#something to strengthen the illusion of knowing someone

[foone]

The rules are simple: Two wizards. Two pistols. No magic.

Now, don't misunderstand: "No magic" of course means "no magic now". The pistols are constructed using magic, of course. Wizards don't carry unenchanted firearms, that'd be silly. You don't spend years learning to bend all the rules of spacetime just to make a gun that shoots lead bullets using exploding powder. No magic just means you don't cast a shield spell while you're taking aim. But if you want to bring a gun you've designed to cast a shield itself when drawn? Go nuts.

So most wizards will have a dedicated dueling gun for these reasons. You want something that helps against the other wizard's enchantments, something that protects you from the effects of their bullets, and casts some protective magic on you. Shields, invisibility, illusions, healing... Your dueling pistol is usually a tricked out masterpiece of everything you know about magic and firearms.

Which is why this pistol in front of you is so worrying.

It's basically virgin. This is the product of a skilled gunsmith, not a wizard. There's no shields, no infinite ammunition, no enchantments on the bullets, which are mere lead and brass. There's some low level enchantments to strengthen the barrel from misfires, and the powder is enhanced to ensure it's always enough. That's the kind of magic you'd find on a pistol you buy from an average gun store, and it'd cost you only a few coins. This is the weapon of an unmagical security guard or a robber, not the dueling weapon of a world-class magician.

Veynor turned up his magic sense as far as he could without melting his eyes out of his head. Could it have an enchantment to hide other enchantments? No, unless they're being powered by half a city's worth of power. And even if they were, that much anti-magic would hide the low level enhancements on the barrel and the powder.

He asks if he can examine the bullets. "Bullet", says the nameless wizard, pulling out the empty magazine and showing it to Veynor. They pull back the slide and eject a single bullet, grabbing it in their other hand with practiced ease. They hand it over, and Veynor stares at it with the kind of intensity you only see when someone is looking not with their eyes. It's... Lead. Lead and powder and brass and a primer and the only magic here just makes sure the powder is sufficient to fire it. That's the kind of enchantment that you cast on a whole batch of bullets to ensure none will misfire, not the kind a wizard intricately carves into each bullet individually to give them a fighting chance in a magic battle.

Veynor hands back the bullet, and the nameless wizard loads it back in their pistol. It's a bluff, it has to be. They're trying to scare me, he thinks. Wizards know the inverse rule of subtlety and power. Your average wizard throwing fireballs and lightning is a student still in their first few years, while an old master will not need to do anything as flashy. They'll just wave a hand dismissively and your entire family line going back seven generations will retroactively be erased... So this has to be a trick. They know they're outclassed (Veynor has been at this for decades, after all), and are trying to psych him out. With a gun this cheap and unpowerful, they're betting that the more powerful wizard will call off the duel out of imagined danger.

Too bad. Veynor is not blinking at the bluff... "Let's do this".

They face away from each other, as if they could only see from their eyes. Veynor holds his pistol high, and the nameless wizard holsters it, their arrogance apparently extending to not needing to have it ready to fire. Another attempt at bluffing, as if Veynor could even call it off now. The rules are clear, and wizard rules aren't the kind you break without consequences.

They take their requisite ten paces, and Veynor flips around and takes aim, his pistol setting up shields and blurring his image as he takes aim at... Nothing? Where's the nameless wizard?! Did he flee? Veynor didn't feel any ripples from a teleport, he must have gone invisible. His gun continues casting spells on him, and he feels the enhanced vision kick in. The morning mist fades and the clouds in the distance come into view, but still no nameless wizard.

Veynor swears. The nameless wizard must have cheated. There's no way that gun could have done this. If it could, he would have seen the enchantment. Well, if they're cheating... He casts a review spell, rewinding time in his mind and watching the duel again. They face away, the take the steps. 1,2,3...

The cloud parts in the distance. There's a rumbling in the ground. Even with enhanced vision it's not obvious what happens. Veynor tries to dismiss the review magic but their magical control is going haywire. Something is very, very wrong. They start to feel like they're being pulled out to sea by an undertow, as the ambient mana field is suddenly becoming a raging river pulling past them.

In their vision, they see the nameless wizard stop at the end of their paces, and turn as they reach for their pistol. As the review ends, they see the holster glow with the colorless light of magic, as an enchantment activates. That's their trick, they placed magic on the holster! But what kind? And what's happening in the sky?

The clouds part to a black circle with a silver rim. The circle grows in size, seemingly, an Veynor casts a farsight spell now to see this from another angle. Casting his vision miles to the side, he sees the circle is a tube descending from the clouds at a shallow angle, pointed right at him... Oh sweet silent mother, that's the barrel of the pistol. It's now big enough to cross the inland sea, with a caliber better described in miles.

The sky goes dark as the barrel blots out the sun, the shadow stretching halfway to the way station at the edge of the wizarding wastes. With his senses stretched by the enchantments on his gun, he sees the events happening in slow motion. There's a click, and a hammer starts moving towards the back of the bullet.

Veynor tries to set up a teleport, an emergency one to anywhere, anyplace, any time but here. The flowing mana is making it difficult but he sees a destination: the abandoned fortress at the other end of the wastes. It'll be easier to get to than outside the wastes, and it'll give him time to set up another jump. The sky shatters as a sound starts coming his way.

With his slowed time sense, it'll be minutes before he can hear the gunshot, but already the shockwave is visible, even to the unaided eye. The bullet is supersonic, however, so no matter what happens he'll never hear that gunshot: either he teleports out of here or the bullet turns him and half the landscape into a fine paste.

He focuses his vision on the fortress, concentrating on finishing the teleport. The soundwave of the gunshot hits the fortress in his sight beyond sight, and it doesn't collapse, exactly, so much as cease being a structure and reverts back to a thousand small stones no longer sharing any association with each other.

With his destination destroyed, his teleport fizzles. The sky is still dark, but the mana flowing towards him has sped up to the point where he's having trouble staying upright, as his footing gets shakier and shakier. He looks up and sees the slug moving towards him at a bit more than the speed of sound, and he closes his eyes.

It doesn't help, his magical senses continue to show him the movement of objects around him, right up until the moment of impact.

The barrier around the wizard wastes goes white, and slowly fades back down through the colors until it returns to its normal semi-transparency.

The nameless wizard catches the hot brass in their right hand, before it hits the rapidly solidifying bedrock under their feet. The wizard wastes are self-healing (you'd be surprised how much even the average wizard duel destroys the landscape), but that's no reason to litter. They look at the deep crater they find themselves in, and start planning a route up the side. Most of it is still flowing, with the sand and rock intermixing in their white hot state, but there's spots here and there that are cooling quicker.

They could try a teleport, but it's a nice day for a bit of rock climbing. Besides, like they always say: half the trick of being a wizard is knowing when not to use magic. And right now the local mana field is a bit chaotic, having just gone through the equivalent of the Chicxulub impact.

They hike up their robes and begin to climb. Their feet may be heat proof, but they don't want to singe their robe again. It's a lot harder to enchant wool with heat protection spells, something to do with how the will of the former owner interferes. They make a note to do more research into the inherent magical abilities of sheep, once they climb out of this crater. Behind them, rocky ejecta finally crashes back into the crater. They wonder if the barrier has a roof, or if they just flung rocks onto the moons. They'll have to ask one of the lunar residents later, and make amends for any property damage.

They'll have to get lunch after this, all this climbing is working up an appetite. Maybe some mutton chops, since they were thinking about sheep? There's a good place on the bigger moon, they haven't been there in a while.

On the moon, there's a small impact, a puff of dust thrown up into the (lack of) air and slowly drifting back down. In the puddle-sized crater, a heavily enchanted pistol lies, still in perfect shape. The engraving on the side, readable in all languages, says "if found, return to Veynor". The dust lands on it, slowly burying it.

[wakkass]

Katara's Lightning: waterbending technique

Part 2

By a happy coincidence, one firebender who just knows how to redirect lightning joined the Gaang. You have no idea how excited I was when I realized the potential for Zuko and Katara's interaction in this concept.

Two benders of opposing elements turn to each other's elements to master one phenomenon: lightning. She's a waterbender who creates this lightning, and he's a firebender who repels it. One draws these skills from the other's martial art: lightning redirection is based on the concept of waterbending, while lightning is a firebending technique.

This is not just a combination of elements, it's their unification into something whole. Mix water and fire! It would seem impossible, but Katara and Zuko are people who have always gone beyond human capabilities to achieve their goals. If they can't do it, no one can.

Thus, by blurring the boundaries between fire and water, they destroy the illusion of difference between peoples (if you remember, this topic was raised by Guru Pathik in book 2). People of water and fire can work together, help and even complement each other.

After all, in fact, each of them makes up for the lack of the other. Katara can't control the lightning, and Zuko can't create it to further deflect it. They need each other for the balance of power. Like Yin and Yang, like day and night, like the sun and moon. How beautiful it is, I can’t.

I think the whole idea of Katara personifying anger would have continued with Zuko joining the team. When he appeared, she found nothing better than to center her rage on him. He betrayed her, this is justified anger. He's the prince of the nation that started the war, he is responsible for these horrors. He's the son of the one who ordered her mother killed.

However, Zuko did something that no one expected, especially Katara: he allowed her to let go of the anger of her life. He achieved this by redirecting the power of her rage to the real culprit of all Katara's worries - the murderer of her mother. And the reprisal against him gave her inner peace and a solution to a problem that seemed unsolvable.

Her anger was just like lightning, which was eager to strike at least someone, just to throw out the accumulated energy. Righteous, but throwing itself at everyone. Zuko didn't hide it, didn't calm it down, but redirected it to where it was needed, finding the necessary target.

This is another metaphorical aspect of their joint technique. He learned to channel her lightning not just through training, but through interaction and strengthening their personal connection. And the result was that understanding at a glance, which formed the basis of their fighting style. I don't know about you, but I thought this summed up their relationship perfectly.

Thus, from now on, she can rely on Zuko and trust him not only with the emotional burden, but also with their lives in the midst of a storm, both metaphorical and literal. After all, she knows that he will always deflect lightning from innocent...

Remember this moment? Zuko and Katara fight back to back, showing their shared trust in each other and cooperation as warriors. But imagine if, on top of everything else, they trained a joint technique for generating lightning and then directing it. It looks so cool in my head, it’s a pity I’m not an animator and/or storyboard artist, I don’t know how to stage scenes (((

And then, when lightning seemingly brought Zuko and Katara together, it ended up nearly tearing them apart, taking his life.

Because Zuko will always deflect lightning from Katara…

< Part 1

[cheenapri]

Transactional [Yandere Illumi Zoldyck x Reader]

Day one

Summary: Illumi had decided to spoil you for once, little did you know how much it would cost you in the end.

Word count: 7.6k

Notes: yandere, kidnapping, gender neutral reader, unhealthy relationships, unbalanced power dynamics, mentions of past abuse, Illumi is kind of an asshole but when is he not, reader is not having a good time

Day two + three

Shit.

Why didn’t you figure this out sooner?

You had deluded yourself into believing that maybe he felt bad, that he had actually changed for the better, for your wellbeing, that he actually wanted to treat you for once just to make you happy.

Of course not.

There’s always a catch. It was chiefly for his benefit under the guise of strengthening the involuntary relationship you had with him.

“Fate brought you to me. And thus, it is my duty to protect you.” he explained over and over during his many lectures, trying to drill it into you. 

He had only given the illusion of change.

You held your breath, his body looming over you with one hand interlaced with your own and the other straddling your hip to keep you still. He left bite marks on your neck, too rough and inexperienced to be interpreted as anything affectionate, though what he intended, blood quick to seep out of the wounds. He had slowly lapped it up, taking far too long for it to be seen as any sort of foreplay. A part of you wondered if he changed his mind and decided to cannibalize you instead. 

He didn’t really care how strange his actions were, though. He had you right where he wanted you — where you should’ve been long ago. He moved like he was following a script; his long, black hair draped down as he went in for more “love bites”. His face was expressionless as always, cementing just how empty this relationship was. How did he develop such a twisted sense of love?

You question why he even bothered preparing you for this, though you appreciated it for once, as he took the time to organize a five day vacation with you – or rather order the butlers to organize it. What was the point? Everything was lifeless and awkward, just like back at the estate. Was this the only sense of normality he was willing to give you? 

Your mind recalls when it was first announced to you, it was through your appointed butler, Shiori. Shiori was around the same age as you, chosen deliberately to increase your chances of opening up to her. He gave her the task, having her inquire about your likes and dislikes, favorite hobbies, movies, fashion taste and more just so he could surprise you with it later. You assumed he’s either too awkward or doesn’t care enough to learn about your interests directly from your own mouth.

Sitting at a white desk in your prison of a master bedroom, you assembled a DIY house kit. It was a little greenhouse, the tediousness of it giving you something to do while you tried to maintain your sanity. The room was windowless, the walls soundproof, and there was only one door, a titanium maximum security door that could only be opened with his permission. A security camera with a speaker loomed above you, seemingly always pointing directly at you.

You try not to think about how many times he’s watched you through that camera.

The distant sound of one of the security gates opening catches your ears. Someone’s coming. 

You set the tweezers down, heart quickening as you continue listening. It doesn’t take long for the door to be unlocked, the multiple clicks ringing throughout the silent room. Audible footsteps could be heard, causing you to relax a little as that was your indication it wasn’t him. You turn as Shiori emerges, swiftly locking the door behind her and standing with her white gloved fingers interlaced neatly in front of her. She smiles at you and you return a half hearted one. 

“Good evening, Master (Name).” she bows her head with formality, her short brown and blonde hair briefly falling over her face. She straightens up again and quickly fixes her hair. “The Master has a message for you. You are to freshen up and dress yourself, you will be escorted outside shortly.”

Your interest immediately piqued. You had only been outside of this room once since you got here – when you attempted your first escape. It was during a time when you had a different assigned butler named Junpei. Junpei had fallen for you in their short time taking care of you, bonding with you in ways no other butler would ever be able to. They were genuine, they actually cared about you and your well-being rather than what their employer had tasked them with. There were no cameras in the room at the time so the two of you made plans to escape whenever they visited under the guise of wanting to keep you company. Unfortunately for you, your captor had already planned for something like this, though he didn’t think anyone had the gall to actually up and do it. Both your and Junpei’s heart dropped to your feet when you saw him standing menacingly outside the first security gate. He was silent, but his bloodthirsty aura spoke for him. You soon found out what it sounds like to physically rip someone apart with bare hands. You actually thought you'd die that night as you found yourself unable to breathe or even think amidst his extreme, malicious aura, eyes widening further when he questions if you truly loved Junpei. You never want to see him like that ever again. 

You were let off with a broken ankle and no one spoke of the incident again. 

Shiori could see your confusion mixed with awe. “That is all I can tell you, Master (Name). It would be best for you to begin preparing yourself now.”

You slowly stood up, looking at your project for a moment as you pondered what he may have been planning. This was strange. He definitely wasn’t rewarding you for good behavior. You’ve already tried that route of buttering him up in hopes he’d let his guard down; he, in fact, did not and you were punished for dishonesty. How would he know what true love was anyway?

You make your way to the large, luxury bathroom, turning on the warm water and letting the shower run for a bit. You hear Shiori’s footsteps through the door, assuming she’s going through your wardrobe and picking your outfit at his request. You hate him. 

You slowly stepped into the tub, the warm water embracing you like a comforting hug. Hot showers restored a bit of your sanity. You liked to stand there and allow the water to splash onto you, imagining you were anywhere but in this hellhole. Shiori, however, encourages you to pick up your speed, well aware of your tendency to reminisce in the shower for far too long. You sigh, stepping out of the tub and finishing your routine. You avoid looking at yourself in the mirror, not wanting to see what months of stress had done to your features. You threw on a fluffy robe before leaving the bathroom. There was an outfit sprawled out on the bed, one you knew he really liked on you though he’s never admitted it, only staring longer than he should.

“Is this some kind of special event?” You ask sarcastically.

It’s a rhetorical question, but Shiori humors you regardless.

“The Master is in a good mood today.” she smiles gently, her voice somewhat monotone. 

She reminded you of him in a way. Why did she even choose to work here? You stare at the outfit for a moment, reluctant to even touch it. Shiori notices your uneasiness, fully understanding your anxiety but feigning ignorance nonetheless. “Is something the matter, Master (Name)?”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

Your anxiety continues to build. Everything in your strange, unstable relationship with him has been purely transactional. Want dessert? Speak kindly to him. Want a new video game to play? Butter him up but be careful not to overdo it, there’s only so much dishonesty he could allow. Want the privilege of having a full belly for the next three days? Behave. Do everything he says without question, regardless if you have to swallow your pride. So despite all of this, why was he suddenly treating you so graciously? Allowing you to leave your prison cell masterfully decorated to resemble a bedroom belonging to a ten million dollar mansion?

Shiori chuckles a bit. You’re aware of how disingenuous it sounds, but you don’t comment on it. “You shouldn’t worry yourself, Master (Name). The Master has been planning this for a while now, I’m sure you will enjoy yourself.”

Great, now you’re worried Shiori has said too much. You’re no stranger to how strict the Zoldyck family is with their servants, how strict he must be with Shiori. You think of what happened to Junpei again, of the desperate pleas that fell upon deaf ears as he continued to mutilate them, how his expression seemed more uncanny than usual.

Shivering at the thought of it, you drop the topic, not wanting to continue to allow her to dig her own grave but grateful for the hints. You remove your robe, ignoring Shiori’s presence as you’ve changed in front of her countless times, and put on the outfit along with your assigned shoes. 

Shiori confirms that you’re ready before the two of you move to stand in front of the large security door. To say you were apprehensive was an understatement. Perhaps this was your chance to finally escape? No, that would be stupid. Obviously he’d already accounted for that, most likely had medical professionals on standby in case he needed to break your ankle again. Maybe he’d break both of them this time or even saw your legs off. You wouldn’t put it past him.

The multiple clicks of the locks could be heard again before the door was pulled open, multiple butlers on the other side. Shiori steps out and you’re hesitant to follow, not wanting to give away how eager and ready to bolt you were. Not like you could anyway, not with five highly skilled butlers watching your every move. 

Not a word was spoken as they escorted you through the two security gates, your eyes stinging when sunlight poured over you. 

You’re outside. 

You’re actually outside.

You would scream and cry if the situation was different, falling to your knees and feeling the grass on your hands in your frenzied state. 

You look around, taking a mental note of every little thing. You could see the Zoldyck’s mansion in the distance, far away from your separate living structure. Good. 

“Eyes forward, (Name).”

The sudden order breaks you out of your thoughts, your head whips forward while your eyes move to look at the source of the voice. It was a taller, older lady with pink, pigtail type hair. She must’ve been serving the Zoldycks for a long time. She’s silent, giving you a stern look before turning forward again. You fight the urge to look around, to run even, as you’re led through the forest that surrounds the estate.

“Where are we going?” you couldn’t help but ask. Your voice is somewhat soft and timid, but it’s clear they all heard you. 

“It’s just up ahead, Master (Name).” Shiori answers, her hands now folded behind her.

You’re taking in as much information as you can without actually looking around, taking note of the distance between the Butler’s Quarters and your prison cell. Approximately one hundred fifty seven steps, you’ve been counting. An additional two hundred seventy four steps from the Butler’s Quarters to the front gate. Would you even remember this information?

One of the butlers effortlessly pushes open the giant front gate, the feat reminding you just how weak you truly are. Those gates weigh four tons and the bigger gates above it are many times heavier. 

You can’t even begin to describe what you were feeling. A part of you fully believed he had come to his senses and was releasing you like some wild animal, throwing you off of the property and leaving you to fend for yourself. Surely it would be better than going back to that room. 

Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case. Instead of throwing you out and shutting the gate behind them, the butlers led you to a black Mercedes truck sitting in wait.

Your head hurts. You feel like you’re going to throw up. Typical reaction when you know he’s near. You could just die right now. You knew you were bound to see him again, but that doesn’t repress the dread it fills you with.

He’s staring at you through the tinted windows, you can’t see him — you just know it. You don’t want to see him, you haven't had enough time to mentally prepare; you’ll never have enough time to mentally prepare. Shiori steps ahead of you, opening the passage to hell as the Devil himself sits patiently, his black, empty eyes gazing upon you.

You nearly vomit.

You swallow hard, holding your breath in an attempt to mellow out your facial features as you climb into the backseat. You didn’t acknowledge him yet, slowly buckling your seatbelt and staring at Shiori with widened eyes as she shuts the door, sealing you inside with that monster.

It’s suffocating.

Overwhelming.

You forgot to breathe.

Sucking in sharp breaths, you shut your eyes tightly. The silence is deafening. He’s waiting on you. For once.

“H-hello… Illumi.” saying his name was the equivalent of swallowing a cup of hydrochloric acid. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth, pains your throat, your stomach, everything. 

Illumi hums in approval. “Hm. I’m thankful you hadn’t forgotten your manners, (Name). I thought I’d have to discipline you sooner than I anticipated.” you hear him shift, surely turning to fully face you. “I won’t need to, right?” his monotone voice does your ears a disservice despite its smoothness.

“No.” you quickly wipe your eyes, knowing how much he hates seeing your tears. 

You finally force yourself to look up at him, his piercing, cat-like eyes filling you with the unwavering desire to do something drastic. Maybe throw yourself out of the car when it’s moving and hope it runs you over, killing you in the process. 

You look away just as quickly, tightly gripping your pants to quell the need to gouge your eyes out. At least you wouldn’t have to look at him then. He shifts again, facing forward but not looking away from you. “I’ll assume you’re overwhelmed. You’ve missed me so much you don’t know how to convey it.”

“I didn’t miss you. I actually had hoped you died and I’d never have to see you again.” is what you would say if you were fond of getting the life strangled out of you. Instead, you stay silent, staring at your hands intertwined on your lap. 

“What have you been getting up to?”

Shouldn’t he already know? Shiori is his human security camera plus the actual security camera he has in your enclosure. What are you even supposed to say to this? You’ve been rotting in bed and crying your eyes out because you can’t leave? You had thought of creative ways to end your own life? He’d have you restrained to your bed for all eternity if you mentioned that last one. 

“Nothing of interest.” is all you say.

“Tell me. I want to hear it.”

Bastard’s trying to force conversation. 

“I’m working on that greenhouse project Shiori had given me-”

“I had given you.” he corrects. Silence falls over the two of you as the car finally begins to drive off. 

Illumi was always out on missions or some other job, how were you supposed to know it was a gift from him? You wouldn’t have touched it otherwise, preferring to rot in bed than encourage him in the slightest. You’re actually thankful for his extended time spent away doing fuck all, not seeing yourself surviving if you had to physically endure him day and night constantly. Hell, you were barely keeping your composure just sitting next to him and you’d only seen him for two minutes. 

“Thank you.” not knowing what else to say, you simply thank him, hoping he’d be satisfied with just that and leave you alone. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’ve been doing?”

Of course he doesn’t.

“Killing people?” you state the obvious, hoping he wouldn’t interpret that as you trying to be smart. Assassinating people is his job, it only makes sense to assume that’s what he’s been doing. You wish he’d kill you and get it over with. 

“Naturally. Take a better guess.” what the hell does he want from you? You don’t know anything significant about him to be able to give a good guess. You’re clearly stunted, your lack of a response giving it away. He narrows his eyes slightly, reaching out which causes you to flinch. He retracts his hand momentarily upon seeing your reaction before going in again slowly, softly cupping your chin and guiding your head to look at him. “Do you assume I don’t think about you?”

What? He must be fucking with you.

Illumi brings forth his other hand just as slowly, now gently cupping your face with both. You were always shocked by how smooth and soft his hands were. They’re cold though.

“Answer me.”

His owlish eyes were staring directly into your soul, almost hypnotizing you. You shift your head and look away. If you were as bold as you used to be, you would’ve swung on him by now, turning his gentle hands cupping your face into violent claws gripping your throat. It took many lessons for you to learn that you simply could not fight him.

He backs down and lets go of you when you fail to answer, pulling his hands into his lap again. He was aware of your fear, he found twisted comfort in it, believing it would keep you glued to his side. You glance in his general direction but not at his face. He was wearing that purple outfit again and his long, black hair was as silky as ever.

“Aren’t you curious as to where we’re going?” 

He sure was talkative today; Shiori did mention he was in a good mood. He’s usually very blank, even around you, his supposed partner. It forced you to learn to read his emotions using his micro expressions, tone, silent indicators, and of course aura. Aura was mainly reserved for more intense emotions, ones you should avoid inducing at all costs.

You were always on edge whenever you were around him, and this unusual shift in attitude didn’t help. 

“So where are we going?” you finally ask.

“You’ll see when we get there.”

Motherfucker. 

You don’t respond, looking away from him in favor of staring out of the window. You were seated awkwardly, not fully allowing yourself to relax, not that you could in the presence of Illumi. You could almost drown him out completely if it weren’t for his uncanny staring, something you still couldn’t get used to. He barely blinks; it reminds you of some sort of Creepypasta.

“Talk to me.”

It was an order.

“I don’t know what to say to you.” your voice was quiet. You’re really not in the mood to speak right now, especially not to him. This wouldn’t do, however, as Illumi was determined — something that proves to never end well for you. 

“You can talk about anything you want.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“(Name),” it was a warning, a hint of irritation laced his otherwise monotone voice. “Do you really not have anything to talk about… or do you just not want to?”

You didn’t want to clearly, but you also didn’t want to taste his wrath. 

“Could you tell me about your day?” you chose to interview him instead, hoping that if you got him to talk in length, you wouldn’t have to. He brings his hand up to his chin as if he was thinking, his eyes never leaving you. You felt like he was robbing you of your life energy just by looking at you. 

“My day?” he repeated the question, falling silent for a few moments before speaking once more. “If I told you, that would ruin the surprise.”

You reply with a mere “oh” before looking out of the window once again. 

“(Name).”

He’s never been this persistent for your attention before. All the times he’s returned home and “spent time” with you mainly consisted of the two of you sitting in silence while he watched you do nothing; an occasional short and awkward conversation. It felt more like he was being forced to interact with you rather than wanting to on his own volition, despite him being the one keeping you there. 

“I’m sorry, Illumi.” 

You only said his name when you were trying to soothe him, hoping to avoid consequence. He knew that, but he wouldn’t admit that it indeed worked. The slight drooping of his shoulders betrayed him every time, however. 

He doesn’t accept nor reject your insincere apology, choosing to silently savor your calling of his name. You will never understand him.

“I answered you, now it’s your turn to talk. Tell me about your home life.”

This question immediately raised flags. He’s never asked you something like this, let alone allow you to cry about it. You look at him, eyes slightly widen for a brief moment. Was he only bringing this up to bait you into talking? “Don’t you already know everything about me?” 

He indeed did. He made it known to you that he’d stalked you for five months before making his move, talking about it as if he was stating what he had for lunch. He had no sense of morality, no awareness as to how his extreme actions affected others. He’s insane.

You’ve noticed a slight change in his stare. You’re pissing him off.

“I want you to tell me.”

“Uh,” you quickly scrambled for things to say, “I had my own house and car as well as a really good high paying job.” you used “had” for a reason. You were positive that all your assets were repossessed when search parties couldn’t find you and weeks were flying by without a single clue regarding your whereabouts. Illumi keeps staring, quietly pressing you to continue. 

“I had a really sweet dog.” you used “had” again. You don’t recall all the details of that night, only that you had gotten a rude shock when you woke up to a strange man in your bedroom. Surely you would have woken up sooner if you heard something happen, but you didn’t. You decided to ask what you were always afraid to ask before, taking advantage of this moment to finally get closure. “Are… are they okay? My dog?”

Your hesitation was obvious. Nothing good ever happened whenever you brought up members of what he refers to as “your past life.” you were positive he intended for you to talk about things you did alone rather than actual people or living beings you connected with. They didn’t exist anymore, according to him. They don’t matter. Don’t talk about them. 

“Your dog is dead.” 

You’d been preparing for this moment for months now, but the bluntness of his answer still hit you like a truck. “H-huh?”

“Your dog is dead.” he repeated again with no sense of remorse. ”I didn’t want to risk it alerting you to my presence, so I killed it.”

Something felt off that night, your dog was more anxious than usual, pacing back and forth and staring out certain windows. They even refused to go outside when you tried to let them out, their tail tucked between their legs and fur standing on edge. You should’ve known. You should’ve taken them and ran.

It was even worse that you also ignored all those strange people you had met that week. They all had a gold piercing sticking out of some part of their head, almost like a needle. Their words were slurred and their movements puppet-like as they asked you unsettling questions. “Do you have a romantic interest?” as well as  “Do you have any exes?” and “Do you live alone?”

That should’ve been your sign to get the hell out of there. 

Illumi tilts his head and watches you attempt to bottle your emotions. Your hands gripping the fabric of your pants tightly as you bit your lip, your heart was hurting. You’d already mourned for your dear pet, assuming that killer had taken their life when he broke into your house, but still having slight hope that he had spared them. 

Why had he even bothered to answer your question let alone allow you to ask it?

He doesn’t initiate anymore conversation for the rest of the car ride, thankfully, allowing you to simmer in your emotions. That doesn’t mean he averts his attention from you, though. 

The car finally pulls into a parking lot belonging to a grand, luxurious hotel. You’re as confused as you are shocked. The parking lot is empty aside from several black Mercedes trucks holding Zoldyck butlers and presumably cars belonging to the hotel’s employees. It’s a normal working day and this is a well known, upscale hotel, so why was it so empty? 

Illumi looks away from you for the first time since you’ve entered the car, pulling the door’s handle and exiting the vehicle. You didn’t move, you’re too afraid to, you didn’t want to make the wrong move. 

Shiori approaches your side of the truck, but Illumi steps in front of her, opening the door for you and holding out his hand. You slowly unbuckled your seatbelt and attempted to slide past him, he only grabbed you and placed you back into the car before extending his hand again, silently commanding you to take it. He took note of your blatant disobedience, but said nothing, deciding against giving you a much desired punishment. He took what he considered to be a softer approach, giving you a chance to correct your mistakes. 

Feeling as though he’s one inconvenience away from breaking you, you hesitantly take his hand. His grip was firm, his assistance useless. He ignored your attempt at pulling your hand free the second your foot touched the ground, choosing to let go only after both feet were firmly planted. 

Illumi doesn’t explain the situation as he begins walking with you in tow, Shiori and some other butlers trailing behind the both of you. Butlers were all over the place actually, standing guard as if this was a maximum security prison rather than a hotel. You feel like they’re all watching you, fully expecting you to try something in vain. You don’t blame them, if you had super speed, you would’ve run off by now. 

The hotel was completely vacant of people, aside from more butlers and concerned hotel employees. As you enter the lobby, your eyes lingered on the receptionist, praying they had seen your missing person’s report months earlier; if it had even been reported as such. They only look down, guilt seemingly spread across their face. Were they threatened or perhaps even paid off to stay silent? 

Who knows.

The silence was louder than the shuffling of the butlers’ footsteps or the tune of the faint jazz music coming from the ballroom. A butler approaches Illumi and informs him that all preparations were ready, earning them a nod in response. You silently follow as the both of you are led away, the uneasiness on your face evident to anyone who dared to look at it. 

The butler soon stops in front of a particular door far at the end of a long hallway. The space felt liminal, you’d almost think you’d gotten sucked into a different reality if the two people next to you weren’t present. The butler bows slightly before leaving you and Illumi alone. He looked at you, like he was trying to read your expression, before twisting the door’s handle and revealing the room’s interior. 

He must’ve paid a fortune. The room was large, decorated with luscious furniture you couldn’t even begin to think about affording. There was a king size bed in the middle of the room, a flatscreen TV almost as wide as the bed propped on the wall in front of it, a glass sliding door leading to a balcony on the far right, and a lounge chair in the corner to say the least. 

You awkwardly step into the room, hugging yourself as you attempt to make sense of the situation; taking note of the clicking of the door’s lock. 

“Well, here we are.”

His lack of enthusiasm spoiled the mood. Not that the mood was bright anyway.

“So… what’s the point of this?” your voice was a bit low and shy. He didn’t like it, he’d have to chip away at that. He had bigger things to be upset over, however, as you appear, or choose to pretend, to not understand what’s going on. His intentions should’ve been obvious by now. He doesn’t respond right away, causing you to ask yet another ignorant question. “Are we attending some kind of special event?”

“No.” his answer was short, intentionally vague to encourage you to figure it out yourself. Illumi casually moves about the room while you continue to stand in the same spot, presumably checking for himself to make sure that everything was in place. You were on edge, that much was apparent as he stopped a few feet in front of you. “Do you like the room?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I will be back.”

You feel a slight wind as he walks past you, a little too close considering the amount of space around you. You immediately relax once he’s gone, taking a few deep breaths as you cautiously inspect the room. The thought of trying the handle to see if he’d locked it behind him doesn’t even cross your mind, the odds were against you and you knew that. Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t try the balcony door, however.

It was locked, just as you’d guessed. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed and resting your head in your hands, you think in vain of a possible escape. Maybe when he leaves you alone again, you could use something to break the glass then use the bed sheets to craft a makeshift rope? The problem with that is the bedsheets wouldn’t serve you as you were several stories off the ground. Your plan didn’t even account for what you’d do if you even reached the ground as you were sure Zoldyck butlers surrounded the premises.

You decided it was best to just roll with it, see where this was going. Maybe you could exploit him as he does seem to be more lenient with you. 

The door clicks and it opens, Illumi standing in the doorway looking in at you, noticing how much more relaxed you appeared to be in his absence. He motions for you to follow and you do so without fuss. 

Following him down the long hallway felt surreal, you couldn’t hear anything aside from your own footsteps as his were completely silent; traits of an elite assassin. You watch as his long, black hair swayed behind him, almost glaring as you study his robotic movements. He doesn’t feel real.

The two of you entered the hotel’s restaurant, it was just as desolate of other patrons as the rest of the place. You were led to a lone, two person table placed next to the glass wall, the table’s decorations stood out amongst the others as its setting included rose petals and candles. 

Corny. You don’t like this.

You take your seat, now being forced to fully face him for who knows how long. You turn your head to the right, looking out of the window. Your breath hitches as you notice people in the far distance. People. Actual people clueless as to what’s happening to you right now. You give Illumi a side stare, his blank yet judgemental one challenging yours.

“Where is everyone?” you couldn’t help but ask despite knowing it was a question he did not want to hear. 

“They aren’t important.”

Why should they matter? They’d only interfere and distract you from what’s important: him. You should only be focused on him and his efforts to please you. 

“So what exactly is this?”

Your inability, or unwillingness, to comprehend the situation was beginning to annoy him. Wasn’t it clear? Did the dim lighting and candles not give it away? The rose petals on the table? The romantic — or what he deemed to be romantic — atmosphere? 

“It’s a romantic dinner.”

He didn’t offer any further details, upset he had to state that it was a date rather than let his efforts speak for him. You were sitting across from him, the two of you were almost completely alone. This was a date.

“All of a sudden, though? You never let me leave that room before.”

“Why does it matter?” his tone was still flat. 

Illumi couldn’t believe you’d question his acts of kindness. He was doing it because he wanted to treat you for once, deciding to take you somewhere appropriate and fitting to your taste. 

“I’m just trying to understand you.” you state, holding your hands together on the table as a self soothing mechanism. 

“You don’t need to understand me.” his voice hinted at the tiniest bit of annoyance. He had no need to explain his actions, he had his reasons and that’s all you needed to know. “Just enjoy the dinner.”

You say nothing as you turn your attention to the only other people present in the room: the butlers standing at the exits and the chefs working in the kitchen. None of them looked at you, their attention focused on anything but. 

“Don’t stare at them. The butlers are simply here to protect you.” his monotone voice made his last sentence sound oddly intimidating. 

You fight the urge to question if it was him they would be protecting you from in the case that you anger him. 

“It feels like the rapture has happened and we’re the only ones left.” you pick up one of the rose petals, inspecting it as an excuse to avoid his gaze. 

“That would be ideal.” 

“Is something bad going to happen to me?” your forward question caused his thin eyebrows to raise slightly.

“Not if you behave. I just want you to enjoy this date.” his tone was a bit softer now, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t, or forced to be, close to him. He didn’t like your anxiousness, worried it would ruin his meticulous yet futile plans to make amends with you. 

You were still on edge as the butlers served a lavish meal to the both of you, your facial features failing to soften as you inspected the food. He was fully aware of just how much damage he’d done to you and he wasn’t going to justify his behavior, only wanting to make you feel better. 

It was hard for him to stay silent, however, as you were continuing to look around and stare at the butlers.

“Is the sight of them bothering you?” the sound of his voice catching your attention. “I could have them move out of view if that would ease your nerves.”

He doesn’t get it. Maybe he pretends not to, choosing to ignore your uncomfortableness with him in favor of deluding himself.

“It’s not that, it’s just…” 

Your words couldn’t come out, you didn’t know what to say. Ask him to get rid of all the unnecessary escorts and open the hotel to the public again as this felt more like a standoff than a romantic dinner? You hated the silence between you, not that you wanted to speak to Illumi, you wanted to hear the chatter of other diners over the classy jazz music, the clinking of utensils as they enjoyed their meal.

“Oh?” he slowly tilted his head, his uncanny expression observing your every move and sound. It’s as if he was daring you to ruin it all with some sort of stupid comment; it’d give him a reason to drag you back to the estate and lock you away for good. 

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” you manage to finally say. It just wasn’t worth it.

He continues staring, features unmoving as you assume he’s thinking of various ways to brutally murder you. He only straightens himself.

“I see.” 

You’re internally thankful he dropped it, your shoulders drooping in relief as you watch him continue to eat unnaturally fast, a strange habit of his. When was the last time he’s blinked? You can’t stand him. 

Illumi obviously didn’t believe that you had nothing to share. He knew you well enough to guess that whatever you were about to say would’ve angered him, so you kept quiet in order to avoid problems. Good, you were learning. 

Silence fell over the two of you, increasing the tension in the air. He’d already finished eating, choosing to gaze at you rather than anything else. He was making you lose your appetite, but you somehow managed to finish your meal.

“Would you like dessert?” Illumi inquired, barely giving you enough time to chew and swallow your last bite before asking.

“No thanks.” you don’t explain why. The truth was that you didn’t want to sit in front of him any longer, you were tired of his eyes boring into you. 

“Are you sure?” he tilted his head again, pressuring you for a different answer.

“I’m sure.” 

You wouldn’t budge, much to his dismay. You had unknowingly foiled his plans to spoon feed you a strawberry sundae. 

“Very well.” he doesn’t push any further, only slowly nodding. “Did you enjoy the food?”

“Yummy.” 

Illumi didn’t immediately react to your childish response, only straightening himself after a few moments. He had made sure this dinner would be perfect, planning everything to the last detail, and you’ve shown your gratitude by looking at everything other than him and rating his endeavor with a one word answer. 

He remained still for a few more moments before deciding to ignore your strange behavior once again. He stood up from his seat, looking away from you for the first time since he’s sat down. 

“Let’s go.”

You follow him as commanded, taking clear note of his slight annoyance. He led you to the hotel’s theater, the sound of your footsteps slightly echoing in the large, spacious room. He picks two spots in the center and takes a seat, you follow suit. 

Choosing to stay silent, you don’t ask any questions about what movie the two of you were seeing, only staring forward as the lights turn off and the showing begins. Illumi had carefully selected this movie for you. It was lighthearted and fun, chosen specifically to improve your mood. The date wasn’t meeting his expectations, as you weren’t quite throwing yourself at him, but he was determined to change that. 

You tried your best to ignore his constant glancing in your direction for the entirety of the film. It was as if he was looking for something, for reassurance to soothe his ever growing concerns. He didn’t like your indifference, he didn’t like that he couldn’t tell how you were feeling in detail about his attempts at courtship.

The movie was good, you liked it. Illumi was already staring at you by the time you faced him, the credits rolling on the screen. It was subtle but he still looked upset, the image of you leaning away from him as if you were trying to put as much space as possible between the two of you was still fresh in his mind. 

He would break that physical barrier, desensitize you to his presence.

As you silently walk back to the suite, Illumi suddenly grabs your hand. Your heart jumps into your throat, fully expecting him to crush it as punishment for upsetting him. He stops walking and stares at you when you impulsively try to pull away, not saying a word as he gives you a second to collect yourself. 

You were ruining his passionate act of love. He knew he wasn’t the most expressive, as he was raised to mask his emotions, but his straightforwardness made up for that. You should be happy. This is an act of love. He had done his research — asking his father — and knew what he needed to do in order to please you. He won’t let you spoil it. 

Eventually you somewhat simmer down, still tense in his firm hold. He continues walking, slower this time. He wasn’t even holding your hand correctly as yours was balled into a fist. He didn’t care though, as long as he was holding it.

The night hadn’t gone his way but he had plenty more tricks up his sleeve, optimistic that tomorrow would be better. Illumi would not put up with failure. 

You were in for a ride.

You reach and enter the suite once again, Illumi locking the door behind him. He lets out a sigh and begins to settle down, having no issue kicking his shoes off and changing clothes right in front of you. You, however, move to sit stationary on the lounge chair, staring at the ground to avoid any awkward interactions with your naked “husband”. 

You had no desirable reaction to anything he did, which he found disheartening. You finally look up when he’s fully clothed, watching as he sits on the edge of the bed. He decided to risk it, to ask about your experience. He figured a blunt and bold answer would be significantly better than overthinking and assuming the worst. “Did you enjoy anything I did today?”

Truth be told, you did. You just didn’t like him. Had anyone more deserving taken the time to do this for you, you’d throw yourself all over them. 

“It was the typical Illumi experience.” 

You regretted saying that before it even left your mouth. “The typical Illumi experience” was not a compliment, it was a brutal insult disguised with subtlety. You had just compared his month’s worth of intensive planning and preparing to a regular day being around him back at Kukuroo Mountain. 

Something you didn’t like flashed in his eyes, your fingers nervously grip your pants yet again. What you’d just said was so dismissive, condescending, everything he didn’t want to hear. He turns away from you, looking out of the glass balcony door as he takes several slow and deep breaths. He was collecting himself.

He reasoned in his mind, internally arguing that this was his chance to dissect your feelings and see how he could improve. He turns toward you, expression unreadable. “Elaborate.”

“Am I allowed to express myself?” you ask, your question was legitimately innocent. However, you were saying all the wrong things at the wrong time. 

“You were always allowed to express yourself, you just seem to have a habit of doing it disrespectfully.”

“I’m sorry.” you lower your gaze, apology insincere. 

You don’t know why he’s changed. You can tell that he’s being softer with you. If you said something like that a few months ago, you’d be unable to speak for the next two weeks. 

“Do you harbor resentment towards me?”

That was a rhetorical question. He didn’t want an answer; an answer other than a loud, confident “no” anyways. 

You stay silent, continuing to stare at the ground. He didn’t acknowledge that your silence was your way of saying yes. 

“Are we going back tomorrow?” you ask, changing the subject in order to lessen the heavy atmosphere. 

“Back to Kukuroo Mountain?”

“Yes.”

“No.” Illumi doesn’t provide further details. This trip won’t end unless it’s on a good note. “You should get changed.”

He stands up and rummages through the wardrobe, pulling out a silk pajama set. You slowly stand and retrieve it, making your way to the bathroom to change. He assumes you’re just being shy. You eventually come out, having put your dirty clothes into the hamper, before making your way to the lounge chair once again. The lights have been dimmed in your absence.

He was sitting up in bed, halfway under the blankets, staring at you expectantly. You didn’t want to come to terms with the reality that you had to sleep in the same bed as him; that fact wasn’t lost on him. It was obvious you were avoiding having to deal with the inevitable conclusion of the night by seeking comfort on the lounge chair. He wouldn’t allow you that comfort. “Come to bed.” his tone was flat, it was an order. 

“I’m not tired yet-”

“Come to bed.” he wasn’t hearing your excuses, only repeating himself while patting the empty space next to him. You look at him with a saddened expression, silently pleading to be let off the hook; the issue is that he’s let you off the hook multiple times today already and he wasn’t planning on letting you rob him of this. “Do as I say.”

Sensing the impatience in his tone, you reluctantly head over to your side of the bed and slide under the blanket, making sure to curl up as close to the edge and as far from Illumi as possible. You face away from him, silently making it clear you weren’t interested in anything other than sleep. He doesn’t comment on this, choosing to stay silent as he thinks to himself. He wanted to hold you, but he knew not to push too far. At least not so soon.

He sighs, continuing to sit up in bed as he watches your sleeping figure. Tomorrow will be a better day, he’ll make sure of it. 

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Messages from my Goddess to you 🌊🐚 Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for their corresponding message.

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Pile One 🌊

Shame is the lowest that you can feel in life because it represents the disparity that we have for ourselves. What keeps you stuck in shame, is the indecision of whether you feel worthy enough to rise above it to either improve yourself for the better or to finally open your eyes in the ways that you are already better and that you need to instill more trust into who you are. You could be feeling very exposed at the moment, like maybe you're talking too much, maybe you shouldn't have done that, and the only way to escape this rut, is if you crawl into hiding, or for just one day at least, you could change into a whole different person. Yemaya wants to let you know that your grip on control in how you are perceived, is what's ironically leading you to a fall. You've spent so long trying to weave your way from being vulnerable and disassociating from your emotions, that you can't recognize what's actually trying to be voiced to you. You're not spiraling, you're feeling. It feels like you're going crazy, because it is crazy to try to turn your emotions into something that they're not because of how you want to be perceived. The same way that you don't debate your happiness is the same respect that you should have for the feelings that you keep in the dark. You don't run away from the sadness, the dissatisfaction, the anxiety, the anger, the insecurity, or the jealousy because it doesn't change the fact that it's still there. It's going to be very uncomfortable, it's even going to bring us to our lowest that scares us the most, which is to be ashamed, but just like how shame can create the illusion that we're stuck in places that we're actually not, it's the gateway that poses the question, "now what do we do next?".  It's how we heal, and it's how we evolve.

Pile Two 🌊

What if I told you that one day, is all it takes for the wheel of fate to spin in your favor? That reliving that situation over and over in your head won't hurt as much anymore and is something that you will surpass? For some of you, it's closer than expected, for others, Yemaya wants to let you know that what feels impossible to bear is what you're capable of coming out on top of in the end. You're approaching a newer start in finding alignment in your life by taking the pieces of the past that left you puzzled to accumulate more wisdom that you can bring into not just your own situations but for the people that you come across and a boost in developing strength and trust in your intuition. Intellect doesn't just come primarily from books, there are certain experiences that must endure, to truly understand why and how we can approach our circumstances. In regards to your healing, you may feel like you aren't really healing at all, but the beauty in your journey is learning how much freedom plays a part in your progress. You gotta free yourself from being too harsh with how you think you should be or how far you think you're behind, because you're overlooking the many ways that you're actually right on time and the immense transformations that you have made and to rethink about what it means to heal. Healing comes in waves, and it's a never ending cycle, one of your biggest blockages is chasing after a concept that's derived from a man made perspective. What works for someone else, may not work for you, and vice versa. But this stage of awareness that you're entering, is the realization of just how intimately personal your journey is for you.

Pile Three 🌊

You're gracefully attaining more authority over your life and walking firmly away from the people and situations that made you feel powerless. You're blooming with self-love and strengthening your self-awareness with understanding what makes you thrive the best. When it comes to the traits or habits that hinder you, you're deciphering which of those that you can work on to break away from and the traits that you can make peace with to help advance in your life in a different way. You could relief, you could feel rewarded, but there are times where you could feel speechless or not quite whole despite the many accomplishments you're achieving. This could stem from a part of you that still mourns in regret over your actions in the past. Whether this is you, or someone else that is trying to bring you down to who you once you were, you must remember that as you're moving on to the next chapter of your life, you must extend gratitude and self-love to the versions of yourself in the past that weren't aware of what you know now. Despite the things that may have been embarrassing or disappointing that you may have done out of not realizing your worth, every phase that made you the person that you are now, is deserving of grace and to be seen as beautiful.

[ariesmoontarot]

Important Message From Spirit🦋

The Piles:

Book A Personal Reading Here

The collective is in this very emotional energy. It’s like feeling so imaginative, passionate, in love (even if you don’t have a lover), & so sad and lonely at the same time. We’ve been feeling everything so deeply and our intuition is extremely heightened during this time. We’re very sensitive to energies and other peoples feelings, even our own feelings. This reading is timeless so whenever you come across this, it’ll be meant for you.

♡Pile One♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you might’ve found love in the city, out of town (or they were out of town), you could be from a city or the other way around, but overall there’s this energy of looking for spiritual love. You want a deep connection that connects you to deeper parts of yourself. For some of you it could be that maybe you are finding love within yourself and learning to live in your truth. I see you expressing yourself authentically and being open and honest about how you feel and what you’re thinking. I also see some of you having a conversation with someone who will be expressing how they truly feel for you.

Channeled Song: We Found Love -Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris ( when she says “we found love in a hopeless place”) Hey There Lonely Girl -Eddie Holman (when he says “hey there lonely girl, lonely girl, don’t you know this lonely boy loves you”.) , Confidence -Ocean Alley (when he says “It’s all about confidence, babyyy”.)

I’m seeing you in this soft, nurturing energy. You’re loving yourself more, taking care of those around you, for some of you taking care of your kid(s), family, & the things you cherish most. You’re feeling really appreciative or you will be. I also see that someone has really nice eyes. Could be blue, light brown, or greenish hazel. Spirit is saying that you’ve been really patient, dedicated, & efficient. You’re putting in efficient effort into your priorities, goals, & connections. For some of you I’m hearing you’re focusing on nature or connecting with animals, taking care of animals/pets. Take that how it resonates. You’re reaping some type of reward for your hard work and discipline and it’s related to a relationship or important connection in your life. I’m hearing you’ve healed something that was hurting you and you’ve learned to love yourself and the things around you more deeply. You’ve connected to your roots and strengthened your faith and in doing this, you’ve removed illusions and feelings of confusion because you’re more grounded within your energy. You were feeling stuck in a temporary situation and it could’ve been in a connection for some of you. It was causing anxiety, stress, fear, & imbalance in your life. It definitely took up a lot of your thoughts and I’m seeing a change happening where you’re taking back your power and gaining control over your mind. Now isn’t the time for you to do anything impulsive or risky. Like diving into some kind of situation that you know isn’t good for you, that will resonate for some of you. It’s like someone left you out in the cold, kicked you while you were down, wasn’t there for you when you needed them most and everytime you’re thriving, looking good, healthy etc. they want to come back in and try to trick you into focusing on them or what you could’ve had with them. Don’t let this person in your energy for those that resonate with this. For my feminines I feel like you’re finally tapping back into your loving, compassionate, and nurturing energy. You’ve manifested communication with someone that you share a deep connection with and I’m sensing you really trust this person or you will. It can be a friend, lover, family, whatever. There’s distance between you and I feel like you’ve both been alone for some time. You’ve spent time in solitude, self reflecting, and so has this person. Trust your intuition and how you feel. I feel like this is a connection that is meant to heal you and it will bring you so much joy and happiness. it is the type of connection that will heal your inner child and bring back out your creativity. I feel like whenever you met or got closer to each other you both were in a period of your life where there was a lack of faith and hope. It’s like where hard times meet and end for the both of you. Not necessarily end, but they get so much easier to deal with when you’re with this person or have each other in your lives. Both of you could’ve grew up in families, or in an urban city/ place that was of low income. This connection is divinely guided. For those of you where this is a romantic situation, I see them hiding how they truly feel about you behind this cold demeanor because they’re still learning how they feel so they can better understand it. However, they are very honest and blunt with you. I feel like they could be a little distant at times or when you communicate with them it’s very quick and doesn’t necessarily last for that long. The conversations are short between you. They’re very patient and kind towards you. I feel like they really value this connection with you. Romantically speaking, they want to take their time with you and I see them wanting a very long-term commitment with you. For others there is some type of investment that you and this person are working towards together and it will be successful spirit is saying. Things might feel stagnant like they are moving slow or not exactly going at the pace that you want but I feel like this is the pace that you need.

This person feels a little bit stuck right now because they are gaining clarity about how they feel and trying to figure out a way to offer you something. it’s like they’re trying to figure out a way to communicate with you that they want a relationship with you, and they want to be able to invest in a future with you but they need a little bit of time to come forward, but they will. For others I feel like there are some type of ideas or plans that are being made and this person involved needs time to be able to think about what they wanna do and how they wanna go about these plans. Romantically they don’t wanna lose you. They are already sad as it is because I feel like they know that you’re holding back a deeper part of yourself, and they want to see and experience that deeper part of you. They want you to express your love for them and they want you to be nurturing and I’m seeing that they think that you are their person and they are hiding how they feel because of fear. They’re also letting go of bad habits and their pride. What’s next for you guys in romantic situations, I see this person coming in fast and they’re ready to tell you how they feel because I feel like they can’t see life without you in it you make them so happy and having you in their life feels like a blessing. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow but it’s coming really really soon. For those of you in other situations that aren’t romantic I see this person getting really inspired by something and that specific idea or feeling that they have, they’re going to tell you about it and it’s going to be something that is really smart and it will make the both of you very happy. For those of you who have kids and it’s not with this person, I see you getting in a relationship with them and they’re being very loving and supportive with you and your child or children. They want to take care of you.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Two♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you’ve been very emotional and tapping into a deep part of yourself. You could be spending time alone, meditating, & learning more about who you are and what you believe in. Spirit is helping you learn to be more honest with yourself and others about how you feel and developing healthy ways of expressing it. Life could be flowing easily and I’m getting this energy of peace and serenity.

Channeled Song: No Air - Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown (the part where she says “if I should die before I wake, it’s cause you took my breath away. Losing you is like living in a world with no air.”)

There’s a connection in your life that you’ve been really patient about and I feel like things haven’t progressed the way you wanted. I’m hearing you put so much energy into it, but this person involved hasn’t shown up and offered you anything. You’ve put your focus and intention on loving yourself and those you cherish. You’re also focused on your responsibilities. 1111 can be significant. Communication, understanding, and honesty has been so hard with this person because when you try to talk to them it’s like they come off so cold and turn everything into a disagreement. They give you the cold shoulder and try to undermine you. I’m seeing that they always make it seem like things are harder for them and don’t consider your feelings, what you’re thinking, or even what you’re saying. It’s like talking to them is a losing game. However you’ve been independent, determined, confident, loving, & nurturing. You haven’t let this situation affect you. Or at least you aren’t anymore. You’re standing your ground. I’m seeing you manifesting clarity & you’re learning a very important lesson here. This person hurt you and has no intention of showing up the way you need them to. This could be a past person for a lot of you. They were blocking your blessings because you’ve held on and waited for them meanwhile they didn’t acknowledge it. You felt stuck and didn’t want to free yourself because you loved them. However it caused a lot of anxiety, confusion, indecision, & fear for you. It imbalanced your spiritual and emotional side. For a lot of you it’s that there’s a past person you’re holding onto that must be let go of in order for your blessing to be revealed. There are illusions and deceit in your life. Maybe it’s you just deceiving yourself because you know this person isn’t good for you. You’re self sabotaging yourself by allowing someone who’s only holding you back stick around. You don’t need this person, you want them. They don’t benefit you. You were drowning in emotion trying to save this person and just simply love them, but I’m hearing it’s time to let go. If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you then it’s for you, but if it doesn’t then you’ll know. Sometimes people will come back just for unhealthy reasons tho but when I say come back I mean come back and show up. Im hearing you take no chances of missing out. You’ll love someone for as long as you possibly can. You’ve been tossed to the side, left behind, lied to, and pushed away, but you still love endlessly. It’s time for that chapter of your life to end. You’re stepping into a new phase of your life and all that being breadcrumbed, confused, misled, lied to, and manipulated is in the past. You’re setting boundaries and you no longer tolerate it. I’m seeing you have the upper hand in a situation and you’re abundant. With energy, resources, whatever it is you may be abundant in you are able to share this with people who need it. I’m hearing you’re generous with your time and energy and you don’t mind spending quality time with those who need a light in their life. There is multiple energies around you. Multiple people who want your attention. I’m seeing you have your eyes set on what you want and you know exactly what that is. You want a deep connection with someone you can trust and commit to. I’m hearing you’ve checked out. You’ve put your emotions aside and now you’re giving off more of this intellectual energy. More aware, understanding, honest, smart, strategic, & blunt. You have very good discernment. Especially when it comes to other people’s energies and what is good for you and what isn’t. Trust what you know. Right now I’m having a hard time getting your messages out and I feel like spirit is saying the focus is you. You are the main highlight right now and you’re stepping into this divine feminine energy. If you don’t have feminine energy you’re stepping into a more intuitive, empathetic, nurturing energy. You are a healer whether you know it or not but you attract people who need you and your energy.

Just be careful not to let others drain you. Whatever blessings are coming for you spirit isn’t revealing too much. You’re diving deep into self reflection and spiritual awareness and I’m seeing you aren’t focused on love or relationships. Those come when you aren’t expecting it. Right now spirit is teaching you important lessons.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Three♡:

Based off the picture you chose I’m getting this energy of you feeling a bit melancholic and nostalgic in a bittersweet way. You’re spending time alone and focusing on tapping in with yourself because you’ve been feeling detached and disconnected from your feelings, maybe even your surroundings.

Channeled Song: Lose Control -Teddy Swims (specifically heard the part when he says “problematic, problem is I want your body like a fiend, like a bad habit. Bad habits hard to break when I’m with you. Yeah I know I can do it on my own, but I want that real full moon black magic, and it takes two.”)

I’m seeing that there are outside factors disrupting your life. It’s like situations that happen may feel like nothing ever goes your way. You’re holding back so much love and emotion and in this energy of hiding your love, hiding how you feel, being closed off emotionally, & feeling like you’re having a hard time letting go of emotions from your past. Maybe you’re having a hard time letting go of the way someone has made you feel. It’s like the feeling of rejection is weighing on you and maybe because of that hurt you’re isolating yourself and feeling lonely. You’re keeping yourself from being able to open up emotionally in connections. You know how you feel and why it is you feel the way you do but you’re still holding onto that hurt due to fear and anxiety. There is someone that God has for you and I’m seeing they will help you see through the illusions of your own emotions. Maybe even your pride is in the way. However this person is very emotionally intelligent and understanding they can just come off as very private at times. They know when to speak and they’re both logical and Intuitive when it comes to expressing themselves. They can be very passionate and flirty at times and sometimes be very rash about what they say or do. There’s a feeling either you’re feeling like you aren’t being appreciated enough or they are but I feel like spirit is telling you to step it up. Don’t hold back. Be open and free spirited. Allow yourself to feel and enjoy the feeling of love. Maybe you overthink too much at times and don’t allow yourself to feel. Some of you take your person for granted by not being emotionally there and making sure their needs are being met too. You’re very guarded about letting them in because of your boundaries. Spirit wants you to do what brings you joy. Don’t keep the sun out of your life because you’ve been hurt. I’m also hearing that no matter how other people act or what they say, never stop being you. You can come off with this very rigid and vain energy at times and I’m hearing it’s your ego. Listen to your intuitive side and give the love you want to give. Don’t listen to your fear. You are holding yourself back from receiving the love spirit wants you to receive. You’re hurting yourself because you won’t open up about how you feel to someone. I feel like you avoid conflicts and have a fear that you opening up about how you feel will start an argument. Know that hiding how you feel and refusing to communicate will only make things worse for you. It’s okay to feel passionate and excited. It’s okay to want someone and it’s okay to express how you feel to that person. I also feel like you don’t open up when you’re sad and you try to hide everything. Not everyone can read your mind. If you feel really overwhelmed take some time for yourself and then open up when you feel ready. Try to balance yourself out so your love life can be balanced as well. The more you’re in harmony with yourself and in tune with your emotions the more your love life improves. You miss opportunities when you refuse to make a choice and stay in a period of inaction. If you know what you want then act on it instead of letting the world make decisions for you. You will feel so much better when you allow yourself to do what you feel guided to do. Treat your partner with lovingly and morally. I feel like you want marriage and there is someone you deeply love in your life. This connection has the potential to lead to marriage. All you have to do is be honest. Even if this relationship doesn’t work out with the person you have in your life right now, you being honest and open will help you evolve and learn new lessons you need in order to move forward. I am seeing a positive result coming from your honesty though. Be sure that you know what you want before you act on it and plan your approach before taking action. All you need is confidence, courage, and drive. I feel like you’re picky about your lovers and so is this person. You both need independence and your own alone time.

Spirit is saying to be patient when it comes to this person. You both feel the same about each other honestly. I feel like if you say I love you to each other it’s genuine. If you haven’t said it yet you both love each other unconditionally. You’re ready to move forward and come towards your person. You might be scared because financially maybe you don’t feel stable and that creates insecurity within you but know that it’s okay. You don’t have to feel insecure about it with this person. Or with anyone for that matter. You may not be where you want to be financially but you don’t have to let that stop you. They think you are very intelligent and it’s a turn on for them. They are so attracted to the way you think and I feel like they admire the way you see life. They feel like you are their person and the relationship with you is very strong. It’s best to treat each other with gentleness and empathy because this relationship is very passionate so sometimes if not treated the right way anger or frustration can be an issue. You both want the traditional structured relationship and I’m seeing very high potential for this to happen. Be positive and do what you feel guided to do!! Pile one might resonate with some of you.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Four♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you’re gaining clarity on a situation you didn’t see clearly before. Spirit is showing you the truth about something you’ve been feeling and it might be a truth that hurts, but it also lifts a weight that was holding you back or stagnant. It doesn’t have to be a truth that hurts though, that’s only for some!

Channeled Song: Counting Stars -OneRepublic (it’s crazy to me because in this song he says “in my face is flashing signs, seek it out and ye shall find.” And obviously lightning flashes)

You’re feeling a bit sad and disappointed because of a situation that happened in the recent past. I feel like you’re focused on the hurt rather than the positive side of things. Spirit is saying there are opportunities that are for you right now but you aren’t seeing them because you’re focused on negative feelings. However there is a wish fulfillment or something happening for you that will inspire you and give you hope. It’s like a divine revelation. You must get out of your own way. There are negative thoughts and fears circling your mind and this leads to self sabotage and constant hopelessness. There is abundance, love, happiness, and so much more waiting for you but you must let go of your worries. It’s easier said than done but when you tell yourself there is better you will eventually start to believe it. I see a romantic connection in store for a lot of you. For others I feel like a truth about a connection in your life has been revealed and it’s made you sad but it was for your own good. Things haven’t progressed the way you want them to but it’s because you aren’t focused on watering whatever it is you want to grow. I feel like some of you got clarity about how you feel towards someone and because you’re focused on how disappointed you are from other situations you’re not focused on this person. However they are abundant, nurturing, empathetic, intuitive, supportive, and understanding. They have love for you and I feel like they will understand how you feel if you open up to them. For others you’re not watering yourself enough. You aren’t loving yourself or realizing how much of an inspiring, kind, intelligent, divine being you are. Spirit wants you to devote more time and energy to yourself. I feel like communication with someone is happening very soon and there will be clarity and understanding in this conversation. Things will be balancing themselves out pretty quickly but there is a need for honesty. Take that however it resonates. I feel like some of you feel pessimistic about love and moving forward in life but spirit wants you to open up and enjoy the beauty of it. There are better times ahead and I feel like you are going to be receiving some type of good karma for all the hard work you’ve done in the past. You’ve been through so much and God is blessing you with something that will bring you so much peace. Just try to open yourself up to it and let go of the unnecessary burdens you’ve been carrying. Whatever hardships you’ve been facing I see you overcoming them and coming out stronger, more confident, & resilient. I also see you letting go of bad habits and making commitments to a very important job, person, or investment in your life. There will be plenty of opportunities coming your way.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

[sevensoulmates]

7x05 Buddie Meta YDKM Part 3 (of 4)

Part 1. Part 2. Part 4.

Eddie. I cannot stress this enough. If this was a partner that you actually had a good relationship with, you could go home and talk to them, tell them your feelings. Hell, you should feel safe enough just to say, "hey, I don't feel like having sex right now" and your partner should be able to accept it.

Why does the idea of saying no to sex terrify Eddie? There is a stigma that men are always supposed to want sex, and when they don't, that automatically means something's wrong, either with the man or with their partner. A lot of women might think they're the problem. One could argue maybe he doesn't want Marisol to feel bad, but if that was the case, then he would be doing his damndest to reassure her that he just needs a minute with the nun thing and not to take it personally. Instead, he avoids her, doesn't respond to her messages, and now--looks very panicked at the idea of her possibly trying to initiate sex with him. Which is kind of hilarious because what makes you think she even wants to have sex with you right now after you've been avoiding her all day?

This is another interesting line because it suggests that Eddie finds sex to be a chore. An obligation. Something he must provide his partner in order to keep them satisfied, and something that he's always done just to please his partner. I'm not saying he gets no pleasure from sex with women, but it doesn't feel to me like sex is really something Eddie really likes all that much just for himself if it's something "he'll get through somehow." I understand that this is a joke on Buck's end, but it's still written into the show on purpose, and sometimes jokes are just ways to cover up speaking the truth.

I want to talk some more now about Perception, specifically how both Buck and Eddie felt perceived this episode in ways that made them uncomfortable. For Buck, he was experiencing for the first time what it feels like for the world at large to perceive him as a queer man. Seeing eyes everywhere when no one was really watching. And for Eddie, it's the same, except instead of society perceiving him it's God. Both society and "God" are both entities that are known to be judgemental overall. But my question is, why does Eddie feel judged for sleeping with a woman who never even made the final steps to become a nun?

Buck is right, if God is an omniscient presence he would've always been watching, so why now does the idea of an All Powerful Being perceiving Eddie having relations with a woman terrify him so much? Is he afraid of "someone" knowing what actually runs through his head when he's being intimate with a woman? Is he ashamed that he's not actually as into it as he appears to be? Maybe now that the catholic guilt has been brought back up in Eddie consciousness, the thoughts are spilling through, and he's not able to stop them this time, and he's scared that someone, God, or society, or whoever, will see that he's not actually as into women as he wants people to believe. All of this is something I don't think he's realized. It's just as much unconscious to him as Buck's bisexuality was to him last episode. But something is bound to happen that finally clarifies it for Eddie.

He comes to the conclusion that he has to break up with her. But when confronted, he says he doesn't actually want to break up with her. Why? Because she just moved in. Not because he "really likes her" or because "he wants to build a life with her" or because "he wants her there" or because "he wants a relationship with her", it's because it's inconvenient because she just moved in and it makes him look bad (honey, far too late). He doesn't actually want to be with Marisol, he just likes the idea of cohabitating because it gives the illusion of a family without actually having to put any effort into building and strengthening it. This is exactly like how in the scene previous, he admits to Bobby that he liked being married, not necessarily that he loved Shannon. He just loved being married to her. This is the exact same thing.

This showcases Eddie's fundamental misunderstanding of both Tommy AND Buck. He has his blinders on the entire episode, and he walks a fine line between just misunderstanding or being willfully ignorant. The same way he doesn't see Buck and Tommy's queerness is in my opinion, the same way he doesn't see his own queerness.

Eddie's facial expressions here--Gosh, hats OFF to Ryan!! He really looked like he was shaken to the core. Especially his face in the last still. You can tell he did not see it coming at all. Because for "manly men" like Eddie, Buck, and Tommy, he's probably never even thought of it being a possibility for people like them.

This is especially evident when his first thought is not of Buck being queer, but of Tommy. And I don't think this is because he's surprised more about Tommy, or is not putting enough emphasis on Buck. I think it's more so that Eddie is aware that Tommy and he have A LOT in common, so much so that Eddie probably heavily identified with Tommy, and to have this part of Tommy be something so "different" from what Eddie expected is more shocking to him in the moment. Because if a man like Tommy (Eddie's narrative mirror) is queer, then what does that say about Eddie? I think that's why his first thought is about Tommy.

It might also be because it's easier for Eddie to process Tommy's queerness in the moment than it is for him to process Buck's queerness. In the same way that Buck was so unsure of why he was so hesitant to tell Eddie, Eddie might be struggling to comprehend Buck's queerness and what that means for them and their relationship without appearing to be unsupportive.

Additionally, it's interesting that Tommy's queerness never came up in conversation since it seemed like Tommy and Eddie got pretty close and "clicked" in a very short period of time. Is it possible Tommy is supposed to contrast Buck here? Buck says "Tommy just doesn't offer that information up". Maybe Tommy is also aware of how supposed "straight" men react when they learn that someone like him is into men. It provides an interesting contrast to Buck, who was so anxious about telling Eddie because he worried about how it would affect their relationship in particular, whereas Tommy just opted not to tell him at all just because he doesn't tell people unless they ask.

Buck asks if this is weird for Eddie, but Buck is aware that Eddie is not a homophobic person, and therefore wouldn't need to be worried (like Tommy could've been since he's only just met them both three weeks ago). Buck's known Eddie for six years, he knows Eddie knows plenty of queer people and has never had an adverse reaction to them. But this is personal because Buck knows that he's one of, if not the closest adult in Eddie's life. If Eddie is uncomfortable with Buck, it ruins their entire...everything. This says to me that Buck knew that by telling Eddie about this something would change, but he just doesn't know what.

I told myself if Eddie said any statements in this episode along this line, anything that felt like it was in the same vein as "no homo" that it would signal to me immediately that they were going to go there with Eddie's sexuality storyline, and this counts for me.

Eddie, it should be a given that you don't like Tommy in the same Buck does. No one in the room is accusing Eddie of being queer, and yet he says this all on his own for no reason other than to purposefully distance himself from queerness. All of which point to internalized homophobia. A person who was secure in their straight sexuality would not feel the need to clarify that they are straight (making it a bit about yourself there, huh, Eddie?) immediately after a close loved one just came out to you.

This is not a scenario where someone's coming on to Eddie and he has to say "no, sorry I'm not into men." This isn't someone asking him point blank, "are you gay?" and he says no. Nowhere in this conversation was there anything that Buck said that could've made Eddie feel like he was also being accused of queerness and yet Eddie feels the need to make it known that is in fact, not gay.

Eddie, a confident straight man, should understand that this convo is about Buck's queerness, not whether or not Eddie is being perceived as queer. This coming right after he looked so shocked about Tommy, when the last two episodes spent a lot of time painstakingly telling us that HEY! HEY! EDDIE AND TOMMY ARE SUPER ALIKE!

Eddie. My guy. Your queer realization arc is coming and of that I am certain.

This line read to me in the same way as the line in 7x01: "but with only one [gender] is there underlying sexual tension". This line, spoken by Buck, was disproven in episode 4. This line here from Eddie is put there to eventually be challenged. This line has two meanings, which is that of course the foundation of their friendship will not change because of Buck's queerness, but it does signal to the audience that some part of their relationship will change. What could that be? The only thing that makes sense at this point in the story is for the romantic aspect of their storyline to finally be explored. I think this is foreshadowing that story that's likely going to come at some point down the line. I don't know if it'll be this season, but it's going to come, of that I'm sure now.

Bucktommy as a direct parallel to Eddiemarisol is so interesting because whereas with Buck you can tell that he genuinely has interest in Tommy, it's heavily juxtaposed by how uninterested in Marisol Eddie has acted pretty much since the second they got together in season 6. Even Eddie's face here looks like he's thinking "wish I knew what that felt like". Don't get me wrong, I do think that Eddie wants a real connection, but I think he thinks that if he just stays with a woman for long enough one will just develop through proximity alone. But that's not how relationships work. It didn't work with Shannon and their relationship continued to be dysfunctional until the day she died. It didn't work with Ana, but that time, his physical reactions were enough to get him to break up with her. With Marisol, I think Eddie's at his patience end. He doesn't want to give up and be alone again. Or worse, have to start trying all over again. He doesn't want to fail again, because failing this time not only means failing himself but failing Christopher as well.

We just saw in 7x01 that Christopher believed that it wouldn't matter what he did, people (girlfriends in this case) would always leave. Christopher learned this from Eddie. Eddie deciding to stick it out with Marisol is both him desperately trying to grasp onto the possibility of a connection, but also a way to prove to himself and to Christopher that not all relationships have to end.

But in this case, Eddie's advice makes sense for Buck, because he's literally in the early stages of this relationship with Tommy, he's still trying to get to know Tommy, and he's trying to adjust to queerness for the first time in his life. For Eddie, this is at minimum a 4-6 month old relationship, one that he's just randomly decided to take "to the next level" and he did all of this without bothering to get to know Marisol AT ALL. That ENTIRE time. While it's true that Buck hasn't yet had a chance to figure it out what it is with Tommy, Eddie has had many chances before but has chosen not to take them. And I think when faced with the reality that he would giving up on yet another relationship, the prospect of failing yet again, he decides to go against what his gut is telling him and stays with Marisol.

I love that Eddie realized before he left that Buck needed physical assurance and gave it to him. This is their first hug in many seasons and it's a beautiful one. Eddie puts his thumb on Buck's pulse yet again, and I'm sure that was a very reassuring thing to feel, to know that Eddie still cares that deeply for him. He even puts his finger up and tells Buck to call Tommy, showing his support for Buck's relationship with Tommy, which was never a question that he would do. Because it's no question that Eddie loves Buck to the core, and he will always want Buck to be happy. He just hasn't figured out that his own happiness is possible specifically with Buck.

This entire scene also was physically blocked very similar to the scene in the episode right before, the scene that ended with Tommy kissing Buck. The only difference here was the topic of conversation and the fact that it ended in a hug and not a kiss. Buck lets out a sigh of relief as Eddie leaves, exactly the same way he let out a sign of relief after realizing his attraction to men.

Marisol's possessions in this episode have been a metaphor for who she is. Eddie's choice to look in the boxes at the beginning of the episode was him finally dipping his toe into learning who she is and he was uncomfortable with what he saw there, not because of Marisol, but because it reminded him that he's not being true to himself in this relationship. And now, he's given another chance here at the end. Marisol's metaphorical box is open, and an invitation for Eddie to take to get to know her more, and instead of wanting to get to know her, he says he "doesn't want to know what's in there". He admits that not only does he not know Marisol, but he doesn't WANT to get to know her.

In the same way, Eddie doesn't know the truth of who he is, he doesn't want to find out the truth. He doesn't want to open the pandora's box inside him and wade through the shit until he finds the tiny little bit of hope. Eddie would rather close the box and leave it closed and keep this relationship with Marisol going rather than try to dig deeper to figure out the real reason why this whole issue happened.

Marisol's reasons for not telling Eddie about the nun thing herself are understandable. She was worried about judgment, rejection, or possible fetishization. It makes sense to me why Eddie, in the end, was able to ask for just a minute to digest it. I think he realized that in the end, the nun thing isn't the whole dealbreaker here, it's something else. Something he's not willing to examine at this time. And since he's realized that the problem isn't Marisol, but him, he can move past the weirdness, and accept Marisol.

Because it's not Marisol he's accepting or rejecting, but the promise of a continued relationship in the future.

Marisol offers him a chance to back out, and you can tell that his first instinct (his "gut" reaction) is to take it. And yet....he adds a "yet". He keeps her on the hook, and he ignores the signs his gut is telling him. In an episode written partially by Taylor Wong who laid all the same "the universe is screaming" and "I do not panic" story threads, Eddie is once again ignoring them and going against his gut despite what he says next.

Eddie tells Marisol that he tends to rush his relationships, and this is true. Despite Eddie being so stubborn and hard to get to know most of the time when it comes to his romantic relationships, he over-commits. I've already talked about how he did the same thing with all of his relationships, including Shannon. He over-commits and under-delivers. I'm glad that they're pointing this out textually in canon because it's true and it's a large part of the issue, even though the root of it is not yet being explored.

However, him saying he "goes with his gut" and lets his head catch up later, is both a true and false statement. When it comes to his romantic relationships Eddie purposely ignores his gut, each and every time. When his gut tells him that he shouldn't bring Shannon back into his life, he ignores it (though this situation is a bit more nuanced). When his gut tells him something's wrong with his relationship with Ana, he says he's going to stick it out anyway. When his gut tells him to end things with Marisol, he doubles down.

The true part of this statement is that he lets his head catch up later. But the thing is that when his body tries to show him later on that something is wrong, whether that be through panic attacks or sexual dysfunction, he continues to ignore it or refuses to dig into it deeper. He still hasn't confronted the truth of his unhealthy relationship with Shannon. He didn't examine why his relationship with Ana didn't work, and he's not questioning himself deeply enough to ask why he's so deeply uncomfortable in his relationship with Marisol.

One thing is for sure, Eddie is an unreliable narrator. He has a hard time understanding his feelings let alone communicating them, and therefore whenever he says statements like these, I think it's worth it to always question it. Does it actually feel like he's telling the truth from a place of understanding, or from a place of what he wishes he could feel?

Go to part four (last part).

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

[merkavahpartyvan]

Reality Jumping: A Brief Manual for When You Become Somebody Else

The first time you jump, you jump forever.

There are a lot of ways to shift one's reality, to project into other realities, to warp awareness itself in a way that gets you outside your body, or feels like it. But the first leap is a doozy, made in necessity usually, an instinctive impulse to survive. Quantum leaping, or just 'jumping' for short, is the ultimate flight response--an escape so abrupt that reality itself is never the same for you.

How do we get here? Is there any way to achieve this without facing true danger? And is there any possible return to normalcy after reaching this strange state?

How do we get here: How to Leap

Evolution is an interesting means of empowering a species. Every danger your ancestors faced and survived had a chance of culling them away, but instead made them discover an ability that evolution granted them and not everyone else around them. Over time this guarantees that the strongest and most useful survival adaptations persist through a species, gradually strengthening the mass just as much as the first individuals to express the trait. But when I say evolution, I really mean natural selection, the ability of the natural/physical world to present challenges that our genetics either overcome or are defeated by.

Each challenge helps us discover either the natural gifts that our DNA grants us or some other survival tactic such as specialized training and knowledge. The natural gifts, the ones that don't require training, are very special. As they remain hidden until discovery, one can't know all of one's natural gifts without facing certain challenges that bring them forth.

This is why anyone can quantum leap, but they won't know how until they do it. It is an instinctual defense for someone who is in mortal danger, and therefore it's only discoverable if the self is convinced that circumstances are truly dire. One moment a person is faced with the possibility of death, and the next moment they are somewhere, somewhere, and someone else. It is the ultimate bullet dodge.

Can we achieve it without facing danger?

it is possible to make one's first leap without actually being in danger of losing one's life, but it can be very difficult because it requires tricking the self into believing the danger is real on a deep level. Many occult initiations have to do with facing death or some seemingly insurmountable foe and coming away completely changed by the experience. This is one way that a person can discover their ability. Another way is to be in a situation where it seems like there is mortal danger even if there isn't. This can be anything from an illusion to a near-miss to an incredibly immersive entertainment experience. The use of psychoactive drugs can sometimes increase the chances that the mind is fooled, especially if used in conjunction with a situation that seems dangerous even if it isn't. The increasing adoption of VR presents another option for initiation into one's first jump. All that is required, in the end, is for something to make one's instincts fire. The rest takes care of itself. Jumping is automatic, for better or for worse.

Will things ever go back to normal?

After one's first jump, the survival response is activated and jumping becomes possible. There is no way to deactivate the survival response once it was activated, so after the first jump, infinitely many are possible. In fact, it will probably serve one best if they jump a few times after the first time to get a sense of balance and find an equilibrium. You usually won't even need to try to find these first few jumping opportunities. Reality tends to want to teach the learning jumper how to find their footing. The reality of jumping often becomes the new normal.

The biggest challenge jumping presents is one of identity and self-definition. When one jumps out of their body, who jumps in while they're gone? If someone else is in one's body, and if one's self is in another person's body, then what does identity really mean after this happens? How to define one's self and what the self even is becomes a vital quest for the jumper at this stage. Gaining a deep understanding of identity helps pilot one's soul through space and time and gives context to the journey the jumper is now always on.

What happens to your body while you're gone?

Someone is always there to pilot the body. Often it is either an aspect of the subconscious or some part of the self that typically does not "front" day to day. It can also be another jumper that lands in your body at the moment you leave it. This can be an entirely different person from yourself or it can be another self of yours from a different time or reality or from a different lifetime of yours in the past or future. Who it will be is not entirely under your control, but it can be influenced by training, experience, and circumstances in your current reality. Jumping is like stepping through a revolving door--as you exit, someone else enters.

Often jumpers are people who are dreaming or unconscious, and they may be entirely unaware that they're experiencing another reality inside another person. If they're not aware they are jumping, they may default to what the body and brain is used to, performing basic tasks or jobs according to how you usually do them, carrying on conversations as if they're you until they too jump away and someone else (probably you coming back) jumps in. Think of it as an extremely immersive form of improv.

If the jumper is conscious they've jumped, then it's a bit more like Freaky Friday, where there is an awareness of the oddity of the situation and the need to keep up appearances of being a different person. Since there's very few people in this current reality who would believe a person who claimed to have jumped from one body to another, especially without any sort of physical evidence, most jumpers who are conscious they're in another person's body take every precaution to blend in and not be discovered. Call it the ultimate imposter syndrome.

What to do after you jump into someone else

If you find yourself in a situation where you are in another person's body, take care of the body the best you can and try to interfere as little as possible with the person's life. Try not to call undue attention to them. If you think you can help their situation in any way, try to be discreet. Also, be careful about making any bold moves until being sure of the situation. For instance, try not to spend much of the person's money without needing to, and try to make sure you're not putting them in a bad financial situation by doing so. If the person has loved ones or pets, take care to preserve their relationships and uphold their responsibilities. Do as you would hope the person you jumped into would do if they jumped into your body.

Whoever you jumped into, you may end up jumping into again in the future, especially if it was a compelling or enjoyable experience, and most especially if you bear similarities to the person, even superficial ones. Coincidences may drive some of the similarities, such as having the same first name or having lived in the same house but at different times. The overlaps may teach you something about yourself, the other person, and why you had an experience like this with them.

If you feel stuck or are worrying you will not make it back into your body, try not to panic or worry. This will only upset you and make your experience in said body worse. You will likely jump away and back to your own body soon, for instance when you go to sleep. You may also need to wait for the other person in your body to jump as well, so it may not be your decision when this happens.

The first jump can feel like forever

There's an experience among your early jumps where you will feel like you're jumping into every person that ever lived, one by one, with no way back into your own body. This is a normal experience and it is par of the way a jumper calibrates their ability and learns their range. It can be a bit difficult to handle in terms of personal identity. Know that you will eventually end up back in your own body and that you will probably end up back in it not long after when your jump started, even if it feels like an eternity has passed since you jumped out. Jumpers are able to leap through time as well as space.

Meditation, relaxation, and other forms of self care are very helpful after a leap, no matter what body you are in. When you take the time to slip into introspection, often your understanding will increase as you do so. New realizations about the nature of identity and reality may come to you now that you are in need of them. Allow your mind to teach you what happened. Reality itself will also teach you through coincidences and symbols that it presents to you with the sort of timing and context that will be very difficult to deny in the moment. Do not be intimidated by these incidents and instead know that reality is trying its best to empower you with knowledge and understanding of what is happening.

Jumping is a survival method that humans, and probably many other beings, have at their disposal once they've gone through a qualifying experience. Once you grow accustomed to doing jumps you may find them fun, informative, and a novel way of experiencing the greater reality we're all a part of.

[cero-sleep]

God's Favorite AU - Conclusion

@enigmaticcattic

Thanks to @eyenaku for beta reading!

Masterpost

You woke up slowly, dazed. The first thing you noticed was how dark it was. Quiet, to a point where the absence of sound could be described as loud.

You were alone, it seemed. You tried to move your arms but found yourself unable to. Skin scraping against a coarse material. Rope, you realized as you looked down. You were tied up to a chair. 

As you looked around trying to assess the situation you were in however, you heard the distinctive click of shoes on concrete. Someone was approaching.

You brazed yourself as the door to the room opened slowly, letting a ray of sunlight in. But when you saw your captor your heart dropped. "Illusion…"

They met your gaze, eyes full of mirth and a smirk painting their face as they spoke. "Ah, I'm glad to see you awake, my love." 

They wore a red collared shirt, with a few buttons undone and the sleeves pushed up, paired with black pants, gloves and formal shoes. Next to them was their assistant, who you swore was almost glued to their side. They stayed by the door however as Illusion approached you.

They walked around you slowly, like a predator circling its prey. Head cocked in a gesture of perceived superiority. 

They stopped right behind you. You let out a gasp as they roughly grabbed you by the chin. Your head forced in an unnatural angle as they made you look them in the eye.

"Like a beautiful butterfly caught in a spiderweb, I finally got you, my beloved."

You glared back at them as you tried to free yourself from their hold, but it was to no avail, their grasp on your chin only strengthening. Green eyes meeting lavender ones once again.

Their grin only widened at your failed attempts, they had the upper hand and they knew it. "Don't struggle, love. This is where you belong, in the palm of my hand." They finally let go, as they moved to stand in front of you. "Don't you think?"

"What happened to you?" You said instead. "This isn't like you, Illusion." 

They hummed. "Oh, but it is, dear. You just have to accept that this is the real me."

"The real you was mislead, yes, but they were kind, understanding and nothing like how you are acting right now."

Laughter. And then "Why can't you just accept my love!?" They shouted, voice laced with anger as they grabbed you by the shoulders, making the chair tilt forward. "You had no qualms with it before, so why now? Now that I'm somebody!"  

"Obsessing over someone is not the same as loving them, Illusion." You interjected just as angrily. 

They tsked, rolling their eyes as they let go of your shoulders, forcing the chair backwards to its original place with a loud thud.

"And besides that, what you are doing is simply wrong!" You said in defiance. "Harming innocents to your heart's content? This isn't you!" You repeated.

Laughter, loud and unrestrained. "Oh, but it is me! The old Illusion died when I put on the crown, but you should not mourn them, I know I don't, they were a pathetic excuse of a person after all."

You glared daggers at them. You would always mourn your old lover, that's something you knew for a fact, the person that stood in front of you wasn't them, not anymore, that much was clear.

"Aw, what's wrong, my sweet? Did I hurt your feelings?" They said mockingly, maliciously. 

"Illusion, stop it." You said, finality in your voice.

"Mmm, I don't think I will." They answered playfully. "You will see my way, darling. One way or another." 

[itsthemysterykids]

Can we get more bnha au?

Coraline has been wanting to be a hero ever since she got her “weak quirk” to create illusions

Quirkest Rando: Oh, you can’t be a hero. Try being a magician.

Coraline: I WILL SPITE EVERYONE!

Norman wants to be a hero just to show everyone that “villainous quirks” don’t exist. A ghost quirk is fucking awesome!

His best friend is Neil, a boy with a “heroic quirk” to make as many shields as he wants… Only to lose a lot of energy when he makes too many

They’re everyone’s problem at school and like to screw people over when they saw quirkist bullshit by making illusions of students doing embarrassing stuff and making a teacher’s coffee mug float away

Then while walking past the school lab, Wybie literally crashes into them thanks to another explosion

He’s an eccentric inventor aiming for UA’s support course even with his “heroic quirk”, [Censored by the Future CEO of Blacksmith Industries], but he keeps the hero course as an option, too

Wybie designs all sort of support equipment for them to strengthen their quirks and doesn’t skip out on any add-ons

Then it’s their last year of junior high, they’ve been training for months and are finally ready for the Hero Course Entrance Exam

Coraline uses her illusions to throw off the robots and have them destroy each other, Neil makes shields to protect some students and even throws some at the robots, Norman possesses one, and Wybie pulls a cannon out of nowhere and starts firing at the robots

Then comes the Zero Pointer and everyone is freaking the fuck out

Panicked when he sees the Zero Pointer about to crush one of the students, Norman sends a surge of energy all throughout the entrance exam location, destroying nearly every single robot and leaving many of the potential students dazed or confused… Then he passes out

Fortunately, the School’s Nurse, Aizawa-Yamada Eri is there to fix everyone up with her quirk, but no one can ever forget what the hell Norman just did

… Also, after taking the Exam, Wybie takes the Support Course’s Entrance Exam… So, yeah

A week passes and they all get their letters. Like best friends, they open them together and see holograms of the #8 Pro Hero, Convince. He welcomes them all into the Hero Course. And while he did get into the Support Course, Wybie chooses the Hero Course

Fast forward and it’s the first day of school, yay! They get to class and meet their new classmates, Lili Zanotto, Kubo, Dipper and Mabel Pines, Dib and Gaz Membrane who all got in on a recommendation, Raz Aquato, Eggs Trubshaw, Winnie Portley-Rind, Agatha Prenderghast, Kat Elliot, and Raúl Cocolotl

Their teacher is the #5 Pro Hero, Intel, and Dipper and Mabel’s great uncle

After orientation, Intel takes them out to the training field for some warmups. (Don’t worry, no one’s getting expelled, he’s just analyzing them and their quirks to see how far ahead they are with training)

Lili has pretty good control over her quirk and makes all sorts of plants to hinder her opponents, but she relies too much on them

Raz keeps getting his legs tangled when he stretches too far, so they’ll need to work on that

He’s guessing Kat has some sort of future vision since she always seems to know what someone is going to do before they do it

Raúl’s ink is good for traveling, almost reminding him of Pinky

Winnie’s quirk powers up her overall abilities, which will be good when in battle, but there is always room for improvement

Eggs’ burrowing quirk requires some good upper body strength, so until they can come up with a workout plan, arm braces will be needed

Coraline’s ability to create illusions seems to leave her with strained eyes, so that’s something to tell the Design Department about. Other than that, she has an amazing imagination

At first, Ford guessed Wybie was creating weapons from his lipids like Creati, but found out [Censored by Future Pro Hero, Blacksmith] Anyway, his hero uniform will need zippers

Norman and Agatha seem to have the same power, but are on very different levels, most likely due to their families suppressing their quirks… He’ll call CPS later

Dipper’s quirk was excellent during the “definitely not hide and seek” portion of the training as he was able to find everyone in under a minute, so he’ll be an excellent rescue hero

Mabel has obviously been practicing since she’s no longer getting tangled in her yarn anymore

He’s making a note to have Neil keep energy bars in his utility belt in the events he wears himself out when creating too many shields

He was… Not too terrified of Gaz or her teleportation, levitation, and pyrokinesis… He doesn’t want to question how she has a 3-in-1 quirk, and it’s best to leave it at that

Dib’s durability quirk is certainly one of the best he’s seen so far. He punched a wall without so much as a scratch on his fist. If no damage is to come to his uniform, he’ll need one made from his DNA

Kubo's quirk relies on him playing music, and while his whistling is good, he can’t keep it up forever, so an instrument is needed for his uniform, along with lots of paper

Once the school day is over, Mabel suggests that all of them should hang out and get to know each other better. Lili and Gaz would rather face a villain than do that, but Mabel is very good at convincing people… By that, I mean she ties people up in her yarn and drags them everywhere

Dib, being the conspiracy theorist he is believed that Norman and Agatha are distant relatives, hence their similar quirks, but they reject the idea every time he brings it up. And it’s not just them.

Dib: Wybie… Are you Creati’s secret love child, or something.

Wybie: … What?

This gets a few of them interested since they don’t know how his quirk works, and he’s not saying anything, no matter how much they bribe him

Then comes the day that they all (especially Mabel) have been waiting for… THEIR HERO UNIFORMS!

Coraline comes equipped with goggles for when her eyes get too strained, Wybie’s uniform has zippers and thermals, Dipper has a camera built into his costume, Lili has spray bottles for her plants to keep them around longer, Raz’s suit can stretch all across the country if one were to try, Norman’s is made from his hair so it becomes intangible with him, Mabel’s utility belt is made of an endless yarn so she always has some on her, Neil’s utility belt comes equipped with energy pills, Raúl’s boots are similar to Pinky’s so he can travel easier, Kat’s come with eye contacts so no one can tell when she’s using her quirk, Eggs has his arm braces, Winnie has those gauntlets she’s been begging for, Dib’s got his DNA suit, Gaz’s is something out of nightmares, Kubo’s comes equipped with a durable shamisen and water-proof origami paper, and Agatha’s is similar to Norman’s, but in lighter colors

In short, they look badass

Intel has them test out the features of their suits during another Battle simulation in case any changes are needed

This next simulation is a Heroes vs Villains exercise where they will get into groups of two, either hero or villain, and face off against another group of two, also either a hero or villain

And to make things harder, he has them pair up with people they don’t know

Heroes:

Lili/Kat

Wybie/Kubo

Dipper/Gaz

Norman/Eggs

Villains:

Coraline/Mabel

Agatha/Raúl

Raz/Neil

Winnie/Dib

It goes well as you can expect it to go for fifteen year-olds

Long story short… Explosion

… Well, enough of that, because let’s see them act like normal teenagers at the mall!

Norman: For most of my life, everyone always told me I had a villainous quirk, that all I’m good for is hurting people just because I accidentally possessed a classmate when I was five. So, that’s why I want to be a hero, to show everyone there’s no such thing as “villain” quirks.

Agatha: Amen.

Coraline: Respect. So, Kat, is Sir Nighteye like an inspiration for you?

Kat: *Sipping her smoothie* … Eh, not really. I just wanna freak villains out and show them their futures if they continue down their path.

Wybie: Well, you won’t cause a ton of collateral damage that way, so that’s good. You can make them surrender just by showing them their graves or mutilated bodies.

Kat: Exactly.

Students: …

Lili: … Well, on that dark note, Mabel. Not not curious, but why do you want to be a hero?

Mabel: Well, almost everyone else in the family is a hero, so Dipper and I thought it’d be cool to keep the legacy going. The Wonder Twin Duo, Yarn Queen and Expert Tracker!

Dipper: I did not agree to that name!

Mabel: But you love it!

Winnie: Also not not curious, Wybie. How does your quirk work?

Wybie: Look, it’s embarrassing, so let’s leave it at that.

Dib: I’m legally classified as a bulldozer, so I doubt you have anything to worry about.

Wybie: … I sweat metal, and I use it to create different weapons.

Dib: Boy, you nasty! *Gaz hits him over the head*

Gaz: I think that’s pretty cool

Fast-Forward a bit, and it’s time to pick hero names! Names will be approved by the Quick Hero, Sister Hightail

Coraline’s The Illusion Hero: Illusia

Wybie: The Creation Hero: Blacksmith

Dipper: The Sight Hero: Expert Tracker

Mabel: The Knitting Hero: Yarn Queen

Norman: The Ghostly Hero: Phantom

Neil: The Protective Hero: Shelter

Agatha: The Haunting Hero: Poltergeist

Kat: The Clairvoyant Hero: Hell Maiden

Raúl: The Creative Hero: Ink Blot

Dib: The Durable Hero: Unbreakable

Gaz: The Multi-Hero: Kraken

Raz: The Stretching Hero: Elasti-Guy

Lili: The Garden Hero: Ivy

Eggs: The Burrowing Hero: Excavator

Winnie: The Power-Up Hero: 1-UP

Kubo: The Origami Hero: Two-String

Then it comes up to the day where they face actual villains… AND THEY AREN’T READY FOR THIS!

They’re up against the Cipher League, a team who has pledged their allegiance to the greatest villain of all time, Cipher

Of course, they’re panicking, but one inspirational speech for Norman later, and they’re kicking ass

Kat: … Pyronica’s coming to you on your left.

Lili: *Sprays Pyronica with her bottles until her flames go out* Anything else?

Kay: Nah, the others are going after our classmates. Just keep spraying her down.

—

Dipper: *Keeping a lookout for Hectorgon* We need some kind of- *Hears a zipping sound and turns to see a broadsword coming out of Wybie’s arm* … Uh…

Wybie: I’d prefer if you didn’t watch.

—

Coraline: *Creating an illusion so she, Raúl, and Eggs can slip by Paci-Fire* Eggs, when I give the signal, you tunnel us outta hero. Then Raúl, block the entrance so he can’t get through.

After a ton of trauma, and their homeroom teacher would have been dead if not for Norman, it comes down to the week they’ve all be waiting for… The week of the Sports Festival!

Class 1-A is training until it hurts, not just to win, but to keep their spots in the class in case someone from Gen-Ed is gunning for it

Then it’s the day of the Sports Festival. Pro Heroes have come to watch, scout the students for potential interns, and just to have some quality entertainment. Yeah, nothing like watching powered kids battle.

First, is the Obstacle Race where hundreds of students put aside friendships and destroy each other for gold!

Lili, Raz, Wybie, Eggs, Raúl, Winnie, Dib, and Gaz are ahead, Norman and Agatha possess some faster-looking students to get ahead, Coraline creates illusions of obstacles to hinder the other students, after using her future vision, Kat hitches a ride on the fastest student, Kubo is creating eagles to fly him to the finish line by whistling, and Dipper and Mabel are hitching a ride on Mabel’s yarn snake

In First, Gaz, using her teleportation

In Second, Lili using her vines

In Third, Eggs burrowing himself to the finish

And, I won’t bore you with the rest, because now it’s time for THE SUDDEN DEATH- Whoops. I mean, CALVARY BATTLE!

And since Gaz won first… She’s the one everyone will be gunning for. She’s so terrified

Teams are formed, temporary enemies are made, and… BEGIN THE SUDDEN DEATH ROUND!

It’s chaos, but Gaz is scraping by. Fortunately, she has Raz’s stretching powers to snatch the headbands, Neil’s shield to block off any opponents, and Kat to predict any attacks

Coraline creates three illusions of her team (Raúl, Mabel, Dipper) to throw her opponents off, and manages to snatch a Gen-Ed student’s headband worth fifteen points

And the principal made it clear, ‘Malicious Intent’ is not allowed. Well, flower petal cannons aren’t malicious, now are they?

Lili/Wybie: *High five as they shoot flower petals in their opponents faces* Team Flowersmith for the win!

In the end, Coraline’s team comes out on top!

And it all comes down to the final event! The One on One Fighting Tournament! Our finalists are Gaz, Raz, Neil, Kat, Coraline, Raúl, Mabel, Dipper, Wybie, Lili, Norman, Kubo, Sam Manson, Tulip Olsen, Mirabel Madrigal, and Marco Diaz (Gotta have more characters)

First Round:

Norman Babcock vs Sam Manson: Sam’s shadow travel powers are not ideal for this setting, but she manages by pulling sneak attacks on Norman using the small shadows of the debris caused by his attacks. Unfortunately, he gets the better of her with his powers and comes out on top

Coraline Jones vs Mirabel Madrigal: Mirabel’s Quirk is one she calls Gift, a quirk that allows her to borrow the quirks of others for up to fifteen minutes. For this, she borrowed her sisters superstrength and ability to grow any plant. While she was thrown off by Coraline’s illusions a few times, she triumphed using Jacaranda’s signature Cactus Punch

Wyborne Lovat vs Neil Downe: Can Wybie’s numerous weapons defeat Neil’s shield? Let’s see! Having known Neil for years, Wybie knows that by his fifth shield, he’ll start to tire out, giving him a chance to strike. While Neil does surprise him by making a sixth and seventh shield, Wybie takes this moment to knock him out of the ring using a battering ram

Tulip Olsen vs Lili Zanotto: Tulip’s quirk allowed her to create clones of herself by looking in a mirror, and she just so happens to have a compact on her. Taking inspiration from Jacaranda, Lili delivers a powerful Cactus Punch, shattering the mirror clones and then pulling Tulip out of the ring using her vines

Gaz Membrane vs Raz Aquato: The acrobat vs the multi-quirk user! Gaz is able to throw Raz off using her teleportation and pyrokinesis, resulting in the boy turning into a tangled mess and resulting in her victory

Marco Diaz va Mabel Pines: Marco’s quirk allows him to turn his body parts into limbs based off of monsters from different mythologies. For this battle, he chose to give himself tentacle arms to fend off against Mabel’s yarn snake along with large butterfly wings to evade her attacks. The battle ends with him using a set of devil horns to have the snake unravel and using the wind created from his wings to blow Mabel out of the ring

Kubo vs Kat Elliot: Kat holds off against Kubo’s origami offense for up to thirty minutes by predicting their moves. Kubo, meanwhile, is running out of breath from whistling so much, but manages. Eventually, the referee calls for a draw, and we’ll come back to them later

Dipper Pines vs Raúl Cocolotl: Dipper’s quirk isn’t considered suited for battle, but with enough training, he’ll be able to predict people’s movements. But for right now, he’s fighting quirkless against Raúl’s ink, which often causes him to slip if he steps on it. But, grabbing a handful of the ink, Dipper throws it in Raúl’s face and blinds him before pushing him out of the ring. Resulting in his win

Tie Breaker: Arm Wrestling Match

Kubo vs Kat Elliot… Kat wins

Quarter-Final Round

Norman Babcock vs Mirabel Madrigal: Things are heating up when former Pro Hero, Miracle comes to watch the Sports Festival. Mirabel is giving it everything she’s got against Norman, using all of her family’s quirks, weather control, shapeshifting, super strength, creating plants, etc. Norman can see she’s suffering from a burnout and warns her against wielding so many quirks at once, but she yells at him to shut up. She needs to win this so that her Abuela, Miracle will finally be proud of her and not see her Quirk as something useless since she has to rely on others’ quirks. She doesn’t have a quirk to call her own, believing that makes her a failure in her family’s eyes, so she’s determined to win. Unbeknownst to Mirabel, she starts glowing a bright gold, gold translucent butterfly wings appear on her back, and a sudden energy bursts from her hands and knocks Norman out of the ring

Wybie Lovat vs Lili Zanotto: Lili creates oak trees to deflect against Wybie’s tungsten shuriken, but then he gets all badass and creates a chainsaw to cut through every single one of her defenses until she’s backed out of the ring

Gaz Membrane vs Marco Diaz: Gaz uses her levitation to evade Marco when he grows another pair of wings, and uses her pyrokinesis to throw fireballs at him so he’s forced to dodge until he doesn’t see her coming and she’s throwing him out of the ring and into the stands

Kat Elliot vs Dipper Pines: Like with Kubo, Kat is able to easily dodge Dipper’s attacks and they fight quirkless the entire time, impressing quite a few underground heroes. It’s Kat who wins when she knocks Dipper out cold

Semi-Final Round

Mirabel Madrigal vs Wybie Lovat: Wybie is out from the moment Mirabel uses her sister’s super strength to throw him into the stands. Fortunately, Uravity catches him

Gaz Membrane vs Kat Elliot: Kat’s still untouchable and dodges all of Gaz’s fire attacks and knows just where she’ll pop up with her teleportation. Though, she’s not prepared for the ring of fire, Kat knows Gaz can be unpredictable and prepares for any sort of outcome until finally, they’re near the edge of the arena and Kat flips Gaz over her shoulder and out of the arena

Final Round:

Kat Elliot vs Mirabel Madrigal: Mirabel’s stocked up on an assortment of quirks, but Kat remains in the ring and does everything she can to dodge Mirabel’s attacks and even tries to knock some sense into her

Kat: Why the hell do you care what some old lady thinks?! This is your quirk! She doesn’t tell you if it’s useless or not! Look at you! You’re in the final round of the Sports Festival! This YOUR quirk, Mirabel! Not Miracle’s, not Jacaranda’s, not Miss Gossip’s, yours! And don’t let anyone tell you what it’s good for!

Suddenly, the glowing returns, and Mirabel’s wings appear again. Like before, she blasts Kat out of the arena, resulting in her winning the Sports Festival

… Well, that’s all I got. Anyone wanna add on?

[luimagines]

To Protect The World From Devastation

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Last part! Introducing the little fairy who got caught! I wonder who it could have been.

Content under the cut!

It had been a while since Sky had dropped off the face of the earth and Twilight had subsequently followed suit.

Hyrule wasn’t sure how he would have been able to help them. Something in the air felt familiar the day Sky went missing but Hyrule didn’t think too much about it and didn’t voice his opinions on the matter. He thought it was nothing.

He was beginning to regret not telling someone.

Hyrule takes a breath and chants the spell he knows off the top of his head. His body shrinks, his sense of smell heightens and the world around him gains colors and flavors that he’d be locked out of otherwise.

He flies.

It didn’t take him too long to reach the spot where Sky vanished from. The group didn’t want to travel far without him. Then Twilight went to go look for him and he didn’t come back either.

The smell is still in the air, thankfully. Hyrule can smell the sugar sweet powder of pixie dust and follows it through the forest. It begins to dawn on him, as he follows the trail, that it’s not leading him to any fairy fountain. If anything it’s leading him to areas he’s never been before. Not that he’s afraid or shies away from the unknown but he begins to wonder if he should get others from the group to follow where it leads.

He doesn’t do that.

Hyrule tires after a while and realizes that while the trail has strengthened to a degree, he’s still miles away from where Sky could be and that’s not even counting where Twilight got off to. He should go back and get the others…. But what if the trail fades away completely by then? And what if they don’t believe him? It’s not like they’re aware of this little spell of his.

He groans loudly and flies up again. He continues forward. He’s already come this far, right? He might as well see this through to the end.

Hyrule ends up in the desert, cursing his existence, his stupidity, Sky’s stupidity, Twilight’s horrible luck and the fact that he’s been flying for hours with very little rest and he’s probably going to be useless if it came to a fight because of it.

He finds a cave and heads in. The fairy trail is heavier here than it’s been before. He’s very close, if he hasn’t arrived already.

He has to land. He’s too tired. The sun begins to set anyway and he’s only sorry that he didn’t warn anyone before he also left the group, let alone tell them the direction he was going. Hyrule falls asleep.

And wakes up in a jar.

Panic fills his veins instantly and he bangs the glass.

“Oh, it’s awake.” A person with short hair and cracks in their hair and neck lean over him. Hyrule can feel his heart pound in his chest. They reek of fairy dust and magic. Who is this person? “Hey, buddy. Hate to put you here but we noticed you were out in the open and didn’t want you frying when the sun came up.”

Panic stills for a moment as confusion sets in. Hyrule tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows. Just as he’s about to open his mouth to respond, another fairy comes in and flies around the jar.

Hyrule stunned stupid. He’s never seen her before. Granted, this isn’t his era. Let him rephrase. He’s never seen anything like her before.

She taps the glass and smirks at him. “Idiot.”

The illusion shatters and Hyrule glares at her. She giggles and flies back up. “He can come in handy.”

“He?” The other raises an eyebrow. 

The other fairy nods and flies around gleefully. “It’s not like you have the ability to heal.”

“Shut up.”

“I meant that kindly.”

“I doubt that.”

Hyrule sits in the jar and pouts. This is not how he was going to spend his day and on top of that! Where are the other-

“Oh hey, you have a fairy. How’d that get all the way out here?” Sky says calmly.

Hyrule sits up and flutters within the jar. His mouth is open and his eyes are wide. The one holding him nearly drops the jar. Hyrule yelps at the motions as the glass hits his head. He can’t focus on that though.

Sky is here. Sky is here and in chains. They caught him. They have him prisoner. Hyrule needs to… also get out. Well shoot.

Wolfie comes up soon after and Hyrule feels a little better about it. Twilight might still be missing but at least Wolfie was here to look after Sky, who looks well all things considered.

There isn’t much he can do from the jar though.

Hours come and go and Hyrule is more or less introduced to their third member. A pink haired girl with water manipulation abilities from what he’s gathered. Impressive.

She dotes on Wolfie and seems to be the main one to make sure everyone is fed, himself included. Which Hyrule is thankful for. He’s eaten through his rations already.

When this girl pulls a hidden crystal from Wolfie and reveals Twilight, Hyrule has to keep himself from crying from hysteria. He’s too busy trying not to cry from being overloaded with information and worrying that he hardly notices that in her panic, the girl opens his jar and all but dumps him out.

He hits the floor with a soft thud.

“You let him out!” The other fairy cries out in shock. “NO! He’ll escape!”

Hyrule calls off his spell and grows as well.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” The pink girl looks like she could cry too. “We just needed the one guy! Why do we have three?”

Hyrule laughs harder, tears streaming down his face.

“Are you ok, Traveler?” Twilight frowns.

The other fairy flutters close to his face and slaps him. It doesn’t hurt but Hyrule lets her.

Part 4

[ikemenomegas]

Scent Headcanons for BSD part 2 (part 1)

Tanizaki and Kunikida have surprisingly complementary scents, never mind their differing personalities. Tanizaki's light vanilla scent rarely flares up, instead it serves as a backdrop to a sense of heat or cold that changes his scent's overall character depending upon his mood or his cycle. He is aware of this and so is his Alpha, who delights in teasing him to get the shift that makes him easy to read. Tanizaki is an attentive and engaging type of person but one who conceals more about himself than one might expect from that facade. When he uses Light Snow, his scent disappears completely. Over the years he has learned how to get his scent to reappear and how to control how much is fills his illusions because the complete concealment of his presence is only advantageous when people walk into illusions that he has already set without knowing. Otherwise, it makes people too wary of him. His Alpha is aware of this fact and it makes them appreciate how he lets them be aware of reactions all the more.

Atsushi is a bit self conscious of his scent because it reminds him of funerals and the better afternoons at the orphanage and he's worried it will remind others of that too. Even for a while once he gains self confidence, his past sometimes makes him anxious because he thinks it says something about him. His Alpha first notices the scent of roasted tea clinging to Atsushi longer than would be normal after they eat together and that's when they're able to parse that his scent separates into two layers. The stereotype of Omegas is that they have something of a sweet tooth, but it's more accurate that those with scents that are similar in profile to foods will sometimes have a preference for foods that compliment. Some of this is a real instinct to strengthen the ambient extent of their scent to attract their Alpha. Atsushi has tiger instincts making this instinct to mark his surroundings when he wants to be noticed a little more pronounced. His Alpha brings him lilies and flowers that complement that part of his natural scent in his home and that helps him feel more like they both accept parts of his Omega nature he was never very comfortable with and appreciate it.

Chuuya is aware of the fact his infamous and characterizing appreciation of good wine is somewhat related to his natural scent and dares anyone but his Alpha to say something about it. Unaccented by cologne or intentional imbibement, Chuuya has a wonderfully distinctive and already complex scent like honey and figs. To his Alpha's frequent bemoaning, Chuuya wears scent patches to dampen this whenever subtlety is required. However, no matter how many scent blockers he wears, his scent becomes strong to the point of unidentifiable when he uses Corruption. To his Alpha's immense relief, the moments when he comes around smelling like the undeniable presence of an old god have significantly dropped off since Dazai left the organization and Corruption is no longer safe to use frequently. Chuuya's omega nature is a complicated thing for him. On one hand, he feels more human with it, he doesn't think a monster or a god probably has heats the way omega humans do, and objects definitely don't, on the other, his scent is so much harder to hide than everyone else he knows. It helps that his Alpha adores the way they know he's near and prefers to have their scent around him because it makes it feel like at least this marker is then worth something to someone important to him.

Akutagawa's scent lends him a presence that he doesn't particularly try to hide. When the man in the black coat wanders the streets on a job, people should know that he is coming. Akutagawa's scent is layers of pepper so when he's working and trying to appear more intimidating, he will intentionally flare his scent so the spice makes his enemies uncomfortable. He doesn't exude the natural pressure that Fukuzawa and Chuuya do but his scent can get oppressive enough to, with the connotations of his appearance enhance the fact that he's a certifiable threat. Unfortunately, Akutagawa is not immune to the effects of capsaicin, even when it's not really capsaicin, and he has to be careful not to make himself cough... When he's not working and he's more relaxed his scent naturally becomes quite subtle and his Alpha often tells him it's pleasant. It makes him feel warm to be around even when his hands are cold, they know he's around because even when he uses scent blockers they're attuned to him so it's like feeling warmth on the back of their tongue. His Alpha saying things like that initially made him uncomfortable. No one except Gin had ever been comfortable with him and any signal he was in the room for a long time and no one had ever said anything positive about his presence like that before (except Higuchi but I don't think Akutagawa registers flirting very well...).

[pinkskunksleepy]

I finished Umineko no Naku Koro ni for the first time today. Going to write my thoughts about it below. Expect what comes of having reached the end and judge for yourself whether or not it's the right time for you to proceed.

I'm a little surprised at how early R07 spills this when it's basically the entire core of the story. I understand Van Dine's 1st, but this isn't a clue, this is just stating the point. Which makes the whole thing really interesting to me, someone who finished the story for the first time in 2023, looking back on how things were a decade ago(and what remains of then today).

I'll say it unambiguously: that Sayo is one yet many, to me, feels like it should have been obvious as early as when Shannon breaks the mirror in Turn. That in the past(fortunately this seems to be less the case nowadays), there were people who got through Requiem without putting it together is just... I can't understand it. I can understand not getting it as early as the mirror, but getting that far and then feeling cheated by what Beato is? Not trying to understand the whole, feeling as though something was taken from you because Beato wasn't a person as you wanted her to be? I can't understand it.

In general, I feel this way about a lot of the complaints about Requiem and Twilight. Were people of that time not paying attention? Did they just not care? That people complained when the solution was not only gone through by Will and Clair, forced into the light of day by Bernkastel, confirmed by Ange, and then put aside by Ange... Unironically kind of a bigger mystery than any of the Game Masters put forward.

I feel this way about the endings, too. To be honest, I thought the choice Ange would have to make would be reading the Book of Single Truth or not reading it, and I'm kind of bothered that she had to read it. Not that that isn't the point, but... I didn't want to know if that was necessarily the truth. I can understand wanting to solve the games. I didn't need to know what the truth was supposed to be, the truth with not one but two clearly decoy killers sacrificing themselves to keep out of sight.

But that being said, I don't think I could have made the choice Ange does in the Magic ending. I didn't and probably won't read the Trick ending, but that said, I also don't think I'm capable of creating new happiness in that way. When I read Higurashi, the fantasy I could relate to having was Satoko being saved and saving herself before she had to grow up under even more abuse. In Umineko, the best I can manage is to become an illusion like Beato(pre-chick Beato), to disappear with nothing but my own internal world to hold onto as I fade into oblivion. If I were Ange, I would have jumped, and while I couldn't and can't let myself steer the story in that direction after so much, that's where I'm at.

I guess it's partly because I think the illusions are really interesting. An "illusion," even outside the context of Umineko, retains its identity through a lack of information. Illusions, unlike pretty much anything else, cannot be solidified through filling in gaps. Even lies can become strengthened with more information. So Umineko's illusions, people-but-not-quite, literary-devices-but-not-quite, are really interesting to me as emergent phenomena.

So Beato, as an illusion, as something which is essentially just a collection of largely unrelated phenomena(Kinzo's memory of Castiglioni, the Witch of the Wood, the Second Master, Kuwadorian Beatrice), stands out. Her whole existence is based on a lack of information about what she is, and yet she uses it to try to reveal herself. "Kill me in my legend" could just as well be understood as "know me in my story, and let the illusion return to illusions."

Erika and(to a lesser extent) Bernkastel are so effective because they offer a resolution which allows for the illusion to be dispelled without knowing the heart. Bernkastel is also just mean for its own sake, which makes it a bit different for her. I have a feeling that if the groundwork were different, she would have tried to use fantasy as the grounds to hurt Ange instead of mystery. But Erika is just Like That(TM). It's "truth" or nothin, baby.

Umineko's truth concept is really interesting, too. Future truths supersede past ones. Truth only exists as such if it's agreed upon by relevant parties. But then... without love, the truth cannot be seen? It's an interesting, murky dichotomy between truths and the truth. I'm not fully sure it's even dichotomous. But there is some kind of distinction between the truth of October fifth and sixth, 1986 being "Kyrie and Rudolf shot everyone except Eva, Battler, and maybe Beato, who survived(again maybe except Beato) to leave the island" and the truth of those days being "the Ushiromiyas had their faults(they really, really had them) but they were also people capable of wanting a future where Ange could live a worthwhile life." Is the difference just love? I'm not sure.

That said, I have plenty of other thoughts about Umineko. I don't like when R07 repurposes my past life events for Maria's life but files off the serial numbers, for example(I get it's relevant to his prior work experience, but have mercy). Eva is the character of all time. But I guess I just want to keep this to larger concepts. I read for most of today, so I'm tired and don't really want to write more. But I'm really glad I finished Umineko. I want to try to be like Ange in the Magic ending. I don't want to promise that to myself though, because I think it would hurt too much if I failed.

[randomscropio]

Owl House oc cuz I said so

Ignore the "time" because I had the app I use open while I was asleep

This is my oc, Lilly Clawthorne-Whisper. Lilly is a witch that looks up to the hex squad. Her favorite colors are lavender, light pink, and mint (in that order)

Sexual orientation: Pansexual

Personality: She sometimes copies others body language which makes her really good at disguising herself as someone else. She is also kind but not afraid to step up and thinks that she has to stay strong no matter what because she doesn't like to seem weak. She'll say that she's "fine" when she clearly isn't and when things are at the worst then, and only then, will she say what is happening. She also likes to stay organized and needs a schedule in order to do things. She also won't stop on a project until it is finished so if a project takes a long time she will not do anything but that project until it is finished. She also will sometimes have panic attacks when panicked and she won't be able to control her plant or illusion magic

Tracks: illusion and plant

Life: She has a pretty normal life except for the fact that she will worry a lot on a test and if she gets a D+ or lower she will think she isn't good enough. After school she goes to palisman carving class, which is taught by Hunter, Del Clawthorne is the substitute teacher and he also helps Hunter with teaching. After palisman carving class she goes home and does home work than she just relaxes and has fun.

Powers: Lilly can control plants and gets some help from Willow at times, she also is very good at illusion magic and Gus helps her strengthen it. Mimic, her palisman, allows Lilly to easily change her voice and make any disguise convincing

Weapons: Mockingbird staff

Pet/Palisman: Mimic (inspired by mockingbirds)

Relationships

Luz: Lilly feels comfortable around Luz and looks up to her

Amity: Lilly is comfortable around Amity and looks up to her

Willow: Lilly feels comfortable around Willow and goes to her for support after Hunter. Lilly learned how to strengthen her plant magic from Willow

Gus: Lilly feels comfortable around Gus and looks up to him. She also learned how to strengthen her illusion magic from him

Hunter: Lilly feels safe around Hunter and always goes to him for support first (other than Raine and Eda) since they relate to each other. She also trys really hard in his class Hunter knows this. She trys to impress him, and succeeds in this because he tells her that she is great at carving. Him saying this makes Lilly happy. He also taught her how to sow

Del: Lilly feels comfortable around Del and is very happy when he compliments her work

Odolia: Lilly doesn't know her personally but hates her

Alidor: Lilly feels comfortable around him

Darius: Lilly is a little closer to him than she is to Alidor (who I head cannon is Darius' partner) even though she was around both of them for the same amount of time

Kikimora: Although Lilly has never met Kiki she hates her with every atom of her body

Eda: Lilly loves Eda and actually was adopted by her. Lilly will go to her and Raine first when she needs support

Raine: Lilly feels comfortable around them and loves them and (because Eda adopted Lilly and I head cannon that Eda and Raine are now married) was adopted by them. Lilly will go to them and Eda first when she needs support

King: Lilly thinks King is adorable and loves him, she is always happy when he is around. She actually made him a new stuffed animal

Tibbles: Lilly hates him

Lilith: Lilly was a little suspicious of Lilith at first but eventually warmed up to her

Mimic: Lilly is closest to her palisman, Mimic, and always tells her things first. Mimic is always around Lilly so if Lilly isn't with her something bad has happened. Mimic has saved Lilly on multiple occasions. Lilly almost froze to death once and Mimic immediately got help which saved Lilly

Camila: Lilly feels very safe around Camila since Camila is an amazinging mother in Lilly's eyes

Vee: Lilly feels comfortable around Vee and learned about basilisks from her

The Collector: Lilly has never met them but knows that his intentions were good but worries that if he comes back he will cause chaos again

Hooty: Lilly thinks he is a little annoying but knows he means well, this doesn't change the fact that she finds him annoying but he doesn't bother her when she is studying or just wants to be left alone

Family: she doesn't know who or where her biological parents are but she lives with Eda and Raine, who are her adoptive parents

Body Language

When Lilly isn't mimicking or copying anyone's body language, this is what her body language looks like.

Arms: She will have her arms crossed loosely when she's not interacting with any thing and when she is calm. When she is uncomfortable or doesn't want to be touched she has her arms crossed tightly. If she is around someone that makes her comfortable or feel safe she won't have her arms crossed (this also happens when she is trying to impress someone)

Legs: When she is hiding something behind her she will have her legs as close to each other without crossing them. When she feels safe or comfortable she will have her legs at a normal space from each other. If she is scared, panicked, or really angry she will be on her knees. She also shakes her leg when uncomfortable, worried, or stressed

Hands: If she is comfortable she will have her hands apart and if they are on her legs, she will tap her fingers on her legs. If she is really angry she will put her hands on top of her head and press a little hard. Sometimes she'll rub her thumb on her hand, mostly when she is stressed, uncomfortable, or just talking

Feet: When she's happy she'll do "happy taps" which is when depending on how happy she is she will tap her feet at a certain speed (more happy=more rapid tapping less happy=less rapid tapping). When she isn't tapping her fingers on something she'll tap her feet especially when she's stressed out or HAS TO move (usually when she is worried or scared)

Eyes: When Lilly talks she finds it hard to keep eye contact so she'll look around with her eyes when speaking. If she is stressed, scared, uncomfortable, worried, or angry she will not be able to make eye contact at all

Voice (yes I am including it): When she is scared or worried her voice will be a lot quieter and will shake a lot. When she is crying she will not be able to speak very well. If she is panicked or overwhelmed she will not be able to speak at all

Edit: I have been informed by " animerunner" that there is a silent e at the end of "Clawthorne" so I fixed it

[electrasev5nwrites]

Ninja Daily: AIC 33

Uchiha Kanna had been killed in action less than a month before the massacre. That meant that her records were the most recent Uchiha information that had not been buried in the political havoc and cover-up. The fact that she was one of Sasuke's more distant cousins didn't hurt, either. His memory of her would be vague and less detailed. Most importantly, she was the eldest sister of Fukiko's father. Surely she would have approved of Aiko's reason to borrow her image.

Aiko still felt dirty as sin when she pulled together a cloak of genjutsu to wear the dead woman's face and the unusual black flak jacket the chuunin had favored. It was an ugly deception, no matter how many children it would help.

Utakata seemed to notice her change in mood. He drew back, quiet. He kept watch from the hall when she went into the room. He was not particularly happy about being in Konoha General Hospital.

Sasuke looked so small in the hospital bed. He didn't look relaxed, either. It was obvious from his dry lips and sweaty skin that he was suffering, even if she hadn't been able to see the heart monitor jumping.

He was just a baby. She couldn't wrap her head around leaving someone to suffer like that, unless she really hated them. But Itachi supposedly loved Sasuke. No, be fair- he loved Sasuke.

'He was seriously twisted. This isn't love.'

It was starting to look like the genjutsu wasn't going to break on its own. So someone had to do it, and that someone might be her.

She was sure that she could do it. The genjutsu had been made by sharingan, and sharingan could unmake it. But Aiko still aimed a prayer at anyone who would care to help- her mother, Sasuke's parents, the god of children- and got to work. It might have been her extreme optimism, but she felt like someone might be listening. The belief strengthened her nerves.

She did not dare resort to the Rinnegan. She didn't have enough finesse to use that kind of power here- that was why her genjutsu had been overpowering before. So her sharingan spun. It was the only part of her that was not a Rinnegan illusion. Carefully, she plucked at the threads of Itachi's tsukiyomi.

The unraveling took time, an excruciating amount of time. She had definitely been right to think that it would be impossible to help Kakashi as well. She couldn't afford to spend that much time in his room. Someone would catch her, especially after they realized that Sasuke was awake and went to check Kakashi.

And Kakashi would not be fooled by a genjutsu of a dead relative or friend. If she woke him up, he would know who had done it. And that would tell Konoha that she had a sharingan. And that she was far too involved in their internal affairs. She was an international leader. She could not risk hurting Kiri in order to help a foreigner. Her duty had to be carried out in good faith, for the people she had sworn to safeguard.

The web that Itachi had spun was a glistening mess of knots and power. It spun chakra in a circuit. It was impossible for a system to run indefinitely, but she really couldn't see any weaknesses that would eventually break it down on its own.

The growl that her inner demon made shook her ribcage.

She was the last person to defend him, but… 'Surely Itachi did not intend for this to be indefinite.'

...The thing was, this genjutsu was so vicious that it didn't really make the situation much better. It was beyond irresponsible to use something of that power on people you supposedly loved. Aiko was a vicious bitch, but she knew she would never be capable of torturing Naruto like that. Itachi had been sick.

Loathing rose hotly in her chest. "He was despicable," Sanbi spat. It was hard to tell where her feelings ended and the bijuu's began. "Were he alive, I would instruct you to eat him."

Ew, but she agreed with the sentiment.

Of course, it was possible that Itachi had to manually end the genjutsu and had intended to do so. Since she'd killed him on the same day that he had cast it… Maybe he simply hadn't had an opportunity to end it.

The last threads began to unravel on their own, snapping and coiling faster than she had been able to do on her own. Aiko stood back and watched it happen.

Sasuke's eyes opened. He gave a full-bodied shudder. His mouth open, he looked at the ceiling blankly.

And then he noticed her. His face went slack. If he hadn't already been sickly and pale, he might have gone white with shock.

Oh, poor baby. Aiko felt her face soften. "Hello, cousin."

The whites around his eyes showed red strain from the nightmares. On an impulse that she didn't understand, Aiko bent to brush his hair back and kiss his forehead. It felt right. Sasuke jerked, but not in an attempt to stop her.

"You've done so well," she said. It was partly to disguise her voice, but the very low, airy tone she used also fit the situation. "Uchiha Sasuke, you bring us honor. I cannot linger, but I must give you a charge."

He made a whimper in the back of his throat. His skin was clammy and damp. His eyes were locked on hers. He managed just a flicker of sharingan, clearly trying to see if she was real. He didn't have the chakra to hold it for more than an instant. But it would have been enough to see that her sharingan was real. He wouldn't be able to see through her actual genjutsu.

She was relentless. "You are not the last Uchiha in Konoha." Aiko drew herself up to her full height, which was a little more impressive in her guise as Uchiha Kanna. "There is a girl, born from Uchiha Shion and a girl of the merchant class, four months after the bloodshed. She needs you. Find Fukiko." She stroked his hair one more time. "The Uchiha do not need to be avenged. They must be safeguarded. If she returns, seek out the Slug Sannin. You will need her guidance."

Sasuke still couldn't move, weak from his ordeal. But he seemed to be drinking her in with teary eyes. He was shaking.

'I need to get out of here asap. His heart monitor is going to be noticed soon.'

"Your parents are proud," Aiko promised, meaning it to be a comfort. But as she said it, she felt a disorienting double presence- yes, we are, a woman whispered in the dark. Listen, you called. She felt tears trickle down from her eyes. She drifted.

She shut her mouth. Why was it hanging open? Belatedly, Aiko processed that she had been saying something else. What? What had she been saying? She blinked, dizzy.

Sasuke was full-blown crying now. He rasped out one word through his abused throat. "Mother."

Aiko gave him a gentle smile and felt the last trace of something slip away. It was replaced by a chill awareness.

'Oh my god. Did I just channel an actual spirit? Did I invite an Uchiha in? Do- do the dead hear me if I call to them?'

"This is not free real estate," Sanbi hissed. He was curled up. "I did not like that woman. Keep her out. I require my space."

She felt a scream well up in her throat. Aiko took in a ragged breath and trapped it. She needed to keep it together.

'I'm a fucking monster and I'm barely keeping it together. I'm dead. I'm long-dead and the death god owns me and I need to kill Orochimaru for him. I need to kill him, soon. I don't know what I'm becoming.'

"Live well," Aiko said, because it was all that she could manage. She could not freak out poor Sasuke any more.

Sasuke managed to sit up, shaking. He reached an arm towards her. Desperation was painted onto his features- he could not bear to be alone. Please stay, please stay.

She felt her heart breaking. She couldn't stay. She gave him a sad smile and hiraishin'd out, but only to the hallway. She heard Sasuke make a low, pained cry.

Utakata materialized out of the shadows. He put a hand on her shoulder. She took them out of the hospital.

They stood in silence.

'This is for the best,' Aiko told herself. 'I can't help Sasuke or Fukiko myself. I can't let anyone know that I'm involved. And…' she felt sick guilt welling up, for another reason. She had chosen Sasuke over her teacher. This wasn't her Kakashi, but it still felt terrible to leave him in that waking nightmare when she technically had the power to free him.

'He would understand,' Aiko told herself. 'He would tell me to choose to save Sasuke. And someone will help him. Tsunade can do it. She did before.'

That had to be why Jiraiya was being recalled to Konoha. The Sandaime hoped that he could persuade Tsunade to come home. If anyone could do it, it would be him.

But it wouldn't hurt to put a little leverage on the situation as well. Another reason for Tsunade to return to Konoha and to power.

'I'm doing this to get rid of Danzo, cover my ass about Orochimaru, and destabilize Konoha,' Aiko reminded herself firmly. 'Getting Tsunade back to Konoha is a tertiary goal at best.'

Utakata put a hand on her shoulder. He moved directly in front of her and pulled a cloth from his pouch. Aiko stood still and let him dab at her cheeks. She was not entirely surprised when the cloth came away red. That seemed to happen when death things happened.

She needed to kill Orochimaru. She felt it pound in her chest. The order had sunk claws into her ribcage and it would not free her.

Tsunade was not exactly easy to track. But it wasn't impossible, either. She had her patterns and preferences. And Aiko had been able to find out where she had been three days before. She left Utakata in Kirigakure, because it would be better not to appear threatening. She made a costume change into a variation on her 'kage uniform', which had been viciously ripped out of Tsunade's own playbook. She took a moment to curse the annoyances of constantly changing clothes for the situation. It was so hard on her laundry schedule.

It took the better part of the evening to find a gambling hall that had been blessed by Tsunade's presence the day before. A hotel receptionist who had recently encountered a pet pig inadvertently confirmed Tsunade's stay.

She settled in a field nearby to wait, and set her chakra on a friendly low buzz. It was a beacon saying 'come here, come find me', essentially.

Aiko couldn't be certain that Tsunade or Shizune would come to see who it was, but it was worth a try. It was certainly better than seeking her out directly. That would seem aggressive. Aiko was not attempting to put Tsunade on edge or looking to get hit. She really, really, was not looking to get hit.

"You are sturdy," Sanbi scoffed.

Not that sturdy.

The turtle made a confused sound. Had he never heard her admit her own limits before? She was very capable, but she was not insane. She did not claim to be the best shinobi out there. She was, like, fifth, at the most optimistic assessment.

"Modest," Sanbi said wryly.

She found a relatively flat rock to perch on and absorbed the heat it was still holding from the fading sunlight. It was a nice day with a light breeze. A blue-bellied songbird was flirting overhead, cheerfully chasing a fluffy brown bird from branch to branch.

She watched the sun set behind pink clouds, and seethed. She had so much shit to do that she was double-booking raids of Orochimaru's bases and break-ins to four fucking countries, but here she was. Sitting on a grassy knoll, for an hour and a half. Fucking idyllic.

'I do not have time to sit around in the beauty of nature,' she thought resentfully.

"You are disturbed," Sanbi said. He rolled over onto his back, which was really fucking weird and unacceptable turtle behavior. She could not condone it. "You should savor this peaceful moment."

"I hate this peaceful moment," Aiko muttered vindictively. She scratched at the rock. Her nails scored lines down it. Huh. She perked up. That was new. Experimentally, she scratched her name into it. Human nails were not meant to be hard enough to scratch stone, unless it was, like, talc. This was her favorite bodily change so far. Was this because of Sanbi? How charming. Usually changes were horrible. It was a refreshing discovery.

The sun had long gone down when two familiar figures crested the hill. Her rock featured her best depiction of Sanbi cavorting in a field of flowers. Hastily, she shifted so that her ass was covering her artwork before the visitors could see what she had been doing. Neither of them had ever appreciated her doodles before, and now was probably not the time they would start to find it charming.

She gave them a mildly resentful look.

"Good evening," Shizune called from about three meters away. Because she was polite.

Aiko opened her mouth to respond, but Tsunade cut her off.

"Knock that off," Tsunade ordered. "What do you want?" She put a hand on her hip.

Shizune sighed. She looked down at Tonton.

"Good evening, Tsunade-sama, Shizune-san," Aiko said. She was unphased by Tsunade's Tsunade-ness. It was not new to her. It was actually a rather comforting familiarity. But she did let her chakra signal fade away. She inclined her head in greeting. "Uzumaki Aiko," she introduced lazily. Shizune's expression went tight. Unfortunate. "I found something that I think you might be interested in. I decided to hand it over, as a courtesy."

"I'm probably not interested," Tsunade said bluntly. "I'm not involved in politics."

"I know," Aiko said. It felt weird, though. Tsunade was very good at that game. "It's not particularly related to current affairs. One of my people happened upon some interesting documentation written by Orochimaru-san." She really valiantly resisted the urge to mention that his handwriting was beautiful. Tsunade already knew that, and it was not relevant.

That did the trick. Tsunade's casual mien dropped off in an instant. Her face went hard and unreadable. She looked almost as dangerous as she really was.

"Someone in Konoha has been engaging in a lot of bloodline theft and graverobbing," Aiko said. She was careful not to leave her tone too light. "Senju-sama, you may wish to have words with someone."

Tsunade's anger rose like a wave of heat. She stepped forward. "What are you talking about?" Her voice was low and incredibly dangerous.

"Oh," Sanbi said, pleasantly surprised. "This is a frightening woman. She is the one whose fashion you have stolen, yes? A good selection. We would do well to emulate this one."

With no flippancy or funny business at all, Aiko produced the folder. It had the two reports that were definitely about Danzo in the front, Fukiko's information buried at the very back to validate what she'd told Sasuke, and information about other surgeries and experiments in between. They were not all related, but they would all help form a picture that Tsunade would want to act on.

She handed it to Shizune, because it was safer not to get into punching range. Aiko was careful to move slowly, and did not try to stand up, because Tsunade would quickly move into punching range if Shizune seemed at all nervous.

"If you're lying, I will kill you." Tsunade said it without any menace at all. It was simply a promise. She did not seem to consider that this might be difficult, politically or otherwise.

"Could she and would she?" Sanbi asked, sounding fascinated. "You are durable and important."

'Probably and definitely. Tsunade is not to be fucked with.'

Sanbi made a delighted sound and hugged his tails to his belly.

She knew how he felt. Aiko nodded. "I'm aware. I'm not lying about this."

Tsunade shot her a sharp look at the specific wording, but didn't contest it. She gave the folder a hard look. "I've heard a lot about you," she said. Her tone didn't imply that she had been hearing nice things. "What is an Uzumaki doing in Kirigakure?"

There was a definite undertone of accusation. Aiko bristled, disliking the implication that she was some kind of traitor to her clan for winding up in the country that had destroyed it. Tsunade didn't know her story. She had no right to judge- and who was she to cast stones about loyalty, given the fact that she would have been considered a traitor to Konoha for desertion if her teacher wasn't the village leader? It was pretty fucking rich.

'Hypocrisy has always been one of Tsunade's uglier traits.'

Tonton completely missed all the tension. The pig darted forward and butted into Aiko's legs. Shizune closed her eyes and clearly resisted the desire to press a hand into her forehead.

Aiko glanced down at the pig, not particularly moved one way or the other. This seemed within the range of weird, undignified things that happened when she was trying to conduct business. At least Tonton wasn't leaving sand around, or dripping onto her floorboards, or leaving half-eaten pudding in her office. What the fuck ever. She decided not to take offense at Tsunade's rudeness. "The best that I can," Aiko answered honestly. She let her exhaustion show. "Protecting the people that I care about, trying to improve the world, keeping my promises, and hopefully finding that I can fit in somewhere by the end of it all."

Oh. Oh, no. There was something in the air next to Tsunade. Like a heatwave. She blinked and then it was gone.

Probably nothing. Probably just her failing eyesight, even though she usually had perfect vision when using Sharingan or Rinnegan. Wasn't some fucking Senju ancestor poking their nose around Tsunade's business. It wasn't, no matter that a sick chill in her gut told her that's exactly what it was.

'I'm being paranoid and insane,' Aiko told herself firmly. She flexed her foot, inadvertently stroking the pig. Tonton gave a delighted grunt and nuzzled the rock. 'I am totally fine.'

"What do you want from me?" Tsunade had crossed her arms sometime when Aiko wasn't looking.

"Nothing," Aiko answered honestly. If this had been her Tsunade, she would have begged for help with her eyes and possibly with her brain. But she didn't know this woman. She couldn't trust this Tsunade. Especially not since Tsunade knew Aiko only as a foreign politician. "This is a courtesy. These records don't do me any good, and keeping them would not be in the good faith of my relations with Konoha. But also." She glanced away. "I would want to know, if it was me." She stood up and turned away. She couldn't stand to look at Tsunade and the ghost that might be next to her. "Do what you will." She'd look arrogant as hell for turning her back on Tsunade, but, well, that was fine.

"Is that all?" Tsunade sounded unimpressed.

"Unless you have something to say, yes."

Aiko waited a moment. Shizune hissed something. It was equally likely to be directed at the Sannin or the pig.

"You were in Konoha when Orochimaru invaded." Tsunade's tone faltered. "They say that you revived the Yondaime. They say that Orochimaru..."

"He partially revived the first and second Hokage as his slaves," Aiko confirmed. She felt her body shudder. "It was a profane thing." She didn't know where those words came from, but they felt right. Oh, no. Oh, no no no. "He twists and steals fragments of souls, imprisoned in clay to his will. Until he is sent down to death, he will reuse those souls at his leisure." Her chin went up. "I will end it."

She heard Shizune coming cautiously around her side to get a visual on Aiko's face. The medic was too professional to startle, but Aiko knew what Shizune was seeing. And that it was not super normal. Medically speaking.

"Ah." Shizune lifted a hand uncertainly. "Mizukage-sama, you have something on your face."

'I should not have prayed to the dead to watch over Sasuke. I drew far too much attention. I reached across. I'm so fucked.'

Aiko stared blankly at her. The shimmer was following Shizune now, and it was gaining shape and opacity. It was a young man she had never seen before, so probably someone long-dead. He stood between her and Shizune in a futile attempt to keep her safe from the foreign kage. She thought she knew who might haunt those two particular people. "That happens sometimes."

When she returned, Utakata hissed out air between his teeth. "Again," he said softly. It wasn't a question. She let him clean the blood off her face once more, painfully gentle with a soft cloth. It was difficult to care about the blood from her poor stressed eyes when she had so much more to worry about. So she just didn't.

"Jiraiya," she said. "Tell Nishikawa that I'll see him tonight. I just want to get it over with." Utakata was not quite finished, but she pulled away and began striding into her house. "I'll go to his room. Have the message waiting there." But first. "Suigetsu, Karin, are you well?" she called.

Footsteps thumped down the stairs. Karin whirled into view, hair a cloud around her head from the humidity. "You're going to give him a legendary sword?" she demanded. "I want him to train me in that. I would be such a good legendary swordsman."

Aiko blinked at her cousin. She really didn't care one way or the other. "Ask him which one he wants, or what he trained in," she said. "We have all but one. He can use anything other than Chojuro's. Yes, training people will be part of his responsibilities." She drifted into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. She was pretty dehydrated at this point.

Suigetsu slunk into view, not quite raising his eyes to look at her directly. He was still wearing the dead Sound-nin's pants, but Karin had clearly forced him into one of Gaara's shirts. It did not… Well. Gaara was really scrawny, alright? And rather small-boned.

In other words, he looked ridiculous. She was surprised that someone as fashion-forward as Suigetsu was tolerating that situation.

She seemed to remember him being a lot ruder. Perhaps that had developed while Orochimaru had been torturing him. Mm. That made sense. No one in Kirigakure could get away with that level of casual disrespect unless they were, say, the Mizukage.

"Is that why you took the job?" Sanbi teased. "Your natural qualities do not lend themselves to peaceful coexistence with any being possessing a sense of propriety."

See, that was exactly the kind of backtalk that Yagura probably would not have been chill with.

Sanbi cackled. It seemed to be in agreement. But he was a little shit and unpunishable, so that probably meant that he had been talking like that to Yagura as well.

'I like you. You're so awful.'

But anyway. Most people in a shinobi village were not an immortal turtle, immune to censure. She took a moment to imagine how Kisame, for example, would react to disrespect from an understudy.

A blood puddle. There would just be a blood puddle.

She realized that she was still looking at Suigetsu. He was very nervous. She finished her water. She washed the glass.

What else did she need to do?

She needed to get an apology from Minato, have someone sabotage Nagihara's most powerful rival in the Daimyo's court by intercepting a shipment, send payment to Iron for the hospital supplies, kill Orochimaru-

'I'm working on that,' she told herself. 'I'm going to, I'm going.'

Her body shook with the effort of resisting the need to go now. She couldn't wait for Konoha and Suna. The death god was going to tear her apart if she stalled. He had his eye on her and it burned, relentless and hot.

"Mizukage-sama?" Suigetsu was nearly against the wall.

She blinked at him. Ah. She probably did not look very stable. "Sorry, I'm not at my best," Aiko managed. She inhaled slowly. "What's the time?"

He averted his eyes. "About 7:30, I think."

"That's not so bad," Aiko murmured. She managed to straighten. "I might be able to finish my errands before midnight."

Okay, she had to concentrate on the small things she could accomplish immediately. First: visit Jiraiya. Next: kill Orochimaru. Then: start a load of laundry.

No. No. She roused herself and tried to reason with Death. If she went now, she would be defeated. She would fail. And then he would have no one to set against Orochimaru. He needed to let the living conduct the business of the living, she told him fiercely.

"You are not the living. You have two days."

Aiko winced, at the sound echoing in her head, and at the horrible confirmation that it brought.

But he subsided. It was only her in her skin again. Aiko leaned against the counter, feeling that it was cold and hard. The physical sensation helped to ground her.

Alright. So she knew a bit more now than she had before. Information was power, right?

'If I'm going to push the confrontation with Orochimaru ahead of schedule, I'll need a powerful voice in Konoha,' she told herself. 'I need to go to Jiraiya. He can help.'

With black humor, she noted that there was an upside to Kakashi being trapped in the torture of Tsukiyomi. No matter how he suffered, he was essentially safe there. If he was free, he would almost certainly be ordered to help Konoha's team catch Orochimaru. He was safer where he was.

'Get a deal with Jiraiya. Find at least 4 people to come with me. Kill Orochimaru, preferably tomorrow. Before the death god comes back.'

Doable. Plausible. She started walking. Lost in thought, she missed most of the journey between her house and Jiraiya's quarters. It wasn't far. Raidou skittered away when she came to the door, trying not to catch her eye. Jiraiya bounced into the living room- and stopped. She didn't know what he was seeing when he looked at her, but he decided not to play the idiot.

"Mizukage-sama. I didn't expect you until tomorrow."

She swallowed. Her mouth was so dry. "Let's make a deal," she said. No time for pleasantries. "I'll give you 20 minutes of being completely candid. No deflections, no evasions, no lies. You can ask me about Akatsuki, my home, my plans."

"That's half a deal," he observed. "What do you want?"

Aiko managed to look him dead-on. He, at least, was not a man who called out to the dead often. No one was at his shoulder. "I need to kill Orochimaru," she said bluntly. "I waited too long. You are one of the best people in the world to help me do that."

Jiraiya did not look comfortable with any of this. He raised his hands, placating. "The two of us? That's risky. And it would undermine the treaty between our nations and Suna. I don't have the authority to do that. Besides, it won't take much longer until we can launch the joint effort."

"I need." Her voice rose in pitch and volume. "To kill him." Her body was shuddering. It was going to shudder apart. Jiraiya didn't seem to understand. "He told me to," Aiko added. Admitted. Explained. "In Konoha."

"Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked dubiously. "Doesn't sound like something he'd say. Unless it was a joke. He's a funny guy, could have been jo-"

"Death," she cut him off, frustrated. "Death." She put a hand to her chest, where the pain of the order was originating. "He does not care about alliances and reasonable timeframes. He commands it. It is a perversion and a breach. It must be rectified."

Jiraiya was white now. Also, silent. It was an interesting look on him. She'd never seen it before.

"That's an interesting party trick," he said.

Ah, the moment was precious because it was rare. So of course it did not last.

She did not know what he was talking about. Aiko frowned at him. She decided to ignore it. "Deal?" She demanded. "I know where his two main bases are. I destroyed one before. He only had three major bases. We can find him. I have to do it in the next two days."

"A base? When did you-" Jiraiya cut himself off. He gave Raidou a look that she couldn't see.

He'll help me. He'll help, she told Death. For love of my father who loves me, he'll help.

Oh. Father. Father would help. It would be easier with more.

No. She was herself enough to reject that. Minato could not dare to do something so risky. His place in Konoha was tenuous enough. And it was her fault that he was there.

She had some time. Take 24 hours to assemble a team and a plan, and 24 hours to accomplish the deed. It should be enough.

"It's a deal." Jiraiya sat on the biggest chair in the room. He gestured toward the couch. "Please, have a seat." He gave her a wary look. "Why don't you have a drink, something to eat? And then we'll talk."

"Yes," Aiko agreed. She needed a minute or two to clear her head. The deal wouldn't be very fair if she was running on too much stress to answer coherently. She heard someone leave the room- ah, Raidou. Going to get refreshments. She knew that her people would be watching him, wary of poison.

Her heart was slowing down. She shook off his hand and sank down onto the couch. She put her face in her hands.

"So." Jiraiya sounded wary. "Are you… you again?"

Aiko barked a laugh without looking up. "As opposed to?" she teased. Even through her exhaustion, she felt a smile.

"Well, I'm going to assume the deep man's voice earlier was the death god," Jiraiya said bluntly. Too bluntly.

Her smile dropped off. "Is that a thing that happened?"

Jiraiya sucked in a breath. He shifted on his chair. It squeaked. "Well, shit," he said conversationally. "Is this kind of thing going to happen to Minato as well?"

She thought about it. "I don't think so," Aiko said honestly. "I don't think the Death god owns me because I died." She felt Jiraiya's flinch. "I think it's because of..." she trailed off, thinking of all the times she had called on him. How he grew closer and more powerful every time. "Other factors." A connection that she had stupidly, stupidly fed.

"Owns you?" Jiraiya's voice was a soft, deceptive calm. He was furious.

She shrugged. There wasn't much to say. It was clear, now, which was the power dynamic went. "You have more relevant questions, right? Konoha sent you here for a reason."

She heard the sharp beep of a timer being started.

"Are you from an alternate universe?"

"Yes."

"Is it the same year?"

"No. You're way behind my timeline. That's how I know so much about what's going on." It was kind of a relief to admit. People were always so nervous about how she knew everything. But there was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

"In your future, you are…?" Jiraiya let the question trail, clearly hoping for an open ended answer.

She indulged him. "26 years old, Naruto's twin, been Hokage for less than a year. I'm sure people are not happy with me suddenly disappearing. It was not done on purpose." She thought about it. "It must have been very awkward. I had a meeting scheduled with the Kazekage. Imagine having to explain that the Hokage has been misplaced, and then simply never finding her." Aiko let out a genuine laugh. "Sasuke must have been so pissed."

He gave a surprised curse. "You're joking."

It was kind of funny. "I'm really not," Aiko admitted. "Naruto and Sasuke and I played rock-paper-scissors for the hat when Tsunade retired. I won. I wonder who took it next. Either way it'll be fine." She stared blankly at the floor. "They're both very capable. Good kids."

"Kids your age?" Jiraiya prompted.

"I helped train them both, they'll always seem like kids to me," Aiko admitted. She scratched her hands through her hair and huffed. "I'm weak for both of them. I broke into Konoha today," she admitted, honesty that shocked even her. "To wake Sasuke from the Tsukiyomi. He thinks I was a ghost." She let out a rough laugh. "I couldn't stand to leave him like that. He's so little now. Not like he should be, he should be tall and so grumpy. Please take a moment to imagine an Uchiha trained by Tsunade."

Jiraiya took in a sharp breath, clearly trying to gather himself. "So you came here by accident, then?"

She nodded. No point in lying. "And I can't get back," she said dully. "I was doing an experiment. Fuinjtusu. My specialty is space-time. Hiraishin. I don't use it like dad. I was trying to reverse polarity and bring a seal to me. I failed and succeeded. I brought a seal that existed in my time to me, as I also traveled to a seal that preexisted me. One that dad had left. In Kirigakure," she clarified. "That's why I'm here. Yagura thought I was there to kill him, and wasn't going to leave me alone. So I had to kill him. But I fucked it all up, so then I had to take responsibility for Kirigakure. It is a mess, did you know that?" She cut herself off right before she got to admitting about all the drug smuggling she did in order to keep Kiri in the black. Jiraiya did not need that information.

"Did you revive Minato purposefully?"

"No," she said, with feeling. "I would never. He was dead far too long. He belongs there now. It warps you." She twisted her hands in her lap. "The longer someone has been dead, the harder they are to revive. And the less they like it," she said darkly. "It could be coincidence, but they also… seem to die sooner."

She could feel Jiraiya's chakra fluctuate. Oh. She shook her head to cut off that line of worry.

"Like I said, dad wasn't really my doing," she explained. "Death did that. He doesn't follow the same rules. Minato is… not quite normal, but not in special danger. Except that since he's the one from my home, he's doomed." She shrugged. "I don't know what will happen when he dies," she admitted candidly. "Has he talked to you about this? I'm sure he knows to be afraid. His soul might dissolve. Might wander forever. Might get trapped in this universe's afterlife, with the Minato who is already there. His Kushina is alone now."

"That's enough for now." Jiraiya's tone was strained. The beep came again. "It's been about three minutes. Can we continue this later?"

Aiko lifted her head and eyed him. He seemed stressed. "Sure," she allowed. "But you lose 5 minutes of time every time that you call a pause."

"That's fair." Jiraiya ran a hand up the back of his hair.

But actually, she was feeling a lot better. It was kind of cathartic to get that off her chest. She crossed her legs at the ankle and straightened, blinking at her not-godfather.

"Minato did know that, by the way," Jiraiya admitted. He made a face. "He is really hoping that you can help him get back."

She let out a wild laugh. "If I could get back, I would have left." Her tone might have best been described as "cheerful despair." "It's impossible. At least, it's not possible with the way that I got here. And I could not begin to figure out how to return. If research on the topic ever existed, it does not exist now. It died with Senju Tobirama. Minato and I are fucked."

[rosieartsie]

Happy STS! Is there a story that haunts you? Something you never finished, or something you wrote but lost somehow? Something you’d like to revisit but haven’t, for whatever reason?

Oh yes, I have a whole world and magic system and set of characters and plot arc for a story that I probably won't ever finish. I wrote a script version of it, and I've tried to start the story up in proper prose maybe 3 or 4 times? Before giving it up. It was originally called The Mistress and the Golem as a working title [I quickly came to realize that's not my word to use, didn't decide definitively what I was going to switch it to] about a woman who was sent to prison for adultery and returned home and realizes she knows a terrible secret about one of the leaders of her country. She learned this secret because her lover told her that this particular councilor had done a Very Bad Thing before he threw her under the bus, fled with his wife to try and avoid the councilor and ended up getting murked by the time she got outta prison.

If she tells anyone the truth about what she knows, she'll endanger them, and she has a whole family that she loves despite the fact that she's been ostracized for her crimes, so she decides to make a person [which is an illegal form of magic] that can know her secret and protect her. At first the created person loves her because that's what the magic makes him do, but as she ends up having to go on a journey with her cousin [and her cousin's polycule lol] to try and prove that one of the councilors is evil as well as not get assassinated, as well as track down the proof which is ANOTHER animated person that's gone completely insane and is just on the loose, the Mistress' created person begins to develop his own identity and he falls in love with her, but also with life and the world and learning how to be the sort of person he envisions himself to be. I think it's a good story I came up with, I've thought about making it a comic too but god help me when it comes to comics I'm so intimidated. The magic system had 3 types of magic [technically four but one is illegal, the magic that gives life] those types being: Destruction: Your good ol' elemental combat magic, lightning, fire, ice, earth, etc Construction: Magic that's designed to fortify and protect, everything from like, magic to make walls impenetrable to strengthening weapons Sensation: Magic that effects sight, empathy, and can communicate visions, so like, illusion magic, magic that makes you feel things the other person feels, and even in some people there's divination there that falls under Sensation Creation: The illegal magic of giving and sustaining life, especially when it comes to making autonomous individuals or creatures because to do that in the first place you have to imbue them with a particular goal? And they usually don't live long enough to stop being obsessed with the goal you gave them and develop their own motivations, but that's where the Mistress learns a thing or two when she doesn't end up using her construct just as a shield but treats him like a person. See it's sweet cuz she made this person thinking she needed someone to protect her, but what she really needed was someone she could trust. Yeah, I had a whole plan for this lol, maybe I'll actually pick it back up one day, but until then it's just a 178 page script in my google docs lol

[fablesfancies]

Bad Idea

No beta, my cat eats fish.

Winter knew the moment she met Sirius he was trouble. Yet somehow...she couldn’t bring herself to walk away.

Warnings: 18+, Spoilers for Chapter 8 on 

This was a bad idea. Possibly the worst Winter had ever had in her life. She knew what she should do. 

She should scream. Throw something at his smirking face. She should summon Spica or Alpharetz. Literally anything other than let him get away with whatever he wanted.

“Sirius…” Her tone should’ve been harsh, bitter, angry. Instead she was stepping closer to the man who’d destroyed the tower, throwing all this world into chaos. 

“Summoner,” his tone was the same teasing tone she’d known him to use in most interactions they had. How could he be so casual after throwing her already confused circumstances into further chaos? Was he truly that bored?

“Why?” Finally something that was at least close to sane coming from her mouth.

“I missed you,” His deep voice danced around her real question, sounding not at all sincere. “So I came to see you.”

“Right.” She huffed, crossing her arms. “You really care about what happens to some nobody from Mid Earthheim. Probably about as much as you do about the people around the tower.”

His lips twisted down as he moved closer. She had forgotten how tall he was compared to her. It didn’t stop her from glaring upwards into those shimmering pools of green.

“You seem to have a poor impression of me, Summoner.” He blinked, the color was as red as rubies. “Yet you summoned me before…And even now, you’re not calling for help. Could it be that you actually wanted to see me too, hmm?”

It hurt how easily he’d seen through her. Her throat felt like she’d swallowed glass, That killed any idea of screaming. It didn’t stop the tears from welling up. Bastard. Not that she was much better. How stupid was she?

“Ah!” A tawny finger brush at the corner of her eyes. Winter met his gaze. His blue eyes blazed bright. “You did…”

“Ass.” She hissed, scrubbing angrily at her eyes. “Ever since I got to this damned plane it’s been nothing but trouble! Sorcerers at each other’s throats for the stupidest of reasons, and now you’ve started to pull everything apart at the seams!”

He tilted his head, eyes settling into an amethyst. 

“I wish I could hate you all…” Winter sniffed. 

“Let’s hope no constellation grants that wish.” Sirius chuckled. “I’d hate to have you truly out for me.”

“Ass.” She repeated.

“I am.” He ran a hand to smooth her hair. She hated herself for reveling in the warm soothing strokes against her scalp. “But it’s what has to be done. I just came to make sure you were alright.”

“Right, because dealing with all this mayhem and knowing you’re out there wanted by half of Bound Arlyn.”

“Only half?” He grinned. “My my, I didn’t realize you counted as half the population.”

“Don’t…” She dropped her head against his chest. “Please not now…”

“Ah, Summoner…” Sirius tucked her into a warm embrace. His hands rubbed gently against her upper back. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you had feelings for this sorcerer.” His words reverberated against her ear.

“You don’t know better.” Winter grumbled. 

The hands stopped. She could feel his frame freeze against her, breath catching. He took several quick steps back. His eyes were an explosion of colors twisting in on themselves as he stared.

“Winter…” 

“You don’t have to say anything about it.” She waved him off. “I know I feel pretty stupid for how deeply I feel about you. I mean, who loves someone hellbent on turning the world upside down?”

Sirius'ss eyes shimmered.

“And I don’t believe Spica for a minute about you strengthening the Contell having anything to do with me.” She shook her head. “I have no illusions about it. You played me. I haven’t hit the stage where I’m angry enough to try and strangle you yet, but I know damned well you don’t feel–”

Her words died as his lips crashed into hers. Her thoughts followed suit as his hands cradled her back and head. Her fingers threaded into the loose locks of holographic hair. His mouth was hot, searing the taste of black licorice against her tongue. Bittersweet. She wanted to taste it forever. She’d settle for memorizing it. Her body pressed into his, allowing all sense of time to flit away as her heart pounded.

He pulled back, panting. His eyes twisted from bright red to glittering gold in a few rapid blinks. By the stars, he was beautiful.

“I did.” Sirius gasped in a breath. “The Contell wards for you. And I do.”

“Do?” Winter blinked deliriously. Her mind was trying to process the sensations. It wasn’t working well without oxygen. Information was just beyond its reach. “Do what?”

He gave a breathy laugh. “You need me to spell it out? What a greedy Summoner.”

The world was coming back into focus. Somehow it made even less sense than before. The taste of him was still on her lips. His confirmation of Spica’s theory. Why was she burning so much?

“Ah.” He glanced at the door, clicking his tongue. “I hadn’t meant to do that…”

“You just came to see me, be cryptic, and leave?” She’d kissed logic goodbye the minute he’d kissed her.

“That was my plan, yes,” He smiled ruefully, eyes burning a deep ruddy color. “I should know better. You have a bad habit of ignoring my plans.”

“You kissed me.” Winter pointed an accusatory finger at him. “How is that my fault?”

“You kissed me back.” Sirius's eyes bloomed into a bright red. 

“Well congrats,” She huffed, throwing her hands up and turning away. “Now we’re both confused.”

“I’m not.” She glanced over her shoulder to see him casting a spell on the door. It didn’t take but a moment before he was turning back to her. His eyes flickered from palest of blues to purple, to bright red. 

“Sirius?”

“If I have to make one thing clear to you, I know the selfish thing.” He strode towards slowly. “Luckily it might make some things clearer to you as well.”

“What are you…” Winter trailed off as his hand pulled hers to his lips. They brushed tenderly over her knuckles, carmine eyes boring into her.

“Oh…” The word warbled nervously out of her, followed by equally nervous laughter. Oh stars, he meant it. 

“May I?” He murmured the question against her skin. 

“I…” Her throat constricted again. It was Sirius'ss specialty; stirring people up to watch their reactions. She’d just thought he would never take it quite so far. He’d never been able to take it when she’d flipped it around on him. Unless this was him in a rare moment of honesty. If it was, where did that leave her?

“You don’t have to,” His tone was gentle as his fingers released hers. She didn’t move her hand. “As I said, I only came to see you were well.”

“I want to.” Her voice managed a hoarse whisper. “I just…don’t want it if you don’t mean it.” Stars, how stupid was she? A dishonest man would take her up. She was practically admitting that if he reached back out for her she would accept him and his word. It was a liar’s dream. A terrible idea.

“Would you believe me?” His eyes were ghostly pale. He was Bound Arlyn’s most wanted criminal, a powerful sorcerer who shifted shape as easily as she blinked. He’d shot her, manipulated her, teased and misled her. There wasn’t a person in all of Bound Arlyn more likely to lie to her.

“Yes.” 

Sirius reclaimed her hand, pulling her into his chest. She followed willingly. This was her worst idea of her life. Stars damn her, she wanted him though. 

He seemed to read her desperation, leaning in to recapture her lips. She surrendered, eager to drown in him. Her free hand explored his exposed midriff. He stuttered against her mouth as she traced him with her fingers.

“Greedy,” He chastised in a single breath. 

“Needy.” She rebuffed, pushing on to her tiptoes. 

Sirius chuckled, letting her hand go in favor of fumbling with her clothes. Her freed fingers found the sides of his jacket. It was a desperate tangle for a moment as they pulled apart to push the offending clothes off. 

Sirius finished first, grinning wickedly as he slid behind her. He peppered her neck in small kisses, teeth grazing as he moved. It sent delicious shivers along her spine, and pleasant heat below. 

“Too distracting?” He teased, seeing she’d frozen at the sensation. 

“Please don’t stop,” She begged, hurrying to undo her pants. 

“As my Summoner says,” She couldn’t see his eyes, but she felt his lips. His fingers made quick work of her bra. Freed from that, he moved his mouth down her back, trailing kisses. 

“Sirius…” Winter’s breath hitched as she slid out of her pants. “Please…”

“Impatient,” He murmured against her ear. “Do you need me that badly?” His fingers brushed along her thigh. 

“Yes…” She pleaded, reaching for any part of him she could find with her hands. He caught one and used it to twist her around to face him. He was breathtaking, pulling her hand to place a kiss to the palm. His red eyes drank her in. She could feel his smile against her palm.

“Beautiful.”

The compliment brought fresh tears to her eyes. Sirius was quick to kiss them away. His scent enveloped her, anise, rich vanilla, and a hint of salt. 

“I love you…” The words fell past the glass in her throat. This man was going to hurt her before her time Bound Arlyn was over–already had. He was possibly the worst choice in her life. She should stop this. Turn it around. Add ‘but this can’t be.’ 

“My Summoner,” He led her towards the bed, hand squeezing hers reassuringly. 

She could. Probably even should. One look into those eyes settled the choice. She had no guarantees of surviving Contell, The coming disasters, or anything else in Bound Arlyn. Sirius was many things, but looking into those red eyes, all she could see was the man her heart had decided on.

Winter squeezed back. Maybe it was a mistake, but by every constellation in the sky, it was one she wanted to make. She hurried to join him on her bed, straddling one leg.

“You really do complicate my plans…” Sirius sighed dramatically, his eyes a twisting kaleidoscope of colors.

“Good,” She pressed a kiss to his hand. “I’d hate it if the inconvenience wasn’t mutual.”

“You never cease to entertain me.”  He hooked his free leg around hers and flipped her over back first into the pile of pillows. He grinned down at her, eyes bright red. “Allow me to return the favor, Summoner.”