#society if i didnt get burnout >>>>>>

[shinonomebrainworms]

my gpa is going to singlehandedly ruin the college application process for me everywhere

[paper-mario-wiki]

what's ur favorite erb?

i dont have "favorite" as much as i have "the ones i watch every now and again".

"Blackbeard vs Al Capone" i might just like the way EpicLloyd speaks as Capone, but i also cant help but be utterly entranced by a shouting match between to middle aged men who want the other one to be scared. Favorite verse: Capone 1 (of 2)

"Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder" although this one still has the signature simple and cheesy bar structure that ERB is known for, this is PEAK in terms of performers. nicepeter and epiclloyd (the main guys) are great, but after the first 30 videos it became very easy to detect their individual deliveries and cadences. t-pain is pretty iconic in his performance of stevie wonder. Favorite verse: Stevie 2 (of 3)

"Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe" watzky was unfortunately cursed by god to forever look like a little twerp, but he works with it really well and it fits very well for the real-life twerp that was Edgar Allan Poe. and zach sherwin is always a charismatic force to be reckoned with, his uniquely clever writing style and flow shining. Favorite verse: Stephen King 2 (of 2)

"Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock" this one's just good fun. its a little battle royale among a bunch of really famous pop directors. i know that the character-appropriate cgi background is a staple of post-season-one ERB, but i really appreciate these ones specifically for some reason. Favorite verse: Alfred Hitchcock

"Kryptonite" this isnt an ERB and is in fact a completely unrelated normal rap song but i was listening to this one today. my oldest brother listened to a lot of rap when i was young and this one was one of his favorites. i remember listening to it all the time when he would drive me to blockbuster to rent gamecube games. i didnt listen to it for a few decades, but i looked it up on youtube a few weeks ago on a whim and i really liked it a lot. it's all about smoking weed which i love doing, and the chorus is really catchy, plus the instrumental is one of my favorites. Favorite verse: Big Boi 1 (verse 3)

"The Joker vs Pennwise" both rappers somehow look like different versions of matpat in heavy makeup, and joker works in a natural "we live in a society" which i like. i think that's all i got for this one. Favorite verse: Joker 3 (of 3, because this is the one with the we live in a society bar, but all of his bars were actually really solid)

"Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky" another one for the "zach sherwin is one of the best thing ERB has" pile. he delivers in a quaint (if a bit cartoonish) canadian accent a scathing comparison between the actual real-life achievements and significance and skill between the two actual athletes. which i think is very spiritually fulfilling considering the name of the series. Favorite verse: Wayne Gretzky 2 (of 2)

"James Bond vs Austin Powers" might unfortunate austin only gets 1 verse because it's far and away the best part of this one. aside from a clever pussy eating joke near the end between the two feuding bonds. Favorite verse: Austin Powers

"Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2" this is an actual real-life catharsis event between the main two artists behind ERB who seemingly put very real and deep-seated creative and personal frustrations they have with each other into their verses, plus a very real burnout over this series that they put all their money on being The Big One, creating a legitimately tense feeling in watching their performances. for reference, Peter rips on how Lloyd is an alcoholic and is unwilling to let the channel grow or change, and Lloyd talks about how Peter is obsessive and manipulative, referencing a real life issue involving a friend they fucked over in the separate video he appeared in. Favorite verse: Lloyd 1 (of ??? this one is almost a duet at times really)

"Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong" this one is specifically here because babe's second verse goes extremely hard in an almost uncharacteristic way for a series with very middling raps in general. Favorite verse: Babe Ruth 2 (of 2)

i could keep going i think but i just scrolled to the top of the list and my face flushed with embarrassment at how long its getting so im gonna end it there. you get the idea.

[system-architect]

10, 13 and 15 (actually for all your Inquest rats if you feel like it, mainly 15 if I have to pick)

"am a tired dummy and forgot to say "for Plex" in the previous ask 👀💦" well no worries bc IM GOING TO ANSWER FOR ALL OF THEM📣

10. How do they feel towards Inquest leadership? (Optional: How do they feel towards Kudu and Kuda?

plex: not gonna lie plex thinks theyre scary and kinda nuts LMAO . he stays out of that shit!!! not keen to get vivisected!!!!!!! he DOES have a complex relationship with his overseer and director tho (hot and fresh off the presses: that is because, unknown to either of them until recently, director vahnn* is his.. DAD !!!)

*sasha's oc. i've drawn him twice or smth oop lmao. he's the scary undercut man here. this was b4 vahnn knew their relation.. :")

daizz: daizz Respects inquest leadership and views them as visionaries. generally. i think the only qualms he has with higher-ups tend to be things like allocation of funds (he always feels the enforcers are underfunded) and other somewhat inconsequential grievances.

daizz... i dont know how else to phrase this sorry. he has a bit of a hard-on for kudu. he's obsessed with the man. feels he was a visionary ahead of his time. he literally has framed kudu posters in his office. he got to witness kudu in person Once before kudu died and it was daizz's gay awakening probably (he isn't aware of this but i am.)

he actually has like.. strange.. respect-infused semi-familial feelings about kuda because daizz's mother, prova, is an exceptionally high ranking enforcer and works as one of kuda's personal guards! he's only glimpsed her maybe once or twice though, they've never hung out or anything crazy, but they're like one degree of separation lmao

kai: feels theyre all greedy bastards just looking out for their personal interests and he is correct. he has no particular loyalty or respect for higher ranking folks (except daizz). he'll still follow orders tho bc that is simply what he does

toza: she has a decent amount of respect for her immediate supervisors and bosses, she'll follow them without too much question, but has no particularly strong ties to leadership further up the ladder than that. i think she might have a weird fondness for kudu and kuda bc based on what she's heard about them, she feels like they have/had some traits in common with her/are the same 'type of person' as her (it's the desperate violent streaks)

13. What was their real motive for joining the Inquest? Whatever their job or area of research is, why is it that they feel they can't perform it within normal society-- why do something so extreme and push moral boundaries?

plex: going to be honest with you.. plex joined the inquest because he is stupid, basically. he wanted to figure out his father's whereabouts and he knows his father was associated with the inquest and just sort of.. went in that direction. he didnt think about how dumb this was until recently. unfortunately he's now entrenched and starting to Like It now that he's getting to perform some of his own research. inquest is family business for him now ig.

daizz: LOYALY.. HONOR.. VALOR.. ZEAL... VISION............. daizz is a Guardian with a capital g and he really truly Believes in the inquest and what they're doing. he's intensely religio-philosophical wrt the eternal alchemy, and he believes in the inquest's vision of the alchemy (minus the asuran dominion bit.. he dgaf about that). him and his mother were both originally peacemakers, her very high ranking, and she became disillusioned and he connected w/ her disillusionment, and so when she defected he followed

kai: kai wants money. kai is also kind of a rude mean violent person who, as gregarious and chatty and friendly and sociable as he can be, does not function fully well in normal society as a former ultrarich kid turned burnout gambler. he could've just as easily been a bounty hunter or a mercenary. the inquest is simply always hiring, is consistent with their delivery of paychecks, and was close by.

toza: sasha asked me this one specifically so it gets its own post in a hot minute ok

15. Were they involved with any of the canon GW2 events that involved the Inquest-- Thaumanova, Crucible of Eternity, Sorrow's Embrace, Rata Primus, etc? (Optional: How'd they escape when the Commander rolled in?)

plex:

daizz + kai: both daizz and kai were stationed in rata primus when it fell. this is where they met, actually-- kai was a fresh-faced enforcer recruit just shipped out from metrica, and daizz was the leader of the unit he was assigned to. kai is the sole survivor of daizz's unit, and they had to pry themselves out tooth and nail. daizz was able to find and retrieve kai halfway, and then after kuda was secured, she very gracefully allowed prova a brief leave to go find her son in the cube, so prova managed to track them down and help pry them out from there. they narrowly dodged the commander, it was just joko's forces they were fighting through

toza:

[megbonney]

unless i have something else to say (i dont) thisll be my last time logging on here (it will be) (i have a life and im logged into the other one)

idk what to say. graduating year which is cool, i survived academic burnout and procrastination this far! Yay! coolio! working, got the same job twice which is proof u can work if u have the will to do so (some ppl r repulsed by the concept of actually contributing to society outside of what their connections can provide them tho) (welp) (suck shit) saving for a car (coolio!) and forcing myself to do assessment over break (not so cool). have acrylics on that are a bit too long for my liking so typing/playing games w them is a bit cheeks but the colours cute so ill be right i feel humble while also knowing ive come further than most, in saying that, that i attract the same breed of friend (which is why only talking to irls now is so great) (equal price in gift giving is greater) (how many times can u recatch feelings for me and why is that aimed at 2 different creatures) ive liked the same guy for months but he'll never know unless he A. makes a move or B. i tell him when i graduate bc i doubt ill see him again but we're good friends so that's a win..ish? and he's my type to a T which is...reassuring (because i always fall for people who arent) my setup is mostly brand new (except for keyboard and mic, and the shite camera killed itself) and having a new phone is cool too im seeing we're back in the "eat the rich" era on social media except it feels like when we posted "hello kitty says acab" and didnt do anything except this time its juggalo/lette makeup and dazzle camouflage face paint except of disguises that actually hide u from the police infront of u i need to become more politically aware for when i inevitably vote so im hovering atm but like always most of the rage is american. i believe tiktok shouldve stayed banned bc the ppl crying over it are proof theres an issue there (but its also a good platform for edits/music/art and generally getting yourself out there, so, upsides downsides) and today i think the news covered australia having a roblox addiction as if it hasnt been around for years idk....ppl r strange. study day tmr while home alone. i love these headphones i know theres errors in here but thats not a me problem bc after having a few drinks, eating dinner and doing my skincare im logging out of this and going to bed so..i win again

[icarus-oc-stuff]

I have recently created a batch of OCs after like 6-7 years of just DnD characters, and im planning on using this blog to flesh them out. i'll describe all of them in a handful of sentences below the readmore, just for funsies. Dont take any of them too seriously, im just doing this because i enjoy it, not because i want some kind of attention.

Most are normal-ass people and they all use names from my name list (https://marlowesnamelist.carrd.co/). They're expressions of trauma or emotions or generally just expressions of me, and thas the main way i like to think about them!

➽ Sierra (they/them) is a tortured artist archetype, who basically lives in their atelier. They are an orphan, and were able to reach the kind of artist life they currently have through the freedom (and the sizable inheritance) that their parents' deaths got them. Sierra has completely submerged themself into their art and rarely speaks to those outside of the art sphere.

➽ Rose (she/her) is a chemist and general science enthusiast. She is extremely autistic and is obsessed with her main passion: toxins. She specialised in toxins during her education, but never managed to hold any job that didnt require her to let go of her morals, so she now earns her money by teaching courses on chemistry and physics in libraries and high schools.

➽ Marlowe (they/he) is very, very tired. They have pursued their passions and their interests with determined fervor, but dropped out of school in the last semester because they got burnout so intense it caused them to become suicidal. Now they are struggling to find new places to direct their energy, and to keep themself mentally engaged without burning themself out again- mostly by hanging out with and helping their many friends whenever they need it.

➽ Voix (she/her) is athletic, puts a lot of effort into getting good grades, and overall exudes the vibe of an honours student who's going to have a boring but succesful life. Thats just the image she shows at school, though- in her personal life, she is a total fucking nerd, and is very autistic about swords and other such sharp implements. Whenever she isnt working on school, she writes paragraphs onto her personal blog about all kinds of obscure historical arms, and she frequently practices HEMA.

➽ Orion (he/him) is a trans punk english major, and a big fan of classic horror. Poe, Lovecraft, Shelley, and a bunch that i dont know but he definitely would. He's very unapologetically himself, and any discrimination he faces never seems to pierce that, usually just enticing him to be more provocative in his presentation. He's pretty well known amongst the other queers, as someone who you can step to when you're being bullied or just need a shoulder to cry on.

➽ Etienne (she/they) is a depressed shut-in, unable to hold a job or even go to school despire any efforts she put in. She spends most of her time watching streams or playing games, having mostly resigned herself to her fate. Despite all of this, she stills finds a lot of joy in her life, hanging out with online friends and, once in a blue moon, going out with her real-life friend.

➽ Ciel (she/her) and Lune (they/she) are a duo. Ciel is mute from birth and almost entirely deaf, and Lune has been her best friend since the first year of high school. The two are thick as thieves, and while they wouldnt say theyre in a relationship, they definitely love eachother a lot.

Lune acts as an intepreter and general assistant for Ciel when she needs it, which isnt super often- Ciel is stubborn and determined, and often has the willpower to push through whatever she's facing, but sometimes she just needs some help, especially in a society that isnt built for people that can't hear. Lune is a lot more shy and awkward when alone, and generally tries to stay under the radar- but when Ciel is around, she will move mountains.

➽ Alder (they/them) is a fantasy OC. technically my second, but seeing as Rosalinde has the most backstory, im putting her last. Alder is a mage, focused on an arcane flavour of archaeology, and an archivist. They have magically extended their lifespan, and roam the realm, looking for rumors and legends of powerful magic used in the past. Alder has a gift for unraveling the remnants of this powerful magic, for uncovering the intricacies left behind by their afterimages.

Overall, Alder is a carefree person who loves to travel along with adventurers, often offering their services as mage for free, in exchange for letting them hitch along to whatever ruin or hell-gate they mean to loot. Time has made them flexible and agreeable, and it has made them a delightful travelling companion, one who loves sharing tales and legends over a campfire, and one who adores cooking for their companions.

➽ Rosalinde (she/her) is an outlier, as she was the foundation for a whole new worldbuilding project- the same world that Alder lives in- which means she has a considerable amount of backstory. she is a runaway princess turned knight, and hero of the people. She's the platonic ideal of a knight in shining armor, guarding the common folk from threats- whether they be greedy lords, cruel bandits, or monstrous creatures. She is a stoic, guarded person, always working alone, always perfectly composed.

When she was a princess, she wasn't much different: a composed, polite woman, adept at the endless games of politics, lies and manipulations. She was a perfect princess, until she was found out- she had entered a relationship with her royal guard, a woman named Rienne, which was a total taboo in her father's conservative kingdom. To avoid the consequences of these actions, she ran from the palace, though her faithful knight and lover didnt make it, and was executed for her transgression.

So now, she roams the world, staying far away from her past and her regrets, haunted by the memories of her family and her love.

Can you tell Rosalinde is my favourite?

[eames-with-a-rose]

a dude posting about how a fanta bottle in europe differs from in our own country ( and america) , europe ver has orange juice, pumpkin juice and such, while what we got is sugar soda water with orange flavor and colouring. Everyone screams at him for ‘ stating the obvious’, but like. I didnt know europe has a different fanta from me. I stopped drinking sodas like some centuries ago bc my liver fucked up. i didnt know the possibility of drinking a bottle that contains true juice. I dont have a choice but making my onw, it sounds, simple. But. If i, as an individual, has to make everything myself to be able to consume without flaring , aching, pain (which i have all the time, but with herbs, it is less) , then what time do i get left to do anything elses. And what if i can just buy it, buying something that wont kill me. Now, that, is the quality of society. Im living in a society that doesnt support me, i dont know what it is for. and the fact that, ppl in europe, different places in the world , have ACCESS to that, to be healthy and time to do what they want and need without wearing themselves out. I have chronic pain and burnout , it isnt simple for me. and many others like me. and the fact that many ppl in the comment, in my country, accept the mediocre product as common, ‘obvious’, is how they already drilled into ur mind successfully. Same fucking brand , producing two different products, one is healthy, one is poison. How do u accept that as ‘obvious’

And everyone in the comment is like ‘ why are u stating the obvious, u’re wasting my time’ and the guy just ‘ u are right’ to every comment chastising him . I guess he knows whats he’s doing. The obviousness is not that obvious.

and, as a whole, we ‘re getting weaker, bc how can a normal human body tolerate such colouring and sugared soda and fake flavour for long , while other ppl getting healthier or just, not weak. As a whole. Do u think how it’d effect us ?

[wurmeatworld]

I cant speak for op, but the things youve said on this post have been really rubbing me the wrong way and I want to explain why, although there's so much that its kind of overwhelming.

You are jumping to a lot of conclusions about what OP thinks and is saying about "gifted kid" autistics, and you're not understanding the original post at all. Listen, I was a gifted kid myself who didnt get diagnosed until high school. Yes, it was hard and painful and traumatizing. But heres the thing. The adults in my life believed I had potential. They liked me. They thought I was a good kid. They thought I was intelligent. Yes the expectations placed on me were unfair. But I was liked and in some ways, respected.

This is a vastly different experience from autistic kids who struggle to adapt, who are visible as autistic, who are thought of as lesser because they cant compare to the neurotypical standard. In our society, if youre weird but able to catch up to or surpass the NT standard, you may be seen as a freak, but ultimately your accomplishments are awarded for being able to conform to the system. If youre behind, you're not just a freak. You're a burden. You are a broken cog in the machine. There is so much more hatred for people who cant or dont conform than for people who can and do.

The way we are treated IS different. And I know that once gifted kid burnout hits, you become a hated burden too, bc Im living that rn. But even if we end up similar, theres a HUGE difference in our early childhoods, the most formative years. That matters, quite a bit.

Even after gifted kid burnout, our ability to mask dictates how people treat us. The less we can fit in, the worse we are treated. Its not a matter of jealousy or infighting or oppression olympics. It is a simple fact about being a part of any minority group. It's insane to me that you think this is a white discussion because the same basic principles have been discussed in regards to racism, homophobia, transphobia, you name it. Just google colorism, for example.

All this is not to say there is "some vast and incomprehensible difference" between autistics based on how well they can confirm and mask. The difference is quite comprehensible, and it should be a source of solidarity, not division. We should be able to recognize eachothers needs and how we can support eachother and help those who are more susceptible to violence.

I would also like to note that oppression is not a sliding scale of more oppressed or less oppressed. There are a lot of factors that play into how we are treated, and while the severity of our oppression isnt equal, to just measure based on that is foolhardy because it is a huge spectrum with tons of unique situations. You seem to have at least some grasp on that, since you brought up how autistic people of colors experiences and the experiences of autistic ppl of different genders can be different. These are often large factors in how an autistic person is ultimately treated, but that doesn't mean other factors like a childs ability to conform dont factor in.

And as for OP saying she feels alienated from other autistics, no shit! When you talk about your own unique experiences, experiences that are not often talked about, only for someone to derail it to make it about a broader issue, its disrespectful because it dilutes the point of the post. Yes, our struggles as gifted kids are worth talking about too, but the point of making a specific post about a specific issue is to have a specific discussion around that issue and what we can do. Tacking on "Dont forget about me!" distracts from the important discussion at hand.

Having specialized discussions about a specific aspect of a thing is normal. Its not helpful to try to solve the big picture all at once. You have to take it in bits and pieces, and if someone wants to talk abt a different aspect, great! But it should be its own post.

I have seen this happen countless times. I have seen it happen to OP. Whats worse, Ive seen a lot of posts where not only does someone derail OP, but they then say that her not including them in her original post means she thinks lesser of them, that its an intentional ommission out of malice or bigotry. I cannot speak for op, but I imagine Id feel alienated too if that was constantly happening to me!

I do not see anywhere in this post where OP said late diagnosed, masking autistics are less autistic or less disabled. Those are words you typed out and added to the post. If you think that I or OP saying autistic people who cant mask are treated worse than those who can is the same as saying they are more autistic or more disabled, you need to learn better reading comprehension and check yourself. There is nuance to this discussion that you do not seem to be getting. Please try to consider this in good faith and learn.

On one last note, I am deeply uncomfortable by how you brought up gender in this post. First of all, there was no need to say "females" when you meant to say people brought up as female. Second of all, yes, it is true that autistic diagnostic criteria is built upon white autistic cis boys, and that autistic poc and autistic women are often not diagnosed because of this. But to lump every autistic child into either afabs or amabs is transphobic, inaccurate, and erases the experiences of trans and gnc children. If you can recognize that theres intersectionality between gender, race, and neurodivergency you can recognize that theres intersectionality when a child is trans too. To reduce an autistic child to either "seen as male" or "seen as female" is gross, biologically deterministic, and literal terf rhetoric. You should be ashamed of yourself.

there is a bad toxic part of me that feels petulantly bitterly resentful of certain kinds of autism advocacy online. like, "it's okay if you're late diagnosed, it's okay if you've learned how to mask your traits, you still deserve support :3" stuff. i know it's my problem, because i know many people are genuinely hurting & need to be told this, but i feel like i'm being left out and i just want to bark and growl. i was diagnosed at age 5, i can't mask away the strange offputting parts of my speech patterns and body language, i can barely take care of myself. this is why i snap whenever my neurodiversity posts get noticed by "former gifted kid" type autists, because while you were having unfair expectations placed on you by doting teachers who were proud of your academic accomplishments i was being talked around and talked down to by people who didn't think i could understand them.

i don't actually know what i would want done in order to make me feel more included. im just snapping uselessly at people with different problems than me, it's an issue with me, and i should probably stop.

[drdemonprince]

i... cant believe i just saw someone saying that "saying you are burnt out is self diagnosing because burn out is a psychology term, and self diagnosing is bad!"

i once saw an article that said people are considering putting burnout as an official diagnosis to the dsm, and i sarcastically said "noo if that happens the professionals will gatekeep the word from non diagnosed people" but i didnt expect it to actually happen??? even tho burnout apparently isnt even on the dsm (yet)??? the op said it's in the icd, but idk

but ofc they said "burn out can only be assessed by a professional, and u have to go to a professional to get better" lmfao what abt u acknowledge the role our society plays on why people get burnt out huh? they also said "everyone calling their exhaustion burnout will diminish the real burnt out people's struggle" but hey in the current state of the world, i do think it makes sense if there are a lot of people burnt out actually. the rise of burnt out people isn't caused by self labelling; it's because a lot of people have indeed reached their maximum capacity and exhausted themselves!

yeah its mad fucking annoying and dismaying. especially when "getting diagnosed by a professional" just means paying hundreds to thousands of dollars for someone incredibly privileged and usually oblivious person to ask you a few questions about life situations that you already know better yourself as the person, you know, living them, and then makes a subjective judgement on what to make of it that will never impact their life as much as it defines yours. nonsense

[writinandcrying]

Hellou!Im the persone who asked about requests a while back(Mainly because I didnt wanna overwhelm you if theyre closed) and Im really glad they are.Anyway,could I request Donnie(TMNT),Tamaki(BNHA) and/or FatGum(BNHA)(Also,I hope I havent gone over the character limit) with a slightly chubby s/o?(Insecure or not,you chose!).You dont have to do this if you dont want to tho!Have a nice week❤

Hellou! Thank you so much for being so thoughtful, I’ll have to apologize tho, I no longer write for bnha, I had a huge burnout fand I do not feel comfortable writing about it anymore, I hope a veeeery detailed Donnie reaction to a chubby reader will make up for the absence of those characters! ♥️

Tmnt - Donnie x Chubby reader (Gender Neutral!)

I’ll have to start that all of the boys wouldn’t judge or reject you based on your appearance, being either chubby, slim, tall, short, there are a few attributes that I think each turtle would find it e seeing or interesting, but it’s more… humanly related(?) maybe one day I’ll make a post about it if you guys wanna hear my opinion on it hehe :)

Donnie(generalized) x Chubby Reader:

just like there are certain stuff about the turtles that they like and dislike about themselves, there are stuff about humans who think the same about themselves! and even though Donnie knows there are beauty standards that control many areas in humans society, he still doesn’t understand why people outcast those who are different

I think some of us (readers / shippers) get a bit :C when thinking about Donnie bc in almost every version, he had a crush on April (who is a babe in every. Version. Specially rise, I love rise-April so much, and that’s the only apriltello I’ll let it slide lmao) and that can give a “perception” that he wouldn’t even glance at some of us ( “us” = being a huge group, trans, guys, chubby girls, chubby guys, skinny girls and guys, everyone who doesn’t fit the normie mold I guess- I unfortunately think about that often. Which sucks cuz I gotta remind myself that isn’t true!!! At all!!)

I personally Headcanon Donnie being… I don’t know if interested would be the correct word, but more intrigued with how humans relate to each other, on their first missions, he knew they could… scare some of them off, “frightened by their own prejudice” as master splinter would say, but it’s far more different to hear about it than to actually live it, and it hurts to hear someone scream their heart out just by seeing you

While growing up, he started to notice not only in television, on and off midia, how people would mess around with others on the street just because of their appearance, he knew society worked though this beauty standards, but he didn’t understand it. It didn’t made sense! value someone based on what they look like? There are so many things, so many attributes to make someone interesting, and you gonna pick the most…. Boring? Plain? Vague? Shallow reason to create privilege over others? Really? (And thst enters on the topic of how almost all beauty standards are rooted in white privileged and racism but I’ll go on a tangent about it once I start it and I’ve already said a lot lols)

He could literally go on for hours about this topic (which he has. At least tried with each one of his brothers, but they never really responded well to so said topic “if humans have it bad, then what do we have left?” Raphael barked back once, an attempt to shut him up, which it worked, btw- he didn’t like to go through that direction when thinking about that topic, but yeah, what does he have left?)

He started searching about different aesthetics, ethnicities, he has folders on Pinterest dedicated different body types, cultures, he swears it’s for research reasons, which kinda is, but Donnie’s guilty pleasure is checking “different” people online, those who would deem strange and weird outside the internet, he liked seeing their content and specially their comment sections being filled with wonderful compliments, people relating to different styles and tastes, that gave him hope that there are someone out there with different views of how everyone should be “shaped”, and that maybe he will find someone who thinks he’s handsome and desirable (Donnie, just like Raph, is also insecure about his body, but he’s more… melancholic about it, if you confessed to Raphael, there would be a high change of him pushing you away, trying not to break his heart from actually believing you, while DonDon here, if you both started dating- on some days Donnie would need more reassurance that yes, his partner does think he’s handsome/hot/attractive. Otherwise he might internalize his insecurities and it will be HARD to get a confession “why he’s so upset out of the sudden” from this turtle)

With that being said!!!! (My god I do know how to ramble) without even realizing, Donnie open his “preferences”? Let’s say, Became more open minded than most, While seeking comfort for himself, and when he says he doesn’t have a type, he really doesn’t. There are so many aesthetics that could be attractive! punks, goths, cottagecore, y2k, dark academia, light academia, grunge, fairycore, alt, the list is endless! And don’t get him started on physical attributes cuz there are so many different combinations that some how, people manage to connect the most random ones and make it look great

Donnie wouldnt fall for someone specially bc of their appearance, or that would be the first reason he would fall head over heels, when you think about it, what happened to April it was that she was extremely passionate and dedicated to *insert which cause she was fighting for* and took Donnie seriously, that light up a lightbulb in his head that has never been on before, people showing how ardently they can be into something, how much they care and such, that’s attractive to him, and after that, everything that person does, or is, suddenly becomes beautiful and amazing for Donnie

Withthatbeingsaidpart2- if Donnie did fall for someone more on the chubbier side, their “plumpy-ness” would def be something to call his attention out after he developed feelings, he longed for your hugs, specially after he found out how soft and warm they were, he actually started having more naps after you caught his heart, imaging how it would be to cuddle someone as soft as you while hugging his pillow late at night on his bed (which eventually he would doze off from day dreaming so much)

Talking about day dreaming, Donnie can totally lose himself in his mind, just like with his projects, he can imerse himself in a fantasy about you two easily, which makes him totally freeze when you show up and he actually have to say or do something he has been constantly dreaming about

So please confess first, cuz when I say he can lose himself in his daydreams, that can last for months until he actually gathers courage to do something about it

While in a relationship, Donnie is totally a hopeless romantic, but not the typical “roses and candlelight’s dinner” kind, as your boyfriend, he wants to help you out no matter what, he will make aaaaas many inventions as he can that might increase the quality of your life, becomes easier to do… whatever, literally. And he always longs for your adorable reactions to his gifts

He adores your chubby cheeks, he will! Get lost! in your face! Your eyes! Eveything! He will oh so slowly caress his knuckles softly across it, sliding to your neck, traveling through your arms, he likes to squish your face a bit as well while cupping it when he goes for a kiss, he just thinks everything about you is adorable (and hot at the same time)

He really like the contraste his skin has with yours, it’s so foreign for him and he can’t help but to love how smooth your skin can be, (which leads his mind to ahem. Certain kind of thoughts. If you know what I mean)

Just like he needs reassurance about his appearance, he knows you probably had to deal with more than one unpleasant comment about your physique, so you don’t even have to ask, Donnie is so whipped with you, compliments about you just drip of his tongue, and it’s always so sweet, followed by a pair of soft eyes, always admiring you, plus, Donnie is a science / fact man, he would gather information about other cultures that value more curvy, chubby, bigger people, he would go as far as making a slide presentation how wonderful and more inclusive people are being (even if it doesn’t seams like it, and there’s still a long way to go) he would include real opinions online other than his on the matter that your body is indeed, a snack, (aaaaaand he is once again right, aaaaand just like everyone else you just have to live with it and accept it 😌 end of story)

He would definitely “put up to test” his theory of how amazing it is to cuddle someone who’s more on the chubbier side (and his theory is ✅ correct)

Cuddling becomes a weekly thing for you guys, that being you sitting on his lap, having naps, watching movies together, he loves to create or update his projects with you on his lap, holding you grounds him. Plus it’s easier to speak some kisses on your cheeks that way

He finds out some people on the heavier side stops themselves to live some experiences the hard way, he never wants to make you uncomfortable, ever. But it takes a while for him to understand why wouldn’t you like to, as an example, wear a bathing suit/ swimwear around other people, wearing lighter clothes when it’s absurdly hot during winter time, that you don’t like when he picks you up? things that don’t connect right away. he promises himself to never force you to do anything you don’t want to, but he slowly will try to support you to do whatever you have always wanted to but stopped yourself from doing so bc of your weight

He would take extra time while making out with you, he wants you to know how much he loves your body, every inch of it. Lowkey likes to drag his nails on your tights and mark you

Overall? Donnie is extremely thoughtful, independently of how his partner look like, if they were “part” of some sort of outcast from society, he would take his sweet time to show how important and special his partner is, he is extremely thankful to be able to experience love, something that not only him, but all of the boys, thought it was out of their reach for a really long time, so you bet he’s going to show how appreciative he is oof your love, of all of you 💜

I really tired to innovate a bit here, didn’t want to add the same stuff as other Headcanons that already exists (I mean, Its cute to read how we as writing blogs / authors “agree” on how the boys would react in certain situations, which it is a FactTM that Donnie is a sweetheart. but it’s also good to read new stuff, oooor you know, a new perspective of it, even if it is a “common” / “already done” scenario, you know? )

even if I mostly rambled about Donnie’s personality analysis than to actual stuff he would do or act around an chubby reader lmao, I truly hope you like this! I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes hehe

[degeneratekitten]

When there’s no Hope

I ended up pushing myself too far for some of the stories, the result was a massive burnout that I’m still not completely recovered from, I think this was actually the last story I made that pushed me over the edge. I only just got around to editing it. Anyways enjoy.

!!!WARNING!!! READ TAGS BEFORE READING. BITTY TORTURE. DONT LIKE DON’T READ

Some cases are simply too dire to help, this was one of them.

You seldom got cases as bad as this, cases where training simply was not an option and the owner was simply too blind to see it. The woman in front of you was describing such a case, tears in her eyes as she described what had to be the most dangerous bitty you’d ever heard of.

The bitty in question had grown to the size of a bear, just feeding him alone was breaking her bank, he still had the childish, dumb demeanor of a pure bite. Furthermore his breed specific problems made you flinch a little, you were well aware of how dangerous they could be, whether from being unmuzzled to only having regard for their own needs you knew full well that a bear sized toddler with knives for teeth was not good. Furthermore, despite leaving out what must have happened to her, you could tell exactly what had happened to the woman coming to you for help.

Her descriptions of this pure bite only cemented in your mind that she had become so blind to what was really happening that she forgot about everything but her tormentors' feelings. You ended up having to stop her halfway through her pleading to firmly lay down a hard truth for her to hear.

“I can’t help you, and frankly I’m afraid I can’t let you go home to this bitty either.” You stated, watching as the woman in front of you stood shocked and teary eyed at you.

“Nonononono! You misunderstood me! He’s really a sweet boy he just gets muddle headed during heats!” She replied, staring at you desperately as you shook your head.

“Ma’am no. There is only one thing that can be done about this bitty.” You stated, fixing her with a look. “Firstly, he was never meant to be a pet, and due to his size he’s long past the point where he’s allowed out for the exercise he needs. Frankly he has two options, a zoo, or death.” You stated, watching as the woman stared at you in shock. “But based entirely on the stories you’ve told me of his treatment of you and the bitties around him, I know for fact that no zoo would take him.” You stated, before sighing one last time.

“I also cannot in good conscience let you go home and wait to be murdered by this bitty either.” You stated, and watched as the woman’s face twisted in anger.

“You can’t do this! I came for help and you’re talking about MURDERING my baby! He would never hurt-” You stopped her before she could finish her sentence.

“But he already has.” You replied, pointing to the bruises littering her form. Her arm was even in a cast, and she got silent. You could tell that the bitty in question had done something unspeakable to this woman. He likely couldn't take no for an answer given his intellect and she couldnt force him away due to his size.

“Now, in consideration for your feelings for your bitty, I’m only offering you this so he won’t suffer.” You stated, as you stood up, and walked over to her, you had been in a fortunate enough position growing up to be one of the lucky few with a more developed magical sense. It had always been an option for you to become a dedicated mage due to it, even now you were still getting offers of magical colleges to further develop it. You never had any interest though, you always preferred the sciences over magic. You supposed though, that now was as good a time as any to use a little of your magic to get your point across. Summoning a green light you walked over and brushed the woman’s cheek with your hand. The bags under her eyes disappeared and she stared at you with wonder, looking at your hand as she felt the magic wash over her.

“I could call the humane society, they would most likely come and subdue him without the use of magic, which would be a violent and huge affair. Or…” You held up your glowing hand.

“I could come in and make the situation as painless as possible.” You stated.

She looked at you with so much uncertainty in her eyes that you sat back down.

“The choice is yours, I know it’s hard, and you probably already resent me. But someone is going to die. Whether it’s you or the pure bite is entirely up to you.”

----

The woman was so distraught by your ultimatum, screaming profanities at you about being heartless, inhumane, a murderer, but you simply pulled out your phone and looked up the number for the humane society, making sure she could see you do so. She ended up collapsing onto your sofa, crying something intelligible, before agreeing. She looked guilty, so guilty, about being raped by a bitty, about supposedly breaking some sort of promise to the bitty, about her assumption that this bitty wasn't dangerous despite the fact that she’d already been hurt so deeply by him.

You ended up talking more, with you urging her to seek help from a mental health professional to help with her grief, she still tried to beg you to reconsider, but you wouldn't budge, making sure she understood very clearly that she would die if she continued to defend the bitty.

Surprisingly it was easier than you thought it would be to convince her to put down the bitty, you weren't entirely too thrilled about it having to be you who she wanted to put the creature down, but nonetheless it was more likely to end painlessly.

Despite your offer to subdue the pure bite, it was still something that was incredibly difficult for you. You had to pull out some of the old magic books that your grandfather gave you and your siblings when you were younger. Your siblings had all gone down the path of dedicated mages, while you decided you loved horses more than magic. You had long forgotten some of the spells you learned when younger, and had to look up a spell to subdue a large violent creature. Eventually you found it, but still had to write it down on your hand even as you left for the woman’s house.

---

Seeing the bitty was an entirely other matter though, and you had to suck in a deep breath as you stared at the bear sized bitty in front of you. You struggled to comprehend just how it could have grown to this size. You’d heard of certain breeds of bitties who grew as they aged, but you had no idea how old one of those bitties would have to be in order to get as large as this pure bite.

The owner wasn't glaring at you anymore, she seemed to be cowering as she stared at the bitty. You could tell just by looking that he was in the middle of a heat, he was pumping at his large cock as he stared at his owner.

“Mom.” It grumbled out, and it seemed to lumber towards its owner, he reached out a hand and really you werent in the mood to see a giant bear bitty rape anyone, so you didnt waste any time.

You took one look at your hand before shouting out a spell, drawing a shape in the air with your finger as you said it.

You were out of practice, and a small puff of purple escaped your hand.

Growling to yourself, you stared at the giant bitty as his owner pulled away from him. He bared his giant sharp teeth and let out a frustrated noise.

“Mommy! Make me feel better!” He growled out, reaching for her again, this time his large boney hand caught hold of her, and she shrieked a little.

“BABY NO!” She yelled, staring at you with a pleading look. You grimaced again, and collecting yourself you tried again.

You ended up succeeding in your second try, and a large purple symbol slammed into the large bitty. He ended up stumbling a bit, but shockingly enough he ended up shaking it off.

Your eyes ended up widening at this development, and you backed away in fear at the sight of the bitty. He looked angry, angry and still pumping his giant cock furiously as he glared at you.

“Go way! I want mommy not you!” He shouted and let go of his owner to lumber towards you.

Panicking you casted the spell again, and another purple symbol crashed into the bitty, this time causing him to howl in utter rage. He practically started sprinting towards you. You only barely managed to run past his lumbering form as he smashed into the door of his owners house.

“Nooooo! Baby please be good! She’s here to help!” The woman cried, bitter fearful tears running down her cheeks as she shook in place. You ended up casting the spell again frantically. Watching it slam into the bitty only to slow him down.

You realized exactly what was happening after that, and in response, before the bitty could turn you casted again. You could see the giant pure bite was wobbling, and could no longer run, so you casted again, and again, and again. Until finally, the giant lumbering threat fell, face first onto the ground, practically drooling.

“Cnt mvvv.” He tried to say, and you ended up sighing in relief. Your heart was pounding, and there was a hole in the door you came through.

The woman was still shaking, seemingly petrified by the giant bitty on the ground. She didn't even approach, just stared at him helplessly. You gave her a once over before you decided that it was better to get this all over with quickly.

The fact that casting the spell once had not been sufficient was a glaring reminder of just how out of practice you were with this. You weren't a dedicated mage, and while you were sure your siblings could have done this in one try you were different. Still this next part was something that you had done countless times at a young age. It was one of the basic elements of becoming a mage.

Making your way over, you planted your feet firmly on each side of his body. You hadn't done something like this in a long time, but really it was relatively painless despite how it sounded.

Lifting the shirt of the pure bite you reached into the very center of his magic, placing your hands firmly around the massive pulsating AI that rested in his chest. Then, careful so as not to completely damage the flow of your own magic, you started to absorb the magic resting within him.

The pure bite grunted at first, before he started to yawn. He stopped being able to move as the magic drained from him, and got progressively more tired as the process went on. You struggled a little to circulate the magic in a way that allowed your body to make the magic your own, and frequently had to stop for long moments to give yourself time. Really all the practice with places of power when you were younger made this process incredibly familiar, and eventually you fell back into the groove of how it was supposed to be done.

The pure bite eventually fell into a deep sleep, and shortly after parts of him began to dissolve gently into dust, floating away as you worked. You felt your own center of magic expanding, a little uncomfortably at first, the years that you hadn't done this coming to catch up with you, but eventually you had flexed your magical muscle enough that the expansion started to feel natural, pleasant even, like breaking through into a new level of power.

It wasn't long before you got comfortable enough with the flow of magic to where you could finally end the process. You practically glowed as you completely sucked up the remaining magic in the pure bites reserves, and closed your eyes to go into a deep meditation, as the body of the pure bite basically dissolved into dust. There was no screaming, no pleading, just a deep sleep that ended painlessly. You sat for a long time circulating the flow of magic, before you could finally open your eyes to see the woman in front of you staring almost confused at the dust on the ground.

“He just fell asleep... “ She stated, and she looked dazed as she said this, not distressed, not sad, just in disbelief. Honestly it looked like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Nodding at her, you smiled gently. “He just fell asleep..” You stated, which seemed to cause a dam to break in the façade of the woman. She didn't answer you, just placed her head into her hands as she cried. Whether it was from relief or grief you had no idea.

[hol-eage]

I keep wondering wether I have autisms or not. I'm a girl and I feel like there is not much info about it or it seems incomplete. Any advice?

hey darling! I’ve gotten similar asks a few times

theres a huge amount to go over in working this out, this reply is gonna be long im sorry!!!

I think one of the biggest ways to feel it out and get a grasp on whether you might be autistic is to... use autistic coping strategies

I found myself feeling reaffirmed once i saw how much easier my life was when i was sensory regulating for the first time,

years of therapy and anxiety/mood coping strategies didnt make as much impact as realising that the root of so many of my problems was my oversensitivity to light and sound and touch, and my under-sensitivity to smell

things i do to regulate:

//putting a hat/cap on when its not gloomy, //wearing headphones 90% of the time, //purposely stimming to regulate (sniffing wood scented candles, //looking at crystals/glass that reflects light, //pacing in circles for hours, //rocking, //my weighted blanket...)

//having soft lighting in my room, an eye mask for sleeping and when im in sensory overload, //loud full volume music, //routine (routine! routine! Routine!), //not forcing myself to eat foods that made me uncomfortable or //wear clothes that were itchy or uncomfy

so thats a good place to start!

🌩🦇

things to search for

Go onto the hashtag #actuallyautistic,

I personally have a highlight on my instagram @/hgjosephine called ‘Calm’ thats about autism

stay away from parent led conversation (so fucking misinformed, abusive and depressing), stay away from autism speaks (disgusting charity), stay away from male autism stuff (not bc its bad and there are overlaps but overall i find it incredibly unhelpful and confusing in relation to my autistic experience)

I think the organisation National Autistic Society is safe! So read up information from them

🍂🌩

Good things to search youtube for are:

-Stimming

-masking

-executive dysfunction

-special interests

-Ted talks by girls/women with autism

-Burnout

-“Why functioning labels are harmful”

-Shutdowns

-Meltdowns

-Nonverbal

-emotional regulation

-Sensory overload

-Sensory processing

-girls with autism misdiagnosis

-Autism spectrum (learning what the spectrum is exactly is incredibly important, and isnt readily shared or understood!!!)

⛈🚏

A beautiful little documentary on youtube by the Channel 4 News called ‘Autism documentary: inside the UK’s only school for autistic girls’

In this documentary something the head teacher said struck a chord with me,

“We need to go looking for the lost girls. The girls who might need a diagnosis but haven’t had one because I suspect that they’re often excluded from school, they may be in prisons or young offenders centres, they may be living homeless. They’re vulnerable and misunderstood.”

The second she said “lost girls” I burst into tears, idk man it just feels like that’s what we are, it’s the most accurate description and it’s fucking heart breaking.

🧶🧦

The youtuber ‘Agony Autie’ is also beautiful and a wonderful resource,

Another good youtuber is Amythest Scaber

🌌🗺

An autistic illustrator who sometimes does autism specific illustrations is @/petite_gloom on instagram

🍂🐻

I personally got referred by the mental health team (when they realised my problems didnt stem from mental health and my mental health problems were a side effect of living as an undiagnosed, unsupported autistic girl)

So if you have problems with anxiety or anything like that and can be referred to a mental health team they will be more supportive and understanding

Though if not, talking to your GP is a start, asking to be assessed for autism

(long long waiting list in most places, in the UK at least)

Doctors will be less informed on girls with Autism as the research is still new, so taking a print out from a site like National Autistic Society might be helpful.

You may find that you’ve been mislabelling things that youve been going through, examples i have are:

//Thinking meltdowns were panic attacks,

//Thinking sensory problems making me breakdown and cry (for no apparent reason) was depression,

//Thinking burnout was depression

//Thinking agitation and tics were moodswings and anxiety (they are mood swings and anxiety but using different labels helps you understand the root of it is autism based rather than mental health based)

🌃⛈

If you need any specific tips then im more than happy to give advice! Questions on coping in certain situations, stimming suggestions, specifics on any of the things i listed etc etc

Good luck! I hope you’re safe:( i’m rooting for you!!!!!

[alas-pancakes]

school

mostly good day today but when will teachers learn that confiscating whatever I’m doing in class will not help me focus. first of all, I’m very well aware that I should be giving undivided attention to whatever we’re doing but it does not work like that. I am physically incapable of giving undivided attention to something that is not my hyperfixation or a book. even during class debates, I’m usually doing my own thing and speaking when I have something to say. I just can’t, class is boring, to be honest. I am not interested in going through the same thing over and over and I’d rather you give us free study time and let us approach you when we have questions. after all, it’s exam season and we are not learning new content. often, I write in class to prevent myself from completely zoning out or falling asleep (which is why ever empty space in my primary school exam papers are usually cramped with pencil marks), you may not see it as such but I am listening and absorbing!! I’m sorry that in this society fidgets are just seen as toys and get confiscated and so yes, I can spare a few sheets of paper over expensive fidgets but still!! secondly, confiscating my things sends me spiraling into a panic attack, not fun at all. you may think little of your actions but I cannot stand the idea that somebody I don’t trust has their hands on my things, especially my writing. that piece of writing might not be that important, it may not contain anything that can be used against me but it scares me that you have it. I have trust issues with adults due to my parents and several incidents that have occurred over the years. after confiscating my work, I will sit where I am and I will not pay attention because I’m panicking and I don’t know what to do but if I overreact you’re going to realize that the work means something to me and email photos of it to my parents or something and years of masking tells me that hiding how I feel is the best way to survive. 

not very long ago, I had a teacher confiscate something even though I was doing my usual method of switching back to the classwork when I need to copy something but she went and confiscated it and I was scared, I was shocked and she continued the lesson. I was staring blankly at the worksheet in front of me, crying silently and stimming very hard because I was panicking that much and after class ended, I ran. I ran to where nobody could find me because I wanted her to just burn the writing or something I could easily recreate but I didn’t want her reading it! I didnt want her holding on to it and I didnt want her talking to me about it. I had a meltdown in school which is bad but since I’m usually nonverbal when I burnout/meltdown it did not attract that much attention. 

I think that teachers need to realize that confiscation will not help me focus but rather send me into a state of utter distress and it’s sick that I can’t even trust adults anymore, even though they’re supposed to be the people I go to when I need help. 

today is the last academic day in the school year and I got the “I’ve given up on you” face from a teacher and I wish they understood that I’m not misbehaving intentionally, I’m paying attention, just in a way different from your own. the classroom is noisy, stressful and humid and I’m doing my best to cope, I really am and this is just how I do it. I already try so hard to mask because school really can be a cruel place and it’s better that I have friends than come off as a freak. 

so, to my teachers: I’m sorry that I gave you the wrong impression but please, see me. I’m frustrated and tired and I just want you to understand that I’m doing my best.

[gaberoothekangaroo]

therapist: do you think the pandemic let you get comfortable and now that you have to try to get back into society the stress and anxiety is giving you mental fatigue? that youre reluctant to go back and that stress is giving you mental fatigue?

me: ???? no????

shes trying to understand what might be contributing to my chronic fatigue and trying to see where it stems from. i had to explain i had no energy before the pandemic and that i was just going going going and pushing through so much to the extent that i was constantly borrowing spoons/energy from the next day at a compounding rate that it wasnt bad enough to impact me enough, but that i got to a breaking point once we went into lockdown and i wasnt keeping up with my go go go mentality and physicality, which allowed me to actually just exist in my conditions without having to perform/keep up a facade of being okay for work and school and society except for like an hour zoom call here and there in my pjs. which that then resulted in all the spoon borrowing finally catching up to me compounded on top of burnout, which also has later compounded with a massive gi flare up and change in allergies and sensitivities. i also then had to explain ibs at its worst where post eating id fall asleep as an allergen? immuno? ??? response and that ive now cycled back to that point, but that that has always been a massive contributing factor in my fatigue.

she just hmmmed a bunch and didnt really have much to say. like shrug, sorry you havent had to deal with a chronic pain patient or chronic health condition patient before

[ddonggeun]

Hey! So I’m suspecting if I got adhd/add but is there any symptom idk. It’s really exp here to get it diagnosed

sorry it took me a while to get back to you because honestly i dont know whats a good alternative for you can be so i guess i can share my own experience? 

first of all i think googling symptoms and types of adhd and reading peoples account on how adhd/add manifest is a good start? my doctor and the reddit /r/adhd REALLY help me to accept myself (which is the first step i think) but the way i get diagnosis (i am adhd with predominately inattentiveness - but at the same time i have depressions and dyslexia which is like a killer combo 10/10 would never rec) is that i came across with an article a couple months about how girls with adhd are more likely to be (mis)diagnosed with depression and it basically fucks up multiple generations because they cant get the help they need and i was like wait whats describe in it sounds kind of like me but at the same time i have always been very lethargic and rather well behaved in class growing up i am nothing like what you would typically associate with adhd (you know the hyper-activeness) so during my next visit to the doctor (im getting treatment for my depression) i mention to the article to her and she said wait you know what describe how you feel in a classroom setting growing up and is there anything you do that teachers complain about repeatedly and tell me how studying and doing homework is like to you and so i did (i can go further into details of my life since a lot contributes to why i only get diagnosis when im 21… let me know if you would like to know i guess?)

my doctor (who just so happens to be an adhd specialist and is quite active in the research area i didnt know before then we stan forever i love her really she is so encouraging and so good at her job) took some notes as i was talking and after im done she said you know what i think you might be onto something but i cant be sure yet (since i have depression and dyslexia which both overlaps quite a lot with adhd/add) why dont i first explain to you what adhd is and i’ll give you the set of official diagnosis questions you dont have to do it just take a look at it first do some research organize your thought talk to your parents about it and if you think getting a test on it is something you want we can set up another appointment and we can go from there - which is really really nice because adhd has always been a taboo at least with my upbringing it makes you a loser socially academically and you know just in general its not something you will want to have…. 

in hind sight there are SO MANY SIGNS even in early childhood how come no one notice i dont know prolly because i grew up in the 00s if you are different you need to kys lmao rip: 

trouble paying attention in school or work,

the appearance of not listening - although im an audio learner funny enough

avoidance of activities that require sustained focus,

being easily distracted 

restlessness

fidgeting and cant sit properly - i shake my legs or click my pen so much especially when im thinking or anxious lmao, i got into trouble a lot when i was younger because i only sit in my seat facnig the teacher 5 mins max at at ime then i move around or i move the chair around i think better when i cross my legs but i went to a uniform school and i always make my skirt too short so you know

interrupting - if i dont say what comes to mind when it comes to mind, the thought is gone forever

frequent talking and talking way too fast - i get the exact same comment every single report day class from when i was 4 till i graduated high school im not even kidding “she has excellent comprehension skill and reading speed. it would be great if parents can help her out a bit in maths or chemistry.  she has a lot of potential if she applies herself, she seems distracted although when we ask her questions she can answer. very helpful and bubbly and yet she talks too much in class. she is not disruptive and her seatmate never complains but she just doesnt stop talking. we have been pairing her up with quiet students in class in the hopes that she will talk less in class but she just turn the quiet student talkative”

trying to do multiple things at once - i cant do one thing at a time, even when im say writing a paper i need to be listening to music or talking to someone if not switching between tabs or word files

mood swings

hyperfocus - oh boy oh boy oh boy

impulsiveness - i dont know if i get better as i age or is it getting worse i just know how to clean up my mess lmaooooo

poor time management - although i would say ever since i start listening to stuff 24/7 it really helps build a sense of the passage of time or whatever? its like now i know ok by the time i get to the third song in the shower i need to be washing out my conditioner; or say i need to go somewhere in 40 mins which is really abstract to me i set timers and put on a show thats 35ish mins even tho im not watching it just so im aware of time is actually happening if it makes sense

fail to follow through - i start things and once i have it figure out in my head i struggle to put it down in words or explain it to others i work well with other adhd peps tho

doesnt follow instruction and only do stuff their way

burnout - this is the worst especially if you are a perfectionist or a control freak and guess who is both 

trouble coping with stress - 

i luck out because im canadian and my doctor (in my schools clinic) just so happens to be a specialist who is very passionate about helping undergrads and grad school students to achieve as much as they can - so doctor and diagnosis for me is free. i do have to pay for my medications out of my pocket for a bit since im on vyvanse (to treat both my adhd and depression-lead anxiety its complicated but it makes sense when my doctor explained it to me lol) and this drug isnt covered by Pharmacare (CAD $130ish for 3 weeks worth of 30mg, im mostly on 30mg but on days when i dont have work on stuff or go to school i take 20mg just so my anxiety dont cause me to explode lmao) and very expensive but recently my doctor and i have agreed that vyvanse really work for me and it is something that i should be on daily for the foreseeable future we applied for special authorization which means i only gotta pay the tax… of course medicating isnt a must but it is what works for me and we figure out a way to make it affordable so i cant be more happy about that

at the same time i work with my psychiatrist to you know configure the whole adhd thing cause you know 21 years of repressing and forcing your feet into a shoes that not even your size frick you up thats something people dont tell you 🤷🏻‍♀️

what my doctor said to me then stuck with me - she told me adhd or add really is no monster or flaw in fact it is a very valuable set of traits we inherit from our ancestor - we hate it now because modern society render these skills useless well you see adhd isnt all about the hyperactiveness you see in the media people with adhd are extra sensitive to their surrounding and prefer hands on experiences (today we call them distracted) they are always aware of the change around them and is capable to attend to a couple things at a time and act fast because their brains are always making sense of things even when they arent consciously doing it. in todays society we dont want these kind of people why? because they ask questions they are curious people who notice trivial stuff that dont contribute to productivity they cant sit still which makes them not the ideal factor workers or pupils BUT! you have to remember that industrialization started like a century ish ago before that our ancestors live in predominately tribal society - adhd people then are the perfect caretakers and protectors, why? because they are always noticing things they adapt and react fast… so yeah it kinda suck for us growing up in a system thats designed to be everything we are and it is something that need to be changed but for those of us who “made it out alive” especially people who only get diagnosed in adulthood more often than not they look back and realize they have developed so many incredible ways to cope to make things work - are they always the perfect way? are they always health? no definitely no but at the same time it shows you how incredible these people are they make things work yes things are really hard sometimes but you got to give yourself a pet in the shoulder for not giving up… with the help of science and research we now know a little more about how adhd affect people we now have medication and programs developed to help people with adhd - they arent to dumb you down or numb you but instead it helps you to focus better so you can actually hear your entire thought and not just phrases or sentence fragments