#somebody on twitter gave me the idea ok

[literaticat]

i'm sure you're soooo over author/agent drama, but there's been more, and honestly, i'm freaked out. i feel like a lot of agents close to mine (not my agent but in the same circle) have been making some bad calls and getting trashed online, and it's making me worry something bad will happen for my agent/agency. am i being unreasonable? should i be worried?

A LOT of agents? Yikes. I did log on to Xitter just to see what the drama was this time, and I saw something about ONE agent, so I don't know about LOTS.

Long story very short, and what I presume you are talking about, this weekend an agent did a terribly ill-considered tweet basically saying that they loved the premise of some query but didn't love the material, and would love a story like that if somebody else wanted to write it. Which is a bonkers thing to tweet -- first, because the smallest child should realize that would be insulting as hell to the author whose work with that premise you JUST TURNED DOWN -- but also, because it makes YOU look like you are an idea-thief encouraging idea-thievery.

Naturally, the writers of Xitter took umbrage and had themselves a dog-pile, the agent deactivated their account, and by the end of the day, the agency announced that agent had been fired. Meanwhile, there are a ton of agitated writers talking about "toxic and predatory agents" and how "this is so typical of agents" etc -- which just ISN'T TRUE, actually.

I would say that this is not an example of a schmagent, or predator -- it's an example of somebody whose brain was on vacation while their fingers were working overtime. Agents should not be talking about queries publicly at all, and should CERTAINLY not be insulting queriers -- it's hard as hell to write a book, and it's brave as hell to put your work out there!

That being said, I don't really buy the "idea thievery" of it all -- they gave general comps in their tweet, not any kind of specifics; if you gave 30 writers the same comps, you'd come up with 30 different works. LOTS of books have the same comps or similar premises and in fact are totally different from one another. Authors put their own premises and comps on twitter all the time, and don't seem too worried that somebody is going to steal them. ALSO, If an agent were TRYING to idea-thief, they wouldn't do it on twitter, they'd do it under cover of night. But hey -- it's for sure not great.

Here's the thing, though. OK actually multiple things:

a) The agency in question is a reputable agency with great agents and amazing clients, and they took decisive action pretty much the moment they realized an agent of theirs EFFED UP, which is far from an easy thing to do. I don't know the agent in question, but the boss is my friend -- but even if she weren't, I'd know she's a GREAT AGENT with GREAT CLIENTS, and pretty much a walking green flag.

b) This comment was careless, yes. Ill-considered, certainly. EVIL, probably not. But in any event, it's truly NOT reflective of how most agents think or behave.

c) twitter is not the real world -- long-term, this will not be likely to have a negative effect on the agency's ability to make great deals or anything else. The authors who just had their agent vanish will continue to either be supported by other agents at the agency, or they will find other agents quickly if they decide to leave. The other authors repped by the agency will, I'd assume, remain loyal to their fine agents who had nothing to do with anything. The agency, then, will continue to have good agents, good clients, and work with good publishers, and this rough weekend will be in the rearview except for maybe now and again some twitter snark that most people will not even understand because the origin of it will be forgotten and most people aren't on twitter, actually. Perhaps most importantly,

d) Dumb internet comments are not contagious.

If you are happily agented, I see zero reason you need to concern yourself about what internet buffoonery MIGHT happen. It probably won't happen! And if something unforeseen and weird ever DID happen with an agent at your agency, I would hope that the agency would handle it with grace and you'd be affected as little as possible. I just don't think that's something you need to worry about, there's enough to worry about IRL without INVENTING bad scenarios!

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 72: Wisdom of Solomon

Honestly, I just think it looks kinda funny.

Look at all the shits Aladdin doesn't give.

Sth about the way his smile falls.

OOF

Idk I just think it's a pretty cool pose

Honestly, he looks so cool this chapter.

You go, boy

Honestly, I'm only putting it here bc it's Judar saying that. I sometimes forget that he's pretty smart. When it comes to magic, at least.

I still love it so much that Ugo was teaching him this entire time, because he knew he wouldn't always be there to protect him;;;

And also Aladdin raising his hands like a conductor. Looks awesome.

Honestly, so far, pretty hype chapter, which Imma be honest with you, it was very needed. After all these chapters of misery and desperation, we finally have something that turns the tides, something that makes us breath a litte easier, because not all hope's lost.

It's totally random, but it made me think about a post of the screenshot from Twitter about somebody complaining that Dune has no humor in it - and, just for the record, the entire explanation of that person's point is very good and exactly what I'm referring to. That is, the humor lets you calm down a little so that whatever awful comes next fucks you up even harder. And I thought about it, bc it's kind of like that here? The tides are turning, as I've said, so we feel like things can still turn out ok.

But they won't. Cassim will have his heart-to-heart with Alibaba and die, people will see their dead loved ones and calm down, and Balbadd will still be lost. We're made believe things will be alright and that we'll win, but in the end we'll lose so much. I think looking at it like that is pretty neat.

I forgot Alibaba's still next to him.

Get wrecked bithc

Oh, right, you were still kinda impaled.

He's sending Sinbad & Morgiana somewhere else, but I'm kinda putting it here bc it reminds me abt one scene in the Magnostadt Arc?

"Gimme a sec," I say, as if it wasn't my post that I'm only gonna publish after writing the entire thing.

HA. KNEW IT.

Anyway, so this is Aladdin's gtfo pose.

Give it a few more arcs & you're not gonna be so happy.

First of all, I love that Aladdin's able to read the situation here & conclude that, nope, no can do. There's this humility to him, which in this moment is pretty horrifying - he came in & gave everybody hope, only to admit that he can't win against Judar as they are now. Scary as it is, though, it's much smarter than hoping they can just... power through. Sometimes you can't, and admitting that you can't is more likely to help than trying to force it. At least this way, they can begin to come up with other ideas.

The other thing is, Alibaba's reaction. I might be reading too much into this, which, fair, I tend to, but I'm thinking about Alibaba's tendency to just... trust others so much, so easily. Which is fascinating, considering he has every right to have severe trust issues, given how often he gets betrayed, but at the same time, it kinda connects. Alibaba is quick to trust and believe (given at least one reason), and he can be a bit naive in this. If he trusts somebody, he trusts them all the way. When Hakuryuu goes nuts, he still goes to him to try to talk, believing Hakuryuu isn't too far gone (which is proven very wrong), or in the Magnostadt Arc, the moment Sinbad & SSA arrive, he just. Fuckign faints like that. He's been keeping himself up with sheer willpower, and the moment somebody he believes in appeares, he just relaxes. He can let them handle that, right?

And it's kind of the same here. Aladdin, who'd bailed him out of pretty bad situations a few times, is here, so things are going to be alright, right? But no. Aladdin admits, he can't win. There's no easy way out, leaving it for others to handle. Alibaba needs to put in his work, too.

I wouldn't describe Alibaba as selfish, but when you really think about is, his self-confidence issues are making him selfish in situations like that. It's one thing to let somebody help you, but it's another to have somebody do all the heavy lifting, you know? It kinda makes me think about the contrast between Alibaba & Sinbad. Alibaba's belief in everybody but himself vs Sinbad's belief in himself only. Obviously, the right choice is in between. Early SnB!Sinbad wasn't so bad, but the seeds were there, and he just kept digging himself deeper and deeper into the extreme. Alibaba, on the other hand, started off on the extreme, and slowly learnt to believe in himself to eventually find himself in that healthy middle ground.

Man, I really dislike putting entire pages, but, honestly, this is so good. Aladdin reminding him why he fights, and showing him how people feel the same, how he was the one to push them forward.

"Everyone's hopes within their hearts." Small reminder that all Amon's spells have hope-related names. For example, from the wikii: "Amol Dherrsaiqa [...] is a corruption of the Arabic phrase صاعِقة ظِرّ الأَمَل Ṣā3iqa(t) Ẓirr Al-Amal, which means "Flint Lightning of Hope"."

I really love that. This is Alibaba's role in the story, after all. But if you think about it, it's all the King Vessels' role, Alibaba's just the one who ends up the most succesful.

It looks kinda funny

RIP Alibaba

All we know about that Wisdom of Solomon thing is the hype and that Al-Thamen freaks out. Neat.

Also, I really like what it turned out to be. It's not some deus-ex-machina trick to fix everything. Frankly, it's not all that useful on its own. But Aladdin is capable of making use of it, because he puts in the work to make use of it. I'm not feeling the right kind of wordy today, but basically, he isn't just given a power up, he actively works to turn it into a power up.

[dividethesheepy]

late night rant. I’m ok I promise lol

I can’t grasp the idea that I’ll be ever good for someone. Its been about a year and some change now and I’m still haunted by this bs. I gave my everything into that relationship and just feel so used up and neglected and cheated out of years of my life. Like even in a pandemic, bits of me were taken away from me mentality and I held it down. But when it was the other way around I was left in the dust, spent a whole year with my Ex and her new partner. The strength it took not to do anything crazy is frightening. I have too much to lose on top of what I’ve already lost. I know its stupid to dwell on the past but its just hard sometimes. Not everyone goes through the same hardships and people take those hardships differently. Were not all built the same way, so this will be effecting me until I decide for myself my worth and get over my fears. I deserve the best but am I owed the best? No, I got to work harder and get back into life and replace the last 4 wasted years. OK no I wont say they were entirely wasted. I did learn some things and became a better adult but to endure the pain and suffering it wasn’t worth it. That person took a lot more away than they think, or choose to think... fact is they were dumb as rocks when it came to common sense. There’s talent there but they don’t see it and they feed off the person willing to provide that to them. Its stupid to think just because your ex did that to you and you were fine with it and actually enjoyed being in that situation doesn’t me I’m going to give the same mutual feeling. I was crushed, defeated, and imprisoned there were multiple times I could’ve fucked you over but decided against it, and you used it against me. You knew I would never do it, you took the genuine person in me and manipulated it and then when it came to you in the same situation you took the first chance you took. That’s fucked up, and I hope more karma comes your way.

Call it what you want, I am disgruntled, I am envious, I am vengeful, I hold grudges, IDC that’s me, that’s who I am. Doesn’t matter how many times you think you did nothing wrong, and choose to believe that you’re some nice person who cares about your friends. You can keep neglecting all I’ve done for you by putting him on a pedestal like he was your savior. Things you wanted and got vs things I wanted and never got. I still have all the letters you gave me and it hurts reading them because they are all lies to me now. How can one put so much heart into it and then poof do more and present more to the new guy than what you’ve done for me. All fake yooo that’s who you really are. You can choose to believe whatever your little mind tells you but in reality you’re a cold hearted bitch. 

I’m sorry I got to stop looking a social media, small shit really triggers me and look I wrote a lot just now. Had to just relive some steam. I’m playing two people now when it comes to that person. I’m a friend online but in real life you anything, just somebody I use to know... yeah I know Goyte pun lol.

I miss my cat so much too, she got to keep the cat in the divorce... fucking cunt. It sucked too cuz I think she favored her more than me because she spent the most time with her than me cuz I always worked. I always made time that I could provide but it wasn’t enough, she always wanted to be with her even though she neglected her most of the time lol. Now on twitter I just retweet cat photos or videos cuz thats how much I miss that fucking bitch lol.

I’m really a complexed person I would go to bat for someone or ask if they need something or is something is wrong but could never get the same. And I don’t like to ask for that treatment back, I’m very prideful and stubborn but damn my mental be hurting a lot. Like I've never lived alone in my life but since last year it really does feel like I live alone. I’m never here I’m always working I barely see anyone. The one person I actually called and want to call is gone now so its just empty feelings now. It pains me because I feel like I had all that time to actually be with my mom and didn’t grasp it because I made other obligations to others. Now that its reverse she isn’t available and I’ve wasted all that precious time. Its going to hurt for a long time, Christmas was horrible, New Years was devastating, I called my stepdad on his birthday because my mom would always text me to call him and I didn’t get one this year but I remember it clear as day because she never made me forget it lol. 

I miss my mom everyday, and I keep hearing her voice hella randomly and it just hurts that I won’t hear anything else from her. That day was probably the worse day of my life, the pain I endured that day was so heartbreaking. I appreciate everyone I called and comforted me during that dark time. Always take the time to talk to your parents even if you're hella busy you step right the fuck out and you answer that call because you never know if that would be the last time you talk/see them ever again. Cherish every moment because they can just poof.

In the end the only thing I got out of the last 4 years was loss and an estimated 12,000 closet. My dog, My cat, My relationship and my mom all in a year and 55 pairs of shoes because it fills the hole in me from those losses. 

Honestly I feel much better just typing this all out. fuck a diary RETURN OF TUMBLR lol.

[shellshooked]

head empty ijust jedi!link brainrot

[casualblacklight]

Do you all remember the artworks from the SR4 credits?

And those are not even all of them...

A few months ago I really wrote to SR on twitter bcs I asked if we would be able to get them in better resolution. (lol that message costed me at least 10 years of my lifetime bcs I really don't wanna bother them and I felt stupid as heck for asking) But as expected I didn't even get an answer, so whatever 😂

For real... I wish we'd get better resolution qwq

It's the kind of stuff I'd totally print and put on my walls bcs I love those so much 🥺 Those pics gave me feelies ok... and all the artworks are drawn by somebody... I think that person deserves that their art is shown in better resolution.... Don't even wanna know how much work went into them (╥﹏╥)

And I actually really love the idea of the Saints time travelling bcs all the fun (I know alot of you don't like it v.v but it's just my opinion)

Yeah it's just random bla bla bla... but I really love those artworks and wonder if I'm the only one here tbh xD

[veronicaduartes]

Thoughts

So, the thing is... I feel devastated.

I loved somebody, gave him my all and he trew me away like a pile of trash. As if he never cared for me and the last 2 years of my life were just wasted.

I worked so hard on these last 2 years, I come from a broken family, abusive father, emotionally-unavailable mother (she did her best though, she had it DAMN hard all her life). On January 2020 I got into a car crash and no one believed my version of the story, they prefered to believe I was drunk-driving (which I wasn't) and it was all my fault (which it wasn't).

So I got really resentful and decided to get myself a job, stop depending on my mother and having to put up with all the shame inflicted on me. I started working at a call center, barely made minimun wage salary but I was saving as much money as I could to get out of my house (rent a room somewhere since it was all I could afford).

At the same time, I was dating a really nice guy, that I had only met a couple of months prior. He was 6 years older than me and already had a stable job so he decided to move out with me, wherever we decided to go.

It's April now, and on the 24th night of the month we moved in together. I was on cloud 9, we were so happy, I had a the shittiest job but coming home to him and watching TV together was everything I wanted and it was worth every damn second answering the phone.

But as the months passed the guy I loved grew apart from me. Suddenly we were not spending the nights together, all he did was play videogames with his friends all night until 7am in the morning sometimes, while I was growing lonelier and lonelier. Sex wasn't even happening, and I thought he didn't want me anymore. I told him about my discomfort and he promised to make some time for me.

Some more months passed and it was ok, but the situation repeated itself, and of course I was sad again. Many hours of thinking and analyzing patterns later, I decided it wasn't working anymore for me and it was time to call it quits.

I don't know what I expected that night but as the time came, I told him to break up. He seemingly reacted very calm and peacefull so I told him we could stay friends. The next day I had to go to work, I felt really sad but hadn't even realized in my mind that our relationship was over, until I received a text from him that said "I'm moving out on Thursday". That text just sunk into my stomach and as I got home to find an empty house it felt even worse. He had already gone to his parents' house, without even saying goodbye.

I was incredibly dissapointed, I thought that if he loved me he would've fight back, or at least not ran away on the first shot he got. Anyway, so he told me he was coming on Wednesday to organize his stuff into boxes and move out Thursday in the morning. I told him we could have a last dinner together, just to give some closure to me, as I felt I needed closure and so we did. Turns out on Wednesday night after talking a couple of hours he ended up crying and asking me if he could stay. I told him he had made the strongest desition by hiring that truck to move out and getting all his shit into boxes so, there was no backing off now. (By the way, some of the appliances were his' such as the refrigerator which he did not hesitate to leave me with all the food on the floor to rot as he took his damn refrigerator). On the next morning I told him goodbye and we went our separate ways.

Since I couldn't pay the rent all by myself I was left with no other choice than to go back to my parents' house. They helped me with the moving but I still felt like a damn failure coming back, while I still mourned the end of our relationship and cried myself to sleep every night.

Some weeks passed and one morning, I woke up with a text of his telling me "I miss you". I told him I missed him too (which I really did) and so we agreed to meet once again to talk. We met and the inevitable happened: after some crying we got back together. Still living apart though. Months passed and everything was going great! Still had our arguments but by this time we had already figured out how to talk our differences with love and patience.

**At this point I need to give you some important context: since I come from a broken family, I DON'T want kids. I really don't want to have kids of my own, not as of now or in the future. I don't discard adopting, I believe that's a very beautiful way to become a parent, but I really do not want to go through pregnancy and all those things having a baby comes with. I have always been very honest about it when I'm meeting people because on past relationships I've had this issue. So, since I was meeting this guy I was talking about, back on 2019, I told him I didn't want kids and he seemed to be on the same page as me. He even told me he wanted to get the male contraceptive injection that was soon going to be available on the market. Everything seemed fime.**

So, back to the story. On January 2021, my boyfriend's sister found out she was pregnant, everyone on his family was really happy because, on the contrary as myself, they have a really beautiful, happy and healthy family (everything I wished for). I was really happy for them as well and my boyfriend and I even went shopping some nice things for the baby. We bought the cutest and fluffiest bear costume. It was adorable.

As more months passed, I saw my boyfriend getting more and more excited about babies and the idea of having babies. Since he knew my position, he eventually taked to me about wanting to have babies in the future. I told him my position has not changed and most likely it will not change. I can't predict the future of course and can't know what my mind will think on 5-10 years, but I was honest with him and told him that the odds of me changing my mind are quite low, not to say inexistant. But he was confused, he still didn't know if he wanted kids or not. So I told him "think about it and whenever you have made up your mind, let me know".

On August 27th, about 12 am in the morning, his nephew was born, strong and healthy. I was really happy for all his family, since I know how much they already loved that boy. I sent them my best wishes and since he came out by c-section, they had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days.

Later that same day, I published some stupid game on instagram which really doesn't matter much what it was about but somehow it got us into a discussion and he told me "this is one of the best days of my life for you to fuck it up"... Those words really took me by surprise, I was happy and silly, literally just joking him around but he reacted very strongly and rude.

How in the hell is it ever going to be my intention to ruin his day? I thought he was very defensive. He stoped taking to me and returned hours later. However, I was really hurt and I felt like we really needed to talk about it. He sort of apologized but we couldn't continue the conversation since he was already sleepy and told me if we could continue the next day. I told him it was fine, of course.

The next day came and he didn't remember to get back to the conversation, he just pretended as if everything was fine. Another day passed so I reminded him and he told me it was late already and he was tired, so if we could talk the next day (again). A week passed and he never remembered to catch up with the conversation (or ignored it). I still felt sad and hurt and so, when making plans for the weekend I told him how I felt and that we needed to talk. We agreed on a day and place, but he followed telling me he knew I have been upset but he just ignored me... So basically that started the fight once again. How the hell if you know someone you love is upset and sad you just ignore it? Do you care how I feel at all? Some things were said and I didn't understand where did this sudden hate come from.

Ever since the baby was born he had been defensive and treating me badly like that (something I had never seen before on him). I was utterly confused until he confessed it to me: he was somehow angry with me because I do not want kids..... I had no words, how the hell was I supposed to knew that? It did make a lot of sense though, his behaviour was immediately explained to me. However he started blaming me on his smoking and a bunch of other crap I have no blame on. Turns out he told me: he decided he does wants kids and therefore I no longer had a place in his life. I told him to tell me, to confirm me if that meant we were breaking up, to at least have the guts to tell that to my face (metaphorically cause this conversation was all by text). I begged him for a goodbye, once again, to get some closure. I deserve closure, but he wasn't even able to tell me goodbye. To tell me I was a good girlfriend, to thank me for all the love I gave him, for all the times I had advised him, for all the memories we had together, to thank me for at least giving him my all. He knew I loved him, he really did.

And I respect his reason, I really do. If he wants kids and I don't then there's no point of staying together if we're going on different paths. However, it's been a week from the breakup. I'm still here devastated, crying, stalking his twitter every 5 minutes to see if there's any clue that he might be thinking of me. But all I see is the opposite. He's saying that he's happy, posting pictures with his baby-born nephew, it's almost as if I never meant anything to him. One week with the baby and I'm already out of his life. Am I so damn disposable? Does he not remember any of the happy moments we spent together? All the love that I gave him? How I even fought my own family to defend him? How I cared for him... It sucks, it really sucks.

The next morning after the breakup he had already deleated all his pictures with me on social media. So, on the next day I did the same. Oh how damn hard it was to delete that video I made about us and our adventures... I spent about 8 hours collecting little clips of our trips and I loved the end result so much... and now it's gone... forever, along with our memories.

It really sucks, some days I am ok, with just a little hole inside of me but overall ok... and some other days I feel like I want to die (yes, literally die). I cry everytime I remember. I have no friends. I can't tweet about how damn sad I feel because I don't want any of his friends or my friends even to see me how devastated and dependant I am.

The thing is, I don't believe he understands how much he meant to me... how much I loved him and how safe I felt on his arms. He's got lots of friends, a supporting family, tons of hobbies... while I'm here depressed, no job, no friends, nobody to talk to, living in my parents' house. I literally feel as if this 2 years, I tried so hard and it ended up being all wasted. I'm back to square one: no job, no money, no relationship. Lonely and sad once again.

I wish I could be like those strong women who stay single for very long periods of time... but I'm lonely. I usually need someone to hear me, someone to talk to. I like having someone to share my life with.

Sometimes I hate myself for having this romantic expectation of a perfect relationship that lasts forever and the love flame never dies... I guess Disney channel really damaged me. The dream is slowly dying though, at this moment I'm all out of hope. I know there are some men out there that would like to be with me, but I see no point in that.

First of all, I'm not interested in anybody. I don't like anybody, I don't even want men near me. I'm literally out of hope and I don't even want to meet anybody because eveything will eventually end up this way. I don't believe anymore. And it's dangerous to be out of hope.

Sometimes I'm scared, like, literally scared to become suicidal or something. Right now I'm not, sometimes I wish to die but I don't think I'm brave enough to do it myself. And then I stop to think that my mom doesn't deserve that pain. But yeah, sometimes I'm scared I may end up like Chester Bennington; with so many songs that basically were a cry for help but nobody ever took it that way because he looked so healthy and confident.

And I know I'm a great actress, I know people don't even suspect I have been fighting depression for years now. Every single day is a struggle and I'm tired already. I'm honestly so tired to be battling every day I just want to be free and give up but I can't since my demons are all inside of me.

I quit my job a month ago cause I thought that would give me happiness but guess what? Yeah, it didn't. Somehow it was easier having something to blame, than realizing that the only one to blame is yourself.

My boyfriend knew I was having a hard time with these thoughts already, he told me I should go to therapy. But I have no money to spend on therapy... and also, as I said in the beggining, nor do I have a supporting family, if they know I want to go to therapy they will think I'm crazy.

I have always been very strong, and showcased myself as a really strong woman, who thinks and analyzes and makes rational desitions... but it was always been just an act, when I'm by myself I cry a lot, I have a lot of traumas which I have been working really hard on for years now, but as I said, I'm tired.

I'm so tired of having to fight a battle everyday, I honestly just want peace and I'm scared I will never find it. Cause I can't stay like this for much longer. I know I won't hold up all my life with this sadness.

I quit my job because I wanted to start my own business. At first I was so excited about it but now I just can't find ANY motivation to work at all.

I don't know if he left me because I'm crazy and too much to handle, which reinforces my lack of hope in relationships. It has happened to me before, I don't know if all men are the same and they all forget you once they have you, which really sucks... Or if on the contrary, I keep seeking emotionally-unavailable people, just as my childhood attachment...

At least right now some friends have showed up and I have told them I've been having a hard time with this breakup (haven't told about all the other issues though, but it's a first step)... though I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it. I don't want to burst into tears and dramaticly crying in public, but oh well... We'll see how it goes.

Right now, all these thoughts are making me crazy. Sometimes I'm angry with my ex-boyfriend for leaving me right when I needed him the most... but it was a relationship doomed to end, and somehow deep inside me I always knew it. Still, that doesn't remove all the pain I'm feeling right now. If anything, just makes me blame myself for letting it come this far and letting myself fall so hard in love with somebody I knew wasn't right.

I don't know what to do right now... I'm dying to talk to him, but I know I must not. He doesn't miss me, he never loved me as much as I loved him (I don't know if he even has the capability of loving so deeply as I loved him) and we're not even compatible and I wasn't even enjoying his company so much lately... but you know, my feelings do not act by reason and I HATE them so much because of that. I feel like they dominate me, instead of me dominating them.

I gotta be strong and reasonable... These are the moments where I wish I had faith in God or something to give me strenght but I don't even believe in anything.

Why do we always cry and suffer so much about people that don't even deserve it? People that are no good for us...

Songs in my mind right now:

* Phil Collins - Against all odds

* Olivia Rodrigo - Good 4 u

* Olivia Rodrigo - All I want

* Taylor Swift - Cardigan

* Selena Gomez - The heart wants what I wants

Most likely no one will read this, but it helped me try to organize some thoughts in my head so that's enough for me. Luckily, no one uses tumblr anymore.

[louadorable126]

Demons(you).me: Chapter 7 - The Cult of Fortuna’s charity event (Part 1)

Artwork Commissioned from Aya/Itouyas on twitter! Please check her out! <3

>>Click here to read on Ao3!<<

Summary:

In a city controlled by the generally altered race of Demons, Lady's life as a mercenary on the lower floor was never easy. Especially when she ran into Dante. A demon on the hunt for his missing brother.

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Fandom: Devil May Cry

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Characters: Vergil, Lady, Dante, Agnus, Sanctus, Gloria..

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Chapter 7:

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Vergil muttered under his breath to his companion.

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t.” Lady responded, equally quietly. Maintain a cool composure as the two of them were hurried along by an elegant receptionist striding ahead of them. Chatting idly into her earpiece and nodding to herself, as she wordlessly gestured with her tablet for the pair to go around another corner. Guiding them deeper and deeper into the grand building. “Hey look! Security is up ahead.”

“That it is.” Vergil remarked absently, as the group approached a group of well armed men standing guard outside a pair of large, blackout glass doors. Trying his best to calm his racing heart, and shut down any panic that dared to enter his mind in that moment.

Truth be told, this kind of situation was completely foreign to him. For one, he didn’t have Yamato on him. His ultimate safety net was left abandoned in Lady’s apartment after a heated debate between the two of them. Lady only won in the end by a small margin, through appealing to his logical thought process. Pointing out, as she had so crudely put it: ‘Where the hell are we supposed to hide it then?! Are you going to shove it up your ass or something?"

So he was weaponless. Just the thing he needed when he was diving head first into the belly of the beast. At least Lady had a weapon on her, as far as he knew. Not.. that he had seen its exact whereabouts for himself. He did have an inkling of an idea where it might be located. But the thought alone set his face alight with shame. It would be completely unfitting of him to ask her what lay beneath her dress-

“Excuse me, sir!” A deep, robotic voice barked. Snapping Vergil back to reality. He found himself standing before one of the armoured guards, dressed in a peculiar white and gold combination. An old-fashioned crest branded on their chest. "Could I have your identification and ticket please? Your partner has already handed her one over.”

“Of course.” To have to pretend to be somebody else, right to an enemies’ face, was a daunting task for anyone. Let alone one that was already an uninvited guest in this place. Vergil felt incredibly exposed in that moment, as he reached into the pocket of his leafy-coloured suit. Grabbing for what he knew would be empty air in his pocket. The guard watched on expectantly, his fingers coming to rest on the trigger of his white rifle the longer he took. Of course, failure was going to come to them before they even got inside!

“Ah! Don’t worry about him! "He’s my- uh... a-assistant?" Lady suddenly blurted out nervously; putting herself in front of him.  Assistant?! Who did she think he was?! Her personal damn maid!? “I thought events like this allowed plus ones?”

The guard physically backed down at her words. Lowering his rifle. “So he’s with you madam?”

“Yes!” Lady nodded adamantly.

The guard turned aside for one moment and reached a hand up to the side of his helmet, mumbling a string of intelligible, static-soaked words across what must’ve been some sort of intercom. A high-pitched whine soon came in response, causing the guard to nod his head in understanding. Not a moment later, he glanced over at his co-worker by the door. Giving a hearty thumbs up to him in acceptance of her claim.

Without another word, the other guard sprang to life from his stony vigil. Swiftly opening the glass door wide for the pair, and allowing a marvelous concerto of violins and idle chatter to bleed through the entrance way.

“You’re free to enter. Just don’t let that assistant of your's leave your sights, alright?” The guard ordered strictly. Moving aside and gesturing for the two to pass.

“Will do. Thanks!” Lady smiled widely - and rather falsely to Vergil’s eyes - as the woman suddenly grabbed a firm hold of his arm. The pair hurriedly striding inside, before the door shut behind them.

“Your Assistant? Just what am I to you?!” Vergil growled angrily, finally free to vent his frustration. He looked down at his black dressed companion by his side with burning discontent in his eyes. Unable to believe the cheek of this woman to think that he’d willingly be her- her personal slave! He was already Dante’s long suffering vassal whether he liked it or not!

“Look, it was that or fiancé. Just be glad I didn’t choose the other in the spur of the moment!” Lady deflected in a joking tone. Casually let go of his arm now no-one was looking, and placed her hands on her hips. “Come on, you knew what being the plus one meant. And I’ll have you know I’m a very accomplished business woman, Mr Assistant!”

“In what field?” He huffed in a sarcastic voice, turning his head away. When Lady couldn’t respond imminently, a small smile crept onto Vergil’s lips. It seems I've won this round.

The mercenary soon gave in with a frustrated sigh. “Let’s not go in too deep into my backstory, ok?” She walked down the short glass corridor overlooking the city, ahead of him, towards the swelling noise. “You coming or not, Vergil?”

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>>Click here to Read more!<<

[smooshjames]

forget you not (v)

how come they don’t make ‘em like you, babe? (or: a night to hold on to)

word count: 3.6k

a/n: ok this is technically the final part of forget you not as it’s currently written, but i may write an epilogue if i’m feeling up to it. but either way, thank you for reading and i hope you’ve enjoyed!! as always, all songs that have been mentioned or will be mentioned are not mine; they belong to little mix. this chapter only has one, which you can listen to here. also, i have a ko-fi, so if you want / are able to buy me a coffee, i would sincerely appreciate it! alright, i believe that’s everything i need so say, so without further ado, here’s part five of forget you not. thank you againn for reading, i hope you enjoy!

warnings: more angst, Implied Sexual Content(tm)

previous parts: one, two, three, four

No one pressed you for details on your conversation with Shayne, which you were glad for. You didn’t even know what to think about it yourself, much less how to explain it to other people, even to your best friends. You went through the last event of the day in a sort of trance, barely speaking throughout the whole interview. If anyone asked you about it, you figured you could just blame it on being exhausted after a long day.

As soon as you were free, you went straight back to your hotel room and locked yourself in the bathroom for an hour so that you could shower and decompress. Once you had scrubbed all your makeup off and changed into more comfortable clothes, you came out of the bathroom and found your hotel room empty. There was a note from Carly that read the following:

Hey Buttercup,

I figured you’d want some time and space so I went over to Alexis and Piper’s room. If you want to talk, or just to have some company, feel free to come join us. We were thinking about going out for dinner so text me if you want something.

I love you. You’re the baddest bitch I ever met.

-- C

You smiled at her thoughtfulness and went to crawl into bed. You scrolled through Twitter for a while but found your eyelids growing heavier as the sun began to disappear behind the horizon. It wasn’t that late, only about eight o’clock, but between getting up early and having such an exhausting day, you soon found yourself dragged off into sleep.

You woke up around eleven, groggy and disoriented. When you sat up, you saw Carly entering your darkened room. “Hey,” you said, voice rough with sleep and disuse. “How was dinner?”

“It was good,” she said. “You feeling okay?”

You sighed. “I don’t know,” you said. You dug around in the sheets for your phone and eventually found it. It was almost dead so you went to plug it in. There were no pressing notifications; the only things of note were a text from one of your friends back home and a text from Carly, sent shortly after you’d fallen asleep, which was just her double-checking that you didn’t want anything for dinner. “I kind of feel like somebody punched through my ribcage and started squeezing my heart.”

“I think that’s called a heart attack,” Carly said, smiling. You laughed despite yourself. “In all seriousness, I don’t blame you. This weekend has been utterly insane. I’m gonna shower and get some sleep, though, okay? We need to be up early tomorrow so we can pack before we fly home.”

You nodded. She rooted around in her suitcase for a change of clothes and then disappeared into the bathroom. You considered her words. You weren’t sure if you wanted to go home the next day. You knew that if you left without seeing Shayne, your choice would be made; if you didn’t go see him tonight, you’d probably never see him again.

You made a frustrated sound in the back of your throat. You reached for your phone, found the text from him, and put the address into your GPS. It was only twenty minutes from your hotel.

After thirty or so minutes, the water in the bathroom shut off. You laid on your back and stared up at the ceiling, debating.

The lovesick teenager in you really wanted to go to him, at least so you could see him one last time before you really said goodbye. Maybe if you gave him another chance…

No. That was stupid. You had to remind yourself what happened last time; all the tears, the heartache, the pain. The only reason you got through it was Carly, and then eventually the band.

You wrote music to help yourself cope, and then you met Alexis and Piper, and everything took off from there. If you let yourself give in to the insane idea that he could magically be better this time, you were signing your own death warrant. You knew how things ended with Shayne.

You rolled onto your side so that you were facing away from Carly’s bed and looking at the window. You closed your eyes and tried to sleep, but you couldn’t. Distantly, you could hear Carly moving around the room behind you as she got ready to go to bed. You heard her covers rustling as she laid down.

You couldn’t force your brain to be quiet, and after a while, you ended up just staring straight at the radiator on the far wall of the room. Slivers of moonlight were shining through the cracks in the blinds.

Something thumped against the back of your head. You let out a yelp, surprised, and bolted upright. When you turned around, Carly was still laying down and facing away from you, but one of her pillows was on the ground between the two beds. You figured she had thrown it at you. “What was that for?” you demanded.

“You’re being too loud,” she replied. “I can’t sleep.”

“I’m not saying anything!”

She rolled over and looked at you, accusatory. “I can hear you thinking.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll try to quiet my thoughts down,” you said, sarcastic. You scrubbed your hands over your face, frustration causing your shoulders to draw tight and tense.

“Please do,” she replied, fake-annoyed. Her voice softened, though, as she continued: “what happened today, buttercup?”

“What do you mean?” you asked. You knew what she was talking about, but you didn’t want to face it.

She rolled her eyes. “I mean you and Shayne disappeared after the Smosh video, and you said all of about three words to anybody for the rest of the day. The girls and I were all talking about it over dinner. If he did something, we can and will make his death look like an accident.”

Again, a laugh bubbled out of you despite yourself. Carly always knew how to cheer you up. But the laugh faded quickly, and the smile not long after it. You sighed. “He didn’t do anything,” you said. “I mean, he just… he said that him and Courtney aren’t dating, and then he said that a part of him is still in love with me, and he said he doesn’t want to ‘leave things like this,’ whatever that means, so he texted me his new address and said I could come over if I wanted to. He said that he wants to talk more, but that if I don’t show up tonight then he’ll never bother me again. The most batshit crazy thing he said was that he thought I was over him. And it’s just stupid because he says he doesn’t want to leave things like this but he’s the one who ended it in the first place!”

By the end of your rant, your voice had raised in pitch and volume. You ran a hand through your hair, distressed. A tear dripped down the bridge of your nose and you wiped at it frustratedly, but with that tear, the floodgates opened. Your throat tightened and you couldn’t hold back a sob. You felt your heart, which had been so precariously stitched back together, shattering all over again.

“Oh, honey,” Carly murmured. She slid out of her bed and moved over to yours so that she could wrap you in a hug. You clutched at her shirt and let yourself be babied for a few minutes, crying weakly against her.

A part of you was disgusted with yourself. You had worked so hard to get over him, and now here you were, broken again after just one weekend. You thought that you’d given all the tears you had to give for him.

Once you had managed to calm down, Carly moved so that she was sitting next to you rather than on her knees in front of you. She kept one arm wrapped around your shoulders. “So now you don’t know if you should go or not?”

You nodded. “I know that if I don’t, if I go to the airport tomorrow and fly home… he’ll keep his promise. That was the one thing he was always good at. And I know that it’s for the best if I just let it die, but something in me doesn’t want this to be the last time we ever talk to each other. Seeing him again, I… I was so sure that I was over him. But there’s a reason I haven’t found anybody else, and the reason is that every date I go on, every guy I’m with… I compare them to him. And no one ever seems quite as good. And now he’s twenty minutes away and I can’t sleep because I just know I need to --”

You stopped short. You had finally found your answer.

“Go, Y/N,” Carly whispered.

It didn’t take more than that. You threw off your covers, grabbed your phone and wallet, pulled on the first pair of shoes you saw, and rushed down to the lobby to catch the first taxi you could find.

***

Shayne was beginning to give up hope, which was a statement, considering he hadn’t had much of that to begin with.

He ordered takeout from your favorite Chinese place. At least it had been your favorite before everything fell apart. He hoped your order was still the same. Once he had the food, he put it in the oven to keep it warm and began straightening up his apartment. He took out the trash, washed the dishes, folded and refolded the throw blanket on the couch, and halfheartedly played Animal Crossing in an effort to take his mind off of the passing minutes.

Eight o’clock came and went, and nine o’clock not long after it.

At 9:30, Shayne went to move the food from the oven to the fridge. He considered eating his but decided against it. If you showed up, he didn’t want you to have to eat alone. Besides, his nerves had completely sapped him of any appetite.

At ten o’clock, he gave up on Animal Crossing and just put on an old comedy special instead. He scrolled through Twitter but found that he wasn’t absorbing any of the words on the screen, so he put his phone down and just stared at his television without really hearing any of the jokes.

A couple of times, a car door closed outside of his apartment and he perked up, hoping against hope. But the knock on his door never came, so he sank back down into the couch and turned back to the TV, kicking himself for being so stupid. Of course you weren’t going to come.

Finally, at 11:30, he sighed and went to get ready for bed. He was halfway to the bathroom when there was a knock on the door. He froze.

“Hey, Shayne, um…” he felt like he could cry tears of joy at the sound of the voice from outside, slightly distorted through the wood of the door but definitely yours. Shayne felt like his bones were melting. “It’s Y/N, I, uh… could you let me in, please?”

He nearly broke his leg running over to the door. He cleared his throat, straightened his shirt, and opened the door. You were standing there in sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt, your eyes red-rimmed and puffy. “Hey,” you said.

“Hi,” he said. “Um, come in, please.”

He stepped back to let you in, which you did. There was a moment of agonizing silence where you stood on his welcome mat, looking around.

“It’s nice,” you said.

“Thanks,” he said, closing the door behind you. “Um, sit down, please. Make yourself comfortable. I ordered Chinese for you if -- if you’re hungry. Or if you want water or something, I can get you some of that, too.”

“Actually, I am really hungry. I didn’t eat dinner,” you said. He felt his chest twist with worry, but he didn’t comment on it. He didn’t have the right to be worried about you. You were an adult, and you could take care of yourself.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll go heat it up.”

You mumbled an “okay” and sat down on the couch while he went into the kitchen to heat up your food. He moved through his apartment in sort of a daze, only half-aware of what he was doing.

You looked like an angel sitting on the couch when he got home. Your nose was buried in the book you’d started last week, and it must’ve been good because you seemed to be well over halfway through it. You looked up when you heard the door close and flashed him that smile that made him feel like he was going to implode with the force of his love for you. Suddenly, his palms were sweating and his heart was thundering and he couldn’t breathe.

He felt like he was in a coal mine and the canary had just dropped dead.

“Hey, babe,” you said. “How was your day?”

He barely heard the question. He walked over to the counter and braced himself against it, took a deep, shuddering breath. The ring in his back pocket suddenly weighed a metric ton. Too much; too much feeling, too much pressure. He was pretty sure this was what dying felt like.

Jesus, what was wrong with him? He had a woman behind him that was perfect in every aspect, and that fact was suddenly cloying, overwhelming. It was cold in the apartment but he shrugged his jacket off anyway. He felt shaky, unsteady.

He couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t know why, but he felt panic welling up inside him and he knew he needed out. And then, before he could think it through, he dumped kerosene over his own life and set it ablaze with just four, stupid words.

“We need to talk.”

The microwave beeped. Shayne startled back into the present. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his head of thoughts of that night. That didn’t matter right now. What mattered was that you were sitting in the living room waiting for him, and if you were waiting for him that meant you were willing to talk. That meant he had a chance.

He returned to the living room with the food and held yours out to you, and he couldn’t help but notice the way your eyes lit up when you saw where it was from.

“No way! I haven’t had this in so long!” you said, looking between Shayne and the takeout container like he’d performed some kind of miracle.

For a split second, it was as if the last few years hadn’t happened. You tucked into your food and he did the same with his, and there were a couple of minutes where neither of you said anything. Every so often he’d sneak a glance at you, trying to commit to memory exactly what you looked like at that moment. It was edging ever-closer to midnight, and the moonlight filtering in through his blinds had haloed you in silver light. You looked ethereal and lovely and he could feel himself falling back in love with you with each passing second.

Finally, when you were done eating, you set the takeout container down on the coffee table and turned to him. He did the same. “That was really good,” you said. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he said. “I, um… I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“In all honesty, neither did I.”

He wanted so desperately to reach for you. His fingers twitched as he fought the instinct to take your hand. He picked at a stray thread on his sweatpants in an effort to occupy his hands. “What made you change your mind?” he asked.

You sighed. “I knew that if I didn’t come tonight I would never see you again, and that was… I don’t want that.”

He hummed low in his throat, desperately trying to quell the hope welling up within him. “I don’t want that either,” he said. He couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye. He just kept staring at the stray thread on his pants, feeling a little bit like his fingers weren’t his own. “I, um… I said this to Damien earlier, but I guess it’s probably more important that I say it to you. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, Y/N, and if I could go back and change that night I would in an instant.”

There was a long, agonizing moment where you didn’t say anything. He risked a glance up at your face; the silence was unbearable and he needed to get an idea of what you were thinking. Your expression was stony and unreadable. “Please say something,” he whispered. His voice was strained around the tears he was holding back.

“I loved you,” you said. Your face was still utterly unreadable. “I loved you harder and more honestly than I’ve ever loved anybody. And you… you decided that you didn’t want that. That you didn't want me. And Shayne, I wish we lived in a fairytale where everything could just be okay again, where I could just love you again without the past getting in the way, because if we did --” you stopped and took a deep breath. “After you, music became my everything. I worked myself to the fucking bone to get myself where I am, to get myself back to good. And now… now it doesn’t even matter because what the hell is the point of being good if I’m not good with you?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say. “I was so utterly idiotic. I was scared and in too deep and I didn’t know what I wanted. I sure as hell didn’t know what I had. But then you were gone and for a while, it was like what the fuck is the point? What am I doing if I don’t get to come home every night and see you? And I thought about calling so many times but I just… I just couldn’t. I was always too fucking scared, and by the time I worked up the courage, I thought it was too late. I thought you would’ve found somebody else.”

At that, you laughed. “I tried,” you said. “I went on so many dates, my friends set me up with so many guys. But none of them were you, and all I’ve ever wanted is you, so how the hell were they supposed to compare? So finally I just stopped going on dates. I told Carly… I told myself, really, that it was because I was so busy with work. That I’d find someone new eventually. And before I knew it, it had been years and I was still alone because there’s nobody like you.”

Now, Shayne did reach for you. He held his hand out, palm up, a clear invitation. You took it without hesitation, and that simple touch was enough to send him spiraling out of his body. “I still love you,” he said. You squeezed his hand.

“I know,” you replied. “I… I don’t think I can say that right now. I think I feel the same way, but the word, saying it out loud… it’s too much. But I have to leave tomorrow and I’d really like to have tonight to hold on to.”

He knew it was a terrible idea. He knew he shouldn’t do it. He’d already let his hopes spiral entirely out of control. He felt like he had finally reached the light at the end of a five-year-long tunnel, and he’d spent so long in the dark that he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the light. You were still nervous, flighty, like a stray animal; one wrong move and you’d be running for the hills.

But there you were, silhouetted by moonlight and looking at him like you needed him to breathe and Jesus, he was only a man. He wasn’t equipped to deal with the fire spreading slowly from his fingertips to his heart and out into his bloodstream.

“Okay,” he said, and for a moment, nothing happened. The room was still, frozen in time.

And then you both surged forward, desperate, like you needed each other to survive. He maneuvered you up and toward the bedroom, and the door shutting behind you sounded a little like the last nail in the most beautiful coffin ever built.

***

The sound of Shayne’s alarm had never been so wonderful.

He sighed as he rolled over, reaching blindly for you. But where you should’ve been he found only sheets, and they had long gone cold in your absence. Shayne sat bolt upright and looked around the room. Your clothes were gone. You were gone.

He almost crashed onto the floor trying to get himself untangled from his sheets. He pulled on the nearest article of clothing he could find and burst from his bedroom into the living room, heart pounding. You were nowhere to be seen. “No,” he mumbled, over and over until the word lost meaning, eyes scanning his apartment desperately for some sign of you. For a few terrifying seconds, he wondered if the night before had been some kind of vivid fever dream. But that wasn’t possible; the feeling of your skin under his fingertips was far too real, far too tangible. It had to be real.

And yet, the only proof that you’d been there at all was an empty takeout container and a note saying that you would call soon.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 26: What the Hell is Glued to Valon’s Ass?

Well guys.

I should preface--since it’s effecting the voice I have in these recaps quit a bit--I’m still in quarantine and losing my entire mind. So, I took a break from making a whole lot of content because I actually can’t judge if anything I make is good or funny right now. I think it’s a weird consequence of making just so many decisions navigating things I won’t go into. tl;dr, It’s been ridiculous.

And so I’ve only really been on twitter, and it just so happens, that there’s been a bunch of really insane and juicy art fights going on that have kind of ramped up in insanity the farther LA goes into the red, (since most of art twitter lives in LA since art twitter is elitist as hell, which was it’s own very spicy art fight), but one of the most recent ones was...I kid you not...about if it was possible to make cannibalism ethical...and I threw my Wacom tablet out of the freakin window was like...y’all. I’m done.

I’m done!

I DON’T KNOW HOW ART TWITTER WORKS. At all. I don’t know what the people want!

And I was like, I need to look at something that came out before this epidemic. I just need this and so we’re back to Yugioh. I have no idea if this post is any good, because again I can’t judge my own abilities anymore, and I probably sound very very salty, and whatever, but at least I’m not talking about freakin cannibalism in the middle of art twitter. At least I got out of that mess, amiright?

I can’t get worse than cannibalism. I can’t get worse than certain people at the top rungs of art twitter that are absolutely going to eat somebody at some point in their life and I don’t really want to be a part of that club nooooo thank you.

Like Yugioh is pretty effed up, and I will eat these words (just the words) but I’m pretty sure we’re not going to venture into cannibalism.

So anyways, I had to read my own recaps to catch up with what is even happening, and so for those that forgot, like me--Everyone is sort of standing in the middle of the road in San Fransisco and there’s a bunch of orcs everywhere.

Seto is still in denial. Maybe he just assumed Roland threw out a bunch of hologram projectors all over San Fransisco and so there’s just...monsters everywhere? I mean how prevalent is his hologram trash?

We barely even have parking, why would we have hologram projectors everywhere, Seto? San Fransisco barely has HOUSING. Even when Google Glass was a thing, we only whipped those bastards out at parties for the gram. They weren’t actually USED.

Somewhere in like...the grossest park in SF, (like there’s a light pole that’s tipped over? There’s weeds everywhere? No playground equipment? What is this?) Valon and Joey are...throwing cards at eachother. Not much to say about this interaction other than Valon is going to be in a robot suit the entire time, and no you did not miss anything, I just don’t go over the cards here, and...that’s his card schtick--he gets in a robot suit and punches you in the balls. That’s it.

(read more under the cut)

Speaking of getting punched directly in the balls, Mai is still on the hunt to murder Joey Wheeler, because that’s how she’s decided to work through her trauma. Just kill a completely unrelated person to the one who actually gave her the trauma in the first place. Sounds like American politics in 2020.

I will say, it is nice that we have a consequence to the Marik season and a little more depth into Mai, I just wish we had more of an explanation of how she jumped this far other than “I dunno, man, Orichalcos.”

Anyway, she sees the Bat signal and was like “Valon, you had one job”

Bro brings up that Mai seems hella jacked now and like...yeah...It has to be a real workout to do a bunch of wheelies all day on a heavy motorcycle. Go for it, girl.

Valon’s robot suit has robot vision, by the way, and it’s extremely 00′s UI.

mmmm just like Samus Aran.

Can’t have a Yugioh show without beating up your protagonists for a good while. At this point in the series, just comparing trauma of one character to another, you’d think Joey would be the one with trauma that makes him murderous as hell. Instead, he’s remarkably one of the most stable people here. Especially compared to Valon, who is this strange hypocritical broken record of “you gotta let Mai make up her own mind” while doing his very best to manipulate Mai.

If they had both left eachother alone, then Mai would have been way more likely to come back to her senses, just throwing that out there. Valon was a guy who latched on too much, and Joey was the guy who didn’t latch on at all--she needed a good in-between guy. A good in-between guy over the age of 21. It’s a shame that this type of guy does not exist on this show for her to hang out with. 

So Valon flashes back to the moments directly after he introduced Mai to his dad (Dartz) and Mai got possessed with Oricalchos powers.

After Mai refuses to join the team, she joins the team and directly kills Pegasus. To which, she was like “Oh yeah, I don’t actually have any personal agenda against this bastard. He’s just some guy who kills other people, this is just normal vigilante work.”

And so Joey decides he should share flashbacks, since that’s what we’re doing now, and we get a slight retelling of this scene in S1.

In this retelling it’s different because the hanky was actually holding the money card. This was not how it originally went, the card was given separately--but they had to do SOMETHING to make that hanky make some sort of sense, so it...has a card now.

That’s kind of the Yugioh solution to every problem, actually--just put a card on it.

(EDITORS NOTE: OK so apparently, actually-turns out the hanky DID contain a card originally in S1 but I just hella forgot--and normally I’d change this to reflect that but like my mind is full of quarantine spaghetti, so I’ll just leave it as is for posterity because I don’t feel like rewriting anything.)

What IS it though?

Don’t think about it too much, but what IS that?

On the other end of town, Seto remembered that if he spends too much time with these people, they might accidentally mistake it for friendship.

So...Seto Kaiba joined them so he could take back Kaiba Corp with the team, and then just...forgot I, guess. Maybe he got the munchies. A shame to be Kaiba, San Fransisco has NOTHING open past 11 PM except for bars. It’s not really like New York, SF sleeps really freakin good.

So now that Kaiba’s gone, Rebecca has to guess his password.

She’s supposed to be some top tier hacker but she doesn’t have a program to test these permutations for her? Whatever, girl.

And then, out of no, where Tristan had a panic attack.

Mom friends have to do that some times, they have to carry the guilt of their stupid children. But TBH, I kind of forgot that Tristan exists so it caught me off-guard.

Hey I kid you not, I went back to art twitter for a hot second, and there’s this person I follow who is very popular because they’ve drawn this one ship for I want to say 20 years--and they generally make very pretty art. And they recently drew their shipping pair on a set of matching toilets--facing eachother without any bathroom stalls--and they’re just...poopin while looking at eachother. I just...

What Is Going On With Art Twitter!?!?

I need to retire!!!

I don’t understand anything at all going on outside my bedroom, y’all.

I mean I guess I fell for it, I did click the image to see it in full--just in case it WASN’T a picture of them pooping but...no....that’s just what it is.

I need to delete my twitter account.

Anyway, stay safe out there, it’s a mess.

here’s the link to read these in chrono order if you’re bored and you just don’t want to go outside today, I get, I’ve been there, been doing that.

[withthekeyisking-writer]

What’s a Batman story you wish someone else would write for you instead of writing yourself??

Gotta tell you, I got super excited when I got this ask, because there are so many things!! That I would love to see happen!! That I’ll never get around to writing!! So uh, strap in because this is gonna be a big ol’ list :) I’m gonna organize these so that it starts with gen ideas and then switches to darker ones (otherwise, really in no particular order). Also, because it’s me, many of these are Dick-centric.

1. First up is a Batfam Hogwarts AU, but with the specifications that Dick is a Slytherin, Jason is a Ravenclaw, Tim is a Slytherin, and Damian is a Hufflepuff. Skalidra actually made an amazing post about this that I agree with so fucking much, and I want a fic that does this justice.

2. Batbros are actually blood bros. I know there are a couple of these already out there, but not the way I picture it in my head, so here you go: Bruce knows about Dick while the kid is growing up, visits the circus any time it’s in town, takes Dick out for ice cream & shit like that, but Dick thinks this is just some family friend his parents like him hanging out with. It’s not until Mary and John fall that Dick learns the truth about his parents. For Tim – Janet never really wanted a kid, so when she and Bruce sleep together (up to you to figure out why) and got pregnant, she was like “okay brucie as soon as this pops out you can keep it” which, once Tim was born, Bruce did. Jason can go so many ways, so up to you!

3. Transgender Dick!! Yes, these are already out there. Yes, I want so many more! Give me the struggle of coming to the realization while amongst Gotham’s high society. Give me extra supportive Bruce or a Bruce that just can’t wrap his head around the concept and absolutely fails to be in any way a good parent of a trans kid. Or take the extra step and give me a non-binary Dick!!! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one of those, and as an enby individual, I really would love to.

4. Jason as a teacher. Do whatever the fuck you want with that, but I want to see Jason teaching literature. Still in the superhero world, no alternate world where Batman isn’t a thing. I want a Jason who’s been Robin and died and come back and been Red Hood and is a teacher.

5. I had a dream about Dick being a clone, and then an idea popped up behind it: In the Young Justice cartoon world, the Light makes another clone of Superman. But this time, the human DNA they used to stabilize the Kryptonian part isn’t Lex Luthor’s DNA, but Batman’s! That Superman-Batman clone is Dick. While Conner gets rescued by the YJ team, Dick (or whatever title CADMUS gave him, like how Conner was just called “The Superboy”) isn’t found, and is trained to fight against the team of young heroes as the Light’s weapon. Dick gets captured eventually and Bruce&Clark find out about their clone baby. Throw in some Superbat if you feel like it, or just Two Bros And A Baby. Either way, I would kill for this.

6. Ok you know how at one point or another Damian, Jason, and Cass were all members of the League of Assassins? Well, what if there was overlap? I want the three of them working for the League and knowing each other. I don’t know if this even works out at all but I just think this would be kinda cool, especially if it includes Bruce finding out about Damian or about Jason being alive and gaining a daughter along the way.

7. While we’re on the subject of League of Assassins, all four of the boys work for the League!! Do with this what you will, I merely present the concept to you.

8. Secret Agents. Just…just give me them as spies. Pls.

9. Dead Robins Club that ACTUALLY INCLUDES DICK BECAUSE Y’KNOW HE DIED. It’s a pet peeve of mine, when people write these kind of fics and include Tim and Steph (neither of which actually died) but not Dick, even though he did die for at least a couple minutes. Please stop ignoring Dick’s trauma guys, I beg of you. There’s one amazing fic between Jason, Damian, and Dick, and I want so many more of stuff like that.

10. Greeks/Roman Gods AU where Dick is the God of Death and king of the Underworld instead of the springtime god. There’s a really great jaydick fic out there that has this, but it’s abandoned, and I rally really want more of a Dick like this.

11. AU in which Bruce is the youngest member of the Justice League, and is still the badass leader he is in canon. No one in the League knows the truth, but it’s not like Bruce ever said I’m in my 20s or older, he just. Never mentioned he just graduated high school and is working on his accelerated bachelor’s degree.

12. A fic that addresses the fact that Dick has, in canon, been buried alive. I might one day write this, but I have a lot of projects that I do know I’m going to write, so this is wayyyyyyyyyyyy down the line, long enough that I’d be very happy to see someone write it instead. Bonus points if it’s a fic about Dick and Jason, and the fact that Dick killed Joker also comes up.

13. Tamaranean!Dick. And I actually have a whole word/plot for something like this that I’m never gonna write so if you wanna do this hmu I have THOUGHTS

Ok boys and girls and enbys we’re about to hit the dark shit so turn back if you don’t want to have to read it. You’ve been warned.

14. Ancient Rome AU in which Bruce is a senator and owns his robins as slaves (gladiator-wise and otherwise) who try to earn their freedom but Bruce likes using them too much (both for himself and in gaining control over others, like sending one of them to seduce somebody to gain leverage or steal something or what have you) and so he keeps changing what will gain them their freedom.

15. Auction fic where Dick is drugged and kidnapped and auctioned off to a bunch of villains. Yes, fics like this exist. Yes, I would like Many More.

16. Brusladick where Bruce has some Bad Thoughts about Dick but can’t bring himself to act on them, but he wouldn’t mind letting someone else do it, and who better than Slade Wilson, who absolutely wants to fuck Dick. So Bruce sets up a camera in the room and gets off to all the hard shit being done to Dick, but Slade breaks their agreement a little and tells Dick that Bruce is watching.

17. In an ABO universe, Dick is an omega. The world is pretty modern overall, of course there will always be some level of sexism but it’s not a large issue. But there’s this far-right terroristic-type group that thinks omegas are just good for ding as they’re told and being bred and have made it their mission to “fix” omegas who think they deserve equal rights, and they get ahold of Dick, sending a video to Bruce saying they’re return Dick when he’s better. For some reason Bruce and Co can’t find Dick for a long time, and by the time they do Dick’s severely traumatized and been conditioned into obedience and submission towards alphas.

18. In the Young Justice cartoon world, while Kaldur is undercover in season 2, an interaction with Deathstroke reveals something horrible about Nightwing’s past, and Kaldur has to act like hearing these graphic, awful things about his friend. After it’s all over, he goes to Dick and mentions Deathstroke saying something and Dick kind of shuts down and says like “How many people heard what he said?” There is a twitter thread between me and a friend on this very subject if you need inspiration ;)

19. Something based on this amazing art

20. Bruce is hella abusive. Dick lets himself be Bruce’s outlet so he won’t hurt the others. This, of course, comes to light. Yes, shit like this exists. But I pose you a question – is there ever too many? And has it been done by you yet?

21. Brainwashing. Just, give me brainwashing. Turned against your family, used and mocked by your enemy, kneeling “willingly” at your enemy’s feet. Bonus points for all kinds of abuse.

Well, that’s my list!! Go off and do great things for me! Thanks for the ask!!

[tomorrowusa]

It doesn’t take much to make Trump look like an idiot. But Savannah Guthrie did it in person and in front of a live audience of tens of millions of viewers.

Not only that, but Ms. Guthrie cross-examined Trump in a style that often resembled that of a prosecutor.

Trump: I know nothing about QAnon.

Guthrie: I just told you.

Trump: Well you told me, but what you tell me doesn’t necessarily make it fact. I hate to say that. I know nothing about it. I do know they are very much against pedophilia, they fight it very hard. But I know nothing about it.

Guthrie: They believe it is a satanic cult run by the deep state.

Trump: I’ll tell you what I do know about. I know about antifa and I know about the radical left and how violent and vicious they are and I know how they are burning down cities run by Democrats, not run by Republicans.

Guthrie: Republican Sen. Ben Sasse said, quote, QAnon is nuts and real leaders call conspiracy theories conspiracy theories.

Trump: He may be right.

Guthrie: Why not just say it’s crazy and not true?

Trump: I just don’t know about QAnon.

Guthrie: You do know.

Trump: I don’t know. I don’t know. No, I don’t know.… Let me just tell you what I do hear about it is they are very strongly against pedophilia, and I agree with that, I do agree with that.

Guthrie: OK, but there’s not a satanic pedophile cult being run by—

Trump: I have no idea. I know nothing about that.

Guthrie: You don’t know that? OK.

Trump: No I don’t know that. And neither do you know that.

Guthrie: OK, just this week you retweeted

Trump: Why aren’t you asking me about antifa? Why aren’t you asking me about the radical left? Why aren’t you asking Joe Biden questions about—why doesn’t he condemn antifa? Why does he say it doesn’t exist?

Guthrie: Because you’re here before me.

Trump: So cute.

Guthrie then asked Trump about another conspiracy theory the president spread.

Guthrie: Just this week you retweeted to your 87 million followers a conspiracy theory that Joe Biden orchestrated to have S.E.A.L. Team 6 killed to cover up the fake death of Bin Laden. Now, why would you send a lie like that to your followers?

Trump: That was a retweet. That was an opinion of somebody. And that was a retweet. I’ll put it out there.

Guthrie: I don’t get that. You’re the president. You’re not someone’s crazy uncle who can retweet whatever.

Trump: No, no, that was a retweet, I do a lot of retweets. And frankly, because the media is so fake and so corrupt, if I didn’t have social media—I don’t call it Twitter, I call it social media—I wouldn’t be able to get the word out. And the word—

Guthrie: The word is false.

Savannah Guthrie gave us a preview of what life would be like for Donald Trump once he’s out of the White House. Trump will no longer be able to hide in his White House bunker from tough questions and the law.

[incarnateirony]

why do people seem to think i’m a big name blogger

i only have like 1800 followers (or I guess closer to 1900 now?), that’s pocket change compared to some of the people around here

i know there’s people with less, and that doesn’t make you invalid or anything. Because it’s not about size. It’s either about quality or about enjoyment, and really, your latter should come first in fandom. If you have a hobby blog designed to spread enjoyment, then yes, quality. If you positively impact just 5 people’s lives on the regular, you’ve done a good thing.

This falls in line with my “anyone can meta” and moods about who feels comfortable metaing or having those opinions, but it’s become a general sentiment.

And most of all don’t feel like you need to lockstep with me. now, not lockstepping with me doesn’t mean "shit directly on someone’s positive content post like a whole entitled jackass”, but like. I don’t care if you were some little blog with 10 followers that I gave a boost and now you’re kinda popular. you don’t owe me shit.

Because that’s another weird thing and I think people need to practice self-care on this more. Four different people, on four different occasions, that were incensed I wouldn’t fall into borg mind or surrender my opinions, have tried to claim they “made” me. Ironically, none of them did. Like even ignoring my following point, even in the way they meant it -- which is the irony.

When Kelloggs club pounced on my first ever fandom tweet years ago for the sin of having a Cas plushie icon, and I floored them with numbers they had never seen and got blocked by the whole damn hoard in my first hour in fandom like a temporary urban legend, I made me. Sure, they drew attention and made a shitshow. Sure, it led to me being drawn into group chats that expanded my networking and stuff. But I made me. When a big name fan was upset at how much traction I’d gained in a month, because this fandom is obsessed with clout for some goddamn reason, and I stood my ground? They drew attention. But the way I held my ground? I made me. 

When TAW went bananas on me for catching him hand in the cookie jar with Misha and my unwillingness to be backed off that turned heads? I made me. Everybody helped with of course blacklisttaw, but I didn’t make blacklisttaw, everyone made blacklisttaw, I just started it. And it worked. Because of everybody. He hasn’t had a non-indie job aside from things being re-re-re-re-reannounced from 2008 plans or things stuck in production purgatory since 2014 releasing late since. That ain’t all my credit. I didn’t MAKE that. I started it, maybe. But you guys made that. I just stood there with a megaphone for those who weren’t positioned to speak, and gave some cornerstones. Everybody else’s work did the rest.

(And ironically, NONE of the people that wanted me to feel like they MADE me were involved in that. I think they all actually came after all of these things.)

The people along the way help. But just because someone helps you doesn’t mean you’re indentured to them, their demands, or even their abuse for life, or touting every single thing they say as truth.

Whatever content you made that got shared? You made that. You made you. Your thoughts, opinions, contributions, choices made you. Someone giving you a digital nickel along the way, or even a digital hundred dolla bill, doesn’t obligate you to them. If they genuinely appreciated your thoughts and content instead of finding it temporarily useful or convenient... then they gained the benefit of your contribution in exchange. If someone had another intent, that’s on them.

(honestly same goes for RL on this point; sure try to repay people but repayment doesn’t mean you’re shackled to them for all eternity and if someone said they wanted to HELP you and then turned around like “ok and the interest accrued is--” or flags it around as some weight? Fuckin’ run. RUN AWAY. “Help” doesn’t come with a leash or a motive. It comes because they want to help. And anyone that spins that around on you -- life lesson -- holy shit. Run. You help people because you care, whether that’s about them as an individual or general human empathy -- not for what you get out of it. And again seriously guys REAL LIFE PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU TAKE NOTHING ELSE FROM ANYTHING I EVER SAID. If someone had told me this when I was younger I would have dodged YEARS of receiving violence. It’s like the shittier, less competent version of mob logic, only at least the mob is honest that they’re gonna break your kneecaps if you fuck up before you get started. Y’know what? I value honesty. If you’re gonna demand something, be honest and threaten my kneecaps up front.)

Nobody made you but you. I helped along the way, or some other people helped. But I’m never going to be like HOW DARE YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION I MADE YOU!!!!!!! because like-- is anybody watching the show right now? Anybody at all? Chuck’s stomping around and throwing hissyfits because hE mAdE thEm AnD hE’Ll ShoW tHEm and like in the end, Chuck didn’t make them. Maybe he influenced things around them. But they’re making themselves.

And I feel like this fandom would do so much better if they abandoned this tribalistic herd mind nonsense for fear of obligation to *whatever* because guys, people who hold you to that? They’re abusers. Like. Literally. No lie. Shit man. Those people online can’t even “make” anyone, because they only make themselves, and then people react to what they’ve made of themselves. Everyone decides they’re too much? Too bitter? Too whatever? Everybody stops spreading their content? Guess what they’ve got. A big ball of Too Much Bitter on their dash and nothing else. But you know what? They made them. They made that. They make that big ball of whatever. 

Like congrats guys you temporarily liked my opinions when you liked them and strolled along when I was at like 700 followers already and now that you don’t you’re gonna-- what? Get mad at other opinions? Come on now. People aren’t just tools to be waved around. We’re complex. You’re complex. Hopefully you all treat other people as complex. Never put yourself in a digital collar to jump through digital flaming hoops for fear of some kind of digital retaliation.

Hell, if there’s one moral from How-I-Made-Me in that list above, that’s it, really. Lmao, fuck the borg guys, come on. You do you. My path was essentially “Fuck the bronlies, fuck the extreme con crowd, fuck sexual predators, and fuck extremes of any fandom lane, even if that’s a lane within my own ship.” -- your path doesn’t have to be my path. You make your path. You just share it with people on the way. If they diverge, they don’t get to throw you down whatever hill they’ve declared is the one to go down. And definitely make sure in the land of “all opinions/interpretations are equal” that is said online like a parrot stuck in a loop, you’re not letting them use that to completely ironically steamroll over your own while leaving theirs unchecked of any real compunction.

So no, don’t come shit on my posts directly, don’t come whatever. But don’t ever just lockstep with me, or anyone else, because you feel some weird form of obligation over something as irrelevant as digital clout in the world of a TV fandom that IS ENDING ANYWAY so WHAT THE FUCK. The people you have around you? The views you soak? The follows you have? Good and bad. Those are what are going to paint the rest of your experience for this show you (theoretically) love from here into eternity. 

Am I too loud? That’s fine. You do you. Is someone else too perpetually bitter? Don’t tie yourself to them. Pay close attention to what is sculpting your fandom experience in this final hour and into its life beyond. Because that’s gonna be the difference between you keeping love for this show in your heart once it’s off the air or petering off into distressed disfavor for it. 

At one point when the show was ending, I thought “I’ma follow every account like in the history of ever” and man was that a bad idea. A few sweeps later and I’ve cleared out bitter bullshit clogging my dash, random cacophony, and have nothing but good shit to reblog again and damn if that isn’t even gonna make the experience of everyone in my proximity better too. Much less my own. And yeah, that matters. It’s called fandom. It’s supposed to be fun. Not obligate chaos.

Either people take you as you are, or they don’t. Fuck the ones that just want parts of you for a time and want to discard the rest. Those people aren’t worth your time. Hell, that even wants to go for people who have dedicated bitter blogs. You wanna be bitter and nasty okay that’s fine, if somebody is just there for some other shit and then gets mad that you’re bitter after goddamn choosing to follow you knowing full god damn and well you’re bitter, they can fuck off too. Stay mad if you want. You do you. I might say it’s probably not the best for mental health and general wellness but in the end that’s still up to you. And put an asterisk that doing shit on tumblr is different than twitter where if you make a bunch of rowdy bitter people in your area and you or they start shit-tagging creatives and doing the above kinda bullshit, no, that doesn’t work the same. Or like the multishipper I saw getting attacked despite making a whole other blogspace to keep their wincest away from impacting other people’s eyes like -- if they’re hunting down that side account just to cause bullshit, fuck them too. Seriously, fuck the borg.

[shin-and-soukoku-blog]

BSD Details at the Talk Show

Details are now out!! (credits to someone on twitter) (pls dont claim that the details came from you when you share it to others)

I will only be mentioning the ones that i really love and very grateful for the show 😌✨

Be remindful that the non-bullet is my opinion and reaction so they are just my own POVs and some dont agree. We are here to freely express out our thoughts. No hate.

These translations DOESN’T BELONG TO ME. Credit to someone on twitter who shares her love and passion to the fandom.

Many were complaining (non skk fans) that Fifteen should have been OVA and not be part of S3. Now, the staffs confessed that the main point of animating Fifteen is that it helps build the world of Bungo Stray Dogs. By connecting the past and the present, it develops a deeper understanding of the characters, and also shows how the beloved city that Atsushi and everyone are now protecting came to be.

If its still confusing, this is how I understand: In other words, Dazai and Chuuya were the ones who started the story of Bungo Stray Dogs (not literally but their paths what led them to makin the present such as Dazai recruiting Akutagawa and taking in Atsushi, Chuuya as the half Soukoku, that led Dazai to think that Aku needs a partner as well) and let us not forget that Dazai is protecting the city and Chuuya at the same time during their mafia days by nullifying Corruption.

Animating Fifteen was planned to be a surprise to the fans, though a few days before the airing they learned that the information got leaked over twitter. This also happened back then with Dark Era, and Producer Kurakane shares that she was called by her boss regarding the incident. It went like, “This is the second time it failed, don’t you think there is no point in making it a surprise?”

I feel saddened by this because they were really going to surprise us but it failed, not once but twice already. Not revealing it to us before the show and by making it a surprise for us means Bones and Asagiri sensei really love and wanted to thank us so much 😭💕

She said this just gave her the motivation to try harder to prevent the secret from getting spoiled next time.

This is why I love Bones so much ❤️❤️

They thought it'd be hard but when they heard Mamo and Kishou doing the recording, it really gave them the feeling of how young Dazai and Chuuya were, and that these two really had a history. Furthermore, Randou only appeared in this arc but Uchida's acting was really memorable

They think 15 Dazai is different to today's Dazai, with 15 Dazai being really dark and wanting to die for real.

This is why Mamo and Kishou are the perfect voice actors for Dazai and Chuuya 😭💕✨ they really brought their characters to real life. Like I mean, Dazai really sounded different when i watched Ep1-Ep3 yet idk why some says Dazai didnt change. Its better to look into detail. Also, Chuuya really have the most change that you wouldnt even recognize him as a port mafia yet but a kid who handles an org and just wanted to know who or what he is.

From 15 to his present height, Chuuya only grows 5cm. He kept on saying, "I'll still grow!" but we, staff and fans, couldn't resist saying, "No, you won't" deep inside

... 5cm...? I cant believe Dazai’s curse worked 😂 and the staffs are even pointing out to Chuuya that he will never grow 💔✨

The staff was particularly glad seeing the last scene getting animated, as it came from the original manga. The art, especially with the stained glass, was also remarkable.

Okay i gotta confess, when they said “last scene” the first thing that came to my mind was Dazai and Chuuya holding hands 😂🔫 like ‘oh wait lol thats not it! Its that purple glass and crossing paths’ okaay..... im way too much lol

They also talked about the 3rd season’s OP and ED. Unlike the 1st and 2nd seasons’, the OP and ED for 3rd season were specifically made to serve as a message of thanks to the fans.

Ok so this is what we have been waiting for. And tbh im glad that i didnt hate the OP & ED. I didnt really hate it, instead I just wanted to know WHY they did it like a curious tiger. But—

Instead of appealing to new fans of BSD, these OP and ED were made to express gratitude to the fans who have been here together with BSD’s journey. The scenes were meaningfully chosen rand show what the characters have been through.

The truth behind why the new OP & ED scenes were reused. I am now satisfied to hear this truth and have no complains. Tbh, the scenes were really reused in a good way and there were on timing so it made more impact the OP & ED. So Bones really had everything planned out, I mean they are not the type of people to just throw away everything. Just like Asagiri-sensei, they put meanins and symbolism into their animation and not because they were on low budget (ok about the low budget thing somebody mentioned and I HAVE NO IDEA why they said it bcuz how can they be in low budget when BSD got S3, stage play and Dead Apple?!). Bones really is an amazing staff 😭✨ i keep loving them more and more!! PLEASE LET HS SUPPORT THEM 💕✨

Producer Kurakane was particularly emotional with the ED and says that she tends to tear up watching it. She also pointed out that Atsushi and Akutagawa were singing in the ED.

Ahhh the crying/sad scenes in ED 🙃💔 this scene really surprised especially it played in the chorus part. I love when Atsushi and Aku sang the ED in the end 😭 basically the trans they said is “What do I have? What can I do?” I can feel the feels of Shin-Soukoku partners here 😌❤️ (trans credit to bungo wikia)

The staff is really grateful to the fans’ love and support, and they are really happy that BSD did not only end with one season of 12 episodes, but is now continuing with the 3rd season, movie and the stage play. Just like Dead Apple, treat season 3 as their present.

YES THIS THIS!! BONES ARE NOT THINKING ABOUT THEMSELVES BUT TO US ✨✨ THEIR PLANS ARE FOR US TO BE SURPRISED AND HAPPY FOR THE GIFT THEY GIVE US EVERY WEEK!! LET US CONTINUE TO SUPPORT THIS AMAZING STUDIO AND GIVE THEM THE LOVE AND GRATITUDE THEY DESERVE 💕✨❤️😭

[celebritylive]

Taylor Swift‘s highly anticipated Netflix documentary Miss Americana is now available for streaming — and the pop star’s fans will find the film delivers.

The 30-year-old singer unveiled the movie at the 2020 Sundance Film Festival on Jan. 23 to praise from fans and critics alike.

From tackling her recent public political stance to shying away from showing off too much of her relationship with boyfriend Joe Alwyn, Swift provides her fans with a glimpse inside of her complicated life.

RELATED: Nikki Glaser Apologizes to Taylor Swift for Body Shaming Comments Included in Miss Americana Documentary

Here’s everything we’ve learned from Miss Americana.

1. Swift struggled with an eating disorder early in her career.

The pop singer opened up about feeling “triggered” by paparazzi photos of herself in an intimate moment in the film.

“I’ve learned over the years it’s not good for me to see pictures of myself every day because I have a tendency… I tend to get triggered by something whether it’s a picture where I feel like it looked like my tummy is too big or where someone said I looked pregnant,” Swift revealed.

She added, “That’ll just trigger me to starve a little bit, just stop eating.”

Now, Swift says, she’s managed to find a place where she feels happy with her body and doesn’t put too much thought on images of her that circulate around the Internet.

“I don’t care as much if someone points out that I’ve gained weight,” she said. “There’s always some standard of beauty that you’re not meeting. It’s all just f—ing impossible.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Opens Up About an Eating Disorder She Previously Battled, Says Paparazzi Photos Were a ‘Trigger’

2. Fans will see how the pop star creates her music and lyrics.

Swift gave director Lana Wilson unprecedented access to her music sessions while at the recording studio. The singer admitted she’d never had anyone with her in the studio that she wasn’t collaborating with during a Q&A after the premiere at Sundance.

“I didn’t want to know if it would stop me from feeling like I could come up with ideas and feeling like I could throw things out,” Swift said. “And there’s so much ridiculous-sounding ad-libbing that you do when you’re writing songs. So much of it sounds ridiculous until it sounds all right.”

She continued, “And a lot of that time, I would just always refuse to have any cameras in the studio whenever I write because I just feel like, what if I can’t do it. A then you’ve wasted a day and then I’ve wasted another creator’s time, I’ve wasted my producers time, I’ve wasted a co-writers time and I can’t write if somebody’s there.”

3. How she decided to go public with her political views.

In the documentary, Swift travels to her home state of Tennessee before the local elections to encourage people to register to vote and to also raise awareness as to how then-Senatorial candidate, Republican Marsha Blackburn, was anti-gay marriage, anti-gay rights and for rolling back protections for women when it came to domestic violence and stalking.

In a powerful scene, Swift and her mother, Andrea, attend a board meeting with members of her organization, including her father, Scott, to convince them to allow her to go public with her stance against Blackburn.

With her mother’s backing, Swift tearfully tells the all-male group, “I’m saying right now that I’m doing something that I know is right and I need to be on the right side of history.”

When Blackburn won the senatorial race, however, Swift was shocked and vowed to help increase voter turnout for the 2020 elections — as well as the release of a new political anthem, “Only the Young.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Releases New Political Anthem ‘Only the Young’ — Listen Now

4. On keeping her relationship with Joe Alwyn private.

While Alwyn was hardly seen in the film — except for a hug he gives Swift after one of her concert performances — the singer says he helped her in the aftermath of the scandal involving Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West.

“I had to deconstruct an entire belief system for my own personal sanity. I was also falling in love with someone who had a really wonderfully normal, balanced, grounded life,” she said.

“We decided together that we wanted our relationship to be private,” Swift added.

There are hints of Alwyn in the documentary, though. A montage of clips shot by the actor is shown, including Swift laughing as she tells him “I love you” while singing “Call It What You Want,” enjoying private dates in nature and the singer blowing out candles on a birthday cake.

“It was happiness without anyone else’s input. It was just … we were happy,” Swift said.

5. Why winning the trial against a former radio host who groped her didn’t feel like a victory.

In 2017, Swift countersued against former radio host David Mueller for $1 after he claimed in his lawsuit against her that she had gotten him fired.

Despite having the judge dismiss Mueller’s lawsuit, Swift said it was more of an ordeal than a win.

“I was so angry. I was angry that I had to be there,” she said. “I was angry that this happens to women. I was angry that people are paid to antagonize victims.”

Swift continued, “You don’t feel a sense of any victory when you win because the process is so dehumanizing.”

Following the trial, Swift shared a touching moment with her mother backstage at one of her concerts. Hugging her daughter, Andrea sobbed in Swift’s arms after her court win and explained how proud she was that she’d defended herself.

Swift hugged her mother back and comforted her, saying, “It’s OK, now.”

6. She didn’t discover burritos until her late 20s — and has a genius way of adding extra “crunch.”

During a recording session for her Lover album, Swift revealed she’d never eaten a burrito “until like two years ago.”

Enjoying a burrito during a lunch break, she showed a recording producer how she added extra “crunch” by adding a tortilla chip inside the burrito and taking a bite.

7. Revealing she felt “trained” to be good from an early age.

In the first few minutes of Miss Americana, home videos of Swift from her childhood are shown across the screen as it chronicles her early beginnings as a singer-songwriting all the way until she found success.

Swift explained she was “trained to be happy” since her childhood, adding the lesson wasn’t always a good one.

“My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as ‘good,'” she said. “It was all I wrote about, it was all I wanted, it was a complete and total belief system that I subscribed to as a kid.”

She continued, “And obviously, I’m not a perfect person by any stretch but overall the main thing that I always tried to do was just be a good girl. I became the person who everyone wanted me to be.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Reveals She’s Felt Like People ‘Lean in with … Hunger’ When She’s Felt ‘Humiliated’

8. Feeling she couldn’t “bounce back from” the Kimye scandal.

When West released his notorious 2016 song “Famous” with the lyrics, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex Why? I made that bitch famous,” Swift responded saying she had not been aware the rapper would call her a derogatory name.

In response, Kardashian West released an edited video of her husband on the phone with Swift, acknowledging the “sex” part of the song. West insisted that Swift approved the lyric, though a rep for Swift said, “Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single ‘Famous’ on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, ‘I made that bitch famous.’ “

Swift recalled the aftermath of the scandal in the documentary, saying, “When people decided I was wicked and evil and conniving and not a good person, that was the one I couldn’t really bounce back from because my whole life was centered around it.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Reveals Her Mom Andrea Has a Brain Tumor: ‘We Don’t Know What Is Going to Happen’

9. On her mother’s cancer.

Swift was dealt with another blow when her mother, Andrea, was diagnosed with cancer.

“That has been really hard for me because she is my favorite person,” the pop star. “It woke me up from this life where I used to sweat all these things, but like, do you really care if the Internet doesn’t like you today if your mom’s sick from her chemo?”

In a sweet moment, Andrea explains after her diagnosis she did something she’s “always wanted to do”: adopt a huge dog which she calls her “cancer dog.”

Swift explained the pup was also Andrea’s “third child, like a human-sized dog.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Says Kanye West Moment ‘Burrowed Into My Psyche’ but She Doesn’t ‘Think Too Hard’ About It Now

10. How the 2009 VMAs made her feel like she didn’t belong.

Reliving the experience of West taking the microphone from her during her 2009 VMA acceptance speech, Swift said the moment was a crucial part of her life.

“It was so echo-y in there. At the time, I didn’t know they were booing him doing that,” she said. “I thought they were booing me.”

“For someone who has built their whole belief system on getting people to clap for you, the whole crowd booing is a pretty formative experience.”

She added, “That was a sort of catalyst for a lot of psychological paths that I went on and not all of them were beneficial. It was all fueled by me not feeling like I belonged there. I’m only here because I work hard and I’m nice to people.”

Miss Americana is now streaming on Netflix.

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2GEwewC

[mhcrny]

— ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS THEN TAG 20 BLOGS YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!

nicknames: mizu ; juhla

zodiac:  taurus

height: 1,66

time: 5:43 pm

favorite band / artist: i don’t have a specific favorite band / artist but i guess lately my favorite ones are the neighbourhood and hozier

song stuck in my head: somebody that i used to know - gotye

last movie i saw: 13 going 30 ( yes, for the 50th time, cuz i’m a total slut for mark ruffalo )

last thing i googled: mark ruffalo rp icons ( duh )

other blogs: my boku no hero multimuse blog, that i’m thinking on transforming it on general anime / manga multimuse blog @mzend​

why did i choose this username: shun once made an nsfw account on twitter with me and she gave me the idea of using the initial of my nickname ( mizu ) + horny, and replace the ‘o’ with a ‘c’ ‘cuz that what she usually do with her urls. and i decided to use the tt user here. basically i stole her aesthetics :))))))))))) love u shun i’m sorry but the idea was 100% yours ok

following: 75

average amount of sleep: lately i’ve been sleeping 9 hours, which is the time i need to feel rested. but sometimes i sleep less or more than that

what i’m wearing: a pink cat pajamas

dream job: cartoonist, but unfortunately i content myself with the fact that maybe i’ll be just an animator, even when I'm not the biggest fan of animating things

dream trip: going to canada and smoking tons of weed with my sister

favorite food: LASAGA

play any instruments: nope

eye color: light brown

hair color: my original hair color is dark blonde, but i but I paint it orange to be a fake redhead

languages you speak: portuguese ( mother language ) & english

most iconic song: well, i think i’ll always be in love with the song ‘my smile is extinct’ from kane strang, but also ‘take me to church’ from hozier.

random fact: talking about ships, characters, series, movies, anime can cheer me up no matter how bad my mood is

describe yourself as aesthetic things: damn... sad songs, memes, anime, gay shit, rpg, mcdonnald’s, otps and tons of angst

tagged by: @frostbxtch tagging: whoever feel like it!! :>>

[1dreality]

Zayn Malik was never the celebrity you thought he was. If it wasn’t already obvious from his detached, often melancholic interviews in the wake of his 2015 departure from One Direction, it will be from the title of his second solo album. The very elongated 27-track Icarus Falls is comprised of more of the sparse R&B that Malik has perfected since his first release Mind of Mine in 2016, but like its titular myth is also indebted to themes of incredible ascent and crushing decline.

A decline not of Malik’s career, it should be said, but rather of his own mental health, the album serving as both an intimate meditation on Malik’s life so far and a dire warning about the trauma of instant fame. It all leads to one obvious question: Is Zayn OK?

In an age of millennial openness and Instagram confessionals, Malik remains something of an outlier: an enormously famous and highly visible celebrity, but one whose ambiguity allows us to project much onto him. In our collective consciousness, he has been the 1D-fleeing villain, smoking cigarettes, being mean to his bandmates on Twitter and looking miserable as well as the “soft boy” pin-up, a vulnerable figure in desperate need of a hug.

Much of that ambiguity is intentional. Along with declining to tour Mind of Mine, Malik is often press-shy, choosing not to take part in TV sit-downs or play the social media game in an era in which somebody like Ariana Grande spends much of the waking day interacting with her fans on Twitter and Instagram.

And while Malik has been open about some of his past struggles, including his battle with an eating disorder at the height of his One Direction fame and consistent difficulties with anxiety, they’re often revelations that feel accidental in nature. We learn of them during an unexpected moment of truth-telling between him and a journalist, the subject quickly changed soon after, or through lyrics that are just descriptive enough to imply deep truths. Even talking about his anxiety in an essay for Time Magazine felt like a necessary course-correction after a string of cancelled gigs led to unflattering rumours about his health in the press.

Whether Malik’s public persona is intended as a protective mask or not, it is still difficult, particularly in the wake of Icarus Falls, not to feel something for him. After all, his jump from a working-class kid to an international superstar worth a reported $50 million, practically overnight, is the sort of trajectory most of us would struggle with at the age of 40, let alone at 17 when Malik auditioned for The X Factor.

Icarus Falls doesn’t cover any new sonic ground for Malik as an artist. It sees him return to the same well of threadbare, silky R&B that helped Mind of Mine easily trounce his fellow One Direction bandmates in the “best first solo record” stakes. But it does whirr with a noticeable sadness, Malik repeatedly mourns the peace of his pre-X Factor past and beats himself up for mistakes he feels that he’s made since. And when he speaks of emotional pain, it often sounds not like something confined to history, but rather something he’s dealing with every day.

“I’d rather be anywhere but here,” he sings on Good Years. “I close my eyes and see a crowd of a thousand tears / I pray to God I didn’t waste all my good years.” On Insomnia: “I’ve been roaming and strolling all in the streets / Burning my eyes red, not slept for weeks.” On Back to Life: “I been flying so long / Can’t remember what it was like to be sober.” On Satisfaction: “Nobody said this would be easy / Nobody gave me a rule book to follow.”

Even typical love songs are fatalistic in nature, talk of Armageddon running through both Flight of the Stars (“I will follow / Hold you close standing on the edge of no tomorrow”) and Tonight (“Love me like tomorrow’s never gonna come”), while much of the album nods to an unnamed great love in Malik’s life that he needs to overcome incredible odds to be with – nothing new for love songs, but given a greater weight when paired with his statements over the years. Because if we know anything about Zayn Malik, it’s that he often can’t stand being Zayn Malik.

Through much of the little press he has done, Malik has expressed unease with most of the trappings of fame, particularly the assumptions that he ought to be personable and friendly with industry figures or musical collaborators. And when it comes to One Direction, he still appears burnt by the experience. While he told Vogue in November that he has recently been able to see his time with the band as “an amazing experience,” despite the “bulls---” of what he refers to as “the machine,” he also told GQ in June that he didn’t make any actual friends during the peak of his fame: “I definitely have issues trusting people.”

In the numerous articles that pop up every winter recalling how good The X Factor used to be, clips are embedded that showcase many of its most memorable contestants, and every year it becomes that bit more shocking how much One Direction looked like children during their time on the show. The scrawny limbs, those Justin Bieber haircuts, the awkward school-talent-show bopping and shuffling. It somehow worked, enough at least to turn them into a tween phenomenon, but in hindsight it’s indefensible that they were pushed as significantly as they were.

There was always something deer-in-the-headlights about the band in its early days, a sense that at least a few of them had been pulled along for the ride as opposed to having a firm grip on the steering wheel. The hunger so visible in pop bands of similar notoriety, whether manufactured or not, wasn’t always visible – and while all of them have transitioned into stable adults who are, for the most part, comfortable in the spotlight, their jarringly different responses to fame remain clear.

It’s important to remember, for context’s sake, that Malik was always a reluctant star. Only attending his original X Factor audition after being guilted by his mother into waking up early and making the journey there, he was, in his own words to The Fader, “a lazy teen”. And even during the audition stages, he expressed reluctance to properly join in, walking off stage during a choreography rehearsal and having to be coaxed to go back. At the time, Malik’s reaction registered as a petulant strop, but now feels oddly prescient.

Of Malik’s One Direction bandmates, Harry Styles was always the most naturally inclined to superstardom – such an affable schmoozer and networker that it was quickly no longer surprising to see images of him palling around with Mick Jagger or Stevie Nicks. Liam Payne always bore the personality of someone very eager to be seen, lack of self-awareness very much included, while the perpetually chipper Niall Horan has always simply appeared very, very happy to be there. But both Malik and Louis Tomlinson have often visibly struggled, uninspired by the more performative and fraudulent elements of celebrity, or the levels of attention handed to them by Simon Cowell and co.

“What I really can’t ever get used to, or really enjoy, are these super geared-up celebrity parties,” Tomlinson told Noisey last year. “No one actually cares. You see people who are beyond self-absorbed, and that’s why it can be a dangerous place.”

Malik has echoed similar sentiments. “I don’t work well in group situations, with loads of people staring at me,” he told GQ. “And when you say ‘star’… everyone wants you to be this kind of character that owns a room or is overly arrogant or confident. I’m not that guy, so I don’t want to be a star.”

What’s odd is that, for all his claims, Malik does bear all the superficial trappings of modern stardom. He’s a fashion darling but is permanently magnetised to the covers of cool indie magazines. Furthermore, his on-again/off-again relationship with supermodel Gigi Hadid has, since 2015, become a Generation Z equivalent of Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder in its aesthetic-heavy, era-defining popularity.

But Malik is also simultaneously detached. The GQ profile, his most extensive recent interview, bears all the hallmarks of a journalist struggling to fulfil a word count because of an uncommunicative subject, writer Carrie Battan even expresses Malik’s tendency to reply to her questions in “friendly but anodyne one-liners.” Like the very best of pop idols, from Britney to Beyoncé, Malik is so compelling principally because he’s so hard to read. But this can also be a poisoned chalice: every expression of doubt or self-pity determined to be a cry for help, every revelation shaping an image that may or may not be real.

It means that listening to Icarus Falls isn’t an entirely joyous experience, Malik’s lyrics painting a picture of a young man still working through the discomfort of his sudden fame and the trauma of a moment in the spotlight marred by illness and fractured relationships, many of its scars still visible today. But it’s also a record that you can’t help but admire as a result, especially if it serves as a form of catharsis for him.

In the decade since Britney Spears was forcibly taken to the hospital surrounded by hundreds of paparazzi photographers, our collective relationship with the idea of fame has greatly altered, particularly for a generation who watched Amy Winehouse essentially die before their eyes. The one beneath them are currently coming to terms with a raft of recent pop star crises, from Demi Lovato’s overdose to the deaths of artists like Mac Miller and Lil Peep.

For all the obvious charms in Malik’s life, from his incredible fortune to a kind of artistic freedom that he never had in One Direction, you’d have to be particularly cold not to feel empathy for the sheer strangeness of his adult existence; a world of rampant, maddening attention that has historically led even the strongest of stars into tragedy.

The Zayn Malik of today is a little bruised, a little listless, his magazine profiles never complete without references to the cloud of marijuana smoke that lingers around him, or his need to lock himself away from the world. It doesn’t sound like the most ideal of outcomes for a man who calls himself a pop idol Icarus and sings with whispery detachment that he has “[flown] too close to the sun.” But we can only hope that it at least serves as a parachute.