#sorry y'all have never been to a humanities conference

[the-everqueen]

i think my pinned post summarizes the issue fairly succinctly, pero...it makes me so so uncomfortable when fandom et large decides that a dark-skinned black woman or a distinctly "ethnic" woman is a sex-repulsed aroace lesbian. not because there aren't black and brown women who identify that way, and not because i don't support them or diverse headcanons around a character's sexuality. but because when a lot of people automatically categorize a racialized Other as above/beyond/disgusted by sex, esp. when they otherwise intensely talk about white mlm or light-skinned queer ships as being sexual and romantic, it feels like the message (unintentional or not) is, "black and brown women are not worthy of love or romance. black and brown women need to be Untouchable in order to be acceptable. black and brown women do not warrant devotion or physical intimacy or narratives outside of pain." so many black female characters get labeled aroace in order to remove them as a "threat" to the primary white mlm ship. so many characters coded as brown get labeled as "platonic" partners. oh, fandom will say they're codependent with a male character, but then insist in the same breath that the two characters could NEVER feel romantic or sexual attraction, could NEVER be something besides friends. and i see this primarily from white fans, which is why i want them to consider what impulses led them to these conclusions. you don't have to "ship" the characters, you don't have to subscribe to the same textual readings. but why are you so insistent that yours is the ONLY one?

[acciojaeyun]

george weasley using a spreader bar... think about it 👀👀

over the phone accidents

pairing: george weasley x fem!reader warning: bdsm, degradation, slight voyeurism, george weasley using a spreader bar. also, do i have to mention ceo!george? i feel like i have to. prompt: "uh, you weren't supposed to hear that," "you still would want it, either way."

a/n: Y'ALL THE THOUGHT IS LITERALLY HOT???????? and i just really need to pause before writing this because george using a spreader bar??? i'm such a weak ass for this man. he's the death of me, i'm telling you. also the edit??? goddamn. thank you, anon! x

summary: what happens when george weasley hears y/n's conversation over the phone? well, not just any conversation, of course. it consists of an unspoken fantasy about to be attained.

"Are you done?" George asks as he pushes himself away from his glass desk. Taking a sip of his already-cold caffè corretto, a needed boost for an extra busy day. He takes a stern look at Y/N who was still busy jotting down the notes from the things George had reminded and told her about just a few seconds ago. Y/N was almost embarrassed under George's rather impatient stare, knowing that he'll be needing the notes as soon as he finished talking.

You see, George Weasley was an impatient man. An impatient man who had the immense amount of patience in other things, that being meetings and conferences with future investors and partners for his enterprise. His patience was only limited to work and his family. Amongst other things besides those, he was rather impatient.

Especially in the bedroom. And to be more specific, especially impatient with his executive assistant, Y/N.

Y/N Y/L/N never saw it coming. Her working at his company moments after her graduation as the company's human resource deemed her perfect for the position that had been open yet again after the last assistant had resigned since the CEO himself was someone difficult to keep up with.

And George liked to keep it that way, actually. He didn't like the thought of having an assistant no matter how much his parents had pushed him. They almost easily succumbed to the idea that he was doing fine independently, if only had he not been three minutes late one time for a business deal with a stock investor that one time, then he wouldn't be in constant hiring of assistant that would just give up on his attitude in the long run.

He actually found it interesting how Y/N had managed to keep up with him in the longest run. Maybe other than her rather obvious attraction to him, their sex was something put George in his line. Other than his sex drive being fulfilled most of the times, he had an outlet for every pent-up frustration. And, he also liked the idea of bossing someone around, work and bedroom-wise.

That's why he decided to keep Y/N. Not to mention that he was unintentionally falling for his assistant. But that was another topic for another day.

"Yes, wait a minute." Y/N replied, hands writing in such a hasty manner, not minding about the messy handwriting as long as it is still readable. "Well, can you go any slower? You know I have a meeting –"

"In five," she cut him off as she tore the piece of paper from her pad, "Here you go."

"Not very respectful of you to cut me off, Y/N."

Y/N blushed, looking down at the ground, "I'm sorry,"

"You have to be," George rolled his eyes, retrieving the paper and scanning his eyes throughout the paper, her messy handwriting still readable, as George thinks, relieved in the slightest. "You know what happens to disobedient little girls, do you?" he asked as he made his way to her, fingers taking a hold of her chin to hoist her head up, and when her head was fixated in a way he could easily lean into, he brought his head down and pulled her to a quick french kiss.

Y/N moaned at the sudden action, louder when George placed the paper inside the back pocket of his trousers to cup her sex under her beige skirt. "I haven't done anything yet, sweetness," he smirked, "But I do like the idea that I don't have to do anything to get you worked up."

George received a moan from Y/N, and his grin was something Y/N swears was enough to send her into an overdrive. His hand sped up in rubbing her over her clothed pussy, and when Y/N had reached on his arms to hold on to him, George had - much to Y/N's frustration - pulled away.

"I have a meeting in two," he smirked, smoothing out his unwrinkled black coat. "Wouldn't want this suede coat be wrinkled out of your impatience, love."

"Fuck you," you breathed, earning a chuckle from her boss. "What? This coat costs me a fortune, wouldn't want this to be ruined just because you couldn't sit still."

Y/N rolled her eyes, exceptionally and royally frustrated that George really had to do this. Normally, he would be up for a quickie even though he had a meeting in 10. That was why she was easy to give up herself to George when he had touched her in a rushed manner.

"I'll be back in an hour," George stated getting a hold of his phone as he ruffled his hair out of instinct. Something, before the whole thing with George, Y/N had found attractive beforehand. "Don't touch anything." George warned.

And when George had disappeared from his office, Y/N felt quite adventurous and went to sit on his leather chair, almost leaning to the chair on how relaxing it feels. Y/N now understands George persona, that being in power is something so addicting. That even sitting on a chair that she knew costed more than her wage exuded a different type of boost - not to mention the adrenaline of being caught by George in her position was something that have added to such excitement.

She knew it was wrong, but being his assistant for a mere timeline of eight months and a hook-up (as much as she wants more than that), Y/N knew so much about the office. But if ever there's something that she didn't know, it was the leather jewellery box beside his crystal liquor decanter, adjacent to another white door which Y/N couldn't quite figure what lies inside it.

Though Y/N may have had an idea, she couldn't quite picture the thought of having the thought of room inside his office. Besides, George was a busy man, while he can squeeze in a quick fuck in his office, Y/N thinks George wasn't into BDSM - that, or maybe she really doesn't know it yet. Besides, they were new to this whole agreement and it is better for George to initiate the conversation rather than her.

But curiosity killed the cat and Y/N was one stumbling feline. Knowing that George had already left ten minutes ago and she has fifty more minutes to spare (considering that she had done all of the necessary workloads before the set due), she went her way to the marble stand. Hands going first to the decanter to let herself take a quick shot to calm her down before she regretted taking a hold of the box.

Her hands, shaking, opened the box, and she was met with a shiny key that she didn't know if it belonged to the door adjacent to the mini bar. But Y/N took her chances, taking strides to the door with the key in her hand.

And the very moment she opened the door, she was met with a dimly-lit, charcoal-grey painted room. Her hands went to the side, knowing that switches of rooms in the building were just beside the door. Her breath hitched as the half bowl-shaped, warm-toned lamps flickered on one by one, exposing a wide array of sex toys to Y/N.

"Holy fuck," she muttered, frozen in her spot as she takes in the sight before her. She was mistaken. George was into BDSM. The room before her confirmed much to her.

When Y/N was about to come near to the sections of sex toys arranged in size and commonality, her thoughts were interrupted by a phone call.

"Hello?" she answered, not really minding who the caller was as her head was consumed with obscene scenarios with George. "Y/N! How are you?" Angelina, her best friend, squealed on the other line.

"Hey, Angie, I'm dong fine. What made you call?"

Angelina started talking about her day, which consisted a lot of rants from work and of course, her filthy thoughts about her crush which happened to be Fred Weasley, George's twin. Who was the complete opposite of George. As Fred was a bit more loose than the uptight George. She remembers him one time during family dinner which George - though she was confused about it - had brought her with him. She had decent conversations with Fred once or twice, it could've been more had George not warned her about it through squeezed thighs under the dinner table.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" Angelina asked, snapping Y/N out of her daydreams as she ran her fingers through the whip.

"What - oh, yeah, I'm here. What did you say?"

"You seem distracted."

"No, I am not."

"George looking exceptionally great today?" Angie teases, knowing how Y/N messages her once or twice a week whenever she found George wearing a new coat or had styled his hair differently. Words about how he looked so hot to fuck with, and how his new watch seemed to shine bright under the lights.

"No!" she yelled rather loudly, only to clear her throat at Angie's laughter, "I mean, yeah," she admitted, which made her best-friend laugh harder.

"I mean, a literal sex god, that man is. A walking piece of art. I wouldn't mind him using a spreader bar on me, that would be fucking hot. " she said, moving on to the other row, until her eyes landed on a familiar sex toy. She has heard about it, but she never used it (considering she hadn't have had BDSM to begin with) or even thought of using it. But the thought of George using a spreader bar on her has have had her pussy wet all over again.

"Mhm," Angelina hummed, as if expecting for a following phrase she knew Y/N was to give her any moment now.

"I mean," Y/N breathes, "There's never a day when George is not hot as hell, sexy, if I may add, and there's literally never a day when I wouldn't let him use m –"

And just as Y/N was about to turn around to get out of the room before she finds herself trapped in George's wrath out of her not following his instructions, she might've thought later enough as she was met with George Weasley himself leaning on the door frame with his hands folded on his chest.

Y/N swears she has heard a squeal on the end of the line, but Y/N already dropped her call with Angelina. Heart thumping as she was caught wandering inside of what Y/N assumes, George's playroom.

"Sir, your meeting ended quite earlier than expected," Y/N breathes, hoping that George had just arrived now and had only caught her in the room, and had not heard about what she wants George to do to her with a spreader bar. George responded with a chuckle.

"What did I say about 'not touching anything,' Y/N?" he asked, hands coming up for his thumb to play on his bottom lip. "Too caught up in your chat with whoever to not think of my instructions?" he smirked.

Y/N's mouth ran dry, "Uh, you heard that?"

"What, about you letting me use you whenever I please?" George raised his eyebrow up, taking a step in the room. "Please, I already know that."

Y/N sighed lightly out of relief.

"But I didn't know that you would want me to use a spreader bar on you."

Y/N's head whipped towards his direction, eyes widening at George who was already discarding his suede coat and hung it on the hanging rack beside the door.

"Uh, you weren't supposed to hear that," Y/N muttered, eyes never leaving George as he removed his watch after locking the door and placed it on the marble coaster below the rack.

Her breath hitched as George loosened the tie on his black shirt, removing it from his neck, "You still would want it, either way,"

George made his way to her, "I would be lying if I said I wouldn't want to use it on you."

And that was all it took before George had pushed his lips on hers, his hands immediately grabbing her arse and hoisting her to jump and wrap her legs around his torso. Y/N groaned to the kiss, as he felt herself being pushed towards the grey bed fixated on the centre of the room.

Her back felt the soft mattress, eyes never leaving George who was busy unbuttoning her shirt. Her hands travelled to his clothed cock, rubbing rather harshly the bulge restrained by his trousers. "Oh, Y/N," George moaned, hips involuntarily bucking to her touch. "Fuck," muttered, as his hands rushed in opening her blouse to dive his head on her chest, mouth immediately going for her breast as Y/N undid his belt and pushed his trousers down a bit.

George wasted no time, as he was busy sucking on her breast, his hands made its way to his trousers for him to push down and free himself from any restraint from his boxers or any piece of clothing.

A groan emitted from his lips as Y/N's hands wrapped around her pulsing dick, "Fucking hard for you, baby," George breathed as he bit on her swollen nipple. "Look what you've done to me."

Y/N moaned in response as George continued his actions, this time on the other breast, as George kneaded the now-discarded other. "Didn't know you'd want me to tie you up, really thought you were an innocent vanilla angel," George laughed at himself, hand gripping on her jaw to kiss her, "Clearly I was mistaken. You'd do anything for my cock, do you?"

"Yes, sir," Y/N mustered a response, eyes closing as George's mouth made its way to her neck, sucking and biting harshly that she was sure there'd be a hickey afterwards.

Y/N thinks whether it's in the alcohol that she had downed prior, or just the thought of the spreader bar on the floor, but she immediately flipped them both, George's back now on the mattress.

"What -" George was cut off immediately by a low groan as he felt Y/N's mouth take his erection inside her mouth. "Oh fuck, just like that, baby," George moaned, hand flying to Y/N's head and pushed her farther, wanting Y/N to gag on him.

"Such fucking - " he tried to form a sentence as he meets Y/N's eyes as she hollowed her cheeks more, as if she was tightening around George that moment. "You look so sexy as hell, baby. Sucking on your boss' cock like that, fucking taught you well." He groaned, guiding her head in such speed until Y/N swats his hand away.

George was dominant in bed, but seeing him very putty and just surrendering to the bliss knowing that she was the one doing it to him was very new to her. And she swears it was addicting. Hot, sexy, and addicting as hell.

"Y/N, stop, gonna come -" George cuts himself off with a long moan, his hands trying to push Y/N off from his dick, "Want to come inside of you, fucking - baby, please - "

Y/N must've heard nothing as she increased her pace, her hand now wrapping around his cock as she sucked on the head of his dick, earning a groan of pleasure from George which went straight to her dripping cunt.

"Not gonna last, fuck, Y/N!" he screamed, as he came inside her mouth in such huge amount. "You bloody minx," he says as he hoists himself up, the ecstasy of his high still not leaving him. "You think you could just disobey me like that?"

Y/N was about to response had George not pulled her skirt down along with her underwear, almost as immediately as he takes a hold of her left ankle to snap inside the cuff of the spreader bar. George tightened the cuff, eyes wandering over to Y/N for any signs of apprehension, only to receive a nod of approval. He went to hold the other ankle to do the same. Once he was finished with her ankles, he took a moment to ponder on whether he’d want her wrists to be cuffed as well.

“George -“

"Just thinking if I should cuff your hands," he raised his eyebrows at her, "Your hands get to be so touchy at times."

George decided to himself to let the following moments deem his verdict, Y/N almost shied away from George's entranced stare at her exposed body. "Hm, not too much wide for me," he muttered, clicking something on the bar which made Y/N's legs spread wider.

Y/N gasps as her legs spread wider, hands gripping on the bedsheet under her. George on the other hand, licked his lips as he was met with her pussy coated in her arousal, "That's more like it."

Shivers ran through her spine as she felt George run his fingers up and down her slit, jolting slightly at the light slap George had placed on her clit. George hummed, "Didn't even need to spit on this, holy shit."

He pushed her legs farther, her head almost of the same level with her ankles, "We're going to have fun, baby." he winked as he went down to her pussy, mouth immediately lapping on her wet cunt.

Y/N squealed George's name, hand desperately trying to reach George's hand, only to be held by his right hand to refrain her from reaching him. "Ah," he tutted, "I knew we would be needing these hands cuffed."

He hoisted himself up and cuffed her wrists on the spreader bar, reaching for his discarded necktie on the floor afterwards, "Will blindfold you, is that alright?"

She responded with an airy approval, heart almost thumping out of her chest. Her eyesight was then blacked out as she felt the fabric of George's necktie wrap around her head.

"This will heighten your senses, love."

"Okay,"

"If it gets too much, say 'red', alright?"

"Yes, I trust you, George."

George smiled in response, relieved Y/N wouldn't have to see his smile from what she had said. He went back to fully eating her out, three fingers instantly entering her pussy in such fast manner.

"Georgie," she managed to whine out. It was all pleasingly too much for her, his tongue swirling around her clit and his fingers move inside her walls. As Y/N was cuffed from any movement, all she was left to was receive all of his assaults on her sex.

Y/N's back arched, eyes squeezing shut behind the blindfold, "Oh, god, George -"

George received a faint gasp as he blew air on her cunt. Playfully going slow in going back to eating her out as if she was his last meal. Strings of George's name as well as continuous cuss words were all heard in the room, as well as the sinful, wet, skin-to-skin sounds from his fingers alone.

The ginger was already rutting his hips on the bed, for some sort of release in tension. All of Y/N's moans and groans were going straight to his cock, and when George felt her tightening around his fingers, a signal that she was close.

"George -"

"No, you're not coming yet."

He quickly pulled his fingers out, Y/N whining at the loss of contact. "But baby, how are we to enjoy this without my cock pushing into your dripping cunt, right?" he mused, instantly pushing his pelvis inside her, with Y/N screaming his name in response.

"Oh god, look at that -" George breathed, looking at where his dick is thrusting inside of her exposed pussy. "Look at how you are taking me so much, baby. Oh, wait, you can't really see how your stomach bulges from my cock, don't you?"

Her cheeks blushed at George's words, she couldn't help but relish in both pleasure and desperation. "Such a fucking slut, wanting George to use her anyway he pleases -" he groaned, halting in the fast paced thrusts to make hard and powerful ones which made Y/N moan as she felt the tip of his dick hitting her g-spot.

"Not to mention she wants George to use a spreader bar on her."

Y/N already felt herself coming yet again, and she almost curses George into oblivion when she feels him pulling out of her yet again. "George, what the fuck? Let me cum!" she whined.

"Damn, so desperate for it, aren't you?" George chuckled as he removed her blindfold, her eyes squinting at the sudden vision being slowly returned, being met with George's lust-blown eyes.

He removed the cuff on her hands, "Gonna try something," was all George said before he flipped Y/N on her stomach. He pushed her chin upwards to look at the mirror behind the headboard.

"Look at what I'm about to do to you, baby." He winked, getting a hold of her ass to put up in the air, her thighs kneeling on the bed. Y/N's lips trembled and drank in the sight of George, but then her face was soon met with the bed as her hands were pulled backwards to be cuffed beside her ankles. She couldn't help but feel turned on at such exposure and vulnerability.

"Good with this?" George asked her, leaning towards her ear to kiss her on the shell. "Yes," Y/N nodded.

"Good, 'cause I won't go easy on you."

George instantly slams into her from behind, both of them screaming each other's names out of pure bliss. "Oh, fuck, baby - tightening around my cock so well, I could fuck you for hours."

"George, George, George!" Y/N moaned, body trembling from the intense sensation, only to be driven over the edge as George's hand reached for her clit for him to play as his pussy was being thrusted in and out by his cock. George pushed his hips a bit more deeper, enabling him to reach a new angle, erupting a long, high moan from Y/N.

He took a hold of her hair, fisting it around his right hand, as he varied between his fast thrusts and powerful ones. It didn't take long enough before Y/N felt the familiar fire forming at the pit of her stomach once again.

"You're clenching around me, baby, are you going to come?"

"Yes, George, holy fuck!"

"Hm," he hummed, pulling her hair once more, "hold it."

"George, please, let me come, oh my god - please!"

"I said hold it, baby," he says, removing his hand from her hair to spank her ass cheeks. Y/N moaned in response, "God, George -"

"What's it with you today that makes it hard for you to follow orders? Fuck, shit, feels so good." George tries to say as he felt his own high approaching.

"No, George, I'm being a good gir - ah!" Y/N's body spams over George's intense fucking.

"Come, fuck, come now!" George ordered as he snaps along with Y/N, their cum being mixed together inside of her. George, feeling playful as ever, though both of them sensitive, had given three more slow, hard thrusts to Y/N's pussy, to which she winced, "No, no more."

George laughed and waited for her to come down from her high before pulling out of her. "Aw, and here I was thinking for a round two," he winked at her when their eyes met, "guess not, then."

He was about to stand up when a hand stopped him from doing so, "Wait," Y/N said, "you still have other toys to use on me."

"Baby," he cooed, kissing her on the temples, "we're just getting started."

[g0ldengubler]

i

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: (from wattpad): heyyy...how y'all doin? ugh i'm not too happy with the sex scene (even though i'm grateful that a friend of mine helped me with one of the paragraphs) but this is the best i can do right now with the mental state i'm in. pls bare with me with posting, my personal life has gone downhill so fast it's crazy. i wanted to get this up on halloween but it sadly didn't happen. i do apologize. but i hope ur excited for this fic! thank u so much for reading ilyyyyyyy :) (from tumblr): ok last post until tonight! sorry for the spam, i only had this so far so i thought why not throw it all on here now lol. but ok enjoy :)

Category: smut

CW: daddy kink; degradation (from both men to clover); penetration (female receiving); oral (m+f recieving and giving); drunk sex; praise kink; this chapter is not full of smut but you don't have to read the smut if you're uncomfortable

Word Count: 3235

positions | prologue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Clover's POV~

~Two Years Later~

It's been two years since I joined the team, and I've never felt more at home than I did on my first week. Luke, Spencer and I have been named, 'The Golden Trio' thanks to Penelope. We've been stuck like glue ever since I beat them in poker, like the best friends I always wanted but never had. Because of what happen when I was a kid, I always stayed close to my dad and never felt the need to make friends. Sure, I'd have people that I'd see 5 days a week at school, but nothing as close as we were. During our days off, we'd get drunk and have a poker night or a chess night, teaching Luke how to play but he never seemed to understand it, so we'd slowly switch to UNO or Cards Against Humanity.

Today, Halloween of all days, was just another paperwork day. Sure, being out in the field was exciting, saving American citizens like how Emily saved me, but I found relaxation in looking over files and sending my behavioral advice. Everything was calm in the office with everyone doing their work, and some days we'd watch a movie in the conference room or play games when we either got done with our work early or, as Garcia would say, "All serial killers have taken the day off. Maybe even went to therapy."

As I walked back to my desk after turning in the last of my files to Emily, Rossi came out of his office and stood at the railing. "Everyone," he announced, "I think it's safe to say that for the first in several years, we do not have a case on Halloween night!"

Everyone cheered, especially Spencer. Halloween was his favorite holiday, you learned. He was very passionate about its spooky nature by dressing up in a scary mask at work, before having to take it off because of a case. He would pout when he would see Emily, Rossi, or Garcia come out, telling the team that we had a case. This year, however, I noticed a grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear.

"In honor of that, I will be throwing a party at my house and you're all invited. But don't think you could run away from my grandmother's recipe!"

I turned over to Spencer, who's desk was right next to mine, a curious grin growing on my face. "So doc, what are you going to be for Halloween?"

He leaned back in his chair and looked over to me, his left elbow pressed against the armrest. "I was originally going to go as Tom Baker's Doctor Who since I still have the cosplay from when Garcia and I tried going to a convention, but with how my hair looks now, I think I'll go as a mad scientist or, if I want to be more specific, Einstein himself."

"I can see you dressing up as Einstein," I smiled, "Hell, you could even go as Dr.Emmett Brown, himself."

"Who?"

I looked back at him, jaw falling to my desk. "You know, from Back to the Future?"

He still looked confused.

"Don't worry about it, Clover," Luke said as he walked over and sat at the desk in front of me, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Now I'm curious about this movie." Spencer said, his curious face getting curiouser and curiouser.

"Maybe we can sneak away from the party tonight at some point and watch it." I wink at him and the two began chuckling.

"Those movie's are the closest to nerd I'll ever get." said Luke, which sparked Spencer's interest even more.

"So what are you going to be tonight, Kingsley?"

I looked over at him with a smirk."Oh, Alvez, THAT is a surprise."

~That Night~

"They did the monnnster mash!"

Music was coming from all over the backyard and in the house. Everyone from the BAU was dressed up in their spooky (or sexy...or cutest) best and was dancing the night away with champagne in their hands. I had walked in a little bit late compared to everyone else, which somehow Rossi didn't give me a sassy but funny remark about it. Rossi and Krystall dressed up as Bonnie and Clyde, Tara, along with Jj, Emily, and Garcia, went as nuns, and Matt went as Rickey while his wife, Kristy, was Lucy.

Luke ended up going as Magic Mike, not because he was full of himself, that was way out of line for him, but because the team would joke that he could become a stripper if he had to and played along. Spencer was, indeed, Albert Einstein. Garcia must've helped him with his hair, getting it to stick out like Einstein's and spraying gray hairspray in his hair. Both looked really good in their costumes, I couldn't complain.

I walked in as a sexy devil. I'm not scared to dress sexy when I could. I was comfortable in my body and I wasn't doing it to get someone's attention. I just love to feel myself from time to time, almost like a confidence boost if I needed it. I walked over to my two dudes and saw their eyes bulging out of their heads as they turned around to see. I was in a tight red crop top that showed off the girlies, with red short shorts, black fishnet tights, and red heels. I had horns on the top of my head thanks to a headband, and a tail that was attached to my shorts. The two were completely shocked, but were the respectful men that I always knew they were.

As the night went on, I was kind of getting bored. While I loved being surrounded by my coworkers turned family, I wanted to get wasted. It was Halloween night for crying out loud, but I didn't like being drunk in front of a lot of people. Even when I would go to the club, I would just have one drink and then dance with everyone on the dance floor. I didn't trust my drunk self, not physically but just how my personality changes. It embarrassed me to no end, so I only trusted a few people. Two of them, obviously, being Spencer and Luke.

At one point, I was sitting on the couch in the living room by myself. Luke and Spencer came in and sat down next to me, asking me if I was ok. When I explained to them what I was feeling, they both grinned in unison as they looked at one another, then back at me. I knew exactly what they were thinking, and they were in for it. We said goodbye to everyone, grabbed our coats, and headed out the door where we all met up at Luke's place.

When we walked in, Spencer and I sat on his couch getting Back to the Future ready while Luke made us all drinks. As we watched, we ended up leaving our glasses on the table and started taking turns drinking the vodka bottle, numb to the burning sensation. After taking the last shot in the bottle, I set it down and lay back against the back of the couch and blacked out, letting the alcohol take over my mind and body. The last thing I remember was leaning my head against Spencer's shoulder, while my feet were on Luke's lap...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clover was giggling on Spencer's shoulder as her foot slowly rubbed over Luke's lap. Luke shifted his position on the couch, trying not to notice what that was doing to him. Not like he had a foot fetish or anything, but the amount of friction caused his pants grow tighter by the minute. Spencer, who had never been this drunk before in his life, started playing with her hair as he moved his arm around her. Spencer could tell that she was just as drunk as he was, but he didn't expect her to lay her hand on his chest, playing with the necklace he had around his neck. He tried to focus his attention to Back to the Future III, but once she started playing with the gold piece of metal with her mouth, he couldn't help but to look down at her, her eyes never leaving his.

He looked over to Luke, who had moved Clover's foot over and started palming himself  through his pants. Spencer quickly looked away, trying not to give in to his own urges. He moved his focus back to Clover, who's eyes were still locked on him. Before he could do anything, she let go of the necklace and began to slowly move her hand down Spencer's chest.

"I know why Luke moved my foot away," she whispered as her hand gently fell on his lap. She moved her fingers ever so lightly over the bulge that was growing in his pants. She had also moved her foot back onto to Luke's bulge, rubbing over it softly.

The two looked at each other, almost in confusion at first. But then, they silently agreed that they were up for it, as Clover clearly was as well. Luke moved her foot off of it and stood up, pausing the movie as Spencer moved her hand out of the way and lifted her head up as he started to get up. He takes her hand and helps her up, grabbing Luke's hand before wobbling their way into his room. She jumped onto the bed as Spencer shut the door, letting the light from the moon and street lamps illuminate the room. The two stood in front of her before she motioned her finger for them to come over.

"You're one hell of a brat, Kingsley." Luke slurred as the two quickly walked over to her, plopping down on either side of her on the bed.

Clover leans in and kisses Luke while Spencer went for her neck, cupping her left breast and massaging it. The touch alone had a moan leave her lips and into Luke's as he moved his tongue on her bottom lip, asking for entrance. As their tongues melded together, Spencer moved the fabric of her top over and took her breast out of the cup of her bra, leaning in and began licking her nipple before taking the whole thing in his mouth sucking it. Clover broke the kiss and let out a whimper, which made both men chuckle as she leaned both of her arms behind her on the bed for support.

Luke looks over to Spencer as he lets go of her breast and looks up to Luke. "Do you think she'll stop being a brat if we do something like this?" Luke asks before moving his fingers down to her core, rubbing over her shorts. Clover bites her lip to hold in a gasp, which Luke wasn't too pleased by.

"Are you going to behave, little one?" Spencer asks as he plays with the waistband of her shorts, his lips ghosting her cheek.

Clover nods, still holding in a moan just from being touched.  Luke grabs ahold of her jaw and quickly turns her face to look at him. "Use your words, princesa."

"Please," she whines.

Spencer has Clover buck her hips as he pulled her shorts and tights off of her. They notice how turned on she was on her panties and both lean in, biting and sucking on either side of her neck. Spencer's fingers linger the inside of her thighs while Luke went back to rubbing her through the cloth. She moves her hips against his fingers, begging for more.

"You were such a tease just a few minutes ago, and now look at you. So helpless and needy in a matter of seconds." says Spencer in between kisses.

Hearing that made Clover take her panties off in a swift, but quick, motion. She couldn't take it anymore, she needed their touch.

"Eager little girl, aren't you?" Luke chuckled.

It took a minute for her to realize that Spencer went straight in, sticking two fingers inside her and pumping slowly while Luke rubbed her pussy. Her brain had turned into mush full of pleasure that when they went in, she couldn't help but let out a loud moan. They sped up their movements, making her let out a silent scream.

"Fuck, daddy!" She gasped out.

The two were shocked, but didn't complain about the name. "Which one of us is daddy, kitten?" Spencer asked.

"You can't think straight, can you?" Luke asked.

Clover pulls Spencer in by his tie while pulling Luke in at the same time by his belt. "Shut up," she says breathy, "just shut up and fuck me."

"Don't go back to being a brat now," says Luke finally after a moment of silence, "You are going to behave or you'll be punished. And I don't think you'll like what we'll do."

Spencer continues to finger her quickly and deeply, curling his fingers as he hit her gspot every time while Luke rubs faster on her clit. Clover falls onto the bed as wave of pleasure hit her like a train.  She closed her walls around Spencers fingers, getting closer and closer to release as he sped up his pace even more.

"Cum for me, little girl, I want you cum so hard on daddy's fingers."

Spencer connects his lips back to her neck as she screamed, letting the waves of pleasure shoot through her body. Luke rubs her slowly to let her ride out her orgasm as Spencer pulls his fingers out and sticks them in his mouth. The way he cleaned her off made her ache all over again, wanting more and more. She didn't want this to end; This was the most pleasure she's ever had.

Luke looks over as Spencer finished devouring her, removing his fingers from his mouth with a small pop. "She tastes so sweet."

Without a single word, Luke gets off the bed and kneels in front of it, pulling Clover by her knees closer to him. As Spencer started making out with her, Luke dives right in between her thighs, licking a single thick stripe up her core, making her moan through the kiss. As their tongues fought like swords in their mouths, Spencer starts to unbuckle his belt and pulled his pants with his boxers in a swift motion, letting his cock spring free. Before it could hit his stomach, however, she grabs onto it with her left hand and starting pumping him slowly. He groans into her mouth before breaking apart, watching her stroke his aching cock.

"Please, daddy. I need your cock so bad fUCK!"

Neither of the two knew who she was talking to, but they did know that it didn't matter. Luke gets up from the floor and takes his costume off while Spencer moved his position so that his knees were on the bed. Clover moves up a bit so that Luke could get back on. The two pump themselves a few times before they pushed themselves in. She took Spencer's cock in her mouth as Spencer grabs a handful of her hair, slowly pushing her down as Luke thrust. As soon as she was comfortable of their size, Luke began thrusting slowly. Clover moaned and grind against him, begging for more, which he happily obliged. Spencer groaned under his breath when she moaned, making him buck his hips forward, shoving his cock down her throat. She gagged on it, tears piercing her eyes.

Clover was at this moment, and maybe even every moment after this, beneath them. Spencer and Luke were exercising their rights to dominate, belittle, and humiliate her. Her holes were filled as her mind quickly unraveled from the rush of pleasure from every minute pulsation. She couldn't even follow their taunts anymore, and the only bit of rationale that she could muster was to be the best sex doll for her two dominators. Her pussy ached for more punishment as they admonished her sloppy performance. She moaned hungrily as she was ravaged, playing the broken slut; no, she was their broken slut. Eagerly enjoying their obvious amusement.

The knot in her stomach was getting tighter and tighter again. She knew Luke was just edging her, making her wait to cum until he was ready. He looked to Spencer, who was holding on for dear life, almost getting into some sort of sub space of his own as the look on his face was begging for release. Clover felt both of their cocks twitch inside her, letting her know they were close.

"Cum for us, princesa," Luke growls, "just one more time for daddy. I know you want to, baby."

Clover turned into a screaming, moaning mess as she came all over Luke's cock, making a huge mess on the bed. That was the last straw for the two men, as they both released inside her, filling her over the edge. The two pulled themselves out, Spencer laying next to Clover (who was showing him that she swallowed every last drop of him) while Luke watched his cum pool out from her, enjoying the view before he lay on the other side of her. Clover wiggled her arms through theirs, focusing on something to cuddle her way into. Spencer quickly grabbed tissues from his side of the bed and cleaned her up.

"You did so good, Clover." says Spencer. He throws the used tissues away in the waste bin beside him and turns back to see tears prickling from her eyes again. "Ssh ssh, it's ok," he coos as he wraps his arms around her. Spencer's soft praises mixed with Luke's gentle hand playing with her hair helped her come back down from the cloudy headspace she was in. She felt cared for and safe with them comforting her.

Clover snuggles into Spencer as Luke's arm wrapped around her waist, spooning behind her. Spencer kissed the top of her head as she nestled her head on his chest, letting the sleepiness that alcohol gave take over them.

As she drifted off to sleep, Clover hoped that she wouldn't forget this perfect night.

[nightswithkookmin]

hi goldy!! ❤️❤️ do you think during some break up periods jikook tried to be with other people?

This question...

Lol. I mean... if you count Jimin's Paris girls and JK's tattoo girl as other people lol. I don't.

Unless you mean other people within BTS? In which case, don't mind if I silently judge you. Lol.

I don't like speculating on persons outside of BTS because it's their private life and they didn't sign up for this. Plus it can be very invasive and my conscience just won't let me...

But I don't think Jimin moves on that easily or quickly from a breakup to be honest. He values human relationships and connections with other people and has a very high emotional intelligence quotient to resort to 'using' others to fix his emotional problems.

He cares about others' feelings and how his actions impact them emotionally- I mean did you see him turn to Kook to ask if Kook was ok with him saying he liked him on camera during one of their logs in the early days?

He is awfully self aware in the way that he conducts himself around people. It's why I smirk when people say he 'harasses' JK often and that JK doesn't like him being all over him. Believe me, Jimin doesn't do anything JK whipped ass don't enjoy. And when he seem like he is pushing JK's boundaries a tad bit much or smothering JK, it's usually him teasing JK and JK knows it. They both have a way of using things that make eachother uncomfortable to tease eachother and I don't think they both mind- I think people need to stop acting like Jikook abuse eachother when they tease eachother.

They abuse eachother alright- in bedroom huh! Lol. Sorry. Couldn't help it. Lmho.

The best example I can give you of this is these two recent Run episodes. If you pay attention to the sequence of events and the progression of Jikook's interactions, you would notice how JM was trying a little bit harder to interact with JK in the beginning of the episode and JK kept pulling away to enforce his boundaries?

But when JM noticed JK wasn't open to recieve and reciprocate those advances he was making he sort of backed away immediately. As such, towards the end of episode 116 and throughout 117 you could see JM respecting those boundaries JK was putting up with him. As such, he would reserve himself and would move past JK and offer his hug to the other members instead- out of respect for Kook, not spite. Mind you.

I think he is more likely to try and fix his relationship with Kook than to rebound with other people or try to be with other people knowing full well he still has feelings for Kook. Listen, Jimin is not letting go of his feelings for Kook anytime soon. He is too deep in it. I mean this is the person who's said when he falls in love he wants it to be forever. He is not letting JK go anytime soon.

This is the person who keeps reiterating how he wants to be with BTS as a group forever. He values connections and is sentimental about them. He is sentimental about JK and he values his connection with JK.

Besides, JM has friends and emotionally fulfilling relationships outside of his relationship with Kook that he consciously waters and nurtures. So often when he goes through a Kook withdrawal there are people there to offer him that emotional support. In my opinion. Lol.

I can't say same for Kook. He is naturally emotionally closed off and it takes time for him to let people in but once he does he tends to keep those connections forever too. I think. I mean, he is an introvert and people like that prefer keeping a close knit circle of friends made of one or two people they are intimately or closely attached to rather than maintaining a wider circle of friends.

You don't need me to tell you that Jimin is his circle within the circle. Lol.

It seems also that he doesn't consciously go out of his way to nurture connections with people outside of his close circles the way JM does. Especially if you hear the members talk about how he takes an entire year to return text messages, how he doesn't even see the importance of going out of his way to wish his bandmates a happy birthday on social when everyone else is doing it, how he doesn't bother to gift others presents on their birthday except for the one person within the group he is emotionally attached to.

How he's had a falling out with Tae over the years but didn't even bother to make a conscious effort to fix things with him leaving Tae with no choice but to passive aggressively shade him for it throughout the years- complaining about getting used to JK ignoring him behind cameras and what not.

Jk is very selective about who and which relationship he goes out of his way to nurture and give his energy to unlike JM. I think it's partly due to the differences in their personality as an introvert and extrovert but also due to the differences in their upbringing and the environment they each grew up in but let's not get into that today. Lol.

Very often when JK is going through a JM withdrawal it hits him the hardest I think. Unlike JM, I don't think he has other emotional support systems in place to fall on? 2018 was it? Remember when he was going through a hard time in that period and he shut out the members but would jump on Social to interact with Army? Why do that if there were people in his life to offer that level of emotional support and fulfillment for him?

Tae is like that too. Remember how he said to JK during their Soop conversation that he was posting much more frequently on Weverse because he wasn't feeling loved and wanted reassurance? Why do that if he had that level of emotional support in his life?

He brought that up because on some level he knew JK could relate among other things. In my opinion.

I mean did you hear Blue and Grey? Yet people swear up and down he is in a relationship with a boy in BTS- must be a very emotionally unfulfilling relationship that doesn't meet his need for reassurance and validation in a romantic relationship. Smirk.

I think JK starts seeking out other connections and tries to nurture them so they provide the emotional connection he needs in periods when he is going through a such hard times without Jimin-but the moment he gets good with JM he's gonna forget those connections ever existed lol.

I think that's what had happened with Tae in On era and the tattoo girl as well... Were they dating? I know they weren't. I know JK wasn't having sex with her simply because she would have screwed him over far worse than she did in the aftermath of the scandal. Lmho.

I mean home girl tried on the whole gender ambiguity look for a hot minute there when she was hanging out with JK but ditched that look real fast the moment she realized JK was never gonna pick her- these pick me gals I swear!

She went from expressing herself as overtly tomboyish to a much rather toned down stereotypically feminine gal in a flash in the aftermath of the scandal? Chileee I'm gonna get in trouble. Lol.

The hair cut, the baggy clothes, the boyish appearance- probably knew JK was attracted to genderly ambiguous people. Cough, cough Jimin and so tried to appear more genderly ambiguous within that period to fit in as a one of the guys? Know what I mean? It's just my opinion and I feel bad for voicing it out loud this way.

She could have been experimenting with her looks and identity and all that jazz- she has every right to present herself whatever way she wants honestly and gender is not defined by the clothes you wear and frankly it's none of my business. Chilee.

It's just crazy to me how she kept saying she didn't want to cause trouble with Army blah blah blah which is why she had chosen to stay quiet about the scandal when it first started but then later she changed her tone and started liking posts and comments that said she and JK were a thing. Smirk.

I mean for someone who had said she didn't want to harm the reputation of JK in the beginning of the scandal and didn't want trouble with Army and so had chosen to stay out of the issue, she sure suddenly had started fanning the flames of the scandal later on and her shop would eventually post a statement about the scandal- on JM's birthday. Coincidence? I think the fuck not.

If you ask me, I think her and the shop knew exactly what they were doing with that one. They both wanted to hurt JK if you ask me. They are Koreans and they know just how much scandals hurt the business and reputations of idols. So for them to keep at it even when that scandal had died down...

And I know some people believe someone from her shop had leaked the photos etc- this is where I insert my BigHit conspiracy theory- BigHit don dunnit! Lol. That scandal came at a time too convenient for a company scared people were going to find out two of its talents were dating. Y'all know my theory on that so I'll just rest it.

This is the same campany that calls paparazzi on its talents and arranges for tabliods to meet and take photos of the boys and write articles about them as and when it so pleases them. I'm not just talking about Dispatch- if you know you know.

I think they have their own people following these boys around just to keep an eye on them to avoid heavy scandals. They definitely knew what JK and JM were up to during their vacation and when they realised there was a much bigger scandal on the way they conducted this tattoo girl and Paris girls scandal to mitigate that.

Listen, BigHit has been through a much severe scandal with their earlier band before BTS. That scandal literally crippled the company- allegedly, had it not been for BTS and so when I tell you they do not joke with scandals involving their artists. You bet your ass they have their eyes on the boys. All the time. They ain't about to let another major scandal cripple their empire.

I mean, even in the recent BE conference they held, they had to film the Q&A session offline- probably didn't want a repeat of the media embarrassing BTS like they did with the plagiarism scandal. Jk's cheeky smirk. Lmho.

Would explain why both the shop and the girl in question also felt used by the company and JK later on. The shop was expecting compensation from BigHit for using them in that way it seemed- read their statement you'll understand what I mean. And the girl perhaps also thought she was gonna get to be with JK as consolation price- yea, no. Sorry dear. JK don'troll like that.

It is why later they tried taking vengeance on both JK and the company with those moves they made. In my opinion. Lol.

From a legal perspective, BigHit had every right to sue the shop for breach of privacy on behalf of JK because the shop owed that duty to JK being their client. They had a duty to protect the privacy of their clients and so it's funny how the shop turned around claiming BigHit was the one that owed them compensation or whatever. Chileee. Messy, messy, messy.

I really don't want to get deep into that whole conversation and so kindly read between the lines... got it? Good. Lol.

Anywho, JK has a tendency to latch on to people when he is in an emotionally vulnerable state. In the group it is often Tae or Jin, Suga or Hobi in my opinion.

Honestly I prefer he does that than shut everyone out.

This tendencies of his is why I keep saying he has the most boundaries in BTS- emotional boundaries I mean. Jimin is a nurturer and to nurture people you have to be willing to be emotionally open, attached and vulnerable with others. Whereas JK is not a nurturer like that so naturally he is much emotionally closed off.

He simply latches on to people when he is going through a tough time or shuts himself up completely for self preservation. In my opinion.

What I am trying to say is, i don't think either of them have both been with other people during times they weren't together because usually they don't stay broken up for that long- long enough for either one of them to form any meaningful attachments outside of eachother.

I can't say same for sex though- shit only takes a few minutes. But judging from the way they behave when either one of them does skinship with even members they consider family, I don't think either one of them have had sex outside of eachother. That would devastate them and lead to much dire repercussions such as each of them developing trust issues and severe insecurities- they are insecure about eachother as it is and they haven't been seeing other people. Chilee.

If JK as much as have sex with another person even if they are broken up Jimin would literally die. I'd laugh but I don't think it's funny.

As for JK... sigh. Let's just say he is going to raise hell on us all if Jimin should do that. Forget the Corona Virus, forget the apocalypse- JK would bring the world to an untimely end. Deadass.

I hope this helps?

Keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Signed,

GOLDY.

[amelink66world]

Love of my Life

Heyy Guys!! This is my first time writing a fanfiction and I'm really nervous. But I'm so excited to share my version of AmeLink with y'all. I hope you like it. The story will solely revolve around AmeLink cause why not?! ;)

               Many of the plot lines coincide with the show but I've changed some of them. The first chapter will be up by tomorrow so until then!!

Alternative Pain Relief

It was too much for Amelia to stay in Seattle. She had just lost Betty and came to know that Teddy was in fact pregnant with the father being none other than Owen. On top of that Owen said some pretty hurtful things at the lawyer's office when they went to sign Leo's adoption papers. She couldn't even comprehend that such a thing could come out of the mouth of the man who she considered to be the love of her life. There is some fundamental part of you that is incapable of love or being loved. It caused her too much heartache. She needed a change of pace for a few days.

   

    So here she was in San Diego attending The Western States' Conference for Alternative Pain Relief. She could really use some pain relief right now and drugs were not an option! She wanted some change. She even cut her long brown tresses. Her hair was really short now, it ended just a few inches above her shoulders. She asked Bailey for a few days off, packed her bags and flew to San Diego as soon as she heard about the conference. She thought she kind of looked sexy in pant suit and earrings. She generally doesn't dress up but she she wanted to feel good today. Currently Amelia with a list of the sessions she was interested to attend was trying to find where the line to register her name was.

Amelia's PoV :

My God, there are so many sessions I can attend! Now which shall I attend first? The next generation NSAIDS panel sounds appealing. Now where is the registration line?! I never thought so many people attended these conferences. Finally giving up on my search I tap the shoulder of a tall, muscular man in a grey suit in hopes of asking where the freaking line was!

" Excuse me, is this the line...Heyy!!..", I trail off as soon as the person I asked turned and revealed his face. It was Link !! What is he doing here ?! My life is so damn awesome! The one person I was trying to avoid in the hospital apart from Owen is here !!

" Heeyy!! What are you doing here??", Link says while chuckling. There is shock evident on his face. Both of us didn't imagine running into each other here.

I forgot I had to speak. Recovering from my shock I scramble for words. " Uhhh..." I look here and there to say something and the banner of the conference comes into view. Finally finding my voice, I say pointing to the banner, " Like the banner says Western States' Conference for Alternative Pain Relief".

" I didn't know you were into this stuff", says Link.

" Yeah I'm not. I mean...I'm interested ever since that day of the mass overdose." Ughh why did I have to mention that day?! Stupid.

Link's expression changes to that of understanding.

"Yeah tough day" , he says with sadness.

" Yes. I cried at you...convulsively. You might recall?"

" I haven't seen you around much since then", Link says with creases on his forehead asking a silent question.

" Yeah that was intentional. It's hard to know where to go after that" He understands and chuckles. I can't help but chuckle along with him. Changing the subject I finally ask him why he is here." Anyway I'm newly into this stuff. How about you?"

"Uh I do like three of these a year. I'm giving um... a lecture." , he says sheepishly.

"WOW!!" I'm shocked. I can't help but stare at his face while he speaks. This is the first time I'm seeing him in something other than scrubs. I can say that he is definitely not hard on the eyes!! The fact that he gives a lecture on this stuff does not help either. I suddenly feel the same Pants Feelings I felt when I first saw him walking around the hospital with that funny looking robotics arm. " When is that?"

" Tomorow. But right now I was gonna hit up this acupuncture demo. Interested? " Again I catch myself staring.  FOCUS!!

" Well I'm headed to this next generation NSAIDS panel. No. But you know what? I think I'd rather get poked." Wait. That sounded wrong. I hurriedly add, "...with needles." I catch a gleam in his eyes. I sigh, "Nevermind. I'm gonna keep avoiding you. Have a nice time". And I take off when I hear him laughing. Stupid stupid stupid. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? I just had to make a fool of myself. Ughh. I look above silently asking God why didn't He give me a filter? I whisper " Oh my God " 

I completely miss Link laughing and the playful look on his face after my ramble when he turned to look at my retreating form.

1 hour later :

Amelia is seriously thinking why she didn't just accompany Link. The NSAIDS panel was so damn boring. She is now headed to something called Sound Bathing.

         A woman leads her to a dark room with numerous makeshift beds on the floor. There were numerous people on the beds. She saw a woman in a white dress sitting in front of what appeared to be a giant instrument. She occupied the bed closest to her. As soon as she turned her head to see the person next to her, she was left speechless again. There he was! In his perfect physique and perfect clothes lying right next to her !! ' Seems like the Gods are not in my favour today! ', she thought.

" Oh. Huh. Okay. Well hello again", she says with a nervous chuckle.

Link turned her way. He really seemed to enjoy her nervousness and asked her all the while chuckling,  " You want me to move?"

" No! No of course not."  Thank God. Link didn't want to move either. He was actually enjoying Amelia's company.

Link closed his eyes and laid back down. She couldn't help but ask after a few awkward seconds. " So what does this do? "

" The frequencies respond to the energy meridians and resonate..." She doesn't let him finish and interrupts him whilst chuckling nervously, " Oh okay. Energy meridians. Oh my God. " She lays back down. He lays down too but says, " You're not supposed to talk"

She laughs and says, " Yeah I'm not supposed to be here." She gets up halfway when suddenly the woman in the white dress starts playing the instrument. Amelia lays back down hearing the sound. It piques her interest. Link slightly smiles and stares at her face for a few seconds thanking God that she decided to stay. He really was liking her company!

After the Sound Bath :

Amelia finally is comfortable around Link.

" Can I walk you back to your room? ", Link asks hoping she'd say yes. He didn't want to say goodbye to her yet.

" Yeah why not", she says with a smile. Link just stares at her smiling face for a few seconds and nods. They reach her floor. All the while Amelia felt a bit wobbly on her feet. They were making small talk when she suddenly asks, " Did that make you dizzy? Like loopy?" Still wobbly on her feet.

Link looks at her antics and answers while shrugging, " No. It just kinda chilled me out."

With a hint of playfulness, Amelia says, " I feel like I need a meeting. Ooofff. Hey could we sit for a second Link?"

" Yeah. Yeah sure. Let me just find a place..." Link immediately begins searching for a chair or a place for her to sit and trails off when he suddenly finds her sitting right there on the floor with the wall supporting her. He just stands there for a second looking at her. After a few moments he joins her on the floor with the wall behind him supporting their backs. He waits for her to speak.

" Sorry I'm falling apart here."

" No need to apologize", he smiles.

She looks content. Even Amelia doesn't know what prompted her to open up to Link. Was it his warm eyes or welcoming smile or just his calm personality, she didn't know. She told him everything about Betty. How she was an addict and she took her in to help her. She got emotionally attached to her but then her parents came back and she had to say goodbye to her. She told him she missed her and worried about her still. All the while Link was patiently and attentively listening to her.

She thought Link is judging her when he said..." You sound like a...". She yet again interrupted him and completed his sentence for him with a silent question, " A mess? "

"No! A parent. "  His answer shocked her and she turned her face to look at him properly. There was a level of softness in his eyes and a knowing and warm smile on his face while he was telling her about his mother worrying about him when he went to college just like Amelia is worrying about Betty.

They continue staring at each other. Amelia's gaze travels to his entire face. Link is observing her looking at him. Suddenly she says, " My God. You are just chiseled." This makes Link laugh loudly. She continues, " ...like a statue. It's like your chin has muscles." She leans slightly forward to stare at his chin properly. Link is chuckling and playfully says, " Well I do work out my chin pretty hard. It takes a whole day!" It makes her laugh.

Suddenly they feel like a spell has been cast on them and they can't look away from each other. They continue staring at each other and feel themselves inching closer. When their lips are just slightly away from each other, Amelia turns her head. Link is slightly disappointed that he didn't get to kiss her beautiful mouth. Amelia is a bit nervous and says with a soft smile on her face, " I should go to my room."

" And I should go..." Link trails off looking at her expectantly hoping Amelia would say what he wants her to say. Instead she says with a knowing smile on her face, "...to your room"

Link is disappointed but understands. They both get up from the floor. " You have a presentation tomorrow and I am not fit for human contact. " She hopes he would understand though she herself is not that happy with her decision but she knows it is the right one.

"See you in the morning?", he asks hopefully.

"Yeah. Goodnight.", she smiles.

" Night." He looks at her retreating form longingly for a few long moments. She turns and they share an eye contact briefly and they both turn heading their separate ways.

They keep running into each other both intentionally and unintentionally and engage in heavy flirting for the rest of the conference. They just can't help themselves as they are obviously very attracted to each other. Soon it is time for Link's speech. Her presence brings a smile to his face and stops for a second to admire her. When he continues with his speech, he knows many will be hurt with his course of treatment but continues anyway. Midway he finds Amelia leaving as she is obviously offended. He is highly disheartened as she didn't get to hear the good part before judging him.

He goes back to her room after his lecture in the hope of redeeming himself. He knocks on her door and moments later comes face to face with her. She is initially very rude to him and accused him of failing and costing a child his life. Link is hurt and tells her the rest of the story how he left medicine for a year and is now back and trying to do everything he can to fix the system.

"...maybe we can fight this thing together like Batman and...Batman." This seems to do the trick and her gaze finally softens. She smiles and takes a step towards him. " Okay "

" So you're not mad at me anymore? 'Cause it looked like you wanted go hit me for a second ", he says this sheepishly.

" I've got a bit of a hair trigger which can be scary." She smiles and apologizes for her behaviour. " I'm sorry. I've been in a weird place these days."

" I can roll with weird ", he flirts. He doesn't want to part with her yet and asks her out to dinner. He notices her eyes glazing over when she steps closer and says " Yes". But soon denies and kisses him full on the lips.

Link is astonished for a second. He feels that electrifying spark between them in that kiss that jolts through his entire body. He hungrily kisses her back. He wraps his arms around her waist and brings her body closer to his. He had been wanting to do that since the minute he saw her rambling the day before.

Amelia doesn't know what came over her. She just knew that she wanted to kiss him. No. She had to kiss him. She needed to kiss him. She wraps her arms around his neck when she feels him pulling her body closer to his by grabbing her slim waist.

He slides his hand up her back eliciting a moan from her all the while kissing her desperately when she feels him pulling back slightly. She stares at him questioningly and prays that he doesn't back out. She really needed him close to her. He rests his forehead against hers briefly before answering.

" I feel like I'm taking advantage ",he says with his eyes downcast.

" Why? "

" Because you're in a place and I think you're insanely pretty." This seals the deal. Now she knows that she isn't doing anything wrong.

" The feeling is mutual" , she smiles her charming smile. His eyes glaze over and he stares at her mouth hungrily when she moves her hands from around his neck and starts unbuttoning his coat and removes it. It drops on the floor when he leans down and captures her parted lips. He kisses her hungrily and brings her body even closer to his if that is possible, all the while Amelia was hurriedly unbuttoning his shirt.

She lets go of his shirt and wraps her hands around his neck again when her pulls her closer. They kiss vigorously when she pulls back. She just had to say this one thing. It is now Link's turn to look at her questioningly. Amelia doesn't want complicated now. She is done with messy.

" This isn't going anywhere. It's just alternative pain relief. "

" I could use some of that ", he says with a sultry smile.

Link leans in and bites her lower lip. They start kissing as if their life depended on it. He slowly starts backing her up towards the bed. She now pushes his shirt over his shoulders and it slides down. Link picks her petite body up in his muscular arms and lowers them on the bed never breaking their kiss. He pins her small body on the bed with his big bulky one and moves down to her neck eliciting a moan from her.

Their aerobic alternative pain relief continued till the  wee hours of the morning until both of them tired each other out and succumbed to blissful sleep in each other's arms. Both had content smiles on their faces excited for the future and the experiences that behold them.

Author's Notes:

Hey guys!! So this was the end of the first chapter. I remember that I said I'll post it tomorrow but I just couldn't wait!!! It's a bit long and I hope you really like it. Please share your thoughts in the comments!! I'd really like to know whether I should continue this story or not. The next chapter will be up in a few days. I just have so many ideas for AmeLink! Can't wait ;)

[dr-archeville]

Why Is All of This Happening Right Now?

Everything you need to know this morning

Thank you to this week's sponsor, Habitat for Humanity.  Their trucks are up and running again to pick up your donations. Check out their website for the new safety protocols they put in place.

Support the INDY Press Club: Better Journalism for a Better Community

It's Monday, October 5.

Hey y'all,

HOO BOY. This was a weekend and a half in the news department. There is a canonical Twitter post from the account @Horse_ebooks which reads, "Everything happens so much." Every few months, something insane happens and someone retweets it into my feed, but honestly, everything is happening so much at a rate we previously could not have conceived of. Full disclosure, I'm writing this at 9:00 p.m. on Sunday night, so if anything insane happens between me writing this and you reading it and I was not able to update this newsletter, sorry in advance. I usually wouldn't mention that, it's just that, well, everything is happening so much.

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Trump Is Fine, Oh Wait He's Actually Not Fine, Anyways The White House Just Released a Picture of Him Signing a Blank Piece of Paper

On Friday at about one in the morning, President Donald Trump announced that he and First Lady Melania Trump had tested positive for coronavirus. In all likelihood, you know this already. It is the only thing that many people have been able to think about. It's the only thing I've been able to think about, save for the blissful period when the NBA finals have been on (if any of you know Jimmy Butler please tell him I believe they can beat the Lakers no matter how good LeBron James and Anthony Davis are). Much like when coronavirus first hit, it's very obvious that history is happening before our eyes, but there's no playbook for how you're supposed to feel about it all, let alone what you're supposed to actually do. Since Friday's newsletter hit your inbox, the following things occurred:

Donald Trump walked onto a helicopter which took him to Walter Reed hospital, waiting until the markets closed on Friday but leaving before there was a possibility that he might not be able to walk.

Later, it came out that he'd been running a 103 degree fever and was put on oxygen while still in the White House, and had been asking his aides if he was "going out like Stan Chera," a friend of his who'd gone into the hospital with COVID-19 and had never come out.

On Saturday, one of Trump's doctors at Walter Reed gave a press conference during which he evaded reporters' questions and said that the president was feeling so good he could leave the hospital right now if he wanted to. Then, moments later, a senior Trump advisor, reportedly Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, directly contradicted what the doctors had just said when he told reporters off-record that the president was "still not on a clear path to a full recovery."

Later, one of Trump's aides went on Fox News and implied that the president's doctors had lied to the press because Trump was watching them on TV from inside the hospital.

On Saturday, the White House released a video of Trump in the hospital saying he felt fine, as well as two photos of the president allegedly doing work. I say "allegedly" because in one of them, Trump is very clearly signing a blank piece of paper. Yesterday, Trump put out another video in which he said he "learned a lot about COVID," and then got in a car and waved to his supporters outside Walter Reed.

So how is Trump actually doing? Why has he been getting experimental coronavirus treatments in Walter Reed if he's doing so great? And who's in charge of the country right now? Those are all great questions, and no one inside Trump's orbit has given the world straight answers to any of them.

OH YEAH ALSO, it came out that a bunch of high-powered Republicans also have the coronavirus and that they all probably got it at a White House event honoring Trump's Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett. Corona-havers in Trump's orbit include former New Jersey governor Chris Christie, Kellyanne Conway, RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel, Trump campaign manager Bill Stepien, and North Carolina's very own, Senator Thom Tillis.

Thom Tillis! Isn't He in a Tight Race with Cal Cunningham Right Now? What's Cal Cunningham Been Up to Lately, Anyways?

Hahaha jk, we all know what Cal Cunningham has been up to. Getting caught up in a sexting scandal is what he has been up to.

Literally hours after Tillis was all like "Hey what's up everybody I've got coronavirus" on Friday, a little-known conservative news site called National File published what it claimed were intimate text messages between Cal Cunningham and a woman who is not his wife.

Shortly after the news broke, Cunningham admitted he had sent the texts and issued a public apology.

But as our own Leigh Tauss put it, Cunningham "sexts like a dishtowel."  

Questions worth asking: How did these texts leak? And how did they find their way into the hands of a reporter for some random conservative news site, and how did they manage to publish a story about all of this on the same night that Thom Tillis's coronavirus diagnosis was made public? No matter what the answers to those questions are, the North Carolina Democratic Party really needs to do a better job of vetting its candidates if they're going to force seemingly boring centrists on us.

While Cunningham seemed to be pulling slightly ahead of Tillis in the leadup to Election Day, the one-two punch of Tillis's diagnosis and Cunningham's infidelity has rendered the trajectory of this race truly unknowable.

Statewide COVID-19 by the numbers: Sunday, October 4

610 New lab-confirmed new cases (217,496 total; seven-day average trending upward)

20,964 Completed tests (3.16 million total; most recent positive rate was 6.6 percent)

907 Current hospitalizations reported (seven-day average holding steady; 3,634 total deaths)  

Quick Hits  

Jobs? What jobs? No jobs here. [TechWire]

At last, the Pope has said that capitalism is bad. [WRAL]

No Halloween on Franklin Street this year. [News & Observer]

An inmate in the North Carolina correctional system has died of COVID-19. [Associated Press]

Should there be a casino near Kings Mountain? There are cases for yes, and there are cases for no. [NC Policy Watch]

If you've ever wanted to see what a 1600 pound pumpkin looks like, well, there was a 1600 pound pumpkin in Spring Hope over the weekend. [WRAL]

Today's weather: Sunny, "fall weather" kind of weather. High of 73 and a low of 48.

Song of the day: "Everything Hits at Once" by Spoon

Given everything that's been happening lately, it was only right to tell y'all about a song with a title like this. Plus, it's a pretty good song!

— Drew Millard — Send me an email | Find me on Twitter

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[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 14 notes

TO CLARIFY IN THIS SESSION AERANA DID N O T TOUCH ADAM’S BUTT SHE SLAPPED HIM AT THE NOTION AND IT’S A GOOD THING HE TOOK 11 DAMAGE AERANA HAS NO REGRETS also am i sorry for this format ? eh not really anymore

• Sylvia's siblings r screaming 

• Dom broke his brother's headphones

•  oh god we're starting but I'm still trying to fROST MY CAKE

• Yava I think her name is is like ok gonna join y'all

• Adam's racist

• GUESS EVERYONE HATES DROWS LMFAO

• Yava hates drows?

• Yava's gonna help protect the house

• I currently cannot breathe because there is a dirty diaper being changed around me and it is

• Aerana theo and asyna r downstairs

• Adam busts down the door and tells asyna to cook

○ Pushing yava into our house

○ "hi everyone this is yava this is my bard teacher she's gonna b basically our security for tonight"

○ Yava tugs on adam's shoulder and gestures to the pile of bodies

§ "yava remember when I said I got attacked last night . This was our self defense pile"

§ Yava apologizes to us for the nature of our circumstances

§ "if any of my friends - or you - " ok a/n: adam has put a suspicious amount of trust in yava given the amount of time and I'm shook

• Outside entrance doors

• Door opened by someone not a member of adam's party or by yava after dark, then spell set off

• All of our windows have been blown up but were boarded up

• Adam puts glyphs on doors and windows they used to get in last time and on basement hatchet and one on kitchen entrance

○ Making them all cold

○ Den on the second floor?

○ I wanna eat my cake

○ Glyphs will unspell around 8 a.m. the next day

○ I !! Wanna eat my cake :)

○ "when u wake up tmrw morning can u deactivate all the spells"

§ She would not b able to reactivate it if we did that

○ It won't dispel until the three days r over

• Jacob forgot celandine's name

• There r street vendors

• There's no ice box like no place to keep drinks cool in the house and apparently that's weird

• We need to feed yava

• "if asyna ,,, turned into a pig" marguerite, 2020

• Dom brings up lotr count: 1

○ Specifically namedrops "the fellowship of the ring" count: 2

• We're going grocery shopping

• Adam and asyna and theo r gonna go grocery shopping ? 18 for investigation

○ Not rlly grocery stores but ppl selling food everywhere

○ I want . Grilled chicken

○ Or like fried chicken

○ chicken

§ Maybe I'll microwave the pasta I made for dinner w some extra cheese on top

• Adam gets pork loins, potatoes, green beans, butter, bread, garlic, salt and pepper (which we have), strawberry sponge cake, heavy cream, chardonnay

○ Cel is making way back to house

○ Perception check, aerana 6

○ Aerana is looking around, sees yava making rounds; yava doesn't seem to treat aerana any differently

○ Eventually aerana sees cel arrive

○ Cel gets back

§ The bodies r not there anymore

□ IT SMELLS LIKE MISTLETOE

□ There is no mistletoe

• "heh. That could be scary" dom, 2020

• I'M H U N G R Y

• "tuesdays are pork loin nights" adam 2020

• Theo works on potatoes

• Cel pops in

• "adam did you make the garlic bread like I asked you to" theo, 2020

• Adam makes cooking intelligence check, 15

• Dinner is done

• Yava is done with one of the spells

• Something's happening I tuned out for two seconds

• Yava no longer considers self as one who goes on adventures but is now asking for our motivation for seeking this treasure

• Yava asks us for our motivations

○ Adam: revenge on bingbong

○ I don't remember the rest but it's not for the money

• Yava says she admirers the nobler goal of keeping the gold out of the hands of the xanathar guild

○ We don't know what we'll do w gold; cel is on team chuck-it-into-the-ocean

○ Could throw it into typ pit

• Oh my god. My cake slaps.

○ I want to focus on what yava is saying rn basically she's proposing we return the money if/when we get it but MY C A K E S L A P S

○ I N C R E D I B L E

○ Yava thinks there's a need for the money

• We don't know if yava is gonna report us

• Adam is gonna feed ot

○ Adam scoots the food back

○ Adam walks upstairs and says he's gonna b gone for five minutes and doesn't come back

• Cel asks yava abt her adventuring days

○ Was part of a nobles court years ago

○ Pirates too ig

○ I want cheese I want pasta with cheese

○ Has been to island of chault

○ Am I microwaving my pasta uh yes

○ Bet my fbi agent is judging me for how I'm reaching for my pasta from the microwave to avoid unplugging my earbuds

• Theo asks for advice from yava

○ Advises us to be safe but also to seek adventure where we can

○ Can get in over our head tho

○ MAN THIS PASTA IS G O O D I PUT MOZZARELLA ON TOP BRUHHHH

○ Yava is spending the rest of her time still guarding our house

• Never have I ever

○ Adam

○ Aerana

○ Theo

○ Cel 

○ Asyna

§ Been in a relationship

§ Been outside of waterdeep

§ Had drugs

§ A good relationship w parents

§ Not had Pets

§ Worn pajamas

§ Thrown up on someone

§ Education

§ Talked to a god or deity

§ Eaten meat

□ Asyna is a vegetarian but made the best pork loin

§ Met my mom

§ Swallowed a key

○ Asyna wins

§ Adam has to kiss ot

□ "this is super important the xanathar r upstairs" tells him to whisper kisses him on the forehead then runs upstairs

§ Cel and theo have to be one big person, go find yava and have a short chat as one person

□ Takes aerana's cloak

□ "do you want to be the top or bottom"

□ Theo is legs cel is heads and arms

○ Aerana has to hug everyone

§ Slaps adam when he accuses her of touching his butt; 11 damage

§ It's canon aerana can't hug

○ Cel sits on theo's shoulders (doing this bc yava is back)

§ Adam gives them a mustache w the purple wig

§ Gave up on walking in coordination

§ Yava is in kitchen standing near entrance, eyes closed kneeling, focusing on spell

§ Plans change cel and theo r gonna go to fallah's shop

§ They're gonna do it the next day w yava actually

• It's abt 11

○ Before yava leaves n during theo's shift, hear a knock at front door

○ Theo looks through peephole

§ Dwarf at the door wearing a guild uniform

§ Two other ppl w her

§ Gnome w them, one appears to b taller

□ Female dwarf, male gnome, somebody taller

□ Yava looks through the peephole and says they don't look to b armed

□ Theo opens the door a crack; the ppl had been repeatedly knocking

□ "female dwarf woman"

□ Half moon spectacles n long ponytail + taller human woman w cropped hair

□ They're all wearing a uniform

□ Utilitarian brown clothes

§ "hello there my name is kalima n these r mertram and harriet; members of one of the city guilds the plumbers guild"

□ Informed by city watch of magical explosion

□ Theo says to reschedule their inspection

□ Theo roasts n says they should've come earlier

® 5 persuasion check

□ They'll come back in two days

□ Lmao lavinia we learning

□ They step down the stairs and confer on the doorstep as leaving

® Look around house and discussing + carrying out informal measurements

® Can't hear anything then they walk away

□ Tells whoever has next watch what happened

□ Yava leaves during adam's watch

® Before she leaves adam thanks her for her work + says he's glad she's become a relevant character in this campaign

® "don't thank me yet adam"

• That's it

• Lord of the rings mention counter: 2

[multiplemindedme-blog]

I am not okay with misrepresentation.

I am still not ok with someone who umbrellas traumagenic systems in with endos and tulpas to represent me, one of thousands of diagnosed persons with DID at a conference coming up.

This person has proven to be a problematic blip in our community and for someone who lashes out and attacks others, I am just extremely put on edge by the fact she feels she can hold a conference about dissociative disorders.

But what do I know. I'm not a DID Youtuber. So my opinion doesn't matter. I struggled all of my LIFE with huge gaps in my memory, horrendous torture and trafficking, and denial of basic human rights until Kay learned to run away. I lost so many friends due to 'always acting different' and lost jobs because of behavior I was unaware of. I have struggled in my relationships with my family, and also my partners. All to be FORCED to be grouped in with tulpas and endo systems under the guise of 'progression' because "its 2018". But my opinion amongst other systems doesn't matter to them.

I am bothered being represented by someone who constantly shows abusive behavior and they will be passing out business cards to advertise their "group" and push their shit merch to make a quick buck off of suffering individuals or people who wanna be included in a community they don't belong to: the DID/DDNOS one.

I want seriousness in being legitimized by medical professionals. I want my brain scanned to be studied to find the differences in my alters who have protected me for YEARS. I want to be heard. I want to have progression in the treatment and validity of trauma-based systems who need it to progress in their therapy and healing. Integration being used as a choice, not always the end goal.

I don't want to compete alongside people who believe a bobcat spirit possessed them. Or a Dr. Who fan-character is system-hopping between people's brains for a fucking lark. I don't want to have to have myself laughed out of a clinic because they believe I am making shit up because some fool came in before me and claims to have werewolf alters but not through trauma -- just because they like wolves "and i don't know how they showed up lol". (Literally what a psychiatrist told me before I left feeling defeated and sick)

I have been quiet about my opinions but as of recent, the /forced/ mixture of 'systems' in this specific facebook group and its leader is a mess. So many systems have left because they were made unaware that they'd be sharing space with spirit-dabblers and "natural systems" when they came there for a safe place to discuss their DID/DDNOS (or possibility of having it) and it changing its rhetoric to gain more followers to gain more clout to sell her brand and represent folx like ME, which is not what I asked for.

And will never ask for.

Unless your mission is to spread awareness of DID with science, medical knowledge and/or sensitivity of trauma and PTSD and to answer questions on how you live y'alls lives to help others feel more comfortable with their trauma-based dissociatice disorder, anything else including system-hopping and spirits and other shit that deligitimizes the study and focus of treatment and maintenance of DID/DDNOS does not and will not ever represent me and honestly freaking shouldn't for other trauma-based systems, either.

My treatment and struggle and community needs to be accepted by doctors and science. I don't want fantasy or spirits or religion or whatever to get in the way of it. I am so tired of being laughed out of offices or treatment centers.

Anyway, I am prepared for the backlash. I won't respond to endos or tulpa folx. Sorry. I stand firm on my opinion. If you don't know who I am talking about, you can figure it out by looking up dissociative groups on FB. the more clown-colored group will be your ticket.

-Celia

[jheaton416]

Ace and Sep’s Greatest Hits

With Sad Hands and heavy hearts we bid farewell to Ace and Sep's Buffy recaps...  

"I get it now. The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence. It's about the power. And there's no one in the world who has the power to stop me now." Just then the Hubris Police step in in the form of Rupert Giles and throw a bolt of green energy at Willow, knocking her clear across the room. "I'd like to test that theory," says Giles, all tall and authoritative. Oh, Giles! Hi! I missed you so much this season! We have so much catching up to do! Let's see. I just finished my finals, and I think I did rather well. And I met a very nice boy who just happens to live in England, so when I'm over there this summer, if you wanna hang out or something just let me know. I gotta hand this over to Ace now, but... call me!

Sep, "Two to Go"

Sep: So there I was. At Trader Joe's, and boom. No Booty to be had. And you know my dedication to all things snack.  Ace: I feel your pain. The other night I was at TJ's and they had all these different kinds of Booty from Fruit Booty to Vegetable Booty, but not the Booty that I wanted.  Sep: Yargh. That blows.  Ace: Snerk. So anyway. Ash asked me if I wanted to get one of the other varieties, but I just felt that if I couldn't have the Booty that I wanted, it was better to have no Booty at all.  Sep: Dude. That's deep. And also would have saved me much pain and humiliation in my early twenties.  

There are tiny colonies of single-celled life at the bottom of deep fissures in the sea using their cilia to tell each other, "Buffy used Spike." Can we please move on?

Sep, "Never Leave Me"  

Ecch, I hear a noise like forty cats being squeezed too hard around their middles. Turns out it's Cordelia singing "The Greatest Love of All."

- Ace, "The Puppet Show"  

i dont have time to read all theze post but did u hear what happens in the finale? every vamp and demon that buffy has ever kiled is rezrected and they all sing at spike and angles WEDDING!!!! OMG!!! laterz Sep (Go on. Ban me. I dare you.)

Sep, in the forums  

Aw, Willow is wearing shorts and showing more Willow-leg than I believe we've ever seen. What a cutie. ... Giles finally pipes up that he's sorry he missed the encounter, but he actually sounds like he's sorry these damn kids won't leave him alone so he can pour himself a nice single-malt Scotch and watch that Letty The Lusty Librarian tape he has hidden in his nightstand. ... Dracula wears a sweater vest? Well, I guess that answers the age-old question: "What does Dracula wear under his cape?" Or was that Scotsmen? Who does he think he is anyway, Chandler Bing? ... I would like to point out that Spacky is wearing more eye makeup than the entire female cast combined.

Ace, "Buffy vs. Dracula"  

Credits. Who does James Marsters have to sleep with to be billed before Michelle Trachtenberg and Emma Caulfield? Ooh! Please let it be me. C'mon, if y'all give me James I won't ask for anything else for my birthday or Christmas. What? It worked when I was ten. ... Look! Xander is using a skill! Effectively! As he's building shelves for Giles, I notice that he's attired in jeans and a plain long-sleeved shirt. It looks like after his other half fell into the Gap, he managed to climb out with a basic grasp on the matching theory.

Sep, "Out of My Mind"  

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I love the 'Bot; I really, really do. She's so cute and happy and chirpy and I just know reanimated Buffy is going to be an angst-y pained ball of angst just like she was all last season, and sometimes I wish we could just replace her with the robot permanently. Especially if she keeps making jokes about marzipan.

Ace, "Bargaining I"  

Damn, Marc Blucas makes James Marsters look like a tiny, tiny man. After last week's showcase it's sad, but also amusing, to see Spike reduced to an elfin laundry-stalker.

Sep, "Shadow"  

WARNING: Contents may have shifted during shipping. Oops, that's the wrong warning. The warning is this: This recap contains opinions.

Ace, "Tabula Rasa"  

Evil Dead eh? I'm just going to take that as a shout-out to me and my Evil Dead t-shirt that I ordered out of the Fangoria (shut up) catalog twelve years ago and have been wearing consistently ever since. David Fury must have seen me in it or something. ... Buffy notices Ben sitting somewhere else and goes over to talk to him. Oh GREAT. You know how, whenever there's an outbreak of some sort of nasty infectious disease, during the news reports they often retrace the path of the virus on a map? Well, that's what my mind is doing with Ben right about now. First I only had to live in fear during the hospital scenes. But then he leached into the hospital parking lot. And now that he's just showing up at the Bronze all willy-nilly, he could just ooze on down the road anywhere his little slime trail will take him. Curses. Greasy Intern Ben is spreading. I wonder what his vector of infection is?

Sep, "Crush"  

Tough Love - Or, "The Unedited Buffy You Never Wanted To See." Buffy routes paperwork. Buffy repairs an appliance. Buffy folds laundry. Buffy goes to a parent-teacher conference. Dawn does homework. Dawn does homework some more. Glory practices personal hygiene. The recapper props her eyelids open with spork tines. To spice things up a little, Giles goes all Ripper, Tara goes all Forrest Gump, and Willow goes all Fairuza Balk. The recapper falls asleep and drools on her cat.

Ace, "Tough Love" recaplet  

Spike stumbles, bloody, bruised, and wild-eyed, down the hall to the elevator, and if I weren't a fan of this show and were just flipping by I might think it was a clip from a Behind the Music on Billy Idol.

Sep, "Intervention"  

...Marci needs to find "the key."  ...Darcy or Shannon or whatever her name is  ...Sheila or Lisa or whoever 

Sep describing Glory before her name was revealed, "Family"  

...the guy, who I've decided to call Gee Dub McChoad for no reason whatsoever...

Sep describing Tara's brother, "Family"  

Willow screams, 'Noooooooo,' and a rippling force shoots out of her mouth and zaps Osiris, who vanishes. Oh, the heartbreak of halitosis!

Ace, "Villains"  

My roommate brought home a big pile of Marshmallow Peeps from a post-Easter sale. I took one look at them and screeched, "Peeps show!" before grabbing one, winging it into the microwave, and making "Bamp-chicka-bow-wow" noises while watching the Peep swell and undulate in the microwave. Try it. It's fun. Also, I have in my notes from the first airing of this episode, "Dawn no like monkey-brain marshmallows." I think I'll just leave that in. You'll either find it as amusing as I do or marvel at my illiteracy.

Sep, "Conversations With Dead People"  

Willow incants more at the effigy (who looks like she's ready for a doctor to check her tonsils) and then sends green energy blobs shooting out of her breasts towards Santa's Phallus. It's a lesbian thing -- you wouldn't understand.

Ace, "Grave"  

Cut to Xander chaining Spike up in the basement of Casa Summers. Dawn, Buffy, Wood, Giles, Willow, the UN Security council, three random passersby, and a small hedgehog are all in attendance. Okay, not really, but seriously. The number of people present for this is way unnecessary. Giles, Willow and Buffy will perform the spell. Xander, Dawn and Wood will distribute small snacks and throw Jujubes at Spike's head. ... Spike's mum tells him that he "needs a woman in [his] life." He replies that he does have a woman in his life. She is momentarily taken in, but then realizes that William has some really serious Oedipal issues. Victorian etiquette dictates that it would be in poor taste to mention this, so she pretends to be flattered. He promises to always look after her, but she has a coughing fit, hoping to die and escape her creepy son. Knowing that Spike's women-paragon obsession thing in which he defines himself and his moral center by the dominant female figure in his life started back when Spike was human, and has continued until the present day, really makes me realize how pathetic a creature he truly is. You'd think that after the first hundred years he might have self-actualized or something.

Sep, "Lies My Parents Told Me"  

Let me amend that. It's a long, thick, snake-like demon with a head shaped just like a penis, that squeals at Buffy and then sprays liquid out of its mouth and onto her. Just think about that for a minute.

Ace, "Doublemeat Palace"  

At the Pub the Chuckleheads are sitting around a table strewn with empty beer pitchers, randomly slapping and picking nits off of each other. One of them is trying to remove his shirt but gets his head stuck in it. I can sympathize with him. I've done that -- sober.

Sep, "Beer Bad"  

Rack is creepy. Then about ten more anvils crash into my room, followed by a minor deluge of cow pies as we launch into a trippy-druggy sequence the likes of which has not been seen since The Trip and Psych-Out.

Ace, "Wrecked"  

Willow is wearing what Ace called a poncho, but I think looks more like a tube with no armholes. If anyone remembers the commercial for the plastic device that enabled you to turn a crank and produce miles upon miles of useful and fashionable yarn tubing, well, it looks like that. Either that, or Willow took up knitting but hasn't figured out the secret to sleeves yet. Patrolling against vampires and other night-haunting demons with your arms bound to your sides by an acrylic strait-jacket doesn't seem like a wise move, but what do I know about fashion? Oh, that's right -- a lot more than Willow, obviously.

Sep, "Something Blue"  

Suddenly, my TV screen fills up with a bunch of monkeys, all dressed up in platform sandals, cunning frocks, feather boas, and mascara. They form a menacing circle around Dawn. I think they're all guy monkeys, but y'know, it's a little hard to tell with the simians.

Ace, "Potential"  

It's Cruella D'Will. Heh. That's why she flayed Warren last week. She's making a coat out of him. Man, how much cooler would this episode be if Willow pranced around singing, 'See my vest! See my vest! It was once Warren's chest!' ... This is a test of the Emergency Snorecast System. Everything operational.

Sep, "Two to Go"  

Sunny Valley, Arizona Ace, a beautiful, brainy, and brilliant recapper for TWoP, that world-famous website and recipient of three Nobel Prizes for Internet Criticism, piloted her pink bubble-shaped hovercraft to the landing strip on the roof of her lux penthouse apartment. Slim and clad entirely in her everyday garb of form-fitting leather, she headed quickly to her Operations Control room, stopping only to scratch the chin of her almost-sentient leopard, Francesca. "Follow me, little one," Ace purred to her feline companion, "for tonight we view a new Buffy!" In Operations Control, Ace flung her shapely form onto the low designer sofa and thumbed the remote to her wall-sized liquid television. As the episode progressed, Francesca began to pace the room in agitation, for she had never before seen her merry human companion in such distress. Ace's perfectly manicured nails caressed her flawless face as she murmured, "How will I recap an episode so sorely lacking in plot? An episode that consists mostly of Andrew's fantasies and stolen videotaped vignettes of the Scooby gang? Without a narrative structure to follow, at what point should I mention the disturbing basement sex of the un-reunited Xander and Anya, or the empty and unsatisfying riot occurring at Sunnydale High?" Finally, Ace knelt, and attractively wept into the silken tawny fur of Francesca, "I face my greatest challenge ever! Just as the tears of repentant Andrew closed the Seal of Danzig in the school basement forever, so do my hot tears of rage seal my unrepentant loathing of this season!" Los Angeles, CA The evil genius Jane Espenson cackled evilly as she polished her six-inch chrome stilettos and flipped her shiny titian hair. Whirling menacingly in her secret headquarters beneath Reseda, she flipped open her tiny red Mobicom and hit speed-dial. Upon hearing a voice on the other end of the line, Jane leered and snapped out, "Hello, Joss? I think we've broken Ace already. The tears are the beginning of the end. That'll teach her to complain about Andrew's poor grasp on reality!"

Ace, "Storyteller" recaplet  

The Knights are gonna get the Key, toniiiight! The Scoobies drive a big RV, toniiiight! This year, the minutes seemed like hours The arc progressed so slowly And still no end in siiiight!

Sep, "Spiral" recaplet  

Xander gets snide about what a "simple" decision this must be for Buffy and then leaps up, snarling, "You know, if there's a mass-murdering demon that you're, oh, say, boning, then it's all gray area." Hee -- go Xander! I'm not really taking sides in this argument because I think both Buffy and Xander are both right and wrong here, but I really think it needed to be said that Buffy totally put aside all her Slayer standards in order ride Spike's man-pole, and she's never really admitted that to or faced it as far as I can tell. She's mumbled about how it was bad for her, but never seemed to realize what a betrayal of her calling it was. Buffy wins The Lame Comeback Of The Century Award when her only reply is that Spike is "harmless." Harmless except for the whole part where he could and did harm you, Buffy. Nice self-preservation instincts there, honey. Let's kill Anya because she could hurt men. Let's not kill Spike because he can only hurt Buffy. Uh, where was I?

Ace, "Selfless"  

This whole Spike with Buffy thing? My fault. When Angel was on the show, I hated every second of him and his dazed "you can tell I have a soul because I look like I just walked into a tree" method of acting. (Angelus was a different story. A cooler story that didn't spend so much time whining and moping.) Then, when he left, it was like light pouring in through the heavens. I was excited. Happy. I had a new lease on life. I thought, "No matter what, Buffy's next boyfriend won't be so bad." Enter Riley. Riley with his potato nose, thinly-veiled chauvinism, and women issues. And so it was, until it came to pass that Riley endeth. And lo! Happiness reigned far and wide across the land (defined as my apartment), there was much rejoicing, and it was good. Again, I foolishly allowed myself to be confident that this had been the worst. Surely Buffy's next boyfriend...

Sep, "Two to Go"  

ASH is really giving a killer performance here. I wonder how many takes it took for him to stop laughing. His singing sounds very soulful and I'm convinced it's his own voice, just very badly synched. Maybe the sound crew had to work overtime on all the Buffy/Riley moaning and ran out of time for the important things. Bad prioritization, guys. For a whole week following this episode, my poor cat is tortured by me following her around the house and bellowing, "No ooooone knows what it's liiiiike/Toooooo be the baaaad cat/Tooooo be the saaaad cat/Behind blue eeeeeyeees." I swear, one of these days she's going to lose her patience, pack her little kitty suitcase and leave. Well, at least I don't make her watch The Others with me anymore.

Ace, "Where the Wild Things Are"  

Luke is chanting, "The Sleeper will wake and the world will bleed. Amen!" Because vampires are such religious creatures. Don't you remember that one heartwarming episode they had when they showed them all going to church? Sure, they wanted to eat the rest of the congregation, but as long as they're worshipping in Glen Oak with the Camdens I really don't have a problem with that.

Sep, "Welcome to the Hellmouth"  

D'Hoffryn introduced himself, and Aud replies, "I am Aud." Hee. That's a funny pun. You know that saying that goes, "Puns are the lowest form of humor"? That always confused me. I mean, I wondered who decided that, and what the highest form of humor was, and why the phrase always seemed to be uttered only by the very humorless, who wouldn't seem qualified to judge. Anyway, this is 2002, and the saying is obviously obsolete. It comes from an older era. An era before the fart joke. Fart jokes are quite clearly the lowest form of humor, and I suggest that we petition the correct powers that be to have the saying updated for modern times. ["The lowest, and yet consistently the most reliable. Hee. Farts." -- Sars]

Ace, "Selfless"  

Willow and Buffy walk up the steps to school, and Xander catches up with them. I'm sorry that I can't recap their conversation, but I'm sure you'll understand once I tell you about Xander's red and moldy green-gray sweater paired with brown and yellow plaid pants. As if that combination wasn't horrific enough on its own, Willow is wearing an orange and yellow striped fleece shirt. It's at times like this that I wish I were blind -- just like the wardrobe people.

Sep, "Passion"  

Ace: "I don't know why Buffy was all surprised when Spike tried to kiss her. That's what you do at the end of a date and drinking, dinner, and pool all add up to a date." Sep: "It totally was a date. My last date ended exactly the same way. Someone threw a wad of cash at someone else, the words, 'You're beneath me' were uttered, and one of us was left crying alone in an alley." Ace: "You've got to be kidding me." Sep: "Actually I am. My last date ended with me threatening my beau with a spork."

Ace and Sep, "Fool for Love"