#spn sister one shot

[lostgirl677]

Home alone

One-shot

Winchester Brothers x Little sister! Reader

Masterlist

Request : Heyy, how are you doing? I was wondering if I could request for supernatural:3Maybe something where reader is Sam and Dean's little sister (13/14) and it's set on the first episode maybe.So, basically Sam leaves her home alone because he's going hunting with Dean, she finds out just in the morning because he hasn't left a note or anything and she starts to panic, but then she calls them and they calm her down?It's ok if you can't or don't take requests, I Hope you have a wonderful day! Remember to take care of yourself:3

A/N: Sorry it took a long time. I really do hope you'll like it. Maybe it won't be exactly how you expected it.

My eyes slowly opened as the birds sang softly near my window. I began to wipe the fatigue from my eyes as I sat up in bed. I had the weirdest dream last night. One where Dean entered the flat by a window and took Sam with him to find dad. It surely meant that I missed my dad and my brother after four years without seeing them. And Sam barely mentioning them nowadays didn’t help. As the drowsiness of sleep faded, I became aware of my surroundings and noticed that the apartment was eerily quiet this morning. This silence could only indicate two things: either it was very early, or I slept in. By the window, I could see that the sun was already up. I then decided to check my alarm to finally know what time it was. It was 8 AM. At least, I didn’t oversleep. Stretching my legs, I got up and made my way to the kitchen. Passing by the living room, I noticed that everything has been left untouched since yesterday. The coffee table was still covered in books and notebooks as well as various uncorked markers left haphazardly here and there. It was curious, since Sam was pretty much the tidy type, unlike Dean and I. I definitely won’t miss the opportunity to remind him that for once I was not the one leaving a mess behind.

But weirder, when I arrived in the kitchen I saw various cups and plates left on the table and the sink. Sam and Jess would never leave such a mess behind them. But they were probably still drunk from last night. “Sam? Jess?” I finally called. The silence was deafening. I thought for a second that maybe one of them was in the bathroom. So I came to the bathroom door and knocked softly. “Sam? Jess? Are you in there?” But again, complete silence was the only answer I got. There wasn’t even a water noise or the sound of someone brushing their teeth. There was only one room left, Sam and Jess’s. Maybe they were the ones oversleeping? I finally came to their room’s door. As I approached, I immediately noticed the absence of snoring noise. I then knocked on the door. I was once again met with utter silence. Frustration was slowly building in me. So I slowly opened the door and said “I’m coming inside! If I catch you doing something unsuitable for my innocent eyes, I won't be the most embarrassed!”. But, once the door was opened, I only saw a neatly made bed and an empty room.

I let out a rather loud sigh as I closed the door behind me. Maybe they went to the grocery store, or the library? I refuse to think about anything worse. But they would never leave me without at least a little note somewhere. So,  I made my way back to the kitchen to check the fridge to see if they left me a note. But there wasn’t anything in the fridge door or anywhere else. My heartbeat increased with each passing second. Panic was overtaking me and the worst case scenarios ran in my mind. What if something happened to them? What if our old ‘lifestyle’ finally caught up to us? Anxiety was slowly overwhelming me. But I tried to reassure myself and immediately thought about the table next to the door. I practically ran like a maniac toward it, in hope of finding something. But my hopes were crushed when I didn’t find a single note on the little notepad.

My last option was the phone. Thankfully, the little red light was flickering, indicating that someone had left a message. I pushed the button and silently prayed. But when I played the voicemail, I noticed that there wasn’t any message coming from Sam or Jess. I tried to call Jess and Sam right away. But I managed to get voicemail for both of them. “Sam, please! At least tell me you’re okay. I’m anxious. Please call me back soon!” I was really having trouble breathing. I let myself slide down the wall behind me and ended up sitting on the cold wooden floor. The flood of scary thoughts came back to torment me.

I always knew what lurked in the dark. Dad had made sure of it since I was little. Hell, he practically handed me a dagger when I told him I was afraid of monsters under my bed. Thankfully, Dean and Sam always made me feel safe. Even if I was only their half-sister, Dean and Sam were always there with me and never ostracized me for not having the same mother. If anything happened to them, I didn’t know what I would do. When Sam left for Stanford, he took me with him, leaving Dean and dad behind. They were always on my mind and I missed them everyday, especially Dean. He raised me more than dad ever did. I often had nightmares where something bad happened to them. What if it already happened and Sam was the next to die? What if…? My fear overwhelmed me and clouded my mind with the most horrific visions of my family’s corpses.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the phone ringing. Without even thinking, I jumped and threw myself on the phone. “Y/N?” His voice made my heart jump. “Sam?! Where are you? Are you okay? Where’s Jess?” I blurted out in haste, almost out of breath. “Easy, Y/N. Everything’s okay. Jess is at the library. She probably forgot to tell you, sorry. She’ll come back soon. I’m…” There was another male voice interrupting him. I recognized it right away. “Dean?! Oh my god, Dean! I’m so glad to hear your voice. I missed you so much.” I practically screamed on the phone. I heard a bit of bickering when Dean took the phone.”Happy to hear your voice too, sis. I miss you too.” I could hear the smile in his voice. I never felt more relieved in my life. But suddenly, I realized that if these two were together, it meant that something bad happened. “What happened?”, I asked anxiously. There was a bit of silence before Dean replied “Well, dad didn’t come back from one of his hunts. So I came to your apartment last night to get Sam’s ass in the car and try to find dad.” So, I heard them last night. I thought that it was a dream.

“But, why didn’t you take me with you?” I asked and I knew that hurt was evident in my voice when I heard him sigh. “Listen Y/N, we didn’t want you involved in this. You finally have a normal life and we couldn't take it away from you just like that. It’s just another hunt involving what we think is a kind of ghost. It’s basically milk run for us. Soon, I’ll drive Sam back and you’ll keep living your life as if nothing happened.” “A normal life?! Are you kidding? I still sleep with a dagger under my pillow, just in case.” I heard Dean taking a deep breath. He was probably looking for a witty comeback , as always. But before he could answer, I heard Sam. “Y/N, we’re really sorry. But we didn’t know whether it was dangerous or not. We can’t risk losing our baby sis. Dean and I are going to be careful and I promise we’ll be back soon.” “We? Dean will join us?” I asked, hopeful. There was a bit of silence before I heard Dean reply “Well, we’ll see kiddo. It’s up to Sammy.” I heard Sam protesting at the nickname. “I just want to have my brothers with me.” I said, my voice cracking a bit. “I know, sweetheart.”, said Dean in a breath. “It’s a matter of days, I promise. We’ll find that bitch’s corpse, salt and burn it. We’ll be with you in no time.” He said in a reassuring tone. I smiled a little, but it didn’t reach my eyes. “What about dad?” I finally asked. “He can’t be that far. Don’t worry.”, said Sam. “Also, I’m sorry I didn’t leave a note. I didn't have the time.”, he added. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Just promise me you’ll both be careful and come back safe.” “We promise.”, they said in unison. “And please, update me whenever you can. I love you, goofs.” I heard them laugh. “Okay. We love you too, sis. See you soon.”, said Dean. And they hung up the phone.

I fell back on the floor, half relieved and half anxious. Trouble was definitely on the way, but at least, they were okay. I just had to wait for their next call. A sudden noise made me jump. To my relief, it was Jess. “Hey, Y/N! Sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to the library. But I figured that you would forgive me if I came back with your favorite pie.”, she said while shaking a bag. I got up and hugged her. She hugged me back while laughing a little “Wow. I know you love pie but not at this point.” She didn't know how  happy I was to see her. 

 Timeskip

Fire, fire everywhere. Jess was on the ceiling, burning and bleeding. I couldn’t do anything to help her. Dean had to grab both Sam and I before fire could attain us. Her face, her cries for help, it was replaying in my mind endlessly. I would never be able to forget it. 

Dean sat me on the curb, in the midst of the chaos around us. “Y/N, are you okay?”, he asked with a concerned voice. I vaguely nodded my head, still in shock. I couldn't even cry. I threw a glance at Sam. He was devastated. He was crying hard while clinging to me as if he was afraid I would disappear. They finally both took me in their arms. I missed that. But it was sad to have to wait for such a tragedy to finally have my brothers with me. After a moment, Dean sighed and  said “ I guess you’ll have to come with us, now.” And in no time, I was on the backseat of the Impala while Dean was driving to our next destination. 

@hobby27 @deans-spinster-witch

[kaleldobrev]

Unexpected Love

Pairing: Ash x Sister!Winchester!Reader

Summary: Ash is your mullet knight in flannel armor

Original Prompt: Requested by anonymous | Hiii, I saw you write for spn and I throught about making a request. Idk if you even remember Ash, he's seen in season 2 but for like, just 5 minutes in total so I'm not gonna be mad if you don't remember him, but I throught about asking you if you could write something for him with Reader that's Dean and Sam's little sister? You can write what you want, even something bite sized, I just feel like he's not appreciated enough 🥺 It's ok if you don't want to write it, and take your time if you do. Have a good day 💕

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Cursing (1x), Fluff, Sam & Dean just being protective/supportive older brothers

Authors Note: Of course I remember Ash my anon friend! How could I not remember Doctor Badass? | Since you told me to write whatever I wanted, I decided to do a cute little romance between him and reader cause hey, he needs some love too! | He’s honestly one of my favs | I hope you liked how this came out! I never wrote Ash before, so I hope I was able to do his character justice! | Takes place in Season 2 obviously | Flashbacks are in italics | If you want to request something, just send me a message! | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Dating was something that was always particularly hard for you as you’ve been consistently on the road with your father and brothers since you were six months old. The four of you never staying in the same place long enough for you to ever form any kind of connection with anyone. In a way, you thought that it was a good thing considering this line of work, but at the same time, human connection was something that you craved, yearned for. Yes, you had a strong bond with your brothers (Sam more than Dean – twin power you know?), and kind of had a strong bond with your father, but the bonds that you had with the three of them weren’t particularly fulfilling for you. You always felt like there was something missing.

At one point when you were seven or eight, long before you had learned of the supernatural, you had asked your father once when the four of you were in the car if you could stay at Uncle Bobby’s for a while.

“I’m tired of moving around so much daddy. Can I stay at Uncle Bobby’s for a while?” You had told him, asked him; silence filled the impala, despite the music being so loud.

Sam turned to face you before turning to look at your father – you knew that Sam had felt the same way. Dean turned to look at you, craning his neck as he was in the front seat along with your father who was currently driving to the next motel. It would have been the third motel in less than two weeks. Your father looked into the rearview mirror, looking at you as you started playing with your thumbs. “I’m sorry…” You whispered.

When the four of you had gotten to the motel, Dean had practically pulled you to the side while your father and Sam had started bringing things into the motel room. “Why do you want to get away from dad so bad?” He asked, almost as if he was offended.

“I want to stay in one place longer than two days.” You said. “Motels smell funny.”

Dean scoffed. “So does Uncle Bobby’s house.”

That was the last time you had ever asked.

Even if you had found yourself lucky to pull a date, something or someone would always get in the way. Either a hunt would take precedence, or one of your brothers (usually Dean) would “accidentally” interrupt the date. With either scenario, the guy you had landed the date with would either never call you make again – despite your efforts of trying to make something work or, they would outright tell you to never call them again.

As the years went by, you had simply come to the conclusion that you were destined to never find love, destined to spend the life on the road with your brothers as hunters.

“Come with me.” Sam said to you, a few weeks before he had told you, Dean, and your father that he was going to be leaving to go to Stanford.

“I can’t Sammy. I don’t have a full ride like you do.” You said. “Besides, he’d be too fucking worried if I went.”

“But we’d be together Y/N. It’s not like we’d be by ourselves.” He said. He wanted you to come with him, despite not really interested in the whole college thing; but he knew hunting was something that you had never wanted to do. You wanted that white picket fence life like he wanted.

“I can’t…leave Dean with dad.” You told him. As much as you had wanted to go with him, you couldn’t leave Dean and dad alone, as you were usually the buffer between them. Yes, they rarely got into fights but when they did…it got bad.

You were fully prepared to do the whole one night stand thing for the rest of your life. At least you would have some kind of human connection, even if it was just for a little while. Hell, it’s been working out just fine for Dean, why wouldn’t it work for you? But that was until you met Ash.

Ash was an interesting person; someone that you thought you wouldn’t have ended up with. Despite knowing him less than a year, he was someone that you could actually imagine spending your life with (no matter how long that life span may be). You had first met him about a few months after the death of your father when your brother Sam was listening to your father’s voicemails.

“He’s always been so secretive.” You told them, upon hearing the sound of a woman’s voice in one of the voicemails – a woman that called herself Ellen.

“Think dad ever had a thing with her and it ended badly? Maybe that’s why he never told us about her.” Sam theorized.

His theory caused your other brother to give a disgusted look. “Gross, now I’m thinking of dad having sex.” Dean said, his voice sounding just as disgusted.

“You are far too pretty to be with these two.” Was one of the first sentences that Ash had ever uttered to you. A sentence that had made you laugh, but a sentence that offended your eldest brother Dean the most.

The relationship between you and Ash was something that you honestly didn’t expect to happen. Not because he wasn’t your type, but because you had thought that there would be no possible way to maintain a relationship given the fact that you were always on the road.

“You know this isn’t going to work out right?” You had told Ash, the day you and your brothers had gotten back to the Roadhouse after completing the Rakshasa case.

Ash looked at you, trying his best to play it cool as your brothers were only standing within earshot. “That’s the beauty of technology. You’d only be a phone call away.” He said. Him saying this was something that you had never really thought about previously; but it was something that had made perfect sense to you.

“If someone wants to be with you kid, they’ll make the effort.” Bobby told you numerous times growing up. For years, it was a line you thought that he just said in order to make you feel better. But for the first time in your life, you realized that Ash was the only guy in your life (besides your brothers and your father) that had actually wanted to make the effort.

“You and Ash still going strong uh?” Dean asked, leaning up against Baby.

“Uh, yeah.” You replied. “Still trying to get used to the whole long distance thing.”

“That’s fair.” He said. “At least you guys text and call right?”

“Yeah.” You nodded.

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Do you not want to talk about this? Thought this would be something you’d be all over.”

“Dean, you and Sammy have never been people I’ve spoken to about guys before. Nor have either of you really asked. Why the sudden interest in Ash and me?” Whenever you had crushes on people in the past, you had never once found yourself gunning to tell one of your brothers or your dad. You knew that it would only end badly; especially if you told your father or Dean.

He shrugged. “Can’t your brother just be interested in your relationship for once?”

“Not without ulterior motives he can’t.” You gave him a look, your brother automatically looking offended.

“Me? Have an ulterior motive? Honestly sis, I’m offended.” He scoffed.

“It’s kind of your MO brother.” You said. Dean opened up his mouth as if to say something; to try and get himself out of whatever hole he had dug himself into. But there was nothing that he could possibly say to get out of it. He instead just closed his mouth.

“Look, I’m just happy for you. Truly I am.” He actually sounded sincere. “You know me and Sammy just worry.”

“And you know just as well as I do that I can kick either of your asses.” You said. “I can take care of myself just fine. And Ash…neither of you have anything to worry about honestly.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking Ash.” You said, sitting on the trunk of Baby while your brothers were inside of the motel room. Being outside was the only source of privacy that you could possibly have when being on the phone.

“What’s up Missus Badass?” He asked, hearing the smile in his voice.

“I was thinking, after we finally kill Yellow Eyes…I’m going to quit hunting.” You said. “How would Ellen and Jo feel about me working at the Roadhouse?” Your tone half joking and half serious. Ash was silent for a moment, more quiet than he normally was whenever he was on the phone. “Ash? I didn’t lose you did I?”

“No…No…” He began. “They’d love to have you.”

“Yeah?” You asked. “You know, I am very familiar with the workings of a bar.”

“If I didn’t know you so well, I would be concerned by that statement. But, since you are a Winchester, I ain’t the least bit surprised.” He said.

“Yeah. I’ve been hustling pool, and playing poker before I reached puberty.” You laughed a little. “As Sammy would say, the way we were raised was jacked.” You paused. “But hey, at least I met you.”

“Your mullet knight in flannel armor.” He said serious.

“Oh, I like the sound of that.” You smiled. The motel door opened, your brothers coming out. “I gotta go but…I love you.” You whispered the I love you. Hoping that it was just loud enough for Ash to hear, but low enough for your brothers not to.

Your I love you had caught him slightly off guard, but it was something that he enjoyed hearing you say. “I love you too.” He responded back. You were happy that he said it back, afraid that you might of said it too soon. For the first time in a long time, you had felt like you might actually get that happy ending you have always wanted: a life away from hunting.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 If you'd like to be added to a tag list, let me know!

[kaywinchester]

Racing

anon request: I've read all of your fics and I love them all! Can you please write a dean x sister fic where she is a literal toddler?Like dean and her are just playing and he unknowingly says something that he doesn't expect a toddler to get affected by? that makes her sad and she just runs and stays with sam. And eventually dean confronts her and talks to her? Maybe he could have said that they weren't buddies anymore (playfully of course) but the toddler sister takes it to heart?Thanks! Have a nice day byeeeew

Word Count: 716

Dean’s age- 19 Sam’s age- 15 y/n’s age- 5

A/N: a little au setting where the winchesters grow up with a little sis on the road :3 also hello! I know it’s been a while, I have a few requests to work on and I feel bad I haven’t gotten to them yet but ya know, life lately. Hope everyone is doing well! :)

“Deeean, Deeeaann!” y/n’s little voice echoed through out the room.

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s goin on?”

“Can you play horsies wifth me?” y/n asked sweetly as she held up her toys.

Dean sighed “Yeah, c’mon let’s go ahead.” He sat down.

Having a toddler in the Winchester’s life wasn’t always easy. Sam and Dean wouldn’t trade their little sister for the world, but to have John always in and out during the weeks and leaving y/n in the care of her brothers wasn’t fair to them. 

“Okay, you can be this brown horsie wifth white spots.” y/n held out her plastic toy horse in Dean’s face.

“Wow, this one has really soft hair!” Dean said with a little over excitement. 

“She does, the farmers brush her haiwr every day.” y/n smiled. “Okay, let’s go wriding now.”

“Giddy up horsey!” Dean said as he controlled the toy horse next to y/n’s 

“Dee, no. I have the faster horse, you can’t go in front of me.” y/n put her hand in front of the toys. She always liked to have some sort of order to her playtime, a sense of control which she probably got from Dean. 

“Well I’m older, so my horse is gonna be a little bit faster.” Dean sighed.

“Nuh uh! I have the black horse, like daddy’s car and it’s way faster.” y/n argued.

“I guess we can’t be friends anymore if you think you’re gonna beat me in this race kiddo.” Dean joked. 

Y/n paused and looked at Dean with serious puppy eyes. “You said we’ll always be fwiends.”

“I don’t think that’s the case anymore.” Dean shrugged.

y/n dropped her horse and stood up with tears forming in her eyes. Dean looked up and saw that y/n took him seriously. “N-n-no, y/n/n....”

She walked away to look for Sam who wasn’t anywhere in the motel room, which meant he was outside doing homework on the picnic table as he normally would if it was a nice day.

y/n wasn’t tall enough to look out the window, instead she reached up and turned the doorknob with both hands and spotted Sam outside. Dean was quick to watch her movements as he didn’t want to let her out of his sights. He watched as she ran to Sam who spotted her troubled face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sam hunched over to her level, looking like she was about to start crying.

“Dee s-said I’m not his fwiend anymore.” she said through staggered breaths, looking up to Sam.

He lifted her up onto his lap and glanced towards their motel room to see Dean standing in the doorway with a frown. 

“What do you mean? Dean will always be your friend.” Sam reassured as he fixed the hair that was in her face.

“Does that mean you’re not my fwiend...” y/n hiccuped.

“No, no. I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” Sam sighed. It was these moments that he tried to be the best brother he could, he and Dean both. It wasn’t fair to y/n to have to rely on both brothers like parents. 

They each had their own lives to focus on but they knew their situation was different because of unfortunate circumstances. So they did their best to be there for their little sister.

Dean walked over to a grumpy looking y/n. “Sweetheart, I was just joking. You know we’re best buds, right?”

“You’re not vewy funny.”

Sam gave a snarky look to his brother, who shot back at him with an eye roll. 

“You’re right on that one, I’m not very funny.... But, I’m sorry kiddo, can I have a hug?” Dean pleaded.

“Do you pwomise? You’re my fwiend forever?”

“I promise y/n/n.” 

y/n held out her pinky. “I pinky promise too.” Dean smiled. “Now how bout you get back in there, you have a race to win!”

y/n giggled and hopped off Sam’s lap after he placed a kiss on her head, almost forgetting completely what had upset her in the first place.

Sam watched her run back to the room with excitement to resume playing. “You know she’s gonna be the boss when it comes to her horses.” Sam laughed, turning his attention back to his book.

“I won’t overstep next time....” Dean smirked as he turned to follow y/n back inside. 

Tags

@jackjackljaqui ​@hunting-the-grievers @susan-is-in-the-house@flirtyonsie @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @justsomedreaming 

[rustys-lodge]

Requested by anon : Hey could I request a spn fic? With Dean and Sam and a little sister reader, and it’s during one of their big fights (like one where they ended up parting ways for a while, like when they fight about John in season 1, or about how to kill Lilith later in the show, or whichever one you want), and they have to make her pick who she goes with? And she’s like super upset cuz she doesn’t want to pick between them.

Warnings : just angst

-----

After a lot of ear-deafening yelling, Dean and Sam decided to split ways. One could not stand the other anymore. But who could both of them stand ? You.

So there you were, in the dead of night, ONCE again, in the middle of a family breakup.

"Come on, baby. You know i'll--i'll take better care of you." Sam took a pleading step towards you, to which you responded with a step back.

You couldn't do this anymore. Each one of them using their "kindness" towards as leverage.

"I won't come home drunk to you, every night." He shot a deadly look to Dean. Ouch.

Overwehlmed. And devastated. You huffed.

Your brothers are fighting, again. And they're both trying to get you to come with them. You'd be flattered, but they're fighting over you. And it's getting somehow claustrophobic. And you're close to fuming.

"You know that i won't leave you...Come with me." Sam sounded more convincing than Dean, who...hasn't said a word in a while. That is until Sam spoke again, causing a scoff to break Dean's silence.

"You won't leave her, you mean like the first time...Oh wait ! the second too. And the th-"

"I'm here you ffuckers." A sudden shout erupted from your throat and your eyes furiously dart from one boy to the other.

"He-"

"Oh shut up, Dean. Now's not the time to play big brother, alright ?" You grimace and Dean drops his eyes to the floor, nodding to himself.

And before it fully quieted down, Dean spoke.

"You know what, kid ?"

Your heart skipped a beat at the sudden change in your brother's voice. Not that he yelled or anything. But a sudden seriousness laced his voice. A sudden acknowledgement of the situation, if you may say.

He sounded done.

"I got it ! We're both fuckups and you're not sure which fuckup to choose." Dean lifted his head slightly, heading for his pre-prepared bag. He "You want to go with me ? fine. You want him ? Fine as well. You want to go alone ? Might as well do that." He raised his chin in disappointment.

"I'll be at the bar, and if you're not there in an hour. I'm gone, Y/n." Dean looked you straight in the eyes. "Gone." Before marching towards the door, not one single peek back.

You staggered back until you plumped on the bed, bouncing on the latter as your back hit the covers.

you took a deep breath in, because there you were, suddenly drowning in a sea of thoughts. Because who would you choose ??

------

Short and angsty because we love short and angsty ! Who would you choose ? ❤️❤️❤️⚘️⚘️⚘️

[mirkwoodshewolf]

First heartache is hard; Jack Kline x reader

*Author's note*

Well this only took me two days to write which I do like when I can easily write a story that fast hehehe so @gabrielasilva1510 here is your ANGSTY Jack Kline request.

Warning: MAJOR ANGST, Character death, NO FLUFF AT ALL ONLY HURT, blood, violence (this is supernatural afterall so SPN level of violence). Basically get your tissues ready cause this is a sad one.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

___________________________________________________________

Jack stood outside in the cold night after a long training session with Bobby.  Now that his grace was gone, he had to build up his strength mortally, which meant getting punched and falling down a lot, and getting hurt whilst getting beaten down.  He thought he had felt powerless before, but his mind always went back to what happened that night at the church.  The moment he truly felt powerless.

The night he had lost you.

*Flashback*

Bobby, Mary and (Y/n) stood in the main lobby of the bunker still debating about who in the world would wanna kill Maggie.  After questioning all the hunters from the apocalypse world, they decided that none of them had any motive to hurt her, and that maybe it was just some creep or psycho looking to murder and innocent girl in the woods.

“I mean it’s not uncommon. That’s what happened to my mom’s sister once when they were younger. Some bastard slit her throat, raped her, and dumped her body over the bridge. That’s when I learned that there are more monsters in humanity than there are in the supernatural sense.” (Y/n) said.

“She’s not wrong.” Mary said supporting (Y/n’s) statement.  As Bobby nodded, they soon heard footsteps and that’s when they saw Jack.

“Oh Jack.” (Y/n) sighed with relief but before she could race up to hug him, they were horrified to see Lucifer coming up behind him.

“Hey~” Lucifer greeted with a small wave.

“Kid, what in the sam hell is—?!” demanded Bobby but Jack interrupted him.

“It’s okay. He’s here to help.”

“Him!?” (Y/n) asked exasperatedly.

“Yeah tigress, me.” Lucifer said booping her nose to which she cringed and slapped his arm away from her.  “Okay touchy-touchy Ms. Temper pants.” He said walking away following his son to where Maggie lay dead.

“Call Sam now!” Mary whispered urgently to Bobby as she and (Y/n) followed Lucifer and Jack while Bobby made a call to the boys.

“So you’re leaving dead bodies on tables now? Nice.” questioned Lucifer.

“We were waiting to give her a hunter’s funeral.” (Y/n) said.

“You won’t have to. My father he’s going to bring Maggie back to life.”

“Jack what are you doing?” asked Mary.

“What I have to do. This is my second chance.” Jack answered.

“Jack,” (Y/n) started.  “What happened to Maggie was a horrible thing that never should’ve happened. But it was beyond your control. You couldn’t have known when or where she’d be attacked and murdered.”

“But I promised her I’d keep her safe. All of them.”

“There are some things that you can’t prevent Jack.”

“I’d listen to your little girlfriend son. Plus this whole resurrection thing is kinda tricky. People don’t often come back as themselves.”

“Sam didn’t.” Said Jack.

“Yeah well Sam’s always been a little—in the head to begin with.”

“And like you’re not?” sassed (Y/n).  Lucifer snide at her comment.

“You said you’d do anything.” Jack told him.  The intense look in his eyes soon made Lucifer relent and he did what Jack said he’d do.  Placing his hand on Maggie’s forehead, his eyes glowed red and suddenly Maggie shot up gasping for air.  Immediately, (Y/n) grabbed Jack’s hand and took him out of the room and they came into the kitchen.

“(Y/n) what—”

“What deal did he offer you?” she interrupted him.

“What?”

“Back there, when you told him that he’d do anything you’d ask. What was the deal he offered you?” Jack looked at the harsh stare of her (e/c) eyes and told her.

“We’re gonna see the galaxy together. Like in Star Wars. But I said I’d only go if he helped bring Maggie back.” (Y/n) looked at Jack in shock.

“What? You’re going with him?”

“Well not just me,” Jack stepped forward and took both of her hands into his, gently stroking the back of her knuckles.  “I also said I wanted you to come along too. You always said you wanted to see the stars up close.”

“Jack I—” (Y/n) was a mixture of emotions.  Horror, shock, perplexed, torn, and upset.  “Lucifer he’s…..I can’t.”

“Why not?” Jack asked.

“Jack, there’s nothing in this world that I would like more than to explore the galaxy with you, but with Lucifer tagging along. Something doesn’t sit right with me.”

“He’s changed. He really wants to try (Y/n). Would the old Lucifer have offered you to come along with us?”

“I know that no matter old or new Lucifer, whatever he claims to be now, he’s always gets something out of his deals. And if he doesn’t, he’ll take it anyways.” Jack dropped (Y/n)’s hands, his chest rising and falling as he tried to control his anger.

“Why can’t you be happy for me for once?!”

“Jack I have always been happy for you! Looking out for you! Besides Cas and Sam, I’ve always been the one that’s always in your corner! But you can’t trust what Lucifer says! Believe me I know.”

“Oooo, did I come at a bad time?” Lucifer’s voice spoke out as he peeked his head from the kitchen door before walking inside.

“Get out!” demanded (Y/n).

“I’ll admit son, you at least picked one with fire in her.”

“How the hell did you get back here!?” snapped (Y/n).

“Does it really matter?”

“Let me think, yes it does! Now quit stalling and tell him what you’re really here for!”

“What I’m—listen (n/n) I already told him. I want to take my son to see the galaxies, the stars, hell the entire universe itself. I’m done playing second fiddle to pops and his game. I wanna be removed from the chess board completely and not have to worry about anything than showing my son the wonders of the universe. With you of course by his side if you choose to go.”

“I wouldn’t go anywhere with you if my life depended on it!” (Y/n) snarled with a sneer.  Lucifer shrugged.

“Alright well, there’s no changing your mind. Let’s bounce son.” Jack slowly walked towards him but (Y/n) grabbed his hand and pleaded to him.

“Jack please, don’t go with him. He’s using you.”

“Would you mind stop gaslighting my own son against me? Geez that’s the thing with you women sometimes, especially teenage girls.”

“Jack. Jack please.” Jack turned to her and said.

“He’s my father.” (Y/n) stood there stunned and released his hand and watched hopelessly as the two of them vanished from the kitchen.

“(Y/n)!? (Y/n)!!” soon Bobby came in and he looked around and asked, “Where’s the kid?” (Y/n) buried her face into her hands and wept.  Bobby then walked up and awkwardly wrapped his arms around the weeping girl before bringing her back to rejoin Mary and the newly resurrected Maggie.

When the brothers and Cas returned, they had told that Michael had also somehow managed to come into this world along with Lucifer.  That to (Y/n) struck a chord in how Lucifer must surely been planning something.  There’s absolutely no chance that those two archangels would willingly team-up to escape apocalypse world.  And with Maggie’s death it—it can’t be a coincidence.  She stood up and walked off.

“Uhh (Y/n) where are you going?” asked Dean.

“To talk to Maggie.” Sam immediately took off and stopped her and he said to her, “Hey, hey relax okay? Look mom told us what happened and to interrogate her now while she’s still trying to wrap her mind about being resurrected it—”

“I know Sam. You Winchesters aren’t the only ones to have been resurrected. But I have to know just who killed her. This all is one too big coincidence for them to have come back and Maggie ends up dead the same day they both come through their own rift.”

“You think it was one of them that killed Maggie?”

“Like I said, it’s a hunch but it’s too big of one to ignore.”

“Then let me come with you.”

“You just want to keep an eye on me because of my impatience.” She snapped accusingly.

“That and I also want to find out the truth. Hey,” Sam could sense the anxiety running through (Y/n)’s body about Jack.  “We’re gonna find him.”

“He’s…..” (Y/n) trailed off before confessing her deep secret.  “He’s my best friend. I—I can’t lose him.”

“We won’t. We’ve got everyone looking for them. Now let’s go see about your hunch.” Sam and her walked to where Maggie was sitting in the library trying to process everything that had just happened. “Maggie?” Sam broke her silence as she slightly jumped and turned her attention to Sam who sat down beside her at the table that was once her deathbed.  “Hey, sorry. You okay?”

“I’m alive so…..yes.” she replied.

“Right. So listen, we know this is all weird right now but uhh…..before you died, do you remember anything about the person that killed you?”

“Does it really matter? I mean don’t you guys have a lot bigger Satan-y stuff to deal with right now?”

“Yes but it’s getting handled. For now, just answer Sam’s question.” (Y/n) said.  Maggie took a deep breath in before saying.

“I—never saw his face. But…..I saw his eyes.”

“His eyes?” asked Sam.  Maggie nodded.

“They were—unlike anything I had seen before. Those bleeding red, glowing eyes.” Once they heard that, both Sam and (Y/n) looked at each other in shock.

“I knew it!” (Y/n) muttered under her breath but at that moment, a sudden loud boom sounded off from outside.  It almost sounded like a firework or a bomb had went off close by, then the lights began flickering on and off.  The three of them went to rejoin Dean and the others as the front doors of the bunker began to jostle and bang loudly, like someone was trying to break in. “Ahhh shit.” (Y/n) said under her breath.

“Mom, Bobby, take Maggie out of here through the garage.” Sam said.

“We’ll buy you some time.” Dean said.

“What no!?” Mary said but Sam told her not to argue and soon Bobby had to drag her and Maggie out of the room to make their escape.  (Y/n) came and stood beside Cas who put an arm around her as the doors continue to jostle and the banging grew louder.  The two of them took out their blades as Sam and Dean readied their guns.

After what felt like an eternity, the door finally caved in and fell with a bang as a bright light shone through the bunker.  And soon walking in with his head held high was Michael.  Immediately Sam and Dean began to open fire at the archangel but being what Michael was, the bullets had absolutely no affect on him.  The archangel slowly levitated himself down to the floor from the catwalk entrance and Cas made the first attack with his angel blade.

But Michael easily overpowered Cas and had him flying over the table and across the room, knocking him unconscious.  (Y/n) took out her curved scythes and slashed at Michael.  He dodged each attack until he grabbed (Y/n)’s left wrist and disarmed her before breaking her arm.  She let out an agonizing scream before Michael palm-strike her straight at her chest, sending her flying and slamming into the wall.

“You really thought you could run from me?” sneered Michael.  Sam immediately went on the attack after (Y/n) had been injured but Michael easily overpowered him as well as Dean who more than anyone, put up a fight towards Michael.  But the archangel soon had Dean by the throat.

“How did you—” Dean started to say but Michael interrupted him.

“Get here? Easy. I made a deal. And now this world is mine, I can save it, purge it of sin.”

“Yeah cause that really worked out on your rock.”

“Well I’m not perfect. And yes I made mistakes, but hey second times the charm.” As (Y/n) cradled her broken arm she muttered under her breath in prayer.

“Jack. Jack I don’t know if you’ll even hear this prayer but—we need you. He’s here……Michael is here. Please, help us. He’s gonna kill us.” As Michael and Dean continued to talk back and forth of each other until Michael squeezed Dean’s throat even harder almost to the point where his bones could be heard snapping (but not enough to kill him).

As Dean was starting to slip away under Michael’s grip, the archangel was suddenly thrown back against a pillar by a familiar golden aura of power.  Dean let out a loud intake of air and coughed harshly.  Everyone looked up to see that Jack had come back.

“Jack.” Sam said as he was finally able to stand up.

“I heard your prayers.” Jack only turned to look at (Y/n) and when he had seen the woman he secretly loved hurt, rage slowly began to simmer within him.

“Yeah it’s me, yay. Uhh we done yet buddy?” Lucifer also said as he had appeared behind Jack.  He then tried to get Jack to leave now that Michael had been subdued, but it wasn’t enough for Jack.

First thing he did was walk up to (Y/n), knelt down beside her and healed her broken arm thanks to the teaching he learned from Cas.

“You okay?” he softly asked as he cupped her left cheek.

“For now.” Jack softly smiled but his soft side melted away as anger and rage now consumed him as he turned his attention to Michael.  His eyes glowed as he raised his hand up and slowly walked towards Michael and said angrily.

“You hurt my friends.” Michael let out a pained groan as he hunched forward, almost as if something were burning him from the inside out.  “You hurt my family!” Jack soon yelled as Michael screamed and felt his insides being crushed.  “You hurt (Y/N)!!” as he clenched his hand into a fist now, Michael’s vessel started to bleed from his eyes and his ears.

Everyone, including Lucifer stood there in shock at just how much power Jack held.

“LUCIFER WE HAD A DEAL!!” Michael exclaimed as he slid down to the ground in pain.

“Okay, game over. Hey buddy let’s….let’s split.” Lucifer said with a snap of his fingers wanting to lead Jack away.

“What does he mean?” Jack asked as he turned to his father.  Lucifer began stammering almost trying to play dumb but Dean soon said.

“They had a deal.” Jack then turned to Dean as he continued, “Lucifer gets you, and Michael gets everything else. He’s gonna nuke our world, Jack. Just like he did his.”

“Is this true?” Jack asked his father.

“No! It’s not.”

“Is that why you wanted us to leave? And why you knew (Y/n) wouldn’t come with?”

“Leave? (Y/n) what do you know about this?” Sam asked her.

“Lucifer told him they were going to see the stars. Then Jack said he’d only go with his dad if I got to go with them. But I refused because Lucifer would be the main tag along.”

“What you were just gonna leave the rest of us to burn?” Cas said as he was finally able to stand up after his fight with Michael.

“Okay, okay let’s slow down for a second. Are we forgetting who the real bad guy is?”

“Yeah trying telling that to Maggie dumbass.” (Y/n) snapped.

“What about Maggie?” Jack asked with a crack in his voice.

“You know you’ve done some dumb things Lucifer but even you must’ve known this would turn and bite you in the ass. Jack, Maggie saw the eyes of her killer. The glowing red eyes. Which angel amongst us has eyes like that?”

“Oh come on! Jack are you really gonna believe this girl!? (Y/n) is a hater she’d say anything to get you on their side!” Lucifer tried to point (Y/n) as the bad guy but Jack wouldn’t believe his father over her again, not after the brief pain it had caused him after they had left her behind.

“Tell me the truth!” Jack demanded as his eyes glowed and he held out his hand towards his own father.  Using his powers, he controlled Lucifer’s mind and made him verbally confess how and why he killed Maggie.  He also admitted to how much he enjoyed it.  When Jack released him, he shook his head before saying, “You’re not my father, you’re a monster.”

Lucifer’s impatience was boiling to a head until he finally let out his rage in a powerful scream as he revealed his glowing red eyes.  The scream of the devil shook the entire bunker and the Winchesters and (Y/n) had no choice but to cover their ears less their eardrums explode out of their ears.

“Okay…..I tried with you. I really, really tried with you.”

“Everything you told me was a lie.”

“Because I told you what you wanted to hear man! So what I killed the girl? Big deal! She’s just a human she doesn’t matter!”

“So am I!” Jack snapped.

“Yeah, and that’s your problem. You’re too much like your mother.”

“Jack.” Cas said as he, Sam and (Y/n) started to surround the two of them ready to attack, but Jack told them to stand back and that he’ll handle him.

“Oh yeah? Oh buddy, we could’ve been something you and me. We could’ve remade the universe. We could’ve been better Gods than dad. And I really wanted pal, I wanted that but now—if I can’t have it with you well….I don’t need you. I just need your power.” Suddenly Lucifer used an archangel blade and sliced a small cut on Jack’s throat and began absorbing his grace.

“NO!!!” Cas and (Y/n) cried out.  Once Lucifer had absorbed all of Jack’s grace, he healed the cut on his son’s neck and felt ultimate power surging through him.  Lucifer’s eyes briefly glowed the golden color of Jack’s powers and immediately (Y/n) leapt towards them and with a flash of light, the three of them were gone.

The next thing (Y/n) knew, she fell down to the floor and looked around to see that they had appeared at a small church.

“Really (Y/n)? Hitching a ride, you know you’re taking the term ‘clingy girlfriend’ to a whole new level.”

“Go to fucking hell!” she snarled through her teeth.

“Yeah, yeah been there done that.” Lucifer released his grip on his son and kicked (Y/n) square in the face sending her on her back to the floor.  She briefly rolled across the floor and as she tried to sit up, Lucifer kicked her hard in the ribs.  She let out a groan as she went for her scythe then just as Lucifer was about to stomp on her chest, she slashed his leg.

Being that the material was made of melted angel blades, it managed to cause him pain but not enough to kill him.  She backward rolled and twirled the scythe in her hand as she glared up at the devil.

“I’ll admit, you always were the more fearsome fighter out of the brothers.”

“Growing up alone on the streets of West Philly teaches you a thing or two.” She spat out some blood as she took out her other scythe.  She then charged at the devil, slashing at any chance she got but Lucifer was toying with her as he dodged every single attack that came her way.  After toying with her, he grabbed her wrist and twisted it forcing her to drop her left one first before punching her in the face repeatedly.

Every blow sounded off a broken bone on her face or nose until her mouth and nose were covered in blood.  He then took her by the throat and lifted her up.

“But you’re still human. And humans break easily. Shame though, you could’ve made at least a slightly decent daughter-in-law. But you know, I can always make more and there might be another one like you out there somewhere.” Lucifer then took her right scythe out of her hand and admired it.  “Been nice knowing you tigress.” Then he swung the scythe across her stomach.

Jack who had slowly regained consciousness after losing his grace, woke up to see the woman he loved being held by the throat and saw as his own father kill her with her own weapon.

“NOOOOO!!!” Jack cried out.  Lucifer turned and said.

“Oh good you’re awake.” He then dropped (Y/n) like a ragdoll and as she began to bleed profusely all across her stomach, her body already going into shock at the amount of blood that was already seeping out of her body.

“You—you killed her?”

“Like I said, she’s just a human. There’s dozens more out there like her, but if you’d like, I can let you join her. Classic Romeo and Juliet fashion.” But before Lucifer could do anything, a bright angelic light shone throughout the church and standing there was Dean with Sam close behind him.  The shadow of angel wings coming out from Dean who had accepted Michael as his vessel.

While Dean and Lucifer talked and fought each other, Sam quickly raced over to (Y/n) after seeing her on the ground in her own blood.

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)? Hey, just hang on, keep your eyes open for me okay sweetheart?” Jack came beside her and grabbed her hands.

“I’m sorry (Y/n). I’m so, so, so sorry. I should’ve believed you this is all my fault I-I’m so sorry.”

“Not…….your……f-fa…..” (Y/n) choked out but Sam interrupted her.

“Hey, hey shhh save your strength okay? Jack, take off your jacket and put it on her stomach okay? We have to keep pressure on her wound.”

“It’s—it’s too……” weakly (Y/n) stopped Jack who looked down at her with tears in his eyes.

“No. (Y/n) we’re going to save you. Please let me save you!!”

“You—already…..did.” soon a bright light and a cry of pain echoed throughout the church and as Dean fell to the ground, they watched as Lucifer’s light was extinguished and he lay there dead.

Lucifer was finally dead.

“Is he?” Sam started to ask, almost not believing it to be true.

“He’s dead.” Jack said.  The brothers and Jack couldn’t believe it, finally after all this time Lucifer was finally dead.  Not sealed in the cage, truly dead.

“Dean, you did it.” Sam said.

“No. No man we did it.”

“(Y/n). (Y/n) did you hear that he’s really….” Jack said as he looked down, but something wasn’t right.  Her eyes were still open but there was no life to them, the soft smile was still upon her face but she was as stiff as a board.  “(Y/n)? (Y/n)?” tears began to fill his eyes.  “No, no, no, no, no, no please no!”

“Dean!” Knowing he had Michael’s power, he thought for sure he could heal the wound but just before Dean could make a step, he lurched forward in pain groaning.  “DEAN!!”

“WE HAD A DEAL!!!” Dean cried out before he too went still for a moment.

“Dean?” Sam called his brother again.  Dean rose up but his posture and the look in his eyes were different.  Dean looked around before saying.

“Thanks for the suit.” And then he disappeared, leaving Sam and Jack alone with (Y/n)’s corpse.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n) please wake up! Don’t go please you can’t die!” Jack cried out.

“Jack…..” Sam trailed off.

“There’s hospitals. Human doctors can save her right!? Sam please call them!”

“It wouldn’t do any good. I’m sorry Jack, she’s gone.”

“No she can’t be gone!” Jack picked up (Y/n)’s body and wept into her neck, pleading and begging to anyone above to save her as he wept into her cold neck.

After sending a prayer to Cas about what had happened, Cas found them and brought them back to the bunker so that they could give (Y/n) a proper hunter’s funeral.  As she lay there on the table moments before she would be wrapped up, Jack stood over her utterly broken and lost.

The only thing he could do was lean down and kiss her cold blue lips.  Deep down he had hoped that true love’s kiss would awaken her, just like all those Disney movies and fairytales she had shown him could do.  But this was no fairytale, nor was there a happy ending for them.

“Jack,” Cas voice spoke gently to the grieving young man.  “It’s time.” Jack sniffled and he said.

“I’ll prepare her.” Cas nodded and left Jack to do all the prepping alone.  Once he was done, he carried the wrapped up body of the woman he loved in his arms towards her funeral pyre.  He set the body down on the wood and watched brokenly as the hunters doused her body in gasoline before Sam was the one to light the fuse and burn her body.

As they all watched (Y/n)’s clothed body burst into flames, Jack had no more tears left to spent, but his heart continued to ache him and he would soon be the only one to remain at her pyre even after all the other hunters went back to work to search for Michael.

*End of flashback*

“Jack?” he heard Sam’s voice say.  He felt as Sam came up and stood beside him.  “You okay?”

“As fine as I can be.” Jack said monotonously.

“Look Jack, I know it’s difficult without your grace. But Bobby said you’re really improving and soon you’ll—”

“It’s not that.” Sam looked perplexed for a moment but then realized what he meant.

“Oh.” Jack nodded softly and turned to look back up at the stars.  “Yeah, I miss her too.”

“It’s all my fault.”

“Jack, you can’t blame yourself for what happened. And (Y/n) would sure as hell wouldn’t want you thinking like that.”

“But I—”

“She wouldn’t have done what she did, if you weren’t worth saving. She’s had a rough life before we found her. Trust me.” Jack sniffled and wiped away his tears.

“It hurts so much Sam. My heart it—it’s like…..a werewolf had taken it, tore it apart slowly and then put it back in my chest with no way to fix it. Why? Why does it hurt so much?!” Jack gripped his chest as he lowered his head and sobbed.  Sam cautiously reached out and brought the young Nephilim to his chest, resting his head on top of his.

“I know what you mean Jack. Long ago when I thought I had finally gotten out of the hunter’s life, I found a girl I had fallen for. Jessica, oh she was a force of nature. And—I was gonna eventually ask her to marry me. Once I had finished law school and everything. But when I came back she—it tore me apart too. I went through the exact same heartache you’re going through now. It’s tough losing the woman you love.”

“I never—even got to tell her.” Jack whimpered.

“She knows. Believe me, women like her and Jess, they always know. And it’s also probably why she did what she did.”

“How do you do it Sam?” the two of them looked at each other as Jack whimpered brokenly as a few tears slipped down his face, “How do you continue to live when they’re gone?”

“One day at a time Jack. One day at a time.” Sam brought Jack’s head back over his heart and rocked the young man comfortingly as Sam let a few tears of his own slip out, also mourning for the loss of the young woman whom he called sister for so many years.

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart- Chapter 5

Pairing- Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 5,709

Warnings- Some language. Jensen isn't the best boyfriend. I warned before this started posting it would contain angst, if you need another reminder, here it is. If I missed something let me know!

A/N-You all knew this part was coming sooner or later, some of you even called for it. Starting with this chapter, we'll start to see things from Jensen's side also. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Jensen takes the rare opportunity to sleep in Sunday morning and is the last one down to breakfast.  His sister and her husband Jeremy have already arrived and are sitting at the table with his parents.

“Did someone have a late night?” Mackenzie teases him.

“Not too bad.  Just taking advantage of catching up on some sleep,” he answers with a yawn.

“What did you and Y/N do yesterday?” his mom asks him.

“I didn’t see her yesterday.  I was meeting with Steve, and we had a few people to go see.  Trying to work out deals for a project.”

“What did she do then?” his mom tries again.

“Not a clue, I didn’t talk to her yesterday.  I was kind of busy.  Why the sudden interest in her day?”

He is filling his coffee cup and doesn’t see the looks exchanged around the table.

“Is everything alright with you two?” His dad questions.

“It’s fine.”

“Yeah, sounds like it,” he doesn’t hear his sister mutter.

Josh and his family arrive after breakfast, while Jensen is upstairs showering.  He misses the kids and his brother coming in to wish his dad a ‘Happy Father’s Day.’  When Jensen comes back down everyone is sitting in the living room with the kids playing in the middle of the floor.  He takes his phone out to take a picture of his nephews and notices a missed text from Gen, making a note to read it later, he snaps a few shots of the boys.

His family asks him questions about work, and what he has been up to.  He inquires about each of them.  They grill out for a late lunch before he has to leave for the airport.  His mom walks out to the rental car with him.

“You’re sure everything is alright?  You aren’t hiding something so we won’t worry?”

“No, it’s all fine mom.”

“Even with Y/N?”

“Yeah. I do have to get going to catch my flight.  It was good to see all of you.”

“I’m glad you could make it home, even for a short visit.  Your dad enjoyed seeing all of you for Father’s Day.”

He’s double checking his suitcase for his passport and not really listening to his mom at the moment, “Yeah, sure I’ll try and make it home then.”

“What?” Donna asks.

Finding his passport, Jensen stands to give his mom one last hug.  “Good to see all of you.  Take care, love you ma.”

While sitting on the plane waiting for the rest of the passengers to load, Jensen takes out his phone and lazily scrolls through it.  He remembers the message he missed from Gen early and opens that conversation, checking the date, he sees it is actually from yesterday.

‘Did you forget something today Ackles?????????????’

“I don’t know Gen, did I forget something?” he mutters to himself, while just replying with question marks of his own.

 Next he pulls up Instagram, it takes him a moment to realize he is seeing multiple posts about Father’s Day.

‘It’s not Father’s Day,’ he thinks to himself, ‘that’s not until the middle of June.”

There is a voice over the intercom telling all passengers to turn off electronics before Jensen has a chance to think more about the holiday or the date.  He goes over the next script for ‘The Boys’ and notes from the meetings with Steve the day before, never giving the date another thought. 

Your Sunday is spent with your parents and Jared’s family.  You and Gen get up to make a big breakfast for everyone.  Tom has homemade cards for his dad and grandpa he places on the table.  Your mom comes down, and helps the two of you finish it all up.

Jared and your dad take Tom out to the park for some male bonding time after breakfast.  Gen, your mom and yourself move to the living room.

 While they are talking babies you excuse yourself to go for a walk.  You are hoping it will help all the thoughts running around your head.  You pass Jensen’s house and pause.  You can’t help but think that he has already started to move on without you.  You’re the one who just hasn’t caught up with the times yet.

On Monday, Jared and Gen have meetings for Walker, so you are hanging out with Tom.   You are used to working twelve to fourteen hour days on set, but somehow this little man wears you out more than those do.  The two of you play outside on the swing set, he has you chase him during a long game of tag, you’re in the pool and back inside rolling toy cars around on the floor.  When your sister-in-law returns you happily hand your nephew back.

Jensen is on set Tuesday, when Jack is talking to some of the other cast members about his parents’ visit over the weekend.  

“They haven’t been to Toronto in awhile and decided to use visiting for Father’s Day as an excuse to come up this weekend.”

“If they were coming for Father’s Day, why did they come this past weekend?” Jensen asks him.

A few people turn and look at him. “Father’s Day was this past weekend,” Chase tells him.

“No, it wasn’t, it couldn’t have been.”

Others are also confirming this.  Jensen doesn’t have his phone with him, or his watch on.  

“What’s the date?” he asks his cast mates.

“21st of June.  Everything all right mate?” Karl asks sitting across the board from him.

“Son of a bitch,” Jensen yells out, “I missed Y/N’s birthday.  It was the 18th.”

He gets up from his chair to head to his trailer where his phone is to call you, but is called to set before he has the chance to get very far.  It’s after 2 am before they wrap for the night, he’s beat just going straight home and falling asleep.

He forgot to set his alarm before collapsing in bed, when he rolls over Wednesday morning and looks at the clock he has to move it.   He has maybe ten minutes before he needs to be leaving the apartment for set.  

Once he arrives he is sent straight to hair and makeup before being ushered to wardrobe.  His PA takes his bag back to his trailer for him.  When they break for lunch he is in the middle of a discussion with Karl and Anthony that completely distracts him.  He makes a quick stop by his trailer before he has to be back on set.  Pulling his phone out of his bag he sees a missed call from you.

“Son of a bitch, I still haven’t talked to her,” he growls out.  He tries calling back, but just reaches your voicemail. He hangs up and throws his phone back in the bag before returning to set.

Wednesday, you finally relent and call Jensen. He never has time to talk long so you make the call on your way to the studio to redo some voice over work for the Netflix show that just wrapped. You shouldn’t be surprised that it ends up going straight to voicemail.  The plane ticket you received for your birthday is to fly out Friday morning, you figure you should probably tell Jensen you are coming up.  Who knows, maybe just showing up would actually get you some time with him.  Leaving your phone in the car you walk into the studio.

Coming back to your car two hours later, you check your phone for messages before leaving the parking lot.  You have to reread the name when you see you have a missed call from Jensen, it’s rare he calls you back this quick lately or even at all.  Hitting the call button you once again get his voicemail, this time you leave a message.

“Hey Jay, I just wanted to tell you Jared and Gen got me a ticket to fly up to Toronto.  I’ll be landing around 2:30 Friday afternoon.  I’ll talk to you later, have a good day.”

Getting back to your brother’s place you are busy the rest of the night.  The two of them went out with a friend of Gen’s and you volunteered to watch Tom.  The little man has a lot of energy to burn tonight.  When you finally get him down, you start going through clothes in your room to take with you this weekend.

In Toronto, Jensen has finally wrapped for the night.  Today’s scenes were a bit…well, what one would come to expect from The Boys.  There is a knock on his trailer door as he’s finishing changing out of his costume.  Chase and Jack are on the other side.

“Hey, we’re going out with Karl for a drink after that mess.  You in?”

“Definitely, let me grab my bag,” he tells them.

One drink turns into a couple and they are out for a few hours.   In the cab on the way back to his place, Jensen pulls out his phone to check his call time for the next day.  Seeing a voicemail message, he tells himself he’ll listen to it tomorrow when he’s in better shape.  Clearing the notification he checks his calendar before turning off the phone. 

Thursday has a noon call time, and sees them filming until two in the morning on location.  It was almost four am before he got to bed.  Walking up after ten the next morning he has a new voicemail notification.  He listens to the call from the director on a schedule change for the weekend.  Because Eric is going to be in town for a few days and they want the big man on set for the shooting of certain scenes, they are going to be moved up to this weekend. 

Then his phone tells him he has a missed message. “Who'd I miss?” he mumbles to himself.  When he hears your message, his eyes go wide in surprise, “crap.”

Just as he’s hanging up from the voicemail, the phone rings with your name popping up.

“Hey pretty girl,”

“Hi Jay, how are you?”

“Fine, tired.  I just got your message.  Are you sure you really want to?”

He hears the tired sigh you let out, “I’m at the airport, waiting for the plane.  If you don’t want me to come up there, tell me now.”

“I don’t know how much time I’ll have to spend with you.”

“We aren’t spending any time together currently, whatever I can get this weekend is better than that.”  You just hear him groan over the line.  “If you want me to call Jared to come pick me back up I will.”

“No.  When do you get in?”

“The plane’s scheduled to land around 2:40, then I have to clear customs.”

“I have to be on set, I’m not going to be able to meet you.”

“Okay, I can take a cab over to the studio.”

“No, just come back to the apartment. I’ll leave a spare key in an envelope with the receptionist,” he tells you.

“Okay.  See you soon. Love you.”

“Yeah, love ya.”

His head falls back against the pillow as he hangs up.  His easy weekend is now going to be a bit more complicated. 

At the airport in Austin, you sit back against the hard seat with a sigh.  This was off to a rocky start and the plane hasn’t even boarded yet.  Thankfully the flight itself was an easy one.  After making your way through customs you exit the building to try and find a cab.  

When you arrive at his apartment building, you need to show your ID in order to pick up the envelope he left with the key.  The doorman shows you up, at least Jensen remembered to tell him you were coming before he left.  

Opening the apartment door, you take a look around.  It’s fairly empty, but you shouldn’t be surprised.  Jensen is only going to have this place a few months. You take your suitcase down the hall, you think this is the way to the bedroom.  It’s the second door you try.  There is a photo of you and Jensen on his nightstand, it gives you some hope seeing it there. Taking a few things out of your bag, you then explore the apartment.  It’s a little bit of a mess, so you spend some time tidying it up.  The fridge is empty, so you go down to inquire about the nearest grocery store.  It isn’t too far away, so you decide to walk over.  With your hands full, you take a cab back to the apartment.

There are a few items to put away in the cupboard, you make a few meals to freeze that Jensen can thaw later, then prepare pasta, salad and bread for dinner.  All this time you haven’t heard a word from Jay, not even checking that you made it in alright. You send a text asking if he knows how late he’ll be working, but don’t receive a response. 

By eight, you fix yourself a plate for dinner and eat alone at the table. Putting the rest away, you curl up on the couch, and find a movie on Netflix.  It’s after eleven when the door opens and Jensen finally comes in.  Getting up from the couch, you go over to greet him.

“Hey honey,” you say before leaning up to kiss him.

“Hi babe.” He gives you a quick kiss before pulling away. “I need a shower.”

He rejoins you in the living room ten minutes later, sitting next to you on the couch.  

“There’s some pasta in the fridge, if you would like me to heat some up for you?”

“I’m good, we ate on set.”

“Okay.  Do you have anything going on tomorrow?”

“I’ve got a 10 am call time.  Should go till 8 or so.”

You just nod in response. It’s been awhile since you’ve had his arm wrapped around you, and you are just going to enjoy that for now.  The movie on the screen ends and you suggest going to bed hoping to feel more than his arm around your shoulders tonight.

You come out of the bathroom ready for bed in a new lace chemise, and find your boyfriend sound asleep.  Grabbing one of his old t-shirts from your bag, you turn around to go back to change.

The next morning Jensen is up before you are.  You find him out at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee and what looks like a script.

“Morning, do you want breakfast before you leave?”

“No, I already had something. But thanks.”

“Can I come to set with you today? Hang out in between scenes with you?”

“No, they don’t like other people on set.  Don’t want any secrets getting out.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I guess I’ll go explore the city then.  Text me when you’re done, we can maybe grab a late dinner somewhere?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Do you film tomorrow?”

“No, it’s just going over some choreography for fight scenes on Tuesday.”

“So it should be a shorter day?”

“Hopefully.  Chase, Karl and I have a tee time at 2.”

“Great.”  You’re only here for a few days, but getting a round of golf in takes precedence apparently.

Once Jensen leaves for work you pull out your phone to find something to entertain yourself with today.   You decide to start the day at Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada.  

The tour of the aquarium takes you first to the Dangerous Lagoon overlook.  There you see sharks, turtles, eels and sawfish.  A sign says it is the largest exhibit at the aquarium, and has around 2.9 million liters of water.  From there you enter the Discovery Center which has interactive exhibits and features Zebra and Blacktip Reef Sharks along with Clownfish.  The Canadian Waters and Kelp Forest are next where you see octopus, lobsters, Cod, Wolf Eel, and Paddlefish.  

On the lower level of the aquarium you see the Rainbow Reef which recreates the coral seas of the Pacific.  Planet Jellies has various breeds of jellyfish. The Ray-Bay is home to five types of stingrays and the Bonnethead Shark.  A sign says that back on the main level you can pet the rays at the top of the tank. 

Back up top, you stroll through the gallery area next.  This is home to Electric Eels, Seahorses, Piranhas, Pufferfish and Mudskippers.  A quick tour of the gift shop and you are on your way out.

The aquarium is right near the base of the CN Tower.  Being so close, you couldn’t pass that up. The tower was completed in 1976 and stands 1,815.5 feet tall.

Getting off the elevators at the observation level you are currently 1,136 feet off the ground. The glass floor lets you look to the ground 114 stories below.  You go up to the Skypod which is 33 stories above the main observation level.  It is the highest observation platform in the Western Hemisphere.  You can see all the way to New York and Niagara Falls from here. You can also feel the building swaying a lot more up here. You hear a guide mention the antenna above the Skypods gets hit by lightning an average of 75 times a year.  The mix of the swaying and lightning are enough to send you back down to ground level.

You grab a light lunch and walk over to High Park to sit and enjoy it.  Finishing your lunch you take a walk down one of the nature trails.  Walking alone your thoughts drift to Jensen.  Once again today, you haven’t heard from him at all.  You are right here in his town and he can’t seem to spare you any time.

That afternoon you end up strolling through the CF Toronto Eaton Centre Mall.  It is a huge shopping center with more than 250 stores.  In your current mood nothing there really grabs your attention.  

By seven you are on your way back to Jensen’s apartment to get cleaned up to have dinner with him.   At 8:30 you send a text asking if he was going to be getting off soon. Almost an hour later, you receive a reply.

Jensen 💗-On my way back

You-Do you still want to go out and grab dinner?

Jensen💗-No

Alrighty then.  You pull leftovers out of the fridge and start warming them up for dinner.  When he walks in, you just about have everything ready to go.

“Hey honey, if you want to shower first, dinner is almost ready.”

“I already ate.”

“What?”

“It was a rough shoot, I went out and grabbed a drink with Karl, Jack and Anthony.  We ordered some food there.”

He heads off to the bathroom, and you just stare after him.  “Well thanks for telling me,” you mutter after him.

No longer hungry you put everything away once more.  Entering the bedroom you change into sweats and sit down on the corner of the couch.  It isn’t long until Jensen returns, he collapses in the middle of the couch.

“What a day.  Anything Kripke was unable to throw at us during Supernatural is sure finding its way out now.”

“Hmm.”

“This season is going to be so sick.”

You don’t respond, just keep your eyes straight ahead on the television.

“What’s your problem?” He turns his head to look at you.

“What’s going on with us?” you ask.

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like I don’t matter to you any more.  We rarely talk anymore.”

“We’re talking right now, or I was trying to but you’re ignoring me.”

“I thought we were going to do something tonight, but you went out with your friends while I was waiting for you.  You could have at least let me know what was going on.”

“It’s been a long couple of days, I don’t want to fight with you.  I’m going to bed.”

You watch him leave, biting your lip, you rest your head back against the couch trying not to cry.  That did not go the way you wanted it to at all. Going into the extra bedroom you grab a folded blanket off the unmade bed, and bring it back to the couch, planning on sleeping there tonight.  The television keeps you company, while your mind replays everything.  

The next morning, the sound of cupboard doors slamming around wakes you up.  Stretching as you sit up, you notice Jensen moving around the kitchen.  He looks over at you when he sees you move, but doesn’t say anything. He leaves a short time later. 

You don’t feel like doing much of anything today.  You hang out around the apartment watching Hallmark.  Why does everything always work out for them?

Around four, you get a text from Jensen that says he has something with the cast.  Another night alone, fabulous.  Why did you even bother coming?  Changing into presentable clothes you head out to find some food, getting into the elevator you are shocked at who you see.

“Eric, hi.”

“Y/N, how are you?  I wasn’t sure if you were in town or not this weekend.”

“Yeah, I just got in on Friday, staying a few days.  Doing alright, how are you?

“Good, are you coming to dinner?”

“What?”

“A bunch of the crew is going for dinner.  Aren’t you going to meet Ackles? I’ll give you a lift.”

His phone rings and you don’t get a chance to reply.  Getting off the elevator you follow him outside, planning to still go off on your own.  When the car pulls up, he waves you inside.  His phone call lasts almost the whole way to the restaurant, even though he keeps attempting to end it.  He is finally able to put it down just before the car pulls into the parking lot.

“Sorry about that.  Everything is a huge problem to some of the network execs.  Talking with Jared, I thought you were going to be here this weekend, but then I never saw you around set with Jensen.”

“He told me I couldn’t come with him.  Are you sure I can be here tonight?  Jensen didn’t invite me.”

“I would have let you on set, no problem. Yes, you are more than welcome to join us tonight.  Have you met anyone yet?”

“Just Karl.”

You follow him through the restaurant, when he arrives at the large table he calls out, “look who I found on my way here.”

Your eyes are on Jensen who has Claudia’s arm around his shoulders as she is whispering in his ear.

“Hey!” Karl yells, “where have you been hiding?”

He gets up to give you a hug, Jensen gives you a questioning look, while everyone else just stares.  Eric looks around the table and asks a passing waiter for one more place setting and chair.

“I’ve been hanging out around the apartment, explored Toronto yesterday,” you finally answer Karl’s question.

“So you come all the way up here, and don’t even visit the set?  Should we be hurt?” Karl’s last question is directed at Kripke.

“What are you doing here?” Jensen interrupts them.

“Are you going to introduce us, Eric?” Anthony questions at the same time.

“I ran into Eric in the elevator, and he invited me to come along,” you answer Jensen.

“Why didn’t you bring her?” Eric asks your boyfriend, who just shrugs in response.

“Some of us still don’t know what’s going on,” Jack calls out.

“This is Y/N Padalecki, this lovely lady was Ali Black on Supernatural,” Eric introduces you.

“She also has horrible taste in men, because she’s dating that brute,” Karl tells them as he points to Jensen.

Anthony, Karen, Jack, Erin and Chase all stand up to greet you.  A chair is added next to Jensen as everyone but Claudia scoots down to make room for you.  

After the group has ordered, Karl looks at you from across the table.  “How long are you here for?”

“I have a flight out tomorrow afternoon.”

“We have some fight sequences to finalize in the mornin’, are you coming to tour the set?” He asks. 

“I don’t know,” you look over at Jensen, who has remained silent.

As time goes on you notice that Claudia seems to keep touching Jensen, her hand is on her arm, his thigh, and shoulder.  ‘Really girl’ you think ‘right in front of me?’

Erin asks about what you have going on now with Supernatural over.  You tell her about Walker.  Jensen seems agitated next to you, you finally turn and ask if he’s alright.  Instead of answering he stands up and nods for you to join him out in the hall.

“I can’t believe you got Eric to bring you along,” Jensen harshly whispers to you.

“It wasn’t my intention, I just ran into him when I got in the elevator.”

“I don’t understand what your problem is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The attitude you had last night, sleeping on the couch,  now putting yourself in the middle of a cast get together.  What are you trying to do?”

“When did you become such an asshole? Maybe playing Soldier Boy has gone to your head. If you don’t want me here, and it’s such a big deal to have me here, I’ll leave.”

With that you turn back toward the room to grab your purse.  You expect Jensen to stop you, but he never does. The waiter is coming back in and you quietly ask him to cancel your order.  Before walking out the door, you turn back to the table.

“It was nice meeting you all.  I’m sorry, but I have to be going.  Enjoy the rest of your night.”  With that you turn and leave.

Eric is right behind you, he can’t get your attention so he grabs your arm once you step outside.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just have to go.”

“Y/N, I’ve known you a long time.  I can see you’re upset, and you’re barely holding back tears.”  He looks around for a moment before spotting a bench.  “Come sit down for a minute.”

“I’ll be alright, you should get back inside,” you try to tell him.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

You know he isn’t going to let go, with a sigh you start talking.  “Things with Jensen and I haven’t been going so great lately.  He barely answers my calls or texts.  I don’t know the last time he even called or texted me to start a conversation.  Gen thought it might be good for us if I came up here and we spent some time together.  I’ve still barely seen him.”

You take a deep breath to try and get yourself back under control, but you can’t help the tears sliding down your face.  “I’m afraid our relationship might have run its course, and I don’t mean anything to him any more.  I’m just someone he used to have around because I was convenient.”

“Oh Y/N,  I’m so sorry you are feeling like this.  I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I know you always meant a lot to him,” Eric tries to comfort you.

“Used to. I can’t keep going like this, the last month has been rough.  I tried to talk to him last night and that didn’t go over well.  Now he’s mad that I’m here.  When things were good with us, he would have been the first one up to give me a hug.  He would have been the one introducing me to his new cast mates, not you and Karl.  We would have spent any free time he had together, going for a drink or golfing with the guys wouldn’t have been more important.”

“I’m sorry, you don’t deserve to be treated like that,” Eric says softly.  You can tell he is a bit out of his comfort zone here.

You nod your head, you know what you have to do and your heart is crumbling into pieces.  Turning in your seat you give Eric a hug.  “Thanks for everything Eric.  Will you do me a favor and keep an eye on him for me?”

“Anything for you.  I won’t let him get into too much trouble tonight.”

You bite your lip and wipe the tears off your face, “I don’t just mean tonight.”

It takes Eric a second, but after all you’ve just said, he understands what you mean.  “I will, you take care of yourself.  He gives you a hug before hailing you a cab and returning inside.

You stare out the window during the ride back to the apartment.  When you return you start packing up your things.  After your bag is ready you pull out your phone looking for a flight out.  You aren’t sure you could make any that are leaving tonight, so you change it to one leaving at 6:10 am.  Sitting on the couch you wait for Jensen to return.

Over an hour later he finally walks through the door. You stand up as he sets his keys down on the counter.

“We need to talk,” you tell him. softly

“We do.  What were you thinking trying to insert yourself like that?  I’m still new here, I can’t have you pushing your way in the middle of things, or asking for special tours around set.  What are they going to think?”

“As I told you earlier, I didn’t ask Eric to bring me along, I was going out to find my own dinner and ran into him when I was going to do that.  He told me to come along, and that it was alright.  Karl asked about me taking a tour, I didn’t push for one.”

“I can’t afford to have you rocking the boat here.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I’m done.  I can’t…I can’t do whatever this has become anymore.” You gesture between the two of you.

That catches Jensen’s attention, and he notices your packed bag next to the couch. “What are you talking about?  Where are you going?”

“What I started to try and talk to you about last night.  I don’t know what’s happened to us, but I can’t take it anymore.  I’ve changed my flight to leave earlier.  I feel like I am the only one trying to hold this together anymore.  Right now you’re more worried about making a bad impression on people you’ve worked with for a few months, then about me.  You barely answer when I call or text you.  Any of our limited conversations anymore revolve around you, I doubt you could tell me what I have going on in my life lately.”    

“That’s not true, you’re filming that…um…that…”

“The Netflix series?  Maid, about a single mom fleeing from abuse and trying to make it with her child. We wrapped a few weeks ago.  I told you that in Chicago.”

“You’re getting ready for Walker then.”  

“You’re grasping at straws, Jens.”

“I don’t understand why you want to end things?  What was the point of coming up here?  Was it just to break up?  Did you meet someone else?”

You shake your head, not believing what is coming out of his mouth.  “I came up here to see if there was any way we could save our relationship.  But when spending time with you cast mates, who are here with you everyday, is more important than me who you have barely seen, I have my answer.  If you really need an answer to the last question it’s no.  Honestly, going by all the pictures online, and dinner tonight, I should be the one asking that.  But I know you better than that.  At least I used to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know when I became so unimportant to you,  something that could just be tossed aside when I wasn’t useful.”

He looks at you in shock. “That’s not true and you know it.”  

“I really don’t, not anymore.  With everything going on in your life, there isn’t time for me.  A backseat is okay once in a while, but it’s not a place I’m willing to stay.”

 “What are you talking about?”

“Your career is really taking off, and I can’t keep up with everything.  We don’t even live in the same county anymore.  I just don’t fit in your life anymore, and I deserve better than what I’m getting.”

“Everything I do is for us.”

“You really going with that? After how you treated me this weekend?  How you’ve been treating me the last few months?”

“Any girl would be happy to be in your place.”

“I don’t know when you became this self absorbed asshole, but that’s not the guy I fell in love with, the guy I planned my future with.  I’m sorry Jensen, but I can’t take the hurt and loneliness that have come from this relationship anymore.  I don’t want to cry myself to sleep over us another night, or wonder when you’re going to feel like talking to me again.” 

“After everything I did for us, if you think it’s really so bad to be dating me, then there is no reason to drag this out,” he spits out, his anger rising.  “Make sure to be out of the house before I get back to Texas.”

You give a small shake of your head, “if you knew how things were going with me.  You would know I’ve been staying at my brother’s house because I wasn’t comfortable alone in yours.  I don’t have much left there, it will be out soon.”   

You grab your bag and head for the door, stopping before you open it.  “I did love you, you meant the world to me.  I told Jared no matter what happens between us, I didn’t want it to affect your friendship.  I wish you the best Jens, and I really am happy for you and everything that’s coming your way.  I just wish there was still room for me in your world.”  Taking one last look at your now ex, you quickly exit the apartment.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 6

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[bellamybellamyblake]

When the Sun Sets - Part 3

In-Between

Characters:

morgan winchester (OC), sam winchester, dean winchester, alastair

Summary:

the winchesters after the death of the middle child. oh, and hell.

Warnings (for entire story):

SPN typical violence, so so much suppressing of emotions, vague mention of SA, depiction of torture, a very pro-torture main character, vague mention of not eating for a while, slightly suicidal ideation, SPN typical alcohol abuse, spoiler warning up to the end of season 8, following canon stops after the end of season 2, but things are definitely going to be mentioned.

Word Count:

2.1k ~ roughly

A/N:

ahhh this one, i love this one. trigger warning for torture. POV switches a few times.

italics = flashback.

dean: 28, morgan: 27, sam: 24

It was all too much.

"I'm not gonna let you go to Hell, Mo!" Sam, the middle Winchester, said as his tears betrayed him.

Morgan wouldn't let them save her. She didn't even let them try. After what felt like a lifetime of them protecting her, she wouldn't accept any more of it. Sam and Dean Winchester used every outlet, read every book they could find twice and called every hunter they knew to find some way to get her out of this with no luck. Their last ditch effort, was doomed to end just end the way they dreaded the most; with the middle child being scratched and ripped to shreds by hellhounds.

She made a deal with the devil. Now her fate was sealed.

“Yes, you are.”

One shot.

The old grandfather clock struck midnight and marked the close of a year, bringing the siblings to silence. It was an earthquake confined to the small room and Dean wasn't positive, but he thought he could see the sound waves as they pulsed and thumped. He could feel them in his bones, leaving them shattered in their wake. He felt his stomach rise up to his throat at the pang. He couldn't control the way his heart started to pound, like it would explode out of his chest.

The demon was next to his sister, and expressed her sympathies, but Morgan couldn't peel her eyelids up to look at her. Eyes the color of the sky had filled with tears, sticking to her lashes. He knew that if she blinked, they'd fall, and the fallacy she'd created - that this case was just a run-of-the-mill salt and burn - would be destroyed.

Then, when she flinched without warning, he knew she was hearing them. Fatal and hungry. Her voice broke through the tauntingly ominous quiet, and somehow it's worse than the damn clock.

“Hellhounds.”

Another one.

Morgan's voice was familiar to her brothers, but it was deeper than usual. Full of gravel, and it lacked the authority it usually held. It was hollow and horse and full of fear, something Sam and Dean didn't want to hear from their sister again. Sam's face was nearly a replica when he spoke, asking how she could hear it, and where it was coming from.

Then they were running. Doing everything they could to get her away from the dogs that wanted to pull her soul from her body piece by piece, atom by atom, back to Hell with them for eternal damnation. They made it into a small office, Sam, Ruby and Morgan holding the door shut, keeping the hounds out while Dean put a barrier line on the floor and windows so they couldn't get in right away. It was a futile effort, maybe it would buy them a few seconds, but it wasn't fucking enough.

The bourbon slid down his throat, smooth and warm, a burn that matched the sting in his eyes. The tears threatened to fall as he let out a shaky exhale and tried to breathe past the tightening in his throat. No matter what he did, no matter how much he drank, nothing would free him from the memory. He knew it wasn't going away, but he was determined to keep at it until he couldn't remember his sister's name anymore.

Morgan's screams echoed through their ears, pulsing and tearing at them again and again until it hurts their own vocal cords. They stared, not making a sound, just watching their sister get torn apart until she couldn't breathe. Until they couldn't breathe. Dean thought that, maybe in some corner of reality, Sam was saying something but his pleas continue to go ignored. Dean could only sit with his knees to the floor - and not just because Lilith wasn't letting him move.

Her blood was everywhere; the floor, the walls, some on his legs. The clatter of a knife hitting the floor went unnoticed. The youngest Winchester's cries as he held the motionless body didn't exist.

There was nothing except the ringing in Dean's ears.

There was nothing but a body that was getting cold and he couldn't tell if it was Morgan's or his.

Who the hell cares how long ago it was? There were some things time couldn't heal. And even Dean couldn’t deny that the past was harder to deal with when the sun sets.

The bartender gave him an incredulous gaze as he motioned for more, it was a look that told him he was probably close to finishing the bottle. A look he had been getting a lot lately. He wanted to retort rudely but even the alcohol couldn't weaken his exceptional ability to keep his mouth shut.

A brush of red hair suddenly entered his peripheral vision. He turned to see a woman, probably twenty-nine or thirty, definitely not much older or younger than him. She wore a sleeveless red flannel tied up at her ribs, denim shorts with the pockets sticking out at the front that barely left anything to the imagination, a light brown cowboy hat with matching boots and a belt. Practically every other redneck chick ever, Dean thought, but I'm not complaining.

Dean sat a bit confused for a moment when the girl didn't say anything. She just stood there, right next to him, too close - in an under-crowded bar no less - to pretend she didn't have any intentions. He guessed that the blonde was trying to put together a coherent pick-up line before she spoke. When she finally decided to talk, her words were kind of slurred together and very accented, but not too much where the eldest Winchester was worried about taking advantage. If anything, he rationalized, I'm drunker. He practically grew up drinking, given his family, and learned how to handle booze early on.

"What's a guy like you doin' in a place like this?"

"It took you two 'n a half minutes to come up with that? What are you? A guy?"

"Hey," She chuckled. "Gimme a break, been drinkin' a bit."

Dean eyed her up and down a second time, making it blatantly obvious he was checking her out. He hummed and nodded, silently giving the girl his approval. "Clearly."

The woman wasn't really clean, with dirt under her chipped finger nails that suggested she didn't ever wash her hands. There was a sheen of soot all over her exposed skin. Which there was a lot of, but again, he was not complaining. She kind of looked gross if Dean had anything to say about it. But she had a nice enough face and she was his type on paper: skinny with an ass, curly hair.

Plus, it wasn't like he hadn't gone a week without showering before. And come to think of it, that had become way less rare over the past few months.

So who was he to judge?

Sam Winchester used to give his siblings a hard time for how much they drank. But honestly? He got it now. As he had his mouth to Ruby's wrist, guzzling down her blood for the fourth time that night, he wondered why he didn't try it sooner. Well, he knew why. Because the thought of ingesting demon blood was foreign to just about everyone. It made him feel alive, helped him forget. Or it at least distracted him enough to the point where couldn't even begin to think about it. Kept his ass from bouncing off the walls when thinking about his sister or the last time he saw Dean became too much. 

He hadn't seen Dean in months, and he almost didn't want to. The two of them were so far removed from each other that by that point, he didn't know how to break the ice. He didn't know if Dean even wanted him to.

He was stuck, picturing Morgan tied up, being tortured, because of him. Because she just had to go and save him. There was nothing he could do about it anymore. There was no getting her out of Hell. He had already tried to make a deal, and he didn't even have to wonder if Dean did too. There was nothing the Winchester brothers wouldn't do for their sister. But the sheer fact that there wasn't anything left for them to try was enough to keep him locked in that fucked up cycle with Ruby.

Hook up with her, drink her blood, kill some demons, increase his skill, repeat.

What else could he do?

Morgan Winchester was dead. She didn't know exactly for how many Earth years, but in Hell time, it'd been six thousand.

The first forty years were doable, being strung up on the rack was doable. The whips, her fingernail's being torn off, the knives slowly cutting away at her. She could handle it. She could even handle the psychological torture, having her hallucinate her siblings and parents, coming in and telling her what they truly thought of her. All things she had already known, and had already believed. But it was when they upped the anti, that she started to crack. It was when demons started doing all of that and more as her family. When they stopped using tools and started using their hands, she had truly begun to break. There was another fifteen years of that.

And when she finally gave up, it had become her job to do it to someone else.

Alastair was a damn good teacher, she had to give it to him. He had been the one to torture her, and he basked in the glory of turning a Winchester into a demon. It took about three thousand more Hell years, but she finally finished the program. Two thousand tortured souls under her belt to her teacher's satisfaction.

Demons started torturing to avoid being tortured themselves. They were the result of going to Hell and having all humanity burned out of their human soul. They were dark, malicious spirits that reveled in pain, chaos and death. Ruby had told Morgan that most demons forgot what it meant to be human. Some even forget that they were humans in the first place. She had learned some demons were true believers, though, in Hell's purpose. To cleanse. And they truly believed themselves morally superior to humans.

But after another thousand years, she started having fun.

She had only wished that by the time she was down there and playing her latest game on the next soul, she could've gotten the chance to torture her father. Get her grimy hands on his skin and tear it off of him cell by cell. Then she heard Sam was down there, too, and she would've been upset, had she not known he was locked up in the cage with Lucifer. She knew she was good at her job, but compared Lucifer and Michael? Even as a demon, her ego hadn't grown that big.

And then she got to pick her own name, and all bets were off.

On Earth, Adriadne had never seen a demon's true form. Now down in the pit, where they roamed freely and carelessly, she didn't flinch at the sight of them. When her soul had started changing, becoming stickier, malleable, and black, she almost second guessed her decision to get off the rack. But at the same time, her memories of her time on Earth were starting to fade. They started twisting into her memories of being tortured - becoming one in the same.

Recently, she had heard a few more things. One; that Dean Winchester, someone she couldn't quite put her finger on, was in purgatory with an angel. Two; that Crowley was not only the king of Hell, but he was granting certain demons passage to Earth for a little joyride upstairs. Three; that he was restoring their old bodies, if in decent enough shape.

Eventually, Adriadne, no longer remembered her real name. Adriadne was who she is, was and what she would always be, for the rest of time. Where there used to be normal human eyes there was only darkness. No pupil, no cornea, no whites of the eyes; everything was just black.

She did remember there were people on Earth that used to love her, and she remembered the physical aspects to being human. Having to eat and sleep and breathe, but not much else. There was something about needing connection with another human that meant something to them, but it was lost on her.

But as she tried to remember the smallest bit about who she used to be, she realized it was pointless. Why would she try to remember when she was powerless? When she had no purpose, no duty?

She figured that maybe a trip upstairs in her original meat suit might be fun. She couldn’t find a reason not to.

Why wouldn’t she take the chance to feel the sun on her skin?

[captain039]

She can’t sense it

Alpha!Dean x omega!reader

Warnings: slight angst, light swearing, Dean being a jerk xD, fluff, light angst, hurt/comfort

Watching SPN again hopefully I make it past season five xD

You’ve been tagging along with the Winchesters for ages now. You’ve been like their little sister, well sort of, Sam liked you, Dean thought, Dean was ready to throw your ass out the car. You were in the front seat between the two brothers because you got seriously car sick like Sam. So you were squished in the middle.

“Can you stop breathing funny?” Dean huffed hand clenching on the wheel.

“Can you stop being a little bitch?” You snapped back making the alpha grunt annoyed. Sam snickered head still faced to the window making you punch his leg.

“Ow!” Sam glared at you making you smirk.

When you got to the next motel you all scrambled out, glad to not be in each others pockets. You sighed stretching and heading to the receptionist. Dean followed you, barging in first with a laugh making you roll your eyes.

“Hi there” the woman smiled and Dean flashed a grin.

“A double?” She asked before seeing Sam outside.

“Two doubles?” She corrected.

“Three singles” you said and Dean frowned at you, he liked a big bed. You gave her your fake card and paid.

You sighed as you laid down the boys ate while you closed your eyes.

“Hey-“ Sam said before getting smacked.

“Dude!” He whispered and you frowned but ignored it wanting to sleep.

You hugged your pillow as your mind played up. You always wondered why you and Dean bumped heads so much, he hated how touchy you were, you didn’t mean to be touchy, it just happened without you realising. You’d catch yourself doing it and moving away, but sometimes he’d snap before you could catch yourself. He was over protective of you though, he wouldn’t let you do anything dangerous in hunts, he’ll wouldn’t let you do anything in hunts. You were with him when his dad died, when he sort of died. You were following behind them when the crash happened, you tore through that truck man before the ambulance arrived.

This hunt was an angry spirit, maybe you didn’t know yet, targeting omegas specifically, ages 20 - 25 female and males, so you were perfect bait. Dean however got his panties in a twist before you put your foot down. The alpha was quiet, grumbly but quiet as you went to the area the spirits been killing in.

“There’s a man here, 24, omega lives by himself” Sam said as Dean stopped on the other side of the road.

“Think it’s going for him next?” You asked and Sam nodded.

“You get a vision?” You added and he shook his head.

“Just matches the patterns” he said and you nodded. You waited till about midnight before you heard a scream. You all ran in, Dean first you second and Sam last. Dean shot and the spirit screamed as did the man. Sam went to him while you jolted and fell. The spirit grabbed you took you into one of the bedrooms and locked the door. You scrambled for your gun but was hit by an overwhelming scent.

“All of you!” He screamed.

“You all hate me!” He added smashing the glass in the photos. Angry alpha spirit you assumed. You could hear Dean yelling on the other side of the door. The spirit snickered and turned back.

“Oh don’t worry!” He called.

“You son of bitch! Open this door or I swear-!” Dean yelled.

“Or you’ll? What?” The spirit laughed.

“I’m gonna tear her open!” The spirit added a knife appearing in his hand. You gulped eyeing your gun. You reached for it only to be thrown at the wall. You groaned, body aching. You were thrown again onto the bed, a softer landing this time. Your legs and wrists were held down the spirit hovering above you, sniffing you. The knife cut into your arm making you hit your tongue.

Dean couldn’t get in, Sam couldn’t get in either, he was bashing on the windows, shot it a few times, whatever this spirit was it was powerful. You had cuts all over you, he constantly smelt your hair, your neck grumbling about your suppressants. You saw night slowly turn into day, he was waiting for something. Smacking Sam off the window and into the bush, slamming Dean into a wall but never leaving the room.

He took a deep breath in though suddenly, a big grin on his face, his forces must’ve went down because Dean was in, gun shooting and the thing disappearing with a scream. He threw the gun before going to you, hands shaking, he reeked of anxiety. Your body felt relieved by the tension but also very warm suddenly. You frowned at Dean and he frowned back confused. You gasped a bit pushing him back without realising.

“Hey-!” He said as you sat up and stared at the floor. He was your mate, goddamnit how didn’t you notice?! The doctor said your suppressants would take away your ability to find a mate, you didn’t care, just wanted the heats to stop, you figured you wouldn’t find your mate ever. You held a hand over your mouth as you cried, Dean was quick on his feet to go by your side and check you over.

“What’s the matter? Talk to me!” He yelled crouching in front of you and checking your arms.

“You-“ you stuttered and he frowned.

“Me? What have I done?” He asked confused.

“You’re-“ you struggled as he looked baffled. He was on edge body tense and reeking of anxiety. It frowned not understanding before something clicked.

“You can sense it” he said and you cried harder.

“I’m so sorry-“ you sobbed as he stood and stepped back.

“Your suppressant things wore off, that’s- that’s what the bastard was waiting for” he mumbled. You heard the familiar sound of the impala, Sam must’ve destroyed whatever held the spirit here.

“Hey you ok-?” Sam stood by the door way.

“Uh, David’s safe traumatised but safe, ill um-“ he left awkwardly and you shook your head.

“Let’s just get you fixed up” Dean said holding his hand out to you.

Back at the hotel you winced and hissed as Dean fixed you up, snapping at poor Sam when he offered to help.

“Stop moving” he grumbled.

“You’re hurting me!” You stated and he stopped. You were in the bathroom sitting sideways on the toilet while Dean dealt with the cuts on your back. You felt a head rest on your back suddenly and tensed. You had your front covered by a robe on backwards your back exposed. You had pants on also, keeping your lower half covered.

Dean rested a hand on your back, somewhere there wasn’t any cuts, his thumb gently moving back and forth.

“I was scared” he muttered and you felt your stomach tighten.

“I couldn’t open the door, that thing kept throwing me back” he sighed shakily.

“I heard you scream a few times, I heard you whimpering, heard him sniffing you, disgusting bastard” he scoffed, removing his head and hand.

“I thought you realised, I didn’t know suppressants blocked that out so I left it alone, thought you didn’t want me” he sighed shuffling behind you as he continued cleaning your wounds.

“Didn’t want you?” You muttered heart breaking.

“I don’t blame you though-“ he scoffed but you stopped him as you turned around to face him. You had tears in your eyes as his smile fell.

“I’ve been alone most of my life, not once had any alpha taken interest in me, I suffered so many heats alone wishing for my mate, suppressants aren’t handed out easily I was 20 when I got on them-“ you held your breath for a minute, trying to control yourself.

“I gave up, after loosing everything, but I wanted you, I want you, I wanted you so badly my whole life” you hung your head as you cried, Dean didn’t do emotions well.

“I didn’t care what the drug did, I didn’t think-“ you shook your head looking to him with a sigh. He was unreadable, too much swirling in his eyes, his face stern before it softened. He was quick to move as he cupped your face and kissed you. You jumped slightly but stood up so he didn’t have to bend awkwardly. His hands slipped from your face and around your lower waist.

He was careful not to hurt you. He pulled back and you took in air quickly. You rested your hands on his chest as you tried to process what happened.

“Did you finally kiss?” Sam peeked his head in and you flushed furiously.

“Piss off Sammy” Dean said and his brother laughed and left.

“If you want me, I’m yours” Dean whispered softly and you nodded smiling. He smiled to kissing you again softly.

[glygriffe]

This Month’s Reading

The cold and the snow made me want to snuggle with a good story in December! I found some that I'm sharing with you here. Have a wonderful beginning to the New Year and celebrate by reading!

❅ ❆ ❅ ❄︎ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❄︎ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❄︎ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❄︎ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❄︎ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❄︎ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❄︎ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❄︎

Supernatural

Untitled Drabble: amnesic Castiel by @supernaturalfreewill (Castiel x Reader)

Plan B: When an angel vanishes from Earth, what happens to the human vessel they leave behind? A wonderful exploration of a facet of the Supernatural world less explored. By akajed on AO3. (No pairing)

Tell Me About the Things I Don’t Know: A SPN/The Winchesters crossover where Stanford-era Dean gets to meet the Monster Club. By Dukefan01 on AO3. (No pairing)

Untitled comment Drabble: If Sam and Castiel are friends, shouldn’t they argue more? A fun idea by @scoobydoodean (No pairing)

Dibs on Samuel: a tender Samwena story by Hiding_Amaranth on AO3, taking a lot of the canon's later seasons crumbs for this ship (Sam x Rowena)

Christmas Magic: A special present for Dean on Christmas night, by @jessjad, written for the @spnfanficpond Secret Santa event. (Dean x Reader)

Run Right or Lie: What if Dean died in Faith and the brothers met Castiel at the peak of Sam's faith? An orphan one-shot on AO3. (Castiel x Sam)

Other Fandoms and Original Works

Two Candles: a first original work (on AO3, at least) for @nateconnolly about two sisters. It is full of delicate images of traditional folk stories, with the kind of poetic vibe I love. (No pairing)

Night 1 - November 30th, 1983: Joyce Byers celebrates Hanukkah with her boys to put some of the trauma behind them. A fluffy Stanger Things story by adara_writer on AO3. (No pairing)

72 seconds: That's the amount of time Max stayed dead after Vecna broke most bones in her body. A Stranger Things fic by @hawkingabouthawkins on AO3. (Lucas x Max)

Untitled fic comment: He looked at her like she was the sun. No fandom, just good writing, and an interesting perspective. By @louisamayanniecat as reported by @thecosmicrap

[mlobsters]

supernatural s10e16 paint it black (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

so i gather there's recaps before these episodes, but they're not on netflix? i've seen mention of music or whatever in the recap. but i'm gettin none. going in blind and more confused than usual 🥴

crowley and rowena snapping at each other in this little throne room is getting a little tiring

s10e16 / s2e13

these church steps look like the houses of the holy ones, but maybe it's just the framing of the shot being down low. aha, it is indeed noted the same church on the wiki. only reason i noticed probably because i took a lot of screenshots of that scene, twice

sam's sure being a grumpy grumperson. what crawled up his ass and died. being worried about dean is coming out bitchy? is he still worried or was that 2 episodes ago? :p

steve elliott / henry thomas

thought this was the dude from the flanagan shows for a hot second

deep thoughts, why do the demons smoke out but not visibly smoke... in (to be sneaky and so we have to something to see when they leave, i know i know)

weren't there evil nuns in that church where... they killed lilith? trying to dredge up the memory. ah no, possessed priest who killed the nuns. i knew (a) nunnery was involved. these nuns sure are all dolled up and pretty, swanky dark gray habits

i don't understand what's going on here between sam and dean. lot of faces being made, dean is not exactly flirting with the nun but sam's acting like he is? i'm lost. and not even a little bit intoxicated!

DEAN I got a question. How does someone, uh, like you end up, you know…? SISTER MATHIAS Cloistered away from the world? [Chuckles] Are you making fun of me, Agent Allman? DEAN No. No, No. I, Uh… I guess I’m just wondering how somebody quits one life for something completely different and – and then believe in it so much. SISTER MATHIAS Well [sighs] in my case, I felt I had no choice. My life had become painful. There was hopelessness. I felt I had to find something larger than myself to focus on. A kind of mission, I guess. You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure.

are we trying to do something with dean and the mark here *squints* dean and sam join a monastery!

DEAN Tell me you didn’t think that nun was hot. I think she had a little thing for me too. SAM Dean, she was married to Jesus.

speaking of mentioning jesus :p i guess that was supposed to be flirting. it did go there bit more once sam went to wave around his little meter.

s1e14 boop boop

do we ever talk about the time when they had a thing with fake green lasers in s1? i'm embarrassed whenever i think about it lol. so awkward, never to return

all right rowena's over the top fake bow made me laugh

olivette / the x-files s2e11 - teryl rothery as michelle charters / stargate: sg-1 - teryl rothery as dr jane fraiser

this olivette actress i definitely know, but i'm not sure what from. she was in the xfiles and the killing, but maybe from sg1? she was in a lot of episodes. maybe caprica but i'm convinced i've forgotten 95% of that show

are rowena and olivette gonna make out? conflicting vibes

losing my mind over this ridiculous nun/painter man drama sideplot. and the makeup on these ladies is a lot more obvious than tv makeup on someone so young like this usually is

lot of coverage and visibly powdered down matte. odd. what time is this flashback occurring? olden times?

spn s10e16 / hannibal s3e6

are they in florence? lol was like this reminds me of hannibal and bedelia in front of that window. haha if i had waited literally 1 second, i would have had my question answered. yes. anyway, go me. identifying landmarks left and right today

guess we know who's whackin the dudes. god i just need to finish this episode but i'm dragging my feet. sigh. rowena, the ~grand coven~ and beef with the men of letters now. great

well at least this can't be as awkward as when he was making all the people horny in that purity pledge group

DEAN What if I said I…I didn’t want to die…yet, you know, that I wasn’t ready? FATHER DELANEY Are you expecting to? DEAN Always. [Chuckles] You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. FATHER DELANEY But now? DEAN Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.

um. okay. taking off the wincest goggles briefly, is that like. wanting to settle down with someone? what feelings/people he wants to experience differently or for the first time? having kids or being in love-in love (implying that he wasn't with lisa, so i dunno). it's vague enough you could surely apply it to your ship of choice. but i'm trying to Be Reasonable about what they're implying

FATHER DELANEY Go a little deeper, perhaps, than with Gina. DEAN Yeah. Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought. FATHER DELANEY Learning there’s more to the universe than your tiny world can be a frightening discovery. Do you truly believe in God, Agent? Because that can be a comfort DEAN I believe there is a God. But I’m not sure he still believes in us.

what about the gods in religions that also have large followings currently that aren't christianity? presumably they'd be powerful too. i mean. i should be thankful they're not trying to drag them into the show

fucking fuck stupid startle reflex TWICE they've cut over to rowena slapping this woman and startled the shit out of me. i like her red dress though

perpetually the winchesters, indeed

so is sam reading 16th century ghost lady's journal in italian?

ISABELLA [VOICE OVER] But it wasn’t enough. [ISABELLA cuts off her own finger.] I told Piero to gind the flesh, blood, and bone into the pigment.

excuse me. i laughed. nonsense

SAM You know… you were in that confessional a long time. Look, man, I’m just saying, I’m your brother, Dean. If you ever need to talk about anything with anybody, you got somebody right here next to you. DEAN Okay. SAM I heard what Sister Mathias was saying about, you know, hiding pain by taking on a mission, and I-I know that’s what you’re doing a little bit. And it’s okay. I mean, it’s fine. I get it. I’ve done it before, too. But… I don’t buy for one second that the Mark is a terminal diagnosis, so don’t go making peace with that idea. There has to be a way. There will be a way, and we will find it. That’s what we do. So, believe that. DEAN Okay, Sammy.

reminding me a bit of dean's speech from s7e2 with sam and the hallucifer psychosis

s7e2 DEAN I am your flesh-and-blood brother, okay? I'm the only one who can legitimately kick your ass in real time. You got away. We got you out, Sammy. Believe in that. Believe me, okay? You gotta believe me. You've gotta make it stone number one and build on it.

just, it's difficult to see talking of relationships and feelings to be about people outside of the sam and dean bubble, since at the end of the day that's where they draw the line. i mean, you could have a relationship with sam where you do actually go to him to talk about the important things, novel concept :P (but same goes for you, sam).

and another thought was just they seem to be nudging dean away from his self destructive tendencies, which is also some growth. maybe. i say that now so surely that means he's about to do something spectacularly stupidbad. i dunno, man. i need to sleep.

[incarnateirony]

Really pulled up the station movements the last few years and Gray truly has been busy. Nexstar has chipped at things here or there but is mostly acting its average.

Atlanta buying back clusters of stations via Gray from Meredith is a bit of a ... choice. There's generally a freeze on buying stations right now, and many are happy to sell, because the future of classic broadcast is so rocky.

Gray doesn't directly influence SPN or Nexstar, but one has to understand how these type of territories work. While Nexstar's individual products often cater to conservative markets--whether that be its fantasy football leagues or its mormon coverage areas--but even to the tepid centrism that say, walker appeals to, yeah. That red painted up as purple in US skewed politics.

I tried to explain that Austin and Houston may both be texas but they're not remotely the same film scene. Austin airs towards western quirky white liberalism. Houston is part of the black progressive and rebel scene and hoops into the Atlanta circuit.

Like, these aren't the same syndicates in production. Even transplants, like the All American directors, still carry that Atlanta spark in their style and story, but it's different when that entire spirit can shape productions.

Nexstar services Austin. Grays services Houston. And this is the real divide here.

The thing is, some markets they share--one may own ABC and another NBC, or whatever. They can't just scorched earth each other's products. Nexstar is still catching content now FROM Atlanta and Grays pumps it to culturally minority-strong cities like detroit via Grays.

And, yknow, Nbc just invested like a gagillion dollars to build a 4000 employee studio considered of industry wide seminal importance to be done by June 2023. so. there's that. good luck nexstar. cuz. that's grays. its all grays. nbc's hugeass atlanta plans. all grays. the cities. all grays. several of the local studios and production houses. you get the gist.

What this really makes for is a shift in the public TV horizon. The original UPN-WB merger ripped TBS into cable and stripped Peachtree for parts that were already being cannibalized by competitors, or otherwise smaller sisters that were just buried in the scale of the war games.

After the boycott kneecapped CW at years end and screwed their entire tax evasion game only to persist another year, WB gave in and folded its share, as did CBS. The label as a primetime slot stays alive for both while Nexstar does whatever with the daytime noise we don't care about. Nexstar just sets the performance demands.

WB pulled back its executives from the burned stove, fired its board and now let executive creatives pull the shots assuming they pull profit.

Atlanta is centralized as a bit of a silent superstation again with WB claws pulled out of the local, but instead, WB on a leash asking them for help to not lose its tv markets, basically. Atlanta bout to dogwalk WB.

Especially with Winchesters and Gotham going that way. CBS and Walker brand are playing more into the nexstar and west coast syndicates that come by way of austin and everything past.

Jensen and Danneel have chosen a different playground. So I'm just. laying here thinking on all these interesting choices. Sure, Nexstar claimed space to feed grammas stupid daytime TV but. whatever.

Its a power dynamic shift I don't think anyone's really ... cared enough to understand. But they should.

Give it 2 years. watch the ghost of broadcast non-cable TBS past return to primetime TV slowly, or at least until streaming conversion options are decided.'

[jomilky]

Jooooooooo CONSIDER cas Ian and Dean Mickey. Ian's handprint around Mickey's throat because he couldn't get a good grip on Mickey's shoulder. Ian being super strong. Mickey praying to Ian and only to Ian, particularly in the middle of sex. Sex with Ian's angel form where Mickey has to be blindfolded (lest his eyes burn out) but he can feel Ian's scorching touch everywhere and it's so fucking good, it burns like Ian is in his fucking guts and devouring him!!! ALSO MICKEY HUNTING MONSTERS!!!! IAN FUCKING UP ANY MONSTER WHO HURTS HIS MATE!!!! I have a lot of the emotions. Mandy would be sam. There's fifteen seasons of spn i couldn't right a full au but maybe some oneshots

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaalicia YES YES YES

It was all Mickey Milkovich never prayed, Mickey Milkovich never asked for help, Mickey Milkovich was fucked for life anyway… until Ian entered the door. He’s got Ian’s handprint around his neck, a testimony of his fate, his power, his loyalty and the fact that he deserved to be saved, to be loved, to be cherished.

Imagine Mickey kneeling before Ian, praying half sincerely and half jokingly as their silly little foreplay, before he sucked the angel’s cock earnestly.

Imagine Mickey holding the first blade with his hands, the hands that had “FUCK U-UP” tattooed on the knuckles 😭 He’d ruin anybody, anything that had ever hurt his dear angel.

And when Ian missed Mickey he’d pop out from nowhere to meet him, even when Mickey was in the fucking bathroom. “What’s the matter? There’s nothing I haven’t seen, Mickey.”

Btw Mickey had the mark that prevented him from being possessed tattooed on his ass instead of chest cuz that’s more fun. Ian loved it so much that he never left it without hickeys or bites on it too long. But he’d be careful not to break the skin in case it lost its effect. Mickey mocked at him sometimes, saying that if he loved it so much he should get one himself.

And Alicia YES write as many one shots as you want. Let Mickey go hunting with his baby sister and his angel 😭

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Ghostfacers

Welcome to “Always Say Yes to Ice Cream with the Winchesters: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s3e13: Ghostfacers.

  Shot mostly as a cheaply made documentary, this one has the boys checking out a haunted house only to find their old frenemies, the Ghostfacers, there preparing to film themselves spending the night. Sam and Dean immediately realize that their work has at least doubled, since now they're not only trying to find the spirit haunting the place, but babysitting a group of amateurs as well. Things... don't go completely awesomely, but hey, Dean gets to say "fuck," sort of.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

  Lor:

Ghost GhostFACERS

 Mace:

GHOSTFACERS

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

 Lor:

YAAAAAS

Mace:

 THE BOW TIE

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

omg they reference the writer's strike

I had completely forgotten that

 Lor:

"in the history of your life"

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 the fake slomo

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

"two lone wolves"

 Mace:

 two lone wolves need other wolves

 Lor:

they need other wolves

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHA

 Lor:

I cannot with these guys

 Lor:

it's so GOOD

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

poor Maggie

 Lor:

her brother is a dope

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

oh Corbett

 Mace:

right?!

 Mace:

SIGH

 Mace:

 he’s adorable and so sweet

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

"Dad! Come on!"

 Mace:

 HAAAAHAHAHAHA

 Lor:

aaaaand you can tell it's Baby by the engine!

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

 Lor:

and then the music

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 maggie is CUTE

 Lor:

she IS

 Lor:

despite their nonsense, this is a pretty good setup

 Lor:

omg the hand gesture

 Mace:

HA! yep

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

 Lor:

"turn the knob"

 Mace:

 SNORK

 Lor:

"it's just a rat, dude"

 Lor:

"rats are the rats of the world"

 Lor:

OMG

 Mace:

 “rats are like the rats of the world"

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

omg the cursing

 Lor:

CHISELCHEST

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHA

 Lor:

"they were here first"

 Lor:

haaaaahahahaha their faces

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 Dean is so over this shit

 Lor:

Dean is so done

 Lor:

LOL

 Mace:

 he knows he’s gonna have to babysit

 Lor:

YEP

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

the running down the stairs

 Mace:

“OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD"

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

YAAAS

 Lor:

"we'll get you ice cream, our treat"

 Mace:

 “we’ll get you ice cream our treat"

 Lor:

YOU SAY YES TO THAT OFFER

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 YES YOU DO

 Lor:

I love that they are absolutely not leaving without all these idiots

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 oh Corbett

 Lor:

saving people, even the dumb ones what brought it on themselves

 Lor:

sigh

 Lor:

poor guy

 Mace:

I LOVE that they’re not at all scared, just annoyed that they have to save these numbnuts

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

"it's our grand canyon"

 Lor:

SAM

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

I wonder if there's any SALT in the MORTON house

 Mace:

 HAAAAAAHAHAHAHA OMG LOR

 Lor:

HEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHE

 Mace:

 “WAKE UP BE DEAD"

 Lor:

LOL

 Lor:

my GOD his teeth are white

 Mace:

 snork!

 Lor:

LOL Dean being all sarcastic at her and then she's like "yes?"

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

"survival under atomic attack. an optimist"

 Lor:

SAM

 Mace:

the way Dean looks at him

 Mace:

 HAHAHA YES

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

"eeeeew"

 Lor:

"EEEEEWWWWW"

 Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA

 Mace:

 omg this episode

 Lor:

I love how Dean looks right into the camera when he explains

 Lor:

RIGHT?

 Lor:

it's BRILLIANT

 Mace:

IT IS

 Mace:

 oh SAM

 Lor:

uh oh

 Lor:

NOW Dean's gonna go OFF

 Mace:

 the shouted SAMMY

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

gets me every time

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 “my best sister"

 Lor:

"hold my glasses"

 Mace:

“hold my glasses"

 Mace:

 the nerd version of Hold my beer

 Lor:

oh Ed. your sister is an adult, buddy

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

LOL

 Mace:

 Ed needs several slaps upside

 Lor:

he DOES

 Mace:

Oh Corbett

 Mace:

 oh SAM

 Lor:

oooof

 Mace:

 the “stay with me"

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 GAH

 Lor:

Dean recognizes fear

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

"inside your duffel bag?" HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 Mace:

 OMG NOT IN THE DUFFLE BAG YOU ABSOLUTE LOAFS

 Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 Lor:

mmmmmrrrrrffff Dean cursing

 Mace:

YAS

 Mace:

 i love that they work it so he can finally say fuck in an episode

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

and give the finger

 Lor:

cause you KNOW Dean Winchester just pops that off all the time

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

"cause he told me." "OH"

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 singing the theme song

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

"it makes her feel better. don't ask"

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

oh Corbett

 Mace:

 that kid’s a great actor

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

oh wow that sky

 Mace:

 right?!

 Lor:

Dean rolling his eyes

 Lor:

those chairs look really comfy

 Mace:

 they DO

 Lor:

"war changing man. and one woman" OMG

 Mace:

“and one woman"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

"gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day" OH SURE HERE. BUT NOT IF IT'S CAS WHAT NEEDS SAVING

 Mace:

YEP

 Mace:

 oh CORBETT

 Lor:

he's so sweet

 Mace:

hilarious and also gut punchy

 Mace:

 HE IS

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

omg THEIR FACES

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

"I kind of think it was half awesome"

 Lor:

"honor his memory while grossly exploiting the manner of his death"

 Lor:

correct, Sammy

 Mace:

YAS

 Mace:

 “sometimes both"

 Lor:

"don't be facer haters"

 Mace:

“don’t be facer haters"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

LOL

 Lor:

omg were there no opening credits? cause they're here. I never noticed

 Mace:

HAHAHAHA YAS

 Mace:

 omg Sammy’s SMILE

 Lor:

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA our boys are SO SMART

 Mace:

AM DED

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

YAS

 Mace:

 HIS DIMPLES

 Lor:

Dean's tear out of the parking lot

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

this episode should have won awards

 Lor:

I have no idea if it did but it should have

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

 Lor:

the satire is PERFECTLY pitched, and it's still a good episode of the show, AND the acting is awesome

 Mace:

AGREED

 Mace:

 a perfect mix of ridiculously silly, legitimately scary, and all-the-feels-y

 Lor:

YEP

[fic-finders]

I know this is mostly an mcu blog, but i’m giving it a shot still

I can’t remember if it was a series or a one shot, but anw it was SPN, the reader is the sister of Sam and Dean, Dean isn’t the same anymore, he’s angry because Sam isn’t with them anymore, he’s even mean to the reader and the reader is very upset about it. It all starts when she comes back from hunting alone, her arm is severely hurt, and there’s blood dripping to the ground. She stands in front of the room where Dean is and calls him, he doesn’t reply. She calls him ‘De’ and he looks up to her and starts panicking before she collapses.

I can’t remember anything else, I know it’s super vague but it was one of the best written thing i read. Thank you either way <3

hey, there anon! I'm not too familiar with the supernatural fandom but hopefully, someone knows what fic this is. This also sounds really interesting!

[asirensrage]

Find the Word Tag Game

I was tagged by @residentdormouse.

This should be interesting... lol. Let's see if I can find things that aren't already shared.

My words: hushed, cried, screamed, laughed, shuddered

Hushed (so apparently I rarely use this word...this is from At The End of Everything which was a SPN fic that was left open to be a Dean x OC one... - written back in like 2010)

Ace was leading the way out when we heard something behind us. I turned quickly to see a couple of people covered in blood. Ace hushed Mary and they spotted us. "Fuck!" We ran for the entrance as they ran after us. I stopped and turned, letting Ace lead Mary out. There were three of them. I aimed and shot, sending one of them flying back. I turned and jumped through the broken glass front. Ace had stopped in front of the car. I turned and aimed at the two that were coming through the store. I heard two shots and they both went down. They didn't come from next to me though where Ace stood.

Cried - Tammy Thompson Takes on the Upside Down

“Shit!” Dustin cried out again. “Go!” He led us through a side door and we ran down an empty hall. It felt like ages but he finally stopped. “Come on,” he strode out casually and we all tried to follow. I recognized the movie theatre instantly. We went into the first theatre we saw. I was hungry but Steve actually stopped at the garbage, grabbing popcorn out of it.  “Ew,” I grabbed onto Erica instead.

Screamed - This is from an abandoned LOTR wip lol

"You are certain?" "Yes." "Then send her." It hurt. Unable to describe it in words, she screamed.  "Where is she?! Where is my sister?!" "We don't know. She was gone in the morning. She must have left in the night." "She wouldn't leave! Not without letting us know." "She was not here." "We could shield her from the pain." "She needs to go through this to understand."

Laughed - (not me writing out the scene I tried to draw yesterday...)

I don’t know how I did it. I’m scared of heights, if I’m honest, so I’m not sure how I ended up behind its head, legs over its shoulders and my feet crossed under its neck to make sure I didn’t fall off. All I knew was that I needed to stop it. I wasn’t going to let it eat her.  I had one hand under its jaw, trying to keep it closed, while the other was on the side of its head, helping me keep balanced. It just laughed at me.  “You can’t…kill me…” “Run!” I shouted at her as she stared at me in shock. “Get out of here!” “I’m going to eat you–” “No you’re not,” I ground out, pulling back as hard as I could in order to keep it from reaching her.  It sounded like a rip, like the crack that ice makes when you step on it. The thing’s laughter stopped suddenly and I kept pulling, hoping maybe I was giving her some time to get away. I almost fell backwards when the pressure suddenly released.

Shuddered - Another abandoned WIP. This one for From Dusk to Dawn

“How the hell are we supposed to know who we’re looking for?” Seth grumbled, passing around the drinks after paying the bartender.  “It’s her,” Richie said. He motioned at the stage. “She’s the one.” “How the fuck do you know?” Seth snapped. Kate sipped at the coke and listened. The woman was staring at the three of them as she sang.  “They used to be just like me and you They used to be sweet little boys But something went horribly askew Now killing is their only joy” “Well that’s creepy,” she heard Seth mutter. Kate shuddered, an eerie sense of déjà vu upon her as she stared at the stage.

this entire search just made me realize I need to work on my descriptions lol

Your words: tremble, blood, little, asking, cracks

soft tagging: @chickensarentcheap @ninjasawakenedmystar @stanshollaand @starcrossedjedis @nadja-antipaxos @reyofluke-ocs and anyone else who wants to join

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 12x15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell

“Man, why are you trying to use a hatchet like that. Ok we gotta pause. That’s like the most dangerous way to use a hatchet. You never swing a hatchet unless it’s in self-defense. Hatchets are used as a wedge instead of an actual swinging thing. So whoever these fkn actors are have never used a hatchet before, or whoever showed them for the scene are full of shit” “why would you set up in the mud. They’re like in the basin. Might want to move that to a higher rise like a hill” “If it were to rain, it’d swamp out their tent” “only one way to learn I guess” “who dies first? Probably him. Oh shit” “well shit” “oh past tense. Dad did love that thing” “that’s some like zombie apocalypse type influence. Barbed wire on a baseball hat” “well they would need time to dry out first at the very least” “what the hell is his deal?” “Oh they kicked Mom out. That’s right.” “Dean seems kinda fucked in the head right now.” “what’s the name?” Beyonce’s sister

“They do that upside down gag with him a lot. Idk why” “sounded kinda hollow to me” “uh huh” “not far off on brood queen I guess” “who made the deal?” “so what he’s saying is that was mostly if not all truth, which I agree with” “why are they trying to do this? They never do this” “is it actually a hellhound?” “definitely a bear” “for real? Wow” laughter

“I feel like Crowley’s structured hell with too flat of a structure. He needs more middle management so he’s not dealing with this” “that was cool as fuck” “that’d be the most badass way to tell someone shit’s real, because a guy just showed up out of nowhere” “demons always fuck this shit up’ “what’s so gross? Ew what?” “they have one helluva a weird structure in heaven” “sounds like the mob or some shit like that” “oh my god” “is Lucifer going to snap his fingers and make this guy disappear?” “Dean needs a scarf” “gotta say: Dean is a good looking dude” “might want to clean your glasses” “oh yeah they can’t clean the glasses because there’s oil on them. That’s on purpose. I forgot” “stab it” “that was a cool shot” “juicy. I guess the blood isn’t invisible. We already knew that but still” “don’t be leaving that in the middle of the road. How do you explain that shit to insurance?” “Isn’t Crowley going to be back in 2 seconds once he figures out what’s wrong’ “It’s just a dent” “that’s not good” claps 

Continues clapping for Crowley

“It tastes like molecules” “it’s a trap, Cas” “who is Frodo?” “Do we ever see another vampire?” “They’re terrible at communication. Never ending bull shit”

“That was a weird ending”