#spent throwing up everything i tried giving him rice again after a while

[coffeeworldsasaki]

My dog is currently doing an hunger strike to fight against the great injustice of having to eat rice instead of pasta, keep him in your prayers

[kitashousewife]

rooftops

an: i just got hit with this little idea idk what's going on lmao but i was inspired by rooftops by surfaces!

pairings: timeskip!tsukishima x fem!reader

warnings: anxiety, childhood friends to lovers, food/drink and eating mentions, he is a mommas boy i decided

-

tsukishima huffs as soon as he hangs up the call, resisting the urge to throw his phone onto the breakroom chair. another apartment rejection, making that the fourth one this week. his fingers rub his eyes beneath his glasses as he accepts defeat once and for all.

after his shift today, he will be driving himself and his many boxes of belongings in his car back to his childhood home. for how long? he's not sure.

that's the worst part, in his opinion.

the lease was up for the apartment that he shared with yamaguchi. sure, he could've renewed and stayed for another year. but he just needed a change. for the last few weeks, the two boys had spent every evening researching different apartments closer to their jobs without any luck. any place that did have availability was conveniently snatched up before they could press send on the application.

kei drives home that afternoon with a weird feeling in his stomach. a mix between nostalgia and disappointment that only gets stronger as he drives into town. the late spring brought blooming trees and swaying flowers, welcoming him back home again. when he pulls into the driveway, though, he feels tired.

besides his housing search, he recently lost out on a great promotion at work. he wasn't too torn up about it until he learned that it was because he was too committed to volleyball. yet another time when his interests and reality butted heads. he's been having some tougher practices lately, exhausting his body as well as his mind.

"hi mom," he mumbles, ducking his head as he opens his car door. "i'm sorry about all of this. i'll be out as soon as i can."

his mom only smiles, reaching in to grab a couple of his boxes.

"you can stay as long as you would like. besides, how lucky am i to have my son home again?" she kisses his cheek while he bends down to grab a few things, and he shakes his head despite the smile tugging at his lips.

"what happened with this last place?" she asks, setting the boxes down in his childhood room, dusting her hands off.

"who knows. they called me during my break but they didn't give a reason," kei sighs. the weird feeling bubbles in his stomach once more as he takes in his old room. "at this point i think they have it out for tadashi and i."

"maybe it just isn't meant to be!" his mom says over her shoulder as they go downstairs for the last few things. kei rolls his eyes at that. ever the optimist, his mom.

"how is she?"

he shuts the door to his car and rolls his eyes once more, but this time his mom just laughs.

"she's fine. still working, i suppose."

as soon as the two of you started dating, kei tried his best to keep his mom in the dark in hopes of avoiding her teasing. it didn't work, of course, she found out the day of from your own mom.

the one downside of being childhood friends.

it had only been a few weeks, navigating the now romantic side of your relationship, but everything felt right. it felt safe.

"you should have her over tonight! i would love to see her."

"i'm sure you would," kei says from behind his water glass. "she's probably tired, though. maybe this weekend."

his mom blinks at him from across the kitchen counter.

"what."

"you haven't told her."

he throws his head back. "no, mom, i haven't. what am i supposed to say? oh by the way i moved back in with my mom?" when he sits upright, he's met with a bowl of pork and rice.

"kei, you're being ridiculous. for one, you guys have known each other for what, fifteen years?"

"seventeen."

"fine, seventeen years. she's probably been here more times than you could count. plus, you and i both know she wouldn't say anything. she loves you no matter what."

as he chews, he thinks that his mom is probably right. but what if she isn't? besides, what woman wants to be with someone that still lives with their mom?

"i think i'm going to unpack. thanks for the food mom."

he trudges up the stairs, looking at the photos that line the walls. framed school portraits, other small photos like the one of him and akiteru in the backyard with superhero capes, and of course the framed photo of you and kei at the school dance your third year. when he gets into his room, he flops onto his bed the same way he did a few years before. he lifts his head to look out the window and smiles.

are you off work? i'm at my moms if you want to stop by.

he stares at the ceiling for a few minutes, contemplating unpacking when you text back.

i would love to :)

you got off work around 5, stopping at your place to change when kei texted you. your apartment is only a short walk from your old neighborhood, so you decided to enjoy the nice weather and walk over.

while you walked, you thought about how far the two of you had come. growing up in the same neighborhood with moms who became best friends meant you spent a lot of time with kei and akiteru. running through the sprinkler while your moms gossiped over lemonade, trick or treating with tadashi, and of course birthday parties. your friendship continued through school and college, late nights sprawled out on the couch while tadashi and kei held smash tournaments, sunday afternoons studying at your kitchen tables, and of course volleyball games.

you laugh to yourself, thinking about how your teenage self would react to hearing that the two of you are now dating, not just friends but something much more. magical and comfortable all at the same time.

"hey."

you look around the front of the tsukishima home, but your boyfriend is nowhere to be found.

"up here."

"kei? what the heck are you doing?"

sitting on the flat part of the roof beneath his bedroom window, your boyfriend leans back on his elbows. sitting in the same spot the two of you have sat hundreds of times before.

"what took you so long? that snail at the end of the driveway made it three laps around by the time you got here."

"i walked. what are you doing up there?"

he smirks. "come up and find out. mom knows you're coming."

you walk in through the front door, greeted by his mom before running up the stairs and to the right.

"what's the surprise?" you climb out of his window, grabbing his hand that he offers you before sitting down.

"nothing. just wanted to sit up here. the sun should be setting in a bit."

you hum. "what's brought you to your moms?"

kei doesn't say anything, but he grabs his hand in yours. his lack of response makes you raise an eyebrow.

"kei?"

he sighs. "i moved back in," his voice is quiet and mumbled, but he stares straight ahead. the sunset light making his freckles stand out on his cheeks. you're sure his eyes are bright and golden, but he wont look at you.

"well, you'll be closer to me," you nudge his side and he snorts, still looking forward. "but that's okay. wanna talk about it?"

"there's not much to say," he turns to you now. you can tell he's embarrassed. his cheeks are a little pink, matching the tips of his ears. he lets out a tired sigh. "our lease was up, but every single place we applied to has turned us down. we had to be out of there so i came home," like a child dies on his tongue. you're playing with his fingers in your lap.

"and tadashi?"

kei smiles. you can't help but wonder about your friend. you've always been this way, worrying about everyone else first.

"he's staying at his parents as well."

he feels extremely relaxed, every nervous feeling dissipating as the sun sets. his mom was right, but he'll never tell her that.

"how long are you staying?"

his fingers take his glasses in hand, twirling them for a second before turning to you. a sight you don't see as often as you'd like.

"until i find somewhere to stay is my guess. a week, maybe more. i just hate this," he covers his eyes, now laying back fully against the shingles of the roof. "seriously embarrassing."

"says who?"

he peeks at you through his fingers. "everyone."

you stare ahead towards the sunset again. your thoughts go back and forth for a minute or so, both of you sitting in silence. the scary thing about your relationship is the same as the best thing: your history. it's amazing because you know each other so well, you've been a part of each other's accomplishments and experiences. but at the same time, one wrong move and that could all go away, turning into only memories.

"i don't think it's embarrassing. you have a mother who loves you and welcomes you home. plus, at least your mom didn't turn your room into storage like mine," you deride, earning a smirk and a snort from your boyfriend. "but if it's that big of a deal to you, why don't you just move in with me?"

you stop, mouth shutting quickly to stop any other words from flying out. your face heats up and you stare ahead, refusing to see the reaction from the man laying beside you.

he's just as shocked as you. he looks up at the pink sky for a few seconds.

"o-okay."

"what?"

he sits up slowly, leaning back on his elbows once more, before slipping on his glasses. he turns to you with a small smile.

"i mean, why not. unless you didn't mean it,"

your eyes go wide. "no, i mean it! i mean, why not. i have the space, it's just me and i have an extra room you could use as an office. plus i already have a bed, and-"

"you're messy though."

you scoff. "i am not!"

he smirks, pulling you closer to lean into his chest. "i should move in so keep an eye on you. keep you from staying up too late. besides, i'm a great roommate. you would be lucky to have me."

you laugh. "i am lucky to have you, you're right."

kei stutters for a moment, before relaxing again. he's still not used to your compliments and flirting, but he can't get enough. he squeezes you a little tighter, kissing the top of your head.

"when can i move in?"

"monday? that way you can spend the weekend with your mom?"

he hums. "i like that plan."

the two of you sit on the roof for a while longer, watching the rest of the sunset in peace. kei feels happier, so excited to finally have somewhere to call home. he's actually thought about this for a while, coming home to you after a long day, going to bed with you and waking up to do it all again. being there for you when you’re sad, no longer relying on facetime or a quick call.

but for now he will enjoy the weekend, pretending to be young again.

he won’t admit it, but he’s also glad to live so close to home. but he can’t let his mom hear that.

[rocorambles]

Mission: Seduce Kuroo Tetsurou

Pair: Kuroo x Reader

Genre: NSFW, Slight Angst, Fluff, Porn With Plot

Warnings: Degradation, Master/Pet Dynamics, Sex Toys, Overstimulation, Cum Play, Nipple Play

Prompt: "Guess I'll just have to cum inside you."

Summary: You really should have just spoken to Kuroo about your insecurities instead of letting everything spiral out of control. But that’s okay, your husband is more than happy to thoroughly remind you that you’re the only woman he’ll ever want.  

Author’s Note: This is my contribution for my HQ Discord Server’s NSFW collaboration. There are so many talented writers on the server and I highly encourage you to check out the collaboration masterlist here to see how everyone decided to run with this spicy prompt. (Masterlist goes live Monday 31st August 11:30pm U.K. time!) 

You stretch your arms over your head as a big yawn rumbles throughout your entire body. It’s too early for any sane person to be up, even the sun is barely creeping in through the windows of your apartment, but your husband has hardly been sane recently with the crazy amount of hours he’s been pouring into work. You’re lucky that you even woke up before he left and you smile as you hear your overgrown house cat rustle around your bathroom and bedroom, getting ready for the day. 

“Tetsurou, hurry up so you have time to eat at least a little breakfast before you head out! You’ve been skipping it too much recently. You wouldn’t want me to leave you for one of those pro-athletes you work so closely with when you become just stick and bones, would you?” 

You bite back a laugh when your husband’s messy bed hair peeks out from around the corner and hazel eyes narrow at you, but you’re not laughing when he finally saunters over to you in his suit and traps you against the kitchen counter between his long arms, leaning in so close your noses are brushing and just when you relax and close your eyes, waiting for him to kiss you, you rapidly blink your eyes open as he gives you a quick light peck before ambling off to pour himself a cup of the green tea you’d brewed. With a pout, you warm up the rice balls you’d bought last night and place them on the dining table, wrinkling your nose in displeasure at the smirk on Kuroo’s face, but it’s all forgotten as the two of you lightly chat over breakfast, Kuroo’s long legs spreading into your space across the table, your calves gently rubbing against each other as you laugh and eat. But all too soon it’s time for him to go and he gives you another loving peck before racing out the door and with a sigh, you wash the dishes before getting ready to leave for work yourself.

You love Kuroo with all your heart. Your feelings for him have only gotten stronger over the years and even after tying the knot with him, you can’t help the way your heart flutters and warmth fills your chest whenever the two of you lock eyes. But when your mind replays the teasing scene from this morning, your thighs clench and you bite your lips. Kuroo’s always been a tease and you love it as much as you hate it. No one knows how to rile you up like he does and he uses that to his advantage, rendering you a desperate, needy mess before finally making good on all his dirty promises. But lately, he hasn’t been following through. You can’t even remember the last time you’d done anything more than heatedly make out. 

At first, you had tried to be patient. You know far too well exactly why he hasn’t been in the mood recently. It’s so obvious to you. It’s obvious in the ever growing and darkening circles underneath his eyes. It’s obvious in the way he can barely stay awake when you do manage to spend some time together when he comes back home from work. It’s obvious in the way he immediately passes out as soon as his head hits the pillow. Hell, even his messy bed hair that usually defies gravity seems to slump more and more with every passing day. He’s exhausted. You’ve always loved how dedicated and hardworking Kuroo is. It’s one of the many reasons you’d fallen for him and you know how important his job is to him, but you wonder if it’s time to intervene as you watch your husband walk around your shared apartment like a zombie. Also, more selfishly, you have needs and it’s been months since you’ve been stuffed full by him and really, this is all Kuroo’s fault for training your body to constantly yearn for him after all the years he spent pleasuring you over and over again. With a determined glint in your eyes, you begin to scheme. Let Mission Seduce Kuroo Tetsurou begin.

You scan yourself in the mirror pleased with how you look in a strappy lingerie set you know drives Kuroo crazy. It’s a delicate and intricate creation of lace and ribbons that barely covers you, only accentuating the curves of your figure, but you know it’s the one strip of ribbon that travels in a single bold line between your breasts and leads up to a delicate lacy red collar wrapped around your neck that will specifically catch Kuroo’s eyes. Checking the time, you excitedly perch yourself on the bed, positioning yourself seductively, candles flickering and enhancing the mood as you wait for him, but a hour passes and you unwillingly succumb to sleep, ignorant of the way your phone buzzes with an apologetic text from Kuroo, letting you know he’d be home even later than usual. Blearily you open your eyes and wince as daylight sears your vision. Wait...daylight? You scramble to sit up and check your surroundings and your shoulders sag in frustration when you find yourself still in your lingerie set, but carefully tucked into bed, blankets wrapped around your body, Kuroo’s side of the bed empty and cold. You reach over to look at your phone, getting up to get dressed for work, when you see a new text from your husband. 

Sorry, kitten. You must have been waiting a long time for me last night. You looked absolutely beautiful. Look! I even took some pictures so I could remember. But maybe next time try not to fall asleep while the candles are still lit ^.^  

Your face heats up at the lewd pictures he’d taken of you while you were fast asleep and your heart warms at his compliment, but you stubbornly shake your head. There’s no time to be distracted. You’re still a woman on a mission. 

Attempt two takes place that weekend and you watch your husband from the shadows, lurking behind him before finally pouncing on him as he sits at his desk, answering a work phone call. You saucily wink at him as you saunter into his view and you smirk at the way he clears his throat and gulps at the sight of you dressed in nothing but his old Nekoma jersey and black thigh highs. And when you sink to your knees and arch your back just so, you almost snicker at the way he hisses when his jersey rides up and your bare ass is displayed. But he collects himself enough to firmly, but gently shove you away from him as you try to pull his boxers down and despite a few more attempts on your end, you instantly stop when he puts his phone on mute and sternly says your full name. 

But Kuroo’s always been weak against your puppy dog eyes and with a slight roll of his eyes, he beckons you to sit on his bare thigh and as he calmly and professionally continues his call, you heavily pant with your tongue lolling out, drool dripping from your mouth as you grind against his strong muscles like a bitch in heat, smearing your arousal everywhere until you’re almost sliding back and forth against the taut surface. And as he clenches his muscles and digs his leg further up into you, your body convulses and he barely has time to end the call before you loudly moan as you ride out your orgasm. He whispers filthy praises into your ear about what a good slut you are, what a desperate pet you are, what a mess you’ve made all over master’s leg, but when you finally exhaustedly slump onto his chest, he peppers butterfly kisses all over your face and holds you for a few minutes before carrying you to the bathroom and washing both of you off despite your protests that you still want to play more. 

He at least has the decency to apologetically kiss you for ending things so abruptly as he throws on slacks and a button-up before rushing off to work to take care of the emergency he had just been on a call about despite the fact that it’s a weekend, but you can’t help the growing insecurity that begins to eat at you as you spend the rest of that Saturday alone. Were you not as attractive as you used to be? Was Kuroo getting tired of you? Why does it feel like you’re trying so hard to get his attention? Does touching you feel like just a husbandly duty for him now? Thought after crippling thought sears through you and you have to hold back the tears that threaten to spill when Kuroo returns late that night and, thinking you’re already asleep, turns on his side with his back facing towards you and instantly falls asleep.        

You muster what little resolve you have left with the last few scraps of your self-confidence for a final attempt. Raking through your mind for memories of what would hopefully bring some passion back between the two of you, you perk up as your eyes scan a black box crammed underneath the bed. Kuroo hates it when you masturbate, when you touch yourself, when you make yourself cum without him being physically present or at least on a call with you to hear all the pretty sounds you make. Surely this would be enough to finally have him fuck you senseless like he always used to. But when you purposefully time everything so that Kuroo enters your bedroom and finds you stuffed full with your favorite dildo, a wand vibrator pressed against your clit, and your back arched as broken cries fill the room, he just gives you a tired smile and sits on the edge of the bed before helping you by thrusting the dildo in and out of your gushing cunt. And it feels so good, but when you see how dull and lifeless Kuroo’s sleep deprived eyes look despite the fact that you’re laid out in an erotic display of lust, you can’t stop the sobs you let out as you climax. 

Thinking you’re just crying from the overwhelming pleasure and too tired to dig further into it, Kuroo absentmindedly tosses the toys to the side and cradles you in his arms as he falls asleep, finding comfort in your familiar scent and figure, ignorant of the way your body continues to tremble as you cry yourself to sleep. And as you try to keep your sobs and sniffles as quiet as possible, you decide to abort this mission, deeming it a complete and utter failure and you struggle to fall asleep that night as self-deprecating thoughts claw at your insides. Of course Kuroo didn’t find you sexy anymore. Your body has changed a lot since your younger days. You should be grateful that you still have a loving husband, a husband who works tirelessly to help provide for the two of you, a husband who always takes care of you, a loyal and devoted husband. And despite the longing pang for something more, something primal, for your base desires to be filled, you tentatively turn in Kuroo’s arms until you're face to face and you nuzzle into his toned chest and finally find peace in the rhythmic rise and fall of his sleeping figure. 

Life goes on normally after that. At least for Kuroo. He's too distracted and exhausted to notice the way your smiles are a little more forced, the way you're more hesitant about touching him, the way you wear more clothes to cover your body as self-consciousness plagues your mind. So it's just business as usual for him to excitedly tell you about the Japan Volleyball Association's annual summer beach party, but he blinks in confusion when you don't return his enthusiasm, mumbling a feeble excuse about not having a swimsuit for the occasion. Brows furrowed, he digs through the drawers of your wardrobe and triumphantly holds up a black bikini set you still have, waving aside your worries that it won't fit and that it won't look good on you anymore and that's how you find yourself a few weeks later, exiting Kuroo's car and walking side by side with him in said bikini, feeling like an ugly troll next to your stunning husband whose lean and toned muscles are on full display with him just sporting a red pair of swim trunks. 

But your insecurities are pushed aside as a loud "hey, hey, hey" echoes even over the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and you can't help but grin as Bokuto runs over slapping Kuroo hard enough on the back to leave a red mark before picking you up and spinning you around as he hugs you. "Alright, that's enough, stop manhandling my wife, you big dumb owl!" Kuroo pretends to grumble at the two of you, but you can tell by the amused glint in his eyes as Bokuto finally lets you go and the reassuring hand he places on your lower back as the three of you mingle with everyone else that he doesn't really mind. But as soon as you reach the thickest part of the crowd, Kuroo quickly kisses your forehead before running off to network with some players and coworkers, leaving you alone with Bokuto. 

The two of you have fun. Bokuto has always been the life of the party and you laugh the hardest you've laughed in a long time. But many drinks later and unable to keep up with his crazy stamina, you excuse yourself and find a quiet corner, drinking a glass of cold water to cool down and sober up a bit. It's been hours and you still haven't seen Kuroo since he separated from you and you're so focused scanning the venue for him that you don't notice the person drawing near you until you feel movement right next to you. Surprised you turn around and are met with a vaguely familiar face. Blond dyed hair. An ever present smirk. You don't realize how long you've been staring, trying to remember where you recognize him from, until he snorts and waves a hand in your face. "I know I'm good looking, but don't you think it's a little rude to just stare at me silently?" 

You try to stutter out an apology as you finally come back to your senses, but he laughs it off and introduces himself. Atsumu. Yes, now you recognize him. Bokuto's teammate. You've seen tons of pictures of him on Bokuto's social media accounts. He's a little rough around the edges and you can feel your face heat up as he blatantly looks you up and down, eyes lingering a bit too long on the swell of your breasts, but you can feel your confidence growing, feeling truly desired for the first time in months. What's the harm in a little flirting? 

The two of you banter back and forth and maybe it's the heat of the sun mixed with the alcohol still running through your veins, but you don't notice the way Atsumu inches closer to you until your thighs are pressed tightly against each other or the way he rests one arm behind you, slyly pressing it against your upper back. And you definitely don't notice how he suddenly swoops in to crash his lips against yours and you move to shove him away from you only to be interrupted by a flurry of motions and you stare in shock at Atsumu sprawled out on the ground and your husband furiously glaring down at him, fists clenched so hard his knuckles are turning white. 

You react just in time to lunge at Kuroo and you tightly wrap your arms around his tense figure as he takes a step towards the blonde setter, holding him still as realization finally dawns on Atsumu when he spots your matching wedding bands and he scampers off with a rushed apology. But even when he’s long gone and nowhere in sight, you still clutch your husband, not letting go until you feel his muscles relax. You let him shake you off as he turns around to tower over you and you whimper at the fire burning in his eyes, hazel eyes almost glowing as they pin you down. You’re thankful for the loud music and lively atmosphere, ensuring no one’s paying any attention to the two of you as he tightly grips your chin and forces you to maintain eye contact. 

“Someone’s been a naughty kitten. I leave you alone for a few hours and you let some other man just place their dirty paws all over you? Let them taste your pretty little mouth? If I hadn’t stopped him, would you have let him fuck your tight cunt too? Mark you up inside and out?” 

You hate the way you grow wet at his words, trembling when Kuroo notices your growing arousal and narrows his eyes in disdain. But it’s the brief flicker of hurt in his eyes that finally has you digging your hands into his waist as denial and reassurances come pouring out of your mouth. 

“Tetsurou, I had no idea he was going to kiss me. It happened so fast. I’m so sorry. Of course I would have stopped him if you hadn’t stepped in! I love you. I only want you.” 

You stare intently into his eyes, trying to portray all your love for him through your gaze and you sigh in relief when his eyes soften at your words, but your breath catches in your throat when his eyes sharpen into a familiar gleam and a dark smirk curves onto his lips. He finally releases your chin and leans down until his hair brushes against the side of your face as he purrs into your ear. 

“Prove it to me.” 

Kuroo has a reputation to uphold and, not wanting to risk anyone seeing what’s about to happen, he grabs your hand and guides you through the dancing crowd, laughing and greeting a few tipsy faces he recognizes in passing, but not once does he stop leading you towards the exit and you’re quivering in anticipation by the time the two of you reach the parking lot and he roughly shoves you into the back of his car. The door has barely closed before he pulls your bottoms down, not even bothering to fully remove them as he also hastily shoves his boxers down just enough for his cock to swing out. And you almost moan at just the sight of what you’ve been lusting for all these months, a small part of you taking pride in the fact that he’s not as unaffected as he makes himself seem behind his angry facade as you unconsciously lick your lips at the sight of his already fully hard length. 

You attempt to sit up and move towards him, desperate for a taste of the pre-cum leaking out of his tip, but you yelp when you’re shoved back down by a hand on your chest and you whine, only for that to quickly turn into a wail as Kuroo slams two of his fingers inside of your throbbing cunt. He growls as he rapidly pistons his digits in and out of you and you should be embarrassed by the way your cries of ecstasy and the sound of your squelching wet pussy fill the car, but you can’t bring yourself to feel any shame as you lose yourself to the delirious pleasure of your husband’s long fingers filling you, stretching you, always sure to rub against that spongy spot inside of you that makes you see stars. But when your hand instinctively reaches down to rub your clit, you’re startled back to reality when it’s slapped away and his fingers are yanked out of you. 

He sneers down at you, a wicked smile twisting his face as he shoves his drenched fingers into your mouth and you obediently suck, making sure to clean every remaining drop of yourself that coats his skin. Satisfied, he finally removes his hand from your mouth and he quirks an eyebrow in amusement as you beg and plead for him to fuck you.

“Tetsurou, please. I need your cock inside of me. Please, I want it so badly. Please fuck me. Please please please. I miss it so much.” 

He mockingly coos down at you as desperate tears well in the corner of your eyes. “Aww is my little kitten crying for my cock? You’re such a fucking whore. You want my big fat cock inside of you so badly that you’d cry and beg for it like a desperate slut? You sure it’s my cock that you miss? I think you’d be happy with any cock fucking you. You’d let anyone stuff you full and moan like a whore, wouldn’t you?” 

And the tears finally fall as you sob and shake your head rapidly. “Only you, Tetsurou. Always only you. Please please please.” You’re still crying and incoherently babbling as he slams his entire shaft inside of you in one swift motion and Kuroo darkly smiles at the way your crying instantly turns to wanton moans at the sudden intrusion. But it’s been far too long since either of you have done this and both of you are so worked up that he knows he doesn’t have much time before you both reach your ends. And sure enough after just a few strokes he can feel your body begin to tighten and he grits his teeth at the sight of your eyes rolling into the back of your head, your head shaking back and forth, and your mouth wide open. But even as dazed as you are, when you feel the way your husband’s thrusts become uneven, you try to voice as much reason as you possibly can, fully aware of your husband’s tendency to paint your body with his fluids. 

“Tetsu-Tetsurou AH- Feels so good. Hngh D-don’t cum on me. Don’t have anything to- AHHH clean it up with and- OH we need to go back to the party.”

Kuroo grunts in displeasure at your words, but he knows you’re right and as much as he loves to see you covered in thick spurts of white, the thought of anyone else seeing that incites rage in him. You get ready for him to pull out and cum down your throat like you always do when you mess around in similarly inconvenient places, ready to swallow down any evidence of your sinful deeds, but you scream when his thrusts get even harder and faster. 

"Guess I'll just have to cum inside you."

And those words are the final shove you need to fall over the peak and Kuroo follows shortly after you as your pussy walls clench and milk his cock. He stays buried inside of you for a few more moments, wanting your tight walls to soak up as much of him as possible, but when he slides out of you, he quickly pulls your bottoms up, not letting a single drop escape, and you whimper as he purposefully tugs them up just a tad too tightly, teasingly wedging the fabric between your folds before finally having some mercy and letting you rearrange them. He opens the car door and steps out first, offering a hand down towards you and you grab it, gingerly standing up only to be pulled swiftly towards him and you stumble into his chest. But before you can fully find your balance, a large hand tugs your hair until you’re forced to stare up into cat-like eyes. 

“I want you to keep my cum inside of you for the rest of the party. I’m not anywhere near done with your punishment. I’ll be checking at home tonight to see if your pretty little pussy is still painted white.”       

The rest of the party is torturous. Kuroo doesn't let you step even a foot away from him as he continues mingling with the crowd and in any other scenario you'd love the attention he showers you with as he affectionately introduces you to countless faces, but not today. Not with your pussy desperately clenching in order not to spill a single drop of the white liquid coating your insides. Not with your touch starved body only yearning for more after getting a taste of what you've wanted all these months. And Kuroo only makes things worse with his subtle teasing. 

You know better than to think any of his touches are accidental or innocent and your body is so in tune with his that it reacts to every single bit of contact he dishes out. His arm grazes over your nipples as he reaches over to grab a drink. He leads you with a hand that just happens to slip from your lower back and land squarely on your ass. He wipes your mouth for you, claiming you have a piece of food on the corner of your mouth, but that doesn't really explain why his fingers briefly slip past your lips. But all hell breaks loose when he reapplies your sunscreen for you and his hands blatantly slip under your bikini set, teasingly close to where you want him most, but always just missing your clit and nipples and when he reaches your neck, a moan escapes you at the feeling of his hand subtly wrapping and tightening around your throat. 

"Tetsurou, stop teasing me! Can we go home? Please take me home. I need you inside of me again. I want you to ruin me." 

Kuroo's the one who's turned you into a needy slutty mess, but it's his turn to feel flushed at the sight of you lewdly begging him to do whatever he wants to you in broad daylight, in front of hundreds of people and finally losing his self-control, he brusquely grabs your hand and once again the two of you are leaving, but this time for good. The car ride is silent, the atmosphere thick and tense between the two of you as you clench your thighs together and Kuroo tries to ignore the growing bulge in his shorts. It's silent as both of you enter your apartment and Kuroo seats himself on your couch. But you break once you close and lock the front door and Kuroo impassively stares at you as you drop to your knees in front of him and beg him to fuck you again. You know you're barely making any sense, fueled only by your cock hungry thoughts, but you pause when Kuroo raises a hand to silence you. 

"Let's see if you were able to follow the one rule I gave you today, kitten." 

Eagerly you nod your head and you raise yourself on your knees, spreading your thighs apart before pulling your bikini bottom to the side and you think you could cum right there and then just from the way Kuroo unabashedly stares at the white trail dripping down your inner thigh as he pushes down his shorts enough to languidly stroke his cock. 

"Good girl. Did you like being my little cum bucket today? Did you like being filled by me? Bet if it were possible, you'd always want your little cunny to be drenched in my cum, right? Come sit on master's lap." 

Kuroo chuckles at the way you clumsily stumble in your haste to reach him as you blather affirmation after affirmation in response to his questions and he lowers his head to affectionately kiss you, lightly nipping your lower lip before he pulls back. He moves one hand to his cock to angle it as his other hand grabs your waist and urges you to move, but you hardly need any encouragement and you both groan as you sink down on his length until you're completely bottomed out and sitting in his lap once again. Immediately you try to bounce, but you whine when strong hands hold you still and you can feel tears of frustration forming as you pout at your husband's smirk. But any annoyance is forgotten when his hands fondle and pinch your nipples through the fabric of your top. 

"Look at you. I've barely done anything and you're already so worked up. Stop moving! Just sit there and take what I give you." You yelp when he roughly pinches your nipples and you cease your attempts to ride him, but you can't help the way your hips roll and grind as he continues. 

"Your nipples are already so hard, kitten. Look how obvious they are even beneath your swimsuit. Were they like this all day? Is that why Atsumu couldn't take his eyes off you? You think every player there saw how slutty your nipples are? Realized what a horny desperate whore you are? I bet they all wanted to get a taste." 

You wail when Kuroo shoves the fabric aside and latches a mouth onto one of your sensitive nubs, while experly flicking and rolling the other between his fingers. He alternates between the two sides and your frazzled mind can barely keep up with his actions as he switches up the motions of his fingers and mouth. He pulls off briefly and sharply tugs at your nipples. "Think you can cum just from your nipples?" You try to deny it, pleading for him to at least rub your clit, but your protests are ignored and you gasp when he dives back down and harshly sucks at one of your puffy nubs. Kuroo knows your body even better than you do and he continues to stimulate your nipples even when you topple over into an orgasm that takes you by surprise and you tightly clench around his cock as your back arches and only when you weakly paw at him to stop does he release your nipple with a lewd pop. 

You playfully smack him when he teases you about what a slut you must be to be able to get off from just your nipples and you hide your face in his neck as he shamelessly thinks out loud about all the nipple clamps, suctions, and vibrators he can use on you to train you even more. But you raise your head in alarm when you feel yourself being repositioned, Kuroo's erect cock still inside of you as he lays you on your back and hovers over you. 

"Tetsurou, st-stop NGH TOO SOON!"

"What did you say, kitten? Sorry, it's hard to understand you when you're moaning like a whore. Weren't you begging for this all day? Shouldn't you be thanking me?"

Kuroo thrusts sharply into you with every word and you can't think of anything other than how well he fills you, how perfectly he fits inside the cunt he's molded and shaped for himself after years of using it, how amazing the drag of his cock against your insides is. You babble thank you, thank you, thank you mindlessly over and over again, incapable of doing anything else as your breasts bounce and your body writhes underneath him. And when his hips finally stutter and he furiously rubs your clit as he adds to the mess inside of you, you break apart once again, your mind going blank as you feel the warmth of his cum sloshing inside of you.

But exhaustion slams into you as you come down from your climax, exhaustion from your third orgasm, exhaustion from being teased all day and all the barriers you’d put up finally come crashing down and Kuroo stares in horror as you sob, nothing like the pleasure filled sobs he usually wrings out of you. No, these are heartbreaking anguished cries for help and he immediately answers the call by tightly clutching you to his chest, your lower bodies still connected as he murmurs words of praise and love into your ear. 

“Hey, what’s wrong, sweetheart? I love you. You know that, right? I love you more than anything or anyone else in this entire world. I’m so lucky to be your husband. You’re so good to me, so loving, so supportive, so loyal, so beautiful.” 

The last word catches your attention and with a sniffle you hesitantly remove your head from his torso and look at him through watery lashes. 

“You think I’m beautiful?” 

Kuroo flounders for a second, disbelief choking the words in his throat, unable to understand how you could think otherwise. But when he sees the insecurity and doubt flooding your eyes he gently cradles your face in his calloused hands. 

“Of course I do. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, inside and out.” 

Your heart flutters at the sincerity you see in his eyes and that’s all it takes for you to break down in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck as you tuck your head under his chin, and he silently listens as you reveal all the internal suffering you’d put yourself through over the past months as you let your anxiety and worry mix with your doubts and insecurities, letting them fester and ferment into a self-destructive time bomb. A slow-moving process he’d been too daft to notice, that you’d been too scared to talk to him about for his sake, not wanting to be a bother or another item he needed to check off his to-do list. And while you continue shyly speaking, tears stream down Kuroo’s face and his heart clenches at the thought of how long you’d quietly suffered, putting on a happy facade for him, taking care of his every want and need during the few hours of the week he was home and awake. 

Surprised to feel liquid drops plop down on your face, you quirk your head upwards and panic when you see your husband’s teary eyes and the two of you become a blubbering mess as you both try to wipe each other’s tears and soothe each other. It’s so silly to see two adults trying to out comfort each other that you accidentally snort at the strange image the two of you must make and there’s a slight pause, but then your laughter is joined by Kuroo’s trademark cackle and before you know it, the two of you are wrapped in each other’s arms, feeling the rumble of each other’s laughter through your connected bodies. 

Yes, there’ll be serious conversations later about being more open and transparent with each other when something’s troubling either one of you and discussions on how you can both work on your communication. You’ll jokingly complain that Kuroo is hovering over you too much for weeks after this breakdown as he practically scrutinizes you with those perceptive eyes of his, always making sure you’re really fine. And he’ll never give you any more opportunities to doubt how much he loves every part of you when you’re screaming his name on every surface of your home. But for now, feeling infinitely lighter with all your burdens finally shoved off your shoulders with the help of your husband, you’re content to close your eyes and relish in the warmth of the lean body pressed against you.     

[juminsmysticmc]

Pregnancy Series - Part 2

Finding out 

Hope you like the second part of my pregnancy series! 

Click here to read Part 1!  

Jumin 

You dried your tears after you dried your hands with the towel next to you, observing the pregnancy test you just took in front of you.

You hated that one stick so much that whenever your period was late, your heart was beating in fear and not happiness.

One and a half years passed ever since you and Jumin began to try for a baby and there was still no baby.

You couldn’t bear seeing your husband’s sad face anymore whenever you gave him the news that you weren’t pregnant and that this was just a false alarm.

You were sure that this time too, the result wouldn’t be the one you hoped for.

A last glance on the clock made you look at the pregnancy test for the last time before you would toss it into the trash can since you had to get the breakfast ready for Jumin, but somehow this time, something was different.

Your heart was beating crazily in your chest as your cheeks grew warm.

You slowly placed your hand on your belly as you watched the results on the stick you hated so much.

,,Pregnant’’ it said.

You slowly sat back on the toilet, the pink stick between your hands as you read it again. ,,Pregnant,’’ you gasped, trying to gulp the tears away.

,,J-’’ you were about to call your husband when your brain decided to think about this logically.

What if the test is false and he gets excited?

And so, you instead decided to not say anything and instead put the test in your pocket to hide in a bag so that he wouldn’t see anything.

The first thing you would do, however, was go to the doctor after breakfast.

,,My love, I forgot that I have to meet a friend after breakfast. I know I shouldn’t come late as your second secretary, but-’’

Jumin kissed you as he took his bowl of rice.

,,You are my wife and are allowed to do anything. Do you need Driver Kim perhaps?’’ of course you declined and even though you knew, you just lied. You knew that this was going to protect him…

,,Six weeks pregnant, Mrs Han. Your pregnancy test wasn’t wrong,’’ the doctor told you after a checkup, making you tear up.

She then made you follow her to a room where she made an ultrasound and eventually gave you your first picture of your baby.

The doctor explained the next steps, telling you that she wanted to see you regularly.

,,I’m so happy that you finally are here on your way and you did well. It's daddy’s birthday this weekend and you are already a perfect baby,’’ you sobbed as you looked around for some ideas for Jumin’s surprise...

Zen

,,I don’t think I can come today,’’ you groaned as you laid back as you just came back from throwing up into the toilet.

An acidic taste was left in your mouth, making you feel disgusting.

As if an upset stomach wasn’t enough, you even had a slight fever.

Your body felt weak and all you wanted to do was sleep, well, not that you could do anything else in this condition.

Your boyfriend looked concerned for you. The possibility of you being pregnant wasn’t even on his mind since the both of you finally gave up, wanting to wait again after so many failed attempts.

Well, Zen wanted to try more. It was more so you who couldn’t bear it mentally and so he stopped buying pregnancy tests.

,,It’s the time of the flu in February… well, I’ll stay with you,’’ Zen whispered and kissed your nose, feeling sad to see you so sick.

,,No,’’ you tried to stop him.

,,You need to go to work. It’s okay, I’ll sleep a bit and later when you are back, I will be better and I will be able to go to the doctor,’’ you told him, closing your eyes because right now everything was spinning in your head. You just wished for it to get better.

Zen hesitated, but agreed afterwards, giving you a last kiss. ,,I will come earlier, I mean, I took a holiday leave for tomorrow so I shouldn’t have much to do today,’’ he told you and quickly left as he was late for work.

You decided to close your eyes for a few seconds again before a big feeling of nausea hit you again, making you run to the toilet.

,,Ugh, I hate throwing up,’’ you silently cried to yourself as you tried to hold your own hair back.

It didn’t take you long until you decided to dial your doctor's number on your phone and ask for an appointment this afternoon.

,,Thank you, I will be there,’’ you said as the nurse asked you to come right away, making you groan in annoyance and get changed.

The weather was cold as you stepped out, closing the door behind you and walking towards the medical facility, rubbing your hands together as you were freezing.

,,Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day,’’ you remembered as you walked past a shop selling chocolate, remembering that you didn’t buy anything for your boyfriend yet.

,,Pretty lady! We even sell chocolate done with a picture chosen by you! Want to give it a try!? I bet you have a boyfriend!’’ a woman smiled at you, showing you pictures of white chocolate with edible photos printed on it.

You thanked her, telling her that you had to go somewhere and had no time.

A few streets away you arrived, putting your mask on and entering the building, telling the nurses that you had an appointment.

,,When I heard that you had a slight fever and felt nauseous, I knew immediately that you were pregnant!’’ the doctor smiled at you after she checked you up and took your blood sample, making you look in shock at her.

,,R-really? I am...expecting a baby?’’ you asked her, tears slowly coming up and rolling down your cheeks as she nodded.

You immediately called your gynecologist to make a second check and also see if you could already have a sonogram since suddenly you had a very good idea. 

,,Ajumma,’’ you said with a teary face to the woman who wanted to sell you chocolate earlier.

The woman looked concerned at first, but quickly began to tear up herself as you held up a picture.

,,I just got this good news. Will you help me surprise this baby’s father?’’ you asked her.

Yoosung

Soon, you and Yoosung would celebrate your eighth wedding anniversary.  

You were currently sitting in front of the window, thinking about everything the both of you achieved until now.

A lot.

Yoosung had a stable job, you worked with the RFA, both of you had your own big house with a beautiful garden. Your relationship and marriage was the best, there wasn’t anything else you could wish for.  

Everything seemed perfect, if just that one little detail wasn’t missing.

A child.

Something you both could take care of and shower with love and affection as it grew up.

But some things weren’t meant to be. It was just too much for you to handle.

The disappointment you regularly had to face, the pain in your heart.

,,We should give up,“ you whispered as you kept looking outside of the window, tears in your eyes as you said these harsh words.

Giving up was something you would normally never do.

Yoosung hugged you from behind, knowing how much this situation was hurting you and how much this made you depressed.

,,I will be back for dinner,“ he whispered after a few seconds before he rubbed your arms and put on his jacket to step out on his way to work.

As soon as he was outside, you could finally let out that loud sob you held onto yourself to not make Yoosung pity you and cried alone in your room.

,,Ah, I need to go to the doctor today,’’ you groaned as you dried your tears with your palm, sighting and looking at your display as you calculated how much time you still had until you had to go there.

As soon as you arrived, you rolled your eyes in annoyance as you sat down in the waiting room, three pregnant women with their husbands on their side, smiling widely, feeling probably blessed. Today was a bad day.

You were truly happy for every pregnant woman in the waiting room, but seeing them made you angry and made you feel and think things you shouldn’t.

You were jealous, jealous that they achieved something you couldn’t achieve in all these eight years.

,,Mrs. Kim?“ the doctor called you, making you stop thinking about the women around you and instead look up at her.

Your doctor was smiling at you as she asked you to follow her, leading the way to her room where she asked you to sit down to talk to you.

,,How are you?“ she began, ready to listen as you told her that you wanted to give up on getting pregnant.

,,But before that I would like to check one last thing. Is that okay?“ she asked you, nodding as she typed something on her keyboard to note everything you guys talked about.

A bit annoyed, you watched her minutes later as she checked you, finally looking into your eyes, smiling at you.

,,Mrs. Kim, it seems that you are already pregnant. Five weeks,“ she smiled.

In disbelief you observed her, you could feel your eyes get teary. ,,But the last test-”

,,Sometimes they’re false, but you are pregnant,“ she cut you off.

While she talked about a few things you should keep an eye on, all you could think about was that tomorrow you and Yoosung had your anniversary and that this news was the best present you could give him, just like she just gave to you.

Jaehee

,,I just hope you are alright and that they can find out whether it is or isn’t Covid-19,“ Jaehee whispered as she looked out the window.

You weren’t with her together at home, something that already was difficult for her, but knowing that you weren’t feeling well somewhere apart from her made her feel even worse.

The both of you decided to have a little bit of time on your own, making you go to your parents home for the week. Neither of you ever thought that you would stay away longer.

The reason why you both decided to get a distance from your place was that both of you just agreed on giving up on getting pregnant.

It was getting too hard for you and her, knowing that your body couldn’t give you what you wanted - a child.

You and Jaehee already spent about 9.000 won to get you fertilized artificially three times and you both failed three times.

Six weeks ago, when the doctor told you once again that you guys failed, you decided to give up.

As if it was yesterday, Jaehee remembered your crying face in your dark, shared bedroom.

Your loud sobs and your trembling body on the floor.

You were devastated.

She couldn’t bear to see you falling apart anymore and she couldn’t bear to act like the strong one for both of you because she, too, was in too much pain.

As soon as your parents found out, they persuaded you to come back home for a bit to rest.

However, as soon as you arrived, the symptoms of the virus hit you.

You were feeling weak, had a slight fever, and you felt like your limbs hurt a bit.

,,I hope so too. The test was negative. Well, all my tests are negative,’’ you mumbled, making Jaehee feel bad without noticing.

,,Tomorrow they will take a blood sample, but I’m happy that you are feeling good, Jaehee,’’ you said as she told you that her COVID test was also negative. 

,,Okay, I will go and sleep a bit. Call me tomorrow as soon as you know something new,’’ she whispered before she cut the call, her thoughts by your side.

The morning afterwards, your legs were shaking in the isolated waiting room as you waited for your results to come.

Well, if it wasn’t Covid it would be something less worrying, right?

Indeed, the news the doctor had was less worrying since you were told that you were positive - positive for a pregnancy.

,,Huh? But, the doctor said…. we waited so long!’’ you told her, crying out of happiness but not believing her.

,,Yes, sometimes the test can be false or he made a mistake, but I am for sure that you are pregnant,’’ she nodded.

And so, happy that you could go home again, you decided to not tell Jaehee anything and instead surprise her with good and happy news…

Saeyoung

Your husband looked at you with a sad face as you once again felt sick and decided to stay in bed the whole day.

But he knew that you weren’t sick, but more depressed and sad.

He gulped as he looked over to the calendar.

It’s been almost two years since the both of you agreed on trying to become pregnant, even though he was sure that it would work out in less than a year.

But you both failed.

And the one that was hurting her body was none other than yourself, but he could just observe you and stand by your side.

Saeyoung’s eyes wandered over to your desk where countless pills and bottles were standing.

The both of you were currently injecting hormones into you to overstimulate your production of eggs.

He was nibbling on his lips. ,,Mc?’’ he asked you.

,,Mhh?’’ you hummed in response, turning your body to his side.

He hated to see you in pain, feeling unwell, and of course the stress of becoming pregnant was something that bugged you too.

,,Maybe… well no, to be honest, I think that we should stop with the injections wait one, maybe two years for the baby. What do you think? I mean, I don’t want to stress out your body,’’ he whispered to you, nervous for your answer.

You just sadly smiled at him and nodded as you slowly closed your eyes.

,,It’s a good idea. I think I’ll sleep for a while. I actually have a headache,’’ you lied.

Well, the truth was that you stopped taking the injections for four days already, something Saeyoung didn’t know.

He also didn’t know that you were already six weeks pregnant.

But you also just found out at your last appointment when the doctor told you that you were five weeks along, making you feel the most happiest wife on earth.

The reason for your lies was that soon Saeyoung would have his birthday and you wanted to make this day a special day for him, but also for his brother, who would be an uncle soon.

And so you decided to lie to your husband who was clearly worried as hell and told him that you were having side effects of the hormones.

Well, that was something you also thought at first.

The doctor told you from the very first injection that the side effects may be hot flashes, mood swings, nausea, and swelling, so when you first had them, you didn’t actually think that you were pregnant.

But you still wanted to talk with her about it to make sure that everything was fine.

To your surprise, it was more than fine and you were pregnant.

,,We just need to keep the secret,’’ you whispered, rubbing your still flat belly.

Saeran

You patted your boyfriend’s back as he once again sobbed at the negative pregnancy test.

,,I… I’m a loser,’’ he whined and looked at you, his eyes red and swollen from all the tears.

,,Maybe my mother is telling me that I shouldn’t become a father, that I don’t deserve it, that I am bound to become a monster like her and… ahh… so much is going through my head!’’ he whined and threw the test into the next corner, sobbing into his hands.

You slowly began to sob too, feeling guilty.

,,I’m sorry, Saeran… I wish I could do better,’’ you cried as you looked at him. He seemed so fragile.

Your boyfriend suddenly looked up. ,,Why are you apologizing?’’ he asked you. He couldn’t believe what you were saying.

,,I can’t give you what you want. I’m a bad girlfriend,’’ you whined.

,,No!’’ he sobbed again. ,,I’m a bad boyfriend and brother! I can’t find Saeyoung so I’m getting punished and you’ve been with me even though you didn’t do anything!’’ he told you, now hugging you and rubbing your back. ,,I’m so selfish, crying to myself even though you’re in pain too!’’ he sobbed harder.

And so this day, just like other ones, ended with the both of you lying in bed, sobbing into each other's arms as you thought about the future without children.

But it was still empty.

Days passed by and you and Saeran decided to give it up. For the time being, you didn’t want to get stressed, you wanted to enjoy life/ Saeran wanted to find his brother for real now and you just wanted to have a clear head.

But it didn’t work as you felt a sudden pain in your abdomen.

Sick and lightheaded, you laid back in pain, feeling a slight temperature that morning.

Some infection, you thought. Being pregnant wasn’t on your mind back then.

But after you didn’t seem to get healthy again, Saeran decided that it was best to bring you to a hospital.

,,Are you perhaps pregnant?’’ the doctor asked you and seemed to understand the case pretty quickly.

But you wanted a whole diagnosis. ,,No, I can’t get pregnant,’’ you told him, hearing these words from your own mouth hurt even more and so you once again felt your hot cheek as your eyes began to shed tears again.

,,Make a pregnancy test to make sure before doing anything else,’’ he told the nurse and went off to the next patient.

Indeed, the nurse turned back with a big smile, asking you again. ,,Are you sure that you can’t get pregnant?’’ she asked you, rubbing your arm.

,,The last test was negative,’’ you whispered.

,,Well, we will bring you to the maternity ward because it seems that you are pregnant,’’ she chuckled and pushed the wheelchair to the other ward.

,,Uhm, can you please not tell my boyfriend? I… I want to prepare a surprise for him,’’ you told her as you began to smile in happiness.

Finally good news arrived. Was it a sign?

Jihyun

Almost two years passed ever since you and your husband decided to adopt a new child to make Lucy into a big sister.

However, back then the adoption wasn’t possible, making you go for pregnancy.

But to you it just seemed as if God wanted to punish you for something.

,,It’s not working,’’ you sobbed as you found out that this time, too, you weren’t pregnant.

Your husband pressed his lips together and thought of something else.

Injecting hormones into you was something he wanted to avoid.

,,Maybe,’’ he began, looking at you and stroking your hair. ,,Now, we should stop for a bit.

You are stressed out and I’m nervous.

We are doing our best and I’m sure that one day the right time will come and we will be able to have a child on our own,’’ he told you.

He let go of your hand and kissed your head and then walked off to pack his bag.

Jihyun also had to go on a business trip for six weeks so he had to prepare a few things.

As consolation, the both of you lastly had a lovely and also sexy time together. This time you two didn’t think of having a baby, you just wanted to feel each other, feel closer and happier as you both wouldn’t be able to stay next to each other for a bit.

The next morning, Jihyun already left. The house felt empty and you were down, but for Lucy, you kept staying the happy mother she knew, waking her up, preparing her, as well as bringing her to school and then doing your house chores.

But it didn’t take you three weeks until it all backfired. You got a bad virus and weren’t able to get off the bed.

,,I’m so sorry that I can’t help you,’’ Jihyun gasped from where he was currently, feeling guilty.

,,It’s okay. Hyun and Yoosung are helping me and Jaehee keeps an eye on Lucy's tuition while Jumin helps with the hospital and medicine,’’ you groaned as you felt like vomiting again. It was eight in the morning after all.

,,I am such a bad husband. Three more people have to look out for you,’’ he chuckled, happy that you had support at home.

,,Well, you are providing for our family so don’t feel bad. Besides, it’s five. Saeyoung and Saeran are doing their best making Lucy happy and helping me too,’’ you laughed.

A few moments later, you cut the call as a red haired man, none other than Saeyoung entered your room. ,,Hurry up, I am taking you to the doctor’s. I read countless diagnoses with your symptoms and none of them is anything I would like you to have,’’ he said worriedly, helping you get ready after you vomited again.

But the diagnosis you had was much better than you all thought and with happy tears in your eyes, you entered your friend’s car again, actually shocking him. ,,I never thought that you could be so wrong with your diagnosis, Saeyoung. Actually, Jihyun and I are finally going to become parents!’’

Vanderwood

The both of you stopped counting the time at some point.

It just felt like a never ending story. It felt as if it was impossible for the both of you to archive what you wanted to.

Becoming a family.

Having a child between the both of you at night, caring for someone…

The more time passed and the more negative tests you held between your trembling fingers, the more you thought that this was an impossible dream for you.

You kept biting your upper lip as you looked into your calendar again.

You were once again bleeding. It was your period.

A sigh left your mouth as you looked over to Vanderwood.

Ever since he stopped smoking and was actually trying for a child, his mood had gotten weirder and harder to bear.

You weren’t happy anymore.

,,Yo, Vanderwood!’’ you called him, trying to smile as he turned your head over to you. ,,I… can we actually stop trying? You can smoke again and I can… maybe focus on my job for a bit… like, nothing has happened yet. Can we go slowly?’’ you asked him.

This was so out of the blue, he was actually so shocked, maybe a bit pissed off. You fell over him with this topic as if it was the most causal thing to say.

But he still said yes. He still nodded at you and he still agreed with you.

And so he really began to smoke a day later. Of course, smoking wasn’t that good anymore. He actually hated it.

But, he was sulking? He was hurt by you, a bit disappointed even though he could understand what you were trying to tell him.

A few days later, your period didn’t come as strong as it was supposed to be, so you decided to visit a doctor, maybe also to get a prescription for your birth control again.

But the news you got there was something you never expected.

,,You’re pregnant and you’re three weeks along!’’ she said, looking at you happily. She never had a woman who couldn’t get pregnant since she was still not a very well known doctor.

But you, one of her hardest cases, finally did it.

,,Since it was a hard fight, I want you to take these,’’ she said and wrote something down. ,,You need to take them to support your body with the change, make sure to come regularly. I think you already know what to do, but do not lift anything heavy, rest a lot, sleep, drink, whenever something feels off do not hesitate to visit me, okay? I will now schedule the first ultrasound of your baby and then you will have the assignment to search for a midwife to support you, okay?’’ she asked her.

Suddenly you felt so happy and scared at the same time that you didn’t know what to do.

But you already knew that there was someone at home that would be clearly happy to find out and you knew that for sure.

Part 3 of my pregnancy series here

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

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12.05.2021// 23:55 MEST

[ficforce]

Scared

Shinmon Benimaru x F!Reader

SFW

No set timeline

Established relationship

Benimaru had been really off with her lately.

It wasn’t anything obvious, just small subtle changes in the way he looked at her or spoke to her, sometimes he would look like he wanted to say something and then wouldn’t. Usually, if he wanted to tell her something he would just come out and say it.

Y/N brought her chopsticks to her mouth and as she chewed she placed them back to her rice bowl, poking at the contents like she didn’t want to take another bite. Feeling eyes on her, she looked up to across the table where her gaze met Benimaru’s, his eyes were narrowed very slightly as he regarded her. Y/N nearly spoke up but the twins chose that moment to start a small fight to her left over the only piece of meat left - she heard Konro sigh on her right and the man leaned in to cut the piece in half for the girls. It was a typical morning for them… one she didn’t want to ruin.

“Y/N, you’re not eating.”

“Does your tummy still hurt?”

Turning her head with a quiet hum, Y/N smiled as two pairs of amber eyes looked up at her in a mixture of curiosity and concern, “I’m a little tired,” she reached over to adjust the yellow band in Hinata’s hair, she then leaned further and did the same for Hikage whilst brushing the rice from around their mouths. “I had two drunken idiots wake me up at three in the morning.”

Konro choked a little on his tea, having the decency to at least look embarrassed, “I wasn’t that bad, Y/N…”

“Konro,” the woman started and pointed her chopsticks at him, “You spent the good part of an hour trying to find the cat… a cat that we don’t even have.” Hearing an amused snort from Benimaru she then looked at him with an exasperated glare, “You climbed onto a set of drawers, giggling like a schoolgirl and meowing when he wasn’t looking.”

It would have been hilarious if she hadn’t been feeling like hell already, she had coaxed them into drinking water and then sent them to bed, which meant helping Benimaru get undressed and to sleep.

“Again?” He didn’t use a tone that was disbelieving but there was some sort of accusation that she couldn’t quite place. Benimaru’s eyes narrowed again, scanning her as if that would answer all of his questions and Y/N made herself busy with tidying the table, “You keep saying you feel sick - did you see the doctor like I said to?”

“You were supposed to come with us.” The Captain murmured into his cup, his head was still aching and the corner of his lips occasionally crept up into a smile; the sake still affecting him. “You were talking about it all week.”

And there it was.

Y/N had been waiting for him to pout about her ditching them last minute. They had planned a night out for weeks, it had taken some effort to convince Konro to let loose too and then a few hours before they were going to leave - she pulled out. “I already told you, I felt like I was going to puke.”

“I went last week…” Y/N said without looking at him, “They said I should just take it easy until it passes.” That wasn’t strictly true and it was why Y/N couldn’t look him in the eye. The news from the doctor had been a shock and she had walked out of the appointment in a daze, barely taking notice of anything - to the point she nearly walked into several people. It was going to change everything, it would ruin their family dynamic. She couldn’t imagine telling them that these breakfasts would never be the same again… that Benimaru would have to get used to going out without her.

Feeling her stomach twist a little she got up with the dishes and headed out before they could notice her eyes starting to water.

Just how was her lover going to take the news?

He already had so much going on; he protected the town, he put their Infernals to rest, he spoke with the families that had lost their loved one, he helped put back together the things he broke and Captained the Hikeshi. It had only been recently that he got the confidence to make more decisions without going to Konro first.

She didn’t want to burden him further.

There was already something bothering him too. Sometimes when they were together he would become stiff, his hand wouldn’t hold hers as tightly and several times he had ditched her. He’d say he had to run an errand that she knew he didn’t have and then leave - specifically telling her to stay behind.

It had gotten worse since she had started to throw up a few weeks prior.

At first, he had looked after her, rubbing her back and bringing her plenty to drink afterwards. The man acted aloof most of the time but she knew he had been worried… Maybe he knew. Maybe he was distancing himself so that he wouldn’t get hurt?

The rest of that morning Y/N went about her few tasks, fighting down nausea and worrying about her relationship. The twins had run out of the guardhouse to play once Y/N had checked they’d brushed their teeth and Konro had come to tell her that Shinra from Company 8 was coming for training. That would certainly keep Benimaru busy and she had no doubt he was thinking of ways to put Shinra on edge.

If Shinra was going then she’d need to get more food from the market, for him and Benimaru, they were going to use up plenty of their energy, physically and pyro-kinetically. Whilst going through a mental shopping list Y/N rounded the corned just as someone else did.

The tension was back in his body, she could feel it in the way his arms stiffened around her; there was a palpable feeling of trepidation rolling off of him, “Beni…?”

Trying to stop suddenly and move, Y/N tripped over her own feet and had to grab the wall to stay upright; Benimaru was a little more aware and twisted himself out of the way elegantly. “Since when were you that clumsy?”

“Shut up, Beni,” she huffed and then smirked at him, “The wall was going to attack you - I saved your life.” He rolled his eyes and barely a moment later his hands were at her lower back and hip, steadying her on her feet but lingering after he was sure she wouldn’t fall over. Benimaru was staring at her again, scanning, searching for something so intensely it made her cheeks feel warm and Y/N looked away.

“Hey,” the Captain brushed his hand over her the top of her head until he could pull her head forward to meet his. With their foreheads pressed together, she could feel her heart beating faster and she gently hooked her fingers into his belt, “You feel warm.” Benimaru worried she was hiding something from him, if she was still sick then all she had to do was tell him and he’d get her medicine… or was it worse than that? It was hard to tell if she was too warm because of his own, naturally higher, temperature.

Still, it was nice being close to Y/N and he felt now was probably the best time to talk to her about their relationship - the way things were drifting and changing.

Winding his arms around the base of her back he brought her closer to him, “You need to start being straight with me, I know something’s going on with you and I think maybe you’ve figured out why I’ve been wandering off so often?” She’d be stupid not to realise his attempt to speak with her and his sudden need to do something, anything, to be away from her. “We’ve been together for a while, even as kids we always hung out, it’s getting a little old…”

Opening her eyes, that she hadn’t realised she’d even closed, Y/N met his mismatched eyes, the circle and cross stark over the ruby of his iris’. He looked too serious and if she was honest it was kind of frightening - Did he know?

“I don’t wanna be your boyfri-”

“Captain Shinmon!” Whatever Benimaru had been about to say was drowned out by Shinra rounding the corner and giving one of his ridiculous, formal salutes, “I’m ready for…uh… I… can come back?” The young man looked at the embracing couple and a small blush came to his cheeks, he had disturbed something quite intimate, hadn’t he?

Y/N forced a smile onto her lips and stepped out of Benimaru’s arms, her hands smoothing down her clothes, “Why come back when Beni can beat you to a pulp now?”

“Y/N! It’s training! I’m here for training!” He didn’t always get beaten up, and sure, the woman often patched him up but that didn’t mean he’d gotten beat up.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s Beni handing your ass to you. I’m sure one day you might graze our God of Destruction here!” Her fingers carded into Shinra’s hair and gave it a ruffle as she made to pass him, “Do your best. I’m going to go buy dinner.” Y/N pat him once more and headed further into the guardhouse.

Shinra blinked as he watched after her, he knew fake smiles when he saw one and that had definitely been one. What was going on? Why was she acting that way? He turned to ask the Captain if Y/N was okay but his eyes widened and he froze. The lack of natural light in the hallway made the glowing eyes of the Captain all the more obvious and there was an air of menace about him, all Shinra could do was grin nervously and let out a pathetic, “Sorry?”

x - -

Konro could feel her hands shaking as she treated the back of his left shoulder, the area was one of his worst for pain and sensitivity, he knew she was being as gentle as she could be but as he took a sharp breath in Y/N placed her hand on his bicep and apologised. She hated making this worse for him and Konro was too stubborn to admit it hurt… or rather, too much of a gentleman to tell her. When she had come into his room to replace his bandages he had noticed she had looked ready to burst into tears.

She was never really one to cry for no real reason, he had known her since she was a little kid and regarded her as something of a little sister - so he was more than concerned at how quiet she was, how upset she seemed to be.

Maybe she was still feeling sick?

A small sniff came from behind him and he finally caved, “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” She placed one of the patches from Haijima over the scorched skin of his shoulder blade and taped it carefully in place. A moment of silence later and she tried to tell him in a calm, grown-up way but instead blurted out, “B-Beni’s dumping me!”

He heard a muffled sob and Konro turned around so that he could face her, he placed his hand on her head and pet it gently whilst she cried into her hands, hiding her face from him. There was no way that could be true, absolutely no chance of it, “That’s ridiculous.”

“No, no, he… he-” The words wouldn’t come out.

“Y/N. Take a breath.” Konro was firm with her, his hand now giving her shoulder a little shake, “What happened?”

He glared at the wall at the far end of the training yard for a long moment before sighing loudly, visibly deflating, “And what’s with her napping in the middle of the day and picking at her food and being so sensitive?”

He handed her a clean piece of bandage so that she could wipe her eyes and running nose before waiting patiently for her. “We nearly bumped into each other in the hall and we got to talking… he… he’s been off with me lately, staring at me, running off, trying to say something but then cutting himself off.” It seemed like petty little things but they all added up, “He said… he said, ‘I don’t wanna be your boyfriend’…” Y/N began to cry harder than before, hunching in on herself as she tried to vanish into thin air. “It’s all my fault!” she sobbed, “I’m going to ruin everything! After what the doctor said - I - I’m scared, Konro!” She felt arms around her and went to the man easily, hugging him tight as he tried to calm her. “I’m scared…”

The Lieutenant sometimes forgot that Benimaru and Y/N were still so young, barely out into their twenties. They were both tough, shouldering a lot of responsibility that they shouldn’t have to… Maybe if he’d been stronger they could have relaxed more. “Why are you scared, Y/N? What did the doctor say?” He pulled her away so that he could see her face clearly, “Are you sick?”

x - -

Ruby eyes widened and he nearly spat out his water as Konro told Benimaru about Y/N’s earlier breakdown. The Captain had been taking a break with Shinra when Konro brought them some food and water before telling him about Y/N. “She thinks I’m trying to leave her?!” Benimaru was incredulous at the suggestion, “Are you serious? Is she an idiot?!” How could she think he would even be able to get up in the morning without knowing she was beside him? If anything ever happened to her he would burn the entire Tokyo Empire down if he had to. “Where is she now?”

“She’s sleeping. We kept her up and she’s… she’s got a reason to be exhausted.” Unconsciously he stepped in front of the entrance to prevent Benimaru rushing in to find Y/N. “Look, I know you’re nervous about telling her what you wanna say but you’re freaking her out, Beni.”

“How do I just propose out of the blue? How do I word that shit, Konro?” He blurted out angrily and raked his fingers through his hair, “Stupid Shinra interrupted and she ran off!” Benimaru threw his hand out to point at Shinra who was sat with his mouth open and ramen hanging limply from his chopsticks, feeling overly awkward witnessing the conversation and being blamed. “I’ve been trying for weeks! Every time I open my mouth to ask her I get tense, then I just don’t…”

Konro put his hands on his hips and glanced at Shinra who was trying to pretend he wasn’t there. He knew the answer to Benimaru’s question but it wasn’t for him to say - he had promised to keep it quiet until Y/N was ready. After she had calmed down and finished treating him Konro had told her to go to bed. She was too exhausted and upset to get much done and he was worried about her health too. “You should ask her yourself… sooner rather than later.”

Benimaru’s eyebrows furrowed at the comment, “Oi, Shinra,” he saw the boy jump out of the corner of his eyes, “Finish that up and then I got some errands for you.”

“That’s not training!” He complained loudly

x - -

“Beni…” she could feel her eyes begin to burn with tears and tried harder to pull out of his grasp, “I can’t do this right now, Benimaru. Let go, I need to go!” She felt nauseous, her head was spinning and her stomach was churned as bile started to claw its way up her throat.

Two days passed and nothing had really changed.

Benimaru was still torturing Shinra whilst trying to get a moment alone with Y/N. The woman had been tired lately and by the time he got to bed she was fast asleep, first thing in the morning he would wake up to her throwing up in the adjoining bathroom; it was the first times he was grateful for the perk of not having to share with the whole building.

It was hard to propose to someone who was sleeping, sick or actively avoiding you.

After finishing up a little training with Shinra he headed toward the markets, Benimaru figured she’d be shopping for lunch and catching up with the residents. His eyes swept left to right, searching for her through the busy crowd, “Y/N!” He spotted her at the end of the street heading back towards the Guardhouse, “Oi, I gotta talk to you!” Benimaru shoved past some of the scaffolders fixing another building as he tried to keep an eye on her - he caught up with her and grabbed her wrist, “Didn’t you hear me?” He knew she had and figured she’d been trying to run away from him again.

“Beni,” Y/N tried to pull her hand back, “Let go.”

He refused, “This is important - I’m not putting it off anymore!” He was going to come straight out and say it this time; if anyone interrupted he was going to kill them. “I didn’t wanna do this in the middle of the street but we need to talk.”

“No.” The Captain kept a tight hold and stepped closer, “Y/N, I can’t take it anymore… I wanna- !!” He hadn’t expected her to double over and throw up over his boots; had it been anyone else he would have been angry and shoved them away. Instead, he caught Y/N around the waist as she nearly fell onto her knees. Using one hand to rub her back and moving his body to block her from prying eyes, Benimaru realised she wasn’t running away from him after all. “Sorry…” Benimaru murmured, “I didn’t realise, come on, I’ll take you home.”

When he returned to their room he found her on their futon with the covers over her crossed legs, “Here, it tastes like crap but I hope it helps.”

He left his boots at the door and took her straight to their room, quietly and gently he helped her remove her yukata that she had soiled trying to cover her mouth earlier. He wasn’t put off in the slightest and Benimaru helped clean her up a little before he got her fresh clothes, “Go rinse your mouth and I’ll get you something to help your stomach.”

Guilt gnawed away at him after he had left her to boil the kettle - she must have been so embarrassed to be sick in the street. He hadn’t meant to do that to her…

“Thanks…” They sat in silence, heavy and dense, whilst Y/N took a few sips and mulled over how to tell him - should she tell him? It felt suffocating and then all of a sudden they both looked at each other and spoke.

Another moment of quiet.

“Beni, I’m pregnant.”

“Y/N, marry me.”

“You’re not breaking up with me?”

“A baby?”

“You’ll get what you’re given, Beni.”

Benimaru put his hand over her mouth, “I love you, I’d never break up with you.”

She moved his hand from her mouth with a small frown, “Are you only asking me because you figured out I was pregnant? I don’t want that, I don’t want to hold you back and force you into some dumb honour marriage!”

“I didn’t figure out shit. I just thought you had a bug or something.” Benimaru was a little annoyed with what she was saying but now wasn’t the time for an argument, “I was trying to tell you the other day, this relationship is kinda old now, I’m done with just being your boyfriend and I wanna be your husband. I wanna have the old biddies asking me how my wife is doing… Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

This was a little too much to take in at once and she felt her body getting hot; she was so tired of too many emotions attacking her at once. He loved her and he wanted to be her husband, to stay with her forever and as she looked at him looking at her she felt tears in her eyes threatening to spill over. “I thought you had figured it out… I thought… I thought you wouldn’t want a baby, you already have so much to do and I didn’t want to burden you and - I… I was scared, Beni, I don’t know anything about bab-”

“You’re not a burden.” He cut her off and pulled her onto his lap as he saw her burst into tears, “You say I have too much to do already but you’re the one keeping us all fed and watered. You look after the twins better than anyone and you’re great with kids. You keep me in line, you help Konro… I was hoping we could try for kids in a few years or something but you always were impatient…” The man felt Y/N grumble into his shoulder, wiping her face on his coat, but she sounded better than a moment ago, “I want a girl.”

“Isn’t a wife supposed to be obedient?”

She jabbed him in the ribs and wriggled back a little to half glare at him, “I haven’t agreed to marry you yet.”

This was better, he stroked her cheek with his fingers and smiled as she nuzzled into it, “As if you’d say no - who else you gonna marry here?”

Y/N shrugged and pretended to give it a little thought, “Shinra’s kind of sweet.”

A smirk flashed across Benimaru’s face and he hugged her close again, “Can’t marry him if he’s dead.”

“Can’t marry him if he’s dead.”

It was still a frightening thing, she was having a baby and now she was getting married. Everything was changing and for the first time, Y/N realised it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Then a different thought struck her, “Beni… where is Shinra?”

[aurathian]

Life in a Dead World

My submission for @zelinkweek2021 day 5, prompt Domesticity: Family.

read it here on AO3!

When she gazes at the castle for the first time in one hundred years, when she takes her first good look at it in forever, she sees nothing but despair. Loss. She sees nothing but memories she once held dear, long dead and buried under the rubble. She sees nothing.

He is her guiding hand through this new, foreign world in which she is blind. The way he takes her hand ever so gently and leads her across the stepping stones of the future is comforting, but her steps are uneasy still.

“Zel,” someone calls. “Wake up.” A gentle shake rumbles her shoulder and she turns over to face the voice.

“I’m up,” she manages to say, though hoarsely, and wrenches her eyes open to meet Link’s face. He swipes a finger across her forehead, brushing back stray strands of her sunshine hair. Taking his time studying her face, his blue eyes dart around before settling on her lips. He places a chaste kiss upon them.

Most mornings spent in their house in Hateno Village were like this. She’d be woken up by him saying her name softly, like it’s a prayer, and he’d kiss her before rolling out of bed. He’d make them breakfast, something simple like eggs and rice, and then he would head out to the fields for work. She’d stay curled up inside, reading books on their bed and tinkering with whatever ancient scraps Link found on his adventures.

Zelda doesn’t really like the mornings. The sun rises and casts its bright rays on everything ugly in the world and the daytime forces her to face it. She remembers her last sunrise before the Calamity, though the memory is blurry and faded now. It was a quiet morning when she was sent on her way to the Spring of Wisdom to offer her final prayer to the Goddess Hylia, full of apprehension and fear—fears she fulfilled.

On this day, however, he makes pancakes topped with berries he had picked after work the day before. He serves her orange juice in one of the fancy glasses they reserve for company—though they never get visitors anyway—and sets the table nice, with placemats and flowers in the center.

“What’s the occasion?” she asks, finally lured downstairs by the sweet smells and clattering utensils. Sliding into the chair across from him, she takes up her fork and digs in.

“Nothing special,” he replies nonchalantly with a raise of his brows, but she can feel his gaze on her as he takes a sip of his own juice. Zelda is able to indulge in a few more bites of soft, buttery pancake before he speaks again.

“Will you come into town with me today?” he requests, his hand drifting across the table to gingerly grasp hers.

“That’s what the occasion is, then,” she mumbles bitterly. Her appetite is lost and she sets the fork down. “You know I can’t.”

The few times she stepped foot into Hateno Village, the few times she saw the faces of the men and women and children walking through town and living, she turned around and went back to their house on the edge of the village. Link would follow suit some time later and find her gripping the photo of them and the Champions, staining its glass cover with tears.

The village is bright and lively. He tries to make her see the good, but she is blinded by memories.

“Why not?” he prods, taking a step into where he’d never dared to go before, opening the door to her heart just a little more.

“You know why.” Her voice is shaky now. “When I look at them—when I see their faces, they… they remind me of the people I killed all those years ago.”

“You didn’t kill anyone.” His tone is the opposite of hers; certain and sure, and his foot is planted steady in the doorway now. Though his memories are few, they are vivid with color and life and they feel real each time he relives them, whether in his dreams or by traveling to the places he uncovered them in the first place.

“Killing isn’t just about who you strike with your blade, Link,” she scolds. “It’s about what you fail to do that causes their deaths.” Her hands rest now in her lap, leaving his empty and open atop the table. “In my case, I failed to awaken my power in time.”

“But they’re not the people you killed.”

“They look like ordinary citizens. People, innocent people, going about their lives. The very people affected by my incompetence.”

“But—”

“There is no reason for me to go into the village anyway.”

Link sits back in his chair. “Why?” he breathes. The door is closing and he’s fighting to keep it open now.

“Hyrule is dead,” Zelda says plainly. “It died long ago, with all those people. When I looked upon the castle, when we were traveling back here through ruin after ruin, I saw no life.”

“There’s life right outside our house,” he counters.

“We have experienced two different kingdoms, Link.” She stands from her chair and wanders to the stairs, fingers lingering over the banister. “You do not remember my Hyrule. In comparison, this land is dead.” The conversation is over. She walks up the stairs without a word and he can hear her shuffle into bed. Then, it’s silent.

—

He tries again the next morning. This time, he coaxes her outside with the promise of a morning spent picking the flowers growing in their yard. It’s peaceful and they can’t hear the sounds of Hateno Village from their quaint house across the bridge, and he watches her face as she plucks the white flowers from the ground. Her eyes are lidded and mouth curved into a small smile.

He wishes he could show those grass green eyes the beauty of the Hyrule he knows, from its snowy mountaintops to its humid jungles; wishes she could meet the people who helped him along his journey, the people he considers Champions of this new age.

When he’s accrued plenty of flowers in his basket, he calls out to her, “Hey Zel, come here!”

She crawls over, bringing her own basket alongside her. “What?”

“What do you want to do with all these flowers?”

She hums, then says, “I don’t know.” Pulling one out of her basket, she twirls it around by the stem.

“I was thinking we could go into the village and give them to the children,” he offers, standing up and holding out his hand.

“Is that what this was all about?”

“Well…”

She scowls, taking her basket and marching toward the house. He winces as the front door slams shut behind her.

Link, however, is persistent, and if he has anything, it’s the audacity. Every day he tries something new to get her to go into the village with him—getting water from the river, buying a new dress, even visiting Purah at the lab—but each attempt is turned down by her.

“I can do my own research right here from my bed,” she argues when he suggests visiting Purah. Never in his lifetime did he think he would witness Princess Zelda of Hyrule, ancient Sheikah tech extraordinaire and science nerd, turn down an opportunity to go study at a laboratory.

Then, one day, something strange happens. He leaves the house to go work in the fields like usual, bringing along a pitchfork and his lunch. He lets Zelda stay in the house to eat her breakfast and read her books. As he’s walking down the trail from his house, over the bridge and into the new developments that continue to creep ever closer to them, a hand grabs his sleeve.

“Zelda?” he asks when he sees her. “But I thought…”

“I don’t appreciate how often you tried to trick me,” she interjects, “but I did some thinking, and I want to try.”

He’s looking at her like she’s crazy, one eyebrow up and his mouth popped open.

“Please?” she begs.

Taking her hand into his, he nods, and together they walk into the village.

—

Zelda finds a comfortable spot on the edge of the well, legs dangling off the side and face shielded from the bright sun. She sits there, watching the children of the village run around and play, swinging at each other with sticks and throwing pebbles, while Link is off working in one of the farm fields. There are women behind the well gossiping a little loudly for her liking, but after a few hours she manages to tune them out.

One of the children approaches her grinning, missing teeth and all. Zelda’s world stops for a moment, forced to recall the faces of the children she aided in killing. She remembers running through Kakariko Village, drenched and dirty, and seeing the agonizing faces of the village youth while she desperately searched for Impa. She remembers the bodies—Goddesses, the bodies—both young and old, strewn across the cobblestone streets of Castle Town. Of all the memories she can visualize the best, it has to be that one.

“Hello, miss,” the child greets with a slight lisp.

Her world unpauses and she swallows hard, forcing herself to look into the child’s eyes. “Hello,” she replies.

“What’s your name? I’ve never seen you before.” There’s a booger under the child’s nose and a leaf in his hair.

“My name is Zelda.”

She’s staring at this child she’s never met before, with his big round eyes and missing teeth, and she pays special attention to the sound of his breath and the rise and fall of his chest. This child is alive, she knows, yet she can’t help but think of all the children whose blood stains her hands.

“Woah!” His eyes widen and his mouth drops open in shock. “Like the princess?”

“I suppose,” she sighs. In reality, she hates the title. It stings like a thorn even when it’s just an echo inside her head. Hearing the word forces her to recall the countless tales and rumors spread about her through the castle halls one hundred years ago, of her failures and incompetence.

“My mom has told me all sorts of stories about the princess! Like how pretty and nice she was.” Scowling, he crosses his arms. “Though my mom wasn’t alive then, so I don’t know how she knows that.”

“What are some other stories she’s told you?” Zelda raises a brow and leans in curiously. Does her memory survive on a different breath in this new Hyrule? For all intents and purposes, she doesn’t recognize herself from one hundred years ago as truly her. When people speak of the princess, they speak of a woman long dead.

“I don’t remember all of them, but she’s behind the well you’re sitting on. You could ask her.”

She glances back and winces. “Um, I think I’d rather have you tell me.” Zelda hops off the edge of the well and kneels down in front of the child. “What’s your name?”

“My name is Nebb,” he says. “Say, I don’t remember much about the princess, but I can tell you about this one guy I know.”

“Sure,” she replies, sitting on the ground next to Nebb.

“There was this traveler who came by our village a lot,” he begins, “and I asked him to show me a ton of weapons! I don’t know how he was able to find all of them, though. I think he lives in the old house outside of town.”

Zelda hums, resting her head in her hands. She thinks of Link, of the various weapons on display in their house, and there’s no doubt in her mind that she knows exactly who Nebb is talking about.

“I might know him,” she says.

“Really?” Nebb shouts. “He’s so cool, isn’t he? I’ve seen him totally demolish the Bokoblins that come too close to the village before.”

“He’s very cool,” she agrees, trailing off as a little girl approaches them. “And who is this?”

“I’m Narah!” says the little girl. “This is my brother.” She gestures to Nebb and he groans before running away to go play.

“Well, Narah, I’m Zelda.”

“I like to talk,” Narah states. “Ask me some questions!”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one asking them.”

Zelda can’t help but laugh. It’s a bright and healthy laugh, one that enraptures Link as he approaches her, sweaty from a day in the field.

“Someone’s enjoying herself,” he chuckles, helping Zelda stand from the ground. Narah gets bored with the attention no longer on her and chases after her brother.

“The children are very sweet,” Zelda admits. “Apparently people share stories about me.”

“They do,” he says. “They’re nothing like the stories you heard all those years ago.”

“What do you mean?”

Her steps as they walk back to the house are more confident, and her grip on his hand is sure.

“I know how people talked about you back then, Zelda. I figured it out through my memories.” He pushes the door open for her, setting his pitchfork against the outside wall before stepping inside. “But these people… they look up to you. You’re a beacon of light to them.”

“But I didn’t do the one thing I was supposed to,” she argues. “They don’t look up to me. They look up to the princess of a century ago.”

“They know you as that princess—that princess who valiantly sacrificed herself to the Calamity to prevent it from reaching their homes. You are what kept Hyrule alive all this time.”

“I’m not a princess anymore,” she mumbles, climbing up the stairs. “It’s just Zelda now. Besides, they don’t even know I’m her. We are two different people now, Link.”

He says nothing, only steps up to the kitchen counter and rummages through the cupboard.

“What do you want for dinner?”

—

She ventures into Hateno Village with him every day now, sitting at her usual spot along the edge of the well and talking to the village children. They are healing, she finds, with their wide smiles and innocent, naive eyes. After some days, she starts playing with them, chasing them around the village and tossing balls back and forth.

She would give anything to go back in time and have the childhoods they have. To frolic in the outdoors, to have both parents, to play and wish and dream and be a child. If Zelda wasn’t so wary of the statues of the Goddess Hylia, she would pray at them once more, pray for a real childhood.

One day, she finally talks to the mothers behind the well. Or, rather, they talk to her.

“Miss,” one of them prods, “why do you come watch our children everyday?”

“Oh, um.” Zelda fiddles with her fingers. “They’re very sweet.”

The women exchange strange glances. “You’re not trying to snatch up my little boy, are you?”

“No! Of course not, no,” Zelda hastily replies. “Nebb introduced himself to me. I enjoy playing with the children.”

The women still aren’t satisfied, and she can tell, so she asks, “What’s it like to be a mother?”

“Oh, it’s something, alright,” the woman with her brown hair tied up groans. “Every day is a struggle. Wake up, get ready, yes, you do have to finish all your veggies!”

Zelda smiles a little but wonders if it is really so much of a struggle to gossip behind the well every day.

“But there are times where I relish it,” the other one pipes up. “My children gave me a purpose when I had none.” A dreamy look casts itself upon her eyes. “They are my pride and joy, as difficult as they can be. My guiding lights, so to speak.”

And something clicks inside Zelda’s mind.

Link picks her up again at the well, sweaty and hot and tired as he normally is after a long day of moving hay and harvesting crops, and as they walk over the bridge to their house she stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looks over to her, frowning with concern.

“Link, I want a child,” she states, and his jaw drops.

Normally, he would try to keep her out of bed for as long as possible. That night, however, he wastes no time in helping her into it.

And so their life continues on exactly like that—days spent working or playing with the village children, rubbing her belly in the hopes she may have one too, nights spent panting in bed, kissing, hot and sweaty and intimate. They’re not strangers to making love, but they are new to doing so with a purpose.

Zelda is suspicious when she misses her period, but what solidifies her hypothesis is when she wakes up one morning with a sick feeling in her stomach before leaping out of bed and rushing outside to dispose of last night’s dinner all over the grass. Link awakens only moments later, finding her outside hunched over and gripping one of the house’s posts. He holds her hair back while she retches some more.

“Zelda…?”

She can only look back at him and smile, nearly laughing with joy, before jumping up to hug him.

“I still don’t get it,” he says while she peppers kisses all over his face.

“Link, I missed my period a while ago,” she explains, finding her footing on the grass. “And feeling sick in the morning, throwing up… do you not know what it means?”

His face contorts in thought, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched. His blue eyes drift off to something in the distance as he racks his brain for a possible conclusion.

Zelda whispers into the ear of her lover, “I’m pregnant.”

She can’t see his face light up because he hugs her so tight she’s struggling to breathe, but she lets it happen. Her wish, her one prayer she had ever bothered to offer to the Goddess after the defeat of the Calamity, comes true.

—

The nine months go by like a breeze, her bump growing week by week, having to stay home and rest more often because of it, but she’s happy. She spends her evenings in the rocking chair Link constructed for her, singing to her belly as she rubs it with her soft hands. Her cravings get weirder, too. One week, she’s asking for delicious fruitcake, and the next, she’s asking for soup but instead of meat, it’s monster parts.

Still, Link obliges, going out and picking (or slaying) whatever he needs to to satisfy her. Eventually, the doctor they visit in the village has to start coming to them when it becomes too backbreaking for Zelda to walk, and by some will of the Goddess, the doctor is present when she goes into labor on a rainy autumn morning.

Even as she’s pushing and screaming and grunting, Zelda thinks Hylia must be apologizing, because according to the doctor, it was one of the easiest deliveries he’s ever assisted with. He hands Zelda her baby, wailing and wriggling, small and pale, with a head of soft, thin hair, colored like Link’s. The doctor leaves them alone, lingering downstairs in case anything else needs to be done.

Link kneels by the bedside, watching as Zelda coos at the baby and pokes at her tiny hands. “What will we name her?” she asks him.

“Do you have any ideas?”

She hums, but her eyes never leave the baby. “I would like to name her Impa,” she says.

“I think that’s a great name.” His voice is a whisper now, quiet and hushed as he marvels at the sight of Zelda and their child, and for the first time in a long while, his beloved’s green eyes shine once more.

She smiles down at her baby, because even in a Hyrule she thought long dead, new life still prospers.

[angelicyoongie]

desolate (2)

— summary: you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so, you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.

— pairing: cat hybrid yoongi x  reader

— genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut

— word count: 2.9k

— tag list: @mrcleanheichou​ , @ladymidnightt​ Part one Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten (M) Part eleven Part twelve Part thirteen Part fourteen (M)

A sharp tone rips you out of your dreams, your alarm screeching at the top of its lungs to make you get up. You groan, fumbling around before you find your phone to turn it off. You look at your screen through bleary eyes, annoyed that you forgot to turn off your alarm considering it’s a Saturday and you absolutely do not have to wake up at 6.30 am today.

You huff, throwing your phone further down your bed and turning over to go back to sleep. The noise startled you enough that you can still feel your heart racing, and even though you doubt you’ll be able to slip back into the dream you had, you can still take a few minutes more to just rest.

You stare at the sunlight that has started peeking through the gaps in your curtains, everything still a little hazy from the vivid dream you had. But the more you look out in your room, the more the golden eyes and black soft fur you thought was only a dream starts melting away and the day before comes rushing back.

You actually adopted a cat! Your stomach does a funny flip, excitement rushing through your veins as you quickly sit up in bed. The floor is cold as you plant your feet on the ground, and you hurry over to your closet with a grimace.

In a few weeks it’ll become too cold to have the heater off, and you already dread how high your electricity bills are going to become in the following months. But it’s either that or freezing to death, and frankly with your busy schedule, you don’t have time for that. You throw on a hoodie and some sweatpants, happy that the only thing on your agenda today is just lazing around the apartment.

You hurry to your bedroom door after tugging on some thick socks to ward off the cold, only pausing for a short second to take a deep breath before opening it. You didn’t know what you were expecting, but finding your kitty lying directly outside of your door definitely wasn’t it.

You freeze, foot caught mid-air as you stare down at the black ball of fur curled up on the floor. You carefully set your foot down again, clutching the doorframe as you slowly slide down to a crouch. He's so fluffy and cute that your legs wobble, and you have to put a hand down on the floor to keep from toppling over your cat.

You wince as the cold seeps into your fingertips, and you don’t like the thought of your kitty sleeping on it. What if he gets sick? Can cats get sick? You’re not sure, but you don’t want to find out either.

“Kitty?” You murmur, watching as one ear twitches in your direction. You reach out slowly, hand hovering over the furry body hesitantly. You want to touch him, but the band-aids along your forearm serves as a reminder of how much he didn’t like that last night.

“Kitty?” You try again, and this time, golden eyes slide open at your voice. You let out a small coo as it blinks slowly, obviously still sleepy. You figure it might be safe to touch it now that it’s awake, but the moment you fingers inch closer it hisses, golden eyes suddenly wide and alarmed before it quickly scampers under the couch again.

You sigh, pushing yourself up to get some breakfast. You desperately want to cuddle and coddle your new cat, but it’s obvious that it needs space and time, and you need to respect that. Owning pets isn’t always sunshine and butterflies and you figure it probably had a rough life on the streets before you picked it up. It was alone in a shelter, after all.

You change out the water in the bowl you put out for your cat the night before, a frown settling on your face as you realize the dry food you got from Yeonjun hasn’t been touched. You sprinkle some more kibble on just in case, hoping that the fresh bits might smell good and entice your cat to eat something.

It’s still early and you’re feeling a little too lazy to make anything, so you decide that today’s breakfast will be yesterday's leftovers. You bring your meal to the couch, placing the plate with rice and chicken on the coffee table in front of it. You hear a low grumble from underneath the couch as you take a step closer, and you decide that maybe delaying getting your feet mauled for another minute is okay as you run back to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

You don’t like the thought of being scared of your own cat, but you figure he’s probably way more scared than you are, and so you just need to suck it up for a while. You gasp as you round the corner, shocked to find your cat eating away at a chicken breast on your plate.

“Kitty!” You rush forward, scared that he’s eating something he isn’t supposed to and hoping to stop him, but your cat is back under the couch before you even reach the table. There’s an obvious gap on your plate from the missing chicken your cat brought with it under the couch, but from the sounds of it, it seems like your cat was starving.

You can hear the hurried bites from where you’re standing, and your heart aches a little at the thought of it being so hungry. Despite your better judgement, you quickly grab another breast from your plate before you can second-guess yourself. Placing it close to the edge of the couch on the floor, you snatch your fingers back just as a black paw comes out and swipes the food in.

You tentatively sit down on the couch, perching on the edge so that your legs are as far away as they can be. Your cat seems to be too busy eating to notice your presence, or maybe it just doesn’t care as long as you bring it food, but you’re nearly all the way done with your meal before you hear a soft hiss from underneath you again.

“I’m done soon kitty,” You mutter, shoving the rest of the food into your mouth before you hurry off into the kitchen with your plate. You know you still have a long way to go before your cat starts to like you, but it still feels like a small victory.  

.

“He hates me,” You groan as you slump down in your chair, Jihyo’s bright eyes staring at your over her computer screen.

“Who? Your cat?” She tilts her head, a small frown on her face as she takes in your tired appearance. You didn’t sleep well all weekend.

You felt terrible for making your cat scared, and so you tried to steer clear of the couch as much as possible. But you also realized you needed to make your presence known if he was ever going to get used to you - so you spent the weekend feeling guilty for both staying away and staying close.

“Yeah,” You mutter as you blow a stubborn piece of hair away from your face.

“It probably just needs some time to adjust ..” She trails off, but you can see the words on the tip of her tongue forming already.

“Don’t–” You start, but Jihyo interrupts you.

“This is why you should’ve gotten a hybrid! It would never be so mean to you,” She pouts. You take a deep breath, trying to push down the annoyance that wants to bubble up and explode.

You love Jihyo and she’s one of your closest friends, but she doesn’t really share the same reality as you. She has money, and you don’t. And while it sounds trivial, it’s enough to create a rift in situations like these where she just doesn’t get it. You don’t have money for a hybrid. Period.

“Jihyo. Let it rest,” You grumble, tone serious and eyes narrowed as you stare her down. She opens her mouth, but seems to think twice and clamps it shut instead.

“Fine,” She huffs. She lets you work in peace until lunch, but you can tell she’s practically bursting with the need to say something as she tugs you inside the lunchroom. It’s empty, you two usually taking your break a little earlier than everybody else just to get some privacy when you eat and talk.

You’ve barely taken a bite of your sandwich when Jihyo sighs dramatically, eyes wide as she throws her arms out across the table.

“I know I’ve only had Sana for three days, but if something happens to her I’m going to kill everybody and then myself,” You roll your eyes, but can’t help but smile at how fond Jihyo seems to be already.

“Stop being so dramatic,” You snort. A man quietly makes his way inside the break room; you think you vaguely recognize him as being one of the IT guys in your department.

His eyes grow wide as your eyes meet, and he hurries off to the little kitchen in the corner of the room with his head hung low when you give him a small nod as a greeting. Jihyo seems obvious, too busy dreamily staring out of the window behind you as she continues.

“Sana is so cute. She’s so happy and cuddly,” She gushes, quickly bringing out her phone to show you some of the pictures she took over the weekend. You two have been texting of course, but you knew she wanted to talk about it in more detail over lunch.

“She even picked out her own collar! Look!” You see the IT guy slip out the kitchen as you take Jihyo’s phone, paying him no mind as you smile at the picture of her Pomeranian hybrid.

“Aww, how adorable,” You can’t help but grin, happy that your friend found someone she enjoys spending her time with.

“Y/N!” Jihyo suddenly exclaims, “Maybe I can bring Sana over on Friday? She’s been dying to see you again,” You mull it over for a second.

You do really want to see Sana and Jihyo, and since your cat pretty much lives under the couch you’re sure an hour or two will be fine. Sana seems to sweet and quiet that you don’t think it’ll be much of a problem even if she is a dog hybrid.

“Sure!” You agree, happy to spend some more time with your friend.  

.

The moment you step inside your apartment after work, you’re sure you see a black tail hurry around the corner.

“I’m home!” You call out, but the silence that greets you feels heavy and uninviting, and you suddenly feel more alone than what you did before when you were actually by yourself. You quickly shed your shoes and your coat, briefly slipping into your bedroom to pull on some more comfortable clothes.

You’re hungry; the lunch you brought today definitely wasn’t enough to keep you sated until work was over. You quickly fry up some vegetables and meat, mindful to keep away from any seasoning. Your cat has made it clear it’s not eating the cat food Yeonjun gave you, and so you’ve been letting it eat some of your own food until you can get him something else.

Once you’re sure the meat has cooled down enough, you slip some on to a plate, bringing it into the living room. You’re about to place it down under the couch when you hesitate. If you keep doing this you’re sure it’s only going to get harder to get to know your cat, and that’s not what you want to happen.

So you carefully place it a little further away, so that your cat needs to take a few steps out to eat it. You hurry out to the kitchen to grab your own plate, and when you return, you find your cat halfway out from under the couch, golden eyes trained on you as he eats.

“I’ll stay over here kitty. Take your time,” You make sure to sit on the other side of the couch, giving you cat some space while still being close. You turn on the TV, getting more and more absorbed in the show as your dinner grows colder.

You eat absentmindedly, the plot too interesting to tear your eyes away from. So it comes as a surprise when you move your hand to pick up your fork, but your fingers come into contact with soft fluffy fur instead.

You eyes snap down in panic as you find your cat looking up at you with wide eyes, a piece of meat caught between its teeth. Your fingers twitch involuntarily at the feel of fur against them, and the motion seems to remind your cat suddenly as to why it doesn’t like you.

Its ears flatten against its skull, and you can practically see the murder written in his eyes before he jumps down and crawls under the couch again. You don’t realize you were even holding your breath until your lungs start burning, and you drop your outstretched hand into your lap as you gulp down air.

You stay in the living room for a little while more, ignoring the disgruntled noises coming from the floor as you finish your show.

“Night kitty,” You say as you turn off the lights, hurrying down the hallway to your room and closing the door behind you. You can still feel the brush of fur against your fingers even after you’ve gone to bed, a small smile tugging at your lips.

Even if touching him was an accident, he has still started to feel comfortable enough around you to take the risk to steal your food, and that has to count for something.

.

Nothing really changes between you and your black menace until Thursday evening. You have been tiptoeing around your apartment all week, apparently the cat’s mood has only soured after you accidentally touched it, and you have no idea how to make it better.

It’s grown colder outside as well, and you can only hope that your cat at least sleeps on top of the couch when you’re not there. You’ve taken to laying out some blankets on the floor, just in case. Work today was particularly exhausting, and curling up on the couch with a blanket and some mindless television watching sounds like dream come true. So that’s exactly what you do as soon as you get home and finish dinner.

You’re skipping through channels until you find something mildly interesting - a documentary on hybrids. The narrators voice is soothing, and it doesn’t take long before you start drifting off, feeling comfortable and full after your dinner. You vaguely listen as the soft-spoken voice tells you about hybrids habits, almost lulled completely to sleep before you feel the slight dip in the cushion near your feet.

You’re so far gone that you barely pay it any notice, not even when you feel the presence getting closer and closer. You’re on your back, head tilted to the side as you watch the TV through half-lidded eyes as something steps on your stomach.

The blanket you have over you is so thick you can barely feel it, but you catch a dark mass out of the corner of your eye. He thinks I’m asleep, you realize, just as you suddenly feel a weight drop down on your body.

You don’t move, afraid that you’ll scare him now that he finally seems to have gained some confidence and trust in you. Your neck is starting to cramp from the awkward position, but you refuse to move, opting to just watch him get comfortable out of the corner of your eye.

You count to two hundred in your head after the moving stops, and turn your head the slightest bit just to make some of the pain go away. Golden eyes blink open immediately, staring you down as you look back at your cat.

“Comfy?” You ask, slowly reaching your hand to see if he'll let you pet him. You feel claws digging into the fabric despite the thickness when he notices your hand, a hiss rumbling in his chest until you drop it back down.

“No touching. Got it,” You mumble, somehow feeling a little chastised. You almost feel shy having him so close, especially when your cat won’t stop looking at your face, almost as if he’s scrutinizing it. But that’s ridiculous, you decide, he’s just a cat.

Any trace of sleep is long gone by now, but you cat however, seems to be growing tired of his staring game, eyes slowly slipping closed with each breath you take. You can still see that he’s a little tense, but just the fact that he’s here, on top of you, warms your heart.

You watch him rest until you feel your own eyelids become heavy again. You know your back will kill you tomorrow if you sleep here, but you don’t want to wake up your kitty, not when you can provide him with some warmth. So, you fall asleep with a lighter heart than you have had in days, hopeful that maybe this will turn out better than you first thought.

Oh, if only you knew what you really had gotten yourself into.  

- - - - Hello! Hope you enjoyed the second chapter of desolate! Next chapter will be Jihyo and Sana coming over to visit you and your kitty, which said black fluffball might not be so happy about .. Not when he’s just starting to warm up to you.

OT7 version is coming soon as well, so keep your eyes peeled for that :) Thank you all for the lovely feedback on the first chapter, it made me really excited to continue working on this! My inbox is always open if you want to chat about the story or just fics or life in general! See you all soon!

[amyscascadingtabs]

rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky

It’s the perfect little getaway, exactly what they needed. It would be even better if she could only stop thinking.

“So, tell me.” Jake holds her hand over the table, forcing her back to reality. “Five top moments for us 2019, go. Countdown-stylez.”

Three different New Year's Eves, as celebrated by Jake and Amy (and Mac).

read on ao3 💕

december 31st, 2019.

The hotel guests checking in before Jake and Amy are a family. A little girl with blonde hair, maybe four or five years old, is carrying her own pink backpack and making up dance steps around her father’s feet as he goes through the information with the receptionist, and an even younger boy is hiding behind his mother’s legs as he watches the people in the lobby with wide eyes. Looking up, Amy realizes that the mother’s open coat is revealing a baby bump, too. She’d put her at six, maybe seven months pregnant. Three kids. Amy feels a pang of jealousy.

Even with the observation skills of an experienced detective, it shocks her how good she’s become at picking out families and pregnant women in any crowd. It’s an interesting talent, but measured against the pain it causes her, Amy wouldn’t call it a very useful one. She notices Jake looking at the kids as well, a daydreaming look on his face, and somehow, that makes her pain worse.

The idea behind going away to a hotel upstate for New Year’s was so they could get away from the stress for a moment; go somewhere else, rest and relax, forget about the pregnancy master calendar they’ve stared themselves blind at for a few days. Amy didn’t realize how impossible it would be to get away from all the other reminders.

She draws a breath of relief when the family in front of them gets the keys to their room, the little girl running first towards the elevator and her brother laughing as he chases after.

“Cute kids,” Jake whispers, watching them longingly.

“Yeah.” Amy tries not to think about the negative pregnancy test she threw away in the bathroom trashcan before they left. “Really cute.”

//

“I’m excited you said we could drink tonight.” Jake toasts his White Russian with her glass of Sauvignon. “It’s been a while.”

“I know, “ Amy feels the guilt wash over her. “Well, it’s not New Year’s Eve every day. I think we’ve earned it.” And I already took a negative test, she thinks.

“We sure have.” He gives her a closer look, pressing his lips together like he always does when he’s worried about her. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Just tired,” she says. It’s not technically a lie. “I didn’t sleep that well last night.”

“Lucky we have a huge hotel bed to help with that tonight, then. Seriously, this place rocks.”

Amy’s prepared to agree on that part – she did her research the moment it stood clear they would both get New Year’s Eve off. After getting their room, they’ve spent the evening getting massages in the hotel spa, dining at the surprisingly nice restaurant, and now they’re admiring the view from the bar on the top floor, waiting for the fireworks. It’s the perfect little getaway, exactly what they needed. It would be even better if she could only stop thinking.

“So, tell me.” Jake holds her hand over the table, forcing her back to reality. “Five top moments for us 2019, go. Countdown-stylez.”

“Number five!” She rolls the r and holds on the i, earning herself an amused look from the older couple next to them. “Okay, I’m going to go with… that date you took me on for my birthday. I can��t believe you got into the puzzle bar this time!”

“I might have convinced the guard to let me in because it was your birthday, but still a good one. Number fooo-uur… the Cinco de Mayo-heist. God, that was fun, even if the tasing hurt like a bitch.”

“Agreed. Number three – when Holt finally invited us to that dinner party and I almost didn’t lose my cool once.”

“You keep telling yourself that, babe. Number two… the Jake way. Seriously, I still think we should try that again. It was awesome.”

“It was, but also way inappropriate,” she reminds him, but he just shrugs. “Number one, then.”

“I know which one is mine, but you go first.”

Amy swallows, then sighs. “Mine is after the manhunt. When we decided to start trying. That’s still my favorite moment.”

“Mine, too.” Jake looks her in the eyes, and she knows the bittersweet feeling is shared. “It’s going to happen, Ames. I know it. Maybe this month’s the one.”

Amy doesn’t have the strength to correct him, tell him she’s already taken an early test and that she’s lacking any confidence there’s going to be a second line when she tests again in a couple of days. Luckily, she doesn’t have to, because right then, the fireworks that have been going off a few at a time in the distance begin to multiply as the countdown starts.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four…

Amy leans forward so she can be kissing him already when the new year begins.

Three, two, one… happy new year!

The crowd around them erupts into cheers as the sky glows with colorful explosions when burning bits of metal lighting up the darkness outside. Jake kisses her deeper, seeming to forget that there are people around with a bit of alcohol in his system and his hands cupping her face. For a moment, Amy lets herself just be happy.

~

december 31st, 2020.

The instant Amy closes her eyes for the more-than-well-deserved nap Jake told her to take while he made dinner, Mac begins to cry from his crib again.

“McClane, please,” Amy pleads, as if reasoning with her two-month-old would solve his discontent. “You can't seriously be hungry again, that’s insane.”

She tries with the pacifier first, checking his diaper, even standing up and walking around with him for a bit to eliminate anything else, but Mac is still clenching his fists and only looking even more furious with her, so Amy gives in. She sits down with him again, unhooks one side of the bra and lets him find his grip, exhaling when the peaceful suckles begin and the desperate crying finally ceases. She swears it looks like her son is side-eyeing her for taking too long, but to her defense, she fed him for a good forty-five minutes only a little over an hour ago and it's exhausting being used like a human pacifier. Growth spurt, Camila Santiago said when Amy called her in tears yesterday, and the problem-shooting section in the 0-3 months baby-binder had agreed. Amy would argue that sounds way too innocent for something which is turning her otherwise happy and smiley baby into a constantly hungry and crying mini-monster who won't close his eyes for more than twenty minutes at a time.

There's a soft knock on the door after a few minutes, and Jake peeks in. He’s wearing his fancy kitchen apron, which Charles gave him for Christmas with the comment that there’s nothing sexier than a dad who can cook. It hasn’t magically improved his cooking skills, but Amy’s willing to admit that it does look good on him.

“You guys doing okay?”

“He is, for now. I’m going crazy. How’s our dinner going?”

“Well, I haven’t burnt it yet, but there’s still time,” he grimaces, sitting down at the foot of the bed. “Do you need anything, babe?”

“Sleep, but that’s not going to happen.” Amy rubs her eyes. “It’s fine. He’s got to fall asleep at some point, though, this is nuts.”

“Don’t challenge him, he’s breaking records,” Jake says, leaning forward to tickle Mac’s feet. Mac reacts by kicking at the boob he’s not currently feeding from, making Amy curse. “Oops, sorry. Anyway, I’m sure he will fall asleep at some point, and we can have a nice, calm New Year’s dinner. I mean, he has to be exhausted, right?”

“God, I hope so. I’m starving.” She can see Mac’s eyelids getting heavy, but every time she thinks they’re about to fall closed, it’s like he twitches and stares at her, wide awake. “He’s lucky he’s cute.”

Jake grins. “Lucky indeed.”

Mac starts pulling away at that moment, a little bit of milk still dribbling from his cheeks. Amy reaches for one of the muslin blankets that’s never more than a few feet away in their home nowadays, lifting him so he’s upright against her shoulder and patting him on the back. She expects a burp, but instead, she gets an unpleasant surprise when he spits up, managing to get sour baby puke down her back and in her already greasy hair. She groans, giving Jake an exhausted look when she sees him stifling a chuckle.

“Hey, I’ll take him. You go take a shower and I’ll put him in the BabyBjörn. Maybe that will do it.”

“That’s the hottest thing you’ve ever said,” Amy mumbles, and she’s not entirely kidding.

She makes the shower as long as she possibly can. Most days, she has to shower with Mac in the baby bouncer on the bathroom floor, so even the chance to be alone in the bathroom for more than five minutes feels like a luxury. She lets the shampoo really lather and the conditioner take its time to sink in, trying to massage the knots in her neck and shoulders under the hot water. She can hear Mac still fussing from the kitchen, and it makes her feel guilty even though he’s barely left her arms today.

“He’s fine,” she whispers to herself like a mantra. “He’s fine. Jake can handle it. He’s perfectly fine. Everything’s okay. You deserve this.”

She still skips the make-up and nicer clothes she had been planning to put on, throwing on a pair of maternity leggings and one of Jake’s old hoodies instead.

The dinner looks fantastic, some sort of chicken baked in the oven with rice and a lemon sauce, and Amy’s actually impressed. She imagines it would have been even nicer if she could have eaten it warm and together with Jake, but they only make it through toasting in orange soda and the first two bites before Mac wakes up from his ten-minute-nap, wailing as if he truly believed he’d just been abandoned. They end up having to take turns eating and walking laps around the living room with him, because he starts crying again if they stop moving for a second or as much as make an attempt to put him down. Amy is suddenly relieved they said no to her brother Tony’s New Year’s party-invite.

She can barely believe it when after what feels like the fiftieth or so feed of the day, Mac falls asleep. Curled up like a little frog on her chest and letting out the cutest of baby snores, he finally seems to relax, and Amy doesn’t even dare to breathe too sharply for the first ten minutes. Eventually, though, once it seems like he’s not going to wake up from the slightest movement or a raised voice anymore, Jake tucks them both in under a blanket and gets the Ben and Jerry’s from the freezer and orange soda from the fridge. Then he gets another blanket for himself, and they snuggle up together in the corner of the sofa in front of the tv. From live footage at Times Square, Amy can see crowds of people waiting for the ball to drop.

“Wishing you were there?” Jake winks, but she just laughs.

“Are you kidding? Cold, crowded, and you can never even get a good view. This is better in every way.” She strokes her thumb over Mac’s dark hair. “I have this one and you. That’s all I need. And ice cream,” she adds, digging out a piece of cookie dough from the tub.

“You’re right, it’s pretty damn close to perfection. Top five moments of 2020?”

Amy shakes her head, pointing to Mac. “No point. They’re all about him, anyway, and they’re all too good to compare.”

“True that.” Jake shakes his head. “Hey, isn’t it crazy that although he’s been kind of a nightmare today, I’ve already forgiven him?”

“No, it makes perfect sense, because I’ve almost wanted to give him away several times and now I can’t even remember why.”

“Having a baby makes us kind of crazy, huh?”

“Oh, absolutely. I wouldn’t change it for the world, though.”

“Me neither. Not even if I was offered a role in the next Die Hard-movie and Taylor Swift did the soundtrack.”

“That’s pretty big,” Amy laughs, leaning in for a quick kiss. “Would Taylor Swift do the soundtrack for Die Hard, though? Realistically speaking?”

“It’s a daydream, Ames!”

She has no time for a comeback, though, because right then, the countdown starts on the tv and Jake raises the volume a few bars so they can hear.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four…

p;

“New Year’s kiss,” Amy says, holding Mac up slightly so they can both reach him.

Three, two, one… happy new year!

They both smother his cheeks with kisses at the same time as the fireworks explode over the sky in the distance outside their windows and the crowd begins to cheer on tv. Mac doesn’t even flinch, completely oblivious to the celebrations going on outside. Amy sighs.

“How can he magically sleep through all of this, but wake up the second I put him down in his crib at night?”

Jake shrugs. “Babies, man.”

~

december 31st, 2021.

Amy has only started to take off Mac’s winter overall before he starts trying to flee, kicking wildly with his boots and pointing towards the kitchen where he’s already spotted Rosa. Jake notices her struggle and is quick to help her, and the instant the toddler is free, he hurries off towards his best friend.

“Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo!”

“Mac! Hey, happy new year, man!” Before Amy can even take off her own jacket, Mac is already in Rosa’s arms and babbling excitedly as he plays with her gold necklace. Amy wonders how much of what Mac’s saying actually makes sense to Rosa, but she’s nodding and smiling and seems to have abandoned whoever she was previously talking to in favor of the one-year-old.

“Jake. Amy.” Kevin appears to take their coats, shaking their hands. “Welcome. Drinks and hors d’oeuvres are in the living room, and I see your small child has made himself at home.”

“He found Rosa, yep.” Jake grins. “And he has a name.”

“Ah, yes… McClane.” Kevin nods. “Very well. I have to go check on… the kitchen. Enjoy your evening.”

  “He’s never going to like me,” Jake whispers to Amy the moment he’s left.

“Well, I think we both might have lost a few points with the name choice, babe.”

“He’s one to talk names, he’s got a dog named after a cheese!”

“I know, but we can’t tell him that. Come on, Jake, I have to find something to chew on before I get sick.”

“You can always blame it on the alcohol, if you do.”

“Jake.”

“Just kidding,” he grins. “You go check on Mac and Rosa and I’ll locate the snacks.”

 It turns out Rosa is more than willing to guard Mac for the evening, currently showing him the model train she's found in the library. Mac is watching with focus as Rosa helps him turn on the button that makes the train drive around the tracks, laughing as it lets out a choo-choo sound.

“Your son is much cooler than the rest of these lame partygoers,” she shrugs when Amy asks her if she's sure it's fine. “He says what he's thinking, unlike the rest of all these dum-dums.”

“Dum-dums,” Mac repeats, proud. Rosa nods.

“Exactly. I’ll call you if something happens.”

 And so, in an unexpected turn of events, Amy finds herself able to sit down for most of the evening without having to chase a wild toddler around to keep him from whatever dangers he could somehow manage to get himself into in Holt’s and Kevin’s house. She supposes it looks quite antisocial of her, and maybe it is, but she’s six weeks pregnant and the early symptoms of nausea and fatigue seem to be coming on both stronger and faster the second time around, so Amy doesn’t really care. She’s got lemon sparkling water for a non-alcoholic drink, a paper plate of carrot sticks, salted crisps and almonds, and she’s not going to talk to anyone unless they sit down next to her. It’s practically heaven. Jake checks on her from time to time, assuring her multiple times that they can just leave early if she wants to, but however tired she feels, Amy doesn’t want to insult Holt that badly. They’re staying until midnight as per proper New Year’s party etiquette, and then — and not a second later — they can go home so she can crash in bed.

 Rosa finds her again when Mac begins to get sleepy, rubbing his eyes and yawning but still shaking his head when Amy asks if he's feeling a little tired. He crawls over to her arms anyway, laying his head on her shoulder and hugging his arms around her chest.

“Thanks for looking after him,” she tells Rosa, but she just shrugs.

“No worries. I don't get to hang out with him enough. Your kid is dope.”

“Douh,” Mac whispers, mimicking her, and Rosa laughs.

“Repeats every word you tell him, too,” Amy says. “Yeah, he’s pretty awesome. Come over to our apartment at five-thirty in the morning on any weekend and you can hang out with him all you want. I won't stop you.”

Rosa scrunches her nose. “I’ll consider it.”

“He’s in a great mood then, I can assure you that.”

“I'll take your word for it. Also, Jake was tipsy talking baby names with some etymology professor when I saw him last, and he seemed very intense about it for a guy who's not currently thinking of naming any new babies. Or?” She raises an eyebrow.

“No, he just get thats intense when somebody implies McClane is a weird name,” Amy says, and makes a note to herself to remind Jake about their agreement not to tell anyone else at least until the twelve-week mark. “Which, to be fair, I warned him that people would think. But here we are anyway.”

“It is a weird name. Couldn’t imagine him being called anything else, though, even if I still don’t understand why you agreed to it.”

“There was a really good PowerPoint involved.”

Rosa looks at her questioningly, but Amy shakes her head, knowing there’s no point in explaining the unexplainable.

“Hmm. You guys are weird. You make pretty great kids, though.”

“Yeah.” Mac has fallen asleep by now, drooling a little bit on Amy’s shoulder. She kisses the top of his head and thinks of the abstract idea of her second kid, the thump-thump of an already present heartbeat they got so lucky as to hear on an early ultrasound yesterday. “The best.”

 As midnight draws closer, most of the guests take on jackets, scarves and shoes to venture out into the garden to watch fireworks. Not wanting to be left out, Amy and Jake manage to get a half-sleeping Mac, who wakes up suddenly interested when he hears about the promise of fireworks, into his overall and join them. It’s a surprisingly good view from the garden, the cold winter air waking them up, and Jake points out the vibrant displays in the sky to a drowsy Mac, who blinks at them dazedly. It’s so cute it makes Amy tear up. Being both a mom and newly pregnant does that to her; she’s given up trying to fight it.

  It’s hard to believe that two years ago, she was toasting in champagne in a hotel bar and wondering if they would ever make a baby together, and now she’s standing in a garden watching Jake with their one-year-old son and knowing that next New Year’s, if all goes well, they’ll be parents of two.

“What are you thinking of?” Jake must see her tears, because he looks worried, but Amy just smiles.

“Just how quickly things can change. How happy I am. And how much I love you.”

“Love you, too. Top three-hundred-and-sixty-five moments of this year,” Jake says, hugging her close so they’re standing in a little family bubble. “Every single day I get to wake up with and then come home to my family.”

  Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four…

  They both lean in so they can smother their son with kisses, and he laughs as he figures out what’s about to happen.

 Three, two, one… happy new year!

  The sky explodes with color, Jake and Amy attack their son with kisses, and as the new year begins, Amy thinks she might just be the luckiest person in the entire world.

~

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

Types of kisses with Jimin

First Kiss

Jimin had finally worked up the courage to ask you on a date. He was worried you would reject him and didn’t feel the same way. So after much encouragement from Taehyung he finally asked you, and when you agreed he was absolutely over the moon! He wanted everything to be perfect. Since you two had been friends for quite some time he wanted everything to be perfect so he could show you just how much he cared for you and was serious about a relationship with you. He took you to Busan to spend the day at the beach with him and watch the sunset. He had a blanket spread out close to the water, occasionally the waves would come high enough to barely touch the tips of your toes and you always let out a string of giggles that sounded like the sweetest melody to his ears. As the sun began to set and the sky was bathed in hues of orange and pink, you felt the tips of his fingers brushing shyly against your hand. Which was odd to you, Jimin was usually very affectionate with you and didn’t hesitate to initiate skinship. He seemed to be nervous or unsure of himself. 

“Jimin you can hold my hand, it’s okay. It’s not like you haven’t before.” You notice his lips puff out slightly in a pout and you get a strong urge to kiss him. But you push it down, for now. 

“Well, yeah but that was different before.”

“How?”

“We were friends before. Now we’re um.. together? At least I hope we are.”

“Are you asking to be my boyfriend Park Jimin?”

“Well uh- yeah I would love nothing more. But I just don’t know if you feel as strongly as I do. I have been crushing on your for so long, probably since we first met and holding your hand or hugging you always made butterflies flutter around in my stomach but now that I am on a date with you? It’s just that much more intense because I am not trying to push my feelings down anymore and keep them hidden so I just feel.. everything, and....”  He’s rambling now, and you decide to finally put him out of the anxious state he’s worked himself into by kissing him softly on the lips. He jumps and tenses for a moment, his eyes are comically wide until he closes them and lets himself get lost in the moment. With shaky hands he brings them both up to cup your face as he presses his lips more firmly to your own. You could easily stay like this forever, but you know he’s probably still lost in his head wondering what your answer would be. 

“I would love to be yours, Jimin.”

Lazy Kisses

You knew Jimin had spent most of the night practicing for their comeback stage, and that he would be exhausted the next day. So you woke up early to cook him breakfast and make sure he would be energized for his busy schedule. You walk into the room with a tray of food and open the curtains to let the sunlight in, but he wouldn’t budge. You set the tray on the nightstand next to him and run your finger through his hair, trying not to squeal over how adorable he looks with his lips pouted and eyes slightly scrunched from the light. 

“Jimin. Sweetheart, it’s time to wake up.” He grumbles and throws the blanket over his head. You can’t help but chuckle as you crawl into bed next to him, and gently pry the covers away. His hair is sticking up in every direction and you’re so endeared by the sight of him. 

“I don’t wanna get up. Just want to stay in bed with you all day.”

“I know, and I would love that too but you have more practice today and you have to get up. Come on, I even made you breakfast!” He perks up a little and turns to his side to see what you’ve made for him. 

“Ah you’re an angel y/n! Thank you!” He leans in and kisses you gently. He pulls away and gives you an odd look, before leaning in to kiss you again. He kisses you all over your face, each kiss lingering longer than the last before a final one is planted on your forehead and you absolutely melt. 

“Could stay here all day just kissing you.” He mumbles against your forehead. 

“I could stay here all day getting kissed by you.” You feel him smile before he pulls away and finally sits up. He’s in the middle of eating when his phone chimes with a text message. He asks you to check it for him. 

“Looks like you get your wish after all. Namjoon says they are giving you guys the day off.” His face lights up almost immediately.

“Really?!”

“Yep! So hurry up and eat so we can go back to what we started.” You lay back down and within moment his soft lips are back on yours. You spend the day lost in one another and in each others arms, leaning in to kiss the other every so often just as a reminder of how much you care for each other. 

Heated Kisses

Jimin had been teasing you all day. He knew what he was doing, getting you riled up on purpose. It started when he invited you to the studio to critique a new dance he was working on for their comeback in a few months. Except in your mind you knew that was a lie. The way he was moving his hips and looking at you like he wanted to devour you, told you a completely different story. This was not some dance he was working on for a new song of theirs, no. This was just for you. When he started walking over to you, swaying his hips with a sultry gaze in his eyes you covered your face with your hands and screamed into them. 

“Park Jimin, what are you trying to do to me?”

“Hmm, nothing my love. I am afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He winks at you and immediately turns back around to turn the music off. “You want to go grab something to eat with the guys?” You nod your head, eager for a distraction to forget about what he was just doing moments ago. 

Except it wasn’t a distraction for you at all. Oh it was so much worse. He scooted his chair as close to yours as possible, and had his hand on your thigh the entire night, every once in a while moving it to your inner thigh and squeezing, most of the time causing you to let out a choked off sound and the other members to look at you with concern. 

“Everything okay y/n?” Namjoon asks. Jimin takes this opportunity to lightly ghost his fingers up your inner thigh, avoiding where you want him most. 

“F-fine! Oh would you look at the time. I think we should go now since I have to be at work in the morning.” 

“You have the day off tomorrow what are you talking about, y/n?” Jimin smirks at you as if to challenge you and you’ve had enough. 

“Okay, fine. You want me to be honest then? Your precious little Jiminie here has been teasing me and getting me worked up all day and I can’t take it anymore. So if it is okay with you, I would like to go home with my boyfriend so he can finally finish what he started.” Jimin chokes on the rice he was shoveling into his mouth at your bold remark. 

“Ew! Okay both of you get out of here now. I don’t even want to think about that.” Jin makes a fake gagging noise and poor Jungkook is staring at you both in shock. 

“Alright then. Jimin, we’re leaving. Now.” You grab his hand and yank him up from the table and into the car. The moment he closes the door you’re in his lap, straddling his hips and gripping the hair at the back of his neck to pull him in for a heated kiss. He moans quietly in surprise, not expecting you to pounce on him so suddenly but he quickly catches up and his finger tips tightly grip your waist under your shirt. They ghost up your sides and lightly trail back down and you can’t help but shiver. You feel him smirk into the kiss before he pinches your side, causing you to yelp and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. He kisses you until you pull away, panting heavily and eyes lazily starting to droop closed as you try to relax and settle your racing heart.

“Are you tired already y/n? Oh, baby we’re just getting started.”

Sweet Kisses

Jimin’s kisses are always sweet in your opinion. But this time they were sweeter than normal. You two were making edible cookie dough in the kitchen. You were skeptical how good it was going to be, as the last time you two tried to bake it was a total disaster. You were still finding globs of batter in the kitchen even a month later. Jimin puts the spoon in his mouth and you carefully watch his expression. He seems to be thinking for a moment before a wide grin spread across his face.

“This is so good! Oh my god.” He grabs another spoonful and pops it into his mouth. “Oh this is absolutely heavenly.”

“Hey! Share some with me, I helped!” 

“No way! You were a nonbeliever and thought it was gonna be bad and made me try it first. I’m not sharing.” He clutches the bowl to his chest and you pout. “Don’t you look at me like that. No no don’t- Oh fine.” He holds the spoon out and you go to eat some but he quickly pulls it away and kisses you instead.

“Jimin, as much as I love your kisses. If you don’t let me try some of that I am going to hit you.” He bursts into laughter. 

“I will give you some. If you give me 10 more kisses!” And how can you say no to such a sweet request? You kiss his cheeks, his forehead, the tip of his nose, his chin, the top of his head, and finally his lips. You did deepen the kiss to distract him while you snatch the spoon out of his hand and finally ate some of the cookie dough. 

“Oh wow this is good.” 

“You play dirty you know?” He’s pouting slightly so you hold the spoon back up to his lips. 

“Want to go watch our movie now?”

“Yes! But the bowl stays in the middle of the cushions between us.” You roll your eyes but it quickly turns into a fond smile when you see the way he’s looking at you.

Wedding Kiss

When it was announced that he could now kiss you and officially be married he froze. He couldn’t help it, his mind just blanked. And suddenly he was terrified that this was all just a dream. You could see the nervousness in his eyes and placed a comforting hand on his cheek.

“Jimin? My love, what’s wrong?” He seems to snap out of it as his gaze suddenly meets yours.

“Is this real? Like is this really happening? Are we about to be married? Because part of me feels like I am dreaming and just made the whole thing up. Because you’re so perfect. You mean the world to me. You’ve been there for me through anything and everything and have shown me so much love and care. I am just.. having a hard time believing you are r-OW! Why did you pinch my cheek so hard?!” A chorus of laughter rings out from the wedding guests, however Jimin hears your soft giggles over everything else. 

“To prove to you that you’re awake and not dreaming! Now kiss me please. I don’t want to wait another second to be Park Y/n.” His eyes fall onto your lips and he moves in. The kiss is gentle, and sweet. And holds all of the love he feels for you in that kiss. He can’t help it. He’s just so happy that he starts giggling joyfully into the kiss. The kiss turns playful, and soon he’s peppering kisses all over your face causing you to laugh even more. He moves his lips to yours once more and plants a final peck on them. 

“I love you, Jimin.”

“I love you too, y/n. So so much.”

[fucking-zawa-sensei]

A hurt/comfort blurb after the USJ incident? 😭

It has been 100 years, but I return with some good old hurt/comfort, my favorite kind of story. 

I hope you enjoy!

Unravel

It was such a simple motion, unfastening the little metal clasp that held the edge of the long bandage secure. That part was easy. 

Unwinding them all should have been just as straightforward, gone just as smoothly. 

Yet, his fingers tremble around the fabric, his hands shake as he repeats the motion, gathering the layers and layers of gauze in one hand as he circles Shouta’s arm with the other. He wishes he could go faster, can only think about the way Shouta’s sore shoulders must be getting tired from holding his hand out for Hizashi to change his bandages. 

Here, in the small space of their humble master bath, Shouta sitting on the toilet seat lid, Hizashi towering over him but feeling like he was shrinking with each and every rotation, he could feel the weight of every breath they exhaled. 

Here, in the same bathroom where Shouta had stitched up Hizashi’s shoulder blade when he’d taken a blade to his back...

Here, in the same bathroom where he’d cradled Shouta’s head again his chest in the tub, where he’d pushed those dark locks away from Shouta’s temple to press his lips against the soft skin there...

Here, in the same bathroom where he’d massaged his hands into Shouta’s lower back just a few days ago, as the other man complained about how it was time for a new mattress...

Here...where he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the massive, ragged-edged dark bruise, matching the color of the creature that had given it to Shouta, traversing up and down the majority of his husband’s back...

Here...the bandages weren’t the only thing unraveling. 

Finally, Hizashi reaches the last layer, the strip of fabric fluttering away from Shouta’s skin with a soft, delicate noise that has no right to be made in this room, in this place, in this moment. 

This breathe is the hardest one he’s ever held. 

He’d known this day would come since Shouta was sent home with him from the hospital, had asked more questions than was necessary, had taken notes, had prepared himself. He knew it would smell bad, he knew it would look bad, he knew it would be discolored and clotting and yellow and bruised and weeping. He knew. He knew. 

He’d been prepared to vomit, to hide his gut reaction to grimace like he does when Shouta tries to convince him to eat rice porridge when Hizashi is feeling sick. 

He had been prepared for all of that. 

He hadn’t been prepared to look at his husband’s broken skin, at his bruising and scabs and stitches and all the little, tiny fibers of fabric left behind from the gauze still sticking to the wet edges of his wound and see none of it. 

He hadn’t been prepared to see only the limp, dying body draped across a young hero-in-training’s back, to see the slowly growing pool of blood on the ground, leading back to each drip, drip, drip, running down his husband’s fingers and the back of his hand. 

So when he exhales and the rush of wind is a little too powerful in the way it always is when he can’t quite keep his quirk at bay, when the tissue box on the small wall shelves above Shouta’s head rustles side to side with the force of it, he knows that Shouta is aware.

He has to be.

Hizashi has done such a terrible job of being strong. 

His hands shake as he crumbles up the soiled bandages, and when he turns abruptly to throw them in the trash, to look at anything but all the broken parts of the man he loves, of the arms that almost never got to hold him again, he stubs his toe against the bottom of the sink counter and can’t quite stop the shaking curse that trickles through his lips. 

Hizashi clamps a hand over his mouth, the other gripping the edge of the sink. He knows it must look like he’s about to be sick and that’s the last thing he wants. This isn’t Shouta’s fault. He’s not disturbed by the sight of his injuries, this is the exact thing he wanted to avoid, the exact situation he’d been trying to prevent.

He wanted Shouta to feel loved, to feel secure, to feel like any scars that form are just another layer of beauty. 

He needed to Shouta to know that the shake in his shoulders has nothing to do with that, has nothing to do with what he’s seeing, and everything to do with what he saw. 

“Hizashi.”

Whatever sob that had been forming in his throat turns into a gag instead, cutting off his breath. 

“Turn around.”

He does, slowly, dropping the hand away from his face. He feels the tears start the moment he turns, feels the first tracks dripping down his cheeks. 

Shouta stares up at him from his seat, having apparently pulled the bandages off of his own face once his hands were freed. They’re tired and bloodshot, the bags underneath them more prominent than ever, highlighted by dark, purple bruises that litter his entire face. There’s an extra patch of gauze beneath his right eye, still in place, but there are a few spots of dried blood on it and he knows this too will need replaced. 

He opens his mouth, about to apologize, but Shouta’s hand reaches out instead. It’s trembling just as much as Hizashi’s did and he doesn’t know if it’s from the pain or the stifling way the air seems to be growing heavier with each second that passes. 

It finds its way to his shirt, gives a weak tug, and Hizashi follows the silent command, crouching down onto his knees to be at Shouta’s level. The other man spreads his legs to make more room. 

Then, Shouta’s hand is on his face, still shaking, the movements rough as he caresses the short, fine hairs that have started growing along Hizashi’s cheek and jaw a week ago, after the first night he’d spent sleeping beside Shouta’s hospital bed. 

“Time for a shave,” Shouta says, a small smile pushing at one corner of his lips. 

Hizashi wants to say, no, this is about what you need, but Shouta juts his chin toward the corner of the sink where Hizashi’s razor and oils and lotions are all set neatly on a little bamboo wood tray. He doesn’t know what to do so he does what he’s told, grabbing the razor and shaving cream. 

Shouta nods back at the floor and Hizashi settles on his knees once more. 

His hair grows slowly, always had, it had taken him many months to perfect his current mustache, so while he’s sporting a nice little layer of something slightly more than peach fuzz, it’s not very much to shave. Still, Shouta uses whatever strength the painkillers he’d taken a half hour ago have provided him to clumsily lather Hizashi’s face with the shaving cream. 

He’s a little nervous when Shouta’s quivering fingers bring the blade to his face, so he finds himself instinctively helping, using his own hand to help support Shouta’s. Together, they give him the longest, most harrowing shave Hizashi’s probably ever had. 

They do it all in silence. 

When he turns to the sink to wipe off his face with some water and a towel, when he runs his hands over his somewhat smooth cheeks, a few patches uneven, he’s surprised to see himself smiling in the mirror. He’s shocked to see his hands are steady, his heart not racing anymore. 

Hizashi turns around and Shouta is leaning back on the toilet, his arms hanging loose in his lap, legs still spread lazily. His head is lilting to one side, and his eyes look like they’re struggling to stay open, but he’s smiling too. 

“We shouldn’t have done that,” Hizashi says. “I need to wash your wounds, we need to re-bandage them...we-”

“It’s okay,” Shouta cuts him off. “I needed that.”

Hizashi looks down at the tiles. 

“I needed that,” Hizashi admits quietly. 

“You did.”

“Shouta, I’m sorry...you’re the one who was hurt...I..”

Shouta’s hand appears in his vision, finds his own, and pulls weakly again. Hizashi redirects his gaze towards his husband’s face, allows his fingers to be intertwined. 

“I’m not the only one who was hurt.”

Hizashi bites his lip and Shouta shakes his head. 

“It’s okay, let it out,” Shouta encourages. 

Hizashi swallows hard, his grip tightening around Shouta’s hand. 

“I was scared to lose you too,” Shouta says, his voice tripping over the words, obviously difficult for him to say.

He wants to throw himself at Shouta, pull him into his arms, hold him tight, but he knows he can’t do these things, knows he has to be gentle. So he gets back on his knees and wraps his arms around Shouta’s waist and lets his head fall in his husband’s lap. The sobs rip through him like nothing he’s ever experienced before, quickly filling the small room with all the noise it was previously missing. Shouta’s hands card through his hair, rub up and down his arms. 

He doesn’t know how many times he says “I love you,” but Shouta matches each and every one. 

It takes hours to finally finish cleaning and re-wrapping Shouta’s injuries, but only minutes for them to fall asleep, Shouta’s arms wrapped around Hizashi’s middle, his face tucked into Hizashi’s chest. 

The past few nights had been difficult, he’d been unsure where to place his hands, what was safe to touch without hurting Shouta. 

Tonight, he lets his palms gently trace up and down his husband’s back, careful, soft, but confident. 

He’s here.

He’s safe.

Like a mantra, Hizashi repeats it until his eyelids falls shut, his lips pressed onto the top of Shouta’s head. 

He’s here.

He’s safe.

[neokids]

Fortune's Fool: Act IV

Introduction

Cast

Act I

Act II

Act III

Act V

Act IV

Tw: Lots of blood, character death, violence, murder, guns, knives, weapons, foul language, self-inflicted wounds, suicide, overall graphic content

“I don’t see anything.”

Jeno decided to further poke at whatever he was looking at. They were currently on the boardwalk near Han river, where the very first gruesome incident had occurred.

“Shut up and keep looking.”

They had yet to find anything suspicious, or anything “monster” related, the dock just seemed normal to them. No signs of tragedy even. They had been wandering around the docks for hours now, and the two were getting bored. Jeno, however, persisted.

“Ya Jeno. Jeno-ya. Jeno Lee–”

“For fuck’s sake what?! What is it Jaemin? If you don’t stop, I will not hesitate to throw you in this river right now.”

Jeno turned around to see a crouching Jaemin, obviously wanting to go home. If they weren’t at the docks right now going on a search, Jaemin would sure be enjoying painting whatever it was on his mind. Jeno couldn’t go home without anything to present his father, he could already imagine the look on his face, disappointed yet again. Earlier this morning, Lord Lee had met Jeno just before he left. He gripped Jeno’s shoulder while muttering the words: “Don’t let me down, son.”

To a passerby, the scene was normal, just a father and son having a conversation, but Lord Lee had actually gripped Jeno’s shoulder a little bit too hard, causing a red and almost bruised grip mark to form. Thinking about it made him touch his shoulder again. The word son actually felt more like a threat to him, rather than a word of affection.

He was too lost in thought only to be brought back by the sound of Jaemin groaning,

“You know you volunteered to go with us, right? You were even so excited to go on what you call a ‘mystery hunt’” Jeno said, causing Jaemin to look up at him.

“That was because I thought this case would be interesting, we’ve been here for hours looking for nothing! This is starting to feel like a game of hide-and-seek where everyone was already inside while the person was still counting to a 100,” Jaemin huffed as he stood up, now maintaining eye contact with Jeno.

“All too familiar with that situation, are we?” Haechan decided to butt in their conversation after hearing what Jaemin had said causing Jeno to barely hold back his laughter.

Back when they were kids, all the Lee children decided to play hide and seek, with Jaemin being the person to find them. They agreed upon this since he wasn’t a Lee, so he should be it. Jaemin started to count to ten, only to hear Haechan scream that he should repeat it and count to 100, and so he did. What Jaemin didn’t know was that Haechan had silently told everyone to go back inside to their respective rooms, and only show up until it was time for dinner. Let’s just say that Jaemin spent the whole night crying because he was so stupid, he even refused to eat dinner, he was so sure that he would be met with Haechan’s teasing nonstop. That is until a very thoughtful Jeno had brought food up to his room, and apologized on Haechan’s behalf.

“Shut up before I throw you into this river.” Jaemin said, challenging Haechan only for the latter to just shrug and continue his search.

“Christ it reeks in here.” Jaemin further complained, “At least it smells like rotten fish, not like rotten bodies.” Jeno countered. Jaemin stopped in his tracks to look at his best friend, “Is there a difference?”

“Jeno,” Haechan called and waved for him to come closer,

“What? Did you find something?” Jeno immediately went to his cousin’s direction.

“Of course not.” With that, Jeno smacked his cousin right on the head.

“Look, I don’t think there are any more places we could search. I mean we searched this place top to bottom already, I don’t think we missed anything.” Haechan said, looking up at his cousin.

Well technically, even if they did manage to find something, what would they do with it? There was no one to question, no one to blame, no suspects to interrogate, this was a tragedy caused by the victims themselves. The people who had died were the only suspects.

“People say that there was another attack here last night.” Haechan added as he stood up, Jeno tearing his gaze away from the waters of Han river and back to his cousin.

“Well then that’s great!” Jaemin exclaimed quite too enthusiastically. This only caused the Lee cousins to look at him as if he was the craziest man alive. Jaemin on the other hand, had just realized what he had said, he didn’t mean it that way.

“I mean– the new location, not the attack… Sorry ‘bout that. Let’s move along to the new crime scene shall we?” Jaemin finally exclaimed, fully ready to get going. He was already making his way towards the alleged crime scene when he was pulled back by Jeno.

“We can’t, it happened in Viper territory.” This only caused Jaemin and Haechan to look at each other then back at Jeno.

“And how did you know exactly where it had happened?” Jaemin asked, crossing his arms, Haechan just eyed him suspiciously, “My father had sent me to obtain any information they had regarding the very first attack. The second attack happened in the Poculum, a man suddenly collapsed and… well you know what happens next.”

“Well? Was any information obtained?” Haechan asked, his turn to cross his arms. Jeno only shook his head no. “She said they knew nothing.” A moment had passed in confused silence,

“She? She knew nothing?” Haechan echoed, Jaemin tilting his head rather very confused. “Who’s this ‘she’ we’re talking about?” Jaemin decided to also question Jeno. Jeno looked at the two of them, only to turn his gaze towards the murky waters of Han river. “Yeji Hwang,” He answered rather quietly. The two could only blink at Jeno, then suddenly a loud bang could be heard all throughout the dock, Haechan had accidentally knocked over the crates he was leaning on.

“Yeji?!” Haechan exclaimed,

“Yeji is back?!” Jaemin decided to add as well.

Jeno could only keep his gaze on the water. A sudden sharpness towards his chest, made its way to his head. The feeling did not go away no matter how hard he tried, hearing her name out loud definitely did not help. It hurt to even say her name.

Actually, not too far from here is where he had first met her. They were both still just kids, hoping to get away from their respective households. Jeno had decided to take a break from riding his bike to stop and sit by the Han river. Back then, it was much more clean and much more fresh. A very shocking contrast to the polluted and dirty water now. It was funny how the water, just like them, turned darker and darker over time. It was a symbol of how unclean and impure the water was, just like them. As time went on, the more bad things they had done. Causing their souls to get tainted. If people were all born with pure white souls, theirs would have been pitch black by now. Dark as the water in Han river.

Yeji just so happened to lose her balance right in front of him, cliche they know. Thankfully, a very sweet Jeno had helped her get back up. Ever since that day, they would meet everyday to just play and bike around. They were not Lees nor Hwangs, but simply just kids who played.

“Yeah, she is.” Jeno confirmed as his fists were balled against his sides. He let out a shaky breath as he stood up.

He had heard rumors of what Yeji had done, all the lives she took, crimes committed causing the people of Seoul to become terrified of the heiress. He had hoped that maybe those were just rumors, nothing but lies to scare enemies away, but when they confronted each other last night and had looked each other in the eyes, he knew that they were all true.

She was a killer, a criminal, violent, callous, and ruthless– that is what she was now.

He felt sorry for her, he didn’t want to, but he did. He couldn’t help the fact that the Yeji he knew way back was slowly disappearing now. If not, had completely disappeared. It didn’t settle nicely to him knowing that he was the cause of the sudden change of heart in her. In those 4 years she was gone, Jeno had still dreamed about her. In those 4 years, who couldn’t help but miss her. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her everything.

But he does not regret what he has done.

“What in the animal planet is this?” Haechan said as he crouched down to pick up the crates he had previously knocked over, only to find mysterious looking objects scattered on the floor.

At first glance, the mysterious objects looked like scattered peppercorns on the ground, maybe a merchant had unfortunately dropped their spices and refused to clean the mess up. But at further inspection, the so-called “peppercorns” had tiny legs and with dysmorphic bodies the size of an infant’s fingernail. It was pitch black and shiny as well. Haechan, realizing what he was holding were in fact, dead insects, had instantly dropped the insects on the floor with a loud yelp. The insects fell on the floor similar to how grains of rice were if they had been dropped.

Hearing Haechan suddenly yelp in disgust immediately alerted Jeno and Jaemin to head toward his way. When they reached the sight, all three were silent. The mysterious insects scattered on the ground were nothing like what they had seen before.

“Are those… dead flies?” Jaemin asked, unsure of himself.

“How are those dead flies when they can’t even fly? They don’t have wings,” Jeno said while he pointed to the closest insect near him. “Jaem check the other crates and Haechan give me your bag.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Jeno only glared at him as he extended his arm out in order for Haechan to give him his bag. “But I just got this and it’s limited edition and I had to search–”

“Haechan,” Jeno warned, “Give me your bag.”

With a disgusted look on Haechan’s face, he gave Jeno his bag. He watched as his cousin scooped a handful of the insects and put them all in his bag. “Why couldn’t you just put them in your pockets for Christ’s sake.” Haechan complained as he was given his bag full of unidentified insects, “They would get squished obviously. Plus my pants are new.” Jeno said, giving Haechan a playful wink,this only caused Haechan’s eye to twitch.

“There’s nothing here,” Jaemin said as he was carefully putting the crates back in place, the two Lees were already making their way towards Jaemin when they heard voices of merchants coming their way. There was no sight of any Neo-owned fishing boat, that only meant they were in the vicinity of the Vipers.

“Perfect timing, might I add.” Haechan said as he looked at a panicking Jeno and Jaemin, and before the two could react, Haechan already gave them both a rough push. Soon enough, all three of them were quickly submerged in the polluted water of the Han river. They swam underneath the boardwalk in hopes of not getting seen by the incoming merchants. They heard distant voices quickly fading out in the background. As soon as the coast was clear, Jaemin grabbed a fistful of Haechan’s hair and submerged his head in the water.

“Ya! You didn’t have to push me! We could have just opted to hide behind the boats stupid-ass.” Jaemin said, as he released Haechan. “They were walking towards the boats smart-ass.” Haechan retorted as he splashed water towards Jaemin’s direction. While the two were arguing back and forth on what they should and should not have done, Jeno was busy scanning the whole area. Suddenly, a floating shoe had caught his attention. Leaving the two behind, Jeno swiftly swam to the said object. Upon further inspection, the shoe was what he thought it was.

“Oy!” He quickly called out, causing the two to stop and turn their attention to him. “Do you know who this belonged to?” The other two tilted their heads. “A stingy man who decided to take a swim here in Han river who managed to forget his shoe?” Jaemin asked sarcastically.

Haechan could no longer stand any more of their current situation so he started to swim towards the land while the two were quick to follow suit. As soon as they were back on their feet, Jeno called for the attention of the two.

“This belonged to the man who clawed himself to death last night, the man who died in the Poculum.” He grabbed Haechan’s bag as he started to walk away fast. “This means that the man was here too. Let’s go, we need to take this to Doyoung and Kun.”

“Can’t we at least change into some dry clothes?” Haechan said as he squeezed his polo shirt. Jeno only turned back and rolled his eyes, “You’ll be dry by the time you get–”

“Oy,” Jaemin suddenly interrupted, he suddenly narrowed his eyes at the water they were previously submerged in. “Did.. did you see that?”

When the two looked at the water, all they saw were their silly reflections staring back at them. They looked at Jaemin as if he was a mad man, but when they saw the look of confusion and disbelief on his face, something told them that Jaemin wasn’t trying to be funny.

“Are you trying to be funny right now, Jaem?” Haechan asked, quite annoyed causing Jaemin to look back at them. There was something on his dead-serious face that caused an uneasy feeling to settle in their guts. “Never..never mind. I thought I saw eyes in the water, holy shit I need to lay off drinking too much espressos.” He said, scrubbing his eyes.

“Where?” Jeno asked as he scooted towards Jaemin. “In the water, but it could have been just my imagination,” Jaemin said as he looked at Jeno.

“But why would you imagine eyes in the water?” Jeno asked as he grabbed Jaemin, a sign to get going.

“You’ve heard the whispers right?” Haechan asked, only causing the three of them to halt, yet again.

“A monster.”

Only then, when said out loud, did Jeno realize how unbelievable it was. A monster? Running loose in the city? Only for it to jump in the river? In broad daylight? Jasmine was right, it did remind him of all the scary stories he would tell her when they were younger. Jeno then beckoned his friends to start moving.

“You can’t seriously believe that, can you?” Jeno asked Haechan, picking up his pace.

“Hey you never know, you know? For all I care this madness could have been from the river or something like that.” Haechan said as he tried to match Jeno’s awfully fast pace. “Whatever, let’s just keep moving.”

By the time they arrived back near the Neo mansion, they had already been completely dried. Jeno had stopped abruptly in front of their lab, panting trying to catch his breath. This caused Haechan to accidentally topple and collide with Jeno. Jaemin in the meanwhile, lost his balance and was now holding on to Jeno’s arm like a lost child.

“Sorry, tripped on this.” Jaemin said as he regained his balance. It was a flyer from the rovers, aka the people who didn’t side with neither the Vipers nor the Neos. It had this written in big bold red letters: SAVE YOURSELVES FROM THE MADNESS, GET VACCINATED!

“Give me that,” Jeno demanded as he snatched the flyer from Jaemin, he quickly folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket. “Come on, they should be closing up by now.”

As they entered the building, no Neo employee bothered to tell them off. No one should be entering the lab at this hour, especially now since they were all excited to head home. But of course, Jeno Lee was above all laws, he was the Neo heir after all. The only reason these employees were even getting some sort of pay was because of him.

“Doyoung? Kun? Are you still here?” Jeno asked as they reached the second floor of the lab. The second floor was for the more trusted scientists such as Doyoung and Kun. They were the ones responsible for making powerful weapons that could bomb a whole house down.

“Up here!” A voice had exclaimed, Jeno immediately following the said voice in a quick motion. Jaemin and Haechan were already on the verge of collapsing, but they still followed him.

Upon their arrival, Kun could only furrow his brows. It was usually only just Jasmine or Jeno, he didn’t expect for other people to arrive. Nonetheless, guessing they were with Jeno, they were of high ranks as well.

“What brings you here today hmm?” Kun asked as he set down the tablecloth he had just used to wipe his counter. His part of the lab was much more organized and clean than what was presented downstairs. He and Doyoung would always fight on who had a cleaner workspace, only for Jasmine to mess both up. “If you’re here for the cartel, we’re not yet quite finished with that.”

Jeno could only wince. Of course Kun had assumed that Jeno was there to follow up on the drugs, what else could he be there for? Just before Kun could answer, his attention was already on Haechan and Jaemin, but more of the latter.

“Ah, Jaemin Na, at your service.” Jaemin said as he extended a hand, Kun had paused since he wasn’t used to none-Lees visiting, but he still accepted. He then turned his attention to Haechan.

“What?” Haechan asked, did he expect him to introduce himself? But he was a Lee, was he not? Surely he knew me, Haechan thought. Jaemin nudged Haechan by the rib causing him to extend his hand as well. “Lee. Haechan Lee.” Kun only stared at him for a second before bursting into a fit of laughter. The three boys looked at each other, then looked at Kun. “I know.”

Haechan’s brow never twitched higher, causing Jaemin to laugh as well.

“We’re not here to nag you about the cartel, we need your opinion.” Jeno said as he set down his cousin’s bag, causing Haechan to grimace since he remembered what Jeno had placed inside. Jaemin also had a look of disgust on his face since they could hear the dead insects rattle inside.

“My opinion? Opinion on what?” Kun asked, a tad bit perplexed. “On this.”

Jeno dumped out all the contents inside the bag causing the insects to scatter all over Kun’s table. With no hesitation, Kun started poking and touching the insects, no sanitary measures whatsoever. This caused Jaemin to silently gag, and for Haechan to step back. “What is this exactly?” He asked, picking an insect up causing Haechan to further step back.

“We found them at the crime scene, where the first attack had happened.” Kun only looked at the insect closer. “So is this what you think may have caused the madness?”

Jeno, Jaemin, and Haechan could only look at each other.

You never know, you know? The words from his cousin suddenly echoed in Jeno’s head.

“I don’t know, I was hoping you could tell us.” Jeno admitted, “It was the only evidence present anyways,”

“Or maybe a monster from the Han river had resurrected and decided to start this contagion.” Kun looked at Jaemin in a very, very, bored way. “Stop talking.” Haechan whispered to Jaemin, making him immediately shut up.

“That’s...interesting.” Kun suddenly said. The three thought that he was referring to Jaemin’s suggestion, turns out, he was referring to the insects.

“What’s interesting?” Jeno asked coming closer, beckoning Jaemin and Haechan to do so as well. Haechan had to shove Jaemin since he did not want anything to do with those mysterious looking peppercorns.

“I’ll show you.” Kun grabbed a lighter and lit one on fire. When the insect he had lit on fire started moving, so did the others left on the table. For a mere moment there, they thought that the insects were still alive. But when Kun put out the fire, the insect had stopped, and so did the ones on the table. “Whatever this thing is, it’s definitely not acting alone.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jeno had asked, hoping that he had not.

“It follows something. Whatever that something commands.”

Oh this was definitely not a work of nature.

[writefinch]

Cheerleader Ransom Pt.2

(CN: noncon, bondage, M+f, facefucking, cum swallowing, cum bringing-back-up)

The second day's video began with a shot of Hannah kneeling with her back against a steel pole, her ankles, wrists, and elbows strapped together behind it. She still wore her tattered and cum-stained OSU cheerleading uniform, torn where the men had roughly pulled it away to grope her tits and groin, her skirt hiked high to show the tray of rice under her bare knees.

The rubber hood was gone, and her face was free of both makeup and bodily fluids. Her wringing-wet hair and pale skin indicated that she'd either had a bucket of water thrown over her head, or her head shoved into a bucket until she was somewhat cleaner. The tops of her cheeks bulged out under tightly-wrapped black bandages, securing some kind of gag in her mouth.

The leader stepped into frame and patted her head. "Morning, Rob. We hosed her down before we started shooting. Sorry if you wanted to see what she looked like when we took the hood off. She looked real miserable with all that half-dried spit and spunk on her face, but we didn't want to grab onto her head with it all sticky and slimy and to be honest she kinda stank.

"Like I said yesterday, Day Two is where the fucking starts. Today we're taking a crack at her mouth, so if you really crap a miracle and get our money together you might be able to keep her cunt in a somewhat-virginal state. Then again, you're seeing these tapes almost a day late, so by the time you watch this, I'll probably be balls deep in your daughter's gash, not that I'm complaining..."

Reaching down, he unwrapped the bandages around her face and revealed a ring gag underneath. He stuck his fingers into her mouth and pulled two spit-soaked knee-high socks from her mouth. She coughed and took a deep, steady breath, but flinched as he stroked her cheek, drool running out of the gag and down her chin.

The leader then took out a strange device, a stretchy ring of neon-pink silicone that resembled a headband, with a disc-shaped bulge protruding from one part. He stretched the ring and pulled it over Hannah's head, where the silicone band fitted neatly over the strap of the ring gag, and the protrusion fit through the ring of the gag like a plug in a sink. The camera zoomed in on the object now over her mouth: a piece of soft plastic shaped in a realistic imitation of a vagina. The leader ran his fingers up and down the plastic lips before pushing them into the cleft; Hannah's eyes went wide and she gagged. When he withdrew his fingers, they came out covered in spit, which he wiped off on her face.

"Do you like it, Rob? We're using her mouth as a fleshlight today so we thought we'd make it look like the real thing. We don't trust her to suck out cocks yet, and I'd hate to have to remove all those shiny white teeth with a set of pliers just because she tried biting—you paid a lot for the orthodontic work, after all. But we don't want to waste a day of training, after all, it's pretty easy if all she's doing is staying still and getting her mouth fucked. So we're going to give her a challenge in self-discipline. She's got to keep everything we feed her down, and if it comes back up, it goes back down again.

The leader smirked. "Of course there's only thirty of us, so by the time we're finished her stomach will barely be full, and where's the challenge in that? We're going to feed her something to get started."

He reached his hand out of shot, and it returned holding an enema syringe filled with a pint of opaque, off-white fluid. He screwed an attachment onto the end of the syringe: a four-inch long purple dildo, with a plastic knot bulging an inch from the base. When he applied a careful push to the plunger, dozens of tiny, milky-white beads welled up on the glans of the dildo, oozing out from pinprick holes in the silicone.

"Are you hungry, Hannah?"

Her garbled protestations that she was not earned her a firm slap. Another man came into frame, stood behind her, gripped her sodden hair with force and held her head straight while the leader pushed the dildo-syringe into her mouth. When the knot slipped between the silicone lips it formed a watertight seal, and as he depressed the plunger, her cheeks quickly bulged out.

He stuck a clothespin on her nose to prevent it from shooting up through her sinuses and said, "Cringe all you want, but if you don't start swallowing it'll go down your lungs, and you won't like that one bit, sweetheart."

With a defeated gulp, the first mouthful slid down her throat. He filled her cheeks again and forced her to swallow a second time. On the third swallow, he removed the clothespin and allowed her to take a few breaths. "We stole this yummy treat from a sperm bank near your college, maybe you'll recognize some of the donors?" She scrunched her eyes shut in disgust, but continued to swallow as he pumped the rest of it into her mouth. After ten gulps the syringe was empty, and a trail of sperm and spit hung between the tip of the dildo and the lips of the fake pussy.

The leader walked off-screen and returned a moment later having re-filled the syringe with another pint of fluid, the same colour but more watery. He held the tip of the dildo back against her gag, rubbing it up and down, taunting her. "Now, this pint came from a very different sperm bank to the other one," he said as he forced it into her mouth. "I'm sure you won't recognize it, but that Ashlynn girl who left the cheerleading squad last year after that hot little home video of hers got leaked, she might recognize it!"

Hannah's eyes went wide and she gave a muffled scream of revulsion and terror, but it was soon muted to a gurgle as the pressure within her mouth forced her to guzzle down the fluid. As she struggled, the man behind her strapped a plastic bucket to her chest and tied a wipe-clean silicone bib around her neck leading down into the bucket. When the leader finished feeding her, Hannah took deep, careful breaths with long pauses between them, obviously struggling to avoid throwing up.

The leader fished his half-hard cock out from his fly and gave it a few strokes until it was fully stiff, his foreskin sliding back and over the head, a bead of precum glistening at the very tip. "I've got first dibs and I don't want to keep the rest of the boys waiting, even if Blondie is there to entertain them."

The camera panned to the crowd of waiting kidnappers, thirty men in all-black clothes and black balaclavas. At the front of the pack, a fair-haired boy of barely twenty years was on his knees, stroking the cocks of two men, and pleasing a third with his mouth. His hair was tied back in uneven pigtails, which bobbed up and down in motion with his head. "He's a cutie," said the leader. "He tried ripping some guys off over an eight-hundred dollar weed deal, can you imagine that? We taught him a lesson, pretty similar to the one we're teaching your girl, but since he didn't have a rich daddy to bail him out, he's been turning tricks for us ever since. Usually he'd be on a street corner at this time of day, but we wanted to keep him here for cleanup."

He ambled up to Hannah and rested the tip of his cock against her plastic lips. "Hey, look up at me." With a whimper, she obeyed. He spat in her eye, and buried his cock in her mouth. "Eat a dick, bitch."

He fucked her face at a slow, careful pace, luxuriating in the involuntary movements of her tongue over his shaft, probing the back of her mouth until her resistance crumbled and his cock slipped into her throat. His pace grew, first enthusiastic and then frenetic until he came, his balls pressed to her chin and her nose buried in his wiry pubic hair. He gave a few more slow, careful strokes until his cock was no longer hard enough to easily push through the lips of the fleshlight and then pulled out entirely. As he did, a trickle of sperm ran out of the plastic vagina, dripped down onto the bib, and fell into the bucket below.

"See, wasn't that easy?" He patted the abject girl's hair. "Twenty-nine more to go and you'll be fine." He turned his head and shouted, "Blondie! Get your ass over here and clean me up."

As the leader walked out of shot, another man rushed past him and began raping Hannah's mouth. This one wasted no time with slow, testing strokes, instead grabbing her head in two massive hands and thrusting violently into her mouth. As his grunts of excitement grew in intensity, he pulled out so that only the tip remained in her mouth and stroked his shaft until he climaxed, forcing her to taste every drop of his sperm before swallowing it.

The third man made his introduction by slapping his thick, uncut, and obviously unclean cock on her face. He rubbed the tip under her nose, and as she began visibly dry-heaving, he pushed it in through the fleshlight and told her to start licking. Only once he was satisfied that she was trying to clean him with her tongue did he start thrusting, fucking her mouth as she twitched and whimpered before pressing in deep to cum down her throat. When he was spent, he pulled out but only until the head remained in her mouth.

For a moment, Hannah seemed to have calmed herself, staring forward into nothing and breathing deeply but steadily. Then, she shuddered. Her eyes scrunched shut. Her cheeks bulged.

A line of cum shot out of her nose.

The crowd of men hooted and laughed, and the one with his cock still resting in her mouth spat on her face again, and told her to swallow. Once the backwash slid back down her throat he pulled out, wiped his cock clean in his hand, and wiped his hand clean on her face.

The fourth kidnapper had a long, slender dick that easily slid down her throat in a single push, and after three thrusts it started bringing cum back up with it. The recycled semen spewed out between the lips of the fleshlight as he fucked her, running down her bib and into the bucket. He pulled out entirely to let more pour out, gripping her hair viciously as she retched and brought up more of the vile stuff from her belly, but when the flow trailed off there was barely a cup's worth in the bucket, so he thrust back in to make her bring up even more. By the time he finished cumming in her mouth, a pint of spewed-up cum sloshed around in the bottom of the bucket.

The next man shoved the dildo attachment into her mouth, detached the syringe, filled it with the contents of the bucket, and pumped the mess back into her mouth. Hannah wailed in despair and disgust as she was forced to drink down the sour cocktail of cum, spit, and bile. As soon as he removed the dildo out she threw up again, but he was so impatient and horny that he ignored it and pushed his cock into the cum-spewing gag. He had more self-restraint than the previous men, raping her throat methodically and carefully, firmly pushing his cock inside inch by inch until her lips were crushed into his pubic bone and then pulling his entire length back out in a lightning-fast stroke, alternating firm, grinding, balls-deep plunges with rapid-fire tonsil-bruising twitch-thrusts, pausing every time that she could no longer contain her retching to allow the white slime to pour out from her gag into the bucket. His only goal seemed to be to empty out her stomach more thoroughly than the previous men, and he didn't cum in her mouth until most of the two pints were in the bucket. He slapped her belly a few times, hard enough to leave pale-pink handprints. Another man approached with the syringe in hand, and she was fed the cum a third time before the next man started.

The men were now so horny that they stopped feeding her after each man, instead following one after another. In the whole time between the fifth and the fifteenth man raping her face, Hannah's mouth was free from cock for less than a minute of it. When the twentieth man finished with her, they forced the contents of the bucket down her gullet again. When she'd swallowed it all, they left the dildo in her mouth to prevent her from immediately throwing it all back up.

The camera panned to show Blondie entertaining the men, licking clean the last man to have used Hannah, stroking the cocks of two men who were waiting, and getting fucked in his ass by another man. The man fucking his ass pulled out, walked over to Hannah, and stuck his ass-and-lube-flavored dick in her mouth.

The leader laughed from out of frame. "Hah! Bet that one tastes good, huh?"

She was barely conscious as the last ten men used her, taking breaks to allow her to breathe, slapping her and holding smelling salts under her nose when she passed out, brutally fucking her mouth the second she snapped upright in pain. Her stomach was near-empty when the thirtieth man finished with her and her retching brought up nothing, but the leader stepped up and raped her throat again to ensure they'd got it all up. He pulled out entirely to jerk off on her face, which slid off the mess of spit, tears and cum, directly into the slop-bucket below.

The men ungagged her and untied her arms. Her jaw hung open, every testing movement causing her to flinch in pain, and her hands twitched and flexed weakly. When the leader leaned down to speak into her ear, she didn't have the strength to shy away.

"Look at you, champ," he said. "Not many girls can blow thirty men in a sitting, especially not on their first time. You made us all very happy, and you're going to make us happy tomorrow, and the day after, and you'll keep making us happy until your daddy pays up. But that's not important, what's important is that you need to rest up, maybe even in a bed. You need to eat some real food, drink some water, and stretch out on a cot without all these nasty straps and ropes. Would you like that?"

She nodded weakly. She opened her mouth to speak, but her throat was too raw, and all that came out was a raspy sob.

The leader took her hands in his and carefully, gently, pressed them to the sides of the bucket. "All you need to do," he whispered, "is drink the slop bucket. On your own, no one forcing you. I'll hold the bottom so you don't drop it, but you've got to drink it all by yourself, like a big girl. Just do this and you get to rest until tomorrow, do you understand?"

Hannah looked as if she was about to cry, but no tears came. The leader stroked her hair. "You'll be fine, I promise, there's nothing in that bucket that hasn't been in your tummy already. Just don't wait too long, I don't want my boys to get too excited and want another go."

Her arms were too weak to lift the bucket, but she steered it as the leader held it, and she began to drink. Her face went from bleak acceptance as she opened her mouth to swallow, to sheer disgust after one mouthful, cringing harder as she swallowed again, and a third time, and a fifth time. Her cheeks bulged from the last mouthful, but this time she did not swallow it down. The men around her oohed and aahed in mock-anticipation, she steeled herself to gulp, her gullet moved—

She vomited the moment the bucket hit the floor, the leader steadying it to avoid spilling it entirely. All the men laughed, and the leader cooed in mock-sympathy.

"Okay, maybe you'll need a few tries to get it right, but don't worry, you've got all night to keep trying." He stood up and looked directly into the camera. "Hey Robert, I don't want you to get bored so I'll end the tape now. Sorry if you wanted to see the whole thing, but hey, tomorrow you'll get to watch us break in her tight little snatch!"

The video picked up the sound of Hannah dry-heaving before cutting to black.

(Part 3 here: https://writefinch.tumblr.com/post/649254383657287680/cheerleader-ransom-pt3-cn-noncon-bondage) 

[fantasy2739]

*Spoilers for Wizards* Can you do a fic of Jim adjusting to being human again? Like being scared of sunlight and such? (Preferably something angsty :))

I sure can (give it a go 😂)!! Well there’s angst I’m sure. I really hope we get some Jim angst in the movie.

I hope you like it!!

It was the little things they were beginning to notice. Jim was human again. In his own home again. But he wasn’t quite... Jim. The house had already been adapted to suit trolls, what with Strickler living there. So that made it easier to not see the signs.

Jim Lake Jr was terrified.

Sun no longer streamed into his bedroom to wake him. That could be explained easily as him having to now sleep in the converted basement. The changeling children currently occupied his room. But no matter, the basement had everything he needed, his mother having already done it up in the hopes her son would return. Bed, wardrobe, alarm, books, desk. The cosy warmth of the boiler. A distinct lack of natural light. All things Jim needed. Now he was human he didn’t need to fear the sun, but it was comfortable, being hidden away in the dark.

The umbrella was an odd thing. Jim said he was being prepared. And anyway he hadn’t seen the sun in ages, he couldn’t take a full blast. So they let him wander around with an umbrella open like a parasol. Keeping him shaded. It would help him adjust, they thought, help him return to normal.

Normal was a long way away.

Once the umbrella had gotten stuck and Jim had jerked horribly, fleeing the suns gentle rays. The soft golden light was nothing but a curse. A fear. A new danger for him to face. They were all kind. Understanding. After all, could they have dealt with something they knew would kill them suddenly becoming soft and welcoming? Would they not be doing the same? They helped him get the umbrella, and held it aloft while he calmed down.

No wonder most of their time was spent outside at night.

Food shouldn’t have been an issue. Jim loved cooking. Loved the food he made. But the third time he tried to eat a fork they knew he hadn’t come to terms with his tongue again. It was slow going. They stuck with bland foods. Weak soups. Bread. Rice and pasta. All things that had little flavour. He could stomach them, and slowly he began to eat flavours again. The first time he had pasta and tomato sauce they thought they’d throw a party. It was a long road back to human. But slowly; they were getting him through.

Hands were another issue. The number of fingers he had changed so suddenly. Again. He’d try and grab with less fingers, or try to do something that required strength. His fingers were thin. Slender and weak. They could no longer punch stone or bend steal without injury. But he had more of them. It came with other issues. Holding a pen, a knife and fork, anything small and delicate. They were patient. They helped him correct things to five fingers instead of four. It took time but he was improving.

His biggest fear was now his mortality. Before there had been troll skin. Rock hard and durable. Even further before there had been armour. Steel strong and comforting. Now he was flesh. Just flesh and bone and nothing powerful. He could die any number of ways. Injuries that he would have been protected from where now the enemy. He’d hiss at paper cuts. Grumble at fork points. Even gentle pats from Aaargh sent trembles through him. He was weak. Mortal. With only his training to keep him alive. They tried to help him keep in shape. Fight and dodge and move. But there was only so much they could do.

He felt alone. Different. He was human again but the troll had left its mark.

[puckinghell]

Know Your Worth | Tyson Jost

Summary: While you’re busy with some guy who’s clearly not worth your time, there might be something better waiting at your door... Words: 2.3k Note: Happy Valentines Day remember chocolate will be on discounted on Saturday

--

“I’ve got a problem,” you proclaim, putting down your phone onto the counter, making sure to turn the screen to the bottom. From where he’s standing at the stove, Tyson raises an eyebrow without looking at you.

“I’ve got many problems,” he deadpans, “but you go first.” 

You know Tyson is talking about the struggles he’s been having with scoring, not enough goals after his name in the stats. But this is, arguably, more important. 

“It’s almost Valentines Day.” At those words, Tyson somewhat freezes, before finally turning around to face you. 

If you weren’t so caught up in this issue, you would’ve told him to keep watching the rice. Last time he tried cooking for you and took his eyes off the stove, everything literally crashed and burned. 

“So?” he asks. 

“So I haven’t heard anything from Calvin yet! How am I supposed to know whether or not to keep my evening free this Friday, if he doesn’t text?” 

“Your evening is free anyway,” Tyson says, not unkindly. Which, it might be true, but that’s just rude, so you take the spatula that’s on the counter and throw it in your best friend’s general direction.

“Hey!” Tyson yelps, jumping to the side. “No throwing kitchen utensils! And I didn’t mean it in a bad way, just, you’re gonna keep that evening free anyway, so.” 

“That’s so not the point,” you whine. “The point is that Calvin shouldn’t expect me to keep that time free, he should text me and ask me to keep it free!” 

From Tyson’s expression, you can tell he doesn’t really get it. That’s not surprising: your best friend is annoyingly practical, and annoyingly male, and guys just don’t get this kinda stuff. 

And then there’s the tiny detail that Tyson really, really, really doesn’t like Calvin, anyway. 

You’re not sure why; they’ve barely ever interacted. They met once when you ran into Calvin while buying groceries with Tys, and Calvin was perfectly polite and nice, while Tyson spent the entire 10 minute conversation shooting daggers at your...

Well. Boyfriend would be too big a word. You’ve not ever had that conversation. 

The thing is, things are complicated between you can Calvin. You met months ago in a club and you've been dating since, but not very regularly. It’s like one day, he’s interested, and the next he’s not. He texts you either twenty times a day or not at all for a week. He’ll either tell you he thinks you might be the one or tell you he’s just not ready for anything serious. 

It’s like, headspinningly stressful, to never know what he’s thinking. 

And yet, Tyson is probably right; saying no to him is simply not an option for you. It’s not even... Calvin is not the greatest guy you’ve ever met. He’s not the kinda guy you can count on, which was made clear to you when he failed to show up to help you move some boxes - you called Tyson for that, later, and he showed up within 10 minutes - and instead you got a call from him at 4am from some kinda club. Calvin is also not super funny, he doesn’t make you laugh like Tys can, and he’s not... 

He’s not even that hot. 

It’s just.

He’s interested in you. Sometimes, or maybe even most of the time. And it’s been a while since you had someone like that.

So. 

“You should come over Friday.” 

Tyson’s voice shakes you out of your land of dreams, and you land harshly with two feet on the floor.

“Huh?” 

He rolls his eyes. “For Valentines Day. You should come here. I’ll cook for you.” 

“You, cook?” you grin. “And this is supposed to make me want to come here?” 

But Tyson is genuinely looking a bit distraught, his cheeks red and eyes fixed on the floor, and you do love how your best friend always tries to be your knight in shining armor, so you nod.

“Okay, sounds good.” 

“You gotta keep your head up, babe,” Tyson says, before turning back to the stove, and you smile. 

He always says that, whenever you’re complaining about your - nonexistent - love life: “gotta keep your head up”. 

You imagine that must be pretty easy for him to keep his head up: he’s Tyson, he’s a professional athlete, he’s funny, he’s easy to talk to, he’s kind and caring, he’s attractive and cute - yes, they’re different things - so girls would be lining up to go on Valentines dates with him. 

But you know he mean well, so you roll your eyes.

“Sure, Tys. How about the rice, is it ruined yet? Am I ordering pizza?” 

Tyson’s voice is small when he answers: “Maybe.” 

---

You’re about ready to leave to go to Tyson’s apartment for your dinner and movie night when your phone rings. 

“Babe, happy Valentines!” It’s Calvin, because of course it is. You check your watch; 10 to 6. 

“Hello,” you say, carefully. You haven’t heard from him a few days, apart from maybe two Snaps that were of very little interested to you, so it’s kinda strange that he’s calling. 

“So, you, me, dinner at the Ivy, I’ll pick you up in half an hour. How does that sound? I made reservations and everything.” 

Your heartbeat picks up; you know this is stupid, you should say no, you already have plans, because you do. You’ve got plans with Tyson and he would be annoyed if canceled now. How could you even get ready in half an hour? You’re in your sweatpants, for Christ sakes. He didn’t even take the time to text you before, he didn’t even bother to ask...

“Okay,” you hear yourself say, and Calvin says something you can’t really make out before hanging up. 

Fuck. 

But you’ve said yes now and Tyson is your best friend, so surely he would understand, right? Tyson is your best friend, so why do you feel like your hands are made of lead as you lift the phone to call him.

“Y/N?” Tyson’s voice is cheery. “Are you running late again? You know you don’t have to call me for that, I always add at least 20 minutes to whatever time we decide on.” 

An involuntary smile makes its way to your face before you remember why you’re calling, and it drops immediately.

“Uhm, Tys, I’m really sorry, but...” 

“Oh,” Tyson says, and all the cheeriness has disappeared from his voice. “You’re not coming.” 

It’s not a question, it’s a statement; he knows you just a little too well. 

“No.” You hate how small your voice sounds, how guilty you sound; you don’t want to do this to him, but if there’s even a small chance that Calvin wants to be with you, you need to take that opportunity, you need to...

“I’ll throw the food in the freezer,” Tyson interrupts your trail of thought. He sounds flat, like he’s trying not to show you that he’s annoyed; it doesn’t really work.

You know him quite well, too.

“I’m really sorry Tys, I just...”

“Don’t,” Tyson cuts you off. “I’ll see you later. Have a nice night.” 

Then there’s nothing but the flat tone of a dead line, and the nagging thought in your mind that you might’ve made the wrong decision.

---

Two hours later, you’re standing outside Tyson’s door, your arms folded around yourself. You knock, but when the door opens, it’s not Tyson.

“Oh, JT,” you say, a bit weakly. “Hey, I just came to...”

“To apologize, I hope,” JT interrupts. He narrows his eyes, looks you over. “Where’s your coat?” 

“I don’t have one.” You blink, a bit confused. “Wait, what are you doing here on Valentines? Shouldn’t you be with...”

“My girlfriend? Yes. But when my friends are upset and need me, I’m there for them.” There’s an underlying tone to his voice that you can’t quite place. “Your date didn’t work out again?”

And, oh. You like JT, but you rarely talk to him, so the only way he can know about Calvin is if Tyson told him. The idea, for some reason, makes your stomach churn. 

“No,” you admit. “Listen, can I come in? I need to...” 

But you don’t get to tell him what you need to do, because before you finish, JT steps aside and suddenly you’re met with Tyson’s apartment.

Except it doesn’t look like Tyson’s apartment at all. Because Tyson’s apartment doesn’t have a million candles scattered across the place, doesn’t have a nicely set up dinner table in the middle, doesn’t have a big bunch of roses in the middle of that table. 

It doesn’t have Tyson sitting on the couch with a bottle of red wine in his hand. 

“Let her in,” Tyson calls to JT, and you can immediately tell he’s been drinking the bottle. He’s not pissed drunk, not quite slurring his words, but he’s definitely mumbling a bit. 

“Fine,” JT says. “I’ll be going, then. Call me if you need anything, Josty.” 

And then he’s gone and you find yourself standing in the middle of the room, staring at Tyson.

“What’s this?” you ask, and you can hear your own voice as if it’s echoing in the room. 

Tyson laughs, but it’s clear he doesn’t find anything funny. 

“This was for you,” he says, with no malice in his voice. “I wanted to give you a proper Valentines date. But I guess Calvin beat me to it, huh? Did he show up this time?”

You stay silent, and he sighs. “He didn’t, did he?” 

And it’s so stupid because you’re clearly the one in the wrong here, Tyson should be yelling and screaming at you and probably throwing you out of his house, but there’s tears burning behind your eyes and he takes one look at you and opens his arms.

It feels safe and familiar, to fall next to him on the couch and crawl into his arms. He smells like red wine and he’s wearing a nice button up, the one he usually saves for fancy Avs business.

“Want some?” he asks, handing you the bottle. 

It’s quiet for a while, before you manage to bring out the words you really should’ve said the moment you walked in.

“I should’ve never ditched you for him, Tys. I’m so sorry.” 

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Tyson agrees, and he sounds sad. “But it’s okay, I’m not mad. I just wish....” 

He cuts himself off and you allow him a few seconds before your curiosity can’t take it anymore.

“Just wish what?” 

“I just wish you found someone who loves you like you’re worth.” 

It’s like everything in the room freezes, Tyson’s words echoing in your head. But he’s still talking, not giving you time to process.

“It’s just, he keeps leaving you for dead. There’s no way that makes you happy, you know? You’re worth so much more. It’s like you don’t know what you’re worth, but I know you deserve so much more than this.” 

Tyson sighs. “I’m gonna stop talking and go to bed because I’m slightly drunk, but don’t forget what I said, okay? You deserve someone who picks you up when you’re down, who loves you at your worst.”

He stands up, stretching out in the middle of the candle lit room. “Someone who always puts you first, who wants nothing more than to see you smile.” He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Blow out the candles before you leave, will you?” 

And then he walks out and the door of his bedroom falls shut behind him, a million words swirling through your head.

There’s no way he could mean... him. Right?

Except, what if he did?

---

You go home that night confused and still upset with yourself, and you barely sleep that night. Every time you close your eyes you see the sadness in Tyson’s brown eyes, but also the understanding.

Like he knew this was going to happen. Knew you were going to ditch him and then come crawling back. 

Maybe he did.

But you also think about other things. About how Tyson always drops anything and everything when you need him. About how he makes you laugh even when you feel like crying. About how he’s always your biggest supporter, but never expects you to be at any of his big events. How he lets you complain without judging, always offers a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear, ready to give advise when asked but never shove it down your throat.

About how he loves you at your best, and at your worst.

And for the first time, that night, you think that maybe you could be worth it. 

---

“Y/N?” 

It’s not surprising that Tyson looks slightly confused and a little disheveled when he opens the door, because it’s only 9am, but you really couldn’t wait any longer. 

“You,” you breathe out. “It’s you.” 

“Huh?” Tyson rubs in his eyes, presumably trying to get rid of the sleep, and stares at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s me. I live here.” 

“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, what I deserve. What I’m worth. It’s you.” 

Tyson’s eyes widen and for a second, a terrifying, horrible second, you think you read it all wrong; he didn’t mean he wanted to be that, he was just being a good friend, he just wants somebody to be that, he didn’t mean...

“Finally,” Tyson grins. “I told JT you would get it after all the candles.” 

A weight lifts from your shoulders.

“It took more than just the candles,” you admit a bit sheepishly. “I guess I really needed you to spell it out for me.” 

Tyson opens the door wider, motions for you to come in. “I could relight some candles. I don’t think last night’s pasta is gonna be very good, but I have cereal.” 

“Hmm,” you pretend to think about it. “Aren’t I worth more than cereal?” 

He waggles his eyebrows. “Lucky Stars.” 

You step inside and throw your arms around his neck.

“Show me the way.” 

But then he leans in and his lips touch yours, and well. 

Cereal can wait, a bit.

[cheekyaleigh]

To Swing...

   I have thought about writing this topic several times over the past couple of weeks.  It seems to be an ever evolving and changing topic within Luke's and my relationship.  Our feelings seem to differ from one day to the next.  I think I will write this in two separate posts.  So how about let's back up and let me tell you how the topic came up in the first place.  

   The very first night Luke and I met in person was hands down the absolute best date I have ever been on.  We live about 60 miles apart so we had planned to meet on a Saturday night after a prior commitment of mine ended.  I knew that it was expected to be over and I should be home roughly around 8ish.  Luke drove up to my little town and we talked on the phone the whole drive.  He actually beat me to the restaurant so he was standing there waiting as I pulled into the parking lot.  

   "My God, you're tall!"  I laughed as I stood, getting out of the car.  Of course, he had met me at the car and opened the door for me before I even turned the car off.  His dating profile had told me his height but seeing it in person was still a shock.  

   Have you ever seen a picture of someone but then when you met them in person, they didn't look the same?  Maybe they were younger in the picture.  Maybe they had different hair.  Or glasses.  Or the angle just didn't capture their essence.  Maybe they looked worse than their photo.  Maybe they looked better. You get my point.

   That's what I was currently facing.  If I hadn't been talking to Luke as I drove up, I wouldn't have recognized him just going off of photos alone.  Don't get me wrong, his pictures were cute and showed a good looking enough guy.  But, in person?  Damn.  Luke may not be traditionally "handsome" but to me?  He is incredibly good looking!  I still look at him and think "How did I get so lucky?" But I digress.  Back to the swinging.  

   After dinner, neither of us were ready for our night to end.  "What do you want to do now?"  He asked.  

   "In this town?  Not much."  I laughed.  "I would invite you back to my place but there would have to be some stipulations agreed upon."  

   "Oh?  What are those?"  He eyed me carefully.

   "I am NOT going to have sex with you."  I already knew that I really liked him just from our previous messages and phone conversations.  But meeting him and talking during dinner reinforced that fact.  I knew I didn't want sex to complicate or confuse those feelings. I was still recovering from a long failed relationship, after all.

   We talked and he agreed so we went back to my place.  We sat up till 2 A.M. just talking.  Have you ever just had an amazing conversation with someone and next thing you know 5 hours has passed?  That's how this night went.  We talked about anything and everything.  No holds barred.  Childhood traumas, previous relationships, previous sexual exploits, family, etc.  Nothing was off limits.  

   If you've read my previous blog posts, I've mentioned that Luke has a very colorful sexual history.  There isn't much he hasn't done or won't do.  In his previous marriage, they started as swingers then moved to polyamory.  That caught my attention and not for the reason you're probably thinking.  No, I wasn't afraid that I wouldn't be enough for him.  I was actually enticed by the idea that he could possibly be open to swing again.  

   "Is that something that you would want to try again?"  I asked.

   In my previous marriage, I had been unhappy on and off for years for various reasons that I won't go into now.  At one time, I had tried to talk my ex into polyamory.  I thought I wanted a girlfriend.  Why?  Because, in my opinion, everything about a relationship and sex with a girl is different than it is with a man.  Not better, not worse.  Just different.  Sometimes I crave that feminine touch.  (Now, I realize that I don't really want a relationship with a female.  Just sex.)

   There have also been times in the past when I have been sexually attracted to someone but unable to act upon it because I was in a relationship.  I said as much to Luke.  Just the idea that he could be open minded enough to discuss the possibility with me was astounding.  

   He said, "I'm not saying that I would agree to let you sleep with him.  But if you were sexually attracted to someone, we could discuss it and see.  It would depend upon a lot of things.  Whether the person in question were trustworthy and would understand it was a one and done.  Whether we are in a good place in our relationship.  Because if a relationship isn't strong then swinging and/or polyamory is a bad idea."  

   Wow. Fast forward a few months. It had been a terrific night.  We had spent the day together and had ended up at the local Japanese restaurant.  Luke had tried to covertly place his hand between my thighs while the chef was putting on a show and throwing rice.  Hibachi was a favorite of mine but it was my first time actually watching the show.  (Side note: If you haven't been, I suggest you give it a try.  It's a lot of fun no matter your age.)  Needless to say, I was full of amazing food and a lot of laughs but couldn't wait to get home to fuck my boyfriend.  

   I was flying on nothing but happiness as we went to exit the restaurant.  As we approached, the exit door opened and the finest specimen of mucular male police officer stood before me.  (I TOTALLY have a thing for men in uniform.  Fugly?  Slap them in some BDU's and I'd probably fuck that.)

   The officer stood back and held the door open for us.  "How are you doing tonight?"  Ah, and he had a sexy voice to match.  

   My panties were thoroughly dampened at this point and I was feeling pretty bold.  I looked him down then back up and said "Fine and yourself?"  in the sultriest voice I could manage.  Luke gripped my hand and smiled as we made our way on out to the car.  He definitely took notice.

   "Baby, were you eye fucking that guy?"  He asked leaning over and rubbing my pussy thru my jeans.

   "Oh...So you noticed that?"  I said coyly.  "Maybe."

   "Of course I noticed.  Your voice was dripping with sex.  Want me to go back in and ask for his number for you?"  Still continuing to tease me as best he could thru the denim.

   "Have you lost your mind?!  NO!!"  I said, stupified.  Then, brazenly asked, "you would do that?"  I could tell he wasn't offended or upset or I wouldn't have asked.  And I wasn't asking because I wanted him to.  I was asking because it shocked the hell out of me.  

   "Of course.  If it's something you wanted.  Cops, in my experience, are pretty wild in bed. You probably would have enjoyed him."  Ah, my darling Luke and his straight forward, sometimes clinical, approach to things.  Typical Virgo. I assured him that there was no need for him to go talk to the cop so we began to make our way home.  

   "Ok, so purely hypotetical question. Say I get pulled over.  If the officer seemed interested, would you have a problem with me trading sexual favors to get me out of a ticket?"  I asked, honestly curious.

   "If it's something you discussed with me first, then no.  I wouldn't mind.  But we have to have completely open communication.  Now, with that being said, you better be careful propositioning an officer!"  

   The rest of this conversation isn't really relevant to what I'm trying to explain.  Only the fact that he again said he would be ok with me fucking someone else under the correct guidelines. This conversation was when I really started to believe that he may actually be that openminded.  

 To tell you the next tidbit, I need to tell you about Destiny.  When Luke first told me about Destiny, I was threatened.  They texted regularly.  They had also met on a dating site and had been on a couple of dates before agreeing that they needed to stay friends.  On one of these dates, they had made out and he had fingered her.  And she is SO pretty.  I mean...dayum. Curly black hair.  A fierce independent personality. Bisexual. Loves sex and refuses to be tied down to one person.  Destiny is the complete package of every single man's dream.

   The day we went to the adult toy store, see previous blog post, Luke had sent Destiny a text telling her about our purchases.  She text back telling him that she had recently ordered a spreader bar on Amazon and that she needed a willing participant to test it out on.  He told me, of course, and I laughed it off at the time.  

  I had given it a lot of thought and had decided that I was going to ask Luke to introduce me to Destiny.  I just wasn't sure how to broach the subject and explain exactly what I wanted.  I don't remember exactly what made me decide to talk to Luke about it this particular night but I decided to go for it.  I just remember that Destiny had came up in conversation.  He was telling me about a conversation they had earlier that day.

   "Baby, would you mind if I flirted with your friend?"  Ok, not the most tactful way to ask but hey, I was in uncharted territory here.

   "Uhh...what?"  He looked completely lost.

   "Well, you remember the comment Destiny made about the spreader bar?  Would you mind if I sent her a message and flirted a bit."  I asked again.  I was so nervous I couldn't make eye contact.

   "Oh!  I don't mind.  Here I'll unlock my phone for you."  So he did and handed it to me.  He appeared still slightly puzzled but had a knowing smile on his face.  

   I took a selfie and sent it to her with the caption of "A spreader bar, huh?"  

   While waiting for a reply, Luke asked "What are you hoping to accomplish with this?"  

   "I haven't thought that far ahead.  I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants.  I want to be ok with you talking to Destiny.  I know you guys are just friends.  But I don't think I will ever actually be ok with it until I meet her and get to know her."  Ok, perhaps a small fib.  I had seen pictures and knew enough about Destiny to know that I could probably get in her pants or us have a threesome pretty easily.  Since she and Luke were friends and he trusted her, I figured he would be ok with it.  

   Turns out, I was right.  On both counts.  The longer the texting went, I knew that eventually we would hang out and probably fuck.  

   So Luke and I discussed it and at length. While not opposed to the idea of swinging,  Luke does have some insecurities because of how his conniving bitch of an ex-wife acted while they were swinging.  So it was time I told him exactly what I was thinking and how I was feeling.

   "Luke, to be honest, I really want to be with a girl again.  I could never be in a relationship with a female because I am in the closet where my family is concerned.  But I really really want that feminine touch."  Yeah...my family is a long story for another time.  "I can say with certainty that I would never leave you for another female because I know that that isn't in the cards for me."  I really feel like he believes me on the female front.  We have discussed it at length so many times at this point.  

   As of the time I am originally writing this post, Destiny and I have hung out once but I was WAY too tired after a hell of a day to do anything.  Our work schedules are completely opposite and we have each had family obligations.  We still talk occasionally but I feel like we have all but given up on each other.

   Luke and I have created a profile on a swinger site but listed that we are only looking for a female.  I mean, the guy can watch but I only want to play with his wife.  As of yet, nothing has happened.  More on that in the next post.  Stay tuned...

[swaps55]

for the 'i love you' prompts: 17 or 28 for mshenko if you feel like it!

Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”

17. Folding their clean laundry and putting it away.

Shepard gently closes the bedroom door, wincing a little as the hinge squeaks. Every time Kaidan gets a migraine he means to do something about that squeak, every time he forgets. He folds his arms across his chest and glares at the hinge, like it’s the source of Kaidan’s misery. Well. He can’t fix it now without creating the very disturbance he’s trying to avoid, so he’ll just have to do it later.

Which is what he always thinks.

He works his jaw in frustration.

Usually, when Kaidan gets a migraine Shepard lays with him, spoons his back, strokes his brow, some form of contact. Maybe it helps Kaidan, maybe it doesn’t. But it certainly helps Shepard. Keeping him close, keeping him safe when he’s in pain, reassuring himself that Kaidan is still there, still breathing, makes it easier to ride it out when there’s nothing else he can do.

But with migraines like this one, Kaidan doesn’t want anyone or anything to touch him. Best thing to do is leave him alone in a dark, silent room with a cup of water on the nightstand until he feels human enough again to emerge.

Shepard fucking hates these migraines. Not just because of how miserable they make Kaidan, but because of how miserable they make him. Which only makes him hate them more.

It shouldn’t be about him. It should be about Kaidan.

He paces the hallway before swearing and forcing himself into the living room where he can’t see the closed door.

It’s selfish to be so petty about not being able to touch him. After everything Kaidan has put himself through for Shepard’s sake, the least Shepard can do is be gracious about giving him what he needs when he needs it.

He’s not gracious.

Which just frustrates him even more.

All the times Kaidan has kept his head above water. All the times Kaidan has put his own needs aside to see to Shepard’s. Shepard owes him more than he could ever give back in a lifetime, and yet every time he has the chance to do it even a little, he’s fucked it up.

It had taken two years to realize that Kaidan experienced panic attacks when Shepard went somewhere without saying something, or when he spent another sleepless night out on the porch swing or in the barn, leaving Kaidan to wake up alone.

Two fucking years he’d tormented the person he loved most and hadn’t realized it. Because Kaidan puts Shepard first no matter what, under the stubborn assumption that Shepard has suffered enough and it’s Kaidan’s turn to pay up.

As if Kaidan hadn’t mourned for two years only to nearly lose the person he loved a second time.

Shepard thunks down on the couch in the living room, head in his hands.

If only he could touch him.

With a grunt he gets to his feet, casting one more glance down the hall at the closed door. If he doesn’t find something to keep himself busy he’ll open the door to check on him and really fuck it up.

But as much as going to the barn to groom Echo might calm his nerves, he can’t risk Kaidan getting up and being unable to find him. He’s made that mistake before. Besides, Kaidan might need him, and he’ll be damned if he’s not there if it happens.

He wanders the house for about twenty minutes before he passes by the laundry room and spies two baskets of Kaidan’s dirty clothes, neatly separated into lights and darks.

Shepard’s been banned from touching Kaidan’s laundry just like he’s been banned from the stove, not because he can’t do it, but because one of the first things he got rid of after stepping away from the Alliance was the ingrained discipline of a neatly folded uniform.

“I’ve earned some fucking wrinkles,” he’d declared.

“You wrinkle your own clothes as much as you want,” Kaidan had replied with his usual good nature.

Kaidan’s renegade streak only stretches so far.

Shepard throws the clothes in the wash. Reads labels to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up. Shuts the door to the laundry room to keep the noise down. While the washer churns he puts the clean dishes away from last night’s dinner. He may be banned from the stove, but at least he makes up for it by taking care of the mess.

There’s mud from his boots on the floor by the back door, so he cleans it up. Knocks the dried mud off against the back steps and leaves the boots outside. There’s a popcorn bowl still on the coffee table from the movie they’d watched last night, so he takes care of it.

When the first load of laundry is done, he checks labels again, hangs what needs hanging and chucks the rest in the dryer, smiling when he spots Kaidan’s favorite shirt. Alliance blue, because there are some things you just can’t shake, with the words “I’m Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite t-shirt on the Citadel” printed on the front. It had been a joke gift from Garrus, but Kaidan had stolen it and wears it at least once a week.

When the dryer is going he runs the second load, then digs up a can of lubricant and sets it on the floor to the right of the bedroom door so he won’t forget the squeaky hinge. He listens for a few minutes, but there are no sounds of stirring from inside. The urge to go in, to lay his palm against Kaidan’s chest and feel him breathe, to wrap him up and hold him close is enough that his hand shakes, but he forces himself to walk away and put his hands to less selfish uses.

By the time he has a pile of laundry to fold the house is fucking spotless. He’d even scrubbed the toilet in the spare bathroom.

And because Kaidan would hate it otherwise, Shepard folds each shirt with the kind of military precision he hasn’t employed since boot camp.

Eventually he hears the shower kick on. A shower is a good sign. Means the worst is over, and he’s making efforts to feel human again. Shepard quietly enters the bedroom and glances towards the bathroom, tempted to join him, but Kaidan would have come and gotten him if that’s what he wanted. So instead he puts everything away and leaves the Citadel shirt out on the bed with a pair of lounge pants. He almost withholds the underwear, but Kaidan’s probably not going to be in the mood for that level of suggestion.

When he’s done, he makes sure the drapes are pulled shut in the living room, gets a fresh glass of water, a tray of carrot sticks, celery and green peppers along with some instant rice – Kaidan’s tried and true post-migraine hangover food – and waits on the couch.

When Kaidan stumbles out of the bedroom, hair still wet and sticking out at odd angles, wearing the clothes Shepard had laid out for him, Shepard’s heart skips a beat.

How did I ever get this lucky?

Kaidan mumbles a greeting before curling up on the couch like a cat, head in Shepard’s lap.

“Hey, you,” Shepard says softly, running fingers through his damp hair. “How do you feel?”

“Unf.”

Shepard smiles, the remnants of his pent-up anxiety bleeding away with each rise and fall of Kaidan’s chest.

“Did you do my laundry?” Kaidan asks.

“Yeah,” Shepard says, smoothing a rogue lock of hair away from his forehead. “Folded it right and everything.”

“Mmph,” comes the reply.

“Grand gestures are a little harder to come by when I can’t take a bullet for you, so hope you don’t mind a smaller one.”

Kaidans’ eyes are closed, but he smiles. “Thanks.” He hooks an arm around Shepard’s waist and sighs. Before long his breathing deepens, rhythmic and even instead of the labored sounds he makes when he’s in pain. Shepard glances towards the bedroom, eyes catching the can of lubricant waiting on the floor.

Later. He’ll take care of it later.

They’re going to be right here for a while. And Kaidan comes first.