#so tbh i SHOULD go the fuck to sleep | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

equalseleventhirds · 1 year

Text

the more gomens2 i consume the stronger the urge grows to go 'if x event had happened in the bookverse it would've been y instead'

but that would be fun only for me and like, five select mutuals, and would simply torment everyone else and probably draw the ire of some fans. so i won't.

#honestly i just got out of a recording session which i jumped into shortly after home from work #so tbh i SHOULD go the fuck to sleep #might hang out n reblog some stuff. unrelated stuff. should defs stop watching gomens for tonight.#.....................book!aziraphale in 2023 would not only know what twitter is and how it works but would also have a deep disdain for it #with an additional shudder of horror once the rebranding happened #he also knows what grindr is but has never had occasion to use it. he's got other ways to get dates (telling crowley it's date night).#okAY I'M DONE #good omens blogging #gomens spoilers

41 notes · View notes

happyk44 · 3 months

Text

percy needs to be haunted by bianca's ghost more

#percy jackson #bianca di angelo #she doesn't even have to do it herself #he is just trapped in the horror of watching someone die and never recovering from the guilt that follows #like i thin we should talk more about how she was the first permanent death of the series and the first death he really witnessed #i think he should be more deranged by it tbh #painfully devoted to nico's health and happiness in a way that skips the border of unhealthy and jumps straight into fucked up #even better if bianca doesn't care. and nico has moved on. so the only person who is stuck in this void of misery about it is percy #and he can't emerge. no matter what he does no matter the time that passes she is always there in the back of his mind #a reminder of the first time he failed to protect someone else.#a reminder of his selfishness. his inability to follow through on promises. of his powerlessness. his uselessness.#in tbotl he finds out that nico doesn't care about him or his soul. he doesn't want percy dead. and percy is weirdly gutted by this #he needs nico to hate him and it freaks him out that nico doesn't. he's clearly upset but percy isn't centered in it the way you'd think.#nico has his own mission and percy is barely a side note in it and he's so bothered by that. it drives him up the wall #how selfish is it to be upset with someone for not hating you because you got their sister killed?#he hates himself so much. he wants to die so bad. but he can't. he has to keep going. for nico. for bianca. he doesn't have a choice #happy talks pjo #okay it is 3:36am and i am. going to try to sleep now

176 notes · View notes

b4kuch1n · 11 months

Text

about ready

#pokemon #swsh #gym leader raihan #ft. flygon #had a vivid vision of this pose the other day and had to draw it. thats all thank you #I think after flygon's first appearance in anipoke whenever it comes up again the artists just go ''fuck it whatever''#and draw the legs however they want. it's basically a dinosaur in pmd #this is good for me bc I dont know shit abt fuck #flygon poses really well for how kinda awkward it looks on its own... but I also think abt like #duraludon being in the carwash. practically all the time its all I think about tbh #rest assured.#mim's infected me with the goggles vision I see raihan now I immediately wanna put a goggles on that man #they arent wrong tho. is the thing #is flygon an insect or a reptile.... the tail suggest something like a dragonfly but the neck doesnt seem to have #the shell structure that'd let it bend. thats at least skin #well. flygon is shapes. thats what it is. I enjoy it #I should sleep now... so many things happened today #I really gotta prep the fish tomorrow. dang. so many things on the list for tomorrow too...#have a good night lads. achieve flight

243 notes · View notes

moonkhao · 1 month

Text

hi.

#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone #but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3 #it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere #like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july #which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault #i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY #anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like #flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation #i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D #and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen #it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold #(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all #like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love #ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place #anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls #and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE #he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual #i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now #i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3 #AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks #@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3

64 notes · View notes

shepards-folly · 1 year

Text

WHO NEEDS GOD WHEN YOU CAN BE WORSHIPPED LIKE ONE?!

#shep arts #content smp #csmp #doctor4t #this was supposed to go up after i finished it but again i went back to sleep so uhm good morning part two here's more contentsmp #my friend said it was a crime for me to draw arathain without R4T cause i talk about them together so much #anyway lol drew this really quick so it doesnt parallel arathains properly also its just kinda wack in some places #i think they were just teasing me but i mean yeah.. I cannot shut the fuck up about them once i get started #honestly i still have no idea how to draw R4T... I think this is like the third time I've drawn him :/#scratch that actually i dont know how to draw anyone on the csmp and thats a sin I need to atone for #we'll see if i draw more lol. i keep going I should draw this and then not drawing that at all #typical neurodivergent swag moment tbh #btw the caption is roughly taken from attention seeking demon by winchifrost #i think that's the lyric but tbh rn all the stuff bouncing around my head are all just song lyrics but a bit wrong so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

154 notes · View notes

swordmaid · 1 year

Text

why is this dialogue in astarion’s sex scene im crying

#she really said don’t fuck with me I have the power of god and anime by my side 😭#she had like three options to sleep with one was gale but I’m not rlly feeling him for shri’iia so I did not #second was lae’zal BUT I want her to romance shadowheart not SHRI’IIA 😭 like pleek go to her j want y’all to continue #ur enemies to lovers arc (delusion)#so I went with astarion but that dialogue made me howl like relax??????? omg unclench a little 😭😭😭#but now idk if I want continue his romance good thing I’m not locked ..!!!#but tbh I don’t interact w the companions unless there’s like an exclamation point lol I should prob do ….#shut up about bg3.

37 notes · View notes

thxnks4themrms · 10 months

Text

I don’t Like it being quiet I feel like a can hear voices erm

Like not in my head but like around me 💀😭

#uh #how do I go back to sleep #also my fucking headphones aren’t charged and I can’t find my AirPods so I’m kinda fucked #need water #still #damn I’ve been really dehydrated lately #I should use ray toro as my water bottle #tbh #mcr #my chemical romance #ray toro #shitty 3 am post #again

18 notes · View notes

baekuras · 1 year

Text

Resident Evil really makes me wanna become an unhinged scientist creating horrors beyond our comprehension yet made of our own flesh and maybe a sprinkle of virus/parasite/mold in it to give it some extra ooomph

#txts #this is mostly about re4 bc its on my mind rn #the las plaga is like a dog to me #look if its big enough to be petable at some point then its a puppy-i dont make the rules #its just a more fucked up spider #which then growns into an even more fucked up spider hiding in a human suit i guess #the usual things y'know #i say this but the concept of parasite(anime) fucked me up #just the thought that i could sleep and SMTH could crawl into my ear-fucking disgusting oh god who thought of that no please #nothing you can do except die i guESS #good aesthetics there too tho #fleshy long bits with knives on the end are just a go-to-aesthetic for me i guess #i rly should go buy re4make tbh #like i already watched others play through it and enjoyed that #but i also saw some achievemtns which also made me wanna try my hand on this #which is a first #but expected tbh #resident evil #little me thought i could be whoever does autopsies bc A i cant smell B i am not easily grossed out at all and C if i studied just a bit #more and had the energy for it I could do smth smart but i dont wanna do smth like doctor smart so...dead ppl #this is just that but with extra steps and more corpses walking #to be fair-young me also thought i could go find a way to become immortal if i only managed to get cells to stop dying out #which seems really easy #but like...i am NOT a doctor so dear god do not quote my hubris here #'just stop dying'->younger me #so yes i would like all the funding and all the experimental fluids and.....things 👀 in the world to play god with thx <3 #it's been quite a week i am sure you can tell

68 notes · View notes

holedyke · 6 months

Text

of course the night i need to get to bed at a reasonable hour bc i have a early rise is ruined by my own brain working me up into a complete meltdown 😵‍💫 i am a prisoner to myselfffff

#i feel so so bad. tbh #tw for child abuse but i need to vent #i was watching a rlly good doc series on behavioral schools for teens which are pretty horrific and even though i never went through #anything like that. but just hearing the subjects from the doc talk about how they feel ruined after being destroyed like that as kids just #has me really emotional and i cant stop thinking about it bc i feel the same way i feel like ill never be who i could have or should have #been but what i went through just ruined me and ill never be okay i just feel fragile and mournful of myself i know nothing could have #saved me like its some big cosmic joke on me. and i never did anything to deserve that #no kid does amd yet it fucking happens and it happened to me witj zero repercussions which is almost what hurts the most #i just feel like a goddamn blubbering mess with a knawing black pit in my heart and i am never going to get to sleep at this point.#fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk i just for once would like to feel okay about my past and my future like is this the me that ill always be?#broken and blubbering? fuck it feels awful. anyway. prob delete later but i just needed it off my chest #h

9 notes · View notes

ubike-official · 4 months

Text

as i said b4, cant wait til I'm 30 to experience my own yuri cherry maho. its gonna be great

#ive been trying in the past 8 months or so to give dating a go and I've concluded that 1. the apps arent for me also i cant rlly trust an #dating app profile to actually pick a good partner. 2. i hate texting. i prefer in person unplanned low intensity meeting much more.#and 3. I'm not ready for it yet. i want to spend these next 2 years being selfish. i feel like I've never actually been able to be purposely #self centered and frankly a bit selfish. I've never done that. ive always been compromising for false narratives and expectations in ny head #and I'm tired. i dont think i can be a good partner rn until ive had my fill of self centered ness b4 i can progress to a healthy medium.#I'm open and of the right person comes along i trust myself to not drive them away out of habit and hyper independence #but fuck yk. as mich as i want it. its nit for me. tho tbh i do think i should kiss random ppl in bars just once this year bc like.#i havent done that in .. oh god 6 years. mitski was right. one good movie kiss yk #but yea. hhh its 10pm i need to sleep but alas i cannot

4 notes · View notes

sea-buns · 2 months

Text

its been two years since i was last taking a class of any kind and man. i forgot how hard it was for me. especially online? like i did all of high school online. bad time for an undiagnosed adhd kid lol. but now medicated and only doing one class two times a week? still so fucking hard. learning i do not do well on someone else's pacing. and the constant reminders of your own inability are so damn heavy.

#hard to sit through a 3 hour live class KNOWING that youre gonna be spending even longer going over it all again later #working on getting ADA accommodations its just a process #and waiting on some emails so i can get a physical textbook cuz god does it help to hold the thing #AND trying to feel out when i should be taking my meds cuz its a night class. i was doing so well on my sleep/waking schedule #but now its all just fucked :/#whats nice at least is that theyre doing math things rn that i can afford to half listen to cuz i did a bunch of notes on my own last week #feel like im gonna need to get that textbook and just do as much as i can alone notewise #trying to keep up is impossible #sea rambles #personal #adhd #academic vent #gonna be lots of those in the next few months tbh

3 notes · View notes

tianshiisdead · 10 months

Text

Forget school actually please send hate to distract me from no money I'm so hungry o(-( dunno how much longer I can go with the 1 food item per day money saving scheme to attempt to afford rent

#diary #eating issues cw #not bc eating disorder for oncebut yk #mfw my periods stopped #idk if bc food or stress but wehhhhhhhhhhh hewp me #mfw ottawa unlivable rn #next sem student loans should save me for a while but they dont come till Jan...#like. ive been here before but im rlly sick this time (im usually sick but lol) and then exams on top of that and stress abt grandparents #im excited to see parents for xmas bc i feel like i cant continue on sometimes and i dont feel safe being alone in my flat #esp bc its so... like. dark aand small yk and i get claustrophobia but housing is so expensive rn so its the only place i could afford #idk idk its nothing new but im at the end of my line rn #ive been sleeping w the lights on despite cost bc paranoia and i think its fucking with me tbh tbh but again claustrophobia #like in general idk if i can go on like this 🗿🗿#i feel so sick and cold every day and also tired nd its hard to study when im scared to buy water bc card may decline and my fridge is empty

11 notes · View notes

mutalune · 3 months

Text

hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery