#so while it'll be accurate to the best of my ability

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

i finally started my tintin stats project, where i go thru each book from soviets to picaros and tally up certain things with the occasional note. im mostly doing it for fanfic, cosplay and headcanon reasons, and was just going to do it and then post my findings book by book but then i thought well. it's kind of a resource, and people might have specific things they want to know.

so far my categories are:

vehicles - what vehicles he travels in, which ones he drives, any crashes

health - when he sleeps, if he snores, if he dreams, if he has nightmares; any injuries and what kinds; any time he loses consciousness and the cause; when he eats and what he eats, what he enjoys eating and what he doesn't; any time he gets drunk

any time he is violent to another person

physical activity - any time he swims, climbs a tree, rides a horse

the law - any time he is arrested (including attempted arrests), imprisoned, sentenced to death, or joins an army

emotions - when he cries and about what; when he laughs and about what; when he gets angry, at whom and why; when he is visibly afraid and of what; when he prays; when he sings or dances

le petit vingtieme - any time he actually writes an article lol

QUIFF DOWN!!! - any time his quiff is down lol. this is kind of a joke one bc this only happens generally if he's soaking wet but also i think its funny any time it happens so its getting tallied

at a later point i'm also going to chart the passage of time across each adventure so i can have a rought idea of how long each story lasts. in a similar vein, i'm also going to chart what clothes he wears and whether he still owns them at the end of the album (sounds weird lol but he goes thru SO many different outfits in soviets just bc people keep blowing him up and wrecking his clothes lmao. and at the end of congo he returns to belgium with only a rifle and the clothes he's wearing). i might later add things like, any time certain characters appear, but im still early on and he doesnt know anyone yet lol

essentially, i just finished doing this for congo, so before i get any further are there any other things people would like to see tallied/noted? i am doing this so u dont have to (:

[chiscribbs]

Apocalypse Future Donnie Concepts

I wasn't actually planning on posting these until I had a definitive final design to share alongside them, but- It's probably going to be a while before that happens and I feel bad for how inactive this blog has been lately. I've been working on stuff, but only in-between projects, and none of it is really ready to post. So, here's a little something to prove that I am still alive. ❤

Donnie's design is so hard to update. It's just...so good in its simplicity??? Every element feels necessary to his character - so figuring out what to keep, what to get rid of, and what to change slightly is a definite challenge. It's even harder when we're given so little (canonical) information about what role he played in the Resistance and what effects the Krang Apocalypse may have had on him...including how long ago he was killed in relation to the movie. Or how he was killed, for that matter.

So, I'm playing around with some potential ideas and trying to get something that feels right - feels like Donnie, but if he had to adapt to the apocalypse (while also trying to stick to the show's simplistic, shape-heavy style, so nothing too terribly detailed or complex.) I'll share a few of these ideas below, for anyone who's interested.

(Also, yes - I know the spot-goatee is in no way an original concept, but I have a deep affection for it and had to include it in my design.)

One of the concepts I'm considering is giving Donnie a prosthetic leg, something to sort of parallel Leo with his Robo-Raph arm. But in Donnie's case, he probably lost his leg long before Raph was killed or maybe even before he built the robots of his family (maybe this serves as the inspiration or catalyst for the idea.) My working theory is that he was attempting to detonate a mine field full of some Krang dogs and something went wrong which caused him to get caught up in the resulting blast. He was lucky enough to keep his life, but lost his leg and probably some of his hearing in the process. Naturally, because it's Donnie (and because they're living through an apocalypse), the leg will be more than just a prosthetic limb - it'll have some kind of weaponry or technological capabilities built into it. Just haven't decided what that's going to be yet, lol.

I'm also toying with the idea of him creating some kind of "Ninpo Protection Device" - something to act as a defense mechanism against the Krang's mystic-cancelling (or, more accurately, locking) abilities. He's testing it on himself before green-lighting it to be used on his brothers (which, obviously, never happens.) The problem is I can't decide how to visibly convey this idea, I was thinking something along the lines of one of those medical aid devices that become permanent attachments to the user's body. But most of the visible parts of his body are covered in natural armor, save for his limbs and head. So figuring out the best placement for a thing like that has been a little challenging.

I was considering giving him a mechanical hand along with/in place of the robotic leg, as well. Reason being - he works primarily with his hands and almost never wears practical protection gear (another thing I tried to partially remedy with the addition of the gloves), so if any part of him is going to be lost, his hands would be the logical first choice. I also think there's a poetic element to the guy who relies on his tech becoming more and more "mechanical" himself (but only in the physical sense). It would also imply that there was a time when he couldn't work as efficiently on his own as he normally is able to, due to having one less hand, so there was likely an adjustment period wherein he had to lean into his mystic abilities (and the aid of others around him) far more than he's used to doing. A little background character development for him, because I love that kind of stuff.

These are about all of the definitive concepts I have for him at the moment, but obviously, I'm nowhere near having a finished design just yet. So, all of these could potentially be scrapped or tweaked in the final version.

If you read this far - kudos! And thanks for your interest! :>

[nobodylikety]

Fun fact (I don't know how fun, but anyway):

I'm writing something about hybrid! IVE, but for it I'm always doing research on the idea I come up with in order to make it as accurate as possible, and in the middle of that my inspiration went away a bit (don't worry, it'll be back soon) so I started scrolling through instagram and I got some screenshots that I feel are very hybrid! New Jeans & hybrid! IVE 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Literally Cat! Haerin✨ if Haerin is not showing affection in a passive-aggressive way with insults and hisses (which are not serious), she will most likely pat you on the head, hopping it's enough to show you she doesn't hate you ,,,🐈‍⬛ 🩷

Puppy! Danielle 👏🏻 CAN'T👏🏻 spell 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 her 👏🏻 dear 👏🏻 life 👏🏻

you probably use that to your advantage, because Dani recognises the magic words "walk", "dessert", "cuddle" and "Haerin" (yeah, a puppy obsessed with a cat, how ironic), and when you say them it's like opening pandora's box, so you have to go through life spelling out Dani's fav words so she doesn't find out—

ALSO, I'm sure one time Bear! Minji was too drowsy to remember to spell in Dani's presence, and practically threw up her favourite words,,,,, and Dani got the zoomies. Yeah.

Tiger! Leeseo would definitely trade you for a bag of treats. I ordered from lowest to highest who is most likely to sell you for treats, and it goes something like this:

1. Yujin: she's the best girl, absolutely loyal, and not even for the yummiest treat she would let you go 🐶 <3

2. Wonyoung: another good girl! she's pretty clingy and dependent on you, also loves your praise and cuddles, so letting you go is like, uh, not an option 🚫 she'll be a pampered princess a her life 🐰 <3

3. Gaeul: As the oldest member, she’s very reliable and has a natural ability to take care of younger members (which sometimes, or almost all the time, includes you). She takes a long time to explain herself too, as she speaks slowly and has a very large vocabulary, which is why she would give you some sort of explanation/sermon as to why she is trading you for a bag of treats ☝🏻🤓 But! at the end of the day more than for herself, she does it for the rest of the members because she cares for them <3  and yeah, she would almost immediately want you back, because she feels a responsibility to care for you too. 🐿️

4. Rei: She's kinda in the middle! people says snakes do everything in cold blood, but Rei's the most gentle reptile in the world! you're her fav person, who she loves to hug and cuddle really really tight, so why would she trade you for a bag of treats? BUT! while she wouldn't practically trade you for a few treats, it's fair to say she did think about it and considered it. Because hey, she's a snake, she needs to eat a whole lot,,, 🐍

5. Liz: Standard orange cat behavior. Not much to explain. Liz would trade you for treats, so that after 5 minutes there is so much chaos (her fault. how? no one knows) that she needs you back 🐈‼️

6. Leeseo: This gremlin would literally trade you for a chicken nugget. Or a treat in general. Y’know, I even think she’d trade any of the girls for treat. I don't have the proof to say it, but I don't have the proof to deny it either. I just have a vibe, and a hunch, that she'd have the firm conviction to trade you for something, and once she got it, she'd be like ‘okay that's it, now what’ and then she’ll come back for you because she knows that even when she gets into the worst sort of mischief, a little bit of her big begging eyes will change your mind and she'll get out of the scolding. Brats gonna brat ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Bear! Minji (always tired) and Puppy! Danielle (can't sleep)

OR

Snake! Rei (always tired) and Tiger! Leeseo (can't sleep)

[cosmictulips]

Hello --- It's been a while. Lets talk.

I told you guys I would be back. and I'm back.

I've done a lot of learning. Not just in school but in life in general. I learned a lot about my relationships this past year. I learned a lot about myself, what I wanted in my life and where I am going from here.

I don't see tarot in that future but I feel like I've really just scratched the surface of how accurate my readings can go. every single. reading. I did this year was accurate.

At one point someone from three years ago had reached out to me to tell me how accurate the reading was.

And I think part of this is that I need to heal the way I see tarot. and how I do tarot. my friend, who is no longer on this app told me that maybe it's because I get to take my time, that my readings are more accurate.

I've noticed that I've been getting more burned out with tarot the more I try to keep up with everyone who seemingly gets to post more than one or two or even three readings a day.

that just can't work for me. not any more. I don't want to keep up with anything. I just want to study the stars, do my readings and be authentic and good in my readings.

I don't care if I'm the most popular anymore, or if I'm the fastest- which was truly what I cared about in the beginning. being the fastest- I just want to do right by myself and do readings based on how I feel.

the point is.

I want to get back into tarot on here. it'll be free. my inbox will be open for them. but there will not be any time sensitive questions. you will not rush me. and I will, to the best of my ability, get them out to you.

sound good?

I'll probably start this up sometime next week when my new classes begin. I am taking a lot fewer classes. I'm still going to post on tiktok. but I just... I miss tarot the way I used to do it. so I'm going back to that.

No payments. no nothing. just me and my cards.

[egg-emperor]

Any Canon!Eggdad headcanons you got?

I have a headcanon that when (or if, for that matter) Eggman dies, Sage will take over the empire but keep keep his logo and general aesthetic intact out of honor.

I have this funny post where I say I think Eggman would be highly against passing the empire on to anyone, not even to Sage. He wants to have the world to himself and I think that he feels that if he can't have it, no one can. I think he'd rather take the world with him in death and blow it up before even entertaining the idea of passing it down it for a second lol. He called it the Eggman Empire and Eggmanland and has his visage plastered on everything for a reason. He wants to be the center of attention and for it to be all for him and about him and nothing more or less. His ego and greed would never allow it.

I like how you say "if", because I also imagine that if he has the choice and ability, he'll want to extend his lifespan or immortalize himself in any way because he needs all the time in the world to build and rule his empire, especially as an older man already. With all the crazy shit he's survived, age is the only thing currently that could kill him. But he needs the time to build it all and enjoy it, he didn't build a throne to pass it down to someone else in matter of a few decades or so! And that can tie into his refusal to let anyone else take his place when he's not around, it can't happen if he never dies in the first place.

But if he did die then of course someone would have to take it over whether he wants it or not. But he certainly wouldn't leave anything in a will, he gives nothing to nobody, not even in death! Sage would be the most appropriate of his existing creations to take the reigns with her loyalty, devotion, and respect for him until the end. But I think she'd be hesitant to do anything without his authorization and struggle with it, while Orbot and Cubot would just be like "hey he's gone and we're free now, it doesn't matter what he wanted" but she'd feel like she's betraying his wishes so it'll always feel wrong. Pretty sad thought.

But yeah, I think she'd be very careful and strictly compliant to his orders and wishes as if he never left because her honoring of him and his wishes will remain strong forever. She'd maintain it the exact way he left it with its design, aesthetics, and all, and run it only exactly how he did. It'd make you forget you're in a world with Eggman no longer in it, when you're still surrounded by him and his ideas and rules, with his image plastered everywhere just like he wanted. It would look like he never left and is going to come back any moment and take his seat on his throne but he's never going to come back again.

While everyone gets to remember him and it feels like his spirit is still alive and they're never able to forget him, it would only constantly remind Sage of the truth after being much closer to him but she'd willingly live with never being able to move on and escape the pain, just for him to get what he wants like always. She wants to think those efforts would make him proud, even if her taking over wasn't what he wanted, but she remembers how mad he'd get when she did anything differently so she'd always feel a little bad for that. But she never stops having his best interests in mind, no matter what she does.

I'm feeling emo about this lol. If I was in the Sonic Universe and he was real and really had existed in my world, a world without Eggman in it after he died would be so fucked and not one worth living in ahakgbskgjskg

Anyway yeah! I've been thinking of further developing some more of my canon accurate Eggdad headcanons for some more posts but I still need to get started on that properly and I haven't had the time but stay tuned because I definitely want to contribute to the small amount of canon accurate Eggman and Sage Eggdad fan stuff.

But aside from this, I also have some others that I've already shared that I'll compile here:

This funny one about how Eggman would talk about Sage to other parents based on the things that specifically made him value her

Eggman brags about Sage being better and superior to Maria based on his thoughts on her in the memos

A father's day concept with Eggman, Sage, Metal, and Orbot and Cubot

Eggman shows a warning to Sage so she knows why it's important to stay loyal and efficient in subtle but eerie and unsettling way

Two posts of me talking about the chaotic villainous antics that I really want to see with them hehe

Eggman making people into robots for Sage to play with so she'll view them as toys and play things like he does

That's all of them so far I'm pretty sure, aside from my most controversial problematic fucked up short concept I shared that people got really mad at lol

More to come!

[scribbled-entity]

Cult of the Lamb Bishop Headcanons

By yours truly, whom can't play the game, and all knowledge of its lore stemming from the wiki and other's interpretations.

My own take on the revived/reborn bishops idea, inspired by those that had made their own, some in particular being @mossyflowers and @cultofthegugy , If you wish to implement these specific ideas to your art and/or story, let me know! and credit would be nice too.

Reborn Bishop's Traits

Besides the usual stuff like being reborn into a follower and losing all their power, Each Bishop still sustains the injury they've received from Narinder upon revival. As it feels to me that those wounds aren't the type heal, but they're reborn as if it healed over, but the damage is still there. Leshy is blind, Heket is mute, Kallamar is deaf and Shamura suffers with typical symptoms of mild traumatic brain injury, particularly short-term memory loss, headaches, dizziness and such. They keep scars of these injuries when they revived.

Narinder would be immune to old age, but wouldn't be immune to starvation, sickness, or any sort of attempt for his life, It's like a very small piece of the power he once had for ruling the domain of death, death won't come for him but if he stumbles into it it'll still take him. Therefore I feel that the others should gain the some boons too. Some of these are a bit of a stretch so feel free to suggest changes or even think up your own interpretations if you wish.

Leshy gains immunity to disorientation, any attempts to confuse him through startling, making many and loud noises, suprise him won't work. The Lamb would have him assigned in keeping order of the cult as they can keep a clear head while chaos ensues.

Heket gains immunity to starvation and poisoning, pretty self explanatory, assigned to deal with anything to do with food, especially cooking it. She wouldn't be inclined to sneakily eat the food supply or during cooking and her immunity to poison let's her check for suspicious substances in the food if anyone tries to sneakily put something that wasn't meant to be there. Immunity to poison because she is acclimated to toxins, There's no suprise that she who can dish out words so toxic and foul that even Narinder mentions it, can handle her own fair share of toxins.

Kallamar is immune to diseases, He's assigned as the doctor of the cult as he can effectively treat the sick without getting himself infected. And his immunity keeps him from getting scared of getting sick himself. Works for him as he isn't exactly fond of being around other people much. His familiarity with diseases and his cautiousness lends well with new role.

Shamura gains immunity to lies and trickery, their domain was knowledge but their knowledge is used offensively through tactics and strategy. No deception will work on them, as despite their constant headaches, seeing through facades is instinctive and accurate, quickly and strategically breaking through them with ease, their deduction is as sharp as ever. There's no other creature more capable of moving through thick web of lies than a spider. They deal with problems that arise between cult members, but the siblings often do their best to keep things from getting bad enough that it has to go through them as they didn't like disturbing them and causing them trouble.

Random Bishop Interactions

Heket has exaggerated way of expressing her emotions as she naturally compensate for her inability to speak. She often argues with Narinder and suprisingly Narinder quickly catches on with her way of communication. Some of the followers find the sight of the two arguing, with Heket making big gestures and expressive movements while hearing Narinder's remarks amusing. She can do sign language but once she gets impatient she instinctively just do gestures.

Shamura still loves Narinder and their new ability to see through lies and facade finally gave them the ability to truly know what Narinder felt about them. Because of this Shamura couldn't help but forgive Narinder quickly after their revival, but understands that their siblings are entitled to forgive him at their own pace. They enjoy seeing his true reactions whenever they say nice things about him.

Leshy despite being in charge of keeping order, occasionally ends up joining in with the ruckus when it ends up seeming to be fun. Chaos still run in his blood, but because of this he occasionally gets scolded for not doing his job. Leshy ends up being quite liked because of his mischievousness and keeps moral high.

Kallamar is often lock themselves up early on, being reborn to a measly follower made them feel more vunerable than ever. But despite this he learns to takes pride to his new role as the doctor and it allowed him to acclimate with the other members on a slower pace.

All the other bishops loved and cared about Narinder in their own way, But Narinder only truly felt that with Shamura, spending time with them when reborn will open Narinder's eyes to how they saw him, and how they all loved and cared about him.

Heket became particularly aggressive towards Narinder when he started becoming too ambitious with power because she as the Bishop of Famine hated greed in particular. His greed for power she didn't think he needed nor deserved rubs her the wrong way. Greed is often one of the causes of famine and she knew that if Narinder grew greedy for power, it'll be her and her siblings in danger. Awhile after being reborn she eventually somewhat makes up with Narinder when Narinder sees that they're both quite alike, both come across as rude and cold towards others, thinking being soft is weakness, fear being a good way to control others, and him learning why she's so aggressive towards him in particular, and learning to atleast try to get along for the sake of their siblings.

Narinder grows some level of respect for his brother Kallamar as he demonstrates that while he may be fearful and cowardly, this trait often kept both of them safe during missions as he's preparedness and cautiousness proved to be quite useful. Not to mention that when forced into a fight, fights incredibly fiercely without sacrificing caution. Though they also often take much longer to do missions because of him taking the long route of things every time.

Leshy wasn't that quick to forgive Narinder, but his anger towards him is often quickly got replaced by his excitement to finally be an older brother. He was so excited to finally have a younger brother to guide himself but things went by so quickly and before he knew it, Narinder betrays them.

All the siblings share deep respect for their eldest Shamura and often becomes the reason why they try to get along despite not wanting to otherwise.

Outro? Stuff

This is my first time for awhile making any sort of headcanons thing and certainly my first long one so please be nice to me sob

Do go check out @mossyflowers and @cultofthegugy ! I think they make cool art.

[pkmnherpetology]

Hi! first time asker, so i apologize if this has been brought up already, but;

Are all fossil pokemon rock type by default? or do they attain rock type during the revivification/cloning process?

If the latter, do you think that one day it'll be possible to revive more type-accurate extinct pokemon?

And finally, If fossil pokemon aren't originally rock type, is there any connection to the rock typing acquired in this way, and mega-aerodactyl's stone protrusions? There's no way those cumbersome spikes are natural for a flying type, right?

hi!!

so, i'm actually a herpetologist, not a paleontologist, but i'll do my best to answer.

1.) most likely, some fossils develop the rock type as a result of the cloning process. however, some, like cranidos and rampardos, were probably what we would classify as rock types when their ancestors were still alive. typing is more of a description of a species' ecological niche and bodily adaptations, so trying to discern whether or not all fossils would have had the same typing when their ancestral forms were extant is difficult and relies on a lot of reconstruction of what the ancestral forms looked like and what their ecology was like.

2.) reviving pokémon in general is an ongoing process. for the most part, with the exception of whatever in arceus' name is going on in fucking galar, we've seen a lot of improvement and the ability to revive species that have little to no extant relatives, or don't have any very close living relatives. fossil research was going on long before trainers were able to privately own species recreated by fossil cloning, and the fact that we now have clones that are healthy and stable enough (again, there is a big asterix over whatever the shit is happening in galar here, if i ever get my hands on cara liss i'm feeding her to my drednaw girlboss) to be kept as partners is a good sign for what we'll be able to accomplish in the future!

3.) to be perfectly honest with you, i don't know. mega evolution has been a very hot topic in the scientific community and while i'm not at liberty to explain more than this (for some reason the league is being very hush-hush about it? it has something to do with a professor at a private grade school or something i don't know) there have been some discoveries here in paldea that have apparently led some of my colleagues and superiors at the university to come to the conclusion that mega evolution may actually be related to what the ancestral traits of a species are. if this is true, it would actually suggest that mega aerodactyl is closer to the ancestral traits of what we revived. of course, this would probably require some reworking of aerodactyl's biology as we understand it because, like you said, if the ancestral form looked like that it probably didn't fly as often as we assume it did.

[smolstarthief]

A Crossover/AU Concept (Hazbin Hotel x Persona 5 Royal)!

Ok so the concept in a nutshell (Hazbin S1 ending spoilers ahoy!):

Massive canon divergence obviously since S2 will probably contradict all of it (especially Lilith) buuut after recovering from his injuries, Alastor decides to as he puts it, "take a vacation" as part of a further recovery period so with Lucifer's (annoyed) help he was able to get a portal to Earth and a human disguise... In Tokyo which is already overwhelming to him (doesn't help that he stands out quite a bit) but it'll do since he can still do something "fun" there and boy does he!

Since radio is still a thing (just not as common these days), he decides to stir up some amusement and settles into an old abandoned station he ends up finding. He starts small but then gets more attention due to his rather unconventional way of broadcasting and darkly "quirky" sense of humor. He gets even more attention when he finds police at Shujin after Kamoshida's arrest and after some sneaking around (he still has his demon abilities just a tad bit limited), decides to have his next broadcast be about the scandal because why not? The current group of PTs are astonished when they listen in by chance, especially when he was able to quote their calling card word for word which is impossible since they all got confiscated (he stole one, also he gives somewhat of a compliment on the writing ("Somewhat vulgar but there is some elegance to it I guess...") so Ryuji feels a little vindicated).

The principal hears it and attempts an interview for damage control but ohhh boy Alastor just humiliates him which catches the group's attention more. Joker decides to take a risk and questions him which... Doesn't get anywhere by much other than Al finding the whole Phantom Thieves phenomenon "hilarious" with the public's reaction to it. One thing later leads to another and Joker makes a deal (thankfully not Al's kind of deal), leading him to unlock the Hunger Arcana of this setting (Lucifer would probably at best be Aeon like in P4G).

Alastor would also get put through the wringer in third semester! He disappears after Yaldy with no one having any luck finding him. I'm having Lilith be his contract holder there (People are either gonna love or hate how I'll depict her there (I'm personally more in the camp that Al's deal holder is Roo buuut Lilith fitted better for 3rd Semester's themes plus Mooki was dumb and delulu but not THAT dumb and delulu to collaborate with the Root of All Evil)... 🤭) and she notices his growing attachment to everyone and summons him. She also approached Maruki to offer her and Lute's services. Needless to say, most of Al's beginning in this arc was horrific as he gets subjected to torment as punishment from Lilith herself before being made into a follower for her to summon at her beck and call. He's the one who attacked Joker and Akechi as opposed to a random Shadow. They were later able to free him after a separate boss fight with him but he does not take the whole thing well at all.

Smaller details:

-I decided to apply my own HCs for Al's past since it will play a small role in his character development. Namely his relationship with his mother and father when he was alive. He'll even get a small design change post being freed. Nothing too drastic, just growing out his hair with a white streak and having a more auburn red color to his hair along with it being more wavy. Mostly to reflect his growth.

-The others will show up after growing concerned and then getting swept into the chaos.

-Vox will be a major antagonist for the Hazbin part of the crossover up to Yaldy Arc while Lilith and Lute take over in 3rd Semester.

Final note: This is labelled as an AU for a reason since it will no doubt not be super accurate to what happens in S2! Perhaps changes may be applied over time but just thought I'd make it clear ok? Cool!

[beesflowers]

𝓔𝓲𝓶𝓲 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓿𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓼

Characters: Eimi Ochida, Haruka Kiritani, Mafuyu Asahina, Emu Otori, Shiho Hinomori

Type: headcanons, fluff

Note: Just realized I didn't made any hcs of lovers for Eimi- Also she's not cannonically shipped by me with anyone so feel free to take your pick or maybe even suggest someone!

Haruka Kiritani

Their relationship would be most likely through idol career since that's mostly how they met in the first place... I mean... it's technically perfect but at the same time very risky! Eimi can't let it show too much to not loose her job and Haruka can't let it show because it'll go all around the internet in just a second!

As for their match... they're both rather calm and hardworking but also caring for others! So I just feel like they'd watch out after each other to make sure none of them is overworking themselves. They're also really quiet and rarely affectionate couple but actually really sweet!

"Haruka, you've been working out for 2 hours straight... let's take a break now, I'll give you a massage."

"Was it this long? Wel... alright. Even if I decline, I know you'll be persistant..."

"Ah- I'm sorry... I simply care about you. So I'd say it'd be the best if you stop for now or even today and we could get some comfort food after the massage?"

"Then best to order it! I didn't took my disguise with me today..."

Mafuyu Asahina

This choice might be surprising for some and I'm gonna spoil some backstory here but I want to give accurate hcs so! but both of the girls actually have bad relationship with their parents. Eimi is just noticing they're actually bad while Mafuyu stays slightly oblivious to that fact so far. And while purple haired girl can get emotionless in a second and actually shows her true self, green haired girl has small problem with that... untill she got into relationship with Mafuyu! She began trusting her and now just she knows her worries~

As for their relationship... they're helping each other in different ways! Eimi offers her girlfriend a place to stay when she decides to run off or have a break, while Mafuyu let's her lover get her emotions out into her shoulders and give her advices, and speak words she needed to hear.

"So, are you running away for good or did you made sleepover excuse again?"

"Sleepover."

"Fair enough. I'm happy to have you around then~"

Emu Otori

Chaotic ray of sunshine and her calm girlfriend who get's her out of trouble... that's relationship between them! But they're so different... you may ask yourself, how did they even got together? Well... Eimi fell for pink haired girl's childishness and how she can always brighten the mood! While Emu fell for green haired girl's ability of never being tired from her ideas and always indulging in them, thinking of better solution instead of straight up rejecting them, it showed she cares!

Plus, Emu doesn't need to worry about her family accepting Eimi, since she's naturally pretty formal and from rich family so she knows how to make good first impression. In fact, they may've even trusted their youngest sister when her girlfriend's around!

"Won... Wonderhoy, Eimi! Gues what I got for us today!!"

Wonderhoy, Emu~ Well... I'd guess it has something to do with the taiyaki you're hiding behind your back?"

"AH- How did you know?!! But yes! I wanted to have super fun date with you before show starts!"

Shiho Hinomori

Similiar with first pairing... both have actually rather similiar personalities! Not as much, but still rather similiar... except! Eimi is usually gentle with her remarks and suggestions, while Shiho can be considered a bit cold sometimes... but that never was a problem to green haired girl! In fact, she liked how she didn't hid anything nad spoke her mind out. As for gray haired girl... she liked dedication of the other girl towards her profession and the perfect advices she always gave.

And their relationship... both usually settle on quieter date's, when both can work on their stuff usually handholding or Eimi having her hand on her lover's lap if she's playing on bass. The manager is also working free for Leo/need since she can't help but help with their grow when she sees them and her girlfriend so motivated!

"Hm hm hm hm~♪"

"Peaky Peaky?"

"Yeah... but how did you know? I played it once to you and in it's demo..."

"I tend to remember your songs~"

[savofid]

So, just watched Dream's "The Truth" video and it got me thinking about my story with false allegations. I guess that's what a trigger is, huh? That it triggered me, but in a neutral way? Maybe leaning towards good? I dunno. I'm stoned and wanna vent. So, I guess warnings for some pretty intense shit like sa, a mention of miscarriage, some talk about psychiatric care, a mention of r*pe, and some emotional trauma? It's not gonna be a good time, but I'll feel better when I finish.

So, my older sister is complicated, in the way that realizing everything is made of math is complicated. It's a lot of jargon. She has a mutation of the MTHFR gene (?) that inhibits her body's ability to uptake and process Vitamin B12. As a result, she has a deficiency of Vitamin B12, and that can lead to a number of complications in one's life. She has a hard time bringing a child to term, having had multiple miscarriages before she was properly medicated and now has three daughters. It interferes with the body's ability to properly send certain chemical signals in the brain, leading to a number of psychiatric issues, often presenting as schizoeffective disorder. Her heart, at any time for no reason at all, can just sorta... Stop.

I could be mad at her for the things that she's done to people, but I can't. It's not even because she's my sister. I hate two of my sisters because they're horrible people, and I've never even met my oldest sister and don't plan to. Family don't mean shit to me. No, I can't hate her because it's not her fault. No one knew what was going on inside her body and she had to spend 3 years in an institution because of it. I can't imagine going through that.

However, using that as an excuse for her actions wouldn't be right. She still did them. She wasn't possessed by some demon. There was some part of her that wanted to do it. I know because I have anxiety and am a recovering alcoholic, both of which cause a ton of intrusive thoughts about things that part of me wants but the rest knows I shouldn't do, even if that part is extremely small and incredibly wrong, like hearing myself tell me to punch some guy in the face cause he "looked at me funny." He was facing the sun and squinting. What I'm saying is that there was SOME malice to her actions, some reason her delusions manifested as they did. It'll make more sense later.

During the summers, my birth mother had visitation rights for the entire summer, so we'd stay with her for three months. When I was 12, we were there and, one night, I heard my dad walk in. It's the middle of the summer and he's supposed to be across the state, back at our house. He and my older sister leave, and my birth mother won't talk about what's going on, and everything is incredibly confusing. I found out a few days later what happened.

My dad had gotten a phone call from the local police department asking for my older sister to appear before the police to give a witness statement. He asked why, and they said that she had accused his friend of having raped her.

My dad's friend, Ron, was a school bus driver, and had been arrested by the local police following the allegation that my older sister made that morning while at my birth mother's house. He had to sell his car to afford a decent lawyer, spent the night in jail, lost his job especially since my sister was a minor and he drives, ya know, a school bus. He almost had a divorce from his wife of 45 years. His grandson was my best friend.

On the drive across the state, my dad only said one thing to her: "When we get there, just tell them the truth." Mind you, my older sister is my dad's favorite. I didn't even know she was the favorite until 13 years after he died. He believed her. He didn't ask her any questions because he didn't want to influence her story in any way, make sure that it's as truthful and accurate as possible.

They finally get there, it's around midnight. My dad just drove six hours at the drop of a hat for his daughter. They take her to be interviewed, and she instantly admits that she lied. Her reason? She didn't feel like she was getting enough attention from my birth mother and didn't think it would get that bad. She stayed with my dad for the rest of the summer.

A year later, I'm at home, just having a regular day, and there's a knock at the door. My dad answers and it's... CYS? They say that my older sister, in a recent discussion with her caseworker, claimed that I was molesting her. They're here for an investigation into the allegations. First, they interview my older sister. I have to sit across the house and wait for it to be over. About an hour later, they have me come in to talk to them.

At this point, it's pretty late. My little sister is ready for bed and is going up the stairs to her bedroom, and we happen to be sitting on those stairs. Instead of going to bed, she sits down and does what she does best: make herself the center of attention. I'm telling this guy my side of the story, and she's there, making a cat dance in front of me. The investigator admitted to having ADHD ("Adult ADD" as he said it, so I assume, in today's terms, that would be ADHD diagnosed in adulthood), and was having a difficult time focusing on what I have to say. Meanwhile, the time he spent with my older sister was uninterrupted and quiet.

Following their investigation, I was given a choice: I could either stay with a friend that didn't have any sisters, or I could live in the local group home. I knew some of the kids at the group home and knew that I did not want to be there, so I picked the one friend I had that I knew didn't have any sisters, my best friend at the time. He's an only child and his parents adore me and treat me like their own kid already. And, of course, they let me stay as long as I needed to. "It'll only be a few weeks, " says CYS.

I'm there for 6 months. Meanwhile, we're still going to school together. She was in a different building than me, so, by the time I heard that she was telling people about it, it had gone from "inappropriate touching" to that I had raped her. My reputation was shot. Everyone fucking hated me. I was already getting bullied before, so imagine how it went when rumors like that started spreading. I'd be bullied to the point of tears and even the teachers heard the rumors, so they didn't do anything about it. It took me two years to undo the damage she did because, in the court of public opinion, an accusation is worse than any verdict.

Speaking of verdicts, you can imagine there were many riveting court sessions during the 6 months I was pulled from my home. Usually one every couple of weeks cause I'm literally on trial for molestation as a fucking 13 year old who has no idea what's going on and I literally just now realized, 19 years later, that that's what that was. Holy fucking shit. What. I feel like I'm short circuiting and now I feel really fucking bad. Why do I feel bad? Oh, cause I was so used to "going to court" being for like family shit that it never occurred to me that it could be for anything else. I... Don't know what to do with this information?

Okay, maybe it wasn't a possibly somewhat good trigger. I guess I did say that it's not gonna feel good, and the only person who's gonna read this is me, so I was warning myself. And potentially you, ever mysterious reader who has no reason to be here, if you even exist at all? Anyways, I'm gonna fight through the melting brain and try to get to my point here.

After those 6 months and the now realization of having been on trial, it was determined that my sister has schizoeffective disorder, resulting in delusions brought on by an inability to determine the difference between reality and fantasy at times. The doctors postulated that she likely dreamed that it happened and believed it to be real.

Now, the only people who didn't believe my sister were the ones who knew both her and me. Even my birth mother saw the holes in her story and, during the trial, said, "Well, I don't think she's telling the truth. She's twice his size and she knows it. Any time he's done something she doesn't like, she hits him or throws him. If he really did try that and she didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't've happened. She would've left him so busted up that I probably would've needed to take him to the hospital. She would've broken him in half."

My dad said a lot of the same thing, even commenting, "I think I only recall one instance in which his hand touched her chest. They were wrestling on his bed, and she jumped up from the floor. He put his hand out to try to stop her from crashing into him, and it landed right... Ya know, *there.* He immediately pulled his hand away, but she punched him in the face, threw him on the floor, and managed to kick him a few times in the back before I could pull her off of him. She didn't care that it was an accident. She would've killed him if he did it on purpose."

I don't mean this as a way to say that my older sister beat me or whatever. I left her with just as many bruises as she left me. We were kids. We fought. We played rough. We used to throw those unopened and resinous pinecones at each other for fun, like they were dodgeballs or grenades. We just beat the shit out of each other all the time, and it was always 2v1, my little sister and older sister vs me (the three kids my birth parents had together, me having a total of 8 siblings including prior marriages and one affair). At 12 years old, I was 4'8" tall and 60 lbs. I was tiny. She, at 14, was 5'5" and 120 lbs. Twice my weight, 9" taller, and a lot stronger than she looks. She used to throw me by one arm and one leg for fun. I was the one that asked her to do throw me.

Now, you'd think it ends there. She went to a mental hospital, I went home, and then successfully quashed all the rumors overnight when it was determined that I was innocent. Life ain't movies.

During my time with my best friend, he slowly revealed that he was attracted to me. I was not attracted to him for a multitude of reasons, not just cause he's a dude. I mean, I like some guys, just didn't know that yet. Anyways, he started doing some stuff like trying to get me to touch his genitals or just outright grabbing mine, or walking in on me while I'm in the shower... Multiple times per shower. And a lot of other things that I just don't wanna talk about right now even though I probably already have. I, me, the reader and writer, know what they are, so I don't really need to?

Whatever.

The dude was sexually assaulting me on a regular basis and then threatening to get me kicked out of his house if I tell anyone about it, or that he'll claim that I admitted to him that I did it, or whatever heinous thing he can think of. I had to share a bed with him for half of the time I stayed there.

On top of that, I've got people basically ready to execute me at school. The game of broken telephone turns "inappropriate touching" into "rape," and the only thing that keeps them from actually trying to kill me is the fistfight I get into with the guy I'm living with. People still talked and still treated me like shit, but it just became a game of trying to figure out how far is too far. They had full rein to try, too, cause, like I said, the teachers had heard the rumors, too, and some believed it.

I had to go to therapy every Wednesday at 1 PM. The therapist I had... Wasn't very good, to put it lightly. You know, the common thing in therapy, often regardless of your methodology, is to let the patient lead the session, right? You merely give them the push to get started, and then it's merely a dialogue that the patient is leading. What would happen with this guy is that I would sit down, there'd be a little bit of small talk, and then he'd ask, "So, tell me about an interesting dream you had this past week."

He was obsessed with my dreams. I dream in super high detail and can remember them very vividly, which he found fascinating, I guess. He said he found my dreams fascinating, but was never really clear about what aspect he seemed to enjoy, so I'm just assuming it was the vividness. Next, he would then try to analyze that dream, and was incredibly Freudian about it. I mean both literally and figuratively.

On one hand, it's that symbols and signs in dreams have objective, universal meanings completely devoid of one's specific culture, beliefs, or upbringing. Red means danger. Ignore the fact that they associate it with good luck in China.

On the other hand, he manages to project his own feelings onto someone else's situation by not only telling me that a dream about my little sister being scared of a snake, so I took a shovel and killed it, that that dream means I want to sleep with my little sister. Not only that, but he also then tries to tell me that it's okay to have thoughts like that.

No. No it is not okay to have thoughts like that. It's also especially not okay to tell children that it is okay to have thoughts like that. What the actual FUCK is wrong with you? "Well, the snake represents the phallus." No, the snake is a representation of general bad stuff due to the fact that my dad just finished writing a book with heavy Christian tones and it's about to get published, so I'm afraid that it being successful can cause problems within the family. "No, no. I'm the professional here. I know what I'm talking about, and it's okay to have those thoughts." No. It. Is. Not.

So, we've got the sexual abuse by my only remaining friend, becoming a pariah, having an absolute creep as a therapist... What else? Oh, right. The complete and crippling anxiety I feel that, at any time, someone can just ruin my life with a few simple words. The first three were temporary, but that one is permanent. Now, I know that most people don't do things like this on a regular basis. Most people's brains operate the way we think they're supposed to. Most people don't have a super particular condition only detectible with a genetic test specifically for that one thing, or a general malice for anyone they can victimize, or are incapable of remorse. Most people are just people, and the vast majority of people don't know I exist. However, there's still that constant hum of "But it could happen again. Can I deal with it again?"

This one's gonna sound, I dunno, like a pittance compared to that, but I'm genuinely still mad about it. I raised fish for 5 years. I had a 50 gallon, a 30 gallon, a 22 gallon, two 20 gallons, and two 10 gallon fish tanks. I did all the work to maintain them myself, only getting help from my dad in starting the siphon for the monthly water changes. I developed my own breed of Corydoras catfish at 11. I fucking loved my fish, and the collective weight of all those tanks literally cracked the foundation of the house. For five years, I took care of them, learned a ton, did all my research into aquascaping and what species prefer what qualities of water and temperature ranges and where in the water column they like to hang out and their temperament and any detail I could find about each species before I added it to a tank. I was obsessed and this might be one of those "*ding!* You're probably autistic" moments but I'd prefer a formal diagnosis before I'd feel comfortable saying that I am.

So, I was gone for 6 months. All the work I was doing with those fish was mine alone. I was the only person in the house who knew how to do it in the first place. Can you guess the state of 162 gallons of water and it's respective fish? If you said "green and dead," you'd be mostly correct! While I was away, my older sister decided to make... An addition to my 50 gallon tank. The local pet shop, where I got all of my fish and was a known regular, had had this pair of angelfish longer than I had lived there. They lived alone in the same tank right by the door. She convinced my dad to buy them.

Had I been present for that conversation, we never would've gotten them, because I had already done my research. The fish we typically think of when we hear angelfish is a variety of Cichlid, like Oscars and Tilapia. A thing about Cichlids is that many of them are incredibly aggressive to fish they don't recognize. As a result, unless they were raised in that tank alongside other fish, they only see their tank mates as competition or prey.

All this to say that I came home to a bunch of algae ridden tanks, disgusting filters, rotting plants, and two very fat angelfish. My bumblebee gobies are gone. My iridescent sharks are okay but the smaller one is gone. My Corydoras are gone. My various tetras and mollies, gone. My gouramis are gone. The few fish left are the aforementioned iridescent sharks that were big enough to pose a threat and my plecos. I wanted to kill those angelfish, but decided that we should just return them to the store cause they're not acting out of hate or anger. They're animals and acting on instincts. They can't control that. They're innocent.

The one thing I lost and can never regain is her as a sister. I don't hate her. I know she has her issues and, yeah, maybe she wanted to hurt me, but plenty of people wanna hurt me. Most people don't. I'm not gonna try to claim I know why she wanted to do that as much as I can about anyone else that has hurt me. Maybe she really did dream that it happened. I wanna hate her, but can't bring myself to do it, no matter how much I suffered as a result. However, I can't, in sound mind and good conscious, maintain contact with her. In the event that she tries to say anything like that ever again, I don't know if I could deal with it. I'd probably completely shatter and... I don't really wanna think about that. For the sake of my own sanity and the tiniest sliver of peace of mind, I just don't interact with her at all. I've seen her once in 17 years, and that was at another sister's wedding... Where she was sent to stay in a hotel after a day and a half due to her not even acknowledging the fact that her children were causing issues and stressing that sister out. Talked to her all of five minutes.

This is by no means me saying to not tell someone if something happens to you. Please do! Don't be like me and mentally fucked for life due to shit that happened to me at the hands of someone else. It's not your fault, don't believe them. However, the people who use an accusation as a weapon do a lot more damage than they think, even if the intent is to deal as much damage as possible to that person. You're not only hurting them, you're hurting the credibility of everyone who actually is a victim of molestation, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and rape. Five different people, two were blood relatives, two were people close to me, and one was just a guy in high school that spent weeks trying to pressure me into letting him suck my dick, even trying to force me to do it in exchange for giving me a ride to work after the SATs. Fuck you, Chris. No means no. Back on track, three were women, two were men. I'm not gonna say that my experience can be extrapolated out to the public at large, mostly cause I don't want to think that the average victim has gone through as much or more than I have because that just makes me wanna cry that so people can be so terrible to others. It's been a while since I had a good cry, though. What I am gonna say is that it's already so hard to be heard when you just want someone to believe you in what is likely the worst time of your life, and making everyone look like a cry for attention just makes it worse. My mom doesn't believe that my 3rd ex raped me. She says she doesn't even know who that is, and that's my mom. She's supposed to be in MY corner and couldn't care less. My roommate cared when I told him, though. One of three hugs he's ever initiated with me in the 11 years I've known him. I'm so thankful to have him. I'm probably gonna marry him someday, even if it's just for tax purposes... He'll still be my husband and you better believe I'm calling him that. Love that man to death.

When people say, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best," they haven't met me. He has learned more about emotions from me than he has from everyone else in his entire life combined. That's his own words. He's seen me at a variety of different edges, the highest highs, the lowest lows, bursting at the seams and completely devoid of anything. He's literally the reason I didn't off myself on two separate occasions, because I don't wanna leave him alone in this world. While he says he just wants to live away from everyone else, it's followed up with, "Except you. You can be there, too." He's been in more of my dreams than both my parents combined, and we've never stood in opposition to one another in any of them. We're always fighting together. We're just a pair of rocks.

I knew I'd feel better at the end. I fucking love my roommate. I might ask him for a hug when he wakes up.

[handwriting-headcanons]

My dumbass deleted my request thing so mamma mia, here we go again

DNI

Transphobes

Homophobes

Ablests

Racists

Toxic shippers

Those who support things like pedophilia or incest (if it's fictional I'm not going to attack you, it just makes me uncomfy so you may be blocked)

Pro e/d / s/h

blank blogs! I will assume you're a bot and report you!

As a general rule, you'll probably be fine as long as you're respectful and a decent human being

Request Info!

I will write a handwritten note from a character either to the reader or to another character. I will try my best to come up with a unique handwriting style for them, but I'm a beginner at changing my handwriting so be patient, please!

Requests are currently open!! (more info below cut because it's long af lol)

I will try my best to write for any character, but I can't promise it'll be super in character for anyone from the media not listed below:

Genshin Impact

The band Ghost

BNHA/MHA

HxH (I'm not finished, so also may not be totally accurate)

Demon Slayer (same as listed above, not finished lol)

Nijisanji EN (not writing about the people behind the characters, writing about the characters themselves! also may be a bit inaccurate if it's someone I don't watch a ton!)

I will try my best to write for most other fandoms/media, but again, I can't promise accuracy if I don't know the source well!!

Things I will NOT write

The Harry Potter books/world. There's a shit ton of discriminatory ideas in those books, if you want something about that ask someone else to write it.

NSFW (I am a minor and would be very uncomfortable with that. Slightly suggestive content is fine though, but I have the right to refuse your request if it's too suggestive.)

Certain character x character ships at my discretion.

If the source material is problematic, there's a good chance I won't write about it. Feel free to dm me or send me an ask regarding this though!

Super long letters. Try to keep it like 200-ish words MAX. Writing in a different handwriting is stressful on my joints and I can't do it for long!

Super dark content. While I read some dark content sometimes, I feel that writing it would impact my mental health too much. Some slight dark content is fine, just don't go overboard

Pedophilia or incest

Abusive relationships

Things I WILL write

Some ships. See above. I am fine with poly ships! (romantic or platonic)

Character x reader notes (romantic or platonic)

The fandoms in that list above

romantic or platonic notes (nothing too suggestive though, as stated above. If you're unsure if it's too suggestive feel free to send an ask or dm me so I can evaluate it.)

Fluff

Hurt/comfort (to the best of my ability with a single letter/note lol)

Letters and notes about 200-ish words or less. Preferably less, as writing puts a lot of stress on my joints

Scripted notes (you tell me exactly what you want it to say)

"Freestyle" notes (you just give me some details and I go crazy lol)

Things to note!

Requests can take anywhere from a few days to like 2-ish weeks to complete! Please be patient, I'm both neurodivergent and physically disabled, so it can be hard for me to complete things quickly. It also takes a while for me to formulate a handwriting style for a character if I haven't written for them before."Freestyle" notes will generally take longer than scripted notes, as I have to actually do a bit of research on the characters if I don't know them well, and I also have to come up with the actual letter content!

If you're not sure if I'll take a request, just ask! Always feel free to send an ask or dm me! If you take the time to ask if you're unsure, I'm more likely to accept the request because it shows you respect me and my boundaries :)

If you want a request longer than 200 words, please dm me before sending the request! Please confirm that you understand it will likely take much longer than a regular request since there's so much writing to do!

I use a mixture of graphology and just ~vibes~ to come up with the handwriting. If you want it to look a certain way, please include that in your ask!

How to request (format basically)

Please provide me with the character's name(s), the relationship to the reader/other character(s), and what they would call the reader/other character(s) (pet names, nicknames, etc). It would be great to provide me with a small description of the character, even if they're from the media listed above! I want to know how you view the character and how they act, think, etc! This is not necessary, however. I also would appreciate it if you told me any headcanons or details you want me to include (like if you want an AU or something). If there's anything else you want me to know or include, also put that in the ask!

[nevermindirah]

game thingy: 🎢 🎯 🤗 <3

Hiiiiiiiiiii <33333333333

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

I think I have to give this one to you have the right to lose control. The rapid-fire veering between friends-to-lovers fluff and politics and cameos with all that kink in between is hilariously chaotic looking back on it. No impulse control, just like Nile!

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Oooooooooh this is such a good question! I'm not thinking of a specific instance so I might have to come back to this. 🤔

Well, there's all those times you and I have been tossing around ideas and I'm trying to draw out the suspense and you start screaming ARE THEY GONNA KISS

Because yes. They're gonna kiss. They're always gonna kiss.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Write things that bring you joy! Write things that you enjoy thinking about while you're writing them, because sentence structure and word choice and all that mechanics stuff is a bitch and no matter how much you love a story it'll get frustrating sometimes, so it's important to enjoy lots of aspects of the writing to counterbalance the inevitable annoying parts.

Take shortcuts! I recently put a post in my queue about "not sure how to transition one scene to the next? don't write a transition at all, throw us into the next scene, just put a little separator bar in between them, readers will go with it!" This is GREAT advice. Writing's a craft that you build over time, and even when you have a ton of experience and skill, sometimes you want a story to exist but you don't have the energy to make it everything you can imagine it could be, and that's totally ok! Write the parts you're most excited about and string them together with the laziest most formulaic one-sentence explanation of what could otherwise be several chapters if that's what you need to do. Zero shame. This is a hobby

Sometimes it's wonderful to stretch yourself and do things the hard way. I'd never written anything longer than a few thousand words when I started writing I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore and I bit off WAY more than I could chew with that story. Looking back now, with all the experience I've gained in the past almost 2 years and over a hundred thousand more words, there's a lot I would do differently — but writing that fic is how I learned the things that I brought to everything I've written since. If you've got an idea for a story that feels too big for your abilities, it might work best for you to put it on hold and try some easier things first, or it might work best to write the essence of it with lots of shortcuts, or the time might be right to stretch yourself. You don't ever have to stretch yourself if you don't want to. If you decide you want to, and you have the energy to devote to what might be a long process, I can tell you it's rewarding as hell.

Most of all, write things you want to read! I absolutely adore comments and reblogs and screaming messages but my number one audience is me. This is crucial for me as a person with ADHD — there is absolutely no amount of external reward or punishment that can hold a candle to that internal sense of "OOH SHINY" in terms of causing me to accomplish a task. I've struggled for a long time in many parts of my life with following through on long-term projects, and it's been honestly pretty healing for me to get to read and re-read my own fics and soak up the satisfaction of having completed something that I now get to enjoy.

Writing gifts and stuff like that for other people is a lovely part of the social stuff of fandom but you may never get the amount or kinds of validation you might want for your writing. That's nothing against you, hypothetical writer just starting out, that's because sometimes people are too tired to leave a comment on your fic they loved, or they might not say the words you were hoping to hear, any number of things that aren't personal but still can be a bummer when you're waiting for those AO3 comment emails. But no matter what feedback you do or don't get from others, you'll always have the pleasure of experiencing as a reader what you've made as a writer. Hey look, this super cool person named Past Me wrote these fics all about my favorite characters with only my favorite tropes and none of my squicks, fuck yeah!

[rederiswrites]

I think umm...I think we really like to focus on recovering from trauma as a journey to feel safe again, to realize that our minds are overreacting and we can calm down sometimes. But that hasn't been my experience of trauma recovery really at all. I'd like to present a different journey. Not one that will work for everyone, but it might work better for you.

I learned in my childhood that the world is not safe, and not everyone can be trusted to have my best interests in mind. Recovery has not been a process of unlearning that. I am 40, have many loving relationships, and feel largely in control of my emotions, but not because I unlearned it. Because it was true.

The world is NOT safe. You CAN'T trust everyone. The things I experienced as a child were not only real, but ordinary. They weren't exceptional. They weren't evil or even really all that malicious. They were just damaged people doing damaged things. Not universal of course, but frankly mundane. The lessons I took away from that chronic lack of safety and control were correct.

I learned to be wary. To conceal my emotions and reactions from people I didn't trust, which was anyone who hadn't proved themselves already. To read people's intentions quickly and accurately. To avoid disappointment. By and large, those lessons have proved extremely useful. I had to learn to be happy as an adult, of course, which involved a certain amount of self sabotage along the way, but I got there. I am aware that my experience is not universal. I'm taking about it because it's underrepresented.

My path to recovery was becoming a person who can deal with a world that hurts. I survived, I stood up, I got out. I became stronger than him, and stronger than the circumstances I'd been trapped in. I built a life he had no power over. And eventually, I looked him in the face after decades of separation and I was stronger than him. I knew it and he knew it. He wouldn't have been abusive if he was actually strong.

Life is not "safe", none of us has plot armor, none of us is the protagonist. Bad things happen all the time. My uncle had a stroke last week and his left side is currently paralyzed. My best friend fell down the stairs the other day and is going to be on crutches in a boot for weeks. Another friend is realizing at 36 that her entire life till now has been what she thought she was supposed to do and not what she wanted. She's getting a divorce after almost two decades of marriage, and trying to figure out how to support herself with major health problems and a decades old degree. She's terrified. All my doctors' appointments this year seem to be leading to at least three separate major diagnoses, and I spend most of my time now unable to "chase my dreams". Bad things happen all the time.

But I've survived the ones I faced before with style, and I'll get through these things and help everyone else while I'm at it. I know because it's TRUE, because I've LIVED it. And that's what I want for you all.

I hate platitudes. I hate "affirmations". I'm not interested in blowing smoke up your asses. I get the twitches when I hear, "it's ok". When I hear, "everything will be fine." Fuck. We don't need to lie to ourselves! My strength won't fail me in the middle of the night because it's not based on my ability to cling to pretty stories. It's based on the times I stared my problems in the face and made them feel bad about themselves. Basing your feelings of personal safety on clinging to the illusion that nothing bad will happen just means that it'll fall apart every time something bad happens!

You got through all the shit that's happened to you so far. Learn what there is to learn from that. The longer you do this, the better you can get at it. The next bad thing will have to be much worse than the things you've already survived if it wants to take you down. THAT, you can believe in.

[hqprotectionsquad]

Dating! For Science (Kuroo x Reader)

this is for my bestie, ate, and just wonderful person to know, io!!! i’ve gotten to know you over the past few months from the network and let me tell you, it’s probably the best decision i’ve made concerning this fandom. i know this isn’t easy, but you take all of your responsibilities with such grace and i’m always inspired by you. i don’t know anyone else who would have their nickname on the server be writeiolite (lara’s #1 fan) and that just makes me so happy. you make me so happy!! because of you, i have true friends from around the world and of different ages and i actually write!! i’m so honored to know you and i just love you so much. thank you for being you, io! i hope you have a wonderful birthday <3

summary: Kuroo’s tweaking his AI program for his senior thesis and he just needs one thing left to make this true to life: a fake girlfriend. After deliberation, you step in so that he can avoid hurting his reputation and another girl’s heart. What could really go wrong? pairing: Kuroo x F!Reader tw: cursing word count: 3010 a/n: lightly inspired by Black Mirror and the episode “White Christmas” even though that episode doesn’t really have anything to do with fake dating? i was more inspired by their ability to go into someone’s mind, thus leading to the AI aspect of this fic!

There's something about Kuroo that has always drawn you to him. Maybe it was his eyes, his height or hair. You still don’t quite know. But ever since your second year of college, your eyes never left that rooster-headed man. Lucky you; he chose the seat next to yours over the other ones in the lecture hall because he claims you had the best spot, so "sitting next to you is the next best choice."

It's been two years since then, and he won't leave you alone. He insists this is for the best because his best friend doesn't attend college near you two and you're the closest friend he has. Over everyone, Kuroo Tetsurou chose you and will continue to choose you, and you don't really understand why.

The moonbeams shoot into the room through the window. Lately, you've been needing to stay over at his apartment, just to make sure he's still alive. He's been begging the world for his artificial intelligence program to work. He wants something fresh and unpredictable to present for his senior thesis, something that his classmates would envy at and the committee would be in awe of. He'll defend his program swinging, you know that for sure. After moments of just sitting on the edge of his bed, watching him hunch over his desktop computer, the chair swishes and he turns to look at you. "(Y/N), can you proofread this for me?"

“What is it?” You stand to get a closer look and you guide the chair back to the correct rotation. Your arm hangs around his shoulders as you slot your eyes to see better. “Is this a—”

“It’s a girlfriend application.”

“Tetsu, what the hell?”

“What?” His palms face towards the ceiling as his forehead creases. “I need to make my AI as accurate as possible. How else am I going to make it realistic?”

Now, you tilt your head. “You...you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

Kuroo’s lips drag into a frown and he shuts his eyes for a few seconds as if he’s shutting off the rest of the world. “You don’t have to say it like that.”

“But Tetsu, you’re so charismatic. I thought you must have had a few girlfriends by now.” You think back to all of the times you’ve attended parties with him. He’s essentially been the life of the party and he’s always had people surrounding him while playing beer pong or just funneling drinks down his throat. How could have not had a girlfriend at this age considering his background?

“You don’t have to shove it in my face.” Kuroo drags his fingers down his eyes, nose, and lips. 

“You’ve had hookups, I’m sure?”

“Yeah, but a girl sneaking out of my bed at seven in the morning isn’t the same as having a full-on relationship.” Under his breath, he says, “I wish it was because then I’d be having hookups left and right.”

“You’re so weird.” You laugh at his comment and soon enough, he’s laughing along with you. You settle back on the edge of the bed and he follows suit.

His body weight sinks into the mattress, bringing part of you down with him. "It's one of the last parts of the project, and you know I've been working on it for a while now. I just want my program to be as real as it can get. I know it'll be flawed, but I've got to try to make it perfect as I can, you know?"

"Yeah." You mutter, trying to drown out your blaring thoughts. What you're thinking right now...it's absurd and you shouldn't have it on your mind. But if it all worked out, then maybe you'd— "Kuroo, what if I was your fake girlfriend? For maybe a month, give or take. This way, you don't scare people off and you're with someone you already know."

You can tell he's considering it, based on the way his eyes dart in many ways. "But shouldn't the point of dating be that you get to know someone new?" Kuroo's eyebrow slides up and it's hard to believe that he's never had a proper relationship before. "I know you fairly enough."

"You know me as a friend. It's different when you approach someone as a girlfriend and it's different when it's a hookup," you justify. "I don't even know your favorite color, and I'm pretty sure you don't know mine."

"Isn't it purple?"

You'll be honest, you've never really considered yourself as a "favorites" person who naturally sought out what they loved the most. You found better use of your time instead of boring through magazine quizzes to show what you liked the best. But after thinking, you shake your head. "It's red."

“Why red?” He asks and it brings you back to all of the photos you’ve seen of Kuroo in his old high school volleyball uniform. He’s shown you many and when you first saw them, you were surprised he didn’t comment on how you were biting your lip or looking back and forth to see how he’s changed. And he really hasn’t done much of changing except for growing an inch taller and his hair being somewhat neater, but he looked so confident when he was on the court. The red fabric of his uniform hugged his figure in all the right places. The photo where he’s speaking to all of his teammates—would it be wrong to say you swooned? 

It’s his color. Even now, if he searches through his drawers and checks his hangers, his current wardrobe will have splatters of red all over. Maybe red wasn’t really anything to you until you met him. Because it is his, it is now yours.

“Because it’s a passionate color. It’s love, anger, pain; it’s everything.” For a moment, you forget why you’re here and you have this stupid grin on your face, and then you remember and reality pulls you back. “I’ll be your fake girlfriend.”

“Are you sure? Because I don’t want this to be the reason why we end up falling apart, because you’re a really great friend to me and I love our friendship—” He’s speaking at a pace of a million miles a minute and you’re lucky you can even hear the words he’s saying.

You nod your head once. “I’m sure.”

While you don’t start off anything that day because Kuroo said he wanted to plan everything out before you begin, you also take that day to just be friends and bask in the current relationship you have with one another. Everything’s going to change from this point on, and you know it and he knows it.

You’ve got to admit it; the next time you meet, you’re scared of what’s to come. How do you greet him? How will he take all of his emotions and collate it into data for his prototype? Don’t you feel like you’re being used?

But you volunteered for this. You told him he should date — fake date — someone he already knows. You just wanted that person to be you. Seeing him with someone else would just be twisting a knife into your side. At least you get to control your feelings in this situation.

“(Y/N), it’s good to see you,” Kuroo greets you as you find him in the restaurant you were meeting in. He stands to hug you and you’ll admit, he’s actually trying to form a meaningful relationship, of some sort at least.

“Thanks for buying me dinner, boyfriend,” you wink as you say the last word. He even pushes in your chair when you go to sit. Kuroo settles across from you. He mentions something about already ordering for the two of you but you can’t really focus because he’s wearing an outfit you’ve never seen before. Yeah, those are jeans and a t-shirt, but his winter coat hugs his sides in a way you’d never expect. Your hope is that he actually dressed up for you.

After a waiter comes by your table to place your plates of noodles, Kuroo unloads his information for the AI prototype and he’s not afraid to release it all at once.

“So I have these guidelines I typed up for you,” he hands over this folder. It’s incredibly neat, as you expected of him, but there has to be over ten pages in here. Guessing by the first page, none of the papers will have blank space. “It’s just outlining my hypothesis, my expectations, all of that. You might not have to read it all because it's mostly for my records, but I highlighted the things that I think would be most helpful."

You wipe your hands with the napkin from the table and sift through the materials. "Tetsu, you highlighted mostly the whole thing," you mutter. Taking a glance at the expectations page, you raise your eyebrows. "You said that you expect to not fall in love with me?"

Kuroo bites his lip. "It's more like if I write that down, then it has a better chance of coming true. You'll only need to date me for as long as I need to collect experiences and data. I don't want to let you go as a friend."

You don't bother to respond because you've moved on to the rest of the page. "Wait, you want us to consummate our relationship?" You say this almost too loudly, and Kuroo taps your hand repeatedly to tell you to lower your voice. You press your palm to your lips and after seeing nobody is looking in your direction, your hand returns to the table. “Are you being serious here, Kuroo?”

Kuroo sighs. "I was just thinking that sex would also help in gaining experience."

“You’ve had hookups before.”

“Well, isn’t sex different if you have it with someone you’re dating?” Kuroo can’t quite meet your eyes when he says this.

“So what, we’re essentially friends with benefits now?” You bite back your silly smile and wait for his reaction.

His mouth opens and closes. Finally, he says, “I don’t want to say yes, but basically.” After a beat, his words rush out, “You’re still my girlfriend. That’s established. Girlfriend with many rules and such. Fake girlfriend.” He emphasizes on the word fake, and suddenly, it becomes your least-favorite f-word.

Still, you smile. “Fake girlfriend it is.”

You’re thrown into everything pretty quickly. He introduces hand-holding, and soon after, kisses. He’ll come pick you up after your classes for dates. “For science,” he says all the time. You really can’t believe he’s not your real boyfriend because he’s such a great kisser and after this all ends, his lips will no longer belong to you. Your heart says you should, but knowing he literally writes down his observations after you do anything romance related, your brain says absolutely not.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve began “dating” Kuroo Tetsurou. He blames the duration of time on the project, and now, this contracted relationship has an "indefinite" completion, says Kuroo. Through all of the dates, cuddling, and etcetra, he’s probably the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. That’s not saying too much, but whoever you date next will not be able to match up with Kuroo. There are definitely times when you forget that this is all for his artificial intelligence thesis because it all feels so natural, especially when you hold his hand while walking down the street, and when you catch him smiling down at you just for a few seconds. He’s not perfect and you hate it when he talks with food in his mouth, but everything else is pretty good.

Or at least you thought.

“(Y/N),” he calls out when you’re at his apartment on a Saturday afternoon. Nowadays, you’re at Kuroo’s place. You have study sessions with him, eat dinners, and close off nights with his arm around you when you watch a movie. He’s seen almost all the parts of you and you don’t even mind. He molds a spot for himself in your heart and he doesn’t even know it. All he knows is that you’re the fake girlfriend for his project, and maybe a trial girlfriend before he truly finds the one he loves.

You’re digging into the refrigerator, scanning the shelves and drawers to find a perfect movie snack. Would chocolates and gummy worms go well together? Or maybe fruit for a change...

“(Y/N), come here,” Kuroo reiterates as he’s relaxing on the couch in the other part of the apartment. After you find your snacks — you give into the dark chocolate to pair with the salty popcorn — you make it over to the living room, settling the candy on the coffee table.

“What’s up, babe?” Pet names flow out easy like the water in a river and you don’t know when it started, but it turns out Kuroo has taken a particular liking to this one. You settle in close, tucking yourself into his side with his arm still resting on the top of the couch.

“I was thinking about the AI thing,” Right, because this isn’t supposed to be real. “I think sex is the next thing we have to accomplish and I think that’s essentially all I need for the project.”

You have to blink a few times, just to make sure those were the words that came out of his mouth. You shift your body to face him and you’re no longer pushed to his side. “That’s it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Kuroo shrugs with his lips pressed together. There’s a chill that rushes through your body. You should have stuck to the contract because you know Kuroo did. You know that he did not stray from it for a second, despite all of the hugs and kisses you’ve shared. You knew this was coming, yet you still don't want to see it in front of your face. The two of you live in this cloud of smoke that this project has forged, and Kuroo will be fanning it away soon.

You don't know what to say anymore. On one hand, it would be simple to ignore your sense of direction and throw away every platonic feeling you have for Kuroo, just to try and work out a relationship without strings. On the other hand, your actions directly affect Kuroo and you'd feel horrible if you messed up his project, whether if it was because you abandoned ship or acted on your feelings and your relationship turned sour.

Any way you think of it, nothing comes out right.

“(Y/N), come on, talk to me.” He pats the hand that rests in your lap, but still, your head won’t get out of this fog. Is this what it’s been this whole time? You should have paid more attention to yourself, to see the exact point where you let yourself go and live in this cloud of smoke.

“I don’t know what to say.” You don’t look at him. “Is it wrong to say that I don’t want to do it? That I feel used?”

“You said this was like friends with benefits when we first began. You saw and read everything in the folder I gave you. This isn’t supposed to be real, we were supposed to be together for this project.” Kuroo sighs. “For God’s sake, (Y/N). You offered. You literally offered, and you did not have to do this.”

If you felt like crying before, well, now you’re really crying. You’re trying to have some sort of semblance of a composure, but with you wiping your eyes with the back of your hands every few seconds, it’s hard to know what exactly you’re feeling.

“(Y/N)...” Kuroo longs to reach for you, but you shift farther from him on the couch, making creases in it. You’re sure he feels like the bad guy now, but this is nothing but your fault, and you’d like to own up to it, if only you’d stop fucking crying. “(Y/N), come here.”

When you finally look up at Kuroo through your oceans of tears, you can’t tell if it’s your currently impaired eyesight or if he’s also shedding a few tears.

“Look, I like you a lot, and I like you romantically. I won’t lie about that. I have for a long time, and when you said you’d be my fake girlfriend, I was scared. I’m not the best at knowing lots of things that aren’t academic, but I know for sure that these things never turn out right.” Kuroo takes your hands when you inch toward him. He rubs the back of your hands, the pads of his fingers sopping up your fallen teardrops. The man here is unfolding the hardened layers he used to have, revealing his softer insides. “Fuck, maybe I thought,” Kuroo stops to stand and pace back and forth in the room you’re in. “Maybe I thought if I threw myself into my work and take everything logistically and treat it like a project with no feelings, then it could all be justified in my head.”

You don’t know what else to think, so you just do.

You mute his next words with your lips and when you release, you’re sure you look like a mess with the tear stains along your face, but he tells you you’re beautiful anyway.

“Be my girlfriend. My real girlfriend. Nothing for the project, though I’m pretty sure I had enough data from the point of two weeks in.” There’s Kuroo’s cheeky self, the one you’ve known and been longing for.

“You’re so stupid.” You roll your eyes. “God, my boyfriend is so stupid.”

He lifts you into a bridal carry, the crook of his elbow caressing the back of your knees. “Do I still look stupid?” But he doesn’t let you answer his question. His lips are on yours. Your hands press against his cheeks and his hair brushes against your face.

“I like you a lot, stupid.”

“And I like you a lot too.”

general haikyuu tag list: @dorkyama @kingkags @clowninfortodoroki​ @ykchaos​ @kingkagss​ @alienvarmint​

please let me know if you’d like to be removed from the tag list via ask!

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[phoenix-manga]

What NRC does in the School Festival [Part 2]

Savanaclaw

Leona won't be around for the music and idol performances. He's much more interested in the obstacle course and anything that requires strength. There are some students of DCA who spar with anyone in the gymnasium. He respects women but he is eager to see how strong the students are. They're good sports and recognize strength. He finds quite a few who he might consider a rival for a short while.

Ruggie is out and about buying almost everything from the booth. He may get sweets but he won't buy a lot because it'll hurt his throat (then poor baby can't eat no more). He goes to the one dorm where he heard from the students that there was this 'Gumbo' that was to die for. You bet he'll head straight towards there and enjoy the feast.

Jack is following Leona around so he too gets a chance to spar with the students. He gets all buddy buddy with them right away. The students become smitten with him because his tail starts to wag and his enthusiasm makes him look adorable.

Scarabia

Kalim is dragging Jamil along to see the cultural dance performance and the tea party at the Futterwacken dorm. He's mesmerized with how the students perfectly reflect the dance. He was even tempted to join when he recognized his hometown's cultural dance (at some point he did and he had a short crush on his dance partner for a while). At the tea party, there were floating teapots and singing flowers that made him feel giddy and wonders if he could try and use magic to make a floating teapots party back at Scarabia. Jamil advises against it cause he might end up breaking priceless antique.

Jamil, as soon as Kalim was done with dragging him around. He wanted to see the history exhibition. He's interested in the historical tales of the DCA and it's fables princesses. He did join a dance competition and he won first place when the results were announced. He did catch some eyes with his dance movement, his partner was dazzled by his grace and precision as well.

Ignihyde

Idia feels like he'll clam up, he just wants to find somewhere quiet and away from the crowd. Luckily though, there's the library and it happens to be displaying the various stories, poems and even manga done by the students. He immediately sprints there with no care in the world and dives in to keep himself busy. The manga catches his eye and he gets so invested in most of them that he opted to buy one of each that was available that day. If he ever had the courage he'd probably go to the book signing.

Ortho is by his brother trying to get him to enjoy the festivities. He tries out the games to win stuffed animals. Always has an accurate aim so he just needs to find that one perfect plushie to get for his room and maybe his brother's.

Diasomnia

Malleus was thankful this was the only event that he wasn't excluded from because if he was forgotten again, he'd tear the college to the ground. He just goes along with Lilia to try out different sweets. Lilia finds it amusing to hand him fairy themed sweets. Despite the terrifying expression on his face, he thinks the pastel icing and candy wings looked cute and would maybe ask someone to try and replicate it for him. If he were to go somewhere it would be the art museum. Something about seeing the students making pottery, painting and even sculpting beautiful pieces of art makes him admire the human's ability to make something entirely new. He goes home with a glass piece shaped like a spindle (he was the one who made the request)

Lilia just lurks about eating sweets that catch his eye. He would sometimes disappear to go check on the tour on the Royal nine. Something about those princesses makes him give off this nostalgic expression on his face.

Silver and Sebek follow Malleus around because they are interested in the same things as him. Sebek is particularly fond of the history exhibition, the rich information on the academy's history satisfies his curiosity. Silver finds the art exhibit soothing, the busy atmosphere companies with the sounds of busy students feel like asmr to him. He ends up requesting for a mug with a beautiful thorned rose painted on it.

Note: that's all seven dorms I think.... It was hard to make Headcanons when I barley know their real personality but I try my best.