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larryfanficwriter98 · 3 years

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Chapter Thirteen

*Fake It Until You Make It Real*

This can be very emotional and even triggering to some people however there is nothing bad that happens except a child having an emotional reaction to a shitty situation.

Sunday morning Harry woke up early but had taken one look at Louis curled up against his chest and had promptly pushed any thoughts of leaving the bed out of his head. As if sensing Harry's change of plans Louis curled up closer to him in his sleep. Harry kept am arm around Louis' waist as he grabbed his phone and lowered the brightness down so it didn't wake Louis up. He had a message from Gem and when he opened it he saw screenshots of his and Louis' social media profiles and a message under them.

Now that we've met him and definitely approve I think it's time to make it official don't you little bro? Go on and slap it on social media, make sure to post pictures with his butt visible. 😉👌

Harry shook his head but knew his sister was right. It was time to make it social media official and so he headed to Facebook and updated his relationship status to engaged and sent a relationship request to Louis. He then went to Instagram and updated his bio so it said he was engaged to Louis. After that was done he locked his phone and grabbed the remote turn the TV on keeping it at a low volume as Louis slept.

"Well this is nice. You should definitely stay in bed more often." Louis said thirty minutes later as he looked at Harry.

"I'm thinking about it. Though I might need some persuasion." Louis leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Harry's lips before he laid back down and cuddling closer to him. Harry honestly just enjoyed the cuddling, it had been a long time since he has cuddled someone. He knew there was a good portion of people awake downstairs, could hear their voices, but he had no desire to get out of his warm bed.

"We should get down there. We're being bad hosts." Louis said

"I know." Harry groaned before he was trying to motivate himself out of bed. It didn't work right away but eventually he was rolling out of bed and getting himself ready for the day. Louis doing the same a few minutes later. Louis stole one of Harry's sweaters and Harry grinned as he watched the way the extra fabric moved around as he brushed his teeth while Harry waited for him to finish. He also not so subtly watched him bend over the sink to spit out the tooth paste. Once he was done they headed downstairs together to see everyone was awake.

"Good morning. Jay and I made breakfast for everyone. Should be still warm." Anne greeted them

"You didn't have to do that. I was awake you just had to come and get me." Harry said

"Yeah but Louis looked comfortable when I saw you two so I didn't want to wake him."

"Harry gets out of bed every morning without waking me. I'm sure he would have managed." Louis said sending a glare towards Harry as he headed into the kitchen.

"He doesn't like it when I leave the bed. Says I take all the heat with me and it forces him out of bed." Harry told them as he sat in the oversized chaise while Louis headed into the kitchen.

"So we never did get to talk about the wedding. Have you picked a location? The flowers? The time? The honeymoon? Y'know Brazil is beautiful I know you loved it last time we visited as a family. Remember you wanted to stay at the pink place."

"I'm pretty sure Harry wanted to live there when he was twenty." Gemma said

"Louis and I have decided to take the kids on a holiday with us, a family vacation. As soon as the judge approves it which my lawyers says there isn't any reason why he wouldn't, I'll get it ran by the school. I think we've decided on Orlando there's Disney, Universal, SeaWorld, and other big things to do with kids and such. Then during spring break or the summer holidays we'll take a week away together somewhere else."

"I haven't agreed to that yet." Louis said from the kitchen

"I'll hogtie you." Harry told him, "Don't worry I'll have him in a hut on a beach without kids eventually. Or in a hotel right beside the Iguazu Falls in Brazil or Argentina."

"Or a summer trip with the kids." Louis said

"Or a private trip with a promise of loud uninterrupted-"

"Harold." Louis warned making their families laugh when Harry put his hands up in surrender.

"I was going to say playtime."

"That's even worse."

"How about the hokey pokey in our birthday suit?" Louis laughed loudly

"If you have to pokey the hokey then you're clearly doing it wrong Harry." Anne said

"Maybe we like to pokey the hokey mother." Harry said throwing a balled up piece of paper at her as Louis walked into the room shaking his head. He sat across Harry's lap so his back was pressed against the arm of the chaise. His plate of food piled high sat on his lap and his mug of tea was set on the coffee table.

"For the record if you ever poke me we're getting a divorce." Louis told him

"You ruin all of my fun. You won't have sex with me with our mothers here and you won't let me play hokey pokey with you naked. Next you'll be telling me I can't wear a lace teddy around the house with the kids home."

"Absolutely not." Louis said shaking his head as he cut into the pancake, "at least not while the kids are home." Harry laughed

"You're restricting my teddy wearing time. Geesh. I think I purposed too soon." Louis stabbed a piece of pancake and offered it to Harry watching as he leaned forwards and ate the piece off the fork.

***

After breakfast Louis was in the kitchen with Anne and Jay as they cleaned up from yesterday and breakfast. A loud banging came from the door causing them to jump from the suddenness.

"Are you guys expecting company?" Anne asked

"Not that I know of." Louis said as he dried his hands and headed to the front door. Louis unlocked the bolt and pulled the door open. He pulled his eyebrows together confused when he saw a police officer, Hannah, and her boyfriend standing there.

"Are you Mr. Styles?"

"No, but I am his fiancé why?"

"Can we come in?" Louis hesitated looking back for Harry but he still wasn't inside so he nodded and allowed them into the entry way closing the door behind them, "Does your fiancé still have his daughter here?"

"Yes of course. He has her for the week per her mother's....request."

"That's a lie I told him he could have her for Halloween, but he had to bring her back home Halloween night. I gave him last night out of kindness, but now I still don't have my daughter and I'm starting to worry about her. I have texts between him and I saying he wouldn't give her back. It's why I called the police." Hannah said tearfully, Louis laughed unable to help himself.

"First off Harry has it on video of you telling him to keep her for the week or not at all. Secondly Harry hasn't had his phone on him all morning. I do because he asked me to go get for him from the bedroom but then he went outside with the kids so he never got it from me. Thirdly any text Harry has gotten I haven't responded to or looked at because it's none of my business. Fourth call the number you were texting because I guarantee it won't ring Harry's phone."

"Hey what's going on?" Harry asked jogging up to them, "I thought you were going to America this week?" He said looking at Hannah.

"Mr. Styles, Miss. Carpenter claims you were suppose to take your daughter back home last night and that you are threatening her through texts of keeping your daughter from her."

"I don't even have my phone on me and Hannah and I don't text. Everything is on the phone or in person. Our lawyers demanded it since anyone could be Hannah in my phone and anyone could be me in hers. Any communications we have is to be recorded and sent to our respective lawyers. This isn't the first time Hannah has tried to charge me with parental kidnapping."

"I'm going to have to make sure that's the truth. Hand over your phone."

"Wait you're not even going to call the number she was texting. Make sure it was his phone in the first place." Louis asked the officer paused and looked at Louis before he turned to Hannah who looked offended by just the idea of it.

"Excuse me. We are here for my daughter."

"I have to investigate both sides of the story. Find out who is lying. Give me your phone please."

"No we are here to get my daughter from Harry and take her home not for you to turn around and accuse me just because my ex boyfriend's fuck toy spoke. Besides he shouldn't even be involved in this conversation."

"Louis is my fiancé and has every right to be here. So unless Daniel is leaving, Louis stays. Look I can show you the video where Hannah told me I have her for the week." Harry said but the officer shook his head

"It won't matter. She has custody and you have no legal visitation or right to have her in your house if the mother doesn't want her here. Unfortunately that means she can press charges for parental kidnapping if you don't let her take her daughter." The officer said looking like he didn't want to be the one telling Harry those words, "I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to go get your daughter and let her mother take her home."

"Okay." Harry said softly

"Okay?" Louis said shocked

"Louis please. If I fight or argue it can look bad on me. The judge won't look at the body cam footage and see a father wanting to see his daughter for more than a day, he's going to see a big man yelling at, not only a woman, but the mother of his child. That is all he is going to see. That is all they ever see because she has sob stories prepared to make me look bad. I have lost a lot of cases because I fought too hard, because I raised my voice, because she cried in my presence. I can't do anything except comply I can't have a parental kidnapping charge while fighting for visitation." Harry said gently, "can you please just go get Maddie for me?" Louis wanted to argue, wanted to yell and curse at Hannah because how dare she stand there smirking while she took Harry's daughter away just because. How dare she call herself a mother. But Louis nodded pressing a quick kiss to Harry's cheek and headed to the glass sliding doors watching Maddie and Freddie running and laughing on the playset.

"Maddison can you come here for a minute?" Louis asked just loud enough to be heard over the laughter filling the backyard. Maddison and Freddie looked his way before they ran up to him with large smiles and red faces, "come on Maddison, Freddie stay out here with Zayn alright?" Louis said as he felt Zayn squeeze past him with a reassuring squeeze to his shoulder.

"Come on Freddie bet you can't run faster than me." Louis owed Zayn a nice dinner as he watched Freddie run off yelling after him. He gently led Maddison inside the house and closed the glass door and led her to where Harry was with Hannah, Daniel, and the officer.

"I will have these screenshots and body camera sent to your respective lawyers so they each have a copy for the court meeting." The officer was saying

"Thank you." Harry said shaking his hand before he turned to them, "hey princess you have to go with your mom."

"What? Why?" Maddie asked looking between Harry and Hannah, "you promised. You promised I'd stay with Daddy all week." Maddie said looking at Hannah

"Yes well I've changed my mind now come on we need to go. We still have to pick up the cookies from the shop for career day tomorrow. Remember."

"You're not going to career day tomorrow?" Louis asked looking at Harry who clearly knew nothing about it.

"Mom says daddy has to work." Maddie told Louis

"I'm off tomorrow. What's career day?"

"It doesn't matter Daniel is going. He is with her everyday after all. Much more her dad than you are. Come on Maddie we are leaving." Hannah said grabbing Maddie's wrist only for Maddie to yank it out of her grip.

"YOU LIED! YOU SAID YOU CALLED DADDY AND HE SAID HE COULDN'T COME! IM NOT LEAVING! IT'S NOT FAIR!" Maddie yelled

"You are leaving right now come on." Hannah snapped grabbing Maddie's arm again.

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO! NO!" Maddie screamed fighting out of her mother's grip, "DADDY! DADDY PLEASE! SHE SAID A WEEK! SHE PROMISED!"

Louis had tears in his eyes as he watched this beautiful little girl fall apart in a way only a child in a such a bad situation could. She was crying, screaming, kicking, flailing, doing everything she could to fight off Hannah. Louis looked at Harry and could see the pain in his face as he tried to make her let go of him when she hugged his waist begging him to keep her.

"Maddison that is enough. Stand up and let's go." Hannah said

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Maddie screamed as she was dragged out of the house, "DADDY! DADDY PLEASE! SHE PROMISED A WEEK! SHE PROMISED! DADDY! LET ME GO! LOULOU! LOUIS! LOUIS DON'T LET HER TAKE ME! LOUIS PLEASE!" Louis took a step forward fully prepared to go to jail to stop Maddie's pain but a strong arm wrapped around his waist and kept him there.

"Harry let me go. Harry let go of me." Louis hissed pushing his arm off of him and running outside, he pulled Maddie into tight loving hug before Hannah could put her in the car, "It'll be okay. Hush darling it'll be okay. Relax. Deep breaths. There you go. Easy breathing...there you go." Louis whispered gently as he rubbed her shaking back.

"She promised. She promised a week."

"I know but it's not your daddy's fault, sweetie. Now tell me what you want your daddy to bake for your class."

"C-C-C-Cookie dough cup-cupcakes." Maddie said between sniffles, hiccups, and heavy breaths from her crying and screams.

"Okay. I'll tell him. He loves you and so do I. It'll be okay." Louis stood up and kissed her head then without even turning towards Hannah he headed back inside the house.

Harry was sitting on the floor crying just as hard as Maddie had been a few moments ago. Louis slid into his lap and hugged his neck feeling his arms wrap around his waist and his sobs wet the sweater Louis was wearing.

"Don't you ever hold me back when my child yells for me like that again." Louis said as gently and a softly as he could so Harry knew he wasn't mad at him. Harry didn't respond, not that Louis expected him to, he just sat there holding Louis as he cried and Louis sat there holding Harry rubbing his back and trying to do whatever he could to soothe him. They sat there well over an hour before Harry stood up and headed upstairs with a soft click of a door closing. Only then did Louis let his own tears fall as he sat between Anne and his mom.

****

Harry only came down briefly to say goodbye to their families and he tried to apologize to Louis' family, but his mother out a stop to that immediately. When they had left Harry had kissed Louis' cheek then headed back upstairs. Louis understood that Harry wasn't in the right space to be out so he didn't mind doing the last few things that needed done before Freddie came back. Zayn had texted saying he was feeding Freddie then would bring him back and from there they would decide if he should take him overnight. So yes Louis definitely owed Zayn for today. Louis had just sat down when the front door opened and Zayn and Freddie came in.

"I'm sorry." Louis said looking at Zayn

"Don't worry about it. I can't even imagine what you two are feeling."

"She yelled for me. Cried and screamed for me. I felt useless. Harry hasn't left the bedroom except to say goodbye and he tried to apologize to my mom. I can't imagine it. I can't- my heart hurts." Louis said stubbornly wiping his eyes before Freddie saw

"Do you want me to take him for the night and take him to nursery? I don't mind and it wouldn't be the first time I kept him an extra night."

"Do you mind? It's just Harry will want to make Maddie's cupcakes and-"

"Say no more. Go take little man to say goodnight to Harry and I'll pack him a bag." Louis nodded calling for Freddie and heading upstairs with him as he told him he would be staying with Zayn.

"We're going to tell Harry goodnight okay?"

"Okay." Freddie said cheerfully opening the door and running to the bed climbing up on it , "hi Harry Papa is letting me stay with Zayn on a school night so I came to say goodnight to you before I leave."

"He is? That sounds like so much fun. I bet Zayn will let you stay up an extra hour if you ask him." Harry said

"I bet so too. I'll miss you though but I guess I'll just see you tomorrow because we live here now so I won't miss you too much." Harry chuckled

"I hope you have a lovely time tonight Freddie and you give this to Zayn. Put it in his hand and yell no takebacks and run away got it?" Harry said as he grabbed a bundle of 50s and handed it to Freddie.

"Okay."

"Tell him to buy art supplies or pizza or beer or a night buddy. It's his to do with what he wants. No take backs alright?"

"You got it Harry. Goodnight."

"Goodnight squirt." Louis chuckled as he followed Freddie downstairs where he did as Harry told put the cash bundle in his hand and yelled no takebacks then ran outside to the car. Louis could hear Harry laughing from upstairs as Zayn glared at them.

"Louis I can't-"

"You can and you will. Look I promise you that is the lowest bundle in the house so if you don't take that one he'll just give you one that's bigger. Seriously just go on and get out of here and have fun and spend it on yourself mister." Louis said pushing Zayn out of the house and locking the door behind him laughing as he watched Zayn glare at him through the window. He waited until they had left before he headed upstairs and saw Harry was sitting up in the bed now rubbing at his face with his sweater.

"I'm sorry. I just...I couldn't socialize anymore."

"Hey it's okay. Trust me my family didn't even care you were up here after that. The only reason they stayed so long because we all cleaned up so you didn't have to."

"I know and I feel bad. They were guests they shouldn't-"

"My mom was feeling useless not cleaning something, she was ready to beat you if you didn't let her help. She didn't mind. No one did. It's okay they still think you're amazing."

"Okay...alright...tell me what I gotta do." Harry said rubbing his face again.

"She said she wanted cookie dough cupcakes."

"Figures. I made them a few months ago for her birthday, I saw her a few weeks after her birthday and I baked her a cupcake of her choice. I need to run to the store real quick but I have mostly everything here."

"Okay. What do you need me to do."

"Relax. I need you to relax. Lay in bed, go to sleep, lay on the couch, whatever it is, just relax. You've done enough today."

"I want to help."

"And you will when I need you to so for now take a nap because this might take a few hours."

"Alright. I'll nap on the couch."

"Good." Harry kissed his forehead as he stood up and they headed downstairs together. Louis made up his spot on the couch and laid down while Harry got the recipe and checked his ingredients. He gave Louis a kiss before he headed out of the house and to the store. Louis fell asleep shortly after that as Titanic played on the TV.

****

Making the cupcakes didn't take as long as Louis had feared, but he was definitely regretting it Monday morning as he sat in the passenger seat of the Murano while Harry drove to the school. Louis had explained to Harry that career day was an all day event, hence the snacks, a few students were assigned a good a beverage like Maddie and a few others were assigned desserts. A few others were assigned drinks and lunch and stuff like that. There were thirteen students each year one class so the forty cupcakes were more than enough for Maddie's class and they would have extra to bring home which Louis was excited about. When they got to the school building Louis walked with Harry to Maddie's classroom. Maddie was sitting at a round table with her chin held in her hand as she kicked her feet.

"There she is." Louis said quietly pointing at her watching as Harry grinned when he spotted her as well. Louis said a quick hi to Maddison before he headed to his class as Harry sat in a too small chair at a too small table with Maddie. Turns out career day was much more than just talking about your job, at least for this classroom, there were coloring sheets and recommended questions to ask. It was very thought out and Harry had never been more happy to be so uncomfortable especially when the teacher had given Maddie a stack of papers about doctors to pass out to the students and parents.

#Larry Stylinson #larry shippers #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson fanfiction #larries #fake marriage #nonfamous au #larry fake marraige au #doctor harry styles #teacher louis #parents au #archive of our own #Wattpad #work in progress

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b0nelessdoodles · 4 years

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For your marble hornets au, did the group just wake up all of a sudden in Tim’s work place and just were standing together? Or have they all been awake for awhile and they finally found Tim?

OKay I’ve got a little bit of explaining to do so ufgwkufjwa please bare with this reply possibly being a little on the long side. ;w; So originally I’d started this au back in early July of 2018 and I did asks for it until the start of October (I stopped ‘cause some shit was going on in my life and my brain could not be bothered to do art for a little while) so there is a lot of stuff that uh I never actually posted here and I’m kiiiiinda mad that past me didn’t do that hhh The au originally only focused on Jay, Alex, and Brian and took place in that one dark place we see a couple times with the streetlights being the only lighting they had. (LOOK AT ALL THOSE DARK BACKGROUNDS AND SPOTLIGHTS WOW)

But I wanted to do something different for the 20 ask mark (it was a big deal for me lol) and so I held a magic anon style little event where peeps commented what they wanted to happen, I gave each comment a number, and then pulled one at random and now here we are! The whole gang got sent to where Tim was at the time and then I stopped. Until now! When my brain decided “HEY WE SHOULD PICK THAT UP AGAIN!” So uh yeah they’ve been awake for a while now and it’s actually been some time since they all died/disappeared. They all got here via Operator shenanigans which is why it was mentioned in the last thing I posted. (not gonna post the actual art but have a screenshot of this nonsense yeet)

Sorry that was a little long I didn’t really need to explain that much but I felt like I needed to???

#marble hornets au #the old asks are also why jay's got the feckin' blanket wrapped around him #he was a dick and got put in timeout basically #i dont wanna post my old asks cause yfugiwkhfa 2018 art hhh #but also like hhhhhhhhhhhh #Anonymous

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tentacletherapissed · 5 years

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Public Callout: Paradox, Blue, Jay, Bird

This is a public callout post for users Paradox (@rushifaas -- previously @mournins ; @beliisms), Blue (@divinebetrayed ; @halcyonfought), Jay (@loyalbetrayed) and Bird (@soulsbetrayed). They are active in the fandoms Persona, Fire Emblem, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Danganronpa, Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor, Sentai, Power Rangers, and Kamen Rider.

Never in my 15 years of roleplaying have I met a group of abusers and enablers so toxic, and this post is a PSA so that I can hopefully keep others from falling into their hands. Please blacklist them ALL for your own safety, however, DO NOT ENGAGE THEM WITH HARASSMENT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

Keep in mind, Paradox’s actions are so egregious, he is already getting charges pressed against him by two different people he abused so far, and more may be on the horizon. The rest all enable this behavior and defend him despite all that he’s done to harm them and people they previously called friends. While this callout has snapshots of receipts proving our claims sprinkled in at the mention of them, for full transparency, the full comment chains will be uploaded at the end so that context for everything will be supplied, with censoring only provided for those who have nothing to do with the conflict and wish to be left out of it.

Strong trigger warning for mob mentality, mental and emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, emotional neglect, transphobia, pedophilia, ableism, and a lot more. Details under the cut. (7,300+ words, be mindful)

[Gdoc link in case Tumblr’s formatting is unreadable]

OPEN ALL LINKS AS NEW TABS, I’M SORRY TUMBLR SUCKS AT THIS

Note: Paradox claims to have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and claims to have many alters which are sometimes go by the names of Abel, Vic, Nikki, Hebel, Cain, and Ana in some of these screencaps. I will not be arguing the veracity of such claims in this callout, but for simplicity’s sake, I will be referring to everyone in his system solely by the name of “Paradox” since there is a considerable amount of confusion based on who said what and it’s not entirely clear who’s supposed to be talking in a lot of these screenshots. He also claims to have several other mental disorders like depression, anxiety, and BPD, but regardless of anyone’s mental illness, they should treat those around them with respect and kindness, which is why this callout has been made.

________________________________________________________________

MAIN EVENT - Early September 2018 / June 10th

Paradox is the ringleader of this little cult. A few months ago, he was dating my friend Nael (occasionally called Arin, Ciel, Naoya or Hevel in some of these screens). I first got alarmed about the health of their relationship during an incident in early September 2018 where Paradox threatened to commit suicide over a conflict having to do with RPing and prioritizing one blog over one he liked. [September Break Up: Singles] They broke up, but after a lot of guilt tripping from Paradox and others in his group, my friend Nael decided to get back together with him. Even though I had a lot of misgivings about the situation, I told Nael that I respected their decision and wouldn’t pressure them either way. [Scout and Nael: 12, 13]

Months went by, and I didn’t hear much due to specifically asking Nael not to tell me about their significant other and that group of friends, but things were going downhill. There were many more fights over roleplaying and shipping, some of which Blue and Jay expressed concern about privately, especially since it seemed Paradox himself was ignoring his other lover Kieran for Nael. [For Me: 13, 15, 16]

Paradox’s behavior continued worsening until it came to a head in mid March 2019. Blue and Nael were getting invested in an rp campaign I was running on a private server. When Nael showed off a picture they drew portraying their character, Paradox became extremely upset at them. After a solid week of enduring abuse from their lover [Abel Suicide: 1, 2, 6], it eventually culminated in Paradox apparently trying to take his own life after Nael attempted to break off their relationship. [Abel Suicide: 22, 23, 24] Nael was able to contact their mutual partner Kieran (sometimes called Kie or Vampy in screens) so that he could send the police to Paradox’s home and he would be rushed to the hospital. [Nael: 11]

Nael has multiple health issues that include heart disease and problems with their brain, and was so traumatized by the experience, they had to go to the hospital themselves [Nael: 19, 20 ; Before / After Suicide: 43]. Because I was terrified at the possibility of Nael dying from the escalating nature of their toxic relationship, I urged them to go through with the breakup. Nael decided to take my advice and broke up with Paradox and Kieran on a group chat while on a screenshared call with me and another friend who wishes to remain nameless. [Before / After Suicide: 46]

Blue was at first on board for the breakup and supportive of Nael’s decision [Blue Agrees: Singles] but at the persuasion of Jay decided to believe Paradox’s story when he said Nael had misrepresented what he said when he told Nael he would probably drop Blue due to the breakup. [Copy of Group DM: Full] Keep in mind, we have the FULL attempted suicide dropbox [Abel Suicide: Full], and the breakup conversation including Paradox’s abusive behavior before the attempted suicide attempt. [Before/After Suicide: Full] Much of what Paradox says are blatant falsehoods. In addition, Kieran (Vampy) no longer agrees with the things he has said to support Paradox’s argument and says he was pressured to agree with everything, even if it didn’t feel right.

So instead of making it clear to either of us that Blue no longer considered us friends, she instead gave us the silent treatment and leaked what I vented to her in confidence to Paradox behind my back. She only admitted to doing this when I confronted her after finding a vague post Paradox made that used the exact same wording. [Scout vs Blue: 1, 3, 4] I was extra furious with her because Paradox was making it sound as if it was Nael saying those words when in fact they had no idea what I said to her and was highly distraught when they found out about the vague post. Her excuse was that she didn’t think we would find out. [Scout vs Blue: 7, 9]

This is a common theme with their relationship that shows the extent of how complicit Blue is with Paradox’s abusive behavior. Due to her once close relationship with Nael, she often served as the “bait” to bring Nael back, agreeing that the relationship is unhealthy at first [With Blue: 12] only to go back to heaping abuse on Nael for leaving and trying to persuade them to come back [Nael’s Last Conversation with Blue: Full].

By then, Nael had already blocked everyone else in the cult-like group except Blue due to a promise they’d made to her, and she abused this trust right away by pulling Nael into a group chat so that everyone could yell at them. [Scout vs Blue: 10, 11] IF YOU BECOME A PART OF THIS GROUP, THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO. If you do anything to provoke Paradox’s ire, you will be subjected to a firing squad full of people yelling at you for whatever you did. You will not have a chance to defend yourself, only grovel for forgiveness until they decide they’re through with you. Nael and other members of the group have been subjected to it many times.

Unfortunately, there are no surviving screencaps of this particular dispute, but I do have the one I was involved with. More on that later.

Eventually Nael left and blocked Blue so that they couldn’t be added back to get yelled at more. For the sake of our RP, we agreed upon a peaceable way to continue the server RP [Scout vs Blue: 12, 13, 14, 15, 16] but Blue eventually exited that too [Scout vs Blue: 17]. During the three or so weeks they were split apart, Paradox vagued continuously about us, copied our behavior and prior ships he had with Nael with others currently in his cult, and sent Nael threatening and unstable messages [“Goodbye, Nael”: Single]. While behind their back, he was privately making light of the situation and even made bets with his stooges about when Nael would return [Betting: Singles].

Here’s where I have to put an important disclaimer: During Nael’s time away from the main cult, we both would snoop on his and Blue’s blogs to see if they had mentioned us. Also, during the period immediately after Blue sold me out to Paradox, I became enraged and sent him a pretty angry message [Scout Loses Their Mind: Single], commented on one of his posts, and indirectly threatened them with my popularity compared to theirs in the community I was in. All of those things were the direct result of piss poor decision making and I apologize for my behavior, because it was simply not right to do, no matter who I thought I was defending. Though the blog snooping continued, I thankfully sent no more harassing messages to anyone from the group once Blue indicated she wanted a clean break from us, and no vaguing messages were made on either of our blogs.

Worse still, I privately speculated if this latest suicide attempt Paradox had gone through was “real” or not, which is totally unacceptable. Though I was just concerned about my friend and worried that this might have been another attempt to manipulate them, all threats of suicide should be treated seriously and the proper authorities contacted, PERIOD, regardless of how “serious” the threat might seem. I definitely agree with Nael’s decision to contact the authorities as it was happening, and I’m relieved to know another life wasn’t tragically lost, no matter what my situation is with Paradox after the fact.

Now, with that out of the way… Eventually, Paradox was able to get through to Nael by convincing them that I had lied about a certain mental disorder he was assumed to have. This is all despite me never having said he didn’t have it as I do NOT have the medical condition described and am NOT a medical professional. Paradox willingly passed medical records through a mutual friend [Consent: Single] that Nael initially found convincing but has recently come to doubt. Note: PLEASE NEVER DO THIS, OBVIOUSLY.

Paradox then convinced Nael to pretend to be my friend for a little longer so that he could lure me into a groupchat under the impression that I was defending him from all his former friends. Here is the entire chat almost in its entirety (a few glitches in captures results in a few repeats and nearly 4 minutes straight of lost content), with screenshots proudly taken by BLUE [Her Discord Drop: Single], who played an instrumental role in helping it happen. While I would encourage everyone to read it in its entirety, please be warned that the amount of abuse I endured is very troubling. [Scout Trap: Full]

Please note that Nael (Hevel), Kieran (Ghostie), and Dave have all come to me and personally apologized to me for their role participating in that group chat and we are friends now. But at the time due to this traumatic experience, my friendship with Nael was officially ended. Even though I was worried sick about them, I knew they couldn’t be saved until they saw Paradox’s abusive behavior for what it was on their own. And of course, after a brief honeymoon period, the abuse started again. (Keep in mind, I wasn’t in contact with Nael or anyone else for most of these, so I’m not as familiar about what happened and when.)

The first sign of trouble started on April 16th, not even two full weeks after I had been "defeated". Once again, it was over RP drama, where Paradox became upset at his two lovers Nael and Kieran for shipping with anyone besides him [Initial Ship Drama: 6], even though he usually continues multishipping on his blog with certain people when he pleases. [With Blue: 2] He complained about this endlessly. [Random Paradox Screen]

He continuously gaslit Kieran for about a week, cycling between saying he was going to leave forever [Initial Ship Drama: 9], telling the Kieran to take care of Nael [Initial Ship Drama: 10, 27], giving conflicting directions [Initial Ship Drama: 22, 38], putting himself down so Kieran would feel compelled to console him [Initial Ship Drama: 30, 41, 58], and asking them not to try to pursue romance with him [Initial Ship Drama: 12, 13, 32, 63], only to flip around and say that the idea of romancing them makes him feel “happy”, so he will [Initial Ship Drama: 45, 46], then become upset when either one of them indicated they might need space to either think or just live life like normal. [Initial Ship Drama: 53] Really, the entire thing has to be seen to be believed. [Initial Ship Drama: Full]

Eventually, Paradox’s behavior got so bad that once again, Blue expressed dissatisfaction with his behavior [With Blue: 4], but apparently it wasn’t enough to dissuade her from luring Nael into yet another trap to be yelled at barely a month later on May 17th. [May 17th: Full]

Confusingly, the reason behind this collective thrashing was that Nael actually overcorrected too much and tried to do more stuff with Paradox, only to be called clingy and possessive when they did. Then, when Paradox told Nael he didn’t want to RP with them anymore, Nael tried to respect his decision and not get involved with group RPs that Paradox was involved with so there would be no pressure either way. This was then held up as an example as to why they were “isolating” themselves from the group. Paradox showed the screencaps to others in the group with very little context to get them riled up and angry at Nael so that they’d be on board to yell at them, again showing his willingness to twist someone’s words to make them a convenient villain, no matter what they do to try to appease him.

Then on May 24th, there was the supposed “death” of the alter “Abel”, (who has since returned yet again). [Paradox: 2] The source of all this drama was that Blue simply mentioned a ship that she was continuing with Nael during a period of time Paradox wasn’t at all receptive to the idea of them interacting. Blue freely admitted to being the source of this conflict in private [With Blue: 21], but had no problem letting Nael take the brunt of the abuse. Once again, she is complicit for enabling actions she knows are wrong and hurtful, judging by the way she expresses concern about them, as long as she’s not the one in the eye of the storm.

Following this conflict, Nael started having serious second thoughts. After getting yelled at yet again about something they didn’t even cause, they had to go to the hospital for a near suicide attempt due to all the stress of being repeatedly attacked by someone they thought they could trust.

After they got out again, they were pulled into a smaller group chat with the newly formed “Paradox” alter as well as Jay, where it was demanded he answer for the wrongful death of an alter that has since returned. Multiple times, Paradox held up the incident from September, (which was over 9 months prior!) as to why Nael was to blame for Blue’s actions this time. [Paradox: 8, 10] Paradox even told Nael, someone who had been in the hospital just a few short hours ago [Paradox: 5], that their “suicide held no meaning to him”. [Paradox: 32] All of this despite the fact that they had talked about the very same ship on May 6th! [Proof Abel Knew: 10 total]

This was also supposed to serve as yet another “My heart is telling me not to get in a relationship with you” conversation -- a breakup convo, and one their third lover, Kieran, hadn’t even initially been invited to. [Paradox: 59] It was mostly just Paradox yelling at Nael with Jay usually only chiming in to agree with or heap praise on Paradox. [Paradox: 67] Several times, Paradox made confusing reversals, at one point musing “another alter might come and love you again” [Paradox: 49] to going back to insisting they could never be together again [Paradox: 70], then accusing Nael of saying they don’t love him [Paradox: 45, 46]. You might remember this erratic pattern from his conversation with Kieran back in April. This is gaslighting in its purest and ugliest form.

Clearly after this, Nael was rattled and eventually decided to leave. Instead of making any sort of formal goodbye, they just decided to delete their old Discord and make a clean break so there was no way they could be dragged into another group chat and yelled at. The group quickly fell into chaos once again. Paradox quickly began pumping out venting vague posts on his personal and RP blogs, sometimes pitying himself over the way Nael had apparently treated him [Single: Singles], and sometimes outright wishing death on them. [Paradox die: Single] Before long, he cracked and started sending desperate messages to Nael directly despite Nael obviously not wanting to talk. [Paradox Desperation: Singles] And when that didn’t work, of course Blue was deployed to try to persuade them to come back. [Last Convo w/ Blue: 22 pages] Luckily Dave warned them beforehand. [Thanks, Dave!: Single]

To try to convince others in the group that Nael was the bad guy and needed to be stopped, Paradox began feeding lies to his followers about bad stuff Nael was apparently doing. Paradox told Dave that Nael had been badmouthing him behind his back. But when Dave went to confront Nael about their behavior, Nael provided proof that was in fact Blue saying bad things about Dave. That’s when Dave decided to leave, too.

More chaos happened within the group. Soon after, Kieran the supposed third in their relationship got tired of Paradox constantly saying how Nael was “the only person he could ever love” as well as the constant torrent of irrational behavior and abuse. [Paradox Flipping Out: Single] So he left, as well. Aside from many, many more aggressive venting and vague posts, nothing much new has happened as far as group dynamics.

So far Paradox has been mostly fixated on Nael’s absence, but without the contributions of everyone who left, this callout wouldn’t be possible, and they should all be commended for their efforts and their courage for coming to me to apologize personally for their part in the abuse I and others have suffered.

As terrible as Paradox’s behavior has been in this retelling of events, mostly centered around Nael’s situation, it’s really only scratching the surface of how toxic this group is. There are many smaller details and other people he’s hurt that couldn’t fit in this brief recap, so here are a few more things you should know about that will hopefully keep you from this toxic group of friends.

First I’ll talk about the accounts of people who used to be in the group and go into detail about all the people who are still backing Paradox up despite everything he’s done.

________________________________________________________________

PARTIES INVOLVED

- Other victims -

Kieran:

While Nael took the lion’s share of the abuse from Paradox, it’s important to remember that he was involved with two different people and treated them both badly. Paradox is an outstanding example of what NOT to do when in a polyamorous relationship.

While there was a brief month long period where everything seemed fine after they started dating on October 23rd, Paradox began heavily playing favorites towards Nael, a pattern that only seemed to get worse over time. Kieran was subjected to long periods of neglect from his lover with Paradox only seeming to remember he existed when he was trying to use Kieran against Nael. Even Blue and Jay noticed this when the relationship was just starting out and rightfully called it out, though only in the safety of a private chat. [For Me: 13, 15, 16]

Several times during their relationship, when Nael would mess up or try to leave, Paradox would say that Nael was “the only person he could love” (he even wrote a diary about it!) [Copy of Journal: 2 pages] and break things off with Kieran as well. Most of the time without even telling him. However whenever he was trying to condemn Nael about something, he would hold up Kieran to say “What you’re doing is hurting US”, often without Kieran’s consent.

Of course, Kieran was still subjected to the same amount of lies, gaslighting, emotional blackmail, and mental instability from Paradox that Nael had to endure, but the fact is that he was also basically used as a weapon against someone he cared about by someone who was supposed to care about them both EQUALLY.

Ruby:

Ruby is someone who’s been fighting a personal battle with Paradox for years, starting with a dispute that happened, of course, because of an argument about a fictional character. For the past year and a half as of writing this (the harassment started Nov 2017, it is currently July 2019), Paradox has been stalking her blogs and harassing her over this perceived slight. He lied about her to all her friends in an attempt to alienate her from the public, and we have a confession from Nael that says not only was Paradox guilty of sending tons of anon hate towards Ruby even after they had each other blocked, he would send other people (Nael included) to send anon hate after her.

I briefly intervened during this dispute on Nael’s behalf in November 2018 because during that time we were both lead to believe that Ruby was targeting both Paradox and Nael. This is despite the fact that the post Paradox was upset about wasn’t even about him and she barely even knew Nael even existed. Thanks to my help, I was able to negotiate a brief ceasefire that lasted a few months up until Nael’s separation from Paradox in March.

The stalking and harassment started up again as soon as I had been branded an enemy, and eventually it got so bad that Ruby was the first (but not the only) one to announce she is going to try to press charges against everyone still remaining in the group. Although we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, and she’s done and said things that were unintentionally hurtful, she has been very receptive to feedback and has made great pains to change for the better. I support Ruby wholeheartedly in her endeavors to make the ones abusing her pay for what they’ve done. If you want to know a little more about her conflict with Paradox from her perspective, visit her page. [Ruby’s page of Receipts: Full]

- Part of Paradox’s group -

Blue:

Out of all the people on this list, Blue is the most disappointing aspect of all this, seeing as I considered her my friend even before Nael came along. We’d been friends for more than a year by the time the March Madness started, meeting somewhere around February 2018. She was the one who introduced me to Nael in the first place, and Nael was so close to her they called each other their long lost siblings.

Unfortunately for all of us, Blue can’t stand up to a bully who insults and abuses her friends, even if she knows what he’s doing is wrong. We have multiple screenshots showing instances where she admits that Paradox is in the wrong or being annoying or excessively guilt tripping others based on trivial matters. However, whenever she’s personally on the hook for getting targeted by the ones she calls her “friends”, she quickly falls into line.

The second Paradox asks her to jump, she asks “How high?” She’s been willingly used as bait to rope Nael back into situations she knows and has even admitted are super unhealthy for them, all because she’s too afraid of being the next one everyone turns on. The only time she shows any semblance of “courage” is when she’s backed up by the rest of the hivemind. She’s too afraid to speak for herself, often parroting what others have already written in a desperate attempt to show external strength and total fealty for her master.

I have to wonder what exactly it is that keeps bringing Blue back to him, even though we have an entire folder showing times where she has come to her own conclusions that Paradox is unhealthy to be around [With Blue: 24 total] and has a penchant for blaming her whenever his relationship with his two lovers ever took a downwards turn. [Paradox blaming Blue: Singles] It’s not my place to speculate, but it’s safe to say that with all the times she’s personally let me, Nael, and others in our group down, there’s no way in hell we’re giving her another chance. She has made her choice to stay with someone she knew to be an abuser and emotional manipulator -- someone who hurt her and her friends -- and she will have to live with that decision.

Bird:

Ruby’s situation with Bird is very much like my situation with Blue, made all the worse by the fact that they were actually dating at the time. Bird purposefully sold Ruby out to Paradox while claiming they weren’t in contact, all the while she was feeding all of Ruby’s words and private thoughts to him. This is a common theme with this group and why you can’t be friends with just one of them if you don’t want to be involved with the cult as a whole.

Eventually she was found out and hasn’t really bothered to hide the fact that she’s on Paradox’s team ever since. We also have screenshots of her calling Nael a brat and useless during conflicts Paradox started, like the shipping drama in September. [Misc Bird Folder: 9 total] [Ruby and Bird’s Breakup: 16 total]

Jay:

Now we get to the biggest sycophant of the entire group, Jay. She’s been the one by his side the longest -- for a whopping 4 years -- and one of his most ardent supporters and biggest enablers. While I didn’t know much about her at first, seeing as she was largely absent from what I affectionately call the “six-person beat down”, she’s an invaluable member of Paradox’s cult and basically functions as his right arm and messenger.

If you have a problem with Paradox and want to talk things over with him, he’ll usually insist upon bringing Jay as an “impartial judge”. Not surprisingly, she usually just ends up agreeing with whatever he says and pushing his narrative, all the while insisting she’s being unbiased. She will lie for him, rope cult members attempting to leave back with excuses for his inexcusable behavior, and always swallows whatever lie he has to say wholeheartedly. If he needs a message from Abel passed on to someone trying to persuade them to come back, she’ll deliver it gladly. But if you need her to send a message to him, she’ll curtly tell you not to have her “fight your battles.”

She tried to send an entire drop box of “evidence” to Dave attempting to prove Nael was manipulative and evidence of the alter “Hebel's” existence. In it, Paradox (or rather, his alter Hebel) admitted to trying to spur Nael to kill themselves so that “Hebel” could apparently take over and get Kieran all to himself. [Potential Manslaughter: Singles] All of this was sent as proof that NAEL was the bad guy BY Jay, which is truly mind boggling and shows how far gone she is with regards to him.

There is a woman in prison the very moment that I’m writing this for spurring her suicidal boyfriend to take his own life [Article], and yet Jay thinks this behavior is okay? And before anyone tries to say that Hebel is “technically” to blame for attempting to push Nael to suicide, this argument hasn’t worked in the courtroom since the 1970s! [Article] IF PARADOX’S ALTER IS A DANGER TO NAEL AND CAN’T BE CONTROLLED, PARADOX HIMSELF IS ALSO DANGEROUS. PERIOD.

This isn’t even mentioning the multiple times she’s seen Paradox himself or his other various "good" alters (everyone in the group has seen, in fact) tell Nael outright that he “wishes [they] would die” [Abel Vent: Single] and that their suicide “holds no meaning to him” [Paradox: 32]. Jay was supposed to be “mediating” the very conversation where Paradox -- not “Hebel” or anyone else -- said that to Nael! And she said NOTHING. Her silence is complicity and she should take the blame for being such an ardent supporter of his abusive behavior.

Amazingly, there’s even MORE awful things that this group (particularly, but not exclusively Paradox) that I didn’t have any space to discuss in the callout itself, but they can’t go unmentioned. I know this is already super long, so I’ll try to run through them all as quickly as possible, and then we can get to the large wealth of screenshots we have linked at the end, where everything is in context for you to browse at your convenience.

________________________________________________________________

OTHER OCCURENCES

Transphobia: Paradox is a terf, and there’s not much else to say. [For Me: 2] Ironically he said this in a group chat with one of the only two people who identify as trans in their group, his then-boyfriend Kieran. Here’s him heavily fetishizing a failed attempted Corrin muse that he described as intersex, too. [FE Abel Problems: 5 pages] (In parenthesis is a user attempting to check their work. He makes a bit of an error concerning outrealms and dragon gates and whatnot, but please forgive him for those small errors considering how much he had on his hands.)

Abuse victim blaming: Paradox would often tell his two lovers, who are survivors of various types of abuse, ranging from mental, physical, and even sexual, how it’s their fault for letting their past traumas affect them. [Victim Blaming: Singles] Please note that these screenshots were taken in May, nearly a month before they separated from him fully, so they would have no reason to lie to each other about the things he said or needlessly malign his character before they left.

Promoting infighting: Paradox enjoyed watching his underlings tear each other apart for his amusement or to influence their behavior by saying their actions affected “everyone” despite him using false pretenses to get them to fight in the first place. He lied to Dave about Nael comparing him to a user that he wasn’t fond of when it was really Paradox and Blue that had done it. He also lied to Kieran and the entire group to get them all to yell at Nael in a group chat about Nael trying to isolate themselves from everyone when it was really done to please Paradox.

Ableism: Nael is unwell and has brain conditions they don’t feel comfortable with sharing. Instead of being understanding and supportive of them occasionally not understanding things or forgetting things, Paradox would immediately use it as a weapon against them. When “Paradox” first surfaced, Nael claimed that it wasn’t fair to them that the “Abel” alter yelled at them for forgetting about their ship with Blue. Paradox immediately countered that he Nael would no longer be allowed to use the excuse that they forgot things to AVOID being yelled at for minor things. [Paradox: 21, 22] He would constantly do things like this while they were together.

Copying and stealing OCs: Besides stalking the people that left and that he’s grown to hate, Paradox also has a peculiar habit of copying their activities on his blog with the few remaining people in his circle. For example, back in March when Nael’s Grima muse began interacting with a Reyson rper I introduced them to, Paradox made Kieran pick up his abandoned Reyson muse so that he could ship him with his Robin. (This hasn’t been linked to protect the identity of the second Reyson.) Worse still, Paradox has even outright stolen characters and backstories from those that leave. Here Kieran tries to ask Jay to tell Paradox to stop using some of his stolen OCs and she questions why it “would matter” to Kieran before promptly telling him to basically take a hike and blocking him. [Jay: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Racism: This group seems to relish in their own ignorance when it comes to matters of race. Here are screenshots Dave took where he discussed Paradox saying that Japanese people are white. [No, seriously: Singles] (Please note the dates -- it was back in December, so he has no reason to lie.) Here’s Nael recounting a time Paradox told them that, because they were partially North African, they had to distance themselves from people of their race because other people would only see them as a terrorist. (No caps of that since it was in a call, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt.) Here’s Blue telling me, a black fan, that unintentional racism in a game I enjoyed but was put off by “didn’t matter” and that there was no need for me to “get so salty about it”. [Scout vs Blue: 19, 20] While I don’t think they’re going to any Klan meetings over the weekend, it’s still a bit concerning and something POC muns should be aware of because they can be startlingly insensitive at times.

Pedophilia: Probably the hardest one to talk about for me personally, but definitely one of the most serious. While I must stress that we haven’t noticed any sort of untoward behavior with underaged USERS thus far, Paradox shows an almost unhealthy fascination with underage MUSES that might be off putting to some people and may spell danger. This actually isn’t the first callout someone has made about his behavior. In 2018 while he went by the name “Vic” and was in the Pokemon fandom, he wrote a disturbing post where a 14 year old girl was killed by a literal penis monster that was saying “penetrate” as it ran her through the middle.

Though the mun was fine with their muse dying, the obvious sexual connotations of the post left them feeling uneasy. When they went to approach him about this, instead of apologizing, he got defensive and said that because it was fictional, it didn’t matter. Later he made a bizarre case arguing that because the girl was 14 and thus had presumably experienced puberty, it couldn’t TECHNICALLY be considered pedophilia. [WTF: Single] Which, while correct on only the most technical of terms, flies in the face of all reason. Here’s the full PSA about him back then [Paradox PSA], and screenshots he was booted out of for his terrible behavior. [Paradox Booted: Singles] (His then-lover initially tried to defend him, but his abusive behavior eventually drove them away as well, so care was taken to keep them anonymous.)

Most disturbing of all, though, is a smut drabble that he made this year concerning one of his newer muses, Momo. On his blog, he describes Momo as someone who is “physically” 18 but “actually” seven due to the circumstances of his creation. That would be fine, except he will often portray Momo as also being mentally seven years old even though he continues to write him lewdly. In the smut drabble, he even goes a step further and constantly refers to him as a “child” and constantly fixates on his underdeveloped genitals.

DUE TO THE HIGHLY GRAPHIC AND POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING NATURE OF THIS DRABBLE, DO NO CLICK UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED. It’s honestly not for the faint of the heart and makes me queasy from the first sentence, but there’s no other way to describe the severity of his awful nature unless you experience it for yourself. [To Endure a Fiend’s Heat: full 6 page drabble]

While some would say it’s okay to experience triggering material in a safe environment to potentially help ease the pain of past trauma, Paradox has already shown himself to be unreliable when it comes to respecting the mental health and safety of others, and though we don’t have any screenshots of this, Nael has recounted several times where Paradox said he was sexually excited by RPing his childlike muses having sex with the adult muses of others in the cult. Here's him once again emphasizing the child like element with one and then drawing them in a suggestive "pin up" pose immediately after. [Vector: Singles]

________________________________________________________________

Finally we are at our end. Once again, my purpose behind this callout is not to shame anyone with a particular mental illness or unique set of challenges. Paradox is dangerous to any community he’s in because of his view of other people as simple playthings that he can use and throw away as he pleases. He treats life as an RP, living people as muses, and his apparent mental illnesses as an excuse to do away with any sort of accountability for his actions, and it is simply NOT ACCEPTABLE. Please protect yourself and others by reblogging this -- I feel as though Nael is very lucky to have escaped this situation with his life. Informing others might save another’s.

Complete, unedited list of references, roughly in the order of mention:

(Please note that anything labeled “Single(s)” will not have an entry here, as those are the only screenshots we have about them. We got better about capping things as time went on.)

[Scout and Nael Convo: 13 total] When Nael decided to get back together with Paradox the first time in September 2018, I let them know my concerns, but told them I respected their decision, no matter if I agreed with it or not. Looking back, parts of this conversation feel almost prophetic.

[Didn’t Feel Like…: 9 total] One of Kieran’s first conversations with Paradox. Watch closely how he characterizes the incident in September. He also mentions that his trauma and BPD makes him a sexual fiend, which… idk how others in the community would feel about that.

[For me: 16 total] A loose collection of screenshots Kieran took that shows quite a few odd moments during his time in the cult. That includes Paradox being a terf, Paradox insisting that Kieran to stay with Nael if they broke up (which is something he criticized Nael for suggesting in the March break up, even though Nael only said it once), and Jay and Blue expressing concern for Kieran when Paradox was starting to neglect him back in January. PLEASE MIND THE DATES! They vary page to page sometimes!

[Before/After Suicide: 88 total] A few screenshots showing the tumultuous times immediately before and after the Paradox suicide attempt in March 2019. Afterwards, Nael breaks up with both Paradox and Kieran in no uncertain terms due to the trauma he faced.

[Abel Suicide: 33 total] Paradox’s infamous suicide attempt.

[Nael: 34 total] Nael and Kieran talk as Paradox’s suicide attempt is in progress, and Nael tells Kieran to get the police. Sensitive information blotted out for obvious reasons.

[Scout vs Blue: 25 total] A collection of the conflicts I’ve dealt with in regards to Blue since the incident in March. Also includes her racial insensitivity and back when she agreed with me and Nael before Paradox lied to her.

[Initial Ship Drama: 93 total] Kieran endures like 5 days of nonstop gaslighting from Paradox. At the end (Around page 88) he manipulates Kieran into sparking a confrontation with Nael, telling him to “be assertive” about fixing a problem Paradox caused with his erratic behavior.

[Proof Abel Knew: 10 total] On May 6th, Nael discussed with Paradox or one of his alters about the ship that triggered the May 24th meltdown. Paradox also says that having any ships, including ones that he doesn’t even have to see is unacceptable simply because they exist. He then blames Nael for something Blue brought up. Again. While asking Nael not to blame him for something Blue has done.

[With Blue: 24 total] Kieran talks with Blue about the aforementioned shipping drama, and she immediately expresses frustration and anger with Paradox blowing the whole thing out of proportion. Later she also expresses annoyance with the May 24th incident of the alter “Abel” “dying” due to even more ship drama.

[May 17th: 13 total] Once again, Paradox whips his followers up into a frenzy over Nael, who’s really just trying to do what they were told and prioritize their lover. When they’re told the amount of attention Paradox literally asked for is stifling, they back off, only to be yelled at for it once again. It’s not shown here, but Blue once again acted as a lure to bring Nael into a public flogging.

[Paradox: 72 total] Nael is blamed for the “death” of an alter that has since returned because the alter “wasn’t around” for something they discussed on the 6th of May. This is the introduction to the “Paradox” alter, that I’m assuming now has assumed a fronting role. I don’t really care if that situation has changed since I started writing this.

[Jay: 12 total] Just some screens of Jay kind of being a jerk (mostly in the first set). She won’t tell Paradox to stop stealing someone else’s OCs and stop improperly using Nael’s last name, which is considered legitimate identity theft in France, where he lives! Mind the dates.

[Last Convo w/ Blue: 22 pages] Blue reprises her role as the bait to try to drag Nael back, but they’ve wised up to her game by now. It’s not going to ever work again.

[Jay’s “Evidence” Folder: 122 total] All of the things Jay sent to Dave in order to convince him that Nael was the bad guy. None of it accomplishes that goal. In it there’s a lot of doting between Nael’s alter “Naoya” and Paradox’s alter “Abel”, before Paradox showed the exact same abusive behavior and drove Naoya away as well. Then Paradox’s alter “Hebel” tries to explain his existence. He also admits to attempted manslaughter. So. (Please note: some of these are out of order, and we’re very sorry about this, but it’s not our doing, sorry!)

[Ruby and Bird’s Breakup: 16 total] Ruby tried to get Bird to intervene on her behalf to get Paradox to stop harassing her after she tried making an apology post. Bird totally flaked out, probably due to her dual loyalties to Paradox himself. This spurred a messy breakup between them both.

[Misc Bird Folder: 9 total] Some more random stuff showing Bird and Ruby’s relationship, including her take on Paradox and Nael’s September breakup, where she calls him a “brat”. The entire time during these screenshots, Bird was secretly feeding information to Paradox against Ruby’s will, breaking her trust when she found out. She even told Paradox, Ruby’s abuser, about the new blog Ruby made in order to escape him. That’s why she’s on this callout.

[Discord Server Chat with Blue: 23 pages] The complete chat about the Fire Emblem Heroes event that left me feeling upset about the handling of race in Book 2. While the rest in the server try to be respectful or change the subject, Blue insisted on devaluing my feelings and saying I was accusing her of racism, which was, of course, untrue at the time. Currently, I’m not feeling so generous. (Note: My apologies to fans of Heroes’ Nifl -- I say some strongly worded things here which may be unflattering, but I felt it was important to get the entire conversation down.)

BONUS: [Paradox Guilt Tripping on his birthday: 16 total] In case you needed more evidence of Paradox’s gaslighting behavior, here is him guilt tripping them because Nael, who is not a native English speaker, didn’t understand one video he sent. If this is all it takes to trigger a breakdown, he is probably not ready for a relationship.

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cassolotl · 5 years

Text

[Minecraft] Shipwreckers (1.14+)

Or, How to Land in a World that is Only Deep Lukewarm Ocean and Die Repeatedly Looking for a Door

22nd September 2019

Me and Jay like Minecraft, and we specifically like the survival bit at the beginning. We also like challenges that make us think around corners a little bit. We have in the past enjoyed Skyblock, and also this cute game where you’re in an ordinary land biome but you are a tree and you start with one sapling and you’re only allowed to walk on logs of your tree.

In a hunt for a new way to make Minecraft harder and more interesting, me and @jay-avery hatched a plan.

We would make a Minecraft world that is only ocean.

THE THOUGHT EXPERIMENT

It turned out that making a plugin to remove biomes isn’t as easy as making one that adds them, but you can make it so that a world contains only one biome.

Jay (codemonkey) did some research on the features and downsides of various biomes, and found that “deep lukewarm ocean” has lots of the pros and very few of the cons. It has ocean monuments and shipwrecks, as well as caves and abandoned mines (deep ones). All ocean mobs can spawn in them. Most importantly, it has NO LAND WHATSOEVER. >:D

There are some items etc. that are unavailable in that biome, but fewer than you’d think.

Saplings, sugarcane, coral, ice and flowers can be traded from wandering traders (the ones with llamas), who can spawn anywhere except in water.

Sugar can be obtained from witches.

Paper is often in shipwreck chests.

Edible crops can be found in chests (seeds) and zombie drops (carrots and potatoes).

If you can get stuff for potions and you find some golden apples in chests, you can convert and cure zombie villagers and start a floating (or cave) village.

However, that leaves animals, of which many can only spawn in land biomes (so dirt platforms in the sea won’t work), and coral, which only grows in warm ocean biomes. Also the small matter of… grass.

So here’s what Jay made.

THE ACTUAL THING

It’s a surprisingly simple change to get your head around.

The only biome for the entire world is “deep lukewarm ocean”. The Nether and the End stay the same (strongholds can generate in the ocean and at bedrock).

In single player it’d just be a buffet type setting, but it’s more tricky with servers. Shipwreckers can be used with single player and on a server, and will make sure you also occasionally find in treasure chests the items and animals that would otherwise be completely unattainable in deep lukewarm ocean.

There are special loot tables that you have to include (provided), to make it possible to obtain anything (as far as we can remember) that would otherwise be unavailable in an all-ocean world. Every loot chest (shipwrecks, abandoned mineshafts, ruins, etc) will contain one stack from a new pool of possibilities:

a single spawn egg for any passive land animal (farm animals are more likely)

a single grass block

a single mycelium block

a single sea pickle

a single sweet berry

SETTING IT UP

It’s not a typical plugin installation situation. You have to create the world and then add the data pack and then delete and regenerate the world.

Here’s Jay’s instructions. For the purposes of this tutorial, [worldname] will probably be “world” (or “New World”, that’s the default for single player).

1. Create new world (in vanilla 1.14) > choose buffet world type > choose deep lukewarm ocean biome > save and quit immediately once created

2. Add the special loot tables: put this ‘shipwreckers’ folder into the saved game’s data packs folder (at minecraft/saves/[worldname]/datapacks).

3. Regenerate the world to make sure the new loot is added: delete the 'region’ folder (minecraft/saves/[worldname]/region).

Now it’s ready to play single player.

If you want to play with friends you can upload the whole save folder to a server for multiplayer, and players won’t need to do anything except connect. (We can’t help you here - methods will vary depending on what kind of server set-up you’ve got.)

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO PLAY

Starting out SUCKS. :D To begin with, we tried harvesting fish to eat, but they are not very nourishing, and the problem is… there are water zombies everywhere, and they will attack you and the fish won’t heal you fast enough, so you’re just going to die and drop all the fish and get sent back to spawn anyway.

When you find a shipwreck (of which there are many), there’s no way to swim all the way down and “harvest” some wood to make tools or a door, there’s just no time and you drown. Your only hope is to by chance find a shipwreck that happens to contain a door (which makes an air pocket), and even then there will probably be water zombies and maybe even trident guys down there who will kill you.

So you just have to… swim around looking at shipwrecks in the hope of finding a door, dying repeatedly and being sent back to spawn. And then when you find a door, cling onto it and turn your shipwreck into a minibase by harvesting lots of wood and turning it into doors.

It is SO DIFFICULT compared to vanilla or even Skyblock! So frustrating!!! AHHHHHHH

Anyway, from there you can build up to make a platform for mobs (pray for a wandering trader, get creepers) or dig down to start a mine. Even though the world is one uniform biome, it's still interesting to explore because there's variation in the plants and mobs and also the generated structures.

The first few hours were great, because when we’d find a shipwreck there would be much excitement over the animal eggs and other rare goodies we’d find in the chests, and then getting it all home safely in order to stash it was really fun, along with getting excited when you find a second animal egg so you can breed them (except chickens, which are conveniently parthenogenetic). Until you have really good armour the trident dudes are always a significant threat. Jay says, “I am repeatedly amazed and horrified by how powerful trident guys are, and because they are ranged attack they knock you back and you can't swim towards them fast enough to hit them before they throw at you again aaahhhhh”

The main limiting factor we’ve had so far is lack of trees. If we need wood we get in a boat and go and find a shipwreck, and just totally dismantle it. We’ve got a tidy collection of farm animals and crops going on, but no trees or flowers. We’ve had one wandering trader spawn, but he wasn’t selling sugarcane or saplings. We’ve got some enchanting stuff going on (books and paper from shipwrecks), and we’ve got potions stuff since we found some blazes in the Nether, but we’ve not made it to the End yet because endermen don’t spawn much due to all the water.

We haven’t yet made water-breathing potions, nor have we managed to enchant a hat with some kind of water-breathing charm, but we’re not unduly hampered by this because we take doors everywhere we go for emergency underwater air pockets.

Here’s a Dynmap screenshot of where we’re at so far. It’s fun to note that when you’re boating about you can always tell when you’re nearly home because the kelp is all really tall. :D (You can also use it as a fuel source! It’s just incredibly slow!)

Behold, me fishing under the mob spawner XP farm thing I just made:

(The texture pack is not included, but it’s made by Jay and can be found here.)

NB: Me and Jay aren’t available for tech support, and if this thing stops working with future versions we’re not available to update it. Sorry about that! However, it has some kind of free software license that means you can edit and share it, so you are welcome to update it yourself and republish it.

Edit 2019/09/22: Oops, coral can be traded with wandering traders, that has now been removed from loot tables. Plus we added a couple of animal eggs that we forgot to include in the loot tables, sweet berries, and the mycelium block.

#original posts #minecraft #Shipwreckers #jay avery #that's my person being great

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pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles · 5 years

Text

Colour Me In Part 3

“Oh that is not good,” Michael cracked up and Calum just glared at him.

“Will you shut up unless you're going to help,” he grumbled fiddling with his bass. Lunch with Eliza had been amazing, and he'd really felt like he was starting to get somewhere with this girl. Kevin's sudden appearance at lunch had him worried.

“Maybe it's better to get it all out now,” Michael tried to sound reassuring.

“Get what out now?” Luke asked, entering the room trailed by Ashton.

“His new girl's best friend is gonna tattle on him before he gets a chance to get it,” Michael told them.

“Wait I thought you weren't talking to Nat?” Luke asked slightly confused.

“No, dummy, the deaf girl, Eliza.” Ashton poked Luke in the side to get him out of his way. “I thought you guys were having lunch today?”

“We did,” Calum told him, “but her closest guy friend, Kevin,” Cal made a face when he said the name, “came out of nowhere and told her I looked familiar. So when I ask her where he works she says he's a model and works the door at Emerald City.”

The guys laugh but Calum cuts them off “and The Chelsea,” the guys stopped laughing, “and Lucky's,” Calum finished.

“Ooooh that fucking sucks dude,” Luke sat down facing him.

“Of all places though, I don't think there's a girl in that bar that hasn't seen your dick at some point,” Ashton laughed.

“You're one to fucking talk,” Calum huffed, “you're worse than me. Didn't you have Cass over last weekend?”

“I did actually, she says hi by the way, keeps joking about wanting a threesome with both of us,” Ashton chuckled.

“She's not joking,” Calum shot back raising his eyebrows.

“Okay so Cass, Kimmie, Jen…” Luke started naming names.

“Hollie and Haley,” Michael chimed in.

“…Alanna, Charlotte, Jay, and most currently Natasha….so yea Calum is a straight up fuckboy.”

Kevin leaned towards Eliza, nodding his head furiously as he signed with quick dramatic gestures.

Eliza, sitting across from him on the couch, threw up her hands in exasperation at the way Kevin was so concerned for her well being over Calum. He'd insisted on her coming over after work so they could talk.

“Did you think I didn't know that? He's in a band. I work for a publicist. Laura, my co-worker even had a thing with his friend Ashton. You and Mags act like I've never encountered fuckboys before. Besides have you seen Calum? I'm trying to have some fun here.” Eliza’s hands were tense as she signed slowly and deliberately, her face a mask of sarcasm.

Kevin laughed and rolled his eyes setting his phone down so he could look at her while they talked.

“Listen,” he signed,” I just don't want you to get hurt. None of the girls had anything bad to say about him except, the second you fall for him Calum lets you down gently, but he does not stick around.”

“KV, you know I don't have time for a boyfriend. My job is crazy. My personal project, Mr Zachary James, is a little shit who won't stay out of trouble, and my boss is terrifying. I know I'm not as experienced as you, or Calum,” Eliza smirked at him and Kevin flipped her off. “The guys I've dated have been boring or turned out to be assholes. I want an adventure, is that so wrong?”

Kevin rolled his eyes, “This is pointless, all the women in your family are stubborn as hell. Just be careful. I do think it's cute he's learning to sign. How much you wanna bet that's your sister?” He signed as both their phones buzzed.

Open Group Chat

Mags the Mighty Okay today has been insanely busy. I know you two are huddled up discussing lunch with Rock Star. What's the consensus?

Maggie sat back and waited knowing both of them were desperately trying to be first.

King KVN so you already know your sister is impossible, but I found out dog boy has been getting it with all the models, thots, and bad bitches that work at Lucky's and The Chelsea. This bitch doesn't care because she's thirsty. I'm trying to talk some sense into her.

Big EZ basically everything he said is true, but he has to be extra about it. From here on out every time you call him dog boy I will scuff one of your sneakers.

Mags the Mighty so wait you're okay with Calum fucking around like that? I mean he's hot and for a vacation hookup or weekend hookup sure. He's taking you on dates, asking about your family, and even signing… Maybe he likes you.

Big EZ I don't have time for any of that Mags. Besides look at Patrick and Miguel it's not like I've got a great track record

King KVN those dipshits weren't your fault and I will not tolerate my best friend putting herself down. Miguel was too insecure to handle a woman as smart and beautiful as you and he cheated to compensate. That's on him not you. Patrick is a sad little man with a sad little dick who tries to slide into your DMs WEEKLY even though he's supposedly happy with his girlfriend.

Mags the Mighty You're so extra Kev. we are not here to discuss Eliza's dismal history with men. Besides that was high school and we're all trying to pretend that never happened. When do we get to hang out with rock stars?

BIG EZ I haven't heard from him since lunch. He got all weird after Kev popped up. If you messed this up for me. I swear I will maim you.

Just then Eliza's boss interrupted their conversation with a flurry of text messages. Another client, country music party girl Shelby Keeler, had just been arrested in Texas in a bar fight, and TMZ had footage. Evie already had Maria Reynolds, the only person helping her with the nightmare that was Zachary James, on a plane to Houston to do damage control.

Not only that but his ex girlfriend, model and heiress Daisy Moss, was rumored to be hanging back around. Zachary was smart enough to try and keep this from Eliza and Jeanette, his manager, as their drug fueled bust up in a hotel suite had almost destroyed his career and cost him most of his sponsors.

Zac had been a child actor and teen pop star before washing out at 17. A couple years after that he'd built a following on YouTube with a series of videos documenting his failed comeback attempt, his struggles with mental health, and life post fame. He showed how he cared for his mom who was deaf and had a bad back from a car accident. His sister was in and out of his life as she bounced between rehab and addiction.

He'd developed his YouTube channel as a launch pad for phase 2 of his career getting a reality show on E that was entering its fifth season. However, two years ago he'd met Daisy, and since then his life had been chaos.

Eliza sighed, annoyed that her weekend was now going to be spent worried at the prospect of all her hard work with Zac going to shit. She realized when she finally got home she still hadn't heard from Calum since they'd parted ways after lunch. That was unusual but it was the weekend and Calum was probably at some bar with one of his girls. Eliza was stunned how pissed off the idea of Calum hitting on another woman made her.

Calum didn't know what to do. He wanted to text Eliza and somehow explain himself, but there was nothing to say. Everything Kevin could tell her was true, and for the first time in a long time Calum felt a bit ashamed of his behavior. Not out of regret or a sense of morality, he hated how it looked and what it might cost him. He declined to go out that night, and instead huddled up in his apartment with Duke.

Calum pouted the entire weekend. He didn't leave the house or talk to anyone for two days. Instead he ordered takeout, worked on a song, or watched videos on his laptop. He checked Eliza's Twitter and Insta but there were no posts. He even checked Zachary James’ accounts to see if work was keeping her busy, but found nothing.

Eliza spent the entire weekend with Jeanette keeping an eye on Zac. Daisy was back around and had even come by the house a couple times. Luckily he was ignoring his ex, for now, but between him whining about his failed relationship, and Jeanette bitching about Zac, Eliza was irritated for 48 hours, and it gave her a headache. By Monday morning she was in a terrible mood and took part of the morning off to spend some time with Oliver. They went to Marian's because lemon bars always lifted her spirits.

She saw Calum pulling out of the parking lot as she started to turn in. Eliza thought he saw her, but then he was gone. After placing her order and settling into a table on the patio she found herself distracted, glancing at the entrance hoping to see him walk in. Finally she'd had enough, Eliza wasn't going to let Calum ghost her without calling him on his bullshit.

Haven't heard from you since Friday, makes me wonder if Kevin frightened you off. I gotta admit, I'm disappointed, didn't think you'd scare that easily. I thought you were tougher than that.

She hit send and immediately wanted to take it back. She sent Kevin a screenshot of what she'd done and to her surprise he was awake and answered back.

Yaaasssssss, tell him about himself. I will say this tho… Your boy was nowhere to be seen this weekend. All his boys came out to Lucky's Saturday night, and I know for a fact both Haley and Nat hit him up this weekend. No one's heard anything.

He could always have girls you don't know about.

Stop that, we all know I know everything

Eliza stopped laughing when Calum’s name popped up

I'm an ass. I knew what Kevin would tell you, and it's all true, I can't deny that. I figured you'd be done so I just didn't feel like talking to anyone this weekend. I stayed home and worked on some songs.

Do you really think I was that shocked? You're in a band, you're young, and hot. You had a hickey when we met up at the dog park. I may not be very experienced, but I'm not some sheltered, naive, stupid little deaf girl.

Okay okay I'm sorry, I should have texted you. It looked bad, but I never ever thought you were naive or stupid. I think you're smart, funny, and charming. I thought a woman as classy as you could do better than someone with my history. Let me take you on a proper date. We can even be chaperoned.

What are you even talking about? Chaperoned?

Yes, let me take you out to dinner and Oliver and Duke can come along and make sure I behave like a gentleman.

You're playing the Duke card, that's completely unfair.

Tomorrow night? I can pick you guys up.

Tomorrow is fine. Tell me the time and place and I'll meet you there. I’m not ready to have you meet my mother.

Eliza realized she was holding her breath and exhaled suddenly very nervous. Her first real date with Calum, and he was determined to treat her like a lady. She wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. What she was sure of is that she needed to figure out what to wear. She texted Maggie and Kevin and headed to work.

Eliza glanced back at Oliver in the back seat as she put the car into park. The little dude was smiley and wagging his tail although a bit apprehensive by the unfamiliar surroundings. Eliza has been thrilled when Calum told her he wanted to try Mohawk Bend, it was her sister's favorite pizza place and very dog friendly. The hostess waved to Eliza and Oliver doing a bit of a double take.

Kevin had outdone himself with her outfit tonight. He'd put her in black leggings and her black push up bra that made her boobs look huge. He then wrapped a tan cashmere scarf around her chest, hiding her cleavage so her mom wouldn't bitch. Over that he'd layered a burgundy lightweight dress, that was actually a swimsuit cover-up, using one of his belts to turn it into a cute tunic. They'd decided on simple makeup with a dark burgundy lip, black motorcycle boots and a careful application of gold highlighter to her face, body, and hair to complete the look. Her hair was in a loose Grecian braid with gold wire wrapped throughout helping tame her curls.

Calum saw Eliza walk up to the podium and show the hostess his text message about already having a table. She looked amazing without trying too hard. He'd promised to behave like a gentleman, but as his eyes took in her curves as she walked up the table, his thoughts turned carnal. Oliver and Duke greeted each other like long lost friends. Eliza smiled at him and his mind went blank. He grabbed his phone.

I had this really cool plan to impress you with some new signs I learned this weekend, but I'm too nervous to remember any of them.

Eliza wanted to scoff at the idea of Calum Hood being nervous around any woman, but despite looking insanely handsome in his all black t shirt and jeans combo, he was fidgety and sweating.

He let her decide what to order so they could share. She chose the white mushroom pizza and fish tacos to split.

They played with the dogs while they waited for the food to arrive. When it did they took turns going to wash their hands and Eliza couldn't help but notice Calum left his phone on the table when he got up.

Dinner was lovely. They went through extra napkins as they kept getting sauce everywhere. Calum fed her tacos, she wiped sauce off his chin. They kept laughing at jokes no one else got with Oliver and Duke dozing snuggled together under the table. Calum heard an older couple making comments about them being on their phones.

How do you sign mind your own business?

Eliza looked up at him and he shot a quick glance at the older fellow giving them a sour look.

She looked back at Calum signing

“Mind your own business?” he asked out loud as his hands mirrored hers. She nodded and Calum heard the guy mutter “How was I supposed to know.”

Calum insisted Eliza take the rest of the pizza home to Maggie, paid the check with a generous tip, and walked them to her car. Standing next to her car they stood there texting, neither of them quite ready to see the night end or push it further.

Until a text from Evie broke the spell and Eliza needed to go.

Calum held up a hand mouthing “wait, wait” and sent another text.

I remember one of the things I learned now

Eliza looked up and Calum raised his eyebrows and signed “Can I kiss you?”

She nodded and reached up resting her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him towards her as he lowered his lips to hers.

They both melted into the kiss, lips parting, tongues colliding and his hand gripping her hip pulling her closer. Eliza felt him get hard and she pushed her body against him. Calum broke the kiss, panting and looking at her with nothing but lust in his eyes. Eliza wanted him to keep going but he shook his head.

I don't want you to think you're just another girl.

He signed “good night, I'll text you,” before giving her another quick kiss and picking Duke up so he could say his goodbyes.

@wildhearthood @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @cal-puddies @biba3434 @grittyisathot @angelbabylu @itstheholls @irwinkitten @5sos-ficssmut @cal-pal-cuddles @calumh-excess @1dthewantedlove @you-of-ghost @babygirlcashton @sublimehood @sugarcoated-pain @calteahood @the-fifth-season @kchillout @flannelpunkcalum @unabashedlymyself @5-secondsofcolor

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marvelgbt-posts · 5 years

Text

Projects

{Photographer! Peter Parker x Bigender! Artist! Reader}

Warnings: i dont know much bout the bigender community, and so i did my research. So you identify as two genders? I dont know what ‘genders’ exactly you’d want here, so i’ll put they/them pronouns if thats okay :)

Summary: ‘can i please get a bigender reader who goes to art school with peter, that has like, “god like abilities” and always compliments/draws/tells peter hes amazing. ((tag @give-you-the-sxn please?))

Ofc my beautiful valid child <3

A/N: i decided to change it up a bit and have the art class as a club after school instead. Also I hc that tom hollands peter parker is into photography. I hope you like it >///<

I listened to ‘youth’ by Shawn Mendes and Khalid while doing this.

*not edited*

“Welcome class,” the teacher greeted you all brightly, “I’m glad you could make it after school today, what with all the rain and all I assumed only two or three of you would have shown up today. Anyways, you know what to do. Best get to it.” She clapped her hands, before turning her heel and moving to write on the board, writing ‘Integrated Arts Club’ in a cursive calligraphy font. That was her contribution to the club. Calligraphy.

You sighed. This was a way for you to escape the harsh reality of the outside world. Half the students in this club were members of the community, no scratch that, the majority of students were gay. There was maybe only one or two straight people apart of this club.

You took out your paints, paintbrushes, pencils, and then got your canvas from inside the supply closet where you had left it yesterday. It was your newest project, a painting of a woman in white, with bright red lips and a black dress that blended into the black background of your canvas. You were inspired by a woman you had seen one night on the streets of Queens.

Taking a seat by yourself- taking up the whole table with your paints and brushes spread everywhere- you began painting. Everything was already finished, you just needed the details. You heard the door open and close, only choosing to look up when you finished an eyelash stroke.

“Yeah, this is where I go after school. That over there is Mia- the one spray painting the poster paper- and the dude over there with the guitar is Jay. That over there is (y/n), their bigender so I’d just use androgynous pronouns for them. Over there is Ms. Burningham, our club sponsor, and the dude in the corner is Max, he’s a comic book artist. You’d fit right in, Peter.”

The voice belonged to MJ, a close friend of yours. She often helped give you inspiration, letting you paint some of her sketches to life. You heard her walk behind you, leaning down so her hair was in your peripheral vision. You looked up, “Yo, MJ.” You smiled at her, then up at the newbie.

He was short, about an inch or so shorter than you, with brown eyes and hair. He wore a sweater over another shirt, jeans, and ha a camera in his hands. He was trembling, probably nervous.

“Hey, ahh, who’s this?” You asked MJ, who looked at Peter. She leaned back against the table, her palms getting paint on them from the splatters that had fallen off your plate of paint.

“Parker- Peter. Peter Parker. Nice to meet you.”

He went to shake your hand, you lifted yours up to show him you had gotten black and red all over them, “Sorry, dont wanna mess up your hands. That camera looks expensive.”

Peter made a small ‘oh’ noise, looking down to his small Canon camera. “Yeah, it- its almost completely brand new. I sold some of my old stuff to get it. Useless stuff, shirts and books and stuff.”

“Cool, cool. Uh, MJ, could you tell Jay to keep it down over there? Can’t hear my own thoughts over his wanna-be indie music,” you said, completely disregarding the boy in front of you now. It wasn’t that you were rude, you just wanted to get this painting finished hole everything was still wet, otherwise it would make problems later on. MJ rolled her eyes, but nodded. You flashed Peter a smile, before turning to you painting.

After about a minute of silence, you heard a gasp behind you, “Holy shit- that’s really good!” You looked up, seeing Peter next to you with his camera turned on. He blushed, “Sorry! It’s just you looked so calm and pleasing, I snapped a quick photo while you weren’t looking- sorry.”

You half-smiled, standing upright, “Thanks, and it’s okay. This class is freedom of expression. Just not expression, ‘kay? As in, no swearing,” you laughed and pointed to the lady at the front of the class, her hands busy grading the Latin worksheets. Peter nodded, surprise clear across his face, “Oh- sorry.”

“Can I see?”

“What?”

“The pictures, can I see? I mean, they're of me, right?”

“Oh- yeah! Totally!”

Peter pushed a few buttons on his camera, and he scrolled through some of the photos until he found yours. “Here-”

“Wow, i look hot!”

You moved closer to Peter to get a better look, gawking at the aesthetic that was put into one simple photo. You did look good in this photo. “Mind sending me this? Not just this, other stuff, too. I’d love to make a piece from these- oh, if that’s okay?”

“Uhh- yeah! Sure!”

***

You flopped onto the bed, curling up next to a pillow. It was cold from loneliness, making you snuggle closer to it. You looked at your nails- paint ad managed to get wedged between the nail and the skin, and no matter how hard you tried it wouldn’t wash away.

You sighed, ready to turn off the light until your phone went off. You checked it to see there was a message from MJ, asking you if it was okay to give Peter your number. You texted back, ‘Yeah. Totally.’

Three minutes later, your phone went off again and it was Peter.

Unknown

Hey (y/n) its peter

Parker

Peter parker

I just wanted to know if you wanted the photos to be on a hard drive or through gmail or something?

Hello?

-11:13-

You

Yeah

I’m here hi

A hard drive would be nice thanks

-11:15-

You took a moment to change Peter’s ID to his name. About five minutes later, Peter responded with more spam

Peter

Okay cool

Yeah okay

Yeah i can do that

Sure

Yeah

Okay

Cool

-11:32-

You

Lol

Imma sleep

Night peter

-11:35-

Peter

(…)

Night

-11:45-

***

The next day, you bumped into Peter in the hallway, “Oh, hi Pete. Can I call you that?”

“Hi, (y/n)! Yeah, totally cool!”

“Cool, got the hard drive?”

“Yeah, right here,” Peter patted his jean pockets for a bit before pulling out a black and red hard drive, “It has maybe 20 or 25 pictures here. Their mostly just random pictures of places around Queens, hope that’s okay?” You nod, “Thanks Pete.”

***

That night, you went home and changed Peter’s ID to ‘Pete’. After that, you plugged the hard drive into your laptop, opening the file titled ‘images’ and scrolling through the photos. Most of them were taken at impossible angles, and you wondered how Peter was able to capture photos like them. One was at the top of a building and looking down onto a busy interstate. Another was of the stars, a bit of the background trees getting in the frame. They were beautiful. Another was of MJ, her back towards the camera, a backpack strap in her hand, looking to the left at the sky with a sunset background. You saved that image as ‘Michelle_jERKFACE.jpeg’ on your computer. The photo Peter took of you earlier was amongst them as well.

You went to bed that night with a smile on your face and ideas fresh in your mind, ready for tomorrow's Club Meeting.

***

“Hey (y/n)! Like the pictures i sent?”

“Holy Shii-shhh! Peter! That sentence can go two ways!”

“OH! Sorry...”

“Its fine, and yes I did like them. They were really good! How come you never joined before?”

“Never thought i was good enough.”

“Not good enough?! Peter, those photos are professional level photos. They are wonderful and beautiful and deserve to be in a museum.”

“Oh, wow, thanks...” peter blushed, looking own with a small smile on his face.

***

You looked at the scenery before you, trees brown and crisp from the fall air. Peter sat next to you, his camera ready to snap a picture at any moment. MJ sat opposite Peter, sketchbook in hand and sketching the trees and people. Ned was posing by a fountain as Peter playfully took photos of him. You started sketching Peter into your own book, smiling when you finished and began shading.

MJ looked over at you, “Damn, you’re gay for Peter Parker.”

You looked at MJ with a shocked expression, before looking at the sketch and at Peter, who was now out of ear shot.

“Totally,” you smiled, before both of you went back to your drawings.

***

“Peter,” you looked at him seriously from your spot on his bed, “Ever think about kissing dudes before?”

Peter blushed, “I- ah, um...” His eyes widened, before looking down shamefully, “Y-Yeah… more than a few times...”

You smiled, “Cool, so what? You’re… bi?”

“More pan, I look for personality more than gender.”

“Cool, same. I’m (sexuality).”

“Oh, cool!”

***

“Peter, where are we going?”

“Behind the school. There’s something I need to show you.”

Peter had your hand tight in his grip, pulling you through the almost empty hallways. His voice didn’t stutter, which worried you.

Finally, you made it. Peter pulled out his camera, “Stand in front of that street art Mia did yesterday.” You did just that. Peter moved your arms to move in front of your sweater, telling you to tug at it a bit and look up at the sky. He moved some hair in front of your face to cover your eyes. He knelt down, snapping the photo.

“Cool, now stay there.”

“Do you always get like this for a photo?” You asked as Peter pressed record, moving next to you, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing, um. What are you doing?”

“Its for a project. I’m gonna screenshot part of the video later. Please, this is important.”

You watched Peter as he took control of the situation, taking your (smaller/bigger) hands in is own, intertwining them as he leant up.

“Kiss me.”

You coughed, moving back. Peter moved his arms around you again, “Please?”

“Why?”

“The project- please (y/n).”

You slowly gave in, letting Peter wrap his arms around your waist as you looked down into his eyes, your hands cupping his cheeks softly. He leant up to kiss you softly. Both of you stayed there, afraid and unsure of how to move.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said after a while, moving away. You were quick to react, taking the back of his head and slamming it back onto yours.

“Mph-!”

He was taken aback by the action, soon melting and whimpering into it.

Yep, you were so gay for Peter Parker.

#marevlgbt #request #male reader #bigender reader #gender neutral reader #mlm #x reader #peter parker x male reader #peter parker x gender neutral reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x bigender reader #lgbt #gay imagine #lgbt imagine #marvelgbt imagine #marvel imagine

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zcvgiroux · 6 years

Note

would it be rude to ask what happened with the players? so i know whether I should stay away from the group?

alright, since im p sure everyone’s blocked me so i won’t have to delete any anons (or deal with anymore blatant transphobia on discord. hey negan! i have the screenshots if anyone’s interested in proof)

let’s just. run down my list. this is gonna be long, and i’m not putting it under a readmore, so.

negan. the star of the hour. i’m gonna be really real, when i first started writing in the group, i thought negan was pretty cool. his writing style isn’t like mine, but i mean, hey, i wasn’t gonna write him off for that. that’d be real shitty of me. but. things started happening with negan and his characters. well, with one in particular. angelo. or should i say a-a-a-a-a-a-angelo. as someone who’s struggled with speech impediments from a young age, i’m always happy to see those sorts of things represented. but only if they’re done respectfully. my first issue with angelo was how unrealistic his stutter was, from only stammering on the first sound, to having no real rhyme or reason to what triggered the stutter, etc etc. but hey. everyone stutters different so. maybe there’s people who stutter like that. that alone wasn’t enough to tick me off. then he ultimately decided angelo is trans. as a transmasculine person, i’d be a complete shit lord if that bothered me. it didn’t bother me. what bothered me was how negan handled angelo’s transness. constantly referring to him as a trans BOY despite angelo being a 40 year old man, completely infantilizing him in speech patterns and behavior, it all just reeked of internalized transphobia. listen, i won’t kinkshame anyone here, but maybe some understanding of Kink While Trans should have been applied to angelo here. and that’s not even addressing that he apparently finds it appropriate to refer to me as “princess” when he’s trying to be condescending, even though he knows i’m a transmasculine person with extreme dysphoria.

joey. what a fuckin sleezeball. he’s offender numero uno on my list of Gross Dudes With An Age Difference Fetish. like i said. everyone’s got different thresholds for this stuff. some don’t mind a five year difference, some don’t mind a ten year difference. whatever. and, like, if the younger muse is, like, 21, and the older one is, like, early 30s, IDGAF. you do you. but when your 18 year old character seeks out men twice as old as him or older, and you’re older than your muse by, like, a bit, that’s a red fuckin’ flag. how obtuse do you have to be to not see the predatory stereotypes you’re making characters fall into here?

jaybird. jay. whatever he’s going by. first of all, he sent me the anon hate that sparked this need to Never Fucking Shut Up About How Shit This Group Is so. y’all can thank him for that! at least, i’m operating on the assumption it was him, seeing as how the points match up to his points in the ooc chat. so there’s strike one. strike two is petty as hell but of all the fucking occupations to give a character, he chose to have his character be a part of a racist, victim blaming franchise with a known r*pist on their team. but again, that on its own isn’t enough to make me outright hate someone. the nhl as a whole is its own problem. whatever. but when you combine that, with the anon hate, and then the fact that his, like, 35 year old character was actively pursuing and involved with an 18 year old character? fucking disgusting.

ray.

that’s not an apology. “sorry you got offended” isn’t an apology for offending someone. not to mention, he’s constantly condescending and got a holier than thou attitude about fuckin’ everything. and, again, complete cop apologist. i don’t give a flying fuck that he’s dating a cop or whatever. that actually only proves my point. ray’s the type that’ll get you, though. i’ll be honest, i really liked him in the beginning. i thought he was upbeat and positive, and all around a good guy. but it’s such bull. ray’s got what i call Motivational Speaker Positivity. You know the sort. “Everything is good! Things are great! If you don’t think so, that’s on you! It’s your fault! You could change if you tried but since you aren’t happy you’re just not trying!” that shit. it’s not real, begins to feel hostile after a while. and you start to realize that. wait a minute. he’s been a dick this entire time. i can’t speak for his characters because i hardly ever saw them online, and they only interacted with, like, 10 other characters combined. in an rp whose character count was almost triple digits. yeah.

coop. gonna be honest, this is another one i can’t speak too much about the characters, because i think i only ever interacted with one? something like that. similarly to ray, a cop apologist, and quick to mention they’ve only ever known ONE bad cop. that’s cool, coop. when’s the last time you were locked in a room by yourself for 12 hours while every cop you tried to flag down to explain your situation laughed in your face? when’s the last time your father was made to take 10 field sobriety tests, all of which he passed, refused a breathalyzer when he requested it from the cop, and then still slapped with a DUI because the officer smelled the beer someone had spilled on him? when’s the last time you’ve had a cop chase you through a neighborhood for not doing a damn thing wrong? hm? exactly.

i don’t really like A either but that’s more just that i hate the fake tough act they try to pull on the main, like. calm it down. no one gives a shit. you sound like a douchebag. other than that, i hardly interacted with them IC or OOC enough to know what their deal is.

those are the ones that pop out at me, but notice three of them are admins. yikes. my advice? stay away. stay far, far away from boystownhq.

#boystownhq #transphobia mention #rape mention #racism mention #long post #Anonymous

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heromanvasco · 7 years

Note

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

Taken from meme: [x] ||No longer accepting||

Warning: This will get long and I will be very mad as I recount this story. Sorry for me getting really riled up about it, but ughhhhhhhhh I just can't. I have to tell the full story to really get the point across.

OKAY SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A PERSON. This person literallybecame the bane of my existence even though I didn't actually interact withthem in the truest sense.

Even though I wish for nothing more than for them to trip over arock and land on a pointy rock, I am still a bit grateful towards them. I'llget on that a lil later down the line.

Let's start with how I know them. As we may probably know, I'vestarted Tumblr rp'ing as an indie, with Haru Miura as my muse. A lot of theissues I have with tumblr rp'ing came about on her blog mainly. Ahahahathere were some hard times, but I stuck with it. I love Haru too much to justditch her, in other words. I'm a stubborn mule, what can I say?

Anyways, she's from the series: Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn! andthere are a lot of attractive male charas in the series. This fandom is justnotorious for the yaoi shipping. Like it's very hardcore. There are sometimeshetero ships too but not a lot of it.

Let's put it this way: I've been turned away many times with the'but my muse is gay' excuse. Like---- okay? Did I ask to get in their pants?No. Canonically, Haru is die-hard in love with 'Tsuna-san' so what now? Don'tuse that against me. B[

Again, lots of very attractive male charas... and these musesattracted a certain muse from the DNangel series. (yes the same one I mentionedin a different ask if you read that one) Daisuke has forever been ruined and Irefuse to even try to read the series because the situation just gave me somuch stress.

So the muse was set to a very young age, most probably the canonage. I forget if that meant he was 16 or younger. I don't know the series so Idon't know the age. Let me tell you, I have so many issues with the person. SO.MANY.

Where to start? There is the fact that even without eveninteracting with the muses to start, they'd instantly try to form relationswith them. Sending some suggestive memes or asks. You cannot just go to aGokudera and have Daisuke glomp him. It doesn't work that way? If you knowGokudera, you should know that he does NOT take kindly to people who act toofamiliar.

The mun could NOT understand for the life of her that mun=/=muse. They kept sending anons about why are they so mean? Be nice to that'Daisuke kid'. Um... no? How about you calm down a bit and actually try tointeract rather than jumping the gun? It was in their rules they wantCHEMISTRY. They want to take things slow and not jump the gun. You broke so manyof their rules. You kept sending in anon asks and even if they tried to talk toyou on im, you'd try to play all the pity cards.

I will NEVER EVER live down the fact that you told someone: I'mtaking medication because of you. It's because of you that I'm depressed so I'mtaking pills.

EXCUSE MOI!?!?!?!?!??!?? What is wrong withyou??????????????????? SHE ACTUALLY LEFT TUMBLR RP BECAUSE OF YOU. I LOST AFRIEND BECAUSE OF YOU. Then you have the gall to say that you never said it?I've seen the screenshots, don't mess with me.

I do NOT condone underaged things at all. Your muse is 16 andthere is no indication as to whether or not you (the mun) were underaged aswell. Of course people will be nervous about the way you kept trying to force18+ content on them. If you are underaged, that's illegal and that can makethings very complicated. People kept telling you they were uncomfortable withit, but all you'd say is: "Age is only a number!~"

YEAH? WELL, JAIL IS JAIL!

Now, I can think of at least 5 muses that I know were heavilyaffected by this person. I know for a FACT that at least 2 left because of themand their constant harassment. A very close friend of mine had to constantlytoggle between enabling and disabling anon asks because they'd send so many.

We don't understand how much anger and stress this caused me. Ireally detest seeing my friends bothered. Having two of them leave the rp sceneforever makes me so angry. They didn't really ever rp with any female muses.Only one that I saw and she was a space sheep alien... I'd show proof but theblogs have long since been deleted---.

Now, it isn't to say that they only targeted KHR muses. Therewere others too from DBZ, Jack Frost, Pitch, a final fantasy character (who Ican't remember), and many... many more.

If you didn't reply to them quickly enough, they would get madat you in im. They'd try to guilt trip you into answering quicker by sayingthings like they felt hated, why don't you like them? Are you avoiding them?Things of that nature. I've seen things of that nature from various people Italked to. I talked to a lot of people about their experiences with this mun.

You could see their ooc posts talking about how they felt and itsounded like this person just had a lot of self-confidence and perhaps trustissues. I know how that is. I felt maybe they were just misunderstood orsomething. IDK. I felt they could be given a chance to talk if someone tried toapproach them slowly. (more on this later)

Though I would look around and see all kinds of interactionswith other characters. Muns getting the same kind of harassments. It was evenWORSE when any of these muses interacted with a certain muse from the KHRfandom. Apparently the muses were dating? idk. Either way, Daisuke washorrendously jealous and territorial.

If you so much as interacted with that KHR muse or had anythingremotely flirty in thread, an anon was sure to tell you to back off. They'dgrill you with questions about 'how do you feel about them?' 'are you datingthem?' things like that. It's annoying. I saw those messages so much. That KHRmuse is sort of a main character so it's hard to NOT interact with them if youare in the KHR fandom?

Like what do you want? Chill out, boo.

I've seen many friends of mine just being harassed by anonsbecause they interacted with them. Hilariously enough that other mun didnothing about it. Even if people asked them to talk to that person. Make themstop harassing people. She apparently doesn't like drama and that's fine--- butif you are the REASON because a lot of the drama because your friend refuses tochill--- That is quite literally your problem.

I do not believe you are being a good friend if you allow suchbehavior to continue. Even if she had a reason to acting that horribly topeople, you could always try to explain to people so they understand. Whenpeople understand, they may be more willing to forgive. The fact that she didabsolutely nothing did absolutely nothing to help either of their case. In theend many people tried to avoid both muns.

I played a female muse so it was fine for me to continueinteracting with them though. I never got hassled by them. I unfollowed thatKHR muse the moment I saw that she went along with doing 18+ stuff with thatunderage muse. I personally couldn't do it. It made me think of something in myown past and it made me feel horrible. I still interact with them, but I don'tfollow em.

So I saw their condescending attitude on many blogs. This onepitch in particular kept getting hounded over why they wouldn't be kind to Daisuke.(We realize this is PITCH, yes?) They were getting hounded by anons over whythey wouldn't give Daisuke (a kid) a chance. Like, it's illegal, that's why.

They weren't replying quickly enough to the threads they onlydid in ask format. The person was getting upset with how 'slow' they werebeing. They had time for 'other people' so why were you avoiding their threads?Why can't you reply already? Then it happened: "I'll give you one morechance to thread with me."

Yes, that is what was sent. I'm dead serious. I got sent thattoo so I mean, yeah.

Let's move away from other people and let's talk about ME. As Isaid, they don't interact with male muses. The only muse that I could possiblyplay as (and was super duper attractive) was Shugarl. I had a lot of caps in mycomputer because I like his face.

I sort of rp'ed as him 2 years prior to that but it didn'treally last as the only friend I interacted with left tumblr rp because ofdrama. So I shelved Shugarl and the Knights from the 'Legend of the Sun Knight'series. So I was like okay why not.

They do know of me from Haru's blog, so I had to make analterego mun. I named them Jay. This version acts like Neo when she's justtired and done with the world. I had to pretend to be a new person. Iinteracted with a close friend who was hassled by Daisuke a ton, and then Iinteracted with the KHR muse that Daisuke apparently is shipping with. That'show Daisuke took the bait and contacted me.

It didn't take long. I mean if you look at how attractiveShugarl is, wouldn't you also bite? lol

Anyways, I tried to talk to them, but unfortunately at the timeI was really sick. I was on a lot of medication because of my gastritis. It wasmost probably stress induced but also because of my diet? When I'm stressed, Icrave spicy food. If you know those super hot fire noodles... let's say I livedon that for a while lol. So yeah it got bad. Just drinking water had methrowing up everything in my stomach. I lost 15+ pounds in under a month.

It was bad. My one medication had a side effect of extremedrowsiness. Let me tell you, EXTREME was right. I was constantly just passingout. So I wasn't around much to talk or thread. Let's say that started gettingthem mad.

Why wasn't I responding? Did I hate them? Stop ignoring them. Ikept having to sorta apologize for being 'busy' aka I was super sick but Ididn't want to admit that. I'm stupid like that, okay?

So I kept asking them how they wanted to interact. I didn't knowa thing about their muse so I asked for their about page. Or even a rules page.They didn't have one. Too much work. Okay no, they had an about page but it wasliterally like their url, the name, age, and gender or something. A very simplebio.

They told me to read wiki to learn about the muse. Are youkidding me? No rules because why do they need one? Mistake number 1. They keptsaying they read rules of many blogs but we know they didn't. They keptbreaking them. It was in Jay's rules to not pester them too much about activitybecause he was a busy college student.

Did that stop them? Nope. //squint

Now let me tell you, even if I was sick, I still visited tumblrevery day. So making them wait for 3-5 hours was too long. I was going to begraduating and I had finals. YEAH, I'M BUSY. I was also super duper sick. Iwon't be online every waking moment, please. Did that stop them from getting somad at me about it? Nope.

I told them that I felt that they were guilt tripping me becausethey kept lamenting over how people don't want to interact with them. They keepgetting 'bullied' by people. I told them that I felt they were guilt trippingme at the moment. They kept saying that they weren't before they blocked me.Then a week passed and they talked to me like 'sorry I accidentally blockedyou!'

Sure. okay.

So I was like 'okay we can thread but I want to talk to youabout how I felt you were guilt tripping me.'

INSTA-BLOCKED.

I'm not kidding. I got blocked by just that. Do you understandhow much my animosity spiked because of that? My blood was curdling I was somad.

So another like half a week passed and they say something alongthe lines of:

"I'll give you another chance, do you want to thread with meor not?"

"I already told you that I want to thread with you. Youkeep asking me this. This is the 5th time you asked me. How many times do Ihave to tell you yes? Do you not understand that I'm busy? I'm a collegestudent. I'm not always online. I also told you saying things like that isreally guilt trippy."

Insta-blocked. I was mad, so I went off so I can understand theblock.

Still.

After being blocked for the THIRD time, I soft-blocked them.They tried to follow me again and sent a message: hi! :) This time Iinsta-blocked them. Not about that life.

I love how they always started and talked with cat emojis. Bylove, I MEAN I HATE IT WITH A DIE HARD PASSION. It was like they cared fornothing that other people felt. It was their way or the high way. They couldn'tbother to learn to do anything for other people.

Don't get me started on the fact that they didn't tag anythingand they NEVER EVER CUT THREADS. NEVER. Do you know how hard it was for me tofind anything on that blog? One thread was over 100 notes long and it wasn'tcut. Let that sink in.

It was long.

I had them followed on Shugarl's first blog. Do you know what mydash looked like? It was one-liner 100+ note uncut thread HELL.

So in other words, I wanted to talk to them and be a friend.Someone that they could talk to. I tried to talk to them many times but theykept saying 'I'm feeling uncomfortable so I don't want to talk about thisanymore'.

Dude, one time all I said was: "I think you should tryputting up a rules page. A lot of people like seeing one."

"I feel uncomfortable so I want to talk about somethingelse."

.... wut. Like, WHAT? I was just... giving you advice? It wasthe start of our interactions too. I just-- what?

I kept asking them if they wanted me to write the starter andthey kept holding back like 'I want to talk it out first' because they didn'tknow my muse. So I explained to them and they kept asking stupid questions.

"So he's an angry human?" "I just told you he's a demon. Like, he’s a real demon." "Oh okay! :) So he's got special powers. He's got angelic powers?""No... I just told you he's a demon." "What powers does he have?" "He makes use of mathematical equations to summon blades and otherthings." "Oh okay."

5 mins later."Can you tell me more about his fire powers?" "... He doesn't have fire powers??? Are you even reading any of what I'msaying? You are the one who asked me to tell you about my muse. It's rude foryou to not be properly reading." "I don't feel comfortable anymore, so I'm going to go to bed. Bye! =^.^="

I legit felt like I got cancer from this person.

I'm so serious. I forever laugh how they tried to make mepromise to be nice to Daisuke.

"I can't promise that. Shugarl is a demon. He's not nice,but he can be nice towards kids sometimes. You need to make Daisukebehave."

"I can make him glomp him and have marshmallows!"

"He will literally kick Daisuke if you do that. I told youhe's not nice."

"He's such a meanie!"

"He's a literal demon."

It was like talking to a 5 year old.

So in the end, I tried to interact with them but they drove meso insane we didn't even get that far before I finally blocked them forever.

---

TLDR: I tried to give them a chance but I couldn't do it. Mypatience reached it's limit and I blocked them. This is the first and only rpblog I ever blocked to truly block them and not to softblock. All because ofthis person, the name 'Daisuke' makes me feel unjust rage, and I'll never everlook at DNangel the same way. I'll never even attempt to touch the serieseither.

#Anonymous ask #anonymous answered #Fatenet meme #Meme answered #answered ask #thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks

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kpopimaginesxxx · 7 years

Text

Sorry if this one really sucks, I’ve been out of the writing game for a while because I’ve been going through a lot of stuff, I’ll try to make this as good as possible.

"Ugh", you groan as you roll over on your side, your head pounding from the night before.

"Jay?" You ask, trying to find him but his side of the bed is empty. You clutch your forehead in your head as you try to remember the events from last night, but everything is such a big blur.

You slowly get up out of bed and make your way to the bathroom where you vomit up whatever is left in your stomach from last night. Jay hears this and makes his way to the bathroom and then leans on the threshold, he has his phone in his hand. You groan as you wipe your mouth with some toilet paper and flush the toilet.

"Had fun last night?" Jay asks, looking at something on his phone.

"I don't even remember what happened last night Jay." You slump against the floor, it feels like your brain is about to explode. "So just...cut me some slack on whatever it was." You throw your hand in his direction to tell him to leave you alone, but he shows you his phone anyway.

"Who's that Y/N?" He shows you a video of you dancing and grinding on a guy that's not him and naturally as your boyfriend, he got jealous.

"He-he's my best friend, we were celebrating him coming back from the military. I was so wasted I don't even remember doing any of that." As you looked at yourself on Instagram for the world to see, you felt yourself getting embarrassed because doing that kind of dancing is totally unlike you.

"So, you can dance like that for a guy you claim to be your 'best friend', but you won't do that for me?" He raises an eyebrow at you in inquisition and you give him his phone back. "I see how you are now Y/N. I see."

You let out a disgruntled sigh and say, "I don't remember doing any of that, you can't blame me Jay!"

His jealousy and anger get the better of him and he leaves the apartment without saying goodbye to you. You reluctantly get up off of the floor to grab your cellphone and give Jay a call. He doesn't answer and this pisses you off because you know that he's seeing you calling him and that he's just ignoring you. You try and not let it get to you though, he's just pissed off and he'll get over it eventually, plus it's not like he doesn't do the same thing every once in a while. It's not fair that you get the double standard while he doesn't get scolded for the same thing.

The whole day had passed before Jay came home and it's not unlike him to do things like that, but he didn't even call to say that he would be coming back at such a late time. You didn't even think that dancing with your best guy friend would upset him so much. You decide to surprise him with his favorite food to make up for what you did, and as you were cooking your phone buzzed, it was a text from another friend of yours. You pause your cooking and open up the message that she sent you and it was a screenshot from Jay's snap chat, he was putting his arm around another girl and he seemed to be a little too happy.

You instantly felt your blood begin to boil, "No, calm down, she's probably just a friend. It's nothing serious." You breathe calmly and continue cooking, but not even a minute later your friend sent you another screenshot where she is giving him a kiss on the cheek. You try to control what you are feeling and not let it get the better of you because it doesn't even make any sense to get upset when he's not even with you to try and explain himself.

About twenty five minutes after you are done cooking he arrives at home, "Mm, something smells good." He sets his things down on the sofa and comes into the kitchen. Before he's even able to to say two words to you, you pull our your phone and say,

"I would like you to explain this, and this." You show him the two photos that your friend sent to you.

"Ahh, doesn't feel so good now, does it?"

"You're still upset about what happened?" Your voice got slightly higher as you were starting to become a little frustrated.

"No, I got over that a while ago. You didn't think about how your actions could affect me, but most importantly, you never apologized. So I decided to get back at you and make you jealous." Jay crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I never apologized to you. I promise that I will never ever get that wasted again, unless it's around you." He chuckled at that and pulled you in for a hug.

"But seriously, who is that girl?"

#jay park #jay park imagine #jay park imagines #jay park scenario #jay park scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop imagine #khh imagine #khh imagines #kpopimaginesxxx

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188936203-blog · 7 years

Text

I want to start off from the beginning, when this all started. When Eumae was in a bad mood and initially yelled at Nezumi for flirting. At this point, Nezumi wasn't having her attitude, mostly because it felt like she was putting all the blame on his shoulders-- Tem was responding to the flirting and giving signals to encourage him, and it felt like she was treating Nezumi as if he were putting himself somewhere he wasn't welcome. So he acted bratty-- which I apologized for afterwards, but at the time Nezumi didn't care and I kind of didn't either?

I don't remember what happened right before she blocked me, but nothing that important. Life went on. I started talking to you about things as well as Bo's mun, and Mars' mun. I found out she lied about our muses being sexually involved and just to what extent she went to make Bo believe that our muses weren't doing anything (I'm still disgusted by this honestly). I think what she was doing to Bo alone, was enough for me to be so fucking tired of her. And I was really done for a while. I mean, really and truly done. Ready to give her up. Which is weird for me because it's hard for me to give anyone up. But I hated what I saw?

Then, Eumae mentioned Nezumi on twitter and complained about being replaced, which pissed the shit out of me. Because this happened after she saw Tem and Nezumi talking, and then proceeded to message me on her male muse to say she didn't want anything to do with me. It hurt but I remember steeling myself and being strong because I had you guys at my back. I had all the things she lied about and did to others to make me feel like I could get over the pain of losing such a long time friend. When she mentioned Nezumi on twitter, and complained about being replaced, I went the fuck off because she was the one who told me she wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

I was tired of posting things on my twitter so I went to her directly on AIM-- and I screenshotted the entire thing (except for all the screenshots I sent her as well as her screenshots of apologies to others) in case you wanted to see. I went to her and explained to her why I was done and unhappy with her. I explained to her that I didn't feel like I even knew who she was anymore, that I felt lied to, that I was beyond devastated knowing I had STOOD UP FOR HER on so many occasions when I've had so many people say things about her. I may be bluring conversations a little bit but I do remember telling her I was hurt about this at some point. She kept going on defending herself and even went so far as to tell me she missed me me and regretted what she said (to me and to you about me), and I was really fucking angry about this honestly. I wasn't fucking having this conversation with her, I was beyond done at this point. In fact at a certain point I was so done that I muted her conversation and let her talk herself out, and I almost didn't even look or respond again.

But I looked. I didn't read it very much though because I was done at that point and responded to a very small point. She kept going, she kept trying to explain, she showed me her apologies to others so that I could have insight on how things were from her end. And then she gave me this bullshit about not knowing how to apologize to me. My response to her shitty half assed apology was this: "I don't really know how I feel about stuff. Do I wanna lsoe you? No. But I'm not sure where we go frm here... if things would even feel okay."

She didn't answer for a couple days, and I really wanted to wrap up the conversation more than anything. I saw her posting and all over my muse's friends' dicks so I posted asking for someone to tell her to message me. That's what you saw that day. I wanted to finish up this conversation. I basically reiterated what I said. I don't have the conversation anymore because I actually unfollowed them and deleted the conversation today (I'm beating myself up for this right now) but when we first started talking, I really just told them I couldn't fully trust them, but I didn't want to lose my friend.

And here's the thing about this. Anyone who has known me for any amount of time, knows that I care way too much about the people in my life. Once I care about you that's kind of it. It takes a whole hell of a lot to make me stop caring. Letting go? Fuckin' forget about it. You could ask Natalia, I could have her tell you. I could ask any of my old rp friends that I no longer speak to. The one thing I hate doing is letting go, saying goodbye, giving up on anyone. I've being doing this shit for ten years now, and I've seen a lot of shitty things. Shittier things than you can imagine, worse than anything Natalia has done, worse than all the things I've heard people accuse Lars of doing. I've honestly sat on the bathroom floor multiple times contemplating my own suicide, and this time last year was probably the closest I've ever gotten to really doing it. If it had happened just an hour or two earlier, the whole ordeal? I think I would honestly be dead right now.

I've gone through so much pain and heartache, but the thing is I'll keep taking it until I break. Nat, for instance, the mun who was behind the first muse I ever shipped with in KRP. I had a Taehyung, my favorite muse of all time here. And I felt a connection between our muses and let them date. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. I lost internet for nearly a month, but would wake up early in the mornings to go to work just to talk to her (she lived in Australia). On their one month Jimin thought Tae forgot about the date over a miscommunication and then they shut themselves off. They stopped trying. They ran to our mutual best friend. Jimin was in the arms of Jungkook instead for a whole month, not bothering to say anything. I had to get tired of how Nat was treating me and my muse and finally broke it off. I found out Jimin was falling for Jungkook and that's why he stopped giving a shit about Tae. Three days later they were already together. For the first month Jimin put up with Tae being heartbroken, but when it didn't subside he got angry. When Tae couldn't just get back up and be happy and lighthearted he would fight with Tae. Nat would yell at me. She would be pissed that I was still hurt by how she so completely betrayed me. Tae was alone, so he told Tae to make friends. Tae made friends. Then Jimin got fucking jealous of his new friends and thought they got too much of his attention, when Tae never left him on read. They fought so many times. Jimin stopped being friends with Tae because Tae liked the person Jimin almost left Jungkook for, and found out he was lying about things to Jungkook. And Nat pushed me out.

I'm telling you this quick summary (that leaves out a lot of the details tbh) because Nat put me through so many horrible things. I spent so many nights crying over her, dealing with her muse being moody and unhappy with anything my muse did to try and be happy after being betrayed by his two best friends. I got dragged endlessly for two years over and over again. But you know what? I always came back. I always forgave them. I always took the blame for everything. I wanted Nat to stay because she was my friend at one point and even behind all the nasty things she did to me I loved her. I can't evne write this wihtout crying because Nat and Jay and Babytan were the first group of friends I had here. They were everything to me. I gave them my all, between now and then I haven't felt this strongly about my muse or their relationships. And it still tears me up because Nat doesn't think she hurt me as much as she did. She doesn't see how she emotionally abused me and made it nearly impossible for me to have a muse without a huge glaring flaw that would ultimately make my muse lose everyone. It's been damn near impossible to pick my muses back up since then. And it was only until about two months ago when I finally messaged them one last time. I think it finally killed me when she said she stopped caring about me a long time ago. She was no longer the Nat I knew.

And the sad thing is? If she came back tomorrow and said she was sorry for everything, I would take her back. I would be overjoyed. I would set aside all that pain and hurt and anger and take her back so fucking quick.

There are others that I have awful memories with, but if they came to me to apologize and own up for what they did, I would take them back. Why? Because I'm kind and forgiving and I care too much, and I always belive that someone can change. I always give people chances. Rarely do I ever listen to that voice in my head telling me not to do something, that it's a bad idea. And I always end up hurt for it. Natalia... I didn't like how she didn't actually have an apology for me. And in the last few days, with all the fighst we've had, I've noticed that she has yet to apologize. She even said she never once called my muse distasteful, but you literally showed me that she did? This whole time since speaking to her again on Twitter has been so fucking stressful because there's the part about me that cares about her and wants to look past what she's done because she said she was sorry and she missed me. She's my friend, Hunter. Or least she was. She was there when Jimin broke Tae in half. She was there when Remi and Sophie used me and my muse to get to each other. She was there for every person who came and went that hurt my muse, that hurt me, and always helped me back up. She was my strength before I had any of my own. And when I think about not being friends with her anymore, I think about losing all of that. I think about losing the friend I had all this time.

I'm so tired of losing friends. Because I give my all into everything. I give my heart to everyone who gives me the time of day and anyone who even bothers to learn my name and doesn't forget it is so fucking special to me. Because I see everyone here with all their friends they've had for years and years but I don't have that. And Natalia is the closest thing I have to that. She's the one person who's been there the longest and hasn't given up on me. She's seen my muses progress. She's helped me along the way. So you have to understand that me and her ending our friendship is going to be so incredibly difficult for me. It's not something I can do and just get over instantly, like i thought I could at first. No, it's more complicated than that. It's seeing her appear and feeling that twinge of jealousy. It's seeing her all over my fucking friends and wondering why she has to do that when she knows I'm gonna see it. When she told me she didn't even LIKE those people. And now she's all up their asses with her new muse.

And see, this has been an issue ever since I started talking to her new muse again. You saw her say my muse was distasteful, you saw how she compared my muse to Joo in a negative light, and that she didn't like it. She's also said shitty slut shaming things to my muse in the past in the heat of fights in the past. So it's not something new she's felt, it's something she's always thought even though she always tries to brush it off like she doesn't feel that way. But she keeps bringing it up. And if she wanted to think that way, fine, whatever, you don't have to fucking like what my muse does. But what really ticks me off is that her new muse is just as bad IF NOT WORSE than my own when it comes to flirting and sleeping around. I'm pretty sure he does more of it than my muse ever did honestly. Because he's actually trying to get into everyone's pants and my muse is mostly joking when he says shit publicly. So my muse flirting and sleeping around is distasteful, but hers isn't?

And then, the thing with Sanggil and Yoongi. Nezumi started fooling around with Yoongi one day, like it just happened and it just kept going on. Sanggil was his boyfriend, and it was an open relationship, but I think they had a fight of some sort? And Sanggil took it upon himself to threaten Nezumi over Yoongi. Which, the entire time I was talking to them ooc (both of them) and things were fine. Both of their muns LOVED Nezumi and it wasn't going to become something super shitty or extend into ooc drama. It was totally okay. But Natalia decide to put her two cents in and told me that was my muse was doing was messy, and that I shouldn't have gotten involved to begin with (when Yoongi never even said anything about having a boyfriend until one day I looked at their twitter and saw a pinned tweet about him being in open relationship).

But here her muse is, flirting with and fucking both of them. The other night Ari called Yoongi "theirs". And today when Nezumi mentioned something sexually explicit that happened between himself and Sanggil, Ari had the audacity to ask "Why him of all people? He's mine." LIKE. I CAN'T FUCKING STAND THIS SHIT BECAUSE ALL MY MUSE DID WAS SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHO DIDNT TALK ABOUT EVEN BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP, and then got accepted by BOTH of them and did nothing to disturb their relationship. But here Ari is, talking to both of them during their break up, FUCKING THEM BOTH and knowing that by doing this with her muse she's dividing them, and IM THE MESSY ONE??? And she's literally fucking claiming them with her muse when NEITHER OF THEM belong to her muse. Sanggil and Yoongi love each other, they're gonna work shit out, and Ari is worming his way in and trying to get them to love him instead? Like in all honesty it looks like Ari wants Sanggil for himself. And I'm so fucking pissed off. I've been talking about their behavior the entire time I've been speaking to Natalia again. I've talked to Sanggil's mun multiple times bc I was so pissed off, every day at least one or twice. I've also talked to Yoongi's mun and told them that it's pissing me off. I'VE BROUGHT IT UP TO NATALIA AS WELL, MULTIPLE TIMES NOW. I almost started a fight with her in a rabbit today, actually.

The thing is. I'm really fucking torn because part of me is crying and desperately wanting Natalia back because she was so much to me these past few years. But part of me really fucking despises everything she's been doing lately? And I mean every fucking thing. But I can't just walk away, she's going to be there. She's gonna be right in fucking front of me trying to take my fucking friends away from me. Nezumi doesn't like Ari. I dont' like Ari. And I don't like how Natalia can't even apologize for basically slut shaming my muse and then going off and making a new muse that's essentially a copy of mine. And then going off to fuck all my fucking friends???

Natalia knows everything I've said about her. I've never said a word to one person that I wouldn't say to anyoen else. Natalia knows that I think she's a massive fucking hypocrite right now. She knows I hate her muse. She knows Nezumi hates her muse. We've fought over it daily. The only time we've gotten along recently is when we spoke ooc mostly and even then it was tense. It's not okay. It's not like shit is just fine and dandy again. Because it's actually still awful. It's been awful this whole time. She keeps pissing me the fuck off. And I don't know if I can be her friend anymore because she really doesn't seem to care what she's doing? All these years she's told me her male muses wouldn't be affectionate with mine and they'd nevre be close, but here she is flaunting in my face her doing exactly that with other male muses. She doesn't even realize she's hurting me that much?? She has no fucking idea that this has all built up for so long and it's not just what's going on right in this moment. And honestly the longer I write about this to you the more I realize I don't think staying her friend is good for me-- but how do I let go of all this love? How do I handle watching her throw herself at my friends?

I could keep going on. But I want you to understand that this isn't done and over with. We didn't make up and become happy friends again. That's not the case. I've wanted to end it multiple times since I decided to talk to her again. And I think regardless of whether you had messaged me tonight and said anything, I think I would have drawn that conclusion anyway, because I was gonna spend this time laying out why what she's doing right now to me is truly fucking awful, and i don't think she would have been sorry in the slightest.

What I want to express to you though, is that I'm really hurt. Because the thing is, through all of this I've vented to you. I've told you all the things I felt in sadness and pain, I've shown you my anger for what she did to me and to Bo and to others. I showed you how disappointed and upset it made me to see that the things people said about her weren't false, and that she had led me astray. I showed that to you, I showed that to Bo, I showed it to the people who would understand the most because they saw that side of her too. I was fucking blown away realizing that this person I thought i knew, I really didn't know. And I showed that to you, and now you're wary because I expressed my feelings and pain of everything to you. I'm so fucking hurt right now, that it's enough for you to think you can't trust me. All because I don't know how to let go of someone, even when they hurt me. I don't know how to change that. I'm just so weak that I don't know if I can handle watching her everywhere and know that we aren't friends anymore. Not after everything we've been through. You assumed you knew what was going on between us, you assumed that we were fine again, and you let yourself decide that you would push my muse out and I can't stop crying because I don't know how to stop being so caring.

She could be the worst person in the world but that doesn't change the fact that I poure dmy everything into her and I don't want to just-- let that all go. I know I should. I know I should just be done and do better for myself. I should focus on better friends, friends who don't mislead me or my muses, friends who don't talk behind my back and then try to say they didn't say something I have a screenshot of them saying, friends who make me hide things from my other friends like she did with Bo. But it's so fucking difficult. And the worst thing is I was this close to having dropped her on my own. But you had already decided I wasn't worth your trust.

I haven't lied to anyone. I have been transparent with everyone to the point hwere I hated it because I felt like a total jerk. I've let people down and been so blunt lately that even I wish I could have lied-- but it's not me. I don't just go around and decide to talk shit about people. I mean the closest I've gotten to doing that lately is complaing about this Benji kid who keeps insulting other "daddies" in krp like he's the only good one and it's super fucking annoying. I vented to you and to others about my feelings. I heard stories from you and from others and couldn't believe my eyes. I vented my feelings about what I was being told right then and there. I told you how I felt, I showe dyou my pain, I showed you how hurt I was to find out all these things. And you don't trust me now because I showed you those things. You're acting as if these aren't things I haven't said to her, but the moment she came at me on Twitter, I went to her on AIM and really wasn't fucking having any of her shit for a good majority of the conversation. I told her all the things I told everyone else. I showed her the things people said, I showed that I was saying things too. And this whole time that I've been irritated by Ari, I've only talked to other muns who were also involved, and herself. She knows how I feel. I'm not going behind anyone's back. I'm not talking shit. I'm EXPRESSING my feelings. The feelings that haven't really changed because she hasn't really apologized for what she did and she's definitely not apologizing for creating a muse so alike mine that she's made herself look like the biggest hypocrite I've ever fucking seen.

Like I can't stress enough how painful all of this is. I already know in my heart that Natalia and I are pretty much done. And I'm literally shaking because... I gave so much of me to this friendship? And I'm going to have to let og of it. I'm so tired of being alone. I'm so tired of being transparent and giving everyone my all. I'm so tired of still being pushed down and not trusted, of not being cared for the same way. ANd maybe I'm making too much otu of this but you really want to stop shipping with me, you don't trust me, because Im trying so hard to avoid the fact that this friendship is over.

Tem was the first muse in a year or so that made any of my muses feel alive again. Tem, I felt like I could actually trust not ot hurt my muse, someone I could give my muse to and know that it wasn't going to just... fade away or break apart. And I felt for some reason that I could trust you without a doubt to be a good mun too. I felt so comfortable with you right off the bat. And this really hurts. You're pulling away when I've never been anything but honest about how I feel about everything to everyone. I rwish I had just removed Natalia because Im honestly cyring like a giant fucking baby becaise you feel like this. I don't even want my muse anymore. Im so sick of putting my all into soemthing and still losing everything. WHen will it ever work out for me? When will my muse not get the shit end of the stick? Why does Natalia still come out on top getting evreything she wants and I lose the one thing that was making my muse feel complete again?

I can't even hardly breathe righ tnow. I dont think you understand... and I don't want this to be another thing wher eyou get guilted into doing something. I feel like it's all ruined now no matter what I do. I hate myself for being so caring. I wish I could have just let her go. I would rather not have her in my life, if it meant having your trust. And Im sorry I ruiend that. Im so sorry.

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