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donghyuckcuyhgnod · 3 years

Note

Would u be willing to have a follow up or pt 2 to guilt flavored cupcakes? If not, could i request a jisung angst that ends with fluff? Hehe 💚💚💚

i tried to fit both of your requests into one :) the beginning is realllyyyy angsty, but i promise it gets better! it’s a bit long, i got a little carried away haha,, but i hope you enjoy <3

(part one is located here.)

“this is all your fault!” jisung yelled, slamming the door he had just walked through, his eyes shining with tears and his voice shaky. out of surprise and shock, all twenty-two of his fellow members had their eyes blown wide. “if you assholes just kept your mouths shut, this wouldn’t be happening right now!”

“jisung, what are you talking about?” taeyong gently asked. even the choreographer had stopped in his tracks upon the youngest’s unexpected entrance.

“them!” he pointed to the dreamies, sitting on the floor in front of the mirror. confused, all of the boys rose their eyebrows. “the one thing that makes me happy—the one person that truly makes me happy isn’t mine anymore because of you,” he spit out harshly, pointing to the five boys who he had initially put the blame on. his phone was clutched tightly in his hands, still lit up and on the page of his call log; your name being at the top of the list.

“jisung, what the hell are you talking about?” renjun asked, confusion laced in his voice. it wasn’t long before jisung’s bottom lip began quivering, tears streaming freely down his face as he let out an characteristically loud sob. “y/n broke up with me,” he choked out, shutting his eyes so tight as if he couldn’t bare to say those words. he dropped his phone on the ground, pulling at his hair in distress.

jaemin rolled his eyes, “of course she did. we already warned you, jisung. she was using you for your idol status. think of this as a good thing.” the dreamies shook their heads in agreement.

johnny spoke up, “guys, i don’t think now is a good time-”

“fuck you.”

silence. complete, utter, silence. jaemin—as well as the rest of nct—was speechless. never, in all their years of knowing jisung, had his members heard him cuss in such a bitter, hateful, and sincere way. shocked wasn’t even the word.

“what did you just say to me?” jaemin’s eyes were wide, his jaw open in surprise. did he just say what i think he said?

“you heard me loud and clear, jaemin. fuck you. fuck all five of you. you never gave her a fucking chance! all of you are always so mean to her, and for what? what did she ever do to you? you never even tried to like her. you would push her aside, say mean things straight to her face. you treated her like a goddamned criminal!” his tears were nonstop, cheeks a bright red and eyelids swollen from the constant tears. he sniffled, biting his lip in an attempt to control his sobs.

“what did she say during the call?” doyoung asked cautiously, laying a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. jisung sniffled again, gaining enough composure to speak.

“sh-she called because her dress was ruined. the dress for the awards, y’know. i paid for it to be altered to her size, and she came by the dorm yesterday when i wasn’t there to pick it up. and she went to take it out of the bag today, and there was paint all over it! and it was ripped in a bunch of places, and when i asked her how she ruined it, she told me that it wasn’t her. but i know exactly who it was,” jisung deadpanned, his eyes growing dark as he looked at the five guilty boys sitting on the floor. their lack of response made the answer very clear to everyone in the room.

kun sighed in disappointment, “what the hell is wrong with you guys?”

“it was her grandma’s dress.” jisung looked down at his feet, his eyes shining with tears again; and not because of the breakup. but rather, his mind went to the hurt in your voice when crying to him over the phone. “jisung, this dress is the only thing i had left of her. and now it’s completely ruined.”

“what?” chenle said.

“it was her grandma’s dress. the woman who raised her, who died last year. it was her dress and it was the only thing y/n had left of her. and you fucking ruined it, and tore it to shreds! how fucked up are you guys!? she broke up with me because she can’t do it anymore. she can’t handle the way you treat her. she dealt with it for two years now, and this was the final straw. are you fucking happy now?”

the immediate guilt suddenly had everyone’s heart skipping a beat—and not in a good way. a series of flashbacks had appeared in their minds; all of the times when you were at the dorm, making jisung laugh until he couldn’t breathe. the countless times you brought him soup and cuddles when he wasn’t feeling good, or the small pep-talks you would give him before a performance that always seemed to calm him. the way you always cooked and cleaned around the dorm because you knew how hard jisung and his members worked. all the times he had gushed—and gushed some more—about how amazing you were and how much he loved you with the most joyful smile he had ever shown.

“jisung, we-”

“save it.”

shit. we really fucked up.

—

a whole four-and-a-half weeks had passed when jeno called you. you weren’t expecting to see his name pop up on your phone, thus the reason you gasped out loud. you assumed he was calling to tell you how bad of a person you are for breaking up with jisung—so you didn’t answer. it’s not like you wanted to break up with him; the dreamies gave you no other choice. when haechan called not minutes later, however, you started to grow confused. surely they would give up, right? but then renjun called. and then, jaemin. and then, chenle. eventually, your curiosity got the best of you.

“hello?” you answered nervously, trying your absolute best to stabilize your voice. due to all the crying and frustration, however, your voice came out more hoarse and broken than intended. the other line was silent.

“. . . chenle?”

“meet me at the coffee shop next to the dorms in twenty minutes.”

“what? why?” you began, but the line had already gone dead. confused, you dragged yourself out of your bed and made yourself look presentable. well, as presentable as you could, considering the fact that you’d been hibernating in your room out of sadness for the past four weeks.

you arrived to the cafe with a heavy heart. you were sure your heart was going to burst out of your chest at the sight of the five boys who seemingly hated you, sitting around a table with one empty chair. you hesitantly walked in, the bell on the door gaining their attention. you smiled lightly at them out of habit. you sat down in silence, hugging your sweater a little tighter on instinct, feeling small under their gazes. they were surely going to scold you, right? i mean, you did just break their best friend’s heart. but yours was broken, too.

the boys took in your appearance, and with one glance, they knew you were just as heartbroken as jisung. their younger friend had barely spoken since that day; he would perform and practice like always, but the minute the cameras were off, he was cold and distant. he locked himself in his room every night, forcing jaemin to sleep on the couch. he had barely eaten, his energy and passion dropping drastically due to a lack of motivation. even the fans had started suspecting the changes. he wasn’t acting himself.

haechan was the first to break the silence. “we’re sorry, y/n. . .” he spoke quietly, avoiding your eyes in shame and guilt. your eyes widened in surprise, a shocked huh? coming from your mouth. is this a joke? as if renjun read your mind, he answered your question.

“we’re serious. we never gave you a chance. we were so mean to you and we’re sorry for everything. truly sorry,” renjun said, a glint of sincerity in his eyes. the apology, in all honesty, pricked at a certain part of your heart. like a bandaid being ripped from a wound, and all it took was a gentle smile from jaemin before your eyes were watering. “especially about your grandma’s dress,” renjun added on in a guilty mutter, training his eyes downward. you flinched at his words, remembering the mess they made of your precious grandmother’s dress.

you sniffled, your tears flowing freely now as you cleared your throat. “you guys were just worried about jisung, it’s understandable-“ you began, before chenle cut you off.

“why are you so nice to us, y/n? we treated you like shit from day one for absolutely no reason, and you’re still being nice to us and making excuses for our behavior. we know we’re in the wrong, y/n. you don’t need to say anything.”

you gaped at him, before slowly nodding your head as you cried. you were surprised to feel a comforting hand on your shoulder, looking up and seeing a kind-smiled haechan through your tears. “seriously, why? you’re too kind, y/n.” you could only look at him, muttering a small, “because jisung loves you guys so much.”

your own words made you cry harder, lightly laughing at yourself out of nerves. “i’m sorry for crying like this,” you said, swiping at your red and puffy cheeks, trying to keep up with the vigorous tears.

jaemin lightly chuckled, “it’s no big deal. it’s no different than jisung, nowadays.” at this, your heart nearly ripped in half, and you felt a pain in your chest that you could only describe as excruciating. you looked up at him wide-eyed, stuttering over yourself, struggling to find the words.

“he’s a mess, y/n,” jeno spoke truthfully, his own eyes watering a bit at the thought of jisung cooped up in his room, crying himself to sleep every night. “don’t blame it on yourself. it’s not your fault. it’s ours,” he said.

your cries hadn’t stopped, the people around giving you weird looks and questioning eyes. “please talk to him, y/n,” chenle pleaded, eyeing you carefully. you quickly regained your composure, hiccups now replacing your cries. you thought for a moment, “what if he’s too upset with me? what if he wants nothing to do with me anymore?”

“trust us, y/n. he wants everything to do with you. he needs you.”

—

your hand shook as you lifted it up to the doorknob of the familiar practice room. you let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes in an attempt to gain back your composure. jisung and his members were leaving for tour in a few days, and you refused to let him leave without talking to him. you were planning to wait until nighttime, but as you sat in your room with your mind swirling, you couldn’t wait any longer.

you had finally gained the courage to open the door, but before you could, someone else beat you to it. mark looked at you with surprise, an unreadable expression on his face. you quietly greeted him, nervously picking at your nails as you shuffled on your feet.

“y/n? what are you doing here?” he spoke, his eyes softening at the clear distress on your face. you lightly peaked inside the practice room, and mark instantly got the hint. he quickly moved aside to make room for you, an encouraging smile on his face.

the world seemed to stop, then. the moment you walked into the room, jisung had caught your eyes in the mirror. his hair was disheveled, his eyes puffy, red, and tired. the bags under his eyes sadly matched yours, his face looking slimmer than normal and his figure hunched over in a sulk. his skin was red and uneven, a few stress pimples coating his forehead and his chin.

“y/n?” he spoke suddenly, his voice broken, and your eyes instantly teared up at the sound of his voice cracking. nearly everyone was staring at you wide-eyed, and you gulped nervously.

“i know this probably isn’t the best time, but i-i just. . . “ you trailed, losing your voice as you looked at the ground. you looked up again, jisung now facing you with a sad look in his eyes. you sighed, “can we talk?”

—

the door was closed and the boys couldn’t hear anything, but that didn’t stop them from looking through the small glass window. even their choreographer was trying to get a better view, all of them hoping and praying that you were here to get their maknae back. they could only see your face, jisung’s back to the door. you held his hands tightly in yours, your lips moving and tears flying freely down your face.

they couldn’t see jisung, but the way his shoulders shook vigorously was a clear indication that he, too, was sobbing. your regretful words and pleas of i love you more than anything, i’m such an idiot for breaking up with you sent daggers through jisung’s heart. your eyes screamed the words forgive me, please. and how was he to say no to you?

he nodded his head with intent, “i could never be mad at you for this, y/n. i’m such a coward for not sticking up for you-“

“don’t say that, park jisung. you did stick up for me. it’s all in the past now, okay? they. . . they apologized to me. they’re the reason i’m here right now,” you confessed, jisung’s eyes widening at your words.

“none of it matters now, i promise. please, can we forget this ever happened? i can’t be without you, baby,” you cried, the affectionate name sounding so familiar yet so foreign to jisung. it tugged at his heart strings, all strumming for you in every way possible. without hesitation, he nodded his head, a relieved smile taking over his features.

you practically wailed in relief, taking his face in your hands and planting your lips on his in a passionate kiss; all of the emotions that the two of you had felt over the past weeks were being poured out, your pain matching each other’s in the most intimate and vulnerable way possible. the taste of your simultaneous tears didn’t matter in that moment; all that mattered was that you were his again, and he was yours.

“they’re kissing! i repeat, they’re kissing!” taeyong exclaimed, a series of happy and excited shouts filling the room as the members cheered for the both of you. jisung pulled away, only to look back and see a bunch of prying eyes through the window, all smiling and high-fiving each other at the scene before them. and the best part? the dreamies were the happiest of them all. you chuckled at them, causing jisung to look back at you in amazement.

“i love you so much, y/n. please never leave me again,” he whispered, burying his face in your neck and pulling you as close as he possibly could. your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, closing your eyes in bliss and letting out a sigh of relief. “never again,” you assured both him, and yourself. you basked in his embrace. finally. you were home. he held you as if you were to disappear the second he let go, and in that moment, jisung concluded that losing you was his biggest fear.

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rainbowvamp · 3 years

Text

Enchanted

Happy Mercelot week my loves! Enjoy a Cinderella love at first sight au. Featuring Merlin in a pretty outfit and infatuated Lancelot!

@mercelotweek fill for "beauty"

——

Merlin looks down at the bit of fabric in his hands. He’s never tried to alter an object this way. He’d cut a bit of Camelot red from one of the cloaks Arthur had sent to be re-hemmed and was just… looking at it. It was washed, but still obviously worn, fraying in places, no matter how he’d tried to mend it. He hadn’t been particularly keen on the red, but it was the only thing he’d had on hand. He certainly wasn’t going to risk any of his own clothes for something that might not work.

Merlin had altered himself before, sure, but he’d gotten stuck that way as often as he’d done it. A mask couldn’t exactly drink a potion and return to it’s original form. So, he had to be very careful and meticulous when he crafted this spell.

The white of his party clothes was incredible, striking, really, compared to all the other clothes he’d ever worn. Cast offs, surely, but they were beautiful. Morgana or even Gwen might know if they were even still in style, but it was meant to be a bit of a lark, this party. Both for him and the other guests in attendance. The others would be in costumes fashioned from older clothing, or clothing made costume by masks. It was supposed to be fun, light hearted, this party, but here Merlin is, overthinking something as simple as a mask.

He murmurs a spell of his own creation and the scrap of fabric, crumpled and pinned to generally resemble a mask, became something gorgeous before his eyes. The fabric was thinner, almost like lace in weight, but stayed stiff in his hand like it had been over starched. The pins had become fine, metallic dots over the eye holes, and the ribbon he’d use to secure it was almost silk like.

It was beautiful, but Merlin could feel the tenuous nature of the spell. It wouldn’t last forever. It might not even last the night. He could feel the threads of magic holding it delicately in this shape, but ready to break apart at any moment.

Well, he’d just have to make his trip to the party short so he wouldn’t risk being found out. These things usually went so far into the night it became morning, but he’d probably have until midnight before the spell wore off and risked exposing him.

If anyone found out a Servant was mingling with these Nobles, he’d be in the stocks for a week. Maybe worse.

Guinevere, who is his dearest friend and closest confidant, has agreed to help him with his hair for tonight, so he sneaks off to Morgana’s rooms, the lady already down at the party, to get her help, mask already in place, just in case anyone should see him.

The palace feels different when he walks around in clothes that belong to a nobleman. The servants he passes bow respectfully, and it makes him uneasy. How can people stand this? He felt so terrible, watching people avert their eyes and how their heads like he or anyone else had any right to their humility.

In Morgana’s rooms, Gwen adjusts his coat and combs his hair back in a way he didn’t think would suit him, but he ends up liking. He tries once more to convince her to come with him, to just steal one of Morgana’s old dresses and wear a veil, but she’s convinced she’ll be found out, and isn’t willing to risk it.

Merlin has no such qualms, and has vowed to take her involvement with this little scheme to the grave. Or the stocks.

“You look wonderful,” She says when she finally lays her brush down. “You’ll be the belle of the ball.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, “Haha, Guinevere. I just want to see how the other half lives for a night. You’re sure you won’t come?”

And now she rolls her eyes. “The lady Morgan and I are much closer than you and Arthur. She’d notice me, even with a mask. Maybe the next one.”

He smiles softly at her. “Definitely the next one. Besides, you’ll still be there. You’ll just have to endure less of the idle dithering of nobles.”

She giggles, “Merlin, you can’t talk about them like that.”

“I can talk about them however I like dressed like this,” He tugged his collar a bit to show off and that set her off again. She covered her mouth to keep their presence hidden and swatted at him.

“Okay, you’ve made your point. Now go, before it’s over.”

“Love you,” he kissed her cheek and she returned the gesture.

“Please don’t get yourself killed.” Which was as good as an I love you too from Gwen.

“No promises. I did try to fight the prince my first day here.”

—-

Merlin takes a second glass of mead in less than half an hour from a passing try. He knows this will be a terrible idea, but he cannot, to save his own life, stand this lot while sober any longer.

Occasionally one of the nobles will smile and greet him, ask him who he is, but for the most part, people are interested in socializing with those they already know, and the few who approach him are obviously uninterested in him as much as they are interested in the connections he might be able to make them.

“I’m dying out here,” he murmurs to Gwen when she’s pauses briefly to grab another tray to pass around lady Morgana’s table.

“I’m so sorry. You poor dear.” She smirks and he smiles back at her.

“Your turn next.”

“Mhmm, after all the fun you’re having, I can’t wait.”

He laughed as she left and his spirits were lifted for the first time all night. He took a final sip of his mead and left it on a table, deciding to try his luck on the dance floor at the same moment that a set of deep brown eyes caught him from across the room.

“Caught” was not an exaggeration. The smoldering, desirous look in the eyes that looked like they might have been looking at him for a while held him like a man entranced. His breath caught in his throat as the man started to make his way toward him.

He was in chain mail, a knight in a cloak that was unmistakably Camelot red. It wasn’t unlike the cloak he’d cut his mask from.

At the reminder, Merlin focused briefly on his mask, whose transformed state was tenuous. It would last a while longer, maybe an hour, maybe longer.

The determined way the knight walked toward him, through the onlookers, partygoers and celebrators was almost overwhelming. No one tonight had looked so intently upon him. He wasn’t sure how to handle it.

His feet seemed to decide how to handle it for him. Thick dark hair that begged to be tugged at and a mouth made for kissing, it drew him in like so few things ever had. Even with the black mask obscuring his face, Merlin can tell he must be beautiful. The cut of his jaw is too perfect for him not to be.

Merlin is stunned by the time they meet, standing obnoxiously still in the middle of the dance floor. The knight bows to him, and while servants bowing to him had made him uncomfortable, this feels formal, and somehow honorable. He holds out his hand when the knight starts to stand, thinking they might shake, but instead Lancelot takes the offered hand and kisses the back of it, eyes trained on Merlin the entire time.

He is grateful for the cover of the mask, with the way that he can feel the blush forming high on his cheek. He wouldn’t want to embarrass himself in front of a knight.

“Hello, My Lord. I am Sir Lancelot.”

Lancelot. He’s heard Arthur speak of him, in passing. An excellent fighter, perhaps as good as the Prince himself. As he stands, Sir Lancelot smiles at him, and Merlin about melts as his stomach flutters and he stands tall, just about eye level with him.

“Hello, Sir Lancelot.” The words are breathier than he means to be, and if Lancelot notices, he gives no indication.

With the slightest bow he asks, “May I have this dance?”

Merlin had been about to dance on his own anyway. Only, Merlin’s never danced any of these formal noble dances, only remembers celebrations in Ealdor, and in the lower town. He isn’t sure of the steps, but Lancelot still hasn’t dropped his hand, and his mouth seems to speak with the same ungiven authority his feet had moved him with.

“Certainly.”

Lancelot takes Merlin’s other hand to place it on his shoulder, and takes Merlin at the waist. It’s what everyone else seems to be doing, and he’s grateful that Lancelot says nothing when they’re pulled so close their chests are nearly flush.

Lancelot starts to move, but Merlin can’t keep time, keeps stumbling over his feet, and Lancelot’s. “I’m afraid I’m not much of a dancer.” Merlin laughs, afraid Lancelot will simply leave, but the man’s returning smile tells another story.

“That’s alright. Just stop thinking so hard about it. I’ll lead.” He pauses briefly to adjust his grip on Merlin’s waist and then Merlin feels the gentle push of the hand there, urging him to move back, forth, left, right, turn, in time with the music. Between Lancelot’s easy leading, and the way his eyes seem to never leave Merlin’s, it’s easy to feel like they are the only two people here, the only ones that matter.

Merlin finds the rhythm eventually, and the gentle coaxing on his hip becomes obsolete. He still misses the feel of Lancelot’s hand in his when they’re suddenly unclasped and grabbing Merlin by the waist, to spin him around with the flourish as the dance came to an end. He laughs, and the answering twinkle in Lancelot’s eyes speaks volumes for how he’s enjoyed himself.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Lancelot asked, and Merlin smiles, letting the knight take his hand and kiss it again.

“I’d say it was the best dance I’ve ever had. Thank you, Sir Lancelot.”

“I aim to please.” Another song started up, and Lancelot raised an eyebrow. “I’m afraid this one is a group dance. Unless you fancy a half dozen partners and more steps than you can count, we might sit this one out.”

Merlin laughed, “I certainly don’t want that. Get a drink with me?” Merlin doesn’t need another drink, but he is parched.

When Lancelot offers his elbow to Merlin, he almost rolls his eyes, but can’t help the grin it illicits. “Such a gentleman.” He smiles, and Lancelot returns it. They take a seat at a nearby table, long since unoccupied in favor of the dancing.

Lancelot serves him mead before a servant can, highly unusual for a knight, as Merlin is well aware. “Thank you,” he waits for Lancelot to serve his own glass and clinks them together before taking a healthy sip from his. The warmth of the joy of Lancelot and the mead mix together, leaving him feeling heady and relaxed.

“I’m afraid I don’t know your name. Is that terrible?” Lancelot asked, and Merlin laughed in response.

“Few would. I’m hardly a common attendee of these sorts of things. I’m Emerys of Ealdor.”

“Such a beautiful name, for a beautiful man,” Lancelot gestured for a servant to bring the tray they were holding, and thanked him graciously as he served both Merlin and himself honey cakes. “I’m afraid I’ve never heard of Ealdor. Is it far from here?”

“Yes. I don’t see it much, anymore. It’s in Essetir, and it is not exactly safe to pass between the two lands. I haven’t been home in many years.”

Lancelot frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that. I too can not return home. I know how lonely that can be.”

Merlin smiled sadly. “Yes. But I do make friends wherever I go, and that helps.”

“I hope perhaps I may one day be counted among them?” Lancelot raies and eyebrow and Merlin’s besotted.

“Easily. So you do not come from Camelot?”

“No. I was a wonderer for a long time, learning sword craft to become a knight of Camelot, one of the noblest lands I know of.”

“One of?” Merlin asked, and he’s honestly curious. He’s used to the way the knights talk about Camelot, like it is perfect, the most wonderful place to live with the most impressive king.

“The King is very noble. He has a heart for the people not all Kings can boast.”

“But?” Merlin pushes, and Lancelot smiles uneasily.

“But not all of the people of Camelot belong in the King’s heart. It is not always my desire to carry out the laws against magic users, if they’ve done no wrong. But I am always loyal to my king.” He took a sip of his mead, pulling gently on the collar of his shirt.

Merlin didn’t know what it felt like to fall in love, but he thought perhaps this might be it. Like falling and being overwhelmed, and wanting nothing more to steal away with someone who appeared perfect in every way.

“I must say I agree.” He said, and Lancelot visibly relaxed. “But like you, I have no ill will toward the King. He does what he believes to be right, and that is all any man can be asked to do.” And perhaps one day he would see that he was not right. Merlin could only hope.

“Yes. Will you be in Camelot long, after the festival?” The question is so obviously probing that Merlin feels a bit of glee at it, even as his heart sinks, because he can’t have this man. Lancelot is a knight of Camelot, and Merlin is a servant.

“I’m afraid not. I leave tonight,” Merlin smiled wanly, and Lancelot’s face mirrors him.

“There’s no possibility of your plans being changed?”

“No. I’m expected somewhere tomorrow. We’ll have to ride through the night to get there.” This is the first true lie Merlin has told all night, and it aches to say. Lancelot cares for magic users, and he’s kind, and he didn’t ask Merlin what connections he had or how he might be helpful to him. He just wanted to have a dance and talk.

He looks away and meets Gwen’s eyes, somewhere over Lancelot’s shoulders. She looks so sad, and he knows he must look the same.

“When might you be back? In Camelot, I mean?”

“I can’t say. It’s only coincidence that brought me here tonight.” This at least, is true. Merlin never could’ve come to this party if not for Gwen coincidentally finding the discarded clothing in the closer of a long disgraced nobleman. The fact that they happened to fit Merlin was also happenstance, and if not for that, he’d never be here. With an hour of Gwen’s help, she’d been able to tailor them nearly to perfect, and he was loathe to admit he looked quite good.

“That is a shame. We must enjoy tonight then.”

“Yes, we must.”

The song changed and Merlin took as delicate a bite as he could manage of his honey cake before taking Lancelot’s hand. “Teach me to dance some more, you’re fantastic at it.”

This brought a smile to Lancelot’s face. “It would be an honor, my lord.”

They take to the dance floor. This dance, whatever it is, is far more complicated than the last one, and Lancelot also stumbles through it occasionally, which makes Merlin feel just a bit better.

“We’ve nearly got it!” Merlin laughed when the music ended, and Lancelot bowed to him again. Merlin is about to ask him for another one when a tall figure suddenly approaches them.

“Mind if I cut in?” Says another knight of Camelot, this one completely disregarding the dresscode and lacking a mask. His long hair came to his shoulder and Merlin would’ve found him incredibly attractive if it weren’t for the fact Lancelot was already the center of his night.

Merlin bows goodbye to Lancelot, thinking this knight has come for his equal, he certainly wouldn’t be the only knight to do so, but then he sees the hard edge of Lancelot’s eyes and is a bit confused.

“My Lord.” The new knight says, and takes Merlin’s hand, sweeping him away from Lancelot without waiting for so much as a “by your leave.”

“I’m Sir Gwaine. You’re a pretty thing,” the knight says, and Merlin doesn’t find this compliment as positive as Lancelot’s.

“I’m sorry if I have no desire to be called an object.” He said stiffly, and Gwaine laughed.

“You’ve got nerve. Lancelot must like that.” Merlin was swept up and turned, his hands barley having time to grip Gwaine’s shoulders and stabilize himself as he was lifted into the air. “I’m sorry to intrude. Sir Lancelot is one of my dearest friends, and a bit of teasing always does him good. Can you see him?” He leaned in to whisper these last words in his ear and Merlin’s eyes start searching the floor for Lancelot.

He’s not on the dance floor, but is watching them with a deep intensity from the spot where they’d sat and ate the song before. “You’ve upset him.”

“Well, you didn’t have to accept.” The man smiled, and Merlin scowled.

“I thought you were asking for Lancelot, not me. Besides, you didn’t give me time to either accept or deny. Just carried me off like some sort of brute.”

“My apologies.” But nothing about his tone seemed apologetic. “However, when Lancelot gets his hands back on you, I think you might just thank me for my little intervention.”

Merlin’s barely following along with whatever steps, but he’s starting to fume. “What is this? Some sort of joke? Do you find that appropriate?”

“I meant no harm,” He smiled, “I swear.” They turned and for a second his eyes focused over Merlin’s shoulder and he grimaced. “But I’m afraid I may have gone too far. I’m going to get it in training tomorrow.” He focused on Merlin again to grin. “But I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it.” The song ended and Merlin just barely put up with a peck on his hand. Before he can pull away, Gwaine holds his hand tight, and Merlin freezes. “Lancelot hasn’t looked this happy for a very long time. I hope you don’t mean to dash his heart.”

Merlin is shocked at the insinuation. “I’ve only just met him. There are no hearts involved.”

“Mmm, you haven’t known Lancelot as long as I have. I assure you, there are.” He made Merlin take his arm and lead him back to the table where Lancelot was sitting. There was a blond knight standing beside him now, leaning in and murmuring something in his ear. “He falls so quick it’s a marvel he’s ever on his feet. But he’s loyal. I wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea if you mean to disappear.”

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked, stiffening, and Gwaine shrugged.

“I’ve never seen you before. Neither has anyone else I’ve asked. You’re passing through. Who’s to say how you got an invitation, but you’re not likely to return if you’re making no move to introduce yourself to everyone here. I’ve been a wanderer, I know the signs of someone who only intends to stay one night. If you’ve no intention to stay, I wish you’d leave him be.”

“It’s complicated,” Merlin said voice still tense.

“Everything is. My word stands.” They arrive at the table and Lancelot stands, pulling out Merlin’s chair for him, glaring at Gwaine.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I couldn’t get enough of our new friend. But he’s all yours now, Lancelot.”

Merlin takes a seat and is relieved for Gwaine to go. Lancelot looks him over like he’s afraid he might’ve been mauled. “Are you alright? I know Gwaine tends to be a bit… forward.”

Merlin laughed, a bit uncomfortable now after what Gwaine’d said. “I’m alright. He wasn’t too forward. Just a bit blunt.”

“Yes, he’s like that.” Merlin followed Lancelot’s gaze to Gwaine, and hoped that Lancelot did beat Gwaine on the training field tomorrow.

The honey cake he’d left is still there, and so he takes another bite. Things like this were so rarely afforded to him he had to force himself not to scarf it down. The cake was soft and crumbled easily in his mouth, giving way to a sweet, delicate flavor. The soft sigh of pleasure from the taste of it all drew Lancelot’s gaze briefly to his lips, and Merlin felt his face heat. “I don’t usually indulge.” He said, as way of explanation, and Lancelot smiled.

“I’m glad you’ve given yourself the pleasure tonight. Camelot’s kitchens are famous.”

“I can see why.” He says, taking another bite of the delicious cake.

“Perhaps they might entice you back.” Lancelot says with a hopeful look, and Merlin swallows.

“Perhaps.” He’s starting to think that maybe this is no good anymore. He’s playing with this man’s heart, pretending to be someone he is not. As much fun as this is, and much as he’s possibly developing a crushing love for Lancelot, this is wrong. They could never be, simply by the virtue of Merlin’s station.

A clock, somewhere far off, strikes and he jumpsin his seat. He checks the magic holding his mask and finds it worryingly close to breaking. He can’t let his face be seen here.

Luckily, he has a readymade excuse.

“Hell.” He murmurs, putting down the cake and being careful to use the napkin to clean his fingers. Had to keep up this act of nobility, no matter how much he’d rather lick the crumbs from his fingers. “I have to go.” He drops the napkin down and pushes his chair back, throwing Lancelot an apologetic look that is more genuine that Merlin meant it to be.

“What? It’s only midnight. Please.” He takes Merlin’s hand as he stands, stopping him from going any further.

“I have to go. My carriage will be waiting. I was suppose to be there ten minutes ago.” Merlin tugs on his hand, but Lancelot holds it, doesn’t let it go.

“Please, I can’t- It’s too soon.” His pleading hurts Merlin, but now that his anxiety has taken over, he knows it’s just a matter of time before the mask becomes a scrap of cloth and falls from his face.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” He pulls his hand out of Lancelot’s and rushes as much as he dares to the door.

Sir Gwaine blocks his path just as he gets to the door. “Leaving so soon? Can’t I tempt you for another dance?” Merlin can’t read his face, is too worried to even think about trying.

When he looks behind him and sees Lancelot coming for them, he starts to truly panic. He can’t afford a delay.

He turns his face away from Gwaine and mutters a spell to drop a nearby server’s tray. This distracts Gwaine just long enough for Merlin to slip past him and out of the great hall.

He can hear Lancelot coming, calling after him, but he dare not look back. He mutters a second spell to slam the ballroom doors. This will serve both to slow Lancelot’s progress and hide which way Merlin goes goes.

And considering he’s going deeper into, rather than out of, the castle, it’s very important no one sees his retreat.

He slips through the halls, hearing Lancelot’s cries echo and then disappear as he goes toward the castle door, looking for him.

He’ll never find him.

Merlin swipes uselessly at his prickling eyes. He hadn’t wanted to leave Lancelot, but after what Gwaine had said, he couldn’t stay in good conscience. He swallowed hard to try and keep himself collected, and finally ducked into Gaius’ rooms, gracefully empty.

As soon as the door was closed he felt his magic break and the mask become a scrap of fabric. Camelot-red fell into his lap, and he stared at it, thinking of what might have been, and let himself cry.

#minimercelotweek2021 #bbc merlin #merlance #mercelot #lancelin #lancelot/merlin #merlin/lancelot #merlin x lancelot #lancelot x merlin #day 1: beauty

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finnythepooh · 2 years

Note

Taking this here so we don't argue pointlessly in OP's notes. We can argue pointlessly here instead! :) Don't tell us how to react to things. You don't know us. Don't act like things are universally experienced the same way for everyone. I didn't attack OP. I didn't tell them they couldn't have their opinion. Hell, I wasn't even the alter that sent the initial message but I still apologized for his outburst! So don't act all high and mighty like you're bestowing some mystical knowledge "It's just a roleplay" because how their take affects us is different from how it affects you. /mad You walk up to the person asking for their trigger to be tagged and go "It's not that big of a deal 😊💙", man how's it feel to be the best person around? /s

Tagging critical posts is a common courtesy in this fandom to protect people who just genuinely cannot mentally handle someone expressing a negative take on their comfort character. Maybe you interact differently, that's perfectly fucking fine, but you do not get to tell us how we prefer to interact. And as for your "Just don't read it" comment, we do not have the self control not to eat the poisoned apple if it is sitting amongst the oranges at this moment. We're working on it, but we will consume that which harms us if it is right out in the open, unless it's filtered through our blacklist. The temptation to look is decreased greatly and if we click it then there's nobody to blame but us.

And in the end, if OP didn't want to tag their post as critical, that's fine and dandy. It's their blog. I'd just block and move on. But don't tell us not to ask someone to tag something that triggers us just because "it's a roleplay." God, fuck off with that. /disgusted

howdy! i thought we were over with the convo, didnt even know you considered it an argument so i apologize if i sounded aggressive because that was not at all my intention D: ! i never said u couldnt ask for them to tag it, i said i didnt read that part of the reply and thought u were just mindlessly getting upset with op for having an opinion. i apologized for that already, and ill apologize again! im very sorry for misreading ur reply, didnt mean to sound rude when i was replying to you and i apologize for that as well! i am someone who definitely has more filtered tags from the normal, and understand how u feel. i only said "it's just a roleplay in the end" because u were unnecessarily being aggressive towards op, and me. only asked for u to try and be a little less rude when asking for someone to tag posts. because people forget. as someone with the worst memory in the world and can barely even remember my own age half the time, its hard trying to remember to tag posts. so a simple "hey could u please remember to tag critical posts :)!" would be alright instead of cussing them out, eatting their dog, and offending their mother haha

moral of the story, dont be unnecessarily aggressive on the internet, life's too short to get upset at every little thing. and try rereading someone's reply to fully understand it in case u misread it, i think both of us need to remember to do that :]

have a lovely day, stay safe! <3 /gen

#i didnt think this was still going to go on i thought everything was resolved i didnt want unneeded anxiety this morning from arguing qwq #ive already had a crappy week so pls can we just end this?#arguments give me extreme anxiety #and long text #im quite literally trying to get ready for school rn #long post #tw long post

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frecklef0x · 3 years

Text

Mass Effect 1: Playthrough Masterpost

At last, I have finished Mass Effect 1!

I have heard some mutuals say they wish they could play it again for the first time, and you kind of can--through me! I’ve been posting little “episodes” of live-tweet-stream-of-consciousness as I play, and now I’ve compiled them into one post to make my life easier.

Anyway, here’s the first one, the rest are under the cut. :)

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode one

My ass looks great in this uniform, first of all

Impaled robo zombies, yikes

Cheap shot, Saren, smh. How will I pass my spectre test now?!

Why does he have robot eyes? Is he like, Geth-Turian? Why? Is he a robo zombie also? Was it the beacon???

Cool beacon nightmares, I'm sure this is fine

This Kaiden guy has implants? ORTEGA?!??!?

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor" lol obliterated

The citadel elevators are very realistic, five minutes of tense silence huh

Ya girl got a PROMOTION and a DOPE SQUAD time to catch a TRAITOR

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode two

First things first, gotta go find the blue scientist to join the gang

This galaxy is HUGE! How many of these places will I actually be able to go?!

Only two friends at a time????? D:

Ah, a distress signal, let's see wha--A DESERT CENTIPEDE NOPE ABORT ABORT

Robo aliens? In MY Theronian mining facility? Its more likely than you think

Running over dudes in my Mako is extremely satisfying tbh

*runs over geth troopers* *runs over geth armature* *runs over geth colossus* ... *backs over geth colossus*

Working elevators in the ancient ruins ✔

Oooooooh man hope this nerd is gay

Wrex, a friend of yours? Nope, not a friend, too murdery

"ShAaaAame about the ruins Shep, sOooOo much collatoral damage, SHEP" stfu Council, "ruthless" was in the resume when you promoted us, 10/10 would shoot lasers through archeological digs again

When Kaiden calls us "ma'am" I am, uh, into it

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode three

Time to talk to the gang! Gotta meet the fam proper

Oh dear seems we got a shmee of racism on board, compatriots

Wow Raina, good foot-in-mouth moment with Wrex there huh...sorry about the eventual extinction of your race, lost this round of Pain Olympics

OH SHIT OH SHIT BLUE HOTTIE BIGENDER? THIS IS NOT A DRILL???

“hi I’m Kaiden wanna hear about my last crush ;)” “hi I’m Liara wanna hear about Asari mating rituals? ;)))” damn we really slidin right into the DMs no chill

Garrus: fuck rules and red tape amiright Raina: oh u right ;)

Guess I’ll actually do a mission now LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

Honestly rolling out with Tali and Liara is a mood, squad goals

Raina @ every corporation on Noveria: I would sell you to satan for one(1) corn chip

This reactivation puzzle is some shit

I see some Mistakes were made

We already killing moms at this stage damn BioWare

FUCK FUCK BENEZIA KILLED ME AND I LOST A FUCKTON OF PLAYTIME

THERES LIKE NO AUTOSAVE IN THIS BITCH FUUUUUUUUU

fuck fuck fuck god damn it gotta shoot a bunch of deranged baby bug people again god DAMN IT

Okay we killed Liara’s mom in front of her hope that’s fine

And we let mama bug go free because after talking to Wrex, Raina’s like “this galaxy is a little trigger happy with the genocide, good luck out there bug mama ❤️ be cool please”

I have literally watched the scientist in the hot labs get killed three times now

So far the debreifs with the council have not gone very well

“You let bug mama go?! How many generations until they take over everything???” “My money’s on two :D Place your bets now assholes or stfu :DDD”

Asked Liara if she was okay and she seems pretty Cool With It

I hope to one day return to Noveria and Death Star it into oblivion

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode four

Talked with Tali and this situation with the Geth and the Quarians is giving me an existential crisis

You “inspect” my beautiful ship? You got somethin’ to say about my crew??? Talk shit get hit, bitch I will kill you

Yoooo my old earth gang, yeah what the hell, I’ll help ou—oh nope nvm he’s a xenophobe, you hang him and I’ll shoot his friend in the face, thx for your time

Went to the citadel to finish some assignments, left tasked with twice as many

“dOn’T cUt CoRneRs” fear not dear Kaiden, I have a permit: this piece of paper that says I do what I want

Still with the elevators, I really cannot with this

“You make it all sound so...dangerous...” ;) ;))))))

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode five

Headin’ to Virmire to rendezvous with the Salarian team

A cure for the genophase?!?!?! :D

Oh wait oh no are we for real gonna talk about destroying the cure like Wrex isn’t standing right here omg

SHIT GUYS NO NOT LIKE THIS WREX PLEASE

Phew for a conversation that basically started with guns drawn, it went pretty well... “What Saren has isn’t even a proper cure, he’s just fucking with the Krogans at this point. Are we gonna stand for that? Or are we gonna murder?” “Damn Shep, you right, we gon’ murder”

Okay Ashley, go join the aliens, try not to die

Shadow Team!🎵 tearing through the base 🎶 disabling all the defenses 🎵 (you gotta sing it to the tune of the Trogdor song)

We free the prisoners!!! :)

We shoot the prisoners??? :(

“Raina? How can you shoot them where they stand?” So it’s more merciful to let them explode? NAH FAM

This scientist is responsible for the mind control stuff? For Benezia? Fine I’ll let her go but I hope she explodes

We did not learn our lesson concerning beacons I see

Wait if even Saren is worried about his mind control ship does that mean there are larger forces involved here?

Oh. Oh fuck

Ugh Ashley I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DIE

(so we really never found any info about that genophase cure huh? disappointing)

Oh Seren, you dumb dumb. You absolute fool. Clown man.

When Raina slings Kaiden over her shoulder to carry him to the ship—mmmmmmmmwoooow I am very bisexual

Bruh Raina takes every council call and she disconnects pissed off every time

WAIT I literally just hung up with the council, ASHLEY is DEAD, and Kaiden needs a DTR RIGHT NOW?!?!? Boy, NO, READ THE ROOM

This has been a stressful day

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode six

Shepard will avoid her feelings and go to Faros instead

Seeing Ashley’s figure greyed out and her locker inaccessible makes me sad

Wrex and Garrus, let’s go shoot some geth 💪

A mind controlling planet—of course!

Shep gets all her renegade points shooting capitalists

Saved, uh, about half the colonists

If I have one more bad acid trip I stg

Oh nope here’s another one

Shep needs a nap

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode seven

Ah, the council. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

At least Liara is good at pep talks ;)

Joker, you cockblock

Haha DUDE we airborne, you THOUGHT

Now that I am exiled from the Citadel, guess I’ll run some galactic errands:

o Killed corporate scientists who though we would rescue them lol

o Destroyed a bunch of geth camps helping Tali on her pilgrimage

o Disabled a nuke and killed some pirates

o Shut down some evil Cerberus experiments

o And illegally traded information!

Okay time to get back on track

So we may or may not be flying to our doom

OH GOD LIARA LOVES ME!!! RAINA, YOU DISASTER, YOU DID IT AAAAAH ❤️❤️❤️

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode eight

You know what I love? Being murdered by geth armatures

All these Ilos ruins be looking the same

Security panel is only kinda helpful

Oh, luckily I know Prothean now!

“CANNOT BE STOPPED” wow very encouraging, thanks

After that super motivating message and disabling security, its time to go down, down to goblin town

Vigil? Oh word?

My girlfriend is GEEKING out

I knew something what wrong with that fucking Citadel

Vigil: information is power. Also Vigil: What does it matter why they do what they do? All that matters is you stop them

“non-essential” personnel die first, huh? GROSS, VIGIL (gotta be honest that hits different in 2020)

Garrus gets it, I knew we liked that guy

Okay, find conduit, save galaxy, break millennium-old genocide cyle, nbd

Ugh Mako you gotta do me dirty one last time I see, I hate this thing

THE CONDUIT STRAIGHT YEETED MAKO

The citadel robot says we’re doomed : )

This shootout is SO fun, seriously

Saren get it toGETHER

Renegade Raina can kill with a conversation apparently, well done then

Concentrate on the Sovereign—why am I gonna save a council that hates my guts, sorry, but I have a JOB to DO that you ACTIVELY HINDERED

Great, zombie husk Saren, just what I needed as I mull over the possible consequences of my galaxy-altering decision

GO JOKER GO

Humanity-only council seems…questionable. Raina didn’t love the council but this sits wrong. Couldn’t we just appoint a more diverse council, including a human?

Anderson seems like a good enough dude, so…we’ll see.

TIME FOR WAR BOYS, GODDAMN WHAT A GAME

62 notes · View notes

idnek83 · 3 years

Note

Can u write something about soudam wedding?

I’m sorry this took like 3 weeks to answer, but here you go: 4.3k word worth of Soudam wedding ramblings.

(This is for a western style wedding by the way)

Wedding Planning

Neither of them know what they’re doing, cus neither of them ever really spent much time thinking about weddings growing up, much less their own weddings lol

So one day, after they’re engaged, they’re just hanging out with some friends. They’re on a couch, Soda’s laying with his head in Gundham’s lap, just vibing, then their friends start asking about what they have planned. They both kind of look at each other and shrug, cus they have planned literally nothing, they just know they kind of want to get married on their anniversary, but that’s really all they’ve got lol.

Sonia like presses them for ideas cus they must have at least some idea of what they want, right?

Soda looks up at Gundham and is like ‘probably lots of black stuff, yeah?’

Gundham nods and looks down at him ‘perhaps with vibrant accents in your preferred colors as well?’

Soda’s like ‘Oooh and we could have like an animal theme maybe?? OH! OR A ROBOT ANIMAL THEME????’ and Gundhams just like ‘whatever makes you happy’ and they throw out a couple more terrible ideas while Sonia silently suffers lol.

Eventually they’re laughing at their own stupid ideas and Sonia is just glad they actually realize their ideas were dumb and they didn’t seriously want a goth robot hamster ice sculpture lol. They admit they don’t super care how it all goes down, they both just want to get married and have fun with all their friends at the reception.

Sonia offers to take care of the planning and stuff with her team of professionals (Yes she has a team on wedding planners okay, she’s the kind of person who has been planning her wedding since she was 9 and also she’s a princess so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). She seems really excited and Soda and Gundham really don’t know what they’re doing so they agree to let her handle it as long as they get the final say on things. She immediately starts rambling about all her ideas and Soda and Gundham just kind of chuckle and smile at each other.

Suit shopping

Fuyuhiko takes them suit shopping. They go together, they aren’t too concerned about keeping their outfits a secret from each other and they figure it’ll be fun to watch each other try on all kind of different things. Sonia comes too of course.

They start kind of idlily browsing sample suits (they’re getting custom suits made, Fuyuhiko wouldn’t hear otherwise) and Sonia asks what kind of suits they’d like to see each other in. They both stop and look at each other, and Fuyu rolls his eyes cus they’re just blatantly checking each other out lol.

Eventually Soda shrugs and is like “I don’t really care. As long as I get to see Gundham looking hot as hell in a tux I’m good with whatever” and Gundham kind of tilts his head and is like “So you would prefer me to wear a tuxedo?” Soda is dumb as hell and doesn’t realize Gundham is not using ‘tuxedo’ as a synonym for ‘suit’ like he was, so he gets super blushy and is like “Oh. I-I mean if you were thinking about a dress instead that’s cool too.” And Gundham’s eyes just widen a bit because he was not thinking about wearing a dress but now he’s thinking about Soda in a big, white, full skirted wedding dress. Soda is picturing Gundham in something a little more fitted with a high slit. They’re both just blushing and staring at each other until Fuyu clears his throat and tells Soda that a tuxedo is a type of suit, and he’s pretty sure that’s what Gundham meant. Soda just hides his face in his hands and apologizes. Gundham comes over to kiss his forehead and tell him it’s okay, and eventually they get back to looking at suits lol

Gundham’s done pretty quick. He does end up picking a tuxedo, and I’m not great at fashion but Just picture something black, very gothic, and a tiny bit extra haha. Soda super excited to see it once it’s done being made, cus Gundham already looked amazing in the sample suit. He maybe gets a little emotional looking at his fiancé all dressed up knowing it’s for their wedding, but nobody says anything and Gundham just smiles at him softly.

Soda has a lot more trouble. He doesn’t want to ruin their wedding by wearing something tacky so he’s trying to stick to traditional black. But every time he comes out and looks at himself in the full length mirror he can’t help but feel uncomfortable. He doesn’t look like himself, he thinks he looks like some kid borrowing his dad’s suit for prom.

He’s on like the 12th sample suit, he’s trying all kinds of styles and different lapels and undershirts/vest combos but he still just feels like trash in all of them. This suit fits him like a glove, accentuates all of his best features, and he honestly looks so good in it. Sonia and Fuyuhiko are telling him as much, along with whatever staff are around.

But Soda still doesn’t feel like himself. And Gundham can tell.

Gundham comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist and they both just look at themselves in the mirror for a moment. Gundham makes a point of frowning as he looks at the suit and Soda laughs at how obviously exaggerated it is. It’s the first time he’s genuinely smiled in at least an hour.

“What’s wrong, babe? Don’t like it?”

“Hmm… perhaps if it was yellow… maybe blue?”

Soda laughs but he feels a little self conscious. He really doesn’t want to make their wedding tacky, but he just doesn’t feel right in such… boring colors. He tells Gundham as much. Gundham hums and kisses his cheek, still holding him from behind, and asks to see color samples for the suits materials while Soda insists he’ll be fine and he’ll just get used to the black.

Someone brings Gundham a collection of cloth samples, and he finally separates from his fiancé to stand in front of him and hold them up, one by one. Soda is insisting black is fine the whole time. Eventually Gundham stops, holding up a sort of deep red, and tilts his head. Soda looks at the color; he likes it, but he’s still worried it would be kind of tacky. Gundham asks for someone to bring him a jacket in that color.

He puts it on Soda and grabs a black suit jacket and a red tie for himself, before standing next to Soda and linking their arms. Soda looks in the mirror and, hey, that’s not too bad, the red actually looks pretty classy, and paired up with Gundham’s tie it looks…

He starts crying, but it’s mostly relief and happiness. Fuyu laughs at him but tells him he looks good and Sonia just smiles while Gundham pulls him into a hug. They order the 12th suit in red, and every time Soda tries t apologize for being so difficult Gundham just shuts him up with a kiss lol.

Wedding Traditions and Stuff

They start talking about wedding traditions one day after having a conversation with Sonia about how the wedding plans are going. The first thing that comes up is the whole ‘bride walking down the aisle’ thing since, obviously, there isn’t gonna be a bride. Gundham suggests they both just walk out together, but Soda kind of wants that moment where he’s standing at the alter and gets to watch Gundham walk down the aisle towards him. Gundham just smiles and kisses him and says he’s like that too.

Soda suggests they take dance lessons or something so they can have a cool first dance. Gundham says they can if he really wants to, but he would rather just be able to hold Soda close and sway to the music without having to worry about memorized steps. Soda blushes and agrees, he mostly suggested it cus he thought Gundham would like it anyways.

Neither of them really care about name changes. They both offer to change theirs, but in the end they just decide to keep their own names.

Sonia (jokingly) mentions being disappointed because there won’t be a bouquet toss, and Chiaki (also jokingly) responds that Gundham should just toss a single rose into the crowd like tuxedo mask. He agrees to do it (not jokingly)

They both write their own stupid sappy vows, it’s not even something they have to discuss.

Hajime is Soda’s best man, Sonia is Gundham’s. She insists on being called ‘best man’ instead of ‘maid of honor’ or ‘best woman’ because she likes the way it sounds lol.

They pick a very classic décor theme, but add in a lot of black accents for the aesthetic✨

They decide to do that thing where they spend the night before the wedding apart and don’t see each other again until the actual ceremony.

Bachelor Party

Soda wasn’t planning on having his own bachelor party, he figured they could just have like a joint bachelor party at their house or something because he loves his fiancé and prefers to party with him lol. But then Fuyuhiko, Hajime, and Nekomaru are carrying him out the front door while Gundham casually waves and tells him to have fun lol (They absolutely got Gundham’s permission before kidnapping his man haha).

(Gundham invites Sonia over for wine and calls it his bachelor party. They watch the bachelor and laugh about how funny they are.)

Soda is thrown in the back seat of one of Fuyu’s fancy cars with blacked out windows and yells at his friends for like the whole trip while they just laugh at him lol. They eventually get to a bar and Soda is just super relieved it’s not a strip club, Hajime tells him it’s cus Gundham wouldn’t let him, but Fuyu and Nekomaru insist it’s cus they have more class than that. (Whose lying? You choose lol).

They get a table and a round of shots as soon as they get inside. It’s actually pretty laid back as far as bachelor parties go, they mostly just sit and talk, and get Soda gushing about his soon to be husband lol. At one point, after a couple drinks, they do like a chugging contest for the first time since they graduated uni and Soda wins. Fuyu is just like ‘wtf when did you get so good at this?” and Soda is like “Well, thanks to Gundham I’ve gotten really good at swallowing” and everybody just fucking groans while he loses his mind laughing lol

As the night goes on Soda just gets sappier and sappier and starts complaining about how much he misses his boyfriend. Nekomaru pats him on the back and is like ‘he isn’t even your boyfriend anymore, he’s your fiancé’ and Soda just light up like ‘yeah… I’m so lucky…’ before he stops and his eyes go wide. The other guys kind of look at each other, confused, before Hajime’s like ‘uh, you good dude?’ and Soda’s just like ‘oh my god, he’s my fiancé! We’re gonna get fucking married next week!! Holy shit that means he’s gonna be my husband! I have to tell him!’ and the guys just laugh while he dials Gundham.

Gundham is surprised to get a call from Soda and gets a little worried, so he answers like ‘is everything alright, my paramour?’ and Soda is just like ‘Holy shit Gundham! Did you realize we’re gonna be husbands??!?’ and Gundham just laughs and relaxes while telling Soda that, yes, he did realize they were going to be husbands lol

Soda just rambles away on the phone about how excited he is to marry Gundham and how he promises to be a good husband and how much he loves him. The other guys roll their eyes and decide it’s probably time to call it a night lol.

When Soda gets home he immediately attaches himself to Gundham and tells him how much he missed him lol. Gundham just pets his hair and gets them both ready for bed as he asks if Soda enjoyed his bachelor party. He says his favorite part was when his fiancé kissed him good night, and Gundham just rolls his eyes and does it haha

The Wedding

Soda is super nervous the night before (not in a ‘I’m not ready for this’ way, he’s just excited and scared he’s gonna say/do something dumb or that something terrible is gonna happen and ruin the whole thing) and he ends up calling Gundham from his hotel room at like midnight and talking about all his worries (“What if I say ‘I don’t’ by accident and we have to do the whole wedding again?” “What if I have to pee in the middle of our vows?” “What if we get to the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ part and like, Nekomaru suddenly decides he’s in love with you? There’s no way I could take him in a fight!”). Gundham smiles as he reassures Soda that whatever happens, they’ll get through it, and that he doesn’t really care what happens, as long as he gets to call Soda his husband by the end of the day.

They fall asleep telling each other how excited they are.

In the morning their respective best men wake them and help them get ready. Gundham styles his hair up and Soda puts his in a low ponytail, and they both put on their fancy new custom suits (They both got ties to match each other’s suits too haha). They’re both a little nervous but Hajime and Sonia are ready with all kinds of compliments and reassurances, and they get both grooms out their doors and on the road right on time.

Gundham gets to the venue first, and he’s a little taken aback by how good it looks. Sonia gushes about all the little details while Gundham just half listens and thanks her. He’s looking at the flower arrangements sitting in classy black vases, the chairs covered in white cloth held in place with black ribbon, and noticing all kinds of subtly gothic touches Sonia added to the décor. Soda may have been worried about making the wedding tacky with his suit, but Gundham had been worried about making it tacky with shitty gothic decorations. He’s amazed with how well Sonia managed to pull it off. He grabs both her hands and sincerely tells her that he loves her and that she is, and always will be, his dearest friend. They both get a little teary and hug it out haha.

Then Hajime ruins it by kicking in the front door and saying something like ‘Gundham you look hot as fuck, but get out of my sight right now so I can bring your stupid ass fiancé in. Also, hey Sonia, great job decorating.’ Lol

Sonia and Gundham head off into a little room to wait for the ceremony to start, and Hajime heads back out to get Soda. When Soda gets inside he’s just as impressed by the décor as Gundham was. He thinks it’s all very Gundham and he loves it. Hajime tells him he tried to get Sonia to throw in some hot pink roses for Soda and Soda is just like ‘thank god Sonia didn’t listen to you.’ Lol

Soda just heads right into the main hall, just taking in all the amazing décor until his eyes land on the wedding arch. He stares at it and it just really hit him that this is happening. He’s about to marry the love of his life. He’s about to be able to call Gundham his husband. He’s about to be Gundham’s husband. He starts tearing up and Hajime pats him on the back, smiling ‘Come on, ya big sap, lets get you married’

Hajime gets Soda up to the front to take his place under the arch and Sonia comes out to see how things are going. Everything is pretty much ready and the officiant is ready to go, so Sonia heads back to Gundham’s room and the officiant signals everyone to take their seats so they can get things started. Soda’s regained his composure in the tie it took everyone to settle down, and Hajime gives him one last pat on the back before he takes his place to the side and the music starts.

Soda looks up as the door opens and he sears the image into his mind immediately.

Gundham looks amazing, he always does, but there’s just something extra to it in that moment. He’s glowing, Soda decides, and as their eyes lock he feels himself tearing up again. It only gets worse as Gundham gets closer, it’s not long before he’s full on crying. He’s jut so overwhelmed with love and happiness, and he almost wants to sip all the vows and wedding rites and just be married already.

Gundham’s not doing much better. He’s vaguely aware of their friends and family waving to him and complimenting him or congratulating him as he passes, but he’s way too focused on Soda to really care. He looks so handsome in his deep red suit with his hair tied back, and he’s frozen, clutching his hands in front of him nervously the way he had been when Gundham entered. Gundham want’s to run to him, sweep him off his feet and just declare them married himself, but he manages to hold himself back. He doesn’t hold back his tears nearly as well though, and a few roll down his cheeks before he makes it to the altar.

When Gundham gets to Soda he immediately pulls him into a tight hug, Soda wrapping his arms around him just as quickly, and then they’re both laughing through their tears. Gundham gently strokes Soda’s hair, careful not to mess it up, and kisses his forehead. Sonia scoffs to let Gundham know he’s on thin ice for that, she’s very into wedding traditions, but lets it slide since it technically isn’t a real kiss lol.

They eventually pull themselves away from each other a bit and try to wipe away each other’s tears at the same time. It’s a little awkward but they’re happy and don’t care, they just keep staring at each other as they finally step back, still holding hands, and signal to the officiant that they’re ready to start.

Soda says his vows first, it’s on purpose, he wanted to go first cus he knew he would be too busy crying after Gundham’s vows haha. He’s like shaking really hard when he starts, cus he hates public speaking and he’s embarrassed to be so sappy in front of all their friends, but as he talks he watches Gundham light up and it just gets easier and easier, until he’s only shaking from the effort it’s taking not to kiss his groom.

Everyone is expecting Gundham’s vows to be long winded and extra extra, but to their surprise they’re pretty straight forward. Gundham explains, as part of his vows, that he doesn’t need extravagant metaphors to express his love and he wants to speak plainly and clearly, in hopes of expressing how clear his feelings for Soda are (he said he doesn’t need metaphors, nut technically the whole thing is a metaphor lol). Soda is in fact crying well before he finishes, and the only things that stop them from kissing once Gundham stops talking are a stern cough from Sonia and a disapproving tut from Hajime lol

The officiant does their thing, Soda and Gundham requested a shortened version of the usual spiel cus they didn’t want to have to stand through a stupidly long ceremony, but even that feels way too long to them haha. When they get to the ‘speak now or forever hold you peace’ part, Gundham raises a non-existent brow at Soda before gazing pointedly at Nekomaru for a second. Soda snorts and laughs and nobody else gets it, but no one speaks up either haha

Gundham is the first to say ‘I do’, then Soda nearly cuts the officiant off with his own ‘I do’ before they can even finish the question haha. The officiant basically steps out of the way while saying ;you may now kiss cus they can tell these two have no patience lol.

They both lean in before the officiant even finishes speaking. Their lips meet and Soda wraps his arms around Gundham’s neck while Gundham pulls him in by his waist. Their friends are cheering and clapping and both of them are crying again.

They both smile and laugh as they part and make their way back down the aisle, thanking all their friends and family, before heading outside to get some photos taken.

Photos take literal hours (wedding party, friends, family, just them, each of them separate, each of them separate with friends, separate with family, now each individual family member with both of them and each of them separately, etc, etc), and they’re both pretty tired by the end of it. They end up heading back to Gundham’s little waiting room to take a nap together.

Sonia sends Mahiru in to get a picture of them cuddled together on the little couch. Both of them have their suit jackets off, their ties loose, and a couple shirt buttons undone. Soda is lying between Gundham’s legs, head resting sideways on his chest and drooling a little. Gundham as his arms wrapped around Soda’s back and his cheek is pressed against his hair. One of Gundham’s legs is dangling off the front of the too narrow couch, along with one of Soda’s arms.

Despite how sloppy they both look, it’s one of their favorite pictures from their wedding day.

The Reception

When Soda and Gundham wake up from their nap like an hour later, they spend like a solid 20 minutes just tenderly making out being all ‘hey you’re my husband now and I’m gonna keep saying the word husband until we’re both sick of it’ haha (neither of them get sick of it). Eventually Sonia and Hajime come get them, Hajime makes a comment like ‘haha save something for your wedding night guys’ and Sonia is just bluntly like ‘yeah, you two will have plenty of time to fuck later’ lol

They all grab something to eat before the reception because Soda and Gundham have barely eaten anything all day.

Their first dance is literally just them holding each other and kissing and swaying to the music, and Soda is so glad Gundham didn’t want to take dance lessons cus he doesn’t want to do anything but hold and kiss his husband in that moment. After the first dance the champagne starts flowing freely and formal atmosphere dissolves pretty quickly lol

Gundham and Soda have both ditched their jackets and are alternating between chatting and laughing with their friends and rocking out on the dance floor (they’re terrible dancers but it’s their wedding and no one is allowed to judge them lol). They’re both kind of acting like they’re drunk but they haven’t actually had that much to drink, they’re just stupid happy. They keep sneaking off to make out, only for Hajime or Sonia to drag them back lol

By the mid night Gundham has lost his tie (They threw it on the ground during one of their make outs and both of them forgot lol) and Soda has some fresh hickies on his neck, and Sonia and Hajime decide they’ve fulfilled their socialization quota and finally release them lol. They thought about getting a hotel room, but they both agreed they would rather just spend their first night as a married couple in their own bed.

The Wedding Night 👀

(suggestive but not explicit)

They start making out the second they get in the limo (courtesy of the Kuzuryu family) to take them home. They can’t keep their hands off each other, but they manage to keep their clothes on for now haha.

Once they make it home they’re stumbling over each other to get to the door, but then Soda freezes when they get it unlocked and Gundham is just like ??? Soda looks at him wide eyed and is just like ‘I want to do the thing’ and before Gundham can figure out what he means, Soda literally sweeps him off his feet and carries him bridal style into their home. Gundham just laughs and lets it happen.

Soda throws Gundham onto the bed and jumps on top of him, resuming their earlier make outs for bit before Gundham pushes him back. Its Soda’s turn to be like ??? but Gundham just says he has a surprise for him and heads off to the bathroom.

Soda is 100% expecting lingerie, but when Gundham steps out in a lacy white baby doll with matching white panties and stockings he nearly dies from joy.

Gundham says he noticed the way Soda had reacted to the idea of him in a wedding dress during their suit fitting and went out to buy this outfit pretty much right after. Maybe it wasn’t quite a wedding dress, but it definitely had a bridal feeling to it.

Once some of Soda’s blood makes it back up to his brain, he smirks and points out that Gundham doesn’t really qualify for the whole wearing white on your wedding day thing’ and Gundham’s like ‘hmm, really? Better make sure, just in case’

It’s all really tender, filled with reverent kisses and I love you’s and a couple of happy tears, and by the end of it both of them are completely naked and cuddled up, smiling as they look at the new matching gold rings adorning their fingers.

They both fall asleep thinking about how excited they are to spend the rest of their lives together.

#Soudam #Soudam wedding #replies #anon #Soudam ramblings #I wrote this in bits and pieces over a few days so I'm sorry if theres inconsistencies #this is longer than all my fics except 'Aid' jesus #I didn't even mention everything #why do I do this to myself #I could have just done the wedding but nooo #brain said I had to talk about all the lead up too #oh well it was fun #hope yall enjoy my suffering #fluff

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all-things-mlqc · 4 years

Note

hi! sorry i dont know if your askbox is open, sorry if its not 😰. If it is, can i ask a scenario for who from more to less if the boys whould have "stronger stomachs", i mean who could deal with more extreme situations. (like a s/o who gets severely hurt, or has a bug acident or dealing with a pregnant s/o who has to deliver at home, etc) Thanks!

Ofc! Asks are open and I’m slowly but surely getting through them doing a few at once as well.

To be honest, the boys all have pretty strong stomachs when it comes to injuries and accidents considering the amount of chaos they’ve already been through. However, they’re all different in a way as well which I will get to. As for pregnancy at home, yeah some of these boys are a mess. Full summaries under the cut!

Victor:

I honestly believe Victor has the weakest stomach among the five of them. As far as we know, he hasn’t been through as much as the others. Sure, he and MC went through some childhood trauma together, but as for more severe incidents, he doesn’t seem to have as much experience. He very much seems like he would have a hard time seeing someone dear to him in an accident and/or severely injured. The same goes for seeing unknown people this way but it hits him a lot harder when it’s someone he knows. We already know this man has anxiety levels at 100 when someone dear to him gets hurt please stop having guards follow me into the women’s bathroom for the LOVE OF GOD IM FINE. But anywho, weak stomach > strong stomach for Victor. More on the weaker side just because he has a shit ton of anxiety and doesn’t want to believe it when he sees it.

Do I have to explain for pregnancy at home? The man is FREAKING O U T. He has called guards, personal doctors, a whole team of people, literally anything his money can buy him to help MC in this situation. He doesn’t know what to do at all and tries to play it off but miserably fails at doing so. Anxiety levels have reached 1000%. His weak stomach here is also mainly from anxiety rather than blood and such but lord help his soul.

Kiro:

SPOILER ALERT. Kiro’s will include spoilers from both the main story and information from his latest rumors and secrets which has not yet been revealed in the main story.

Kiro is a confusing one. The best way to explain it is by putting him in a certain scenario:

One of his very close friends/loved ones has been seriously injured. Upon seeing these injuries and the blood that came with them with his own eyes, he covers his mouth from naseuousness. The idea of someone so dear to him being in such pain—

However, theres a sense of nonchalantness he couldn’t quite make out. While he may not have the strongest stomach after seeing severe injuries, he doesn’t seem as bothered as he expected to be; Almost as if he was used to it. He has an idea why but they’re only fade memories. **CHAPTER 10+ SPOILERS** Having an “alter ego” is difficult considering he doesn’t always remember everything as the other person. Kiro only has partial memories of Helios while Helios only has small fragments of Kiro. But was he really Helios that often to become used to such injuries? He can never remember but he always assumed he was Kiro more than Helios. **Rumors & Secrets Spoiler** While that may be true, Kiro isn’t his core self. Deep deep down, he isn’t Kiro at his core and only became Kiro when instructed to as a child (it was revealed that he was told to become Kiro at a young age. We don’t have too many details on this yet but I’m assuming it was either an experiment tested on him or someone’s evol getting in his head). At his core, he has seen much violence. He has been a pawn for Black Swan and has been on many missions. Blood and injuries don’t faze him in the slightest anymore. He doesn’t like making a mess of things but he also doesn’t hesitate if a job needs to be done. He’s been injured far too many times to care at this point. The reason for Kiro’s calm composure is purely because of how nothing affects him as Helios, but he, as Kiro, does not know this. This also explains Kiro’s serious hacker side as well as Helios’ soft side when it comes to MC. Kiro and Helios act so different yet have very similar traits all because they affect each other as a whole.

Now as for pregnancy, Kiro is surprisingly calm. Sure he’s nervous but he’s a lot more encouraging and reassures MC that everything will be ok. He makes calls, texts for advice and what to do in this situation, but he still remains as cool as ever. He has a pretty strong stomach with pregnancy because he knows and understands the beauty in life. After all, he is our sunshine. Seeing the baby coming doesn’t scare him, it makes him beam with joy as he continues to encourage MC to keep pushing and that she’s doing a great job. He keeps a smile on his face the whole time as to not make MC worry.

Gavin:

Gavin is a complicated one. He has worked with the police force ever since graduating high school. He’s a captain for not only the police force but for the secret evol organization as well. This doesn’t just mean he’s one of the strongest and most intelligent individuals in the force, but also one of the most capable during missions. You can’t freeze in a mission; You can’t hesitate in the slightest. You have to be prepared for anything and everything and that includes serious injuries or even death. You can’t let things like that faze you or you won’t make it. This tells us that Gavin has a pretty strong stomach when considering injuries or accidents. HOWEVER, as told to us in later chapters, Gavin lost his mother in a fire. Because of this, he gets much more anxious and shaken when fires are involved. Eli, Gavin’s partner, also mentioned how Gavin hates fires in general, confirming that fires are unsettling for Gavin. This doesn’t necessarily mean that Gavin can’t handle the situation, but that he has more anxiety when dealing with anything fire related. Anxiety is a different kind of effect on someone’s stomach compared to not being able to handle the sight of blood. Gavin’s weak stomach to fire incidents is purely from stress and anxiety. Other than that, Gavin has one of the strongest stomachs out of the suitors.

As for pregnancy… haha oh lord you bet your ass this man is nearly on the floor. You probably have to do the contraction count for him so he doesn’t pass out, himself. Like I said before, blood doesn’t faze him especially when he knows it’s natural during pregnancy. However, the idea of not having a professional or someone to help you gives him more anxiety than he’s ever had. He only wants you and the baby to be ok. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he suggests the idea of him flying you to the nearest hospital. And to be quite honest, that may even work considering how FAST he flies. Overall, he has a pretty strong stomach here as well. He just has a lot of anxiety when it comes to MC.

Shaw:

**There will also be spoilers on Shaw and his background/where he comes from. I will try to make it as discreet as possible so not too much will be spoiled for those who don’t know yet, so read at your own risk**

Again, this boy has been through thick and thin his whole life. Considering his dad is a big shot in the military/police force as well as some Evol organization, Shaw has very likely seen a lot. Because his father was a very important part of an evol organization, he wanted a child with a powerful evol and ended up having Shaw who possessed an evol at a very young age. And because of this, Shaw was taken away from any family he had and was raised by his bitch of a father if I must say so myself. In later chapters, Shaw takes out a big group of people all by himself and laughs it off (just the kind of person he is, I swear he’s not crazy, he’s just broken on the inside). While Shaw and Lucien are very similar when it comes to being mysterious, I actually think it’s more difficult to read Shaw. He’s very unpredictable so I really don’t know if injuries or accidents faze him more than I believe. However, from what we’ve seen, I don’t think he minds all that much. He has a strong stomach and can handle these sort of events but I can’t say for sure if he hates it deep down or not just because he seems very sad and lonely behind his facade.

As for pregnancy, he’s somewhat in the middle of being calm and freaking out. If any of y’all play Ikemen Vampire, think of Leo in this case. Tries to play stuff off, panics on the inside, but still knows what to do in this situation. He’s more or less quiet in this situation as well. No sassy remarks, more focused and even supportive Shaw? supportive??? Yes he can be a good boy too, he’s just an asshat 99% of the time. I’m also convinced he doesn’t know much on pregnancy considering he doesn’t know WHAT A MCHECCIN DATE IS. But Shaw being Shaw probably knows exactly what to do just because he’s an intellectual little SHIT. To be honest, I feel like he may even have more of a weak stomach when it comes to pregnancy in general. He has this sort of innocence to him so he isn’t fully prepared for what is to come with pregnancy. Especially if MC is delivering at home, he probably has no idea what is right or wrong so seeing something completely natural may make him panic on the inside because he’s really unsure. He just has a natural talent at knowing what to do in situations.

Lucien:

Lucien has seen some shit. Nothing fazes this man, let’s be honest. Out of all the suitors, I believe Lucien has seen the most gruesome and disturbing events this goes without including Helios. **CHAPTERS 10+ SPOILERS AHEAD**

Lucien has practically been a test subject his whole life. His evol is still very confusing to us, but the best way to explain it is by saying he has the ability to “copy” or “steal” evols. There’s not much information covering this yet so I won’t get that far into it, however, he was only one of the many experiments, such as Hades, who have been tested on and survive. Being grown up as an experiment automatically helps develop a stronger stomach for him. Even if he might’ve had a weak stomach as a child, constantly being put through this stuff his whole life surly would’ve had an affect on how much he would be able to handle. Seeing the same stuff over and over again, consistently would eventually build up tolerance to the point where he can handle almost any sort of injuries or accidents. So Lucien has one of the strongest if not the strongest among the group.

Then there’s pregnancy. He is there. He is ready to deliver the baby himself. Yes, he can do that. No, I don’t think he is completely qualified LMAO but let’s be real here, he’s a prodigy and one of the most intelligent people in Loveland City honestly probably even the country. This is like a walk in the park for him. He knows everything about pregnancy MINUS THE PAIN and everything to do in this situation. He keeps a smile on his face the whole time as well. Very loving and supportive while delivering their own baby. The blood and sight of pregnancy doesn’t faze him one bit. He only gets worried when MC looks terribly in pain. He does everything he can to soothe the pain for her and takes care of everything after to let her rest. Honestly hate how amazing of a husband and dad he would be. Overall, he has one hell of a strong stomach with pregnancy and a very strong stomach with accidents/injuries.

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muichewrou · 4 years

Note

AYYYYY NEW KNY WRITING BLOG, HELLO! I was wondering If i could request a giyuu x fem reader scenario (where the reader is kinoe ranked if thats okay!) Where they were best friends with giyuu along with sabito but after sabito's death they drifted apart, its been 4 years and reader saves tanjiro squad from a demon before giyuu can and she's changed a lot (used to be short, now is taller for instance!) And its just a very fluffy and emotional reunion? Tysm if u do this HAVE A GREAT DAY 💖💕💗💕

yaaa!!! this was my first request but I’m so sorry for taking so long!! I merged these two since they’re kind of similar, I hope you don’t mind! this includes my headcanons for how giyuu made his haori haha and some parts might seem incomplete but I didn’t wanna hold it back any longer 💕 💕 enjoy!!

Note: Includes spoilers for Giyuu’s backstory and takes place before the Natagumo Mt. arc. Under the cut due to length.

Word Count: 7.7k+

https://twitter.com/xu77106413/status/1194118794265841664?s=20

This was drawn by a very good friend of mine, xu! follow her on instagram and twitter! she’s also on Tumblr under the same user.

“I didn’t want him to die either.”

Your voice echoes through the shoddy and diminutive home you shared with Giyuu and your teacher, Sakonji Urokodaki. Giyuu’s eyes stays locked onto the pot of meat and vegetables that’s been simmering in broth for a lengthy amount of time, never straying away from it once. The wooden bowls in front of you remain empty, and the eating utensils positioned on the tray too lay dormant. Your two cups of tea go cold.

The male chooses to uphold the silence he’s kept up ever since returning from the Final Selection, only nodding and shaking his head to mimic a reply. It was a reasonable way to handle grief, and you allowed it for roughly a week or so, but as of late he has been rejecting your attempts at training with him.

Instead, he was now laboring himself with stitching together two contrasting cloths, to which you realize one of them was half of the haori he had worn ever since arriving here to train as a Demon Slayer.

The other half, you recognize after one glimpse, is indisputably Sabito’s. That pattern of his yukata was how you identified him from the others during the Final Selection.

Your eyes narrow, but no maliciousness is directed at the male. Rather, you were apprehensive about how exactly the completed cloth would look like. Mismatched outfits didn’t seem to be the trend these days, but what do you know–it’s not like you’re allowed to travel to cities or villages and contemplate their different senses of fashion when Urokodaki would preferably have you hone your breathing techniques.

Suddenly, you remember how Giyuu and yourself wouldn’t be training with Urokodaki once the swordsmith returns with your meticulously handcrafted Nichirin blades. You would shortly separate onto your differing paths, Urokodaki continuing to cultivate Water Breath swordsmen and the two of you fulfilling missions to work your way up through the ranks as Demon Slayers.

Despite how it was you that was ridiculing Giyuu for his way of coping, a burning sensation tingles your eyes. The boy stiffens up, unsure of what to do. You shake your head to disperse the tears, yanking the ladle hanging near the boiling pot. You begin to serve him before you serve yourself.

You take a sip of the broth, wincing at the burning heat. Giyuu sets his work aside in favor of filling up his stomach, and you use it as an opportunity to observe his progress so far.

To put it bluntly, it was horrendous. The weaving of the two garments together was so dreadful that certain areas were fraying due to his unrefined needlework, and besides that, the cloth had overlapped in a jagged pattern than straight down the middle as it should be.

He gives you a look you can barely distinguish, “Do you want it?”

“Want what?” You lower your bowl. He raises up the other half of Sabito’s attire, expression unwavering. He motions over to your own haori, and you can just barely comprehend the idea. “I…”

Did he want you to alter your clothing similarly? You suppose that was the only logical conclusion you could come up with.

But as strange as it seemed, you want it, you really do. Other than his mask which was returned to Urokodaki, the patterned yukata was the only keepsake from Sabito that was left to the two of you. Mindlessly, your hand starts to gravitate towards the fabric, but you pull away when your hands brush against each other.

Giyuu’s eyes are large and seemingly displays a look of betrayal. You don’t care for that expression. He should be happy just like when Sabito was alive, or before his sister died.

Hesitating, you reach back for it again, gripping the cloth. Only when it’s in your hands do you clutch it tightly to your chest, sighing at the way it calmed you.

“I think I’ll…make this into a scarf. It’s getting chilly, after all.” You finger the delicate material, looking up. “I can help you with your…haori if you want. This way, he can always be with us no matter where we go. That’s what you wanted, right?”

You worked on the fabrics the following week, barely finishing it just as Haganezuka arrived with the swords.

“Thank you, [Name],” he takes his haori out of your hands and slips it on, evening out the creases. “It looks good.”

You tug the scarf around your neck, “you’re welcome, but just don’t damage it, okay?”

His skin is sickly pale and his eyes seem duller than before. “I won’t. Let’s go, our mission is to the west.”

Giyuu turns his back to you and strides ahead, never looking back to check if you were following. You stare at his hand that hung loosely to his side.

Your fingers twitch slightly, but you resign to resting your hand on the hilt of your sword. You hasten your pace, heading along behind him.

Each mission after the first tested your relationship with Giyuu. He was a great partner overall with that strength and composure of his, but the connection between you seemed…lost.

“Why don’t you talk to me anymore?”

Your voice startles him. ‘This is exactly what I’m talking about–his life has been so centralized around demons that he forgets that I’m here.’

“You’ve changed so much these past few months. You hardly interact with me nowadays, so what am I?”

Your nose begins to tingle, and you sneeze into the sleeve of your haori, the mask around your head almost slipping off. Giyuu says nothing at first, only blinking, then:

“Are you sick?” He avoids the question.

“Hah? You tell me,” the words scratch against your throat and your eyes begin to water from sneezing. You wrap the scarf tighter around your neck, sniffling out loud so he could hear. “Are you sick of me, Giyuu?”

”Me? No, I’m not ill.”

You fling your head down in exasperation, scowling at the snow accumulating around your feet. Though the both of you were now 17 years old, he didn’t exactly have the ability to read the atmosphere of the situation. You compared him to a child constantly, oblivious and distracted, annoyingly lovable at times. “Giyuu, I swear. You’re so dense sometimes, you know?”

“You’ve mentioned it before, but I’m not sure how to improve it.”

“Yeah, well, I’m starting to think it’s ’cause of me. Even when Sabito was still here, you were always nervous around me when we’re alone together. ”

When you first met Giyuu when you were 14, he stuttered over his words so much that every time he had to talk to you, Sabito had to speak for him. It’s toned down over the years, but the awkwardness was still there. You, however, felt just fine speaking with him the first time.

You scratch the back of your head and drag your fingers through your hair, pondering your next words. “So this might be a relief to you, Giyuu, because Oyakata-sama is dispatching me off to recruit some orphans. Supposedly, they keep rejecting his request to make them Slayers.”

“Why?” Came his curt reply.

“I just told you—”

“No. Why you? There are plenty of other Demon Slayers capable of doing the same.”

“What?” You cross your arms, leaning toward him, “It’s the Master’s orders. I can’t do anything about it. Aren’t you happy? Chances are, we’re going to be separated for the rest of our time as Demon Slayers.”

He tilts his head. Why would he be happy? His happiest moments were when he was with you and Sabito, and there was no denying how nervous he was with you, but that was because you made him feel fuzzy inside. He couldn’t explain it.

Seeing him deep in thought made you open your mouth to question him, but you decide against it once your crow flies to your shoulder, shrieking into your ear.

“I guess that’s my cue to go. Don’t miss me too much alright, Giyuu,” you joke lightly, waving your hand and running past him. Out of the corner of your eyes, you see that he’s distraught, eyes wide and brows furrowed, hand outstretched towards you.

—-

Four years later, you still regret glancing back at him. At that time, you realized you were mistaken about his feelings and only established more emotional baggage for him. You were really the only person he had left ever since departing from Urokodaki.

But you couldn’t do anything. As you foresaw, Kagaya had decided to separate you and Giyuu as an arrangement for your abilities to not be concentrated in one region.

Before you know it, you’re running into the forest with the hand on the hilt of your sword. Your crow continues to squawk out orders as it soars along the late evening sky, the sunlight dwindling and barely peeking through the treetops.

“Caw! Three Mizunoto ranked Slayers are reported to clash against several Demons in the Forest of Correction! Mission, mission!” his sharp cries grate into your ears as he glides through the sacred grove, swerving around branches and leading you further into the forest.

You can hear the shouts of “Zenitsu, watch out!” and “over here Inosuke!” once you stray from the path, jumping over a bush that was in your way.

You hop onto a tree, using the height to your advantage. In the distance, you can see three male Slayers battling against a demon of above-average size. One was shirtless and donned a boar head, another was outfitted in a yellow triangle-patterned haori that faded to orange, and the last being a boy who hauled a heavy-looking compartment on his shoulders. It was a traditional battle with novices standing up against a weak demon, nothing more, nothing less. Or at least that’s what you assumed initially. Your crow did say ”several demons”, didn’t he?

Immediately, you could sense multiple presences lurking within the dark thickets. Drawing your blade from its sheath, you push yourself off the tree and ascend towards enemies in hiding, dismissing the demon the kids were taking care of.

”Breath of Water, Tenth Style: The Dragon of Change.”

Your scarf flings itself around as you spin and twist your body through the air, sword raised above your shoulder. Evading the trees using precise and striking reflexes, you continue rotating as the demons are soon visible, one of them getting caught in the momentum as they leap out to attack you.

A shriek erupts from his lips as he cradles his head, the body already disintegrating from the legs up. Without any time to lose, you swerve to the left once more to hurl yourself towards the leftover demons.

There were five demons total in the thicket. With one throwing themselves recklessly to your blade, that left four, but only two were in front of you.

You resume your rotations. Spin once, slice through the air twice. Then spin twice, slicing through the air three times. Consecutively performing those movements until you meet your destination, building up the steps as you go on.

”Your footing is off. Your swings are too slow,” Sabito announces as you try to catch your breath, wooden sword on the ground and hands placed on your knees. You dry heave, reaching for the pouch of water he’s carrying. When he refuses to hand it over, you drop your head down, sweat trickling onto the dirt.

”Please, Sabito?” He shakes his head, tossing the satchel onto the floor. Giyuu, who was visibly uncomfortable with Sabito’s treatment of you, stood to the side, clutching at the sleeves of his haori. The satchel bounced to his feet, and he felt obligated to pick it up.

”I’ll only show you once again. Focus on my feet and how I position myself when swinging the sword.”

You lick your dry lips, not opposed to his wishes,”…but…water?”

He gives a look to Giyuu. The black-haired male freezes up, fidgeting with the satchel.

(That look means ”don’t give it to her”. How do you know? You’ve observed it too many times during your training sessions with him.)

He grabs the practice weapon on the ground and moves immediately.

Sabito was the epitome of a perfect swordsman. A child prodigy. The amount of stamina he possessed was astounding. His speed and strength far overshadowed both of yours and Giyuu’s.

That didn’t mean he left you behind, though. As strict as he was, he cared for his comrades—even more than his own life.

His footsteps created no sound whatsoever. He was a crow’s feather fluttering across the sky, twirling and shifting directions according to the breeze.

You keep yourself from falling over in awe by grasping onto Giyuu’s arm, making him shudder from the gesture and straighten his posture. Sabito smirks at you once he sees the literal sparkles in your eyes, pleased with your reaction.

Step to the right, step to the left. Bend your arms during the pauses. Pivot if the foe swipes at you and retaliate by swinging your weapon around yourself to protect your body. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Until the energy and forcefulness of the attacks reach its peak–the apex of your power.

Then, the climax. Charge at the enemy by forcing your foot down at the final step, leaping and twisting your body while your blade slashes into the target. The finishing blow.

His choreography ends as he tosses the wooden sword away and walks towards you, all while the training log he practiced on splits into four and slides to the surface. What a show-off!

”If you manage to do the same, I’ll allow you to have a drink of water.”

”You’re lying!” you gape back at him.

But he wasn’t, evident in the way his nose scrunches up as if saying, ”are you kidding me?”

So you try again. Numerous times, in fact. Giyuu retires at some time to assist Urokodaki with a supply run, but Sabito stays to attend to the exercise.

You use one of the many boulders around as a stepping stool, kicking yourself off into the air once more. In a flash, you decapitate the two of them in one slash.

Gasping, you turn to Sabito for confirmation. Did you really just do that? Not only cutting the trunk into four, but six pieces?

”Sabito, did you see that?!” Your hair reels against your cheek like a whip, and you’re reveling in your breakthrough–so much that you don’t care about the aching and soreness of your overtaxed muscles.

There’s a pleased look in his eyes, though it’s driven away in an instant. He takes a step forward.

”–since this technique requires more stamina to perform, you may tire out soon after. Make sure there are no enemies around before resting. If you’re ever in a pinch, the Piercing Rain Drop can save your life,” when the weapon is picked up again, he demonstrates by jabbing it into the air in front of him and jumping back.

But you’ve executed the Tenth Style countless of times. You’ve built enough endurance to perform it at least ten times without rest. To you, The Dragon Of Change was a technique most meaningful to you, so it was obvious that you trained yourself relentlessly after he passed.

The peach-haired boy blinks, unfazed when he sees you pout, breathing heavily. You’re glaring at him through watery and hazy vision, crawling towards the water Giyuu set on the ground before he left.

“You’re not even gonna praise me? Boring! All that for nothing! I’ll train with Giyuu from now on, then. He’s more encouraging than you, at least.”

The threat hangs loosely in the air. Sabito knew you liked being with him too much to separate from him. It would have been far better if Giyuu could stick around and practice techniques along with you, but Urokodaki gets rather intimidating when he’s mad.

You could barely feel him ruffling your hair up in your fit of frustration. Jolting, you gaze up in astonishment, at a loss for words.

Your eyes narrow as you feel a presence behind you. One demon on foot, and another hovering in the air just above it. You hadn’t reached the ground yet as it had barely been a second since defeating the previous demons.

”Breath of Water, Ninth Style: Water Splash,” you sidestep as she hurls herself at you. The swiftness of her efforts caused her to skid across the dirt, shooting into healthy foliage of the thicket. Her eyes widen when you ignore her for the other demon, leaping up and cutting off the head in an instant.

Weak. All of them are unbearably weak.

His head flies through the air and he cries out his last words, “What the hell?! I thought we were just fighting some incompetent brats, but this chick is on a whole ‘nother level! Hina, you can’t fight against her!”

He plummets to the surface, limbs entangled together. His body wriggles as if he’s been possessed, but you find that it was his will to keep existing and sink his teeth into your flesh.

“Aoi!” The female demon howls in rage as her partner decays and shrivels from the injury, baring her teeth and scampering in your direction. Her fury amplifies tenfold as she observes you sheathing your blade and strolling back to the three Mizunoto ranked Slayers. “You! I’ll kill–?!”

One by one, her limbs tumbles onto the soil. First, her legs. Next is her torso, a figurine sectioned and carved with fresh little cuts intricately, the delicate and refined labor of a notable craftsman. Fingers are falling individually from her hands and crumble before they come in contact with the ground. Her head is halved cleanly from ear to ear. Blood drips into her gaping jaw and bubbles her utterances and wails into sorrowful and incomprehensible nothingness. She, too, deteriorates away when her neck slips away from her torso.

”Come again?” you taunt, never halting your pace. But she is already gone.

The boys had succeeded in defeating the demon they busied themselves with while you dealt with the others. One more.

”Hey! Over here!” the one in the checkered haori exclaims, a wide smile plastered onto his face as he waves you over. ”Thank you so much for your help. To be honest, I felt that maybe we wouldn’t make it out alive with that number of demons—”

”You!” The boar shoves his finger towards you, one hand clasped around both his Nichirin blades. He’s stomping his foot harshly to the dirt, jerking as he spoke roughly…and was that steam coming out of his snout? ”You’re strong! But I’ll be the judge of that, so fight me right here, right now!!”

”Inosuke, calm down!” The red-haired boy raises his hands in an attempt to alleviate the boar’s passion to instigate quarrels. ”You should be thanking her, too! If she hadn’t taken care of those demons in the thicket, we would have all succumbed to our wounds sooner or later. You too, Zenitsu! Wake up–”

You point your sword to his neck. He blinks. Zenitsu’s eyes are now wide open, huge and bleary. Inosuke growls.

”Box. Hand it over.”

”Huh?”

You grab him by his haori and flip him over onto his stomach without so much of a thought. He gives a yelp and struggles by wriggling under you, but he is essentially powerless against you. ‘She’s fast!’

The other two males are frozen in place, unsure of what to do.

They had little to no knowledge of you and where you came from. You were clearly a high-ranking Slayer, skilled in the art of swordsmanship and having impressive strength, speed, and composure.

”W-wait, please!” the boy under you blurts, ”we mean no harm! If you’ll let us go, we won’t ever cross your path again!”

Zenitsu chimes in, ”yeah, what he said! Besides, you wouldn’t want to hurt the cutest little girl you’ll ever see in that box, would you?”

”I could care less about the gender of a demon,” you raise your sword, the tip pointing downwards to the wooden box. You don’t budge when Zenitsu throws himself onto your legs, yanking on the cloth of your uniform.

”WAIT, wait, wait! I have an even better idea!” He wipes his face on the fabric, dampening it with his tears and blood. Why was he crying, anyway? Rocking back and forth, he wails, ”you and me– let’s get married! You’re so strong, you can protect me from all the demons that come our way!”

You kick him away with your right foot, dragging his friend away.

”Listen to me carefully,” you begin, ”once I take care of this demon, you’ll be free to walk away. The two of you are so adamant about letting it live, so I’ll strike you a deal.”

All of them quiet down, but you don’t continue. Guilt trickles through your veins. Must you really be lying to them? Reassuring them that you wouldn’t let Kagaya learn about their breach of conduct when you know damn well you’ll report it as soon as possible?

You gulp.

You’re a good person. A role model for the lower-ranked members of the Corps. Furthermore, you dislike fabricating your words, but at the same time you want to defend the helpless.

This is for the best of humanity, you reason with yourself.

”Hey! I ain’t getting any good vibes from this chick,” Inosuke announces, muscles rippling as he raises his blades in the air. He puffs out his chest. ”Zangetsu! When I go in, you charge right behind, okay?!”

”T-that’s not my name!” he groans in pain. Tears fly out of his eyes and his nose is leaking out blood uncontrollably.

You scoff, ”it’s futile, anyhow. Your buddy can’t even get back up from a single kick.”

He claws at his haori, unexpectedly feeling feverish. His mind is foggy and he can’t get a clear view of you. Huh…Is she…is she a Pillar?

His head slumps to the floor and before he goes out cold, ”Ugh…I think I heard four of my ribs break…”

A small sparrow chirps angrily at you before landing onto the yellow haori of its master. Inosuke tosses his weapons aside and heads over to boot Zenitsu awake. Oh, but you were convinced he wanted to battle you earlier.

Rolling your eyes at how fickle the children were being, you look down.

”You. What’s your name?”

”K–Kamado Tanjirou,” he murmurs. His cheek rubs against the soil. ”You—you said something before, something about a deal.”

”I did, didn’t I?” You press your heel onto his leg, leering over him. ”So how about this. If you let me kill the demon inside that box of yours, it will remain confidential until you or your friends disclose it.”

”Lying to others is excusable sometimes, [Name],” Sabito scolds, ”but don’t ever think that it’s alright to lie to yourself.”

”It helps me feel better, though.”

”You’re just like Giyuu, [Name].”

You laugh. ”Is that bad, though? I like Giyuu!! Heh.”

Almost immediately does Tanjirou shake his head. ”No! I can smell that you’re lying. The person inside this box is more important to me than my own life! I won’t let you kill her! Besides, she hasn’t killed anyone…!”

You sigh, flicking your blade. ”Yet. But please remember that I have been in service far longer than you. My job is to kill demons. Failure to comply with my words will only get yourself killed instead. Would you like me to recite the Demon Slayer protocols for you?”

”You’re afraid of being wrong. You’re afraid of getting hurt.”

”I don’t understand though, Sabito. If it makes me feel okay enough to keep fighting, there’s nothing wrong with that, right?”

“Foolish, is what it is. It’s going to crash down on you like a wave—a tsunami. The self-deception, false sense of securities, holding yourself back. You can’t keep telling yourself you’re strong and you’ll persevere no matter what. That attitude will get you killed if you’re always thinking you’re trying hard enough–if you don’t know your own limitations.”

…

Footsteps approach from behind. Soft and light, it’s very faint – barely audible and coupled with the darkness of the night. Any ordinary human wouldn’t be able to take notice of it, but you’ve been instructed to employ all of your senses ever since you first picked up a sword.

”Hurry up! Take Giyuu and run!” Sabito bends his knees slightly and holds his sword with both of his hands. He assumes a stance in front of you two defensively, but you want to pull him by his clothes and flee with him. ”Don’t just sit there! I’ll take care of this!”

Giyuu is breathing heavily and clutching the side of his head. There is a constant stream of blood trickling down his cheek and eye, causing you to react by placing your hand over his to cease the bleeding. The mask crafted by Urokodaki threatens to slip off as you shake your head furiously.

You don’t want to leave. Just earlier, Giyuu was attacked by a demon who pounced on him from the trees, slashing the skin near his left eye. Your vision had turned red as you hacked its limbs off and swiftly sliced the head, but it left you breathless.

Giyuu was fading in and out, though it was barely the first day of the Final Selection. Sabito was playing hero and triumphing over every demon that crossed his path. If this keeps going on, neither of you would make it out alive unless you recovered from your wounds somewhere safe.

There was another person who stood by your side, trembling in fear as he peeked between you and Sabito. The peach-haired boy had given him orders to take you away, but detecting the tension between you two made him falter.

”No! I’m going to stay and fight with you!”

The frigid evening air was scorching and unbearable as you inhale and exhale rapidly, unable to stabilize your breathing from the anxiety and terror that arises.

‘Calm down. If I can get all of us to cooperate, we will be able to overcome this.’

The monster’s pace is sluggish and heavy, each step resulting in a loud thud to echo throughout the thick and murky forest. Over the disturbance, you can hear Giyuu give out the tiniest whimper, one you could just barely make out. You stroke his hair to reassure him that you were by his side, gliding through the unexpectedly silky strands of his hair, whispering little words of comfort to slow his breathing. He jolts when Sabito shouts at you once more to escape without him.

Your shadow encases Giyuu as you stand over him, grasping the handle of your sword.

”I-it’s just one demon. If we work together, we can win against it somehow.”

Looking over to the nightmare heading over to the four of you, the sight of his countless arms wrapping around his body left you mentally and physically astounded. Your legs shook like a leaf as your grip around your sword loosened significantly. You were sure your shakiness made Giyuu increasingly jittery.

It bothered you how the demon’s eyes seemed to glow so brightly, tearing through the dark like the full moon above. It bothered you how bulky and veiny his entire body was, how his blood red fingernails contrasted with the olive green shade of his skin. The way his arms flail about as he used his hands to trudge atop the mucky terrain, eyes curved upwards with glee and excitement at the sight of some form of sustenance in this isolated woodland.

He covers up a squeal with his hands as he stares at the masks the three of you wore, “I can’t believe that dastard Urokodaki sent three of his students to feast on!”

You watch as he rolls his eyes up in pleasure, muscles tensing as he continues to cackle. It sickened you down to the bones. Who gets off by devouring children who’ve just reached their teenage years?

“Shut up!” You unsheathe your sword, pointing the tip to the demon, “Who said that you’re gonna eat us? We, the disciples of Urokodaki, will destroy you!”

You let out a yelp when Sabito pushes you back with the hilt of his blade, sending you to almost fall on top of Giyuu before you twist your body to land at the ground next to him.

“[Name], just listen to me for once! Don’t be stupid. There’s no way you’re going to defeat him when you haven’t even mastered all the techniques Urokodaki taught us.”

You push yourself back up.

“But we can! Sure you may be stronger than all of us generally, but you can’t handle it by yourself. If we work together…” you trail off when Sabito dismisses you, leaping towards the demon.

”I’m not risking both your lives.”

He changes positions so fast that all you could observe was the blur left behind by his movement.

“Sabito!” Giyuu’s free hand is outstretched in the direction of his friend, and you see the boy from earlier seize Giyuu’s arm before taking ahold of your hand, steering you away from the skirmish.

Sabito veers around one final time while in the air, initiating his breathing techniques. From afar, you can see how remorse is conveyed in his eyes, the way he seems to ask for forgiveness in his smile. Your vision wobbles and distorts his image into nothing but haze and fog.

You attempt to dig your heels into the ground to stop the male from tugging you farther away. Your elbow meets his ribs and you accidentally kick Giyuu in the process. You can’t bring yourself to mutter an apology or stop thrashing. Blinking back your tears, you could see his lips move as clear as day, murmuring a single word.

“Run.”

He’s begging.

You stop struggling. Giyuu is left questioning why amidst the steadfast hammering of his head.

“Hang in there, Sabito! I’ll come back for you, I swear it!”

…

Run!

Hurriedly, you snatch up Tanjirou by his collar and hoist him aside to shield him, whipping your blade up and clashing with another of your kind. A Slayer–but this time you recognize him as the person who you offered your Pillar seat to.

”Giyuu?” You don’t believe your eyes. You’ve seen hundreds of people with the same color hair and the same dull eyes he bore which led you to believe that you were mistaken, but the haori was a sure sign of who he was. ”Is that you? What are you doing here?”

Tanjirou looks up in relief at the name. Inosuke gives up on reviving his comrade, wondering what the hell is going on with so much noise.

”[Name]…?” His somber blue eyes look incredulously at you, from the pattern of your scarf to your sword. He takes notice of how his hands tremble from your strength, something that had never occurred before. You seem to have matured in appearance also; how he didn’t have to tilt his head down to meet your eyes anymore. How your face and physique became slimmer from the strict and rigorous routine of slaying demons.

You also take a few seconds to look at him, steel grating together.

He didn’t change much ever since you last saw him. You could really only point out how his hair grew longer and perhaps a couple of centimeters to his height, but you don’t remember.

Focus.

You shove him away with your weapon, skidding back and taking ahold of Tanjirou once more. The Pillar eyes the way you’re handling him, how you urge your blade towards the box on his shoulders.

”Don’t just stare! You can feel it too, right? The demon inside this?” you clink your blade urgently onto the wood, vying for his attention. As a Pillar, there was no doubt he sensed it.

Demons are the terrors of mankind, both of you agreed to before.

After a moment, he nods. ”I’ve known for two years.”

And you didn’t know about it? Obviously, you were busy for the past couple of years with missions nonstop, but… it just felt wrong. You couldn’t put your finger on it.

“You’re joking, right? Giyuu.” This couldn’t be his choice. That dumb kid with that scar on his forehead had to have brainwashed your friend or something.

Demons are evil. They’re merciless. Insatiable. They slaughter countless innocent people. They killed your family. Sabito’s family. Giyuu’s older sister. Sabito.

So why in the world would he permit one to blend away with the humans?

”This is a violation of the Demon Slaying Corps conduct, Giyuu. We can’t let a demon live with them! As Slayers, we are trained to protect the humans with our lives. What would happen if that girl attacks an unsuspecting victim? Think about it. When has there ever been a demon who lived in harmony with us?”

Tanjirou makes a noise, presumably to receive approval to speak.

”Quiet, boy. The adults are speaking here.” He shrinks back, sweating profusely. Not a whimper or sound breaks out of his lips in fear of your wrath and bitterness. ”Not only have you desecrated this sacred forest by luring demons here, but you dare bring one willingly?”

Giyuu steps forth, sheathing his sword. He wouldn’t be needing it anymore.

“[Name], stop. It’s a pledge our mentor and I agreed to make.” You almost drop your sword but quickly tightened up your grip. Did that imply that this child trained with your instructor? Nevermind that, but Urokodaki of all people sheltered a fiend in his run-down lodging? ”If his sister ever attacks a human, we will compensate for it with our lives.”

You bite back the words you desperately want to say.

(”You’re going to cast away the life your sister sacrificed for you? The life that Sabito died for? For a mere demon we can kill right now?”)

Yeah, there was no way you were going to say that. Not to the person you’ve been yearning to meet, the person you fell in love with and only realized it when you departed from him. You don’t want to be away from him ever again. Not when it’s like he’s dangling off the edge of a cliff, wet and slippery from rain, merely holding on by the tips of his fingers. Not when he takes a glance down, believing that plunging into the shallow and murky river water was better than living with guilt and shame of surviving death multiple times–surviving at the expense of those he cared for dearly.

Tears rush out of your eyes like the raindrops that drip from the roof after a stormy day. Damn these feelings! You were supposed to be furious at Giyuu, not getting sentimental and mushy over your past!

Tanjirou lets out an oomph when you drop him in favor of clearing your tears away. The males, save for Zenitsu, are appalled (maybe not Giyuu, he knows how you are) by how quickly your mood shifts, though they are glad for your change of heart. Inosuke doesn’t quite understand all the details, but suddenly he’s craving for a piping hot meal to fill up the bottomless pit that is his stomach. And a good night’s sleep included, preferably.

An old crow totters to your feet, inclining its head. You do the same without much of a thought, sniffling. Was this Giyuu’s crow? It’s shivering for whatever reason. Was it because of its age? Why did he get an old crow? Wait, that doesn’t matter.

”You and me, we need to talk.” Returning your blade to its sheath, you stomp over to Giyuu and snatch his hand in yours. Turning back, you look at Tanjirou, ”I’m not escorting you back to a village. Tell your crow to navigate you to a Wisteria crest estate or whatever. Better hurry up or your friend may never wake up.”

Apparently, the boar wasn’t too happy about the

”GAH! HEY!!” Inosuke tosses his head back, roaring and nearly prompting his mask to slip off. ”Come back here, we still need to decide who’s the strongest! I’ll crush—”

”Oh, um–Thank you so much!” Tanjirou interrupts, adjusting the box to his front then slinging Zenitsu onto his back, causing the unconscious male’s head to knock into Tanjirou’s shoulder. The red-haired boy stumbles from the weight bearing down on his injuries before gathering himself together, nodding to both you and Giyuu before heading out the other direction. He looks back, ”Come on, Inosuke!”

Inosuke glances back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth–before growling and stampeding to where Tanjirou had went.

You do the same, hand held tight around Giyuu’s and leading him through the forest. His hands were large and warm, perfectly clasped around yours even if his grip was loose.

“I can’t believe this,” you take a sharp turn and exit out the forest, bustling through the shrubbery.

The leaves that scatter around you are dancers and their stage the wispy breeze. Fluttering without care, twirling on instinct, the sharp whistle of the breeze guiding them to the ground as the music dies down. Drop, drop, drop. Few nestle in your hair and take the form of adornments, and others to Giyuu’s.

“Do you even know what you’re going to do when Master finds out? Can you even explain your decision of leaving his sister alive?”

He gazes into the ice of your eyes, silent when you squeeze his hand tighter, begging for a response.

”Do you still hate me?” you ask. His hand grows clammy in yours. ”I know that I haven’t been a good friend to you ever since Sabito died. But this is serious, Giyuu. What good comes out of this when the aftermath is either death or expulsion from the Corps? Do you really want to give up on life so badly?”

Though there is no clock nearby, you can hear and feel the seconds tick by as the deafening silence trails on. Tick, tick, tick. Time is endless, people say. Was it true, though? When people die, time ends for them. In no way would it resume. It’s simply impossible.

He tears his eyes away from yours, suddenly finding the ground appealing. You wonder if he feels uncomfortable with your hand-holding. You don’t let go regardless.

“When I received the message from Oyakata-sama that I could have challenged you to the Water Pillar seat two years ago, I refused. I felt that maybe your life could change for the better if you had a higher pedestal to stand on when you’re so dedicated to defeating demons. Don’t you remember how Sabito slapped the shit out of you when you thought you were better off dying? You hate it when people throw their lives away, but why are you so convinced that she wouldn’t attack a human? You might die, so why? Tell me.”

Being a Pillar was a challenge you constantly strived to succeed in. Not only was it an esteemed and honorable position granted to the most formidable swordsman of the organization, but each Pillar had a certain Breath Style that sets them apart from the others. You had considered developing another Breath Style that derives from the Breath of Water, but you decided to create original techniques, using the tools you had already.

You wanted to be part of a group that recognized your power. Wanted. That was when you were still training with Urokodaki, Sabito, and Giyuu. But these accumulations of events, from Sabito’s death to your separation from Giyuu and all in between, led you to realize that power wasn’t all you needed. Instead, to cherish what you already achieved.

You’re powerful, you’re talented, and you’ll cherish those aspects. But you won’t let it overcome what you truly love.

“Because…” You quiet down your thoughts. ”Even when his sister was in a starved state, wounded, and had little stamina from turning into a demon, she still protected Tanjirou. She was different. Most would take advantage of an unconscious human right under their nose.”

Never had you heard of a demon denying human flesh in your life.

”You weren’t imagining things, right?” you tug him closer, eyes wide and skeptical, though you cannot recall a moment where Giyuu lied to you. ”I’ve never heard of a case such as that. But if there’s never been a fatality in two years as you said, then…”

There will most likely never be one. Unless her brother was endangered by another human, or if she needed their flesh to replenish the stamina she’s lost. Still, Tanjirou promised Giyuu that he wouldn’t let it happen.

You slump down your shoulders in defeat. There was no point in mulling over it when you had already allowed them to escape. You couldn’t take back your decision. Not only would it look bad on your character, but Giyuu would probably despise you soon after.

”You win. And guess what? You have my word that I won’t tell Master.”

”Why?” he asks.

”Don’t question me. Aren’t you glad?”

He nods.

”Good.”

You shiver as the wind picks up once more. Giyuu gently releases your hand and shrugs off his haori, ignoring your protests as he swings it above your head and drapes it onto your shoulders.

“I don’t need it. I’m not cold.”

“Still–”

You quiet down when he reaches over to tug you to his chest. Your nose collides into the rigidness of his muscles, dumbfounded by his actions.

Giyuu positions his hand onto the back of your head and encircles his arms around your waist, adjusting your head so that your ear laid above his heart.

You fiddle with the material of his dark uniform, hesitant on returning the embrace.

Despite how reserved and gracious he sounded, his heartbeat said otherwise. It was almost like he had been jogging without rest before pulling you into a hug, but you don’t mind. Similarly, you could hear your own pulse ringing in your ears by how nervous you felt.

This is normal. It’s comparable to those novels you’ve read in the past where friends cry and snuggle into their friends’ arms, whom they have not seen in a while.

”I’m sorry, [Name].”

You don’t move. ”For what?”

”I was naive of your emotions after he passed. It was selfish of me to distance myself from you when you were also grieving. If I hadn’t gotten wounded badly that day, we would all still be together and he would claim the title of Water Pillar rather than me.”

You bring your hands to his sides, hovering over the folds of his attire.

”Yikes, so there’s no odds of me even becoming the Water Pillar? Hurtful, but I get it,” you jest lightly, but you’re aware that wasn’t what he was insinuating. ”Though if anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I treated you harshly and expected you to overcome his death in terrible means. I abandoned you and never delivered any letters to you when you were probably worried about me.”

He shakes his head. ”I didn’t, either.”

”You’re right.” you wrap your arms around him fully, nuzzling your face into his chest. Your voice is muffled by his clothes when you speak. ”But we forgive each other, right?”

”No.”

You jerk your head up to meet his soft eyes that deviated from his sharp features.

”Not until you promise that you’ll be with me from now on.”

Since when did he get so bold?

”Was it like torture for you these past few years?” he doesn’t respond to the question so you continue. ”It was for me. That look you gave me when I left you hurt a lot. But I couldn’t do anything about it because of the mission I was assigned—the one with the two orphans.” You shift against his body, legs tingly from standing still for too long. ”Anyways, how is he doing right now? I heard he became a Pillar two years ago.”

”Tokitou?” You snap your fingers in response, thinking back to the air-headed and apathetic teenager you found with Amane and her children. ”He spaces out most of the time during the day.”

That’s all he has to say?

”Oh. Well, good for him. It’s remarkable for someone of his age to satisfy the Pillar requirements with so little training. I’m a little envious of him.”

The kid was wounded terribly when you arrived at his residence, clutching the hand of his lifeless twin brother. You don’t know much about him since you were appointed another task by Kagaya the day after, but you were still curious about what became of him.

”Who cares, though. My dream to be a Pillar is far behind me now.” You hum, thinking back to his statement from a few moments ago.

”Not until you promise that you’ll be with me from now on.”

What the hell was that? If anyone else had heard him, they would assume he was proposing to you.

Was it just you or was it getting hotter and hotter? Perhaps the body heat from Giyuu and the warmth of his haori was making your senses all fuzzy.

”Okay.” you fasten your arms tighter around him, rooting him in his spot. Your mind is spinning and your cheeks are flushed. ”Okay, I promise. Master is pretty lenient with team arrangements, so I don’t doubt that he’ll allow us. Perhaps it could be just like the old times where we protected each other, ate, and trained together. Would we be unstoppable? Maybe, but who knows. It wouldn’t be so bad though since I like you. Heh.”

It felt like you’ve said this before, maybe in the past to him. Déjà vu, probably.

He thanks you, but doesn’t say much after. You couldn’t see it in the night, but his complexion reddens, believing that you hadn’t given him your attention earlier.

”I heard you. Now, let’s go rest somewhere before reporting to Master tomorrow at dawn.”

Like a flash of lighting, you nudge Giyuu away and take his hand–haori swaying to and fro along with the motion–steering him to the Wisteria crest manor you had Tanjirou visit.

#chew writes #request #sabito x reader #giyuu x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #tomioka giyuu x reader #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kny spoilers #kny #giyuu

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the-starless-sky · 4 years

Text

The Cat’s Whiskers x Akan Yatsura / “JUSTICE” voice drama part 2

Exams ended...!! Hello I am alive...!! And very (not) ready for “PRIDE”...!! T_T

“JUSTICE” Part 2

Yohei: So, you bastards… under whose orders did you come here?

Mobs: We’re not working under anyone! That kinda thing doesn’t matter, just cough up the cash, fuckin’ bastads!!

Iori: Tch… so they’re just punks.

Oi, we’ll let you off today, so get out.

Mobs: Don’t look down on us! If ya don’t give us the cash, y’all gonna get hurt!

Yohei: You’re letting them go? You really have that soft spot on you.

Iori: There’s no helping it. No matter what you do, guys like these won’t even get you 1 yen.

Mobs: Makin’ a fool out of us...! You shitheads! Urrah!!

(Mob punched Iori)

Yohei: You bastard... what the fuck did you just...?

Iori: Leave it, danna. I’m fine.

Yohei: Don’t think you can leave unscathed after laying your hands on Iori...!

Mobs: Bring it on, get me!!

(Yohei and the mobs fight)

(The mobs fall down and cough in pain)

Iori: Danna. That’s too much.

Yohei: Huh? Oh. Sorry.

Iori: Well, then...

(Iori forcibly pulled one of the mobs up)

Mobs: Ahh... ah!

Iori: You bastards. Learnt something, didn’t you?

If you pick a fight with real yakuza like us, you ain’t getting away just like this. Understand?

This time, we’ll let you off like this. Be grateful, won’t you?

Mobs: Y-yes... we’re very sorry...

Iori: Haha. Even so, danna. You really overdid it.

It’s gonna take lots of time to clean this up.

Yohei: Sigh. Small fries making us waste so much time.

Jeez, what a pain.

Saimon: He-eh, you were very rough, weren’t you, Yohei.

Yohei: Well, ‘cause that time I didn’t have any brains but physical strength.

Zen: If it’s physical strength, then I, too...!

Cough. Then, where does the maneki-neko comes in?

Iori: Wahahaha! Oh yeah, right.

Then, a few days after that uproar, we got called to Boss’s office.

We went in high spirits, thinkin’ we’re gon’ get a reward or something, but...

Yohei: Jeez, that damn boss messing around like that...

What the hell’s with giving us this maneki-neko!?

Iori: Hahaha, our guess were wrong, huh.

Yohei: We protected the shop’s name and loaded customers, so he could’ve given us something more... you know!?

Iori: Well, it’s probably simply because he didn’t have anything prepared. After all, those guys suddenly came to our face by themselves and then left just like that. Seriously, it feels like we were wheedled out of it cleanly.

Yohei : Well, when he just up and smiled like that, as he said, ‘I have high expectations for you’, there’s really nothing else we could say.

Iori: Right.

Well, we’ll answer his expectations, quickly get lots of money, and make the boss, us, and the Suiseki group, everyone all merry.

Yohei: Haha, yeah. Let’s do it. I’m counting on you, maneki-neko.

Iori: Ya shoulda said ‘partner’ right there, like, ‘I’m counting on you, Iori’!

Yohei: Oi, oi, you’re talking like Boss now.

Iori: Haha. How was it? I look like Boss when I talk like that, don’t I?

Yohei: No way. Stupid.

Iori: Haha.

Yohei: Hahaha.

Saimon: So that kind of thing happened, huh, Yohei? I didn’t know at all.

Zen: To think that that maneki-neko was a gift from the Boss...

Iori: How’s it!? A real good story, ain’t it?

Zen: Yes. A lot of things happened in the past, wasn’t it.

Iori: Well, that’s ‘cause we’ve been workin’ together for almost all the time.

Yohei: It was a story from really long ago, though.

Iori: Come of think of it, at that time there were those Alter Trigger Company guys too, weren’t there?

Yohei: Hah. What unpleasant connection, seriously.

Iori: Seriously an unpleasant connection, it is.

Yohei: Hm?

Iori: Danna, ya also heard of it recently, right? The Alter Trigger Company name.

Saimon: Why do you guys... that...?

Iori: Hahahaha! If ya work in this industry, ya gon’ hear lotsa stuff.

Yohei: And? How much do you know?

Iori: Nah, I dunno the details, but I only know that this bar’s ‘bout to be bought... and who’s gonna buy it.

Yohei: As expected, news travels fast to you.

Yeah. To protect this place, we have to get the one billion.

But this and that have no――...!

Iori: And that’s the deal. So, y’know anything about Paradox Live and Alter Trigger, danna?

Saimon: What are you trying to say?

Iori: The sudden buy-out uproar and the opening of Paradox Live. Plus, the winning prize is exactly the amount of money that y’all needed, one billion yen. Don’tcha think it’s too good a scenario for mere coincidence?

Saimon: In short, Alter Trigger Company is connected to all of it... is what you’re trying to say, is it?

Iori: Who knows?

Saimon: But... No, don’t tell me... that kind of thing is...

Yohei: We’re... being manipulated?

Iori: ‘Sup with that... seein’ that reaction, y’all don’t seem to have any info.

Saimon: ...

Iori: Seems like it’s a fruitless effort on our part. Well, let’s just say I told y’all ‘cause of our old friendly relations.

There’s somethin’ ‘bout this competition. Do your best to be careful.

Yohei: Oi, what the hell’s up about this event!?

Saimon: Anything is fine―please tell us whatever you-

(Bar door opens, and the bell rings)

Ryuu: We’re hooome!

Reo: Big Bro, we’re back!

Yohei: Sigh... seems that the adults’ time ended.

Hokusai: Hey... you said you guys keep cats... where are they?

Shiki: Oh... sorry, we made it so they can’t come into the shop. Right now, they’re probably asleep upstairs...

Hokusai: Even though I brought lots of setarias... [1]

Reo: Don’t be that dejected, Hokusai. Instead, seems like Satsuki will play with that!

Hokusai: Satsuki... really?

Satsuki: Ha? Who the hell wants to play with some wild grass?

Oi, Hokusai, stop looking at me with eyes full of expectations!

Reo: Can’t help it! Then, guess the demon king will do! Heere, come here~!

Ryuu: There’s no way Ryuu will wag his tail to such a grass...

Woof, woof~ Let’s play, let’s play!

Hokusai: Ryuu. Paw.

Ryuu: Woof!

Hokusai: The other paw.

Ryuu: Woof!

Satsuki: No, I told you it’s a setaria! The fuck’s with ‘woof’!?

Hokusai: Ah.

Shiki: U-um, inside of the shop, please don’t...!

Saimon: Haha, it’s alright, Shiki. We’re already closed, after all.

Zen: We’re very sorry that our kids...

Yohei: I feel like I kinda understand your feelings...

Satsuki: Thanks for the food, Big Bro! Raimen-tei’s ramen’s the best today, too! And the change...

Iori: S’kay, just take it, Satsuki.

Satsuki: Seriously!? Is it really ok!?

Iori: Let’s say it’s a tip for printing that one time. ‘Kay? [2]

Reo: Ah, what? Only Satsuki!? That’s unfair! Me too, me too!

Satsuki: Haah!? You didn’t even do anything!

Reo: Haah!? What are you saying? A cute kid like me has a value by just being there. Unlike Satsuki! Right, Shiki?

Satsuki: HAA!?

Shiki: H-hey, let’s not fight...

Satsuki: You ugly! Shiki, back off!!

Shiki: A-ah.... you’re so mean, Satsuki-kun...

Zen: Aah, they’re at it again. I’m sorry.

Oi!! What the hell are you guys on about!!?

(In the background.)

Reo: You’re frustrated, aren’t you~? For not being popular!

Satsuki: Oi!!!

Zen: How many times is it already!?

Saimon: They seem like they’re always fighting.

Iori: Haha. They’re what you call somethin’ like ‘the closer you are...’! [3]

Ryuu: By the way, what were boss and the others talking about?

Saimon: Hm? Oh, just small talks.

Ryuu: Reeeally? Hmmm? Ah, I know!

You guys were talking about the people standing behind everyone... right!?

Saimon: ...!? Ryuu...!?

Reo: What is it, what is it? Talking about ghosts?

Ryuu: No~ It’s a-dults’-ta-lk!

Iori: Oi. Whaddaya mean? Ya know somethin’?

Ryuu: Know? About what? The ingredients of konnyaku?

Iori: Sonny, don’t be boring and say sloppy things.

Ryuu: To pack... [4] like, packing chikuwa and cucumber?

Saimon: I’m sorry. Could you please not press this child with questions?

Iori: O-oh... yeah, ya right. Sorry, sorry.

This sonny... he knows somethin’?

Ryuu: Hee-eey, if ghosts do appear what do we do~?

Satsuki: Hey, Shiki, is this guy always like this? Even in the ramen shop he just keeps blabbering on whatever comes up on his mind.

Ryuu: Shiki’s arm is really white and boney, huh!? Calcium!!

(Ryuu bites Shiki’s arm.)

Shiki: I-it hurts! Ryuu-kun, stop biting me!

Ryuu: Munch, munch...

Reo: Seriously, how could you live together with that? Ain’t it crazy?

Shiki: No, I’m already used to it...

Ryuu: Woof, munch, munch!

Satsuki: Nothing is scarier than routine...!

Shiki: But, he also has a really kind side to him...

Yohei: Oi, until when are you gonna bite Shiki’s arm!?

Ryuu: Oooouch! Master’s bullying me! I’m against violence!

Hokusai: Shiki, are you okay? It hurts, didn’t it? Good boy...

Shiki: Thank you...

Saimon: Sigh...

Shiki: Owner...?

(in the background.)

Reo: Come here, good boy, good boy.

Ryuu: Woof, woof!

Reo: Here, here, here, and there!

Ryuu: Woof, woof, woof!

Shiki: Um, are you okay...?

Saimon: Hm? Why?

Shiki: It kind of looked liek you were spacing out... I wondered if you were tired...

Saimon: Ah... I was just thinking. Thank you for worrying, Shiki. You’re a kind child.

Shiki: N-not at all.

(Iori clapped his hands twice.)

Iori: Well then, it’s already late. Let’s call it a night.

Reo: Yeeees~!

Zen: Even though we said we’ll only have a glass, in the end we stayed for a long time.

Saimon: It’s alright. Come again whenever you want.

Hokusai: It’d be nice if I can meet the kitties next time...

Yohei: Yeah, you can even bring them home if you want.

Hokusai: Really...!?

Reo: No, no. We already have Mr. Monkey in our house, right? By the name of Satsuki!

Hokusai: I see...

Satsuki: Oi, oi, oi, Hokusai! The hell do you mean by ‘I see’!?

Ryuu: Bye-bye, thank you, come again!

Shiki: We’ll be waiting for your next visit.

Zen: Yeah, thanks for the food!

Iori: Hey, brats! Wontcha get outta here fast!?

Reo: See ya~!

Hokusai: Hehe...

Satsuki: Let’s come again!

Iori: Danna. I’m different from when I’m still chasing after you.

Now, these guys’re my family.

So, to protect ‘em too, I can’t lose on stage.

I ain’t gon’ give ya mercy even though we’re old comrades.

Yohei: Heh. Bring it on.

‘Cause we also can’t lose.

No way i’d lose the bar and my comrades.

Iori: Well then, the next time we meet’s on the stage!

Yohei: Yeah. Just you wait.

(Iori walks out of the bar.)

Yohei: Oi, you’re Gazen, aren’t you?

Zen: Yes?

Yohei: Him... Iori, look after him carefully, wont you? I’m counting on you.

Zen: Yes. You don’t even have to tell me that.

Yohei: Heh. I see.

(Zen walks out of the bar.)

Yohei: Well then, now you all go and clean up! Move quickly!

Shiki: A-ah, yes!

Ryuu: Eeeeh?

Saimon: You too, Yohei.

Yohei: Yes, yes, understood, Owner-sama.

Then, Shiki, you clean. Ryuu, get the dustpan.

Shiki: Yes!

Ryuu: Understood!

Notes

[1] Neko-jarashi, setaria or foxtail, the grass you play with cats with.

[2] I'm actually not sure this is his exact words, but anyways it's a tip for doing some kind of chore.

[3] As in, 'you're so close you fight'or 'the closer you are the more you fight with each other'.

[4] Tsumaranai means boring, but it’s also the negative form of tsumaru (to pack).

#paradox live #drama cd translation #translation #the cat's whiskers #akan yatsura

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thestarssystem · 3 years

Note

aa hello i've written this like 10 times but it always got extremely long so i'm gonna try to keep it shorter hdbznj also i just wanted to say its okay, take ur time ! i hope u had a nice time on ur break :] also i'm glad you're fine with these asks cause i always end up rambling and stuff that makes the asks really long dgzbzj

i've been thinking about the possibility of a persecutor as well, but i wasn't really sure because i was like "why would the first alter that i directly hear/that presents themself to me be a persecutor" so ty for the response :]

& the thing about giving away information would make sense, the panic specifically started when i was feeling very ,, apathetic but on the upset scale? if that makes sense? and wanted to vent about it on a subreddit about venting, and i don't even remember what caused the panic, but i assumed it was either a. i started getting memories of the events i was trying to vent about (emotional flashback?) or b. it was just social anxiety acting up again because i knew i would do as much as writing it all out but i would never post it, but i think it could've been a mix of both + what you suggested (also quick note: when someone called me fox they also said stuff like their dms are open if i need to vent etc etc and i don't exactly remember what caused the panic to spike there? but i think i was just happy-ish someone cared and then i think something else happened in my mind that could've influenced me in a bad way (e.g self h4tred) but honestly i don't remember </3)

but another thing is, i've done that a bunch of times. for example i post neg posts / vents / rants a lot sometimes on a different website (on an account where i feel comfortable on, though i always delete them like 6 seconds later) and i posted one on the same subreddit on friday because i was panicking, i barely remember what happened when i was panicking though, and i kind of blocked everything out because i was too focused on the trigger (school). the voice hasn't been back for a while now so i'm starting to think it could've just been my imagination? though it could've been i'm just not able to hear it anymore / before that, or that it's not always there (which might/probably is the case if it wasnt me imagining stuff)

also, i have a few questions if thts okay :]

this might be a weird question, but is it normal to like- have a good relationship with alters almost right away, despite the fact it's your first time directly interacting? or have alters front even though you've never heard them / they've never interacted with you? i know those are two very contradicting statements, though i have no idea how to explain it further </3

one last thing: yesterday i had like 2 mental breakdowns because i got triggered by some stuff and i was up until like 3am (i went to bed at exactly 4am) and i did some stuff like switching up my profile, i was really tired and had been d1ssociating for hours after i got triggered. when i woke up today, and went on my profile, it all felt very ,, weird? like, it kind of caught me off guard when i realized my profile was different because i barely had memory of doing so (i could recall it though, it was just very very fuzzy and in one of them i felt like i wasn't even the one doing it). i just wanted to ask, could the d1ssociation have caused that, or is that just a normal thing for when you're tired?

sorry i didn't want to send just a regular update on things so i waited a bit until i had questions shxbxj hope you're doing well :]

- fox (i was a bit anxious because it was getting long so i kept them a bit short, so if u need me to elaborate on any of these i'd be glad to! i don't mind /gen)

oo wait i really quickly wanna make a small suggestion to you. Just something that we do a lot! If you have snapchat, i suggest creating a private story with yours as the only account that can see it and just use that to rant! It makes it easier to document for later (if you want) but also keeps it private and allows you to rant about what you’re feeling and get that nice moment of release haha.

Anyway, on to your actual questions:

So I would say that a lot of the time, it’s normal to not have a good relationship with alters right away. A lot of the time they’re kind of like strangers and you have to take the time to get to know them and be friends with them. For my system, we didn’t know of each other until we started talking about OSDD, but now I would consider most of us friends haha. Also, the first time that Daniel fronted was completely out of the blue. Granted, we didn’t know OSDD/DID at this point but there wasn’t even a slight sign that he was there haha. I would say that’s also fairly common. Maybe because they don’t want to talk to you, don’t need to talk to you, or are just too nervous to talk to you before hand.

Just normal dissociation could have caused the foggy memory about your profile, but the lack of sleep definitely didn’t help lol. When the brain is sleep deprived, it doesn’t have the energy to encode actions into memory like it normally. This is completely normal and happens all the time to people who are sleep deprived. However, dissociation (even without a switch) can also cause that weird “hazy” feeling. Because dissociation (without switches) normally causes a person to feel disconnected from themselves and from reality, it can cause processing of those memories to be a little wonky at times. In this state, you can still remember vaguely what happened, but may not recognize it as your own.

Also, you don’t have to worry about the length of your asks, Fox c: If you need more space to write then write your heart away. I’ll still give the same attention to your asks, regardless of length.

Stay safe xx

-Clover

#osdd protector #osdd positivity #did osdd #actually osdd #osdd problems #osdd alter #osdd community #osdd support #osdd system #osdd #dissociative system #dissociative alters #other specified dissociative disorder

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tournesolia · 5 years

Text

Chaos Lineage Yuma Chapter 1 Translation

Place : Scarlet mansion – Vacant room

Yui : I choose Yuma-san...

Yuma : What ? Me ? Well, I'm the one who turns out to be the best guard here

Fine with me, I accept. But you're gonna lend me extra help in return

Yui : Okay...

Yuma : Now that we're settled, I've got no choice but to take you... Hey, wait for a bit

Yui : O-Okay ?

*some time passes

Yui : (It's been quite a while since everyone left the room...)

(Should I just stay here ?)

(I imagined incredible things like being chained in jail or being tortured since it's a battle to become the supreme ruler...)

(That's a relief)

*someone suddenly enters the room

Yui : Kyaaa... !?

Yuma : Ah ? Why are you freaked out ?

Yui : Y-Yuma-san... ? Well, you didn't knock at the door before entering...

Yuma : Why would I do that ? I'm your guard so I enter your room whenever I like

Yui : I-I think that even if you're my guard, you can't enter my room without permission...

Yuma : How annoying... Looks like you don't understand your position yet

Yui : What... ?

*Yuma gets close to Yui and lifts her

Yui : Yaah... ! What are you doing all of a sudden !? Please put me down !

Yuma : Tch... Stop struggling. You want me to drop you ?

Yui : But you suddenly... !

Yuma : Shut up

Yui : … !

Yuma : Looks like you guessed it wrong, I'm not gonna have you sit like a doll

You're gonna... give me plenty of help

Yui : … !

(I was over-optimistic after all. I can't get away with this without a price. I have to do things from now on...!)

Yuma : Now, let's go

Yui : (Even if I struggle, I can't run away from him)

(Where exactly is he bringing me to...?)

Scene change : Scarlet mansion – Garden

Yui : (… T-This place is...)

Yuma : Look, we arrived. Stop dozing off and get off

*Yuma drops Yui

Yui : Kyaa !

Y-You didn't have to drop me all of a sudden... !

Yuma : You stay here. Don't do anything weird other than what I instruct you

Yui : Um, where are we... ?

Yuma : My vegetable garden. It's not big enough, though

Yui : Vegetable garden... So this is a vegetable garden

And... what are we doing in a vegetable garden ?

Yuma : Haa ? To grow vegetables and harvest them, duh. What else do you think we do ?

Yui : I-I thought you would take me to jail and torture me or find the way to become the supreme ruler...

Yuma : Heeeh... If you like that sort of thing, I can make you my pet

Yui : N-No thanks !

Yuma : Haha, you're getting all red. I don't have such bad hobbies, even if you ask me that badly

C'mon, take this

Yui : … A basket ?

Yuma : I'll pass the vegetables I harvested to you so hold it firmly

*Yuma leaves

Yui : (He began to check on the vegetables. It seems he really does farmwork...)

(I see, if he guards me while working in the fields, the best thing is to bring me here...)

(I'm ashamed of myself for panicking and imagining things...)

Yuma : We can harvest this area already

Yui : (He's skilled... What a surprise)

Um, do you always take care of the vegetable garden ?

Yuma : Yeah

Yui : I see...

(So Yuma-san takes care of the vegetable garden... It feels somewhat strange)

(He looks violent with his large build and not good with delicate work)

Yuma : Tch... You're staring at me. You got something to complain ?

Yui : T-That's not it... !

Um, is this one of your hobbies ?

Yuma : … No

Yui : Eh... ?

Yuma : It's not a hobby. But... I feel that I have to do it, sort of

As if I have always done this for someone...

Yui : (Yuma-san is troubled about something ? I can clearly hear some things he says until now, but...)

Yuma : Aah, shit ! Ignore that ! I don't have to tell you in the first place

Yui : O-Okay...

(Does he have an important reason... ? He's working very seriously)

(Yuma-san may be kinder than I thought)

Yuma : Tch... Hey, Eve !

Yui : Yes !?

Yuma : Are you gonna starin' at me forever !? Help me out a little !!

Yui : Eh ? But...

(You asked me to stay here...)

Choice 1 : Obey (white roses)

Yui : (Well, it's not good to just stand here watching Yuma-san working...)

(It may distract me as well if I move my body)

Is there something I can help you with ?

Yuma : Oh, showin' interest ? You face it well

Yui : I would feel sorry for not doing anything. So what should I do ?

Choice 2 : Complain (black roses)

Yui : Didn't you tell me to stay here ?

Yuma : So you won't do anything unless I tell you to ? You're well-off, huh

I asked you to help me out so you should obey quietly

Yui : … Understood

(T-That's preposterous...)

– End of choices

Yuma : Look, those are the vegetables to harvest right now

Yui : (Wow, the basket is full...!)

Yuma : Put them in that box. Sort them by size to make it easier to use later

Yui : U-Understood

(Oh, it's heavy...)

Yuma : You're unsteady ! Don't make a single scratch on my vegetables I'm proud of !

Yui : O-Okay...

(I can't believe I've been taken away by vampires and the first thing I do is farming...)

(But I don't feel out of place at all. I wonder why...)

*some time passes

Yui : Phew...

(It was very hard but moving my body made me feel a little better. All the vegetables look delicious)

(Huh ? Vampires are eating them, right ? So they also have ordinary meals ?)

Yuma : That should be enough. Now, let's just bring them for today's dinner

Yui : Do you and your brothers eat vegetables ?

Yuma : Well duh

Yui : I see. I thought vampires' meal is only blood...

Yuma : No, we only need blood to survive. But we're also hungry for other things because of the past

Yui : The past ?

Yuma : Yeah, after all, we were--

… ? What was that... ?

Yui : (Yuma-san began troubled again...)

Yuma : Shit, I don't get it well ! But we're eating meals, got it !?

Yui : I-I got it !

(W-Well, humans eat sweets even if they aren't nutritious to them... So it must be something like that ?)

(But to think he works so hard in the fields even if he doesn't need to eat vegetables...)

(Yuma-san is strange)

Yuma : You... What's with that weird look ?

Yui : Eh ? Well... I thought it was strange that you grow vegetables even though it's not necessary...

Yuma : Aah ? It's not necessary ?

Yui : (Ah... The atmosphere changed...)

Yuma : You don't know that painful feeling when you don't eat ?

Or you're laughting at us vampires for having meals ? For a tool, you're making a fool of us !

Yui : T-That's wrong ! I didn't... !

Yuma : Shut up with your complains !

*Yuma grabs Yui

Yui : Ouch... !?

(He lifted me from the ground... !? He's incredibly strong... ! I can't push him away at all !)

Yuma... san... !

Yuma : If me growing vegetables is so funny to you...

I'll eat a vampire-like meal as you wish

Yui : (He will... suck my blood...!?)

No... ! Stop !

Yuma : You'll realise in a snap how it was a mistake to make me rage that much

Yui : Hiiii... !

Yuma : Ha... I had low expectations since you have a poor-looking body but your smell isn't bad...

*sucks blood

Yui : Ah... Hmm...

(His fangs are... He's really biting me...!)

(I can see that he's sucking my blood. A-At this rate, he's going to kill me...?)

Yuma : Hmm... Haa... So sweet... Maybe even more than sugars. Looks like I'll enjoy it...

Yui : (H-He already finished...?)

Yuma : Hey, it's not over. 'Cause I haven't drunk from here yet

Yui : No... No more... !

Yuma : That expression's nice as well... It's pretty arousing... *sucks blood

Yui : (O-Ouch... His fangs are piercing me many times... I don't understand well anymore--)

(As it is... will I become... a vampire's meal...?)

(But... When his giant body's near me... I strangely calm down... Why...?)

*flashback

Yui : (…!?)

*end of flashback

Yui : (What was it just now ? It was a familiar place...)

*Yui gets other flashbacks of differents places from the Mukami house

Yui : (Uuh... I'm having a... headache)

*end of flashback

Yuma : … Haa... Your blood is the best. Looks like I can't stop

Hm ? Hey, what's up ?

Yui : My head... AAAAAAAAAAAAH !

*screen goes blank

Yui : (Ah... Why...?)

(Why did I forget ?)

Yuma : Hey, hey ! Tch... Did I suck too much ?

Yui : Ah... Yuma-kun...

(Why didn't I remember until now ?)

(Yuma-kun's my beloved one... He's someone precious to me, and yet...)

Yuma : What ? Have you gone crazy or something ?

If you become weird, that Reiji guy's gonna be noisy

Yui : (Reiji-san... ? That's right, why Yuma-kun is in the same family as Reiji-san and the others ?)

(I woke up in a church and was brought in this mansion...)

(I'm supposed to live with the Mukamis as usual. Since when am I in such a place ?)

(Where am I in the first place ?)

Yuma : Hey, we should go back soon. He'll sermon us if we're late at dinner

Yui : W-Wait, Yuma-kun ! What on earth is happening !?

Yuma : Haa ?

Yui : Where are we ? Who exactly this mansion belong to... ?

We're not in Kaminashi Town, right ?

Yuma : The heck are you talking about ?

Yui : (… ! Yuma-kun ? Could it be his memories are...?)

H-Hey... Do you remember Ruki-kun, Kou-kun... and Azusa-kun ?

Yuma : Ah ? I don't remember then but I know their faces well. After all--

They're all enemies who compete for Eve

Yui : N... No way...

(Enemies ? That... That can't be !)

Did you forget Ruki-kun, Kou-kun and Azusa-kun !? And you had such a good relationship...!

Yuma : Stop telling me sickening jokes ! Me, getting along with that Ruki bastard ? That eldest son dude from the Oranges ?

Even if we let the enemy part aside, he's a bad cocky guy. I dunno what he's thinking to himself

Kou and Azusa are those Violet brothers, huh ? They get on my nerves when they sneak in

Yui : (No way... Yuma-kun is...)

(For Yuma-kun to speak about his brothers like that...)

Yuma : What's with that pale face ? We're done here so let's return to the mansion

Yui : (Does Yuma-kun happen to have his memories altered ?)

(No, all the others are like that as well. Did they lost their memories just like me before ?)

(How did this happen !?)

Yuma : Hey, if you keep that shitty attitude towards me, I'll seriously get mad

Yui : P-Please... Let me check one last thing...

Don't you remember that we're lovers either... ?

Yuma : I'm your lover ?

Yui : That's right... We talked about various things and overcame a lot of difficulties together--

(We understood each other, and yet...)

Yuma : Okay, look...

*Yuma grabs Yui hard

Yui : Ouch... !?

(It hurts... ! My shoulder... He won't let go !)

Yuma : … Don't carry your jokes to extremes. I fucking hate annoying women like you

Yui : … !

Yuma : Your true intentions may be to beg for me to let you escape but that ain't gonna happen

Yui : I-It hurts... Yuma-kun, please... Let me go...

Yuma : This will teach you a lesson, don't say fucking nauseating things like that ever again

*Yuma drops her

Yui : Ouch... !

(The place where he grabbed me is numb... I can't feel it)

(Besides, Yuma-kun's eyes are ferocious and... scary. Like the time when we just met...)

Yuma : I'll tell you this so you don't misunderstand

I may be your guard but that's just because you're Eve

You're a tool to become the supreme ruler. You have no more value than that

Yui : … Yuma-kun...

Yuma : If you get it, don't say weird stuff ever again

Yui : …

Yuma : Don't keep silent. Say “Understood”

Yui : … Under... stood...

Yuma : That will do. C'mon, stand up and get ready. We're going back to the mansion

Yui : … Okay

*Yuma leaves

Yui : (An unknown land. Everyone having strange memories. A battle to become the supreme ruler--)

(What exactly have I gotten into...?)

Chapter 1 : End

#Diabolik Lovers #diabolik lovers translations #diabolik lovers chaos lineage #mukami yuma #Komori Yui #chapter 1

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 4 years

Text

tuesday again no problem

it sure has been a tuesday

reading: nobody here wants to read planetary science papers. i don’t even want to be reading planetary science papers. i do not care about geology i am not even sorry

watching: snow trail (1947) bc I am very fond of Toshiro Mifune. baby’s first movie! he looks VERY handsome! he does a really good job! non-spoiler highlights of this movie include Can’t Go Tell On Us To The Cops If You’re Naked, Holy Shit This Phonograph Is Great, and Mountains Can Sense Intent. it is a very fun way to spend an hour and a half, especially if you’re an outdoorsperson. why anyone would or does climb mountains is beyond me, but it is fun to watch a dramatized version. there’s a fucking BONKERS avalanche scene in the first twenty minutes.

listening: this breaks my Cover Theory, the theory in which i posit that the only good covers are very spare acoustic versions with one person and a guitar in their bedroom (extra bonus points if they’re interrupted by some sort of animal) or totally different arrangements that alter the whole mood. this is just a solid less synthy cover by a gay lady! i love it! i immediately put it onto four characters’ playlists! i am not immune to new jersey nostalgia, a state in which i did not have a very good time and have very few positive memories of but which is definitely warmer than this freezing hellstate!

youtube

playing: i have many and complex feelings about Dead Money, @morrak has mostly been the recipient of these late night ramblings. this Fallout: New Vegas DLC is a very good, very focused study about the concept of letting go in general and also letting go of all the terrible things about the lost pre-apocalypse world. mostly, it is almost as satisfying to kill Dean Domino as it is House. also, you can hold this character’s hand and it’s a very important very emotional moment of gay solidarity. all i have to do is the last boss battle and i’m dragging my feet bc it’s genuinely stressful.

making: haHA I HAVE FRESHLY LAUNDERED THINGS TO SHOW OFF, READY TO GO IN THE MAIL!!! two out of these three people are on this hellsite but check it very infrequently so I’m rollin some dice here. i love making the FUCK samplers bc they’re very small and stitch up very fast and they’re funniest when u find the most elaborate frames possible. the patches are more working QR codes that go to Never Gonna Give You Up. not quite as fast to stitch up, and way more finishing work involved (not entirely happy with how well i finished these, but they’re done), but also very satisfying.

#tuesday again no problem

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ao719 · 5 years

Text

In Another Life (Part 1)

This is a part of a TRR A/U called Cordonians Gone Wild created with @speedyoperarascalparty , @leelee10898 , @cocomaxley and myself. Thanks for the laughs ladies!

Summary: The group imagines how life might be had one moment altered the course their current lives took.

Tag List: @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @laniquelove-blog @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @rainbowsinthestorm @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lynne1993 @coldcollectornight08 @be-still-my-aching-heart @kennaxval @hopefulmoonobject @cgd03 @emichelle

The group all sat around the bonfire pit at Drake and Pam’s cabin talking amongst one another, exchanging remember when stories. Drake, Anitah, Rashad and Maxwell all began talking about the social season and the engagement tour shenanigans they used to get into, way back before the squad had all known one another.

“Could you imagine how different things would be had we never found Tariq?” Maxwell asked.

The girls all gave Anitah and awkward look, knowing that was a sore spot. “You mean if we didn’t find him and bring him to New York to clear my name and Liam went through with the wedding to Madeline?” Anitah quirked her brow.

Liam tightened his arms around her as she sat on his lap. “Can we not talk about this again?” He eyed Maxwell.

“Well...honestly though,” Drake began, “if you think about it...none of us would be here right now in this exact moment,” he tossed back his whiskey, his hand rubbing Pams back.

“It’s true,” Rashad nodded.

“What do you mean?” Leo asked.

“Well, I’m assuming had he not been found...Anitah would have gone back to New York?” Rashad looked at her and she nodded her head yes.

“And, if Anitah went back to New York, no wedding for her means I never would have come here and met Leo,” Alicia looked at him pouting her lip.

“And I wouldn’t have formed a friendship with her and gone out with her for drinks that night I first met Drake...” Pam looked down at her husband.

“And no wedding means I never would have met you guys in New York when you were dress shopping and been asked by Anitah to be a bridesmaid, which means no going to Cordonia and I never would have met Rashad...” Genevieve looked up at Rashad giving him a sad smile.

“Liam would be married to Madeline,” Leo snorted, Liam shooting him a look.

“You’d still be the playboy prince galavanting around with god knows who,” Liam retorted.

“Again...Madeline,” Leo laughed shaking his head as Liam flipped him off.

“I probably wouldn’t be in Cordonia at all,” Rashad spoke up. “Not with how the company was running back then.”

“I’d be a lonely stable boy,” Drake chuckled as Pam smiled down at him.

“Things would be so, so different...” Maxwell raised his brows as the reality of it all hit them.

***************

(Cordonia)

Pam walked from Reginas quarters finishing up her session with her. Her internship was coming to end and so was her time in Cordonia. As she walked down the hall she looked up to see Liam.

“Good afternoon, your majesty,” Pam curtsied to Liam.

“Pamela,” Liam smiled. “How is Regina today?”

“Quite well. Actually, today was our last session.”

“Oh, really? So, what are your plans? Will you be staying in Cordonia?”

“I’m afraid not. My internship is over in two weeks. I’ll be heading back to Chicago. But Dr. Remus will be available if anything comes up and Regina needs additional support.”

“Ah, I see. I’m sure Isaiah will be sad to see you leave. Thank you for all your help though. You really made a difference in Regina.”

“Oh, Isaiah and I arent really...anything.” Pam dismissed. “But I’m glad I was able to help. It’s always hard losing someone. And please tell...” Pam fought rolling her eyes, “Queen Madeleine, I said goodbye.”

Liam slightly chuckled noticing her expression. “Will do, Pamela. Take care.”

She smiled and turned walking away. Her eyes were on the papers in her hands when she felt her shoulder bump into someone. She looked up just as they kept walking, seemingly in a rush.

“Sorry,” they grumbled as they walked and she looked up catching the back of someone’s brown hair.

“No...my fault...” she shook her head and kept walking.

Liam walked to his study after coming from lunch with Madeline where he was forced to discuss tea party arrangements for a tea ceremony he wouldn’t even be attending. He and Madeline had been married just over six months, and the forced marriage was no easier now than it was back then. He was miserable, and he missed Anitah. He wasn’t quite sure how after a years time she could still consume his thoughts the way she did, but she was forever there, etched into the forefront of his mind. The times they had together, her smile and laugh, the way she loved him. He was never going to find what he had with her with anyone else.

***************

(New York City)

Anitah ran to her room from the shower and threw in her jeans and shirt. “Shit!” She mumbled to herself looking for her books. She threw her hair up in a ponytail once she found them and slipped on her flats running out the door.

“You’re still here?” Alicia asked getting ready to head to the bakery.

“Yes! I overslept! I was up late finishing that paper! I gotta go!” Anitah bolted out the door of their apartment and ran to the streets hailing a cab.

It had been one year since Anitah chose to stay in New York after they arrived on the engagement tour for the UN Gala. No where near to finding Tariq, as much as it hurt, she didn’t see the point of going back to Cordonia. She couldn’t stand by and watch Liam, the man she loved, marry someone else. After a tearful goodbye with Liam, she walked away and made her way back to her apartment that she shared with Alicia.

A few months after being back, she began to pick up the pieces and try and move on. She was accepted back into Fordham to finish her degree. She often found herself thinking of Liam, wondering how he was and thinking about Drake, Maxwell and Rashad as well. She missed all of them, but keeping in contact was too hard as it only made her think of him more. And she often found herself wondering if he ever thought about her.

Alicia made her way to her family owned bakery to begin her work day. It had been a couple of weeks since her and her boyfriend Mark had broke up and she was feeling better that day than she had in a while. She knew she deserved better than him and the way he treated her, and she wondered if she would ever find anyone who would be able to make her happy. She was beginning to think the guys in New York just weren’t going to cut it.

Anitah made it back to their apartment later that evening, Alicia already home. She walked in and plopped on the couch next to her friend who handed her a glass of wine.

“Thank you,” Anitah took a big gulp.

“Paper?”

“Got an A...and I made it just on time for my morning class,” she dropped her head back exhausted.

***************

(Chicago, 2 weeks later)

Genevieve ran around the condo making sure everything was cleaned up. Pam was arriving home today after her internship in Cordonia was finished and she couldn’t be more excited to have her friend back home.

She heard the key slide into the lock and she squealed. “PAMMY! You’re finally home!”

“Oh, Gen!” Pam grabbed her bestie pulling her into a tight hug, tears filling her eyes. “I missed you so much! I even missed your morning grumpfest.”

“I missed you too! Never leave me again! So...tell me all about Compton.”

“Haha...Cordonia, Gen. Pretty sure I didn't see anything like Compton there.”

Genevieve giggled. “Tell me about it! You were a Queen’s therapist! What was the palace like? Any cute Princes available?”

“It was strange. I mean a country still being ruled by the monarchy? The King was wonderful, his wife was not,” Pam groaned. “Found myself surrounded by alot of good looking nobles.”

Genevieve gave her a knowing look. “Uh-huh, tell me about the cute noble that rocked your world. I know that smile!”

Pam rolled her eyes. “Rocked my world? Did not happen. But I spent some time with one guy that was nice. Nothing spectacular.” She shrugged.

“Did you get to go to any fancy balls? And wear a Cinderella gown? Please say yes!”

“Oh my god, you are like a small child in a grown womans body,” Pam snorted. “I went to a couple smaller balls with Isaiah....and yes he bought me a fancy Cinderella gown. It was ridiculously tacky.”

"Well, this child is taking you out tonight. Tacky ball gown optional. I met a super hot guy and he wants us to meet him at Howl at the Moon. So go get dressed,” Genevieve pulled her into another hug. “I’m so happy you’re home. I feel complete again.”

***************

(Cordonia)

Liam, Drake, Leo and Rashad walked off the basketball court wiping the sweat from the faces after playing a grueling game. They all picked up their waters downing them practically in one gulp.

“You two could have played,” Rashad panted as he caught his breath, looking at his cousin, Isaiah, and Maxwell. “We could have just done three on three.”

“That’s alright,” Maxwell waved him off. “We showed up late.”

“So, Liam, are we all riding on the jet with you to New York for the UN gala?” Rashad asked.

“Yes, if you want to. Madeline won’t be attending. Which I am...completely ok with,” he shook his head rolling his eyes.

“Ah, trouble in paradise, little brother?” Leo snorted clapping Liam on the back.

“This was never a paradise, Leo. More like a nightmare I can’t seem to wake up from.”

“Well, since we’re all taking Liam’s jet, would you mind if I send your jet to bring in Pam for the weekend from Chicago?” Isaiah asked Rashad who nodded and shrugged.

***************

(Chicago)

Pam sat on the sofa in her and Genevieve’s condo sipping a glass of wine. Gen walked in the door a short time later coming home from work that day.

“Hey! How was work?”

“Stupid. Work is always stupid.”

“Bad day?” Pam snorted as Gen shot her a look. “Well...what would you say if I asked you to come to New York with me this weekend? Would that make your bad day better?”

Pam quirked her brow with a smirk. She explained how Isaiah had called and told her that he and the other guys were coming into New York for the UN Gala and his cousin offered to send his jet to pick them up and bring them into the city for the weekend.

“I thought you said you and Isaiah weren’t really a thing...” she chuckled.

“We’re not...but a weekend trip to New York?” Pam shrugged. “Why the hell not.”

“Um...private jet to New York City? Count me in!”

“We take off Friday morning at 7am.”

***************

(Cordonia)

Later that night the guys rolled up to the tarmac to board the royal jet for the overnight flight to New York. Maxwell and Isaiah both took their seats in the back immediately getting ready to sleep for the long flight. Rashad, Leo, Drake and Liam took the four seats facing each other and began talking as the plane took air.

“Don’t drink too much this time, Leo,” Liam warned.

“Hey, if those dignitaries can’t handle their liquor that’s not my problem. They’re the ones who challenged me at the last event.” Liam shook his head with a smirk.

As the flight continued, Liam stared out the window, lost in thought, knowing that he was going to be in the same area as her. Drake must have been able to tell what he was thinking about, clearing his throat and getting his attention.

“So,” he spoke in hushed tones trying not to wake Rashad and Leo, “Are you going to try and get ahold of Brooks while we’re there?”

Liam let out a heavy sigh and shook his head no. “It’s been a year, Drake. She’s had to of moved on by now, I mean...a girl like her isn’t going to stay single for long. She’s probably happy...” he trailed off as the bile rose in Liam’s throat, “with someone else.”

***************

(New York City)

Anitah laid in her bed that morning staring up at the ceiling listening to the already bustling city outside her window. She didn’t know why, but Liam seemed to be on her mind more than ever the last couple of days. She needed to keep her mind occupied, and having a day free of no classes she planned to do just that. She got out of bed and walked to Alicia’s room.

“Get up,” she jumped on Alicia’s bed eliciting a groan from her.

“Whyyyy,” she grumbled.

“Because were not going to sit around and drown in our sorrows today. You need to stop sulking over Mark already.”

“Says the girl who still sulks a year after your break up.”

“Exactly! We both need to move on! So come on, we’re going to out shopping and we’re going out tonight.”

Alicia side eyed Anitah and let out a breath. “Ughh, fiiiine!”

***************

Pam and Gen arrived in New York later that afternoon and spent the day walking around the city with Isaiah before he needed to head back to the hotel to get ready for the UN Gala. He took them back to the hotel before heading back to his. They were planning on hanging out there until they heard from Isaiah after he told him that he and Leo were going to try to convince a couple others to leave the gala early so they could check out New York City’s night life.

Later that evening Liam and the other guys stood in the ballroom at the UN Gala, Leo already going shot for shot with the dignitaries. Liam stood looking out the floor to ceiling window that had a view of Central Park off in the distance, remembering the last time he was here, sneaking out of this same ballroom with Anitah and they walked to the park.

That was where she told him she was planning on staying and not coming back to Cordonia. He took a breath, his mind wondering where she was, how she was, what she had been up to this past year. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Leo giving him a lopsided grin.

“Li...lets get the hell out of here,” he chuckled. Liam smirked shaking his head. “Come on, you made your rounds. The other guys and I wanna go out!”

Liam thought for a moment looking at his brother. “Alright, lets go.” He thought why the hell not.

He followed Liam to where Maxwell, Drake, Rashad and Isaiah we’re standing by the door waiting. Isaiah pulled out his phone calling Pam telling them they were going out.

“Hey, guys where do I tell her and her friend to meet us?” Isaiah asked.

Maxwell was scrolling on his phone. “Ah ha! This place, it says it’s the hottest club in town...”

***************

“Anitah! Come on, you’re taking forever!” Alicia stood out in their living room waiting for her. Anitah came from her room a moment later.

“Hakuna your tata’s,” she chuckled. Alicia smirked and handed her a double shot. “Pre-gaming?”

“Yup! We’re going out tonight for the first time in...I don’t even know how long. We’re gonna have fun!” They clinked their glasses together before tossing back the shots.

“So, where are we going? Did you decide?”

“Yup! We’re going to Kismet.”

#trr #trr fanfic #the royal romance #choices trr #trr mc #trr liam #king liam #liam rhys #liam x anitah #drake x pam #rashad x genevieve #leo x alicia #cordonia #new york #chicago

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