#stan uris hc

[incorrect-losers]

!Losers road-trip headcanons!

Mike and Richie switch off driving. Mike drives the majority of the time but when he gets tired Richie takes the wheel. Because of this most of the time that Richie is driving everyone is asleep. And Richie’s an asshole attention whore so this usually ends with him swerving and break checking on an empty freeway to wake them all up.

The one time Beverly was driving she got pulled over (because she was speeding and swerving while messing with Eddie), the officer thought she was drunk and asked her to walk in a straight line on the road divider. She did a perfectly straight cartwheel over it. She did end up getting a speeding ticket.

Before they leave Eddie makes everyone a list of what to pack and signs off on them after looking at their luggage. Stan hates this because he’s the one the organizes and packs up the van. Eddie tells people to pack way too much unnecessary shit.

Bill makes them stop every few hours if he sees a cool site to take pictures (they’re usually references for scenery in his books). “Mike, Mike! Pull over!! Take the exit! Please pleeeease. I need a picture with the ominous light!!”

*the picture

Ben gets really carsick so he usually gets shotgun so that he can look out the windshield. He often tries to play his music because “shotgun gets control of the radio guys c’mon”which is typically met with ‘you’re only there on a technicality Ben!’ or ‘nobody wants to listen to the nkotb man.’

Stan maps out the roots and this way he’s able to assure that they can hit all the stops he wants to go to. “Oh hey wow look, it’s the world’s largest rocking chair! Maybe we should take a little pit stop?” They all know what he’s doing but they always go along with it.

Without fail every time Mike sees a haystack or hay bale he’ll go “Hey!” and point everyone falls for it and he finds it hilarious.

[laz-262]

fuck it farmer’s market with the bois

very much inspired by this wonderful post by @chiniichee

[coloringthebanner]

the quarry scene but they’re girls

[wolftozier]

sorry that art made me think about the losers sharing clothes and now im like. foaming at the mouth. mikey and bill lose all their jackets in the winter bc everyone steals theirs. bev and eddie have half their closet made up of richie's shirts however they still continue to tell richie he has a terrible sense in fashion. stan letting richie borrow his kippot. ben and mikey share belts and hats. eddie plays along with being bev's dress up doll sometimes. neither bev or richie or even mike when he grows his hair out too remember hair ties so the other losers carry them around on their wrists. richie's stolen three pairs of ben's sweatpants just in this past week. socks dont have owners they just float around between everyone. yeah.

[sunshinereddie]

i think that stanley would actually really enjoy horror movies because he is very much the type of person who is like "it's not real. it's a movie. i know it's not real, so why would i be scared of it. what do you mean this movie is scary, it's literally people acting it's not real" and so because of that whenever the losers have movie night he always chooses a horror movie.

and, im also imagining that he does this because richie DOES get scared of horror movies (payback for when richie made fun of him for being scared of spiders)

also!!! he finds out that patty ALSO loves horror movies so for their first date stan finds this drive-in movie thing that is playing horror movies all night, so he takes her there and they have a movie marathon together :3

[t4tozier]

okay guys you’ve forced my hand

losers club fursonas

richie - brown bear. duh. or a hyena :)

eddie - stoat! little guys with too much energy. have y’all seen that video of the stoat on the trampoline? that’s eddie

bev - i’m picturing glamrock chica from fnaf but that doesn’t count so. sabertooth tiger. i think she deserves it

bill - grey wolf. pack leader <3 or a golden retriever

mike - clouded leopard. that’s the one that’s very paws right? idk it’s just vibes

ooh or a stag. i think i like that better

ben - otter or beaver :)

stan - possum. get it. ‘cause they p. ‘cause they play dead

or an african grey parrot

[thelosers-club]

headcanon that the losers exchange gifts in december just for the fun of it. richie always gives gag gifts and eddie is always complaining about it, bev and ben always put all their thought and care into their gifts, usually ben buys the losers a book that he spent awhile picking out, but nobody besides mike and eddie actually reads them. bev and bill just buys them action figures and comic books, which they all appreciate. stan makes everyone a card and just puts a couple dollars in them, and mike and eddie just buy clothes because they can never think of anything else

[cwcthzl]

richie and stan would fucking hate taylor swift

[byler-is-endgame7]

stan DEFINITELY corrects everyone with “actually,” whenever they say something wrong 

and richie DEFINITELY mocks him all the time for it 

“this is gonna cost us $3.00 we won’t have enough guys” 

“actually, stan,” *pushing up glasses* “it’s $2.99 so-”

“richie sHUT UP”

[whatthefuckisasweep]

you've heard of selectively mute Bill now get ready for nonverbal Stan

anon. anon. ANON. I LOVE YOU.

[the-losers-are-still-losing]

the losers do powerpoint night

stan goes first, his presentation is titled ‘the losers as bird species’. they’re all really niche species and nobody really understands what he’s saying, but his reasons are really accurate and he finds himself pretty funny.

bill is next, his is short but sweet and simply describes his ideas for the losers’ next days out. everybody gets excited discussing plans, dates, similar alternatives, and eventually all of the ideas he puts forward do happen (and they all enjoy them very much).

ben and eddie have collaborated on theirs to create ‘the losers as disney characters’. unbeknownst to them until now, ben has spent painstaking hours photoshopping each of the losers’ faces onto each of their assigned characters, which everybody finds incredibly funny. it’s also highly obvious that ben was the one to assign ariel to bev, whilst it was eddie who chose vanellope von schweetz for richie.

mike presents his top five derry conspiracy theories, which isn’t actually as boring as you’d expect from the title. he presents each and every point with genuine detail and has clearly done his research, but the theories themselves are so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh. he’s fully aware of this and makes it clear that of course he doesn’t seriously believe in them (okay, maybe one or two of them).

bev and richie’s joint project finishes the night (after having begged everybody to let them go last, convinced that theirs is a high note to end on). the duo present ‘the losers as our favourite memes’, and proceed to spam their eyes with the most chaotic tik toks, textposts and cursed images. they both claim they worked very very hard on this and that they should be taken completely seriously, but their powerpoint actually takes the longest to present since they can’t help but crease up laughing for a full minute every time they change the slide.

[freak4it]

absolutely LOVE their friendship. this is them, cannot change my mind.

[marcomilkie]

Richie: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Stan, not looking up from his book: Spear.

Richie: BLOCKED.

[wolftozier]

stozier cat parents. thats it send the tweet

[greenpidge101]

hc that richies teeth r a mess and went totally hates it cause it makes him look bad and richie gets braces and hates them but he gets the brightest color they had available cause he loves bright colors

also his style of comedy is so so rachel sennott ( look her up if u dont know who she is please shes hilarious ) which is why i feel like he gets into acting in like absurd comedies and it kinda sticks and eventually falls into actually acting

bill loves drawing the other losers when they r not paying attention and little sketches and doodles cover his school work ( the others think its so endearing )

on days when his stutter is really bad bill goes nonverbal but the losers include him easily cause he is honestly kinda an open book with his intentions and emotions so they always know what he wants

eddie hates walking long distances and is always asking for piggyback rides ( adding to the eddie should hate nyc but when anyone brings it up he gaslights them cause he has always wanted to live there agenda )

however eddie loves running and is always racing people because he knows he will win even though hes short ( richie hates it cause his legs are too long and he is really awkward and oddly slow when he tries to run. if he actually gets fast he almost always trips cause he is so clumsy and then eddie is way in front of him )

bev gives richie and bill amateur piercings full parent trap style and at least one of them gets infected. when they r older she convinces ben to let her pierce his ears. eddie hates it and is always like “i am not helping when it gets infected” but does anyway

she also makes friendship bracelets and the losers freak when they find out and they all are always wearing at least two

in some an au stan becomes an ornithologist but like just in an au where the losers dont split up during the time jump they buy him a bird like as soon as they move out of derry and it is stans favorite thing ever

stan is really good at hiding his emotions but he always stims when he is overwhelmed or upset and it is a clear giveaway. he has been doing it since he was really little and now cant stop

mike loves animals and shows off all the farm animals to the other losers and also def has a dog that eddie loves but pretends not to even though the dog also loves him

mike is also the loser who everyone goes to for advice for literally anything and has the ability to make anyone feel better like instantly the others have no idea how he does it

ben loves the act of designing buildings but was never that good at math so college was a little rough. also his interest in archeology started after he read percy jackson in middle school cuz annabeth loved archeology

he also slips into a country accent whenever he gets really comfortable and the losers think its amazing ( richies country accent is just him trying and failing to copy ben )

richie and ben light up the room when they are truly happy. richie because his happiness is loud and unavoidable and ben because his radiates off him in waves and spreads to those around him

sorry thats a lot im done i just kept going

PLEASE KEEP GOING, THESE ARE SO GOOD OMG!!!!!!

♾️/10