#some of y'all are throwing the baby out with the bathwater and like

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

What I have learned from the past several days of my dash is that only some of us spent our teen years watching Supernatural, Grey's Anatomy, and Glee, and therefore learned to just disregard shit we thought was stupid in regards to our favorite characters, and also shit that made the entire rest of the show not make sense. Never thought I'd say this, but thank you Ryan Murphy, Shonda Rimes, and the bozos running late stage Supernatural for inoculating me against the stupid shit Tim Minear is doing right now.

(Also there's part of me that feels like we all say we support people with mental illness, and we'll forgive TK for exhibiting symptoms of his bc depression and addiction are better understood than anxiety. And Carlos has, like, the world's biggest case of undiagnosed and untreated anxiety. But I'm not sure I want to get into that rn.)

Shoutout to @whatisamildopinion for talking this over with me last night before I fell asleep on facetime.

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC: Random Messages You May Need 🌈🎆⛅

Sup, y'all. I'm finally back for another pick a card reading. I really apologize if folks have not heard from me over the past month, I meant to get this reading (among other things) out a while ago. I have not been able to touch tarot for the past few weeks. Life has been… topsy turvy, to say the least. Heh heh. [sweating profusely]

I meant to have another game out and to have paid readings available by now--that is still part of the plan. What was meant for June will be in July. So this blog might go from 0 to 100 mph real soon, to move along with plans as intended!

I was loosely inspired by the Baker pride flag from 1978 for this group selection. These piles are pretty nondescript: each one contains a random message that may resonate with you. Pick based on whichever color of the Prism Oracle speaks to you most, and feel free to choose more than one. Take only what resonates.

Pile 1 - Strength (Red) Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange) Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow) Pile 4 - Movement (Green) Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise) Pile 6 - Trust (Blue) Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet) Pile 8 - Love (Pink)

Pile 1 - Strength (Red)

10 of Swords, Insight

You've been asked by the universe to put up with a lot, especially recently. You're reaching a finish line of a very long and brutal marathon. There have been too many times where you questioned whether or not to throw in the towel. If you have, you may also have questioned whether or not it was the correct choice. Sometimes, things don't work out, and it's better to move on. It can be difficult to hold everything up when one thing after another seems to fall apart at the seams, but either way you're being reminded of the light at the end of this long and turbulent tunnel.

Collect yourself, pick up what pieces you can. Time has shifted everything, but the essentials still stand. Gather the wisdom you have learned from this ordeal. There is still beauty to be found in the decay, glittering gems in the rough.

Maybe you don't want to get stronger. Healing may feel like a better option than grinding for difficult experience points. Give yourself the rest and repair you need. Let go of only that which is keeping you from starting again, but you don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. You've gained so much wisdom and strength, this trial wasn't without gain. Treasure it and begin anew.

Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange)

2 of Swords, Clarity

Whatever answers you seek are coming to you. Or perhaps they've already arrived; open your eyes and see for yourself. You may be wondering which path will satisfy you more. The process of reconciling this could take forever unless you lean on your gut here. This can't be decided based on intellect alone, for you could get stuck mulling it over for days. Imagining all the different possible outcomes could be taxing for your brain, so narrow it down. Eliminate the weakest links and home in on what excites you. It should feel like an "aha, yes!"

If you cannot see the answer right away, go within to the realm of imagination. Feel your way through. Visualize not just with sight but with yearning. Does the light of the sun make you feel hopeful? Does the cool rain make you feel relaxed? Would an art class expand your capacity to imagine many things, or would taking a science class?

The X mark in 2 of Swords is like a railroad crossing sign. Redirect that train of thought into brighter and more positive avenues of expression. Say "what if" as if you can't wait for something to happen. "What if I saw a shooting star tonight? What if my cute neighbor asked me out?" Let the future shine its beacon for you. It will all make sense in due time.

Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow)

Ace of Cups, Reconciliation

Have you been staying up way too late trying to figure everything out? Please give yourself a brain curfew: no problem solving or saving the day after 10 pm! I'm getting that you may tend to ruminate on the same strong emotions. For some I'm getting that there is a crush here. There's inconsistent text messaging. I know it's easy to get too nervous about their reply, but try to wait until at least the next day to hear back. They may need time to formulate their words right. They may not even see your message straight away. Take it all in stride and sleep on it; if they want to reach out to you, then they eventually will.

For others in this pile, you may be going through a rough patch with another person right now and could be wondering how things will pan out. Give them time to respond, they could still be processing it. Stay on the more positive end of things with the idea that things will work themselves out. I feel like if you can manage this in a relaxed and non hurried way, the knot will untangle easily. The coffee in the Ace of Cups is very hot, so give it a chance to cool.

There is opportunity in your near future to make up for something that went awry due to a miscommunication error. You may get a chance to make up for a test, appointment, or an interview. You will receive grace for any mishaps. Remember that tomorrow won't necessarily be the same as today, so cherish both the good you have now along with the good that soon awaits you.

Pile 4 - Movement (Green)

IX Hermit, Devotion

Looks like things are progressing faster than you even thought they would. You may be blinking your eyes in partial disbelief: could this ball really be rolling? Indeed, thanks to your efforts, goals are being met and results are more evident by the day. You eschewed a lot of distractions to make this work, so give yourself a pat on the back for the level of commitment you put into it. Some of you in this pile may have just graduated, if so then congratulations! But try not to get too comfortable with your laurels, for you have a long road ahead of you in whatever you do next. This one completion is the start of many.

Does that thrill you? If so, wonderful! On the other hand, some of you may be feeling uncertain about continuing. You may be reviewing your options to see if this really is worth pursuing. Something that requires a lot of dedication and focus on it to the exclusion of all else… yeah, I can see how that can get tiring after a long time. There are folks who can get their Master's right after their Bachelor's, or have another child right after the first, but people can also happily move on to what feels more right for them instead.

It's okay to stop and assess your tracks if necessary. Taking time off is not the same as quitting. It's not losing motivation, it's recovering it. This is your passion and your discipline, not anyone else's. If you need to give other parts of your life more room to breathe, then do so with the confidence that your great work will wait for you.

Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise)

4 of Wands, Hospitality

Have you been stuck with something for a while? There's a strong sense of a blockage that is being eroded away over time. This process can be sped up by allowing the ice to thaw a little more. "Break the ice." You may be wanting to open up and spend more quality time with other people but don't know how. Or you could be faced with meeting new people and being nervous about interacting with them. Even more so if they're roommates. A few people in this pile could be moving or have just moved. This is a chance to ease up and get to know new people.

This blockage could be a result of the past and of anxiety. The sound of a turning doorknob just jumpscared me as I typed the last sentence. You may benefit from learning about social anxiety and how to manage it. It's not an overnight job for you to fix this, though, but to just be aware of it and not allow it to get in the way of positive change in your life.

If you're struggling to figure out how to deal with meeting new people, I would suggest looking up videos or how-tos on social interaction, especially if a certain etiquette is required for an event. Learn about conversation starters and fun things you could do together like hosting a game night. Practice makes perfect, and over time the blockage will melt into the stream.

Pile 6 - Trust (Blue)

3 of Swords, Conversion

You have a very soft and tender outlook on life, which makes it all the more painful when reality doesn't conform to such a compassionate vision. It doesn't always try to respond to vulnerability in appropriate ways. Much of the time, this isn't from natural events as much as it stems from the ways in which people can treat one another cruelly. You've had some toxic people in your life who have put you through the wringer and attempted to squeeze every ounce of kindness they could from you. Making light of this pain to them only resulted in further deflection and antagonism on their part. The only outcome was to salvage whatever you could and pray for the best.

It is not your job to change their closed minded perspectives. They're on their own, here. Do not concern yourself with their messy inner world and lose any more of your energy. Also, do not attempt to regain what energy has been lost through bargaining either, as much as it hurts to press onward without looking back. You will recover, but you have to move on first and prioritize what you deeply care about most (you included).

There will come a time when your heart will be healed so you can see the brighter side of human connection again. All the beauty that your gentle soul is seeking is still there, shrouded by layers of protective petals that will one day bloom again and your life will truly flourish. For now, this is a time to give yourself all the comfort you can.

Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet)

XII Hanged Man, Spring

I get the feeling that you've been waiting quite a while for some good results to come in. This could either be from something that you started back in the spring, or are waiting to see results which may come around springtime. It is a season of flowers, so you may be waiting for this thing to blossom--that is, to be fully presentable to the public in some way. To have something to show for the time you put in. Like "hey, this is what I've been working on, this came from the seeds I planted." It could be growing in a direction unlike what you're used to, leaving you wondering how it could succeed in such unusual and burdensome conditions.

Lean on your inner guidance when it comes to the right timing. I don't believe that you're currently in a space where you need to push so hard for the best results. You can let things move at their own pace. Over tending to anything can end up in just as much trouble as neglect. There's only so much you can do before you have to let the flower do the growing and blooming for itself.

It's not always easy to sit in the place of uncertainty with the idea that doing more will provide more. But sometimes less is more. What you're creating is coming to fruition and may even turn out better than you expected. Trust in both the knowledge you've earned over time from learning lessons, as well as your natural intuition, to help you decide when it's time to take action.

Pile 8 - Love (Pink)

7 of Swords, Gossip

Let your heart lead the way here, not your worries over what others will think. Sure, you may end up with some people talking about you, but opportunities will keep passing by if you wait for everyone else to catch up to you. Leaning too much on everyone else's perspectives will only distort the vision you have for your own life journey. We all have unique journeys to go on, but unconditional kindness remains at the center of the Love card, the one thing that brings us together. Following life from a heart centered place may result in having others glance over and whisper, but that shouldn't distract you.

There is a rather delicate message here about dealing with friendships, colleagues, or possibly even family. You may have a tricky situation between several other people right now who have beef not with you but with each other. They may be coming to you to air their grievances and ask for advice.

If you care about both of these people, then it's best to approach this issue as diplomatically and impartially as possible and avoid feeding into the conflict. What would an enlightened mindset do in this situation? How would you want the other person to behave if they were in your shoes? Come from a place of pure compassion. They may choose to make amends or not, it's up to them. If their butting heads is bringing you down, it's always okay to step back and take a break. You are not responsible for what's going on in their heart, only your own, so protect yours well.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[prettyhighforawhiteguyblog]

If you know me from before and found me here

Please know I have been growing.

I don't want to convince you of any Christian thing. I don't want you to change your faith or even believe me. I think for most of you (unless you are a fundie Christian like me) it would just ruin a perfectly good person.

Now I'm always just sharing ideas for fun or or to work out my own issues or to help you see someone else's point of view, or give you intel on the enemy.

I stopped worrying about trying to figure out how God is going to subvert God's own laws to let you into the Heaven you don't believe in. I know most of you don't believe, but you know this matters to me. And it is important to me that you know that I was paying attention to you and learning from you. I want y'all not-Yt, good godless, and/or good god-knowing people to know how much you taught me about goodness and God.

I know my good and loving God well enough at this point, that I'm willing to say the Bible and our most cherished theology must be wrong.

I KNOW (not hope or guess at) that if I'm right about spiritual realities, then you will be enthusiastically welcomed in by God themself running out to greet you and everyone else, no matter what they have done, believed, or rejected.

Every good parent knows that and we all ought to be aghast at the picture of a "good Father" they tried to give us.

I don't know what judgement looks like, but there must be some justice for the oppressors and their servants. And maybe some long chats and tears for me as well. But in the end, I think basically everyone who wants in and is willing to act Civilized is ultimately welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven, healed, and lives a better way.

Because that fits in with the general arc of our discovery of God over the millennia. The God Paul knows by the time he's an old, old, broken man with decades of suffering and loss under his belt is a different kind of God. The God Paul knew while writing Philemon is far closer to God in every meaningful way than the one Paul knew primarily based on Christian theology and his PhD in Fundamentalist understanding/application of Jewish scriptures, religious teachings, and law back when he was writing Romans and Timothy.

This is assuming I'm right and not you. But even if you are right, I'm pretty ok with a religion based on us using our short lives to make the world better for those who follow. Such a life of love and service is a pretty good way of living and if that isn't the Kingdom of Heaven, nothing is.

I don't even think we should evangelize at all anymore. No more missionaries. We don’t need new Christians. We are fucked up, ruin any good person we have influence over, and we ought to be able to recognize that well enough and take some time to mourn, introspect, and grow as people and as a religion.

Or maybe we just let Christianity die. I'm ok with that.

Just don't throw out baby Jesus with the bathwater. What we really need people to come a little bit closer to the Kingdom, to love the things of God a lot more and the things of the World a lot less. Jesus can help them find a better way as long as we remember he was just trying to show his people a better way and not a perfect way.

We all know how to be dicks and never sin. And Jesus seemed to be no exception. Not one woman disciple. Not one Samaritan or Roman or leper or beggar. Just Amish-level fundamentalist Jewish men. And the way he talked to that Syrian Phonecian woman... yikes! (that came from paying attention to Native American theologian Mark Charles).

Let the "real" Christians keep Christianity and all it's baggage and practice their terrible religion in their enclaves.

Out here in this world we are learning from Jesus to love our neighbor and ourselves and to look for win wins. Out here we actively have to reject the things of the World in order to live well in this good but troubled little world. Out here Jesus's road to the cross shows us how to suffer righteously and humbly while trying to teach people how to love their neighbor, how to know and trust their God better, to reject the things of the World, and still keep ones dignity under suffering.

Out here Jesus's road to the cross teaches us how to consider organizing a grass roots movement that can spread over the globe quickly.

The cross teaches us there is a price to be paid for annoying the Powers of the World. The resurrection reminds us that the bastards can't even keep us dead and that there will be judgement and re-creation. But it doesn't tell us what that looks like. Only to take heart, for Jesus has overcome the world and that is what the power of God looks like.

This is called Liberation Theology. It isn't new. It just isn't White.

The road to the cross, Jesus's crucifixion, and the resurrection all encourage us, show us an example, and tell us that we can have some hope for the future while we do our best to do some good in this world, while the World is doing it's worst and just seems to be getting worse.

But it doesn't get you into the presence of God. The Sinners Incantation and the murderous "sacrifice" of even God's own flesh and blood cannot tame God and make even such loving God dance for us and hand out Get Out Of Hell Free cards to vulnerable, traumatized preteens at a summer camp.

God (in my world anyway) just loves all God's children and they are ALL God's children. Especially the spiritually alone ones (whether they felt lonely or not) because God has a thing for especially wanting to heal the hurting and dispossessed of the world.

And they dispossessed you of a loving God with all their fuckery.

Not that you ever needed God to teach you how to love the things of God.

Rather than new Christians We need more support for good humans like my children and yours.

They have no religion to confuse how they use their goodness and gifts. These young Atheists and agnostics really know how to love. I will never ask my son or anyone else ever again to become a Christian. I’m sure we would just ruin them.

And I’m certain a just, good, and loving God, and just, good and loving father would rush out to welcome and comfort all God's errant children especially the ones who felt so alone out there and were just doing their best all on their own. That’s my theology and a personal moral imperative and I’m sticking to it.

[supermassivebutthole]

Unpopular opinion, but one of the things I liked the most about twilight when I was a kid was that Bella was a little plain. No makeup, no fancy clothes, a little nerdy. Millions of girls all over the world read that book and felt, if only for a second, a little relief that the main character of their favorite romance novel wasn't some perfect goddess, but was loved and desired by her peers anyway.

I don't like that the whole thing has been reduced to some "not like other girl" shit because that implies that all girls are interested in prefect feminine presentation, and to devolve from that is some prideful sin.

Bella's plainness gave me, a closeted enby child, comfort against a world absolutely bound and determined to fit me in a pretty little pink box, and that's a good thing. Her unprettiness, if you want to call it that, gave comfort to a lot of kids.

The world, especially back then, was tailored to the kind of femininity y'all are mad at Bella for rejecting. Let the ugly girls have one thing, okay?****

****Certainly, Steph is a misogynist, and we can investigate that, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, basically

[bisluthq]

I do not think forgiving some one who cheated is bad cause

Well you ob love them for some reason

And it's only when they deserve a 2nd chance though

Look I think cheating is one of those things that's SUPER complicated. Not the high school/early twenties type because that's just like "dude just break up with your person and go fuck the other person like it's not HARD" (but also why traitor is tbh a great song for that kind of thing because yeah that vibe happens a LOT then) but once you've been together for a few years and you're older like... cheating gets complicated. Because it doesn't just happen out of nowhere right, like there's something wrong in the relationship. And sometimes it's not clear what that something is. And sometimes the cheating can put whatever is wrong or missing - whether that's emotional, intellectual, physical - into sharp relief.

So like I think throwing the baby out with the bathwater and going, "Well, you cheated so you're a cheater" when you're properly together is... not usually the path I'd take. Like friends of friends of mine are currently in this saga where they've been together since uni, married 3 years, and she cheated with some rando homie from Tinder and told him. And the reason she cheated is because she'd been putting a lot more effort into her appearance and had like lost a lot of weight and was trying a lot harder and he didn't seem to notice and he didn't work on himself so she went out and fucked a hot dude who made her feel hot. Now, was she right? No. But should her and this man - who she's now spent like 9ish years with - call it off because when she said to him "look I've been gymming more" he grunted and didn't look up from the TV? Ehhhhh also not really. So now they're working on it, right, and trying to figure out a way forward.

Obvi if you're monogamous and that's important to you and your partner just keeps fucking randoms, that's not good.

But yeah I think after you've been together with someone for 3+ years cheating is not a slam dunk either way and gets reaaaaally complicated, especially IMO - but y'all know me I'm like Ari I only want to do it once - if there's the piece of paper involved.

[girlsasuperfreak-blog]

Let's clarify some things

I have no plans or desire to leave my current relationship. Not everything can be perfect, but enough of it is so spectacular that I can't and won't throw out the baby with the bathwater so to speak. It's fun to have side trysts sometimes and I don't think it's that big of a deal. If my man wanted a couple hallpasses a year I would be totally down. We don't share the same kinks, but sex is actually still pretty good. Dude is PACKIN' which makes up for a lot lol. He is not a cuck. And I'm not actually that into cuckholding specifically as a kink so.... Stop spamming my DMs with it? Thanks. Lastly, I want to point out that I'm extremely stubborn, willful, sometimes inconsiderate, and I don't listen or take direction well. I would make a terrible, TERRIBLE 24/7 submissive lol. And dont really have the desire to be one. Y'all, just let me post my kinky shit and be an internet de-gen like the rest of you 😂. If you're cool, maybe we can chat and exchange pics 🖤😈. If I don't get back to you.... Well, I have another post all about that.

[mustardyellowsunshine]

Love everything you said about Inuyasha and his situtation with Kagome and Kikyo. Can I also say, to the people who call him a two-timer, that is definitly not a simple situation when you're starting to fall in love with a person and your dead ex-lover comes back to life. Like, it's a hell of a mess to being with. I think y'all can forgive Inuyasha if he didn't know exactly what to do in some moments.

You are so right!! This is not a simple case of “hey my ex-girlfriend showed up again, ain’t that awkward?” It’s a case of, “I’m currently falling in love with someone and oh hey, an evil witch trapped my dead ex-lover’s soul in an animated corpse and the last time we saw each other was in a moment of extremely painful betrayal, after which SHE DIED because a sociopath was jealous of our relationship and murdered her because of me.” 

Um, yeah. Abnormal to say the least. Let’s all give Inuyasha a little grace for trying to figure out the best way to cope with THAT mess. Especially when you consider that Inuyasha spent his entire life as a social outcast, and figuring out “normal” relationships would’ve been challenging for him, let alone that clusterf**k. 

And this is slightly off topic, but your ask got me thinking about it: my other pet peeve is when Inuyasha bashers use really-early-series examples to prove that Inuyasha is an “abusive asshole.” I’m just sitting here like: no duh he was an asshole in the very beginning. He spent his whole life being persecuted and ostracized as an abomination, and the one remotely constructive connection he had with another person ended in betrayal and death. Which all felt very recent to him because he’d just woken up from an enchanted sleep. Anyone would’ve been an asshole in those circumstances. The point is that he didn’t stay that way. That’s important so I’m gonna say it again: he didn’t stay an asshole. His character growth throughout the series—and it starts hella early, his asshole days don’t last very long—is tremendous. And as instrumental as Kagome was in helping him along that path, he never could’ve grown that much if he were a bad person at heart. Kagome stuck it out with him precisely because she recognized the good heart underneath the defensive layers; she never would’ve wasted her time with a true asshole. 

Ack, I went on another rant there, sorry. I just love the dog-boy, and I think he gets dealt a lot of undeserved crap. (There are legit reasons to criticize some of his actions, but c’mon: don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.)       

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, 4.14.2007 + 4.15.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week. today: buttrock confessions

4.14.2007

40) "Ticks," Brad Paisley

So I watched the whole entire CMAs instead of Game 7 of the World Series and don't regret a single choice I made (the game went into extras, you don’t really have to watch baseball until the ninth inning tbh), and it struck me how much of a dorky theatre kid Brad Paisley was. He's objectively a great guitarist, like hokey as this song is and as little I know about music I think that's a dope fucking guitar line, but gosh darn, he was trying so hard the whole time at those CMAS! And that puts a song like this in perspective, because, like I said, it's hokey as fuck, but if you can just understand that Brad Paisley's sense of humor is that of someone who understands that being funny is a way to be Liked and is trying his best to be Liked, it sort of comes together and you can brush it off.

75) "We Takin' Over," DJ Khaled ft./T.I., Akon, Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Lil' Wayne, Baby

FUCK DUDE LIL' WAYNE USED TO BE GOOD. Like OK I think we all know I wanted to come here and be like "look at the humble beginnings of the meme man! He wasn't such a meme in these days!" but then there was a Lil' Wayne verse where he wasn't fucking around with Auto-tune, he was just rapping, and he was such a good fucking rapper that I'm actually angrier at the two "verses" he had on those Nicki Minaj songs a couple weeks back. It's not even one of his more notable verses, I don't think, it was just a normal 10-year-old Wayne verse, but I'm still here like, what a treat, a Lil' Wanye feature I don't mind! How lucky we were in 2007!

78) "Little Wonders," Rob Thomas

it is good to remember things that are nice! the lyric video i watched for this song ended with this message from the editor: "Believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and never, EVER give up =)." i would have much rather someone had just repeated those words over and over for three and a half minutes than listened to this song. DANNY ELFMAN?! fuck are you doing here, danny elfman? are you lost?

79) "Hey There Delilah," Plain White T's

There is nothing I could say about this song that would be worth saying.

82) "I Tried," Bone Thugs-N-Harmony ft./Akon

a'ight, see, now i feel better about bumping pink and jordan pruitt from the top 20, because it won't be some buttrock heroes what bumps 'em, it'll be a legit impressive, heartfelt song. i'm kinda surprised i don't remember this! now i just gotta contend with the fact most of both top 20s are gonna be dudes. but like most of these songs are dudes. this week is all dudes. next week is a 7:2 dude-to-lady ratio. last week was 2:1. maybe less dudes? idk, recency bias is doin' work, but at least two weeks from now, we're gonna get some dope tunes.

87) "Get Buck," Young Buck

HOLY SHIT THIS FUCKING BEAT THE TUBA HAS NEVER HAD A BETTER DAY IN ITS LIFE. OK, this is the first 2007 track I think has been unjustifiably forgotten by time. “Say OK” hit me, but I think that was just a moment for me. This is objectively a classic, this fucking beat, man. Young Buck doesn't add a ton to the proceedings, but he doesn't ruin anything, his gruff, shouty flow is perfect for the beat, and I'll admit, I got a dark chuckle out of the "I can serve Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown" line. This was fuckin' rad, y'all, the best "new to me" song I've heard so far. Seriously this beat, how have we not found a better home for it, how did no one else latch onto it. A strong silver medalist in the "Southern rap songs with the word 'buck' in the title" category.

89) "A Woman's Love," Alan Jackson

Alan Jackson, last seen walking out on Beyonce's performance at the CMAs, is here singing a jaunty tune about how one time he fucked.

91) "Love Today," MIKA

i mean it's just a good song, man, i dunno. i'm allowed to just say when a song is solid and something i can jam to, right, when i don't think i have anything to justify? it's low-rent scissor sisters. I'LL TAKE THAT ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. solid week.

95) "Forever," Papa Roach

...oh goddamnit i love this song. No, you don't... Lemme explain. I need to explain, so lemme. So, I listened to a lot of the local buttrock station in my teens, because that's what the radio at the auto shop where I worked was always tuned to, was 93X. And, I dunno, there's a lot of bullshit I forgot and a lot of shit too horrible to purge from the mind, I've heard the acoustic version of Staind's "Outside" more times than any man ever should, but there were some songs where the Stockholm Syndrome hit, and you were like, "Well, maybe Chevelle isn't ALL bad." This was definitely the point where I was like, "Hey, this is the one decent Papa Roach song!" I was legit angry when I realized this was that song, I forgot I ever loved a Papa Roach song, I was 10000% sure this was a cover because there was no way I was going to go anywhere but IN on this song, but no, this is a song I shouted in the shower at least five times. I'm so disappointed in myself right now, but... But, yeah, this is, I can’t quite place where they cribbed the verses from but they cribbed well, the chorus is shouty and fake-deep like all the great buttrock songs, and I love that ending, the “one last kiss” thing over that bass line, without reservation. We have to be true to who we were, and who we are is never fully removed from who we were. I hate this. I hate having to admit this. THE ONE PAPA ROACH SONG I FUCK WITH, AND IT HAS TO BE PART OF THIS PROJECT. I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT A KENDRICK LAMAR SONG SOON, AND HERE I AM, FUCKING WITH A PAPA ROACH SONG, THROWING MY CRITICAL AUTHORITY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER.

97) "Breath," Breaking Benjamin

I have less reservations about loving a Breaking Benjamin song, though, because Breaking Benjamin wasn't fake-deep like Papa Roach. ("My feelings for you are forever." God, that's stupid. I love a very stupid thing.) No, Breaking Benjamin was legit dark, they were a buttrock band I knew was OK because my friend who ended up going to a semi-prestigious art high school of some renown was into them. Is it the same song as "The Diary of Jane?" Yeah, kinda, there's more than a little resemblance, "THE DIARY OF JANE" IS A LEGIT GREAT SONG AND BITING THAT SONG IS A SMART MOVE.

At least Papa Roach couldn’t crack the Top 20. 2007: gaining strength! 20) "Get it Shawty," by Lloyd (3.31.2007) 19) "Break 'Em Off," by Paul Wall ft./Lil' KeKe (3.10.2007) 18) "My Oh My," by The Wreckers (1.27.2007) 17) "Mr. Jones," by Mike Jones (1.27.2007) 16) "Settlin'," by Sugarland (2.17.2007) 15) "I Tried," by Bone Thugs 'n Harmony (4.21.2007) 14) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 13) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 12) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 11) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.21.2007) 10) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 9) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 8) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 7) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 6) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 5) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.21.2007) 4) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 3) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 2) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 1) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007)

4.15.2017

22) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar

I mean, with the way I do this thing, everything that's been said about this song has been said, and I'm hella late to the party, trying to get another round of Pin the Tail on the Donkey started. "You didn't have fun without me, I'm about to have fun WITH you!" No Bob! we already played that game Bob!. "BLINDFOLD ME!" I think it's vitally important that Kendrick Lamar remind everyone that he's the best MC alive right now, because he is, and gosh, he just fucking raps for four minutes. Barely a hook, just Kendrick Lamar verses and flows for a solid four minutes, and I'm really curious how many rappers could sustain a song for four (mostly) uninterrupted minutes just on their own. Minimalist production, it's just your voice and your words. I'd put Danny Brown in that category, but it'd be a bleak-ass four minutes. I want to put Killer Mike in that category, but I have to think there's a reason he works best in a duo. I'd want to listen to what four minutes of undiulted Young Thug would sound like?, but more out of curiosity than belief in his ability. And I mean Kendrick's the only one in the popular consciousness who could do it, no fuckin’ question, there's no one in the mainstream rap world anywhere NEAR his level. (Kendrick Lamar is barely mainstream, of course, and that fact is a source of much consternation on this song, like there's no way the entire Kendrick album breaks the Hot 100 like the entire Drake album did, but he was in a Tay Tay song the one time and that's enough.) Just listening to Kendrick Lamar rap is one of the most thrilling songs I've heard for YAS 2017. Honestly, I'm ranking it too low in the Top 20, but only because I have to think better things are on their way and am wary of that recency bias wave.

49) "XO Tour Lif3," by Lil Uzi Vert

Congratulations on being the modern rap song which followed "The Heart Part 4!" You were always going to suffer in comparison, and while I regret that it happened to you, I hope you understand it had to happen to someone. I mean, this is a three-minute song, and at some point I got bored enough that I forgot I was supposed to be paying attention to come up with an observation and/or a joke and did other things. Not even shit I needed to take care of, I checked Facebook and thought about getting a glass of milk until he started saying all his friends are dead, like what?, oh okay I guess that's how this song ends then, OH FUCK well prolly not worth dipping back in if I got that distracted.

61) "Speak to a Girl," by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

So over the last four weeks, only three women have had tracks debut on the Hot 100. That's pretty cool. One of the three dudes who wrote this song, about what a girl REALLY wants from a man, was also a co-writer on Jason Derulo's "Wiggle," which is, I mean, I'm going off Wikipedia, I'm hopeful this is too awful to be true, but if it isn't, how does that dude sleep at night? What does that dude believe in? Who is his god, just, to what moral authority is our man Joe London holding himself accountable? Do Not Trust Joe London. Another of the songwriters worked with a band called Confederate Railroad. Country music is the coolest. I'm so proud to like this genre.

66) "Still Got Time," by ZAYN ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR

First of all, we need to take a minute to discuss the sheer disrespect for the concept of caps lock expressed by ZAYN and PARTYNEXTDOOR. This is a mumblecore pop song, and I must insist these dudes cease using all capital letters until they prove they're capable of expressing excitement. Other than that gripe, though, I dunno, I didn't have a bad time! I enjoyed it about as much as I did "Running Back" a few weeks ago, it didn't light this Tuesday evening on fire, but it was a chill groove, and I appreciated the B+ to which all involved contributed. Also, new favorite Wikipedia line: "Shane Lindstrom, professionally known as Murda Beatz." One, professionally known. Two, imagine ever asking someone to call you Murda. Gosh, what a stupid fucking stage name. (Stage name? Backstage name? Why do you need an alias bro you're a fucking producer, you don't get to have a fake name, the fuck makes you think you can have a fake name. Even Swizz Beatz rapped sometimes, what is your goddamned problem Murda Beatz.)

2017′s Top 20! I lowered “Run Up” again. I miss it dearly but I can’t pretend I liked it more than “Green Light.” 20) "Swalla," by Jason Derulo ft./Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign (4.8) 19) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 18) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 17) "Draco," by Future (3.11) 16) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 15) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 14) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 10) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 9) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) how the fuck did “swalla” make it two weeks Also, I know there was a new Iggy Azalea song, and I’m just gonna say, if having to listen to 21 Drake songs was the price I paid to not have to hear 1 Iggy Azalea song, I will have been glad to have paid the toll. That is a reasonable trade, one I would never say no to. Boy I hope it doesn’t debut next week! Also: “iSpy” in the for-real top five! That’s so dope! I’m happy for that song!

Who won the week?

2007 had the stronger showing this week, and let’s be real, I think it’s out-paced 2017 at this point. 2007′s at the point where “Get It Shawty” is hanging on by a thread while “Grace Kelly” and “Outside Looking In” are outside looking in. 2017 needs to step its game up. We’re two weeks from “Umbrella.” Is that so much to ask, is for just one instant classic era-defining monster jam that shatters the world? Come on, 2017! 2007: 2 2017: 1