#sorry for being delusional on main but you all should have expected that from me by now

[latewife]

ive actually decided i hate being an introject so I'm going to be normal now (it was in fact not normal)

[lilacsareinbloomagain]

Yandere time and hyrule headcannons

I'm not sure if you've seen the hype around sky being in his undershirt and being ✨pretty✨ in the recent update, but could I please request reader fawning over Yan!sky in his undershirt or some general hc's for him?

Thank you both for requesting!

Notes: I wasn't that online on tumblr around that time, so I only saw it now lmao.

Anyway, I did both headcannons and a oneshot, hope you'll like it!

Also, yes, I merged those two requests since headcannons can be piled into the same post.

I'll probably sound redundant in a lot of these, simply because I didn't write this at one go and when I got to it again I may have forgotten that I wrote it before. My memory is not the best, forgive me.

There are more headcannons for Time because he's my favorite, sorry.

I need a master list, seriously.

Edited before sleeping, I'm sleepy and probably messed up one or two paragraphs of this.

The oneshot in question.

TWs: Yanderism, Mentions of food and bad eating habits and a little of my fairy/fae brain rot.

Don't mind grammatical errors, please!

Headcannons for yandere Sky, Time and Hyrule.

Yandere! Lu! Sky x Reader

For starters, Sky is sweet, but he is very manipulative.

Therefore, don't be surprised if you notice you stopped doing many of the things you used to do when you first got through the portal.

Most of the time it's not even bad things!

He might team up with Hyrule and Wild to take care of your main health, like eating habits. If you're a picky eater then expect Sky to slowly transition you into eating a little bit of everything, in no time you'll be eating like Wild does.

Then again, he'll also make sure to get the ingredients to the foods you do eat without struggling, also getting Wild to make a separate meal for you, should you not eat that one specific recipe Wild made for dinner.

You'll probably be getting help from him when it comes to self-care habits as well, like, the max of skin care and hair care you can get at Hyrule. He will make the effort to talk to people who know more about your skin and hair type, those who have it and take care of it well.

But, we can't ignore the genuinely bad things he will try to influence you into doing...

Privacy? Gone.

Not only will he be around you most if not all of the time, but he will also always be paying close attention to you and what you're doing.

So if you believed keeping a journal in your language would help you keep some things to yourself, then think again. The privacy of using your language instead of hyrulean to write in your jornal will soon turn into a mere illusion. Despite being more quiet and seemingly the less imposing of the Links, Sky has already gone, and will keep going through lengths for you, which includes learning the language you use.

Of course he noticed you kept a private journal, and despite you trying to lie about the contents of it, it's only a matter of time until he is skillfully scanning through the pages with his eyes like he's reading his favorite book. Memorizing any and all information he can find about you.

As manipulative as he is, he is also delusional, he doesn't have any idea of what he is doing, he simply doesn't know that what he is doing is wrong on so many levels.

He's not doing anything on purpose, he's just trying to protect you and get you to like him, like a normal guy!! At least, Zelda liked it when he did this with her back then, just how different are you two?

Genuinely, Sky would have a hard time figuring you and your emotions out. You're a human being after all, and he respects that those things are not supposed to be easy to figure out. In fact, he highly respects and appreciates that you're complex.

Not that he'll respect boundaries, nope, no way.

You're a puzzle he's very much looking forward to figuring out. Honestly, the only puzzle he'd ever want to figure out.

So, I'll probably elaborate this later, but the chain as Gods. Sky would be very much a Thor. That means silly blonde lightening man.

Imagine hylians from Sky's era used matching earrings alike engagement rings, like, Sky just randomly inviting you to an overly nice picnic, just to hand you blue earings just like his.

And if you don't have your ears pierced anywhere it'd be even better in his eyes, since he'd just adjust it to be a "normal" ring.

It was actually an engagement ring, but you didn't know that, or any of the other Links, really, since this tradicional custom got lost in time.

Yandere! Lu! Time x Reader

I think pretty much everyone knows Time is a teasing bastard.

Don't get me wrong, he can be pretty mature, but trust me, it's not really common for him to act like that.

Time is used to pretending, he used many different masks to become different races in his journey, that was needed from him at the time, the same way that being the mature one is being needed from him right now.

Just because he is deeply traumatized emotionally and physically from his job as a hero doesn't mean his personality is lost as well.

It didn't change that much since he was a child, not really.

He is addicted to making you flustered, so if you get flustered easily I'm sorry for you.

If making you blush is a challenge then I'm just as sorry for you, because Time isn't quite known for giving up easily.

And he's good at making people embarrassed, too.

The amount of women who were in love with him is everything I need as proof.

But the worst part? He doesn't have bad pick up lines.

Look, Time is a toucher, so yes, his love language is physical touch, that makes sense to me.

That doesn't mean only cuddling, of course, it can mean cuddling and hugging when you're alone, but do expect a few more things.

I was gonna say hand holding in public, especially in crowded places, but you know what? Guiding you by holding the back of your neck is simply easier to him, and a lot more obvious "back off!" to strangers who look at you for far too long.

Also, randomly leaning against you, the two of you may be just walking and suddenly you feel a large mass lightly leaning against your own body, almost making you stumble. you might just be standing in front of the dinner table, reading a recipe book and once again you just feel that familiar presence right behind you, but instead of hugging you from behind he's just there, like he is reading the book along with you.

Remember how you were reading that one recipe book? Well he might give it a try and help you make something in the kitchen just to spend time with you. Like, you're just pouring ingredients in a bowl and he's there "helping" you by wrapping his arm around your waist to give you "emotional support", as he calls it.

He is, in reality, just standing there watching you cook, trying his best to resist the urge to distract you and simply annoy you, because he is still trying to make it seem like he is a mature, grown man, and definitely not one who is eyeing the flour in his reach and thinking about launching a handful of it at you.

You did see his hand slowly reaching for the flour in the corner of your vision. He only stopped once you threatened to scoop out his remaining eye should even a speck of flour hit your face.

Yet, Time is a creative man, flour was only one of his plans.

He's got wandering hands and wandering lips. And he can and will make use of those just to distract you.

And that's how Time became banned from the kitchen when you were the one cooking, only being able to join you for cleaning later.

So yeah, his love language is physical touch, but it is also disturbance.

In that matter, he's not very different from Wind when you two are alone. If you ignore his flirtatious moves, that is. But he's quite different when you two are with the others, especially if you've done, or is doing something to annoy him, then he has to keep up that mature facade of his.

He believes the others won't take him seriously should he reveal his actual personality, so really, when you're around others you'll only get glimpses of it from time to time.

It is mandatory from the Links to be stubborn, but Time takes the cake.

Maybe it is his age, but he will never change his mind, ever. No point in arguing.

So when he is silly, he is silly, but when he is serious he is terrifying, no exaggeration.

The worst part is that older people have a lot of respect in Hyrule, so no matter what he says, his word is law.

Now, don't get me wrong, by now, pet names are just a thing Time always does with you, in a way you barely hear your own name coming from his lips unless he's being really serious about something.

But actual words of affirmation? Not his thing.

He'd much rather be as clingy as glue to you when you're alone.

But, not like Sky's soft, light cuddles. Time Will basically smother you.

Seriously, it may be his sheer muscle mass, but he'll drap himself over you in a way you'll feel yourself surrounded by him.

In fact, the first time he did it you probably almost suffocated.

You'll get used to it eventually, though. Hopefully.

He's pontual and very strict as well, he and Hyrule are probably gonna be bickering in most matters involving you, like, for example, "five more minutes" naps.

Don't even try to trick him, you'll hear stuff like "I was your age once" and shit, the man will act like he's a hundred years old or something.

Then again, he might be, after all, he is older in mind than he is in body.

He was forced to mature quicker and went through a lot of trauma, that, and he also had to go back in time a lot of times.

Now that I think about it, he probably lived for longer than your grandparents. Just saying.

Yandere! Lu! Hyrule x Reader

Don't get him wrong, Hyrule is very much full of love, really. He cares about everyone equally.

Yet, as corny as that is, your name isn't "everyone", you're not anyone, you're you, how could he even think about possibly treating you the same way as he treats everyone else?

You're put on a pedestal, everyone else is treated equally by him, except you, you are treated like you are divine and not mortal like he is.

So you'll feel like a toddler 24/7 around Hyrule, he is not as stubborn as Time, he's just… Persistent.

The other Links will find themselves teasing him for it a lot, even if deep inside they are just the same.

Play nice, walk on the line and you'll have a Hyrule at your beck and call. If you know how to do it right, you will be able to use his babying to your own benefit, because trust me, his persistence can work on the Links much more than yours, after all, they trust him for being another Link.

I feel like he'd also help you keep pets, it may be his fairy nature, but he is just good with animals, especially with forest animals. Be them small or big.

Although he definitely has a soft spot for smaller pets, even more if you're the one asking him to bring along a pet you found.

Surprisingly or not, Hyrule is probably one of the most protective Links if you happen to lean more towards the naive/vulnerable side of the spectrum.

It's a general fairy headcannon of mine, but since fairies take care of forest and the animals there, specially the smaller or more vulnerable types of animals, then it's not new for them to be also quite protective towards humans close to them.

Bonus points if they have those traits.

But then again, you're Hyrule's darling, you may be as strong and independent as a Link yourself, but he'll still see you as in need of his care and attention at all times.

That also may or may not be another reason why Hyrule treats you like a toddler.

So yeah, coddling. Lots of it.

Hyrule is also a fan of small things, trinkets. Natural or shiny... Precious or useless... In his eyes all are treasures.

Treasures you'll find your bags and pockets full of.

He is absolutely a rock, cristal guy.

Imagine, you're just walking to another village, and suddenly Hyrule stops walking for a few moments, just to speed walk towards you again just a bit later, cleaning something he is holding in his hands with the help of his sleeve.

Then he hands you a small, clear rock, grinning.

Better get used to this, it's probably gonna happen at least once every day.

So yeah, love language is gift giving and acts of service.

I feel like he's very awkward with words of affirmation, he didn't spend a lot of time saying or hearing those, after all. Like most of the Links.

[mania-sama]

So, I have ask these questions (ask game) to quite a few people, but most of their unpopular media, at least I know one of them. Except yours (sorry). Can I ask what made you love these 3 media : Child of Light (Video Game), School - Live! (Anime), The Unlisted (TV Show)?

Also, it's okay to be an Oikawa fan (he is also in my top 3 fav Haikyuu characters). And yes, I agree with all you say about him as a character. Though, I pity him a little because in twitter he must be on the same list as any other anime antagonist/villains that are murderer or terrorist or worst 😑😶

Have you finished Haikyuu, Mania-sama? A bit spoiler : he became Argentinian citizen and at the end of manga, his team vs Japanese team (with Kageyama and Hinata). Oh and Iwaizumi became athletic trainer in Japanese team (ironic, right)....

Oh, can I ask what do you think of Oikawa/Ushijima and Oikawa/Kageyama ships?

Some say, Ushijima or Kenma or Miya twins are the best antagonist of Haikyuu. But come on, we know better, right 😆😄? (Along with the majority of Haikyuu fans)....

P.s Do you know why Furudate sensei don't draw Oikawa that many? Because "He is an ikemen (so handsome), that I have to make him look good in every panel (and that is hard)"...😉

hello again!!!

No worries! That's why I listed them - I NEVER set people talk about those three online. EVER. I was not expecting for you to recognize them, or anyone to for that matter!

Child of Light -> Honestly, just an incredibly spectacular game. It takes about ten-twelve hours for a full playthrough without breaks, including side quests and messing with certain crystal combinations for upgrades. It's short, it's simple, it's sweet, but it is just. Beautiful. Very unique, and I haven't quite found a game like this since. One of the stand-out parts of this video game is that it is written entirely in verse. All of the character's sentences and words rhyme, aside from one character, Rubella, a jester, who consistently doesn't say the right word to make the rhyme complete or flow. The introduction of the game is also told in a soothing voice. The vibes are impeccable. Then, not to mention the visuals of this game are in a watercolor art style. It's just... unique and absolutely stunning to look at. The soundtrack is just banger after banger. I strongly encourage everyone to listen to it. Not that you have to intensely focus on the music, but just enjoy the atmosphere it brings. I was actually among the artists' top listeners on Spotify last year, and it was only from listening to the Child of Light soundtrack. The story itself is simple, but that doesn't mean it's not fun or impactful. You play as a little girl who has, well, died from illness, and wakes up on an altar in a "strange, new land" that has fallen to darkness. It is up to you to save the land of Lemuria from monsters and the evil, dark queen. The monsters are really fun to fight and look at (as in, their designs and the way they are drawn are phenomenal). The upgrade system isn't hard to grasp at all, either. You collect characters and help them in their stories. It's a fun, turn-based combat RPG. Everyone should play it, honestly. It's my favorite game. (Oh, yeah, you have a cute sidekick with a quick-wit, too).

School - Live! -> Okay, this anime isn't as phenomenal as Child of Light, but it sticks out in my mind anyway for the way it masterfully portrayed the world it's set in. It's about a group of girls who have a club at their school where they essentially live together at the school. Seems kind of odd, but they are happy with it and enjoy being each other's friends. Well. Turns out the main character is very, very delusional while trying to cope with the world around her. And the world around here is trapped in a zombie apocalypse. It's intriguing to me how her friends try to preserve her delusions (obviously a coping mechanism that I love seeing portrayed in media) while also keeping themselves alive. The narrative bounces back and forth between the main character's delusional reality where everything is normal to the bloody classrooms, reeking dead bodies, and boarded windows. The characters are all flawed individuals who, while being able to deal with the apocalypse, still struggle and flounder and yell and scream. It's just absolute whiplash tilting between these two realities, and it's done very well. Also, the intro song is a banger.

The Unlisted -> This TV show has more similarities to School - Live!, than it does to Child of Light, but is still pretty unique. It's about this organization that brings dental health to students in Australia, but in reality, they are chipping students in the mouth with trackers that can, essentially, brainwash and mind control the kids into mindless machines. The trackers also increase their strength and dexterity (I don't know how it works; some suspension of disbelief is required to enjoy this). The main characters, two twin brothers, find out what's going on in their school after one of the twins purposefully goes into the "dental checkup" twice in place of his brother. The main characters then find out about the existence of a group of runaway kids who are being tracked by the organization because they are all "Unlisted" - kids who were meant to be chipped, but somehow escaped - and conspire to both help the kids and inform the world about the truth of the organization. It's VERY entertaining. I fell in love with the characters and their relationships. The acting is... rough, especially in the beginning, but you get through it for the plot I swear. All of it pretty much hits my fancy; runaway kids, trauma and injury, mind control, funny banter, and family. I just. Really like it. And everyday I think: wow, what a shame this never got a second season. Because it is good and I love it :(. I've attempted to write this as an AU multiple times for different fandoms, but I never succeeded. Who knows, maybe one day I will.

Anyway, Oikawa being "the most evil anime villain" jokes will never not be funny to me. He is just so easy to pick on. I did see recently on Tiktok a video where they said off-handedly and in seriousness that Oikawa and Dazai Osamu from Bungou Stray Dogs were very similar, and I had to do a double-take. No. They are not similar. Not in the slightest. One has conspired to murder/has murdered HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE and is a LUNATIC. The other is a high schooler who plays fucking volleyball. Can we NOT. (It is really, really funny though. I hope the Internet never changes.)

I've considered rewatching the anime because of my recent sudden and violent re-hyperfixation, but I don't know if I'll ever get around to it. I have never actually read the manga for Haikyuu, but I do know about the time skip and how it ends. In fact, I've been writing a fanfiction about the IwaOi during the Japanese vs Argentina 2021 Olympic gold match (not rooted in reality, where Argentina received bronze and Japan came seventh in the actual 2020 Olympics). I hope to release it sometime soon. It's... interesting, I suppose. I'm up to my usual bullshit, and "usual bullshit" means that one character gets unreasonably hurt in some way. It brings me unparalleled happiness.

As far as OiUshi and OiKage, they aren't my favorite but I can certainly see the appeal. OiUshi less so - I think they have negative chemistry, but the idea of them being together is funny enough to be enjoyable for me. I have read one or two drabbles of them before. OiKage is a rather controversial ship, which I understand. I don't think it works well when they are high schoolers at all, but the idea of something shifting in their adulthood is a fascinating concept. I don't mind it, honestly. It would show a lot of character growth between the two characters both individually and together.

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 30 - thoughts.

Hello everyone!! Here we are… back again… with more notes! The behind-the-scenes, what makes me tick… or not lol.

As always, I do not recommend reading this before reading chapter 30, which you can find right over here in ao3!

Thus, these notes contain SPOILERS.

Now, without any further ado, let’s get into the details 😏

I posted this small spoiler a while ago:

and as foretold, here is a callback of that infamous chapter 12 lol. Even the “Let’s get something to eat” is worded exactly as Naoya did because I wanted to show this is some heavy case of déjà vu, even though it’s not under the same sentiment. As well as to scare y’all with the thousands of possibilities that could lead to the same results as before

Anyways, moving on 😳

Y/N doesn’t want to be there, outside of the necessary, just how Naoya was during the first time they went to the doctor, and Naoya wants to be there, and not because he is eager to learn about Y/N’s condition (although, deep inside him… very, very deep inside, he is, mostly out of his curiosity/ignorance) but rather because he wants to be with her and rekindle what they never had.

I know many were expecting something to happen between the two at this point, specifically in the communication department 😂 but let’s be real hahah Y/N is uninterested In anything that has to do with Naoyaaaa she doesn’t care, she doesn’t bother, and more specifically, she doesn’t want to interact with him (queue a song from the group I now realized most of their songs fit the story perfectly, coincidentally, my favorite one)

Their whole interaction was… hard to write down, and I guess it makes sense because it’s supposed to be frustrating, it’s supposed to be awkward. Show that their relationship is broken (beyond repair?) and everyone can see that 😅 Can you imagine seeing them at a distance and their issues are like so obvious that you're just like

The people helping them throughout they visit must've been like "uuhhh, should we leave?"

Naoya wanting to talk to Y/N was somewhat… pathetic at one point. I felt sorry for him but hey, as I said before, play stupid games win stupid prizes.

He tries to have conversations but he’s just acting… I don’t know how to say it, blindly? Delusional? Like he doesn’t get why she is being so cold towards him without bringing Naoaki—and that’s another thing that even bothered me lol Naoya is very self-conscious, his self esteem is on the ground, if not lower, he literally can’t stop thinking about his brother and his wife and wondering just what kind of things they’d do together 😂 like, I get it but come on!!! (more than I would like to admit 😭)

He's nowhere near understanding what is actually the real cause of his broken relationship, but as they continue to interact (kind of) with one another… maybe he will. Or not. That’s the interesting part that I’m looking forward to explore hehe. If there’s any redemption on Naoya’s part, is not going to be easy, and certainly I don’t think Y/N is willing to accept it right now (or at all) anyways.

I wonder how can he be redeemed? What will it take for him to finally open his eyes?

Now, moving forward to the whole medical thing.

Naoya and Y/N going to certain doctors prior the main consultation was definitely Ranta’s plan. It was something of “You need to reaffirm Y/N’s health beyond any reasonably doubt, is there anything you can do to do that?”

“The doctor did say something about getting examinations…”

And there you have it. Naoya made the call, scheduled the exams, and took Y/N. But I’m not going to say that he didn’t take her before because he forgot, in between work and having the general understanding that her issue was going to be fixed by just “waiting it out” he just… well, Naoya didn’t care about doing anything until it was beneficial for him, since he’s the kind of person to underestimate women’s health and the issues they could have. Let’s not forget he was forged in a misogynistic household so... 😭

Also, I’m not sure if there are certain labs that process your results in matter of hours lol since the earliest I’ve seen is… aa few hours, later that day if you’re there as soon as they open, but who knows?? Money makes the world go round haha. I actually had to go to the doctor a few weeks prior so everything was fresh 😎 I hope that even when time was overlooked, the rest was accurate 😂

From there, Y/N.

Y/N is… healthy. As healthy as she can be. Hormonally I think that’s a bit difficult to find out (and considering that Naoya was doing everything quickly, as well as the doctor and the Zen’in clan not interested in giving her “treatment” for it…) which is why the doctor was a bit curt when it comes to responding Naoya’s question. As well as trying to fill out another agenda.

It’s just putting Y/N in a stickier situation, but at the same time, gives her more time to stay away from Naoya, and get rescued by Hinata on the process. Had the doctor said she was fertile by some reason… ugh. Nope. Or not, because Naobito also gave them a timeline to act if their marriage was to continue, or in Y/N’s case, her life. (Please don’t ask me about times hahahahahah)

However you look at it, they're on the short end of the stick. Y/N is just in the shorter end. (Naoya consoling himself with the fact that at least she won't be with Naoaki in one of those alternatives is nasty. get rid of him, please)

I guess we could say that it would make sense Y/N was healthy. She’s taken the medication the doctor prescribed her, as well as stopped taking anything that might alter her hormonal profile or whatever. And in the sense of her wounds, she’s abstained from doing anything that might worsen that situation, thus, she healed rather quickly… let’s say that her health predicament is a combination of a rather healthy disposition, and well, maybe something having to do with her impressive ascendancy 👀?

We all knew that, however, the doctor and Naoya didn’t and I find it atrocious how they’re scrutinizing her for it.

Writing how Naoya was there while the ultrasound was being performed on Y/N JUST TO SEE IF HE WOULD FIND A FETUS OMG that was super infuriating and demeaning. I was just… UGH instead of wondering if she was ok, if there was a way to support her, Mr. Delusion was thinking about Naoaki and his wife!!! Kajgakgkajghkajgvhjka AND THE WAY THAT HE LISTENED CLOSELY TO THE DOCTOR’S INSTIGATION TO SEE IF SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH??? ah, isn’t he a wonderful husband?!

I think that Naoya might’ve kept this a secret from Ranta since he knows he wouldn’t approve of him taking this moment to also check if something had occurred between the two.

Although I presume Ranta already knew his best friend was going to do something like that (Hence the BE GENTLE NAOYA instead—as to make up for the errors he absolutely knew he was going to commit lol) Ranta really is the voice of reason in this situation, yet, wrongly motivated.

And if Naoya is somewhat trying to become… “better” (due to RANTA’S SUGGESTION) he still has a loooong way to go. Hm.

Finally, the doctor :>

Ok so, we already knew he was a terrible, unprofessional man from the last time we visited him, but this was just in a whole ‘nother level. And all because he was previously informed by Naobito himself!!! Even as awful as that really is in the story, I loved writing it because I like tormenting my characters hahah it's a way to ground, remind them of the the fact that even if they were away (feeling somewhat safe) he’s still closely watching.

I’m sure Ranta warned Naoya about it, and Mariya might've considered it, but it was one of those things that they'll have to deal with, even if it’s risky 😅 because both are still getting something beneficial out of it, even if it's the bare minimum.

The instigation on his part, however, although ignited by Naobito… I don’t think it was intended to go as far as it did (He’s still a mere mortal compared to the Zen’in haha so he might get fired from it) but that didn’t stop him. Naobito was pretty clear with what he wanted, to remind them of what's at stake and to stop playing those "stupid games" of getting along with one another and just do what's expected 😳

His words were designed to light a fire under Naoya's ass and stop moping around the estate. Hence, the constant reminder of Y/N's possible infidelity.

And he didn't stop there, he also slandered his close relatives lol it was a combination of "your brother's are worthless, and yet, look at one of them, getting all cozy with your wife :^)"

I would've loved to see him bring Toji into the conversation—I bet Naoya would've jumped to defend him 🙄

Y/N being compared to Tomoko by being “difficult” was foul for both women. Tomoko had a rough set of pregnancies because of Naobito’s obsession with getting a powerful heir that will help him secure the position of leader of the clan. (can't wait to develop her a bit more 😏)

The husbands in the equation are putting their respective wife’s health in a critical condition, and they don’t even realize it… wow. Is this man even passionate about his career? Why did he even choose something like that if he was not going to help them, or at least call them out?

Money, I guess.

But circling back to Naobito’s intervention, it makes me wonder just how far have the rumors of the situation going on between Naoya and Y/N have spread. I doubt the Zen’in are ones to reveal their issues to other clans (at least intentionally) but it kind of reminds me of the situation with the Kamo clan and Noritoshi’s mother.

The L/N knew of it because they were a close relative of hers, as well as being there to receive her when she was eventually cast aside. However, it’s been stated that the Zen’in are particularly… secretive towards Y/N’s family due to something Naoya might’ve or might’ve not done. So at least, we know they don’t know (and care).

As for the rest of the clans, I’m sure the elders have gossiped more than they should’ve (or maybe even the staff) and some words have reached the ears of the Gojo clan whom more likely than not, have people sneakily hidden inside the ranks of the Zen’in staff in hopes of getting something that might benefit them lol.

At the end of the day, this whole chapter was a callback to that infamous doctor visit, and see… what has changed so far. Naoya and Y/N are completely different people from back then, and we’ll see it on the following chapters!

There’s going to be more call backs, (yellow… yukata…) as well as exploring a bit more of loreeeeee!!!! I’m so excited to write these chapters as the story progresses, and overall, just see where the characters take us!!

Gjklagjkahgjka Thank you so much for your patience!! I hope you continue enjoying and supporting the rest of the story!! Take care, and hope to see you soon!.

P.S. These are just the most important parts that I remember as highly influential for writing the chapter, but if there’s something that you’d like to see further explained just send me an ask and I’ll be more than happy to respond!!  ❤  (At the best of my spoiler-free ability, of course)

P.S. 2: I’m going on a break after the following chapter because I’m going on a cruise!! It’s so…. Exciting… 😭 I’m looking forward to it. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get some inspiration out of it hehehehehehheeh

[kiaroscuro]

Warnings: descriptions of violence, major character death

Rating: Mature

Main Pairing: Ren Amamiya / Arsene

Main Tags: post-canon, zombie au, angst, hurt / comfort, road trips

Warning:

· · ─────── =^.^= ─────── · ·

After a raid of a hardware store or three, they manage to hotwire the portable radio with a better battery and start tuning in on the 13.8 MHz frequency. They manage to connect by the 28th, the staticky voice over the line clearing into Akane's expectant one.

>>Ren! Finally, I was getting worried--<< she cries, and Ren releases a held breath. >>Did everything work out?<<

"Yeah," Ren says, huddled close to Arsene's side. The persona's wing was draped over his side, and they were sitting on the wired-off balcony, hot tea in hand. "The battery should work now. How are you, Akane?"

>>We're good, we're good. Cassandra is awesome, and my predictions have become much better than before -- she's still too weak to constantly materialize, but you said that was normal...?<<

"Oui; it will take some time. The presence of the world makes materializing difficult until ye get used to the feeling. Give her some more time." Arsene agrees, and they talk around niceties and well-wishes in a careful way, as if neither wants to really broach any deeper topics. Arsene's shadow friends apparently settled in nicely, the alice and bugbear pretty good healers, and one of the shogun decided to join Zenkichi on his outdoor-adventures while the other and the nekomata joined the kitchen staff. Akane's trusty shiisha guard had sprained an ankle and was resting, and she was vastly unimpressed by its replacement. Kasumi, Sumire and Cendrillon were settling in slowly as well, though Sumire was rather sickly and weak, and Ren grimaced, the aftertaste of bless forever burned into his mind by now. Kasumi started to tag along with Zenkichi as well, as Akane told him, and had started up a hoard of different soda's Cassandra could identify the effects of as being against brainwashing and forget.

He can't fault her.

>>Dad wants to raid Nagoya's settlement at the beginning of spring,<< Akane whispered lowly. Ren's breath hitches, and Arsene's wing winds closer around his form. >>He said-- he said that destabilizing the council now would be too dangerous because of the winter. What... what happened in Nagoya, Ren?<<

"...do me a favor, Akane, and don't get close to Takuto Maruki, under any circumstances." Ren said, voice low as well, dire. "And keep the Yoshizawas away from him. That man is... delusional, and dangerous."

A shuddery intake of breath. >>Got it. Anyways, I'm not hearing any music on your end, is it too early for your band to play? Or was it a Christmas thing? It had sounded nice.<<

The change in topic was kind of forceful, and suddenly Ren almost wished that Akane would stayed on the topic of Nagoya. "I, that. Akane, there's no... it's just me and Arsene," Ren finishes with, softly.

There's silence on the line.

>>...what?<< Akane asks, voice wobbly. >>But, but-- you're in a city! You've got to be part of a settlement or a group or something! You can't just... be all on your... own...<<

The mademoiselle sounds close to crying, Arsene remarks, silently.

"It's possible that there's more people hiding, but it's just us. We found a hotel and got a room with gas, and we raided a music store for a phonogram a few weeks ago. Ever since Nagoya, it's just been us." Ren says, softly.

"And we're okay," Arsene adds, when Akane stays silent. The line goes dead, and Ren wonders if that would be it for today, when static buzzes and someone else taps into their connection.

>>Sorry, sorry, Akane's not... she doesn't do well with being alone,<< Zenkichi's voice says, kind of scratchy.

Ren laughs, hollow. "Can't say I fault her for it. Apparently I don't do well with being alone either." He huffs. Arsene's thrumming in worry.

>>Nagoya's not your fault, kid. And neither is it the Yoshizawas'.<< Zenkichi says, because apparently he's psychic nowadays. His voice clears a little. >>It's only you two, then?<<

"Us and the many infected, thought we think that there's at least one more person or group in the east." Arsene agrees.

>>You're not too fond of figuring out if they're friends or foe, eh? Can't say I fault you for it. You at least got a good setup?<<

"High altitude with a barricaded door, weapons close by, gas and batteries. We're self-sufficient in the building except for a weekly grocery run. There's a hot spring nearby. And we got music." Ren adds, and Zenkichi whistles, low.

>>Sounds like a cozy little lair. You know, I had been uncertain if you'd actually make it to Tokyo, but by this point I think you're probably the best chance we have of findig possible authorities to help.<<

...what?

"What?" Ren asks, not liking the sound of it.

Zenkichi sighs, weary. >>I told you I was secret police, before? That makes me slightly more prepared for such a situation than others, and right now the most important thing is to actually set up communication across the country again. By radio would be preferable, but runners or-- fliers would also do it. I have no idea what happened to the radio network, or the internet, but as soon as we got it up and running again, the sooner we can deal with people like Maruki. Who knows how many settlements or survivors in general have been drawn into such a situation? I hadn't wanted to burden you with it before, because frankly you're not a trained officer or even twenty yet, but.<< He pauses. >>You got out of Nagoya, and you're well on your way to Tokyo, and Arsene managed to hotwire a portable radio unit, so.<<

Ren's silent for a moment. "...so you want us to what, continue being a runner from one city to the next?" His voice cracks, because -- because--

>>No! I want you to get to Tokyo and establish a network if your portable unit still works, and I want you to find officers and tell them of my plan! God, Ren, I'm not going to send you out to your possible death when I know that you only started that journey to get to Tokyo.<<

The sudden panic that had gripped him starts to subside, and Ren takes a deep breath. Arsene is the one to answer: "We can do that. Any possible names?"

Tokyo MP's First Division is their answer, specifically a man named Megure or anyone from his office. Zenkichi'd worked with them once before, apparently, and they were the cleanest cops he knew about. Ren reluctantly agreed without any guarantees, and then their talk shifted to other topics again, until it circled back to Nagoya. Ren both didn't want to and had to know --

"So Takuto's still leading the settlement?"

>>I'm sorry. Yes; removing him now would destabilize all of the people, and we can't afford to do so in the middle of winder. I heard about ... a lot of what he's done from the Yoshizawas, but is there... anything... you need to add? He will face justice as soon as the snow melts. I'll look into it personally, but. Uh.<<

Ren somehow manages to laugh, even if it's a short, sharp thing, but listening to Zenkichi bumble about like that was nice, to hear the concern and the thinly-veiled anger. Even if he doesn't think so, that man is a good father, Arsene says in their mind, claws drawing patterns into Ren's knee to calm the both of them down. Ren shifts around, leaning more fully against his persona, the radio held between them. Zenkichi lets him think in silence, before Ren closes his eyes. There's a lot of things he'd want Takuto Maruki to stand trial for, though he can imagine what Kasumi would've told the officer in her somewhat-blunt manner. "...the settlement cannibalized shadows," is what Ren ends up whispering. "I dunno if the 'Sumis already told you that, but. Um. Shadow flesh seems to be imbued with elemental essence, and it's... addicting to people. It's--" the eligor, desperately attacking Ren.

"Takuto uses the 'meat' with his mutated-plant vitamins to keep the settlement under his well-meaning control ...people will show withdrawal symptoms."

Ren can hear a shuttered breath across the radio, a thing of static. >>That's... Jesus. Hearing it a second time doesn't make it easier. It also... it also did something to you persona users, right?<<

Ren hums. "The vitamins have a... forget ailment effect; it literally made me forget that Arsene's... you forget how to summon a persona. But that's not-- there's half-feral shadows stalking around the settlement in Nagoya. They deserve to know what happened to their friends and family. They're scared of Takuto, but." He falls silent again, huddling even closer into Arsene's side, the memories haunting. After he doesn't speak for a while, Zenkichi sighs.

>>I'll look into what I can do, kid. You stay safe over there, yeah? Big guy--<< Arsene snorts, >>look after him, yeah? We'll talk again tomorrow, and I'll try to get my hands on the others so that you can also talk with them.<<

Ren agrees before the line falls dead, and he sighs, bone-weary. "...I just want it to be over," he says, not elaborating. Arsene thrums, lowly. I know. It will be, dear.

But when, is the question.

--

The next few days pass in a maudlin mood, until it is New Years and Arsene tugs Ren towards the shrine they'd entered the city from, basket in hand and both of them dressed in approximations of formalwear the persona had insisted on them wearing. Ren hadn't resisted, let himself be led to the shrine in something close to amusement after they'd bid goodbye to the nekomata and Sumire for the day, the radio left in their home.

They come to a halt before the torii gates, the red looking like blood between the white of the snow and the pink of the dawning sky. "I remember you talking about wishing on a good year at the shrines last year, before Yaldabaoth happened." Arsene admits, once they'd arrived. The persona is soft, inquisitive. "That hadn't quite worked out last year, but maybe now..." he trails off, and Ren blinks, surprised. He knows Arsene's interested in culture as a whole -- more so European than anything other -- but he's not expected that the persona would tug Ren to a shrine visit in the middle of an apocalypse for--

oh. Ren's expression softens. "I can walk you through the steps, though it's been a while since I've done this properly," he says, and Arsene churrs in delight. They spend the morning praying and reading fortune, have a nice lunch back inside the grounds where their fire pit sits undisturbed, and then hang prayers for their future up before leaving with the approaching twilight.

It's the best New Years Ren's had for a while.

First << >> Next

[harryspet]

cement walls | bucky barnes

[Warnings] dark!bucky barnes x reader, non/dubcon sex, fingering, kidnapping, forced pregnancy, confined spaces, Stockholm syndrome(?), post-blip bucky, bucky needs some therapy, forced gender roles

[A/N] uhm so this is what i’ve been working on and like usual i have no idea where i wanna take it :):) i haven’t posted in a long while so i figured i would put this out there for some feedback! this is pretty much inspired by Room if you’ve seen that movie. [gif credit to https://jamesbrnes.tumblr.com/]

In which the outside world is too dangerous for you and Bucky is the only one who can protect you. 

taglist: @cherienymphe @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011 @visintaes  @watercoolerpaint @disaster-rose @slutforsebstan​ @doozywoozy​

main masterlist

word count: 3.3k

Within the cement walls that surrounded your home, you imagined that you had your own little planet. You spent hours of your days thinking about what surrounded you, if there were floating rings like Saturn had, the constellations you could make out only if you could only see the entire sky, and how the sun would really feel on your bare skin. You were beginning to forget what that felt like and you sat below the skylight trying to reach into your mind and remember.

Maybe you should be grateful that there was even a skylight at all and that there was enough room for a small kitchen and bathroom. You imagined that's what he thought. You could move around freely with no chains so you should be grateful. Almost three-hundred square feet of your new planet that you should be glad to have. Except you didn’t even own the ground you stood on, this planet wasn’t really yours, you were just an astronaut trapped in space. 

That morning, you scrubbed the floors, not only because the military man preferred organization but also because the small space got dirty quickly. After taking your vitamins, extra Vitamin D of course, and munching on a stale granola bar, you got to work. You made the twin bed up, making sure the sheets were tucked in tightly before organizing the small amount of clothes in the wardrobe. 

When you heard the beeping of the keypad outside the door, you stood up, shutting the wardrobe. You weren’t expecting him, not having gotten to the kitchen yet, but alas your moon man appeared. You couldn’t help it, you always looked past him to see what you could have of the outside world. You saw nothing, his figure was only surrounded in darkness as he shut it quickly, and it beeped as the metal door locked again. 

It was like he liked the idea of you not knowing where you were. He’d brought you into this room unconscious so you had no idea whether you were still in Louisiana or not. For all you knew, you could be floating in space and it wouldn’t matter. 

The tall man’s hair was cut short, like he’d just gotten a haircut, and you hated that the room was already beginning to smell like his cologne. He held a brown bag of what you assumed were groceries, “You haven’t been here in more than two weeks. I’ve been cleaning my clothes in the sink. I started rationing food t-thinking you weren’t going to come back.”

He set the bag down on the small kitchen table and you watched his eyes roam over the dirty dishes, “I wouldn’t leave you here, doll face,” Bucky assured you, “C’mere.” He waved you over and you stepped forward cautiously. 

“W-Where did you go?”

He reached up to hold your face, the leather brushing against your cheeks as he looked you over. You wore a green smock dress with a cardigan tightly over you, the box having been cold the past few days, “I had business. Far away business.”

“You’ve never been gone this long.”

“Did you miss me that much?” You wanted to roll your eyes. If Bucky didn’t come back, you’d die in probably the worst way possible and no one would know what happened to you, “I brought you back plenty of groceries, I even got you some oreos and that fancy bread you like.”

“Bucky …. I-I was so so scared. You don’t understand-” He leaned down to kiss you and when your lips didn’t move against his, he grabbed you roughly by your hair. You held in your yelp as you forced your lips to move against his. He held your hips, deepening the kiss and when he pulled away, his hands were still in your hair. 

“I’m here now, “ He looked at you sharply, tugging your hair a bit, “But it seems you can’t keep the kitchen clean, no matter how much time I give you.”

“I’m sorry,” You apologized, the words slipping out before you could even register them. 

He gestured his head over to the sink, “Get to it. And the groceries as well.” 

You moved past him, turning on the warm water before grabbing a sponge. You felt his eyes on your back as you began to clean all the pots and pans you’d been using. You heard the rattling of his belt, his jeans being pulled down, the sound of his boots being stacked to the side, and the grunt he let out when he tossed his jacket over the kitchen chair. 

When you placed everything in the drying rack, you moved onto the bag of groceries. He had gotten the bread you liked so you had something to look forward to that week, “I had to see that lady again.”

“You mean your therapist?”

“It’s court mandated bullshit,” You looked over and he was examining your desk and bookshelf. All the books you had were given to you by him and all the decorations were paper origami that you’d gotten good at making. 

“What did you guys talk about?” You asked hesitantly, putting things away in the cabinet. 

“She thinks I need more friends, more social interactions I suppose but that’s what she says every week,” You heard your bed creak as he sat down, “Hey, make me a cup of coffee, doll.”

“Oh,” It was clear that whatever that therapist was doing, wasn’t work, the biggest piece of evidence being the girl he was holding captive right now. You moved over to the coffee pot, pouring what was left into his favorite mug, “Do you … ever talk about me?”

You could feel his body stiffen even from across the room. 

“Why would I?” When you turned around, his eyebrows were furrowed, his hands on his knees. 

You crossed the small room with the cup in hand, “Well, you interact with me. I’m like your friend, right?” You handed him the drink, standing back as you watched him take a sip, hoping he’d be satisfied with it. 

“You know why I can’t tell her about you, Y/N.”

You shook your head, “Yeah, I was just thinking … “ You sat down a few feet away from him, “Does anyone else know about me?”

“You’re curious today.”

“It’s not like I have much entertainment in here,” You said a little more snarky than you intended. You felt his mechanical arm push into the mattress beside you as he turned his head, “Sorry … when do you think I’ll get to leave the room? Not outside, just out of the room. Maybe to where you sleep at night.”

“If you’re going to be like this today-”

“Forget I said anything,” You smiled weakly, “Please.”

Bucky set down his cup on the small nightstand before he urged you closer. You scooted closer and he gently pushed your head down until it was resting in his lap. You felt his cold hand through your sweater and the other through your hair, “I know what it’s like … feeling trapped,” You pulled your feet onto the bed and he continued to stroke your hair and you welcomed the comforting touch. 

“Then why …”

He shushed you, “Mind over matter, Y/N. It’s all about training your mind to adjust. You’re safer here, you’re taken care of here, and your mind is still trying to convince you that you don’t belong here.”

“I wouldn’t try to escape if I could just stay with you…”

He shushed you again, “I spent decades frozen and then, after that, I was trapped in my own mind. Now everyone’s trying to convince me that I have this new chance to survive in the world. They genuinely think of this new century as being so amazing, so much technology, and opportunities but it’s a lie, Y/N. This world is nothing but danger and death. You’re much better without it.”

You felt a tear roll down your cheeks. You felt like the chains around you were only getting heavier. He was so delusional that you thought it would be easier to start believing him, “Please don’t leave for that long again.”

Bucky sighed, “I’ll stay here for the night. How does that sound?”

You hiccuped, “T-Thank you.”

Later that night, you were lying beside bucky in the small bed. He was fast asleep but you were wide awake, looking up at the skylight. The full moon was lighting up the room. Carefully, you tossed your feet over the bed, doing your best not to disturb the soldier. You got onto the floor, crawling towards the carpet in the middle of the room. Oftentimes, when you couldn’t sleep, you’d lay down and stare up at the moon. 

You stayed like that for lord knows how long, drifting into a place where all your thoughts were silent. 

“What are you doing?” You sat up quickly, your heart racing as his gruff voice snapped you from your trance. 

He was shirtless, standing above you, and rubbing his tired eyes. You simply pointed up, “The moon.”

“Get back in bed,” He commanded groggily. 

You scooted over slightly, “I can’t sleep ... just come look with me. It’s beautiful.”

“You act like you’ve never seen the fucking moon before, Y/N,” His frustration caught you off guard as he reached down to grab you by your arm. You didn’t mean to but, on instinct, you flinched away. That only led him to grabbing your harder, and you stumbled as he pulled you up, “Get in the bed. You scare me to death when I wake up and can’t feel you.”

“If you care so much then why do you leave me in here for weeks on end.”

His eyes flickered with hurt for a moment, “I won’t … ever again. You need far too much discipline for me to let you be on your own for so long.” You rolled your eyes as you turned away, walking towards the bed. 

He grabbed you roughly by your waist, pushing you onto the bed. He pushed you further into the mattress, his hand on the back on your neck, and you were reminded just how cruel he could be. There was a point months ago when you stopped fighting it, knowing in the end he would overpower you, but sometimes your spark appeared. 

He lifted your nightgown easily, knowing he wouldn’t find any underwear to tear off, and his hand cupped between your legs. As you struggled beneath him, he felt you, rubbing and running his fingers over your lips, “Me being deep inside you seems to correct your mood. Is that what you need from me, doll face?”

Your spark appeared and went quickly, knowing he could feel your wetness, giving him the permission to sink two of fingers inside you. He moved slow, his knees pressed deep into the bed, as he watched your lips part with a gasp. 

“That’s it …”

This was his favorite, knowing he could get you off with just his fingers, his fingers curling against your most sensitive areas. He fastened his pace, pushing in and out of you as you lay there bent over. Knowing you were nearing an orgasm you were sure not to run away from, he moved his vibranium arm from your neck and underneath you where he stimulated your sensitive bud. 

“That’s my girl,” He coaxed you as he sent you into a shaking fit, “You finish so well on my fingers, so beautifully.” You came hard, Bucky enjoying the vulnerable view of your face. As he let you go, you pushed down your gown and laid down on your side. The bed dipped as he took a seat, rubbing your thighs as the post-orgasm regret filled you. 

“You ever think you have some control over me, I want you to remember this.”

8 months later … 

You flipped through the channels six channels that the old television would provide. The soldier thought buying you one would decrease your book intake which he was struggling to keep up with as you read several per week. He wasn’t a fan of technology but the two of you had a long argument about it and he eventually caved. 

You weren’t sure if he knew but the TV picked up a local news channel and you got a glimpse into what the world had been like over the past year. Every now and then, there’d be a mention of Sam Wilson and you figured that’s who he was disappearing with when he was gone for weeks at a time. 

As you neared closer and closer to your due date, he’d grown nicer than usual, though the way he’d gotten you pregnant wasn’t pleasant at all. “You complain so much about being lonely.” He had said when you’d missed your period, “This is what you wanted, right?” 

You weren’t sure if you were just nauseous from the pregnancy or if the idea of raising a baby in that room was making you sick to your stomach. Sometimes you caught yourself being selfish, thinking about having someone to take care of and take up your time. Having someone who could love you properly, in a way that Bucky didn’t quite understand. 

“How’s my girl? And how’s my mini me?” Bucky was an abnormally good move when he came down to visit you that night. He was carrying magazines in his hand and you crossed the room, curious to see the details, “I thought you might want to look at nursery stuff.”

“There’s gonna be a nursery,” Your lips pulled into a smile, “Where?”

“Here,” He gestured around and your smile fell, “You can’t be too far from the little tike. I was thinking we could put the crib where your desk is.”

You took the magazines from him, resting them on your protruding stomach, “Oh …” You tried not to sound sad, “You don’t think that maybe the space is too small? I mean, a mom and baby and sometimes you, that’s a lot of people for one room. And when they get older ….” You imagined having a happy little baby but you tried not to think about your child growing up in a box. 

“When he gets older, we’ll think about it then,” He stated, already gendering the baby without any actual knowledge. He refused to let you see a doctor, only brought you prenatal vitamins, expecting that you’d have a smooth delivery right here in the room, “For now, it’s plenty of room.”

You nodded, “When he gets older, will you take him outside the room? Kids need space to play and get fresh air.”

“I’ll think about it, Y/N,” Bucky’s lips pressed into a thin line. 

You didn’t want to push the issue further, not wanting to spoil his mood, “I think a light green will be a good, neutral color for everything. Maybe we can decorate his side of the room.”

He smiled, “Whatever you’d like, doll face.”

You crossed the room, setting the magazines down on your desk, and a scary idea crossed your mind. A scary idea and chance you might just have to take if it meant you could get help. You were getting nowhere screaming at the top of your lungs, hoping for someone to hear you, and asking Bucky over and over again just to let you have fresh air. He was suffocatingly protective and that didn’t seem like it was gonna change. You couldn’t let him do that to your child. 

You made dinner and he slept over that night, his vibranium hand holding your waist the entire night. 

You planned to catch him off guard the next morning, figuring you’d have the best chance of causing a panic while he was still tired. You got up, whispering that you had to use the restroom, and you slipped inside the room. You read somewhere that only a fourth cup of water comes out when your water breaks, so you fill a cup before drenching your underwear, legs and the bathroom floor. 

“Bucky!” You shouted, making sure you looked scared in the mirror, “Bucky!”

The door almost flew off its hinges as the soldier went into full alert. His eyes were wide, examining you, “What-What happened?”

“I-I think my water broke,” A tear slipped down your cheek. 

“It’s too early,” He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair, “A-Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. All the books say it's a gushing feeling and that was definitely gushing.”

“Maybe we should wait … we can wait and see if contractions start-”

You shook your head furiously, cautiously stepping forward, “We have to see a Doctor. W-We have to … contractions are supposed to start before my water breaks a-and I’m only 29 weeks. I can’t have the baby naturally.”

“But-”

“We have to! Please, Bucky, a-all I care about is the baby. Please, I don’t want to lose them. Please don’t make me-”

“Okay, okay,” He nodded, grabbing your face as he wiped your tears, “Uhm …. let's get dressed. There’s a thirty minute drive to the hospital,” You nodded and his eyes narrowed at you, “This is for the baby, remember that. You pull anything and-”

“I know,” You placed your hand over your stomach, pulling away from his grasp. 

Your body was heavy when he led you out of that room. You felt your reality shifting as you entered the world again. What surprised you most was how normal the rest of the home was, not particularly homey, but it was nice and spacious. There was even a full front yard and, sadly, you imagined the happy family that could have lived here. You half-expected him to have a wife and kids that he was hiding you from. 

Now, sitting in the hospital bed, you watched him paced around, not paying attention to what the Doctor was saying. 

“So she’s not in labor? She felt her water breaking.”

“No, Sir. Based on the ultrasound, the amniotic fluid levels are normal. I’m not sure what happened, could be a multitude of things, but it was most likely a false alarm. But don’t worry, it happens all the time. And your baby looks very healthy.”

You opened your mouth to say something but Bucky’s eyes narrowed at you, a warning. 

“Okay, thank you, Doc.”

“Do you two have a primary obstetrician? One isn’t listed-”

“Are we free to leave?”

The Doctor took another look at you, as if he was trying to understand our relationship, but if he noticed anything, he didn’t say it, “Yes, you’re free to go. I would just make sure to keep a sharp eye out and give your obstetrician a call if you have a question-”

“Of course, thanks, Doc,” Bucky nodded as he forced a smile. With his dark jacket and black gloves, it was hard for him not to look intimidating. 

The Doctor looked down at you with a warm smile, “Let me know if you need anything, ma’am.”

Say something. 

Say something. 

If you were going to say something, this would be the time. Why did Bucky have such a hold on you even outside of the room?

As soon as the Doctor left the room, Bucky turned away, frustratedly packing up your bag, “Get up, get dressed, let’s go.”

“Bucky, I really did think-”

“If you don’t want someone in this hospital to get hurt, I’d get dressed and keep your mouth shut.”

You moved your legs to the side, real tears beginning to fall down your face, as you struggled to get your dress on. Bucky noticed your sniffling from the corner of his eye. He moved towards you, kneeling down beside the bed, “Hey, I’m sorry …. I’m just stressed out. I don’t like you being here ... but everything is going to be okay. Our baby is perfectly healthy and we’ll be home soon. There will be no more interruptions after this.”

You couldn’t even bring yourself to nod in agreement knowing that your own opinion didn’t matter. Bucky was god, enforcing his will on you, and claiming he knew best. You felt so small in comparison to him but there had to be something left within you that could keep fighting, that could keep you from going willingly back into that room-

“Y/N?”

You perked up, “Yes?”

“C’mon doll face, let’s go home.”

hope you enjoyed! not sure where i want to take this so feedback will be much appreciated!

[kimvvantae]

puzzle; 8 (FINAL)

➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex

rating: 18+

word count: 16k

A/N: finally the last chapter! i am actually feeling very emotional right now. i enjoyed writing puzzle so much and it received so much love since the beginning! your feedback always kept me motivated to write. thank you so much to everyone that followed these two dorks and waited patiently for every update. i hope we can meet again in future works! 

hmmm, a little rec?? but i listened to sweet night by taehyung as i wrote this chapter. maybe listening to it will enhance your experience too!

enjoy!

➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

You don’t know how long it has been until Taehyung finds you.

It’s cold. The tears have finally come to a halt, but you’re still sobbing and sniffling. You should probably get up and go home. It’s late. Not safe to be alone on the street like this. You should probably call an uber or something. 

Yet, every time you think of Jungkook’s tears, it seems that your own eyes well up with tears all over again.

What makes you snap back into reality is the sound of shoes walking down the stairs.

You get up in a jump, feeling your legs ache in the process, and turn around to see the person you least expected to see right now. Taehyung stops some steps ahead. The light pole behind him marks his silhouette with a halo.

“I finally found you,” he says after a few seconds. He sounds hesitant but somehow relieved. 

It makes your heart clench even more.

You make an immense effort to speak, as if words ran over inside your throat and made it stuck. Well, they did, in a sense.

“Taehyung, w-what…?” is all you can stutter. You don’t really need to finish the sentence. What are you doing here? Why did you come after me even though I hurt you?

He looks down and caresses the back of his neck. You notice that he’s nervously fiddling with his car keys on the other hand. Oh. He probably didn’t want to be around you, either.

“Well, you ran away down the street like that. I got worried.”

You shouldn’t.

“It’s… not safe to be by yourself on the street like this. I’m taking you home.”

Please, don’t be kind to me. 

It will be much harder if you’re being kind to me.

“Taehyung, I…” you feel yourself squeezing your purse against you, just as nervous as he is. You don’t want to bother him with your presence anymore. “I was about to call an uber. You don’t need to…”

“It’s alright. I’m already here anyway.” He starts to walk up the stairs again without looking back. Without giving you a chance to disagree. “Let’s go.”

It seems that your legs forgot how to walk as you watch him. You don’t want to get inside his car. You don’t want to face him, not right now. 

When Taehyung reaches the top of the stair alley, he finally looks back at you in silence. 

That’s when you realize that you have to face him. You were never one to run away from the consequences of your actions.

The newest consequence is staring back at you in quiet sadness.

You inhale deeply before going after him.

An awful silence hovers in the air during the entire ride home.

You can’t help but shrink on the passenger’s seat, hugging your own arms tight, your head leaning on the window. Taehyung does not make any attempt to engage a conversation. His presence is suffocating.

Something cold sets in your stomach when he parks the car in front of your apartment’s building. There’s nothing out there to distract you anymore. Nowhere else to run to.

You inhale again.

“Thank you.” you say softly. 

Taehyung doesn’t say anything as he rests his hands on his lap. You watch him intently as he gulps, his eyes glued in something ahead.

“So.” He starts, his voice as low as yours. This is painful. It was never your intention to put him in that situation, never. “I don’t want to take a drunk man seriously.”

It’s your turn to gulp. You really really don’t want to explain everything to him in detail. “Mike is a son of a bitch. He got it all wrong.”

“It seems that he got one thing right, though. Judging by Jungkook’s reaction.”

It’s getting difficult to breathe again.

Taehyung turns his head slowly to look at you.

“Are you guys…?”

You honestly feel like jumping out the window, but your feelings for Taehyung make you stay still. He’s a kind friend. He deserves to hear it clearly.

So you take a deep breath before speaking.

“Jungkook and I, we… we were never a real thing. Not really.” It hurts to say this out loud. It seems that you can still hear his broken voice…

There was never anything real happening, right? We were never real.

“B-But recently I realized that I have feelings for him.”

Taehyung nods slowly and sinks on the driver's seat. He rests his chin on his hand, letting a shaky deep breath out.

“Why did you call me today, then?”

“To tell you the truth.”

He gasps softly and shakes his head again. Taehyung has completely broken eye contact with you and his body language looks protective - building an almost visible wall between you and him in seconds.

“Wow. It seems that I was the one who got it all wrong.”

You feel like touching him to give him even a little bit of comfort, yet you know that you’re his main discomfort in the moment. You turn your body in his direction, pleading.

“Taehyung, it wasn’t meant to happen this way. I didn’t want to hurt you, not at all. I know that an apology won't be enough...”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He cuts you. His voice sounds strange, so different from how he has ever talked to you. He’s very quiet, but you can feel the anger and hurt lying underneath. “We never had anything anyway. I was the delusional one here.”

No, not again. You don’t think you can take more guilt for one night. You didn’t just delude him going on that date; you deluded him every time you talked, every time you texted each other. Taehyung saw something more when there was nothing at all - he felt something more, and you were too confused with your own feelings for Jungkook to notice what you were doing.

“Taehyung…”

“I’m feeling very ashamed right now.” He admits with a shaky exhale. “Could you…?”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but you know very well what he meant. Leave.

You nod and open the door into the cold night. You still stand there on the sidewalk hesitantly for a few seconds before whispering a shy “I’m sorry”. Taehyung doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look your way.

When you shut the door, you know very well that from now on, your friendship with Taehyung is also shut. 

You’ll miss him really bad.

It feels like you can barely carry the weight of your own body as you slowly make your way to your apartment - which is weird, because you feel empty right now. 

Your apartment isn’t as empty as you expected when you open the door, though. Seulgi is standing on the kitchen counter and she smiles wide when she sees you. She looks excited in a way she hasn’t been in months; it seems that she’s about to say something.

Her smile dies as she sees your puffy face and your red nose and eyes. 

“Y/N, what happened…?”

For some reason, when you look at her, you start crying again.

Seulgi wides her eyes and runs to where you’re standing, shocked and confused - probably because you have never cried in front of her yet. Never. 

“Oh my God, Y/N! What happened?!”

You can’t answer because the sobs won’t let you. You can just rest your face on Seulgi’s shoulder as she hugs you, patting your back. She is so confused that she can’t really think of anything else to do.

After a few minutes of restless crying, Seulgi manages to lead you to sit on the couch and runs back to the kitchen to take a glass of water. She sits by your side and hands you the glass, caressing your hair sweetly.

“Can you talk now, babe? What happened?” She asks again quietly as you try to drink a little bit of water.

You wipe the tears away once again and sniff. This place reminds you of him way too much. It feels that he belongs here, even though it’s not his home. And maybe… maybe he won’t ever step inside, ever again.

“I-It’s J-Jungkook.” it’s hard to speak between the sobs.

“Did you guys fight?” You nod weakly. “Was it that bad?”

Yes. Yes, it was.

After months of pretending, you finally open up to Seulgi. There’s no reason to keep this from her anymore. After Mike’s scandal, that’s probably everything the whole campus will be talking about in the next few days (you saw a lot of familiar faces at the bar).

It seems that Seulgi’s eyes will pop out of her face as you speak.

She stares at you, jaw dropped in pure shock.

“You and Jungkook what?!” is the first thing she exclaims. “Since when?!”

You rest your back on the couch and gaze at the ceiling. The sobs have finally stopped, at least. “Do you remember when I broke up with Mike? When we went to that club?”

“Yes, and you spent the night out…” Seulgi trails off as realization hits her. She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. “That guy you were talking about was Jungkook?!”

You just nod.

Seulgi gasps and rests her back on the couch right by your side, your arms touching. She’s speechless for a while.

“But, like�� how many times?”

“I don’t know.” She gasps again.

“That many times?”

You nod. “It was almost daily at some point.”

It seems that she can’t close her jaw anymore. “Where?”

“Here. His apartment. His car.” You frown. “Sometimes a cheap hotel downtown, when you and Jimin were both home.”

Seulgi stays quiet for a little longer.

You side eye her. “You didn’t suspect?”

She shakes her head slowly. “I thought you guys were acting strange for a while now, but I never thought this was going on.” She looks back at you. “Did someone know?”

“Jimin caught us once.” you decide to omit where he caught you. It’s embarrassing to say that you fucked inside Joy’s bathroom out loud and it makes you feel even worse. “But he promised to not tell anyone."

Back to silence. You can almost hear the engines inside Seulgi’s brain trying to process everything you just told her.

“But why did you guys fight?”

You take a deep breath before telling her the rest. Taehyung, Joy, Mike, Yeri. It’s quite painful to explain, but it’s also relieving.

If you thought Seulgi looked shocked before, now it looks like she just found out that Santa is real.

She completely turns her body in your direction, eyes super wide. “Do you like Jungkook?”

You nod softly, staring at your own fingers.

“It’s more than just liking him.” You admit sheepishly.

Then she’s quiet for a long, long time. You decide to finally look up at her.

Now you’re surprised.

“Why the hell are you smiling?”

Seulgi hides her mouth with both hands - as if this wouldn’t let you see the big ass grin on her lips. “I’m sorry. It’s… it’s cute.”

“Cute?” you quirk one eyebrow. “My suffering is cute to you?”

“That’s not what I mean.” she waves her hand dismissively. “I always kind of shipped you two, okay? It’s just that you two looked really good together and you always had such good chemistry and all. But I tried to stop thinking this because, you know, I thought it was wrong to assume that a man and a woman can’t be just friends… and it never looked like you had feelings for him, not at all.”

You stare at her as if she has a second head growing now. “You shipped us?”

“You can’t judge me.”

You cross your arms and sink on the couch even more. This is kind of shocking. “You never thought I liked him?”

Seulgi shakes her head. “Never. Jungkook, though…”

You turn your head to look at her so fast that your neck almost breaks. “What about him?”

She hesitates a little bit before speaking. “Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.” 

There it is again. The fast beating of your heart. It’s ridiculous that, even though you’re this miserable, you still feel this spark of happiness inside of you. 

For fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m in love with you!

You press your lips tight in an attempt to hold back the uninvited smile. It’s not appropriate to feel happy now; it feels that you don’t even have the right to feel happy at all. But his confession is hitting you just now. Hitting you like a truck. 

God, if only you could go back in time. If only you could just make him shut the fuck up and listen to you. Why did he have to be so damn dramatic? 

I love you too, dumbass! Now stop being a cry baby and kiss me!

What if Jungkook never gives you a chance to explain yourself? He can be hard-headed when he wants to. What if Jungkook never lets you get close to him again, what if your intimacy finally dies, what if you get so distant that when you’re in the same room you can’t bear each other’s presence anymore? What if from now on, there won’t be any Jungkook to steal your fries when you’re not looking, or to let you steal his clothes even though he pretends he doesn’t know you’re taking them, or to help you understand a difficult assignment, or to annoy you because he’s bored at 4AM, or to tell you the things no one else would be brave enough to tell you or to just be there when you needed someone the most?

Your brain can’t even comprehend what life without Jungkook is.

A mix of despair and hurry makes you get up in a jump.

“I’m going to his apartment.” Your breath is irregular, adrenaline taking control of your actions. “I-I need to talk to him now.”

“Hey, hey!” Seulgi gets up in a jump and puts her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to stop. “Y/N, you’re not okay. And you said Jungkook is drunk. Do you really think you’ll manage to have a civilized conversation right now? He’s probably still angry, maybe he won’t even listen to you.”

“I don’t care. I’ll shout on his door until he listens to me.”

Seulgi holds you in place again when you try to free yourself from her grip. “This is not a good idea and you know it.” She looks at you very seriously. “Take a shower, Y/N. Go to sleep. Tomorrow you’ll both be cold-headed and able to talk.”

“B-But,” you feel the tears coming back. Fuck. You hold Seulgi’s arms weakly. “But he needs to know the truth. He needs to know I like him back.”

The black-haired girl frowns. “Like him back…?”

You nod and look down. “He… he said that he’s in love with me.”

“Really?!” Seulgi huffs and taps your forehead lightly. “Then why are you so desperate?! He loves you back, dummy!”

“But I’m scared, Seulgi.” You sniff.

She rolls her eyes and pushes you into another hug. “Everything will be okay, Y/N. There’s no need to be worried. You already know the most important. Tomorrow you go talk to him, alright?” She chuckles softly. “Never thought I’d see you acting like this.”

You sniff again. “Now you understand how it is to deal with a stupid lovesick roommate.”

“Ouch.” You notice how she pats your back a bit aggressively. “But for real, Y/N… I’ll always be thankful for what you did today to me and Irene. Even though it was none of your business. And I’ll probably beat you up if you ever intervene in my life like that again-”

“Wow, I really see how you’re thankful, Seul.” She chuckles again.

"And I'm kind of offended that you hid this from me for so long."

"We promised we wouldn't tell anyone about this!"

"Alright, alright." She sighs. “I love you so much, you crackhead. And Jungkook loves you, too. You don’t need to be sad anymore, okay? Just take a shower and go to sleep now.”

You nod weakly.

Maybe she’s right. You’ll have enough time to talk to him tomorrow.

But you don’t think you’ll get any sleep right now.

***

[you]: jungkook

[you]: can we talk?

[you]: we really really need to talk

[you]: can i go to your place?

[you]: please

[you]: i know you’re reading 

[you]: stop ignoring me

[you]: jungkook

[you]: JUNGKOOK

You sigh heavily. This is so frustrating. He didn’t even leave you on read - you’re sure he’s just reading the texts on the notifications and swiping them away. He didn’t block your number, which is a good sign, but this is already getting on your nerves. You’ve been texting since early in the morning (because you couldn’t sleep) and it’s already 5PM.

“He’s ignoring my texts.” You whine to Seulgi as you enter the living room. 

“You said he had things to do today, right? Maybe he’s actually busy.” She says as she checks her makeup on the mirror. It’s been a long time since you saw her getting all pretty like this; she did her nails, made curls on her hair, put on that green skirt she bought months ago but never wore it. This is what being happy and in love looks like. Pretty, well-dressed, nice hair, healthy skin and all.

Meanwhile, your hair looks like a bird nest, you’re wearing the ugly Naruto t-shirt you have since middle school, your entire face is swollen and you have bags under your eyes. This is also what being in love looks like, unfortunately.

“Why don’t you just go to his apartment already?”

“You told me not to do it.”

“I told you not to do it yesterday. Today he’s not drunk anymore.”

You cross your arms. “I’m… I’m still kind of nervous.”

Seulgi turns around and looks at you and quirks her eyebrow. There’s the ghost of a smirk on her lips. “I never thought I’d see you nervous because of anyone. You look like a teenager…”

"I swear to God, if you say that you think I look cute one more time I'll fucking kill you."

Seulgi laughs and runs to you again, putting her hands on your shoulders. "Y/N, do you remember how you were always telling me that I was complicating simple things?"

"Yes."

She lifts her eyebrows. "So."

You roll your eyes and huff. "But it's not that easy!"

"Now you understand how I felt, huh?" Her eyes soften again. "For real, though. If you show up at his door he won't ignore you, I'm sure. Just go."

You sigh again and nod. "You're right. Just… let me build some courage, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She looks a bit worried. "I could go out with Irene another day."

"No, no. Go on your date." You wave your hands. "I'm not gonna die. Also, your pussy must be dusty after so long-"

She smacks your shoulder a bit too strongly as you let yourself laugh for the first time today. 

When Seulgi leaves, you still stand in the middle of the living room for a good while. Like a Sim whose action has just been cancelled.

Whoever is playing you is really evil for putting all the wrong people in the wrong places past night.

You know that you’re not being rational. You should have gone to his house a long time ago… but something holds you back. Perhaps because now there’s no turning back. You know what you feel for Jungkook and you know what he feels for you - your relationship got completely out of its comfort zone, and now you can’t even pretend anymore. Things won’t ever be the same. 

Maybe Jungkook is ignoring you because he’s embarrassed of what Mike did. He basically exposed you two in front of his friends. Sure, that’s none of no one’s business, but still… Jungkook didn’t want anyone to know about it in the first place.

You stare at your phone for a good while. Your reflection on the phone’s screen stares back at you in disgust.

For the hundredth time today, you unlock it and open Jungkook’s number. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard hesitantly.

[you]: jungkook i know youre mad at me and you have all the rights to be but

You frown and delete the text. It doesn’t sound good.

[you]: can you stop being dramatic and just text me back already?

You feel tempted to send this one, but if Jungkook’s angry, this will only make the situation worse. You sigh and try again one more time

[you]: i just really want to talk. you didnt let me speak last night. i know youre probably busy but please. i wont take much of your time

This one sounds about right. You tap the send button.

Then, your fingers mindlessly type one more text. It makes your heart beat fast just looking at it.

[you]: i love you too

You want to send this one so bad.

But you don’t.

Because this isn’t something to be told by text.

Coward! the angry voice of your consciousness yells in your mind. Stop being a coward! You’re an evolved human being, not a stupid teenager! Get this ass up the couch and go meet him!

You get up in a jump.

“I’m not a coward!” you say out loud. If you weren’t this out of your mind, you would have noticed how stupid it was to scream encouraging words by yourself in the living room.

But you don’t care right now.

You don’t care that your face is all puffy and the dark circles around your eyes make you look like a raccoon. You don’t care that you’re wearing your ulgy Naruto t-shirt with old ketchup stains, and you don’t care that you’re wearing the sweatpants that fall down your butt as you walk, and you don’t care that your hair looks like a living animal.

You just straight out leave your home and march to his. Flip flops and all.

Your heart beats at a stupid race as you walk, the sun already disappearing behind the buildings. The anxious part of your brain keeps reminding you that you don’t know what to say when you meet him and you don’t know what his reaction will be, but you shut this whiny voice up. Being with Jungkook always meant that you didn’t have to think a lot in the first place. Being with him is natural, it takes no effort. When you see him you’ll know what to say. You’re sure.

Yet, you can’t help but feel more and more nervous as you enter his apartment building (you never needed to ask permission to enter). You close your hands in fists, gulp multiple times, your heartbeat sounds like drums on your ears.

Your hand hovers over the door.

“Shit,” you whisper to yourself. It’s real. It’s happening. Come on. Don’t be a coward.

After taking one more deep breath, you finally knock on the door.

There’s noise inside. Steps. Fuck, you’re shaking.

You hear the sound of the door unlocking and you hold your breath ready to face him-

Jimin.

He widens his eyes and blinks.

“Oh. Hi, Jimin.” you say awkwardly. Why is he looking at you this way? “Hm, is Jungkook home?”

Jimin looks hesitant for a moment.

“No.”

It’s your turn to widen your eyes. So that’s why he isn't texting you back. This makes you a bit relieved.

“Is… is he working?” You can’t hide your disappointment.

“Not yet. He starts tomorrow.”

You put your hands on your waist and walk from side to side as Jimin just watches you in silence.

“Jimin, at what time he’ll be home tomorrow? Do you think it’ll be too late in the night? I really need to talk to him, but that fucker keeps ignoring my texts.”

You don’t like the face Jimin is making now.

You really don’t like it.

He scratches the back of his neck and frowns. “He… he didn’t tell you?”

This makes you stop.

“Tell me what?”

Jimin exhales and gulps.

“He told you that he’ll start working for Mr. Choi, right? That director.”

“Yes.” Each word of his makes you more and more worried. 

“So… this project he’s involved in…” Jimin licks his lips before continuing. “It’s overseas.”

You stare at him in silence as this information sinks in.

“Overseas?! Are you telling me he fucking left the country?!”

“Yes.”

You can’t believe what you just heard.

“B-But- yesterday Jungkook and I were planning to go out! This makes no sense!”

“Well,” Jimin looks hesitant again. “In fact, his flight is tomorrow morning, but he left earlier because we kind of had an argument.” He sends you an apologetic gaze. “He was drunk yesterday and all and I was trying to calm him down and I might have accidentally let it slip that I knew about you two, and this kinda pissed him off even more because, well, he was drunk and you know how Jungkook gets stupid when he’s drunk, so I think he left to his parent’s house and he’ll head to the airport tomo- wait, are you crying?!”

You sniff and hide your face behind your hands.

“Oh my God,” Jimin sounds confused and borderline panicked as he watches you start sobbing again. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“B-Because h-he-!” you can’t fucking speak anymore.

Jimin puts a hand on your back and guides you to sit on the couch. He brings some tissues and pats your back awkwardly as you cry and sob like stupid. 

“W-Why didn’t he tell me he was l-leaving?” you ask yourself. 

Jimin sighs. “Y/N, it’s not like he’s leaving forever. It’s just for this project. He’ll be back by the end of the week.”

“B-But he would’ve told me something so important!” You blow your nose. Jimin frowns. “I didn’t know this project was so huge! What, is it a movie or something?”

“It’s a music video.” You stare at Jimin in disbelief. “Jungkook has been around the recording studio with Namjoon and Yoongi a lot. He ended up meeting Mr. Choi, who has been directing some music videos for Big Hit Records’ artists. He liked Jungkook’s work and invited him to work as an assistant… I mean, the assistant of the assistant, as Jungkook himself said.”

You exhale, feeling your shoulders drop. “Why didn’t he tell me this?”

Jimin’s eyes soften. “Your friendship hasn’t been in the best shape these days, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”

You rest your elbows on your legs and hide your face behind your hands again. You didn’t want to be crying this bad again, yet you just can’t stop. You don’t even know why you’re crying anymore. Jimin just caresses your back in silence as your sobs start quieting down.

“You were right,” you say at some point.

“What?”

“When you told me not to hurt him. I was hurting him and I didn’t even realize. I’m so stupid.”

Jimin tilts his head. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Y/N. You were both stupid.” You side eye him.

“Jungkook said that he’s in love with me.” This makes him quirk his eyebrows.

“Oh.”

“You don’t look very surprised.”

“I’m not.”

“Did… did he tell you?”

“No.”

“Was it that obvious?”

Jimin presses his lips together hesitantly. “Do you want me to comfort you or do you want me to be honest?”

“Be honest.”

“It was pretty fucking obvious that he’s in love with you. At least for me.” 

You exhale and swipe your hands over your face. “I’m so stupid!” you repeat.

“Look, Y/N, to be honest, I think Jungkook is the most stupid. He was torturing himself with this fuck buddies thing, you know? He agreed to it in the first place. Everyone knows that this type of thing shouldn’t involve feelings, but he was the one to throw himself into it while he already had feelings.”

“It’s not like he’s the only one, though.”

Jimin seems about to say something, but he stops and stares at you, jaw-dropped.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

You rest your back on the couch. “I mean that I was also stupid enough to throw myself into it while having feelings.”

He’s quiet for a few more seconds.

“Do you mean that you like him back?”

You don’t answer. 

Much like Seulgi, it looks like Jimin just discovered something world-shocking. “Since when? Have you liked him since the beginning?”

You sigh sadly.

“No, I haven’t. To me, it was just fun. Until I realized that he was getting too far from my reach and- and I realized that Jungkook has never been too far, never, and I don’t know what to do when he’s not around.” You sniff. You’re not talking to Jimin anymore at this point; you’re talking to yourself. “Y-You know, now that I think about it, I… I guess I understand why it was always so good. Not just because he fucks good or because of his big dick-”

“I don’t need to hear this, do I?” Jimin whines in disgust.

“-but because it was him.” One more tear rolls down your cheek. “It was good because it was with him.”

The way you always felt comfortable to be naked in front of him. How it was always lighthearted and fun and exciting. You had good sex with other people before, but never like this. Maybe because these other people didn’t have Jungkook’s handsome smile or because their eyes didn’t gleam with excitement the way his does or because they didn't smell like baby powder. Or maybe because it was never scary to be exposed in front of him because he already knew everything about you - there wasn’t really anything else to expose. 

Jungkook felt like home.

Now, you feel homeless.

You wipe the tears away once more and look at Jimin-

“Why are you smiling?”

Doesn’t this scene look familiar?

“I’m sorry, it’s just that- wow, I don’t even know what to say.” Jimin doesn’t even try to hide his smile. “I’ve been waiting so long for this. Like, I kind of suspected that you had feelings for him, but I couldn’t be sure because you’re a hard bitch to read. To be honest, when I saw what you two were doing I wanted to kill you because you couldn’t be this blind to not realize how he feels about you-”

“Can you stop being honest for a moment?”

“Oh.” Jimin gulps, but he can’t stop smiling. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh again and cross your arms. “What if he never lets me explain myself, Jimin?”

“Stop the drama.” Jimin’s voice hardens suddenly. “You two are very similar in this sense, you know? I’m sure that Jungkook will listen to whatever you have to say. And he’ll be away for just four days! It’s not like he’s leaving forever.”

You sit there in silence for some moments. You’re sure that if you tell that you’re scared to talk to Jungkook, he will probably beat you up. He never had that much patience.

Jimin exhales heavily and gets up. “Wait a minute.” You watch as he walks into Jungkook’s empty bedroom, frowning. He stays there for a little while. When he comes back to the living room, he stops in front of you and hands you something.

“Jungkook’s gonna kill me when he finds out, but I don’t care.” 

“What is this-?”

“Just take it already. And watch it when you’re back home. It’s so personal that I got uncomfortable the first time I watched it.”

“Then why are you giving it to me-?”

“Just fucking take it, Y/N!”

You take the small device before Jimin makes you swallow it. 

He smiles sweetly.

“Everything will be fine, okay? Don’t worry. I’m always right.”

You stare at the small black pen drive in between your fingers.

This time, you genuinely hope he’s right.

You had honestly forgotten how it feels to get drunk. 

At the same time that the dizziness feels familiar, it's also hitting you like a truck. Your friends didn't believe you when you said that you'd stop drinking, yet you've been loyal to your word. Of course, it's not like you didn't drink anything in all those months, but a single beer isn't the same as a pack of beer.

The way your body's responding to the alcohol in your system isn't right. Your stomach is already tangling around itself, you can't walk a straight line from the couch to the kitchen counter without feeling that there's holes opening on the floor, and your thoughts are more incomprehensible than usual. You'd usually not get drunk so fast - and surely not with just beer. You're the girl that was still very sober after many tequila shots that time a random date of yours was trying to get you drunk - he ended up drunk after a few shots, of course, and you left the son of a bitch alone while he vomited on himself.

Being in love sure has changed you a lot.

Look, it's not the first time you drink to forget about your problems. You've been doing that since high school and you're tired of hearing Jungkook say how this behavior is unhealthy (he's right, as usual). This time, though, you're not forgetting about your problems, you're just thinking about them more.

It doesn't help that you're listening to Seulgi's playlist on Spotify called "i miss you irene." You laughed your ass off when you found out she really made a heartbreak playlist and named it like that. "You're torturing yourself, Seulgi," you told her. I mean, why would someone sad listen to songs that will only make them more sad?

Well.

Here you are now, laying on the carpet as Spending my Time by Roxette is blasting on the speakers.

People really knew how to write heartbreak songs back in the 90s.

"Fuck you, Jungkook." you mumble, staring at the ceiling. "I'm shoving alcohol up my ass. You can't tell me what to do."

Jungkook, that fucker. Why didn’t he listen to you? Why didn’t you shut him up? If there was a way to go back in time you’d do it. You wouldn’t have kissed Taehyung, you wouldn’t let him get the wrong impression. You wouldn’t have encouraged Jungkook to be with Joy. Fuck, if you could go back in time you would have woken up that first morning in Jungkook’s bed and said that it meant a lot to sleep with him, that you were willing to not be just friends anymore.

(Of course, back then you didn’t feel that way, but you’re drunk and sad. Give yourself a break.)

Now, you can’t tell him what you feel because he’s somewhere overseas. He probably bought new clothes for such an important occasion. You imagine him being in a real set for the first time, his eyes gleaming as he watches the staff working, him trying to hold his excited smile back because he’s supposed to look professional and-

You sniff. You have a stuffy nose. Fuck.

You're so drunk that you can't really control your actions anymore. If Seulgi were here, she would probably stop you. But she's not here. She's somewhere with Irene.

So you take your phone, tap the Instagram app and start typing.

[@you]: hell o 😅😂🤣😊

[@you]: its been a log time how u doing???

[@you]: what if we meeet????

And unfortunately, she replies.

[@yerimiese]: hi 🤗

[@yerimiese]: yeah, sure!

[@yerimiese]: when can we meet?

It’s the back pain that makes you wake up the next day because you slept on the floor. You’re dizzy and confused, your poor brain trying to understand what’s happening, why you’re on the floor, why there’s so many empty beer cans around you and why your phone is flashing with notifications from last night.

When your sight finally adjusts to the light your phone screen produces, your eyes widen and you stand up in a jump, making your back ache even more.

Did you seriously DM Yeri and she seriously agreed to meet you?!

It’s currently 11:40 AM - and you agreed to meet at noon. 

You run to your bedroom so fast that it makes you dizzy and you end up hitting your hip against the doorframe and it feels like you fucking broke it. You just have time to wear the first clean clothes you see laying around, tie your hair up and run to take the first bus you see.

You could’ve just told Yeri that you weren’t going anymore, of course, even though she agreed to meet you and it would’ve been kind of rude. You know it’s going to be the most awkward moment ever to see her after so long, especially now that you have feelings for her ex. Gosh - you’re already feeling so much embarrassment that you feel like jumping out of the bus and running back home. Why the fuck do you always end up doing stupid things when you’re drunk?!

But again - it’s that same chaotic side of you that makes you stay inside the bus and meet her. This chaotic side takes a good portion of your personality, it just gets more outgoing when you’re drunk. The same chaotic side that made you start some friends with benefits bullshit with your best friend just because you liked the idea of not being caught and the same chaotic side that made you passive aggressively flirt with Taehyung when you didn’t really want anything with him-

How the fuck did your friends even stand you?!

You’re forced to stop the existential crisis when you see that you arrived at the park. You feel a shiver run down your spine.

Yeri is sitting on the bus stop. 

She looks prettier than you remember; her hair is short and blonde now, which makes her look more mature. Yeri was always one to walk around well dressed, but right now it feels almost humiliating that she's all pretty when you literally look like a scarecrow. 

She smiles awkwardly and gets up. You didn't even say anything yet and it already feels awkward.

"I’m so sorry, Yeri,” is the first thing you say as you approach each other. “Did I make you wait too long?”

“No! It’s alright. I also got a little bit late.” She says, smiling prettily. Pretty is a word that overall describes her very well. “So, how you’re doing?”

“I’m doing fine!” You’re doing anything but fine at the moment. “What about you?”

“I’m fine, too.”

Silence.

My good Lord.

You start to regret all of your life choices right here and right now. You don’t see this girl in almost a year, you’re not close anymore, you know nothing about her life. Why the fuck did you even come anyway?! The awkwardness is so big that you can almost touch it.

There’s also a small and annoying thought that grows as you watch her - a thought you try very hard to ignore, but you can’t - that this is the girl Jungkook used to fuck before he started fucking you, that he used to go down on her and that he used to be inside of her and that those pretty lips of her once were around his cock and for some reason you start getting really angry-

“Do you wanna have a drink?” Yeri suddenly says.

You blink. “Hm… it’s 12PM.”

“And?” She quirks an eyebrow.

She’s perceptive, this one. Nothing’s better to break the ice than alcohol. 

You don’t even know what you’re doing here anyway, so who cares?

“Sure. I know a bar nearby.”

Yeri slams the empty glass on the counter and stares at you, shocked.

“Mike did what?!”

You nod and swallow one more shot. Your tastebuds are so used (even calloused) from this bitter taste that you don’t even scowl as the drink slides down your throat. “Yeah. It seems that he was cheating on me for a while with that bitch. I caught them inside the lab.”

Yeri stares ahead. She looks speechless. “I will be honest… I heard that he was cheating on you, but I never thought this happened.” She shakes her head slowly. “Why the fuck were they inside a lab anyways? Are they stupid?”

“The lab was deactivated. That part of the science building was being renovated.” You sigh. Reviving those memories is kind of painful right now, especially after what Mike did to you some nights ago. Honestly, he could die and you wouldn’t care. “I was looking for him. His friends told me he went in that direction… well, kinda weird that they snitched on him like that. Maybe they really didn’t know. Anyways, I still don’t know how they got the key to the lab.”

Yeri nods. “Wow… I am really, really shocked. You guys were a pretty couple.” She gesticulates with her hand. “One more shot, please.”

“Me too, please.” You say.

The bartender looks at you two with visible worry. There’s no one else in the bar - who the fuck drinks so much this early? Wait, why is this bar even opened this early? - so he’s obviously hearing your whole conversation. You wonder what’s his opinion on your fucked up love life.

“Are you sure, girls? Shouldn’t you slow down a little bit?” He asks hesitantly.

You wave your hand dismissively. “Nah, we’re good.” You’re still not dizzy, just a little talkative. Getting drunk yesterday seemed to awaken all of your high tolerance superpowers. Pretty Yeri also isn’t one to get drunk that easily.

“We’re strong girls.” She reassures. The bartender shrugs as he prepares two more shots. “You seemed to like him a lot.” 

“I did.” You admit. 

“And he seemed to like you, too. I never expected that. Well… to be honest, Jungkook sometimes told me that he didn’t like Mike and that he was sure that he wasn’t a good guy.”

The sudden mention of his name makes you freeze. You realize that Yeri freezes, too. It seems that she’s also surprised for bringing him up like this. Yeri looks down at the new shot the bartender just placed in front of you two.

“It seems that he was right. As usual.” She finishes in a much lower voice, drinking her shot in one go.

This single sentence makes you realize that “Jungkook” is still a delicate topic for her. Of course it’d be - you don’t know much about their break up, but you sure know it was anything but friendly. Jungkook got pretty fucked up for a few weeks after their break up - and the fact that he refuses to talk about it to this day is enough of an indication.

Shit.

“Anyways, it didn’t stop there.” You decide to go back to your suffering for now, so she can get distracted. “The day before yesterday I bumped into him. He was drunk and made a scandal. Called me a bitch in front of everyone.”

Yeri gasps and looks at you wide eyed. “What? Please, tell me someone punched the fuck out of him!”

“Yeah, my friend did before I could.” You’re not telling her which friend, of course. “It was satisfying. Still made me feel really bad, though.”

“You shouldn’t. You did nothing wrong, Y/N. He’s the son of a bitch here.” Yeri reassures. 

You nod and drink. “But enough of talking about my depressing love life. What about you?”

Yeri sighs, holding the small cup with both hands. “I’m doing fine, I guess. Didn’t really get serious with anyone yet. I’m seeing a guy, though. I don’t think I like him yet, but he’s about right. Who knows?” She says, shrugging.

You nod slowly. We’re getting into dangerous waters now. “I’m glad we’re both moving on, I guess.”

Yeri goes quiet for a while.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

A deep silence settles after this. You stare at the empty cup blankly, feeling the tension building up.

"I… have to be honest." Yeri starts quietly. "It was surprising that you called me after so long." She taps her nails on the counter slowly. "And I have the feeling that you called me for a very specific reason."

You nod slowly. She's not stupid. "You're right."

Yeri hesitates for a second. "You didn't… Jungkook didn't ask you to come here to talk to me, right?"

You almost gasp. Jungkook doesn't even dream that you're with her right now. "No, no. He didn't. You know I'm kinda nosy, but I have my limits too."

Yeri quirks her eyebrows and nods. You really hope that this tiny thing you saw deep in her eyes wasn't disappointment. You really hope that deep down Yeri doesn't still like him.

"So… why did you call me, then?"

You sigh. She came all this way just to meet you, so you have to at least be honest right now.

"I was drunk yesterday when I texted you."

"Oh." Yeri widens her eyes. "I thought there was something wrong with you by the way you were texting."

You chuckle. "But… I did call you because of Jungkook, somehow." You say carefully, She stiffens. "I know it's kinda cruel to do this. If you want to simply leave or if you want to slap me, I won't judge you. But… we had a really ugly fight these days and I don't know what to do. I was hoping that maybe… maybe you could help me understand him."

Yeri goes very, very quiet after this.

"Did you guys fight because of me?" She asks after a while.

"No and yes." Yeri was one of the things that got you overthinking anyways. "I… I really need to know. Again, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to. But… why did you guys break up?"

Yeri turns her head slowly to look at you. There's something very serious and hardened on her eyes.

"He never told you." It wasn't a question. You shake your head. "Well, I figured he wouldn't." She looks back to the cup between her hands; you can see she's thinking hard. "Y/N, I always admired your friendship with him. What you have is something truly special. Maybe you won't want to know why. Maybe I don't want to tell you because I don't want to destroy your friendship."

"My relationship with Jungkook won't ever go back to what it used to be anyways. I don't care." 

Yeri looks surprised. She still hesitates for some moments - what makes your blood boil in expectation - but finally sighs and nods.

"Alright, then." She crosses her arms. "I broke up with him because of you."

You stare at her, jaw dropped.

"What? What did I do?" You ask, genuinely confused.

"You did nothing." She chuckles drily. "That's why I couldn't hate you, you know. And I tried to hate you really hard."

You don't know what to say. Some girls Jungkook had some sort of relationship with were very jealous of you, you knew, but Yeri was different. "Were you… were you jealous of me and him? But Yeri- you know we weren't like that."

This is not a lie. You weren't like that while they still dated. You were too stupidly in love with Mike to notice the person that was standing right by your side all along.

"I know." She nods. "I know you didn't. But Jungkook did."

You freeze.

"What?"

Yeri finally looks at you again - clear sadness on her eyes.

"Jungkook loves you. Not in a way a friend does."

You’re absolutely speechless.

Your heart is beating so fast that you think you’re about to faint. Your brain malfunctions and it seems that you lost the ability to speak for a few moments. This shouldn’t shock you - Jungkook confessed his feelings himself not long ago, and Jimin also said how he knew about Jungkook’s feelings - goddamn, even Seulgi noticed it a little bit. But back then? When he was still dating Yeri?

“B-But Yeri-” you hate the way you’re stuttering and you hate how Yeri is telling you something she obviously doesn’t like, but you still feel so fucking happy and fuzzy inside. “Jungkook was in love with you. I’m sure.”

“I thought so, too. And he thought he was in love with me.” Yeri stares ahead again, and in this moment you realize that yes, it still hurts her. “You know… Jungkook was too much like a dream.” She chuckles to herself, as if she can’t believe in what she’s saying. “He was perfect in every sense. His good looks, the way he was always so sweet… God, even the way he’s in bed.” Yes, he’s unbeatable in bed, you want to agree. “Too perfect to be true.”

Yeri goes quiet again for a while. She stares at the cup as if it’s showing her something important she can’t look away from.

“I started to realize why it was so perfect.” Her voice sounds painfully fragile. “He was trying too hard. Always trying his best. At first I thought that it was a good thing… We all want someone that’s always trying their best for you, right? But then… then, I started to watch how he acted when he was around you. Y-You know what’s worst in all this? It’s not like you two gave me actual reason to be jealous. You were never touchy around each other. You were even dating back then, and you two avoided going out together because Mike and Jungkook never got along well. I know it.” She sounds like she wants to cry. It makes you feel really, really bad. 

“But… fuck, it was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. With you, he wasn’t trying anything. He didn’t need to try. I saw how he was so comfortable around you and… well, I didn’t need to be a genius to understand that he was so stupidly in love with you that it got him blind.” Yeri inhales and exhales deeply. “Jungkook was too much like a dream. But everyone has to wake up sometime, and I didn’t want to be there when he woke up from his. So I left him before I could get any more hurt.”

You can just stare at her, jaw dropped, adrenaline making your breathing shaky.

“Yeri, I never… I didn’t…” you stupidly stutter.

“I know you didn’t.” She nods. “I even pitied Jungkook, you know. Because he didn’t want to see what he really felt, and because you obviously didn’t feel the same.” Yeri chuckles. “That’s why I can’t hate you. That’s also what gave me some sense of revenge. At least he’s suffering a little bit.”

You’re both very, very quiet for some time.

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. She doesn’t know you’re apologizing for putting her under the torture of telling those memories that are still painful for her. You weren’t expecting that Yeri still felt so affected by her past relationship even after so long. 

“You don’t need to apologize.” She shakes her head slowly. “It wasn’t meant to be. That’s all. We would both keep suffering like that.” Yeri exhales again and looks at you. “Well… I guess I’m going now. I really hope I didn’t completely kill your relationship with him.”

She didn’t.

She quite helped to save it, actually.

Yeri takes some money from her purse and puts it over the counter, paying for her drinks. As she gets up from the stool, you say:

“Thank you for telling me, Yeri. I really wish you all the happiness you deserve.”

The blonde girl opens a small smile. You see why Jungkook fell - well, at least thought he fell - for her. Maybe Yeri doesn’t know it, but she also looks like a dream. You just hope she’ll find someone that will wake her up to see the most beautiful, warm and lovely reality.

“Thanks. See you around.”

She leaves.

You just sit there, all alone, staring at the counter.

Well- not exactly alone.

The bartender is furiously side-eyeing you.

“What?” You ask drily.

He presses his lips together. “I don’t think I should say anything…”

You tilt your head. “Go ahead. You heard everything anyway.”

The bartender stops in front of you. There’s something wise about him. That’s probably the result of hearing hundreds and hundreds of love stories every night - day, in your case.

“That dude you guys were talking about,” he says. “Your friend. You like him, right?”

You stare at him seriously. “Why would you think that?”

“Because your eyes lit up so much as she talked that I thought you were going to explode.”

Fuck. You can’t even pretend anymore. You avoid his gaze, embarrassed, and nod. “I do.”

He lifts his eyebrows. “Then, and excuse my intrusive ass, what the fuck are you waiting for?” He almost looks annoyed, as if he’s having to explain something painfully obvious. “Go after him, woman!”

You stare at him. 

He’s right.

What the fuck are you waiting for?

Oh, right. You’re waiting until he comes back, because he’s fucking overseas.

It makes you so, so angry. After everything you just heard, after everything you’re feeling right now, you wanted nothing more but to run to him and make him listen to you. You want to see him, to hug him, to make him understand that he’s your most important person in the world, that you can’t see yourself in a world where he isn’t around.

But guess what - you’ll have to wait three days to meet him. 

You look so grumpy on your way back home that people deliberately avoid looking at you. Seulgi and Irene are there when you arrive; Seulgi looks worried, Irene looks confused, you just decide to say you’re alright and lock yourself inside your bedroom because you can’t physically look at a happy couple right now.

You throw yourself on the bed and scream against a pillow.

If someone told you you’d be feeling so many things when all of this started, you wouldn’t have believed. You were always someone to continuously keep the fuck it button pressed - or at least, you pretended you did. Like that, you could trick your heart into believing you weren’t hurt by some jerk who cheated on you, that you didn’t feel like a piece of shit for drowning your problems in alcohol, that you didn’t care that most of your “friends” just cared about you when it came to parties and having fun, that there was never really anyone that truly took you seriously in a relationship.

It’s really easy to pretend those things aren’t real. But it’s just like Yeri said - one moment, everyone has to wake up. To you, waking up means facing the consequences of your actions, to face your feelings.

And it really hurts right now.

It also reminds you that the person you’d usually let your guard down for was Jungkook. You were never embarrassed to be weak in front of him - and it was the other way round. You were always in tune. Always in synergy.

This makes you remember the little black pen drive laying on the nightstand.

You sit in a jump, taking your laptop and the pen drive. Just feeling the device between your fingers makes you feel nervous… that’s why you still didn’t check what’s inside of it yet. Jimin said it was something personal. You’ve been hesitating to see whatever it is.

It can’t be bad, can it?

You plug the pen drive in your laptop. 

The files tab pops up. There’s actually only one file inside the pen drive - a video. It’s called euphoria final test i swear to god. 

You chuckle. This is so Jungkook. 

Your finger still hovers over the touchpad hesitantly. It looks like one of Jungkook’s test videos - you’ve seen plenty of those. Nothing new. Nothing to be scared of. You double click. 

The video opens up and fills up the screen.

It’s a vertical video recorded on selfie mode. Jungkook is walking down the university hall; he has a playful smile on his lips. The video shows you walking by his side, a grumpy expression on your face.

You remember this. He actually posted this on his Instagram stories around one year ago. His hair was way shorter back then. Why does he still have something so silly?

“Y/N’s team lost the championship.” Jungkook says. Of course he looks happy. He roots for the rival team. “How are you feeling right now?”

“Fuck you.” Is all you say.

Jungkook laughs loudly.

Another video.

A song kicks in.

It starts with the sweet melody of a piano. You frown, not recognizing this song at all. 

Then the voice of the singer kicks in, and you feel your whole body freezing.

It’s Jungkook’s voice.

He sounds soft and angelic as you’ve always known - only this time, through professional mics and mixing. This itself is already shocking. You always felt blessed for being one of the few people to know of Jungkook’s singing ability, but this is different. He sounds like a professional singer, someone that makes a living out of it.

You remember Namjoon’s voice.

Hah, Jungkook didn’t tell you yet? He has been working with us! We’re doing a good job. He lent his voice to record some demos.

You then remember what Jungkook told you.

I… I kind of helped them write a song. I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.

Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.

Is… is this the song he was talking about?

Jungkook’s sweet voice sings:

You are the sunlight that rose again in my life

A reincarnation of my childhood dreams

I don’t know what these emotions are

Am I still dreaming?

Your breathing is irregular. Your fingers are shaking slightly. 

Because as if his voice wasn’t enough to singlehandedly make you feel completely lost, the video is still passing on.

Videos of you.

You sitting on the university’s library, reading a book. You crying that time you ate tacos that were way too spicy, Jungkook’s laughter from behind his phone ringing softly over the song. You playing Just Dance with Seulgi, ridiculously trying to follow the doll’s moves on the TV. You running after Jungkook down the hall as he laughs because he stole your last cookie. You dancing around your kitchen as you prepare breakfast. You and him singing to Staying Alive that night at Burger King, both of you visibly drunk. Your shocked reaction as you watched a plot twist unfold on the TV - an anime he insisted so much for you to watch that you ended up watching.

I hear the ocean from far away

Across the dream, past the woods

I'm following this clarity

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

You remember some of those videos. He posted some of them on his Instagram or Snapchat. Some of them you sent him yourself. Some of them, though, you had no idea that existed. Videos of you doing… nothing. Scrolling down your phone. Reading a book. Watching TV. Some of them look more professional - those are from the times you accepted to be his “model” so he could test his techniques, yet he never let you see any of those videos.

Just you.

You, you, you and you.

Were you wandering around

Looking for an erased dream too?

It’s different from what destiny suggests

We share the same painful views

Won't you please stay in my dreams

Yes, both of you had erased dreams. Your erased dream was Mike. His erased dream was Yeri.

Jungkook thought that you would never be more than friends. What he felt, though, was different from what he thought destiny suggested.

The way you drifted apart from each other. The pain you went through, watching your friendship slowly die. You shared the same painful views.

You don’t know at what moment you start to cry, but now, tears are freely dripping down your cheeks.

Even if the earth crumbles

No matter who shakes this world

Don't let go of my hand

Please don’t wake me up from this dream

You remember that time you were looking at the pictures Jungkook took at a wedding, and you noticed how the groom looked at his future wife with overflowing love. You wondered to yourself if someone has ever looked - or ever would - look at you the same way.

Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.

It was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. 

You’re not seeing him in this video.

Yet, it shows how Jungkook sees you. And you can’t help but think… in his eyes, you look beautiful.

He sings beautifully. Passionately.

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

Euphoria

Close the door now

When I’m with you I’m in utopia

As the song slowly ends, the screen shows a last shot from a very old video you didn’t even remember. It’s from your graduation day from high school… actually, a video your mother recorded. The difference is clear from how shaky the camera is. You can’t help but think you look too goofy in your old school uniform.

“Y/N, it’s your graduation day! Next year you’ll live by yourself in a big city!”

“Thanks God. Less bills to pay for,” you hear your father jokingly say somewhere out of sight. You roll your eyes, but still laugh.

“Thank you so much, Dad. I see how much you love me.”

“But I love you, sweetie!”

“Shut up, darling. I’m trying to do an interview.” Your mother shushes him. “So, how do you feel, Y/N?”

You look thoughtful for a moment. That stupid teenager on the screen looks so full of hopes and courage. So young, so naive. “I’m a little bit scared, but I’m excited.” You say. 

Then you smile, as if remembering something very important.

“Besides, Jungkook will live next to me, so I’ll be alright.”

The video ends.

You just sit there, sobbing uncontrollably for the next few minutes.

When you clicked that file, you never expected this.

You never expected to feel so loved with just a video.

At the same time, it makes an urge - the strongest urge you’ve ever felt in your life - flow through you. You need to tell Jungkook how wrong those lyrics are.

He doesn’t have to keep dreaming anymore. You’ve woken up from your own dream - and you’re ready to show him the real world in which you love him back, unconditionally.

Irene and Seulgi look worried as they see you marching out of your bedroom, sniffling, tears streaming down your cheeks. Before Irene can say anything, you put both hands on her shoulders and look at her seriously.

“Remember when you said you owed me one? That you’d help me with whatever I needed?”

Irene starts to look scared. “Yes.”

“Were you serious?”

“Of course!”

“Good. Then I need you to buy a flight ticket for me. Today.”

“Are you sure that’s the right hotel, Jimin?” you ask out of breath, your phone almost falling as you balance it between your ear and your shoulder, your hands busy holding your passport and flight ticket. You, Irene and Seulgi run inside the airport, looking like three crazy women in a dangerous mission - which isn’t too far from reality.

“I’m sure, Y/N!” Jimin says through the phone, starting to sound a little bit annoyed. “God, you asked me this a hundred times!”

“But I need to be sure! Can’t you ask him once again?”

“He will start to get suspicious. I already had to make up one hell of an excuse to make him tell me which room he’s in without sounding creepy.”

“Room 23, right?”

“Room 32!”

“So, is he sure that’s the right hotel?” Irene asks.

“Yes.”

She clicks something on her phone. “Good. It’s not too far from the airport. You’re lucky there was a room available!”

“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” Seulgi asks, looking borderline panicked. “You’re not going to die if you wait a few days until he comes back.”

“Yes, I am going to die if I wait any longer.”

“So dramatic.” Jimin says over the phone. You can even see him rolling his eyes.

“Shut up!”

“Why are you telling me to shut up?!” Seulgi asks, offended.

“No! I was talking to Jimin!” You finally hold the phone with your hand. “Okay, Jimin. I’m hanging up. Thank you so much for your help.”

“Don’t fucking die out there.” Jimin says, but you can hear the smile on his voice. “Good luck!”

You shove the phone inside your back pocket and turn around to look at them.

“Y/N, I don’t trust you alone in a foreign country.” Seulgi says. She does look panicked.

“I don’t trust myself either, but it’s alright.” You reassure her - but she only looks more nervous. You didn’t even bring a suitcase, choosing to just take a backpack with a few clothes and extremely necessary items. 

Irene takes something from her wallet and hands it to you. “Here’s my credit card. I will text you the password later.”

You widen your eyes. “Irene, that’s not necessary…”

She shrugs in a dismissing demeanour. “Of course it is. How will you survive out there without money?” This kinda reminds you that this is only one of her credit cards and that whatever money you spend won’t really mean much to her. Still, you take the card hesitantly, making a mental promise to not spend more than the utmost necessary. “Your room is booked. You can ask a taxi to take you directly to the hotel. There’s no way to get lost.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” Seulgi says under her breath.

“Seulgi, I will fucking beat you up.” 

“Sorry! I’m nervous!” She admits.

Your gaze softens. “I promise I won’t die, okay?”

She steps closer and hugs you tightly. “Be safe. Huh, you’re so stupid, but this is so romantic! It feels like I’m watching a Netflix romcom movie in real life!”

“Why do you always have to bring Netflix up?” Irene wonders under her breath. Seulgi sends her a menacing glare as she steps back again. “Anyways, if you need anything, please call us. Call us as soon as you get out of the plane. Keep us informed.”

“Okay.” You jump over to hug Irene; she gets visibly surprised, not really the type of person to appreciate a lot of physical contact. “Thank you so much, Irene! You’re saving my life!”

“The same way you saved mine.” She giggles. “Now go, unless you want to lose your flight!”

You wave them goodbye one last time before walking to the check-in area.

Yeah. You know that this is very, very stupid to do. You could wait three days. But when your impulsive, chaotic side takes control, you can’t really hold it back. That’s why you get inside the plane even though you’re really fucking scared of flights, going to a country you know absolutely nothing about. 

But it’s alright. You’ll be with Jungkook, so it’s alright. Even if he rejects you - it’s alright.

Your chaotic side says that you’ll annoy him until he at least listens to you - and this time, you don’t think your chaotic side is all that wrong.

You get lost.

Which is dumb, because there were lots of information boards around the airport. Maybe that’s why you got lost - too much information, your peanut-sized brain couldn’t process all of that. After walking around the gigantic place for a good thirty minutes, only stopping to buy something very important on a vending machine, you find the exit and the taxi area. The taxi driver sees how desperate you are and it looks like he pities you.

Irene was right; the hotel is only twenty minutes away from the airport. It’s not a super hotel, but it looks like it’s much more expensive than you’d be able to pay (you couldn’t even pay for the flight tickets anyway). 

You get more and more and more and more nervous at each passing minute. You feel like you’re about to fucking explode as the receptionist types something you can’t see. When he gives you the key card for your room, you feel goosebumps run down your spine.

It’s now.

Getting inside the elevator, you press the button to Jungkook’s floor. You don’t even want to drop your things in your own room before meeting him. You’re so nervous that, if you wait a little bit more, you’re sure that you’ll pass out.

Every step of yours on the corridor’s carpeted floor echoes in your ears. Your heart beats furiously. Your hands are trembling slightly and you feel cold in your stomach.

Room 23.

You stand in front of it, frozen.

Oh my God.

As expected, you don’t know what you’ll say when you see him. You tried to plan a speech the entire flight as a way to forget you were thousands of feet away from the ground and how fucking scared it made you, but you couldn’t think of anything.

You inhale and exhale deeply. It’s alright. It’s Jungkook who you’re talking about. You’ve always known how to act around him. Right now it’s no different.

Finally, you knock on the door.

“J-Jungkook?” You call, your voice failing slightly.

No response. 

Weird. Jimin made sure that Jungkook wouldn’t be working anymore at this hour.

“Jungkook, it’s me. Can we… can we talk, please?” You say a little bit louder, knocking on the door once more. You can't hear any noise coming from inside the room. Come on, Jungkook. You have to open the door before any security guard can drag me away from here. 

Your breathing is difficult. Your hands are trembling slightly. It feels that the floor is opening holes under your feet.

"Jungkook, I know you're mad at me. But please… please, let me at least explain myself." It's stupid how you already feel your eyes welling up with tears. Since when you became such a cry baby? Your chest tightens, hurts. "Y-You can't just leave me outside your room like this. Stop being a jerk. I need to tell you… I-I need to tell you that I lo-"

"Y/N?"

You freeze.

You turn around, looking at the exact opposite room in the hallway.

It's him.

Jungkook still holds the doorknob, indicating that he just opened it. He's barefoot, wears shorts and a long sleeved shirt, all black. His damp hair falling slightly over his eyes indicates that he probably just took a shower.

His eyes are so widened that it looks like they're about to pop out of his face.

He sincerely looks at you like you're the weirdest thing he has ever seen in his life. 

"W-What-" he stutters, looking like he can't form a coherent sentence. "What the fuck?!"

You're still frozen in place.

You turn around again, looking at the door you were knocking on.

Room 23.

You look back at Jungkook again - the sign on his door.

Room 32.

"Oh." Is all you can say.

Shame suddenly makes your shoulders weight. You really, really hope there's no one inside Room 23. 

You both stand there, staring at each other with widened eyes like two scared chipmunks. Your neck and face feels very, very hot.

Jungkook looks like he's recovering from the shock. He didn't hear anything you said, apparently. 

"W-What exactly are you doing here?" Jungkook asks, tilting his head to the side. He frowns, looking at you like you're an exotic species. 

"Oh." You repeat. Your brain is malfunctioning. You step closer, simply showing him the plastic bag you're holding. "I-I brought you this."

His eyes go from you to the plastic bag and to you again. 

"It's banana milk." You explain hurriedly. He widens his eyes slightly. "I mean- it's this country's equivalent of banana milk, I guess. It's the closest thing I could buy in the vending machine."

Jungkook raises his hand slowly and takes it. He's moving carefully, as if this exotic species can jump on him and bite him at any moment.

"Did you take a 5 hour flight just to buy me banana milk?" 

"Yes." You agree mindlessly. You feel your entire body burning now. "A-And I also came here to talk, because your dramatic ass didn't let me speak the other day."

Jungkook quirks one eyebrow and crosses his arms slowly. "Alright. I'm listening to you now."

He stares at you very seriously. 

His gaze is overwhelming. It almost feels that you're getting small under his eyes. Gosh - you've been wanting to see him for days, but right now, when he's right in front of you, you can't say a damn thing, your brain completely overheating, your braincells melting. You thought you'd know how to act when you met him - but ha, guess what? You don't.

And that motherfucker is just standing there, waiting for you to speak. Just staring at you.

You hold the doorknob in a swift moment and close the door on his face, just letting enough of it open so he can still hear you.

"What-?" He gasps from inside the room.

"Shut up, okay?! I just can't speak looking at you right now." You hold the doorknob so tightly that your knuckles get white. You hate the way your voice is trembling and you hate the way your sight can't really focus on anything around you - that's just how nervous you are.

Jungkook doesn't say anything. You feel him leaning on the other side of the door, waiting patiently.

You inhale and exhale heavily.

"You got so fucking angry at me when I said you were my best friend that night.” You start, not really knowing where you’re going with this. You don’t even know if it’s possible to convey everything you feel through words only. “But you know, it’s- it’s true. You are my best friend. But what you didn’t let me explain is that you’re not just my best friend.”

Your heartbeat thunders on your ears at each word. You can’t see Jungkook’s expression, and at the same time it helps you keep talking, it also makes you more anxious. 

“Y-You’ve been with me through everything. You were there with me when I broke my arm when we were kids, and you were there to help me when I thought I wouldn’t get into college, and you were there with me to celebrate when I got into college. It’s even embarrassing that you’ve seen all of my lowest moments.” You rest your head on the door, staring at the carpet under your feet. The first tears roll down your cheeks. “You know everything about me and sometimes I hate it. You’re like… fuck, I hate how cheesy this sounds, but you’re like a part of me. A-And you’re the best part, because- I don’t know how to explain, but you’re always the one making my average self want to be more.”

Normal you would never say something like this. You’re far from being an emotional person and you’re shit with words. But right now you’re crying and sniffling and trembling and you can’t shut your mouth anymore.

“Please, you have to believe me. I would never purposefully hurt you. Whenever I see you sad I die a little bit inside, and to know that I was the cause of your sadness is fucking killing me. It’s killing me.” You sob. “I don’t want to be the cause of your sadness ever again. I-I want to return all the good things you’ve done to me. So, please… I know I’m a pain in the ass to deal with, b-but if you’d let me be by your side… if you’d just bear me a little bit longer until I become someone that you’d want to be with-”

Jungkook opens the door. 

You hear him whispering under his breath wait, wait, wait, interrupting you. Gently, he puts his hands on your arms and pulls you inside the room, closing the door right after, so now your back is against the door - right in front of him.

He stares at you, lips parted, eyebrows slightly knitted together. He looks stunned. Very, very confused. And very hopeful.

His starry eyes are welling up with tears.

“What… what do you mean with all this?” Jungkook asks softly. He almost sounds scared. “What do you really mean?”

You stare at him in silence. His beautiful face. His beautiful self. 

You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.

“I love you.” you confess, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I fucking love you. I’m sorry that I took so long to realize.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen.

The next thing you know is that his lips are against yours.

He drops the plastic bag full of banana milk on the floor, holding the back of your neck with one hand and pressing your body against his with the other. He tastes like toothpaste and tears; you can barely breathe, adrenaline rushing through your bloodstream, your fingers grabbing the strands of his damp hair.

When he finally lets go of your lips, you’re both out of breath and trembling.

Then, he smiles - and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

He wipes the tears away from your cheeks as his own cheeks are wet with tears. His eyes are smiling too, and you think that you want to keep that smile forever.

“Y-You have… you have no idea of how long- how long I dreamed of hearing this,” Jungkook says quietly, his voice cracking a little bit. He giggles, frowning his eyebrows slightly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing right in front of him. “I can’t believe you took a fucking plane to bring me banana milk! How can I stay mad at you when you do this type of thing?!”

You start giggling too. His warmth, his scent of baby powder, the way his eyes are shining as much as diamonds - this is something you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t know you’d ever have.

“God- I fucking love you, too.”

Your heart feels filled.

You smash your lips on his again.

It’s desperate and intense and makes your senses completely dizzy.

You feel the backpack dropping from your shoulders right before Jungkook lifts you up as if you weigh nothing and you circle your legs around his waist. Without breaking the kiss, he carries you to where the bed is, sitting down with you on his lap. 

Adrenaline and excitement washes over your body in anticipation. It’s even familiar at this point - his gaze clouded with want, your heavy breathings, hands grabbing and caressing everywhere they can find. Jungkook moans quietly against your lips as you grip his hair tightly, humping your clothed core very slowly against his growing erection.

“I missed you so fucking much,” he whispers in that deep voice that makes goosebumps run down your skin, his lips against your neck as he kisses and sucks it. You giggle.

“We fucked just a few days ago,” you point out.

“I miss this everyday. All the time.” 

You hold his face, forcing him to look at you.

You might be shit at words, you might not know how to express yourself that well. But one thing you know better than anyone else is how to make him feel good.

So, softly, you push him back until you’re hovering above him and he’s propped up by his elbows.

You don’t say anything. You just smile and start to take his shirt off.

He doesn’t complain.

Your hands roam his exposed skin as you kiss and suck his neck gently. While your lips are still glued on his neck, one of your hands travels to caress his clothed member. Quiet moans come from the back of his throat. Slowly, you kiss your way down his chest and stomach - until you’re kneeled in front of his opened legs.

Jungkook is breathing heavily in anticipation. Maybe it’s the sole sight of you biting your bottom lip as you manage to get his member free from his boxers and shorts that makes it throb. He has to gulp when he sees you spitting on his dick, the feeling of your spit trickling down his member making goosebumps roam his skin.

You hold his member and start to bump it slowly at first - which makes waves of pure pleasure wash over Jungkook, stunning his senses. He hisses when your lips envelop the head of his cock, sucking it. His eyes are half lidded, lips slightly parted, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps. He looks so beautiful as he’s being pleasured.

You start taking more of him inside your mouth until you feel him on your throat; Jungkook moans louder. You bob your head up and down his length, taking turns between sucking and bumping his member with your hand, your spit making it easier and producing obscene sounds. Jungkook hisses and groans and moans and then he’s grabbing your hair, making you take more of him inside your mouth. You don’t complain. You just want to make him feel the best he has ever felt.

This time, though, it’s being much quieter than what it usually is. Jungkook just swears a little under his breath. No dirty talking. 

His face and neck are covered with blush, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead, his face distorted with pure pleasure. His moans are getting more constant and louder. You wouldn’t mind if he cummed in your mouth right now, but Jungkook hisses and takes his hand off your hair.

“Oh my God- stop. Stop. Come here, babe.”

You decide to just do as he said. As soon as you prop your knees on each side of him, Jungkook sits up again and starts to get rid of your clothing hurriedly - first your pants, then your coat and shirt. When he unclasps your bra, he immediately takes one of your breasts on his mouth, making you moan quietly. His hand pushes your panties to the side to meet your already wet core; you moan louder as he gently caresses it. You unconsciously start moving your hips against his hand, his movements adding more pressure over your clit, his lips still licking and sucking your breasts.

Jungkook decides this was enough to get you wetter. He pushes your panties to the side, holds both sides of your hips as you guide his member to your entrance.

Both of you moan as he enters.

You close your eyes tightly, the feeling of being stretched by him so familiar and so delicious. Steadying yourself on his shoulders, you start to guide yourself up and down on him, never breaking eye contact, watching him carefully. Every deep moan coming from him makes you shiver. The pleasure, the sound of skin hitting skin - how many times have you done it before? You don’t even remember. Yet, right now, it somehow feels fresh and new. 

Maybe it’s because there’s more in Jungkook’s eyes than just lust. Maybe it’s because you notice how he watches you with adoration. And maybe it’s because you watch him with the same intensity, the same feeling.

Jungkook grabs the skin of your hips tightly as you increase your pace. He loves your face contorted in pleasure, he loves the sight of your boobs jumping at each move, he loves to feel the soft skin of your ass on his hand. He loves it. Both of you are really sweating now. You kiss him deeply, never decreasing your pace, your tongues entangling around each other, grabbing the strands of his hair.

God, how much he loves it.

He loves it much more now, because he sees how this time, he’s not the only one feeling something beyond physical pleasure. He knows you too damn well. It’s just like that morning at your house. You’re feeling it, too. 

You love him, too.

Thinking about it makes him smile. You think it’s simultaneously the hottest and the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook simply circles his arms around your waist and completely switches positions, throwing you on your back on the bed, which makes you giggle. He finally gets rid of your panties and hovers over you, thrusting inside of you once again.

His pace is fast and steady from the beginning. Your moans get higher and higher, louder and louder. You love how his face is so close to yours, how strongly he’s hitting you, how he tightly intertwines his fingers with yours (Jungkook really is the type to intertwine his hands when having sex!)

It’s ridiculous how you feel your eyes welling up with tears in a moment like this.

This moment… It’s not just bodies connecting - it’s souls. 

You used to think you and Jungkook didn’t match; you were opposites in many ways. Jungkook is an introvert, you are an extrovert. Jungkook prefers quiet places, you prefer parties. Jungkook works out, you’re too lazy to do so. Jungkook hates coffee. You can’t live without it.

But, it’s in this moment - when he’s inside of you, when all of your senses are stunned by pure pleasure, when everything you can smell is him and everything you can hear is the sounds of bodies against bodies and when everything you can see is his beautiful starry eyes looking right back at you - is when you realize how wrong you were all along.

You’re like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. They need to be different to match. They are different, but when you put them two together, they complete each other.

You’ve always matched.

Seulgi didn't expect to find Jungkook standing in the kitchen when she came home.

Of course - you told her that the flight back home was scheduled at night and you'd probably arrive in the morning. This shouldn't be surprising. Yet, Seulgi still widens her eyes when she sees Jeon Jungkook cooking breakfast, his hair a mess, his face slightly swollen - an indication that he just woke up - wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.

He turns around and smiles. "Oh! Y/N didn't tell me you were coming back so early." He sounds a little bit surprised.

Seulgi notices it immediately.

That smile on his face and those gleamy eyes are just shown by someone that had a long, steamy and tiring night of sex.

Sure, Seulgi knows that you and Jungkook made up - and that you've been fucking for months now - but damn, it's still shocking to see it with her own eyes, considering that you only looked like good friends.

"I didn't know I'd come back early, too." Seulgi says, sitting by the tiny kitchen counter. She was expecting to spend the weekend at Irene’s penthouse, but she had to work. This is one of the reasons why Seulgi loves Irene; Irene could just enjoy her fortune and do nothing, yet, she decides to actively work for the company. She’s admirable.

"Do you want breakfast?" He asks over his shoulder.

"Well… I already had breakfast, but this is smelling really good." She admits. Jungkook nods and proceeds to prepare one more portion. She just watches in silence as he works around the kitchen (and she's also surprised that he knows where everything is, every pot, every spoon, literally everything). He hums quietly, that tiny satisfied smile never leaving his lips. 

Seulgi thinks she has never seen him so happy.

It's kind of adorable.

"So, how was your job?" She asks.

"It was great!" Jungkook says excitedly. He chuckles. "I thought I was going to be the assistant of the assistant, but actually I was everyone's assistant. I didn't really do much, but it was great anyways. It's totally different to study about it and see how things work in real life."

Before Seulgi says anything, she sees you coming from your bedroom.

Your face is swollen and your eyes are barely opened; it seems you're not even seeing where you're going. Your hair is a complete mess. You wear one of Jungkook's shirts and Seulgi suspects you're not wearing anything under it.

She watches as you walk on a beeline straight to Jungkook and hug him from behind, burying your face on his back.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" At least that's what she thinks you said, because your voice sounds muffled.

"Because you looked so funny that I didn't want to wake you up." He says softly. Seulgi can hear his smile. "You were drooling and all. I even took some pictures."

"You didn't."

"I did." Jungkook giggles when you punch his back, but still keep your body glued on him. 

"Fuck you. What are you cooking anyways? It smells too fucking good." You mumble.

"It's my special recipe." Jungkook moves to take something on the cabinet. You go along. "I can't cook if you keep smashing me like this."

"I don't caaare."

"Since when do you like hugging so much?"

"You didn't know girlfriend Y/N. Girlfriend Y/N likes long hugs."

Jungkook chuckles again. "Nice to meet you, Girlfriend Y/N."

Seulgi just stares, jaw dropped. From all the things she thought she’d see in her life, this is the most unexpected.

This is so cheesy. So not you. Not even when you were dating Mike you were like this. 

And Jesus- she has never seen you look happy like this.

You turn your head to look at Seulgi, and she watches awkwardly as you let go of Jungkook and proceed to walk in her direction. You kind of look like a really happy zombie.

“Oh, good morning, Seul. Don’t be jealous. I love you toooo.”

And you throw your arms around her shoulders, hugging her so tightly that she almost falls from the stool.

The only person that doesn’t get shocked at your relationship is your mother.

You casually called her just to talk and gave the news. What she said?

“Well, finally.” 

Everyone else is utterly shocked.

When Hoseok saw you kissing each other goodbye the other day - it was just a peck - his eyes got so wide that it seemed they were about to pop out of his face. He stared at you and him, completely shocked, as Jimin just laughed. That was pretty much everyone’s reaction.

You and Jungkook were never the type to be too touchy. It’s still kind of awkward to hand hold in public or call each other things like babe or love. You physically cringe just thinking of calling him “babe”, honestly.

It’s weird, because you’re “officially” dating now, but your relationship isn’t all that different. All the overwhelming awkwardness between you is gone (thankfully), so now you do what you always did; you swear at each other, you have your violent ways of showing affection, he still ghosts you because he’s too busy playing whatever game. The only difference is that now you can fuck without feeling guilty (and oh boy, you’ve been fucking a lot these days) and there’s a lot of kissing. There wasn’t that much kissing back then.

You thought it was impossible, but sex is even better now. It’s more exciting and even funnier - especially because there’s no awkwardness weighting in the room after you both reach your climaxes. Instead, there’s giggles and hugs and soft kisses. You also sleep at each other’s places now, which is good.

To be honest, if you think really hard about it, you’ve been lowkey dating for years. It’s just that now, you fuck a lot. 

When you tell him this, Jungkook just chuckles. You don’t think he’s really listening to what you’re saying, though - nor you’re thinking straight anymore. You went out with your friends at a karaoke and, as expected, ended up drinking way too much; you and Seulgi had a singing competition in which none of you won (Irene just sat there looking absolutely embarrassed), Jimin sang a little bit but disappeared at some point (Jungkook said he noticed some hot guy in the side room), Hoseok got so emotional singing Haru Haru by BigBang that he started crying as Seokjin laughed so hard he almost choked, and Jungkook didn’t sing at all (because everybody knew he’s actually good at it and he would humiliate everyone else), until Jungkook silently asked if you wanted to leave (and you did) and you two left before anyone could notice (they were too drunk to notice anyway).

Since he’s drinking, you took a bus. The wrong bus. You’re at the other side of the city now, sitting on the bench of a park, watching the sun rise. It sounds romantic, but really, everything you see is heavy traffic and the grey pollution line in the horizon, almost blocking the sun.

Not that you care.

“We did everything backwards.” Jungkook says, his voice low and a little bit husky. His eyes look heavy because of the alcohol. You love how his hair is tied in a tiny ponytail. “People usually are friends first, then go out on dates, then they fuck.”

“We jumped straight to the fun part!” You say as if it’s obvious. He giggles again. 

Peaceful silence. Jungkook watches your intertwined hands sitting on his lap, a small smile on his face. You can see that, even though he’s right by your side, his mind must be far, far away. He’s clearly sleepy. It’s silly - you know this guy almost your entire life, you already have memorized each detail about him - but you can’t take your eyes off of him right now.

You inhale.

“You know.” You start absently. “I saw the video.”

Jungkook frowns and looks at you. “What video?”

You’re trying really hard to hold back a smile.

“I think it’s called euphoria final test I swear to God.”

His eyes widen.

“W-What? Who showed you?!” He groans. “Jimin. Oh my God- I’m gonna fucking kill him!”

You start laughing as you see blush creeping on his cheeks and ears. He hides his face behind his hands and moans painfully.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” You ask, endeared, trying to get his hands off from his face, but he won’t let you.

“You weren’t supposed to watch that! It’s- it wasn’t- ugh!”

“But the song is beautiful, Kook!” You try, still laughing.

“Yeah, the song is alright, but the video?”

“What’s wrong with the video?”

He finally side eyes you for a few seconds. The blush on his cheeks gets redder. He hides his face again, groaning.

“You weren’t supposed to find out about that. Shit, I can’t look at you anymore. I wanna fucking die.”

“Stop being so dramatic!” After a lot of effort, you finally manage to cup his face with your hands. Still, he avoids your gaze. “Hey, hey. Look at me!”

He does.

He looks sheepish and it’s adorable.

“I loved it. Every second of it. You’re so damn talented.”

“B-But I didn’t write the song alone… Namjoon takes most of the credits with the lyrics. I just helped a little bit. A-And you know, it was just for fun, it’s not an official demo or anything-”

He’s forced to shut up when you peck his lips.

“I love you.”

He knits his eyebrows a little bit.

“You like to say this a lot.” He notices quietly. “I didn’t know you were this type of person.”

“I’m not.” You agree. “But it’s because it’s you.”

You’ve been “officially” dating for, what, almost two weeks now? People usually don’t say “I love you” this early. But this isn’t the beginning for you two. It’s more like a progression. It feels natural, like it has always been with him.

It feels like home.

Jungkook avoids your gaze again. The blush hasn’t gone away. “I don’t know what to do when you say things like that- why are you crying?!”

It’s Jungkook’s time to laugh at you as you try to wipe the tears away. He pulls you to rest your head on his chest, hugging you tightly.

“I am supposed to be the emotional one here, not you.” He says, still laughing.

“Shut up. I’m drunk.” 

“Yeah, sure.” His laughter slowly dies until it’s just a quiet giggle. You feel his scent, hear the beating of his heart. Jungkook kisses the top of your head gently, caressing your back. “I’m gonna be so embarrassed when I remember I said this tomorrow,” he says softly against your hair. “But I think I’ve loved you ever since that first day of school when we bumped into each other on our way.”

You bury your face on his chest even more.

Everything around you is blurred and distant. It seems that nothing really matters besides right here, right now - as if you’ve never realized what you’ve been waiting for your whole life. This moment.

Him.

The puzzle is finally complete.

[adelior]

Name: Unconditionally

Author: R. Adelio

Genre: Romance, Minecraft, Comedy, Fluff

Main Lead: Technoblade, Dreamwastaken, DreamXD

Female Lead: Reader

Chapter: 3

Special Addition: Tchnomaid, Blob Dream, Accidental Marriage To Technoblade

Letters: 8,087

Tag: Territorial Behavior, Delusional Behavior From Wilbur, Wilbur Slowly Tipping Away Into Madness, Fluff, Possessiveness, Deep Kisses, Blob Dream

<- ->

Wilbur stood up, his fists clenching. You noticed the odd behavior coming from the brunette, it was unusual for him to look so stressed, and on top of that bothered. "Wil, what's wrong? You can't just lie to me if something is happening" You caught the way his fists tightened. "Don't worry, it's nothing."

He gave you a reassuring smile, turning to the door and leaving you behind with a questionable expression on his face. Wilbur looked pissed, but what could it possibly be that made him this distressed.

° ° °

"M-Mm.." You whimpered, eyes closed as the being kept exploring your mouth with its tongue. His eyes narrowed, enjoying the way your body reacted so naturally to his. "So obedient even in your slumber." The blonde complimented but stopped in his tracks when he sees a man in the corner of his eye.

XD quickly became defensive, hiding your unconscious body under his cloak. "What the.." Wilbur's eyes widened, teeth pulled back into a snarl. "LET HER GO-" The God chuckled, softly patting your head from above his cloak. "A mere human, ordering me to submit what is mine? How ridiculous." He said as he looked down, admiring your kissable lips.

"I'll fucking kill you if you don't let her go."

° ° °

Even thinking back to what he saw gave him the shivers. A God, specifically DreamXD being infatuated with a human? And not just any human, but it just had to be you, someone who he sees as more than just a friend. "Fuck." He cursed under his breath as soon as he exited your room. Once he was far away he punched the nearest wall. "DAMNIT."

"Wilbur..-?" Tommy's voice softened, he was about to call out to him but decided that maybe it wasn't a good idea. "What do you want Tommy?!" Wilbur screamed, stepping back once he realized that he had raised his voice. "Sorry, I'm just.. Stressed from all of this" He chuckled, stroking his bangs back with a sigh.

"That's.. fine? But enough from that man, what are we gonna do about the problem? We can't fucking contact Techno or Phil without actually going to where they are"

"Tommy, I'm well aware that it'll take days for us to get there but it's alright. As long as we resolve this problem we shouldn't complain about it."

"What about [Name]? Will we bring her along?" The kid asked, a hopeful look in his eyes. Soot knew how much Tommy wanted you to experience the world, more than anybody else. "We aren't bringing her, neither are we bringing anybody else. It'll just be us two."

"WHAT? Bro, I'm gonna fucking starve out there. Not to mention it's gonna be cold as fuck in that damn tundra." He complained, childishly stomping his feet on the ground. "Tommy, it's for the sake of everyone, for us. Now, will you join me or not?"

Tommy pondered but eventually gave in with a grumble. "Fine, we better stop by at Tubbo's place when we're heading out"

"Deal."

° ° °

"If you need anything just let me know," Niki said in a soft voice, pressing her hand against your neck, checking if you have a fever. "Niki- I'm not sick so it's okay!" Despite your words, she still looked somewhat puzzled. As if she couldn't connect something but was restricted to tell you. "Well, alright! I'll be at my cottage so just ping me whenever"

"Alright" You responded. "I'll make sure to keep that in mind" She smiled, turning to exit your room. "Is she doing okay?" Tubbo asked in a worried tone, earning a nod from the passing female. "Thank god.." Sighing, he walked in once Niki left the room. The goat hybrid came closer to where you sat on your bed, his hands behind his back.

"Tubbo?"

"Yeahhhhhh?" He dragged his words along, smiling happily as if he's waiting for you to ask what he was hiding, it made you laugh. "Haha, what's in your hand?"

"Oh, this?!" Tubbo happily revealed the flower crown, one that he crafted himself. It took a few hours, but he was able to pick out your favorite flowers on his way back during their exposition. "Wait... Is that for me-" He nodded, gently placing the flower crown on your head. "It suits you! I hope you like it"

"Like it? I LOVE IT TUBBO! Thank you! When did you even have time to make this?" You asked, earning a confident 'hah' from the boy. "I was able to pick out a few of your favorite flowers on our way back. I saw them so I asked Wilbur if I was allowed to bring them home"

Too sweet, you thought. Tubbo was a child who always looked at you with stars in his eyes. It was as if you were one of the many thousands of pulsars that adorned the limitless sky, something that he always admired. "Look I even made one for me, so now we match," He said as he showed his own, one that was decorated in yellow, black, and white flowers.

"How does it look?" Tubbo asked with a sheepish smile. "It looks amazing" You returned the same expression, causing the boy to laugh in satisfaction. "Fuck yeah!"

"Tubboooooooo" Fundy said as he peeked from the door, waving at both you and the male. "We gotta go out now, didn't you say you wanted bees for your bee farm?"

"OH YEAH!"

"Bee farm-" You stared at the brunette with a baffled look on your face. "Oh sorry I didn't tell you, but I'm planning to make a bee farm! I love bees"

Smiling, you waved both of them off. It was always nice to hear Tubbo express his liking for bees. You couldn't blame him for liking them, after all, they were cute when they didn't viciously attack you. "Man now I feel fucking old" You muttered, falling back onto your pillows. "Not to mention, everyone has something to do apart from me"

'Damn that just makes me seem like a freeloader' You thought in your head, smirking at how stupid it was. "Wait I could help farm the Nether Warts-" With that, you quickly changed your clothes and head towards the Nether Portal room. 'I could at least do this. And if I get caught I could just say that I'm preparing ingredients for future potions that I'll be brewing.'

You praised yourself, patting your hand against your right shoulder with a smug smile. 'I'm so smart'

Minutes passed, and you've been working away with growing the Nether Wart farm that's been installed beside the Portal. You managed to harvest at least a stack or two before you became tired. It was more tiring than you expected, but you didn't care. Being able to move around was better than sitting in a singular spot.

"Farming Nether Wart sure is tiring huh?" A male voice asked. "It sure is, takes a lot more strength to pull them out compared to normal crops." You replied, groaning. "That may be true but did you know you could easily harvest them if you heated the roots with lava?"

"Oh, rea- WHAT THE FUCK" You realized how familiar the voice was once your brain started to regain energy after all the moving. "You scared the shit out of me Clay-"

"My bad~" He smirked, pushing himself off of the Nether Portal that was.. lit again..? But how, how did the portal appear again? "Since when did that portal reopen?" You questioned, walking past the male who was outstretching his arms, expecting a hug. "How the hell is this..-"

"Rude, I didn't even get a hello how are you hug?" You glared back at him, nodding to the portal that you were curious about, silently telling him to explain himself. "I wanted to see you again, so I thought I should light it."

"Light it? Are you saying you were the one to destroy that portal in the first pla-"

[SLAM]

You stiffened in your spot, back pressing against the wall as you feel Clay's staggered breaths fan over your face. "You know... You should be grateful I came all the way here just to see you, on top of that with an.." He stumbled forward, body leaning over yours as he continued to breathe heavily.

"Hey, are you oka- CLAY YOU'RE BLEEDING-"

"It's fine." The man breathed out, lips dangerously close to your neck. "What do you mean it's fine?! Let me heal you with potions are you insane?!"

"Just.." His voice softened, body slowly getting smaller and smaller. "Let me rest.."

[POOF]

'Huh' You stood there confused, a gust of wind blowing in your direction. He was gone, and what was left was a white blob that happily pressed its cheeks against your neck. "What the- FU-"

<- ->

ec: @quacobs (instagram)

[coe-lilium]

What are some biographies/general books you would recommend about Joan of Arc/Jeanne D'Arc? Thank you for your time and I hope you have a great day.

Hi! :D Delighted to help! 

Despite them being rather dated (1960ish-1990ish) and at the risk of sounding like a broken record anytime someone ask me this I'll happily say "each and every thing by Regine Pernoud", without reservation. 

Pernoud wrote no less than ten books on Jeanne, from your "standard" general biography to little volumes focused on her faith&spirituality, the siege of Orleans or on the vis-a-vis with Pierre Cauchon.

The main books of hers I'd suggest are these three (I don't know what languages you know so I kept the list strictly to english):

Joan of Arc: Her story, this is your “standard yet excellent biography” option

Joan of Arc: by herself and her witnesses

The retrial of JoA. The evidence for her vindication, which analyses the titular retrial

Quoting an old post of mine about the last two books of this list: 

While others focus on a single moment or aspect of her life both of those cover her adventure from start to finish and more importantly report the transcripts of both her trials, so we read her words, or her friends and family and enemies directly.  

With all the… inevitable fuss going around her figure I think going straight for the protagonists words is the best we can do (plus, this way you get all the everyday-life, domestic stuff and anecdotes that make them fell alive and close to us. I -for one- absolutely expected her to have been a tomboy/rebel before I read this and remember being blow away by the reality that emerged. I expected a heroine cliché and met a woman).

I’ll quote a bit of “by herself” final commentary of the author: 

It has often being regretted that Joan, a girl full of life and sap, should be known to us only and paradoxically in lawyer’s jargon. We confess that we do not share this regret. In a case which is so very out of the ordinary […] is it well that the documents which are our sources should be as strictly factual as possible […] No historian could possibly have the same measure of confidence in a chronicle - in which the facts are invariably seen through the deforming prism of the author’s ideas, temperament and point of view - as he can have in a sworn affidavit”.        

Both books have introductions/clarifications in their chapters along with the transcripts, notes to clarify the political climate or this or that other person’s biography and their role and both address some controversies, like the one about Jeanne’s “actually noble” origins. 

Pernoud can get a bit polemical when doing this, especially with the “she was a puppet” or the the “she was crazy/delusional” groups, but not in a smug way, more in a “let’s see if this make sense based on the documents”.

[end quote]

I also read and liked the short book on her spirituality, although to my knowledge it was never translated in english. In the -unlikely, I realize- case you knew italian and were interested, I could send the pdf your way.

Another good book is Franco Cardini's Giovanna d'Arco. La vergine guerriera, which has at least one chapter entirely focused on the various scientific hypothesis/theories/explanations of her visions. The problem with this one is that I can't find out if it was ever translated, sorry!

My last suggestion isn’t a book but a website: 

https://www.jeanne-darc.info/, which tries to collect and offer as much as free, documented historical information on her as possible. Aside from campaigns and trials, it’s got pages for her sword, the banner, her armor and clothes, with photos of plausible reproductions, addressing of controversies, debunks etc etc. It can’t work as a full alternative to a biography/monograph written by an historian but it’s very well done. 

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Excuses

Summary: Getting your attention requires a little creativity.

Genre: Fluff

Warning: Mild language

Word Count: 1,327

* * * * * *

Picking the clipboard up off the counter, your eyes scanning over the notes that’d been taken. Doctor Cho had asked you to come check on her most recent patient as something else came up.

A disbelievingly amused chuckle leaves your lips at the name you read across the patient signature and with a shake of your head you head toward the patient room. 

“Trying a hand at cooking again huh?” You ask in approaching.

Natasha smiles abashedly, eyes glancing down at her currently bloody hand, the source of the mess presented as the cut on her finger.“ I was just slicing vegetables and Clint fell from the goddamn ceiling.” She explains herself, still not meeting your gaze.

“May I?” You ask with a small smile as you nod to her injured hand.

She nods, her nervousness not missed by you, but you say nothing of it. This was, maybe the fourth time Natasha has been in here this month alone with a small injury. 

Doctor Cho had teasingly mentioned that your presence had an affect on the ex-assassin. Her main evidence being that Natasha rarely turned up in the med bay, for a number of reasons: one she didn’t like people seeing her “weak,” and two, her injuries were usually self manageable. 

Yet recently she’d been here almost as much as Peter, and with the way that kid messed around and trained that was saying something. Doctor Cho suggested she has a crush on you but you laughed it off. 

There’s no way the gorgeous, badass, Natasha Romanoff liked your dorky self. 

Natasha nearly melts at the gentle way you tend to her. Fingers barely brushing her skin but leaving a hot trail behind them. If you weren’t so focused on patching her up you’d surely have seen the blush on her cheeks. 

“Doc, can I ask you a question?” Her low voice hits your ears after a prolonged silence and you resist the urge to jump at it’s unexpectedness. 

Catching her eye, you chuckle,“ I’m just a nurse Miss Romanoff, but yes you can.” You then grabbing the roll of gauze. Her cut wasn’t too bad but no band aid would cover the whole thing and it needed to be cover for at least two days.

“Well for one, I’m just Natasha,” she gets the privileges of seeing your flushed cheeks and it makes her smile brighten,“ what made you accept the job here?”

You bite your lip,“ apart from Sharon’s glowing recommendation? I don’t know.” you shrug,“ I just thought, if you guys are out there saving everyone else I could be here to save you.”

Goddammit! If she wasn’t already crazy about you that sure as shit did it. That single statement sounded more heroic than the honor speeches she’d heard Steve give and that man is heroic. 

“Was that not the answer you were looking for?” You ask at her silence.

Her head shakes frantically and her lips tug up at the corners,“ it was perfect actually. I wasn’t expecting it but you’re very kind.” 

You jokingly swipe across your forehead,“ thank god. I’d been practicing it for ages.”

When Natasha laughs your stomach turns. God how you wished you could hear the sweet sound a million times over. And the smile that came with it makes your heart flutter.

“All done. Don’t leave it uncovered for too long but make sure that you do let it breathe. And as usual no scratching.” You advise.

The urge to pout at having to leave you is fought off. But of course she doesn’t let that be the last time. 

Over the next two weeks Natasha comes in and out of the mad bay. For a range of things: a headache, shoulder pains, a minor burn on her hand from experimenting again. 

Each visit she asked questions about you and your passion for the medical field. She laughed with you and smiled when she got you flustered. And each visit you saw more and more of that crush Doctor Cho was talking about. 

You’d contemplated whether or not to do something about it as you clearly like her as well. But it isn’t until today that you decide to. 

Natasha comes in again, this time with cold like symptoms, that are fake, but you don’t call her out on it. In fact it’s a little adorable how she keeps pretend sniffling and burrowing into the blanket you gave her. 

“Sadly there’s no cure to the common cold, just some symptom relief remedies. Over the counter medicine, rest, and lots of fluids. Preferably hot beverages.” A moment of hesitation passes but her soft green gaze on you pushes that away with ease.“ Maybe I could help out with that, take you to get a cup of coffee, or tea if you prefer?”

She freezes at your question. Her eyes widening before she looks down at the tiled floor. Out of all the things she expected you to say, this was the worst.

Not for her by a long shot, she’d love nothing more than to go out with you, to be with you and hold your hand and go on dates. No this was the worst decision for you. You’ve saved lives, herself included, and she’d done the exact opposite.

While you were a source of hope to some she was the bringer of death. The Black Widow. What were they known for again? Killing their spouses after so long together. Natasha knows she’d never intentionally hurt you but spending so much time with you would surely taint the pureness that you are. And Natasha couldn’t handle being the reason your light had gone dark. 

“That’s not a good idea.” She mumbles. 

The confusion that surges through your head nearly gives you a headache. She doesn’t want to go out with you? Had you read everything wrong? Are you delusional? Was her flirting and excuses to come see you all in your head?

Frowning, you step away from the redhead,“ o-okay. I’m sorry I just- I thought with all the flirting that maybe you- I’m sorry for reading into things.”

“No you didn’t read anything wrong,” with how sad and confused you look she has to assure you that you most certainly are not the problem.“ Y/n I do like you. I think you’re incredible and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t date me. I’m not the kind of person you should be with.”

Your frown deepens, if that’s possible,“ Natasha what? What kind of person do you think you are? Because I think you’re a hero. I’ve literally spent full nights watching over you and tending to your wounds because you hurt yourself trying to save people. Hell you’ve definitely saved more lives than me.”

The sigh she gives tells you that she isn’t convinced. And while you know it’s going to take more than just this single moment to truly change her opinion of herself, you had no reason to not try right now. 

“Natasha,” you step closer and take her cold soft hands in yours,“ you’re just as incredible as you claim me to be, if not more and I’d love to learn everything that makes you that way.” She looks up at your small smile.“ If not all you’re visits would’ve been a waste right.”

Her eyes widen for an entirely different reason this time. She had no idea you knew she’d been finding excuses to come see you. She was so sure that you were buying it. 

“I guess I’m losing my subtle touch huh?” 

“Just a little.” You tease back, squeezing her hand in yours.

With a deep breath in and a slow exhale, Natasha nods,“ I’d love to get coffee with you some time, as long as you let me treat.”

You narrow your eyes at her,“ deal, but, you have to promise not to keep hurting yourself. You no longer need an excuse to see me.”

“Alright, deal.”

[straycinameticuniverse]

REASONS WHY SEO CHANGBIN IS SEO CHANGBIN

I could have said reasons why changbin is amazing or whatever but being himself is the best compliment. I am only doing this because upon falling into a wormhole in quora I realised just how underappreciated he is and how is his achievements or talent are not only sidelined they are extremely ignored and that is beyond so I hope to fix that, I could write 15 pages about this man because he is magnificent but I wouldn’t even know where to start with it, so in a way it is easier for me to just make a quick list and call it a day, this is all factual and none of delusional, so get ready for some education.

• Seo Changbin is a lyrical genius and if you don’t agree it’s okay just go run into a tree or something solid. He has written some of my favourite songs e.g Neverending story, ex, sorry I like you, cause I like you, streetlight and… I am so big on emotional songs, like I die the second I feel a slow ballad coming up but also how he puts the whole thing together, my biggest weakness for changbin is in the lyrics, I could live and be nourished from his lyrics alone and this goes for anything he writes, even the raps…every single time, I would gladly listen to anything he says, like I bet he even snors with a special rhythm or something.

• His flow when he raps takes me tf out every time, listening to a stray kids song is already such a beautiful experience but then here comes this man with actual fire pouring out of his mouth, it’s wild. I am not even trying to overhype or whatever but I feel like this should be a fact, people should just know that changbin’s raps are straight fire and purely unmatched, they are the main reason I stuck with stray kids in the first place, I heard a couple of songs and his parts were all my favourites like yeah I know I am no professional in rap or music or whatever but I have ears and they are darn pleased everytime he comes on and that whole thing is worth everything, all in all I hope he knows he is a literal king, his rap game is dangerous, he is murdering every single thing in sight whenever he comes on and I’m willing to clean up the mess after.

• His singing voice is so sweet, it makes me such a soft human being. I have no idea how to stress this point further but whenever he sings its so soft and smooth and just sinks right into me and it makes sense, changbin’s singing voice makes sense, and not in the sense that he sings the way you’d expect when you look at him or hear him talk because no, I never assumed he sings the way he does from appearance, it was such a surprise, he just makes sense , like listening to the song and thinking…okay yeah this is exactly how it should sound, I get it, I understand and I am content. It’s simply beautiful and such a peaceful process and I wish I would more vocals from him because the few I have heard are always like little stolen moments.

• Stage presence, the best part of watching a performance is being captivated to the stage and let me just say that even if the stage was stripped bare and it was just him doing nothing but staring straight into the camera I would still be hooked, there is always this look in his eyes, and I have noticed that it changes with the atmosphere of the song, he has such appropriate facial expressions and body movements, I first fell victim to the more aggressive looks for his rap stages but even the soft and mellow songs he never misses. Changbin speaks volumes with his eyes and he makes each performance worth every single second. Part of the stage presence factor is his ability to ride the beat during the performance and this goes past just the dance routine set up for the song but the little moments of free style that the get, he always moves right on it and it’s even better on 3Racha stages which there are only a handful of but he really understand the damn assignment and my recent favourite would be the LOUD stage, if you haven’t seen it yet then I suggest you go look it up right after, it is worth it, he is always present.

• He is a nice person, according to the members and himself he is really just super considerate and nice with everyone around him, that’s the cherry on top, he doesn’t always look super approachable and I am going to blame that on the stage presence factor, because he is always so poised and intimidating on stage so you wouldn’t just assume he is the way the other members have stated, I do not remember the exact words but feel free to watch some of the two kids room or one kids room on youtube, I would recommend his one kids room in reference to him being nice and considerate, or really any of the episodes with him in them. It would just put everything together.

• He is such an effortless dancer, I always try to watch everyone during performances or videos which leads to me watching the videos multiple times but it’s all worth it, he always has such an elegant way of executing his dances, it’s a sight for sore eyes, after taking note of this, I instantly started trying to find him during performances and he is always doing what needs to be done, he doesn’t get enough credit for his dancing and it is weird, he has never disappointed and always delivers without fail, I haven’t looked for a dance compilation of him yet but I will be doing so right after this post and I encourage everyone to do the same.

Let’s not forget how hard working this man is, like babe, I don’t know how many times he has to say it but my baby works hard and it pays off each time, the composition of all these magnificent songs is worth it and I hope he knows we see him. At least I see him

• I wanted this to be the last thing I said because it’s not my main attraction to Seo Changbin but it has to be said. SEO CHANGBIN IS HOT and by hot I really just mean, boiling lava over a flame kind of hot, changbin is literally a man on a stove bruh nobody can touch him without shedding some skin. Be it him predebut or him not, he has always had the wow factor. And he can rock any and all hairstyles and I dare someone to challenge me, if he gets tattoos its really over for everyone, I swear to ya’ll I will die, like I don’t even know how anyone would expect me to go on after that, seo changbin is the main fvcking character and imam assume he gets minimum attention because people are intimidated by him.

Stay safe

Stay educated

Stay

[neokonewman]

Honestly? I think what tangled failed to do was make sure characters had good chemistry as friends. Seriously Cass and Rapunzel where like crude oil and the ocean. One single match from destruction. Season one is bottom barrel because it goes out of it's way to excuse Frederick for his shit. Season two was actually really good because Rapunzel was still herself and was making tough choices left and right. Season 3? Ohhhh boy. Season 3 was a half good half bad because while I do applaud her trying to bring her friend back into the fold? Cassandra wasn't wrong when she said "this has to stop now. This thing where you THINK you've been my friend". Cuz as far as I could tell? They were never friends. Hell even when being a slow burn villain, Varian had better friend chemistry with Rapunzel. When the show expects me to swallow "Cass and I are besties.and sisters!" whole sale? I'm not buying it.

Oooooh boy! This ask is just dripping with potential rant power. Sorry in advance for how long this answer is destinied to be!

First things first. I absolutely agree with you on how badly TTS handles chemistry amongst the main characters. Cass gets the worst of it because she is shoehorned as Rapunzel’s BFF off screen and suddenly she has equal sway on Rapunzel as Eugene? Her character can’t even be allowed to breathe most of the time because the show is obsessed with sticking her next to Rapunzel to the point that she can’t grow any further away from her. At least other show original characters like Lance and Varian have an actual introduction and a place in the world outside of Rapunzel, but even then they suffer because Rapunzel is upfront and center and there is very little wiggle room for interactions that don’t have at least have some involvement with her. It’s here where our opinions differ however.

I would make the bold claim by sayin that S1 of TTS is by far and away the best out of the three. Yes it has the glaring flaw of bias for Frederic and against Varian that makes me question whether or not it should be considered “good” but it’s much better balanced than the other two seasons that follow it. In S1 we actually get character who aren’t Rapunzel more chances to shine without her stealing the spotlight away at the last moment. In S1 we actually have an actual conflict that drives the story forward and at least pretends to care about developing the characters. Even the obnoxious bias could have still worked out in the shows favor if they were ever properly addressed in story and not swept under the rug like they were in later seasons. Heck, I would go as far as to argue that the worst parts of S1 is the fact that S2 and S3 make it worse retroactively.

S2 in my opinion is the dullest of the three, by a wide margin. With them never addressing what the mains left behind in S1 as well as taking the threat of the rocks away WAY too early, the conflict is particularly nonexistent. Not only that, but it does what I think is the worst thing a show can do during a season long journey. They never actually develop the world outside of Corona. They established that there are 6 other kingdoms in the alliance with Corona, but the most we get of any of them is the one throwaway line about them being close to the mountains of Koto in Freebird. Other than that we overstay in three separate places that end up being worthless to the plot as a whole. After spending three episodes in Vardaros right out the bat, we never return or what’s become of them afterwards. Them mains stranded on the Island is pretty dull and is only memorable to me because they had the guts of mentioning Varian again and established that Rapunzel STILL has an unhealthily delusional bias for Frederic despite of everything. The House of Yesterday’s tomorrow is just an excuse of shoehorning a bunch of magical hijink cliches that aren’t done very interesting. Heck, despite them spending a whole season getting to the Dark Kingdom, they only spend an episode and a half there and only a single night in universe. The rest of S2 is just filler that don’t even develop the characters or tell any interesting stories. Like, an enchanted forest episode even though the mid season finale takes place in another enchanted forest? A repeat of the first part of Tangled the movie with Cass replacing Eugene? Whatever the heck “Curses” was supposed to accomplish? The only thing interesting that S2 introduces is the Brotherhood, and we all know how little they are used afterwards.

I would also like to point out that at the start of S2, the mains just…. Stop developing almost entirely? Cass and Eugene never have any meaningful moments together like they do in S1, and are reduced to just taking potshots at each other to remind us that they have some sort of relationship. Lance is reduced strictly to comedic relief and in my opinion is just there to give Eugene something to do when he is removed from the plot because once again, the show is obsessed with making Rapunzel and Cass’ friendship be a thing that only matters. Hookfoot is just there to give his stand up routine about how marriage is terrible in the first episode of the season and just to exist afterwards, yet he SOMEHOW gets actual episodes focused on him while Lance suffers. Even characters properly introduced this season are cursed to never flesh out because Adira keeps pulling a vanishing act for no established reason, Hector is only gets any lines in his debut episode and never given any real focus again, and Edmund gets the same treatment as the other dads (except maybe Captain) by getting his entire character reduced to one trope later on in S3. Speaking of…

S3…. Ooooh boy S3. It’s not as boring as S2 for me, but that’s only because it’s a media equivalent of a train wreck that I couldn’t look away from. It’s like they took the two major issues of the past two seasons (the clear bias and shallow filler) and mashed them together while trying to savage it by inserting what worked in S1, (actual conflict) but completely missed the point why it worked in the first place. All pretense of caring about any other character other than Rapunzel and Cass is gone in this season. Even episodes that focus on anyone outside of Rapunzel, ends up ending with Rapunzel saving the day because she is the only one allowed to be heroic anymore.

They try to make Cass’ villain arc as complex as Varian’s but for some reason they think her blaming a literal baby for being kidnapped is enough grounds to go on a murder streak without one episode of hesitation. Lance is just there for bottom barrel dumb humor, yet the show thinks he is responsible enough to raise two kids on his own. Varian falls into the pigeon hole of just being the “kid character that hangs with the grown up mains” trope that he managed to avoid in S1 while also being just a plot device to not only give the mains access to tech, but also get shoehorned into scenes to keep the audience somewhat invested. Eugene is literal retconned in universe to be just a bland supportive boyfriend. Rapunzel, my gosh Rapunzel…. She treated is so painfully “perfect” to the point that she is completely unrelated. I’m not calling her a Mary Sue because they only ACT like she is perfect. She is still a hugely flawed human being, but the other characters just applaud her because she is “the magical, wonderous sundrop” and very little else. Also yes, Rapunzel being obsessed over Cass while playing off all the horrible actions her BFF as her being lost is the most frustrating thing ever. It’s as if she became Frederic from S1 and abandoned everyone else well being in favor of one person who doesn’t even want her attention, only worse because it’s made into a good thing. Again, S1 is made retroactively worse because of the seasons that follow it.

There is much more things wrong with S3 than S2, but honestly I find myself changing my mind a lot whether which one is objectively worse. Like making a show boring is arguably the worst thing you can do, but the choices, morals, and all around writing of S3 is just bad. Then again the writing in S2 is honestly pretty on par with S3 at times, so again, it’s a toss up.

Sorry again if this answer is a lot, but it was pretty fun at the same time. Thanks for the ask. ^^

[lizacstuff]

Your thoughts on the epi?

This episode was everything! I don't remember when I've enjoyed crying so much. The funny thing is, though, that I've found myself crying more while rewatching those scenes, than I cried during the first time I watched the episode. This episode will definitely rank among my favorites. Let's talk about the B and C characters and then get to Edser and, of course, Kiraz at the end. I spent the first 30 minutes resisting the urge to punch my screen anytime Ayfer was on it. Damn, I wanted to slap her silly. Could she have been any more annoying? Eda's a grown woman, if she is finally doing the right thing and telling the father of her child he's a dad, then be supportive instead of a screeching pain in the ass. When she actually said "I told you so" to an upset Eda... seriously? That is awful. What a bitter, joyless, petty individual. I was cheering for Melo every time she told Ayfer she was negative. Good! At least we know the other characters recognize how awful she is.

(I get long winded, so this continues under the cut)

Also what was with her going overboard to protect Burak's feelings over his delusional aspirations? Why shouldn't he understand that Serkan and Eda shared a great love and Melo is rooting for them to rekindle it? What does hiding that from him do? It's still true. Ayfer treats this dude as a member of the family, so he might as well know. I get his feelings might get hurt, but dude needs a reality check and to move on, and no matter how hard Ayfer hopes, Serkan in their lives or no, Eda is never going to want Burak. She's made that clear. If Ayfer likes him so much maybe she should marry him, that way at least Melo would be saved from his milquetoast presence.

Speaking of that, they were clearly trying to establish some sort of connection or vibe between him and Melo. So far, I'm not into it. If he's still so into Eda that Ayfer doesn't want him to have to hear about Eda/Serkan possibly reuniting, then he doesn't deserve Melo. Melo deserves someone who wants her, not someone who pines after someone out of his league and then settles for her bff once he realizes he never had a shot with the great beauty. We'll see how it develops, but he has the personality of damp carpet so I don't have high hopes.

Aydan was a little screechy this episode, but I cut her some slack since she just found out these traitors stole 5 years of her granddaughter's life from her. My friend @echoapothecary made a good point to me that Aydan deserves no sympathy for this since she didn't tell Eda Serkan was alive back in amnesia times, and I don't disagree with that. That move by Aydan pretty much tainted her character forever, and it's near impossible to come back from, but viewing this story in a capsule I do feel sorry for her. She wasn't a good mother to Serkan, but she does love him, and I think she craves family. The main point being, Serkan wasn't the only one who lost something significant by not knowing about Kiraz until now, Aydan did too. Perhaps we can say that losing the first five years of her granddaughter's life is her punishment for keeping the secret about Serkan, it's about as steep a penalty as one could pay. Talk about karmic retribution.

Also, since Serkan is apparently not going to impose any emotional tolls on any of the traitors for the secret that was kept from him, I'm glad Aydan did at least make her displeasure known and made some of the liars uncomfortable. Piril, at least, felt it, even if she won't suffer any real consequences. I kind of wanted Serkan to kick her out of the company. I really don't like that character and I think every time she's on screen she just sucks the life out of the show. Engin when he's in scenes with Serkan or Eda or Melo or Aydan or Erdem = Interesting. Engin when he's with Piril = Zzzzzzz.

Pina and Kerem were cute, but to be honest I really don't care. It's inoffensive and I get that we need B, C and D storylines to fill out two hours each week, so I'm good with it, but let's be real I'm only watching for the main event.

Speaking of... now to EDSER! I actually like that Serkan walked out and drove away after hearing the truth. I can only imagine what kind of shock and betrayal he must have felt at that moment, escaping must have seemed like his best option. What I liked even more is that Eda followed him. What a relief after the last episode where she was looking for any and every excuse not to tell him and then made the nonsensical decision to flee in order to avoid it. Too many times in the past between these two pride has gotten in the way. There was a time that Eda might have thrown up her hands at him leaving and pretended like it didn't hurt, that it didn't matter. I'm so glad those days seem to be over. One of the hallmarks of season 2 has been the improved communication (sans secret) between these two and this episode took that concept to a new level.

How heartbreaking to watch Eda plead with Serkan through the door, and how double-y heartbreaking to watch Serkan sitting on the floor, head bent, clearly in emotional agony. You could feel it coming off of him. Kudos to both Hande and Kerem who KILLED IT this episode. Seriously, their best work to date. Their chemistry is always on point, but the way they flawlessly work off of one another in every scene they share, whether it's deeply dramatic or something light and romantic is truly something special to behold. That's one reason why I don't get the folks who are so hung up in hating the season 2 plotline, that they can't appreciate any of this. Because this is the point. Giving these two artists deep and challenging scenes together and opportunities to make more magic. Watching them this season is honestly a privilege and I plan on enjoying every minute of it.

Despite Serkan's emotional turmoil, it was so like him to put the blanket over her and then sit across from her sleeping form as he indulged in some more brooding. However, I really appreciate that by the morning he was ready to talk to her. That conversation was hard, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who was jarred by him saying that he would have told her to get an abortion. In light of his later confessions, I think there's a few ways to take that. I think it was in part a nod to what an emotional mess he was at the time, and in part he said it to alleviate some of her guilt. Because even a betrayed and hurt Serkan cares so much about her, and he knows what he put who through at the time. Especially because at that moment he still had no plans to tell her the truth about why he broke up with her, he was still playing the part of the man who just didn't want children. So stubborn! Thank goodness that over the course of the next 12 hours he'll change his mind about that...

On another note, how happy did it make you to see Sirius? It made me pretty happy. He lives!!!!

From the moment Eda went to his hotel room the night before to confess all the way until they met again at the hotel, Eda really did everything right in how she approached him. However, once back in Sile, she makes her first critical error. It reminded me of the Eda in episode 29 who started pushing so hard at amnesia!Serkan and coming at him with such extreme emotion that he shut down. And that's what happened during that conversation on the beach. Eda needed to give him a little bit of time to come to terms with things, instead of forcing a conversation the first moment they saw one another. Good grief, what was she doing demanding answers from him hours after he found out? She knows this man! She knows that he plans every aspect of his life. So to spring on him that you hid a child from him for 5 years and he's a dad, is a LOT. I like that in a later scene he knows he reacted badly, and actually also says to her "What did you expect?" While his reaction wasn't great, it was also pretty predictable and she should have known to give him some time.

Speaking of the conversation on the beach, what a powerhouse scene for Hande. One note on it, that was the scene they had just shot when Hande and Kerem did their last IGlive on premiere day. The one where Kerem kept talking about how he was in a mood because of an intense scene they had just done. After watching I couldn't help but note that he, as Serkan, mostly just stood there stoically as Hande did all the emoting as Eda let loose on all the pent up emotion she'd been carrying both for years and with Serkan's fresh rejection. It speaks to both their personal and professional dynamic that he was so affected by her being in that state since he didn't do the heavy lifting in that specific scene. The way they are attuned to each other is probably a big reason they are so flawlessly in sync on screen.

I liked how they weaved the Kiraz/Baba scene in at the right time. That was one instance where Aydan, Seyfi and Engin's meddling was for the good, engineering a situation where Serkan was alone with his daughter. Also excellent comedy from Can, ratting out his dad about throwing ice cream on him. Good stuff. I like Engin-as-a-father scenes, I like Engin-as-a-friend scenes, I could just do without Engin-as-a-husband scenes. Anyway, Serkan needed time to adjust, but he also needed to be exposed to Kiraz so that he could view their prior unlikely bond through the new prism of fatherhood. It's telling how easily he slid into Dad territory with teaching her how to tie her shoes. He had been doing that all along, but at that moment he knew about the relationship and still did what was natural. He is ready to be her father, he just needs to realize he's worthy of it.

You can't blame Eda for not realizing it, but it was lovely to see how quickly Serkan turned the corner. He was already adjusting his thinking not even 24 hours after he found out about Kiraz and that was really what inserting himself

into her dealings with the Italians was about. Staying in contact until he could beat back all his neurosis. As for the business stuff, she apparently needed him as an investor, but I also love the way he was there to first build up her confidence and then praise her after a successful presentation. I've said it before but Serkan as her professional mentor is one of my favorite dynamics between them. It did make me wonder, is she still 45% owner of the Holding? It seems like it, she sure didn't hesitate to present herself as his partner. If she is, though, it seems impossible that they could have had zero contact for all those years, unless she just placed her stake in a trust and gave him full voting control of it. Details I'm sure they won't explore in-depth, but I did wonder.

Don't you just love an unwitting guest character (Italian guy) who comes in and forces our two protagonists to spend extra time together? I do. Thank you Italian guy and Italian guy's wife! I love how quick Serkan was to accept, you see, he had already turned a corner and was looking for excuses to get close to her. It was his first step in his journey to opening up to her. Also, who noticed that Eda wore a slinky blue dress the night after Kiraz mentioned that it's Serkan's favorite color? Just checking. She is not as immune to his charms as she'd like us to believe...

OF COURSE Serkan was at Eda's graduation. I think pretty much the whole fandom had guessed that from their conversation in episode 40, but it still hit me emotionally to have it confirmed. What I really liked about it was that Serkan didn't tip his hand by accident. He quoted her graduation speech specifically because he wanted her to know he was there. And not only that he willingly admits that he thought of her every single day since they parted. This is a huge step for him. It has been driving him crazy that Eda thinks he forgot her and is totally unaffected by her. However, even just a few hours earlier he was still in a place where he had no intention to tell her anything, it's actually impressive how quickly he came around. Now I don't blame Eda at all for declaring it's not enough, he put her through emotional hell when they broke up. I mean on one hand you'd think she'd be able to see that he was already opening his heart and there was more to the story, however, her reaction was good because it spurred him on to go and tell her the whole story.

And what a heartbreaking story it was. As I said several times over the last few weeks, I was hoping that part of Serkan's motivation was that the doctor had told him he would be unable to have kids, what I wasn't expecting though was the double whammy of not being able to have kids AND there being a 70% chance of the cancer coming back. No wonder Serkan was eFFed up! Who wouldn't be, but then you add in his additional insecurities about not being worthy of love and his hypochondria and that is a bad mental cocktail. You know what's ironic, Ayfer hates him but in reality he did exactly what Ayfer would have wanted him to do. Push Eda away for her own good so she could have everything she wants in life without him dragging her down. What makes Ayfer the worst (and a hypocrite) is that this is exactly what she would have wanted him to do, but she also blames him for Eda's heartbreak in the aftermath.

The scene was so cathartic to watch as a viewer. We've been waiting for weeks for Serkan's point of view as he's hidden behind his usual confident and calm veneer, and when we finally got it, we really got it. He did not hold back. Serkan is such a complex character, which is a bit surprising for a silly show that you wouldn't really expect build a character with so many layers. On the surface he has everything and seems to be full of ego, but his arrogance is only surrounding his abilities, intellect, and skills as a businessman and architect. Personally, he has little self-worth and thinks he's not worthy of anyone's love, especially not Eda's. However, while that has been a truth of the character for a long time, this speech was the first time he admitted how deeply rooted his fears are. It was stunning, though, to have a character who is so rooted in being in control and who is worried about his outward image, open up in such a raw way and expose all his fears and insecurities to a woman he's been apart from for five years. It was breathtaking and Kerem was fantastic in the scene.

Initially, with the subtitles, I misinterpreted (though I knew it couldn't be quite right) his parting words. The subtitles I saw made it seem like Serkan was saying "Don't say you forgot me" as in Serkan didn't want Eda to say she forgot him. But it made so much more sense when I saw it translated as "But don't say I forgot you." which was a throw back to their dinner conversation in episode 40 when Eda says, "You forgot me." Once I realized Serkan was saying that he couldn't handle her thinking, or say, that he'd forgotten her, the scene hit doubly hard!

I saw some criticism of that scene that said Eda was just standing there with no emotion, but I didn't get that at all. She had tears running down her face and I thought she was fighting for his soul pretty dang hard. First by using both emotion-- telling him that everything had changed because now he had a daughter and that he'd locked his heart and soul in a cage. Then by using logic-- when she told him the cancer is gone and that's it's over and when she challenged him over why everything has to be perfect. Think from her perspective how disorienting it would be to find out that everything you thought was true, was not, and that if the love of your life wasn't such a stubborn, selfless, self-sabotaging martyr that you could have built a family together instead of been separated for 5 years. It's a lot.

On the first watch this doorway scene is where I started to get emotional, but I didn't really lose it and fully cry until Serkan's scene the next day with Engin. For whatever reason that scene hit me hard. Hats off to Anil for his work there, the way his voice broke at times during that conversation really got to me. This type of true friendship scene was something that was sorely missing during the era of the other writers, and it was wonderful to see it back, just when Serkan needed it most. Serkan needed someone to shake him a bit about his fears of dying. I think the writers did a good job here, because while Serkan's neurosis and self-sabotage is maddening, with his history it's believable that he was stuck in a headspace where he really thought he couldn't be a father to Kiraz, or a partner to Eda, because he might up and die on them. I loved how Engin pointed out that Eda and Kiraz would not be the only ones affected if he died and how ridiculous it was for him to lock himself away.

I'm glad we got the scene with the doctor to really get a full glimpse of Serkan's view of his illness and it's also a relief to not only Serkan, but to us viewers that since five years have passed cancer-free he now has the risk of a typical healthy person. Serkan isn't the only one who has hang ups about his health, I think after amnesia and cancer viewers do too!

Finding out that Eda had made videos specifically for Serkan over the years, talking to him directly, hit hard. I wasn't really expecting that. I thought maybe she just had general photos and videos, like any doting parent would have, but the fact that she was always wanting him, documenting Kiraz's life and preparing for a day when he would hopefully take his place as Kiraz's father... wow. On the cynical side it makes it that much harder to believe that she never made more of an effort to tell him once Kiraz was born, but I won't focus on that. Not when the scene was as perfect as it was. Kerem again was stellar, he made me cry buckets. I think since amnesia many of us wanted an emotional response from him, thank goodness this story finally delivered it. The emotions running through him at that moment were overwhelming and Kerem did a fantastic job of portraying all of them, the heartbreak over everything he missed, the joy at seeing moments

from his daughter's life, the regret of not being there and being the partner Eda needed, the pride in the job Eda did in raising their daughter alone, and finally the bittersweet relief that Eda never forgot him.

It was a lot, but it was a good segue to the next scene when Eda calls him frantic because Kiraz went missing. What was clear from those videos was that while Eda, when we first meet her in Sile, appeared on the surface to have everything handled as a single mom, she always really wanted to have Serkan there as her partner. While Kiraz was pining for her dad, Eda was pining for Serkan as well. And we see this displayed in full force when Serkan arrives. Several people try to comfort Eda, including Burak, but she's not having it. However, as soon as Serkan gets there you can almost see the relief hit her in a wave. She's not in this alone anymore. Kiraz's father is there to help. Even if nothing is settled at that moment, she knows she can rely on Serkan and that he will know what to do. Which is supported by the fact that he clearly took charge the moment he found out, calling the authorities, having them begin searches etc.

But while highlighting his competence, conversely can we talk about how incompetently everyone else was at searching for Kiraz? They all acted worried, but did any of them make any real effort to find her? LMAO, they all seemed much more concerned with their own personal dramas. Especially egregious were Engin and Piril. Hello! Your son is clearly trying to tell you where the missing person is! Stop ignoring him. Thank goodness Serkan is very good at finding people.

Of course he found her and our hearts collectively shattered as we watched her trying to send a message to her Baba in space when in reality he was kneeling right there beside her, helping her tie the note to the balloon. If anything else was left to convince Serkan that he is wanted and needed, by both Eda and Kiraz, this situation was it. Even though some careless crew member spoiled the astronaut suit in an unnecessary IG story from the set, (that would have been a really good surprise) it was still satisfying to see this fairy tale play out. Never over "Baba?" and "Happy Birthday, my daughter" and now I can't wait to see Kiraz's reaction that her new friend Serkan Bolat is actually her dad and it should be pretty great to watch the three of them form a family together.

Overall this was the most emotional episodes of the series, and also one of the best.

[btsandvmin]

Ask: Reply - 2021.03.25

Time to go through some of your asks! I am glad you seemed to like the new format and I’ll keep it up for now. (If you have any suggestions for improvement feel free to comment.) I got a lot this time and with pretty varying topics, so it took a while for me to write this even if it still seems pretty sloppy. I also got two asks I just answer briefly but didn’t want to include due to the topics. Anyways, let’s get to it. :)

Topics:

Ask 1 - Anon share about shipping Ji/hope and becoming a Vminie Ask 2 - Reasons to ship Vmin and no leaks of a relationship (+ rumors ask) Ask 3 - Stress over my analysis “making people delusional” Ask 4 - Tae/kook and Ji/kook being big ships (+t/k shippers ask) Ask 5 - Not enjoying a bond because of it’s shippers Ask 6 - Vmin videocall while getting make-up. Ask 7 - Vmin shaking hands Ask 8 - Wheesa from Mamamoo Ask 9 - Any wholesome fic recs?

(I got a few more left, but the post was getting long, so I’ll save them for next time. I promise I’ll answer them in my next ask post.)

Ask 1 - Anon share about shipping Ji/hope and becoming a Vminie

Hi and thank you for sharing your story, I always find it interesting to read how people found their way to Vmin and in particular if they shipped something else first. Don’t worry about it being long, it was a fun read. :)

I see what you mean with there being “something about Jimin” and I actually think he is so shippable with all BTS members. He truly works so well and is so sweet and cute with all of them. I also think Ji/hope (as many hyung x maknae line ships) is a very underrated ship. And they used to be very big on the fanservice on stage in the early years too so they definitely have some “questionable moments” in that sense as well. 

I think the way Jimin express his love for all his members is amazing and has probably lead to all of them expressing their love a lot more opnely. Think of how Jimin started their tradition of giving gifts for their birthdays for example. Honestly, all BTS ships are good ships but I really think Jimin’s way of being so openly affectionate just makes all his ships very soft and full of love. But yes, more love to Ji/hope please, because they have a lot of great moments. 

It’s interesting how you say you were affected by the platonic label Vmin has. I really think it’s very strong and works very well on a majority of the fandom and on most people that don’t dig a bit deeper and question what Vmin have actually done. That being said, a lot of the surface level things for all ships are great, and I do think you really have to deep dive into a ship to get the more actually questionable moments a lot of the time. And I think with Vmin this hasn’t been done so much, so people might be surprised when they actually do look closer.

I also like how the lipstick moment and the kissing the doll moments made you end up questioning Vmin. For me who has looked at Vmin for so long these were just more examples of things I had already seen, but I am sure many newer fans (just like you did) would react and look twice at these moments. I’ll tell you though, these moments are just barely scratching the surface of questionable things that Vmin have done.

I am glad you like my blog and think the things I say makes sense, though I do want to be clear and say it’s just me guessing and making theories. I am glad they make sense, but I could still be wrong. :P Thank you again for sharing your own story, and I hope you will keep on enjoying Vmin and my blog. <3

Ask 2 - Reasons to ship Vmin and no leaks of a relationship (rumors)

I mean, I think I have shared my reasons to ship Vmin in pretty much every post I have ever done on this blog. There’s a lot of them after all... But if you haven’t already I would suggest checking out my posts 10 Reasons to ship Vmin and 10 more reasons to ship Vmin. 

I stress the point that Vmin could easily be platonic but simply extremely close all the time as well, so we could definitely be reading too much into things. Of course this goes for all shippers (or rather believers, there is a difference after all). I suspect your question might not be about shipping but rather if Vmin could be real and what reasons I might have to think that is possible. You can check my post Shipping vs Believing if you want to know how I view things very differently when it comes to simply shipping and anything that goes beyond shipping).

As for what makes Vmin stand out as more likely compared to other ships I guess the main things I take into account are: The songs, Vmin being careful (including friendzoning and other members’ reactions to them), their sometimes contradicting behavior (like them being soulmates but seemingly being awkward with some things or not being together as much as we might expect etc.), the way they do some very romantic looking things and have increased those behaviors over time and then just a lot of interesting moments and their close relationship in general. Also, soulmates is not a label to underestimate.

As for leaks I think you have to ask the same question for all idols, and all relationships. I mean, how many leaks of any BTS relationship have we gotten? I don’t think the guys have lived in celibate for their whole careers. Not to mention a lot of idols date secretly, and for LGBT+ idols I am sure they would be even more careful. But at the same time people also would likely be less suspicious unless they do something very obvious. I mean, think of all the things we have seen BTS do openly. I also think we have to remember that if it’s something that the fans doesn’t want to know or believe it also is less likely to get spread. For example that an idol they love would be LGBT+... because heteronormativity and homophobia is not to be taken lightly either. I also think you underestimate how many secrets insiders in all entertainment industries are keeping. I am sure many idols are pretty open with their dating to many, but it doesn’t get spread because there is a risk with being the whistle blower as well. Perhaps in particular with exposing someone’s sexuality which could ruin their whole career... And any person trying to ruin BTS’s reputation at this point might honestly get lynched by all of Korea.

I also know some rumors (not about sexuality) even gets pushed away as spread by antis etc. So sometimes even when rumors leak they get shut down. In the end there are a lot of rumors floating around, many that contradict each other as well, but I don’t think lack of rumors has to mean it is impossible for it to be happening. Again, many in the LGBT+ community aren’t even out to their own family and manages to hide that... We don’t know enough about how two members in a relationship would be or how open they would be to begin with. I suspect in the case of Vmin they would be very careful and only a select few would know. 

There could also be leaks, but they don’t reach the mainstream fandom. Like how I learned about the problems and disbandment talk back in the summer of 2018. Some things definitely do get leaked, but it is also very difficult to know if they are real or not until confirmed.

But I do think if a couple is real and they are pretty open with it, eventually they would either be in an obvious glass closet or there would be rumors or even confirmation. Because if a couple isn’t careful to begin with then they clearly risk exposure and likely wouldn’t mind too much to be outed.

It’s definitely a complicated topic, and a whole world we as fans don’t know enough about to even come to any real conclusions. So don’t worry about not knowing, it’s not like we as outsider can easily know how things work as they are likely even different for each company, group, couple, individual etc.

I also want to adress one ask I got but won’t include, about a particular sasaeng rumor ((part of ask: there was news going around by saesung (idk if I spelled it right sorry)...)). I only have two things to say, because I don’t want to spread any of these rumors or want any of you to look for these things.

1. Rumors are rumors, we have no idea what sources they come from and many times they also contradict each other. Often they can be spread by antis of some kind with an agenda to hurt or worry. It’s better to simply pay them no attention most of the time.

2. If the rumors are ridiculous in nature, as the one you asked about, it’s even better to not spread it further. In this case it would go against the personalities of the members and against their own words. It would mean BTS lied to us straight to our faces about something there is no reason to lie about, and thus doesn’t have any reason to happen to begin with. Be open of course, but also think critically. Don’t worry in vain, just try to ignore stuff like this.

Ask 3 - Stress over my analysis “making people delusional”

Thank you a lot @phantomavenger​, your message really soothes me. This is a dilemma I’ve struggled with a lot over the years actually. If sharing stuff and theories about Vmin might not be good, no matter if I am right or wrong. Because if Vmin are together I am basically working to exposing them against their will and if I am wrong I might be a factor in people believing in something that isn’t real, which might end up hurting them. 

I usually end up thinking that maybe it’s better for things to come from me with a more nuanced take than that someone else finds it and it spreads in a more uncontrolled and delusional way right away. If that makes sense? I know this might sound very conceited, but since I know my words are being spread I at least hope to make people understand the importance of not jumping to conclusions and sounding too sure of anything we don’t really know. Again, a lot of ships have believers, and that says something. We should all be careful both for our own sake and for the privacy of the boys. Normalizing delusional behavior is what usually leads to worse and worse things being done “in the name of the ship” as well and I just don’t want that from Vminies. The trickle down effect of people misunderstanding or twisting my words is also a bit scary.  There are also so many shipper at this point that I think most things I point out will eventually likely be pointed out or noticed by someone else anyway, so...

But you are right, I can’t take responsibility for people taking my things out of context or getting convinced even though I try to tell them not to. In the end I write analysis on Vmin because I don’t think anything I find is enough to actually prove anything (this goes for all ships btw). I’ll share my analysis and with it I will also have many reasons on why shipping real people and “knowing a ship is real” is so much more difficult than many seem to think. 

Here’s a sneak peak in case anyone is interested. 

Don’t worry, I’ll try to edit it and make it more concise. Thank you again for your kind words and reassurance. :)

Ask 4 - Tae/kook and Ji/kook being big ships

Hi, and wecome to the fandom! I hope you will enjoy being an ARMY and keep liking Vmin. :3

I answered recently about big ships (Ask: Reply - 2021.03.18 Ask 3 - What makes a ship big?) and I’ve talked about popularity regarding these certain ships before as well in Why do you think Vmin get so brozoned by the fandom?

First I would like to say that “vibes” to me doesn’t really say much... All shippers clearly have their own perception of the members and their dynamics, otherwise everyone would ship the same thing. That being said I think projecting is part of many shippers’ reasons to ship and definitely think it’s part in why JK ships in general are very popular. Not just within BTS but for straight ships as well.

I don’t think there is ever one simple reason for why someone ships something, and same for why they might think a pair is actually together. Me might all have our own reasons for why we like a certain ship. For me all ships in BTS have good enough chemistry and dynamics to be shipped and I don’t think there is anything weird with those ships being popular. Especially since they’ve basically been popular since the start for their own reasons and then simply kept growing.

In short I think these things might play a big part in why some ships get bigger than others:

1. Projecting and falling for a ship similar to your own preference in a relationship 2. Amount of moments, and type of moments. 3. Type of relationship and the fandom view. Some dynamics will draw people in more even if it’s only percieved dynamics and stereotyping. Sexual tension and complicated drama is more “fun” than “friends to lovers” trope. 4. How popular they are. Big ships will grow bigger faster. More exposure and material by fans might make people find big ships easier. 5. Room for analysis. Honestly, if a ship seems “complicated” it might be more interesting to dig deeper into. So when people see analysis of ji/kook or tae/kook they get interested and might get more involved. Basically if analysis are being made it will make people more invested, and for Vmin it’s not that people can’t analyze them, but rather that not many have. So you won’t find as many fans deep diving and looking harder at Vmin compared to many other ships.

Again, ships might be popular for many different reasons, but I don’t think size of a ship really is that important. Just ship and let others ship what they like as well.

I also want to briefly adress an ask I got but that I won’t post, because I got yet another ask about Tae/kook. I’m sorry I won’t include the ask but I definitely agree with your comment to “Look at V as an individual person, not part of a ship”. This should be obvious and apply for all shippers. 

But I do want to say that I don’t think shipping a particular pair is the problem, it’s how you do it. I personally see no problem with shipping anything as long as it only is shipping, which is a fantasy. I ship Chen x Baekhyun from EXO and Chen is married... I simply enjoy their dynamic as a fantasy. Just like how I enjoy characters in a book or movie I am aware it isn’t real. I mostly see shipping as a problem when you let it affect how you behave towards people with different opinions or if you push it onto the people themselves which is never ok (even if it would be real). Of course there are many examples of shippers taking things too far, but I don’t think the ship in itself is the problem, but again what those shippers might do. So yeah, I condone any shipper who crosses the line and push things onto the members, but I don’t think shipping in itself is bad.

Ask 5 - Not enjoying a bond because of it’s shippers

Hi, and first of all I am sorry you are feeling like this. I think sadly this is quite a common problem, and I am not sure I have any good answers for you. But I’ll try. I do recognize this feeling though I have mostly felt it in other fandoms where shippers of “rival” ships got me so annoyed it was difficult to not just see the shippers’ reactions every time they had a moment. Which made it less fun and sometimes hard to enjoy their moments even though I would have usually. What I did in that case was actually stop engaging in the fandom all together for a while, to take a step back as many of my own fellow shippers’ negativity about the other shippers and their theories affected me as well (btw this was a fictional ship so it’s quite different in many ways).

It’s sad when shipping affect us this much, but it can be hard when we invest so much time and get so much enjoyment out of it. I am not sure how bad you feel, but I think when you feel conflicted (possibly cognitive dissonance) when coming across ji/kook content it might have gone a bit too far (I talk about it a bit in this post) and be too attached to the idea of your own ship. If so you might want to consider taking a step back and engage with the fandom less and just focus on enjoying the actual content we get. If you simply react due to shippers and don’t actually care if ji/kook are happy together (or even would be real) I would simply suggest trying to stay away from those people. Sadly over analyzing the members happens a lot and will likely not stop anytime soon. I know it’s not that easy, but I don’t really have any better advice. Try to find places you can be while feeling happy, or take a break if you have to. Distance and time might help at times and I know many people who take breaks from their fandoms when they get too much for them and they get less enjoyment from being part of the community.

For me I did also have a period when looking at Ji/kook made me a bit annoyed or even sad. It was during a period when I was extra sensitive and wasn’t feeling very good so even small things affected me more than they should. But it had less to do with Ji/kook and more to do with consuming very toxic narratives from Ji/kook shippers that basically included Vmin being fake or played up. The idea of Vmin being fake hurts me much more than any other ship being real. Consuming a lot of quite toxic Ji/kook theories made me think Ji/kook being real would equal Vmin being fake and thus seeing Ji/kook hurt a bit.

What worked for me was realizing that this narrative makes no actual sense and there is no point in me worrying about Vmin being fake. And if they would be I know my reaction would simply be to walk away as I wouldn’t enjoy BTS if they lie about things there is no reason to lie about. This took away the feeling of being insecure, and I can be happy with just knowing Vmin are soulmates, no matter what kind. 

I also stopped looking up analysis of other ships and simply keep in mind that even if other ships are real it doesn’t change the bond between Vmin. I know enough about other ships to see their weird moments and to know I shouldn’t be certain about my own ship. I can also see what other shippers might see in a moment on my own at this point, so I do see how seeing moments might make you just think of what theories it might lead to. For me it was about changing my own mindset about other ships vs Vmin and to simply not consume content that was toxic or made me feel bad. Basically, even if Ji/kook or any other ship would be real it wouldn’t bother me as I know what Vmin has is still incredibly special and genuine.

To me this worked, but every person has their own limits. I would suggest backing off from consuming shipping content and simply look at how much the actual content shows the love between the boys. And also if possible try to get with the idea that even if another ship is real, that isn’t neccessarily bad. I would be happy for any ship if it was real at this point as long as they make each other happy, and I don’t feel threatened by other ships because of it.

As for shippers being bad or toxic, sadly with size and confidence it seems to happen a lot. I simply don’t bother with antis or over analyzing shippers of any kind that put very negative narratives on the boys. I know there will always be some bad ones in all bigger fandoms, so I try to not let it affect me too much. In fact I feel more hurt when my own ship communities engage in toxic behavior as that is harder to ignore and walk away from.

Thank you for sharing your struggles and I hope I could help maybe even a little. I know it’s not easy and as you say the guilt is also hard to deal with. I know I might have strayed away from your actual issue, but it’s a very difficult topic for me too. But at least your worry shows you truly do care for the members and don’t want to see them in a negative light. Just try to do what you need to do to feel better, even if it might be hard to do. Also thank you so much for liking my blog. <3

Ask 6 - Vmin videocall while getting make-up.

I am going to be frank here, this is a moment where fans most likely saw incorrectly and then some still spread it as a Vmin moment. I know people debated about it when it happened and I am sure people still have different opinions on it. But for me since it seems pretty clear the screen corresponds with how Tae moves the phone and takes a picture of himself. I think it was on selfie mode, not that it was a video call. This image I found might be edited because it look very much like Jimin, but it could also be accidental that this screenshot really really looked like him. I know it really looks like Jimin and the paleness of the screen makes it difficult to know... But if you watch the video in it’s original size and quality you see it’s Tae pretty clearly.

The video is  [BANGTAN BOMB] Jin's Sunglasses Collection in Hong Kong - BTS (방탄소년단). You can watch it around 2.10. Sorry for bursting the bubble. But hey, at least we know Vmin actually do facetime each other despite how much they see each other. :)

Ask 7 - Vmin and shaking hands

Vmin really are extra with the shaking (and holding/touching) hands, aren’t they? To be fair I think they do this quite a lot with other members as well, but it’s still definitely a Vmin thing. ;)

As for Brooklyn 99 I have watched clips, but not the full show, so I know who Holt and Kevin are... But I didn’t know they did that. That’s really sweet. Though obviously it sucks they can’t just be like any other couple and would have to make hand shaking their public display of affection (though I suppose it could just be their personalities as well? Like I said I don’t know the show too well.)

Funny but I actually wrote a little drabble Vmin part of something similar at one point... Though it wasn’t about shaking hands but instead fist bumps, as Vmin was doing that a lot at that time. I just find the idea of Vmin making anything normal into something cute and intimate, like an inside joke, very endearing. Thank you for sharing. :)

Ask 8 - Wheesa from Mamamoo

Thank you for sharing this cute moment. :) I really do like Mamamoo and from the few moments I have seen with them they seem really sweet with each other. Also I love Twit, it’s such a bop! 

Wouldn’t it be amazing if Vmin followed suit and Jimin appears in Tae’s MV for KTH1? :3

Ask 9 - Any wholesome fic recs?

Hi and thank you for your kind words. :3 English isn’t my native language and I struggle with being articulate sometimes, so your comment makes me really happy. :)

As for fics I am sorry, I have two big fic recs and I feel most of my favorites are included in those. (Huge Vmin fic rec and Vmin fic rec - Canon compliant) I know they don’t have any indications of rating etc. but for now looking through these lists to check if they fit what you like is what I have. If anyone has any particularly wholesome BTS fics to rec feel free to add them in the replies. :) Thank you and sorry for not coming with any actual recs in this reply. 

And that will conclude this post as it was starting to get a little long. :) I do have some asks left, and I’ll try to answer them as soon as I can with my next post. Thank you all for your interesting questions and shared stories. I hope you found this post enjoyable, or at least worth a read, as it included some pretty heavy topics.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Admiring the view

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult content +18 only!, smut, fluff , slight angst, window sex, bitches being bitchy,posessive male

A/n:Enjoyed writing this let me know what you think, im trying desperatly to keep bruce in character any way enjoy xxx

You and Bruce plan to meet for lunch at the tower thats if your let into the building.

Admiring The View

Bruce sat tapping a foot impatiently under the desk as the man in front of him drolled on about a 'funny thing that happened at golf last week' that wasn't actually that funny or interesting. But being the perfect business man that he is he still managed to force a laugh looking invested into the story that was meant to butter him up. The man Mr Fells owner of a computer parts manufacturer was tying to get in his good graces so Bruce would loan him an extortionate some money to start another company as his current one sunk into bankruptcy after being sued. The man had effectively stolen a whole generation of employee's pension's counting the money they paid in as profits and had been spent on Mr Fell's new yacht . It was a nice boat, he might buy it off of the man when he becomes bankrupt. He smirked at that. When the time came for his employees to retire they found they couldn't withdraw anything and was in the middle of a court battle. Bruce was not going to give this man a cent not that the greasy old fuck knew that yet. He fished in his pocket checking his phone for what seemed the hundredth time. He smiled when he saw the text he'd been awaiting all day from you.

-Just got off the bus, be there in five xx

"Sorry am I keeping you from something Bruce?" The man asked as Bruce locked his phone leaving it on his desk.

"Well I do have another appointment in about 5 minutes so I'm going to have to ask you to leave it there, I will have a decision for you in the next few days, I will have Mary phone you." He said still standing behind the desk, really he wanted to tell the man that he could go fuck himself, call him a sleaze ball and tell him that he wasn't getting anything.But that was bad business. Bruce followed him to the door shaking hands with him as he entered the elevator. His face dropped once the doors closed and he walked back across the large waiting area.

"Still trying to screw you over then?" His secretary Mary called out to him, a woman in her late thirties that he was glad to have her around she was laid back more friend than employee which made people gossip, trying to make up an 'office romance' despite her being happily married to a lovely woman named Chelsea he smiled.

"Yeah seems more now ,he's desperate find out whats happened would you? And in the next few days phone him up and tell him to fuck off." He replied

"I will ring and inform him that Wayne enterprises has decided to decline an investment into his new venture.... unless I'm allowed to actually tell him to fuck off? if that's the case give me ten minutes I'll go down and do it now face to face" She laughed he rolled his eyes.

"Maybe option one is more appropriate, option two can be the back up."

"Build my hopes and tear me down why don't you and I'm glad that your finally throwing him out, if I have to have to sit here and listen to his misogynistic prattle I will kill him Bruce, and don't think I'm joking either I know were I'd dump the body, I've had fantasies."

"Oh really? didn't think he was your type" he said teasingly

"You know what I meant"

"There nothing else on today?" He said chuckling a little approaching her behind the desk peaking at her screen she gave him a look over her thick 'boho' glasses then sighed

"No not that I can see" he nodded patting her shoulder

"Tell you what pack up and have the rest of the day to yourself . Think of it as an apology for having to put up with Mr Fells in here today" she smiled slyly leaning back.

"Really? You sure its got nothing to do with your visitor?" She asked teasingly he turned back and leaned over her screen knowing that notes from the main front desk came up to her directly.

"What is y/n here already?" Then stopped as she laughed out loud.

" caught you so you are waiting for someone? But you never bring them here so she must be something special. Tell me has someone managed to tame the king of Gotham himself? The great Bruce Wayne?" He pulled back crossing his arms trying to look stern before cracking a grin as she continued to smile at him cheekily.

"You could say that. Stay and meet her with any luck you'll be seeing more of her."

"You know what I think I will."

"shes taking a while tho better phone her, in case shes got herself lost."

Meanwhile

You pressed the bell for the bus to stop walking off as it pulled up to the bus stop texting Bruce that you were nearly there. You looked up at the tall building peaking between the others as it towered over the city. Today you finished early and Bruce had invited you to lunch, telling you that Alfred would pick you up. You declined stating that you paid for a yearly bus ticket and you'd bloody well get your moneys worth. You were excited you'd never been to this part of the city before and was looking forward to being shown 'the tower' as Bruce called it. Well more so looking forward to seeing the view of Gotham from soo high up. You smiled quickly crossing the road and followed the crowds of people down to the huge building.

Hesitating feeling almost under dressedas everyone walked around in there expensive suits you glanced down at your black leggings and button up slightly over sized blouse with small foxes on it and scuffed flats. You walked in to the huge lobby not entirely sure where to go, feeling a few of the people stealing glances at you security included eyeing you carefully as you looked around then decided to pull out your phone to text Bruce looking down concentrating you jumped when you were approached by security.

"Miss can I help you? Are you lost?" You smiled up at him

"Oh no, well I suppose I am, I'm just not sure where to go. Not been here before" you ended with a chuckle he nodded eyeing you up and down suspiciously

"If you go over there you can check in and find out where you need to be." He said pointing to a long black polished welcome desk with immaculate women sitting behind it. You smiled thanking him making your way over to them, you felt them watch you as you took uneasy steps to the desk. The two large security guards hovered close to you wandering around instead of returning to the main doors where they had been originally. A pretty brunette faced you faltering then smiled.

"Hello can I take your name?"

"Err y/n Cooke?" She smiled typing into the system then frowned obviously not finding you she typed away for a few moments clicking here and there then sighed eyeing you up and down.

"Ok.. if you could just take a seat over there." Pointing to a row of leather sofas in front of them. You watched as she whispered to a colleague and walked through a small hidden door leading out into the lobby she stood in front of you.

"Can I ask what you came here for today? Your not on the system." You nodded

"Bruce invited me this morning , he is finishing early and wanted to show me around." You said naively waving your phone at her she nodded sighing.

"I suppose this 'Bruce' happens to be Mr Wayne? I'm going to have to ask you to leave the grounds." You frowned as her not following.

"What? He really did ask me to come over. We're going out tonight you can ask him if you dont believe me" You said she looked at you pitifully before scoffing her face turned mean nodding to the two guards.

"Honestly you fan girls never cease to amaze me. Each one as delusional as the last, tho you more so, you really expect me to believe that someone like you is going out with Mr Wayne, sorry but I don't see him as a man who scrapes the bottom of the barrel."you gasped as her words cut into you she smirked.

" Your wasting my time,some of us in the real world actually have work to do. Get a grip what ever fantasy your living in isn't real, any relationship you think you might have doesn't exists. You think your the first woman to come in and try to Pass yourself of as a client to get into his office? No there have been many. Now I think you should leave before I call security and cause a scene. And from one woman to another get some help. This isn't healthy." She spat the words out through clenched teeth stepping back and made her way to wards the desk shaking her head as the other women giggled. You sat there for a moment trying desperately not to cry from the verbal beat down she gave you. Unsure why it had upset you so much it could be that you weret prepared for it or maybe that there was a crowd of people to see it. Sniffling back tears finally collecting yourself you rose just as you go to walk out your phone rang a photo of you and Bruce on the screen. You sighed sniffing back tears trying to sound normal held the phone to your ear

"Hi Bruce." You whispered leaning down grabbing your bag and slowly making your way to the door when the two guards began to make their way towards you.

"Hey where are you? You didn't get lost did you I knew I should have sent Alfred."

"No I didn't get lost I..well. something came up." You sniffed feeling the judgmental stares and laughs as you walked out with your head down. Trying to hold back your tears had made your voice higher. You heard him growl down the phone.

"What? What happe- are you crying?" You shook your head sniffing

"N-no dont be silly why would you think that?" you said taking a deep shuddering breath trying not to cry.

"Stop.. where are you whats happened? , y/n I can still hear you moving I said stop." He sounded stern almost angry you hadn't meant to but you did stop moving wiping at your face.

"I can't the guards are following me out, I'm being escorted out"

"What? Why?"

"No its fine... I will see you at the manor tonight"

"No you will not. You will tell me now what happened..... come one sweets what happened talk to me"For some reason that seemed to break the flood gates as tears began rolling down the sides of your face again whimpering.

"Apparently Bruce Wayne doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel." You said bitterly into the phone wiping at your eyes sniffing as more tears fell you were so embarrassed you could hear the receptionist still laughing with her colleagues. Bruce was silent you took it as a sign to continue.

"She was just rude, said some nasty things ,she didnt believe that I was here to see you, then called security...its fine. I will just go"

"What did she say? And dont you lie to me" he growled you almost hear him his jaw clench.

"Bruce-"

"Tell me!" He was angry and sounded almost worried.

" That I'm delusional...that we dont have a relationship, you couldnt possibly be with someone like me as that means youd be scraping the bottom of the barrel." You waited for a reply he growled then bellowed down the receiver.

"Who the fuck does she think!- Hold on are you still down stairs? Hang on" He moved the phone away but you still heard him speaking you cringed he sounded angry. Very angry you picked up his shoes tapping quickly across the floor.

"Mary, has a security call been made in the lobby? It has? Cancel it.. now yes. And find out who the fuck is on lobby" You heard the faint sound of elevator doors closing but paid no mind as you looked at the two men came up behind you trying to usher you out.

"I'm on my way now you stay exactly where you are. I mean it don't you dare leave this building, if you let them scared you away there will be hell to pay" he ground out then hung up.You sighed looking into your phone taking a moment to brace yourself before dropping it in your bag zipping it up and slinging it over your shoulder wiping at your eyes. The guard spoke up as you didn't move opting to turn around looking for at the elevators finding them easily as one counted down through the floors from the top. It must have been Bruce. You counted with it for a few breaths if it was him he was already half way down the building.

"Miss your going to have to leave." You snapped your head away and shook your head at them.

"You don't understand-"

"No you don't understand you've been asked to leave"

"And I've also just been ordered to stay put by Bruce" you replied more confident now that you knew Bruce was coming down to get you. Getting a glare he took a threatening step towards you.

"If you don't remove yourself then I'm going to be forced to remove you and press charges of trespassing which will go on your record and you will be banned from all Wayne enterprises owned establishments."

"Well you can try, but I doubt he will let that happen this has been a huge misunderstanding." He sighed at you

"Please don't make me drag you out" you saw the elevator doors open revealing your very pissed off looking boyfriend. You flinched he looked almost scary standing taller, he carried himself... different he looked determined then he locked eyes with you and you froze, that intense gaze made you quiver.

"Well don't say I didn't try to warn you" he frowned at that not noticing the way people parted letting the big boss storm across the lobby uninterrupted. Glancing at him as they all but jumped out of his way not wanting to have that anger directed at them , watching to see what poor soul was gojng to be on the receiving end. Bruce's quick steps and angry aura was quickly drawing the attention of the whole lobby as the small crowd watched Bruce quickly cut across the space. Holy shit he looked incredible.The security guard grabbed your forearm ready to drag you out as Bruce stopped behind him.

"What is going on here?" The man gasped turning around as he heard the sharp edge to Bruce's words. Bruce looked at the hand on your arm and practically snarled posessively

"Is he bothering you love?." The guard stood back dropping your arm as if it had scalded him looking between the two of you as Bruce held out a hand catching your wrist gently.

"Mr Wayne you know this women?" He asked panicked Bruce pulled you to him by your arm looking to see if the guard had left any marks rubbing it gently. He glanced at the shorter man with stern eyes pulling you off to the side putting you behind him a little.

"Well I'd hope so considering she's my girlfriend." You gaped at him not expecting him to be so blunt or loud he was loud enough for those around you to hear. The onlookers did a shitty job of covering there shock as they continued to eavesdrop. You snapped out of it placing a hand on his chest trying to calm him down as he squared up against the man who dared touch you. You felt sorry to the guard he didnt do anything wrong in your eyes.

"Bruce he was just doing his job." he huffed casting a look down at you contemplating.

"Your right love. Could you tell me who told you to escort her out of the building?" he raised a hand in the direction of the welcome desk. You heard the poor man sigh in relief as Bruce cast his icy gaze at the desk pulling you behind him you staggered before he grabbed your waist possessively pulling you beside him tucking you into his body protectivly tracing small circles with his fingers in an attempt to calm you.

"Bruce, just leave it please can we go upstairs" you pleaded quietly to him he frowned

"we will but not yet, who upset you?" he asked waving a hand across the desk motioning to the women.

"Bruce please it wasn't that bad lets go"

"No I'm not leaving until I have a word with her, now you can stall all you want sweets but I'm going to find out who it was. No one treats you like that especially in MY company now are you going to be a good girl and tell me?" you couldn't help the way your pussy fluttered at his words, you'd never seen him this protective before a part of you relished in it wanted more even, this was Bruce the boss. Determined and dominant. He looked devastatingly sexy wound tight standing taller and broader, not bothering to pay any mind to the others whispering around him, you felt safe knowing you were here in the arms of the biggest alpha male in the room. Probably the whole tower. He sighed looking at you from the top of his eyes.

"You wont tell me fine then, I'm a good detective I'm sure I can work it out" he stated simply pulling you the few feet up to the desk all of the women squirmed uneasy under his heavy gaze as he looked across them. The one who had upset you shrunk looking more frightened then the others, she shuddered when Bruce locked onto her.

"Considering how panicked you look I'm assuming you are the one who dealt with Miss Cooke?" he said evenly she looked up slowly nodding. Eyes wide gulping. you couldn't help it as your pussy throbbed and you nipples pebbled as bruces stern voice seemed to dominate the huge lobby ,the once nasty smug woman was now cowering slightly.

"I'd like to know what happened" he ordered in a deep voice your breathing bacame shallow at the sound, she started stuttering a reply.

"W-well Mr Wayne.. I-I took her name and c-couldn't find her on the system, I checked all departments and bookings and she wasn't on there so asked her to wait in the lobby... i-it could have been an error." he nodded understanding that even with the top of the range computers he had there was still room for error mostly human error but it did happen ,he motioned for her to go on.

"Then when I came out to ask here where she was headed.... I'm sorry Mr Wayne I didn't believe her.. she said that she was coming to see you I thought she was another girl trying to sneak past the desk I'm so sorry." she quivered. So did you but not necessarily for the same reason flushing a little not just at the attention you had directed your way but also because of the heat that was building between your legs. It didn't help having his warm hand pressing on the side of your waist low enough that it cupped the swell of your hip the heal of his hand covering the top of your ass. you shifted from one foot to the other trying to relieve some of the ache as your movement rubbed your swollen clit between your lips.oh fuck.

"Tell me what are you supposed to do when someone comes in asking for me personally? I'm sure that it was covered in your training" he asked with a heavy tone. You whined in your throat hearing the thick stern voice carry throught the lobby, which had become very quiet. He massaged his fingers into your side letting you mnow he had heard you flushed brighter. She cleared her throat.

"Er-erm we are supposed to message Mary on your floor." she answered wishing the floor could swallow her up.

"Yes but instead you decided to make derogatory remarks to her and embarrass her before having her thrown out. Why is that?" he said making her gulp as she stood pin straight shaking a little fully prepaird to be sacked on the spot he didn't give the woman a chance to reply.

"Tell me what was the comment about me scraping the bottom of the barrel? Or how about you tell me why i couldnt possibly be with a beautiful woman such as her? Or you could explain to me when it became apropriate for you to call my geusts delusional? do you think that is the type of professionalism people expect to find here? that this is the type of people I want representing my company on any level least of all the front line? " he snapped out at her you grasped his blazer.

"Bruce enough,, its done ok? its done please?" he looked from your pleading face to the thoroughly embarrassed woman who looked like she was about to cry. He lifted a hand pulling a tissue from the box on the desk offering it to her, she reached out slowly accepting it. He took a deep breath, part of him wanted to continue. This woman had made you cry, made you feel less than yourself after he'd spent the last few months building up your confidence. But worst of all she made you want to run from him. You had only just stopped questioning your relationship. And this woman had nearly destroyed your new found confidence for no other reason then to make herself look and feel important.

"Go home, take today off tomorrow you will resit the training for this position including the probation period and hopefully you can continue here with a fresh attitude following all protocols, I am not running a school playground I am running a company and this childish bullying has no place here if you dont sort it out your out do I make myself clear." he scolded she used the tissue wiping her eyes nodding

"Yes Mr Wayne" thanking him yet absolutely mortified that she'd been dressed down to such a degree in front of everyone. Bruce satisfied turned walking to the elevators pulling you in along side him, you couldn't help feeling a little sorry for the woman as you took a fleeting glance at her as the doors began to close on the scene catching the gasps as bruce tucked his face into your hair kissing you just befor they shut completely.

"Are you ok now?" he asked stepping closer rubbing your shoulders kissing the back of your neck. you shuddered moaning softly try to contain it you knew you'd failed as he smirked nipping you lightly.

Ooh I think you are? is someone a little worked up?" he wound his arms around your waist tugging you back flush against him slipping a hand between your legs. You moaned rocking into him.

"I've never seen you like that... well only on our second date but you weren't as ... intense you were so sexy.... I think I've got a new fantasy" you summarised he hummed cradling you hiding his face in your neck taking a slow breath before pulling back releasing your mound much to your despair.

"I will see to you in a moment, but I would like to introduce someone to you." he winked making you blush. The doors opened revealing a large modern hall that opened to a medium sized stylish waiting area secretary desk to the left of a heavy looking door with frosted glass paneling the same frosted glass on one side of the door behind the desk A tall woman sat at. she stood up laughing.

"I've got to say Wayne that just made up for my day sitting with Mr Fells."

"You watche dthrough security then?" He asked directing you towarss her she nodded

"The secretaries name is Kirsty Knell, she has a track record of being rude acordjng to the complaints at HR, two major incidents gaining two strikes technically she should be let go as this is her thrid but you've already said for retraining she wont last this probation,she doesn't play well with women it seems. But Ive already sent for her to retrain for the remainder of the week" she said as you both came to a stop befor the desk she come out from behinde the desk holding out a hand

"Hello I'm mary Collins Bruce's secartary" you smiled shaking her hand

"Y/n Cooke ,Bruces..girlfriend nice to meet you" she smiled giving Bruce a playful wink

"Well can I just say he is a lucky man."

"Oh er haha thank you?" you stuttered blushing unsure what to make of the energetic woman.

"Tomorrow phone up Clark for an interview about Y/n I don't care when, book it for at the manor." she nodded at him more interested in watching you.

"Will do.....oh Bruce she's adorable.... Anyway theres a new pass on the desk for her to keep... and thats about it I'm off gonna go surprise the missus at work. See you on Thursday. Make good choices." she left through the still waiting elevator. you stared after her as the doors closed. Bruce laughed picking up the pass and small card that had the companies logo on it.

"This is for you ,it'll get you in and around the building tho after today I doubt anyone is going to stop you again." you took it sliding it into your bag

"Why couldn't you have given me this before?" you cried at him he raised an eyebrow.

"Are you whining? it sounds like your whining, and I was going to give it to you today front desk is meant to message Mary when someone asks to see me" you pouted a little following him into his office. You looked around , it was sleek and modern then you gasped as you spotted the huge floor to ceiling window to the back it had a beautiful view of Gotham... and made you realise you were high..... really high you slowly walked around the chairs and desk dropping your bag on one of the chairs.

"I've never been this high up before." he traced your steps standing behind you as you tentatively touched the cool glas feeling as tho you could fall.

"Sounds like a challenge, are you sure feeling better now?" you rolled your eyes at him when he asked

"Yes I'm fine... cant blame them I mean I'm not what you usually go for.. but you did just reduce her to tears... and it was so hot I've never seen you in boss mode before" he groaned in your ear shifting a little turning you around pushing you against the glass. You trembled as the cool of the glass penetrated your thin blouse.

" I love you" you smiled leaning in kissing him gently then pulled away.

"I love you to" you gasped not noticing him move until his hand cupped you through your leggings again, lifting to your tip toes as he curled a finger slipping it between your needy lips running back and forth across your opening then settled on your clit rolling it hard.

"wow I suppose you really did like that display downstairs your almost flooding your panties, tell me how much did it turn you on when I came down there to put people in there place?" you moaned nodding as his fingers swirled finding your entrance again digging deeper pumping in and out in strong shallow thrusts through your leggings and panties.

"A lot OOHH FUCKBruce we cant,...OOHH God .. Bruuuce your not playing fair." you whined as he continued to play with you knowing just how to toe the line before letting you build to fast.

"Ooohh but baby we can." he whispered against your temple then spinning you he maneuvered you around to face the window pressing your breasts and side of your face on it pulling your hips back securing your arms across the back of your waist as one large hand curled around both crossed forearms. He ground himself against you. You let out a cry trying to wiggle away from him. But just ended up fubbjng your breasts on the cool glass making your nippled impossibly hard.

"Bruce oh my god some one will see!" you admonished at him confused as to why the thought of being caught thrilled you sending a hot rush down you spine setteling in your fluttering lower tummy. He leaned over you brushing his erection against you his chest ghosting your back, letting out a breathy chuckle in your ear before dropping his voice down and octave.

"I know exciting isn't it?" you whined out at him in protest as he rubbed himself across you with descisive strokes teasing you in the way only he knew how

"Bruuuce" you tried again he laughed

"Don't worry sweets we are at least 6 stories above everyone else, you think I'd ever let anyone else see you?"

"YES! of course you would." you yelled unable to stop yourself from grinding back on him he really did laugh at that kissing your neck he noticed that his marks had healed. He tutted couldn't have that now could we?. You squeaked at him when a hand crept up to your throat holding you still as he began kissing your neck, sloppy opened mouthed kisses following licks and bites tugging lightly between his teeth, you closed your eyes tight as your body sung under his ministrations.

"OH-OOHH Bruce pleas-PLEASE fuck." you moaned and withered as he used his hips to stop your movements tucking them under you slightly before thrusting up grinding on your engorged clit nearly taking your weight off your feet.

"AAHH SHIT!" you let out a high keen as he rocked his pelvis side to side his cock rubbing across you through clothes you now wished wasn't there. He pulled back spying the purple mark blossoming on your neck he gave a final lick before moving to stand tall behind you pressing on the dip between your shoulders as you tried to follow him.

"Ah ah not so fast I'm not done with you yet, there was so many things I had planned in here for today... but I'm afraid you will have to settle for a quicky instead...after all I have made lunch reservations." he said as he dragged down your leggings and panties one hand bunched up the blouse that hung over your ass hiding your quivering pussy. Securing it in the hand that held your arms steady he licked his lips as he revealed the juicy plump lips that peaked out from between your thighs. You gasped rubbing your thighs together trying to ease some of the tension you could feel his eyes staring at you. He chuckled enjoying the mewls he cause when he started slapping your thighs untill they parted he undid his zipper pulling himself free before letting your pussy kiss the crown of his cock lightly. You rocked back trying to get him to do ... Somthing anything.

"OH baby is this what you want?" he asked teasing you pressing the head just inside of you just so you felt the first sting of him stretching you before pulling out tapping your clit with it. You sobbed nodding

"I thought you said this was a quicky?" you protested trying to follow him back. Growling aggravated when the hand holding your arms stopped you just shy of him.

"Well You've got me there" that was all the warning you got as he thrust forward bottoming out. You cried in shock as he held still arching his hips up into you forcing you to curve your spine and then some, like always he stretched your walls tight causeing a small sting that always make you quiver around him it sent tingles through your whole body and made your skin prickle, he copied his movement from before tilting up trying to support your weight on his cock only it was embedded within you this time. You moaned in slight pain as the angle had him pressed hard against your cervix. You tense fisting your hands trying to bear your weight down on him wanting more of the addictive pleasure and pain mix. He dropped his hips before thrusting back up holding you high again.

"Or maybe this is what you wanted? I'm going to fuck you and everyone will know your mine, you wont be able to walk straight when we leave thats a promise" he grunted in your ear then began pumping into you slowing building his thrusts into a merciless pace. All you could do was enjoy the ride as he railed you ,panting hard fogging the window with every breath crying and moaning as he used you chasing his own pleasure, his groans were louder as he felt your pussy tensing refusing to let got of him, he couldnt pull out even if he wanted to. You bucked against his pistoning hips feeling your climax building looking down at the peole below you felt yourself spasm arojnd him feeling him throb as his veins caught every nerve inside of you ,when the first tremors shook your body you squirmed that familiar burning heat trickled down into your tummy falling lower and lower as your tummy tensed again and again, he must have felt it as he lowered his hand catching your clit rolling it back and forth. One harsh pinch is all it took for you to fall throwing your head back

"BRUUUCE AH FUCK" you cried high and loud as your body was overcome by bone rattling shudders your pussy spasming around him as you came your pussy ,assaging hjm desperatly trying to milk him it worked as he followed instantly arching his hips up holding still one hand landing on the glass beside you the a loud thump that echoed through the office his deep grunts readched your ears desperate needy as he finished inside of you painting your insides marking it as his and his alone. Both panting he took a few seconds catching his breath then he pulled you back a few steps sitting in his high back chair taking you with him on his lap still nestled inside you, you melted into him as the final tremors ebbed away leavjng you sated and relaxed your head lolling back onto his shoulder, he glanced at the clock on the wall and chuckled

"We missed are reservation.."

"Fuck the reservation" you replied breathlessly still panting hard trying to get your breath back he kissed your shoulder through your blouse.

"Well now I can check that off the list." he said cheerfully groaning as he shifted in his chair releasing your arms rubbing them soothingly as he pulled you up his legs eagerly stuffing more of himself inside of you, you whined at the tenderness that aslway came after being with him.

"List?" you asked now having come back down to earth he nuzzled into your neck humming.

"yeah I have a list of places I want to fuck you in."

"And of course your office is one of them" you laughed weakly his chest rumbled on your back as he growled.

"Not exactly... desk was my first preference, it was the first fantasy I had of you actually... the day we met to be exact" you rolled your eyes

"your unbelievable"

"But I have to admit I've always wanted to try window sex,and mirror sex hey and maybe in the board room god knows I need something to think about to get me through those god awful meetings." you sighed at him

"Something tells me if you had your way we'd fuck in every room in this building"

"Dont tempt me that's not a bad idea" you slapped his thigh lightly

"Its a very bad idea..... imagine the chafing" he let out a belly laugh before leaning forward catching your panties and leggings in one and dragging them over your knees removing himself carefully he pulled them back up patting your bottom

"There we go now how about we get out of here?" he said putting himself back into his trousers zipping them back up you stood taking small steps on shaky legs grabbing the desk as you nearly fell he smirked

"Oh shut up" you said seeing the smug man raise his hands

"Didn't say a word" he held you steady handing you your bag going to the elevator hitting the basement level to the company car park. you sighed leaning against him.

"So where are we going then?" you asked he smoothed the hair away from your neck leaving a kiss on it.

"Home? Tim's coffee machine has been installed so I'd like you to test it before he comes home just to see if it works."

"He got the one we have at work didn't he?"

"yep"

"Why doesn't that surprise me? I'll give it a go but I really would like a shower first" he shook his head pushing you out of the doors to the Aston Martin parked in his spot unlocking it.

"That's a thought I'm gonna fuck you in all my cars to. And your not allowed to have a shower yet, theres somthing about the thought of you at the manor dripping with me all day, tha just uugh it gets me going. You can join me in the shower tonight." you blushed at the thought of him watching you all day arpused knowing how messy he had made you, your pussy throbbed almost painfully.

"O-oh I'm staying over then?" he nodded entering the car you followed

"Yes your staying for a while now that we are going public, and it might be an idea to take a week off, I just want you close until the initial buzz is over." you nodded as he started up the car.

"A-are you ok with all that?" he smiled beaming at you

"Of course I love you and I'm not letting you go your stuck with me I'm afraid. I'm looking forward to being able to show you off, knowing Mary she will phone him today so Clark will probably be in touch within the next few days I would have thought the interview will be Friday or even Saturday. So you'll probably be at the manor for the next 2 weeks or so" he pulled the car out of the car park onto the main road you nodded

"I will tell Jack to go and pack some bags and come over."

"No need I will have Alfred pick him up when he goes to pick up Damien and explain it to him..they can stop at yours on the way home... how do you feel about Jacuzzi sex?" you rolled your eyes

"How did you go from Jack packing bags to pool sex?"

"I thought about telling him not to bother bringing your swimming costume. He and Damien have been swimming lately." you laughed leaning back in the seat shifting whimpering as you felt him seeping onto your panties.

"Are you sure I cant shower when we get back, This is uncomfortable." he gave you a side glance you could see his mind working but he said nothing.

"Ok how about this you let me shower and then we can have Jacuzzi sex tomorrow when the boys are at school?" you reasoned

"Share the shower to save water?"you nodded giggling at his compromise.

"Deal" he agreed way to quickly

"H-HEY! was that a set up?!? you are unbelievable Mr Wayne" he smirked gripping your thigh massaging it with his fingers you pouted.

"Unbelievably good getting shower sex and Jacuzzi sex, fuck yes, three days and three things off my list I'm on a roll." he said pulling of the main road. Honestly this man was always running rings around you.

[takadanobaba]

Jin Norizuki’s Birthday PriZoom 7/18/2021

Oh the things I do for Jin Norizuki

That was SUCH an experience. I had a lot of fun!! 

Main takeaway is that I am now acutely aware of when to YO in a song

(Okay so this is my first time attending a prizoom (or even any kinpri screening outside of Luna’s sss rabbit sessions!) so this is all entirely new to me and I can’t really compare it to much, but I figured that it’d be good to write up a report of sorts to fill in for Luna in a way!)

The prizooms are also accessible to everyone and don’t require any Japanese info confirmation!! If you’re interested in attending please go and support kinpri!!!

(Note: I think about Jin wayyyy too much and interpret them as nonbinary, so I use they/them pronouns for Jin. It’s just automatic for me at this point and feels weird otherwise haha so I’ll be doing that in this)

Jin is my all time favorite character and love of my life who I’m extremely delusional about so when a prizoom was announced for their birthday I went INSANE because I didn’t expect Jin’s birthday to be acknowledged AT ALL given how they’re usually excluded/treated like a side character (+ kinpri’s been putting out little to no content lately anyways....haha....). I was waiting in anticipation ever since it was announced (around June 6th) and even put in a time-off request for my work the day of its announcement just so I could attend!!!! ........ You can imagine my frustration at kinpri waiting until the very last minute to put out details about Jin’s prizoom ^^;

💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 

Also!! I’m a complete ~ foreigner ~ and managed to get tickets perfectly fine with my American credit card (and putting in some very obviously Not-An-Actual-Resident-Of-Japan address info...)! So if anyone’s curious about attending a prizoom but worried about region-locking, it’s possible! Very possible! If you’re interested in it, please go! You don’t need to have a Japanese phone number/credit card/address/etc. to purchase PriZoom tickets on RakutenTicket! It’s such an experience! If you need any help buying tickets then I’d be more than happy to assist!! Please support the PriZoom screenings and help increase the demand for more kinpri content!!!!!!!!!!!! I will personally become a living prizoom advertisement

(Also if any kinpri staff find this: I’m sorry for not respecting rules this time but I just wanted to provide a detailed account of the prizoom event and encourage participation for other foreign fans! I won’t do this again!!!)

💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 

I only attended the first and third showings (consisting of the first movie and Over the Sunshine!) because I wanted to see the new/not currently archived content (the second/pride the hero showing’s bonus was just Jin’s birthday video by Joji which I already revisit little too much ahaha). I also went to the chat-only rooms because I wasn’t very confident that I wouldn’t be awkward with my nonexistent cheering experience and intent to just observe what its like (despite knowing that the cheering rooms are more fun based on what Luna said haha). That, and I was planning on using the EXTREMELY OBNOXIOUS soundboard of ABSOLUTE CHAOS for everything since I have issues with voice dysphoria and figured it’d be good to stick to the room with that normalized as the one and only cheering method so participating would be a little less annoying to others, since we’d all have the same idea ^^;

I’m more active on twitter and follow/am mutuals with pretty much anybody who likes Jin enough to post about them, so it was cool seeing almost everyone there! At least half of them tweeted about this being their first prizoom haha. Jin’s birthday was also promoted as a good introduction to prizooms since the first showing was set at a price point of 718 yen instead of the usual 1,760 yen? So, lots of first timers attending! I guess most people had the same thought process as me about the whole insecure-about-not-being-used-to-proper-cheering/using-their-mic thing? Because most of my twitter following ended up in the chat-only rooms with me! Fun!

Also interesting how most people chose the male voice option for the cheering soundboard feature since there’s actually only 2 men who love Jin like that (I’m included in that number!!) in the Jin-obsessed twitter circle. I guess it was because it sounds kinda Joji-ish? and therefore fitting for an event dedicated to Jin! What with them being meant for each other and all.... Plus being Joji is just a fun way to play off having issues about using your own voice (I... project onto Joji a lot.)

👆 👆 👆

Okay I actually typed up all of the above during the second showing (since I wasn’t occupied attending that one) and everyone had the same train of thought and was definitely being Joji. You know that one “song” in Over the Sunshine- Glorious Schwarz- consisting of Joji just going wild infodumping for 3.5 minutes? Yeah EVERYONE who selected the male voice option was spamming 「おれもー！」/ “ME TOO!!!” during that (including me!). So it was like:

“I weighed 4646 grams at birth! ☆” 

“MMMMEMEEMEMMT MEE ME MEEE EMME ME   ME TOO M M ME TOO”

SO OBNOXIOUS. I LOVE IT. EVERYONE SHARING THE SAME BRAINCELL. THE JOJI BRAINCELL.

💙

The highlight of the prizoom  (in my opinion) was when some guy repeatedly hit よっ！/ YO! to the music in the first movie, which then led to everyone having a collective ~ Realization ~ 

After that happened, everybody joined in and started YO!-ing along in the other lives. Beautiful.

(Blurred recording of Dramatic Love and Showcase Night just so YO!u can see what I mean.)

(I only did those two to test screen recording after failing to archive the first Jin bonus while using the soundboard feature in the first showing, initially I didn’t intend to record anything but the bonuses and will not be doing that anymore. If you attend, don’t be like me or worse!!!! Please!! I’ll delete these if needed/after a few weeks. Also just wanted to mention that Koi no Royal Straight Flush is up there in Kinpri’s Most YO!-able songs)

I love this soundboard feature. Sounds like hell. Prizooms are truely a new form of art because of it. Amazing how cheering screenings have evolved over a pandemic. Music feels empty to me without the YO!s now. After this I ended up listening to the entire kinpri discography so I could determine the YO!ability of each song. Not sure if every prizoom is like that? But I really want to go to more showings just for the community experience! I’m morbidly curious as to how many people would try to YO! to Platonic Sword. I considered going to Rei’s because they’re showing Shiny Rose Stars, but I probably won’t though since money and sleep are things (They really should make tickets no more than 1,000 yen.... they’re zoom meetings with audio problems....THE AUDIO ISSUES ARE FUN THOUGH! YOU CAN SPAM “GANBATTE” WITH EVERYONE!!) Plus while I do like every kinpri character, none of the street boys are really my favorites and going to every showing regardless of character would be a lot. I assumed that I was only going to try attending Joji’s until they announced that they were gonna do something for Jin!! So if you want to see what it’s like PLEASE get tickets and experience it for yourself!! It’s so much more fun participating !!!! Relying on 1-2 people to post event summaries isn’t exactly consistent coverage of every prizoom either!

\ よっ！/      \ よっ！/      \ よっ！/

So much of this is a community experience that you just have to see for yourself! It’s really cool seeing people go all out for their favorites and just going wild. Notable participants include:

- Two separate people just working out the entire time (one of them doing “Prism Exercise” meaning very high effort full-body cheering and dancing? It was really impressive seeing them go all-out for such a long time!)

- Two (2!) Ai cosplayers!!! One attending the prizoom with a Jin cosplayer!!

- The lady who cosplayed Jin in their cute green pre-retirement prism star outfit WITH A HUGE JIN PUPPET IN THE SAME STYLE AS THE SHUFFLE PUPPETS IN THE STAGEPLAY!!!

- That one person who just had a Minato fish head on the entire time (?!)

- A Victoria cosplayer who showed off a really nice!! drawing of Jin they did during the participant showcase at the end of the screenings

- The person with a REALLY CUTE!!!!! homemade Jin plushie!!

- Two people who attended with 3D/vtuber style models of the Go Go Glorious! (YMT29 subunit) members: Noel Tokyo and Mikado Shibuya (who also had a model of Ai!)

- A really cute Joji vtuber model!

💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 💙

The bonuses were Jin’s birthday video from 2016 and a birthday message of sorts from Jin!

I actually didn’t manage to properly archive the first one as intended because things went horribly wrong so I ended up with nothing but just a terrible (said affectionately) little recording of the soundboard I linked earlier. But whatever I shouldn’t be doing that anyways. Hopefully kinpri includes that and the other prizoom bonuses in something later.... the thought of any content being stuck as lost media terrifies me. I don’t have a good enough memory or a high enough Japanese proficiency level to type it out but it wasn’t particularly analyzable or anything (telling that to myself to make me feel better about losing it). Just the usual Jin being dramatic and going on an evil monologue. Jin being evil ASMR. I lovingly burned another one of Jin’s evil laughs into my mind too so there’s that.

For the 3rd showing bonus however I did not fail though it’s arguably the less interesting bonus of the two since it’s unvoiced. I really love Jin’s voice. Big sexy. Actual dialogue is pretty similar to each other from what I’ve gathered (ending with one of Jin’s cute little アーーーッハッハッハッ！！！！！’s (the text effect for the unvoiced bonus was an appreciated detail!). 

(I’m not very confident in my ability to provide a good translation so I’ll just not embarrass myself)

“ AAAaAAaHAHAAHAAa ~ ! ! ! ! ! ! ! “

💙

Yes Jin I’ll support you in the future-!!! ヾ(>▽ <、 )

I’ll never not be obsessed but it’d still be nice to have more substantial content to gush about and do that with.... Kinpri come back and release an anime continuation.... give me the Jin plot development....kinpri come back my happiness is a little too reliant on you

After the showings you get an email asking for feedback which is cool! I’ve been waiting to complain about how 法月 is written as Noriduki instead of Norizuki for the longest time but I never had a chance until now haha. Makes it so painful for me to buy Jin merch. Also begged for an anime continuation. I wonder how much they take into account feedback? I guess I’ll see when/if they start writing Jin’s name how it’s supposed to be.

ANYWAYS

IF YOU WANT TO GO TO A PRIZOOM, DO IT!

Prism shows really are best experienced with a community!!! If you like kinpri it’s a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to experience what a cheering screening is like with the Japanese fanbase from the comfort of your very own home which is most likely nowhere near Japan!! Everyone should experience prism shows!!!! I have no regrets and I’m still so hyped from the prism sparkle!!!

ANYBODY CAN ATTEND AND BUY TICKETS EVEN WITHOUT JAPANESE INFORMATION!!!

 \\   GLORIOUS SCHWARZ!   //