#ddnos

[runby2]

just throwing it out there for whoever doesn't know this or needs to be reminded, alters are not delusions. they're actual developed parts of the consciousness that are formed by structural dissociation. respecting alters as different people is not feeding into harmful delusion. they're actually there for real, and they actually are separated from the other alters through either extreme emotional amnesia or fuzzy/full blackouts of memory. when an alter splits from another, they do not "steal skills / steal crucial identity" from another alter or take it away from another alter. they form separately as a new self, and learn to function as who they are, who they wish to be, or how they want to exist as that different state of self that is not connected to the others. systems are quite literally "multiple." we have many different conscious states that act as separate people, (as long as they want to identify that way.) fusion doesn't make alters die or get lost, and integration is not fusion. -fusion means two alters can now exist as one without the barrier, and identify as everything the two alters once were. you can still feel that alter being there, you're just kinda glued with them and intermingling with them. this is not a common thing though, and needs to be worked on consecutively with both conscious states wishing for it, and even then it may not stick. you cant force it. believe us. -integration means learning what defines an alter and knowing when they're around, sharing their memories when a switch occurs, and feeling relatively more connected to the other alters. this won't make you lose any alters or cause fusion to happen out of no where. don't be afraid to get to know them out of fear of them one day "disappearing" - they'll never disappear. your system is always part of you, and you are always in control and able to find ways to communicate with your system even if it takes time and consistent effort. even if you wish to try to pursue fusion, you MUST pursue functional multiplicity before that can even feasibly occur. even if you are able to fuse with a part, your brain is still developed to split more alters, and it will always be like that. finding ways to cope with multiplicity is a must if you are going to feel healthy and happy with your system and your life as a whole. that is why it is SO important to have being happy and loving yourself and your alters as an end goal. i suggest blocking anyone who claims DID/osdd/ddnos is a disorder that will always be filled with suffering and should never be romanticized, enjoyed, or shown as a good thing. being a system is not only a trauma disorder. it is who someone is as a being, as multiple selves. telling us not to love that or celebrate it however we please is cruel, and the opposite of whatever activism people are trying to create and push. please don't fall for self hatred as a form of community or a badge of honor.

[coolhumanoidbeing]

Shout out to people with Complex Dissociative Disorders (parents edition):

If your parents genuinely changed and improved overtime

If your parents were absent when you were a kid because they were sick / ill / working / otherwise indisposed

If your parents were not your abusers

If your parents would have acted differently if they knew you were being abused

If your parents didn't have the resources or knowledge to help / understand you

If your parents were loving and yet still neglectful

If your parents inadvertently invalidated / didn't believe you, but now do

If your parents weren't your primary caregivers when the abuse happend

If you weren't abused at all and your trauma was medical / environmental / etc

Had emotionally and physically present parents but you still had disorganized attachment with them as a kid because of your delusions / paranoia / etc.

If your parents regret how they treated you

If your parents loved and love you but acted the way they did because of substances / mental illness

If your parents are not completely bad people, or bad people at all

If you still get along with your parents regardless of what they did

If you ever invalidated your own traumatic childhood experiences because your parents were "too nice"

Your trauma is not less valid if you get along with your parents today. Sure, you needed disorganized attachment to your primary caregivers as a kid to develop a CDD. But that can take plenty of formes, and they don't all include your parents being monsters.

Edit: any other emotions regarding your parents are also valid and okay, and I couldn't mean that more. Childhood trauma survivors go through so many rough emotions, and self-invalidation is sadly way too common. Your feelings are a direct result of what happened and that makes them normal.

[vaguelydefinedshapes]

Finally got an unofficial diagnosis from my therapist. What do I even do with this

[shihkas]

from Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation

[m0dem0n]

DID/OSDD/UDD+ Flag blinkies...the sequel!

Part 1 here. Check out these edits by reblogging-resources-etc too!

These blinkies are F2U, but credit is highly appreciated! Feel free to request different text for the blinkies when our askbox is open! - md0n

[goldenspirits]

I think it's funny that my therapist said 10 headmates in a system sounded like a lot of people. So I kept thinking 10 alters? For a singlet, a lot For a system? Not many

ENDOS DNI OR I'LL BITE YOUR BALLS OFF

[sleepyseaslug]

a personal update bcs I'm??? V scared of all this and need to vent it a little

[thecircularsystem]

[kittycommitte]

[loving-system-submissions]

Hi there!! This is a place for people with DID / OSDD / DDNOS to give shout-outs to alters in their system or submit positive things regarding their experience with dissociative disorders. Innerworld relationships are loved and accepted here so feel free to talk about your partners. You’re also welcome to mention fictives / talk about any source. You do not have to be clinically diagnosed to submit something 🩶 have fun!

[ Blog is run by an adult diagnosed with DID — anything I don’t feel comfortable posting for whatever reason will just be deleted ]

-

Link to my discord server: https://discord.gg/7pcgvrky adults only

[shihkas]

from Recovery is My Best Revenge by Carolyn Spring

[changeling6]

NPC

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I'm slipping through the cracks

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I'm slipping through the cracks

Where am I today?

Maybe just in the way

In my head, there is a game

That all day I will play

It's always streamed live

But I can't click back out

Commentary fills my mind

I can't focus on the sounds

I hear screaming downstairs

It hurts to much to listen

I put headphones in my ears

And blast music till it dampens

I'm not here,

I'm somewhere in outer space

Saving someone else's day

This is my only escape

I'm not here,

Professor X asked me to go

Live with him like on the show

I'm a mutant now, don't you know?

Everytime you talk to me

Inside my head, there is a scene

When I want to turn it off,

I can't, I will never be free

It started in my childhood

To block out all the pain

When the sky starts to rain,

I dissociate

When you see me in the streets

I'm locked inside my dreams

There's nothing in my eyes so deep

I can't remember anything

It started with that very first fight

Couldn't cope so I'm in space

To make it through the day

I dissociate

Couldn't clean my room today

There's too much I must keep

It's all he didn't take from me

Just like he took my sleep

In the morning, I go to to school

With an hour or two of rest

There's too much that goes on at night

That it'll drag me to my death

Home was never safe for me

With him underneath my bed

Please don't touch me, I'm okay

I'm safer inside my head

I'm not here

I'm meeting some alien men

And a pink fairy princess

Say, do you like my dress?

I'm not here

I'm out saving the world

Alongside Supergirl

With the powers of earth

Everytime you talk to me

Inside my head, there is a scene

When I want to turn it off,

I can't, I will never be free

It started in my childhood

To block out all the pain

When the sky starts to rain,

I dissociate

When you see me in the streets

I'm locked inside my dreams

There's nothing in my eyes so deep

I can't remember anything

It started with that very fight

Couldn't cope so I'm in space

To make it through the day

I dissociate

Praise the world

For this child in the land

Position them with the adults

The ones who can't keep their hands

They are a commodity

A gift to sirs and ma'ams

Doing things with their bodies

That they don't understand

Punish the child

For what they don't understand

They tune out the world as they bruise

They're too young to stand

Praise the prophecy

Of the baby adult man

They don't know just what they do

The power in their hands

Everytime you talk to me

Inside my head, there is a scene

When I want to turn it off,

I can't, I will never be free

It started in my childhood

To block out all the pain

When the sky starts to rain,

I dissociate

When you see me in the streets

I'm locked inside my dreams

There's nothing in my eyes so deep

I can't remember anything

It started with that very first fight

Couldn't cope so I'm in space

To make it through the day

I dissociate

[yourl0cal1ncorporealb3ing]

Dissociative Trance Disorder

so like I fell down a research rabbit hole right? (As one does) And I came across DTD (Dissociative Trance Disorder) and I REALLY resonated with the desc of the disorder but I can barely find shit on it because I think its really rare or sumthin? Idk but if anyone can find anything on it (Or if you are someone with DTD) that talks more about the Trance subtype rather than the Possession subtype lmk!

[insipid-drivel]

Being disabled and actually starting to live a healthier lifestyle according to the nature of a disability can be so fucking hard.

I know I'm right on the cusp of my quality of life improving dramatically from multiple different factors coming into play recently, but until those things actually happen, all I can do is stay in bed and sit with myselves (DDNOS-1B; google it) while I resist the urge to crumble under all the years of lost opportunities due to my chronic pain and mobility needs.

Like... I know I'm disabled, and have been my whole life, but my journey has been rough as hell. Before I got approved for disability status legally, I couldn't really work despite trying for years to make it as a writer (yeah, I quit, for a lot of reasons), while begging my family to help me out with affording mobility devices.

It took me almost 5 years of pleading just to get my cane. My mom, being my only financial supporter at the time, only ever reacted like I was just being melodramatic. Until I finally got in her face and screamed at her, "I HURT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I HAVE TO WALK WITHOUT A CANE!"

Another 5 years of begging and pleading for help, and I'm finally getting an electric wheelchair so I can stop pushing myself to walk altogether. A family friend is the owner of a wheelchair and mobility aid company that's not only responsible for some of those awesome offroad wheelchairs with tank treads on them, and he's been sourcing some of the newest and shiniest models of wheelchairs for me with financial assistance, too.

It's just that, now that it's actually in the works and happening, the first thing I have to do is wait. He asked me a lot of questions about my mobility needs and what I like doing that a chair could help me do more easily, and then went off to Miami to a floorshow debut of some even newer-generation, specialty wheelchairs he'll be stocking.

I'm not not excited. I want to be able to move without pain! Of course I want to go outside without worrying I'll fall or have no way to move if my sciatic nerve goes berserk on me! But now that I'm actively waiting for something that's gonna happen, that's actually going to happen...

I've never been more aware of how close my bedroom walls are. I hate asking family members to help me with basic tasks, or even helping me pick up something I knocked over and can't bend down to retrieve/clean up without godawful pain. I've been bedridden for weeks now with what's turned out to be Endometriosis Appearing In My Abdominal Muscles. My PCP has me on a good pain-plan while I wait to see a surgeon (I'm trans so it also doubles as bottom surgery for me yay), but I've never seen myself for how limited I actually am until the promise of more mobility became a reality, and it's really hard not to feel even more self-loathing than I already naturally do.

I'm also angry. Angry that it took so many years of literally crying for help with mobility aids before anyone in my own family took me seriously, while simultaneously wondering why I rarely ever left my room, or even got out of bed, for almost a decade.

At least I have one escape hatch: The DDNOS-1B. I may be in a lot of pain, but Alex has been a champ at fronting for me for hours on end and greying out my senses so I can move around a little more comfortably with less pain medication, get a handful of tiny things done, and getting me fresh air. Sometimes he'll just sit there in front in order to force my perception of time to move faster.

I cannot wait to finally go outside in the sun again when my chair arrives. But until then, I keep remembering the words of Nando Parrado when he was trapped in the Andes and facing despair: "Suffer for a little longer."

[bagaluten-sys]

OMG!! I feel so stupid right now, senses ARENT supposed to shift? Like I always thought senses are like moods, like "yeah, im not in the mood to taste that", "yeah, im just not in the mood to feel as cold as I usually would here"

I wake up and am like "hm, today I can smell, thats cool"

They're supposed to be relatively cocontinious (depending on the environment as well of course)

[light-of-dawn-ghost]

fun that like. having some very conflicting ideas and trains of thought about religion. like we grew up southern baptist, and thats been an absolute struggle to get over. growing up in a not-great house and adding in 'god just tolerates you, and if you grovel at His feet and beg enough He *might* let you into heaven when you die' as a like. 10 year old. and now having a want to get into catholicism.. the struggler..... i want to get into this. but also if i do get into it we need to be so so so careful about it and how we let it affect us.

-Dàinn