#so using them topically like you're meant to would probably be the first choice

[azalawa-scroggs]

On why I think the "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death" note was meant literally

I've had this in my drafts for a while after seeing a poll that elicited a little discussion on the topic. I know this is the fandom's majority take on the subject so I'll probably be preaching to the choir, but there (rightly) is discussion about it nonetheless so I felt like giving my arguments.

I'll put it under a read-more just in case people missed the warning in the tags. Considering the topic, naturally, here's a warning for discussion of suicide. Please take care of yourself!

The thing is that Justice For All is very, very ambiguous on that. It does what Ace Attorney is really good at doing - brushing a serious topic then waffling on it until it really doesn't say anything about it, giving itself the benefit of doubt but never making a statement. Both Phoenix and Franziska's dialogue strongly hint that they have a certainty that Edgeworth is still alive, and they're proven right. The narrative doesn't try really hard to sell us the idea that Edgeworth died - Edgeworth is even on the game's box art. I've watched a few JFA walkthroughs hunting for people's reaction to all the Edgeworth talk and his apparent death, and nobody really seems to buy it - either going through great confusion or immediately going like "oh he can't be dead there's no way - he's so coming back."

However. However. It's just impossible to ignore all the subtext that points at the note being real.

The game textually sets up Adrian Andrews as a foil to Franziska. In the parallel Edgeworth draws, Celeste is supposed to represent Manfred - a mentor she admired and whose guidance she lost. But it was a deliberate choice from the writers to have Celeste die by suicide. In the same game that spent a whole game-wide subplot on slowly revealing Edgeworth's apparent death by the exact same means. Edgeworth is the one who gives Phoenix the information about Adrian and Celeste's backstory. And Franziska revealed to us she wasn't seeking revenge for her father, but for her "little brother" - in the parallel between her and Adrian Andrews' stories, it's easy to see Celeste paralleling Edgeworth, not Manfred.

And in fact Adrian is also a clear parallel to Edgeworth himself. He, too, lost the guidance of his mentor and was left questioning everything. In the infamous scene where he interrogates her in the first phase of the trial, he even puts his own words in her mouth.

If you're going to say you would "choose death", that is of no concern to me.

If you consider Rise from the Ashes, Edgeworth's dialogue leaves even less room for doubt regarding his mental state. Compilation:

Edgeworth: Hmph. Some people need very little excuse to think ill of others. It's a fact of life. Impossible to stop. Some of them even go so far as to present me with toys like this… They think it's funny. (Referring to the award he was just given)

Edgeworth: Why, I ask you? Why!? All along, I've done only what I believe is right. I have nothing to be ashamed of! But still... Phoenix: (Wow, I've never seen him this out of sorts...)

Edgeworth: Hmph. I've had to live the past two years with rumors flying around. What's another allegation to me? Ema: Cheer up, Mr. Edgeworth! I'm rooting for you! Phoenix: (That's Edgeworth for you... Always trying to hide his real feelings.)

Edgeworth: There's no excuse for what I've done. Two years ago, I used false evidence to obtain a guilty verdict. That's what it all breaks down to, and nothing I do can erase that fact.

Edgeworth: I'm tired, Mr. Wright. I feel as if… something inside me has died. [...] I know the path I've walked. You don't need to tell me. And the path I've walked... hasn't been a just one. I can't forgive myself for what I've done... and no one else should forgive me either. Phoenix: (Uh oh. I think he's serious!)

Edgeworth: ... It's too late for me. No matter what anyone may say, I realized today that I can't change my own mistakes! Not only that, but I don't even trust myself anymore. Chief Gant was right...

And of course:

Edgeworth: If you'll excuse me… there are still some loose ends that need wrapping up. Take care, Chief Prosecutor. Phoenix: Edgeworth! What will you do now? Edgeworth: ... Phoenix: Well, whatever you do, just remember. What happened in this trial can either make or break you as a prosecutor. In the end, it's up to you. Edgeworth: I know... It seems I owe you my thanks too, Wright. But what I face now... is my problem. Phoenix: Edgeworth... I'll be waiting for you in court. Edgeworth:... Farewell.

I've pulled all my quotes from the wiki, which I believe takes the DS version, but the retranslation of the port makes things even more blatant. Instead of "either make or break you as a prosecutor," the line was retranslated as "You can let what happened kill the prosecutor in you, or you can let it help you grow."

I don't know how much more literal you can get.

Of course, none of this dialogue strictly refers to anything but a professional crisis for Edgeworth. But it is a true crisis, one he takes very deeply and personally - it is his entire moral system that is crumbling down. And the phrasing of some of those lines is downright chilling. "I can't forgive myself, and nobody should do it either" "I feel like something inside me has died" "It's too late for me" or even those ominous "loose ends"... Whatever his final conclusion, he is not doing well. That's one thing RftA makes abundantly clear.

But then why are Phoenix and Franziska so angry, you'll ask me? Grief, of course. Why is Franziska adamant he still lives? Grief, of course - specifically denial. Why does Gumshoe know Edgeworth still lives? Several options. Edgeworth contacted him knowing he'd need someone to help him come back once he decided to come back, or Gumshoe is the one that prevented his note from turning literal, or Edgeworth contacted him at some other point for another reason - it could have happened at any point in his little mental health gap year.

It just makes much more sense to me than the alternative. Why leave a note saying he "chooses death" so unambiguously only to rely on a play on words? He was shown writing a perfectly good resignation letter right before that - the note was meant to be one step further from resignation. And why leave his loved ones in the dark, mourning him, for one entire year if he just deliberately left for soul-searching purposes? The man is obtuse when it comes to feelings, and honestly I could see him pulling this, but... not in conjunction with everything else.

And his arc just makes it make so much sense as well. Depression is often a comorbidity of PTSD, which Edgeworth has, as close to canonically as possible without it being spelled out. He is in an extremely fragile place psychologically - two months earlier his trial dragged him across the coals emotionally, his traumatic past revisited and revealed in an extremely public way. His quest for "perfection" was shattered not just through the losses he suffered at Phoenix's hand but through the sudden, deep and complete betrayal of the man who taught it to him. He only had one moral high ground left - the fact that he never knowingly forged evidence - only for that to be ripped away from him too. Of course he could be nothing less than unstable.

So anyway I don't have any fancy conclusion but yeah I can't imagine "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death" wasn't meant literally. Even though I'm pretty sure that wasn't the authorial intent, I think it must have been somewhere in the works anyway, otherwise there wouldn't be so many hints to it.

[cherlawa-panna]

The interesting case of Barney Barton's name

Let's focus on a bizarre mystery in the Clint Barton universe (even though it's not really a mystery). And no, I'm not talking about why Clint is portrayed as a loser in the latest comics.

I'm talking about the the biggest idiot in Clint's life. His brother, Barney Barton. And based on the title, you can probably guess the topic of focus: about his name, duh.

To be fair, if you're not deeply into his lore or Clint Barton's family lore, you might not think his name is a mystery. You might assume his parents just didn't love him enough and named him Barney. Easy thing, right? Nope. Wrong.

Many people don't know this, and I don't blame them, but this bastard actually has a different name.

Please give a round of applause for: Charles Bernard Barton!

Yes, it's on his tombstone. And I bet he would rather be in his grave right now instead of being alive, but unfortunately, he didn't have much choice <3.

Don't feel bad if you didn't know this; his full name appears once and once only. It was shown in Hawkeye Vol. 3 and never mentioned again.

If you're like me, you probably have many questions. Why was his name mentioned only once? Why is his name Charles Bernard? Why is he ALWAYS called Barney? Why is his nickname based on his middle name instead of his first name? Why isn't he called Charlie or whatever????

Well, I'm going to answer every question you have—or at least I'll try!

We'll break this post into two parts: first, the real reason behind his name (from the author's perspective, but remember this is just my theory) and second, the fun reason I use in my fanon.

I'm dedicating it for @carcrash429 because I promised them Barney posts a long time ago but my depression didn't let me </3 I have more posts in my drafts so I'll public more soon. And for @hawkzeyes because they're my bestie.

Why Did the Authors Hurt Him with This Name?

The answer is quite simple. Barney was never supposed to have a significant role in Clint's story. Let me explain this. He first appeared in Avengers #64 (March, 1969) as a racketeer from the mob.

Look at him, the fancy criminal, with his own crew working for him. Even Egghead, a well-known villain bastard, wanted to work with him. He's a serious deal, guys; Barney must have held a high rank in the mob or whatever. Everything about him screams: a bad guy.

And despite all that, his sole purpose was to reveal Clint's name to us readers. And that's it, it was the only reason for his existence.

So, let's consider this from the author's perspective. We have a character who is a criminal, destined to die for the plot, just because we want to make Clint's name reveal more dramatic. He's suppose to be a bad guy who decided to change his ways before his tragic death, and in some way he serve as the other side of coin trope for Clint. What name should we give him? In this goofy comic with characters who look ridiculous—where even one of the villains is called Egghead—it's no surprise the authors would give him a stereotypical name.

If you don't know it: The name Barney is slang for "an angry argument." According to the Oxford dictionary, it's also defined as "a derogatory term for a man," originally meaning a worthless or contemptible man, but later used to describe an inept, unfashionable, or unattractive man, sometimes implying a loser.

In short: This name carries very bastard vibes.

I'm pretty sure they didn't pay much thought with naming him. They probably chose it quickly because it fits and that's it. And it sounds a bit like a nickname for a mobster (there is a real gangster from one of New York's crime families named Barney so yeah).

Barney remained Barney for a long time because he wasn't meant to be someone important like I said before —just a family member from Clint's backstory who was supposed to reveal Clint's name to us and make Clint angry for the plot.

But then came Hawkeye Vol. 3 where they decided, "Fuck it, let's un-barney your barney". And it turns out Barney isn't a very good name for someone like the Barney we see in Vol. 3. That's why they decided to give him a better name, making him seem more serious and fancy.

And now we have his name on the tombstone, and only on the tombstone. After that, Hawkeye Vol. 3 never refer to him as Charles and Bernard again. Even Barney's friend from the FBI calls him Barney in the letter to Clint for some goddamn reason.

The authors probably simply wanted to show, "Hey! He's a deep character with a serious name. He's more than just a goon from now because we need to give Clint more trauma."

You get that vibe, right? From now, Barney is just a nickname for Charles used by his friends, coworkers and family and that's it. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it? And it should be, however something got very wrong. No one seems to use his real name. Everyone calls him Barney regardless of who they are, even those who should use his real name.

Like, in his freaking MEDICAL CHART in New Avengers (2010), they called him Barney Barton.

It's ridiculous. But why this happened? It's simple The authors simply doesn't know his name.

Those who wrote him later after Hawkeye: Blindspot didn't bother to check his previous appearances (which you can see by how they wrote him). This kind of thing is common in the comics industry. For instance, remember when in Hawkeye Vol. 4 they forgot that Clint was dating Jessica and accidentally made him cheat on her? Funny times.

The only reason Barney appeared in later comics as Trickshot after Hawkwey: Blindspot is because the authors wanted a villainous counterpart to Hawkeye and they didn't pay much attention to his character. They just wanted an evil Clint lmao

Barney's time as Trickshot was a weird chapter in his lore, where he became a very different character than he was before. He just became a loser copy of Hawkeye before the authors eventually forgot about his existence. Then, in Hawkeye Vol. 4, it was suddenly decided to bring Barney back without bothering to explain why he quit his villain work. Why? Because nobody really cares about him; he's just a side character and he was needed for the plot. That's why Barney is the most frustrating character I've ever liked—his personality and motives changes in every new comic. It's INSANE.

But not every author forgets the fact that his real name isn't Barney… though they still don't use his actual name correctly. In some comics with different Earths or in other media, they refer to him as Bernard.

(Secrets of the House of M #1 [Earth-58163])

Why? Perhaps because they want him to sound fancier or more serious. They likely didn't use his first name because those who are not into Hawkeye lore wouldn't know that Barney and Charles are the same person. It's that simple.

Which brings us to another question: WHY IS HIS FIRST NAME CHARLES????

To be fair? I don't know. I wish to know. I've tried to research it, but I've come up empty-handed. Maybe I'm not good in research.

I mean, people tends to have nicknames from their second name but it's still weird. We may never find out why they made him Charles Bernard and not Bernard Charles.

Why Did His Parents Hurt Him with This Name?

Alright, it's time for the fun part of this post: how I imagine the reasons behind his nickname in story-wise. Let's dig in, shall we?

First and foremost, it's important to note that his parents never called him Barney. Perhaps this is because flashbacks always focus on Clint alone. It's Clint Barton's world after all.

Their father referred to Barney as a brat in one issue, but that's the extent of their parents acknowledging Barney lmao.

And the only person in flashbacks from their early childhood who calls Charles by his nickname is Clint. So it's likely that his parents called him by his real name and the nickname came from Clint.

So we can assume it's a childhood nickname that carried into adulthood. But why Barney? You could assume that Clint just called him Barney because it sounds better than Charlie, but I like to complicate things. I have 2 (maybe 3) options I usually explore in my stories (which I've never published because I'm a coward, so you'll never read them).

1. There was a lot of Charles in their neighborhood.

Probably there were many other kids named Charles, and to avoid confusion, they started giving each Charles a nickname (because Charles is popular name, duh — it's #11 in Top Names Over the Last 100 Years). Which is a normal thing tbh. I had another kid with my name in school, and my friends gave me a nickname to avoid mixing us up too.

Maybe Barney's friends started calling him Barney, and Clint picked it up and started using it too.

2. There was another Charles in their family.

I like to write in my stories that he was named after his grandfather from his father's side, and to distinguish between them, they called Charles "Bernard." Clint became so accustomed to "Bernard" that he started calling him Barney. This nickname persisted even after their family stopped exist lmao.

Maybe he also had a cousin with the same name after their grandfather, and that could be another reason why he was called Bernard. I don't know why people name their children after their siblings' kids, but it happens sometimes.

3. BOTH

Do I need to even explain this? I always incorporate both of these headcanons in my stories. It began with family, as he was named after his grandparent so they called him Bernard, then his friends started calling him Barney. Easy story.

I imagine that he was also called Barney in the army/FBI, because there were too many Charles. And that's why his best buddy from Hawkeye Vol.3 calls him this way.

These reasons are also the same reasons why I believe he continues to be Barney and never Charles later in his life.

I'll borrow a bit from the canon, because there's one interesting thing here.

(I think it was from Thunderbolts issues but I don't remember now.)

He probably doesn't like his name. Yeah, I know this panel is probably about his name being Barney and him being bitter about it because it's a stupid name (because authors didn't bother to check older Hawkeye comics again). But I don't care. I'll do whatever I want with this panel and treat it as if he's bitter about his real name lmao.

Why is he bitter? Why doesn't he like his name? You can create any headcanon you want, but mine is simple: he was named after someone in his family, and he hates his family. Maybe this caused him to have a bad relationship with his name. Or his parents were the only one who called him Charles and he hated it because of that. And he would want to disconnect from his past and therefore uses Bernard.

He was called Barney for most of his life, so I think he usually tells people he is Bernard and not Charles. Or "Yeah, I'm Charles, but you can call me Barney". I also think that after the Trickshot fiasco, he changed his name to Bernard Barton (probably not legally because he's still a wanted criminal). And he did it in other universes (like in Earth-58163).

That's it. I hope it wasn't too messy. Remember, it's just my theories and headcanons so you can not agree with me if you want.

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

On the topic of Nagito resenting Izuru, I actually think it could go beyond that. Something that I'm not totally convinced about is none of Class 77 having any hard feelings towards Hajime. While them loving him inside the simulation makes perfect sense, would that really carry over smoothly once they were back out? Because his actions led to both them being brainwashed and for their deprogramming session being sabotaged in the first place. And to add insult to injury, he can take some solace in feeling less "tainted" than they are. Izuru had more autonomy and self-control during the Tragedy, while they were reduced to vicious idiots acting on whatever violent impulse came to them. Like with Sonia, she has to live with being known to the world as the tyrant queen who brought her homeland to ruin (though I personally like to headcanon that Novoselic is recovering). Meanwhile for the few people who are aware of a 15th Remnant, Hajime is "that one other dude with the long hair that we're not even sure killed that many people". I mean if I came out of the NWP with all that mental (and possibly physical) baggage, and the dude in our group who was most responsible for the rest of us becoming so fucked up was conversely the least guilty of us AND got handed a thousand super-talents...well I think I'd be a wee bit resentful and jealous. And going back to Nagito, it also seems a bit unrealistic to me that in most fanfics there doesn't seem to be any resistance from him to accepting medical aid from Hajime. Or dismay at discovering it was done while he was in a coma. Because on top of him probably not feeling like he'd want to prolong his life, accepting that kind of aid from the former Izuru would probably feel kind of infantilizing to be honest. Dude gets handed everything you ever wanted including a better version of your luck, he betrays Hope's Peak because he's bored, does absolutely nothing while someone dear to you is murdered and you and your classmates get brainwashed, sets things up so that your attempted suicide will actually result in you getting possessed by your nemesis...and now you're just meant to let him assert the power of a doctor over you and welcome him as your savior? I just think there'd probably need to be a moment where Nagito is convinced to accept treatment, rather than it being done to him without his consent. Make him feel assured that he has agency and control over his own body, and that continuing to live was his own choice. Because otherwise I think it could get really nasty. " I don't care that you're the most talented man alive. Even if I'd wanted to live, you, of all people on this planet, YOU are the last human being on Earth that I would want help from."

Ooo this be a spicy take! But some very good points! First off, sorry for taking so long to reply to this question it just this got me back into my Dangan theorist mode, and I wanted to replay all of Chapter 0/6 as well as read a summary of Zero in order to re-examine how the game and novel present Izuru Kamukura.

I’ll try my best not to derail this because Izuru’s whole existence and backstory is just…..such a brain worm for me that I can speculate on for hours. There’s just so much we don’t truly know if we’re basing this solely on the games (which I usually prefer to do seeing as the anime is filled with contradictions). But, doing so would mean having to excuse his involvement (or lack of) in preventing Chiaki’s murder and class 77’s brainwashing since there’s nothing within the games that indicates such things happening since even within game it flat out states Junko manipulated her high power connections (ie: the Ultimates), one by one and not in a batch.

She really only used video footage of explicit killing to manipulate the Reserve Course into rioting (Dr0), the rest of the world into more despair (Dr1) and as a way to taunt the Future Foundation (SDR2). Hell, technically, there is no proof that Chiaki actually existed in real life if we’re going only by the games too. That was something canonized by the anime.

Well okay. There may be ONE thing in the second game that can potentially confirm Chiaki’s existence in the real world and that’s her presence being listed in the book Nagito got with everyone's info. However, this was given to him by Monokuma and Nagito did destroy any of the information regarding his classmates time in and out of  school that could have very well revealed that Chiaki wasn’t ever there—but I digress and this aint about Chiaki rn this is about Izuru.

What we do know of him through the game is that he sees himself as being used by Junko and thus brought in a flash drive with her AI to insert into the Neo World Program as a virus so he could use her instead. This feels contradictory though, if the end result would be Junko taking over all their bodies. You can’t even argue that he did it so Hajime could override his present self and come back because that would have happened regardless (that was literally what was SUPPOSED to happen). So then why bring Junko back? How was he using her in that regard? Well, the only thing I can think of is that he pretty much already knew how it was all going to end, and that creating a killing game was the only way to ensure everyone stayed alive whilst retaining their old memories thus decreasing the chance of them falling back into Ultimate Despair when re-awakened and in a way saying “fuck you” to Junko’s despair and destroying the last remnants of her both in name and digitally.

Cool beans. He still lied to them all though. Junko states that each of them willingly went into the program knowing well that her virus was going to force them into a killing game to cause despair. Izuru, though, didn’t tell them his whole plan or how it was truly going to end, otherwise no one would have joined. And that’s not necessarily bad–he was doing it for their own good! Except, well, there’s not conclusive proof that he did so for their sake (and since we don’t know if Chiaki existed irl we don’t know if he did this for her). Also given how indifferent he is in-game, the fact that his surgery left him emotionally distant, and his lack of connection with class 77, well it’d be easier to believe that Izuru did this all purely out of self interest in a way to get “revenge” at Junko and perhaps alleviate his boredom.

Now, present Hajime WOULD have an emotional investment in class 77 and it’s that reason he sticks around to help them recover. But, honestly, I agree that the ex-remnants would take some time to come around to fully trusting him again because remember: they ARE still recovering from despair. It would not be surprising if their residual remnant emotions feel betrayed by him for lying to them and essentially killing off Junko for good. Add in their in-game memories conflicting with their past memories every time they see Hajime and he’s not quite the same Hajime they befriended thus reminding them that he’s also  that guy who just randomly showed up one day then manipulated them into a scheme for seemingly his own self interest, yeeeah it might take them a while before being buddy buddy with him.

Though they will eventually, but let’s focus on Nagito for a bit because he’d be the absolute last person to come around in fully trusting Hajime/Izuru. Because you see, while it was stated that the remnants agreed to be part of the killing game, we know for a fact that not ALL of them did so. And we know this because of chapter 0. In it, we see Nagito meeting Izuru for the first time (as Nagito literally says he’s never seen Izuru before), thus Izuru has not been in contact with Nagito to inform him of the plan (which actually brings into question WHY Nagito is even there/agreed to re-programming but that’s a theory for another day). We also see Nagito being very confused about Izuru’s talking about his flash drive with Junko’s AI in it. And, although he doesn’t fully understand what Izuru is planning, what he takes from it is that he’ll be able to see Junko again and get the chance of killing her himself. Izuru does not correct him or inform him of anything else. Meaning, Nagito knows absolutely nothing of the killing game he unknowingly signed up for nor of the possibility of his body being taken over by Junko.

In other words: NAGITO DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS AT ALL.

Unlike his classmates who can forgive Hajime’s actions as Izuru because yeah technically they DID agree to it, Nagito was not even informed much less had the option to say yes. You can argue that Izuru did so intentionally knowing that Nagito’s strange half-remnant state and intense resentment towards despair and Junko would have made him too much of a risk to the plan that is was better to leave him in the dark, but it still doesn’t change the fact that Nagito didn’t get a choice. Add in our previous discussion of why Nagito would be resentful towards Izuru because of all his gifted talents along with this and I���d say yeah, Nagito wouldn’t be all that welcoming toward accepting Hajime’s help post game.

This doesn’t even add in your note on pro-longing his life without his input or anything from the anime, so if Chiaki’s death was actually used as a trigger for class 77 and Izuru could have done something about it–YEAH that’s going to make the resentment exponentially worse.

So your last tidbit of Nagito getting a chance to decide something for himself just hits so strongly given he never got the chance to do so before. It’s the least he deserves now.

[gatorpriestess]

The Rules

This is a no minors zone

Sorry, but I write adult themes and I am the most comfortable writing with other adults. If your blog doesn't have your age anywhere, I am just going to block for my own comfort.

Bigots are blocked on sight

And yes, this includes if you can't see your character dating a certain minority (such as "yes my character likes men, but they'd never date a transman"). I do not care what your reasons are, it's uncomfortable and I don't want that kind of attitude in my spaces.

My topic blacklist

There are some topics I either won't roleplay or will only roleplay under specific circumstances. Please keep this blacklist in mind while interacting:

I ship based off chemistry, and only with muses that are of age and not related to Serafine. Ships happen in their own timelines and I will not roleplay out cheating arcs. Don't assume relationships, ask first.

I am extremely uncomfortable with the assumptions that Serafine is dumb and/or dirty. I write Serafine as quite intelligent in her own ways and she takes good care of her hair and general hygiene. I'll delete anything with these assumptions and probably block you.

I am fine with writing about SA or CSA if it is in the character's past. I am not okay with roleplaying these scenes out or having them done to my muse.

I am sensitive to things like biting/scratching either done to my muse or done by my muse and will not write them under any circumstance. Please do not expect me to and do not expose me to that content just because "that's what my muse would do".

Roleplay behaviors that make me uncomfortable

These are behaviors that may lead to an immediate block:

Godmodding is always a no. I don't mind if your character is a literal and powerful god, just don't use that to screw my muse over unfairly.

Please don't kill my muse. Though I understand other roleplayers enjoy exploring this theme, I simply do not. I will not kill your muse in turn. Torture is also a no for me.

Forced mood shifts. If I put a funny scenario into your inbox and you decide to make it depressing or if I give you a serious prompt and you decide to make it all flowers and rainbows, it's just a huge mood killer.

Controlling my muse. It's no fun if one person is dictating the entire roleplay.

The NSFW thing

I am fine with NSFW, but I do have some boundaries and things I am not interested in writing. As I said above, biting and scratching is a no go for me. So is penetration and things like aggressive sub/dom situations. I won't write anything involving whips or punishments. I may not be overly detailed or graphic about the scenes I write. Just keep these things in mind. If you want to start off a scene as NSFW or leading to NSFW, please communicate that clearly.

Don't lecture me about responses

Roleplay is a collaborative experience. Here are behaviors I don't consider collaborating:

Stating I meant something over just asking.

Publicly posting about issues in my behavior in the hopes that I will see it rather than either DMing or just blocking me.

Being overly picky about word choice or how I decide to fill in a prompt fill. The point of a prompt is filling in the blanks so it fits a character, creative liberties will be taken and that just is how it is.

Criticizing the way I write my character. If you don't like it, you're again, always free to block me.

It's okay to be specific or even picky about what you want. If I am able to and desire to provide that for you, I will, or we can politely go our separate ways and both find better partners for ourselves. Bossing me around like I'm your student sending in a paper to you for a grade is not it, and bad faith assumptions can easily just make you look like an asshole. Roleplay is supposed to be fun, don't be a dickhead for no reason. If I feel like you're giving me shit, I will just block you.

If you've read this, please send in the password, "or else you are lost again." You don't have to, but I may be uncomfy roleplaying with you until you do.

[hard-core-super-star]

It's okay, by now you probably know that I don't mind that and that taking your own time is more important, so you don't need to apologize for these things, I hope you're better now tho. I mean, totally, but if you look at the essays we write, we reply quite quickly. it probably was, but yes, at that moment I was already sleeping peacefully lmao. It's funny to see me admitting that you're right? 🤨 wHaTt?? kdhwkkwka is this chance in the room with us???? I don't know how I could expand on this- 😶

OH??? so you first call the characters from legends of tomorrow (I already forgot their names) irrelevant and now you say that my party theme is boring???? I don't know if you should be invited after that words actually 🤨 OKAY KSHSJWAK I woke up being attacked today, I see. well, as I said “less” I will still continue to be at least 0.00001% a brat. stfu asgwjwk it was not convincing! I mean, you can watch movies on this app... with more than one person... and since you were thinking about watching the amazing spider-man and it's been a while since I watched it this idea appeared in my mind so- 😶 oh yeah? Is it a win for me that I'm seeing? (saying caso cerrado and caso encerrado seems to have more emotion, I should have written that). both, lmao. I can't say, it's literally a state secret. we should make a duo 🤔

I thought you said you weren't an analyst??? you're welcome, it took me a few minutes staring at the wall and reflecting on life before and after I wrote this. yeah, but still!! i- heiwkjekq WELL, I guess I have no option but to leave this aside for now- you are (sometimes), but you won't see me complaining 👀 yup, that's not why my mind stops working on these messages, which gives yet another reason for the delay in replying.

sorry but I didn't laugh at that at all, I was completely serious. I won't say I was as confused as you reading this again and I admire that you have understood my sleepy messages so far. well, if this new follower has miles' pfp and a totally not sus name... it's not me. and I'm definitely not interested in you giving me your Instagram. I'm not quite sure of what you didn't double-checked 😶 I'm not excited either and I'm not laughing at the fact that it's been a day or two (I think) since this idea came up and we still haven't managed to make it happen kwhsjak

lmao, yes 😭😭 should I tell you if this happens?

that's why synonyms are sometimes our greatest allies on this journey 🙏 HEY! you made them so dirty but I bet even they couldn't stand grammar. now, if you told me that a person who likes grammar runs over old people on the street, I would completely agree. you just try to avoid grammar at all costs, don't you? lmao. You can trust my word, as I like to say: só confia, tá comigo tá, com deus. I don't know?? but it was literally as clear as day what you meant, I don't know why you thought it didn't make sense ksshjskajwjk also, my teacher used to say the same thing to me about the places she traveled. oh jshsjakakk the hole is deeper then- I recommend 😶 you brought up a good question because it's something I like to think about sometimes. soooo.... yes? in my humble and pure opinion, she has ADHD (Robin having ADHD is also a hc, and as I see them as practically the same person but in different fonts this plays a role in me thinking about it for kate too). you just dropped the greatest act of love in the entire world- it's literally impossible for any human being to hide a +4 to let the other person get revenge, that's cute 😔 not the feigning shock jahskaaksjk kate would notice it?

– 🌟

remember a while ago when you said you were fighting the urge to apologize for apologizing? that's me rn. starting to realize my tendency to overexplain myself comes from the awful friend choices i've made in the past but that's another topic. that's a good point, once again, we've proven that we are in fact incredibly fast when it comes to writing these essays. i don't know what we're going to do with this information but i'm glad we have it now. yes, although i think entertaining is a better word. adflhgadsgkl it's long gone by now but it stuck around as long as it could. ...fine, we can let it go for now unless there's something more you'd like to say 👀

OH MY GOD, when are you going to let that go??? i already apologized like three times, smh. i would say i didn't mean it like that but no, i did mean it. i just couldn't figure out what kind of decorations a party with a theme like that would have, maybe if i was invited i could help you figure it out but fine 😑 does it really count as being attacked if i'm completely right? i would be upset about that if i didn't find your brattiness endearing. damn, that sucks, i tried my best to make it convincing as possible for you. i can't believe you still found a way to leave your sentence unfinished, smh. i'm definitely not saying your idea intrigues me but i'm certainly thinking about it. i think this win is half-and-half but whatever floats your boat, darling. look at you finally answering a question, good job, i'll take it as a compliment. i agree, we'd be very successful 'cause we're hilarious. [we can even ask the audience, i'm sure at least one person will agree with us]

again, i'm an overthinker, not an analyst but if you say so 🤷 well, i'm glad your reflections didn't make you delete it because i loved reading it. but still what??? you just don't want to let me win, huh? look at that, i won again, i'm starting to feel a little bad but then again, you make it very easy. well, as long as you're not complaining, i guess i have no choice but to keep being as obvious as possible. just so that you don't get confused, of course, no other reason. yeah, definitely not. i also won't admit that you've had the same effect on me more than once 😶

i don't know why but i'm having a hard time believing that 🤨 i won't say i'm glad to hear you admit it because i certainly wasn't worried that i was being dumb. well, i certainly didn't forget to follow this person back last night which means i certainly didn't just follow them back right now. well since you're not interested, i won't give you another math problem to find me. take the 11th letter of the alphabet, add a . and then add my nickname. [if anyone else is doing this to stalk me, you're legally obligated to like my two most recent pictures, i don't make the rules 🤷] well, i won't say that i haven't given you all my cards and now it's not up to you how to proceed. you certainly don't have both my tktk and my insta and i'm not waiting for a message from you at all.

definitely lmao

i agree, they also help make things less repetitive. sdghjsjh yeah, yeah, okay, i like your version better. listen, i know grammar exist for a reason but i would prefer it if it stayed away from my long and pretty sentences. i'm very proud to say that i think i understood that and i DIDN'T have to use google translate for it. [but please don't test my understanding because i will probably end up looking stupid] i'm still convinced you have some sort of superpower because you understand basically all of my incoherent sentences. i don't even understand what i mean most of the time lmao. it certainly is and it's never-ending lmao. i'll think about it 🤘 i think so too, tbh. she's like a heavy mix of ADHD and anxiety in my book. which is why a lot of her "quirks" in my fics are really just subtle signs of anxiety or hyperactivity. are they cute? yes. should we be a little worried about her? also yes. and yes, well, yelena isn't just any human. she has to go above and beyond while also being sneaky af because if she's not, kate will not let it go lmao. honestly, i think kate would 100% notice but she'd be far too excited to question yelena about it...which would probably lead to yelena actually becoming interested in the conversation.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

really for no reason other than idle speculation i’m trying to puzzle out which of the medicines/craftable items in pokemon could be used by humans.

my current verdict is potions would definitely work the exact same way on humans as on pokemon, sine their primary active ingredient is medicinal leek and that works on people (hisuian snow), revives i’m not sure about (can people use vivichokes? also what would they even do, are they like emergency first-aid?), full heals despite being topical i think you could just chug if you really wanted since it’s basically just berry juice and all berries are edible (genviii, curry making), the remedies i think you could theoretically take but you’d probably have to mix them with something first to mask the bitter taste, and then we have old gateau/jubilife muffins/twice-spiced radish/etc which are all but stated to be meant for human consumption and have pokemon benefits as a side bonus.

the one thing i’m REALLY not sure about is the exp candies, because the dialogue from the vendor that sells them definitely sounds like you’re meant to eat them, but what... what do they do?? why do pokemon get exp from them?? i would not trust them personally

[nighterwriter]

A friends to lovers with Jason Todd. Pretty please 🙏

A/N: Thank you for the ask! This seems kind of off-topic, but if you'd like, I could write a sequel. Enjoy! :)

Update: Here's the sequel

To say it was weird would be an understatement. Dick was so used to seeing Jason and you glued to the hip, doing everything together, never growing tired of each other's presence. It drove him and the rest of the family crazy because it was so fucking obvious to everyone but the two of you how much you cared for and loved each other. The two of you were too clouded by your respective insecurities to understand.

So it was weird seeing Jason without you during his trip back to Gotham. He wanted to ask, but Damian had given a small shake of his head when Dick asked, stating that the situation was so trivial, that he wanted it to come out of Jason's mouth so he could see how childish it was.

He was able to find him in the greenhouse, occupied with Alfred's latest hobby that would entice him to visit the manor more. He'd seen Jason work with the plants; he was usually meticulous and gentle, sometimes talking to them as he repotted them and separated stubborn roots from the soil. The person he was staring at, however, was a terrible substitute; soil was strewn everywhere, and broken pots lay on the table as Jason harshly repotted some monsteras.

"Alfred's not gonna be too happy." Dick ignored the sweat rolling down his neck. He was never too fond of the stifling humidity.

"I'll buy him new ones," Jason grumbled, grunting when he finally got the monstera into its pot.

"Okay, okay, put the poor plant down before I call Ivy," He sighed when the pot was placed on the table, "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

It was Jason's turn to sigh as he tugged his gloves off. "It's nothing."

"You sure?" Jason nodded. "Then where's Y/N?"

"Fine, it's something." His brother sighed again. "You remember the new museum exhibit?"

"The mythology one? I remember you said Y/N and you were supposed to go yesterday." Dick paused, his eyes widening in realization. "Jason!"

"I know, I know! Okay, I'm an ass, but Black Mask had a last-minute shipment coming in. I had to be there."

"What did you tell them?"

Jason lowered his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. "That I didn't wanna waste my time."

"Jason!"

"I panicked, okay?! They called me right when the shipment ended and I needed to get down there," He groaned, "I've been trying to call, but I'm pretty sure I've been blocked."

"What'd you expect? Hey Jason, you were an ass to me, but that's okay."

"You're not making it any better."

"Why didn't you tell them what you were actually doing?"

Jason shook his head. "No, no. I can't. I can't- if they get hurt because of me, I'll never forgive myself. I can't-"

"Jay," Dick spoke softly to soothe his brother's worries. "Y/N deserves to know. Hell, out of everyone we've brought to the manor, they're at the top of the list. You've known them for ages and you trust each other. I'll be damned if you let your friendship end because you're scared."

Jason was quiet as he thought.

"I can't lose them, Dick."

The last time Dick heard Jason so vulnerable and honest was when he told him about his mom, about what happened to her. It had been ages since he let his guard down and Dick knew it was difficult for him, but he also knew how much Y/N meant to him, even if he didn't sometimes.

"You won't," He insisted, "Y/N's stubborn, they can handle themselves. I've seen them physically and verbally hand people's asses to them. If anything, any goon who tries to hurt them will probably leave once they start cussing out their haircut."

Jason snorted. "I think they'll start with their life choices 'fore going for the looks."

"True." Dick looked at Jason with a small smile. "So, what's the plan?"

"First, figure out where they are. I called their work and they said they called off. Second, apologize endlessly until they accept. Then... then I'll tell them. And after, if they still wanna be around me, we'll go to the exhibit."

Dick clapped him on the shoulder. "Sounds like a plan. I can call them, say something about needing help finding something for my apartment."

"Alright, 007. Let me know what they say." Jason reached for the gloves again. "I have some cleaning up to do."

Dick nodded and started towards the door. Jason didn't trust easily. He said he'd learned his lesson with his mom in Ethiopia. It took Dick months, if not years, after his death to regain the sliver of trust he'd been given when Jason first came to the manor. He sees it when he interacts with Bruce and when Alfred calls him for holidays and family dinners. But there was never a moment of hesitation with you.

The two of you met on the streets when you protected Jason from being attacked by the older kids after he managed to steal some groceries from the supermarket. He disappeared and came back with a chocolate bar, which you shared in the corner of Gotham Library while you tucked into your respective groups. Since then, the two of you were inseparable. You knew everything about each other and it disturbed Bruce and Alfred the first time they met you. After Jason was adopted (you were offered the same deal, but refused), he'd swing by every minute he could, bringing you food, new clothes, small knickknacks for your hidey hole, whatever to make you more comfortable. Dick would say that in times of separation, your bond was stronger than ever. That's why he couldn't let Jason give you up. Both of you meant too much to each other.

"Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"If you trust them this much, I think it's time to tell them the truth."

And by the look on his brother's face, Dick knew he understood what he meant.

[madness-in-the-flesh]

can you write anything for Jedediah ? preferably angst .. maybe his darling tries leaves him~ it’s up to you :)

-👾

ohh shit. Here we go again. Lovely to meet you tho new anon! +)

Also for extra angst. You're married. You're welcome.

Jebediah Christoff Drabble - 'til death do us part

GENRE - Romantic

TRIGGER WARNINGS - Physical abuse, Sugar used as a pet name, implied isolation and manipulation, cheating mention ( nothing has happened related to the topic however. )

" I'm sorry Jeb... I just can't do this anymore " You spoke, voice breaking as you stared at him. Your gaze made him feel small, guilty. He hadn't been home lately for he'd been working with Hofnarr, working on the plot to take down Nexus city. It was hard work and he supposed he hadn't really been home most nights. If he was, He'd be in well into the late hours of the night. He didn't tell you anything about him and Hofnarr's plan, out of fear that you might get harmed.

" I understand your work is important but I cannot keep waiting you for every night " your voice wobbled, clearly you were on the verge of tears. You had waited months for him to get home at night, it hurt you knowing that he probably valued that work more than he valued you. After all, That's why he chose to spend nights there rather than here. You'd also rather not think of the possibility he'd been cheating on you as you hoped Jeb was better than that.

" (Y/n)... " Jebediah trailed off, Reaching for you only to take a step back, wrapping your arms around yourself as you looked away. You didn't want to see him anymore. He stared, shocked by your reaction. After all, you had never shyed away from his touch before. Always welcoming it even when you had first started dating.

" You're hardly home anymore. I'm sorry. " You were trying so hard not to cry, nibbling at your lip and swallowing whatever sobs dared to try cross them. You couldn't hold your gaze with him, only looking at your bags. Already packed and ready to go. You weren't sure where you'd go just yet but you were pretty convinced you could call a co-worker or perhaps stay at a nearby hotel.

You stared at the ring on your finger. Your gaze locking with that of your reflection. For the first time in a while, You got a good look at yourself. Everything about you looked dishevelled and dirty. Maybe that's why he wouldn't come home, you weren't a pretty face anymore. Both of you had aged and maybe, like all good things with time, faded into the past. An old picture frame that would remain on the wall, just good memories meant to be gold: Only to reveal itself of the fools variety.

You slid your ring off, only causing Jedediah's eyes to grow wide. He was taken aback as you placed it onto the table, Walking towards your bags and picking them up. You turned back, only to pause as your eyes once again met that of your husbands. You felt your whole body go cold as he gave you a dangerous glare. Clearly he was very unhappy with you. In all the time you had been with him, He'd never given you this look but something in your gut told you that it had been there all along. Somewhere in him and anxiety began to stir.

it was your turn to feel small, guilty and frightened. However you tried to pull yourself together. This was his fault after all, not yours. You had done your job as his spouse, You'd given him enough chances and clearly there were more important things to him than you.

" (Y/n). " Jedediah's voice tone shifted from one of concern to stern. He walked towards you, Which made you internally panic but you stood your ground. Swallowing your tears once again and standing up straight.

" I love you Jeb but there is only so much I can take. " You told him, almost in a last ditch effort to show that you wouldn't budge in your choice. You took a step forward, bags in both hands as you attempted to walk past him but he wouldn't be letting that happen. He grabbed you by both wrists and spun you to face him. Dropping your bags out of shock as he pinned you to the wall.

All you could do was stare into those ruby red eyes you were so familiar with but the rage caused an emotion you weren't accustomed too around Jebediah. Unfiltered, bone-chilling terror. You sunk into the wall behind you, trying to make yourself as small as possible. You really didn't want to put up with any of this anymore. You'd already struggled for months over the decision and it took a lot out of you to tell him you were leaving.

" Sorry, Sugar. but I cannot allow that. " he spoke, An air of authority dripping of every word. His accent had deepened too: Which only happened when he was extremely upset. While regularly Jeb would have a soft voice, One with hardly an accent. When he was upset to a great amount, whether he was angry or sad, His thick southern accent spurred out. You were shaking under him out of fear. Beginning to squirm. Looking around for any possible way out of this situation.

Part of you felt sick with regret, considering that both maybe you shouldn't have tried to leave him or instead, should have left a note so you didn't have to face him, maybe even nothing at all. Deep down though, you wanted him to know. He deserved to know because up until the recent months, bordering a year now, You had an ideal relationships. Sure you fought but no relationship was perfect and it hardly happened. he never hurt you and would often accommodate to you. While all of your friends had abandoned you over the years, he had been there to comfort you, to keep you company. Something you couldn't thank him enough for.

The other part of you was somewhat relieved. this... showed he cared in some aspect right? He was fighting for you to stay? Then why did this feel so wrong.

He leaned towards you and something in your brain told you to defend yourself. So with a well placed kick to the balls. You heard him groan and slipped out his grasp. You didn't dare look back, Just hurrying to grab the bags you dropped and run. Speeding down the rainy street, heaving as adrenaline coursed through your veins. You ran and didn't stop, not until you had no idea where you were... streets you didn't recognise. You didn't get out often, mostly opting to stay at home since you didn't want Jeb to worry. Maybe this was a bad idea... However, this sparked a thought. You soon came to the realization as you slowed down on a street corner that those crimson burning eyes that stared at you while he pinned you down to the wall was not the man you had married... or had it been? Was he always such a monster in disguise?

You soon came to the realization as you slowed down on a street corner that those crimson burning eyes that stared at you while he pinned you down to the wall was not the man you had married... or had it been? Was he always such a monster in disguise?

You decided that you would have to think about this more in the near future, advancing down the almost empty street. Unaware of the nearby figure who would, murming something under his breath. " 'til death do us part... " he spoke as he watched your figure vanish into the crowd. A part of him cracked, he'd done everything right yet still you wouldn't stay with him. Oh well. He had already made the vow to find you before executing his plan so he could make sure you'd be in his arms again. Until then, Jebediah would just be counting the seconds.

"Neither of us are dead yet so I'll be seeing you soon, sugar. "

[chemicalpink]

Hey!! I luv you blog. You're my favourite reader out of all on the Tumblr prediction community. I really wish if u can do a reading on what true luv means to BTS members or in other words how do they define luv.

OHHH this one seems so interesting of course I can do it love! Let us see what the cards have to say (I lowkey want to expose brat JK once again)

Also OMG that's so sweet thank you for supporting my work and loving it!!!

Disclaimer: This reading is based on my experience and knowledge of astrology, it is not meant to be the absolute truth, as BTS are real people, and tarot can only capture so much about multidimensional humans that have had past experiences and cultural approaches amongst other things, it does not have to resonate with you since this is in no way related to anyone reading it (unless you are a member of BTS in which case, get out of here lol ) This is just for entertainment purposes.

A/N: the topic is what is love for each member, so not necessarily will we be talking about romantic love on this one. It does not include lovce language necessarily either.

Seokjin

Okay, so I'll be mixing the outcomes of both oracles and tarot for this to make more sense as a whole reading. Seems like to Jin, relationships have always been fitted with some type of imbalance, whether it be aloof partners or him not being able to give as much as his partners have needed (the lovers rx) so for him, love is giving relationships a chance, going into it knowing that the relationship will need work. Inherently romantic, for him, love is being able to take the next step and commit fully, provide happiness and a sense of stability (10oC) there's also a lot of honesty involved in his perception of love, having open communication, settle things beforehand, and being able to stay true to the promises (KingoS)

Yoongi

As usual, Yoongi's readings are always explosive and there's a lot to unpack, this seems too intimate so I'll try to keep it light. My heart goes out to this man, he has healed and come a long way. So to him, love has always been about denial, about being unable to learn from past mistakes even when he sees them approaching at a fast pace (Judgemennt rx) which means that love means learning to forgive, release the past and being able to just experience more love in the present. We know Yoongi to be the type to defy status quo and whatnot but when it comes to love, he's very textbook-like in his loving, there's a longing for home, a longing for a soul more than a person and a need for spiritual love that runs so deep, this man wants a traditional love story and he might give bratty JK a run for his money on the one and only topic, he just doesn't show it as much (probably cause he has a lot of bagagge to works through but that's a whole other topic) (the hierophant). To him, love is knowing when the feelings have changed, when love has ran out and it's time to wlak away. (KnightoC rx)

Hoseok

Okay, listen, to each their own, and I personally feel Hobi on so many levels, he doesn't really have a solid definition of love, it seems like he doesn't really have it consolidated inside his head as something he's actively searching for (romantic love at least) so bear with me on this one. For one part, we've got how flirting and quick stuff is his type of thing, like some type of grounding experiences that he holds close to his heart, even tho there is not much depth to them, he just- he knows what he's got and is able to work with it real good. Cute enough, brotherly love is VERY present on the cards, he values more highly the connection he has with the members as signs of protection, loyalty, safety, and trust (KingoP) . He's very much aware that he's got things to work on before he even so much as begins to think about love as some more important part of his life (QoW rx) nonetheless, if he were to describe love in his terms, freedom would play a big part of it, which makes sense given the flirty card that came up in the beginning (PoW)

Namjoon

I am so ready to read for this guy. And I knew I had a reason to be so excited, we've got all major arcana and a need to include him to a wall of shame what's up with these men trying to battle JK. Seems like Joon has had to make adjustments in regards of his love life, which starts adaptability as a must for him in regards of what love means, which unfortunately not many of his relationships have had enough of for him to really feel like it was the love he defines as (the tower rx) Patience and diligence is a big thing on his definition of love, being able to venture and have doors opening for him, having people be patient with him as he slowly but surely gets it inside his head that he is deserving of the love he's being given (temperance) Listen- there's a soulmate card here, some part of him has come to believe that there's really a soul plan for his love life, one that apparently he's beginning to remember and search for, one that he believes with love he will feel complete. (the world)

Jimin

My sweet little Libra man. I have a rough idea of how this reading will go but let us see. Okay, so it looks like Jimin is one hell of a man that has come a long way in terms of his definition of love. He's been kind of letting go of his own precepts on the matter and has begun to trust where he's led in the matter, although seems like this growth has been nothing short on painful and from past experiences (6oS) He's obviously got a lot more to learn and we can't really assure that the next lessons won't be painful but as he is right now, he's come to absolutely treasure the good and sweet moments he's got with the people he cares, as short as they are (the hermit rx) Of course we couldn't miss on him being a truly romantic and very idealistic on the matter in true Libra fashion and we love that for him, especially when all of this is paired up with being able to free himself and take back control of the way that he himself wants to define love as in his life.

Taehyung

Oh god, I'm scared for this one. There is... a lot to unpack here, as in- when it comes to defining love, Tae has his own particular way of doing so. Then again, there seems to be a lot of traditional intakes on his definition of love, commitment being the first and foremost of them, being so sure about yourself that you want to take the next step in a relationship, that is mainly what love means to him (10oC) Even more os to an extent of integrating as one, finishing each other sentences type of way, may I even point out a friends to lovers type of thing. Yeah this man's definition of love is family, whether it is love within the members and himself, he values so much the way that they feel like family, in romantic terms, it would be his s/o being the one to bear his children (the empress) this idea of love he has also seemed very much rooted on himself, and it seems to me like its something that he refuses to let go of, even if he would have to fight for it or move mountains in order to get it (death rx)

Jungkook

WE'RE HERE. The star of the show, istg Jeon Jungkook if you make me look like a clown on this one I'll fight you. For a second there the cards refused to come out until they exploded. OKAY let's see. We've also got different types of love on this one. For one part, we've got his insight on romantic love, which to him, it's about being separated yet staying optimistic about it, while knowing there's a higher power behind the love story he longs for. Somehow he has yet to work on the part where he truly feels deserving of said love journey, also taking each new opportunity that he has within reach to prove to himself that he's worthy of the love he dreams about (aceoP) And yep it does follow the same line, there's a lot of daydreaming involved in his definition of love, of being faced with a lot of choices and a search of purpose that he has become to nurture more as of lately (7oC) On the other hand, his definition of love also includes a lot of motherly and fatherly love, along with brotherly love, seeing it as something more palpable and closer to him than what he feels romantic love is. A deep love that gets him through life. (the emperor)

Decks Used: The Romance Angels Oracle, The Starseed Oracle, The Prisma Visions Tarot

[jaedreaminn]

On The Bridge

Summary

The water under the bridge was luring but no as much as the boy on the bridge.

Or maybe you were just convincing yourself you liked the water because you hadn't met the boy yet...

Pairings: Renjun x fem!reader

Characters: Renjun, Doyoung «mentioned» Chenle, Taeyong.

About: Angst, recovery, comfort, semicolon, light humour, sad, Bitter-Sweet, open ending.

Word Count: 4.6k

WARNINGS

Mentions of suicide! Attempt at suicide! (Nothing graphic) Read with caution it gets heavy.

Toxic family relations.

Mentioned bullying.

Reader suffers from depression.

You sat on the thick railing of the bridge, legs dangling high above the moon lit waters. It was truly a beautiful and calming site, so peaceful and pure, the complete opposite of your thoughts.

Up on this bridge you were lost in a trance, trapped in a void of your own thoughts that were empty but at the same time raging.

You failed to notice a presence besides you so you were quite startled when a voice spoke asking you, "Why are you here?"

You blinked once at the pretty who sat next to you before calmly answering him, "To watch the water."

"You're not here to....umm..."

"Join the water?" You asked a small teasing smile creeping on you face and the boy seemed to curl into himself.

"Y-yea that" he stuttered.

"Yea I'm here to join the water." You said and he frowned, "But not today. I'll do that the moment my birthday ends" you said with a smile and he looked at you in awe.

"Leave this world a day after I arrived, won't that be cool?" You asked and he hesitated before nodding.

"It would be cool..." He said slowly sitting up straight.

"So you're here to jump too?" You asked, your words too bold and unfiltered for him.

"Oh- umm I, Y-yea" he stuttered, panicking and you smiled softly again.

"I don't think you will. You seem too cowardly to actually jump...I mean you couldn't even properly ask me if I was going to jump" you said with a shrug while the boy with blond hair (you just noticed) slowly calmed down.

"I am." He said with a small nod, "But I wasn't always scared it's just...." He trailed, biting his lip not sure whether to tell you or not.

"Just what?" you asked eyes innocently curiously, he held his breath for a minute contemplating whether to tell you or not and then sighed, "I used to sneak out and come here every night but every time my younger brother would know I was gone and would always follow me here" he said eyes glistening and you felt entrapped in his sullen gaze.

"And we'd sit here on this bridge every night talking about anything and everything. He was bubbly and carefree but always held onto my hand tightly as if he knew I would jump if he let go. But I could never tell if he knew or not because the only thing that was bluntly visible on his face was his million dollar smile." the boy said with a small twinkle in his eye.

"Where is he now?" You asked and a sad smile made its way to the boy’s soft features.

"He's shining as the brightest star in the sky" he replied, pointing up at no particular star.

"He was sick. Born a sick child, I always knew he was going to go early." the boy said and you felt sorry for him, the way he smiled sadly to himself holding the weight of losing a loved on his lean shoulders.

"I'm so"

"No don't say sorry, he lived a good life" he cut you off and for a few minutes the two of you just sat on the bridge silently, two broken souls.

"What's your name?" You finally asked and he looked hesitant before he spoke, "Huang Renjun"

"Hi Renjun I'm Kim y/n" you said offering him a smile with an enthusiastic wave.

"Hi y/n" he said with a small laugh at your gesture, which he found cute.

"So why do you still come here Renjun?" You asked and Renjun stilled, breathing slowly he spoke "I want to jump. I can't handle life anymore but every time it feels like someone's holding onto my arm..." He trailed off and you felt your heart sink, he lived only because of the memory of his brother.

"Why are you here y/n?" He asked, changing the topic.

"Me? Well...I recently shifted here with my parents. My brother stayed back but it's not like he lived with us. I hated my old school and my entire experience there. It scared me to the point I have an anxiety attack at the thought of going to any school so I'm being home schooled now. Home school isn't better though considering I'm stuck at home with the constant yelling. I'm invisible now almost as if I was never supposed to exist so that's what I'm here to do. To not exist." you said in one go biting your lip nervously at the thought of over sharing but Renjun smiled at you and you felt your nervous heartbeat calm down. You also noticed that he really was a beautiful boy because one small smile on his face looked so captivating to you.

"That's sad... I wish you didn't feel that way" he said earnestly and you felt something close to genuine happiness at that statement for a brief second.

"And I wish I was never born...it's not fair to me" you said with a sigh eyes fixed on the water again. Jumping into it and being lost in its current seemed like the most peaceful and joyful thing in the world to you. The coldness of the water and the darkness of the night wrapped around you like a blanket as you finally let go. It sounded perfect.

"What if you find a reason to live?" Renjun asked interrupting your thoughts and you frowned. There wasn't a reason, there never was going to be and even if there was one reason to live there were thousand other reasons to leave.

"What was your brother's name?" You asked changing the topic. Renjun smiled and simply answered, "Zhong Chenle" without prying any further.

And so you two bonded talking about anything and everything or nothing at all. And every night, like routine you went to the bridge and he was there. And that's how you made your first and probably your last friend.

It was on one of the more cheerful nights when Renjun was animatedly telling you about his baby brothers dolphin laugh and about how contagious it was that it had delayed his cake cutting by fifteen minutes because he couldn't stop laughing that you told Renjun when your birthday was.

"In two weeks!" Renjun exclaimed shocked, a frown plastered on his face.

"Yes in two weeks" you repeated with a small giggle at how cute his flustered self looked.

"But that's so soon" he subconsciously pouted rather cutely.

"Want to join me?" You asked even though you knew his answer.

"I would if I wasn't a coward" Renjun said with a frown and held your hand. "I'll miss you"

"At least someone will" you said with a dead laugh and Renjun frowned, for some reason he was convinced people knew you existed. And maybe they knew but if you didn't want to live it was your choice not theirs.

"My brother's in town and we used to be so close now it's only awkward small talk as if he hates talking to me" you said with a sarcastic laugh but it only sounded like a strangled cry and Renjun put a comforting hand on your shoulder not saying anything.

"And my parents...well they don't talk they yell" you scoffed, "They probably haven't even noticed I live with them by how occupied they are trying to hurt each other"

"And I never had any friends and I wouldn't call the people at my old school my friends...ever. They broke me and said that's just how they are or that I'm being dramatic. It was always just me. I'm always stuck outside as if I was never meant to be and maybe I'm not..." You said a sob escaping your lips after your outed your demons and Renjuns heart broke as he pulled you towards him and hugged you as you silently sniffed.

"Don’t worry you won't go alone, I'll come and say goodbye to you" he whispered in your ear and a small smile made its way to your face, glad that he understood you.

"I'd try to stop you but I know it's stupid to try to stop you when I myself want to jump so bad" he said as he tightened his hold around you and you lay your head on his chest. Renjun wasn't cold like the waters were but being in his embrace still brought you peace.

"How come you're waiting till after your birthday?" He asked you and a small smile made its way to your face, finally a question you wanted to answer. "Because that's the one day the yelling stops and everyone pretends like everything is fine and the one day they notice me. It's the one day I'm everyone's favourite and I want their last memory of me to be a happy one" you said, recollecting those rare happy memories as you listened to Renjuns heartbeat.

"I'll send you away happy too so you'd have one last happy memory too" he said resting his head on yours.

He was so warm but you didn't hate it as much as you did and suddenly the water looked too cold.

And so two weeks started to go by and your nights with Renjun got weirder and weirder, he would either be really talkative or extremely quiet. And not the comfortable quite you were used to, not when everything about his quite presence screamed THINKING LOUDLY. But it didn't bother you for too long.

The day of your birthday went as you predicted. Everyone was smiling and suddenly you were the center of everyone's attention. With fake smiles and happiness and peace that wouldn't last. At least their last memory of you was you smiling right? Maybe they won't feel guilty for too long because you were never supposed to exist. But at the same time you wanted them to hurt the way you did, to regret not being able to save you.

The day went by cheerful and night came, you kissed your parents good night and hugged your brother properly for the first time after he returned. You were pretty sure you shocked him a bit but it was your last good bye. You needed it. He was the one you cared for the most in your family.

Once night fell and you were sure everyone was too tired to care you creeped out towards the bridge walking there quickly in anticipation of Renjuns good bye so you frowned when you realised he wasn't there.

You looked at your phone, 11:45.

He still had fifteen minutes to arrive maybe he'd say goodbye to you then.

But it was soon 11:59 and no one had come onto the bridge other than a stray cat.

You frowned looking at the screen on your phone as tears made its way to your eyes, you were always meant to be die unnoticed and alone.

The numbers on the clock changed from 11:59 to 12:00 and you placed it down on the railing next to you as you leaned over to look at the water.

Stupid Renjun, his warmth made the cold water which you loved before seem too cold. But at least it was dark.

You placed your arms on both sides of the railings and gave yourself a slight push ready to slip and fall off but just then a hand clasped onto your arm and you turned around to look at a red faced Renjun.

"M-my brother used to...” he panted, out of breath and you looked at his pleading eyes worried. “He used to hold onto me and now I'm going to hold onto you" he said, breathing heavily from his run here.

"B-but you said you understood" you yelled anger bubbling inside of you, a frown making its way to your face, how could he stop you just because he was scared.

"I didn't understand two shits." He said sternly, standing up straight. "At first you inspired me and I thought that I'd finally have to courage to jump if I do it with you but then I didn't want to see you go....I already saw Chenle go without being able to do anything for my baby brother who wanted to live and here I was letting you go and thinking of taking my life, a life which Chenle could have never had. What an insult it would have been to his death if his brother who wasn't forced to die took his own life after his baby brother fought so much to live? And you! How could I just sit by and watch you take your life" he yelled as tears threatened to fall.

"So I decided not to come today but I care too much to not show up. So the only thing I can do right now is hold onto your arm to make sure you won't jump while talking about anything and everything until you forget about wanting to jump. Just like Chenle did for me." Renjun said hurriedly and desperately, face turning red and fresh tears falling out of his shining, determined eyes and you felt your heart sink as realisation of how real this situation was. His goal was to talk to you until you forgot why you were here but you just couldn't.

"B-but" you started to reason and Renjun shook his head. "No I'm holding onto you" he said, red eyes shining with a passion to keep you alive and you almost felt touched. Almost. This was supposed to be your escape but now one small boy with the voice of an angle has got you questioning everything? His eyes pleaded with you and he rambled about something that fell deaf to your ears as you glanced at the waters. It looked too cold and suddenly death seemed a bit scarier than before.

You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath and you let yourself die away in the darkness. As you pressed each emotion you felt way under an invisible weight of the darkness that comforted you, that excited you, that promised you eternal peace. Maybe the water was too cold but the darkness was pulling you in and all it would take was one little push to let it consume you.

But the darkness was snatched away from you as a sudden bright light blinded your vision, it was someone's torch from their phone but you couldn't see who was holding it and neither could Renjun as he squinted trying to not look directly into the light.

"Y/n?" A voice called out and your eyes widened, in recognition.

"D-Doyoung?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" he yelled pocketing his phone and running to you, yanking you off the railing and onto the pavement of the bridge.

"Are you mad? Why would you do that! What would I do if I lost you? How could you just think of leaving like that!" He yelled at you, tears shamelessly falling out of his eyes. You noticed he looked defeated but you didn't understand why.

"I-I’m sorry" you mumbled feeling obligated to apologise, looking away biting onto you lip hard, more embarrassed than scared that he caught you.

What you didn't know Doyoung’s mind was a whirlwind of regrets and flashbacks. Of hatred for himself for not noticing sooner for not coming to your aid sooner.

For how noisy his mind was to you it was silent. Too silent. He didn't say anything and now you were scared. Scared of what would happen, scared because no matter how much you tried to predict the outcome your mind remained blank.

"Ohhh what would I do if I lost you" he finally said breaking the silence and holding onto you so tight you were surprised none of your bones broke.

"I'm sorry." He broke into a sob, "I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner. I'm sorry I didn't take you away from there with me, I'm sorry I didn’t protect you at school. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more. But please don't do this y/n" he pleaded with a broken hopeless voice holding onto you tighter, "You're my baby sister and I won't be able to live with myself if I lost you" he sobbed into your hair holding you close to him and for the first time you felt fear, fear of what would happen if you left Doyoung behind.

"I should have protected you and should have just taken you with me not waited until I could prove to our parents I had money oh god" he continued to cry and it hurt your heart, how could you forget your brother's promise to take you away and protect you and how could you forget your promise to love with him. Live with him. You couldn't hold back either, clinging onto him for life as you cried. All the pain inside you finally breaking lose as you sobbed and sobbed in your brother's arms. And suddenly all the emotions that the darkness hid were out in the open and you felt every emotion all at once and it wasn't a burden like you expected but instead freeing.

The pain from the constant bullying, the neglect, having to deal with your parents fighting and then your brother moving out. You were alone and scared and all the emotions you bottled up came pouring out all at once. You felt faint and light headed but you couldn't stop crying your soul out.

You weren't brave but a coward just leaving without really putting up a fight. You felt yourself shift as Doyoung who had stopped crying slowly sat down with you still held tightly in his arms.

You sat on the cold road, head rested on your brother's chest as you listened to his heartbeat and he caressed you head as your sobs slowly died down. You were tired and might have fallen asleep there if it wasn't for your brother's cold voice startling you back into consciousness.

"Who are you?" your brother's asked tone so cold you would have been scared to be on the receiving end of it and that's when you realised- Renjun!

"Oh I'm her.... Friend?" Renjun questioned more than answered and you smiled at the flustered boy as your brother's eyes critically scanned him.

"He's Renjun" you said pulling away from your brother's embrace deciding to end the trembling boys suffering, "He was brave enough to not join me and even braver to stop me" you said smiling at the said brave boy (who was currently trembling under Doyoungs gaze). Doyoung gave Renjun a curt nod and got up to thank him.

You tried your best to hold in your laughter as you watched them awkwardly shake hands. It was definitely a start of a very awkward relationship.

...

You blinked your eyes open, your head was killing you and you felt like you woke up from a drug induced dream. Last night was all messed up for you and you weren't sure if it was real.

You lay there on your bed feeling drained to the core and empty inside. You felt awful. Like you shouldn't have woken up today morning, yet some part of you was secretly glad.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Doyoung who barged into you room and opened your curtains filling the room with bright light, you squinted, your eyes hurting at the sudden surplus of light but for the first time you were glad it was bright rather than dark as you saw your brother standing against the light, smiling at you.

"Get dressed Renjun should be here soon" he said and marched out of your room before you could react. You forced yourself to sit up, brain still not processing a word he had said.

It was a challenge getting ready, especially since all you wanted to do today was lay in bed but you got ready and walked to the kitchen where Doyoung placed a fresh plate of pancakes in front of you.

You smiled at him, sitting yourself down and digging into your breakfast when you stopped and realised how quite it was

"Ummm Doyoung where are..." You started to ask but Doyoung cut you off, "It's like you forgot last night." He scoffed but there was a very obvious smile on his face as if he was happy. You couldn't understand why he was so happy when all you felt was empty and awful after last night.

"They have gone for couples counselling but honestly I think it'll end in a divorce" Doyoung said it so casually that you sat there with your fork hovering in front of your mouth shocked. "Don’t be so surprised. I know it sucks but I'm old enough to take care of you and I'm taking you away with me this time. Let them sort out their own problems and don’t you dare blame yourself for their failed marriage okay." He said sternly walking towards you and feeding you the pancake himself since you just sat there frozen. "And I know they're kind of messed up but they do love us and they have taken care of us, maybe not emotionally but in...other ways" he said placing a hand on your head and you nodded, dumbfounded. You wanted to say something but didn't know what to say or ask so you just sat there watching him, confused. He smiled at that. Everything was happening so quickly it was still taking you time to process it especially after last nights... whirlwind of emotions.

"You can be mad at them y/n. You can be mad at me. You can be mad at whoever okay. Feel things again." He said placing a soft kiss on your forehead as he walked to answer the door.

When did the doorbell ring?

"Oh Renjun you're here!" You heard him happily exclaim and walk back into the kitchen, followed by a shy Renjun. You looked at Renjun confused but he only gave you a shy smile.

"What's going on?" You asked after you swallowed the food that was in your mouth.

"I'm taking you two for therapy" he said so casually as if he didn't forget to mention that to you and by the looks of it he forgot to tell Renjun too.

"But my parents..."

"Renjun I spoke to them and they agreed to it" Doyoung said interrupting Renjun who seemed to have trouble believing Doyoung as he looked at him accusingly.

"Okay I fought with them and they agreed. Plus they can't stop me all the way from China if you consent to this can they?" Doyoung asked with a smug grin and Renjun looked at him in disbelief.

"What why?" You asked still confused "when did all this happen?"

"I got it all arranged last night." Doyoung casually said again as if he didn't forget to tell the two of you all of this and turned to Renjun, "Would you like some pancakes too?"

Renjun flushed in embarrassment at Doyoungs gaze and you frowned.

"But why are you suddenly so invested in all this" you asked, your tone sounding colder than you intended it to be. You regretted your words when you saw hurt flash through Doyoung’s eyes for a second.

Doyoung’s gave you a wary smile before he spoke, "When I left three years ago I wasn't in a good place. But I met good people and I got help. The three years I avoided coming home was because I took that time to heal. And I feel selfish for leaving you but I hope you'll one day understand that I needed to be stronger to take care of you. So that's what I'm doing now."

"Why are you taking me too then?" Renjun asked, eyes downcast, looking disappointed. What you didn't know was that he was disappointed. Someone else was going to take the burden of taking care of him and he didn't like that. He didn't like being a burden. He burdened his parents so much that they left him and now the same thing was going to happen with the only nice people he knew. He was beyond disappointed.

"Because you need help. I have a friend in uni, his name is Lee Taeyong." A small smile made its way to Doyoung’s face, "He helped me out in ways no one else would. He took care of me and he made sure I was okay, he genuinely cared for me even though I wasn't very nice to him. At first I found him annoying but now he's one of the most important people in my life and I don't think I would ever be able to live without him, don't tell him that though. But the thing is he came to me and helped me I didn't go to him, so now I'm going to help you no matter how much you feel like you don't deserve it Renjun. No matter how annoying you think I am." Doyoung said, stubbornness shining in his eyes and Renjun stood there shocked and taken back.

"I also knew your brother" Doyoung said shocking Renjun for the second time in the past five minutes, "He was a child prodigy at SM University, musical talents unlike any other, he was so young and so week but so jovial. His parents loomed over him taking praises given to the kid as their own but that young boy couldn't care less about them. The only thing he would talk about was his brother waiting at home for him, his brother that took care of him, who played with him, who protected him from the monsters in the closet. He spoke about his brother that held his hand when his heart hurt. He spoke about how when he was sick the medicines could never put him to sleep the way his brothers voice would." Tears made their way to Renjuns eyes as memories of everything Doyoung had mentioned came flooding into his mind but he held them back, too stubborn to let them fall.

"Every time he came he would tell us about how handsome his brother was and how talented his brother was. He would brag about how he wanted to spend his whole life being this faceless boys little brother." Renjun sniffed, roughly wiping away his tears before they could leave his eyes as he looked at Doyoung who continued to speak. "I owe it to him, a small kid that really gave me a different view and perspective on life to take care of this amazing brother" Doyoung finished speaking and Renjun broke into a sob, turning away and hiding his face. You got up from where you were seated and walked to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind, hugging him. Your heart broke every time he shook because of a sob. And that's when you knew, you knew you didn't want to continue like this. This beautiful boy deserved a happy life and so did you. You may feel like shit right now but you were going to change that and you were going to help the blond headed boy who stopped you from taking your life genuinely smile too.

"It's going to be a long journey and I know the two of you feel like it would never get better but it will. And I'll be there for the both of you during that time" Doyoung said sincerely and you looked at Renjun who looked at you through teary but hopeful eyes. You brought your hand up to Renjuns face, wiping a tear away as you felt his fingers interlock with your free hand and smiled. He smiled back at you, eyes still shining with fresh tears and you looked at Doyoung who stood at the side with an unreadable expression (but you could make out the hint of pride on his face) and you gave him a single, sharp nod. "We're going to get better." You looked at Renjun, "We're going to move forward"

"We'll take baby steps"

This is the first time I've written something so heavy so feedback would really be appreciated.

Let me know about your thoughts on this story.

It took a long while to come to a final story line/plot and even longer for me to want to post this.

[curiousconch]

Chase You/Chase Me (Pt. 4)

Part 4: The truth will never lie to me

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: Trapped in a conference, Gabe and Alex bask in the afterglow of their interrupted moment by the lake. But before Alex can fully comprehend how she felt, she unravels a truth that may cease the chase altogether.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 1.8k+

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / alcohol consumption, language, implied sexual content. Reader discretion advised.

Author's Notes: Surprise! Yep, it's an early release! I made revisions to fit the ongoing narrative and ended up breaking it down into two parts. Also, this series may span longer than I originally intended it to be, not wanting to rush things. It will probably extend until Part 7, depending on what happens at the finale. I do hope you'll still stick around. If not, I'll totally understand. 😉

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

Late night, Boston

Shoe laces, cool wind and the darkness of the forest enveloping them. His breath shuddering with how close her lips was. His throat running dry.

Wanting, longing.

Just a little taste to find out how intoxicatingly delicious those cherry lips would be in his mouth and to feel the heat of her body against his.

And then a splash.

Gabe blinked as he felt ice cold liquid pouring over his crisp white shirt. He wasn't sure if he was having déjà vu.

"Oh, sorry mate," a man standing nearby had bumped into him, making the glass of scotch he was drinking shake and spill into his impeccable suit. He forced down the tasteless curse words forming in his mouth, groaning in frustration at the dissipating sensations from what he had been imagining.

His mind was stuck in an endless loop, replaying the romantic encounter with Alex just the night before. But very much like after Beau's dive into the lake, his consciousness whipped achingly back to reality.

Gabe was leaning on the mobile bar, set in the middle of the conference reception. Did he just lose himself in a daydream like a fool? He wondered, murmuring through his madness.

The time alone with her provided him a glimpse of what could be between them. And oh how euphoric it had been to have her so near, to watch his body respond to her like no other.

It left him just craving for more.

He was lying to himself if he continued to deny that he has feelings for Alex, and how deep he was already in for her. But he knew it wasn't meant to be, at least until after he admits the truth. Until then, he had to pull away.

Easier said than done.

For now, he settled for a view of her, his eyes scoured the room for the subject of his fancy. When he found her, Gabe couldn't stop his smile and the fluttering of his heart, or the warmth growing between his legs.

There she was, in the far side of the room, shining brighter than any star that they had seen in the night sky. Her audience completely captivated as he was with her.

The sight of her in that blue dress swept Gabe back into his fantasies, and how infuriatingly near he was to giving into them. He had to clench his fist around his tumbler, suppressing any trace of his earlier wild thoughts.

Apparently sensing the weight of his gaze, Alex turned to him, their eyes meeting in silent conversation. He watched as she excused herself before making her way towards where he sat.

Half-smiling, Alex's confident expression as she approached him made him swallow hard.

Gabe summoned all his willpower to rein himself in as she got closer. He plastered his usual cocky smile, once again putting up a wall of professionalism. They were in a conference, he reasoned.

"Still watching your wards, old man?" Alex chuckled as she reached a seat beside him.

"Working the room like a pro like that? Very hard to ignore," Gabe interjected, shaking his head. "Had to say Alex, I'm impressed."

"Glad you noticed," she smiled, clearly enjoying the compliment.

"Frankly, you charming the top tier lawyers were hard to miss," he said, with lips quirking into a grin.

"Were you watching the whole time?" she asked.

"Difficult not to, seeing how you're the best-dressed lawyer in the room," he continued, savoring the easy conversation.

She scoffed before turning around, grabbing a napkin from a bartender. Alex offered it to him, pointing at the light stain on his clothes.

He finally muttered a curse, realizing he had been too distracted not to notice the result of the spillage from his own drink. This was one of my best suits.

Gabe almost jumped when Alex started to wipe the front of his suit.

His eyes narrowed, unable to process what was happening. On impulse, he reached out to her, encircling his palms around her wrist. Alex snapped her head up at the touch, the intensity of her gaze enchanting him.

It took all of his strength to break free from it. He cleared his throat and looked away, before grabbing the napkin from her grasp without warning.

It had always been like this. At first, there was this fluidity, a natural attraction between them while they interacted. Then another goddamn minute passes and it all becomes downright complicated.

Gabe wasn't having it.

He briefly shut his eyes closed and released the breath he was holding. When he opened them, he focused his attention on wiping the stain from his jacket, avoiding Alex's questioning gaze. He decided to divert the conversation, robbing her of any opportunity to re-capture him in a trance.

"Don't worry, I don't judge potential partners solely on congeniality. Though I can't speak for Sadie." He then turned and discarded the cloth on the bar. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to speak to a friend who I'm sure will be thrilled to know I'm now a partner."

He finally dared to look at Alex with almost apologetic eyes, before swiftly walking away towards a sea of unfamiliar faces.

Alex was left gaping at his hasty departure, uncertain how it all went south so quickly. She wanted to grab his arm and pull him to her so badly, to pick things up from where they left off last night. From that moment when his lips was inches away from taking hers, before they were interrupted.

Her body ached to be near him. Then again, that's not how she usually operates, so she let him be.

She had never thought her idol was such a tease. Or perhaps, traditional? Alex snickered. Oh how I'll make you beg, Gabriel Ricci. She exhaled, the sultry thought of the man on his knees in front of her suddenly hiking up the temperature in the room. Alex had to fan herself to cool down.

Along with the idea of finally spending some alone time together, conjuring the image of waking up beside Gabe excited her. Well, if ever this chase between them actually culminates to something.

But why was she following this trail of thought? In all her conquests, she had never stayed for what came after. She had that with Julian, and look how that ended. For her, it was always just for the fun. So why does she suddenly liked the notion with Gabe? She shuddered. Ugh, weird.

Maybe it's because it's taking the long game with him? Alex didn't want to know.

Leaving that for now, she resorted to ordering another shot of patron to drown the remnants of her heated thoughts. On her third glass, Alex heard a familiar voice ordering a shot of bourbon. She swiveled towards it and caught sight of Lina Reyes, the opposing lawyer from the Willow case.

"Fancy meeting you here," Alex smiled lazily, remembering how temptingly attractive she was. She also recalled the offer of a hook-up, which she politely declined out of courtesy.

But now, seems like she's getting another chance. And with Gabe being annoyingly hard to get, Alex had to have fun somewhere else. It's not like she and Gabe was committed, right?

Lina scooted closer to her, smelling of a heady mix of alcohol. "Speaking of fancy, damn. You look more incredible than I can remember, Alex," she teased, provocatively arching her brows at her.

Alex quickly picked up Lina's attempt to flirt, stoking her bruised ego. "Gotta be dressed to impress, right?" she waved her fingers as if in curtsy. "Enjoying the conference?"

"At this point, things tend to devolve quickly. But I do plan to have a nightcap back in my room," Lina smirked, Alex feeling the heel of velvet pumps brushing along her bare leg. "Maybe you could join me?"

The woman wasn't exactly subtle, though Alex had to give props to her for her confidence. She liked that in anyone. So Alex returned the gesture, letting her fingers hover an inch over her arm while batting her eyelashes. Two can play that game.

"I think we should stay here."

Wait, what? Did she just say no? Subconsciously? Did hell just freeze over? Or did her brain left her head?

Both women blinked, unable to determine who's more mortified between them. They were both quiet, until Lina broke the awkwardness by a chuckle.

"Had to try, didn't expect I'd be turned down twice," she said consuming the rest of her drink in one gulp. "Worth it though." she shrugged, ordering another round for herself.

Alex struggled to compose herself, brows furrowed in confusion by how that went down.

"Oh don't be so bothered, you're not my first rodeo." Lina poked at her jokingly, clearing up the air. Alex thanked her, and the conversation went smoothly from there.

Several more drinks in, the two women chatted on, venturing into a variety of topics in law and in love. It didn't take long before Lina started to slur in her words, to which Alex found amusing.

"Looks like someone didn't pace herself," she observed as she sipped her cocktail.

"Ah don't mind me, had to cleanse my palate after all the boring sessions earlier," Lina toasted her glass on hers, wobbling as she shifted to face her. "We are a rare breed, us fighters," she leaned towards Alex, lowering her voice to a whisper. "We like-minded women should just stick together, you know?"

Alex was relieved she turned her down the second time. Barely listening to her, she started to drift off as Lina continued rambling on, turning around to face the crowds as her eyes tried to locate that handsome man. Alex smirked when she found Gabe's sexy outline.

"Lot of ungrateful dipshits being freed from prison, even after we work our asses off proving they deserved an earlier release. Khan, Kozlowski, those celebrities involved with the Ivy League admission scandal? Hell, even small town criminal Cornell was released in the last five years alone!"

And with that last statement, Alex froze. "Say that again?"

Confused, Lina stuttered as if she can't remember what she was saying. To Alex's annoyance, she went silent, apparent that more humiliation was on the way. Lina abruptly stood, covering her mouth with her hand as she sprinted to the bathroom. Alex let her pass.

Assured that she'll be fine with her colleagues flanking her, Alex started to obsess over Lina's last sentence.

Was that just the patron? Or am I getting too drunk and starting to hear things? She asked herself, bewildered at how randomly Lina mentioned a Cornell.

With an exasperated sigh, she decided it wouldn't hurt to check. She pulled out her phone from her purse and fired up a search engine, where she typed in the godforsaken name. Alex tapped enter.

As soon as the results loaded, she felt the world crumble beneath her.

No, no, no, no, no. This fucking didn't happen.

She clicked on one of the articles from a local news outlet. The picture beneath the headline shoving her nightmares front and center. There it was, the title written in bold stated loud and clear: Cornell Son Gets Early Release.

Alex bit her lip as she fought to gather herself together, speed reading through the article. This was definitely a surprise, but what really got her reeling was the figure of a man walking behind Maximilian. She'd pick up who that was from anywhere within a mile radius.

Alex tried to keep herself rational, but the shock rippled through her, enough to shake off the alcohol in her system. And why did her stomach churned like she was punched in the gut a hundred times over? Why did she felt fucking betrayed?

Unexpectedly, she knew it wasn't discovering Cornell was now walking freely in the streets.

Deep down, Alex was aware it was because Gabe Ricci was involved. Either way, it looks like her high and mighty boss has some explaining to do.

Her blood boiled, a myriad of questions went through her mind. Resolute, she wanted those damn questions answered. Tonight.

She downed her drink and slammed the empty glass on the bar, sending a text to draw Gabe's attention.

She looked over where he stood, watching the frown in his face as he read her message. She clicked her head, beckoning him outside.

Even he can't fathom the fire storm that was about to come his way.

Author's Notes 2: Thank you for your continued reading! 💖 How do you think things will go down next? Let me see your reactions on your comments and reblogs!

Tag list: @adiehardfan @pixelnutrookie @starryjieun @latinagiraffe @sarcastic01lily @spookycolorpeanut @ophrookie @suitfer @thegreentwin @mkatschoicesblog @made-of-roses @lillijill

@choicesficwriterscreations

[annie-mit-ie]

Glimpses: Part 13 (Kathryn Hahn x Fem!Reader)

Part 1 // previous chapter <<< >>> next chapter

Summary: Just a casual catch-up.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I don't even know what's happening with Kathryn anymore. Guess it's all going "downhill" from here. Don't get mad! It'll be better soon, I promise! ;)

Tag List: @danvers97 @zafirosreverie @srtamercurio @wanatag @pulledbythestars17 @plantowl @spacehahn

Playlist! :)

_____________________________________________________________________________

A couple days pass before you get another sign of life from Kathryn. It's the weekend again and you are lying on your bed, looking up at the ceiling. Alex is talking away on FaceTime, currently ranting about something that happened at her workplace earlier this week. She always does that, lets people walk over her and then complains about it to you.

You are just about to sit up and shut her down to make her stand up for herself more as a mail comes in. For a moment, you are confused, as you have never read the mail address it is coming from before. Still, you immediately open it to read through, a move that doesn't go unnoticed by Alex, who has stopped talking by now. 

"What is it?" She asks, looking rather concerned.

You are unsure what to say and talk as you read the mail. "Hmmmmmm, OH. Oh it's from Kathryn! Oh this took me way too long. But, you know, if all those "a prince from god knows where wants to send you money"-mails I wasn't sure what to expect." Both of you laugh as you read on.

Just as always, Alex is the perfect example of a nosy neighbor. "What does it saaaay? Don't keep me in the dark, ma'am!", she says and grins into the camera. Nearly done reading, you look up and shoot her an annoyed look. As a joke, obviously, but really, Alex needs to calm down sometimes. You reread the mail and prepare to summarize it for the both of you.

Essentially, Kathryn is simply talking about how she had broken her phone on the way to Europe as they made their way through the airport and spent a couple days hunting down your e-mail address to reach out to you again. She doesn't have a new phone just yet, because she took it as a chance to dive into the script and prepare for the shooting, but feels like it's about time she updates and checks in on you. Furthermore, to really focus on the movie, she decided to not cope the numbers from her old phone just now. Instead, she got a completely new, empty phone and only handed out her number to a handful of people, so she can really be one with the project.

It takes a while for you to understand that this means you are special to her and she chose you out of (probably) a lot of people to stay in contact with. If it wasn't for Alex, you would probably fall into a hole now and over analyze if this means more or not, but she interrupts your train of thought, as always.

"Isn't that just SO Kathryn? Like, I can totally see her sitting there, choosing not to have a phone so she can read her scripts in peace and become her character. That's how passionate she is, ugh, I love her."

Usually, you would agree and say you love her, too, but as of lately you can't bring yourself to say these words out loud anymore, since they feel way too intimate considering the relationship you have formed with Kathryn over the last couple of weeks. So, instead of saying anything, you simply nod and read the mail again before typing the number she provided you with into your phone.

A part of you is very happy about the mail and Kathryn's update, but you have to admit that there is also a part of you that wishes she would've said something about missing you. You miss her,  mentally and physically. You miss her touch and her warmth and, thinking about it for a little too long, you miss what kissing her lips feels like. And you miss how her hair feels on your skin as she bends over you. If you're being honest, you simply miss everything about her.

Alex seems to sense your thoughts and breaks the silence. "You miss her, don't you?"

You don't want to think about it any deeper as you can feel some tears forming in the corners of your eyes. Instead, you just nod as you bite the inside of your lower lip, holding them back.

"You know, Y/N. You should tell her. I am really sure she misses you, too. Like, in THAT way. If you tell me everything that happens between the two of you at all times, then I'm pretty sure she is in love with you, too, you know?" "I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HER!", you suddenly jump and get way louder than you meant to be. Or are you? Hell, you don't even know anymore. Fact is, Kathryn is gone and won't be back for a while and there is no way for you to change that and that is why you shouldn't dwell into those feelings because after all you'll just get hurt anyway.

You decide to shoot a quick message to the number Kathryn provided you with and let her know you read the mail and hope she is doing alright. Also you can't help but tell her how incredibly boring life is without her - could be seen as you telling her you miss her, but doesn't have to be read that way if she doesn't want it.

Alex finally rants about work a little longer before you decide to watch a movie together since it's getting late on her end and you usually spend your Sundays watching a movie or two, whenever both of you are available. 

It takes Kathryn until around noon the next day to answer your message and she seems rather stressed, as it simply reads "Let's catch up tonight! x", as if she didn't even get to finish typing it all out. Excited for the night, you plan out the rest of the day and secretly hope she will acknowledged any kind of feelings she might have in any way, so you can finally talk it all out. 

You're sitting outside in your mom's garden in between all of her flowers on a comfy garden bench as the call comes in and decide to take it with your computer that is placed on the garden table beside you. This way, you can sit and act more comfortably and can grab a blanket or pillow with your hands instead of holding onto your phone.

"Hiya Hon! I missed your face!" Kathryn speaks in excitement as her wide grin fills the screen. She is also taking the call with a computer, as she is just putting her phone away when she sees you.

You smile softly and a warm fuzzy feeling makes itself at home in your body. „Hey Kathryn.. you look beautiful tonight, as always.“

Kathryn blushes as a cheeky smile plays along her lips and makes herself comfortable on the couch that's placed next to the hotel room window. You can see the last couple of sunrays cradling her face as she leans back and the sun hits her features through the open window. She is wearing a white loose shirt and a thin golden necklace is resting around her neck. Her fingers caress the cold metal as she looks at you, softly biting the right side of her lover lip.

„How are you doing, Sweetie?“ she says and you don’t know what to reply. You want to tell her that you miss her - more than just physically -, you want to tell her that she is occupying your thoughts and dreams and that you want to be with her and how it crushes you that she isn’t with you right now. Yet, something is holding you back, because somehow, you feel like she needs to be the one to bring it up first.

Your breath hitches as she does. „I miss you, honey.“

Your heart is racing and you can feel it beating in your throat in anticipation of what she might say next. „I miss sitting with you and laughing, yeah, but I also really miss kissing you. I can’t believe we don’t get to do that for such a long time.“ She groans.

Yeah. That. Of course she misses that. You sink back into the couch, slightly disappointed, but at the same time - what did you expect?

She notices. „Is everything alright, Love?“ she seems worried.

„Yeah! I’m good. It’s just been a rough week and not being able to sit and, you know, spent time with you just seems wrong.“ You’re not lying.

She nods. „It does. You’re right.“

„I know.“ For a moment, both of you fall silent, caught up in your thoughts. Kathryn is still playing with her necklace, as she is lying on the couch in a very relaxed position with her foot propped up and, all of a sudden, looks absolutely heartbroken.

You can’t stand to see her like this and decide to change the topic. You sit up straight again. „So… HOW IS IT? Tell me all about it! The set, the project, YOUR COLLEAGUES and like… I know you can’t really tell me anything, but like… TELL ME EVERYTHING.“

Her laughter fills the room. You did it, you made both of you happy. „Alright, well. It seems to be a very suspenseful movie and the cast is just great. Lots of people my age but also a couple young ones that remind me of you,“ she winks. „I enjoy working here very much so far.“

Speaking about other people has your attention, so you decide to dig deeper. „So, they all treat you like the Queen you are.“

She waves it off. „Oh SHUSH. You are crazy. Although… you are not wrong, all of them treat me very well.“ 

A small smile plays around her lips and, for a moment, you wonder why, but she is already changing the topic. “We’re actually going out for dinner in the upcoming week. I am very excited. It’s gonna be just a couple of us, but, you know me, I love connecting with the others. Bouncing off ideas and all.”

You nod. You DO know her. “That sounds amazing Kathryn! I am beyond excited for you.”

In the distance, you can hear thunder and see the clouds getting darker. Looking back at her, you catch her yawning. “Hey you? It’s getting stormy out here," You look around you again. "I think there’s a storm coming.”

“OH NO.” She mumbles, before she yawns again.

“ALSO,” you try to get her attention back. “You, ma’am, seem to be pretty tired tonight.”

Forcefully keeping her eyes open, she scans your face. “NEVER. I am never tired. I always go to bed late.” She laughs.

“Kathryn…” you really don’t want to be a literal mom in front of her again, but she doesn’t actually leave you a choice.

“I KNOW, I know,” she laughs. “I had a night shoot last night and I think I can finally feel the aftermath.” She yawns again. This time, you yawn with her. “See, you’re tired, too, and I can actually hear AND see the storm approaching behind you. I need you to stay save and get inside.”

You nod, already grabbing the things you put on your table. “Don’t go silent on me again, yeah?”

“I promise I won’t.” She says and you believe her.

“Alright then, good night, K.” Kathryn smiles at the nickname.

“Sleep well, Y/N. And again, text me anytime, promise I'll be there as soon as I can.” And with that, all good byes are said and you immediately close your computer and storm inside after hanging up as the first raindrops hit you.

The storm is starting to get heavier and the incoming rain is now hitting the windows hard as the thunder rolls in - a perfect representation of your thoughts and feelings piling up inside of you.

[jadegreenimmortality]

Doing house chores with Odasaku (and failing miserably)

A/N: Domestic headcanons with Odasaku. This turned out rather comedic?! It's my first time writing for BSD, and for Oda, and just writing in general since a long time, so please be kind to me! Someone said he is underappreciated and now that I have taken my time to take a closer look at his character (so I feel I can write him properly), I very much agree! This is a gift for the lovely @hanazou who has been very kind to me! (♥ω♥*)

Edit: Please don't judge my writing by this work; it was my very first one here and I don't deem it to be very good!

Pairings: Oda x gn! reader

Genre: domestic crack

Warnings: none

Summary: You and Oda decide it's time to do some deep-cleaning of your apartment. None of you admits you don't really know what you are doing.

Odasaku is a grown-up, and even though the maturity of an average 23 year old can be doubted at occasions, he is a very mature individual indeed. It's not like the life he leads has left him a choice in that department. Which means that he is also a responsible human being that knows how to do all the basic house chores. You know - taking out the trash, vacuuming, cleaning the toilet and windows, doing the dishes, etc.

Now, what I am stressing is the knows how to part. Yes, he knows how to, but he doesn't like to do them. This doesn't mean he's a messy person of course. He's very much able of keeping an acceptable amount of tidiness around the apartment, but his job at the Port Mafia is anything but easy. Doing all the little things no one else has time for can add up to being a lot of work in one day and most of the times when he's done with it, he's so tired he either goes to the Lupin bar or just straight up home and to bed.

So when you move in with him, one would expect that keeping the apartment clean gets easier, two people working on it now and such, right?

Sadly, no. You are completely occupied with studying, working, or both (whatever you do) and are equally tired as him when you are finished with that.

So you just try to maintain an acceptable level of tidiness until one weekend, it borders on barely acceptable and you decide that the time has come to properly clean the house.

But! You also decide to make the best out of it and power through together. You'll take care of the kitchen and vacuuming and Oda will clean the bathrooms and the windows.

Oda's love language is quality time as well as acts of service, so he actually grows to appreciate the idea to spend the day like this with you, even though the tasks at hand are annoying. Cleaning together has the advantage that cleaning doesn't require much thought, so when you two are in a room, you just chat away about anything.

The antics from your fellow students/co-workers make him chuckle, and god knows that's not a sound anyone will hear from him often. You are probably even the one to cause it most of the time~

You'll also share deep thoughts on many topics, especially literature I do see him as having a interest in literature in general.

Soon, you begin to notice to that, uhm, cleaning does actually require more attention than expected? When you take a closer look at the windows Oda just presumably wiped clean, they do seem to be...more opaque than before his efforts. What kind of cleaning solution did he use again? But then again - what is he meant to use anyways??

Since you both are clueless, you decide to postpone the matter and move on to new rooms, this time separately.

Oda is a dutiful man, but, as mentioned before, not a particularly devoted cleaner. Now that you are not close anymore, his motivation to do his job is lowered to 'let's get this done as soon as possible'

will probably use the same detergent on all the superficies your poor ceramics

he's almost done when he hears a loud crash from outside the bathroom. You've been vacuuming for quite some time now but it's still loud enough to startle him. He jumps to his feet when suddenly, his gift activates and he sees himself open the bathroom door and rush out - just to stumble over you, entangled in the vacuum cleaner's cable, and fall to the ground.

he proceeds to slowly open the door and lays eyes on just the expected sight. 'How...did you manage to get there? 'is what his face is saying.

He'll detangle you and help you up. He'll absolutely keep a straight face, but will not restrain from teasing you for getting in such a position. Your poutiness will make him chuckle yet again, a deep chuckle that makes your skin tingle no matter the situation I'm getting off-topic

spoiler: it's not the last time his gift will activate that day

Later, you have almost admitted defeat. You poured the soap for the washing machine in the dishwasher how did you not notice the difference and may have cut yourself a few times while trying to clean your cutlery HOW

You're almost done when it happens again. Oda has just finished his cleaning duties with a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat of his forehead. The moment he walks into the kitchen though, to check on you, his gift activates again and he sees you falling from a quite unstable stool, a glass vase slipping your hands, hitting the floor and sending glass shard flying everywhere.

Naturally, he leaps forward to prevent both of you from being pierced by glass and also his beloved from breaking any bones. Such a hero~

A rather high-pitched scream leaves your lips when you feel your feet slip. You are not ready to die yet, not like this! But instead of hitting the floor, you feel a strong arm catch your upper body and wrap around your shoulder. Next thing you know, you are pressed against Oda's chest, your feet steady on the ground. A moment later, a hollow sound tells you he has also caught the vase. Beautiful blue eyes meet your as you look up into Oda's slightly tired, but relaxed face, a faint smile grazing his lips.

"I do not see any vacuum cleaner cable laying around here, just what exactly did you trip over?"

You may bury your face in his chest if you feel embarassed. He'll just chuckle and rest his chin on your head for a moment, enjoying the touch.

And that's the story of how you two settled on hiring someone to clean for you when you will buy, one day, that house at the seaside

A/N: I do not know if this is any good; I do hope you like it though!

[alirhi]

...goddess help me...

This fucking episode. *deep breath* This... This episode is where I'm expecting to get some serious hate. Let me just get this out of the way right up front:

I. Hate. Zemo.

I do not find him sympathetic, or funny, or charming. I find him creepy and annoying. I did not like him in CA:CW and I do not like him in TFATWS. If you are pro-Zemo, you are not going to like my version of this show from here on out. Just find something else to read and don't bother me about it. You've got the actual canon, so go enjoy that.

Got it? Good. Now, on to the main event!

Episode 3: The Power Broker

First of all, Sam doesn't let Bucky walk in there alone. No matter Bucky's (flimsy and nonsensical) argument, Sam's like "hell no. I go in with you, or you don't go in." The main reason for this isn't to keep Bucky from breaking Zemo out of prison (with decent writing, he would never do that) - it's so that Sam witnesses Zemo taunting Bucky with/about the trigger words. because Zemo is a piece of shit.

Since he doesn't know the full story, Sam is confused, but he files this interaction away to ask Bucky about later. He's listening to Zemo acknowledging that Bucky was "not conscious for most of [his] imprisonment" (which, yes, clearly refers to the time he spent frozen, but can also mean while he was under their control as TWS/"The Asset" - also, key word: imprisonment) and when he calls Bucky a means to an end, Sam scowls, looking ready to go off on him, but he waits. They've got more important issues.

Neither of them entertains the thought of breaking Zemo out for even a nanosecond. He does that shit himself. And literally the only reason I'm sticking with him getting out at all is because I want to address some truly egregious moments linked directly to him in the show. Zemo makes them think he's setting them on the trail when really he's just sending them to his motor pool. Bucky and Sam are confused until they see Zemo in his stolen guard uniform, then they're both angry and want to ship him right back to prison, but he strikes a deal with them: "My help for my temporary freedom. Creating super soldiers cannot be allowed to continue; let me finish my work, and then do with me as you will." He has no intention of going quietly back to prison, obviously, and they're not stupid enough to believe otherwise, but they believe they can keep him on a short leash, so they agree for now. Anything to bring down the Flag Smashers and whoever created them.

After the title, we cut to Raynor on the phone in her office. She's agitated, fiddling with things on her desk. "No, sir," she's practically growling, "it was disrupted. - Walker did! - It's not my fault your new attack dog got off-leash!" She pauses, huffs, and says more calmly, "No. Of course not. I'm sorry. - Well, I don't see how, with the new Cap strutting around barking orders! - What am I supposed to do? Tell Captain America in front of a dozen witnesses that he can't have his predecessor's favorite pet because we're not done reprogramming him? I didn't see that going over too well. I made a call. - No. No, no, no, we can still use him. The work's not finished, but he still trusts me. He'll be back." A pause as she listens. Angry again, she snaps, "What do you want me to do, shove a tracker up his ass? He'll be back, and we'll pick right back up where we left off! - Don't worry, sir, the Asset will be fully compliant and ready to use soon. I'll make sure of it. - Yes, sir. You, too." She hangs up and tosses her phone on the couch, grumbling, "Dick."

Cut back to Sam, Bucky, and Zemo getting going on their trip to Madripoor. On the plane, Sam wants to talk to Bucky about what he's learned so far, but doesn't want to bring it up in front of Zemo... until the notebook incident reminds him that Zemo already knows more about Bucky than he does.

After Zemo's line about the list, Sam angrily corrects him: "You mean people HYDRA used The Winter Soldier to hurt." When Zemo shrugs and his response is basically along the lines of "what's the difference" Sam is like "oh hell no."

"Those words you were reciting at him," he reminds Zemo, "what were they, Russian? They clearly meant something. They were supposed to do something. What are they?" "Sam, let it go," Bucky pleads, unable to look at either of them. "It's nothing." "You wanna drown in your guilt, that's fine," Sam snaps, "but make sure it's for the right reasons." He turns back to Zemo, who's smiling at this exchange because he's a monster and thinks Bucky's suffering is fucking funny. "I asked you a question, Zemo. What did those words do?" "They activate the Winter Soldier programming," Bucky grudgingly admits. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he's sure as hell not going to let Zemo speak for him. "Or, they did, before the Wakandans got all that shit out of my head." "It's a shame," Zemo says with a smirk. "Imagine the possibilities that come with perfect obedience." "I think you mean 'slavery'," Sam growls, "and I think you're in the wrong crowd to be looking so pleased about it. Remember that we can send your ass back to prison any time." "Of course," Zemo agrees, but with an arrogant smile that shows he doesn't believe for a second that these two have any real power over him. Still, he bides his time and sits back quietly, watching Bucky fidget with the notebook. Sam turns back to Bucky, seeing his discomfort; he won't let the topic go, though, not yet. He just softens his tone. "So, they 'activated the Winter Soldier'? What exactly does that mean?" Bucky shrugs, still not looking up. "Pretty much what he said - perfect obedience. What little consciousness they left me between cryo and the chair was squashed down, locked away. And I did whatever I was told, exactly the way they told me to." It finally clicks. He'd had his suspicions before, of course, but now Sam gets it. Visibly horrified, he stares at this quiet, broken man, and finally sees the truth of what he'd been through for 70 years: "They stripped away your autonomy. Shit, Bucky, they didn't even let you be a person. That's..." He swallows, looking like he'll be sick any minute. "That's awful, man. I'm so sorry." When Bucky tries to shrug it off and downplay it again, Sam gets angry. "Look at me!" He waits; it takes a few seconds, but Bucky reluctantly looks up and is surprised to see just how upset Sam is on his behalf. "It wasn't your fault. None of it. When Steve said you didn't have a choice, I had no idea... You really, truly had no choice; not even the ability to choose. That's horrifying." "I doubt it would make much difference to the people he's killed," Zemo points out snidely. "Or their families. Let's ask Tony Stark, shall we?" "You shut the hell up," Sam growls. He watches Bucky flinch and make that face - the face he's starting to really fucking hate - that says he agrees with Zemo. Bucky still can't see things the way Sam does; he still feels the guilt and shame, and even when he himself pointed out his lack of agency under HYDRA, it didn't click for him that Sam is right, not Zemo.

It's too much, too soon. Sam sees that and decides to change the subject, to give Bucky some time to process. He nods at the notebook, and they have their little Marvin Gaye debate, where Sam is over the top about it on purpose, because Bucky needs the distraction.

Of course, Zemo ruins it by opening his big mouth again and reminding Bucky of more trauma: his time fighting in WWII. That's why Sam latches onto the bit about Madripoor; to keep the focus not only on the task at hand, but off of Bucky's past that he clearly still can't cope with.

"James... You will have to become someone you claim is gone." Sam is officially ready to throw Zemo out a window. 😂 The only reason he doesn't jump to Bucky's defense again and basically tell Zemo to fuck himself (in a PG-13 way 🙄) is because Bucky's, as Sam pointed out in ep2, a grown-ass man, and because he's just learned how few decisions this poor man has been able to make in his life. Sam doesn't want to come across as another "handler," deciding everything for him, even if he does think this plan is stupid and needlessly cruel.

At the bar, when asked if he wants "the usual", Sam just casually waves the bartender off like "nah". Zemo already said they had business to attend to, so it's not like anyone would be suspicious that now's probably not a good time to be doing weird shots lol. (wtf even was that? I'm not sure I want to know, but...what part of the snake did he drop into that drink?)

Sam's not an idiot (I'm really so sick of this trend of turning intelligent characters into morons because the writers can't think of any other way to move their plot along) so his cell phone has been off this whole time. No sudden call from Sarah to put them all in danger. There was really no point to that, anyway; Sharon likely would have killed Selby for talking about Nagle with or without the excuse of "saving" Sam and Bucky. I mean, it's not like they know who fired that shot, ever.

"They cleared the Bionic Staring Machine," Sam still jokes, but he follows it with, "and they think he's a mass-murderer." "They think?" Sharon stares at him incredulously. "Didn't he kill pretty much everyone he's ever met?" "Wow." Sam glances back at Bucky. "She really is awful now." To Sharon, he adds, "You met Steve; do you really think he'd have defied 117 countries to protect someone evil?" "He did it for Bucky," she points out. "Let's face it - Bucky could blow up half the planet, and Steve's loyal-to-a-fault ass would still take a bullet for him." "You know I'm sitting right here, right? I can hear you." "Look, I don't think you're evil, Bucky," Sharon assures him. "But I know you killed a lot of people for HYDRA." "I'm not denying it." "He didn't have a choice," Sam snaps, glaring at them both. "But we're not getting into that right now. My point is, the government's afraid of Bucky, and they still pardoned him. All you did was steal something. I'm sure they can be persuaded to see reason." "The day the US government sees reason," Sharon quips, rolling her eyes, "is the day I sprout real wings and fly off into the sunset." "Careful, Icarus," Bucky mocks with a smirk, "the sun and brand new wings don't exactly go together." Then he shrugs and glances at Sam. "But she's not wrong."

At the party that night, it takes a few minutes (grumpy old man Bucky's not sure how to feel about the music lol) but a peek of pre-war Bucky comes out to play: they were told to "blend in", so he dances. At first he's just bobbing around alone looking stoic and out of place, but soon he's smiling and dancing between two attractive people - one male, one female. Sam is surprised, but before he can tease him for it, Sharon comes to get them all. Even she's a little "wait what?" at Bucky having a little fun lol. (recovery is not linear, guys. trauma doesn't mean "perpetually miserable, no fun, doesn't even know how to smile." in my TFATWS, Bucky gets his lighter moments; real ones, not humor at his expense)

When they find Nagle, Bucky's the one who notices and opens the secret door, while Sam keeps an eye on Zemo. Bucky catches Zemo trying to grab that gun; closes the drawer on his hand before opening it and taking the gun away. "Nice try." Nagle tries to get away while there's only one person watching him, but Sam catches him and forces him back into his seat. With a bruising grip on the back of Zemo's neck, Bucky drags him back over to where he and Sam can both keep an eye on him. Nagle is killed in the shootout as they're trying to escape; Zemo still runs off, blows shit up, and comes back with the stolen car so he's not totally useless.

I had no problem with Zemo being the one to kill Nagle; Nagle was the worst and def had to die, and Zemo has never had an issue killing anyone. Where I took issue with this scene was Bucky and Sam being dumb enough to let Zemo wander and get his hands on a gun. Nope. Not happening.

Anyway, shootout! Explosions! Funny banter! The seat thing, which is my favorite nod to CW ever lol... And then the conversation on the plane...

"You okay?" "Yeah." Sam sighs. "Just thinking." "About how to get Sharon that pardon you dangled in front of her?" He shakes his head. "About how Nagle referred to 'The Winter Soldier Program" like it was some kind of after school club; like you weren't standing right there. And 'the American test subject' like... Like Isaiah wasn't even a real person." He turns to face Bucky, looking angry and weary. "Makes me wonder how many times... How many times are we gonna run around in the same circles before people learn? And how many people need to get crushed underfoot in the meantime?" "Did you really just equate me with Isaiah?" Bucky frowns, not sure how to react to that. "That man is a hero." Sam opens his mouth to say something, but his phone goes off and Zemo approaches at the same time, effectively cutting off their conversation.

When they get to Riga and Zemo tries to guilt trip them over Sokovia, Bucky deadpan reminds him, "Neither of us were involved in that fight." "I doubt you'd have been much help if you were." He shrugs. "Probably not. But I like to save my guilt for events I was actually present for. It's a thing." Zemo laughs. "Fair enough."

Bucky goes on his walk, and meets up with Ayo.

[mamamittens]

February Event! Season of Love!

Hey, I'm not dead!

I meant to do this sooner so I'd have more time (And have a banner, whoops), but here I am, posting just before the beginning of February anyway!

So! What's the event? A celebration of love! 6 different types of love!

There are 6 slots open with the different types I'll cover! The option of a picture, or an undetermined amount of writing (definitely more than a paragraph-- 5 sentences, especially if it's just this one) on said topic for a character(s). Or, even both (gasp! How spicy!). It's lowkey a first come-first serve, but it's more of a raffle? Basically, when you enter the raffle and I spin my wheel, whoever wins first, gets to choose a slot! The last person will not have a choice, outside of declining. You cannot win more than one slot so choose wisely!

So, what's the different types of love?

Eros (+18) - passionate and sexual love

Agape - unconditional love, like an oath or something

Storge - familial love (parent and child)

Philia - platonic love (between family or friends)

Self-Love (+18*) - on the tin, but probably like self care in practice? (wink wink with that +18)

Obsessive Love (+18*) - the spicy dangerous one, like in yandere fics

You'll notice the +18 on three options! With the exception of Eros, that means that you can request a +18 version that's spicy (can't promise the picture will be much spicier than my thirst trap event, for reasons, but I can definitely write it judging by the amount of smut I've seen still living on this site). But they don't have to be spicy, though there is a bit of an edge naturally baked into obsessive love by default.

To request +18 though (or ask for the Eros slot), you must have your age in your bio as 18 or older! Ageless or minor blogs will be ineligible. No exceptions, if you try to insist, I will block you. The characters must also be +18 in this case!

So, how do you enter the raffle? Simple!

You must be following as a baseline!

A reblog of this post is one ticket!

A like of this post is one ticket!

Two tickets max!

That's it!

I'll do the raffle drawing at the end of the 7th, giving me plenty of time to at least finish one and roll it out by the 14th! If somehow I don't have enough slots filled, I'll open them to request through my ask box, but the rules still apply for +18 content (probably asking friends first if they aren't already in cause I can get ahold of them quicker, tbh).

The intent is to release them all by the end of the month, so if you win, be patient (Though I can keep you in the loop for progress when I start on your slot if you're interested)! Obviously, slots with both a picture and writing will take a bit longer, but not by much. I'm pretty fast at writing when I have a goal.

I will private message you to ask and if you don't respond within 24 hours, I move onto the next person instead until all slots are filled!

Anything else you should know? Yes!

This can go for any fandom (I can and will use google, but if I'm not already familiar with the fandom, there is a chance the character(s) will be ooc, if that matters to you), and I will open this up to be applicable for reader/OCs (OCs will require references), and for up to 3 characters in the artwork, but no more than that! Obviously, readers will not be included in the picture if a picture is requested (so it would be like a character is sending it to you instead, like the thirst trap event), and will probably not be written from the reader's perspective.

I will veto details I'm not comfortable with, but it's completely fine to ask! As a general rule, if it belongs in the toilet, I will not write it (I sympathy gag real easy, so naturally I don't want to ponder the 3 P's). I also am not comfortable with using real people, so kpop bands and straight up celebrities are a no go, as an example! Fictional only! And preferably no noncon, but I do acknowledge that obsessive love does tend to at least be dubcon, so keep that in mind for +18 content.

And that's it! Good luck!

See you back here on the 7th!

[venii-vidii-vicii]

Memento Mori

A year and a half ago, I started a project with a writer that I was a fan of. We both met at some of the lowest points in our lives and have gone through several mental breakdowns on our journey to this point.

Together, we started working on Memento Mori; a slow burn fic focused on Titus and Glen growing up in Martinaise and how their relationship changed and developed. But more than that, the story is about fate. The idea whether we're truly destined by a higher power above, or if we can write our own stories. It's about life and multiple universes where maybe things would have been different had you picked another choice.

Do all the roads lead to Rome?

The story was heavy to write since it tackled a lot of uncomfortable topics like abuse, homophobia, and a thing we all deal with called depression. But working on this was comforting. I'm not the same me I was when we started working on Memento Mori. I've grown and healed.

This is a personal story, it has a lot of references to things I doubt any reader would understand. If we're friends and you know me? Maybe.

But this story allowed me and my friend to talk about things we always wanted to discuss and also allowed us to give our favorite boys some backstory.

The fact that we just finished writing it after all this time feels unreal. I would have never expected to have the attention span to work on something for this long. But I guess having a partner helps. And also Glen and Titus... They're just very special to me. I haven't felt this connected to characters in a long time.

So anyway, I could talk a lot about them and about Memento Mori but I just wanted to say that I'm happy we made it. I'm happy we saw it through despite everything.

I'm happier now than I've been when I first met my writing partner. He's doing a lot better too. I really meant it when I said this story helped us heal. I guess that'll become apparent when the story reaches its end. Although we finished writing, not all the chapters are up yet since they're posted weekly (ish.... Sometimes.... Whenever my co-writer feels like uploading them xD but mostly weekly)

So yeah I thought to celebrate this, I would post all my favorite art that I've made for this story in the past year and a half c: And there's a lot more from different artists you'll probably see it throughout the story.

If you're still here reading me rambling on, thank you! It means a lot to me.

I'll let you enjoy the art and the fic now 😌💜