#spiraled really bad last night

[cookinguptales]

been having a rough one, but it is kind of nice to sit on my couch wearing a cozy sweater. drinking a honey kolsch and listening to the rain. cat on my lap... sigh...

[imwritesometimes]

I have bad cramps and a migraine that's been trying to kill me all day and nausea and I was up all night in a horrific depresh spiral but I still cleaned the fck house and washed all the produce I want 10 million USD$

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[byanyan]

sat down at my laptop and my brain did an immediate "nope, not that" so. i guess i will try writing again later :/

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[stolenbythewestwind]

there is something inherently tragic yet freeing about knowing that, even though you didn't get what you needed when you were younger, it's still possible to build that life for yourself as an adult.

you're not trapped or destined for loneliness. you can always build. again and again and again, as many times as you need to. the love and the freedom and the kindness and the connection, it's all waiting for you. you'll get there.

[izzy-b-hands]

Trying to make my brain do anything today has just been case after case of 'well, half-assed is better than nothing I guess.'

[nintendont2502]

that fun moment when you realise some vaguely uncomfortable truths abt yourself but also you have No Clue what to do with them so you kinda just. ignore them

[pastafossa]

Hi pasta, I'm sorry about the whole fiberglass dust situation and all the things you had to throw away, i know that feeling unfortunately: i had a similar situation but with mold...i bad to throw away the majority of my clothes and some plushies which I was very fond of. Now back to u, how do u feel today? Is the coughing getting better or worse? Hope you'll feel better soon :)

Thank you so much. 😭 And it's exactly that. Like some of the things you have to throw away, ok, but some of them mean something, or you just really really liked them (I'm likely going to lose a few plushies either, so I feel you). I'm sorry you've had to go through this, too! I don't wish it on anyone, it's terrible having to deal with being forced to toss things like this.

I'm just tired and achy and out of energy, mostly (standard for my health issues), but the coughing is indeed better, and my chest doesn't hurt as much! So the masks clearly worked the past few days I was up there trying to clean, and sleeping downstairs is helping, too. I'm still coughing a fair amount but I'll take the improvement. I've also had a ton of people reaching out, either to offer encouragement or a fun distraction or even to help if they wound up being in my area, which has helped keep my mood from tanking as badly as it otherwise might have. I'm very VERY grateful for that love and support because it makes me feel less alone, especially when it can feel so isolating trying to take care of this in a new city. 💖

[wabblebees]

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[lusalemaart]

long string of doodle dumps again. as i Do

[v-iv-rusty]

idk I'm starting to think that healing from trauma/dealing with mental illness is just a lifelong cycle of constant death and rebirth. the snake eats its own tail again and again. or something lol

[kittlyns]

Working in an industry where everything about me has to be PERFECT to maintain the clientele I have is so........... draining, to say the least. I have these days/weeks/periods where I just cannot force myself to be cheerful or cool or funny and my client walks in and I KNOW that's what they want and expect from me and I just can't do it. So I struggle through our appointment feeling like a cheap copy of myself and I know they sense my entire personality is just a facade and. I just can't describe how awful it feels to have my livelihood hinge entirely on how well I perform as a new girl 4-8 times a day, 5 days a week, forever and ever and ever

[radioactiveryan]

still feeling like shit yippee

[l-cereta]

for real what are you supposed to do when you have a friend who's determined to get worse no matter what you do

[borkborkheresadork]

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