#so thankful for the urge to read it

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[gifti3]

So i headcanon that demons (maybe angels too) have more than 1 heart…

Imagine that one day your demon darling invite you to dinner and ofc you agree! So you’re talking with them waiting for ur meal then it arrives. On the plate it’s a cooked DEMON heart and it’s not just any demon heart it’s your demon’s heart. Them smiling and said “do you like it?”

Apparently, demon do that to express love to their mates and it’s also one of the most imtimate ways (in demon’s sense) to show love.

I need more contents of the boys actually being demon 😔

i fuck with this, not gonna lie

the monsterfucker in me is always intrigued by the differences in how a nonhuman would express their love lmao of course most people would be surprised if their demon lover presented them with their second heart but after initial shock and them explaining if you think about it….you cant help but be (strangely?) touched like wow this person really likes me huh (///∇///) so we r pretty much soulmates! presenting one of ur hearts is a pretty big deal just from a logical standpoint, cause u forever nerfed urself for someone

now actually eating the heart is a whole nother question lmaoo

yea you know demons sometimes like to eat each other (and humans sometimes) but humans dont really do that as a casual activity and it usually gets you ostracized lol

u cant help but feel a little bad not eating it though…they cooked their whole second heart, they had it removed from their body which probably wasnt a painless thing to do but for your demon its mainly a way for them to show their devotion more than anything ,,,tho i know some of those brothers were actually expecting you to eat it lol it would be very funny if you both were sitting there after you were like aww thats so sweet and then he was like….well r u gonna eat it? :]

asmo and mammon come to mind first honestly LMAO

asmo is “kind of” intense when it comes to love and the mammon is a tsundere--"well...are you gonna eat it or what?"（//︶^︶）typa deal--so thats why i say that

and then maybe beel and belphie

beel cause i feel like it might go over his head at first (especially since this involves food) but then he'll remember like oh right humans dont eat that my bad

belphie i just think is hopeful you know...if that makes sense, so hes not surprised if you dont wanna eat it but maybe a bit huffy about it

i think satan and lucifer are too smart and like “normal” to actually expect a human to do that

while levi is... levi

hed probably get self conscious and be like well yea of course they wouldnt wanna eat my heart...

and then u gotta really reassure him its not him its you :d

[thecruel]

— Your hair was like a character of its own in the film. What’s your hair care routine? — I don't do anything. It's funny because Justine said, “Okay, I want you with long hair and I want it like this,” and she showed me some pictures of me at an awards ceremony and said, “Yeah, I want you to have this haircut,” so that was her idea.

Talking With Anatomy of a Fall Lawyer Swann Arlaud, Who Has No Hair-Care Routine via GQ (February 2024)

For reference: Swann Arlaud at the 45th César Awards (2020)

[retrogradedreaming]

I just rewatched Full Moon and seeing that last scene Blitzø and Stolas ripped my heart out AGAIN and these are my thoughts after watching it a couple times, please don't throw rocks at me

First, I think this is a pretty realistic progression of miscommunication and I've seen a lot of people be on either of their sides, but I don't think there's even a side to be on. Both of them went into this with their own thoughts and pre-formed ideas of what the other wants and how they'd react, and that colored their responses and clouded their ability to process what the other was saying.

Stolas opened the whole thing with "Blitzø, I need my book back permanently" which was absolutely the wrong tone to set here. It reinforced Blitzø's belief that Stolas was getting tired of him, and as far as Blitzø (who is NOT known for his ability to accurately and objectively read people or situations) is concerned, Stolas has just confirmed that he doesn't want him. Stolas immediately clarifies and pours out his feelings, but honestly, that's a lot for Blitzø to hear immediately after feeling like his literal worst fear has been confirmed, that his business—the ONE thing he's worked so fucking hard to build from scratch—is in jeopardy. So along with wondering whether Stolas even wants him anymore, he's now contending with the panic of losing two things, so he likely barely heard and couldn't comprehend Stolas's feelings.

In ordinary circumstances, less high stakes ones for Blitzø, I think Stolas actually did a pretty decent job of communicating himself and his feelings. But I get why Blitzø didn't take it seriously—he's been in an arrangement with Stolas for so long, thinks Stolas is getting bored, so of course he'd think, "Ah, yes, a new role play, a chance for me to do better and keep him from getting bored." Stolas is understandably upset by this, but man, he really did not give Blitzø a fucking second to process at all.

And this is why I think Blitzø's reaction is understandable (not necessarily reasonable or healthy or even appropriate, but I GET IT). Of course he feels like he's being thrown away. Stolas still has power because he's rich and he's royalty and Blitzø is used to being used and discarded and not good enough. Of course he's angry—he doesn't even feel like he's being given a choice because Stolas has already scripted this in his mind, went in prepared, and imagined how it will go. He mistakes Blitzø's misunderstanding and shock for rejection—also understandably because that's what Stolas is used to, and he doesn't seem to have any friends or support, which we've seen is a pattern since childhood.

What we're seeing is two lifetimes of trauma surfacing in the face of genuine connection and love, and neither Blitzø nor Stolas knows how to deal with that. Neither of them has ever seen what it's like to receive that before. Blitzø was in the circus with a dad who sold him to a prince for "a wadded up $5 and a slim fit condom" and was always placed in the shadow of his best friend, who then hated him for 15 years because he thought Blitzø purposely blew him up. Stolas was essentially raised by a butler with a dad who had zero emotional literacy and was then forced into an arranged marriage with someone who treated him like absolute shit.

They've both lived a life where love and relationships are transactional, and they don't know how to function when someone loves them for who they are. Of course they're going to struggle to communicate, and I don't blame either of them for their reactions, but I really, really want to see them have a calmer conversation where they can process this and understand each other and accept love.

[hallowsden]

Devotion

Zevlor x G/N!Tav snippet

Author Notes: All I'm gonna say is this was originally supposed to be only about 500 words only for me to finally get to the part of Act 2 where I managed to save Zevlor and OH BOY- it evolved into 1.2k words. Just- I adore Zevlor. This came out having more angst than I initially thought, though, so... Anyways, hope you all enjoy it! [Not beta read]

He pretends not to see the relief in your eyes when you first go up to him after fighting the Mind Flayers and Intellect Devourers. After all, why would you give him such a look with what he's done? No, that's just all in his imagination. He knows you're aware of his sins. Then again, you always did have a habit of knowing things before anyone else does...

Even without the tadpole that now inhabits his head like you and the other saviors, Zevlor could see through your brave mask. In those mismatched eyes he had grown fond of long before your lot had done the impossible all those months ago, he sees a mirror image of himself.

The festering fear that haunts you and everyone else like the shadows that barely stood by in this damnable land. The neverending guilt that attempts to drown you to the depths of your mind as the blood refuses to wash away from your hands, your head chanting apologies as you think about the what ifs of you have done better.

Zevlor knows that look you wore well. He's seen it in himself every time he caught a glimpse of his reflection, as of an occurrence that was... Not to mention, it reminded him of the others... The younger Hellriders especially tend to wear it more publicly, not yet developing the skills to effectively hide their inner demons yet... So many gone, just like that-...

The exhaustion you practically wore like a second skin, with bags that cling to you with a vengeance, one that came along with you before he had even met you. The exhaustion that weighed your trembling shoulders and buckling knees had it not been the adrenaline that roared through your ears-. Hell, he swears he could see some new scars marking your delicate face, even.

Has it been that long ago since he last saw you? You haven't appeared to have changed much, and yet...

And yet, as he goes on to blink, he senses it immediately as he explains himself to you. What once was the hollow void in your chest when he first met you, the one that mirrored his own so brokenly is now replaced with a bright, burning radiance of celestial strength and blessing, one that pulses to the beat of your heart.

A not so mirror image. But it was still you, nonetheless...

No longer were you a fellow oathbreaker who was ever so lost in the world and of yourself. You had what he once had, an Oath of Devotions that glowed in you but more, filling up your broken cracks like the way the false God had shown him if he just gave them his broken faith and devotion and followed what they said...

It was nothing but a lie, as his people got hunted down and slaughtered. The people he swore to protect... He betrayed them all and failed them once more.

But you're here, giving him a look of understanding... And admittedly, it confused him...

Why do you care for him, he's so tempted to ask. The moment you met him, you practically acted as if you were drawn to him like a Moth to a flame... He doesn't understand it. Why care for an old, decrepit man like him? And why did your eyes shine with familiarity when you two first met?

You saved him. And no doubt you saved the others. He just knows you did. From all that he knows about you, from word of mouth and the times you decided to hang around in his little area back in the Druid's Grove, you'd never let anyone suffer under your watch.

You were always so compassionate. He at first thought it was due to being a fellow Tiefling. Goodness, how the world already hated their kinds existence. It wasn't uncommon for Tieflings to stand up for one another. After all, who would if not themselves in the world they lived in? But no... He's seen how you work. Your heart was far bigger than the body that holds it. It was something he appreciated about you.

You were the person he once was. You were a person he wished to be once more. Brave and strong despite it all. Kind and passionate and protective even to the low lives like him.

He adored you more than he could ever realize up until now.

Maybe that's why he didn't hesitate when he hastily said "I want to help- if you let me" even when his throat burned with dryness and guilt as he spoke. Even when anxiety shot high in his blood, his tail pinned itself between his legs, feeling just how drained his body was.

He knows you have already done so much for him, for his people. But... Maybe he'll find salvation and forgiveness if he goes with you. Find redemption. At the very least, he could repay you with his services, even if it's being a meat shield as he goes to try and help out the others. He'd deserved that if anything...

Death was too good for someone like him. He deserved to be tortured for all his failures... Yet, when his eyes met yours...

... Maybe you were the angel he had prayed to the Gods for from before... Who knows? Not him. Not when he was surprised you even listened to any of his words. Not when you gave him such a gentle look, eyes full of empathy that he didn't deserve, as you asked him to join your party, another blade in the fight to come.

You... Want him by your side?*

And even when he had his doubts, not wanting to be a backstabber twice over, your glowing eyes met his as you said, "I trust you." You had said it with such earnestness, how could he deny you like that?

He could never turn you down, not with those eyes of yours... And distantly, he remembers how the other refugees would tease him upon meeting you back before everything went to shit... Admittedly, they were right. Just as you were drawn to him, he was drawn to you... Maybe that's why he cared for you more than others...

"... On the condition that if I ever freeze like that again, do not hesitate to strike me down. Better me gone than being a traitor once more." That was his only condition. And he sees you nodding, ignoring the slight hesitation you had at first.

He couldn't bear the idea of hurting you.

"Let's get you checked up and rested first, yeah? You've already been through a lot. And I need to go check for others trapped... Just follow me closely, alright?"

You care so much... He didn't deserve it.

Oh, how he didn't deserve you, but obediently, he followed you with his hand clasped in yours. For you, he'll give you his devotion and faith. His everything, even. After all, you never broke his trust. You never broke his faith. If anything, you gave him what he had lost for so long. Hope.

You have given hope to him just as you gave hope to others. Maybe that's what caused you to stand out from even your group.

You deserve the world with all the good you've done. Of how you saved his people. Of how you saved him. For that, he is grateful, and he'll make sure, as long as he sides with you, he'll help with any endeavors and goals you put your mind to, knowing it would always align with that good nature you carry in your heart. To the end, he will follow.

'So he swears, so mote it be.'

[scarlet-alleyway]

Okay im still brainrotting about your amazing work AND I HAVE TO ASK ABOUT THAT DAMN BULLET.

Will it make a comeback?? Will someone get hurt again?? Is Raph 100% okay or will there be some complications with the wound??? Idk if I’m fixating on minor details but I’ve been thinking about it sm

I mean... On a scale of 1 to ten,

.

.

.

How mad would you be?

[ef-1]

How did you post that Daniel video?

CLOCKED ‼️💀

[myfaveisfuckable]

Bro I think in every tournament I’ve been involved with on this blog, I’ve ended up voting purely so a character or ship who beat a character or ship I liked could lose. And every time it’s worked. I love it

Spite is a powerful motivator, indeed

[stil-lindigo]

seeing clearer

(sequel to another comic of mine, the calamity.)

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all my other comics

store

[strawbubbysugar]

I say this as someone who always uses anon for questions but uh. I completely understand if you revoke anon privileges after that. I think you should honestly. Good luck, stay true to the story you want to tell, and block anyone who starts shit in your inbox.

Nah. I love getting anons and I don’t want to punish people who did nothing wrong for one person’s actions. If I consistently get more asks like that the. Maybe, but for now, I’m not letting one bad ask ruin everybody else’s fun.

[romantically-yours]

I wanna pick up a girl and pin her against a wall and give her lots of lil smooches while we giggle like the little gay goblin gremlins that we are

[medi-bee]

(based off the glyph ask)

i don't think the wanderer glyph means "knowledge of", it doesn't make full sense in the context of the achievement. Since the wanderer is by sleeping in every region itself, it'd be kinda weird that it's just "knowledge". while it does make sense for some of the other glyphs it's in, i think it's more fitting that it's more like... every of. Like, every region. every echo (for the pilgrim), etc.

Pilgrimage could be something like "every karma" since it does require gaining karma 10, without just instantly skipping to it. you have to go through "every karma" first.

second thing, if we look at the glyphs "dragon slayer", "stolen enlightenment", "closure", and "outlaw" we can see a grouping of four lines (two on each side) that almost make an X pattern. given the nature of these glyphs, i think we can assume that this pattern means "to kill" or harming/destroying in some way. More than just violence. It could also mean... to steal, or perhaps steal and killing are similar in meaning. (stealing life, basically)

so Stolen enlightenment (the achievement you get from eating moon's neurons) could mean like. Stealing / Destroying (the X) Enlightenment/peace/blessing (monk) through eating (karma 4)

The glyph "assistance" could also be something related to iterators, as it's only really seen with in regards to them. There's also graffiti in moon's chamber, which looks like it has a similar symbol.

The messenger (spearmaster run achievement) glyph also has the same "7" like shape, just without a crossbar.

The graffiti btw ^

Good catch!! The Wanderer glyph is a tricky one. I think it makes the most sense when combining both interpretations, as in "knowledge of [every] region" or "knowledge of [every] echo" etc.

The Scholar seems to be the biggest supporter of the "knowledge" interpretation, being just the Wanderer glyph with the “assistance” glyph. You're right, the "assistance" symbol is only seen in Scholar and a Helping Hand, as far as I can tell... Yeah I'll accept that as the iterator symbol

The Messenger... possibly has a different variation of it? But I do notice that it has the singular vertical line also seen in Champion and Expedition Leader! Perhaps that line means "completed"?

OH THE SIDE LINES…. I noticed them but never consciously made the connection between them like that ... In A New Friend, the lines surround the O (monk glyph) specifically!

i am learning so much about rw glyphs

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

you're so right kunikuda is literally the strict mother who'd square up with anything and anyone who talks shit about her kids like he's standing on business

YOU. YOU GET ME 🫶🫶🫶

kunikida is sooooo Mother he’s so strict + nurturing + protective……. can and WILL suplex someone for making his baby feel inadequate in any way. he mothers you sm without even realizing it…… cooks your meals and cleans around the house and brushes your hair all while complaining that you need him to do this for you (he loves doing it) (you’re fully aware that he loves it) (he has a bad day at work when he doesn’t get to do it) he just loves you so much and he can’t Not show that with acts of service. kunikida is the ceo of acts of service. he might even beat sugu and i don’t say that lightly………..

like he’s so . Mother. mommy even. i need him desperately anon i won’t lie to you 😔😔

[louiswilliamtomlinsons]

tumblr should rise their post limit number to 350

[gardenianoire]

I never shave my chin and wear makeup anymore