#source: the unnatural inquirer

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Ginny: [to Luna] It's hard to maintain a reputation for being cool and mysterious when I'm accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at my side, holding my hand, and smiling sweetly on one and all...

[incorrect-marmalade]

Otis, to Marmalade: It's hard to maintain a reputation for being cool and mysterious when I'm accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at my side, holding my hand, and smiling sweetly on one and all...

[dreamlandcreations]

Chapter 1 • Faded dreams

Feyd x Atreides!Reader

Summary: You risk your life to find out what your dreams mean...

Warnings: space drugs (🙈), near death experience, mention of blood and death and war, no dialogue, no Feyd yet (well...), this is basically a prologue

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Your dreams were getting worse and it was getting more difficult to wake up each time. They seemed so real, yet they fade away each time within seconds as you finally jolt awake from the nightmares. All that remains is fear and a knowing that you are seeing the end.

You tried to ask your mother for help, well, more like tried to ask for information without telling her what's going on. Paul's own dreams were a good excuse to justify your curiosity but it also limited your options of inquiring about your specifically maddening problem. Because, of course your brother gets to dream about a pretty girl while you drown in a bloody nightmare every night. If only you could see more clearly, the not knowing of what these hazy images mean is almost worse than the death you witness each time.

You can't tell your mother though, or even Paul. They would try to stop you from making this utterly stupid decision that will probably result in your death. They wouldn't be able to understand that that possibility cannot be worse than this slowly driving you into insanity.

It was not as difficult as you thought, tricking a mentat, a doctor and a Bene Gesserit to give you little doses of spice to try. According to your careful research, with what you were gifted by Lady Fenring on her last visit, it should be enough to induce the process.

You waited until nighttime, until you knew everyone went to sleep. It was an unnecessary precaution as it turns out because Paul in the next room startled awake as soon as you took the spice.

With your last coherent thought you were thinking that getting hit by lightning must feel something like this. Only the energy didn't just hit you once, it was trapped inside your body, wreaking havoc in the very essence of your being. It was tearing you apart, and the pain was unbearable.

For a long while there was nothing but the pain, you did not really feel or sense anything. Then the first thing you were aware of was screaming, it took you a moment to realise it was your own, just before you had another wave of power rushing through you and you lost every bit of control over your body. The screaming stopped and you faintly heard your mother for a few seconds before the dreams drew you in.

No, not dreams, visions. You see everything all at once, and at first none of it made sense then you felt... time, in a way it couldn't be explained in words. The connections, the possibilities, the what ifs... like the branches of a tree... too many variants for even a mentat to handle and you were only half-trained at best. Yet, you understood, no, you felt, you sensed, you became a part of each version a little, living in a million moments at once, spread apart and yet still whole beneath that... like the branches of a tree...

The tree, your ancestry, you have to get to the other memory to finish the trial. You try to look within yourself, slightly distracted by regaining some of your physical sense and weakly trying to fight off the poison of the spice.

At the end of the spiral you see a figure, a source of all the death and misery that haunts you. A familiar, yet strange face that seemed to look into your soul. There is that rage and madness you started to see in your own reflection, only this gaze, this unnatural blue scared you more than your own demons.

Well, she is your demon in a way.

With that thought the spice floods your mind again, taking you where you wanted to go, forcing you down on the line of your ancestors, their knowledge and experience becoming a part of your consciousness but you know something is terribly wrong when your mind takes a path that no Bene Gesserit has before. You see your father and his entire line, both female and male members of your extended family tree on his part. And it comes surprisingly easy to you, too easy.

Your mother's line stops with her, there's something horrible beyond that which your mind cannot deal with and it almost shatters you.

On the inside you struggle to get out of the darkness that pulls you in. On the outside your body crashes, your heart stops, and so does your breathing.

You hear Paul's yell to the doctor to do something, followed by your mother's command, using the Voice to order you to breathe. With your last bit of strength leaving you, it feels like what you would call your soul starts to leave your body. It is quite peaceful actually, there's no more pain or worry, only a calm nothingness but unlike the previous cold and twisted darkness that came from within this feels right and you almost slip away from existence when you feel something, someone catch you and practically drag you back.

There's a voice, a command of a simple "No!" comes with the force that knocks you down and holds you in this world. The tone is unfamiliar, the raspy voice with the obvious rage laced into it sounds more like a growl than anything else and it is followed by a similarly angry, yet so much louder order, "FIGHT!"

The presence is gone as soon as it came but you are tethered to your body again, feeling how it shuts down sparks a sudden defiance in you. Not really knowing what you're doing, you will your heart's muscles to move, to pump the remaining spice through your body and your cells absorb it, sparkling to new life, then you slowly and now consciously start to sort of reboot your system with this new strange energy.

When you are done you just rest, unable to truly sleep but too tired to move too, you think. Going through the visions again and again, you start to see a pattern. As soon as you understand the reasons behind the events, it all comes together, all the previously possible paths become clear until a certain point.

Hours go by as you lie there, practically trapped in your own body but there's no fear in you anymore, you are too busy planning your next move. And the next, and the next.

You might have failed getting through the Spice Agony and it's a miracle you are alive but it doesn't matter, it wasn't an unnecessary risk after all, you know the truth now. There is only one person who's decisions changed the end game, all the others who you thought had enough power to be key persons could only influence the path, not the outcome. So you know, your mother can never set foot on Arrakis and if you have to take her place in the story, so be it.

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[thealienfantasy]

Alien Fantasy-File 1: The "Egg" from the Dark Clouds

The dark and cloudy atmosphere of the planet loomed over the fortress of the monarch. Their dark red mane flowing behind them as they took a sip from their Algae-infused beverage. From the balcony, they had a clear view of the Volcanic landscape of their world. a landscape that the Ignusians have adapted to and called home for millennia. The Monarch was proud to say that very few species were tough enough to survive this unforgiving planet they called home.

They placed their cup down and ran their finger through their red-crusted skin. the very same that rendered them immune against the harsh fires of this planet. The monarch looked up at the dark clouds. They always wondered if there was anything beyond the clouds of the planet. Growing up, they always heard tales of being beyond their comprehension living beyond the clouds created by the Volcanos. They wondered if perhaps they could met them one day. 

perhaps..... "Lord Fr' Nia! We've gotten some new reports!" The Monarch turned to face the knight that had just burst through the balcony door. "We've gotten some new reports regarding the recent sightings. Our search party has requested your presence!" The knight kneeled down. The Monarch put down their cup and gazed at the knight.  "Tell them i'll be down there shortly"

The Knight got up and saluted their monarch. The Monarch gazed at the sky as their pondered over what they heard from the knight. A fourth of their cycle had passed since that abnormality. A meteor had pierced the clouds and landed on one of the nearby mountains. naturally, there was an immediate investigation. 

The monarch made their way through the hallways as these thoughts continued to linger. From what they had gathered from the rumors. it wasn't a meteor that had landed on those mountains. They didn't know how to describe it, as the monarch unfortunately hadn't gotten close enough to see it. But the search party and the local citizens described it as "Vaguely egg shaped". It's as if the sky had laid an egg. except the "Egg" also had what were clearly supposed to be windows.  The monarch opened the door and all the Ignusians in the room turned their attention to their highness. "Lord Fr' Nia! I'm glad you could make it." One of the knights said. his mane longer than the others and his skin looking much more crusty than his fellow knights. The spike on his limbs were sharp with a few having been broken, indicating years of experience and combat. "For what have i been summoned here?" The Monarch inquired. Curious about what information they were able to extract this time. "We have news, my lord. There's been life sighted near the Anomality!" The chancellor spoke up. The Monarch turned their attention to the chancellor, who proceeded to carefully place a few stone tablets on the table. all of them with paintings depicting figures. "According to the villagers, There's been a few more of those creatures sighted near the Callista Springs. And this time we have a better description of them." 

The Callista Springs. A source of water located near the mountains where the Anomality crashed. But it was located quite a walk away from the mountains. The creatures ventured all the way over there? 

"According to the villagers. the creatures seemed to have the same body shape as us. but they are a bit smaller and they seemed to be wearing this...strange white armor. If looked puffy, with tubes attached all over. "Anything else?"

"One of the villagers reportedly tried to tail the creature. But unfortunately, they lost sight of it pretty quickly." One of the knights replied. The Monarch was disappointed, but they understood why most villagers didn't want to go near the device. The search Party managed to get pretty close to the anomality, even being able to touch it. Those who did described it as "unnaturally cold." even the coldest region of their home didn't seem to compare. 

With the anomality resembling a giant egg, The first thought of the Knights was to try and hatch the egg. But Ignusians idea of hatching it involved striking it until it broke. which proved to be a massive mistake.  After the first few strikes, A few parts of the Anomality seemed to hatch open. And a tubular "limb" stuck out and began pointing at them. Curiosity turned into horror as the Anomality began firing beams at the ones that had attacked it. Most of the Knights were able to get out alive, but those who got struck by the beams had very heavy dents in their armor. not unlike being struck by the Bovine-like wildlife of this planet. 

Since then. Contact with the Anomality has been limited. With those who decide to go inspect it restricting their search to outside the crash site, fearing they would invoke the anomality's wrath. However, since that crash landing. there's been reports of weird creatures occasionally wandering around near the crash site with a bunch of weird devices. With those creatures having appeared shortly after the crash, the Ignusians believed the creatures came from the Anomality. the question is, What kind of creatures were they? To hear that one of them made their way to the Callista Springs. so close to the village....

"Sir Kohzunah! You're late!" The leader of the knights said. The Monarch looked away from the drawings and saw another knight enter the room. The knight took of his helmet. revealing his shorter mane. His skin looked just as crusty, yet noticeable more smooth than his fellow knights.

"I almost caught one sir." 

"Excuse me?"

"I saw one near the springs again. It ran away and i was this close to catching it. But right as i grabbed its leg, it pointed this weird weapon at me. next thing i know, i feel something sting my arm and my entire body is shaking. It got away before i could get my bearings." The Knight confessed while bowing to his fellow knights. "You. You almost caught one. Hah! A young one like you. okay." Another night chuckled. "I'm serious!" 

"ENOUGH!!!" The monarch shouted. gathering everyone's attention. They approached the knight. "You managed to get close to one?" "Yes, My lord! They look... they look exactly like these drawings. but their suits had these weird buttons and their armor was... surprisingly soft." 

"My lord, he's a young and inexperienced Warrior in training." i really doubt-" The Monarch glared at the knight. The glare quickly silenced any complaints the knight had.

"Anything else?"

"They seemed to be containing the water from the springs before they saw me." 

The Monarch began speculating again. They were taking the water? Were they are of how precious of a resource it was considered here? Did they drink the water for it's healing properties? did they need it for the Anomality? "I want our knights to patrol the area once more. Call in the aerial troops. See if you can figure out if there's a specific time they come to the springs. try to stay out of their sight!" "My lord?" "I want as much intel about these beings as possible. Understood?" The knights saluted. "Meeting adjourned!" The Monarch announced. The Knights got to work while the Monarch returned to the balcony. They looked in the direction of the crash site. What were these creatures? were they sent here by the sky? could they talk? were they savages? they were closing in on their town, but they only seemed to attack when their knights got to close to the anomality. They continued to wonder if talking to this new species was possible. Maybe they could invite them to the castle. Chat over some Geothermal Cuisine and maybe even engage in a lava bath with each other. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ALMOST GOT CAUGHT?!?!" "Jake, Please calm down." 

"DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, ED! YOU KNOW ABOUT THE PROTOCOL WHEN IT COMES TO MEETING NEW SPECIES!"

"Sir, i understand your frustration. but please calm down." One of the astronauts said. Eddy took off his helmet and took a deep breath. it felt good to be back in the insulated confines of the ship. Even the hottest days on earth couldn't have prepared him how hot this planet could be. He looked at the woman, her uniform had "Marley" written on it. "What were you doing there anyway?" Marley asked. "Remember the water spring we came across a month ago?" "Oh my god.." Jake groaned. "Hey! You said it yourself. our water supply was running low!" Ed retorted.

"I told you we would continue looking!" 

"Continue looking where?!" I'm pretty sure we've looked through every corner of this mountain that isn't populated or surrounded by lava!"

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN!" Marley shouted. Silence kicked in for a minute. a silence that was then promptly broken by another member.

"Can we really not talk to them?" "Craig, we've been over this. we can't speak their language. and even if we did. Look at how much Lava the rest of the land is surrounded by. Not to mention the temperature. i swear, i almost had a heart attack when our drones reported back. If we go near that place, we're going to be cooked. and that's if those aliens don't attack us on sight like they did with our ship." Jake said.

"So what now then?" Marley asked. "Our S.O.S. signal has reached the nearest Rescue HQ and they said they should be here within a few more days. As long as we continue to ration our supplies more sparingly, we should be good." One of the members said. "Yeah, and with the Water eddy brought back, we should last a little longer." another member said. "Look. for now. just stay near the ship. keep exploration restricted to near the ship. And don't take after Ed's example." Jake side eyed his colleague. 

"Oh, c'mon now! the keyword is "ALMOST". They didn't actually catch me. i tasered the guy right as he grabbed my leg." Ed retorted. "And you're sure he didn't follow you here?" Marley asked. "Positive! the thing was twitching on the floor like an anime character while i was running, we should be safe." "And you're sure you didn't kill it?" Craig asked. "Killed it? with a fucking taser? get real, man." "Hey, you never know! We're talking about an alien species." "An alien species that can swim in lava, craig! I'd be ridiculous if...." Jake sighed as he chugged down some of the water his partner had brought back. The Rescue force could not come soon enough.

[glitterp0prhaps0dy]

Riff and Carol

As Floyd felt himself slipping into the warm embrace of sleep, a sense of tranquility enveloped him. Everything around him was quiet, the perfect ambiance for a peaceful night's rest. But as he drifted closer to slumber, a nagging feeling tugged at the edges of his consciousness. It was too quiet—unnaturally so.

In an instant, Floyd's eyes snapped open, his senses suddenly heightened. The tranquility of the room shattered as he jolted awake, too quickly for his own good. With an audible "OW," he banged his head against the top bunk, a sharp reminder that reality could be far less forgiving than his dreams.

Grimacing, Floyd rubbed at the sore spot on his head, attempting to soothe the sharp ache. As he did, the distinct sound of slow clapping echoed through the room, drawing his attention. Turning toward the source, Floyd's gaze landed on an unfamiliar figure seated on the beanbag.

This new presence was a muddy blue-skinned Rock Troll with dull blue hair cascading around a face highlighted by a purple nose and vivid pink eyes. The troll's attire was a bold statement of rock and roll flair mixed with a unique twist. She wore a fitted, black leather jacket that glistened under the room's dim lighting, adorned with patches and studs narrating tales of musical escapades and nocturnal concerts. Her shirt, a daring piece with a vibrant cheetah print, was neatly tucked into a pair of tight, distressed denim jeans, creating a striking contrast that somehow worked perfectly together. Leather bands, each decorated with studs and chains, adorned her wrists, clinking softly with her every move, and adding a musical undertone to her presence. This troll, with her blend of rock-inspired fashion and the untamed essence suggested by the cheetah print, exuded the wild spirit of rock music with a flair all her own.

The troll offered Floyd a smirk, amusement dancing in her eyes. "Gotta admit, that was pretty funny," she remarked with an effortless cool, rising to her feet. Floyd, puzzled by this unexpected encounter, couldn't help but inquire, "Who...are you?"

With a flair for the dramatic, she paused for effect, radiating an air of mystery before playfully drumming on her knees as though building up to a grand revelation. "I am," she paused again, leaning in as if about to disclose the world's biggest secret, "the one, the only..." And then, with a swift shift back to her relaxed demeanor, she casually dropped, "Carol."

As she continued, her movements became a mesmerizing dance of shadows, her arms cutting through the air with purpose. Despite the laid-backness of her facial expression, her eyes sparkled with a sharp, unsettling intensity. "Skip the introductions," she murmured, her voice a dark, velvety whisper that seemed to echo around the room, creating an atmosphere thick with anticipation. Slowly, deliberately, she closed the gap between them, her presence looming like a storm cloud. "Floyd," she said, her voice dropping to a menacing growl, each syllable heavy with threat and dark promise, making the air around them feel charged with ominous energy.

Floyd's expression shifted to one of sheer terror, his voice barely a tremble, as if every word was a plea, "Please, don't hurt me—" He shrank back, attempting to vanish into the safety of his blanket fortress.

Carol's response was immediate and uproarious laughter. "Oh, you're a blast! I like your spirit. Relax, I'm not here to cause harm. I'm on friendly terms with Barb and... mami," she explained, her amusement still evident in her tone.

Floyd's confusion only deepened, prompting him to inquire, "Mami? Who's that?"

Carol paused, a sly grin playing on her lips, "Ah, right, this would be your first delightful encounter with me—the incomparable Carol. I refer to Rebel as 'mami' because she's practically the epitome of a mom friend, always looking out for us."

With surprising ease, Carol hoisted Floyd, settling him securely in his wheelchair. It became instantly clear—either she possessed considerable strength, or Floyd was remarkably light.

Without a moment's hesitation, Carol propelled them out of the room. Instead of taking the considerate path via the ramp designed for Floyd's convenience, she chose a more reckless route. They hurtled down the stairs, Floyd's screams of terror echoing through the space, a stark contrast to Carol's witch-like cackles of delight that seemed to thrive on the chaos of the moment.

The whirlwind of chaos showed no signs of abating for Floyd. Carol, with unbridled enthusiasm, whisked him into the kitchen. Clinging for dear life, Floyd's grip on the wheelchair arms was ironclad, his whole body vibrating with a mix of adrenaline and fear.

Carol's voice, lilting and loud, cut through the air, "MAAAAAMI~~ BEHOLD YOUR NEWEST TREASURE~~" Her sing-song announcement filled the room. Rebel was in the midst of pouring milk, Barb was somewhat ungracefully consuming cereal by bringing the bowl to her mouth, and an unfamiliar figure was also present. This new troll, with a violet-grey hue and long black hair, sported a red beanie adorned with devil horns, reminiscent of Rebel's usual headwear, his pink nose a splash of color amidst his dark attire.

Rebel greeted Carol's theatrics with a stoic glare, her expression a silent testament to her irritation with the morning's disruption, succinctly communicated by flipping Carol the bird.

Carol, feigning deep offense, clutched her heart as if wounded, barely concealing the laughter bubbling beneath her dramatics.

Carol danced her way over to Barb, a stream of chatter flowing from her that Floyd couldn't quite grasp. He quickly shook his head, trying to dispel his confusion. "Um... what's happening?" he ventured.

The male troll, whose eyes were completely obscured by the beanie perched on his head—Floyd couldn't help but wonder how he navigated his surroundings—gave a casual wave. "Hey, I'm Riff. You could say I'm the brother from another mother to Barb and Rebel," he introduced with an easy-going air.

Floyd exhaled a sigh of relief. Riff seemed far less whirlwind than Carol, and perhaps even approachably normal. However, as Rebel moved past Floyd to take her cereal into the living room, she dropped a comment that punctured his momentary comfort. "Just so you know, he loves playing with fire," she said, her voice carrying a hint of dry amusement.

Floyd's hope for finding a semblance of normalcy deflated, realizing it was a futile expectation in the realm of Rock Trolls. He maneuvered himself to grab his own breakfast, casting a squinted gaze towards Riff, curiosity getting the better of him. "So, how do you see with that thing covering your eyes?" he queried, unable to mask his bafflement.

Riff's smirk broadened, amusement flickering in his voice as he responded, "Ah, little dude, some things are better left a mystery."

From her outpost in the living room, Rebel's voice interjected, "RIFF, HE'S OLDER THAN YOU!" Quick as a whip, Riff shot back, "DOESN'T MATTER, LITTLE DUDE'S STILL SHORTER!"

Floyd couldn't help but chuckle quietly to himself; the dynamic among these four was nothing if not entertaining. Riff, after a satisfying stretch and a back crack, turned his inquisitive gaze towards Floyd. "So, little dude, what's the scoop with being a Pop Troll? Like, where do you all even hang?"

With a heavy sigh, Floyd shared, "We sing and dance to our upbeat tunes, trying to stay cheerful, kinda glossing over the grim fact that Bergens gobble a good number of us up every year."

Silence fell over the room like a thick blanket; all eyes landed on Floyd. Then Carol, breaking the silence with a tone mixed with shock and curiosity, blurted out, "WHAT THE FUCK IS A BERGEN!?"

Now it was Floyd's turn to be taken aback. "Wait, you don't know what Bergens are? They're like, our arch-enemies. Those giant creatures that captured us, the ones who have an entire holiday just to eat us for their so-called happiness—you've never heard of them?"

One by one, heads shook in disbelief, indicating a unanimous ignorance.

"Oh... whoa, I guess it's a Pop Troll thing then, the whole Trollstice ordeal, huh?" Floyd let out an uneasy chuckle, the atmosphere suddenly heavy with the gravity of his revelation.

An awkward silence enveloped the room, only broken by the soft buzz of the television in the background. Then, Riff finally broke the ice with a simple, "Gnarly."

Carol, who was rummaging through the fridge, looked up, puzzled. "Wait, so you're telling me you guys just... resign yourselves to fate? Just like that?"

"No, not exactly," Floyd hurried to clarify, feeling the weight of their stares. "We do what we can to resist during Trollstice. It's just... a lot of us don't make it."

The room fell silent again, all eyes fixed on Floyd, who could feel beads of sweat forming. Eager to shift away from the heavy topic, he blurted out, "SO, ANYWAYS, I USED TO BE IN A BOYBAND-"

Riff rose from his seat, his height and lanky frame becoming apparent, explaining his fondness for calling Floyd 'little dude'. He strolled over to Floyd, effortlessly scooped him up under his arms, and hoisted him into the air with a grin. "Sick," he exclaimed, his smile wide.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day unfolded within the cozy confines of the rock trolls' household, a haven of sorts that buzzed with the energy of its inhabitants. The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the group gathered in the living room. It was a scene of calm chaos, with each troll finding their own way to contribute to the collective harmony of their unconventional family.

As the day progressed, Carol introduced the group to the art of tie-dye, a suggestion met with varying degrees of enthusiasm. The dining table was transformed into a kaleidoscope of colors and patterns, with each troll donning gloves and choosing their dyes. Floyd, with Carol's help, created a swirl of vibrant hues on his shirt, the activity bringing a splash of pop troll aesthetic to the rock-dominated household. Rebel's participation was more subdued, her chosen palette of blacks and greys a stark contrast to the others', yet she seemed content in their company, her actions speaking louder than her silence.

The afternoon brought with it a sense of nostalgia as Riff suggested they dive into a box of old board games. The competitive spirit was palpable as they navigated the twists and turns of each game, from strategic battles to hilarious misunderstandings over misunderstood rules. Floyd found himself laughing more freely than he had in a long time, his initial apprehension replaced by a feeling of belonging. Rebel, too, seemed to relax more with each roll of the dice, her strategic moves and rare smiles adding to the day's memories.

As evening settled in, the group congregated back in the living room, this time for a storytelling session. Barb regaled them with tales of rock troll legends, heroes of epic concerts and battles against silence. Floyd shared stories of pop troll celebrations, where music and color intertwined in a dance of joy. 

The day wound down with quiet conversations and shared reflections. They spoke of dreams,of fantasies, and of the music that tied them all together. Floyd, looking around at the faces illuminated by the soft lamp light, felt a profound sense of gratitude. Here, in this house filled with rock trolls, he had found an unexpected sense of community and understanding.

As the night drew to a close, Floyd couldn't help but feel that today had been about more than just passing the time. It had been a day of learning, of laughing, and of building connections that transcended their differences. Rebel, with her silent strength, Barb with her leadership, Carol with her boundless energy, and Riff with his laid-back charm, had all shown him facets of friendship he hadn't known he'd been missing.

And as he prepared for bed, Floyd realized that sometimes, the greatest adventures weren't about how far you traveled, but about the moments shared along the way.

As Floyd was blissfully sinking into the cozy depths of dreamland, his journey to snoozeville hit a sudden detour courtesy of Barb's insistent face poking. With the room enveloped in darkness, Floyd could barely make out her figure looming over him. He squinted up at her, annoyance mingling with sleepiness, and whisper-yelled, "What now?"

Barb, seemingly oblivious to the ungodly hour, pointed to his right ear with the seriousness of a detective cracking a case. "So, I noticed you've got an earring, and it's just on the right side."

Floyd, too groggy to grasp where this interrogation was leading, managed a confused, "And...?"

Barb leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Does that mean you're, like... gay or something?" Before the words were fully out of her mouth, Rebel's voice thundered from the top bunk, slicing through the night with the sharpness of a knife. "BARB! You can't just ask people that!"

The absurdity of the situation momentarily chased away Floyd's sleepiness, replacing it with a bewildered amusement. Here he was, trying to catch some Z's, only to be thrust into an impromptu seminar on ear piercing etiquette.

"Zip it and hit the hay!" Rebel's voice boomed from the top bunk, sounding like a grouchy l creature disturbed mid-slumber. Barb, embodying the spirit of a sulky teenager, grumbled back, "Fine, whatever, mom." Floyd couldn't help but let out a stifled giggle at this late-night sitcom episode unfolding in real life. The absurdity of being interrogated about his earring's social implications at this ungodly hour was just too much. As the ruckus finally died down, silence reclaimed the room, and one by one, they all surrendered to sleep's gentle embrace, hopefully with no more fashion accessory inquiries until morning.

“You still never answered my que-” “BARB SHUT UP AND GO TO BED”.

[echoedcrosshairs]

Playing with Fire / Cad Bane ~ part two

Summary; Cad Bane sets foot in a library looking for information, quickly coming to learn you were more then the average librarian. As a former Bounty Hunter you decide to help out, you’re smart and that’s an asset he could use but that wise mouth has him wondering what use he could use and if it would be worth it

Warning; 18+ Fluff, Angst, Emotional Turmoil, Violence, starting to get hot and heavy, alien (obviously), Cad Bane can kind of be an ass, age gape (canonically during clone wars Bane is 41-43ish) reader is mid 20’s, sapiosexual, mild toxicity that gets fixed, toothpicks, green and red blud.

Word Count: 5.6k

Part one Part three

Masterlist

The Justifier the name taunted you as a lingering question as to why he had named it that. For what you knew about Bane nothing else seemed to matter but credits, nothing was about justice or even vengeance. Maybe I could get him to tell me one of these days. Your gaze fell to Todo who greeted you at the top of the ramp even if he was complaining about your presence and how much it was a bad time to bring you along but wouldn't say why. The curiosity was already trying to get the better of you, you studied Bane with the aggravated expression on his face. You were keenly aware Bane was indeed older then you and had been in the game far longer when the nagging fact finally flicked itself to the end of your tongue.

"Bane, how old are you?"

"He's for-" Bane reached out shutting him off before he could finish his answer letting out another low growl.

"It's nothing you need to be ashamed off, we can stop by Duros if you need too," you offered, "Maybe a find a suitable partner where you don't have to hold back. It would be more efficient to help drop the hormone spike while also give me an excellent source of first hand insight."

"D'anks for'da nit pickin," he said sarcastically trying to figure out your complex educated brain desired, "Wear goin' out tonight to Corellia drinkin 'nd watch for a colleague to show up. Might take couple nights."

"Where am I staying?" You asked.

"Bunk 'bove mine."

"If you bring anyone home tonight, I don't want to hear it," you said simply.

"Jealous?" He joked.

"Unfortunately no, I tend to read before bed," you laughed, "It's not my thing to listen to others."

Bane turned Todo back on and snipped orders at him to show you to the bunk and not to answer any more personal questions about his health unless he was injured or dying. Todo clipped a few comments about using your useful insight because it may be beneficial but agreed to his request hovering around you pointing out the other points of interest in your new domicile, the bar, holding ceils, refreshers, med station, Bane's heating room implying to leave him alone while he's in there he is generally au naturel with the heat up to unbearable levels for mammals. You made a mental note to investigate the room while it's unoccupied. Looking around the room you noticed there was only closet deciding to let Bane have his privacy you kept your belongings in your bag and picked out one of the several books in your bag and left it on your bed. Your hand sunk into the mattress perfectly, not to hard, not to soft curiously you pressed your hand into Bane's hearing him cough behind you.

"It's interesting that my mattress is perfectly balanced while you seem to sleep on a rock," you said removing your hand for it.

"Reptilian?" He reminded.

"Humanoid also. It's fascinating to me," you admitted, "How long until we got to Corellia?"

"Soon, dat planet ain't that far 'nd da ships fast. Neva been?"

"I don't fly."

"What bounty hunta don' fly?"

"It's on my list of quiet extensive list of subjects to educate myself on."

You looked in his red eyes studying you under their microscopic lenses, dissecting you like an unnatural specimen secretly desperate for it's answers. His seemed slightly rather bluer today, do Duros tan? Before you could inquire about the subtle change he stalked out of the room saying he had a few calls to make. Todo finally left you to go pilot the ship with Bane being preoccupied. You decided to call one particularly old friend who would meet you there no questions asked especially if there was money to be made. You fancied yourself s more flattering outfit for the night out, a simple dress with a leg slit and long sleeves personally designed to hide your knifes in varies concealments. Letting your feet adjust to the new path of your domicile you wondered back to the heat room noticing the light was off indicating that it was empty, you eyes peered around before opening the door. Shocked you noticed the flat surface ground, bringing your hand down the smooth texture and cool to the touch. Rock like. Taking in the wall scenery you had to assume it was Duro, there were no chairs, not bed nothing. You laid yourself down on the uncomfortable surface, "Rough man, rough bed," you mumbled.

"What'chu think ya doin'?" Bane said opening the door seeing you tossing on the floor.

"Research. How do you lay on this? It's so uncomfortable," you asked sitting up.

If Bane would have had eyebrows he would have raised one, "On ma stomach."

You flipped over already regretting it with the pressure on your breast holding you up, you tucked forward using them as a head rest and surprisingly it made it mildly comfortable but the rock still felt uncomfortable against your hips, "Interesting, it does make it mildly more comfortable," you pushed your arms up and jumped back on your shoes landing next to him, "Enjoy your heat bath. Sorry for the delay," you gave him a small courtesy nod before walking out of the room.

Bane's eyes were glued to your back side as you laid down, eyeing the curve of your waist in the dress down to your ass sticking up to how you politely had your ankles crossed acting like a lady. Bane wasn't a gentleman by any means but after a once or twice look over he shifted his eyes to the walls remembering the not so favorable memories of home. He was amused by your attempt to learn about his species wondering if you were like this about every alien race or just his. Before he could asked the bold flirtatious question you had jumped up and left. Bane ripped his hat to her peeling his clothes after he pressed the on button enjoying the warmth of the room but noticed it didn't feel as warm or as inviting as when your hot breath had touch him. He curled his lip back, Ain't no woman making me soft, he thought turning up the heat before settling himself down on the rock, even if she's hot, mouthy, dangerous and smart.

You strolled into the cantina with Bane grumbling about going to the bar, following after him you swirled your stool around scanning the cliental when you finally found him waiting two drinks near the gambling tables, "You know it would have been beneficial to tell me who were looking for," you poked, "Now excuse me, I have some business to care off."

"Look at you, beautiful as the stars themselves. Now where have you been?" he smiled handing you the drink.

"It's what one calls a prolonged vacation," you laughed, "I needed a break."

"You? a break? Ha. Now what are you doing with Bane, hmm? Dangerous fellow."

"So are we," you pointed out, "He showed up looking for a book and you know how I get." Trailing your gaze around the room you saw the countless stares at him and women fawning over him a few that had stares like ex lovers.

"Hondo Ohnaka," Bane drawled out looking at the man, "What'cha doin' with my associate?"

"We go way back," Hondo said patting your back, "Now do you mind? We were just getting to some business," he sighed watching Bane move into a close table, "As I was going to say, I did happen to stumble upon the information you were looking for, it does come with a price."

"I do see a sabbac table with some... wealthy people."

"You are speaking my language," Hondo smiled grabbing his drink offering you his arm pulling you into his lap as he sat at the table, "Say 80-20?" he whispered.

"70-30," you countered.

"You do know how to make a bargain and I have a feeling I am about to be a wealthier man."

Bane watched the game noticing the various cheats and tricks jaw tempted to drop when Hondo and you won barely doing any thing. How smart is she? He breathed a small contempt growl watching Hondo light up about you returning to the playing field before ushering you back off the table.

"You must teach me how you do that" Hondo exclaimed.

"You wouldn't have need of me anymore if I did," you countered smiling at.

"You do have a point but you know many than then I," Hondo said cutting you your percentage and sliding it across the table.

"And the information?"

Hondo's hand flicked to his blaster and shot the man walking through the door, "Hondo you can't keep shooting my exes!" you busted out.

"But it is such a fun game," Hondo feigned being wounded by the comment, "His face was... to ugly for the beauty in this room," he dismissed tucking the blaster away.

Bane looked down at the dead mammal in the door way that was getting dragged away. He heard you laughing letting his eyes peak and listened to the conversation as his curiosity peaked to if only had interest in other mammals. His olfactory gland tingled with a change in the air, he looked around finding another Duros walking in and joining the two of you at the table. The man slide into the booth side with her slipping her an info disk. "Chassis," he grumbled smelling the faint arousal coming off him. He saw the man lean over his mouth widening to bite her. His pulled his blaster out and shot him, twirling the gun putting it back in his holster. He strutted over and his body out of the seat and sat down.

"You wound me, Bane. He was not going to kill her. Do you think I would let someone kill my best friend, hmm?"

"Don' care. Don' want ma associate gettin' tangled up in dings dats none of her business."

You scowled at him slipping the disk into your pocket, "Do you know how much data I could have collected? If you find another, you know how to contact me." You stepped up onto the table and dropped down heading towards the ladies room to wipe the faint green blood off your dress. Getting in the door you barely had time to react when big hands found you clicking an injector into you. Hazily you left yourself get picked up before you were out.

"Wastin' time, wheras she?" Bane said noticing how long you were gone, "somethin's not right," he got up and shoved the refresher door open which got a couple yelps from the ladies, "Lookin' for my associate, you'd seen her?" Bane said staring them down, they all shook their heads. He could still faintly smell you crouching down he took in the faint smell of fear, "Dagnabbit!" He said getting up trying to track the faint smell but there was to many people in the building. As soon as he got outside the smell finally found him and he took off in it's direction, "Todo, girlies been kidnapped. Get eyes up," he commed in through his wrist band.

"I am not a surveillance droid-"

"Now Todo," he barked dropped back down finding the faint smell of blood. He flicked it with his tongue and revolting spitting it out, your smell clung to it but it wasn't yours. He got up guns draw, fresh blood so you were around here somewhere. He meticulously eyed every few point above seeing if anyone was trying to get the drop on him before he continued following the trail of blood. He found you leaning against the wall weakly holding your knifes as they were slowly falling out of your fingers and the body discarded on the floor next to you.

"I forgot how much I really hate people," you whispered the knifes finally falling out of your grasp and your butt hitting the ground.

"Aint'chu deadly lil lady, drugged 'nd still won," he said impressively watching your hands fumble for the knifes wiping them off on the man's clothes before tucking them back into your sleeves.

"I think... it's time for nap," your body's adrenaline rush finally ending succumbing to whatever was in the injector.

"Brin' da ship, I found 'er."

"Yes, Mr. Bane."

Bane hauled you on before looking over the body, no evidence, no sign of anything that would give him a clue. He scoffed and walked back on board taking you to the bed station to sleep whatever it was off. Bane quickly hooked up the warm.. cooling mammal and he forced his hands to work faster hissing when the read up came revealing a poison. He hauled the equipment and her into the heating room to try keep her alive as Todo flew them to the nearest medical station. He grabbed her com noticing a new message from an unknown device, he opened it and saw the message, "Next time." He flicked another toothpick into his mouth as he watched clammy sweat break out over your body, he attempted to turn down the heat when he faintly felt you grab one of his fingers.

"Turn it up," you breathed.

"Ain't gonna do dat, ya warm bloods ain't meant for heat."

"Heat negates the poison, need heat," you barely got out the dizziness causing your eyes to reel back and close.

Against his better judgement he turned up the heat. Weak lil mammals, so tender and easy to hurt. Slowly your color started returning but remained unconscious. His hand touched your arm watching you fly forward staring at his hand.

"Freeezing," your teeth chattered but he could feel the sweat breaking out across your skin.

He pulled his hand back but you placed them on your face, "Poison done?" He felt you nod and he removed one hand to shut the heat off watching you relax. You were boiling under his touch, "Cookin' alive, warn'd ya warm blood."

"Rather die from heat then poison," you gridded out trying to stand up but your legs failing.

"Room won' open til it cools in here," Bane removed his coat, vest and pants leaving him in a tank top and shorts "Ya brain betta be worth it," he hissed climbing into the cot uncomfortably feeling you basically head butt his chest to look your head, "How'd ya know about the poison?"

"One of the plants from Vossos. My mouth tasted like dirt, educated guess."

"Ya could'a been wrong."

"I am seldom wrong," you offered subconsciously moving a little closer to him, "Thanks for being my ice pack."

"Whuttunt 'bout to have ya die before ya could make ma credits," Bane paused playing with his toothpick, "Why're ya gonna let that Duros bite ya?"

"Testing my pain tolerance, wondering how long his scent would be in the mark, how far is the tracking range, if it would mask part of my scent," you paused grabbed the disk thankful it wasn't damaged, "At least this should have some of the answers."

"Why da interest in my species?"

"The more I know about you, your species, your behavior and reactions the more I can be of assistance. If I am to be joining you for who knows how long then it would help."

"Why'd ya not just me?"

"You seem to just ooze answers," you said sarcastically.

"One rotation, 'cross town or two, no, makes it stronga," he huffed out.

"Was that so hard?"

"Woman.." he growled his lip twitching.

"Fine. Are you aware the room has been cool for a few minutes," hastily he removed himself from you adjusting his clothing back together, "I was not complaining just making an observation," finally able to sit up, your head started swimming and you laid back down grabbing the chart looking at your vitals with a small groans.

"Whats'it?"

"Nothing," you forced yourself to stand up the room spinning, you attempted to walk a straight however your feet kept gently pulling you left, "It will pass."

"Somethin' you ain't tellin' me. Hurry it up, was' it?" Bane could smell it like a brush with death fear from her pores, "Back on da table, don' need you crookin' on me yet."

"Yet, funny," you retorted mockingly getting to the table laying down.

"Need anythin'?" he asked.

"Do you have bacta on board?"

He repeated it back scowling, " 'course I do."

"Bacta, the alcohol, a spoon and a glass," you watched him sunder off to grab the supplies quietly pissed at yourself for letting someone get the drop on you and in the refresher no less how obvious. Obvious. You grabbed your com device seeing the already opened message. Was it to kill me or was to get Bane's attention? You pondered it until he came back.

"I think the person who ordered the attack on me is the same person who paid for the first bounty when we first met," you said taking the supplies from him pouring the bacta into the whiskey wildly stirring it and slamming it back your face wrinkling in disgust.

"How'd ya figure?"

"Poison from the planet you met me on, poisoning the bounty, poison only specifically known in the book I showed you. Some who was watching us or you specifically... Cad Bane invites random girl on a score and the same girl to a cantina. Shooting the man I was flirting with might have been seen as not an innocent gesture. All of it seems coincidental," you said feeling the Bacta finally starting to scrub you from the inside.

"Ya got a point," he mumbled putting a fresh toothpick in mouth and adjust his hat, his finger tips one by one drumming on his hip.

"Let's continue with the job at hand, 'Next time' suggest they are going to try again however this time I will be more prepared... which is what they will be anticipating. Hmm. A dilemma."

"Ya think to much," he said trying to distract himself from how hot you looked when thinking.

"What is it?" you asked noticing him staring at you.

Whether it was the hormones raging in his system or his own interest in you he walked up and pinned your sitting form between his hands. Both of you under his wide brimmed he offered you his tooth pick. You leaned forward curious about the deeper meaning of it given Todo said he kills people who touches his tooth picks. Curiously you leaned forward watching him lean just the faintest bit forward your lips and his cool skin touching for a moment, a shadow of a kiss.

"Thinkin' it's worth ya time," he said letting out a raspy chuckle pulling back grabbing the supplies.

Your heart felt like it stopped for a moment, the gesture seemed so out of place for a man like him, "Bane, we're you seeing if I was going to kiss you?" you asked. Everything you've read suggested Bane showed he even rivaled Jango Fett as one of the most ruthless and toughest bounty hunters.

"Don' go gehet'n any wrong i'deres 'bout me, if I wanna I woulda."

"Thank you for the toothpick," you opted to say, "You coulda howeva," you said joking repeating his accent standing up to test the effects of the bacta, "Internal bacta would have been preferred but that did a satisfactory job. We can head back to the Cantina, you still need to show me who we're looking for."

Bane snatched the toothpick out of your mouth, "I warned ya not to be messin' round with dis Duros," putting his face infront of your glaring at you with a deep throated growl.

"You shot the one I was interested in, it's only fair  or fair if you find me another one. Finding one short notice wasn't cheap," you hissed squinting back at him.

"Woman, ya playin a dangerous game."

"Bane-" you began to say as Todo came wizzing in.

"Oh my, am I interrupting again? I have a tendency to interrupt during his sexual encounters, often. Mr. Bane we are at the Medical Station however she should get looked out before you two continue this."

"You weren't, I concur about getting looked at," your tone returned to flat indifference as you side stepped the bolero hat wearing cowboy falling Todo to the docking station. The door opened to a small med team waiting, astonished when you were through the door and sat in their chair, "This should be quick," you told Todo, letting them wheel you away.

Bane hadn't moved from the spot when you walked out clumsily but still holding your head held up high. He clenched his jaw teeth exposed when he say Todo come back, "interrupt 'gain 'll be usin you for ship parts."

"Mr. Bane you are just grumpy from your Durosian-"

"Can it," he growled finally collecting himself, "both you are yappin to ma 'bout it."

"It is only natural, your species is attracted to intelligence. Unlike your past lovers she is extremely intelligent-"

Bane gave him a warning shot next to his head finally getting him to quiet. He stalked onto the med bay people hurriedly moving out of his notorious path following your scent to the bed where you were propped up while they ran test on you and let the Bacta do it's job. Unlike your earlier annoyance at him you were back to being jovial intellectual, unabashedly flirting with the male Togrutas nurse.

"You're lucky this one knows her stuff," the male nurse pointed out with a tiny wink, "Smart girl."

"Smar' mouth too," Bane added glaring at him til he left taking a free chair stretching out his legs and crossing them, "Hows'it?"

"No permanent damage, got scolded for drinking Bacta but it was the right call. Just got to wait till this bag empty's and I'm good to go, bill's been taken care off."

"I ain't worried 'bout no dang bill. Ya lucky it did ruin dat precious brain of yas."

"On that I do agree."

"Listen woman 'bout earlier-"

"Not here, never know who's listening," you said finding the unknown message pop up again 'Listen to her,' you showed Bane the message causing him to snarl. Blinked several times you attempted to out think the biological reaction that it caused but the smirk on his face proved he knew. Darting your glance around the room  you didn't notice thing that seemed out of place, nothing electronic besides the machines next to you were buzzing, "Hmm," your hands fondled the comm device your fingers flipped it over and popped it apart studying each component until you find the barely noticeable chip that didn't belong. You ripped it out handing to Bane, "Shoot this and give me yours," Bane teeth bared as he grabbed the tiny chip setting it on the floor tossing you his as he shot it. Taking it apart you found another one in his, he took the chip stomped on it a few times with the heel of his boot before blasting it but then the nurses arrived in a panic, "Apologies, there was a bug. Bill me for the damages."

"I'll squish bugs for you ma'am," the male nurse winked before walking off with the other nurses.

Bane stood up squinting at his retreating figure felling your warm touch against his cool hand, "whuttunt gonna kill him," he lied.

"The look in your face says otherwise, same look you have before you shoot."

"How much ya been studyin' me?"

"Enough to know, Cowboy."

Bane sat down feeling your warmth retreat back to your mammalian body, interlacing your fingers together as you stared at the almost empty bag. Fidgeting he turned up the temperature his heat suit and gloves again to compensate for sudden spike and decline of heat. He watched the nurse with upturned lips letting his fangs be exposed as he came back unhooking you from the machine.

You rolled your eyes at him but allowed it as a substitute to shooting the innocent man. He helped you to your feet checking your balance before handing you a clean bill of health. The moment the door closed on The Justifier Bane shoved you against the wall gently sinking his teeth into your lips until he tasted the warm underneath spill into his mouth. Your fist clenched due to the pain but it was surprisingly pleasurable. The crimson of him bore into you gauging your reaction and his olfactory sense smelling the sweet gush that flooded you. You felt him retract his teeth letting his tongue flicked over the small wounds, a whispered barely noticeable recognizable sound came out of your mouth.

"Were goin' back to the Cantina, if dey try again I'll know were to fin' ya," he said walking off just to hear your footsteps behind him following him to the pilot seat. He watched you bend over him in the chair tilting his hat back feeling your teeth into his lower lip, he growled but you didn't stop. He yanked you into his lap feeling the sudden rush of heat pressing against him, then he tasted it the faint hit of his green in his mouth typically any form of spilling his blood lead to a quick merciless death.

You ran your tongue over the marks committing the taste of him to memory, before giving him a small kiss on the marks but hold on to you firm, "Did you require an analysis of the data?" you asked wiggling but he didn't give.

"Ya the one of da only ones livin to tell da tale, so tell ma," his voice was deeper lustful, the breathing apparatus strained trying to catch up with his breaths.

"Esalacha" you whispered the Durese word for excellent feeling his finger tips dig into you deeper, "It was only fair," you added making a show of the marks on the inside of your bottom lip as you pouted it at him. You listened to the metal hiss of his breathing machine as he practically ripped it off exposing deep sunken cheeks, you hand easily a dozen questions about how it worked given he didn't have a nose so how did he breath? You were lost in thought staring at his cheeks when you felt his lips press against yours forcibly. Focusing on the coolness you pushed against his lips with more force bring your hands to his jaw holding him. The sensation of his was like thousand of sparks ignited into a roaring wild fire. The foreign cool of his skin kept you grounded to the difference between the two of you, mammal and reptile, couple opposites in every sense of the word. Thumbing the recessed curve of his cheek he shoved you back violently making you stand. You blinked rapidity combing over all of the information you had on him and the Duros people leaving you to wonder what you did wrong as nothing sprung forth. You simples nodded retreating from the room not wanting to upset the ill tempered Duros further by asking questions to the cause of his behavior. You hoped up onto your bunk with your book opening it, throwing a knife above Todo's head, "If we haven't landed do not disturb me."

"Bane is requesting your pres-."

"If he needs me he can com me his question or can get me himself if it's important," you said flatly turning the page ignoring the flutter of your heart with the seething of anger coursing through you at his behavior. Logical as it was between the coursing of Duros hormones and being aware you were attractive woman, the hot and cold treatment was rather effective at reminding you to keep him at arms length regardless of how attractive he was. When Todo left you didn't bother to remove the blade leaving it implanted into the wall as a warning incase he came in again. Finally feeling the ship dock again you closed the book hoping down sticking the vibro blade back into the sheath of your sleeve. Peering out the view port you were back on Corellia. As soon as the ramp lowered you were walking off hearing Banes breathing apparatus and footsteps approaching. Hearing the sizzle of fire you turned around seeing Bane's boots flaming him into the air until he landed next to you. You rolled your eyes not nothing to look at his lean up tight form but out of the corner of your eye you noticed he was wearing is hat lower shadowing more of his face.

"No hard feelings," you mumbled giving him a bluff of a genuine smile holding the door of the Cantina open for him.

"Need'sa drink, wan'cha to join me."

"Are you going to talk about earlier?"

"Nah, it woul' be wastin' my breath."

"If that is how you feel then I will respect that," you replied putting on a chipper attitude, "So who are we looking for?"

" 'im" Bane said pointing his toothpick at the man sitting alone in a booth.

Eyes finding the man your jaw dropped, "We're lookin for Hondo?"

"Didn' get da time to say."

You slid into the seat next to Hondo letting Bane take the empty side, "Gorgeous, I was wondering were you two had run off too leaving me here alone with no company."

"Got kidnapped and had to deal with being poisoned, I'm sorry to keep you waiting."

"Poisoned? Back on your feet already tsk you should be resting but you have always been one of kind tough."

You tapped your skull, "My brains do much my beauty after all," you winked.

"That they do, dangerous combination. I believe you're looking for this," Hondo mumbled sliding the disk across the table to Bane's quick hand sliding it into his pocket sliding credits back across the table at him.

"Now I must insist you keep me company."

"Actually Bane promised me a drink first."

"Don't be hogging this beauty to yourself, Bane. Tsk have fun, if not," Hondo said shrugging, "you owe me a drink on your next vacation."

"Maybe two drinks if you're nice," you teased.

Bane left wordless to the bar counter, "Whiskay two," he said tapping his fingers on the place in front of him watching you slide into the seat next to him.

"Ya an' Hondo a thing?" he asked.

"Hondo? Maker no, not my type, but we're both shameless flirts and there's no harm in it."

"What is ya type?" he asked.

"A man to smart for his own good anything beyond that it doesn't really matter to me."

Both of you turned to stare at each other mutually perceiving it was the same answer. Bane took took his drink sipping on it, woman's making me soft, his lip twitched into his drink as he took another swig.

"Why did you push me off? Do you breath from your cheeks?" You question.

"Ya were actin' soft, I don' do soft."

"You want to see my fire?" You said cocking your head to the side raising with a mischievous smile, “You won’t it if I do.”

“Let’ quit wastin’ time and go,” he growled leaning into your ear his hand going to the slit in your dress letting his long fingers spread wide across your thigh gripping it like he was dangling in the air being held with you as his ropes, “Drat woman,” he flutter smelling how coated your inner warmth was for him, “Betta gehet outta here before I change my min’ “

Swiftly you got up and shoved him into the bar counter by the base of his throat with your nails, “No more games, Bane, yes or no,” you glared, “Just because you’ve charmed your way into most of the ladies here doesn’t mean you will with me. You can’t be the only smart intelligent man in the galaxy.”

He unwrapped finger for his whiskey, “Woman, ya best remove your han’ if ya know what’s good for ya.”

You pressed yourself into him your hand moving to the back of his neck pulling him to your face until you were hovering just centimeters from his thins lips. He broke the distance his teeth grazing the wounds reopening them giving you a deep vocal growl. Your hand vibrated on the back of his neck from the noise, you gave him a soft moan into his mouth slowly removing your hand from his heat suit running down his leathered chest.

He grabbed your hand backwards stirring you towards the door, “Don’ do dat in public again,” he hissed.

“Only in private?” you leered, feeling his free hand go to your throat pushing you back up the ramp.

His tongue flicked over your lips not so gently breaching your mouth feeling every inch of your mouth that he could reach as he continued you push you back threw the ship to the cell room tossing you onto the coat, “if ya play ya cards right this time,” he finally answered tossing off his gloves, breathing device and coat. Smirking over the lust in your eyes looking at him , “Ya smell good,” he purred slowly stalking towards you like the predator he is.

You tried be un-phased by the noise but you couldn’t help the little squirm that made him grin wider. You stared up into his narrowed eyes. His gaze alone pinning you in place even if he wasn’t touching you yet, “Going to keep making me wait, Cowboy?”

“No ma’am,” Bane purred.

[missmimieux]

“you are more than you know.”

Notes: Hiiii! So this is literally my first time writing on here, and I have no clue what I’m doing so please go easy on me. I took an insane amount of liberty with the timeline in this story, so if you’re a stickler for correct chronology I suggest that you don’t read this. I tried to proof read this as much as I could but I’m sorry for the mistakes that I missed. Please tell me how I can improve my writing to make it easier to understand. This is the first of what I hope to be a few more chapters….idkkkk we’ll see how this is received. Please bare with me when it comes to the timeline, hopefully it’ll make more sense later on.

Update: Chapter 3 is live!

Summary: Reader becomes Darth Vader’s padawan as she journeys to find stability and acceptance. This is first chapter is essentially a preface with background info on the story and the character. Pairing: Darth Vader x f! Reader, Mando x f! Reader (i know, i know, bare with me)

Warnings: angst, fluff, use of Y/N, abuse, enslavement, nicknames like “good girl, bunny, little one”, slight dom/sub dynamics, alcohol, death, public embarrassment, crying. This is a mess.

When you turned 18, you came to the Empire in search of stability and community. Your enslaver had agreed to let you go on your 18th birthday and begrudgingly stayed true to his word. Upon arrival at the nearest Imperial base on Tatooine you were asked to prove yourself worthy of the Empire. You were given weapons and an opponent. Your opponent was a girl, roughly the same age as you. She wore a training set similar to yours. She was quick and ruthless with her attacks, and you struggled to keep up. You collected yourself and focused your mind to try and out smart her, but the punches kept coming. She drew a knife from her waist band and threw it across the room, aiming at your face. You sensed it was coming, and willed it to stop mid-air. The tip of the dagger was mere inches from your nose and the room stood in deafening silence. A platoon leader who was watching the fight quickly left the room and returned just a minute later with someone whom you could tell was a much higher rank. He smiled as he approached you, and you stiffened under his gaze. He circled you as he spoke, “Did you know you possessed this ability, dear?” he said. “Yes.” you said in a slightly embarrassed tone, realizing you probably should’ve mentioned it prior to your altercation. He turned around and wagged a finger towards you, prompting you to quickly follow him down a shiny black hallway. The two of you reached a pair of ominous metal doors, the man turned to you and said “There are some people who would like to meet you.” . You braced yourself for what, or who lay behind the door. An elongated table similar to the the color of the hallway stretched out in front of you. You looked around the long table at the various people and creatures who sat stiffly in their black uniforms. You felt a chill run down your spine as everyone’s eyes turned to you, and you suddenly felt extremely underdressed in your Empire issued training set. You stepped to the middle of the room expecting to be interrogated as to your behavior in the fighting ring. Your hairs stood on the back of your neck as you heard heavy breaths behind you. “Face me, my child.” Your heart stopped. You knew exactly who was speaking, and it frightened you to no end. You turned to face the source of the voice. As he came into view your blood ran cold, and you felt as if you were about to faint. He laughed and spoke “There is no need to be frightened, child. You are Y/N, aren’t you?” You averted your gaze somewhat of out respect, but mostly fear. “Yes, my lord.” you squeaked out. He spoke again, “Good. I have heard you possess unnatural abilities?” he inquired. “Yes, Lord Vader, I do.”. You started to shake. He spoke, “Have you ever been taught how to use these skills?”. You furrowed your brow in confusion, you hadn’t realized your powers were something that could be taught. You replied, “No, my lord.”. He quickly answered, “Very good. We will begin tomorrow, I require a new protege, a padawan perhaps, to help me expand our Empire.”. Your gaze lifted to his mask in apprehension. Did he know you had just arrived today? Did he realize you had no training, of any kind? You were no soldier. You were no leader. He felt your anxiety and lifted his hand in the air as if to stop your thoughts . “Do not work yourself up, child. You are much more than you know.”

You quickly grew to care for your new Master. He was constructive, passionate and wise. He told you about all the planets in the galaxy and the Empire’s plans to make the galaxy a safer, better place. You felt your heart soar when you thought about being a part of such a wonderful thing. Your strength grew, and your skills would soon surpass your Master’s. You would follow him wherever he went, in part because you were his padawan, but deep down you knew you followed him because you wanted his attention, his praise and his love, all the time. Your thoughts began to scare you, would stay up at night thinking about what he looked like under his mask, and what his life was like before the Empire. Sometimes in your dreams, you would see flashes of his face, smiling and laughing. His hair was long and his smile was beautiful. When you would wake, you would chock your dreams up to your wild imagination, but these visions of him became more and more frequent as your bond grew. Soon you were inseparable and you would often spend time alone together. He became affectionate towards you, touching your arm or face soon became a daily occurrence.

During a particularly heavy sparring session you had bested him with your new saber. Having trained for almost a year, this felt like a full circle moment for both you and Vader. He quickly retracted his saber and rushed towards you. You feared he was charging forward to hurt you for winning and you turned to run away from him. He caught your face and held it for a moment before he spoke softly, “I’m so proud of you, little one.” he said, you could hear him smiling. “You’re growing stronger each day.” He felt his chest swell with pride. “Soon you will stand by my side and we will rule the galaxy, together”. You felt your throat start to close and tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. You held his hands and squeezed them, confirming your feelings to him. You knelt down and looked up at him with blurry vision “Thank you.” you said “Thank you for giving me this gift , my lord.” , you imagined what his smile looked like, just like in your visions and you wished you could kiss him.

A few cycles ago, you and Vader had finally been left alone in his throne room. The day had been quite successful, the Empire had gained ground on a particularly stubborn planet and it looked as though the Empire would soon have the planet in its grasp. You were proud of the way your master had handled the situation, as he had made great strides for the Empire that day. The two of you milled about the throne room watching the fires of Mustafar splash below. Your feelings had been mutual for some time now, and you increasingly wanted to find a way to express them to him. You slowly made your way towards him, and flashed a sly smile in his direction. He let out an airy laugh and said “What’s going on in your little head, bunny?”, he knew that nickname got to you. “Oh, nothing, my lord.” you said, you knew that name got to him. He chuckled again and said “Is that so? “ , you nodded and he said, “Then why are you looking at me as if you’re a loth cat in heat?”. Your skin started to heat and your nerves grew. You giggled nervously and reached your hands to lift his helmet. You froze as you felt a shift in the force and the mood between you. He grabbed your wrists and pulled you close to his face. “DO NOT TOUCH MY MASK, CHILD!” he yelled, but his tone quickly morphed into something more deranged and possessive. “It doesn’t belong to you does it, bunny?” He searched your face for an answer, but you were to stunned to speak. He shook you and prompted you to answer him “Huh?”, he said. Your eyes widened upon realizing he expected an answer, and you shook your head no. “Good girl.”, you could hear him smiling again. Bile burned in your throat, and your hands shook. It frighted you how quickly his demeanor changed, you hadn’t yet experienced his wrath first hand. He dropped your wrists and you ran to your quarters. You cried yourself to sleep that night. You didn’t know at the time, but Vader had come to your room later that night to check on you, but found you asleep. He decided it was best for him to stay and keep watch, just in case something happened.

This experience had taught you better than to try and pull a stunt like that again. Still on your knees, Vader pulled you up and began to walk with his arm around your waist. He pulled you close and whispered “I love you, little one.” You smiled brightly because you knew it was true, and replied, “I love you, my lord.”

You had left the day he died. You didn’t feel the need to stay, as once he was gone, there was nothing left for you there. Vader had told you about his hidden escape routes in case of emergencies and you knew the Empire would kill you if you openly left. You decided to pick Navarro as it was a moderately inhabited planet and you had a good chance of finding an isolated dwelling and fading into oblivion. You stole an escape pod and plugged in the coordinates. Once the gravity of what happened hit you, you started to wail. You lost the only home you ever knew and the love you ever had, in one fell swoop. It took a whole for the pod to land on Navarro, but the time it did, you had become desensitized by the pain, determined to creat a new, simple life on this planet.

Those dreams were dashed soon after when you realized you would need food and money. You quickly resorted to pickpocketing and stealing from local merchants. The guilt of stealing settled in fast and you began to search for other ways to make ends meet. You spent your days walking about the local fruits stands, asking to help with laborious jobs. At the market an older woman you had helping warned you against bounty hunting, and you pressed her for more information. The more you learned the more you felt the skills you had been taught by your master could prove very useful in this profession. Your master. Vader. The pain knocked the wind out of you. You thanked her for your pay and briskly walked towards an alley. Your knees started to buckle and you latched on to the nearest wall. You steadied yourself and took a second to breathe. You tried to hold the tears back but they flowed freely of their own accord. You sunk to the dirt road, you felt embarrassed for exposing such vulnerability in public but quickly abandoned the feeling once the pain hit you again. You calmed yourself down, steadied your breath and stood. You started to walk down the dirty alley and found a hole-in-the-wall bar. You walked in and placed yourself at a small table set for one. About an hour later and 3 drinks in, your daydreams of Vader were interrupted by boisterous laughter coming from an older man across the bar. He seemed to be giving out holopads to numerous, relatively intimidating creatures. Your curiosity rose, the alcohol racing through you had you feeling courageous enough to ask him what the holopads were all about. You plopped down across from the man and gave him a tired smile. “And who the hell are you?” he asked. Your courageous demeanor faltered at his tone. “ Y/N, I’m just wondering….What’s your name?” you asked. He shot you an annoyed look and rolled his eyes. “Karga, my name is Greef Karga, now can you get out of my booth please?” he spoke quite patronizingly at you, but that only spurred you on more. “And what do you do Greef Karga?” you asked rather hazily. “I’m a business man.” he said. You quickly snipped back, “Well what kind of business? I’m dying to know.”. He huffed and said “I give out these pucks here to bounty hunters, each puck contains an outstanding warrant for a criminal and a price to be paid for the capture of said criminal.” You happily hummed and said, “That’s what I want to do, Greef Karga. I think I’d be a very good bounty hunter.” It seemed as if the entire bar had been listening to the conversation because suddenly everyone bursted out in laughter. You felt your skin warm and the embarrassment you felt spurred a determination you hadn’t felt since Vader first bested you. “I’m serious” you said. This statement seemed to make him laugh even harder. “No, I’m really serious.” you insisted. His laughter subsided as he spoke. “Listen, here’s what I’ll do. How about I give you a seasoned bounty hunter to follow for a little, until you learn the ropes. If he says you can handle yourself, then you got the job. Deal?” He stuck out his hand and you shook it in an instant. “Alright” he said. “In two days I’ve got a bounty hunter coming in, very experienced, very patient and very much in debt to me.” He laughed at his own joke as you sipped your drink. He spoke again,” I want you to meet him outside this bar in two days at dusk, got it?” You nodded, fingers twiddling with excitement and anticipation. “Good.” he said as he shooed you out of his booth. As you walked out of the bar you heard him laugh and banter with a few fellows sitting behind him. “Greef, you’re gonna kill the poor girl, what made you think the Mandalorian was gonna go easy on her?”. You hid under the window by his table. He turned his head toward the blue Twi’lek as he bursted out in laughter, “I DIDN’T!” the group began to wheeze and Karga finished his thought.

“Mando is a great hunter but he’s a pain in my ass, always so uptight and angry with me. He caused so much trouble for me with that little green monster, I’m thinking this will teach him better than to screw me over next time he isn’t happy with his share.” You walked towards your dwelling, shivering from the cold. Thoughts of what would happened raced through your mind. “A Mandalorian?” you said to yourself. Fear started to settle in. Vader had told you about how awful those Mandalorian zealots were. You worried about the trip and the fate of your new profession. You made a promise to yourself to make a good impression on your first day. You comforted yourself the rest of the night with thoughts of your master and cried yourself to sleep, again.

[paintedscales]

How does your character deal with unpleasant sensations? Things like mosquito bites, pulled muscles, papercuts, etc. Are they the sort of person who hates them more because they're minor things and not really worth the complaint (but they're going to complain about them anyway), or do they just take a breath and get on with it?

Sorry it's taken me a hot minute to answer this. I have a number of items in my inbox that have been stewing for a bit while I manage other things and find some spoons to use. XD I always appreciate the inbox questions, of course, so thank you so much! I hope you've been doing well. ; w ; / ♥

When it comes to unpleasant sensations, Nomin has periods of time where she has to deal with shedding or peeling scales, which makes her skin really itchy and tender. ; w ; She has some special salves, lotions, and creams for alleviating the irritations, and if she gets vilekin bites or rashes from things like poison oak, she would likely use these products to help soothe and alleviate those as well.

On the Steppe, Nomin's quite blasé about dealing with her scales and helping them to shed off because it's just a natural part of au ra life -- she even keeps her shed scales to help reinforce some of her clothing and armor. I think it's only in Eorzea where maybe she heard an offhand comment about how her picking at or dealing with her shedding scales was 'unnatural and gross' that she's just like, "; w ; Oh...well then..." and will hide away to deal with them in an inn or tavern room she's rented (or whatever shelter she has where she has some sense of privacy).

The scales thing is just a more predominant part of her life and the main source of mild discomfort that she could easily reference if someone did inquire about it. Otherwise, small bites or rashes, she kind of just gets on with her life while tending to them with some applications of salve. It'd have to be extremely constant for her to complain about it. So...maybe if she ran out of her product and would need more, she would probably be embarrassed about it whenever she complained.

[star1117-archives]

🎧 >:)

HOTEL CALIFORNIA - THE EAGLES

s.mg x gn!reader / spooky (?) thriller / no warnings / unedited

the hotel felt strange, to say the least.

it didn’t feel strange in the bogeyman, things go bump in the night way, not in the slightest, but it had an off putting aura. it just felt… unnatural in a sense. the staff would sometimes keep eye contact for a little too long, the drinks would have a tang no alcohol could produce, the rooms seemed ten times smaller and a hundred times hotter when the lights were out. but the worst part was the nausea, that paranoia and innate dread gnawing away like a desperate rat.

mingi didn’t like rats.

there was an upside however to this place, a major (if not the sole factor) that he had stayed the night despite every cell in his body thrumming with danger. the hotel owner, y/n. you were beautiful, more beautiful than the blossoming of flowers on a spring day. your face was jovial and inviting, your smile able to melt the coldest of hearts.

mingi mistook you for an angel that morning, a heavenly glow encapsulating you as you idly sat in a window sill. when you cursed as the ring you had been fidgeting with fell on the floor however, he knew it couldn’t be so. he was quick to pick it up when it rolled to his feet, the metal surprisingly warm in his grasp. pacing closer, he extended his hand to you and you took it with a grateful smile, standing up and brushing your clothes straight before speaking.

“thank you, sir. god, i don’t know what i would’ve done if i’d lost that.”

mingi chuckled bashfully and scratched his neck, a warm blush creeping onto his cheeks. he then coughed, trying not to sputter his words out or say something stupid.

“i… i thought you were an angel.”

“… excuse me?”

fuck, he said that out loud ???

you gave him an awkward chuckle, suddenly focused very intently on your feet. sighing, mingi sounded defeated yet reassuring as he uttered his next words.

“im sorry if i offended you, that wasn’t my intention. i meant that you looked like one with the sunlight and how you looked happy and-”

looking up, you gave mingi a smile and placed a hand on his arm, stopping his word vomit in its tracks.

“you haven’t offended me, love. it has just been a while since i’ve been complimented, you caught me off guard.”

smiling warmly back at you, mingi’s gaze was intent as his ears tinted red slightly. you thought it was pretty cute.

“surely it must be a crime for such an attractive person to not be complimented everyday. my name’s mingi.”

whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck ?!?!?!!?

feeling a heat creeping onto your face, you then withdrew your hand and tried to keep yourself from freaking out, internally composing yourself before you spoke.

“i’m y/n. nice to meet you, mingi. i’m the owner of hotel california, so please let me know if you need anything.”

mingi hesitated for a second, contemplating on commenting on the strange aura of the hotel. if he knew you were the owner, he might’ve spent less time gawking at you the past few days and more time inquiring about his weird ass room.

“ah, there might be something you can help me with. is there any way i could possibly move to a different room?”

your face darkened at this, so quickly and so drastically that it made a cold chill run down his spine. the sunlight had coincidentally moved behind the clouds, and the lack of sun made the features more prominent in the shadows. there was a look in your eye that unsettled mingi, unsettled something so integral within him that goosebumps erupted everywhere. that nauseous feeling also returned, intensifying as you drew closer to him.

“it won’t go away, song mingi. it’s got you now, we’ve got you.”

mingi wasn’t so sure you were a good enough reason to stay anymore, now you seemed yet another reason to leave. there was something that this encounter had confirmed however, something that he hadn’t expected in the slightest.

you seemed to be the source of the nausea.

SEND ME A 🎧

[fsnhair1]

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[brantleybrantley45]

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[tartagliaxx]

Hello! I really love your flower event and your writing is so beautiful! May I please request Albedo and heliotropes? Thank you!

Congrats on 500+ followers and I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

“ ALBEDO + HELIOTROPE ”

━━ ☆ PAIRING: albedo/reader

━━ ☆ GENRE: fluff

━━ ☆ SUMMARY: heliotrope | eternal love, devotion

━━ ☆ WARNINGS: slightly canon divergent

there should be disgust, you thought to yourself as you stared at his perfect form, there should be hate so why is there none?

mortals playing gods, creating life from scratch. gods playing mortals, being greedy and selfish and jealous and all that unsightly emotions. albedo playing a role not fitted for him— a sign of mockery and a sign of pride soon to be abandoned. you shouldn't feel pity but you did anyway.  

you supposed that the many years that had passed had done a number on you, softening and making you too empathetic for your own good. is that what it meant to be lonely? is loneliness an empty chalice you bear until you lose heart and wish it upon no one else?

albedo was... artificial — unnatural, and unsightly — an insult to your name but he was also alone and deprived and lonely. he was too human to be a god and too godly to be human. he never quite fits and as did you— you who roamed the soils with a name borrowed from someone else. you who were a god laid forgotten in some distant corner of a library. you who despite learning how to feel like a human would never be human enough to fit in.

"you're staring." blunt and to most, emotionless, but you heard enough voices in your life to recognize the subtle lilt in his.

"and you've been tinkering with that thing for over two hours now."

an interchange you would never have thought you'd be making but one you were thankful for, regardless. albedo's soft chuckle permeated the air and it was too melodic — too perfect — to come out the lips of someone who's not quite a god. meanwhile, the bashful aversion of gaze, the sudden rush of crimson blood, were too rough and unbecoming for someone who was built to be above it.

"if i didn't know any better i'd say you're being quite... needy."

you scoffed, crossing your legs in a manner mortals could only refer to as a defensive gesture. "i am not! i am simply... bored out of my wits."

"how odd. it appears that your boredom suggests an immediate need for my attention."

"you're giving yourself too much credit." you rolled your eyes, shifting your weight as you stared him down indignantly, as faux as it was. "have you ever considered that i only see you as a toy?"

"once but..." albedo momentarily looked up, signs of mischief swimming in his beautiful teals. "even children get tired off their toys after a few years and we've known each other for what? a few hundred?"

"you—!" you coughed, perhaps too flustered than you should be. "you narcissistic asshole!"

"not narcissistic, merely factual."

half of you wanted to blast him off with a huge gust of power, anything to knock that annoyingly pretty knowing smile of his.

"you're being cheeky. i don't like it. maybe you're spending too much time with that knight—"

"captain kaeya? we barely even meet."

there should be hate but there is none. all you could see was the magnificent way his lips were quirked, unabashed in showing you his amusement. too human, your mind screamed in fury, as you bit your lip. too nonchalant with your lost regality.

"are you okay?" albedo frowned, noticing your furrowed brows and distant gaze. it happens more often than you knew but this was the first time he inquired.

"it's—" everything that shouldn't be. mountains full of contradictions and bitter ironies. "nothing."

"if you say so..."

why couldn't he ask further? he was an alchemist for archons' sake! his entire being was made to question this and that so why couldn't he seek the source of your melancholy?

"why do you hold back?" good question. albedo froze when he realized that it didn't come from the familiar voices in his head but from you who was staring at him in confusion. "there's something you want to ask but you never do"

"because i... to be frank, i don't know. yet."

he did know, for the most part, at least. there was a fear that came in pushing your buttons too far— a fear that he will overstep his boundaries and you'll fly away never to return. there was a nagging feeling that he'll mess up somewhere in a relationship he actually cared to maintain. when that happens, he'll be all alone again. a lonely god, a common occurrence. a lonely inhuman being, rarer than a perfect mistake. he shouldn't be thinking much of it but... he didn't want to be left with no one to run to. not again.

"if you say so..." you repeated his words, lips twitching up when albedo huffed at your weak attempt to joke.

sometimes, albedo was too good— too perfect— and it brings your supposedly divine being to shame. he was kind and restrained and ever graceful when you did nothing but wreak havoc on those who dared mispronounce your name. sure, it was millennia ago, when unjustified bouts of anger were considered the norm amongst the gods who walked the earth but did it change the severity of your sins? not even close.

"you're doing it again."

"unfortunately, i am aware."

albedo sighed, leaving his task to stand before you, hands slowly moving a stray strand of your hair away from your face. "then, can i ask this time?"

perhaps you could afford to be honest for a change, the naive voice of your heart echoed in your mind.

"i've lived for far too long when i didn't deserve to. i've walked for miles in mortal soil — foreign lands and all — but without the companionship of the only people who understood what it was to be... to be born like me."

you tipped your head in mourning but you didn't cry. already having spent years upon years shedding tears for the lost, you were sure that none were left in you. "and they were gone while i had to watch everything die around me. the life of a perfect being... everyone told stories of valiance and glory but no one ever speaks about the hidden truth of desolation."

"but then," things changed. "i met you. you who were made in our image. you who is better than us. a fake, a product of arrogance, a thorn to be removed. as a god, i should condemn your existence but as a person who longed to have someone after thousands of years roaming around meaninglessly— forgotten and irrelevant in the grander plans of the universe... to that person, you are a blessing."

"albedo, you—" you grinned at him and it was the first time albedo saw you look so... young and vibrant. so full of the life you ironically lost through the years of living. "you make me less lonely."

you make me less lonely. simple words for the grandest of sentiments. one that he returned wholeheartedly. his feelings— one that he could never quite define before— all summed up in a matter of five ordinary words that held more gravity than ten worlds combined.

"i don't know what to say," he mumbled in reply as he cupped your face in his warm, warm hands. "i've been damned since my creation and for a while, i lived without any idea how to or for what. i can't say that things are better now but... some days i think it's alright as long as i'm not in this alone."

a lonely god and a lonely imposter to the eyes of the world you may be but together, you soften the idea of living in perpetuity into one light and easy dream.

━━ ☆ NOTES: ahhhh!! thank you so much! you sound so sweet and you’re making me gush! i hope you liked this and once again, thank you for taking the time to join in the fun! view the rest of the event shorts here! 💐

[punkpoemprose]

Advent 2021: December 10th- The Love Talker Chapter 13

Universe: Gancanagh/ Fae AU

Rating: M (It’s dark, it’s spooky, it’s sexy without the sex, but our dubcon vibes end here)

Length: 3504 Words

Master post [Here]

Note: Hello, I’m playing catch up for Advent! There will certainly be more Virtual Chemistry coming up as well as an update for A Convenient Arrangement. There will also be some little oneshots and follow ups to previous fics sprinkled in here and there. I don’t know if I’ll actually catch up completely given that everything is Holiday chaos and I’ve just recovered from my vaccination, but we’ll see what happens.

He was trying his best to focus on the repetition, the simplicity of the task as he ran the thick bristled brush through Sven’s fur. It had always been a soothing, meditative task for him, and he needed the comfort it could bring it now more than ever.

“There’s nothing good about this situation.”

Kristoff could feel the unsympathetic gaze of the reindeer laying heavily upon him. After so many years of the creature’s companionship he didn’t need to see his dark eyes to understand the disapproval he’d find there.

Sven was strangely emotive for a “normal” creature of the wood, but truth be told, Kristoff had always been fairly certain that he wasn’t normal at all. He could feel magic in him, but it wasn’t fae like his own. That said, he hadn’t ever inquired with his family about the source of the creature’s uncanny understanding or unnatural lifespan because if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want to know. He couldn’t complain about the companionship Sven had offered through the years, he would always be grateful for the additional support he provided, even if he still often asked himself why the creature had given him such a boon.

He continued to brush down the deer’s back, combing away his summer shed, bringing him some comfort as best as he could in the transitional season between hot and cold. He couldn’t deny that it made him feel a bit better as well.

He’d felt incredibly useless since Anna had touched him, since she’d become addicted to him. He felt like he was doing little but sitting by, waiting for the day he’d have to end himself to save her life. He’d been without a true purpose for many years, mostly finding himself in the service of Sven and his family, occasionally aiding others as the mood struck him, but now he felt entirely listless. Anna deserved better. He’d had no purpose and yet he felt like he’d failed it.

“There’s only two ways for this to end… and I know my preference.”

The reindeer snorted then, and Kristoff could all but hear his family’s protests echoed in the creature’s displeasure.

There’s a third option. There’s hope.

Kristoff huffed out a sigh of his own and set the brush in his hand on a nearby shelf, the stable walls serving like something of a chapel to his confessions.

He understood that he was the only one in the situation who wasn’t being optimistic about the chances of a happily ever after. His family, and evidently Sven as well, seemed to believe that it was possible that his curse was soon to end. Even Anna was optimistic, and she didn’t even know about his family’s theory or his plans to kill himself to save her. She was almost certain that she was going to die, but still she smiled.

She was stronger than him.

He closed his eyes, letting his hands drop empty to his sides as he pictured that smile in his head, the soft, encouraging one she gave him when it came time for him to touch her. The one she let him see when they ate together, for her a necessity, for him a small pleasure. The one that she offered each time they spent time together, the one he had started to think meant something more than civility.

He’d kept to his end of the bargain, chaste touches only. He’d clasped her hand in his, laid his forearms against hers with sleeves rolled up, and despite the innocence of these touches, he’d felt her warm under his touch in a way no woman ever had before. He’d felt her melt into him, and he knew that it wasn’t all connected to her addiction to him. There was a slowness to it that the other addicted women had never shown, a sort of deliberateness that was unconscious but said in every untensing of muscle, ever centimeter of movement, that she wanted to be nearer.

Of course, when the touching started, she’d always tentatively initiate, as if she were scared to start, but then slowly she would warm to him. He let her lead, even when his palms itched to run over her arms. He let her lean into him when what he wanted more than anything was to press kisses across her freckled shoulders.

They hadn’t even come close to something so intimate. In fact, he often felt that the intimacy of the way they’d touched through clothes was somehow more profound than skin to skin contact felt now. When it came down to it, when he spent quiet moments in reflection, he knew the reasoning behind the feeling. It was fear. He was terrified that even with her mind clear, the addiction was all that made her want him.

Before, when he wouldn’t touch her, things had been easier. Before, it had been easier to tell himself that the second glances she gave him were unfettered interest and desire.

Kristoff felt the shifting of the animal at his side. Sven had seemed restless since he and Anna had returned from the valley of living rock, or really since the incident at the stream.

“You can’t blame yourself old friend,” he offered, opening his eyes and meeting the creature’s gaze. “You did the best you could to keep her safe.”

The deer snorted as if to say, same to you and I’ll believe it when you do.

***

It had been a week. It felt like years, but it had only been seven days.

Anna plaited her hair to the best of her abilities, her fingers twitchy and tingling as they now sometimes got when her skin was craving Kristoff’s. She grew frustrated when she felt strands that had escaped their proper place, and decided that ultimately, her efforts were not worth the energy.

Where is he?

She noticed that as the days passed, he stayed out later and later each evening. He was always prompt when it came to ensuring she ate her meals, her concerns over faerie food now seeming entirely foolish when faced with her current situation, but he never seemed as interested in fulfilling her other needs.

It was maddening.

The addiction itched on her skin, at the edges of her thoughts, but she had the good fortune to be able to resist it if she wanted to.

The trouble being, of course, she’d never really wanted to resist Kristoff at all. She’d wanted to touch him, even before magic made it so. She’d been so grateful for his kindness, for his support, for his promises to go against his nature that he’d kept until she…

No. It wasn’t anyone’s fault… I have to believe that if I’m going to get Kristoff to believe it too.

She tried to shake off the memory of running into him, of the accident that changed them both. The accident that was to be, quite literally, the death of her.

She thought again of the pull she was feeling, the way that it made her want to settle herself into his lap and feel his arms strong around her.

What a way to go.

It scared her sometimes, how quickly she’d accepted her fate, but there was little else she could do. Of course, it didn’t mean that the nightmares with haunting spectral women didn’t wake her out of a dead sleep, leaving her sweat covered and shivering alone in the loft. No, she still had a healthy dose of fear over what would become of her in the end, of who would tell her sister of her death, of what would happen to everything and everyone she’d ever loved… of what would become of Kristoff.

She bit her lip and slowly ran her fingers up and down her arms. Her hair rose at the contact, pleasant and strange in its own way, but not at all what she craved.

A voice in the back of her head nagged that his delay in returning to her had everything to do with a lack of interest in her. He was, despite his nature, a good man, and as such he would give her what she needed. She couldn’t help but think though, that he didn’t truly want to touch her.

She’d thought, before, that he’d been interested in her. The way he’d looked at her, the way he’d admitted his want of her before has made her think that maybe it wasn’t just about the addiction. Now though, his disinterest in spending time with her had her frustrated.

She wasn’t so vain as to think that he should be interested in her, nor was she lacking in enough self-respect to beg that he be more attentive. No, she merely wished that things between them were simpler, that he they could both speak their minds and feel what they felt without strings attached.

It made her feel a bit embarrassed to think about, but she had not infrequently daydreamed about what life could have been like if Kristoff were just a man. She couldn’t deny the pleasure she derived from thinking about what it would be like to have fallen in love with him slowly, to have the possibility of a future together… to have the possibility of a future at all.

She huffed, shoving away all the thoughts in her head, for better or for worse, and marched outside after him. She wasn’t going to be left alone with her thoughts, nor would she let the pins and needles in her fingers and toes stand when his touch would steal them away.

***

Kristoff wasn’t necessarily surprised when Anna found him walking in the door when she was walking out of it. He had been aware of his delayed return to her, and he did feel bad about making her wait on literal pins and needles for him to stop feeling bad about himself and return to her.

“I seem to remember you saying that you wanted to touch me not all that long ago. Did I lose my appeal that quickly?”

He wasn’t certain as to how he was just now feeling the absolute fire radiating off of her. He supposed it was the depth of his thoughts that had been shielding him from the palpable anger that Anna was exuding.

He opened his mouth and then promptly shut it. He didn’t have anything he could say. She was right, he had said he wanted to touch her. He’d told her in no uncertain terms once that he had wanted to touch her in ways that would be addictive to her, and now that she was addicted he’d let him anxiousness outweigh his desire. Of course, he didn’t really think that anyone could blame him for that… save of course for Anna.

She huffed and turned on her heel, evidently saying all she had to, leaving him standing dumbstruck in the doorway of the cabin home they were somewhat unequally sharing.

It was only when she climbed up to the loft that he realized what he should have said. The truth.

You could never lose your appeal. Not for me Anna.

***

She probably shouldn’t have yelled at him. In fact she really wished that she hadn’t, laying in bed with pins and needles feeling want from both the addiction and her own personal interests in Kristoff.

Had she been a little less frustrated she imagined that she might have been able to discuss her want with him. Afterall he’d never really balked at anything that she initiated thus far, so perhaps she could have just expressed what it was she wanted or started touching him more intimately and he would have followed her lead.

Half the problem was, of course, she didn’t really know what she wanted. She burned for him in a way that was only too literal. She was burning for him, and someday she knew she was going to burn out. She supposed that she just wanted to enjoy everything that could come with the path they’d accidentally put themselves on, even if it meant moving faster than she had been. Even if it meant opening herself up to him fully in every way.

She thought that she was imagining the sound of his footfalls on the floor, imagining the creak of the ladder up to the loft, but when she felt his presence just to the side of the bed she realized that the reason she’d heard him at all was because he wanted her to. Normally he could move so quietly, like any other creature of the wood, that she would never hear him, even in her imagination.

She felt her fingers, traitorous, twitch at her sides under the blankets. Of course, after hours of being general nuisances to her, they would only up the ante as soon as he was nearby. She tried to ignore them, to pretend she was asleep, but she knew that Kristoff knew she was faking it.

“I’m sorry about how late I stay out Anna.”

She let the dead air between them go uninterrupted on her end, feeling uncharitable and cranky. She had never imagined herself resisting the pull between them, but now she couldn’t help but feel some small satisfaction in both her ability to do so, and in how aggravating it probably was to him.

“I still can’t lie to you, you know. Even though you’re addicted, I can’t lie… Of course, you haven’t lost your appeal. How could you ever not be appealing? How could I ever not be interested in you?”

He huffed and she had to settle for imagining how he looked, raking his fingers through his hair in frustration. Much as what he was saying was making her go weak, much as it was making her heart race in her chest, she still could not give him the satisfaction of an accepted apology while she was so aching and exhausted from the lack of his attention.

“I’m afraid. You know I am. Why else would I ever stay away from you when I’ve wanted you since I saw you barefoot and wild eyed in the woods?”

She had to press her eyes shut to keep from looking over at him. She had to focus on the tingling in her limbs to hush the voice in her head that told her she was being silly, even though she knew that it was right. She was being silly. If he had stayed away from her due to his fear, she was keeping away from him now based sheerly out of stubbornness.

“Now, because I know you can hear me, I’m going to, with your permission, show you. I know I should have sooner.”

She felt the bed depress at her side, the very small mattress giving her little warning before the contact that followed shortly thereafter.

She felt his chest press into her back, his arm draping across her waist in a manner still too chaste for her liking, but somehow heart-poundingly new and exciting because he’d initiated it, not her.

“All you have to do to get me to stop is say no or ask me to leave. That’s it Anna. One word from you and I’m gone until you want me.”

She wouldn’t say a single thing, but she did decide to finally allow her hands their autonomy, allowing one to slide up his arm, pressing his hold even tighter.

She felt him soften at the touch, heard the quiet sigh close to her ear. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, which wasn’t nearly so scandalous as the fact that she’d decided to go to sleep without her nightgown.

Her body was practically sighing with the sensation of so much of his skin being in contact with hers, and so she couldn’t bring herself to be embarrassed about it. She truly couldn’t even bring herself to care.

That is a problem for morning Anna.

She gasped, her whole body going hot and pliant as she felt the rough scrape of hair and then the softness of lips upon her shoulder.

Yes, she had decided. Morning Anna could talk about feelings and fears with Kristoff. Night Anna was, however, fully prepared to feel everything Kristoff had to offer.

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Heyo! I was wondering if you could do a scenario during the uprising arc where the reader starts to realize she has feelings for Levi but at first he rejects her? Then during the night before Shiganshina he realizes about her feelings and ends up returning them knowing he doesn't want her to get hurt or die? Some angst fluff please and thank you!

Okay anon you have no idea how much I enjoyed writing this. It's super long and I love how it came to me so naturally. I hope you enjoy

Warnings: a little angst!?

Tags: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

Promise

It all started at the sight of his wet fingertips grazing the broken rim of a teacup. A flutter, a feisty spark in your heart that seemed to drown it in full might had made its presence known to you in a very particular, unwanted moment. The flicker of a tiny flame danced before your eyes, sat at the frame of the window near the sink where you proceeded to rinse through washed dishes.

Levi's pale, chapped skin pulled on his knuckles leaving an unnatural yellowish white tone behind, indicating his involvement with excessive amounts of cleaning products. And for the first time, the sight really pulled a string in your poor heart in a way that was enough to convince you to break the dense silence in the room.

But maybe, you thought, Levi wouldn't want to talk to you.

With an unforgiving steel gaze he stared at your face, blinking in soft, yet erratical paces as you stopped plumping the water from running. In response your tongue was forced to slip inside your mouth and push any unspoken word back to its source, in the depths of your brain. All of a sudden you felt so afraid to talk, so petrified by the general idea of a three syllabus word that wouldn't ever spare the misery off of anyone.

Rejection

Captain seemed to be on the rejective side nevertheless so nothing regarding your newly discovered feelings would matter to him anyway, so in a way you blamed yourself for getting overwhelmed with this whole situation. A dark cloud of doubt shadowed your mind with the intention of interrogating your heart's intentions; perhaps you were mistaken. How on earth could you have been in love with the short man, you didn't know. There were far too many differences between the two of you, be it in appearance, mannerism or even -and more importantly- experiences. Supposing you had lived through similar occurances in battles outside the walls was enough for anyone to consider the two of you to be very alike, it was at least dishonorable to compare your childhood or teenage years to his.

"Nice hands" Of course you had managed to utter the most embarrassing choice of words to him, your mind could never cooperate with you when it came to such serious situations, something you hated so very much. The obnoxious dryness of your eyes was slowly migrating in the caves under your tongue, you could feel your mouth drying more and more by each passing second, yet you did nothing to prevent it.

Judging by Levi's puzzled expression which included his head slightly tilting forward as if to hear you better you knew he was as awestruck as you were at your own words. "I don't really understand where you're coming from but thank you, I guess." He spoke, the usual monotone tint staining his voice. You whipped your head back to a fixed position -on your hands this time- to stare down at the sink. The awkward glances you would throw at him went seemingly unnoticed and as time passed by you felt your tention overwhelming you, this time, completely.

Levi wasn't dense to any body language thrown at him and you were painfully aware. His cold eyes never spared you not even a half cornered look as he rubbed the little sponge on the soap bar next to him. His fingers danced on the ceramic plate, cleansing it in fast and very effective movements, leaving you staring in awe. Whether he was ignoring you on purpose or not you didn't know and you didn't want to seek an answer as to why but at this rate he would probably be the one to inquire why you were burning holes in his hands with your gaze. Again.

"I'm so sorry I'm fixated on your hands" Your mouth run, ignoring your mind's orders to stay shut "It's just-" Dammit think quick for once "You have nice nail beds."

There it was. The evidence that your words had actual brains and that they formed the most improper sentences on their own, just to torture you and push you deeper into piles of goowey, mushy shit. If Levi was anyone else he would have been laughing his ass of at the stupidness of your speech, you knew you would be laughing too if this wasn't as serious. Just as you were sure you heard a chuckle Levi placed the sponge on the bar of soap carefully and extended his arm, fully displaying his hand.

He seemed to study it like it was the first time he had ever even noticed it. The slick, long fingers, the oval shaped nails, his torn open knuckles. Perhaps you were kidding him for the lack of hair on the base of fingers he used to hold his blades with, those were burnt with years of being worn out by the steel triggers of the blades. He speculated this was common among most soldiers, so it didn't seem like a reason to be kidded for and in addition you never were the person to just spit senseless insults as jokes to your comrades.

"Is there even a point to talk about my hands? They're normal hands to me."

You bit your lip as your eyes widened in shock. Realisation hit you that this was probably more that absurd to Levi as it was to you, seeing you had started to talk about his hands out of nowhere. Your mind, in a state of panic, was in the midst of attempting to process every idiotic sentence you had the audacity to blurb out, but it never seemed to find an answer. Boiling with embarrassed, you wiped the water of your hands to your pants, an act that caught Levi's eye, and went to grab the first wooden chair that was in your path. You needed to sit down, to process whatever this was.

Yet, the only explanation you could find was that there was a raging wildfire in the pits of your stomach everytime your thoughts wandered on Levi. Yes, it was possible that what had started as an admiration, a tiny spec of a crush for the slender featured man had been growing on you since forever, but you had always burried it deep, in any hellhole that should accommodate such emotions as this was war and not the plot of sappy romance novel.

The air was cut down short in the room when Levi sat at a chair beside you, watching you over in such demanding manner that only he could master. He proceeded to light the only candle that stood at the middle of the table, possibly in hopes of flaring a conversation or causing a sane sequence of sentences to finally fall from your tongue. It was still unbeknownst to him what had caused you to trip over words as if you were a learning toddler and he yearned to find out, as a sole friend, not as the stern corporal he presented himself to be.

"(y/n)" His voice was tender as he spoke either much mindful to the teens who were sleeping in the next room or unwilling to let a private conversation between the two of you be heard. "If you think I can help with whatever is going on quit acting like a brat and tell me what's on your mind."

Momentarily, you wondered whether he'd stick to his words in case you spilled your heart's infatuating agony but you felt unable to think of a possible dominating scenario in the chaos of your mind. As self destructive as it sounded, you'd prefer to be the one to break your own heart rather than having to stand back and be a martyr to him tearing it off your chest and tearing it. Knowing Levi, this wasn't anything physically impossible, but you doubt that he could ever be as harsh with you.

"I'm just stressed. I have a lot on my mind."

"Erwin's trial and the future of the scouts, huh? Or is it that Hange works your ass off with those experiments?" You scoffed in denial to all of his inquiries, knowing full well that you could have used them as excuses. Levi's sharp hand began a short trip with sole purpose to land at the top of your head, through your loose locks, in an affectionate manner, a little something you had picked up he would do when he really cared for someone. Everyone knew he wasn't particularly touchy, except for some emotional moments with his closest people; a hand on a shoulder and a pat in the head were mostly what you had witnessed him indulging. His hand ruffling with your hair wasn't profound and new at all, he had done so many times after the two of you would strongly disagree over formations and orders, showing you how much he appreciated your strong wits and your clever ideas. What was new was that the lone touch burned your sculp like hot iron and made your insides twitch.

"I'll make us some tea" the screeching creak of the chair being pushed back shook of your train of thoughts enough to form a reaction to his hand that still rested on your head. Almost as if he didn't want to take it off "We can discuss your problem in a-"

"Sit down" you demanded, voice stern, masked with seriousness that caught him off guard. "Take your hand off my hair, it hurts." You pleaded with your eyes to stay as dry as they were before but you were certainly unsure of whether they'd listen. "Can't you see?"

What was there not to see really. Levi probably knew of your fondness of him way before you managed to realise, as in second thought every move you had ever made in his presence betrayed you. He would have never tried to provoke a confession just to laugh at you, that you were sure of, but he had never made a move in reciprocation either, that alone made you sure of your confessions future's end and caused your gut to spit even more fire to the rest of your insides.

Levi was not perplexed, not even for a single moment, at your words that seeked to stab like daggers, he wouldn't allow himself to be toyed by his own emotions just this once. This is an erratical reaction to his touch, a rejection of his affections towards you and he feared he knew the reason. For someone as bright and emotional as you he never would have thought that you could have hid such tormentous emotions so well inside you, only to end up at this moment of snapping.

As much as he'd like not to be hurt in the slightest by your demeanor he couldn't help but feel a tiny string of his heart being pulled. Suddenly it was evident to him why you couldn't take part in normal conversations around him or why you acted so tense in his presence, why you were so rejective of his touches and he wondered if he should have done anything besides unknownably torture you for so long. Whether his heart wanted to hear a confirmation out of your mouth to it's pained pleading for reciprocation, his mind ignored. The time would never be right and as egoistical as it seemed he couldn't bear to lose someone else that close to him, let alone a significant other. From his experience feelings of love and adoration should never be spoken out loud in this cruel world, amongst soldiers, especially. It wouldn't lead to any good.

When you proceeded to speak the pit in his stomach was already welling in frustration and denial. "Levi we've known each other for years and whatever's forcing me to much on my words should stop."

None can do, this couldn't happen here, now, while being on the run by military police as collective criminal. Levi wouldn't allow you to speak those earth shuttering words, even if wanted for them to chaste kiss his ears and echo through his head. "Not like you haven't figured anyways. I'm so pathetic. To fall for my Capt-"

"Don't you dare utter any other word of that sentence. I won't forgive you if you do." His hand reached out to grab yours by the wrist, tightly, as if he didn't know you couldn't stand the intensity of the grip. The silence that towed over the room was freezing, irrational even; it made you want to puke your intestines right onto Levi's shoes. Your heartbeat was so fast, so unrhythmic that you felt like the vital blood red organ would burst out of your chest in a massive mess.

Τhere was an excessive amount of agony emitting from your eyes, slicing through Levi's chest, searching despairately for a sign he had a heart, just to remind you that it didn't belong to you. Your mind traveled through every possible scenario to find a reason as to why you had to endure this, did his affections belong to someone you didn't know of? Hange? Erwin? Nifa seemed to be close to him lately as well. Was he heartbroken before and swore to never love again? You hated that there was not a tiny little space in his heart for you.

Just as this tense moment began, it came to an end when Sasha burst into the room, shotgun on her shoulder and chestnut eyes as sleepy as they could be. Fatigue was overpowering her whole form and it was as evident as ever before your eyes. With a quick, exhausted salute she announced her self, unsure of if you and the captain could see her face under the shadows of the night.

"It's guard change sir!" She spoke.

"I'm coming sweetheart." You got up from the chair you were sat at, breaking your wrist away from Levi's grip in a harsh manner. You didn't spare him a second look as you took another deep breath and locked it in your chest in hopes of seeming a little more mighty. "Go take some rest. You deserve it."

With increasingly fast steps you storm outside the little cottage trying your best not to look back. You wouldn't bear to check if there was still light coming from the kitchen that should indicate Levi's persistent presence. Your knees trembled at the imagery but you wouldn't let your eyes rest behind you not even for a second. He would probably be drinking his tea, unbothered, thinking of anything but you and you would be lying if you were to day that it didn't hurt you. It hurt so much that it sent you on your ass, on the stone tile pattern under your feet. Your heart forced suffocating waves of pain through your whole body only to push out of your eyes in the form of hot, salty tears. As your sobs grew louder and your heartache became unbearable to the point you though you could feel your heart break in two, you pushed the ends of your palms into your eyes sockets to squeeze the pain and itchiness of the tears away. You promised to yourself this was the first and last time you would cry for him.

____

After that night you barely speak with Levi. Aside from following his orders with the eventual 'yessir' as a reply, you have managed to successfully establish a thick barrier between him end you. Your nights of accompanying him in his late hour tea sessions, or teaching him how to knit and embroider were no more. The times you would share your food with him after you'd hear his stomach growl from the small portion he would get were also no more. You had made sure to claim your small acts of affection back to yourself, how could you move on from him if you were trying to be nice.

You would profoundly ignore his gazes, his calls for you at his office at late hours of the night by random cadets. You wouldn't answer to him if it wasn't for something military related and you intended it to keep it that way until the announcements of the feast that would take place before the attempt of retaking wall Maria.

As you passed by a narrow street heading to anywhere away from the crowd of cadets with your drink in your hand, you bumped lousy into the onyx haired male. It was the first time in days or even weeks that you had spared him a glance but your eyes averted his upon impact. You couldn't stand this. It was suffocating you. The clicking of your ankle boots colliding with the ground might have been heard as you turned on your heels to flee the scene but Levi's stern clearing of the throat overshadowed it.

He wasn't having it anymore.

"Oi, wait! Stop on your tracks, this is an order!" He spoke, eliciting a groan out of you as you turned to face him. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Captain, I seek to relax before a very hard mission, spare me with your punishments, I beg of you."

His blood boiled with your every word "Cut the damn crap (y/n) and talk to me like normal." It probably sounded more harsh than he intended but he couldn't find himself in a position to turn back time and rephrase those words. The drained look in your eyes tolled him as well. The fact that you were both so tired by this game of cat and mouse was profound and everywhere in the air around you and Levi didn't know if he could take it anymore.

At first he thought that it was for the best. If you both forgot about your feelings or found ways to distract yourselves by this distance then it would be so much easier for him to push through the upcoming events of Shiganshina, but he was surprised to know he was mistaken. Masking his feelings must have seemed easy when it came to grieve and loss; he'd spent hours in his room, with you, letting everything out and occupying himself with trying to improve his handwriting while doing paperwork, but infatuation, love, was different. Instead of fading by each passing day like anger and grief it only ever became stronger, fonder and more agressive, chewing on his insides in despair. He really did hate that he had allowed himself to feel that way but it was way too late by now. There was nothing he could do and the fact that you ignored him after almost squeezing out that much, much wanted confession was only making him feel more hollow and in pain.

But Levi knew how to control himself, he trusted his ability on that.

"What is there to talk about? Let me live my last day in peace." You barked, your eyes starting to dance towards his direction, landing on his chin, then at the curve of his unfairly full bottom lip, on his button upwards nose.

"Look." He paused, unsure of how to put his words into non hurtful sentences. "If you could just tell me why or share a few words with me. We could damn die tomorrow and I'd regret not ever talking you out of this unfair treatment you're giving me."

You wondered if you should open up your heart to him completely, without accepting any interruption from him just to cleanse your coincidence off of this weight. Upon deciding that there was truly nothing holding you back except for a silly fear of another rejection that could die with you tomorrow you opened your mouth to speak any words that came to your mind.

"Levi, I'm in pain. You rejected me. Plain and simple. I've spent so many nights wondering why I am unworthy of your affections but I can't wrap my head around you anymore."

"Is that the way you feel about me? That you're the one who's unworthy of me?"

"You always think so lowly of yourself. Makes me wonder how you trust your own abilities in battlefield. But yes. So I just want to know who is it for you? Who do you feel you're unworthy of?"

He paused for a moment, to regain any shattered piece of his heart you had thrown back to him with your statement. You didn't hate him, be always knew that, but hearing those words fall out of your mouth engulfed the matter into reality unlike before. He was ready to face it. Even if he was unsure of tomorrow he knew that if he was to stay alive while you were dead he would have torn his own brain out as to avoid overthinking this particular moment.

"You want the truth honestly, brat? I happen to think I'm the one unworthy of you. You've taught me how to write and read, you came into my office to check up on an underground scum like me to see if I was asleep. Dammit you even gave me portions of your food to help me withstand the long nights of sleeping in my chair. What have I done for you? Boss you around? Or is it my looks you're after?"

Your eyes widened at his last statement, momentarily preventing the tears that had gathered in the corners from falling. This wasn't a time to misunderstand his words and act foolish, this was the closest out of a confession you would get from the man and you were awestruck, amazed. If he wanted to know a reason you would give him one.

"I'll admit, you might have the face of an angel Levi and maybe that would initial draw anyone to you, including me but I didn't fall in love with you for that." You could tell he was taken aback by the raw nature of your words only by the small whimper that escaped his throat.

"Over the course of this relationship between us you have been there for me when I couldn't be there for myself, you've helped me improve, your hands are stained with blood and so are mine, but you've knitted with me, you've stitched my wounds, you've let me sleep in your bed when I found a giant cockroach in mine, you're so much more than what you paint yourself to be."

He stared at you with ogling, soft eyes. Had he looked at you like that before you were oblivious but there was something in those steel eyes that magnetised your own gaze, something you couldn't let go off. It was calming the knot in your chest with reassurance, bearing promises of the future but he didn't dare speak on them to ruin the moment. His head closed the distance between the two of you in sharp shiftings and now your lips were brushing his in the most suggestive manner possible. It had all happened so fast that you didn't have a chance to react.

"You realised" he whispered, voice soft as the melancholy of the theme of his words captured your breath "that if you happen to die tomorrow, I, myself will hunt you down, resecure you and then proceed to beat the living shit out of you every single day of your shitty life, right?"

He was so beautiful panting with desire under the moonlight and you would never forget. Out of all times this could have taken place it happened now, hours before a deadly expedition. The feeling of regret flooded your form, his as well for not acting upon your feelings sooner and Levi fought an internal battle as to whether he should kiss you or not. He desired to keep that kiss as a reward that you stayed alive for him but on the other hand he feared that this could well be his last chance to taste you for the first time.

"That's a weird way to say I love you" as his lips brushed closer to yours his heart felt like it would explode, he had pained to claim your lips, just once, just to know the taste of a beloved and he was sure he would be more pained to lose you.

As he pleaded that you came to him tomorrow he pressed his lips on yours, sealing the promise he demanded you to make to him. Your heart melted under the soft lights of a thousand stars.

____

As his arms wrapped around you, tears run down his eyes. That was it. You had fought to keep your promise nail and tooth. You had never managed let him down and to see that you were among the tiny amount of survivors lifted his soul to heaven. The touch of your skin, the salty taste of your neck, it all was real, you were indeed alive and safe in his arms. He wouldn't have to go insane over that fact that he would never get to look into your eyes again.

"I will always keep my promises to you." You hitched with tears running down cheeks, the shock in your core still trembling as ever.

"I know" He panted

"Besides, have you seen yourself in action, I wouldn't want you to hunt me down, oh Lord."

I am. In tears. Also I'm sorry (?) for such in depth descriptions of Levi's hands?

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Thursday 30 April 1835

6 ½

11

no kiss rainy morning (from about 7 ¾ am) F45° at 7 55 am - in 25 minutes till 8 20 wrote the last 29 lines of yesterday - then with Charles and James H- in the laundry began this morning cupboarding off the end - breakfast at 8 50 and sat reading downstairs till 11 - then out a little while again in the laundry - then sat in the blue room reading till 1 ¾ - finished the article (very favourable) on Hope’s history of architecture and the favourable review of Michand’s travels in the east and the long but very interesting article (not always agreeing with the author but giving him much praise) on Lyell’s 3rd volume of Geology 8vo and 4 volumes 12mo same work published this year - skimmed over the article (damnatory) on the new biographical work called ‘Georgian Aera’ and a few pages on the Poor law amendment bill (in its favour) - i.e. read from p. 356 to 457 and from p. 473 to 489 Quarterly review no. 106 published this month -  then made the following extract from my letter to M- began on Tuesday and finished yesterday - kind letter - beg she will apologize for pressing her letters so closely upon me - always delighted to hear from her - much obliged for her inquires about the horse - but dare not venture on a mare - besides after much consideration have determined to have 2 more ponies - want them from ‘13 to 14 hands or rather more but will have nothing over 15’ - wish M- had such a pony as Flint to dispose of - Hope M- will not give up riding - can give no opinion about the Droitwich alkali company - ‘I never heard of the concern before and therefore know nothing of it but the little you tell me - but knowing Dr Jephson so well as I conclude you do know him, I take it for granted that your confidence in his judgment and wish to serve you, is not at all greater than deserved - if the shares are bought in Percy’s name, he (Dr J-) will, of course, help you to guard against any unpleasantness in the event of the poor child’s disease - it is true, you told me of having forgotten to inquire after her some time back, and Adney reminded me on the subject when last in York - I own that my memory wanted less spurring 3 years ago - till then, my interest, wrapt upon in yours, had had no letter or hindrance - I was the 1st who suggested the plan of your taking the child - from that time to 3 years ago,  I was not much in England - but my thoughts during that period had not been idle towards you or anyone who nearly concerned you, and not feeling indifferent, I was not aware of having appeared so by any omission whatever in our epistolary correspondence - I am really sorry that any seeming change should have crept over me; for my heartfelt in you and all about you is, I am persuaded greater than you believe - but as reflected is weaker than direct light, so regard which passes thro’, any intervening person, is often impeded by accidents which have little or no effect upon that regard which flows to us directly from the parent source - Mary! I do not forget you - but, engrossed as my mind is, at present, perhaps it is not unnatural that it should be less tenacious of some subjects than it used to be 3 years ago’ - then date yesterday and say should have despatched my letter yesterday but waited for a £100 bank of E. note and the day was too rainy to stir our - mention my thought of turning Northgate into an hotel - added under the seal dated today - ‘I am very sorry my letter did not get off yesterday - I had so many people on business, and was so interrupted, I could not be ready in time - I hope you will have the money in time - wrote at the top of page 1 - ‘I enclose you a bank of England post bill, value £100 no. 695, dated London 19 March 1835. I have specially endorsed it that, on paying the bill, you must write your name undermine’ - had just folded my letter when my tenant  Wilson (of W-‘s fields near Roydelands) came to take Mytholm holm - mentioned Mr Bateman’s ponies - chestnut - not broken in - ill kept last winter - aetatis 4 and 5 - bred by Mr B- had refused £28 for the 2 at a fair some time back - had £20 offered for the older but would not part them - Wilson had offered £26 for me - if he had a place to put them in - offered to buy them for me at this price -  said I would see them and speak to me Mr B- and if I liked the animals and could not buy them for £30 might let W- know and be obliged to him to make the purchase for me - A- very anxious to see her aunt today - off at 3 50 and walked with her to Cliff hill - found Mrs Carter there - sat 1 10 hour - then a few minutes at Crownest - saw SW- he and Mawson seemed to have come to a settlement with Henry Pearson and he has signed a paper appointing Lister the appraiser and another valuer and promising to give up the house tomorrow or forfeit £20 - told SW I suspected there would be some queer work about licencing Northgate house (on Mr Rawson’s account) mentioned what had passed between Mr Parker and Mitchell about the lower George and told W- to think the matter over and get me some small low priced public house if possible without anybodies’ knowing anything about it  - A- and I home at 6 55 - dinner at 7 10 - about ½ hour with my father and Marian - coffee - wrote the last 13 lines till 8 35 - had just before dinner sent off my latter 3 pages and ends and under the seal and a line at the top of page 1 and containing the £100 bill (vid. line 3 from the bottom of the last page) to ‘Mrs Lawton Claremont house Leamington Warwickshire’ - then read a few pages in Quarterly  of this month and sat on the sofa ½ asleep by A- 25 minutes with my aunt till 10 5 at which hour F45 ¼° - Very rainy day  till between 3 and 4 pm afterwards rain but only small rain that A- and I were not wet - highish wind all the day - rainy night Quadrant-arch at the dry bridge finished today

[roseabelle21]

Sypnosis: It had been over five years since your last encounter with a certain explosive blond. Ever since then, you're happy. You felt complete, fulfilled, and contented. Going on that date with Inasa was the best decision you have ever made in your entire life, he went from being your fanboy to your future husband. Quite a story to tell if I do say so myself. Life is good. Though someone says otherwise.

Read before you proceed: That Your Love Is Gone.

Status: Edited

Tagging: @jazzylove

He stared at the white envelope before him, unfeeling. He didn't know how long he's been staring at it, maybe when he opened the mail and placed it down his table? That was well over an hour ago. 

Katsuki just stared at the envelope, like it's going to explode the moment he opened it. The paper won't, but his heart just might. 

Wait, is it still beating? He thought it stopped the moment he saw you two locked lips once in the coffee shop. Boy, did that sight hurt like a bitch, yet he pretended that he saw nothing and held on his mug in a bone-crushing grip. Kirishima and Denki had pointed it out to him discreetly before it exploded. He stomped out of the shop before you noticed that he was there. 

The two of you had avoided each other ever since that disaster of a confession. The only communication both of you ever had was on joint missions together, and you won't even speak to the other unless necessary.

He wanted to talk to you again, but his pride and humiliation won't let him.

Selfishly, he prayed that the date with Inasa didn't go well, still hoping that he still had the chance to be with you. Or when he found out that you two are finally official, things between you won't work out in the end and go your separate ways.

That didn't happen much, to his dismay. The wedding invitation on his table said otherwise. 

Katsuki knows it's wrong, waiting patiently for the day that your relationship with the whirlwind user to fuck up, and he'll be there to sweep you away from him, and maybe knock teeth or two out. 

He scoffed at his thoughts. All of this was his fault. He knows it, knowing full well that he can't do anything to change the past. He even tried dating other people to get over you, alas the hunt remains fruitless. He can't look at another girl, much less be with them without thinking of you. 

After all these years, he still loves you. 

Pathetic. 

His silent tears hit the cold floor. He didn't even bother wiping them away. His ruby eyes continued to burn holes at the letter before him. Heart pounding in his ears, he felt like he couldn't breathe, his heart aching, mind empty, wishing that he'd wake up soon and end this nightmare. Maybe even wake up with you by his side. 

No matter how hard he tried to stop, his wishful thinking is always there. Even he knows that it's not healthy thinking that way about someone for so long. It's been five years, for Christ's sake! His heart needs to let you go. 

But how could it? Every time he sees you, it feels like there is a fucking zoo rampaging on his stomach, every time you smile or laugh, it puts the sun to shame because of how bright and warm it is. He wished that he was still the one causing those. 

Before then, he didn't need to do much to make you happy. Him being himself was all he needed to be; his sarcastic remarks and angry faces were a few of the things that put a smile on your face. 

He likes being the source of your happiness until he wasn't.

Katsuki swallowed the lump on his throat, taking a deep breath before wiping his eyes. He waited for a bit of a steady, racing heart and mind before gently picking up the envelope, careful not to make even the slightest of crumple. 

He could have burned his hand honestly, that's how bad it hurts. Maybe it's just his imagination, but he can smell the tiniest bit of your favourite flowers. Katsuki held the paper to his nose a gave it a smell; it has a scent. 

He smirked, imagining you insisting that the paper is scented since it is a special occasion, the amount of scented paper you used for your friends at every holiday and birthday to make your cards.

Katsuki then opened it, making sure to be extra gentle when tearing it up. He stared at it again, that open flap with the letter inside. It's there, his worst nightmare. 

With a heavy heart, he took it out and admired its designing and details: the swirls and flowers embroidered on the sides, the fancy calligraphy in your names, the neat print below with the details of the wedding, and the picture of you and your fiancee. 

His heart clenched seeing it, yet at the same time, he felt a small glimmer of happiness that came along with it. 

Your smile, it was so beautiful, so genuine, so happy. 

Tears made its way down his cheeks again, and despite that, he grinned. 

He's happy that you found someone that can treat you better than he can. And even if he's no longer the one making you happy, he can't do anything to stop that. 

He read the invitation; although it pained him to continue reading it, he was happy that he even got an invite. Despite not talking much this past few years, he's satisfied that he still got invited. 

Katsuki placed the paperback in the envelope and placed it down. He's happy for you, he is, and then, he's hit with an epiphany.

Pulling out his phone, he took a deep breath and searched his contacts, then he messaged them. 

To (Y/N): Can we talk?

It's oddly peaceful. 

Katsuki has attended a few weddings in his life, and from what he's experienced, all of they tend to be chaotic in one way or another. 

It's either one of the family members is late, missing a tux or a dress, god forbid the annoying children running around without a care in the world whilst their mothers frantically chase them around. Now, he's not seeing any of them. 

Quite the opposite. Everyone seems to be on time, have everything they need, and surprisingly, the children are cooperating. It's almost scary, almost unnatural. And it's freaking him out. 

Maybe the Maid of Honor has something to do with it. She's snapping at everyone who so much makes a noise or goes out of line. Running back and forth when someone calls her for help, checking everyone's process every ten minutes. Making sure everyone is right on schedule. 

Katsuki can't help but feel bad for her, dealing with so much pressure in one body can be tiring. Alas, there's nothing he can do about it. Although he finds her quite cute when angry, he knows nothing about her other than she's (Y/N)'s cousin. 

The rest of the Bakusquad are chilling on a bench near the pool. Everyone already had their hair, make-up, and dressed done. Mina is talking with Jirou and Yaoyorozu, planning on their girls day with the newlywed woman soon. Kirishima and Sero are talking about their latest missions, and last but not least, Kaminari staring at the Maid of Honor with a bit of drool on the corner of his mouth. 

"You look like an idiot dunce face," Kaminari jumped at Katsuki's voice," she might think you're a weirdo more than you already are if you keep staring at her like that."

"Oh shit, you're right." The blond immediately wiped his mouth and straightened his tux, fixing his hair and clearing his throat. 

"Sorry, she's charming, though. Like an angry chihuahua." Jirou slapped the arm of the blond with a scowl on her face.

"Don't say that! You don't even know her." Everyone can tell her questioning look.

"You talk as if you know her Jirou," Sero inquired. The girl shrugged as she twirled her ear with a finger. 

“We work to the same radio studio. She's the one who does the cover songs and news most of the time."

"No way! She's DJ Fox?!" Kirishima and Kaminari shrieked, fanboying.

"Man, that is so cool! You gotta introduce us!"

"No," Jirou replied immediately. 

Before anyone could react, the girl of the subject yelled at her mage phone. Telling everyone to proceed to the church and get in line as planned. 

Katsuki stood up and glanced around, hoping to catch a glimpse of you in the crowd. The door of your room opened, and his heart leapt at the throat, imagining how beautiful you would look in your wedding dress. That fuzzy feeling soon turned into a mix of rage and disappointment as the once again Maid of Honor rushed to your door and yelled at you for being impatient. 

Everyone made it to the church in no time. The groom and his best man were shoving each other playfully to ease his nerves. Katsuki immediately glanced away from them, remembering his talk with you a few months ago. 

Not long after they were in place, the music started playing. One by one, everyone walked down the aisle, his partner looking at him anxiously, but he couldn't care less. His mind wandered.

There you are, sitting at the corner of the cafe, looking outside with a mug of steaming hot coffee in front of you with a pastry beside it. Another pair of coffee and pastry beside it, which he assumes as his since it was his favourite.

Slowly, he and his partner stopped for a short while for the photographer before proceeding on their walking. 

Small talks and laughs were made, the atmosphere between the two of you more at ease, unlike before. As happy as he looks, his heart can't help but shatter every time your ring glows in the sunlight. 

The rest of the guests followed; not long after, the door shuts, and everyone stands up in their seats. The familiar music filled the air.

He apologized. Apologized again and again, and you could only give him your soft eyes and smile. Not pitying him one bit, only looking at him with fondness in your eyes as you took his hands between yours. 

Inasa was crying as soon as the door opened, the light momentarily blinding your features, but when it faded, Katsuki can also feel his eyes tearing up. 

"I should have told you what you meant to me," he says, voice breaking up.

Cause now I paid the price. 

Words can't describe how beautiful you look walking down the aisle in the arm of your parents. A wide smile is plastered permanently on your face as you look at the man in front of you. All the love is visible in both of your eyes as you look at your significant other like they are the only person in the room.

You reached the front of the altar, your parents kissing you on both cheeks before hugging you and your crying groom. 

Katsuki's heart warmed at the sight of you laughing softly at Inasa, placing your hands on his face as you wiped his tears with your thumbs. The said man is grinning at you despite the tears that continue to flow down his cheeks. 

Katsuki didn't realize that his tears escaped his eyes. Had it Kirishima not point it out. He quickly wiped them away and stood up straight. The faux redhead is gently patting the blond at his back and offering him a sympathetic smile. 

As Katsuki continued to observe the both of you, and he couldn't help but smile at the pure, childlike happiness on your faces. He can feel his heart slowly letting go. Letting go of his jealously, the bitterness, and the anger he has left for himself. 

Though the only thing he can never let go of is his love for you. It might not be the same love he has with you before, but he is and will always love you till the end of time. He loves you enough to let you go.

Maybe in another life, he can make your stay. He never planned that one day, he'd be losing you. Now here he is, watching you get married to the love of your life. 

He never imagined this, not without him there with you, but he certainly isn't regretting it.