#sorry updates are shorter and less frequent

[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 36

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: none :)

Words: 3949

A/N: Hi everyone! So sorry for such a long, unannounced break. I needed to take some time off. The updates will probably be less frequent, but I'll try my best to post.

Also, if there are any mistakes regarding the story line not lining up, please let me know! I might have forgotten about something and not realised! :( (Cupcake reveal is coming soon dw!)

How are you? I hope you well and care.

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys

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Previous:

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Jungkook nor Yoongi could help but gush and coo over you. Not only were their protective and alpha headspaces triggered by your still-dropped form, but just seeing you tightly cuddle up to the packalpha made their hearts flutter.

The youngest alpha held you close, gently fretting over you. Sure, you have cried yourself to sleep, but he couldn't help himself.

You were their courted omega, hopefully one day their own truly, and it really upsets them whenever you would cry or drop in their presence.

Frankly, it broke their hearts, shattered even, knowing that they were meant to be there to calm you down and make sure you were okay.

They didn't have as much experience with omegas as they might have thought they did before they got to meet you and start the courting—gosh, they were so wrong.

Of course, Jungkook's friend Juwon had an omega in his pack, but the youngest alpha never really got around to truly talk to him that often.

When the pack would hold meet and greets and see their fans up close, they got to meet all of the different second genders at once, so they have seen many omegas to be truthful, it was quite usual.

Only when a different K-pop group, not as well known as BTS but having a pretty large fan base, promoted and held their own meet and greet, and a terrible accident happened, did the whole industry shaken.

While crowds were known to unsettle and frighten omegas, as well as the loud noises, many fans just wanted to see the idols and would take the risk.

And it got especially risky when the price of the entrance was too high for the whole pack to get, ending with sometimes just the omega by themselves.

When the meet and greet of the K-pop group happened, it was quite a few years ago. Back then, one of the band members has suffered an injury, making them unable to participate.

Though, as the group felt bad for the short notice, they didn't want to leave any of their fans in dissapointment, and so the injured member came over to quickly wave at everyone and chat for a short while before they were ushered away again—or so was the plan.

As the leader of the group came over to see their sweet fans, the overpacked room was filled with loud shouts of excitement and joy, though quickly turning into cries of distress and worry.

The mass of fans moved over quickly, and so many of the naturally smaller or shorter ones started to get pushed around and would stumble, eventually ending in many of them tripping and falling over.

The giant group of fans of all different scents, which just confused everyone in general, alphas, betas, and omegas all included, was too much for anyone to be able to truly notice the source of fans distress.

The chaos and panic only continued as the idols tried to calm everyone down. The leader, though injured, stayed behind to try and help, but the room was far too full, and there was soon just a mess.

The K-pop group disbanded soon after, ending their contracts after the terrible news of the two fans who were suffocated and stepped over until they had to be taken to a hospital.

Their identities haven't been revealed to protect them, though after a long while, the constant questions and worries regarding their well-being ended with a final message.

While one was on a good path to recovery, the other, a young omega boy, has ended up in a coma and seems not to be about to wake up any time soon. The pack that the omega was with took it the worst, for sure.

And so, after the terrible incident, which ended with many unsettled cries and shouts, a death, and many things to worry about, most of the meet and greets of all groups have been postponed.

Eventually, all that has purchased or won a ticket in some way has been refunded, until about a year or so forward since the accident, when the first meet and greet in the entire industry was held again.

This time, though, the rules applied were so much more strict and harsh, as only about half of the people who usually got to go were allowed, much less tickets sold.

And the biggest difference of all was that the event was only for betas and alphas.

Truthfully, no alpha in the right mind would dare let their omega go to such an event after the terrible news, too worried it could happen to their own too.

Nowadays, events where the idols interact the most with their fans are still usually held for alphas and betas only. A separate event is then held for omegas, but it is required to go with the packalpha of their pack.

The rules have become stricter in order to keep everyone safe.

Jungkook knew very well that he would have to always look out for you and take care of everything for you, but the alpha realised that was, honestly, something he found so fulfilling and rewarding.

And so, the young alpha held you to his chest, his own scent gland carefully close to your nose as he rested your face against the crook of his neck, cradling you close.

Yoongi wasn't much better, constantly combing his fingers through your hair gently, with little soothing pecks left on your forehead and your head.

The older alpha held your palm in his, his thumb softly rubbing over your knuckles in hopes of calming you and keeping you reminded of his presence, even if you weren't too aware at the moment.

Soon, Jungkook sighed out. After you truly smelled like all three of them, he stood up with you in his arms.

„Jungkook-” 

„Let's go home, Hyung; I want to take babybun home.” The youngest didn't look over to the packalpha, too caught up with watching over you.

Namjoon sighed. Truly, there wasn't anything more he wished for more than to have you safe and sound in their packhouse right now.

The packalpha wished they would have the den to have you nest and calm down in, but they didn't, and so they would have to deal with it.

Sharing quick goodbyes with Yuki and Moonsik, which both understood well and promised to not be bothered or upset, the three alphas went on to leave.

They made quick work, shuffling through the lightly busy mall, both Namjoon and Yoongi watchful and protective over you in Jungkook's arms.

Whoever seemed to just glance over for a second too long received a harsh glare back or a sudden release of very agitated pheromones, scaring them off.

And so, the pack went up the small stairs to the underground parking lot, with Yoongi's car in view soon enough when the oldest alpha led them over.

He wanted to keep you in his arms for a while longer, but seeing how the youngest quickly shuffled to the backseat the moment he unlocked the Hyundai, he would just have to wait.

Since Namjoon didn't drive, Yoongi would, and so he sighed again, turning on the engine as he waited for everyone to buckle in.

„Kook, you can't sit with your pup on your lap. That's not safe for either of you."

The packalpha said, his voice gentle and calm. Joon understood the youngest very well and knew he was in a headspace that was too hard for him to leave for now.

Jungkook needed to keep you close; he needed to feel you against his chest, your heartbeat, your scent—to know you were safe and sound.

And so he let a light growl leave him the moment the packalpha turned around to try and pry off his strong hold onto you. The youngest didn't realise it was his hyung, and even that wouldn't matter that much now.

„Yah! Jungkook, stop this.” A much rougher Yoongi called out, just wanting to leave. He wanted you to be in their packhouse now, safe, with only them around, not all of these strangers in the mall to oogle at.

„Hyung-” 

„No, we really need to go now. 'Mega will be next to you the whole drive.” And so Namjoon gently took you from the youngest arms, sliding you over so you would sit next to the alpha, your thighs touching.

As he buckled you in, he tugged on your seatbelt carefully, knowing you would be safe this way.

Namjoon closed the doors again, and as he took a seat at the front once more, he could see your head now resting against the alpha's shoulder, the youngest watchful eyes set on your form.

And so, the small group left the mall and started driving the short way to their packhouse.

The soft, omega headspace playlist was turned on, the alphas hoping you might calm down further even when you were asleep, your cheeks rosy and a bit puffy from crying your eyes out earlier.

"...what happened, Namjoon?” Yoongi asked calmly, his eyes set on the road. The snow was still around and pretty to look at. The alpha wished you would look at yourself and smile at how nice it was...

The packalpha wasn't sure himself, and so he only shook his head lightly, lost in thought. Surely, you would have to talk to them about everything later; this was important.

„...Have you called the others yet?” He asked his elder, and the said alpha was shaking his head likewise. „No, we rushed here...but we should probably call ahead."

And so Namjoon made quick work with the touchscreen, calling the eldest alpha of their pack, whom he hoped stayed home.

„Hello?” 

„Hyung, we are on our way home now.”

The packalpha said, unsure as to how to really describe what went down without the eldest freaking out fully.

„Okay-”

„Y/N dropped, could you maybe set some stuff up?"

And so Namjoon ripped off the bandage, hoping Seokjin would understand—he knew he would.

„I- What? Is she okay? What happened?” With each question, the urgency in his voice doubled, and in the background of the call, there could be some shuffling heard.

„I don't know Hyung. She is with us now; we will be home soon.” Namjoon said calmly, rethinking every single step he and you took earlier.

You seemed so joyful too, telling him about this and that as you skipped along with him, happy and seemingly carefree.

The packalpha took a short look behind himself, seeing Jungkook carefully caress your hair and leave soft pecks everywhere now and then.

If it weren't for your still distressed scent, you might look peaceful and relaxed, but the alphas knew better.

And so Jin said his goodbyes, telling them to give you a peck for him and to have you stay strong.

They weren't much further from home; the Hyundai was just entering the expensive neighborhood, so it didn't take much longer before they arrived.

The snow crumbled and cracked under the tyres as Yoongi carefully parked, very watchful since he was driving the most precious cargo of his.

As soon as the engine turned off, the alphas went to shuffle out—not before the front doors of their packhouse were thrown open, though, with the rest of the alphas rushing over.

„Babycheeks?” The second youngest called out his eyes wide in worry as he came over. Jungkook was just about to climb out with you tightly held to his chest.

„Oh my gosh, princess-!” The other alpha gasped, seeing your still puffy cheeks and the pout you sported even during your sleep.

The youngest reluctantly let the oldest take you into his arms instead, Seokjins eyes roaming over your figure to see any possible damage, but to find none.

„Aigoo, babycub, come to alpha...” He whispered softly, pulling you even closer if that was possible.

With you safely tucked away in his arms, the alpha was quick to start the short walk back inside, with the rest of the men following trying to get at least a bit of their scent onto you.

Yea, you had them wrapped around your little finger, but they didn't put up a fight.

The moment Jimin and Jin started to untie your shoelaces, you stirred, your vision slightly blurry. Your head pounded, and a soft sniffle left you.

Immediately, both of the alphas and all the others which were currently discarding their own coats and jackets looked over, worry and care swimming in everyone's eyes.

Jimin was the quickest out of his daze, putting the pretty snow boot they got for you away, going from crouching before your sitting position to standing up a bit taller.

The alpha took you into his arms, picking you up to hold to his chest, his chin tucking your head away into the crook of his neck.

„Sh-sh-shhh princess, alpha is here now...” He whispered softly, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as Jin helped put away the other boot.

The packmembers stayed mostly quiet, watchful and worried, sad eyes set on you. They knew more than well, that something was wrong, but they could feel that this was not the right time to ask about it.

„How about a nap little pup?” The packalpha said gently, coming over to brush some of your hair behind your ear, his motions gentle and calm.

It wasn't truly a question, more of an advice he, and all of the rest, hoped you would follow. The tiny nod you gave in answer, before your cheek rested against Jimin's collarbone was more than enough.

And so, the young alpha trotted over to the living room, where in a quick haste Jin and Hobi brought over blankets and pillows of all kind, the two scent plushies and even a few of each hoodies.

To be truthful, the large couch was covered in all of their scents and so when Jimin gently placed you down in middle of the blankets, he was slightly surprised that you wouldn't let go.

His scent was quite literally all around you, he has scented you well too, just a short while earlier, so what was it?

„...stay, oppa...” You whispered, your voice laced with sadness and timidness, having the alpha immediately do whatever you wished for with no such worry.

And so, he crawled in behind you, his back against the backrest with you tightly pulled to his warm chest.

The rest of the packmembers eventually all walked over, each of the alphas making sure to give you as many sweet pecks as they saw fit, their eyes sweet and careful.

„Rest for a little while sunny-bub, alpha will be in his studio okay?” Hoseok whispered sweetly, his nose rubbing up against yours in a cute bunny-like kiss.

Truly, he was worried about you, deeply. Whatever set you off today was surely a bigger issue they would have to go over eventually, but for now, you just needed to have a nice rest of the day.

The alpha didn't feel comfortable having you out of sight for after your sudden drop, but he felt a bit better with Jimin staying with you. He would keep you safe.

And so, he left a soft peck on your forehead, hoping that your still bleary eyes would soon shut and you would enter a calmer dreamland.

Jungkook planned to go work out this afternoon, together with Namjoon, Yoongi and Jin, but the plans seemed to have changed, and for a great reason.

The youngest couldn't help but worry for you so much, like possibly never before, constantly smothering and cooing over your tightly cuddled up form.

Somehow, he couldn't leave you right now, the moment he wanted to get up from the crouched up form, he felt a pang right against his heart and could swear he heard just the tiniest whine come from your direction - and he was right back down next to you to scent you.

„Rest with them for a while Kook, you'll feel better.” Namjoon said knowingly, patting the young alpha's shoulder in understanding.

The packalpha wasn't much better, as he took a seat to the side of you, making sure you were safely tucked away underneath the blankets with both of those scent lambs in your arms.

And so, Jungkook layed down next to you, making sure your ear would rest right against his heartbeat in hopes of it to settle you down better.

Whenever anyone would come closer, the youngest alpha was wide awake, his arms tightly wrapped around you as you napped with Jimin too asleep behind you.

It was Jin this time, the eldest coming over with two coffee mugs in hand, handing one to the packalpha who thanked him quietly.

The oldest alpha took a seat next to Namjoon who was currently typing away on his notebook, though while Jungkook believed it was work related, turned out to be a scent-keychain website.

„Oh, that one is really cute, how about it?” Seokjin mused softly, careful so that his voice wouldn't wake you up. You needed to rest, for at least a little while.

The alpha pointed to the screen where a little teddy bear keychain with a cute, pink tie-up snow hat showed. Surely you would like one like this one?

Namjoon hummed softly, clicking onto the listing to see a specific description.

Introducing our luxurious Scent Plushie Keychain, the perfect accessory for omegas in search of a comforting connection to their pack members. Crafted from an incredibly soft and comfortable luxury material, this keychain is designed to provide a sensory experience unlike any other.

Measuring at approximately 10 cm in size, our Scent Plushie Keychain is small enough to be conveniently carried with you wherever you go. Whether it's attached to your keys, backpack, or stored in your pocket, this keychain ensures that you'll always have a piece of your pack member's scent close at hand.

Created specifically for omegas, the Scent Plushie Keychain allows you to hold onto not just one, but up to five different scents. This means you can carry the comforting aromas of multiple pack members, strengthening the bond between you and your pack.

Each of these scents is carefully preserved, allowing you to experience a rush of familiar emotions whenever you need it most. Whether you're feeling anxious, lonely, or simply need a moment of comfort, a quick sniff of your Scent Plushie Keychain can transport you back to a place of safety and security.

With its exquisite craftsmanship and attention to detail, this Scent Plushie Keychain is designed to be a cherished item, passed down through generations. It not only serves as a physical reminder of your pack members but also as an emblem of your unique place within your pack.

So why wait? Indulge yourself in the ultimate luxury for omegas with our Scent Plushie Keychain. Carry the scents of your pack members with you at all times, and let their comforting aroma surround you, even when they're physically far away. Experience the power of scent as you immerse yourself in the warmth and love of your pack, no matter where life takes you.

„That sounds perfect.” Jin whispered satisfied, it sounded really nice. It looked cute and surely you would like it. All that was left for them to choose their own ones to carry and you would be much safer in the future.

„Yea but look...” The packalpha said softly, opening a cleverly designed to conceal link, which unrolled another further information.

Product Warning:

Before purchasing our Plushie Keychain, we want to ensure that you have all the necessary information to make an informed decision. While our Plushie Keychain is designed with the intention of providing comfort and connection to omegas, it's important to exercise caution and consider the specific needs of your omega partner or self.

This Plushie Keychain has the capacity to hold up to five scents, allowing you to incorporate the comforting aromas of your pack members. However, it is crucial to first consult with your omega to determine if this is the right approach for them. Each omega has unique needs and preferences when it comes to emotional support, and the use of scents may not be suitable or effective for everyone.

We recommend engaging in open and honest communication with your omega partner to understand their specific desires and boundaries. Discussing their comfort level with scent-based items is essential before incorporating our Plushie Keychain into your dynamic.

While our Plushie Keychain can be a wonderful tool for fostering a sense of connection and comfort, it is crucial to respect the boundaries and preferences of your omega. If your omega expresses any discomfort or hesitation regarding the use of scents or this product specifically, we encourage you to explore alternative methods of support that align with their needs.

Remember, the well-being and emotional health of your omega should always be prioritized. Understanding and respecting their preferences is key to maintaining a healthy and thriving bond within the omegaverse.

Please exercise caution, engage in open dialogue, and ensure that the use of our Plushie Keychain aligns with the needs and desires of your omega partner or self. Together, you can navigate the omegaverse and nurture a strong and fulfilling connection.

„See? It only holds 5 scents, we need more...but everything else checks the list.” He said, slight dissapointment lacing his voice. Jin frowned, watching Namjoon exit the tab again, going back to the photo listings.

The eldest alpha stayed by for a while longer, the two together narrowing down the search using the filter to show only the 7+ scents options.

Much less options showed then, but still, the alphas eventually agreed on a MIFFY keychain, the packalpha adding it to the cart.

Soon after, Namjoon chose his own keychain he would keep around in case you would need to help get settled. Jin chose one himself, but they waited for the others to make their choice.

Just as the eldest went to ask Yoongi and Hoseok with Taehyung to take a look, the second oldest and youngest preparing spring rolls, you stirred.

Your eyes fluttered open, a soft yawn leaving you. You went to rub your eye with a loosely closed fist, only to have the packalpha lean over immediately.

„Sh-sh-shh, go back to sleep little pup, alpha is right here. I'm not going anywhere sweetheart...”

He said gently, placing your hand back beside the scent-toy, noticing Jungkook's half asleep eyes set on your form.

You whined softly, having the youngest lean over the right very moment, his nose and chin rubbing vigorously over your cheeks and face.

„It's okay babybun, oppa is here...” He whispered, his sweet eyes set on your form.

„B-But oppa...” You whispered, your voice a bit shallow and raspy from all the sobs and crying you did earlier.

At the sound of your voice, all the attention was onto you, Namjoon stopped the carefully tucking of the many blankets around you, his eyes gentle on your form.

„How about alpha reads for you for a bit then, hm? Come here my littlest pup, alpha will keep you safe...” He said softly, caressing your hair.

You whined out but still, nodded in agreement, letting the packalpha gently lift up your head to set onto his lap as he got comfortable.

With a pillow underneath you he so carefully set up for you, Namjoon sighed in content, relief clouding his mind. You were talking and you told them what you needed, even when not fully and completely.

You would be okay.

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Next:

[shibaraki]

STATUS UPDATES:

➯ FICSFORGAZA [!]

I am currently dealing with a family emergency and my ma has been rushed into hospital so I’ll be offline until things calms down, and progress on wips will slow considerably. I’m really sorry guys

➯ GOING INTO 2024

2023 has been rough for me in all manner of ways but I will say it has been very fruitful with regards to my writing. I managed surpass my goal of 100k words, reaching an unfathomable 150k at present, and I’ve even managed to hit a big milestone when it comes to my following! I’m extremely grateful to all my readers, both those that have stuck with me and those who are new, and I wish I had adequate words to really express that. but going into 2024 I will likely be writing less frequently than I did this year. this is due to my own health, and a multitude of other problems that I can no longer keep on the back burner.

plenty of you have seen mentions of hospital visits and procedures on my blog, and while I’m not very comfortable oversharing about medical stuff I do want to be transparent about the fact that I will be posting fics less because of it. I’ve been in and out of semi hiatus for the better part of 4 months but I was always awful at sticking to it. next year I want to actually give myself grace, and take care of my body.

please do not fear!!! this resolution actually aligns perfectly with my writing goals for 2024. I want to focus on lengthening my word counts. I’d love to post fewer fics, but to have said fics be 25 to 50k respectively, rather than to post a lot of 1 to 15k fics. mostly I want to work on my own impatience when it comes to writing, and berate myself less for what I think I should be doing writing-wise. I will still be around on here, and I always want to talk with you guys (and read whenever the mood strikes!!), the biggest difference is I’ll have longer projects, and you’ll have to wait for them (though if I’m honest I will likely still post a shorter fic here and there lol).

I appreciate the patience a lot of you have already shown me this year, what with my random breaks and gaps between posting. you have all been so so kind and generous with your praise and I wouldn’t be here, writing and sharing, without that support. I love you all and wish you well going into the new year!!!!!

[sunsafewriting]

Are you okay? Haven’t seen ya around lately. You’re so talented and we miss your writing, but first and foremost you’re health is most important. I hope you’re doing well and thriving!

Hey 💛💛 thank you for this lovely ask :D

Sorry I've been totally off the map! I miss writing for WN and getting to chat to everyone a lot! So I am definitely hoping to get back into updating my fics soon.

It definitely wasn't a planned hiatus --- things just got really busy and then I struggled to find the groove again. I ended up spending a lot of time trying to write various original projects (ugh only suffering) and just dealing with life and work and etc etc. I got a bit overwhelmed and stressed and just ended up too malaised to write fic.

I am going to try to start updating again, but updates may be shorter and less frequent than they used to be before, but I figure it's the slow and steady that counts! Just gotta do a little bit at a time and eventually I'll finish everything :D

Thank you very much for thinking of me 💛

[soongtypehuman]

Update on Things

It’s been almost 4 months since the craniotomy that removed the tumor that was crushing my brain. The hope was that the surgery would cure the mild to moderate cognitive issues I was dealing with, or at least stop them from progressing. I’m sorry to say that wasn’t the case, and many of the problems have gotten dramatically worse.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, least of all because it’s boring. My short-term memory, ability to read and write, as well as speak fluidly, have all been affected negatively. I’ve just had another EEG to see if the seizures are continuing, and will have another MRI this week to assess the amount of damage to my brain from the tumor that had been affecting it for years and any damage caused by the surgery, and to check for a stroke. It’s a lot of fuckery I don’t have all the answers for yet. Once I have answers, then I can begin a more exacting treatment for the problem(s).

Unfortunately, as I said above, the problems are affecting my ability to write.

Planning and outlining have always been the backbone of my writing process, but even more so now. Everything is slower and requires a lot more concerted effort and lots of revision.

In short, I’m not able to create as quickly as I once could, although I’m hoping that will change eventually with enough rehab and figuring out new ways to work around my setbacks.

Ideally, I’d like to continue posting every Sunday, just as I have for over a year, but I might have to accept the idea that, as far as things go at the moment, I might not be able to use my writing time for both a weekly ficlet while also finding the time, energy, and focus to work on longer fics. For the time being at least, I might have to switch to posting every other week so I can allot more time and attention to the longer fics.

I just don’t know yet and can’t set anything in stone either way.

But I did want to say something about all of this because I was worried people might see me posting less frequently or posting work that isn’t as long as it used to be and think that I’ve gotten lazy or lost interest. That couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, my love of this series is one of the few things in my life that brings me joy and that I can count on (my most beloved @monotremer being the main source of that), and one of my biggest motivators in rehab is trying to return to being focused and prolific where my writing is concerned. But I also have to accept that some things may never return to the way they were.

In any event, I hope to keep posting work regularly, but hope everyone understands if I’m not always able to do that.

Updates on what’s coming:

I was working on a longer fic to post to the Data/Lore collection today, but didn’t finish it, so there’s a shorter ficlet in the non-explicit Positronic Rivalry collection instead. The D/L fic should be ready to post next Sunday (fingers crossed). And while all that’s happening, I’m still working on the multi-chapter in the main series that got much bigger than I originally intended. It’s slow going, but it’s going, and my hope is that it’ll be ready to post in July.

[collectionoftulips]

The biggest part of my writing shorter chapters is to help me get over my writer's block where I convince myself my writing isn't where it needs to be, but there is also a few other reasons:

For example in the Strictly AU chapter now most recently, I feel like there needed to be a kind of 'breather' character chapter before they jump back into competition

I did some maths and if I make Kate and Anthony go all the way to the finale in the Strictly AU, based on the fic's current word count, we'd be talking a 300k fic and I horrified myself

My life has changed a bit in the last year - some of it for good, some of it for bad - and I have a bit less time to sit and write at the pace I used to. I feel a lot pressure when it's been like 2-3 weeks and people talk about the fic 'returning' when really it didn't go anywhere (and usually I have been working on said chapter during the weeks I haven't posted). Shorter chapters mean that I can post a bit more frequently to the pace that some people seem to expect, so hopefully that's helpful. I also have got into my head for some reason that around 8-10k is the ideal length of a chapter, even though no one told me this and writing 10k for one chapter is so much work and takes such a long time...

I just wanted to share these reasons and thoughts in case you were wondering why the chapters are shorter. If it's a source of disappointment, I'm sorry about that but as things currently are, it is either this or an update every one or two months.

[voyageofthenautilus]

Is there any chance you'll repeat the Voyage of the Nautilus substack again in the future? I didn't find out about it until recently and I'm really disappointed I missed most of it.

Sorry to hear you missed most of it! If it’s any consolation, the next two months will have much shorter and less frequent updates, which could give you plenty of time to backread. (And if you’ve read the book before, feel free to join us in the amp-up to the end- you’re probably familiar with how exciting those last few chapters are!)

To answer your question- if we ever do this again, it would have to be with the original (inferior) translation, as this one and (I believe) all the others are still under copyright. I was not aware of this when I started the project and I really don’t want to toe the line any more than I already have 😅 However, we may or may not do a Mysterious Island substack to continue the story of Nemo!

[nightnight-comic]

Nightnight

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[blackkatmagic]

update schedule announcement

It's going to be a new schedule for a new year! Or rather...actually more or less a lack of schedule in the new year. I've been weighing my options for the last month or so, and I've decided that I'm going to take a half-step back from weekly updates in 2022.

There will still be a Saturday update fic - rwlf, first, and then trade your heart once rwlf finishes - and the Patreon weekly fic, but I'm going to put everything else on an "as I feel like it" update schedule and try to focus more on one-shots and shorter things for a while. It feels like people have been enjoying what I put out less, or at least engaging with it less, and I've gotten into a bit of a rut that just feels bad. Hopefully this break will help me reassess and take some more time to write the weird, wonky little fics that are what I greatly enjoy about fanfic.

I'm sorry for any disappointment that might come from this, and would like to reiterate that I will still be working on everything. There just won't be updates as frequently, because for my own mental health I need to do something new before I burn myself out.

[wooyunhwa]

kingdom of welcome addiction | seven

view pinned post for masterlist / links to the rest of the parts!  note: this is part 7! I recommend reading all the parts before this one (on my masterlist!)

Genre: smut (with plot), angst, some fluff in this part

Pairing: demon!san x fem!reader / angel!yunho x fem!reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: oral (female receiving), edging, very light dumbification if you squint

Synopsis: Torn between two opposing forces competing for your attention, who will you choose?

A/N: Thank you for reading and comments are super appreciated as always! Sorry this took so long to get out and it’s a bit shorter than usual parts, but I’ve been having trouble writing recently! (lots of stuff in my personal life) Anyway I hope I can update more frequently from now on! I hope you enjoy anyway~

You made your way out of the lecture hall through the same door Yunho had left out of. A part of you had expected him to be there, waiting. He was nowhere in sight. 

But San was. 

“I take it your angel boy didn’t take kindly to my marks?” 

You narrowed your eyes. “What we did back there, it was a mistake,” you said in a hushed voice as you approached him, poised against the wall in the bustling hallway. 

“Oh, darling. We both know that’s not how you feel,” he quipped with a wink. How could he still be so charming to you even when you were angry at him?

He reached out a hand to touch you, but you shied away from it. “Not here,” you hissed. “Let’s talk at my apartment today.”

He rolled his deep coffee-colored eyes. “Does that mean I have to walk? This human body isn’t good for much, I’m learning.”

“Take the bus, actually,” you responded dryly. 

“How do you humans do this every day? This whole walking everywhere thing. It’s exhausting,” he grumbled through his teeth as he gathered his things up to follow you out of the building.

It felt particularly strange, being in public with him. Something about it felt wrong, illegal even, like you were transporting some sort of wanted criminal through the streets. He looked like one, too, even now. Even in his human form, he looked like pure trouble. He was, after all.

Despite your extensive history with him, small talk felt awkward. You stared awkwardly forward during your bus trip, resisting the urge to push your hips against his and feel his warmth. You hadn’t realized how much you missed his touch until he was all over you in the chemical closet, and you couldn’t help but want more now. 

The tension only grew thicker as you let him into your apartment. You realized this was the first time he’d ever gone through the front door—usually he just popped up like magic. Demon magic, you supposed. 

“We should talk—”

Sans lips curled into a cheeky grin, cutting you off before you could finish. “I thought that was what we were doing here, darling.” He took a step close to you, cutting off any space left between you. His eyes glazed with unmistakable lust. “Unless you’d rather do something else.”

“I—I would…” You broke your gaze away, heat pooling in your cheeks. “But… we need to talk about this. You can’t keep messing around outside my classroom.”

“And why’s that, lamb? Jealous?”

You gritted your teeth. It was useless playing his game. Honesty was the only way you would get anywhere. “Yes, San. Yes, I was jealous. I am jealous. Your lips on another girl makes me feel sick.” 

You drew your gaze back up to his to take in the smug look on his face, but you were met with a serious gaze. He bit his lip slowly before clicking his tongue against the back of his teeth. “To be honest, it makes me a bit nauseous too. None of them have the same...  delicious taste. Kissing lowly humans is more of a chore than anything.”

“Are you admitting you only did that to make me jealous, then?”

“I have my reasons. Nothing you need to worry about, darling.” He stepped forward, pinning you against the wall of the hallway like he’d done earlier in the chemical closet. 

Despite the looming guilt for what you’d done to Yunho, his sad eyes and disappointed gaze haunting in the back of your mind, you craved more of San. It crept up on you slowly, washing over you until it was unmistakable. You needed more. 

You didn’t give him a chance for him to play around with you any more. You knew what you wanted now, and you were going to take it. Your lips came crashing into his, nibbling lightly at the soft skin of his lower lip as you kissed. He growled low in his throat, reciprocating against you with hungry bites, tugging and nipping at your lips with his distinctly fang-less teeth. His lip ring felt comfortingly familiar to taste, cold against you as you slipped your tongue in his mouth. 

His hands found their way under your shirt, pushing up under them to feel every inch of your skin. You squirmed under his touch, cold from walking in the outside air, moaning against his mouth as his fingers cupped around your breasts and yanked your bra up, letting your breasts loose beneath it. His index finger circled your sensitive nipples, and you whimpered into him, pulling away to bury your head in his neck. 

He had you worked up so easily again—it was barely an hour ago that he’d fucked you until your legs shook in the chemical closet, and yet you craved it all again somehow. 

San’s deep, honeyed voice purred in your ear. “I just realized something, lamb. I was so busy fucking you senseless earlier I forgot to make you feel good, too.” 

Your knees buckled under you at his works, sending pleasured waves and vibrations down your spine, contracting the muscles in your thighs until you felt hopelessly weak. His hands found their way down to the skirt he’d fucked you in earlier, this time tugging it down until it pooled at your ankles.

He slowly sank down, peppering kisses along your sensitive skin as he travelled lower down your body, dropping your shirt back into place as his knees found their home against the cold hardwood floor. 

He kissed the soft skin of your thighs gently, carefully and teasingly avoiding your neediest areas. "San, please," you begged, squirming from his merciless teasing. You craved his tongue against you—if you didn’t know any better, your body would have had you thinking you needed it as badly as you needed oxygen now. 

"Beg for it, baby," he growled against your thighs, swiping his tongue slowly and deliberately just shy of your folds. 

"San please—please I need it..."

"Need what?" 

"Your tongue—I need—please," you pleaded. You knew you were playing his game, but you couldn’t help yourself. You were desperate. 

"You're so cute when you're begging. Pathetic little thing, can't even get words out," he cooed mockingly. You laced your fingers in his hair, hopelessly grinding your hips to his face, hopefully to find his tongue. He wouldn’t budge. “Uh-uh, lamb. I’ll get there. Patience.”

You groaned impatiently, wiggling your body again to find some—any—relief from the teasing, but he refused. He gently ran his finger tips over your legs, tickling the soft skin of your thighs with his torturously light touch. He licked a long stripe up the sweat-slick skin of your inner thigh, grasping your thighs harshly to keep you still as you squirmed under him. 

“San—San I can’t take it,” you whined.

He looked up at you with hungry, playful eyes. You could tell he was basking in every second of you conceding to his control. “Okay, darling. But only because you’re too delicious to resist.”

You could swear you ascended to heaven for a moment when his tongue met between your legs. You melted against the wall, gripping your fingers tighter in his hair. He licked skillfully, deliberately, as if he had been planning and perfecting every move beforehand. Maybe he was that good, or maybe you were just that horny. 

He brought his fingers up, pushing them inside slowly as he worked carefully at your clit. It was like he slowed down every time you were close to your edge, as you started to grip tighter and grind against his face harder, he pulled back, slowing the thrusts of his fingers inside and swiping his tongue painfully slowly. It was easy to tell when you were almost there—a string of fucks fell from your lips like it was the only word you knew. You were beginning to think it actually was. 

“Has my lamb had enough?” he asked smugly, smirking against your thighs as he kissed at the soft inner flesh, giving you a break from the torturous edging.

“Yes, yesyesyes, please San—”

“Be good and cum for me now, okay?”

You nodded vigorously, but he was buried back between your legs again before he even had a chance to glance at your affirmation. It barely took anything for your orgasm to wash over you, his tongue dancing over your clit and two fingers buried deep inside you, thrusting steadily as you shook. It rocked through your whole body, waves of pleasure riding from your toes all the way up through every limb, a rush overwhelming your brain. Complete bliss. It was more intense than you could ever remember experiencing—San’s merciless teasing had paid off, as much as you hated to admit it. 

He smirked as he stood up, sliding his fingers out of your slick entrance, looking particularly satisfied at his accomplishment.

He opened his mouth to speak—probably to praise himself—but his efforts were interrupted by a series of loud knocks at the door right next to you. You jolted back at the sudden noise, knocking the back of your head against the wall. 

"Ah—ow—fuck." You cursed, panicking slightly as you stood there, embarrassingly exposed but suddenly wide alert after your moment of bliss. 

San swiped the back of his hand over his mouth, moving backwards out of view of the door. You scrambled to pull up your skirt and panties, smoothing out your hair, which was tousled messily from writhing against the drywall. 

You didn't have to move very far to get to the door—you and San had barely made it out of the entryway. You fumbled with the lock and the doorknob. The door swung open, and you were greeted with Yunho, his uncharacteristically serious gaze meeting yours coldly.

“Yunho—” 

“Smells like a demon in here,” Yunho sneered, glancing through the doorway at San peeking his head into view. “Of course he's here."

“Yunho, I’m so sorry, I—”

“We should talk.” He was frighteningly serious now, and you felt uncomfortable in his dark presence, his gaze making you feel particularly small. His aura still shone brightly, but there was nothing sunshiney about the way he spoke. “Without the demon.”

“I can’t exactly pop out of the room now, Yunyun,” San jeered, tapping his feet against the ground. “I’m cursed with these earthbound legs.”

“Then walk out,” Yunho said dryly, pushing his way into the apartment. You stumbled out of the way, not daring to be in his path right now. 

“Yunho—” you started, your voice suddenly small and meek. “What- what if I just… put him in the bedroom? We can talk on the couch.”

“Put me in the bedroom?” San chuckled behind you. “What am I, your unruly dog?”

Yunho narrowed his eyes in San’s direction. “That’s exactly what you are.” Then, back to you. “That’s fine. We can talk out here. I don’t need much of your time.”

You swallowed hard, before motioning to San to wait for you in the bedroom. He rolled his eyes, sulking as he shuffled his feet to the room and closed the door behind him. You hesitantly pulled your gaze back to Yunho, who only seemed to be growing taller and more intimidating by the second. You hardly recognized him like this, hardly any angel left in him. 

You made your way to the couch, sinking down into it nervously. It was hard to even look at him—the guilt was already eating away at you, only compounded by the fact that you just let San tongue fuck you in the hallway minutes before.

He sat down next to you, maintaining a significant distance. 

“Yunho, I—” you started, but he wouldn’t let you finish. 

“It was a mistake. Letting my emotions get clouded like that, it was a mistake. It was unprofessional of me to walk away from you like that. My job is, was, and always will be to protect you. It can’t be any more,” he said with a sigh, dropping his eyes to the upholstery. His mouth was slightly agape, as if it was itching to say more, so you didn’t dare speak. “We can’t do this anymore. You and I. Kissing. Cuddling. Or... anything else. Our relationship needs to be strictly business from now on.”

You gulped, taking in his words. They stung harshly in your chest, like a knife digging in. But you knew he wouldn’t budge. It was no use fighting it. He was deadly serious. “I—I understand. It won’t happen again.” The room fell silent for a moment. “But… but what about school? Can we still—”

“I’ll play that role at school. Acting. That’s all it can be. I don’t want any rumors circulating if we were to ‘break up’.” He lifted his gaze back to meet yours, softer now. He glowed once more, and it felt like a weight was lifted off your chest as he softened his demeanor. “Y/N, I care about you. But I can’t care any more than I’m assigned to care. It’s unprofessional, and I won’t let it happen again.”

You nodded silently, tears welling in your eyes, but you shoved them down. You weren’t dating him, not in real life at least, but it still felt like he was breaking up with you. Your body ached as you pushed the tears as far down as you could, willing them not to spill over with everything you had. You refused to break down in front of him.  

“That was all I needed to say. I’ll let you get back to… whatever you were doing with San,” he signed, pushing himself off the couch with his large palms. “I guess he’s harmless in this form, anyway. A bit pathetic, really. Still, call if you need me. I’m your guardian after all.” He gave an empathetic smile, more closely resembling the Yunho you knew. 

You nodded in agreement, unable to choke out words for fear of your voice cracking and letting go of the tears that threatened to spill over at any moment.

He left just as quickly as you came, and the minute you clicked the lock behind him, you couldn't stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks. 

You didn't want San to see you like this—crying pathetically over Yunho. You knew he wouldn't understand, he hated the guy, and his jealousy over him was palpable every time they were in the same room. You choked the tears in as you opened the door to the bedroom. San was splayed out on the bed, leaning charmingly against the pillows. 

"How's the angel boy?" he sneered.

His words alone were enough to immediately bring the sting to your swollen eyes again, unable to keep the tears back. You let out a single choked sob before collecting yourself. A lump collected in your throat as you spoke. "I-I don't want to talk about it."

You watched with slightly blurred vision as San's expression seemed to soften. "Come here, lamb."

You stumbled over to him, collapsing next to him. He opened his arms up invitingly. Was he asking you to… cuddle? That was certainly new. 

"I—I didn't want to cry in front of you. Especially over… Yunho. I thought you'd just be an asshole about it."

"You're only pretty when you're crying over me, darling. Not when you're actually sad." He wiggled his fingers, arms still outstretched, offering his warm embrace. "I'm soulless, not heartless. Remember?"

You couldn’t believe he was actually offering you his comfort like this, but you weren’t going to reject him. After everything, you just craved human touch. Well… mostly human.

You let out a few gasped sobs as you learned in and nuzzled against his chest, his warm arms pulling around you to keep you still as your body shook from crying. He stroked your back comfortingly, staying surprisingly quiet as he did so, with none of his usual quips or snarky offhanded comments.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but at a certain point you couldn't even be sure why you were crying anymore. All you knew was his warmth, his arms, his scent, and the way he ran his hands from your hair all the way down your back so softly. 

Your vision drifted away into black, the last thing you remember was his fingers laced in your hair and the gentle rise and fall of his chest under you. 

You woke up to a soft filtering of moonlight through the windows of your bedroom. Your phone alerted you to the fact that it was 3am. You weren't exactly sure when you went to bed, only that you fell asleep in San’s arms after quite a while.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a light snore and San twitching gently under you in his sleep. 

His sleep. 

You'd never seen him sleep before. His demon form didn't do this.

He was shockingly adorable in this state, mouth slightly agape, a small amount drool pooling at the corners of his lips. His hand twitched by his side, like a sleeping cat dreaming about chasing mice. 

He looked vulnerable in a way you never imagined he could be. Despite your heavy eyelids threatening to lull you back to sleep, you wanted to watch him like this for as long as you could. You climbed carefully out of the bed, draping an extra blanket you had over him carefully. He was still fully clothed, but you couldn't risk waking him like this. He looked so peaceful. 

You imagined it must have felt amazing for him to experience sleep in his human form—you were actually still exhausted yourself, immediately collapsing back into bed after stripping your street clothes from the day and changing into a more comfortable set of panties and a tee. 

You slept for the rest of the night next to him. You woke up at one point with his heavy arm draped over you, unconsciously cuddling you in your sleep. 

It was everything you wanted, everything you needed, and yet something about it was painful—the part of you that remembered it couldn’t always be like this. He wasn’t going to stay in his human form forever, he’d soon go back to being a sleepless demon, bound by his work. He couldn’t stay and sleep with you every night. He couldn’t hold you while you cried, not without a contract. He wasn’t yours. 

And yet you slept peacefully, temporarily comforted by his warmth, his presence, his adorable sleepiness. 

But you knew, deep down you knew—everything comes to an end.

[bonny-kookoo]

I'm sorry if updates become a bit shorter and less frequent. My health isn't good at the moment, and I'm in some physical pain these days that makes me sleep a lot. Thanks for understanding, and please stay safe everyone ♡

[bbugyu]

finding something to do + kim mingyu

you had spent your better years bored with mingyu, and he thought holding your hand felt like holding his fleeting youth.

wc.4088 | almost smut, mostly fluff, friends to lovers/uni au, fem reader, that one trope where there is mutual pining but both of them think the other is gay, maybe like half an ounce of angst if you squint Really Hard, lots o swears

i usually make my fics hella neutral as far as gender and size and orientation goes but hahahaha this ones for the average sized bi girls! also just realized that i stopped using capitalization in my fics and yk what? im fine with it. this fic is based off of the song of the same name by hellogoodbye.

*

“stop honking, other people live here.”

mingyu grinned at you through the half-open passenger window, leaning over to pop open the door. the handle had never recovered from a giant cup of soda crashing into the side of his ride in the middle of a particularly rowdy summer shenanigan, the sticky substance soaking into the mechanics before he had gotten the chance to hose it down in a friend's driveway at 2am. now, you had to wait for him to open it from the inside on all future shenanigans, and you could only roll the window down half way, lest you have to laugh at mingyu aggressively pulling on the window between his palms as you pulled on the motorized switch to coerce it back into the closed position. you slid into the co-pilot seat and looked over to your best friend.

"if you answered your texts i wouldn't have to honk."

you rolled your eyes, tugging on the seatbelt. "go, gyu."

he laughed and shifted into drive, turning up his stereo as he pulled away from your apartment building, hand returning to the stick to shift up a gear. "thanks for coming."

"what else was i gonna do?" you slipped the slides off your socked feet and pulled your legs to sit cross-legged. "i finished rewatching avatar."

"study, maybe?"

you looked at him. he was right, finals were right around the corner, but you had an uncharacteristically light load this quarter (due to you not realizing you needed approval for one course before registration and it filling before you could sign up) and you weren't too worried about the three tests you would have to take in a couple weeks. "could say the same to you."

mingyu let out another laugh, suddenly singing along to the song as he ran a hand through his hair. you smiled at his profile, then pulled out your phone to update your instagram story. as you moved the camera over to mingyu from the streetlight-lit road ahead of you, he laughed midway through a lyric and practically yelled "mwoya" at you, gripping the wheel with both hands and jumping in his seat. 

you laughed hysterically, frantically saving the video before pointing the screen at him. he turned down the music to watch it, eyes flickering between your phone and the road. he laughed at the way it cut off on both of you screaming. "what was that?"

you giggled, swiping through filters. "you being dumb."

"you love me."

"you're right."

mingyu smiled at that, adjusting the stereo volume again, bobbing his head to the rhythm as he drove to the one convenience store in your town that sold his favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream, a mission he had called upon you for at 11:30pm. when it switched over to a song you knew, mingyu noticed your subconscious humming to the tune and a few lyrics falling out of your lips, the wind from the open window whipping through your hair.

by the time you reached a small parking lot across town, you had yawned probably half a dozen times.

"tired?" mingyu pouted as he rolled up the windows and unbuckled his seatbelt. "sorry for dragging you out."

you shook your head, following suit and pulling yourself out of the car. "i slept too late, i think. i'll be fine."

you followed mingyu across the quiet street to the convenience store the two of you frequented perhaps too often, finding yourself there after late night study sessions or mid-barhop for ramen, snacks, and most importantly, the mint choco ice cream bar of mingyu's affections.

after perusing the options as if you hadn't been there earlier in the week, you picked out an ice cream bar as well as a couple bags of chips. you walked up behind mingyu at the register as he was pulling out his wallet.

"i'll pay if you come over and play smash," he said, nodding at your hands full of snacks.

you eyed him. "what's the catch?"

"you can't be mad when i play meta knight."

you groaned, but put your things on the counter for the cashier that was likely the same age as you both to scan. "fine. i'll still beat you."

mingyu grinned at you, and you snagged your ice cream bar off the counter as he paid, the other snacks getting put in a plastic bag. you grabbed the bag and held it open as mingyu retrieved his own ice cream, both of you peeling them open as you exited the convenience store.

"mm," you let out, mouth full of ice cream as you leaned against the metal bar meant to lock up bikes on the sidewalk. "it's nice out tonight."

mingyu agreed, biting into his treat. "it's refreshing but not too cold."

you nodded, watching cars pass on the street. "i can't believe it's almost summer already."

"me neither," he said, squatting in front of you as he ate. "we're gonna be seniors next year."

you groaned. "have you decided if you're doing summer quarter?"

he shook his head. "i decided against it. i only really have to take one extra course next year so it didn't feel worth it."

you nodded, looking down at him. he was looking to his left, absentmindedly watching someone walk their dog across the street.

after the ice cream was finished and you threw away your wrappers, mingyu cursed slightly at the fact that he still managed to get his finger sticky despite doing his best to avoid meltage. after he popped open your door, he dug in the glovebox for some wet naps, playfully knocking your knees aside as you tried to sit. you laughed, waiting for him to be done so you could put the bag of snacks on the floor in front of you.

when you met mingyu sophomore year, your hair was shorter and he was blonde. he had sat next to you in your shared ecology lab and promptly fell asleep before the class had even started, and you had to nudge him awake when the professor was handing out the syllabus. 

"gah, fuck, i'm up," he waved a massive hand in your face, blinking away his sleep before focusing on you with furrowed brows. "you're not seokmin."

seokmin was his roommate, you learned, and also met a few weeks later when you went over to their dorm to work on assignments together. they've since upgraded to a compact but efficient three bedroom apartment and acquired another roommate. you stared out the window into the night sky as mingyu drove to said apartment, blinking heavily at the lure of a nap. you pulled your knees up to your chest and tried to listen to the song playing from the stereo.

only moments later, mingyu glanced over and noticed that your eyes had fluttered shut, your head lolling against the window. he wondered, staring at you in awe, how much longer he could pretend he wasn't in love with you.

when you and mingyu had first gotten to know each other, you admittedly had a bit of a crush on him, until you found out he had a boyfriend. even after they split almost four months later, and you had been there to bring him chicken and beer while he fumbled with the drawstrings of his sweatpants and rubbed his swollen eyes with the back of his hand, you decidedly resigned any feelings for him, knowing it was a lost cause for you to pine after a guy that didn't even like girls. hell, you barely even liked boys - you had gone on dates with six different girls, yet not a single guy since you came to university, and mingyu had sat on your bed while you tried to get ready, giving a concise "try again" when you showed him an oversized sweatshirt.

"why not this?" you asked, groaning.

"you have good proportions, bitch. show 'em off."

rolling your eyes, you rooted around in your closet for something less shapeless. your style had always skewed a little athletic, a little hip-hop. you bought mostly mens fit shirts, making the task slightly more difficult. you found a nice pair of high waisted jeans you hadn't worn in a while and paired it with a drop shoulder tee and a turtleneck, finally getting the approval of your best friend.

all of the facts laid in front of him led mingyu to believe you were completely and utterly gay, and even if you weren't, your taste in women suggested he was the exact opposite of your type. you liked petite girls. girls with long hair and that wore skirts and lots of rings. the kind of girls that you had to lean down to kiss. 

so he continued to try out the pool of eligible bachelors in your area that were within a respectable age range. he had even tried to date some girls, but every time they tried to suggest the dates go further, he would think of the way his best friend's fingers had sent electricity through his entire body just by brushing an eyelash off his lip, or how you would trace the veins that ran through his wrist as you watched a movie together on your couch. the way your touch set his skin on fire. the way he wished he could just admit the way he felt about you. 

he always smiled and said he'd call them sometime. he never did. it wasn't fair to them, but neither was him only ever asking them out because they reminded him of you somehow.

guys were easier, he thought. they didn't remind him of you.

mingyu was so caught up in the sight of you sleeping that he absolutely ran a red. he cursed under his breath when he realized the light he was passing under had been yellow for longer than he had thought, thinking how lucky he was that the cross street was empty. good thing he was almost home.

"hey, sleepyhead," he said when you stretched suddenly as he pulled into his parking spot. "do you wanna go home?"

you shook your head, yawning. "no, i need to eat chips."

he laughed and killed the engine. "you left a pair of house shorts here and you can borrow a shirt," he said, suggesting you crash in his bed when you got too tired for smash.

"what, you don't wanna carry me home?"

mingyu slammed the car door shut and shoved his hand in his pocket. "i'd rather not, no."

you stretched again, a hand reaching out to ruffle his dark hair as he tried to punch in the door code for you to enter his building. "mean."

he laughed at you again, leading you up the three flights of stairs to his apartment.

"hey, minghao," you said, waving at the shadowy figure that was seemingly melting into the couch, illuminated by the tv.

he raised a hand in acknowledgment, sitting with his neck at a 90 degree angle, a movie with subtitles on, and his phone face down on his chest. "yo."

"wanna play smash?" mingyu asked.

"no thanks."

mingyu dropped his keys on the kitchen counter. "we're playing smash."

"you're funny."

you laughed, and mingyu pouted. "please, myungho?"

minghao finally looked at his roommate. "i'm watching annihilation. the switch is handheld for a reason."

you watched mingyu roll his eyes with a smirk on your lips. he went over to the switch dock by the tv and grabbed the console, sticking his tongue out at hao. you giggled, following mingyu down the short hall to his room as minghao waved you both off.

"have i said that i like hao a lot?"

"yes," mingyu said. "like, every time you come over."

you smiled, throwing open his dresser and carding through the shirts that would surely be massive on you. "well i do."

the switch got tossed onto his bed and he sneaked around you to grab a pair of sweatpants from the drawer above the one you were looking in. he also pulled out the pair of shorts you had left, putting them on top of the dresser. "i'm getting naked now."

you shook your head lightly, knowing he was only changing his pants, but kept your back to him out of respect anyways. you picked up the shorts. "did you wash these?"

"yeah, i threw 'em in with my laundry last week."

you nodded, spotting the color you had been looking for. "aha!" you pulled on the ashy gray shirt, revealing one of your favorite things you had ever convinced mingyu to buy. an extremely soft, lightly distressed shirt with a tasteful rip along the neckline. "i'm getting naked now."

"clear," mingyu said, letting you know he wasn't looking as he flopped onto his bed, propping up the switch on his bedside table and setting up the controllers.

you pulled off your loose sweatshirt and swapped it for the borrowed shirt, then shoved the denim shorts down your legs, laughing lightly at how your sleep shorts completely disappeared under the shirt. you turned around, stretching out your arms to show how large the shirt was on you. "look."

mingyu rolled onto his back and propped himself on an elbow to look at you, giggling as you swam in his shirt. outwardly, he smiled, but internally, he thought this was simultaneously the worst and best idea he had ever had.

you looked absolutely stunning in his clothes, he thought, but only said that you were cute. he ignored the familiar feeling in his stomach and handed you a controller as you crawled onto his bed, settling on your stomach next to him.

he had to stop putting himself in this position. you were far too pretty for him to forget his feelings towards you.

but maybe that's what he wanted. maybe he didn't want to forget his feelings. maybe the few times you had told him his dates were attractive weren't just objective reassurances. maybe he held onto the sliver of hope that you could possibly be attracted to him, too.

you slammed your face into the bed as the game loaded. "why are all switch load times utter ass?"

mingyu adjusted so that he was laying on his side with an arm propping him up and flicked the back of your head. "because the console can fit in my palm."

your hand went up to swat at the culprit of the flick, and you pouted as you lifted your head to look at him. "that's not fair, your hands are huge." you wiggled onto your elbows to grab his wrist, pressing your palms together. "see?"

mingyu laughed, feeling his cheeks heat up. "well, you have baby hands, so." he punctuated his point by curling his finger over yours. you pouted again, then slipped your fingers between his, thinking about how nice his warm hand felt over yours.

you blinked, then pulled your hand away and grabbed the joycon as the game finally loaded the skippable intro, hoping you weren't blushing too much as you cleared your throat. mingyu stared at your pink cheeks for a moment, his mind reeling. was he seeing something that wasn't there? or was his hope in you validated?

you were clicking through the menu and felt his eyes on you, and all you wanted to do was hide behind your hair and avoid eye contact. you nearly jumped when mingyu cleared his throat.

"hey, i have something i've been meaning to ask you."

your eyes met his briefly. "shoot."

"do you…" mingyu paused, trying to think of the right way to phrase his question. "i know you have exes that are guys, but is that something you're, like… still into?"

your ears burned and you wiggled until you could sit back on your own legs, fiddling with the hem of the shirt you stole and hesitating to make eye contact. "you mean, being with guys?"

"yeah," he said, watching you intently with his brows furrowed.

"yeah, i mean, i guess?" you shrugged. "i like both."

mingyu nodded slowly, watching your eyes as they stared at the wall across his small room. your cheeks were a rosy pink, and you were chewing on your lip. "me too."

you looked at him finally, your eyes wide. "what?"

he gave you a crooked smile. "i like guys and girls, too."

if you were blushing before, now you were blazing. "oh, my god, i'm an idiot."

he laughed. "what, did you think i was, like, totally gay?"

"shut up," you threw yourself down onto his bed, hiding your face in the blanket. in your defense, he had definitely called himself gay before, but you definitely called yourself gay constantly, so maybe you shouldn't put so much weight in those words. "shut up, i'm embarrassed. i don't want to talk about it."

hearing mingyu laugh next to you made you feel like you were on fire, then you felt the ghosting of fingers on your arm. you froze. mingyu's voice was soft when he spoke again. "do you wanna talk about how i have a massive crush on you?"

you slowly raised your head to look at him, cheeks burning red. he gave you a small smile before you choked out a "huh?"

"i ran a red earlier," he said suddenly, his fingers moving from your arm to absentmindedly brush your hair out of your face, then to your shoulder, then back. it was a reassuring touch, one you had felt from him before, but you still were caught off guard by his sudden succession of confessions. "you were sleeping and i couldn't stop looking at you. i totally could have crashed the car."

"dude, what the fuck." you stared at him, then lowered your voice to imitate him. "'hey i have a crush on you and i almost killed us both because of it.' that's you, that's what you sound like right now."

mingyu laughed in your face and you couldn't help the chuckle that fell out of your mouth. "sorry i almost killed us."

"i guess i can forgive you," you said, picking at your nails suddenly despite them being clean. "especially because i might have a crush on you, too."

mingyu kept staring at you with a fond smile, and you wondered if he could also hear how hard your heart was beating. "can i kiss you?"

you looked at him, trying not to stare at his lips. you nodded, almost hurriedly. his hand pulled against your back as you rolled your body to face him, and your hand reached out for his jaw as he pulled you into him. and when his lips crashed into yours, you yelped slightly, melting into him almost immediately. they were plush against yours, and he was gentle as he pushed your back onto the mattress, adjusting to hover over you slightly. when you let your head fall back onto the bed, he grinned at your blown out pupils and swollen lips, buzzing at the way your hands curled around around his neck, fingers digging into the hair at his nape. he adjusted again, a hand finding your waist as he pulled back to let you swing your leg across his lap. you pulled him back over you, enjoying the way his hips hit the back of your thighs as he caged you in with an elbow by your shoulder. you stared up at him, heart racing, eyes flicking down to his lips too many times for him to not take the hint.

mingyu had always enjoyed pleasing you. this definitely felt like the next natural progression.

he dove into you, and your arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. mingyu was a hugger, and he also liked wearing very little clothing when he worked out, so you knew what he looked like under the plain white tee. knew what he felt like. but suddenly - with his hands slipping under what was technically his shirt to properly feel your waist, with how his tongue fought with yours - you really felt him for the first time. the way his shoulder muscles rippled just beneath the skin as he adjusted, clearly trying to not make his growing bulge so obvious. you considered the fact that you might get to see how much leg day really benefited, considering how much he posted about it with sweaty post-workout pictures on his story.

mingyu felt your thighs squeeze around his hips, pulling back slightly. "is this okay?"

"is it?" you responded, a hand pulling back to fall on his jaw. "i've wanted you for ages."

he laughed lightly. "god, we're idiots."

you had no time to respond before he was kissing you again, his hips rolling into yours, pulling a surprised moan from you. he ate it up, his fingers gripping your waist tighter at the sound. you felt his girth as it pressed against you, and you gasped. when was the last time you had been with a guy? high school?

when mingyu's teeth bit down on your lip, you were really glad he was the guy you were unconsciously waiting for.

he tugged on your hips as he rolled onto his back, pulling you to straddle his lap. you giggled slightly, settling back into the open mouthed kisses as he ran his hands from your ass up your back, slipping under the sports bra you were wearing.

then there was a knock. you yelped, burying your face in his shoulder as you heard the door swing open. "make room for king k r- oh shit!"

you laughed into mingyu's neck as he yelled for seokmin to get the hell out, his hands tugging the hem of the stolen shirt over your butt in an attempt to shield it from view. you heard him squeak out an "i'm sorry!" as the door shut again.

"i'll kill him."

you exhaled, the laughter still on your lips as you looked at his profile from where your cheek pressed against his shoulder. "bet he thinks we're secretly dating."

mingyu laughed, scratching an eyebrow before returning his palm to your ass. "not a secret now."

"oh, so we're dating now?"

mingyu craned his neck to look at you. "is that not what was going to happen?"

you giggled, sitting up and putting your hands on his chest. you adjusted your knees, fully aware of how the movement would rub you against his still hard bulge. "we have both fucked people without dating them afterwards, kim mingyu."

"ah," he said, digging his fingers into your soft ass and rutting into you gently, making you gasp. "we're gonna fuck? i thought we were just joking."

you slapped his chest, giggling still as you rolled your hips. "if you don't wanna, i could ask hao-"

"oh, shut up," he said, pulling you down to kiss him. "if you liked myungho like that you would have tried it ages ago."

you smiled, your thumb running over his adams apple as you placed gentle kisses on his jaw. "sweetie, are we jealous?"

"i don't deserve this, you know?" mingyu pulled your hips against him again, a low grunt tumbling from his beautiful mouth. "i haven't put my dick in a girl since i met you and now i'm with you and you're talking about my roommate? this seems extremely mean."

you giggled again, then placed your lips on his again. he instantly kissed you back, one hand leaving your ass to go to the back of your neck. "you're the only guy i ever think about," you whispered, getting repeatedly interrupted by mingyu's needy lips on yours.

the wolf-like grin that broke onto his face sent chills down your spine. "let's keep it that way."

*

seokmin's hand was still on the doorknob, his wide eyes blinking, when minghao paused his movie and sat up to poke his head out and look down the hall. "the hell was that?"

he puffed out his cheeks as he walked back into the living room, his palms clapping gently. "i thought you said y/n came over to play smash?"

minghao's eyebrow quirked up. "she did."

the eldest sat on the couch. "i thought mingyu was gay?"

"what?" minghao looked down the hall again. "wait, what? were they-" he stopped when he heard a muffled groan that was far too familiar.

seokmin grabbed the remote and pressed play, scratching his cheek as he turned up the volume. "what are we watching? catch me up."

[milkology]

Symphony of Eternal Memories (Chp 3)

Pairing: Prince!Jaehyun x Fem!reader

Chapter 1,  Chapter 2,

TW: Minimal swearing, mentions of anxiety, and y/n does sorta get a panic attack,

Genre: angst, fluff, Royal au, enemies to lovers,

Word Count: 1.2k

Song Recs: Stay Here-Gaho, Little League-Conan Gray, Cigarette Day Dream- Cage the Elephant

Notes: The long awaited (hopefully) chapter 3 is here, I’ll be trying to update more frequently especially since I’m going on a school break in like 2 weeks. Feel free to send your thoughts and criticisms. Also sorry about it being shorter than usual 

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･⋆ ･

There you were trying to fight the tears that were threatening to spill. The conversation lasted five minutes at most but it felt like time had come to a complete halt. You stood up from the chair, dismissing yourself from the king. On your way out you shut the door letting out a huge breath out. The lump inside your throat only grew, you had a certain amount of time until you’d break down in sobs.  

You let out another deep breath, trying to calm yourself down, however that didn’t work. Rather it did the complete opposite and put you in an agitated state. Your breath hitched signaling the start of your breathing speeding up. “Not now” you tried to fight the urge to get on your knees and cry. Right now, your priority was finding a place where you could be alone that wasn’t your room. Somewhere that would go unnoticed and would be less expected. Then it hit you, like you just discovered fire, the greenhouse. You started to speed up your walk and headed towards the back of the palace. From what you remembered from your conversation with Jaehyun, there was a marked cobblestone path that would lead the way. The tile floor of the courtyard came to a stop once you stepped foot into the grassy floor, you spotted the worn downed cobblestone in the distance. It was your cue to run towards the edifice. 

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･⋆ ･

Opening the door, it was visibly unused, it lacked the proper care and attention, this just assured you that you’d be left alone with no one to bother you. You fell on your knees letting out a loud cry, tears began to trickle down your face. The agony you withheld for so long was finally coming out of your mouth in the forms of sobs. You tried to gather yourself up, but you were more inclined to lay your whole body on the floor.

“Why me, out of all people why me?” Your voice cracked from the crying. You longed to be in the arms of your mother, or anyone really. You wanted this extremely long nightmare to come to an end. You had one wish, and it was to wake up all of a sudden and realize that you were just in a deep slumber. However you were sadly wide awake experiencing the hell that life could be firsthand. In short life was really too cruel. Whatever god that was above watching over everyone so omnisciently, clearly had no remorse for you and only wanted to inflict more than what they already had done. 

You laid your chin on top of your knees and wrapped your arms around your leg, still in tears. You continued to cry out in agony, nothing could alleviate the pain you were feeling right now. You managed to end the crying but there were still evident sniffles coming from your runny nose. The color was drained out of your face, a sickly complexion replaced that of your usual color. You felt fatigued all of a sudden not knowing why. A form of nausea consumed you. Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on something other than everything going in the moment. It helped distract you to an extent.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･⋆ ･

It had been about two hours since anyone last saw you. It raised a bit of alertness in everyone. Trying to keep it from scaling into a huge gossip, the king ordered for a small group of people to search for you. One of them being Jaehyun. He wasn’t too fond of the idea of going out on a “scavenger hunt” (as he called it) to go out and find you. In fact it was one of the most utterly irritating things that his father could put him to do. They started with places where you spent most of your time in, but to their luck you didn’t turn out. It caused a frenzy to uproar. While chaos was erupting you were there in the greenhouse, attempting to gain back the energy you lost.

Everyone seemed to lose their hope. Ready to just report back to the king, Jaehyun slowly distanced himself from the group and suddenly remembered how he told you about the abandoned greenhouse. 

“If you would excuse me, I’m afraid I have to go” He gave the maids a polite smile, walking to the greenhouse. It perplexed him how no one thought to look there. But he truly hoped you were there, because a miniature part of him was worried for your wellbeing. He looked down at the route and saw a trail of footprints caused by your heels. He immediately ran following them having reassurance that you were there hiding. 

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･⋆ ･

Opening the rusty gated door, Jaehyun let out a cough from the humidity that formed in the air over the course of many years. Hearing the creaking of the door, your head immediately snapped to the direction of Jaehyun standing with his arms crossed and scowl dressing his face. You wanted to let a million curses but restrained “Of all people why him, couldn't it have been Anne”  

“First of all I’m glad you’re okay” Jaehyun broke the silence between the both of you. However he clearly looked pissed and ready to end every piece of you.

“But are you an idiot, going out like that! No like actually tell me did you even think with that miniature brain of yours. Have you any idea what chaos you caused, my father was worried sick” Jaehyun’s cadence grew, his tone of words containing more aggravation. You had no words to defend yourself, the only reaction you gave him was a flinch. You gulped knowing the worst of his anger was around the corner

“Not only did you waste my time, you wasted everyone else’s! God dammit Y/n you could’ve used that brain of yours for once, just this one time, yet you didn’t, god dammit you’re so selfish!” That was the last straw, he had no right to call you selfish, you were about to let everything slide until he took the final straw.

“Okay you know what you insensitive prick, take the stick that’s shoved up your ass and do me a favor by removing it” You caught Jaehyun by surprise, the serious look on his face shifted into one of disbelief. 

“Do you even understand what I’m going through, because please take a minute to be in my shoes. You know what it is to be told you probably won’t be seeing your parents in a long ass time. How would you react?” You grew frustrated enough where tears began well up in your eyes.

“Don’t you think it’s hard enough that the last time I saw my parents I was ripped right off their arms. Not knowing if I would even hear from them again. Now all of a sudden I get the news dropped that their lives are in even greater danger. I’ve got nothing left, I’ll be a princess with no parents, let alone a throne, So please before you call me selfish you should probably use that brain of yours.” A wiped the few tears that fell down your cheek before walking past him and purposely bumping into him. 

“If you excuse me I’ll be in my room, just so I don’t waste anyone’s time like you said” You stopped at the exit, taking a quick look back before heading to your room hoping you didn’t have to see Jaehyun's  face any time soon. 

“I fucked up, didn’t I?”  Jaehyun spoke to himself watching you leave him behind all alone to think for himself. 

[mortedeveles]

A Search at Midnight.

SUMMARY: Who knew that a ill and sleepwalking Present Mic, and a pair of lost glasses would be the start of your love story witth Tokoyami Fumikage?

PAIRING: Tokoyami Fumikage x gn!reader

THEME: fluff, pining, awkward teenagers <3 [ONE-SHOT] 

TW: I don’t think there’s anything? 

a/n: Please read! this is a personal and writing update. 

hey guys, i known i’ve been MIA for a while. school is kicking my ass majorly, i just got a C in one of my subjects (im usually a straight A student) :’) wishing i could attend therapy and focusing all my time on schoolwork and very little for myself, much less for writing. but ya know, life’s wack. old news. due to this, i can’t promise frequent content. i only have a few planned works that will be released. on another note, regarding my writing, i will be publishing about 2-3 drabbles in the upcoming weeks! i know my interaction is prob gon be low because i’ve been gone for a while ;; but please continue to support me if you enjoy my content <33 FANTASY WEEK has been postponed until further notice. however, we do have a new writing event coming up on late October! will release more information later on. 

sorry for the rant :( i think that’s all and without further ado, please like, reblog, follow and/or comment if you enjoy! supporting content creators is extremely important! love y’all <3 

(will be using banners made by ME from now on. do NOT REPOST. this one-shot is kinda over the place,, may have some inaccuracy with present mic’s quirk ;; also, this one-shot is shorter than usual, but i hope you enjoy!)

The loud blaring of sirens and shouts snap you awake. One moment, you were snuggling your pillow, silently asleep and the next you're scrambling to find your slippers, slapping your glasses on, and racing outside of your U.A Alliance dorm. 

You meet the eyes of your best friend Tokoyami, and rush to his side, eyes darting to observe your surroundings. The rest of class 1A  is in the same hallway as you, kids murmuring nervously. Everyone has messy bed hair and ratty sleep clothing. 

The sirens that shook you awake went silent and within a few seconds, tore into the silence with another screech. Everyone yelps and you flinch. 

''What is it?!'' Everyone begins to murmur and you find yourself clinging to Tokoyami's arm, nervous and half-asleep.

He's been your closest friend since you arrived at U.A. and the two of you share a mutual bond of trust. With just sharing a glance, the two of you know you have to stick together. 

''This is not a drill!'' Aizawa's voice booms- you're not sure from where it’s coming from, ''Class 1A, head to the exit!'' 

Even though your class consists of heroes in training, emphasis on the in-training part, you're still human and react with fear.

Sleep-deprived and overly hyper teens race past you, and while you cling to Tokoyami's side as the two of you rush forward, someone slaps your glasses off your face. It slightly stings.

You don't even register it, adrenaline is pumping through your veins and all you can focus on is reaching the exit of the dorms. The sirens are so loud your ears are straining at the sound. 

Eventually, everyone calms down and Iida, as the good class president he is, turns the chaotic mess of your class into organized students standing in rows.

Your class is standing in the green areas of the campus, the sirens had gone silent a while ago and everyone is fidgety and nervous. What had just happened?

''Alright, class 1A!'' he adjusts his glasses and acting on instinct, you raise your hand to touch yours, only to notice they're gone.  Iida continues talking but you block him out; focusing solely on finding your glasses. 

''No, no...'' you murmur, and Tokoyami notices when your hand releases his arm. He frowns and watches as you murmur to yourself and pat down your shirt and shorts. 

''Aizawa-sensei will be here shortly,'' you manage to catch a few of Iida's words. ''It seems that a...'' he falters. ''Present Mic is ill and is suffering a few symptoms. He's been affected by an unknown quirk, which causes him to release his sonic scream at any time.'' 

Everyone begins to murmur bewilderedly at this, sharing glances and looks. 

''That's right,'' Aizawa stepped out of the dorms and stood next to Iida. The night was dark and you could barely make out Aizawa's figure. 

''And Present Mic...'' he winced. ''Tends to sleepwalk. That's why you heard the sonic screams in your dorms. They're highly dangerous, which is why I ordered you all to leave the dorms and stay away from his range.

''Now,'' your sensei sighs and you realize how his posture was slumped. He was exhausted. ''You can all return to bed. Present Mic has been awoken and returned to the U.A. facilities.'' A classmate or two snickered at this. 

''Alright, you heard sensei!" Despite the time, Iida was rigid and instructive as ever. ''Off to bed! Class 1A, please form a line! Sero, please wrap up Mineta, we don't want any issues this early.'' Sero cheers in agreement and you smile as you hear Mineta shriek.

One you were in a line, in front of Tokoyami, you groan and lean back into him. There seemed to be some commotion upfront and the dorms were still closed.

''Tokoyami...'' you murmured nervously. He frowned in concern at your tone and leaned closer. 

''What's wrong, L/N?'' 

''I lost my glasses,'' you grimace. ''I was about to tell you earlier but I wanted to listen to Aizawa-sensei. Do you think you can help me find them once we step into the dorms?'' 

Tokoyami's body is screaming for sleep, but he knows he'll do anything for you. So he quickly nods.

''Of course,'' he spares a glance at the quickly advancing line. ''It seems that the dorms have been opened. We should head inside and find your glasses.'' 

''Yeah,'' you smile softly- the smile that always makes Tokoyami's heart skip a beat and walk at his side. ''Thanks, Toko. I really appreciate it.'' 

He hums in response, feeling his throat clench as his heart performs an acrobatic show in his ribcage. Tokoyami wonders if you notice how his heart goes euphoric every time you smile at him. 

 Once the two of you are inside the dorms, Tokoyami summons Dark Shadow; he was a bit fearful at the start, but the lighting of the dorms is far enough to keep Dark Shadow on reins. 

After minutes of searching and several grumbles of annoyance, the two of you find nothing. Well, the search was mainly of Tokoyami and Dark Shadow, since you weren't able to see much without your glasses. 

''Oh man...'' you sigh and slump your shoulders. ''I'm going to have to buy new glasses.'' 

Tokoyami frowns at your disappointment and his eyes catch a gleam of silver on the ground. ''Wait,'' he steps away and grabs the glasses off the floor. He grimaces as he presents them to you. They're cracked, twisted, and definitely not wearable anymore.

''Oh no...'' you frown as you hold them in your hands. 

Your sadness unsettles him; and before Tokoyami can even close his beak, a string of words escape them. 

''I'll help you.''

Slightly frightened, you flinch before looking at him. ''How? You don't have to pay for them Toko, they're my responsibility. I appreciate the thought, you're very sweet.'' 

He feels his feathers ruffle at your compliment and he's thankful you aren't wearing your glasses otherwise you'd see his flustered face.

''I-I,'' the boy clears his throat. ''Ahem. I can help you take your notes and so on until you receive a new pair of glasses.'' 

You gasp and grin gleefully. Your body is racing towards him before you can even blink and you wrap your arms around his back, squeezing him as you bury your cheek into his chest.

Tokoyami falters in surprise and nearly squawks- thankfully, he's able to shove it down his throat before he hesitantly returns your hug.

''Of course, Y/N. You are very dearest to me and I would do anything for you.'' God damn it! It seems that he can't control his body tonight! The romantic confession leaves his body and nearly takes his soul alongside.

His words make you freeze and he internally curses at himself, knowing he's ruined your friendship.

''...Really?'' your voice is barely higher than a whisper and Tokoyami finds himself slowly nodding. 

''I like you too, Tokoyami,'' there's a soft smile playing on your lips that makes his knees weak. 

''Well,'' he diverts his gaze from your smiling face. Tokoyami knows that if he stares for too long, he'll never be able to stop. ''That's-that's wonderful.'' 

You laugh quietly at his sudden bashfulness and tug his hand towards the dorm's elevator. 

''C'mon, we should head to sleep.'' Tokoyami feels impossibly happy as he walks with you, hand in hand, and shoulders brushing against each other. He doesn't think he's ever felt this happy before. 

And after the two of you step into the elevator and the doors are about to close, you press a soft but brief cheek on his feathery cheeks before returning your gaze to the floor. The doors slam shut with a ding! and the two of you are blushing impossibly hard.

Needless to say, losing your glasses is the best thing that's happened to both of you. Who knew that a pair of missing glasses would result in a romantic confession from your best friend? 

[ghoste-catte]

multiples of 3 ✌🏼-sgmdrcklee

@sagemoderocklee you’re really trying to kill me lol

This got long as heck so I’m throwing it behind a cut. Read on for answers and fic recs! (Mostly the fic recs)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

This is a tough one to answer for me generally because I tend to spit words onto the page and once I have written them I no longer remember writing them. And 2020 has stretched on so long that as I’m looking at some of the stuff I wrote in the beginning of this year, I hardly remember what’s even in it. I think at one point someone (@goblin-draws maybe?) mentioned a line in Sleeptalk with Me where the innkeeper calls Kankuro “chubby boy”, and I was like “Oh ... did I write that? Yeah, sounds like something I’d have someone say to Kankuro ...” 

It might be easier to talk about this in other terms. One of the scenes I worked the hardest on this year was the fight scene in Chapter 3 of Skeleton Key. The original draft of the scene was a lot shorter, and a lot of the backstory for Misaki’s revenge quest was elided. The scene as originally written was clunky, confusing, and as my lovely wife/beta put it sounded “like a Naruto villain” was doing the dialogue, when previously she’d found Misaki sinister and intriguing. Which wasn’t what I wanted. I basically entirely overhauled the scene and re-wrote it several times. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’ scene (I hate writing fight scenes generally; having chosen to immerse myself in a fandom about ninja where much of the drama comes from battle is my eternal regret), but it is a scene that I put a lot of effort into, and I’m moderately satisfied with the improved product that resulted.  

6. least popular fic this year

By far my least popular fic by kudos ever is Pitch Perfect. Which makes complete sense to me. It’s a fic where I’ve written 2 characters who are men in canon as cis women, which pushes a lot of uncomfortable buttons for a lot of people. It contains F/F smut, which is something that a lot of people who choose to read GaaLee probably aren’t out there looking for. And people comment and kudos less on smutfics, I assume because they don’t want their username attached to porn or because they’re embarrassed (which I totally get, no shame there). It’s a modern AU with a sports twist, and AUs are often less popular than canonverse in my experience. I will say though that it has a surprisingly high number of private bookmarks compared to other fics with comparable hit and kudos counts. So I assume people are just a bit more shy because the premise is so ‘out there’. I will say as far as my fics go, it’s one of my personal favorites and probably one of the most intimate and true-to-life things I’ve written? So it actually is a little comforting to know that something so vulnerable has relatively little attention. 

9. longest wip of the year

If we’re going based on stuff that’s partially published but not complete, my Gaara-adopts-Shinki fic On My Way Home is my longest in-progress fic at just over 20k words, although technically I started it in 2019. It will probably end up being right around 40-50k when it’s complete, which might end up situating it as my longest fic ever? 

12. favorite character to write about this year

Okay, this is an easy one. I love writing Kankuro. I think he is hilarious. He is the devil on my shoulder and a creature of pure id, and every time I write a line of dialogue for him it’s the summation of my rudest thoughts about a situation put in the crudest possible terms. If there were a megaphone directly from my unfiltered brain giving running commentary, that would be Kankuro.

15. something you learned this year

I have learned SO much this year! This is only my 2nd year properly ‘focusing’ on writing fic and investing any substantial time into it. I think the biggest thing I have learned, though, is how to overcome a lot of my self-consciousness about writing stories with NSFW elements in them. Starting out, I was so extremely shy and mortified about writing fic at all, much less things like hugging or (god forbid!) kissing. So taking on the smut prompts I took this year and really buckling down on learning to write the mechanics and emotions of sex has been a massive learning experience. (And sorry, by the way, if I haven’t gotten to a prompt you sent me in January yet. I do intend to write all of them eventually!) 

18. current number of WIPs

Ah. The call-out question. My general fic process is idea -> outline -> wip -> edit -> ready to post (where the final draft sits in my docs until I gin up the courage to actually post it). So skipping fics that are just “ideas” on the big mega-list, I have 3 fics in the “outline” stage, 13 fics in the partially written “wip” stage, 1 fic in the “editing” stage, and 2 that are complete but yet-to-be-posted. So, like, 19 total in the offing. (The “ideas” list is even worse lol.)

21. most memorable comment/review

This is such a difficult question because every single comment I get makes me do a little dance for joy. That’s not an exaggeration btw I really sit there and like bounce around in my seat for a moment before I open the Ao3 email. I am not an especially emotive person irl, but there have been times I’ve been brought near tears by comments. I’ll also occasionally show them to my wife like !! look at this nice thing this person said !! and she’s indulgent enough to actually read them. There have been a couple comments that have really stuck with me, that I starred in my inbox and return to frequently, but I don’t want to bring attention to someone else without their permission. I will say there was one person recently who mentioned (not in the comments on one of my fics) that they had found someone who does physical binding of fanfiction and they were about to ask my permission to do that, but then the person who does the binding only does certain ships that she likes ... so that, just, absolutely floored me. The idea that someone might actual want a physical copy of my stupid little ninja fanfictions is, like, so truly immense and completely overwhelming?

24. favorite fic you read this year

You can’t make me pick just one!! (For reference, I have bookmarked right around 180 fics in the past year, and that’s not including fics that I just read, really enjoyed, but didn’t think I could ‘handle’ a second time around.) So, skipping over the ones that AREN’T Naruto ... here is a brief sampling of some faves:

Silica by deepestbluest (rated E, GaaLee, ShikaTema, and Kankiba) - An absolute emotional powerhouse of a fic that manages to skillfully interweave three complex relationship dynamics, satisfactorily resolve them, and give you ALL the sandsibs feels in just over 10k words. 

Childhood Not-Friends (series) by MegaWallflower (rated G, KakaGai) - @megawallflower is a KakaGai god for good reason. Absolutely adorable relationship development fics (five of them!) with the premise that Kakashi thinks he and Gai have been dating since they were kids ... Gai just hasn’t been clued into it yet. These stories will give you heart-eyes.

The Bright Side by gidget_goes (rated T, GaaLee) - This is the Buffy AU I never knew I needed, because I’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But truly you don’t need any Buffy knowledge to enjoy this fic. @gidget-goes command of imagery is masterful, and the way they manage to snap from snark to tugging at your heartstrings is awe-inspiring. Gaara breaks my heart in this. And did I mention Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat? Because Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat. 

Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (rated T, GaaLee) - So introspective and so poetic. This looks like a WIP but it’s actually multiple oneshots, although by the end of the second one you’ll be dying for the rest of the promised series. 

I’m a Fool to Want You by BeelieveRosemarie (rated M, GaaLee) - Turns out @tuttiefruttiegaalee isn’t just an amazing artist, they’re a writer, too! Slow-dancing that will break your heart. Listen to the Frank Sinatra song while you read this for extra tear-jerking effect.

Let Love be Known (series) by TenTomatoes (rated G, GaaLee) - This is the twist on the arranged marriage trope and Beauty and the Beast that I didn’t realize this fandom was missing. I’m absolutely obsessed with their concept of Gaara as the Beast

I Could Be by LilacNoctua (rated T, GaaLee) - I know I big up @lilac-writes Worthwhile series a lot (deservedly so, because it’s so good it makes you look at the series and go “Why the fuck didn’t Kishimoto make this canon exactly like this?”), but this story made me absolutely die between the butterflies in my stomach and how hard I was laughing. There’s one line--you’ll know it when you read it--that absolutely bowls me over every time I re-read this. 

And Then Continue by EgregiousDerp (rated E, GaaLee) - Obviously I’m biased because this was a gift, but @egregiousderp writes some of the the best characterized porn I’ve ever read. You will read this and go “Wow! This is exactly how it would happen!” It’s such a tender, beautiful exploration of Gaara’s insecurities and a very real feeling first time, for all its soft edges. 

Cake by citronelle (rated E, KanKiba) - I don’t even know what to say about this one other than ... phew, this is extremely well written, extremely hot, and extremely in character. Just read it. I promise it’s worth it. 

Saudade by YumKiwiDelicious (rated M, GaaLee) - I’ve run around reccing this to just about every person on the face of the earth at this point. If you’re in the GaaLee Discord you probably saw everyone salivating over every new update of this fic and with good reason. The twists and turns of this fic will have you on the edge of your seat, second guessing every single moment. And it will break your heart in the meantime. What more could you want?

the love potion commotion by floating_cats (rated T, NejiSasu with background GaaLee) - One of those fics where you wish the author’s sense of humor was your own. So many hilarious moments in this story, and it brought me a new appreciation for a ship I never would have even considered. 

Finger Lickin’ Good by whazzername (rated E, GaaLee) - Whazz is another one of those authors where I literally want to rec every single thing she’s ever written, she’s just that good. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t read Fools Rush In and its sequel Degrees of Separation, you’re missing out on the best possible Metal origin story of all time. Don’t deprive yourself of this.) But this story is just ... so incredibly in character for a situation that reads like crack. It’s handled with the utmost straight-facedness and it’s so. freakin’. good. 

heart lines by winterberry_holly (rated M, NejiTen and GaaLee) - I don’t even have the words to describe how perfect this fic is. It’s a truly beautiful exploration of Tenten’s relationship with her palmistry hobby and with the people in her life. My heart ached with every single line. 

Standing on Ceremony by kuroashi (rated E, GaaLee) - This is just ... such a beautiful wedding story. So lovely, like getting the best possible warm hug from someone you love. If that love one was slightly strange and socially inept, because, well. It’s still Gaara doing Gaara-things. @baphometsss is another one of those authors whose handling of smut scenes is so stupendous it makes me wildly jealous. 

Thrall by RokiRiot (rated T, GaaLee) - Idiots-to-lovers with a magic AU twist! This is such a wonderful story, and Gaara’s internal monologue is absolutely amazing. And Lee is Deaf in this fic, which I never ever get to see and which absolutely made my entire day/week/month/life. 

Make-Out Consequences by LuxaLucifer (rated M, KakaGai with background canon Boruto ships) - I laughed so hard reading this that I had to take a breather to stop crying. That’s not an exaggeration. The characterization in this fic is impeccable and the humor is to die for. Naruto’s buffoonery truly shines here, and the author’s wit is just beyond anything I could even properly summarize. Hysterical. A++. 

Thirteen Strokes by Luna_Lee (rated T, GaaLee) - Again, like, if you aren’t reading literally everything @sagemoderocklee writes, are you even really a GaaLee fan? But this fic is beyond even for one of Eeri’s incredibly excellent writings. The worldbuilding in this, the cultural notes, the imagery ... it’s all so lush and so fulfilling and so beautiful. It’s a story about love and it’s a story that you can tell has love poured into every single line. I can’t recommend it enough. 

Checkmate by shadowstrangle (rated G, GaaLee) - The pettiness vibes ... this is so funny. Such a cute story and I love Gaara’s sense of humor here. Not a lot of writers give him a sense of humor, but I love how @shadowstrangle gives him a slightly odd, slightly left-of-center take on humor that still manages to be so funny. 

To Court a Village by FanFictionEngineer (rated G, GaaLee) - Another one where my bias is perhaps slightly obvious, but the premise of this fic is amazing. I love cultural misunderstandings, and the idea of Lee trying his hardest to court Gaara ineptly is just so perfect. 

affliction of feeling by theformerone (rated E, SakuHina) - One of those ships that it would never have occurred to me to seek out but that absolutely works with how the author’s set it up. The dynamics here are delicious. It’s so rare to find good F/F porn but this is one of them for sure. 

Tried and Tested by twentysomething (Rated M, KakaIru with background canon Boruto ships and GaaLee) - Iruka’s narration in this story is just incredible. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a fic in ages. And the concept alone (that Naruto can’t be promoted to Hokage until he passes his chuunin exams ... as an adult ... and Sasuke gets dragged along for the ride) is just brilliant. Amazing concept, amazingly executed. 

a fireside waltz by winterberry_holly (rated M, GaaLee) - I really tried not to rec a single author more than once here but for this one I had to. I got about halfway through this fic and immediately started running around ringing the town crier bell like READ THIS FIC! READ THIS FIC! An absolutely smoldering Regency AU with such beautiful, intimate dance scenes. My heart was racing every single time their fingers brushed. If you don’t read anything else on this list, at the very least read this. 

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

I really can’t pick just one. I am lucky enough that @egregiousderp passes me her drafts under the table before (or without) publishing, and getting to read those is a private treat of unparalleled proportions. Some of my favorite things I’ve read this year I can’t even rec because they’re her unpublished stuff. 

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

This is gonna come off strange because I just wrote such a long Naruto reclist, but I recently watched What We Do in the Shadows, and found an incredibly talented group of authors in that fandom with really amazingly good dialogue and narrative voice. I also read a lot of fic for the new It movies (even though I couldn’t watch the 2nd one for ~reasons~), and damn if there isn’t a talented crop of authors in that fandom, too. And finally with ATLA making its way onto Netflix, I had the chance to start watching that for the first time and found a ton of really good fic there as well! 

fanfic end of the year asks!

[erenscherub]

Hey! I’m from ao3 and I Just wanted to let you know that I love your story! I can’t wait to see y/n confront Eren and see his reaction! By the way, I saw that you don’t have a set day/schedule for updating but I was just wondering when the next chapter would be posted? Don’t worry, I’m not rushing you at all (please take your time) I was just curious >.< hope you’re doing well <3

Hi bubz 💕 how are you doing? It’s so cool to see someone from ao3 find me on tumblr! It makes me really happy to see you’ve taken such an interest in the story. I hope you’re doing well too!

Sending you a big virtual hug 💕 there’s more of my rambling posted under the cut.

I tend to post more frequently on tumblr since I usually break up the chapters here into 2-6k chunks. On ao3 you’ll notice the first chapter was about 8.8 k but on tumblr I broke it up into three chapters. I decided to post seasons both on tumblr and ao3 since I prefer to have longer chapters even if there’s less frequent updates. But I noticed there’s others who prefer shorter chapters that are posted in closer intervals.

I would have a set schedule for seasons but in all honesty, I don’t know where the story is going either 😂😂

I’m not sure if it makes sense but I usually find out what I want to happen in a chapter through writing through my writer’s block. I also have two friends I brainstorm ideas with and they get to see the yucky word vomit first drafts. And after a lot of discussion (and analysis from one of them where they point out that the reader is fucked up in her own way) there’s a shit ton of revision. I think I have like eighteen drafts for this one chapter in fall after the fairytale one.

Bottom line, the chapter content will be the same on both platforms. It’s just on tumblr, if you dig through the seasons tags, I go more into detail/include some summaries of the analysis i did with my friend.

Like why Eren cheats; even if he’s insecure it doesn’t excuse the whole thing.

The whole Marcel being Eliza’s godfather thing was something me and her debated for like two hours. I didn’t think it was shitty on the reader’s part and I couldn’t see how insecure it could make Eren until my friend used a real life example of someone in her family. Basically one of her relatives (let’s call her V) is engaged (to J) and she does have a child (we’ll call her M) from a previous relationship. M’s father isn’t in the picture but his best friend (R) is M’s godfather and constantly pesters V to send more pictures of her daughter to the biological father even though he cut and run. J is basically another parent figure to M. But the thing is R and V used to sleep together and it’s just a big insecurity of J’s that her fiancée has a history with their child’s godparent and it usually is the topic of most of their arguments.

So the reader and Marcel didn’t sleep together but she had feelings for him during their medical school days. And Eren’s in-laws always throw it in his face that the only reason Marcel is the godfather and not the father of Eliza is because Eren got to the reader first.

Ok I just realized how long my rambling actually went.

I am super sorry for the word vomit when you just wanted to know when the next chapter was coming out.

Tl;dr - thank you so much for taking the time to leave an ask, angel! Sorry for the Ted talk. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Take care of yourself and stay hydrated and please get plenty of rest 💕 sending all my love!

[chemicalarospec]

A Look At Dan’s Recent Branding

AKA I Make Up a Bunch of Stuff About Media and Perception and Promotion and Branding and Say the Same Things Over and Over

I’m so sorry this is actually horrendously long. I’m a loquacious a$$hole.

So I started rambling in the tags of this post began thinking about Dan’s  presence recently. The reason so many of us fell for the red chairing was because it actually seemed possible -- perhaps not a proper joint video, but a cameo or side role.

Now that the video’s out, I can see it has very strong Solo Phil vibes, but I can still imagine a few different ways Dan could have been in it if he wanted to be. (Side note: It also feels like a run-of-the-mill, everyday, video, though seasonal, and not a festive special, despite the content. idk, I blame it on the lack of decoration and boring grey wall. cue clowning for more spoopy content though.) Dan is not in the video, so he must not have wanted to be in it. Why? 

Before I talk more, let’s just talk about “branding” for a bit. I use it interchangeably with “image”/”public image”/”public persona”/”common connotations”/”associations” here (kinda wrongly), but I default to “branding” because it’s what the phandom (possibly even Dan and Phil themselves?) use the most frequently -- “image” is perhaps the best-fitting term. Regardless, in a very general example, if Stephen King wrote a fluffy teenage romance book, it would be “off-brand” for him. That’s what we’re talking about here. Except with Dan and smaller differences.

It’s also worth noting that Dan and Phil were not always Dan-and-Phil -- I remember seeing an early liveshow clip where Dan says they’re not a double act. I’m pretty sure the radio show in 2013/early 2014 followed by the launch of the gaming channel in 2014 is when they became a “double act” --  the BBC absolutely billed them as such. 

You can see what I’m getting at here: Dan is trying to drop the “and Phil” in a softer way than he dropped the “isnotonfire” back in 2017. However, it’s definitely worth noting that he had already distanced himself quite a bit from it before the official name change, with first the shorter fringe and then the curls being a visual representation of that. And it’s probably just a mental thing on my part, but curly Dan now looks different from curly Dan-with-Phil.

Okay so first, why is he trying to change his image? Like his first evolution, a major component is being more mature -- llamas and malteasers didn’t simply not represent Dan anymore, they represented a younger, less mature Dan. He didn’t like it anymore. Does Dan not like who we view him as now? My first instinct is “no,” because his current connotations are fairly empty, but I don’t really know, so I’ll just move on.

What do we associate with Dan right now? i. e. what’s “on brand” for him? Well, again, there’s not a lot of strong specifics, at least for me. After two years for being nearly absent from the internet and very clearly growing a lot as a person, Daniel hasn’t talked enough for there to be only the basics left: tall, British, memes, and gay.

Okay, but the gay. Dan and Phil have been out for one year, but being part of The Gays is a pretty big part of their branding. This is because of their already long-standing reputation, more specifically their attachments to the community -- all those teenage girls turning out to be lesbians and, of course, the shipping.

The Gay is also an answer to the next question: What different aspects of his image is he pushing? Again, that he’s more mature and serious -- the UN talk, for example. I’m not counting the book here because that’s the product of the changes, not content being used to create a shift.

The big thing I want to focus on is the attitude video series. I’m very curious as to how this came about to be and don’t know enough details to say some things, but one thing I can note is that the plug for You Will Get Through This Night is a really small part of it. It’s literally the last thing he says, and they don’t even show the cover. It’s so skippable, and while it’s good that means they all really care about the important content of the series, it does create some questions.

To be honest, all of the attitude/This Night content is kind of strange to me. For example, the quote they used to promote it doesn’t mention the book, which just looks bad. This Night isn’t really the center of the collab -- it’s more general mental health awareness and activism.

So that’s the first thing Dan’s trying to put into his image. The podcast (Get Britain Talking or something like that) is, I feel, more directly part of marketing This Night, though of course, like with the video series, the content itself is emphasized and important and I should treat it as such.

Back to attitude. attitude is “the UK’s best selling gay magazine.” Why is Dan trying to build connotations to things he already is? No, but actually this gives insight on how he’s trying to be perceived: he’s a confident gay man. This magazine with its connotations (formal media, queer, well-established) will come up should someone new search up Dan -- obviously that’s not the direct reason; it’s a representation of his public image. 

Why is he trying to create this image? Right now, us in the phandom are probably 90% of the people tuned into Daniel’s actions. We’ve already built up a lot about him, and though we don’t want to admit it, we do like Dan-and-Phil, the double act. Overall, I do think Dan will not change our image of him as much as he’d like, but he has changed it more than we might think -- for example, people talking about how “mature” and “grown-up” he is in new photos. 

I think I’m just stupid, but these pushes don’t seem to be needed for You Will Get Through This Night. Okay so the problem here is “how do you get people to buy a book?” An author’s broader public persona doesn’t really impact this. I’m not going to hear about a mental health book written by an ex-Youtuber and search up the author. I’m not going to hear about a mental health book written by an ex-Youtuber in my normal book searching, period.

You know where I could see myself finding out about a book like this, and what would get people to buy the book? Doing mainstream interviews specifically about it; I’ll read TIME interviews with anyone, so long as it seems mildly interesting. But Dan’s not doing that, not a lot, not yet. (I bet he will later.)

I guess what I’m saying is the attitude video series is periphery media that impacts his branding but does not reach a large audience; it’s impact is atmospheric, not promotional.

(Dude it’s 10:30 at this point I’m not sure what I’m saying.) (also I rearranged these paragraphs sorry if it reads poorly)

Dan is a private person. He has made this extensively clear throughout the years and in the most recent content. What this means is I don’t believe he wants to update his branding just for the sake of accuracy to self.

So it’s (partially) for something else, but the public framing clearly goes beyond This Night. The obvious answer is that Dan’s just trying to return to the public eye, but then I still ask why???

The attitude series is not an end goal -- i. e. it is a building block for something. I mean, I just don’t think Dan’s like “yeah I want to create content again and this is the content I want to create,” simply because it started out seeming like an extension of the interview and now it’s clearly more than that, but it’s still like, for the magazine. It’s not his.

So what’s Dan going to do with this status of being a queer content creater and mental health advocate he’s curating? So remember how there’s a 99% chance he’s doing something w/ television but there’s been no official announcement? Yeah, that. 

I had a few paragraphs talking about book-adjacent media (interviews, reviews, ect.) vs television-adjacent media but all of it was me 100% making stuff up so it’s gone now. Basically, I *think* if he were to make a show, fiction or non-fiction, people would search him up and write a small description of him, and I *think* this is less likely for You Will Get Through This Night, so I *think* this reputation-building is in preparation of the former, not the latter.

Isabelle, you spent over an hour on this, do you actually have anything interesting to say?

Freaking *waves hands* promotional-- social dynamics-- what the heck actually is branding at this point-- Dan show.

TL;DR: It might just be the French in me (or just *my* French relatives?), but life is manipulation and Dan is trying to drop “and Phil” from his name and is manipulating his public image to be more mature, with a focus on being one of The Gays and a mental health advocate. Because it’s not vibin’ as This Night promotion/set-up, it is likely setup for promotion for another project, probably the TV one.

TL;DR 2: Just read the tags on the original post I literally didn’t have to say any of this except for “television theory”.