overheard-at-hogwarts - Tumblr blog

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Lee: It's nice of your mum to let me stay here. Fred: Nah... George: She just likes us hanging out with you because she thinks it'll keep us out of jail.

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Ginny: [to Luna] It's hard to maintain a reputation for being cool and mysterious when I'm accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at my side, holding my hand, and smiling sweetly on one and all...

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Lily: *stops kissing James* What do you think you're doing?

James: What do you mean?

Lily: I mean, your hands!

James: ...They're on your waist!

Lily: I know! What am I, a nun? Put them somewhere useful.

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Harry: [to Ron] I'm not very exciting, I'm sorry. It's just that I'm from Little Whinging and I didn't know I was a wizard. The wildest thing I ever did was...leave Little Whinging when I found out I was a wizard.

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Rita: Certain personalities are attracted to certain professions.

Dumbledore: Do you know what professions psychopaths disproportionately gravitate to?

Rita: Alchemists, Unspeakables, the staff of Hogwarts...

Dumbledore: Number five on the list is Healers.

Rita: I know the list.

Moody: Well then, you know what number six is.

Rita: Journalists. Know what number seven is, Mad-Eye?

Moody: ...Law enforcement.

Rita: Here we are, a bunch of psychopaths helping each other out.

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McGonagall: I won't say Lockhart has a "strained" relationship with the truth... He don't know the bitch. He's never met her.

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Sirius: You set me up!

Peter: That's a lie!

Voldemort: No, we set him up.

Peter: ...Oh, yeah.

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Snape: The kids get worse and worse every year, but people keep making them.

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Harry: This is tied for the most terrifying day of my life.

Ron: Tied with what?

Harry: Every other freaking day of my life!

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[after returning her Time-Turner]

Hermione: There are not enough hours in the day for me to adequately express my angst at how there are not enough hours in the day.

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Newt: [petting a Graphorn]

Jacob: Uh... Whatcha got there?

Newt: *holds up a cup with a bendy straw* A smoothie.

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Sirius: [to the Marauders] What can I say, I like making memories! Sometimes I do crazy shit around you guys just so you can tell other people I did it.

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Draco: So, I've been thinking.

Harry: Yeah?

Draco: You really need to go out with me.

Harry: I'm sorry?

Draco: You know... You, me. Madam Puddifoot's. Together. Maybe it's a new concept for you? If so, I'll be happy to walk you through it.

Harry: You want to take me to Madam Puddifoot's?

Draco: Well, not really. What I really want is for you to be my boyfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off.

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[when it's proven that Voldemort has indeed returned]

Dumbledore: Cornelius, I hereby rescind the tendering of my resignation.

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Percy: What are you doing?!

George: Burning these awful dress robes.

Percy: Those are mine! I wanted those back!

Fred: Well, frankly, you should have thought of that before we burned them.

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Umbridge: [to Fudge] No! I can't be locked in a room with children! I'm not a people person! I'm barely a person!

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Peter: ...Are you laughing because you're thinking of something funny from earlier?

Voldemort: No! I'm laughing maniacally!