#source: 7th heaven

[pool-spidey]

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Eddie: Come on, Mr Frankly, Julie would jump in front of a car for you!

Frank: Julietta would jump in front of a car for fun.

[spiderquotes]

Pavitr: Hobie would throw himself in front of a moving car for you

Gwen: Hobie would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun

[minecraftcorrectmode]

Lukas: I'm still not even sure Axel likes me.

Jesse: What do you mean? Axel would throw himself in front of a TNT cannon for you.

Lukas: Axel would throw himself in front of a TNT cannon for fun.

[incorrect-uncharted]

Sully: Nate would throw himself in front of a moving car for you.

Elena: Nate would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

[saveme-storybrooke-potc]

Emma *During labor*: Give me your hand. Killian: Why? Are you hurting? Emma *sarcastically*: No. I'm feeling... romantic.

[incorrect-edens-garden-quotes]

Toshiko: Jett likes you very much, he'd throw himself in front of a moving car for you!

Mark: He'd throw himself in front of a car for fun.

[ten-cent-sleuth]

Kristen: Maggie would throw herself in front of a moving car for you.

OA: Maggie would throw herself in front of a moving car for fun.

[incorrect-hololive]

Towa: Suisei would throw herself in front of a moving car for you.

Miko: Suisei would throw herself in front of a moving car for fun.

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 2/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14

Writing this while listening to Christian songs is my process lajsdlkajkld

You guys need to listen to the soundtrack of Journey to Bethlehem. What bangers and amazing pieces!

-------------------------------------------

Once they got inside, Charlie locks the hotel up using keekee.

Vaggie: You sure that will hold them up?

Charlie: Of course! Besides if any of them try to sneak in then I'm sure Razzle and Keekee will keep them out yes? Yeah? Awww yes you will~

Charlie gushes on her guardians for one more minute before moving close to where her dad was seated on the couch.

Charlie: You okay, dad?

Lucifer: I'm fine, sweetie. Just a little dizzy. I've been using that ability more in thebpast few months than I ever did for 10000 years. It's always draining.

Alastor has disappeared, probably in the kitchen making her dad tea.

Cherri: Not gonna lie. That was kinda hot.

Angel: Yeah. You gotta keep doing whatever that was when you can, short king. Preferably when I'm there to see it. You know, I give full consent for you to do that to me in be-

Charlie: Angel!

Angel: What?

Alastor: Do you never think before you speak, Angel?

Saved by the radio demon. Lucifer smirks as gladly accepts the tea handed to him.

Angel: I'm just here expressing my feelings, Al! And princess, didn't you say that was a redeeming quality.

Vaggie: You are so lucky Lucifer- uh sir- is not killing you on the spot.

Angel: Hehe sorry, handsome. Just a lil fun~

Lucifer chuckles at this. Charlie sure did find some funny individuals.

Lucifer: None taken, Angel. And Vaggie, I told you to stop calling me sir. Lucifer is fine, or if you want.. dad.

Vaggie blushed so so golden that she went to hide in her girlfriend's shoulders in embarrassment.

Vaggie: okay… Lucifer sir.

The King of Hell chuckles in amusement. Well, he'll take what he can get.

Someone clears their throat causing everyone to look at the source.

Lucifer: What is it, Satan?

Satan: As cute as this is, I think we need to discuss what happened earlier.

Lucifer: Can I say anything that will make you guys just drop it?

Various statements from All: Nope. No. Sorry, shorty. Nuh uh. I don't believe so, my dear.

He sighs.

Lucifer: Worth a shot.

When Lucifer doesn't make a move to speak, Charlie kneels before him to hold his hands in hers. There's ringing in his ears.

Charlie: Dad..

Fatherdamnit! Why is he so weak when it comes to his baby girl? He's the Devil for fucks sake and-

And… he's a father first.

Lucifer: It was my brother. Michael.

Everyone's eyes widened in shock except for the Sins. They knew who it was but what they want to know is why.

Angel: Woah woah woah! Like St. Michael the Archangel ?? From the Bible??

Lucifer: Angel, I'm from the Bible.

Angel: Oh yeah.

Charlie: Do you think this is about the last extermination?

Vaggie: But that was already a few months ago. If Heaven had a problem with what happened, I'm pretty sure that we'd hear from them much earlier. Unless..

Husk: It could be cos of the mess in the 7th ring?

Lucifer doesn't answer any of them again. Instead, he looks on to the Heaven shaped planet in the sky.

Asmodeus: Luci… is a war coming?

Lucifer: I can't answer that.

Liar. Why are you lying again? You know why Michael did that. They can help. They will listen!

Alastor: Cannot or won't, my Majesty?

He should've known Alastor will see right through him. Smiling prick.

Lucifer: Does it matter?

The demon's grin doesn't falter.

Alastor: I do not know, my King. Does it?

The faint ringing in his ears is getting louder. He can't ignore it for long.

He stands and dusts himself off.

Lucifer: I don't have time for this. I need to go to Heaven as soon as possible. Preferably right now.

Loud protests echoed in the hotel lobby as soon as he said it.

Alastor: Mon ange, let us not be too hasty.

Satan: Are you fucking kidding me?!

Leviathan: No way.

Mammon: So it is a war???

Ozzie: On your own?!

Bee: What if they kill you?? One of us will go with you.

Belphegor: At least take someone from the Ars Goetia. I'm sure Paimon would gladly give you a strong familiar.

Angel: I make stupid choices so I know this is stupid- ow! The hell, bitch??

Vaggie: Shut up, Angel. But they're right, Lucifer sir. And sorry but what brought this on?

Charlie: Let me come with you atleast.

That's it.

Lucifer: No!

That stopped the talking atleast.

Lucifer: I need to talk to Michael and I'm pretty sure he's not going to come down here. And no, I am not going to take anyone with me. It's too dangerous, Charlie. Don't worry, he's not gonna kill me up there. Just… I promise I'll explain what I can after but right now… I need to go

He can see the Sins about to argue again but he gave them the softest look he can muster and it did the trick because they all clammed up.

Lucifer: Do you trust me?

The look they give him makes him reminiscent the beginning. A time of nothing and all he had was Lilith and the newly born Sins. He sometimes forgets that they were still a lot younger than him and for a long time, he was all they got.

Satan: Of course.

He hopes the smile he gives them is reassuring enough. They melt into his hold as he rans a hand through their faces to cup them.

Lucifer: Good. Take care of my daughter and Hell, okay?

Finally appraoching Charlie and her friends, he draws small pentagrams that embedded themselves unto their skins.

Lucifer: These will act as a ward to anything that poses as a danger to you. Consider it a gift from me.

He locks eyes with Alastor and they form a silent agreement.

His deer takes his hand and bends down to kiss it.

Alastor: With my soul, my love.

Lucifer smiles and suddenly a golden flurry engulfs him, tranforming him back to what he originally looked like before Roo.

When Leviathan gave him a look, he waves in dismissal.

Lucifer: I don't need Michael or Heaven knowing about all this mess. As far as they're concerned, Roo never happened.

He calls upon Keekee, who turned into a key to open a golden portal. Vaggie can see that wherever he opened it, it wasn't the pearly gates of Heaven. It looked like… a room? And since when was Lucifer allowed to open any door in Heaven on his own? This is all suspicious if you ask her. But she bites her tongue.

Before the King could step in, he was grabbed by the arm. He looks back to see his daughter having a tight grip on his wrist.

Lucifer: Char-char?

Charlie: Come back, dad. Okay?

He wishes he just lived a normal life with his beloved little girl.

Lucifer: Promise…. Love you.

-----------------------------

Found the comic with the baby Sins thanks to user @s-arina!

Baby Sins Comic by aogs_47777

[theoutcastrogue]

This is petty but that's never stopped me.

In the Vox Machina campaign, Scanlan Shorthalt's resounding success in matters of tactics [this post isn't about roleplaying] was partly due to Sam Riegel's skill, and mostly due to the fact that 5e Bards are just that good. However! The "gnome bard" combo was famously chosen by Liam, after Sam, who'd never played d&d before, asked what's the silliest, least powerful and least badass thing he could play. That was his character concept. And at the time, Liam was not wrong to answer "bard". In 3rd Edition/Pathfinder, Bards DID suck, at least out of the box. You could build a strong Bard in Pathfinder, but you had to optimise to high heavens with carefully selected feats and spells and items from various sources. It didn't just happen spontaneously, and it was still nowhere near the raw power and versatility of a Wizard or Druid. Bards played support.

So at lvl 9, they started streaming and switched from Pathfinder to D&D 5e. Scanlan got an ENORMOUS power boost at that point, but Sam was still harbouring under the impression that his chosen class is not powerful or badass at all. And as they kept playing and he kept killing it (he was brilliant at it, no doubt about that!), he presumed that he was killing it with one hand tied behind his back, because he was just a silly little gnome bard. And, he emphatically wasn't silly. He was a whole-ass full caster, top tier class right there.

Pathfinder Bards are half-casters. If they hadn't switched to 5e, Scanlan wouldn't have access to 7th and higher level spells: no Mordenkeinen's Magnificent Mansion (a signature spell), no Dominate Monster (this is how he made the goristro fight Vorugal), no Reverse Gravity (big moment in the first Ripley fight), and no Wish (kind of a big deal!). Other spells aren't in the Bard list, and there's no Magical Secrets in Pathfinder: he wouldn't have access to Bigby's Hand (another signature spell), Otiluke's Resilient Sphere (how he got rid of the efrit, and Ripley), Lightning Bolt and Stinking Cloud (his standard damage spells), Polymorph (that's several giant eagles including the "now smarter" Grog (this will never stop being funny), and of course the legendary triceratops), or Counterspell (kind of an enormous deal). And all the other spells would have come later: no Seeming at lvl 11 = no cows. (What a loss! No cows!)

And it's not just access to spells, it's also "likelihood of spells to work", which depends on the DC, which in Pathfinder depended on spell level. Lower level spells had a lower chance of doing anything, by virtue of being easier to resist. And half-casters got a slower spell progression, and ended up with significantly less power overall. Whereas in 5e spell level is irrelevant, spell DCs depend on your character level, and that's that. Even (Bardic) Inspiration got a boost from the switch. All in all, we're talking about a spectacular upgrade.

So a tragic misconception happened: Sam got it into his head that he's so good at d&d that he can gimp himself and still kick ass. Well, he can't.

When he played a Rogue (no big spells, huh? no cheat sheet!) he sucked at it and he hated it. And now that he plays a Cleric and actually, actively gimps himself (he said in a 4-Sided Dive that he deliberately avoids cleric spells that others have used before in CR, which by now is most of them, and certainly the best of them), he very predictably sucks at it too (I mean relatively speaking; it's still a full caster), and he doesn't love it. The one time he was BRILLIANT was when he had a top tier class to work with, and used it to its full potential. But he thought he was gimping himself, because he was thinking of a different game/edition than the one he was playing!

I wanna grab him by the shoulders and shake him up and say my good man, you gotta stop this "I gimp myself" -> "I fail to kick ass" -> *surprised pikachu face*. CHOOSE. Either gimp yourself and accept you won't be kicking any ass, but it's okay because you enjoy roleplaying someone like that more than you enjoy kicking ass, OR stop gimping yourself and kick ass, because you do enjoy kicking ass, don't you?

Both are great! I approve either way! But choose.

I also wanna grab Liam by the shoulders and tell him "Wizard or Sorcerer! For the love of all that's green and good in this world, next time Sam asks you what class to play in D&D, tell 'im Wizard or Sorcerer!". But then I remember that next time they'll probably play Daggerheart and not D&D unless WotC makes them an offer they can't refuse, so the whole thing is moot.

[indigovigilance]

Lament of the Metatron

I did not have "become an amateur biblical apocrypha scholar" on my 2023 bingo card, but here we are, and I’m going to make you feel bad for hating the Metatron. No, really. A lot of different ✨clues ✨in S2 lead us to the Book of Enoch, which describes how the Metatron came to be. (If you would like to read what the Books of Enoch have to say about maybe-Crowley and maybe-Aziraphale, read this meta.)

There are three books of Enoch: 1 Enoch, 2 Enoch, and 3 Enoch, and after reading them I’ve concluded that they are almost certainly a major source text for Good Omens, at very least with respect to the Metatron. The translation that I used is 116 pages and quite dense, so there will be multiple metas about it (I should also note that I’ve taken great liberties with reorganizing the source text, for brevity). This one addresses the origin of the Metatron and his likely S1 and S3 motivations.

The Story

To quickly summarize the backstory: after Adam and Eve leave the Garden of Eden, a bunch of angels go to Earth, transgress against God (by having children with humans) and piss Her off. So She decides She must flood the Earth to wipe them and all their children and human associates out.

During this age of angelic iniquity, Enoch, a righteous man, the 7th generation from Adam and great-grandfather of Noah, receives visions of the coming flood.

Later, Enoch is lifted up to Heaven by a whirlwind. He gets an angel-guided tour of Heaven and visits what I will call The Mountain of Souls. He sees a mountain with four chambers and asks what they are for. Raphael states that they are for the souls of the dead, where they will be kept until Judgment Day. Enoch asks why they are separated. Raphael answers:

One for the souls of the righteous

One for the souls of sinners, who are buried in the earth, to await judgment, and on that day they will be punished

One for those who complain to, or petition, God (including Abel, who was slain by Cain)

One for the souls of those who are not righteous, “but their souls will not be killed on the day of judgment, nor will they rise from here.” (so perhaps a permanent purgatory?)

Later in his journey, Enoch sees the Valley of Judgment. Again, Raphael answers Enoch’s questions, describing “this accursed valley, is for those who are cursed for ever… [for] all those who speak with their mouths against the Lord… and here will be their place of Judgment.” Enoch comments that it would be better for the sinners if they had never been born.

Enoch also sees where the righteous will go after Judgment: “And in those days my eyes saw the Place of the Chosen Ones of Righteousness and Faith… And I saw their dwelling, under the Wings of the Lord of Spirits, and all the righteous and chosen shone in front of him, like the light of fire…. There I wished to dwell.”

The Second Parable of 1 Enoch describes how God will open the Book of the Living when the Chosen One arrives, and so Judgment Day will begin.

Enoch is taken before God and violently transformed from a human into the Metatron, a celestial being: “And I fell upon my face, and my whole body melted, and my spirit was transformed; and I cried out in a loud voice, in the spirit of power.” After Enoch is transfigured into Metatron, he is made to write 366 volumes of what I will call the Book of Deeds, wherein he writes the name of all men, everything they have done, and what afterlife they are destined for.

After sixty days spent in Heaven, angels return the Metatron to Earth to dwell with his sons for… and this is where the different books of Enoch seem to disagree whether it was for one year or thirty days, but either way, he goes back to Earth with an explicit time limit to explain to his children everything he has seen and to teach them the ways of righteousness. Which he does. The fifth book of 1 Enoch, the Epistle, describes Enoch badgering his children to be not just pretendy-good but properly good, and advising them to suffer and turn the other cheek, etc., so that they are found righteous before God on Judgment Day. He knows that at the end of this visit, he will return to Heaven, will never speak to his sons or the rest of his family for the rest of their lives, and that a Great Flood is coming to wipe out everyone on Earth except for his great-grandson Noah and Noah’s three sons, and that whatever is written in the books by then is what his other sons and grandsons and great-grandsons will be judged by on Judgment Day.

It is worth noting here that a separate scholarly analysis points out that once Enoch is transformed into Metatron, he never eats again: “Since the time when the Lord anointed me with the ointment of his glory, food has not come into me, and earthly pleasure my soul does not remember…” This is meant to show how his journey from human to celestial is opposite that of Adam and Eve, who were nourished by celestial food until they left the Garden, and from then on had to sate themselves with “nourishment for the beasts.”

At the end of this visit to Earth, he issues a final warning to his children and neighbors about the coming Judgment Day, then ascends to Heaven to rule over all the angels and to keep the Book of Deeds.

So what should we take from this?

Enoch, a good man, God’s favorite, is given visions of the destruction of Earth, abducted and taken to Heaven where he is shown the Mountain of Souls, the Valley of Damnation, and the Place of the Chosen Ones of Righteousness, he is transformed into an angel so that he may never enjoy Earthly delights again, he is told that everyone he knows, including all of his children and their children, except for one great-grandson and three great-great-grandsons, will die, and that he has limited time to coach them on how to avoid being punished, tortured, and destroyed forever, and even if he succeeds, they will be trapped in the Mountain of Souls until Judgment Day, and then he is taken from them, and given the responsibility of maintaining the records by which souls will be judged. 

So let's talk about motivation.

Here we find an incredibly powerful, incredibly lonely human-turned-angel (because the other angels are both afraid and disrespectful of him), whose entire family was destroyed before his eyes and who are as of right now, as they have been for *checks watch* 5,000 years, trapped in a celestial mountain of purgatory, and the only way he can ever see them again is to bring about the Second Coming, for only on Judgment Day may they be released from the Mountain of Souls and join him before the Throne of Glory, if they heeded his warnings and are found worthy in the sight of God.

This is a highly motivated, highly traumatized anti-villain. Which is possibly the worst thing to happen to Aziraphale because if Azi has a soft spot for anyone, it’s someone whose children were taken from them by God.

******************************

For evidence of why we can selectively ignore/reinterpret Neil's statement re: the Metatron's human past, please read this meta

I read the Book of Enoch from front to back, twice, but if you want to check my work (or write a response meta!) you can find the source material here and here.

If you would like to read what the Books of Enoch have to say about maybe-Crowley and maybe-Aziraphale, read this meta.

[humunanunga]

So I looked it up, because of course the Holmes books aren't alone to enter the public domain this year, and Metropolis has too. So here's the list I found of creative works that are now public domain:

Books

— The Gangs of New York, by Herbert Asbury (original publication)

— Death Comes for the Archbishop, by Willa Cather

— The Big Four, by Agatha Christie

— The Tower Treasure, the first Hardy Boys mystery by the pseudonymous Franklin W. Dixon

— The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle

— Copper Sun, by Countee Cullen

— Mosquitoes, by William Faulkner

— Men Without Women, by Ernest Hemingway

— Der Steppenwolf, by Herman Hesse (in German)

— Amerika, by Franz Kafka (in German)

— Now We Are Six, by A.A. Milne with illustrations from E.H. Shepard

— Le Temps retrouvé, by Marcel Proust (in French)

— Twilight Sleep, by Edith Wharton

— The Bridge of San Luis Rey, by Thornton Wilder

— To The Lighthouse, by Virginia Woolf

Movies

— "7th Heaven," directed by Frank Borzage

— "The Battle of the Century," a Laurel and Hardy film directed by Clyde Bruckman

— "The Kid Brother," directed by Ted Wilde

— "The Jazz Singer," directed by Alan Crosland

— "The Lodger: A Story of the London Fog," directed by Alfred Hitchcock

— "Metropolis," directed by Fritz Lang

— "Sunrise," directed by F.W. Murnau

— "Upstream," directed by John Ford

— "Wings," directed by William A. Wellman

Musical compositions

— "Back Water Blues," "Preaching the Blues" and "Foolish Man Blues" (Bessie Smith)

— "The Best Things in Life Are Free," from the musical "Good News" (George Gard "Buddy" De Sylva, Lew Brown, Ray Henderson)

— "Billy Goat Stomp," "Hyena Stomp" and "Jungle Blues" (Ferdinand Joseph Morton)

— "Black and Tan Fantasy" and "East St. Louis Toodle-O" (Bub Miley, Duke Ellington)

— "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man" and "Ol' Man River," from the musical "Show Boat" (Oscar Hammerstein II, Jerome Kern)

— "Diane" (Erno Rapee, Lew Pollack)

— "Funny Face" and "'S Wonderful," from the musical "Funny Face" (Ira and George Gershwin)

— "(I Scream You Scream, We All Scream for) Ice Cream" (Howard Johnson, Billy Moll, Robert A. King)

— "Mississippi Mud" (Harry Barris, James Cavanaugh)

— "My Blue Heaven" (George Whiting, Walter Donaldson)

— "Potato Head Blues" and "Gully Low Blues" (Louis Armstrong)

— "Puttin' on the Ritz" (Irving Berlin)

— "Rusty Pail Blues," "Sloppy Water Blues" and "Soothin' Syrup Stomp" (Thomas Waller)

Source: https://www.voanews.com/a/public-domain-debuts-include-last-sherlock-holmes-work-/6898309.html

[nyaskitten]

I have a theory I want your opinion on:

When Lloyd has his vision in ep 10 we see these symbols:

(that's the best pic I could find, sorry)

These look to be a symbol of the main four Elemental Powers + Lloyd's and water. But why water? It's always been known to be a secondary Element- not a part of Creation.

What if each Source Dragon has a main element to them (with Riyu being the 7th)? And what if Wojira is the Source Dragon for water? But it's like a "Lucifer kicked out of Heaven" kinda thing. She was stripped of her wings and ability to speak.

A description from the Season 2 sets mentions that the Source Dragons have a "spirit form". And Wojira was originally thought to just be a sea spirit.

Aka: Nya killed a god and didn't think twice about it

HUH... you COULD be onto something actually... I don't necessarily imagine Wojira to be the Source Dragon as she's only described as a sea serpent but I see the logic actually! I get it!

[altocat]

In the end of act 3 Cloud wakes up in Hojo's lab.

He's been picked up right after the Nibelheim incident and hallucinated/dreamed the whole "chasing Sephiroth around the planet while casually doing fun minigames" thing.

Zack is dead, Tifa rebuilt 7th Heaven and adopted Marlene and Denzel, the planet is dying, Barret is looking for alternative energy sources, like oil, Sephiroth re-manifested as 3 Remnants.

But the heroic adventure that strengthened the friendships as they stood up against evil was all in his head.

Bruh.

Based and doompilled. That is some quality angst lmao. Maybe Cloud can find peace with what little time he has left...

[saveme-storybrooke-potc]

Gideon: Hope Alice Jones, will you marry me? Hope *to Zeus*: Thank you. Hope *to Gideon*: Yes, Gideon Gold, I will marry you.