#sometimes the romance is good fun and sometimes its the least interesting part for me; really depends

[ranseur]

adding mako and raleigh from pacific rim to your list of great m/f platonic pairs!

OHH thank you! yes i love them a lot! i forgot to mention them in my list.

i guess someone could make a case for a romantic future for them, from the time Mako was Gazing Respectfully at Raleigh's abs, but the final scene with the forehead touch and hug was perfect! i'm really glad you mentioned Mako and Raleigh because i LOVE that they didn't go for a kiss

also Pacific Rim... really gave us the gift of 'drift compatibility' as a term for being connected in mind and body without it being necessarily romantic. the other platonic drift compatible teams in that movie are splendid as well, the Striker Eureka father son team, the Crimson Typhoon triplets, and of COURSE Hermann and Newt (another two blorbos i rotate in my mind) speaking of Hermann and Newt, while the m/f platonic pairs are uncommon and very special to me, i will also say I love the m/m and f/f platonic pairs too!

[magpiefngrl]

hey! curious new writer here. which fix of yours were the easiest to write and which were the hardest? in what way?

Hello anon! Thanks for an interesting ask.

OK I'll start with the disclaimer that every fic has its difficulties as well as moments when it flows, but there have definitely been some that poured out of me with great ease than others which were a constant struggle.

The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy, my first drarry, was written at the height of my obsession and it poured out of me. I wrote like a fiend all day and would go to bed at night and reread what I wrote. I breathed that fic day and night for the weeks it took me to write it. It was also the most fun I had writing, prob because I was a complete unknown and there were zero expectations from me. Similarly, The Full Monty, written just after TMODM, was an easy fic to write. I remember I read the prompt and was immediately assaulted by images and started laughing on my own and was like, OK I need to claim this, the fic is writing itself.

Similarly but in a more tortuous way, dirtynumbangelboy poured out of me too. More tortuous because it took me ages to find the right beginning, and by then I was behind with my deadlines and got stressed. Also, I wrote it in a sort of dread of the Erised fest, because it had some amazing writers that year and I was intimidated. I remember my goal was to "at least not embarrass myself" .

But, aside from the doubts and stress, dnab itself flowed like nothing else. There are passages that I really love, even now years later, and they are exactly as they came out the first time. I did very little editing (compared to other works).

With The Boy Who Died I made a fun post on tumblr about a mdzs AU of drarry and then the idea wouldn't let me go so I had to sit and write it. Luckily it was summer and I didn't work and I could spend my days writing it. There were moments I got stumped but it mostly came out easily.

Finally, a lot of my short fics poured out of me in one go and came out almost perfectly formed. The Dare, A Perfectly Normal Reaction, and my MCD The Death You Carry are good examples.

Fics that took ages at first:

so my thing is that I have to find the right opening to begin the story, otherwise I can't proceed. I don't plan; the first scene/chapter is my plan. And sometimes I get stuck for yonks. With The Unquiet Grave I began with a Draco POV, him being a politician and Harry his bodyguard, had an interesting first scene and then---nothing. It's like I hit a wall. Zero words come. When I have this feeling, I know I need to go back and revise. Long story short, it was when I changed the POV to Harry that somehow the whole gothic mood came about and I felt the auspicious click: I got it. That's what the story is. A gothic romance. After that, it was easier.

The same thing happened with Hush, darling. I rewrote a first scene fruitlessly several times until a random bit of inspiration fell into my hands: the visual of a card game. I began with it and I let it guide me and the whole plot/stakes/cast fell into place.

Fics that needed a LOT of work and had to be dragged into existence:

The Gift is the first that comes to mind. First couple of chapters were pretty easy and then I was stumped. Writing it felt like dragging myself up a slope, step by step and also not being happy with anything, so that was fun. :/

The other is 9 ½ Days, which took actual years to finish. In that case the middle part was the hard one. I wrote the beginning fairly easily and the last chapters, the plotty ones, also flowed. But the middle. Zeus almighty. It took me years and I thought and thought and thought about it a lot. Finishing this fic was an immense relief but also a source of pride, especially because I really liked the result, and judging by the comments I get, people seem to love it too.

Thanks for an unusual ask! It was good to ponder about my fics and my writing process. The same issues seem to crop up with my original works too, and it's helpful to remind myself that I got over those issues before and I can get over them again.

[wisp-enclosure]

So Wisp, what's this about the Catrats being in love?

Let me preface this all by saying that Lucasta and Kudo are very good friends.

This isn't me being facetious by the way, it's a fundamental part (to me, because I'm delusional) of their 10+ year slowburn. All this elder dragon nonsense might have forced them into proximity, but it's NOT what's keeping them together.

The catrats' interests overlap; Lu's rune crafting and Kudo's research into practical magitech often go hand in hand. Kudo admires (and honestly envies) Lu's tendency towards out of the box thinking, and thinks she's brilliant. Lu, meanwhile, knows that Kudo is a certified genius and thinks that absolutely sick, and values his insight.

And it goes further than that. Kudo appreciates how kind and caring Lu is (even though he worries she sometimes goes overboard at the cost of her own comfort). Lu finds Kudo very sweet and selfless (even though him doing things for HER instead of the other way 'round makes her antsy). Kudo appreciates her unwavering support, Lu appreciates his seemingly infinite patience with her intricacies. They're similar in many ways and perfectly complement each other when they aren't.

They're both shut-ins that hate leaving the house and just want to talk about their projects together, basically.

What else?

Well, turns out they're broken in the same way too.

Kudo's destiny was never his own to write. He was going to be Kudu or he was going to be Snaff; if anything, being Kudo was more of a temporary state of being. A blank slate for other people to mold. He isn't sure there's anything to him. At least, nothing good.

Lu was born to serve. Her Legion, her father, whatever mate was picked out for her. Lu wasn't afforded the chance to find out who she was because it didn't matter. What she's supposed to be is useful. That's it.

Neither of the catrats have a solid sense of self. Different circumstances, but same core issue. And becoming commanders at such young ages certainly didn't help. They can't see who they are deep down.

But they can see each other. And they love what they see.

Lucasta and Kudo might not be sure in their own identities, but they recognize the other as clear as day. There is an unspoken understanding. It sucks, but there is a certain amount of comfort in having someone by your side that's just as lost and confused as you are.

They can't see what the other sees in them, but they do paint such a beautiful picture of it.

So when does this all happen?

Well, that depends on how you define "when" and "happen". And "this". Arguably the first time their blossoming romance starts to bubble to the surface is during HoT.

Where they're fighting for basically half the expac.

The specifics of the fight are for another lore post, but it culminates in a big blowout argument in Tarir and ends with Kudo pleading with Lu to share her burdens (both commander-related and emotional) because he cares about her dammit! Lu can't put her finger on it, but she starts to see Kudo in a slightly different light after that.

LWS3 is when things become much more obvious, because that's when the crush Kudo's unknowingly been nursing reaches its peak. He's still oblivious, of course, but he does recognize that SOMETHING is happening to him. Why is he so frustrated and jealous when Lu gets flirted with? Why does he keep staring at her when she isn't doing anything? Why is his heart racing? Is he dying? Must be.

PoF is THE BIG ONE. Arguably the most important catrat expac just by virtue of how it affects their relationship. Kudo dies. But you knew that I'm sure.

But he dies FOR LU. And as she cradles his lifeless body 300 realizations hit her at once, but they all lead to the same conclusion: she loves him. She loves him and now he's gone. It took her this long and now it's too late.

Kudo meanwhile is having his fun little field trip in the ghost zone and comes to the same realization at roughly the same time as Lu. Sacrificing yourself will do that I guess.

Okay so what's the hold up?

Me. :} Just kidding. Sort of.

You'll notice that PoF takes place halfway through the story and as of EoD they're STILL not together, what gives?

The problem is twofold.

Lu, ever reluctant to share her negative feelings at the risk of being a burden, had started to open up to Kudo after that fight in HoT. By PoF and onward he is her emotional anchor and confidant. It felt so good to not have to hide or lock up her feelings in front of someone. But that's also sort of the issue. Lu is being open but she still feels like a burden when she does it. Every time she comes to him for comfort she feels so so guilty to put him in that situation. Like a liability.

To Lu, telling Kudo how she feels is yet another of her problems he'll have to shoulder, on top of everything else he's dealing with. It's selfish. And she's not even useful to him, has nothing to offer; why would he ever love her? Not to mention the whole "different species" thing.

Kudo has his own laundry list of reasons why he's not confessing to her either. Most pressing though is that time he almost killed her. He still feels so agonizingly guilty over the whole incident years later that it makes him sick. Haunts his dreams. In what world could she possibly feel the same? He doesn't deserve her love.

So they're both stupid, basically.

[arliedraws]

Do you think Harry was in love with Sirius? Something more intense feeling at least than just friendship/fatherhood? Because the intensity is burning across the pages and it really reminds me of being much closer to real love than any mentorship thingy, idk how to say. Now, I don't want to be so brainrotted that any platonic relationship is just shipping material. I wouldn't even say Harry's feelings were the same as the canon romantic relationships like Harry/ Ginny and Ron/Hermoine but being someone's main person, apart from parents and kids (which Harry never really got) is often the husband/wife/significant other

look at the transference in ootp, when Sirius pulls back from giving good advise to Harry and Harry withdraws too, and in the end Ginny helps Harry out with the ,,am i possessed part,, something he asked Sirius before. Later after Snapes woret memory bit, Harry confides no one why he doenst have occlumency lessons anymore but tells Ginny he wants to talk to Sirius. Its interesting to me that, Ginny took over some of Sirius's emotional duties and filled a void after Sirius's emotional withdrawal and and Harry grew in love with Ginny later. I think those are linked but that's me.

Also the books are littered with how often Harry remarks upon Sirius's handsome self so that doesn't really help. If Harry was in love and after the war he and Sirius got on with a quiet secluded life somewhere where they could see the sky, do you think Sirius could have developed the same love in return? I'm into Sirry waters here now I guess, but there's something that just keeps reminding me that Sirius was Harry's true main love, wether romantically or otherwise coded. I don't think it'd ever go into sex or stereotypical husbands sharing a flat like wolfstar is but def more closer than best friends. A secret thied option?

Canonically? No, I don’t think so.

I joke that Harry has a crush on Sirius but unfortunately, I don’t think his constant pointing to Sirius’s attractiveness is actually Harry speaking—I think it’s Rowling illustrating the “waste” that is Sirius’s life. She’s trying to show us the consequence of good looks and too much cleverness, as if to say that Sirius has nothing left. Because Harry doesn’t call Sirius handsome post-Azkaban—only pre-Azkaban Sirius is handsome (lol sure Jan). It’s funny to me how she built some really wonderful, complicated characters but did not really understand who they were.

Anyway, as much as I find Sirry fun, I don’t think Harry was in love with Sirius romantically, but he did LOVE Sirius more than anyone else. You could link emotional closeness with romance, I suppose, but I personally feel that it’s simply that Harry sought Sirius’s advice and support because Sirius is like a father to him.

Now, I could see Harry and Sirius living quietly together as adults, coping with their traumas and simply escaping the limelight for a while. Sirius, in my opinion, is Harry’s parent. The only reason I take to the Sirry route sometimes is when I am feeling feral and want to shred stuff with my teeth.

[natashasbitxh]

I have to say it. I started my Shayne journey this week and honestly not mad at all. I just u know, love to see sometimes how Shayne will be looking at chance like he's trying to understand something in him, that he doesn't even realize. Always when chance isn't looking obviously, the other part to me is how gentle the interactions are, sometimes I feel like Shayne is afraid of Chance in a good way I think. Then when they laugh at the same joke, it's rare but curious. I sense like they could be really good friends, but there's something that doesn't let them be close in that way. Maybe they're not trying to be friends, maybe they will always see the other as someone dar away even though they actually have a lot of things to relate. The new video with the fanfic really highlights for me that strange aura around them, like a wall they're too afraid to be friendly, Shayne seemed nervous and I don't understand why, nothing bad really happens and he doesn't like the eye contact too much hahahaha. Those two are a funny little duo, like they would be the kind of friendship that act like they have a secret and wouldn't tell anybody and inside jokes. So I'm saying this to you now, thank you for sharing your love for this duo, they deserve more, even if it's only shipping, it works for me, I don't mind. Another thing is, I would love to see more banter between them in the next videos hahahaha. Chance did a great job in the fanfic, he really is a theater kid. I wonder if he sense Shayne nervousness sometimes or not. Please share you thoughts on them too!!! I would totally read just an essay of them, explaining why you like this dynamic if you ever wanted to write it

Well first off, welcome to shaynse nation! Was gonna say that I hope ur enjoying ur journey but it seems u r!

(Putting more under the cut because this got rlly long!)

Adding on, I also find that Chanse does the same with Shayne! Both of them watch eachother and seem to REALLY be listening. I think Shayne wants to impress Chanse, not always but often he'll make a joke and look over to Chanse for his reaction.

And I understand what u mean sm! I could deffo feel some nervousness from Shayne, once again I've seen other ppl say it but it is so introvert x extrovert!

and honestly even without shipping, I think their dynamic and friendship is so fun and entertaining! They really are so funny together!

I honestly tried to go back and see what video made me think of shaynse, but I honestly can't remember at all!

Honestly, I think I like this ship just cause its so interesting and like you said, gentle? There's this sort of softness that I always associate with shaynse, and even any angst I imagine to be the same if that makes sense. I've said it before, but they really do give me the vibes of evermore (by Taylor Swift), Cigarettes After Sex, Lana Del Rey and maybe even Mitski. Also just throwing this in but I've noticed he's started to give Shayne the "Angela..." treatment, "Shayne..." and I think that shows a development in at least friendship. Like taking out any romance, I think you really can notice how they've gotten closer in videos and have great chemistry. I've also noticed in videos recently that they mirror each other a lot or even finish each other's sentences to an extent and I think that's rlly sweet! I've mentioned this before but Chanse often twirls his hair whilst he's listening or talking to Shayne, just an observation! I've noticed he does this kinda thing (not saying it's just limited to Shayne) where he responds to Shayne with this far off look in his eyes as he twirls his hair. Honestly that may very well not be a shaynse moment and is probably Chanse just zoning out, and quite frankly he's so real for that I relate to that so hard. And I'm sorry but my shipping self...the way Chanse looks at Shayne makes me insane sometimes!! Even when neither of them are talking!! And then when Shayne is talking, the eye contact from Chanse is so FIERCE. I've said before that the formula is that Chanse gazes at Shayne and Shayne cries at Chanse's jokes...and honestly now both things apply to both of them! Shayne also very much gives the vibe that he's nervous to compliment Chanse to his face but absolutely gushes abt him to other ppl (this thought coming from Shayne bringing up Chanse AS MUCH AS HE CAN).

Sorry, this became sooo unorganised but I kinda just jotted down all my shaynse feelings/ideas! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I found it so fun to read and so fun to reply!! Don't be afraid to do it again! (And that goes to everybody!)

Shaynse is a niche ship and I get that not everybody is gonna like it, but I do rlly appreciate shaynse nation and smoshblr in general!

[unavailable-fan]

Just some thoughts on why it's extremely entertaining to watch Bucchigiri?! at least for me and at least now (with 3 ep out)

Obviously the designs, backgrounds, animation, voice acting and music is really good. It's fun enough to watch even without trying to piece together all the details of possible plot development or characterization. The world is bizarre and you never know what will happen, but it's also silly in a way what can remind of silly stuff irl(yes, playing baseball with a basketball, that brings some memories).

Even though the plot isn't clear at all now, i'm still curious about what might happen in the future episodes, cause there's more to each character than i thought at first and in each episode lots of stuff happens. It's both good and bad, but for me it's incredibly interesting, cause it's hard to predict what will actually happen.

And insane details what make no sense at first but then you wake up at 3am realizing "oh, that's what it meant", probably. It just works for some people, but will not work for others, obviously. And i'm in a group who's puzzle-solving and eccentric-fashion-loving parts of the brain just got activated by this show. Kinda spoilers and wild theories, thoughts, observations and bad attempts at analyzing ahead

Right now i think we've been introduced to most main characters, and show may probably continue with awful interactions between them. Awful cause, well, each of these characters wants something different from others, sometimes something completely opposite (like with Senya and Arajin, one wants to fight but has no interest in other stuff, like romance, and the other doesn't want to get anywhere near fights and just wants some romance in his life; similar with Jin siblings, Zabu and Matakara and Arajin and Mahoro in that order, and different gangs). And when there are these dialogue lines and scenes, what kinda feel like they're supposed to make more sense later (like with how Zabu tells where's no "fair" and "unfair" in fights; how Arajin actively avoids talking with Matakara, but is still clearly worried about him, and how quickly his usual commically-happy-and-invincible attitude changes when anyone is hurt; and various comments about gangs' lore in background dialogue; and the fact what there should be a second genie somewhere). It's fascinating if you love digging into every plot detail like there's some big conspiracy behind it. This research activity can be fun on its own, and it's increasingly hard to stumble upon anything what really makes you wonder what is even going on. That is not for everyone, and that's ok. But i won't be able to shut up when i have so many theories about what could happen, or why characters act like they do, because it's fun. First episode is a series of wild events what occurred because characters either ignored something or tried to make something worse for someone because of a personal want. And it just spirals from there. It may be not about how good and right can these characters be, but the opposite, how bad can it get and how can they change it. Everyone is a bit dumb and a bit mean and a bit stubborn, and it's interesting, cause everyone also has something or someone they care about. It's like billiards but with abstract concepts of characters' motivation instead of balls. It will be sad if we just return to typical plot development, though it's not clear what genre are we even watching at the moment. But this will be later, and now i'm having fun with this show, and that's already good.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Do you read manhwas ?? If so then which one?

Yeah, I read webtoon/manhwa and manga a lot.

I am not really fan of manhua but there are exceptions for that one too, for example; 'Your Dream is Delicious' was one of my exceptions for me because i love characters. I love it.

I dont have specific genre to read one because you can never know which story has good characters and well written plotline but i generally prefer to read;

Yaoi- But i cant enjoy the story, if sex is only thing or main focus.

Romance- The reason i love romance because i love series that focus on relationships the most, though i hate when 'romance is the only focus' or when lovers act like they only care about each others but still, at least, story explores the interaction between characters.

Fantasy- I dont mind slice of life but sometimes its fun to explore supernatural or fantasy world.

Psychological- What can i say, psychology is my favorite thing because i dont enjoy shallow-typical characters, i want to know more about them, thats how i can get into story and enjoy from it. Though, its hard to find well written one.

Horror- i think every story needs a little/small horror element.

Shounen ai- Unlike yaoi, slowburn romance when characters get to know each others first works better because two strangers having sex and magiclaly falling in love is so unrealistic to me. Not to mention, most of them are romanticized toxic relationships without consent, i hate it.

Shoujo ai- I mean, there is no difference for me between shoujo ai and shounen ai, if its well written. Though, its hard to find good yuri too.

This doesnt mean i dont read other genres but i usually read those ones the most. I read reencarnation stories too but most of the mare cliche, its hard to find good one.

The thing is; Its been years since i start reading manhwa, I dont remember which ones i read because i read a lot and i still read.

But i have a few favorites, unfortunately i dont remember everything i read so just a few faves of mine.

Bastard;

Genre; Crime, mystery, psychological, horror.

I enjoy this story a lot.

A Joyful Life;

Genre; Slice of life, shoujo ai, romance, drama

I love main characters and the interaction between them.

Stagtown;

Genre; Horror, mystery, supernatural.

Recently, it has finished, i really enjoyed the horror elements of the story.

Pyramid Game;

Genre; Psychology

Both story and characters are good. Another 'win the game/war' type of story but its about more mental struggle than psychical one. If you love stories with tension, you might like this.

King's Maker;

Genre; Shounen ai, yaoi, history.

Main focus isnt romance. Its about changing the kingdom they live in.

The Best Smell;

Genre; Shounen ai.

Just adding here, cute shounen ai story, though art c/should've been better. Not necessarely my fave but i am just adding here because i dont remember other stories i read.

Her Shimchang;

Genre; Shoujo ai, romance, history, supernatural.

I keep rec.ing shoujo ai, even though i hardly read one, (i usually read yaoi/shounen ai). I often end up hating most the things i read so its rare to find a story i love from beginning to the ending and this one is one of them.

Hooky;

Genre; Fantasy, adventure.

It has very cute art, and storyline. I love when characters go to adventure, discover the world around them, interact with others. Though i didnt enjoy the second part os tory, still worh it though and i love the twins and their relationship the most.

I Love Amy;

This one isnt necessarely my fave because story is new to me but i find the story, characters and art interesting enough to mention it. Its about yandere girl who fall in love with the girl she considered love rival, lol. I love the fact that they actually give yandere girl a character and story and allow her to learn true love.

I read so many good stories, especially romance, yaoi but these ones are the ones i remember right now.

Bonus; I also read Dr Frost, The Guy Upstairs, Like You Maybe, Sugar & Spice, High Class Homos, Fictional Skin, Tower of God etc on webtoon app. Others i read on random websites, there are too many to write it here so for now, thats it.

[ginnymoonbeam]

A couple months ago I decided to watch the whole HIStory series. I had already seen Trapped (more than once) and I watched Love in the Future as it aired, so I picked up the rest in order from series 1-4. Here's my teeny tiny review of each one, in order of least favorite to favorite.

A note: overall this series is drastically unconcerned with whether its relationships are "healthy" or "unproblematic." I'm not bothered by that, and in fact some of my favorites are... well, you'll see. Definitely recommend looking for content warnings before starting any of these - I'm also happy to answer questions about content as long as they're not "how could you enjoy media that features XYZ".

Onto the reviews! There will be a few spoilers, but only things I think viewers are genuinely better off knowing before they start.

HIStory 1: Stay Away From Me

Brief premise: after their parents' marriage, Feng He gets a new roommate in his stepbrother Cheng Qing, who's a big star. It's all too much for Feng He's fujoshi best friend to handle. I quite enjoy a good stepbrothers setup, but this one fell pretty flat, and I hated the fujoshi friend situation. Shipper characters are on thin ice for me in general, and this one was so intrusive that it ruined the other things I might have enjoyed. I did like the leads pretty well - I have a soft spot for bratty characters who are secretly under a lot of strain - but the relationship development was just so-so.

HIStory 5: Love in the Future

There were parts of this I really liked, mostly the side couple, but it was sooo tedious. It's this low on the list because the ratio of "minutes I enjoyed" to "minutes I resent giving away" is so abysmal... at least the H1 installments come in at barely over an hour each, so I don't feel like I wasted so much time on the ones I didn't like. This show is trying to do at least three different genres and doing none of them well. I don't even know how to sum up the premise... there's a guy who's gotten zapped 20 years into the future by mistake, but more of the show deals with business drama and eventual corporate espionage at the department store where the other main characters are centered. There's so much going on and none of it quite coheres. I'm too bored and annoyed to talk about it any more.

HIStory 1: Obsessed

This gets top out of the three I really didn't like, because it had the most id candy. And, again, because it's short. The setup is neat: a guy who's just gotten his heart broken gets zapped back into his younger self and tries, unsuccessfully, not to get with the same guy again. The love interest is just incredibly pushy and aggressive, sometimes in a way that's bad!hot and sometimes in a way that's just bad. I also hated the reveal at the end - there was no reason for him not to explain himself immediately instead of watching his lover's heart break, and I have no patience for that kind of thing.

Those were the three I didn't really like. Now we're going from liked to loved.

HIStory 1: My Hero

This one was a big surprise to me... I would have skipped it entirely if I wasn't on a completionist project, because the premise "girl dies, gets put into a boy's body, and has to try and win over her boyfriend" is incredibly unappealing to me. But they took it in a direction I wasn't expecting and I found myself having a great time. It couldn't have sustained itself for any longer, but with an under-90-minute runtime it's a fun little story.

HIStory 2: Right or Wrong

Enjoyed this one a lot - I love a nanny romance in theory, but I'm picky about kids in media. This kid is both charming and realistically childlike, and one of the leads does plenty of yelling about the kid's initial bad home situation, so I don't have to. The basic setup is that Fei Shengzhe discovers that his professor's 8 year old daughter is being neglected, gets hired to take care of her, shakes his professor/boss into being responsible, and of course eventually falls in love.

I liked most of the relationship dynamics - when there's a big structural power differential, I like to see it balanced in-story by their personalities or other factors, and this show did that well, but there were still moments where I wanted to yell not at school! or transfer out of his class ftlog! Overall, still positive, and I'll probably rewatch it when I'm in the mood for some nicely layered domestic romance.

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line

I am not a sports person but I loved these sports boys very much. A new transfer student gets strong-armed into joining the school's volleyball team, ends up pursuing the team's previous ace, who's permanently unable to play due to an injury.

Xia Yuhao thinks he's sooo bad until he discovers a burning need to be bossed around and I love that in a man. Qiu Zixuan won my heart immediately and kept it - he's so sensible and focused and stoic, and the moments where he struggles against the reality of his injury hit so hard in contrast. This one had me hooked from beginning to end. And the side couple is exactly what I mean when I say I enjoy a good stepbrothers setup - the established intimacy and tenderness juxtaposed with confusion and guilt makes a tasty tasty emotional cocktail.

The final three shows are why this post has been sitting in drafts for a couple weeks. I've been undecided on how to rank them, and I've been processing a ton of thoughts about the two new-to-me ones. I'll try to stay brief here, and keep my longer thoughts for possible future posts.

As for ranking - I simply can't. I love all three very much, so let's just say they sit together at the top spot.

HIStory 4: Close to You

I'm fascinated by stories that take some basic messy yaoi tropes and peel them back, really dig into the layers of what's going on and how they affect people, all while keeping it fun and horny. Love in the Air does that with consent (masterfully, as I will argue until I'm blue in the face), and Close to You does it with the boundaries of intimacy, the extent to which we're required to draw rigid lines around types of intimacy and what happens when those lines get smudged.

I do understand why a lot of people simply do not fuck with this show. There very much are multiple sexual assaults, including between one of the main pairs. And while the other stepbrother romances in this series do what they can to lean away from the incest angle, this one leans hard into it. A lot of the show operates on the level of farce - it's doing absolutely outrageous things with a straight face. If you can have a sense of humor about the things it's playing with, there are some sublimely funny moments. But I don't fault anyone for saying "nope, that's not for me."

Teng Muren and Xiao Licheng, the best-friends-to-lovers, are one of my favorite couples from the whole HIStory franchise, and the only thing better than their intricate and frenetic dance around each other was Ye Xingsi watching with his fond, weary, experienced-gay gaze. Also I am obsessed with the way people just come out and say shit in this story. Nobody keeps a secret for more than half an episode, even when they really probably should. Plots are so often driven by people not telling each other everything, and watching this one run instead on everyone telling each other way too much was fascinating.

HIStory 3: Trapped

I can't possibly rank this one in relation to the others because I watched it long ago and I've seen it several times. It's been high on my list of beloved BLs since I first watched. Meng Shaofei is one of my all-time favorites, he's so stubborn and loving and honest. I love how hard he and Tang Yi fight for each other once they get together. I love when guys get lost in the woods handcuffed together, I love Tang Yi's sexy bffs and weaponized makeouts, I love the angst and hurt/comfort and yelling crying fights between two people who love each other. I don't feel the need to say much more: it's the most popular of the series, and rightly so.

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count

I think I watched MODC in the best possible way: knowing the ending, and in 2023 when there are so many good happy-ending BLs I can't possibly watch them all. Had I watched it when it aired and been hit with the ending out of the blue, I think I'd have been as devastated and lastingly bitter as a lot of people who did.

I really do think viewers are better going into this one spoiled, so in case you don't know: one of the leads dies abruptly at the end of the penultimate episode (not onscreen), and the final episode is the surviving partner processing grief many years later.

The presence of grief - past, future, or potential - grounds a love story for me like nothing else quite does. Without the ending, I would like MODC very very much but I wouldn't love it quite as fervently as I do. The final episode is complicated and difficult - we see Xiang Haoting at a moment when his grief over Yu Xigu is rearing up due to a time of transition in his life. We see him let go of some of the ways he's been coping in the past, we see him fall into a dangerously low state and then come back out of it, but we don't see him get over it and move on. That's because you don't get over some losses, you don't move on - they sit beside you for the rest of your life, and you learn how to be happy but never entirely how to not be sad.

The other thing I love most about MODC is how extremely Boys the boys are. The leads don't look the age they're supposed to be, but they act it. No other BL I've seen has done so well at capturing this type of teenage boy, bursting at the seams with hormones and the fiery need to DO things. They lose control and do the dumbest shit even though they know better, and they're also overwhelmingly thoughtful and caring just when you least expect it. The way Xiang Haoting sometimes just moves because his body can't be still; the way the whole friend group teases and derides but also rallies around each other with fierce devotion. Haoting's reaction when his friend comes out to him is perfect - a minute of teasing and incredulity, then an immediate pivot to "I've got your back."

The contrast between youthful, hopeful energy and adult experiences of pain and loss makes the key axis the whole show rotates around. The side couple has a big age gap, with high schooler Sun Boxiang pursuing Liu Zhigang, a wounded and weary gym hottie of about 30. Yu Xigu is the same age as Boxiang and Haoting, but he already knows grief. Haoting and Boxiang with their fearless optimism beat like waves against the walls of these sadder, warier love interests until they each decide to dare to try for happiness. In the one story, Haoting ends up inheriting his lover's sorrow, and it will take some other, future connection to get him to try for happiness again. In the other, Boxiang's persistence not only brings romantic happiness to Zhigang, but eventually heals another loss that Zhigang had given up on ever seeing restored.

There's a moment during his pursuit of Zhigang when Boxiang swears he'll love him forever, and Zhigang says no, you can't promise that, no one can. Which is always what I want to say to the BL schoolboys, because I too am older, wounded and weary. You can't promise forever, no matter how badly you want to. All you can do is love each other well for as long as you can, and know that life is long, and joy follows sorrow follows joy.

[pinkanonwrites]

this isnt me requesting a fic or drabble or anything, and i do NOT mean to sound critical/mean in any way of how youve written Vash, but i think you have an interesting oppurtunity to have Reader find out >> call out Vash on sleeping with his prosthetic on

admittingly, ive never watched any form of Trigun (i only know some things via Pop Culture Osmosis). i just like your romance writing; you are very good at polishing your craftsmanship, it's, again, very good. so ill read whatever (so long as i.. vaguely recognize the property at least). so i dont know if Vash cannonically sleeps with his prosthetic on-- but as a disabled person who has friends with missing limbs, even if the creator of Trigun hypothetically says it's fine that Vash sleeps with it: no, it's not. not in real life. it can cause injuries to the limb and the stump needs to de-stress. that's how real life prosthetics work (and, off-topic, is a detail i really like about Full-Metal Alchemist! they talk about this and show it! a lot! (maybe Trigun does too, idk, again, i havent seen it))

but yeah! idk if sleeping with prosthetics is something canonical to Trigun or if it is something you accidentally assumed (no hard feelings there either way, lots of disabled media accidentally protrays this. Hiccup in How To Train Your Dragon and Finn in Adventure Time are both widely beloved disabled representations and also their creators fuck up sometimes and have them sleep with their prosthetics on. it happens. you live and you learn). if youd like to learn more, there's a youtube channel called Oakwyrm where disabled representation is the main point of discussion (fun fact: they even have a video analyzing the disabled representation in a Barbie fairy movie, that's fun lmao). i would link you the specific videoes id recommend you watch, but tumblr doesnt like anons sending links, so i just recommend checking out their channel (again: they have videos on Hiccup of How To Train Your Dragon, Finn of Adventure Time, and Edward of Full-Metal Alchemist. so there are a variety of resources on their channel about how prosthetics are handled in media. all three of these videos are typically pretty short and fairly succinct. i recommend watching all three and any other video topic of Oakwyrm's that catches your fancy, but im not gonna push you to watch something you dont wanna watch lmao) just wanted to give you that as a good opening point for resource about disability

i do think you having written the Reader seeing Vash sleep with his prosthetic on gives you a unique opportunity tho! (again, this isnt a Request. i know those are closed. its more of an "i dont want you to feel bad and i also dont want you to panic and take down those fics or anything, here's a helpful reminder that theres Other Options and you can use this as a jumping off point for future fic ideas or you can ignore this idea and just Write Prosthetics Differently In The Future", i dunno, its your blog, your writing, im not in charge lmao) you now have a history of the Reader knowing he sleeps with it on and can now potentially write a fic about why him doing that would make sense from a character stand-point. like why isnt he taking care of himself? why is he risking ruining that prosthetic or hurting his stump? does he not typically feel safe enough to be that vulnerable or is it a self-image thing or, or, or...? like, there is oppurtunity there. and it does make sense in some of your fics why he wouldnt-- the sick-fic you wrote recently is one of my favorite of yours ever, and it makes complete sense that Vash wouldn't go the extra step of taking off his prosthetic if there was a chance he'd need to use that arm to help take care of the Reader or if it's over-use is part of the reason why maybe his body runs as warm as it does. its just some spaghetti to throw at the wall, y'know, see if it sticks, scrap it and cook something else up if it doesn't. i dont want you to think im entitled or anything, again, this isnt a request at all. just some proverbial spaghetti to throw, you can feel free to respond via scrapping my pitch and doing your own thing reactive to this correction on how living with prosthetics works. maybe Reader is a techie who Vash visits to fix his prosthetic. i dunno if that's a role already taken in the canon of the show/manga. but hey, whatever you wanna do now that you know one shouldnt sleep with their prosthetic on and have a starting point with research, im sure ill be all for ♡ do whatever you want, its your blog ♡♡♡

but yEAH, ive encountered enough Squirrelly Writers who panic at any sign of innacuracy or problematic aspects in their hard-work where i think me being on the back-foot and going "you do NOT have to delete everything you wrote that is inaccurate to real experiences with prosthetics" makes sense. so i do want to reiterate that: you do NOT have to do that (and, ngl to you, fam, i would feel really bad if you did; i really like your work with Vash, like i said, the sick-fic specifically is one of my favorite fics by anybody that ive read in a while, that shit will be sticking around my noggin). i just wanted to reiterate that. i dont think you are a bad person or that this is immoral or anything. i think its a common mistake and, ill admit, i know squat about that other cgi show you watch with another prosthetic-user, but i noticed this was recurring with Vash, so i thought id gently mention it since i know it is a common mistake people make without, y'know, realizing its a mistake. and if Trigun shows Vash cannonically sleeping with his prosthetic, shame on them, that really sucks, they should do better by him and their disabled audience. but you?? you're just one person writing romance for fun. youre not a corporation with editors who should know to research this stuff before publishing. (or, who knows, maybe Trigun does show Vash taking his prosthetic off before sleeping, i dunno, im a casual fan of YOUR work, i dont know anything about Trigun beyond what i vaguely absorbed via Pop Culture Osmosis due to having been in the anime and sci-fo community in the past. i have no idea if they do or dont do their research. they should. but i certainly dont know if they do or not)

so yeah. just wanted to put that out there so Now You Know and the ball is now in your court as towards what to do with that information now that you have it. im sure ill love whatever you do with it, again, big fan of what you make as is already ♡ lots of love to you and yours, have a good day!!

(scooping up your proverbial spaghetti into a pot for later use in fanfic inspiration)

Thank you so much for all of your kind words! As for Trigun, as much as I love it, it's not the most realistic when it comes to the actual drawbacks and difficulties of having a prosthetic limb. It could be because it's a futuristic sci-fi piece, or the writers just don't want to get into it, or they just didn't know much about actual prosthetic management, but Vash doesn't really make a point to remove his prosthetic intentionally all that often. They've shown him sleeping in it before, and as far as I can remember in the OG anime the only time he didn't have it was when he was switching to a new model of arm.

There could be canonical reasons for that! It could be because of his vague inhuman-ness, or because he's self punishing, or any number of reasons we could interpolate from the OG mediums that they don't succinctly spell out for us. But reasons aside, the realities of using/wearing a prosthetic limb would make very interesting fic writing details, and I'd definitely like to dig into it a bit more in the future.

This ask actually comes at the perfect time, because as I've been working on my Twitch Streamer Trigun AU I've been doing some research on the realities of being a competitive (or even casual) video game player while being physically disabled. I've been doing a lot of thinking and researching on how people with only one arm actually play video games and custom controllers and set-ups and stuff, so while I may or may not go into it in super serious detail in the future I'm definitely going to at least touch on it more than once!

And last but not least, thank you for being so kind and respectful about commenting! I'm more than willing to admit that if I'm broaching a subject I'm not the most versed in I may make a mistake or two, and I'm alright with that! A long time ago I wrote a Stardew Valley fic and mistranslated some sign language, and like you I had a very kind and friendly reader point out my goof-up in a way that didn't mock me or make me feel stupid. I don't mind being corrected at all, as long as people are being nice about it. I'm only human too, afterall.

Anyway, TLDR; Thanks for being so nice, I'd love to write more about Vash's prosthetic in the future <3

[sharkbaitouhaha]

Tell me about your book !!! (I saw the name of the book btw) I just don't know what it's about . Curious to know why it's not that enjoyable but you're still reading 😂😂

Lola i am about to write you a novel i am so sorry

for anyone curious this is a bout the book "a touch of darkness" okay so! i have to start with the fact that this was a book bought for me for my birthday and was very much a shot in the dark on if i'd like it or not. and this is all going to be very rambly because i'm really not sure why i'm still reading it 😂

it's a retelling of the hades & persephone myth but it's like a ✨spicy✨ retelling. so look i love some good smut but i'm not a big romance or smut book reader, it's just usually not my jam or something i'm drawn to outside of fanfic. i adore greek mythology which is why the book was bought for me, with the biggest worry being "is the retelling going to be good enough for my dear darling wife who admittedly is sometimes too critical of retellings". My sweet darling beloved husband also did not realize this was a smutty book he was buying which actually is the funniest part of this entire story to me.

at the time of writing this i'm about 50% done the book. now the way this author has gone about doing the actual retelling or reworking of the myth is just, in my opinion, not great. however it really reads like maybe they had this other story and just slapped some greek mythology characters onto the book. the story very much feels like they wanted to write that kinda 'billionaire, possessive, enemies to lover' type story which again just not my usual type of story but hey it's good to give things a chance. also persephone, who this particular book really places the focus on, is just really fucking stupid

the smut is also just not really smutting to put it in the worst possible wording i can. there's like hints of it but nothing has really happened. perhaps i am just impatient but also there's been moments where there's definitely build up and then it doesn't go far and just ends very abruptly.

honestly it feels like maybe the book would have been better if it was not meant to be smutty at all, or there was more commitment to the smut. it almost feels jarring, like i'm being pulled out of one type of story and i'm being plopped into another type of story.

now with all of that i'm sure you're still wondering why is she reading this she has many a complaint. and i really wish i had a firm answer here because i wouldn't be so confused myself. here are some thoughts on why i think i have continued to read it despite all of the above

like sometimes things are objectively bad but they're fun and so it's still enjoyable and while it may not be a super enjoyable book it's also not unenjoyable, it's kind of a middle ground i guess. at no point have i been reading and felt "this is so atrocious that it's a waste of time to read it". so while i don't find it's very good i also don't think it's bad enough to just stop reading. ya know what i mean?

i am also genuinely curious to see where this author takes the myth. i don't necessarily think it's a great retelling or rework of the myth but i am so curious to see where she takes it, at least for this book because i don't see myself reading the rest of the series. that's part of the fun in reading retellings is seeing how things are changed and while i don't love the current choices i've seen the authot has in fact piqued my interest enough to see where things go, or at the very least where this book ends in terms of the myth.

it's also a pretty quick read so it doesn't feel like it's draining or taking more mental energy than its worth to read it. and hey why not try to just finish a book in a genre you never would have bought yourself

anyway i don't know if any of this makes any sense or really explains why i'm reading it. i guess there's just parts of the story i am somewhat interested in but as a whole im just not really liking it. if i had to rate it right now i'd say it's like a 2/5 so not the worst but also not good.

[smoothshine]

Tag game: eight shows to get to know me

I was tagged by @scienceoftheidiot and @goneadrift (thank you!! 🥺💕), and now the deal is that I get to rant about a couple of shows I like, so let's get straight to it!

1. House M.D.

- Knowing how many seasons are there in this show, I think it says something that I purposefully rewatched the full thing several times, and I probably will do it again at some point. Many characters from this series have a special place in my heart, and oh boy do I love myself a good medical drama sometimes. + the different medical cases are just very interesting for me to observe, even though I am by no means a medical specialist, let's say I know a thing or two from this field x)) (and some of you are probably aware of that, ahah)

2. Lethal Weapon

- This one is another one of these shows that I occasionally come back to for a rewatch, the chemistry between two main characters is amazing, and the main plotline is pretty good imo, + it's a classic detective-involving series, where, granted, not every case is super intriguing or complicated, but I think the characters and their development and relationships with each other - all this usually goes first when determining a series that I'll most probably like, and it delivers that part for sure! (Yes I used this specific gif because now I can't stop picturing this, but with Royais + Hughes, lolol, sorry I have a brainrot)

Also, look at this silly little totally not dysfunctional guy, come on, you can't help but love him:

3. Lucifer

- Ohohoho this one was one of the first quite long-term obsessions for me - I was watching it with my good friend as it was coming out (pretty sure starting from like, season 2 we began to watch it as it was airing, or at least I was and then I dragged this friend along for the ride, ahah), and I remember having so much fun with it - making theories, trying to predict the direction for the next season, simping over the main cast, being (more often unironically than not) frustrated with love triangles, all the good stuff. I also really like the soundtrack used in the series, and, of course, I have to mention the fact that its main leads are a blonde badass detective who is actually a sweetheart and her goofy dark-haired bastard-certified material partner who can actually be very scary and powerful to anyone but her :333

Go figure if I have a type or not, right (omg I just realized she also has a cute pet name and it's "detective")

4. Fleabag

- This one was such a pleasant surprise for me, the further I was watching the more invested into it I was getting, and in the end it turned out to be such an emotional rollercoaster, while also being able to handle a balance between more serious scenes and great humor really well. The romance plotline turned out to be very interesting too - overall, it's a great pretty short series that I can definitely recommend for people to check out at some point (I was indeed very happy when I found out @goneadrift was watching it too, hehe)

5. Sherlock (the BBC one)

- Honestly, this one is associated with many good memories for me - we used to watch it for a couple of years in a row with my parents during New Year, and it was like, one of the highlights of our celebration. Life just seemed so much easier these days, and I always remember them with warmth and joy. But! Apart from the sappy stuff - I genuinely think it's a nice modern AU Sherlock adaptation, hehe, as always, I pay a lot of attention to the chemistry between the characters, especially the main cast, and I think pretty much everyone nailed it - I find the characters from this series to be very enjoyable to watch. The other point that I want to mention here is the directing - I remember myself being very impressed by some of the shots and directing/editing choices they made there, and, of course, the main soundtrack is now pretty much engraved into my memory, hehe

(So yeah, aside from the last season, which I don't think is that bad, but definitely not as good as the earlier ones imo, it's a great show!)

6. Elementary

- Surprise surprise, another Sherlock adaptation involving detective storyline(s), who would've thought, right? Honestly, I don't remember a lot about it, since I haven't rewatched it in a looong time, ahah, but, believe it or not, I still love it and have a couple of good memories associated with it. Used to watch it during weekends back in the day when I still watched TV, lolol, but yeah, I think it's a pretty unique Sherlock adaptation, and you can definitely have fun watching it!

7. Forever

- That one is unexpected, definitely not my usual series of choice, but surprisingly I finished it pretty quickly and was glad I decided to give it a shot x)

(For the record - it's a series about a guy who works in the morgue while trying to find how to get rid of his immortality curse 👀👌).

8. Fullmetal Alchemist

- Gonna follow the lead of @scienceoftheidiot and add this one on the list too, because my god this series has me in a chokehold. Specifically Royai stuff of course, but I think in general this is the kind of anime (both FMA and FMAB btw) people who are generally not that much into anime can enjoy (I am saying as I am, apparently, one of these people, ahah). It's just a great story with a great cast and lovely imagery and soundtrack, I mean, what else can you possibly need? (Meanwhile here I am, going absolutely insane every time I think about my two beloved war criminals kissing)

O, here they are, by the way!

Aand that's all for today, no-pressure tags for @lassusog @chrysopoeias @nightofnyx8 @fullmetalscullyy @jedidragonwarriorqueen and anyone who wants to participate (also because it doesn't allow me to tag more people for some reason??), in case you feel like it! :3

[grapecaseschoices]

I know Lloyd and Hayden are quite new ocs, but I was if we could get some facts about them as well pls. 👀👀

Ty anon for indulging me. I would LOVE to speak about Lloyd and Hayden.

Lloyd

- i think I've mentioned but Lloyd has been into Uma all his life. But he never saw it as such. He just was like oh yeah this is my platonic SOULMATE but one of the few things that could get him Upset was Uma spending a lot of attention with anyone not him and Travis [and to an extant Wanda. Suddenly getting the feeling he would glare holes into Js head. Djhdhdhd J probably made him feel inadequate]

- Other than his possessiveness re: Uma [which he tried to curve] and the way Travis could wind him up easily into an argument, Lloyd was rather chill. In part because I think it is a default of being easily overwhelmed, so it is easier to stay quiet. But it is also just an observant person. It is easy to see when you're not talking.

- He loves music. But he also enjoys playing video games. I think he is a pretty dedicated gamer [don't ask me what he's into but I bet it's singleplayer games unless it is rpg stuff ]. It is not to his passion of music but he loves it. It is definitely a calming thing and something he does for fun. He can be shy sharing about his music but you can get him Talking about games.

- He also loves to read. But I don't think he likes getting into reading discussions because people can get pretentious. Also he likes romance novels and really doesn't want to deal with peoples judgments on that/ I imagine that is probably another thing that gets him huffy.

- I don't think he is going to be close to any of his family [don't quote me on it]. Except maybe his uncle. He admires Deon a lot, tho. And I think he knows Maude loves him but it isn't hard not to connect her to people he had to please -- but at least he isn't afraid of her.

- I know I mentioned he likes going shirtless. But he also loves sweater vests [wearing just that] and leaving his buttons unbuttoned. If you don't see his chest its because he is wearing a sweater sweater, he loves those too. The softer the better. Maybe he will learn how to knit.

- He has real good dexterity and spatial awareness.

- He genuinely loves NYC. It is home to him. It doesn't matter how loud, rude, or whatever it can get. He loves it.

- He used to take pictures of Bodega cats to share with travis.

- his biggest vices are smoking and self flagellation. I don't think he is a big drinker and he doesn't curse. Much. In fact I feel when he does curse you know he is PISSED.

- Other than smoking, one of his biggest acts of Rebellion was his hair. Once he got older he very rarely cuts it. It is often shaggy and sometimes two toned. Usually black and blonde. Or dark brown and white. Other than that, before dropping out, he was a Good and Obedient boy.

- He really is so disgustingly in love with Uma [and Travis]. How doesn't realize is beyond me. Maybe its from a life time of self suppression.

Hayden

- I said I wasn't sure if Hayden dated Jean or Jade. But more and more I think it is Jean. I think it would be interesting to explore Jean needing to keep the relationship private vs Hayden was always so... Hayden. Even before she found the language she was looking for [realizing she is trans when she was younger, realizing she is bi until recently], she was always SO ... as confidentially herself as she could be. So it will be interesting to sus out those past complicated feelings and work on current healing so they can be together now.

- Hayden's style is very much masc. Picture a stud queer lady and you will see Hayden. Sweatpants with hoodies, curly hair pulled up with an undercut. Headbamd and rolled up t-shirt. The SNEAKERS. [/sorry I'm just swooning over my own character] But she also loves like vintage bowling shirts and overside shirts with ~chill and cute prints [like fruits and dark flowers etc]

- She has tattoos. I don't know what they are yet but she does.

- Hayden wears glasses. She prefers round ones, usually metal frame and large. Shes been wearing glasses most her life.

- I think Hayden is gonna be short. I think under 5'3. She has a muscular frame.

- Hayden did a lot of sports when she was younger. She was a bit stocky too as a bb. She was on the wrestling and [gridiron] football teams in HS. And football when she was in middle school too. Mma recreationally at the local Y. That said she can be a little bit if a butter fingers.

- Hayden is very big hearted and I don't see her as a big grudge holder. But she isn't naive about it. She is also a gremlin. I picture her as a human with the zoomies. She is positive and happy go lucky, but she is also highly sarcastic with a big mouth. So you will probably get your feelings hurt with a bright smile. [I'm still figuring out her vibe. Like I can SEE it but I can't spell it out. But a quote I have for her is 'She is water. Powerful enough to drown you, soft enough to cleanse you...'

- She recently realized she is bi but Kai is gonna one of the first she puts her moves on. So it will be fun.

[ghostoftonantzin]

Books I have read this year, 2023, roughly in order

I enjoyed doing this last year, so I thought I would do another little write-up of the books I read this year and what I thought.

I've read 52 books this year, hitting a goal I hadn't thought to set. That includes a few graphic novels, but not the audiobooks, which I listened to 15 of this year (I spent a lot of time driving). Same as last year, I've annotated the audiobooks with an asterisk.

I also started listening to Backlisted this year, which significantly influenced my reading choices.

Under a cut, because it got long

Swedish Cults, Anders Fager (1/2) - I saw this was originally published in 2009, and I feel like the first story in this collection somehow really echoes that time. Which is probably a strange thing to say about a horror story.

When Washington was in Vogue, Edward Christopher Williams (1/13) - very sweet, very interesting look at a time and a place I didn't know much about.

The Cement Garden, Ian McEwan (1/19) - I expected to enjoy this a lot more than I did, based on how it's often described as a great "fucked up" book. I think the teenage boy POV just didn't do much for me.

Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons (1/20) - a reread, for the first time since probably 2014 or so. I enjoyed it (and understood it) a lot better this time around. I got to the back half and couldn't put it down, which is a strange thing to say about a parody of the rural novels of the 1930s.

Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir (2/12) - finally got this from the library. I didn't enjoy it as much as the first two books in the series

Fun Home, Alison Bechdel (2/24) - a reread. The final page always destroys me.

Cassandra at the Wedding, Dorothy Baker (2/25) - Very literary. I think I enjoyed it, though I can't muster up the energy to form a stronger opinion. The scene where Cassandra pulls out the bridesmaid dress she bought was memorable, though.

Are You My Mother?, Alison Bechdel (2/28) - a reread. Scratches the same itch as Fun Home, but doesn't tie the family narrative into the theoretical themes as cohesively.

Surviving the Applewhites, Stephanie S. Tolan (3/12) - another reread, to see if it was as good as I remembered from fourth grade. It held up for the most part.

The Secret to Superhuman Strength, Alison Bechdel (3/13) - finally, not a reread. Fun, erudite, perhaps not as tight as Fun Home, but another excellent Bechdel.

Ravishment, Amanda Quick (3/24) - sometimes you have to read an entire romance novel in an evening. This was fun, though its plot and that of "Mistress" (see below) blur into one another.

Season of Migration to the North, Tayib Saleh (4/7) - I think I would have enjoyed this book more if I had read it in a class where I could discuss it and learn more about the historical context behind it.

The Bloater, Rosemary Tonks (4/9) - of Backlisted fame. I should reread again, more slowly, to get a better taste for Tonk's use of language.

Mistress, Amanda Quick (4/15) - also a fun quick read, though I can't remember much of the plot.

Excellent Women*, Barbara Pym (4/25) - yet another attempt to get into audiobooks, and it semi-worked this time. Mildred sets a high bar for other Pym protagonists to follow, and I thought Pym created an excellent portrait of post-war life for unmarried women and the minor indignities and intimacies that accompany it. Also ridiculously funny, at least to me.

Clouds of Witness*, Dorothy L. Sayers (5/12) - I wanted to read Gaudy Night, but I figured I should read at least a few Peter Wimsey mysteries that came before it. I think my favorite character was Lord Wimsey's mother.

Star, Yukio Mishima (5/16) - an interesting portrait of a disaffected youth and of fame in Japan at the time it was written.

Strong Poison*, Dorothy L. Sayers (5/16) - the first Wimsey mystery to feature Harriet Vane, and my first encounter with Lord Peter's office of overlooked older secretaries, who provides the enjoyable detour of Miss Murchison making an important breakthrough in the case. Not bad, though not super memorable.

Have His Carcase, Dorothy L. Sayers (5/17) - the only Wimsey mystery I read instead of listened to, because neither library app had the audiobook. This one was too reliant on keeping timetables straight for my taste, but I still read it in a day.

Beyond Black, Hilary Mantel (5/22) - possibly the best book I read this year. Bleak, bleak, bleak, and wonderful for it. Yet one of the most cathartic happy endings I've ever read.

Thus was Adonis Murdered, Sarah Caudwell (5/28) - caught my sense of humor by the second or third page. Hilariously dry mystery, and understandable even if you don't know legal jargon.

The Feast, Margaret Kennedy (5/31) - this book is not even remotely a thriller, is in fact sort of an elaborate morality play, and yet I couldn't put it down. The conceit- that a cliff collapses onto a hotel and everyone inside dies, but not all the hotel guests were inside- keeps you guessing at whose sins are bad enough to merit a karmic death.

Starlight, Stella Gibbons (6/4) - a lot grimmer than I expected, and almost ahead of its time in terms of the (I'm going to say) pointlessness of its ending, in a "people come into the main character's lives, stuff happens, but the main two old ladies aren't actually affected" way. Not a book you would expect to find demonic possession in, but it's there and it's played straight!

The Shortest Way to Hades, Sarah Caudwell (6/6) - I find it interesting that all of these mysteries center around details of things like inheritance law and yet all feature murder as the main crime, and also that (spoilers) the villain is disposed of in a manner that does not require the main cast to get involved with the police.

The Sirens Sang of Murder, Sarah Caudwell (6/9) - by the second volume in this series I kept trying to guess who the murderer, and I was never ever able to do it. Not that I've ever been good at that part of mystery novels, but I do appreciate Caudwell keeping me on my toes.

Gaudy Night*, Dorothy L. Sayers (6/11) - finally, the book I read three prior mysteries for. I found this one fascinatingly slow for a mystery and much more focused on the life of women in academia in that era than I had expected. I particularly enjoyed the character of Miss de Vine, who at first seems like the classic absent-minded professor, only to reveal herself to be much wiser in ways of the heart than she appears.

The Black Maybe, Attila Veres (6/19) - short horror story collection, translated from Hungarian. Not bad, but none of the stories were super memorable.

Lessons in Chemistry, Bonnie Garmus (6/22) - I did not enjoy this and probably would not have finished it if my mom hadn't highly recommended it. The characters felt flat and the plot struggled to build enough tension for the emotional beats to hit. I also feel like the four-year-old character did not act anything like a four-year-old, though I'll admit I don't know a lot of four-year-olds.

Hackenfeller’s Ape, Brigid Brophy (6/26) - I would say this book wasn't that exciting, very dry and academic for its bizarre plot, but one detail near the end (which I won't spoil) knocked me sideways and tbh probably made the book for me.

Less Than Angels*, Barbara Pym (6/27) - I had to go back and add this while writing these reviews because I'd completely forgotten to list it at the time. Not as good as Excellent Women, though I also had to adjust to the multiple perspectives as opposed to just one.

Comemadre, Roque Larraquy (7/2) - a reread. Still one of the strangest books I've ever read. Highly recommend.

The Sky is Blue, With a Single Cloud, Kuniko Tsurita (7/3) - I'd had this collection of manga one-shots for about a year, and decided to finally read it when hanging out at the library when the water was out at my apartment. It's very interesting to see her style develop and to learn more about the alternative manga industry.

Mrs. Caliban, Rachel Ingalls (7/4) - I had been vaguely meaning to read this for a while, then found it on Hoopla. Looking back on it, it rivals In a Lonely Place (the Dorothy Hughes one) with regards to drawing California in the mind's eye, though the mood of their particular Californias are very different.

Black Wings Has My Angel, Elliott Chaze (7/8) - the tension at the end of this book is like pulling teeth, it's incredible.

Scruples, Judith Krantz (7/24) - absolutely frothy and frequently ridiculous, but also fun. Their are main characters named Spider and Valentine, and it's taken completely seriously. It's actually a really interesting look at the values and beliefs of the 1980's as reflected through pop culture.

Days in the Caucasus, Banine (7/28) - I was more interested in the sequel to this memoir, Parisian Days, but figured I should read this volume, about the author's childhood in Azerbaijan in the years leading up to its incorporation into the Soviet Union. It provided a really interesting perspective of the Soviet Union from a resident of one of its subject states.

Frederica, Georgette Heyer (8/6) - my first Heyer. I'm impressed by her ability to write annoying younger siblings and walk the line between "overly cute" and "overly aggravating".

In the Miso Soup, Ryu Murakami (8/17) - good, though not my favorite of the year by far. The violence depicted did manage to turn my stomach a bit.

My Man Jeeves*, P.G. Wodehouse (8/20) - I've realized that I need to listen to audiobooks that are fun if I'm going to survive long drives, so I turned to the Jeeves series (I only listened to the Jeeves stories in this one). An interesting introduction to the character, especially since it starts in America instead of the England of the more well-known tales.

Love in the New Millennium, Can Xue (8/29) - I'm not sure if this book is meant to be very surreal, if I'm missing cultural context, or both, but I will say it does serve me well to be a little befuddled by books sometimes. This book has a strange, flowing sense of perspective, where it moves between perspectives and the stories of its characters, only slowly unveiling where it's emotional weight lies. Very interesting.

The Inimitable Jeeves*, P.G. Wodehouse (9/1) - second collection of Jeeves & Wooster stories. Good, though Bingo isn't my favorite side character.

Flesh, Brigid Brophy (9/1) - the beginning chapters are incredibly sensual in a way I can't describe, but after that it inspired an incredible feeling of dread that something would go terribly wrong. Despite the fact that this is a satire of young adults in 1960s London, I could feel emotional catastrophe creeping around every corner. I don't think this was Brophy's intention.

Ice*, Anna Kavan (9/8) - somehow not anything like I had osmosed it being. The narrative flows between reality and fantasy so fluidly that it's incredibly easy to wonder if you spaced out and missed something important while listening to it. The plot is also fascinatingly simple and surprisingly free of actual conflict: despite impediments, the hero ("hero") rarely actually encounters any opposition that seems like it could truly keep him from his goal. This adds to the feeling that everything occurring in the book is barely-veiled symbolism.

The Glass Pearls, Emeric Pressburger (9/13) - the tension in this might have honestly been too much for me. Good, but I don't know if I can read it again.

The English Understand Wool, Helen DeWitt (9/16) - sometimes you read a book and recognize that it's very good, while also being annoyed that what it is is different from what you want it to be. I understood it worked as a morality tale, but I found it limiting and frustrating. I will also indulge in a bit of cattiness here and say that for a book about luxury and high-quality goods, the book design chosen by New Directions for this series feels like a cheap set of children's books. (I read this on an online checkout from the library, so I only saw the book itself in a bookstore.)

Right Ho, Jeeves*, P.G. Wodehouse (9/18) - The fact that Jeeves and Bertie were on the outs for this one did stress me out, I will admit.

In a Lonely Place, Karl Edward Wagner (9/22) - the stories pick up in quality in the back half, in my opinion, though none of them are true duds. The last story and standout in the collection, yet another twist on a vampire tale, really draws its strength from the grimy-yet-glamorous depiction of an art student's life in London.

Kissing the Witch, Emma Donoghue (9/27) - I enjoyed how each story folded into one another and found this book hard to put down. Also very gay, loved it.

The Drama of Celebrity, Sharon Marcus (9/27) - I was reading this for background for my fic, and it was somewhat helpful. It's really mostly an analysis of Sarah Bernhardt's career, with some light theory of celebrity to contextualize it instead of the other way around like I expected.

Malpertuis, Jean Ray (10/15) - I probably shouldn't have read the summary for this book before the book itself, but I'm not sure I would have fully understood the plot if I hadn't. Not a knock on the book itself.

The Great God Pan and Other Stories*, Arthur Machen (10/16) - I don't read a ton of nineteenth-century literature, so I was surprised by how compelling the title story was, especially when listened to. I also found some of the imagery in "The Novel of the White Powder" horrifying and would not be out of place in a modern horror story. The final story was a bit of a slog, though.

Heartburn*, Nora Ephron (10/20) - a relisten to the version narrated by Meryl Streep. I downloaded it based on a recommendation describing the audiobook as turning it into the one-woman monologue the book was meant to be, and I can't think of any higher recommendation to offer than that.

Casting the Runes and Other Stories*, M.R. James and others (10/30) - I knew about M.R. James from popular culture, but I honestly had not expected "Whistle and I'll Come to You, My Lad" to center so much around golf.

Invitation the the Waltz, Rosamond Lehmann (11/1) - I read most of this in one sitting, playing old music through my headphones, which felt really ideal. Setting most of it during one formal dance allows for a sense of insular-ness while allowing the details of the world to be woven in. If that makes any sense.

Crazy Salad and Scribble Scrabble*, Nora Ephron (11/3) - it's really interesting to listen to these essays written during the second wave feminist movement and realize that we've been having the same arguments for 50 years. It's also interesting to read about the minutiae of Watergate from the perspective of those watching it unfold in real time. So many weird, unmemorable cultural-political things that have gone down the hole of public memory! (I need to note here that the last essay in Crazy Salad is, based on my memory of the first time I read it (I skipped it this time around) very transphobic, so I can only recommend this collection with that heavy caveat.)

BBC Radiophonic Workshop: A Retrospective, William L. Weir (11/7) - I first learned about the BBC radiophonic workshop through the Backlisted episode about Rosemary Tonks, and this was a fascinating look into that period of British history and the origins of electronic music. It's also helped me pinpoint how to find that sort of music I think of as "alien abduction music", which is a bonus.

Joy in the Morning*, P.G. Wodehouse (11/10) - I didn't realize this wasn't in the 3-book arc that starts with Right Ho, Jeeves until I was partway through. Still, quality Wodehouse.

Good Morning, Midnight, Jean Rhys (11/17) - despite listening to the Backlisted episode before reading this, I didn't quite grasp what "modernist novel" meant, which meant I was surprised by the stream-of-consciousness flow of this novel. It's such gorgeous writing, though. Depressing as hell.

Winter Love*, Han Suyin (11/18) - beautiful and sad. The main character, Red, is frustrating, even though everything she does is perfectly understandable within the context she lives in.

The Girls, John Bowen (11/21) - the blurbs for this book ("Barbara Pym meets Stephen King") made it seem like this would be both lighter and more horrifying than it actually was. I found it to actually be very melancholy in parts, and surprisingly focused on the emotional aftereffects of murder. The ending, the final paragraph, is gorgeous.

Black Orchids, Rex Stout (11/30) - I'm now trying to find Nero Wolfe books in secondhand bookstores, though I'm limited by the lack of secondhand bookstores in my area (that may be a good thing). I enjoy how Nero Wolfe and Archie play off each other.

The Hearing Trumpet*, Leonara Carrington (12/1) - so, so good, and I'm glad I listened to it as an audiobook, because the narrator, Sian Phillips, is an elderly woman herself and therefore able to conjure up a whole range of different voices for the old women who populate this book.

Mistletoe Malice, Kathleen Farrell (12/6) - I was actually disappointed by this, which might have been a matter of mismatched expectations. However, the Christmas tree never caught fire, and I swore a review I read said it would, so I spent the whole book waiting in vain.

Venetia, Georgette Heyer (12/16) - A delight. Aubrey is a great character, and I enjoy how Heyer has the different characters play on each other.

Great Granny Webster, Caroline Blackwood (12/18) - did not expect this book to have a large section on "decaying old Anglo-Irish homes and their horrors", but I guess that's a richer vein in literary fiction than I realized (see: Good Behaviour by Molly Keane).

Sylvester, Georgette Heyer (12/21) - not quite as enjoyable as Frederica or Venetia, in my opinion, though that may be partly because I waited for almost 2/3 of the book for Phoebe's book to actually be published.

Providence, Anita Brookner (12/28) - beautiful prose, of the sort that makes me realize my own inadequacies in both my writing and my critical capabilities, because I can neither replicate it or describe what makes it so compelling. This book is also so tightly crafted for a story where almost nothing happens. It ends up exactly where it's been leading all along.

[is-this-tf]

Do you have any tf book recs outside of animorphs? 👀

Hmmmm, tough question! Admittedly, I haven't read that many physical books that are explicitly or at least featuring TF stuff myself, usually I get my TF engagement through other mediums. Though I have read a few! Just a heads up on spoilers for them as I talk about them a bit, though. If any folks have TF book recommendations themselves, feel free to reblog or reply and take it away!

One I read back in junior high that Absolutely helped shape my brain was Clete Barrett Smith's book Magic Delivery, that featured a LOT of costume-triggered transformations, that really honed in on the sensory experience of like becoming the subject of the costume on the parts that the POV character TFs, like- it had a robot TF in it that I can still picture in my head to this day. This definitely was part of the reason why costume trigger TFs are a HUGE appeal for me nowadays, they were probably some of my first experience getting a taste of TF in general and this book really helped my young mind sort of get a real good solid sense of what it could be like, what it could mean, how it could feel. The book was written for younger readers, but that hasn't stopped me from enjoying something even as an adult. (Mild warning for ableism in the case of one of the villains here, which. Magic costumes that TF you, you can probably guess where it goes from there.)

Another more recent example is a series I'd been following, the Lazy Scales series by DM Gilmore (it's got dragon tfs in it :D), is one I'd read for a while and enjoyed but unfortunately can't give a full picture of- I'd stopped reading after around book 4 (due to emotional devastation and the time it took me to hear about books 5 and 6), and the series and its sequel series have since been completed, 6 books each and 12 books in total. While I can't speak for the direction the Lazy Scales series takes in its latter half, or for the sequel series in its entirety, I did really like the way Gilmore took the sort of the struggles and frustrations the main character had from being fundamentally inhuman and relating it to experiences in queerness and neurodivergence and autism. There being fundamental misunderstandings and incomprehension of certain concepts between characters of different species, but not like detracting from the overall sapience and understanding of the characters themselves, for example. The barriers of communication are rather worked around or reframed in ways that, while aren't perfect, are at least serviceable to the characters and the goals they're trying to reach together. Canon queer romances, turning into dragons as an illustration of queerness and autism and things that had worked before just suddenly feeling too off and wrong to look to for security again, sillier times early on in the series that have ramifications and grow more serious as the series goes on.... as I gather. The will be moving into direct spoiler territory, but around the end of the book I stopped following the series after was a pretty brutal depiction of identity death, that even moreso was at the hands of the character's abuser that had been harming them throughout the books before. I do think I have more faith in the series now that both this series and the sequel series have been completed, but for the entire next book afterward (as far as I gather) that character remains in and is explored in that state.... which might have scared me off, at the time. I think I'd be willing to consider returning to the series sometime later, though, when I'm feeling up to it. We'll see!

DM Gilmore has written and published more TF related books, including a LitRPG miniseries and a solo featuring toony TFs, the former I haven't seen and the latter I've only given a cursory glance- but they do seem fun! I would be willing to recommend Gilmore as a TF book author to give a look to if you're interested.

[mannatea]

The World Could Be Beautiful, a Tales of Symphonia ‘fic (Chapter 1)

Word Count: 6,030 Summary: After a chance encounter in Izoold, Raine and Regal both get a lot more than they bargained for. (A one-night stand 'fic with consequences.) Chapter Summary: It begins. Pairing/Characters: Regal/Raine, mention of assorted OCs as the story requires. Other characters set to appear are Genis, George, Lloyd, Colette. Warnings: Blanket warnings for the entire fic: pregnancy (and all that comes with it), discussion/mention of abortion, power imbalance, fantasy racism. Rating: Explicit, because there is sex in it. I don't write particularly explicit sex, but because it's here the rating has to be like this. Genre: Romance/angst/bumbling through an awkward and frankly frightening situation.

The title is the link to Ao3 for Chapter 1!

Notes under a cut.

The title comes from the poem Good Bones by Maggie Smith, particularly the last two lines: "This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful."

This story is a romance about two people finding their way in the world together despite the ugliness and rot of the world around them. I was struck by how much this poem felt like Raine's character: the way she accepts the world for what it is and views it almost at a distance. She accepts the world as-is, not because she doesn't wish it was better, but because she is afraid of hatred: fearful of feeling it herself and of having it directed at her. If she imagines things to be unchangeable, she can accept the unfairness of her situation and the hate and violence against her doesn't feel personal.

By the end of the game she has changed. She has accepted that the world is rotten, but believes that with the help of others she can make a difference in it. The fact that she travels the world with her brother after the end of the game to try to make things better for half-elves is a testament to how far she has come.

But there is something fresh and painful about Raine in particular finding herself pregnant and the father of the baby being the most powerful and influential man in the world: Regal Bryant.

He also happens to be her friend.

How do you even bring something like this up? Tethe'alla's deeply-ingrained caste system puts Raine at the very bottom and Regal at the top. He has all the power and she has none.

There is no ideal solution to this problem. This is not the kind of situation that can be easily and cleanly resolved. There will be consequences to face and sometimes those consequences will be expose the rot of the world.

But together, maybe they can figure out a way to make at least one corner of the world a better and more beautiful place.

--

I decided not to waste any time getting right to the set-up in this story. A part of me wanted to start it right in the middle of the sex, because it would be a bold opening to the story, but I chose not to go that route because this is primarily a romance and I wanted to explore how Raine felt about bumping into Regal in Izoold. Also, I wanted to cover the situation that put them in a place where they might consider sleeping together.

Raine is always a treat to write, but I had a lot of fun with her in this chapter. I don't think she feels things for other people quickly or easily (perhaps because she is so slow to trust), but once those feelings start developing I imagine she has a really hard time putting them back down again.

--

Regarding the tour of Sylvarant with Regal and Company: I don't often get to write Regal as being very politically involved/active, usually due to the constraints of time in romance stories, so I wanted to include something here. In going with a group around Sylvarant, he can try to persuade these people of some notable influence (and money) that Sylvarant and its history are worthy of their time and care.

I can't imagine he would ever think of history, especially Sylvarant's, without also thinking of Raine. In areas that were of particular interest to her, it's easy to imagine he would have mentioned her. Probably too much.

In his defense, though, had he been able to find her and invite her to join them from the start, she singlehandedly might have made a big difference. She knows a lot—and far more than Regal does.

(And truth be told, that kind of story might be really fun to write, so... I might have slid that into the ol' idea folder.)

To be clear, too, while Regal is the most powerful and influential man in the world*, he does battle dissonance in the ranks of his own company when it comes to using company funds to support restoration projects for Sylvarant... The way he votes is undoubtedly scrutized too.

*This isn't me trying to discredit the Tethe'allan King, Hilda, or Zelos, but I think Regal's reach is likely to be far, far wider than theirs.

So while he does make the effort to make a positive difference in the world and help others, he needs a support network. I imagine he looks for and tries to sway people to support him politically whenever possible, and this is one such instance. These colleagues of his are people he believes he can influence, and hopes to do so through earnestness and honesty.

One of them is Viscount Alaric, who has a minor role in Break Open the Sky (and will have a bigger one in Swallow the Ground). I couldn't resist using him here, though. Actually, the dynamic of all of the OCs here was pretty fun to write.

--

Raine getting to infodump (and everybody clapped) was me blessing her with a little treat before all the pain and anxiety arrives. On a more serious note, this is the kind of crowd that would appreciate her spontaneous "lectures" on a general level. I imagine Tethe'allan upper class society has its fair share of thinkers, and they would be into learning as a recreational hobby. Regal is one such person (read any spoken dialogue from him and tell me he doesn't read essay collections and poetry for fun); it's not hard to imagine there are others of similar taste out there.

I tried not to drag out the dinner because the pivotal moment in this chapter is obviously the sex, as it leads to the rest of the story, but I couldn't just skim it either. Even though Raine's crush might have carried her through to agreeing to sleep with Regal on its own, I was really attached to the idea of her being in a really pleasant mood after having an attentive audience for the first time in a while.

I don't think I need to say the last three years were hard on her. This would be a great experience for her, and not only did I want her to have that, but I wanted that happiness to kind of carry over into their conversation together and then into the sex scene too.

ALSO there was nothing funnier to me than letting Raine just be completely blunt while he tries to think of a polite way to ask. Just be direct, Sir.

--

Don't @ me, Regal is a Real Romantic™.

Also, I like writing the most imperfect sex scenes imaginable. It's just more fun that way; it makes the characters feel more realistic when things don't go exactly as planned or imagined. Of course Regal has a bad gag reflex and Raine lasts two seconds because she's overwhelmed and he doesn't last much longer himself because he's not that experienced.

I was going for "imperfect but kind of sweet."

Her anxiety afterward is partly a fear of her own feelings, partly a fear of being rejected, and that last little bit is a fear of embarrassing him or making him look bad. If his colleagues see her leaving his room in the morning, they'll know what happened. They might make assumptions about her, or worse (in her mind) about him.

It's a lot to think about and consider on such short notice, but she makes her choice to leave based on her understanding of the situation and what she thinks is best right now.

That said, he is still her friend, and she doesn't want him to think this changes that, so she leaves the note and hopes he understands what she can't write down.

--

As always, feedback is appreciated.

[grenadineghost]

hi hi juni :3 for albums: crush on me, burn pygmalion, the bifrost incident, and ed buys houses!! choose as many or as few as you want :D

aaa omg ty!! putting it under the cut bc wow im really really rambly hehe

CRUSH ON ME by Sir Babygirl

The best song on the album

HAUNTED HOUSE. SONG OF ALL TIME. such a perfect song. the ENERGY the MADNESS of the lyrics the way she ends up singing so high pitched he's screaming???

My favorite song on the album

Haunted House. its the best and my favorite and its perfect. song that jumpstarted my haunted house obsession. i am not normal.

My least favorite song on the album

Flirting With Her - Reprise. I think every song is great and important to the cohesive piece of art the album is but the reprises aren't as exciting and this one's intro always sounds like a song from Into The Woods lol

The most overrated song on the album

Heels is one of the only songs with above a million plays which is like,, it deserves that love but there are more interesting songs in the album lol. still a jam though

Most underrated

Everyone Is A Bad Friend. it has very few listens, i think it kinda gets buried because its more melancholic and doesnt have a chorus but holy shit this song wraps its fist around my heart and squeezes. and the repetition of the first half is needed so you can escalate into the "so you think you're good at goodbyes?" part and build up this downward spiral and hljskddk.

The banger of all bangers

THATS RIGHT ITS HAUNTED HOUSE AGAIN! listen i just think haunted house is the best song ever, and if we're defining bangers as high energy and danceability holy shit this song has so much energy. it never stops. its this perfect descent into madness and revelry and i go insane. hi

Rate from 0-10

10/10. this album has HAUNTED HOUSE on it, and everyone is a bad friend and cheerleader, and its maybe the only album i listen to where i NEVER skip a song. its p much a perfect album.

BURN PYGMALION!!!: A BETTER GUIDE TO ROMANCE by The Scary Jokes

The best song on the album

DEATH THRICE DRAWN BABEY!!! such a fucking weird beautiful whimsical ethereal jam. its a perfect representation of the scary jokes - strange and offputting and beautiful and synthy and poetic and gay

My favorite song on the album

Death Thrice Drawn hehe. its,,, my gender, i think. but its tied with No Leverage / No Pleasure!!!! that song is,,, im not gonna fully get into my anxieties but sometimes i feel like my emotions are going to set fire to me and this song is just the perfect story of self destruction. look i have no doors ive torn through the walls ive ripped up the floors laid waste to it all!

My least favorite song on the album

i skip pygmalion sleepyhead and bets against the void more bc i just dont like slower songs as much but i think Your Vicious Kin is the only song ive like never really sought out so its probably that. still good though hehe

The most overrated song on the album

Community Gardens. it pains me to say that because Community Gardens is AMAZING and its the perfect start to the story and it deserves all the love it gets but like cmon the rest of the album deserves that love too! there are more weird songs with strange and heartwrenching lyrics cmonnnn love them all

Most underrated

Wrath of the Termite King, maybe! i might just be saying this bc it was underrated PERSONALLY for a while - i didnt really care that much about it for a long time but lately ive fallen in love with it hehe. its really fun to sing and my best friend taught me how to play it on ukulele so thats a good memory and its so good. tbh i think this entire album is underrated - scary jokes fans seem to prefer april fools and like yeah its great but burn pygmalion is... astounding

The banger of all bangers

Death Thrice Drawn!!!!! It's probably the highest energy track on here and its such a fun weird jam and its perfect to dance to. i need to kiss a girl to this song. who said that

Rate from 0-10

12/10. its perfect. this is my favorite album of all time. i really do consider it perfect - i love every song on it and even the ones i skip more are so beautiful and necessary for the story. something i love about this album is you would expect it to end tragically. jeanine literally burns sylvia's house down!! but then you get crushed out on soda beach and get this surrender to her emotions and the album ends in bets against this void, this connection between jeanine and sylvia, this acknowledgement of how they feel and its... the first time i listened to this album, the day it came out, i expected "a better guide to romance" to be ironic. but i... i do actually think its a better guide to romance. instead of ending in tragedy it ends in them starting to figure out how to work through everything together and its... its really important to me. ALSO THE SYNTHS HOLY SHIT SO GOOD

THE BIFROST INCIDENT by The Mechanisms

The best song on the album

maybe Losing Track? this album goes crazy insane w motifs and character themes and i love how this song brings them all together, its really well done.

My favorite song on the album

ODIN!!!!!!!!! such a fucking jam!!!!! my favorite mechs song by far. it has so much energy and there really is this sense of like,,, excitement and wonder and fuck i want her voice and its just perfectly subtly ominous. also its v cool how it kinda sounds like a train steaming ahead :3 works v well with the story. girlbossing

My least favorite song on the album

im gonna be real? Red Signal. i like it, its a fucking wild twist, and you have to admire the man for going FUCKING INSANE AND COMMITTING TO IT but also like i always skip it lol. i mean ok i think i skip ragnarok v end of the line more when on shuffle but thats just bc i dont like slower/sadder songs as much, i think i like it a bit more than red signal

The most overrated song on the album

much as others like red signal more than me i cant say its overrated because its fucking insane and deserves that appreciation. i guess i'd say Thor? i mean i fucking ADORE thor but im a little surprised its so much more played than anything else on the album (espc bc the lyrics are v story focused? like odin and loki well as standalone tracks but thor is less internal i guess. but idk its a fucking jam though

Most underrated

idk i feel like all the tracks are p rated tbh. i guess ill say Odin? there are less played tracks that i adore but like I guess I'm surprised it's not the most popular when Thor and Loki are like the top mechanisms songs on spotify

The banger of all bangers

RAGNAROK I: RUNAWAY!!! the ragnaroks are all so fun and this one is such a perfect "oh shit oh god we fucked up oh no what the fuck what the fuck is happening". its such a perfect snap into the madness that is the second half of the story and its REALLY FUN TO SING??? i love fast songs where the lyrics just doesnt stop happening and you just power through them kdhjsl

Rate from 0-10

honestly? it might be a 10! there are albums i love more but this is such a perfect cohesive story. its.... as a story its amazing. the motifs the songs the tragic space lesbians the norse myth references the "missle two killed baldr". its soo silly and fucked up and i love it and the twist is FUCKING INSANE.

ED BUYS HOUSES by Sidney Gish

The best song on the album

I mean, Presumably Dead Arm is amazing. But Sidney Gish has released other better versions of it so I'll say What Do You Want From Me Tonight cause that's such a nice sweet well done song that kinda perfectly encapsulates her music.

My favorite song on the album

tbh? Hexagons and Other Fun Materials. its light and silly and its the perfect song to listen to while doing homework you dont want to do.

My least favorite song on the album

Friday Night Placebo is the only one I skip. Listen, slower songs have to work harder to get to me and Friday Night Placebo is boringgg.

The most overrated song on the album

Friday Night Placebo. See above hehe. I was surprised to see its like the 3rd top played song on here.

Most underrated

Cokesbury has the least listens so I'll say that I guess? I mean it's not my favorite but it's good! I don't really listen to it often but. I think like a lot of Sidney Gish songs it ends up working into a groove where it does the thing its doing very confidently without distraction. And it's not slow!

The banger of all bangers

You know what? Its !Ed Buys Houses!. weird to call it the most banger when its entirely acapella but most of this album is p relaxed indie, I think Ed Buys Houses is the perfect song for dancing in the kitchen and putting your whole pussy into it for the under one minute duration.

Rate from 0-10

Hm,, 7? It's really good and I don't listen to it too often ghjkl I think I prefer No Dogs Allowed a bit but its still really good. Also I don't have a place to mention it but Sidney Gish was one of my last pre-covid shows and it was so fun and during the last verse of homecoming serf the mic started slipping and so she fixed it perfectly in time to change the lyrics to "there's no more time left to let the mic fall down" and the crowd went wild and YOU HAD TO BE THERE OKAY

thank you so much for the ask hehe i. love talking about albums i like :3