#so today i had work (wahoo) and a week from now is my last day til i come back in the winter!!!

[fran-in-the-deep]

maybe if u wanna do this request i was thinking right. high school au with hange where they’re super geeky, and reader is popular but was nice to them and reader wants to ask hange to prom! i was thinking it could be a little angsty because maybe they would think it was a prank but they go together in the end >_<

also if u don’t want it to be a highschool au it could be like a college party maybe! i love ur work btw <33

A/N: First of all, thank you so much, this is such a cute request and because it got so long I didn't even get to the party part, I might have to write a second part for that. Then obviously sorry for taking so long, but I still hope you have a good time reading it! I decided on the Collage AU because where I'm from we don't really have an event that has so much significance like a prom and Collage AUs are just my passion now I guess.

1,3k words | Collage AU | mainly fluff, a little angsty | just two idiots in love

Wait, really?

You stood outside, back against the white concrete wall of the building E where the natural sciences where located. A flyer whose aesthetics screamed graphic design is my passion by the way the green letters for End of Semester Party have been printed onto the orange background, the cheap paper already starting to disintegrate in your grasp. Maybe your hands were sweating because you were nervous, maybe because it was the middle of July and you had been standing in the midday sun for about half an hour by now, contemplating about a matter that had nothing left to be contemplated about.

The decision to ask Hange out had already been made weeks ago and every day you spend an hour over lunch with them and the occasional text had you received when the Marine Biology major had found another paper about some weird species with a long latin name, you scrambled for a good occasion to finally ask them out. The problem was just that all of their interests, as much as you adored them and were fascinated, were way out of your comfort zone and you really didn’t want to embarrass yourself on what could be a first date. But then you didn’t want to pressure them into anything they wouldn’t be comfortable with either. You weren’t exactly in the same social circles after all.

Like, you could just go somewhere and people would know you, there was always someone to talk to and that worked out just well for you but-

“Heyyy! Are you heading to the cafeteria as well? We’ll have to hurry up if we still want to find some good seats.”

As you whipped your head around, Hange was leaning against the wall next to you, wearing a t-shirt with a long fish captioned Wahoo (Acanthocybium solandri). You had no idea what this meant, nor how you did not hear them approach you, nor how the hell you were supposed to ask them now. So you didn’t.

“Sure, I was just waiting for you actually.” Well, that was true at least.

“Let’s hurry, I think they have pizza on the menu today.”

Hange waited for you to join them on the way, all too happy to tell you about their shirt. Wahoo was a real fish apparently that often was confused with mackerels or barracudas, but the name was funny.

Over lunch they asked you about your day, letting your rant about how bad group works were and then told you about that paper on this newly discovered sponge they read the last night, but in terms a normal person could actually understand. And when you asked about the other sponge paper you tried and failed reading after they send it to you, their eyes were just sparkling and they were brimming with excitement and it was just so infectious. You had never seen anyone be so happy about a sponge they wouldn’t ever get to see in real life. Just, how were you not supposed to have at least a crush on them?

Hange with their funny patterned shirts for every occasion, who was so unashamedly themselves and passionate about the things they loved while never hesitating to share this enthusiasm and passion with others.

So on the way back to the train station you finally whipped out the flyer as if it was sword to fight this battle with. Just that a crumpled piece of paper wasn’t exactly sharp enough to stand against the absolute boulder of how badly prepared you felt for this. It wasn’t like you to be that nervous. Although apparently now it was.

“Have you heard of the End of Semester Party? The student councils of the different faculties coordinated it together and every faculty will also have booths and games and stuff. So it’s not just about getting drunk or anything. I thought you’d like that, so I wanted to ask whether you wanted to go there with me?”

You felt like you sounded like an 80s teleshopping segment, all that was missing was a look at the camera and listing of the phone number to call to order the absolutely legit product.

“Wait, you mean like a date? You’re not serious, are you?” Hange laughed nervously, averting their gaze.

They thought you weren’t serious. The realization hit you like a cold bucket of water. Or the boulder, or maybe the bucket had this Wahoo fish in it, whatever nonsensical metaphor would be the most appropriate to describe a verbal slap to the face.

Was it because they wouldn’t consider you as someone to go out with? But then they would have just said no, or something nicer to reject you, they didn’t even have to bring up the date. Did they think it was some kind of prank? The kind of things that were always pulled off in highschool? Maybe Hange had bad experiences with that. People were assholes after all.

But Hange was the last person who deserved to be treated like that. Damn it, they deserved all the love and appreciation and being asked out, even if they would end up turning you down. You would deal with this somehow.

“Yes, I’m serious. A date on that party, you, me. I thought we could participate in those games as a team or so. Of course you don’t have to say yes.” At this point you were flailing around with your hands, or at least it felt like it. It felt awkward to show so much vulnerability first, but then, maybe it was the right thing to do. Hanges eyes widened slightly.

“Wait, does that mean you’re asking me out right now?”

“Yes, that’s what I mean.” After this you would be the most confident person in the world, because how the hell would you be able to keep talking now otherwise.

Hange covered their face with their hands. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry. I screwed this up so bad.”

“What? No no, don’t be. It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.” Some beats of silence, or maybe it was your heart not beating, you were unsure. “If you want, you can think about it for a while. Don’t feel pressured or anything, it’s all good. I just hope we can stay friends.”

“Yeah, of course- I mean, we can stay friends. Ah no, I mean- I’d like to go to that party with you. On like the- the date. The date. With you. You and me. On that date. On that party.” Now Hange was flailing.

“Wait really?” You had this whole communication thing down, definitely. But then, being nervous should be okay. Considering Hange was just as much of a mess as you were.

“Yeah, really. I just didn’t think you’d ask me out. I mean I guess I haven’t really been asked out before? And then you’re so popular and I thought you already were in a relationship… seems like I was overthinking again.”

Hange just gave you the sweetest smile in the entire world as their tension eased and even let out this little laugh that you adored so much and if you weren’t smiling like some love struck idiot yourself you would be surprised. They had agreed and the happiness made you feel all fuzzy and happy and it was perfect despite the awkwardness, because it was just you and them.

“Not only you. But at least now we can be overthinking together. And you really need to tell me where you get those shirts from.”

So that’s what it was, a party, a date. Hange and you.

------------------------------------

A/N: Hange's shirt this time was presented by the following meme from my fish meme folder:

[seabreeze2022]

2023 Bahama Cruise, Part 21, April. 24. Cat Island Road trip.

Above on the left is the abandoned church built by Father Jerome, in 1944. It was mostly paid for by the Franciscans of Western Australia. Saint Francis of Assisi Catholic Church. Named after the patron saint of nature and animals on an island named “Cat Island”, go figure. Unfortunately we could not go in to see it. Look up the out of print book about his life, “The Hermit of Cat Island”.

This is a basic drawing by Father Jerome, of what he intended the church to look like.

The day starts with George picking up Nancy and I in his dinghy at 0800 on Sunday. After he drops us off at the beach we walk 30 minutes to Gilberts Grocery Store. We had arranged on Saturday that we could rent a car this morning. No cars today they say. Well maybe a car, they say. Ok you can rent that car, it is not clean.

Sure no problem. The car rental is $80 with $8 VAT tax. They copy down Drivers License. Give us the key. No questions about insurance, who the driver is. No mention of dents and damage. Those are a given!

We swing by the beach while George and Lisa anchor their dinghy and join us. With no agenda we head south.

Passing through Old Bight, we see a produce stand beside the road. Mary came out of her house and sold us tomatoes. Eight tomatoes cost $3.

Above photos are taken from the internet of the St. Frances of Assisi church. Father Jerome was ahead of his time and made the Jesus statue dark like the locals, instead of Lilly white like most did in his day.

Next stop was Hawks Nest Marina at the most southern and western part of the island. When the sport fishing boats return and clean their catch. Schools of Bull sharks go crazy. We only saw 3 Bull sharks waiting for dinner. To get to the marina you have to cross the runway. Thought of Rev. Burke Rolle who was hit by a plane doing that in Staniel Cay.

The quick drop off so near shore is the reason the fish and fishermen are at Hawks Nest Marina.

An ex-pats house name at Hawks Nest, which also the name of our sailboat.

We walked the north shore and the south shore of the area around Hawks Nest. While walking through the cemetery at Port Howe, the goats came walking by. Naturally Nancy had to go see them.

This is our visit to the Deveaux Plantations Great house, in Port Howe. A gentleman came over from next door to talk with us. His name is Prince Hunter. The slaves commonly took the names of their owners. Just up the eastern shore of Cat Island. Is the old 400 acre Joseph Hunter “Golden Grove” plantation.

This plantation made the news when there was an uprising of the slaves in 1840. Like most plantations of the day. Once slavery was abolished, the plantations fell apart. The rich white land owner left. The slaves were still on the land. Over the years and generations of squatting, the descendants of the slaves now consider it their land. Prince was no exception, when I heard his last name I said, “ Oh your are from the “Golden Grove” plantation. He said, “Yes that is my peoples land”.

Prince took us in to the back room of the cook house and showed us the scratches on the wall of ships. Very faint but they are there.

It was getting close to lunch time, so we back tracked to “da Pink Chicken”. Dean an American ex-pat and his wife Patti, who is a local run the place. They have a house on Duck Key in the Florida Keys. This is the place that movie stars, and Billionaires go to blend in. You never know who you are rubbing elbows with at the bar. Dean works a grueling 12 hours a week. Actually he tends bar and drinks 12 hours a week and his wife Patti slaves over the hot kitchen stove cooking fantastic meals. Conch are delivered fresh when needed. See the truck load above. They are then hung over the sea wall in nets. Fresh Wahoo and Cracked Conch were our request.

With full bellies we drove to the “Healing Hole” salt pond. Taking an overgrown dirt road a mile, we got to the end and found another car load of people partaking. Swimming in the “Healing Hole” is like swimming in the Red Sea. You float very high in the super saline water. Nancy was the only one brave enough in our group to try it. She had problems turning over on to her stomach.

We took a long and torturous road back to civilization. Along the way we did see someone doing “Slash and Burn Farming”. This is very common on the island. Besides burning the land they cut off all the trees 5-6 ft. tall. Then the peas can climb the trees trunks and get sun.

I needed to return the car the next morning, but the gas station was out of fuel. The rental agency told me drive down to Old Bight and fill the tank. It is about 4 miles south. So I got to talk to Albert at the gas station, laundry mat .

So ends the road trip on Monday morning. Rake and scrape next!

Sea Breeze, New Bight, Cat Island, Bahamas.

[set-phasers-to-whump]

they both know

prompt: “hey, wait, you’re still bleeding!” from this post by @whumpster-dumpster !! (i am in love w this prompt btw, it is just. so good.)

this one is a little bit different...i’ve done one other fic like this before (funnily enough for last year’s wij) but basically there aren’t really characters. you can imagine the people as whatever characters you like, or imagine them as like, random people idk (that’s what i did lol). anyway this was really fun to do, i liked doing sth a bit different! i hope you like it!

“Hey, wait, you’re still bleeding!”

“Huh?” He turns around in the doorway, and for a second the light from the hallway illuminates him in a way that might be almost beautiful were it not for the rapidly-growing bloodstain on his shirt and the freshly cleaned (but still very much present) cuts on his face. 

“Look down. You’re bleeding.”

He looks down, then slowly looks back up, surprise evident on his face.

“What happened?” 

“I…I don’t know.”

She guides him back to the barstool that he’d so recently vacated. He sits down heavily, resting his chin on his hands, elbows propped against the cool granite of the counter. 

“You really don’t know how you ended up bleeding through your shirt?”

He shakes his head. “Honestly, I didn’t even register it until you told me I was still bleeding. I thought I’d gotten away with a couple scrapes and bruises.”

She carefully pulls his shirt up and away from the spot of blood, and he does his best to pull his arms through the sleeves. His injury protests, but he ignores it. The shirt comes all the way off, and he sucks in a breath, and so does she. 

There’s a small piece of metal embedded in his stomach, where the skin is scraped and dirty. 

“Do you remember your shirt being off at any point during the fight?”

He thinks hard, then shakes his head. 

A second later, he remembers. “Wait. I fell, at one point. I remember my shirt getting pushed up, my hands getting scraped. It hurt, but I was a little too busy trying to avoid getting the shit kicked out of me to pay much attention.” He laughs slightly. “Lot of good that did me. Got the shit kicked out of me and ended up with…whatever the hell it is that’s stabbing me.”

“It just looks like scrap metal,” she says. “It seems reasonable that it could’ve been on the ground when you fell.”

He nods. 

“I assume you don’t want to go to the hospital for this, either?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll be fine. I trust your medical skills.”

She sighs. “I appreciate the compliment,” she says drily. “When was your last tetanus shot?”

“Last year. I had an…altercation with a piece of rebar.”

“Of course you did. This probably isn’t gonna be pleasant, you know.”

“I know. I’ll be fine.”

She doesn’t argue - they both know he’s telling the truth. He’s had far worse. She’s patched up far worse. 

It’s a fairly simple process. It starts out the same way that their evening together had started - with cleaning the wounds. She snaps on a fresh pair of rubber gloves, then runs a cold antiseptic wipe across the raw, red skin of his stomach, cleaning out the small scrapes and the area around the piece of metal. He barely even flinches, used to the feeling by this point. 

The next step is to remove the metal. 

“This doesn’t look like it’s in there very deep, but it’ll probably start bleeding more heavily when I take it out. I’m gonna give you a paper towel, and as soon as I get the metal out, I need you to press the towel into the cut as hard as you can, okay?”

She grabs a few sheets of paper towel and passes them over. He grabs them, crumpling them into a ball and holding them at the ready. 

“One, two, three,” she says, half under her breath, and then grabs hold of the piece of metal and pulls, quick and smooth. 

He yelps, slightly undignified. He recovers quickly enough, pressing the paper towels against his skin as, sure enough, blood starts pouring more rapidly out of the wound. 

He holds the towels there until they’re almost soaked through. 

“Let me see now,” she instructs, and he carefully pries the soggy towels away from his body. She peers at the wound, looks carefully at the piece of metal, shiny with blood. It’s two inches long, at most, and the wound itself is no more than an inch deep. Not too bad, she figures. 

“I can work with this.”

“What does that mean?” he asks, though they both know already. 

“I’ll stitch it up. Won’t take long. Won’t feel very good, either.”

“It’s fine.”

Wordlessly, she reaches into a cabinet beneath the counter and pulls out a bottle of vodka. She passes it to him, and he sets the bloody paper towels down on the counter to grab it. 

“God, that’s awful,” he coughs, setting the bottle onto the counter with a thud. 

“It’s better than getting stitched up completely sober,” she argues. He grimaces at her, then takes another sip. 

“You ready?”

“Sure.” He looks down at her hands, watching as she dabs the bloody wound with a damp paper towel to clean it out. 

A second later, the paper towel she is holding has been replaced with a threaded needle, and they both take a deep breath before she begins. He keeps his eyes firmly trained on her hands. 

“You sure you wanna watch?”

He doesn’t reply. He kind of feels like he can’t look away, even if he wanted to. He watches the needle, watches the movement of her hands, even and precise and steady. 

The needle pierces his skin. He watches as it pokes in and then out, leaving a trail of thread behind. It doesn’t actually hurt that much, at any rate not as much as he’d expected, but the act of watching his skin get sewn back together makes him feel sort of dizzy. Still, he can’t tear his eyes away. He watches as the needle and thread makes its way up the fairly short length of the wound, and is thankful that it’s not larger. He thinks he might pass out if this goes on for much longer, but luckily it seems like she’s almost done. 

She ties off the thread, cuts the rest away, sets the needle aside. He’s left with nothing but the stitches in his skin. He lets out a harsh, shaky exhale, blinks hard to try and curb the dizziness, and then slumps forward. 

She catches him, putting two firm hands on his shoulders and pushing him upright. “You good?”

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a few seconds. When he opens them back up, the dizziness has faded a bit, and her concerned face is sharply in focus. 

“I’m good,” he says. 

“Sure,” she agrees, carefully pressing a gauze bandage over the fresh stitches. “You’re good. You gonna walk home like this?”

He raises a shoulder in an approximation of a shrug. He’s capable of it, he knows. But it’s dark and it’s late and he did just get beaten up in a back alley, then stitched up in his friend’s kitchen, so - 

“Yeah, no, that wasn’t really a question. You’re not walking home like this.”

He entertains the idea of telling her that she can’t tell him what to do, except that they both know full well that she can, and she will. 

“You’re staying. I need to keep an eye on my patient, anyway.”

“I can take care of myself, you know.”

“Alright, Mr. Observant. And tell me again, which one of us was it that realized you were seriously bleeding?”

They share a smile they’ve shared a hundred times before, and he knows he’s beat (though, if he’s being honest, he’d known that since he first turned up here). 

“Okay, I give up. I release myself into your hospitality.”

She grins, wide and bright - victory. “I’ll grab some blankets. You up for a movie?”

He always is.

thanks for reading this even though it’s not for any fandom lol. i had so much fun writing it and i hope you liked it!!!!

[theonceoverthinker]

The Search for the Spot

Summary: There are some things Clover won’t tell Qrow, things Qrow realizes he’ll have to find for himself. Now, if only Clover wasn’t so good at hiding those things.

AO3

(Don’t worry -- you’re all still getting one of the HCs tonight, too!, but my writing mojo is BACK mofos!!!! WAHOO!!!!)

As her prize in my 300 HC giveaway, @collectingsparechangemadeeasy requested a sequel to my fic “Say Uncle.” I’m not gonna spoil it here, but it was a pretty...unique piece of mine (That I actually made on my birthday!), and I’m so happy to do a follow up to it! You don’t need to read the original fic for this story, though you might enjoy the continuity. Thank you for the request and for your patience while I got my writing mojo back, @collectingsparechangemadeeasy! Enjoy!

()()()()()()()()

Qrow knows desperation and what it means to fight the seemingly impossible off to the bitter, bitter end far better than most anyone else alive these days.

He knows what it’s like to cling to hope, even when it’s at its faintest, to grit his teeth at a world determined to bring him down, or to not have hope, but fight anyways just because it’s the right thing to do.

It’s painful, thankless, requires determination, and involves eternally balancing on the edge of sanity as hope dangles possibilities in front of him like a hunk of cheese at the center of a mousetrap.

Qrow’s seen it all before, lived it all before, and survived it all before.

He understands that the lessons that kind of existence teaches don’t abandon you, even after peace begins to blossom in your life in the same way it does with an elegant flower.

Giving up is never the answer, no matter how exhausted and out of your wits you are. 

It’s especially not an option when your husband stares at you with that same infuriating smirk of his that he’s always had, reveling in your failure as he says the one word you wish more than anything for him not to say.

“Nope.”

The word is simple, yet merciless -- dumbfounding, and mocking through its sheer existence.

Never before has Qrow Branwen hated a word so much as he decides in this moment he hates this four-lettered abomination.

Qrow looks up from his spot on the floor and meets Clover’s eyes. He hopes to find falsehood in them, any kind of betrayal of his words in their sea green shine, a stray crinkle in the nearby skin, the tiniest bit of dilation to suggest a truth different than what he just stated.

There’s nothing of the sort to be found.

More than anything, he wants to throw a pillow at his head just for that.

Even still, he can’t quite loosen his grip on Clover’s foot just yet.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he grunts instead.

“Does it look like I’m kidding you?” Clover retorts.

To be fair, with that damned smirk on his face, he almost does.

But even as he seethes on the truth, Qrow knows better than to doubt it, not after he’s met and confirmed the words and his husband’s face for himself. 

“I’m going to find it,” Qrow promises. There’s the slightest temptation to smile, but he commends his sense of petulance for dominating it and perfectly maintaining his frown.

“I’m sure you will,” Clover humors, his smirk now a jovial smile, albeit, not the one Qrow was hoping to see as a result of his endeavors. He’d make it a reality one day. “Eventually. Just not today.”

Qrow shoots his husband a grouchy look. 

How does he manage to argue with his unvoiced thoughts like that, and make it seem like he didn’t do that at all?

What kind of superhuman mind reader is he involved with?

“Hey,” Clover continues, taking Qrow away from those thoughts just as quickly as he pushed him into them. “While you’re down there, feel like giving me a foot rub?”

Qrow attempts to push Clover’s foot out of his hands -- a silent, yet firm answer to his inquiry -- but Clover applies just enough pressure to the limb to weigh it down so he can’t. 

“Please?” Clover begs, now making a face littered with puppy dog eyes.

Really, how over-the-top can he get?

Well, Qrow reminds himself, it is Clover. Over-the-top is to him like peanut butter is to jelly.

“Not a chance.”

Once more, Qrow tries to get Clover’s foot away from him, but Clover ensures that it stays right where it is.

“I’ll give you a hint,” Clover offers, flexing his toes, “if you make it worth my while, that is.” There’s then a relaxation of tension in Clover’s foot. This is the last time he’ll ask -- and the last time this offer will be on the table for Gods’ knows how long.

The manipulative ass.

Why did he marry him again?

Something about love and understanding?

Beats him right about now.

Qrow glares at the foot. His pride half shouts at him to reject the offer out of hand -- literally. He’ll find out what he needs to know on his own. It might take him some time, but hey -- they’ve got a lifetime together for Qrow to work with.

However, Clover’s good at hiding things when he wants to, and he’s clearly really wanted to hide this. Qrow’s checked all the usual spots. That only leaves the abundance of unusual spots to explore.

He’s been good at hiding this for so long…

Maybe a little hint would be just what he needs to finally get his answer.

Qrow’s thumb begins kneading the ball of Clover’s big toe and without even looking at Clover’s face, he can feel the smile on his husband’s face for his triumph. 

Gods, this is humiliating...

The foot’s sibling slides down to just beside Qrow’s right knee seconds after he starts rubbing it.

“One at a time,” Qrow groans.

Clover smiles and lays back in their armchair, his hands behind his head.

“No problem with that,” he says, “I’ve got all the time in the world.”

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

“So what’s my hint?”

Qrow’s hands haven’t been stretched this much in a while. He’d relax them against his pants, but he has a feeling he’d better wait to wash them first.

Clover’s feet aren’t what he’d call stinky necessarily, but he wouldn’t eat off them anytime soon.

Speaking of, Clover’s feet, now on the ground, flex, his toes jumping up and down like waves on the seashore just to show off how good they feel. 

“You certainly did a good job,” Clover praises. 

“And I don’t need to tell you that a good job deserves a good reward,” Qrow points out, smirking, ready to put together whatever it is Clover tells him and find what he’s spent weeks looking for.

“Okay,” Clover teases. He leans into Qrow’s ear and begins whispering. “Here’s your tip: It’s somewhere you like to touch a lot.”

Qrow’s mouth falls open. 

He cannot be serious.

That can’t be it.

It just can’t be.

However, as Qrow sees Clover pop away from him just as quickly as he came near him, it becomes quite clear that that’s all Clover’s giving him.

“No,” Qrow protests, in the bluntest matter-of-fact tone he can muster. “I reject this hint, and demand a better one.”

Clover smirks. “And why’s that?”

As if Clover doesn’t already know.

Qrow can tell right away exactly what his husband wants to hear: That he enjoys touching every part of him, so the hint is no clue.

Well, no. He’s not getting that kind of ego trip, not when he pulls a stunt like this.

“You know damn well why, Clover.” They’ve both noticed how the tone of Qrow’s voice has raised significantly since he last spoke.

Clover -- still smiling, still always smiling -- presses his lips together. 

“I have n-no idea what you mean,” he says, obviously attempting and failing to create an innocent aire about him.

There are a lot of innocent things about Clover. 

This isn’t one of them.

It’s so clear how much Cover just wants to give up the facade of a pretense he’s holding up and start roaring with laughter as he stands there looking like a shaken soda bottle waiting to be opened.

And if Qrow’s being honest with himself, it’s probably pretty clear that Qrow wants to hear that very same laughter. He just wanted it to be delivered to him in a very different context than it will be now.

Well, if Clover’s about to have some fun at his expense, then he may as well get a bit of retribution for it.

In one quick, fluid notion, Qrow grabs a throw pillow from the couch beside him and flings it right into Clover’s chest.

Immediately, Clover groans, his chest folding in half from the pillow as he tries to diminish the pain.

Clover’s grunt has Qrow laughing, and much to his petulance but a moment later, it seems to have had the same effect on Clover himself.

“I thought this was a tickle fight,” Clover wheezes through his laughter, still semi-keeled over from his feathery wound, “not a pillow fight.”

Qrow smirks. “All’s fair in love and tickling, especially when you give me that kind of clue after I just rubbed your feet.”

“Speaking of fair,” Clover retorts, “in all fairness, you were the one who trapped me and started tickling my feet, so convinced that you got the right spot this time. Sorry I’m not as easy to tickle as you, but really, this is all your doing.”

That cheeky bastard.

Qrow, half shouting, pushes his feet-smelling hands into Clover’s face. 

“This is what I had to deal with for a half hour!”

Clover laughs, trying to push him away.

“Gross! Cut it out!”

Qrow, now laughing too, keeps at it. 

“Give me a better hint!”

Qrow keeps pushing Clover backwards. It only occurs to Qrow that they might have gone a bit too far back when he feels the front of their armchair knock against his shins.

Clover, clearly trying to stabilize himself, loops his arm around Qrow’s waist. However, Qrow’s mid-fall by the point that he does, and onto the armchair they go...and as their momentum hits the armchair with the force of a bullet train, their trip takes an extra, far more bumpy stop.

Limbs find themselves tangled and incoherent sounds fly into the open air as the two of them, plus their chair, hit the floor. The landing thuds throughout their home and spreads dust from the chair’s bottom flying across the space behind them. Qrow’s hand moves to massage his chin, and Clover arches his back to relieve it of the armchair’s tension.

They look at each other. Qrow feels the chaos they caused in so little time spark all around them. He can tell Clover feels the same.

Then...they laugh. They laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more.

Qrow feels Clover’s hands on his back and the stench of Clover’s feet on Qrow’s hands transfer to Clover’s shirt as they hug, practically giggling all the while as they embrace.

Minutes pass in this state before they help each other up and get to work setting their living room back to normal. Qrow straightens out the carpet  and slaughters some dust bunnies with the help of a nearby tissue box and wastebasket while Clover resets the throw pillows and the armchair.

When it’s finally done, they turn to each other again.

“I’m going to find it,” Qrow says, repeating his promise from earlier, but now grinning from ear to ear. Clover looks at him like he’s the world’s most enticing mystery novel. Once upon a time, that would’ve been enough to blush until his cheeks were more like tomatoes than human skin, but now, any discoloration like that comes from moments just like these -- laughter, annoyance, chaos, love, and everything in between.

“I know you will,” Clover says, shoulders rising and falling in the same way a balloon floats in a child’s hand. “But I’m gonna make it fun for myself until you do.”

Really, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Clover and Qrow approach each other, hands gently taking hold of arms once they’re close enough to do so. 

“Well, go for it,” Qrow says, leaning his head forward until it makes contact with his husband’s shit, hanging just above his heart. “Want to know why?”

Clover rests his head on Qrow’s shoulder. Qrow can feel his smile touch Qrow’s on their cheeks.

“Enlighten me,” Clover says, a chuckle bubbling underneath him.

Qrow’s never been the greatest with words, but in this moment, he knows exactly what to say.

“Because when it comes to you, giving up’s never going to be an option.”

[journal-of-an-outlaw]

Price to be Paid - Chapter 31

Wahoo my favorite chapter, read on AO3

The bliss from your wedding could only last so long, and you knew that, but it didn’t lessen the blow when things had to return to normal. 

“This is it, Dutch, our last big score!”

Hosea had poured over a map of Saint Denis for days mapping every possible route into the bank, the job Dutch claimed over and over was going to save the gang. 

“I’m telling you, this is the way to do the job. The best way! The distraction will buy you all the time you need.”

Arthur groaned from underneath you. You had fallen asleep in the morning sun and the voices from downstairs carried far too much for your liking, waking you up to the harsh light of day. 

“All they talk about lately is that damn job,” Arthur muttered. “If I heard ‘Saint Denis bank’ one more time I am going to lose it.”

“Arthur!” Dutch yelled from the bottom of the stairs. “Get down here, we need your help with this.”

The past few weeks since your wedding had been as blissful as they could when you lived with a large group of people on the run from the law. You and Arthur had enjoyed many free days where no one asked a thing of you. The lake was the perfect spot for picnics and more than once Arthur had suggested you slip away and relax at the water side. It was perfect and everything you could hope it would be.

But all good things had to end. 

“I’m coming! Arthur hollered back. He groaned as he sat up and you decided it was best to greet the day as well. 

“You know they trust you, that’s what they’re trying to say,” you spoke as you dressed. 

“They sure have a strange way of showing it.”

You were quick to follow Arthur down the stairs, greeting folks as they passed. Most were still rubbing the sleep from their eyes or drinking a cup of coffee. 

“I...I don’t like it.”

Dutch’s hesitation was palpable. For days he had been telling Hosea something about this job felt off, his intuition saying this was not the way. It struck you as odd because Dutch had been searching for one more score, one big was out and when presented with the idea he shrugged it off. 

You leaned against the doorframe watching Arthur approach the bickering old men. They went back and forth, agreeing and disagreeing about the best way to proceed. 

“It’s the right plan. We’ve done the work. I’ve been in town, looking, watching and waiting. I’ve tested it as well as I can. It’s the right plan.”

“I know,” Dutch chucked at how worked up Hosea had become. “I know. But between us, I’m...nervous. I suppose that’s it.”

Hosea placed a hand on Dutch’s shoulder and squeezed. “You’re never nervous, that’s been my job all these years.”

It was clear Hosea was leading this robbery. He had timed the whole operation out and wanted it to move like clockwork, each cog and arm greased up and ready to go. You could see a younger man shining through; one who spent days and weeks putting heists together, using each member of the gang in s specific sequence so everything would be just right. 

As the three men got to talking, Micah walked in and watched behind you. It was unpleasant to have him over your shoulder but you remembered your vow to keep the peace with him as best you could.

“What’re they planning in there?”

“Bank job. Last one to get us out of here,” you responded softly. 

“The big bank? In Saint Denis?” Micah scoffed. “That’s one lofty goal for our ragtag crew, don’t you think?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, Hosea has it all planned out. What could go wrong?”

“Oh, girlie, there’s plenty could go wrong. But let’s hope none of it does and we make out on top.” Micah shot you a wink that made you shutter and walked back out the front doors, taking off for somewhere or something in town. 

“Every plan is a good plan if we execute it properly. Every problem we ever had was because we did not execute properly.”

Hosea spoke impassioned. He needed Dutch to see he was right. 

“You’re right.” Dutch stood dramatically and looked between his lifelong partners in crime. “Let’s rob this bastard. We’ll leave tomorrow morning. Look smart. Travel light.” 

The leader passed you with a half smile before going to track down Mrs. Grimshaw and Pearson to tell them of the new plan. At least we had some notice this time and didn’t have to throw everything around in a hurry. 

Arthur asked you to help clean the room and you packed together, chatting to keep the nerves away. There had been a moment where he wanted you to go with Hosea and stay away from the action but you refused; if your husband was going in so were you. He didn’t fight you on that very long. 

The thought of leaving Shady Belle filled you with melancholy. It was strange to think that one building could hold so many memories from just a short time. The gang really hadn’t been there that long but they had managed to make a lasting impact that could be seen as you walked the halls for one of the last times. You had to look forward; things would be better. How much more suffering and pain could one group take?

You found Abigail playing outside with Jack later in the evening, staring up at the night sky and admiring the stars. You plopped down next to her and tilted your own head back, thinking about the heavens. 

“You ever wonder if our destinies are planned?”

“I sure hope not. To think that someone put all of this together for us means we have no free will, no choice would be our own. And they would put us through all that pain!”

“Sometimes...I guess it’s just nice to think that I wasn’t the one who made all the mistakes in my life. That I could blame someone else for the way things turned out.”

Abigail spoke in hushed tones but never looked down from the sky. Her words echoed in your mind. 

“Your life isn’t full of mistakes, it’s full of love.”

“Yeah,” she snorted. “Sometimes a bit too much love if you know what I mean.”

She and John had been fighting again. From your shared room with Arthur you could hear them through the walls going on about raising Jack and trying to show him a better life. 

“Jack will be just fine, he’s got a lot of us who care. And so will you. You know I’ll never leave, you’ve got a friend for life.” You wrapped your arm around her shoulders and sat like that, enjoying the view and marveling at the size of the world around you. 

It was hard to sleep that night. 

You tossed and turned with anticipation of the next day, knowing everything would be different after the sun rose up in the sky. It could be a good change; like fire burning away the underbrush to allow for new life. Or it could be disastrous. 

The dichotomy of the choices made you restless. 

Arthur shook your shoulder gently that it was time to go. It was much too early, and the terrible night of sleep made it hard to drag your body from the warm bed and you tossed it a sad smile knowing it was the last time you would see the room you called home. 

The look on your face must have told Arthur something for he gave your hand a squeeze after you met him at the bottom of the stairs. 

“You know what?” He looked at you softly. “At the end of today, we’re going to look back and know we did everything right. We faced the day together as wife and husband. I’m never letting you go.”

With a kiss to your hand you felt your confidence rise back into place. All it needed was a boost from Arthur. Today was going to go smoothly, nothing could bring you down from the high of life you were riding. 

Everyone was dressed to the nines. Fine black suits with hats for the men, and clean flowing gowns adorned every woman. It was almost as if you were headed to a Sunday mass instead of a bank robbery. Even Jack had found a flower to stick in his coat pocket. 

“You got everything Arthur?” Dutch called as he handed Hosea a suitcase to load into a wagon. 

Arthur nodded. “Sure, house is cleared out of everything we could grab.”

“Just think!” Hosea spoke up brightly. “Within six weeks we’ll be living life anew in a tropical idyll spending the last of our days as banana farmers?”

The plan was for Hosea and Abigail to serve as the distraction. On their wagon sat crates of dynamite that when lit, would bring enough police attention that the robbery in town wouldn’t be able to pull them all away, giving the group enough time to slip out unnoticed. Hosea had looked over the details for days on end and everyone trusted him to know this plan backwards and forwards, no small part missed. 

You were riding in and acting with the robbery. At first, Arthur had asked that you go with Hosea and Abigail for they were far less likely to be caught. But to you that was out of the question. Now that you and Arthur were married you didn’t want him running off into battle alone, something you had to repeat over and over before Hosea finally relented and added you to the bank detail. It just made sense that you would be there. 

With your nerves shoved to the back of your mind, you sat next to Arthur on Eclipse as Zues stamped his feet anxiously.  

“Let’s get out of this god forsaken place and go rob ourselves a bank!”

A chorus of cheers rang out as the gang envisioned what life could be like after today. No more running and hiding, no more threats from the law, no more being told that their way of life was wrong or backwards, just freedom and the incredible feeling of hot sand between your toes. 

You were more than ready to be out of this place. 

Micah led the group up and out of Shady Belle, the horses moving much quicker than the wagons. It was slightly comical to watch a large group in impressive threads leave such a ratty and worn down home. Over the past few weeks you decided firmly that sleeping with four walls around you was a comfort you preferred. 

“This is it, ladies and gentlemen! The last one.”

Dutch was gearing up for a big speech as he rode behind Micah. 

“Where have we heard that one before?” John asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. 

“What has happened to you, John? You lost all your heart.”

“I’m just trying to stay real about all of this.”

“Real!” Dutch spit. “Oh how I detest that word. So devoid of imagination.”

The group rode over the railroad tracks and your heartbeat started to pick up. This was real, you were taking part in a bank robbery. Oh if only your father could see you now. The lawman’s rebel daughter. 

“How soon are we shipping out?” Micah called from somewhere ahead. 

Dutch replied, “As soon as we get the passage organized. A boat down to Argentina, then another around the cape.”

“What about the money in Blackwater? We’re just gonna leave that behind?”

“Forget that, it's gone.” Dutch swiped a fly and the question away. “You all talk like it’s the only goddamned money in the world. We’re gonna take that and more, take it from the people who take it from us. This isn’t some hick town, hundred dollar operation. This is a big city bank!”

“Right,” John broke in. “With security, guards, police.”

“Hosea has done his reconnaissance,  we’ve been over this.” Dutch almost sounded tired. “The plan. One last time. Hosea and Abigail will draw out the police, we go in fast and calm. John and Lenny, secure the front doors. Javier takes the side exit. Bill, Micah, YN, and Charles, control the crowd. Me and Arthur deal with the bank manager and the vault. Got it?”

Everyone agreed that they did. Most of the other women were leaving with the camp supplies and not participating, and the look Dutch gave you was not lost as he took in his crew. 

Hosea reckoned they needed about fifteen minutes to set the distraction with Abigail and pull enough police and that sounded fine by Dutch. As the others rode off with the wagons, Sadie threw you a smile of encouragement and you spurred Eclipse on to keep up with the others. Nothing, not even your nerves, would hold you back from this job. 

Arthur had talked about when to tell Dutch that maybe sailing to another part of the world was not in the cards for you two, but it still hadn’t come up. Before the bank job seemed a poor choice as it would only take away Dutch’s focus, so tentatively the plan was set for later. There was a lot to think about lately and that was just another worry to add to the pile. 

“Everybody know the drill! We head in hard and stay calm. They won’t be expecting us. Any minor trouble, head back to camp. We’ll leave in a few days.”

Your nerves must have really been showing through as even Micah threw you a half grin. It wasn’t pleasant, but you accepted it nonetheless. 

Bill and Charles rode ahead to break up the group, hoping that it wouldn't look like a giant posse riding in together. The five of you left held back a few minutes and then rode into town, through the gates of Saint Denis and into the belly of the beast. You couldn't tell if your shaking hands had more to do with being on horseback or the impending mission, but you steeled them to stay still as you moved through the streets. 

Arthur pulled Zeus back and rode next to you. 

“How’re you doing?” 

Despite the bundle of nerves moving through your veins you had to smile. Arthur was clearly a bit worked up about the whole thing too; his words had a slight twang to them as he spoke. 

“Oh, I’m fine. I remember what you taught me. Just…” you looked around and remembered the first time you marveled at Saint Denis. “What if something happens?”

“It won’t, I promise you’ll be safe. Hosea went over this so many times he knew we had to get it right.”

You nodded. You had heard him mumbling the details for days.

Before you could respond your destination came into view and your mouth went dry. Lemoyne National Bank. The imposing building stood nearly three stories high with gold and white paint covering the exterior. The sun beating down was hot and you wiped beads of sweat off your brow after hitching Eclipse up next to Arthur and Bill. 

Charles made his way over. “Just wanted to say good luck. I know you’ll be fine, but...you know.” 

You smiled at your friend. His words brought you comfort even though they were minimal, but knowing Charles this was the equivalent of a long speech. You patted his arm in thanks and followed the group over to Dutch. 

“Foks. Robbing thieves, it ain’t no crime at all. People like this...they stole what this country could have been.” The men grunted in agreeance. “Now, act natural. Wait for Hosea to do his thing.”

As a trolley rolled slowly in front of you Arthur took your hand in his. 

“Now, it ain’t too late and no one would say a thing if you decided to leave. I’ll put you on this trolley and collect you myself as soon as we’re done and we can leave; put this city behind us and head off to freedom. You just have to say the word.”

You searched Arthur’s eyes and saw nothing but love and worry. The beautiful way the blue and green and maybe in the right light grey mixed together filled you with happiness and you knew your answer before speaking. On your tiptoes, you pressed a kiss to Arthur’s cheek and beamed at him. 

“You know I’m staying. I’ll be right at your side.”

Just as Arthur opened his mouth to speak the ground shook violently below you. You grabbed Arthur’s arm for support as the screams and voices rose through the city. 

Dutch let out a full laugh. “I love that Hosea! He’s a true artist.”

And with that, he led the way across the road and into Lemoyne National Bank. 

You pulled your mask up over your face, hands still slightly shaking. Javier whispered something before slipping around the corner to guard the side door, and on his signal Dutch burst through the bank doors, pistols drawn. 

“Ladies and gentlemen! This is a hold up.”

The room was filled with screams and the bustling of shoes on the tile as you aimed your gun at the innocent folks going about their day, corralling them back into an office to be locked up and unable to disrupt the robbery in progress. Bill was stuck with a particularly loud customer, so you poked the end of your gun into his back to shut him up, shoving him into the room. You got a grunt of thanks from Bill as he locked the doors. 

“Arthur! We have found the manager. Would you kindly have him open the vault?” 

A man dressed in a long purple coat shook like a leaf as he twisted and turned the dial to find the correct combination. He looked around the room for any willing pair of eyes but no one was able to help, simply sneered as he pleaded silently with Arthur’s gun only inches away from his face. 

The air was tense around you as John and the others patrolled the entryway. All of them were on the lookout for anything suspicious outside, any sign that this wasn’t going to work. But it had to. It simply had to; this was much too large of a show to go off with a hitch. 

A loud scraping sound resonated as the vault door creaked open with the poor bank manager pulling as hard as he could. Arthur cast you a look before heading in, his brow filled with worry to get this over with as soon as possible. You sent him a small smile, hoping he could read it under your bandana, and nodded for him to go on. 

Anxiety pumped through you. The bank manager stood outside and at Bill’s command called out the combination, his legs shaking from the stress. The seconds ticking away felt like hours and you wanted nothing more than to run away from all of this mess. 

“We got trouble! Looks like the law.”

Your head whipped around at John’s yell. His voice was tense and Dutch ran over to get a good look at the situation with anger and fear in his eyes. The others were quickly behind him. 

Everyone knew this operation had to be executed precisely. Anything short of perfection would mean failure and a real risk of death. With Hosea’s attention to detail and the way everyone knew their part Dutch had been confident this would go off without any problems. He already felt the warm, island air rustling through his hair, the grainy, hot sand beneath his feet, and the sweet, sticky mango juice bursting in his mouth. This was going to work. This had to work. Because if it didn’t, there was no way out. 

Unfortunately Dutch didn’t count on your father. 

“Come out! It’s over!” 

No, no, no, no. Not him, not now. Your heart pounded in your chest so hard you were sure the others heard it, and at the same time your stomach dropped down to your feet. How on Earth had he found you?

John said something about Abigail but a rushing sound filled your ears and you couldn’t make it out. Everyone had pressed themselves up against the wall in cover and you did the same, hoping you would be able to act when it came down to it. 

“Dutch! Get out here. Get out here now!”

A silence fell over the bank. Agent Milton walked out from behind a wagon across the street brandishing a pistol that was shoved into the back of Hosea’s head. Dutch let out a groan. 

“Someone must have squealed!” 

“We never should have gone after Bronte, Dutch,” John spat. His eyes were on the mother of his child just beyond his reach. 

“Mr. Milton?” Dutch’s voice lost its usual silk and instead was filled with fear, cracking slightly. “Let my friend go. Or folks are gonna get shot unnecessarily.”

“Your friend? Why would I do that?” Your father’s voice was loud and full of confidence. It sent slivers of fear through your spine as your mind raced. 

“C’mon, Milton!”

“It’s over! No more bargains, no more deals.”

“Mr. Milton, this is America. You can always cut a deal.” 

He was reaching his finale. Your father always loved making a show of capturing ‘the bad guys’ and you knew from his stance that you were running low on time. If someone didn’t do something Hosea would be dead, the rest of you following shortly. 

“Hey girly, remember way back when you and I made a deal?” Micah was standing much too close to your back for comfort and in your agitated state you tried to shake him off. This only made him mad and he grabbed your arm tightly in his grip. “You owe me, I’m cashing in. Only one way this thing and it’s with you outside of those doors while we escape.”

“What?” you asked, your mind racing and unable to comprehend his request.

“Daddy Dearest is out there about to blow us all to hell. We need a distraction and you are the golden ticket.”

You froze. Micah was asking, no, telling you to sacrifice yourself on the slim chance your father wouldn't kill you on sight. It was insanely risky, but it would give the gang and the people you had grown to love a chance, albeit slim, to get away safely. All around you were the tense faces of people who had time and time again proven they were good and loving, more than you could ever say for your own father who stood on the other side of the street with the power of the law behind him. In a way, you felt this had always been coming. Rushing towards you like a train in the night. Eventually it would have to reach its destination. Your hands shook as you realized that this might be the only plan, and you couldn’t risk the chance of your newfound family dying because you weren’t brave enough. Your father wouldn't listen to anyone else and as the seconds melted away you steeled yourself against the tide that would surely try and knock you over. 

“Well?” Micah shook you impatiently. 

You looked around. Dutch, Bill, Lenny, John, Javier...Arthur. These were people you would gladly sacrifice yourself for. Memories came flooding back of sitting around the campfire singing, hours spent in the fields hunting, and the times you and Abigail laughed yourselves silly. Your eyes watered at the thought of leaving, but it had to be done. 

“I’ll do it,” you spoke quietly. “But I have one request.”

“And what’s that?” 

Micah had started making his way to the door and Arthur, noticing you moving about, was heading towards you too. You met his eyes for a moment and you swore he knew what you were about to do. His footsteps picked up and you had to act. 

Leaving him was of course the hardest. Never had you imagined a love so brilliant and bright, and knowing that you were willingly throwing it all away tore you apart. The ring on your finger felt heavy with guilt but you clutched your gun tighter until Micah tore it from your hands. Arthur opened his mouth to whisper something and you knew waiting would make it worse. 

“Tell Arthur I love him.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Micah snorted and unceremoniously shoved you outside the giant bank doors before slamming them shut. Something on the other side slammed against them and you guessed it was Arthur, livid at the unexplained sight. A voice yelled something and then everything went quiet, and you looked up at the scene before you. 

Hosea stood in the middle of the street covered in dust and watching you with worried eyes. He shook his head slightly, telling you to leave, but you cast him a watery smile of reassurance. 

Behind him every gun held by the Pinkerton Detective agents was trained on you and ready to fire. You looked up and down the line realizing just how many there were. This had to be a set up, no one was ready that fast. 

A strangled cry that turned into a laugh came from the head Detective. He took a faltering step forward, then looked at you with utter bewilderment. 

“Put your guns down,” he said. The detectives looked over at him confused. “I said put them down!”

“Sir?” questioned one of the men to his side. 

“Because…” Agent Milton spoke slowly, still trying to process the change in events unfolding before him. 

You placed both hands up in the air and spoke with much more confidence than you felt. 

“Because I’m his daughter.” You looked directly at him, taking a deep breath before saying, “Hello, Father. Good to see you.”

[artsyhamsterdraws]

My first Artist alley experience

So I did it. I survived! Can I get a wahoo yeehaw boiiiiii

*cough*

Anyway I wanted to write a "lil" thing about it all, like how it went, what I learned and shit like that. So here we go~

The convention I've been going to for a while now (3 times if you count this one) is called Närcon summer, and it's a "bit of everything" convention in Linköping (sweden) that happens every summer, but they also have one in the winter and fall as well, tho I've never been to those. (I want to try and get to Närcon Winter this time if it's possible).

It's pretty big. Apparently this year they got about 12.500 visitors over the weekend, so I got to meet a lot of people!

So, how was it?

Well if I wanna be short and straight to the point, it was amazing. I had so much fun and I can't wait to return!

Long answer? Well this one will go through the whole experience from start to finish. So buckle up kiddos this might get boring.

So for me it started even before the convention opened it's gates. During it I had decided to try and sell sketchbook commissions for 50 sek (like 5 bucks), because (1): It meant I would have something to do and wouldn't just have to sit at my table and stare off into space, and (2): Seemed fun.

I then decided to try and start selling them before the convention started, so that some people could come and pick them up day 1 if they wanted to. This worked, way better than expected. In the end I had 5 drawings to make before I even got there.

Here also comes the first thing I learned!

If you sell it for cheap, some people will tip you once they see the final result!

Not everyone paid extra, but I had a couple do it and that seriously almost brought tears to my eyes :')

I had reasons for selling them for so little, but I know that it was way too cheap considering the amount of time I put into each of those drawings. I just felt that; since basically no one knows who I am and this is my first time having a table, this would be a good way to get my name and work out there.

I mean, it did work since I sold 13 of them in total? Over 3 days? (I've never drawn that many things in such a short amount of time ever before).

At first I thought I wouldn't be able to sell more commissions once I got there since I already had 5 of them to do (3 of which I managed to finish before I got there). But apparently I can be fast if I need to? Suddenly they were all just...done and I opened up the commissions again!

Here are a couple of them that I remembered to take pics of:

It was a mix of fanart, original things and OC´s! Some of them I actually wanna make digital versions of cause I think they would look cool...

Once I got there I had to face one of my fears...my neighbors...  I had no idea what so ever who I would be seated with so I was afraid these upcoming 3 days would be filled with awkward silence and avoiding eyecontact. BUT! And that's a huge but (hehe)! They were great. Literally first second I met them I was like "yeah this is going to be fine".

We had so much fun, and once it got late we would sing Abba songs, and today I feel sorry for the people that had to listen to us... :P

I hope to meet them again next närcon, but the gods probably won't put us as neighbors again. They're probable mad at us for the Abba thing...

Oh and, they're both very talented and y'all should check them out! Here are their instagrams!

Literalpleb Apeachiations

Both had a bunch of fire emblem stuff, and apeachiations had some real pretty steven universe prints I wish I could buy but I don't watch steven universe so :(

Oh and I was given amazing gifts from them!

Then I bought these 2 key..chains...rings...I can't remember the english word....

Anyway I saw the Kirby one and knew I had to get it, and then I was talked into gettin the other one (I love it and wanted it don't get me wrong. It's a joke). I have yet to play the new fire emblem because my pre-order is back home and I'm at my parents place for another couple of weeks so :(

(I bought stuff from other people as well but I'll show that at the end!)

------

Setting up the table was fun! I decided to bring my bookmarks and a couple of prints, + like 8 stickers of my hamster logo. I gave 2 of them away tho to my neighbors .

Oh and I put one of my cosplay rifles on the table as well because I decided it would be too much work carrying 2 around. x'D

It started out slow. Most people just stopped by and looked and then moved on. I sold maybe 1 print and 2 bookmarks the first day? I didn't expect much anyway since it was my first time there. Honestly I'm surprised one of my prints even got sold ^^' So I wasn't that put down by the first day...

But then it was Friday, the second day, and things started picking up! I sold out one of my prints! Someone even decided to buy that damn rifle I randomly threw on there, which was amazing. I still can't believe it?

Friday was also the day my friend and I decided to do our cosplay. I missed a couple of hours in the alley because of that, since we had to get back to the hotel and change and all. Tho we did it during the evening so that it would get colder outside and we wouldn't miss THAT much time.

The alley closed around 10pm so we left around 3 to change, got back at 7 and spent those last hours there. Once it closed we also stayed way later at the convention, just walking around and actually looking at things!

Ok back to artist alley!

------

The last day I entered the building, and then only went outside once to buy a drink. Other than that I literally sat there a whole day. 10-10. (Don't worry I had a friend with me that came and went with drinks/snacks).

This day was by far the busiest! I had figured out already that most people wait until the last day before they buy a lot, which makes sense since you want to scope out the whole place before deciding on anything. Saturday (the last day) was also probably one of the days most one-day goers chose? I don't have evidence but that's the day I would choose if I only went 1 day at least...

I decided I would have sales on the last day. For example you got a discount if you bought a whole set of bookmarks. The commissions stayed the same price tho since it was already so cheap. ^^'

In the end I sold 45 bookmarks, the rifle, all my stickers, 13 commissions and all prints except for the 2 with the woman laying in flowers :/ My poor Selma (oc). Might put those on my etsy? I still have bookmarks there btw! Even though I sold a lot those did not sell out. xD

-------

Now, the last day was also the day I bought stuff from others. I decided not to buy anything from the big shops in the other building, and only spent my money on food and artist alley stuff!  Gotta support em fellow artists ya know!

I already listed the things I bought from my neighbors, but I went outside of our little hidden away corner too (I did not pay extra for like a good seat heh...).

I had table 74 (in the upper right corner)...so yeah we were very hidden. Considering the bad spot my table did very well!

Anyway, Here's the cool shit I bought!

The artists' Instagrams:

Linn Standal (Cinnapai)

Emma Lupine

Linda Lithén

I also picked up a bunch of business cards from people I couldn't buy from this time...

-----

So then. What did I learn for next time? Weeeeell...let's make a list I guess!

If you sell commissions for cheap, some people will tip you once they see the final result! (These people are very kind)

The first day is slow. Don't panic!

You always need to bring more business cards than you think. I thought I had enough but nope, they were gone halfway past the second day :/

Next time I'll bring more prints. (Only brought 2 of each, except for the spirited away one. Of that I had 4)

People make cute sounds when they see something they like :'D

Hhhh people are so kind!

Take pictures of your damn commissions!

Bring more drawing paper. (I had to buy a new sketchbook the last day cause I had like...one empty page left)

Leave a sketchbook on the table for people to look through

You're not as bad as you think you are.

People are very kind

Put the commission sign in the middle where it's easy to see it. A lot of people didn't see mine before I moved it.

Putting a sign saying "only one left" on an almost sold out item is good.

Keep track of which prints get the most people to stop. Make note of this and order more of them for next time.

Also take notes whenever someone buys something, so you know how much you sold!

Find something you can hang your prints on so you don't have to lay them on the table. There's not as much space as you think there is.

EAT!!! FFS!!!

Write down your instagram on your business card! (I forgot I had one xD)

Aaaand I think that's that?

Like I said, I had an amazing time and I really hope to do something like this again very soon! Hopefully I'll have time and money to get to Närcon winter. I'll at least try and grab myself a table just in case, and sell it if I can't go in the end. I probably won't cosplay there tho and only focus on artist alley. ^^'

Well, how the fck did you read all this? Impressive. I am impressed. Here's a picture of my cat as a price!

Bye!

[lybomb]

​̳𝚓​̳𝚞​̳𝚜​̳𝚝​̳ ​̳𝚕​̳𝚒​̳𝚔​̳𝚎​̳ ​̳𝚒​̳ ​̳𝚛​̳𝚎​̳𝚖​̳𝚎​̳𝚖​̳𝚋​̳𝚎​̳𝚛​̳𝚎​̳𝚍​̳

𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 𝟏.𝟓𝐤

 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞??? 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐲𝐦. 🤤 @semonasajjad

ⁿ/ᵃ: ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉˡᵃʸ ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᶦᵗ! ᴵ ᵃˡˢᵒ ᵗʳᶦᵉᵈ ᵖᵒˢᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵃ ᵍᶦᶠ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵒʳᵏ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵛᶦᵈᵉᵒ ᵇᵘᵗ ᶦᵗ ᵈᶦᵈⁿ’ᵗ ʷᵒʳᵏ :( ˢᵒ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᴶᵃᵉʰʸᵘⁿ ᵗᵘᵐᵐʸ! (ᵇᵗʷ ᴵ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿⁿʸ ᵛᵉʳˢᶦᵒⁿ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵃ ˡᶦᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵇᶦᵗ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ˡᵒˡ)

New year, new you. Last year kicked your ass- a break up, losing friends, stress up the wahoo. Because of all the things you’ve dealt with, you’ve gained a little weight. Nothing that you’re unhappy about, you just want to make sure you’re the healthiest you can be. You decided to get a gym membership, finding a gym that was open late at night because your job took up most of your time. Your first day was the scariest, meeting your personal trainer for the first time. Going up to the front desk, asking for someone named ‘Jaehyun’, who would be your trainer.

“Hey, I’m Jaehyun.” A man with brown hair and matching brown eyes comes up to you, sticking out his big hand for a handshake, giving you a million dollar smile. The second your eyes lay on him, you know you’re in deep shit. Your eyes widen and blood runs cold as you recognize who he is. He’s your rebound sex, the guy you fucked after your boyfriend broke up with you. He says your name once he sees your reaction.

“Yeah… it’s me.” You chuckle awkwardly. He chuckles too, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d see you again.” You nod, biting your lip.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so either.” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think of him a lot. Pretty much every time you masturabted, you remember the time he pounded you into your mattress, leaving so many hickies all over your body, making you sore for the next week. He was the best sex you’ve had in your entire life. Even though it was only once, you always wished to see him again to be fucked by him again.

“So, I know this is kinda awkward, but we don’t have to make it like that. I’ll be as normal as possible and help you work out as long as you’re good with that.” You sigh in relief, so happy that he’s being mature about this.

“Yeah, I’d really like that. What should we start with?” You smile at him.

“Great. You can put your things in the women’s locker room and you can meet me by the rowing machine.” Nodding, you go and put your stuff in an empty locker. “Ready?” He asks after you return to him.

“Yeah, what’s next?”

“Stretching! You don’t want to hurt yourself while working out so it’s always important to start off every session with stretching.” Jaehyun was actually really respectful during your session. His hands never wandered and he always made sure you were being safe with the equipment. Since you had such a late session schedule, it was actually closing time by the time you were halfway done.

“Hey, Jae?” The girl from the front desk calls out. Jae? You wished you could call him that.

“Yeah, I know! We’re not done so I can lock up.” He calls to her.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you over.” You bite your lip, feeling horrible if they have to stay later just because of you.

“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s no problem, really.” He smiles at you. Your heart flutters as he asks the girl to do the closing tasks, promising her to make up for it. You continue your session as she quickly finishes everything.

“See you tomorrow!” She calls out to Jaehyun, which he doesn’t say anything back because he’s watching you use the calf machine, making sure you don’t get hurt. Sweat is pouring from every inch of your body, kind of hard to catch your breath. It’s been a while since you’ve worked out this hard and Jaehyun was not letting up.

“Can you do twenty jumping jacks? You’re doing such a good job. We’re almost done.” Without hesitation, you do the jumping jacks, hating every second of it. Once you get to twenty, you feel all the energy leave your body.

“Are we done?” You ask. He laughs, the sweet sound ringing in your ears.

“Yes, you made it!” He holds both his hands out, which you clap them with your own, grabbing onto his hands. “You did a really good job today. I’m proud of you.” He smiles at you. You don’t know what came over you, but you lean in and kiss him. You pull away shocked.

“S-Sorry, I’m so sweaty so that was probably gross-”

“It’s okay. I really wanted that.” Hands still entwined, he rubs his thumb across your skin. “I’ve been thinking about you. I just can’t forget you.” You bite your lip.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, too.” You admit. He smiles softly.

“You should go shower.” He bites his lip as he smiles. You nod, heading to the locker room, but not without Jaehyun landing a smack to your ass. You turn back to him, mouth open in shock. “Sorry, I just had to.” He smiles.

“I better see you in there with me in five minutes.” You wink, turning back around, swaying your hips even more than usual.

“Fuck,” You hear him mumble under his breath. In the locker room, you turn on the water of the shower, letting it get hot. You peel off your wet clothes, stripping down to nothing. “You’re beautiful.” Jaehyun tells you after he enters the locker room. You turn to him and blush. Even in the sweaty and gross state you’re in, he still finds you attractive. He comes up to you, caressing your cheek. You pull his t-shirt off, eyes wondering all over his ripped torso. You missed the sight of him. His lips capture yours as his hands snake around your body, holding you close. He’s not letting you get away this time.

“I think the water’s ready.” You mumble between kisses. He gives you one final kiss before he opens the curtain for you. You step in and watch him take off his shorts and boxers, boner popping out. Your pussy screams for him to be in you again, wanting to be pounded mercilessly. You step into the stream of water, letting it wash the grime off of you. Jaehyun watches you, smirk plastered on his face. You pull him closer to you by the arm, kissing him again. He pins you against the cold tiles, making you get closer to him. His tongue enters your mouth as he grabs your thigh, lifting you up. Your arms wrap around his neck, it now wet because of the water. Your legs wrap around his torso, his boner poking your thigh.

“I can’t wait to make you scream my name again.” He mumbles in your ear as he places delicate kisses on your neck. You pull on the ends of his hair as a soft moan comes from your lips. He bites down on the soft flesh, leaving a bruise.

“Fuck, Jaehyun, I need you.” You whine. He looks you in the eyes, kissing you once more before he lines himself up with your entrance.

“You ready?” He asks. You nod, a whine coming from your throat. You gasp as his big dick stretches you out, the familiar burn making you even more wet. “Just like I remembered.” He grunts as he starts thrusting into you. You grab onto his shoulders tighter, noises escaping you. Holding tightly onto your thighs, he pounds into you, dick hitting deep into you. You bury your face into his neck, sucking red marks on his skin. His moans fill your ears, making your pussy throb even more. Water is running down his back, making your bodies slippery. Your body is bouncing up and down from each hard thrust, his cock fitting into you perfectly. You keep leaving hickies on his neck and moaning in his ear, which makes him pound into you harder. He’s going as fast as he can, his hips slapping into yours. You’ll feel more sore from this than the workout itself.

“Fuck, Jae!” You yell out as he bites down on your breast, making sure he marks you as his. He continues to suck on your tits, enjoying how your moans turned into screams because of him. You feel the knot in your gut get bigger as you get closer to your orgasm. “Jae, I-I’m-”

“Cum for me, baby. Scream my name so everyone knows who’s fucking you senseless.” He watches your face intently as your climax racks your body.

“Jaehyun!” You scream at the top of your lungs, vision going white. Your toes curl as you arch your back, mouth gaping. You hold on for the ride while he thrusts into you harder. Screams still come as you hurt from the sensitivity. You feel his dick twitch and he cums in you, filling you all up. His cum flows down your thighs, mixing with your juices. He gives you a sweet kiss before setting you down gently.

“That’s not going to be the last time we do this.” He says, kissing you again.

“Agreed.” You smile into the kiss. The next week, you smirk as you meet him, his hickey on full view. You may have gone over to his house a couple of times after your first session, spending more time with him. You know he tried covering it with makeup but it just came off with sweat.

“Hello, darling.” He smiles at you.

“Concealer didn’t really work, huh?” You chuckle. He rolls his eyes.

“You’re going to have to do extra squats today for doing this.”  

[missblanchette]

Hippocratic Oath [3/4]

Series: Hypnosis Mic

Characters: Jinguji Jakurai/Kannonzaka Doppo; Hifumi is Best Wingman

Rating: PG for language

Summary: The fact of the matter was that a relationship between a doctor and a patient was unethical. Sooner or later, one of them had to speak up about it. (Or: Jakurai and Doppo work out their Feelings™.)

Words: 3020

Notes: Communication is had and baby steps are made between our boys, wahoo

ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | You can read this on AO3! Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy! (*＾▽＾)／

Ch 3: Salary-man’s Session

Doppo was never big on SNS or anything of that sort, but the amount of staring at the screen he'd done this past week was enough to make up for his entire lifetime. In fact, his manager had called him out in front of everyone for slacking off, complaining that "these damn youngin's never take their eyes off their cell phones" (never mind that Doppo had been working through his lunch break). Regardless of how he wanted to die on the spot, he was still alive and stuck in a constant cycle of opening his email or the other apps he had Jakurai on, typing a message, and deleting it; open, type, delete; open, type, delete.

Groaning, Doppo tossed his phone to the side. His laptop laid on the coffee table with his sales reports unfinished and some variety show playing on the TV droned on and on. At least in the office, his boss and coworkers kept him busy by dumping shit on him. Ironic, that after all he'd complained about his job, all he wanted to do now was work. He didn't even have Hifumi here today since he left earlier for his fishing trip. With Jakurai. Something he only remembered because Hifumi had sent him a selfie of the two of them and their catches.

Burying his face in his hands, Doppo sank as far into the sofa as he could, hoping that it would suck him into the void. It did not.

No matter how much Doppo tried to distract himself, his thoughts would always fall back to Jakurai. But in order to cut off any romantic feelings he'd deluded himself into having, he'd have to stop thinking about him. But telling himself to stop thinking about him lead to thinking about him again. And again. And again. And again.

The front door swung open, giving him a small reprieve.

"Doppo! I'm ho~me!"

"Welcome back," Doppo said, voice muffled from behind his hands.

"Doppo-chin, don't tell me you've been sitting on the couch the whole day," Hifumi chided, accompanied by the rustling of his fishing gear.

"Not like I have anything better to do."

"You could've gone fishing with me and Dr. Jakurai!"

Doppo choked on his saliva. "D-Don't be stupid. I don't know how to fish."

"Eh, but didn't you say you wanted to go before?"

"That -- That was before. I changed my mind."

"Aw, don't be like that, Doppo-chin. You could always learn! Y'know, Doc wasn't all that great at first but now he's totes a pro." The zippers on Hifumi's backpack clinked to the beat of his footsteps, the tune ending as he plopped next to him on the couch. Pulling Doppo's hands off his face, Hifumi held onto them. "He could, like, teach you."

Squirming in his grasp, Doppo looked to the floor. "He's got other stuff to do."

"Nah, I think he'd be really happy to show you."

"Drop it," Doppo hissed between his teeth.

"Doppo-chin~" Hifumi drew his name out with a whine. "You really need to be more honest with your feelings."

Doppo squinted at him. "Huh?"

"Why didn't you tell me you and Dr. Jakurai were a thing?"

"What?!" Blood running cold, Doppo's breath caught stuck in his throat. Hifumi grinned, a glint in his eyes. "Where did you -- I never -- Dr. Jinguji, he -- We -- W-We are not a thing!"

"Doc told me what happened and you like him, too, don't you? That makes you guys a thing!"

"I do not like him!"

"Then why are you so upset?"

Doppo gnashed his teeth together, the thoughts he'd been running from rushing back like a tsunami. He tried to tear his grip from Hifumi, but he'd always been the stronger of them.

"I shouldn't like him," Doppo said, barely above a whisper.

"You have every right to like him."

"He's my doctor."

"I mean, isn't there like a kink for that?"

"Oh my God, Hifumi --"

"Well, if you're not into that, find another doctor!"

Recalling Jakurai's confession, Doppo bit his lip. That'd been the exact proposition Jakurai had used to breach the matter. While it sounded like a simple solution, it couldn't be that easy to solve a complex aspect of their relationship. Things were never that simple, Doppo told himself; simple things merely hid bigger problems. Doppo tasted iron on his tongue.

"He's our leader."

"Yeah, and?" Hifumi said, wiping the blood from his lips. "Wouldn't that be cute, two members of the same group dating?! Hey, that'd boost Matenrou's popularity, wouldn't it?"

Or rip them to shreds, Doppo thought, remembering how crazy the women of Chuuoku had been. He shivered as he put that memory away. It'd be better to play it safe rather than act upon his false feelings. No need to worry about upsetting anyone that way, no need to stress about getting into trouble.

"He's... I..."

Ear turned towards him as if his excuses couldn't reach him, Hifumi leaned in. Doppo heaved a sigh, his nostrils flaring as he shut his eyes.

"I'm... I'm not good enough for him!"

A small gasp. Hifumi squeezed his hands and tugged him closer.

"Doppo-chin, that's not true --"

"It is!" Gathering the strength to shove Hifumi off, Doppo backed off to the far side of the sofa and brought his knees to his chest. "I'm fucking desperate, I only like him because he's nice to me. I have nothing to offer him besides my goddamn rap skills and even then those are crap at best. It won't be long until he realizes just how shitty I am and hates me, so why bother?!"  

Doppo panted as soon as he finished speaking, all the words spilling out quickly like a rap -- the battle between his heart and his mind, the stage his own self. He'd found solace in Jakurai, but good things rarely lasted. As much as he wanted to be with Jakurai, as much as he wanted to be by Jakurai's side, he'd have to stop anything from happening before what they had could be ruined.

A few seconds passed and Hifumi crawled over to join him, but not too closely. He placed a hand on his shoulder, which Doppo didn't swat away.

"Doppo, Doc cares a lot about you."

"He's a doctor, he's supposed to care for everyone."

"Okay, yeah, but. He's like completely head over heels for you."

Doppo gave him a look.

"He's always telling me to invite you on our fishing trips --"

"He's just being nice."

"-- and he's always asking about you. Y'know, today he kept zoning out because he was thinking about you~"

"I --" Doppo sputtered, the tips of his ears growing warm. "T-That can't be true."

"Oh, but it is~ He told me he lo~ves you and that he doesn't know what to do about it. Can you believe that? Dr. Jakurai not knowing what to do? You've swept him off his feet, Doppo-chin!"

Doppo hid his face behind his knees. "You don't have to say it like that..."

"Yes, I do, because it's true~" Hifumi said as he wrapped an arm around him, rocking the both of them side-to-side. "So, y'see, he likes you just like you like him. And if you both like each other, there's nothing wrong with giving it a shot! No 'but's or 'what if's!" The swaying motion stopped. Then, softly: "It's what you deserve, Doppo-chin."

Letting Hifumi's words sink in, Doppo swallowed hard. It’d been a week, six days to be precise, but he still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Jakurai had actual feelings for him. That being the case, he couldn't accept more than what he was worth --  especially if it meant he'd be dragging down the one whom he cherished; pathetic he may be, but he refused to taint Jakurai as well. Yet, hearing all of Hifumi's counterpoints aloud made him stop and reconsider.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to pursue a relationship. Maybe things wouldn't crumble at his touch. Maybe he and Jakurai could work out. All these "maybe"s but not one definite outcome. Reconciling his heart and his mind was certainly a long way to go.

Doppo inhaled sharply.

"I'm going out," he said as he pulled himself out of Hifumi's hold.

"What? Why?"

"I need a drink." He stepped over Hifumi's fishing rod and rushed to the door.

"There's beer in the fridge."

His shoes were already on. "Fresh air, then."

"Doppo!" Hifumi hung over the couch, throwing something that hit him square in the chest. Yelping, he barely caught it before it dropped to the floor. His cell phone. "Don't stay out too late, okay? Come back safe, because I'm gonna make a super yummy dinner!"

Glancing at his phone then to Hifumi, Doppo nodded. "Sure."

And he was off.

As busy as the streets of Shinjuku were, nobody would bother him and that was exactly how Doppo liked it. He was free to wander as he pleased, listlessly and languidly, letting his feet guide him about the city. By the time he came back to his senses, the sun had dipped behind the skyscrapers and the pack of people had waned down. A quick look at his phone told him he'd been out for about an hour and Hifumi had sent him a message, but it remained unread once he realized where he was.

Shinjuku Central Hospital -- a familiar sight but the last thing he wanted to see. Leaning against the wall, Doppo huffed both out of frustration and exhaustion. He'd blame habit, but he always took the train to get here. Go figure that he'd end up at the one place he associated with Jakurai.

There was nothing for him at the hospital tonight, though, save for a reminder of his current predicament. Still, Doppo couldn’t bring himself to leave. This was very place where he'd met Jakurai so many months ago out of pure chance, the very place where Jakurai had invited him to share all his issues and worries with him, the very place where he'd grown to respect and admire Jakurai.

Absentmindedly, Doppo began hitting his head against the wall. Not enough to seriously injure himself, but enough to create a steady, rhythmic pounding against his thoughts. Every time he began to think that pursuing his desires was okay, the voices in the back of his mind grew louder and louder -- screaming at him, yelling at him, shaming him for what he wanted. Both his heart and his mind fought each other with such intensity that he wondered if it'd be easier to drop dead.

"Doppo-kun?"

His stomach dropped at the sound of that familiar, low voice. Doppo whipped around at breakneck speed, the very man he'd been dreading and hoping to see looking at him with a concerned expression.

"D-Dr. Jinguji?! What are you doing here?" Just as the question left his mouth, Doppo slapped his already numb forehead. "I mean, it being your day off and all..."

"I was called in for an emergency, but I believe I should be asking you the same thing. Oh, your mouth --" Belatedly did Doppo remember he'd bitten his lip to the point of bleeding earlier. Jakurai's fingertips hovered above his lips, and Doppo braced himself for the touch that never came. "Are you all right?" Jakurai asked, pulling his hand away after a moment's hesitation. Doppo's shoulders sagged.

"I'm fine, don't worry. I was... er, I was taking a walk."

"You live quite a ways from here," Jakurai said, amusement in his tone.

"I needed a long walk." A pause. "A really long walk."

"I see. Would you like a drive home?"

"No, you don't have to, I'll --" Doppo patted his pockets, only to realize he'd left his Suica card at home. Dammit. "-- I'll walk back. I need the exercise anyways."

"It’s good to be active, but it’ll get dark soon. I don't mind taking you."

"It's okay, Doctor, sorry for taking up your time. Um, bye."

Without waiting for a response, Doppo hurried along. He came to a standstill, however, as he reached the end of the block and Hifumi's words rang throughout his mind once more. While he'd been avoiding his dilemma, thinking it'd go away eventually, perhaps he needed to take a direct approach instead. Turning, he saw Jakurai standing where he left him.

Technically, Jakurai was still his doctor. Surely one more round of consultation wouldn't hurt. Sheepishly, Doppo jogged back.

"Actually, Dr. Jinguji, can I talk to you about something? As a patient, I mean."

Jakurai raised an eyebrow, but that gave way to the warm smile and gentle gaze that Doppo adored.

"Of course, Doppo-kun. What seems to be the problem?"

An orthodox session for an intricate matter. He'd never had an appointment take place outside of Jakurai's office, or outside the hospital on that fact, nor had one while in his pajamas. Likewise, Jakurai wore a down vest rather than his lab coat and the evening breeze blew his lavender locks all over his face. Despite it all, hearing Jakurai follow their usual dialogue calmed his nerves.

"Well, it's not about me per se, it's about a friend. Not Hifumi." No doubt Jakurai could see right through him, but he made no comment on it.

"What about your friend?" he asked, resting his left hand against his face in its usual pose.

"He's going through a bit of a crisis with this guy.” An understatement, really, but he continued on. "It's not actually a problem with the guy, it's more with himself. You see, this guy told him he had feelings for him, but I -- my friend isn't sure what to do because he thinks he doesn't deserve this guy. He... my friend feels like he only likes this guy because this guy's helped him so much."

Compared to all the shitty things in his life, Doppo could only count the good things on a single hand and Jakurai was definitely one of them. Medical treatment, an outlet, an opportunity to change the world -- to change himself; Jakurai had given him all that and more. As bleak as life had been before, Jakurai helped him see that someone like him was capable of doing something worthwhile. Even if he sacrificed everything, gave all that he could to him, nothing could possibly equal what Jakurai had done for him. He yearned, nevertheless, for his affection, for his tenderness. Would it really be so wrong to allow himself this one grace in his miserable existence?

"It's not that he doesn't like this guy, he just thinks that he won't be able to make him happy. He doesn't want this guy to make a mistake by being with him. I... guess I would like to hear what you have to say? Because I've been stressed out trying to help him through it."

Jakurai's eyelids fluttered closed as he let out a hum, drowning out the distant cars racing down the streets. The sun had set as Doppo had been talking, the street lamps that lined the block becoming the stars that filled the night sky. As if the heavens itself, their light framed Jakurai in an ethereal blue and he stood before him like an angel. Never had Doppo felt so at peace while waiting.  

"Your friend sounds hard on himself, no?" Jakurai spoke up.

"Haha, yeah..."

"But I understand where he's coming from, it's a difficult position to be in. Nonetheless, I think his worries are simply that: worries. Does this man make him happy?"

Doppo nodded a little too enthusiastically. "Very much, but he's scared he'll mess everything up."

"Relationships are quite daunting, aren't they? But relationships require those involved to trust each other, after all. If this man and your friend share mutual feelings, they will be able to work things out no matter how much he doubts himself."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yes," Jakurai said, not missing a beat. His eyes met Doppo's. "Love can be scary -- terrifying, even -- but that fear is something you can overcome if you're both willing to try."

Somehow, they'd ended up mere centimeters away from each other, but neither of them made the move to close the gap between them. The clamor of the city and the dissonance within Doppo's self became but an afterthought as Jakurai's azure gaze bore into his -- an azure that enveloped him in a sea of serenity and warmth. Closer and closer, his fingers inched towards Jakurai's hand and it was only when he felt his phone buzzing that Doppo remembered himself.

"I'll tell my friend that," Doppo said, ducking down and scratching his head. Hastily, he checked his phone to see that Hifumi had sent him another text. He ignored it. "Thank you for the advice, Dr. Jinguji, you always know what to say."

Coughing into his hand, Jakurai stood back with what Doppo could've sworn was pink dusting his cheeks. "It's no problem, Doppo-kun, I'm happy to help whenever possible. I hope your friend is able to work something out."

"Me, too..." He trailed off, unsure of where to go from there. A part of him wanted to stay with Jakurai for the rest of the night; the other part could only handle so much excitement for one day. "I... guess I should get going now. I think Hifumi might be getting worried," he said, pointing at his phone.

"Ah, I suppose it’s getting late. Are you sure you don't want a ride back?"

"Thanks for offering, but yes, I'm sure."

Taking a small step towards him, Jakurai opened his mouth but no words came out. Then, he shook his head, a smile adorning his face.

"Very well. Let me know once you've gotten home?"

"I will," Doppo said, bidding him good night with a wave.

Slowly, carefully, Doppo forced himself away from Jakurai, but he did so with a lighter heart and a clearer mind. For once, his chest thumped with exhilaration rather than rattled in trepidation.

[godsjudge]

Week one and done!

Wow! What a week. My first full week focused on my weight and what I eat and drink every single day. it wasn’t that difficult, though I had some up and downs… well some blue moments. I really wanted cookies at night and a soda in the afternoons. I had a few stomach issues but I was able to deal with those with hot tea, ACV and water and just drinking more water. I am unsure if it’s the diagnoses of irritable bowel syndrome or acid reflux, allergy to tomatoes or Lack of digestive enzymes… with with all my food and intestinal issues, I know I’m headed in the right direction and doing BETTER

I must confess, I looked at my bottle of water heater and didn’t drink it. I’m not sure what that is about. Almost like a self-sabotage situation. It was good water, easily accessible to me- on my desk where I sat all day! I grabbed the coffee, I bought more coffee, I drank two smoothies, and bomb… no water!

Yesterday morning breakfast was French toast sticks. Taste good, but it’s all bread and sugar so I only ate three of them. Listen I was so hungry come 8/9 am. I made my instant grits, grabbed a cup of hot coffee and stayed away from the junk food. Great breakfast. I noticed I need more acceptable choices at work, so I’ll be grocery shopping this weekend.

For lunch, I had the beautify chef Hanna, my daughter put together some sweet potato soup, and a green apple. I read her lunch note to me and grabbed some smoothies instead. I love the soup and will eat it another day, but the smoothies were necessary because I’m a few days behind on my goal- 10-day smoothie cleanse.

While I recognize the great move to shift into a veggie days and meatless days, I also noticed the shift in weight, size, and mood hadn’t been as drastic as it will be when I’m cleansing on the smoothies. So I plan to start that today, 1/8/22 and no later than 1/10/22.

I was reminded that on 1/10 we did a 40 day and night fast, years ago. We prayed together every night at 9pm and boy was that a journey!

I feel like that now… that I’m entering into the time of a God ordained fast. I wonder if it will be for the nations or me and my family. I know if it’s 40 days, it will be God and God alone.

So I had wahoo fish tacos last night. They were tasty but as I ate them I saw the culprit, my former best friend and community ally- CHEESE!!!! Cheese was on my tacos! I forget to tell the fam NO CHEESE!!! I have a skin reaction to cheese. My face breaks out with dry circular patches, super weird! None of the medical testing say I’m allergic to cheese, but every time my digestive system encounters cheese, my face looks like I have eczema and no access to Vaseline!!!

I drank some kombucha, best stuff ever! And that was it for me! Oh yea, I forget I are popcorn yesterday- only have the bag popped, but it was good to have popcorn and shit down that desire for cookies, chips and candy!

More water next time!!! Chow!

[daisymondays]

Tagging Games

I’m back with more procrastination and talking about myself wahoo!!!

I was tagged by @synonym-for-life (and I am lolling that you think I have an interesting life I am JUST A MESS)

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller 

I wear glasses (when i remember)

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny (its the only thing i have going for me LOL)

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me (depends on who it is)

I enjoy physical challenges (kinda)

I enjoy mental challenges (kinda)

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it (so many bad sayings sooo many bad sayings)

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play instruments

I can do over 30 push-ups without stopping 

I’m a fast runner

I can draw

I have a good memory (im fantastic at remembering stuff about ppl and seeming creepy)

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch 

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports 

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else ( i used to be but bun )

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week (on average)

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

Fandoms are my #1 passion

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol (lol no what is alcohol im not a border line alcohlic)

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event  (well this is vague)

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year (knock on wood cause I haven’t!)

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to several of my favourite bands concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know ( as in he’s rly fit and i’m obsessed )

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them ( as in like i told my boyfriend i loved him?? i’ve never done it first seriously tho )

I get crushes easily ( if ur pretty and have said hi to me i’ll probably fancy you )

I have had a crush on someone for over a year ( tb to year 7 )

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend 

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a best friend

I live close to my school (uni though in my case)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 50 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now (often, but not now)

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail ( i’ve had four teachers be arrested as pedo’s so far, mad ik )

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life (AHAHAHAHAHA LOL)

I speak at least 2 languages

Right I’ll tag @shiftylinguini @aibidil @frnklymrshnkly @tdcatsblog @moderateslytherin @jadepresley @jasmine-tw @queenofthyme @bixgirl1 you might want to do it or you might not, im just proud i managed to think of 9 people to tag

[girlwsoftsound]

Pancakes || Matty Healy Oneshot

Word Count: 2,230 Summary: On a night where the band is drunk and stir crazy from tour, Matty gets a craving for pancakes that leads to more mischief than anyone could have anticipated. Author’s Note: Today needed a little something to smile & laugh at, so here’s this fic <3 Be sure to throw in a like or comment if you liked it! I love seeing feedback from you all. Please feel free to read my other work here! Enjoy!

Touring with the boys, you were bound to experience some pretty wild shit.

It was a given. Putting together four boys who had known each other for nearly fourteen years, their best friend saxophone player, and their lead singer’s girlfriend into a bus for weeks on end was a recipe for chaos. A matter not of ‘if’ but ‘when’ it would occur. You joined with this fully known and accepted. And you were excited for anything that came your way.

‘Anything’ came your way about a week into the tour, when everyone was starting to get a bit stir crazy, but still was excited enough to not channel it into slumming it in the bus in exhaustion. Patron, Gin, and wine sat laid out across every counter surface. One of Drake’s more rap heavy songs was playing loudly from portable speakers, just barely audible over the horrid and comical stylings of the very drunk duo of Matty and George. As they tried and failed to rap, Ross and John sat near the kitchen area and did shots, as many of them as they could do to drive them to the point where the boys were not as annoying as they seemed. Adam sat between them and the drunken idiots, desperately trying to tune his guitar, but laughing at the boys when their voices grew ghastly. You sat nearby Jamie, who was shaking his head the whole time and probably questioning how he became the manager of a group of wild idiots like these, looking like a properly embarrassed parent. On any other night, you would have joined right alongside him in his embarrassment. However, on this one, you were sleep deprived and laying on your couch, with way too much tequila in your belly and your boyfriend now attempting to dance along to Drake’s newest single. How could you not laugh at that?

The giggles continued as Matty and George consumed even more alcohol and became even bigger Drake fans. You nearly laughed until your sides began to hurt as the boys resorted to dancing in each other’s arms as a means to keep the other from losing their shaky balance and falling over. They looked like a proper couple, even more so than you and Matty, and that was hilarious to you in your slightly less drunken state. You nearly began a chant for them to kiss when Matty, after reaching to take a swig from the bottle nearest him and scrunching up his face from the taste, began yelling.

“HEY! HEY, SHUT UP, ‘M TALKING! S-SHUUUSH!”

Matty waited for the world to stop before going on - George shut off the music, Adam set his guitar aside, Ross and John...well, they continued to drink, just more quietly, and Jamie merely looked up from behind the hand that had been shielding his eyes to the ordeal to gaze at his very crazy partner-in-crime. You sat up, legs crossed and eyes as attentive as they could be. Matty giggled to himself, and then began to finally speak.

“I’ve gotta’ ‘nnouncement to share with you.” He grinned at everyone, leaning his hand on George to steady himself. “I’m,” he spoke, pausing to burp to the laughter of John and Ross, “hungry.”

“Fucking hell, that’s what you stopped us for?” George grumbled, moving away so that Matty had to scramble to not fall. “Make some damn noodles or something, don’t...don’t go stopping the party.”

“Ya’ don’t understand,” he pouted, stumbling over to sit by you and curl up like a small child, “I don’t wanna’ make noodles. I...I want to go out and eat.” You pet his hair, offering up comfort in this trying time of his.

“Well here’s the thing Matthew,” Jamie cut in opposite you, earning a small raise of the head from Matty, “we can go out, but it’s nearly three in the morning. The only places that would be open are breakfast places. Unless you’re fine with going to a pancake house, then I think we’re screw-”

“PANCAKES!”

As if Jamie said the magic word, Matty jumped up and out of his pouting spree. Leaving your side, he stumbled over to the bottle of Patreon and, upon grabbing hold of it, held it up as if he were going to make a toast. The rest of the bus looked on, curious as to what else could possibly leave his mouth now. You giggled, reaching up to cover your mouth and disguise it with your hand.

“Well, let’s go get some fucking pancakes now, yeah? YEAH?”

You watched in amusement as the boys all conceded to his wishes, agreeing that pancakes would be pretty good even at three in the morning. Even the more sober Adam enjoyed the thought, nodding along before grabbing his guitar once more. You hardly could complain, either. A big stack of pancakes sounded mouthwatering good. You were not sure that you had eaten a proper home-cooked kind of meal since you left on tour with the boys. Anything, even pancakes, sounded fantastic. Slamming his hand on the counter, Matty turned and faced the direction of their poor driver.

“HEY DRIVER! TO THE PANCAKES!”

The driver, the trooper that he was, gave Matty a thumbs up up front. Matty cheered with a loud ‘WAHOOOO’ before spinning around and telling George to turn the music back up again. His eyes caught on you at this moment, catching you mid-giggle from both the way Jamie looked positively mortified around the driver and the way Matty looked seconds from toppling over. Swaying his hips, he came your way and brought your face into his hands.

“Somethin’ funny to ya?”

“Yeah,” you replied, giggling some more, “you, you dope.”

“Yeah well,” he muttered, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against yours, “you’re a dope. But you’ve got a pretty face. I like that.”

“You using your lyrics to flirt with me, Healy?”

“I’ll use whatever I want when I’m about to kiss a pretty girl like you,” and sure enough, he did just that, leaning in to capture your lips and send your stomach in knots. You both sat there for a bit kissing as the bus changed course to find the nearest pancake place - a Denny’s off the side of the road. When it did, Matty broke off to take you by the hand and drag you out, because he just had to be the first one to get his pancakes. The rest of the band trickled in after you both, Jamie looking already apologetic for the state of them all as he trailed in last. Matty ordered a tall stack of six buttermilk pancakes, while you ordered three. Adam got two and a side of eggs, George got five chocolate chip pancakes, and Ross and John decided to split a stack of four together. Jamie went with one, merely out of desire to facilitate getting them out of the place as fast as they could. It was a lost cause the moment they stepped into the shop drunk, though.

“This is so good,” Matty somehow mumbled through a rather large bite of his pancakes. You giggled as you drank your order of milk, sliding a piece around on your fork through syrup.

“Eating well, babe?”

Matty replied with a grunt back. He was too invested in the deliciousness of his food to form proper sentences, especially when so drunk. Also hard for him to do was eat all of his food without getting distracted. He got through two pancakes before standing up and, without a word, heading to the door. Everyone gave each other a look before you went hustling after him, trying your best not to fall. You caught him just before he exited, grabbing his arm with a huff.

“And where are you going?”

“Shower,” he hummed, swaying a bit. “Gotta’ freshen up.”

“But your pancakes.”

“They box em up, yeah? Have them do that.”

With a sigh, you brought Matty in for a hug. “Fine. Don’t trip goin’ up, yeah?”

Matty smiled, kissing your cheek before pulling back. “Yeah.”

With that, he was off, wobbly but still aiming for the bus. You watched until he made it successfully inside before heading back in and asking the poor waitress still up to serve you all to get a box for his. Thankfully, there was one, which allowed you to stuff the delicious food without letting it go to waste. After it was all packed away nicely, you brought it over to George and Adam’s booth and finished the rest of your stack there. John and Ross happily ate theirs together, giggling to themselves as Ross tried to take a picture of them sharing to post online. Jamie ducked out soon after Matty, probably heading to the bus to make sure his superstar drunk didn’t fall in the shower and make him regret this decision to stop even more. It was all laughs and fluffy pancakes for the next fifteen minutes or so. And then, a panicked Jamie appeared at the door.

“I don’t care who does it, or how fast of a runner they are, but one of you needs to come help me get Matty.”

You shared a glance between George and Adam before turning to Jamie. “What’s wrong, is he okay? Why is he running?”

“He’s-”

“WAHOO!”

That was when you saw him: hair shaggy and wet, his face giddy and drunk, and his body as bare as the day he was born, running around like a maniac outside the bus and nearly toppling over from his laughter and alcohol. George broke into a fit of giggles, while Adam jumped up and ran to Jamie’s aid. Ross and John shared a look before laughing as well. You smirked, shaking your head.

“He’s a goddamn lunatic.”

And that he was. Not even with the addition of Adam was Matty able to be detained. He was so drunk and so silly that he did not wish to be able to be caught, and tapped into some reserve adrenaline of his to be able to do so. You watched him through the window running around with a blush, shaking your head. George by that point fell into full out laughter, clutching his sides.

“Alright you three, here’s what’s gonna’ happen,” you spoke, getting their attention away from your drunk, naked boyfriend behind you. “Ross and John? See if you can box up whatever is left and tip the shit out of the waitress. I’m going to pay for the food. George...make sure you get this shit on video before you go and help them actually wrangle him in, yeah?”

George grinned. “It’d be my pleasure.”

Taking out his phone, George ran off to do just that. As Ross and John followed your instructions, you went and paid for everything, while also ordering a side of tater tots because well...it was three A.M., you still felt a bit drunk, your boyfriend was publically nude running outside a Denny’s, and you wanted some goddamn tater tots. Procuring them, you thanked the waitress kindly for not taking any pictures of your boyfriend and spreading them anywhere, slipped her more money, and then stepped outside to sit on the curb. George was still recording the scene. Jamie and Adam were screaming after Matty as he ran around the bus laughing, his curls bouncing up and down as he did. You pulled out your phone and began recording as well as you ate. George turned his phone to you.

“And how do you feel knowing that you are currently dating that?”

You threw a cheeky grin to the camera. “Lucky as fuck.”

“And why’s that?”

“‘s got a cute bum,” you replied, plain and simple before popping a tot in your mouth. George turned to Matty as if to check your words, nodded, and then turned the camera back to the boy.

“Suppose you’re right.”

For the next ten minutes, you sat watching Matty, so carefree, so drunkenly silly, running around the parking lot dodging Adam and Jamie. Eventually, George stepped in and tackled Matty, his bigger stature actually holding him in as he tried to break free. He carried him to the bus, and when you all collectively filed back in with boxes and a now half-finished order of tater tots, Matty was found lying on his bed giggling up a storm as George laughed beside him. You walked over to him and did the same, reaching to pull a blanket over Matty’s lower half.

“Silly boy.”

“I am so fast!”

“What happened to your shower?”

“Took it,” he said, grinning up at you. “Had more Tequila after. It was yummy.”

“How much Tequila, Matty?”

He giggled. “A bunch!”

“And Jamie didn’t stop you?”

“Jamie,” Jamie grumbled, wiping sweat off his head, “was busy trying to apologize to our driver for having to stop because somebody wanted pancakes in the middle of the night.”

“They were good pancakes!”

You giggled and put a finger to his lips. “They were. How about I get you some water and pills and then you go to sleep? I’ll join you after my own shower, sans the streaking.”

Matty smiled wide. “Yeah. Wanna’ cuddle.”

“Of course. Oh and Matty?”

“Yes?” he asked, watching you start to go.

You paused and smirked. “You have a cute bum.”

Giggling and blushing, Matty shooed you away.

[elevenhoursinfront-blog]

27th November 2017

Our alarm went off at 0700. We planned to get up, have breakfast and leave by 0730. We laid in bed until around 0715 and then the mad rush began... We got dressed, brushed our teeth and packed the van up as fast as we could. We checked out, got our deposit back and drove the 3 minutes to the marina. We parked in the South side part (the only car park) and walked 5 minutes to the North side.  It took us about 10 minutes to find out where the North side was though. There were hardly any signs or people around to help. We went further South thinking it was North...

We got caught up in a traffic jam of people getting off a cruise ship. We were almost forced to have our photo taken but after a few attempts of saying “We're not with the cruise!”, they finally got the jist.

We walked around all the tours trying to find ours. I spotted a blonde girl with a top on which seemed to say something with an S. That was better than nothing so far. I walked over and the top said 'Summertime'. Wahoo. We're not being left behind!

Steve and I introduced ourselves and handed our forms in. We were the only ones who were capable of signing them properly apparently, so she was helping everyone re-do theirs. She finally introduced herself as 'Georgia', from Leicester, England. She seemed to be around my age so I was certain we would get along fine.

Our boat was a small-ish one, our group was 16 including us both, excluding Captain Jack (Aussie) and Deckhand Georgia. 

Our group consisted of a family of three from England – Mum, Dad and Son. Dan (son) was in his late 20's who completed his year visa to Oz 7 years ago. He's here again showing Mum and Dad his favourite parts. I think they were from Bolton (they had funny accents, ignoring words like 'the'). Mum and Dad don't live in England any more though, they moved to Portugal and do a B&B thing. Dan still lives in England.

An Irish couple, 28 & 29 years old. Engaged to be married next May, on a 3 week holiday to Australia. We got on the best with these two – stuck with them basically the whole time! A lone traveller, early 20's from the Netherlands. We had to share a 'room' with Hannah, she was alright.  

2 French girls. They were absolutely lovely even though we didn't really talk much to them. Very easy going, always went last for everything including getting food. Generally really happy, nice people.

3 German couples – all female friends, all in pairs and neither of them knew each other. All backpackers who ended up being the best of friends and some of the worst people to be a on 2 day 1 night boat trip with. Unfortunately, they booked Summertime for the same reason as us. It has a reputation of 'no backpackers' and all the backpackers picked it! They were just very young and very hyper. A particularly annoying girl was called Lisa. She had to have the attention all the time. She's a vegetarian so had different meals and what not. She asked several times for soy milk but she never told them beforehand about not being able to drink normal milk, so they never managed to get some in. She made a massive fuss about not being able to drink tea or coffee black because it gives her a bad stomach (she has black tea after about 3 hours).

So, we all boarded the vessel, sat down and went through all the safety bits and bobs, itinerary and everything else that needed to be said. We weren't allowed to bring our own bags onto this trip, they provided us all with a tote bag to use. This is because of bed bugs. We weren't allowed to bring shampoo or conditioner either because apparently that ruins the reef. No red wine due to it staining either. Other than that, we were all good to go. Steve and I had 5 cans of apple cider each which I doubt will even get used but better to be prepared.

The boat was a medium sized boat, fairly old (70 years old I think) and was quite limited to space. There were benches either side which everyone sat on. Downstairs were where our rooms were and it was pretty much an open area. Bunks all around the outside with a main table in the middle and the two toilets. Steve and I shared a double top bunk and there was a single below us for Hannah. There was a little door/curtain to close it off but there were gaps in the top and bottom so lights and sounds would still get through. The same for everyone. When I say double bunk, it was slightly bigger than a single bunk. I’d describe it as a single bunk for someone with a large rear end, perfect for me! 

We were told we could only have a 60 second shower as there's limited water on a boat and should it run out, the trip gets cancelled and back to Abell Point Marina we go. Pretty straight forward and understanding.

We set off for what ended up being a 4 hour journey to the Whitsunday Islands. We had tea and coffee with biscuits to start with which was great as Steve and I were starving. I was able to take my seasickness tablets too as I was advised the boat was fairly wobbly. I was dreading it but so far so good, no paper bags at the ready.

We had an early lunch around 1200. Lunch was a roll with ham/beef/cheese and salad. It was fairly boring and there wasn't enough for everyone to have a second. They did bring out wraps which helped so that was better than nothing.

We arrived at Tongue Point, Whitsunday Islands around 1200. We had to leave the main boat and get into a tender to the shore. Steve and I went in the first 8 and waited on the beach for the rest. We had a short 5-10 minute hike up to the main lookout. The walk was easy, it was just absolutely boiling hot. I hadn't realised that Steve and I (mainly I) had got very burnt on the boat on the way out here. I was bright red and everyone was mentioning it to me. I was caked in sun cream, I was leaving it on thick so I looked like a right tit as it was.

There were loads of different tour groups around. You had to make sure you kept an eye on your deckhand otherwise you could easily get mixed up. We finally reached the top of the lookout point and the view was incredible. It actually seemed unreal... You see these sort of views used as photo shop backgrounds. When people stood there for a photo in front of the view, it looked like they had a different background and they were cut out!

It was a bright blue/turquoise ocean with swirls of sand islands going through it. I will never, ever forget the view. I believe it's rated as the worlds second most beautiful/amazing beach.

There were a lot of people at the lookout. It was a one-way system so once you moved on, you were done. Our group were finished after about 15 minutes looking out. We did the walk back down and then we were able to go onto the beach!

The walk to the beach only took 5 minutes. The sand was a fine white sand, soft and squeaky. Exactly like Maya Bay in Thailand. The sand went on for miles and the water was clear as anything. We had an hour and 15 minutes to play with so Steve and I put our wet suits on and went straight into the water. I was still really quite burnt so my wet suit stayed on for that as well as the marine stingers.

The water was lovely but didn't go further than your thighs. No matter how much you walked out, it stayed at the same level. We quickly realised that we shared the water with hundreds of stingrays. You saw big, dark, round circles sitting still until you got close, then they disappeared quickly. Some stayed very still which is how we realised what they were. I filmed some on the GoPro.

We stayed in the water for a while before getting out to do photos. We took photos by a big white log which is allegedly famous. Steve assisted the girls in a pyramid by being at the bottom with Bryan (the male part of the Irish couple).

We all met up at our meeting point at 1515. That meant it was time to leave Whitehaven Beach. What an incredible spot. A memory of a lifetime that. We all got into the tender and back on the boat, starving I may add! We had snacks being cooked for us, tea, coffee and cookies were there already. The German backpackers were kind of like vultures, flies around sh*t, you get my gist.

Steve went and showered so I went downstairs to do the same. The waves were coming in thick and fast so I ended up panicking about being sick and running upstairs. I panicked so much that I smashed my head on the hatch and slipping over into the small rail. Luckily, I didn't go overboard although I was about 1cm off. Everyone ran over to me and made sure I was ok and that I wasn't going to still end up in the water. I was fine, just panicked. I decided against a shower, for now.

We all sat on the boat chilling, listening to music before we left. Our snacks were mini sausage rolls, spring rolls and mini pies. Steve and I loved the mini pies! We ended up setting sail off to the spot for sunset and sleep. The sunset was absolutely beautiful. I took some good photos.

We anchored up in still water, luckily. I thought about going to shower loads of times but couldn't bring myself to go downstairs. I got up and forced myself down whilst the water was calm. I panicked straight away for no reason at all. I have 'muscle memory' in my mind but I'm not sure if that's correct. My body remembers things from before and automatically panics regardless of whether I need too. I'm weird though.

I showered and got dressed fast. That wasn't just because of the '60 second shower rule' either. I still felt mank though, my hair had been in the sea and I couldn't wash or condition it. Bleh. Hopefully I won't have too many dreadlocks tomorrow.

I went upstairs and waited for dinner, like everyone else. Steve and I started chatting to Dan about his first year. He worked on a cotton farm! Stuff that for a laugh! We got talking more and more to Bryan and his Mrs too. Steve, Bryan and Dan cracked open their beers and I waited for dinner first. We had only a roll plus small snacks today so having a beer wasn't going to help, I'm a lightweight as it is.

We did wait for hours for dinner mind you. It was dished up around 2000. We had BBQ chicken, mushroom pasta bake (I picked out every single mushroom), Greek salad and garlic bread. I didn't really like the chicken as the skin/fat was still left on it. I gave mine to Steve. The pasta bake was mostly mushrooms. The Greek salad was nice (we picked out the olives) and the garlic bread was the best part. I had 2 bits! Steve had seconds but as I said, I'm so picky so I don't get very far with trips that provide food.

We continued chilling out and Steve seemed to be getting through our beers quite fast, keeping up with Bryan. Around 2100, we went downstairs and sat around the table with dessert. Chocolate cheesecake. I definitely had some of that whereas Steve didn't!

We all went through the photos from the day and went through tomorrow's itinerary. We had to be up for breakfast at 0630!! I'm going to need a good holiday after these 4 weeks of holiday! Pfft.

I got myself into bed afterwards. It was 2130 and I was knackered. The sea and sun take it out of you, although I really don't need any excuse for going to bed. That's my happy place, I'm there 90% of my day! Steve stayed up with the Irish couple and played Uno. They were all drunk.

I didn't get to sleep. The noise of everyone playing and drinking kept me up, as well as the lights. It was going to be a long night... 

Steve came in after about an hour. He said he felt 7/10 drunk but ask him now and he says that he's fine!

We fell asleep straight away but we were woken up at 2330 by Hannah.

Hannah must've had a nightmare because she was screaming 'HELP ME HELP ME'. Automatically, I got up straight away to help her. When she finally woke up out of it, she said she was fine. I heard Dan wake up next door and asked if everything was ok. I told him she was fine and that it was a bad dream. Hannah said she dreamt that the walls were coming in on her and she was about to drown. You can't blame her, anyone who's claustrophobic would struggle being where we were. Tiny little rooms and beds that didn't fit a pillow down flat. We were under water and heard the splashing next to us. It was weird. Steve and I said that's enough for boat trips.

[imkeepingtrack]

Recap: 16.5.19

Today felt like a very long day.

I didn't have a shower this morning. My hand was stressing me out and I didn't want to have to figure out the logistics of showering as well, so I didn't.

Saw P. We talked about stuff a bit. When we were talking about my anxiety around going to the office she said something about me putting the blame on other people, which straight up isn't true. A lot of it's about me thinking the staff don't want me there, but I'm very aware that's a me problem not a them problem. That put me on edge, and then she started asking about my favourite place, and wanted me to describe it. That was just too much. It felt like a lot of pressure, and I also try not to think about the place, because I never get to go there, and coming back is so hard because it's amazing. I panicked, and when P went to get Mc (so we could go out as was already planned) I left.

I was going to go to the shop I went to on Tuesday night and buy more blades, but Mc caught up with me and managed to persuade me we should go and get ice cream. We did, and it was fine.

Got back to college and hung around with Mo for about an hour before my annual review meeting. Apparently there are no lessons on tomorrow because of exams, so he suggested I go home with my mum after the meeting. No thanks.

My case worker from the local authority was there, which I wasn't expecting. In an email he said it wasn't his job to come, and his boss was coming, but whatever. He scares me.

The meeting was ok though. Ups and downs. I got very stressed when they were talking about me doing stuff at another college next year, because they started talking about funding and it having to go to panel and lots of stressful things. But we also talked about the holidays and how my need for support doesn't just disappear when I'm not at college, and E said stuff about getting direct payments for a PA to take me out to do things which would be good. Fill some time.

Came back to the house afterwards and was pretty wound up. I had been sitting still for quite a while and all the stress had built up. I paced around my room until I felt sick, memorised some more of the periodic table (I'm up to 80 now), and hit my hand wound into the wall a lot of times. Not my best plan.

I hung around on my stairs for a bit and then Mo came up. He asked what I wanted to do, and suggested going down to the office. B was there but she was busy, so I went back to my room and then went for a walk. I told B I was going, and she asked if I wanted someone to go with me because that's what I agreed with Mo, but I said no and she said ok.

I went to the shop and bought 2 pencil sharpener sets (as well as couple of food things). Mo phoned me when I was almost back, asking if I'd gone for a walk. I thought he knew, because just after I left he texted me asking if I didn't want to be in the office and why, but it seems he thought I was in my room and didn't ask B. He was outside when I got back and came upstairs with me. He asked if I'd been to the shop and I didn't say no. He told me we were going to go for a walk, so we did.

We went to the church I like. I didn't speak to him on the way there. We were there for ages. We spoke about a lot of stuff. A lot of the time it felt like he was having a go at me which wasn't a lot of fun. He was talking all about personal responsibility and idek. He kept asking what I'd bought and eventually I told him, but I didn't specify the quantity. He said I'd have to give it to him when I got back, and I spent a fair amount of time trying to persuade him otherwise. It didn't work. I think he also views self harm of a very different scale to me. He was saying that any form of cutting is severe (especially if it involved alcohol), but I don't see it as that bad. I have 1 cut on my hand, and a couple of wounds on my leg. None of them have been bad enough that they've needed stitches and they're aren't that many. It's not a major issue. Mo disagrees. I think we should just let it play out, because it won't escalate for ever, or probably even that long. It'll get worse for a bit and then I'll stop. That's how it worked earlier in the year. Mo was going on about whether they can keep me safe and whether I can keep myself safe and what happens if the answer to those questions is no (not that he actually said what happens) and it was all just annoying. He also said stuff about me testing them (which is not what this is about) and finding loopholes because I'm bored (probably partly true but not the main issue). Apparently I'm going to either have to have someone go with me on walks or they'll check my bag when I get back. Wahoo.

When we got back he came up to my stairs and asked for the sharpeners. So I gave him 1 set. He asked if I had more and I said no. The first time I've straight up lied to him.

We took the dressing thing off my hand because I'd bled into it quite a bit after hitting my hand into the wall. There's now a dressing that's probably going to stick to it which will be super fun to take off. I'm going to buy more steri strips and some not stick dressing things tomorrow.

We sorted food and ate, and Mo said to come and find him when I was done. I was too stressed so just went to my room, but he texted and we ended up watching TV downstairs for about an hour.

About half an hour after the programme we were watching finished and I had gone back in my room, my dad texted saying he was sorry to hear about my hand. I phoned my mum and it turns out Mo phoned her last night. I'm not happy. We had discussed talking to my mum, and agreed that if (when) she saw and commented on my hand today, Mo would explain what happened. Except it turns out he went and told her, without telling me. I'm so done with him. I hope he's in tomorrow so I can ask him why he did it, when we had already come up with a plan, and especially why he didn't tell me. I was suspicious when my mum didn't ask about it today, but I thought she was just not asking in front of a load of other people and would ask tomorrow when she picks me up. I'm so glad I didn't give Mo the second sharpener set. I'm not going to reply to my dad.

I'm angry with Mo. All I know is that if I cut again I'm not going to be telling him (or potentially anyone, given it'll get back to him) about it. He's on the dead to me list. F was on it for a while for exactly the same reason as Mo- she told my mum about self harm stuff in October. P probably won't be particularly happy. She just loves me and my "black and white thinking" as she calls it.

I didn't self harm tonight. I have blades again now, which makes me feel better because I know that if my anxiety spirals I have that option. That sounds bad but it reassures me. I'm not sure having the alcohol is helpful. But I can't give it to Mo now, it's too late. I've had it for too long. Also I'm not giving him anything.

I don't know if I'll do anything tomorrow. My mum's coming sometime after 3 and I'll need to pack stuff at some point, but it'll only take a few minutes.

I don't know how I'm feeling about the weekend. In some ways I'm ready to be away from here for a couple of days, but I also don't want to see B2 and generally don't enjoy being at home.

It's nearly half term, which I'm dreading.

It's 1:30 and I need to go to sleep. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep in a bit tomorrow. I haven't had enough sleep this week.

Food:

Ice cream - 10:45

Gingerbread - 1:45

Chicken and cheese wrap, bakewell tart - 8:15

Japanese rice crackers, chilli rice crackers, chocolate - 11:00

Chilli rice crackers, egg custard tarts - 12:30

[cmjhawk86]

Let’s hope so! I more or less have the green light to do some cross-training now. So last night I set the bike trainer up in the basement. I didn’t use the trainer once last winter - perhaps an indicator of how mild conditions were a year ago - so I actually had to refresh my memory on the setup. Then I was having trouble getting a Wahoo cadence sensor I bought a few years ago to work. Turned out that all that time sitting there idle in the closet wore down the sensor battery.

In any case today I finally got to ride. Just 30 minutes but it’s a start. I followed it up with upper body weights (followed by knee rehab exercises with the resistance band) for my first real workout in a while.

I’m hoping to ride the trainer at least three days a week initially and build up from there. As for running, I’ll be patient with that. I am thinking March but that’s really just a guess. I still haven’t quite gotten to the bottom regarding what’s going on with the knee. As long as I can ride, and maybe swim too, I’ll be keeping my cardio strong - and my sanity in check. It feels good to have a training plan of some sort again.

[livelifefullofmeaning-blog]

Some thoughts and reflections on the Cultural Neuroscience of Humanity

Today my brother and I took a walk alongside the river that runs near our cottage and I found myself aware of a troubling fact. In the last few days and weeks I have been absorbed in the process of completing a university degree that has sucked most of my energy out. Though I have completed my summer semester (yes, wahoo), I could not appreciate the world around me with all the work I had for online courses run by professors I never met. David Attenborough noted in an episode of his hit BBC series ‘The Life of Birds’ that “those of us who live in towns and cities feel increasingly cut off from the natural world.” It is a tragic phenomenon that has resulted in us looking for stimulation in other places like the internet, Virtual Reality games - anything that might involve a screen. Even people living in some of the poorest countries in the world now have easier access to computers and mobile devices than they do reliable healthcare.

Cultural Studies has taught me that people are reliant on technology, and pieces of art that change the way we think about politics and ideology, to an extraordinary degree. It is detrimental in one crucial way; that audiences (readers, viewers, subscribers, etc.) crave violence, which has been the case since Shakespeare’s time when bearbaiting, bullbaiting, cockfights and duels to the death were regular occurrences in Europe. Motivational speaker Sean Stephenson has said that ‘but I’m not’ is the “most limiting disease on the planet” and that pity is the “worst drug that ever hit the human race.” I think that anything having to do with the Futurist Manifesto, or futurism in general, is a leech that injects an anticoagulant spiced with aggression-inducing drugs into the blood of young generations, driving them to act in accordance with radical ideals that include rejecting antiquarianism, glorifying war, holding women in contempt and spite towards preceding generations.

Though it may be essential to educate one’s self on the history of one’s family, state and/or country, and perfectly alright (if not virtuous) to want to right the wrongs of the past, waging war on one’s forefathers out of sheer hubris is counterproductive and hypocritical. Every new generation has seen an opportunity for cultural improvement and therefore taken a hopeful stance for the future. What sense does it make for men and women in their twenties to project anger at their parents’ and grandparents’ generations for creating the problems faced in the world today when they were, in effect, the futurists of their time? They may or may not have read Karl Marx or Filippo Marinetti, but they definitely helped humanity continue to evolve and heal from cultural wounds like the First and Second World War.

We here and now must continue to help each other and invent new ways of doing so as we travel forward through the pages of time (not just with more innovative technological advancements that lead to artificial intelligence or some kind of ‘adaptable nature’ in robots - something else). Even simply going into one’s self and realizing the full extent to which one can show love, courage, gratitude, empathy and appreciation in a dignified yet consistent manner is enough. The only fight in which everyone must partake again and again is the mental battle between good and evil on a daily basis. Intuition established through comradeship is the only way of knowing, as objectively as possible, when to contemplate or take action; when to live by established tradition or break away from cultural codes; when to move fast or simply be still.

[hotfitnesstopics]

Hello hello! Happy Monday! How was the weekend? I hope you had a great one. It was an enjoyable one over here, especially since it was our first weekend in a house and completely unpacked. Let the “real life” and some semblance of a routine begin. The weekend included giant margaritas, a family dinner party, Father’s Day celebrating, and a huge inflatable unicorn, so I’ll call it a good one. (My dad and stepmom got this enormous unicorn sprinkler for the girls. It’s already their new favorite thing.) Friday afternoon, we hit up the children’s museum, and later that evening, the fam came over to hang out and have dinner. The Pilot grilled his famous burgers and my Uncle E got to work in the kitchen with the fish. (We also had an enormous salad, sweet potato fries, and strawberry popsicles for the kiddos for dessert.) Whenever my brother Kyle makes recipe delivery service-type meals, he does his own thing with the ingredients. It made me laugh that Uncle E (

http://www.fitnessclub.cf/2018/06/sun-rain-and-ritas.html