#source: tumblr i think

[the-herdier]

Death, peeking under a blanket: "Dream? Are you ready to come out and interact with other people?"

Dream: [demonic screeching]

Death: "Understandable. Have a nice day."

[incorrect-turn]

Abe: I made tea.

Townsend: I don’t want tea.

Abe: I didn’t make you tea. This is my tea.

Townsend: Then why did you tell me?

Abe: It’s a conversation starter.

Townsend: It’s a horrible conversation starter.

Abe: Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Checkmate.

[blue-rose-soul]

Alastor: Daddy issues? HAH! Just traumatize your father back!

Angel Dust: And by 'traumatize' you mean 'stab the shit out of,' right?

Alastor: But of course!

Angel Dust: ...

Angel Dust: [Contemplative look.]

Vaggie: ...Are you actually considering it!?

Angel Dust: It's a valid option, okay!?

Vaggie: WE DON'T MURDER PEOPLE!

Angel Dust: OH COME ON! MY POPS IS IN THE MOB, THAT'S GOTTA BE A FREE PASS OR SOMETHING RIGHT!?

[ahopelessblogaboutdinosaurtrain]

Buddy, after hunting: Mom, I'm home!

[he's just covered in blood]

[doththymayo]

Racetrack: You seem like the type of person to spell croissant right on the first try.

Spot: Mmm.

***Later***

Spot, to Hotshot: Was that a compliment?

Spot: Quason...

Spot: What is a Quason?

[bespectacled-bookwyrm]

Colress: *half asleep* What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Grimsley: *also half asleep* That'd suck 'cause you can't microwave metal.

Rosa and Nate: Good morning to everyone except our dads.

[strangerthingsquotes]

Eddie [walking into Steve's house, holding a python]: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?

Steve: You did WHAT?!

Robin: William Snakepeare

[persona5butitsincorrect]

Joker, trying to clear a palace in one day: Go big or go home!

Oracle reading everyone's stats: I am begging you, Joker. For once in your life, go home. Please. Just this once. Lets go home.

Joker, whispering: I'm going big.

[incorrectpepperann]

Kidnapper, over the phone: I have your girlfriend.

Pepper Ann: Nicky Little?

Kidnapper: Yes.

Pepper Ann: Oh.

Kidnapper: Oh???

Pepper Ann: You don't have Nicky. Nicky has you.

Kidnapper:

Pepper Ann: Good luck. *hangs up*

[incorrecteizouken]

Mizusaki: Thanks for dinner.

Asakusa: I thought you paid.

Mizusaki:

Mizusaki: I guess we won't be going back there again.

[yoshiandyuriwithbecky]

Becky: So, what is Yoshi's type?

Yuri: Blonde hair, blue eyes, charming smile, really smart but kind of oblivious, athletic, corny sense of humor, green sweater lover.

Becky: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we're just friends.

Yuri: Did I mention oblivious?

Becky: Yes, why?

Yuri: Okay, just making sure.

[paintedcrows]

"Bill... Can I call you that?" / "You can call me whatever you want except 'My Love'!"

"Ha ha! That's a joke! Everybody loves me!"

Y yo a ti Ford, or whatever. @fearoftriangles pointed out that in the Spanish version of The Book of Bill: Bill says Ford can call him anything but "Mi Amor" instead of anything but "Late for Dinner" and-

...I swear, Spanish translators cannot keep getting away with this

[incorrect-turn]

Simcoe: I met a dumbass today. Awful.

Caleb: You looked in a mirror?

Simcoe: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and the gods may not be so merciful.

[bltchkawa]

Lighting practice!!! And I also wanted to practice backgrounds. Made it sad cause that’s what I’m good at 😎

[ahopelessblogaboutdinosaurtrain]

Buddy: [comes home injured from hunt]

Tiny: If you die, I’m killing you.

[umbrellainkart]

There’s a difference!