#sounds like the biggest tragedy honestly

[gemkun]

what form of love do you embody ?

      ⸻       love as devotion

  [   devotion   :   love   ,   loyalty   ,   or   enthusiasm   for   a   person   ,   activity   ,   or   cause   ]   when   ruth   said   to   naomi   ❝   where   you   go   ,   i   will   go ,   and   where   you   stay   ,   i   will   stay.   your   people   will   be   my   people   ,   and   your   God   my   God   ❞   and   when   hozier   sang   ❝   i'll   be   the   dreadful   need   from   the   devotee   that   drove   [   orpheus   ]   underground   ❞   and   when   deathcab   for   cutie   sang   ❝   if   there's   no   one   beside   you   when   your   soul   embarks   ,   i   will   follow   you   into   the   dark   ❞

tagged by : @scrtilegii ( love u ) tagging : @autymns , @ephemyrals ( aventurine ) , @avgiin , @justiceblooms , @celesticlnstcrs ( jing yuan ) , @defiedlife , @oneireth ( sunday ) , @halchron ( yusuke ) , @eldkitch , @drolliic ( akechi ) , @prodigls ( dazai or ratio ) , @longerhuman & anyone else who wants to

[jaetyun]

your biggest fan.

04. rodrick heffley

wc: roughly 1.4k ish

"my arms hurt"

"your arms always hurt" your insistent whines only prove to make eunseoks jaw tick in annoyance, wanting nothing more than to take the luggage in his hands and throw it at your face until you fall backwards. it would really funny too, he notes. "plus, you're the one that said you'd help in any way you could."

"i know i said that but i was thinking like, hanging out with anton in his studio all day" you huff, stopping halfway through the hallway to do a small hop, an attempt to readjust the box in your hands. "why'd i get the heavier shit? you literally work out" you're met with a teasing shrug, eunseok opening the door and holding it for you in a small token of pity. rather than a thank you, you reply with scrunching your face, sticking your tongue out in childish rebellion.

the two of you have been packing up the essentials in the house that doubled as their practice and resident hangout spot. the rest would be on the way eventually, though you were sure eunseok had sent them on random errands to delay the inevitable: you seeing sohee and wonbin.

it's not like you hadn't all hung out in this very house countless times, this being your childhood home eunseok inherited once college started. you've spent most of your formative years on the same couch you could spot even from outside the house (where you currently stood, box still in hands from being lost in thought and forgetting how heavy it is), watching a movie the boys had picked purely to watch your discomfort. when you weren't watching a movie, sometimes they'd sneak into the liquor cabinet, not allowing you to leave until you had tried some with them. or maybe the fonder memories were when they weren't being mean to you, like karaoke nights or when you watched them practice with the makeshift drums and guitar they had. the practices they had now were much more professional and definitely sounded better, but it was undeniable you were far more fond of the ones before they got big, back when their biggest problem was learning how to read music.

you were startled back to reality by eunseok finally having remorse, snatching the box from your hand and placing it carefully with the other necessities you were storing on the porch for easier delivery when shotaros big ass truck got there. you mumbled a thanks, crunching and releasing your fingers in tandem now that they're finally free, watching your brother silently nod before walking back inside first. he's definitely gotten softer since middle and high school, and the terrorizing brother who used your misery as entertainment had faded with puberty.

"i'm hungry" your complaining starts up again, following into the kitchen where you make a dramatic display of your tragedy by laying down on the island table. eunseok scoffs, placing a water bottle next to you mid tantrum. "the guys will be back in like 20 minutes with food, you can survive." at the reminder, you turn around so you're now on your stomach, swaying your feet in the air with a grin. your brother stares at you for a second, a mix of judgment and disgust overtaking his face. "dont go ignoring everyone else when he gets here. especially sohee, you barely glance his direction at this point. it's honestly really depressing to watch"

your eyebrows raise at this, glancing at your brother suspiciously. "you want me to pay attention to sohee? what did he bribe you with to get you to say that" you sigh out, fidgeting with the water bottle cap while speaking.

"you've known him longer, he misses his friend." he walks over, pinching your cheeks to coo at you before you're swatting his hand away. "eugh! i dunno what's infected your brain to be asking me to hang out with sohee when normally i'm not allowed in a 10 foot radius of your friends. need me to babysit him or something?" he rolls his eyes, taking a seat in one of the chairs while you still sat stomach down, your head now resting on your crossed arms. "he's not even the youngest. i just think you shouldn't be so googoo gaga over wonbin, it's weird."

as if on queue, the door swung open, bag of greasy fast food in antons hand while he did a sing song hum to signify he's home.

"yn get off the island! you're gross germs are gonna get on the food" shotaro nags, walking toward you while you slowly shuffle off. "you'd love it if you had my cooties, it'd the first time a woman gave you anything-" eunseok covers your mouth with his hand, using the momentum to push you back so he could take a peak inside the to-go bags. he made quick work of it, taking the wrapped burgers and handing it out to the regular buyers of that item.

once you got your requested order, you glanced at sohee, the words your brother said ringing in your head. looking around, you spotted wonbin after, eyes softening and feet about to work on autopilot before you blinked yourself back to reality. sohee was in the corner of the kitchen, resting against the counter seemingly in his own world. looking back at wonbin, it was clear he was occupied talking to anton while they surveyed the drinks and messed with them inside the carrier. after pausing for a moment, your feet begun to move again, walking toward the person you'd rather talk to.

"heehee" you hum, walking over to sohee who was inspecting his burger. he gave you a nod, a smile etching on his face even if his gaze immediately returned to the burger. "is it true you miss your ex bestie?" you tease, hands under your chin to frame your face while batting your eyelashes. he snickers, deciding to dismiss the burger entirely and now focusing on you. he nods in confirmation, the cheeky smile still on his face. "we never hang out anymore, alone or in a group"

your pose drops, sticking a tongue out at him. "well that's your fault for homie hopping to my brother" wonbin walks over to where you guys stood in the kitchen, drink in one hand while the other slides onto the counter next to sohee. "why're you guys hiding from us?" although it's clear there's humor in his voice, he gives sohee an unreadable expression before sohees rolling his eyes, gesturing to you. "she came over here to pick on me." your eyes widened, scared of making a bad impression on wonbin and him viewing you as anything other than the alluring gentle girl. "not true!" there sohee goes, setting operation loverboy back 15 steps.

"oh. well then leave him alone yn" you nod dumbly, an apologetic smile on your face. he returns the smile before turning back to sohee. "we're loading the truck right now, we could use the extra hands" he gives sohee, who is now also exchanging an expression you can't quite place, a hardy pat on his forearm before swiftly exiting. sohee sighs, taking one last bite out the mostly untouched burger before looking back at you. "well i'm glad you decided to join us on tour, i dunno about anyone else know i missed your company. make sure to say hi to shotaro and anton too" he finishes, now sliding off the counter and rolling up his sleeves while walking toward the front door. watching all the boys pile out, you sat there wordlessly. this was the first time you were truly gonna be surrounded by the band and only the band, and though you were more than happy to spent most of your time with wonbin it soon sunk in how everyone else would be there too. sohee seemed more excited to see you than even hiyyih, who was the president of your fanclub. shotaro and anton were the same as ever, adding to the group what the other three lacked in high school perfectly. though you joined purely for your quest with wonbin, it soon became clear this trip was about a lot more than you trying to win over your lover boy. it wasn't until your phone dinged that you had snapped back to reality, hand automatically going to your pocket to reply.

previous - masterlist - next

since your brother formed a band with his friends in high school, you've had a massive crush on the aloof and reserved wonbin. him never paying you mind never bothered you until they became famous, and now you have to share him with every other fangirl. now that they're on tour, it's the perfect opportunity to make wonbin realize he doesn't want to share you either.

taglist @jvngw0nlvr @tocupid @seunghancore @molensworld @starwonb1n @yizhoutv @yipyipmorals @gyehyeonist @icewons @renjuneoo @soobiverse @fae-renjun @nujeskz @woonagi-lemon @miy-svz @binoyu @ricecakeslove @i03jae @meowbini @https-yeonjun @snowyseungs @p-d1ddy @saranghoeforanton @secretiny @aloverga @potatosoulp1h @dimplewonie @taroddori i @suzayaaa @brachioswrld @flaminghotyourmom @haowonbins @kyusqult

[annabelle--cane]

Hey so I'm not good at subtext and I saw you posting about ep 200 of TMA being awesome. I've listened to it a few times and I'm mostly...confused? I don't understand what happened

(I mean, I get what Martin did to Jon, but nothing other than that)

Would you mind explaining why it's impactful to you?

honestly the main standout thing that makes it really shine to me is the soundscaping and vocal editing, and I've seen people take that as an indirect snide comment about the writing before but it really isn't, the entire scene in the panopticon just sounds gorgeous. the distortion and static on jon's voice, the underscoring of the statement, the way jon and martin's dialogue pops out from the sounds of the crumbling tower, it's just. aaaaaaaaaa. I find it really pleasant to listen to, if you've only listened through speakers then I'd 100% recommend trying it with headphones, it is simply very pretty and well made.

from the story side, it's beat after beat of ultimate catharsis for threads and arcs that have been set up for the whole show.

jon going ham and just really brutally killing jonah with his own hands, no supernatural influence, finally fulling snapping and, it sounds like, gutting him like a fish. it's just about the most lively and impassioned we've heard him all season, and, as far as anyone could deserve to do such a thing, he really is the person who deserved to get to do it.

jon and martin both betraying each other and making the choices that the whole story has been leading them to. jon has spent years fighting against his internalized idea that he can't trust anyone and he's the only person who's powerful/expendable/knowledgeable enough to make decisions and solve problems, and at last he submits to it and takes matters into his own hands. martin has spent years operating under the assumption that he's unimportant and incapable, and now just as he finally accepts that his choices have meaning, he sets the plan in motion that ends up getting them both killed. and jon has tried so hard to be transparent and show him trust that he underestimates just how willing jon is to go behind his back and disregard the plan completely.

and the fuckign. web lighter. I have a longstanding obsession with the mechanics of fate in tragedy narratives, and this lighter. hhh. so, fate (the web) was guiding jon & co to release the fears, but to jon's knowledge, killing jonah and becoming the pupil should have been his winning move to keep them contained. as far as he was capable of comprehending, he made all the right choices, but fate (the web) (the oppressive forces that govern all of our lives) doesn't play fair, it planned for this and cheated him. because he couldn't remember the lighter. he couldn't remember that he already gave georgie the catalyst for the explosion.

this tells me a few things: the ultimate end of releasing the fears was always going to happen, there was nothing jon could have done, but, technically, he could have adhered to the plan and lived to spend what was left of his life with martin and the rest of his nearest and dearest. but that was never really an option, was it? jon archivist sims would never have made that decision, that's why martin tried and failed to plan around it, that's why the web tried and succeeded to plan around it, it would never have happened differently. jon made his choice, it made no difference except to doom himself and the one he loves, he didn't have to do it, and it was inevitable.

and after all of that, after the web cheated him, he could still have won. he could have survived the tower collapse and kept the fears. but one of his biggest stated motives, over and over, is that he can't stand to lose anyone else, and martin is not immune to burning buildings the way he is. in an inverse to gertrude, at the last moment, he chose the barest chance for martin to survive over his own life and principles and big picture goals. he could cope with being responsible for killing the world in the abstract, but when it came to watching the person he loves most die right before his eyes, he caved and came around to martin's perspective. the other worlds can cope, he wants to save the man he loves.

[milksnake-tea]

Dunno if you've ever answered an ask like this before, but do you mind telling us about your mutuals?

Rather, their writing styles and how they interact (No pressure if this sounds like I'm intruding on a boundary or something, I've noticed that you reblog a lot of works and I'm trying to find more fic writers from HSR and Genshin to support, but sometimes it feels a little scary 😅)

HELP NO IT'S OKAY !!! no fear in asking, we love people like you <333 these are mainly the mutuals that i've read fics from so that i can actually tell you how they write but still. THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE STRAP IN FOLKS. if i forgot ygs im sorry oops... also sorry for the tag COUGHS (esp to the ppl i keep tagging when i get asked abt my moots BYE kawa skip mhie naru ren im so sorry i love you i swear)

@generalsmemories

NARU !!! ONE OF MY FIRST EVER HSR MOOTS AND ONE OF THE WRITERS I LOOK UP TO THE MOST. her writing style is very scenic?? if i were to describe it, it's very dreamy and whimsical and it's like reading a fantasy book. very descriptive but not so descriptive that you're eating fancy words. she's jing yuan centric but occasionally writes for others such as dan heng and sunday! she's honestly very very silly when it comes to interaction, like in an older sister way <33 she talks like an aesthetic if that makes sense

@inarvii

skip has a very elegant feel to her writing like LORD. it's giving noble/fantasy thriller enemies to lovers but in a writing style i love her prose and how she really makes you feel the vibe of a scene. she's really kind and sweet, gives older sister vibes lowkey

@k9wa

kawa is like me but x497842389 cooler and with a lot better grasp on characters. you want proper characterization? you want big brain ideas? GO TO HIM. his writing feels theatric, like a movie or a play. it's so descriptive and he does an amazing job at describing action and characters and GRGRGRGR

@luvether

lord i dont know if its okay to tag you but uhm. hi waves hand 😭😭 honestly i haven't interacted w kou much but from what i can tell she's really nice!! BUT I HAVE READ HER WRITING. AND LAWRD. her writing feels like little snapshots of life, you feel like you're actually like. THERE. she always has the biggest brain of ideas i swear and i highly recommend her writing. mostly fluff with a touch of angst, one of my favorites fr !!

@emiken-070907

hi emi. bet you didn't expect to get tagged here huh. but you have one hsr fic and that's enough for me to slap you onto here and promo you (it's on ao3 and it's not an x reader, but it is a tragedy yanqing timeskip!!! i beta read for that btw flips hair (i still need to edit im so sorry emi please)). as for interaction, she is silly asf. TO ME PERSONALLY? shes like the ratty little sibling that you want to throw out the window but would also kill for. has great vibes over all, she's so sweet but sometimes shes a lil shit so. yeah. idk how she acts to followers but she is like that to ME. but she is full of whimsy and glee so there's that

@rainswept

edgar allan poe incarnate over here??? HELLO??? crow is. her writing is RAW. like okay this is going to get a bit gorey but they write like a freshly opened wound, it's vulnerable, it's poetic, it's pure imagery and i LOVE it. also another goofy moot. i think like just attracts like atp

@tragedy-of-commons

gwen is an absolute SWEETHEART. very silly. BUT THEY'RE SO SWEET. her writing is literally sunlight put into literary terms, if that makes sense. it's warm, comfy, and cozy (except when she kills you in the arms of your favorite character. which she has done) and i highly recommend her writing for a comfy read <3

@iceunhie

mhie is a HATER OF THE HIGHEST ORDER jk i love her she just bullies me GOODBYE 😭 mhie gives off older sister vibes, a lot of people (including me HELP) see her as intimidating but she's really sweet once you get to know her. or she calls you milk. who knows. ANYWAYS genuinely one of the people i look up to most, she always gives amazing feedback on writing and her own writing??? the prose??? she's a master at it. knows how to really elevate a piece and it's just really easy on the eyes. she's also a research writer, her jiaoqiu fic utilizes chinese proverbs and terminology and i think that's really neat <3

@st6rly

hi bottom beta. okay wait sorry you have a reputation i forgot ANYWAYS. SOL IS SUCH A SILLY GOOSE. i love him. BUT HE IS SO GOOFY AND I MEAN THAT IN A POSITIVE WAY. i haven't read that much about what sol writes unfortunately since i'm no longer interested in genshin that much 😭😭 but i've heard good things !! definitely someone you wanna check out if you like good vibes :D

@lowkeyren

ren my pookiebear my LORD !!! resident aquila favonia haver (she has like 21 as of right now) and she serves every time she writes. always gets slapped onto my rec list because she's one of the few writers that genuinely have me kicking and giggling 😭 really cute, really tension filled, one of my favorite authors :))

@scribs-dibs

SUNNIII true to his name his writing feels just so warm and light, like a slice of life anime. very relaxing reads, at least from what i've seen !! very warm, really really cute <33 like the main one that ive read from him is that alhaitham jealousy fic and??? the characterization was ON POINT. i loved it so much (the switch up made me laugh) as for personality. HES FUNNY. LIKE HES STRAIGHT UP HILARIOUS I LOVE HIM GO CHECK HIM OUT I SWEAR ITS WORTH IT

@akutasoda

q has a very pretty vibe if that makes sense, i haven't read much from them but i can definitely say that their writing style is beautiful, like a meadow full of flowers or a quiet stream. they've always been kind to me in that sort of older sibling way, and they're someone that i would trust as an emergency contact. lots of genshin and hsr from what i've seen on my dash, so definitely go check them out!

@aviiarie

avery's on the more reserved side, at least from my point of view, or maybe that's because when i first met them they had a ferminet pfp. they're pretty chill and casual, and can i just say? their writing is very easy to read, it has great flow and i can just lose myself in the fic. like i don't see the words i see what the words are saying, if that makes sense. avery also focuses on platonic writing, although they have been writing some romance with furina!! my personal favorite work of theirs was that fic of arlecchino comforting her crying child because it made me feel so much better about my life at 9 am when i just woke up.

@vynicity

FELICITYYYY she's a mutual in my heart even tho apparently tumblr thinks i dont follow her. but i do. ANYWAYS. another person that i consider on the more reserved side, but she's been fun whenever we talked. can i just say. SHE IS SO GOOD AT WRITING AVENTURINE. there's this one fic down the line about him being drunk??? i think??? and I ATE THAT UP because the tension and atmosphere that she managed to create. just magnificent. she has an aventurine series up right now iirc (i still need to read the new chapter im so sorry feli) and the prologue was. a roller coaster so definitely go check her out!

@vxnuslogy

vee is literally bursting with ideas and by god does she put them to use. i always see them brainrotting or thinking of new ideas or things to write, literally one of the most creative people ive met. can be a little silly, but still a sweetheart <33 her writing is more formal than what i'm used to i'll admit, but still a delight to read nevertheless <33 very descriptive is how i'd describe it, like it feels like she's looking at the scene as shes writing it

@ughscara

ayame is like. the sweetest person i have ever met. like ill be here being a little shit and she'll still be an absolute sweetheart I ALMOST FEEL BAD BECAUSE SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH MY ASS BYE 😭😭 i just recently reblogged one of her works and it straight up feels like it came out of a fairytale, it was so light and sweet <33

[arcadiabaytornado]

I want to talk about Rachel’s junkyard letter to Chloe because it contextualizes her relationship with Frank and Mark. (Note: She is more than likely talking about Mark here. Frank doesn’t seem wise, and he is scary, but in a pretty conventional way. Mark will even say that Frank was Rachel’s bad boy phase in Episode 5. Plus, “We hooked up near campus,” also points to Mark.)

This note has a lot of substance regarding the nature of Rachel and Chloe’s ambiguous relationship, but that’s not really what I want to talk about...for today at least. Instead, I want to talk about how this is so clearly a note written by a young woman who’s way over her head. She acknowledges that Chloe would find her relationship with Mark gross, and she then says that if Chloe freaked, “she wouldn’t blame her.” She then elaborates on this point by saying she has to keep her relationship with her teacher a secret because she knows that Chloe would be right to react with disgust. Max even says that Rachel sounded confused and ashamed about this relationship. 

But what's somehow even more alarming is Rachel referring to Mark as scary, and honestly, that just breaks my heart. We don't know what Mark did, but we know that Rachel had already been in a scary situation with an older man. In Frank's RV, we can find a letter where Rachel says that Frank went ballistic and frightened her. She was an eighteen-year-old girl, at the oldest, and in an RV with a drug dealer who was losing his shit. Then she meets Mark. Another older man who has power over her grades and future. She hooks up with him, but...she finds him scary too. We don't know what he said to make her this way. Or what he did. Or if Rachel just got a weird vibe...but she was in her second relationship in her young life with a man who scared her...and she was right to fear them both. Especially Mark. 

More Undercut

Rachel Amber was not a seductress. She was not a harlot sent to lead the men of Arcadia Bay astray. Rachel Amber was a victim. She was eighteen years old and dated men who had power over her, not just in their age, but in drugs and grades. She feared each of them, and no one could save her in time. She died in the darkroom. Overdosed on Frank's drugs while Mark took photos of her body. And yet...such a tragedy so often boiled down to "She hurt Chloe's feelings!"

As much as I love Chloe, that's not the worst thing to happen in this situation. The worst thing to happen is the grooming and subsequent murder. I know that’s kind of harsh phrasing, and I really hope I'm not coming off as overly critical, but I’ve noticed that Rachel’s relationship with Frank and Mark is often talked about in terms of how it affected Chloe instead of how it affected Rachel.

And while, yes, Chloe’s feelings were hurt, and that shouldn't be minimized, Rachel's relationships with these men affected Rachel more than anyone. That's not to say I'm opposed to talking about how Rachel's relationships hurt Chloe!!!! Because they did!!! I'm just saying that it makes me uneasy how Chloe is sometimes treated like the biggest victim of Rachel's relationships when Rachel is dead at the hands of the men who groomed her.

Sorry that I went off on a tangent at the end there, but I’ve never liked it when characters are boiled down to their romantic relationships, and I tend to think that what happened with Frank and Mark should be looked outside the lens of Amberprice a little. Just like I think Chloe deserves an analysis of who she is as a person outside the lens of Amberprice and/or Pricefield.

OKAY I have got to end this post because that was another tangent but quick thoughts: A: Rachel was a victim and it seeps through every letter of this note. B: Rachel deserved better. C: I wish the Mark/Frank situation wasn’t often boiled down to how it made Chloe feel. I feel like Rachel’s character is sometimes not given the analysis it deserves because of it. 

[theflyindutchwoman]

Everyone seems to think it was so romantic when Tim said "I can't lose you the way I lost her", but I honestly can't.

To me it implies that he's ok with losing Lucy in any other way, just not in that especific way he lost Isabel.

Like his biggest fear is not losing Lucy, is going through those traumatic events again.

Which is totally valid and understandable, but I fail see romance in that. I just see Isabel's shadow looming over their relationship.

I really enjoy your analysis, help me see what others see. Thanks!

To be honest, I don't know if romantic is the word I'd use either, though I can understand this perspective… I can't speak for others, of course, but what resonated with me is the humanity and the extreme vulnerability that Lucy and Tim portrayed in this scene. This is about them sharing their deepest fears and that is something incredibly intimate and personal. Important too.

To me it implies that he's ok with losing Lucy in any other way, just not in that especific way he lost Isabel. I mean, if you were to take this out of context, maybe… But as it is, this sentence doesn't exist in a vacuum. Never mind that we're talking about the same man who was ready to cross a line when Lucy was missing, who needed to embrace her for a while to reassure himself she was alive… Earlier in the episode, he practically had a heart attack watching her get shot at and was only able to breathe again once he saw she was unharmed. He was still so rattled that it almost cost him his life a few minutes later. So no, this isn't a man who is even remotely OK with losing her, regardless of the way. And I don't think this is what the writers intended to imply.

Let's get back to what Tim says : 'Listen, I need you to take it seriously if I ever sound the alarm about something. Otherwise, the pain of what I went through will have been for nothing, and I can't lose you the way I lost her'. There's something so profoundly human and relatable in how he is trying to find a meaning behind his pain. To convince himself that what he went through must have been for something. This is how many react after a tragedy or a trauma. And for him, the meaning is related to Lucy. In his mind, if his experience can help her avoid some of the pitfalls of undercover work, can ensure that they make it through, then his pain wouldn't have been for nothing… He's trying to find a way to turn a traumatic experience into something positive.

Like his biggest fear is not losing Lucy, is going through those traumatic events again. See, I understand this part a bit differently - I think his biggest fear is to see LUCY go through something like that. To lose HER that way. Watching the people you love lose themselves and their light fade away while being powerless to stop it, is soul crushing. It's brutal. He barely survived it with Isabel… Going through that all over again, with Lucy, who is so empathetic, who has been his light from the start, would be completely devastating. This isn't just reliving his trauma that terrifies him… It's reliving it with Lucy. And this fear is particularly tangible in that moment… Because Isabel just came back into his life. Everything is a bit more tender, more raw. Especially since they spent time talking about her time as an undercover agent. That had to stir up some memories. You can't erase life experience. And a few days later, Lucy had to go undercover… where she could have died. Tim can be very good at compartmentalising, but not so much when it comes to her. By the time they made it back to her apartment, he was reaching his boiling point. And fear took over.

I do think it was important for Lucy to make sure he understood she was different. Otherwise, it is unfair to her. And they needed to have this conversation. To set some boundaries. But I'm not really sure Isabel's shadow is looming over their relationship either… Until that episode, he had never said anything to indicate such a thing - with the exception of his outburst in 3.06. And notice that this was pre-relationship and right after his friend ODed. Other than that, he has been nothing but supportive, even going as far as encouraging Lucy to go to UC school. So it's not like there is a pattern. Yet. Who knows where this storyline will go.

The way I see it, relationships are not about perfection. It's about communicating even when it's hard, it's about choosing someone with all their flaws, not despite of them. It's about finding someone who can help you carry your baggage and who you can help carry theirs. Because we all have baggage. Some bigger than others, but we all do. And this is where I can see the romantic aspect. Because none of this is new to either of them. Lucy knew all about his hang-ups and Isabel and Tim knew all about her choice of doing undercover work. And yet, they both chose to take that leap of faith, they both believe that the other is worth the effort and the risk. They choose to communicate, even when their instincts would be to pretend that everything is alright. They choose each other and help each other when it's hard, when it gets uncomfortable… And that's romantic to me. I can understand if you feel differently though. I hope this answers your question :)

[carlyraejepsans]

Hmmm... Undyne?

undyne for the ask game?

favorite thing about them: i love love LOVE how trope-y she is. I can't think about her too hard, especially in the context of the geno run, my brain just stops working. goes into overdrive. her role as the true hero of the story and the tragedy and how she SHOULD win, she WOULD win, not just because it's the right thing, but because thematically, for the kind of story undertale wants to tell, she SHOULD win against undefeatable evil (think how we do basically that against flowey/asriel in TP) BUT SHE DOESN'T. SHE CAN'T. because she isn't the protagonist. and get backup plan doesn't work either. she dies in vain. they all do, but her case is even more painfully ironic.

least favorite thing about her: eehhh my only gripe with the writing is the fact that her dialogue doesn't make a distinction if you only killed monsters in the RUINs or not. or like, if you killed 1/2 common monsters instead of a dozen. it cheapens her impact as a character imo.

favorite line: "The brain's the biggest muscle of all!!!"

brOTP: PAPYRUS. PAPYRUS. PAPYRUS. BESTIES OF ALL TIME FR

OTP: Alphyne. 'nuff said 2, electric boogaloo.

nOTP: idk asgore?? that's her dad afaic. making it romantic is such a waste of a good dynamic.

random headcanon: asgore taught her to play piano and she starts giving papyrus lessons on the surface as well :] they play together sometime. and when they're not competing to make the most noise, it actually sounds really, really good.

unpopular opinion: look i love when people make undyne butch in fanart and fic, we need more butch characters in this world, but canon undyne is NOT butch LMAOOO. she's just kinda masc

song i associate with them: gonna be bland and say Legends Never Die, lol. also Leave a Light On by Tom Walker for the alphyne feels

favorite pic of them: the cover of the piano collection where she's playing for everyone. it's very pretty, and i love the watercolor. honestly, all her illustrations in the piano collection music sheet book

[seregios-seer]

Monster Review: Dalamadur

So, it's been a good while, but I'm back and starting off big! Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate was my first ever game in the series, and young me didn't get much further than the single player campaign, and that is frankly a tragedy because if I'd encountered this thing when I was 10 it would have shattered my kid brain. The presentation behind Dalamadur is exactly what an end game monster deserves, right on par with World's cutscenes for the black dragons. I kid you not I had shivers entering this fight for the first time because of how badass the cutscene was. The design for this monster is top tier by far, taking an incredibly simple creature, and giving it a unique scale ridge and arms is such an easy change but also so famn memorable. I actively have to try and keep this intro short because I could (and probably will) rant about Dalamadur and how much I love it for several stand alone posts. When I first beat this fight, with well under 5 minutes left and no clue if I was even close, I sat there for literal minutes, staring at my ceiling and wrote quite literally a full (I think 2-3k word) essay to my friends about how incredible this capstone fight is.

4u (IG): It's gonna be hard to keep this to a purely mechanical review, but I'll damn well try. The first thing to talk about is just how fighting this colossus even works, which is where one of biggest strengths and weakness of this fight both come into play. The ability to climb on Dalamadur, jumping on and off at the bottom and top of a massive rock spire is a surreal experience, and gives great, and in most fights the only, access to body parts for breaking. Being able to leap onto Dalamadur's head from so high up really sells the massive size of the monster, and it's just incredible. There is however a pressing issue with Dalamadur's size, and that would be the tedium in running around the map after it. This fight is incredible, and certainly feels it, but it's also consistently about 40-50 minutes, and over that time, there's a good deal where you'll just be running from end to end trying to get a hit in before Dalamadur moves again. It's a notable gripe, but ultimatley won't hurt Dalamadur's rating because of just how amazing the rest of the fight is. For Dalamadur's actual attacks, the majority being physical is both fitting and terrifying. During the periods where Dalamadur sits on the upper left and right of the arena, not coiled around the spire, it can swing its arms in just a casual sweep, and that attack hits like a truck. It's not impossible to dodge, and is rarely followed up quick enought to set a kill, but it can come damn close. Dalamadur's sliding across the stage is perhaps its weakest attack, only dealing a small amount of damage, if it even connects, but this attack does run interferance for a move I'll discuss later. I was actually unaware of this, as it had never come up in any of my fights, but apparently standing too close to the head risks paralysis from Dalamadur's tongue, which I can't evaluate without personal experience, but that sounds terrifying. The tail also poses a threat, but really only if you are actively attacking it, which can honestly be an infuriating process when farming for drops due to how much it moves. But the tail attacks in much the same way as the arms, with a sweep that deals less damage, but is certainly nothing to scoff at. The last physical attack worth talking about is the scariest by far, Dalamadur's bite rush. Dalamadur sets its head, coils, and springs forward, twisting to the side as it goes, slamming its jaws on anything so unfortunate to get in the way. This attack is massive, incredibly fast after the windup period, and almost certain death. With armor from well into G Rank I would routinely be carted if I was hit by this attack unless I was at peak health. This attack is awe inspiring, grandiose, and among my favorite attacks in the full game. It doesn't feel unfair, it feels balanced in all the right ways while also being the peak threat of the entire fight. Dalamadur is not, however, fully physical, and has a host of incredible energy attacks, foremost being the meteor swarm. The meteors Dalamadur summons will rain in droves during several periods of the fight, and give a kind of white shrinking display to show where they'll fall, with some tracking the hunter, forcing them to stay moving. These meteors are terrifying if you're unprepared, but if you stay moving, you should escape unscathed. This is where Dalamadur's movement becoems a threat, as that's typically when most meteors fall, and being stumbled into the path of a meteor is a considerable threat, so avoid the snake's body. Dalamadur is also capable of producing fireballs (that I don't think are actually elemental) that it aims at hunters from its mouth. These blasts are, in my experience, wildly inaccurate in my experience, and hardly much of a threat, more a spectacle than anything. Dalamadur's chest can also give off a heat barrier, much like Teostra when the snake is enraged, which deals slow, constant damage. This barrier isn't much a threat on its own, but when it prepares a stronger attack, the damage taken from ignoring this flame aura can be just enough to send you packing to base camp.

Rating: 10/10

What the hell do you mean the meownster hunters have discovered a new target?

[kittymaine]

The Husky & His White Cat Shizun Vol. 5 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou

I finally got around to reading The Husky & His White Cat Shizun Vol. 5 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. With this book, I think I'm caught up on the recent books I've bought, and I'm going to have to start digging into my back list now. I'm trying not to sound like I'm suffering.

This book picks up with the wedding of Nangong Si and Song Quitong fast approaching. Somebody has started spreading a rumor that Song Quitong has been cheating on Nangong Si with Ye Wangxi, her original rescuer. During a banquet thrown on the night before the wedding, a strange masked man appears to make the same accusations, saying in front of all the sects of the cultivation world that Song Quitong has been unfaithful, and the wedding shouldn't go forward. It causes a wild commotion in the hall, all the other sects hungry to see the biggest and richest sect in the upper realm suffer such a public humiliation. But, before the truth of Song Quitong's betrayal can be revealed, a huge commotion begins in the fields behind the banquet hall, as a rift straight to the infinite hells is opened. Could it be that the true enemy will finally be revealed?

ANYWAY! As usual. I'll talk about this book under the cut, since I don't want to spoil this book for anyone who hasn't read it, but I really need to scream about this book to someone.

This book was such a bait and switch, though not in a bad way. I went into the book thinking this was going to be a little diversionary story about Nangong Si and Ye Wangxi. And, it was, for a little bit! Honestly, I didn't think I would care much about the whole Rufeng Sect thing, but once I realized what was really happening, I was hooked. I had been wondering why Nangong Si and Ye Wangxi didn't show up muck in fanfic and I guess I have my answer now. Though, it makes me kind of sad. Ye Wangxi is so tragic, how she's been used and abused by Nangong Lu, what's been done to her voice and body. We don't really get to see how she feels about any of it and we don't get to see where the three of them get to after the fire (Nangong Si, Ye Wangxi and Song Quitong), but I'm really curious. I wish there was more fan content for Ye Wangxi. I kind of want to hunt it down, but I don't want to spoil stuff for myself.

Then, oh my god, that twist in the middle with Xu Shuanglin? That was brutal, but also I was fucking living. My primary theory so far is that Luo Fenghua and Xu Shuanglin had some kind of complicated love affair. Why else would he steal his spiritual core? I was on the same wavelength with Mo Ran, assuming that he plans to use rebirth on him. It's the only thing that fits all the loose pieces of the puzzle we have floating around.

And then the interlude at the end with Mo Ran and Chu Wanning and yet another cute little ramshackle cabin. OMG y'all there was only one bed, who could imagine! I hate how this book can wind me up into little knots with the will-they-won't-they tug of war that happens when these two finally get a chance alone. They both are aware that they like each other! Mo Ran put down so many invitations! But, they're both such little cowards, they won't make a move. Until, you know, finally Mo Ran took the plunge. I'm so proud of him, my sweet little guy. The image of the two of them sitting on that stupid sword in the sky and Chu Wanning telling him "I'm ugly. I'm no good." I felt like my heart was dying, like god please someone kiss this man he's breaking my heart. I mean, I think he definitely broke Mo Ran's heart with all that. It's so brutal that the depth of his own tragedy is still landing. Like, not only did you love him, yet tortured him to death, he also loved you and still let you do all that to him. The part where Mo Ran's tear dropped onto Chu Wanning as he kissed his cheek took my heart and threw it on the ground and did a tap dance on it.

Like, fuck, dog. You don't gotta do me like that.

Anyway... ANYWAY! I ordered the next volume already. And the cover has them both in white in front of a verdant green background. THEY'RE MARRIED ALREADY GUYS, but that's okay, my body is ready for the pain.

[autisticempathydaemon]

For the Redacted match-up! ^_^

A song I’m currently fixated on: “the lakes” by Taylor Swift. The whole song is just so beautiful and wistful. 😭 And something about the melody of these lyrics just hits so right.

Specific lyrics: “I want auroras and sad prose/I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet/Cause I haven’t moved in years/And I want you right here”

Enneagram type: 6w7. (And just for fun, I’m an ISFP as well)

YouTube essays: I don’t think I can focus my attention on a video for that long, tbh. It’s the same reason I can rarely get through movies in one siting. 😂

Imaginary childhood friend: I think her name was Amy? Don’t remember much else, though.

Falling asleep: I always sleep with my fan on, no matter the weather. I have to have the white noise, otherwise it’s just too damn quiet in my room. Usually I’m propped up by two pillows, cuddling one of my stuffed animals or something. If find that I can’t sleep, or just want something to fall asleep to, I’ll put on one of Redacted’s sleep-aids.

Name change: Cheesy as it sounds, if I didn’t have my current name, I’d love to be named Juliet. It just has such Main Character Energy™️ (and I mean that in a good way) and is freakin’ romantic as hell to me. (And yes, I’m aware that the play is a tragedy, not a romance. 😂)

Favorite Redacted audio: If I had to pick one, I think “Serenity Daemon Helps You Relax and Sleep”. That video is just so freaking comforting and sweet, and it’s knocked me out more times than I can count.

Redacted boi with no appeal: Regulus. Yanderes just aren’t my thing, and he legit scares me. 😅

Book/Movie/TV show you could quote entirely: I’ve watched The Breakfast Club so many times, I could quote it forwards, backwards, and sideways.

Redacted BFF: Elliott. Take away the “Lovers” aspect of his relationship with Sunshine, but keep all the playfulness, teasing, and banter that they have together, and I’d be perfectly happy. 😊

(It’s also a really perfect coincidence that Eli’s said he’s the “Protector” type, and I just so happen to like being protected. XD)

Go-to tired ramble: Most of the time when my any of my friends and I would have a sleepover and it was late at night, we’d just get really deep and start talking about life.

Go-to gas station combo: I try to avoid gas stations when I can, just because I hate the smell of gasoline. But I’d probably get a plain Hershey bar and a bottle of water. (I know, I’m boring. 😂)

Favorite playlist: Do you mean Redacted, or just in general? Because the answer depends.

For a general answer, Jacksepticeye’s play through of Night In The Woods. That game is honestly such a comfort one for me, and I can watch that playlist a million times over and never get tired of it.

In terms of Redacted, Ollie’s. If there’s angst abound on the channel, or I’ve just had a bad day at work or something, I can run to his playlist and feel like I’m getting a big, warm, metaphorical hug. 🥰

Guilty Pleasure: I still read, and love, young adult novels. I don’t care that they’re “predictable”, and that I’m “too old to be reading them”. You can pry those fluffy, romantic, cheesy-ass books from my cold dead hands. 😆

Anything else about me:

I seriously think I’m the biggest Swiftie I know. When I say I’m obsessed with her music, I am not kidding. 😂

I’m a huge musical nerd. And coupled with that, I love, love, love to sing. (Provided I know that no one’s listening, anyway.)

I’m a total introvert, and am pretty shy/quiet in general, unless I’m around my friends.

My love languages are quality time and physical touch.

I maaaaay or may not have a slight candle obsession. (Bath and Body Works ones, specifically.) Seriously, I have like, four unburned 3-wick candles sitting on my dresser, and I’m convinced I just like to collect/look at them as opposed to actually lighting the things. 😂

I’m a cat person through and through

This one’s random, but I felt like adding it anyway. I basically live in one beat up pair of combat boots. There are not a lot of shoes in my closet.

I have this thing where I either tear through a TV series in like, a few days, or I don’t touch it for months. The same with books. I don’t know why I do that. 😂

My favorite colors are blue and purple 💙💜

Well, if you’re a cat kind of guy (gn), you know that’s gonna make things easy for me! Though it might not be the boy you think, because I’ve got a case to make for you and Milo Greer.

What I really like about y’all is how the things y’all like (other than cats) contrast and how cute that contrast is. Like, I don’t think Milo’s a Swiftie but man shows up and shows out to take you to her Eras tour. The Breakfast Club isn’t his favorite movie, but he’s seen it with Marie; he’ll say the iconic lines with you when y’all watch it for the hundredth time. He doesn’t really love musicals but he can hum along to Alexander Hamilton with the best of them because that’s an ensemble piece and you need a backup singer.

Milo’s just a really great boyfriend who shows love with a combination of Quality Time and Acts of Service with little sprinkles of Gifts. It’s not just time spent with you, it’s time spent engaging in the things that interest you and make you happy. It’s the time thinking of you when you’re apart and bringing home fun, new candles he saw at the store. Although he is definitely not opposed to physical touch- y’all have a lot of cuddle nights, just you and him and Aggro.

Song:

However big, however small/ Let me be part of it all/ Share your dreams with me/ You may be right, you may be wrong/ But say that you'll bring me along/ To the world you see/ To the world I close my eyes to see

Now, I said Milo’s not really a musical man. You know what he is? A bisexual king with good taste, which means he loves you and a good Hugh Jackman flick especially since Zac Efron is involved. So I think he’s a big fan of The Greatest Showman and of singing the addictive, earworm-y songs with you. A Million Dreams is the sentimental choice, but y’all go fuckin hard to This is Me.

Runner-Ups:

Guy is absolutely a Swiftie and a musical theater kid, okay? Erik hasn’t confirmed it, but I know it in my spleen to be true, so he’s a fantastic runner-up for that reason. Vincent is a runner-up because he adores but despises that you stick to one pair of torn-up shoes and constantly showers you in luxury footwear. I think that’s cute.

note: I understand you completely candles are not just scent pieces they are decor

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i think one of the biggest reasons i refuse to take anything LL presents to me in good faith morality-wise is that just, everything about the vatborn--completely leaving aside the trueborn or mogadorians as a whole--is a hundred percent on par with what happened to lorien for sheer scale and depth of tragedy and horror. in very different ways, yes--apples to oranges, i'm not going to say one is worse--but on par.

and not only do neither the heroes or the narrative ever acknowledge this. they act like it's a good thing.

[cw: genocide, war crimes, racism, fascism, slavery, torture, child abuse, dehumanization, apologia for all of it after the cut. basically, the usual lmao]

or at least, a totally neutral and casual one (although they will still never call it what it is by name). the vatborn, who are universally abused, beaten, tortured, brainwashed child soldiers and actual fucking chattel slaves, aren't people. they are subhuman. their suffering doesn't matter. they can't be rehabilitated for any kind of peaceful life. they are barely more than mindless animals. they are vermin to be disposed of without a thought, while their actual slavers get far more mercy, compassion, and humanization than they do (which holy shit is saying something).

the only, ONLY person in the entire series who thinks it matters that they're people; that it's fucked up to have been taught that killing them in front of him as a small child was unremarkable; who feels uncomfortable with ordering them around and is worried about getting one of them in trouble; who questions the ideology he grew up in that said otherwise; is a deluded, naive, easily-manipulated, selfish race traitor who is treated with rabid murderous hatred for it for the rest of his life.

they and their culture--yes, culture, we see that they have developed some of their own under the trueborns' noses--are eradicated from existence because they 'didn't know any better,' and no one bats an eyelash before or after. it's fine because without their extinction they'd eradicate everyone else. and the method of their creation, both knowledge and resources, is lost.

there will never be another living vatborn again.

all of this is true, say the writers. all of this is fine. and to that i say: does any of that rhetoric sound familiar?

like. honestly, there are some REALLY strong foils and parallels to be made between the loric and the vatborn, right down to the scars versus the tattoos:

(which, of course, no one has jack shit to say about. in the slightest. then or ever. 🙃)

what they should have done--and i don't mean 'here's a way they might have handled it,' i mean the only thing they could have done, period--to make any of the protagonists actually decent people would have been to make them have a massive group-wide crisis the INSTANT they found out what the vatborn are. that should have been one of THE central conflicts in the series from that point forward. 'we are having to slaughter child soldier slaves, who have no choice in the matter, en masse in self-defense. we have no idea how to make it stop without letting ourselves be overrun. we have been doing this for a long time and we never even knew. fuck. jesus fuck' should absolutely fucking haunt a good majority of your protagonists, even if it takes until after the war when survival mode disengages for it to hit, or else you have a cast full of just plain evil cunts and i am not going to root for them no matter how many planets they save. fuck that.

like. for all the writers and characters hammer on about how ~we're not like them uwu,~ they ARE. the perspective we're meant to sympathize with IS the mogadorians, just reskinned with craft-beer-and-brick-pizza-ovens-appreciate-nature-uwu neoliberal fascism instead of ham-handed right-wing stereotypes.

(which, the 'respect for the planet and nature' thing? bullshit. the entity colonizes and terraforms the ENTIRE EARTH. it does this without asking a single ass human if they're okay with it; marina even points this out, which is immediately dismissed lol. the entity destroys pretty much the entire fossil record of the earth, all the way down. the writers don't give a fuck about respecting or preserving nature. it's just a cover for the sky-high platter of genocidal ecofascism they're trying to push through.)

one of the central themes of lorien legacies is supposed to be 'mourn the dead, fight like hell for the living.' and one of, again, the central conflicts of the series from RoS onward should have been the moral dilemma of realizing that the vatborn are some of the living to fight like hell for, and having no fucking idea how to do that without giving everything else up for lost. instead the moral becomes 'fight like hell for the living, as long as they look enough like me and aren't Icky and i don't have any personal baggage about them, and also as long as they came out of a vagina.'

and like. the really insidious thing about how they frame the mogs versus everyone else--how they try to excuse and distract you from the evil shit the protagonists and their buddies say and do--is that they go 'well i mean sure, they're racist and ableist and genocidal and [laundry list of awful], and have less than no basic fucking decency or compassion toward the Acceptable Group of People, but also they're kind and caring and heroic and nice to other people!' whereas the mogs read as the authors having looked up a Traits of Fascist Societies checklist to hammer into their story without actually understanding how fascism works.

actual fascist societies aren't cartoonishly hateful, joyless, loveless, and sadistically rubbing their hands together over their Evil Plotting on every level of society, every day, with everyone around them. like. it doesn't fucking happen. i don't care how cultish it is, i don't care how rabidly hateful you can whip a movement up to be, you can fuck a society and its norms up horrifically but you CANNOT do that with 99% total success rate on that scale. you know what happens with actual fascism? with hate groups, with colonialism, with genocide?

most of them are, in some aspects of their lives, 'good people.' they pet puppies, they're loving spouses and parents, they're kind and respected members of their community. i'm nice, they think. i'm a Good Person. i care.

and they are completely caught off guard when they are held accountable for the other things they did with their lives, because it doesn't fucking matter how many puppies you pet when you make yourself complicit in genocide. you extend basic human decency to your family and people you happen to find likeable and acceptable, and none of whom you have emotional baggage toward as a group? cool motive, still a war criminal, still blood on your hands.

which, by the way, is another vile thing they try to push through here. 'i'm racist because muh war trauma so i get a blank check to commit atrocities, cut me some slack' is, y'know. famously not a justification used for any horrific mass war crimes in countries invaded by, say, the U.S. in the last few decades alone. vietnam? iraq? are those some kind of chopped liver?

and the fact that they try to hide this shit behind 'well they're genocide survivors and teenagers, you can't expect them to be mature about their war trauma 🥺' is just contrived bullshit to get away with this rhetoric, which is even more obvious when every now and then they try to act like the characters are in their mid-20s or something instead of, you know. 15-18. teenagers are not the ones making these calls irl, pal. they're not the ones devising war tactics or taking out tons of people by themselves in one go. they're not the ones making legislation about what to do with the enemies after the war. are there garde who have to wear a bikini for their photosynthesis legacy too, by any chance

(this is an ESPECIALLY bad look in the context of the vietnam war in particular, considering how frighteningly, violently, genocidally racist these books are toward every fucking east asian country in their line of sight lmao. like holy shit dude it's BAD and this is just another shit in the bucket)

(ETA: HOLY SHIT WOW THE VIETNAM PARALLEL MAKES THE THING WITH JOHN CATCHING A LARGE CONCENTRATION OF MOGS OFF GUARD TO INCINERATE THEM ALL WITH HIS FLAMETHROWER POWERS--BECAUSE 'NOW THEY KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE CAUGHT BY SURPRISE,' NO LESS--SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE EL EM AY OH)

anyway yeah, despite supposedly being a critique of fascism these books are fascist as shit, and it is impossible for me to look at the protagonists being Caring and Compassionate, and Fighting for Peace and Justice and Preservation of All Things Good in the World, without just seeing this:

as usual i have many, many more thoughts about this, and as usual they are for other posts because this one is hella long already, but tl;dr the vatborn deserved better and are pretty much the perfect distillation of why my approach to this series' authors and what they are trying to communicate with their story is 'stay back slut' lmao

[justmybookthots]

2024 MID-YEAR BOOK FREAKOUT TAG

Best book you’ve read so far in 2024?

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn, probably. It was this or Prisoner's Throne but I can't deny Legendborn is a better and more unique novel overall. I still remember being super gobsmacked when I was done with it. That said, I haven't been enjoying Bloodmarked very much, which is really disappointing. 

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2024?

The Prisoner's Throne by Holly Black. Was it as good as The Stolen Heir? Not really. But in no shape or form was it bad. I still enjoyed it thoroughly because I love Oak and Wren –- and also we got to see Cardan and Jude again!  

New release you haven’t read yet but want to?

There's a lot but one in particular is The Midnight Feast by Lucy Foley. I loved the fuck out of The Guest List and I did enjoy The Paris Apartment by her last year (or was it 2022??), so I'm really hyped about The Midnight Feast. I have heard it's getting mixed reviews, though, but by specific booktubers with established book tastes that differ from mine so…

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year?

Even though the author has disappointed me with her other book release earlier this year, I am most looking forward to A Song to Drown Rivers by Ann Liang. It's weird because it's supposed to be a tragedy (which I don't like reading) and a love triangle (which I'm meh about), but it's her first fantasy and the premise sounds really delicious so I definitely want to give it a shot. Comes out during my birthday month too! 

Biggest disappointment?

Speaking of Ann Liang, my biggest disappointment is definitely I Hope This Doesn't Find You. I've already reviewed it so I won't say anymore, other than the fact that I was so crushed because it had such good reviews and also because This Time It's Real is one of my favourite books of all time. I hope I won't get crushed again with her next release…

Biggest surprise?

Dead Silence by S. A. Barnes. Even now I'm flabbergasted by how much I loved it. It was the first sci-fi horror I'd ever read and I ended up getting super invested in the main cast which was unexpected. For me, thrillers and horror books are less about characters you want to root for and more about the plot/shock value, which is why I couldn't believe how much I loved the heroine and her space crew. It's a gnarly situation for me as a reader considering their fates… 

Favourite new author (debut or new to you)?

S. A. Barnes or Riley Sager. I went on a Sager binge starting from December last year to February of 2024 and I really loved his books. There's still two of his books I haven't read though, including the one that just came out this year.

Newest fictional crush?

Oak Greenbriar?? But can he be considered new when I already loved him last year? But if not him, then there's no one else, probably. I don't give my heart out easily, and honestly I haven't had the best reading year this year… even though I've read 44 books. It's kinda depressing, lol. 

[pussyhoundspock]

Hi! Is there one of Duong Thu Huong’s books that you would recommend starting with? Paradise of the Blind seems like the big one but I have been enjoying your book takes so interested to hear!

honestly, i think she's just like soooooo talented that you should start with whatever book sounds like the most interesting to you! my personal favorite novel by her is the zenith but i also loved paradise of the blind so truly don't think you can go wrong! the zenith was the book that was an immediate top ten novels ever for me and also made me wish i spoke more than like really basic vietnamese so i didn't have to read a translation -- that's always the biggest tragedy of not being fluent in every single language ever for me. i can't read books in their original language. but yeah i absolutely love her writing i think her prose is incredible, the characters absolutely come alive, i think she writes with such subtlety and kindness and her novels are just like so sharp and compelling and tragic and i literally cannot put them down. i could talk about the zenith for like ten million more paragraphs but ill stop here SLDKFJSLDFJ

[eternalglitch]

Basically, Passerine is the most popular fanfic on Ao3 under Dream SMP Fandom. It has 2738783 hits and 78457 kudos as of right now. It's only 7 chapters long, but has a word count of 76,375, so it's basically a long road of pain and misery. The story is detached from Dream SMP entirely, the only things tying this story to the fandom are characters and headcanons about them. The author took one of the most prominent and beloved groups from Dream SMP fandom called SBI - Sleepy Bois Inc, which consists of Wilbur Soot, Technoblade, Philza Minecraft and Tommyinnit, as the main characters. The headcanons which were used as the base for this story are that Philza is a ruler of Antarctic Empire, he and Technoblade are immortals and they closely know each other, and Phil has two sons - Wilbur and Tommy, who are decidedly not immortal...

It's been a little while since I read it, but I can say that this story revolves around found family and a lot of tragedy. It's honestly a wild ride and I loved every second of it. The ending left all the readers absolutely floored. It's a fanfic which reached outside of it's fandom with just how brilliant it is. You can read it while not being in the fandom and still understand everything abd feel for the characters. If you ever find yourself looking for something to read, I definitely recommend it.

This fanfic even reached a lot of content creators on Dream SMP, and they read it and complimented how great it is. There is also a TON of fanart for it along with the biggest number of animatics, I've ever seen for a fanfiction. That also includes an entire animatic from the most famous artist in Dream Smp community - SAD-ist.

(I also apologize for any mistakes in grammar and punctuation because I'm not native English speaker, and I also tend to make a lot of mistakes when a happy-ramble about something I'm passionate about)

Some of these writers should just write an original book, I swear haha. I don't know if I'll check it out, but maybe someone here wants to! It does sound like tropes people here go wild for :}

Also I love English non-native speakers because you guys tend to use perfect grammar and punctuation and then I can't make half sense of what native speakers type sometimes.

Never mind what my Japanese or Spanish typing looks like lmao I think I resorted once to saying "the honey bug" for bee when talking to someone.

[earliestlight]

Endwalker + Sorrow of Werlyt Spoilers

I’ve seen a lot of criticisms against Gaius’ redemption and the Garlemald section of EW that ultimately come down to “person/thing is bad and evil and should never be redeemed”/ “writers are trying to make me feel bad for shitty people and I refuse” and I genuinely do not enjoy that as a basis for criticism, because the implication is that the premise of “can this person change/be better/improve/etc” is inherently flawed, especially when fiction is the perfect place to explore those kinds of questions 

I genuinely love the Garlemald section of EW, it legit might be my favorite section of the expansion. There are absolutley valid criticisms of that section and I think a lot of people were hoping for more than they got, which is fair. But never once did I personally feel like the writers were, gun to my head, being like “dont you feel bad? Ignore that they’re imperialists and look at how sad they are!” (which I’ve seen some criticisms claim they felt this way). Instead I felt like Imperialism was absolutley the focus and worked as a continuation of Stormblood’s message of “this is how Imperialism damages everyone it touches”. The tragedy to me in that section of the game is how delusional many of the people you interact with are and how so incredibly brainwashed they are by their own propaganda (which you as the player know is built upon foundation that the Empire was designed from the very beginning to fail) that they would rather die than accept help. I genuinely think in that regard the writing does a good job. (also genuinely think Garlemald rivals Amaurot in terms of atmosphere, because holy crap when you first descend into Tertium, the sound design is *chef’s kiss* top notch) 

Gaius’ redemption arc really fell short because it felt like it lacked any nuance, and did feel a lot more like the writing was going “yeah but look how sad he is now”. I mean...I think Valens is fun in how hammy and absurdly evil he is, but its so clear that he’s written that way to make Gaius look better by comparison. Like honestly the way Gaius seemed so affronted by the “evils of the Empire” defied belief, and was probably, imho, the biggest offender and detriment to his arc. Also so much of the writing was like...characters actively spelling out the ways in which Gaius had improved/was an honorable man all along, which just added to the redemption feeling ham-fisted

which is truly such a shame, because I am all for him having growth and changing for the better! Not to mention the cutscene directing in SoW was excellent and the composition and lighting of some scenes was fantastic! It genuinely had so much love put into the presentation! 

[snootsnoot-fiction]

Your Gentleman

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None really

A/n: My first marvel fic yay!!! I love that it’s Bucky as well☺️ This is a birthday gift for my dear friend who I love @inthatmomentwewereinfinite 🎉🎉🎉 you’re honestly one of the nicest people on the planet, I hope you have the best day you can ❤️

Summary: You haven’t seen Bucky in years…

The life of one James Buchanan Barnes was quite the tragedy. At least for the most part.It was a long, involuntary life, but to say he wouldn’t be the least bit grateful for the majority time skip would be a lie. Oh, there were things “Bucky” Barnes missed of course, but there was plenty to make up for it.

The man thought he would lead a simple life; serve in the war, get married with Steve as his best man, maybe even die of old age. A far cry from the fate that really awaited him, for he found himself being part of the Red Skull’s experiment. An experiment that began his journey as who would infamously be known as The Winter Soldier. 

~~~~~

You were quite the artist to say the least. You lived and enjoyed a fairly quiet life as well. That’s not to say your talents weren’t sought out, for you were also quite the fashion designer. Sometimes you would simply consult. Create and draw up a design for someone else to make. Occasionally you would make the pieces yourself. It was an interesting way of making money, and you were happy to keep living your quiet life - your involvement usually kept secret in some way at your request.

Needless to say, one of the biggest things you ever worked on was the new suit for Captain America. You found his tale fascinating. You knew of the man, but it wasn’t until you heard he was back that you looked into him a little more. Strange things seemed to be happening more often.

The detail of his best friend’s supposed ‘death’ was another thing that interested you, but all anyone could assume was he actually was dead now. It didn’t stop you from wondering though.

You did work on occasion for people such as The Avengers, but aside from that, you were a normal citizen. So to say you were surprised when you caught the eye of Mr Barnes in modern day was an understatement.

Recognising him immediately, you weren’t sure what to do. He looked beyond exhausted, and it was clear to you he was trying to keep his head down. The man carried on, and despite thinking you probably shouldn’t, you followed. The next thing you knew, a cold arm was pinning you against a wall as the one and only James Barnes stared at you. Up close, his eyes looked even tireder, and you could see just how rough a state he was in.

“Why are you following me?” He huffed out. Anyone could see how tense he was. Almost afraid.

“I’m no-one I swear! I just recognised you and got curious… you’re Bucky?” He slowly let you go, but remained tense. “I don’t even know what happened… you look awful…” you frowned slightly as you gave him a proper look. You really had no idea what was going on, but you felt bad for him. Whatever happened to this man, you were glad to not know right now. 

~~ a few months later ~~

You wondered how people would react to finding out about you helping ‘The Winter Soldier’. The thought made you nervous sometimes, but you knew what you were doing to be right. Something in you from the moment you met him told you he himself was at no fault, but of course, not everyone would see it that way.

The day you met him, you had ended up giving him a fresh change of clothes that would help him to blend in more. You had offered more, even a meal, but trust would take time to build, and he didn’t want to stick around you too long. 

‘Too many innocent people…’ was all he muttered before giving thanks and leaving without a word.

‘I’m happy to help…’ you hadn’t been sure if he even heard you, but surprisingly it wasn't long before you saw him again; with time, the two of you built a sense of trust. Bucky would never stay too long, but when he did you would allow him to use your own facilities if he needed, You would make him a warm meal almost every time, and give him another fresh change of clothes if he needed them.

Trust takes time though, and you didn’t know much of the story of why he was even here. You didn’t want to push or pry, but you couldn’t help but wonder sometimes. 

Today was the day you’d learn.

The old soldier hesitantly stepped into your home. It always made you frown a little to see just how hesitant he was; whatever it was he was hiding from, you wish he didn’t have to.

“I know you don’t like to, but I made my sofa up for you just in case-”

“Sofa? The couch?” You went a little red and chuckled nervously.

“Yeah sorry, I didn’t grow up here..” and for the first time, you saw him smile. It was little, but it was there. It made your heart flutter just a bit, causing you to smile.

“I might take you up on that.” His words were quiet as he walked in to see the couch. You had set a single, plump pillow on one end, and laid your biggest blanket over the piece of furniture. Bucky had been so hesitant to talk even one word to anyone, nevermind taking refuge from someone, but he couldn’t even remember the last time he had a nice place or spot to sleep. Not only that, but you seemed genuine to him. Deep down he knew he could trust you. Your smile widened.

“Are you hungry?” At your question, he looked back at you with a small nod. The tired look in his eyes made you want to really look after him, but there was only so much you could do and you didn’t want to startle him.

That night, you sat on opposite ends of the couch as you ate a freshly cooked meal, some sitcom on the TV. Eventually you decided to ask him what had happened to land him here. There was no pressure to answer of course, and you were more than willing to forget you asked if he didn’t yet feel comfortable to tell his story… but he did. You listened patiently and quietly as Bucky talked about The Winter Soldier.

Little did you know just how far you had already fallen for this man.

~~ Avengers Civil War ~~

After hiding for so long, Bucky had to admit there was something refreshing about now being out in the open.Of course, the circumstances were most unfortunate, but whatever happened, he would no longer be in hiding. Therefore he wouldn’t be putting you in any more potential danger. The two of you had grown quite close, and if anything happened to you because of him, well.. he didn’t like to think about it.

People like himself existed and had been used to assassinate King T’Chaka, and now the group his best friend Steve had put together were trying to get to the guy behind all of this. Unfortunately Tony Stark had created an obstacle for them. The old soldier could see that both men were somewhat regretful, but firm in their beliefs. Before he knew it, the fighting had begun.

Bucky and Sam Wilson had hidden in the airport terminal to start when this kid in a red and blue costume came at them. Sam knocked the kid away, so Bucky ran after them, and when he reached them, he saw an opening and threw a chunk of metal at the weirdly flexible kid. Naturally this kid was able to throw it right on back before being tackled by Wilson again.

Reaching the both of them just in time, Bucky ran between them as the spider kid flung himself at Sam, landing both the men in the floor below and his metal arm in some sort of.. webbing. The old soldier hated the fact they ended up in this position because of a child who didn’t even sound as though he had hit puberty yet. That’s when the kid was thrown out the window by the little robot bird.

“You couldn’t have done that earlier?” he growled at Sam, genuinely annoyed with the guy.

“I hate you.” Bucky merely scoffed at the response. They were in the middle of something big, but for a brief moment he found it funny that Steve’s new friend was this guy of all people.

Despite all this, you were still there. In his mind. With everything now in the open, he hoped your part in all of this was still in the dark. He just wanted you safe. To live your life.

~~ present time ~~

To Bucky, it almost felt like his past had repeated somewhat; to skip from one time to the other was confusing and frustrating. At least this time around it wasn’t as far into the future as the last time.

For you, however, it was a lonely experience. With The Snap, you had stayed behind. You lived out those five years. You had found a connection with this older guy you absolutely adored, and then you find out he was snapped out of existence along with half the planet. Lonely was an understatement, especially at the start.

At least he didn’t physically die - a fact you turned out to be grateful for when suddenly all those who had been Snapped were back. Of course, you knew the type of life Bucky led beforehand, so you were still worried, but you hoped with time he would contact you again. That hopefully things had finally calmed down at least somewhat in the world now. 

Meanwhile, in the last five years you had moved to New York. With half the world gone, work had been a difficult adjustment for everyone, and you decided to start your own little business in The Big Apple; a prime area for you. It was just a little fashion/clothing business, but it turned out well enough to keep you afloat. Business got quite busy when everyone reappeared. It was stressful at first, but you managed to hire a few other people that helped. You were even able to start taking a little time to yourself occasionally in all due time. Eventually it became the norm.

With business and the world calming down, Bucky Barnes had been on your mind recently. You wondered where he was, if he was alright.

You were in your store. It was a weirdly calm day today, so you sat on a chair behind the main cash register. You heard the door open, but by the time you looked up, the person had disappeared behind one of the clothing racks. You thought about keeping an eye on them, ready to get up if it looked like they needed assistance.

“I got ‘im.” One of your workers said from behind you, offering a smile as she walked past you.

“Thanks.” You smiled back, watching her hover near whoever the customer was before looking back down at the book in your hands. You seemed to get quite into the book, because before you knew  it, a shadow stood over you, but you didn’t notice until he spoke.

“Hey..” the voice caused your heart to stop as your ears perked and a weird yet pleasant shiver flew down your spine. You knew that voice. You knew eventually you would see him again, but it was still a surprise.

Slowly, you closed the book, and your eyes dragged up until they were on that same face you had last seen way over five years ago now. His hair was short now, but it was him alright. It was Bucky.

The man offered a small smile and wave as you stared at him. You had no idea what to do.

“Uh.. this your place?”

“Yeah…”

“You’ve done well.”

“I’ve had a lot of time.” Your responses were automatic. Your mind was blank.

“Uuhh..”

“Bucky?” You stared at him with wide eyes, your voice triggered a slightly wider smile on his lips as he nodded.

“It’s been a while.” His words made you scoff loudly.

“You’re telling me!” The both of you chuckled. The last five years had felt so long for you, but the two of you were already falling back into your old dynamic.

“... Listen Y/N.. all that old stuff.. The Winter Soldier stuff… it’s gone now.” His words made you smile for him. You knew how much his past had troubled him. You doubted it was completely out of the way, but you knew what he meant.

“No more hiding?”

“No more hiding.” Bucky smiled, a look of genuine relief on his face.

Just then, a group of teen girls walked in and your smile disappeared for a moment.

“I’m at work. I’m the boss but I still gotta work, we can’t..”

“I know a place we can go to later if you want? Catch up?”

“I’d love to! I close up around six today, we can go after then.”

“Perfect! I’ll come back and we can walk there together.” You smiled and nodded, too shy to say anything else right now. Bucky smiled before turning around, looking back at you as he opened the door to leave. You gave him a little shy wave.

You spent the next few hours constantly thinking about Bucky and finally being able to see and talk to him again. Excited was an understatement. You were happy. Bucky was back. You were always too shy to say anything about what you felt, but absolute adoration was another understatement when it came to that man.

The clock had finally struck six. Your employees were now leaving, and you decided to check the store, make sure everything was alright before closing up. The same employee that had helped out earlier that day came up to you as you picked up your things.

“Your gentleman caller is waiting outside.” She had a knowing smile on her face. She even seemed kind of excited and she stood there and waited as you blushed.

“Thank you..” you attempted to avoid her gaze as you packed the rest of your things in your bag.

“I’ll tell him you won’t be long.” At that, you offered her a smile before she left and you took a moment to relax before following.

Bucky wasn’t right there as you left through the front, but when you turned back around after shutting and locking the place, there he was just a couple feet away from you. A small flower bouquet in his hand. Your heart melted at the sight.

“I know you’re not much of a flower person, but I wasn’t sure what else to do.. You know… with the time gap and all.. But these are your favourites.” Bucky looked almost nervous. You shyly stuck your hand out to take the bouquet, your fingers brushing against his as you did.

“They’re perfect, thank you.” A small smile tugged at your lips again as you looked at them before looking back to the man in front of you.

“I’ve missed you Y/N.”

“Me too.. You that is! I’ve missed you, not myself.” You blushed as Bucky chuckled at your flustered self. He then held out an arm.

“Shall we?” You hesitated before taking hold of his arm with your free hand, a feeling of happy warmth washing over you.

“We shall.”

Tagging; @blondekel77 @book-hoardingdragon @mandosmimi