#sorry to have kept you waiting <3 i hope you don't give up on this novel <3

[danhoemei]

i had liu yao on my list to read forever, never got around it and recommended it to a friend and now she asked what it's about. Could i ask you for a summary, pls? :)

ANON YES BUT I'M NOT SURE I CAN GIVE A SHORT ONE

I rambled about liu yao here and here, so you can check if it's enough for you. The description on liu yao's carrd is also quite good:

What does it mean to seek immortality? Those who have ascended were human once, but do they ever stop yearning for the world they once roamed?

In the age of immortals and would-be immortals, ten-year-old Cheng Qian leaves his family to apprentice under the Sect Leader of the obscure Fuyao Mountain Sect. What follows next is a hundred-year-long tale of blood and sweat, tears and heartbreak, but also love and laughter, joy and triumph, and most importantly, a journey of finding that sometimes, a home isn’t always a place, but the beloved family that you make for yourself along the way.

And here I'll give/repeat a few points that I liked (tried to keep the info vague or as minor spoilers for the beginning of the novel):

the reader is closely taken through the character's cultivation progress (basically what I wrote here)

we meet the characters when they're small children and get to see their development, what exactly shaped them, why they had inclinations to some choices, or how their relationships with each other were built gradually and naturally

the characters aren't high and mighty from the start, which made them more real and relatable

typical for Priest's works subversion of some tropes, e.g. the spoiled and lazy peacock young master walks one of the toughest paths in Dao (which also usually produces aggressive and crude people, opposite to our niangniang), the cold-faced and snarky MC who is obsessed with getting stronger entered Dao through his heart, their shimei is quite unruly and powerful and there isn't fawning over her looks (which is what I usually see in danmei if a girlTM exists among the main characters); AND MORE, but i can't say much without more spoilers

cultivation and sects are kinda dissed instead of praised and fawned over, especially at the beginning, which was very fun and refreshing to read

I love how the pursuit of immortality is presented in liu yao. What even is immortality? If we shed all care about the world and ascend to merge with Dao... what's the difference between that and dying?

FOUND FAMILY AT ITS FINEST, LIKE LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF THE TROPE

very slow burn, and the story pulled me in so much that I didn't even feel impatient for the romance

very funny, I laughed SO MUCH

but also cried :') I cry very rarely, so when a story manages to make me cry I gain additional respect for its ability to raise such emotions in a reader. And liu yao made me cry a few times :')

so yeah, it's a very interesting story with great world-building and a variety of distinct characters. It has some flaws ofc, sometimes the pacing got a bit slow and I had to harden myself to keep going, and the ending has a few open threads that could've been resolved but weren't. But I still love this novel so much 💚💚 one of my favs fr

[7seas-of-ryy]

I Need You | Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Author’s Note: I can't thank you guys enough for reading my writing. I'm looking forward to your thoughts on this part <3

Summary: You were saved but you still have so many questions. Trying to sort everything out might be harder than it seems.

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Talks of torture, self hatred, angst, let me know if I need to add any others :)

"I've healed her as much as I can. Now she needs rest." you heard Madja speak

Darkness.

"I failed her, Rhys" you heard Cassian cry softly

Darkness.

"Thank you for saving her" you heard Feyre gently speak

Darkness.

"I forgot about her, then let Elain convince me to stay for longer. Let her convince me that y/n would be ok waiting a little bit longer for me." Azriel yelled

Well, that explains why he didn't show up.

"She's awake" Rhys stated

Both of the Illyrian males hurried over to you.

"Hey sunshine, how are you feeling" Your High Lord and good friend smiled softly down at you

"I'm fine" you whispered, voice hoarse from all the screaming you had been doing

Rhys hesitated, clearly knowing you were not fine. He didn't want to push you but he couldn't leave you alone after everything that just happened.

"Cassian told me most of what happened but there are certain parts he can't fill in. I don't want you to have to relive it but it might help us figure out why you were their target" he spoke so softly, as if speaking too loud would break you

Once he asked to see, it all hit you. The questions about Nyx, so many questions about him, you started to panic. Tears filled your eyes. He needed to know, he needed to understand that you didn't tell your torturers anything. You started hyperventilating, panicking, you had to let him know you were strong enough to withstand the pain.

"Rhys I promise I never broke. I never told them anything. No matter how much they hurt me, I swear. They asked so many times but I never broke, I swear I promise I was strong-" your sobs cut you off and Rhys bent down and pulled you into a tight hug.

"Shh I know. You did so well, please don't worry about any of that" he spoke into your neck, his own tears now pouring down his face.

You couldn't control yourself. Still terrified of saying, doing the wrong thing. You were shaking and crying hysterically. You knew they needed to see what you were tortured over so you sent the thought out hoping Rhys would understand what you were doing. He knew immediately, standing up and giving you a small nod.

You showed him everything, still shaking and crying. Azriel reached out for you and you let him. You needed anything, anyone to anchor you. He wrapped his arms around you and you cried in his chest.

Azriel looked at Rhys and saw the pained look on his face as the scene was happening in his head. Once he saw it all, he ran out of the room muttering something about a sleep tonic. The shadowsinger held you even tighter as if he could put all the pieces of you back together.

"I'm so sorry, you needed me and I wasn't there. I'm so sorry, so so sorry...." He kept repeating. You wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault, to help take away the guilt he was feeling but all you could think about was Cass repeating that same thing in the dungeon.

Just like that, the terror built up inside you. Your mind tricking you into thinking you were back in the chains being tortured. You started kicking and screaming, Azriel holding you down so you wouldn't hurt yourself.

"Rhys, you got that sleep tonic? Anytime now!" He shouted hoping his friend was coming

Moments later, Rhys winnowed in the room with Madja. Once she assessed the situation, she looked grim.

"Sleep tonics will not work, this is too severe. Move, boy." Madja spoke, pushing the spymaster away and setting her hands on you.

You started to settle and slowly fell asleep.

"This won't last long. I can only fix the physical pain or symptoms. Her mind tricked her body into thinking she was being tortured again. I eased that pain but it will take a lot more to ease the pain inside her," the healer looked at them with sorrow, "I'm sorry but this is as much as I can do for her."

Azriel immediately sat in the chair next to your bed, holding your hand with both of his. Rhys patted him on the back and left to try and figure more out.

You slept for 2 straight days, with Az never leaving your side. He couldn't believe he let this happen. You were his best friend, and more than that he had always been in love with you. After everything with Mor, he couldn't risk getting hurt again or losing you so he pushed his feelings away. It was the most painful thing he had done and once Elain came along he thought it would be easier to keep himself wrapped up in her.

He deeply regretted that now. You would hate him now. He forgot about you, left you there alone. He wouldn't be surprised if you never spoke to him again.

Lucien slowly entered the room, "How is she?" he asked Azriel

"Not great but she'll get there... thank you," his voice broke, "I haven't gotten a chance to tell you yet, thank you for saving her"

Lucien nodded at the male, a solemn look upon his face, "She didn't deserve any of this. I knew you and Elain had been spending time together and it pissed me off. She's my mate, but I knew she wanted you and not me, so I suffered in silence because I thought I deserved it..." he paused, "Y/n has always been kind to me. Accepted me the moment she saw me with Feyre. Offered her company when she knew Elain was away with you so I wouldn't have to be alone. She did not deserve any of this. She did not deserve to be pushed aside and forgotten."

Azriel stared at him, stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it not knowing what to say, opened it again, "...I-"

"Do not hurt her again." Lucien stated, cutting him off and walked out of the room with one last look at you.

His shadows swirled around him, covering his neck to comfort him. They had been all over you for the most part. Wrapped around your arms and legs or nuzzled in your hair. After a while they whispered to him, she's waking up.

Your eyes slowly opened and the male at your side quickly stood to grab you some water. He helped you sit up in the bed against the wall and you both sat in silence for a while. You could tell he hadn't been sleeping, the bags under his eyes were the worst they had ever been.

"Sunshine" Az said, and it made you flinch.

You felt like your soul was the darkest its ever been. You weren't sunshine, you were storms and pain. You felt disgusted with yourself, hated yourself for being caught so easily. For allowing Cassian to be taken and have to witness everything. You hated yourself for causing everyone so much trouble and pain. You wished you died in that dungeon.

Cassian, Rhys, and Feyre all walked in. Feyre had a kind, hesitant smile, Rhys looked relieved that you were awake and not freaking out, and Cassian wouldn't even look at you. You assumed he was probably upset with you for dragging him into this and getting him tortured.

"Do you know why they picked me?" you asked quickly, so you wouldn't have to keep seeing their sad looks

"We're still not entirely sure. We know they were trying to find out things about Nyx but they could have taken any one of us for that." Feyre stated

"Maybe they thought I was the weakest and easiest to get answers out of?" you guessed.

"No, it felt very personal towards you y/n. It was like he hated you, don't get me wrong, he enjoyed beating me up but he was ecstatic to hurt you" Cassian spoke, still avoiding eye contact

"How did Lucien even find us?" you asked

"All he said was that Eris sent him a location and told him he needed to get there right away but that no one could see him there. Once he got there, he heard your screams and ran to save you. We've been trying to contact Eris but he hasn't responded." Rhys spoke

"I'm going to find whoever did this, and I'm going to slowly tear them to shreds" Azriel growled softly, still holding your hand.

"I don't understand what I did wrong-" you voice wavered and there it was. The look everyone was giving you made you feel sick. They knew you were broken now, you couldn't hide it anymore. You coughed to try and cover up the weakness in your voice.

"But we'll figure it out and I'll be ok. We'll all be ok. Now, I'm starving so I would love to join you guys for a meal tonight." You tried to smile at them. You needed them to think you were fine, that you were strong. They didn't need a weak link in their group. The last thing you wanted to do was eat but you figured that might convince them you were all good.

The four of them stared at you as if you grew a third eye on your head.

"Maybe you should take it easy, I can bring some food to you" Azriel suggested.

"Yeah that would be easier" the rest of them agreed.

"C'mon guys seriously, I'm fine. Give me a couple minutes to get dressed and I'll head down. I can try to help figure out what this is all about before we eat." you said weakly

"No. You are staying up here and resting. If you are hungry, one of us will get you food." Rhys commanded in a tone that left no room for negotiation.

"Is that an order from my High Lord or an order from my boss" you asked harshly

"It's an order from your friend." he softly stated, "let us know if you need anything"

The three of them left but Az stayed at your side. You didn't want to be alone but you also didn't want anyone to see you fall apart, which was about to happen any minute.

"Az, can you give me some time alone? I just need to think" you felt bad but you needed to be strong

Azriel gave you a sad smile, nodded, and headed for the door. The second it clicked shut, your facade fell apart. You began softly crying, you laid there all night like that until you finally cried yourself to sleep.

You didn't see the lone shadow in the corner of your room watching over you, and you didn't know Azriel slept outside your room on the floor all night long just in case you needed him.

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[asterr1sk]

no space between us

⊹₊ ⋆ kang taehyun wc: 701 genre: fluff, secret relationship, jealousy a/n: thank you to the anon who requested this. i was giggling so much at the end.

you've been in a relationship with taehyun for months now. it was difficult to keep it low knowing that your friends are basically his friends too. there were some instances where they almost found out, but they guessed that you were just close friends.

all of you went out to the mall and did some shopping. taehyun obviously stuck around you while the others were trailing behind.

"hey, guys! we should get lunch." yeonjun called out to both of you, and they walked closer. "maybe we can eat chinese food," he suggested.

"but i'm craving japanese food right now~" beomgyu countered.

"oh! me too! i want katsudon!" you exclaimed as you grinned at beomgyu. "two versus one!" he said proudly.

"i'm fine with any," soobin said while the other two nodded. "sure, let's go," yeonjun said as he was defeated. you and beomgyu high-fived at each other and started to think of restaurants.

the group finally arrived and ordered food. taehyun can't help but observe how the waiter looked at you differently. maybe he was just seeing things. the food came, and everyone began to eat their food. you noticed that your drink still hadn't come, unlike the others, so you asked the waiter. taehyun saw how enthusiastic the waiter was when talking to you.

"sorry, miss. i forgot," he said, placing the glass on top of a folded napkin. "it's okay," you said, smiling lightly. taehyun, on the other hand, was questioning why your napkin was folded compared to theirs.

the napkin underneath your drink was bothering you because it wasn't balancing the glass. you took it off and unfolded it, seeing what was written. "sorry again for the drink. this was not planned, but i took it as a chance to give you my number. call me xxxxxxxxx :)"

soobin sitting beside you, was being nosy and saw what was written. "oh, a guy is hitting on y/n." he said teasingly, and immediately everyone kept bugging you except for one.

"y/n, for the love of god, get a boyfriend!" beomgyu begged. "will y/n finally break free of the friendzone curse?" kai added while wrapping his arm around beomgyu's, looking like they were praying.

"you guys really have no shame, huh?" your heart was beating fast. not that they were teasing, but you don't know how to react. you tried not to stare at taehyun, hoping not to make this situation worse if someone were to ask what as going on between you two. he was weirdly quiet in this situation.

"i'm sure taehyun would be fine knowing his friend is happy, right?" yeonjun teased, and they continued on. the atmosphere was getting tense. taehyun was still not reacting much, but seeing that he had paid for the dinner, he wanted to get out of that place.

the day went on, but taehyun was walking closer to you than ever. thank god, they still don't question it. kai then saw a photo booth and wanted to take pictures with everyone. all of you were squeezed together in the booth.

they were bickering and complaining with each other, trying to find comfortable positions before taking a photo. since they were too busy, you and taehyun were in a different world.

"tyun, are you okay with that whole thing at the restaurant? i'm sorry that i didn't do-" he cut you off. "it's fine. i decided we should tell the others," he whispered.

"okay, i'll press the button. are you ready?" soobin said, and the timer was starting.

3 2 1... you and taehyun put cat ears on each other.

"another one!" yeonjun shouted.

3 2 1... you pinched taehyun's cheek while he was cupping yours.

"wait! i'll do this pose. beomgyu, do it with me." kai was posing, and beomgyu copied him.

3 2 1... taehyun put a half heart and you jokingly put a thumbs up next to his.

"let's do this together. come on!" yeonjun gave an example, and everyone followed.

3 2 1... taehyun kissed your cheek.

the other four immediately looked at the preview. you looked at taehyun wide-eyed while you heard screaming at the back. he pulled you in closer and kissed you properly on the lips.

[ashwhowrites]

Dad!eddie x pregnant mom!reader who is suffering with severe pregnancy brain and she forgets to do something important and Eddie gets upset with her, raises his voice a little. He just needs a second to cool down so he leaves the house and reader is just distraught with her hormones and when he comes back he doesn’t realize he left her so vulnerable and upset it really wasn’t a big fight so his heart is broken seeing her tears so he needs to make it up to her

LOVE the angst in this. I hope this is what you were hoping for and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting<3

Missed call

Y/N was just days away from going into labor. She waddled everywhere, constantly in pain, and had a bad case of pregnancy brain. She put soap in the fridge and butter in the shower, and Eddie had a good laugh about it. She spaced constantly on the laundry, piling up. She tried to get out of the fog, but she couldn't.

Eddie was patient and understanding of it. He found it adorable how she'd walk into the room and pout because she couldn't remember why. He tried his best to help her remember things, and help around the house.

Eddie was gone at a meeting as Y/N cleaned the kitchen. Her attention was cut short when the house phone rang, she moved as fast as she could.

"Hello, this is the Munson's, how can I help you?" Eddie's PR manager talked on the other line. Y/N wrote down the important message that had to be delivered to Eddie immediately. Y/N hung up the phone and tucked the piece of paper in her pocket. Eddie didn't get personal calls until lunch, so she had a few hours before she could call.

~~~

Eddie slammed the front door as he marched through the house. Y/N easily could tell he was upset as he sat on the couch, angrily throwing his shoes. She grabbed him a beer and sat next to him. He grabbed the beer as she softly played with his hair. He felt his body relaxing as he leaned against the couch.

"what's wrong?" She asked, her fingers massaging his head.

"Tracy bitched me out for missing a meeting for a late night talk show that I had no idea about! I tried to explain that i was unaware of it but she wouldn't give me a chance to fucking speak. " Eddie ranted, going on and on but Y/N felt the guilt in her bones. Her hand reached into her pocket, the piece of paper with the message she never called about.

"Um, babe?" She said quietly, Eddie hummed and looked at her. His hand was on her knee as he waited for her to speak.

"She called the house and told me. I wrote it all down! I just forgot to call you on your break. I'm sorry." Y/N apologized, handing him the crumpled piece of paper.

Eddie knew he shouldn't get upset at her, it was the pregnancy brain. But he missed a huge opportunity because of it.

"DAMMIT Y/N!" He groaned, getting off the couch, and ran his hand over his face. She jumped at his loud voice, sinking into the couch as he paced in front of her.

"WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS NOW?" he screamed, throwing the piece of paper on the floor. Y/N felt tears in her eyes as he shouted. He was shouting around her, not directly in her face but it almost felt like it.

"I'm sorry!" She cried, tears falling down her face as she tried to stand up. She struggled but made it to her feet. Reaching for his hands. She smiled through her tears when he allowed her to hold his hands. Her hands softly held his.

"This would have been a huge opportunity for me, Y/N." He wasn't yelling anymore but she knew he was still mad. His voice was stern and low.

"I know! It slipped my head, and I completely forgot." She explained. Eddie nodded as he took away his hands. She quickly tried to grab them again but he stepped back.

"I just need a second, okay?" He groaned, throwing on his shoes as he grabbed his keys.

"WAIT! Baby don't leave! Just come relax on the couch, I'll go to the room." She pleaded. But he kept walking towards the door.

"I said I need a second. Your pregnancy brain is out of control and it needs to be fixed" He snapped and slammed the door. Y/N covered her mouth as she sobbed. She always fucked everything up because of her pregnancy brain. It was always the little things but now she cost Eddie a huge opportunity in his career.

~~~

Eddie sighed as he rubbed his face. The loud bar filled his ears as he tried to calm down. He called a friend to come sit with him, he needed to vent but couldn't stand to watch his wife cry because of him.

"So let me get this straight, your PR manager called your house phone, instead of your personal cell to deliver this huge important message and left it with your wife. The wife that is like two days away from birth is suffering from pregnancy brain, and you yelled at her instead of your PR manager? The manager should have called you in the first place." Steve explained, a frown on his face.

"Son of a bitch," Eddie groaned, smacking his head against the bar counter. "You're right. God, I am like the biggest asshole, and easily the worst husband." The guilt ate him alive. It wasn't her fault, Tracy should have called him directly if it was such a huge deal.

"Go home and apologize, own up to it, and make her feel like she didn't mess up your career."

~~~

Eddie slowly walked into the house, the lights off as he looked around. He figured she must have gone to bed, another feeling of guilt knowing she struggled to make it up the stairs.

He sighed and walked into their bedroom, a light on near the bed and her laptop rested on her stomach as she slept.

Eddie stripped off his clothes and crawled into the bed, grabbing her laptop to shut it off. He scrunched his eyebrows as he read the article she was on.

"How to overcome pregnancy brain"

Eddie closed the laptop with a sad sigh, lying down as he wrapped his arm around her. Softly rubbing her swollen stomach as she slept. He kissed her head and whispered apologies in her ear.

He'd wait until the morning to talk it out with her.

~~~

Eddie yawned as he walked down the stairs, Y/N was already out of bed when he woke up. He could hear her on the phone, her voice trembling as she cried.

"No Tracy, please! It was all my fault. He didn't miss it or anything. I forgot to tell him. You have to set something new up, like just ca-" Eddie grabbed the phone from her hand and hung it up. Her wet eyes stared at him as she tried to grab the phone.

"EDDIE STOP!" she sobbed, choking on her tears as she tried to grab the phone, but he threw it across the counter.

He wrapped his arms around her as she cried into his chest. He held her tightly and kissed her forehead.

"It's okay, shh," he cooed, swinging them back and forth as he held her. "I'm not mad and I'm sorry for yelling. None of it was your fault, and it was wrong of me to blame you."

"No! I messed it up. I'm just so stupid and forget everything."

"You're not stupid!" He argued, holding her head to make her look at him. "You are having our baby, and you've been carrying her for nine months. You are amazing. Tracy never should have left the message with you and I shouldn't have acted the way I did. You have every right to be spacey. Nothing is wrong with that or you. I love you so much. Please don't cry because of me." He softly wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too." She said, cuddling into his chest.

"Now how about we take a nice bath and eat pizza" Eddie suggested, knowing that was her favorite routine to do when she was upset.

Eddie laughed as she yanked herself out of his arms and headed for the bathroom.

A few more days until their family had a new member.

Tags!

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[cod-sins]

Heyyyy. I loved ur konig hcs! 💕. Can we get hcs for Ghost/ konig ab what they would do if they’re civilian s/o was getting stalked while they were away and they call them asking what to do ? xx

.ೃ࿐ Format: Hcs

.ೃ࿐ Reader: Undisclosed. Established relationship.

.ೃ࿐ Ratings: SFW

.ೃ࿐ Word Count: 1.2k

[A/N: Hey anon thank you so much for requesting this, it was so much fun to write I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. :) Also Ghost is more of a full fic than a headcanon sorrey got carried away. 😋]

𝑮𝑯𝑶𝑺𝑻

Ghost was stuck in a safehouse somewhere in the deserts of Mexico waiting for his rescue team to come pick him up. He was absolutely done with this mission, having to carry around 30 extra pounds of military gear in the scorching heat just to eliminate a "single fucking target" was no joke. He'd much rather be at home in his flat, throwing something on the telly [lol] and laying around with you. He smiles at that thought.

He checked his watch. 1435 read the time. '3 more hours.' He thought. Three more hours until he arrived back at the base. Three more hours until he makes it to the airport. He glanced up at the ceiling his mind filled with all the things you were gonna say to him, how you would fuss over his injuries and insist on him relaxing in the bath while you cooked for him. He plays out these thoughts in his head until his mind becomes hazy and he begins to fall asleep.

Ghost is a fairly light sleeper so the first time you called he answered immediately.

"Hello?" "Ghost! I'm so sorry I know you said not to call you unless it's an emergency but there's this guy who has been following me around all day and I- "Y/N slow down I can't understand you." He said calmly despite his heart starting to beat faster.

You took a deep breath and resumed. "I was at the grocery store earlier and I noticed this guy who kept following me around. Every single aisle I went down he was there, even after I left the store he kept following me. I don't know what to do he's still waiting for me to leave this building." Your voice trembled as you spoke.

Ghost could feel his blood beginning to boil as you talked. The mere thought of someone trying to harass you or even worse hurt you drove him crazy. He should be there protecting you not waiting around.

"Alright, I want you to listen to me carefully and do exactly as I tell you, do you understand? Do not hang up this phone Y/N. First I want you to tell me where he is and what he's doin'."

You told Ghost the man's location--he was outside across the street pretending to be occupied by a street vendor. He kept glancing at the shop you were hiding in.

"Right listen carefully, I want you to make your way to the closest bank the one we always use. Stay in populated areas where people can see you do not take any shortcuts. Don't go down any alleyways don't give him the opportunity to have you alone. Once you make it to the bank talk to the security guard and tell 'em what's happening. Make sure you point the guy out."

You agree and with a shaky hand you grab your bags and make your way outside. The stalker takes notice of this and begins his pursuit. You hastily make your way to the bank--updating Ghost with every step. As soon as you make it inside you talk to the security guard and tell him your situation. He immediately calls the police which scares the man off while they escort you back home in a police car.

As soon as this whole ordeal is over Ghost forces you to take self-defense classes. He would also like it if you knew how to work a gun but if you weren't comfortable with that he'd opt for getting a dog instead. (Plus he's quite fond of the animal.) He just wants you to be safe he couldn't stand the thought of losing you. ):

𝑲ö𝒏𝒊𝒈

All you wanted to do was go home and fall asleep in you and König's California-sized bed. You had a long grueling day; dealing with shitty customers who thought they were entitled to everything and awful coworkers who barely did their job forcing you to work overtime and pick up on their slack. Whilst working you accidentally burnt yourself cleaning the coffee machine because your boss had distracted you to ask if you could close shop tonight.

You were so busy walking home that you didn't notice the man behind you following your every step. It was only when you tripped and dropped your bag--all your items spiling out that you realized that he was there. He quickly stepped in helping you pick up your items despite your initial rejection.

He was very adamant about helping you even though it was clear you were uncomfortable with the situation. Quickly thanking him you began speeding up your walk while fumbling around for your phone. You glanced back and noticed he was still following you. The sun had begun to set and the remaining light was slowly fading away. Your car was in the shop so you were forced to walk home at night.

You glanced back once more and saw that he was still behind you even though you had taken multiple turns and crossed several different streets. Starting to feel anxious you dialed your boyfriend. It took him a few moments to answer which felt like years to you.

"Hallo?" A tired voice spoke from the phone. The sound of his voice instantly filled you with comfort almost making you forget about the situation you were in. "König I'm sorry to wake you I need your help, there's some dude who won't stop following me. I don't wanna go home yet because I don't want him to know where we live. It's starting to get dark out and my phone is gonna die." You said sounding exasperated. The sound of shuffling could be heard over the phone as you continued down the street.

"Where are you now?" His demeanor had completely changed sounding more gruff and serious. You stammered out your location telling him specific landmarks. A theater, a bar, and a park across the street. König instructs you to head to the bar first, 'get lost in the crowd' he told you. 'Then go out the back way and head to the park.' You do as you're told hovering down while you squeeze between heavily intoxicated people. You make it outside the bar then hurry across the street.

It's now completely dark out and without any light it's hard to see inside the park. "I want you to go hide in the park behind the bushes where he can't see. Stay low turn off your phone light and be quiet." König continues to instruct you as you find a hiding spot. You watch as the man leaves the bar, he walks a few feet down then he turns around still not able to find you.

Once he realizes you're completely gone he curses and stomps his foot then marches off into the distance. You cringe at the thought of what he would do to you if he found you. König brings you back to reality asking if you're alright, you tell him your status and he makes you stay on the phone until you've made it back home.

Similar to Ghost, König would also want you to learn self-defense maneuvers, he'd teach you himself (because he's so big he makes a good example) and he'd equip you with your own knife. König would also give you pepper spray and a whistle and a tactical flashlight. You'd have to stop him at the flashlight or else he'd have you lugging around military gear like Ghost.

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

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[scarletwinterxx]

but on a wednesday in a cafe i watched it begin again - kim mingyu imagine

hiiiii - okay i'm so so so inlove with this one. may i say this is half inspired by real life scenarios haha anyways i hope you like it!

alsooo just a thought, would anyone want to be mutuals on X?

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

10 years ago

"Kyeom, I'm gonna go. I have assignments to do"

"What noooo, the game's just about to start" he mutters, he even kick feet like a little kid

"Then stay, but I'm going" you didn't even give him a chance to say anything because you're already out the gym doors. Your bestfriend used to your attitude at this point, he lets you be.

You pull your bag on your shoulders as you walk towards the school gates, some students were also on their way out since classes are done. Just as you were about to exit, someone calls your name making you look back.

When you spot who was calling you, confusion took over your face. Wondering why Kim Mingyu is here running after you when he should be inside with the basketball team.

"Hey, glad I caught you" he smiles at you.

Kim Mingyu, the guy who's known across all campus. He's the star student, all the teachers like him, he's never missed a class, he's good at studying, never the troublemaker, has a big circle of friends and an even bigger number of admirers from all across the school.

"What's up, do you need something?" you nonchalantly replied but that didn't deter him one bit

"Yea uh actually I wanted to ask you out" he scratches the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes as he waits for your answer

"Me?"

"Yea, I like you"

"Oh uh thanks. But I'm not really looking for that type of thing right now"

You watch the smile fall from MIngyu's face before it comes back again, it doesn't quite reach his eyes though. You notice.

"Oh"

"Yeah, sorry but uhm goodluck on your game though. I'm gonna go now" you wave goodbye before going your way. Not once turning to look back where Mingyu was left standing.

The rest of your high school life flew by like that. You still mostly kept to yourself, a few close friends, never really wanting to have any eyes on you. Mingyu never contacted you after that. You two acted like strangers once again, his confession something only you and him know.

Present Day

"Did you get the invite?" Dokyeom asks the moments he enters your apartment. After all these years, he's still your bestfriends. Most of your 'friends' from high school you've already lost contact with, you realized you were only friends with them only because you saw them everyday. Not many of them really made the effort to keep in contact, you can't blame them though since you didn't either.

But that's life. People come and go.

"For?"

"Our high school reunion, please tell me you're going"

"I did get it, and no I'm not going"

"What? Why? It'll be fun" he still does this thing where he stomps his feet like a kid when you say no to him, annoying but he's your bestfriend so you learned to put up with it.

"I don't even talk to anyone from high school apart from you"

"I'll be there, you can talk to me" he weakly reasons out, trying to plead with you is like trying to move a cement brick wall. He knows it's a losing battle but he still tries anyways.

"You won't stop bugging me unless I go, won't you?"

"You know me too well"

"Fine, but I'm not staying long"

"3 hours tops"

"2, take it or leave it"

Leave it to Dokyeom to make sure you're actually coming because by 5pm the day of the reunion, he came to your apartment even though you're taking your own car since you don't plan on staying as long as him.

"Oh you actually got ready" he says when you open the door

"I don't want another long message from you, let's go before I change my mind"

The two of you drove separately to the venue, as an introvert you admit when you got there you already want to go home. You see the familiar faces, already dreading the amount of small talks you have to do for the rest of the night. Cursing Dokyeom in your mind.

Your bestfriend didn't even give you a chance to step back inside your car before he's pulling you inside, saying hello to everyone on your way in. He's always been the nicer one between the two of you.

The two of you grab some snacks and drinks before continuing on meddling with your former schoolmates. Your social battery draining drastically by the second when you hear Dokyeom almost scream from beside you,

"Kim Mingyu! Yo dude you made it"

You look over where Dokyeom went, watching him give a bro hug to the guy. There Kim Mingyu stands, still as handsome as ever. A lot of years passed by but he still looks the same, just even better now.

The years have indeed been kind to him.

With everything happening around you, you can't help but feel overwhelmed. A few moments away from sneaking out but Dokyeom catches you once again before you can even give it a try

"Y/N's here too, you remember Mingyu right?"

You wanted to step on your bestfriend's shoes to make him shut up but instead you just shoot him a tight lipped smile before turning to the taller guy,

"Hi"

"Hey, it's been a while. I haven't seen you since... graduation"

"Yea, you too"

End of conversation.

You're still the same, Mingyu thinks. You're still the same girl he liked back then, you're still just as hard to read, still answering with single sentences, still beautiful like the day you broke his heart.

He wonders how you've been since then. Are you dating anyone or are you still out there breaking other guys' heart with your cold demeanor. He's still friends with Dokyeom and last he heard you've been doing okay. No mention of a boyfriend.

You don't give him a chance to ask any question, you say something to Dokyeom before walking towards the door

"Is she alright?" he can't help but ask

"Oh yea, she's being her usual self. It's a miracle I even got her to go tonight so I won't even be surprised if she's about to sneak home now, I'll just call her later"

"You two still close?"

"She's my bestfriend, dude. Of course we are, we're like twins ya know. Anyways how's the cafe going"

Mingyu hangs out with Dokyeom for the rest of the night, they didn't really run out of things to catch up on. He can't help but wonder how two very different people manage to stay close friends. But then again it's Dokyeom, one of the nicest guy he knows. At the end of the day, he's glad you're friends with someone like him.

The next day Dokyeom calls you to bombard you with stories about the reunion that you missed when you came home, he goes on and on about catching up with Mingyu then some other people from your batch you don't even talk to anymore but you listen anyways.

After the phone call, you get ready to go to work. You go on with your routine and before you know it you're done with your 9-5. That goes on for the rest of the week.

Some people hate it but you liked having a routine, it drives you crazy when things don't go your way.

Like tonight, your workmates all but forced you to come with them for afterwork drinks. You wanted to decline but you already done so many times so they made sure you come with them this time.

"Okay okay so what if you're in a room full of all the people you ever liked, who would you go to?"

Everyone take turns to answer until all head turns to you, "Oh me?"

"Yea, come on spill the details girlie we won't tell" one of your workmate jokes, clearly drunk

You take a few more seconds to think before you say your answer

"I guess this guy I rejected in high school"

"What? Oh my gosh whoooo, tell us tell us what happened" they excitedly ask

"Oh no big deal, just a guy. He was nice, like really nice. I liked that about him, but uh I guess high school me wasn't ready for any kind of commitment so I rejected him. I choose him because I want to apologize, that's all"

"Aw did you hear that? that's so cuteee"

"So where is he now?"

"I don't know, I never really kept in touch"

You grab your glass so you can avoid any more questions, after an hour to tell them goodbye since you still have to go to work tomorrow.

And as expected you woke up with a slight headache, even though you wanted to stay in bed for the day you know you can't. You get up and get ready for the day, planning to stop by this cafe your workmates keep on mentioning on your way to work.

Good things it's still early, when you got the cafe there were only a few people inside. You can smell the freshly brewed coffee and pastries on the stand.

"Next, Hi goodmorning what can I get you?"

"Hi, can I get an iced Vanilla Latte and a bagel with cream cheese to go? Thank you" you say your order while the cashier notes it down "Okay, for a moment I'll just get your order ready"

"Sure" you wait on the counter for your order, checking the other pastries and the menu board.

Mingyu was at the back, getting some stocks ready for the day when he spots someone on the counter. He had to do a double take to make sure it was you standing in his cafe, immediately a smile forming on his face as he watch you look at the display case.

You're too lost in your own world to notice him now standing Infront of you so he clears his throat to get your attention, "Can I get you something else, see anything you like?" he asks

He can see you weren't expecting to see him here, out of all places.

What in the twisted fate was this, you think to yourself.

"Oh uh the other barista already took my order" you tell him, Mingyu goes to the other guy telling him something before returning to the register with your order, "One iced vanilla latte and bagel with cream cheese, here you go. Anything else?" he asks again

"I think this is all for now, so how much?"

"On the house" Mingyu says with a smile, makes you wonder if he does this on a regular basis but you shake the thought away.

"What? No, come on I'll feel bad. Tell me how much" you tell Mingyu but he just shakes his head at you

"Free coffee for the pretty lady"

"Do you tell all your lady customers that?" you ask him, the words already out before you can stop yourself. You can feel your cheeks heat up but Mingyu just chuckles, again he shakes his head

"Just you, tell me next time how's our coffee and baked goods are then we'll call it even" he tells you, pointing at the suggestion box

"Are you sure? My workmates recommended this place and they said the coffee is good but I never really went with them" you tell him,

"You work close by?"

"A few blocks from here, I sometimes pass by here but it's always so busy. I guess I got lucky today"

All this time you were this close to where he was and he never knew. Mingyu mentally agrees with you, indeed it is a lucky day because for the first time since he met you you finally said more than one sentence to him.

17 year old Mingyu would be pouting and kicking his feet out of jealousy, he would never believe this day would come but here you are.

"Thank you for the coffee and food, uh see you around"

"You too, Y/N. It's nice to see you again" he smile again, you shoot him a small smile before going your way.

He watches you go out the door, the scene of you walking away hitting him like a Deja vu. A scene from 10 years go playing in head. Just as you were about to exit the door, to turn around to look at him behind the counter then shoot him another smile then you were gone.

This time though Mingyu wasn't left with a heart to mend but something to look forward to. Maybe just maybe this time it'll be his chance.

"You're down bad" Hoshi, his co-owner and other barista, says from beside him

"Huh?"

"Really?? Coffee for the pretty lady? so original" he laughs

"What? I never used that on anyone" Mingyu mumbles, "I know, that's why I said you're down bad. Who is she by the way?"

"Someone very special, call me when she comes back" he pats Hoshi on the shoulder before going to the back to resume his re-stocking duties.

Mingyu didn't want to expect (but he was), he would be lying if he didn't tell Hoshi he'd open tomorrow and man the register just in case you come in early again. He would be lying if he says he looked up every time the bell dings signaling another customer came in only it wasn't you.

It took you a few days before you visited again, and this time luck wasn't on Mingyu's side because he was not on duty.

"Hey, you're Mingyu's friend" Hoshi remembers you from the other day, greeting you with a big smile making his eyes almost disappear. He seems like a warm person, very friendly.

"Yeah, you can say that" you shyly answer him "Oh right sorry, what can I get you?"

"I'll get another iced vanilla latte. The last one you made was really good" you tell him

"Thanks, make sure to drop that inside our box" he jokes "Anything else?"

"Can you recommend any pastry for me to try? They all look so good"

"Honestly, not to be biased, everything's good here but that chocolate cake is extra special. Mingyu makes it himself everyday, want a slice?"

"Sure, sounds great"

Hoshi, you learn his name, goes and make your order like before then returns to the counter "Okay here you go, and the man says it's on the house"

"Huh?" you ask confused "Mingyu said it's on the house if ever you come back"

"Oh I can not not pay, he already said that the last time" you said, already getting your card out

"No really, he insists. And between us, I'd be in bigger trouble if I let you pay. If you want to scold him, feel free to do so and drop it in the box"

You chuckle, finally taking your drink and food "Thanks again, let me write something" you seat on a vacant chair to get a paper from inside your bag, writing a quick note before going back to the counter to drop it in the box. You say goodbye to Hoshi before going.

You feel your phone ring in your pocket, Dokyeom's name flashing on the screen "Barbeque later"

"Are you asking or are you telling me?"

"I'll come by after work" then he hangs up.

A few hours later, your bestfriend shows up with a few grocery bags and a loud mouth. You two catch up on what you missed on the few days you didn't get to talk, he likes staying up to date with your life even though nothing really ever happens. He's like the brother you never expected but you're now stuck with.

"Do you have any sweets here, chocolate or something" you hear him scrummaging through your kitchen

"I have a cake slice in the fridge"

Dokyeom finds it then walks back to the dining table, setting it in the middle to share between the two of you

"Oh gosh this is so good, where did you buy this?"

"At Mingyu's cafe, did you know he had one?" you ask back, Dokyeom's head springs up to look at you

"You went there? Mingyu did mention he had a cafe. So you two talked?"

"Yea he was there the first time I went, it was really nice the coffee is good. The other barista said Mingyu baked this" you tell him, taking another bite

"You know, you never told me why you rejected him"

Dokyeom suddenly mentioning that made you cough out loud, "You said you liked him right? Then all of a sudden you were telling me you rejected him"

"Are we really talking about this? It's been 10 years"

"Yea"

"Like I said, I didn't have the time and I got overwhelmed. Everyone knew who Mingyu was, I didn't want that kind of attention on me too. I guess 17 year old me got scared"

Dokyeom listens to you, watching you stab the piece of cake before taking a bite "For what it's worth, he really liked you back then. He even asked me what your favorites were, I said you liked cakes more than ice cream"

Back at the cafe, Mingyu comes in after Hoshi closes so he can start on baking tomorrow's batch of cake. He's in the kitchen getting the ingredients ready while Hoshi cleans the display case and front of the house.

He was humming to himself when he hears the kitchen door swing open, "Oh by the way Y/N dropped by today"

Mingyu forgets the number he was on, now he has to measure the flour all over again. He turns to look at his friend with an annoyed expression, Hoshi holds his hands in the air

"Hey don't blame me, not my fault she went here on your only day off. But I did say it's on the house courtesy of you, so you're welcome"

"Atleast you did something right" Mingyu says

"And she got the chocolate cake, she also dropped something in the box. Go check it when you're done, I'm going now" he waves goodbye before going to the office to do a few more things before leaving Mingyu alone at the shop.

He tries to focus first on what he's doing, going back to measuring the ingredients and putting it in the oven before going to the counter to get the box.

How will find your note here when there's about 30 others in here, he's not so sure. He reads through a few of them when finally he finds one

Coffee is great, maybe even better with company. On me next time I come back, thanks Gyu :)

He knows it's from you because of the nickname, a lot of people from highschool used to call him that. It may be common but it sounded extra special when you're the one calling him that. He takes the note and put it in his pocket before putting the others back.

Tonight's cake about to be extra good.

When Mingyu comes in the shop the next day he was expecting you to come, he wasn't going to lie about it this time.

It might seem silly but he never really got over his crush on you. There's something about you that he admired so much, even though people said you're the 'ice queen' with your stoic expression and one line answers he thinks you're just always straight to the point.

He never harbored hard feelings even after you rejected him, he understood your reasons. He knew you were focused on your studies but he just wanted to shoot his shot.

That day when he asked you, he already saw you in the gym before the game. He thought you were going to watch only for you to disappear a few minutes before they started, he chased after you with high hopes only to be handed his heart back in a few pieces. But even then he still liked you, he continued on admiring you from afar. Cheering you on your academic victories and cheering for you on your graduation day when you gave out your valedictorian speech.

He liked watching you achieve your goals, you always had that laser focus and determination. The entire class knew you deserved it.

Now a decade later, you're still the same in some ways. The night during the reunion party, he didn't expect to see you there. You didn't age a day, you still look so beautiful. You now carry this confident but reserved aura around you, he admits he was a bit intimidated to approach you so he thanks Dokyeom for being there.

The day passed by and still no sign of you, when he turns the open sign over to close he lets out the biggest sigh. Looking at the last slice of cake on the stand, ironically very similar to him. Waiting for you to come by.

He's busy mopping the floors to notice he didn't lock the front door, you just got out of work and decided to check if the cafe was still open. The sign said closed but you spot Mingyu inside so you try to knock on the glass door but he couldn't hear you so you let yourself in.

You walk closer to where he was before tapping him on the back making the tall man jump up in the air with mop in hand.

Mingyu turns around, holding his hand to his chest as he looks at you blinking back at him "Fuck you scared the shit out of me, sorry" he mumbles the apology after letting a few curses out

"Sorry, I didn't mean too. I knocked but you couldn't hear. Uhm is it a bad time?"

"No, I mean no it's good. I was just cleaning up. Do you want anything?" he asks you, putting the mop in the bucket before walking towards the counter with you following. He stands by the cashier while you stand on the other side

You spot the last piece of cake like it's calling your name, Mingyu following your gaze. Smiling to himself while he waits for your order.

"I'll get the last piece of chocolate cake, please. Hoshi recommended it yesterday and it was really food. Glad I got the last one" you smile

Little did you know he made that recipe with you in mind. He knew you liked chocolate cakes. "Chocolate cake coming up, anything else? Our cookies are good too, let me get some for you"

"As long as you let me pay for it"

"Not a chance, miss" Mingyu smirks, putting the remaining cookies in a box along with the cake before walking back to face you

"Not this again, you already got it for me the last few times I was here. How will you run a business if you keep on giving it out for free"

"I don't always do it" Mingyu shrugs

"Just let me pay please" you say giving him your card but he just pushes it back

"No"

"Mingyu"

He smiles, looking over at you. For a second you were taken back by his stare. The only way you can describe it was sweet, he looked so sweet like the cake he baked. He looked so soft and gentle like he wouldn't break a heart.

"Come back next time, I'll let you pay"

"You said that the last time"

"Then keep coming back, maybe one day I'll let you" he confidently tells you, the underlying message of wanting to see you again lies in the air. He holds his breath waiting for your next words,

"If you don't let me pay the next time, I won't come back" you threaten him cutely, finally taking the bag from him. Mingyu smiles walking to the other side to walk you out.

Before you reach the door you stop, "Actually, there's something I need to tell you" you turn to look up at him

"Go ahead, I'm listening"

You take a few seconds, again surprised with how he's staring right at you. Like he's seeing all of you.

"I would like to apologize for what happened before, you know the whole rejection thing. I know it's a bit overdue, actually it's very overdue but I've always wanted to say sorry. Someone asked me if I was in a room full of all the people I liked, who would I run to I said you. That's because I wanted to say sorry... so yea. I'm sorry" you mumble, now you're looking at his chest. Too shy to look at him

"You like me?" Mingyu mumbles

This make you look at him again, "That's all you heard?"

"I mean I appreciate the thought, apology accepted. Now back to my question.. I heard that right, right?"

"You're not wrong"

You and your one liner answers.

"So how many are there in the room" he asks, now he's teasing you. You can't help but scowl at him, rolling your eyes.

"It's a very short list and you're missing my point"

"No I get it, and no need to apologize. I respect your decision back then and I still do now. No need to say sorry over that, no hard feelings" he smiles at you.

Mingyu wanted to reach out and hold your hand but he stops himself. He didn't want to mess this again with you, if this is finally his second chance then he's not going to do anything to mess it up.

"I really am, it's been 10 years but I just wanted to tell you that. So yea.. that's uh that's all"

"Can I ask something?"

"What?" you ask back "Who else would be in the room with me, do I know the others"

"Oh my gosh! It's a very short list"

He laughs at your answer, reaching up to tuck the loose hair than fell on your face behind your ear.

"I believe you, tell me about it next time you get coffee"

"Seriously making me rethink about coming back here" you pout, this made Mingyu's heart pound like crazy. A hundred shots of espresso got nothing on you. Only you can make him feel this way, so alive.

"I'll bake you a cake" he bargains

"Chocolate?"

"All yours, on the house"

[afterglowkatie]

stubborn | c.f.

caitlin foord x cooney-cross!reader | 1.8k | caitlin takes care of you while you're sick, once you let her

ˏˋ°•*⁀ based on this ask! hope you enjoy it! i do love my cooney-cross reader a lot <3 hope it's good enough and worth the wait in between all my fics <3 sorry im not very consistent lately!

‘Cait, I’m fine. Just let me sleep,’ You groaned, swatting Caitlin’s hands away from trying to feel your forehead. It was the last day before proper training and matildas camp started so everyone was hanging around the pool relaxing. Normally you’re way too full of energy to just lay around and everyone expected to have found you already in the pool. So your girlfriend was concerned when you told your sister to go away when she tried to drag you into the pool.

‘You’re warm,’ Your eyes closed didn’t stop you from rolling them and groaning internally. You could hear Caitlin’s worry in her voice and you appreciated how much she cared for you and how much she loves you. But you don't need her to worry about you, she should be relaxing and enjoying the bit of down time she has before prep for the olympics starts.

‘I’m laying in the sun babe, of course I’m going to be warm,’ Opening your eyes you smiled towards Caitlin, your hand finding her own, slipping your fingers between hers. You could tell Caitlin wasn’t fully convinced even if she was willing to drop the subject for now, though you knew you were about to be given an almost unlimited supply of water to keep you hydrated and an extra close eye kept on you. 

You were just tired and needed some deep rest, there’s nothing else wrong with you. At least that’s what you were trying to convince yourself of. Caitlin didn’t need to know that every time you opened your eyes the pounding in your head increased and was almost unbearable. She didn’t need to know just how much your body was aching and how much energy it took you to move from your bed this morning down to the lounge you were currently laying on. 

She didn’t need to know how your skin may have felt warm but you were feeling so cold and wished you were wrapped up in a blanket while laying in the sun. Or the way you felt nauseous every single time you stood up.But there was nothing wrong with you, you weren’t sick. At least you thought that if you could trick your mind into not accepting that you were sick, then you would stop feeling as poorly as you do right now. 

Leaning up you pressed your lips against Caitlin’s cheek, leaving a couple of small kisses, while you moved your hand to rest against her hip. You purposely ignored the pout she gave you when you subtly refused to kiss her lips. Not wanting to risk the chance of Caitlin ending up how you’re feeling. You tightened your grip on her hip and left a big kiss against her cheek before pulling Caitlin down so she was semi laying on top of you. Running your hands along her side, peppering her face with little kisses.

‘Get a room,’ You heard your sister yell before you were both splashed with water from the pool. 

‘Go away Kyra, annoy someone else,’ Mumbling out before giving all your attention to your girlfriend. 

Even though it was warm in the sun, you were still feeling cold so you didn’t let Caitlin go, not until you eventually fell asleep and she was able to slip out. Not that she went far from you, only to wet a little towel to keep on your forehead so you wouldn’t overheat while you got the rest that you needed. 

The next time you woke up, you were suddenly in bed in your hotel room with the sun just starting to come through the blinds. Caitlin never had the heart to wake you when you seemed so exhausted, so she ended up carrying you from the lounge beside the pool all the way up to your room. Not without getting teasing comments from some of your teammates, mainly Kyra, Alanna and Steph.

‘Good morning, sleepy head,’ Caitlin whispered once she realised you had woken up. You lifted your head up and instantly closed your eyes to stop everything from spinning around you, ‘Are you okay?’ Caitlin’s hands steadied your body that you didn’t realise was swaying a little bit. The sleep and rest hadn’t helped you at all, instead you think it made you worse. 

‘Yep, just hungry Cait. You let me sleep through dinner,’ Taking a deep breath, you leaned into her hand that was now cupping your cheek. Opening your eyes to look at Caitlin, you pouted a little. Caitlin thought you were pouting because of what you just said and to add a little bit of a dramatic effect like you normally would. But instead you were pouting because the ache in your body had increased and the throbbing in your head was too loud to handle.

Somehow, you dragged your body out of bed, dressed and sat down to eat food before training. You were doing your best to convince everyone you were fine, you just needed more rest but you could still train and play in the match against Canada tomorrow. You really wanted to play at least once more before the Olympic matches came around, wanting to be as prepared as you could be.

So even while your body was screaming at you to slow down and take it a bit easier and to actually rest, you ignored it and kept pushing yourself. Lucky for you that the sun and warmth was an easy excuse for how warm your skin was, your hair sticking to your face from all the sweat that covered your body. But also unlucky for you that the sun was so warm, causing you to feel more light headed and harder to not lose focus on training while you were trying to focus on staying upright.

‘Mate, I think you should slow down,’ You let out a small groan when Alanna had placed her hand on your back, your body so sensitive that even a small touch was uncomfortable against your skin. Alanna had been on the receiving end of your girlfriend's worries about you over the last 24 hours. She’d reassured Caitlin that she’d also look out for you, both of them, if not everyone, knowing how stubborn you can get.

‘Lani I’m fine,’ You rolled your eyes and sprayed her with your water bottle you had been drinking out of. Laughing, as best you could without causing a coughing fit, before walking back out to training.

Though you didn’t get far back into training when you heard a slight ringing in your ears, everything else being drowned out, your vision became patchy before your legs and body gave out. 

Alanna was the first to you, calling out to Caitlin who wasn’t far away but wasn’t facing your direction to have noticed you passed out, ‘What happened?’ The fear and concern in Caitlin’s voice was evident, Kyra was right behind Caitlin leaving Steph behind to get the medical team to help you. 

‘I don’t think she’s too well-’ Alanna started before Caitlin cut her off.

‘You think?’ As if it wasn’t obvious to anyone that you weren’t doing well with the fact you had passed out at training. Kyra gently placed a hand on Caitlin’s shoulder and Caitlin immediately apologised to her best friend, Alanna knew she was just worried about you. 

Caitlin’s attention was on you, her hands were cradling your face gently until the medical team arrived to check you over. It was assumed that you’d hit your head against the ground when you fell so for precautions they’d put a neck brace and were going to put you on a stretcher.

‘Hey, you’re okay,’ Caitlin spoke softly, running her hand over your hair, making sure none of it was in your face, ‘They just want to get some scans done to make sure you aren’t hurt,’ Caitlin noticed the slight confused expression that washed over your face briefly when you noticed where you were.

‘What happened?’ Your voice was scratchy and it hurt more than you remembered. Immediately, Caitlin helped you have some water to help ease the pain in your throat.

‘You passed out and fell pretty bad. It’s strange seeing Kyra so worried,’ Your sister was a pretty easy going person and if you had managed to worry her then you knew you were worse than you thought. You also noticed the way Caitlin’s expression shifted when she mentioned Kyra being worried and you knew that she was just as worried. 

You’d never actually passed out before. Even when you’d tried to push through illnesses all throughout your life, still playing football even with a fever multiple times, you’d still listen to your body or someone else around you and slow down. This was the first time you’d ignored every sign and it was definitely something you’d learn from.

‘I’m sorry for worrying you,’ Even if she never said it directly, you’d been with Caitlin long enough to be able to read her quite well, ‘I didn’t want to worry you. I thought if I didn’t acknowledge I was sick then I wouldn’t actually be sick,’ Caitlin rolled her eyes playfully at you, shaking her head, amused was one word she could use to describe it.

‘You’re lucky you’re cute and I love you,’ Caitlin leaned down, placing a soft kiss against your forehead. You closed your eyes and smiled small, enjoying having your girlfriend close to you.

Later that night you found yourself cuddled up against Caitlin in your hotel room, your scans came back clear although you hadn’t been cleared to play with your exhaustion and illness, ‘They’re not letting me play,’ You mumbled out against Caitlin’s chest, where your head was laying, eyes closed. 

‘Baby, I wasn’t going to let you even think about playing,’ Caitlin chuckled softly, of course you’d still be thinking about going back out onto the pitch and playing after a day like today. You let out a little mumble to try to argue back with her, but nothing really came out once Caitlin started rubbing small circles against your back, ‘Next time just let me help you. You don’t have to be strong or push through it by yourself all the time. I’ve got you,’ 

You smiled and tried to cuddle closer to her, you were already wearing Caitlin’s shorts and hoodie, you couldn’t possibly get any closer to her but you still tried, ‘You’re the best and I love you so much,’ Smiling while looking up at Caitlin, eyes softening more when she looked down to see you looking at her, ‘You take the best care of me, thank you,’

You really did think that, maybe you were a little biased. But Caitlin was always so soft taking care of you whenever you needed her too. Until you were better she never let you out of her sight, always making sure you were taking your medicine, staying hydrated and most importantly that you were actually resting. 

‘I’ll always take care of my girl,’ Caitlin kissed your temple softly, letting her lips linger against your head. Leaning her forehead against yours, ‘I love you too, more than you’ll ever know,’ With Caitlin taking care of you, it wasn’t long before you were back to your normal self, reuniting with your sister to pester everyone on camp.

[nyarumie]

hey axia ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

enjoy the start of your semester, before uni gets crazy!! I loved your previous works, so I'll just slip into your inbox while the requests are open:3

What do you think would make Hoshina blush, or like, properly flustered?!

(be it headcanon, scenario, or whatever else you feel like, if anything:))

have a great day 🔆

Heart in Your Hands

hoshina soshiro x reader — fluff, comfort, they're both deeply in love, (god me when), short and sweet, established relationship

Author's Reply: Hi, thank you anon! I hope this work caters well to your request; finally got the time to work on something (which hopefully helps with my writer's block)

Reblogs and likes are appreciated! Please view my pinned and masterlist too (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

Trying to get Soshiro to blush is definitely rarer than a blue moon. Trust me, even his own platoon of talented rookies tried catching him off-guard — it's just near impossible!

Keyword: Near impossible. That's where you enter the picture.

As a Platoon Leader, you do your best to be a figure of inspiration to your officers, thus keeping up your facade of a strict mentor; but honestly—you’re not fooling anyone, you're totally a softie! Despite your personal ‘no-distractions-during-work’ policy, obvious signs of your feelings for the Vice Captain naturally slip out occasionally. Still, you refuse to get your relationship in the way of your work.

Behind closed doors lie the reserved intimacy and affection you held for him. He won't ever admit it, but he sometimes pushes himself too hard, hard enough to have scars and calluses all over his hands from his intense training, and you can only imagine how tight and desperate his grip is on his personalized close combat weapon.

He’s always desperate to prove his worth, desperate to keep the only thing that gives meaning to his existence, and you know that your words are not enough to quell the distress behind each swing and slash of his blades.

That's why you do what you know will calm him best—love him just as fierce as he swings those blades of his.

You caught him training again one night, exhaustion evident on his form. The adrenaline coursing through his body has yet to be quenched, and you know you have to do your magic to get him to rest.

“Soshiro. You're here again. One more night of this and you’ll really strain your body.” you softly said, concern evident in your voice.

He stopped midway his slash, breath heaving as he turned to face you. “Can't rest easy when the rookie officers are a whole ‘nother level, dear. If I don't do this, I doubt I’ll be able to get even the slightest hit on No. 9.”

Sighing, you made your way to him. “Put your weapon down for a while, please? Let me at least do something for you.”

Doing as you asked, he kept them somewhere safe and curiously stood in front of you again. He gave you an inquisitive look, patiently waiting for what you're planning to do.

You took his hands and caressed them, slowly feeling the roughness and evidence of all the nights he's spent bruising himself up just to get even stronger. You move his hands so that his palms are facing you, his eyes widening at your next move.

He felt a soft, careful kiss touch each of his palms, followed by a kiss to each of his fingertips.

He thinks his ears are on fire with how hot it's burning.

“W-what are ya doing, dear? I haven't cleaned my hands up!”

You entwined your hands with his before he could even pull them away, thinking that he didn't like what you just did. “I’m sorry, did I make you uncomf— Oh.”

Oh, indeed. The sight that greeted you when you turned your face up to see him is… remarkable. You can't believe the Third Division’s Vice Captain would be blushing over his significant other tenderly kissing his rough, tired hands.

“Ya didn't have to do that… I know you love me plenty! And please stop gripping on my hands harder, ya aren't letting me turn away!”

You snort. “Of course I won't let you. This is a rare sight. Still, I didn't know something like that could get you severely flustered.” you said, a hint of pride in your tone.

“Told ya I haven't cleaned ‘em up. I was holdin’ those nasty blades moments ago.”

“Ah, excuses. Just say you liked the kisses more than you expected. I’ll let you off this one time and say it's just out of exhaustion.” you giggled.

Your expression turned soft and serious again, now hugging him. His arms wrapped around you, a tired sigh coming from him. “You do so much for me, ya know that? I thought I was gonna explode earlier. Don't know what I did to deserve ya.”

“Mhm, ‘Shiro. You have no idea how at a loss I am sometimes to do something for you. I want to shoulder at least a piece of your burden, want you to share your pain with me without worrying about whether I can take it. Because I will, just for you. I’ll hold your hand whatever happens and stand side by side with you. All I ask is that you take care of yourself.”

He let out a soft laugh of relief. “I should be sayin’ these things to you. I hope ya know how amazing you are to me.”

You both pulled away from the hug, him taking a hand of yours in his. “Let's get some rest. Don't wanna worry my princess over here.”

Smiling in content, you nod your head at him. “Thank you, Soshiro.”

[hoseoksluna]

VAPOR, pt II. | jjk ft. myg

pairing: boyfriend!jungkook x steam!oc 

genre: smut, a great dose of angst

word count: 11.9k

summary: hard times ask for extra care and like the healer he is, jungkook doesn't fail to give you his absolute best.

pinterest board: vapor | playlist: vapor

warnings: heartbreak, lots of tears, oral sex (f. and m. receiving), praise kink, sucking fingers, female masturbation, fingering, oc is extremely wet and jk is rly rly hard for her <3, squirting, multiple orgasms, jk tells her off kinda and it's hot, pet names, raw and rough sex, the abandonment issues are heavy in one part, mention of a sex toy

note: hi, my loves. this was absolutely painful to write, but i know i made a good decision. unfortunately for those who are waiting for the next series—i'm sorry, but this will have another part. it's already so long and if i kept going, it'd have probably like 20k plus words and i don't want to take up your time. i think i can manage to post the last part THIS week, so look forward to this. one part of the happy ending done. <3 i love you, guys, i hope you like this. don't hesitate to let me know; i worked hard and i want validation skfjslkfjsklfs. enjoy, my loves. <3

A dead man for the fifth time, Jungkook finds the unfolding of the events quite ridiculous now. And he’s not surprised, how could he really be at this point, that there’s radio silence within the chambers of his heart. 

The food court is muted, the lights are ever still bright, but the corners of his eyes gain peculiar shadows that cling to the side of your face as you swirl your spoon in your hot soup. His phone is ringing and its obnoxious sound is but a vibration in his hand and the only thing that’s delaying him from sliding his thumb across his device is some sort of consent in your solemn, yet saddened features. He can see translucent threads lining your rounded lips that have sown your mouth shut, preventing you from speaking out your tender heart and it’s predominantly this thing, among the obvious other ones, that drives him to make a scene in front of all of these people crowded around him. 

If he has to, he will rip those wisps. Make it as painless as possible because whether he likes it or not, he needs you right now. Needs your word of advice, needs your consent in order to do what the entirety of his organs yearns to do. And if you say no, he’ll willingly turn his phone off and refuse to speak to his once-closest friend. 

Just for the sake of your mental health. Just to outrun fate and grasp her wrist to stop her from furthermore scarring your heart. 

You have enough of them and he has only one pair of lips to heal them. 

Lifting the spoon to your mouth, you keep your gaze on its silver coat and it unnerves him—the fact you won’t look at him, the fact that you so evidently don’t want to be in this situation. Your own boyfriend is chasing you around town, even though he transmitted waves of nothingness your way when he had you under his roof. He doesn’t fucking understand it. Doesn’t understand how he’s capable of doing such a thing and fury rises in his gut, soars high to his throat, which constricts around it so tightly that it forbids him from inhaling any oxygen into his lungs. And he fears that if he speaks, it’ll soak you. Make you even smaller than you are and he’ll hate himself for the rest of his life for it. 

However… 

He needs to talk to you. Time is pressing down on his shoulders once again and here and now, he’s too burdened, too fragile to bear it. His stoicism has long been fractured, its shards cracking cacophonously under the soles of his sneakers and… the singular tear rooting on his pale cheek hasn’t even dried up. 

“Tell me what to do, sweetheart,” Jungkook says, his voice a soft, deep murmur; a plea. His surroundings gain volume, little by little, the lack of air in his lungs causing his mind to spin. His body grows cold and, unwittingly, he bounces his leg underneath the table. “If you don’t want me to pick up this call, I won’t. It’s your decision.” 

He knows that whatever it is that will come out of your mouth and change the trajectory of his fury, he’ll protect you nonetheless. No matter what, no matter what it takes. He’ll unleash what’s been swarming in him for a long time in private sometime later if you ask for it—he’ll gladly tell his organs no and they’ll have to listen. That’s certainly not an issue. 

What will be an issue is if you remain quiet. He doesn’t know what will happen to him under that circumstance. He has very little trust in something that’s out of his grasp and he has  strong disliking for the looseness of it all. Doesn’t feel right. 

A quick, soft slurp of your soup. A lift of your weary eyes. A kick in his heart. “I don’t want to make any decision. If you want to pick up the call, you should. I don’t mind. If you don’t, that’s fine, too.” 

He must be dead because he’s staring at his own reincarnation. 

You’ve walked so far on your pathway of suffering that you reached the point that you don’t care anymore. Don’t care that there’s a risk Yoongi will see you or hear you. Don’t care about what’s going to happen when he does and about the events after. It’s as admirable as it is disturbing and a faint pulse begins to sound in his chest. Thrill nips at his skin; a sense of responsibility uncoiling within, linking to the surety of his instinct to protect you. To stand up for you. To make things right in a way, way different manner than he’s ever tried before and it’s those inclinations that drive his thumb to swipe across the screen. 

Though he doesn’t look at Yoongi. No, he looks at you, studying your features. It’s not that he doesn’t trust your words, he does and vehemently so, but this is a difficult situation that you’re both in and it would be only understandable if the gravity of it washed over you all of a sudden and you weren’t comfortable with this anymore. He wouldn’t hesitate to end the call right away. Fuck what Yoongi thinks. 

But nothing changes about your weariness. It’s a still pool of water, unmoving and utterly impenetrable, like the pond behind his cabin during cold, winter times. When this is over, he promises to get warm and dip his fingers in, permeate your skin with rosiness and coziness. Stall the change of seasons unfurling in you. 

And Jungkook pleats that promise into the palm of your hand as he takes it, his thumb against your head line. Watches you stuff your mouth full with noodles. His own stomach churns, the fury half parting, making a way for his hunger to suffuse his senses. He’s so happy you’re eating that all he can think about is how he’s going to make your life better with this one singular video call. 

He leaves you to it and focuses his gaze down on Yoongi. His once-close friend is driving in his car and despite the shit view he has of him, due to his service and the way Yoongi’s phone is angled, he can still see the way he’s swathed by murkiness. The purple marks under his eyes are a stark contrast to the pallidness of his skin and his hair is a mess, tufts of black strands sticking in different directions as if he had been on the verge of ripping his hair out. He has one hand on the steering wheel, while the other runs over his upper lip. Over and over, back and forth, waiting, patiently, for Jungkook’s attention. 

He starts speaking once he knows he has it. 

“Sorry to bother you, I didn’t know who else to call.” He sighs and explains that he’s calling because of you, the mention of your name causing his voice to crack. “I drove up to her apartment, but she’s not there. She told me she was going to her place when she… when she… left.” 

So he heard you loud and clear, and yet he didn’t have the decency to respond to you, make you know that you were heard. Jungkook looks at you and this time you look back at him, too. A tight, painful exchange of glances. He squeezes your hand, even as Yoongi continues. 

“She’s not picking up the phone. I’m worried about her—”

Jungkook is swift with his words. “You should’ve thought of that before you let her leave,” he snaps, his whole body tense, hanging yet again by the thread. He keeps his hold over your hand gentle, despite it all—despite the fact that his form yearns to explode. “You’re too reckless. Leave her alone.” 

Your eyes widen while Yoongi’s narrow, but he doesn’t regret what he said. He knows there’s utmost truth in them, something that should scramble his brain until he comprehends it. Yoongi’s mouth purses in a tight line and his fist clenches before he places it on the steering wheel with a thud. 

“Don’t talk to me like this. I don’t need this,” Yoongi mutters, pulling out his hyung card and while it angers Jungkook even more, he also thinks that’s the biggest load of bullshit that has ever come out of his mouth. “I need to know where she is.” 

He gazes intently at you as he says, “It’s none of your business.” 

And those big eyes of yours round in a good emotion that he can’t really recognize and slowly, you swallow down your noodles. Speechless, he deduces. A tendril of adrenaline courses in him, strengthening his responsibility and protectiveness over you, kissing it ever so sweetly when you squeeze his hand. 

A validation. 

Jungkook could stay like this. He wouldn’t mind at all—it feels too nice. Feels like you’re his. And perhaps at this very moment you are. 

The feeling is so overwhelming that he doesn’t give two shits about the fact Yoongi is detonating on the other side of the screen. He keeps his eyes on you. 

“What the fuck do you mean it’s none of my business? Is she with you?” 

It’s at this moment that a proud smile curls Jungkook’s lips. And it’s joy that absorbs his organs, his heart beating loudly and clearly. Even the people around him seem happier in his peripheral vision. He thinks this night tops in the best days he’s ever had. 

Tension has grabbed a hold of you, too. But he will make it better. He’s got you. 

He continues with the truth and he’s not afraid of it. Not at all. 

“Yes, she’s safe with me.” 

Those words, most peculiarly, soothe Yoongi’s rage. Silence fills his car, one that forces Jungkook to flick his eyes to his phone because he truly can’t believe what’s happening. Yoongi runs his hand down his face and nods once, the murkiness loosening a fair bit before it pulps him. It’s now that he becomes small. A tiny boy, at the hands of his own repercussions. Displeased, but relieved. A strange, strange sight.

“Good,” Yoongi says and Jungkook’s stomach drops. “She should be with you. You’re better than me in ways I could never be. She doesn’t need me anymore.” 

Your mouth parts and a vexation of your own clutches you. Enough for you to drop your spoon and lift your hand, palm up. The adrenaline in Jungkook’s system thickens. “Give me the phone.” 

Yoongi's head turns to the screen at the sound of your irritated voice and Jungkook’s smile widens, handing you the device. He knows what you’re about to say will put an end to this difficult situation and he’s eager to hear it, eager for it to happen. 

“Careful, don’t make him crash his car,” Jungkook whispers, ever so smug, just for your ears, but on the other hand, he doesn’t care if it finds a way to your boyfriend’s as well. You gaze at him most solemnly, fleetingly, and he can’t read shit in your expression. He’s not troubled by it, however; he wants you to let loose in whatever form of your choosing, of your liking. You deserve it, to be boundless like that. It’s been a long time coming.

His phone in your hand is too large and he finds it so cute that it helps him relax. Without withdrawing his hand, he hunches over his soup, getting his utensils ready. 

And his first taste of his meal is as good as the first words you hurl at Yoongi. 

“Are you joking right now? Is that all you have to say after everything? You’re actually unbelievable,” you spit, shooting daggers at the screen, your brows furrowed, a lethal glare directed at him. Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but he hears him sigh. “I’d like you to know that it’s my decision that I’m with him. Not yours. You’re not in control of it and you never will be again. I’m with him because I want to be with him, not because you let me be with him or because you think it’s good.” 

Your voice rises in volume ever so slightly, respectful of your surroundings, but untethering your heart free nonetheless. A tortured pain coats it, despite the fact you’re holding yourself strong and it drives Jungkook to let go of his spoon, unable to eat when he feels your agony in all its raw immensity. You struck his awe and all he can do is watch you make order of your life. For your sake and also, most remarkably, for his. A beautiful, beautiful sight.

Love unable to be real turning away, slowly, from the dead end. 

“So, we’re over?” Yoongi asks, small—small voice. Jungkook has never heard it before and butterflies zap his stomach with the strongest electricity they could come across. 

Your face doesn’t change and you don’t hesitate to unleash your next words. “I think you should go see other people and heal from this mess. You’ve grown too attached to your own fucked up impressions and you need a reality check.” 

Such coldness, such brutality. Jungkook can’t breathe—finds it hard to believe this is happening right now, that angels are by his side, keeping his bloodstream flowing. He feels as though he’s dreaming again due to the speck of vagueness in your answer. Yes, you’ve told him to go see other people, but he’s also aware that Yoongi needs the raw truth on a silver platter. If there’s anything he hates with all his being, it’s the abyss of obscurities. It’s the space in his brain for him to make up for the emptiness of your words. 

Jungkook intertwines his fingers with yours, his thumb fondling the crook between your thumb and your forefinger, giving you the little strength he possesses in him—the last of it, all he has. 

Are you breaking up with him or are you taking a break? 

Jungkook longs to know, perhaps he needs it, too, even though both options are more than merciful for such a wretched dreamer like him. A dreamer that has stumbled upon gold in a poor, poor world. 

“Honey, please.” Yoongi breaks into sobs and it’s now, now as Jungkook hears the sound of a raw emotion from such a detached person that he softens, his fury snuffed out in a blink of an eye, and he can’t feel his arms, nor his legs. He realizes, most strangely, that it’s his friend, one he spent the last ten years of his life with. The aftertaste of copper pools in his mouth again and his own eyes wet. Yours, too, your chin quivering the more you take in his devastated state. “I can’t do this without you. I–I don’t know how to.” 

Despite your tenderness, your words remain firm. “I think you’ve managed quite well these past few days. You’ve pushed me away, needed space. So go have it. I won’t suffer through it, though. I’ll do what I want, you should, too. You need to heal in the only way you know how. Alone.” 

Yoongi sniffles, taking long breaths to seemingly calm his shuddering lungs. And pity enfolds his heart, pity for his friend that he’s become such a wreck and that he’s a witness to it, more than the cause behind it. He puts the latter to the side, now is not the right time for it. 

He knows what will happen to him once he breaks the dam of self-blame. It’s not what you need right now and he will make sure to keep that dam of your own safe and stable. It’s his duty. 

“Will you wait for me?” Yoongi asks and Jungkook feels that question curl around his gut. With a light layer of sadness, he returns to his food, his stomach grumbling. 

You sigh, swiping your fingers under the skin beneath your lower lashes, perhaps so Yoongi doesn’t see your weakness. Jungkook watches you as he slurps on his noodles, nervous—terribly, terribly nervous. 

“I don’t know if I’m able to trust you like that again,” you conclude, taking a big breath and Jungkook chokes on his food, coughing so hard that you untangle your hand from his and slap his back. “Gotta go. I’ll call you later.” You end the phone call and gently lay down his phone, rubbing his back soothingly as Jungkook splutters. “Are you okay? What happened?”

What happened? You gave him life. Made a pathway for his dreams to come true. Gave him a leeway to walk upon this earth with no weight on his shoulders. Turned something inaccessible accessible. 

Love unreal becomes real, running headlong in the opposite direction of the dead end. 

The last of his aching coughs emit out of his throat and he swallows, lungs heaving with freedom and easy, easy breaths. The air is different, the oxygen much sweeter. You put his tall glass of water into his hand, encouraging him to drink, never letting go of him as Jungkook takes a big sip, the cold liquid washing away all of those dark ashes left from the fire of his fury. His vision blurs once he looks at you in this new, shifted reality and there’s a smile to his face, calmness surging through his body, exhilaration most needed twining around it. 

“You tell me,” Jungkook says, almost out of breath—out of his mind. “What just happened?” 

You go back to your soup, squeeze your fried egg open with your chopsticks. “I’m not letting him hurt me again. I don’t have to be strong and take it, do I?” With the yolk spilling in, you push the entirety of the egg white into your mouth, huffing in delight, rolling your eyes back and chewing, cheeks puffed up like a little squirrel. His own utensils go slack in his hand, watching you enjoy your food, his heart enlarging. But then you furrow your brows and stop chewing. “Fuck, it’s cold, but it’s so good.” You sigh and resume chewing, your eyes flicking across the table, your body bouncing excitedly in your seat. You act as though you didn’t just break your own boyfriend’s heart—as if you led a normal conversation with him, in which he was just checking up with you. Jungkook’s awe is so struck that he can’t speak. Can’t eat. Can’t do anything but watch you with all that love abounding in his being for you. And then you flick your eyes to his and the wrinkle between your brows deepens. “Why aren’t you eating? Is it too cold?” 

He calls your name, firmly. Leans back in his seat with a big sigh. Rubs his eyes with his fingers. “What just happened?” 

There’s simply no way this is real. 

You devour your noodles, swallowing spoonfuls of soup. “I ended things with him, Jungkook, and I’m not coming back to him.” 

His mouth dries, heart picks up speed. How are you saying this with such ease? Isn’t your heart split in two? Your devotion clung to his guy with every breath you took and back at his cabin, you wouldn’t let him play with you unless Yoongi was present. How come it seems like you’re anything but heartbroken right now? 

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks in all honesty, confounded by your behavior. 

You push away your bowl, cradling your full belly. “Yes, I’m okay.” 

He doesn’t really believe you. Losing your appetite was proof enough. “Positive?” 

You look over to the side and your chin begins to quiver. There it is. Your hand flies to your face and you hide the rupture of your pretense behind it. The corners of your face, the only parts he gets to see, flush in red and Jungkook grabs your things with a heavy, sinking heart. Walks over to you and gives you his hand. 

“Let’s go home, sweetheart.” 

The weeping clouds have migrated not just to your eyes but to his, too. The night is deep and Jungkook feels it, ardently, coming to rest beneath his skin, floating on its back upon the stream of his tears that he’s stifling. He’s holding your hand and your purse as he’s leading you to his place. You didn’t want to see the face of your apartment. As a matter of fact, you couldn’t stand anything that reminded you of Yoongi and you begged him to take you somewhere you’ve never been before. Jungkook only nodded, brushing away the tears that managed to escape. Thought he’d bring you to any place you’d ever ask, just as long as you stuck with him. 

He’s gained what he wanted for a long time, but at what cost? The two people he loves the most are broken. One, his dearest, he’s grasping tightly so she wouldn’t fly away. The other is becoming but a memory, ten years going down the drain—never to be seen again, never to be continued. 

He has you, but he lost Yoongi. And the realization hangs, heftily, over his clavicles, swinging back and forth, kicking into his chest. 

He can’t stand the sight of him either, however. How strange. 

Once inside the warmth of his apartment, he can’t help but rid you of the hideous flannel of his that you’re wearing, bunching it up in his fists and throwing it away to the corner of his bench on the side of his wall without you knowing. With his hand on the small of your back, he guides you to his living room and he lets you skim your sight all around it, slipping his fingers under the hem of your tiny top, just touching you there. White walls, brown leather couch, a TV that takes up the most of the space alongside the kitchen with a plain dining area consisting of an old wooden, rectangular table with four chairs. A huge singular space of nothingness that has never felt home-like, not until you’ve stepped inside. 

Now, all of a sudden, it has colors. Vibrant, yet soft-toned with each inhale of his breath. You bring your oxymorons everywhere you go and they stay where you reside, even if you move someplace else. The evidence of it is in his very body. While he feels at his most fragile, he also senses himself to be strong. Strong enough to take care of you right at this moment, be there for you and give you anything you’d ever want. And while his eyes are still wet, cheeks bedewed by his softness, he also wants to break this place—self-blame creeping in, threatening to emerge from the hidden spots somewhere within the battlefield of his chest. 

This is his fault. Had he never said yes, you wouldn’t be in pain and neither would his friend be. But in that scenario, he wouldn’t know you existed. Wouldn’t have you. Would lead a forlorn life, with his paints and his alcohol. 

You would be happy with Yoongi. Radiant, glowy. With your glitters, your little dresses. Your nighttime robes and your little lingerie. 

Would you? Has he ruined your happiness? Has he ruined you? 

Jungkook turns you around to him. He needs to ask you; he needs to have the certainty, otherwise he won’t sleep tonight. Won’t even close his eyes—the thoughts would eat away his drowsiness. Leave only wakefulness in their wake. Jungkook presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there, formulating his words, carefully. His hands clutch your shoulders. Your frail, slender shoulders. 

Yoongi devastated your appetite enough that you lost all your soft fleshiness. He took it away and he doesn’t even perceive it. It was clear to him by the way you pushed your plate away, when your emotions rushed through; you didn’t have to say a word. And although he grieves the personal loss, still this is something he’ll never forgive him for. 

“Would you have been happy if you never knew me?” he asks, subduedly, torment clawing at his vocal cords. “Would you have been happy with him?” 

A teardrop spills down your cheekbone, plopping onto the material of your top, soaking it. You furrow your brows, seem angry at his choice of words and he regrets them, enough that his mouth rounds in a tender emotion that he’s too weak to stifle back. And then you bunch up his T-shirt, just like you did earlier in the dressing room, and there’s a tendril of relief that maybe he didn’t fuck up so majestically. He wants to weep; holding them back pains him too much and that ease, that repose is all he wants. It’s not that he’s shy or unwilling to let out his feelings—it’s just that he’s putting yours above his, deeming them more important. He wants to be strong for you, someone you can lean on—and how can he do that for you when he’s crumbling on the inside? 

“How can you say that to me?” you ask in disbelief and Jungkook wants to rewind back the time. Wants to keep quiet and just hold you through this fateful night. He winces, looking away, his own chin quivering this time and he can’t—he can’t hold back. He possesses no strength. A tear trickles down his cheek, one full of agony, hot against his skin and he whimpers, he whimpers when you cradle his face in your hands, step on your tippy toes and press your lips against his. Your mouth is so warm and he’s shivering with cold; silky while his are ruined by the constant biting he did in the car. He is a ruination—how can you want him? He ruined your relationship. And now even his tears have stained your angelic, pure face. 

“I feel like I’ve ruined everything,” he admits and his chest hurts, lungs tight, body trembling in that persisting cold. “I’ve ruined your relationship. I’ve ruined your life. Yoongi’s. Caused so much pain, so much trauma. Only because I let my friends convince me into going out when I came back from the military.” 

The wrinkle between your brows smooths down and you pout, caressing his face. Jungkook can’t halt the rivulet of his liquid emotions. Not when he feels your love so awfully intensely, embracing him around and around, tightening, giving him a sense of safety. 

“Can I tell you something?” You take his hand in yours and Jungkook already misses your warm touch on his face. He nods. “Where’s your room?” 

He leads you there and you crawl onto his bed, patting the space beside you, curling on your side. He mirrors your position and you prop the side of your leg on his, intertwining your fingers with his on the bedding, moving his hand to your mouth. 

And your words seep into his fist. 

“We were together for five months and I never met his family. Never met his friends, except you. I never really thought about it in depth because he kept me busy, despite the fact all we did was fuck. It was enough for me, I guess, because I’d been alone for a long, long time before I met him. And I’m a bit of a loner myself so I didn’t mind that we spent all of our time in his apartment, fucking and watching movies. It wasn’t until I met you, Jungkook,” you pause, taking a big breath in, fondling his knuckles with your thumb, soothing him, soothing the drowsiness that is suddenly falling upon him like a blanket, waving off his tears, drying them. “That I realized it’s not really supposed to be like this in my life. I remember that night when he was out with you and I was in the bathroom. I thought about when was the last time he took me out and I shivered. I shivered, Jungkook. It was the first seed sown and I didn’t know. And when you came into my life, I spent my weekends out with you. You took me to your cabin, you took me out to dinner dates. Even today you took me to the mall. I realized it’s supposed to be like this. Yoongi never did that.” 

Your words tingle across his fist and he’s quick with his own. “But were you happy?” 

So are you. You don’t hesitate. “I thought I was, but the way I’m happy with you can’t compare to the way I thought I was happy with him.” 

The truth wafts in the air, sweetening it and another onrush of tears come out of his tear ducts. He leans in closer to you, nose to nose, sniffling, sobbing quietly and you kiss his hand. Over and over, breathing against his skin. Light opens in him as the truth unfolds—with the little time he had with you, he managed to make you happier. Not just happy, but happier.

“I had a lot of time to think about this. It wasn’t just today that he didn’t speak to me. He barely did throughout the week, but today was the worst of it all and I couldn’t take it anymore. It hurt, it hurt so much,” you continue and Jungkook knows how much it pains you, when Yoongi abandons you over and over, clawing his fingernails in your scars. He’s glad, brims completely with that gratefulness that it also rolls down his cheeks, mingling with his tears, that you were strong enough to put a stop to it—as hard as it was. “And you know what I think? Yoongi needs someone like that. Someone who’s a much bigger loner than I am. Someone who’s okay with staying home, with keeping things casual. He needs a friend and I’ll continue being that for him, but not in the way he wants. I’ll be there for him, but not as closely as he was used to, you know? It has to be a process. I can’t just disappear out of his life. I don’t have the heart to do that.” 

Extending his arm, Jungkook invites you to rest your head against his bicep—only because he yearns to touch you. Without untangling your intertwinement, you lay against him, breathing in his scent and Jungkook wraps the same arm around your shoulders, cocooning you in. Body to body, his lips against your forehead. You look up at him and he looks down at you, a profound exchange of glances. The reality shifts once more, the energy deepens, filling it with something beyond affection and love—fate thickening the air, intense, earnest and impassioned. And submitting to it, Jungkook raises your chin and kisses you, deeply, slipping his tongue inside just briefly. Kisses your cheek, your neck, your shoulder, hides himself in that crook, breathing with you and nothing else.

A brand new reality. 

He can’t help but think about how smart you are. How admirable, how good. How well you handled everything, how well you made an order out of your life and ultimately out of Yoongi’s, too. Like Jungkook will take care of you, you will take care of Yoongi—not leaving him on his own with his shattered heart and mental health. He just hopes that sometime soon, he will be able to have a part in it, too. It’s his utmost wish. No matter how upset he was with him, how strongly he disliked him in certain moments, it’s still a person he loves, a person he spent the last ten years of his life with. A family, almost. 

“Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?” Jungkook whispers, squeezing you against his body, drawing you closer until your lungs and his gain that singular synchronization. Your leg straddles his torso and he grows greedy, needing you even closer. Needing to get underneath your skin. 

“I’ll try my best to make it happen,” you whisper back, running your fingers through his hair. The light that shines in your eyes faintly illuminates his shadowy room and it’s precisely the one he longed to see. Something tells him it’s here to stay and it drives his thumb to caress your wet lashes, the skin beneath your eyes, your rose-kissed cheek. 

Jungkook trusts you. You’re such a badass that you will succeed in anything you set yourself out to do. And he tells you. Asks you if you want to take a bath. Thinks it will distract your heart from what it knows, from what it’s used to. Teach it something new—something you will connect only with him.

And your reaction enlarges his heart to the point that it breaks his ribcage. Your eyes widen, its light erupting, blinding him, and you gasp, lifting your whole body and grabbing his shirt in your fists. He chuckles in endearment. 

“You have a bathtub?” 

And your eyes almost fall out of their sockets at the sight of it once he carries you to his bathroom and sets you down. He kisses the back of your head, his hands on your hips, guiding you closer to the bathtub, reaching over to lift the tap and let hot water pour down. You both need it after such an emotionally-exhausting day and Jungkook is eager to get in with you. 

“Stay here. Don’t strip. I’ll get your candle,” Jungkook says, lowly, squeezing your hips once and caressing your bum as he turns around and heads to the kitchen. 

He wants to be the one who takes off your clothes. Plans to do something with you he hasn’t done in a long while, something he deems you deserve after everything you’ve been through. He grabs your mango-scented candle, your bag of cheese balls, a lighter and a chair and returns to you. 

You’re crouching by the bathtub, your hand flowing in the hot water, its steam curling, tenderly, your hair cascading down your back. Jungkook pats the back of your head to announce that he’s come back and you smile up at him, your eyes big and twinkling, so magnificent that he grows weak in the knees, butterflies fluttering their wings in his stomach. 

Lighting up your candle, you watch as he does it, each three knots flaring up to life and suffusing the air with a balmy, tropical scent. He sets it down on the chair and, helping you stand up to your feet, he doesn’t waste a second. His fingers hook under the hem of your top and fling it out. And because he knows you’ve never bared yourself like this before him, he hides your nakedness by pressing you against his chest, your soft breasts a pleasure, his digits sliding beneath your leggings and dragging them down your hips, looking over your shoulder. You shimmy out of them, moving your hips ever so delightfully and before he knows it, he’s on his knees—kissing the apex of your thighs as he takes your feet out of the pant legs. And he thinks he could stay here all his life. 

Jungkook looks up at you as he removes your socks, kissing your knee without breaking the gaze, and he hopes that you can sense his love for you in it, the unyielding stability that he will cling to you with his body and soul—simply, with his entire being. 

Rising slowly, he kisses his pathway up, leaving behind the translucent evidence of that love. Your mound, which makes you giggle, a celestial symphony to his ears, your full tummy where he hopes your invisible rose tattoos still are, both sides of your ribs, the middle of your breasts, your sternum, your collarbones, your throat, your chin—up and up until his lips find yours. And he devours them. With such vigor that you hum into his mouth, your hands reaching for his shirt again. 

Oh, you want him to get in as well. Very well. 

He wanted to be the witness to your relaxation, but if it’s your desire that he shares it with you—by all means. He lets you take off his shirt, lifting his arms for you, and you’re quick to allow your hands to discover the parts they don’t know. His mole beneath his left pec that he caught you staring at shortly after that turn of events at the cabin. You press your mouth against it, unravel your love for it there by grazing your teeth against it before you lick it over with your tongue, going as far as marking the spot right beside it. Jungkook sinks his fingers in your hair, reveling in it, tummy tingling, holding you like that as you do what you please. Your own digits descend to his pants, setting him free from them and when you get on your knees just like him, his cock tightens in your face. 

And he dies, angels know for how many times today, when you rub your face in this intimate part of him, his heart bursting.

Not now—he can’t let you do that now. He wants your muscles to relax first before he can strain them all over again, in a much different way. 

“My sweetie,” he starts, sighing, rubbing your scalp. He takes you by the back of your neck, sliding his hand underneath your armpit, and drags you up. A healthy, radiant flush adorns you and he’s glad for the paleness to be gone. Glad his body is the cause of it. It makes his heart happy. “Not now. Let’s get in the tub.” 

Your stiffened nipples brush against his bare chest and he almost doubles over, loving the feeling of it. The sigh that leaves your mouth, so akin to his, too. 

“But you’re hard,” you whisper, tugging down his boxers until his cock springs free and you immediately wrap your small hand around it, squeezing him lightly. 

He can’t help but to grunt, the faint pleasure dizzying. He missed your hand, missed your touch. Haven’t had it in so long. It fits so well in your fist and he believes, in all seriousness, that it belongs to you. It’s yours. 

He brushes his lips against yours, but he doesn’t kiss you. His brain malfunctions a little bit, the pleasure you’re giving him zapping his dominance. “You like holding me like this?” 

You fondle his tip with your thumb and he hisses, sparks of electricity coursing down his body and he hums at the aftershocks. So good. He feels his arousal drip for you; feels himself lengthening in your hand. You nod, watching it happen, and while it feels nice to be looked at like that, he wants your eyes on him. He cradles your face in one hand, making you look at him, and he pecks you. At the contact, you finally nod your head. Jungkook envelops his palm around your fist and guides you to squeeze him harder, groaning onto your mouth. 

“You’re such a good girl,” he praises and embraces you, hiding himself in the crook of your neck again, inhaling you. Petrichor, mango, your personal scent. It’s all he wants to breathe in for the rest of his life. It’s what heaven must smell like. Actually, heaven must be what he’s hugging. 

You whimper and for it Jungkook tightens his hold around you. Skin to skin. He’ll never get over it. “I love being good for you.” 

He hums his approval, following the cascade of your hair down your back with his palm, rooting at your bum, grasping the flesh. “You’re the best girl. Let’s get you clean.” 

The loss of contact aches and he can see it even on your face, an adorable pout forming on your mouth. Helping you get in the bathtub, you wait until he joins you and it’s only then that you sit down, unsure of how both of you are going to fit in such a small space like this. Knees in between his, you exchange a few giggles in the awkwardness of it all before Jungkook kisses them and leads you to lean back against him, your spine against his chest, your body getting lost in his. 

Turning off the tap, the water is scorching but pleasant, his muscles relaxing, the very little remnants of the fight of his self-blame tearing apart at last. It must be as enjoyable for you because once you settle in and you take in the heat, the effect of the candle, the dimmed light and the soft shower of rain pittering against the windows, you let loose completely, your head slack against his sternum, breathing steadily, eyes fluttering closed. Jungkook wraps his arms around you, your breasts pressed against them, and he loves the feeling of your raw femininity in his hands, in such a nonsexual context. His arousal might be alive and longing for you, but that feeling, somehow, overweighs it in a way he’s unable to understand. 

He doesn’t mind; he could stay like this. 

And both of you do for some time, feeling each other’s top halves of bodies, resting, thinking of nothing, until you tip your chin and, puckering your lips, you ask for a kiss. Arch your back until your breasts bounce free from his hold. His cock twitches against your back from the sight and you smirk. 

Sly little girl. He cages them once again, though this time quite differently. One hand grabs the flesh at the base, the other sneaks to your chin, your other breast nudged in the crook of his elbow. His finger traces the lines of your lips, flattened now, kissing it every once in a while. And as if it was a signal for you to open up when he stalls his movement in the middle, you open up for him. And the feeling of your tongue, the suction of your lips, the sound of it all—it drives him to head down the path of absolute madness. 

He might have just found his ultimate weakness. 

Jungkook adds a second finger in, when you angle your body, so he can have a good view of it, your head propped against the bathtub wall, lidded eyes fixed on him. 

So much for relaxing. He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, swiftly, causing your brows to knit in confusion. It humors him, but you’re not getting your way that easily. 

“You should relax,” he scolds in a teasing manner, not meaning a word of it. “You’ve had a long day of shopping.” 

You laugh through your nose, a soft smile gracing your lips and for a split second, Jungkook wonders if he didn’t ruin the moment again by altering the reality again, bringing back the memory of what’s happened. If he didn’t invite in your guilt, perhaps. You’re here with him, about to be made love to, while the person you still love is dealing with brokenness on the other side of the city. 

And he tells you in the form of a kiss sunk into your cheek, drawing your body closer to him, cradling the back of your neck, squishing you against him. It causes you to turn your body to the side, slightly, and Jungkook hikes you higher, letting you lean your face against his cheek like that, pecking you over and over again. There isn’t enough body of water to overspill from the tub, but your shifting caused small waves to lap at your body and Jungkook finds himself transfixed by the sight of it. It seems as though the ripples are worshiping your body and an inkling to do the same, to do better, rises in him—as well as the impulse to tell you with words this time. 

He should verbally communicate with you. Just to be safe. 

“Did I remind you of it again?” 

Your fingertips follow the valleys of his abdomen, half dipped in the water. 

“Remind me of what?” you say and there’s a striking gentleness to your voice, some kind of blissfulness that feels terribly foreign to him. “Of my freedom?” 

A bearable tightness clutches his chest, interlaced, most heartily, with the simplicity of his shock. Freedom. With his directions, you set yourself free. It should be something to perhaps honor and rejoice over—so why is there still a morsel of pity swarming in him? He needs you to tell him. 

A streamlet of tears blurs his vision. Because his clinginess to you intensifies with each move forward, for the most part. Because he feels bad for his friend, for the lesser. 

“Why do I feel so bad for him?” Jungkook questions, pressing you harder against him until there isn’t any more space to push you into. 

You plop your body onto his. Chest to chest. Tummy to tummy. His cock, a bit soft now, against your femininity. Nonsexually, in all its beauty. You drag your thumbs under his waterline, collecting his essence of pain. His heart constricts. 

“My freedom is his,” you say, still holding him like that—both palms on his cheeks. “We’d be stuck in a circle like this. We’d go round and round until one of us would burst and end things eventually. He’d never fully heal in this environment. He’d never look past his own insecurities, not when I’d continue to enjoy myself with you the way I always did.” 

He thinks the merry go round had already begun the moment he and Yoongi made up and tried again. And considering the last thing he said to him on the phone today, there’s nothing left to do but to accept it. 

Your freedom is his. Those words ring in his headspace, settling there. By unbuckling yourself from the seat of that ride, you did the same for him. And while you got off, Yoongi still remains seated. 

For now. 

He’ll get out of there. Jungkook believes in him. 

“I’m meant to be with you,” you say and his heart goes wild, violently, under your forearm. For you. You’ve said it. You’ve made it official. Brought it into this new reality and Jungkook could weep again—and he does. Touched by his emotions, you kiss his tears, sighing against them. “I’m yours, Jungkook. Have been the moment I looked into your eyes the very first time.” 

Your bare, boundless truth drives him to reveal his, too. Such power you have, such strength. 

“You know I have feelings for you, right?” he murmurs, an allusion to the way you wept together in the dressing room, brushing your hair back, feeling his tenderness radiating off of his eyes, immensely. How easy it is, to tell you something groundbreaking like that, even as absurdly as he did. “Don’t let go of me. Don’t let go of those feelings. Keep them safe.” 

Your own tears pool in your waterline and you nod, a smile glinting upon your lips. So you knew, felt the love like he did, enkindled by your mutual release. He wasn’t wrong. His heart pounds and for the first time upon this trajectory, this doesn’t feel unreal. It feels real. Alive, possible, full of life. 

“I do, too. Held them in for so long. Never admitted it to myself for his sake. But that’s over now. I’ll keep it safe. All of you, Jungkook.” 

You love him. 

His sobs gather in his sternum, his lungs too small to capture them in place. 

You love him. And it’s real. 

Gripping your hair, he kisses you, deeply. And both streams of tears turn into one river—and both of you can’t halt the hunger creeping in. The hunger for more, for your love to burst at last and absorb your reality. Tongues mingling, tasting something new. Teeth clashing, lips tingling. Breaths hard and ragged. Jungkook can’t take it. Can’t hold back his body from lifting off of the rounded wall of the tub, the water sloshing and splashing all around. 

And then you say something that grazes his madness ever so unmercifully. 

“Put it in.” 

He groans, biting your bottom lip, fingertips making dents on your small waist. Horny girl, asking for something you can’t handle. He swears, his arousal awakening yet again in full speed, taking over him wholly. “I haven’t stretched you out yet.” 

You grind your femininity against his tightening cock and he’s done for, feeling your pulse. “Stretch me out like this.” 

He squeezes your ass hard, making you moan onto his mouth, in effort to make you listen to him and submit to his better knowing. “It’ll hurt, sweetheart.” 

Your breath wafts over him as you close your lips over his, sucking. “I can take it.” 

Such a stark contrast to the words you uttered in the dressing room. His madness heightens. So much that he moans into your lip lock, dipping you in the water to make you laugh, clutching onto him as you yelp, your adorable laughter vibrating through the bathroom, bouncing off of the walls and sneaking, in the long run, into the chambers of his heart, coming to live there.  

This is happiness. 

And the vibrations are too, too much for him to handle. So unusual, so beautiful. 

“Hold onto me,” Jungkook commands as he wraps your legs around his torso tighter and rises, stepping out of the bathtub and reaching for a towel in his cabinet while his other hand holds you steady by his forearm under your bum like a child. 

Leaving you to your own strength for a second, he wraps the large fabric around you both, bunching the ends in his fist on your back, exiting out of the bathroom and laying you down onto his bed. Your hair sprawls on his bedding and he thinks you look like an angel, maddened just the same by something beyond lust, by something way purer. He kisses your lips, fleetingly, and begins to focus on your neck, unfurling his love there. He sucks your wet skin, licking it all over, scattering his hard kisses there—the ones that drive you wild, moaning loudly and bravely, deservingly so. And he marks this victorious day there with pretty, pretty colors of red and purple. Doesn’t stop. Not until you beg him, writhing underneath him, excited and eager. 

“Please, Jungkook, take me.” 

Such sweet, innocent words. He listens, cooing, dragging you further up on the bed, so he can lie on top of you and take his hard kisses further down, marking all the places where your invisible tattoos are, bringing them to life all over again. Above both of your nipples, especially on the right one, where that frilly rose was, covering the peak. And he feels you melt, feels you soak his lower abdomen when he sucks on that nub, flicking his tongue, making you cry out so beautifully, so desperately that his arousal for you rigidifies. And when he looks at his artwork, fists propped on either side of you like his knees, it steals all of his breath. 

“You look so beautiful like this. All mine.” 

All his, wet with the last drops of water, with the pearls of his saliva, with your essence coating your folds. Adorned with red tattoos. He has his own on his arm and hand, except on his chest and he thinks the one he gave you make up for it. Thinks they’re his as much as they’re yours and it causes his length to twitch against his stomach, so terribly needy for you. 

“And you look beautiful like this. All hard for me,” you mimic his words and he grows feral, even more so when you continue. “It’s all mine, isn’t it?” You take him into your hand again, but he pins both of your wrists down, above your head. And the smile you grace him with—it makes him yearn to make love to you like this. Bound, while the rest of you would remain the quite opposite. 

He growls, kissing you. “All yours. All yours for you to take and come around. All yours, my sweetheart. Always has been.” He kisses you harder and you whimper. Pulls away just to swirl his tongue around yours, open mouth and all, before closing his lips down again in a profound, warm and homely lock. “Spread your legs for me. I’m gonna get you ready for it.” 

He does it himself, folding you in half, the glistening of your folds visible even in the slight lack of light in the room. Oh, he can’t have you like this. Reaching behind himself, he turns on his bedside lamp, bathing you in a soft, yellow light that suits you the most. You’re holding your legs apart for him and he places wet kisses on the back of your thigh, ravagedly, to reward you for it, trailing them down until he’s face to face with your drenched princess parts. And it’s a groan of relief that emits out of him when he’s this close to you, hands pushing your knees down, spreading you even more to gratify his hunger. 

He’s starving. Terribly starving. 

And he rolls his eyes back when he takes the entirety of you into his mouth, tongue dragging upon your slit, up and down, drinking your dew, penetrating only a little bit just to tease you, just to mess around with your madness. And when he flattens his tongue against your swollen clit, you cry out. Surprise him when you grip his hair, enough to cause him to flick his eyes to you. Your mouth is parted, but grinning nonetheless, your own eyes heavily lidded, emitting light and joy and Jungkook simply decides to make this experience better for you. 

He lifts your hips in the air and devours you, lapping at your clit over and over again, letting you see what he’s doing to you without taking his eyes off of you, nose pressed against your shiny mound. You whisper your vulgarities and he’d let it pass if he didn’t consider this a holy, spiritual occurrence. He withdraws and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him, the way your slick trickles down your clit and your mound, rooting in the squishy part of your lower tummy. He hums, delighting in the sight. 

“Be good,” he scolds, smiling down at you and your grin widens. You nod your head, your hands still crossed above you without his to hold them down. Scratch his words—you’re already the best girl. He licks up the trickle of your essence trailing down your clit, making you writhe again. “Feel how wet you are for me.” 

Carefully, you skim your palm down your soaked belly, gasping, until your fingers reach your nub, the concoction of his saliva and your arousal seeping into your skin. He encourages you with noises of approval to keep going, bending you even more in half, your back leaning against his thighs, the pads of your fingers circling your center, eyes wide at the discovery, able to see just how celestially aroused you are for him. So beautiful. He bites onto the flesh upon the side of your thigh, only because he can’t help it, soothing down the sting with his tongue. And he hums at the sound of your moans, at the sound of your slipperiness when you drag your fingers down to your clit and stop there. 

“Hm, yes, sweetheart, rub that pretty clit for me,” he murmurs and his chest explodes at the principle that he’s able to say that to you. That he doesn’t need anyone’s permission or approval. That he can do whatever he pleases with you without any consequences to reap. That he’s free. You must be thinking about this, too, but in a different way, because you hesitate. He’ll destroy that dubiety. It won’t show its face again—as long as he lives on this earth. “You can do it, my love. You’re free.” 

The reassurance washes over you and rids you of that fleeting negativity. He understands this is new for the both of you—there’s some still getting used to, so it’s completely normal. He’ll try his hardest to make this as much of an easy ride for you as he can. It’s his duty. 

“Don’t be afraid,” he continues, adding your name, softly. “You’re here with me and you’re safe.” 

Jungkook leans over and kisses you. You nod into the kiss and he returns to his position, catching you rubbing your clit, slowly, with two fingers, the other spread on your folds. And both of you moan simultaneously. 

“That’s it,” he whispers, enthralled, making way for the sound of your slick to overpower the atmosphere. “That’s my good girl. Make yourself feel good for me.” 

You whimper his name, buckling your hips in his hold, squeezing your eyes shut and Jungkook can see the waves of pressure charging your tender body. Now is the time for his participation. 

He sinks his middle finger inside, making your eyes pop open and stare him down, just for you to submerge yourself under the surface of that sea of lust and let your irises whisk back. Your walls clench around him and he waits until you speed up your circles to join his other finger, biting his lip to push back his desire to sink himself inside you. He tries to pay little attention to the way he drips for you. 

But then you use the rest of your fingers to bring yourself to your climax and Jungkook takes it as a sign. Another finger in, he curls them, fucking you the way you like. Fast, grazing your sweet little spot that beckons your sweat out of your pores and when your pussy drools even more for him, he adds another. You gasp and he knows exactly how you’re feeling, how good this is for you. 

“You feel so full, sweetheart, don’t you?” he coos, jackhammering his hand harder and you drench it, completely. He flattens his fingers, allowing you to see the thick sheen and you mewl, a litany of his name spilling along. “You’re so wet. So horny for me, aren’t you? You’re gonna come?” 

You scream your agreement, squirming, strumming your fingers harder and this is it for him. He changes direction. Fucks his fingers up and down and your toes curl, chest heaving heavily and you just keep on screaming. A delightful sound. 

“Come for me, then. Like the best girl you are.” 

You clench around him. So much that he can barely move his fingers, sunk in so deeply. He just flexes them, drawing out your orgasm and you give it to him. 

And you’re wet all over again. Sprinkled by pearls upon pearls of your pleasure. He is, too, and it worsens his desperation for you. 

You’re panting, but he’s not done with you. Setting you down, he laps up the violent evidence of your orgasm, making you twitch in overstimulation and he eases the pressure of his tongue for you. Sucking on your folds, he decides to mark you there. Just below your hip bone, too. Such intimate places. Perfect for a temporary keepsake like this. 

Hovering above you, he circles his tongue tinged with your taste around yours, forcing you to moan again. And he kisses you softly. “You deserved that orgasm.” 

You whine, red all over, and Jungkook understands you need more. He pulls away, clutches himself to line up at your entrance, but you stop him. 

“I want you.” 

He smirks, longs to hear you be more specific. “How?” 

You huff. So adorable. “In my mouth.” 

He chuckles. Should’ve asked where, but he’s at your service—he’s willing to give you anything you want. “All right, but just for a little bit, okay?” You nod, vehemently, and he pats your cheek. “On your knees.” 

Oh, he’ll never tire of the view of your submissiveness, of your hunger for such a private part of him. He makes a mess for you on the towel, dripping more than he ever has, and he holds himself at the base, grabbing your jaw in his hand. Brutality, the one he’s obsessed with, swims past your irises when you gaze up at him. A feral animal, an angel in hiding—he’d love to embellish you with the sticky traces of his fixation, but he shouldn’t, no matter how much he craves it. He can’t stain you, not today. Can’t ruin the holiness. He’ll let you play with him before he seals it for all eternity. 

Tomorrow he will. Smear you with it until it’s all your pores know. 

Jungkook traces the lines of your mouth with the tip of his length, just like he did with his finger in the bathtub, and you hum, liking it. He can vividly see your yearning to rub your face against him again and he lets you, encourages you in fact, pulling you closer until you nuzzle your nose against his girth, his skin caressing your cheek, and you kiss him all over. Place your hands over his and suck him inside your mouth, drinking his precum. Only to withdraw right away, sit back on your legs without lifting your hands, and look up at him with the vastness of your overbearing innocence and love. 

“You’re mine,” you purr, fucking him with your fist. 

Jungkook nods, just once. Doesn’t even feel his butterflies anymore, too numbed by you, by the pleasure you’re giving him. “That’s right, my love.” 

You suck in a breath, biting your lip hard as if it took all of your energy not to make him come at this very instant. And you lengthen your spine, asking for a kiss again, and he bends at the waist, kissing you nastily, pushing your head back to his cock, inciting you to do what you truly crave to. 

And you take him so well, your cheeks hollow, and he’s unabashed, free to let out his male noises, whimpering for you, panting heavily as you bob your head, slurping him, spitting on him. You toy with his tip, tugging at his length, colliding into his fist and it isn’t until you rub your face against his balls that it becomes his undoing. He stalls his orgasm, strains to do so, just to please you and he pries your hands away from his length, lets you focus on his sack. The least he could do to last. But then you grab it into your fist, sucking his balls, one by one, into your mouth, even try to take both of them at once and that’s it. He can’t breathe, his heart wringing painfully with all the love that brims in him for you. No one has ever done that to him. 

You flick your tongue against them, your other hand wrapping around his tip again, tugging and he nears dangerously close to the bursting of his orgasm. 

“That’s enough.” 

He draws you away from his cock, using all of his strength, and pins you down. A splutter of your giggles waft in the air, your chin wet with your spit and he moves his mouth so rapidly against yours that you struggle to kiss him back, growing calm all of a sudden, as if overcome with the gravity of it all. 

He looks at you for a long while. Puffy, red mouth, that he craves to bite onto—and he does. Darkened eyes, full of freedom and exhilaration. Neck, chest, tummy and the rest of the delicious parts of you scattered with hickeys, with his own personal keepsakes. He loves you so much that he becomes frustrated, needing to let it out somehow. All of his muscles tense and he clenches his grip on your wrists. 

“You want me to die? Is that what you want?” he hisses, speaking of the sloppy blowjob you gave him, gliding his wet cock across your seashell. You lose a breath, drowsy eyes fluttering, spreading your legs for him. No wonder you’re tired—you gave it your all. He sinks his teeth hard into his bottom lip, his frustration rising, brows knitted. “You can’t play with me like that. I was seconds away from coming all over your pretty face.” 

“I wanted you to,” you say, loud and clear, and Jungkook is hot all over. 

Turning you over to your side, he squeezes the flesh of your bum until it hurts as a punishment, knowing you’re not ready for the full thing. It’s too soon. Your wincing breaks into a low, alluring moan and it fills him with adrenaline. And then you smile at him, light flashing in your countenance. You’re anything but punished; you’re pleased. 

Looks like you need another form of punishment. 

Fuck it, fuck all spiritual aspects of this. The angels in heaven need to look away for now and cover their ears. He’s going to make love to you in a way they’ve never witnessed before and it’s good that they never will. 

“What did you say?” Jungkook feignedly questions, pinning you back down and burying himself in your heat. Having stretched you out well enough, he gives you his half right away, but he doesn’t stop there, not when you lift your chest off of the mattress, not when you lose yourself in the sudden fullness and the music of your mutual moans. You grip him so tight that he forgets, for a split moment, what he’s punishing you for. 

You stammer, seemingly forgetting, too. And when his mound kisses yours, your words falter altogether—a crescendo into silence. Eyes wide, unblinking, taking him most courageously. Jungkook hums, immensely proud of you, slowly pounding you into the mattress with hard strokes. 

And when he gives you a particularly unmerciful one, you scream, shaking all over in his hands. 

“Yes, sweetheart, that’s what you get,” he purrs, grinding his hips, loving the way he toys with your senses, your peaked nubs digging into his chest, and you can’t catch your breath, your whole body tense. “Too deep?” 

You nod. “Too deep, baby, I can’t take it, fuck. It’s too much.” 

Cooing, he kisses you. The pet name, your tightness—he’s losing his mind and it’s your fault. Your wonderful, wonderful fault. You don’t even let him pull out, you keep him caged in, your walls fluttering against him and he whimpers, shaking like you, unable to continue kissing you. 

“Relax, my love, or you’re really gonna kill me,” he croaks out, ascending to heavenly places where they don’t, in most certainty, don’t want to see him. Sitting back on his feet, he thumbs your clit, helping you calm down. “Good girl. Feels good, stuffed full like this? My thumb rubbing your sweet little clit, hm?” 

It is a miracle, the way he knows your body and knows what to do with it because your walls loosen, enabling him to fuck you, sloppily, your slick squeaking along with your quickening breaths. You scream out your yeses, driving him to give you his all. 

“Just like that,” he whispers, approving, his balls tightening already, the pressure in his lower tummy becoming bigger. 

You deserve the full thing, though. Jungkook places your knee on his shoulder. And with each stroke, his mound stimulates your clit, getting you nice and fast to his level. 

He cradles your blissed-out face, the heel of his palm putting pressure on your throat. And onto that expression of elation, he uncoils his love for you, brutally fucking you until your whole body ripples beneath him. 

“Whose are you, huh?” he moans, driving into you, rearranging your guts. Sweat drips off of his forehead. “Whose pretty girl are you?” 

Your own sounds of pleasure rise in pitch and volume and he senses, he knows you’re about to come for him. 

“Yours, Jungkook, yours,” you choke out and he’s so proud of you that he hums, his balls slapping against your bum, and he kisses you, giving you his tongue. You suck on it, getting him right there to the edge of his orgasm. 

“Fuck, such a good girl. All mine. You know that I love you, right?” 

And the once reappearing absurdity of his choice of words pushes over that edge and you squeeze him, squeeze him hard, milking his cum out of you and he growls into your mouth. You take over each and every one of his senses, making them yours, and he fucks his cum into you, his mouth smacking against yours, as you whisper your I love you’s and he swallows them down. 

Heaven or something beyond. You created it and he wants to spend the rest of his life there. 

Panting, he kisses your jaw, marking you there for the last time. Unbelief grasping him that he finds himself in such a place glazed with love. “You love me?” 

You whimper, shuddering all over, your orgasm still seizing you. “I love you so fucking much.” 

He licks into your mouth, ending your release. “My best girl. I’ll take care of you. I’ll never let you go. You’re never getting out of my sight again.” 

Jungkook lets go of your wrists. They must be cramping, tingling and he massages them in the air, sitting back, his length still inside your homely heat. Your eyes wet again, sobs break out of your mouth and he shushes you most affectionately, his heart twinging. He lifts you and sits you down on his lap, hugging you close to his chest. Skin to skin. You cling to him with everything in you and he holds you together, so you don’t fall apart. 

“You’re my savior. My healer,” you wail, gripping his hair. As if your breaking wasn’t enough, your words hit him hard and his vision soaks along with yours. You’ve never told him that before—never told him the roles he has in your life. He appreciates them so much, holds them dear to his heart. Never wants to forget them. “Don’t ever leave me, please. I beg you.” 

It’s him who now breaks. Right there on your shoulder, beneath the waterfall of your hair. 

“I could never. You’re my life. You’re my everything. How could I ever leave you?” 

You sob harder, lifting your head, and the sight of your rawness makes him fall even more in love with you. Jungkook smooths down your hair and wipes away your tears. Kisses you, deeply, and lingers there. And along with the kiss, you and him exchange your last I love you’s for the night. 

Tub drained, candle snuffed out, cheese balls devoured, the rain finishing like that chapter of your life—Jungkook feels himself entering a brand new one with you, one where Yoongi isn’t present, as he dresses you in his clothes. For panties, he slinks your legs into his boxers, keeping them warm with a pair of his own joggers. Then, he tugs his hoodie down your head, pushing your arms through the sleeves. Smirks at the way his clothes fit you well. As if they were your own. At the way he matches with you. 

He overflows with a thrumming life. 

A brand new chapter filled with myriads of different, ecstatic possibilities. And you seal them to completion, when tucked in bed, lying on his chest, you sleepily utter the first prospect that you want to bring to life.

“Will you take me to your cabin tomorrow?” 

His breath hitches in his throat. He never thought he’d be returning there so soon, especially not with you. His mouth quirks up, body suffused with a foreign excitement, and right away he deduces the reason why you want to go there. 

“You really want that dildo, don’t you?” 

You merely laugh through your nose. 

Oh, he’s calling in sick tomorrow. Will take you there first thing in the morning. Will do absolutely anything for you. 

“I’ll fuck you hard with it until you completely drench it, then. Sleep for now, so we can get to tomorrow.” 

You kiss his clothed chest. Nuzzle your face in it. Whisper your thank you. Jungkook pretends he didn’t just get hard all over again. 

“Good night,” you say. 

He pecks your hair. “Good night, sweetheart.” 

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.

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[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (12)

ー☆ Chapter 12: Shame On Me

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cursing ー☆ Word count: 5.5k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hiii, my lovelies! Shorter chapter but you won't have to wait too long, I'll update next week again! I don't think there will be any more updates to my other stories this week because I'm going to visit my bestie on Thursday and I only come home on Sunday (can't wait to see you again Orsi *cries*). You know the drill, please listen to Shame On Me before or while reading, thank you!! So, uh, you all will hate me after this chapter, I'm sorry in advance, but you can go scream at me in the notes and reblogs! <3 However, I promise the angst won't last for too long :D Thank you all for reading and always leaving feedback, I appreciate it a lot! I hope you enjoy this chapter, don't hate me pls. divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf @hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss @catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

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            It was quite ominous how well I had slept last night, and despite feeling my eyes burn from staying up too late and not getting enough sleep, I felt well-rested. Perhaps the unusual warmth engulfing my body had something to do with the way my muscles seemed to become one with the mattress, and the comfortable weight around my waist also made me want to give in to the calling of another slumber. I had woken up a few times before, trying to find new comfortable positions as I could hear the birds chirp outside and the sweet cologne that clung to my clothes and the sheets tingled my nose in a way I had to suppress a sneeze. But the sun was high up in the sky already, the blinds open as I felt the warmth of the sunlight on my face. I released a content sigh as my muscles begged for a good stretch, making me groan when I felt a few vertebras pop, tension releasing between them. Gosh, I wish I could wake up feeling this refreshed every morning.

The covers were thick, and thus, the non-existent melody of the bed calling out to me to stay for longer won as I melted back against the pillow, licking my dry lips as I was mildly surprised that there was no impeding headache. I would usually feel hungover even if I drank only a little—hence why I preferred staying away from alcohol—but maybe that hot chocolate I had last night was some magic drink. There was a low groan next to me and I smiled for a second, feeling thick fingers tangle into the waistband of the sweatpants I was wearing, definitely not mine as they rode a little too low on my hips. The strings must’ve come undone in my sleep as I kept shifting around. Not really thinking as I was still under the blissful grip of a good night’s sleep, I sneaked my right arm underneath the covers and gently traced the warm skin of the arm pressing against my torso. There was another low hum and I smiled as I turned my head to the left, eyes protesting as I tried to peel them open. Perhaps that can wait until my brain is fully functioning.

“Good morning.” Mingi’s voice was husky and it covered my arms in goosebumps as I felt butterflies in my stomach, the heath of my cheeks unnatural once again.

“Morning.” I whispered and bit my bottom lip, feeling the bed shift again as Mingi’s hand now held my waist firmly, fingers rubbing circles into the skin where his borrowed t-shirt had ridden up. Feeling eyes on me, I opened one eye and chuckled as I saw Mingi’s puffy face, halfway hidden into his pillow as he lay on his stomach, red lips swollen and platinum blonde hair disheveled in every possible way. Mingi’s cheeks tinged pink and he grumbled something intangible as he hid his face into the pillow, feigning a tickle at my waist as I squirmed and pushed his hand off, heartbeat picking up as Mingi caught my hand before I could pull it away and interlaced our fingers. My eyes were painfully dry but I rubbed them with the heel of my left palm, rubbing my face afterwards as the haze of sleep slowly had started dissipating.

So, turns out all of this wasn’t a dream. I did go to Outlaw to watch Mingi perform, I did get drunk and got into a tiny argument with Mingi, and he did drive me home afterwards. And apparently, I did sleep over wearing his clothes and using his toiletries and we did—we did kiss. I gulped and licked my dry lips again, feeling the butterflies dissipate in my stomach as instead a lump formed in my throat. I released a shaky breath as I felt Mingi caress my knuckles underneath the covers, and then he turned his head to look at me. He looked—content. He looked happy. His face was serene and he looked like he has been waiting for this moment for ages. Something in my chest ached at the thought and I gulped, feeling the blissful morning daze dissipate completely and get replace by a slowly impeding dread. I released a shaky sigh as a heartbreakingly beautiful smile graced Mingi’s lips, mouth forming a boxy shape that showed all of his teeth—the protruding front ones that I grew to adore—his nose wrinkling and eyes creasing. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so good anymore, I felt like I wanted to cry.

Why was Mingi so perfect? Why was he so kind to me? Why did he treat me so well? Why was he so patient with me? Why did he stick by my side for so long? What was it about me that he liked? What did Mingi want from me?

I froze as suddenly Mingi pushed up onto his elbows and started leaning over me, that smile still present on his lips as he released my hand to caress my cheek. My hands trembled as I tried to hold his eye contact, but all of a sudden I felt sick. I felt dirty and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everything smelled like Mingi, everything felt like Mingi—it was too much. Perhaps he saw the subtle shift in my expression as he stopped for a second, eyebrows slightly furrowing, but then his warm lips touched the corner of my mouth and it made my muscles tense up and send my mind off into an alarmed frenzy.

I couldn’t be here, I had to leave. No. What was I doing? How could I do this when I knew Mingi is Yunho’s best friend? How could I hide something like that from him? Why did I let him kiss me and why did I kiss him back? Why have I—why the hell have I started liking Mingi so much that having him next to me suddenly felt right and being away from him made me anxious, made it feel so wrong?

Unable to control myself anymore, I sprung up from the bed, trying to keep my breaths labored as Mingi sat up alarmed, eyebrows furrowing as he watched me scramble around his room looking for my clothes. I couldn’t remember where he had placed them last night—whether I had left them in bathroom or had brought them to the living room. I heard the sheets crinkle as no doubt Mingi was getting out of bed too, I could feel his piercing gaze follow my every move.

“You—” He hesitated for a second, “You don’t have to leave so early—I mean, it’s not that early, but I want to make us breakfast. I promise I’m not a bad cook.”

I bit my lower lip as my eyebrows furrowed, my body freezing as my heart clenched. I wanted that, I wanted to stay with Mingi and eat breakfast and laugh and just let go of everything and forget every single one of my worries, but I couldn’t. I felt so guilty, I couldn’t even turn around and face him. I had to leave and I had to get rid of him, it would be best for the both of us.

“I’m not hungry.” My voice was barely above a whisper, cold, and distant. I finally spotted my clothes sitting neatly folded on Mingi’s desk chair and I leaped towards them, my fingers curling tightly into them as I cradled them into my arms, somehow hoping that it would bring any sort of comfort. It didn’t because I could still feel Mingi’s eyes on me and hear the way his steps faltered.

“Oh, then…” He fell silent and I felt my hands’ tremors worsen, making me bite into my bottom lip to try and keep myself level-headed. It was hard, and I was failing at it, “We could grab some coffee and—”

“I’m going home, Mingi.” I snapped, cutting off his rambling because I was unable to listen to his warm and soothing voice anymore, now laced with obvious hurt and dejection. I wasn’t only hurting myself anymore, I was hurting him too. And I hated myself. He deserved better. Mingi deserves someone who cherishes him and makes him happy, not someone who brings his hopes up and then stomps on his heart like it means nothing. I didn’t want to do this, but I felt like I had no choice. I had dug my own grave by indulging into his little games—they weren’t games, Mingi has been genuine from the get go—and now here I was, suffering the consequences of my own actions.

“I—Y/N.” I froze as my hand reached for the handle to open the door, I couldn’t face him, “What we did—what happened last night, I—no, the kiss, we can’t just glaze over it, I can’t—I can’t do that anymore. Please, what are we?”

I squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden tears in them and inhaled a long breath, slowly twisting the handle of the door so that I could flee easier, “The kiss was—a mistake. We were both caught up in our feels and I—I didn’t mean to do that. I never wanted to kiss you. I don’t—it means nothing. We are nothing, Mingi.”

If the same words echoed in my mind but sounded a lot more masculine and venomous, puppylike eyes narrowed and glaring down at me, I gulped and repressed the memory, rushing out of Mingi’s room in a panic. I didn’t want to hear the way Mingi gasped nor the way he called out in confusion after me as I made it towards the shoe rack, finding my boots placed neatly next to his. It took everything I had in me to keep it together, to swallow the tears that wanted to escape my eyes, to keep my voice firm.

“What do you mean it meant nothing?” Mingi didn’t even sound angry, he sounded so utterly hurt, that a tear unintentionally trickled down my cheek, “It couldn’t have meant nothing, Y/N, we’ve been dancing around each other for too long for it to mean nothing. You’ve—I’ve kissed you before, not like this of course, but we did kiss and we’ve held hands and you—you can’t just fucking say it means nothing when it means everything to me!”

Fuck.

Perhaps it was good that he was finally showing any other reaction than disappointment and hurt, perhaps I pitied myself less if he was angry at me and shouting—I deserved it. I really did, every mean thing he’d hurl at me, I deserved to hear them because he was right. He was, he had always been. I’m a horrible awful being and I played with his feelings just like Yunho had played with mine. How could I hate Yunho so much when I was just like him?

“We’re both honest and blunt people, Mingi, there’s no reason to dance around this.” My voice sounded leveled, calm, almost as if it was mocking Mingi’s despair and I felt like complete shit, “Quite frankly put, I don’t want to see you again. This everything—whatever the hell we’ve been doing for the past three months, it was a shitshow. I don’t know what your purpose behind your actions was but I know mine and it has nothing to do with—whatever we’ve done last night. There’s no such thing as friendship between a girl and boy, it never works out, somebody always gets heartbroken and that’s exactly what’s happening right now. I think we both mislead each other, which led to this misunderstanding, so yes, it means nothing because I don’t want anything from you, but you clearly want something I cannot give you.”

The deafening silence felt like a slap to my face and it almost made me whirl around to apologize for my harsh words, to tell him that it was all a lie, that I liked him more than who I thought was my first love. I had always thought I loved Yunho with my whole being, that I gave him all of myself, but that wasn’t true. Yunho had never seen me at my lowest, Yunho never tried to fix the issues between us, he never reached out if he knew he did something wrong, he never even tried to pursue me—it was all me, all along. I was the one fighting for us and Yunho just went along with it because it was comfortable, because I was a stable point in his chaotic life, somebody he knew he could come back to. And I was treating Mingi as if he did the same thing to me, as if he was just another replica of Yunho—when he wasn’t. Mingi was so much more than Yunho would ever be, and I ruined everything in the span of five minutes.

I didn’t even bother lacing up my boots as I stepped into them, afraid to look back, but unable to stop myself when the silence just continued to stretch on. I didn’t expect to see Mingi’s eyes bloodshot, nor his bottom lip red and swollen from getting chewed on too much. Fuck, why did my heart ache more than when Yunho left me?!

“I never wanted to be your friend, doll.” The way his tone was emotionless yet his lips uttered the nickname, it made my lungs constrict as the lump got bigger and bigger in my throat, “But I knew you needed time, so I gave it to you. Perhaps—perhaps I shouldn’t have, maybe I should have been cleared with my intentions—”

“Mingi.” I snapped, eyebrows furrowing as we made eye contact. I couldn’t listen to him anymore; I couldn’t bear to hear him make up excuses for the sake of me. Why was he not screaming at me, why was he not hurting me? This is why he was too good for me, why I didn’t deserve him, “Delete my number.”

“You know your way out.” And I did know it. Without saying anything else, I unlocked the front door and ripped it open, slamming it shut behind me as I raced towards the stairs, hissing as my eyes got blurry and obscured my view of where I was stepping. But I had to get out of the building as fast as possible, scared that Mingi would race after me, that he’d try to reason with me one more time because it would work. It would work and I would give in. I would tell him the truth and then everything would be more painful. I was saving him from the betrayal he didn’t deserve, I was saving him from me, who never treated him right. I thought he was an asshole, an arrogant guy who yearned for attention and validation from every breathing female. But that wasn’t true, Mingi was a selfless and hard-working man who put others above himself, he wasn’t greedy and he wore his heart on his sleeve, ready to offer all the love his body contained without expecting anything in return. And I was a horrible human being because I took advantage of his kindness and goodness, because in the process of trying to get rid of him—I fell for him.

I was gasping for air by the time I stumbled out of the building, the wind harsh and cold as I scrambled to wear my jacket over Mingi’s thin t-shirt. It did nothing to shield me from the harsh weather and perhaps I deserved it, perhaps I deserved to be stared at by the passerby people with questioning or judgmental stares. I had no idea where I was, but thankfully finding my phone in my pocket, I was able to walk myself to a bus station and wait for a bus that would take me home. Mingi lived almost thirty minutes away from my place, but that was fine, I could keep it together for so long. I wouldn’t cry, I refused to cry, this was my own punishment. As I sat on the bench at the bus station, the heather above head lessening the chill that seemed to bite at my body, I closed my eyes and wallowed in the tumultuous emotions I felt.

This was far from how I wanted things to go, I thought I was better, that I could control myself and keep everything in check, but at last, I failed. I failed and now I hurt the guy I had fallen for. I was scared, I was afraid of getting left behind like it previously had happened, and so I wanted to protect myself. I struck before he could. I thought I would be protecting my heart and getting the upper hand, but then why was my heart aching and my stomach clenching so hard that it made me feel nauseous? Why do I always mess things up when they finally go right? Can’t I have something good for myself? Is it so hard to believe that not all guys are like Yunho? But Mingi is his best friend and it started getting easy to spot similarities between them the longer I hung out with Mingi. So could he really be much different from Yunho? I wouldn’t know, now, I would never find out.

            I felt numb, both physically and emotionally, by the time I made it home. The house was empty and dark, rainclouds had gathered outside and I was thankful that I made it home before the downpour. It reminded me of Mingi, everything seemed to remind me of Mingi. I hated it, it made breathing harder as I peeled his clothes off myself and went into the shower, probably staying underneath the spray of the hot water for too long. My skin was all wrinkled by the time I got out and the rain came down heavily against the roof of the house, forcing me to dress up warmly and wear the hood of my hoodie as I was too tired and lazy to dry my hair. I was craving something hot to drink, but when my eyes fell on the hot chocolate in the cupboard I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and had to rush to the bathroom, heaving and heaving without throwing up anything. I felt like I was borderline dying, and I deserved it. I knew I did.

And when I was feeling my utmost worst, there was only one thing that could help. Drawing and painting. I stared at my sketchbook longingly, but decided to use a different one as that one was filled with sketches of Mingi’s eyes, and him performing on stage, him driving or him laughing with his boxy and gummy smile, his hands that were littered with rings, his peaceful face when he had fallen asleep once in the library while we were studying. But something that hasn’t happened before did happen now. No matter how much I stared at the blank paper, nothing came to me. My mind refused to conjure up any images, my hands refused to move. My grip on the pencil turned painful and I hissed as I pushed the sketchbook off my lap, throwing the pencil against the wall in frustration. I pulled my knees up to my chest as I listened to the heavy rain, staring at the window, watching as big drops rolled down quickly. The silence, the darkness, the numbness…it was beginning to be too much. I wished to see Mingi, I wished to talk to him, I wanted to fix this, but I couldn’t. I was an asshole and going back to him just hours later after being a dick and probably hurting him beyond forgiveness was an even bigger dick move. I just couldn’t do it, so, I closed my eyes and waited. For what, I didn’t know until my phone rang loudly, making me jump out of my skin.

I was stupid for feeling a flicker of hope that it was maybe him, but my heart settled when Seulgi’s smiling face greeted me once I grabbed my phone. I sighed and picked up, beyond grateful that she probably had a feeling that things weren’t going so well anymore. I could feel the small smile stretch onto my lips, the greeting on the tip of my tongue, but Seulgi beat me to it.

“What have you done.” I froze, heart falling into my stomach at the harsh tone of my best friend, eyebrows furrowing in worry. Seulgi never spoke like that to me—to anyone—she was a ray of sunshine and she never got angry, she was never disappointed, she never treated anyone roughly, “Y/N!”

I jumped at the way she yelled my name, gulping down nothing as my mouth had gone dry, “I—nothing. I did nothing—”

“You’re full of shit.” Seulgi snapped and I felt my lips tremble as her voice raised in anger, “How can you say you did nothing when Mingi has been at Wooyoung’s ever since noon and hasn’t stopped bawling his eyes out?! He’s not speaking, he’s not eating, he’s not even moving, Y/N. What did you do?”

“I—” I gulped, voice faint as I felt my eyes fill with tears, “I didn’t mean to, I—I told him it was nothing. That I—didn’t want to see him again. I just—I’m scared, Seulgi.”

“You’re the fucking worst, Y/N.” Seulgi’s tone didn’t soften, if anything, it got harsher and I heard someone in the background call out her name in a quiet warning, “How could you say that to Mingi out of all people?! Are you seriously joking right now?! Did you feel good playing around with him when he has made it so fucking clear that he was into you? That he likes you? That he wants to be with you? You aren’t even dense not to see things like this, Y/N, you straight up played with his feelings and then crushed his heart like it meant nothing.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, sniffing loudly as Seulgi scoffed. Hearing everything out loud and getting scolded by my best friend probably was the worst feeling ever. I knew I had fucked up colossally if she was taking Mingi’s side, rightfully so.

“I can’t believe you treated him like nothing,” A slight pause and then her voice dropped to a low whisper, “Like Yunho has treated you. You said the same thing to him, Y/N, aren’t you ashamed of yourself—”

“I fucking hate myself, Seulgi!” I exclaimed, frustrated and panicked and annoyed and wounded, “I didn’t mean for this to happen, but I’m scared! I can’t—what if he leaves me? What if he’s worse than Yunho’s ever been?!”

“We were teenagers back then.” Seulgi sighed and her voice softened the slightest, “And Yunho was an asshole from the very beginning, you just refused to see it. Mingi has always been genuine with you, fair, and kind. Yet you saw that and still threw him to the curb.”

“I’m sorry.” I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away, refusing to cry. I didn’t deserve to cry.

“You should be saying that to Mingi, not me.” There was light shuffling in the background and then I heard different voices talking to Seulgi, “Seonghwa is here too now, I have to go. You better fix this even though I don’t know if you deserve his forgiveness at this point.”

“Don’t say that.” I whispered, but Seulgi hung up without saying goodbye, and suddenly I didn’t know what to do anymore. The phone fell from my hand as I stared with tear filled eyes at my mother’s guitar, flashes of Mingi’s excitement upon seeing it fresh in my mind, making my throat close up. I couldn’t breathe. Mingi wasn’t talking to anyone and it was because of me, I did that. I made him feel like that and I didn’t even know how to fix this anymore. Could I fix it? Or have I fucked up so badly that he’ll never forgive me? I knew for a fact that if I were Mingi, I wouldn’t forgive myself no matter how much he would’ve begged or tried making things right. Just as my head fell onto my knees and I squeezed my eyes shut, annoyed that the unshed tears kept persisting, there was a knock on my door. I hadn’t even heard my mother get home.

She gently pushed the door open and peered inside with a curious look on her face, looking excited as I turned my head to look at her. She grinned and suddenly stepped inside, holding up a small box in excitement. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched her grab a paper out of it, giving me a cheeky smile as she cleared her throat, “‘I hope every time you drink your hot chocolate out of this mug you’ll be reminded of me, doll – S.M.’”

I suppose that was all I needed for the cup to be full, to be tipped over the edge as the tears suddenly sprung free, ripping loud sobs from my throat as I grabbed at my hair, yanking on the strands harshly. My mother gasped in fright and I heard movement behind myself, then I felt hands untangle my fingers from my hair, placing them in my lap with one hand as with her other hand she cradled my head against her chest. She smelled like the sanitizers they used at the hospitals, infused with a little musk as it was my mother’s favorite scent, and I was suddenly so grateful for having her. I turned my body to hug her tightly, crying into her chest like I was a little girl once again. My mother sighed as I felt her pat my head and rub my back up and down, humming a song I knew all too well as we used to listen to it a lot while I was growing up. The weight of her chin felt comforting against the top of my head and I gripped her work clothes perhaps a little too tight, but I didn’t care. I have missed her embrace, I missed laughing with her and crying with her, I have missed talking to her. After Yunho left me, I became closed off. I didn’t let anyone know how I felt or what I was going through, and despite my mother being a nurse, she could only help me if I let her—and I didn’t. I was repulsed by any closeness and I needed to be on my own. Days turned into months and those into years, and it took me this long to realize I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I was.

“Mom,” I was still crying, but my sobs have stopped, “I messed up so bad.”

She hummed as her fingers tried to untangle the knots in my hair, “Does it have to do anything with whom the mug is from?”

I nodded wordlessly and she hummed again, tapping my thigh for me to pull back, “Is it that tall boy with sharp eyes, cute glasses and sweet smile, fluffy dark hair?”

“He’s blonde now.” I muttered as I sniffed loudly and disgustingly as I pulled back, letting my mom wipe my tears off my face.

“You hate blonde guys, though.” She muttered with her eyebrows furrowed as I sheepishly looked up into her eyes.

“I know.”

A beat of silence passed and then she started giggling, prompting me to giggle along, my heart still aching but the relief of being in her arms made me feel like I could breathe once again, “Well, that is no good then. I hope you aren’t crying because this S.M. boy went blonde—”

“Song Mingi, his name is Song Mingi.” I whispered as I chewed on my bottom lip, averting my eyes, “I can’t believe you already forgot his name.”

“Well, I’m particularly bad with names, starlight.” My mother chuckled and I felt a smile tug at my lips. She always found peculiar nicknames to call me by, “And he never came over for dinner, that was my trick to remember his name and well—get to know him better, I suppose.”

“He’s not coming over for dinner—like ever.” My tone was grim as I grumbled, picking at my cuticle as I looked down at my lap, avoiding the look of confusion on my mother’s face.

“So, things didn’t work out…” I hummed and sighed, pulling away completely from my mother’s embrace.

“I’m a fool.” I muttered as I pulled my knees up to my chest again, staring at my socked feet. My mother placed her hand on my shoulder and massaged it softly, “I hurt him and now he hates me. I said what happened between us meant nothing, but I was lying. I think I’m in love with him, mom.”

“Has he said that he hates you?” My mother raised her eyebrows in question and I shook my head, “Then he doesn’t hate you. Yes, you hurt him with your harsh words but if you really love him—what’s holding you back, my starlight? You’re a smart woman and you know how to fix your mistakes, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you. So don’t just sulk and wail and make him hurt for no reason—”

“He’s Yunho’s best friend.” I whispered, peeking up at my mother’s face, surprised to find a smile that looked both comforting and amused.

“And does he know that?”

“What?” I asked confused, making my mother chuckle, “Of course he knows he’s Yunho’s best friend.”

“That’s not what I asked, starlight.”

“No, he doesn’t know.” I muttered and grimaced as my mother shook her head at me, “I never found the right moment to tell him, actually, things were never supposed to get this far, mom.”

“I see,” My mother hummed and leaned closer, “You know, I’m speaking based on many years of experience, but this Mingi boy doesn’t seem like the type to hold grudges for too long or judge you for your past. Sure, it must feel weird knowing your current girlfriend has dated your best friend, but that was like ages ago—and you’re still making a big deal out of it—”

“Mom.” I groaned, giving her an unimpressed look, but she only giggled.

“You know, you didn’t take after me for being so dramatic.” She pursed her lips and suddenly pushed me over, making me fall to my side with a loud gasp, “It’s one of the few reasons your father didn’t stick around for long—he was too dramatic.”

“I thought he left us.” I muttered as I sat up straight, making my mother roll her eyes at me.

“He certainly did after I told him I didn’t need a junkie in my house while I was trying to raise my child—” She rolled her eyes then stood up, extending her hand out for me, “And then he thought I tried to baby trap him—huh, what an idiot. Who wants to baby trap a broke dude who’s doing nothing with his life while I was in school learning to be a nurse and girlbossing my way through life?!”

“Don’t ever again say girlbossing, mom.” I groaned embarrassed as I let her help me up.

“What?!” She chuckled, holding my hand gently, “It’s cool, everyone at the hospital says it—well, the younger generation. Anyways, we’re going to cook yummy dinner together, and then I’ll magically make some ice cream appear from our fridge and I have some really nice wine hiding in the cupboard, waiting for us to consume it while you tell me everything about this Song Mingi guy. We haven’t had a girl’s night in so long, I missed you, Y/N.”

“I missed you too, mom, but,” I frowned as I let her pull me after herself, “you do realize I’m suffering and am on the verge of having another break down, yet you still want me to talk about Mingi?”

“It’s called therapy, honey, even if I’m not a therapist.” She shrugged as we walked down the stairs, “Besides, I’ve got some bomb advice to give you to win this boy over. I can’t believe I managed to raise a strong and independent woman that’s emotionally constipated!”

“Oh, my God.” I muttered under my breath, wondering just how many of her coworkers were too young for her to be hanging around, and why on Earth were they teaching my mother cringey slang.

But she was right. I did need her advice, desperately so, and having a girl’s night while I can talk about Mingi without feeling embarrassed to admit I am into him sounded nice—especially now that I have successfully fucked everything up.

『You run away when you just can't face it

Hide in the dark, but you know you hate it』

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[yan-lorkai]

Yandere!Alucard x Reader who works as a soldier for the hellsing organization. Interaction where reader got attacked and Alucard couldn't help but intervene...he also couldn't help but clean the blood off your face. Would like if the reader enjoyed the thrill of it too, lots of yan!Alucard interactions make the reader despise him but i find him cute</3, please and thank you!!♡

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Finally finished this aaaa, this turned out to be way longer than I intended to be. Hopefully you like it as much as I did writing it, darling. Sorry you had to wait for a while for this.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, implicit attempted sexual attack, overprotective!Alucard.

There was blood dripping from their chin, descending like a red waterfall to their neck and chest and it made your nose wrinkle every time the hot air blew the iron scent toward you. You almost gagged everytime this happened, it was all over the place, disgusting yet so familiar.

The gun in your hands was a little heavy, but it also kept you in the current moment, grounded, present. You didn't know how many shots you still had, you just wished it was enough

The only sound you could hear was your heart beating like crazy inside your chest, desperately. You knew fear, death, pain, they were part of your job: training, planning, killing ghouls. You knew it all, you were confident on your skills, but it was different this time, your entire squad had died. It had been destroyed in an ambush. You still remember how certain your captain was that it was you, Hellsing agents, who would ambush and kill those vampires.

He was so wrong! If you could go back in time, you'd tell him how they were waiting for you, how they massacred you all.

Luckily your teeth stopped shaking some time ago and the vampires seemed too distracted to notice the smell of your blood and how your heart that was beating loudly. If they noticed it would be the end of you and with your death, your entire squad would vanish. That is if before that they didn't want to play with you first, mentally and physically. You hope not, otherwise you would kill them with your hands and teeth. No one would touch you indecently.

Hidden like a mouse, you watch them and make plans. There are three vampires among your comrades bodies, feeding on them, laughing and cracking jokes about something you can't hear, and judging by their appearance they are not armed, yet, you know what they can do even unarmed, you know the innate strength they have. There were more vampires but those left a little while ago.

Should I shoot them? You asked yourself, raising your weapon just a little, having one of them in your sights, your finger on the trigger, before giving up this idea. Despite hating your impotence, you knew that even if you took some distance to shoot them, they would only need five, at most six seconds to be face to face with you. And then you would met your death. A slow, painful death as your comrades did.

What to do then? You think indecisively.

The only thing you could do was wait for Alucard to come and kill them all. You knew he was going to come, you knew because it was about you and he was so possessive of you. If wasn't for Integra's orders for him to not bother you, you don't even want to think what he was going to do with you. And while you loathed to thought to spend time with him in any form, today, right now, in fact you wouldn't mind.

Right now if he was to appear at your side, you could even hug him. That beast wouldn't let go of you and would tease you to no end, sure, but at least you would be safe and sound in his arms, safe enough to cry and to grieve. At least you could feel that there's someone there with you who cared, even if it was a twisted way of caring.

It was not the first time that you met death in a mission but certainly was the first time that a mission took all your comrades life. Promises, secret jokes and handshakes, every precious little memory was all yours now because there was nobody else to share it. The little family you found in them, destroyed. Silent tears burned in your eyes but you held them in place.

You had to be strong, you had to survive and tell their family what happened, you had to watch them get buried as they deserve, even if there wasn't much to bury. But it was so difficult to be strong.

Giant sequoia trees stretched high into the sky, blotting out the last sun rays that were stubborn enough to make it through the thick foliage. The forest was so quiet as if it was taking a long nap at that time, you couldn't even hear the owls hooting anymore. The dark and the silence only made you more aware of your heavy breathing and your heart. Badum, badum, badum. Did they could hear it too? Gods, you hope not.

The vampire were as silent as possible, talking among themselves while gesturing and making faces. You couldn't hear them but you could do the only thing that you had been doing for the last hour: you could still watch them.

Go away, go away, just go away already. You prayed for whoever wanted to hear you, begging, legs already aching from how much time you spent sitting in this position.

As the minutes crawled by, your heart pounded an erratic rhythm, mimicking the thud of drums echoing in your ears. Every fiber of your being screamed for stillness, for silence, as you clung to the shadows, praying they wouldn't detect your presence and the smell of your blood as they started walking again.

The vampires, teasing and mocking each other, moved with a grace that came with the years lived, almost as if they were floating, distancing themselves from the gorey scene in slow steps. You watched with bated breath, not even daring to breath a little loud so as not to get their attention.

They were vile and disgusting.

They bragged about everything they've done to those poor women and how they killed the men. About how they could kill it slower to savor the hot blood and the tears and screams.

Just a few more seconds, you thought. Your whole body shaking from fear or relief, you didn't even knew it.

Then, one of the vampires stopped mid-sentence, their gaze piercing through the darkness as if sensing something amiss. Panic surged through you, a cold sweat breaking out across your skin as your mind raced with dread. A twig broke somewhere. Somewhere near you.

You looked behind you; nothing there yet. But your weapon was ready and so were you, so ready to pull the trigger and shoot.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

With a predatory glint in their eyes, the vampire's lips curled into a sinister smile, their attention honing in on your direction. In an instant, they closed the distance between you, their movements swift and predatory.

And you shot him. Once, twice, till you lost count.

His fingers were still streached out to curl over your arm when he fell and you didn't waste another second there, crawling away without caring about the mud on your nails or the pungent smell of the vampire's blood dripping down. Finding the other vampire became your priority; you knew his companion wouldn't be pleased to discover they had let a human escape alive.

The dense foliage obscured your view and you felt so alone and small, you're so small while you stood beside the trees in the open field. You were isolated here with no help. Branches snagged at your clothing and twigs snapped underfoot, each sound amplifying the stillness of the night.

Then, a laughter.

Crueler and evil than you ever though to be possible.

It was a laughter devoid of humanity, a malevolent symphony that sent shivers down your spine. You froze in your tracks, heart pounding in your chest as the realization sank in — your adversary was near, reveling in your fear.

And you were a mere mouse in an open field. They could see you but you couldn't see them. You raised your rifle blindly and aimed in the direction of the sound. It was useless but you would fight anyway, forcing your ears to work even more than they could.

The laughter echoed again, closer this time, weaving through the trees like a haunting melody. It was a mockery of everything good and pure. Dread washed over you, mingled with a primal urge to flee, yet you stood your ground, steeling yourself against the terror that threatened to overwhelm.

A shadow passed through you and you shot it. Nothing.

With startling speed and force, the vampire lunged from the shadows, crashing into you with a weight that knocked the breath from your lungs. The impact sent you sprawling to the forest floor, leaves and twigs crunching under the sudden weight.

Pain shot through your body as you struggled beneath the vampire's relentless grip, their cold, inhuman strength pressing down on you. Panic surged, adrenaline flooding your senses as you grappled with the realization of your situation. Your weapon was far from you.

Above you, their laughter echoed once more, now tinged with a triumphant edge that chilled you to the bone. It was a reminder of their dominance, a cruel symphony that made fun of your struggle against their overwhelming power.

"Not so feasty now, are we?" They said in a false soft tone. "Didn't know a cute thing like you were capable of such ire. I almost want to taste you right here and now."

Every instinct screamed for escape, for survival. You felt their hands fondling the skin from your hips slowly, feeling every inch, their nails playing with the hem of your pants.

Desperate to break free, you fought against the crushing weight, clawing at their arms while tears flooded your eyes and made everything blurry. But the vampire's hold remained unyielding, their grip was like iron shackles binding you to the ground.

In a fit of anger, you headbutt them hard. "Fuck you."

Summoning every ounce of strength and willpower, you twisted and thrashed against the vampire's grasp, fueled by a primal urge to break free from their suffocating hold as they laughed. It was then that you spotted a rock laying nearby, one they didn't realized it was there yet.

With a surge of determination, you seized the rock and swung it with all your might against the vampire's temple. They recoiled with a guttural hiss of pain, momentarily loosening their grip over you.

"I'm going to fucking kill, bitch!" They screamed. For a second you felt proud for hurting them, even if just a little.

That was for every comrade you lost. For the fear that consumed you, for the pain you were feeling. You smiled at the blood trickling from their temple, you hoped this would hurt their pride before you killed them.

Taking advantage of their state, you crawled a few meters without caring about the small sharp rocks that ripped your elbows and knees off. It hurts but it wasn't enough to make you stop. It only served to make you crawl faster, faster than how they could recover, faster than the cold air that seeped into your tired bones.

A few more inches... Just a few mor-

You were pulled back by your legs, the vampire was much more harsher now in their attempts to hurt you. He was much more angrier. You kicked and struggled but nothing seemed to work now. Not that it worked before.

The vampire’s fangs gleamed in the dim light as they snarled, their grip on your ankles tightening painfully. You were being dragged across the cold, damp ground, blood escaping through your wounds, every second spent letting you be taken closer to that creature. Panic surged through your veins as you struggled desperately, but nothing seemed to work.

Suddenly, a shadow moved at the edge of your vision. You barely had time to register it before a powerful voice cut through the night, deep and commanding. You used to dislike this voice, this familiar tone.

You wanted to cry and scream for his help now.

"Enough."

The vampire froze, their grip on your legs slackening. You twisted around to see a tall figure standing at the edge of the clearing. Clad in a long, red coat, his crimson eyes glowed with an eerie intensity. It was Alucard. He was finally there to help you.

The vampire hissed, releasing you entirely as they turned to face the new threat. Alucard’s presence was overwhelming, his aura of power unmistakable. He stepped forward, his movements fluid and precise, like a predator stalking its prey.

He was confident, unafraid. The other vampire though they seemed like a newbie.

"You'll pay dearly for touching my human." Alucard's voice was a low growl, dripping with menace. "The likes of you were always so stupid and weak anyway."

The vampire lunged at him, but Alucard was faster. In a blur of motion, he sidestepped the attack and delivered a crushing blow to the vampire's chest. The creature flew backward, crashing into a tree with enough force to splinter a trunk.

Alucard advanced, his eyes never leaving the vampire. He drew his twin guns from his coat and aimed it at the creature, who was struggling to rise from the ground. They were hungry for blood and pain, they were ready.

"Pathetic," Alucard sneered. "You should have known better."

With a deafening crack, Alucard fired. The bullet struck the vampire squarely in the heart, and the creature let out a horrific scream as their body hit the ground. But this time to never stand up again.

And you still lay on the ground, breathing heavily, trying to comprehend what had just happened. One second you were certain that you were going to die, the other he was there to save you, just like you wished for. Alucard turned to you, his expression softening slightly.

"Are you hurt?" He asked, his voice gentler now.

You shook your head, still too stunned to speak. Alucard extended a hand, helping you to your feet. His grip was surprisingly warm.

"It could be worse." You faked a laugh. Still the sound was dry, devoid of life and happiness, exhausting kicking in now that the fear was dissipating.

His voice held a rare warmth, offering a fleeting glimpse of gentleness that seemed almost out of character for Alucard, the infamous No Life King. At least for those that didn't knew him like you unwillingly did, that is.

Alucard noticed you shivering and trembling even you seemed to not notice. Frozen tears streaked down your face, betraying the emotional turmoil you were in. As he spoke those words, "You're safe, darling," the nickname that usually annoyed you to no end was now carried with an unexpected tenderness.

His crimson-stained hands tenderly wiped away your tears, a gesture both comforting and unsettling as he licked the blood from your cheek, rough tongue leaving behind a trail of saliva. He scanned you with a sharp gaze searching for any sign of injury. Finding none that was too worrisome - you had a few scratches here and there but with time those would go away, plus he didn't carried alcohol to disinfect them on him -, he seemed momentarily relieved, a rare expression on his usually stoic face.

"Let's get you home. You need a bath and a hot tea," Alucard suggested, his words usually brushed off under different circumstances now resonating with practical concern. Normally, you would have resisted, instinctively wary of spending any unnecessary time in his company. But tonight was different.

Exhausted and drained, you found yourself nodding in agreement, leaning into his reassuring presence as you both made your way back to the headquarters of the Hellsing organization. Alucard was matching his step with yours, so slow, watching over you like a hawk over their fledgling.

It was a moment of unexpected vulnerability that you were showing just now, the first time you hadn't recoiled from his proximity or fought against his touch even if it disgusted you. Yet, even as you allowed yourself this brief respite, the knowledge of who he truly was lingered in the back of your mind. Alucard was not just any vampire; he was a creature of immense power, capable of ending lives with a mere snap of his fingers.

"Thank you." You whispered so low and softly. It was all you could muster right now. "For saving me, thank you."

Trusting him was a dangerous gambit, a compromise you reluctantly made for now, knowing full well the precariousness of your situation. But for now, in the quiet walk back home, with his presence strangely comforting despite everything, you allowed yourself to lean on him, if only for a moment.

A smile graced his lips. "It was my pleasure, darling."

[fallingdownhell]

Could I request reader getting mad and giving a scathing "the reason you suck" speech at someone who's discrediting her man with Diluc, Kaeya, Al-Haitham, Zhongli and Childe?

Uhhh, someone likes to be feisty.. I see how it is. Sometimes you just gotta let all that pent up anger out, preferably at someone who deserves it. I got you <3

Characters Included: Diluc; Kaeya; Alhaitham; Zhongli

Content: gender neutral reader; cursing; cussing out people; nothing else, I think

Word count: 2,6k words

Thank you for your request!<3

Diluc

Diluc sighed as he put away the last dried glass onto the shelve behind him, finally being able to breath properly.. or at least that's what he had hoped for, but a particular customer was being really roudy today.

The man in question was a travelling bard, originating from Fontaine, who recently came to Mondstadt. He begged Diluc to let him perform at Angel's Share, hoping to make some money to continue his travels.

Diluc agreed after some time, yet immediately regretted it once the man started "singing". It was so out of tone, just horrible to listen to. Worst part was that, after getting paid, the bard instantly burned all of his earned money on drinks.

He got drunk rather quickly, now being loud and rude to the other customers who were starting to clear up the place since it was close to closing time.

You had been sitting on one of the tables on the lower level, a little bit further away from the crowd, but as things started to clear up, you went and sat on the bar, waiting for Diluc to finish up so you could both go home together.

After a few more minutes, it was only you and Diluc, plus the drunk man left in the tavern. Diluc tried to get him to leave kindly at first, but the man didn't respond too well to his request.

"The fuck do you want from me, you fucking asshole? Get the fuck out my sight and get me another drink!", he hiccuped in between his sentences.

When Diluc refused to serve him any more, he got even more agitated. "The fuck's that supposed to mean? Do you talk to all your customers like that you dick? 'm surprised you still got patrons, the booze isn't even that great here!"

You've had enough of it at this point. You listened to his shit far too long today, and you kept your mouth shut. But when it comes to him insulting and downplaying your boyfriend, that was were you drew a line.

So, without a word, you got up and stepped in front of Diluc, getting between the two men. As the drunkard was staring at you, confused on what you wanted from him, you took a deep breath in.

"The only asshole I see around here, is you! You ruined everyones evening today! Your so called "singing" sucked ass, and you reek of alcohol. No wonder no one wants to interact with you with how aggressive you're getting. Now, you better hurry the fuck out before I go completely insane on you calling my boyfriend such things, you coward!"

The two man looked at you, one with surprise but also some sense of pride, while the other became scared. He shrinked more and more with every word that left your mouth and by the end of your speech, he was hurrying to get out of his seat and left the tavern as quickly as his shaky feet would let him.

You sighed and turned around, facing Diluc now. "I'm sorry. I know you could have handled that yourself, but it just pissed me off how he was talking to you."

Diluc just smiled down at you, pulling you in for a quick, passionate kiss. "Don't apologize. I quite enjoyed seeing this feisty side of you. Just don't let it become a habit."

You blushed but nodded at him, which only made him chuckle. After that, you helped him finish to clean up, then went home with him. It may have been just your imagination, but you thought that he was holding you a bit closer to him this night...

Kaeya

You have been growing more and more irritated throughout the entire day as you witnessed your boyfriend Kaeya running through the city.

That was already an odd enough thing for him to do, since he was normally locked in his office the entire day. You didn't know what was going on, but still kept an eye on him whenever you saw him running by.

He didn't seem stressed or agitated, so you didn't mind too much, so long as he wasn't going to do any more overtime.

But then later, you noticed another man approaching Kaeya every so often, especially as he got closer to the end of his work day. It wasn't a knight or other shop keeper, as Kaeya had been talking to almost only those people the entire day for whatever mission he was currently on.

The man was just a normal civilian, walking up and talking to Kaeya. At first, it seemed like a normal conversation, but every time he walked up to your boyfriend again, he got progressively louder and angrier each time.

You weren't exactly happy with the situation, but you also knew that your boyfriend could handle it on his own, which was the only reason why didn't walk up to them to give that guy a piece of your own mind.

That, however, changed when you stumbled into them again. The two of them were currently standing just outside the main city gates, the two guards who keep watch looking between each other, not knowing what to do, as that guy was now full on screaming at Kaeya.

Seeing that, you wouldn't take that. If Kaeya wasn't about to tell off that man for his blatant disrespect, then you would.

You had no idea why the guy was being that way in the first place, but you also didn't care.

As you got closer to the group, his shouts became clearer to you, now understanding what he was saying.

"... damn knight of Favonius! What are you even good for, except exploiting us citizens? And you! You're the worst of them all!"

"Now, now. How about we all calm down first, and then-!", Kaeya tried to calm the man down, but he wasn't having any of it.

"No, I'm not gonna calm down! I am rightfully upset and you can't tell me what to do, Mister Knight!", the guy said in a mocking tone, it was clear he was looking down at all of them.

This was also the moment you arrived at the scene, as well. Walking straight past the two guards and Kaeya. You could feel their confused looks on your back, but you ignored them as you came to a hold in front of that guy, your face looking furious. Before he could take a breath to start another one of his monologues, you cut in.

"You shut up right now! I don't know what your fucking problem is, but I've had enough of you following around and bothering my boyfriend, yelling and insulting him." You pointed a finger to his face as you leaned more towards him, making the man back up a little, to try and get away from you.

"Is your life so miserable and boring that you have to take your frustrations out on other people? Do you have nothing else to do? Are you just that pathetic?"

You looked at him, eyes stone cold as you expectantly waited for him to answer. The guy looked from you, to Kaeya, then back to you, before he turned and ran away from the situation.

"Hmpf. That's what I thought..", you mumbled under your breath, turning around and walking into the city again, but not before grabbing Kaeya's hand and pulling him along with you.

He let you do so, having the biggest of smirks on his face as he witnessed the scene unfold before him. He made a mental note to applaud and thank you later, when you two were in the privacy of your home again..

Alhaitham

He wasn't cut out for the role of Acting Grande Sage..

Not only did he himself say that all of the time, complaining about the increase in work he had to accomodate. But all the other sages were saying the same thing, complaining to others about how Alhaitham wasn't doing enough, how he had to commit himself to the Act more.

Your boyfriend, however, paid no mind to those people, even less their complaints about him. He has already resigned from the Role of Acting Grande Sage and was only waiting for a new candidate to be chosen so he could finally step down and return to his work as the Scribe of the Academiya.

Currently, you were walking down the hallways of the Academiya, going for the elevator that would take you to the upper levels, where Alhaitham's temporary office was situated. Since he got his promotion, you always went to fetch him after the work day was done so you two could walk home together.

As you were riding the elevator upwards, you started hearing voices, getting louder and louder the closer you got to your destination. You were confused about the meaning of this, but you were bound to find out very soon.

As you arrived, you realized that Alhaitham seemed to be currently in a very heated argument with two other, older scholars. Well, more like the two of them were aggressively talking to him, while he remained silent.

Alhaitham was the only one to notice your arrival, seeing as the other two were too absorbed into their own little world, telling off your boyfriend.

You started approaching his desk, Alhaithams eyes following you as you walked up the stairs.

One of the scholars then noticed his attention wasn't on them anymore, which only served as fuel to his already bad mood and his manors.

"What, so the Acting Grande Sage now thinks he's better than us, so he doesn' have to pay attention to the "simple" people? You better turn your attention back to us because we are far from done here. I don't care if it's gonna take all night, but you have to do your work just as much as everyone else here. Just because you helped our Archon does not make you better than anyone else!"

His outburst ticked you off as you come to a sudden hold behind those two scholars, who still haven't noticed your arrival at the scene. It was silent for a few seconds as noone said another word after this.

Originally, you planned to ignore those scholars, simply walk around them to greet your boyfriend and take him home with you. But after that, it didn't feel right not to say anything.

Alhaitham noticed your change in demeanor as well. He leaned back with a slight grin on his lips, planning to enjoy what was going to follow.

"And what do you think gives you the right to talk to other people like this?", you said, tone noticeably pissed off. The scholars turned around, surprised by your sudden presence. Yet, you didn't give them a chance to answer, you just continued on.

"He is better than you, in one aspect, at least. He can hold his temper and treat other people with respect. Unlike you, he doesn't go around insulting and blaming other people for apparently not doing their work. Which isn't even true, what do you think he's doing here all day? Now, if you have nothing smart to say, please excuse us."

Upon ending your tirade, you look over to your boyfriend pointedly. He got the hint, got up and walked over to you. You took his hand as you led him towards the elevator, leaving those two scholars behind, who looked dumbfounded at you still.

You paid them no mind, however, as you tried to focus on your breathing, trying to calm down on the ride to the lower levels. After a few moments, you felt Alhaithams arm wrap around your waist.

You knew he wasn't the biggest fan of PDA, but in this situation, it seemed he could make an exception. You smiled at him, leaning against his side a bit more, but you still failed to notice the grin that was still plastered on his face from witnessing this scene...

Zhongli

Seeing as your boyfriend is the Ex-Geo Archon of the nation of Liyue, he naturally had a very expanded knowledge accumulated over the years he's been alive.

Nowadays, after giving away his gnosis, he likes to subtly share that knowledge with other people and scholars when he's not busy at his place of work.

Often times, when meeting with other scholars to discuss some topics he asked you if you wanted to accompany him. He accepts whichever answer you give him, not expecting anything from you, but he does enjoy your presence at his side.

Today, he had been invited onto the Pearl Galley to discuss some topics on ancient Liyue history with some scholars from Sumeru, and he asked for your company again.

Since you had nothing else planned for the day, you agreed to his invitation, setting off so you wouldn't miss the event shortly after.

Usually, during those meetings, you always set beside him, respectful of the people around you and the fact that you were out in public. However, somewhere along the way, you always ended up sitting in Zhongli's lap. Wether it was because you were growing uncomfortable on your chair, or simply because Zhongli wanted you closer to him, didn't matter. It just happened..

And so it did today as well. At some point, you were getting a bit bored, having heard the storys of the current topic from your boyfriend a few times already, so you decided to climb onto his lap and doze off a bit.

Zhongli didn't bat an eye to it, having already expected something like this to happen. Other people threw some weird glances at the two of you, but didn't say anything else, deciding to just turn back to the conversation at hand.

You dozed in and out while Zhongli held you, listening to the conversation only with one ear. That was, until one man decided to spring up from his table, slamming his fist down, hard. The sudden sound startled you, opening your eyes again to locate to source.

The man was standing, his head red as a tomato as he seemed furious about something. Confused, you looked at him, then around at the table. Zhongli remained utterly calm as he continued to stare at the guy, while the other scholars remained seated but tried to calm down their companion.

"No! Fuck off! Where do you think you're taking the right to just state your theories like they are proven facts? I know you're old as fuck but that doesn't give you the right to disregard our hard work and own theories like that, you bastard!"

The guy yelled, grabbing the attention of the entire ship. People around you started to whisper, now totally engaged within the situation. You were baffled at his words, turning to look at your boyfriend who seemed to be unbothered by it. He didn't seem like he was going to say anything..

But you just couldn't let that stand..

"The only bastard I see around here, is you! What, just because someone doesn't share your opinion and challenges you, you freak out and start to insult them? That's pathetic behaviour, if you ask me. Go and cry about it to your mommy and daddy, since they obviously handle everything for you."

At your words, the guy grew even more furious, but he was also rendered speechless. Before the situation could escalate any more, his other friends dragged the guy away, leaving only you and Zhongli back at the table.

People around you looked for a while more until they started to settle back, turning to their own business again.

You were still sitting in your boyfriends lap, mumbling under your breath, when he leaned down to you and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

"Thank you, Darling. You didn't have to do that, but I appreciate you defending me all the same."

[petew21-blog]

Just a party, part 3

"Number 14 and 16"

"Guess it's you and me again." Ben took my hand and we went to the room we were assigned"

We left Ezra and Jason back there. Poor Jason, he was really fed up with Ezra. Hope he'll survive the night in that pip squeak body.

We opened the door of the room. I went on the bed. Ben right down next to me

It was awfully quiet. We wanted to have a party, we were overworked, stressed and probably needed a drink to loosen up a bit. We knew immediately that we both felt the same way. And we headed to the bar of the building.

The emplyees were serving us, asking about our needs and desires. Creepy but somehow nice. I bet the studio must have pay a massive ammount to get us to this event. But they all say that this one even is worth working for Hollywood. It fullfills you.

"You know, we didn't have much time to explore our bodies by ourselves before. With the Comic Con and so on, giving out all the autographs. I'm pretty sure that all the fans that will try to sell stuff with 'your' signature are gonna be pretty sad. I tried to perfect your signature Henry, but it still looks like someone else did it."

"Even better then. Those who really appreciate it get to keep it anyway and the ones trying to sell won't be as succesfull'

"Henry? You know I'm now the one wearing SUPERMAN's body? You don't have to act like him all the time."

"I don't honestly. I am just being polite most of the time. A decent human being."

"How about you show me how my BATMAN body looks like? You know what? Let's call each other by the name of our bodies, ok? To make the experience worth it. I wanna know what it feels like to be you"

"Ok then HENRY, now I wanna show you now what it truly feels like to FEEL that SUPERMAN body"

Henry in Ben's body lowered down to give Ben a head. He unzipped his pants and took out the beautiful hard cock he was already familiar with:"I think it looks even better from this angle" And the he took it in his mouth

It might have been the fact that I knew my cock so well. The way it responded to my tongue circling around the top, sucking his balls made me sure I was making Ben feel good. But I can't let him cum yet.

Suddenly my phone rang. I just looked up at him. He only winked at me and picked up.

"Hey, this is... HENRY Cavill. Sure, I got time. New TV series? The Witcher? I am not sure about that"

I looked at him aggresively. Playing Witcher is my dream, he can't deny them.

"Jeez. Ok, I really want it. When do we start? Ok, thanks. No, I can't talk that long, there is something I need to take care of. Bye."

My blow job was coming to an end. Then I stopped. Can't let him finish that easily.

"Please, go on!"

"Can't do that HENRY! You got an ass to breed. And I wanna have fun too"

I took his hand and dragged him to the entrance hall.

"The room is too far, let's go to one of the closests, I wanna fuck you there."

We took the first door on the right. Passionately making out on the way. Ben pushed me against one of the lockers. Wait, that wasn't a closet. We must have entered the lockers of the employees. We kept on going.

Suddenly we noticed voices from a room around the corner. We stopped and I showed Ben a finger on my lips to shush him. We went closer to get to hear them

"All right. As I have said before, we are now on the full capacity of our guests. They are very busy right now. Each and every one of you has an envelope with a name of the actor or other famous person they get to swap with today. For those of you who haven't read it, the reason of the swap is the Writers and actors strike. You will get a brand new life of a popular person, their money in exchange for absolute loyalty and diacretion about the swap. I am deeply sorry to everyone who wanted to go back to their bodies sometimes in the future, but we have to get rid of them. The actors in your bodies can't let anyone know about this. Is anyone against this?" nobody responded which led us to believe that they agreed"

"Ok. We now have 48 minutes until the door of the rooms get locked completely, sealing our guests inside making it easier for us. We will be going over some details with each and everyone of you. Starting with Miguel who will be receiving Henry Cavil's body..."

I looked in shock at Ben in my body. He was also horrified about what we just heard.

"We have to warn everyone!" Ben said to me

Suddenly a manly voice above us said very calmly:"Haha. But we won't let you, gentlemen" the man above us was Chris Hemsworth, holding a taser. Something was telling me, that Chris wasn't the one controlling his body anymore, or the one of his friends who swapped with him

To be continued...

Story request from inbox by Anonymous: That Hugh and Ryan story was Great! Maybe you can do a swap involving Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill?

And also continuation for part 2.

Inbox request: Your stories are soo good, love the Chris E. and RDJ swap. Maybe a second part involving some actors from dc, like Ezra Miller and Jason Momoa swapping to try new roles & running into Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck in the rooms?

Part 2:

Part 4:

[charmedbystars]

Hii can I request 1610 Miles x f-reader who both go to different schools and she doesn't know he's Spiderman. So on the night of her graduation, Miles didn't show leading to an argument and spilled hurtful words. But Miles confesses who he is and comforts her best he can :(

(Got dumped on grad lol🫠)

pairing: 1610! miles x reader

summary: it's your grad night and the person who said they wouldn't miss it for the world, misses it.

content: angst and fluff

a/n: i am sososooo sorry you got dumped on the day of ur grad. that's such a mean move and they def don't deserve you :((( i hope you're doing better and just know you got this <3 congrats on ur grad tho! u worked so hard to get where you are remember! ( i did not proof read this since i wrote it at two am ;()

it sucked going to different schools as your boyfriend. knowing that you guys won’t be able to see each other as often and missing even doing the most mundane things, such as just walking to class, you made it your priority to build your relationship on communication. it was all going well and you guys would try to fit into each other's schedule the best you could… up until recently. miles has been showing up late to all dates recently, or just completely canceling at the last minute. sometimes, miles makes it up to you, but it still hurts. you don’t want to make a huge deal out of it, especially since you are both graduating soon and going to college. being the optimist, you try to think of the future with miles, maybe schedules clearing up before college and maybe even choosing college classes that’ll allow time slots to see each other in between. 

although right now, you aren’t focusing on the future. it’s graduation day. it’s supposed to be perfect. celebrating a milestone, a moment where you are congratulated for everything you’ve worked for over the past years. all your family and friends are there, beaming with pride. all except one person – miles. 

you had been waiting for this day forever. planning what you were gonna wear to walk across the stage weeks before. giving out tickets to who could come and save seats to watch you. it’s all you and miles talked about recently. him being excited for yours and his graduation. he double pinky promised that he’d be there when you asked him to check a hundred percent that he’d be there. miles responded verbatim, “i wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

and you believed him. 

so when it was time for the ceremony to begin and miles wasn’t answering the texts you sent over an hour ago, you started getting anxious. 

sitting among your classmates, waiting to line up, and eventually walking across the stage, you eventually collect your diploma with a smile and a handshake. 

mingling with your friends and taking tons of pictures, you kept your composure well, but your heart wasn’t in it. the person who promised you was absent, casting a shadow over everything. you were so confused as to why he wasn’t there. 

cap and gown hung up and diploma up on display. you were home. 

dinner went well and your friends were there to distract you. although when your parents asked where miles was, the bubble that you were in popped, not knowing how to respond and just shrugging your shoulders. your parents understood and didn’t bring it up. 

so you’re in your pajamas and getting ready to climb into bed, when you hear tapping on your window. walking over you see miles in a big jacket and eyes downcast. you wanted to just leave him outside but you wanted to hear what he had to say, so you slid open the window to let him in. 

“i’m so so sorry, my love,” he started, but you quickly cut him off. 

“sorry? that’s all you have to say?” you snapped, voice trembling. “you promised miles! you promised you’d be there and wouldn’t miss it for the world! do you know how embarrassing it was to keep looking around for you? even my parents asked for you!”

he looks at you with a pained expression. “i know, and i can’t tell you how sorry i am… but something important came up. you need to understand.”

“i need to understand something more important than my graduation? huh?” you shot back. “what could possibly be so important that you couldn’t even send a text?”

a pause or two went by. his silence was deafening. tears of frustration and sadness well up in your eyes. “you always do this miles. you just disappear without a trace and i’m left here wondering what’s going on. do you even care about me? about us? or whatever is left of this one sided relationship?”

the words were harsh as they left your mouth. any other day, you would’ve regretted your words but you were so hurt today that you didn’t care. 

miles was left stuttering and choking a response up. “i… i do care,”

“i care more than you know, but things are so hard right now and you know i hate keeping things from you.”

confusion was written all over your face. “miles, what are you talking about?”

“this is going to change everything, but know that none of this was to hurt you.” he said as he slowly took the big jacket he had off, revealing his suit beneath. 

seeing the spider emblem in the middle made your eyes widen in shock. 

“i’m spider-man,” he softly said. “that’s why i wasn’t there tonight or the other times i cancelled… just know that i wanted to be there for you so bad, but i have a responsibility to the city too.” 

hearing those words made the world tilt as you tried to process his words. spiderman. miles is spiderman. your miles is spiderman. and slowly all the pieces start to fit together. the disappearances, the excuses, the exhaustion in his eyes.

“miles… you’re spiderman?” you repeated back, still trying to wrap your head around it. “why didn’t you tell me?”

“i wanted to,” he said, stepping closer. “but i was so scared. scared of putting you in danger, scared of what you’d think of me. but i’m so sorry, my love. i never wanted to hurt you.”

tears fell out of your eyes, anger subsiding with understanding but still hurt. “i just wish you told me sooner. i thought you didn’t care.” 

more tears started falling and he took the final step to pull you into a tight embrace. you both clinged onto each other, feeling the weight of everything at once. “i care about you more than anything,” he whispered. “and i promise, from now on, no more secrets. i want to figure this out together.”

as you both held each other, a sense of relief washed over you two. it wouldn’t be easy overcoming everything and he still broke his promise, but at least you knew the truth now. you could now face everything together.

he took a step, leading you both to the bed and wrapping yourselves under the covers. miles threw an arm around you and you leaned into him, resting your head on his chest. his heartbeat was steady, a soothing rhythm assuring you that he was there. 

“you know,” you tilted your head up, “you still have to make it up to me. i don’t just graduate everyday.” 

he chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest. “i know. i’ll try my hardest for you.” your eyes caught each other before he ran a thumb against your cheek. “i’m so sorry, but know that i am so proud of you.” he said, voice filled with sincerity. 

you shifted closer to his face, giving him the softest kiss. his fingers gently traced patterns on your back, lulling you into a state of peace. the weight of the night’s emotions melted away, bringing tiredness to the couple. 

“thank you for telling me, miles.” you murmured, eyes growing heavy. 

“no, thank you for understanding.” he replied, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

as sleep began to claim you, you felt a sense of contentment. despite the events and surprises, you were happy that you had miles by your side. with him, you could face anything. 

as he held you close, you drifted off, feeling safe and loved.

(PLEASE LMK IF THERE'S ANY MISTAKES)

[mouseymilkovich]

Speechless | Carmy x Reader | Final Chapter

previous chapter | masterlist | playlist | pinterest board

Chapter Summary: It's time for Sydney to look for a new job, and your fight with Carmy is still plaguing your mind. Then, miraculously, you both end up right back where you started— The Beef, face to face with the one and only, the chef your best friend long revered, Carmen fucking Berzatto. How will things resolve? Will they even resolve? | Carmy Berzatto x fem/afab reader (using they/them pronouns)

Content Tags: Nothing really! Mostly just angst. Enjoy the ending <3

Important Info: (texting) blue = Carmy

Chapter Seven: All I Ask

Word Count: 1.8k

It felt weird, helping Sydney find a new job, not going to The Beef, not hearing from Carmy. At least you had Sydney back and you could talk to Marcus... but, still, the lack of Carmy's presence left a hole in your life you didn't notice before he occupied that space.

"If you don't find anything soon, I'll help you with rent this month—"

"You don't need to do that." Sydney muttered, cutting you off.

"I know I don't need to, Syd. But I want to." You sighed, looking over at her as you kept down the sidewalk.

"You don't have to keep making things up to me. I still forgive you." She laughed softly, nudging you with her elbow.

"Oh my god! That's not why—" You groaned, then laughed a little. "Is it so wrong to want to keep my best friend on her feet?"

"I will be fine, okay?" Sydney reassured.

You responded by sticking your tongue out at her like a damn child— but, that was something you'd often done when the other wouldn't accept an offer of help.

"Real mature." She teased before sticking her tongue back at you.

You two stopped in a cafe for lunch, getting inside and away from the chill of the Chicago air. You both sat at a small table, across from each other.

"How are you doing, by the way?" She asked you softly.

You sighed softly, but forced a little smile. "Fine. I am totally fine."

"What did we say about secrets?" Syd reminded, giving you a slightly stern look.

You sighed again, and held your face in your hands for a moment while you gathered your thoughts. "Okay, I'm trying to be fine... but it's hard. I kinda fuckin' fell for the guy and it feels a bit like he stepped on my heart... it's stupid."

Sydney sighed softly, she reached over and grabbed your hand. "Your feelings are not stupid, you're allowed to just... feel. You know that."

You nodded, giving your best friend a small smile. "You're right. It's just... hard."

"I hope you know he's fuckin' stupid for saying that to you. If I knew before I left, I would've smacked the shit out of him." She reassured you, hoping to get a smile out of you.

You did smile a little wider. "Because you're the best."

That's when Sydney's phone buzzed. Carmy... that motherfucker.

"What'd he say?" You asked nervously. You hadn't felt your own phone buzz— he didn't text you.

no acid.

Your face scrunched up after Sydney showed you the text. What?

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" You asked.

"I'm assuming something to do with the short ribs... whatever." Sydney groaned, setting her phone down as someone came to take your order.

She left Carmy on read for a while during your lunch. Though, it plagued your mind why he'd text her and not you— then your question was immediately answered, when Carmy sent her another text that her final check was waiting for her at The Beef.

You'd told the waitstaff beforehand that you'd be taking care of the check, and while Sydney protested to you that you should be splitting it, your own phone finally buzzed. Honestly, at this rate you'd thought maybe it was Marcus, hell, even Richie, or anybody else. But, no.

i'm sorry.

And that was it.

"That's it. We're going so you can get your last check and so I can give him a fucking piece of my mind." You decided, after the bill for lunch was taken care of, getting up with a huff.

"Are you sure?" Sydney asked with a little frown, following your lead and getting up herself.

"Oh, yeah. Just I'm sorry and that's it?! Who the hell does he think he is?!" You huffed, marching towards the door.

"Fucking hell..." Sydney sighed as she followed you out to the sidewalk. "What are you even gonna say to him?"

"I don't know yet! But I'll figure it out when I see his stupid fucking face!" You practically shouted.

Sydney sighed again, but followed you as you made your way down to The Beef. Of course, you legitimately had no idea what you'd actually say to Carmy, every word buzzed around your brain like fucking flies. And somehow, when you actually got to The Beef, there was nothing you could think of.

"Maybe I shouldn't go in." You muttered to Sydney as the pair of you stood at the door.

"C'mon, you're not gonna make me face him alone, are you?" She asked, nudging you gently.

You sighed deeply, but looked over at her. "No... no, I'm not gonna make you face him alone."

Both of you stared at the door for a moment. Was it an exaggeration to say that this felt like climbing Mount Everest? Probably. But, that's what it felt like right now.

Finally, you bit the bullet and opened the door, letting Sydney go in first. You had half a mind to bail and run the other fucking way— but, you knew if you did that, you'd never hear the end of it. So, you took a deep breath and followed her inside.

The sight that greeted the both of you was... unexpected, to say the least. Every single staff member with can openers, opening those damn tomato cans that he'd complained about. You kept hearing about him wondering why Mikey had gotten the smaller ones when the larger ones worked out to be cheaper.

You and Syd both met Carmy's gaze. You weren't sure if you could really read it entirely, but you did see something apologetic there— and, of course, his stupid pretty blue eyes were one of your weaknesses.

Marcus stood up, looking over at you two and held up two extra can openers.

You and Syd exchanged a glance, then set your stuff aside and silently went to help.

"Why am I even doing this? Carmy probably does not give a single shit that I'm here." You thought to yourself.

As Carmy spoke to Sydney, you stayed over by Marcus. You decided that you were doing this for Sydney and Marcus, you didn't owe Carmy a damn thing for his stupid, bullshit apology over text. You barely registered what they were talking about, you just focused on the globs of tomato you dug through to pull out wads of cash. At this point, you didn't care enough to ask why there were wads of cash wrapped in plastic and encased in tomatoes.

Well, at least opening and crushing the cans was somewhat therapeutic. You barely caught when Carmy finally spoke to you.

"Can we talk?" He muttered.

You looked up at him and shrugged a little. "I guess."

"Alone, I mean..." He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Oh great.

You cleaned yourself up, and went with Carmy to the office. You had half a mind to just start screaming at him, but before you could even get the chance to get a word out, he started to speak.

"I'm really sorry... about what I said. I was... in a bad mood and taking it out on everyone, including you." He confessed quietly, unable to look you in the eye. "I do like you—"

"I sense a 'but' coming." You commented.

Carmy nodded gently, finally meeting your eyes. "I do like you, but... I don't think I can be in a relationship, at least... not right now. I'm not... good at that shit."

You felt your heart break all over again. "I get it..." You muttered softly. "Um, thanks for being honest with me, though."

"That doesn't mean I don't wanna be friends, though." He told you, the tone of his voice held sincerity. "If... you forgive me, that is. Cus I wouldn't blame you if you don't."

"Did Syd forgive you?" You asked.

"Yeah, um... and we're talking about finally... opening our own place." He muttered. "And she said you could probably help."

You looked a little surprised— but, also somewhat relieved. Syd was gonna fulfill a dream of hers... wow.

"Okay... I forgive you." You said softly, looking at Carmy sincerely. "I just... all I ask, is... if anything gets too weird, being around each other... we can be honest and tell each other to fuck off, okay?"

Carmy nodded slightly in agreement, then held his hand out to you, giving you a slight smile. "Friends?"

You took a deep breath, then your hand met his for a shake. "Friends."

That fucking stung, but there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it now. If he didn't want a relationship, then he just didn't want one, simple as that— that didn't make it hurt any less, though.

You let out a soft sigh, giving Carmy one last parting kiss on the cheek... that was the one thing that seemed to render him speechless.

You both left the office, Sydney looked at you in anticipation to know about whatever had happened. But, the sadness in your eyes told her everything she needed to know.

After sharing a much needed hug with Sydney, you decided it was time to toughen up. Starting a restaurant was one of her dreams, and you knew she wanted you to be involved, you wanted to be involved. So, if that meant being just friends with Carmy, then so be it.

While the staff worked away on some spaghetti, you actually worked on a cake for everybody with Marcus, one of the things from the recipe book you'd made him.

It slowly settled over you that you would be okay, regardless of your feelings for Carmy. You could get over that... couldn't you?

"I can't believe The Beef is actually gonna close..." You muttered softly to Marcus as your cake baked. "Syd and I have... so many memories of this place from when we were younger. It's gonna be... just... weird."

"Yeah, it will be... but, I think it'll be a good thing too. Obviously the spirit of The Beef's always gonna live on here, but change can be good, yknow?" Marcus responded with a soft smile at you.

You smiled a little too. "Yeah... I guess you're right."

The cake finished baking, you and Marcus frosted and decorated it. Around the same time it was ready, everybody had the table set for family spaghetti. You were surrounded by so many people—

Sydney, your best friend. The Beef staff, including Richie and Marcus, the two men you'd grown oddly close to. Fak, who... was surprisingly allowed to join in for family. Sugar, who you liked, despite having barely gotten to know her. And Carmy... your friend.

As you all gathered to eat, you noticed Carmy hanging some cardboard in the window.

"The Beef is closed..."

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

tags ; @maggiesarchives @carmenberzattosgf @buendiabebeta @turtle-cant-communicate

wanna be tagged in any future speechless trilogy updates? leave 🫢 + an @ to tag in my askbox !

[savannahsdeath]

hiii I love your work! could you pretty please do some toxic ellie? :)

TOXIC!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

summary: a miserable attempt to leave your toxic girlfriend

warnings: preferably 18+, just lots of toxic shit, manipulating, reader is crying

writers note: probably the only toxic post you'll see on my profile. honestly, i dont even know why i wrote this and im posting it just for the anon. i dont support any toxic behavior, cuz even a simple fanfic can bring some harm. dont read it if youre sensitive to such topics and if you decide to read it, dont romanticize it and dont blame me for any bad feelings you felt while reading - youre responsible for your own media consumption, im not forcing anyone to read. as i said, i just post it for the anon and also because i dont want it to just sit in my drafts (i dont have the guts to delete it). ugh its kinda long but i just want to make sure everyones safe, please take care🩷

you were sitting in your bed with your head buried between your knees for half an hour now, ignoring the buzzing of your phone. you caught her with another girl. you should cry and feel miserable, and all you could think of was; 'finally! finally a reason to leave her!!'. all you could feel was happiness.

but leaving her wasn't easy. you tried a few times before.

'maybe it'll be different this time', you hoped. but the way you kept receiving notifications from her said otherwise. 'maybe if i ignore her for a few more minutes, she'll let me go.'

you tried to put your phone down, but your hands won't let you. your thumbs kept reaching for the screen in a desperate, involuntary action. you were powerless to stop it. you knew you shouldn't respond. you know you should walk away, but you couldn't. every time she messaged you, your heart beated faster and your breathing quickened. you knew this isn't the best thing for you, but a part of you was still clinging to hope.

'enough, stop it.' you ordered to yourself.

you picked up your phone, deciding to call your friend. she'll make you remember all the cruel things ellie did and leaving her will be easier.

your hands were shaking and you were truly scared of what's going to happen. you hestitated for too long before clicking on your friend's profile and.. lost your chance.

ellie was calling you. she wasn't giving up and she was probably pissed off by now.

you sighed and whispered; 'sorry' to your future self, before answering the call.

"why aren't you answering to my texts, huh?" she asked in an accusatory tone, as if you were the one who did something wrong.

your breath hitched as you heard her voice. there's no going back now. "i'm sorry, ellie, it's over." you mumbled and shook your head in disbelief. 'i'm sorry'?? for what? where was your confidence?

she took it from you, just like she's going to take anything she wants.

"i'll pick you up in a few minutes." she announced and you felt tears starting to well up in your eyes.

great. so she's on her way here.

you took a deep breath to stop your voice from quivering. "i'm not going anywhere- not with you."

ellie laughed, thinking it's all a joke. "you're funny, honey. you know you come crawling back to me everytime." she replies calmly. "so get ready. i'm coming to pick you up, and then we can talk about this. like grown-ups."

ellie was good at controlling you. she'll say she's coming to pick you up, and you'll be waiting on your porch when she arrives. she had a firm grip on you and she knew it.

not this time.

"like grown-ups?" you nervously laughed. "you cheated on me. again."

ellie didn't get angry. she wasn't even surprised.

"don't overreact, babe." she replied in an irritated tone. "it's not like it was anything serious. it's just some random girl. i'm still with you. you should know that."

you were stunned by her cavalier attitude. she really thought it's no big deal.

"leave me alone." if there was even a little bit of toughness in your voice before, it all left. now, you were just simply begging her to stop. "please."

ellie's confidence and her nonchalant attitude was getting to you. you felt angry, but at the same time, you were starting to doubt yourself.

you wanted to hang up, but you couldn't. you just waited for her reaction, praying this'll be the end. but you knew everything depended on what ellie wants, and for her, only her own good mattered.

ellie chuckled. "oh, sweetheart. you think you can just break up with me over the phone? we're not even having a fight here. come on, be reasonable. let's just talk this through. i'll be there soon."

you proudly raised your chin, even though she couldn't see that. the tears ruined your confident facade anyway. "i locked the door."

she stayed silent for a moment, not expecting that from you. but she always had a plan b, and you realised that as soon as you heard her laugh. "i'll check that myself."

you heard her car arrive outside your house, and an instant wave of regret washed over you.

she knocked on the front door. "i'm here, love. open up." her voice was gentle, with an apologetic tone.

you knew it was all a ploy to get you to open the door. you knew this was just another manipulative tactic she was using, but it was starting to work.

"come on, be a smart girl." she continued in a sweet voice. "or we'll do this the hard way."

you cursed yourself for how weak you felt, even though it wasn't your fault.

"ellie, please..." you begged, with as much authority as you could muster, but your pleads still sounded weak.

"what's that, babe? are you crying?" she responded in a mocking tone.

you felt powerless to resist her. your stomach twisted in knots, but your fingers reached for the knob. your other hand quickly wiped away your tears, though there were some visible smudges left. you stared at the doorknob in your hand, fighting every instinct in your body to open it and let her in. but you knew she'll get her way, sooner or later. you just wanted to get this over with.

with a shaking hand, you opened the door. you saw that ellie was holding a set of keys - there was definitely one to your house too. she could just unlock the door, but she wanted to check if you'll listen to her. you didn't even want to think about what would happen if you didn't give up.

she walked inside like she owned the place, and she didn't even look at you. she knew she's got you wrapped around her finger.

"good girl." she said, with the same mocking tone.

ellie's eyes darted around the room, and she walked over to take a closer look at a framed photo of the two of you on your shelf. she smirked, letting out a sarcastic 'hmph, so cute'.

you stood there, defeated, as she walked past you and paced around your home. she made herself comfortable, as if she belongs there. you tried to keep a brave face, but she could see right through it.

she sat down and turned to you. "tell me, why we ended up here?" she asked, her voice was cold and unforgiving, but it also sounded curious. "why are you trying to leave me? aren't you happy?"

you felt your lips tremble, as you parted them to speak. "you know damn well what you did."

she stood up and walked up to you, standing right in your face and leaning a little to match your eye level. "fucked another girl? huh? is that it?" she stroked your cheek with the back of her fingers, mocking your pout.

you flinched away from her touch, but she grabbed your face with both hands and pulled you towards her.

"i just had some fun." she said calmly. "besides, you can't blame me for wanting something different. just trying to make up for what you lack." she caressed your face, tracing your lips. it was almost gentle, as if she wasn't even trying to hurt you. but her words cut deep. "now, stop acting like a baby." she let go of your face. "i'm trying to have a mature conversation with you."

the obedient, scared side of you wiped your tears away and straightened up without thinking, but everytime you closed your eyes - everytime you blinked - another wave of salty liquid streamed down your cheeks.

you sniffled and tried to keep it together, but your body was shaking and feeling dizzy. still, you stood your ground.

"please, ellie... i can't do this anymore." you begged in a shaky voice.

"sh, shhh..." ellie wrapped her hands around you, rubbing your hair in a soothing motion. "don't say dumb things. i already know you can't live without me. you know that too." she grabbed you by the shoulders and forced you to look at her for a second. "don't you?"

her embrace felt somehow comforting, not matching the poisoning effect of her words. you clinged onto her, hoping to get as much from this rare moment as possible.

but you knew, deep down, that this is just another manipulation tactic. you shouldn't fall for her games.

"there, there." she whispered to you. she held you even tighter, as if she was trying to absorb every ounce of energy you had left.

she pulled back and looked you straight in the eyes. "do you see what happens when you try to leave me, babe?"

"i am leaving you." you said with as much conviction as you could muster. "i'm serious this time."

but ellie just smiled, treating your words like a joke. "that's funny, honey. this is just another one of your little tantrums. you're just upset because you haven't gotten enough attention these days. but you don't want to lose me." she ran her hands along your cheeks and caressed your hair. "you'll come back to me. you'll come crawling back, just like always. because you can't live without me."

you instantly buried your face in her chest, as she started stroking your back.

she sighed. "are you finished?"

you felt ashamed. you failed, once again. you let her win.

you lifted your head up so you could see her expression. her smile was even more mocking and cruel now that you've given in to her.

"that's more like it, babe." she said with that same condescending tone. she pulled you in for another hug, as if nothing happened. "now, let's forget all about today, okay?" she whispered in your ear. "my pretty girl."