#idk idk its nothing new but im at the end of my line rn

[tianshiisdead]

Forget school actually please send hate to distract me from no money I'm so hungry o(-( dunno how much longer I can go with the 1 food item per day money saving scheme to attempt to afford rent

[hecksupremechips]

Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

[ganondoodle]

so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)

(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)

someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"

so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc

secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)

then theres this reply

astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"

i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders

"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!

and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well

and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this

[slowdripsunrise]

MORE READING UPDATES OMLLLLLLL i forgor about this blog again. it will happen again tbh but i still have to go through all of the books i finished in late 2023 up to now... i'm gonna try and get as many as i can done but probably wont get all of them lol. probably very long post/rant + spoilers for various books under the cut

keep in mind i have shit memory and all of these books were finished a while ago so be warned for bad analysis and summaries

-How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu: this book was a collection of short stories that are interconnected through characters and a central storyline - a plague. i thought the concept was super interesting and i had heard really good things about it from people i share a reading taste with so i went into this expecting to be blown away and i just. wasnt. i LOVED some of the short stories and there were a few that made me cry, mainly snortorious and the robot dog story where the mom died, but other than that it was kinda a let down. the ending fucking sucked ngl. like i thought we were leading up to some profound moment, especially calling back to the chapter where people are relieving their memories in the dark, because i thought that was really compelling and interesting, but it was just fucking aliens. like it reallly feels like a cop out to me. like a whole "and it was all just a dream" type ending. im not gonna rate it actually yes i am i'd give it like 2.5-3 stars. only because some of the chapters were super hard hitting but other than that. meh.

-The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater: WHOOOOO BOY. i ate this shit up. god if i had read this in middle school or high school i am 100% certain it would have become my entire personality. like i fucking get it. i totally fucking get it. i'm treating the whole series as one book rn bc they all kinda blend together in my mind and its been a while but just. the fucking vibes. good lord the vibes were so good. can't pick out any 100% certain things i particularly noticed but i will reblog every webweave about this series there is trust. rating the entire series as 5 stars mostly because i listened to the audiobook and they did SUCH A GOOD JOB ON TH E AUDIOBOOK OML like. at first i was kinda thrown off bc i wasn't expecting it to be so. southern? but once i finished the first one i knew there was no way i could just go back to reading it with a physical book like audiobook all the way the narrator was so awesome and i love the southernness of it.

-What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher: my first t. kingfisher book! i loved the vibes, the world, the whole new set of pronouns, that shit was so fun, overall a nice short and sweet creepy ass fucking book. like im a huge wimp so i was deffo nervous and freaked out at some points, especially with the rabbits lol idk why but those were unnerving. the author did a really good job of conveying the mc's anxiety and fear while also adding in some humor and soldier rationality and stoicism. lol. cute i liked it 3.5/4 stars.

-Fault Lines by Emily Itami: tbh mostly picked this one up for the cover and it was really just a standard cheating story where the mc gets back together with her original husband because of their kids. nothing i remember to be groundbreaking at all really. 2.5 stars

-Olga Dies Dreaming by Xochitl Gonzalez: I really wasn't expecting to like this book as much as I did. the pov changes i think were very well done and intentional and weren't confusing at all! the narrators for the audiobook were wonderful and really brought life to the story, a lovely book.

-She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan: honestly, looking back on it, i was never really captivated by this story. it took me a long time to get into it, and i really never connected with any of the characters. a lot of it was more confusing than not, and i'm honestly not sure if i feel the need to continue the series. may be a case of me not being in the right mood for it, but i don't see myself trying it again. kinda sad cuz i was excited to love this but oh well. win some lose some.

-Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr: hands down my fav book of 2023 and one of my fav books of all time. like i have a feeling this review is going to be either very long or very short because there is no way i will be able to write out all the ways i love this book. the owl motif. the environmental extremism from seymore that i can 100% relate to. the way that he fell down that path in a way that felt realistic to me, based on his circumstances, and it isn't implied in my opinion, that all autistic people are like this, that all autistic people can take things to the extreme like seymore did. the audiobook was wonderful. the interconnected stories over time i think is one of my new favorite tropes/plots/metas. if done well (cough how high we go in the dark) it gets me every single time. XENO and everything about him. i was listening to the audiobook at work and during his death i had to fight back tears lol. god. and the kids in the play and how they wanted to end the story.... fuck my life. and konstance and her curiosity and oh my god everything about this book messed me up. 5/5 i think thats all i'll be able to say before i combust.

-Chlorine by Jade Song: what a weird little book. really liked it. audiobook slayed. not much else to say. recommend for weird lesbians. 3.5/4 stars.

-A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson: THE AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT HER JOB I COULD LISTEN TO HER TALK ALL DAY I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH HER. the story was really good love a good vampire story love a good creepy story. fun time. listened to the audiobook in like an hour hour and a half car ride it was a good time. 3.5 stars.

and that ends off all of the books i read in 2023 !!!!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!! i'll stop here and make a separate post for the books i've read so far in 2024 just for organizational purposes and also because i am hungry and need to stop lol. if you made it this far through the post i love you and also sorry for the long rant but also too bad because this is my blog and you clicked on it. happy reading :)

[ilostyou]

school rant 🕺🏻

basically in the class i have with the fucking bad professor most of the graded assignment stuff is surrounding these mock counseling sessions we need to do and record and transcribe but! the participants we do mock therapy with can't be just anyone they have to be other students in my school (for like. liability issues) but also they can't/shouldn't be anyone we know bc. youre not supposed to do therapy on people you Know for obvious reasons so . finding a participant to begin with is hard enough (prof's idea was basically to have an exchange with the whole class and be like i have a friend who would be willing to and swap w someone else who has a friend you dont know etc) and the first assignment is due this week wed we have to submit a transcript of 5 min of the counseling session and sooooo just my luck the person i thought i had lined up for this actually basically backed out and i need to find a new one but?? i??? dont have anyone to???? and wed after class i got in touch w one of my Friendlies from class and then ended up emailing the whole class thursday night to be like heeyyyyyy guys i actually dont have anyone anymore so 🧍🏻‍♀️ if you have anyone 🧍🏻‍♀️ pls lmk 🧍🏻‍♀️ and heard zero so i was like fuck ok ig i have to email my Bad prof and. i sucked it up and emailed him last night but yay heard nothing and so i was like ?? bro time is runninggg out so i. emailed my class again then emailed my prof again and. nothing. until a bit ago then he posted an announcement on the class portal thing and was like ! her participant backed out if anyone has anyone etc but lmfao didnt answer my email?? so like yay for him acknowledging that i emailed him but he didnt fucking say a word abt. what if i dont find one in time and also in my original email i was like idk ik its a long shot but i do have someone who isn't a [redacted] student who would be willing to step in and sign the release papers and whatever so 🧍🏻‍♀️ if you could lmk either way thanks! and he justga jkghlskhjdgs didnt answer my email so im like ?? what do i DO like. he didnt know i emailed the class lol he wasnt on that email so now his asking isnt gonna do anything either and im like ... it's due wed in person so i basically have to have this finished by tuesday night. i need to have a 45 min counseling session done and then sit and transcribe it and have it done printed ready to go to bring to class wed night. and rn it's sunday night.

???????????????????????????????????

im stressed 🕺🏻 bc ?? i do not have a plan and he didnt even answer my dumb email so ?? i dont even have a backup plan??????

[m1ckeyb3rry]

It’s truly a monster of a work LOL maybe someday….the wc is fr insane maybe it’s what influenced you /j

HAHA “just make an oc” is CRAZY but SO TRUE like guys this isn’t even the same character atp

PAUSEE NAGI TAKING OVER THE YOTD FIC IDEA??? Adapting it to fit the original universe sounds a little complicated but if you ever decide to write that I bet it’d be fire….second lead Rin….haha guys!!

I’m actually living for these peregrine rants HELLO?? I love the angst and drama the three main fights also I’m CRYING reader drunkenly approaching Kira bc she thought he was NAGI IM DEAD stop I live for this shit the orie viral news misunderstanding??? Stop this is literally like one of my favorite types of scenarios

I’m laughing so hard the “damn you’re really that emotional over your friends’ wedding good for you” is so fucking funny and it’s also such a Nagi thing to think but THE CONFESSION AT THE WEDDING AND KIRA TWEAKING and CHIGIRI DUMPJNG THW WINE AND DROPPING THAT LINE??? TOO GOOD >>>>>> I can’t that’s also so chigiri holy cow the red hair comeback line is actually too genius I’m losing my mind thinking about it

Peregrine goes so fucking hard……omfg…GUYS..!!!!! Makes me wanna go reread it rn this plot is fr cooking though

LMAOO REAL tiktok truly has its ways…but omg BAROU NEXT I second that I’m actually so excited for Barou’s version too based off our convo it’s gonna be really entertaining to read….im ngl I almost forgot niko was in peregrine too Lowk him in that sidekick-esque role is perfect

LMAOA bro my grind is nothing compared to your writing grind HAHA im also just gonna put my response here to cut down on asks

LMAOAOA no bc my face when i realized….usually he has his trademark “mediocre/dunce” that’s all the same phrase (romanized to bon) but I’ve literally never seen him use this phrase ANYWHERE except for in reference to kiyora so im assuming it must be specifically set aside for him??? Lmao????? It’s basically the same just means “mediocre/average/nothing special” but the way he purposefully uses a different phrase for kiyora has me going crazy

MY EXACT THOUGHTS I read that and snorted that’s so otoya LMAOO but from that it seems like otoya Karasu (and probably himizu) ganged up on/bullied kiyora LOL bro really had all the opps on his team Nagi’s team adopting him like they’re cps has me cackling they really said “let’s get you out of this hostile environment” but FRRRR can’t wait….speaking of new chapters have you seen the ones for the main series yet? I don’t have all that many thoughts about it but we’re finally moving ig?? LOL

- Karasu anon

LMAOO miraverse fic w an orv word count when??? jk idk if i could ever write something that long…200k words is my sweet spot that’s about how long pomegranate ink and endure are (give or take ten thousand) so if i do end up writing something crazy for bllk it’ll probably be abt that length (one of my aot fics was supposed to end up at 500-600k words but i got out of aot so i never finished it 😓 but if you ever see me posting abt ship in the harbor that’s the one!! people really liked it despite it being hardly related to aot and they surprisingly LOVED the ocs i literally still get asks abt them)

LMAOO NO BECAUSE IT’S SO TRUE making ocs is fun there’s nothing wrong with it but stop misinterpreting kaiser like this bro is not your playboy dom daddy he probably has intimacy issues 😭

OKAY BUT IT RLLY COULD COOK it would be sad asf though like major character death sad 😓 since if i did it it’d be a reworking of year of the roses and in that hak literally kills shinah (cue time travel shenanigans that actually just lead to the same inevitable outcome) so uhhh rin stans and nagi stans alike might hate me (it would go crazy though if my tik tok audios fail me i’ll def consider doing that)

LMAOOOO NO BECAUSE I WAS GIGGLING WHEN I THOUGHT OF THAT like why would nagi even be there?? but yk drunk logic 😭 no but that’s such a butterfly effect moment because if she hadn’t gone to the party and met kira she probably would’ve called nagi during the whole orie misunderstanding and straightened things out pretty fast but because kira was there and ready she just gave up and didn’t even try 😓

HAHA plsss no nagi was just trying to cover for her he kinda picked up that smth else was wrong just because he knew her so well but he didn’t want to embarrass her in front of everyone so that’s why he made the excuse and then asked her again privately why she was upset!! when he’s a considerate king 🤩 he’s had many years to think about what he could have done better so he’s def reformed a bit…and LMAOO miraverse chigiri is truly superior he’s sooo funny and sassy i love him he’s fr peregrine reader’s platonic soulmate they are SO funny in the college era!! because their hangouts are basically may and reo being all lovey dovey and then reader + chigiri making fun of them (also the chigiri and kira beef is LEGENDARY HAHA)

I MISS PEREGRINE it’s actually so fun so interesting so cool one day i will return to the grind for it omg i’ve gotten so many people asking abt when i will update again and i’m just like 😰 idkkk

HELP niko consistently in his sidekick era he’s always there in some way shape or form i can’t help it it’s just the exact vibe he’s always bringing to the function!! BAROU’S VERSION WILL BE SO FUN i am sososo excited for the oaeu imagine i start writing it now even though i still have requests to do…NO I MUSTN’T

THEY ARE SO MEAN TO KIYORA BRO you know it’s bad when barou and nagi seem like cuddly sweethearts in comparison 😭 honestly justice for kiyora no wonder he’s always ready to fight i would be too 😓 and smh karasu bro rlly went from the bullied to the bully…I CAN FIX HIM THOUGH TRUST next epinagi chapter will be me standing there w my hands on karasu’s shoulders like “look at me baby 🥺 this isn’t you 🥺” FJDJDJSJSJ jkjk

yesss i did see the new chap!! okay wait i was joking abt the this isn’t you but why was isagi deadass serving the 🥺 emoji in that one panel w rin i hope yk what i’m talking abt…at least rin finally scored YAYY i’m hoping the match ends soon just one more goal to go!! and then the next arc begins…or maybe we finally get a peek at barcha vs manshine!! rooting for nagi to come back 🤩

[boobersandstuff]

Hello! Ok for context before the achall post, ice listened to Taylor swift all my life, BUT I only listened to the rlly popular songs, watched the music videos or just heard a snippet of one of her songs. And ever since midnights came out I've been listening to all of her albums 1 by 1. So far I've listened to:

Midnights

Reputation

Speak now

Lover

Folklore

And evermore.

And now I'm going to listen to 1989 for the first time, let's go!

Welcome to new York.: I remember listening to the chorus in a secret world of pets and that's it. Is this song abt her first experience in NYC? Kinda repetitive but it's a pop anyways so eh. Sold 8/10 very good 👍.

Blank space: I remember just rewatching the music video we downloaded on my ipad when I was 5. SO GOOD AHHHH!! Nostalgia! I know it off by hand lmao. IM BOPPINH SO HARD RN AHHHHH 10/10 PERFECT!!!

Style: I've heard the beginning and that's it I think. MIDNIGHTS!?!?/jk lol. Nvm I've heard all of it but idk from were? Probably tiktok lol. ITS SUCH A BOP! STYLE STYLE!! WOOOO !!! WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE style!!! QHHHHHH 10/10 SO FUCKING GOOD!!! IM FUCKING DANCING 💃

Out of the woods: I know it from her miss Americana doco from netflix and man I love it! It's in my top 5 switie songs. Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? ARE WE OUT OF THE WOODS YET!!! IM FUCKING BOP!!! AH THE BRIDGE IS MY FAV PART (said by no swiftie ever/s lol) THE ENDING PART AJHHH 1000000000/10 AHHHHHH 💗💕💙🧡💟🧡💜💃🕺💃💃🕺💃💃💃💃

All you had to do was stay: now I've never heard or listened to this song before so this is gonna be fun! WHAT!? IM POGGING! ITS SO BOPPY AH! STAY! I'm vibing. I'm dancing it's good! (Stay!) Don't worry past Taylor you have Joe now so your pretty good! 9/10 rlly good but not a 10, idk why it just isn't to me. Still amazing.

Shake it off: this the meme song too me. I can't even dance to it cuz I've herd it way too many times and it's just funny! All I can think of is tommy joking abt it lmao! I CANT SRSLY CUZ OF TOMMYINNIT KEKW. 5/10 BLAME TOMMY!!! ik all the words to it cuz of it being played 24/7!!!

I wish you would: again a brand new song! Let's see it! Bop, it's definitely a bop. Nothing idk now from the songs before. It's good but isn't giving me that energy like the last couple of songs, STILL RLLY GOOD just isn't making me get up and dance. 6-7/10 just isn't give that energy.

Bad blood: I remember watching the music video when it came out and being confused, I looked at here to check that I wasn't misrembering it. Nope. it looks the exact how I remember. I don't like it! WHY ARE THEIR NAMES THERE I DONT CARE!!! take away their names and it'd be 1000% better in my oppion. Anyways the songs pretty good 👍. Nothing to add it's cachy and good. Solid 8/10. The music video made it lose 2 points. Again the bridge is the best part lol.

Wildest dreams: imma be honest, I've listened to the TV first and never heard the og. And I'm listening to the TV first then the og cuz I rlly love the TV. (TV 10/10 comfort listen.) It's deffo different. The pace different. Her voice is higher but that's abt it. It's like listening to a nightcore cover of a song lol. Og I'd give it an 10/10 + 1 . The exstra point is for the nightmare esc different lol.

How you get the girl: new song YIPPEE!! I'm swaying. It's pretty bopping. I'm vibing! YOOO THE chorus YAAAA. IM DANCING!!! that kisses on cheeks line was pretty gay ngl lol. The ending is good. 9/10 very good!

This love: again new song! But there's a TV of it out rn so imma listen to that insted. It's giving lover/folklore mashup. IT LITCHERALLY SAID CARDENAGAIN!!! WTF HAHAHA!!! it's very nice. Idk what to say it's just rlly good! TV 9/10 very good 👍. I wonder who this songs abt? Hm. Smth for me to google later lol. It's a nice palet clenzer for the playlist to not get burnt out on the bop. Also the TV is exactly the same.

I know places: is it just me or is the beat the exact same as shake it off or is it just me? Anyways it's good. IM POGGING YOOOOO!!! IM VINING AGAIN YOOO!!! It's giving the archer. 10/10 very good!

Clean: I remember listening to a snippet of the song on tiktok but i dong remember it lol. Ok this is very different from any of her songs. I'm vibing. I'm semi-pogging. It's pretty good. It's achally rlly good wtf hahaha! WHAT WAS THAT LINE "the water filled my lungs, I Screamed so loud but no one heard a thing" WTF!? TAYLOR HONEY R U OK!? WHAT HAPPEND!? also that was a very good lyric very good! I just clocked the lyrics wth!? Omg it's so sad but so good. 10/10 I love it. "Just because your clean doesn't know you don't miss it" TAYLOR!!? THATS SO SAD!! IM GONNA CRY!!! (Also I relate he 😜🤪😝) . Why is it so sad T T. I'm crying!!! It's so sad. WAHHHHHH.

Wonderland: I remember watching a music video of the same name (or at leased similar cuz of the mv) and I've never listened to TV so let's go. It's giving Christmas lol. SHES RAPPING LETS GOOOO YESSS YOOOO!!! I'm vibing. YOOOO THE PRODUCTION LETS GOOOO YESSSS. "And whispers turned to talk, and talking turned to screams" cough relate cough cough 0-0. Fuxk yeah! This is a song I wanna learn off by heart! Ah it's so good!!! 10/10 maybe my fav song in the album.

You are in love: the title reminds me of that one Disney sing from Hercules. MIDNIGHTS O! very slow. It's rlly good! It's giving dancing with our hands tied and that's a complement! Aw I'm so happy for you Taylor //^ ^//. It's giving ✨queer✨ for that best friend line. My favourite line was that best friends line. 9/10 very good! Very gay!

New romantics: holy shit! I wasn't expecting semi-rapping & kinda aro lyrics ngl. ITS A POP YOOOO!!! IM VIBING AND POGGING AND FUCK!!! I'm smiling sm to this :D. This is my favourite! I love it ❤ ♥ 💕 💓 . 20/10 AH! LETS GOOOO YES!!!

Now I have questions

What's these? And what did they sound like?

Favourite songs from this album:

1.) New Romantics

2.) You are in love

3.) Out of the woods

4.) Wildest dreams (tv)

5.) Clean

[eldesperadont]

Hey I’m sorry to bother you when you said this was worrying you, but I’m super new to wrestling (started watching 3~ months ago, if that) and bad at understanding how it works still. What’s going on with MJFs contract? I’ve seen a few things that make me nervous (not getting paid enough etc) and I was wondering what some of the million other reasons you mentioned in the tag were? I’d realky hate to see him go. Ty 😖

Hey yo I’d love to help but im not really the best source on this, idk the exact details surrounding his contract cause im not that keen on the business side of wrestling (for the sake of my sanity) - all i know is that Max is apparently unsatisfied with his contract, AEW wants to keep working with him, and their negotiations so far havent been optimal

‼️ If any of my followers/mutuals would be able to share reputable sources on this situation for them that’d be really nice ‼️

but generally speaking i dont like contract/signing drama cause its just a whole lot of stress and fans are often in the crossfire given the nature of kayfabe - i love pro wrestling, its my fav form of entertainment, but when im genuinely getting worried about characters and actors i like cause of how much the line between reality and fiction is blurred (on purpose) its no fun anymore (for me), ive got enough issues that fuck me up, i dont need a combat soap opera to rob my nerves too (also drama like this would probably be easier to avoid if there wouldnt be a whole industry around it, aka wrestling “journalism”)

but yeah to come to an end, i’d also hate to see Max leave AEW cause if he wants to stay in the big leagues then rn the only other place is WWE - he’s great at what he does so that’s absolutely not the issue, he could work anywhere, but not everyone can use him well, and WWEs products are nothing i wanna watch anymore, to say it politely

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

[solardrink]

alright lets go over the rundown of todays certified wiblur soot lore

wilbur and ranboo are walkin and talkin- wilbur reminisces about lmanburg and the lmanburg anthem while ranboo learns history from the big founder man himself

apparently they chose to put it to the theme of "hallelujah" by leonard cohen (who is canon now i guess) because tommy would always sing that song when tending to plants- a very wholesome now canon fact

the two head over to the museum, talk some more about lmanburg, then wilba takes the leads and dashes to the lmanhole to see the changes

the glass is removed and most of the debris has been cleared (unsure if any characters know if philza did this)

the two hear someone playing the anthem sadly on the other side of the crater

its tubbo

wilbur asks if tubbo and ranboo know each other (they are most likely laughing so hard in their heads) but they basically kinda mumble "i guess yeah"

anyway tubbos in a bit of a state, hes wearing his old president suit and is prepared to make a few c!tubbo headcanons, canon

wilbur and tubbo talk as ranboo observes

tubbo and wilbur talk about how the huge crater came to be and that dream, techno and philza actually made it (unclear if wilbur gathered that dream helped since tubbo failed to clarify for some reason) wilbur doesnt understand why they would do that and tubbo says its becuase of government or mainly his fault...

(also imagine c!tubbos face as wilbur said hes my hero LMAO)

tubbo says that without lmaburg he has "nothing left to fight for" which mustve been a pretty tough thing for his husband to hear a few feet away

wilbur remarks about that "one of the fails of anarchy" which is pretty insightful and leads into his request of tubbo

wilbur apologizes for saying cruel things to tubbo when he became president and asks for forgiveness

tubbo forgives him (its all he ever does really, huh?)

but he refuses to trust wilbur until he can prove himself (big round of applause there folks)

wilbur asks tubbo to join "Paradise" the new area hes creating near las nevadas with him and ranboo (and technically tommy as well i think)

tubbo says no since he doesnt trust wilbur and wilbur attempts to prove how hes changed in all his years away at moms place

tubbo however thinks that people can change, a sentiment c!beeduo seem to share in regards to wilbur

tubbo brings up his nightmares practically every day of him being executed by technoblade and wilbur apologizes for not stepping in

"i couldve"

"but you didnt" (animatic line baby)

youch, another tough thing to bare witness to your hubbies whole angsty backstory he doesnt like sharing

also i may have jumbled the order in which some of wilbas and tubbos convo happened in, if so, um watch the vod loser that was too much emotional distress to go through again idk i bet a gazillion people are posting clips rn

anyways-

wilbur is declined but he offers for tubbo to just come with them to hang out

he says no in a rather choked up manner (im a tubbling so thats hard to hear man)

and says he will just stay by the crater for a bit

ranboo asks "you need me to stay" a particularly heartbreaking line, and tubbo says no

you can tell here that ranboo is understandably a little distressed, being secondhand trauma dumped on ( is that a term? can you be secondhandedly trauma dumped by someone in a conversation youre sort of on the sidelines for? whatever)

ranboo and wilbur leave lmanhole (o7) and go to the burger van

wilbur opens up about how when he said to tommy that he didnt really care about lmanburg, he was lying, i mean i cant really tell at this point but okay we'll take his word for it

wilba is pretty impressed by ranboos decorating and they talk about random stuff i cant remember while meandering around

wilbur ends (3O MINUTE LORE STREAM NOOO MY TUBBO CONTENT) and thats that

anyways thats my pretty okay but not the best lore update from todays stream please leave me a good review on yelp thank you

[tragedieds]

alt title: i can’t believe i’ve never done one of these before

 i’m off hiatus! i’ll be slowly... u know... becoming more active on here and on discord as the days go on but this week was so rough. some good news: i somehow got 322 followers while on hiatus and i finally figured out what my next wip after tve is gonna be.

as for. u know. these violent ends:

i reached 50k! or, well. i will tonight. i’m not strictly following a three act structure until i start editing but i do feel the midpoint is coming and fast which means everything is going to become so awful so quickly

midpoint also means soon there won’t be any more fynn chapters bc :( u know. dead

i have to really think abt how im gonna pull this off bc fynn’s death and the reveal of who murders him has to be kind of the twist that sets off the third act and it has to be at just the right place. this reveal is smth i need to be as good as possible from draft one, even though no one else is rly gonna see it until draft two. its IMPORTANT TO ME OK!!!

it’s 208 pages double-spaced without any manuscript formatting. Big

i refuse to go back and edit 50k just yet but i do think there needs to be some massive pov edits. i keep writing in third person for fynn and present tense for ren, and they both work a lot better than what i have now

FYNN FINALLY SAID FUCK, 207 PAGES AND 49K IN 

there’s someone in fynn’s chapters who he has an unfathomable amount of chemistry with, which is very annoying bc that's not supposed to be a thing. anyway fellas is it gay to trust another man with both you and the girl you have a crush on’s lives? 🤔

i had some ppl ask me about this like a month ago: i don’t intend to publish these violent ends anywhere or query it. the only other people who’ll probably ever read it in its entirety are some betas, but this wip is for me, it’s very experimental and personal (and rn in its first draft form, borderline incomprehensible). i really only need to get it to a state where i’m happy with it. will it never see the light of day?? idk. maybe! but i don’t see myself debuting with it

i also promised some out of context lines i like so those are below the cut. sometimes first draft not totally Awful?

I raise corpses from their deathbeds. I consider nothing.

A woman possessed, metamorphosing into a creature she didn’t recognize, one that answered the dark, seductive calls of the things that housed themselves under shadows.

If you cannot run from fate, then bend it to your will.

If she had been marked by Death, then so had Yael. They were two sides of one rotting coin, both inimitable and terrifying.

He’d burrowed his way into her bones, took hold of her heart and declared himself an equal. Someone who understood. And she’d been foolish enough to believe him.

and my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SENTENCES:

It seemed he liked to fuck with her. That was fine. She could fuck back.

[tartagliaxx]

hi. i only got to play in inazuma today so here's me live reacting to the archon quest. it's a lil out of context tho so have fun trying to figure out which parts im talking abt. also, this is the only time i'm going to be talking abt spoilers for at least one week so... 🤷‍♀️

swordfish ii? cute.

Jesus Christ. and here i thought it was my lowest settings that made his hair grey… this poor kid. teppei i admire your determination but no… just no...

SCARAMOUCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

IF EVIL WHY SO HOT

you know.... scaramouche could stand still and the air would get electrified. and yknow,,, that's p... that's p attractive

ugh im disgusting myself. and here i thought i still had an inch of sanity left in me.

of all people it had to be this little jerk

scaramouche is so fucking evil. i’d like ten of him, please.

man,, they expect me to dodge this shit? that’s the biggest l i’ve heard today. none of that shit. i’m bringing out my zhong and my sweet madames skrrt

sayu is adorable… i remember when i had hopes of growing up too… alas, it has come to this.

OH MY GOD AYATO CRUMBS. I AM LICKING THAT SHIT UP. PLEASE— HE HAS A SECRET UNIT. THATS SO HOT WTF. AYATO MY DEAR, PLEASE DONT BE A REGULAR ICKY NPC BUT WHITE HAIRED…

SNEAKY SNEAK. SNEAKY SNEAK.

THOMA OH MY GOD MY MALEWIFE. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? also, sayu’s sleeping again. this girl’s got talent. is her circadian rhythm okay?

pains me to be the bearer of all bad news and no good news…

WAIT THOMA IS LEAVING NO DONT LEAVE YET I WANT TO LOOK AT YOU MORE

oh nvm he’s still in the background.

EYY WHATS UP AYAKA. YOU’RE AS FINE AS EVER.

i… i don’t like where this is going… i refuse to be the bait. i’m too hot for that. so spicy they’ll spit me right out

DONT VOLUNTEER YOURSELF LUMINE— GIVE ME AN OPTION OR AT LEAST AN ‘OH SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN’ LINE

YES FIREWORKS THAT WOULD WORK RIGHT? PLEASE TELL ME THAT WOULD WORK-

oh thank god… wait... they… they wouldn’t ask me to be the one to set off the fireworks right?

UNFORTUNATELY NO. AFTER YOU BECOME A FREE MAN, YOU’RE IMMEDIATELY MARRYING ME THOMA ANJKFHAIGHLANGKLAHOFJLKAB

oh crap… i’m… i’m in deep.

HE’S BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING US AGAIN EVERY DAY SINCE HE GOT THERE ANFLaglvbajlfblabvljabefva;bfalLJBLJDABVBAALSNADL tumblr user @tartagliaxx is broken. she is now irreparable. she has no regrets. goodbye.

ehem… what if… you and i… and hotsprings… together?? JUST KIDDING. PG-13 OVER HERE. NOTHING INDECENT WHATSOEVER MOVE ALONG NOW

poor thoma,,,

oh come on ayaka… cut us some slack… i just watched lumine wheeze bc of evil purple mist only to be dragged into 2 timeskips and an entire training arc. dont let her be yet another traumatized shounen manga protagonist… altho, it might be uh… too late for that…

oh dear… is thoma going to get another round of diarrhea?

OF COURSE. OF COURSE IT’S ME DOING ALL THE WORK. OF COURSE IT’S ME WHO’S RISKING MY LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN. GOD! GIVE LUMINE A BREAK. BEING A TRAVELER DOES NOT MEAN IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE.

hello yoimiya… still looking as bomb as ever i see……… mhm… gonna see myself out rn…

HELP MY SHITTY GRAPHICS COMPLETELY ERADICATED HER BROWS

oh god… are we dying because of fireworks? forget getting caught by the patrol… we’re about to light up an untested firework that was made to be a billion times more explosive….

NO. SHE SAID IT. SHE SAID THE CURSED SENTENCE. WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? IDK YOU TELL ME. YOU JUST SENTENCED US TO DEATH YOIMIYA GREAT GOING still love you tho.

man… these patrol guards aint shit… i literally walked an inch behind their backs and they did nothing… its a surprise the rebellion still hasn’t won when they place guards like this in their ranks………. ok that was kinda mean i’ll apologize in a bit.

SAYU OMG… DONT WORRY I’LL SNEAK YOU OUT AND RISK MY LIFE willingly JUST TO RESCUE YOU. ILYSM HONEY YOU’RE DOING SO WELL

no, paimon. it’s not but we’re doing it anyway 🤡

NO ONE TOLD ME WE’RE GOING TO RUN. I WENT COMPLETELY OFF COURSE. first try tho 😏

HELLO THOMA. HELLO AYAKA.

HELLO SAYU. HOW DID IT GO? IM GUESSING IT WENT WELL BC YOU’RE STILL ALIVE?

oh no….. she’s worn herself out…. man,,, this is why you dont make convicts out of kids….

WE ASKED SAYU FOR AN INCH AND SHE GAVE AS TEN THOUSAND MILES. SAYU MY CHILD YOU EXCEED EXPECTATIONS

god, don’t remind me. as hot as the shogun trying to kill us w her blade was, i don’t appreciate almost getting murdered on screen (even if we most certainly have plot armor)

awwww is thoma worried about me uwu owo? dw i have like… a lumine w 6% crit rate by my side

sigh… i dont want to leave yet… cant i just stay by thoma’s side and not go to war for a change?

it was at this moment that tumblr user lei saw the wonders of being a housewife.

oh sara… my stars… i’m so sorry. i feel so bad for you but at the same time… this oddly makes me want to write a song for you ABJFJKABJABCABVABVKA I KNOW JACK SHIT ABT SONGWRITING WHY AM I THINKING LIKE THIS

well… there she goes…

oh…. oh….. yae is stealing my heart. WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO (i have an alt for a reason heehee)

DEAR LORD. PLEASE STEP ON MY NECK SARA.

these guys got guts to say ‘i’m sorry ma’am’ to THE kujou sara.

oh old man… you’re dead. you’re so dead.

man… this old man is a simp? sheesh.

YES. GO TELL EM PAIMON. PREACH THAT SHIT LOUD AND CLEAR.

oh my god… is that dude dead? i probably should’ve uh apologized b4 he flopped down to the ground ig…

MAN,, SARA’S DOWN FOR THE COUNT?? tbf i didnt expect much but…. also, AYE SIGNORA’S SO ICY.

she’s calling me out for being a simp ;-; heart been broke so many times or smth

OH SHIT LUMINE SPOKE. MAN,, WHY IS SHE SO COOL.

oh… i love this part of the vow… im suddenly inspired to write… how about a wedding au? an angsty wedding au?

goddamn… it’s been nice knowing you all…. i dont think i’ll come out of this alive if signora went out like that…

WHATS HAPPENING? ARE YOU SAYING KAZUHA WENT THROUGH THIS BS? IS LUMINE OKAY-

DID THEY REALLY JUST STORM THE ENTIRE FUCKING CAPITAL?? THEY HAVE SOME NERVE.

FUCK OMG KAZUHA AHHAHFHAFHAHGKJABKASBGA IM TEARING UP WTF WHY AM I GETTING EMOTIONAL- HONEY BUN THATS SO HOT OF YOU TO DO

oh… oh it’s time for round two? haha… time to… say my goodbyes….

yo… there are actual tears in my eyes… like… idk why… but that cutscene? shit man… that hit me…

hm… i feel bad for the shogun… ultimately, there is reason behind every act no matter how horrid. no matter how unreasonable, the reason one thinks of is always justified on their end. whatever everyone else thinks pay little effect on whether the act is fulfilled or not. also, her little laugh? i’m extra deceased.

the animation's fire as always wtf

oh but my kokoro... oof... my kokoro... ugh...

I’M SO FUCKING DONE AJKFHAKJBVAK- WE BEAT A HARBINGER AND FOR WHAT? she should’ve just tossed that gnosis into the ocean or smth...

HAH OMG SCARAMOUCHE. WHAT A MAN. I’M- I WAS RIGHT OMG. I HAD A LIL THEORY AND ITS JUST SMTH I HAD IN THE BACK OF MY MIND. I NEVER THOUGHT IT’LL ACTUALLY COME TRUE DEAR LORD. so now ig i have to admit i think abt him a lot and he has a soft spot in my heart 🥺 he’s evil you see and you know what my type is? evil men or at the very least, men with the potential to be evil. ugh so annoying.

scaramouche banner when

bc i sold everything worthy of money in me (read as my organs) for albedo, i'll sell my soul for him how about that?

EYE- makoto huh… well… fuck…

it’s day 400 of being ayato less even if he’s like… teased a million of times (jk it’s like… a grand total of seven but thats still p high)

im so… sigh…

i wonder if i’m still alive by the time sumeru releases… at the very least, i know my brain wouldn’t be.

....we were literally a captain for like... one second. that is so sad.

[filmsout]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW ⬩

tagged by @jsuga, @jiminslight, @sweetsnight, @vjimin, & @yoongiandthebiaswreckers (thank u again 💞, and i’m sorry if i’ve missed out any, just know i appreciate you ily)

p.s. this will mostly just be about my gfx bc if i had to sing their praises you will all bear witness to it and also i made visual boards for all my gfx for this post bc i wanted to do anything but work so my brain was like hmm why not waste more of your time ! those visual boards were the result and i regret absolutely nothing

⬩ FIRST CREATION OF 2020:  god. it’s this hobi x ego set i made and i rmb the third panel gave me approximately 5 mental breakdowns on one day

⬩ MOST RECENT CREATION: ah here we go my wistful jimin gfx that started out inspired by jimin’s comeback interview and turned into this bc i was looping blue & grey

⬩ ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE CREATIONS:

the way this is my villain origin story 

it’s my tae and jimin set inspired by friends 💘  i love bright colours so really the song just gave me more of an incentive to just go COLOOURSSS ! on every panel 

⬩ A NEW STYLE I’M PROUD OF: 

whatever is going on in this...[vague gestures]

it’s a lot of top-down perspective going on here and its not something i’ve tried until now i think. i mostly modelled this off of the lyric, ‘one day i’d wake up feeling more’, from sweet night💘 sometimes lads.,.,.,.,.its about the yearning 

⬩  A CREATION THAT TOOK YOU FOREVER 

SKSDAJ LISTEN. it is definitely my tae and jimin + mikrokosmos set bc this took my (on and off) about 6 months to finish up 

tae’s panel was also a second draft bc ps just deadass annihilated my first draft (and it was a totally different ~vibe~ so when i lost it i had to come up with a new one again and what u see in the post was the final one!) also side note i just find it ironic how i planned out jimin’s composition and that took me 5 months to wrap up whereas for tae’s i did that in under 6 hours w no planning......my life is a joke

⬩ CREATION THAT HAD THE MOST NOTES + THAT I THINK DESERVED MORE NOTES 

i personally don’t give much weight to the amount of notes i get im a parasite and ill leech off this website so long as i have a place to post my stuff woooooo but i’ll gently skip these questions 💕  

p.s. i may sound like a broken record rn but at the end of the day i love & enjoy my creative process and being able to share them on here is an additional bonus, but i’d still like to say thank you for the words that you left in the tags, thats a lot of serotonin injected into my brain and im grateful for every single one of it 💘

⬩ NEW FANDOM YOU JOINED AND A CREATION YOU MADE FOR IT

ooo this isn’t necessarily a new fandom but i started reading again and i made these thats posted on my main here 

also this bc i was going thru it and realised i hadn’t make anything for one of my fav characters (granted i read this series like idk 5 years ago? time is whack) 

⬩  A CREATION YOU MADE THAT BREAKS YOUR HEART 

ahh its my latest jimin gfx ofc~ the second panel specifically bc it resonated w me around the time i made it (that was 100% me projecting)

⬩ A ‘SIMPLE’ CREATION YOU LOVE

this isn’t really that simple but its without a doubt my vmin x mikrokosmos set 💝  i really love the process of figuring out how to combine 2+ diff pictures to make a complete set even though i struggled a lot whilst i was making this 

+ also this was supposed to be divided into vocal line & rap line but i had to cut it down bc u know. creative burnout :(  i really hope to finish it up soon/sometime in the future 

⬩ SOME OF YOUR FAVOURITE CONTENT CREATORS 

off the top of my head: 

gfx

@jsuga, @magiquerie, @ofkimtaehyung, @thebtsprint, @sthrame, @yoonjeen, @taettoo, @slipped-away, @tanyoorine, @minjoun, @vhopego, @monoreel, @kassareo, @minyoongis, @taerr 

gifs 

@sweetsnight, @jiminfilter, @discodynamites, @foreverrains, @oncupid, @hobeah, @heybaetae, @flipthatjacketjiminie, @jimimon, @honsool, @ghostes 

⬩  TAGGING: 

i’m tagging everyone above who wants to do it! feel free to ignore if you’ve already done it or if this isn’t your thing <3

[misterbitches]

i keep thinking about this and coming to more conclusions like both as an artist and me. 

we always think first about the aggressor and not the victim. so, for example, with history 4 and yong jie what will their relationship look like now given the trauma? if they have no interest in fleshing this dude out and having him just be an annoying clingy little ugly bitch then acknowledge that pain and how it will affect them. it’s so easy for xing si to get over being raped? what about xing si’s relationship with his mother? what about the fracturing this does to the family when there’s an intense violation that was aided and abetted by the mother?

that would be far more fascinating trying to figure out and they could still have them be together if they so desperately need it but they can’t ignore everything. that means the trauma will permeate through every part of your life. it’s hilarious that so many fans say the portrayals are realistic because they are not. these shows do not have the time and many of the writers or producers do not have the care or prowess—or will have to cut things to please the state—to execute this. they expedite the healing process but we are left reeling. 

in film school one of my teachers was always like, “what happens in the world when the film ends?” and this is something to ask. are we approaching it from: a man falls in love with his brother who raped him and the mother encouraged it and the shock and taboo of that or are we approaching it from a man is forced and trapped into a rship and stockholm syndrome and how that plays out. even if they stayed together even so it would give us more reason and understanding and then we see and know the foundation is built on nothing but darkness and may never recover. after this chapter ends�� there may be destruction; it’s possible because that’s how it all started.

but after this story ends, in the way it is presented, what will happen? it’s not just entertainment and that doesn’t mean it’s as big of a deal as i think it is even as i write these things. these are just things to keep in mind and things i think the younger viewers absolutely need to see. for themselves like as creative people and enjoying the media they consume and seeing what works and what doesn’t especially when a work serves a purpose. nothing is made for no reason so don’t expect it to be. to me i’m like: why was this made and what could have been better? 

there is NO improvement which is why we run around in the same circles. the way to untangle that is being clear about the message and its faults. the audience can’t be clear about it if the show isn’t doing its job for a team of professional fucking writers trying to entice people by poorly approaching topics and leaving them empty handed. life is not as hollow as these things make it and yet we eat it up hook line and fucking sinker. 

time and time again we see what these things must establish and how far they can push themselves. it isn’t until the material world gets better that we see a turn in the media but time isn’t linear. sometimes things are worse in years, sometimes things are better. these tropes last because they are a direct reflection of life and the failures in society. so of course it’s about the perpetrator and how they can get their prize but not how we can manage these things when there is a clear victim and we pretend like it isnt there under some sense of potential reform. 1. people do not need to be reformed in a story and that isn’t what this needs 2. is that compelling? 3. yes morally grey things exist but this is not morally grey when it is a violation adn that person’s action was not morally grey. there was a victim and he neeeds to be away from that victim. if he is going to stay we need to see the affects of him being there as real things and there is nothing realistic about that. in no fucking world would someone like xing si a grown adult fucking man be able to temper things that quickly as in the show. NONE. that shit lasts forever but we are supposed to see them kiss and be liek “aw wow morally grey” like what about him is morally grey in relation to xing si? specifically. whihc is the personhe will be with forever.

no it’s how do we get ourselves to see him and engage with him. you can engage with him or be enraptured sure but that doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean the writers are even doing anything with it! i’m glad eveyrone can garner there own idk ideas or get what they want out of a work but what about the victims? what about the relationships? what happens when the story ends? what are dinners like? cos their lives don’t stop when it’s not being recorded (as in these worlds we are shown are always going to exist so they continue on even without us seeing it. so the characters don’t have a stop point we just usually see their happy ending and many times with shitty relationships it’s like why are we here now?) at this point it’s comical and it’s boring. 

there’s a film i like with cameron diaz where she falls in love with someone who kidnapped her for a job. there’s no perosnal connection which really helps as well. he did it for a job, doesn’t know her, they fall in love. they get together at the end. that still affects her but it’s also way less psychological trauma then somoene stalking and grooming you and violating you and trapping you by direct action and constant manipulation. there’s no way to turn that around and it’s even worse when you try to with literally no other explanations. like who are these fucking characters and why should we even want them to continue to be here? yong jie could have even been a vehicle to help xing si like idk unpack everything in his brain in a helpful way even through his violation. they chose none of that lmao i could write a better fucking script and im a moron

why should we believe in their love? why should we believe in yong jie? why should we believe in any of these people when they don’t prove shit to us. they just exist. why is that interesting? why do we root for them? that’s certainly not something they even asked themselves cause they sure as shit don’t know. the writing here cannot make up its mind on its own morality and i think the idea of morally grey only works if you have a fucking idea of what you want to do not just throwing shit at a wall. and we feel something for these “morally grey” characters—frankly this term is also a mistake because it’s so much about good/bad and ignores history and peoples lives and what leads to events and it is a super WASP-y concept in its current iteration anyway with a belief that punity is justice when it is not. that is why i say get the fuck away from this dude instead of going to jail. we could see yong jie grow but FUCKING OUTSIDE OF XING SI.

aey from lovely writer is one where im like wow i feel so bad 4 u i think ur gonna like kill urself someone get this messy ass bitch some help. people hate this kid and they totally can! i feel bad for him! dont love him and maybe i wont even want the best for him but rn im like “omg i dont want u 2 die sir.”

i dont feel that way in many other shows. i feel fucking nothing for these men. not yong jie and not even the old guy from modc im just like ok you exist and i’m going to ignore you. there is nothing in my chest lmao. i look at them and feel cold, couldnt be drier, cos it’s stale and boring and trite and nothing new at all. it’s not realisitc and it’s not even entertaining. it’s just...there. 

i mean it’s there with the reminder of “oh man i am not interested in your love story also isn’t your boyfriend like 40 and you’re 17? why do you like each other again? does this kid have parents? Wait, what’s happening? uhhhh am i supposed to like this? where are his parents? what’s gonna happen when he turns 23 and realizes how fucked up that shit is? can we see that?” and before u know it the sex on screen is over so that was just unpleasant all around.

and i cannot give u a single reason for so many couples why they like each other. like literally what on earth is there for the two of these people to be attracted to. at least one is being swayed by power but what’s the other one doing? oh nothing he just sucks? ok got it.

if we don’t approach it from a “how do we get people to like a shitty person or a person who does things that harms others” it continues on like this. questioning questioning questioning the comfortableness and never thinking about what the fuck the victim can do, what the fuck is even going on in their heads. and if they can’t do that then we go back to the question: what is the purpose of it? if the answr is “just because” then you have a failure on your hands and a lot of annoyed people. sorry not sorry 

[ambersky0319]

GONNA RAMBLE ABOUT THE NEW VIDEO SO

SPOILERS AHEAD

note this was written AS I was watching the video and NOT after finishing it

Roman and Thomas saying they could have just talked with Lee and Mary Lee at the beginning? Hell yes. Exactly. Best option. Should have done that.

Patton is walking on thin fucking ice. Think his friends would have felt guilty for asking Thomas to stay at the wedding? Maybe they would have, bUT YOU WOULDNT KNOW THAT UNLESS YOU TALKED TO THEM. And!!! Who knows, maybe they would have AGREED that Thomas going to the callback instead was a good idea! And just. What about Thomas? He's clearly feeling shitty. A conversation could have possibly made him feel better, if he had talked with his friends and just communicated better then maybe everyone could have been happy-

Just. Urgh. Patton. Want to slap him rn honestly.

Also

Roman clearly looking off. Like, he's clearly upset but he's trying. He's defending Patton even if he doesn't necessarily agree with Patton's statements/ideas and just. Yeah. Whereas Patton, although he says he's realizing how he's compromising Thomas's happiness, idk, it still feels like he doesn't actually care? Or at least, he doesn't understand why Thomas is feeling shitty and he's not trying hard enough to understand.

Also, the video game thing is... Okay, I guess? Not really my favorite thing to ever happen. The censorship whenever he curses looking like a coin tho is nice.

Okay. No. No no no no. Patton no. That sharp intake of breath when Roman said you didn't need to give the guy a hotdog. No. No no no.

But also.

That's not... A good comparison. To the wedding and how it would make Thomas feel.

Neither the callback or the wedding affects someones survival. One is not a game and the other someone needing food. Both are luxuries, as Patton stated. You don't need a wedding, and you don't need a callback(Though the callback has more benefits since, if gone well, it could kick off your career). It just. Idk. Wrong example I think to use in this scenario.

"You shouldn't do a good thing just because it makes you feel good."

Listen. Before, I didn't mind Patton. I really, really didn't. But. Jesus, I want nothing more than to punch him rn.

Also love Logan's explanations but oh my stars its distracting me from what Thomas, Roman, and Patton are saying-

"You just... KNOW."

People don't necessarily know what the right thing to do IS tho. Thanos believed he was doing the right thing (my knowledge on the MCU is limited but I'm fairly certain Thanos didn't believe he was doing wrong) to him, wiping out half the universe was the right thing to do.

Clearly it wasn't, but it proves that not everyone believes the same thing when it comes to what's right vs what's wrong.

Also, the trolley problem. Honestly surprised I didn't think that would pop up!

Oh my fucking STARS ROMAN'S GONNA MAKE ME CRY WHILE HE TALKS ABOUT GETTING IN THE WAY JUST, FUCK

And just

Patton's logic is... Hurting my brain. It feels like going in circles. That just me?

THANK YOU LOGAN FOR POINTING THIS OUT: PATTON HAS BEEN CONTRADICTING HIMSELF

AND THATS WHY IM SO FRUSTRATED WITH HIM

JESUS FUCK THAT TRANSITION IS TOO MUCH NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

NOT EVEN GONNA BE PERSUADED TO BE A FAN OF THIS VIDEO GAME STYLE

Wait shit the sdv reference is COOL THO okay I like that little bit but just- the rest of it like Patton looking like that and just it feels like too much!!!

DEE'S THEME

YES

HAPPY TO SEE DEE

"Not that any of you care, but I am unharmed." Oh I am SO USING THAT IN FICS great angst potential!

SELFLESSNESS AINT ALWAYS THE ANSWER

LOVE THAT LINE

ROMAN SINKING OUT AND THERES ONLY 10 FUCKING MINUTES FUCK NO NO NO

Also, Deceit's named Janus!! I actually quite like that!!! Gonna take a while to get used to tho

So

We aren't gonna address Roman sinking out? Or any of his insecurities? We aren't... No? Like, no? He was just compared to Remus and left. Didn't even pop up in the end. Just. Oh. Okay. No addressing that then.

[milkie-yoongi]

21 Questions Tag

yay i love these! especially because i cant go anywhere right now so imma try to find more! thank you @honeyvoicehwang for the tag :)

Name: starts w an S. read the about me section on my blog 

Gender: female

Star Sign: pisces !!!! 

Current Time: 1:15 PM

Favorite Artist(s): bts, bap, taeyang, song ji eun, eaeon, any OST artist tbh and theres lots more but im only listing the korean music ones

Favorite Song: sweet night - taehyung its just refreshing and sentimental i dont know how to describer  

Song Stuck in Your Head: this one annoying song song by this lady i dont know that i keep hearing everyone dance to on tik tok because my friend keeps showing me can she stop tanks 

Last Movie You Saw: in theatres? the star wars one, i love D-O i shouldve asked for that remote control robot for birthday i love dumb silly robot

Last Thing You Googled: “reddit” lol im looking for answers for lots of stuff rn

Other Blogs: nothing on here, one blog is enough to keep up with ehe

Main Blog: @milkie-yoongi

Do You Get Asks: i used to, now its rare but people be busy and im not consistently active so i get it, i love asks though please send some in esp at this time in life

Reason For Your URL: lol i don’t even know if there was a real reason behind it, i originally wanted to make a yoongi instagram fanacc but i liked tumblr more so i thought, why not make one there and just see how it does? it was only supposed to be for my personal entertainment and i didnt expect to meet so many wonderful people on here or for it to blow up as quickly as it did when i posted constantly. i didnt expect to be this invested in it either, but here i am today c: . i think i chose “milkie” as the first part of the name because i wanted a pastel/soft theme that was whitish/blueish and yoongi is baby to me and i associate that with that with “milk” and to make it flow better i just added “ie” then of course it was meant to be a yoongi blog so i added yoongi at the end because his name just as it is is beautiful. 

Following: 193

Average Amount of Sleep: when im stressed or have to wake up early its around 5-6.5 hours (kinda like yoon yeh), and if i dont have to wake up early and am not stressed i sleep around 7-10 hours. i feel dead everyday though, how do people have energy? 

Lucky Number: 13! idk, i dont believe in luck but 13 is a cool number and i always liked it! 

Currently Wearing: why do you wanna know? some of these asks make me feel like im being interrogated by the fbi hahaaa but im staying at home today soo a black long sleeve with white small dolphin sillhouetes on the side and sleeves and black leggings. fun right? 

Dream Job: at first i never had one, but now i realized i really want to work from home with my laptop. i dont mind what it is as long as i have fun doing it and that it lines up with my values, and i do have a few ideas regarding this, im not gonna put them out here so no one STEALS. because why work for someone else on someone else’s time when you can thrive the best doing what you like and taking advantage of the technology given? i know its gonna be a long road with lots of trial and error but thats what i really want so i can spend more time on what matters in life later on, like taking care of myself and being with family/friends! aside from online jobs though id love to be a piano teacher/piano accompanist because thats the only thing job wise that gives me joy right now. 

Dream Trips: anywhere with good food :D right now definitely korea, japan, new zealand, the more nature-y islands in hawaii, anywhere in europe, probably more places but i cant think of any right now. also ive only been on an airplane once in my life! 

Favourite Foods: anything with white rice it just makes eating so much easier and enjoyable. meats. seafood like the ones at the restaurants where they give you the bibs which i do not wear and they dump the lobster shrimp and crab and corn all over the table and you can just eat it however you want. 

Play Any Instruments: pianopianoapinaoooapinaooapianoo! i used to play violin too in middle and HS but it made my head and jaw hurt and it was gross to me at the time i could not play in tune and i ate in orchestra class all the time instead of paying attention maybe thats why i got worse as i got older, but thats okay because with pianos you dont need to worry about playing in tune but im tempted to pick the violin up again and maybe even try viola...because violas are better i dont care what violin nerds have to say :P

Tagging:

@smolshooky @jincendio @yosunyoongi @heyitsminyoongi @yoongisugameow @xbabyboysx @cpt-falcon @roseghostly @kpoplittleheadcannon @shin-kun1995 @weezbelyse @blackzwaan-yoongi @minsugas-ass @sunshines-babie @agustkeys

if you see this but arent tagged, feel free to do it anyway!