#sorry I am casting Emotional Damage on the tag

[gilliebee]

[frost-queen]

Fairness in one’s heart // part 5 (Reader x Benedict Bridgerton)

Forever tag: @missmelodramatic​, @theletterhart​, @alex–awesome–22, @elllie-does-the-posts​, @floatlosers​, @merlieve​, @queen-of-books​, @glimmering-darling-dolly​, @denkisclown​, @automaticbakeryfreakshoe​, @meyocoko​, @bubblybrianna​, @october-leaves​, Post tag: @memberofalthefunfandoms​, @lonely-witch​​, @northern-typist​, @mostly-meg​, @lofious​, @acollectionofmymadness​, @flowercrowns-goodvibes​, @benedictbridgertonss​, @busy-bee-angel-misska​, @kazbekkarluvbot​, @erikaar, @magical-spit​, @deansapplepie​, @bethii1​, @freyathehuntress​

Read part 1 here, part 2 here!, part 3 here!, part 4 here! (This is the last chapter) 

Summary: When a proposal has been offered, will you accept or forever keep your doubts? Can love truly conquer all?

“Marry me.”

You stumbled a bit backwards, letting your hand slide out of his. His request floating around your mind in little fragments. Fragments that had not yet been pieced together. Shivering out a breath, moved you, your hand towards your chest. How could he so easily decide the future when you were still yet uncertain about the present. The damage that has been done was not something to take lightly. Being personally cast out by the queen herself had consequents. If this meant you were out of the season for the rest of your live, you could never accept his hand in marriage. You wouldn’t wish a life of cruelty upon him. 

Not on the man you love. Not even for a snippet of happiness. – “I…I…” – stuttered you out, afraid to look him in the eye. Benedict kept looking hopeful at you, keeping his warm smile up. He was starstruck for even seeing the possible dangers ahead. – “I…I…” – your gaze went up towards your father. He was smiling, perhaps a pure smile you had barely seen. Not a hint of miscommunication in it, simple but pure honesty. For the first times in forever had he been happy, content with you. You didn’t want to take that from him.

Then you adverted your gaze to Benedict’s brothers. Against all odds were they standing right here. By your side. Taking your side. No one had done that ever. It was unfair to them for what you had in mind. Your mind was chaos, every horrifying end tormenting you. How could you accept despite it all. This wasn’t a simple answer of yes or no, this was more than that. Reputations were at stake, reputations you didn’t want to shatter. You never did. If accepting meant dragging Benedict and his family alongside with you, you preferred to suffer alone. As you always have, for alone is all one person can have. Alone protects you. 

It protects those you love, leaving the suffering to you. Taking away their pain as you had endured so much pain it became bearable. You started to slightly shake your head, pressing your lips together, feeling the tears emerge. – “I…I can’t.” – whispered you out, taking another step back. Benedict exhaled shocked, his knees going wobbly as he felt himself being dragged under. Colin ran up to his brother, holding him up by the shoulder. – “I’ve got you brother.” – said he, making sure Benedict stand up straight. – “I am sorry…” – sobbed you out, allowing some tears to roll down your cheek.

Your father ran up to you, shocked by your revelation. – “Y/n, my darling.” – called he out, staring baffled at you. Benedict found a bit of his strength back, patting Colin on his chest that he was alright. Colin carefully let go of his brother, keeping a close eye on him. – “Why?” – asked Benedict, taking a step closer to you. You sniffed loud, turning slightly towards him again. – “Why? You know why?” -  told you him, your lip trembling from the sudden strong emotions. Benedict shook his head with a bite of his lip. – “Not good enough.” – answered he, shrugging his shoulders a bit. You exhaled sharp, taken by his determination.

Why was he so stubborn. – “Why, Y/n?” – he asked again, pounding his fist down in the air. You shook your head, not wanting to have this conversation by the palace. You turned around, walking away from him with your father by your side. Benedict wasn’t ready to let you off so easily. He knew his love was not one-sided. He had seen the emotions inside of you. He had seen the longing, the desire. He had seen it because he saw it within himself. He hated that despite it all you were still trying to protect him. Even when he told you numerous times not to. All he ever wanted was to love you, be by your side and support you no matter what.

“In sickness and in health, is that not a requirement?” – shouted he at you, ready to defend himself. – “I know you are afraid Y/n, I am too, but that doesn’t give away the fact that I…I…” – Benedict felt his hands tremble as he came to a stop. He felt like his emotions were steering him. He felt all control over himself slip away. The fight lust inside of him so grand, it made him go towards every length to keep you close. – “Benedict please…” – said you, wiping some tears away. 

“How many more times must I proclaim myself? You are all that matters to me, nothing more. I want you, I … I love you.” – confessed he, making you abruptly stop. – “I love you with all my heart and it pains me… it pains me to see that you are not willing to give it a chance, us a chance.” – Benedict started to slowly approach you as you had stopped moving. His words casting a spell on you that kept you in place. – “I beg of you…” – you breathed in shivers, feeling his hands slide up the back of your arms. His sudden touch captivating you. – “I have lost myself in you.” – whispered he out, breathing against your neck.

You turned around sharply with tears in your eyes. – “I’m scared…” – exclaimed you. – “I am afraid that I might be the cause of all your pain. I do not wish that upon you. I love you… and the fact that I love you is why I must protect you.” – cried you out. Benedict moved his trembling hand towards your cheek, letting it rest there. – “I’m scared that all has been for nothing. That I can’t be the loving wife you require, that I cannot give you what you desire, that I cast my shadow upon you. I have seen it.” – you gave Benedict a slight push against his chest. 

“I have seen what my condition does to people.” – you moved your head slightly to the side, seeing your father stare shameful at the ground. He knew you were speaking of him. Of all the deeds he had done towards you. – “I have seen it change them. Change them so much they are afraid to look at me. Benedict, I don’t want you to stop looking at me.” – tears were streaming ruthlessly down your cheek, clouding your vision. Benedict curled up a tiny smile. – “I shall never.” – whispered he to you. – “You don’t know that…” – answered you back. Benedict inhaled deeply, looking up to the blank night sky for a moment.

“I am telling you… right here that I love you Y/n. All of you.” – spoke he out, gazing back at you. With his palm against your cheek, wiped he some tears away. – “Don’t be afraid my love… It is time to let go of your fears…” – you shuddered, closing your eyes for a moment. – “Do not let society decide for you, do not let it lead your life. For I shall stand by your side no matter what. If the queen forbids you from the season, let her be… for I have already found who I wish to marry.” – slowly opening your eyes again, stared you in his hopeful eyes.

You loved his sense of hope when you could not. – “Y/n, I ask you again… will you accept my hand in marriage for I will love you entirely.” – He rose your hand up, holding it gently in his hand. Everyone was waiting in anticipation for you to speak. Benedict inhaling deeply as his chest rose with the tension building up inside of him. You could not deny your doubts and fears, but perhaps you simply had to take that leap. For how else were you going to discover what laid at the bottom of the cliff. For love is scary, allowing oneself to fully let go to experience it’s deepness. Love was a burning flame, bursting with light with one single touch.

You curled up a smile, slowly nodding. – “With all my heart.” – whispered you out, finally letting go of your fears. A smile spread across his lips, unable to contain himself. Benedict moved his hands around your back, lifting your body a bit up. Inhaling sharply, pressed he his lips against yours. That simple touch that made you reborn. Become a whole new person. Moving your hands to his jawline, tilted you your head to kiss him from a different angle. Love was indeed a burning flame that you felt inside of you. Why did you ever doubt him. It finally was clear to you that he loved you, all of you. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore for you had each other. You didn’t have to be alone anymore, for love has found its way to you. Granting you with the upmost caring gentleman one could ever give. Benedict Bridgerton, your artist, your protector, your friend, your husband.

Anthony cleared his throat, breaking Benedict, and you apart. – “How this is all very warmly, I do have to remind you that we are in public.” – informed Anthony with a shy smile on his face. Benedict and you took a step apart from each other. Gazing with deep affection to one another. – “Y/n darling, we must get home… I do not wish to be handled like that again.” – your father was right. It was wrong to stand here as she had casted you out so easily. – “We must head back inside for our dearest sister and mother.” – pointed Colin out, looking a bit over his shoulder. Benedict took your hand, leaving a caring kiss on top of it. Smiling at him, watched you him step back, letting your hand slowly slip out of his till it hung beside your body again. 

Father took you by the arm, leading you towards the carriage. The two of you got inside as you sat by your fathers side. He threw his arm around you as you came laying against his chest. – “I hope you can forgive me… I cannot give any excuses for my behavior, and I will not for I have committed a crime. I do hope you can forgive your dear old papa for his blind eye.” – he threw his other arm around you as well, pulling you closer to him. – “From now on, I shall always be there for you. In sickness and in health, for I do not wish to lose you.” – He turned his head, kissing the top of your head.

A sudden crack of wood made you fly up in the carriage. Landing firmly back onto the seats as one part of the carriage had been send down. – “Father what is going on?” – called you out anxiously as the carriage came to a sudden stop. He held his finger to his lips, telling you to be quiet. Outside heard you loud voices. Father looked frightened at you, his face turning pale. – “Whatever you hear… stay here!” – demanded he, gripping tight onto your hand. – “Father!” – whispered you out in panic, seeing him take his leave. You moved over to the door, keeping your head out of sight. 

You tried to listen in to the sudden voices as it sounded that they were with many. – “Good sirs…” – heard you, your father say with his hands up. You gasped in shock, covering up your mouth when you witness your father being punched in the stomach. He stumbled to the ground in pain. You wanted to jump out of the carriage and assist your father in any way. You heard loud laughter, seeing him get kicked in the stomach while he was crawling in pain on the ground. Your hands were trembling with fear. If your father was unable to defend you, what might they do to you once they find you.

A reflection of light marched into the dark as it made you widen your eyes. Torches. They were carrying torches and they were marching… marching up to the carriage. Your father knew what they were going to do as well, grabbing a hold of one’s ankle. – “Stop! My daughter is in there… please…” – begged he out, receiving another kick. He groaned in out in pain, rolling over to the side. A man held his hand out, demanding to be given a torch. – “No… please… stop…” – called your father out in pain, feeling every bone in his body hurt. – “You shouldn’t have brought her to the palace.” – said the man holding the torch, leaning down to your fathers face. 

“No… I beg of you… my daughter is innocent.” – pleaded your father with them, trying to get back up to his feet. – “We’ve all heard the rumors!” – shouted he loud, roaring up his crowd. – “Your daughter is a stain to our society, and we don’t want her kind here!” – his men cheered loud as he threw his hand up. – “No!” – father screamed in pain, locking eyes with you in the carriage. You were terrified, unable to move as you heard them approach. They started banging on the carriage to scare you. You were being shaken around, crying in terror. – “Get… away… from my daughter!” – called your father out between clenched teeth, pushing himself to get up.

With his hand against his stomach, limped he over. Desperate to protect you till his very last breath. – “Father!” – cried you out, wanting to get out but someone was holding the door firmly. Father groaned loud, waving his fist around. He received a blow against his nose, sending him down. – “No!” – screamed you out, trying to get out of the carriage. They just walked over him like he was nothing. – “Let me out!” – yelled you out, wiping your tears aggressively away. You saw the burning torch come closer, hearing the crackling sounds from crisping wood. Screaming in agony, were you jamming hard against the door that would not budge. 

“We have endured you long enough!” – shouted one of the men at you. Feeling the last bit of strength slip away, felt you lost. How could this be the end when it hasn’t even begun yet. You were going to marry the man you love. Grow old with him and share so many adventures. The torch was so close to the carriage now that it only took a good connection for the carriage to catch fire. You gasped, hearing horses neigh loud. At least three you could distinguish. You heard someone jump off the horse as their feet landed with a thud on the gravely road. Punches were being handed out. Hearing grunts of pain and anger.

You dared to pop your head out of the window, widening your eyes at your rescuers. – “Benedict!” – screamed you out loud. It caught him off guard for a moment, getting punched in the face. Feeling a bit wonky, collapsed Benedict almost to the ground. All men had moved away from the carriage, fighting against one of the Bridgerton brothers. It suddenly started to feel warm in the carriage as you spotted that the torch had been dropped. Laying against the broken wooden wheel, catching fire. You called it out, kicking your feet against the doorframe as it wouldn’t budge. – “Dear God!” – breathed Anthony out, seeing the carriage catch fire.

“Colin!” – shouted he out, punching a guy in the face. His boxing skills coming in handy after all. Colin nodded, pushing a man’s grip off him. He than ran over to the carriage, trying to pull the door open. He was kicking against it, pulling at it, anything for it to move. The carriage started to fill up with smoke as the ceiling started to catch fire as well. – “Colin!” – called you out, keeping yourself as low as possible. – “Come on!” – grunted Colin out, wanting the door to work with him. Benedict saw his brother struggling as well as the burning carriage. He fought off the handy man that he couldn’t shake off. With a bloody forehead, jumped he over some unconscious fallen men, aiding his brother.

“Y/n! it’s going to be alright love.” – reassured he you, pulling at the handle. – “It won’t work!” – answered Colin hastily. Benedict clenched his jaw, not ready to lose you. You were crying, laying with your head on the seat to stay as low as possible. Benedict moved his hand to the window frame, trying to see if you could fit through. – “I’m going to pull you out, my love, I promise you.” – called he out desperately, trying to break the framework of the window. It cracked since it had been weakened by the warmness of the flames. Benedict reached his arms into the carriage as you got up. You felt the intense heat above you, sticking your hands out. Benedict moved his arms tightly around you, lifting you up as he tried to pull you out through the open window. 

Colin helped pulling, pushing your body a bit up so that it could tip you over. You popped free, falling onto Benedict as he fell to the ground. From intense happiness, cried you in his arms. Telling him how much you loved him and how scared you were. Colin helped the two of you up to your feet, moving away from the burning carriage. Anthony had fought off the last man as many others had taken a run for it. He was now helping your father up to his feet. – “Your… your bleeding.” – called you out, touching his forehead briefly. It stinged but he tried to not let you see it. – “It’s nothing.” – reassured he you, taking your hand in his.

“How… how is it that you are here?” – questioned you, laying in Benedicts arms on the grass. Your head resting against his chest while he cherished you in his embrace. – “We heard them talk about their plans.” – replied Anthony out of breath. You snuggled closer to Benedict, seeking comfort. You didn’t want to say it, but it frightened you how you were still not out of the clear. It was never simple with the two of you. Always an obstacle in the way that would prevent you from loving. A cruel society, one more turning their back on you. Benedict noticed the doubts reflecting in your eyes as he tilted your chin up to him. – “Don’t go refusing me again, Y/n. My heart can’t take it.” – chuckled he out. – “I won’t… not this time.” – responded you, looking deep into his eyes. – “I am not afraid anymore.”

Eloise clamped onto her brother with a smile on her face. Trees of blossom were spreading their petals through the wind. It was a happy day for everyone as two would be reunited into one. Benedict and you were ready to say your vows. To no longer be two, but one. For one cannot stand without the other. With pride in his eyes, gazed Benedict upon your arrival. You were dressed in all white, holding onto your father’s arm. He was being supported by a cane as his body had not healed up properly yet from the incident. 

He guided you towards your intended. Eloise let go of her brother as Benedict extended his hand out to you. You let yours slip into his, walking up to him. – “Are you ready my love?" - whispered he to you. – “You can always turn back now before you are bound to me.” – chuckled you out. – “Not a chance.” – responded he, leaving a gentle kiss against your forehead. Taking his arm, allowed you him to guide you inside. It was a small ceremony, just those close to you present. You sealed you vows with a kiss as loud cheering filled the church.

Outside hugged you everyone before your departure with your newly wedded husband. Never in a million years did you think you would call one husband. You thought no one would love you with what you carried, but one did. And one phenomenal one indeed. You couldn’t have wished for a better person to love. You finally found yourself worthy of being loved. Gregory bowed before you with a saddened face. – “Aw Gregory.” – said you, kneeling down to him. 

He threw your arms around your neck, moving your arms around him. – “I’ll miss you.” – whispered he into your ear. You moved his head back, wiping a tear of his cheek. – “I’ll miss you too dear Gregory, but I promise to invite you soon as you…” – you touched his nose with your finger brief. – “don’t forget to invite me to tea as many times as you like.” – That made him laugh between his tears. You pulled yourself back up, taking Benedicts hand. You waved everyone goodbye one last time before heading off.

The wood in the fireplace was crackling delightful. You stood before it, warming your hands up to it. Benedict approached you from behind, letting his fingers go up your arm. His face buried in the crook of your neck. There he planted a kiss. A soft kiss that made you smile. His hands slowly lowered towards your waist, leaving another kiss in your neck. He pushed some fabric aside over your shoulder to kiss it as well. You melted at his touch that send shivers up your spine. – “My dear wife.” – breathed he out, kissing your bare shoulder again. 

You turned around, laying your arms around his neck. – “My dear husband.” – replied you, staring dreamingly at him. He brought his lips down towards yours, whilst holding onto you firmly. He started guiding you away from the fireplace, his lips forever on yours. Kissing him with such longing, it made your heart beat out of your chest. You could feel the pounding of his heart against yours, beating for one another. Standing close by the bed, guided he his hands up. He unbuttoned you, dropping your dress to the floor. His hands then started to fumble the ribbon of your corset. You guided your hands down to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt.

With one smooth pull, untied he the knot at the top of your corset. You giggled against his lips at how eager he was. Benedict kept kissing you whilst trying to tear the corset off you. It slipped off as he let it drop to the ground. You carefully stepped out of it, standing only in your undergarments. Benedict’s hand laid against your back, feeling your warm skin underneath his palm. For the first time, felt he truly close to you. Feeling every bit of your core. You stopped kissing him for a moment, holding him as he guided his lips to your neck. He kept kissing you uncontrollably as your body warmed up by his touch. 

You gasped quietly at the sudden sense. It felt unsettling as you questioned it at first if it was real. Benedict stopped kissing you, placing his hand against your cheek. – “Are you alright Y/n?” – questioned he, sensing something was off. You fluttered with your eyelashes, winching at the sting of pain coming from inside of you. You bend down, gripping onto his shirt as you held your stomach. It was happening again. One of your episodes at the worst timing. A sting of pain went through your entire body, making you collapse through your knees. Benedict gasped, preventing you from falling.

You pushed him away, falling onto the ground. He stared at you in shock, hoping you wouldn’t turn him away again. You crawled back against a closet, coughing loud. Your entire body shivering from the intense pain as Benedict witnessed your condition firsthand. You kept coughing loud, unable to stop as you let your fingers slide down your throat. Wheezing were you grasping for breath. It was like your lungs were on hold, not working for a moment as you felt like suffocating. Benedict rushed to your side, kneeling beside you. – “Breath Y/n, breath!” – called he out in a state of panic. 

Your head laid back, grasping for air. You witnessed the concern in his eyes, slowly cracking him. Then gasped you loud, screaming in tears. You let your head fall forwards against Benedict’s arm, crying loud. – “Please….” – begged you him. A part of you still wanted to seclude this from him. Shield him from the pain inside of you. Your body twitched, coughing loud in your hand. Benedict was in slight shock, not knowing what to do. It was clear that he was no match for your illness. – “Please…” – begged you again, wanting him to turn a blind eye. Benedict shook his head firmly, inhaling deeply.

“I promised to love you in sickness and in health.” – replied he, letting his palm go upwards your cheek. – “What must I do?” – whispered he to you. You pointed lifelessly at the bed, unable to control your tears. Benedict carefully picked you up from the ground, leading you over to the bed. He laid you down, staring bewildered at you. You took his hand, pulling it down. You wanted him to lay beside you. So he did, laying himself carefully beside you. You rolled over to your side, pulling his hand over your body. Benedict understood what you meant, crawling closer against your body. He slid his arm underneath your body so that he could fully hold you close. 

You cried in terror, wishing for the pain to go away. The pain that made every muscle in your body sting. Benedict kept his body firmly against yours, burying his face in your hair, closing his eyes. He felt the shocks your body made against his, making him grip onto you firmer. Fearing that if he faltered, you might slip away from him. – “I love you Y/n.” – said he, kissing the back of your shoulder. He wanted you to know you are so loved, even in a state like this. He thought he would be scared and at first, he was. Laying here with you, gave him the strength to carry on. He understood that you needed him, that he needed to be the better man. If this was what a life spending with you meant. Then he would gladly spend it like this. In time he would learn to pick up any of your signals better to ease your way through it.

“I am sorry…” – said you between coughs. – “What for?” – asked he, lifting his head a bit up. – “For ruining our wedding night…” – Benedict kissed your neck gently. – “Our night is not ruined my love. I say it brought me closer to you in any way possible.” – you cracked up a tiny smile, finding some joy between your pain. – “Besides I shall have from now on every night with you. You might find me annoying one day when you wish not to sleep so tightly in my embrace.” – chuckled he out. You rolled a bit over to your back, looking up to him. – “I could never…” – whispered you to him. Benedict lowered his head, kissing your forehead as you felt so weak. – “I’ll watch over you…” – said he, making you exhale deep. You rolled back to the side, clamping onto his arms around you. Like a cocoon were you held safe in his embrace. Where nothing bad could ever touch you.

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[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 7: A Promise

Warnings: So. Much. Pain. The reader hates herself a lot. Gunshot wound, crying, yelling, deep depression and suicidal thoughts. This one is really dark, so please don’t read if you don’t feel you can handle it.

Author’s Note: Thank you to anyone who has supported this so far. It means the world. I’m sorry in advance for this one.

(gif gotten from adventures-of-din-and-grogu)

The three of you sat in bone-chilling silence for what felt like hours. In reality, it wasn’t even a minute.

Everyone seemed hypnotized bu the blade. The blade that cut down innocent people, innocent villages, innocent planets, all by your hand.

The blade to you represents the Empire. How much it’s taken and the damage it has caused to everyone in the room. The glowing evil casts over the room like a shadow of red and blood and pain.

And Cara… is indescribable.

Her face shows no emotion yet all of them at the same time. Her eyes look like fire and her jaw is so tense you are surprised it hasn’t snapped. Her arms are flexing as her hands grip the ignited blade, and she’s avoiding your gaze on purpose. You can tell.

But yet she’s silent. Just frozen in place. And it’s killing you. You just want her to say something. Scream at you, fight you, kill you, whatever.

You almost forgot Mando was even sitting next to Cara, until his voice broke the tension in the room for a fraction of a second.

“Is that….” he said, and your tears finally started flowing down your face.

It was bad enough Cara knew what the color meant, but of course Mando knew too. That blade is a piece of nightmares.

Finally, Cara powered down the weapon and set it beside her. Her arms were still tight and her face was contorted as if she was in intense pain.

She was in pain. You betrayed the only people who didn’t betray you fist.

“Cara… please… just let me-“ you begin, but you are interrupted by a gun shot.

A shot that Cara fired right into your stomach.

You saw it coming. You felt it. But you couldn’t fight her back. You would just be proving her right.

Mando immediately jumped to his feet and pushed Cara against the wall, holding both of her hands above her head. You hear her gun hit the floor.

“Stop,” he yells right in her face, and she tries to get away from his grip, but they are equally matched.

She struggled for a couple of seconds against Mando’s grip before finally giving up.

“Stop,” he said more softly this time, but there was no stopping Cara.

“I’m going outside,” she said through gritted teeth, and Mando let her.

You, however, were on your knees, clutching your stomach.

You wanted to scream and cry and die. Your tears streamed down your face like never before and your throat was burning from holding back the sobs.

You didn’t even care about your stomach. You had been shot plenty of times, but your remorse and guilt weighed you down like an anchor and pulled you to the floor.

Your leaders killed Cara’s family, and you helped the Empire get big enough so that it didn’t even matter. Their lives were expendable to the Empire. Needed to prove a point and convey a message.

A part of you hoped Cara would kill you. It would give her more reason to start to heal.

You heard Cara storm out, and you waited for Mando to follow.

But he didn’t.

After he made sure Cara wasn’t coming back, he booked it to you with a healing kit in hand.

As soon as you felt his energy turn to you, his worry, his pain, and deep under all that, his disappointment, you lost it.

You yelp and cry. Like a child.

“Mando don’t. Please don’t,” you manage to speak through your sobs as he kneels down in front of you.

“No. Enough,” he says to you as he gets the heeling pack open and takes out a bacta shot. A healing shot that could heal even the deadliest wounds. Not to mention, they were incredibly rare.

You try to push his hands away even though you feel weaker than ever.

“Please…I don’t deserve it,” you sob out and Mando grabs both of your wrists.

“Enough,” he yells, and your eyes snap up to meet his visor.

“Please… I’m not gonna let you die,” he pleads. He could tell he scared you, so he used a softer tone.

You stare at him for a couple seconds, breathing hard and letting out chocked sobs. If he said that in any other circumstance, you would feel soft and warm. Touched even. But you were still surrounded by so much pain and heartbreak, that you just nodded your head and allowed him to give you the full shot.

He wrapped your stomach in sterile gauze to stop the bleeding. He explained that Cara’s shot was a little off target, and so it only grazed your hip, but you didn’t care. You gave him respectful nods to make it look like you were listening, but you were beyond defeated. It felt like you had been hit by the last wave you could take, and you just wanted to drown.

Why won’t Mando just let me drown?

“I’m…. so sorry,” you choke out. “I should have told you,” you say and the sobs start to return. Mando was the last person in the world who you ever wanted to lie to. He had given you everything. So much more than he has given to any other person, and all you had in return was betrayal and pain.

And yet he was still wrapping your wound.

“Shh..” he whispered to you, “We can discuss later.”

He finished wrapping you and finally looked at your face, and you couldn’t even meet his eyes. His pity was the one you couldn’t take.

“I’ll go and find her,” Mando says, referring to Cara, while giving your shoulder a light squeeze.

How could he even touch you right now. For all he knew you could be betraying him as he spoke. You could have been working with the Empire this whole time and leading them right into a trap.

“Please… just-” he chokes out.

“Just… don’t leave,” he says.

You swore you couldn’t fall any farther for that man, but he proved you wrong.

This selfless, brave, scarred man is asking you to stay. You. You helped tear apart the galaxy. His galaxy. And yet he’s asking you to stay.

It has to be because he’s scared I am going to come out and kill everyone, you convince yourself.

There is no other reason.

“I won’t leave,” you mumble. “I promise.”

Tag list:

@leahkenobi @pinkninja200 @bookloverfilmoholic @farfromjustordinary

[whump-world]

Reunions will hurt

Prompt: Whumpees expressing their frustrations only to be shot down with “other people have it worse.” Superior angst if Whumpee internally agrees and makes a conscious effort never to speak of their problems again. (From this post X)

I know you guys expected villain whump, and quite honestly me too, but my ocs wouldn’t leave me alone! sorry if this isn’t quite what you were waiting for.

TW: implied and referenced past abuse, implied future abuse. not much except for emotional whump.

Tag list: @insaneinthepaingame @firewheeesky @vuvulia @myst-in-the-mirror

One could call it a fated coincidence. Their meeting that is.

Kiḷi was doing his Saturday morning drill. He drove by each of Sir’s factories to check on the accounts none of his thick-headed mates could understand, and finished by two o’clock in the afternoon. Which was around the time the rest of them woke up with a brain damaging headache from the previous night’s partying. No wonder Sir prefers him. That day, he stops to change a tire after the third factory, stomach rumbling for some tea and a good ol’ bun.

Kiḷi needs this done quick and calls on the lady squatting at the front of the store with her back to him. “Miss,” he starts, climbing out the of jeep. “Can I trouble you—“

Thumla’s face greets him as she looks over her shoulder. The Al-Amira around her head hides all the curls of blonde hair. She stills, hazel eyes that sink into brown in the middle flit to his ears. Sir used to make them wear trackers.

Relief trickles into her lips and lifts into a grin to see them gone. She hops to her feet, a water bottle in hand. She’s grown taller than him and casts a lean shadow over him. The scar along her left eyebrow disappears into the scarf, what used to be bright pink now a dull white. “You and your posh manners, Kiḷi. I didn’t have to turn to recognize that.”

Kiḷi stares.

“What? Got grease on my face?”

“Five years,” he rasps. Five fucking years. He narrows his eyes to keep the tears out of his eyes, though the tension in his chest couldn’t be denied. He skips past the first three questions that come to his mind. Where have you been? How are you still alive? How did you have the guts to get away from Sir? Kiḷi settles for “You look old.”

“Punk.” She shoves her hands into the pockets of her denim overalls that must be too much for this hot weather. “I look fine, some would say great—“

“You owe me an explanation,” Kiḷi says, stripping any light air in the conversation. He doesn’t feel light. He could smash a wall with all the frustration he’s holding in. This woman—who helped him join the most nefarious gang in the country, made a partner out of him, taught him how to kill and not be killed—ran. Took her things and ran with the night.

How could she?

Thumla’s observant eyes clocks his temper before it comes. She could read him as much as he could read her. That was how they used to be. Thumla places a hand on his shoulder. She doesn’t try again when he jerks back. Thumla steps back, lips hardening into a straight line. “We can talk, if you’re ready to listen. Stand down.”

He scoffs under his breath. Shakes his head and snatches the water from her. “One bun.”

They silently decide to move out of public eye, a small space between the drain and the door which leads to the back of the garage. The stench is thick, guzzling down any appetite Kiḷi has by the time Thumla comes back with food. He still takes the bun offered to him. Sewage, puke, blood. It doesn’t matter. Kiḷi’s nose is immune to all of it.

“I assumed you were still the boring person you were. Butter and bread,” she glances at the bun with a teasing look.

It took energy to be mad at her. “Shut up, okay?” Kiḷi dampens his uninvited smile, though it’s already too late. “Shut up about my food choices, and tell me why you left.”

“Why do you think I left?”

“I’m serious here,” he says.

“I am too.”

“So what happened?”

“I got a passport, a proper one, stole a few things—“

KiḷI rounds on her. “I know all that. You think I’m fucking dumb, Thumla?” His voice hitches at her cool stare. The piece of bread he choked down must have lodged in his windpipe because he couldn’t breathe.

“So what do you want to know?” she asks. Thumla grabs his collar and yanks him close. “Stop spinning words and ask the right question.”

“Why… you…” he hates her. Almost. “I thought we were friends.”

Her throat bobbles. The grip on Kiḷi’s shirt loosens. She didn’t expect that, he realizes. Big, bad Kiḷi doesn’t acknowledge feelings and friendships. Her breath is hushed, the way it was trained to be regardless of emotions, injuries, loss. “Getting soft on me.”

“I should have said it long time ago.” KiḷI looks away, taking interest in his hands. They’re tanned, with too many scars to count.

“I guess you forgot.” Thumla clears her throat. “We wouldn’t have made it. We wouldn’t have made it out if we went together. So I, I, I didn’t tell a soul. I didn’t even think about it unless I was alone—“

“I would have helped.”

She cracks her knuckles, a little sheepish, a little disbelieving. “Maybe, maybe not. At least you didn’t, you didn’t come after me. Thank you. For letting me have that chance. You did help that way. And, uh, sorry. I’m sure Sir gave you one good beating for that.”

He almost killed Kiḷi for that. He digests all those words, picking and pulling them apart. Why would she think he wouldn’t have helped her— he would have joined her. He tries to plaster a smile; the bubble suffocating him doesn’t let it stay. “I would have helped,” he repeats weakly. “I don’t like being with the gang. Sir— he— he hurt me too. He still does.”

Thumla shrugs, but the casual gesture is loaded with wet envy. Her glance strays to his clean, more-than-what-he-can-afford jacket, then back up. “Okay.”

“He did,” he insists, hunching into himself. The judgement prickles, like a thorn under his skin. Kiḷi couldn’t understand why he needs to convince her. Frustration crushes him in its fist. Thumla used to care about what he said.

“You weren’t his protege back then. I was. You took my place when I couldn’t take more.”

Kiḷi glares. “And you’re going to put that on me?”

“My point is”—she rubs her forehead—“your work was simpler. Follow orders, reap rewards. You don’t, then you take the punishment.”

“Look who’s spinning words now. You think I had it easy.”

She ignores him entirely. “I’m not here to argue with you. You asked why, and there’s the reason. I’m here for a day and talking to you is cutting it close.”

“I’ll be on my way then. I wouldn’t want to ruin your free life by imposing my luxuries on you.” Kiḷi isn’t certain what he’s saying makes sense, but he’s scowling hard enough to make up for it. There’s a roar in his ears as he stalks out of that narrow space and back to his jeep. He could change tyres elsewhere.

Thumla follows him to the front, calling him back with a shaky laugh. “Hey, come on. Don’t be mad—“

“I’m not.” He climbs into the front seat, tossing her a final look. Resting one hand on the steering wheel, he starts the vehicle, letting its growl swallow what Thumla says next. He couldn’t care less.

The answer to the question he’s been toying with for years came as a slap to the face, delivered by none other than Thumla. The usual anger he’s felt ever since she left withers, spitted on and stamped down by humiliation. That’s what the roar in his ears is. Hot, searing humiliation. Kiḷi’s face crumbles and he only manages a short “I’m running late” before he steps on the gas.

He drives away, keeping his eyes peeled for another tyre shop. The glint of his watch fixes a pointed stare on him. His jacket feels too soft, leather seats too comfortable. Even the last of pieces of bread in between his teeth accuses him. Food on his plate, clothes on his back; he shouldn’t complain. Kiḷi shudders. Is it so wrong to want more?

Kiḷi exhales. He wishes he never went to that stupid store.

[ Next ]

[amayawolfe]

Teacups (Illumi x Fem.Reader)

(A/N:  mild fluff, pregnancy, angst, nudity, cross dressing (sorta?), bathing together, emotional struggle)

Word Count: 5755

Name Key: (o/d) = older daughter (name)   (y/d) = younger daughter (name)

(Summary: You come from a small, yet formidable clan of shinobi assassins and have been married to Illum Zoldyck as a way to create a bond with one of the most powerful assassin families in the world. Even though it had been an arranged marriage, you have come to love and care for your husband deeply.

Seven years have passed since your vows were spoken and you are now five months pregnant with yours and Illumi's third and forth child. You've grown concerned with the lack of bonding between Illumi and your two daughters and suggest a "father daughters' day" while you visit family. Shortly after your return home, you are surprised in how far Illumi has taken your suggestion.)

Taglist: @to-move-on-means-to-grow

   "So tell me, (y/n), how have the girls been doing?" your mother asked you over her cup of tea.

   The two of you where sitting at a table just outside your favorite little café in the city nearest Kukuroo mountain. With the sun shinning down on you brightly, warming your skin and clothes, you should have felt relaxed and stress free for a change. However, your mother had a bad tendency to get under your skin.

   You took a sip from your own teacup and leaned back into your chair, rubbing your round pregnant belly as you did so.

   "They're doing well. (o/d) has started her training and is fairing far better than I hoped she would have," you said with a proud smile. "(y/d) has been watching (o/d) and is getting excited for her own training to start."

   Your mother smiled, happy and proud that her granddaughters were showing such keen interest and progress in the family art.

   "I'm so glad to hear that," she said, lightly clapping their hands together in excitement. "They will make wonderfully talented shinobi." She took another sip from her tea before she continued. "And what are the little darlings doing today since you are taking the day off from teaching? I had hoped you would have brought them with you. I haven't seen them in such a long time."

   "Oh, they're having a 'father daughters' day' day with Illumi," you replied nonchalantly.

   Your mother's smile fell away from her lips. She had not been happy with your father when he had made the arrangement with one of the world's mostly deadly and powerful families of assassins.  The youngest of eight children, you were her only daughter. She nearly killed your father when she found out that you were to be married off to the eldest Zoldyck child, Illumi. But by that point the deal was made and there was nothing that she could do.

   Despite being nervous, if not a little scared, you were more than willing to do the deed. Your clan was suffering from lack of work due to over competition. Having ties with the Zoldycks held promise of a more steady stream of jobs. Your clan was highly skilled in their ways and made formidable allies. It was a win win situation.

   The first meeting with your future husband had been an awkward one, to say the least. He was quiet for the most part, and shown less emotion than a corpse. At one point you had giggled at the thought that if he were anymore tense, and just held his breath, he could pass for one.

   Your mother had always said you were a strange child.

   "You mean, they are spending the day with those butlers?" she asked in a condescending tone.

   Mother didn't like the idea of the butlers either. She was one of those that believed you should take care of your own home. To be honest, you secretly believed she was jealous. Having a butler when you had eight children would have been welcomed help, surely.

   "Mother, please be nice," you chided. "You know I consider the butlers to be friends and family as well."

   Out of the corner of your eye you could see the dark skinned young woman, Canary, smile a little as she pretended to read the paper. While she may have looked like she was laid back and inattentive sitting there, you knew that every one of those sharp senses of hers were alert and on the look out for any potential threat to you.

   In truth, you were perfectly capable of defending yourself; pregnant or not. Having been one of the top shinobi warriors in your clan, you were skilled enough to put many of the experienced clans men face down into the dirt. Allowing Canary to come along was to help put Illumi's concerns at ease more than anything else. That, and you enjoyed the young lady's company. She wasn't quite as uptight as most of the other butlers.

   "And I really wish you would give Illumi a chance," you sighed as you refreshed your cup from the decorated cast iron pot that was sitting on the table. "He's been working really hard to improve himself and isn't the same person you first met."

   Your mind flashed back to when Illumi had arrived for yours and his first meet. Mother had tagged along to make sure you would not be killed right on the spot, something you still rolled your eyes at to this day. He had been extremely formal in a robotic and monotone way.

   In the most deadpan manner you had ever seen, he had held up his hand and said, "Hello (y/n)'s mother, I am here to take meet with your daughter to make sure we are compatible before we are married." It was kind of cute, in an odd psychopathic kind of way.

   You were pretty sure your mother had spied on the two of you through out the rest of that day.

   "And no," you continued the conversation with a small shake of your head, "I meant what I said.  I've pointed out to him that he needs to bond with the girls more and made the suggestion for him, and him alone, to spend the day with them."

   "Is that man even capable of 'bonding'?"

   There was a loud "tink" and the sudden sensation of burning washed over your fingers. You had broken your teacup. Your building frustration and anger towards your mother's comments had caused you to squeeze it too hard. The delicate little cup had no chance in the powerful grip you had placed around it.

   Canary stood instantly and began cleaning up the hot liquid before you even had a chance to blink or fully register what had happened.

   "Are you alright, mam?" she asked, honestly concerned. You let out a frustrated sigh and shook the remaining liquid from your scalded fingers.

   "Yes, dear, I'm fine." Your gaze locked with your mother's, "If you can't speak kindly about my husband, mother, then I'm afraid that we are going to have to call it a day." A cold, deadly tone harbored within your voice.

   Your mother sternly held your glare for a few seconds before she closed her eyes and sighed, her body posture crumpled a bit.

   "I'm sorry, (y/n)," she said, slightly shaking her head, "I guess I still feel bitter that your choice on whom to marry was taken away from you. And, I still wo-"

   "Worry about me and the girls?" you interrupted. Canary had finished cleaning the mess and brought you a fresh cup. She gracefully filled it from the same pot you had just used then turned and bowed to you ever so slightly. You thanked her and asked her to return to what she had been doing.

   "Mother, that always seems to be your excuse for your rudeness," your tone was accusatory; your face, stern. "It's been over seven years since Illumi and I were married and I honestly can't think of a time I've been happier."

   Your mother grimaced.

   "Even though our marriage was arranged, he treats me as his equal. Together we have worked on slowly undoing the countless years of damage his parents did to him since he was a child. He's made huge progress, but he will never be what you and I would consider 'normal'. Emotions will always be something difficult for him to understand. Not to mention feel or show. But believe me when I say he does love and care for me, as well as his children."

   Upon saying your last sentence your mother had begun to open her mouth to make a retort, but you already knew what she was going to say and help up a single finger to silence her.

   "Before you even say 'a man who loves his children shouldn't have to be told when he needs to bond with them', keep in mind that his parents never bonded with him. Or at least not in a healthy, loving manner. The fact that he was willing to listen to me, understand what I was telling him, and put in the effort for today speaks volumes."

   You had to stop and take a deep, calming breath. The rising volume of your voice, along with your rising blood pressure and heart rate, was starting to upset the twins within your belly. You could feel them kicking frantically and moving about as you angrily defended their father from your mother. Taking another deep breath, your forced yourself to relax the best you could and began to rub your belly again.

   "I know your weren't entirely happy with your arranged marriage with father," you continued in a calmer state, "but I am. I love Illumi, mother, so very much. I'm sorry that you and father couldn't find a way to love each other the way Illumi and I do. But please, do not try to insert your bitter, negative emotions into our lives. If you can't be happy for me and respect my family as a whole, then I am afraid we will simply have to go back to writing letters to one another until you can learn to do so."

 A glowering expression was now etched upon your mothers face, your own had become deadpan. The two of you stared at one another in silence for a few minutes as the town's normal hustle and bustle of people continued to flow passed you.

   Your mother's lips scowled as she took a deep breath through her nose.

   "Well, in that case, I do believe I will be heading back home," she flatly announced. Your mother removed her napkin from her lap and tossed it onto the table as she rose from her seat. With hands shaking from her own anger, she quickly gathered herself together and started to turn to walk away.

   "Farewell, my daughter," she called back over her shoulder, "do contact me when my grandsons are born, will you? I think you will find that I am right by that point."

   You watched the back of her head as she walked away until she disappeared into the crowd. You continued to glare at the spot you had last seen her, the edges of your vision began to turn red and your body began to tremble with seething rage.

   The sudden feeling of your teacup being plucked out of your hands snapped you out of your downward spiral. Looking over, Canary was standing beside now holding your cup.

   "I'm sorry, mam, but I did not want you to burn yourself again," she informed softly. You looked down at your hands just in time to see the last of the white fading from your knuckles and fingers. You must have been squeezing it without realizing it again.

   With a sigh your shoulders drooped and you leaned all the way back into your chair, allowing your head to fall back. You watched the clouds lazily drift across the sky above you as your mind turned.

   I'm sorry father... I tried to mend things with her, but, she's just so damn stubborn and bitter!

   "Shall we call it a day, mam?" Canary asked.

   "No," you lifted your head to look into her gentle grey eyes, "I'm not expected home for another few hours. And to be honest, I do not wish to return home while in such a foul mood."

   "Understandable," Canary set the teacup back down in front of you. "What do you propose?"

   Taking a sip from your still hot tea, you mulled things over in your head a little. Looking at the scenery around you, you hummed in thought and lightly tapped a finger nail on your cup.

   "Ah!" you exclaimed. "How about we have a girls day and do a bit of shopping together before we get something to eat. It should be about time to go home by the time we're done. Maybe we could even get something for your lady friend, Amane" A sly, knowing grin graced your lips and you winked at her.

   "Eh!" she started and looked down, her cheeks darkened a little. "You.. You really don't have to do that, mam."

   "Oh, come on," you laughed lightly, "you know you're the closest person I have to a friend besides Illumi. And shopping with him isn't the same as shopping with you!"

   "I have got to admit," Canary added softly, "Master Illumi does have some interesting tastes when it comes to his choice in outfits."

   You laughed a little louder.

   "That he does, my dear. I suspect he may be getting some influence from that clown friend of his."

   You paid for the drinks and the two of you were off.

   Since this was the first time you were having boys, you wanted to get some new things for the nursery. Most of what you needed or wanted was going to be ordered online, but you still enjoyed going from store to store looking at what each one had to offer.

   After a few hours and many a shopping bag later, you and Canary eventually stop to have dinner. You were more than ready to get off your feet for a little while. The first two times you were pregnant you didn't tire so easily and your feet were not as quick to swell or become sore. Carrying twice as much baby, the case was a little different this time round.

   While waiting for your food, you decided to text Illumi.

You: We're stopping for dinner before we head home, should I bring anything for you and the girls?

   You nibbled on an appetizer while awaiting your husbands response. It didn't take him long as he sent a picture with a blurred portion of his face in the shot and the girls making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with chips in the background. It seemed they were both making a bit of a mess, and was that peanut butter on Illumi's cheek?

Illumi: No, we're good, thank you. See you soon.

   You laughed and showed the picture to Canary who smiled and chuckled lightly. Peanut butter and jelly with chips most definitely would not have been your first choice for dinner. But seeing as Illumi had very limited experience with cooking, it was probably the safest route to go. Most importantly, it looked like they were having a good time.

   Idle chit chat was pleasantly shared between you and Canary as the two of you enjoyed your food. Once dinner was done and paid for, all the shopping bags were packed into the car and the two of you were on your way home.

   It didn't take long for you to start dozing off a little. The combination of a roller coaster of emotions, having been on your feat, being pregnant, and then having a nice large meal had really drained you. The gentle motion of the car was no help either.

   Before you knew it, Canary was calling out to you.

   "Lady (y/n), we're home."

   With a mild start you became fully alert. Blinking, you looked out your window and saw your family's home. Separate and a fair distance from the Zoldyck family mansion, the large house was built for you Illumi just before (o/d) was born.

   You got out of the car and stretched, then turned to Canary.

   "Could you please take those bags to the nursery? I'll go through them later."

   "As you please, mam," Canary replied with a slight bow.

   Thanking her, you turn and head up the stairs to the front door. Upon entering your home, you removed your shoes, set them aside and hung your purse on it's hook. Your ears were alert for the sounds of your daughters and husband. The house was quiet.

   "Illu? (o/d)? (y/o)?" you called.

   "They're in the girls' room, lady (y/n)," a familiar voice replied from the kitchen. Coming round the corner, you found Amane cleaning up the dinner mess your husband and children left behind.

   The mess wasn't terrible. Bread and chip crumbs, smeared jelly and peanut butter on the counters as well as some spilt milk. The sink was filling with soapy water for the dinner dishes to be washed, dried, and put away since their wasn't enough to run the dishwasher. The girls had most definitely made larger messes in the past, but you felt a little guilty none the less.

   "Ah, Amane, I'm sorry. Illumi should have known to clean up after they were done."

   Amane just shook her head.

   "It's alright, mam. There really isn't much to it."

   "I know, but still.." you smile and laugh lightly, "Thank you."

   You continue further into the house towards the girls' room. As you got closer, you could faintly hear your daughters' voices. Curiosity took hold of you and you brought your stealth training into play. Slowly creeping up to the open door, you carefully leaned in and peaked into your daughters' room.

   You blinked once. Twice. Several more times as your mouth slowly fell open in complete and utter shock.

   Your daughters were sitting in their small chairs at a low, round table made for children while you husband was sitting on his knees. There was also a large stuffed dog that looked a lot like Mike sitting in one of the children's chairs at the table. (o/d)'s pastel colored plastic tea set was set up about the table. Little plastic plates held evidence there had once been treats upon them as there were cookie crumbs left behind.

   The girls were dressed in pretty kimonos, gifts from grandmother Kikyo, and were wearing makeup. To much eye shadow and rouge, messy lipstick, you recognized (o/d) handy work. They were having a conversation with Illumi occasionally adding in a comment or answering a question when one was directed to him. Every so often, one of them, including Illumi, would take a sip from their plastic cup.

   But, it wasn't just the sight of your fearsome assassin husband playing tea party with his two beautiful little girls that had caught you so off guard. No, it was how he looked.

   Illumi was wearing one of your fancy kimonos over his clothes. The size of his chest and shoulders prevented the front from closing properly, but the three of them didn't seem to mind. His long, luxurious hair was tied into several messy braids of which varied in size. Each long braid ended with a pastel colored ribbon tied into a bow.

   Copious amounts of makeup in the same manner as the girls was proof that Illumi's face had also been a canvas for (o/d)'s application practice. Jade green eyeshadow nearly reached his high sitting eyebrows and went as far down as tops of his cheekbone. The eyeshadow nearly blended into the large amount of rose pink rogue that practically covered the entirety of his cheeks. Dark plum colored lipstick was messily applied to his thin lips in a manner that reminded you of a comic book villain from your childhood. Illumi honestly looked more clown-like than his friend.

   Once your initial shock had faded, you found yourself smiling from ear to ear. Quietly, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and brought up the camera. You made sure to keep your movements slow as you carefully aimed your phone lens towards your family.

   Just as you were about to take the picture, (y/d) caught sight of you.

   "Mama!!" she happily cheered.

   Her actions caused both (o/d) and Illumi to glance at (y/d) then look in the same direction she was. That's when you took the picture. It was perfect.

   "Oh, hello dear, did you just get home?" Illumi inquired.

   "I did," you replied. You came into the room and smiled at each one of them in turn. "I'm sorry if I interrupted your tea party my darlings."

   "It's okay mama," (o/d) said, "we can move Mike Jr. and you can join us!"

   Before you could respond, (o/d) started to get up to move the stuffed animal. But then Illumi held up a hand, causing her to stop.

   "Actually, I do believe it is close to yours and your sisters bedtime. The two of you should get ready for bed."

   "Awwww," both the girls cried out in disappointment, causing you to let out a soft giggle.

   They really must have been having fun if they don't want to stop. I'm glad.

   "But, we wanna keep playing, papa," (y/d) whined. She was starting to get tears in eyes. It was a sign that she actually was starting to get sleepy, even though she didn't really show it. (y/d) only really ever cried anymore when she was starting to get tired.

   "Now, now," Illumi reached over and patted (y/d) on the head. "We can play more tomorrow after lunch when (o/d) is done with her training. I don't have to leave for my mission for another couple of days, so we have plenty of time to play."

   "You promise?" (y/d) sniffled.

   "I promise," he assured his littler girl in his usual expressionless tone.  

   "Alright then, girls, I'll help you wash up for bed. Illumi? Would please take the dirty dishes to Amane? She's in the kitchen cleaning up right now."

   "Yes, I can do that." Illumi stood and started to collect the dishes when (y/d) suddenly grabbed one of his arms.

   "Papa, please read our bedtime story!"

   Illumi's eyebrows rose a little. He had never been asked to read their bedtime story before. This prospect excited (o/d) as her little face lit up and she eagerly grabbed her father's free arm.

   "Yeah, papa! Please? Could you read us a story tonight? Please?"

   You laughed at your daughters' enthusiasm. The sight of them begging their father like this was just too cute. Illumi looked over at you and you wave your hand palm up and gestured to the girls as if to say, "well?"

  He looked back down at his daughters and gave a single nod. "Very well then. Go with mama and I will read you two a story when you are all cleaned up."

   "Yeeaaahhh!!" the girls cheered together and bolted out of the room for the bathroom. Illumi watched as they ran out, a small, barely noticeable smile was on his colored lips. His dark, wide eyed gaze then turned to you as you wrapped your arms around one of his now vacant ones.

   "I take it you three had fun today?"

   "Yes, I do believe the mission was a success."

   You suppressed a laugh which caused you to make a noise akin to a snort.

   "Bonding with your daughters is not a mission, my love, but it is a worthy goal. And it seems that today was a good step towards that goal."

   "I do not see much of a difference, but I will take your word for it."

   You rolled your eyes and went to kiss him on the cheek, but quickly stopped yourself when you remembered the thick layer of makeup and kissed his nose instead.

   Upon hearing the girls starting to make a ruckus in the bathroom you released your husband and turned in their direction. Illumi took this as his cue to continue collecting the dishes for Amane to clean.

   A few minutes into helping the girls clean up their faces a startled cry from the kitchen nearly made you jump out of your skin. You became alert and listened carefully for any signs of a fight starting. There where none. However, you could hear the voices of Illumi, Canary and Amane talking in a light hearted manner.

   "I think papa scared Amane," (o/d) giggled. You blinked at her and quickly pieced together what she was thinking.

   With the way Illumi looked at the moment, his face and hair done up and wearing clothes in an odd fashion, Amane may have not recognized him right away. You couldn't help but chuckle a little at this realization.

   "I think you're right, (o/d)."

   Once the girls were cleaned up and in their night clothes they both jumped into (o/d)'s bed just as Illumi was returning. (y/d) had already chosen the book for the night and was excitedly waving it in the air. It was "The Big Book of Bedtime Stories".

   Illumi settled down between the girls who snuggled up to him and got comfortable as he turned to the right page.

   "Alright then," Illumi cleared his throat to begin the story, "Once upon a time, in a forest thick with trees and dancing with life, there was a small family that lived in a cottage by the river."

   Illumi continued reading in his steady, monotone voice. It was soothing, if not somewhat hypnotic. You even caught yourself dozing off while seated at the foot of the bed. Looking over at your family, you found yourself smiling once again. It had not even been ten minutes and they were both sound asleep.

   Normally, it would take around 15-20 minutes before the girls would even start to fall asleep. But with the constant activities of the day with their father and his steady hypnotic tone in his story telling, it was almost like Illumi had cast the perfect sleeping spell.

   Your husband had not yet realized the girls so you took out your phone and snuck another picture without him realizing it. You then reached out and gentle squeezed his foot in your hand. He paused and glanced up to see you pointing at your daughters in which he followed your direction. Looking down at the sleeping figures, Illumi's usual deadpan expression softened ever so slightly and the corners of his mouth turned up into a tiny smile.

   Looking back up at you, you gave him a thumbs up and stood up from the bed. He carefully scoot down between the girls to reach where you had been sitting. Once there, he too stood up from the bed then turned and carefully scooped up (y/d) in to his strong arms. Without producing even the slightest of sounds he strode across the room and tucked (y/d) into her bed as you tucked in (o/d).

   You followed Illumi out of the room, turning off the light as you went. Once a little ways from the room, you spoke.

   "I didn't expect them to fall asleep so quickly. Maybe I should have you read to them more often."

   "Hmmm, perhaps," he said thoughtfully. "Although I am sure having a long day had something to do with their tired state."

   "Oh, I'm sure you're right. But still, I think you did a really good job." Illumi actually smiled at your praise. "Now, lets head to our bathroom, I'll help you get cleaned up."

   The two of you headed into the bathroom where you went straight to your vanity to retrieve your makeup removal products.

   "Oh," you heard Illumi exclaim causing you to look up at him. He was leaning across the vanity and looking at himself closely in the mirror. After a few moments he turned towards you with his usual expression and pointed to his face.

   "(o/d) really did a number on me, didn't she. I can see how I startled Amane. I'm hideous."

   You blinked, then burst out laughing. Illumi was somewhat startled by your reaction and he turned to look at himself in the mirror again while still pointing to his face.

   "I honestly don't see what's so funny."

   "I'm sorry, dear," you gasped between bouts of laughter, tears in your eyes," I- It's just- Are you just now seeing your face?!"

   "Well, sort of. (o/d) put this on just before the tea party. She showed me with one of their toy mirrors, but I figured since it was a toy it didn't show very well. It appears I was wrong."

   Your laughter died down and you carefully wiped your tears from your eyes.

   "My love, I think your wonderful." You smiled at him. "You're an amazing man that made his daughters the happiest children in the world today. And for that, you are absolutely beautiful."

   Without moving Illumi simply closed his eyes and a smile of accomplishment and joy spread across his lips. You let him bask in the praise for a few more moments before you reached out and turned him face you. You sat him down on the vanity stool then set to work wiping off the frighteningly large amounts of makeup away with a removal wipe.

   "How did things go with your mother today?" Illumi asked. You paused in what you were doing a little to long, causing him to open his eyes. His large, obsidian orbs gazed into your smaller (e/c) ones. "That bad?"

   You sighed and continued what you were doing, "Yes, she refused to be nice once again. I probably won't even bother to contact her again until the babies are born."

   "That's right," Illumi remembered, a slight sound of excitement in his voice, "you had an appointment this morning before you were to meet your mother. How did that go? What did you find out?"

   Your mother's voice echoed through your mind. Her response to the news you gave her when you had first met for tea that afternoon.

   "Once he finds out those babies are males he's going to insist on training them the same way he was trained. Brutally, and without love or compassion. The traditional Zoldyck family way."

   She's wrong! you thought bitterly. But a shadow of worry made your stomach twist into a small knot.

 "(y/n)?"

   You blinked, you had stopped cleaning his face again while in thought. You weren't sure what expression you had on your own face at that moment, but you could see it was causing your husband to worry.

   Taking his hands into yours you brought them up and placed them on your round belly. A warm, loving smile graced your lips as you peered into his eyes.

   "My love, you will soon be the proud father of two sons."

   You nearly cried when you saw actual joy show on Illumi's face. He leaned forward and brought his head down, touching his forehead to your belly. You cupped the side of his face with one hand and gently began to stroke his head with the other.

   He was silent for a few minutes, living in the moment. Then Illumi shuddered a little as a multitude of feelings surged through him. Joy, fear, excitement, concern, love, anger. It was overwhelming to him.

   "My sons-" he choked on the emotional overload. "My sons, they will be the ones to break the cycle. They will not go through what I went through."

   A surge of relief washed through you causing tears of joy to form in your own eyes. You gently turned Illumi's head upwards to face you and was stunned to see there were actual tears in his eyes as well. Leaning down you planted a warm, loving kiss to his colored lips. Not giving a damn about the lipstick that was now smearing all over your own lips. You then touched your forehead to his and nuzzled your nose against his own.

   "I'm so proud of you, Illu," you spoke softly, "You've come so far. I love you so much, my husband."

 "My wife," he whisper back, his breath brushing your lips, "I couldn't have come this far without you. Thank you, (y/n), I love you, too.”

   You broke away slowly, peering down at your husband with so much love you didn't even know you could emit. His smile was still on his lips as he reached up and brushed his thumb across the smeared lipstick on your lips.

   "Yeah, you're still a mess," you laughed lightly. You grabbed a fresh wipe and set back to work. "Once I am done here you just need to give your face a quick wash. I'll start us a bath then help you take out all of the braids."

   "I would like that," Illumi replied, still smiling.

   By the time you have cleaned the majority of the makeup from his face most of his deadpan expression had returned. The only difference from the norm was that he still had a shine in his eyes and a small smile on his now clean lips.

   He quickly washed his face with special soaps then set to work untying the ribbons from his hair, carefully undoing the long braids. You started the bath. Holding your fingers under the running water from the bath faucet until it was the right temperature, then set the plug. You added yours and Illumi's favorite essential oils before going over to help him with the braids.

   You couldn't help but smile at how he was practically glowing. The two of you made quick work of the braids. You were amazed how not a single hair tangled even in the messiest of braids. Secretly, you believed your husband somehow used some of his nen to keep his hair from becoming tangled and knotted.

   Once Illumi's hair was free of braids and put up into a bun, the two of you stripped to nothing. Illumi climbed into the bath first and settled down without making even the slightest ripple in the water. He held out a hand for you to use for balance as you climbed in next. You settled between Illumi's legs and leaned back into him with a sigh of pure contentment.

   Leaning your head to the side and back onto his shoulder, you felt the warmth of the water seep into your muscles causing your body to relax completely against Illumi's body. Illumi moved his hands to rest on your belly and leaned his head against yours. The two of you relaxed in silence for a few minutes. Both lost in their own thoughts. For once, it was Illumi that broke the silence.

   "(y/n)?" You hummed a response. "Have you thought of names yet?"

   You chuckled, "Not yet, dear. Do you have some ideas?"

   Illumi went into a long list of names and the meanings behind each one. You would comment here and there but mostly just let him talk. It was so rare for him to talk this much voluntarily. And as he rambled on about names and what fun things he wanted to do with all his children, you couldn't help but smile.

   You were wrong, mother, you thought to yourself, My husband may be flawed to you, but he's absolutely perfect to me. And that's all that truly matters.

[julietnterein]

•| Violacea I. chp. 9 |•

I was sitting at the large sofa in the living room, enjoying the silence when all the others were somewhere else, doing their own business. I felt for the first time like I actually belonged there. A book was sitting in my lap, which Pietro bought me as he tought I mind need some catching up.

„Yo, yo, yo!” Yelled the Devil himself as he run through the long hallways for one second and the other was already sitting next to me on the sofa. „I've had an idea!”

I sight quietly, saying goodbye to the comfort of the silence and closed the book.

Pietro gaved me a proud smile, when I started giving him the attention he wanted. And then he pulled a lightbulb out of somewhere.

„Uhm… What is that?” I look at him, more than confused.

„You are gonna train with this.” He says, with a smile on his face.

„I don't think that's a good idea.” I shake my head a little.

„I trust you.” He hands me the light bulb.

„That's really nice, but it's not really me who you need to trust.” I tried to pull out from his plan. „My powers could blow the whole Tower up if they wanted to. And I already cost this place too much damage.” I tried to gave him the lightbulb back.

„Yea.” He nods. „And you will probably cost it even more, if you won't start to control them.” He chuckles as he hands me the lightbulb once again.

„I'm not even sure how my powers actually work, Pietro.”

„And that's why we are doing this. C'mon… Just this once, we can always stop.” He tries to put on some kind of puppy eyes that is more scary than cute.

„Fine, jesus.” i shake my hand and takes the lightbulb between my fingers.

„You should try to light it up.” He thinks out loud.

„Really? I thought I should smash it over your head. Thank you, Sherlock.” I look at him.

„Sorry, for trying to be a good mentor.” He snorts.

I look at the lightbulb and actually tries to focus on it, but all I can focus on is Pietro's face slowly tilting closer to my face. „What about some space?” I look at him, but before I say something else, he is already sitting at the other end of the sofa.

With a sight I look at the lightbulb, trying to light up or something, to make him at least a little happy. But all I can think of is that my powers always showed to the party when I was at some kind of emotional peak, but right I felt like I was the calmest person alive. Anyway these emotions were always really strong and how am I even bring up my powers without them?

I take in a deep breath and I close my eyes. I can hear the quiet humming of the lights above my head. Okay, I can try and take some power of these and run it through the lightbulb in my hand. I frown my eyebrow as I focus even more on the humming, when suddenly I hear the loud buzzing of the elevator, and then there is the noise and murmur of Tony's radio in his lab, two stories down. And the loud buzz powering the hairdryer in someone's room.

I take in a quick breath and open my eyes, alarmed what I just experienced.

„What?” Asks Pietro quickly.

„I just…”

„What is it?”

„I heard Tony's radio and-... and the hairdryer.” I point my finger behind the kitchen, where is the hallway that leads towards all the rooms.

Pietro stands up and quickly runs to the rooms and a second later he's back again. „Wanda is blowing out her hair.” He says surprised. „What else did you heard?”

„The elevator.”

„What? There is no sound of the elevator.” He shakes his head, disagreeing.

„I heard the electricity, powering it.” I found myself saying, clearing my own thoughts.

„Oh...my… god! That's really cool!” He yells out. „Much cooler than you lighting it up the lightbulb.” He says with excitment. „So you can use the electricity as a weapon, which you basically suck out, out of everything around you and now you can listen through it?! That's much cooler than me! How come I have the lamest power?„ He realizes and really looks offended.

„That's probably because I'm the oldest.” I stick out my tongue at him and stands up to head to my room, I have to hold myself steady at first, as I'm still not used to my new legs.

„The last month it was me who was the oldest.” He mumbles under his breath. „But you haven't lighten up the lightbulb yet.” A blue flash appears in front of my eyes as I found myself sitting at the sofa again.

I'm not even trying to fight him anymore as I take the lightbulb back between my fingers. I focus really hard, but not even after five minutes when is still nothing happening I want to give up.

„Maybe try to… get angry?”

I look at him, really annoyed, like I'm that good to get angry just because he wants me to. Well, what else could get me angry? There was plenty of it, but it all felt far away and blurred. The only think I can think of is Katherine. I look at all the moments we had together a lot, and I just pity myself and think how stupid I was not to see through her lies. And I really wish I blowed her up the night when I discovered her powers, I should have blown her through the window for her lying to me my whole life.

The lightbulb starts to flicker in my hand before it starts shining. I felt this weird warm feeling dancing on the tips of my fingertips.

„You could have light yourself a lightbulb back then as well, instead of blowing me up  through the glass-wall.” Says voice behind my back. And with that voice the lightbulb snaps into pieces under the supply of sudden energy that shaked my whole body and into the lightbulb in my fingers.

„Crap.” I swear out loud as the shatters fall into my lap.

I look around at Natasha, this is her first time being out of the hospital wing and our first encounter face to face since the accident. She can feel me starring so she just looks at me with one eyebrow up and then without another word and with a cast on her broken arm she leaves us to whatever we are going to be up to now.

„She still seemed pretty mad, what do you think?” I ask Pietro.

„Honestly no idea, sometimes I'm really scared to look her in the eyes.” He says quietly. „But I mean you broke her arm, I wouldn't be surprised if she was.” He shrugs and continues to act like my mentor again.

The very same afternoon, Tony almost festively, tells me that he decided to give me my own room at the same level like the rest of the Avengers and also access to almost the whole areas around the Tower, so I don't always need someone around to ask Friday for me to open the lab door or something.

So now I have pretty spacious room, with really good view and the bed here is enormous. I lay down on the bed and with my palms slides over the soft duvets. But before I even have time to get anymore comfortable in my room, there is knock on my door.

„Miss Maximoff is behind the door, does she have access to open the door?” Asks me Friday.

Whoa, I can tell who can go in my room and who cannot, that's definitely good way how to avoid Pietro sneaking into my room and pranking me out or something. I wouldn't be surprised if this thing was installed after someone pranking Tony out.

„Yea, of course. Access allowed, please let her in.”

Wanda stands behind the door with a cute pile of clothes folded in her hands. She hasn't talked to me since she was told we shared the same womb.

„Hey.” She says out finally. „I feel like we set it out on the wrong foot so-....”

„Yeah, you tried to slice my throat open with a scalpel.” I interrupts her.

„And I'm sorry.” She chokes out nervously. „I really am. That's why I wanted to do something nice so I brought you some close… I thought you might wanna get into something better than the old stuff Tony lent you. Those are mine, but I don't wear them that much and I thought you might like them better.” She smiles as she sets the pile slowly at my bed next to me.

„Oh...I...Thank you.” I give her same nervous smile.

„I'm really sorry. This has to be really weird and hard for you and I definitely did not make it easier for you with my behaviour,... I guess… I didn't thought I would get a new sibling right now.” She chuckles nervously.

„Yeah, you tell me.”

„I'm really sorry… About the scalpel and stuff… Well, I will give you some space to set yourself in your new room.” She steps back to the frame of the door.

„Wanda?”

„Hm?” She turns around.

„Thanks for the clothes.” I smile at her and she gives me one more smile as well.

„No problem.”

Chp. 10

TAG LIST:

@littlegasps @multi-images

[forestwater87]

(first apologies if this is a duplicate; I got a "bad request" notification the first time I tried to send this ask) but anyhow; I saw your tags on my Lucretia post and i am not sure how to reply to tags?? but i want to see your version of that scene! (if you still want to share) I love Lucretia very much and love to see other peoples' takes on her. anyway, I hope you are having a good day!

OH MY GOD YAY!! 

I mean, cool, whatever. I guess I could share a little bit of that fic. That’s fine.

(yayayayayayayay eeeeeeeeeee)

Okay, part of me wanted to blast you with the entire chapter, but that’s 25-ish pages so I’m forcing myself to show restraint here and only include the tail end. There’s a little bit of context missing, because it’s the last section of Chapter 10 of a fic that so far has at least 32 chapters, but I think it all makes sense. It’s basically just “here’s what happened in that cycle when everybody else was a statue person” and it was, you know, not a good time. (There’s some implied Magcretia, sorry not sorry.) 

Plus it’s really good. I know that sounds arrogant, but I’ve spent the last 4-5 years hating every word I’ve ever written, and I’m going to enjoy this confidence for as long as it chooses to stay.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy! 

There are no line breaks on tumblr anymore so this is the part where the actual writing starts:

When the Hunger arrived, it was a relief more than anything.

Lucretia had been in the middle of defending The Starblaster from a group of marauders climbing like ants all over the dented and hastily-repaired sides of the ship, trying to figure out if she could possibly shake them all free without having to resort to the magic she’d deduced made it possible for the court to find her, when the sky turned dark and everything went gray. 

And her first thought was, Oh thank Pan. (She wasn’t a religious person at all, but enough time with Merle had made the casual prayers second nature.) This nightmare was almost over. In less than an hour, she’d have her family back.

She was so close to seeing Magnus again.

“Fisher, get back in your tank!” she shouted, abandoning the shield she’d been summoning and sprinting to the helm — she’d spent so much time this year running for her life that she could race from one end of the ship to the other without becoming winded. None of the marauders had made it onto the deck, but she felt the air above her head crackle with a spell that blazed past, and as she reached the controls she heard the now-familiar amplified voice call, “You are under arrest for multiple counts of evading the authority of the co — what the hell’s going on here?”

Oh, great. All her friends were here. Now all she needed was for the boar and crocodile to make an appearance.

As the officer began to interrogate the marauders (his side of the conversation still blaring loud and clear), Lucretia took advantage of the confusion to throw the ship forward. She’d had enough foresight to keep the way in front of The Starblaster clear for just this purpose, and while a few hundred yards of ash-colored grass were flattened, she was able to get the ship into the air.

She pointed it up, away from the Hunger — up into space, into nothingness, into any universe except this one, somewhere she’d stared at and imagined but now was finally going into . . .

If she could get the damaged, shuddering ship up to speed and break through the atmosphere, that was.

If not, everything ended here.

A tentacle of swirling darkness stabbed into the ground inches away from her ship, forcing her to swerve hard and nearly lose her footing. She threw all her weight on the acceleration as more of the Hunger’s tentacles latched onto the planet, the labored roar of the engines nearly drowning out the screams of panic from the people below.

As The Starblaster rocketed over a shining city with strange statues and up into the sky, a whisper made Lucretia look around — before realizing it had come from inside her own head.

We’ve been looking for you.

She frowned, clutching at the helm even tighter. Was this some sort of new thing the Hunger could do, or one last awful trick played by this hostile planet?

Another whisper, louder and lower-pitched: You’ve been evading judgement for some time now.

A massive column of the Hunger collided with the planet directly in front of her. It was so close, she had no choice but to try and blow through it, even though that meant taking the biggest risk she had all year. But The Starblaster’s momentum was impossible to halt, and the mile-wide column was impossible to go around, so she gritted her teeth, hunched over the controls, and slammed on the accelerator.

The second she crossed into the Hunger, everything went silent and black.

Everything, that was, except for the whispers: 

Lucretia, you have always let others take action and responsibility while you sit back and watch. You tell yourself this is worthwhile, but you know it is a lie. And yet when it is smartest and safest to proceed with caution, you take the most reckless path, because you refuse to admit you might be wrong. Your past sins are sloth, envy, and pride. How do you plead?

How did she plead? She didn’t plead for much of anything, except to survive long enough to fly them into the next cycle. The Hunger buffeted at the ship, wrapping smaller tentacles around its sleek metal body and trying to keep it from plowing forward; it might kill her — kill them all — but not knowing what else to do, she used Mage Hand to open the nearest window without leaving the helm and cast Fire Shield around the ship. It was weak and flickering compared to the spells of protection Merle could create, but the Hunger fell back with deafening shrieks of pain as flames licked the air around The Starblaster. 

The awful whispers weren’t letting up, though, digging cold fingers deep into her mind and sending a chill shudder down through her very soul.

Your present sins are no less grave. You kill without remorse. You have allowed yourself to become vindictive and spiteful. You have not abandoned your past failings, but have added new ones since our initial audit. We see fit to add to your current list of transgressions the crime of wrath. How do you plead?

Suddenly there was a break in the shimmering darkness, a bolt of ash-gray sky widening like a tear in heavy fabric — and then she was through, outside of the Hunger and so far above the doomed planet that she couldn’t see the ground below. She let out a scream of triumph, the noise tearing like sandpaper along her exhausted and dry throat, and angled the ship until it was almost vertical. The Starblaster shot forward as though with one last burst of strength, shuddering as its engines were pushed to the absolute limit . . .

The ship suddenly jolted to a halt, mechanisms whirring like a swarm of angry bees.

Lucretia turned to the still-open window and saw the entire view had been replaced with blackness, oily-iridescent tentacles spilling into the ship as others wrapped around it. She threw all of her weight on the acceleration, but it didn’t move; then, after a single grinding moment, The Starblaster began to fly backward, pulled back toward the core of the Hunger. 

She could hear its gnashing teeth.

“NO!” The word exploded out of her, coming from somewhere far below conscious thought. She abandoned the helm just long enough to run to the window, ignoring the tentacles that curled around her ankles as she pointed her wand at the offshoot of the Hunger that had its hold on her, aiming for where the base met the rest of the massive column, and shot off a burst of lightning. There was another hideous wail and the tentacles around the ship shuddered and pulled away, just a slight loosening of their incredible grip.

Her entire body shaking with terror and fury, she pointed her wand at the same spot and cast Finger of Death. 

The screaming was like a sonic blast — a thousand million voices filled with rage and pain and fear — knocking her onto her back and sending her skidding across the bridge. She scrambled to her feet, stumbling over her robe and lurching to the helm. The sound of the engines returning to full blast was like the roar of a furious animal loosed from its cage, and the last of the Hunger fell back as the ship threw itself up into space. It felt like the air was shouting with every conceivable emotion.

As the panic subsided and her head cleared, she realized it wasn’t the air screaming; it was those whisperers.

So much rage. So much wrath.

No remorse.

No different than the monster she tries to flee.

They were growing louder with every word, overlapping and running together until she struggled to pick out individual phrases —

She betrays the people she supposedly loves most

She destroys a family — destroys the memory of the family

Robs them of themselves

Who has the right?

No one has the right

The sound was becoming unbearable, deafening. Her ears felt like they were leaking; she lifted her hand to one and her fingers came back covered in blood.

It didn’t make sense — it wasn’t an external sound — it wasn’t an external force, but something ripping her apart from within.

It was the sound of going mad. 

At that point she was barely able to understand anything 

leaves him to die in agony in a hell she helped create

takes advantage of the innocent who make the mistake of believing in her

such a sweet boy, and all you do is lie to him

do you think you can make these decisions for the world?

the heartbreak you will cause

the betrayal

pride — such unfathomable pride

the deaths you will cause

the lives you will ruin

the blood that stains your hands

coldhearted — cowardly

wrath — envy — sloth

pride

PRIDE

Our judgement is decided.

You have been found wanting.

Something hardened in her chest, calcifying her lungs and making it impossible to breathe. Lucretia doubled over, her hands scrabbling to keep the ship moving, as her flesh turned hard, brittle, the feeling like casting Stone Skin but somehow it’d gotten inside . . .

She couldn’t move her tongue. She couldn’t breathe. Blackness crowded the edge of her vision — not like she was blacking out, but like her eyes just suddenly weren’t there anymore

everything went wobbly, the universe becoming untethered just for a moment

And when it stabilized, she realized she could move again, see again. She took a deep, tremulous breath and turned back from the helm, sliding to the floor in a heap.

It was less than a second, before the I.P.R.E. crew fully materialized, but she didn’t see it happen. As soon as the surreal, smoky outlines of her friends wavered into being, she dropped her head in her hands, a sob she’d been holding back for months finally escaping her throat.

She did it.

Magnus’s hands closed around her upper arms and he gently tugged her into an embrace. She could feel the cool steel of the bridge under her knees, heard the voices of all her friends speaking all at once. She was dimly aware she was talking, mumbling nonsense to herself as she waited for the world to stop spinning.

The last thing she was aware of before slipping into unconsciousness was Magnus’s breath on her forehead and his warm fingers combing through her hair.

[writersrealmbts]

A Natural: Part 5

Description: Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader: You’re a single mom, and your son is your entire world. When you take him to get his first hybrid, his choice is pretty bewildering, until you realize that he was picking out a dad.

Posted: 05/24/2020

Tags: Taehyung, Hybrid Taehyung, Human Reader

Wordcount: 1,906

A/N: Oh look, another series that was never supposed to be a series. And I had to pick a new series gif because it wouldn’t show up. 

Taehyung woke you up gently, pressing kisses to your cheeks, nose and forehead.

You sighed and stretched. “Mmm, what time is it?”

“Seven,” He whispered, tilting your chin slightly so he could kiss your lips. “You said you wanted to get there early.”

You nodded. “It’s his first day of physical therapy. He was scared. Jin send any updates?”

“Haven’t checked. You okay?” He asked, feeling your forehead.

“Just tired. Always tired. I wish there was a miracle cure that I could give him. Or that I could take his pain and he could continue to be my rambunctious baby.” You buried your face in his shoulder, sighing in frustration.

The past three weeks had been exhausting. You couldn’t recall a single night where you felt like you went to bed with some scrap of mental, emotional, or physical strength. They had woken Theo up about a week and a half after he was admitted, and he had taken it well since he was still so groggy. But you hardly left his side for the first three days. The only reason you left on the fourth was because of work. You had to pay for the medical bills somehow. Now they were thinking he was healed enough to start some very minor physical therapy. He didn’t have feeling from about mid-shin down, but his brain had healed well. The doctors didn’t think there was any lasting damage now. He got the casts off of his legs and his collarbone was healed, so they were really happy with how he was recovering so far.

Taehyung spent most of his days at the hospital, and Jin and Jimin alternated nights to help you two out.

Yoongi bought you lunch most days, and visited Theo on the weekends. Bringing movies to binge and board games to play.

Theo always perked up when Yoongi got there on Saturday morning.

Namjoon brought Hoseok whenever the two didn’t have too much work, and he would bring in music stuff—instruments or tracks—to entertain Theo.

Theo loved Namjoon’s music visits, just as he loved music class the most.

Hoseok still had to catch up on some grading, and recovering his class from a week with a substitute teacher on top of his own bit of physical therapy for his leg injury. He still obviously felt guilty, but he also helped Theo learn things he was missing in class. He had told you that the kids would ask after Theo, and they even sent in get-well-soon cards.

Theo kept saying he couldn’t wait to go back to school.

Jimin drew cartoons on Theo’s casts before they were removed and Theo loved them so much that he insisted Jimin teach him how to draw, and now there were drawings everywhere.

Taehyung kissed your collarbone. “Hey, you okay?”

“Just…waking up.” You curled into him.

He chuckled sleepily. “No, you’re not.”

“Are you telling me that you’re awake?”

He gave a sleepy sounding hum. “Not really, but I know we need to get up.”

You nodded, yawning into his chest and then rolling away from him and getting up in one movement.

“Hey, Jimin texted me to call him,” Taehyung said, frowning at his phone.

You sighed. “It probably has something to do with his parents. You better call him.”

He made an almost growling sound at the mention of Jimin’s parents—who had been a continual pain in the ass through this whole process—but he calls Jimin.

You don’t pay attention much while he talks to Jimin, getting ready for the day, and only noticing that something was wrong when Taehyung growls again.

He’s pacing along his side of the bed, not saying anything but there’s a steady growl in his throat. “He starts his therapy today!”

You flinch when he scoffs, and worry fills you at the frown creasing his forehead.

“What am I supposed to tell Y/n, Jiminie?!”

“I’d suggest the truth if you want everyone to live,” You said, eyes narrowed.

He looked up and gulped. “Can I make him explain it?”

You were already in front of him, taking the phone. “What’s going on?”

“My parents…they caused a scene here and the doctors decided to reschedule his physical therapy…since my parents ordered a DNA test.” Jimin sounded apologetic.

“What do they expect to get from a DNA test?” You asked, feeling bile rise in your throat.

“I don’t know, but I’m on top of it, they won’t make a move I don’t know about. I’ll stay with him all day, okay?”

“Jimin, why did they order a DNA test?”

He was quiet, and you heard him huff out a breath. “Because they want to see if he’s actually who we claim and maybe add him to their will if he is,” He said, sounding frustrated.

“Which means they’d try to take him away from me?”

“Possibly. If you didn’t want to comply with their standards.”

“Which I won’t.” You glared at the wall. “Your family sucks.”

“I know. It’s probably better if you stay away, though, that’ll delay things because they need your permission to do the DNA testing.”

You froze. “But—”

“I’ll keep her away,” Tae said, loud enough to be heard, and taking the phone. “Call us if Theo needs her.”

You stared in disbelief as he said goodbye to Jimin and then hung up.

He looked back at you. “It’s for the best, anyway. You’re exhausted.”

“I can’t sleep, not now,” You argued.

“There’s more than just physical exhaustion,” He rebutted, then leaned in and kissed you. “He’s safe with friends. Yoongi will be there later today, with Namjoon and Jimin, just like they planned and they’ll play games with Theo.”

“I barely ever there—”

“You practically live there,” He cut you off with a whine. “Please, I know you’re tired. I know. It’s been a really hard month. But Theo’s being looked after really well. All of the nurses adore him because he’s so sweet and polite. It’s time to take care of yourself.”

You tilted your head, at a loss for words.

He stepped closer, and arms wrapping around your waist after he tossed the phone onto the bed. His lips met yours softly. “It’s time to forget you’re a mom for a few minutes. Just…be you. Be who you were before you were a mom.”

“I don’t know who that is,” You whispered.

“Then just be the person you are with me,” He whispered back, voice low and deep.

You sighed and surrendered to him, allowing him to pull you into a series of lingering kisses.

“Dress up a bit, lets go out.” He murmured, tail swooshing behind him. “Or, well…let’s go for a picnic.”

You stepped back slightly, uncertain.

“Please, Y/n. We both need to let go for a while.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek.

And you gave in, nodding. “Okay, but…I don’t know…I don’t want to deal with other people.”

“Then we’ll have a picnic in the backyard. You get ready, and I’ll go get things set up and then if you could make us sandwiches?”

You nodded.

“Then we’ll have a nice little date,” He said, grinning at you as his fingers brushed your cheek. Then his shoulders scrunched happily with his face and he practically skipped out of the room. “Remember, wear pretty clothes!”

“O-okay…” You called back, then frowned at your closet door. “I don’t know if I have anything?”

You went into your closet, looking for something pretty that was also middling between casual and Easter Sunday high teas that you used to go to at your grandmother’s senior home while she was alive.

Instead you found frustration and work clothes. Some clothes you might wear to parent-teacher conferences, or to one of the school events.

But the only date-like thing you found in your closet was from before Theo was conceived and you weren’t about to try that on. You knew how your body had changed since then and didn’t need the reminder from your closet. You’d sort of squeezed into it the last time you’d worn it anyway, and you had more hip now.

Sure, you probably had more clothes in that box, but you knew most of the clothes in ther

Taehyung came back when you had been in there for too long. “What’s wrong?”

“No clothes,” You muttered. “Nothing to wear.”

He tilted his head, then came over to look through your clothes. He pulled out a sweater and a skirt, handing them to you. “It’s a little cold outside, so maybe leggings?”

You looked over the outfit and then at him, surprised. “Um…yeah…okay.”

He nodded and walked out. “I’ll make sandwiches!”

You heard your bedroom door close, and started changing. You were surprised at how well he managed to find an outfit for you, but then again, he dressed so well himself, even on a minimal budget.

And it was a nice, casual date outfit.

You did your hair a little, and your makeup a little more. Actually put on earrings and a necklace.

Taehyung was plating sandwiches, making things look nice.

You looked outside in surprise. “It’s raining?”

He looked out as well. “Yeah. It just started. But we can still have a picnic. It’ll just have to be a living room picnic. I already cleared the space and….” He trailed off when he looked at you. His expression softened and he smiled. “Wow, y/n. You look so beautiful.”

You could have blushed, and you might have blushed from the way he was looking at you. “It’s been a while.”

“You always look beautiful,” He added, sincerity in all of his features and gestures. He took your hands in his, tail slowly swishing. “Thank you for agreeing to do this with me.”

You nodded, looking at the ground, unable to meet his gaze.

“Ooh, can I put a fire in the fireplace?”

You nodded again, stealing glanced at him as he excitedly went to turn on the gas fireplace.

Then he dimmed the lights some, and finished arranging blankets and pillows.

“Alright, I think that covers it, sorry we’re only having sandwiches.”

“I can live with sandwiches,” You replied softly, letting him lead you over to sit in the picnic area. You got comfortable while he hurried back to get the plate of sandwiches. You didn’t know your living room could feel so romantic.

He brought over the food and drinks on the bed-tray, setting it down. “It’s just grape juice, but I thought the glasses made it feel more romantic.”

You smiled. “Does. I didn’t even know the living room could look like this.”

He grinned. “We should make it look like this more often.”

You laughed a little.

He kept your laughing a little as the two of you ate, telling you stories and drawing stories of your family out.

You moved the tray and sat beside him, leaning on his shoulder.

He was still for a moment before relaxing into it. He kissed your forehead, then kept telling you about a movie he had seen.

You stared into the fire, listening to his voice. It was so soothing, so wonderfully perfect.

His lips met yours softly, then parted to lightly brush your cheeks. “I love you, y/n.”

You sighed happily, eyes staying shut. “I love you, Taehyung.”

Previous.  Next.

Taehyung Masterpost.  Masterlist.  

Taglist (must comment on taglist to be tagged from now on)

Tagging: @rosita7703, @ephemeral-mindset @forvever-ddaeng  @ncttzuuy @givebuckysomelove @alex--awesome--22  @missmoxxiesworld  @bryvada @knjhe  @i-dont-even-know-fck @young-yellkie @veryuniquenamegoeshere @lottohsehunnie​ @briramirezalipio​ 

Unable to tag: @bunnyboyenthusiast (think you changed to @kthstrawberryshortcake​ please let me know if I’m wrong or right because I have you listed for multiple stories)

[farahs-babe]

Always, I’ll Care

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles

Pairing: Ava du Mortain x Detective (Elijah Robinson)

Word Count: 1675 words

Warning: None, its just fluff 

Author’s note: So this is my first time writing for TWC fandom and gosh I’m nervous lol. Here is to hoping it shows up in the tags🤞 I hope y’all like it ❤

Title Inspiration: Always, I’ll Care by Jeremy Zucker

Ava sat in the empty common room, the night shrouding around her like a cloak.

A lone night lamp was turned on in the corner of the room, which cast against the sharp and rigid lines of her body accentuating the tense muscles and the constant flexing of her arm as she clenched and unclenched her fingers around the pen in her hand.

The others had shortly retreated to their room after the detective had bid good night. She could hear their steady breaths and that helped a bit with the growing anxiety which gnawed away at her slowly and steadily, like rust eating away at iron.

After 900 years of existence, you would think that nothing could bother Ava so much it made her stay awake into the wee hours but... It might be because of a certain blue-eyed detective.

Whenever Elijah's name crossed her mind, a flux of emotions would swirl through her. Initially, it would be an intense sense of longing which tugged at her heartstrings, followed by worry for his safety and concluded by a snort of annoyance on how easily she lets him invade his thoughts.

The entire ordeal with the pack of werewolves and the new revelation of the bounty had Ava so stressed that she had dug tracks into the common room carpet as she walked in circles before finally settling into a chair.

And Elijah being the- how could she place it delicately- the joker that he is, played it off in his usual sarcasm and jest.

But she could see.

She could see everything.

The rising panic in those soft brown eyes with a swirling green... The way his fingers threaded through his ebony black curls and tugging them, a gesture he did when he was nervous... The way he rocked on his heels... Everything.

She knows how capable he is and how determined he is, like Agent Robinson but that's the very thing that could get him killed. And the very thought of living in a world where he didn't exist...

He is more capable than you give him credit for. Mason's smoky voice from earlier, floods through her head which has her sighing.

She couldn't get herself to finish that sentence.

She leaned back on her chair and her hands went to rest behind her head, clutching her tight bun. The action caused a few strands to escape the restraints of the hairband and frame her face.

She looked out of the window to stare into the inky darkness. The sky was clear and you could see the numerous stars glittering over the treeline. Wayhaven looked so peaceful at night that you would be lulled into a sense of security. 

But everyone knows, monsters come out at night.

She let out a sigh trying to relax but her muscles bunched up in tension as she heard a familiar heartbeat and the familiar set of footsteps to the common room.

The door opened slowly and the man who had enraptured her, popped in.

"Hey, isn't it late for you?" His voice rasped, which caused the hairs on the back of her neck to rise in reaction.

She cleared her throat and sat straight up. "Well, I should be asking you that question. What are you doing up at 4 am?"

He chuckled. "Fair enough. I was having trouble sleeping. Can't get my mind to calm down."

"I can relate to that."

He leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. She could see his naked torso in the golden hue of the lamp and that made her gulp. He was not as built as Ava but he had a lithe and athletic build. The early morning runs which he goes for definitely benefit the detective. 

With a huge effort, she got her emerald eyes to meet his hazel ones.

"I know that you are a vampire with amazing strength but you seriously need to sleep."

A smile played on his lips as he ignored the jibe. He walked up to the table and leaned against it. She notices the closeness and she noticed how his heart thundered against his chest. 

"We don't need sleep to function, unlike you humans."

"C'mon Ava. Nat herself told me you haven't rested in a week. And I know the entire bounty thing is bothering you more than you admit to."

Guess I'm not the only one who can see everything.

She looked down at her pale hands resting on the wooden table. "It shouldn't have come to this. I was supposed to protect your identity- I am sorry I couldn't-"

His hand cupped her chin, gently bending her head backwards so that he could look down at her.

"I have said this before and I will say it again. It was not your fault. You don't have to be apologetic."

"Bu-"

"Shh…" He placed a finger on her lips and she could feel electric sparks and a steady blush rising to her cheeks. His fingers traced her cheek and continued, captivated by the feeling of Ava’s smooth skin. 

Thank the gods he is human and can't see in the dark.

“It was too big an information to be kept under the wraps and it was bound to be out at some time. All we can do not is do damage control.”

She nodded her head. “Yes. That is the approach we are taking.”

His hand dropped and the loss of contact pricked her heart. "Enough work talk. Come with me."

Her eyebrows knotted. "Pardon me?"

"Come with me. I know what can help you relax."

Uncertainty coloured her features but curiosity won the best of her. She stood up and followed him.

He opened the door to Ava's room and gestured her to go in first before following her in.

"So what is your genius plan Detective?" She asked, sarcasm lacing her sentence.

Elijah wordlessly sat at the edge of the bed and pointed at the space on the floor before him.

Ava cocked an eyebrow and Elijah sighed. "I am just going to give you a massage. The knots in your neck is giving me knots. You need to relax and that will help you sleep."

She stood hesitantly by the door, her instincts begging her to just turn and march out but the genuine look in those starry eyes made her want to stay.

"Ava, do you trust me?"

With my heart and life.

Ava nodded and sat down on the ground, in the space between his legs, facing the wall opposite her bed. She proceeded to take out the combat shoes she was wearing as Elijah got comfortable on the bed behind her.

"May I?" He asked as his hands reached for the tight bun.

"Yes."

Slowly untied her hair and the golden locks cascaded down, stopping a little below her shoulders. She let out a sigh of relief as she felt his fingers combing through her hair, freeing the tangled hair. He was so gentle and Ava couldn’t help but gulp at the intimacy, something she wasn’t familiar with.

She was so lost with the feeling of his fingers threading through her hair that she almost didn’t hear him. 

"Tina says that if you tie your hair so tight and keep stressing it, your hairline will recede and you will lose hair. It also gives a nasty headache."

"Well, I'm a vampire so I don't think that affects me."

Elijah hummed in agreeance as he pressed his fingertips into her scalp and massaged. Ava let out another breathy sigh, feeling her face heat up, her pulse race and goosebumps on her overly sensitive skin.

"I know the others don't apply to you but, I can literally feel your head pounding."

Well, it's for other reasons. Her subconscious snarked which had her mind overthinking again. And the closeness between the two had her senses on overdrive which didn’t help her cause.

"Ava, I can hear the gears in your head-turning... Relax. Focus on my hands." He chastised as his thumbs circled her temples, applying just the right amount on pressure. 

It took all her strength to not melt into a puddle before him.

The way I'm putty in his hand is frightening... But at the same time, it feels like home.

He proceeded to thoroughly knead through the taut muscles of her neck, his magical fingers releasing the knots of tension. 

These tender gestures took her back to the way her mother would run a comb through her hair before bedtime. Or how she would help Ava out when she returned from war.

"What are you thinking?" He asked softly, not wanting to break the peace.

"It's just... It's been a long while since someone has done something like this for me."

She didn't need to turn around to see the Cheshire grin on his face. The way his white teeth would contrast his dark skin. The way his eyes would ignite, a captivating mix of brown and green... As if moss were creeping on the rich soil.

"Well, I'm glad I could help you relive the experience."

She turned around and looked up at him, her eyes memorising his face and every minute detail. The freckles dusted on his nose, the curly hair falling against his forehead, the light stubble and his full lips. 

"Thank you, Eli. I really appreciate it."

He squeezed her shoulder and gave her a gentle smile, something he only showed her. He reached to tuck a rebel strand behind her ear. "It was my pleasure, Ava. Get some rest, okay? Supernaturals don't take it easy on you just because you are tired."

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you mocking me?"

Elijah took a faux gasp. "I would never dare to."

Her lips tilted up in a half-smile before rearranging back into an impassive mask.

"Good night Detective. See you bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Good night." He said as he stood up and walked out of the room, leaving Ava in a haze of rushing emotions, untethered thoughts and the regret of not asking him to stay back with her.

I hope you liked it and thank you for reading❤ 

Like, comment, reblog and let me know what you think ❤

Tagging: @lilyoffandoms ; @agentrebecca ; @anotherbeingsworld ; @oshen​ ; @nathanielhsewell​ ; @starrystarrytrouble​

[crazywritingbug]

Dreamers (Part Fourteen)

Soulmate AU

Raphael x Fem!Reader

A/N

So I tend to dislike long authors notes, but I feel I owe you all an apology. By starting this story, I promised a continuation and an ending, but I have been terrible with posting constantly--It’s been two months. I can offer as many excuses as I want, first year college student, two jobs, other projects, yadda yadda... the list goes on. But that doesn’t change the fact that I have a promise to keep and haven’t been doing a good job. So I am sorry and I hope you all can forgive me.

The lair was in chaos when Y/N came back. Splinter was scowling as Leo and Raph argued, raised voices bringing her into a halt in the entryway. This was not a good thing to be happening right before going to meet with Stockman. What had caused it in the first place? She’d seen how these two bickered, this was not that. This was a fight.

“Hey Y/N,” Donnie approached her, his voice lowered and eyes worried. “I don’t think now is a good time for you to be here…”

“What happened?” She gestured to the opponents and a dejected Mikey.

“It’s a long story…” Donnie shifted, almost uncertainly.

“You should have seen the way they looked at us…” Mikey spoke up, “There wasn’t just fear...there was actual hate.” Even from this distance, she could see the tears in his eyes that had even Raph and Leo falling silent. Whatever had happened, it had caused a hurt that none of these heroes deserved.

Her feet moved before her mind did, closing the distance between her and Mikey to pull him into a hug. He clung to her as if she was a life raft in a storm, shaking with the silent tears she could feel soaking her shirt. Looking up over his head as he hid his face in her shoulder, Y/N leveled a sharp look at Leo and Raph. At least both had the decency to look ashamed.

“What happened?” She asked again.

“Raph and Mikey broke into the police station to try to get the mutagen,” Leo cast a cold glare at Raph. “They roped Casey and April into it, in process getting them arrested and revealing us to the entire New York police force.” Y/N felt Mikey’s grip tighten slightly and the puzzle pieces fell into place. That was why Mikey had said they’d looked at him with hate. What was she supposed to say to this? How was she supposed to fix this?

“I’m sorry…” She whispered, mostly to Mikey.

“Sorry that you have an idiot for a soulmate?” Leo asked, and she tensed. How dare he-

“We need to move out.” Leo kept talking. “You have an appointment with Stockman.” No, there was no way that she was going to let him just walk away like that. He did not get to talk about Raphael like that. Ever.

“Leonardo.” She snarled it with the same venomous rage that was flowing through her veins. “Apologize to Raphael.”

He froze, looking at her as if she had lost her mind.

“Apologize to Raphael.” Y/N repeated herself. “You may be his brother but you. Will. Not. Talk. About. Him. Like. That.” Mikey pulled away and she stepped towards Leonardo. Her whole body shook with anger. He would not speak to her soulmate like that and get away with it. 

Leo towered over her, stepping close enough that she had to tilt her head back to look him in the eye. So this was his game? Intimidation? Did he really think she would buckle under it?

“Y/N,” Ralph’s voice was a soft warning.“Be careful.”

“What makes you think you can tell me what to do?” Leo countered and Y/N felt herself begin to bend. He had a point. What was she doing stepping out of line like this? She had hardly known them all for a week. Why did she think she had a right to stand up to Leo like that? He was the leader, he knew what he was doing...right?

“Y/N.” Splinter’s voices cracked through the air like a whip and she took a step back to look at the Sensei. His gaze bore into her like a drill and she dropped her own. 

“Your protectiveness and tenderness towards Raphael is touching,” Splinter’s words held a soft scolding. “But now you are late for the meeting with Stockman.” As if his words had summoned it, her phone began to buzz. It was Sarah.

“I stick my neck out for you and risk my job and you don’t show up!” Sarah yelled it, her voice sounding out for all to hear as she wailed, “Y/N how could you?” 

Y/N cringed, “Sarah-“ 

“Don’t you dare tell me you changed your mind!” Sarah stopped her short, “That you actually want that...that... that beast for a soulmate!” 

Y/N couldn’t stop her gaze from jumping to Raph, to the swirling storm of emotions in his eyes. She could lie to Sarah, and he would know it was a lie, but that wouldn’t stop the hurt. She could tell the truth and risk losing their chance at Stockman… Was hurting Raph really worth the advantage?

Y/N hung up on Sarah before her “friend” could do any more damage.

“What did you do that for?” Mikey asked softly.

Y/N shrugged. “I’d rather lose a chance at Stockman than lose any of you.” She attempted a smile. “Even you, Leo.”

“Well…” He paused, looking more than a little uncomfortable. Huh, so that was what it took to catch him off guard. “We, uh...we still need to come up with a plan…Donnie, how’s that tracking going?”

Donnie led Leo away, chattering about isotopes and geographic location. With a sigh she tried to conceal, Y/N turned away only to find Raph giving her a look she didn’t know how to read, his head tilted ever so slightly with a storm swirling in his gaze.

“What?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Nothing.” Was the only response he gave her.

***

Raph couldn’t quite catch his breath as he watched Y/N go toe to toe with Leo- for him. Even Raph had almost withered under the look she’d leveled at his brother. Was that why she was his soulmate? Because she was as sweet as sugar but had a fire burning in her? And why was it making him so poetic?

He glanced out of the kitchen at the sound of her laugh. Why did seeing her play Mario Kart with Mikey seem so right? Why did everything about this seem so right when it was so wrong?

Raph tightened his grip on the bowl of cereal. Of all the times to finally find someone to love it had to be in the midst of this chaos. What was he thinking? He needed to keep her out of this, keep her safe. It was a miracle that she’d missed the meeting with Stockman, now he needed to put distance between her and this mess.

But how?

The questions still rang through his head as he saw her home that evening, dropping smoothly onto the fire escape outside her window, trying to deny that he was showing off. 

“Ya gonna be okay tiny?” He asked as he set her down, instantly missing the feeling of her in his arms. It was soothed by the smile she gave him.

“I’ll be fine,” Y/N almost laughed it but it quickly faded as she looked up at him. “Are you sure you’re going to be alright? I know today probably wasn’t the best day…” 

The looks of the police force and the whispers of “monster” filtered through his mind down to his heart where they squeezed it tight.

He shrugged,“It’s fine. It’s nothing I didn’t expect.” It wasn’t fine, if anything it hurt to be rejected by the very people they did their best to help and protect. 

“I know it’s not fine Raph,” Her voice was soft as she reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. That...that was new. Not a bad new but new. She looked up at him with the softest gaze. “I can see it in your eyes, but if you’re not ready to talk about it, that’s okay.” He chuckles softly, fighting the urge to lean into her touch -and failing terribly. All those years of stuffing away his emotions to try to be strong for his brothers, to show Leo he could handle things just fine and support Mikey and Donnie, it was freeing just knowing that somebody could read him and didn’t judge him for it or try to correct it. Somebody who saw and…just let it be.

He wanted so bad to kiss her, standing here toe to toe on a cool evening. There couldn’t be anything wrong with that...right? He pushed a piece of hair away from her face, loving how the moonlight fell over her skin, loving her.

Before his mind could overcome his heart, he was bending down, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her closer. He was taking a risk, that much his mind was able to get through. Maybe though...this was a risk worth taking, especially considering how she popped up on her tiptoes, gently pulling him down by the ties of his bandanna. Everything about the kiss was gentle and soft. The way her hands slid over his skin, tracing a path over his face, down his neck and shoulders, her lips dancing in time with his. His arms wrapping around her, holding her close enough to feel her heart racing in time with his. It was perfect. Some part of him noted it was his first kiss, another prayed it wouldn’t be his last.

“Raph…”Y/N murmured it in a way that was almost musical as she pulled away slightly. “I need to go…” It was true, sadly, but he didn’t want her to go.

“Okay…” He whispered but didn’t loosen his grip on her. “Okay...just…”

“Just what?” She looked up at him with a searching gaze and he wasn’t sure what to say anymore.

Just stay safe? Just be careful? Just stay away from Sarah? From TCRI? Just stay inside?

Just know that he loved her?

No, it wasn’t time yet.

“Just be safe…” He settled on that one, letting her go.

“I will.” There was a new light in her eyes as she smiled up at him, almost a reflection of everything he was feeling. “You stay safe too okay? It’s not just the city that needs you…” She slipped through the window with that statement, becoming a shadowy figure in the dark room. 

Not just the city…Raph puzzled over that as he climbed up the fire escape to the roof. Did she mean that she needed him? He couldn’t help but smile at the idea, and at the lingering taste of vanilla on his lips. 

He didn’t hear her muffled scream.

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[i-write-sometimes-blog]

There for you (Rey x Reader High School AU)

Request: The reader gets injured in a car crash and their leg needs to heal but they get impatient because of how long it will take + scared that Rey might leave them because their is a chance of permanent damage? Rey assures the reader that they aren't going anywhere. Requested by @ajaxthecharizard

Words: 1,760

A/N: angst, angst everywhere! It was fun to write this little thing. Sorry for the delay but I really hope you enjoy it! Thanks for requesting!💕💕

“How is she?” panting Rey asked as soon as she entered to the waiting room. Her heart had almost stop when she got the call that informed her you were in the hospital. Millions of thoughts swirled inside her head of the million things that could had happened to you as a lump formed in her throat. Was the panic what made her race to the hospital.

“Hey! Easy there, Rey.” Han stopped her gently placing a hand over her shoulder. She looked up to meet your father’s eyes.

“Is she okay?” Rey mumbled.

“We’re waiting for the doctor to tell us how she is.” Leia said sitting on the small couch in the waiting room. “Come here.” She said and Rey rushed to her side already wrapping her arms around your mother, that had clearly been crying. “How did you find out about this?”

“I called her.” Ben said and only then Rey realized he was leaning in the wall nearby, serious but with the same worriedness in his eyes as his mother.

The small group waited patiently in the quiet small room until eventually a woman in white coat appeared in the doorway, with your medical record in her hands that asked for your family.

"She was lucky, the crash could have easily killed her but she's fine, just a few scratches and the leg" the doctor explained.

"What happened to her leg?" Leia asked concerned. The doctor sighed.

"Displaced fracture, we realigned her bone and immobilized it. However, the nerves close got damaged, there is a possibility of loss of movement."

The room went quiet for a moment, all of them processing the information they just received.

“Can we see her?” Rey urged to ask after the explanation. It calmed her down a little to know you were fine aside from the injured leg, but she was still concerned about you, she needed to see you, she had to.

******

When the door opened you didn’t expect to see her face, she was supposed to be in class this afternoon and yet she was here, running to your side with tears pooling in her eyes.

“Rey” you murmured with half a smile, it was so great to see your girlfriend, but as much as you tried you couldn't hide the pain that came with the smallest move. “Hi”

“Hi” Rey chuckled between sobs while she sofly ran her thumb over the small cut on your forehead. She noticed a few cuts more, from the glass of the windows she supposed, as well as couple bruises along your arms, her gaze kept scanning your body until it met the plaster cast on your left leg. It broke her heart to see you this way.

“You’re here.” you told her.

“I came as soon as I found out what happened.” she murmured taking your hand. “I was so worried, Y/N. I thought I lost you” Rey said, her last words faded away in the air as she was afraid of even say them.

“It was an accident, the car came out of nowhere.” you explained “because trust me, I know how to drive, I learned from the best.” you said trying to make her smile, you didn’t like to see Rey cry, specially if those tears were for you. And she did give you a tiny smile, she was the one who taught you to drive.

“I wish I would have been there for you.” she said “I should have been here-” you saw the single tear that rolled down her cheek.

“This is not your fault, love” you cut her off “You’re here now, aren’t you? That’s more than I could ask.” She looked at you with tenderness in her eyes as well as some pain. You kept like this until you heard a familiar voice getting closer.

“How are you feeling?” Ben asked as soon as he was next to you, on the other side of the stretcher. He looked worried, just as everybody else in your family, maybe a little more, you were his little sister after all.

“If I say ‘fine’ would you believe me?” you told him.

“Absolutely not.” he said leaning in to wrap his arms around you half sitting on the stretcher. His hug was tight and warm, meaningful.

Ben rarely expressed his emotions out loud, he was still working on it, but he was so concerned to hide and he stayed like that for a while, afraid to let go.

“You really scared the shit out of me, kid.” he finally said giving you some space. "Who am I going to bother if something else happened to you?" He said trying to cheer you up winning a small giggle from you. "I'm glad you're okay, little rebel." He said resting his hand over your shoulder.

From the corner of your eyes you caught your parents getting closer, worried of course, but glad you were alive, hoping you would recover soon.

********

The recovery took time, much longer than you would have liked, countless days that became months made you nearly lose your mind.

“You can do it, one foot in front of the other.” Rey assured you staying close to you with every new step you took, your hands barely holding the wooden bar on the recovery room, your stepfoots echoing through the room filled with differents therapeutic devices.

An enthusiastic smile curved your lips when you took a couple steps by your own, it was unbelievably for you the fact that after a long time being unable to walk without some sort of help you were doing it right now. Chuckling you took a few more steps, excited with your progress you decided to accelerate a little.

“Take it easy, babe.” your girlfriend chuckled amazed but still worried about you. “Slow down.” But you ignored her words.

You took a new step, and another, two more… and fell.

“Y/N!” Rey said rushing to your side, her heartbeat running fast. She tried to help you get up but you declined her help.

“Don’t!” you growled. All the excitement you had felt seconds ago vanished the moment you hit the cold floors and got replaced by a growing frustration that soon formed a lump in your throat. You stayed like that for a moment, trying your best to push down all the frustration and insecurities inside you.

You felt useless.

The past months you spent the days being treated like a complete child, you were not able to do a single thing without someone else's help, everybody tried always to be gentle with you, pitying you for being injured. You hated it.

You felt Rey’s confused gaze on you.

“Sorry.” you mumbled searching for her hazel eyes, while you moved to lean your back on the wall and extended your fragile leg.

“It's okay, love.” Rey murmured sitting next to you on the floor.

“No, it's not.” you said “I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

Rey placed her hand over your extended leg, caressing it gently as her eyes met yours. You sighed.

“I’m sorry, Rey.” you told her “It’s just… this whole process of healing is taking too damn long.”

“You had a big injury, Y/N.” she added “You have to give it all the time it needs to heal. I know it sounds like a lot but you’ll get better soon.”

“But how long is it gonna take? What if it takes forever?... what if it never really heals?” the frustration and impatience in you talked for you, though it was truth, there was a possibility of permanent damage. “And if it never heals then I’ll be just a burden for my family, for you Rey.”

The brunette listened carefully to your words, aware of how frustrating you felt and how much your life had changed after the accident.

“You shouldn’t even be here, Rey” you said with a bittersweet chuckle, refusing to meet her eyes “You should be in Ahch-to studying, Luke found you an amazing scholarship you should be using it and not here losing your time with me.”

The lump in your throat grew bigger as you prepared to tell her about the constant fear of losing her.

“Sometimes,” you gulped “I think it’d be better for you to go. You’d be better off without me as a burden.” your voice cracked in the end of the sentence.

“Hey,” Rey rushed to softly tilt your face founding tears pooling in your eyes. “don’t say that. You’re not a burden in any way, please don’t dare to call yourself that. I’m right where I have to be, Y/N, by your side.” she said “And I am not going anywhere.” Rey assured you.

“But this is going to take so long-”

“It would take all the time it needs to heal and if it means forever than I will be here forever by your side.” She said. She reached to take your hand in hers, guiding it to her lips and pressing a soft kiss in the ring she gave you a long time ago. “I made you a promise and trying to keep it, this doesn’t change anything. I love you more than anything in this life, Y/N.”

The tears in your eyes rolled down your face as you held Rey close to you, hiding your face in the curve of her neck you let all the feelings wash over you with Rey’s arms around you holding you safe into her embrace. You asked yourself what could you possibly had done to deserve a girl like Rey, that loved you with all her soul, that cared so deeply and so truly for you. That stayed by your side even in this rough times. You couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend.

"So, ready to try again?" She murmured once you were all calmed down. Resting your head on her shoulder you chuckled.

"Yeah, I think I can try again." You said.

"Then let's go" Rey said standing up from the cold floor and immediately turning to help you get up, this time you did take her hand.

"Thanks" you giggled back on your feet leaning in to press a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you, Rey."

Then you got back to your recovery routine, happy to have her by your side now more than ever, with a warm sensation in your chest knowing if you two could go through this, than you could go through anything in life as long as you were together.

Tagging: @1-800-depressedlesbian , @xgaygremlinx

(in case you want to be tagged for specific things or just everything I write, let me know)

[kaitycole]

Barely Breathing

Summary: Liam continues to process and learn more about his mother, Eleanor

Word Count: 2521

Pairings: Drake x Riley, Constantine x Eleanor

Warnings: N/A

Part 10 of WP. To catch up read here.

Tag List: @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @kingliam2019​ @texaskitten30​ @glaimtruelovealways​ @bobasheebaby​ @bascmve01​  @burnsoslow​  @the-everlasting-dream​  @ao719​ @sirbeepsalot​  @janezillow​  @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @kimmiedoo5​  @choices97​ @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​@lodberg @edgiestwinter​ @marshmallowsandfire​  @hopefulmoonobject​​ 

**I don’t own the characters, just borrowing them** 

“No.” Liam’s voice doesn’t raise above a whisper. He shakes his head repeatedly as if what he’s just read will change.

Panic fills his lungs with each breath as his chest tightens up. He presses his palms firmly into his desk as he stands up and walks over to his bookshelf. An entire shelf was dedicated to his mother; her favorite books, books she had read to him, framed photographs, her journals. His fingers gently grazed the spines of the books before he picked each one off the shelf one by one and threw them as hard as he could across the room.

He knew it would only be moments before guards burst into the room to check on him, he was surprised they weren’t already there. Book by book slammed against the walls of the office before he turned his attention to the photographs. Without hesitation, they too were smashed into the walls; glass shattering on impact and scattering across the wooden floor.

He wanted no reminders of his mother in the palace and soon stormed out and practically ran to the grand hall. Several guards tail him, but he just waves them off. He is on a mission now. Each step causes him to walk pass an oil painting of a previous ruler of Cordonia; each king and queen hung on this wall. Finally, he stopped in front of his mother’s: Queen Eleanor Rys. The commoner queen from Auvernese. Kindhearted Eleanor.

For months after her death, Liam could be found at this portrait. Sometimes he could be found sitting there reading one of the books she’d read him, but more times than not, he’d be found asleep, having cried himself to sleep.

But today, today he stands in front of this portrait and feels anger. He wraps his fingers around the frame and tries to rip it off the wall. For several minutes, Liam pulls and tugs at the painting trying to remove it from the wall.

“If she didn’t want to be Queen, Cordonia doesn’t need a reminder of her.”

“Your Majesty?” A guard slowly approaches the king.

“Have this taken down.” He walks pass him, “NOW!”

**

“Liam, honey.” Her voice is full of sleep which causes him to turn his neck in her direction. He looks down at his watch: 3:45 am and then back at Olivia, who is pulling the belt of her robe tighter.

He doesn’t answer her, he doesn’t know what to say to her. He doesn’t even think his voice would work if he tried; his throat burns from screaming at the night sky.

She takes a seat next to him on the bench near the garden that saw his wrath earlier that day. It’s not until he turns to look at her, just inches apart, that she can truly see his face. He’s paler than usual, black circles line his red, puffy eyes and he looks exhausted.

Something is said, but it’s too low for her to hear and when he repeats it, she watches the man she loves, completely shatter.

“She’s gone, Liv.” He starts crying, “She died three years ago.” He sinks to his knees in front of her, placing his head on her lap before letting, all the pain he’s ever felt, out.

----

Liam grips tightly to the side of his mother’s dress as they walk through the palace courtyard. It was one of the last days of autumn, the coldness slowly creeping into the air which meant the days of Liam and Momma adventures were winding down.

He looks up at her and smiles, he loves his momma. She’s was his favorite person and tied for his best friend with Drake. Lately she seems to be busier than usual, but Liam didn’t mind because she always made it up to him. She even snuck Leo and him into a restaurant so the three of them could enjoy a nice meal without the press a few days ago. And now they were going somewhere special on the palace grounds.

Eleanor looks at Liam who is beaming with happiness and her heart melts. Before she thought maybe he was missing out on having younger siblings since her and Constantine didn’t have any after him, but seeing him like this, he seemed perfectly content. Maybe Drake was what she hadn’t been able to give him, either way, she was happy that he had someone to lean on when she couldn’t be there.

“What’s this, momma!” Liam runs over to the brick structure before leaning over the side.

“Liam!” Eleanor sprints over there and pulls him back. Her heart beating out of her chest.

“Momma, did I do a bad thing?”

She looks down at him, his bottom lip poked out and trembling as tears pool in his bright blue eyes, “No, sweet boy. You just have to be more careful. You could’ve fell in.”

“I’m sorry Momma!” He throws his arms around her and she pulls him close to her.

“I know, baby.” She kisses the top of his head, “Wanna see what it is now?”

He nods, but keeps his head buried in her chest. She holds him for a little longer before they both stand up.

“This is a wishing well. You come here, make a wish and drop in a coin.”

“Does the wish come true?”

“Legend has it that they do.” She smiles at him as he looks at her with wide eyes.

“Momma, do you have a coin I could borrow?”

Smiling, she pulls two out of her coin purse and places one in his hand, “One for you and one for me.”

“You go first Momma. I want to make sure I do it right.”

Eleanor chuckles before closing her eyes for a moment and then flicks the coin off her thumb and they both watch as it falls down the well.

“You didn’t say your wish, Momma!” Liam whines.

“If you say them aloud, they don’t come true, silly.”

Liam straightens up his posture and holds the coin firm in his hand. He racks his brain, trying to come up with a wish. He could wish that Drake and him would be friends forever. Or that his dad would start treating Olivia better. Then it finally dawned on him what he should wish for and then he gently tosses the coin into the well.

“You want to tell me your wish?” Eleanor teases.

“No, Momma! I want it to come true!” He stomps his foot down, determined for it to come true.

“Okay, okay, sweet boy.” She reaches for his hand, “Let’s head back to the palace.”

*          *

The sun shines on his face, the warmth wakes him up as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. His head is heavy and throat sore from his meltdown last night. He rolls over, finally opening his eyes to see red.

“Liv?” Liam is completely confused.

She slowly wakes up, having fallen asleep kneeling by the side of Liam’s bed. Olivia tries to stand up but the stiffness in her knees cause her to stumble; Liam lunges forward, grabbing her arm and pulling her on the bed.

“What were you doing on the floor?”

“I planned on leaving once you fell asleep, but I must’ve been more exhausted than I thought.” She runs her hands through her hair, trying to tame it.

“Uhh,” Liam rubs the back of his neck, “There’s another half of the bed.”

Her face turns red, partially from his comment and the fact that his shirtless. And while she’s seen him shirtless before, she feels more vulnerable in this moment; plus, she knows now is not the time for such thoughts.

“I didn’t want to cause any rumors or cast shade on your reputation.”

“My reputation? How would my reputation look if people found out you slept on my floor?” He chuckles, shaking his head.

“I…Well…I’m sorry.” She drops her head down, completely embarrassed, “Sometimes it gets hard to friends with the king.”

Liam’s face drops, growing up titles didn’t hold much value to them, a title was a title in the eyes of a child. Maxwell, Bertrand, Leo, Madeleine, and Olivia all had titles and they just really shrugged at them. Well maybe not Madeleine. Even the fact Drake and Savannah didn’t have one, never mattered when they were children.

“Oh. I guess I never realized how much my title changed and how that changed our dynamic.” When Liam assumed the role of Crown Prince and then King, he took it in stride. He had never taken the time to think how his personal relationship had been changed.

“No, it’s just…” she sighs, “It’s hard sometimes to walk the line of Liam and the king. With just Liam, staying the night wouldn’t be an issue, we’ve been friends since childhood. But as the king, an unwed king, it’s a huge issue and inappropriate.”

“I’m sorry I put you in a compromised situation, Liv.” He begins to kick himself all over again when his father’s words ring in his mind: Kings don’t express emotions. Kings stay firm and strong. Him telling Olivia he didn’t want to be alone was him allowing his emotions to be in control of him once again.

“Don’t be,” She smiles at him, “Last night you didn’t need to be a king, you needed to be a human. A grieving son mourning the loss of your mother. I understood that.”

He presses his lips to her temple, a gesture he’s done several times before, “Liv, I don’t think I’d be able to function without you.”

She watches him walk to his bathroom suite before she turns her attention to her thoughts. Ever since Liam told her that the deaths of Eleanor and Jackson were faked, she felt she was holding her breath. She wanted to be there for Liam, to stay clear headed, but then last night happened and she learned Eleanor had actually passed.

However, Olivia wasn’t exactly sure what to think, while she didn’t think lowly of Queen Eleanor, she also didn’t hold her in such high regard as Liam did. Most of her childhood, Olivia was made to feel unwanted, like damaged goods and a stain of the fabric of nobility, but Eleanor never treated her that way. She took her in and tried as hard as she could to hold her close to her side, but Constantine would only allow a Nevrakis so close to the throne.

Part of her was almost happy that there was news Eleanor could be alive, she had lost one mother, losing Eleanor hurt just as badly. Though now, that hope was gone and if it crushed her as badly as it had, she couldn’t fathom what Liam felt.

*          *

“That’ll be all, Bastien.” Liam nods as Bastien bows and exits his office. It has been a little over two weeks since Liam had finished reading the files; since the night that Olivia had stayed with him through the night.

He thought maybe there was something between them, that their long-lasting childhood friendship would blossom into romance. A Nevrakis as the queen, Liam chuckled at the idea of his father rolling over in his grave. But once the initial haze of events blew over, he realizes that Olivia someone who should stay in his inner circle, not directly by his side. It was his need to cling to something constant, something that reminded him that his childhood wasn’t just a bunch of lies.

Before returning to Lythikos, Olivia expressed her concern and hesitation on him going to Montana to talk to Jackson. She made several points on how she didn’t think he would find the answers he was searching for, that what Jackson told him might not bring him the peace he wanted and that it could even backfire. While he wanted to side with her, to see where her concerns laid, he knew that he had to go. If anything, he needed to put a person to what he’s discovered instead of a fuzzy memory from years ago.

*          *

The next week is a long and tiresome game of phone tag between Liam and Drake; between Liam being on a business trip and Drake spending more time at the Walker Ranch, they missed each other’s calls frequently.

It isn’t until Liam has gotten back to the palace that he finally answers the phone when Drake calls.

“I was beginning to think you ghosted me.”

Liam laughs, “I’ll schedule diplomatic matters around your calls from here on out then.”

“How did the trip go?”

He rolls his eyes, “The country’s business part went fine, I gained enough support to pass the bill. It went downhill when my personal business was then discussed.”

“Uh oh. This sounds bad.”

“I was presented suitors. My father was unwed for way longer than three years when my mother…” He stops, he’s not sure what to say. When his mother died? When she ran off?

Drake catches on, “It was like ten years or so wasn’t it? Until he married Regina?”

“Exactly. Three isn’t that long.” Liam shakes his head, annoyed.

“But he did have two heirs,” Drake pauses, “Just saying.”

Liam sighs, “Maybe I’ll just name your child as my heir, get them off my back.”

Drake freezes, “What!? You can’t do that. That’s insane!” He continues rambling until Liam’s laughter causes him to stop.

“I’m kidding, that wouldn’t make any sense. Then what would happen to my first born?” Liam is still laughing, “Plus you hate nobility, there’s no way you’d allow it.”

“And the court says I’m the bad influence.”

“Anyway, the reason I’ve been calling isn’t just to give you a heart attack. I want to come to Montana.”

Drake slowly processes Liam’s words. They had the space to accommodate him staying for a few days and Riley would love to see Liam again, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for the two worlds to collide. He and his dad had just started talking more often and he wasn’t sure he was ready to open that part of his world up to Liam.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but I just want to hear Jackson’s side. I have questions too. I have things I want to lay to rest with this whole situation.”

“Yeah, I understand. Does next week work? Just so I have time to tell Dad and Riley.”

“Of course. Just let me know and I’ll have Bastien take care of the arrangements.”

*          *          

“Everything is in order, sir. Whenever you’re ready, we can leave.”

“Maybe I should stay here.” He lets out a sigh, “I mean what can Jackson really tell me, he’s not my mother.”

“No, but he was a part of her life and does have insight that could help.”

“What if…what if her life was better? Better without me?”

“Sir, I watched Queen Eleanor with you, there’s no world where her life was better without you. Don’t forget that you were everything to her.”

“That used to be easy to remember, nowadays, not so much.”

[youarejesting]

BTS365 Prompt.Week25

[Full Masterlist] [Prompt Masterlist]

Beta: @jung-hoseok-s-airplane

Please tag me in your work if you use my prompts. I want to see your work. Ever your Jester.

Tell me your birthday and I will tag you on your special day!

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        June 18th - 24th

═══════ ೋღ ღೋ ═══════

Kim Seokjin - panic @absoluteyoongit (I am so sorry I didn’t get to post it on your birthday, but still Happy Birthday my love)

You were at the BTS concert. It took all your savings, a countdown timer and quick refresh skills and you had scored mosh pit tickets. The concert was amazing. The fans were shrieking, pressing you to the gates and you were a little annoying. Until you were actually elbowed in the face by a fan during Dionysus. 

You fell forward over the gate and was grabbed by security, passing out with an apology. 

You woke to ice to your neck, you were sat hunched forward, hands holding your shoulders and chin. 

You blinked sitting up noticing the two medics were holding a bloody rag to your nose and you apologized taking the cloth and holding it. 

"How are you feeling?" The woman asked. 

"Uh my head hurts, some girl elbowed me during Dionysus, but I guess you couldn't blame her it's a really good song," it was awfully quiet and you had a nervous sick feeling, "what time is it, am I okay? I don't want to miss the concert"

"It is over," she said and you frowned.

"No it can't be over, I paid so much and I didn't get to even see them perform their new songs"

"I am sorry, but the concert is over, you can head home if you are ready just follow the exit signs," she said quietly you nodded holding your emotions in. 

You grabbed your small bag and stepped out the infirmary, tears starting to flow. Following the exit signs the further away you got the more you broke down. 

Until you bumped into someone re-injuring your nose and fell back onto your behind, openly crying as you sat like a child, shirt all bloody and nose bleeding once more. 

"Oh I'm so sorry" the voice said, it was soft and unsure, "I didn't mean to hurt you?"

A figure crouched in front of you and tilted your head a little to look you over, "Are you badly hurt?"

"I missed the concert," you sobbed and wiped your eyes, “I used all my money for the best seat in the house but I was knocked out. I didn't get to see any of their new songs.” 

"Hey shh, neoneun neui jigu, nege nan just a moon, me mameul baikyeojuneun neoui jageun byeol, neoneun naui jigu and all I see is you," he sang and you looked up to see the Kim Seokjin kneeling in front of you holding his handkerchief to your nose and smiling. 

The only appropriate response was for panic to set in. 

Min Yoongi - picnic

You were planning to have a picnic with your boyfriend of many years when he called and said he wasn’t able to attend but everything sounded suspicious especially the woman giggling in the background. So here you sat in the parking lot of a hotel with a picnic basket full of homemade snacks 

You entered the lobby and made the trek to the front desk. The young man at the front desk looked up and laughed at your light sky blue sundress, mismatched red coat and picnic basket. “Hello, little red riding hood, how can I help you?”

“I am looking for my boyfriend,” you said seriously, giving him the name and his face fell looking at your concerned face. “Are you sure he is at this hotel, maybe I spelt his name wrong.”

“The idiot used my credit card, I know he is here with another woman. You will give me the key to the room I paid for.”

“With pleasure little red, I will come with you purely for your protection.” He grabbed the keys and sprung over the desk shouting “I am on lunch, Mister Seokjin!”

The two of you took the elevator up to the fourteenth floor, where he asked you about you and your partner. He asked you all sorts of questions and generally being nosey but he was funny.

“Who rents a room at midday to cheat on someone, psychopaths, I am glad you found out now before you got murdered or something.” Making you laugh and taking your mind off the present issues regarding your cheating and lying boyfriend. 

“Listen little red, I finish work in less than thirty minutes. Let’s go on this picnic” He gave a cheeky smile showing all his pink gums. And for a moment you were happy with what had happened.

Jung Hoseok - sauntering

Hoseok was walking leisurely through Malta trying to find some souvenirs for the other boys. It was a hot day and he had lost Namjoon in a crowd, the music pulled Hoseok and when he looked back he was alone with only one cameraman. That’s when he saw you working at a restaurant, weaving through tables while dancing to the street music. 

You moved so elegantly rolling your head to the side while placing plates down at the tables. You didn’t walk, you glided slowly captivating him, every movement was so simple and yet looked like you were an angel floating and inch above the ground. 

In a way he was right, your six-inch heels kept you lighter than air on your feet and yet never let you touch the ground. Your hips swinging in figure eights exaggeratedly and seductively but it was your natural gait. 

He adjusted his collar and hat and went to saunter over letting his body move to the music in hopes to impress you like some nature documentary where the male species must impress the female with their moves. 

Kim Namjoon - juggling

The circus seemed like a fun idea, he thought the other members would enjoy the stunts and jokes and more. They were only in town for a week so he knew he had to get it over and done with before they missed out. It was a carefree night filled with ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ but then she appeared in a sparkly crimson leotard her lips as red as her outfit and she moved with grace to the music. 

Lowered from the ceiling she unravelled herself like a present and he watched her move the lights hitting her figure just right casting a silhouette onto the back of the tent, she rolled her hips and danced on pointed to kicking her legs and she began juggling three became four became five, six, seven and she spun and danced never dropping a single one. 

She started juggling both hands above her head and she slid into the splits and caught all the balls raising both hands into the air. He would be back. 

Park Jimin - Daylight (this will become a story but the details of the scene and how the reader finds the elevator might be different) 

You were being chased by a young woman trying to take your bag, you took a wrong turn in a shopping mall’s parking lot followed by at least four more until you reached an old abandoned floor below the basement you could hear her coming and you looked around finding a door with a faint glowing keypad, you pressed each number four times. 

1,1,1,1. No.

2,2,2,2. No.

3,3,3,3. No.

4,4,4,4. Beep. Yes, the reset sequence works on most old pin code machines. You snuck inside and it locked behind you.

Inside the room was kind of dark, you saw small glowing arrows one pointing up the other down, pressing the down arrow the doors opened and light poured in. 

It was an elevator and it looked like it was in good condition, stepping inside you pressed the button and headed down. What you saw shocked you; it was like an artificial world. It seemed to go on for a fairway, you could just see walls in the distance but there were lights that created an artificial daylight. 

The roof had screens showing a fake sky, there must have been UV lights as the trees and vegetation were growing well. Then of course there was the elevator shaft you were in, the further you went down the more you saw, animals and buildings and people. 

They turned to you watching the elevator come to a stop each holding weapons, it was then you noticed how big this underground ecosystem was and on top of that, the people were all handsome young men. 

They all looked scared of you except one. Jimin looked at you curiously. He had never seen anything like you before, what were you, you looked like him and yet different?

Kim Taehyung - ring

Taehyung’s ears were damaged and he barely had any hearing left all except for the constant ringing. He decided to just use sign language and live his life that is until he met you. You were like a breath of fresh air and you could sign a small hearing aid in your ear brightly colored for your own enjoyment and for others to notice. 

Jeon Jungkook - writer

Jungkook took his monthly wage and ran through the town, he passed a man with a long scar down his face which vaguely reminded him of the king. His thoughts were interrupted by a bearded man hitting him over the head with his fishing pole and Jungkook grabbed him by the collar and punched him. 

The scuffle didn’t take long, as both parties had yielded blaming the man with the scar. Jungkook continued on his way and finally arrived at the postal service. 

“Any letters for me Jimin?”

“None today,” he smiled, “you here to send another?”

“Only the best for my pretty flower.”

“What would you like it to say?”

“My dearest…” Jungkook poured his heart out and Jimin wrote it for him. And the letter was sealed and Jimin grinned, taking the small silver coin and handing back a few even bronze ones. 

[cryysiswritesthings]

Emotional H/C || Draining Reality

Fandom: Inuyasha Rating: Teen and Up Warnings: N/A  Status: Complete  Pairing: KogKag  Summary: Kagome is having a shit day, and Kouga is at a loss of how to help.

Find it On: AO3

Tumblr Tags: #kogkag #inuyasha #hurt/comfort #modern au

“I'm sorry, what? What do you mean I haven't paid my bill?”

“Ma'am I'm looking at your account--”

“So am I. It says right here that I owed the hospital just under five hundred dollars, and now you're trying to tell me I owe them another thousand?”

“Miss Higuarshi, your first bill was for the hospital directly, not for the physicians and MD who took care of you.”

“I only had one physician, actually, and I had to sit around waiting for over five hours for her to come stitch me! And just to make it worse, she chose not to listen when I said she was still causing me pain and then had the nerve to tell me I hadn't said anything! Do the words ‘ow that hurts’ suddenly not mean anything?!”

“Ma'am I understand your frustration--”

“Clearly you don't! And who exactly is this Dr. Kimoto?! Why am I being charged for services by someone who never even saw me?”

“Dr. Kimoto was the attending MD on site Miss Higurashi.”

“And what does that have to do with me?”

“Your PA would have consulted with him about treatment options.”

“If she’s a god damned PA she shouldn’t need a consult on how to stitch someone!”

“Miss Higurashi there's no need to shout.”

“I'm sorry, do you have $1,000 just lying around in your house? Because if you do you are more than welcome to pay for this since I'm not going to!”

“Not paying your bills will result in them being sent to collections and have a negative effect on your credit.”

“I. Do. Not. Care. I'm not paying you people for making me sit around for five hours only to end up causing me even more pain than the cut did in the first place! You want me to pay for the five minutes it took for her to sew me up? Fine! But I'm not paying for hours of sitting around doing nothing, and I'm sure as hell not paying some random doctor who never even saw me!”

“Miss Higurashi there are clear notes in your file from the doctor stating that he saw you.”

“Oh really? Really? Describe him. Tell me what this doctor looked like. Was he the old lady who came in and cleaned out the cut? Or was it the young blonde guy who came in and re-did her work while doing a ten times better job? Or maybe it was the head nurse who came in and told me his name was Raito and to let him know if I had any concerns about my stay.”

“Ma'am, Dr. Kimoto is a middle aged, dark haired male with square glasses and a beard. I'm looking at his photo right now.”

“... You're kidding me. You have got to be kidding me. The random guy who walked into my room, didn't bother to introduce himself, unwrapped my hand and let it bleed for a good minute only to rewrap it and walk out typing on a computer? That guy is Dr. Kimoto, and you want me to pay him?”

“Miss Higurashi, I am sorry about your experience, but bedside manner aside--”

“This has nothing to do with bedside manner! He didn't do anything but make me bleed and you want me to pay him five hundred dollars for it?! Are you crazy?!”

“Ma'am--”

“No, you know what, screw that! Go ahead and send it to collections, and when your people write it off for their tax breaks, I'll be calling my lawyer and suing you and the hospital for personal and emotional damages. Good bye!”

Kagome Higurashi slammed the phone into its receiver and screamed her frustration into her hands. What kind of crap was this?

"So," her head shot up, staring at the tanned male leaning against her door frame. "That sounded like absolute hell."

"You have no idea," the girl groaned, dropping her head to her arms. She didn't bother looking up at the sound of the door closing, or at the ruffle of moving blinds. Folders dropped to her desk blew a gust of wind over her hair.

It was the warm hands on her shoulders that made her tense, the slow circles drawn over her back only making it worse.

“Kouga, now is really not a good time.”

“Kagome…”

“Please, not now.” He only wanted to help, she knew that, but her agitation wasn’t doing him any favors. “You’re trying to be sweet, but I’m in a horrible mood right now and the last thing I want is to accidentally take it out on you.”

Much as he wanted to argue, Kouga knew better than to stick around when she asked him not too. But that didn’t mean he liked the thought of leaving her alone. “Do you still want to come over tonight? I can pick something up.”

“I’ll call you and let you know?” She dug her teeth into her lower lip, back a line of tension.

He swallowed back a sigh, squeezing her shoulders once and releasing her. “Sure. Just let me know.”

Some of the stiffness in her spine relaxed, though it wasn’t much. Better than nothing though.

Knowing her well enough by now, he wasn’t going to wait for her answer. He allowed himself one brief, barely felt kiss to the back of her head, and saw himself out, locking the door behind him.

Relief was a balm against the pounding thrum in her body, but it didn’t last long. It was dark with her head down, but the room was too quiet. A stilled silence. If she didn’t do something, it was going to drive her mad.

Wincing as she lifted her head, Kagome gave her eyes a moment to adjust. The cord of her desk lamp rattled as she pulled it, shining on the wood with a soft, incandescent glow. The buzz from the electricity flowing through the bulb helped some, but it wouldn’t be enough.

She stood to flick the switch for the office light, casting the room with a warm, sheltering darkness. The desk lamp gave off just enough light to allow her to work, and when she retook her chair she pulled up the display settings for her computer.

A few adjustments tinted the screen, removing the harsh edge of its light. Satisfied, she pulled up a playlist of soft rock on her phone, setting the volume on low. Loud enough to make out the words if she wanted, but still able to fade into the background.

Perfect.

Her closed office door meant she wouldn’t be disturbed, and the click of her pen helped her focus on the work in front of her.

~

Kouga hadn’t seen his lover emerge from her office since he’d left her, and the worry was starting to gnaw. He’d watched her lights dim, and between the blinds he could see the gleam of her lamp’s yellow bulb. He could already picture it; leaning back in her leather chair, the warm light making her skin glow. The first few buttons of her blouse undone, exposing the warm skin of her throat. It wouldn’t take much to slide her skirt up--

Jesus Christ, he needed to get a hold on his damn libido. Friday’s were supposed to be the start of their weekly date night, leading up to a glorious weekend tumbling between the sheets. Thanks to the bastards at the hospital, he’d be lucky if she came over at all.

He might have to make a run down there and throttle someone.

But that wasn’t Kouga’s main concern right now. Claws tapped a rhythm on his plastic desk, trying to stop his frequent glancing at her door. How could he make this better?

Huffing a growl, a ‘ping’ from his computer told him he’d been messaged. Seeing who it was made him roll his eyes.

M.Bong: My friend, I am in dire need of help.

K.Wolf: What have you done now?

There was a stream of denials of any wrong-doing. Not bothering to try and insist otherwise, he interrupted the human male mid triad.

K.Wolf: Miroku I’m busy. What do you want?

Blue dots bounced while the other male typed. Kouga quirked a brow, unhelpfully amused as they disappeared and reappeared while Miroku debated his response.

M.Bong: It seems I have managed to incur Sango’s ire. I was wondering if perhaps you could ask Kagome to speak to her on my behalf.

K.Wolf: Absolutely not. Fix your own screw ups.

M.Bong: But it was all a misunderstanding! She simply walked in at an inopportune moment!

K.Wolf: Uh-huh. And does this ‘inopportune moment’ have a name?

M.Bong: Koharu, but that is hardly the point. I’m innocent!

K.Wolf: Sure you are.

M.Bong: I mean it Kouga! Koharu’s been after me for months, she refuses to back off! She’s almost as bad as Ayame was!

The thought of all the things his ex-stalker was capable of made him wince in sympathy.

K.Wolf: You sure you’re not just exaggerating?

M.Bong: She left lingerie in my desk drawer for Sango to find last week. What do you think?

… Holy shit.

M.Bong: I know I’m a womanizer, but I am not a cheat. I would never do that to Sango. She’s my everything.

M.Bong: And it’s not that she’s really frustrated with me personally, it’s the situation. We’ve gone to HR and they’ve promised to handle it, but that doesn’t help her feel better about it now and I don’t know what I can do to help.

That was a feeling he knew intimately. Kagome’s door pulled at him, heart clenching in his chest. Dammit all, he wanted to fix it but that wasn’t…

Wait a minute.

He was suddenly reminded of the conversation they’d had a few weeks ago. About guys always wanting to give solutions when a girl just needed to vent.

Clearly that wasn’t going to happen right now with Kagome feeling the way she was, but… That didn’t mean there wasn’t another way to help. Kagome had a gift for always knowing how to help someone feel better after a bad day, and they tended to revolve around the same thing. So maybe if he did for her what she did for him…

Kouga grinned.

K.Wolf: I think I’ve got an idea.

~

The quiet tinkling of her phone’s alarm pulled Kagome from her task. Blue orbs flicked back and forth across the room. Nothing was out of place.

Sucking in a shallow breath through her nose, Kagome linked her hands behind her back, stretching them above her head. Pops bubbled and burst through her spine, the stretch of muscles making her yawn. She’d been sitting in the same position too long.

Her sighed turned into another yawn, making her eyes water. Wiping them briefly, she started gathering her work together. While she’d gotten a head start on all of her upcoming projects, the hanging organizer on her door was bound to be filled with more. The office would be closed for the weekend, so she’d have to take it all home.

Chairs scraped linoleum floors, signaling the real end of the work day. And reminding her that she hadn’t spoken to Kouga since she’d asked him to leave.

Rising from her chair, Kagome slipped around her desk and peeked through the blinds. Kouga was still sitting at his desk, pen tapping rhythmically in agitation as he glanced repeatedly at his phone. Her poor wolf. She knew all he wanted to do was help, and her silence was only making him worry about her.

But she still wasn’t feeling like herself. Conversation was on the very bottom of the list of things she needed, and he’d want to talk about it and see how he could fix things. She didn’t honestly think she could handle it right now. Still…

Kagome looked back at the room, hugging herself. If Kouga was willing to… ugh, it sounded so selfish just thinking about it. How rude would it be to ask him to leave her alone while she was in his house ? She may as well not even bother going.

She missed him though. And she wouldn’t mind the company.

Biting her lip, she gave her arms one last squeeze and headed for the door. Nerves danced along her skin; she didn’t want to be out there right now. There were too many people, the fluorescent bulbs would be too bright, and the noises didn’t even bear thinking about.

But Kouga was waiting, so she was going to deal with it

She struggled briefly with the knob, kicking herself when she remembered he’d locked it on his way out. Embarrassment tinted her cheeks pink, but not enough to keep her from cracking her door to peek out at the floor.

Kouga looked away half a second too late. Even if she hadn’t seen it, the subtle lines of tension in his body would have given him away. She’d always been able to read him like a book.

Wetting her lips, Kagome slipped from her office, offering brief smiles to those passing. A break in the crowd let her make her way towards him; he was already standing by the time she reached him.

She stepped into his open arms, burying her face in his button down shirt. Large, warm hands moved slowly up and down her spine, and a soothing rumble hummed in his chest. She was letting him comfort her, and he was going to take full advantage.

She was so lucky to have him.

She made to pull back, but one of Kouga’s hands cupped the back of her head, keeping her there. Voices grew in volume as they chattered aimlessly, moving slowly down the hall and away from them. She was so, so grateful; even with the little things, he was still looking for ways to help her feel better.

Flushed and pleased, she turned just enough to leave a light kiss over his heart.

“How are you feeling?”

“Only a little better. Still not great.” Her fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt, clinging to him.

Her wolf dropped a kiss to her head, humming in thought. “How can I help?”

Kagome bit her lip, nervous though she knew there was no reason to be. Kouga could be ridiculously understanding when he wanted to be.

“I was thinking… I do want to come over tonight, if that’s okay.” She giggled quietly when he scoffed. “I just… I don’t really feel like talking much. At all, really.”

“But you still want to stay the night?”

“Mm-hmm.” She tilted her head up, searching his face worriedly. “Would that be okay?”

Cupping her cheek, he kissed her, lips soft against her own.

“Absolutely.”

~

When Kagome had left the office to head home and pack, Kouga booked it to his car and headed home. He finished a call on the way there, taking the steps two at a time to get to his apartment. He could have just taken the elevator, but the quick workout helped him clear his head.

Jacket hung and briefcase tossed to the side, he spent the next hour cleaning up his apartment. Dishes were done, floors vacuumed or swept, sheets on the bed changed, laundry started, fridge emptied of its few expired foods, trash taken out…

Standing back to admire his work, Kouga smirked. Perfect. Kagome would be around in another half hour or so, so he’d make sure to turn the radio on before she got there. Now all he needed was a shower and they’d be set for the night.

Kouga was in and out of the shower, drying off completely and tugging on some lounge pants before doing one last sweep of the place. He flicked the radio on as he entered the kitchen, pulling down some bowls and plates from the cabinet. He left them on the counter for now, fingers tapping impatiently against his sides. What else, what else… there had to be something he was missing…

It was the sunset that made him think of it. Lighting, that was what he was forgetting!

He flicked off the main switches, turning on lamps to illuminate the living room in their place. The kitchen light was more fluorescent than yellow, but Kagome likely wouldn’t be spending any time there. Not if he had anything to say about it.

As a passing thought, Kouga grabbed some pillows from his bed and threw them on the couch. Kagome’s favorite blanket he hung over its back, along with an extra comforter for himself. AC turned down was a little manipulative, but it might make her more willing to cuddle too…

The lock on his door turned while he was debating, the open door blowing Kagome's scent sweetly under his nose. She wore her favorite pair of sleeping shorts and overly large t-shirt, soft from years of use. She’d come dressed for comfort, slipping her flats off and dropping her overnight bag by the door.

She looked a little worn even freshly showered. Rather than say hello, Kouga simply held his arms open, closing them around her when she stepped into his embrace. Her sigh of happiness was a line of warm air across his chest, and kissed the top of her head, breathing her in.

They stayed that way for a while, Kouga holding her, Kagome allowing herself to be held. She was glad she’d made the decision to come over and see him. He wasn't pressing her to explain, wasn't trying to make her talk when she didn't want to. They stood quietly together, existing in each other's presence. It was exactly what she needed.

Kagome’s peace was interrupted by a chime from her wolf's phone. Pouting when he pulled it out, she snuggled more tightly against his chest, only making him laugh at her antics.

He released her with another kiss to the crown of her head and headed for the door. Curious, but unwilling to follow, she collapsed onto his couch, tugging the blanket over her head. She really should be getting started on the work she’d brought with her.

Only half listening, Kagome followed the sound of Kouga’s movement throughout his apartment. The slap of feet against tile made her look up curiously, peeking around the back of the chair to peer at the entryway of Kouga’s kitchen. Something smelled delicious. He’d had food delivered?

She made to sit up and stand, feeling nosey. Apparently he was paying more attention than she'd thought, because he poked his head out of the kitchen.

"Sit, you," Kouga told her, only half joking. "I'll be out in a sec."

"But--"

"Stay." Her huff was answered with a fangy grin, and he got back to work.

Sighing, Kagome let him finish… whatever he was doing. She arranged the blanket and comforter, shifting things around for them to be comfortable. The clinking of plates and silverware still kept distracting her, but she stayed settled on the couch. He was being secretive, but she'd find out soon enough.

Feet on the tile turned to padding on the carpet. Kouga was in front of her only a moment later, a glass of wine and a bottle of beer held in one hand with two plates balanced on his other arm.

“Kouga!”

“Ah! Sit.” His tone was disapproving as she made to stand. “I am more than capable of carrying a few plates.”

“I still could have helped.”

“Yes you could have, which would have defeated the point of me carrying them.” He wanted to kiss that annoyed pout right off her lips, but one wrong move and he’d drop everything. Better to stay focused.

She watched curiously as he first set the drinks down, wondering at the food on his plates. She was only half paying attention to him when she handed him a pillow to sit on as he sat across from her.

She didn’t have to look at him to know he was silently laughing at her, intent as she was on the dish in front of her. Why did… It hit her like a sack of bricks, and she looked up in dazed surprise.

“You ordered from Marrow’s.”

His smile was pleased. “I did.”

“They took this off their menu.”

“They did.”

“But you got it for me?”

“Looks like it.”

When she looked up from her plate, her smile was grateful, if a bit watery. “How…”

“I learned from the best.” Kouga’s eyes softened, and he covered her hand with his. Nerves whispered down his throat, worried but hopeful. “Did… does this help? I know it’s not an instant fix, but it works whenever you do it for me, so I thought, maybe…”

“It does.” Kagome’s sniffle was quiet, wiping at her eyes and releasing his hand to crawl over to his side of the table and into his lap. Her arms circled his neck and his her waist, hugging her to his chest. “It really, really does.”

A relieved sigh emptied his lungs, his grip around her tightening with gratitude. “I tried to set up the apartment a bit. To help, I mean.” Cupping her cheek, he pressed his forehead to hers. “I think I got it all, but if I messed up somewhere I can fix it.”

Frankly, it hadn’t really hit her why walking into Kouga’s apartment had relaxed her so completely. She turned now, taking the time to fully look around and see what he’d done. The dimmed lighting, the radio quietly playing, even the blankets and pillows. He’d turned his apartment into a haven for her to settle herself in.

New tears brimmed her eyes, and Kagome captured his lips with hers, kissing him with a smile. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

His thumb lingered over the soft skin of her cheek, sky-blue orbs gentle and loving. “I think somewhere along the way you might have agreed to marry me.”

Kagome leaned into his touch, warmth seeping into her heart. Her fingers closed lightly over his wrist, and her other hand pulled the thin silver chain hidden under her shirt into the open. On it hung a simple, elegant ring. “I did, didn’t it?”

“Mhm.” He brushed a kiss to her forehead, nuzzling her lightly. “Means you get all the perks of having me for a future husband.” Her laugh soothed the last of his worries. “The laughter’s free.”

“You’re too sweet to me,” she said with a sigh, laying her head against his chest.

“Nah.” Kissing the crown of her head, he pulled her plate over to his side, spearing one of her shrimp and holding it to her lips. “When it comes to you there’s no such thing.”

Biting her lip didn’t hide her smile, but she opened her mouth, indulging him. “If any of your guy friends heard you say that, they’d call you whipped.”

“I am proud to be whipped, thank you very much.” His fiancee giggled into his chest, so he took a bite of his own food.

“Think you can handle the teasing?”

Snorting, he held a bite of her food out for her. “They can tease me about it all they want. Doesn’t make it any less true. Hell,” Kouga’s lips quirked in a grin. “I’ll take whatever they want to dish out. Me being whipped just proves how much I love you.”

His woman shifted in his arms and pressed her lips softly to the underside of his jaw. The submissive gesture made his chest rumble in pleasure, and he tilted her head up so he could properly kiss her. Her eyes were soft as they parted, so he stole one more kiss, brushing his nose with hers.

“Now then.” Kouga’s lips quirked in a playful smile, holding out another forkful of food. “Think you love me enough to let me feed you?”

“Hmm,” Pretending to think about it, Kagome tapped her chin thoughtfully even as she settled back into his chest. “I’ll allow it.”

Snorting a laugh, he let his fingers dance briefly against her side, making her laugh. “Such an honor, Your Majesty.”

“You know it.”

They sat that way for a while, Kagome with her back to his chest, and Kouga alternating between feeding the two of them. Her glass of wine was untouched, his beer warming the longer it sat.

“Kouga?” He hummed, letting her know he’d heard her. “I love you.”

Smiling, Kouga hugged the love of his life to his chest. “Kagome?”

“Hm?”

“I love you too.”

[fiendfluid]

it is an unmooring of the mind

Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Jonathan Sims & Daisy Tonner, Martin Blackwood & Daisy Tonner Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan Sims, Daisy Tonner, Peter Lukas, Tim Stoker, Background & Cameo Characters Additional Tags: Selkies, Drowning, Lonely Typical Depression And Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, Touch-Starved, Casual Physical Affection, Blood and Gore, Hopeful Ending, Fluff and Angst Chapters: 7/10

“Persistent bastards.”

Jon pulls the binoculars away from his face, his mouth set in a grim line. 

They had to leave port without Daisy, with the Tundra looming ominously in the horizon--drawing closer with every panicked minute of unmooring and setting off. Jon had insisted she would be able to track them down, but even he had looked worried, which of course set Martin off in turn. 

They set off, staying as close to shore as they dared, something about being in the open water without her set Jon on edge, though nowadays anything did, really. Not that he was paying attention.

“Your lot must have finally killed one too many of their playthings.” Martin mutters coldly.

In the six days of speedy travel away from the Tundra, nothing had been done to improve the strain between them--not that either of them have tried to fix anything; Jon just hovers around, like some kind of nervous moth, drawn toward the light but unsure what to do once it got there--and frankly Martin isn’t in the trying mood. 

“Martin,” Jon says slowly, staring in that way he does often; usually when he thinks Martin’s being a moron. “the Tundra was never chasing after me, they’ve been looking for you.”

Martin scoffs, frowning. “What? No it’s not. They dragged you onto the ship in the first place, Lukas has been trying to kill you!” 

The clouds overhead crackle with ill temper, casting the boat in strange, draining grey light. It makes Jon appear more gaunt, haggard as he slides into the chair across from Martin. He hasn’t been sleeping, that much is clear from the shadows under his eyes, the lifeless sheen to his skin--and even if he hadn’t been looking, the nightmares are enough of a tell themselves. Martin stamps down the spark of pity he feels.

“While you’re right that Peter Lukas has never turned down a chance to hurt us, he’s never gone out of his way to seek us out until now.” Jon clarifies. “He’s--he’s probably not even allowed to kill me.”

“What does that mean?” Martin asks, and Jon twitches uncomfortably. 

“It’s a long story.” Jon deflects, fumbling blindly for his lighter as he lights up yet another cigarette. But Martin isn’t in the mood. 

“No, sorry, you don’t get to do that.” Martin says, stabbing an accusing finger toward Jon. “Now isn’t the time for secrets or being cryptic. No more games, so just talk like a normal person.”

Jon doesn’t so much as flinch, matching Martin’s stony gaze with one of his own. He has never been one to push, or walk directly into conflict, but he holds his ground now, and it doesn’t take long before Jon relents, letting out a long, frustrated noise akin to a growl alongside a billow of smoke. 

"You’re right…” Jon concedes, like he’s been forced to swallow glass. “listen, things have happened with Lukas in the past, terrible things I don't ever wish to repeat--you don't know what he is, the friends he keeps."

“Then tell me.”

“Fine.” Jon starts, his voice adopting a tone of professional distance, his eyes fixed at a point just past Martin's shoulder. “I have not been, nor will I ever be safe as long as I live this life as a creature such as I am. I have spent years avoiding the nets and collars of every monster worse than I that wishes to claim me or my skin. But the Tundra has always been one step ahead of me...”

Jon trails off, lost in thought. He smiles so sadly that Martin almost asks him to stop, but curiosity keeps him quiet. 

“I was so cocky, so sure of myself and my abilities. But you can't avoid a cage when it is shrouded in fog.” Jon continues, “I was caught--Lukas wanted to give me back to the Institute, as a gift, probably. I had to fight tooth and bloody nail to get away before that happened. By the time that damn ship finally vanished from the horizon, I was just angry.

“I met Daisy, and she was willing to help me…deal with the Tundra. So I tried to hurt him. Whatever he wanted I took before he could have it. Whether that be potential victims turned proteges or damaging the ship, it didn't matter. We were riding the world of monsters, at least, that's how it felt...but well, you know.”

His eyes flit up to catch Martin's gaze before shying away. “Things...changed.”

His voice warps and changes, fraying at the edges of control. Martin can feel the way his own face turns down in a grimace, unable to keep his horror from manifesting. Not when Jon bares his soul, albeit reluctantly. 

“But he never retaliated against us,” Jon frowns, with a very unsubtle clearing of his throat, “he’s never batted an eye until now.”

“The Institute you mentioned,” he starts softly, wary of Jon’s responding flinch. “does Lukas have a hand in that as well?”

Jon shakes his head, gathering his arms close around himself. “Not entirely. He supplies them with money and other such things. No, that place is...someone else’s doing.”

“And they hurt you too? They did--” Martin cuts himself off. He weakly gestures toward the whole of Jon. 

“Not all of it.” Jon says, rubbing at a couple of his scars. “But yes.”

“And have you hurt them? Has it even helped at all?”

“No. No it hasn’t.”

“Well.”

“Like I said, I'm not trying to justify my-my monstrosity.” 

“You aren’t a monster, Jon. But I don’t understand why you chose now to run away from everything.”

“Because I’m scared, Martin!” Jon snaps, his voice loud like an explosion between them. “I don’t ever want to set foot on that ship again, and I won’t go back to whatever hellish games await me inland. But Lukas wants you--for what I don’t know, could be something to do with the mark Gerry mentioned or simply just being a part of the Tundra, but that could mean anything. So if it means I have to run to protect us, then I will.”

Martin takes him in, all harsh edges and deranged eyes; biting at his lip with single minded doggedness, nails scraping skin as if to rip up every one of his imperfections up from the root with little care for the damage he’ll leave in its wake. 

“You don’t have to fight the world alone,” he says at last, though he isn’t surprised when Jon just shakes his head in instantaneous refusal.  “I’m scared too, for what it’s worth.”

Jon jerks as if struck. The look on his face shatters the distance between them just as swiftly as it shatters Martin into a million tiny pieces. He meant it to pacify, to calm the turmoil raging away in Jon's mind so plainly. But Jon just looks as if the world crashed around his shoulders, the wall he had been building back up between them falling to the wayside, leaving him small, fragile. 

“I'm sorry.” he says, with such sincerity and grief it stabs a shard of pity deep into his chest, that Jon would assume it was him Martin was afraid of. Maybe in the past that would have rang true, that his deeds would have proven too damning. 

“Just promise you won’t do that again.” Martin says, holding his gaze without flinch. 

Jon bristles immediately, predictably, despite all his claims against defending himself. His face does an interesting dance, twisting an array of emotions too quickly for Martin to truly parse until he lands on something weary, accepting. 

His voice is small, a croak of noise in the hollow of his throat. “Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Yes, okay.”

“Just to clarify, you know I mean the drowning--”

“Yes, Martin. I understand, thank you.” He snorts, a humorless sound but a step in the right direction. 

Martin ducks his head, hiding the small, blooming smile spreading across his lips. He reaches out between them, plucking the cigarette from Jon’s unsteady fingers, ignoring the absolutely pissy look it earns him. Depositing it into the bin where it belongs, he turns back to face Jon, daring him to argue. 

Jon scowls, albeit softly, something turning it wobbly. He raises the binoculars back up to scan the empty yet teeming wake they leave behind, not saying another word.

(LINK TO READ THE REST IN THE REBLOGS)

[carrot-kun]

A short story based in New York City in the mid 1980s.

Part two: New Waves

The soft sobbing of the patient in the bed next to Jay's woke me up. I pushed my overgrown hair, which now touched my shoulders, out of my oily face. I had come to expect the sobs in the dull dirty hospital to be my lullaby, but these new cries were more intense. Clearly, a new patient had been admitted.

"Paul's gone?" I enquired of my ill husband who was staring with tearful eyes at the drag family. He nodded as he looked my way. "Today afternoon. Bless his soul, he was a cheerful one."

"He was." The pandemic had claimed another roommate of his. Seeing these familiar corpses must eat away at his heart and hope. After Bobby's, he has been counting down to his final days.

"Why didn't you tell your mother about this? You could have dropped dead and we wouldn't have realized." The matriarch of the family screamed as she held on to the pale boy's hand. His sunken eyes were green like the pillow on his bed. He looked barely a year older than little Jason.

"Ma!" Jason shouted when he was at the door with a paper bag full of fruits. He glanced at the boy on the bed as he walked to our corner near the window.

"Jay?" The new patient fixed his eyes on Jason. "Jay?" He sat up while Jason turned to face me and thrust the bag against my hands.

"I will be late for the ball if I stay but I will be back with my trophies." He placed a quick kiss on a confused Jay's cheek and then on mine.

"Jay?" The weak boy shouted making Jason flinch.

"Do you know him, Jason?" I stood up and put my hands on his shoulder. Turning him around, I smiled at the boy. "Hello! My name is Alex, I am Jason's mother, are you two friends?"

"Hello!" He mustered up a gentle smile. "Yes, we met at the ball. My name is Raymond."

"Right, he is that kid you have been fooling around with!" His mother stood up. "You! You made my son sick!" She stormed up to Jason and I immediately pushed him out of the way and faced her with equal ferocity.

"No, ma. I was sick before I met him." Raymond defended him. "I am sorry for not telling you, Jay." He was close to tears.

"Your kid would have made my son sick." I put my hands around little Jason and pulled him closer. Sparks flew as the mothers glared at each other. "Jason, come with me." I commanded, strutting out of the crowded room.

"Ma-" Jason started on his defense.

"Tell me you used a condom." I begged when we reached the cafeteria. I took a seat and let the evening sunlight hit me.

"I did, ma. We did." Jason sat down and begged with his eyes. "You know I wouldn't do anything carelessly."

"I know. But you never told me about him, so I was worried." I sighed.

"Sorry. I was just caught up in it. You were right, I shouldn't trust the boys with sweet eyes." He held my hand. "He already knew he was sick, and he hid it from me."

"When did you realize?" I asked in an affectionate tone.

"Last week when he fainted after the ball when we were eating at Jenny's." Jason recalled. "I told him that I couldn't be with him after his lie."

"You really fancied him, didn't you? He is one of those pretty ones." I tried to make him feel better. "We need to get you tested, darling. I'll come with you." I stood up.

"I already did, ma. I am okay." He hugged me tightly as he got up.

"You must have been scared, kid." I patted his head and kissed his forehead.

"I was." He whispered. "Anyway, I will stay, I will take care of Pa today, you should go home. You have work tomorrow. Jenny's has a Sunday special sale, grab two boxes of pancakes on your way." He pushed me towards Jay's room.

"Why two? I'll buy one for you tomorrow morning." I smiled as we reached the silent room. "Just trust me." He laughed.

"Talk to your boy when you are ready, okay? He needs all the cheer right now. Poor kid, he must be terrified." I told him in a whisper before I opened the creaky door. "Jay, little Jason says he will be with you for the night, so I will go home and clean up. I will come tomorrow after work." I informed him as I packed my handbag.

As I walked through the crowded corridors, head empty from the scare my heart just had, a bunch of papers fell from a nurse's hand right ahead. I immediately bent down to help her pick them up. "There you go Nurse ... " I read her tag as I returned them. "... Fisk?"

"Thank you!" Her long brown hair has wrapped up in bun at the base of her neck, and short strands fallen over her cheeks framed her face. A cheeky smile appeared as she put the papers inside her file. Getting up, she rushed off to her destination.

"Fisk." I recalled while I continued the journey. "That's a funny name."

Stepping into Jenny's, I bought two boxes of pancakes and got into our apartment. I groaned as I took off my jacket and put the boxes on the kitchen island.

"You sure look like you have been through hell." A high-pitched voice shocked me.

"What?" I yelled as the smartly dressed woman smiled at me from across the hall. "Margret! You nearly killed me!" I laughed as I ran to her.

"Woah, woah, no hugs till you have taken a bath." She chuckled while hitting me with her purse.

"What are you doing in New York? Why didn't you write or call?" I questioned her. I walked towards the bathroom.

"I called Jason. He told me about ... Bobby and Jay." Her chirpy attitude quieted down. "AIDS, is that what it's called now?"

"GRID did the damage it had to." I scoffed. Picking out fresh clothes, I closed my eyes, "Sorry, I am a bit frisky." I gestured towards the kitchen. "Help yourself to some pancakes, I'll join you in a second."

I cleaned up and with the towel in my wet hair, I joined her. "Pretty good, huh?" I rubbed my thumb against her palm as I opened my box.

"It is." She cleared her throat. "Alex, I am moving to the west coast. I am going work on my writing there." Her eyes were on floor.

"Oh." I faked a jolly tone.

"I have met someone." She continued.

"Oh!" I put my hand over my mouth. "Do I know her?" I looked away.

"No, you don't know him. Kurt is coming with us. He has gotten a job there already. San Fransico." She quickly added. "I have heard that it is a beautiful town, perfect for Kurt."

"Yes, San Fransico is ... well, queer." I let out a hollow laugh.

She joined me. "Are you happy here?" She asked as I stuffed my face with the pancakes.

I paused. "Yeah, yes. Of course."

"You're still living for him." She observed.

"Him?" I resumed eating.

"It's been five years since you left." Margret sighed. "You lived for Jay then, I thought New York would make you live for yourself at last." I stayed silent.

"Jay needs me right now, he needs to stay alive." I spoke after a few seconds.

"You know the government isn't going to let anything happen." She put her hand on my shoulder.

"What if he lives long enough for something to happen? I must help him stay alive till then. It’s my duty as his wife." I pushed back.

"You never lived as anything but his wife. You lived as a scared teen dyke, the perfect daughter till you became his wife. You never lived." She said out right.

"I don't care for life. It brings shame and sorrow. I would rather die normal than a deviant dyke. A monster, a terrible creature, is that what you want me to be when I die?" I screamed in her face, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"What are you waiting for? You think you can live in the afterlife, do you?" She stood up and closed her eyes. "We will never get to go to that precious heaven. No matter how much we hide, we will still be cast to hell." She started walking to the door. "I'll meet Jay before I leave. Farewell Alex!"

The night was silent, but my head was crowded with thoughts and emotions. I tried to brush them aside next day, as I worked, but the voices were too loud. That evening I walked into the hospital with three boxes from Jenny's.

"Ma!" Jason was sitting between the two men. "How did your meeting with Margret go?"

"Good. I am happy she is getting to do what she wants." I smiled while I petted Jason's head.

"Nurse Fisk! Good evening!" Raymond exclaimed.

"Good evening!" She said in a jolly voice. "I brought your dinner, Raymond." She looked around the room and smiled. "Oh, is this Mrs. Poole? We meet again." She shook my hand.

"Again?" Jay asked. Nurse Fisk quickly told them about yesterday.

"Raymond, take this, I will take your lunch." I placed a box of pancakes on his lap. Taking the tray, I turned to Fisk. "So, we you be joining us for dinner ..."

"Veronica." She giggled. "Well Alex, I would love to, but I am busy right now. Perhaps another day." She moved closer and kissed me on the cheek before leaving.

"You are red!" Jay shouted. "Ohhhhh." He shimmied his shoulders. "Someone has a crush." "I don't." I puffed up my cheeks.

"You do!" Jason and Raymond yelled in unison.