#so sorry for going on such a sappy ramble so late but i literally feel so emotional. and like. proud? of them

[thekidsarentalright]

literally cannot stop thinking about how pavlove getting put on spotify is so much more than just like a fun, cool thing that’s been a long time coming as a fan. it very much is that, but it also is symbolically so important? like, this is a song that was a bonus track on an album fob felt like they had to ignore and shy away from for nearly 15 years. this was a song that they probably never intended to play live (like much of folie) or release on streaming- until they started seeing just how much fans wanted it. until patrick mentioned wanting to play headfirst slide, and they saw that fans actually wanted that and so they did. and then they kept playing folie songs for the 8 ball songs, pavlove included. and the response to those folie 8 balls was overwhelmingly positive and full of love and encouragement. until fob saw how loved they and folie and pavlove truly are by fob fans now, to the point where they were able to heal from the fear of unhappy fans and a negative response to music they were truly proud of. to the point where they released pavlove on streaming. the thing about fall out boy is that they genuinely love and care about their fans, they show us the love we show them and i sincerely believe this is one of the finest examples of that

[tortoisebore]

OKAY SO FOR MY RAMBLE REQUEST i wanna know the losers’ love language

YES YES YES

this one got SO long & sappy im so so sorry gfjgnfjkgnjfkn

first i think growing up in a situation of neglect and abuse would have made it difficult for sirius to understand what it meant to intentionally give and receive love, and he'd genuinely have no idea what to do with overly affectionate people (like james!!!) for a long time. but once he got out of that home situation and had some time to process and start heal from it, i think he'd be extremely affectionate with the people he loves.

physical touch would be the biggest one--once he was able to understand that touch could be something gentle and precious, it became the easiest way to show people that he loved them. he was hesitant with it for a while because he was afraid that other people might be uncomfortable with it like he had been, but that turned into him having a super sharp eye when it came to understanding peoples' comfort levels with different kinds of affection without them needing to say it.

so by the time he & remus get together he understands himself a lot better in that regard. if you would have asked before, he would have said his only real love language was physical touch because it was his first instinct & what he had experience with, but he didn't really need things like gifts or acts of service to feel loved. like, he got quite enough of that growing up between all the extravagant birthday gifts he never wanted and the home staff waiting on him hand and foot his whole childhood & thinks he could probably go his entire life without experiencing either of those things ever again.

but then he starts seeing remus and everything turns upside down. on their third date remus brings him a tiny green glass bird trinket that he'd found at the thrift store they stopped by during their second date. sirius hadn't bought it then, but remus went back and got it the next day just because he said he'd liked it. so sirius gets home from their third date and puts it on his windowsill and stares at it for like.....fifteen entire minutes and decides it's his most cherished possession and if he could save one single thing from his entire room in a fire, it would be the bird. and then he gives remus a key to his apartment the week after that in retaliation because fuck it he's literally in love with that stupid sweet idiot & it was either that or ask him to fucking move in on their fourth date

and then it's their six month anniversary and remus is coming over for dinner and sirius is gonna whip up a nice little fancy pasta situation, but he gets held up because some moron decided to knock over an entire shelf of CDs on the back wall of the music store where he's been working the last couple of months. so he calls remus on the verge of tears & tells him he's going to be really late and maybe they should reschedule and he's so so so sorry, and remus is nice about it because he's always nice but sirius feels like absolute shit because he'd made all these plans and now he has to spend two fucking hours putting the shelf back together and reorganizing the CDs.

so he trudges home in a mood and he's so so sad and it's been the literal worst day ever, but then he gets home and remus is already there. he's lit candles and cleaned the kitchen and set the table, and he's done a really good job at attempting the fancy pasta situation sirius had planned even though he's a shit cook, and sirius' favorite cheap wine from the grocery store is on the counter next to a pretty little bouquet of flowers. and remus goes 'happy six month anniversary!!' and he's so fucking sweet that sirius just....,,.bursts into tears in the doorway. and remus is like "uhh!!! 😧 i'm sorry!! hey wait hold on I'm sorry!! are you okay!!" and sirius literally wants to tackle him to the ground because !!!! no one has ever worked this hard to make him happy !!!! no one has gone out of their way like this just because they loved him !!!! and that's a really fucking emotional discovery to make when he's just spent two hours alphabetizing five hundred CDs.

physical touch is still his number one love language because it's comforting and calming and he likes feeling desired, but the times that remus picks up his favorite chocolate on the way home just because he wanted to or does all the laundry on the weekends sirius has a hard time at work are just as meaningful as the times that remus hugs him from behind while he makes their coffee in the morning or walks with a hand in his back pocket when they're out together. he's not picky about the way that remus loves him, but sirius knows he tries really hard to do it in the most meaningful ways and that alone is enough to make him feel more secure and more cherished than he's ever felt with anyone else.

now switching gears, remus is an introvert. like, imagine the biggest introvert you've ever met and then multiply that by a hundred. he has an ongoing problem with tuning out in the middle of conversations because his social filter hit E out of nowhere, or staying holed up at home for three days trying to get energy back after a night out. his time and energy are rare and fleeting gifts, so quality time has always been the biggest way he shows people he loves them. but he's never desired someone else's time until sirius.

sirius is energetic and bright and and magnetic and he doesn't even have to do anything special to have entire rooms of people gravitating towards him. he could do anything he wanted, talk with anyone he wanted, be anywhere he wanted, but the fact that he chooses to give his time and attention to remus means more than any words or gifts or acts of service ever could.

he's really fucking surprised that sirius even agrees to go out with him in the first place, and even more surprised that he's completely present and engrossed in every moment when they are out together. he doesn't get distracted with his phone, doesn't stop and make conversation with every person that waves at him when they're at his regular coffee shop, doesn't try to fill every silence with thoughts or words that don't matter. he's entirely content to just be together, which is more than remus could have ever hoped to find in another person.

so one evening in the summer they're at remus' place watching reruns of a show they'd already finished, and remus is thinking he's never been happier in his life than he is in that moment--just sitting together quietly, sirius tucked into his side with his head on his shoulder, tracing little patterns onto his palm and giving a little laugh at the tv every once in a while. and then sirius' phone rings on the other side of the couch and he answers it on speakerphone, and it's marlene saying she got him a last minute ticket to that concert in the park downtown they'd been trying to get into for weeks. sirius perks up and remus deflates--of course sirius is going to go, and he absolutely should, he's been talking about this concert all summer, remus is just sad he'll have to leave--but then sirius goes 'ugh i'm sorry, i had something come up and i can't go tonight, you should take dorcas!!!' and he hangs up and just settles back in and remus is like '....hello?? why aren't you going??' and sirius just shrugs and squeezes him a little tighter and goes 'i'd rather be here with you' and remus loves him so so so bad he thinks he might explode with it

and sirius is also really, really good at knowing when remus needs A Moment. he's always been able to read remus like a book, even back when things were new, like he has some kind of sixth sense that lets him know when remus is Done and needs to go home and recharge. recharging also sometimes means being alone, and after a very brief period of misunderstanding in their early days, sirius gets it, and he understands like no one else ever has and gives remus that precious space when he needs it. remus knows that's difficult for him some days, so he works really, really hard to pay attention and make sure he's doing everything he can to let sirius know how much he loves him, even when he needs to be alone sometimes. if that means leaving work early to meet him for the walk home or getting up at the crack of dawn on mondays to grab coffees before sirius wakes up then so fucking be it, he'll go out of his way every single day for the rest of his life if it means sirius feels even half of remus' love for him

he also never would have thought physical touch would become so important to him until sirius. remus wasn't ever one to reach out first, and sirius had always been touchy--casual their first few dates and then leaning further into it; holding remus' hand as they walked from his work to the coffee place down the street, playing with his hair absently while they watched a movie or before falling asleep, trailing an delicate hand up his shirt in public and blinking at him innocently when remus sent him a warning look, giving a sweet little 'i have no idea what you're talking about' while dragging his nails down remus' spine, all evil and smug about it, pushing his buttons expertly until remus pulls him from the room & tugs him in the direction of home. but remus loves those moments now, cherishes them just like he cherishes everything else, and feels more wanted than he ever has before

sirius taught him a lot about how to love other people, how to study and learn them well enough to understand what they need, and ask for help when he got it wrong. he learned a lot about self-worth, about feeling deserving of the abundance of love that had suddenly crash-landed into his life, how to sit with it and accept it and give it in return, just because he wants to

[robotnuts]

im so glad u watched 19 bc i truly have soooo many thoughts on like theres so much potential & really good scenes there but so many misses. the tex part is easily the best part of it though i still cant believe it actually happened. i kinda wish sarge's death was off screen like you see them watch him die but give him no final words sort of deal... i feel like it wouldve been a better plot device rather than the longer scene if sarge saying what he's feeling as he dies. sorry i keep thinking about that its my main thing i wouldve changed. well that and putting wash back in prison instead of a mental facility because i think a prison break with untreated mental illness couldve done more than ....... whatever the hell the wash scenes were. restoration is easily the best set up for fanwork ive seen in a while tho NGL the meta tucker concept is soooo fun i wish it got explored more. sorry im rambling in ur askbox now LOL

YESSS sorry for the late response. im glad rvb restoration dropped hwen it did so ic ould watch it irl with my girlfriend but it did happen to be during the most busy month of my year so obviously my blogging has been completely slacking. i really love this final line that apparently sarge was going to say. i think its more sweet and poetic than him spelling out how hes feeling about simmons and grif in particular

no yeah my biggest issue is just like. this felt like a vehicle for like, meta scenes saying goodbye to the reds and the blues, but the actual like "plot" of the season didnt really have any time to develop and had to just be quick weird scenes that were just kind of tonally dissonant and not really polished or treated with the same kind of care and deftness he was able to handle mixing the humor and plot elements of the recollections trilogy. both due to the runtime, him being out of the game for so long, and needing to do a full plot in one season instead of three. it really felt bare bones. which is fine it's just like, obviously you can see that its not the best, and i feel like if it was going to just be a vehicle for sappy goodbye to rvb as a property scenes i wish it had just gone all in and given us more interactions between the different characters. idk. im not really sure how id fix it aside from just having my own completely differnet version of their future in my head but ive already kind of written that post out for my post chorus vision lmao. dumpster baby forever...

META TUCKER IS REALLY FUN AND I COULDNT BE TOO MAD AT IT because it was literally a type of concept that epsilontucker riffed on after the open ended s13 (oh my god rip epsilontucker i think im gonna be sick). but his scenes again felt pretty jarring nad just put in there to keep the season moving and wahh why did they torture him for 10 fucking years ahhh scary AHHH. yeah, now that you said it it really does feel like. the bare bones of an incredible 250k word fanfic written by someone who has a different more serious tone than the original series like, put my guns in the ground style, moreso than an rvb season LMFAO but that's fine if anyones still in the fandom and cares to do that i'd love to see it. idk. im rambling. it was a good fun stream and i liked individual scenes but it was definitely all over the place for me

[trenchcoatsbi]

hallo!! its your nonbinary egg prosecutor again to talk about kin stuff :DDD, I hope you guys are doing alright with the entire thing with wil..and because rn things on the qsmp are a bit of a mess with the team, but I'm here to whip you guys back to reality and send you a lot of hugs!! this is a bit of a random thing but usually when I kinshift to franziska I picture myself as her young self either baby fran (that is basically child franziska) like rn or rookie prosecutor where she was like 13 and rarely when she is 18, maybe because I'm a teenager?? but I'm not really sure I was wondering if it could be an agere thing but I am not so sure about that either, regardless of that I'm feeling much more calm regarding everything that has been going on qsmptwt is burning ig? but eh not my issue at all I'm sure things will turn out fine in the end, I have faith in quackity as well as the admins

welp! see you later folks!!! please take care of yourself :DDD

-(cannon divergent llulah anon) franziska von karma ace attorney⭑

oh geez i didn't realize this was still in the inbox! I coulda sworn that I responded to it! ah curse my faulty memory! anywho geez sorry for leaving you on read so to say? i mean its not a big deal i just ughghg I like talkin to ya. lowkey sucks to realize i've left ya hanging but eh that's just how it is sometimes.

anyway franziska!! hi hello! happy to hear from you again :]! Hope things are all good with you too! Stuffs been fucked lately but I'm gonna pull through, t's gonna take a lot more than a little stress to kill me. [also thanks for the hugs. sending some your way too! hope they find you well]

Kinda piggy backin off of your thought cause t's really interestin to me. I remember a lil while back I'd align a lot more with the uh younger version of one of my kintypes but with time it's kinda shifted? idk augh I'm just more prone to reminiscing abt stuff that's more related to source which happened when I was older.

Just in general I've been thnking abt how like almost all of my kintypes are older than me rn. Feels weird tbh always thinkin I'm older than I am, but eh t's probably just a me skill issue on top of my habit of being old men in terms of kin stuff. Seriously some one stop me from being old geezers with children, I'm too young to be adopting people at the rate I've been at it...

Anyway I'm gonna just cut myself off there. The rest of my rambling can go into my private journal it's all a bit much haha. aight I'm gonna get back to responding to asks faster again I swear. I'm gonna claw my way back into being on top of things one way or another. I miss this blog which is a weird thing to say but idk I think about yall anons a lot. You all take care and all that! The eleventh month anniversary is right around the corner (it's the 16th so uh yeah literally just right there) and I might be sappy abt it again but I think I'll save the really sappy shit for the 1 year anniversary. yall watch out!!! it's ridiculous how easy it is for me to be emotional abt people I pretty much just know through an inbox.

[laurenairay]

1 - “You know I’m literally obsessed with you.” – JT Compher

821 words

My original post of this got eaten by tumblr so my apologies @xsyntheticsensation​ ! I hope you enjoy this one for our fav ginger grumpy cat! I had a lot of fun making the little extra surprise at the end.

*

“I hate people.”

“Hello to you too,” JT mused, lifting his head to look at you from where he was sitting on the sofa.

You groaned, leaning down to kiss your boyfriend in greeting, smiling softly at the laughter he was trying to hold in. “Sorry, it’s not been the best day.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning.

Where to start!

“First of all, the queue for coffee this morning was ridiculous and I was nearly late for work. Then we had two meetings which could’ve been emails for sure and a third meeting which ran on way too long. And then, the project I’m working on has been scrapped because the Sales guy didn’t communicate properly with the client and now the client wants something completely different, so all that work I’ve put in this week was for nothing!”

“And…” he prompted.

“Internet girls thirsting over you on the Avs social media posts?” you added, smiling wryly.

“Really?” he said, frowning.

“Oh come on, JT, you know how hot you are. And women on the internet agree with me,” you groaned, sinking down into the sofa cushion next to me.

“Um, not to be that guy, but it kind of comes with the territory? And it’s been like this since we started dating 6 months ago – why is it annoying you now?”

If it was any other guy, you’d be rolling your eyes at the ego, but that just wasn’t JT. This wasn’t him being cocky or arrogant, and you both knew that. That doesn’t mean it made things any better though.

“It’s always annoyed me, babe, I’m just extra annoyed about it today. We’ve been official nearly 6 months and I have a key to your apartment now and all these girls think you’re single, which fine, we don’t post our relationship everywhere because bleurgh who needs the drama. Things like this just get to me though, enough that when I went to lunch with some of the girls, they noticed that I wasn’t happy and we started diving into it,” you rambled.

“Oh shit here we go,” he laughed, wincing a little at the thought of your friends’ reactions.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like that we have things that are just us – it makes them special. But the girls were just like woah those are some thirsty random girls and I bet his DMs are full of titty pics and bad flirting,” you groaned, JT’s grimace confirming what you’d said, “And then some of the girls were like, you’re not even on his socials so of course they think he’s single, which is true but really not the point, and-”

“So why don’t we make a stupid insta post then?” he said, interrupting.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“You’re fed up with the flirting and the speculation. I want everyone to know that I’m the luckiest guy alive. This is a win-win situation,” JT said simply.

“Really? You’d want to do that? You hate sappy insta posts,” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“I might hate those cheesy posts couples do but I love you. You know I’m literally obsessed with you,” JT shrugged, smiling softly.

You felt your cheeks rush with heat at his sweet words, butterflies filling your stomach. For someone who was usually so reserved with his declarations of feelings, he sure could pick his moments.

“JT Compher you are the biggest simp,” you giggled.

JT’s soft smile turned into a wide grin, making you laugh as he shrugged again.

“Guilty as charged,” he said simply.

“You know we don’t have to, right? I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with just for me. I know all those girls on the internet and in the bars don’t mean anything to you – I trust you,” you said seriously.

It was one thing for him to want to make you feel more secure, but if it came at the price of him feeling uneasy? No way. But he just shook his head, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

“Baby, I want to show you off to the world. I want everyone to know that you’re mine,” JT said, smiling sweetly, “You’re not the only one who gets jealous and annoyed with all the people who hit on you.”

Well when he put it like that…

“Looks like we’re going public then babe,” you grinned.

JT grinned back at you and pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket, immediately starting to scroll.

“Leave this with me. I have an idea,” he said happily.

On a normal day, you’d be concerned that your usually-grumpy was so enthusiastic about putting together an Instagram post – but for this sweetness you were willing to let the strangeness slide. If he was this excited about putting up a public post to shout out about your relationship to the world (finally) then who were you to dim that sunshine?

[marvus-xoloto]

I’ve had a pretty rough week what about some sweet Mallek in a relationship head canons?

Yes of course!! Sorry I'm so late I hope your week gets better soon!

Mallek Comfort Headcanons:

He's surprisingly perceptive, especially when it comes to his quadrants. He can tell the minute you walk through the door that you had a rough day, or week, or just feel kind of shitty. Part of being an information specialist is getting the information in the first place, and knowing what to do with the information, and when.

That being said, he's a very emotionally reactive person. He's going to react immediately despite all of the above lol.

He doesn't always know the right words to say, but he will ramble on and on at you so sincerely that he does occasionally stumble upon the right words to say. Sometimes the right words are so sappy that he stops, blushes, back tracks, and makes it all worse for him / charming for you.

Mallek: when you look that pitiful;

Mallek it = easy to imagine why everyone loves y- 😳

Mallek: befriending you;

Mallek: everyone loves befriending you;

Mallek: platonically;

MSPAR: Yeah, on the lips and everything.

Mallek: 😳

MSPAR: With tongue 🥺?

Mallek: would you settle for a hug for now;

MSPAR: No.

Mallek: what about a hug;

Mallek: with tongue;

MSPAR: Gross.

He's 100% the kind of dude to run away from his problems. And I mean that literally; he enjoys a scenic hoverboard journey at 60 mph+ to get his mind off of whatever issue is upsetting him. He offers that escape and adrenaline to you, too.

Sometimes, there are no words to comfort you, and you have to ride it out. If you can't ride it out on your hoverboard, Mallek looks to his dad for advice. Which is to say he hugs you crushingly tight.

Mallek: nope;

Mallek: you != moving anytime soon;

MSPAR: What if I'm hungry?

Mallek: heh;

Mallek: why do you think hoodies have a pocket;

MSPAR: Knew that wasn't a rubber ducky in there 😏

MSPAR: ...but who's going to get the delivery from the door if you won't let me move?

Mallek: um;

Mallek: *hastily shoving cheez-its back into his hoodie"

Mallek: damn;

Mallek: maybe i should have built that robot after all;

He does his best to spoil you on his own terms- he likes the idea that he knows you well enough to give you exactly everything you need without having to be told- so sometimes you might hit a wall where you try to express what you need right then and Mallek steam rolls you with solution after solution. But he listens eventually, and hey, sometimes his steamrolling works.

Hope these were alright! I tried to give you some dialogue to hopefully help cheer you up a bit <3

[calciferstims]

Oughhh maybe I’m just feeling sappy on this night but once again reminding y’all that I love u so much. As in yknow… the lil crowd of ppl that live in my phone…

Like I just remembered the fact that I literally started this blog as a whim almost as a joke and really did not think I was gonna continue it super seriously but wow.. now I’m in this community and yea there’s Drama sometimes but I’m having sm fun and I love it so much even when I’m not producing much content.

I just feel like no matter what else is going on like I’ve built myself a nice cozy lil house here like a teeny minecraft hut and it’s so warm and nice and like I just have these lovely hand-selected ppl in my notes that are the nicest ever and y’all are so kind to me all the time,,, idk I just hope you guys feel that too!! Bc I rlly do think this blog is a really nice space or at least I try to make it feel that way and idk. Just thank u very much for supporting me so much ily :))) very very much u guys warm my heart you really do

Late night sunny out <333 sorry for rambling lmao imma try to sleep now it’s like 11:13

[wandsandwheezes]

pumpkin eater | F.W

Summary // Fred has been in a loveless marriage for as long as he can put up with, he truly thought he loved his wife until it quite literally fell into his arms.

WARNINGS // sorry hens this is pretty angsty but it has a happy ending, mentions of sex but nothing detailed, crying, cheating, divorce??, the big sad

A/N // don't ask me what prompted me to write this because i simply do not know ✨

The one thing Fred hated more than anything was the never-ending routine he was stuck in. He got up, made breakfast, kissed his wife goodbye, only to work late, come home and sleep it off, ready to start again. Fred was stuck In a loveless marriage, a wife that wouldn't sleep with him, she hardly acknowledged any of his touches, never responded with 'I love you'. He knew that as soon as he was at work another man was making her moan, fucking her senselessly into the sheets that Fred bought, in the home he owned.

That thought didn't make him angry, just sad, because he loved his wife. At least he thought he did - what he knew love to be, he felt that when he saw his wife, even if she truly didn't love him back. After the wedding and the honeymoon period, the relationship started to dwindle, The bed they once shared was missing her presence. Fred slept alone, over thinking about all the things he may have done to push her away or make her stop loving him, but the truth is, she never did love him, not that Fred would ever know that. 

Just like any normal day, the sun rose, as did the red haired man, he showered, dressed and ate, he went to find his wife, give her a kiss goodbye, but she was nowhere to be found, her bed was made neatly, the shower wasn't on and she wasn't sat in the dining room. Fred sighed, It was the first day he hadn't kissed her goodbye in what felt like years.

It was a really quiet day at the shop, so quiet that George, his twin, had sent Fred on the hunt for some decent lunch in London, Fred hadn't even made it out of Diagon Alley and his thoughts were already racing, the man's head was so in the clouds, he only realised the force he had bumped into someone, when is arms instinctively went to wrap around whoever was falling, in an attempt to save them the embarrassment. 

When Fred Weasley looked down at who he had caught in his arms, he swore he had never seen anyone so beautiful; windswept hair, gleaming eyes and soft, kissable lips. He could hardly stammer out a hello, he felt a spark he had never felt when looking at his wife, a woman who didn't love him, but when he looked at you, he thought about how happy he would be, like a whole life with you, with pure giggles laughter and love. For the first time in his life Fred felt what love was supposed to feel like, and he felt it while he held a woman whom he didn't even know the name of. The mischievous boyish whit from school was the only thought that plagued his mind as he spoke his first words to you, "Falling for me already?" 

Hearing you laugh was music to his ears, he didn't want to let you go, he wanted to hold you forever. "I'm Fred Weasley," he offered his hand out for you to shake, you smiled, softly. "Y/N," you replied, "I think we've gone past the handshake stage considering I've already been in your arms." He smiled, his heart skipping a beat as you wrapped your arms around him in a hug, you were funny and Godric your laugh was immaculate. 

"This is so forward, but how would you feel about getting Coffee with me?" You asked softly, You'd be stupid not to, when you'd literally fallen into the arms of a man who you'd felt a spark like you never had before. You watched his face light up like you had never seen before. The coffee shop was quiet but beautiful, he paid for your drinks, but when he handed over the money, your eye caught the wedding band on his finger, your heart sinking. You now felt stupid, falling quite literally, for a married man. Fred caught your eye, which was intently following his hand and he realised where your thoughts were trailing to. 

Sitting down with Fred for more than an hour had told you everything you needed to know, he spoke candidly about his wife sleeping with another man, how he went to bed alone, how he felt lonely and un loved. Your heart broke to hear him say that, how could anyone look at him and not love him, He was witty, intelligent, bold, charming and not to mention he was damn right attractive. "I understand If you don't want to see me again after this," he was bowing his head as he finished his drink, you grabbed his hand shaking your head. "Call me crazy, but when I was in your arms, I felt a spark like I never had before, I'm not letting you slip away this easily, Freddie." 

Hearing you call him that made him crash and fall for you even harder. You exchanged numbers, pressing a kiss to your forehead before parting ways, letting him make his way back to the shop. The whole walk he was buzzing off of sparks, his heart was finally beating for something, someone. Now he'd tasted what love could feel like, he couldn't get enough and he was already craving more. 

"Fred, this food better be amazing the time you took getting-" George was rambling, hungrily as Fred stepped into his twin's office. A smile was plastered over his face, he looked at his brother with all seriousness. "I found her, I found the one."

George had never seen his twin smile or gush like the way he was doing with you. "Freddie, I think you know what you need to do, go do it. " George nodded at his brother, before swiftly leaving the office. As fast as he could, Fred was apparating back to his home, a home he hoped he would share with you one day. 

When he entered his home, he didn't expect to hear the sounds of soft moans and slapping skin, the sounds his wife used to make for him, he felt sick to his stomach, a sick part of him listened in, she was faking it, putting on a show even. The man fucking her wasn't even doing a good enough job to make her actually cum. Fred was laughing, it was pathetic to hear the guy splutter and groan as he so obviously came without as much of bringing her to an orgasm. Fred heard his wife's soft voice from behind the door, "You need to go, he'll be home soon." His eyes widened and he darted for his bedroom. 

He was sat on his bed, he heard the front door slam closed, indicating that the man had left, Fred decided to wait about 10 minutes before putting on his act, tiptoeing down the stairs and quietly opening the door, only to slam it closed again. "Honey, I'm home!" he shouted, just like usual pulling off his jacket, and hanging it up, he didn't expect to hear anything, or even have her acknowledge his presence, instead he heard quick footsteps, his wife running down the stairs to jump into his arms. She was peppering loveless kisses over his face, and he held her, feeling nothing but dirty because she didn't feel like you. 

"Oh Fred I've been thinking about you all day!" his eyebrow raised and he cocked his head to the side, "Oh yeah?" Fred recognised immediately what she was doing, she wanted to cum and she knew Fred could do that for her. Fred however didn't want to. "Please baby, I've been so desperate for you." she pleaded, hands reaching up to undo his tie. He pulled away. 

"I want you out." 

"You, What?-" 

"I said I fucking want you out."

"Fred you can't kick me out, I'm your wife!"

"You stopped being my wife the second you took your rings off to sleep with another man, of all things in my own house while I work, and the second you started sleeping on your own."

"But, I love you." 

"You don't. You never have and I- Just get out of my house." he sighed deeply, rushing up the stairs and into his bedroom, tears falling down his cheeks, all he wanted to do was call you. So he did. He was sobbing down the phone about what he'd done, what he'd seen. Your heart ached for him, ached to hear him laugh and see him smile again. "Don't cry over her, Freddie, I'll be there soon."

You were at his house quickly, he text you an address which was misspelled, but after some thought, you placed two and two together and were there. You apperated into the house, his wife long gone, leaving nothing but vacant space behind. You found a bedroom with drawers and cupboards left pulled open, you waved your wand, the room going back to normal, you called out softly. "Freddie?" As soon as he heard you his body picked up, finding solace in your hold, he hugged you.

You sat in content silence as your hand pushed his hair back gently, comforting him with as much physical touch as you could, you were mumbling gentle words of encouragement to him as your lips pressed to his temple. "You deserve to know what love feels like, Freddie." he sighed softly, his hand trailing from your arm to your neck, his eyes were locked with yours, as he spoke, "I know what love feels like, Darling, I felt that love the second I caught you in my arms, I knew you were the one." He pulled you in so that your faces were millimetres apart, he pressed a kiss to your nose, then both corners of your mouth before brushing his nose against yours cheekily. "You are a sappy git, aren't you?" you joked softly hearing his laugh once again. 

When he finally pressed his lips against yours, your whole world slotted into place, like the planets had finally aligned, like every breath was for this moment, a moment with him and you wanted nothing more than for it to last forever. Maybe true love did exist. 

taglist // @weasleysflowr ​ @gcdric ​ @theweasleysredhair ​ @hufflepuffgirly @whiz-bangs78 @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @cappsikle ​ @minty-malfoy ​ @vivianweasley ​ @feetoffthetablee ​ @thisismynerdyself ​ @vogueweasley @rip-us @witch-and-a-half @sarcasticallywitty15 ​ @pandaxnienke ​ @wonderful-writer @loony-loopy-lupinn @hopemalfoyweasley

[solangelover]

"Look Both Ways First, Kids!”

Submission Prompt: Hello…I just thought of this prompt and love the way you write. Will is an elementary school teacher as a side job and his classroom habits slip out while talking to Nico and the others. Like when they go out in a group, Will is like: ‘Okay now everyone hold your buddy’s hand.’

A/N: I’m going to tweak the prompt a bit since like, elementary school teacher is not a side job LOL. So now we have a mortal AU with teacher!Will, grad student!Nico (not that it matters), and they’re hanging a mix of friends (I always do Cecil and Lou Ellen so I’ll try to mix it up more haha). (YO I’VE HAD HALF OF THIS WRITTEN FOR AT LEAST A YEAR SORRY)

 Read on AO3 or FF.Net

“Bye, Mr. Solace!”

Will enthusiastically waved goodbye, his last student filing out of his classroom. Man, second graders were really just adorable. Also, very messy. Will turned his gaze upon the desks covered in glitter and paper scraps and sighed. Nico did tell him that this particular art project was a bad idea, but how else was Will going to teach the kids about the states in the US if they couldn’t cut them out and color them?

Will began the arduous process of cleaning up, humming lightly to himself. He had to actually get his gum scraper (yes, he always had it on hand even if gum was not allowed in school) to get glue off the desks. After vacuuming as much glitter out of the carpet as possible, Will dusted himself off and headed to a faculty meeting.

He came back to his room to find his boyfriend wiping down his desks. He let out a noise of surprise, startling slightly in the middle of the doorway. Nico looked up, a slow smile spreading across his face as he stood up from where he was leaning over a desk.

“Hey, Sunshine,” he greeted. “I see you went ahead with the glitter.”

Will rolled his eyes but didn’t respond to the jab, electing to walk over and throw his arms around the dark-haired man. “What are you doing here?”

Will leaned back to see Nico’s face as he started speaking. “We’re going out, aren’t we?”

“It’s like 4:00! Isn’t it kind of early?” Will untangled himself from his boyfriend after giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

Nico shrugged. “Jason said I should just get you from school. You know how he’s like an old man now and he sleeps early.” They both laughed in agreement. Jason got some government job out of college that fit his regiment of rising early and hitting the ground running. While he used to be able to hang with everyone late into the night, starting his career flipped his “adult switch” and he became “less fun,” in Leo’s words. Piper doesn’t mind much since Jason’s routine has helped steady her often turbulent schedule. She had started a small fashion company in college that really took off in the past year, meaning she had meeting after meeting with various people and often had no consistency between her workdays. Jason and Piper’s daily lives were drastically different, but they did good to balance each other out and keep each other grounded.

“Did Leo say he was coming?” Will asked as he began putting things away and shutting his windows.

“Yeah, I think so. And he’s bringing Calypso too.” Leo’s small mechanic shop had a few loyal customers, which was enough to make Leo content with his life. Then, as he tells it, a beautiful goddess waltzed into his garage covered in grease and dirt smudges, claiming to have broken down nearby and was in need of help. Leo said she gave him a decent rundown of what she found wrong with her car and was ecstatic to find that she was spot on. He was in love and, while it took a bit of charming and annoying, Leo convinced her to go out with him a few months ago.

“Oh, that’s good! I like her,” Will replied enthusiastically.

“I can’t believe she puts up with him,” Nico said in a flat voice.

“Don’t be so mean, Neeks,” the blonde said as they made their way out the door. “They’re good together and you know it. Besides, she teases Leo just as much as he does to everyone—“

“Probably why he’s whipped,” Nico cut in.

“Oh my gosh,” Will rolled his eyes as he grabbed Nico’s hand, swinging it between them.

They continued to talk and joke as they got into the car and drove downtown, where they were meeting their friends for dinner.

Once they parked and were getting out of the car, they heard a shout behind them. “Looks like the love birds finally made it!”

Nico rolled his eyes and replied without even turning around. “Don’t even talk, Pipes. You know you’re the queen of sappy romance.” Will could see the smirk on his boyfriend’s face as he rounded the car to stand next to him.

They turned in time to see the Piper’s offended expression as she strode up to them. “Excuse me,” she scoffed. “How dare you make such an accusation against me when we all know Jason is the mushiest one and he’s standing right here.”

The aforementioned blonde only sighed exasperatedly, knowing he never wins this argument. Then, a shameless grin grew on his face as he snaked his arm around his girlfriend’s waist, tugging her toward him. He shoved his nose in her face and crooned, “And don’t you forget it.”

“Woah, Jason, where’s my loving embrace?” an indignant voice cried out to their right. Will turned to see Leo walking hand-in-hand with a beautiful girl, her caramel-colored hair blowing back lightly in the breeze. Her cheeks were tinted pink as she giggled, watching her ridiculous boyfriend ramble on about being Jason’s first love and how no one cared about him around here.

Jason, ever the gentleman, immediately turned to Calypso to introduce himself, prompting everyone else to do the same.

“Leo’s told us a lot about you,” Will said politely. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”

“I’m glad to be here,” she said good-naturedly. “Leo’s told me many stories about you all, though I feel like they were a bit… embellished. I know for a fact that he isn’t a smooth, suave hero at all times.” She shot Leo a look that caused his cheeks to darken, even as he placed a hand on his chest in mock exaggeration. Nico was right—he was whipped.

“Oh, don’t worry. We have an endless list of embarrassing things Leo has done. We’ll fill in the gaps he probably left out,” Nico cut in. In all honesty, getting back at Leo for anything and everything he’s ever done to him was probably what he had looked forward to most about this dinner. Will couldn’t hold him back if he tried.

Before things could escalate any further, Will gestured toward the road. “Let’s head toward the restaurant before we spend the whole evening insulting each other in a parking lot. I like to have food with my entertainment.” He winked at Calypso, who laughed as she nodded in agreement.

The group mingled together, conversing loudly as they made their way toward the edge of the lot. Nico had clearly considered jaywalking across the street to the restaurant, but one stern look from his boyfriend had him pivoting to the nearest crosswalk.

Will pressed the crossing button and turned toward the group as they waited. They all continued chatting, not really paying attention to where they were going. He glanced at the crossing sign, hoping everyone could at least look forward when they stepped into the street.

When the sign lit up and his friends hadn’t moved, he spoke up on instinct. “Everyone, grab your buddy’s hand; we’re crossing the street!”

The chatter stopped, and Will blinked as all eyes stared back at him. “Um…” He glanced again at the sign, which was now counting down their seconds. Technically, you weren’t supposed to enter the road at this point, but the timer was still high. However, none of his friends seemed poised to move, so maybe he’d have to hold them back before they ended up sprinting across the street. “Are we—?”

A loud snort to his right cut him off. Will turned his head to see Nico doubled over in laughter. “You—” he tried to start, but he couldn’t hold his laughter in long enough to even form two words.

Soon enough, the others started laughing too—Leo and Piper, rather loudly, and Jason and Calypso, a bit more politely, the latter holding a hand over her mouth as her shoulders shook. Will continued to look confused, part of his mind still preoccupied with the light they were missing.

He replayed the last few minutes in his head, then promptly turned red as he groaned. His friends only laughed harder when he buried his head in his hands.

“I just want to cross the street,” he lamented through his fingers.

“But, Mr. Will,” Leo exclaimed. “You forgot to tell us to look both ways first!” He had tears gathering in the corners of his eyes from how much he was laughing. Honestly, Will thought they were all overreacting.

“Oh, come on! It wasn’t even that funny!” he cried.

“Will,” Jason started, in a consoling tone that the teacher did not think was warranted in this situation. “You didn’t hear it like we did.”

“You used your teacher voice!” Nico finally caught his breath enough to speak, though Will kind of wishes he hadn’t. “It was all high and cheery and—” He wiggled his fingers in an effort to express Will’s tone.

The blonde man turned back to see the light had changed, the red hand now mocking him and preventing him from leaving this conversation.

“You’re a teacher?” Will found Calypso looking at him with genuine curiosity in her eyes as the other four calmed down from their fits of laughter.

“Yes,” he sighed heavily. “And we had a field trip the other day. And I came straight from the classroom today.” He gazed at the others around him. “I guess I forgot I wasn’t dealing with second graders.”

Calypso carried on over the noises of indignation from the others. “Aw, second graders, how cute! Tell me about it!” Bless her, this saint of a woman, engaging in conversation and pushing Will’s slip-up away. It was a kind gesture and Will ran with it.

He quite literally turned his back on the others as he described what his day of geography and glitter was like to the woman.

In the next minute, when the light changed and the crossing sign lit up once more, he felt a hand slip into his. Nico was staring up at him, a grin on his face. “I call you as my crossing buddy.”

Will rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah.” He looked to his other side to see the other couples also holding hands and smiling at him. The teacher rolled his eyes again and, before he stepped off the curb, brightly called out, “Look both ways first, kids!”

[straighttohellbuddy]

📓 !!

Okay im so excited please know I think about How The Light Gets In's world every day still, and so anyways here is a side story I want to write but there's a lot of set up regarding the reader and eef becoming friends again. For context, they were incredibly close around 2014-2017, but people were getting creepy and invasive and demanding about their friendship (think 2012 toxic side of the Phandom, if that makes sense), and a lot of the reader's relationships were strained at that time because while they had been successful before, they were absolutely blowing up after their first album released and they became far more mainstream. They felt like they were bothering the people they had become closest to, both because they're worried that they're a bother, and because gossip rags and paps would harrass their friends looking for a scoop, and so they ended up just completely cutting off contact without warning one day right before they went on their first tour. the start of HTLGI is about 3 years since they'd been in proper contact with any of the creators they were close to at that time.

DON'T LOOK AT ME on their 2017 ep Hyperfocus was a more general song in response to everything that had been happening in their life around that time, with a focus on how they stop associating with anyone for a while, without outright addressing it, but on their latest album n o s t a l g i a, read at 5am ft. Troye was specifically written at the start of quarantine, when the reader was getting back into YouTube, about their feelings regarding how their friendship with ethan ended, as they spent a lot of this time looking back of their YouTube career, and he was the person they were closest to for a very long time, before they iced everyone out.

OKAY SO THERES MORE OF THE BACKGROUND OF THE WHOLE FIC AND THE READER BUT

Werewolf Ethan & Mark. I'm sorry I don't make the rules. They have golden retriever energy you cannot change my mind. But also because this is the HTLGI you know that supernatural characteristics are able to be activated rather than just triggered by the full moon. What I'm trying to say is since this is set in the year of Unus Annus, they film a video together that's like, you know that show where a person has to try and outwit a professional tracker? Except its the reader being tracked by two werewolves at night in a national park. Reader is wearing some sort of night vision camera on themselves so whenever it cuts to them the audience can't actually see how they're using their powers, if that makes sense.

Also the reader agreed to this knowing it would probably be when they ended up telling Mark and Ethan about them being a demon.

Video is titled Hunting Down An Old Friend

A few Moments that the boys edit out:

The reader using their stupidly sharp prehensile tail to swing from tree branches, though they leave in shots where the reader's tail can't be seen.

Knowing that with the werewolves having advanced hearing, the reader would give themselves away by talking to the camera, they take a few minutes having flown up to a high tree branch, to pull out a notebook and do a little sketch of how Mark and Ethan appear in their Demon True Sight, and holding it up to their camera.

Werewolves being one of the animals who can kind of sense demons without being able to identify them, essentially like dogs can sense natural disasters and are often good judges of character, this can be heightened on command for werewolves. There's about 15 minutes of footage cut out of the boys discussing or mentioning how this place has awful vibes and that they should have done this during the day. It gets worse as they get closer to the reader, who didn't realise that the boys hadn't thought to ever use that particular power around them before.

("I say this with so much love and appreciation for you, dude," Ethan yells, looking up at you from the base of the tree they'd finally found you in, "but I- this is making me anxious I feel like something terrible's gonna happen, and we should probably get out of here and film the rest of the video back at Mark's." And behind him, Mark's nodding, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, eyes scanning the trees for whatever was most likely the cause of this terrible impending doom.

Oh. It's you. And they don't know its you.

Now or never, you suppose.

"Can you cut the cameras for a second? You're going to be fine I promise," you called back, and though they obligingly did, they both seemed antsy. You cleared your throat awkwardly, "that... that terrible feeling, that's not the park or anything in it- well I mean, it is, but it's just- it's me."

and later

"Dude your wings smell like rotten eggs."

"To YOU Ethan! And no they don't!"

"If it makes you feel better they smell like burning and rotten eggs."

"It does not."

(for reference, when enhancing their sense of smell werewolves can kind of distinguish various supernatural creatures, or parts of supernatural creatures. Some creatures have an inherent scent, but some, like angels and demons, only have distinct scents when they've activated certain attributesor abilities; demon wings smell like fire and brimstone, which unfortunately means burning and rotten eggs. I like to think angels wings are like the love potion in Harry Potter that smells like the things you love the most. Mark and Ethan usually don't enhance it around each other because they smell like wet dog to the other)

This gets about 2k notes on tumblr. The reader likes it:

Ethan finally finding Y/N at the end of Hunting Down An Old Friend (2020) Colourised.

Other things to note regarding all this:

It takes a while to rebuild their friendship to the point where they're comfortable enough to be on camera together (eef and reader specifically).

However, the Unus Annus video is the first thing they properly do together, and the reader, in an effort to connect more and make up for the past, will join in multiplayer gaming streams if asked.

Impromptu duet in proximity Among Us of Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy, which has their respective chats and fandoms losing their minds, except it stops abruptly after the first chorus as they both remember the opening lines of the second verse (make it easy, say I never mattered -- those lyrics hit a little too close to home)

But also the reader convinces him to join him for a proper cover in like, February of 2021, and it's something deeply sappy (I'm thinking Bon Iver by mxmtoon because I think its sweet and fits them well)

Also Ethan being reminded that the reader is kind of a much bigger deal than when they'd been friends before.

designed to hurt (touch me) from their ep Working On It is nominated for a Grammy for Track of the Year, and n o s t a l g i a wins Best Pop Album (because it's my fic and I said so)

FIRST OF ALL designed to hurt (touch me) is a beautifully produced song about Corpse (which people do not know) and the title itself is literally making fun of something he said IMAGINE his reaction to it being Grammy Nominated 😂😂😂 God he'd be proud but lowkey fuming, meanwhile the moment the nominations are announced the reader tweets:

me: here is an album where I processed my entire world view including heartfelt explorations of the trauma of existing and oversharing in the public eye from a young age without the traditional barrier between audience and entertainer

the grammys: that's cute BUT you know the song you wrote to bully your boyfriend and also be horny on main for him before you guys were even dating? THAT deserves its own recognition.

meanwhile Ethan's like..... this is the same person who I filmed a video with playing cards against humanity, and you laughed so hard you almost threw up. I am very proud but deeply confused.

The Hot Meme of Late April 2021 is "2 time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" with a gif, still, or quote from the reader where they're just being an absolute chaos gremlin.

Of course we have "If I bleached my asshole for charity I'd do it tastefully."

2 Time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N speaking to their actual boyfriend in the year of our lord 2020: You are being executed for Clown Crimes.

ethan posts a short video to twitter simply of his screen where he's renaming a folder from "Never Before Seen Images of Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" simply changing it to 2 time Artist. The reader responds specifically to his tweet with a video of themselves asking Google how to hard reset someone else's computer.

So many screenshots from old videos surface that week.

I miss this world. Sorry this is rambly!!

[likeshipsonthesea]

post script poetry

okay i’m going to preface this with a lot of rambling so buckle up my dudes

i started this i don’t know how long ago when i saw a post about how fun it would be if dex ended up being the one to wax poetic about nursey and i saw it and thought the only way that would happen would be by accident, like if he was complaining and started getting mushy

so i wrote this. like, half of this. and then tonight i found it and i liked it and finished it. so here you go. and yes, i did this instead of fulfilling the hozier prompts. sorry not sorry?

Hey Lardo,

I attached my schedule for the week of the 15th. Depending on how long you need me, I can also work this week. I know the sculpture doesn’t have to be done until the end of the month, but I also know how you get close to a deadline. Let me know if any of the free times work for you-- if not, we’ll figure something out.

Dex

P.S. I was going to text this, but since I’m typing I might as well tell you that there’s a horrifying new regular at the café. Every time he comes in he orders something so convoluted and complicated that he has to be fucking with me, and the drinks are so damn sweet he must need to see a dentist every weekend. He walks in with this stupid fucking smirk on his face too, like he derives joy from ruining a perfectly nice--okay well not nice but I’m perfectly civil to customers at least-- barista’s day.

He’s come in consistently for three weeks now. Pray for me.

P.P.S. Did I mention that he’s taken to sitting at a table with nothing but his stupid sweet drinks and a journal for hours on end? Sometimes he’ll buy a muffin and try to talk to me, like I’m not fucking working. Asshole.

*~*~*

Hey Lardo,

5 on Wednesday works for me. Should I bring anything aside from the regular tools?

Dex

P.S. It doesn’t matter if he’s attractive but since you asked, yes, but only in the way that statues are attractive. They’re carved and perfected and gorgeous, yeah, but when you look at them you’re admiring it, idolizing it-- your own inferiority is entangled in the attraction.

P.P.S. And no, I’m not telling you his name.

*~*~*

Hey Lardo,

Sorry to hear about the issues with the sculpture. The earliest I can come for emergency repairs would be tomorrow after work. Hope it holds together until then.

Sorry,

Dex

P.S. This seems to be a theme in our emails, but I’m mentioning this only because it literally just happened. The horrible regular was just here in a sweater and jeans. A sweater and jeans. It’s fucking snowing. Below freezing, high teens, stupid kind of cold, and the guy left his jacket home for what? To show the world how pretty he looks in that sweater? The asshole probably looked in the mirror and thought that people noticing how the green in the sweater enhanced the fucking tree top, sea-glass shiny green of his own eyes was more important than not getting frost bite. And he looked so fucking proud of himself too, smiling all big and wide and stupid like his lips weren’t chattering! And then he stayed in the shop forever, obviously, because he can’t go out in the cold wearing nothing and he just sat there and wrote in his stupid journal and looked over at me with his fucking budding-leaves-at-the-beginning-of-spring eyes like he knew how infuriating he was. That kind of stupidity just pisses me off.

*~*~*

Hey Lardo,

Was going through my messages and saw the last thread. How are the repairs holding up?

Dex

P.S. Shut up.

*~*~*

Lardo,

Glad the emergency repairs are holding. The piece looks great so far, I can’t wait to see the finished product at the end of term.

Dex

P.S. I’m not going to fuck an asshole just because he’s pretty.

P.P.S. Don’t bring up the LAX bro.

*~*~*

Hey Lardo,

My phone crapped out in the middle of a shift so I’ll be communicating via email for the next few days. I’ve got a bunch of leftover muffins from work. Want me to drop by the studio on the way home?

Dex

*~*~*

Lardo,

I’ll grab all the banana nut and any double chocolates that look good. See you soon.

Dex

P.S. Just because we’re on email doesn’t mean you have to ask about my horrible regular. But yes, to answer your question, he is still a regular and maybe a little less horrible, thank God.

*~*~*

Lardo,

Okay, I’ll get some blueberry ones for Shitty too.

Dex

P.S. Well, he’s less horrible because his orders-- while still stupidly complicated and overly fucking sweet-- have narrowed down to one of two options, so I know what they are now. When he lists off all of the stupid steps, I can just ignore him and stare at nothing, or how he gestures with his hands when he speaks and barely avoids knocking over the tip jar. I guess it’s nice that he talks with his hands, though, because sometimes when he’s sitting at a table and writing his hands start shaking and I much prefer the gesturing to that.

Also he seems to have decided to wear a coat for the foreseeable future, and even if it’s this deep green pea coat that probably cost more than what I make in a month, it looks good on him-- aesthetics and functionality, at least he’s compromising. It’s like cut or whatever, so you can still see the line of his waist, tight to his chest and everything. And he has a matching beanie that doesn’t seem that warm, but he tugs it down just over the tips of his ears and a few of his curls above his forehead poke out of it, all soft looking and stuff. He still needs gloves though.

But, I guess, overall he’s less horrible.

*~*~*

Lardo,

The sculpture looks great! And with the deadline still a week away you have a bunch of time to do all your last little nit-picky things.

Dex

P.S. Okay reading over that last post-script I do sound a little mushy, but in my defense I was coming off a double shift and I’d had a big deadline for CS the night before and I definitely wasn’t all there. This cannot be held against me.

*~*~*

Lardo,

Just because you put it in the P.S. doesn’t make it okay. I am not In Love with anyone, especially not the guy who writes poetry on the twenties he leaves in the tip jar.

Dex

*~*~*

Lardo,

Why does that matter?

Dex

*~*~*

FINE some of it was other people’s stuff-- I googled it and some were Emily Dickinson I think? Some of the lines didn’t return anything, so I guess they were original? Anyway it doesn’t matter-- he’s defacing money.

Dex

*~*~*

Your idea of romantic is weird.

*~*~*

Hey Lardo,

I can’t get my phone fixed until Sunday, but I wanted to double check that your show is on Saturday at 7:00PM?

Thanks,

Dex

*~*~*

Lardo,

Thanks for clarifying.

Dex

P.S. Actually yeah, I guess there was an update, or whatever.

So he came in with a book last night, late. Not a lot of people come by the cafe at night, obviously, so it was just me and him, and he was there for a while but then we were closing. I went over to tell him we were closing in a few minutes and he asked if I’d sit with him for a few minutes and, well, he’s a nice tipper, so whatever. I did.

And then-- I shit you not-- he started reading me poetry. Actually. Just started reading poetry to me out of nowhere. He’d gesture with his notebook as he did it, his eyes were all lit up like treetops at sunrise or something and his voice just filled up the whole shop, like it was bouncing off the walls and going through me and shit, like he was trying to make me listen in my soul or something. And, like, I’m shit at poetry and I didn’t really get what it was supposed to be, but you know when you hear a song and even without really hearing the lyrics it makes you feel some kind of way? That’s what it did.

Then he stopped reading and asked me what I thought and I couldn’t just say that it made me feel things so I said that the guy in the poem sounded kind of obsessed, and then the guy-- the regular-- laughed, like a full bodied laugh, his eyes crinkled and his shoulders shook and he tucked the notebook against his chest, against his heart, and laughed in public, in front of a stranger, like it wasn’t weird. And you know when something good happens? Something unexpectedly good? Your favorite song comes on the radio or you find a random twenty in your pocket or you catch the sunset on your walk home and its pretty and warm and just makes you smile and think, huh, I’m glad I get to be here for that.

That’s what his laugh felt like. I know it’s fucking sappy but it’s the only way I can come up with to describe it.

Anyway. See you Saturday.

*~*~*

Lardo,

Yeah.

I’m fucked.

Dex

*~*~*

Hey, fuck, I’m so sorry about last night. My phone is still fucked up otherwise I’d call you but your friend-- the one in your painting, Nursey-- he’s my horrible regular.

Small campus, huh?

He was a little drunk-- he kept drinking the champagne for some reason, I think it was to stop his hands shaking, I don’t know-- but I didn’t want to just send him off alone so I helped him back to his dorm and as I was taking off his shoes he kept reciting poetry or whatever and he was drunk, yeah, but he said it so nicely and he kept looking at me with his ridiculous eyes and then he touched my cheek-- like actually fucking caressed my cheek-- and I kissed him.

And I know he was drunk, I tasted the champagne when I kissed him, and I felt horrible and I ran out of his dorm and-- then I fell asleep and woke up and wrote this email.

So, I probably fucked up beyond repair and if you need me I will be kicking myself for the next fifty years. Thanks, goodbye.

Dex

P.S. I forgot to say-- the show looked great. The sculpture, the art, everything. You’re amazing, dude.

*~*~*

Thanks for his number, but I can’t just call the guy out of the blue and say, “Hey, sorry for kissing you when you were all drunk, won’t happen again, please keep tipping me?”

Also, I still don’t have a working phone.

*~*~*

That’ss the problem with falling in love with a stranger, youknow? Like, I never mett the guy really, I just made his stupid sweet coffee drinks and listened to his poetry that one time and stared too much when he talked with his hands and at his stupid eyebrows-- how do eyebrows look soft?? It makes no sense

And he’s beautiful, you know, like can’t stare too long or you’ll go blind, and I felt like he was a good person youknow, an asshole but good, the kind you want. And I could feel it he would probably argue with me over everything but I think I could likee that, like arguing, at least with him, because I know it wouldn’t be out of anger or whatever, he would be coming from a place of understanding or shared values or whatever

and i fucking KNOW that I can’t know all this frm looking at him, but he had his stupidd fucking g journal that he scrippled in all the time and his hadsn were covered in ink with notes to himself and I want to be the person who egts to listen to his poetry at 2 in the morning and watch him ramble about things he loves and tell him how fucking good his writing is because it IS lardo it’s so good, he’s so good, i never spent any of those twenties witb his writing on it i hung them in my dorm isnt’ that fucking stupid god i love him, i love him and I don’t even know him

Love scuks.

P..S yeah, if you couldnt tell, i’m a little drunk. oops

*~*~*

Dear Lardo,

It’s very rude to forward drunken, rambling emails about someone to that someone without the consent of the drunken rambler.

Dex

P.S. Thank you.

[365days365movies]

February 5, 2021: The Notebook (2004)(Part 1)

...Do I have to?

...The year was 2004. I was 13, my Mom was still into romance movies, and we had a Hollywood Video nearby. God, I miss Hollywood Video, you have NO idea. Anyway, I obviously didn’t watch this movie (or I wouldn’t be watching it now), but I do remember kissing in the rain...or was that just the DVD cover? Other than that, I got nothin’. Still, I like both Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling in other works, so I guess we’ll see.

I also can’t start this without acknowledging the fact that this is based upon a Nicholas Sparks book, and...I’m not into that. Sparks sucks, man. Sappy, overemotional, and constantly predictable folderol.

OK, Nicholas Sparks, let’s get this over with. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start with scenic shots of a boat rowing through a marsh, being visited by a flock of snow geese. As they fly off, an elderly woman (Gena Rowlands) looks out of a window over it. The woman is in an old-folks home, and is visited by Duke (James Garner), another resident. He’s here to read from a book, despite it not being a “good day,” according to the woman’s attendant.

The story in the book begins on June 6, 1940, at a carnival in South Carolina. There, Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling) sees Allie Hamilton (Rachel McAdams), and it’s infatuation at first sight. He’s a lumber yard worker, and she’s a rich heiress. He’s also EXTREMELY forward, and she’s EXTREMELY not interested. He approaches her for a dance (at a...carnival), and she says no, having literally never seen this guy before. He responds to this rejection by...butting into her date with another dude of a Ferris Wheel? 

And when she once again rejects his offer for a date...he, uh...he threatens to kill himself off of the Ferris Wheel?

Um. Yeah, no. That’s a new level of manipulation. She pants him on the Ferris Wheel and humiliates him, but JESUS CHRIST, this dude is a lot. That’s compounded the next day, when he continues to pursue her, and she continues to be EXTREMELY not interested! DUDE. GET A GODDAMN CLUE HERE, she is NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR SHIT.

Is Noah the first simp? Because he’s really starting to seem like it. Anyway, Noah and his friend Fin (Kevin Connolly) basically set her up to go on a double date with Noah, and he continues to be overly forward. Maybe this is supposed to be romantic, but it definitely doesn’t feel like it to me.

We find out that Allie is a quite well-educated young woman, whose schedule is basically completely controlled by her parents, who want her to go to college as well. Noah questions why her life is so restrictive, nothing that she should be free, which she insists she is. He then lies down in the middle of the road, watching the street...lights…

Holy shit, he’s a manic pixie dream boy. HOLY SHIT HE’S A MANIC PIXIE DREAM SIMP. He does all these quirky things, and breaks the girl in the restrictive lifestyle out of said lifestyle. Even if his dumbass actions nearly get him and Allie killed. See, she lies down in the street with him, and they nearly get run over by a car. And this second near-death experience is apparently SO romantic, that Allie’s won over, and they...just dance in the middle of the street. Because Ryan Gosling has no idea where to dance, apparently.

Billie Holiday sings “I’ll Be Seeing You” in the background (which, yes, I love), and we cut back to Duke reading to the elderly woman, who correctly guesses that they fell in love. And yeah, they go head-over-heels, apparently. Which is symbolized by, just, the most graphic of PDAs over, lord. 

Allie meets Noah’s father, Frank (Sam Shepard), a seemingly nice man and poetry fan (he’s a Tennyson man apparently). He asks her if she wants breakfast-for-dinner, and he’s my favorite character so far.

However, as if to set up the conflict to come, we’re reminded that this is a summer romance, and that they come from two different classes and worlds. Because of course they do, but whatever, moving on. That is when the following scene takes place.

...Look, I’m a bird guy by trade, and even I think that was weird.

We get more glimpses of their romance, including them dancing at a gathering with...a bunch of black peopNOPE. HOLD YOUR TONGUE, 365, WAIT FOR THE REVIEW TO TALK ABOUT THAT SHIT. At the end of this montage, we meet Allie’s father, the uppity and rich John Hamilton (David Thornton), and his GLORIOUS mustache (mustache). 

He invites Noah to Sunday brunch, which is being attended by...black servaHOOOOOOLD. NOT NOW 365 NOT NOW. We also meet Allie’s controlling mother, Anne Hamilton (Joan Allen). When Noah tells them how much money he makes, they immediately look down on him and his poor, poor ways. Anne reveals that Allie is headed to Sarah Lawrence, an all-girl’s school in New York. Which is, uh...NOT close.

Anne very much disapproves of her relationship with Noah, seeing him as a low-born of little consequence. Not that it matters, because the two head to a DEFINITELY HAUNTED house in the woods one night, which overlooks the marshlands. The bats from the Scooby-Doo intro fly by as the two walk in to, again, AN ABSOLUTELY HAUNTED HOUSE. This is the 1772 Windsor Plantation, home to...the Swamp Fox? Huh. Didn’t expect a crossover with the Mel Gibson movie The Patriot, but OK then.

The two talk about their house in the future, and somewhere in the house, a painting’s eyes move mysteriously. Allie plays a tune on the piano, which 1) sounds AMAZINGLY creepy, and 2) I’m pretty sure is the opening song, which is a neat touch. Guess that’s the theme for the movie, or possibly Allie’s leitmotif.

Anyway, it seems that the ghostly wails of Old Man Marion have gotten them both all hot and bothered, and they prepare to make love, right there in the old haunted house. The two undress while social distancing, then approach, significantly raising their risks of contracting COVID-19. Allie is CLEARLY very nervous, and as they attempt to begin the dirty deed, Allie can’t stop rambling about the current situation. Which is clearly putting Noah off the mood, but the two still clearly care about each other. It’s weirdly sweet, considering the fact that there’re, like, 50 ghosts watching, and God knows how many of those are slaaaaaaaAAAANYWAY

Fin suddenly bursts in, as it would appear that Allie’s parents have every policeman in town looking for her. Her parents are clearly upset, and her mother demands that Allie stops seeing Noah, whom she literally describes as “trash.” Jesus. And they aren’t exactly quiet about it, as Noah hears the entire conversation. He understandably leaves, and is also clearly disheartened by the whole situation. 

When Allie catches up to him, he says he has to think about this whole thing, including the fact that she’s going to Sarah Lawrence, and he’s staying behind. And I’m not gonna lie, he’s actually being realistic about this whole thing, and she’s acting FAR less rational. She actually breaks up with him right then and there, and as she’s literally physically assaulting him, I realize that SHE is actually the psychologically unstable one, HOLY SHIT. Emotionally compromised or not, Allie goes BONKERS here.

The next day, her folks decide that they’re leaving, that very day. Allie doesn’t want to leave without making amends with Noah, and she’s regretting her actions the previous night. She goes to Fin, and tells him to tell Noah that she loves him, and that she’s sorry. Noah shows up a little too late, and goes to return the comments, but Allie’s already gone.

Noah somehow gets her address, and writes her 365 letters, one letter every day. He never gets one in response, so he gives up and moves with Fin to Atlanta. Allie’s mom is seen getting the mail, so we know EXACTLY what happened to those letters. Meanwhile, it’s now 1941, and it’s time for World War II for the USA! Fin and Noah fight with Patton’s troops, and Fin doesn’t make it.

Allie, meanwhile, is in college, and works as a Nurse’s Aide for war veterans. She sees all of them as Noah,,,which is weird because she hasn’t gotten any of his letters, so she wouldn’t know that he went to war, but whatever. One of these injured men is Lon Hammond, Jr. (James Marsden). And...aw...AWWWWWWW. Did I just type James Marsden? GODDAMN IT HE’S GONNA GET CUCKED

James Marsden seems to have only one role in movies, and that’s to be overshadowed by another dude, even though in many instances, he’s a totally fine guy. The X-Men films, Superman Returns, Enchanted, the Westworld series in a way, TELL ME I AM GODDAMN WRONG. Dude’s always in movies where he plays the love interest to a girl, and that girl is pursued by another guy, and he ALWAYS LOSES TO THAT GUY. You could argue that Cyclops in the X-Men escaped that fate, but need I remind that first, Jean died, and then she came back AND KILLED HIM. STOP SCREWING OVER JASON MARSDEN’S LOVE LIFE, MOVIES!!!!

Seems like we’re once again headed down that path, though, as the very injured Lon asks Allie out on a date while in recovery, then takes her out once he’s healed. And, since he’s about as forward as Noah was, but less crazy when asking her out, she falls in love with him quickly. And it’s Duke that makes that assessment, not me. And, OF COURSE, he’s a rich Southern boy, meaning that her parents are going to approve.

At a dance club in the city with...black performDEAR GOD IT’S GETTING HARD TO HOLD ON BUT I GOTTA DO IT MOVING ON

He proposes to her, with her parents’ full permission (of course, because he’s rich and southern, gross), and she gladly accepts. He jumps on stage and announces to the entire club that they’re getting married. However, she’s still missing Noah subconsciously.

Speaking of, Noah comes home from war, presumably in 1945, and finds that his father sold him the house in order to buy the Windsor Plantation. Around the same time, Noah finds out that Allie’s moved on, and is with Lon. So, what does he do? The only logical thing: he restores the entire plantation by himself in order to win Allie back FUCKING REALLY?

Dude, you rebuilt an entire house on your own, your father died, and you could EASILY get rich off of selling the house and continuing to restore other derelict properties in the area! Upwards mobility, my man! You don’t even need to stay in town anymore! Hell, THAT’S a better plan to win both Allie’s AND her parents’ approval! STOP SIMPIN’, AND IF YOU’RE GONNA SIMP, DO IT RIGHT!!!

He’s also sleeping with a war widow, Martha Shaw (Jamie Brown), and STILL thinks only of Allie, and her sweet, sweeeeeeet bathwater, probably. Speaking of, Allie’s trying on a wedding dress, when she sees a photo of Noah in the paper in front of the plantation, which certainly shocks her. Confused, she goes to see Lon at his job as a stockbroker, and laments to him her lost romantic whimsy, brought up by seeing Ryan Gosling (AKA a natural response). She tells him that she’s going to Seabrook to “clear her head.” Lon asks if he should be worried. She says no. SHE LIIIIIIIIIIES.

Halfway mark, and this is a good place to cut! See you in Part 2!

[kpoptrashibnida]

Enough Pt. 2

A/N: Here is Chapter 2 everyone! Thanks to those of you who have so kindly read and supported the first chapter. I want to apologize in advance if the formatting might be a little wonky. This is my first time publishing a chapter on my iPad, so hopefully it’s not too bad. I tried editing as best as I could, but please spare me if there are errors. I came to Brazil for vacation and I’m trying to write/edit in my spare time. Currently it’s 1AM in Brazil and I just felt like I needed to finish this chapter and publish it. Anyway, enough rambling, here is Chapter 2. Also, real quick, this might feel like a filler chapter/not important, but there are key elements here that will come into play later on. Okay? Cool. Happy reading!

WARNINGS: None

When the idea came to you to you, the result you got was not at all what you expected.

You managed to sneak a peak at Chanyeol´s door code the last time you came over to his place for a night of passionate sex. You didn’t plan on coming here often or anything weird like that. But you knew Chanyeol had been having long and tiring days at work and practice, so you just wanted to do something nice for him.

You had dressed up and made some food for him to have at his apartment. You don’t know how he had such a nice body when all he ́d do is eat out and eat ramen at home. You went over to his apartment when you knew he ́d be at band practice. You cleaned up a bit and put some of the food away in the fridge while the rest you started to reheat so it´d be ready by the time he got home.

“You scared me!” You piped as you grabbed a cloth towel and wiped up the bit of mess you made when you dropped the spoon.

“How did you get in my apartment?” His tone had not relaxed and you noticed how upset he looked, which made your stomach drop.

“I saw you punch in your code once and I remembered it. I know you’ve been busy and tired lately, so I wanted to surprise you.” You watched his face as his eyes scanned what was visible of his apartment from where you two were standing.

“I may be tired but I don’t need you to come here and cook or clean for me.” He brushed past you as he made his way to his bathroom, getting ready for a shower.

“You don’t want to eat? The soup is warm.” You said softly, trying to ease his mood.

“I ate already.” Was his only reply as he slammed the door of his bathroom shut.

You stood there for a moment, to see if he would come out of the bathroom and say he was joking. But once you heard the water turn on and his Bluetooth speaker started blaring some heavy metal song, your initial embarrassment turned into anger.

Taking off the apron around your waist, you huffed in annoyance at his attitude. He could’ve at least been a bit grateful! Sure coming to his house unannounced was your bad, you recognized that. But he didn’t need to act like such an asshole. You picked up the rest of your belongings and made your way out of is apartment, slamming the door behind you. You knew he wasn’t going to hear it, but it made you feel better anyway.

Chanyeol and you have a very interesting relationship. You’re not formally dating, because Chanyeol made it clear he doesn’t do relationships. You were each other’s go-to fuck buddy. You liked to think it was more than that though. There were times when he would be very sweet and attentive and other times he would be cold, distant and give you the silent treatment for days, if not weeks, before he’d message you as if nothing happened. It was extremely confusing and frustrating at times because you really felt like you were developing feelings for him, you just didn’t know how he felt.

His attitude tonight was completely unexpected and you wish he’d tell you what made him so upset. It’s not like you were strangers. Six months had passed since the night you two went home together after the club. He had been over at your place countless times. You had only been to his place a handful of times, but it didn’t happen often. You feel it had something to do with the fact that he never stayed the night with you. After you’d finish having sex, he would normally stay for a few minutes to cuddle with you, but then he’d get dressed and leave. You figured he didn’t like to go to his place because he didn’t want to kick you out. You were intuitive enough though, and so the few times you’d be over at his place, you’d leave almost immediately after. He would offer to drive you home so you didn’t have to take an Uber or a taxi, but he never asked you to stay.

Once you’re back inside your apartment, yo decide to apologize to Chanyeol. You want to put this whole thing behind you as if it never happened.

Hey, I just want to say I’m sorry. It was out of line of me to barge in like that. Don’t worry, it’s not going to happen again.

You plugged your phone into its charger and went to the bathroom to take a shower, You put the unseen sexy lingerie in the hamper and sighed, it was a shame it was not ripped off your body tonight.

Once you were out of the shower, you checked your phone to see if he had replied, and to your complete disappointment, he had not. Maybe he was more angry about it than what you thought.

“And he never replied?” Mina asked in shock, her eyes bugging out in a comedic way.

“Nope. It’s been three days since. He’s giving me the silent treatment again.” You roll your eyes as you sip from your coffee.

“Look, babe, I say this because you’re my best friend and I love you. But why are you with him? He’s not worth your time! He’s such a douchebag.” Mina says, getting angrier as she thinks about it.

“He’s not that bad. He just has mood swings.” You shrug.

“Bullshit. Dude, do you not see what's going on here? He manipulates you! And you just keep going back to him time and time again! You deserve so much better than that! You’re much better than all of this!” Mina slams her coffee cup on the table, giving you a glare you’ve never received from her before.

“Mina, I know you’re looking out for me, but you need to calm down. Not all of us are as lucky as you and have a boyfriend that literally bends over backwards to give you everything you want.” You spit back at her.

“Are you freaking stupid? That’s exactly how your boyfriend is supposed to treat you! But, oh, right! Chanyeol isn’t your boyfriend. He’s just a guy that calls you when he feels like he needs something to fuck.”

You were stunned to silence. Never before had Mina ever spoken to you like. Her words had venom and you felt yourself get angry but also wanting to cry at the same time.

“Wow. Okay then.” You say, grabbing your coffee cup and your purse as you get up. “I’ll see you back at the office. My lunch break is over.” You walk away without giving her the chance to say anything else.

Mina is glued to her seat, shocked at herself for the things she said to you. She regretted it as soon as it came out of her mouth. She wanted you to see that Chanyeol was only using and manipulating you, he didn’t really care about you and it hurt her to see you let yourself be used that way. You were such a strong willed person that it felt completely out of character seeing you let yourself be treated this way.

Once you got to your cubicle, you let a few tears stream down your face before you wiped them away angrily. You didn’t want anyone to see you cry at work.

Hey, want to come over tonight?

Your nerves were on end the second you pressed the send button. You just wanted to prove to yourself that Mina is all wrong about Chanyeol.

You put your phone face down so you could concentrate on your work and not glance at it every two seconds to see if he replied. You opened up your email and saw you had many of them you had to answer, making you sigh in annoyance.

“Seriously? Did everyone decide to message me when i was out to lunch?” You grumbled to yourself, opening up the first email and resuming your work.

By the time you answered your last email, three hours had passed and it was time to leave work. You glanced at your phone, remembering that you had messaged Chanyeol. You checked to see if he had replied, just to see he left you on read. You shoved your phone into your purse, annoyed at yourself for messaging him.

You didn’t realize you were crying until you noticed a little boy sitting across from you on the bus; he was staring at you and making a wiping motion. You wiped at your face, surprised to see that it was wet. You sniffled quietly and got off at your stop, stopping by the convenience store to buy some ramen and a lot of junk food. You don’t know why you were craving it so much, but you felt like you needed it.

Once the ramen was ready you turned on the TV to watch a drama and pig out on junk food. The drama that was on air was a very sappy romantic drama that had you crying when the lead male character confessed his love to the female lead.

“Love isn’t real!” You screamed at the tv, throwing the remote control across the room and wiping at your tears. You emptied the bag of honey butter chips into your mouth and laid on the couch, watching the drama until you fell asleep.

You woke up in the middle of the night from a sharp pain in your lower abdomen. Clutching your stomach , you made your way to the bathroom to see what was wrong with you. Pulling down your pants and sitting on the toilet, you saw the dark red spot on your panties.

“Ugh, screw you Mother Nature.” You grumbled as you stripped your clothes off and made your way to the shower. That explained the sudden need to eat half the junk food your local convenience store had to offer. It also explained why you were crying like a little bitch last night, momma didn’t reside no weakling.

After your shower, you saw that it was past 4am. Grabbing a heating pad, you took a couple of Advil and hoped that it would help alleviate the pain. You went back to sleep before you knew it.

The blaring alarm woke you up and the second you moved to turn it off, you felt a sharp pain once again in your lower abdomen. Moaning in pain you realized that you were not going to be able to function at work today, not when your uterus was literally ripping itself to shreds inside your body.

You texted your manager to let him know you were not going to work that day. Thankfully your company was very lenient with sick leave, so you weren’t too worried about it.

You felt like crap and decided to order some delicious kimchi stew to help settle the pain, it was better than eating ramen and junk food, that’s for sure.

When Mina showed up for work, she made her way to your office with a coffee in hand, ready to apologize for her behavior the day before. She was totally out of line and she didn’t like it when you two were mad at each other. Rounding the corner, she was confused when she realized your cubicle was empty. It was very unlike you to miss work, but at the same time, lately you had been doing a lot of things that were unlike you. Still, she felt terribly bad about yesterday and she decided to shoot you a text, maybe you were sick and that worried her.

Hey… I know you’re probably still mad at me, but I want to make sure you’re okay. I didn’t see you at work today. Is everything alright?

You woke from your nap when you felt your phone vibrate next to your head. Your heart skipped a beat with the possible Chanyeol messaging you back. But seeing that it was Mina instead also made your heart race, remembering everything that happened the day before. Reading her message, you smiled softly and rolled your eyes. She worried so much about you and you felt bad for walking out on her yesterday. Her words hurt you, but you know she was just looking out for you.

Hey, I’m fine. Aunt Ruby decided to pay me a painful visit.

Oh no babe! As soon as I’m done with my morning meeting, I’ll leave work early and make my way to your house with some delicious food and goodies~

Aww you don’t have to, I know you’re busy.

Nonsense. I’ll be there in 2hrs

I love you and don’t deserve you

;)

Taking a look around your living room, you realized that your apartment was a little messy. You tidied up and washed the few dishes that were in your sink. You put a load of laundry in the washer and headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower so you felt a little better.

Once you were out of the shower, you put your laundry to hang as the doorbell rang. Looking at the security camera screen, you saw Mina standing there holding bags of food.

“Hey! I brought you a little survival kit.” Mina said as she took her shoes off and made her way to your kitchen.

“I have some heating pads, chocolate, some ramen and tofu stew. Oh and kimchi from that banchan store down the block. That old lady makes the best kimchi.” She put all the bags on top of your counter as she sorted the items out.

“You’re so good to me, I don’t deserve you.” You said as you walked up behind her and wrapped your arms around her waist.

Mina shrugged herself out of your arms and whirled around to face you, you were stunned at her sudden movement.

“No, don’t say that. I’m horrible, okay? I was so out of line with you. You didn’t deserve that. I don’t deserve you.” Mia looked near tears as she embraced you in a tight hug.

“I know you’re looking out for me.” You said as you both pulled away. You sat on a stool as Mina took the stew out and placed it in front of you with some rice and kimchi.

“I went full mamma bear on you. I didn’t mind when you and Chanyeol were just sleeping around. But I know you and I don’t want to see you get hurt. Chanyeol doesn’t deserve you and you should not be accepting his treatment.” She said, feeling angry but sad at the same time.

“I know, but-“ You were interrupted by Mina’s phone going off. She took her phone out and answered.

“What? I am out of the office.” She said into the phone. She was quiet for a second and cursed under her breath. “Okay okay okay. I get it. I’ll be there shortly.” She hung up and sighed.

“I’m sorry, I gotta go. Some people are just so incompetent they can’t do their job even though it’s so simple. I’ll check back later, okay?” She said, grabbing at her purse.

“Of course, don’t worry. You did so much already. Thank you.”

“Eat your soup!” Mina said as she made her way out of your apartment.

You ate your soup in silence and threw the trash out once you were done with the soup. Grabbing a bag of honey chips, bless you Mina, you plopped down on your couch and pulled up Netflix. You got lost on the drama you were watching you didn't hear your phone vibrate until the second time. You reached for it absentmindedly and didn't pay attention to who messaged you until you unlock your phone.

Hey babe

Can I come over? I need you

You stared at Chanyeol’s message for a couple of minutes before you responded. You were dumbfounded as to why he was messaging you now, after ignoring you for a few days.

You can come over if you want. But I’m on my period and I’m not going to sleep with you.

You sent the message with a hint of annoyance. You were hoping he’d want to come over anyway, to prove to you that this whole thing was not just about sex.

I’ll come over in 2 days

His response left you feeling cold. Two days. As in when your period is over. Your heart sank to your stomach and you felt a little nauseous. You were really hoping that this was something else, but it seems like time and time again, Chanyeol was proving you otherwise. You wiped at the tears angrily, both at Chanyeol and yourself. You couldn’t believe what an asshole he was. You had enough of his bullshit.

Previous                                                                                                       Next

[puckrmn]

Nobody Actually Likes Salads || Peychuck

tagging: @thepuckrmn & @peytonhudson

location: Joe’s

time frame: April 22, lunch

warnings: some light salad bashing (dw i actually like salad sometimes)

This has been the longest Peyton had gone not seeing Puck since they’d started sleeping together. He was becoming such a constant in her life that when he was gone it took everything in her not to reach out, and not to randomly show up in his bedroom the same way he used to show up in hers. But proving to herself and to him that she did believe the best in him meant trusting him when he told her he was doing it for her. That he wasn’t going anywhere. She’d spent the morning in class, and as she walked into Joes she was silently cursing the fact that she didn’t put more effort into her appearance before she took Lexi to school — Mornings were hectic. Jeans and an oversized sweater would have to do. It had been a while since her heart raced like it was right now, and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered somewhere between excitement and nervousness. All their text conversations hadn’t helped the latter. Spotting him at a booth she couldn’t stop herself smiling even if she wanted to, “Hey... You waiting for someone?” She says quietly, sliding in across from him. “I was meant to be meeting a potato, but I don’t see any soooo can I sit here while I wait?”

Puck leaned back in his seat as he watched people walk by the window of the restaurant. A night out with Kitty and still not completely ventilated apartment had him feeling tired and hungover. He chuckled to himself when he realized he was still wearing his sunglasses inside. Pulling them off, he tucked them in the front of his shirt before grabbing a menu off the table. He was looking over his options when he heard a familiar voice in front of him. Looking up, he smiled at his lunch date. “Think you need to get your eyes check because I’m looking extra potato today.” Leaning across the table, he pressed a kiss to her cheek in greeting. He sat back down and took a sip of his soda. “How were your classes? Finals are right around the corner huh?”

“A slightly tired potato maybe?” she teased, smiling softly as he kissed her cheek. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but for a moment she just wanted to look at him. She’d missed that face. Peyton nodded at the question, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yup, next week. I’m pretty sure I’ve got this now... I dream about flash cards, my entire living room is full of post it notes to remind me of things I need to know, and Lexi has heard so many random facts I’m fairly sure even she could sit my finals for me.” She chuckled, and picked up the menu from the table, twirling it in her fingers. She’d lived in Doveport her whole life, she didn’t really need to see what they had. “How have you been? Besides the turning into a potato thing.” She asked, placing the menu to the side and resting her arms on the table in front of her.

He chuckled as he listened to her, remember how wound up she got before her final exams the previous semester. “You’re gonna kill it. You’re literally the smartest person I know. And you already know everything there is to know about animals. Dr. Peyton Hudson. Has a good ring to it,” he said as he dropped his gaze to look over the menu once more. “I’ve been chill. The studio has been slammed lately. I think I’ve tattooed half the town in the last two weeks. Everyone must be bored or something. Turning into a potato was also fun though. Apartment still smells like weed,” he commented with a shrug. Puck glanced over the menu once more before looking up at Peyton. “I’m thinking the chicken sammie. What about you?”

Dr. Peyton Hudson. With graduation so close and a job offer sitting in her emails, the reality of that title seemed to be closer in reach than ever before. She also wasn’t too proud to admit she liked the way it fell from his lips. “As long as no one asks me for medical advice on a plane, I think I’m pretty excited to be a doctor,” she quips, chewing at the inside of her lip as she listened to him talk about his life. “Yeah, I had a few people come and ask me for ink, but unfortunately with finals I had to send them all your way... you can thank me later.” Peyton joked, looking down at briefly at the menu and nodding. “As lame as it sounds, I think I have to eat a salad... and cheese fries. You know, on the side?” She chuckled. “The nutritional value of one outweighs the other, obviously, and if I don’t eat a vegetable sometime soon, my body may rebel.” She should really make note of that later when it came time to feed Lexi and she has pizza for the third time in five days. When the waitress comes to the table, Peyton ordered politely and handed the menu back to her before turning her gaze back to Puck. There’s silence for a second as she found the words, trying not to ramble for once. “Thank you, Puck... I mean, for the space. I didn’t love it all the time,” she admitted, ducking her head. “But I think I needed it. So, thank you.”

“Oh yea. My biggest tattoo competition in this town. No wonder I was mostly only doing finger letters these past couple of weeks.” Puck shrugged at her lunch choices. “Not judging. Salads can be not boring some times.” He ordered his food when the waitress arrived and asked for a refill on his soda, needing as much caffeine as possible to get through the rest of the day. As a comfortable silence fell over the table, he returned his focus on people watching outside. He was about to point out something funny when he heard her speak up once more. Puck fiddled with his straw wrapper as she thanked him for the space. Shrugging slightly, he glanced up at her. “I was just trying to do what was best for you. It’s obvious that we kinda lost ourselves for a bit there. And if we just kept going like nothing was wrong we would’ve ended up breaking up completely instead of just taking a break. But I’m glad things are working out for you. You found someone to talk to about everything?”

Biting at the inside of her cheek nervously, Peyton nodded. She didn’t need Puck to know everything she’d done over the past couple of weeks to move past what happened with their non-pregnancy, but she needed him to know she was okay. “Yeah... I did,” she mumbles, momentarily distracted when the waitress returns with the soda and the coffee. Coffee was essential pre-exams seeing that sleep was almost non-existent. After quietly thanking her, she brings the hot drink to her lips and lifts her shoulder in tiny shrug. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She commented, still looking down at her drink. “I guess I just really wanted it more than I thought I did. The timing was awful, but... it would have been ours. And then I blamed myself... and my body.” Her lips twist and she finally looked up at him with a small smile. “I’m okay though. I know these things happen... I mean, I’m going to be a doctor in a week so it’s basically my job to know the science.” Peyton held the coffee in her hands, wishing she was able to nudge him or touch him somehow. Why are tables so big? “I have missed you though, Puck.” A lot. But bringing too much sappy out at Puck all at once was never a good thing. Unless they were naked. Which, unfortunately, was not the case.

His fingers tapped the side of his glass as he listened to her explain what happened between them. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. None of this was or is your fault. Shit happens. Life isn’t fair sometimes. When it’s the right time…it’ll happen. It just wasn’t the right time for us. I’m not going to hold it against you, Peyton,” he said with a shrug. His life had been full of bad luck and shitty situations, so he was unfortunately used to things going wrong for him. He would never blame Peyton for something that was out of his control. His issue was with how she acted towards him after all was said and done. Reaching across the table with both hands, his fingers ran down her forearms slowly before grabbing her hands with his. “I’ve missed you too, Peyton.” He squeezed her hands softly and looked up at her. “I really am glad you’re doing better.”

Peyton shook her head slowly, “That’s not exactly what I meant. I’ve come far enough to know that what happened wasn’t actually my fault. Or anyones. But at the time... I didn’t believe that. I kind of have this bad habit of not asking for help when I need it. So I started to believe that you were seeing me the way I was seeing me. Or I was scared that you were going to? Which don’t worry, I don’t believe anymore, but you were right. I got insecure. I mean, more than the normal occasional Peyton insecure moments, and I took it out on you. So... I didn’t mean to hurt you. I guess I just need you to know that it wasn’t you, it was me. And I’m sorry for making you believe that I don’t think the best in you.” So much for not rambling. She sighed quietly, and lifted her gaze to Puck for a beat. When he leaned forward and ran his finger tips down her arms to her hands, she finally let out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding since she got here. “Me too,” She murmured, squeezing his hand back tighter than she’d meant to. “That’s all the deep things I had to say today. Oh! and Lexi says hi. She drew on the wall the other day and told me she was tattooing the house, safe to say she also misses you.”

He listened to her ramble away quietly. It was a bummer that she had been struggling for that long and he hadn’t even noticed. Sighing, he squeezed her hands softly. “Hey it’s chill. You can stop apologizing. At some point we gotta like…put this stuff behind us so we can move forward or we’re always going be stuck,” he shrugged. Puck played with her fingers for a moment. Chuckling at her Lexi story, he nodded his head in understanding. “I drew on SO many walls when I was a kid. My mom would whoop my ass every time. She obviously didn’t appreciate my budding artistic talent.” Puck let go of her hands and leaned back as the waiter came by and placed Peyton’s cheese fries on the table between them. “Don’t let Devon know that you’re cheating on his cheese fries.”

“If only she knew you’d grow up to be the second best tattoo artist in the state,” she smiled softly, looking down at their fingers for a moment before the waitress returned. There were two things she wanted right now more than anything: to pass her exams and become a vet, and to not be “stuck” in pause with the person she loves. Oh, and for Lexi to stop using the word ‘fuck’ at school. She chuckled as he spoke, reaching for a cheese fry and placing it in her mouth. “You know I’m terrible at keeping secrets, the likelihood of me blurting it out the next time I see him — which will probably be tonight, because what is cooking? — is incredibly high. I’ll just tell him his are better. Devon is understanding, everything will brie alright.” Peyton didn’t want to push Puck. With him she’d learned that sometimes it’s better for him to do things in his own time and his own way. If keeping things light was what what was needed right now for their whatevership, then she could do just that. “Cheese fry?” She offered, leaning over to hold the fry up to him. “Don’t expect mind blowing.”

“Don’t think about it as keeping a secret…think about it as lying to protect poor little Devon’s feelings.” He couldn’t help but roll his eyes and chuckle at her cheese pun. “You dork,” he commented softly. Puck glanced from her face down to the fry she was offering him. Leaning forward, he grabbed the fry with his mouth, making sure to press his lips to her fingertips before pulling away. He pretended to be deep in thought as he chewed and swallowed the cheese fry. “Devon’s are still better. Maybe it’s because I only call him when I’m drunk or high…but his are just better.” Taking a sip of his soda, he leaned back as the water came by with the rest of their food. “How’s studying going? I heard McKenna came up with a pretty interesting incentive program to help you out,” he said with a smirk.

“Whatever the reason, he knows his cheese fries. I’m not sure how I survived without him for so long,” she chuckled, still feeling her fingertips tingle from where his lips had pressed against them. When the food comes, Peyton looked down at the salad and pushed it around on her plate for a second before take a bite. Next to cheese fries, salads aren’t nearly as exciting. With his next question, Peyton had to swallow quickly to stop herself from choking slightly. “Oh my god,” She murmured, bringing her hands to her face to hide the way her cheeks were blushing underneath them. “Of course she did.” Dropping her hands, she glanced up at him returning the smirk on his lips. “Strip studying. It’s the new and improved studying technique to ensure you ace your finals. Very effective. Wanna take part?”

Puck laughed loudly at her reaction to him knowing about the strip studying shenanigans the girls got into. His kept laughing as her face turned red. Smirking, he took a bite from his chicken sandwich as she calmed down. His smirk grew at her offer to take part. “Mmmm…I dunno. I don’t think I’d look as good in that lingerie as McKenna did. You’d probably wanna do whatever you can do to keep my clothes on,” he joked. Puck took a couple more bites of his food. “You know…I am a little disappointed in you. I mean I’m impressed that you had the will power to see McKenna in that outfit and not rip it off of her…but a little disappointed that you didn’t take advantage of the situation.”

She laughed quietly, biting down hard on her bottom lip and silently urging her cheeks to stop blushing. “You’re right, I’m not sure you could pull off the lingerie she did. It’s your lack of butt, sorry. But I am rather partial to seeing you without clothes on... and it’s all about incentive to get questions right”. With this particular conversation, she momentarily ditched the salad and turned her attention back to the fries. Comfort food also included embarrassment food, right? “Hey! I stripped too when I got answers wrong,” she replied, holding out a defensive finger to Puck. “I mean, it was hard. McKenna is perfect and I will watch her strip any day of the week, but... I guess my body still wants something else. And I’ve become pretty great at making it work by myself until I get it.” She shrugged slightly, cocking her head with a half smile. “How do you know what outfit she was wearing? Do I need to be concerned you’re peeping in my living room windows, Puck Puckerman?”

He nodded his head in agreement to her statement. “No butt would be an issue. I also don’t know if I’d be able to fit the little general in those panties. And accidentally nuttage is not sexy,” he joked before taking a bite out of a french fry. “Okay so both of you were pretty much almost naked and you guys didn’t fuck?? Come on, Hudson. I thought you were better than that.” He raised his eyebrow at her following statement. “Been putting that bottom drawer vibrator to good use?” He ran his hand through his hair as he pictured it for a moment. A laugh from his lips at her accusation. “No no. She pulled a Peyton and wrong number texted me the previews that were meant for you.”

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his comment, chuckling softly to herself. This disappointment she could deal with. Peyton was a lot of things, but her heart — and her body, apparently — were both stubbornly loyal. “It’s been moved to the top draw.” She quipped simply, the smirk growing on her lips. “Easier access that way.” Peyton took a few more bites of the salad, now thinking about the pizza she was definitely going to be ordering tonight. “Wow, I’m hurt I never got the previews. But the real thing was better.” Peyton teased, leaning back into the chair and running her fingers through her hair. It was nice to talk to him like this. Sex is nothing short of amazing, but Puck was also one of her best friends before this. And contrary to what a lot of people believe, their whatever ship was more being together than just hot sex. “I may regret the salad.”

“It’s like a minor league player being called up to the majors. Time for his big debut,” he joked. He smirked and pulled out his phone, pulling up the photos that McKenna sent him. “The black looked pretty damn good. But I think she made the right move going with the white,” he said as he slid his phone across the table for her to look at. Grabbing his knife, he cut his chicken sandwich in half. He took the untouched half and placed it on Peyton’s plate. “I won’t tell if you don’t tell. There’s lettuce and tomato on it so it’s like…kinda healthy.” Leaning back in his seat, he popped a couple of fries into his mouth.

She raised a brow as she looked down at the photos, nodding to herself and agreeing in Puck’s assessment. “I can’t argue with that. The white was really hot... Best wrong text you’ve ever received?” She laughed and slid the phone back to Puck across the table. Her eyes widened when half of the sandwich was placed on her plate, and it was yet another thing she wasn’t going to argue with. “It can be our secret,” she muttered, reaching down to take a bite of food that didn’t taste like rabbits food and humming contently as it hits her mouth. “I take back everything I said about wanting to eat healthy. I’ll just stick to running and pacing nervously through my house.” Peyton picked up the coffee cup, holding it firmly between her hands as she let the last couple of sips of caffeine get into her. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me today,” she said quietly, placing it down and brushing her hair behind her ear. In habit more than anything else.

Puck looked at her and shook his head. “Studying burns a shit ton of calories or something like that. I dunno. I never really studied so I always had to go to the gym,” he joked as he finished the rest of his food. Pushing the plate away from him, he leaned back in his chair and gestured for the check from the passing waiter. “You don’t gotta make it sound like this was pure torture for me. I like seeing you. This wasn’t a business meeting. It was just us hanging out,” he replied. Puck pulled out his wallet to pay for their lunch, giving the waiter his credit card and waving him off before Peyton could try to pay for herself. “Next time we should hang when neither of us have to go back to work or studying.” He thanked the waiter and signed the receipt before pocketing his card. Standing up, he offered her his hand. “Ready to roll?”

Peyton sighed softly, really wishing he didn’t read into everything she said like that. It was just a thank you. She might have been okay, but it seemed like he was still waiting for her to say the wrong thing. “I invited you out to lunch. And I ate half of your food... I really should have paid for lunch,” she pointed out with an eye roll. Accepting his hand, she stood up from the booth and followed him out of the restaurant. “Can we not go this long again without seeing each other?” She asked once outside, reaching her free hand up and brushing her thumb over his cheek gently. “I guess I should go back to studying,” she muttered as she stood to her toes and pressed her lips against his cheek lovingly. “Don’t be a stranger, Puck.”

[really-sleep-deprived-nerd]

Feelings Are Odd

Summary: Both Logan and Virgil are in love but confused about what “Love” is. They find a nice solution though.

Pairing: Analogical

Words: 1734

Warnings: None that I can think off. Maybe a tad bit out of character?? Yeah probably Logan is like Very Sappy in this one so. Out of character.

Notes: Do you guys remember that post I made of me using the Nerds TM to vent about my problems with feelings??? Yeah this is the fic and also what goes through my head when I like someone.

I have the first draft for a part two but the chances of me finishing it are infinitesimal, so sorry about that.

Logan knocked on virgil's door and calmly waited for the other to open it. Virgil poked his head from behind the door, looking confused and tired, but when he saw Logan, he smiled.

“Oh, hey L, do you need something?” Virgil asked and Logan nodded.

“Yes, I am in need of your assistance. I am attempting to understand a very strange and complicated feeling I have been having as of late and I would appreciate if you could help me do so.” Logan answered and Virgil gave him a confused look.

“Uh, I'm not saying I won't help you, but, why do you want my help? I mean, I don't understand half of my own feelings most of the time and on top of that, you know a person that is literally feelings personified, so why don't you ask him?” The anxious side asks as he leans on the doorframe.

“While it might be true that you have problems understanding your own feelings, there is no way you could fare worse than me in this emotions matters.” Virgil snorted at that and Logan continued. “And in regards to why I don't ask Patton, the reason is very simple: While Im aware that he and Roman should be considered experts on these matters, they both seem to experience said feelings a lot stronger than I do and I believe they won't be able to completely understand what I mean because of that and my own inability to express my emotions.”

Virgil nods and Logan continues explaining his line of thought. “Since you seem to be the most calm and rational out of the three of the remaining sides I consider myself friends with I thought you might be the best suited to assist me in coming to a conclusion about this.”

“Fair enough. Want us to go to your room? This looks like it's going to be a long chat and we both know what my room does to anyone who stays for too long and if what you want to talk about is important enough for you to ask for help, then I think you would want to keep your head clear for that.”

Logan stopped and thought for a second before nodding. “You are very correct, follow me please.”

The more they approached Logan´s room the more Logan seemed to grow, ironically enough, anxious. Once they were in Logan's room, Virgil sitting cross legged in Logan's desk chair and Logan sitting on his bed, the logical side looked almost scared.

“Well, nerd, spill, what's up?”

“I'm going to say this and I beg of you to don't freak out or get angry at me.” Virgil raised an eyebrow at that and looked at Logan squinting.

“Your feelings are about me, aren't they?” It sounded less like a question and more like an affirmation and Logan sighed.

“Yes, and even though they aren't bad, far from it actually, I'm starting to believe that maybe asking your help wasn't the brightest of ideas”

“No shit sherlock.” Virgil actually laughed. “Logan trust me, its fine, you did what you thought was better and most rational. Honestly, if I wasn't such an anxious mess I would have probably asked for your help with basically the same problem a long time ago.” Logan seemed to physically relax for a second, but then he looked at Virgil confused.

“Why would have you asked my help with feelings?”

“When I feel something strong for someone my anxiety tends to cloud my judgment and makes me second guess my own feelings a lot and it's literally the most frustrating shit I have ever dealt with. I need unbiased logic to try and differentiate what are my true feelings and what are a product of my own fears and anxieties”

“Oh, in that case, feel free to come to me when you are having trouble with that, I will help you to the best of my ability.”

Virgil smiled at him and then gestured at Logan to continue. “Thanks L, now, you were saying, feelings?”

“Ah, yes, I believe I might be harboring romantic feelings towards you, but I'm not entirely sure if they are truly romantic feelings or if they are merely some extremely strong platonic feelings.” Logan said with his face neutral, even if you could hear a tint of nervousness in his voice. Virgil blinked owlishly at him for a second, and then he almost started laughing. Almost.

“Of course, of fucking course you are having the same doubt I have. Goddamnit Logan.” Virgil pinched the bridge of his nose and Logan looked at him curiously.

“Im afraid I don't understand what you mean by “same doubt you have”, would you care to elaborate?”

“I meant that ,remember what I said earlier about my anxiety making me doubt my feelings? Well, I meant exactly that. I have literally the same problem: I think I like you, but I'm not sure if I really like you-like you or if I just really really enjoy your company.” Virgil explained and Logan nodded in understanding. A extremely faint blush creeped up on both of their faces.

“Oh, am I correct in assuming by how irritated you sound that you havent reached a conclusion regarding your feelings?” Virgil nodded and Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then there is a big chance that this conversation will be useless, given the fact that we are both completely lost.”

“I'm not so sure about that.” Virgil argued. “I mean, so far we both have been dealing with our feelings alone and just thinking about them and I'm pretty sure I read something that said that talking about feelings made it easier for you to understand them and deal with them.”

“I believe you might be right, but if we are going to start talking and analyzing my feelings then we are going to do the exact thing with you.”

“Fair enough.” Virgil conceded. “The most basic question to ask is: What do you feel?”

“Has that ever worked for you?”

Virgil barked a laugh at that and shook his head. “No, but you are a lot more smarter than I am, L.”

“Falsehood, we both are brilliant in our own ways.” Logan sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. “It would be wonderful if our brilliancy would apply to the matters of the heart too.”

“Logan you are avoiding my question and you know it.” Virgil reminded. “What do you feel?”

“I…” Logan paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “I feel quite warm and happy when I'm near you, very much comfortable and relaxed, which is odd because I tend to be incredibly stressed most of the time. Have you ever felt something like that? Like you are at peace when you are near me?”

“Yes, actually I, uh, feel like that too, but you put it in words that actually make sense, the difference with me is that instead of stressed I tend to be anxious most of the time.”

“Then I just have this sudden thoughts that feel so strange, but so right at the same time.”

“How? Like when you start rambling about things that you are passionate about and the only thing that comes to my mind is “I could listen to him for hours”?” Virgil asked, just a tad bit embarrassed  Logan nodded, blushing just a tiny bit.

“Exactly like that, and even if i'm pretty sure that thinking things like that should be a tell-tale sign that my feelings are indeed romantic I can't help but doubt it because…”

“Because you started having this kind of thoughts after you started entertaining the idea that you might like me?” Virgil supplied and Logan nodded.

“Yes, that and the fact that usually romantic feelings come hand in hand with a feeling of nervousness when you are around the object of your affection and that one should have a bit of trouble speaking coherently or eloquently when near them, but I just feel nothing but warm and peace.”

“Yeah! And people say that when you love someone you are bound to grow jealous of them but I just feel nothing??? Like, why would I feel jealous?? First of all you are my friend, so your happiness comes first and second why the fuck would I care?? If we were dating I trust you to no fuck things up and and since we aren't it's not my damn business to feel like that!”

“Yes! My exact thoughts!” Logan exclaimed.

They grew quiet for a minute or so, until the logical side spoke again.

“Also, it really scares me how fast I know I could just squish this feelings, you know? Like, Im aware that if I ever confessed-”

“Logan we kinda just did that.” Virgil interrupted, heavily amused.

“Yes I know let me finish explaining this- and you didn't feel the same, as long as our friendship keeps onwards like it currently is, I wouldn't really mind that much, and people always seem to be so heartbroken when their crushes don't feel the same about them.”

“I get you, yeah. As long as you are in my life I wouldn't mind staying platonic, Im happy to just get hugs and cuddles.” Virgil said and Logan nodded, a soft smile on his face. “But, the thing is, that was when we were in the dark about what the other felt, and now we know we literally feel the exact same, so, my question is: What do we do now?”

“Excellent question: I have no clue.” Logan practically deadpanned and Virgil laughed.

“Maybe we should just, like, take things slow and keep going how we are right now, but maybe listening to our feelings just a bit more.”

“That sounds satisfactory, but may I inquire what exactly do you mean by listening to our feelings just a bit more?” Logan asked. “Do you mean like when you rest your head in my lap while you are mindlessly scrolling through your phone and Im reading and  instead of  having to physically restrain myself from start brushing your hair with my fingers like I usually do, I should just, do it?” Logan asked, blushing lightly and Virgil smiled fondly at him.

“Yeah, exactly like that.” He said, stretching as he got up from the chair. “Wanna go watch a movie downstairs?”

“Yes, that would be wonderful.”

[honeybee-babe]

cw for ed-ish stuff so feel free to skip if you aren't in the right place of mind to deal with that: I've been really strugling with binging urges lately and I was wondering if you could share some Luther hcs or other thoughts you've had about him and food stuff? How do you think it would go if one of the others walked in on him binging (someone who's sympathic about it)?

TW: Eating disorders and body dysmorphia, mentions of sexual assault

oof i’ve let this sit here for far too long. soz! been busy af. :( 

First off, I hope things have gotten better for yoU!! I have been in a similar boat lately literally binging and restricting for weeks on end. It’s getting better but it really is hard to break these cycles, it requires a lot of strength. But you are strong enough and i know you can get through it

ANYWAY:

HCs and Thoughts on Luther’s ED (this got very wordy/rambly):

tbh i see luther as a comfort eater, esp. bc he ate those 10 hot dogs when he was sad and feeling sorry for himself. yes finding out that reginald was lying to him was awful and truly traumatic but people without already disordered eating don’t just up and eat 10 hotdogs when they’re sad. that is an extreme binge for someone at any size, plus he seemed ashamed of it when allison brought it up: AND not to mention the only other thing we ever see him eat post-change is a weird nutritional pouch and eventually alcohol.

on the moon, Luther must have eaten in rations and definitely would have been counting calories. Plus with the nutritional pouch thing we can assume he is restricting when back on earth and the hotdogs were a binge, therefore Luther is a binge/restricter.

EVEN in the flashback to before the serum we see him eating way too little for his size (way too little for his size before the change, mind you). He eats a single bowl of cereal without any juice or anything to wash it down, which is just not an adequate breakfast for Tom Hopper’s Actual Body(TM), especially if he was going to train later that day. And then after this sad breakfast he drinks a ton of milk. IDK if this is a stretch but that in itself is kind of disordered; the milk was definitely a comfort food for him which indicates that he is an emotional eater (IE extra calories because he feels lonely), a predisposition to disordered eating before the serum. He clearly prefers to get most of his calories from liquids, which continues and gets worse after the change.

I imagine Reginald was particularly strict with him about food. Since his power was physical strength, Reginald probably gave him a strict diet and exercise routine. Counting macros and calories, etc. Going under or over his limit was probably a huge, HUGE fucking deal. And maintaining perfect body image as the big, strong #1 was definitely a giant deal to Reginald bc Luther had to look intimidating. That, along with the pressure to be perfect, is a recipe for anorexia or bulimia. Luther definitely is the type to take corrective measures: binging and then following it with purging or restricting, or intense exercise.

Additionally, with the smiley-faced foods, I imagine the kids were taught to see Grace’s food as comfort. I see Grace giving them treats to make them feel better when Reginald was a dick. These good intentions definitely could have convinced Luther that food was comfort and nurturing but something Reginald wouldn’t allow him to have. So the overwhelming urge to eat and eat and eat (BINGE) when he is very upset, followed by an urge to restrict.

And definitely a deep, deep shame about all of this. If anyone found out, Luther would be crushed.

Literally the stereotype for someone with an eating disorder is someone who feels they lack control over their life trying to overcompensate by controlling their food intake. And someone who is striving to be perfect either because someone has told them they have to be (*COUGH*Reginald) or convinced them that they will never be good enough unless they are (*COUGH*Also Reginald). Luther embodies this mentality; he wants to be perfect for Reginald, but Reginald has set Luther up to hate himself because he can never be perfect (perfection is a myth), and also Luther has literally no control over his life because Reginald controls everything. It is thought that many young teenagers develop eating disorders because they are afraid of the changes their bodies experience during puberty, the underlying problem being that they are afraid of growing up; Luther literally still lives at home and is absolutely afraid of growing up.

Ape body obviously makes things 100000x worse. And we see in the show that his poor eating habits (small bowl of cereal and relying on milk for liquid calories/comfort food) have gotten even worse (liquid calories in packages clearly restricted until a MASSIVE binge on hotdogs)

MIGHT I ADD: Sexual assault survivors are much more likely to experience disordered eating because the lack of control over what happened to them and the hatred of the body that has been “tainted” or reminds them of being assaulted..... Luther’s consent over his body was clearly taken away during the ape-body operation.

Thoughts on Someone Walking in on him Binging:

This is real tough. I feel like Allison isn’t really aware of it due to her reaction to him eating 10 hotdogs and not saying anything about it. IDC if he is big, 10 hotdogs is abnormal especially given how little he used to eat, and the fact that he currently only eats those weird fucking packages. I feel like, loving as she is, she wouldn’t really understand it. I feel like Allison has a really healthy relationship with food, probably the healthiest out of all of them. She is the most well-balanced sibling I think. But once she realized it was a problem she would do a ton of research into BED/Bulimia/EDNOS or whatever Luther has and become an expert and advocate, as well as helping him in recovery.

Same with Diego but I feel like he would probably joke about it and then after Luther either told him to fuck off or hide the evidnece, he would realize it was a serious problem but not want to apologize or know what to do. I feel like he’d be concerned but not want to express it, so he’d tell Klaus about it and make him bring it up. After Luther entered into recovery Diego would keep updated through Klaus but not express concern to Luther himself. 

Five... oof I feel like Five would just be like “yup thats how i ate during the apocalypse” and not really understand? Like i don’t think he’s evil but he would probably not find it very serious. Once he found out (if he ever did) that it was serious, I feel like he’d be accomodating (checking in if Luther ate his dinner, if he snuck food out of the pantry etc.) but not particularly warm or comforting.

TBH I see Klaus and Vanya being the most understanding Vanya would definitely understand the urge to make yourself seem as small/insignificant as possible, and Klaus obviously understands mental health issues and addiction (ED is an addiction!) 

Klaus might not realize what was going on at first and make a joke, but i think he’d realize real soon bc he understands unhealthy coping. he would probably joke around with him still in the same way that he jokes about his own addictions, but i feel like he would be very comforting, like solidarity yknow? Maybe he would make a pact with him that they would recover from their addictions together.

I feel like Vanya would just be super supportive and quietly soothing. Like if Luther got uncomfortable she would use a rlly soft caring voice. this is sappy but i feel like if Luther was ever to talk openly to a sibling or cry in front of one of them about his body issues, it would be Vanya.

OKAY THAT WAS WAY TOO LONG OF A RESPONSE AND I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

NIGHT NIGHT!!