#sorry did it get dark in here?

[kkglinka]

It's called the Cat's Cradle cuz Bea's a baby butch.

[tubbytarchia]

got an urge to design ponies oops

[fairsweetlonging]

the thing that sets apart hua cheng from most other devotee/worshipper-type relationships in other media is that hua cheng would actually throw himself on his knees and crawl across the floor if xie lian wanted to, he would demean himself without shame because shame comes from the perception that you have done something wrong or foolish in another's eyes, and hua cheng would never see his god's will as either, nor care for anyone's else's opinion

[mourn-and-watch]

dark urge experience so far

[purgaytorysupremacy]

oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.

recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)

because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.

and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).

Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.

at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.

something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.

Cas never knew.

Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.

but Cas never knew.

the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.

so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.

this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?

nah.

true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.

[pinkd3mon]

I can respect the hater mentality

[robotsafari]

redrawing my favorite gba chain of memories scenes with my own interpretations part 1(?):

“You’re thinking about me… You’re afraid of the darkness I command.”

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Just wait, Roku's gonna see Kyoshi and call her "mommy" (non-sexual) and Kyoshi's just going to stare blankly at him and be like "Fucking hell, you ARE my reincarnation. Is this was Kuruk felt like? Thank fucking christ Nyahitha is dead, I wouldn't be able to take the bullshit coming out of his mouth"

And Roku is just standing there both embarrassed to all hell, terrified (he called the scariest lady in the world to ever live mommy c'mon), and confused as fuck. jkaljsfs;af

[oopsallmabari]

....why are the youtube comments so mad lol don't y'all like to have fun. don't we like to have fun here

[bonkalore]

Sooo... There’s this newer show called Daniel Spellbound and this demon guy named Jayce Chinda in the second season, who I’ve kind of attached myself to recently and very suddenly, but I will add admit, I feel the show could have been much better and I’m sad about that. 😭 You can tell there’s a lot of constraints from budget and time that limited it a lot. It’s an urban fantasy setting with some cool concepts and good & diverse character designs, and whoever is doing the color keys for the show is on point, but it does end up feeling lacking in most other things to me unfortunately.

Jayce here sadly only mostly looked like the first few pics here. No tail or other horns. 😔 I don’t want to give spoilers, but it definitely felt like his narrative was leaning toward him having a bigger, badder demon form or at least something change, but he did not and I was rather disappointed.

So I gotta do it myself I guess.

But yeah, I’m back on my bullshit and have gone and run off with the AU stuff as I usually do and will say in advance that most of my fanart is only vaguely rooted in what was given in the canon if you’re wanting to check out the show and expect something else!  I’m just glad to want to draw something again tho, it’s been ages.

[blueskittlesart]

i feel like im back in public high school

[st4rstudent]

sorry for the quietness on my accounts as of recently. classes start later this week. you know how it is

[porto-rosso]

brother where is the charles appreciation

[sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine]

I'm 25 today

[solradguy]

They're going to do more Sol story in season 3 and it's going to drive me nuts in a bad way I can feel it in my bones. They're going to put his ass in a domestic situation and Homer Simpson him. If I name the evil it can't hurt me

[front-facing-pokemon]