#so she can't imagine a worse pain. Just assumes it can't GET worse because she has no emotional concept of 'worse'. so it must be the same

[cafecourage]

Late to the party but can I request just- spoiling the Chain with love and affection and care (including First!) because these boys deserve it

- Softie, who can't remember if this has been asked for already

I think these can combine nicely. 😊 Because all of these boys have a lot of trauma I am going to make a Hc’s to cover everything.

Time:

This man crumbles when you care for him. He is literally always the person that take's care of others so having someone care for him is new. Even if he knows your not flirting he is still receptive to it. Though Time is going to try to give back everything.

Making Time flustered is actually fairly hard. Yes, I just said he crumbles when cared for. However, he more or less soaks it in. Getting him to go all red and mushy and just flustered is extremely hard. You can pull out all the stops and he will not stray from that calm exterior. Maybe he would be blushing but its not as bad as you when he goes to fluster you.

The most nightmares that he would have are from OoT however the most comforts he needs is more from the Majora's Mask adventure.

Because most of the things he has been through was when he was a child, he probably has some sort of childhood memory lost from it. But its more of he knows what happen but the memories he would have just aren't there. It's not like he can see it in his mind eyes. Though I would imagine he would have nightmares of the future hyrule he saw in the adult timeline. That part of the adventure was more horrifying to him then the child portion of the adventure. When this happens he tends to not go back asleep unless you urge him to. He really doesn't want to wake up in a future with out those he cares about.

Time, I would think still has some anxiety towards not being able to keep track of the days. It's mainly because he did lose track of the time while in Termina and he does flinch every time when a clock tower bell chimes. Time has kept most of his masks including the ones with spirits inside, though he assumes they had moved on to the afterlife at this point as even he can sense the lack of magic. Honestly on days that he is more anxious, you would need to ground him. Hold his hand. Give him a hug. Quiet reassurance.

Twilight:

Twilight's suffering comes from abandonment. I am just gonna call him out. He might have a body horror fear, aiming on himself as transforming into a wolf is disgusting and painful.

Honestly even though it hurts he will still become Wolfie to feel some comfort from the other boys. Just as much as he goes wolf to help the others with comfort. Twilight isn't one to ask for physical affection mainly because he was used to just receiving it

What he wants for affection is hugs and kisses. He needs that reassurance that everything is going to be ok. That your not going to leave him as well, also that everything is going to be ok. He really just needs the love and attention.

Twilight's second worse fear is that he will be left alone for the rest of his life. He has abandonment issues which mixing with his wolf protection instincts is just a complete mess of emotions. Just sit his butt down when he gets overbearing a hug him. From that moment on just ban Twilight from moving. If he needs to walk he is gonna have to carry you.

Sometimes you would also need to drag Twilight away to a more quiet location. Being turned into an animal also heightens your senses. We both know the boys are loud. So if its pampering time. You two wont be seen for hours :D

Warriors:

Warriors will rather die then let his demons be known. Which is really good that you know about his adventure! But seriously, Link hates his weakness showing even in private. The man has bad anxiety, he consistently feels like he is being watched. It's not just because of Cia, but knowing that she was always watching him the whole time didn't help, he also had to deal with traitors.

That being said Warriors is another Link that needs the silent affection and comfort. He might twist it on you. That just so he can twist what it looks like to other people. He will 100% take advantage of 'comforting you' to comfort himself as well. Don't point it out, don't even mention it. He will stop and get defensive.

That being said if he is hurt, then call him out on it. Warriors is more willing to be comforted because he is already hurt. He loves his hair being played with, its an instant relaxer for him when he isn't on high high alert. For example, at bed time he is out like a light, but if you play with his hair while walking through town he will tease you.

Warriors is going to need reassurance from time to time. He doesn't think anyone in the chain is going to betray him. But his brain just tells him to always be on edge just incase of an attack. I think when you get to know him better you would be able to notice it. In case of this emergency. There isn't much you can do, other then hold his hand through it. Distracting him wont do much but when he focus's on you he feels a bit better.

All this to say he doesn't get much sleep. He actually is a nightmare when it comes to nightshifts and wont wake people up because he is to anxious to not be awake and on watch. You might just have to throw him down on the bedroll and lay on top of him.

First:

First is hard to read. No matter how long you've known him. It's hard to know if he is ok. You just know that sometimes First comes up to you, hug you and not say anything. You can be in full conversation with someone and he just hugs you from behind. Face in your hair as he takes in your present.

He really doesn't want you to disappear on him. First lost a lot of people then almost lost his life. So let him just seek you out when he is feeling a bit... out of body.

First in general wont tell you what's the matter with him because he doesn't know what's wrong half the time. I image first is a bit no brain cell type. So like when there is a out of body moment it just confusion. Also it doesn't happen to often.

If he does look bothered by something or maybe a bit more out of it then normal. Hugging typically works. Kissing works as well. But he adores hugs and will pick you up so he could cuddle.

Either way you want to spoil first? Cuddle or hugs. Just make sure your touching him that's all he wants. Adores it even.

[tora-the-cat]

An interesting little fun thing with team 7 is that you assume that Sakura's gonna, like, woobify and simplify Sasuke by putting him on a pedastal,cause her goal is centered around him and shes a 12 y/o fangirl so like of course her understanding of him is skewed cause she doesnt see him as a person, just an object of affection, right? She's can't get Sasuke, can't imprint on and/or traumabond with him like Naruto and Kakashi do. They don't see him with rose tinted glasses, because they've lived through their own Horrors and empathize with Sasuke's experience.

......right?

WRONG lmao!! They have too many ghosts!! Naruto's single-minded codependent ass won't get out of his own way long enough to see Sasuke for who he actually is, only able to empathize with the parts of his trauma Naruto relates to and not really capable of understanding him outside of the context of himself (because Sasuke is. His other half). And Kakashi is far too jaded to be fair to him!! He can't decide if Sasuke is gonna end up as a mini-him or a mini-Obito or maybe a mini-Itachi, but either way he ALSO is too traumatized to see Sasuke AS SASUKE.

meanehile SAKURA'S autistic ass may have dogshit empathy, but you know what she does have? A special interest in sasuke. Nothing better to do then give herself a degree in Uchihaisms. She can write character studies about him. she can read his soul. Whenever she says something about him she is right. Every fucking time! She is RIGHT!!!!

'sasuke would NOT compliment me this directly or explicitly express worry unprompted, especially if it gets in the way of his goals' correct.

'Sasuke shouldn't hide that curse on his neck its not healthy BUT if I tell anyone about it he'll never trust me again, which might be even more dangerous for him then the curse mark. Like he can probably handle the curse mark but no one else can stop him from ripping peoples arms off.' correct.

Speaking of! 'Sasuke would not hurt me even when he seems to be...possessed? whatever the only way to knock him out of it is to present myself as Alive and thus something to be protected rather then something to be avenged, because he gets really stuck in his own head about revenge' CORRECT

'hey so um. like. Sasuke's gonna leave Konoha. I'm not sure anything can stop him at this point and honestly I'm kinda starting to doubt anything should, so the only thing I could possibly do to help him at this point is ALSO defect.' CORRECT!!!!

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Imagine # 1,057

Gif NOT mine.

Year posted - 2023

Rating - SFW (Includes injuries involving flogging obviously.)

Reading time (roughly) - 10 minutes

It's been a while since I watched these movies, so some things are not going to be super accurate. Just roll with it my lovelies.

Pushing Will aside (Y/n) stepped forward to face Davy Jones. "I will take his place." She stated suddenly, confusing both Will and Davy Jones. "You will take his place?" The Captain asked in bemusement, a amused smirk on his lips. "Yes." She stated confidently, shaking off Will's arm when he tried pulling her back. "(Y/n) what are you doing?" He hissed at her, again trying to pull her away, giving up when she shook him off a second time. "And why should I let you take Mr. Turner's lashings?" Davy Jones asked, several of his crew mates chuckling at the absurd demand. "Because then he'll actually learn his lesson." She stated matter-of-factly before continuing. "Will's a proud man, if you punish him, he won't learn, he'll only disobey you again, and the cycle will continue." (Y/n) allowed the Captain a moment to think before continuing. "But he's also a honorable man, and should I be punished for his actions, he'll think twice about causing trouble." She concluded, and she could tell Davy Jones saw her perspective. "Very well. The woman will be flogged." The Captain concluded, his men quickly grabbing her arms, and pulling her to the mast. "No!" Will argued trying to put a stop to this, he was grabbed by his father and only held back for a few moments before he broke away.

"You can't do this!" He shouted when he reached her, attempting to pull the crew members away from her. (Y/n) pushed them away and faced Will. "Don't." She warned, not fighting the men when they took ahold of her shoulders. "If you interfere, you'll only make this worse for me." She hissed at him, her serious expression turning to shock when the crew mates tore the back of her shirt open. "Captain get a look at this!" One of the guys barked with amusement, turning (Y/n)'s back to Davy Jones who stood with the rest of the crew. The crew burst into laughter, and the Captain chuckled in amusement. Her back bare to his gaze, Will gawked in astonishment at the sight, where over a dozen large scars littered her back. "It would seem this isn't the first time you've been flogged." Davy Jones mused, waving his arm for them to continue. "No no I can't-!" Will shouted when his father dragged him back by the shoulders. "Will you need to stop, if you keep this up, they will whip her to the bone." His father warned, and the young man went slack, knowing his words were true. "But shes- I-" Will muttered, cutting himself off as he locked eyes with her. "I know son, I know." The old pirate pat his sons shoulder in a vain attempt to comfort him. (Y/n) was shoved against the ships mast, her arms pulled around it, and bound tightly with rope. "She doesn't deserve this." Will muttered mournfully, his heart breaking at the sight of the fear building in her eyes. "She's a tough woman, she will be fine." Bootstrap consoled his son, releasing his hold on him, believing Will wouldn't do anything stupid or rash.

The first strike pulled a pained cry from the woman, and blood stained the deck, instantly getting washed away with the rain. Will couldn't control himself, when the second lashing came, rushing forward to comfort her. "Will don't!" Bootstrap shouted, but it was to late. Will stood before her, taking her hands in his, and resting his forehead against hers. One of the crew mates moved to pull Will away from her, assuming he was trying to free her. "Leave him." Davy Jones commanded, knowing Will wasn't trying to untie her, and allowing him to remain so close to her, knowing it would only hurt him more. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Will wept as she was struck again, and again. Her cries choked and breathless, the pain splitting across her back nearly unbearable. "I swore to protect you." His whisper was pained, as he peered into her watery eyes. "I'm so sorry I have failed you." He squeezed her hands, his own heart breaking at the sound of the whip crack. On the eighth whip crack, (Y/n)'s knees buckled and she fell slack against the mast. Will quickly moved his hands to grab the underside of her bent arms, and pull her to stand up straight. Knowing if she was hunched down, the whip was likely to strike her head, and the man wielding damned thing wouldn't care. "It's almost over." He tried to assure her, knowing the sentencing was only ten lashings. "Hang in there." He whispered, their tears mixing with the heavy fall of rain, foreheads resting together.

The ninth strike, and every muscle in her body shook from the shock, and pain of it all. The tenth and final strike came harder than the others, the force making (Y/n) crumble to the ground, despite Will's attempts to keep her upright. "She has the rest of the day to rest, but I expect her to be on deck working first thing in the morning." Davey Jones dismissed, the crew mates departing to go about their work, leaving Will to help (Y/n). "Take it easy, I've got you, I've got you." He murmured quickly untying her hands, and easing her into his arms as gently as he could. She whimpered in pain, clinging to his arms, her body still shaking from the shock and pain. "Easy firefly easy." He murmured softly, the nickname bringing a ghost of a smile to her face. "I'm okay Will." She murmured weakly, trying to stand on wobbly legs. Instinctively Will wrapped his arm around her back, nearly jumping away from her when she cried out in pain. She fell forward in an instant, and Will rushed forward to catch her in his arms. Now chest to chest, his hands rest firmly on her hips. Swiftly he hoisted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, while she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and buried her face into his neck. "I'm sorry, I've got you now." He whispered into her hair as he carried her below deck. Once they were below deck, and away from prying eyes, Will sat her atop a sturdy table.

"I need to clean your wounds." Will stated in a soft tone, slowly moving to unbutton her now ruined shirt. Moving slow enough to give her the opportunity to push him away, should she want him to stop. She didn't fight him, and allowed him to slide the shirt off of her shoulders. Gently he slipped the shirt from her arms, and tossed the ruined fabric aside. He kept his eyes locked with hers, as she sat before him, bare from the waist up. "Why did you do it?" He asked the question that had been burning in his mind like hellfire. "To keep you from causing any more trouble." She murmured, her words only making Will scoff. "Bullshit. Why did you do it?" He insisted. "Because it's what you do!" (Y/n) suddenly shouted as best she could, grunting at the pain in her back. "You protect the ones you love, no matter what it takes." She huffed before slumping forward. Despite the shock he felt at her words, Will was quick to catch her by the shoulders. "You..." He tried to gather his thoughts, a far away look in his eyes. "Forget it." She grunted, holding herself upright and turning her back to him. "My cuts need dealt with." She reminded him, and in a instant Will rushed to work. Carefully he cleaned each of the open wounds, unable to keep his mind from running a mile a minute. His fingers subconsciously tracing over one of the old scars, muttering an apology when she suddenly pulled away from him.

"What happened?" He asked in a soft whisper. (Y/n) chuckled bitterly, glancing over her shoulder. "The life of a pirate isn't an easy one... Especially with a brother like Jack." She muttered the last part so only Will could hear. "Your-?" He cut himself off, knowing if Davy Jones found out, it could end horribly. "He's reckless." She chuckled again. "Just like someone else I know." Will smiled softly when she glanced over her shoulder at him. "I never meant for you to get hurt." Will muttered as he prepped a needle and thread. "Yeah I know." She shrugged a little. "But I also know that what I told Davy Jones is true. Had it been you to get flogged, you would have ended up making the same mistake of pissing off the Captain of the Flying Dutchman." He hated to admit it, but he knew she was right. "And if I was the one to get hurt, you might actually take the time to stop and think, and maybe just maybe you'd learn to keep your head down." She continued, hissing when Will began stitching her wounds. "We can't just do nothing." Will said, trying not to sound angry. "Jack will come for us, we just need to bide our time." (Y/n) said in a soft tone. "Jack? How can he possibly save us? You heard what Davy Jones said." Will argued, trying to keep his hands steady as he worked on her stitches. "He owns one hundred souls... How can he possibly get one hundred souls?" Will's voice was mournful. "Do you know how Jack came to owe Davy Jones so many souls?" (Y/n) asked pain evident in her voice, making Will slow his work.

"To get back the Pearl." Will stated, and (Y/n) chuckled softly. "Eighty souls would have bought him the Pearl. The other twenty were for me." She explained, her words making Will still in his work for a moment. "You see when Barbossa staged a mutiny, and stole the Pearl from Jack, he kept me prisoner. Knowing full well how close me and Jack are, he wanted to rub salt in the wound." She sighed when Will washed away the blood that had spilled as he worked. "I died Will." He froze at her words. "When the Pearl went down, I went down with her. I drowned of all things." She chuckled bitterly. "Jack bargained for twenty more souls to bring me back." She turned to look at Will. "Jack is reckless, a little crazy, and sometimes a selfish coward... But he always comes back, he always does the right thing, and he does whatever it takes for the ones he cares about." Will smiled faintly at her words, she really believes in her brother, and for her he's willing to believe in Jack as well. "You know... Before you told me Jack was your brother, I thought you guys were a couple." Will smiled at the face she pulled. "But I'm glad to know you aren't." He added before kissing her cheek. "I-" (Y/n) tried, but Will cut her off, turning her back around to finish patching her up. "And I'm glad to know you love me back." He added in a soft tone, kissing the nape of her neck, smiling when she shuddered in response.

Once he finished patching her up, he took and wrapped her torso securely with wrappings. And with that done, he removed his shirt, assisted her into it, and buttoned it up slowly. "What about Elizabeth?" (Y/n) asked after a moment, having been unable to think about what he said. "I thought you loved her?" She added. "I thought I did too. That is until I met you." His knuckles brushed across her cheekbone. "How many times have you saved my life, or protected me?" Will asked with a smile. "You need it." She smiled. "Yeah I guess I do..." His smile slowly faded as he thought about what had happened. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, that I did this to you... I promise... I promise you I won't let this happen again." Will insisted, resting his forehead against hers. "You know that's what Jack always says, when he gets me into some crazy situation that risks life and death." (Y/n) mused with a grin. "The life of a pirate isn't an easy one, but luckily for me, I was born to be a pirate." She added, making Will smile. "You should get some rest, the Captain expects you to be working on deck in the morning." He helped her off of the table, laid back in the hammock, and pulled her gently to lay chest to chest with him. "Drink up me hearties yo ho." (Y/n) sang softly, a tired smile pulling at her lips. "Sleep love." Will encouraged her, kissing the crown of her head.

Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️

(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think Tom getting Hagrid expelled was probably the best thing to happen to him? Because, assuming the Chamber of Secrets fiasco never happened, Aragog would have got out of Hagrid's trunk and he would have killed someone eventually.

It was probably pretty clear to everyone that Hagrid didn't open the Chamber and Aragog didn't attack anyone, as why would a Acromantula petrify a bunch of students and kill only one without eating any of them? Hell, Acromantula's can't even petrify people, so Aragog's clearly not the culprit. But, they were just the covenient scapegoat to make it seem like they were doing something.

It must have been pretty easy to justify Hagird remaining on school grounds as gamekeeper since he was just the fall guy and to everyone else the real culprit must have either got cold-feet after Myrtle's death or got killed themself by whatever monster they were using since the attacks stopped after that.

But, without the Chamber opening, Aragog would have no doubt escaped sooner or later and would have made lunch out of some poor little first-year. If that happened, Hagrid would have probably ended up in Azkaban.

There's a lot to unpack here.

What I Think is the Going Theory By People

At first, it looked like a prank, a very terrifying and unsettling prank but a prank. Someone rights blood on the walls that The Chamber of Secrets is Open, Enemies of the Heir Beware. And just. What the fuck.

The prank continues to get worse as several students are petrified. However, there's a key thing there, they are petrified and not killed. Petrification is a terrible but very reversable process with no after effects going by what we see in canon. It's just a pain in the fucking ass and you better hope you have enough mandrakes on hand or else it'll take for fucking ever to order them all.

Because of that, while it is terrifying and harmful, it's not quite the same as say when Katie Bell was cursed by the amulet in HBP where she had to go to an intensive ward in the hospital for months.

It still I imagine for most people falls in the realm of 'really stupid, dangerous, awful, what the fuck prank that some pureblood idiot thinks is funny'.

I imagine there's increasing speeches of "please knock this the fuck off whoever is doing this" at dinner in the Great Hall from Dippet and him only getting blank stares in response as the vast majority of students is not the ones doing it.

I'm sure like in canon people outside Slytherin blamed the most Pureblood Slytherin they could find (like how Harry assumed it was Malfoy at first), Dumbledore blamed Tom because he always does/he knows Tom is the Heir of Slytherin in actuality and that there might very well be a Chamber of Secrets or even if there isn't Tom would sure use the mantle if he ever found out about it, and I have my thoughts for what the Slytherin's thought but that's another post for another day.

Then a girl dies and suddenly this isn't a prank. There's a period of panic when the school is considered being shut down by the board, maybe there really is a Chamber of Secrets, and then they find a likely culprit, Rubeus Hagrid who has an Acromantula wandering around the school and has a history of bringing in extremely dangerous creatures into the school.

The thing is, I think most people at the time, and even later (barring those we see in canon who for their own reasons do not believe this) think it was Hagrid and a no brainer.

He has a creature whose bite causes death wandering about the halls and then shock of all shocks a student dies. True, while Acromantulas don't petrify, it's entirely possible that the petrifications/blood on the walls wasn't Hagrid and an unrelated stupid Pureblood prank. Added to this we don't seem to get much of a sense of forensic investigations/autopsies when it comes to wizarding world crimes (note that crime scene investigations is never really mentioned and there's only Aurors who come up whose job is just to catch dangerous Dark Wizards, not figure out what the hell happened at a place). So, I'm not sure that they could conclusively say what Myrtle had or had not died from/if they did an autopsy. For that matter, I don't know if it's common enough knowledge of what death by Acromantula looks like in a body after X hours have passed.

It's also not clear, I'm sure to most people given that Hagrid seems to be a pioneer of studying creatures, how Acromantula's feed and how they behave. Do we know that Acromantulas under threat don't poison their victims then scamper away? Do they always bite to feed? Since we know the spiders are sapient this has an extra layer of spice as well--humans certainly don't always kill to feed.

Which makes the defense of Hagrid of "but Acromantulas don't cause petrification!" or "An Acromantula would definitely eat that person it came across and never kill them in any other circumstance" very thin.

I imagine it depends who you ask but there's probably a few prevalent theories on how this all fits together:

Hagrid's spider killed Myrtle, but the blood and the petrifications were an unrelated stupid prank and no one wants to stick their nose into it after a girl died. After Hagrid's arrested/the death, all of it stops anyway so let's not think about it.

Hagrid's spider killed Myrtle and Hagrid had prepared for this eventuality by writing blood on the walls and petrifying students via some other method left and right so that people would think it was a Pureblood Slytherin. Hagrid has notably had run-ins with Slytherins before (see Tom noting the werewolf cubs under the bed/presumably having clashes with Hagrid) and it's possible he already resented them and that this was a ploy to frame someone else for murder/the spider's activities.

Hagrid was innocent! Someone else unrelated used some other monster that then never struck again and was never seen again and was never found in fifty years since to kill Myrtle and petrify those students! Sure, Hagrid has a bad history of bringing in dangerous creatures, doesn't get along great with other students who keep narking on him, and has been quite isolated and admittedly resentful of Slytherins but he's innocent! Because he's a good person who'd never harm a fly! (Except that there's the possibility this was unwitting manslaughter because Hagrid was letting a spider roam the halls)

I don't think anyone thinks Hagrid's actually the Heir of Slytherin or that the Chamber of Secrets even really exists. There might be some, but they'd be considered very stupid.

He has a creature whose bite causes death wandering about the halls and either the petrifications/blood was an unrelated prank from someone who was very unfunny or else Hagrid did it to cover up for himself/out of gleeful preparation for when his spider finally did kill someone. I imagine it depends who you ask, some will think Hagrid only did the death, some will think he did the whole Chamber of Secrets thing as well.

I imagine several don't even believe the Chamber existed or was opened at all but that Hagrid was definitely 100% guilty.

That is, unless you're Dumbledore, in which case it was that fucker Tom Riddle and you know it, you know it in your bones, you can smell it in the air, you just can't fucking prove it. But one day, Tom. One day.

Was Hagrid a Scapegoat/Was it Clear He Didn't Do it?

Honestly, I don't think he was. I think they honestly and truly believed that he was the one responsible because of what's outlined above. Added to the fact that arresting him caused it all to stop when the spider disappeared... it's not a good look.

A scapegoat is one thing, but very important people's children all go to Hogwarts, and people like the Blacks, the Malfoys, so on and so forth don't want a scapegoat they want this stopped. If it was just Dippet appeasing them then I imagine there'd be a lot more pushback for investigation. I think the Board of Governors believes it was Hagrid as well as does the Wizengamot at large.

So, no, not a scapegoat, they 100% thought he did it.

Similarly, I think pretty much everyone except Dumbledore believed Hagrid was responsible. No, it wasn't obvious that Hagrid didn't do it (for much the reason it wasn't obvious to Harry and Ron after Riddle told them. Harry didn't want to believe Riddle, Hagrid's so nice, but it... tracks...)

The them getting killed themselves by the monster is... well... who is missing aside from Myrtle? And why would that stop the monster from rampaging? The spider's gone and we know it's gone so kind of makes sense that everything stopped when the spider's gone.

Was it Hard to Hire Hagrid?

I imagine it was actually quite difficult for Hagrid to be hired on as assistant groundskeeper. I think what saved him there was Dumbledore really going to bat with him for Dippet using the "this poor orphan boy with no prospects and I personally think he isn't responsible for reasons I can't get into because no one will ever believe me" and Dippet feeling sympathy and telling himself "okay, Hagrid had his wand snapped, he is an orphan with no prospects who will starve if we don't employ him here, and his supervisors can keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't do anything".

I imagine a lot of the students and the Board of Governors were very leery of Hagrid being hired/in proximity of the students but some combination of Dippet and Dumbledore brushed that under the rug.

By the time we get to canon enough time has passed, enough has happened, that people have kind of forgotten about this as shown by it not being discussed until the Aurors arrive for Hagrid because "wow Hagrid, this is exactly like fifty years ago, you're still here, and we have you on record saying things like 'all Slytherins are evil at birth', are we doing this again, Hagrid?"

Would Hagrid Have Ended Up in Azkaban if the Spider Had Killed Someone?

Honestly, I don't think anything would have changed from what happened in canon. Because this is what people thought happened.

If there was no Chamber of Secrets debacle and this just randomly happened I think Dumbledore would still go to bat for Hagrid and get him the groundskeeping job (as it seems Dumbledore must have covered for Hagrid in the past). Dumbledore would probably blame Tom Riddle or else quietly admit it was probably Hagrid but Hagrid's just so sweet and it was clearly an accident.

Given that this is exactly what the Wizengamot/greater Wizarding World thought happened, I think Hagrid would be given the same punishment of expulsion and wand snapping, probably because it's manslaughter and he's a minor.

It was only when we went for round 2, fifty years later when Hagrid's an adult and it's looking very purposeful/not like manslaughter, that Hagrid got his stint in Azkaban.

And at this fucking point--

Well, @therealvinelle and I have an @rankheresy episode planned. I'll just leave it there.

[ohbo-ohno]

okay have another ghoap ask-

Johnny eventually gets used to his punishments- Ghost has to change them up constantly to keep Johnny from being used to them, until reader shows up into their lives

assuming they acquired reader via kidnapping or the like, and as something akin to a playmate for Soap, and that he’s bonded really well with reader, Ghost punishes reader in Johnny’s stead

Johnny might be used to whippings but reader is not and doesn’t know why she’s being punished, until Johnny apologizes and Ghost stops

although I imagine the aftermath of punishments would hurt Soap worse, when his darling reader gets nervous around him, preferring to stick to the side of Ghost to try and keep him from punishing her

i think this works in really specific au's! like i've written about it a bit in various asks for my conqueror ghost au, but i don't think it would really work in dlmliyh

it really depends on how much of a sadist soap is imo. i think he's a total masochist, but like in dlmliyh he's very much getting off on reader's pain so her getting punished in his place really wouldn't work. but in the conqueror au, where he's dedicated to protecting and caring for her? he's punished almost exclusively through her, because that's just what makes the most sense

he gets real panicky when that happens though :( needs lots of comfort from her, and can't help but be a little mad at ghost for a bit, even though he's pretty well-conditioned pretty quickly. it takes a bit of pushing from ghost, but he backs down pretty quick (if he even starts getting bratty with ghost in the first place)

[lilacwisps]

How about Sebastian, Ominis and Garreth seeing hickeys *someone else* left on MC? I wanna see some jealousy

Ooh, so scandalous. Thank you for request, nonnie, this was fun 💜 these hc assume that the boys don’t know who MC’s secret squeeze is

Sebastian: 

Sebastian instantly notices and recognizes two deep red marks on MC's neck, just above her collar - there can be no mistake as to what they are. Immediately, he's painfully, desperately jealous. 

He cannot stand the idea of someone else holding MC, touching her, kissing her, and leaving their marks on her - she's supposed to be his.

Sebastian instantly wants to know the identity of MC's lover. Still, a small part of him is reluctant - picturing MC in the arms of a nameless, faceless figure is already bitter beyond imagining, but knowing who she'd been sharing her nights with is almost worse. 

His curiosity will get the better of him, as it usually does, and Sebastian will stop at nothing to find out who MC is seeing. 

At the same time, he'll find any excuse not to let MC out of his sight. As long as she's around him, she can't secretly meet her lover, can she?

Ominis will instantly notice the shift in Sebastian, but he'll, of course, vehemently deny it, though to no avail - his jealousy is quite obvious to anyone who knows him well.

He will insist that everything he's doing is for MC's protection if confronted.

He will not be able to put the image of MC with someone else out of his mind and will spend days and nights consumed by the thought. 

Ominis: 

Since Ominis cannot see, Sebastian is the one to point out the love bites on MC's neck. 

"Looks like MC had fun last night," Sebastian remarks one day at breakfast in the Great Hall. 

    "What makes you say that?" Ominis asks, confused. 

    "It's pretty obvious - her neck is covered in hickeys."

As soon as Ominis hears that, his heart drops as a cold, sinking feeling uncoils in his chest. It's unlike anything he's ever felt, so all-consuming it terrifies him to his core. 

He tells himself he doesn't understand why he's reacting that way to the news of MC having a lover. He's lying, of course - he knows full well that he'd been falling for MC for a while, and he truly thought that they had something special, but, it turns out, that was all in his head since, clearly, she didn't feel the same.

He's not surprised that MC has fallen for someone else - after all, he'd be quite delusional to think she'd fall for him of all people, given all his issues, but it still hurts. 

Ominis is jealous, but he hides those feelings significantly better than Sebastian. Unlike Sebastian, he might start avoiding MC because being around her feels far too painful. Hopes that putting some distance between them will put her out of his mind, but it doesn't. 

Like Sebastian, Ominis will try to find out who MC is seeing. If he succeeds, it's a toss-up as to whether he will try to scare the secret lover off or if he'll try to threaten him into treating MC with utmost love and care. 

Garreth: 

Garreth doesn't notice the love bites on MC's neck for a while until, one day, they get paired up in Potions class. As MC reaches over the workstation for a brass scale, the collar of her robes shifts, and Garreth sees three deep red marks, which he instantly recognizes as hickeys. 

There is a strange, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he looks at the marks, but Garreth does his best to put that out of his mind. MC's a good friend - he should be happy for her that she'd found someone she likes. 

Unfortunately for Garreth, the heart wants what it wants, and his definitely doesn't want to accept that MC likes someone else. 

When he notices the marks again, Garreth cannot help but wonder what it would be like to be the one to hold MC, to touch and kiss her, but he tries not to dwell on those thoughts for too long. He fails every time.

Unlike Ominis and Sebastian, he's a little more open, so he'll try casually asking MC about her relationship. However, if she's unwilling to give any details, he won't press. 

Unlike Ominis, he won't try avoiding MC. Garreth cherishes MC's company, and even if it's painful to know she's in love with someone else, losing her friendship would be much more painful. 

On the surface, almost nothing will change about his relationship with MC - not because Garreth is good at hiding his feelings, not at all, but instead because he's genuinely happy to spend time with her. Deep inside, however, he'll definitely have a difficult time accepting that his feelings are unrequited.

[fabaceous]

do you think jackieshauna could've gotten together eventually if the plane didn't crash/if jackie hadn't died or were they doomed from the start?

hi anon i know this took a while (sorry) but it's because this is one of my favorite cans of worms to open and i had a lot to say. so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it ;)

my answer, depending on the day and my mood, ranges from NO to YES, BUT to NO, BUT.

NO, because i think that even on a pure friendship level they are doomed. their flaws were like, designed in a lab (or a writer's room lol) to tear them apart. jackie is insecure and holds on too tightly to shauna. shauna quietly resents jackie for it and fucks around behind her back. as long as they have these traits, their relationship is a ticking time bomb. they will never make it within ten miles of a romantic relationship because even their friendship is doomed.

NO, because even if their friendship doesn't implode, they are both simply too damn repressed to ever make a move. im not even saying this as a cop-out, like, i truly believe in my heart and soul that they both have latent romantic feelings for each other but they tie themselves in all sorts of pretzels to avoid it and i'll go even further and say they are both REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT IT. like more so than most people. given my own experiences denying my (in hindsight incredibly obvious) feelings for girls (and i SUCK at repressing things) i have no doubt at all that they could go the rest of their lives convincing themselves that some girlfriendships are Just Like That. the human mind is a very powerful thing and the human mind on comphet and repression? nearly unstoppable. and even if they dont have some world-shattering blowout, and their friendship just sort of fizzles out for some nebulous and ambiguous (read: gay yearning related) reason, years later they'll still be looking back at their relationship saying Huh. Wasnt That Weird...Well...Nevertheless...I'm Sure It Was Nothing To Worry About...

like, okay, im gonna spend a little more time with this one because i think their repression is so key to their dynamic. jackie is obviously unable to face any aspect of herself that is even remotely imperfect. gay feelings for shauna would definitely fall into that category given what i assume she has internalized from her parents and her peers and it being the 1990s. shauna, while more willing to accept her dark side, cant bear the thought of wanting jackie like that. its the one bridge she cant cross. she'll literally fuck jeff. fucking JEFF!!! before she lets herself act on desire for jackie (at least not in a straightforward/normal way lol)

i think both of them on some level must feel that they have a desire for each other, or else they wouldn't be so desperate to avoid it. but they are SO desperate to avoid it, and i don't really have anything to back this up other than my gut feeling but i just can't imagine them ever overcoming their respective hurdles of repression, and definitely not under normal high-school circumstances. MAYBE in the wilderness they would've had a chance IF THINGS HAD GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY because they would be free from societal expectations or whatever, and maybe a life or death situation could've given them enough of a shock that they'd finally own up to their feelings. but EVEN THEN, personally, i think it's still questionable. i think this is just so deeply rooted that it would be anywhere from incredibly difficult to impossible for both of them to get past it. (it's no good if only one of them overcomes the repression, btw. then you just have unrequited pining (but secretly actually requited but the other person won't admit that they're requiting it so it's effectively unrequited which would be perhaps even worse and more painful. btw. if you even care))

now on to the other options...

YES, BUT, even if by some miracle they were able to get past their repression and date each other, i guarantee you all their toxic habits would be not only repeated but MAGNIFIED by being in a romantic relationship. like, ok, the good news is, they would finally be free to be openly obsessed with each other lol. but... imagine jackie gets EVEN MORE insecure about shauna leaving her because now she actually feels like she has a legit claim on shauna being "hers". before, her possessiveness (for lack of a more nuanced term) was tempered by the fact that they are just friends, and shauna should theoretically be allowed to have other friends, even if jackie doesn't like it. but shauna should NOT be having other girlfriends. so jackie would likely be reaching new levels of terrified of shauna leaving her. shauna would still be unable to address conflict directly. rinse and repeat this whooooole vicious cycle until it blows up in their faces like laura le--[gunshot]

finally, NO, BUT, and this one may be controversial & a bit more far fetched than the others, but i do think that under the right circumstances they could kiss or even fuck without it compromising their repression. i actually even think they could have a sort of sneaky situationship while still repressing their bigscaryfeelings for each other. HEAR ME OUT. they are both very careful about compartmentalizing their desire for each other and keeping it hidden FROM THEMSELVES. they often fail and it boils over despite their best efforts, but the more important thing is that they think they're succeeding at keeping their desire from breaching containment. and as long as they have that plausible deniability where they are hiding it from themselves, even if they don't manage to hide it from the rest of us (or even each other), i dont think its impossible for them to act on the desire, like, on pure instinct, but without actually intellectually or emotionally acknowledging the larger implications that that brings. and even if the desire breaches containment, they could still find a way to write it off as just desire in general and not desire for each other specifically. especially when they also still have the excuse of being horny teenagers with no impulse control, they could easily brush it off as, oh, we were just drunk, we were just experimenting. or even, oh, it was just shauna, it's not like i actually LIKE-like her, i just made out with her, but its shauna, so it obviously doesnt mean anything.

and i think they could even do this consistently for weeks months MAYBE up to a year or so, while deluding themselves into thinking this is somehow normal or not a big deal. because they have already proven they are masters of doublethink and repression, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far lol. but it would 100% also blow up in their faces. the question is, who would crack first? who would want something real? or who would walk away because it got too real? theres sooo much to ponder with this particular scenario and it's all very juicy and compelling (and GOD would i love to see it unfold with my own two eyeballs, can bart and ashley please write and film an AU of their own tv show?!) but i dont think it would ever lead them anywhere good or healthy.

so long story short (lol. conciseness has never been my strong suit as is probably abundantly clear by now) i personally do not think there is any possibility of a satisfying happy-ending scenario for these two. and i personally am perfectly okay with that because so much about them would have to change in order for them to get a happy ending that at that point, they would no longer be the jackie and shauna that i know and love.

[glittter-vamp]

Ohio Is For Lovers | J.B

CHAPTER 7

Joe Burrow x Reader.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI. Mention of pregnancy. Explicit language.

Word count: 3,888

It's been almost two weeks now since you found out about Joe possibly becoming a father and you hadn't talked to him since. He still hadn't told you about the situation, Mariana told him you had been out of town for work so he had left you alone. You just couldn't believe that he would lie to you about this, sure you guys weren't serious but you were still having sex with the guy after all. Joe also completely threw away that new years game, you assumed it had been because of the news he got about him becoming a dad, which sucked for everyone else on the team and the fans. "Hey do you have aspirin? I have like a weird pain in my back from that stupid chair at work." Sasha asks you as you guys hang out in your living room having a wine down Wednesday without the wine. "It's in my bathroom in the medicine cabinet." You nod and she thanks you leaving to your room. "So, why are you so mopey?" Sasha asks coming to sit next to me. "Hm?" You hum. "You've been like not yourself for the past few days, what's up?" She asks. "Nothing, work just has my ass beat." You yawn. "Lie again." Sasha says and you roll your eyes. "It's nothing." You shake your head not wanting to get into your feelings right now. "Is it a certain football player?" She raises her eyebrow and you sigh knowing she's not going to let it go. "Okay, safe space time. Spilll your heart out!" She says turning towards you so you had her full attention. Sasha has always been one for deep talks even though she was the first one to make jokes and not be the serious one in our friend group.

"I don't know... I guess it bothers me that Joe still hasn't tried reaching out to talk about this whole baby thing, but I also feel like it's dumb to feel this ways because it's not like we're serious." You say. "I don't think it's wrong that you're feeling like that, just because you two aren't in a committed relationship doesn't mean him having a baby won't affect whatever it is you two have going on with each other. Like I can't imagine having your fun with him, building some sort of relationship... serious or not and then one day he's just like "so listen, I'm actually getting back together with my baby momma so bye" or worse that he's been two timing...which with men? Never surprising." She shakes her head.

"I guess you have a point, I just think maybe I'm being stupid cause we've only just started all this." You shrug. "Yeah but he's a sexual partner lying about something pretty big, I can see why the red flags are popping up to you." Sasha says. Before I could respond there was a knock on my door. You two look at each other confused since you weren't expecting anyone, Mariana was with Ja'Marr out of town because of some pre Super Bowl events and Peyton had to work late today and couldn't join us.

You get up from your couch and look through the peep hole and your stomach dropped immediately seeing who it was and you turn to Sasha giving her a stunned look. "Who is it?" She whispers getting another knock on the door. "Joe!" You whisper yell and her eyes widened. "I thought Mariana told him you were out of town?!" She whispers back. "That's what she told me!" You whisper back. There was yet another knock on the door. He definitely knew you were here and he was not going to leave.

"Open it!" Sasha says and you let out a big sigh. You compose yourself and open the door meeting face to face with Joe after a week and a half. "Uh, hey..." you say awkwardly. Joe looked completely unamused and frankly, like shit. He looked tired and washed out. "Can we talk?" Joe asks and you look back at Sasha who was looking at you two. "I have company over- actually it's getting late and I have work tomorrow. I'll talk to you later?" Sasha says getting up and grabbing her stuff. "Oh um, okay." You nod mentally screaming at her, to not leave. She gives you a hug and whispers good luck before she turns and gives a Joe a dirty look pushing past him. JOe looked at her confused but didn't say anything.

"Now can we talk?" Joe asks and you sigh letting him through the door and closing it behind it. "Say what you have to say." You sigh. "What the hell is your problem? Why did you lie about being out of town?" Joe asks and you scoff. "My problem?! MY PROBLEM? Are you insane?" You say back in disbelief. "Yeah your problem!? You're hot and cold with me, we agree to being friends with benefits, have sex without protection for gods sake! And then you practically ghost me and have your best friend lie to my face and say that you're busy out of town with work?! I know we aren't serious or anything but I don't appreciate being lied to" He argues back which made your blood boil hearing those last words. This man was about to get dropkicked, you thought to yourself.

"You know, you have some fucking nerve to call out anyone's lies at the moment with the one you've been keeping from me." You cross your arm looking at him and he looks at you confused for a second before his face drops. "Y/N, That's different- The hell it is! You're angry towards my lying about going away for work and not talking to you when I didn't but it's totally different to lie to me about having a fucking kid with the woman who had me being slut shamed online for weeks? God, hooking up with you has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever done." You say rubbing your temples. "It's a complicated situation Y/N! I don't even know if it's mine, she was cheating on me first remember? Whose to say she's just not fucking with me? And we just started messing around with each other, what would you have done if I just said "Oh, by the way, I might become a dad in a few months with another woman but we should keep fucking each others brains out anyway?" He says sarcastically making you scoff. "I would of respected you a bit more for being an adult and communicating with me what was going on, instead of having your friend and teammate be a man and tell me because even he thought I should be respected enough to know! If I got pregnant and didn't know who the father was, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I'm not and keep having sex with you! Which I know that's what you were going to do with me!" You snap back shutting him up.

"I'm sorry Y/N... I should of handled this situation better. I just felt like everything was finally going really good between us and this was going to fuck all that up." Joe sighs looking at you with eyes filled with sadness. "Well lying to me about things isn't going to ever help you Joe." You say to him. "Can we just over?" He says stuffing his hands the pockets of his sweats. He was wearing some weird rainbow pant, a blue hoodie and a beanie now that you were really looking at him. "I don't think us starting over every time we have an issue is the answer but I can settle on just being friends right now, I still have some stuff I need to think about. Like you said, all of this is a lot." You answer to him which you weren't lying about. You didn't know how you felt still having sex with a person who had no issue lying to you about serious stuff. "That's fine." He nods solemnly but you couldn't help but be distracted by his outfit at the moment.

"I'm sorry but dude what the hell are you wearing? You look like Eminem in 8 mile if he had a crossover with the wizard of oz?" You snort, Joe looking down at his outfit. "I like it." He shrugs not being phased by your comment and you chuckle shaking your head.

"I'm sorry about your loss by the way, that game was pretty rough." You say to Joe and he takes a deep breath letting it out. "Thanks, that was probably the worst game of my career so that's fun to deal with." He sighs. "You'll get it next season." You nod and he gives you a small smile. "I should get going, but I'll text you? Promise, no more lies between us?" He asks sounding of more of a question than a statement. "Yeah." You nod walking him out. "Goodnight." He says giving you once last look. "Goodnight." You respond before shutting the door and locking it. What a fucking night.

***********************

A few weeks later:

"That movie was so fucking stupid." Peyton says as we walk out of the theater. "You only think it's stupid because they killed off your favorite character." You laugh sipping on what's left of your soda before throwing it out in the nearest trash bin. "Exactly!" Peyton says. You and Peyton had decided to go to the movies on a nice Saturday afternoon since Sasha and Mariana were both busy and you both hadn't seen each other since New Year's Day. "Wanna get some gelato? My treat." You ask Peyton walking back to your car. "I could use a cheat day." Peyton agrees. You drive to the gelato place near the theater and park. "Only we would come and eat gelato in the middle of winter." Peyton says as we enter the empty shop. "This is the perfect time to eat it, it won't melt." You smirk. You two order some gelato and pay for it taking a seat by the window.

"So, how's life?" Pertain asks taking a bite of the gelato. "My job is opening up another branch in Rhode Island, they offered me a transfer with better pay." You say and Peyton's eyes go wide. "You're leaving Cincy bitch!?" He asks. "I haven't decided but it sounds kind of nice. Something new." You shrug taking a bite of my ice cream. "If you leave me, I'll die. I love Mariana and Sasha but those girls are way to boy crazy for me." Peyton says fake crying making you laugh. "You're so dramatic! You can visit me anytime if I choose to leave but Ohio doesn't feel permanent to me." You sigh. "Not to sound like an ass...but are you feeling like you need to leave because of the whole Joe thing?" Peyton asks. "It's part of it, I still get looks in groceries stores & im sure any day now news will break about his ex-girlfriends pregnancy so I'm sure that whole thing that happened the night we met will blow up again... I just didn't sign up for that." You shake your head. "That's reasonable. When that first happened I had a few journalists in my DM's trying to get information about you for the tabloids." Peyton shakes his head. "And you didn't tell me?!" You ask shocked. "No, you were going through enough." Peyton says unapologetic which made you roll your eyes. "You're annoying." You say making him laugh. You two finish your ice cream and leave walking back to your car when Peyton says something. "No way." He says stopping in his tracks. You look at where he was looking at and spot Joe across the street getting out of his car along with his ex girlfriend. Neither of them seemed content to be together. Staring at them Joe spots you and you can see the color leave his face. Peyton shakes his head at him and you look away and get into the car, Peyton following you. "You okay?" He asks. "Yeah why wouldn't I be?" I ask turning on my car. "I can keep my word and call my group of gay friends." Peyton says making you snort as you drive off. "Don't be dramatic." You giggle. "It's okay to be bothered- I'm not. It's weird but I can't be bothered and I'm not." You say continuing the drive. But as much as you said those words to yourself, you were bothered by what you just saw.

************************* After that whole weird run in with Joe, you made your way home after dropping Peyton off at his. You were in your apartment now and you couldn't stop thinking about seeing Joe with his ex or whatever she is. It made you glad that you decided not to continue having sex with him if they were that friendly to be riding with each other on a Saturday evening.

As you sat on your couch watching a re-run of The Office, your phone vibrates next to you. You pick it up and see that it was Joe sending me a text.

Joe: Hey, can we talk?

You sigh not really wanting to get into it right now with him.

You: If it's about today, that isn't none of my business.

Joe: You said we can remain friends and I really need a friend right now. Can you come over? Please, I'll send you gas money. 

You debate for a moment but for some reason you couldn't say no to him.

You: I'll be there soon.

Is all you reply. You get up from the couch and throw on some warm clothes and shoes. It was late and freezing cold outside tonight. You drive all the way to Joe's, once again the door flying open before you could ring the doorbell. "Gotta stop doing that." You mutter walking in and he chuckles.

"I made us hot chocolate... thanks for driving over here. I really appreciate it." Joe says as you follow him to the kitchen. "So what's up? Need help with the wedding planning?" You ask trying to lighten the mood and he gives you an annoyed look. "I think she's bullshitting me." Joe says handing you the hot mug. "Why do you say that?" You ask taking a sip of the hot chocolate which was surprisingly really good.

"I agreed to talk to her today face to face, that's why you saw us together and she just seems like she's lying." Joe says leaning on the counter in front of you. "Lying about the pregnancy?" You ask. "No, but lying about that I'm father. She went from, 'I think it might be you, to 'You're the dad and I know'. He says and you nod not really knowing what to say or how to feel about all this information. "She's what, 32 weeks now? I did the math. She was away on a girls trip 32 weeks ago, so she said and after that I was out of town for a week and a half for work stuff... we didn't have sex for two weeks...probably longer because that when the cheating rumors started and we were fighting every other day. How would it be mine?" Joe asks and you sigh. "We cant determine anything until the baby is here and you can get a paternity test done, Joe. The best thing you could do is get legally prepared in case she gives you trouble to obtain that test or has some trick up her sleeve." You tell him. Joe was definitely going through it right now, you did feel bad. I couldn't imagine having a baby with someone who cheated on you.

"The thing is...what if it's not mine and I'm over here being there for them both when she's giving birth and stuff. That's not fair to me." Joe says. "If that ends up being the case it really isn't fair but what if it does end up being your kid and you miss that special moment of when he or she is brought into this world? I think it's better safe than sorry." You say and Joe takes a deep a breath sighing. "I should of left her immediately after I found out she was cheating." He mutters. "I didn't know you stayed." You raise an eyebrow. "I very stupidly blamed myself for her actions because of how I was never home and then when I realized there was no excuse for what she did and I got angry... I did what I did because I wanted to get back at her." Joe says giving you a look filled of regret as you sipped your hot chocolate.

"Have you told your parents about all this?" You ask changing the subject not wanting to talk about what happened between you guys when you first met again. "Yeah... I don't think I've ever seen them so disappointed in me." He sighs. "My sister went through something similar, she was dating this guy back when I was in college who the whole family just hated for her, he treated her like garbage and cheating on her with her best friend. They finally broke up and a few weeks later found out that she was pregnant. She decided to keep it and my parents were furious, so were the siblings but we were there for her much more than my parents were. Fast forward a few years later and my parents adore that grandchild and she's happily engaged to a man that actually respects and loves her." You shrug.

"I'm glad things worked out for your sister and nephew or niece but, that's not how I pictured becoming a dad. I'm still not even sure if I wanted kids and dating at my age with a kid isn't gonna be easy." He scoffs which makes you snort. "Joe, you're a hot millionaire quarterback. You could have 6 kids with different women and you'd still have a larger dating pool than most guys. Look at nick cannon, dude is on baby number 68 with baby momma 54 and the women and kids just keep coming. All he does is rap battles and go on podcasts." You say making him laugh.

"Okay, maybe you're right but still this is going to change things." He shakes his head. "It is! But you don't have to go through it alone. You have friends and family that will be there for you." You nod. "I know but I don't even know where to start, the baby will be here in two months and I have no idea what to do." Joe says brushing his fingers through his hair which you've noticed has gotten a bit longer than usual. You weren't mad at it.

"Okay, follow me." You say hopping off the bar chair and heading upstairs. Joe giving you and look of confusion but he doesn't hesitate. You walk over to the closet guest bedroom that was to his bedroom and turn the lights on. You noticed even though it was tidy he had a bunch of shoe boxes stacked in here. "Okay, this here can be their nursery. The crib can go here, changing table here, maybe a rocking chair here. Baby cam up here, toys over here with a play pen and a dresser over here." You say finishing off and Joe looks at you in an amused way. "But we don't even know if the baby is mine so why would I spend time and money on the baby if I don't know." Joe says and you sigh. "Joseph, you spent thousands of dollars on me when you bought be those earrings not knowing what was going to happen to us why is it an issue for you to do the same for someone that might actually be your child?" You ask and he bites his lip nervously having nothing to say because you were right. "So, as I was saying...this would be a great room for them. It's close to yours and it's quiet and comfortable." You nod looking around before you turn back to him and you notice him staring at you in a way you've never seen before.

"What? Do I have chocolate on my face?" You ask and he chuckles shaking his head no. "I've just missed you putting me in my place." He says and you playfully roll your eyes. "I'm serious, I know I can be an ass sometimes and I appreciate you calling me out on stuff, especially...when you don't have to." Joe says inching closer to you. Your breath hitching in your throat. You can smell his aftershave on him and the hot chocolate he was drinking. Even when he's pissed you off, he still drove you mad. "Can I be honest with you?" Joe asks feeling his hands gently grab your waist. All you could do was nod as you got lost in those beautiful blue green eyes of his.

"I only brought up the whole the whole friends with benefits thing because I was scared of you rejecting me for anything more serious." He says and you raise an eyebrow. "Why are you telling me this?" You whisper. "Because I'm tired of all the lies and bullshit. I've liked you since I've met you, even if I fucked it up and showed otherwise." He says laying his forehead on yours closing his eyes. "Joe, I think you're just feeling really vulnerable right now because of the last few weeks in your life. You don't mean that." You say and he snorts. "You haven't left my mind since the second party we were at." Joe says. "That just could of been guilt because of the whole crazy tabloid and social media rumor stuff." You say and he leans back looking at you unamused. "Stop doing that. I'm being honest with you right now about my feelings, stop making excuses for what I've felt and how I'm feeling now." Joe says making you bite your lip.

"Sorry... I guess I kind of suppressed some of my own feelings too but Joe... C'mon what are we doing here. You might have a baby and our whole whatever this is we have going on, has been so up and down. I don't think a relationship is smart." You say to him and he nods looking down at his feet. "I know, I really wish things were different. I'm not asking anything of you but I just needed to tell you how I really felt. I at least owed you that." Joe says and you give him a small smile. "Look at you, being emotionally mature. Dad thing already hitting you." You laugh and he gives you an unamused look. "Shut up, come on. Let's go down stairs, I need help picking out stuff for this so called baby room." Joe says and you chuckle nodding. "But, before we go...just one kiss?" Joe asks with hopeful eyes and you chuckle. "Joe..." you sigh. "One!" He mouths holding up one finger and you grab the back of his neck giving him a sweet tender kiss filled with more emotion than you anticipated. It felt so wrong but yet, so right.

[abyssalaerlocke]

Astarion & Hunger

So I'm going to talk about insatiable hunger through my own experiences, which were caused by a health problem.

My whole life I've always been hungry. As a kid, it was played off as 'having a hollow leg' and just being a growing kid. But it never stopped. I'm talking almost constant gnawing hunger pains, no matter what or how much I ate, it wouldn't go away. I would become painfully full while still painfully hungry. I flip flopped between eating constantly to try and make it go away, and giving up and trying to ignore and distract myself from it because food wouldn't help anyway — it took so much time and energy in my life, just to get nothing from it.

There are a couple quests in The Witcher 3 (probably based on folklore, etc.) where someone's been cursed with eternal hunger. The pain and drive consumes them, their life revolves around it, higher thought is difficult as they become feral with desperation. Even though it won't kill them — it just means they get to suffer without end. It's one of the worse curses I can imagine, something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Astarion talks a lot about the sun. He deeply enjoys it, and is driven by a fear of being confined to the shadows again. But he does mention hunger a few times. I think less so because the tadpole didn't free him from it — it's still such a ubiquitous thing for him, a pain that's the nature of existing.

I found out earlier this year that digestive inflammation can feel like insatiable gnawing hunger. It's commonly caused by gluten (also dairy, but I'm already vegan) so I decided to try cutting that out, and, yeah... It's been almost a year, and for the first time in my life I don't feel like I'm constantly starving. When I'm hungry, I make a meal, and I don't feel hungry anymore.

After my mom cut out a lot of major foods after finding out she had sensitivities, I said there were some things that if I found out it was causing existing symptoms (as someone with chronic pain, etc.) I still wouldn't cut it out entirely. Gluten was definitely one of those things. But that's because I never imagined not feeling hungry was on the table. It was just an inseparable part of being alive for me. When I found out it was optional, and had actual success, it completely flipped my life upside down.

The experiences are so far from each other, it's hard for most people to grasp the impact constant hunger has on a person (but people have difficulty understanding what it's like to live with chronic pain in general. It wears you down — physically, emotionally. It's exhausting, and you might not even realise how low your normal is, just that it's such a struggle to function like other people).

I think it's easy to not really realise the weight of hunger Astarion experiences — I'm not sure how much he even realises, himself — but the very first thing he says when he ascends is:

"I... I can't feel it. That ache in my stomach, that hunger — it's gone."

and he seems completely baffled by that revelation.

Note: this is immediately followed by "I'm free. I'm finally free!" Which, he's free of a lot of things now, but how it's placed with the previous line really lends weight to it.

When I think about all the ways he could experience the sun without ascending, and I'm in the head of a character who doesn't share my experiences with hunger — assuming a good leaning character who's focused on all the people who'll be sacrificed — choosing to not ascend him is a fairly easy, obvious choice. But when understanding the hunger Astarion experiences — and all the spawn that'll still experience it even if you free them so they can finally feed — I think even a good character could end up helping him ascend.

[princeresnikov]

it's in my nature {Tangerine} // 2

two. tangerine: retroactively fucking yourself.

Chapter Summary: Lemon and Tangerine face Schrodinger's Threat when they can't figure out if 1) The Scorpion is on the train with them, and 2) if she's a threat to them or to The Son. When investigating, however, Tangerine finds who he assumes to be the Wrong Clementine, who is much more alive than when they'd last spoken.

{ Masterlist }

A/N: 4709 words. This might be a rambling nightmare. hello to all my lovely new tagged friends, and all the people reading this too! i love you all very much already, and finally thought to turn on my asks (and anons) because i didn't realise my tumblr mobile fucked up and left them off, SO NOW THEY'RE ON AND I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU GUYS AND HEAR ANY FEEDBACK !! i finished this at 6am so there might be a bit of a quality drop off, but i would love if i could get feedback on how the characterisation is going?? maybe i just need some sleep but i think tang might be a bit ooc?? hm not sure. HAVE FUN I LOVE YOU

Warnings: Don't be surprised when the OC is a terrible person and is implied to have done terrible things along with the rest of them. There will be smut in the future chapters.

Chapter Warnings: Discussions of death and violence.

Taglist: @venusthepirate @malar-region @tangerinesgf @esmaada @sarcastic-sourwolf @djjskfkskjf @eefjedegraaf @justshutupmars @somikesoc @chachadelight @andydre4m @evangelineflowers @darkchai @basementsoup @bellatrix124 @kunikidaswhore @thewinterschildren178 @felhomaly @perksofbeingamultifandomm @aniglio18

[ always open, just message or comment! ]

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There is not enough money in the world to make rescuing this pain in the ass worth it, Tangerine thinks to himself ruefully, the only real value is his life in all of this, not willing to throw himself on a sword in front of The White Death because he couldn't cope with his asshole Son. Lemon makes it marginally more bearable. Marginally. Only because if he's off on a tangent about Thomas and Friends, The Son isn't talking at all. Fucking microbial miracles at this point, but he'll still take them.

"You're not even listening to me," Lemon's expression deadpans, train-adorned sticker sheet still in one hand.

"Can't imagine why," Tangerine offers dryly, almost on instinct, the banter between them as easy as breathing. Lemon sours, but tucks the sticker sheet back into one of his inside pockets. Thomas & Friends safe and sound next to someone else's blood stain, he must have missed that episode as a kid.

The Son is still looking at the door.

Maybe he's planning an escape, is Tangerine's first thought, but the kid's uncharacteristic rigidity doesn't exactly scream confidence, or even a desire to get closer to whatever's caught his attention so dramatically.

That's probably not a good sign.

"What's wrong with you?" Finally Tangerine breaks the silence and tries to follow The Son's gaze, "look like you've seen a ghost or something." The door, and the window to the other side, look exactly as barren and nondescript as every other door in the room, but still this guy is transfixed.

"Big fan of doors, are you?" Lemon glances over his shoulder too now. At first sarcastic, he does follow it up with, "the Shinkansen's interior really is quite sleek, I'll give it that."

A nerve in Tangerine's cheek twitches.

Thankfully, the way The Son's mouth began to mimic a gasping fish, opening and closing for several long seconds without ever making a noise quelled their impending squabble. Very suddenly his mouth closes and he's glancing suspiciously between the Twins; that's almost definitely a worse sign.

"Penny for your fuckin' thoughts?" Tangerine's lip curled derisively, leaning into The Son's space. Not enough money in the world, he again thinks when The Son just blinks, deliberately being obstinate despite Tangerine's intensity.

"It's probably nothing," the kid fucking shrugs like it isn't a big deal. There's something in his voice, however, like he doesn't quite believe that.

"Not according to the look in your eyes just a second ago," Lemon, just as unconvinced as Tangerine, doesn't let him out of it that easily. The Son starts to buckle under both their scrutiny, clinging to his nonchalant act as he looks instead to the window.

"It wouldn't make sense for it to be who I thought it was," he mutters tersely.

"And who exactly did you think it was?" Tangerine asks. The Son's glances at him out of the corner of his eye for just a moment, then to Lemon, and finally to the door.

"She has a lot of names," finally, he relents, looking back to the window, "she works for my father," then, quieter, almost as if sulking, "it's not her."

"And why," Tangerine, voice venomously low as he remains unconvinced, flowers at The Son's desperate attempts to not look at him, "would it be a problem if it was her?" This time The Son bites back, turns and meets Tangerine's gaze and energy with malicious ease.

"Because it means my father set you up to fail."

Silence; The Son is all barred teeth, fear and fury, and Tangerine feels his own anger rise at the implication.

"She'd be here to kill you, is that what you're saying?" Lemon interjects for clarification, far more level than Tangerine, as, it would seem, he always is. It does, thankfully, steal some of The Son's intensity. This time when he sits back, Tangerine does too; he watches the door through wary eyes. There's a flash of blonde hair, a glimpse of a woman on the phone in the luggage space between cars, but she seems to not be paying their car any attention. The Son, Tangerine reasons, has every right to be paranoid, but his apparent lack of faith in The Twins was grating.

"If she is acting alone, perhaps," he deliberates for a long moment, tipping his head to the side as he looks them both over, almost like he was evaluating them; Tangerine fights the urge to scowl, "but both of you should be cautious if she's here on my father's orders."

"She'll try and kill us?" Lemon frowns, sounding exactly as sceptical as Tangerine felt. The Son gives very deliberate pause in the face of that question, silence thick with implications unspoken; it's 'will' not 'try', but he won't say that out loud. Instead, he gives a small huff.

"If it is her."

"So it'd be best for all of us if it wasn't," Lemon nodded as he processed the information. Then, after a long beat, "You gonna give us anything more to go on anyways? A name, if we'd know her? You know, in case we do have to save your life again."

Even annoyed, Tangerine knows he should be tuning into this conversation. The Son shifts a little in his seat, glancing furtively between them both once more, brow furrowing. His sudden hesitance did him no favours in Tangerine's eyes.

"What? You don't remember her name?"

"I feel sick with irony," The Son answers through his teeth, meeting Tangerine's hard glare, "I call her Clementine."

"Don't." Immediately Lemon turns on Tangerine, even reaches out and snaps his fingers in his face, as if to keep him from going on a mental tangent.

"You put your fingers that close to my face again, you'll bloody well lose them," Tangerine snaps, smacking his hand away fervently as he played dumb and offended, like his mind hasn't already fixated on the last Clementine they'd met.

"Just keep your head in the job, man."

"Keep my head in the fuckin' job? Where else would it be?"

"New York," Lemon says like it's the easiest thing in the world; Tangerine's nose scrunches up, "you went there, I saw it in your eyes." Lemon is earnest, as if it's simply an uncomfortable truth he's learned to endure, like flies in the desert, or sweat in the Summer. Tangerine, irate but conflicted across the small table, has to bite his tongue and figure a way to play it off, like her name hasn't just run through his mind again. 

She had been smiling, and then, very suddenly she wasn't.

"It's called word association, Lemon," Tangerine's gambit is a weak one, but at least it's consistent with a lot of the other bullshit he knows he's prone to saying, "pretty sure every human does it, and last I checked it's not a crime." 

"'s unnerving," Lemon tells him bluntly. 

"Good, I think more people should be unnerved by me." 

"No, 's unnerving that you rediscover the concept of guilt every time you're reminded of that concierge," unimpressed, Lemon mirrors him, arms crossed, seemingly about two seconds away from outright rolling his eyes, "it was months ago, man." 

"My father hired a pair of fucking idiots," The Son sighed, slouching almost painfully against the window, the arrogant notes in his tone leaving a sour taste in the back of Tangerine's throat.

"If that's the case, which it's not," Tangerine can't help himself, the irritation reads on his face, but he doesn't care, "given the situation I think that says more about what daddy dearest thinks of you." The glare he receives from The Son is particularly petulant; he'll take it as a victory. 

"And guilt, Lemon?" Tangerine finally gets back to his brother and his the character assassination he'd endured, "that's worse than fuckin' swearing at me. That's slander, that is; defamation. If I cared about collateral damage, I wouldn't find job satisfaction in our line of work," he turns to The Son, even going so far as to jab the kid with his finger for emphasis, "I'm bloody fucking good at my job, okay? And so is Lemon. Sometimes too effective, sure, but no fruity, little brat is killing you; your dad hired us for a fuckin' reason, you hear me?"

His words hang, pinned by the severity with which they'd been spoken, and it even takes a few moments for Tangerine to comprehend what he'd just said. The Son retreats into his seat, though it seems to be less out of any sort of fear, and more like a distaste for Tangerine's whole attitude. Dick. Not like Tangerine gives a shit about his opinion anyways.

"Fruity, little brat?" Lemon, however, is bad at hiding his obvious amusement, immediately taking the sting out of Tangerine's rant. A smirk tugs at his lips, "and if it isn't guilt, what is it then?"

"It's not guilt," Tangerine answers possibly a little too sharply.

"Okay sure, then what is it?"

"What's it even matter to you?"

"Maybe it can be medicated, maybe it can be stopped; it makes you all weird -"

"Weird?!"

"For like half an hour," Lemon insists, "and defensive!" He gestures emphatically to Tangerine, who narrows his eyes, lips pressed to a thin, frustrated line. He knows Lemon's right, and that's the worst bit, that he's sitting here, defensive as he ever gets, arms crossed so tight it's probably going to crease his damn suit jacket, and anything he says will just keep proving Lemon's point. The smug look in his brother's eyes is very nearly smackable, at least if there wasn't more important things to focus on.

"Does she go by anything else?" It's Tangerine who breaks the moment, looking to The Son. The kid is confused by the tonal whiplash, while Tangerine fights to roll his eyes, "the girl who might be here to kill you, her name's Clementine, right? Does she -"

"It's not her name," The Son seems almost confused by the assumption, "I call her Clementine but that's not her name."

"So what is her name?" Seriously, it's like pulling teeth with this kid, Tangerine's already frayed patience is wearing dangerously thin. Especially when The Son can't seem to answer, "how do you even know this girl if you don't know her name?" Again, silence. The heir apparent is conflicted, shame and fury manifesting in the way he glared at the table despite how he's flushed and fuming. 

"She shadowed my father, obedient little lap dog," he managed through clenched teeth, lip curled with malice, "I don't know if he made her into a monster or if she always was one," he barks a cruel laugh, "I suppose fuck me for wanting better for her than that." When The Son finally raises his gaze from the table, the look in his eyes is shallow and malevolent; "everyone knows her, my father made sure of that; Clementine - my Clementine -" he spat with disgust, "became The Scorpion because of what that bitch did to me and my family."

Ah, fuck. 

Yes, anyone who is anyone in the underbelly of the world knew of The Scorpion, knew of her burned status and subsequent life-debt to The White Death. Everyone had heard the rumours; the way The Son was behaving seemed to confirm quite a few of them.

Immediately Tangerine looks to Lemon; if there was ever a time to take The Son seriously, this was probably it. God, he hopes it's a case of mistaken identity. This was meant to be the easy part of the contract, it was a bloody train ride for fuck's sake! Now The Son's runaway bride may or may not be here to kill any one of them.

"You think you saw The Scorpion through that window?" Lemon's voice is carefully, painfully calm, pointing over his shoulder. Both brothers are looking at The Son now; it's there in his eyes, he knows they're finally taking him seriously. 

"Like she was looking for something. If it was her, I don't know if she properly recognised me, but I think she did see me." 

"Do you think she knows he's being guarded?" Lemon instead opts to address Tangerine directly, who's checking his clip. The movements are smooth and rote, tension building in his shoulders.

"Depends why she's here," he responds, and glances to the door again, "safest bet is yes, so we should make the first move either way." If their possible assailant already scoped out the full situation and has any idea of who either of the Twins are, then they're fucked, but there's no sense in waiting. "If it's just some look-alike, no harm done, but if it's The Scorpion we might be able to get the drop on her." 

While The Son doesn't exactly seem happy about this turn of events, he is at least mercifully quiet, watching as Tangerine tucks the gun in the holster at the small of his back, fixing his jacket. His sullen gaze catches Tangerine's attention as he slides from his seat, and for a brief moment he leans in, voice dropping to a whisper.

"You have fucking shit taste in women," he admonishes harshly, fury radiating from him despite his quiet words. The only response The Son gives is to flip him off, despite his restrained hands. 

"Seriously though, The Scorpion? You some kind of masochist?" Lemon levels his judgemental gaze at their charge, clearly as baffled by The Son's well known infatuation with the ruthless killer as Tangerine was, while Tangerine himself heads in the direction of the door to the luggage storage between cars three and four. If The Son has any proper answer to give, Tangerine doesn't hear it. 

He has no plan. 

He should have a plan. He wants to have a plan. He had no time for a plan, so now he has to wing it. If it's not The Scorpion then he'll have no issue sweet-talking his way through the misunderstanding. If it is The Scorpion then he will immediately have bigger issues to deal with. He doesn't need a plan then, he reasons, not really. For a moment he focuses on the feeling of the holster at his back, wondering what he could disguise his gun with to passers by if he were to ready it.

It's not a short walk, and by the time he's a the door he's got about 'hey, so sorry love, my friend over there is a bit shy but swears you're the spitting image of -' but there's no way he could have ever prepared for who was on the other side.  

His Clementine shouldn't be here. Half her head is still splattered on that hotel wall behind the reception desk back in New York, at least as far as he's aware. He shouldn't recognise her smile, or her tell-tale, dainty clementine-charm necklace, and he shouldn't, for even a split second, feel glad to see her.

When her eyes light up with recognition, it's the final nail in the coffin. Automatic, instinctive, familiar. Except it only takes half a second for reality to seemingly crash down on her because her face falls, the light leaves her eyes, and she smacks the close door button almost immediately. 

"The fuck is happening?" Sure it's taken him a moment to adapt to this new reality, but at the very least whatever guilt-adjacent feelings he may or may not have been suffering from seem to have cleared up into confusion and distrust. Of course she was able to collect her bearings before him, it's only news to him that she's been alive this entire fucking time! He smacks the open door button with more force than was necessary. It hisses open, as sleek and clean as any other part of the train.

Instinctively he feels as though she's going to give chase, to try and escape explaining herself and he'll have to chase her through the goddamn train for any kind of answer. The only relief in that moment is that it's the wrong Clementine, which means neither he, nor his brother or their charge are in immediate danger. 

"Small world," it's that faint Brooklyn accent he'd grown so used to, surprising him as Clementine is waiting by the vanity area between carriages, across from the luggage. It's disarmingly fond, the way she's smiling at him with her head just slightly tilted, almost as if his confusion amuses her. She's blonde now, but it suits whatever looks she was going for here, pristine collar is slightly askew; clearly she'd tucked her necklace beneath in the brief moment she was given, not that he knows why she'd even bother. Her gaze flicks to the door in this momentary stalemate, watching it close as Tangerine finally finds his voice.

"Either I'm going mad, or you better start explaining who the fuck you are," his heart is beating in his ears - what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck -

"Not mad," she assures. Each word is as carefully chosen as the last, everything she said so considered; this is familiar too. She tips her head to the other side. Something subtle changes about the way she's looking at him but he can't begin to comprehend what, "it hasn't been that long has it?" 

Finally, Tangerine gives himself a moment to breathe. Clementine's smile widens. Everything about this moment feels very wrong, but the shock begins to wear off. 

"Clementine."

"That is what they tend to call me," something about her wording feels uncomfortably deliberate, despite her cheery tone. When she asks him if something's wrong, she calls him by the name he went under in New York. This is the Clementine he knew. This is the Clementine he watched die. 

"I can think of several things that are wrong," standing a little straighter now, Tangerine takes a step forward, now taking up most of the arched entrance to the tiny vanity area. He sees the way Clementine's eyes move, darting all around him, assessing the situation, probing for exits and finding none; it takes barely a second, someone less trained may have thought she was simply checking him out. But the moment isn't a particularly foreign one; he's seen her mind work like this before. How had he never registered it properly before? Her smile hasn't waivered. Alarms are growing louder in the back of his mind, "top of the list; I watched you get shot in the fucking head." 

It feels kind of like sea-sickness or deja vu, but his expression is a mask of anger, keeping his thoughts privately in line.

Clementine steps forwards, steps close in the little space, and raises her hand to push her fringe back. The leather gloves. Her gloves. Never once has he seen her take them off, and even now that remained true.

"Here?" There's something in her eyes that seems almost like a challenge.

Stalemate. Tension so thick it could suffocate a weaker man. Tangerine's gaze slides to the middle of her forehead, where the red, glowing dot had appeared the last time he'd seen her. Clementine's always been covered in scars of every variation; most she took great pains to hide during the day, but there were still some faint and raised on her face, made up and mostly invisible unless she was nose to nose like this. Back in New York, in one of the many moments where it had just been the two of them, she'd laughed as she'd talked candidly about having a 'doomed upbringing', how unlucky she had always been. The scars he knows are all still there, all real and familiar, even the ones that get deeper, more painful to look at, the ones that start near her throat and extend well past her collar. But there is no evidence of the headshot. His frown deepens. Carefully, he reaches out and pokes her with a single finger.

"Yeah, right here; that kind of sight tends to stick with a person," he doubles down, refuses to be gaslit about this. Clementine's reaction is unexpected, however, as her mouth falls open with pleasant surprise.

"You still think about me?" 

It takes Tangerine a long few moments to process that, finally stepping back again and pinching at the bridge of his nose, starting to grow sore from how tense he's been. Clementine, again surprising him, though he has no idea what he should be expecting, doesn't move, doesn't try to run or even leave.

"What is wrong with you that that is your important take away from all this?" It comes out as a frustrated sigh. Clementine seems nevertheless pleased, "I half thought I'd be coming face-to-face with a murderer and yet you've thrown me for more of a loop," Tangerine admits.

"A detective's work never stops," Clementine muses sagely. Tangerine gives pause for a brief moment before, ah, right, that was the cover story in New York. The fact that she remembered makes him feel... something, but in this moment he's not quite sure what, so he just agrees. Then, "you thought there was a murderer on this train?" This too is familiar, the earnest intrigue she had about him and the things that went on in his life. 

"Just a suspicion is all, dead end, thankfully no murderer," not counting Lemon and myself, Tangerine thinks wryly to himself, "train's safe; you're welcome." There's something unreadable in Clementine's expression, taking a moment to process this information. Her smile is strange.

"But you found me." 

"Yeah, instead I found you," Tangerine watches the way Clementine delicately leans against the wall by the vanity, her arms crossed, expression scrunching up for reasons he can't even begin to comprehend, "this is the part where you start explaining yourself, by the way," he adds dryly. Finally, however, he does feel himself start to smile when Clementine does. 

"I wish I had the time," she almost sounds sincere, but something in her tone is colder than just a moment ago. It's starting to feel wrong again. Her necklace is still tucked in, why had she bothered? "Why are you looking at me like that?" 

"Wrong answer, Clementine," he tells her, "I thought you were smarter than to try that -"

"As much as I love you taking that tone, I really do have to keep moving," in any other situation Clementine's teasing would be more than welcome, but now it echoes with a burning familiarity; the evasiveness which he'd once chalked up to strangely rigid professionalism, the attempt to deflect with humour, the clear discomfort when attention was focused solely on her -

"I think you can make time, in fact," there's that anger again, deep in Tangerine's chest as he steps back from her, hooking his left thumb into his belt loop closer to the holster resting at the small of his back, "I think you should." Clementine's gazes flicks down and follows the movement, lips twitching into a thin smile. Then, slowly and deliberately, her gaze slides back up to meet his. Right. She knew about the holster.

"Are you threatening me?" Her voice is so soft, so fucking helpless in that moment. Maybe it's the look in her eyes, or the way her demeanour changes, or the way she fidgets with her gloves, but Tangerine almost regrets taking such a hard stance.

"I'm just asking for an explanation is all," but he refuses to back down, refuses to stop taking up space, refuses to let her squirm her way out of any of this. 

"I don't have time for this," she insists, still soft and demure as a moment ago, "if you're staying on the train for a while I'll come and find you, I'll tell you everything," she insists, "but I'm here as a tutor for a girl I've left in first class, I was asked to fetch her something from this end of the train. I need to get back." 

"No, I think I'll find you," Tangerine finally concedes, "first class, right?" 

"Seventh car." 

"Okay," giving a definitive nod, Tangerine finally feels like he can breathe again. But he can't look at her, "you know what I do for a living, Clementine," she nods through the warning, like a child being reprimanded at school, "I trust you understand why I can't let this sketchy shit go easily."  

"I know. I'm sorry." At least she sounds like she means it. Whether or not Tangerine can really believe it is up for debate right now. She doesn't know the full truth, doesn't know what he really does for a living, what he's capable of... but there's lies on both sides, clearly. Clementine can't meet his gaze either. 

Everything feels wrong and off-centre; he watches her step out from the vanity nook, darting past him through car three's door. Following a few seconds behind, he catches the attention of The Son as Clementine is passing their table in a rush, and thinks little of it, simply shaking his head. By the time he's reached them again, she's already through the other door. 

"Wrong Clementine," he says with a strained smile. When he'd left, Lemon had taken his seat right beside The Son, so Tangerine sits opposite them both by the window. He'd gotten up with no plan of how to explain himself, and he sits down with the same dilemma, opting to be direct.

"Wrong Clementine?" Lemon frowns, while The Son seems bewildered. Both remain on edge, but given the circumstances Tangerine doesn't blame them.

"Twisted little case of mistaken identity; the aforementioned New York based Clementine is not only alive and well, but on this train," settling back, Tangerine can feel his gun still sitting firm against his back, secure, but thankfully unneeded. He meets their confusion with an unsettling serenity, as if fully aware and at peace with the ridiculousness of the situation he was presenting.

"Same Clementine whose head was partially blown out in front of us several months ago?" Lemon's scepticism is still warranted.

"As I'm lead to believe."

"Is this a bit? Are you doing a bit because of what I said earlier?"

"Does it seem like a bit?"

"Seems like you're having me on."

"She's a tutor now," Tangerine says like this is the most normal conversation in the world, "travelling first class, can you believe it?" When he glances to the doors ahead, this time between second and third, he sometimes catches glimpses of what he's pretty sure is Clementine moving around there.

"I actually can't," which is a fair response from Lemon, given the situation, drawing Tangerine's attention back, "how is she even alive?" 

"Didn't have time to explain, gonna head up there in a bit to talk-"

"Of course you let her talk her way out of it," when Lemon rolls his eyes Tangerine copies the gesture, both equally exasperated with the other. 

"No Scorpion?" The Son asks carefully; Tangerine's smile doesn't reach his eyes, tired of being undermined in this conversation. 

He confirms as much to The Son, and his attention is caught when Clementine, now looking far more frustrated, steps out of the between-car luggage storage. In the aisle for car three, she walks far slower, picking and fidgeting with her gloves. All the while she's glancing over, searching the other passengers with her eyes. Every so often her gaze flicks to Tangerine and she quickly looks away. Finally, however, she's just a few steps away from Lemon, behind him in the aisle, still fidgeting with her gloves. Despite Tangerine looking directly at her, she won't look to him, instead scrutinising the back of The Son's head. Eventually Lemon follows Tangerine's confused frown, as does The Son. 

Immediately Clementine scowls.

"Our Clementines are the same person," The Son glowered under his breath, low enough so that only the Twins even caught it. But it changes everything. 

At the end of their table she stands, poised with tension. One by one she looks at each of them, breaking first from her standoff with The Son, looking to Lemon, whose own expression appeared to grow neutral as this new reality sunk in for him. Finally, Tangerine. Everything about his expression was stern, which Clementine met in kind. Inside, his perception of her had shattered, leaving room for the furious distrust to grow vines through his memories. 

"Clementine."

As in 'tell me this isn't true, that this is the world's least funny bit, that there's some other explanation; alien intervention would be preferrable, just tell me I didn't sleep with The Scorpion'. It's all he can say. 

"Tangerine."

A name he'd never told her. An answer in itself.

[missr3n3]

Ctda is so fun I love it.. is there any details/ hcs you have about the characters you wanna share?

sorry for taking so long to respond, but you've activated my trap card and i needed to be at my computer so i could write this essay of a response lol

im gonna do one for each character:

jonah: though he used be be more into psychedelics as a teenager, ever since the events of vol. 2 and cdta he's entirely stopped using them. there's just to much fuel for a potential bad trip. he's also stopped drinking (though he was never did it that often in the first place) and doesn't smoke weed as often bc sarah and evelin don't want him stinking up their apartment.

adam: his black hoodie (not the BPS one) has become a comfort item for him. because he didn't have it on while he was in the Nightmare Sand Pit and was at his most vulnerable, he associates not wearing it with being in danger. since he's wearing it basically all the time though, it's gotten really worse for wear and has quite a few holes in it, which jonah helpfully fixed with various patches (you'll see them when i drop the 2011 cdta designs lol)

thatcher: since he's now a certified Old Ass Man (in his early 50s), he's fully stopped trying to look profession or trendy and has gone back to his old grunge fashion sense from the 90s. luckily, most people think this is cool af, and in particular it entertains some of the kids that ride his bus route bc they think he's an old Kurt Cobain lol

evelin: i kind of alluded to this in clear the stone chapter 3, but she and jonah didn't get along at first because she's very straight edge and he's very not. since their re-introduction in clear the stone and the events of cdta, she's a bit more understanding of his drug use (though still not entirely comfortable with it). nowadays she considers jonah to be just as close a friend to her as sarah <3

sarah: mandela getting blown tf up has actually significantly helped her with regards to moving on from her brother's death. though she can't quite put her finger on why, she as a general sense that his soul is at peace now. as a result, she intends to rebrand BPS from a paranormal investigation group to more of a horror webseries thing. she even renames the youtube channel to the bythorne paranormal show!

alt!gabriel: as far as the cdta timeline goes, he created the alternates for the sole purpose of furthering his takeover plan. alternates in this story are straight-up demons as a result, and this might come into play in an interesting way in the sequel... 👀

six: so i've mentioned before that he's an entirely separate alien in the cdta timeline that started working with alt!gabriel as a means to an end since they have similar goals (also dropped in dms that this happened in the 1920s). the reason for this is that his species feeds on pain, and alternates are really good at causing a lot of mental and sometimes physical pain. though with the alternates gone and type 6s doing a shit job at killing humans, his kind are now looking into other avenues for a food supply :)

sam: if he were voiced, i imagine he'd sound like steven as he sounds in steven universe future. pretty nerdy but with a little bit of rasp to it and a hint of theater kid lol. also! he's 6'4 and is the tallest human in cdta!

delilah: before her reversion (official temporal phenomena term for the changes type 6s went through), her alternate instincts would mainly come out in her being an obnoxious know-it-all. the type to "well AKSHUALLY 🤓" everyone around her over the slightest inaccuracies. also never admitting when she was wrong and assuming the people calling her out were just too stupid to understand her genius. basically what i'm saying is she would've love rick and morty before the reversion lol

and as a special bonus:

joel: he actually started mystifying oracle to try and prove that the paranormal didn't exist, but when he realized how many views he was getting from believers, he pivoted to over-the-top shows of the effects of the ouija board. of course it also helps that he has an actual demon in his house lol.

chloe: she met joel in college! they're both studying film, and thus shared a lot of the same classes together. joel ended up dropping out once youtube started making money for him, but they'll still meet up from time to time, especially if there's a new horror movie they want to see!

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

I absolutely love your Brothers keepers I am rotating it in my mind so here's some ramblings that hold me hostage :)

So in the new update, Hunter is learning all about wild magic so he can "understand" what's going on with his dad, right?. Would he go as far as asking Eda when he starts to be more comfortable there? And would he, by any chance, use that knowledge that he learns in wild magic against his uncle once he finds out just what he's done to his father?

I can't imagine his uncle allows too many books around that let you learn wild magic around. How many books has he gone through? I'm sure it's enough to get so frustrated with it that it fuels his anger towards wild magic even more. Maybe at the end of season one, when Eda gets captured, he finds some time to sneak off to her and demands that she tells him about wild magic.

Oh what if when he goes into his uncles mind, he sees more memories, maybe some echoing conversations with Tera, maybe the collector mentions something, or maybe Hunter finally learns the truth when the memory shifts to his father. What conversation would that be? Maybe it would begin with Caleb asking about the "surprises" in his food, or him asking things that Hunter assumes are just the effects wild magic has on his mind. But he and Luz realize he's very lucid during most of these moments. He starts talking about Eda, about other things he couldn't possibly know about.

Maybe they get to the hallway of all the past Golden Guards, but the paintings on the walls are just a bit different. They all die the same way, but all the backgrounds have the same familiar face, as Caleb reaches out to his family, his sons, in terror and in pain (what happens to the source of a grimwalker when they die? Does Caleb feel excruciating pain when the Golden Guards die? Or does he feel no pain, just an empty feeling, like you've lost a piece of yourself, while he mourns the loss of another son?)

What if the palisman amalgamation leads them away from the inner self to memories Belos wouldn't want them seeing. To memories Belos has no idea they've seen.

What if they get to the final memory they see: the first time Caleb was introduced to Hunter. Maybe as an infant, maybe when he's a toddler, a young child, or however old grimwalkers are when they are born. Hunter sees the love his father has for him, yet there's a sadness in his eyes. Philip says something about doing more than "taking the child away" if Caleb misbehaves. Maybe the Golden Guards are the only reasons he even eats anymore. They move to the table to eat dinner, and Caleb still asks about the food ("Why does he ask about food, Hunter?" "I dont know, I thought it was the effects wild magic had on his mind") and maybe tonight's dinner was a bit stronger than usual. He doesn't even make it to his bed before the effects of Tera's ingredients take hold. The first night he's met his son, only for Hunter to learn early that something bad happened to his father. Then, time shifts to the garden, to Tera, to her retelling the effects her meals had on him, that it's a "good idea to strike fear into the boy early."

Then they finally confront Belos and Hunter is pissed. He doesn't completely understand, not fully, what his uncle is doing to his father, but something within him knows it never was wild magic. Maybe they realize Belos doesn't know what they saw, when he tells them Hunter is a grimwalker over telling them more about Caleb. They still fight, and they still run. Only now Hunter's is even worse when they return to the Owl House. He's scared, scared for his father, scared for himself, and he doesn't know what to do. He runs and hides in the forest for a while, calms down while he thinks. He realized wild magic didnt harm his father, his uncle did. He doesn't run to Hexside. He returns to the Owl House. Because if wild magic didn't break his family, he's gonna use it to fix it. And lucky him, he knows the most powerful wild magic user and biggest pain in Belos's side will 100% help him to bring his uncle down and his father home.

Whew that went on more than I thought it would. You au has trapped me and it's all I can think about now. I still have more thoughts on this and i wish I had the time to write a fic about this. I thought it would be fun to just speculate the possibilities for a way this au could go and I can't wait to see what happens in future updates!!

Ah, the turntables! Can't believe you're coming on here, my blog of angsty au bs and making me Feel Things

My friend, I know you said you don't have time to write a fic right now, but know that if you ever do I would eat that thing right up, this was so fun to read!

[chloe-caulfield94]

Chloe's request for assisted suicide

Chloe's request to be put out of her misery in Episode 4 is the only decision in Season 1 I spent a considerable amount of time agonizing over before I chose. I'm not saying that the other choices Max faced during that crazy week in October of 2013 didn't hold much gravity, because of course they did, but in all other cases I quickly had a pretty clear picture of what I would do, and more importantly, what Max would do.

Ultimately, I decided not to honour Chloe's request and I repeated that decision in all subsequent playthroughs.

I'm not ideologically opposed to medically assisted suicide. While I personally am extremely lucky to enjoy perfect health, I realize that sometimes a person's illness may cause them so much physical pain that their existence becomes unbearable and is worse than not existing.

Everything seems to encourage Max to grant Chloe's last wish. Chloe's condition is terminal. Her family is being crushed by debt. She clearly says that she wants to go out on her own terms.

But I couldn't escape the feeling that Chloe's pain was more emotional than physical in nature. How happy she was to have spent one day with her best friend. Wasn't her feeling of hopelessness, which made her wish for death, a product of being abandoned, at least in part? Wouldn't she be more willing to stay for whatever time she had left if she had someone to share that time with?

Overdosing Chloe felt like an extremely cheap way out for Alternative Max. Just one day with Chloe and that's it? It's not entirely clear if that timeline stopped existing when Max undid her rescue of William. When I played the game my understanding was that there is only one timeline, which can be modified by changing the past. But the LiS comics introduced the notion that all the timelines exist simultaneously. So after our Max went back to the main timeline, the timeline where William lived persisted somewhere out there. Assuming that Alternative Max would retain our Max's feelings for Chloe, wouldn't it be better if she spent whatever time Chloe had left with her? Making her lot in life more bearable? Showing her that there's at least a little bit of hope? Spending many more days with her like the one she spent with her on the beach and watching movies? Maybe after more days like that Chloe would stop wishing for death?

We don't know how long Alternative Chloe had left. Maybe a few years? Maybe a few months? But however long or short period of time that would be, I feel it would be wrong to say that there couldn't be any moments of joy, happiness and love in it. I think that Alternative Chloe's request was predicated on her not believing that Max would want to spend any more time with her. If Max refuses to overdose her, she says "You're just bailing on me, like everyone else". Alternative Chloe is so used to being neglected that she instinctively assumes that Max popped back into her life just for a minute. But what if she stayed for a while longer? After refusing to honour Chloe's request, Max says "I am never leaving you again". I'd like to think that this was not only a promise from our Max to our Chloe, but also a promise from Alternative Max to Alternative Chloe. A promise to stay with her and make her days a little less dark.

I don't know and I can't imagine how it is to live with a terminal illness. I don't know and I can't imagine how it is to be paralysed from the neck down. But the notion that the only thing a terminally ill, paralysed person can wish for is the embrace of death felt deeply wrong to me.

Chloe rationalized her decision by saying this is to spare her parents from suffering. But both William and Joyce are adamant to fight for their daughter till the very end. I don't think she gets to decide for them. I recently watched a great movie, "Words on Bathroom Walls". It's about a highschool boy who is diagnosed with schizophrenia. He hides his condition from his girlfriend and when it's no longer possible to hide, he breaks up with her, because he doesn't want her to suffer due to his illness. He assumes she would not want to be with a sick boy. When she finds out why he broke up with her, she's angry. Because it was not his decision to make. She should be the one to decide if she wants to be with him and support him in his illness. And she chooses to be with him, despite knowing that it will not always be easy. I think it's William's and Joyce's decision if they want to share the burden that was so unfairly thrusted upon Chloe. And they decided to share it.

As an aside note, Max sleeping with her head on Alternative Chloe's knees is such a moving picture. It's both cute and sad.

I'm curious, what was your decision and if you don't mind sharing, what swayed you one way or another?

[momo-de-avis]

Be warned that this post is going to be extremely TMI, scroll along if you don't want it to ruin your parasocial relationship with me

They scheduled me an MRI back in September

The appointment is named like MRI followed by a bunch of medical terms that I, of course, don't understand.

The lady that scheduled it for me did not explain what it was.

My doctor did not explain to me what it was.

Nobody explained anything.

I've had an MRI before, two in fact, one done to my head and one with contrast when I was in the emergency ward of the hospital screaming in pain, so this second time I wasn't really paying attention to what the fuck an MRI entails except that you're put in a gigantic washing mashine thay sucks metal and makes a lot of noise (and the metal thing I know from Dr House)

So imagine my surprise when I arrive at the hospital and the receptionist asks me if took all the precautions required. I'm like. What now?

She goes. Oh, the medication you need to take beforehand.

I'm stuttering. what the fuck do you mean.

I scroll furiously through my email trying to find the appointment and hey. Guess what. It does say there that there's this one medication I have to take, which requires some physical interaction, and that I need to be on an empty stomach 4h prior. It doesn't say where I'm supposed to get this medication, nor does it say how to take it, cause I have no idea (in the smallest letters imaginable, at the bottom of everything, like scroll endlessly for it). I've never taken this shit

Mind you, the lady that made this appointment also made 5 other apps that day: an x ray, blood tests, an EKG, urine tests, and two other apps with an anesthesiologist and my gynecologist. Yes this was all for a surgery I'm going under in January. She also explained to me what to expect of the surgery, how to bathe myself 24h prior, what to expect of every single exam except the MRI.

So here's what she, or my doctor, failed to explain to me about this MRI, I am assuming because they assumed I'd done one and it's basically the same. Which stupidly, is what I thought.

She failed to explain to me that the medication I needed to take the morning of was for me NOT to, and now I'm going to translate into colloquial terms what the kind doctor explained to me, shit myself. And why would you shir yourself in a machine that sucks metal, spins and sounds like one of those horror ARGs on YouTube? Because she also failed to explain to me that, since this is an MRI to evaluate my endometriosis, they are going to fill your every single orifice up with a fucking gel.

And let me tell you something about this process.

It's not painful at all. But my god I felt like one of those victorians who went to those doctors who didn't wash their hands to cure themselves of a flu with an enema. It is like reverse giving birth, if you're giving birth to Flubber. The female doctor that did this, and I appreciate the tact of having a female doctor but at this point how could I give a shit, it can't get any worse than this, was one of those that only speaks in diminutives and kept calling me fofinha the entire time, which I get, but I'm a 34 year old woman being flooded with get through every cavity of my body terrified I'm gonna shit myself in the tightest MRI machine I've ever seen because the purpose of this shit is to "relax your sphincter and swell your intestines" which sounds like I just developed IBS from one doctor's visit, and it really makes things awkward.

And then they tell me the catheter they put on me is not only to inject whatever the fuck they need, but also I might need some contrast too.

The contrast was the least of my issues. I didn't even feel it

Here's what else the lady failed to explain to me. She failed to explain that, since you're now full of some gel, it is going to come out. And oh boy.

Imagine the hospital gives you the shittiest sanitary pad imaginable, and what happens in the next hour you're on public transport heading home is basically you're giving birth to Flubber again. The thing isn't even sliding down your legs, it's all retained in the shitty diaper the hospital provided you.

"It's only an MRI" and you walk out with clots of gel in your underwear, slopping down your orifices, and this in your arm

Next time I'm drilling that bitch with questions

[g-on-ef]

Omg 👁️👄👁️ hell nah 🤯🤯🤯 like I just saw the asks and that's crazy... Like bran going missing for a whole year 🥺🥺🥺 that's gonna put so much of emotional stress on everyone especially lan and I can already see bran having a severe mental breakdown because of that ( maybe worse than lia's) like not seeing any of his family will put one into depression ( like he is already depressed to the point of cutting himself) damn I just know now how much angsty it will get.

And I agree with you, we didn't get to see much bonding among the king siblings and cousins like yeah we know that they are close but it would have been better if we would have gotten to read about that too.

And I know the reunion between the brothers will be so good too . I am now more curious to see who finds Bran first. Now I am just praying for niko so that he can survive.

I can already see protective Levi, but are we also gonna see protective Johnathan and Aiden? In the book Aiden really did threaten niko

I am just so excited for the next chapters of to kidnap a lotus flower

As for born sinner damn that stalker is so crazy man, like to use bran's vulnerability to get to him. If he can go that far then I can't imagine what that stalker will do. I hope niko and lan team up again to save bran.

Also I can't wait to read the mafia arc and the kidnapping arc in the heart was build to break. I am so excited to see how niko will react about the bruises and learning about bran's past on why he harms himself. I also wanna see what actually triggers niko to take bran away and as I can assume here also bran goes missing for a long period of time. I can't wait to read more of this

Also I am excited for your other fics too

Oh honey Bran is gonna be a mess !!! Especially after seeing his brother being beaten down and the state Creighton was in poor baby is gonna have the worst case scenarios with Remi he's gonna be a hot mess.

Be prepared for the water works Bran is gonna have a severe case of depression and he and Niko are gonna be in for one emotional roller coaster that is gonna take a long while to heal especially with Bran and his cutting.

The Kings relationship is gonna play a huge role especially Glyn and Lan I wanna heal this relationship and make it better and I want them both to realize they fucked up Glyn with her willing to understand Kill but not Lan and Lan never giving Glyn a reason that he loved her or even cared about her

Jonathan is gonna be the biggest mess ever !!! Chapter 3 is gonna show how much Bran means to Jonathan but he's also gonna hate himself the most because he can't do anything {I'm so excited for yall to read why he can't and your reactions to it ^^}

Aiden is gonna have PTSD and flashbacks on the time he was kidnapped and left wondering if something bad is happening to his innocent nephew hell the poor man is gonna be a mess when he sees his son and the pain he's in

Niko will survive but will he try kidnapping Bran again after they come back since its gonna be a shit show ... ... ... hmmm 👀

But yes once Lan and Bran are reunited they are gonna be inseparable more on Lans part than Bran ^^

The stalker is gonna be a huge pain and yall are gonna how far he'll go no one is safe not even the girls {spoilers one of the girls ends up badly hurt to the point she ends up in a comoa because bran did something he did not approve of}

That stalker is not one to mess with and niko and lan are about to see the extent this crazy fucker will go ^^

Trust me no one is more excited for this arc than me I can't wait for yall to see the Mafia arc especially when Bran finds out omg I'm not gonna say anything else because I don't wanna spoil it ^^

Can't wait for yall to read the rest of these stories and see your reactions ^^

[etherealsign282]

Funny kinda story of when my ex abuser pulled a neurotypical on me.

She found this song about dealing with the pain of learning to let someone go who does nothing but take, and not surrendering to them and blah blah blah, that she felt was soooo relatable, because she was convinced that all of her snide remarks, stonewalling, refusing to communicate, and weaponizing minor incidents/normal behaviors that she simply didn't like (like sleeping) to actively do bad things to punish us, and us, after fighting so hard to fix these things and not being good enough because doing the opposite (exactly what she wanted) caused her to be angry too, slowly not caring about all these pathetic gripes about how we need to be inhuman- when she refused to fix or change literally anything without kicking and screaming, replacing it with something worse, calling herself a toddler, or "reminding us" that she was too mentally ill to fix her behaviors (aka using excuses)- was all a case of her fighting to keep the relationship going and us not giving a fuck and taking advantage of her, and her learning to "let me go". So this brilliant person, who was already in delulu land about being the victim in the relationship, decided to just come up to me one day and go "idk why I really feel invested in this song and am obsessed with it, I think I need to share it with my therapist uwu 🥺"

And I, an autistic person who doesn't get subtle hints like this, was like "oh yeah that song goes hard. I've been listening to x thing". And it was at the time probably the same genre and concept because back then I wasn't allowed to like any music that wasn't self deprecating victim complex metal bullshit or else she would mock it and act like the superior emo (unless it was her, in which case hello 3-4 hours nonstop of American Pie). And I'm assuming this gave her the impression that I was competing with her on whether I was the "victim" or she was, and not actually "listening" to her sad little existence, so she pouted and gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the day.

And I didn't connect two and two until after we broke up and I randomly found the song again and focused on the lyrics, with fresh eyes of realizing that she literally thought she was some sort of suffering martyr the entire time.

Imagine making your whole personality some pretense mental health/neurodivergent advocate because it's helpful to act like that so as to take advantage of it and not take responsibility for anything in your life (except quitting cigarettes, apparently) but you can't even handle someone actually being autistic, and especially when we had talked about how I don't get hints like that multiple times because my parents did the same shit 💀💀 all i did was exist and I lived rent free in her head as some sort of specific villain that she had to vanquish, meanwhile I'm like "song good"