someone saying they wanna make love to me is so different than them wanting to fuck me, instead of thinking “oh yay i’m gonna get a new bruise maybe on my cervix” instead i start crying and bawling and bitching about how i’m dying for gentle wanting touch and not just the affirmation that i can be fucked but that it’s something wanted with care and attention
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Could John start hurting himself in trial 3?
TW FOR SELF HARM
So I’ve got a lot of theories for trial 3 and stuff but this is the one I want to talk about first since it was the one that stuck out to me most yet I haven’t seen people talking about the possibility
I actually wrote about this theory quite a while ago which I’ll just link to but I definitely do think it’s very likely but hasn’t been discussed much.
For a brief summary of the post I made it’s a theory on how John may have self harming desires but doesn’t physically hurt himself as he’s afraid of hurting Mikoto. Basically it’s how the reason why Mikoto’s clothes are so tattered is because John has been ripping them apart in another way to harm himself but not physically hurt Mikoto. Heck, there’s very clearly bite marks on the clothes so I highly doubt it was from the fight with Kotoko. And as well as just ripping his clothing it probably explained the breakdowns John is said to have at night especially in that one minigram where Es heard on it and there was a lot of crashing sounds and stuff breaking, even ripping sounds which definitely matches with what I was saying. So John does all of this in a method to self harm as a stress reliever but not physically harm Mikoto.
So here’s the trial 3 theory. As of recently Mikoto has stopped denying John’s existence as everything he’s seen in heard it’s just too much for him to deny anymore. And instead of that he’s began to hate John so much and blame him for every bad thing that’s happened, even going as far to blame him for what happened to Mahiru even though it was very clearly Kotoko’s fault. And with John, he loves Mikoto. Dedicates his entire existence to him and despite all the constant trauma and suffering he’s endured the only thing that keeps him going is the possibility that Mikoto will love him and praise him for saving him.
“Hey now, I saved you, right? So why in the hell are you crying?
Cling to me, hoist me up as your "savior", stand up and sing out your gratitude, that'd be good.”
Judging by these lyrics, it seems John is somewhat aware that Mikoto is denying his help but still wants to believe it. Even Neoplasm he says how Mikoto’s entrusting him with his heart, which can either be he doesn’t fully know about the hatred or is denying it. But what I’m really worried about is how much Mikoto loathes John in trial 3 and what he could do.
As I said earlier John dedicates his existence to Mikoto and I couldn’t explain how John may feel after he would realise his hatred for Mikoto aside from his entire existence being denied. I already discussed this in another theory but for John to so deeply love Mikoto and dedicates everything to protecting him and only holding on with the possibility of approval and being told he did a good job, only to be met with unimaginable hatred from the person who he idealises as someone who could never hate anyone must be devastating on so many levels for John and… you can tell where I’m getting at here.
So what would happen next? Could perhaps John feel so betrayed by Mikoto that he could go to actually physically hurting himself out of conflicting feelings around Mikoto? Loving him like that but feeling so betrayed and hurt that he just tries not to care about Mikoto any more and harms himself out of both previously established coping mechanisms and spite?
It’s hard to tell here, as John is one of those characters who it’s very hard to predict what would happen next so who knows what he might do. I just believe this may be the most likely based off things that have been implied and established.
And just to address a potential elephant in the room is I highly doubt John would disappear in trial 3. That’s not how it works, and just because Mikoto may not be Guilty any more doesn’t mean he would be relieved from all stress so John definitely would still have his purpose. And I think it’s most likely why John claimed that he would disappear was that he believed Es hated him and wanted him gone, so he claimed that he would disappear if Mikoto were to be voted Innocent as a way to sway Es to that verdict. And there are lines such as “I’ll play dead even if I’m alive right?” And “can’t get rid of me now” that definitely imply that he will stay or perhaps pretend to go dormant which perhaps would be interesting as we’ve seen him masking as Mikoto in the minigrams before so it would be interesting if he does that in trial 3 perhaps. And side note even though this is kinda cheating theory wise but it would be stupid to remove John from the story like that so uhhh.
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More 1980s Tumblr!
👩🎤starmanss follow
I’m never going to get over the fact that THE DAVID BOWIE and QUEEN made a song together like omg my two faves teaming up to make the ultimate song is awesome!!!!!!!
🔁👨🏻anotheronebitesfollow
OMG SAME BESTIE FREDDIE AND BOWIE STOOD IN THE SAME ROOM AND MADE MUSIC IS SOMETHING THAT ME A FEW YEARS AGO WOULDN’T HAVE BELIEVED LIKE AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
987k notes
💋robbiesmith follow
I’d like to think I’m a nice person
🔁🏜boysdocry follow
Didn’t you roast a smiths fan so hard they deactivated?
🔁💋robbiesmith follow
New year, new me
🔁🏜boysdocry follow
That was a month ago
🔁💋robbiesmith follow
NEW YEAR NEW ME!
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🌃iancurtisss
OMG WAKE UP JOY DIVISON/NEW ORDER GIRLIES NEW ALBUM JUST DROPPED
ALSO NEW MUSIC VIDEO FOR ATMOSPHERE LIKE IM NOT GOING TO SPOIL ANYTHING BUT IT MADE ME CRY JUST KNOW THAT
🔁🎸hookysbass
FUCK YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!!
GONNA GO WATCH IT NOW AND ILL LET YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL AFTERWARDS
🔁🎸hookysbass
Update: I cried. Like full on sobs. Haven’t done that in years since
🔁💐new-bernie
Same guys same. I’m a mess
🔁🛤stephmorriss
I’m still crying at that last bit
🔁🌃iancurtisss
DONT REMIND ME STEPH😭😭😭😭😭
🔁🧛🏻belalugosifucks follow
Do you all want a hug? Especially @hookysbass cause girl what happened
🔁🎸hookysbass
Ian’s death happened
9k notes
🪨combatrocks follow
CLASHIES! REMEMBER WHEN JOE WENT MISSING BEFORE THEIR UK TOUR IN 82? YEAH GUESS WHAT THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO TODAY
🔁📻thisisradioclash follow
YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT THOSE LONG AND GRUELLING THREE WEEKS HAPPENED THAT LONG AGO
YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT THE TWEET THAT BROKE US IS THREE YEARS OLD NOW?!
i think I’m going to throw up
🔁🥊ifoughtthelaw follow
Show a Clash Stan this and they will tell you their deepest darkest secret
🔁🪨combatrocks follow
STOP PLEASE NO MORE
🔁 🔥londonsburning follow
Hey guys guess how long it’s been now:
6 FUCKING YEARS!!!!!
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💋robbiesmith follow
I want this man to kiss me passionately on the mouth:
🔁🕸 spellbndgrrl follow
Well I want her to step on me:
Yeah break my back with those black leather heeled boots 😍😍😍😍😍
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🌕killingmoon follow
It’s always Robert Smith this and George Michael that, but where is the respect for the incredibly strange boys?
🔁🐶campervanlassie follow
THIS OMG WHERES THE LOVE FOR MY BOYS? CAMPER😤VAN😤BEETHOVEN!!!!!!!!!
🔁🐁talking-rats
It’s been years since I last heard the name David Byrne spoken on these hallowed grounds. He was once the king for us weridos but now he’s not and it makes me sad. Miss seeing that loser in his big suit everywhere on my dash
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(Prev fake dash)
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