#sorry i saw a mutual reblog directly from them and i like the mutual more than i dislike pb

[briarpatch-kids]

Pssst... friendly reminder that prismatic bell doxxed people over internet drama and is just kind of an asshole in general.

[rkvriki]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ enhypen obliviously in love

hi.......lmfao i keep disappearing i swear i'm alive but my isnpo has been going down the drain but i got this cute lil idea also to take a break of all the smutty things i've been posting lolz... anyways hope you enjoy this one !

make sure to leave feedback and reblog! my requests are closed and my talk box is always open so lets talk!

WARNINGS ! none really i think?? this is just not my best work im sorry </3 word count: 1.9k a/n: sorry that some of them, mainly hee's, are smaller than others, my brain isn't functioning and i had a writer's block during this and if it's not goo it's bc i quite forced myself to write this bc i wanted to post sth :(

୨୧ LEE HEESEUNG ! - trying to hold your hand and failing

you and heeseung met through mutual friends in your first year of college and you became almost inseparable ever since then. in the beginning of it, you would only be together when the whole group was, but as time went by and you both started feeling more than just platonic feelings you two started hanging out alone as well. it was usual for heeseung to walk you to your apartment after classes and today was no different. you two walked side by side, the sun almost setting behind you. it was mostly quiet except for the background chatting and the small talk you two would make about something you saw. you could feel heeseung’s hand brushing against yours from time to time and you were internally cursing him out for not holding your hand already. after a few moments of silence, you heard heeseung sigh as he gained courage to hold your hand. his hand got closer to yours but- oh! a light post came between you two. needless to say heeseung was a blushing mess while you laughed at him.

୨୧ PARK JONGSEONG ! - confronting you about it

anyone had to be really blind to not notice the romantic connection there was between you and jay. it was so obvious you were both in love with each other, it was almost painful how one of the sides didn’t notice. that side being you. it’s not like you didn’t like jay romantically, because you do. a lot. but you felt like he just saw you as a best friend he tends to protect a lot. jay didn’t really show it, but he gets really frustrated when he tries to make a move on you in a subtle way, only for you to put him in the friend zone, but it’s all unintentional. every time someone tells you “jay totally likes you.” you’re quick to dismiss them because he would never see you like that. even though you’re the one saying it, it breaks you inside. until one day, you’re both in a diner, sharing fries and a milkshake and you can see jay fidgeting nervously and bouncing his leg repeatedly. “you’re restless, what’s going on?” you ask him, worried. jay sighs heavily and props his elbows on the table, staring at you with a serious expression. “look, i don’t know if i should just give up, because at this point you have to be pretending not to know.” he says “T-to know what?” he laughs at that. “that i like you, dummy.”

୨୧ SIM JAEYUN ! - tries to kiss you and fails

as childhood friends you and jake were always expected to end up dating by your fellow family members. you would always brush off any comments about you two (deep down you wish they were true) while jake just smiled like a fool while looking at you. it was no surprise when jake told his friends he liked you. it wasn’t hard to notice how he felt about you, seen the way he looks at you with glimmering eyes as he took in every word you say. he has never really tried to hide how he felt about you. he wasn’t ashamed of it and couldn’t wait for the moment you realized he liked you, because deep down he knew you felt like him too. it’s funny to him how he’s always making flirty comments and giving you kind of romantic presents and still you just thought he was playing his role as your best friend. but still, even though it was all funny and entertaining to watch, jake was tired of waiting and he decided to just directly show you how he feels. so that’s how you find yourself sitting in the park bench with him as layla plays around. jake takes a quiet deep breath as his hand comes up to brush your hair from your face, making you face him. he takes that as an opportunity to lean down. you, thinking he was gonna whisper something, turned your face to the side, making him bump his head against you. he starts laughing at you, making you confused. “you can’t really see it, can you?”

୨୧ PARK SUNGHOON ! - misunderstanding gone right ?

no one who knew you two understood how in hell you and sunghoon weren’t a couple. it was so obvious you both liked each other but still none of you seemed to do anything about it. you two were your class’s representatives so you two were almost always together and it wasn’t too hard to notice the lingering touches or stares you shared. but something the other students didn’t know was that you two had actually talked about your “feelings”. one day sunghoon almost overheard you telling your friend you liked him. “you like me?” he had asked “no! no, i don’t like you, sunghoon.” you answered trying to play it off. he nodded, his lips pursing. “good, then because i’m in love with someone else.”. it was something along those lines and you two had never talked about it again, but the tension never left. it felt heavy on you and it was painful to spend time alone with sunghoon so you settled that you were gonna tell him the truth. “remember that day you asked me if i liked you?” he hummed as he stopped in his tracks. “well, i lied. i like you, actually. i don’t want things to get awkward because you don’t feel the same but i needed to be honest.” his eyes widened as he stared at you like you were crazy. “are you kidding me? i only said i didn’t like you because you said you didn’t like me.” you gasped and pointed an accusing finger at him “why did you lie then? you said you were in love-” “hey! don’t put the blame on me now you lied too.” “well, we still can fix it right?” you said laughing making him do the same.

୨୧ KIM SUNOO ! - “PFT! who would ever like me?”

you and sunoo weren’t the closest people ever but you two spent a lot of time together since pretty much all of your friends were mutual. still, that fact didn’t stop you from developing a silly crush on him that quickly turned into something more serious the more you got to know him in the very few times the two of you were left alone after a group hangout. no one knew about it except for your best friend. you never told sunoo, not because you were afraid of rejection or him being rude because with how sweet his personality is, he would’ve rejected you in such a friendly manner it would make you think he’s reciprocating the feelings, but because no one like him would ever like you, he was way out of your league. so, confessing was definitely out of question, no matter how much your best friend would insist you would simply not do it. but in reality, it wasn’t really like that. one day you were hanging out with sunoo and your best friend at a cat cafe when suddenly in the conversation you said something along the words of “who would ever like?” and bold sunoo, was not afraid to hide his sincere feelings and answered with “i do.” he smiled while you looked up blushing furiously. your best friend laughing maniacally. “w-what?” sunoo chuckled at your reaction. “i thought i made it quite obvious that i liked you, silly.”  oh! who would’ve guessed!

୨୧ YANG JUNGWON ! - heard you liked “someone else”

you and jungwon had met each other in sophomore year of highschool and it was safe to say there was a connection instantly that was more than just a platonic one. you two quickly became attached at the hip. if jungwon said he was going somewhere it was sure that you would be here two, if you were being invited somewhere they could already expect the “can jungwon come along?” question, and vice-versa. it wasn’t strange when people came up to either you or him and asked if you were dating each other and it honestly shocked everyone when you both would always answer no to it, even your own girlfriends found your “friendship” strange. they did not find the idea of a boy-girl friendship weird or impossible to exist but they just couldn’t see your dynamic as friends so it was bound for them to question you. you heard the question so many times you decided to just tell them “fine! yes, i like him so, what?” you saw their shocked faces but they weren’t looking at you. you looked behind you seeing jungwon behind you. when you locked eyes he was quick to turn his back and walk away making you panic. a few days have gone by after that and you decided you needed to talk to him. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. i didn’t want things to get ruined by this.” jungwon stared at you “who even is tha guy?” he asked making you look at him as if he had three heads. “what?” you asked “what what?” “jungwon the guy is literally you, i thought that was settled already.” jungwon stayed silent before laughing like a maniac. “if you’re here to make fun of me you can-” jungwon shut you off with a kiss, making you relaize where things went wrong.

୨୧ NISHIMURA RIKI ! - i don’t even know how to word this one

let’s settle one thing. you two knew you both liked each other. romantically. you just don’t bother on labelling it or directly showing it to each other. everyone around you found your dynamic honestly weird but to you two it was more simple than people put it to be. it all started when you were really oblivious about ni-ki’s feelings for you so he decided to hint that he liked you more than a friend. like one time you were walking to his house and he just shoot “you look cute.” but you didn’t quite hear what he said, distracted by a dog “what did you say?” he sighed “i said you look like a fruit.” “riki that does not make sense, but whatever you say.” and he started gradually getting bolder. “i can’t get this song out of my head.” you told him during class “i can’t get you out of my head.” oh! that was new information for you “thanks…?” at this point you were acting dumb for him and he couldn’t take it anymore so he got even more straightforward. during one of your daily walks you were rambling about a flower you saw on the way and he just let you talk as his hand sneakily grabbed yours, making you stop talking and falter in your steps “what?” he asked as if it was nothing “n-nothing!” he smiled as he kept walking along with you. after that day he noticed a change. a good one. and that’s when he realized you had realized so he decided to just get to the point “is it weird if i kiss you?” he asked when you were eating lunch in the school garden. you put your drink down and turned to look at him. “honestly, riki? yes. do i care? no.” so with that he grabbed your face, kissing you as he smiled against your lips.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words: 

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

[fruitflow]

sorry im on anon but im genuinely scared to show my blog. tha might discredit what im about yo say but i feel like you should know about this. there’s a group of your mutuals/friends who are planning an attack on you. im not sure if theyr all your mutuals but i know from looking at your account that you reblog from them. they added me to a group chat on discord a few weeks ago and they’ve been trying to obtain your ip address and location. i haven’t left this group chat because im afraid they’ll try to do the same to me and im worried if i directly say their names they’ll figure out who i am. im sorry i would say more if i wasnt scared. im scared even sending this but i feel gross seeing the things they say without you knowing and i fear youre safet as well. please keep yourself safe. im sorry. i

man fuck you for this. i have severe paranoia over an old ex friend who actively used to stalk me on tumblr, who also is still friends with people from an old group chat, which is why i had to move to this blog in the first place. this ask made me instantly panic and go into fight or flight mode. i was so convinced for a few minutes that they found me again and that i was in genuine danger. im so fucking pissed off why do you think this is a funny copypasta to send to people this was the FIRST THING i saw upon waking up. go kill yourself im not joking

[marshberri]

CRASHING INTO HERE )

HI‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

FIRST OFF HAPPY BIRTHDAY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ HOPE YOU HAD A RLLY GREAT BIRTHDAY AND WISHING YOU THE BEST‼️‼️‼️

Ok uh where to begin, uh first off I love you so much wth‼️‼️‼️ . However we are gonna need to get a new house soon, probably explosive proof too.

Umm still so insane to me how quickly we grew close, like to the point we're even qqps⁉️⁉️ INSANE… but arghhh IT MAKES ME RLLY RLLY HAPPY

Like I still remember like the first time you reblogged one of my electro posts AND THEN TAGS YOU PUT MADE ME GIGGLE SO MUCH but also like it gave me such a motivation boost seeing how you enjoyed it. AND ARGHH THEN SEEING UR ART MAN….M AGRHHHH DUDE YOUR ART IS SO YUMMY, AND THEN BECOMING MUTUALS ….. dude I'm so bad at interacting with mutuals but the fact we pretty quickly started talking and exchanged discord users and started talking more

AND LIKE all the silly shenanigans and interactions we get to on tumblr HEHEHE, I look forward to those a lot and they make me really really really happy

AND AGRHH still so insane how linked our brains are, literally the other half of me, it's so crazy to me to connect with someone so easily like that and like argh MANNNNNN

IDK IT MAKES ME RLLY HAPPY, YOU MAKE ME HAPPY!!!! AND I RLLY RLLY LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

so uh yeah HAPPY BIRTHDAY ‼️ (oh sorry for nearly killing you with the electro shocker angst (no I'm not ) (love you still <3)

oh ok ...!!!!!! erm. errrr WHATOKAYYYYYY

HEHE THANK YOU SO MUCH ‼️‼️‼️it was a good day :3 and now even better ehehehehe (READING THIS MADE MY DAY WTH!)

HEHEHE I LOVE YOU TOO!!!! SO MUCH I REALLY DO!!! and. well yeah. but do we have the money to get one. we might as well get banned from the country ,😓😓

YEAH.... i was really surprised it happened so fast too but I'M SO RLLY HAPPY AND SOOO HAPPY TO BE QPPS W/YOU ^0^ ♥️♥️

yeah i was going through the tag and i saw that and i went INSANEEEE I WAS PACING AROUND MY ROOM A LOT 😭😭😭 still makes me giggle. AND HEHE HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!

AND THANK YOUUUUU!!!! it means so so much to hear that 😭😭 AND SAME. SAME. i suck SO much at directly interacting with people oops. and still we started talking rlly fast and argghhhh crazy stuff

:333 me too!!!!! the shenanigans are so silly.... they always make my day and i look forward to them!!!!! they make me happy too ILY!!!!

AGHAHAHA YEAH. YEAH I FEEL YOUUUU WE'RE PRETTY MUCH EACH OTHER'S OTHER HALVES ‼️‼️‼️linked brains i tell ya. i never ever connected with someone this smoothly it's insane !!!! wthh!?!

EHEHEHE YOU MAKE ME HAPPY!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO<3333

thank you again!!!! (sigh. it's okay. (OK NVM!!!!! (yeah yeah... love you too :3)

[bamboozledchaos]

hi bamboo, i was wondering if i could maybe ask what's going on with luvajax? from what i saw people were bullying them and it looked really bad but i don't really understand why. you seemed like you were involved in it also (since you reblogged their post) so i thought maybe you would be able to tell me? sorry if this is bothersome :')

Thank you for asking, and I shall try to explain both sides. Everything is ‘alleged’ until every single one of them gives their explanations and apologies. @ohmykazuha for the love of Xiao, answer to this. @wispycecilia as well. Our mutual status depends on your response. EDIT: these two mooties seem to have misunderstood and had apologised, so it’s not up to me at this point.

I do not condone hate sent to anyone, and I beg of all of you to be cordial and check every first-hand information before solidifying an opinion. I will also be using gender-neutral pronouns for everyone because I am unsure. Press the read more if you are okay with learning about the discourse.

Basically, an anonymous friend of @test-tube had claimed that they suspect @/luvajax of copying their theme, dni and the sort. It is understandable that the feeling of being ‘allegedly’ copied feels wronged.

@/luvajax had responded, and the reply is also publicised on their blog. They had immediately changed their theme and dni, although ‘allegedly’ not have had copied the anonymous friend of @/test-tube.

There are mixed thoughts on their reply. From @/luvajax, it was cordial and nice. From @/test-tube, it was hostile. I shall not be biased here for the sake of reporting the ‘alleged’ facts.

The discourse started when their friends responded in ways that appear to most as cyberbullying. According to @/test-tube, it had came from a state of platonic defense and returned ‘hostility’.

Five people, two of whom I am/was moots with, had been ‘allegedly’ cyberbullying @luvajax. No matter what they had intended, it is still cyberbullying and unwarranted. Please check @/luvajax’s posts for direct first-hand information.

Again, no matter their actual history, the hate that was sent to @/luvajax was too much for them, reasonably so. Numerous hate anons had bombarded and unfollowed their account and I quote, ‘ruined their account’. It does not appear to be a lie, but again, judge for yourself as long as you don’t send hate.

@/luvajax then posted multiple posts regarding the ‘alleged’ cyberbullying, after being damaged emotionally. People started to return their graces unto their side, perhaps even those who had sided with the five beforehand for the copying-themes ‘allegations’.

@/test-tube responded by releasing one statement and another (intended) apology. According to my conversations and their posts, both sides are at fault. Though, the apology does not seem to be working, as @/luvajax was still hurt and angered. According to @/luvajax, they still want an apology for the emotional damage and hate they had received for the ‘alleged’ plagiarism of themes and dni criterias.

These are what I know, and let me reiterate three things.

One, do not send hate to anyone involved. The cyberbullying from hate anons to @luvajax started from that. We do not want a repeat of that because no one should be hurt in their safeplaces.

Two, seek out both sides for the first-hand and second-hand informations before making the final judgements. I appreciate you reading my third-hand information, but to retain accuracy, read from the sources directly with my summary.

Three, do not send threats. It has been enough hate and downbeat energy in the recent Genshinblr community. The third point is similar to the first point, but oh well.

That is all. Thank you.

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Right, I honestly can’t believe I’m having to make a post like this but here we go..

A couple of days ago I found two gifs of Mark Gatiss loose on the internet. Not from a tumblr page, nor any website with a creditable name. I then uploaded these two gifs onto my dashboard and it gained a tiny bit of attention (less than 20 notes).

From here, I ended up getting an individual who claimed the gifs were hers- and I’m not doubting this, it’s whatever- and then proceeding to comment a url to the original post.

Great. That’s fine! Absolutely okay!

I merely then stated that the url didn’t work for me. But I apologised on my post, proceeded to ask if the individual would still like me to put their name down as credit, even though I didn’t get the gifs directly from her and had no form, therefore, of knowing who originally made them.

I had no answer. I then scrolled through my own dashboard and saw that this individual had made an entire new post with the whole of the gifset they had made with a smaller caption, at the time, of simply stating that they’d seen a post go round with two of their gifs and so she was re-posting the original.

Again, this is absolutely fine. No worries.. but I proceeded again to apologise, offer to give credit or, alternatively, just delete the post. I, again, had no answer.. but then saw that another comment had been added, indirecting me about taking the gifs and stating that people should give credit “and no- the ‘internet’ doesn’t count”. As though it was like I was lying about where I had found the gifs- I wasn’t. Trust me, I’m not that desperate for gifs, nor feigning recognition for running a three second video through an app to make it into a gif.

Once again, I apologised. I took down the post, reiterated that I genuinely didn’t find them on tumblr or anything alike, said sorry once more for the confusion and even reblogged their post stating my apology, outlined my mistake, and encouraged others to instead return to the original post and share from there instead.

I haven’t heard back from the individual at all during this, despite it being a fairly long time since I messaged and they have made other posts/comments or whatever since. I will now be taking the action to simply block them and get on with it- which is something I didn’t think I’d have to due as I usually love my interaction with the tumblr community.

I just never expected to be so rudely indirected and ignored following an honest mistake in which my apologies were ignored, despite my removal of what they claim I “stole”. Frankly, I feel pathetic even making this post, but I understand we have mutual pages in common and I just want to make it clear that I am not a bad person. I admit to my mistakes and errors, apologise for them, and rectify the situation to the best of my ability.

And I know it’s not really the point, and I know some people get more possessive over others about things.. but the fact this has come about over a gif is what has upset me more. Nothing would stop me taking literally about 3 minutes of my time to screenrecord the EXACT time stamp of the video in which this gif came from, and running it through a free app on my phone to make it a gif.. thus, making it my own. If it was an original piece of art work I found, honestly I’d accept any slander I received. As an artist, I’d be gutted seeing something that took hours of my time gaining attention without being credited.. but this was two gifs.. probably took no more than 5-10 minutes to make the entire set. By using an app and a public video available to everybody.

I just.. I’ve been having an awful time in my life with my mental health, and maybe this is why I’m taking it to heart a bit more. But being targeted by somebody over double my age over something so tiny has really upset me, especially since I tried all I could to rectify and apologise for it.

I won’t be on here for a while now. I need to sort my head out and let this blow over. I know it sounds dumb, but I just can’t be on here right now. Apologies to people enjoying my fics, I know I said I’d update soon, but I’m just not in the right headspace.

If you’re just going to comment negative stuff, don’t. Please. If you’re just going to forward this on to the person I blocked. There’s no point. I’ve apologised, I’ve deleted the post, and they’ve chosen not to accept. If they still make comments about me, I don’t want to know. If you can’t accept that this has upset me, just block me- I don’t want to have to deal with negativity on an account that has been my comfort for over four years now on a website I’ve loved for so much longer.

I’m going to delete the tumblr app and be completely inactive for a few days at the very least. Sorry again to the person I upset, sorry if you truly thought I stole something you had made intentionally, and sorry to anyone who I’ve upset in the process. Sorry for making this post.

See you whenever,

mycrofts-gunbrella

[desidarling123]

Alright, I'm a little bit new, but listen... I'm a wolfstar stan and I don't see a real reason for this particular drama flare up. First of all, I don't like remadora and I doubt I ever will, but that's personal preference and I don't think the wolfstar fandom thinks there's anything wrong with the remadora fandom. With the reblogs on both sides, it looks like wolfstar fans think remadora fans are accusing wolfstar of being problematic, toxic, and/or abusive, inherently (I don't know the history behind you and op and I'm going to stay out of that as well but I'm talking about the fandom to fandom accusations). And remadora fans think wolfstar fans are accusing them of being homophobic because they don't ship wolfstar? That's not true, like I said, that's personal preference and I agree with what you said about nuance. The homophobic thing is in the context of accusing wolfstar of being problematic. To clarify, it's not that if you don't ship wolfstar you're homophobic, it's that if you think it's problematic while NOT thinking remadora is problematic (because, again, nuance) then that seems pretty homophobic. Anyway, I don't know. Maybe the fandoms just want a reason to be mad at each other and this isn't helping but I just wanted to clarify anyway.

You’re fine, and thank you for hopping into my inbox! Let me smooth the waters as bit -- us folks on the Remadora side are well aware that there are loads of issues with our ship, too (thx 4 nothing, JKR). We talk about it a lot within our community, and I think a healthy amount of critique is something everyone should be open to. 

What’s not been OK (and what I sort of jumped down OP’s throat for, which I understand, to unassuming onlookers would have been very !!!!) has been a recent flouting of what I would call traditional rules of engagement in fandom -- if you dislike something, tag it anti-X, and don’t cross-tag where someone who DOES like the ship might see it. 

Instead, as of late, the Remadora tag here and elsewhere has been FLOODED with accusations of homophobia (fully baseless, as you said) along with loads of general negativity from folks who do not know anything about us or why we enjoy the ship. People who are NOT a part of our community have felt entitled to entering our spaces and harassing us over what we like. 

The point of irritation (that led to the post OP talked about) is that the relentless attacks on our ship have come ALONGSIDE claims that Wolfstar is 100% unproblematic, or a “better alternative”. This feels unfair -- whatever your personal preference, painting one ship as strictly Bad and one as strictly Good is preposterous on face. It also puts us on the defensive -- yet again -- and so of course the counter has been to say, well, if we’re so Bad, what about This Thing About Wolfstar? Or This? (The kicker here being that we STILL manage to tag our critiques appropriately, even if that respect has largely not been returned to us)

It’s not enough for people to not like or be indifferent towards our ship -- instead, some folks have become hell-bent on proving that Remadora is the Beacon of All Things Wrong with fandom. Which is, frankly, exhausting.

OP has been part of that deluge of negativity -- their contribution was a meme  that deliberately misstated the facts of a real case, and spurred further attacks and accusations of homophobia towards our fandom. There’s been other accusations, too, but the homophobia one has struck a personal chord because so many of us ARE, in fact, queer.

They’ve also engaged on a personal and extremely rude level with many of my mutuals (the ‘cyberbullies remadora stans’ in their bio is a nice touch), so when I saw the post on my dash I did get angry. I got angry, because I looked into the very serious accusations his post made, accusations that had made so many of us feel guilty over something (a supposed lawsuit from Hers Truly) that we couldn’t have possibly had any control over -- only to find out they were all bunk, and clearly written to spur more hatred between the two sides.

Also, before I end, I’d just like to clarify: 

I was being snarky in comments to snipe at OP directly, but I have nothing personal against Wolfstar. (I actually have grown to like it quite a bit, despite other drama.) Nor do I think a ship needs to be canon for you to enjoy it -- that’s the whole fun of fandom, of filling in the gaps. Who cares what a renowned TERF has to say about it? Every iteration of these characters and pairings has a right to exist without backlash. You can enjoy Wolfstar and I can enjoy Remadora and we can all stick our🖕 at JKR, because I think both communities have been critical enough of her work and motivations to have reclaimed the ships -- problems and all -- on our own terms.

Anyways! Sorry for such a long post, and thanks for being so polite about it. I hope this clarifies some things from our POV. 

[thisfoolwrites]

My Altair (2)

Part 2 Here’s the second part to my Bokuto fic! Thanks to all the likes and reblogs on the last one. I appreciate each and every one of you. Please enjoy!

Warnings: References to underage drinking Genre: Angst to Fluff

Part 1  Part 3

Waking up the next morning, {Y/N} felt like her head was going to explode. She groaned and tried to roll over to her back, and noticed that there was a blockade in her way. Fully opening her eyes she noticed Kenma curled up next to her. She scooted over to give herself room to move and gently poked his cheek.

“I'm sorry Ken, for worrying you last night.” she murmured. “I didn't mean to disappear on you, I just didn't want to talk about it at the time.”

“I know you didn't mean it.” His soft voice replied,  “And I'll wait till you're ready to talk, just don't do that again ok?” The two siblings shared a look and knew that they would be alright. {Y/N} was grateful that Kenma didn't bring up Kuroo. She didn't want to cry anymore over him, but knew that she was still in a vulnerable state.

“Now get out of my bed so I can shower and pack. We got that training camp at Shenzin tomorrow.” She gently shoved him towards the end of the bed. With a small laugh Kenma went back to his own room. Once the door was closed she sighed and laid back down on her back. 

Had she really worried everyone that much? Closing her eyes tight she was left to her thoughts once again. The headache she woke up with seemed ten times worse now. Getting up she stopped at her dresser, looking at the numerous trophies and medals she had earned from the time she was ten up until she was fifteen. Had it really been three years since she had given up skating. Noticing the picture of her and Kuroo at his first high school inter-high tournament, she picked it up and glared at it. The inter-high was the same day as a competition she had been looking forward to. But she never made it there. With the picture in her hand, she walked over to the trash and dropped it in.

After grabbing her clothes she made her way out of her room and to the shower. She heard noises from Kenma's room and assumed he had began gaming. She hoped a nice hot shower would free up her thoughts. “Think of puppies or something.” She grumbled to herself.

Bokuto glanced towards his phone for what seemed like the thousandth time. Had she meant that text or was she still under the influence? He supposed he'd get his answer Monday when the training camp rolled around. He saw a new text from Kuroo. His eyes narrowed at his name alone. How was he supposed to get along with Kuroo all week? He also had to get Kuroo's side of the story. Did he sting {Y/N} along last summer, even knowing how Bokuto felt? Or had it been a non exclusive thing that she misread? Either way all he knew was the Kuroo had some apologizing to do. Unlocking his phone and glancing at the words, he frowned again.

Kuroo: Thanks for finding her. We really appreciate it.

Bokuto: Its no problem.

Kuroo: Did she happen to say why she ran off? Kenma wouldn't tell me anything and {Y/N} wont answer my texts or calls.

Golden orbs widened in shock. Kenma hadn't told his friend that he was the reason she ran off? Was {Y/N} really ignoring him still? The scheming captain had really done a number on their mutual friend. If she had chosen not to say anything, he had no right to share that either.

Bokuto: Nope. All she wanted to talk about were the stars.

Not a total lie, he thought. With a heavy sigh he went back to packing for the training camp. He really hopped {Y/N} would show up. Even though she had no interest in being a manager at all. He backed out of Kuroos contact and went to {Y/N’S}.

Bokuto: Id love to go stargazing, maybe the stars will be visible this week.

Monday rolled around faster than {Y/N} would have liked. It was 6am and she was standing next to Coach Nekomata taking roll call and making sure everyone got on the bus. She could feel the third years and Tora starring at her. She figured that at this point they all knew about the fallout between her and Kuroo. After making sure everyone was on the bus she looked toward the coach and climbed on herself. Kenma, who usually sat next to Tora, had saved her a seat next to him. She smiled before accidentally locking eyes with the Scheming captain. She could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes. Looking away she took her seat next to Kenma, giving him a small thanks.

She pulled out her phone and smiled looking at her notifications. She had been texting the owl haired captain since yesterday. Looking at the pictures he sent she let out a small laugh, catching the attention of the setter beside her. He glanced down and saw who she was texting and he managed a small smile. Maybe this is what she needed. While he still wasn't sure what had happened, he just wanted to see his sister happy.

Her team had changed into their practice clothes and were getting ready to head to the court when the Karasuno bus pulled up. She smiled and watched with Yaku the excitement on the two first years. Not to mention the loud voices of the second years.

“They sure are a lively bunch huh?” She mumbled absentmindedly. Yaku just nodded along.

“Its never dull moment with them.”

“Well, we better get in there, I've got manager things to do.” Yaku could almost hear the sigh in her voice.  He wanted to ask if she was ok, but figured he should wait. He just nodded and followed her inside. {Y/N} looked around the gym and saw the other schools practicing already. He eyes landed on Fukurodani. She had never given other schools much thought. After Saturday however, she had couldn't stop thinking about the ace. As if he sensed someone looking at him he turned. Golden orbs met {E/C}. A large grin spread on his face and he waved his arms in the air wildly. {Y/N} let out a small laugh when she saw this.

“Never a dull moment indeed.” She murmured with a smile before walking off and meeting the other managers. Yaku just stood there and with his mouth agape. She had been so gloomy all week, just what happened when Bokuto picked her up from that party.

“What was that?” Came the deep voice of Kuroo, causing Yaku to jump. “Jeez, why are you so jumpy?”

“When you come out of no where that happens! You need a bell!” Kuroo let out a laugh and went to go practice with the rest of his team. He'd have to ask Bokuto later what was going on with him and the older Kozume.

The training camp had been going smoothly, for the most part. Aside from Kurasuno losing every match they had been apart of, and the fact that Nekoma's captain and manager still weren't on speaking terms. {Hana} let out a sigh and walked outside after taking a shower. Shenzin's school wasn't directly in the city so there were less lights, but she still couldn't see the stars that well. While walking she ran into the Silver haired setter of the Kurasuno team.

“Hey, you're Sugawara right?” She called out to him. He glanced over and smiled.

“That's me. You're {Y/N} Kozume right? We didn't get a chance to talk at the practice game.” Suga acknowledged. {YN} let out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, the boys on my team are pretty protective. Sorry about that.” she mumbled. “I actually had a question for you.” Suga raised an eyebrow when he noticed her eyes were trained at the sky. He saw her glance at him for a second and hummed in acknowledgment. “Can you see the stars from Miyagi? Here you can't see them very well. The lights get in the way and you can only see the basic shapes. No constellations or the planets.” Out of all the questions she could have asked, he wasn't expecting that. Volleyball questions yes, stars, no.

“You can. There's a hill we would go to as kids to go watch the stars, as well as the fireworks.” He didn't miss the way he eyes lit up, only for a brief second.  

“Really? It must be nice.” If there had been any other noise he wouldn't have heard her reply. She closed he eyes and turned to him with a smile. “I'm sorry for taking up your time. Thank you though for answering my question.” She gave him a small bow before taking off in the direction of her room. Leaving Suga to question if she was ok. He'd have to ask Kuroo next time he saw him. With a sigh he took off towards the showers.

Bokuto had just gotten done practicing with Akaashi, Kuroo and even Tsukishima. How they had convinced the tall blonde to keep coming to the late practices was beyond him. He walked out of the showers with a towel around his shoulders. His usually spiky hair was down and in his eyes. Using his left hand he pulled the silver locks out of his eyes and noticed a figure waiting at the vending machines. He smiled upon seeing the familiar long {H/C} locks.

“Hey hey hey!” he called quietly, well quietly for Bokuto. “What are you doing here?” he questioned. “Not that I'm not happy to see you.” he quickly added with a blush, his hand going to the back of his head. Hearing the small laugh he glanced back at her.

“I was thinking we could go to the hill and look at the stars. There's less lights here than in the city, so you can see them a bit better.” she questioned. Her eyes never met his, they just stayed trained to the floor. She was waiting for the rejection that she's been so used to. Why would anyone want to do something she wanted? Even though he had texted her and said he would like to, she was convinced it was only said out of pity. After all she was drunk when she asked. Opening her mouth to speak again she was cut off by the surprisingly quiet voice of the ace.

“Sure, I'd love to.” he grinned, holding out his hand to her. Shocked {E/C} eyes met smiling gold orbs. Her smile grew larger as she grabbed his hand. “Maybe you can tell me more about Vega. You talked about it the other night.” She blushed when remembering that night.

“We should take a trip to Miyagi for that story. Sugawara said you can see the stars perfectly from there. Less lights, After all its kind of a long story, not to mention its a love story, you sure you want to hear it?” she inquired. No one had shown an interest in the stars when she talked about them. They usually just brushed her off and changed the subject. Bokuto beamed down at her once they had made it to the hill outside the gym.  

“Of course! You eyes always light up whenever you talk about or even look at the stars. You are passionate about it, like I am with volleyball. Even though I'm pretty sure you don't like the sport at all.” he joked as he sat down.

“Its not that I don't like it. Its just all that's ever talked about anymore. I get that it's important, nationals is coming up and its Te-Kuroos third year, but not everyone is as invested in it like he is.” she grumbled while sitting next to him. She laid down on her back to stare at the sky, a little smile still gracing her lips. Bokuto didn't miss her slip up. He noticed how she called him Kuroo instead of Tetsu like she usually does. However, seeing her smile after crying that night, he made sure that he didn't bring it up. She'd talk about it in time, and he wasn't gonna push her.

What the pair were unaware of were a pair of hazel eyes watching them. Kuroo frowned at seeing the scene before him. He couldn't explain the feeling in his chest. He was with Akemi, so why did he feel jealous of Bokuto?

Taglist: @samkysnks​

[uwua3]

Your writing is amazing! Like honestly! ✨ Can I request some yuki dating headcanons like with an s/o. If not I understand have a great day! 😊

thank you so much ♡ can i just say i love your support and enthusiasm for my writing 🥺 i always see you liking/replying to my posts and i am In Love With You i swear *thousands of hearts* thank you for everything~ but yes, of course! one super soft yuki hc coming up right away!!!

summary: yuki was yours and only yours, and he wanted to make sure everyone knew

author’s note: this was so sweet, it gave me multiple cavities! i’m sorry if it’s awkward, i’m not too experienced in the art of ~ love ~ even though i’m such a hopeless romantic! hope this was cute enough :D

i hope everyone knows relationships don’t make you whole, you are your own person. your s/o can help you improve to be the best version possible, but you are just as unique and interesting as an individual, never forget that ♡

word count: 1,803

music: Q&A – seventeen ft. ailee, hold your hand – lee hi

couple outfits.

🌻👘 rurikawa yuki

yuki didn’t just date anybody, let’s make that clear. in fact, yuki never dated anyone before you!

yuki liked you, so, so much. before he said anything, it physically hurt him to be so distracted by your presence when he had so many responsibilities

(it also hurt tenma when backstage, yuki forgot what he was doing and didn’t look where the needle was going when he became too entranced)

(“you idiot! stop staring at them for one second!” tenma yelped, not seeing yuki’s embarrassed blush before the two got caught in a petty argument once again. obviously, you had to play peacemaker)

but yuki was scared every time you looked at him and saw your stupid smile. you seemed so happy around him, and yuki could tell the signs before you even knew

you had to like him romantically, your hugs lingered and personality was made of sugar only around him

you were so obvious, you liked him and he was scared of messing everything up. it was so rare to find a good friend like you, was it worth it to risk everything?

before he even knew it, yuki was preparing a rejection because no person could come between him and his work (at least, that’s what he tried to reason it with)

but every time you looked at yuki, with all the affection in the world, he didn’t have the heart to say it

maybe, yuki didn’t want to say something he didn’t believe in

so the best solution was if he avoided the topic, you guys would be friends forever and nothing would have to go wrong

so when he confessed out of no where, yuki slapped his hands over his own mouth because he was such an idiot (for once)

you two were buying fabrics for the next mankai production, yuki happily browsing the store with the increased budget

yuki practically pulled you to the secluded corner, convincing you the store’s hidden gems were always in the piles of boxes about to be donated

when you found a discarded silk scarf hidden amongst the mixture, you looped it around your own neck and pretended like you were ali–baba, reciting the lines from water me! to get his attention

(you helped yuki practice his lines in the script so you were practically an understudy)

yuki already started ignoring your ridiculous tactics, about to tell you to shut up and help him find the perfect material when he turned around—you had it!

yuki rushed forward, unintentionally pulling you in close as he inspected the fabric’s qualities, not realizing how you were invading his personal space

“how did you even find this, you must be my...” yuki stumbled on his words, looking up to see you staring at him with such unmasked fondness, it made him become flustered

“your what?” you questioned, playfully smiling as you leaned forward, causing yuki to automatically pull back

(silly yuki! he forget he still had a death grip on the scarf as you followed him forward, holding out your arm on the wall nearby to prevent you two from falling)

yuki flinched, expecting the impact of the ground but opened his eyes to see you were leaning over him and was trapped between your arms

a beat of silence passed. yuki was about to let go before you moved in closer, innocently tilting your head as you had a cat–like cheshire grin

“tell me i’m yours, yuki~” you giggled, watching the way his face immediately turned red. any other person, he’d push off without a doubt. but he liked that you teased him so much, that you were so affectionate and open to him

yuki wish he didn’t like you so much

he knew you were joking, but,

yuki really did like you so much

“you’re mine. i want you to be mine.” yuki admitted, his expression forming one of shock as if he couldn’t believe what he said. how could he just confess that?! yuki shut his mouth, still against the wall as you blinked once. twice.

it didn’t take long before you fell back from laughter, bruising yuki’s ego as he crossed his arms and looked away, embarrassed

this is what he got for trying to be spontaneous and “in the moment”. yuki didn’t know what to expect, was he ready for this?

wait... what if he’s been reading all the signs wrong? oh my god, what if you didn’t even see him that way?!

“aish... don’t laugh... you’re so—” yuki felt the scarf get yanked around his wrist like a lasso and before he could react, it was you who pulled him in close this time

his hands landed on your shoulders, trying to balance himself but you kept him steady, putting your arms around his waist as you grinned like a little kid

“i like you, too.” you confessed, overwhelmed with happiness as yuki felt the same

yuki smiled and closed the distance, feeling like you two were in your own world

the fabric store was forever his favorite now, because it was the place he 1. found the perfect silk material for a costume (every time), 2. kissed you for the first time, and 3. had his first relationship start

from that point forward, you two entered a relationship full of mutual respect, care, and even love later on

(yuki said it first, surprisingly enough. but this time, it was on purpose)

yuki fantasized about being the dream couples he saw online in his pinterest board, reblogging couples outfits and creating a private folder he gazed at every once in a while

when you discovered this, you intentionally showed up wearing the same color scheme as yuki and the rest was history

once yuki saw you were just as excited and giddy to appear as a couple, yuki put his sewing skills to work as he made custom pieces he knew you’d love

you name it, you probably got it: matching berets with your signature color, pretty hair ribbons and bows, and for anniversaries/special events, yuki would work day and night to craft the outfit of your dreams

yuki loved expressing his affection through gifts because it was personally difficult to say he liked you without sounding like his default sarcastic state

every day was valentine’s day, by the way

so showing up with a huge, perfectly wrapped box or bag with colorful tissue paper that always correlated with the gift wasn’t out of the norm, yuki loved spoiling you~ (lucky you!)

if yuki saw something in the window on his way home that reminded him of you, he bought it without a second thought and watched your eyes lit up (so worth his empty wallet)

if yuki found a teddy bear that was the embodiment of all things soft and lovely, it was already at your door step with a handwritten letter he would never admit to writing

everything that made him happy started reminding yuki of you (you had to directly tell him to stop to prevent him from going broke)

any time yuki went out shopping, he took you because he liked seeing what your interests and dislikes were

yuki was very thoughtful and considerate, always paying attention to how you reacted to certain things outside of the fashion world as well

but you also watched him closely as well, and it allowed yuki to reveal his more vulnerable, insecure side when he found out you didn’t judge him and even, understood him

you also practiced doing couple’s PDA with him when you noticed how scared he got

you would initiate hand–holding, hugging, and doing small things like bending down to tie his shoes or any ribbon he had on his outfit; just casual contact to get him used to gentle touches that were more than just friendly now

it took a while, but yuki started returning the favor by fixing the accessories in your hair and even wore this tacky tenma bracelet you bought for him as a gag gift

(he hated it and the way tenma looked like some egotistical maniac, but it made you laugh every time. it was worth it) (maybe tenma’s dumb face was good for something)

it was also nice to hear genuine, real compliments everyday. you make it your goal to remind yuki of the small details you loved on his outfit, or how soft his hair was, and the way he presented himself just to show your attention was all his when you two were together

yuki would grow to trust you with his whole heart, feeling his own heart become candy because you were just so sweet

you stole his heart and never gave it back, and it was lovely to know you were taking great care of it and truly treasured him for him

between the two of you, you taught yuki how to trust and rely on other people despite his independent complex as he often put on a strong front

yuki would go to you first if he had a problem, which was hard at first but he got into the habit because he wanted to show you he cared

yuki would text you frequently asking about your day (newsflash, he actually does want to know) and would send you updates of any piece he was working on

you understood yuki prioritized his seamstress career and always proudly spammed his social media posts with heart emojis and adoring compliments

(he always had to hide and cover his face with his hands because he was so grateful you were so proud) (he never told you that, though)

even though he’d instantly get flustered and tried to deny them, you helped him believe them more and more everyday until he could confidently take anything on in the world

(“if my partner thinks it’s cute, i’m cute!” yuki loudly said to the mirror, hearing your laugh the next room over. oops)

you guys didn’t have to talk every single day, though, don’t get me wrong. you two always wanted the best for each other and defined healthy boundaries to allow both of you to flourish and prosper!

yuki, at first, always apologized for spending time on certain projects but you never accepted them, instead encouraging him even more and praising his work ethic

yuki still sent you links throughout the day of things to try and cute outfits he’d love to see you in

it was so thoughtful that throughout the day, you were always on his mind even if he was busy

but no matter what, you two always supported one another through your endeavors and did everything 100% with each other’s best interests at heart

you really liked yuki, and he liked you back just as much, maybe even a little more

(okay, definitely a lot more)

[vindicatedvirgil]

only fools rush in / part one: two parties and a lot of crushes

this first part is kind of all over the place. basically i just wanted to establish the dynamics going on here and i figured the best way to do so would be through group hang outs and stuff like that. it feels like i cover a lot here, but future installments will be more focused on one couple or group! sorry for the kind of wackiness and yeah.

i don’t think that there’s anything that i need to tag for this, but this part includes: QPP loceit, Remus making jokes, Roman crushing hard, Emile and Remy very briefly.

[masterlist]

if you want to be tagged when i update, please send me an ask/reply/reblog and i’ll be sure to add you for the next part! 

read to the end for the title and a small teaser for part two!

next update will be on: Sunday, July 19.

---

“Wait, you have a twin?” Patton looked at Roman in deep disbelief. “Why didn’t you get an apartment with him?” Roman just shrugged, unloading one of his boxes, hanging up his shirts. “Lo, did you know about this?”

“Yes. He’s one of Janus’ new roommates,” the man in the tie said, leaning against the wall, eyes focused on the phone in his hand as he typed quickly. Patton’s jaw dropped, and he crossed his arms, frowning. 

“Yeah, he’s moving in with Virgil Cloud, too,” Roman said, eyes focused forward, but he couldn’t hide the light dusting of pink that appeared on his cheeks. Virgil was the techie for the last school production, and Roman couldn’t help but fall for the embodiment of a dark and stormy night, with his black nail polish and purple fringe and–

“Earth to Roman,” Patton was waving a hand in front of his face. Roman blinked, then smiled awkwardly at his pastel-clad roommate. “You should invite them all to a party tonight! Logan, will you tell Jan to bring his roommates?”

“I- we were gonna…” Logan sighed, then nodded, head hanging in front of him, “I guess so.” He didn’t have the heart to tell his roommates that he and his partner had other plans for the evening, so he texted Janus quickly about the change.

Roman and Patton want you to bring your roommates over for a party tonight. We can leave early, though. -Logan

A party could be fun, Lo. Besides, I think that Virgil has a crush on Roman. ~Janus

I believe that it’s mutual. I don’t really want to stick my nose into their business, though. -Logan

-

Logan opened the door to the apartment to see Janus, Remus, and Virgil standing there. Remus was holding a twelve-pack of beer, Janus had a bottle of wine, and Virgil kept his eyes down on the floor, not acknowledging anything as the three stepped into the apartment. Logan kept the door open since it was already warm in the apartment with the three of them; the end of summer was always unbearably hot in their town. Roman immediately gravitated towards Virgil as the others went over to the kitchen counter to open their drinks.

“Hi Virgil,” Roman said, smiling brightly. “I don’t know if you remember me–”

“Of course I do,” Virgil muttered, leaning against a wall awkwardly. “You were the lead in the play last term.” Roman stammered over his words, his cheeks once again dusted with pink.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, that…” he chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “You uh, did a really great job as one of the tech guys. It was… awesome.”

“Thanks.” Virgil stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, and he still hadn’t looked up at Roman.

“Can I uh… get you a drink or something? Or…” Roman’s words trailed off, he wished that Virgil would just look up at him and meet his eyes and then maybe they’d fall in love–

“Hey there!” Emile stepped in through the open front door, carrying a plate full of baked goods. “I just wanted to welcome you… oh, looks like somebody’s having a party!” Roman grumbled then went up to the man in the sweater, wondering how he could cope in the heat. “Hi there! I’m Emile Picani, I live downstairs!” “Nice to meet you. I’m Roman, and my roommates Patton and Logan are… somewhere,” he said, sticking his hand out. Emile giggled and brought the tall man in for a hug. “Oh, uh…”

“Sorry, I’m a bit of a hugger!” Emile laughed, setting the cookies down on a table. “You all go to the university? I’m working on my psychology doctorate there.” At this, Virgil perked up and came over, and Emile held his arms out for a hug.

“Please don’t,” Virgil muttered, and Emile backed up a little, giving a toothy smile. “Uh… you study psychology? I’m majoring in that…” He said shyly, and Emile pulled him by his wrist to sit down on one of the couches.

“Okay, I’m your mentor now! Let’s chat,” The two went to go sit down on the couch, and Roman frowned. Of course Virgil would be interested in chatting with someone in his field of study, but… he really wanted to talk to Virgil, maybe ask him on a date. He stuffed one of the cookies that Emile made into his mouth and groaned at how delicious they were. Of course he could bake. He’d probably be able to steal Virgil away, too.

Remus was watching this from his spot against one of the walls, and noticed his twin’s distraught demeanor. He thought about saying something, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Patton smiling brightly at something that Janus said, his sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, exposing colorful floral tattoos on his forearms, and that was it: Remus was smitten. He didn’t hesitate to approach the trio talking at the kitchen counter, Janus and Logan sharing a bar stool, Patton resting his chin on his hands as he listened to the pair recall how they decided to become partners over the summer break. Remus settled into a chair next to Patton, and silence fell over the table.

“I don’t believe we’ve met, cutie pie,” Remus said, raising an eyebrow at the small man. Janus and Logan exchanged a look and got up to go chat with Roman, and Patton turned his attention to focus directly on Remus.

“You must be Remus!” Patton exclaimed suddenly, eyes bright as his smile beamed at the curly-haired man, and Remus suddenly wished that he was wearing sunglasses. “I can’t believe I didn’t know that Ro had a twin!”

“Ah, you must be Patton,” Remus said, realizing that this was the roommate he didn’t know. Patton nodded excitedly. Remus stretched his hand out and grazed his fingers against the floral tattoos, and Patton shivered. “These are beautiful, though not as gorgeous as you, flower.”

“T-thank you,” Patton said, his face bright red at the fact that he was complimented and given a nickname. “Do you have tattoos?” Remus nodded and rolled up one of his jacket sleeves, revealing a morning star.

“I minor in medieval history. Weaponry is so fascinating,” he mused, and Patton nodded, brushing his short fingers over the tattoo. “I have a few more, but they’re in… unique places… Maybe I can show you someday, flower.”

“O-oh, uhm…” Patton stammered over his words, the blush spreading down to his neck and to his ears. “M-maybe…” Remus smirked, leaning closer to the small man.

“If I’m making you uncomfortable, please tell me,” He whispered, and Patton shook his head quickly, which made Remus smile. Patton wasn’t exactly Remus’ usual type; soft boys never paid much attention to those with piercings and a menacing glare, but Remus quickly realized that Patton wasn’t like the others.

“Y-You’re not…” Patton’s face was so red and warm that he felt like he could explode. No one like Remus had ever paid him this much attention. He was always taunted by jocks and punks because of his softness, but Remus? The dark makeup, the piercings, the tattoos, and the leather jacket, it all made him feel… dangerous. And Patton secretly loved danger.

Roman was leaning against the wall, watching as everyone else had someone to talk to. His twin was hitting it off with Patton, Janus and Logan were sitting on one of the couches, looking at something on Logan’s phone, and Emile and Virgil were on another couch, talking about psychology. He had never felt left out from any situation in his life before, but here he was, alone in a room full of people.

He couldn’t help but focus on Virgil, who had lit up as he talked about things that Roman knew nothing about. Roman was, of course, happy that Virgil was smiling, but he wished he was the one making the very tall man smile. Emile seemed nice enough, but… something about him irked Roman to no end.

“Oh, hang on,” Emile’s phone was ringing, the tune to a cartoon that Roman vaguely remembered blasting out loudly. He answered the phone, and Roman listened carefully. “Oh, sorry baby! I’m upstairs welcoming our new neighbors. I’ll be right there. Okay, bye.” He hung up and glanced around. “Sorry, that was my boyfriend Remy, I have to go!” He gave a hug to Virgil who waved goodbye awkwardly, then went around hugging everyone, and then left the apartment, closing the front door behind him. Virgil looked like he was going to melt into the couch, and Roman took this as his moment. He sat down next to the tall man and gave him a warm smile.

“So, uh, what do you think the production will be for this term?” Roman asked, and Virgil shrugged. “I’m hoping for a musical, but I’m not much of a dancer…”

“I kind of want something that allows me to experiment with fog on the stage, you know?” Virgil said, glancing down. “I’m not brave enough to audition for any roles on the stage, but I really like working behind the scenes…” Roman frowned, watching Virgil carefully.

“Well, when they announce the production and if there’s a role that interests you, I could help you… practice, maybe? To build up your confidence,” he suggested, but Virgil just shook his head. “I used to get stage fright really bad. But… if it’s something you love doing… then it’s worth all of that anxiety, right?”

“Is it?” Virgil’s voice was shaky. “In one of my school plays as a kid I fell on my face in front of everybody during my solo. Afterwards, I found out that someone purposely spilled water where they knew I’d be walking.” He twisted his fingers together, and Roman frowned. “Ever since, I haven’t wanted to be on stage in front of others.”

“No one would do that here,” Roman said reassuringly. “If they did, I’d beat them up until they fell on the ground, too,” his face was firm, resolved, and it made Virgil laugh a little. “I think… you should try. I’d love to perform with you.”

“Yeah… maybe,” Virgil looked down at him finally, and Roman thought he would melt into a puddle on the floor. “Thanks, Roman.”

-

“Remus is so cool, you know? And he’s so sweet,” Patton was blabbering. It was a few weeks after the party, and the three roommates were playing Mario Kart in the living room. In the time since that first party, the semester had started and they were all buried in school work, and had only seen the other three in passing or going out to dinner as a group. “N-not that you’re not cool, Roman, it’s just… he’s on a different level!”

“Yeah, a dangerous level,” Roman muttered so that Patton couldn’t hear, but Logan did, and he sighed. Roman didn’t want to reveal his fraught relationship with his brother to Patton, but he also wanted to protect the soft, small man. But… Patton was so enthralled, and Roman had never seen him that way. He seemed happier since meeting Remus, and had a confidence that didn’t exist in him before. But Roman definitely had a surge of concern for the other man.

“Do you think we should invite them all over today?” Patton suggested as he finally rolled over the finish line, in second to last place. Logan had gotten first, of course, and Roman a close second. This was the usual for their games. 

“I actually have plans with Janus–” Logan started, but then his phone rang. He answered it. “Hello? Oh, hi Janus… what? But we were…” he sighed, then covered the receiver while he looked at the two others. “Remus wants to invite us all to their place for a movie night or something.”

“Yes!!” Patton exclaimed happily. “Oh, I should figure out what to wear. What time, Lo?” He asked, his excitement bubbling over. It was contagious. Roman could practically see the cogs in Patton’s mind moving as he thought about what to wear and how to do his makeup.

“Eight, apparently,” Logan responded, his lips pulled into a taut line. He brought the receiver back towards his mouth. “I guess we will be there. Yeah, see you later. Bye.” He hung up, a frown on his face. Roman wondered if he should dress nice, too, since he’d be seeing Virgil.

“Dibs on the first shower!” Roman exclaimed, dropping his controller and running off to the bathroom. Three guys and one bathroom wasn’t ideal, but it was what they had to deal with.

By the time all three of them had gotten ready, it was almost 7:30. Roman went with his usual attire, as opposed to Patton, who went a little overboard (probably to try and impress Remus): he was wearing a pale green sweater and some shorts, knee-high socks, and his converse, his makeup bright and colorful, the emphasis on his lips and eyes. Logan was wearing his usual attire as well, but had slipped into a coat since they’d be walking to the other building. It was only a few blocks away, but things always got sidetracked when Roman and Patton were involved.

Once Patton slung his messenger bag over his shoulder, the three set out to the others’ apartment. On their way down, they passed Emile, who was walking into the building with another man, their fingers intertwined.

“Hey kiddos!” Emile said cheerfully, waving his free hand at them. “Remy, these are the new neighbors I told you about!” The man called Remy raised his eyebrows then nodded in greeting.

“Hey babes,” he said. 

“Where are you all going together?” Emile asked, and Roman thought it was a bit nosy to ask of them, but he said nothing.

“Oh, we’re going to Roman’s twin brother’s apartment–”

“Yes, and we really should get going now. Goodbye Emile, nice to meet you Remy,” Roman began to nudge Patton along the sidewalk, and Logan shot the couple an apologetic glance. 

-

“Ugh, this movie is booooooring!” Remus yelled, startling the others. He had thrown his arms up in frustration. Logan and Janus were on the couch, trying to wait for the right moment to leave since they had their own plans. Remus, Roman, and Patton were on the floor or on cushions, eating the pizza they’d ordered, and Virgil was on the lounge chair, just observing.

“You’re the one who suggested a movie, idiot,” Virgil muttered, crossing his arms. Remus frowned, then finished off his bottle of beer. He made a soft hmmm noise, then began speaking again.

“This empty bottle gives me an idea. Spin the bottle, anyone? Or perhaps… truth or dare with spin the bottle?” He suggested, eyebrows wiggling. Patton’s face turned bright red, and some of the others all mumbled their disagreement.

“Isn’t that game for high schoolers, Re?” Roman asked, rolling his eyes. He glanced at Virgil, though, and wondered what it would be like to kiss him tonight. Not that he’d ever do that, Virgil hadn’t shown any interest in him, but…

“Sounds like fun,” Janus said, smirking from his spot next to Logan, who pouted. Janus noticed this and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Oh, come now, Lolo, just a round or two and then we can go, okay? You know how much I love truth or dare.” Logan sighed, then nodded.

“Fine, a few rounds.”

The group moved the coffee table out of the way and sat in a circle, the empty beer bottle laying in the middle of all of them. “Alright, rule time,” Remus started. “The spinner asks the person it lands on for truth or dare, and then must ask them. The person who last did the thing spins it next. Capiche?” Roman shrugged and then pat Remus on the shoulder.

“You spin first, bro,” he said, settling in as he sat cross-legged on the floor. Remus shrugged and leaned forward, spinning the bottle. It pointed towards Logan, who sighed. Remus smirked, crossing his arms, deep in thought.

“Truth or dare?” Remus asked finally, meeting Logan’s eyes. It was silent for a few moments as Logan pondered his options. Janus leaned over and whispered something in Logan’s ear, and his partner nodded.

“Truth,” Logan said confidently, and Remus raised an eyebrow. 

“Would you wear your best friend’s used underwear if you went camping and ran out?” Remus asked, and Patton giggled, covering his mouth to prevent spit from flying everywhere.

“Uh…” Logan glanced at Janus, who was trying to hide his laughter at the audacity of the question. “Yeah, I would? I’ve worn Janus’ underwear before–”

“Whoah, whoah, too much info, stop,” Virgil waved his hands, groaning. Patton pouted a little, frowning at Logan and Janus.

“I thought I was your best friend, Lo?” He asked, and Logan hit his forehead with his hand. 

“You- Pat, ugh,” Logan was exasperated, and he glanced at Patton carefully. “You’re both my best friends, okay?” Patton seemed pleased with this answer, a smile crossing his features again. Logan leaned forward to spin the bottle, and it landed on Remus. “Uh…”

“I mean, if it’s just you two who get to play, that’s fine,” Virgil commented, leaning his back on the lounge chair behind him.

“Maybe if it lands on Logan again, though, you respin?” Patton suggested, and everyone else nodded in agreement. Remus shrugged, and then nodded to Logan.

“Dare me, Lodaddy,” he cackled, and Janus rolled his eyes, but still slid his hand over to rest on Logan’s thigh, a protective glare directed at Remus.

“I dare you to get an A in one of your courses this semester,” Logan smirked, adjusting his glasses. A few of the others grumbled about how that wasn’t fair, but Remus nodded in acceptance and held out his hand to shake Logan’s.

“Dealio!” He spun the bottle again and it landed on Roman. “Alright, twinny twin, truth or dare?” He waggled his eyebrows at his twin.

“I know better than for you to ask me a truth. So, dare,” Roman said, confident with his decision. An evil look crossed Remus’ eyes only briefly as he glanced between Roman and Virgil.

“Kiss the back of Virgil’s knee,” he said simply, and Roman nearly choked on his own saliva. Virgil buried his face in his hands, grumbling a little. Patton started to defend the two.

“Now, Virgil, you don’t have to–”

“Yes I do, it’s a fucking dare,” Virgil mumbled, standing up. He rolled one of his pant legs up and turned around so the back of his leg was facing Roman, whose face was bright red and who felt like his breath was being stolen from him. “Just make it quick, Princey.” Roman turned more red at the nickname, which probably stemmed from his role in the production from the previous semester. He scooted over to Virgil and pressed his lips to the bend between Virgil’s thigh and calf, and then scooted back, saying nothing. The tall man rolled his pant leg back down and sat down, explicitly not looking at Roman. His pale face was lightly pink.

After a few awkward beats, Roman leaned forward and spun the battle. It landed on Patton, who looked to be in deep thought. “Truth or dare, Pat?”

“Hmmm. I think truth is safer,” Patton admitted, and Roman thought a little. He hoped that his plan would work, but was concerned over what could come from a question like this. He really did want happiness for Patton, even if his brother was involved.

“What are three things you first noticed when you met your crush, if you have one?” Roman asked, and Patton glanced down at his fingers, twisting them together, his face dusted with a pale blush. Remus perked up a little, listening carefully to the answer the small man gave.

“U-um… well… I noticed that he has gray in his hair, that he has a lot of piercings, and that he has a cute smile,” Patton said this so quietly that everyone had to lean in to hear it. Patton’s face was bright red by the time he finished listing off the attributes, and everyone’s eyes trailed over to Remus, who was smirking. Patton quietly excused himself and practically ran to the restroom, grabbing his bag along the way, leaving the rest of the group in an awkward silence.

“Fuck, that’s on me,” Roman said, standing up. “I’ll go… check on him,” he said, and he followed Patton to the bathroom, knocking on the door once. “Pat, it’s me Roman, are you okay?”

“Why did you ask me that?” Patton asked from the other side of the door. It sounded like he was crying, since he was sniffling a little bit. “You know I like him, but I wasn’t ready to say anything, Ro.”

“I’m sorry, Patton, I just… I saw that you liked him and figured a little nudge could help…” Roman explained, then sighed. Maybe he had overstepped a little. “Do you wanna go home?”

“Roman,” a voice came from behind him. It was Remus. “Is he okay?” Concern was etched on his face, and he had crossed his arms. Roman was surprised to see this much care coming from his twin.

“Is that Remus? Oh god, hang on,” Patton sounded like he was panicking. “Where are my makeup remover wipes–” A clattering of things falling out of his messenger bag could be heard. “Shoot!” Remus and Roman exchanged a look as the noises of Patton being flustered echoed into the hallway. “I can’t believe… such a fool… dang it… stop crying, idiot…”

“Patton,” Remus stepped past Roman to knock on the door. “Patton, it’s okay… I uh…” He cleared his throat, “my first impressions of my crush were that he has really awesome floral tattoos, his pink hair is awesome, and he dresses in a really cute way.” He admitted. Roman started to back up, but saw Patton open the door and peek out.

“R-really…?” He asked. It was obvious he had been crying, his eyes were red and his eyeliner had smudged, but he had wiped the majority of it off. “Um…”

“Patton, do you wanna go on a date with me next weekend?”

Roman scooted out of earshot, and stepped back into the living room, but not before he heard Patton squeak out an affirmation. Janus and Logan had disappeared, maybe off to go and do whatever their plans were, and Virgil was scrolling on his phone.

“Sorry about Remus’ dare. If I’d have known about what he’d ask me to do, I would’ve gone with a truth instead,” Roman admitted. Virgil’s face hardened, but the theater major didn’t notice this. “I’d hate to make you uncomfortable.”

“Uh, it’s okay…” Virgil didn’t meet Roman’s eyes, though, as he sat down beside him on the couch. “Actually, um. I was looking at the roles for this next production? Have you looked yet?” Of course Roman had looked. They were going to be doing a production of Wicked, and Roman was absolutely stoked for it.

“Yeah, I’m planning on auditioning for Fiyero…” Roman mused, then remembered the conversation he had with Virgil a few weeks ago. “Is there a role you’re interested in, Virgil?”

“Um, actually, I’ve always loved Boq, but… I don’t know if I’m talented enough for that,” he admitted, twisting his fingers together. “Plus I’m a little tall to play a Munchkin.” Roman sighed, then smiled encouragingly at the taller man.

“Well, I can help you practice for the audition, if you’d like!” Roman said, and Virgil nodded. “I don’t think your height will affect anything, it’s all about talent!”

“Oh. Yeah… I’d uh… really appreciate that, actually.” Virgil responded, still looking down at his hands. “I just… auditioning is really scary, you know?” Roman shrugged, then set his hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“Maybe they’ll let us audition together, so that way you’ve got a familiar face on stage,” he suggested. Virgil nodded, a small smile appearing on his face. “Hey, don’t worry, Virge. I think you’re gonna do great.”

---

teaser for part two: a botanical garden and some deep conversations

“I’ve never seen you so panicked over a first date, so I think that means that this is… real for you. You’re going to take this one seriously.”

~

“I want someone who understands how special I can be… but also someone who I can pamper and love with all of my heart.”

---

part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten

---

taglist (send an ask, reblog, or reply if you want to be added)

@winterrose42

@are-you-even--real 

[masterlist]

[iamanartichoke]

Why do you feel that way about fandom? (In regards to your latest reblog)

Ah, I’m not sure if I know how to explain it, but I’ll try. (This got long, so I’m really sorry.)

The thing is, I first got into the Loki fandom early in 2018, so I’m coming up on about two years of being active here. That first year was so fun and exciting; I was elated to be able to discuss my Loki theories and meta with like-minded people, and I was so happy (and surprised!) at the attention my fic was getting.

I was also still at a point where I believed IW was going to blow our minds, so there was that extra kind of thrill of suspense (and a bit of fear but, when you believe in the MCU and haven’t yet lost faith in its writers/directors, the fear is surface-level and adds to the thrill - there’s not really the accompanying dread and despair). 

IW was a crushing blow to that, of course, but even though we were all devastated, we were all devastated as a fandom. We were still in it together; we had one another to vent to and cry with and share fic with. “Loki is alive bc reasons” became kind of an unwritten rule in most post-IW fics; we all agreed that Loki deserved better. 

In 2019, two things happened: one, I was underemployed and dragging my feet on finding better employment due to my mental health, which ruined my life for a little while. I had to move back in with my parents, which (I love them and am grateful they were willing to support me, but) was a toxic environment. I was too depressed to indulge in my escapism the same way (fic and fandom) and my progress on my stories slowed way down. I’ve never quite been able to get back the momentum I had when writing Sanctuary, but that’s another issue. 

The second thing that happened was, obviously, Endgame came out and whatever theories and hopes the fandom was collectively holding onto about Loki were crushed. Not only that, but the portrayal of Thor seemed to amplify the divide in the fandom between the pro/anti Ragnarok argument. 

It seems, to me, that what was a series of battles or skirmishes only became an all-out war after Endgame. That’s only my perception, of course, but I do feel that the latter part of 2019 saw the divide grow larger and larger. Everyone had opinions on what the “correct” portrayal of Thor was, and how it related to Loki, and whether fanon Thor and Loki’s relationship was founded in canon or not. Everyone was defensive of their own point of view; bullying and name-calling and anon hate became more widespread. 

Again, this is just my observation. Those who’ve been on the front lines since Ragnarok came out probably have a much different perspective; I’m only talking about what I observed bc it directly impacts how I feel about fandom these days. 

So here we are in 2020; like I said, I’ve been here about two years. I haven’t rewatched any of the Thor movies in ages (although @delyth88 and I are talking about it), because they make me so sad and also so angry. Sad for what we had, angry for what could have been. So much wasted potential. Loki’s horrific end hangs over everything, as does Thor’s radical character change, and I don’t have the same excited outlook about the characters and the meta potential anymore. 

Not having watched the movies in a long time, along with that feeling of “ugh” around them, impacts me creatively bc I’m not actively feeding my writing inspiration. For me, fanfic writing comes from being so full of feels about the source material that I just can’t get enough and I need more. I draw my inspiration from things like watching Loki’s facial expressions, catching subtle moments between Thor and Loki, analyzing the way they speak, thinking about the story choices happening, and so on, and so on. 

My source of inspiration has dried up, in other words, which has made it hard for me to keep a good writing momentum going. I was feeling great when I rewrote Sea, and then my inspiration kind of plummeted again - this time, bc I felt that I did such a good job rewriting and the response was so positive, I didn’t know if I could finish the rest of the story as well. Like I was already setting up the second half to fail, bc it would be much more “rough draft” than the first - revised and polished, yes, but not gone over with a fine-toothed comb the way the first part was. 

The truth is, I carry a lot of stress and anxiety around my writing. I am always incredibly anxious that no one actually likes my fic, that no one is reading my fic, that people think it’s stupid or pointless, that my quirky humorous touches are ooc, that my plotlines are convoluted and boring and my sex scenes awkward and non-existent. 

I’m having trouble with the Valki relationship bc I haven’t watched Ragnarok in so long, I’ve forgotten how much chemistry was between them and how it made me feel. I’ve forgotten why I chose to pair them up in this ‘verse in the first place. And I worry about that, too - that the people who read my stories for the Valki are walking away unsatisfied. 

So that’s where I am with fic writing - slow and steady, still trying to find my footing, still secretly assuming what I write is shit.

This is on top of feeling more and more isolated on tumblr, mostly because of the aforementioned tensions and overall negativity that’s erupted in the fandom. I have been unfollowed and blocked by people who were once mutuals; I have been blocked by people I’ve never spoken to before. 

There’s so much stress surrounding the things I post now - I’m constantly thinking, have I worded this correctly to convey my meaning without shitting on someone else’s opinion? Is this post going to be the one that makes this or that mutual unfollow me? Am I tagging correctly so my pro Ragnarok mutuals don’t see my criticism, and vice versa? Can I still post pictures of Chris Hemsworth, who is possibly the only man in the world I am definitely attracted to, which is a shame bc I agree that he’s kind of a douche now? But he’s so beautiful, but I have to disclaim that it’s just his face I’m attracted to? If I reblog this post about Loki that I think is hilarious, but is also founded on the flat stabby villain characterization, will I alienate my anti friends? Does it imply I don’t understand or appreciate Loki and that, by reblogging the thing, I’m endorsing a shitty characterization? 

And so on. It makes scrolling my dashboard uncomfortable and un-fun, bc I end up saving tons of posts to my drafts without reblogging them, and after awhile I am not enjoying myself, so I stop scrolling. 

But this means I miss tons of mutuals’ posts, and I was trying to check individual blogs for awhile but I kept falling further behind, and there were more and more posts I’d missed, and I’d get overwhelmed and then feel like they probably hated me anyway at this point for being a shit mutual, so I might as well just keep lurking on the dash for ten minutes and call it a day. 

On top of that, I haven’t read fic in awhile bc of this mindset, so I haven’t commented, and then when I don’t get comments it’s like, well, maybe the story’s not shitty but no one’s reading it bc what do I expect when I’m not reading theirs? You’re not special, Charlotte. 

The worst part about all of this is that none of it should diminish (and hasn’t diminished!) my love of Loki as a character. I am excited about the series, but I am also very anxious about it - about the story not being good, yes, but also about the inevitably divide that will further split the fandom. 

No matter how the story goes, someone’s going to be upset. You can’t please everyone, and trying only makes for worse storytelling. So the wank will continue. 

But I love Loki. I love everything about him. I am interested in writing about him and reading about him and thinking about him. I am invested in him and always will be. It’s just that, right now, I’m kind of falling further and further out of fandom and I find I have less to say. 

And so I either have to wait it out, or work on my own mindset, or keep on keeping on. I just don’t know how long that will take or if I’m even liked enough here to try to bother. 

tl;dr: Fandom has made me cynical and jaded, and it has dampened not my love of Loki, but my love of interacting with the Loki fandom.

(I know you didn’t ask for this hot garbage pile of my feelings, anon, so I’m sorry.) 

[hail-doodles]

Hello! I’m not gonna expect you to answer because I’ve been invisible to you. I thought I’d try one more time. You seemed to care before.

To those reading: please do not reblog. Reblogs will be asked to be taken down and this post will be deleted. I am not here to spread drama or cause hate, I am merely just stating side of the situation and trying to find common ground because PM just isn’t working. If you have something to say, you are welcome to comment or PM me. 

Hello.

I’m going to ignore the fact that this is low key gaslighting me again, because you may not being doing this purposefully or knowingly. Instead, I’m just going to get straight to the point because I don’t want to spread drama. I really just want to talk about this like adults. 

In summary: I do care. I really do. I’ve been aware of all of the anon drama that’s been going on and why it was happening—because the gif-collage things you made were taking credit away from the original creators, and people were frustrated with it. As someone who has had my artwork cropped/reposted/stolen, I can completely understand why they were (and are) upset, but I also understood why you didn’t find an issue with it. 

I saw your posts about needing someone to talk to so I stepped in to help, because I’ve seen people being bullied on this app to the point of deleting and I want to keep that from happening. I don’t condone any public bullying and humiliation whatsoever, whether or not it’s deserved. As someone who has been cyber bullied and publicly shamed, I don’t want anyone to ever feel like that. Everyone deserves to feel valid and cared for. 

At the end of that PM conversation after I was reassured that you were okay, I offered you advice to tag each gif creator at the end of the post and explicitly state that you would be willing to take down the post if asked. Doing so would clear up a lot of frustration, and I thought it was an easy enough solution. You didn’t end up taking my advice, which was totally fine with me because it’s your account, so I just went on with my day. Because of this, though, I didn’t want to repost/spread around stuff from you and instead go to the original creators. I hope you can understand why I did this. 

When you PMed me with your posts and asked for me to interact with them and directly tagged me in them, I felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to say anything because I had explicitly said “no” before and I didn’t want to cause any frustration. 

That being said, tumblr lately has been swallowing up my notifications for messages/interactions/etc., so I have little to no idea what I have and haven’t seen or caught up on. On top of that, I’ve been having a difficult time with things in my personal life, so I’ve been solely focusing on my tags/interactions from my notif page before hopping off of the app for the day. I’ve also been focusing my time on promoting my business and trying to get my name out there in the art world, so I’m truly, truly sorry if it comes off as if I’ve been ignoring you. It was never my intention. 

I believe that this is something that can be easily solved and talked through, so you’re welcome to continue chatting with me over PM or in the comments. This ask, though I know your words untrue, made me feel horrible—so from person to person, please do not come into other people’s asks like this. It will make others feel bad as well, and you may not get the same civil reaction. I hope you can understand my frustration and confusion. If you need to discuss anything more, I’d love to hash things out over PM so we can both come to a mutual understanding. 

[scepticaldragon]

Fate | Kylo Ren x OC

Hey everyone!

I’m used to reblog a lot and not write much but there are exceptions, here is one. I guess I got so caught up in the Star Wars hype that my brain found an idea to write.

There are no spoilers for the Rise of Skywalker here since it is set during The Last Jedi, but it is kind of angsty.

I hope you like it (I guess I’m still not good at writing though and I’m sorry about that)

If you read me, I hope that everyone is having a good time for the end of this year and is reunited with their loved ones.

I’m out and I leave you to my awful writing then !

___________________

Fate | Kylo Ren x OC

Warnings : it’s not happy, like at all

1750 words (I got carried away somehow)

She was his anchor. He was her light in the dark. Or at least he used to be.

The two of them had known each other as long as they could remember. He was the son of a legend, a princess who had become a general. She was the daughter of the general’s second, a man who had lost everything but his honour and his child. As the adults were making the galaxy better, the young ones were destined to be part of something bigger. Their faculties with the force had yet to be trained and were supposed to bring balance across planets.

Such was their future, but fate decided against it.

Rey was taking in the atmosphere of the small hut she had to call her own for her training. She never has been used to having much, so the small cabin and its austere interior would do great for her. It was still warmer inside than how the legendary Luke Skywalker treated her.

She heard a knock on the door and a girl she had found on her way to Luke’s planet let herself in.

“Hi, Rey. I figured you would need a blanket or two. It can be pretty chilly on this planet at night.”

The girl was about her age, Rey figured. But there was something about her that made her think she had lived other lives. She did not tell her name, just asked to come on board a few days ago and let her travel with her. Rey did not know if it was her aura or another mystic power that pushed her, but she trusted her immediately and agreed to her terms.

She sat on her bed, laying the blankets next to her. She obviously belonged here, Rey thought. And at the same time, it was as if she was getting to know the place.

“You must wonder why I know this kind of thing and why Luke reacted that way when he saw me.” She spoke matter of factly.

Rey did not have time to process it earlier, but now that she mentioned it, Luke almost ran away to his own hut as he first saw the stranger she was bringing with her and he did not speak once to her for the few days they had been here.

“Luke used to be my master. I was trained here, on this planet.” She paused, somewhat expecting a reaction from Rey who stood there aghast. “I finished my training earlier than expected, due to... particular circumstances. We haven’t seen each other ever since.”

“You’re a jedi and you didn’t think about telling me when we first met...”

“Well... first I’m not a jedi technically speaking since I never completed my training. And second, I think introducing myself as a jedi feels sort of pretentious, don’t you think?”

“Oh don’t play that game with me. You knew where I was going? You knew I was going to find—“

“Find who?”

As he had before, Kylo Ren was unexpectedly in the room all of the sudden, and she did not know what to do.

Meanwhile, the stranger looked more closely at Rey whose stare was apparently blank and yet full of fear.

“Rey? Are you alright?”

Kylo Ren’s brows furrowed when he heard a voice faraway calling her name. He only saw Rey and heard no voice but hers and another coming from afar.

“Rey?” She kept on repeating, still an illusion in Ren’s mind.

“Who’s this?” Ren said, confused. “Where are you?”

Rey got back to her senses and said nothing about the apparition that made her freeze, especially since she did not want the girl to think she was crazy. Or worst, with the first order.

“Um... nothing. I just remembered something... but it’s not important.” Rey thought that sounding just a little bit crazy could not hurt, not as much than telling Kylo Ren was standing right in front of her.

“Oh, okay. So, you’re not mad then? About me not telling you about my jedi past?”

“Oh... no, no. Of course not.”

“Are you sure you’re alright? You seem distracted.”

The more the stranger talked the more confused Kylo Ren looked. He was trying hard to decipher what the other voice said and most importantly whose it was. Rey could see there was something more than could meet the eye.

“No really I’m okay... um... By the way, you never told me your name.”

“Didn’t I? I’m Adena. Adena Fadilyon.”

The name of the jedi apprentice seem to reach clearly Kylo Ren’s ears like an epiphany. Something he hadn’t heard in years and sounded like a revelation to him. Only Rey had to find out what it could reveal. Something possibly deep judging by the shocked look on Ren’s face.

“Tell me about your apprenticeship with Luke? How was it?”

Adena frowned as she knew that Rey probably wanted to know much more than what her question supposed.

“Hard. But Luke is kind of fair. I don’t have a lot of comparison since he’s the last jedi master but he will train you well.”

The scavenger could see that the frown adorned by Kylo Ren was slowly disappearing. He must now hear everything Adena had to say and clearly was not happy about the situation.

“So you met her... Adena... I wonder how. But I guess it’s for the best. Now you can come to me and bring her along, we could be even stronger together.”

Rey was surprised by Kylo’s demand. She was fairly certain that the girl’s power would be of help to him but she also knew it meant more than just another lightsaber on his team.

“When did you get here the first time?”

Adena did not expect that question nor any interest coming from Rey. Yet the trust she had felt for her was mutual and she had no reason not to tell her.

“I should warn you: this is probably a story you don’t want to hear and with people you don’t want to hear about. For my sake, at least. You might have different thoughts about me after that.”

Rey looked directly at Kylo Ren who clearly had something to hide concerning this girl. Yet, he did not seem upset that she wanted to know. That was because he had no idea of Rey’s motivations.

“Adena, I won’t change my mind about you because of your past. We all have one.”

The girl nodded before starting to tell her story.

“I came here when I was eight years old. I had grown up on a rebel base, my dad was second to general Organa and obviously he found out I was force sensitive. And also, I was friends with Ben Solo who would later be called Kylo Ren.”

Rey’s attention wandered between Adena and Kylo. The emotion present in her voice matched his discomfort at hearing the tale of the former jedi apprentice.

“I have been caught between two fires during my stay here. I was on the one hand Ben’s friend...” she winced at using the word friend, as if their relationship still pained her so much time after they had been apart. “Stars, no... He was more than that. He was my lover, the first and only man I will ever love in this galaxy and in this life. None of us wanted to come here but we knew we would be fine as long as we had each other. I sensed pretty early that he was slightly going out of reach, slipping slowly to the dark side... I gave him everything, but everything was not enough.”

Ren looked defeated at that point. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. Rey knew he could not see her but their relationship was probably so strong he could not bear it. As for Adena, it looked as if she had no more tears left in her body, only resignation. Yet pain was obvious on either side.

“What if I told you he heard everything you just said?” This time it was Rey who spoke, earning a questioning look from Adena and a disapproving one from Kylo. How could she handle so much suffering from two people who loved each other when it could be solved this instant?

Adena looked around, half scared and half shocked at the possibility of his presence here.

“What do you mean?”

“For a few days we have been in contact. We can see each other. But you’re the first person that he can hear.”

She froze immediately. While Rey was not sure of her reaction, Kylo, despite the years that tore them apart, knew. He knew the rush of emotions flowing through his lover. A mixture of jealousy, sadness, rage, passion... he imagined them at this moment but there was a time he would have felt them all.

“You have a sort of bond, is that it? I’m guessing through the force?” Adena said calmly, but the raging emotions kept on invading her, clouding her clear thinking, darkening her mind.

Rey nodded and kept on examining the features Adena was showing. She did not know what to expect since she had known her for a few days, but she could not possibly keep her head high, not after her revelations from moments before.

Ren also was hanging onto Adena‘s lips. She had opened a wound he thought was closed forever. He remembered the day he left the academy leaving everyone for dead, save for the few who were willing to follow him. And her. He had never known why she left that night but he never found her. His plan had been to take her with him of course, willingly or not, but he never got the chance.

“Rey, please tell me where you are, I need to know!” It used to be a threat, now it was a desperate plea.

“We used to have a bond of our own...” she whispered, to herself as well as to them, her gaze blank, still processing the situation. “You broke it, Ben. When you left and Kylo Ren took your place... At least you care enough about someone to be able to create a new one” she said, finally giving up.

She rose from her seat and left the hut at a determined pace while Kylo kept on screaming at Rey to hold her back.

Fate was never on her side and she had finally come to terms with the idea.

[clickabletale]

Guess who’s back? Back again-

I thought I was done with this but alas I found out @wolfwarrior142 who apparently unhid her profile after mines came back and got some anon hate over this. 

I hadn’t touched her Tumblr after my reblog since I did mine’s publicly on my blog which I thought was enough to illustrate how bizarre her response was and after her posts disappeared, and I thought that was that so there was no need to talk about the matter. 

Until now where I checked her account from my reblog and saw it was up to see this new text post. The reblog feature was disabled so I will have to reenact it here. 

I only ask, whoever is sending her messages, please stop. That doesn’t solve anything and from how insane her posts and logic are, it’s not worth the issue and it isn’t your place to tangled with it. 

This will be (hopefully) my last message. I say hopefully since I don’t know what will happen after so I keep in mind what could change if something new comes out. 

The post went like this

Anonymous asked:

don’t you feel stupid now for attacking someone over their opinion publicly, now you’re gonna hide? hypocrisy, hypocrisy~

wolfwarrior: I’m assuming you’re the dumb bitch who made that post (or their friend). Just gonna say that you shouldn’t post your dumbass ship hate in the ship tag. For one, it wasn’t even valid hate. You made it sound like you never watched the fuckin show. Also, just to make things clear, I’m not mad that plance didn’t become canon. I was sad, but I figured, oh well. It ain’t my show, it’s not the end of the world, they’re just fictional characters, and there’s no point in getting worked up over it. And then this dumb bitch drops by, tags the goddamn ship tag (even tho its common knowledge for anyone with a brain to be a decent fucking person and not do that, regardless of whether or not they like the ship), and makes a dumbass post while whining that oh boo hoo, poor me, I’m gonna get attacked. Yes you will, you dumbass, because you’re being a moron and an asshole for no reason while literally begging to get shit on. I know you probably get your rocks off to people calling out the dumb shit that you do, but I still wanted to call you out for being antagonistic. Legit, tagging any tags for a ship and then shitting on the ship opens you up to being shit on for needlessly being a bitch, and we have all the right to for you coming into the tag and acting that way. And you or someone else said in another anon message that I’m being “toxic,” but nah, I’m not. I’m just calling you out for being an antagonistic asshole who has no regards for decent tagging, and then I left. I said what I wanted to say, and then I left. I could have picked apart your post, because you made piss-poor “points,” but that was pointless because I knew you wouldn’t have cared if a plance fan had debated with you. I at least wanted to point out your poor decision to tag the goddamn ship names, you dumb fuck. Sorry that I didn’t roll over to you being an asshole and be nice. I’m not gonna do that, and I shouldn’t have to when you were being an antagonistic bitch while crying that “I’m afraid of getting attacked for this.” And I wasn’t attacking you, or at least not extremely. I’m just calling you out for making dumbass choices, and you didn’t like that. Oops, not fucking sorry. Also, I love how you say I’m being a hypocrite for “running.” I blocked you and that other fuck because I didn’t want anymore comments from you popping up in my notes. I said what I wanted to say and was done, because if I hadn’t I knew it was gonna further the argument. Also cuz I was about to go into class for 4 hours and didn’t want to be distracted by your dumbasses. But no matter what, at least I had the decency to actually say my opinions in public where my name was visible. I wasn’t afraid of doing that, cuz I meant what I said and wanted to be publicly honest. Apparently you can’t tho, and neither can the person who sent that other message if it wasn’t you, cuz both are anonymous. You’re too much of a little bitch to show your actual name or use an alternate account to send a message, so you send it anonymously instead. Its never looks good for you when you send anon hate. I try my best to never send anon messages unless it’s not antagonistic, because if I’m gonna say it, I need to make sure I’m confident enough to say it with my url showing. Otherwise, I’m just being immature by sending anonymous hate. But obviously you don’t care about being an immature little bitch who is too much of a wimp to send hate directly to someone with your name showing. That let’s me to know that I’m not the immature one here. Also, if you decide to continue to be immature and send anon hate, I’m not gonna respond further. This is the last response you’ll get from me, because antagonistic babies like you aren’t worth more of my time. Have fun hiding behind disguises and crying about being shit on even tho you 100% asked for it.

First off:  I’m assuming you’re the dumb bitch who made that post (or their friend). Just gonna say that you shouldn’t post your dumbass ship hate in the ship tag. For one, it wasn’t even valid hate. You made it sound like you never watched the fuckin show.

So just gonna say, I didn’t send these. When you went dark, I left it at my reblog. Simple as that. I also don’t know a “friend” you’re talking about. I talked about this to my mutuals but I didn’t see them involved in this at all after the topic went dead. The only one I know who was involved with the post was princessbuttershitz I think? (I can’t with the name, I’m sorry XD) I had not known this user until I saw they joined in and reblogged my post on some stuff I hadn’t talked about, but for transparency that is it. They don’t follow me from what I can see or talked to me further than that so it’s just whatever. 

And second, how was my post ship hate? Flat out tell me? Did I call Pidge a horrible person for Lance? No. Did I demonize the age gap? No. Where did you see hate in that post when all I talked about was doubting Plance being canon, talked about the “development” in comparison to Lance’s romance with Allura and rivalry to friendship with Keith? Please tell me with highlights, I’d like to know.

You also say you don’t care Plance wasn’t canon (good for you, I hope you still enjoy it regardless.) and that it wasn’t something to get worked up over. I completely agree, however, if you did believe that why did you bother to respond so hostile like you did? That doesn’t sound right, you said you shouldn’t get worked up over those things right? Especially my post was only a few sentences talking about doubting Plance was going to be endgame, not as the ship as a whole. (Catch me repeating that here.)

Also I have seen the show since 2017-2018. I got into it and it got me through a hard time, I was there for a lot of the seasons. You can see it on my archive. So a big statement you make there. 

Moving on-

“And then this dumb bitch drops by, tags the goddamn ship tag (even tho its common knowledge for anyone with a brain to be a decent fucking person and not do that, regardless of whether or not they like the ship), and makes a dumbass post while whining that oh boo hoo, poor me, I’m gonna get attacked. Yes you will, you dumbass, because you’re being a moron and an asshole for no reason while literally begging to get shit on. I know you probably get your rocks off to people calling out the dumb shit that you do, but I still wanted to call you out for being antagonistic.”

Guys. I implore you to read my first post. It is the lightest thing I have made. I made it to just be upfront about my opinions in a respectful manner in words than how many other fans would recycle argument to make the ship or characters look bad. 

Also with the parentheses, what if it was a Plance shipper who actively made content whether it be theories/fanfics/art/etc. and made my post, you would attack them the same? I sure fucking hope not. Jesus.

I didn’t want that to happen since I genuinely wanted to treat it like a discussion instead of another poorly made ship insult like people on Twitter did back then. I could’ve gone harder and made it pettier than I did but that would delegitimize my argument.

Once again, besides your tag claim, how was I antagonistic in my post? It’s on you to prove it since you’re making the claim. Shouldn’t be hard to prove if you insist it this much. 

My blog is open for people to see and the only person who has made this an issue is you, no one else in the notes. Only person who I can think of is Swindle94 but they were at least more mature than you.

Legit, tagging any tags for a ship and then shitting on the ship opens you up to being shit on for needlessly being a bitch, and we have all the right to for you coming into the tag and acting that way. And you or someone else said in another anon message that I’m being “toxic,” but nah, I’m not. I’m just calling you out for being an antagonistic asshole who has no regards for decent tagging, and then I left.

Once again focusing on the tags. Okay, upfront. So? If I was attacking Plancers with that tag on, that would be valid. All I did was say “hey plance being canon? i disagree, here’s why.”

I’m sorry but if a few sentence post gets you riled up like that, I don’t believe you don’t care. You obviously do. Especially when you replied publicly to this anon. That is your fault.

Also, yes, you are being toxic for responding like this. I had no insults to the Plance community or the ship in my first post. You charged head-on with no regard and decided to belittle me instead of either ignoring or talking it out like the others. Which is a toxic mindset, using insults to defend your fictional couple. So don’t try to have both, it’s not gonna work.

I could have picked apart your post, because you made piss-poor “points,” but that was pointless because I knew you wouldn’t have cared if a plance fan had debated with you.

Link to my replies to two others who reblogged my post: https://clickabletale.tumblr.com/post/190254499687/swindle94-thats-not-what-i-meant-i-shouldve

https://clickabletale.tumblr.com/post/190254645477/i-shouldve-used-another-word-for-it-while-they

Honestly, if you did pick apart my points instead that would be fine and I welcome it. Would’ve been better than your first response. I’m just gonna say you aren’t going to because you know you can’t.

I at least wanted to point out your poor decision to tag the goddamn ship names, you dumb fuck. Sorry that I didn’t roll over to you being an asshole and be nice. I’m not gonna do that, and I shouldn’t have to when you were being an antagonistic bitch while crying that “I’m afraid of getting attacked for this.” And I wasn’t attacking you, or at least not extremely. I’m just calling you out for making dumbass choices, and you didn’t like that. Oops, not fucking sorry. Also, I love how you say I’m being a hypocrite for “running.” I blocked you and that other fuck because I didn’t want anymore comments from you popping up in my notes. I said what I wanted to say and was done, because if I hadn’t I knew it was gonna further the argument.

Once again, to anyone who wants the original post it is here: https://clickabletale.tumblr.com/post/190247521977/i-remember-i-was-scared-to-say-this-back-when-the

If I’m being antagonizing in my words, let me know where please and thank you. 

And you only worded your post in an attacking manner (you did, throwing insults fast. Don’t tip toe around it, you fired at the most minial shit.)

Also not sure about the running comment? I don’t recall calling you a hypocrite on that, I don’t know what you mean by that.

Also cuz I was about to go into class for 4 hours and didn’t want to be distracted by your dumbasses. But no matter what, at least I had the decency to actually say my opinions in public where my name was visible. I wasn’t afraid of doing that, cuz I meant what I said and wanted to be publicly honest. Apparently you can’t tho, and neither can the person who sent that other message if it wasn’t you, cuz both are anonymous.

I did, my original post. I did so in a way that explained my thoughts in a non-insulting manner. 

You just came in unloaded and wrong, you should just step back to think before replying so people will actually listen and reason with you and no think you are insane.

At least your honest I guess? But that kind of backfired if you hid your profile after. My post is still up, with your words for anyone who wants to see it. Even linking right here. 

And once again, I don’t care to message you since you did block me and dipped. I left it at my reblog with responding to you and talked about the isssue on how dumb it was to get angry over since the only one who seems to be this angry over it, is you.

I don’t want anyone coming for you, and I will say again if anyone intends to: don’t. That doesn’t solve anything so don’t come to belittle her. 

You’re too much of a little bitch to show your actual name or use an alternate account to send a message, so you send it anonymously instead. Its never looks good for you when you send anon hate. I try my best to never send anon messages unless it’s not antagonistic, because if I’m gonna say it, I need to make sure I’m confident enough to say it with my url showing. Otherwise, I’m just being immature by sending anonymous hate. But obviously you don’t care about being an immature little bitch who is too much of a wimp to send hate directly to someone with your name showing. That let’s me to know that I’m not the immature one here. Also, if you decide to continue to be immature and send anon hate, I’m not gonna respond further. This is the last response you’ll get from me, because antagonistic babies like you aren’t worth more of my time. Have fun hiding behind disguises and crying about being shit on even tho you 100% asked for it.

Once again, wolfwarrior142. I don’t care to see you or send things like this. I don’t advocate those messages or hate to you, I want it to stop if it keeps happening but you don’t have a smoking gun in this. 

You obviously have some issues and you aren’t arguing them rationally, and you are advocating for attacks over the smallest shit being a tag about disagreeing two fictional characters were gonna bone. How do you justify something so ridiculous? 

So no matter how much you try to say you’re not a toxic fan if you go out to insult people over their opinion or the tags or whatever when it’s not inciting hate against the ship or you don’t bother to show how it’s hate or debate it.

That is toxic. You can’t spin it around. 

So that is it. I hope this is the last. I’m still in disbelief at how insanely she reacts and justifies her behavior. This is not okay, nothing about her response is okay. It’s a shitty thing to do and I hope you don’t do this to anyone else, that’s all I gotta say.

[ursae-minoris-world]

25 sheith moments

This is a collection of 25 drabbles (of exactly 100 words each) I did for @sheithfest, each using one of the prompts suggested for day3.

You can read it on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19432342

There's a little game going on that the 3 most popular drabbles will either get expanded as ficlets or get an illustration. :)

Here's the thread on twitter: https://twitter.com/UrsaeMinoris2/status/1144886396106301440 People can vote for their favorite drabbles by liking, commenting, or re-tweeting them.

It is also possible to vote on tumblr by reblogging and commenting with the numbers/prompts of your favorites drabbles, or on AO3 in the comments.

Votes should be open for the first week of july, I think. I'll edit here when they close.

---

1- Pride

What Shiro felt when Keith came back looking so grown up and strong and confident should have been pride, shouldn’t it? Pride that the young cadet he had taken under his wing earlier had grown to his full potential, not only an amazing pilot, but also a strong leader. You just needed to look at how the team was eagerly listening to his explanations and discussing his plans to see it. And Shiro was proud, of course he was.

What he hadn’t expected was to stumble on his words like an idiot because he found his best friend so hot.

2- Meet again

Keith would have hugged Shiro if the situation wasn’t so dire. But they have to stop Lotor first. No time to get emotional. Even if he has missed Shiro immensely.

It seems to be always like that with Shiro and him. They keep being torn apart, but they always find each other again. He remembers saving Shiro after his disappearance in the Kerberos mission; and their reunion when he had been missing after the fight against Zarkon. And now, after Keith was stuck in the Quantum Abyss.

He knows he will always find Shiro. As many times as it takes.

3- Long hair Shiro

When Keith helped him out of the galra ship, Shiro felt weirdly self-conscious. His hair was too long and greasy; he would have needed a shave; his skin was sticky and his own stench made him uncomfortable. That didn’t seem to bother Keith as much as it should have; he didn’t shy away from holding Shiro close.

“Don’t look at me...” he muttered, his parched tongue making the words indistinct. Keith said something, and the rest of the team cleared the room. Coran left last, after insisting that Shiro was too starved for the pods. Only Keith stayed with him.

4- Distance

3 billion miles. The current distance between the Earth and Kerberos. Keith thought about that number often, while watching the stars in the clear sky of the desert. He wished this was a distance he could cover with his hoverbike. He knew Shiro was out there, possibly in danger. He refused to believe he was dead.

After being kicked out of the Garrison, his last chance to go to space seemed to have vanished. Sometimes he thought of stealing a spacecraft from the Garrison; he knew that even if he managed to pull it off, he wouldn’t go far alone.

5- Sunset / sunrises

Shiro was clutching his side, which was both burning and feeling numb, a strange sensation. He felt his consciousness slip away, and he knew he wouldn’t survive for long on that desert planet; not hurt like he was. He could only hope Keith would outlive him long enough for the rest of the team to rescue him. The young paladin was resourceful and resilient, so Shiro trusted him to survive. He would be a great leader, and Shiro’s only regret was to not being able to witness it.

It seemed like a fitting end, watching the sunset alone with Keith.

6- Monsters & Mana

“Thanks for saving me again”, said Jiro.

“Always”, answered Thunderstorm Darkness. “You have done the same for me.”

“Of course I did.” answered Jiro, softly. They shared a long hug.

“Pleaaase stop flirting with your characters.” complained Pidge.

“Wha… what? They’re not flirting!” protested Keith.

“They’re just friends.” added Shiro nervously. “They help each other.”

“Sure, like you and Keith are just friends, I guess” replied Pidge, the sarcasm in her voice thick enough to cut with a knife.

“Well, yeah.” replied Keith, tone deaf as always for that kind of things.

Hunk grunted. Coran let out a long sigh.

7- Drunk dialing / wrong number

“I missed you, Shiro. I’m glad to be back.” admitted Keith.

“Keith, please don’t use the Atlas’ general hailing frequency for personal communication.”

It was Veronica, not Shiro, on the screen. Despite her formal tone, he could see her grin. Behind her, Acxa was rolling her eyes, Curtis was blushing, and Iverson was looking purposefully away.

“Good to have you back, Keith” answered Shiro warmly, undisturbed by his crew.

Keith didn’t get it either. What he had said wasn’t that bad, after all.

“It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it”, Hunk had once tried to explain.

8- Battle / fight

Seeing Keith getting beaten up during the first part of the trials had been hard enough. Shiro had ground his teeth and held back for Keith's sake. This was Keith's choice, and Shiro didn't want to stand in his way. It still felt like dying inside watching his friend get hurt.

Seeing Keith unconscious on the ground while Shiro's image was used against him had been too far. Now they were using Keith's trauma about his parents, and that was unacceptable. Even Red was furious. Shiro would fight the entire Blade of Marmora to get Keith out of their claws.

9-Pining / Mutual pining

“I think... I always loved him. From the beginning,“ admitted Keith, thoughtfully. “At the time, I didn't really understand it, but...” He trailed off.

“Maybe you should tell him?” suggested Romelle.

Keith let out a breathless laugh. “No. He doesn't see me like that.”

“Hu. Are you sure?” replied Romelle, dubiously.

---

“I know I shouldn't see him that way”, Shiro tried to explain to Matt. “To him, I'm some kind of big brother, he trusts me. If he knew what I feel for him, it would ruin our friendship.”

“Are you serious?!” growled Matt, slamming his beer on the bar.

10-Denial

“Sooo… how was your date?” Pidge's carefully casual tone was a trap.

Shiro realized he was still holding Keith's hand and swiftly let it go. “P...Pidge! It wasn't a date.”

“Yeeaaah, right. So what were you doing?” It was going to be difficult to get out of this discussion if Hunk paired up with Pidge. It didn't help that Keith was leaving all the defense to Shiro, arms crossed and expression sulky.

“We. Were looking for resources.”

“Did you find any?” Hunk retorted.

“Not really.”

“Maybe you'd find more in daylight.” insinuated Pidge. “But I'm sure the stars were pretty.”

11- Cooking

One night, at the Garrison, Keith noticed a burning smell in the air. He hurried down the corridor. Dark clouds of smoke were crowding under the ceiling, and Keith’s heart jumped in his throat.

He teared a fire extinguisher off the wall and sprinted in direction of the kitchen, where the smoke was coming from.

Inside, the smoke was so dense you could hardly see; his eyes were watering and he started to cough.

“I’m so sorry!” exclaimed Shiro as he opened a window. “I was trying to make mac-and-cheese”.  In the sink, a blackened plate was all that remained.

12- Confessions

Seeing Keith in his hospital bed was jarring. He was uncharacteristically quiet in his sleep. On his pale cheek, the scar stood out blatantly.

Keith suddenly became agitated. Shiro was starting to worry, but Keith opened his eyes, saw him, and calmed instantly.

“Shiro...”

“Keith… I’m sorry.”

Keith blinked, confused. “For what?”

Shiro hesitated. He brushed Keith’s scar. “For hurting you.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Keith frowned. “You remember what I told you?”

“That I was your brother.”

Keith scoffed. “That I love you. Not really...as a brother.”

“I love you too.” replied Shiro, before realizing what he was saying.

13- Astral Plane

Time didn’t really exist, on the astral plane. Shiro didn’t know how long he had been there. Both dead, and existing here, in this strange place. Sometimes, he felt himself dissolve in the lion’s consciousness, aside from when he was in contact with the team. When the team formed Voltron, or when they had called out to him, he felt more solid. He felt the most like he was existing when Keith was piloting Black, of course. He tried so many times to reach out to Keith.

When Keith finally joined him on the astral plane, Shiro felt alive again.

14- Soulmates

Black was the only one to know Shiro and Keith had held hands in the astral plane. The only one, because they had not realized it. And they had no idea of the implications, either. Of two souls touching, directly. Not in a fight, but out of love. The way Keith had so easily reached the astral plane through his connection with Shiro. The way Shiro had been able to materialize enough to put his hand on his shoulder. How they had held hands afterward. Black already knew they were soulmates. But how could they still be unaware of it?

15- Festivities

When the war ended, there were festivities for weeks all through the universe. Keith could understand this. But in big cities, it implied lots of excited people in the streets. Too bad that, for diplomatic reasons, they often ended up in big cities. And the team always wanted to enjoy the festivities once the formalities were over.

And now, he had lost Shiro. They were walking together, and suddenly, he wasn’t there anymore.

Shiro came back, holding two pastries. Keith let out a relieved sigh. “I hate crowds.” he grumbled.

“Should we go home?”

“No. It’s fine if you’re here.”

16- Overworked

“I thought that meeting would never end,” confessed Shiro.

Keith sighed. “Yeah. And I still have paperwork due tomorrow...”

“I know, me too...” Shiro checked Matt’s last message on his phone. “You know what? The team is chilling in the rec. room, we could join them and work there.”

“We won’t get any work done.”

“We could give it a try!”

“Fine”

–

“Told you we wouldn’t work!”

“Well, it’s late, but let’s try to get it done now!”

–

“Are… Are those the Captain of the Atlas and the Leader of Voltron cuddling on the couch?”

“Shhh. Don’t wake them up.”

17- Waking up together

When waking up, Shiro was startled to find arms around him; he was lost for a moment, before recognizing Keith. He remembered his nightmares, and how Keith had heard his panic from his  room -the Castle’s walls were not exactly soundproof. Keith had come and helped Shiro calm down. They must have fallen asleep together.

Keith was still sleeping, snoring softly. Shiro brushed his dark hair away from his forehead. Keith moved slightly, but didn’t wake up. Shiro smiled. He still marveled that, after all that happened, he had Keith at his side again, even so far away from home.

18- Folklore, myths & legends

Do you know the legend of Voltron?

Of course you do. The Robot that freed the Universe.

But, do you know about it’s pilots? No? Let me tell you of two of them, then. Let me tell the tale of the Black Paladins, who both piloted the Black Lion, head of Voltron. Let me tell you about their love, that was stronger than death itself. Let me tell you about how fate tried over and over to separate them, and how they always found each other again. Let me tell you how their love saved us. Gather around, and listen.

19- Fist dates / blind dates

It was the early hours of the morning, and most of the wedding guests had gone. Only their closest friends remained – the paladins, Matt, Romelle… They were watching the sunrise together, quietly sipping the fresh juices a waiter had brought them. Keith was a little hungover, but the headache didn’t matter: he was greeting the morning with his husband.

“What I always wondered was… when did you two start dating?” asked Lance.

“After the war” said Keith.

“No, we already dated on Clear Day, remember?” replied Shiro.

“That was a date?”

“I’m pretty sure you were dating before” stated Allura.

20- Shenanigans with Kosmo

Kosmo was was really good at guessing Keith’s moods. And he had his own ways of helping him out when his spirits were not so high. Frequently, it involved Shiro.

–

“Hi Keith!” said Shiro when a grumpy, half asleep Keith was teleported in the training room.

“Hi Keith!” said Shiro when an exhausted, sweaty Keith in training gear was teleported in the middle of a Garrison meeting.

“Hi Keith” said Shiro when a brooding Keith was teleported beside him on the couch.

“Goodnight, Keith”, whispered Shiro when a fast asleep Keith still in his uniform was teleported into their bed.

21- fix-it

“Be with the ones you love”, Shiro had advised. And Keith had panicked. He had hugged his mom, and had hidden in the desert. Well, if you can “hide” on top of a giant mechanical lion.

Shiro was busy with Garrison business, and Keith didn’t want to bother him. They still hadn’t  talked about what had happened at the clone facility, and he wasn’t sure if Shiro had understood what Keith really meant- or even if he remembered.

Keith’s heart jumped when he heard a hoverbike approaching.

“You’re here”, he whispered when Shiro joined him.

“Of course” answered Shiro softly.

22-seasonal

“What's that?”

“Takoyaki. Just try it.”

Shiro scoffed when Keith's eyes widened in surprise while tasting the food; he hastily went for more. It didn't help that he looked ridiculously cute in a yukata; Shiro was glad he had convinced him to wear one. “I knew you'd like this.”

They walked in silence for a moment.

“Did you… enjoy these summer festivals when you lived here?” wondered Keith.

“Yes, I loved them! My Granddad always took me. Good memories.” Keith nodded. Shiro continued. “Thank you for coming. It's good to make new memories with you.”

“Thank you for inviting me.”

23- canon alternate reality

When Sven opened his eyes, he recognized the space hospital. Slav was curled up, asleep on a nearby chair. In the other chair was…

“Sven!” exclaimed Akira. His desperate tone as well as the worried curve of his brow made guilt  tighten Sven’s throat. “I came as soon as I heard!”

“I’m sorry. I’m fine!” Sven exclaimed.

“No, you’re not! You’ve been shot!”

“I had to protect Lance!”

Akira blinked, and looked even more concerned. “Lance wasn’t with you.”

“Not this Lance.” He chuckled at Akira’s puzzled expression. “You wouldn’t believe what happened to us.”

“Well, you’d better tell me.”

24-Monsters

Waking up after a transformation was always painful and scary; even more so for Keith when he found himself lying on dry leaves in the forest rather than in the basement where he usually secured himself for the full moon. But Shiro being there too… that had to be the worst ever.

Despite the horror of Shiro knowing the truth about him, Keith’s first reflex was to hide as much as he could in the cover he was rolled in -before realizing that Shiro had to be the one who wrapped his naked body in it in the first place.

25-Rockband AU

The group had been less than enthusiastic about taking Keith in as a second guitarist, but Shiro was convinced of Keith’s talent, and he had been right. The young punk was a diamond in the raw, and since he joined the group, their popularity was off the charts.

He didn’t get along that well with the others, but they could work on that. Lance might complain about Keith being a show-off, but the public did love his solos. And Allura could keep accusing Shiro of being biased towards Keith… they still had found the new sound they were searching for.