#ssstart

[razs-archetype]

Peculiar

Bonus

[ssstupid-sssnake]

fun fact about puppet au hayesss, their eyesss do that thing where they're alwaysss looking at you

[wren-snowfrost]

I am feeling so feral aviut you that i bit a ruler so hard it snapped

God I feel the exact sssssame you have no idea.

[the-sssnaker]

✨🐍✨ ~ This post has been snaked! ~ ✨🐍✨

🐍 Sssnoly sssnit!! I've sssninsspired a sssnenre... sssnank you sssquirrelifier <3

one THOUSAND notes

and I'll make a Squirrelifier blog.

Some examples:

Tumblr -> squmblr

Queer people -> squeer squeople

Eating acorns with my squirrel hands -> squeating squacorns squith my squirrel squands

It seems / sneems / squeems I'm the only -ifier (besides @post-uwuifier)... if any of you want to make an ifier blog, please do. I'm lonely (snonely. squonely.)

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: The Surgery

James H Longmore: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of joe's unwanted penis Longmore: it's a darkly humorous and bizarre parody of the bruce jenner story Poe: you mean Caitlyn jenner? Longmore: Longmore: what? Barker: oh yeah this really bodes well

Barker: she changed her name, she's caitlyn now Longmore: really? Barker: you didn't know? Barker: i mean she's in the news all the time for sucking Poe: clive Barker: what? she's not here Barker: i can say it Barker: just absolutely sucking

Longmore: my story is told from the point of view of the penis Longmore: the unwanted penis is mad because its been rejected like it was an ikea lamp Longmore: so making a lot of comments about Joe and his ruined, mutilated, gross, Frankenstein body Franz Kafka:

Franz Kafka: wow, so her own disembodied dick is misgendering her? Kafka: WOW Kafka: that is VERY Kafka: problematic Longmore: well, in the dick's defense, the dick was really mad at Joe! Kafka: and now its DEAD NAMING her!!!

Longmore: anyway Joe gets a vaginaplasty instead of hrt Kafka: "INSTEAD of?" Longmore: yeah Kafka: Kafka: Kafka: "INSTEAD OF???"

Longmore: anyway Joe has a vaginaplasty, during which they remove Joe's dick, balls, and prostate Kafka: THEY DON'T TAKE YOUR PROSTATE OUT DURING A VAGINAPLASTY!! Longmore: Longmore: are you sure about that? Kafka: YES! Kaka: I'VE DONE A SUSPICIOUS AMOUNT OF READING ABOUT THIS!

Barker: wow, franz, you know so much about trans issues Kafka: huh? oh yeah, i guess Kafka: i mean, it's just this thing I've kinda been into lately Kafka: i mean, trans rights are human rights, right?

Kafka: just seems self-evident Barker: oh yeah? you do? any reason why? Barker: for this recent interest hmmm? Poe: clive, leave her alone Poe: i mean leave him alone Poe: jesus christ you have me doing it now

Poe: clive stop harassing franz Poe: clive you know you don't have to be trans to care about trans rights Barker: ah ha oh edgar don't be so naive Poe: yeah you're probably right

Longmore: so the poor penis has been rejected JK Rowling: hello children Poe: oh great look who it is Poe: look who you brought here Poe: this is just great Poe: great

Rowling: ssso i hear the penissss iss ssad? Rowling: sso i hear that a transss perssson issss ressponsssible for thisss? Rowling: just more proof of their natural masssculine criminality Poe: this is stupid Barker: ah ha ha edgar Poe: no Poe: you're right this is stupid

Longmore: so the penis goes on a merry madcap chase to reunite with his former owner Longmore: who has since regretted transition Rowling: yess!! ha ha… YESSS!!

Rowling: there'sss ssssurgical regret too??? Rowling: a transss persssson feeling BAD??? Rowling: thisss ssstory hasss it all! Rowling: the ressst of you should ssstart telling ssstoriesss like thisss Rowling: way better than the usssual ssstuff you guysss tell!

UNRELATED: If you like our jokes, check out our indiegogo! Just added a tier where you can get all 3 volumes of Midnight Pals electronic books for cheap!

[alice-the-demon]

🔥 Hey, Pravus, what do you do now after the Hell Tower collapsed? And do you know any other Hell snakes you don't mind talking to? (Since they can't feel love, then at least amusement talking with them?)🔥

"After that cursssed angel dessstroyed the tower and ruined my massster's plan to ssstart the Apocalypse, we both went back to Hell. Lucifer held the grudge for what happened for three months, he made tantrums and vented with me and the other Deadly Sssins, which they became pretty tired of him. I don't blame them, hearing him moan about that balding chicken all the time can become a real headache, just like listening to those damned Chrissstmas sssongs you humansss always play every year. Thankfully he calmed down for now, asss much asss I know he's making a new plan to ssstart the Apocalypse once and for all. It isss dessstined to happen, after all."

"Asss for me? I didn't do much sssince then. I ssslept, ate, kept my master in company while giving me many complimentsss... I really don't care for the other Sssnakes in Hell, none of them are entertaining to be with."

[keeper0f-k3ys]

I'm so gross and awkward and awful uwaggghhhhhhh banging my head on a wall I'm ssstartting to think if I deactivate than ppl would just be relieved

"ong finally I hated talking to them"

"realll...I can't believe they thought we were friends...so needy!!"

like I know 😓. you dont have to say it out loud I already know ur thinking it 😓

[pitayas-parenting-journey]

Dark dragon : why does lychee dragon think that cookies are below us

*Pitaya is quiet for a moment. After all, how do you explain these things to a baby?*

Well... A lot of dragonsss put a lot of focusss on ssstrength when they determine worth and sssocial ssstanding. That'sss why they look down on Cookiekind, they think cookiesss are weak and frail. I... I usssed to be like that too, yearsss ago. But after being around Hollyberry enough, I ssstarted to change my mind about them.

*They silently hoped she wouldn't ask about why the other dragons treated it differently at times...*

[turok444]

[Tales from the fetish brothel part one berry boy ] After a month of saving and finnaly working up the courage, Brandon pushed through the large wooden doors of the fetish brothel. As he walked up to the receptionist, she greeted him with a big smile " hello sir welcome to the fetish brothel, were your evey desire comes true,how may I help you" she said cheerfully. Brandon was so nervous, she wore a tight latex dress that amplified her curvaceous form. He shudders than whispers in embarrassment, " my name is Brandon, and I have a appointment for the... berry experience "

"Ah yes I have you down for the berry experience with madame berry and oh... I see hear that you will be taking the role as the berry, is that correct?

His face went beet red,"ye... yes that's right" Brandon said in embarrassment

"Don't worry hun it's ok no judgment here, now if you would please follow me , I'll show you to your room, and don't worry, madame berry is verry sweet, she'll take good care of you."

As they walked down the dimly lit hallway, Brandon was overwhelmed with lustfull excitement, his entire adult life,he wished he could experience being blown up with juice, becoming so big and so heavy wile a beautiful woman took care of him. They finally reached the door and the receptionist opened it.

" go on in and make your self at home, madame berry will arive shortly."

The room was beautiful, it was dimly lit with blue lights, with a couch on one side and a huge bed on the other. The walls were cover in blue and black striped wall paper. Brandon approached the couch and sat down. A few moments later he heard a nock on the door.

"C...come in "he studderd

The door opens gently, as it opens the strong aroma of blueberrys fill the room,then a slight sloshing sound. Then she entered, the most beautiful woman he had ever saw. She had long brown hair that draped down over her shoulders,her skin was a pale blue. She wore a beautiful long blue silk dress that draped over her vast curves, her massive juice filled breast jiggling and swaying as they sat atop her round belly and her ass and hips were so wide you could seem them sloshing behind her.

He watched as she slowly strutted over and sat down next to him, the couch sank in around her massive butt causing him to slide closer to her, wile taking her hand and rubbing his thigh ,she began to stare deeply in to his eyes, in her warm soft voice she said.

"Hello sweetheart, my name is madame berry and I'm here to give you a very SWELL time" he felt him self grow more aroused with every word she spoke

"The Yong lady at the front desk told me... that you want to be the one who blows up hehe, this is gonna be fun I haven't blown up someone in a very long time ,usually men want to watch and feel me get huge with juice." Her hand moved closer to his groin.

He couldn't sit still he was squirming with arousal, he hadn't said a word yet ,he was entranced with her words.

"Now I must warn you , even if I juice you completely, you will still contain some remaining liquid and your body will be extremely sensitive" she said as she squeezed his thigh

All he could do was nod yes. She pulled a small blur pill from her vast cleavage "put this in your mouth and chew,it should start almost instantly , I do recommend taking your clothes off, but you probably won't fit in them afterwards. Hey listen to her commands,he starts to remove his clothes, as he does she starts stroking his back then gives his butt alittle smack, "I think your gonna fill out nicely " she whispers in his ear, making him blush again.

Now striped down to his boxers,Brandon takes the pill from her hand and places it on his tongue, he quickly swallowed it. She leans in and gives him a kiss. He starts groping her chest. Her boobs feel like giant water balloons, the strong smell of blueberrys still fill his nose, then a loud gurgle intrups there make out session.

"I...I think it's ssstarting" brandon said nervously

"Shhh calm down deer, it's ok just enjoy it" she said wile staring intensely at the blue pigment spreading around his belly button. With in a few seconds his entire body had turned blue. His body tingled all over ,everything was so sensitive, she began to kiss his neck when suddenly another gurgle came from his belly. Brandon's flat toned belly started to swell right before his eyes, he placed both hands on it and felt it push his hands apart. It felt better than he could have imagined, now aproching the size of a pot belly, madame berry grabbed a small hand full and gave it a jiggle.

Brandon felt the erg to stand up ,wile he did ,the madame noticed his butt looked rounder and gave it a smack, Brandon's now swelling butt jiggled violently, he made a slight yelp, "looks like your starting to fill out in other places as well hehe" she said playfully. Minutes pass buy and the two watch as the rest of Brandon's body starts to swell, his legs and thighs start to fill and swell looking thicccer by the second, his chest starts to expand with juice aswell giving him 2 swelling moobs for her to play with. Next his cheeks begin to swell as well as his lips and double chin.

A few more minutes pass buy and Brandon is now bigger than the madame, his belly jutting out like an over filled beach ball with two giant juice filled breast sitting atop, wile his soft tree trunk legs and thighs support his equally as large juice riddled butt cheeks. His boxers were now skin tight threatening to burst to peices at any second.

The madame sat watching him swell she loved how worked up he was getting, moaning constantly , she watched as he tried to move his swollen arms around his huge belly to try and pleasure him self but it was no use he was too big now and ot was getting harder for him to stand. He felt her hand gently grab his and start to lead him over to the bed. Taking his first step, he felt his whole body jiggle like jelly , it made him feel queezy but in a good way. Slowly each step got harder and harder because with each step he was getting bigger and bigger.

Finally reached the bed ,madame berry slowly turns Brandon's huge blue forme around and starts to help him sit down, then finnaly this boxers burst from his giant ass and hips sending him falling backwards onto the bed, his juice filled body landed with a bloomph, his whole body rippled and swayed like a vast ocean of juice, Brandon was now completely immobile.

Madame berry clamberd atop his giant blue belly her weight cause some of the juice to surge up to his face making his cheeks and lips swell up more. Stratling his kingsized blue belly she began to bounce slightly, Brandon felt the juice sloshing around in his body as she bounced. She leaned forward looking deep into his eyes, then said

"Now I got you right were I want you now let's have some fun". She slid off of his giant belly and made her way over to his now swollen cock and balls, she knelt down in front of them, using both hands she guides his giant blue shaft over to her mouth and starts gorging her self on it. She could barely fit it in her mouth ,she sucked it'd giant head wile both hands worked the shaft , he didn't last long, she felt his huge dick twitch then release a huge load of juice down her throat. She felt her body serge outward as she continued to drink from his dick, as she swelled bigger his body started to shrink slightly, giving it back some definition. Brandon finally finished cumming, but then he felt his body start to swell again back to the size he was before. Madame berry struggled again her new weight as she stood back up "oh boy that was intense " she said out of breath. The she removed her still oversized dress letting her juice body free. She quickly straddled his dick and inserted it into her warm pussy and started riding it. Her giant blue tits bouncing up and down wile her huge blue but cheeks slapped against his huge blue belly making it jiggle violently as well as the rest of his body. And like last time she felt his member twich inside her. Brandon's huge blueberry cock shot juice into her like a fire hose ,her entire body began to rapidly swell as his started to shrink, more minutes pass buy as he emptys all of the juice into her. Now "laying " on her juice filled belly, Brandon slides out of her now juice filled pussy, he waddles his still slightly swollen body over to her head ,her face was so swollen, she manages to get out one sentence "your trun to juice me"...

[leopardsealz]

to ssstart an inferno, i need only breathe!

[ask-lute]

Brittle Shells

Part 3: On Egg Shells

Pentious sits on Emily's couch, knowing that any day Lute will make her move. He's nearly sick with anxiety. Emily tries her best to calm his worries, knowing that the only thing she can do is assure him he'll be safe in her house. He is frustrated with this idea, he wants his freedom, he wants to be able to walk the streets of heaven without a mask like everyone else.

“Pen, I know it's difficult but...we'll figure it out, I promise.” Emily says trying to maintain her optimistic tone of voice.

“The most dangerous exorcist in heaven wantsss my head, Missss Emily, pardon me if I'm not the mossst posssitive about my situation.” He knows his tone was harsher than he'd like with someone who's been so nice to him. “I'm sssorry, Missss Emily, I-”

His phone rings, Emily and he share a worried look. It shows a text from Vienna. She's asking to meet him in Samson's Glade two hours from now.

“Emily, this isss it, I need you to tell Sera that it'sss happening, she's making her move. I have sssome plans to make.” Pentious says with a look of fierceness Emily has never seen before.

“Pen, you...aren't going to face her alone are you?” Emily says almost pleading him to say he'll stay here.

“No, my dear, I won't be alone.” His fierce expression becomes a sly grin as he looks at his eggs. “MINIONS! We have been training for this, ready yourself!” He kneels to Phil and whispers something

“Yes, Boss! It's right here!” Phil says much louder than he should while patting his coat pocket and Pentious flashes him a look telling him to keep quiet.

“Ope! Sorry, Boss!” Phil then nods silently.

“Minionsss, come with me, we mussst get in position.” Pentious says as he glances at the phone. “We don't have much time, I have to respond back sssoon. Emily, tell Sera to meet us in about 2 hours, we'll have this under control.”

Emily opens her mouth to speak then stops and thinks for a moment. “Pen, please don't underestimate her, and don't get too close.” She says as she leaves to tell Sera.

About 25 minutes pass as Pentious and the eggs make their way to the glade. Pentious points his eggs in different directions, takes Shelley and finds a shallow cave to hide in. She's likely to be a bit blinded by her need for revenge so chances are she'll only survey the immediate area. He takes the next 20 minutes to steady his nerves. He finally sends his response. A few moments pass and he hears heavy wings and a slight squeak of a branch under someone's weight. It may be a bit early for the agreed upon meeting but Pentious knows his plan is solid.

“Here you go Shelley, just sssit right there and we'll be ready to get this project ssstarted, eh, Lute?!”

His throat fills with a lump as she lands in front of him but he takes a breath and gets ready to put on his strongest voice.

“Pentious. You know what this is.” She says feigning the same confidence she had when she thought the element of surprise was hers.

“Yesss, I had caught wind of your little revenge plot, my dear. Miss Vienna was a good ssspy, I admit it took me a moment to catch on, but ssshe knew a little too much about me, from sssources that would never reveal it.” Pentious says with some smarm.

He watches as Lute grips her sword and he narrows his eyes. Now or never. He thinks as he glares at her.

“Phil now!” Pentious gives the command and Phil jumps to his feet, having been disguising himself as a rock. But Eggbert and Gregg come out of each side, flanking Lute. Each equipped with a death ray made by Pentious himself. He knows this won't do much damage but that isn't the point because as Lute is caught off guard by the two on her sides she feels a sharp pain in her back.

Lute screams and turns her head to see Phil holding a golden stained angelic blade. Her eyes show a fury only seen when the battle was turning for that hotel.

Phil looks at her expression, then looks at Pentious and flashes a soft smile. “Bye, Bo...Dad.” And he tosses the blade to Pentious's feet.

Pentious looks at Phil, “N-no, get out of there!”

A sword slides through the poor egg and he's gone. The first egg Pentious found in Heaven, the little egg he viewed as one of his children is gone. He picks up the blade and looks back to Lute. She's staggering and bracing against her sword for balance but her eyes still look like golden flames ready to go scorched earth.

[ssstupid-sssnake]

I ssstarted drawing thisss at two in the morning haha (I am ssso sssleepy)

Pleassse pleassse PLEASSSE click for better quality

[fang-kwon-do-master]

Why are you being buddy buddy with their sensei

How dare you. Trussst me, I am not a fan of that man. But, ssstarting fights for no reason right now would be foolish.

It would be a wassste of resources and time. Both of which are being used for more important thingsss.

I am only cooperating ssso that he'll keep hisss fight-happy ninja in check.

[panvnsleake]

Oh okay you can have my lungs then 😁😁😁 we can be roommates and my roommates I mean. You’re going to ingulf my lungs I think but you’re cool so idc

YAYYY... -MOLDY (I SHOULD JUST SSSTART CALLING MYSSSELF FUNGI...)

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: BBC

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children JK Rowling: today we begin our biggessssst challenge Jesse Singal: bigger than convincing our terf legion that men have a special bone that makes them good at chess? JK Rowling: no that was remarkably easssy actually

JK Rowling: today we rehabilitate graham lineham Singal: b-but mommy! Singal: graham lineham is the one terf too toxic for the BBC Rowling: isss he? Rowling: the whole point of the BBC is to launder terfsss Rowling: itsss time they ssstarted doing their job!

Rowling: maybe if we cleaned him up a little Graham Lineham: FECK ARSE [vomits] Rowling: we could try teaching him a few sssimple phrasses Rowling: enough that he could move out of my basssement

Rowling: will you not just give it a go graham [pointing at  blackboard on which is written "yes" and "I am being silenced for my views"] Lineham: y-y-y Rowling: yesss! yessss! keep going!! Lineham: [inarticulate slurs] Rowling: Rowling: better

Rowling: come on graham i know you can do it Lineham: [inarticulate slurs] Rowling: graham if you sssay the line, there will be a little treat in it for you Lineham: [inarticulate slurs]? Rowling: yesss Rowling: sssay the line Rowling: and you can sssleep in your racecar bed

Rowling: finally! now graham is ready for hissss big debut on the BBC Lineham: [inarticulate slurs] Singal: golly mommy he sounds the same! Rowling: Rowling: yeah well Rowling: they can fix it in possst

BBC Announcer: welcome to the BBC, coming up is Part 8 of Sir Nigel Hemmingwedge St. Plonkington's 12 part documentary on the St. Slurryshire cheesemonger guild, followed by Are You Being Served? and the Brexit is Going Great report BBC Announcer: but first some light revisionism

BBC Announcer: joining us is graham lineham who has some views worth considering Lineham: [vomits] FECK ARSE Lineham: [inarticulate slurs] JK Rowling: what graham meansss issss we jussst have sssome concernsss Rowling: and you BETTER consssider them

Rowling: real nice sstudio you got here, BBC Rowling: be a real shame if ssomething were to happen to it Rowling: like, sssay, you had to film another cormoran ssstrike ssseries here BBC Announcer: no no! anything but that! we'll consider your concerns! Rowling: sssee that you do

[arwenkenobi48]

Sir Hiss: your highnesss, please don’t ssstart huffing and puffing

Prince John: don’t tell me not to start huffing and puffing, or I’ll start hissing and pissing!