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#something i have but this one is better and would make me rly happy. but i dont use the one i have already
girl-bateman · 4 months
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷‍♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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applejongho · 2 years
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I need advice: I do not know what to do with my hair
#so fun fact about me is that I used to have a fear of haircuts (genuinely) like I would shake in the chair and these past few years ive been#trying to get over it#it has been ok! my hair was like halfway down my back before any haircuts were done and I would cut it little by little testing my fear#and it was going really well. I felt confident#but I wanted to try something different and go shorter than I ever have gone before: above my shoulders#and when that happened it ruined me! I cried for days and I feel like I lost my beauty bc I had connected a lot of my beauty to my hair#my family saying that my hair is so beautiful and dont ever cut it blah blah blah#which was now rly affecting me bc ow now my hair is above my shoulders and it's alley fault and I feel so ugly#all my fault**#it has grown out a bit and I got layers despite a lot of anxiety bc I have curly hair and#I like the layers and I like the short hair#but sometimes society's expectations and my family's gender norms smack my ass and im back at square one of 'I want long hair to feel pretty#bc with long hair I feel like I adhere to society better even if it doesnt make me happy(I feel like short hair is more Me)#and with short hair I feel more me but then I feel out of place and ugly#and ik this is all just identity issues but what should I do for this next haircut? my hair is just past my shoulders. do I just get a trim#or do I get it cut a little more so it's just above my shoulders?#which would make me happy bc That's Me but also not happy bc Society#sorry y'all had to learn about me today but I would appreciate any kind of perspective#apple lady words
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earthtooz · 2 years
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x : NO FEAR :*+゚ i wanna love you with no fear !
in which: itoshi rin rejected you, so why isn't he handling your avoidance well?
warnings: 5k wc, fluff with minor angst, jealous!rin, food cw, swearing, reo is reader's best friend, COLLEGE!AU, gn!reader, non-canon complaint
a/n: happy valentine's day !!! shoutout to @ryekoo for finally giving me inspo on what to do for the rin fic of my event - u rly saved my life <3
↳ 5K EVENT MASTERLIST ༉‧₊
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you:i’m going to end you. <reo3: i’m too pretty to die ._. you: and you told me i was too pretty for itoshi rin to reject!?!?!?! <reo3: oh... <reo3: i’m sorry. <reo3: condolences fr.
with a disappointed sigh, you pocket your phone, decidedly ignoring the next few messages that reo sends as you wait for your bus. he owes you a million yen for the amount of grief and distress he’s currently putting you through, especially with the way he shattered all hopes you had with your love life.
well, hopes that you were stupid enough to feed into because this was itoshi rin you’re talking about; possibly the most standoffish, calculated, and devastatingly gorgeous man you’ve ever met in your life. yet, despite his detestable personality, you still found yourself falling hook, line, and sinker for the man, despite his insults, cold comments, and dismissive attitude.
maybe it’s masochism. 
now that you look back on it, rin’s rejection seemed almost inevitable. even if you lead yourself to hope with all the times you caught him staring at you, the prompt replies to your messages, and willingness to somewhat tolerate you during group projects, it was rather obvious that this would be the outcome to your heartfelt confession. 
‘i don’t see you like that’.
it’s cringeworthy simply thinking about it. now you’re going to have another memory that’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.
recalling the expression he made after your confession; eyebrows scrunched and lips tugged into a slight frown, was traumatising enough for you to wish for the ground to swallow you whole. his face will plague you for an uncertain amount of time because today truly, was so very humbling.
the sight of your bus approaching your stop rouses you from the crevices of your thoughts and after you jump on and settle yourself into a seat in the relatively empty carriage, you bring your phone out to text reo again. he’d sent four messages since.
&lt;reo3: this doesn’t make any sense we all thought rin was into you &lt;reo3: like DOWN BAD into you<reo3: everyone on the team has literally made bets on you two <reo3: i’m sorry :c r u okay?  you: yeah. just gotta take the L and move on you: hey at least i’m free for valentines <reo3: LET’S GOOO we’re definitely doing something <reo3: i’ll be a better valentines than r*n you: you’re sexier too babes xoxo <reo3: duh!
maybe you’ll let reo see another day. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
your university schedule was never the same after the ‘itoshi rin’ fiasco.
it was never an amazing schedule to begin with since a few classes were quite inconvenient, and there’s only so much to enjoy out of your seminars. the fun part about them was being able to sit beside rin and talk to him whenever you could without getting waved off, but since his heartless decline of your feelings, acting ‘buddy-buddy’ wouldn’t be acceptable. so you resorted to sit by yourself in a section of the space you’ve never really occupied before, busying yourself on your phone as students walked in to class.
despite the temptation to look at the door to see when rin would come in, you do not budge one bit, eyes glued to your phone screen (which had nothing entertaining on it). this meant that you couldn’t see the confusion on his face when he didn’t see you in your normal spot and how it merged further into a look of offence when he instead spots you across the room.
reluctantly taking his usual seat, rin’s gaze lingers on you, hoping to meet your eyes at least once. but upon your insistence to pretend your phone was more important than him, he sits down, practically flopping onto his chair with his backpack cushioning his fall. 
sitting here feels a little empty. rin can’t help but think how it used to be much better when you insisted on being next to him.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── 
&lt;;reo3: you can come now rin isn’t here yet
you: kk b there soon
the trek across campus towards the university’s soccer field, although long, is harmless enough, especially since you were doing a favour for your best friend by bringing the soccer guards and water bottle that he left at your dorm. the harmful part was the looming threat of itoshi rin’s presence and your fear that you would encounter him on your way. 
all you needed to do was drop in quickly and leave. 
when you get to the field, nagi’s the one who sees you first from where he was lounging on the bleaches, changed in his soccer gear. 
“oh, y/n,” he mumbles, sitting up. “hello.”
“hey nagi. are you trying to nap before practice or something?” you ask.
“yeah.” 
“won’t that drain you though before practice starts? you’ve got like… five minutes.”
“still classified as a power nap. wanna collect a power up before startin’.”
amusing as ever, he is. “sure. hey, you know where reo is?”
“he’s changed, probably warming up with isagi and bachira and whoever else.”
“shouldn’t you be doing that too?”
“not until reo forces me to.”
as if on cue, a friendly and very familiar voice calls out nagi’s name and you’re delighted to see the purple-haired in question. you can finally give him his stupid stuff back; the ones you’ve been holding in your hands this entire time like an idiot.
“come on nagi!” reo exclaims, jogging over. a smile appears on his face when he sees you. “yo! y/n! thanks for bringing my things.”
“‘s not a problem. next time i’ll burn them so don’t leave them again,” you counter as the purple-haired takes his things from you with an eye roll. “i filled up your water bottle for you.” 
he places his things down before sitting beside nagi to put his guards on. “so considerate even whilst terrorising me.”
“of course.”
“seriously though, thank you for bringing my things.”
“not a problem. i’m gonna head back to my dorm to study so i’ll see you later. bye reo, bye nagi,” you wave at the two, fixing your backpack strap before turning around to leave the field, only to bump face-first into someone.
the apology that surfaces on your tongue quickly withers away when you lock eyes with a pair of steely, teal ones, partially hidden by strands of dark hair. he looks at you like he has something to say.
but you’re not ready to hear it. 
“uh, hi rin! gotta go!” you squeak before stepping to the side and running away, leaving rin to stare in bewilderment after you.
part of him has the urge to run after you. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
<reo3: isagi’s invited a bunch of us to the on campus screening of spirited away
<reo3: wanna come?
you: ykw why not
you: not like i have essays to write
<reo3: FUCK THEM ESSAYS! 
you: YOU’RE RIGHT SPIRITED AWAY IS BETTER !
if you knew that this would lead you to be seated (uncomfortably) between reo and isagi, who acted as the only barrier between you and an-unnamed-man (rin), then perhaps you would’ve dedicated yourself to your essay rather than a fun opportunity to hang out with your friends. 
1500 words sounds better than having to pretend like there wasn’t an icy cold stare penetrating the back of your head every time you turned to talk to reo, or isagi trying to keep his interactions up with rin so the latter wouldn’t try to talk to you.
you owe isagi a vending machine drink after this because a ‘thank you’ will never suffice. 
it’s easy enough to forget about rin when the movie plays and isagi begins whispering little pieces of commentary to you from time to time, eliciting giggles from you that you try to suppress to not annoy those around you. however, each sound that slipped past your lips was enough to make the dark-haired boy scrunch his face in disgust, an ugly, green monster climbing up his throat when he catches a glimpse of how happy you seemed with someone that wasn’t him. it kills him to see how easily it is for you to just ignore him like your friendship never existed.
since the campus movie was scheduled during a cool but bearable, autumn dusk, you severely underestimated how cold the night would get. heating wasn’t the best in the gymnasium so the committee had instructed everyone to bring their own blankets and warm covers, yet in your haste, you couldn’t bring adequate layers.
so after a while of trying to warm yourself up and convincing yourself that you were warm enough with a measly sweatshirt, rin notices from the corner of his eye how you kept rubbing your arms. 
he doesn’t hesitate to take off the fleece jacket that he was wearing over his university jumper. sure, it will be significantly colder without his outer layer, but rin’s willing to suffer as long as you were okay (when has he ever been this considerate?), except he stops when he sees nagi handing you his very oversized jumper. you accept it with a gracious smile and the white-haired boy merely shrugs before going back to watching the film. rin, on the other hand, feels a cauldron of rage brewing within him.
the sight makes his chest twist, wringing him dry as he stares dejectedly at how snug you seem in someone else’s clothes. the green monster inside of rin bubbles in contempt, a being that makes him want to rip the hoodie off you and replace it with his own for you to wrap yourself up in. he wants you to be content with him- happy because of him, not because of another.
you confessed to him only two weeks ago- barely even two weeks ago, so how could you so easily forget about him and move on? pretend like his rejection didn’t shatter you and him when he saw a devastation like no other on your pretty face?
rin doesn’t know how much longer he can live like this. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
the following tuesday, you’re already seated in your new spot for your seminar, busy setting up your laptop in preparation when rin walks in. you see him from the corner of your eye, backpack slung around his shoulder, hands tucked unassumingly in his pockets as all 185cm of him saunters towards the seats. however, when you notice that he bypasses his normal spot and walks even further out of your peripheral vision, alarms blare deafeningly in your head.
you freeze when you hear someone take the seat behind you.
there’s a hard gaze on the back of your head, one that roots you to your spot and wills you not to turn around.
sneaking out your phone from your bag, you hide it so that rin can’t see it from his angle. 
you: RIN IS SITTING BEHIND ME OH NO
you: terrible start to valentines day smh
<reo3: WHAT!??!!???!???! fr.
you: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY I’M GOING TO DISINTEGRATE RIGHT NOW
<reo3: maybe *don’t* do that???? 
<reo3: WHY’S HE SITTING BEHIND YOU?????
you: FUCK IF I KNOW IT FEELS LIKE HE’S THROWING DAGGERS AT MY HEAD
<reo3: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
you: CRY???????????? IDFK???????????
you: oh fuck class is about to start
you: i’ll let you know if anything happens
<reo3: STAY SAFE 
you tuck your phone away with fear and dread looming over you, personified through the form of itoshi rin, who sits so indifferently behind you, head propped on his hand. you hear his pen click behind you and you don’t even need to see him to know that he’s taking out that stupid notebook of his since he preferred to take notes by hand. you want to turn around and rip said book into shreds.
as the professor starts the class, you try your best to shake rin out of your thoughts, wanting to leave him behind in the depths of your mind so you can concentrate on this damn elective. none of the notes you were typing onto your document made sense and it felt like everything the professor was saying went in one ear then out the other. curse rin for having this effect on you. 
at least you get to gossip with reo after this.
though your seminar was only 60 minutes, it might as well have been 60 years because of how significantly older you feel at the end of it. the weight of rin’s stare was heavy on your shoulders when you hurriedly grab your things and make a dash for the exit.
well. you try to make a dash for the exit because somehow, rin gained the ability to teleport and beat you there, grabbing your wrist unceremoniously before pulling you into the hallways. you fumble with your phone, hurriedly texting reo.
you: UHH MAYDAY I MGHT NEEE TO SKIP OUR PLANS
<reo3: WHAT’S HAPPENING?????
you: RIN IS DRSGGING ME SIMEWHERE IDK WHERE
you: MY LOCARION IS ON LIFE360
you: I LUV YOU STUPID WHORE
<reo3: WHDJFWIJAIDJFAWHAT THE FUCK????
“hey!” you exclaim, helplessly being pulled by rin’s long strides, shutting your phone off as you try to match his eagerness. he could at least be a little more considerate and lighten up that grip of his on your wrist. “rin- what? where are we going?”
“you’ll see,” he responds gruffly.
your mind blanks despite the hurricane of questions that circulate your mind. how did you get here? is the delirium finally hitting you after countless sleepless nights? you stayed up until 2am last night to make valentine’s chocolates for your friends so maybe it’s the sugar and the sleep deprivation. 
as rin pulls you through the hallways, you think about how weird it is to allow him this close to you again- well, you didn’t exactly allow him, he kind of just… invaded your personal space. but after a whole week of not talking to him, responding dryly to his texts, avoiding your regular hangout spots, and overall pretending like he doesn’t exist, being exposed to his intimidating presence once more is… exhilarating? unreal? 
“wait, can we stop for a second?” you demand, breaking out of your funk when you step outside as if the harshness of the sun’s rays woke you up. “i’m so confused right now. where are we going?”
“we’re going to have lunch together at that café you’ve been wanting to try out,” he tells you with a serious expression, not breaking his usual aloof and stern personality. 
rin doesn’t give mixed messages: no, he gives messages that have completely been lost, fallen astray somewhere along the path of communication.
shifting your weight between your feet awkwardly, you tell him: “well, i kinda had valentine’s plans.”
his mask of coolness and uninterest cracks, exposing all the emotions he’s been withholding from surfacing for the past weeks; jealousy, envy, greed, they all manifest through the helpless scrunch of his face. “with who?” asks rin, tone a lot harsher than he had intended, matching the crease of his eyebrows and the frown he was wearing.
it’s the green monster in him talking.
if you were going out with someone else, someone new, rin’s not too sure what he’d do. determination and pettiness can only take a man so far before his resolve cracks and you have the power to crush his heart with a single stomp, extinguishing his flames in one, swift sweep. 
“with reo,” you confess. the dark-haired relaxes again, his face returning to a neutral expression.
“okay. ditch him then.” his audacity is baffling.
“i can’t just do that!” 
“why not?”
“cause that’s a shitty thing to do!” you say, before murmuring under your breath, “not that you’d know the first thing about being polite.” 
“i don’t care, it’s reo, you two hang out everyday. tell him to give me a turn.”
“you’re a horrible person, rin,” you murmur, ignoring the butterflies that erupt in your stomach.
he doesn’t say anything in retaliation, merely eyeing you expectantly, waiting for your next step. huffing, you reluctantly take out your phone as a sign of surrender under his suffocating pressure, muttering complaints under your breath as you find reo’s contact - literally your most recent one, to send him a quick message. almost instantly, your best friend responds with a thumbs up paired with a smirk and you almost want to block him then and there. 
“done.”
“perfect,” rin goes to grab your hand again but you retract from him just in time. when you look up to meet his gaze once more, you see his unimpressed expression whilst he keeps his palm extended towards you expectantly.
“i don’t need your help walking places,” you grumble, not liking how fast your heart was racing.
he gestures to his open palm once more. “i know.”
after a moment of silence, you give in, hesitantly placing your hand in his. with a small grin, rin intertwines your fingers before pulling you to his side. without another word, he begins walking, leaving you to merely follow the brutally fast pace he’s set.
you must’ve looked ridiculous to other people. being dragged around by an 185 cm man, how humbling.
the place rin led you to was not too far from campus; a totally manageable distance for the two of you to remain in silence during the walk. you try to bypass the awkwardness of it all by focusing on other things, like how warm rin’s hand is and how you hope he doesn’t mind your sweaty hands. he seems to be content from what you’ve observed, happily walking beside you whilst sparing a few occasional glances over; ones that you pretend you don’t see whilst admiring the cityscape around you.
there are various valentine’s decorations hung up around the insides of the cafe that made you cringe slightly. although they were very cute, you feel humiliation climbing up your throat, serving as a reminder that you were currently spending a day of love and romance, or whatever, standing beside the very man who rejected you. 
this is the cruellest version of a sick joke.
“welcome!” a cheery voice greets, breaking you out of your thoughts. “table for two?” rin nods. “perfect! are you here for valentine’s day because couples get access to a special menu on top of our regular one.” 
when you open your mouth to reject her offer, rin beats you to it. “we’ll take the valentine’s menu.”
“okay, right this way,” the waitress guides you to an empty table for two that was right by the corner. the atmosphere of the place was cozy with various candles and statement pieces to really bring it together, but you have no time or brain space to appreciate the aesthetic of the café. 
it’s not until the waitress leaves that you speak up, utterly confused. “why’d you get the valentine’s menu, we-”
realisation hits you like a truck. 
“-are we on a date right now?”
rin’s unmoving, save for the purse of his lips as he stares at you. you feel a little foolish right now.
“yeah, we are,” he answers, curtly and concisely.
alarms are blaring in your head, the earth is tremoring below you, there are distant screams somewhere in the back of your mind and all you can manage out is a simple ‘oh’. 
“get what you want, i’ll-” rin begins before you abruptly cut him off.
“-no, hold on, i’m so confused right now,” you rub your temples, staring at the stupid valentine’s day menu decorated with pink and hearts and chocolates. “why?”
“why what?”
“why are we on a date?”
“because it’s valentine’s day?”
“well- i know that part,” you murmur under your breath. “it’s just, y’know, people celebrate this day when they like each other.” and not when one party is miserable because the other rejected them. 
“we do like each other though.”
there are no words to describe the shock you feel. really. not even an anvil dropping on your head could wake you up from whatever dream you are conjuring right now. 
“no, we don’t! i like you, you don’t like me.”
he looks away, the tips of his ears turning red. “that’s not true,” he murmurs, no louder than a whisper, yet your jaw drops all the same at his confession. “i do like you.”
“a week ago you didn’t!” 
“a week ago i wasn’t ready to get into a… relationship… or whatever.”
“oh,” you fix the strap of your bag, feeling slightly awkward. “and you’re ready now all of a sudden?”
“yeah.”
“i don’t believe you.”
“the fuck? why?” 
“you don’t really seem like the type of guy to turn around on yourself like this. what changed?”
rin won’t ever tell you about how much he missed you during these two weeks and how it was his jealousy and greediness that spurred him to act on his feelings. instead, he simply slides the menu to you, pointing to a milkshake-‘lover’s brew’, and since the menu was decorated with pictures on the side, you could see what the concoction consisted of. whipped cream, heart sprinkles, topped with a caramel heart and fairy floss. 
“the milkshake?” you ask, trailing off towards the end. “you hate sweet things and this especially looks like it could give you diabetes.”
the dark-haired shrugs. “so? i thought you’d like it.” 
“sure, but it is kinda pricey for a milkshake.”
he shrugs again, putting his elbows on the table which causes his sleeves of his turtleneck to roll down a little, exposing the shiny silver of his, no doubt expensive, watch. “i’ll pay for us, it’s fine.”
“hold on-”
“i’m paying. end of argument.” 
it’s an offer you can’t really reject. being a university student and all, funds are limited, so wherever you can, you want to avoid withdrawing money out of your account. that said, it doesn’t mean that you don’t feel the slightest bit guilty about draining rin’s, but with how long you’ve been friends, you know that once he’s set his mind to something, it’s hard to change it.
“if you insist,” you grumble, straightening up your spine as you awkwardly fiddle with your shirt. you feel so scrutinised under his gaze, even as you reach for the jug of water and pour two cups of water. “what else should we get?”
the waitress then comes around to take your orders and when she’s gone, conversation flows easily, reverting back to how things were between the two of you (to rin’s relief). he listens as you talk animatedly about the unfortunate series of events you had with your professor the other day, how cute your encounter with the campus dogs were, and the really unfortunate run-in you had with a guy from your shared tutorial classes.
(the dark-haired boy makes a face when you mention another man’s name before his usual face of indifference melts back in.)
“here’s your milkshake,” the waitress says, placing the drink in the middle of the table before walking away, “you guys are really cute by the way.”
“thanks,” rin says calmly, a stark contrast to your flustered reaction.
two straws stick out from the milkshake and when you put one in your mouth, you almost choke when rin takes the other one, causing your noses to bump in the middle. the look he gives you is nothing short of mischievous before pulling away, a knowing smirk playing along his lips. 
“ew. that is really sweet,” he mutters before leaning back, crossing his arms. 
“yeah,” you cough. “it is really sweet.”
recovering from your embarrassment, the rest of lunch goes by quite seamlessly. he goes to pay for everything with a confident tap of his card, causing you to stand awkwardly behind him, keeping all complaints to yourself as it goes through. thanking the waitress, you leave the café hand-in-hand once more. 
“thanks again for paying,” you repeat and rin gives a hum of acknowledgement whilst you two walk aimlessly on the path. “what do you want to do now?”
“i don’t know. do you have anything you want to do?”
“i might have an idea.”
leading him in the direction of a nearby store that just opened recently, you come to a stop in front of a shop that had neon-lights illuminating its inside and claw machines filled with adorable plushies lining along the walls. 
glancing at him, there’s a glimmer of amusement in rin’s eyes as his lips turn upwards into a small smirk. “really?” he asks, looking over at you.
“really. this’ll be fun!” you promise before walking in, the dark-haired following suit as you stop in front of a token-purchasing machine. 
from the corner of your eye, you can see him taking out his wallet already and you immediately put your hand on your wrist, ceasing his movement.
with just one glance, a whole conversation passes between you two. “if you pay for me i will sock you.”
“i’d like to see you try,” he deadpans, quirking a brow before pressing the ‘20 tokens = $19’ button on the machine, “but i’m paying.”
then the sound of his card meeting the reader and the transaction being approved rings through the air, followed by the deafening noise of coins clashing against metal. the look he gives you is nothing short of proud. 
“come on babe, bet you won’t be able to get any prizes,” challenges rin as he brushes past you, the pet name causing your stomach to churn as insults rest on your tongue, offended by his declaration.
he’s gracious enough to give you half of the coins, allowing you to play four games each. you only manage to win on one of them and even then, you were astonished at your own achievements, excitedly grabbing the plushie and hugging the stuffed toy to your chest protectively. rin, on the other hand, comes back to you with two in both hands and the gawk you let out was completely against your will.
“how did you do that?” you ask, a little stupified at the sight (it was kinda hot though). although at this point, you shouldn’t really question how itoshi rin works since he takes the meaning of ‘march to the beat of your own drum’ to a whole other level. 
instead of answering, he hands them over to you and you have no choice but to take them, your arms now overloaded with three stuffed toys. 
before you can even open your mouth to ask if he broke into the machines, your phone buzzes with a notification and the second you open it, you’re met with a familiar ‘⚠️bereal’ banner, one that makes you excited over the impeccable timing. rin raises an eyebrow at your sudden surprise.
“bereal! quick, pose!” you demand and rin obeys, raising a peace sign with a slight smile before the camera turns around to you and the many stuffed toys you’re cuddling. 
how adorable you are might just kill him. 
the dark-haired shakes the thought away before taking out his phone, instructing you to smile. you pose for the photo, hugging all the plushies closely to your chest whilst rin gives his usual deadpan stare into the camera. he then gives you his phone to check if it was okay to post and when you approve, you press the ‘post >’ button for him.
shutting off his phone for him, it’s at the same time that the bereal notification pops up again, this time detailing how one of his friends had posted but that’s not what caught your attention.
it’s a certain photo that made your heart thump loudly in its ribcage.
“am i your lockscreen?” you ask, pride and flattery swelling in your stomach, manifesting through the warmth of your cheeks. 
the slight widening of his eyes give you all the answers you need. “you weren’t supposed to see that.” 
nothing could stop the slow grin from erupting on your expression. it’s ridiculous to say so, but it almost feels like a weight is being lifted from your chest, the pains of the last few weeks erasing themselves completely with this one detail. 
that’s how you know rin was meant for you.
“out of all pictures of me, you chose this one?” you question, gesturing to the selfie that you once sent him during your study sessions. your hair was messy, there was a semi-crazed look in your eyes, but at least the moisturising lip gloss you had reapplied then made you look somewhat put together. 
looking at his phone once more, you feel a little warm.
“i like it,” he mutters shyly, unable to look you in the eye. despite his embarrassment, his statement fills you with endless relief, providing gratification for your relationship with rin that you didn’t know you needed. 
though you’ve been friends with him for quite some time now, you feel as though you don’t really recognise the man in front of you. past perceptions you’ve had of him has now been shattered by his flustered gaze, the relentless blush coating his cheeks, and the uncharacteristic way he slumps, as if defending himself from any judgement you might throw at him. 
luckily for him, that’s not what you’re interested in doing.
unlocking your phone, you hand it to him. “take a matching selfie so i can make it my lock screen too.”
at least you have all the time in the world to get to know him all over again.
(rin will never tell you that he only has been active on bereal so he could see what you were up to. except it backfired every time because instead of satisfying how desperately he was longing for you during your two weeks of no contact, it only made him want you more. he wanted to be there with you through your intense study sessions, he wanted to be going on walks with you, he wanted to be there with you when you were watching one more episode of your favourite tv show before going to bed, he just wanted to be there with you.
now he has all the time to make sure he is.)
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
[@y/n’s BeReal]
@ karasu69: @fruityninjaotoya YOU OWE ME TWENTY BUCKS   → @fruitninjaotoya: Shut your micropenis up
@ yocchan: Y/N WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS   → @ nagixxxxxxxxxxxxx: ratio   → @ yocchan: DON’T RATIO ME RN
@monsterbachira: omg are y’all 😍❤️😍 rn   → @y/n: wut.   → @itshrin: Yes   → @monsterbachira: y/n rin is actually a good kisser   → @y/n: thanks for letting me know meguru!   → @itshrin: i’m going to end you. 
@bbgreo: i’m glad y’all had fun but no itoshi rin on our platonic date pls!   → @y/n: would never dream of it luv <3   → @itshrin: Sleep with one eye open, Reo   → @y/n: that’s my best friend :(   → @itshrin: You don’t need him   → @y/n: reo and i are one you can’t separate us   → @itshrin: Ok fine 😒   → @bbgreo: yay!   → @y/n: yay!
<reo3: told you you were too pretty to reject xx
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slytherinshua · 2 months
Text
FATAL FLAW
genre. rivals to lovers. fluff. warnings. competitive/perfectionist reader. both reader and taesan dance competitively. a little jealousy. not proofread. pairing. taesan x fem!reader. wc. 1.1k. request. requested by anon for #6: "I realized why I couldn't stand you; I can't stop loving you and it's driving me crazy." a/n. this was only supposed to be like 500 words what happened... idk like the dance rival plot just appeared in my head so i was like okay lets go w that USUALLY WRITING FOR TAESAN IS RLY HARD SO IM GLAD THIS FIC WAS KINDA THE OPPOSITE SDJKS net. @onedoornet
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Dongmin was your biggest rival in everything. Whether it was in school or at dance competitions, you would always be fighting for who would place first. You had a lot of respect for Dongmin, although your blood boiled whenever you placed second to him. Before he showed up, first place already had your name written on it before you even showed up to competitions. Your title as the ace was in limbo the second the raven haired boy showed his face.
You did well in school to make your parents happy, and were lucky enough to be able to place first without trying too hard. As long as you studied the material, your brain would do the rest. Dance was a different field, though. It was one of the only things that hadn’t come naturally to you as a child. Your parents were proud of you for sticking with something hard, hoping that you’d learn to persevere even when things were tough. When you eventually got to the top of your class in all dance areas as well, your parents were at a standstill. The appearance of Dongmin was celebrated by them, but not by you.
Worst of all, your parents were friends with his, and whether it was studying together or driving to dance class, they made sure your schedules were always intertwined. You saw the boy more than you saw your own friends. It was insufferable. You hated the way he smirked at you whenever he placed first, taunting you with those perfectly shaped eyebrows raising just slightly. You hated how he licked his lips, testing your self composure by making them look so inviting. And you hated his nickname for you; princess.
The week had been unpleasant all around. Dongmin had gone to extra dance classes in the morning, leaving you to get to school on your own. At first you had been excited at the idea— finally getting a break from the boy after months. Now you realized that having him next to you was better than seeing him at a distance. Your eyes couldn’t seem to leave him as you picked at your school lunch, eyeing him down like a hawk from across the cafeteria.
Why in the world was he talking to Minju and smiling? Your chopsticks almost snapped with how harsh you were holding them.
The situation only got worse that evening, as Dongmin had booked a slot at the studio to practice his solo, whereas you were left at home to study for a test which you already knew you would ace. You barely wrote anything in your notes, ending up spacing out instead, your phone open to Dongmin’s chat. You hated how you couldn’t get your mind off of him.
Your brain suddenly clicked, a sudden realization crashing down on you that you had never even considered before. And with your mind racing and impulsivity coursing through your veins, you grabbed your phone and rushed out of the house in the direction of the dance studio.
It was late in the night and only a couple rooms were in use, one of which was studio 8: where you could hear the music blasting for Dongmin’s solo. You didn’t bother knocking before entering the room, immediately catching the attention of a very surprised Dongmin.
“Hey, what are you doing here—“ 
“I need to tell you something.” You said simply. Dongmin gave you a questioning glance, but switched off the music regardless, grabbing a drink of water and a cloth to wipe his sweat. 
“You couldn’t have just told me over text or something?” He asked.
“No, I need to tell you in person.” 
Dongmin crossed his arms, taking a couple steps towards you, “Alright. Go ahead and say it, princess.” 
You took a breath, “I realized why I couldn’t stand you for all those months.” That caught Dongmin’s attention more than you storming into the practice room. He waited for you to continue speaking, eyes glued to your face.
“I can’t stop loving you and it’s driving me crazy.” You completed, daring to look up at his face, watching for his reaction.
You expected disgust or maybe his signature smirk to adorn his face like countless times before. He would probably enjoy having another way to beat you. But instead, shock and slight confusement showed on his face, a twinge of hope behind those ebony eyes. He took a tentative step forward, more hesitant than his previous ones, closing the rest of the distance between you and him. 
“You love me?” He questioned, trying to get his brain to process what you had just said. It was so unbelievable— especially coming from you. Dongmin had tried to get your attention for months. When his efforts only led to you getting mad, he had thought about giving up. But the rivalry kept your attention on him, and he quickly learned to accept that he might not have a chance with you, but he would still give it a valiant effort. 
You were the only girl he had ever crushed on, and he hadn’t anticipated that it would throw him headfirst into a lovesick disease that he couldn’t cure. You were both the poison and the antidote. Every day you plagued his mind, all efforts he tried to erase your pretty face out of his head failing. It was the fact that you were so close yet just out of reach that Dongmin couldn’t handle. He wanted you, needed you, for so many months. And now, finally, you were confessing to him.
“I-it’s stupid. I’ve hated you every single day since you first showed up. But, I can’t get you out of my head. Just get out of my head, please.” You whispered the last part in desperation, suffering from the very same lovesickness that Dongmin had endured for months. 
His eyes softened looking at you, but he shook his head, “I’ve tried for months to get you to think about me. I’m not gonna leave now.” He took hold of your wrist, pulling you forward so your face was mere centimetres away from his. His eyes asked for permission from you, eyeing your lips and eyes until you gave him a slight nod. He didn’t waste a second diving in, finally fulfilling what he had longed for since the first time he met you.
And it didn’t disappoint. The softness of your lips was just as he had imagined, and they fit perfectly with his, as if you were made for him. You— perfect face, perfect dance, perfect grades, perfect everything— had finally found your fatal flaw: falling for your rival. But maybe it wasn’t such a disastrous miscalculation on your part. Maybe you and Dongmin were destined to be from the start.
↳ boynextdoor taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @rizzshimura,, @captivq,, @icyminghao,, @eternalgyu,, @metalchick529,,
@schmocolateschmchip,, @kpoprhia,, @candewlsy,, @weird-bookworm,, @blossominghunnie,,
@kangtaehyunzzz,, @snowflakemoon3,, @lovialy,, @lecheugo,, @okshu,,
@wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,, @emmylksblog,,
@talkingsaxy,, @talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,, @cupidslovearrows,, @dimplewonie,,
@hrtsvivis,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @kristianities
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star-girl69 · 8 months
Text
Cherry Blossom
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
—-
synopsis: headcanons about you and clarisse and your new adopted kid
a/n: idk inspiration strikes randomly but enjoy
Cherry Blossom - Lana Del Rey
warnings: not proofread, probs ooc clarisse but I DONT CARE I DO WHAT I WANT, swearing, mentions of violence and weapons, idk pretty chill, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
clarisse never really felt anything towards kids
sure some of them are cute
she likes her younger siblings, bc she gets a real kick out of being able to teach someone who ACTUALLY has talent
she wants a mini army of ares kids w her skill
she would DESTROY in capture the flag
but then along comes your little sibling ivy
even clarisse admits that that’s a cute kid
and you just LOVE this little baby
she has the same hair color and skin as you and yours just like omg my baby
she comes to camp when she’s like 10
bc her mortal parent has a new family and doesn’t rly want her anymore
she never really talks about it but you know that it hurts her
and then it’s like omg this adorable little baby needs a mom EYE will be her mom
clarisse is so confused as to why you love ivy so much
but you are DETERMINED
clarisse is trying to have a nice little date with you and then you walk over with ivy on your hip
she’s about to like explode
but one day you’re helping ivy get used to holding a sword and clarisse watches you from afar and she’s like OH MY GOD bc you are teaching her WRONG
so she marches over even tho she’s supposed to be doing something
“oh my god y/n y/n please i love you so much but STOP”
“what ☹️☹️”
“you are teaching her wrong just move over again i love you but MOVE OVER”
so then she teaches ivy just like the basic stances and ivy is like GOOD
you’re both impressed
but she just has a natural talent
and then all of a sudden clarisse is like oh yeah so this is my child and i would kill for her
ivy is the most spoiled camper at camp
like she always gets little baubles and things from the hephaestus kids you ask them to make and clarisse threatens them to make
you get her the BIGGEST piece of dessert every day
clarisse is a bit more bad cop tho
she’s not afraid to tell ivy to go do 20 push ups if she does smth wrong
and you’re just like “WHY ARE YOU TORTURING THE PRECIOUS BABY????”
it’s so funny bc you and clarisse will just be like tucking ivy in every night and it’s SO jarring bc clarisse is like “ok my little warrior have sweet dreams” and kissing her forehead
all of your siblings are confused but very happy!!!! ivy deserves loving parents even if they are two teenage girls
ivy is also the most popular and influential 10 year old at camp
like everyone knows her name and everyone knows to give her what she wants
there was this one day when some older camper accidentally bumped into her and bc she’s just a baby and so tiny (☹️❤️❤️) she got KNOCKED to the ground
and you’re like “OH MY GOD MY BABY”
and clarisse is like “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?” about to punch the guy and then ivy starts crying bc she skinned her knee and then clarisse is like WHAT
she throws the kid to the ground and she’s like freaking out
overprotective clarisse you can never escape her
so then you’re all like running off the infirmary and ivy is FINE like you and clarisse are just insane
and then one time another younger kid was being mean to ivy and you actually had to hold clarisse back from attacking this 12 year old
ivy definitely picks up her habits from the two of you
someone pisses her off and she will just start attacking them
clarisse is trying so hard not to be proud while you tell ivy that violence is not the answer
but then clarisse is like “OH WHO CARES Y/N THAT WAS SUCH A GREAT KICK AND AN EVEN BETTER PUNCH”
“CLARISSE NO”
the ONLY two people clarisse is affectionate with are you and ivy like ivy is always climbing her like a jungle gym bc clarisse is just so strong and can like do all these crazy things w her
clarisse will literally throw her up into the air really high and catch her
ivy fucking loves it
you have a heart attack
and now they have to do it in secret 💔
you always tuck ivy in together but let’s be real most nights ivy ends up in your bed
and clarisse is all pissed off
so she ends up sneaking into your cabin and your bed every night
like just a huge tangle of limbs and blankets and ivy snores but it’s not that loud and it’s adorable
like the ONE night clarisse didn’t sneak into your bed ivy had a nightmare and you were like oh no way
bc most nights clarisse comes in at like 11pm and you’re already asleep but you know she’s there and you wake up next to her so
but you wake up to comfort ivy and you’re like WHERE THE FUCK IS CLARISSE
and then ivy realizes CLARISSE IS NOT THERE
it’s like some super dramatic scene in a movie you wrap up ivy in a blanket and come into the area cabin and start berating clarisse
“do you just hate us? bc it is ONE THIRTY THREE in the morning and you are NOT in my bed and poor ivy had a nightmare and you WERE NOT THERE”
clarisse is like looking at you like what
half of her siblings are awake and just watching this crying child you’re holding cross her arms and shake her head disapprovingly and clarisse is not even awake yet
“baby idek what you’re saying just come lay down”
“yes but we’re talking about this in the morning”
“…okay”
of course all is forgiven the next morning after a nice sleep
there was this one night you were at the campfire and then ivy just found some random person’s dagger? and she’s like
“y/n!!! clarisse!!! look what i found!!!!”
“what do you have?”
“a knife!!!!”
“NO”
like that one meme y’all know
and then you have to chase her down
clarisse gives her a very blunt sort of dagger thing to play with and ivy is very happy
it’s so weird bc clarisse is like yk being all grumpy and mean and then ivy or you walks around and she’s like AHHHHHH MY LOVES
also when percy shows up he’s so confused
like the scene where she pushes him over you walk over with ivy and then ivy literally JUMPS from your arms to clarisse’s bc she knows she’ll catch her
and then clarisse is like “omg hi my little warrior how is your day?”
“OH MY GOD I THREW A ROCK REALLY HIGH I’M SO STRONG”
you’re like “no seriously it was like 10 feet high”
“omg baby that’s so amazing i’m so proud of you”
then everyone around you is like “oh wow ivy that’s so amazing you are so strong”
bc ivy is just an adorable baby and also bc they don’t want to incur clarisse’s wrath
she don’t PLAY about ivy’s happiness
percy is ????
then clarisse is like “oh isn’t that so funny my 10 year old baby can throw a rock higher than you probably can”
PERCY IS ??????
that’s all i got y’all
in conclusion ivy is just your perfect little angel princess
and you and ivy are the lights of clarisse’s life
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo
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midnightwriter21 · 1 month
Note
heyy :) can i request small scenarios of s/o asking the kny hashira what hairstyle do they like the best on them?? (like braid, ponytail, bun, hair down etc etc) some fluff!!
demon slayer hcs: which hairstyles do the hashira prefer
characters: obanai, rengoku, sanemi, muichiro, mitsuri, tengen, shinobu, giyuu
warnings: i say meanie words
an: giyuu’s kinda sucked lol i’m sorry. i don’t write for gyomei
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OBANAI
i think obanai would prefer his partner to have a practical hairstyle
that way it doesn’t become an obstacle or even a danger if they come into contact with a demon
therefore he’d probably like his partner to wear their hair tied up in some way
whether it’s braided like mitsuri
or in a simple ponytail
as long as it’s outta the way and won’t become a safety hazard
bc with snake boy
your safety is his top priority
also!!
obanai is canonically down bad for his bae
so he’d also like his partners hair tied up so that it doesn’t obscure their face from his view
he likes to admire you
wants to see every inch of every expression that crosses your face
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RENGOKU
i’ve said this before in other hcs but imma restate it here
kyo is the ultimate service bf
will do EVERYTHING for you
including doing your hair
that being said
i feel like he’d do your hair exactly the same way he does his
the lil half up half down thing he got goin on?
it’s the only hair style he knows how to do lmfao
but!!
if you don’t prefer that hairstyle he would absolutely learn how to do other ones
would prob ask mitsuri to teach him how to do hair
he just wants you to be happy with the way you look
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SANEMI
BOYFRIENNDDDDDDD
he’s so gorgeous it makes me sick
my man’s likes long hair
now do NOT get it twisted!!
if you’re on a mission?
that hair better be tied tf up
ponytail, braids, bun, pigtails
he don’t care
but put it up
like obanai, your safety comes first
sanemi will tie your hair up himself if need be
it might get tangled… but it’ll be up
if you’re just chilling at the butterfly mansion or at his estate though…
he likes it down
he likes the way it flows down your back and frames your face
and when he’s feeling soft he likes to run his fingers through it
he thinks it makes you look more innocent and carefree
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MUICHIRO
he does not gaf
at all lmfaoooooo
okay that’s a lie
kinda
i feel like he doesn’t really care about the length of your hair
or the exact style you wear it in
but i do think he likes face framing bangs
not for any real reason
just that it accentuates your facial features
it draws more attention to just how cute you are
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MITSURI
oh you already know that y’all are about to be TWINNINGGGG
mitsuri is braiding your hair herself😤
i just know she’s so gentle with it too
she’s brushing your hair and detangling any stubborn knots
you don’t even feel the slightest tug on your scalp
did y’all’s moms ever pull tf outta your hair while they were doing ur hair when u were little?
i learned to do my own hair rly young cause she was so rough… just me? oh okay
ANYWAYS
yk when you used to plan to wear the same outfits as your friends when you were younger?
the whole “let’s both wear a skirt tomorrow” type thing?
that’s mitsuri but with your hair
and it’s every single day
queen
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TENGEN
he does not have to be THAT fine bro tell the animators to calm down
ik they be animating him with one hand if ykwim lmfaoo
*ahem* anyways
another one that does not gaf what you do with your hair
as long as it’s ✨flashy✨
and by flashy i mean he wants it to be something that makes you feel and look confident
cause confidence is sexy af
period
now he does want you to keep up your hair maintenance
and by hair maintenance
i mean make sure that hair dye stays fresh
those split ends? trimmed
and keep that shit washed and clean too
other than hair maintenance i don’t think he’s that picky
every once in a while he might suggest a hairstyle he thinks would suit you
but ultimately it’s your decision
also i think he’s really good at doing hair
i mean the man has 3 wives already
if you think he’s not helping them style theirs… your wrong
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SHINOBU
mommy? sorry… mommy?
i think she’d prefer your hair to be tied up in a bun
she likes to see your face
study your expressions
she likes being able to read you
things you like, dislike, and how you react to certain things
not only does she think you’re adorable
but she thinks your facial expressions are entertaining as well
she’s gonna help you do your hair
and she’s def the best at doing hair compared to the other hashira
she’s gonna have you looking good asf
not a hair out of place
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GIYUU
water boy likes short hair
not super short
like below the chin but just barely above the shoulders
idk why i just feel it in my bones
also the cute wispy bangs covering your forehead
yeah
i can’t come up with a reason for this i just think it fits lmfao sorry
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yoongiseesawmp3 · 9 months
Text
anything but - jeonghan
summary: roommate!jeonghan. you thought living with your best friend, jeonghan, would be easy. fun. like a sleepover every night. but as he watches you struggle week in and week out with crushes that don't like you back or dates that never seem to go well, he decides to take matters into his own hands.
word count: 8.2k
warnings: none rly, afab reader, unedited, sry
masterlist
jeonghan is ready to go to sleep. he had a long day, followed by a good, but tiring, night with friends, and he's been thinking about his soft sheets for the past two hours now. he's also been thinking about you, thinking about how happy he gets seeing your face light up when he walks through the door, but he knows he won't see that tonight. you're going on a date, dinner with some loser who's not him. he knows he could treat you so much better, but he can't just say that. things would get weird, and jeonghan can't afford the rent on his own. so selfishly, he keeps you and his feelings at arm's length. he's still thinking about you as he puts his key in the lock, wondering if he can stay up late enough to make sure you get home safe. when he opens the door, he changes his mind.
"what are you doing here?" jeonghan asks with a bit of anger in his voice, finding you laid out on the couch scrolling through your phone. "you told me you were going on a date tonight. did you cancel on him?"
"nope," you reply, popping the p as you sit up to stare at your roommate. "he cancelled on me. ten minutes before he was supposed to pick me up, actually, so i got ready for nothing."
that's when jeonghan notices the nice clothes you have on, your hair done up but mussed now that you've been laying on it. and, with a pang in his chest, he notices your makeup that looks smudged with tears. he knows you've been having dating trouble lately, and it's definitely been getting to you. but it makes his heart ache to think that you've been home all night crying over some loser who couldn't even bother to take you out.
"why didn't you call me?" he asks softly, joining you on the couch as he lifts your legs to lay them over his lap. he keeps a comforting hand on your calf as you explain, a slight tremor in your bottom lip as you say, "i didn't want to interrupt boy's night."
"baby, come on," he sighs. "you should have told me. you could've come to boy's night!"
"right," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "and hear all of them talk about their beautiful girlfriends and being so happy in a relationship? i'd rather eat drywall."
"we talk about other stuff," jeonghan laughs. "i told them about you getting us tickets to that soccer game and now i think they like you better than me. mingyu might be calling to see if he can take my ticket."
"never," you smile at him, sitting up and swinging your legs from his lap. "well, it's late. you're probably tired."
"eh," jeonghan shrugs, looking over you carefully to gauge if you're upset. "i could stay up a little longer, if you wanted to watch something."
"we're caught up on all our shows though," you pout. jeonghan sees an idea cross your face, so he asks, "what are you thinking?"
"nothing," you shake your head. "i remembered i didn't watch project runway last week, but you don't like that show-"
"put it on," he nods to the tv, looking over you one more time and noticing your clothes must not be that comfortable. "or you go change, i'll set it up."
"you don't know what episode i'm on though," you squint at him, and he shakes his head.
"nope, you're two weeks behind," he says. "i remember, because we went out the week before and you were ticked off that you were missing it."
"you pay too much attention to me," you mumble as you finally get up from the couch, jeonghan barely hearing you as he checks you out from behind. you're right, he does. too bad you haven't realized why.
when you come back from your room, you're wearing a hoodie that's seen better days and shorts that aren't quite doing their job. jeonghan clears his throat, trying not to stare, but when you sit down and put your legs back over his lap he can't help but skirt his hand over your skin, getting too close to your thigh without realizing.
"that tickles," you giggle, pushing his hand away. "you're annoying."
"ha, sorry," he laughs nervously, not sure what to do with his hands now so he reaches for the remote to press play. not far into the episode you curl up on your side of the couch, your knees tucked up beneath you as you lay down. jeonghan keeps an eye on you the whole time, attune to all your reactions and movements. he notices when you shiver, up in an instant to get a blanket.
"where are you going?" you call out, and he comes back wordlessly with the comforter from his room. he wraps it over you, using the rest of it to cover himself as he gets comfortable again. you find yourself dozing off, waking up every few minutes to see the progress on your favorite designers. you sleep through a whole section of the show, whining that you need to rewind, but jeonghan quietly explains what's happened and you're satisfied enough.
"do you want me to turn this off?" jeonghan asks after he sees your eyes closed again after you just complained about missing part of the show. you shake your head, not much of it visible outside of his blanket. you're noticing how nice his blanket smells, recognizing it as the same fresh scent that follows jeonghan around. it makes you feel at home, and that's part of what's making you so sleepy.
"i don't wanna go to my room," you admit shyly, feeling the tears from earlier just a moment or two away. "i'll stay awake, promise."
"do you want to sleep out here?" jeonghan asks, and you think about it for a moment. it wouldn't be the first time you had a little sleepover of sorts, both of you squished awkwardly on the couch or sleeping far apart from each other on someone's mattress that's been dragged out from one of your rooms. your silence decides it for jeonghan, and he says, "i'll go change, and then we can go to sleep." all you do is nod, getting comfortable beneath his comforter again as jeonghan slinks back to his bedroom to get ready for bed.
he comes back out and laughs to himself, your messy hair and scrunched sleepy face pulling at his heart. he knows someday he should tell you how he feels. he knows what you're looking for, and he knows he's perfect for you. it's just a matter of time before you figure that out, too.
-
a few days later, jeonghan was in the middle of a nap when he heard mumbling in the hallway and the sound of someone slamming doors. he was worried for only a few minutes, thinking it could possibly be an intruder, but as the mumbling gets closer to his door he knows there's a very frustrated y/n on the other side. he groans as he hoists himself up, shuffling to the door so he can peek out at you putting laundry away in the most irritated way possible. it's like you're trying to punish the towels for existing, and jeonghan can't help but laugh at the annoyed look on your face. it's cute, he finds himself thinking, but his chuckle pulls you from your dark thoughts and brings your anger to a new victim.
"what."
"nothing," jeonghan says defensively. "i thought someone was breaking in, you know, with all the banging around."
"shut up," you mumble, shoving the washcloths into the hall closet before slamming the door. you turn to your best friend and roommate, finger pointed accusingly, "i'm in a bad mood so don't piss me off."
"that explains the stress cleaning," he notes, and you ignore him.
"i'm going downstairs to put the dishes away," you grumble as you pass by him to get to the stairs, and he puts a timid hand on your shoulder.
"maybe do something that involves less breakables," he says coolly. "go punch a pillow or something."
"that's a good idea," you say, face lighting up slightly, and he laughs nervously as he finally asks what's wrong. "you remember that bitch of a dude who i was talking to a couple weeks ago?"
"gar bear?" jeonghan asks, and you roll your eyes.
"gary, yeah."
"what about him?" he asks, watching you unlock your phone and scroll to find something. you shove it into his hands, open to a very disturbing picture of a very ugly dick. "no."
"yeah. at three pm on a fucking thursday."
"stop making me look at it," he whines, pushing your phone back to you. "that's what made you mad?"
"yes!" you shout. "how did that thought process work? oh, this girl who i led on and then gaslit and then weirded out, she really needs to see my dick right now. it's the middle of the day! get a job! contribute to society!!!"
"why's he posing like that?" jeonghan asks, noticing more about the photo since you haven't locked your phone yet. "he looks so stiff."
"please stop," you say, but jeonghan sees a smile pulling at your lips.
"so what did you do?"
"i said 'what is your problem' and then i blocked him," you shrug, and he laughs.
"remind me to never piss you off," he says as he wraps an arm around you. "i'm sorry guys are assholes."
"i think i'm gonna become a nun," you mumble into his shoulder, staying in his hold maybe a minute too long. he presses a quick kiss to the crown of your head before letting you go, a blush on your cheeks that he takes pride in.
"you'd suck at being a nun, you're not nice enough," he jokes, and the way you glare at him makes him smile. "plus you fuck too much, aren't they supposed to be celibate?"
"forget punching pillows, i'm gonna punch you."
"sure baby," he chuckles, looking back at you as he walks downstairs. "you want food or something? i'll do the dishes. you just focus on not burning down the patriarchy."
"no promises," you mumble as you follow behind him. "but yeah, i wanna try this recipe i found the other day..."
it's over dinner that night that you realize how perfect jeonghan is. if only you could find a guy just like your best friend. someone who supports you, makes you smile, know how to get your heart to skip a beat. take, for example, his compliments. you like to joke to jeonghan that you need validation on your cooking, like tinkerbell, so whenever you cook for him the praises are nonstop. he's nothing if not supportive, so he tries to find things to comment on that he knows will make you blush. it works, and you do your best to tell him to stop without making it obvious that your heart is doing somersaults at his words.
this is what you want from a relationship, you find yourself thinking. you want to be comfortable with them, feel supported, all the things that jeonghan gives you. that night, you scroll through your dating apps, looking for a guy you think could meet those standards. in reality, you spend the whole night comparing the men on your screen to your roommate, subconsciously thinking of all the things you like most about jeonghan that these losers don't possess. you fall asleep like that, phone open to an empty chat, with jeonghan still on your mind.
-
so, a downside to living with jeonghan is you get the brunt end of all his weird energy. sometimes it's fun, and manifests itself in silly ways. like when you go thrifting, he takes it upon himself to find the weirdest thing in the store and insists on bringing it home. it means your apartment is decorated uniquely, but some of the stranger things you make him keep in his room. you haven't figured out yet that he only does this to make you laugh, loving how you smile sweetly at all the funny trinkets littered around your house. anything that goes into his room is eventually donated back to goodwill, its purpose served, doomed to delight another unassuming shopper some day.
other times, his weird energy comes out in worse ways. like today, he's not home, but you can feel that something's wrong. you know jeonghan is helping his friends with some video shoot, and he won't be home until much later. but there's a vibe in your apartment when you walk in. something is off, and it doesn't take you long to realize it. jeonghan has moved everything around, the couch where your kitchen table should be, the chairs from the table lined up in place of your couch. he's a strange one, your best friend, but it makes you laugh nonetheless, sending him a picture of the chairs and asking, "how am i supposed to fall asleep watching tv on this?!"
jeonghan smiles when he gets your text, shooting back, "watch tv in your room if you know you're just gonna fall asleep!"
really, he did the switcharoo for you to let your guard down. yes, moving furniture around is something silly that he would do, but he hid something further in the house that he wants you to find. he's hoping he'll be home when you do, but just the mere thought of your reaction has him chuckling. he goes back to whatever vernon wanted him to do, curious at each buzz from his phone, wondering if it's you.
jeonghan got the best of you, like usual. you did just go to your room, putting on one of your comfort shows so you could relax after a boring shift at work. you only get up to make a quick meal, dozing off again with the empty plate beside you. when the tv wakes you up you figure it's just time for you to go to bed, so you shuffle to the kitchen and notice a light coming from under jeonghan's door. he must have come home while you were napping, but it's late, so you go about your business. you drop your things off in the kitchen, returning upstairs to grab a washcloth and towel from the closet before you lock yourself in the bathroom. jeonghan is listening intently as you move around, waiting for the sound of the shower curtain pulling back and-
"JEONGHAN?!"
with sock clad feet that send him crashing through the now open bathroom door, he greets you with a shit eating grin. "you rang?"
"what the FUCK is that doing in here," you bellow, pointing at the plastic skeleton jeonghan found at the party store earlier that day. he thought it would be funny to hide in the apartment, at first just thinking about propping it up in the kitchen like the dead guy was making a meal, but the idea of scaring you a little was too good for him to pass up.
"man, when was the last time you cleaned your bathroom?" jeonghan jokes, "he must've been in here a while."
"fuck you," you spit, heart still racing from the surprise. that's when jeonghan notices something: you're naked. well, not entirely. like, you definitely don't have clothes on, his eyes flicking down to see your discarded panties and sleep shirt on the floor. he can't see the goods though because you're dangerously holding a towel over your body, one edge of it slipping as you reach out to try and punch jeonghan.
"what, you don't like him?" jeonghan pouts, stepping out of the bathroom to protect himself. "i thought you said you wanted to start decorating for halloween."
"this is not what i meant and you know it, you jackass," you try to say meanly, but jeonghan finds it cute. "it scared the shit out of me."
"i'm sorry," he says finally, hands twitching to reach out and grab you by the waist so he can rub comforting circles on your skin. but he can't. he physically shakes his hands out, a thing he does often enough to reset his mind that you look at him quizzically.
"why'd you do that?" you ask, and he clasps his hands behind his back defensively.
"felt like it," he shrugs. you roll your eyes and reach for the door, grumbling more expletives at him as you try to shut it in his face. "um, y/n?"
"what."
"you gonna shower with him?" jeonghan asks, pointing to your new friend. "i gotta admit, i'm a little jealous-"
"oh my god," you groan, grabbing the skeleton and throwing it at jeonghan with a comical clangor of plastic bones. "i hate you."
"love you too baby," jeonghan laughs as he closes the door for you, hefting the skeleton over his shoulder to go hide him in another corner of the house.
-
a few days later (jeonghan has hid the skeleton twice now), you come home from a date, dopey smile still on your face. you gasp when you see a body on the couch, thinking it's that stupid skeleton again. you breathe a sigh of relief when you realize it's a snoozing jeonghan instead. he looks angelic, his soft features shining brightly even in the dark room, illuminated by the tv. you don't realize that you're staring, nor do you realize jeonghan is peeking at you, the sound of the door waking him up.
"hey," he calls quietly, startling you. "sorry. i can go back to sleep and you can keep staring."
"i wasn't staring," you say defensively.
"sure," jeonghan nods, checking you out. "you look nice."
"who's staring now?" you ask as you cross to the kitchen. "i went out to dinner, but the portions were too small. do you want something to eat?"
"no, i'm good!" jeonghan calls. "was it a fancy place?"
"what?" you ask, coming back into the living room with a bag of chips. "i couldn't hear you."
"where you ate," he clarifies. "you dressed up, the servings were small, must have been a fancy place this guy took you to."
"how'd you know i was on a date?" you pout.
"y/n, i know you better than anyone else," jeonghan chuckles. "it was obvious. how'd it go?"
"good," you nod, ears burning under jeonghan's close attention. "don't wanna jinx it though."
"ok," jeonghan nods. "well i'm glad it was a good date. you deserve one of those."
"how was your night?" you ask. jeonghan shifts on the couch so there's room for you to sit and join him. once you're settled he explains how his friend seungcheol had come over for drinks, but he left a little while ago.
"i think he's got a girlfriend and doesn't want to tell me," jeonghan says, "because he feels bad that i'm not seeing anybody."
"you want me to find you a lady?" you tease. "you know my friends love you, i'm sure it'd be easy.''
"no," he shakes his head so some of his hair falls in his eyes. it makes it easier for him to stare at you without you noticing. "i'm good."
"well, it's a standing offer," you say as you get up to return the chips to the pantry. when you walk back through the living room, you ask, "where's jack tonight? i'm about to shower, i don't want another heart attack."
"i put the skeleton in your bed," jeonghan smiles with an impish glint in his eyes. "i figured it would be a nice surprise for the poor sap you might have brought home."
"you're annoying."
"thanks!" jeonghan chirps, and you laugh before telling him goodnight. he watches you go, smiling at something on your phone. jeonghan feels a pang in his chest ever so slightly, but he shakes it off, turning the tv off before he goes back to sleep trying not to think about you.
-
the following week, you're acting off. jeonghan notices immediately, but he doesn't bring it up to you at first. he's not sure if maybe work is stressing you, or maybe you've got family stuff going on...whatever it is, he'll give it a day or two before he checks on you, knowing how you like having time to yourself before someone swoops in to help.
the reality is, you really like this guy you've been talking to. that first date was amazing, and you wanted to go out with him again as soon as possible. you talk all the time, always ducking into your room when he calls while you're around jeonghan. you're actually ignoring jeonghan a lot, which you feel bad about, but you just can't get enough of this new guy. even though you're talking a lot, it's hard to set up another date with him because you're both busy with work. you've got plans to hang out on sunday, and for the first time in a long time, you're excited for a date. not nervous, not dreading it, just pure schoolgirl crush excitement.
that's why it's so crushing when, a few hours before, the guy texts you and cancels. you play it off at first, asking when he's free to reschedule, but his response is basically telling you to get lost. it hurts your feelings more than it should, because he is just some loser dude, but you also didn't know him that long. you have no reason to be so devastated over this, but you are.
jeonghan knew about your second date with this guy, so he made plans to be out of the house for as long as possible on sunday. as selfish as it was, he didn't want to be there for the giddy getting ready (you always ask him for outfit advice and he always tells you that you look great) or for the nervous pacing while you waited for the guy to pick you up (jeonghan always distracts you with jokes to calm your nerves). he also didn't want to be there after the date, if you happened to bring the lucky guy home. so he's out running errands, bothering his friends, and killing time until he's sure he won't walk in on anything he doesn't want to see.
when jeonghan gets home, it's late. after his day of farting around he went to his friend wonwoo's apartment for a while to heckle him while he played video games, and wonwoo finally kicked him out.
"don't you need to go home to your girlfriend?" wonwoo had teased, and jeonghan kicked him from his spot on the couch.
"y/n's my best friend and my roommate."
"so basically your girlfriend," wonwoo smiles that little smile of his, and it annoys jeonghan.
"she doesn't think of it like that," jeonghan mumbles, looking for his phone so he can head home anyway.
"because you're being too subtle."
"i'm not trying to be anything!" jeonghan says defensively. "i don't want her to know."
"why not?" wonwoo asks, finally turning to look at his friend. "you afraid she'll say no? because we all think-"
"i'll see you later, ok?" jeonghan says quickly, his shoes barely on as he tries to unlock the door. "hope cheol doesn't kill you again."
"in his dreams," wonwoo mumbles, his attention effectively back on the game and off of jeonghan.
jeonghan comes home to a mostly dark apartment, the stove light in the kitchen the only indication that you got home before him. he stops at the door to make sure there's no...unpleasant sounds coming from elsewhere, and when he's met with silence he kicks his shoes off carefully before heading to his room. he's exhausted, hiding from you all day being a good way to wear a person out. when he passes by your room something catches his ear, and his heart stops. were you moaning?
jeonghan knows he shouldn't, but he presses his ear against your door, telling himself he's only doing this so he can decide if he needs to stay somewhere else tonight. he's waiting to hear another voice, a man's voice, but he's met with a quiet whimper, followed by some sniffles. his heart roars back to life hearing that, almost breaking to pieces when he realizes you're not moaning, you're in your room crying. he's opening the door before he knows what he's doing, and you jump out of your skin at the unwelcome intrusion.
"go away," you whisper. jeonghan ignores you, coming to your bedside and looking down at you with concern in his eyes. "jeonghan, please. go away-"
"why are you crying?" he asks, and you don't say anything. "what did that asshole do?"
"nothing," you sniff again, willing your tears to stay back as you try to appease your roommate long enough for him to decide you're fine and leave you alone. "h-he was bu-busy and had to cancel-"
"fuck him."
"yeah, whatever," you say shakily. "it doesn't matter. i'm fine. now leave. please." your eyes are closed, trying to hide the tears that are welling up, and jeonghan is so quiet you assume he left, but he's trying not to let his own emotions show as he calls your name.
"y/n," jeonghan whispers, and when you look up at him you can't help it. you start crying again seeing him so upset over you being so upset, and before long you're back to bawling your eyes out. you barely register jeonghan cooing softly at you, climbing into bed and scooping you up into his arms. his lips are pressing soft kisses up and down your hairline, and it makes you cry even more. this is what you want, you think. this is what you need, what you've been missing. you want a boyfriend that will care for you like jeonghan does, that will be there for you like jeonghan is. it physically hurts you to think that you may never have that, that there's a possibility you'll never feel that kind of romantic love from someone. and you want to say that, you want to tell jeonghan why he came home to you pathetically crying so much, but he doesn't care. he just wants you to stop, so he'll hold you in his arms whispering sweet jokes to you until there's no more tears. he gets the slightest smile out of you right before you doze off, hands bunched into his shirt holding on for dear life. jeonghan holds you tighter, pressing one last kiss to the tip of your snotty nose before he drifts off to sleep with you.
-
you wake up later, not quite in the morning, but a few hours have passed. you're not used to sharing a bed with someone, especially when that person has such a vice grip on you as jeonghan does. once your mind has registered that you're awake, you also feel the burn of someone's eyes on you. sure enough, when you peek into the darkness of your room you see jeonghan staring back, eyebrows creased and teeth nibbling his bottom lip.
"stop chewing your lip," you tell him, reaching out to tug it from between his teeth. "i'm fine. you don't need to worry about me."
"wrong," he replies, watching you intensely as he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. the quiet that follows has your face heating up, and the heat spreads through the rest of your body. it feels like every point where jeonghan's body is pressed against yours is on fire, and you want to pull away. but you don't.
"why aren't you in your room."
"because i wanted to sleep here," he replies. "i hope that's ok."
"it's not-"
"bummer," jeonghan cuts you off. "i'm not leaving."
"i'm not crying anymore though," you point out. "so. i'm fine."
"nope," he shakes his head. his bangs fall back into his eyes, and you think briefly he must need a haircut, but you hope he doesn't get one. the long hair suits him, even if it keeps him from seeing sometimes. you don't think about it, your hand unclenching his shirt and instead reaching up to brush his hair out of his face. jeonghan watches you carefully, and your breath gets caught in your throat when you look back down to his eyes. he's staring at you so intensely you can feel it in your chest, and that's when it hits you: jeonghan. you want a boyfriend like jeonghan. well! jeonghan's right here! what are you gonna do about it?
"jeonghan, i..." you trail off, staring at him like you're seeing him in a new light. he waits patiently for you to go on, thinking you might explain the situation a little more, but you don't know what to say. you just get hit with the intense need to bury your face in his chest, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat as you fall back asleep.
"what?" he asks, trying to encourage you to keep speaking.
"um, can i just-" you try, but instead of speaking you just nuzzle into his chest, nose at the base of his neck tickling his skin. "i want to go back to sleep."
"then sleep baby," he whispers as he squeezes you tighter, afraid to let go. as you fall asleep, you let your hands relax against his chest, one of them laid right over his racing heart.
-
the next morning, you wake up to an empty bed and almost convince yourself you dreamed up jeonghan last night. like an oasis in the desert, he came to you when you needed him most. a little part of you wishes it wasn't real so you could go back to a time where you didn't know your true feelings for jeonghan, but your mussed sheets proves it wasn't a dream. jeonghan's scent is still lingering on your extra pillow, and you take a deep breath and remember how it felt to be wrapped up in your best friend.
jeonghan comes back into your room with two coffees in hand and he sees you nuzzling your face into the spot where his head laid just minutes ago. he lets you wallow for a moment before he calls your name softly. you jump up, cheeks warming as you look at jeonghan in your doorway.
"morning," he smiles. he hands you your coffee, your cold hands brushing his and sparking warmth across his skin. he stops himself from leaning down to kiss your forehead, knowing that whatever intimacy you shared last night is probably left in the past. you were sad, and jeonghan was there to comfort you. he'd happily do that a million times over, but he doesn't think you feel the same way he does.
"jeonghan, i'm sorry about last night," you try to apologize, but he shakes his head.
"don't," he stops you. "i would do it again if you needed it."
"well if you find me crying over some loser again tonight you have full permission to slap me," you tell him. "one night was enough."
"noted," he laughs, awkwardly standing in your room, unsure if he can get back into bed with you. you pick up on the way his eyes keep flitting from you to his spot, and you pat the empty space so he'll sit down.
"stop being weird," you say, bumping shoulders with him once he's comfortably next to you again. "so how'd you sleep?"
"pretty good," he starts out, "but there was this really annyoing sound coming from your side of the bed?"
"oh you mean me crying?"
"no, like this really loud, obnoxious snoring, kinda like-" jeonghan starts demonstrating, sending you into a fit of giggles and a pushing match to get him to stop.
"i think that was you!" you shriek, carefully trying not to spill your coffee. "don't spill that in my bed, i'll kill you."
"and then who are you gonna cuddle at night?" jeonghan asks, regretting it when he feels the tension between you both.
"i could always cuddle with jack," you joke to break the awkwardness, and jeonghan rolls his eyes.
"i hate that you named the skeleton."
"the skeleton is a guest in our home," you tease him. "show him some respect."
"whatever, freak," he says before downing the rest of his coffee. he gets an idea then, turning to you to ask, "what are you doing today?"
"um, nothing except work," you reply. "but you know my job is barely real so i'm basically doing nothing."
"let's go get coffee," jeonghan says, a playful look in his eyes.
"we just had coffee," you point out.
"no, no, we'll get good coffee, you can do some work, i'll watch you do some work, it'll be great," he insists, getting up and pulling you out of bed with him.
"if you're still trying to cheer me up i swear i'm fine," you say through your laughter, pressing back against jeonghan trying to push you toward your closet. "you don't need to take me for coffee or do anything else to make me feel better. i'm fine now."
"glad to hear it," he smiles softly, squeezing your hand that's clasped firmly in his. "but i still want to get coffee, so get dressed or everyone at the cafe will see you in that god forsaken t shirt."
the t shirt in question is one that jeonghan found for you during one of your goodwill visits. for whatever reason, it says 'i shaved my balls for this' and it got the biggest laugh from you all night, so jeonghan had to bring it home. despite being awful colors (light blue paired with neon yellow) it's actually quite comfortable, and you love the way it makes jeonghan laugh every time you wear it. it's unironically become your favorite sleep shirt, but you are mortified at the thought of anyone aside from your best friend seeing you in it. you quickly change, grabbing your work laptop from your desk before you head into the living room to find jeonghan waiting for you.
it's not unusual for him to take you out on random adventures, but this one feels different. he stays closer to you than normal, insists on buying your drink, and you catch him actually watching you work.
"get a hobby," you mumble, looking down at your laptop so he hopefully won't see your blushing cheeks.
"this is my hobby," he says. "i'm hanging out with my favorite person."
"seungcheol's going to be very sad to hear he's been demoted," you tease.
"he knows where he stands," jeonghan says, still watching you intently. you can't take it anymore, staring back at him.
"seriously, pretend to read or something! you're distracting me."
"i'm distracting you?" he smiles. "why? i'm not doing anything."
"i'm sending this email and then we're leaving," you say, and he shrugs.
"if you want, baby."
baby. it hits you harder this time, jeonghan's silly little nickname for you. you thought it started off as a sarcastic thing, but recently you feel like it sounds sweeter and sweeter coming from his lips. after last night, it makes your heart skip a beat, and that's when it hits you: are you on a date with jeonghan right now?!
"wait. waitwaitwait. hold on," you say, pointing at jeonghan and then yourself. "is this a date? are we on a date?"
"what? no baby," he shakes his head, and now you're confused. "no, if we were on a date you'd know."
"what's that supposed to mean?" you squeak out.
"do you want us to be on a date right now?" jeonghan counters, and you know your blushing cheeks have you in trouble. "you do?"
"i-i don't know-"
"hm, you wanna go on a date with me," jeonghan says matter of factly. "well, that's good to know."
"what are you doing?" you ask as he starts cleaning up his space.
"oh i need to go back to the apartment," he says. "gotta get my laptop so i can start planning a date that's worthy of you. i'll see you at home?"
"jeonghan, what?" you're left sputtering as he heads to the door, not looking back even though he knows your staring. he's afraid you'll see the excited/nervous shake in his hands, so he needs to go cool off. well, that and plan the best date of your entire life. he's got a lot of ground to cover. thankfully, the idiots you usually grace your time with have set the bar pretty low. jeonghan is determined to bring it higher, so high in fact that you won't be able to go on another first date without comparing it to his. if things go right though, maybe you won't have to go on a first date ever again.
-
jeonghan left the coffeeshop before you, so it would make sense if he was at the apartment when you got back, right? wrong. you come home about an hour later to an empty home, no sign of jeonghan. you think that's fine, it gives you a chance to actually get some work done. but jeonghan being mia has you a little nervous. what's he doing? he said he was going to plan a date. for you. and him. you and jeonghan...on a date? that's crazy.
you've done a good job ignoring that whole concept, trying to get ahead on a project you need to present later this week. you're so hyperfocused that the whole day goes by before you realize it, and when you finally emerge from your room you really expect to find jeonghan in the living room. he's still gone, so you decide to text him, asking casually if he would be home for dinner. the domesticity isn't lost on you, and it makes jeonghan smile when he gets it. he decides to call instead of texting back, balancing his phone against his shoulder and his cheek once you pick up.
"you miss me or something?" he asks, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
"i was just curious," you reply nonchalantly. "you've been missing all day."
"i've been busy."
"oh ok."
"i'll be home soon though," he tells you. "don't make dinner, just make sure you're dressed in an hour."
"for what?"
"a surprise."
"i need more information and you know that," you scoff, and you hear jeonghan chuckle.
"dress nice, but not fancy. and wear something blue so we'll match," he explains, and you feel your cheeks warm. "i gotta go, but i'll see you soon, baby."
hearing that coming from jeonghan now makes your heart skip a beat, and it makes you wonder if you've always felt like this and you just didn't notice. you keep thinking about him as you get ready, steaming out a dress you were planning to wear on a date that didn't happen. it's a soft blue with long sleeves and a low tie in the front. you worry for a moment that it might be too revealing, but checking the time rushes you into action. you're almost ready when there's a knock at the front door, which you ignore. there's another knock, this time louder, so you grumble your way to the living room to peek through the peephole. you gasp when you see what's on the other side.
you throw the door open, revealing a visibly nervous jeonghan with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. he's wearing a blue shirt, almost the exact shade of your dress, and he openly stares at you with a happy smile and a look in his eyes that you've never seen before.
"jeonghan?" you ask, pulling him from his intense focus on your chest.
"y/n," he smiles, eyes flicking up to yours. "you look stunning."
"i'm not ready yet," you pout slightly, checking the time on your phone. "you weren't very specific about when you were coming home."
"you look perfect," he says, checking you out again. "what else could you need to do?"
"wouldn't you like to know?" you tease, and he rolls his eyes.
"i can give you ten minutes, but any longer than that and we'll be late."
"late for what?" you ask as he passes you the flowers. "these are beautiful by the way, carnations are-"
"your favorite, i know," he smiles softly. "you buy yourself a bunch almost every time you're at the grocery store."
"i can't remember the last time someone bought me flowers either," you mumble, opening the door enough for jeonghan to come inside. "what are you still doing out there? it's your house, come in."
"finish getting ready," he laughs at you, reaching for the flowers again. "i'm putting them in a vase, weirdo. you'll get them back when you're done getting pretty."
"i'll be back," you whisper, running off before he can see how nervous you just got. you try to calm your nerves as you finish your touch ups, panicking last minute over which shoes and purse go with your outfit.
jeonghan is sitting on the couch, your flowers in your favorite vase on the coffeetable. he perks up at the sound of you shuffling down the hallway, but he pouts when he sees you holding up all your shoes.
"y/n, we're gonna be late."
"i don't know which ones to wear," you say simply, and he smiles as he comes up to you, analyzing the choices. he picks the white shoes and the white purse.
"glad we're still keeping this tradition alive even though i'm the one taking you out this time," he says proudly, watching you get situated. you stand back up, mussing your hair one last time before he asks, "ready to go, beautiful?"
"i don't know why i'm so nervous," you tell him, taking his arm as you leave the apartment. "we hang out all the time."
"yeah, but this isn't us hanging out," jeonghan says as you wait for the elevator. "i'm taking you on the best date of your life. nerves are completely valid."
"are you nervous?" you whisper, leaning in so jeonghan gets a good whiff of your perfume that he loves finding traces of all through his life. he holds your gaze, eyes flicking down momentarily before he shakes his head.
"no, i thought i would be, but i'm not," he replies simply as you get on the elevator.
"ok good, so i'll just freak out for the both of us then."
"would you? that takes a lot of pressure off of me," jeonghan jokes, and you pinch his arm. "ouch! so mean to me when i've made the perfect night for you."
"and what does this perfect night entail?" you ask. jeonghan just shakes his head, leading you out into the lobby of the building. he takes you a different way, not walking to the parking garage but instead to the main entrance of your building. "jeonghan, are we walking there? i don't think i can make it in these shoes-"
you stop mid-sentence, spotting the shiny baby blue mustang convertible parked outside. you look at jeonghan, mouth open in surprise. he has to tug you down the hallway and out into the cool night air, helping you into the passenger seat with ease. you watch on in shock as he gets into the driver's side, finally cutting through the fog in your mind to ask, "do you even know how to drive this?"
"yeah," jeonghan says coolly, opening the glovebox to hand you a scrunchie of yours that he stole. "here, you might wanna put your hair up."
"you're insane," you tell him, playing with the scrunchie in your lap as he starts the car. you can't believe this so far, and the date's barely begun. what other surprises could he possibly have in store for you?
-
after a quick ride out of the city, you find yourself at a retro drive in that's completely empty. you have a sneaking suspicion jeonghan rented it just for the two of you tonight, but you don't have a chance to ask. once he parks, he's asking you to open the glovebox and you smile when you see the stack of movie theatre candy boxes he's stashed away. you take them out, turning back to jeonghan to see he's produced a tub of popcorn from somewhere and a couple of your favorite sodas. you stare at him with your mouth opening and closing like a fish and he just smiles proudly in return.
"jeonghan, what did you do?" you finally ask, and he laughs.
"do you like it?"
"what are we doing here?"
"watching a movie," he says obviously. he shifts the snacks, the drinks going into the holders by the radio and the popcorn and candy going on the dashboard. "come closer," he mumbles, tugging your arm. the smooth vinyl of the seats sending you flying into jeonghan's side, and you giggle nervously as you adjust your dress. jeonghan lays the snacks out over your laps and drapes his arm across your shoulders for good measure. he looks at you to gauge whether you're settled or not, and when he decides you're ready he presses on the horn once. the screen in front of you lights up, and you gasp as you see the opening credits for your favorite movie flashing before you.
"where did you get the idea to do this?" you ask him with a smile, taking a few pieces of popcorn to give you something to do with your hands.
"just thought it would be something different," he shrugs, and you leave it at that. you can barely focus on the movie, hyperaware of how warm jeonghan is next to you and how every glance he casts your way sends your heart racing faster and faster. a few minutes into it, you remember your hair is still tied up from the ride, so you shuffle out of jeonghan's grasp to pull the scrunchie down and reset yourself. you know jeonghan is watching, so you mumble, "watch the movie, weirdo."
"i've seen it before," he whispers back, eyes still heavy on you. "i'm not missing anything."
"you've seen me before too," you point out, leaning back into his side once you're done moving around. "quite a lot, actually."
"yeah, but i've never seen you on a date before," he says. "and on a date with me? whoa. i gotta soak it all in."
you turn to look at him then, admiring the way his hair falls so slightly into his eyes, the way his lips stretch over his shy smile, how his eyes glisten when they meet yours. you could kick yourself for not noticing any of this sooner. who knew you had exactly what you were looking for right here?
"jeonghan, i-" you start, but realize you don't have the words to tell him what you want to say. you stop, staring at him with your brows furrowed cutely.
"what, baby?" he laughs, his thumb coming up to trace the creases in your forehead. "you're gonna give yourself premature wrinkles like this."
"why are you doing this?" you ask quietly. "why are you so...wonderful? all the time?"
"because," he shrugs, his hand falling from your forehead to rest just below your chin. "i've been trying to show you what it would be like. took you long enough to come around."
"show me what?" you ask confused.
"what it's like being loved by me," he smiles back. you feel your breath catch in your throat, and you want to say something. you want to tell him how you feel, how you're sorry it took you so long, how you love every moment you spend with jeonghan by your side. instead you just lean forward, lips brushing over his. you bring your hands up to his neck, wrapping them in the soft hair at the back of his head as you scoot impossibly closer and try to press all your love into this one kiss. jeonghan keeps his hold on your chin, thumb stroking softly at your cheek. he's the first one to pull back, laughing when you try to bring his lips back to yours so quickly. he leans his forehead against yours, soft hair tickling your skin as he asks, "so you get it now?"
"yeah," you nod, knocking your heads together and sending you both into a fit of giggles. jeonghan steals a few more kisses, and when you finally calm down he pulls you back into his side, squeezing you as close to him as possible. you lay your head down on his shoulder, pressing your lips into the closest part of him you can reach. "thank you, jeonghan. my jeonghan."
"my y/n," he sighs, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "my beautiful, kind, funny girl."
"stop staring," you whisper bashfully. "you're missing the movie."
"i'm not missing anything," he repeats, but he takes one last look at you before he kisses the top of your head and finally turns back to the screen. this might be your first date with jeonghan, but it certainly won't be your last.
588 notes · View notes
wangxianficfinder · 27 days
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Fic Finder
Aug 24th
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1. Hi! For 3 grueling days I've been on a hunt for a fanfic where Lan Wanji and Jiang Cheng go back in time and change everything! I remember that at one point that WeiWuXian is exposed for hurting himself after Jiang Cheng yells at Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan for bing shitty parents and runs off crying where he is later joined by Jiang YanLi and WWX. Also that YZY immediately regrets everything along with JFM. And then a disciple says that he's never heard heart wrenching sobs before. Please help. It's a wonderful read. Thank you!!! @makkachinno
FOUND? Brother-In-Law’s by Loveable_Psychopath (M, 332k, WIP, JYL/JZX, wangxian, JC/WQ, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, Memories, Butterfly Effect, Sexual assualt, Self Harm, Self Doubt, BAMF JC, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rape Recovery, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Everyone Lives au, PTSD, good parent YZY, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Canon-Typical Violence, Warning: JGS, Emotional Manipulation, Manipulation, Second Chances) chapter 29 for the screaming part and the cying is the next chapter
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2. Hi!! For this fic finder :
Its a fic i read long ago , wangxian was alr an established couple, It was after the canon series had ended i beleive and wwx has an identity crisis abt being mo xuanyu and theres a recurring theme of the burial mounds haunting him and it talks abt his ptsd (specifically I remember of cannibalism? The fic was maybe dead dove too..)
Wwx wld sleep walk aswell and during one of his sleepwalking episodes he didnt recognize the juniors and thought he was a teenager.
In the end i think he revists the burial mounds?
Thank you for the work you put in for the fandom!💗💗 @jnxi839
FOUND? Mud on Your Feet by AvoOwO (Not Rated, 59k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Nightmares, Sentient Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds, Possession, Panic Attacks, Night Terrors, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Sibling JC, Hurt WWX, Soft WangXian, Feels, Blood and Injury, Hallucinations, Delusions, JC Loves WWX, Insomnia, Good Sibling WWX, Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking, LWJ just wants to sleep with his husband, Protective JC, WWX Sees Dead People, LJY pulls through, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses, PTSD, Post-Canon, YLLZ WWX, resentful energy, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, WWX’s Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, WWX is tired, LWJ literally just wants to sleep with WWX again is that too much to ask for??, Soft JC, Yunmeng Siblings Feels)
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3. Please help find fic
Wei wuxian cursed to be close to Lan wanji and stops feeling pain. Open ending. Curse gets progressively worse as fic goes on. They have to stay at an inn during the fic because wei wuxian hurt his foot. @opalkittencat
FOUND? Tether by Annerb (M, 161k, WangXian, Cursed LWJ, Canon Divergence, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Family Feels, Yin Iron, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, aftermath of a war)
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4. hi!! i’m looking for a fic and it’s driving me crazy bc i’ve read it more then once. but it’s a modern au and it starts with llan zhan going on a random date and getting stood up. and wei ying pops up to sit with him and make him feel better since he’s alone. and immediate wangxian love ensues. and at one point point they overhear the guy talking and basically being like “haha that guys so boring i told u he would go out with me. i didn’t even show up.” or something like that. ofc that’s a complete paraphrase but that’s the general vibe of what the guy says . i don’t think the fic was very long. oh! lxc is also very protective in it but i can’t remember how. so sorry this is so vague i rly cant remember more of it. hoping anyone could help 😖 but totally understand if this is not enough info to find it. also tysm for all u do! this blog is so helpful!
FOUND! Blooming Days by Atsushiis (G, 7k, WangXian, LWJ & LXC, LWJ & MM, Modern, College/University, Meet-Cute, First Dates, First Kiss, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, LWJ Has Feelings, Let LWJ talk about his feelings agenda, Romance, Falling In Love, Wangxian are softer than a baby bunny, gratuitous handholding, Give LWJ hugs agenda, LWJ Protection Squad, Spanish Translation Available)
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5. so I remember this ff- it was on Wattpad (idk if y'all do Wattpad) if it was a sort of modern au with WWX as a teacher, one of his students have a crush on him, but he leaves and a sub (Lan Sizhui) is covering for him, I really remember that the class took a field trip to cloud recesses, where they found out about WWX and LWJ. Sorry if it was not so specific. and it is totes find if y'all cant find it, but the cover was sort of a Wangxian modern fanart, if that would help? @bitter-lemonzz
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6. I have been searching for the fic for so long but cannot find it. It was about Wei Wuxian accidentally being pushed into a pond by Lan Wangji and then it's angst. I think Madam Yu was a supportive figure for WWX in this fic. (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) @yilinglaobunny
FOUND! i won’t say i’m in love by kazzywx (E, 18k, WangXian, rape/non-con, A/B/O, Arranged Marriage, Miscommunication, Angst with a Happy Ending, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, skippable NSFW scenes, wwx’s is basically meg from hercules with his “i wont say im in love” shtick, Hurt WWX, Boypussy, WWX Has a Vulva, Intersex WWX, Dubious Consent, Feminization, Mating Bites, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Mpreg, WWX & WQ Friendship, WWX & WN Friendship, Possessive LWJ)
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7. Hey, someone told me that you could help me find this fic. It's a short story...might be a one shot where after the canon wwx sets wen ning up on various dates and at the end wen ning finds 'the one' that he tackles (if I'm not wrong) because of some misunderstanding. Also I think the final male character that wen ning shows interest in is from another famous fandom. It's all sweet and cute. Please if you know this story or can find this story, let me know...I've been searching for a long time. Thank you so much! You are doing an amazing job❤️ @madarmy
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8. Hi! I am looking for a specific canon au fic where soulmates are announced by an angry goose. Like, literally, when soulmates meet a goose pops up out of nowhere and heckles them until they recognize (? fall for?) each other. I think it was during the Cloud Recesses Lectures and Lan Qiren kept getting interrupted because geese kept popping up between the students. I remember honking geese breaking the quiet and calm of Cloud Recesses :D
FOUND? 🔒💖 No Matter What I Do I Feel The Pain (With or Without Goose) by Trickster_Angel (T, 3k, WangXian, Soulmates, The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement, Crack, Not tagging animal abuse but they have to fight off the geese, Not Serious, Humor, First Kiss)
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9.Hi! So, I've looking for this fic that take place when wei ying is in the burial mounds with the wens and decides to end his life, and wen ning is the one that tells lan zhan of it, and he has a panic attack? anxiety attack? and it leads to everyone helping the wens while they grief ... (sorry if there is misspelling, second language) @belenleal2111
FOUND? To Offer a Heart by WhiteCrane (M, 111k, WIP, wangxian, major character death, Sad WWX, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, soft wangxian, Cinnamon Roll WN, WWX Whump, WQ is a good sister, WN is a good brother, everybody loves wwx, yunmeng siblings, Triggers, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Taking care of WWX, Give WWX a break, Canon Divergence, Disturbing Themes, Changing Perspectives, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Grief/Mourning, Temporary Character Death, Getting Together, Redemption, Sibling Bonding, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brother-Sister Relationships, Parent-Child Relationship, Sad and Sweet, Tragedy, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF JYL, BAMF WQ, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Everyone Needs A Hug)
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10. hello! I hope you're doing well 🌷 I'm looking for a fic where female! WWX is getting married to the second son (Lan Zhan) of the esteemed Lan family who are well known tea merchants. Nie Huaisang is female too. Uncle Jiang arranges this marriage for Wei Ying. The fic starts with Uncle Jiang saying "Wei Ying, I accepted a marriage proposal for you you're getting married next month". Jiang Cheng keeps saying UNKIDNAPPABLE! because that's why the Lan Clan extended a marriage proposal to Wei Ying cos she's impossible to kidnap. WWX and LZ don't know each other prior to this. They have a summer wedding and the makeup auntie puts 3 layers of thick white face powder on WWX's face and tells her not to touch her face after which wei ying immediately feels the need to scratch her face off. Lan Zhans hand is a bit damp when he helps WWX into the palaquin cos it's hot as balls and he's sweating under 3 layers of robes. Wei Ying said she can't wait to become a dowager cos she'll get to wear clothes that are her style (darker). Someone tells wwx to not stand up too straight and she folds into an exaggerated slouch and then yelps and straightens up again when MianMian (her handmaid) slaps her butt. Sorry, that's all I remember! Thank you please help me find this 🙏🏼 @darkchocobun-blog
FOUND? a harmony between qin and se by Alaceron (E, 62k, WangXian, Gender Changes, Historical, Female WWX)
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11. Hi Mods! I am looking for a wangxian fic with these details:
-YilingWei Sect wangxian AU
-WWX takes MXY and his mom (Mo WeiYa) away from Mo manor to keep them safe but he has to go to Koi Tower for some reason about Meng Yao...
-Mo WeiYa imprints on JGY and makes WWX take him back too and treats him like a kid
-there was also a part where WWX said something about taking MXY under his wing and LWJ assumes he's gonna marry his mom and adopt MXY but ofc he was wrong
-JGY later becomes his deputy in his sect despite WWX trying to find a different one...yes JGY was corrupt before and WWX doesn't trust him.
-it was a multichap (I think) and complete (I think). Help?
FOUND!🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect)
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12. This is an odd ficfinder request, but I remember there was a VERY long fanfic I read a while ago on AO3 where the author gave the Meishan Yu a motto that went something like "We remember what is owed." I thought it was "Things to do with Flute During Wartime" but I can't find it in there. Anyone have any ideas? Thank you for ALL you do, mods! <3 <3 <3 @kimboo-york
FOUND! could be any of a few by stratisphyre but is likely the exploration of a courageous heart (all this unexpected glory) by Stratisphyre (T, 54k, JYL/LXC/NMJ, Canon Divergence, Not Everybody Dies, (but some canonical character deaths), Childhood Sweethearts, Arranged Marriage, Threesome - F/M/M, Kidfic, Hurt/Comfort, JYL Best Jiejie, Friends to Lovers, Sibling Feelings, Not JFM friendly, Enormous Amounts of Head Canon, Multiple Pov, Canon Typical Violence, Implied Past Abuse)
NOT FOUND! the other long stratisphyre fic with that Meishan Yu motto as a line in the fic is in stillness, clear water to the bottom by Stratisphyre (T, 40k, CSSR/WCZ/LQR, LQR & Madam Lan, LQR & WWX, Sect Leader Nie/NHS's Mother/NMJ's Mother, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Threesome - M/M/F, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Everyone lives, (mostly), (not you QHJ), Family feelings, Madam Lan lives, references to past rape)
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13. trying to find a specific fic! it's a modern au roommates-to-lovers. the most specific thing I can remember is that Jin Zixuan is the one who asks Lan Wangji to let Wei Wuxian stay in his spare room. thanks in advance! @strinak
FOUND? ❤️ the best of you by sysrae (E, 41k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, slightly undernegotiated kink, but in a very soft and consensual way, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, JFM and Madam Yu’s A+ parenting, Dysfunctional Family, Mental Health Issues therapy is good actually, the most tender of railings, Reference to animal attacks/animal cruelty, descriptions of past violence)
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14. Hi! In 2021 (approx) I read a fanfic where Lan zhan tries to save, (through a simulation that has Wei Ying's soul) wwx but always fails in the attempt, it is not until Wei Ying becomes aware of this and both confess to each other, that they manage to save everyone and wangxian stay together until old age and the time of his death as companions. However, this occurs within a simulation and wangxian says goodbye. The fic ends with Lan zhan leaving his seclusion but with his mind at peace knowing that he had a chance to be at peace and happy with his love and is ready to raise a-yuan.
I remember reading this on Wattpad and in Spanish. But I always wondered if it was on ao3 and it was actually a translation. Please, if you have any information I would be happy to read you. Saludos
Pd: Sorry for Google traslate
Enviar comentarios @ppninonom
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15. Hi. I saw this ao3 fic on twitter but it refreshed before I could save, I only remember a few tags it was a wangxian case fic where they look after three ghost children, I guess it was The Untamed post canon fic. Can you help? Thank you.
FOUND? a home carved of love by omegawangji (T, 12k, WangXian, Case Fic, Post-Canon, Child Abandonment, Past Child Abuse, Accidental Baby Acquisition, wangxian adopt ghost (corpse?) babies, Soft WangXian, Family Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Pining LWJ, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Found Family, Getting Together, First Kiss)
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16. For fic finder: Hello! I am looking for a canon-au fic where Wei Wuxian was able to use demonic cultivation to create shadow copies of himself, kind of like Naruto shadow clones. He used this to fight in the Sunshot Campaign and there was a cool scene where he took down a Wen supervisory office all by himself by having a ton of hims fight each Wen soldier. There was also a scene where he dueled with Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng had to cut down all of the clones before finding the real Wei Wuxian. I think this technique caused his soul to shatter after death, but I could be wrong/confusing multiple fics. Thank you for your help!
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17. Fic finder request plz!! It’s a fem Wangxian in an omegaverse setting where Alpha NMJ has Alpha LWJ visiting and they invite WWX over. I remember at the end, LWJ came into the kitchen to get fancy water for WWX and wanted to know what snacks she liked. I can’t remember anything else. 😭😭😭
FOUND? good friends by plonk (Not Rated, 11k, NMJ/WWX/LWJ, WangXian, Modern, Gender Changes, A/B/O)
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18. Hi!! It's my first time asking here!! I've been trying to find a fic where wwx makes the cultivation world forget abt the wens and him, and by consequence the baby lwj is pregnant with!! I will be so grateful if u guys could help me find it!!
FOUND! could be this threadfic (locked to followers)
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19. Hi, there's this one canon divergence fic I read where WWX inevitably becomes part of the Burial Mounds and has become pretty vampire-adjacent and he thinks of himself as a monster. When LWJ finds out, there are multiple times in the story where he cuts his hand/arm and pours the blood in a bowl so WWX could "eat."
At some point in the story it's revealed that WWX was transported to Diyu before he died and yeah. At Wangxian's wedding he invites the overlord(?) of Diyu and even tho he didn't go, he was amused by the invitation and sent someone else to be there for him LMAO 😭😭
Can you please help me find this fic? I also highly rec it! Thank you!
FOUND!🔒A Heart Undying by NonsensicalRambling (M, 114k, WangXian, Undead WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical dead things the burial mounds, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, No Yīn Tiger Seal, Morally Gray WWX, Animals Eating People, WWX's questionable choices, Morally conflicted LWJ, Oblivious WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei, YLLZ WWX, Sect Leader WWX, LWJ & WQ have an Understanding)
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20. fic finder req: a really sad post canon fic. it's a hurt/no comfort sick fic, where lwj falls ill with what eventually turns out to be a terminal illness (maybe a blood curse of some sort?). I think lwj falls unconscious at some pt, and they use the incense burner to spend lwj's last moments tgt with family and wwx. wx tries and fails to find a cure for it, and only succeeds many years after lwj dies, working closely w the gusu healers. the fic ends with them meeting in the afterlife, where lwj has been waiting for wwx. I've tried all the tags I could think of, but it's lost among my countless bookmarks... i haven't been able to find it and I'm worried it's been taken down. please help!
FOUND! I will be gone by seachronicles (M, 28k, WangXian, Angst, Sickfic, Hurt LWJ, Hurt WWX, Sick LWJ, LWJ Whump, WWX Whump, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, but a lot of hurt, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Reincarnation, POV LWJ, POV WWX, Sad WWX, Sad LWJ, Married WangXian, Major Illness, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, but very briefly)
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choccy-milky · 13 days
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A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.
Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.
If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.
OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭
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@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot
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brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like
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its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖
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@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖
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THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)
youtube
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b00tyliciousbabe · 7 months
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treat.
soft dom bf x male reader
summary: icl this is just one of my many headcannons - don’t judge.
notes: first post of ‘24. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY LOVELIES! you all hold a special place in my heart, and i hope y’all enjoy xoxo stay blessed <3 it’s a day late but life has rly been lifing…
song rec: ‘TANTRUM!’ - destin conrad
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slivers of sunlight pierced through the bedroom curtains. despite the warm rays, it was still a chill morning in feb; you were always cold and so your boyfriend’s insane body heat created such a balance in the bedroom. you woke up, smiling in his embrace, your hand on his bare chest as he lightly snored. you began to trace your fingers on his pecs, which woke him up. ‘hmm,’ your bf groaned ‘happy v day baby boy.’ he said to you, tightening his grip. he kissed your forehead as you sighed ‘happy valentine’s bubs.’ you made out with him so hard, it was pretty early but somehow you woke that man right up. it was surprisingly sloppy, and as you broke away, your bf panted heavily in lust. “imma get started us something to eat, don’t miss me too much.” you said, but before you could get up, he dragged you back in. ‘nah, nah, babe, get back here,’ as he gestured to his wood. ‘you got me all excited.’ you both giggled like school kids. you stared seductively, smirking at his agape mouth, salivating with lust, ‘and i should care because…’ your sarcasm never fazed your man because he always knew how to deal with your brattiness.
‘you’re such a fucking tease, you know that,’ he smiled grabbing your hand to cradle his package with him. ‘acting like you don’t want it.’ your heart began palpitating, he knew how to make you such a subby mess with his hunter eyes. ‘acting like your hand can do better than my mouth’ you snapped back at him, moving out of your trance. ‘touché,’ he responded. ‘y/n, are you really gonna make me ask?’ he groaned out of sleep, as you playfully messed with his hair. you licked your lips. ‘please baby…’ he pouted, pulling on your heart strings. ‘since when did i become the dom?’ you joke making yourself cackle, to which you silenced yourself seeing your bf’s hardened face with cocked eyebrows. you probably shouldn’t have said that. ‘oh please, you know that i can and will destroy you’ he boasted rightly. ‘i just think it’s funny seeing your cute ass try.’ you knew he wasn’t wrong; his biceps alone would always accidentally crush you into the bed whenever y’all were in prone bone. ‘jokes aside, you got work to do’ he whispered into your ear as he kissed your cheek. you loved when he took control in the bedroom, never more so when you gave him head.
‘damn, i will never get tired of those lips on my tip.’ he growled, as you removed his drawers, and kitten licked the slit of his cock head. your boyfriend propped his neck up with some pillows as he put his hands behind his head, ready to enjoy the show. you started massaging his balls as his thumb grazed your cheek. ‘such a good boy,’ he praised. you tasted the saltiness of his skin, a mix of his precum and your spit. his thick mast was quite an effort to get into your mouth. you came up for air, staring at your work, ‘i always underestimate how chunky you are.’ you confessed. you licked the protruding vein that ran all the way down to his pubes. you attempted to deepthroat him, you got 5 inches down with ease, but the remaining 3 proved difficult.
you kept persevering, eyes teary, mouth out stretched. you came up after slightly gagging, causing what felt like buckets of drool to congeal on his pubes. it was a hot mess, a mess that lowkey turned him on. ‘my greedy, little cocksucker,’ he consoled you in a taunting tone, ‘take your time, i ain’t going nowhere.’ cradling your head as you attempted once more. you weren’t nearly as experienced as your man, but he made sure to guide you every step of the way. ‘that’s my boy,’ he praises, watching you devour his dick inch by inch. you lit up, emboldened to take all of him. ‘fuuuuuuuck,’ your boyfriend groaned in ecstasy as his tip hit the back of your throat. you groaned at the base of his pole, vibrating your tongue on the underside of his schlong.
his profanity flipped a switch in you. you began making loud suction noises, using your hands to create a vacuum. your movements rivalled that of a sex machine. his quads involuntarily spasmed as he, not even a minute later, began thrusting upwards into your mouth, groaning incoherently. he erupted so heavily, painting his lower abdomen and your entire throat a milky white. ‘shit babe, where’d you learn to do that?’ he questioned gasping for air. ‘i mean, you practically tease how much of a virgin i am, gotta switch things up from time to time.’ your face saddened. your boyfriend sat up and pulled u closer to him. ‘y/n, i’m sorry for making fun of you,’ he stares adoringly, ashamed he made you feel small. ‘truth is, i love the fact i can take my time with you, and not have to worry about you losing interest.’ he starts to vent, a lil teary, but he doesn’t let you see. ‘oh no, don’t cry my love, you know i always cry too.’ you both chuckled as your own vision blurred with the welling of tears. ‘fucking hell y/n. why are we crying on what’s supposed to be the most romantic day of the year.’ he stared into your eyes. ‘i promise to hold and cherish you til the day i die, you’re mine baby.
the two of you sat there, enjoying the silence and staring at each other. ‘i know and i love you too, i just don’t want you to feel like you always gotta coddle me when we have sex.’ you sheepishly admitted. your man was completely shocked. ‘are you kidding rn? i do NOT coddle you AT ALL.’ he replied. ‘so why do you always make us take breaks, if not to get me relaxed?’ your bf scratched the back of his head embarrassed. ‘erm, that’s more for me than you.’ you looked up at him confused. ‘i don’t know what’s wrong with me, in all my other relationships, i could last for hours, but the minute i’m even inside you, i just bust immediately, and something just comes over me.’ you blushed, ‘well…let’s put that to the test shall we?’ you muttered pulling him in for a deep kiss. he removed your linen trousers and the crop top you were wearing. as the two of you were now naked, he spread your legs and grabbed lube from the bedside table. smearing it on his dick, your puckering hole and fingering you with three digits to get rid of the excess. looking in awe at how shiny his big dick was, you started salivating. ‘that amount of precum is insane,’ watching as he made pools of release on your stomach. ‘shit, sorry for the mess,’ he smirked like an artist at work. ‘but i will admit, seeing that much cum on your belly makes me wanna put a baby in you.’
‘AHHH!’ you gasped loudly, as he pushed his entire length into you with no warning ‘why tf would you do that?’ playfully slapping his chest. ‘couldn’t wait.’ he starkly claims, thrusting slow and deep. you began milking his cock, clenching your walls around him as he attempted to pull out. ‘damnnnnn, fuuuhck, right there’ you moaned, egging him on to pick up the pace. his low-hanging, hairy, big, cum-filled balls, slapped loudly at your entrance. writhing beneath him, your lover turned animalistic, ‘you like that huh,’ to which you were to cockdrunk to respond, all you could do was not emphatically. ‘TAKE IT. TAKE THAT BIG DICK.’ you pulled him in closer, raking your nails on his back as he bit into your collarbone. ‘I don’t, don’t, know, h-how l-long i can keep gooooing, FUCK.’ you screamed, as he relentlessly pounded your poor hole with no regard for your ability to walk after. ‘me too baby, cum with me, cum for me.’ he demanded, moaning into your kiss. you came, emboldened by the pressure of your boyfriend’s abs, all over your chest. he followed soon after, staying still for what felt like ages, as if he was knotted to you.
he went soft. ‘and that’s what happens.’ he snuggled up to you as he plugged your ass with his fingers, to save some kind for round two.
@gayaristocrat
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tallyica · 24 days
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ok i have such a good request for you ml
i’m thinking maybe teenage james and he’s not very popular at school so sorta gets made fun of and reader is like a really popular girl on cheer and stuff so obviously she’s dating a jock and he james secretly likes her or something. Anyway i thought maybe reader and her jerk bf breakup ON prom night and James sees when he’s standing near the snack table and he really wants to do something and nervously asks her to be his prom date (even though they’re already there, idk)
i have faith in you wowza (please ignore how disgustingly horrid i wrote that out)
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hihi!
maya omg ily sm this is sooooooo good you're so getting it tonight
also this pic gives off a lot of teen vibes so I thought it was rly cute and fitiing
uhhh idk what to make the readers name so its just ___
word count: 5,446
warnings: extremely toxic/abusive relationship, people get slapped twice, swearing, fluff, fighting, angsty start, happy ending
OPPOSITES ATTRACT (1980)
It seemed like I had a picture-perfect high school life, I was popular, on the cheer team, I had straight A’s, and my boyfriend was a football jock, which was every girl's dream it seemed. People at school adored me, I had beauty and brains. Though, I couldn't shake the feeling of unfamiliar eyes on me sometimes, watching me, but not in a creepy way.
The last few days have been full of excitement, as tomorrow was finally prom night, everyone had their prom dates, dresses, or suits, all of us ready for the festivities tomorrow night would bring. I was walking down the hall with my best friend Tammy, we had known each other for years and did cheer together. We were giggling and chatting when I heard a familiar voice, mixed with others and cruel laughter. It was none other than my boyfriend Darren. Tammy gave me a glance of confusion, and I just told her to shoo and let me deal with this, and she did, walking away. I quickly looked to see who he and his asshole friends were laughing at, and I saw a boy sitting on the floor, his long, curly blonde hair draping over his back and shoulders, a hurt expression on his face, watching as Darren went on to laugh and ridicule him before kicking him. I was not pleased with the sight, and I quickly approached the situation.
The boy was familiar, a past player of the football team. I didn't know his name, but I had seen him around school a lot, we had some classes together. I walked over to Darren, pushing him away from the group and the other on the floor, “What the hell are you doing?!” I asked, worried about the state of the familiar yet unknown man, searching Darren's face for any signs of regret.
“I'm putting that loser in his place, don't tell me you think he's more than that, he quit the team!” Darren yelled back at me, trying to convince me to forget about this.
I shook my head, “That doesn't mean you have to be a jerk to him!” I responded back, going to help the blonde boy off the floor, offering my hand, and he took it as he stood up.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you? If he did I'm-” I was quickly cut off by him.
“No, I'm fine, thank you..” He responded quickly, brushing off his well-worn jeans as I scanned over his face.
“Are you sure? I'm so sorry, Darren can be a real jerk sometimes.” I added, still watching him as his eyes finally met mine. This time, they felt familiar, though in an unfamiliar way. Could he have been the one watching me?
He nodded, “Yeah, I'm fine, I promise,” He smiled at me slightly, which made me feel a little bit better. “I'm James, by the way.” James introduced himself to me.
I nodded with a small smile, “I'm ___. It's nice to meet you, James.”
Of course, I couldn't get even a simple conversation in without Darren pulling me away, grabbing me by my arm, and dragging me away like a child. I looked back at James, giving him a small wave and he did as well.
Once Darren pulled us away from the crowd and around the corner, he quickly shoved me against a locker, holding me by my shoulders.
“You think you can just talk to other guys like that? Especially shitheads like him?” He scolded me through gritted teeth.
I always hated it when he got like this, it scared me so much. “No, no, I- I'm sorry, I won't do it again,” I barely mumbled in my shaky tone.
He slapped me across the face, causing me to wince in pain and cover the impacted area, the sting growing with each second, and I could feel tears pricking my eyes.
“You better keep that promise, or else you'll be bruised way worse next time.” He threatened, pushing me back against the locker again before storming off, leaving me there as I began to cry, my mascara starting to run as I quickly headed to the bathrooms so I could hide. No one could see me, not like this. I'm considered the queen of the school, and the queen doesn't cry, right?
I quickly scurried into a stall, locking the door as I heard other students enter the bathroom. I quickly grabbed toilet paper to wipe my eyes, trying to clean up the mess I had become, trying to stop the tears that just kept coming. I covered my mouth, hearing the mumbled words of the other girls in the bathroom, waiting for them to finally leave to clean myself up.
I didn't want to go to prom anymore, not with Darren. I thought back to James, he seemed so sweet, and he was cute too. But unless I wanted to be hurt again, I wouldn't be able to speak with him, which disappointed me slightly, as he seemed like a nice guy.
As I heard the girls leave the bathroom, I quickly came out of the stall, looking at my messy face in the mirror, using water to rinse off my eyes and remove the mascara stains. I could also notice the growing red mark on my cheek, making me frown that it would be obvious, and possibly even appear tomorrow night.
Luckily, I probably wouldn't have to see any more of Darren until cheer practice, since he leaves campus for lunch. He normally watches me at practice, or at least I think he's watching me. I finished cleaning myself up, walking out of the bathroom as I wiped the last of my tears away, and headed to the cafeteria to get my lunch, which was a plain, boring salad, a diet suggested by my coach, and one forced by Darren. I don't even know what he sees in me, or what I see in him, but love is a crazy thing I guess.
I grabbed my tray, heading towards the salad bar, grabbing a paper bowl, and scooping some lettuce and tomatoes into it, garnishing it with minimal sauce and other salad additions before looking for somewhere to sit. I normally sat with my friends, and the rest of the cheer squad, searching for Tammy, but I couldn't notice or see her, but I did notice a familiar face sitting at a table, alone in the corner.
It was James. Darren wasn't here, so maybe I could go sit with him and talk, he looked really lonely, though he was always shy anyway. I headed in the direction of his table, all the way in the back, pushed into a corner. 
I approached him, “Mind if I sit with you?” I asked James, who didn't notice me approaching, though he nodded.
“Uh, no, go ahead.” He responded, his voice soft and shy.
James watched as I sat in front of him, picking and mixing my salad before he spoke again.
“That guy, Darren, he didn't seem too happy about you talking to me,” He began, his voice still soft as he spoke.
I shrugged, “Oh, my boyfriend Darren, he's a bit.. Sensitive, I guess. But love works in odd ways, y’know?” I said to assure him, but it seemed it was more to assure myself instead.
James' face changed, maybe disappointment, “Darren is your boyfriend?”
I nodded as I continued to eat, “Yeah, we’ve been together for a couple of months. Do you know him?”
James shrugged with a nod, “Yeah, I was on the football team with him.”
I glanced up at James, “He said you quit the team, why was that?”
“Coach told me to cut my hair or quit the team. I didn't have much choice.” He answered with a small chuckle.
I smiled at his answer, finishing my small salad as James continued to eat his own lunch.
“Are you looking forward to prom tomorrow?” I asked James, expecting a ‘yes’ as it seemed everyone was, but with him, I don't think prom is his biggest dream at the moment.
James just shrugged, “I guess, I wasn't really planning on going, but my friend Ron is, so I'll just go to hang out with him.” He answered, though his voice did not convey a single bit of excitement.
I just nodded, “It'll be fun.” I added, getting up to put my lunch tray away, feeling James' eyes on me as I walked away. After a minute I returned, going back and sitting in front of him, looking to the side briefly, making the faint red handprint on my cheek obvious, and James watchful eyes definitely noticed.
“Hey, what's that on your cheek? Did someone hit you?” James asked, his voice worried.
I felt my stomach drop, quickly covering it up with my hand and shaking my head, “No, no, I just uh.. Fell, earlier.” I muttered quickly, my words obviously untruthful.
James clearly didn't buy it, sitting up straighter and reaching out to moe my hand, his touch gentle and caring.
“You don't get a handprint on your face from falling. Who hit you?” James carefully moved my hand away, gently caressing the slap mark, making me bite back a wince of pain.
“No one, James. I'm fine, it's nothing.” I kept denying the truth.
Even with my continued responses, James wouldn't let up. “___. No one just ends up with a red print on their face, someone hurt you. Who.” This time he demanded that I tell him, but if I did, things would be a lot worse for me, and I didn't want James to get hurt by Darren again.
I shook my head, “James, just drop it.” I sighed, and he slowly pulled his hand away, backing down to where he sat.
“Fine.” He mumbled, letting it go for now, but I could see him continue to think about it.
It was silent between us for a while, until the bell rang and we gave each other a look of goodbye, walking off to our separate classes.
LATER THAT DAY
School had finished for the day, and now I was at cheer practice. The whole day Darren was gone, a bit of a blessing for me, but I also noticed that Tammy was gone too. She probably just didn't feel well and left early, and Darren probably had a party with his friends.
I walked towards the gym where we normally practiced, expecting to see Darren in the bleachers and some of the other girls' boyfriends or siblings.
I entered the gym, hearing the squeak of sneakers on the wooden floor, noticing I was 4 minutes late. I sighed, setting my bag down as I joined the rest of the group, looking for Tammy, but I couldn't see her. Maybe she was just in the bathroom or something, so I walked up to Ashley.
“Ashley, have you seen Tammy?” I asked her, almost worried about my friend's absence.
She just shook her head, “No, not since our last class together. Why?”
I shrugged, “Nothing, thanks.”
I walked away, looking at the bleachers to also see that Darren wasn't there either. It had to be a coincidence, right?
Tammy wouldn't do that to me, we had been friends since middle school. I was probably just overthinking everything. The prom was tomorrow, and that should be what I'm focused on.
Until my coach snapped me out of my haze, grabbing my attention back to practice.
THE NEXT DAY
I awoke with a groan, stirring in my lonesome bed as my alarm clock rang. I slowly sat up, turning off the blaring machine. I sighed, the events of yesterday playing over in my mind, getting up and walking towards the full body mirror in my room, seeing that the mark Darren left had grown to a darker bruise, the faint and warped shape of his hand more obvious. I felt a sadness in my whole body, today was prom, and I'd be a mess all because of him. I looked to my prom dress I was so excited to wear, hanging on a rack, the slightly poofy, flowy baby blue dress, so beautiful, would now never be brought to its full prom night potential. I had spent months working up the money to finally get it, not to mention to heels I would be wearing with it.
I quickly got ready for school, wearing a denim skirt with a light pink sweater, quickly doing my hair, keeping it down, and working on my makeup before I could put on my shoes and head out for school.
As I drove to school, I couldn't help but wonder why Darren and Tammy were absent from cheer and lunch. Darren normally was gone during lunch, but Tammy was normally always there, sitting at the cheer table waiting for me.
And she had never missed one cheer practice, ever. This wasn't like her, but maybe she just felt sick and left early. Eventually, I shook the thoughts out of my head, my mind wandering somewhere more pleasant, James. He was so shy and sweet, though a complete opposite of me.
A guitar-playing metal head in a band, his beautiful long hair almost like a lion's mane, I couldn't help but feel a little attracted to him, even if I was in a relationship with Darren. I hadn't known James long, but he feels closer than that.
After a few more minutes of driving, I arrived at school, parking my car, and walking into the building, firstly headed to my locker, where I saw Darren hanging nearby, seeing him talk to a friend of his as I walked up to him.
“Hey, ‘you excited for prom? We're still going together, right?” I asked with a smile on my face as he broke away from his conversation, shooting me an annoyed glare.
“God, just leave me be, ____. I don't needa hear you bitch to me.” He replied coldly, ignoring my questions.
My smile quickly dropped, sighing and walking away with a frown, heading back towards my locker to grab my stuff, not paying much attention to my surroundings, my shoulder bumped into someone's arm snapping me out of my sad haze. 
“Sorry, I didn-” I glanced up at the person, realizing it was James.
He quickly noticed the bruise on my face, his face changing with worry, “What happened? I want an answer this time. You don't just get a bruise like that from nothing.” James more so demanded rather than asked.
I sighed, shaking my head, “I really shouldn't be talking with you right now,” I muttered, trying to walk away quickly, leaving him hurt and confused as he followed after me, grabbing my arm.
“Hey, where are you going? Why can't you talk to me?”
I grunted, trying to get out of his hold, Darren's threat replaying in my mind. I didn't want to get hurt further, and I really didn't want James to get dragged into this and hurt as well.
“James, I can't talk to you. Leave me alone!” I grumbled, and he let go of my arm, a look of hurt and sadness on his face as he watched me walk away from him. I felt horrible for treating him like that, but I couldn't put either of us at risk.
Even after I stormed off, I could still feel his eyes on my back, heading towards class. It was like he was glued to me, unable to remove himself until I got too far into the crowd where he could no longer see me.
School was slow that day, though the classes and students buzzed with excitement over prom, smiles, and laughs with last-minute prom-posals, though I couldn't get myself to feel excited over the eventful night.
Eventually, it had reached our lunch hour, everyone heading to the cafeteria, seeing the cheer table, where Tammy actually was, and I also saw James, alone again, in the corner.
I had to talk to Tammy for a minute, even though I would've almost preferred to be with James. He looked disappointed, sad in a way, and I knew I was part of it.
I sighed, grabbing my lunch and scurrying towards Tammy and the table of other cheer members, sitting down next to her.
“Where were you yesterday? You were gone all day basically and didn't make it to cheer.” I asked, slightly worried but confused.
She just shrugged it off, “Oh, I just didn't really feel like going. I had other things and people I wanted to do instead.”
Her voice had an undertone to it, I couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly, but it was not good. She sounded snarky, and when she said ‘people she wanted to do’ I could tell something was off. I gave her an odd look, eyeing her before something caught my eye.
Hickies, on her neck. It wasn't something usual, she didn't have a boyfriend or crush or something, or at least not one that was known. She gave me a small smirk, noticing my staring.
“What? Is something wrong?” She teased rather than asked, and now everything clicked.
Why Darren was gone all day, why she was gone all day, why Darren disregarded the prom thing, why she is acting so strange.
It seemed that my world crumbled around me, my once perfect social life, shattered in just a day.
I quickly got up, not thinking to grab my food, I had lost any appetite I once had, storming towards the back of the cafeteria. I needed someone to talk to, but there was no one I could air something like this out to. I wasn't thinking much, quickly leaving through the back, but I could feel familiar eyes on me as my own welled up with tears.
James.
I ignored the feeling, running out to the empty hall and outside the school, tears streaming down my face as I wandered towards the empty school courtyard, sitting in the grass as my emotions crashed down on me, everything coming loose in my head, though clicking.
Darren had always been an asshole to me, sure, there were the good moments, but I never felt truly happy with him because he never seemed that happy with me. I loved him, so much, but all that love was now thrown away for my own best friend. He doesn't even know that I know, but I doubt he could care.
I tried wiping my tears off of my face, staining my sleeves black with runny mascara as I heard footsteps approach, glancing up, my puffy eyes meeting James.
He slowed as he came closer, sighing. “I know you want me to leave you alone, but..” He trailed off, watching me as I sniffled, shaking my head.
“No, I don't want you to leave me alone,” I mumbled, and he came closer and sat next to me. 
I looked at him as I sighed, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it, I didn't mean it.”
He shrugged, “Why would you not mean it? I'm a fuckin’ loser and you're, well, you.”
We sat in silence together for a moment, and I sniffled again as I tried to stop my tears.
“What's wrong? Or do you not wanna tell me.” He asked, and I had to tell someone, I had to tell him.
I began to cry more as I explained what happened, Darren hitting me for talking to James, the threats he made, getting cheated on with my best friends, all the toxicity of my relationship with him finally coming to light as I leaned against James, and he held me, gently wrapping his arms around me as I sobbed into his shoulder, hearing every word, cry, and sound I made, careful to listen to me in a time of hurt.
The story seemed to make James upset that that had happened to me, but it also seemed to fuel a fire in him. For the short time he'd known me personally, he seemed to care a lot already.
I eventually stopped mumbling the story as I kept crying, his worn band shirt soaked with my tears as he gently rubbed my side with his hand, his touch making me feel warm, something that Darren never could do.
“Shhhh, you'll be okay, I'm here, alright?” He said to me in a soft voice, trying to comfort me as I kept crying against him.
“You don't need that asshole, you can do so much better than him. And if she was really your friend, she wouldn't have done something so shitty like that.” He kept comforting me, the soothing motions of his hands helping me reach a calm after a good couple more minutes of crying into him, my sobs slowly stopping as I just sat there with him, in his arms.
After a few more minutes of silence, just us together, James spoke up again, “You alright?”
I just shrugged, “I don't know.. Everything just.. Crashing down around me.” I mumbled, snuggling in closer to him, my hand on his shoulder/neck area as I moved my face from his shoulder, laying the side of my face there as I looked up at him, my puffy red eyes, tear-stained and mascara-ruined face, his eyes meeting mine.
We stayed like this for a few moments, our eyes breaking contact for a moment before he spoke up again, “Class is gonna start in a few minutes. Let's go to my car and I can get you cleaned up, alright?”
I nodded, and we got up and walked together to his beat-up truck, grabbing some tissues and an old bottle of water. I sat on the edge of the truck bed, James coming up to me and dampening the tissues with water, wiping my face clean of the stains, his touch gentle and caring, my cheeks heating up slightly.
LATER THAT AFTERNOON
School was done for the day, and now I was at home, hastily getting ready for prom.
I curled my hair, making sure I looked as beautiful as possible. I did my makeup, nothing too over the top, though I was careful to night use mascara, feeling that I would probably end things with Darren tonight.
I slipped on my beautiful dress, one that hugged my features well, the poofy skirt of it flowing amazingly, and I had never felt more pretty as I slipped on my heels, admiring my glam self in the mirror with a small smile. I had never felt so gorgeous as I walked to my car, and drove back down to the school.
Darren was supposed to be my prom date, and I'm guessing he still is unless he's changing his mind and going with Tammy. I tried to ignore the thoughts, hoping that James would be there if anything went wrong.
Something about him made everything feel… right, in a way. He made me happy, even though we'd only been friends for two days.
Eventually, I arrived at the school, the parking lot packed, trying to secure a spot so I could get in without being too late.
Soon enough I found a parking space, getting out of the car and sighing, beginning to walk towards the school and into the gymnasium which had become a makeshift banquet hall, a messy, rushed dance floor in the center, loud music, balloons, streamers, lights, the full nine yards. Couples danced together, some getting too touchy, friends laughed and talked, and then it caught my eye.
Darren and Tammy. Together. Again. Except this time, they looked like they were practically making out, hands dragging across each other, lips locked as she squealed in excitement and pleasure. 
I felt something in me snap, anger. I stormed towards the two, pushing Darren off of her, making him look pissed, “The fuck is your problem?” He sneered at me, pushing me back. The interaction garnered some attention from other attendees as I was pushed back by Darren.
“My problem is you're making out with my best friend!” I yelled back at him, more people watching by the second.
Darren just rolled his eyes as Tammy stayed silent, “You're just a basic whore, there's nothing to you.”
That hurt, deeply, but it only fueled my rage as I let out an annoyed grunt, my anger showing as I slapped my past friend hard across the face. She winced in pain, touching the stinging mark.
He was now beyond pissed with me, and I was even more pissed with him.
“You're a loser! I'm done with you! You think that you're all this and that because you're some fucking dumb jock, but you are just a loser!” I nearly screamed at him, feeling someone tug on my arm and pull me away, saving the three of us from experiencing a rough beating from each other.
I turned back to see who was dragging me away, and it was James. I was annoyed at first, needing to get some final words in, though I couldn't stay frustrated with him for too long, he was just doing me a favor. After we walked toward the back of the gym, he let go of me.
“You should go fix yourself up quickly. Not that you look bad, you look really pretty, but-” He paused himself, taking a breath. I nodded, walking out and into a nearby bathroom, adjusting my slightly tussled dress and fixing my hair.
I didn't look too messy, even after the mini tussle with my now ex-boyfriend. I just had to fix a few things, and I'd look as good as new, and now I do.
I took another breath, walking back into the gym, slightly sad, now alone. I couldn't see James, and I could see Darren and Tammy in a corner. The last two people I wanna be around right now. All of my other friends were messed about with their boyfriends or crushes, flirting with them.
Then it began. The slow dancing. The notes of a slow, soft love song stung my ears, and the sight of all the lovey-dovey couples who couldn't get enough of each other made me sick. I was always a sucker for romance, but I guess when you have no one to share it with, it just seems yucky.
I sighed, watching them all dance slowly with each other, debating if I should just leave or not, I had nothing to do here other than just stand in the middle of the floor, feeling jealous of truly in love couples.
I evaded my eyes from the sight, looking down at the floor, until I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder, turning my head to see who it was.
A shy, nervous blonde boy stood beside me, his long curly hair hiding his face somewhat as he held the back of his neck with a hand, “Do you uh.. Wanna be my prom date..?” James asked me softly, his eyes not meeting mine out of embarrassment and nervousness.
I smiled lightly, nodding, “Mhm, yeah. That'd be nice.” I answered, my voice also soft as a small pink crept up on my cheeks.
He raised his head, a sheepish grin on his face as he placed his hands on my waist, and I placed mine on his shoulders as we began to slowly sway to the music, our eyes meeting with a sense of familiarity.
“I'm not much of a dancer, so… sorry,” He muttered with a small chuckle, and I just smiled in response.
“That's fine. You're doing great anyway,” I reassured him, and he smiled slightly wider.
I took him in with my eyes, admiring his fresh, orderly dark grey buttoned-up blazer with matching slacks, and his little blue tie the white undershirt, his whole suit was so fitting on him, he looked very handsome, very cute.
“You look, really, really pretty tonight, I know I kinda rambled it earlier, but-” He complimented me with a smile before I cut him off.
“Thank you, you look pretty handsome yourself,” I returned the compliment, smiling up at him still as we continued to dance slowly to the music, both of our cheeks having a hint of pink to them as we looked into each other's eyes, and for a second, everything felt right in the world. Even though I hadn't known James long, I felt closer to him than I do with some longtime friends.
After another minute of dancing with each other, the slow dance had ended, though we didn't leave each other. We stood with each other, sat with each other, and just talked about so many different things.
He told me about his band, how he played guitar and did some vocal work, and told me all about his favorite bands and musicians, and I just listened with a smile on my face. His voice was calming, and he was such a fun person. I admired him with my eyes, his beautiful features filling my senses. His icy blue eyes fit his features so well, accenting his angel-like hair, and I just wanted to stroke it, he was so beautiful and very caring.
We were in the middle of a conversation about one of his favorite bands, Motorhead.
“They're this like, super heavy rock band, and their front guy, Lemmy, is a total badass! I wanna reach his heights one day. Musics has always been there for me, y'know?” He explained to me, acting almost childlike with his excitement over the topic.
I nodded with a smile, “Mhm, they sound pretty cool. Maybe you can show me some of their music sometime.” I added, hoping he would say yes. I could care less about the music, but I'd love to spend more time with him.
He nodded with a wider grin, “Yeah! Sure, I'd love to show you some of their stuff,” he responded with excitement.
I smiled again, “Good, I like that.”
Another hour or so later, prom had ended, and people began to leave the gym, heading to their cars and leaving with their partners or friends. James walked away, looking for his friend Ron who was his ride to prom and supposed to be his ride home too.
James approached me again, slightly confused and nervous, “Uhm, my buddy, Ron, he was supposed to take me home but uh, I think he took his date home and forgot about me, you mind giving me a ride back to my place? It isn't that far,” James requested, and I couldn't say no.
I nodded, “Sure, I don't mind. You wanna go now?”
“Yeah, let's get out of here,” He responded, and we began to walk out together toward my car. I got in the driver's seat, James next to me in the passenger seat as we began to drive, James giving me directions to his home, the car ride was scattered with random conversations and rapidly switching topics. One minute were talking about class, then TV shows, movies, music, friends, stores, clothes, everything. 
After a good 10 minutes of random talking and directions given by James, we reach his home, my car slowing across the street from his home, giving him a glance, “The house across the street, right?” He nodded in response.
“Yeah, that's the one,” James answered, though he didn't leave the car yet. I watched him as he sat still for a second, his eyes looking down in thought before he glanced back up at me.
“I uh, I had a great time tonight, a lot better than I thought. Thank you for, well-” I cut him off, my wants giving in as I leaned in and gave him a quick, soft kiss on the lips, which surprised him, and also myself. I pulled back, staring at him to examine his reaction.
After he was silent for a couple of moments, I grew worried that maybe I did something wrong, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't-”
James just shook his head, “No, that was.. Good, I've wanted that for a while,” He answered with a small, loving smile on his face, I nodded.
“Good, I.. I liked that.” I admitted, glancing down as my cheeks heated up.
This time he leaned in, giving me another soft, gentle kiss. We pulled away after a few moments, both smiling softly and glancing at each other before James undid his seatbelt.
“Well, I should get going, I guess,” James informed with a small smile, getting up and out of the car.
“Bye, James,” I said with a smile, watching him walk away.
“Bye,” He answered with a smile as well, heading back to his home.
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next fic will be a Dave mechanix fic!!!!
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bangsinc · 1 year
Note
Can i request a spot x reader Who likes to draw him and lets him stay in their house.
Also you are life saver since you are the only one who is writing spot headcannons ♡
✏️Spot and an artist reader who lets him crash!(Hcs/Drabble)🗯️
I’m so sorry I couldn’t think of something silly for a title.. BUT TYSM FOR THE COMPLIMENT! I rly wanna give him love since nobody is rn! He’s so pookie
No warnings, just fluff. Mutual pining! Yay!
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For the majority of the past couple years, Spots been an outcast to society, someone who wouldn’t be welcome anymore no matter what he did or how he hid. A job, something that could have saved him, wasn’t feesable anymore, and he couldn’t find anyplace to live.. that is, until there was you.
You were a complete godsend to this.. creature. A place to stay was more than what he could ask for. He didn’t need to eat, or do much anymore, but he still wanted a sence of community.
He could never repay you, never. The only person that’s ever been kind to him is letting him stay for.. nothing in return. As a way to return the sentiment and ease the overbearing guilt he feels that someone (as amazing and beautiful as you) let him into their home with open arms, he steals things.
Expect little trinkets! Oh? You like video games? That’s crazy because he just came across this one copy of..
He doesn’t crash persay, he lives. He craves the affection and love, so it’s difficult for him to not spend every night in your home. It’s warm, cozy, and best of all you don’t seem to care for what he looks like.
And like.. yknow, maybe you guys cuddle sometimes.
As for your hobby of drawing him, he would consider it the highest honor. You see him as something worth replicating on pen and paper? You want to show it to others too?? Congratulations, you just earned yourself a free model.
Gushes over your work, maybe keeps some of it for himself. Oh, he’s crushing hard. Maybe he’ll even try to draw you! Don’t expect anything.. good though. He was a scientist! Not an artist! But.. it would mean a lot to him if you kept what he gave you. It’s the least you could do, make him a happy little guy.
He may not be expressive, but you can almost see the flattery oozing from him as he eyes your work with the upmost curiosity. You’re so talented!
Little Drabble!
The lights of your bedroom, dim and gentle, reflect upon his pale face. He looks around curiously, his expression as it usually is, unreadable. He looks at you for a moment, the hole on his face narrowing in almost panic.
“T—thanks for letting me stay agai—look, I can’t really repay you or-“ He mumbles, rocking back and fourth on his feet nervously.
Your expression wracked him. The kind, empathetic smile on your face didn’t wane once, even if you both knew there wasn’t any way he could pay you back. You stay quiet, mainly to find the right words to tell him. With every passing second, doubt knawed at him. This was too good to be true.. this was going to end sooner than he hoped. You were going to tell him to get ou—
“That’s okay, don’t worry about it.” You speak, your voice quiet as to not startle him further. The weight of your words pressed on his shoulders, making it difficult for him to catch his breath.
“Really?” He approaches you swiftly, a sence of hope painted his expression, the brush that was his feelings painting a portrait of never ending gratitude.
“Really.” You repeat his words, arms outstretched, your smile never once waning. He can feel his spotted emotions get the better of him and he’s quick to bring you into a hug, his face digging into the crook of your neck.
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ritsufeet · 1 year
Text
stay with me.
longing [ ft. m. kaiser ]
i don’t want u to leave… in which kaiser longs for you more than he thought he would.
k by cigarettes after sex heavily recommend to listen to while reading!!
all works from luvmouche & ritsufeet on tumblr.
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𒁷 sfw, (forced to) made for ivelle (@n6gi)
𒁷 cw// hurt comfort(?), kaiser is too busy for u (dickhead), but it gets better i think, mutual longing, kissing smooch smooch, umm idk what else, kaiser tw🤓, “m” is his nickname given by the reader, rly short fic btw, slightly ooc kaiser but yk what idc!
i made this for ivelle this is literally yhe only bllk fic ill ever make (maybe) also i dont even like kaiser (kurona bwtter) i originally made this in my notes app i had to decide whether or not i eveb wanted to post this on tumblrHelp
synopsis: michael kaiser is a cruel, busy man—yet he finds himself pining for your warmth more than he expected.
not proofread!!!
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kaiser, michael
your boyfriend, michael kaiser, who’s a famous, up and coming athlete, never has any time for you.
“i’m leaving, i have a meeting today.” he says, hurriedly pushing his shoes on with heavy sighs. you look at him and frown, “again? m, you never have any time for me anymore…”
“i know, but i’ll make it up to you, i promise. just not today, i’m busy.” he huffs, frowning right back at you, his blonde hair sways messily in front of his face and his fingers coming up to brush them up and out of the way again. you frown deepens and you sigh.
he looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “what? what’s wrong with you?” his question only makes you sadder.
“can’t you stay?”
“no, i can’t. you know this. i said i’d make it up to you, didn’t i? trust my word.” you know this, you already know… but you can’t help but already begin to miss him.
he’s often gone for long hours, sometimes it’s more than just hours. it’s hard loving him when he’s absent majority of the time, and when he’s not gone, he’s doing something else that doesn’t involve spending time with you. what could be so important, anyway? of course, you love him, you love his career and support him with everything you can, but he could at least love you a little back.
you slowly walk over to him when he’s finished putting on his shoes. he looks at you with soft eyes, a face that he doesn’t show often. vulnerability that doesn’t come easily to him, something he only shows to you. “i’m sorry,” he says, his hand cupping your cheek. you relish in his touch, leaning into his palm. “i really wish i could stay too. you know that as well as i do.” he caresses your cheek, sliding his thumb over your skin.
“i get it… you should go, you don’t want to be late, right?” you look at him giving a reassuring smile. “i’ll be here, like i always am.” his heart aches as those words leave you, and the urge washes over him. he brings himself to your lips and kisses you—sweet, quick, and loving. he lets himself linger there for as long as he needs to. he doesn’t want to be late, yet he finds himself not wanting to move a single inch away from you. he wants to stay, wants to be here with you and the comfort of your kisses.
you pull away instead, you put your hand right above his—the one caressing your cheek so gently and longingly that you fear that it’d break his heart if he tore it away—and squeeze it. his face is solemn, his gaze wavering. he’s staring at you, but he looks away, as if hesitant to say anything. then, he looks at you again, and purses his lips. “..i love you.” your reassuring smile turns into a genuine one. “i love you too, m.”
he pulls you into a hug, holding you longer than just a few seconds, and he can hear himself the moment he decided to just go ‘ah, fuck it.’ a barely audible chuckle comes from his voice leaving you wondering what’s so funny.
“on second thought, i don’t think they’ll mind if i miss a day or two.” he says, smiling.
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a/n: i hope ur happy ivelle. k bye im tired fuckkk
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slytherinshua · 3 months
Text
DATING LEEHAN AS SUNGHO'S YOUNGER SISTER !
genre. fluff. headcanons. warnings. this is kind of a mess and disorganized cause i was just writing whatever came to mind ++ most of this is pretty sungho focused im ngl?? cause i wanted to focus on the dynamics and how it would be different from just dating leehan headcanons... pairing. leehan x fem!reader (reader is sungho's younger sister). wc. 966. request. requested by anon: I was wondering if you could do headcanons of what it would be like to be sungho’s younger sibling & you’re dating leehan a/n. this idea is rly cute :( and i wanted to do it earlier i swear and we are gonna pretend like this request isn't literally a year old IM SORRY 😞 bye its literally from last july that's embarrassing 😭 BUT IM GETTING TO IT NOW <3
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dating leehan when you're sungho's younger sister would be nerve-wracking as hell at the beginning of the relationship, specifically when you need to break the news to sungho
and more-so for leehan because you honestly don't care if sungho doesn't like that you're dating his friends, but you are a bit worried that it'll be awkward at first
whereas leehan is scared shitless because what if sungho suddenly hates him for it???
but sungho barely even blinks when you announce that leehan is your boyfriend because he knew that you had a crush on his friend and he also knew even more that leehan secretly liked you
he wouldn't have ever pictured you two together at first but once he sees how happy you both are, he's totally supportive of the relationship <3
but he does threaten you to never break up with leehan cause he doesn't want it to be awkward between him and his friend lol
sungho isn't particularly overprotective as a brother unless he needs to be, and then he is very protective of you
you two both have a very playful and close relationship, and more often than not you're just in a constant competition of who can annoy the other the most
and when you start dating leehan, sungho gets a massive upper hand in this game
because he knows your boyfriend better than you do at first, especially when it comes to leehan's habits
because leehan always tries to act as charming as he can in front of you
i mean, he's a boy in love, so of course he's always trying to put his best self forward <3
but it becomes quite hard to do that when sungho starts to randomly drop pieces of info about him just to piss you off lmao
poor leehan is caught in the middle of you two bickering and praying that sungho doesn't expose any awful secret to you or something 😭
another thing that would cause some frustration is trying to have any private time with your boyfriend :(
like i said, sungho doesn't strike me as overprotective but he absolutely will randomly open your door when he knows leehan and you are hanging out solely with the purpose of teasing you
does he get a pillow thrown at his head for this? yes.
is it leehan or you who throws it? who knows...
he also loves to make overdramatic gagging noises and disgusted faces whenever you show even an ounce of pda
even if it’s just hugging, sungho will act like it's the most disgusting thing he's ever seen
kissing is a whole other level like he'll deadass tell you two to get a room 😭
leehan originally thought that sungho must know everything about you given that he's literally your brother
but he's extremely disappointed when he realizes that he far surpasses sungho in y/n-knowledge 
leehan picks up on everything about you to the point that sungho is the one asking him things 😭
because when your birthday comes around, leehan has a whole list of possible things to get you and do for you
and sungho doesn't even know what your current obsession is
but something that sungho finds really wholesome about your relationship with leehan from an older brother perspective is how you match his interests :(
you'll absolutely do anything with leehan and engage in all of his obsessions, just like he does with you
and sungho likes watching that happen cause he does truly adore both of you 
and he learns to adore both of you together more than separate
he hates when he has to be a bridge between you two whenever you get into an argument though
he'll have to hear both sides of it before deciding which side he's on
because while he'd love to pick your side every time and put family first, he knows that sometimes you get into stupid fights over nothing
and leehan is usually pretty reasonable
when it is actually leehan's fault, sungho is pissed though
and if leehan didn't already feel awful about fighting with you, he now has to hear sungho give him an earful on how he better not make you cry ever again 
basically when you are happy and leehan is happy, sungho is happy too
except when he's forced to be a third-wheel, then he's questioning why he ever allowed this relationship to exist
yk that question of like "if you had to introduce your sister to one of the members, who would it be?" yeah sungho had always hated that question
but after months of leehan and you dating, he realizes that it's a lot better that you're dating one of his members than a random guy he's never met
because he knows leehan is a good person and wouldn't play with your heart or treat you badly ever and it makes him really excited that two of the people closest to him are in love :( it's wholesome
i rambled a lot about sungho so let me talk a bit about leehan <3
he always finds it funny when he sees pieces of sungho in you and he always points it out
any mannerism or preference that you have that is similar to sungho's, leehan finds it so interesting!!
he loves to play into sungho's disgust at pda by giving you a kiss whenever he enters the room 
or when you steal his hoodie and sungho catches onto it, leehan just wears the biggest most proud smile ever :( he's so in love with you and wants to show you off everywhere he goes
overall dating leehan as sungho's little sister just means a whole lot of extra teasing and your brother being utterly disgusted but secretly endeared at your relationship at every turn
↳ boynextdoor taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @rizzshimura,, @captivq,, @icyminghao,, @eternalgyu,, @metalchick529,,
@schmocolateschmchip,, @kpoprhia,, @candewlsy,, @weird-bookworm,, @blossominghunnie,,
@kangtaehyunzzz,, @snowflakemoon3,, @lovialy,, @lecheugo,, @okshu,,
@wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,, @emmylksblog,,
@talkingsaxy,, @talking-saxy
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mizz-sea-nymph · 7 months
Text
Attention: if you are not @hebemina then I advise you don’t respond to this cause just by that you’ll embarrass yourself by proving my points and being literal proof.
Id like to say that me and her where friends but during the time we where friends she had her weird moments and her alright moments especially when we first met, it wasn’t her acting like the adult it was me, funnily enough I started referring to her as a sister cause that’s what I do when I worry about how a person views me, it was clear I was uncomfortable and got my friend who remember the first encounter and how I reacted to this ask a while back, hell I even asked them how to respond to the ask cause I was in such a panic. When looking at it, I’m genuinely disgusted how she didn’t even apologise or better herself, everyone keeps saying she’s better but she isn’t and it’s really sad how harmful it is especially to the people she spoke with that she made uncomfortable.
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(She was drunk and I was mortified and didn’t even know how to respond so I danced around it I’ll admit that but thing is she didn’t even apologize)
Now it’s hard to show this from the past cause of personal stuff but since some people already know about it I guess I just gotta grow some balls. I’m showing this from the past cause I came across it a while ago and got disgusted, I was a child and I was mortified so much so I asked my friends how to respond to it and was so ashamed and embarssed I thought I deleted this but luckily didn’t cause one can realize how horrid this is. What’s funny is a DECENT AND SENSITIVE AND CARING PERSON would apologise! You never apologized Mina! and this wasn’t the first time you got weird with me! Seriously! Atleast have the decency to say sorry! But not just this you’ve many times turned our platonic and happy convos to something straight up weird, I ended up deleting many on my blog cause of unlike you I feel embarrassed!
I went through a hard year and having someone like this disturb me online was the icing on the cake but of course I was too embarssed and scared to say anything about it cause I feared I’d be yelled at, by your followers, yeah allot of you made me not even want to stand up for myself and say “what you are doing is rubbing me the wrong way” despite her knowing my age, and despite me reminding her constantly at that time I kept saying “haha I’m in high school”. So to the people reading this, dont make her seem like she Dosent know the age of her followers cause she lurks, she lurks around even accounts she has now ignored just cause said acount has a different opinion then her.
Thought I didn’t notice? I easily noticed how you and @hanaiikiki or whatever TF her name is now stopped talking to me as a whole and started ignoring my existence, even when I was geniunely trying to be nice etc, you stopped when I voiced my opinion about Loki, Hana going as far as telling people she Dosent know me (girl I got ears everywhere, when I heard this I was shocked cause I thought we where good!) despite me clearly stating as a continuation I don’t care what anyone likes and Dosent like it’s the VICTIM BLAMING, that’s wrong and also rly weird. So I don’t understand why both of you would let a fictional character come between a nice mutual friendship, especially you Hana I geniunely liked talking to you I liked talking mythology and liked sending you asks, you where really nice and kind with me and didn’t weird me out like Mina but it’s clear you have no self identity what so ever. But of course, no worries! I have no need for you! I know who my people are and aren’t and you aren’t one of em that’s for sure. As for Mina, yeesh girl yeesh that’s all I got when it comes to this, cause again no self respect self shame or friendship is magic in this case, but then again you’re no use of me either so I’ll say I’m glad you don’t speak to me anymore cause you creeped me out many times :)
just cause someone hides behind a cute kind persona dose not always mean that’s what they are on the inside dishonesty is sm. I’m honestly so dissapointed so many here defend her and say she’s changed instead of her saying she has, let her speak for herself if she’s so much so as the adult she claims to be.Let her speak cause I’m amazed how everyone walks eggshells around her cause she’s “sensitive” that is a insult to sensitive people as a whole.
I’m not going to mention who cause I want them to rest easy cause they are dear to me and what they experienced today breaks my heart they’re so sweet and didn’t deserve any of this, but when Mina apologized to them, Mina used the excuse of “I didn’t know you where a minor” despite her MENTONING THEIR AGE! Everyone knows people that know what they’re doing use that excuse, they lie, they will always go with this excuse, don’t get offended and stop reading now Mina I ain’t calling you a pedo, I’m calling you a dumbass, a real big dumbass as a whole for that shit apology and excuse. A victim of harassment Dosent deserve this, and a “sorry” dose not make up for the trauma the victim suffered let alone this type of “sorry”.
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(I’m covering the name cause I rly feel bad for who experienced this and believe the poor thing has experienced enough today of all days like good god I don’t even want anyone to comfort me I’m fine! Just show some support and love to this victim cause good god)
there’s a line with senstivity and irresponsibility, and if it weren’t for me sending a respectful i REPEAT a respectful I’m a respectful person that’s how my mama raised me, anon ask saying you shouldn’t interact with minors much cause they’re easy to influenced and they see what you post easily etc etc, the useless “minors do not interact” wouldn’t be there. Oh and it’s hilarious how you have it there and still interact with said minors? Sweetie? It’s not there for show! Lotus? Heldril? Goddamm new comers? Children copy and children get affected! And you’ve clearly traumatized and affected a bunch! If you’re a so called elderly care giver you should know how to care for others that aren’t just you, make it make sense!
Oh and let’s not leave this out the cake. It’s funny how you talk about masturbating in public and how you vent in public, letting literally people who are younger than you be your therapist, or witness you sexting IN PUBLIC keep it in the dms woman! have so shame! This isn’t red lobster you embarrassing yourself! I ain’t slut shaming you cause I’m the queen of sluts, I’ve been called a slut for years and I didn’t even know about it so don’t think I’m slut shaming you. But really How wonderful really! A nurse! Who gose through the struggle of whipping elderly asses for a living! Doesn’t go to a therapist and relays on people decades younger than her! Get a damm therapist! Be ashamed! Seriously take some responsibility!
Not to mention I still remember how people expressed geniune concern for you and you milked it and said “see you on the other side” who says that! I was one of those people! I actually worried? But I woke up and realized what the fuck is this? Are you serious??? Some of these people who are worried for you are younger by years?? Some even minors?! Get a grip??! Where’s the responsibility?? It’d be better to write about your horny thoughts on a blog strictly for NSFW! I deadass told you to in the anon ask cause you need to be responsible! And dont you dare post a “im sorry 🥺” post! I know your type and I know them well! Just by that post where you explained yourself about the whole issue of you saying you want to make out with a minor, says allot. You didn’t address the issue! You just said it’s okay to hate you! You didn’t even defend yourself! Well for one Mina, I don’t hate you, I just hate the way you act,behave and your personality as a whole because that “sorry” will never cut the anxiety and horrible memory as a whole, be ashamed a bit, it’s not funny to make everything sexual and as a adult you should understand that.
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What you did to those mods and roleplayers? I’m still speechless and have Vietnam flashbacks when it comes to the public sexting good god, atleast as if it’s okay to do NSFW and sent a literal pic of you bust? I know dirty I’m the QUEEN of dirty that hand on your top pulling the shirt a little lower shocked me so much my eyebrows left to Saturn and had a baby with the planet! I’ve got eyebrow planet grandkids now that’s how shocked I was. Not to mention the mod was 19 you are literally a decade older girl- tf is this lore Olympus? I know you like lore Olympus but girl lore Olympus is lowkey shit no offence. Honestly no wonder the mod stopped roleplaying and deleted the acounts cause good god girl- atleast have the decency to ask?
It’s really funny! Just a big joke really!
I for one was a friend with yo!u until I realized your true colors, I’m disappointed and consider this pathetic. I used to think you were nice and kind but I was met with dissapointment you genuinely disappointed me, hurt me and not only me but many others, don’t beat yourself about it just accept the fact that you did and just remove yourself from said minors and ACTUALLY BE RESPONSIBLE, before you hurt even more people.
As for the ones reading this,
You all know me and I’m pretty sure this is shocking seeing me a person here on tumblr call out the so called sweet Mina but honestly, people! nobodies perfect! Are you kidding me?? Get it through your skulls! She isn’t perfect and I’m not saying to hate her I’m saying to stop treating her like a child! when actual children here are being harmed! I’ve seen minors on here who deadass have been affected by her! And nobody I say nobody! don’t you dare say she didn’t know what she was doing that’s a insult to the victims and disgusting in general.
Also it’s not the ror fandom that’s changing, this has nothing to do with ror, to anyone reading this know this, it’s the Mina fandom that’s changing, not the ror fandom I’ve been in the ror community long before her and if sm was changing I’d know.
I’m deadass saying this despite me being a decade younger then Mina, I’m not saying this as a friend, not as a friend cause I don’t see you as that anymore and will never will ever again, im saying this as a person who’s going to be honest with you,
Keep it real
Enough of this self cantered,narcissistic ,immature, shameful,irresponsible and selfish behavior, you should be able to expect opinions like this, stop hiding behind your followers and say what you have in mind Mina and DONT dance around the issue, I read your “apology” post when the Heldirl issue raised to light, you didn’t even talk about the issue in hand, you just said it’s okay to hate you! Three paragraphs!! don’t dance around this, and you know what, Don’t even respond if you plan on doing that, cause that just proves the point.
Just know I don’t respect you not just cause of you being weird in the past with me but also with others specifically others I care about, so don’t come crying to me cause I geniunely don’t care I know these types of etiquettes, a sorry will never cut shit like I said so call me a cruel bitch idc ig it’s fair 🤷🏻‍♀️ just know I DONT respect you one bit,good day.
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Tagging
@amphitriteswife @tinyy-tea-cup @mono-supports-palestine @praisethesuuun @riseofamoonycake @brokensenseofhumor @monstertreden @heldril @lotusmybeloved @nicasdreamer @ idk
idk who tf else to tag aaaa 💀 but yeah that’s my take on all of this respect me hate me I don’t care I rather be hated for who tf I am then who I pretend to be and who I am is a person to keeps it real 🤨
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louscartridge · 2 years
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hii i’m not sure if it ever sent but i was wondering if i could request something cute with soul where you put his hair in pigtails or something. thank u!!!
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i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform.
soul x gn reader
cw- not rly anything besides that fact that soul was like kinda over working himself with studying and reader calls soul 'babe' once.
a/n- LMFAOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. also the beginning of this was write on a phone so sorry if it looks weird lmaoo.
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You've been sitting on souls lap for maybe a good hour by now, his chin resting on your shoulder.
The two of you have been studying almost all day, but you gave up a while ago. Soul, however, was way more keen on continuously studying.
You sat still for the most part, the only time you would move slightly was when soul had to move himself to turn the page in his book or write something down.
Soul removed his hand from the small of your back once again and wrote something down.
“oh my god” he sighed, burying his face into your collarbone.
You lean back, his head falling from you, your lower back, hitting the desk.
“Take a break, yeah?” you whisper, caressing his neck and jaw.
"but i have to get this done." soul whispers back, earning a glare from you. he sighs. "ok fine. but! let me finish the rest of this, and then ill stop. i promise!"
"ok. sure, whatever you say." you reply doubtfully, taking your hands off his neck and put them into his hair.
soul was dedicated to begin with, but with all the added pressure from fnc and himself at that, he felt like he couldnt stop. no matter how stressed it made him, no matter how much you and keeho nagged him to stop for just a second, he insisted he needed to continue if he wanted to communicate with his peers better and all.
news flash! he didnt stop.
"what are you doing?" soul asked as he felt you parting his hair with your nail.
"if you are going to be oh so keen on studying, im gonna make it so you cant continue." you reply leaning foward again.
"y/n, i cant see"
"its almost like thats the entire point."
you comb through the left side of his hair with your fingers and twist one of the hair ties you have on your wrist around souls hair, making a little pony tail.
"oh my god are you seriously putting my hair in pigtails right now?"
"yep." you giggle doing the same thing to the left side.
"happy now?" he asks smiling.
"are you done studying for tonight?"
"honestly i dont even remember where i left off so i guess. its just gonna be hard to find-"
you cut him off. "yes or no babe."
'"yes." soul conforms
"then yes, im happy now" you smile shaking his pigtails.
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