#somewhere my sister is reading this and shaking her head at me

[yoonia]

blooming wallflowers (m) | knj

⟶ Summary | Your life has been in shambles with only your two sweet girls keeping you strong enough to carry on. It has been a while since the flame of desire you once had within you dim into almost nothing, until the man who spends his life fighting against arson comes into your life (and your two little girls’) only to help light up that fire once again

⟶ Title | Blooming Wallflowers ⟶ Pairings | Kim Namjoon x older female reader  ⟶ Genre | Firefighter!Namjoon, Single mother!reader, Smut, Angst ⟶ Word count | 20,800 words ⟶ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; allusions of past/toxic relationships, healing, usage of alcohol and drinking, dealing with insecurities, age gap with older female reader (OC is in her mid-30s), trapped in confined spaces; contains explicit smut scenes, including: sexual tension, dirty talk, light restraint, soft dom!Namjoon, switching positions and roles (OC taking control at some point), clothed foreplay, grinding, dry humping, thigh riding, implied body worship, breasts play, fingering, clit play, pussy slapping, riding, grinding, semi-public sex (does dining room count?), pet names, groping, biting, edging, oral sex (female receiving), minor hand-job, panty ripping, clit biting, panty sniffing, praise kink, hair pulling, rough sex, protective sex, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm, overstimulation.  ⟶ Author’s Note | Written as a commission for @KimCheeHoo | I’m so sorry this took me forever to finish. Thank you so much for commissioning me and for your endless support. I hope you’ll enjoy this story. Have fun reading!  ⟶ Story Note 1 | Written in 2nd person POV (in case you’re new to my writing, I don’t use ‘y/n’ coding as all of my lead characters are considered as OCs). This story has POV switches, and this is roughly edited, so forgive me for any mistakes. Banner design made by me, age warning divider by @/cafekitsune | Posted in: September 25th, 2024 by @yoonia

⟶ Also written as part of the @bangtanwritershq “Got A Secret, Can You Keep It?” Third Quarter 2024 writing event! ⟡ AU type: Hold Me Tight - Dilf/Milf AU ⟡ Themes: Age Gap, Situationship ⟡ Inclusions: Edging, Fingering, Angst/Hurt, Restraints

⟶ Music companion | Blue Rain, Make You Mine ⟶ Main Masterlist | Mailbox | Taglist | Ko-fi | Commission  ⟶ Read on AO3

On some days, you would feel like you are finally getting your shit together. 

But today is not one of those days. 

“Mommy! Hana is trying to bite me!” You hear your oldest whine as she hugs the pancake batter box to her chest. Shaking your head, you can only guess that her sister has been trying to take that box away from her hands. 

“No, I did not!” Hana, your youngest daughter argues back, “Mommy, Suzy won’t let me use the scanning thingy.” 

Suzy narrows her eyes and scoffs. She has been doing this expression a lot lately. It took you weeks after you first saw her making such an expression to figure out that she had somehow gotten it from you. Hana’s new biting habit, however, is something that you have yet to figure out how and when it started. 

“You’re such a baby,” Suzy says, rolling her eyes, which only riles up her sister more.  

“I am not!” 

“Yes, you are. That’s why you can’t do this. Babies don’t do what grown-ups do.” 

Sullen, Hana props her hands on her hips and lifts her chin, as if it would make her look bigger against her sister while whining, “But you’re not a grown-up too!” 

Watching them go at each other, you cannot decide whether you want to laugh or cry. 

Hana’s attitude reminds you of someone. You, perhaps, no doubt as the only role model she currently has to copy some of that sassy attitude from. You probably should feel embarrassed—deep down, you do, you are somewhere in public, after all—as the girls continue fighting, their voices loud enough to draw some attention, with the addition of being super dramatic about it. 

Only for them to have a turn at helping you with the self-checkout counter. 

You know the reason why you cannot find it in you to be mad at them. Not when the girls are showing you that they are the perfect carbon copy of you—not that you are the kind to have a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, at least not at this age—and when they are always full of surprises. And you cannot deny that they are so stinking cute. 

Suzy, the bigger one out of the two, is mostly quiet and sweet. As a six-year-old girl, only weeks away towards her seventh, she often makes people think that she is a bit older than she truly is with how calm she acts around others. Until recently, she has always been so shy. But that is only until the moment her little sister starts acting out and then she would react so strongly to her tantrum—just like what she is doing now. 

Hana, on the other hand, is more brave and confident, and a bit too smart for her own good. Always so curious and mischievous, and always loves to copy whatever her big sister is up to. And she is always so headstrong that nothing can stop her whenever she wants something. 

She just turned four, and you were sure that she could barely speak full sentences just a year ago. That period of time feels so long ago as you watch her arguing with her sister, with perfect sound of mind, clear words and reasonings, a sign that she is growing up a bit too soon. 

“Girls, please stop screaming at each other,” you try to calmly separate them. 

You have no idea what is happening. Normally, your girls would know perfectly well how to behave. They take great pride in being your ‘little helpers’ and it isn’t rare for you to bring them with you when you are out buying groceries. 

For some reason, they have been like this all day. Constantly arguing and making a fuss over everything. Even to the smallest things. 

“You can take turns using the scanner. Let Suzy finish scanning the pancake batter, then you can do yours, Hana. Here—” 

Reaching into the shopping cart, you grab the box of cookies that you don’t remember placing inside the cart and try to hand it over to Hana. Only for it to slip out of your hand when both Suzy and Hana try to reach for it. Both insisting on taking it and having their turn. 

“Motherfucker,” you mutter under your breath as the box slides on the floor, and both girls immediately launch into another series of arguments, blaming each other for dropping the box and getting you angry. 

Tears are pooling in the corner of your eyes, and the quick switch of your mood isn’t unnoticeable for your girls as they both grow still. As if they are expecting you to snap. You bite your lips, trying your best not to. 

Just as you take a deep breath to compose yourself, a shadow comes to your side, picking up the fallen box and handing it to you.

“Excuse me,” a deep voice speaks, snapping you out of it, only to pull you into a dreamy trance the moment you get a look at his face and see his smile. The dimple on his cheek distracts you from your distraught that your mind becomes numb for a moment. 

“Hi there, do you need any help?” 

“Uhm, not really. It’s fine,” you answer, barely getting a word out when it feels like your brain has short-circuited. You shake your head, noticing his extended hand, offering you the box that you dropped earlier. “Oh, thank you,” you say to him, smiling apologetically as you take the box from his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure why my girls are acting like this. They’re not usually this dramatic.” 

“That’s okay. Kids will be kids, right?” His eyes flicker towards your girls. Suzy, still in shock, is standing right by the cart while clutching the box of pancake batter to her chest, while Hana is clinging to your leg, almost hiding. “I don’t think you remember me, but—” The kind stranger offers the same hand to you to shake as he introduces himself, “I’m Namjoon. I just moved in a couple of doors away.” 

Once the information sets in, everything clicks. “Oh, yes. That’s right. I do remember.” 

All of a sudden, your memory takes you to last weekend, when you joined a cookout event held by one of your neighbours. The gathering was initially meant to celebrate their 25th anniversary, and you recall how they extended the celebration to welcome the new neighbour arriving in your block. You were so tired that night and were so focused on watching your kids that everything seemed to flash by, but you do recall gossiping with one of your neighbours, Ella—the only other single mom of the group—about how hot and stunning the newcomer looked. 

Blinking away the memory, you offer him another smile. “I’m sorry, I think the stress got to me. But I do remember you, although I don’t think we had enough time to chat.” 

“It’s fine. I won’t blame you, given the circumstances,” he says, and that cute dimple appears again. He turns to your kids next, bending a bit lower to match their height. “Hi, there. Are you girls trying to help your mom with the checkout?” 

Suzy presses her lips together, too shy to speak, but Hana is always happy to offer an answer. “Suzy won’t let me help.” You look down to see her pouting her lips, yet her eyes are still wide, looking curious and intrigued by this friendly stranger. Once again, something that you might share with your girl. 

“Well, I haven’t checked out my things and I might need a little help. So why don’t we let your sister help your mom, and you help me with mine?” he offers Hana with a smile as he points at his shopping basket, which is barely half full. Any adult would notice that he wouldn’t be needing much help with them, but Hana immediately perks up at his generous offer. 

“Is that really okay with you?” you ask, worrying about troubling him when you barely know him at all and letting your daughter out of your sight. 

As if he knows what you are thinking, he points over his shoulder at the next counter, which is only recently vacant. “I’ll take the next counter, so you can see and hear us all the time.” 

A sigh of relief escapes you. For some reason, looking at him alone is enough to reassure you and make you trust him. Maybe it’s the dimple. “Right. Okay,” you say to him, nodding. “Go ahead, honey. Help the nice mister with his groceries. But promise me that you’ll be good.” 

“‘Kay!” Hana easily agrees, getting overly excited that she has been given something else to do. “I promise, Mommy.” 

Find the beauty in the chaos. 

You remember reading that sentence somewhere. Perhaps from one of your favourite romance novels or one of those self-help books that your mother bought you during your darkest time. 

Each time you are having a hard time, be it from work, from dealing with household chores, or from caring for your daughters, you will always remember those words to keep your composure. Just like how you kept repeating those same words moments ago while you were stressing over your kids, when you tried to remain calm and sane. 

You didn’t expect the beauty to come and find you in your chaos instead. 

Having someone helping you just when you are starting to lose your calm feels like a blessing from the universe. 

Once peace has been regained, everything seems to return back to normal. Almost as if your daughters’ tantrum and fight never happened. 

While you work together with Suzy, who is enjoying her role as your little assistant, her smile widening each time the items go through, you can hear the sound of soft giggling from nearby as Hana does the same with her new friend. 

And Namjoon, the kind stranger and your saviour of the day, is making it fun by playing a little game with your little girl using the scanner and his groceries, drawing smiles and laughter from Hana, her little drama earlier forgotten. Soon enough, they are done, yet Hana remains by Namjoon’s side, almost clinging to his strong arm as she chatters away while he listens closely, hanging to every word she says. 

It appears that your little girl has completely become infatuated with the man. You cannot blame her though, since the man is quite easy in the eye. You have even noticed some of the women passing by looking over, and it surprises you how quickly it is making you feel territorial about him. 

“Thank you so much for your help. I truly appreciate it.” 

And you mean every word, seeing that not only has he helped solve your little problem with your demanding daughters, he also stays long enough to walk you to your car. If that isn’t enough to make you feel as if you have been transferred into another dimension, he has somehow gotten your daughter lifted in one arm, while he carries his grocery bag in the other. 

“It’s nothing, really. I enjoyed talking to your sweet girl,” he says, once again showing his dimple, and you can swear that you are swooning just by the look of it. Perhaps it’s his voice that does it to you; the deep timbre that makes you feel warm inside. It might also be the way he glances at Hana, not even showing any sign that he is getting annoyed for having his evening thwarted by having to deal with little girls and their very disorganised mother. 

“I mean it. You could’ve just walked past and didn’t offer anything, but you still did. You’re even walking us out to the car.” You sigh, recalling the bitter memory of the drama earlier. Glancing at him, you realise that Hana has become extremely silent. “Please tell me Hana isn’t falling asleep on your shoulder.” 

Namjoon lets out a soft chuckle as he takes a peek at Hana’s face, her cheeks smushed against his broad shoulder as if she has found the perfect place to rest her head on. “I think she’s about to.” 

Biting your lips, you hold back the sound that almost comes involuntarily out of you, because you can almost hear your ovaries exploding. 

Namjoon helps put Hana into her kiddie seat in the backseat of the car while you strap Suzy in right beside her. “You seem like you’ve done this before,” you let it slip, and you quickly move your hand to cover your mouth. “I’m so sorry. You’ve been so nice and here I am, sounding too presumptuous.” 

“It’s okay. Most of my friends have kids, and I’ve helped them once or twice whenever I’m free. I also have a niece from my sister, which gave me a chance to practice.” 

You take a peek at his grocery bag and remember what you saw in it—a box of beer, a couple of boxes of microwave dinners, and some snacks—and feel the urge to cook him dinner. Just to pay him a favour. 

Yes, that’s what it is. Not that you are eager to have him over for dinner or invite him into your home for anything other than. 

The offer is there, hanging at the tip of your tongue. But then you bite your lips, your insecurities and doubts rearing their ugly head, making you feel so small that you take a step back and simply say, “Thank you again. I’m so sorry for all the trouble.” 

Namjoon shrugs it off. “It was a pleasure to help.” 

Nodding, you look around, trying to find a distraction. You quickly notice that most of the cars parked near yours have gone away. “Are you—where did you park your car?”

The dimple on his cheek appears again when he shows you a bashful smile. “I don’t drive a car, actually,” he says, grinning and rubbing the back of his head. “I rode a bike here.” 

“A—bike?” You resist the urge to look around, just to be sure. Riding a bike at this time at night? You have no idea whether to feel amazed or baffled. Perhaps both. 

Seeing your reaction makes him laugh, and you somehow decide that you like the sound of it. “Yeah, I always ride a bike to the gym, and I was just heading home from there when I decided to make a quick stop to grab some sustenance for the evening.” 

Hiking the grocery bag in his arm higher, Namjoon takes a step back. That is when you notice the bag hanging from his shoulder. The one that wasn’t weighed down by Hana’s little head. 

Okay, you have officially decided to be amazed. Is this guy for real? 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around?” He asks, snapping you back to the present before your mind starts picturing him carrying something else on those shoulders. 

No, none of it involves you. 

Maybe. 

You shake your head and muster a smile. “Oh, you betcha. You’ll definitely see us more often. Especially now that Hana has decided to like you.” 

You linger at the driver’s side of your car, hands on the door, yet your body refuses to slide in. You have no idea what seems to be drawing you towards him. Whatever it is, it makes you not want to leave. 

Namjoon tilts his head, as if noticing your hesitation to leave first. “Go on, I’ll watch you until you’re out there safely.” 

You open your mouth, almost ready to tell him to get back on his way before realising that the parking lot is quiet. Too quiet. And you have to admit that ever since you were left with only your two girls, you have been feeling a bit more vulnerable. Choosing to accept his offer of staying until you are safe to go—and feeling warm in the chest for having someone care enough to do so—you nod your head and slip into your car. 

Once you are strapped in, you look out the window to wave him goodbye. 

“Drive safe,” he says, and then the dimple reappears when he smiles, almost causing you to stutter. 

“Yes, um. You too.” 

Hana’s eyes flutter open just as Namjoon takes a peek into the backseat window to say goodbye to the girls. 

“Bye, Mista Joonie!” she cheerfully shouts, as if she wasn’t falling asleep in his arm just moments ago.

“Goodbye, Mister,” Suzy chimes in with a shy smile, waving her hand at Namjoon which he returns with a small wave.

“I’ll see you girls around!” 

Giving him one last wave and a smile, you begin to drive away. You can still see him through the rearview mirror, standing by and watching you go, until you are almost out of the lot and you see his figure running in the distance to get back to his bike. It’s brief, but there is something about this chance encounter that makes you feel bitter about leaving. 

Even if, deep down, you know that you will see him again soon. 

Perhaps I should’ve offered and invited him for dinner, after all. 

There is truly no beauty in this chaos. 

Even if there is, it would be impossible for you to see it. Not in moments like this.

It seems like the entire universe is out to get you this week, as nothing seems to be aligning the way it should have. The whole office has been in complete havoc all morning. Typical for Blackwell Press, the publishing company you are working with, to have the final week of the month filled with all the hustle. With everyone getting caught in deadlines, meetings and conference calls held back to back, and your own work piling up, it almost seems impossible for things to get even worse. 

But, of course, it eventually did. 

Offices don’t randomly get caught on fire during the daytime, when there are people—many of them—inside. Elevators don’t randomly get stuck merely seconds after the fire alarm starts blaring across the building.

Okay, this elevator had gotten stuck before, during that one time some staff were working late at night and the machine suddenly failed to work. Everyone has been joking about it happening again during a busy day, and it feels like karma that it has to happen again now. 

But must it happen when you are inside it?

The steady hum of the elevator suddenly turned into a deafening silence just moments ago, and the only thing you can do now is to stand frozen in the flickering light, wondering what is going on. Trapped between floors, the confined space appears in your mind as if closing in on you, the walls shrinking with every breath. The only reprieve you are given is the fact that you are not in it on your own. 

Your heart is pounding in your chest, louder than the faint crackle of the intercom as Daniel, the Marketing guy, tries to contact the security staff downstairs through the intercom. His voice remains calm despite the constant crackling sound each time they try to respond, while the other Marketing staff present with you, Jae, has long discarded his suit in his effort to calm himself. 

You take shallow breaths to keep yourself from panicking, all while trying to listen to the soft hum of their voices as they talk about what to do, just to keep your mind from wandering towards dark places. Right beside you, Lily, the only member of the Editor team aside yourself, is slowly losing her calm. 

At the sudden halt of the elevator, she had reached out to grab the sleeve of your blouse as if searching for support. As seconds tick by, her grip on your sleeve tightens as she tries to control her breath, her eyes locked on the digital screen that is no longer displaying a floor number. And you let her cling to you, even when you feel like you need some added strength for yourself. 

It was by mere coincidence that the four of you are stuck here together. 

You were the last ones to leave the conference room after the latest meeting, having been the ones responsible for providing the items for the meeting. As fate has it, merely seconds after the doors were closed and the elevator had only started moving, the fire alarm started blaring through the building, and everything came to a halt. 

“They’re saying that help is on its way,” says Daniel, relaying the message that he just received from the intercom, his voice becomes the calm in this dire situation. 

You find yourself feeling grateful that at least one of you manages to hear the voice coming through the intercom, while you haven’t been able to focus on anything at all. Nothing but the sound of your breathing, the rapid sound of your heartbeat, and at the way the air seems to be growing stale with four people sharing the same oxygen in this tight space. 

“What did they say? Is it connected to the fire alarm?” you try to ask, hoping that getting some positive news might help clear your thoughts. Even if just a little. 

“No, they didn’t say anything,” Daniel says with a strained voice, possibly due to reality finally sinking in once the intercom stops making any sound to respond. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jae leans back against the metal railing and sighs. “Let’s just hope that we’re not anywhere close to the fire, and it’s just some issues with the electricity,” he adds while trying his best to remain calm. But it doesn’t help make you feel any calmer when his eyes begin wandering at every visible gap and crevice as he speaks, as if making sure that he isn’t seeing any smoke filtering into the elevator. 

It makes you feel uneasy to see this. Every bit of calmness that you still have begins chipping away. 

Soon, silence falls as everyone tries their best to remain still and composed while waiting for help to come. The minutes drag on like hours, allowing your thoughts to wander into a darker place and letting your doubt and fear sink in. 

Is the building really burning? 

Why are we stuck here? How long are we supposed to wait?

What happens if help doesn’t come? 

What about my girls? What will happen to them if I—

You blink away the tears forming in your eyes at the thought of not returning home to your girls. The thought of leaving them behind hurts you beyond words that you are beginning to lose hope. 

Gripping the metal railing behind you tightly, you close your eyes and begin to pray. And you continue to pray as time slips away in the dim, stalled box. Please, you beg whoever is listening. Please, someone—

A loud clatter breaks the silence, causing everyone to jerk their heads up, all eyes looking around to find its source. Right as Jae is about to speak, the clattering stops and comes a muffled voice from somewhere above.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" The voice is clear now, firm but calming, and somewhat familiar. But your mind is a jumbled mess of worry and bewilderment that you cannot figure out the reason why you would think that way. 

"Yes!" Jae calls back after looking around, seeing how everyone is stunned to silence, “Yes, we can hear you!”

"Stay calm," the voice calmly instructs from above. “We’re from the firefighters. We're going to get you out."

You feel your knees weakening with relief. Even the others collectively exhale deep sighs of relief and Lily begins to loosen her hold on the sleeve of your blouse. “Okay,” she whispers, steadying herself. “We’re going to be okay.” 

Daniel nods when he sees that everyone is calmer. “Okay, we’re ready!” he shouts to the person on the other side as he braces against the cool metal wall. 

Soon, you hear a low, scraping sound against the elevator door, followed by the clank of tools echoing through the small chamber. The elevator shirts slightly upon impact, causing everyone to gasp and instinctively start stepping away from the door. Before panic starts to set back in, the firefighter’s voice cuts through again, calming everyone down.  

"We're going to manually open the doors. You might feel the elevator shift a little—don't worry. You're safe."

Safe. 

The word echoes through your mind, acting like a spell as it brings some reassurance. Something for you to cling to. The clanking sounds of the tool returns just as you start hearing the firefighter coordinating with his team outside. 

More creaks and groans follow next, lasting for a short while, and then—light appears. The doors start inching open, revealing the gap between the elevator floor and the hallway above. Two strong hands appear from the gap, pulling the doors wider until there is enough space for you to see your rescuers in their fire gear, all focused and ready to pull everyone out.

One firefighter peeks through the opened doors with a smile. “Alright, who’s up first?” 

Both men who are with you step aside, allowing either you or Lily to get out first. So you push Lily forward, letting her get helped first before you take your turn. 

"Alright, just one step up," the firefighter says, reaching down with an outstretched hand. "Take my hand, we’ve got you."

You hesitate only for a moment before grasping his hand, his hold feels solid and reassuring. You can feel the strength in his grip as he hoists you up and out of the elevator, the cool rush of fresh air hitting you like a wave of relief. Your legs tremble as they touch solid ground that you nearly fall, yet the kind firefighter holds you up by your arms, keeping you steady as he sets you aside so that the other members of his team can start helping the men out.

"You're okay now," the firefighter says, his voice softer now. "Just breathe. You’re safe."

Nodding, you close your eyes, allowing yourself to feel the weight of your fear melting away. Still unable to speak, you glance back at the elevator, seeing it still wedged between floors, and feel a shiver run through you as you remember that you had just been inside it moments ago. But as you look around, watching the firefighters handling the situation, helping the other three who had just gotten pulled out to get help, the terror that was gripping at you begins to loosen its hold. 

With a relieved sigh, you straighten up and turn back to your saviour, the firefighter who had just pulled you out and is still holding you up. The moment you see his face, you finally understand why his voice felt so familiar, and why you could easily find calmness when you first heard him speak. 

“Namjoon,” you whisper his name, drawing a smile to his face, showing you the small dimple which had been in your mind ever since the night you last met. 

“I told you we’d meet again soon.”  

“Is this really necessary?” 

You are sitting at the corner of the building’s main lobby, together with the other three who had gotten stuck with you in the elevator. Other staff have also been evacuated here while the firefighters are working to find the source of the problem. 

Namely, the reason why the fire alarm went off when there was no sign of the building burning anywhere. 

Right by your side, Jae is being checked by the medical team when it is quite obvious that all the man wants to do is to get back to his office. 

“You were under duress just moments ago, Sir. We need to check your vitals to make sure that there are no other issues with your body that the incident may have caused before letting you go.” 

“Let the boy do his job so we can all go back to the office,” Daniel chimes in just as he is done being checked out and the medic moves to Lily next. The poor girl has yet to regain some colour on her pale face, which makes you worried. “Wait, we’re allowed to go back to our office, right?” 

The medical staff nods and talks about waiting until everyone gets clearance from the investigation team before going back up. After getting your turn for the quick check-up, you wander off a bit between the staff lingering around, feeling too restless to sit still. 

Before you realise what you are doing, you begin searching for a familiar figure between the throng of people, and you don’t stop until you see a group of firefighters returning to the lobby after checking the floors above. One of them, who appears to be the team leader, walks towards the head of security and the Head Editor waiting close by. 

“It came from smoke forming in the break room. Someone must’ve burned something in the microwave or forgot to pull it out and the smoke triggered the alarm,” you hear the team leader speak, explaining the cause of the fire alarm. “The faulty alarm system made the electrical circuit go haywire, which made it seem like it was a bigger fire than it was, and it may have caused the elevator cables to short-circuit.” The team leader hands the draft of their investigation report to the head of security. “The elevator needs to get checked too, since the cables are old. You need to get it done soon.” 

The Head Editor—your boss—takes a peek at the report and shakes his head. “I’m gonna need to contact building management—” 

His voice begins to fade away when a movement catches your eyes, and you see the person that you have been searching for separating himself from the group to approach you.

Namjoon, who turns out to be your saviour, walks up to you with a smile on his face. “Are you okay?” he asks, the familiar deep timber of his voice brings some warmth to your chest, telling you that this isn’t a figment of your imagination.

“Yeah,” you answer with a small voice, still too dumbfounded to see him standing before you like this. “Uhm, yes, I’m fine. Thank you so much for saving my life.” The moment you say this, a soft giggle slips right out of you. “This makes it the second time this week you’ve come to my rescue.” 

Namjoon’s smile widens. “I’m just glad to help.” 

He takes a look around. “So, a publishing agency, hmm? What is it exactly that you do here, if I may ask?” His curious gaze lands on you and it feels like he is trying to look into your soul. “I hope it’s okay if I’m curious, since you now know what I do for a living.” 

You let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t mind at all,” you admit to him before answering, “I’m an editor. I edit manuscripts for upcoming books before they are sent out to print and get officially published. You can say that I’m being paid to read and comment, and gain the extra privilege of reading the books first before everyone else does.” 

“That sounds interesting,” he says, raising his brows. “I don’t suppose you’ll be getting back to work after this?” 

“I’m not entirely sure. But I don’t think I will.” You glance around at your co-workers. Neither seems to have any desire of going back to work after this whole incident. Sharing the same feeling with the others around you, you feel a strong desire of seeing your girls and spending time with them instead. “I might get back to my office only to pack up my stuff and leave early, pick up Hana from daycare and have a little cool down at the park before we go and pick up her sister. I know she’ll love it.” 

At the mention of your girls, Namjoon’s smile softens. “That sounds fun.” 

For a moment, it looks as if he wants to say something, only to stop himself when someone from his team calls his name. Namjoon looks over his shoulder and nods. “Unfortunately, one of us has to go back to work,” he says with an apologetic smile, “I’ll see you around. Hopefully, not in another case of emergency?” 

You cannot help but smile. “I promise to try and keep things less dramatic next time.” 

With a grin on his face, Namjoon turns away and joins the other men from his team as they prepare to leave. You watch him for a moment longer, blending in with the rest of them until someone comes to your side. 

“So—” Your friend, Emma, says as she slips her arm around yours. “Who’s the hunk?” 

You roll your eyes and smile. “He’s a new neighbour. He helped me the last time we met,” you answer, still stunned with everything that has been going on. You never expected that you would be seeing Namjoon again, and for him to once again save the day for you, “Which makes this the second time he’s helped me.”

“Oooh, sounds like a story premise in the making. It’ll make a good romance prompt, don’t you think?” she teases, “A firefighter who keeps crossing paths with a single mother, saving her during a series of misfortunes and ending up falling in love after the single mom starts paying his goodwill with homecooked meals and other”—she starts wiggling her eyebrows—”raunchy favours.” 

You laugh at her comment, even if it doesn’t stop you feeling your cheeks flushing warmly. “Well, I’m not the writer. You can probably pitch that idea to the indie author you’ve been working with.” 

“Who? Sana? Hmmm, you’re right. This is kind of her thing. Let me take notes on that,” Emma says as she pulls out her phone and starts tapping on the screen, no doubt writing the idea down on her notes app. “I might advice her to make it extra spicy too.” 

As you continue to chat with your friend about books and promising writers, you let her guide you back towards the Editor team who are gathering at one corner of the room with your boss, talking about the incidents and what they are going to do next. 

“Are you heading back up?” Emma asks you before you join the others, and you recall your plan about spending the rest of the afternoon with your youngest. 

“I’m thinking of grabbing my stuff and head back home if Adam lets us go for the day,” you say to her, referring to your boss, the Head Editor who isn’t showing any sign of wanting to back to work. Much like everyone else. “I’ll probably end up losing sleep again if I want to finish editing tonight.” 

You let out a sigh, thinking about the lack of sleep you have been having this week. With new books coming up to prints this month, and new writers struggling to keep up with the schedule that you have set up for them, you have been staying up a lot of nights to catch up with editing. 

“But it’s still a lot better to work from home than being stuck here and freaking out about the elevator and false fire alarms all day,” you add, almost like reassuring yourself that it would be okay to sacrifice more sleep for the sake of your sanity.  

“Good point. I bet we can sweet talk Adam to let us go early today. I don’t see the point in working when everyone is stressed out anyway,” Emma jokes as she points her chin at Adam, whose eyebrows are furrowed deeply as he continues chatting with his assistants. “At least, thanks to this, I think we deserve to let off some steam. What do you say we go out this Saturday? Grab some drinks, dance a bit, maybe you can practice your flirting skills so you can make use of them the next time you meet up with that cutie again.”  

You make a face as you imagine yourself trying to make a move on Namjoon, which only makes her laugh. “I’m serious. He seems nice, aside from being hot, and it’ll be a missed opportunity not to tap that.” 

You roll your eyes, but a part of you is starting to consider it. As much as you love being a mother and to dedicate your entire life to your career, you cannot deny that you do want to start dating again. 

And the offer to have a night out where you can let off some steam and let loose does sound enticing. Emma and some of your other friends have been asking you to join them to hangout on drink nights lately. But with a lot of deadlines and tight schedules weighing down on you, and no one to watch your girls while you are out, you have been declining their invitation. But after dealing with such a hard week, you feel like you deserve a night to yourself. 

“I do need a stiff drink.” Sighing, you remember that your daughters are going to be spending the weekends with your parents. It wouldn’t hurt to use that free time to have some fun for a change instead of staying in. “All right. Count me in.” 

Emma cheers. “Great! I’ll call the other girls to see if they’ll come too it so we can all catch up. Chloe called the other day and shared about wanting to see us and give us the souvenirs she got from her trip to Singapore last week, so she’ll probably be excited too,” she says, mentioning another fellow Editor who used to work in the same company as the two of you before moving up to a bigger publishing agency. 

Just then, you see a small group of firefighters walking across the lobby, heading towards the front door to leave. Among them is Namjoon, who seems to feel your gaze on him. As you continue watching him walk alongside his team, he suddenly turns. His eyes quickly find you among the crowd lingering in the lobby, his smile growing wider as he raises his hand to wave goodbye. 

Emma makes a humming sound when she sees this exchange happening and whispers, “Promise me you’ll tell me more about that hot firefighter of yours.” 

Keeping your eyes on Namjoon, you merely smile and wave your hand back at him. “Mhmm. We’ll see.” 

It’s a typical Saturday night at Cipher, the rustic-style bar that Namjoon has frequented ever since he moved into the city. 

The bar had a different name just a couple of years ago, when Namjoon first came by during one of his previous visits to this city, and with different types of patrons as well. The only thing that remains the same since is the man who is working behind the bar, mixing drinks while chatting with whoever decides to hang around the bartender. 

“How is living in the city going for you so far?” Jin, the bartender and owner of the bar, asks Namjoon while he is busy wiping clean glasses between drink orders. 

Twisting the glass in his hand, Namjoon shrugs before taking a sip of his whiskey. “Not too bad. I can’t say that I’ve gotten to fit right in with the neighbours. But things are doing good at work, so that’s good enough for now.” 

“Seeing anyone already?” Jin teases, making Namjoon laugh. 

“Are you seriously asking me that?” He shakes his head. “It might be too soon for me to get back out there into the dating scene.” 

“You? Not sure about getting out to meet up with women?” Jin laughs. “Look, I’m not talking about getting into a relationship or finding someone else to propose. I’m talking about having fun. Go pick someone you find attractive tonight and take her home with you. You deserve a good time too, you know.” 

Namjoon’s throat feels tight just by hearing that word—propose—only because it brings back a painful memory; of the days filled with fights and shouting matches and distrust, and the desperation he felt to hold on to the hope that things would have gotten better if he chose to settle down. 

Shaking the sudden wave of painful memory doesn’t really help when he thinks about opening himself to finding instant pleasure to replace what was lost to him.  

Namjoon may not be a stranger to having a one-night stand. But it has been a while since the last time he had one. Those days are way behind him. Long before he decided to settle down, only to have everything fall apart and he was forced to start over in a new place just to survive. 

He knows all too well that sharing his bed with someone for one night only does little to fill the void. He knows from what he experienced during his wild days in the past. Physically, he might not have been alone for those short hours, but once it ended, it only made him feel even more lonely than before. At some point, the loneliness started to feel painful. It was what had first led him to start longing for something more. 

He once thought that he had found more. Only that it had been with the wrong person, at the wrong time, and he found himself back to square one when everything crumbled. 

He took it all thinking that it might have been karma. Bad fate came to bite him on the ass after all the years he had his fun chasing women, breaking hearts here and there, until he got his own heart broken to pieces just months ago. 

It was the reality check he needed. One that he has yet to completely recover from. The pain and the memories of the past would sometimes come creeping in, staying with him as if they had been woven into the cracks that were left inside him to remain even after he walked away. It kept chasing him during the nights he spent alone—and he had tried to go back to the game once or twice, only to fail to gain anything out of it—which was why he decided to move away. 

Start anew. Meet new people. And then one day, maybe—

He knows that time will eventually help him heal, just like how time has healed many of the scars he had gained through the years of working with danger, chasing fires and pulling people out of crumbling buildings and crashed cars and stuck elevators—a flutter of a smile comes to his face as he recalls the most recent incident—while risking his own body, his life, doing so. 

“I can’t believe I’m getting an advice about hooking up from someone like you,” Namjoon chuckles, as he brushes those thoughts away, choosing to tease Jin instead. “Someone who claims to be looking into settling down.” 

Jin scoffs. “I’m saying this for your own good.” Propping his elbows on top of the bar counter, Jin leans forward. “You moved here to start over. Not to stop living altogether.” 

Namjoon gives him a bitter smile. “Right now, I’m only going to spend the night nursing my drink, enjoying my downtime while I’m off duty.” 

Shaking his head, Jin leans back and grabs the empty glasses left behind from the patrons who had just stepped away from the seats next to Namjoon. “Have you thought about my offer?” Jin asks, “About working here on the nights you’re not on night shift? At least, that way, you might open up your eyes and see all the opportunities you can get by standing right here at the bar, talking to people.” 

“And live a double life like you do?” Namjoon teases him, which earns him a wink from Jin, before the bartender saunters away as another customer waves him down to order a drink. 

Once again left with his own thoughts, Namjoon allows himself to sink back into old memories; all the good and the bad; the long-lost hope that he once had and is now trying to rebuild. 

“Wanna have another?” Jin asks when he returns, noticing that Namjoon has almost emptied his glass yet again. “Got enough time to think about what I was saying?” 

“Maybe,” Namjoon says as he tosses his drink down. He slides the empty glass back to Jin. “Get me a double of that.” 

As Jin steps back to grab his drinks, Namjoon notices the group of patrons crowding nearby spreading away, giving him a clear sight of the bar’s entrance door just as a group of women enters, laughing and chatting with each other without realising the attention they are gaining. All of a sudden, Namjoon feels as if the air around him shifts, right the moment his eyes capture the sight of a familiar smile among the ladies who seem to have come for a good time. 

“Can I ask you something?” Namjoon asks Jin when the bartender returns with his drink. 

“Sure. Anything.” 

“Do you believe in fate?” 

Jin laughs. “Me? I can’t really say I don’t believe it, but it’s also not something I’d talk about while tending the bar. Why?” 

Namjoon turns back to look at the group of newcomers, his smile growing wider when his eyes meet yours as you look up, as if you can feel his presence as he sits across the room, watching you with a new feeling of hope brewing inside his chest. Life can be cruel sometimes, he silently admits. Yet it seems that life is slowly turning to his favour when you unexpectedly appear right before his eyes, right when he is about to call it a night and return to his lonely home. 

“Well, I think I am starting to believe it.” 

“I feel like we should make a toast,” Emma starts once you manage to find an open table. She holds up her glass of Cosmo before anyone can start enjoying their drinks. 

“What are we toasting for?” Ina asks, just as Emma shouts, 

“To friendship.” 

Chloe snorts into her drink and shakes her head. “What are we, in high school?” 

“Hey, I mean, it works,” Emma whines, “Seeing that we still hang out together even after you and Ina moved to different companies.” 

Thinking to yourself, you think about the long week that you just had and offer, “How about a toast to surviving life?” 

“I’ll toast to that,” Ina quickly agrees with a nod, and you can totally understand why. Being the oldest one of the group, she has a ton of things on her plate among her busy days at work; from dealing with her teenage boys back home who are beginning to act up; a husband who is busy preparing for his promotion; and a sick cat back home. 

“I love my boys, but sometimes I wish they were still the same adorable toddlers who would listen to me instead of fighting me all the time,” she would often say, though you could always see the love in her eyes even as she complains about them. “Are you sure you don’t want to trade them with your girls? Just a night will be enough for me. I promise.” 

Chloe raises her glass to join the toast, saying, “I’ll toast to that too. These past few weeks have been pretty crazy for me. I want to stay in bed with my hubby for the next few weeks and not answer any texts or phone calls.” 

Her comment makes you want to take a shot of your drink. You shouldn’t feel envious about her having someone waiting for her back home. You shouldn’t wish that you had someone to share your bed with tonight. You really don’t need to think about having to return home tonight alone, to a quiet home, without your girls waiting back home, without anyone keeping you company.  

The only thing you fear the most about being left alone with your thoughts is to have the ghosts of your past coming back. Memories always come stronger at nights. Taking you back to the days when you were not alone, yet you are made struggling even harder than you are now when you tried to hold on to the crumbling marriage. 

Nobody warned you that falling out of love can be painful. How lonely it made you feel.  It scorned you to the point that you nearly sworn yourself off of love, just to keep your heart save. Whatever was left of it. 

“Then why are you here hanging with us when you have a husband to cuddle with?” Emma teases, her voice snapping you out of it. Then Chloe leans in to hug you from the side. 

“Because I also miss you guys,” she says, drawing everyone’s laughter. 

You share a toast with the girls, clinking the glasses as you cheer, followed by a series of shots, and then a new round of drinks is shared at the table. You continue talking, laughing, catching up about life and sharing gossip and fussing over some problematic authors that both Emma and Chloe had to deal with for the past month. By the time the next round of shots arrives at the table, you notice Emma’s eyes looking over your shoulder and grinning at what she sees.

“Aren’t you going to say hi?” she teases, leaning in to make it less obvious that she has been observing the one person that you have been fighting not to look at. 

You take a careful sip of your Moscow Mule as you think of an excuse. “We already waved at each other when we first came in.” 

Truth be told, you already know that a simple wave was the bare minimum that you could have given him. Seeing Namjoon sitting there at the bar when you first came into this place caught you by surprise that you were left speechless. It was Namjoon who had first smiled at you, and the only thing you could do was wave your hand at him when your legs refused to take you to him.  

“You know that’s not enough.” Emma rolls her eyes. “The guy practically saved your life.” 

Your reaction—or lack thereof—over seeing Namjoon hadn’t gone unnoticed by your friends. But it was Emma who had explained to the others about who Namjoon was, earning you more questions and teasing from the girls which only made it even harder for you to ignore his presence. 

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it if you offer something special tonight for a thank-you gift,” Chloe teases while wiggling her brows. 

You laugh, snorting into your drink. “Sure he will,” you say, as you find it hard to imagine that someone like Namjoon would even be interested in being with someone like you. Not only because you know that he is younger than you, but you also know that there are many women out there—mostly those around his age—that he would find more attractive, compared to a single mom like yourself. 

As always, your insecurities are quick to set in. Before you can drown it with a strong drink, Emma quickly protests, “You’re a MILF, ______. Stop selling yourself short.”

Nodding, Ina gently agrees with her by saying, “You definitely shouldn’t, seeing that he keeps glancing at you.” 

“She means to say that he’s been eye-fucking you since we got here,” Chloe adds, snickering as she glances over her shoulder to catch Namjoon looking over. 

“He so is!” Ina says, leaning across the table. “He’s hot. Go for it.”

Hearing this, you finally take a long sip of your drink, trying to gain some liquid courage. You have only gotten a few glasses of drink, the night has yet grown late, but you have already gotten quite a good buzz going on, and you are using it to grow some courage to look over at him. Sure enough, Namjoon is still there, with a glass of what seems to be whiskey in his hand, and a pair of eyes that are looking straight at you. A smile grows on his face as your gazes meet each other, though it is quickly hidden as he lifts his glass to his lips. 

“See? He’s looking over again.” Emma starts giggling and gently nudges at your shoulder. “Go talk to him and practice that flirting skills of yours.”

“What flirting skills?” you ask while laughing. Deep down, your insecurities are still clawing at you, but having everyone pushing you to do something that you normally wouldn’t do—like flirting with a hot younger guy like Namjoon—is starting to make you want to change your mind. “Okay, but what do I say?” 

“You can start by saying hi,” Ina says. She pushes her appletini in front of you. “Here,” she says. “Finish this, then go talk to him before someone else moves in on that fine piece of ass.”

Chloe nods her head as you pick up the glass of appletini and contemplate what you need to do next. “You can go to the bar and act like you’re there to order drinks from the bartender since we’ll be needing some more drinks.” 

 “Go on,” Emma joins in, obviously enjoying this. 

You exhale a deep breath and bring the glass to your lips. The sweet liquor glides down your throat and you suddenly start wishing that you had gotten something stronger. Lowering the drink, you turn to look for him again. Namjoon isn’t looking at you this time, yet he is still there, talking to the pretty-looking bartender who was the main reason why Emma had chosen to come to this bar—as she seems to be having a sweet crush on the bartender. 

“All right, here I go,” you say, as you finish the drink and muster the will to rise from your seat. Your legs are a bit wobbly when you try to walk across the room, but the muted voices of your friends who are cheering for you from behind give you the boost you need to continue going. 

The floor between your table and the bar has been filled with people dancing while you are drinking, and they come in your way, making you lose sight of Namjoon for a moment. Not being able to see him only makes you feel calmer, until the crowd opens up and you see him once again, still sitting at the bar. Alone. 

Eyes too focused on him, you accidentally bump into someone who walks right into your path. “Oh, I’m sorry,” you immediately apologise while the person simply slides out of your way and returns to his dancing. 

You hear a soft chuckle, a familiar sound that causes your breath to catch. You whip around and your eyes are locked with his. Immediately, something fuzzy builds in your chest, and you almost fall out of step when you notice it. 

Are those butterflies you are feeling inside? You haven’t felt anything remotely like butterflies in—fuck—years. 

As his smile grows wider at the sight of you walking towards him, you try to convince yourself that his presence isn’t affecting you. At all. 

Your lady bits do not quiver for random men. You are certainly not having dirty thoughts about him. You keep telling yourself this as you get closer to him. And yet—

Your heart immediately speeds up at the sound of his voice—calling your name. 

“_______, fancy seeing you here,” he says, looking genuinely pleased that those butterfly wings are beginning to flutter again, causing some funny feelings to rise in your stomach. 

“I could say the same thing. It was a nice surprise to see you,” you respond to him and—fuck, did you really just try flirting with him? “Enjoying your night?” 

“You can say that,” he says with a dimple smile of his, “But I’m finding more reasons to feel good tonight now that you’re here.” 

Damn, he’s good, you wonder as you stifle a smile, and fail. Maybe he should be the one helping you sharpen your flirting skills instead of Emma or the other girls who always start making jokes about it and making you laugh each time you try it on them. 

“A friend of yours?” You turn when the bartender comes, throwing you a smile as he speaks to Namjoon. 

“Jin, this is _______,” Namjoon says, introducing the two of you. “This is Jin, an old friend who first convinced me to move here. He’s the main reason why I hang out at a place like this.” 

You offer your hand to the bartender who takes it with a firm grip. “Hi, it’s nice to see you. I see that you and your friends are having quite a blast.” 

Returning Jin’s smile, you playfully ask him, “Would it be too much if I thank you for encouraging Namjoon to move here?” 

“Nope, not at all,” Jin laughs. “So, what can I get you?” 

You quickly make your order, and while you wait for the bartender to finish preparing the drinks, you take the seat right by Namjoon’s side so you can have a little chat. Either the alcohol is starting to warm you up inside, or Namjoon’s friendly smile is making you more comfortable, every bit of tension you feel is lifted when you begin laughing at his simple jokes. 

Once the drinks are ready, you reluctantly rise to return to your friends to deliver their shots. This time, you have a slight new pep in your footsteps, confidence brewing inside you after realising that you had conquered one of your insecurities tonight by chatting with Namjoon. Your friends welcome you with light cheers, and you celebrate by sharing a shot of whiskey and finishing the rest of your drink. 

It doesn’t take long before your friends decide to end the night. 

Ina is the one to step away first, when her husband calls her about one of their sons who had just gotten caught sneaking through the window after lying about doing his homework in his room. “We don’t know if he snuck out to see a girl or got himself in other kinds of trouble while he was out, but Dan needs me as a backup to get some answers from the little brat,” she says, kissing your cheek when she bids goodbye for the night. 

Chloe is the one who needs to go home next, when her husband keeps calling her about feeling lonely at home. “I can’t tell if it’s sad or cute, but I think I’ve had enough to drink for the night. I already got an Uber picking me up outside.” 

“Are you coming?” Emma asks you, her eyes looking over towards the bar before asking, “Or are you going to stay?” 

You follow her gaze, looking at Namjoon chuckling along with whatever the bartender is saying to him. A part of you is telling you to call it a night, but there is a bigger part of you that feels intrigued, and curious to see what would happen tonight if you choose differently. To be selfish for once. 

“I think I’m going to stay.” 

Your answer brings a smile to Emma’s face. She seems proud and—relieved. You have no idea why she would feel this way over your decision to stay for a man, but she simply nods and says, “All right, then I’ll ride with you, Chloe. I’ll see you on Monday, girl,” she says to you as she leans in for a hug and whispers, “Go get him.” 

You watch your friends go before finishing the rest of your drink and leaving your seat. Before you can change your mind, your legs take you towards the bar, returning to Namjoon’s side as if you are drawn to him like a moth to flame. 

“Are you calling it a night too?” Namjoon asks you when he notices you coming, his gaze flickering to follow your friends as they weave through the crowd to find the exit door, as if expecting to see you following them.  

“I don’t really want to go home yet.” You bite your lips. “I think I’m going to have another drink before leaving. Are you planning on leaving early?” 

The smile that grows on Namjoon’s face makes your heart flutter. He does look good when he smiles. “And waste the chance to drink with you? No way.” You take the empty seat that he offers right next to him, which he gently pulls closer once you are settled in. “Let me order for you. What are you having?”

“Surprise me.” 

Smiling, Namjoon orders you a Moscow Mule, causing you to raise your brows. “You ordered the same drink twice while you were here.” 

“You have quite a good memory,“ you tease him, “Are you sure you don’t work here?” 

Namjoon laughs. His eyes glimmer under the dim lighting when he says, “You’re not the kind of woman that I’d be so easy to forget.”

You can barely hold back from laughing, because you cannot find it in you to agree. 

“You don’t believe me when I say that you’re not easy to forget?” he asks, moving closer to you until you can breathe in the musky cologne he is wearing. 

“Me? I’m nothing special. I’m just”—you breathe out a sigh—”just me.”

He takes your hand, sliding his fingers to your wrist, his thumb finding your pulse where he rubs in circles. “I don’t know you very well—yet—but from what I’ve seen, ‘just you’ seems pretty damn special.”

You laugh again and take a drink, murmuring softly to him, “Thanks.”

He looks down for a moment, as if considering what to say. But he seems more determined when he lifts his gaze and looks back at you. There is something in his eyes which draws out the flutters in your chest. A new look which you have yet to see coming from him during the short time you’ve known him. 

The look which shows a different kind of want.

And you can only guess what he is thinking right now. Biting your lips, you wait until he says the words, because there is nothing that you want more right now but to go with him. You enjoy talking to him, to be in his presence, and you have a feeling that you might enjoy it more if he offers something more. 

It’s just one night, so you can possibly handle it. Right? 

Fuck. All of a sudden, you don’t feel too sure about it. 

But the gentle touch of his fingers on your skin, together with the deep timber of his voice when he hums, is slowly enticing you to open up, to give in to chance. 

Namjoon’s eyes meet yours and the same dimple smile of his returns. You swallow hard, ignoring the sound of your pounding heart as he asks,

“Do you want to get out of here?” 

Biting your lips, you can feel your chest tightening. Your heart beating fast. Hard. Your body moves to lean closer even without you meaning it to. 

“Yes,” you whisper, and his face lights up, as if he was almost sure that you were going to refuse. 

“Your place, or mine?”

A simple question, made with a light tone of voice that sounds almost joking, except that Namjoon’s heart is beating rapidly inside his chest as he says it. He already risked everything when he first asked to take you away from here. Now, it feels as if he is risking a bit more as he waits for your answer. 

You bite your lips, and your hesitance only makes him feel worse. “Is there any difference?” 

Namjoon wants to say, no, it doesn’t. The only thing that matters is for him to be spending this night with you. You push your hair back, and when your eyes meet his, he can almost feel your heart beating right up against his. 

“Are your kids home tonight?” Namjoon tries when you’re not too sure. Somehow, he understands that you might be wary about coming home to his place when you barely know him. 

“No, they’re at my parents.” 

A smile is lifted on his face. “Then are you going to take me home?” 

You return his smile and lean closer. It amazes him how quickly you switch—from shy and hesitant at one point, to feeling more confident and daring the next. And it turns him on even more when you say, “Only if you promise that you’re going to be a good boy.” 

Namjoon calls an Uber to take you both home while you make a quick stop at the restroom before leaving the place. In the short time that he has to wait for you, Namjoon struggles to keep his composure. It’s almost laughable the way it makes him feel like a newbie. For him to feel so nervous as if he is inexperienced in this. 

In a way, this is something new for him. Enough to make him feel exhilarated about what is to come. 

He turns just in time to see you walking up to him. As if your moment away had given you the chance to recoup and find some resolve, you look as if you are shining, your smile looking bright and your eyes filled with lust and want and it takes everything in him not to pull you into his arms here and now just to kiss you senseless. 

“Take me home, mama,” he jokingly says when he opens the car door for you, making you laugh. 

Instead of answering him, you grab the front of his shirt and pull him in with you until you are seated in the backseat of the car together, bringing the heat that you share into the confines of the car as it takes you back home. 

In the tight space within the car, the heat that has been building up between you becomes more palpable. You can tell that he is feeling it too. And he seems to be giving into it, when he keeps running the tips of his fingers from your hand to your wrist, when his knees keep pressing against yours, and when his eyes keep trailing from your face, down to your cleavage, and then back up to your neck, before lingering on your lips. 

He wets his lips, as if he is picturing himself tasting you with a kiss. “Can I be honest with you?” he whispers, leaning closer. 

“Of course.” 

“I…couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he admits with a soft chuckle. It seems that his confession surprises him just as much as it does to you. 

“Since the fire alert?” 

“No,” he says with a grin, “ever since the night we first met.” 

Was it at the supermarket? You wonder to yourself, trying to figure out what he could have possibly seen in you that night through the chaos with your girls. 

No, it was before, you begin to realise, as you recall the night of the cookout event at your neighbours’ backyard, when Namjoon lingered close by after sharing a quick chat with you, and when you caught him watching you from the side while you were helping your daughters with their dinner plates. 

“I told myself after watching you go that night that I shouldn’t get my hopes up, since you seemed to have a lot going on already and I probably didn’t deserve any second of your time. But then I saw you at the supermarket and I couldn’t resist saying hello.” His eyes find yours. You have no idea what kind of expression you are giving him while you are loss for words, but Namjoon’s smile softens. “And just when I thought it couldn’t have been more than a coincidence, we got the call to your office and there you were. It feels like we just keep crossing paths with each other. As if I am made to make a move.” 

Noticing that you have grown silent, Namjoon tilts his head and asks, “What’s wrong?” 

With a bitter laugh, you can only shake your head. “Nothing, it’s just—” You bite your lips, hating the way your insecurities have always been able to come to the surface the moment you try to push against your boundaries, when you try to take risks like what you are doing tonight. But you simply cannot help it. The feeling is clawing at your chest that you can barely breathe. “You know you could’ve gotten home with someone else. Someone who isn’t—” 

You try to look away, yet Namjoon isn’t having it. With his fingers on your chin, he turns your face gently so you are forced to look at him again. “Is not—what?” 

Your throat feels tight and your mouth feels bitter when you answer, “Older. A single mom. A—” 

Namjoon presses his thumb on your lips to stop you from speaking further. “Remember what I told you earlier, and I really meant it,” he says, his gaze softening and heating up at the same time. “You are special. If you had said no to me tonight, I would’ve gone home alone, and spent the rest of the night finishing the last cans of beer I still have in my fridge or eating any frozen leftovers I could find before passing out on the couch.” 

You blink. His honesty surprises you, yet you would be lying if you told yourself that it doesn’t make you feel flattered to hear him choosing you. 

As if there is a switch inside you that has been flipped, everything fades to the back of your mind. All the voices that keep putting you down are silenced. The only thing left in your mind is the image of this gorgeous man spending his night alone in his quiet home, eating one of those boxed meals you saw peeking through his grocery bag and downing beers until he falls asleep, and you decide that you are not having it. 

Seems like you are not the only one who needs to take some risks tonight just to experience some changes in life. 

“Yep. That’s it. I’m sending you dinner next time.” 

Namjoon laughs. “What—?” 

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you pull him down to you and press your lips on his, putting his words—and your thoughts—to silence with a kiss. 

“I’m sorry for the mess. The perks of having little kids are always having too many things scattered around the house, and—” 

It is still surprising to see how easy and quickly you change depending on the moment. You keep going from Miss In Control to a more subdued figure filled with insecurities. Namjoon knows that he shouldn’t, but he is adamant about changing that tonight, even if it makes him feel a myriad of things inside when you show multiple sides of you at once. 

“It’s all right,” he cuts you off with a half smile, noticing how nervous you are getting about showing him your home. 

As you move aside to start taking off your shoes and coat, Namjoon kicks his own shoes off and takes a quick glance around. Most of the lights are off, yet he can still see through the dim lighting to see what he needs to see. 

Much like his own house, your place has an open space concept, where everything is visible from the foyer. He looks at the living room to his right, where the flat television hangs against the wall, surrounded by wooden shelves filled with books and trinkets and boxes filled with toys. To his left is the open kitchen, the room is slightly more spacious than his, and cleaner, with a hint of the scent coming from the last meal you cooked today still wafting through the air. 

Truth be told, he doesn’t mind at all about how the house looks like at the moment. He even thinks that your home feels comfy, more welcoming and lively than his own, which makes him feel good and warm inside as he steps onto the threshold of your home. 

Still, right now, he has other—more important—things to pay close attention to.  

Namjoon waits until you are done taking your coat off before approaching you. 

He places an arm around your shoulders, hinting at his need to get closer. When you show no sign of pushing him away, he pulls you towards him gently, and you willingly lean into him until you are engulfed completely in his warmth, and he feels your soft body pressing against his hard muscles. He bends down and your lips meet each other, warm and welcoming as they mesh into a kiss. 

For a split second, Namjoon can feel you hesitating. But then your arms come up to wrap around him before returning the kiss. It feels gentle and soft, yet Namjoon can feel every cell in his body lighting up at the touch, and he allows that hope he ignored before to rise as he melts into the kiss

Namjoon is a firm believer that a person can tell quite a lot about the other by the way they kiss, and that the first kiss will define how the night will continue. 

He feels you parting your lips slowly as your fingers curl into fists, balling the back of his shirt. He can taste the fruity taste of your lip-gloss which you put on during your toilet break before the two of you left the bar, and he can also taste a hint of the drink you had as he lightly brushes the tip of his tongue against yours. 

The simple contact earns a soft hum from your throat, and then you tip your head back and open your mouth, asking him for more. He gladly gives it to you as he slides one hand up your waist and cups your cheek, deepening the kiss. Your grip around him tightens when his tongue pushes past your lips, bringing heat all over your body and his as he devours your mouth, and you respond by pressing your hips into his. 

Feeling like he is burning from within, Namjoon starts to pull away. But you are not having it. You move your hand to his face, and then bring him back down until his lips are back on yours. You take charge this time, kissing him as if your very existence depends on it, and Namjoon smiles into the kiss as he follows your lead.  

Tonight is going to be a good night.

As your mind grows hazy from the heated kiss, you start stumbling back until you are pressed against the front door. 

It rattles under your weight, and starts making other noises when Namjoon presses harder against you the deeper the kiss you share. You feel his feet moving, sliding between your legs, only to stop when his toes come in contact with one of Hana’s squeaky toys that had somehow fallen in the foyer. 

You break away from the kiss at the sound of his deep chuckle. The way he seems more amused than he is annoyed pleases you so that your body grows impossibly hotter. How can something so simple as a guy chuckling over a simple kid toy, completely understanding it instead of getting angry and complaining over something so trivial—just like someone you once knew and wish so badly to forget—look so incredibly hot? 

Expecting to hear him say something about it, you lift your face to look at him, only for Namjoon to bend lower again and try to kiss your lips. Bunching his shirt with your fingers, you stop him and start pushing him through the dark hall and into the kitchen, where you know there won’t be any trail of toys getting in the way. 

Namjoon lets you drag him around with a grin on his face. It seems to please him that you are the one taking the initiative, showing him that you want him just as much as he does. 

As you push him deeper into the kitchen, your hands tracing his hard chest and your lips nipping his jawline, you wonder where all of this confidence is coming from. 

It could be coming from the buzz rushing through your mind and body. It could also be this want inside you which has been lying dormant for so long, awakened simply by the heat of his kiss. Either way, you are surprised to find how easy it is to simply give in. To follow what your heart desires as if it is guiding you through the motions. 

While most of the lights have been turned off when you left your house earlier, the light from the microwave is on, casting a soft, golden glow which falls nicely on him, accentuating every line—both on his face and his body—which you desire so badly to touch and kiss and taste. 

You pull him down for that desirable kiss, and he dives straight down, his lips crashing into yours. And then he starts kissing you fast, hard, as if his very existence depends on this kiss. You kiss him back with the same need, taking his lip between your teeth, drawing a soft sound coming out of his throat. His chest rumbles against yours as he gently pushes you backwards. 

Namjoon pins you against the kitchen counter, placing you between the hard counter and his rock-hard chest. He moves his knees between your legs, keeping them apart. You can feel his cock straining against his jeans as he bucks his hips forward, pressing roughly into your stomach. Then he moves his mouth to your neck, kissing, sucking, making you moan, distracting you from the object of his desire that you want so badly to touch.

Without unlatching his lips from your skin, Namjoon sweeps his fingers across your collarbone, finding the strap from your top that is already hanging off your shoulder. He pulls away, his dark gaze following his fingers as he unhooks the other strap off your shoulder until your top falls down to your waist, exposing your lacy dark purple bra which you had intentionally chosen for the night. 

He watches closely as your chest rises and falls with your ragged breath, murmuring softly, “Beautiful. You are so hot, baby.”

Your entire body shudders with the sound of his deep voice, recognising the hunger in it. Heat forms in your belly after knowing that his words are meant for you. He slowly walks his palms up your body, reaching up to cup your breasts with his strong palms. 

A moan slips out of your lips at his touch, when the gentle pressure he is giving on your mounds sends heated sparks through your body. The sound you are making seems to snap something in him, as he moves his mouth back to yours, kissing you softly, teasing, while his thumbs begin to move over your covered nipples in small circles. 

You draw a sharp inhale of breath at the delightful sensation he is making you feel, which is swallowed by his kiss. Your chest rises, pressing your breasts into his palms. The shiver running through your body feels so intense, blocking everything else as you push your tongue back into his mouth at the same time your hands slip under his shirt. 

His skin feels warm. His chest feels firm and broad. You can feel his breath hitching at the touch of your fingers, his body shivering as your hands start inching closer and closer to his cock as you walk them down his torso. 

It draws a deep groan from him, yet he keeps kissing you. He continues to caress your breasts until your nipples grow hard against his palms, and that is when he finally moves his hands down. You only get to pop the button of his jeans open before he catches your wrists, stopping you from going further as he brings them to your back, pinning them together to confine you. 

You push and strain against his grasp, only to fail when his hold is firm. Surprisingly, being restrained in his hold and losing control is not making you feel powerless. Instead, it becomes a complete turn-on to have someone taking control of you that your body heats up with a stronger need for more. 

Shocked at this revelation, you pull back with a gasp. 

“Let me touch you,” you whine as you try to pull your hands out of his, drawing a deep chuckle from him. 

“Not yet, baby,” he murmurs against your lips. “I want to see all of you first.”  

He kisses you again, deep enough to make you arch your back so your hips are pressed into his. You widen your legs and he presses forward, his toned thigh pressing at your pulsing center. The sensation you feel as you begin rubbing your covered pussy over his thigh feels explosive, and it is driving you insane that you cannot touch him at the same time. 

You feel him smiling in the kiss, clearly enjoying this; your desperation and need, and the way you are chasing for pleasure even under his restraint. He moves his mouth to your neck again, nipping at the skin. You try to twist your arm to set yourself free, but Namjoon lifts his head to stop you with a look. 

“These naughty hands need to stay back, baby. Do you hear me?” he asks as he guides your hands to rest against the small of your back, your wrists resting on the hard countertop pressing from behind you. 

Your mouth falls open, but every complaint and defiance that you want to give him fades under his dark gaze. Pulling away, Namjoon grabs the hem of your top and pulls it over your head, dropping it behind him, before he once again guides your hands to return to their position on your back. He leans back just enough for him to run his gaze over your body, giving you an appreciative look while humming softly. 

The heat of his gaze only brings back your insecurities, however, as you grow nervous under his trailing eyes, and you look away, casting a quick glance down your middle. Having two kids over the years has left a few things behind; light scars, stretch marks marring your skin, and uneven curves forming in places which you can only hide under your daily clothes. You realise only now one of the many reasons why you had never considered dating and being intimate again with someone—anyone—and much less have any interest in having hookups or one-night-stand. 

Namjoon notices the change of mood in your silence. He captures your chin and gently draws your gaze back to his face. “Don’t be shy,” he murmurs as he presses a light kiss on your lips, “You’re so fucking beautiful.” 

You blink, once again his words winning as you feel your heart strengthening, gaining back your confidence. “You really think so?” you ask him after taking an audible breath. 

“God, yes,” he says with a slight groan in his voice, drawing a soft giggle out of you. “Don’t you ever question it, baby.” 

Biting down your smile, your eyes flutter down with pleasure and relief. “Good.” 

“Now, where were we?” he asks as he lets go of your chin, his arms dropping to his sides. He reaches down to unbutton your tight pants, yet you beat him to it when you take the hem of his shirt in your hands and help him pull it off, before tossing it away out of reach. 

“Naughty girl. What did I say about those hands?” he asks, and then he is kissing you again to distract you from taking back control. 

He wraps his arm around your waist. For a second, you expect him to lift you up and set you up on the counter. Just like those scenes you have often read in the spicy romance book you have edited over the years. But then he surprises you when he lifts you up to carry you away, taking you towards the dining table instead. 

With your eyes fluttering close in the kiss, the only thing you notice is the sound of the chair scrapping on the floor, before he releases you and falls back. Your mind is hazy when you open your eyes, seeing him sitting back on the dining chair while guiding you to stand between his parted legs. 

Swaying a little, you lean into his touch as he sneaks his fingers down the waistband of your tight pants and begins pulling them down. “Let me see these off, baby.” 

He doesn’t have to say it twice, as you slip your thumbs down the band of your pants and begin wiggling it down your legs. You keep your eyes on him while kicking the pants away, ignoring the shudder running through your body at the heat of his gaze and the chill breeze falling on your exposed skin. 

Sneaking a glance down your body, you follow his gaze to be able to see what he is seeing. You are relieved that you had at least thought of choosing a matching pair of new undergarments to wear tonight, instead of wearing your old mismatched ones like you usually do when you have to rush in the mornings. 

Standing in front of him like this makes you feel self-conscious. But the desire that is so palpable in his eyes helps you ignore all unappealing thoughts you ever have about yourself. 

Smiling coyly to him, you sweep your hands up your stomach, slowly reaching up over your breasts. His hands begin to clench on his side as he watches you kneading your covered breasts. You watch him licking his lips when you press your breasts until they come together, offering him with a gentle voice, “Do you like what you’re seeing? Do you want me to take this off too?” 

“No, not yet. I want to enjoy seeing you like this a bit longer,” Namjoon answers you with a deep voice that sounds almost like a growl. “Come here.” 

At his gentle command, your legs move on their own, taking you closer to him. He grabs your waist, keeping you steady as you climb onto his lap, your legs spreading wide around his waist and your arms come around his broad shoulders. 

Being in this position allows you to feel everything. To feel more. 

Every part of him feels hard against your soft body. His warmth comes pressing on every inch of your skin, allowing you to feel the heat rushing under, pooling from between your legs. You feel exposed, and the sensation is intensified as you have your legs opened for him. 

Smiling, Namjoon walks his hand around your waist. With his palm splayed on your back, he gently pushes you forward. Once again, you collide into each other, your breasts are crushed against his chest, and your lips are entangled with his in a hard, needy kiss. 

His kiss is slow, gentle, almost languid. Almost as if he is trying to savour the moment, yet it feels as if you are melting into him. You can still feel him taking control of this moment when his lips are pressing hard against yours and his tongue slipping into your mouth to swallow the sounds you are making. 

In the rising pleasure, your brain is slowly turning into mush. Your eyes flutter close, and you revel in the sensations that he is bringing to your body, to every single touch and kiss. You drown yourself in his heated kiss, as he swallows your moans with his mouth and tongue. You lean into his strong hands as one moves up your stomach, cupping your breast and rubbing against your hardened nipple, and the other moves along the curves of your body, trailing down your waist to your hips, before cupping your soft bottom. 

His palm presses harder into your soft flesh, making you grow alert of your own movements, finally noticing that your body seems to have gained a mind of its own, moving and grinding his lap in the heat of the moment. 

Your covered center starts growing hot and wet as you keep rubbing against his hips. A gasp escapes your throat as you feel his covered hard-on pressing at your pulsing center. Using his palm, Namjoon guides your steady rocking, each thrust forward falling in tune with each thrust and stroke of his tongue in your mouth. 

Within moments, the heat inside your core rising into small waves of pleasure. Drunken in lust, you lean into him more to chase it, rocking harder, faster, pressing more into his hard cock until you feel like you are hanging on the edge of release. 

“Oh, God,” you gasp against his mouth, moments too close to your first orgasm. 

Namjoon mutters a curse, and his hands tighten on the soft flesh of your bottom, putting everything into a halt. He flips you around to face away from him, doing it with such ease as if you weigh nothing. As you fall back against his chest, your knees drape over his thighs, spreading wide, your throbbing pussy facing away from his heat, away from the its final release. 

“You need relief, baby?” His voice sounds thick as he whispers to your ear. Without waiting for your answer, his fingers zero in on the exact place where you need them to be, as he begins rubbing your clit from over your delicate panties. “Hmmm? I need you to answer me. Let me know what you want.” 

“Yes,” you hiss at his touch, barely able to answer his question while urging him on as you rock your hips into his touch. Namjoon’s other hand moves up to cup your breast, kneading and squeezing until you feel your nipple growing hard under your bra. The ache building on your breasts pulses in the same rhythm as the throbbing you feel building on your clit, which he presses the pad of his fingers onto, moving them in circles. 

“God, Namjoon,” you whine, already panting when he keeps touching all the right places, inciting all the reactions from your body as heat rises from your core. Reaching down, you place your hand over his, your fingers pressing atop of his strong digits as you press against them, causing his touch to grow firm and steady, before you slip your fingers under and slide your panties aside for him. 

Namjoon’s chest rumbles as he groans deeply. “Oh, yeah, that’s it, baby. Offer that sweet little pussy for me.” 

Your cheeks flush with warmth upon hearing his words, and then the warmth spreads through your body when his fingers move to touch your flesh. His fingers are big and strong, yet delicate at the same time. They glide over your slit, which has grown embarrassingly wet, capturing every essence of your arousal as he moves them between your folds. You press your pelvis down to meet his touch, urging him on, and he complies by working his middle finger inside you. 

It feels like forever since the last time you have had sex, and it surely shows because you can already feel your orgasm building the second he starts pumping his finger inside you. The pleasure feels maddening. Enough to make you lose control of yourself as your body rocks with him. You don’t even recognise the sounds coming out of your throat as you embrace the sensations he brings out of you. 

As he feels you giving in to the pleasure, Namjoon adds a second finger, stretching you further. 

Your head falls back on his shoulder as you cry out with pleasure. Your body falls lax against him, powerless against his touch. So he moves his other arm down, wrapping it around your waist to keep you from falling as he continues thrusting his fingers in and out, all while pressing the heel of his palm against your clit until you are weeping with desire. When he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, your pussy clutches on emptiness. 

Needing friction, or something to relief this new need of yours, you begin pressing your wet mound against his thigh, intending to start rubbing against it until you find some kind of release. But Namjoon stops you by delivering a sharp slap, right between your legs. 

“Naughty,” he growls in your ear. “I thought this pussy is mine?” 

Your hips shoot up at the lingering ache, which awakens the throbbing inside your pussy, causing your mind to go fuzzy with the mixed of pain and pleasure he brings to your body. 

Namjoon spanks your pussy again, lighter this time, before going slightly harder when coming back for the third time. Then, as if he knows that you are about to explode, he shoves two fingers right back inside you and starts fucking you with them, moving hard and rough, no longer holding back. It feels intense, sending you light speed towards the peak of your pleasure. 

With a cry slipping out of your lips, your head falls back on his shoulder as the wave of pleasure engulfs you. Digging your nails into his forearms, you ride his fingers, bucking against each thrust of his hand, your walls clenching tightly around him, and your toes curling underneath. Your orgasm comes to you strongly, going on and on while Namjoon keeps his fingers wedged inside you, and you can feel your walls contracting around them as you come all over them. 

Dear God, help me. 

You find yourself praying. Never before had you ever lost control the way you do now. Never once have you ever felt so much pleasure, to make you feel something so intense that you feel like you are losing your mind. 

Namjoon waits until you come down from your release before easing his fingers out of you. Your body grows limp against his, causing him to wrap his arms tighter around you to hold you still. His lips find your shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss while he smooths your panties back in place. 

“That’s it, sweet mama. Relax with me,” he murmurs in your ear, helping you calm down before rearranging your position until you come to face him once more, your legs straddling his toned thighs, pressing against his muscles, his warmth, and the rapid pounding of his heartbeat under your palms.  

“Everything okay?” 

You are still too delirious that you can barely think straight, yet you manage to nod and whisper, “Yeah. Everything’s good.” 

Looking into his eyes, you reach down between your bodies and press your palm over his covered bulge. “But I’m not sure that you’re feeling the same.” 

Groaning deeply, Namjoon’s eyes flutter to close. You continue stroking his covered cock, feeling it hardening under your touch and pushing against his pants that is partly undone. “Keep touching me like that, mama. And I’ll fuck you right here, right now. Or I’ll take you right on top of that counter, right where you’ll be making breakfast for your sweet girls the first morning they’re home.” 

His threat draws a moan from deep within your throat. Biting your lips, you steal a glance towards the kitchen counter. As tempting as it sounds to follow your wanton desire, to be taken hard and rough right where you spend most of your days and mornings, you want something different. You don’t want this to end so quickly, for the night to feel so instant, and you want to savour this pleasure for as long as you are allowed to.  

“Mmm…No, we can’t have that,” you whisper, turning to him to nip his jaw, making him groan. Carefully, you step back from his lap. Your legs are trembling when you try to stand on your own, yet you muster a smile as you calmly say, “Come.” 

You hold out your hand and he grabs it as he rises to his feet. He follows you down the hall and up the stairwell. Past the landing which is surrounded by framed pictures of yourself with your family and your sweet girls and their creative drawings filling the walls, you continue walking upstairs, feeling more self-conscious the closer you get to your bedroom. 

Right before your nerves begin to get in the way, Namjoon’s arms come around you, holding you to his chest as you crash through the doorway to your bedroom. His lips capture yours, swallowing the sound of your laughter until you fall backwards on the bed. 

Standing on the foot of the bed, Namjoon stands tall, a solid figure standing at the center of your world of chaos. He says nothing as he runs his gaze over your body, appreciating what he sees one last time which brings back your confidence. All for knowing that he is liking what he sees. 

Drawn by the urge to touch him, to feel, you push yourself up and start tugging his pants down. “Off—” you murmur as you struggle to peel the damn thing off of him, earning his chuckle. Namjoon helps you halfway, stopping briefly to pull something out of his back pocket before he tosses his whole pants away. He wastes no more time to continue where he left off, as he pushes you back to the bed and lowers himself to you. 

Your arms go around his shoulders to welcome him. Your eyes meet each other again, allowing you to see something that you failed to notice before. Behind his heated gaze, the warm dimple smile, and the alluring words filled with his raw desire, lies another emotion haunting like a shadow. 

An emotion that you know too damn well as it mirrors your own. 

Desperation. 

Swallowing hard, you feel the same emotion coming out of you in strides; the desperation to belong and to be happy; to be able to move through life without being haunted by the unwarranted fear of getting hurt. The desperation to feel. 

Allowing that emotion to take over, you pull him down to you and kiss him deeply. You run your hands down his back, pressing at his spine until he lowers his hips onto yours. You can feel his hard cock pressing on you, its wet tip sticking out from the top of his briefs, rubbing against your skin. You regret not having the chance to have a look at it, to appreciate it through more than your dainty touch. Yet you cannot deny the desperate need to feel him inside you, filling you up until there is nothing left of you when he is done. 

Arching your back, you rock against him, pressing your tender center against his bulge. His mouth unlatches from yours, and then he pulls the lacy cups of your bra with a rough tug, tucking them under your breasts to push them up. He keeps his palms on them, touching them directly this time, skin to skin, bringing all the shudders back and rising twofolds as you cry out his name. 

His mouth finds your neck, and the touch of his lips is almost enough to make you come and unravel right there and then, yet you manage to hold back with a bite of your lip. Without taking his mouth off of you, Namjoon runs his hand down, finding your center and pressing down. The pleasure sparks through your body like fireworks as he rubs in circles against your covered center, pressing against your slit, rubbing at your covered clit, and then finding your wetness to draw out more essence out of you. 

Every nerve in your body comes awake and lights up at the same time, allowing you to feel everything that he is giving you. Engulfed in the pleasure, you barely feel him as Namjoon starts moving down, spreading his fingers down your thighs to part your legs for him, before plunging his head between your quivering thighs. 

You feel a soft tug at your panties, and then cold breeze touches your skin as Namjoon slides the center of your panties aside, exposing your tender pussy. “I wanted to taste you so badly,” he murmurs against your skin as he presses his lips on the apex of your thigh, then he moves to the other side, before reaching to the center, drawing a sharp cry out of you when he presses a kiss right at your folds. 

His tongue drags through your flesh before he sucks gently on your swollen bud. A shiver shoots right up through your body as pleasure sparks from beneath, and he starts fucking you with his tongue. In and out he presses and licks with his warm, soft tongue, tasting your essence with a deep hum, while his mouth keeps stealing a kiss and sucking, intensifying the pleasure. 

With your hands sinking into the sheets beneath you, your hips begin to move, rocking against his mouth and riding the sensation as it grows more and more intense. You lift your head to watch him work. The look he gives you when he returns your gaze causes your body to twitch, your muscles tightening as pleasure coils through your core. 

With a grin, Namjoon buries his face deeper, his teeth grazing at your clit before lapping at the swollen bud with his tongue to take away the pinch of pain. The sensation sends your body falling back. Still rocking your hips to ride the pleasure, you twist the sheets in one hand, and then take a handful of his short hair with the other. 

It doesn’t take long before the familiar wave of pleasure starts rolling through your body, rising intensely from the depth of your core. Your breath quickens as you are climaxing into his mouth. It comes so strongly that you can feel it rushing all the way down to your toes. A series of breathless moans come out of your lips at the same pace as the pulses of pleasure coming alight from inside as your orgasm rolls through your body. 

Your head is ringing with the waves of your orgasm that you barely aware of how you are pulling at his hair, twisting the short strands in your grasp as you writhe beneath him. Yet he doesn’t stop. Not even when he feels you slowly coming down from your high. 

Namjoon continues to lap at your taste, licking away your release as he murmurs gently against your mound, “Fuck, you taste so damn good, baby.” 

His voice fades in and out of you, until he slips a finger inside you, pressing against your inner walls. He pushes right in, curling the tip as he pulls out, finding the sweet spot that sends another jolt of pleasure through your body. Realising this, he adds another finger and starts working them at the same rhythm as the movement of his tongue. Your legs begin shaking, your hips are rising against his other palm that is resting on your lower belly to keep you down, but nothing holds you from erupting as the force of your second orgasm quickly rolls through you, sending you over the edge with a cry. 

You feel a shift on the bed as Namjoon moves on top of you and presses his lips on yours. The remnants of your orgasm is still pulsing through you, and your ears are still ringing, that you can only take what he is giving you, letting him bring you back to the present with his kiss. 

Once you manage to catch your breath, you bring your hands up to him and start pushing his briefs down his hips. He rises slightly from you, taking away his weight and his warmth as he kicks his briefs down his ankle and away. His hand reaches down, wrapping his fingers around his hard girth. 

This time, you take the chance to appreciate his beauty. Just like his hard body, his cock seems beautiful, big and thick and heavy even in his strong palm. 

With his eyes on your face, Namjoon begins lowering himself on you. Your hips rise to welcome him when you feel his cock falling heavy on your stomach. Your hand reaches down between you, as if you are under a spell. Your fingers wrap around him, drawing a soft gasp from his lips. 

Licking your lips, you watch yourself giving him a few light strokes. He seems to enjoy this, as his hips slowly move to return each stroke, each brush of your palm with a thrust of his cock. Groaning deeply, Namjoon bends down to cover you with his hard body. His lips find your neck, kissing the column of your throat as his fingers return to your mounds, pressing into your slit and using the slickness of your arousal and release to move around your entrance. 

“Namjoon, please—” Your breath catches when you feel the tip of his finger pressing at your entrance, pushing against your sensitive walls. He enters you slowly with his fingers. It feels delightful, yet you are ready to feel more. “Mhhh…not enough,” you whine breathlessly, “I want you…inside…now.” 

He chuckles against your throat, and the vibrations you feel coming from his body aren’t exactly helping to lessen the pool of desire between your legs, nor the tight clench of your walls around his fingers. He gives your pussy a few more thrusts of his fingers before he pulls them out, and reaches out to the other side of the bed. 

The soft crinkle sound of a foil gets your heartbeat speeding up in your chest. It’s happening, the voice in your head whispers. Excitement rolls through you, and a wicked through flashes through your head when you meet his gaze again. 

You bite your lip and smile, and then you lift your hands, pushing against his shoulders to bring him down onto the mattress. You follow him as he falls back, and then you climb on top of him, enjoying the thrill rushing through you when you see the shock clearly flashing through his gaze. 

He grips your hips as you straddle him, keeping you steady until you are sitting in the right position. So right that you can feel his hard cock pressing at your slick center from beneath. 

“Well, damn,” he chuckles as he watches you press down your hips on him. “That’s it. Take control, mama. Show me what you want from me.” 

You make a humming sound as you begin rocking over him, pressing down against his length. Your panties have grown completely soiled, placed improperly over your mound that you can feel him partly rubbing against your skin. “You know what I want,” you whisper, moaning when you feel his girth rubbing at your clit. 

Hoping to feel more, you continue rocking, rubbing your center along the length of his cock. But it isn’t enough. The panties keep getting in the way just when you are close to getting what you want. You reach down to begin peeling the damn thing off of you when Namjoon takes over. 

“Let me help you with that,” he says, before he suddenly lifts himself up to a sitting position. His hands are quick to catch your waist to stop you from falling back, keeping you on his lap as he moves his hand to your back.

His eyes look down on your heaving chest, and then his hands are pulling at your undergarments. Starting from your bra, as he expertly peels it off of you within a blink of an eye, then continuing to reach down. The ripping sound of your panties as they fall apart fills the room before you can feel yourself being freed from its presence. The strong pull that he gives on the flimsy fabric barely feels like anything on your skin, your mind too muddled to process it until it is too late. 

The moment it dawns on you what is happening, there is nothing else that you can do but to watch with wide eyes, mouth gaping in shock, as Namjoon lifts your ruined panties to his lips and breathes in.

“You won’t be needing them for a while,” he says with a hum at the sound of your sharp inhale of breath.   

“You’re so bad.” An incredulous laugh comes out of you as he tosses the tattered panties away. 

His hands return to your waist then and he pulls you closer, settling you down nicely on his lap as he asks, “Maybe I am. Are you going to punish me for being a bad boy?” 

“Maybe I will,” you tease him as you run your fingers up his chest, pushing him back down. “Naughty boy.” 

The glimmer of the foil he is holding between his fingers catches your attention. You pick it up, ripping the foil and letting the rubber fall on your palm. “Is this okay?” 

He nods, and then his eyes darken as you gently slide the condom down the length of his cock. Your can feel him twitching under your touch, his head falling back briefly with a groan coming out of his throat when the tips of your fingers meet his skin. Once he is perfectly covered, you move back into position. 

Namjoon gently guides you back over him, straddling him once again without anything else getting in the way this time. 

You lean forward and place a kiss on his lips, one that feels a bit too sweet and shy. For a moment, your confidence wanes. Being on top of him, unrestrained, and being in complete control makes you feel subconscious with yourself. It makes you feel insecure, suddenly feeling worried that you might not be enough. 

As you sit up, your pussy rocks against his cock. You can feel his girth pressing against the dampness which has been growing between your legs, the heat of his body radiates from him and it transfers through your body with each pulse of his blood that you feel against you. 

His fingers find their place between your legs, rubbing your clit in slow circles, drawing moans after moans, shudders rolling through your body that you begin moving in response to his touch. Your hips buck up against his hand, desperate for friction. You continue rolling your body as he presses just a bit harder, drawing yet another moan from your lips that comes together with the intense shiver surging from your core. 

Enjoying the way you are reacting to him, he rises up to steal a kiss, chuckling softly against your mouth when he feels the twitch of your hips when his cock is pressing harder against your folds. He pulls back, showing you his wicked grin that has your heart beating rapidly. 

You lift your hips, and he reaches down to position his cock against your opening. Your body instantly trembles when you feel him nudging against your pussy, spreading your entrance to allow himself in. Then you begin to slide down on him, taking it slow as you take his cock inside you, inch by delicious inch. Your legs quiver around him as you feel him spreading your tight walls, yet you welcome him with a slow moan, allowing yourself to take him deeper as you continue going down, until he is almost fully inside you and you are nearly resting on his hips. 

A pulse rocks through you once, and you carefully lift yourself up, sliding up his length and coming back down, getting deeper in your descent. 

“You are so perfect,” he whispers to you as you continue riding his cock, keeping a slow pace as you adjust yourself to his size. 

Namjoon falls back, letting you take control. Something that no other person has ever done before. He keeps his eyes on you as you continue moving on top of him, sliding up and down the length of his cock, while embracing the waves of pleasure that you get to feel from your constant rocking. His eyes are filled with admiration as he watches you move, your head falling back at the height of your pleasure, your chest arching, showing him the sight of your shaking breasts. 

“You are so fucking hot,” he moans, taking your breasts in his hands. You relish every single sensation you are feeling with a moan. It feels incredible. Not just this—the sex, the feeling of him being buried inside your heat, filling you up and giving you pleasure—but also for feeling like you are free. 

Sitting naked on top of such a gorgeous man, rocking up and down his cock, enjoying the pleasure without your nerves getting in the way, your insecurities left forgotten. It feels so damn empowering to be owning up to your sexuality, to your wanton desire, after having it denied for so long. All because of your haunting past making you feel like you are less than the person you are now. 

These thoughts push you to ride him harder, faster, your fingers sinking into the sheets on either side of him to anchor you against him, while his fingers grow tighter on your hips to help you ride him to chase your pleasure. 

“That’s it, baby,” he urges you on with a breathy voice, deep groans slipping out of him when you begin fucking him wildly. “Go on, let it go, mama.” 

Holding you up against him, Namjoon begins rocking his hips, thrusting up to meet you in your descend. The maddening pleasure rocks through you, and another wave of climax sets off, coiling from your core, up to your lower belly. And right as you are ready to plunge into your climax, Namjoon bends forward, capturing one of your nipples with his mouth and begins sucking, while he reaches up to pinch the other with his fingers. 

With a sharp cry, you unravel completely without fail. Your orgasm comes to you not in waves but an explosion, the pain only intensifies the pleasure as it hits, and your body trembles as you embrace it. 

Everything fades in and out as your mind and body recovers from the intense high. Your legs are quivering too much that you fall onto his chest, and Namjoon carefully flips you to the side until you are on your back. Ears once again ringing, the sounds of him moving on the sheets seem so distant. But you can feel the dip when he lowers himself on you, his lips finding yours, bringing you back, and then pressing against your neck to quiet down the rapid pulsing of blood surging under your skin. 

Once your mind regains clarity, you notice his hand moving. You open your eyes when you cannot feel his touch, and realise that he is giving himself some lazy strokes. “You haven’t gotten yours,” you whisper with a raspy voice, and his grin returns. 

“You’ve already came too many times, so—” 

Shaking your head, you reach up and pull him back to you. “I can’t be the only one feeling good tonight,” you insist as you capture his lips, enticing him with a light bite. As he returns the kiss, your legs spread open for him, welcoming him back to you. “I want to make you feel good too.” 

Groaning, Namjoon deepens the kiss. Still stroking himself, he uses the other hand to gently touch your tender pussy, making sure that you won’t hurt if he continues. “Are you sure?” he murmurs against your lips, before feeling you nod. 

Unable to wait long, he quickly gets between your legs again. He covers you with his heat, his toned chest pressing down against your body, delightfully engulfing you with his warmth. Then his hips rock forward, pressing the wet tip of his stiff cock against your pulsing heat. Your back arches the moment you feel him pushing, just enough until you feel the tip penetrating your entrance.

“Namjoon—” you gasp out his name, and his hands come down to your hips, holding you still as he enters you, thrusting deep and slow. 

Your legs are spread wider, giving him room to get as deep as he possibly can until your hips are flushed against each other. 

Fuck yes, you can hear yourself screaming in your head, while your mouth gapes open with a breathless moan at how full you are feeling with him snugged inside your pussy. 

“God, fuck—you feel amazing,” he breathes out as he too becomes still. 

Your body clenches around his cock at hearing his words, loving how his praise is stroking at your ego. It seems that your body has gotten used to him so well that he feels like a perfect fit inside you. 

“You don’t feel too bad yourself,” you playfully tease him, making him groan deeply that you can feel his entire body vibrating all the way to your core. 

“Not bad, huh?” he groans, almost sounding feral when he continues his gentle rocking. “Guess I’ll have to stop holding back, then.” 

With a groan, he pulls back almost all the way out and thrusts back into you, rocking both of you against the mattress as he fucks you into it. You grab tightly on the messy sheets beneath you, already tangled by the previous rocking and fucking and growing even messier now that he is picking up pace immediately. It feels intense, making you feel delirious as he moves in and out of you rapidly. And it feels so damn good that you just don’t want it to stop. 

“Oh, baby...so perfect,” he gasps, and you open your eyes to see his eyes glazing over with pleasure as he gets lost in your body. 

It turns you on so badly to see a man unraveling this way—to be so lost in his pleasure and growing feral as he gives in completely to the sensation. At the same time, it makes you feel powerful, knowing that you are the one making him this way. For someone like him to let his guard down and show you the real part of him. To let you see how raw and passionate he becomes when he is bringing pleasure to both of your bodies. 

It makes you feel so hot, and it feels so good, that it practically sends you straight into your final climax. To unravel the same way he does at the pleasure of his lovemaking. 

“Keep tightening around me like that, and I won’t last long,” he warns you, while you can only hold back a grin. As if you will take his words like you would to a threat. 

You run your hands up his chest, feeling up his toned muscles as they strain with each thrust he is giving you, before you reach up to the back of his neck and grab a handful of his short hair. A smile grows on your face when he lets out another groan, and his hips nearly buckle and twitch as his rocking begins to grow haste. 

He’s close. 

“Oh, fuck. I’m coming,” he groans, although it almost sounds like he is shouting.

“Yes, please. Come with me. I’m also there,” you whimper breathlessly when your orgasm starts to build. 

His grip on your hips tightens as he begins pumping into you fast and hard, hitting all the right spots. You almost believe that he is also growing firmer, harder, bigger, that the only thing you can feel is him, rubbing against your throbbing walls and pushing you over the edge. 

A scream slips out of you when the orgasm hits like a massive wave. Your back is almost lifted completely off the bed as your entire body vibrates with pleasure. You can hear him shouting under the sound of your rapid heartbeat, before you feel him pulsing, spilling his heat into you as he joins you in his own orgasm. 

Your legs are wrapped around his hips while your arms are hooked around his neck as you hold onto him, refusing to let go as you relish the waves of your orgasm until they begin to settle. You have barely gotten back control of your breathing when he leans down, capturing your lips into a kiss. 

The kiss is slow, almost languid, and just as gentle as the movement of his hands as he runs them down your sweaty body. You can still the spasms of your climax lingering as he slowly pulls out of you, allowing you to feel his presence even as he pulls away, dropping right beside you with a soft grunt. 

Your eyes are already fluttering to close while he takes his time taking care of his soiled condom and tossing it away to the trash. Yet you are still coherent when he returns, engulfing you in his strong arms, filling your breath with his scent. 

“That was fucking amazing,” he mumbles against your skin as you feel his lips pressing on your bare shoulder. 

“Hmm…yes, it was…” 

A sigh leaves your lips. The content feeling weaving through your body steals the words that you want so badly to say. 

Incredible. Astounding. 

“Magical,” you find yourself whispering, drawing a soft chuckle from him. 

You look at him through your hazy eyes, finding him looking back at you with a different shadow lingering in his gaze which makes you want to say the words that you never expected you would say to him. 

Stay the night. 

The words die on your tongue as sleep is slowly dragging you down. You try to fight it, even if you aren’t quite sure about saying those words out loud. You have no idea what will come out of this. All you can think about is that you don’t want this to end too soon. 

“The girls are out all weekend, aren’t they?” His voice breaks the silence, forcing you to open your eyes. 

“Yes, they’re staying at their grandparents. I won’t have to pick them up until Monday afternoon,” you breathlessly answer, recalling faintly how your mother had offered to take Suzy to school and Hana to kindergarten so you wouldn’t have to drive all the way to her house on a Sunday, expecting you to sleep through your hangover and spend the day resting. “Why are you asking?” 

“I just wasn’t sure how they would react coming home to find a grown-ass man snuggling with their mom.” He softly chuckles, and in a brief moment of silence, you see a different look appearing in his eyes. A part of him that seems more vulnerable coming out of him in waves, right before he asks you, “Unless you want me out of here?” 

Once again, you can see yourself in his gaze. To once again share the same emotions, the same vulnerability which feels too damn familiar. Deep down, you start wishing that you didn’t see it. Because seeing this side of him only makes you care a lot more than you should for someone who is only supposed to be your one-night-stand. Because seeing it only makes you want more. 

You close your eyes and try not to think too deeply about it. Not when your mind is still muddled from the wild sex you just had with him. And when his touch is still lingering on your skin. 

You can worry about this tomorrow, you hear the same small voice in your head whispering, and you decide that you are going to listen this time. 

Pushing yourself up, you pull the blanket from the foot of the bed and drag it up to cover both of your nakedness before sliding back to him. “Nope, you’re staying,” you firmly say as you tuck him in. “I promised to make you dinner, but I really don’t have any energy left to leave the bed right now, so you can make it up by helping me make breakfast tomorrow.” 

Namjoon laughs. He visibly relaxes beside you when he mutters, “I love it when you boss me around.” 

You stop to look at him, biting your lips before asking, “Would you mind if I keep doing that?” 

His smile softens, and the alluring dimple returns for a brief second as he leans in to kiss your temple. “Boss me around anytime, mama. I’ll be good. I promise.” 

Author’s Note 2.0 | Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this story, please leave a like and reblog to share with your friends and let me know what you think. See you in the next one! PS. You can get to know Jin the bartender and read his story in Blurred Lines. 

— ©Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind, translations, unsanctioned adaptations are not allowed.

[skyrigel]

Hi! I love all of your writing, could please do Benedict and best friend reader at a ball and he over hears some girls bullying reader and goes OFF and reader runs off and he thinks he’s embarrassed her but when he finds her she explains she found it super hot and then some smut please! 💖

You are in love 1 || B.B

Part 2 of " you are in love"

Pairing: Benedict bridgerton x best friend! Reader, + Polin

Warning: fem! reader, no description of reader, friendly flirting and teasing, mutual pinning, use of inappropriate words, reader has a step sister. Fluff and angst, part 1 of you are in love. Part : 2 will be smut

Rigel's note 🪩: Thank you for requesting, and the compliment<3333 *smooches* I hope you don't mind me doing it in two parts :) the title is taken from Taylor Swift's song " you are in love", it popped as soon as I read best friend reader, hope it's not as bad as it's in my head, sending love back, also part 2 soon.

" Perks of being a woman, you don't have to dance with Eloise bridgerton." You remarked when it was the fifth time Eloise stepped on lord White's toe.

Benedict snorted on his lemonade as he looked at you sideways, his iconic lop sided grin plastered to his smug face.

" I was her dance partner, " Benedict fake sniffed, wiping the fake tear, ", that too, before she started lessons."

You winced at the idea of Eloise before her lesson and gave Benedict a pat on his back for being ever the sacrifice.

" I thought that's why you danced wierd " you told him, smiling when he looked at you scandalously.

" Excuse me ?! " He narrowed his eyes, " you take that back ! " He slammed the glass down with force.

" Will not, you dance like...like a snowman ! " You beamed, slamming your fan down and glaring back, nose to nose, eye to eye.

" That never stopped you from dancing with me." He said smugly and retreated to his space with a satisfied look in his eyes when your jaw slacked slightly.

" You don't dance like a snowman with me." you told him in a small voice and that's when it hit you how gracefully he twirled you around when he was practically running away from other beautiful young ladies.

Benedict smiled, his eyes twinkling at you as he raised his brow, like in a question.

" And why would you think that ? " His mouth twisted and you didn't know what to say.

" Perhaps because I dance well...? " You tried and despite it being not the answer he expected, he laughed all the same.

" You dance like a ... a Kangaroo." Benedict thought hard and a muscle in his jaw twitched, he smiled proudly when he got the right word to annoy you.

" What's a kangaroo ? " You asked, you had heard it somewhere but it was easier to ask him than think hard.

" It's like..." Benedict motioned with his hands something like a vase," it's a cute animal." He finally said when nothing more could be made out from his gestures.

"Oh." You nodded and then it hit you, " Did you just call me an ANIMAL ?! " You snarled at him and he shaked his head with a chuckle.

" I called you cute too." He squabbled.

" Kangaroo's aren't cute ! " You jabbed at him and he chuckled, grabbing your wrist firmly, a spark so bright jolted inside you and you felt your face grow hot.

" Then I don't dance like a snowman—" you sticked your tongue out at him and he was lost in words, just looking, you saw the opportunity and yanked your hand away from his grip. He relented like a gentleman.

" You are always like..like running away and leaning off while dancing and it's so so snowman like." You argued and Benedict's eyes twinkled like moon.

" Have you seen a snowman waltzing ? " Benedict asked and you shaked your head, while clutching at your chest, you couldn't help the giggling.

" Yes if we are talking about a tall, handsome and smug snowman."

" You think I am handsome ? " Benedict ducked his head closer to your face and you felt your breath hitching in your throat, like air was punched out of your chest.

You rolled your eyes when it became too apparent that no word would come out of your traitorous throat and you couldn't help but gaze back at him, he looked back just the same, all fire and blaze.

" You didn't answer my question." He said slowly, each word carefully and it squeezed your heart how close his face was, how beautiful those eyes were, and that nose, and those cheeks, those lines when he smiled, he oftened and it was so warm and gorgeous, how you never noticed how captivating he was, every atom of his body was tied with an invisible thread with yours, a golden one. And you would be damned to think of that mouth, your lips parted at the ethereal site and Benedict smiled at that.

" No." You just said it, eager to say anything and break this moment, it was swirling you around in a storm.

" No ? " He questioned, frowning and he was handsome at that too, you were so doomed.

" You are silly like handsome, like some lord Byron poetry." you murmured softly, safe guarding the hammering heart in your chest and blinking at the sudden burn from his gaze on you, drinking you in, his brow knitted in funny way, a mock annoyance crossed his face.

" Lord Byron ?! Really, " he dropped back to his seat and you finally took a breath, then he covered his face like a damsel in distress and when he glanced sideways at you, he was smiling his brightest, oh, you just realised how goofy and precious and mesmerizing his smile was, you wished to stop time and paint it under your lids so everytime you close your eyes, you could meet him there, in your secret gardens and then a death like that would be sweeter.

" What ? " You exasperated when he refused to look away, even when your nose wrinkled and face basked in it's warmth, he wouldn't let go of you, taking each and every detail in like he was wishing to stop time too and paint you. He could, he was an artist.

" You called me poetry..." His mouth quirked up in a delightful grin, like it explained all the merry and you groaned, looking away as you huffed the tingling in your body that wouldn't go, your eyes landed on a very eventful moment.

" Is that our Colin ? " You raised your brow at Benedict who sat up straighter and turned his gaze to the other side of the hall.

" Why is he eye murdering lord Debling ? " You asked him, he winked and pulled your chair closer, not caring if any mama saw or perhaps lady whistledown herself.

" Penelope is dancing with lord Debling, and well she's laughing at something too, oh—" Benedict whispered in the shell of your ear and you barely nodded, Colin looked like he had enough, he was making his way through the crowd towards Pen.

" Forty shillings if he punches lord Debling." You piped up, Benedict shaked his head.

" You are gonna lose cupcake, he's gonna take Miss Featherington's hand and—" you gasped when Colin stopped abruptly, said something urgently and took Penelope's wrist between his hand, Benedict cocked his head to his side and winked smugly.

" And ? " You drawled and it amused Benedict beyond limits, like he has been waiting for it.

" Birds and bees." He said in a code like hushed whisper, you smacked the back of his head.

" I don't have a mother, you know." You told Benedict and he touched his upper lip with the tip of his pink tongue, he nodded along knowingly.

" Well, someone's gotta teach you."

" Mm.. you are my best friend." You would look anywhere but at him but your eye's were locked in his, he was being brave then so can you. One step, not much.

" I can not tell you birds and bee." Benedict said sincerely.

" Colin helped Pen ! " You said, nose flaring as he worried his jaw but didn't say anything.

" He told her how kids are made, something like going to a farm and then...well he kissed her but that's not the point." You blurted in a whisper, he listened intently.

" He kissed her already ? "

" Well a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell but a lady can, but that's not the point! " You pouted, his resistance crumbled but then again, bloody bridgerton.

" That's not my place cupcake." He was breathing hard, his mouth would open and snap close again, taking back all the things left unsaid.

" Well then—" you hated how choked your voice got, you tried, didn't you, it's not like you left it on god's cue, this was the biggest hint you could have given him and if he didn't got this, then only bricks might work.

Give him one more, a small voice said in your head, it was yours, but stronger and braver than you.

" —then you can tell me about love."

Benedict laughed on that, like it was the funniest thing you had said.

" You know what? I take it back, I am gonna ask someone—" you smoothed your skirt and began to get up when he pulled you down.

" Sorry, I didn't mean that, sorry, don't go leaving me stranded." He pleaded.

You looked at him hard, looking for any sign of humour and you found none, he was glittering when he clapped his tongue and opened his mouth, his soft tongue resting like a tired cat.

" Love," he began," is like music."

" Like music." You repeated, struggling with the fit laughter that shook your shoulders.

Benedict glanced at you offended but when he spoke next, it was how the poets said, with longing and desire, like bleeding for your beloved and when no blood was left then it was ink and parchment.

" You can hear it in the silence." He said, you remembered those afternoons when no word was said between you and your bestfriend and yet nothing was hidden and left unsaid.

" You can feel it on your way home." He said, penetrating his gaze in you eyes and he remembered damn well that night after he rescued you from the lake when you almost drowned, the terror of losing you, the spark of holding you closer than ever.

" You can see it with the light's out, it's so bright and golden." Everything is more beautiful with you Benedict, you told him one Sunny afternoon, basking under a tree while he read you poetry, Better than Byron.

" Loving that one person will make you love yourself, with them, you are enough." He was whispering now, chest heaving as his hand trembled and unknowingly yours found his under the table, locked eye's and joined hands and sacred whispered chants. It was enough.

" You aren't too much, or too little, or loud or boring, you don't have to be interesting or witty or anything, being youself with them is enough." I like myself with you, he had told you when you were sixteen.

" That's love, being safe with them is love, being their home is love, to be able to leave all shades behind and be naked in just body and soul and not being afraid, not being embarassed is love."

" Benedict..." Your voice was soft and sweet and it took him a moment to realise he was crying, when you gently wiped it's proof with your handkerchief.

" I...I will be back in a moment—" he stumbled out, still smiling a small smile and oh god what you have done, you have ruined him as well your self and nothing will ever be the same.

" Yes...." You said, because he was waiting for your approval, he nodded back when he got it and disappeared amongst the crowd as you watched him leave.

Love was indeed like music, the one you liked, it could be light as bee buzzing and sharp as thunder roaring in clouds, it could be slow and rhythmic and soft like water flowing, it could be the sound of his laughter and the way he drew his breath, it could be how he whined and joked and played and teased, for you, love was the music and muse of Benedict bridgerton and yes, you were very much doomed.

" What a pleasant site, a spinster smiling on her own, have you planned some scandalous plan of yours to bag some noble man ? " Claire wheezed in a duckling like laughter, shared with Asha Patil and Gissele Turner.

You refused to say anything, it only further added spice to their boring marital lives, with their husbands out and wombs empty.

" Would you look at her ? She's giving us that attitude, no wonder she's still unmarried ! " Scowled Asha, with her frizzy hair and crooked nose, her eyes coated in loathing of most tainted kind.

" She might had gotten the ring if she wasn't being Mr. Bridgerton's bitch." Gissele whispered it down to you and anger shot up through your veins and your eyes snapped to her, it didn't matter if she was your elder sister and the rage that blinded you was so fierce that you didn't feel when two big tears rolled down your cheek.

" Don't cry now, you can always be his mistress atleast." They all laughed, loud and big and white teeth flashing, with their fake diamond rings rubbing in your eyes but it was too blur, you saw nothing, you heard nothing, everything was drowning around you.

" Speaking of mistresses, Lord Hasting has bought a bigger estate for his mistress than your home in east London and I wouldn't blame him lady Hasting."

You can hear it in the silence.

It was your love's voice, it was your Benedict speaking and you lifted your mascara stained lashed eyes at him.

If you had known him less than you couldn't have known of the terrible anger that was shaking him, that smile was no ordinary, it was feral and stray, wanting to tear anyone who dared to come near, he was burning in anger that was beyond words.

Claire sizzled at that remark, turning her hand to her palm side and only moments ago she was flashing her ring and now, she was hiding it.

" Don't ruin your reputation by showing ungratefuls such as her your pity Mr. Bridgerton." It would've hurt less, were it Claire or Asha, but it was your own half sister, be it half blood but blood all the same.

" Lady Turner, i have no wish to speak to you, you have hurt my best friend beyond words, you had taken her affections for granted so if someone's ungrateful then it's sorely you, you don't deserve a sister like her, she's too good for all of us." He was carefully placing the word and his anger slipped between, his teeth grinded and breath hitched, you stared, just at him and him, everything was getting dimmer but you knew in that moment, you would know him in darkness.

you can feel it with the light's out.

He had done many things for you, Benedict stole Anthony's horse to take you out on a midnight ride, he nicked Colin's sword and taught you fencing, bought ribbons of your favourite pastel silk, saved your favourite sweets, and so many and so more, but this was something you couldn't have done yourself if you wanted, he had done it, he had stood up for you and it was the most gleaming moment of your life, he wasn't playing hero, he wasn't being mean, he was protecting your with your honour and Benedict, the gentleman who wouldn't hurt a fly, he was going to dagger them down with words alone.

He was speaking and speaking and they were all quiet, their eyes low and nose bowed down, he was speaking and speaking, words clear with pure affection and respect and then your felt it.

The warmness aroused in your womanhood and an inaudible gasp parted through your lips as you felt the slicky wet feeling caress your inner thigh and the sensation was so electrifying that you had to close your eyes in order to take a breath and even then, you could feel his words, soft and praising, " ......if you were half good as a woman she is....." He was breathless and he wasn't stopping and something inside you wanted to cup his face and tell him, don't Stop, never stop.

And then his eyes looked for you, he found your gaze and held it and you felt the shame, you couldn't do this to him, this burning desire would take you both down in flames and what it would be to become one, only in ashes, it was scaring you.

And before you could think of say anything, you were already on your feet, stumbling through the crowd with your gown kissing the floor behind you.

You didn't know where you were going but far, away and this feeling wouldn't let go, you knew well but you wanted air, the warmness that was spreading was maddening and the hunger was tugging under your skin.

He was calling out your name, you hated yourself but you needed to run, this love would ruin you, what if Benedict hated you if you told him how you felt, how you thought about him, would he call you a whore along with Gissele, would it hurt more ?

More than anything.

His voice turned to pleading as crowd thickened and you were getting out of his sight. You wouldn't look back, because if you did then you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from doing something very stupid.

You were out of the gates, descending down the stairs as one heel slipped out but you didn't care, you were on a run.

Johnny was already motioning the horses as you frantically climbed in, you could see Colin chasing down Penelope's carriage in a distance as you opened the window to inhale heavy gulps of air.

Would Benedict Chase you down too ? Would he come and look for you ? And if he did, what would you tell him ?

You are my best friend.

Part 2

[sortagaysortahigh]

Operation Exemies to Lovers | Cregan Stark

A/N: Now yall know i have not written and finished a fic in a hot minute so sorry if this reads a bit wonky. Yk I'm an enemies to lovers and exes to lovers girl, so why not combine them both into a modern!cregan stark fic? Also, this is dialogue heavy as that's kind of my thing, if it's not yours, welpt keep scrolling boo I aint mad!. I also fixed the inc*st family tree so you'll see that in this as well (i'll prob keep it for future modern AUs). Anyways lmk what you think and enjoy! Also, I suck at summaries so I pull quotes from my fics, sorry not sorry pookies

Summary: “So y’know those sappy novels Hel’s always reading, anyways I asked her about them and she had one where the two main characters were like totally at ends with each other but their friends were like ‘nah they should be smashing’ so we think, based on our research and our scholarly source-Helaena, we should force them to be around each other until they finally talk it out! Or well, y’know-f*ck it out”

Warnings: cussing, spelling and grammar errors (sue me!), kissing, mentions of smut/allusions to smut but no smut, arguing, Alyssane Blackwood slander (sorry girl), somewhat mean!reader, this is an AU where Aegon's not a bad guy!!!! just a clown <3, mentions of an ill parent, Baela be hitting Aegon (he earned it!), Aemond is still missing an eye sorry to the Aemond girls

Word Count: 6.4k (period I stuck to keeping it short and sweet)

Modern!Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader

“He’s staring at you again” you scoffed, rolling your eyes, doing your best to focus on highlighting the passages about the few Westerosi Civil Wars that had happened centuries ago. It was already difficult enough to focus in the crowded library, midterms were killing everyone. 

It wasn’t a shock for the once quiet and almost empty library to be packed, especially with student athletes who were desperately catching up on their studies in attempts to pass all of their midterms, write endless essays, and practically beg their professors for extra credit via email. 

You should’ve been able to focus on the task at hand, studying with your best friends Baela and Rhaena for your upcoming history midterm, the exam itself would focus heavily on the several majors wars that shaped westerosi society as a whole, and would even include the transition from government leadership as a monarchy into a democracy. 

Hell you’d even have to describe what was once known as the ‘Iron Throne’ and its historical significance. Truthfully the large metal hunk of junk was now sitting in the King’s Landing Red Keep Memorial Museum.

Usually the library was the easiest place for the three of you to study, it wasn’t as loud as your fourth floor flat in one of the student apartment buildings off campus, it was usually pretty clean and well kept, plus every resource you could possibly need was somewhere within the large building. 

However today, your usually comfortable red leather-lined chair felt stiff and was making you hot, not to mention the lack of air flow and increased temperature due to the amount of body heat on each floor, then the lights were either too bright or too dim, and all you wanted to do was slam the books shut, grab your laptop and leave.

“Let him stare.” you muttered as you tried to keep your gaze on the text in front of you, however it was getting increasingly difficult as a very specific pair of eyes were practically burning a hole into your side. 

Gods, he was so obnoxious.

“I don’t think it’s healthy for you to hold onto the grudge against him, of course he totally earned it! I’m not downplaying your emotions but anytime he’s around you stiffen up like a virgin afraid of dick” your jaw dropped at Baela’s words, now staring at her, brows furrowed in shock.

“Baela! You can’t say things like that” Rhaena almost immediately swatted at her sister’s arm, shaking her head before tucking one of her loose locks behind her ear. “You really take after father sometimes.” 

Baela simply shrugged, glancing back at the two tables that were usually empty, now they were filled with six of the school’s hockey players, all spread apart with a plethora of books, laptops, pens, and notepads covering the tables. That’s also not counting all of their bags laying on the floor besides their chairs. 

“I get that you two broke up on not so good terms, but you should be showing him that you don’t care about him! Not that he makes you so angry you’re about to explode like a bomb in Mario Party”.

With that Baela turned her gaze back to her laptop, however at the sound of several texts chiming in at once to both Baela and Rhaena’s phones, you knew that their cousins had texted them once again. It made sense that they’d all shared a group chat, especially considering how close in age they were, and how large the Targaryen/Hightower/Velaryon family was. 

Of course the first time Baela had broken down their family tree you were incredibly confused. Her mother Laena Velaryon was married to Daemon Targaryen, who happened to be the uncle to her cousins Jace, Luke, and Joffrey’s mother Rhaenyra. 

Now, Rhaenyra was married to Dr. Strong (or just Harwin as he’d asked you to call him once at a family gathering you’d been invited to, to which you quickly declined as he was your Literature professor), but based on the Targaryen’s political status within Westeros, their sons took their mother’s last name, not their father. 

Then comes Aegon and Aemond, now truthfully you’d met Aegon your second week of classes a few years ago when he’d caught you off guard, asked for your number, then got mad when you’d ghosted him after finding out he had a girlfriend! (Shame on him, truly). But you actually ended up being pretty good friends with the goof. 

Anyways, Aegon and Aemond were the children of Rhaenyra’s best friend, and now sister-in-law Alicent Hightower who married Rhaenyra’s only brother Baelon Targaryen. 

It’s also important to remember that throughout this entire family tree, which was in fact drawn out on construction paper for you, Alicent and Baelon also had two other children, Daeron and Halaena, both of them attending Sunspear University together. Then of course Rhaenyra and Dr.Strong (Harwin), have two much smaller sons, Aegon and Viserys, which was even more confusing considering you’d already met an Aegon.

Rhaena and Baela shared a look, and it was a look that worried you, so of course instead of being rational and brushing it off, you clenched your jaw as you slowly turned around, making eye contact with none other than your ex-boyfriend who’d been leaning his head against his hand and staring at you with what could only be described as a mournful lovesick expression.

You rolled your eyes, quickly turning back around before anyone else would look at you and do something that would probably piss you off. 

It also didn’t help that the cousins texting Baela and Rhaena were also seated at the table with your ex boyfriend. 

“Jace said that Cregan wants to talk to you but you blocked him, I don’t think you want to know what Aegon said, but it involved an eggplant emoji and a bed” you rolled your eyes, letting out a deep sigh while sitting up straight and shaking your head.

“He’s apologized a million times and has yet to tell me why he decided to go out of his way to not only break things off with me and tell me he still loved me in the same damn sentence, then go out the same night and end up on Aegon-Aegon of all people’s instagram story sucking face with that Blackwood bitch while she was on his lap.” 

You let out a cynical laugh of sorts, rolling your eyes once again. 

“Tell Cregan Stark that I’d rather fuck Aegon after one of his alley-way vomit sprees than ever talk to him again” however, before you could focus back on your studies, an amused laugh came from behind you before the chair next to you was pulled out, only for you to meet the gaze of Aegon Targaryen himself, a lopsided smile on his face with his brows wiggling in a playful suggestive manner.

“Well if I knew the easiest way to get you into my bed was to go drinking until I’m sick then I would’ve invited you out sooner baby” with that he leaned closer while making kissing noises, only to be met with your hand shoving his face away.

“Aeg, for the last time, she doesn’t want you like that” he feigned hurt at Rhaena, sliding back into the chair with his hand over his heart. 

“You wound me dear cousin! You wound me!” then he sat up straight, now looking back at you “so I was sent over here as a trusted messenger. My boy back there, you know him quite well, if y’know what I mean-” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down again, then you shoved him “-anyways, Cregan has been like all sulky and heartbroken and he really misses you. And he doesn’t want anything to do with Alysanne! She came onto him!, so can you give him another shot?”

With that you simply shook your head, quickly packing your things up while scoffing. 

“Tell your “boy back there”-” you spoke with air quotations “-that if he really gave a fuck about me, he shouldn’t have dumped me after two years for no god damn reason, then fucked that Blackwood bitch-who by the way is a fucking whore!” 

Your outburst was met with the looks of many, Rhaena quickly clearing her throat watching as you packed your things away. “What she means to say is, she doesn’t want to talk to him. I think it’s too fresh still”

Aegon scoffed “it’s been four months people! Four months! The summer ended, it’s a new semester, I think she can talk to him now” he glanced around the table, eyes widening as he watched Baela grasp quite the hefty textbook while glaring at him.

“Baela don’t hit me! I’m just saying! Listen-” but before he could finish you’d already gotten up and mumbled that you’d see them at home while you walked away.

Aegon paused, watching as you walked away, blatantly checking you out for a few moments, then you’d disappeared. He then turned around and motioned for someone to come to the table, this is what led both Jace and Luke to walk across the room and now sit where you were sitting and in the last empty seat of the table.

“Listen, we’re all tired of being caught in the middle of this awkward divorce alright. So we came up with a plan!” Baela shook her head while Rhaena sighed slightly.

“No offense Aeg, but your plans are always horrible, need I remind you of Aemond’s missing eyeball?” Luke winced slightly, remembering the day he’d accidentally hit Aemond in the eye with a firewood poker when swinging it behind him.

Truthfully, Luke had no idea Aemond had entered the room when he and Aegon were ‘dueling’ one another, however he’d felt his poker hit something, and he heard Aemond’s loud scream of pain. 

They’d all been kids when that happened, and to make it worse it occurred on their grandfather’s birthday when everyone had traveled to King’s Landing for a large birthday dinner/family holiday.

“She’s got a point there Aegon, but-guys-we all came up with the idea together!” Luke placed his hands on the shoulder of his cousin and his brother, smiling widely while Baela and Rhaena both shook their heads in disappointment.

“Okay, you win, but if the idea is bad, Baela’s going to smack Aegon with that textbook, so pray it’s not bad” they all nodded, Aegon scooting back slightly.

“So y’know those sappy novels Hel’s always reading, anyways I asked her about them and she had one where the two main characters were like totally at ends with each other but their friends were like ‘nah they should be smashing’ so we think, based on our research and our scholarly source-Helaena, we should force them to be around each other until they finally talk it out! Or well, y’know-fuck it out”

He paused to take a quick breath “But we can’t let them in on the plan, otherwise Cregan’s gonna be all like ‘oh my god no she hates me, the love of my life hates me I can’t torture her, blah blah blah, I’m so nice and honorable, blah blah’ and she’s gonna be like ‘fuck that, I’ll kill him for fucking that Blackwood bitch and dumping me for no god damn reason’. Also I don’t think he ever fucked Alysanne-but I did-niether here nor there though!” 

Jace and Luke looked at Baela and Rhaena as if they were waiting to be yelled at by their mother, meanwhile Aegon smiled and nodded after his long winded explanation.

Rhaena spoke first “y’know honestly, your impression of her is pretty spot on.” Baela nodded her head in agreement before adding in “but if this doesn’t work, and she finds out, she’ll want to kill all of you and Cregan. I’m sure you all have realized being on her shit list isn’t exactly the best”

Jace nodded, glancing back at Cregan who was finally focusing on his statistics work with a stoic expression on his face. “Listen, if it doesn’t work and she kicks our asses that’s fine, but we at least have to try! I mean come on Rhae you told me that she cries over him still! And he’s no better. There might not be tears but he’s so long winded and mopey”

He then sighed, patting Luke on the back “I think this is our best shot. I mean c’mon they’re some of your guys' closest friends, and Winterfell over there’s my best friend that I’m not related to-oddly enough they’re pretty rare these days. They used to be so happy together! Now look at them both”

Baela sighed, nodding her head as she finally set the books in her hands down “she’s definitely not really herself anymore. Maybe if it doesn’t work, then at least they’ll both get closure from their relationship”.

Aegon smiled, nodding rapidly again “see! You guys get it!. Also don’t tell Aemond either, y’know he’s too ‘I’ve got a stick up my ass’ sometimes. We can call it operation-uh what’s the book trope that Helaena called it again-one second everyone!” he paused, grabbing his phone from his pocket before quickly calling his sister.

“Hey Hel, yeah yeah I’m good, what did you call that book again! The one where they were like forced to be around eachother then fuck it out and get married and shit?” 

Several hundred miles away, Helaena was grasping her nose bridge as she let out a deep sigh, her brother truly was a character.

“Oh-okay! Got it-thanks so much Hel, love you too! Give Daeron my love and remind him to wrap it up with those Dornish baddies!” with that he hung up the phone before meeting Baela’s disgusted glare.

“You’re so gross, Aeg. And stop saying the word baddies-you sound so cringey!” he simply shrugged at her.

“Anyways, now that we’re done being rude and judgemental to our baddie eldest cousin who’s super smart, funny, and beautiful, we’ll call it operation enemies to lovers!” 

Rhaena raised a brow “wouldn’t it actually be exes to lovers? Since they’re exes? I guess they might also be enemies based on the way she wants to wring his neck-and not how she used to-” with that her eyes widened as she slapped a hand over her mouth.

Jace sighed “don’t worry Rhae, we already know about the shit he let her do to him. Young love, what can I say” 

Aegon nodded his head, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively once again, then he slightly elbowed Luke, who met his gaze with a laugh before they both spoke in unison “kinky innit”.

“Anyways-are we doing this or not? I’ve got a history midterm to study for and you three are interrupting it, and it’s bad enough that Aegon already made the smartest person we know leave” It was clear that Baela was losing her patience.

“Oh come on Bales! Y’know if you’re still interested I can set you up with ol Benji over there, heard he’s a freak in the she-” there it was, the book smacking him in the face “-ow Baela! Jesus! You’re just like your dad! Mean and ever so beautiful to look at” he winked.

“Gross man, she’s our cousin!” he shrugged “didn’t stop our ancestors, okay fine-fine! I didn’t mean it okay! Shit. you all are so violent. The blood of the dragon I guess”.

-

Three days have passed and the TarVelTower group chat had been in constant communication about ‘operation exemies to lovers’ with the additional confused replies from those that were not present in the library that day.

They were planning a game night, it was something they’d all done in the past, inviting their other friends to come along as well for drinks and a night of utter tomfoolery. Baela and Rhaena had done everything but swear on the Old Gods themselves that Cregan wouldn’t be there, meanwhile Jace, Luke, and Aegon had to practically beg Cregan to come to Jace’s for the game night.

It was also a plus that most of them lived in the same building. Dragonstone University wasn’t that large, not compared to other schools such as Sunspear, Driftmark, or even Harrenhall-although it was rumored that Harrenhal U was in fact haunted, that’s probably what brought so many to the school in the first place.

Baela and Rhaena had to drag you out of your bed after your post-class nap and usher you into the shower, stating that you ‘stunk of outside’, which was rather rude considering your only classes today were virtual. 

They’d mentioned the game night several times, and each time you asked if Cregan would be there, they’d said no, which you found a bit odd considering Jace was literally his best friend and probably closest confidant. Maybe his father had come down from Winterfell again, but you were thankful that he wouldn’t be present to ruin your mood.

All you had to do was take the elevator up two floors, so all you did was shower and throw on a pair of sweats and one of Aegon’s many discarded team sweatshirts. It had his number on it and even after washing it what felt like a million times, it still smelled like his overly strong cologne that he claimed ‘the ladies love’.

He’d also told you that maybe you were an ogre for not loving it, which of course even further solidified your friendship with the moron (lovingly).

You took time to braid your hair, knowing that you’d probably wake up hungover without a want or a need to brush it, so this was just easier. Then you’d foregone makeup, knowing you truly didn’t care how people saw you, especially not your friends. 

Of course the one thing you’d always contemplated wearing sat on your desk, the thin gold chain adorned with a small charm in the shape of a howling wolf. It was as if it sat mocking you because almost everyday you’d stare at it while getting ready.

You’d worn it everyday for a year after Cregan gifted it to you. He randomly showed up at your door one day, slightly out of breath, a wide smile on his face with his disheveled hair pulled back. One hand rubbed against his short beard, while the other held a small black gift bag. He looked as if he’d run here, then was contemplating the decision to run in the first place.

Then he’d kissed you gently, a smile you rarely wore now, adorned your face then.

When you invited him in, he was quick to follow, shutting and locking your door behind him while you made your way to the small kitchen, grabbing him something to drink as he caught his breath.

Then as you spun around to hand him the drink, he held the bag out for you, practically forcing you to open it (it wasn’t forceful at all, rather when you declined opening it immediately, he didn’t hesitate to place the strings of the bag between his teeth before picking you up, then plopping you down onto the couch, soft giggles leaving your lips when he climbed right on top of you.).

You remembered him watching as you opened it, he held himself up overtop you, while you easily pulled the small jewelry box out of the packaging, then when you opened it he looked almost nervous, as if you wouldn’t like it.

But you’d kissed him, pulling him down into your lips, thanking him between rushed kisses. 

You shook your head, snapping yourself out of it before grasping the necklace and shoving it into one of your desk drawers. Out of sight, out of mind, you’d tell yourself-until you’d go looking for a pen and see it again.

Rhaena’s voice knocked you out of your thoughts completely, she stood in your doorframe, her posture a little too straight, which would’ve normally thrown you off, but you couldn’t focus on that, not when you were trying to shake off the feeling of heartbreak.

“You ready? I’ve got the snacks already packed to bring up, you’ve just got to grab our blankets. Baela’s already there helping set up. Aeg said he’d give her twenty bucks if she’d actually arrive earlier than him for once” you laughed at that, shaking your head slightly.

It was no secret that Aegon and Baela were incredibly competitive, and as cousins, they had what could only be described as a sibling rivalry, always trying to one up one another when they could, and making stupid bets over random things.

You actually liked that they were all so close, when you’d befriended Rhaena, you never thought that she and her sister would come with a large family that would welcome you in with open arms.

“Yeah, just, let me-um-get my shoes, yeah my shoes. Sorry” you were mumbling and stuttering as you walked to the shoe rack beside your door, slipping your feet into your fuzzy slippers before following Rhaena to the living room, grasping the small pile of throw blankets before the both of you left your apartment. She was quick to lock the door, then you both headed upstairs.

You were still technically early when you arrived, and as you entered the apartment Aegon was handing Baela a $20 bill, while she smirked. Luke was laying on one of the couches on his phone, Jace was putting drinks in the fridge with the help of Benji who honestly looked happy to be there. Meanwhile Aemond sat reading whatever random philosophical book he’d chosen for the week, and to your surprise, Helaena was pulling what smelled like cookies out of the oven.

“Hel! You’re here!” she smiled when she saw you, placing the tray down before meeting your embrace. “Yea, I actually was visiting my parents and Aegon picked me up earlier.” you smiled at that, you enjoyed her company, even if it was a rare occurrence. 

By the time everyone was settled in, around forty-five minutes had passed, and everything was nice. For the first time in a while you weren’t on edge, which was definitely noticeable, and you’d actually managed to relax into the large bean bag below you. Even if it did remind you of a certain someone.

Then, it was as if you’d summoned the asshole himself.

Jace was quick to shoot up and walk to the door, glancing at his phone nervously. Then he opened the door, nervously laughing for a few moments.

Then you spotted him. Not before Aegon, who was already tipsy, had managed to shoot up from his spot on the ground “Cregan! Glad you could make it man!”.

Baela and Rhaena watched as you let out a deep sigh, it was clear you didn’t want to ruin the night, so you simply turned to face away from the door, burying yourself further into the bean bag, covering yourself in the throw blanket as much as you could.

It’s important to mention that the bean bag happened to be big enough for two people, and for a long time, it’s where you would sit with Cregan, well technically, given his size, you’d be cuddled up together, and now, as his gaze found you ignoring him on that bean bag, the gloomy cloud that followed him around had resurfaced.’

After a few tense moments of silence, everyone commenced what they were doing.

Aegon, still standing, held up a deck of cards.

“For today’s game night we’re gonna need to partner up! Rhaena, you’re with me tonight! I need your smarticle particles!” you blinked slowly, Rhaena was usually your partner. Then you sat in silence as you watched everyone partner up.

Baela was shoved into Benji-literally shoved by Aegon. 

Aemond chose Luke as he stated their team needed “balance”, which actually made a lot of sense considering Aemond was always somewhat brooding, and Luke was a ray of sunshine.

Jace glanced between Helaena and Cregan, but when Baela shot him a pointed look-missed completely by you-he chose Helaena.

Which of course left you with the one person you wanted nothing to do with.

Rhaena tried breaking the ice, watching as Cregan awkwardly sat in the armchair beside the beanbag. “It looks like our old winning team is back together!” you were the first to scoff.

“Hey! They used to cheat!” you couldn’t stop yourself from responding to Aegon “actually he waited until we broke up for that”. As you spoke, everyone’s eyes widened, meanwhile you remained in your spot, staring at your phone, mindlessly scrolling through instagram.

However, as good of a guy that Cregan Stark is, you were the only person that was ever able to bring a different side out of him. You two rarely fought, but when you did, it was almost catastrophic and usually ended in very rough sex, or a heartwarming apology after ignoring one another for a few days. 

But you’d never broken up, you both took time to cool off in whatever way you needed.

Things are different now.

“For the last time, she came onto me! I’ve told you this thousands of times!” As he raised his voice, the frustration in his tone was evident, and his accent sounded thicker than usual-a key indicator that he was upset. So instead of backing down, you scoffed, now looking at him, fury evident on your features. 

“Yeah because a man your fucking size was so easily overpowered by her right! She just waltzed right up to you and beat you into submission or something?! Oh fuck you Cregan!” 

The two of you held eye contact, anger and frustration evident.

Aegon slowly sat down, leaning towards Jace and whispering “I think it’s working”, meanwhile Jace shook his head, having been witness to the few fights that you’d actually had with Cregan in the past.

“What would you have wanted me to do, I was shitfaced! Was I supposed to shove her to the ground and tell her to go fuck herself?!” you nodded your head at that, now sitting up, even closer to him than before. He stared down at you as you stared up at him.

“Yeah actually, that’s the best fucking idea I’d say you’ve ever had!” he scoffed.

“We weren’t even together and you hold that against me! Still!” That's what sent you over the edge.

“You fucking dumped me for no god damn reason, told me you loved me, and then went and fucked that Blackwood Bitch! The same fucking day! As if I meant nothing to you, we were together for two years Cregan! Two fucking years!” 

He heard the crack in your voice, everyone did. As you stared at him, he could see the way your eyes glossed over, he knew you too well. He knew the tears were coming.

“I tried to talk to you-you didn’t wanna hear anything!” you shrugged, gathering your things as fast as you possibly could, now looking anywhere but him.

“You don’t fucking deserve to talk to me you asshole”. Then you stood up and did what you always do in these situations, you ran away and left.

He was left there in shock, staring at the door, jaw clenched while he watched you leave. 

“Well that’s one way to start a game night” 

“Aegon shut up!” cue the smack “Ow! Baela! Stop hitting me! Go hit Benji, he likes that shit!-ow! Seriously?! Jace and Luke, get your cousin!”

Then in unison “she’s your cousin too!”

And finally, Benji piped up “is she talking about my cousin?” 

Instead of watching you waltz away, Cregan stood up, grabbing his things and mumbling his own apologies. Then he left, he knew exactly where you lived, so instead of taking the elevator, he rushed down the stairs, trying to cool off. 

When he stood in front of your door, it felt like a routine, something his body was so used to. As if this was muscle memory for him.

Then he knocked, once. No response. 

Twice. Nothing. 

Three times-maybe third times a charm. Nothing.

He stood there, his forehead leaned against the door. Cregan Stark was not a man of regrets, hell he prided himself on actually being a good guy, he was raised to be respectful, to be kind, to be strong, Stark men were not assholes. They weren’t childish, they weren’t selfish, they were supposed to be honorable in every way.

But here he is, leaning against his ex-girlfriend’s door, still in love with her, full of regret for ever breaking things off. He hadn’t even explained himself. He wanted to-he’d tried that day, but you stormed out, tears that he’d caused flowing down your cheeks. 

Then he felt the door shift, and you stood there, wrapped in the same blanket, eyes red as you stared up at him.

Gods, all he wanted to do was tell you he loved you, that he needed you, that you made him feel whole.

“I don’t have any fight left in me Cregan. It’s been months, why can’t you just leave me alone.” 

“Because I love you.” you sighed, shaking your head “no you don’t. If you loved me you wouldn’t have left me.” 

Sure you might’ve been being dramatic, but truthfully, you’d been heartbroken for months, following your breakup you’d lost ten pounds in two weeks. You’d never felt worse, and now, you were starting to feel alright, but it was no secret that there had been many nights full of tears, hugging a sweatshirt that you’d never washed, hoping to preserve the smell of his cologne.

“Can you just fucking listen to me for five minutes, please, I’ve been trying to talk to you for so long, just please-let me talk to you” you shrugged.

“Why?” he blinked a few times, taking a deep breath, running a hand through his hair-hair that you used to always touch, forcing him to sit between your thighs while you braid his hair, laughing when he’d complain, or when he’d do poses for you after you’d finished.

“I love you, I’ve never stopped loving you, I go to sleep at night and my dreams are filled with you, your smile, your laugh, even your fucking frowns. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything. My heart fucking yearns for you. I can still feel the way you used to hold me, the way your breath felt against my neck, Gods, I think about you 24/7! I think about everything that I did, the way that I screwed up-I screwed us up. I love you! I’ll scream it from the fucking rooftops if that’s what you want!” 

You didn’t bother wiping away your tears, instead you stepped aside, leaving room for him to come in.

“You want to talk then talk.”

Then he walked inside, and shut the door the same way he used to. 

It truly was muscle memory, the way he walked to the couch and sat down in the same spot he was always in, then he waited for you.

He watched as you slowly sat next to him, still wrapped in a blanket like a sad burrito-Gods he spent too much time around Aegon. He didn’t hesitate to wipe the tears from under one of your eyes with his thumb, repeating the action on the other cheek.

“I didn’t want to break up with you. I never wanted to break up with you. My father’s-well he’s sick at home, I was going to leave, go back to Winterfell to take care of him, to take care of everyone. I just-I didn’t want you to be alone here, and I didn’t want to be your long distance boyfriend that you only ever see on fucking facetime. I just-I couldn’t do it.” 

You were silent, watching as he broke slightly, his voice cracking at the mention of his father, then at the mention of you being alone. 

It was no secret that Cregan and his father were close, you’d met Rickon Stark twice, and each time he’d embraced you with open arms and a warm heart. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he shrugged.

“Because, I’m supposed to be strong, I’m supposed to know my duty to my family, I’m supposed to be there for them, and it was hard-hard to say that I had to leave you for an unknown amount of time. I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to go a day without seeing you, you make me crazy in the best way, even now, whenever I see you on campus my heart practically flies out of my chest. Seeing you at my games, you’re like a ghost haunting me.” 

You slowly nodded, listening to him, watching the way he’d blink away his tears, the way his brows would furrow and jaw would clench slightly. 

“My dad’s the one who told me to stay. Told me not to throw my future away, that he’d be alright, y’know he’s a fighter-always has been. Told me to get my girl back-” he let out a small chuckle, the laugh laced in sadness “-but I think she doesn’t want me back. I went back up after we split up, just for a week, and he told me I was an idiot to leave it all behind. A full ride to Uni if I kept playing hockey? The girl of my dreams? Called me a bloke before he told me that he’s okay, he’s not letting go anytime soon” 

Cregan hadn’t been looking at you, he was focused on his hands, fists clenching slightly as he tried to swallow his own emotions. He hadn’t noticed the way that you’d been inching closer, not until your arms were wrapped around him, head leaning against his shoulder.

“You could’ve just told me from the beginning. I would’ve been your facetime girlfriend y’know? Would’ve figured out a way up there”

The familiarity of it all was what made him break, a small sob leaving his lips while you held him. It didn’t take long for you to shove him further into the couch and climb into his lap, the same way you used to when all you wanted to do was be as close to him as possible.

You held him, sat atop one of his thighs, arms wrapped around his shoulders while he cried into your shoulder. His arms gripping your waist, holding you against him. 

This is what should’ve happened all those months ago.

“I’m sorry for being a bitch” he laughed at that, and you felt his small smile. Meanwhile you ran a hand through his hair, fingers dancing through the dark locks before slowly running against his scalp. Your other hand traced small circles against his shoulder blade, you missed this.

You missed him.

“You weren’t a bitch-I probably deserved that.” you scoffed, moving back slightly, now holding eye contact with him as you brushed his tears away. “I was a bitch, I was the biggest bitch ever.”

He smiled, shaking his head “She really did come onto me. I did push her off-” you shushed him “I know. I believe you, I just-I dunno. I was hurt, then I saw that and it just stayed with me. I figured you dumped me for someone else, someone better-” he cut you off with a kiss.

It was so gentle, so soft, so sweet. Then he pulled away “there’s no one better than you for me. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest. I just-I didn’t want to look weak and I didn’t want to leave you and-” you shushed him again, this time holding a hand against his mouth.

“Shut the fuck up Cregan Stark.” Your tone was light hearted as you shook your head “You’re not weak for having emotions, and you aren’t weak for wanting to care for those that you love. Don’t be stupid, we’ve both been stupid enough.” he nodded his head, then you slid her hand down, now caressing his face, your thumb lightly pulling on his bottom lip.

“I missed you” you smiled, a small giggle leaving your lips.

“Based on the way you stare, I could tell” he rolled his eyes “gotta commit your beauty to memory somehow” you slightly shoved his shoulder “you cornball!” 

“I missed you too loverboy”

Then you kissed him again, a slow, passionate kiss full of emotions, smiles, and even a few giggles. He then slid his hands under your sweatshirt, and you quickly pulled apart, letting him take it off, leaving you in just your bralette, then his lips were on yours again.

Before anything else could happen the front door swung open, startling you both, leading to Cregan’s grip against you tightening, meanwhile Aegon and Jace both hit the floor, while Luke stood there awkwardly, Rhaena shook her head, and Baela looked as if she was being held back by Benji. Meanwhile Helaena and Aemond were nowhere to be seen.

At least until they moved closer to the doorway, both of them shaking their heads and muttering “fucking Aegon” in unison.

“I told you guys it would work! Look at them! Kissing and close!” Aegon still spoke, even from the floor while Jace was on top of him. Then Jace slowly rolled off, letting out an ‘oof’. 

“Were you all eavesdropping?” Aegon blinked a few times at your question, glancing back at everyone else. Then you noticed the flush on Luke’s face and Rhaena’s awkward expression. Plus Jace was nodding his head. 

“Why did the Gods make him our brother?” Aemond shook his head “I truly do not know.” 

“So are you two back together now?” 

You sighed, standing up and grasping Cregan’s hand, pulling him towards your bedroom.

Cregan glanced back, still laughing at the scene “yes. Now please, fuck off mate”

With that you pulled him into your room and locked the door.

“They’re all the worst” he nodded his head at you, he’d expected you to pull him into your bed, however you walked towards your desk, rummaging through the different drawers until you found something. 

You glanced at him “can you help me with this”, while holding up the necklace.

“I’d be honored” you rolled your eyes, a bright smile on your face while he walked over, taking the necklace then as gently as possible, clasping it around your neck. Then he left a line of open mouthed kisses from below your right ear, to the edge of your shoulder. 

“I love you” his voice was soft, a whisper, almost as if it was a secret shared between the both of you.

You smiled, spinning around, one hand now on his face, the other on the back of his neck, fingers tracing circles through his hair. “I love you too”

-

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A Family Gathering- Part 2

Thank you all for the amazing feedback on my Eddie Diaz imagine, I hope you will all like this next part.

Let me know what you think.

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Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Part 1

Prequel

Summary: (Y/n) and Eddie are close to their due date with their twins. But when they go to a family meal with her siblings and parents, it doesn't go as planned and family secrets are revealed.

(Reader is Buck and Maddie's sister)

Enjoy.

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(Y/n) clenched her hand around her brother's bicep and gave a sharp tug to try and get him to listen to her words. "Take me home." She gave his arm a little shake like she was trying to make her words sink in.

"Okay, okay just take a minute-"

"Home." Her nails scratched into his skin while she pulled on his arm when she tried to move.

She wasn't staying here any longer. She wasn't staying in that apartment or standing out here in the hallway. She was going home to be with the family she chose. She was going home to get away from the family that hurt her and her brother.

Tears continued to drench her face and her lips kept curling and pulling down into a broken frown, desperate to continue crying. Her chest was quaking with sobs she was holding in, desperate to release but she couldn't. Not here. Not now and risk Maddie or their parents coming out and try to stop them all from leaving.

Her body twisted to the right and she let her shoulder slump against the wall, closing her eyes to draw in a deep breath in an attempt to settle her system again. She let her weight shuffle against the wall and did her best to move forward until Eddie was suddenly stood in front of her, blocking her path while his hands found her hips.

"Baby, stop. Just for a minute, please." Eddie's fingers pressed into her hips like he was trying to mould her out of clay and make an imprint of his hands on her body forever.

He helped her lean up off the wall and he didn't say anything when she gripped his forearms and pushed some of her weight onto him. He kept her upright while she felt Buck hovering behind her with his hand on her shoulder and his eyes rapidly looking between the couple, waiting for answers.

"Take a breath," His voice softened and one hand moved up to swipe his thumb across her chin while his head tilted down so they were level and looking at one another.

(Y/n) nodded, gripping his arms tighter as she leaned into his touch and tried to copy his breathing. Panicking and getting worked up wasn't going to do them any favours right now. But she just wanted to leave. She wanted to be as far away from her parents as possible. She wanted to be somewhere that she felt safe and protected and not like her whole life had been a lie and that her purpose hadn't been served.

"Alright, where are the pains and how bad are they?" Eddie's voice was oddly calm, despite the raging emotions plastered across his face. He was always easy to read. His eyes were dragging up and down her frame, noticing every slight movement she made, how she shifted from foot to foot, how she leaned forward. The way she tried to hold her breath and keep it for a few seconds to calm herself down.

"It's easing now," (Y/n) panted through her words as she took one of Eddie's hands and moved it down her stomach where the tension was starting to loosen like an elastic band that had been pulled and then let go.

She stayed still as Eddie moved his hand around her stomach, focusing on the way his jaw clicked from side to side and he arched a brow.

"I'll bet it's contractions." His hand left her stomach to run across his jaw and the hints of stubble kissing his skin.

He couldn't see it being anything else when (Y/n) was so close to her due date, closer than they expected to be with twins. They had been waiting for this to happen for weeks now, they had all been on red alert. All the team were ready for (Y/n) to call in and say she was in labour so they could send Eddie home and pick up his shifts for him.

At least it was happening now, while Eddie was off work and everyone was together. It just happened to be after a family argument.

"I w-wanna go home." (Y/n) repeated, looking between her husband and her brother until they both nodded. They had to go now while the contractions were just starting, before (Y/n)'s water broke and before the contractions became frequent.

They needed to go and tell Chris and get everything ready and get someone to babysit him so they could go to the hospital.

"Alright baby, let's go."

Arching her back out, (Y/n) clamped her hands down on the back of the sofa and leaned down until her forehead was pressed down against her arms. She could feel the sweat rolling down the back of her neck and her hair sticking to her temple and around the sides of her neck making her itch and squirm.

The shirt she had been wearing all evening was tossed on the floor somewhere, leaving her in her bra and maternity leggings which kept rolling further and further down her stomach.

Her nails scrunched up in the back of the sofa while a groan muffled through her clamped lips.

Once the pain rolled through her abdomen and shook down to her toes, (Y/n) flopped one arm down until her hand curled around her brother's shoulder. She wiggled her hips from side to side, trying to reduce the pain and get the stiffness to dissipate.

"H-how long was that?" She didn't bother to open her eyes, but she felt Buck lean his head back into the sofa so he could look up at her. His left hand came up to rub up and down her shoulder and arm soothingly while he propped his feet up on the coffee table.

"About thirteen minutes apart now. Almost there." Buck tried to smile up at his twin.

He had been timing the contractions since they came home and started to get everything sorted out. All three of them had been oddly calm up until this last hour when the pains got worse and they knew they would be heading to the hospital soon.

He had kept count of each contraction, noting how long they lasted and the time between each one. While Eddie grabbed their hospital bag and tried to sort everything out for Chris. Carla had since gone home after wishing them all the luck she could and making them promise to ring her once the girls were born.

The plan was for Buck to stay here and watch Chris for the night and then once the girls were born, he would bring Chris down to the hospital to see them.

"No wonder mum had a C-section with us." (Y/n) grumbled under her breath as she sank lower into the sofa and wriggled her hips around to see if it would do anything for the pain. Her back felt like it had been broken. She wanted to lie on the floor and click each column of her spine back into place, but she would never get up if she did that.

She felt Buck laugh and give her shoulder a squeeze as he nodded in agreement, they had always been reminded from a young age that their mum had to have a C-section with them.

That was starting to feel like an easier option than this, if (Y/n) didn't have the energy now to keep going through these contractions, how on Earth was she going to get through pushing two girls out?

Now though, after finding out about Daniel, (Y/n) couldn't help but wonder if their mum would of planned a C-section all along when she had her and Buck. She wondered if their birthday had been planned out and decided beforehand in order to give Daniel the best chance. A chance that clearly hadn't worked for him since he wasn't here anymore.

"That was only 'cos you got the cord around your neck."

She felt Buck let go of her shoulder so he could rub his hand up and down her arm and he tipped his head back on the sofa to look across at her.

"Do y-you think that will happen with them?"

Her hand dropped to cradle her stomach that felt like it was weighing her down to the floor as a spark of worry shot through her heart. Could something like that happen with her girls? Could that be happening right now and (Y/n) didn't know about it?

Their mum had had to have a C-section right away when they found out the cord was around (Y/n)'s neck causing both twins to be in distress. It was one of the reasons why (Y/n) had been kept in the hospital longer than Buck when they were born.

And now (Y/n) understood why their mum always made her seem like an inconvenience when she told them about their birth. Their mum had things on her mind. She had Maddie to look after and another sick child she was trying to nurse back to health, without the added stress of having twins who had to be born earlier than planned.

But that probably helped a little, being born early meant the doctors would of been able to harvest the stem cells and any blood they needed from the twins, for Daniel.

Did they take blood from the twins? Did they only take the stem cells from the umbilical cord? Or was that not enough? Had the twins donated to their brother when they were little and never known about it?

"Hey, that's not gonna happen." Buck's voice was stern but his expression was sincere with his eyes boring into hers like he was trying to see through to her soul. He could practically hear her overthinking. "You're all gonna be fine, and they'll have Eddie wrapped round their fingers."

His words calmed down one of the many worries running around in (Y/n)'s mind and she tried to nod and agree. Nothing had been wrong so far so there was no reason to start worrying now.

Her hands pressed down on the sofa again and she pushed herself up, locking her elbows to try and steady herself.

She continued to sway from left to right, hoping to ease the pain in her back and hips. A soft smile washed over her tense features when she saw a familiar mop of brown curls bouncing along, aiming her way.

Chris stood beside her and waited for (Y/n)'s sign of approval that he could reach out and wrap his arms around her.

When she turned to face him and slouched her left hip against the sofa, she opened her arms so Chris could give her a hug. He always had that cheesy smile on his face when he wanted a hug and he wouldn't meet her eyes, but his face said it all.

His arms locked around her and he pressed his face into her stomach, his curls tickling her bump since she wasn't wearing Eddie's shirt anymore. She looped her arm around the back of his neck and kissed his curls while Buck reached over and gave Chris's shoulder a light squeeze.

"Okay mum?"

"I'm good," She murmured into his hair, dragging her hand up and down his back and she smiled when she felt Chris kiss her stomach.

"Just you and me soon buddy, come find a film, we can stay up late." Buck was quite glad it was the weekend. He and Chris would be up well past midnight- not that Eddie or (Y/n) needed to know that- and they would be watching movies or documentaries with bowls of sweets surrounding them.

Buck loved when he and Chris got to spend time together and he couldn't wait to be able to take Chris and the girls out soon and proudly announce he had a nephew and two little nieces. Then when Maddie and Chimney had their girl, Buck would be overwhelmed with nieces to make his knees go weak and he would be desperate to babysit them all.

He could already see him, Maddie and (Y/n) going on days out with all the kids to the zoo or the park. And family dinners - without their parents- was going to get a lot more interesting and full of love.

Chris finally untangled himself from (Y/n) and moved to slump down on the sofa next to Buck, taking the remote so he could scour through for a film. While (Y/n) went back to leaning forward against the sofa since it was the only way she felt comfy.

Sitting down wasn't an option, she was in too much discomfort to sit and she didn't have the energy to pace anymore. Standing and swaying like this was her only option.

Her eyes watched the tv as Chris flicked through the channels, trying to find something worth watching. And her lips tried to curve into a smile when she felt a hand on the small of her back and a sudden pair of lips glued against the back of her neck.

She felt Eddie curve his chest over her back, muttering a quiet "Hi baby," into her skin before he reached his free hand over the sofa and tapped Buck's shoulder.

"Maddie's ringing me now, she must be worried. Here."

Maddie had tried calling both the twins but neither of them answered. They knew their parents would still be at Maddie and Chimney's apartment and they didn't want to speak to them. Chimney had tried calling Buck twice but he didn't answer. The pair of them were fine. They were with Eddie, nothing bad was going to happen and they were hardly going to go off the rails.

If (Y/n) wasn't pregnant or married to Eddie, if the twins got this news a few years ago, there would have been trouble. They would have been reckless, they would have gone out drinking or wandering the streets, wallowing in the news they had just been given. There would of been cause to panic.

But that wasn't the case. They were with Eddie, he kept them both level-headed and (Y/n) had too much pressing on her mind- and her pelvis- to be wallowing anymore.

It seemed best to try and pretend tonight hadn't happened and lock away the thoughts, questions and anger about Daniel. Feigning ignorance like Maddie and their parents had done for years, felt like the easiest option, just to get (Y/n) through this labour.

Once the girls were here, they could all talk and try to move past this.

"Pass her over." Buck sighed, reaching up for the phone. He had turned his own phone on silent and (Y/n) had left her phone in her bag near the front door.

They knew Maddie must be desperate and panicked if she was calling Eddie to try and find out if the twins were okay. And the last thing they needed was the other Buckley sister getting so pent up and nervous that she too went into labour from the stress of this evening.

"Hello?"

"Buck? Oh thank God. Are you okay? How's (Y/n)? I wish you all would of stayed, we want to talk, to explain-"

Buck groaned, running his hand up and down his face while his sister rambled in his ear and turned his brain to mush. She always was a panicker, much like Buck and (Y/n) were overthinkers.

"Mads stop panicking, we're good I swear. We haven't gone off the rails or gone out on a bender." That might not be strictly true, both of them weren't exactly okay, they were dumb struck and boggled and uneasy about all of this. But there wasn't cause for concern either.

"How's (Y/n)? I need to talk to her-"

"Nows not the best time… just give us 'til tomorrow-"

"No, Buck I need to talk to you both. I need to explain, we're all so sorry and we're worried."

He could hear the pain in her voice and he knew she had been crying. And the phone was loud enough that (Y/n) and Eddie could hear her too.

A pang shot through (Y/n)'s heart and she tipped her head down onto her forearms, arching her back out into Eddie. Her heart calmed down its erratic rhythm when Eddie bent over her, his hands on her hips and his mouth attached to the side of her neck to try and keep her calm.

"She's gone into labour. They're heading off soon and I'm staying here with Chris, I swear I'll call you when I hear anything."

Buck nodded to himself, hummed and muttered a soft 'love you too' before he hung up and handed the phone back to Eddie. His mind was exhausted from tonight but he was also running on overdrive. He wouldn't be sleeping tonight, he could feel it.

"Oow, a-another one." (Y/n) hissed, arching back into Eddie while her hand flapped down to alert Buck that she was getting another contraction.

She felt Eddie's hands move round to cup her stomach while he hummed against her neck, running his lips up and down her soft skin that was starting to become flushed. He could feel her shaking into him and she bent her knees until he was holding some of her weight up for her, not that he minded at all.

"Eddie…" Her nails scratched into the sofa, close to breaking through the material as her knees bent down and she felt like she was going to kneel down on the floor. She didn't know what to do with herself, she wanted to move but she didn't have the energy, but staying still didn't feel right either.

"You're okay, mi amor. Come on, sit on the chair, not the floor please." Eddie knew if (Y/n) crouched down here they would have a hard time getting her back up again.

His words caused both Buck and Chris to turn and look behind them over the shoulder. Watching as Eddie pulled (Y/n) back up so she didn't go down on her knees.

"You're down to ten minutes apart, it's time to go." Buck looked at his watch while he twisted and pushed up to look at his sister.

He could be accurate and tell her she was ten minutes and twenty-one seconds between contractions, but he didn't think the accuracy would help her right now. Ten minutes was their marker, once she hit that then it was time to go down to the hospital and have the girls.

(Y/n) could feel Eddie smiling against her shoulder. That was what he had been waiting to hear. He was no good at milling about the house, waiting and trying to keep busy until it was time to go. Especially when they didn't have an exact time for departing. Things would go swiftly when they got to the hospital.

"Alright, let's get you in the car." Buck's voice was soft but he couldn't keep the hint of excitement from his voice.

He pushed up from the sofa and moved round to the back to stand on (Y/n)'s other side while Chris leant up against the back of the sofa. He smiled at both parents, folding his arms near (Y/n)'s and resting his chin on his arms.

They had already told him what to expect. It would be another normal sleepover with Buck round at their place. The twins wouldn't be born until the morning at the least so Buck and Chris could try and get some sleep. And then Buck would take Chris down to the hospital as soon as Eddie called them to say the girls were here and okay.

Then when Chris went back to school on Monday, he could go and tell his friends and his teachers that his mum had finally had the twins. All the teachers had been asking after (Y/n) and his English teacher had asked Eddie four weeks ago if the twins had been born when Eddie had dropped Chris off quite a few times and no one had seen (Y/n). Finally, they would be born now.

"Wait, I- oow," (Y/n) leaned back into Eddie and let Buck take hold of her hands, but she shook her head.

Her knees bent down again and she tucked her chin down into her neck, snapping her eyes closed as shivers wracked down her body. She felt Eddie's arms tighten around her while he leaned his chest back a little so he could look her over and see why she was suddenly tensing up. Surely it couldn't be another contraction that quickly.

"Oh," Eddie's lips curved into a soft smile and he kissed the back of her head when he realised the reason. "Alright, maybe let's get changed before we go, hm?"

Her waters had finally broken.

***

A bright smile lit up Eddie's face and he pushed himself off the wall when he glanced down the corridor. His eyes locked onto the two faces he had been waiting around to see.

Pushing off the wall, he opened his arms and leaned down when Chris sped forward and barelled into his torso. His arms looped around his son and he kissed the top of his head, ruffling his curls while Chris clung to him and started to laugh. They had only seen each other last night, but it felt like a lifetime had passed since then.

It felt like days instead of hours since Chris had kissed his parents goodbye and watched from the window as Eddie and Buck helped (Y/n) into the car and his dad drove off. The night had dragged out while Chris and Buck watched two movies and ate their weight in popcorn, and then Chris couldn't sleep. He just wanted the night to go by quickly like it was Christmas Eve and he was desperate for morning to break so he could delve into his presents.

And Eddie felt like he had been here at the hospital for over a hundred hours. His body was burning from lack of sleep but he felt like his batteries had been fully charged and he could go for days running off this adrenaline high.

His hands were aching, his arms suddenly felt empty and his body was about to be overcome with shaking, but he felt better now Chris and Buck were here.

"Hey! You okay?" His voice was muffled in Chris's hair before Chris pulled back and pressed his chin into Eddie's chest so he could look up at him.

"Yeah, is mum okay? The girls are here now?"

He could see the light sparkling in Chris's eyes and he was practically bouncing up and down like he was charged on rocket fuel, waiting for lift off. He had woken Buck up extra early this morning, desperate to be told that his mum had had the girls and they could go down and visit. He had bounced off the walls waiting for Eddie to ring and finally, just after nine o'clock, Eddie gave them both the news they had been waiting for.

"Your mum's doing great, they're all okay and waiting for you. Go say hi."

Uncurling one arm from Chris, Eddie gave the door a nudge and motioned for Chris to head on inside. He could have a minute or two alone with (Y/n) and the girls while Eddie and Buck talked.

"All went well then, no problems?" The smile on Buck's face was as giddy as ever and his hands were jittering up and down against his thighs. He knew if something had been wrong, Eddie would have said over the phone, but he couldn't help the spark of worry he felt.

Buck had been praying for this to go well ever since (Y/n) told them she was pregnant again. He couldn't see his sister go through the turmoil again like when she had her miscarriage. He knew she and Eddie wanted this, to have a family together, desperately.

"Yep, no problems, except I think she might have popped a knuckle in the process." Eddie shook his left hand to signal his point.

Eddie had been apprehensive. His experience with Shannon during Chris's birth had been smooth sailing right up until he got stuck and Eddie didn't want to see that happening to (Y/n), especially since they were having twins. But everything had gone smoothly, so smoothly in fact that Eddie felt like he was still waiting for something to go wrong. It felt like they were having too much good luck.

But all three of his girls were doing great, the only issue was his index finger and his knuckle that was throbbing from how tightly (Y/n) had deadlocked his hand in her grip. At one point, Eddie felt his knuckle crack and he couldn't be sure if she had popped it out of place or just clicked the joint.

"So you're a girl dad now, huh? When Chim and Maddie have their girl that's three to one. You're next one needs to be a boy, even the score a bit." He reached out to pat Eddie's shoulder and he grinned when his brother in law let out a loud laugh.

"What makes you think the next kid in this family will be ours again and not yours or Chim again?"

As much as Eddie could see Buck being a family man and wanting kids of his own, that might not be happening for a while. He wasn't in a stable relationship right now to think about having kids. But it did entertain Eddie that his brother clearly thought he and (Y/n) would be the next ones to have another kid.

Eddie would want another kid, he could see them having a big family and it was something they had talked about a few times. But they'd just had two kids at once, they wouldn't be thinking about another baby for a while. It might well be Chimney and Maddie having another kid before Eddie and (Y/n), or Buck could find himself in a stable relationship and having a kid before them.

"Because you're the one who gets baby fever."

A playful sigh parted through Eddie's lips and he nodded while he rolled his eyes. Valid point. He wouldn't argue it any further, this wasn't a topic he needed to think about when his daughters had just been born two hours ago.

He stretched his hand out towards the door, about to push it open so they could head inside, but he stopped when his gaze darted down the corridor.

His lips twitched like he wanted to smile, but he couldn't find the will. Not when his eyes glanced past Maddie and saw two people he didn't want to be around anymore. Phillip and Margaret.

They shouldn't be here.

It had taken Buck and Eddie over an hour to calm (Y/n) down when they got home last night. She had been distraught about the bombshell that dropped over dinner last night and she didn't want to think or talk to or be around her parents. She wanted them to stay as far away from her and Buck as possible because the twins were better off away from their parents.

This was a happy occasion, this was a day to be celebrating. Eddie didn't want them here chiding at (Y/n) or putting her down or making her feel uncomfortable. After everything she had been through, she deserved to be happy and stress free, especially today.

"Hi, how is everyone? Chim's had to go on shift but he's definitely coming by after work. Can I…?" Maddie rubbed her hands together and pointed towards the room.

She would never barge in if she wasn't welcome and she hadn't spoken to her sister since dinner last night. She wouldn't want to go in and ruin a sweet family moment or upset (Y/n), she would rather go home than risk distressing her younger sister.

But tears welled up in her eyes and she sighed when Eddie's lips curved into a smile and his hand gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Of course you can."

He knew the twins had already forgiven Maddie. They had most likely forgiven her before they got home last night. They weren't happy she had kept this secret. She could of told them when they were older, when they moved out or the countless times they asked why their parents were so cruel and distant and uncaring towards them. But they were starting to see things from Maddie's point of view and understand why she didn't.

And she had raised them, they couldn't do anything but forgive Maddie who had become their mother over the years. They found it easy to forgive her, but their parents wouldn't be so easily forgiven.

"Are we okay?" Her hand reached out for Buck but she was taken by surprise when he reached out and deadlocked his arms around her. He reeled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head. His hand rubbed up and down her back as he smiled and murmured a soft "We're fine," into her hair.

He pushed open the door and let Maddie walk in ahead of them. It was clear that Maddie had turned up separate from her parents. She wasn't waiting for them, she wasn't talking or acknowledging them. After all they had said and done last night, Maddie was saying bare minimum to them and it wouldn't be her place to argue with them today, right here.

She wanted to see her sister and her nieces, whether their parents were allowed in was up to Eddie and (Y/n).

Once she was inside, Buck shut the door and turned to face his parents. He didn't want (Y/n) knowing they were here, he didn't want anyone or anything to upset his sister today.

"I think the room's at maximum capacity now." He couldn't find it in himself to smile. They weren't forgiven yet and Buck wasn't happy to be stood so close to them. He didn't want to be around them after all the problems they had caused and how badly they had traumatised both Buck and (Y/n) over the years. And now the twins knew why, it just made them want to retreat away even further.

Buck knew he was speaking on his sister's behalf, he knew (Y/n) wouldn't want them here. And he couldn't go inside and leave Eddie stood out here talking to them, not unless he wanted to risk a fight breaking out.

Eddie had no patience with his in-laws anymore. He would be blunt, crude and down-right dismissive to them if he wanted, and he wasn't past the point of swearing or possibly becoming physical if the occasion called for it. Buck felt like he had to stay in case he had to guide Eddie back into the room so he didn't get himself kicked out of the hospital.

"Evan… Eddie, it's our granddaughters," Margaret clasped her hands together in front of her and leaned into Phillip as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

The way they smiled was desperate, they wanted to be given another chance, but it was becoming apparent that they weren't going to get one.

Buck and (Y/n) had given them so many chances over the years and they were tired. Buck was tired of hurting himself to get their attention. (Y/n) was tired of screaming and shouting and never being heard. They were both done with being dismissed and ignored and treated like they weren't part of the family or that they were disposable.

They hadn't made it a priority to come down to LA when Buck had his leg crushed by the fire truck and went through five operations. They didn't come down when (Y/n) was in turmoil after Eddie got shot.

And they only came down after (Y/n)'s miscarriage because Maddie told them to show some respect for their daughter and see how she was doing. That had been a mistake everyone regretted.

The Buckley parents weren't needed here anymore and they weren't wanted, the twins were loved and cared for by the family they chose at the 118.

"If you wait three months, the granddaughter you're most bothered about will be here." The snide tone couldn't be hidden from Eddie's voice while he folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall.

He had always seen how Maddie was prioritised over the twins, over (Y/n). She was the preferred and loved daughter and it bugged Eddie, especially because Maddie never acted on it or seemed spoiled or like she wanted their attention. It was irritating.

Eddie had to watch the Buckley parents barely pay (Y/n) any attention when she told them she was engaged. He saw how they weren't so interested when Maddie told them (Y/n) was pregnant, they couldn't of cared any less. And when she lost the baby, it was as if they could hit a reset button and forget.

When (Y/n) told them that she was pregnant again, they were responsive, but only mildly. Congratulations, that's sweet, when are you due? That was the most (Y/n) got over the phone.

But when Maddie announced she was pregnant, oh the world lit up and Eddie despised them for it. he despised that (Y/n) had to seek that love and joy from Eddie's parents instead of her own.

When they told Eddie's parents, they were so thrilled. When they lost the baby, Eddie's parents came down for a week to stay with them and his mum was so good comforting and trying to comfort (Y/n) and make her feel understood and loved. After telling them about the twins, his parents were always on the phone, asking how they were and wanting to visit.

And now his parents were coming down in two days to stay for a week to see the twins and be with their family.

"Eddie, please we don't want to fight-"

"Good, neither do we. You've barely bothered with (Y/n) since she got pregnant, this is the first time we've seen you since telling you and look how that ended, you stressed her into labour. Not to mention you were fucking rude to her about near enough everything, and you brought up her miscarriage."

Eddie could feel his blood starting to boil over and he curled his hands into fists at his sides to try and calm himself down.

He didn't need to start a fight. He didn't need to cause an argument or make this into a big thing. He just needed them to understand that they weren't wanted nor welcome here right now and they had to go now.

"You're not going in there and upsetting her today." His voice calmed down and his lips almost curved into a smile as he took a deep breath and lowered his tone.

He felt Buck's hand on his shoulder, turning him towards the door so they could both head inside and leave this dreaded conversation dead and buried out here.

"She doesn't want to see you yet, and neither do I." Buck couldn't bring himself to look at his parents. His hand tightened on Eddie's shoulder and he gave him a nudge until the pair of them were walking through the door. And he used his heel to kick the door shut behind them, making it clear that his parents were not invited for this family moment.

"There you are, what were you two doing?"

The grin that spread across (Y/n)'s face was enough to have Buck smiling in return and had Eddie's heart jumping up into his throat.

"Just talking."

Eddie danced his eyes around the room, taking in the sight of his family as he moved to sit down on the bed. He sank down next to (Y/n) and looped his arm around the back of her shoulders so he could tuck her into his chest. Her arms immediately looped around his chest and her face smothered into his shoulder while she felt wet kisses being pressed against her temple.

She had Eddie sat next to her, Maddie perched on the side of the bed next to her knees, and Chris was sat in the chair beside the bed. It left one more chair vacant which Buck grabbed and dragged over so he was next to Eddie.

"Come on then, introduce me." Buck smiled and leaned his elbows on his thighs so he could lean over and try to take a look at the youngest set of twins in the room.

He could see one girl in Maddie's arms who the eldest sibling was cooing and smiling at, cradling her against her own bump. And Chris had his other sister in his arms, swaying from side to side as he grinned so brightly he could barely open his eyes.

"This is Isabella," (Y/n) unhooked one arm from Eddie so she could lean across and rest her hand on Maddie's wrist, indicating to the newborn she was cradling.

"And Chris has Sophia." Eddie cast his eyes across to the eldest who slowly tilted his arms so Buck could lean over to look at both twins.

"My turn, come to uncle Buck." He held his arms out expectingly while his big sister sighed and carefully eased the newborn over to him. It was only fair since she had already held both twins and Buck hadn't seen either of them yet. And Chris clearly wasn't giving up his other sister just yet.

His smile broadened when the little girl was in his embrace and he danced his fingertip across her cheek. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her until a sudden thought crossed his mind and he looked up, trying to look across at the other twin before he glanced across at Eddie.

"I almost forgot… are they identical?"

"Yep." (Y/n) relaxed back into Eddie, feeling a sudden wave of tiredness wash over her like she was being swept away in the ocean. This had been something she often worried about. Identical meant the possibility of getting them mixed up. It meant (Y/n) wanting to keep their hospital bracelets on them for a while longer when they got home to make sure she didn't switch them up.

She was glad they had bought some hats and onesies with S and I printed on them to make it easier to tell them apart. And neither twin had any birth marks to be able to help tell them apart.

"You owe me twenty." Buck muttered quietly, tapping Eddie's arm to remind him of the bet they made a few months back.

(Y/n) let herself sink down against Eddie's chest and when his other arm looped around her chest, (Y/n) latched both her hands around his bicep. She nuzzled her cheek into his shoulder, smiling when she felt his lips against the top of her head and he squeezed her into his chest.

This was their family, right here.

[mialikeshockey]

Luke is your older brother’s friend, and basically Luke has to pick you up from your soccer practice because your parents left out of town and your brother was on a date. Your brother ask Luke to pick you up….thats all I can think of. 🎀😞

girl I got you I got you

Do you know how to ball? - Luke Hughes

I finish doing my last drill for soccer practice. I kick my ball up to my bag and start taking off my shoes to put on my crocs. I grab my phone to see texts from my brother that he got a last minute date with this girl he’s been talking to for I don’t know how long.

I read the texts in my head and called him right away. “Are you kidding me? I’m literally done with practice, what do you mean that you can’t pick me up. Are you really picking a girl over your little sister, you actually are pissing me off.” I state grabbing my bag to start walking home.

“Ana, it was really last minute. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to upset you.” My brother states, I go to hang up and I hear his friend, Luke talking. “I’ll pick her up. I have to go by the field anyways.” I sigh and sit down on one of the benches.

“I’ll text you when I’m there Ana.” Luke says and I hang up. I hate when my brother does this, he constantly goes out on dates and forgets me. Not that I can’t drive, it’s just my car has been in the shop a lot due to a lot of things wrong with it.

I sit around for another twenty minutes, just scrolling on Pinterest and snapping people back on Snapchat. I get a text from Luke on Snapchat that he’s here. I stand up and grab my ball and my bag and head to his car.

“Thank you for picking me up, you really didn’t have to, I could’ve walked. Luke takes my bag from me and puts it in the backseat. “Anytime, kinda shitty on what your brother did. I can take you through somewhere if you’re hungry.”

“I don’t have my wallet with me, I left it my room this morning, I’ll be okay.” I pull out my phone and start texting my mom that I’m going home safe from soccer practice. “Don’t worry about it, I got you. Where do you feel like going?”

“Luke you really don’t have to do that, it’s okay. I’ll probably just eat when I get home.” Luke shakes his head. “Subway is right up the corner, what do you want from there and I will go in and get it. Text me your order so I get everything right, you can eat it in the car on your way home.” I smile at Luke. “Thank you.” I text Luke my order has we pull into subway and he walks in and gets my food.

Luke walks out with my food and hands me it. “Eat up beautiful, you look like you had a tiring practice.” I feel butterflies in my stomach as he hands me my food with a smile. His smile is contagious, it’s so perfect in so many different ways.

I eat my subway while Luke lets me play some songs from my playlist until we pull into my driveway. His house only being a couple houses down. “I’ll walk you to the door.” He grabs my bag and follows me to the door. “Thank you for all of this, you really didn’t have to do this.” I smile grabbing my bag from him. “You really don’t have to thank me. I’m always here.” He smiles, about to walk away, I can’t help myself but ask him.

“Can you stay, if you’re not like busy or anything. My parents are out of town and I kinda hate being home alone.” Luke smiles as I let him in the house. “Let me go change.” I state running up the stairs, as Luke sits on the couch. After about ten minutes I come downstairs in some comfortable clothes and I sit next to him on the couch, finishing the subway he bought me. “How good are you at soccer? Have you been playing long?”

I’ve been playing since I was a kid. I’ve always loved it, I guess im good at it but I don’t really have a big ego on it. Why, do you know how to ball, Mr all star hockey player.” Luke giggles, “Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” I ask him, he shakes his head and I turn on the tv and look through some movies until we agree on something.

Maybe my brother going out tonight wasn’t so bad after all.

——

credit to gif maker

[munson-blurbs]

Hi darling sister wife! I have a request for a bookworm!reader who always has her nose in a book and has a huge crush on Eddie, but thinks he doesn’t even know she’s alive. And maybe they run into each other somewhere in town and he’s like “oh hey y/n!” and she’s dumbfounded lol

Love youuuuu - @corroded-hellfire

Anything for you, bb 💚

Warnings: none, all fluff <3

WC: 3.8 k

--

There’s a lump in your throat as you approach the wooden door marked “DETENTION” in scolding letters. You’ve never been in trouble before, always keeping your head down and doing the right thing. 

But that was before you’d started reading The Handmaid’s Tale. You’d picked up the novel in the school library that morning, curious to see what all of the fuss was about. It was so gripping, so eerie, so chilling, that you didn’t want to put it down. And so you didn’t—you read it in the halls when walking between classes, during lunch as your friends talked about their prom dresses, even faking cramps during PE so you could sit on the bleachers and continue devouring Margaret Atwood’s words. None of that posed any issues. 

You were nearly finished with the entire book by the time last period rolled around. Mrs. Click was droning on and on about the Enlightenment and its influence on European culture. It wasn’t anything the textbook didn’t already explain. How bad would it be to quickly read the final chapter in an incredible book while she yammered about a continent you didn’t even live on?

As you soon discovered, it would be pretty bad. Mrs. Click marched over to you as you tried to hunch down inconspicuously. She plucked the book from your hands and frowned. “Tell me, Ms. Y/L/N,” she’d snapped, never breaking eye contact with you, “what makes you so special that you can select your own reading material during my class?”

You could only shake your head, heat rising in your cheeks. “‘M sorry, Mrs. Click,” you mumble. Other students snicker around you, and you hear someone whisper, “what a nerd.”

“Well,” your teacher starts, placing The Handmaid’s Tale on her already-cluttered desk, “maybe you can come up with a better answer after detention this afternoon.” You nodded dumbly, too humiliated to protest the punishment. 

The worst part? She never even gave you back the book. 

Fingers trembling, you push the door open and take a seat all the way in the back. You’re the only one there; maybe you can avoid any further embarrassment if it stays that way. You take out your math textbook and start on the first problem, barely able to concentrate. Detention. It shouldn’t be such a big deal, but you hate getting in trouble. Hate having people mad at you, even if that person is your uppity history teacher. It’s why you’re such a goody two-shoes, a people pleaser; you just want everything to be peaceful. 

“Honey, I’m home!” a familiar voice calls out. Your head snaps up to see Eddie Munson burst through the doorway. There’s a loose cigarette tucked behind his ear, almost completely covered by his mess of curly hair. His grin widens as he spots you. “Hey, Y/N! What brings you to my home away from home?”

Your mouth goes dry. Eddie Munson knows who you are? The handsome, charismatic, sometimes scary-seeming metalhead knows your name? You clear your throat when you realize he’s staring at you expectantly, waiting for a response. “Oh, um, nothing. Jus’ something stupid,” you manage, picking at your fingernails anxiously. 

“Yeah, well, I’m the king of doing stupid things, so, lay it on me.” He sits on top of the desk in front of you, leaning his forearms on his thighs. 

The blush creeps back up through your body. “I got busted in Click’s class for reading.”

Eddie furrows his brows in confusion. “Reading what?” he questions. “Like, a nudie magazine or somethin’? That happened to me once, and Click was pissed. Never did get that magazine back either. What a shame.” He tuts gently at the memory. 

“God, no!” You shake your head. “It was a book I was reading for fun. And not that kind of fun,” you add pointedly. “It was, um, The Handmaid’s Tale? The novel by Margaret Atwood?” It comes out as a question, and you could smack yourself for your timid disposition. “It’s about a group of women—the handmaids—who are essentially forced to be these birthing machines for their owners. Their entire worth is based on making healthy babies. And if they try to escape, the men of Gilead will hurt them.” Shut up, you scold yourself silently. He didn’t ask you for a damn book report. 

But Eddie looks intrigued. “Well, that’s no Playboy, but it sounds really good. I’ll have to read it when you’re done.”

“That might not be for awhile,” you reply somberly. “Much like your Playboy, my book has been confiscated, unlikely to ever be returned.”

Eddie smacks his palms on his knees, startling you, but he pays this no mind. “I’ll be right back,” he says. “If Higgins comes in, tell him I had to take a leak.” And with that, he’s out the door. 

What is going on? You thrum your fingers against the desk, considering your circumstances. You’re in detention with Eddie Munson, having a conversation about The Handmaid’s Tale. Never in your wildest dreams did you think this would happen. 

Eddie returns triumphantly. “Ta-da!” he exclaims, holding up the novel in his left hand. He places it on your desk and smiles. “Now you can finish it.”

“My hero,” you put your hand over your heart and grin back at him. Butterflies flutter in your stomach. “Like the Robin Hood of books.”

“Robin Hood, huh?” he smirks, sliding into the chair next to yours, “I’ll take it. Better nickname than ‘The Freak,’ anyway.”

You frown, averting your gaze as you say softly, “I never called you that. And I never thought you were a freak, either.”

“‘Course not,” Eddie chuckles, nudging you with his shoulder. “‘Cause you’re a freak, too.” He laughs harder when you scoff. “C’mon, Y/N. Who else gets detention for reading?”

“Fair enough,” you concede. “Why are you here?”

“Besides this basically being my permanent residency? Um, I got caught cutting class? Or smoking in the bathroom? Or maybe it was because I flipped off Jason Carver in the cafeteria? I can’t remember what this one was, honestly. They all just kinda…blur together.” He waves his hand nonchalantly. 

“One more question,” you start. “How do you, um, how do you know my name?” You took all honors and Advanced Placement classes, and Eddie…well, he certainly did not. 

He gives you an astonished look. “You really don’t remember?” He continues when you shake your head bashfully. “You interviewed Corroded Coffin for the school newspaper last year! I invited you to come to the Hideout and see us in action, but you never showed.”

“Oh, yeah.” It comes back to you now. You’d been all dressed and ready to go, but your mom went ballistic at the thought of you in a dive bar. “I tried, but my parents are really strict.”

“So then don’t tell them!” Eddie says simply. “Just say you’re going to the library or something.”

“At 10 pm?” you raise your eyebrows. “If this is your idea of being clever, it’s no wonder you keep failing senior year!”

His jaw drops at your teasing. “And here I thought you were nice. Y’know what?” He scrunches up his face and eyes your desk. “I’m takin’ my book back!” And with that, he swipes it and clutches it to his chest. 

“Eddie!” you shriek, giggling as you grab at the paperback, only to have him jerk away in response. “Stop!”

“Hmm…nope!” Eddie shakes his head, unruly curls brushing his cheeks. “This is a lot more fun for me.” He stands up and holds the book above his head. 

You jump up a few times to try and snatch it back, to no avail. As a last resort, you jut out your lower lip in a pout. “Please?”

He uses his free hand to tap his finger on his chin. “What’s the magic phrase?” 

“What?”

“Fine, I’ll help you out,” he sighs, feigning exasperation. “It’s ‘Eddie Munson is the smartest, most handsome man in the world.’”

You begrudgingly repeat the sentence, grumbling it under your breath. But Eddie still doesn’t hand over the book. “I said it!” you groan. “You gotta give it back!”

“Oh, did I forget to mention part two?” There’s a mischievous glint in his deep brown eyes. “Now you have to say, ‘And because I heartlessly ditched his concert last year, I will make it up to him by letting him take me out tonight.”

“Me?” You can’t hide the shock in your voice. “Are you joking?” Why would Eddie Munson want to take a shy little bookworm out? He probably had outgoing, boisterous girls fawning all over him at his shows. Girls who didn’t care whether or not they got mommy and daddy’s permission to go to a bar. 

“‘M dead serious, sweetheart.” Eddie gives you a soft smile. “Don’t say anything, because it’ll totally ruin my reputation as Hawkins’ evil cult leader, but I also love to read.” He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a tattered copy of The Hobbit. “This one is my absolute favorite. I re-read it, like, once a month.”

“I should’ve known you were a nerd,” you muse, looking up at him through your lashes innocently. “Honestly, the whole Dungeons & Dragons thing should’ve given it away.”

Eddie gently bops you on the head with his book. “So, whaddya say to that date?” He’s trying to sound confident, but you catch him nervously playing with the rings that adorn his fingers. 

“I’d love to,” you answer honestly, heart fluttering as he takes your hand in his. 

“Great! Let’s go!” He tugs you out of your seat, but you shift your weight so you sink back down. He looks at you, puzzled. 

“We can’t just leave!” you gesture to the detention room. “I don’t wanna get in more trouble.” The last thing you need is another round of Click-induced humiliation. 

“Why not?” Eddie asks. “No one comes in here. I usually just use this time to work on my lyrics, even though I’m supposed to think about what I’ve done.” He lowers his voice an octave and wiggles his fingers at the last part, making you giggle. 

“You’re a bad influence, Eddie Munson,” you say, but you oblige. You tip-toe behind him, keeping a watchful eye out for straggling teachers or—God forbid—Principal Higgins. Eddie doesn’t let go of your hand until you reach his van, opening the passenger side door with a quick bow. 

“Ladies first,” he grins, shuffling to the driver’s side and starting the car. It backfires at first, startling you, but he gets the engine to turn over on the second try. “Sorry, my Jaguar is in the shop.”

“Of course,” you reply in a posh accent. “They just don’t make cars the way they used to.” You lean over to turn the radio dial, spinning past Eddie’s favorite station and straight for your own. Stevie Nicks’s voice wafts from the speakers as a Fleetwood Mac song plays. 

“You’re really lucky you’re cute,” he tells you, flashing his signature smirk, “or I’d be totally pissed that you changed Ozzy for this.” If he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t think that you could do anything to anger him. You watch as his strong hand grips the gearshift, throwing the van in reverse. He reaches behind your seat as he backs up, tongue poking out in concentration. 

You can’t stop the smile that blossoms on your face at the compliment. Eddie Munson thinks I’m cute. The thought buzzes through your body like a hyperactive bumblebee. You try to push it away, mumbling, “Where are we going?”

“D’you trust me?” He threads his fingers through yours, and you feel yourself heat up despite the coolness of his metal rings. 

“Not in the slightest,” you tease him again, offering your sweetest smile. “After all, the last time you did something nice for me, it ended with you holding my book hostage. Which you still have, by the way.” 

Eddie squeezes your hand affectionately. “Fair enough.” But he doesn’t give you any further information, just sings along with the radio despite his initial protests. It’s melodic and relaxing, and you find yourself staring at the way his soft lips move as he recites the lyrics and uses his forefinger to keep the tempo against the steering wheel. “Okay, y’caught me.” He breathes out a small laugh. “I kinda like their stuff. I mean, I wouldn’t spend money for their concerts, but I don’t mind it if there’s nothing else on. Or if a pretty girl wants to listen to them.” This time, he notices the way you hide behind your hair at his words. “C’mon now; don’t get all shy just because someone called you ‘pretty.’”

But he’s not someone; he’s Eddie. He’s the guy you’ve had a crush on for far too long, and he stole your book back from Mrs. Click, asked you on a date, snuck you out of detention, held your hand, and complimented you repeatedly—all within the span of thirty minutes. 

“I was really upset earlier about getting detention,” you confess, steering the conversation away from your timidness and relentless crush on Eddie. “But you cheered me up and, um, that meant a lot to me.”

“Glad I could be of service,” he says, tipping an invisible hat. “But take it from me—detention isn’t the end of the world. Especially since you rarely ever get it.”

“Never,” you correct him. 

“Huh?”

“I’ve never gotten detention. Until today.” You feel childish admitting it. Senior year of high school and this is the only time you broke the rules—and in such a geeky way, too. 

“Well, it was an honor to witness you pop your detention cherry.” The phrasing makes you burst out with laughter, and you clap your free hand over your mouth. “Don’t do that,” he says softly, letting go of the hand he’s holding to nudge the one that’s pressed to your lips. “You have a nice laugh.” He pulls into a parking lot, finding the nearest spot before killing the engine. 

“No way,” you whisper, gazing at the building. You’d figured he would take you out for pizza or s movie, but this is even better. “Eddie, did you bring me to a bookstore?” 

He nods proudly. “This one has a little café inside, if you want a coffee or something.” He takes your hand again as you both stride towards the shop. “Pick out a book—it’s on me. Paperback, hardcover—whatever you want.”

“Hardcover? You really know how to spoil a girl, Munson.” Your tone is joking, but there’s truth to it. You normally only splurge for hardcover books when you have a gift card. You peruse the aisles, trying to quickly scan the spines for something that catches your eye. It wouldn’t be out of character for you to spend hours searching for the perfect book, but you didn’t want to drag Eddie along on a boring date. 

“Let me grab us something to drink,” Eddie says as you start towards the ‘thrillers’ section. “How do you take your coffee?” You give him your order and promise to meet him by the café in a few minutes. “No rush,” he assures you, and he kisses your cheek quickly before ducking away and heading for the barista. 

There’s a whole display dedicated to Stephen King, and you check out the offerings before settling on Firestarter. You’ve been meaning to read it, and now is the perfect chance to snatch it up. Before you go to the café, you wander over to the fantasy section. If Eddie likes Lord of the Rings, you’re sure to find another book he’ll enjoy here. Anne Rice’s Interview with a Vampire stands out; it’s dark and gothic and seems perfect for him. Pulling off the shelf, you make a stop at the cash register before joining him at the café. At a quick glance, you can see he’s chatting with the barista, so you sneakily pay for your gift to him, promising the cashier that you’ll be back to pay for Firestarter. He doesn’t seem too worried, and you flounce over to your date with a wide smile. 

Eddie’s sitting at a table for two. There’s a steaming cup of coffee in front of each place setting, with a slice of chocolate cake and two plastic forks in the center. “Figured we could use something sweet,” he says nonchalantly, as though he didn’t just have a small panic attack trying to decide between flavors. His brows furrow when he notices the bag in your hand. “Hey, I said I was treating you to a book!” he whines. 

“Don’t worry, I have my choice right here,” you tell him, flashing the paperback. “This is from me to you.” 

He takes the bag curiously, sticking his hand in without looking. The tip of his tongue brushes against his upper lip, much like it did in the van, as he dramatically rifles through, conveniently ignoring the fact that there’s only one item in there. After a solid ten seconds of that, he fishes out the book. 

“Have you read it? Like, do you already own it? Because I can return it right there,” you blabber, motioning to where the bored cashier is twiddling his thumbs, “if you don’t want it. And you can pick out something else.”

“Hey, hey,” Eddie says softly, cupping your chin with his left hand. “I love it, okay? I haven’t read it yet, but I want to.” He plops down on the chair as you slide into yours, relieved. “In fact, maybe I’ll read it right now.” He opens to the first page, and you giggle as his eyes scan the words. “Oh, I’m being rude, aren’t I?” He fakes innocence, making you laugh harder. “My apologies. I’ll read aloud so you can listen.” He starts speaking in his deep, dramatic Dungeon Master voice. Although he’s trying to be silly, there’s something comforting about having him read to you. You almost don’t want him to stop, sipping from your mug and drinking in the sound of him. 

He slams the book shut and gently places it back in the bag. “So, besides read and piss off Click, what do you like to do for fun?” he asks, digging his fork into the cake slice and taking a bite. “Holy shit, this is delicious.”

You take another swallow of coffee. There’s still a hint of bitterness to it, just the way you like it. “I write for the school newspaper. Mostly just reporting on school events, student council budget reports…” 

“And entertainment?” Eddie finishes. 

“Huh?”

“Writing the entertainment section? Isn’t that why you interviewed us last year?” he adds, pushing the cake towards you as an invitation. You oblige, answering his question before eating. 

“Oh,” you mumble, keeping your gaze trained on the confection. “I don’t normally do that, but I asked Nancy if I could cover it that week.”

“Oh?” He’s intrigued, and you’re grateful for the mouthful of cake when he follows up with, “And why is that?”

You chew carefully, probably more times than necessary while you consider your response. Fuck it; we’re already on a date. “Kinda had a crush on their lead guitarist-slash-vocalist,” you say shyly, “and I always wanted to talk to him but couldn’t work up the courage to do it, like, normally.”

Eddie crosses his arms and leans back, smiling proudly. “So you hid behind the guise of your work to flirt with me?” He lets out a soft whistle. “And here I thought you had journalistic integrity.” He puts his hand over yours once again, rubbing his thumb over it rhythmically. “S’okay, because I totally have a crush on this reporter.”

“Fred Benson?” you joke. 

Pouting, Eddie pulls the slice of cake directly in front of him. “Y’know what? You’ve lost your dessert privileges for being such a mean date.” To emphasize his point, he takes a giant bite while glaring at you. Chocolate frosting smears on his lips. “Do I have something on my face?” he asks when he catches you staring at his mouth. 

“Actually, yes.” You start to lean over with a paper napkin in hand, but decide against it, bringing your lips to his. He tastes like sugar from the cake, burnt caramel from the coffee, and clove from his cigarettes, and your stomach flip-flops when he brings his hand to your cheek and deepens the kiss. “Mmm, my favorite,” you manage when you break away. 

“What? Me or the chocolate?” Eddie asks, eyes blown wide just from a simple kiss. 

You smile, biting your lower lip. “Right now? The cake, because you still haven’t given me back the book you stole in detention.”

He throws his head back and sighs. “But if I don’t hold your book hostage, how can I secure that second date?”

You brush a lock of hair out of his face. “What if I told you that you already have?” He looks genuinely astonished, so you elaborate. “Eddie, this is the best date I’ve ever had. I can’t think of the last time I was this happy.”

The handsome metalhead reaches into his worn backpack and takes out the book. “You probably already figured this out, but flattery works with me, so…” 

You grab it victoriously. “Thank you,” you chirp, stowing it away before he can take it back. Eddie grins at you, just enjoying being in your company. 

“I kinda have a little confession of my own,” he says quietly. You pinch your eyebrows together in confusion. “I, um, I didn’t have detention today.” 

“Then why—” 

“Saw you sitting there alone, and I wanted to talk to you. I keep lookin’ for you in the cafeteria so I can ask you to eat with us, but I never see you.” 

You clear your throat. “Yeah, I-I like to eat in the library. It’s quieter there.” And you don’t have to deal with Jason Carver and his posse picking on you, but you withhold that information. 

Eddie looks at you inquisitively. “I thought you couldn’t eat in the library.” He raises his brows. “You little rebel. Sneaking food in the library, reading for fun during class…” He trails off and chuckles. “You’re always welcome at our table. I’d really like it if you sat with us, actually.” 

“Okay,” you agree easily. “I’d really like that, too.” You kiss him again and again, stopping only to indulge in coffee or cake. 

Maybe getting detention isn’t so bad, after all. 

--

[luffysinterlude]

random thoughts…i’m sick in bed and my imagination gifted me this (im barely getting to dressrosa in the manga like i have no idea how canonically correct this is, forgive me) / (use of yn, fem!reader in mind, but kinda like an oc?,, zoro x reader/oc bc yes i’m biased):

donquixote!yn who escapes the family with her brother Law, only to be split up…couple of years later Law finds himself staring back at your bounty poster. a bold 77,000$ written just below…Trafalgar D. Cupid (takes Law’s name AND an alias because doflamingo is a scary man). he smiles to himself, a feeling of pride filling his chest, knowing you’re somewhere out there. he reads that you’re apart of Straw Hat Luffy’s crew, the captain who took down Crocodile in Alabasta. he makes a mental note to keep an eye on the Straw Hats, knowing how you wouldn’t have joined the guy’s crew if he wasn’t strong. mostly, just to keep an eye on you.

“oh, it’s yn, isn’t it?” Bepo beams, interrupting Law’s thoughts. “lemme see, captain.” Law barely gets to react before a paw reaches over and snatches the paper out of his hands.

“AWWWWWW. IT’S REALLY OUR YN!! Cupid, huh? still an archer….oh wow she looks so cool!! so grown up…!” The rest of the Heart Pirates gather around Bepo, all wanting to see the sister of their Captain. Aww’s and gasps fill the room as Law thinks of you, hoping that wherever you are and wherever you go, you’re safe. If anything were to happen to you, he’ll kill Straw Hat Luffy himself, and gift his heart to Sengoku in person.

somewhere across the grand line, your legs drag you to your shared quarters…throwing your bow and arrows to the side of your bedpost, you soon find yourself face planting into the mattress…muscles aching from the intense training you’ve just finished with Zoro. you feel yourself slipping into a deep slumber, that’s only until Nami barges in with a newspaper in her hand, shoving it in your face.

“YN!! LOOK!!”

on the cover, the name Trafalgar D. Law is written in bold, but it’s the striking 1,000,000$ written beneath it that make your eyes bulge…

“HUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!?!” Law must be a captain now….the thought makes you worried sick but at the same time curious…where have you been Law?!

“it says here your brother’s the captain of the Heart Pirates!!” a part of you wants to dwell the fact you’re technically your brother’s enemy…wants to dwell on the fact that the Heart Pirates was a dream of yours once, too. but you can’t — the tears of joy overwhelm every negative emotion, and soon your bursting out crying because you’re so proud of big brother Law. “i bet he’s proud of you too, yn.”

“i just hope he’s okay. life hasn’t been the easiest on either of us and….” your thoughts halt for a moment. you think of what Law would say if he were to be sitting in Nami’s seat right now…”c’mon yn, stop being a baby! stop cryin’, you’re stronger than that. i’m okay, we’re okay.”

you blink away those sappy thoughts as you shake your head, slightly smiling at the memory. you take a deep breath before shooting the ginger a small smile, “he’s okay. and i’m so happy.” you stare at her with loving eyes, before throwing yourself into an embrace with her. Nami reminded you of Law somehow, maybe the familial feeling you get from her, but she’s truly the one person who really knows you…aside from…

“though, i wonder how he’d react if he met Zoro.”

[wishfulwithwine]

Make Me Forget

Rafe Cameron x Maybank!Reader x Topper Thorton

WARNINGS: THIS SERIES IS 18+. INVOLVES EXPLICIT/NSFW CONTENT. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF MINOR. 

photo from pinterest

Y/N Maybank usually hated Kooks and would never be caught on Figure Eight.

As JJ’s twin sister, you had been endlessly lectured about who to never talk to, let alone hang out with. It had been drilled into your brain since birth practically. 

You and your brother were always close, due to your mother’s abandonment and father’s abuse. 

It was you against the world. 

When JJ became friends with John B, your duo became a trio. Then Pope and Kiara were added, and the group solidified. A group of 5, you were all best friends. 

Pogues 4 Life!

Then, Sarah Cameron came into the mix…

Sarah Cameron wouldn’t have been a problem as an addition to the Pogues if she had joined as Kiara’s friend. 

But Sarah came as John B’s girlfriend, and to Y/N who loved John B as long as you’ve known him, Y/N couldn’t be around them anymore.

Sarah Cameron was different than any other girl John B had dated - mainly because he didn’t date many girls, just hook up and dump. Usually they were Tourons, but he was never in love with anyone. 

Not like how it was with Sarah. Never how it was with Sarah.

With a tight grip on your cup, you watched from across the kegger as Sarah and John B danced together, laughing loudly. You tried your hardest not to glare, as you took another large gulp of whatever drink you had, walking away, hoping there would be something - anything - to take your mind off of them.

And then you saw one of the guys your brother hated with a burning passion, and realized that maybe the kooks would be able to solve your pogue problem. You knew they all did drugs, it wasn’t a secret by any means. Maybe drugs would take your mind off of your heart. 

JJ might hate you after what you was looking for, but you were desperate. 

“Hey, do you know where Rafe is?”

Glancing up from his phone, Topper Thorton looked down at Y/N Maybank.

 The blonde Pogue Princess - who would have gotten a scholarship to “Kook Academy” if her father had finished the paperwork, who was undoubtedly the best surfer on the island, who would make the best drinks at the Island Club, and who was completely innocent - despite being the crush of every single male on Kildare but her father and brother.

“He’s around here somewhere, why?” Topper asked skeptically, as you bit your lip, shifting on your heels before looking across the crowd to see your personal point of anguish. Topper followed your eyesight…

Sarah Cameron was all over John B, throwing her arms around him and him watching her like she was the only girl in the world.

“I wanted…I need something to make me forget” Y/N said, in a soft, almost fragile voice, clueing Topper into your vulnerability. Sighing, he looked back at the girl.

“Coming from personal experience from dating Sarah Cameron, she’ll be over him soon” Topper said, shrugging his shoulders, as he tried to make the girl feel better.

“Yea, well I just want at least a night to not be in pain” Y/N said, shaking your head.

“Hey Top! And Y/N Maybank, as I live and breathe! I’m surprised to see you here talking to my boy?” Rafe asked, throwing an arm around Top, as he looked to the girl.

“I was looking for you, actually” Y/N said, as your face changed from sullen to a smirk. “How much will it cost to have some fun tonight?” You asked, staring at the Cameron boy from beneath your lashes. You knew you were pretty, and you knew exactly how to act to get what you wanted.

Rafe raised his eyebrows, smirking widely, as he looked to Top, before back at the girl.

“Follow me” He said, letting go of Topper to wrap his arm now around your shoulders. Topper followed the pair, watching as almost everyone around them stared at the unlikely trio. To be honest, Topper was surprised that a pogue hadn’t come over to take Y/N away - as this was the case any other time you had talked to a Kook like himself. The Pogues were generally protective of Y/N. JJ was a firecracker and if it wasn’t him already getting into fights, the Pogues would keep you safe to prevent one. 

Rafe leaned into his car, looking for his stash, before he looked to Topper who was already looking at Y/N, something glinting in his eye, before Rafe smirked and leaned back out of the car.

“I left most stuff at home. I only have some weed on me, but if you want, I’d be more than happy to bring you to my house. I’ve got some stuff that will definitely cause some fun” Rafe said, with a smirk. 

Topper looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, before recognizing the intention on Rafe’s face.

Y/N, however, didn’t see the ulterior motive.

“Sure. Thank you so much” You said, looking between the two of them. Rafe opened up the passenger side door for you, as Topper climbed in back.

The ride was fast, as Rafe sped down the streets back to Tanneyhill, the landscape rushing past as Rafe was eager to get home with Y/N.

He couldn’t believe his luck. He wasn’t going to question really why Y/N was coming for drugs, but he just was eager to take full advantage of this miracle - at least for him - situation. 

“So, can I ask why you want to have some fun with us tonight?” Rafe asked, curiously.

“It’s a bit embarrassing” Y/N admitted, looking down at her hands. 

“Sarah and John B were all over each other” Topper explained. 

“Oh yea, nobody wants to see that. ” Rafe said, careful with his words to not be insulting to her personally. He would’ve said something like “dirty pogue”, but then you’d get offended and his plan would go down the drain.

Rafe Cameron would’ve never imagined Y/N Maybank coming to him for drugs. Everyone knew or heard rumors about what a terrible father Luke Maybank was to his children because of them. The drugs had cost Y/N a lot of things in life, but he wasn’t going to question anything when he could finally make a move on the one girl he could never manage to shoot his shot with. 

“Let’s not think about it anymore. We’ll keep you distracted all night, right Rafe?” Topper said, smirking to his best friend, as Topper leaned forward, close to Y/N. You smiled, genuinely at the two of them.

“Thank you both” You said, and Topper and Rafe shared a look.

Tanneyhill was empty tonight, and after entering the huge house, Y/N couldn’t help but stare at the luxury surrounding you. The paintings on the wall probably cost more than the shack you lived in with your father and brother. 

JJ was going to be pissed when he finds out I’m here, alone, with the Kook princes, Y/N thought, but quickly pushed that thought to the back of your mind, as you followed Rafe and Topper through the house. Your nerves kept you from speaking to them for now. 

Rafe led them upstairs to his bedroom, going to rummage through his drawers to find his stash as Topper sat on the bed, motioning for Y/N to sit down next to him. 

“You know, I gotta admit, I’ve always wanted to hang out with you more, pretty girl” Rafe said, sitting on the other side of Y/N, as he handed both you and Topper the pills. “You seem so protected. I’m so glad you’re here with us, getting to know you better”

Y/N tried to subtly squeeze your thighs together, the praise going straight to your core. Neither boy missed the movement, only grinned a bit more wickedly to each other.

“Cheers to a fun night” Topper said, nodding to the pair before swallowing the pill.

It didn’t take long to feel the effects, your body beginning to heat up and your head feeling hazy. You leaned into Topper’s side, allowing yourself to just feel weightless. 

“You feeling good, sweetheart?” Topper asked, wrapping his arm around you and holding onto your hip. They watched as Y/N blushed, smiling shyly and nodding.

“I want your words, pretty girl” Rafe said, cooing at you, staring while he rested his hand on your knee. 

“Yes, feels good” You said, a slight slurring already occurring. Moving on the bed, you moved your hips around, causing Topper to hold your hips a bit tighter and pulling you closer to him. Rafe moved closer as well, and you could smell the expensive cologne emanating off of both of them. 

“You’re so pretty, you know that?” Topper said, and you looked up into his eyes, seeing his pupils expanding and darkening.

“Really? Then why…” You said, confused.

“Because my sister is a slut, and boys like John B are weak. They don’t see a real treasure like you right in front of them. But we do, don’t we Top?” Rafe said, his lips by your ear, blowing hot breath on your neck. Shivering, you leaned your head back, unknowingly giving Rafe more access to your neck. He chuckled into your neck, moving his hand up from your knee slowly.

“You’re so beautiful and good, we just stayed away because we thought you hated us” Topper lied - you were beautiful and good, but they were forcibly stayed away from the Pogues.

“Oh no, I don’t hate you - either of you!” You said, a bit desperately as your eyes widened with worry.

“Really? I mean, your friends say pretty terrible things about us” Rafe said, causing you to feel guilt in your heart, especially as he turned your head with a finger on your jaw to stare directly at him. Topper couldn’t help the smirk on his face, as he watched your body accept them easily. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t feel that way. You two have always been nice to me” You said, staring directly at him before wrapping your arms around Rafe’s shoulders. Topper detached his arms around you, as Rafe maneuvered you to sit on his lap, your legs straddling him. Rafe had to stifle a groan, his arms wrapping around you - placing one on your back and the other on your ass, pressing you tightly into his chest.

“We believe you. You’re such a good girl, baby girl” Rafe said, his breath once again on heating your neck, igniting more of a fire in your core. You couldn’t help your thighs clenching around his waist, and Rafe took this opportunity to lower his hand, grabbing your ass and moving you to rock against him. Your legs had been spread wide, causing the hem of your skirt to rise, all the way to your hips in the front. 

You let out a gasp, leaning your chest away to look him in the eyes.

“I’m so sorry, baby girl. This is just, I’ve dreamed of you being in my arms for so long” Rafe admitted.

“Both of us, pretty girl” Topper said, as he moved closer. The heat of his gaze adding accelerant to the fire in your core, especially when Rafe would squeeze your ass, causing you to rock more on him. You could feel the zipper of his pants along your clit, with your skirt pushed up to your hips, your only barrier was now a thin lace thong. 

“Both?” You asked, eyes wide and doe-like in surprise.

Both the Kook princes were interested in you? You couldn’t say that you never thought about them, but did they want all three of you, together now? 

“Is that ok, baby girl? We wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but you’re so gorgeous baby girl” He said, lust permeating his voice as he squeezed you again, grinding you down on his large bulge, and his hand moved more south on your ass, the denim skirt rising so his hand was on your bare cheek. Rafe moved his other hand down, as the skirt was up all the way, exposing your ass, as well the view of the front of your lace thong. 

Topper couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The Pogue princess, with her skirt pushed all the way up so him and Rafe could see her underwear - no, a cute little lace thong showing off her perfect little ass. 

Not being able to stop himself with the drugs fueling his actions, Topper began palming himself through his pants, himself hard at seeing your body. Rafe let out a groan when he squeezed her ass again, rutting against her and feeling her hips grind on his. 

As the zipper rubbed directly on your clit, you couldn’t stifle your moans. The drugs were having you feel more of your body, and right now, you were going to chase the high you were getting. Hearing the heavy panting from Topper, you looked over to see him palming himself.

You reached over with your hand, touching his arm before moving it slowly down to his hand, making eye contact with Topper.

“You want to help me out, pretty girl?” Topper said, with a grin, lifting his hand to take yours, holding it as he placed your hand underneath the waist band of his shorts and boxers as he slid them both off his legs. His cock jumped out of his shorts, slapping against his stomach, and you could feel how hard it was, moving your hand up and down his thick shaft.

Rafe couldn’t wait much longer with this over the clothes grinding - the fact Topper’s dick was getting actual touch action before his own putting him over the edge. 

“Stand up baby girl. Let’s get you out of those clothes, huh? You must be feeling pretty warm” He said, as you got up, allowing Rafe to stand as well. Topper and Rafe went about getting your clothes off - slowly, letting their fingertips drag along your skin as they stared at your naked body on display for them. 

Feral. They looked absolutely feral. 

You blushed under their gaze, and when Rafe saw your red cheeks, he grinned almost wickedly - a predator about to devour their prey. 

“Oh baby girl, you’re so beautiful. So perfect. You’re like a damn masterpiece” Rafe said, as you locked eyes, before looking to Topper. He was in shock, eyes still roaming your body.

“Fucking dream girl right here, right Topper?” Rafe said, snapping Topper out of it.

“Yea, perfect, Y/N perfect” Topper said, before looking to Rafe.

“Topper, you want to eat that pussy of hers? Taste how sweet she is? I’ve been dying to get her mouth on my cock. Then you can have her mouth and I’ll have her tight little pussy creaming on my cock, ain’t that right, baby girl?” Rafe stated, and with a nudge, you kneeled on the bed, the boys on either end of you. You stared at Rafe’s cock - it was the biggest you’d ever seen, although Topper’s wasn’t much smaller. It was thick and long, already red with a weeping head. 

You licked your lips in anticipation, before licking the underside of Rafe’s cock, going along the vein underneath. You felt his body shudder, but you were soon distracted by the tongue licking a long stripe on your own folds. 

You moaned, which gave Rafe an opportunity to guide his dick easily into your mouth, moving a hand to your hair as he thrusted into your mouth. Hollowing your cheeks, you suck, trying not to smirk as you hear Rafe��s moans. Topper however, feels your distraction, and levels up his antics - adding a finger inside of you as he sucks your clit harshly. 

“You’re such a good girl, baby girl. So good for us. Topper’s having the time of his life, eating you sweet pussy  like a goddamn meal” Rafe said, causing you to clench.

“Oh she really liked that, don’t you pretty girl” Topper said, winking at Rafe to continue. Rafe grinned, as he watched your pleased face when Topper added another finger inside of you, curling them to hit the spongey patch inside of you. 

“You’re so perfect for us. Your mouth feels like heaven. Your lips were made for sucking cock, my baby girl. But I can’t wait to feel that pussy around me. You’re so perfect, baby girl” He said, as he watched drool form at your mouth, becoming sloppier as your pleasure was increasing. 

The vibrations of your moans caused Rafe to stutter in his thrusts, as you were climbing rapidly over the edge yourself. He removed himself, and now that you were only focused on Topper’s mouth and fingers, you came quickly - and squirted. 

“Holy shit, you squirted on Topper’s face” Rafe said, excitedly, eyes wide as he looked at Topper, who was licking up with a wide grin on his face. You looked mortified, as you turned around once Topper had leaned back.

“Oh no, don’t feel embarrassed, pretty girl. That was incredible - best experience. I’ve never had anyone squirt before” Topper said, a proud grin on his face.

“Trust me, baby girl. You just made his life” Rafe said. “Now I want to make you squirt on my cock” Rafe added, putting a condom on before laying down and pulling you to straddle him. His cock stretched you out, despite how wet you were.

“You’re so tight, baby girl. Clenching me like a vice” Rafe gritted out, groaning at how good you felt around him. Topper walked over after he finished cleaning off his face, and you slid your lips around his cock, noting the differences between the men’s dicks.

Both were exceptional and mouthwatering. You could die happily if you only had tonight left. 

“You weren’t kidding about her mouth, damn” Topper groaned, as you swirled your tongue around while hollowing out your cheeks. Rafe smirked, but soon his concentration was about thrusting into you. 

After having just squirted, your body was heating up quicker. The tense coil had been primed, and your next orgasm was coming quickly, which Rafe could feel.

Your moaning had the same effect on Topper as it had Rafe, but Topper wasn’t going to pull out of your mouth. It wasn’t long before Topper thrusted his load down your throat, with a loud groan and panting. 

“Such a good girl, getting all of it. Don’t leave anything to waste” Topper said, cupping your face when you retracted. Your doe eyes looked up at him, and Topper couldn’t resist kissing you, before going to get himself clean. You heard the shower turn on, but were soon refocused back to Rafe, when he flipped you both so now you were on your back on the bed, Rafe thrusting into you, your sense overwhelmed with him all around you.

“Baby girl, you’re so perfect for me. This pussy, I’m not going to be able to just give up. So god damn tight and warm” Rafe said. “You’re so good for me - for us. Making us feel so good, my good girl. So pretty and nice, baby girl” He said, thrusting in deep and hard, touching your cervix with his cock.

“Rafe” You moaned, and he smirked, increasing the speed and beginning to rub your clit with his fingers. His lips went to your nipples, sucking on them as well as tugging on them with his teeth.

“That’s my name, baby girl. Who’s making you feel this good, huh? Baby girl, you’re such a good girl” He said, looking up at your face, glistening with sweat and pleasure. 

“You, Rafe, mhm” You moaned louder, before you came again, just as forcefully, squirting again on his cock. Thrusting a few more times, before he let out a loud groan, releasing himself. Rafe lay down by your side, pulling you into him, as you both calmed your breathing. 

“Fuck. That was the best sex I’ve ever had. You’ve got me addicted now, baby girl” He said, kissing your hot neck. You flushed, looking over at him, and touching his face softly, pushing some strands of his hair off his face.

“Fuck drugs, that pussy is my new vice” Topper said, smirking as he came out of the bathroom in a towel, and Rafe laughed, while you blushed.

“He’s right. Fuck the drugs. I just want to stay in your pussy” Rafe said, and you couldn’t help but giggle.  

Please comment if you think I should do a part 2!!!! Have some ideas of ‘what happens next’, but let me know if you want more :) 

[starogeorgina]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐬

Pairing: Criston Cole x reader

Warnings: Swearing

1.05

The air had an uneasy atmosphere to it. Raya, who usually spoke in length about anything she found interesting, from a book she read to the sudden change in weather, was uncharacteristically quiet while braiding your hair.

“Is something wrong?”

She slows her actions down but doesn’t say anything. The dark hair hanging in front of her face did little to hide the worried expression she held.

“We’ve been by each other’s side for some time; you can tell me if something is displeasing you. If someone has upset you, I’ll not think twice about feeding them to Lady.”

Raya chuckles softly before shaking her head. Sighing, she says, “As you know, I take no part in idle gossip, but while breaking fast, I overheard some things I wish to share with you, so you are prepared.”

“Prepared?” You glance over your shoulder at Raya. “Prepared for what?”

“The Hightowers. As you know, Otto Hightower's brother Hobert and his wife Lynesse have traveled from old town, and Lady Lynesse has brought her own handmaidens. They were gossiping this morning about you and Prince Daemon.”

“What about my uncle?” You gasp, “I don’t understand why mine or Daemon’s name would be coming out of their mouths.”

“The Hightowers in old town are implying Prince Daemon was inappropriate with you,” Raya lowers her head. “Forgive me if I’ve overstepped, princess.”

Gently, you take her hand in yours and say, “You haven’t; what did they say?”

“They were saying the two of you have been seen walking together alone in the gardens of the keep. They also mentioned how suspicious it is that you aren’t with child yet.”

“Gods,” you scoff. “I spoke to my uncle once in the garden, with Ser Criston and Meera there. They are trying to slander me the same way they did Rhaenyra.”

“In the north, they would be punished for saying such slanderous things. I didn’t want to upset you, princess; I know how sad you’ve been since Lord Edric’s passing.”

“Thank you for telling me,” you say sincerely. “As for not being with child… I have questioned it myself. I have started to worry that myself and Gwayne aren’t compatible. I spoke with the maester the other day, and he had the audacity to suggest the issue lay with me.”

Raya motions for you to spin back around so she can continue the braid. “Well, we know you can bear children; what if it’s Ser Gwayne that cannot?”

“Regardless, it would be my fault, as I’m the woman. How would it be possible for me to know?”

“Men like your husband, who favors women from pillow houses, often have bastards.”

“How would I find out? I don’t imagine he would tell me if he knew.”

“Do you know anyone you trust who frequents there?” She laughs. “Perhaps one of Otto’s spies could tell you.”

You smile at hearing the playful tone return to her voice. However, Raya’s words had started to grow roots, and a bad idea springs to mind.”

—

“You seem lost in thought.”

“Hm,” you suddenly snap out of your daydream and see Rhaenyra looking up at you, concerned. “Sorry, I was somewhere else. What were you saying?”

“Jacaerys hasn’t been sleeping well, but it seems he’s rather settled now,” she smiles.

You continue rubbing soothing circles on the young boy's back while gently rocking him. Lucerys sits on a fur rug by Rhaenyra’s side, playing with his toys. “Meera was the same at his age; she went through a phase of not sleeping, and it lasted until the last of her teeth grew in.”

Rhaenyra brushes strands of Lucerys dark hair out of his face, saying, “There’s nothing worse than seeing your children in pain and not being able to help them.”

“I know; it truly is a helpless feeling.”

“It's much like not being able to help your sister when she’s unhappy.” She watches proudly as Luke stacks blocks on top of one another before knocking them down with his hand. Motherhood has truly changed her; you’d never seen your sister so happy when with her sons.

You hesitate for a moment. “You could possibly help me, but I don’t think you’ll like it.”

“Name it, and whatever it is shall be done.”

Quietly, you say, “I need you to draw me a map of how to reach the street of silk.”

The look she gives you... Rhaenyra looks beautiful and terrifying. A fearful mother about to scorn her child for being so reckless—the look your own mother used to give her. “And why on earth would you need that?”

“I need to speak with the madam of the brothel Gwayne frequently visits,” you say in a tone that’s barely above a whisper. “I need to know if he’s fathered any children.”

“Sister, I must—”

“Please, Nyra, you told me you’ve been before. I can’t trust anyone to do it for me, and I need to know if he can have children.” You sniffle a little before saying, “There is gossip that I cannot bear another child. I just need to know what I’m dealing with.”

She lets out a long sigh, “Fine. But only because I know you’re going to do it regardless of what I say.”

—

Tucking Meera into bed, you brush strands of hair out of her face. “Goodnight, sweetling.”

She pulls the blanket up closer to her face; her pale cheeks have a red tint to them, as they always did when she fought sleep. “Why aren’t you going to sleep?”

“I need to go see your aunt Rhaenyra, but I won’t be gone too long.”

“I’ll stay up.”

“No, you will not,” you chuckle before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “I don’t want you to fall asleep during your lessons in the morrow, Raya will be here until I return. I love you, sweetling. Now go to sleep.”

Meera closes her eyes, and you quietly walk over to the door to leave. Rhaenyra had already drawn you a map and left clothes for you to change into in the hidden passage you’d be leaving through. It was reckless venturing out alone, but you needed to do it. Not because you really cared about Gwayne’s having bastards or not, but for your daughter. If the Hightowers thought you were barren, you wouldn’t put it past them to try and replace you. The Hightowers were closely linked with members of the faith of the seven, who were known for their disdain for House Targaryen. You didn’t trust a single one of them.

Just as you reach the door, you hear a mumble, “I love you, mummy.”

—

Heat radiates inside you, bubbling away in your stomach, leaving your mouth with a sour taste and the urge to barf. After visiting two pleasure houses, you eventually found the one your husband visits most, and you paid Madame handsomely for her time. At first, she was reluctant until you dropped a heavy bag of coins in front of her.

“Many of my girls have traveled from Old Town to the street of silk for more customers. Let’s say they are very familiar with many of the Hightower men, including Ser Gwayne, and, best to my knowledge, none have birthed any bastards fathered by him.”

“Would any of the girls lie or drink moon tea?”

The sympathetic looks she gives you make you feel like a fool. “Many girls in our line of work won’t drink the tea because it’s known to upset the gut, and if they are ill, they won’t get paid.” She leans in and whispers, “Some say they prefer laying with Ser Gwayne because they believe he cannot father children.”

You drag your feet as you approach the gates to the keep while staying hidden within the trees. Your mind was frazzled; if what Madame said was true, then you wouldn’t be having anymore children.

“Princess.”

You’re completely startled when your sworn shield grabs you by the shoulder and pins you against the wall. His lips parted ever so slightly when he stepped closer to you; it took you a moment to register the two knights walking by. You were dressed like a boy, and the knight was in his own clothes.

You swallow thickly, “Ser Criston.”

He tucks the hair that has fallen out of your hat back underneath it; his jaw is clenched. He places his hand on your wrist and says, “Keep your head low and follow me.”

—

Ser Criston leads you down a dark hallway in the white sword tower that is almost empty, aside from a few off-duty knights who were accompanied by what appeared to be ladies from pillow houses. When you reach the knight's own quarters, he quickly ushers you inside and locks the door behind him.

“Ser Criston…”

The look on his face was very telling; his dark eyes were hazy. Criston gave a low, guttural growl. “What in God's name were you thinking? Anything could have happened to you. Your reputation would have been destroyed if anyone spotted you.”

“You followed me?”

His nostrils flare. “Do you know how many dark alleys you walked down? How dangerous those places are?”

It feels as if your heart is swelling in your chest. How could you even begin to explain? You feel so small and weak. Fragile in a way that was unacceptable for a Targaryen princess to be. You pull the thick hat off your head, letting your now messy and sweaty hair fall around your face, and sit on the edge of the knight's bed.

“You followed me.” It wasn’t a question, but a fact. Ser Criston wouldn’t have known where you were unless he did. As a princess, you most certainly didn’t need to defend your actions to anyone other than the king, but the thought of your sworn shield possibly losing faith in the trust you had built did bother you. Gulping down, you toy with a thread on the sleeve of the worn out shirt, “I wasn’t going to visit those places for pleasure. How did you know? I had dismissed you for the evening.”

“I overheard the knights changing shifts mentioning that your lady-in-waiting was watching over Princess Meera. And put the pieces of you being somewhere you shouldn't be together.” Seeing tears swell in your eyes, the knight crouches down so he’s eye level with you, his expression softening. “If her grace found out you had visited the streets of Silk, I’m afraid history would repeat itself.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighs, “I was the knight on duty to protect Princess Rhaenyra the night she snuck into the city with Prince Daemon. Word got out that she had been spotted in the bowels of a brother with her uncle, and her life became miserable. I do not wish to overstep, but the princess gave those who seek to destroy her reputation the means to do so.”

“Daemon and Rhaenyra are twin flames; they are both restless. I don’t believe anything you could have done would have changed the actions they take,” you say softly. “My actions might have seemed headless, but I had my reasons.”

“I’ve told you before, princess, I cannot do my duty and protect you if I’m unaware of where you are.”

“Are you trying to say you would have accompanied me to a brothel, Ser Criston?” You joke, “I imagine that would have been more scandalous.”

The knight says nothing. No words leave his mouth, but he’s silently waiting for you to explain.

“As of late, it’s been noted by many that I’ve yet to do my duty and give Gwayne a child. I went to see if he has any bastards, and he has not fathered any children.”

A look of understanding passes through his features.

“Ser Gwayne’s is no Maegor the cruel; they won’t allow him to keep adding on wives until he finally has an heir. I will be blamed, and then I will be replaced by another after my sudden and tragic death.”

“Princess, I don’t believe you would be blamed—”

You cut him off with a look. “Ser Criston, do you know how many Targaryen women die at a young age? Do not believe they are all linked to childbirth, like the maesters say. The maesters and the faith hate us because they believe our dragons make us closer to gods than men; the power we hold is a threat. With one word, we could destroy houses, which is why the Hightowers have been trying to latch onto House Targaryen for years. It’s why I’m not letting Meera marry anyone other than a Stark.” A moment of silence passes, and you chuckle to yourself, “You must now think I’m crazy.”

He shakes his head and says, “I don’t. I think you’re a mother wanting to keep her child safe.”

“If I was able to perform my duty, I would be able to keep Meera safe, but now... I’m unsure what to do.” You meet Criston’s gaze and are surprised to see a fearsome look in his eyes.

“I would do anything to protect you, princess.”

[kimi240302]

Craving

A/N: Before you read this story, be aware I am from Germany and can't write a bit of English. That's why I'm sending this through an app that translates it for me.

A/N2.0: In this story, the characters are all a little older.

Summary: Y/N Swan tries everything to keep her promise to stay away from Demetri Volturi. But can you stay away from the man fate bound you to?

Demetri Volturi x Female!Swan!reader

Words: 3,4k

Main Post / Twilight Masterlist / Request list / Playlist 

Part 2 of Daylight Masterlist 

18+ I am new to the whole smut writing so please be nice  

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Tellin' myself it's the last time Can you spare any mercy that you might find If I'm down on my knees again? Deep down, way down, Lord, I try Try to follow your light, but it's night time Please, don't leave me in the end

- David Kushner 

"Y/N?!”

Startled, the young girl flinched. Her gaze, which she had directed outside the entire time, turned to the whiteboard, and therefore to her scowling teacher. When Y/N noticed that the whole classroom was looking at her in a wait-and-see manner, her cheeks turned red as she shrank slightly into herself.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Porter, I wasn't listening." Shaking her head, the teacher sighed. "That's been happening to you quite a bit lately Miss Swan!" Embarrassed, since all the attention was still on her, Y/N just shook her head apologetically. "Just pay attention from now on. The things we discuss today will come up in next week's exam."  Y/N sat up a little straighter, took out her pen from her bag, and pulled her notebook towards her, which made the teacher smile contentedly and continue with the lesson.

For fifteen minutes, Y/N was able to focus on what was going on in front of her, until her gaze turned back outside and her thoughts drifted back to Demetri. As she did so, her hand settled, as if by itself, on the spot where Demetri's lips had touched her skin. Her eyes closed and the memories came back. It almost seemed to her as if Demetri was here in the same room with her, very close again.

Annoyed, Y/N exhaled, opened her eyes and dropped her hand. Three weeks had passed since the meeting with Demetri in the library. Three weeks of pure torture, as Y/N no longer knew exactly where she stood, what she felt, or what exactly she wanted.

Then to top it all off, the young girl felt guilty towards her sister for indirectly breaking her promise. While it had been Demetri who had sought her out, Y/N hadn't really done anything about his closeness either, or really found it disturbing. Y/N therefore kept inventing excuses not to talk to Bella for more than half an hour to an hour, even skipping a phone call here and there. Bella, surprisingly, ignored this. She probably thought Y/N had a lot to do with school, which was true somewhere.

On the other hand, Y/N was overwhelmed with what she was feeling. She missed the feel of Demetri's body against hers. She missed his hands holding her, his lips on her skin, and his presence. Y/N even had to admit that she searched for him whenever she was out.

Yet it was almost as if Demetri Volturi no longer existed. As if he had disappeared from the scene and the only thing he had left behind was desire and words that Y/N did not understand, or rather did not want to understand.

"How long can you hide your sins from the light of day?"

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"You should come out to party with us." Mara, a friend of Y/N, looked at her piercingly. "You've been going out for two weeks only to go to school, and even there you're absent the entire time and hardly talk."

Annoyed, Y/N released air from her lungs as she flopped down on her bed. "I just don't feel like doing anything else. Everyone has that once, it'll pass."

Mara jumped up from the chair she had been sitting on for the past hour and tried to coax Y/N into doing something other than just lying around in her room. Her fingers encircled Y/N's ankles. With a strong tug, Mara pulled Y/N off her bed.

Startled, she let out a scream as she plopped to the floor. Silence reigned for a moment until the two friends looked at each other and burst out laughing. Mara lay down on the floor next to the laughing Y/N, as she couldn't stop laughing either.

Both friends looked at the ceiling, trying to get their breathing under control as they slowly calmed down.

"What's it like?" Confused, Y/N turned her head in Mara's direction. "What exactly?" Her friend looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I have a big sister Y/N, I know what heartbreak looks like. I'm just wondering what it feels like. I've never been in love, so I can't understand someone wanting to pull away from everything and everyone because of it."  Y/N turned her gaze back to the ceiling. Clearing her throat briefly, she tried to collect herself. "It's more complicated than heartbreak." The young girl took one deep breath. "You have to imagine that I never really knew who I was at home. I felt lost, which I still do from time to time." Y/N fell silent. Saddened and depressed by her own words, even if they spoke the truth.

"Why?" "Bella always cast a shadow over me. She was all my parents saw. I tried to step out of it, but every time I did, I stood in it again. So I gave it up and just lived in it. When I met Demetri, that's his name, I had the feeling of being seen for the first time. Really seen. I wasn't Bella's little sister anymore, I was just Y/N." Smiling, she closed her eyes and remembered back to the day she had first seen the vampire.

A cold hand placed itself under Y/N's chin and lifted it. This forced the young girl to look up. Her fingers tightened in the fabric of her bag as she looked into a pair of red eyes. "What's your name Chéri?" At the blond-haired man's voice, a shiver ran down her spine. "Y/N...." Her voice was soft.

With a soft smile, Demetri released her chin and brushed a tangled strand of hair behind her ear. "You're even more beautiful than I imagined."

"What's it like to be around him?" "It feels like coming home. When he's around me, it's like I can finally take a breath." Y/N gave a soft laugh. Confused, Mara looked at her, "What is it?" "At the risk of sounding ridiculous, when Demetri touches me it's like he reminds me that I'm alive and not just existing. His touches almost burn, and they continue to do so long after he's gone."

Mara was silent again for a moment. "That doesn't sound ridiculous. On the contrary it sounds beautiful, like a connection anyone would want to have. But then why are you sad?" "My family is against it." Mara exhaled in annoyance. "You mean your sister is against it."  "And a few other people I care about, or at least used to." Y/N's expression changed to a sad one. "So what's the plan? To forget him." The young girl just nods.

Mara, sighing, nudged her friend in the ribs with her elbow, making Y/N wince.

"Now let's be honest, let's go to the club today. The others are coming too. The first step towards oblivion." Y/N rubbed the spot where Mara's elbow had hit her.  "If I come with you, will you promise not to be violent towards me anymore?"

Playfully thoughtful, Mara put a hand to her chin and considered for a few seconds.

"If I have to..." Dramatically, the hand moved from her chin to her chest. "I promise to behave towards you!"

Rolling her eyes, Y/N grabbed the pillow, which had fallen on the floor with her earlier, and threw it in Mara's face.

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"Look who decided to join us for the night!" Mara spread her arms and showed her group of friends Y/N, immediately they all started cheering. "The lost child has returned!" Y/N rolled her eyes and plopped down next to Mick on the bench in the club. "I only skipped one club visit!" She had to raise her voice to fight the music. "One too many!" called Mick back, pressing his fresh beer into her hand. He put his arm on her shoulders and lifted the other beer to toast with the others.

As the evening went on, more and more alcohol flowed. Which helped Y/N lose any thought of Demetri and her confusing feelings for him.

With her eyes closed, Y/N moved to the tune of the music. The darkness that surrounded her, broken only by green and red lights every few seconds, made her feel safe and out of reach. Y/N felt free for the first time. No vampire drama could find her here. It was just her and her friends here.

The bodies around her, the young girl was already not even aware of, as well as the smell of sweat and alcohol. Smiling, she raised her arms in the air. 

Y/N's peace was quickly shattered. Startled, she flinched when two hands came to her hips. Her arms dropped down so she could put her hands over the stranger's and push them away. But as her skin touched the stranger's and she felt the familiar cold, the young girl literally sank into the body behind her. An unfamiliar feeling of relief spread through her.

"Demetri..."

His name was no more than a whisper, but Y/N knew he had heard her. After all, he was a vampire. The grip on her hips strengthened as if to assure her that it was really him, that he was really behind her and was not just an illusion.

"What do you think you're doing here Trésor?" Goosebumps formed on Y/N's skin. Tightening her grip on his hands, she sought the hold to steady herself. "Trying to forget." She murmured, not stopping to move, forcing Demetri to follow her lead.

The vampire snorted in amusement. His left hand settled on Y/N's stomach, where he applied enough pressure to keep Y/N's back against his chest. Demetri also released his right hand from her hip and let his fingertips travel upward just a few millimeters over the filmy fabric of Y/N's black blouse. When his fingers stopped at the exposed cleavage that started just below her breasts, Y/N had to gasp. Demetri's lips hovered just inches from her ear. "What are you trying to forget?"

Carefully almost, as if the vampire was afraid his mate would shatter like glass, he touched the exposed skin, between her breasts. Slowly his fingers slid up. Y/N bit her lip gently. She didn't want Demetri to know how much influence he had on her. However, the young girl quickly lost her focus as Demetri's fingers slid over her collarbone. Out of instinct, she grabbed Demetri's right arm, causing him to pause in his movement.

"I wanted to forget you." Her words sounded breathless and desperate. Demetri laughed, "And you really thought for a second that I would let this happen?" The vampire lowered his head. As he did so, he let his lips run over Y/N's cheek and chin. Arriving at her neck, he lowered his lips to her pulse point without further thought. Without hurting her he sucked his mouth there to make a mark on her. The young girl's eyes widened before she closed them. Her body automatically pressed even closer to his as Y/N's grip tightened on Demetri's arm.

"Good luck forgetting now." Demetri had moved away from her neck and taken his arms from her. Confused and slightly backward staggering, Y/N opened her eyes and at the lack of presence behind her, turned around. Only to find that Demetri had disappeared and left her behind  once again.

"He can't be serious now!"

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The young Swan girl felt as if a bucket of water had been poured over her head. Any signs of being drunk had disappeared and been replaced by a feeling of emptiness.

Slamming her apartment door behind her, Y/N shook her shoes off her feet. She had told her friends a half-hearted excuse, gotten out of the club into the next best cab, and headed home.

Tired, Y/N leaned against her front door. Her gaze slid around her dark apartment. Sighing, her head lightly banged on the door behind her. Tears came to her eyes as she realized how lonely she actually felt. Y/N didn't miss Forks, her sister, her father, or her friends, though. She was missing Demetri. Which made no sense from her point of view, since they were both never in the same place for more than half an hour.

Shaking her head, Y/N pushed herself away from her door, banished her way through the still dark apartment to the bathroom, and slowly began to undress in the process. She wanted nothing more than to wash the evening off her skin. The alcohol, her sweat, and the feeling of what Demetri had left on her skin. As she walked past her bedroom window, Y/N opened it to let the evening air in and since she lived on the fifth floor she didn't worry about anyone getting into her apartment.

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With a towel tied around her body, Y/N stood stunned in front of her bathroom mirror.

""This bloody..."" Twisting her neck a bit to the side, she looked at the red mark on her neck. Gasping, she propped her hands on the sink. "A hickey? Seriously!"

Shaking her head in front of her, she tugged on her towel again and left the bathroom to get dressed in her bedroom. Just as she was about to open her closet door to look for her sleeping clothes, a voice familiar to her was heard.

"Mon amour you should not leave your window open like that. Someone might come in here unannounced."

With a cry, the young girl turned to her bed. Stunned, Y/N looked at the vampire. Demetri had made himself comfortable on her bed. His hands were clasped behind the back of his head as he watched her with a satisfied grin.

"I live on the fifth floor! No one can get in there just like that. Except crazy vampires who don't know what privacy is!"

Angrily, she braced her hands on her hips. Demetri raised an eyebrow. "I thought the window was an invitation for me. After all, we both know that the height of your apartment is nothing that can stop me."  Several times Y/N blinked as she processed Demetri's words.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Y/N, enraged, grabbed the nearest object that fell into her fingers and threw it at Demetri. The latter jumped up from the bed to avoid the book Y/N threw at him.

"Mon amour you know that can't hurt me, right?" With an annoyed snort, Y/N grabbed her other textbook and aimed it at Demetri again. "I don't care!" Demetri ducked his head, repositioned himself properly, and looked after the book that had knocked a vase onto the floor.

"Think about your decor Y/N." Demetri's grin seemed to make the young girl even angrier. By the third time she turned to grab something and throw it at the vampire, Demetri had had enough. He closed the distance between them and stood directly in front of her.

Y/N, who was just turning back to face him, startled, dropped the book from her hand, and took an avoiding step backward. The skin on her back touched the cold wood, of her closet. This reminded her that she was still standing in front of Demetri in only a towel. Y/N's hands grasped the top hem of the towel and pulled it closer to her skin.

"Why are you here Demetri?" Y/N uttered her words only softly, with an uncertain tone. Demetri could even hear an anxious undertone. He stepped over the inches of distance that still existed between the two. The vampire raised his hand to Y/N's cheek, which made her close her eyes. The trembling of her body became more obvious and Demetri had to admit to himself that this reaction of his mate hurt him.

"Open your eyes Y/N." Demetri rested his forehead against Y/N's as he whispered his next words. "I beg you, don't be afraid of me." The young girl's eyes flew open. She had to swallow because of the closeness of their faces and the intensity of Demetri's gaze.

"Then give me a reason not to be afraid."

Demetri's free hand rested against Y/N's other cheek as he released his forehead from hers. Without hesitating any further, he lowered his lips to those of his mate. Instantly Y/N tensed and Demetri feared that he had gone too far. But Y/N leaned more toward him. Her chest pressed against his to keep her towel where it was as she wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss as passionately as Demetri had.

The vampire's hands dropped down to Y/N's hips.

When they both broke away from each other, Demetri stopped with his lips just inches from hers. Y/N opened her eyes, letting her right arm slide down Demetri's chest. The vampire inhaled, even though he didn't have to, not breaking eye contact with Y/N for a second. "I would never hurt you Y/N. I'm not the monster the Cullens want me to be."

Y/N placed her right hand on Demetri's cheek. Her fingertips gently ran over his skin. With a smile, Y/N watched as Demetri's eyes closed as he leaned into her touch. She realized that he felt the same in her presence as she did in his, comfort.

Y/N leaned closer to Demetri with her face getting closer and closer to him. Just as the young girl was about to close her eyes, a ringing interrupted her. Startled, Y/N flinched and separated herself from Demetri. The latter opened his eyes annoyed when Y/N took her hands from him, put them back to the towel and detached herself from his body. Demetri let go of her, watching as Y/N went to her cell phone, picked it up and read the name. "Bella..."

Shaking his head, he walked back toward her. "Don't answer it." Uncertain, his mate looked at him as her fingers tightened around her phone. Demetri had enough of Bella, enough of the promise of what she had taken from his mate, and enough of waiting. He grabbed Y/N`s face between his hands again, pulling her body towards him and letting his lips meet hers. Startled by her mate's rudeness, she dropped the phone on the floor between them. Her fingers buried themselves in the thick material of Demetri's top, at his waist.

"Tonight you're all mine, tonight it's just the two of us!"

Demetri bent Y/N's head slightly to the side with his right hand. Immediately he lowered his lips to the skin on her neck, causing his mate to groan. Meanwhile, his hands wandered over her shoulders to the top saun of the towel, where he untied the knot Y/N had made in it to make sure the fabric stayed where it was.

Y/N shuddered as she felt the fabric of the towel loosen around her body. With trembling fingers she pushed herself away from Demetri. Confused, he looked at her and wanted to protest, but fell silent when Y/N's fingers went to the first button of his shirt and opened it. They both looked into each other's eyes while she repeated this with the other buttons. Carefully, Y/N ran the exposed skin back up as she undid the last button. As she did so, she could swear Demetri gasped several times. Arriving at his shoulders, she slipped the shirt off his body. She let her fingers wander further up his neck and pulled him down to her. This time it was Y/N who deepened the kiss directly as Demetri's hands worked their way down to her thighs. He lifted her up without breaking the kiss and placed her on the bed behind them.

The vampire and his mate created their own little world that night under the protection of her darkness. A world where Bella and the Cullens were forgotten. Where Y/N's fears for the future had no place. Where the ringing of Y/N's cell phone was ignored and where she belonged completely to Demetri.

A world that shattered with the first rays of daylight. When Y/N opened her eyes, she was aware not only of the burning sensation left by Demetri's touch, but also of the tightness in her lungs. She had betrayed her sister.

Y/N turned in bed to face her window. The side of the bed on which Demetri had been lying was cold, but not empty. A note lay on the pillow. Confused, the young girl straightened up, grabbed it and read it.

"Daylight exposes your sins more and more, so why still try to hide them in the darkness?"

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I will write a Part 3

@twilightlover2007​ @ssnapsaurus @svtbpbts

@xxx-wounded-angel-xxx  @ms-sasa​

[brownbearwrites]

stay here by my side

pairing: atwow!neteyam x omatikaya!reader neteyam discovers that his family is leaving the clan, but he doesn't want to leave the reader behind. together, they work something out. word count: 1.4k notes: this is my first ever neteyam fic you guys! I'm so so excited to share it with you all. I am planning a part two to this, so please do let me know if you're interested in that. I hope you'll all enjoy reading this :)

Neteyam pulls himself away from where he’s crouched among his siblings, untangling himself from where they’re all huddled together behind their family’s shared hut. He slowly rights himself, Tuk’s small hand slipping from his, and his own tail unwrapping from where it had been curled around Lo’ak’s calf. He draws in a shuddering breath, attempting to calm his reeling mind.

They were truly leaving the forest. 

Neteyam and his siblings had been secretly listening in on their parents for the better part of an hour now, Jake and Neytiri’s upset voices just loud enough to hear from the children’s concealed position. Somewhere deep within himself, when he first heard the argument begin, Neteyam had not believed that his father would win. Neteyam knew his mother well and knew that she loved the forest with all of her being. And yet, they would now be leaving it all behind.

He catches Kiri’s eye as he slowly backs away, his sister’s brow furrowed and her eyes shining with the same worry which has quickly found a home within Neteyam’s own chest. He knows he should stay, that he should comfort his distressed siblings. He knows, better than anyone around him realizes, that—as the eldest brother—it is his responsibility to care for them. Neteyam knows that that is exactly where his problem lies. He has a keen awareness of what he should do, but in times like these, he cannot find the strength within himself to ignore his own desires in order to do what is expected of him.

And so, Neteyam runs. His feet carry him along a path he’s traveled many times. He passes hut after hut, and yet none of them succeed in pulling his attention. Neteyam knows where he’s going, though he isn’t yet sure what he’ll do once he arrives there. Not before long, he finds himself coming to a still at the entrance of one hut in particular; your home. He pulls away the covering which shields the opening of the hut from the outside world, his hands shaking against the rough material. Neteyam’s eyes find you quickly in the fire-lit interior of the home, where your hands are expertly working on a small beading project—the majority of the intricately woven material resting on your thighs. Your head rises in awareness of Neteyam’s presence, a small smile gracing your face as you recognize him, before it quickly drops again when you take in the state of him. His chest is heaving with every hurried breath he takes, his body trembling in the gentle light of the stars behind him. Never before have you seen him in such a state of terror. You glance around you, making sure that the other inhabitants of your hut are still soundly asleep, before abandoning your bead work and rising to your feet. 

You quietly make your way over to Neteyam, watching as he steps aside, allowing you to step out into the cooling air of the night. Behind you, you hear the hut covering falling back into place. You gently raise your hand to cradle the warm skin of Neteyam’s cheek, your concern evident on your face.

“What is wrong, my love?” you softly inquire.

At the sound of your voice, Neteyam’s eyelids momentarily flutter shut. When his eyes open once again, they are filled with a look of deep sadness. Whatever it is that has caused this, you know that it cannot be good. Neteyam’s own hand reaches up to where your thumb is caressing the peak of his cheekbone, his fingers entwining with yours before gently pulling both away.

“We cannot speak here,” he says, “it is not safe for us to be overheard by anyone. Come, we must go somewhere private”. He steps away from your hut, tugging you along with him, as your fingers are still joined together.

As Neteyam guides you away from your home and brings you deeper into the forest, you cannot help but quietly pray to Eywa that she will give you the strength to deal with whatever it is that is troubling your boyfriend. You find peace in your prayer; so much so that, once you arrive at what you quickly recognize as your and Neteyam’s favorite spot, you have regained a semblance of calmness deep within yourself. You sit yourself down on the soft forest floor, pulling Neteyam down with you so that you sit opposite each other. You grasp his, much bigger, hands in yours, hoping that the physical touch will calm him.

His eyes meet yours as he speaks.

“I just overheard my parents speak. My father wishes for us to leave the clan behind and run from the skypeople. He hopes that, if we do so, we might protect the Omatikaya people from further harm. My father believes that another clan, far away from here, might grant us asylum. If he is right, my love, this means we will not return. I will never see you again”.

As Neteyam’s words fully sink into your mind, you cannot help but begin to let tears fall from your eyes. If Neteyam left, you would be all alone again. Your father had died long ago in the fight against the sky people, leaving your then-pregnant mother a widow. A few years ago when she too, after a long and grueling illness, had passed, you had become an orphan. You had spent many years in the tribe feeling as if you did not belong, as if no one would ever truly love you. But then, Neteyam had shown an interest in you. He had been convinced that you did indeed deserve to be loved, and in turn, he had made it his mission to love you. And now, when you had finally allowed someone new into your heart, he too would be ripped away from you.

You let out a sob, squeezing onto Neteyam’s hands as if to anchor yourself. In front of you, Neteyam bit his lip as he too began to cry. Whether it was you or him who initiated the hug you don’t know, but before long you and Neteyam were wrapped up in each other's arms, sharing your grief. You’re unsure how much time passed before the two of you finally unfurled yourselves from each other. Still, you are at a loss for what you should do.

“I cannot lose you,” you whisper to him, your voice breaking under the weight of your sorrow. “I will not survive it. I feel it in my heart, Neteyam, Eywa means for us to be together. If we are truly separated, I will not know what to do with myself”.

Neteyam gives your hands a sudden reassuring squeeze, making your eyes flicker up to meet his.

“What if we won’t have to be separated?” he offers.

Your brow furrows in confusion, unsure of what Neteyam is hinting at. You recognize the gleam in his eyes, though; it is that familiar sudden look of inspiration which strikes him in times of trouble, which is now once more grazing his face. He shoots you a watery smile as he continues, “You said it yourself, Eywa would not want to separate us. I know it’s true, I can feel it just as much as you do. So, what if we asked her to keep us together? To bond us? My parents will not want to separate us is we are mated. You would be able to come with me.”

You let out a sigh, “Teyam, we haven’t completed our rite of passage. You know as well as I do that we cannot mate until we complete it. That will take at least another two years, and I strongly doubt your parents will stay with the clan for another two weeks—let alone two whole years! No matter how much I wish to one day be your mate, Eywa will not allow us to mate before we are deemed ready”.

“What if she does believe that we are ready?” Neteyam says in defiance, “What if she has made an exception for us, and that is why we feel this way? My love, we have to try”.

You take a deep breath, release your hands from where they are cradled in Neteyam’s, and wipe your face clean of your tears. You’re aware that, whatever it is that your future may hold, it will not be easy. Still, as you sit there opposite Neteyam, you know that whatever hardships may befall you, you’ll be able to overcome them as long as you have him by your side.

And so, you nod.

“Well, then—what are we waiting for?”

[f1daydreamers]

𝐀 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 [𝐋𝐒𝟏𝟖] 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

photo credits: Pinterest

Pairing: Lance Stroll x Fem!Reader

Summary: Asking the driver of the team you work for to attend a wedding with you as your fake date is possibly one of the dumbest ideas you’ve had ever.. but also one of the best.

Warnings: fluff, friends to lovers, one bed trope oop

A/N: Thank you all so much for the love on the first chapter, you guys are incredible :') Here's Part 1 if you haven't read it yet or want a recap!

Word Count: 2.1k (8 minutes reading time avg)

…

"Your Dad, your sister, your brother, they're great." You didn't add anything on to Lance's sentence, heading out of the venue your brother had extravangantly booked for a rehearsal dinner.

Being a lawyer marrying a real estate agent must have its perks.

"Your mum is.. certainly a character." You scoffed, knowing he probably had no intention of clearing up what he meant, assuming you'd understand what he was trying to say.

The sun had barely begun setting, the weather was cooler, and your home wasn't that much of a walk so somewhere between the few minutes it took for you both to leave the venue and reach the corner of the street, you decided walking would be the best option.

Lance just inattentively followed you, knowing you were his only navigation system.

He took a few brisk steps to catch up with your pace, the only comfort offered to you that you'd accept after a long day would be under the covers of your bed.

"In a rush?" You exhaled through your mouth, watching the puff of air escape from your lips.

"No, just want this day to end." You felt bitter about how your mother was acting, ignoring Lance then shooting you looks as if you were in the wrong was so typical of her.

Yet you were still surprised she'd go that low on such a celebratory occasion.

"You're.. chipper." The corner of your mouth twitched upwards and you mumbled a barely coherent word of confusion.

Lance laughed at your expression, "I heard one of your uncles say it, I like it."

You breathily laughed, shaking your head. "Trust me, no one says that anymore. My uncle uses slang he thinks would make him fit in. It doesn't."

He shrugs, stretching his arms outwards and only satisfied when he hears an expected 'pop' sound. "I think he's pretty cool."

Your lips curve into a smile, turning your head towards Lance who has a similar grin on his lips. "You should tell him that, he'll blush bright red."

You undo the latch to the front gate, pulling it wide open so the F1 driver can slide through, then you shut it behind him.

"Do you have a key?" Lance asks you, hopping up the final step of the patio. He extended your purse out to you in case it was in there but before you could answer his question, you paused.

"Why do you have my purse?" Trying to recall if you handed it to him but nothing sprung to mind.

"You left it on the table, I recognised it from this." He fiddled with the Aston Martin keyring Sebastian left the entire team as a parting gift in Abu Dhabi last year.

He brought it to your line of sight, proudly smiling.

You smiled back at him, "sharp eye Stroll."

"Thank you darling." That same look of confusion arose on your face again.

You looked away, your face warming slightly as you kicked the corner of the doormat to reveal a familiar key beneath it.

"Another one of my Uncle's terms of endearment?" He chuckled from behind you, the keyring making a faint clank sound as it hit the chain of your crossbody bag.

"Afraid so." You shook your head for the second time in this conversation, bending over to grasp the key between the pads of your index finger and thumb.

Slotting it into the hole, you pushed the door open and similarly to before, Lance easily maneuvered inside and past you.

He toed off his sneakers and picked them up with his two fingers hooked into the back.

You pulled open the drawer to the shoe rack, and he pushed them inside one of the empty spaces. You followed in his movements.

"Hungry? Thirsty?" He accompanied you to the kitchen. You flicked on the light switch and he went over to the kitchen island, leaning his elbows on the cold marble counter.

"Nah, I ate my weight in almonds already." He grinned, watching you pull out a jug from the fridge.

"Sucks having a rehearsal dinner with no dinner." You commented.

You poured yourself a glass of some freshly-squeezed apple juice. Your mum was always hellbent on having fresh everything when you were growing up, guess that habit still hadn't faded over time.

After a brief moment of chatter, you slung your bag around your neck, both you and Lance ascending the stairs to your bedroom.

As you pushed the door open and your hand searched for the light switch on the wall, you came to a sudden halt when the room was eventually illuminated.

Your heart sank to your stomach as you stared at the double bed in the center of your room.

He shut the door, wondering why you'd stopped moving all of a sudden before the realisation dawned on him and his words faltered halfway in his throat.

You glanced at him as his shoulder ghosted yours to stand besides you, his gaze met yours and both of you had a very similar look on your faces: the one that said 'this wasn't part of the deal'.

"Do you want me to open a window? It's a bit stuffy in here." He nonchalantly questioned.

You refrained from telling him that it wasn't stuffy because of the humidity, it was stuffy because there was an obvious elephant in the room that needed to be addressed.

You don't answer him, your mind in somewhat of a haze as you're trying to comprehend when the fuck two twin beds that you remember moving out from suddenly turned into one double bed.

"I'll open a window." Lance states, passing the inanimate bane of your existence to crack open one of the windows.

The idea of sharing a bed brought on a sudden discomfort, and without obvious reason. You'd shared beds with so many people before; friends, cousins, on sleepovers, girls' nights.

You dismiss the memories of physical contact earlier: Lance's hand resting on your thigh, fingers intertwined, and his touch on your back.

Consequently, you also disregarded the subsequent surge of butterflies in your stomach.

Those butterflies could have been easily set aside as mere surprise, and you also had no intention of experiencing them again. It took a considerable effort to convince the F1 driver to accompany you as your pretend date for a four-day weekend, so the thought of him ever entertaining any connection with you seemed entirely implausible.

Plus, you don't even like him like that.

Lance noticed you deeply lost in thought, biting the inside of his cheek.

"I can take the floor." Your eyes snap up to him stood on the other side of the room, leaned against the window pane.

Your eyes then flicker to the wooden flooring beneath your feet, shuddering while imagining how wildly uncomfortable that would be for a whole night, nevermind three nights.

"It's cold, and hard."

He shrugged, not caring much for his own discomfort. He reached over to grab his gym bag besides your suitcase, your parents had brought them in from your car this morning.

He unzipped the front pocket, fishing out his toothbrush.

"I dragged you out here so the least I can do is give you a bed to sleep in. I'll take the floor."

Lance hummed in disagreement, giving you a firm look. "Nope, not happening."

He pulled off his hoodie and dropped it on top of his gym bag, heading straight for the bathroom, already knowing where it was having had it shown to him before by your sister.

You took the time to change into your pajamas, digging through your open suitcase for your toiletry bag and simultaneously waiting for him to finish up in the bathroom.

After he had, he entered your bedroom once more and you found yourself staring at his bare arms, flexing with every little movement as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

The image of his muscles burned into your mind as you swiftly exited the room and set foot into the bathroom, locking it. You exhaled a shaky breath, taking out your toothbrush from your bag of skincare.

As you brushed your teeth then veered off into your skincare routine that followed, you only prayed that this weekend would go by quickly and smoothly. Something you'd been praying for since your brother had announced the dates of the ceremony.

After you finished up, you turned the light switch off and with a hesitant movement in your feet, you pushed open the bedroom door that hadn't been closed the entire way. Yet.

You saw Lance preparing to lie on the floor and told him to wait, hoping that if your parents hadn't been clearing out the remnants of your wardrobe as they had been with your bed, you'd find..

"Yes!" You exclaimed, tugging out the air mattress, keeping a hand on the tower of clothes you never took with you. Lance helped before laughing, you met his eyes as you lay the deflated cloud on your floor.

"Why do you have an air mattress in your room?" You blushed, "because of my sleepovers. I bought it spontaneously and look, now there's a purpose for it."

"Pump?" You whisked around again, now on your tiptoes as you tried to feel around the top of your wardrobe for a familiar cardboard box but ultimately failing because of your height, or lack thereof.

"Let me," Lance interrupted, extending his arm easily to the top. You looked down to the floor so your gaze wouldn't fixate on his bare bicep twice this evening, and eventually he lowered the box so it was within your grasp.

After pumping up the mattress, pulling on a fitted sheet and throwing him two of your pillows, you also threw him your thicker duvet.

Before he could complain, you stopped him. "I took the bed, you take the duvet. I've got a blanket." He gave in, sorting it out on his bed for the night, laying on his back after what felt like days.

You slipped into your blanket, resting your head on your pillow.

"Y/N?" You hum in return to his call of your name, turning your head to see him staring at the ceiling.

"The light's still on." You chuckled but before you could swing your legs over to the side, Lance was already up and going over to the far wall.

"Thanks." You add. He cautiously steps in darkness back over, careful as to not hit anything or hurt himself.

...

You wake up to find sunlight peaking through your windows, the cause of your slumber coming to its eventual end. But the man who fell asleep beneath the window isn't there, the blanket half falling off of the air mattress, the pillows tilted slightly.

Your eyebrows furrow when your eyes adjust to your room, but you also manage to half-remember that the blanket you were seeing on Lance's mattress was the one you'd fell asleep with a mere 8 hours ago.

The duvet you'd thrown at him now covering everything below your hips. You realised he must've swapped them at some point during the night when you were sound asleep.

After a few minutes, you sat up on your bed and left to brush your teeth, retying your hair into a low bun and splashing cold water over your face.

You skipped down the stairs, walking into the kitchen where most of the voices you were hearing were coming from, Lance's distinguishable accent being one of them.

"Morning sleepy," you smiled at him as he turned away from you and to the coffee machine, looking around to see only your sister and one of your cousins who'd stayed the night meeting your tired gaze.

"Where's mum 'n dad?" Daisy shrugged, "out."

She turned her attention back to your cousin so you headed for Lance, who, with a freshly brewed cup of coffee in his hand, swung around to see you.

You groaned happily at the sight of it, excitedly taking it into your hands. Coffee cheered you up. Lance chuckled, noticing the genuine twinkle in your eyes when he extended the mug out to you.

"Thank you." He nodded, and after a short moment's of silence, you looked at him.

"Did you.. swap the duvet 'round?" You questioned quietly, making sure the others in the kitchen couldn't overhear.

He smiled, taking a swig of his coffee before answering.

"You were shivering." He didn't add on anything else and from the gesture alone, that damned flurry of butterlifes erupted out of their cages again in your stomach.

"Well, I appreciate it. I guess my body did too." You joked, Lance nudging your arm with his elbow, a grin on his lips.

...

Part 3

Masterlist

Comment if you want to be tagged in the next part!

Taglist: @tororossoseb-blog @hiphopdancer101universe @hc-dutch @love4lando @chonkybonky @angstyeighteen @natasharomanoffisbaebby @little-angel-07 @voidskywxlker @flowerchild-96 @vildetry06 @sharllec @aundercover @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @spicyclover @mloyer @alesainz @e-lisa-bettan @hockey-racing-fubol @cinnamonroll2003

[riordanness]

you are in love - [r.singh]

0.9 wordcount

warnings: none

requested: yes! @ravisinghxmee

If you had told me that my sister going on yet another first date would bring me to my love, I would have laughed at you, and rolled my eyes, and decided right then and there that you were wrong.

Turns out though, you would’ve been right.

“Hey Anvi!” I shout down the stairs. “Where’re you going off to?”

My sister shoots daggers as me as our parents step into the walkway. “Anvi?” our mother questions. “Where are you going to?”

Anvi sighs. “I’m going on a date,” she says slowly, gauging their reaction.

I widen my eyes. “Is he hot?” I ask. Anvi catches my eyes, grins, and gives me a nod.

“Can I please go?” she begs our parents. They exchange a look that I’m sure is full of meaning, but I don’t know what that meaning is. I’ve never been great at reading people by their expressions.

“Yes, Vi,” our mother relents a little. “You may go. But be safe, yes?”

Anvi nods hastily and smiles. “Thank you, Mumma! Papa!” She runs out the door, leaving it banging behind her.

I slump against the rail of the staircase, and let out a sigh. I might be only a year younger than my sister, but so far have had absolutely nothing in the way of boys and dates, unlike her.

I don’t know if it’s just me, or if I’m just not supposed to yet. Maybe the right ‘one’ is out there somewhere, and I just have to be patient. Ugh. That’s such a load of nonsense. I’m just trying to convince myself.

“Guys?”

It’s Anvi’s voice, echoing a little through the long walkway. “I am home!”

I get up from the kitchen table, to my mother’s protest, and hurry to the front door. Anvi stands next to a tall, handsome boy with bright eyes.

“This is Sal,” my sister says shyly, giving the boy a sweet smile.

Sal nods his head at us, smiling kindly. “Hello. It’s lovely to meet you all.” He reaches for Anvi’s hand. “I thought it best to walk your daughter home, sir,” he tells our father. “And my mother requested that I invite you all to dinner tomorrow night.”

My mother looks pleased. “We would love to, Sal.”

The boy gives my sister another smile, squeezes her hand, and is gone.

That night, I sit cross legged on our bed as I watch Anvi get dressed. “What was he like?” I ask, bouncing a little on the mattress. “Where did he take you?”

Anvi hasn’t stopped smiling since the date. “It was incredible. He was incredible. He took me to the aquarium.”

My nose wrinkles. “The aquarium? Anvi, that’s super lame.”

My sister shakes her head. “No, it wasn’t! There was a lobster fight on today, so we went to watch that. It was actually the best first date, like ever.” She sighs happily, and flops onto the bed next to me.

“Oh,” she says, sitting up on her elbows. “And he has a younger brother. He’s your age.”

I roll my eyes and throw my pillow at her. “Goodnight Anvi.”

He is gorgeous. And I don’t mean that in a light way. Sal’s younger brother, Ravi Singh, was beautiful. He has dark, laughing eyes, messy hair that looked like he’d just walked through a whirlwind, and the prettiest smile of just about anyone I knew.

I receive one of those smiles when we’re introduced, and I somehow can’t not return it.

We’re seated side by side at dinner, Anvi and Sal across from us. All throughout the first course, Ravi and I barely speak of anything but small things such as the weather, and school, and what jobs we want after soon is over.

I am not sure how I’ve never noticed Ravi at school before, since we are in the same year and even a few of the same classes. I guess I just wasn’t paying much attention.

Anvi keeps sneaking me teasing glances in between her flirtations with Sal, and I want to kick her under the table and tell her to sod off, but I don’t think it will do any good. Anvi is always making fun of me, but I think she means well.

All in all? Dinner is officially a success in my book.

“So…” Ravi is sitting beside me on the porch swing, one leg resting on the ground, keeping us at a gentle pace.

“So,” I reply, a small smile on my face.

“Tonight was really fun,” he answers, not looking at me, but rather, the lamppost across the street. I watch as a girl with short brown hair and black headphones jogs under the light, then vanishes again into the night.

“Yeah.” I tuck my leg underneath me. “It was.”

“I want to do it again,” Ravi says suddenly, his deep brown eyes meeting my gaze. “I want to get you really know you, y/n.”

A flutter of anticipation swirls inside of me, and all I can do is nod. “I’d love that,” I whisper. “More than anything.”

~ epilogue ~

“Remember how we first met?” Ravi asks, patting our new puppy’s head affectionately as he smiles up at me.

I watch him on the ground with the dog, relaxation resting on my face. My heart does a little skip, skip every time I see Ravi’s smile, and that’s something I don’t think I’ll ever be used to, to be honest.

“Yes,” I say, twirling a finger in Ravi’s hair. “Your brother took my sister to a lobster fight.”

Ravi laughs, stands, and takes both my hands in his. “And you came over for dinner,” he says in a low voice, sending shivers down my back. “And the moment I saw you, my little light, I knew I was hopelessly in love.”

[itendtothinkalot]

confession 3.0

Summary: reader has suppressed her feelings for huening for so long, believing that she could manage without confessing. sooo how will she react when she discovers that kai had gone on a blind date.......

Genre: fluffy

Characters: huening kaix f!reader

Words: 6202

a/n: suUuUuper busy at work rn but i managed to write something rly quick today! i didnt rly proofread or edit this so i'm sorry if thrs errors! also stream #ggum!!!

Completed (oneshot)

Kai, It’s hard to find the right words when I’m about to say something that could change everything between us. But here I am, thinking maybe, just MAYBE, you would feel the same way. (Though, I’m on my period, so maybe I’m reading too much into it.) We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember. You’ve always been my rock, through every high and low. Maybe that’s why it’s taken me so long to see you as more than a friend. But now, I think I’m ready to face the truth. I like you—probably more than a friend should.

It’s been two years since you wrote that letter. You and Kai had just graduated. Maybe it was the adrenaline from graduation, but you wrote it the night he kissed your cheek after you were named valedictorian.

“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!” you heard him yell from the seats. You rolled your eyes as you walked up to get your diploma, but you couldn’t ignore the look in his eyes as he mouthed the words, “I’m so proud of you.”

“The letter’s collecting dust,” Beomgyu teased, lying on your bed, reading the letter you wrote for Kai all those years ago.

“You come to my house, rummage through my memory box, and take out this hellish letter?” You glared at Beomgyu, who knew you were getting irritated. “What are you trying to achieve? If you want me to cry, just call me dumb. I’m on my period anyway.”

“TMI, but I’ll let it slide since I am a huge female supporter.” He chuckled, “But here’s a thought! Give him the letter.”

You snatched the letter from him. “And why would I do that?"

"Why not? It's cute!"

"Cute?"

"Yeah!"

"In what way?" You asked.

"It has like words. And stuff." Beomgyu paused. “Besides, you two belong together! Plus, I need some drama in my life. Ever since Soobin and Yeonjun went to study overseas, things have been so boring.”

"Are you insinuating that Kai, Taehyun, and I are boring?" you asked, deadpan.

"I'm not insinuating. I'm literally telling you that," Beomgyu chuckled, draping his arms over your shoulders like he hadn’t just insulted you.

"You’re an idiot," you scoffed, shaking your head. "Besides, I’m perfectly fine with how things are."

"Oh, you mean staring at him lovingly while he’s eating?" Beomgyu teased, widening his eyes and pouting dramatically, doing his best imitation of you watching Kai.

“I could kill you.”

“But you won’t.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, knowing he was right. It was cruel—the way you felt about Kai. Almost comically so. Falling in love with your best friend felt like a cosmic joke.

“Do you think he likes me back?” You sighed.

“How would I know?” Beomgyu rolled his eyes.

“Well, for starters, you three have guy’s nights.”

“We talk about games. Football. You know, guy stuff. Do we look like the kind of people who talk about feelings?”

“Kinda. Yeah.” 

—

The living room was filled with high pitched screaming (mostly from Beomgyu) as the four of you—Beomgyu, Taehyun, Kai, and you—were completely absorbed in a random game Kai had discovered in a video he had seen somewhere.

Taehyun, with a mischievous grin, leaned back on the couch. “Hey, did you guys hear the news?” 

“What news?” Beomgyu asked, his eyes still locked onto the TV.

“Kai has a girlfriend~” Taehyun sang, before getting elbowed in his stomach.

“Dude!” Kai said, his eyes shifted to you and then to Beomgyu. “It was just a blind date my sister set me up on. It was stupid.” 

Your fingers froze. You glanced over at Taehyun, still grinning as he played, and felt a sudden surge of jealousy. Your hands fumbled with the controller, struggling to keep your composure as your heart raced. You shot a quick look at Kai, whose focus wavered as his eyes were still locked onto your every movement as if waiting for a reaction.

"Why would you bring that up when we’re about to beat the last level?” Kai sighed, his brows furrowing in mild annoyance as his hands tightened around the controller.

Taehyun smirked, leaning back lazily against the couch. “Would you have preferred I brought it up on the first level?” he teased, eyes gleaming with mischief.

Kai rolled his eyes, exhaling in frustration. “It wasn’t a big deal,” he muttered, his voice casual, but there was a slight tension in his posture as if he wanted to brush the subject away quickly.

“So it did happen?” Beomgyu exclaimed, freezing his character mid-air on the screen.

“A couple of days ago,” Taehyun said casually, his attention still on the game. “I was surprised too. He didn’t mention anything about it, I only happened to walk past his little date at the cafe I frequent.”

Kai shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Yeah, it was just a setup my sister arranged. It was... fine.”

You felt a pang of jealousy and frustration, struggling to ignore the growing lump in your throat. You shifted in your seat, trying to refocus on the game, but your movements became increasingly erratic.

Your fingers pressed random buttons, desperately trying to regain control, but it only made things worse. The game character on the screen flailed aimlessly.

“Stop dying! You’re pulling us down!” Taehyun yelled, clearly exasperated with your lack of focus.

The criticism hit a nerve, and you snapped, unable to keep your frustration in check. “Oh, sure, blame it on me, Taehyun! Maybe if you hadn’t brought up Kai’s stupid blind date, I wouldn’t be so distracted!”

Taehyun looked taken aback, his eyes widening in surprise. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s just... annoying!” you shot back, your voice sharp. “I’m trying to focus, and all I can think about is how—”

You suddenly noticed the three boys staring at you with wide eyes.

Realizing you’d let your frustration get the better of you, you quickly backpedaled. “I mean—sorry. I was just distracted,” you said, your voice trailing off awkwardly as you tried to recover from the outburst.

Beomgyu, ever observant, immediately noticed the shift in your demeanor. He shot you a sideways glance.

“Hey,” he said quietly, leaning in a bit closer so only you could hear, “I know you’re upset. Just take a deep breath.”

You met his gaze and saw the empathy in his eyes. 

“Thanks,” you murmured.

Meanwhile, Taehyun was still chatting away about the date, completely oblivious to the tension. “So, how did it go, Kai? Did you have a good time?”

Kai shrugged again, looking a bit uncomfortable. “It was okay. We talked, had dinner. Nothing special.”

You clenched your jaw, trying to mask the jealousy. You had no right to be upset, but the idea of Kai with someone else was expectedly hard to handle.

Like you said, curse.

—

It had been a couple of weeks since you last hung out with Kai, and you'd been avoiding him, using work as an excuse. You hoped everyone bought it, though Beomgyu didn’t seem convinced. But you didn’t care. You had already turned down Friday night dinners twice in a row, and there was no way you could get away with skipping a third time. So here you were, back at their place, feeling a knot of nerves twist in your stomach.

You wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but you were terrified it’d be awkward with Kai. Ever since you found out about his blind date, your feelings had been gnawing at you relentlessly, making every thought of him more painful. You feared how being around him might make those emotions harder to suppress especially since you almost gave yourself away the previous time.

But when you arrived at his house, all your worries evaporated the moment Kai pulled you into a tight bearhug. "I missed you so much!" he exclaimed, his voice warm and genuine. You found yourself melting into the embrace, forgetting every ounce of awkwardness and jealousy. For a brief moment, all that mattered was the familiar comfort of his arms around you, and everything else faded away.

You loved being in his arms. Kai felt like a giant teddy bear, soft and comforting in a way that made you feel safe. You had thought about it many times before—if comfort could take the form of a person, it would be him. His hugs were the kind that melted away stress, and being close to him felt like home. No matter how anxious or upset you were, being in his arms always made you forget, even if just for a little while.

“I missed you too," you fumbled out, your voice softer than intended.

"God! It's been two weeks, but it feels like a year!" he laughed, pulling you over to the sofa. His excitement and warmth made you feel like you’d never been away. 

"I knew you were busy the last couple of weeks," he said, reaching for his phone and opening the notes app. "So I made a list." He grinned, scrolling through it. "Here are just some things you missed during our dinners."

"You wrote them down on your notes app?" you giggled, genuinely amused by the thought of him keeping track of everything just for you.

"Of course," he replied with a playful glint in his eyes. "I can’t leave you out."

You don’t think he realizes just how sweet he is—or how incredibly frustrating it is that he's constantly this sweet. You're pretty sure he has no idea how much you want to scream every time he makes you feel this way. It was maddening, really, how effortlessly he could make your heart race with just a few words or a simple smile.

It had been about an hour since Kai filled you in on the events of the past two weeks. From what you gathered, Beomgyu sharted in his pants when he had diarrhoea from eating at a place down the street and Taehyun got drunk and wasted $500 sending TikTok gifts to Yeonjun during a live dance stream.

It seemed plausible enough. You missed them. Two weeks had passed, but it was more than enough time for you to fully feel their absence. Sure, they checked in on you every day, flooding the group chat, but you didn't respond—afraid you'd accidentally reveal your feelings for Kai. You weren’t about to make that mistake.

Still, you were starting to realize that avoiding them felt incredibly immature. You had forgotten just how much you loved your friends—and how much they loved you. Every part of you wished they wouldn’t change, not even a little. You wanted them to stay exactly as they were, unchanged and constant.

It was possibly why you were so adamant about keeping your feelings for Kai to yourself. The thought of confessing felt risky, one wrong move and the most precious friendship you’ve ever had could shatter. You couldn’t bear to be the one who ruined that.

Still…you wondered, how long you could take before you finally cracked.

“Do you think… we’ll still be friends when we’re older?” you asked, your voice soft and a bit uncertain.

Kai tilted his head, considering the question. “Like Yeonjun old or like my dad old?”

You laughed, trying to clarify, “Like, y’know, further into our adulthood.”

“Like when we have kids?” he asked, his tone casual but with a hint of curiosity.

“We?” Your heart skipped a beat, suddenly racing. The idea of him envisioning a future with you was both exhilarating and terrifying.

“Yeah?” He paused, looking at you with a thoughtful expression. “Like when you have your own family and I have mine.”

You nodded either way.

Kai looked at you with a genuine, reassuring smile. “Why wouldn’t we be?” he asked, his eyes warm and sincere. “We’ve been through so much together. Why wouldn’t we stay friends?”

Sure, you took some sort of comfort from his reassurance but there was a part of you still grappling with the realization that your feelings might never align with his. 

You took a deep breath, forcing a smile as you met his gaze. “Mhm.”

Kai’s smile widened, and he playfully nudged you with his elbow. “C’mon. We’ll still be annoying each other, like always.”

You laughed softly, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

"We won't change."

As you looked over at him, your eyes began to well up with tears. You looked away, pretending that you weren’t actually about to sob. 

Kai’s gaze softened when he noticed the glistening in your eyes. He placed his hands gently on your thigh, as if sensing that something was troubling you, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

“I promise,” he said softly.

“Right…sorry..I’m just–”

“It’s fine. I get it.” He nodded, cutting you off. “You don’t have to explain.”

You often wondered how someone who knew you so well didn’t have any idea that you liked him. The thought was both comforting and frustrating. 

“Anyway, there’s still like 3 more things on my list.” Kai said, showing you his notes app.

You nodded, “All ears!” 

Despite enjoying Kai’s animated recounting of the ridiculous things Beomgyu had done the week before, your mind was a tangled mess of thoughts about his recent blind date.

You tried to focus on the present, nodding and laughing along, but the image of him with someone else kept intruding.

You hesitated, your fingers nervously tracing patterns on the armrest of the sofa. You took a deep breath as you waited for Kai to finally finish his last story. 

“Hey, Kai, can I ask you something?” you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. Your heart pounded in your chest as you waited for his response.

“Sure, what’s up?” he replied, still looking relaxed and upbeat.

“So, about that blind date your sister set you up on…” you began, your tone more serious now. “How did it–um– go?”

Kai’s expression shifted slightly, and he leaned back, thinking for a moment. “Oh, that. It was... okay. We had dinner and talked a bit. It was nice, but nothing special.”

You tried to mask your disappointment, nodding slowly. “I see.”

Kai looked at you with a hint of curiosity. “Why? What’s up?”

You shrugged, forcing a casual tone. “Oh! Nothing. I was just–uh–curious!”

“Well, to be honest,” he started, “the date was actually kind of fun. She was really nice and pretty. We had a good time talking and hanging out. She’s been asking me out on another date, but I’m not sure if I should go.”

You felt a wave of jealousy bubbling inside you, but you tried to keep your voice steady. “That’s nice!” you said, forcing a smile. “You should go.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you winced inwardly, realizing the absurdity of what you’d just said. Here you were, encouraging the guy you had feelings for to go out on another date.

You looked down at your hands, trying to hide the flush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. “I mean… it’s your choice. Do what you think is right,” you stammered, trying to backtrack.

You tried to shake off the discomfort, but the conversation with Kai had left you feeling unsettled. As your phone rang, you seized the opportunity to shift focus.

“Hey, Beomgyu. What’s up?” you answered, trying to sound casual.

“Hey!” Beomgyu’s voice came through the speaker. “Just wanted to let you know we’ve got a busted tire. We’re going to be home 2-3 hours later than usual.”

“Shit, you guys okay?” 

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Beomgyu replied, chuckling. “Taehyun’s totally losing it with his insurance company. It’s kinda hilarious. I’ll send you a video in the group chat.”

You heard Beomgyu laughing, and then Taehyun’s distant shouting.

“Fuck. He’s coming over to yell at me to delete it,” Beomgyu added quickly.

“Yeah, okay,” you said, trying to ignore the awkwardness from earlier. “I’ll see you guys later.”

You hung up and looked over at Kai, who was watching you with a curious expression.

“Well,” you said, attempting to lighten the mood, “looks like it’s just us for dinner tonight.”

Kai grinned, clearly unfazed by the earlier conversation. “Perfect. More time for us to catch up.”

Whatever he had just said did nothing to quell the storm of emotions swirling inside you. You couldn’t help but think, Curse you, Huening Kai, you perfect son of a bitch, as you watched him move about the kitchen, completely unaware of the effect he had on you. 

—

“Can you pass me the salt?” “Hey…” “Dude!”

You suddenly felt a flick on your forehead and snapped out of your thoughts, turning to Kai, who had been trying to get your attention for a while.

“Oh! Yep. You should!” you blurted out. “You should totally try a new hairstyle.”

Kai laughed, the sound warm and reassuring. “We’ve moved on from that topic.” His expression softened as he leaned in, gently placing his hand on your forehead. “You alright? Are you feeling sick?”

His hand was surprisingly warm against your skin, and if his touch lingered even a moment longer, you were certain your cheeks would be hotter than the soup you were drinking. You nodded quickly, trying to brush off the heat rising to your face.

“Are you sure? It feels like you’re getting warmer,” Kai said, his voice tinged with concern.

Embarrassed, you pushed his hand away, the warmth of his touch still lingering. “It’s probably just the summer heat.”

“You sure?” he asked, still looking worried.

You nodded again, trying to sound more convincing. “Yep.”

“Hold on, you have a little…” He leaned in and gently used his thumb to wipe a small crumb from your lip.

The unexpected touch of his thumb against your lip sent a jolt through you. Startled by the sudden closeness and the tender gesture, you fumbled with the bowl of soup. In your flustered state, your hand slipped, and the bowl tipped over. 

You abruptly stood up, wincing as a sharp, stinging pain shot through your foot. “Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, your voice tinged with frustration.

Kai’s face immediately filled with concern. He hurriedly rushed over to your side of the table, reaching for the spilled food and trying to help you clean up. “Are you okay?” he asked, his tone anxious.

“I’m good!” you said quickly, trying to push his hands away. You didn’t want him to see how flustered and embarrassed you were. His touch was warm, but right now, you just wanted to avoid any more attention.

You noticed a flicker of hurt in his eyes before you shook your head, trying to reassure him. “I didn’t mean to—I just—I should go get this cleaned up.” You quickly made your way to the bathroom, your heart pounding as you tried to escape the situation.

You heard Kai’s footsteps follow closely behind you. As you entered the bathroom, he called out, “The first aid’s under the sink.” There was a sigh in his voice, a mixture of frustration and concern. “You sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you through the closed door. “Yep,” you called back, trying to sound more confident than you felt.

Silence continued between the two of you as you carefully bandaged your scalded thigh. The faint rustling of Kai’s movements outside the door made it clear he was still there, waiting.

Then, you heard him whisper, almost too softly to catch, “There’s something wrong between us.”

You stayed silent, not trusting yourself to respond.

A moment later, his voice grew a bit louder as he repeated, “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yep.” You replied.

“You sure we’re okay?” Kai’s voice softened.

You didn’t answer, letting the silence stretch between you. Each second felt like an eternity, your mind racing as you tried to gather your thoughts. You could hear the faint rustling of Kai’s movements outside the door.

Finally, you took a deep breath and emerged from the bathroom, the bandage awkwardly wrapped around your leg. Kai stood there, looking at you with a mixture of worry and something else you couldn’t quite place.

“Sorry about that,” you said, forcing a smile. “It’s just a minor burn. Nothing to worry about.”

Kai’s eyes softened, though he still looked concerned. “It’s not just about the burn, is it?” He stepped closer, his gaze searching yours. “Something’s been off for a while now. I can’t help but feel like you’re distancing yourself from me.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, the vulnerability of the moment making it hard to speak. “It’s complicated,” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotions lately, and I didn’t want to drag you into it.”

Kai’s expression shifted from concern to understanding, and he reached out, gently touching your arm. “You don’t have to go through things alone. If something’s wrong, I want to be here for you. I care about you too much to let things stay this way.”

His words struck a chord, and you felt your resolve begin to crumble. The warmth of his hand on your arm, combined with the sincerity in his eyes, made it hard to hold back your feelings.

“I—” you started, but the words caught in your throat. You looked down, struggling to find the right way to express what you were feeling. “I just… I didn’t want to make things awkward or complicated.”

Kai shook his head slightly, his gaze never leaving yours. "Please,” he whispered. “Just let me share the pain you're going through."

You met his eyes, finally allowing yourself to be vulnerable. “I… I care about you a lot, Kai. More than I thought I could.”

Kai’s expression softened further, and he took a step closer. “I care about you too.”

He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand the implication of what you were trying to say—that you liked him. That you cared about him differently from how you cared about Beomgyu and Taehyun.

You forced a smile. “Thank you. Let’s get back out there.” You nudged his shoulder.

He shook his head. “No.” He gently pulled you back, stopping you in your tracks.

“Kai…”

“No,” he repeated, his grip firm but gentle, careful not to hurt you. He guided you to the wall and leaned you against it softly. “I don’t want to leave it like this. I don’t know what this is, but I don’t feel like we’re okay.”

“We are.”

“You’re lying,” he sighed.

“I’m not—”

“Your eyes,” Kai said softly, “they tell me everything I need to know.”

“Are they telling you anything else?” you asked, your frustration clearly showing. “Since you know me so well, can you read anything else in my eyes?”

“Why are you getting mad at me?” Kai asked, his voice getting slightly louder, confusion and hurt in his voice.

“Because!” you snapped, your voice rising with anger. “Because!”

“Because what?!” Kai shouted back, his own frustration surfacing. “It’s like you don’t even want me around anymore!”

“And who said that? Stop assuming everything about me!” you yelled, your voice trembling with emotion. “Stop acting like you know everything about me!”

“Don’t I?!” he exclaimed, frustration evident in his tone.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “You’re always going on about how much you know me, but do you really? You can’t even—” You paused, the words caught in your throat.

“Can’t even what? Notice that you’re avoiding me?” Kai’s voice was tinged with hurt and confusion.

The room was charged with tension. Your heart raced as you faced each other, your eyes locked with his despite your desperate urge to look away. His voice dripped with anger, and his eyes shimmered with a deep, wounded hurt. 

“Have you or have you not been avoiding me?” Kai asked, his voice dropping to a deeper, more serious tone.

“I wasn’t igno—”

“You’re lying.”

“I wasn’t intentionally ignoring you,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, filled with apprehension.

Kai’s shoulders slumped in defeat, his voice cracking with vulnerability. “W-why? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Listen, whatever I did, I’m sorry—”

"You didn’t do anything." You sighed, burying your face in your hands.

"Then... why have you been avoiding me?" Kai gently pulled your hands away from your face, lifting your chin so you’d meet his gaze. His eyes searched yours.

“I–”

"You don’t think I’ve noticed? How you've barely been texting me, or the group? We used to talk every day. And now, for the past two weeks, it’s just been me... constantly asking about you. And the only person who seems to know anything is Beomgyu. Not even me." His voice cracked with frustration. "It used to be us. Just the two of us against everything. But now—"

“I—I’ve been going through some things on my own. You don’t have to know everything about me, Kai,” you said, your tone sharper than intended.

It almost felt ironic, and just as infuriating, that he stood there acting as if he truly understood you, when he didn’t even realize the most important thing—your feelings. 

“We’re supposed to be best friends. What happened to being friends till we grow old?” Kai’s voice cracked, as if the weight of the words would somehow pull you back to him.

“Some of us don’t want that,” you snapped, your self-restraint finally shattering. The words left your lips before you could stop them, sharp and unforgiving.

Kai froze, staring at you in disbelief. The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable. Slowly, the grip he still had on your arm loosened, his hands falling to his sides, as though the very act of holding on had become too heavy.

“Kai—” you sighed, realizing your words had gone too far.

“No. I’m—I—” he cut you off, sighing heavily as he pushed his hair back. “I’m an idiot.”

“Kai—” you tried again, your voice softer, unsure of how to fix what had just happened.

He stayed silent, inching away from you slowly. Then, without a word, he knelt down to look at your injured leg. “Feel better,” he murmured, gently tracing the edge of the hasty bandage wrapped around your thigh.

He stood up to walk away, the silence between you growing heavier with each step. But just as he turned, your frustration finally boiled over, pushing you past the breaking point. You couldn't hold it in any longer.

With a voice raw and desperate, you shouted, “I LIKE YOU!” Your eyes were wide and your chest heaved with the effort of the outburst. The words seemed to crackle in the air, and your hands clenched into fists at your sides, trembling slightly as the intensity of your emotions took hold.

Kai froze in his tracks, his back still turned to you. The air between you crackled with the weight of your confession, the echo of your words hanging in the silence. You stood there, heart racing, unable to believe you had actually said it.

Slowly, Kai turned to face you, his eyes wide with shock and something else you couldn’t quite place—hope, maybe? Confusion? Possibly.

You swallowed hard, “I—I didn’t mean to shout,” you stammered. “But I’ve been holding it in for so long, and I just… I didn’t know how else to say it.”

Kai’s expression softened, his brows furrowing as he processed your words. “You like me?” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he wasn’t sure he heard you right.

You nodded, “I just thought if I kept my distance, maybe it would go away… but it didn’t.”

He took a tentative step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was scared,” you admitted, your voice trembling as you spoke. Your hands fidgeted, fingers twisting nervously. “Scared that it would ruin everything between us. Scared you wouldn’t feel the same. And the blind date that Taehy—”

“It wasn’t even that serious to begin with, my sisters were just sick of hearing me complain about–well about you.” he interrupted, his tone gentle but firm. He took a step closer, his expression softening as he reached out, his hand almost brushing yours.

“Me?” 

Kai let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing as the tension between you began to fade. “I never knew,” he said softly, taking another step closer. “But… you didn’t have to be scared. I—”

He hesitated, his voice catching in his throat, before finally meeting your gaze. “I like you too.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. Oh,” Kai mumbled, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, clearly unsure of what to do next.

You laughed, the tension breaking slightly. “No one ever tells you what to do after… a confession.”

Kai chuckled softly. “I figured Beomgyu might know what to do. He’s been egging me on to tell you how I feel.”

“He has?” you asked, surprised.

Kai nodded, and a brief silence settled between the two of you, heavy but not uncomfortable. Finally, he spoke again. “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?” you asked, confused.

“I should’ve told you sooner, when I had the chance. I didn’t realize that keeping it in would hurt you, and that was never my intention.” His voice softened, regret evident in every word.

“That makes the two of us,” you giggled shyly. “Well, I wasn’t exactly broadcasting my single status and going on blind dates, but still—” you teased playfully.

“For the record,” Kai said, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish grin, “my sisters were only sick of me complaining about how much I like you and how much of a coward I am for not telling you.”

“Oh. What exactly have you been complaining about?” You teased.

Kai’s cheeks pinked, “N-nothing. Nothing important.”

“Really? You do know I have Hiyyih’s Insta. I could probably just ask her myself,” you said with a mischievous grin.

“You wouldn’t.”

You nodded, a playful glint in your eye. “I absolutely would. So it’s either you give me a summarized version and keep the details to yourself, or I get the 100% detailed account from Hiyyih.”

“It’s not even—I just… you have to promise me you won’t laugh. Or make fun of me.”

“Promise.” You said, pretending to zip your lips with a playful wink. 

Your eyes were filled with genuine adoration for the man standing before you. His vulnerability was written all over his face, and it only made your heart swell. Your gaze softened, allowing the affection you'd kept hidden for so long to shine through. After years of bottling up your feelings, you could finally show them, even if only a little.

“Well, uh… this is so embarrassing,” he mumbled quietly to himself, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “I’d tell them how… uh… pretty you looked every time we went out together,” he said slowly.

“Uh-huh…” You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“And I’d tell them how you didn’t deserve the guys you were dating. How they were all assholes,” he went on, his voice growing louder and more passionate as he gained confidence with each word.

“And I’d tell them how much you deserve someone who genuinely loves you, someone who knows how funny you are, how quiet you get when you’re overanalyzing something, how loud you become when you're passionate, and how loving and protective you are to the people who matter to you.” He gulped, his voice shaking with emotion.

“How… much I deserved you,” he finished, his gaze searching yours.

You stood there, feeling a rush of warmth flood your cheeks. Your mind raced, but no words came. All you could manage was a soft, hesitant “Umm…”

Kai’s gaze was fixed on you, a mixture of hope and apprehension in his eyes. Seeing your struggle to find the right words, he took a deep breath and gently took your hands in his. 

You hated to admit it, but Kai seemed to be winning the confession game you had inadvertently started.

As his words settled, you found yourself slowly leaning in, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. Kai’s eyes fluttered shut, and he met you halfway. His lips gently brushed against yours, the kiss starting soft and tentative.

Your hands gripped his, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened. You felt Kai’s arms wrap around your waist, guiding you gently against the wall.

“God, I like you so much,” he whispered into the kiss.

Just as you were losing yourself in the moment, the abrupt sound of the door slamming open ruined the moment the two of you had.

“WE’RE HOME!” 

Taehyun and Beomgyu burst into the room, their eyes widening in disbelief as they took in the sight of you and Kai locked in a kiss.

“What the—” Taehyun’s voice came out as a high-pitched yelp, his hand flying to his mouth in shock.

The room was filled with a jumble of screams—your and Kai’s shocked cries mixing with Taehyun’s and Beomgyu’s high-pitched shouts. The noise was deafening, with each of you trying to out-scream the other. 

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HOME!” you yelled.

“THE GUYS AT THE TOWING COMPANY SENT US HOME BECAUSE THEY LIKED ME! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!” Taehyun shouted back.

“DO YOU EVER KNOCK?!” Kai yelled at the two of them.

“THIS IS A SHARED APARTMENT, YOU IDIOT!” Beomgyu countered.

“Enough about us! What the heck are you two doing? Spit-swapping in front of us like that?” Taehyun yelled.

You and Kai stood there, red-faced and speechless, your hands still intertwined but your mouths firmly shut. The embarrassment was palpable as you both tried to avoid eye contact, your cheeks burning with the sudden realization of being caught.

“We—uh…”

“We—”

The two of you glanced at each other, then back at Taehyun and Beomgyu.

“We…”

“Spit it out!” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, clearly impatient.

“We like each other?” Kai managed to fumble out, his voice trembling slightly.

At that moment, the room erupted into a new kind of chaos. Taehyun and Beomgyu, now visibly relieved and overjoyed, screamed with happiness.

“FINALLY!” Taehyun shouted, his voice a mix of triumph and excitement. “I KNEW IT!”

“Oh my god!” Beomgyu exclaimed, clapping his hands together in delight. “We can finally sleep in peace!”

“No more emo Huening Kai nights!”

“No more sad songs!”

Beomgyu and Taehyun grabbed each other’s hands, jumping in circles and celebrating for reasons you couldn’t quite grasp.

“Emo Huening Kai nights?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Every time you went out on a date with someone, Kai would come home with this sad look on his face,” Taehyun explained. “He wouldn’t want to play any games or do anything fun.”

“He’d just pout, act like a baby, order Chinese takeout, and then moan about how the guy you were dating didn’t deserve you,” Beomgyu continued, trying to hold back his laughter.

You looked at Kai, who was now blushing deeply and rolling his eyes in mock annoyance. “Well, that explains a lot,” you said, chuckling.

“When you both explain it like that, it makes me sound pathetic,” Kai said, shaking his head.

“But it was pathetic?” Beomgyu asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I think it’s cute,” you said with a smile.

“Gross,” Beomgyu said, scrunching up his face in mock disgust. “Wait, does this mean we’ll have to see this more often? GROSS!”

“I can’t believe Huening found a girl before us,” Taehyun sighed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“It’s possible that the two of you lack a certain charisma,” Kai replied with a teasing grin.

“Oh, and you have it?” Taehyun laughed, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I do have the world’s greatest girlfriend,” Kai said, glancing at you with a proud smile.

“Girlfriend?” You teased, your eyes twinkling with mischief. “Who said anything about me being your girlfriend?”

Kai’s face turned a shade redder as he stammered, “Well, I—I just thought—”

“Thought what?” you interrupted, a playful smirk on your lips. “That I’d be your girlfriend even if you didn’t ask? I’m not that easy.”

“I’m sorry,” Beomgyu interjected, “You’re a little confident right now. Aren’t you the same girl who messaged me about how Kai looked like he had the most pillowy, kissable lips you’d ever seen?”

Your cheeks heated up. “CHOI BEOMGYU!”

“Oh, and also that cute little private TikTok you did after you cried over Kai…? Really cute,” Beomgyu continued, his grin widening.

In a desperate bid to stop him from revealing more, you clenched your fists and lunged at Beomgyu. You jumped onto his back and covered his mouth with your hands, muffling his voice before he could spill any more secrets. 

Taehyun and Kai erupted into giggles, but Kai's laughter suddenly faltered as he realized, “Wait… what TikTok?”

“She did a TikTok where—” Beomgyu started, but you quickly shoved your hands over his mouth, pressing down firmly to silence him.

Unfortunately, Beomgyu was way stronger than you. With one swift move, he had you slung over his shoulder, your legs flailing as you tried to wriggle free.

“Fine. I won’t tell. Yet,” Beomgyu said with a mischievous grin.

[the-pink-poet]

The Shadowsinger and the Lightbringer

PART 3!!!!!

I rolled out of bed that next morning with a smile on my face. I put on my favorite dress, a (y/f/c) muslin, long sleeve that was fitted at the top and flowed out at my waist. Embroidery of flowers and vines trailed down the front and the edges of the sleeves. I couldn’t help but twirl in the mirror and smile. I hope Azriel likes this dress. I shook my head. I couldn’t think like that. He’s just Feyre’s friend, and a 500 year old Fae at that.

                Regardless of my mental protests, I ran downstairs to find the house empty. After wandering around for a while, I found Nesta in our small home library, reading a book. She looked up at me, “Ah the sleeping beauty finally decides to grace us with her presence.”

                I roll my eyes, “Whatever Nesta. Where is everybody?” She shrugged, “Somewhere out ‘training’ I guess. They’ll be back by lunch and leave this afternoon.”

                I nodded and proceeded to grab a book off of the shelf and slip away to my favorite spot in the house. In my room, I had a windowseat with a (y/f/c) cushion and several soft pillows, soft grey light from the cloudy day leaking in through the panes. I began to read, and after a while, a soft heaviness settled over me, my eyelids drooping, and I fell softly asleep in the early afternoon light.

                I must’ve been asleep for a while, because I woke up to Elain shaking my shoulder gently. I quietly groaned and rolled my neck, now stiff from napping at an odd angle. “Hey Elain. What’s up?” Elain smiled gently at me, “I’m glad you woke up. Feyre and the others are leaving for the Night Court. They wanted to say goodbye.”

                At those words any sleepiness fled my body, “Already?” She nodded and rubbed my arm, “Feyre will return as soon as we hear from the queens. They’re downstairs now.” I let her take my arm and lead me downstairs where my new friends were waiting. Feyre was the first to meet my eyes.

                “Are you really leaving already?” I asked her sadly. She sighed, “Things are…. Complicated. We need to resolve some things in the Night Court, but we’ll be back before you know it.” I pulled her into my arms, noticing how she was now slightly taller than she used to be. Perhaps a result of being a newly born Fae. But her arms, her hug, they were still the same. I hugged her tightly, “Be safe. Come back soon.”

                She hugged me tightly and rubbed my back, “I love you y/n please know that.” Tears pricked my eyes, “I know Feyre. I love you too. Fae or human. Always.” She pulled back and wiped a tear from my cheeks, “I’ll see you soon. I promise.” I nodded stepped back, turning towards the three males. “Take care of my sister.”

Rhys nodded, “On my life.” Cassian and Azriel nodded too, and they turned to leave. “Wait!” I ran up to Azriel as they headed out the door, and the three of them turned, Cassian wearing a smirk on his face. “What, can’t get enough of me?” I rolled my eyes, ignoring him and turning my attention to Azriel again, “Is there any way to contact you? Just…. for safety reasons?”

“Sure… safety reasons.” Cassian muttered under his breath, earning a glare from me. Azriel looked a little surprised, “You, want to… stay in contact?” I ducked my head and blushed slightly, “Y-yeah. If that’s ok. I just…. liked your company. Is… that ok?” A soft smile creeped onto the corners of his mouth, “Yes. That’s more than ok. Rhys?” as he turned towards the High Lord.

Rhys was smiling wryly and spoke, “Yes. It’s probably good to establish a more secure line of contact here.” Rhys reached to the side and pulled out an ink pen and small bottle of ink, seemingly out of thing air. “Here. Use these to write on any paper you like, and it will immediately be transported to the Night Court. Just… please make sure to write Azriel’s name on the front. Otherwise Cassian might get snoopy.” Cassian looked offended, but Azriel just chuckled.

I took the pen and ink from Rhys, “Thank you.” He nodded and grabbed their hands, preparing to disappear to the strange Fae lands. Feyre gave me a smile before they vanished, the sight of it warming my soul, and then they were gone.

After the visit, both Nesta and Elain seemed to breathe a bit easier, which I thought was a bit silly. Feyre was still our sister after all, and her being Fae didn’t change that. And her friends had been nothing but kind, so while I loved them, I couldn’t excuse their behavior. It ended up forming a strange rift between me and my two human sisters.

I began writing letters right away, and didn’t notice as Nesta entered the kitchen and peered over my shoulder to look at the letter. “Who are you writing to?”

I jumped a little, “Nesta! Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s not good to sneak around?” Nesta shrugged and repeated her question, “Who are you writing to?”

I rolled my eyes, “A friend. Why do you care?” She snatched the letter from under my hand and began reading it, “Nesta, give that back!” I stood up and reached towards her and the letter, but she just turned away from me and kept reading.

After a second she looked at me with her eyebrow raised, “You’re writing to the Spymaster?” I finally managed to snatch the letter back, “Yes. And?”

Nesta shook her head, “I’d be careful y/n you don’t know what the Fae are like.”

A fire bubbled in my blood, “Oh and you know what they’re like? Last time I checked you didn’t say more than two words to them when they were here. Who are you to say what they are and aren’t like, when you don’t even know.”

I was breathing hard as Nesta’s mouth formed a thin line, “And you know much better? How do you know he didn’t put a spell on you? Or isn’t using you? How can you-“

I cut her off, “How can you tell me what to do? I’m not a child anymore Nesta. I can pass my own judgements.” Blood pounded in my ears.

The only sign of emotion on her face was the slight twitch of her eyebrow, “Just…. be careful. Ok?” She sighed.

I didn’t look her way as she walked out of the room, and I continued my letter.

                Azriel,

I hope all is going well in the night court. Things certainly have been dull here since your visit. I’ve been continuing my lessons, trying to catch up with the people my age, but other than that, nothing has really happened.

Nesta doesn’t seem to like the idea of us sending letters back and forth, but I’ve long since learned to take her advice with MORE than a grain of salt. I know she means well, but she can just be so….. pushy. I’m fine with her being protective, we all are of each other, but there is definitely a balance.

What have you been up to? I realize though we spent most of our time together during your visit, I don’t really know what it means to be a Spymaster and Shadowsinger. And what are the stars like in the Night Court? I remember Rhys telling us about them over the tense dinner. They sound incredible.

I miss you. Things are dull without you, but I understand you can’t come and visit. We haven’t heard anything from the queens yet. And I won’t lie, part of me hopes we won’t. Not that I don’t want to see you again, I just don’t want to believe that war is coming. Should I prepare? If so, how?

I await your reply and again hope all is going well,

Yours,

Y/N Archeron

As soon as I signed my name, the letter vanished in a puff of violet smoke and stars. Elain peaked into the room at the small noise that it made, “What was that?”

                I smiled at her, “Oh just sending off a letter to a friend.” A soft smile crept up her lips, “It’s for that Spymaster isn’t it.” I nodded and she continued, “Just be careful, ok?” I sighed a little and nodded again, “Always Elain.”

…..

                Y/N

                It is so good to hear from you.

Things are going well here. The life of the Spymaster of the nightcourt is always busy. I wish we could have spent more time with you. I don’t think you know how much that wonderful quiet moment meant to me singing at the piano. It was a needed reprieve from the chaos we all have been dealing with here regarding the incoming war. Perhaps next time I come you could teach me some more of those newer songs. I really enjoyed singing with you, and I meant what I said, you have a beautiful voice.

As for the work of a Spymaster and Shadowsinger, I’m not sure you want to know. I’m not always proud of what I do, and the work that is sometimes required of me is vicious and dark.

And as for your sister, its obvious she cares about you. I know all of your sisters do. I can tell Feyre misses you the most. She’s started a new painting of you four, not sure what she’s going to call it, but your part of the painting is the brightest.

I hope we hear from the queens soon so I can finally help put this thing to rest.

Stay safe Starlight,

Azriel

Several months passed with no word from the queens, but many letters had been exchanged between Azriel and I the last few months. He has come to give me the nickname, “Starlight” which makes me blush and curl my toes when I read it. At first the notes were very formal between the two of us, but the more we spoke, the warmer the conversation became, and it was revealed that Azriel was a very snarky and funny male. His letters never ceased to make me laugh.

Nesta and Elain didn’t approve of the letters, in fact I caught Nesta multiple times attempting to burn them before I could get to them. Elain was more subtle, giving me nervous glances as I would read in the kitchen, but not much more than that.

To my relief, we heard finally heard from the queens and immediately sent word off to the Night Court. Feyre and her friends arrived within a day and a half, the flapping of wings signaling their arrival. Nesta tried to keep me from answering the door, but as soon as I saw Feyre through the gap in the door I broke her grasp and ran into Feyre’s arms.

Cassian laughed as we hugged, “Looks like someone’s excited.” I gave him a playful glare over Feyre’s shoulder and he just laughed again.

I backed away from them and smiled. “Welcome back Feyre, Elain is in the kitchen getting everything ready.” Feyre nodded and started headed to the kitchen, and I looked at the rest of their group as they walked in. Rhys gave me a kind smile, Cassian gave me a flirtatious grin to which I gave an eye roll, and I turned my eyes to the Shadowsinger.

I didn’t know quite what I expected our interaction to be like. We’d exchanged several letters through these past few months, but an in-person reaction was very different.

His golden hazel eyes bored into my own, as he stepped forward and gently grasped my hand that was down at my side, bringing it to his lips. “Hello y/n.” he whispered.

My breath caught in my throat and my cheeks flushed at the gentle contact, “Hey Az.” One of his shadows curled around our intertwined hands, moving up my arm and tickling my neck. I giggled and Az smiled softly.

“Shall we?” he let go of my hand and held out his arm to me. I gave him a shy smile, took his arm, and we headed to the kitchen to wait for the queens.

They didn’t keep us waiting long, the five out of six queens that winnowed into our dining room. I made eye contact with the oldest queen and a shiver went down my spine. There was no kindness in her gaze.  

Azriel noticed me tense up and grabbed my hand from where we were standing side by side. I released a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding and tried to relax, but that icy gaze remained on me.

To say the meeting was tense would be an understatement. When Rhys explained his reasons to the queens for needing half the book, they scoffed. “And why would we ever trust a High Fae?” Rhys’s violet eyes narrowed, “If not for us, then for the humans on this continent. There is little to nothing standing between them and Hybern. And once Hybern takes over here, they’ll move to the mainlands.”

The old queen shook her head, “And why should we care if Hybern takes over this small strip of land? They are none of our concern.”

Nesta angrily spoke up, “Have you no shame? You would condemn all these innocent people to die because of your stupid pride?”

The old queen turned her steely gaze to Nesta, “We worry about our own people. These lands are not our responsibility. Besides, how are we to know that the malicious High Lord of the Night Court is not manipulating our minds into forcing us to give them the book?”

My blood began to boil, and before I could stop myself, I stepped forward and stared down at the queens, “How dare you. You don’t know what these people have sacrificed. You hardly know anything about them. And as far as I’m concerned, the only malicious ones here, are you.”

The old queen’s chair screeched behind her as she stood up to face me, her mouth twisted into a sneer, “Child, I would suggest you keep your silence in matters you know nothing of.”

I opened my mouth to retort but felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw Azriel, giving me a subtle shake of his head, and I backed up to my original place.

Ultimately nothing came from it. The queens left, we had no book, and I could tell that Feyre and her friends were at their wits’ end. I worried for them, knowing from Azriel’s letters how each of them had already given so much over their immortal lives. I worried about what else they might give to save our small part of the world from the terrors of Hybern.

The thoughts making me feel sick, I ran up to my room, shoving open the doors to my small balcony and let the night breeze run through my hair. I grasped the railing, and tears began pouring down my cheeks.

In my own little world, I almost missed soft steps coming up the stairs and into my room. I found myself wrapped up in a hug by the Shadowsinger himself, his scarred hand brushing through my hair, “Are you alright?”

I looked up at him. I’d never realized how much he towered over me, he was almost a foot taller, but it made me feel… safe. I sniffed a little, “I don’t know. It just…. bothered me the way that old queen was talking about you all. And when I tried to stand up for you,” I let in a shaky breath, “She treated me like a child. I know I’m not five hundred years old like you all, but it just….. I don’t like being treated like I don’t know anything. Like I’m ignorant of the world around me. And that’s exactly how she made me feel.” I looked away.

Azriel softly grasped my chin with his hand and lifted my gaze to his, “Y/N you should never let someone else make you feel inferior. You might not have the… lifespan we do, but that doesn’t make you ignorant, and it certainly doesn’t make you a child.”

I sniffled, “It still hurts though. And now? Without the Book, who knows what will happen to us, what will happen to our home, to our sisters…. To you. Its… terrifying.”

Azriel grasped my hands in his and looked at me with such intensity I almost looked away, “Y/N. I promise I won’t let any harm come to you or your sisters. I swear that on my life. Do you understand that?”

Tears begin to fill my eyes again as I pull him into a hug, “Thank you Azriel. That means the world to me. But…..” “But?” He asked as we continued to hug. I take a deep breath in, “Just promise me I won’t lose you either.” His hand freezes on my back, “Y/N-” “Azriel, please.” I hear him sigh as he pulls me tighter, “Alright. I promise.” I feel the tension in my chest loosen and I hold him tighter, snuggling my head into his chest.

Hello loves!!! I'm sorry i've been MIA for a long time! I do this for fun, and with a summer job, and lots of mental health struggles, I found it very difficult to upload. I've been feeling much better lately so I should update more frequently! And I'm VERY excited for the next part, because we'll get to take a little trip to Hybern.... if you can guess what part of the story I'm headed towards. And it just gets more exciting from there!

Let me know if y'all are excited for the next part in the comments and what you thought of this part also if you want to be added to the taglist!

Besos

the pink poet

Taglist:

@tele86 @amara-moonlight @deeshag @nebarious @fightmedraco @meshellexplosionmurder @blackgirlmagicforever @minaethrym @namelesssaviour

[bravo4iscool]

sister

there‘s too little trent in this world, so take this🕺

i hope you like this lol.

reader is clay‘s little sister and her nickname is „missy“, it‘s no indication of her name tho :)

word count: 5k

not proof-read :)

(masterlist)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

You happily smile and run into your brother's arms as soon as you see him. „I missed you big man,“ you laugh.

„Missed you too, Missy,“ Clay whispers into your hair, holding you close for another minute. „Thank you for inviting us,“ he then tells you, breaking the hug with a big smile on his face.

You grin and lightly shove his shoulder. „Of course I‘d invite you. It’s not often you have free time, you know. Besides, I don‘t want to spend Thanksgiving alone.“

When you look behind your older brother you see his team members finally approaching. They were waiting at the beginning of your driveway. They weren‘t all here today though. The team leader, Jason Hayes was with his family, as well as Ray Perry, but the others were invited to your Thanksgiving dinner.

„Hello, welcome,“ you enthusiastically greet them, waving. „Nice to finally meet you all. Clay told me much about you guys!“ You smile at them, shaking hand after hand.

They all smile at you and then one of them starts speaking. „Thanks for the invite. I‘m Sonny. I‘m surprised Blondie never told us about you,“ he tells you and you side-eye Clay before you start laughing.

„I think I need to have a talk with him regarding that matter,“ you tease. „But, let’s not talk about that! Please, come inside.“ You motion them to follow you and walk into your house. It was a little small but perfect for you. You couldn‘t imagine living somewhere else.

They follow you like a bunch of lost puppies and it‘s more than funny to you. You show them your living room and tell them to sit down. You would bring the food shortly, you say.

Clay follows you into the kitchen where you run around humming to yourself. „Are you trying to feed a whole bataillon?“ he laughs and you shriek.

„Jesus Christ!“ You place your hand over your heart. „Don‘t scare me like that!“ you scold him, jabbing your finger at him.

„I’m sorry,“ he laughs, pressing a kiss to your head. „Won‘t do it again. I just wanted to help you,“ he explains, starting to stir the gravy. „Been with these guys for too long.“

„Well, you chose to, didn‘t you?“ you ask putting the pie in the oven. „By the way,“ you look at him. „Who‘s the one with the beard?“

„We all have a beard Missy,“ Clay snorts and you roll your eyes.

„The one who didn‘t talk,“ you explain, tilting your head at your brother. „He only looked at me a bit strangely.“ You place the baking gloves on the counter and wipe a couple hair strands out of your face.

„Could be Brock or Trent. Why you wanna know?“

„He’s cute,“ you say with a shrug and Clay stops stirring. He turns around, eyes wide.

“No. No, no, no! You won’t make a move on one of my teammates!” he almost screams and you only laugh.

“Why not?”

“Because, firstly, I would work with the man fucking my sister, which is already weird enough and, secondly, you know our job,” his voice turns serious. “I don’t want you to…get your heart broken.” Clay averts his gaze, memories of his own breakup with Stella surfacing. She wasn’t able to live with the fear of losing him…

You already had him to worry about but dating another SEAL? He didn’t know if you could take that much stress and uncertainty. He wanted only the best for you.

You sign and walk towards him. “I know your job,” you confirm, gently placing your hand on his upper arm. “But does a dangerous job mean you guys are unlovable or don’t deserve it?”

You look up at him and he wants to cry. You were right but still, he didn’t want you to love one of them. Without saying anything he pulls you into his arms and keeps you close.

“Don’t…do anything you’ll regret,” he whispers and you tighten your arms around him. You never wanted to let him go. You’ve missed him too much…

“I promise,” you whisper back, a little tear escaping your eye. “Besides, I just said he’s cute. Never said I’ll make a move,” you then immediately joke, breaking the hug with a sniff.

Clay only rolls his eyes, trying to hide his smirk. “Maybe you did but I know you better.”

-

Trent sits on your couch, involved in a heavy discussion about football with Sonny. The Texan couldn’t accept the fact that he was the only hardcore football fan.

“We can watch soccer instead,” Brock retorts with a snort and immediately gains a death glare from Sonny.

„We‘re in America and in America you watch football!“ Sonny proudly exclaims, straightening his back and popping out his chest. „Besides, it‘s a long Thanksgiving tradition!“

Trent just rolls his eyes and pushes himself off the couch. He would look and ask if he could help anywhere. He’s not used to doing nothing. His hands are itching to do something.

When he‘s about to enter your kitchen he sees you and Clay breaking a hug. He decides to wait outside. You haven’t seen your brother in a long time and he wanted to give the two of you some privacy. When he‘s sure he can enter he slightly clears his throat.

You look to the door and smile when you see one of Clay‘s teammates. „Hey,“ you greet him, walking over to shake his hand. „Can I help you with anything?“, you want to know and he shakes his head.

„No, thanks. I actually wanted to ask if I can help you,“ he answers, trying his best to not look too intimidating. His height didn‘t help with that. „I‘m Trent, by the way,“ he’s careful not to stumble over his words.

He was nervous. Why was he nervous? You only were Clay’s sister. He didn’t know you. You didn‘t know him. So, why the hell was he nervous about talking to you?

„Uhm,“ you look around and totally miss the way Clay eyes his friend with a stern gaze (You didn‘t miss it). „I actually do need help, yes. These-“ you point at a couple of pots and the turkey. „-need to be set on the table.“

“Okay,” Trent slightly smiles before he looks at Clay. “You wanna help?” The younger SEAL stares at his friend for a couple seconds before he nods.

“Yea, I’ll tell you where to put it.”

“Great,” Trent mumbles as he picks up the turkey and leaves the kitchen, Clay following him with one of the pots. You look after them with a smile, then a laugh when you hear how your brother instructs his friend.

You decide to head to your living room to call the other guys. „Food‘s ready,“ you smile at them, peaking your head through the door. Sonny immediately stands up and claps his hands.

„That‘s my call!“ the Texan says and Brock snorts. Then he also stands up and walks towards you.

„I hope this isn‘t too much to ask but the dog‘s still in the car and I wanted to know if I‘d be allowed to get him out?“ He lightly tilts his head and you nod, an excited grin on your face.

„Sure! You can go and get him. Clay told me much about Cerberus!“ Relief washes over Brock and he excuses himself to get Cerberus. Normally he always took him with him but he didn‘t know how you‘d react to the shepherd dog.

„I‘m surprised that he didn‘t go crazy already,“ Clay retorts, suddenly by your side. „That dog‘s his life…“

„Well, at least he‘s got someone, no? Dog or not.“ You smile at your brother before you leave him alone to sit down in your dining room. „Are you coming?“ you turn around and he nods before following you.

-

„Missy, it‘s me!“ Your head shoots up when you hear Sonny‘s voice. What was the Texan doing in your house? Not that you didn‘t want him here, you‘ve become amazing friends with Bravo Team since your Thanksgiving dinner but it was 12am, so why was Sonny here?

Your head pops out of the kitchen and you eye Sonny. „What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at work.“

„Trent said I need to step back for a day or two. That fucker got me the wrong way during sparring,“ he explains while he stretches himself on your couch. „You have no problem with me being here, do you? I can also leave if you want me to.“ He looks up at you with a raised eyebrow.

„Oh,“ you smile. „No, you can stay. I have no problem with that.“ You turn to leave to the kitchen again then you turn around once more. „I hope you‘re fine lasagne? Clay asked me to cook it since he‘ll be around for lunch today.“

Sonny starts to grin and stand up immediately. „Did you say lasagne? Count me in Ms.Spenser!“ He follows you to the kitchen like a lost puppy and you laugh at that.

„You really want to compete with Cerberus, do you?“ Sonny only snorts at your question and sits down on one of your kitchen chairs. You laugh and shake your head. „Normally he‘s the one following me to the kitchen like he‘s a saint.“

„He ain‘t a saint,“ Sonny retorts and you grin.

„No, he‘s not. But you are?“ You turn to look at him, just fast enough to see him smirk.

„Never said I was one,“ he answers with a shrug, a full grin now working its way onto his face. „No one‘s a saint,“ he continues, stretching out his legs. „Except for you maybe. You come quite close to one.“

„Why‘s that?“ you ask, sprinkling cheese over the lasagna. You glance at him over your shoulder. He has his hands crossed in his lap and his head laid back, eyes closed. You smile at that sight. If you learned one thing about Sonny it was that he always acted all tough and untouchable but deep down he just wanted peace and calm…

„You‘re nice, you care for us, Trent has a crush on you,“ Sonny starts listing, not paying attention to the fact that he‘d just exposed his brother and you freeze. Trent had what? Surely you must‘ve misheard it. „Jason likes your muffins, Clay isn‘t bitching around that much when he was with you before.“ Sonny opens his eyes and looks at you. „You want me to continue?“

You shake your head and walk over to the oven. „No…“ you sound a bit confused, almost irritated by Sonny‘s words. „You don‘t need to praise me to the heavens, Sonny.“ you force a smile at him. „I‘m just…a normal person. Nothing special.“ You push the lasagna inside and turn the oven on.

Sonny tilts his head at you. Something he said caught you off guard, he can feel it. „Is it because I told you Jace likes your muffins? I was not supposed to tell you but-“

You turn around. „It‘s not the muffins Sonny.“

„Mhh…“ Sonny recalls everything he told you and then his eyes widen. „Oh shit! It‘s what I said about Trent, right? Oh fuck!“ He stands up. „Look, just- I don‘t know… Just because I said it doesn‘t mean it needs to be true!“

You shut him up with your gaze and for a second he just stands in your kitchen staring at you. Then realization hits him. „Oh… You want it to be true, don‘t you?“ You feel blood rush into your cheeks and avert your eyes. Sonny wouldn‘t let you hear the end of it now…

You expect the Texan to crack jokes and maybe laugh but he just looks at you. „You like him“, he then slowly puts the pieces together further and you simply nod along. „Now I own Ray 50$, damn.“

Your eyes widen and you open your mouth. „You had bets on me?“ He can‘t be serious, can he?

„Of course,“ Sonny seems so casual about it. „Ever since you brought Trent soup when he had a cold. You didn‘t even do it for Clay when he was bedridden.“ You don‘t know how to respond to that. If the team knew… did Trent know it too? Your palms start to sweat.

„Does…does he know?“ you carefully ask Sonny and he snorts. Was that a good sign now or a bad one?

„That fucker is as oblivious as Cerb when Brock tells him they‘re going swimming but instead he drags him to the vet.“ You blink at Sonny, not sure what to do with that answer. Sonny sighs. „Long story short, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t even think there's a possibility of you liking him back. That man is so head over heels over you that he tries to find even the slightest excuse to show up at your front door.“

„He…does?“ you’re still surprised by the fact that Trent apparently also likes you. You didn‘t know how to process all this.

„Of course,“ Sonny laughs. „Matter of fact, I‘m 100% sure he’s trying to convince Clay right now to let him come with him. Man‘s desperate to see you.“

You want to answer but then you think for a second. Why was Sonny telling you all this? Why was he breaking Trent‘s trust like that? This wasn‘t normal for Sonny…

„Why are you doing this Sonny?“ You then decide to ask. „Why are you telling me all this? Aren‘t you…betraying Trent right now?“

-

It‘s 11, maybe 11:30pm when you leave work and the cold wind collides with your face. You shiver and pull your jacket faster around you. You should‘ve taken your fucking car instead of walking to work this afternoon. You curse yourself as you quicken your steps and look around almost paranoid.

With Clay being your brother you always were very aware of what was happening around you. Clay made sure to teach you what he thought was necessary for you to know, that included the observation of everything around you and you’ve never been more thankful for it. It made you feel a tad more safe, especially now that you were walking around alone at night.

When you hear footsteps getting close to you you fish for your phone, never being more happy to have Clay on speed dial. You press your phone to your ear, your eyes glancing behind your shoulder. There was someone…

You decide to walk another way back home. One where you walk through the more populated areas of the town. While you try to keep an eye on your surroundings you wait for Clay to pick up. When he doesn‘t you suppress a curse and dial the next number. Sonny.

He would pick up, no? He is always on his phone anyway. But Sonny doesn’t pick up. You try to reach Clay again, then Sonny. They don’t answer.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, glancing behind you again. Whoever was walking behind you was surely following you. You’ve been taking other turns for the third time in a row now and they were still behind you.

You squint at your phone and take a deep breath. Without thinking twice about it you dial Trent’s number. You’re afraid you’ll break your phone with the grip you’re having on it but you try to keep calm. Clay prepared you for situations like this. Kinda.

“Trent? It’s me. Am I interrupting something?” you let out a relieved breath when he answers. “Could you do me a favor?” you’re even more relieved when he immediately answers with a yes. “I’m on my way back home from work and there’s someone follow-“ you can’t even finish your sentence before you hear him get up and grab his keys.

He asks you where you are and you quickly send him your live location. He promises you he’ll be there as fast as he can and your legs nearly give out from the sudden reassurance. You thank him over and over, quickening your steps once again.

“I’ll be there in 15,” you hear Trent say and you visibly relax. “Stay where you are, try to find a crowd or something close to that. I’m gonna stay in the line,” he explains and you nod, telling him you’ll do the best you can.

Your eyes scan the buildings surrounding you and then fall onto a small 24/7 shop. There surely was someone who could keep you company while Trent arrives, right?

“There’s a uh store,” you carefully say, your feet walking yourself over there almost by themselves. As expected Trent tells you to enter and look out for someone.

A small ‘ding’ signals you entering the store and you immediately start to hide between the shelves. And you were right to do so because only seconds later the bell rings again. You take a deep breath and grab one of the baking mixtures to look busy.

Then you call Trent’s name again. “I’m pretty sure they followed me into the store,” you quietly say, trying to glance around as unsuspiciously as possible. You pause for a second, the grip around the baking mix tightening. “Please tell me you’re here soon…”

“5 minutes,” he tells you, flooring the throttle of his truck. “5 minutes, then I’m there.” His grip on the steering wheel turns his knuckles white and he needs to keep himself calm more than ever.

On the battlefield he never was that nervous. His brothers could take care of themselves but you… You couldn’t.

Yes, Clay probably taught you basic self defense, he thinks but still. He could protect you better than you ever could…

When he arrives at your location he doesn’t bother properly parking his truck. He jumps out and tries to calmly walk towards the store but it‘s like his feet are itching.

He raises his phone, looking at the still ongoing call. „I‘m here,“ he tells you and then he opens the door. You‘re in his arms before he can even blink.

He stumbles two steps backwards before he can wrap his arms around you. „It‘s okay, it‘s okay,“ he says, his hand finding its way to the back of your head, keeping you close to him. „You’re not alone anymore.“

„God, that man was creepy,“ you breathlessly laugh, breaking the hug. You immediately miss the warmth Trent generated and heavily blush. „I‘m sorry for calling you so out of the blue-“ you want to apologize but he’s raising his hand to stop you.

„No, none of that. You can call me whenever you need. I‘m always there for you,“ he explains, looking you deep in the eyes. „Now, did you see the man? Do you know who he is?“

Trent‘s eyes narrow and the sparkling got replaced by a dangerous look. You shiver and swallow. You turn so you stand beside Trent and then you nod into the direction of a man. „That‘s him,“ you say. „He‘s been following me for at least three blocks.“

Trent looks at the man, then at you. „My truck‘s outside. Gimme three minutes and I‘ll join you there. I don‘t want you to witness this.“ He looks at you again and you nod.

„Okay. I‘ll go and wait…outside.“ You turn your back to Trent and leave, adrenaline pumping through your veins. You knew what he was gonna do. He‘ll nicely confront the man and probably calmly tell him to fuck off.

You stand beside his truck, already climbing in since it‘s still running and you can already see yourself patching up his bloody knuckles later. You sigh when you think about that. Sometimes you thought that he was just chasing trouble…

-

„Why are you looking at me like that?“ you mumble into your pillow, your eyes heavy with sleep.

„You’re pretty,“ Trent says and you can hear the smile in his voice. You quietly laugh and rub your eyes. Then you sit up in your bed and look at him. He sits on the floor, his back popped up against a wall.

„How long‘ve you been watching me?“ you want to know, smiling at him. He accompanied you home after the incident the night before and he refused to leave…

You offered him your couch, your bed even but he declined. So, he probably was awake the whole night, making sure you’re safe.

“I woke up about two hours ago,” he lies, placing his arms on his bent legs. “I made breakfast,” he then tells you, standing up with a low grunt. “Get ready, then we can eat.” He smiles before he leaves your room.

You quickly stand up and throw on some clothes before you rush to the bathroom to get ready. On the other side of your flat stood Trent in your kitchen, asking himself if he was going crazy.

He couldn’t think straight whenever he was with you and damn, it was showing. Telling you you look pretty while you just woke up? Watching you sleep in the first place? What the hell was he going through?

He wasn’t unfamiliar with being in love, that’s what brought him his two ex wives… So, he really wasn’t new to it but why was he acting so weird with you now? It shouldn’t be weird, no?

“You made all this?” your voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he looks at you. Fuck, you were even more beautiful now… How was he supposed to look past that and just…be normal?

„I did, yeah,“ he smiles, hiding his fidgeting hands behind his back. You grin up at him, the crinkles around your eyes showing and he just feels like he’s falling in love with you all over again.

„You didn‘t have to,“ you laugh, crossing your arms in front of your body. „This is- You didn‘t need to-“ you want to finish your sentence but Trent interrupts you. He gently leads you towards your table and pulls back a chair for you.

„I wanted to,“ he simply says. „Besides I already got the call that I need to leave soon, so I just wanted to make you happy before I and the team vanish for god knows how long again.“ He sits down opposite to you and fills your and his glass with orange juice.

„Will Clay pick you up?“ you ask, taking a sip of your orange juice. Trent shakes his head saying something about Clay not being allowed to know he was here and that Sonny wouldn‘t let him hear the end of it if he found out that he spent the night at yours.

You only laugh at that and continue to eat your breakfast. „I can drive you?“ you then suggest but he kindly denies.

„I can drive on my own Missy, don‘t worry. Besides, don’t you have to work today?“ Trent chews on his bread roll, curiously eying you but you just shake your head. You wouldn‘t need to work the next three days.

-

Your lungs sting as you run into the ER. You look around, panic in your eyes, your body shaking.

“Ma’am? Can we help you?” a young nurse asks, clearly worried. “Is everything okay?” She gently places a hand on your arm and your head snaps towards her.

“Clay Spenser. Where is he?” you rasp out, eyes teary. “I’ve been told he’s here.” Your voice breaks and the first tears run down your cheeks.

The nurse nods along and carefully leads you down a hallway. “I’m afraid we can’t help you but my colleague can surely tell you which room he is.” She smiles at you and you want to smile back but you just…can’t.

After half an hour of asking around you’re finally led to your brother’s room, your throat dry. You didn‘t know anything about his condition. Everything they told you was that he was being treated in the hospital.

„One of his friends is also in there,“ you’re informed as you come to a hold in front of the room. „We can ask him to leave at any moment though since he does not count as family.“

You only smile at the nurse. „No need for that. I…know him.“ You didn‘t know who of Bravo was with your brother right now but nevertheless you knew him. And besides, this team was family. They maybe didn‘t share the same DNA but the same blood was adorning their hands.

When the nurse was sure you were fine on your own she left you at the door, a comforting hand on your shoulder before she walked away. You stare at the door, taking a deep breath and opening it with trembling hands.

You pushed it open, your breath hitching when you notice all the monitors scattered around the room and the endless beeping of said machines.

You can see someone move and walk towards you in the corner of your eye. You know who it is when he lays his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace.

Trent doesn’t say a word while you cry, only holding you close and keeping a hand comfortingly on your back. He felt a bit helpless right now, not really knowing what to do but all you needed was just him holding you…

„Thank you for staying with him,“ you whisper after a couple moments, sniffing and breaking the hug. You want to wipe away your tears, feeling embarrassed for losing control like that but he gently wraps his hands around your wrists, pulling them away from your face.

You’re confused for a moment but then he pulls out a tissue and carefully starts to wipe away your tears. You feel like you could start to cry all over again.

„Thank you,“ you sniff again but he just shakes his head.

„You don‘t need to thank me.“ Then he pulls you into his arms again, planting a kiss on your head. „You both are family.“ Trent breaks the hug and cups your face with gentle hands.

„I know you’re scared for him right now,“ Trent glances into the direction of the bed where Clay was laying. „But he’s stable. He‘s pulling through. He’s a strong one.“

Your hand reaches out to place it over his, pulling them from your face and holding them in yours. You say nothing, only holding his hands and working up the courage to finally look at your brother.

„How did it happen?“ you ask, your voice almost being stuck in your throat.

„That’s…classified. I‘m sorry,“ Trent says in a quiet voice. „But, he’s got a couple of broken ribs, his lungs have seen better days and the fingers of his right hand are broken.“

Fresh tears gather in your eyes as you listen to Trent, letting go of him with trembling hands and walking towards Clay. „I told him that his job would demand its tribute sooner or later. He didn‘t listen…“ You sniff, carefully sitting down at the edge of the bed. „He never listens to me…“

-

“I thought you’d kill me as soon as I wake up,” Clay breathlessly laughs while you take a look at his bandages. He was currently laying on your couch, letting himself be treated by you.

“I would’ve,” you mumble. “If it weren’t for Trent.” You reach for the bandage tape and rip off a piece to place it over his arm brace so the bandage would stay in place.

Clay looks at you, tilting his head. “You like him, don’t you?” he then carefully asks and you halt for a second.

“What if I do?” you return the question, avoiding his gaze and fumbling with the tape in your hands.

You can feel your brother looking at you anyway, his eyes burning into your head. “I’d probably try and beat him up.”

“You would fail.”

“I know.” His hand reaches for yours and you finally look up. “I know what I told you when you first met them and…I still mean it but I can’t control who you love.” Clay pauses for a second, his gaze softening. “If you love him then so it be… Besides, he also has a thing for you but I think you know that already.” Clay starts to chuckle at the end of his sentence, his thumb carefully stroking the back of your hand.

“Guard your heart Missy. Don’t give it to the next best asshole.”

“Are you saying your friend is an asshole?” Your eyes widen with surprise.

“That’s not what I said!” Clay immediately shakes his head. “He’s a good guy—I know that for sure—but there are dudes who aren’t as amazing as lovely Trent. I’m asking you to be careful about them.”

You slightly smile before you sigh and stand up. “I don’t think you have to worry about me Clay. I’ll be fine as long as you don’t decide to run into a grenade anytime soon again.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes in a joking manner. “Sonny said the path was clear.”

-

“You think he’s okay with this?” Trent carefully asks as he intertwines his fingers with yours.

“I don’t care what he thinks,” you reply, leaning against him, looking down at your hands. “I’m a grown up. I can do what I want.”

Trent chuckles, glancing at you with a gentle smile. “Do I need to expect the big-brother-talk?” He then wants to know. He needed to know what he needed to prepare for when he saw Clay again.

“More of a big-brother-beating,” you snort with a laugh. “I told him he’d lose and he knows it too but he wants to try anyway.”

“I promise I won’t be too hard on him,” Trent laughs, pressing a kiss to your head. “He’s still not cleared to operate so I need to look after him anyway.”

You don’t reply to that, only enjoying the moment, finally in Trent’s arms, without having to worry about anything in the world. You knew that sooner or later you’d be confronted by his job and its bad sides but right now you didn’t care about that.

You were with him and that was wall what you needed right now.