#starts sucking again and continues to suck until the end then none of this matters. but as of rn im hopeful!

[fizzlehead]

ok not to be delusional but what if this season has been bad on purpose. what if all of the dumb boring shit has been them saying “this is what riverdale could have been all along if we had cared about being normal and making a ‘faithful’ adaptation of the comics but instead we’re insane so the show has been what it is. but it COULDVE been this” and now after torturing us with that for a while they’re breaking down those expectations all over again, bringing us back to the riverdale we know and love and taking it even further than ever before by making beronica real and archie bi….like only after coming face to face with this horrible alternate vision of what riverdale could have been can we truly truly appreciate it for what it actually is and has been all along. and im not saying i necessarily LIKE that the whole season has sucked but if this is the case and they did that on purpose then maybe i get it.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Fuck your boyfriend, he’s a bitch.

Barbie dolls: Mattheo riddle x you

Word count: 3k-ish

Summary: your boyfriend Cormac is a piece of shit and Mattheo is tired of him totally most definitely not inspired by this sound

Warnings: Theo is called a spaghetti whore?, Cormac sucks, reader gets called a bitch, you’re friends with Pansy and she knows a lot of girls, Mattheo mentions sex, Cheating on Cormac’s side and then kinda cheating with reader bc theyre like flirtyish with Mattheo but its fineeeeeee, honestly Cormac’s kinda abusive, it gets kinda extra fanficy at the end but just consider it camp, reader punches Cormac :0, i think that’s it tbh

Your relationship with Cormac McLaggen had started as any relationship in Hogwarts did, a trip to Hogsmeade. You thought he was cute and he seemed sweet enough. So you continued to date him, much to your friends dismay. Draco complained about McLaggen's house. Blaise pointed out his habit of making obscene sexual comments to just about every girl who would breathe near him. Theo explained the time that he ran into McLaggen and Cormac called him a "spaghetti whore." Theo had a few choice words about Cormac, getting so heated he slipped entirely into Italian. You only picked up on a few words you remembered him teaching you in third year, none of which you would translate out loud. Pansy mentioned how he "sucked ass" at Quidditch. Lorenzo told you the filthiest rumors you've ever heard and truly wondered where he heard them. You were a little upset that all your friends disapproved of your new boyfriend. Mattheo had stayed silent the second Cormac's name slipped off your tongue. You turned to him, staring at him. Mattheo clicked his tongue. You didn't need him to say anything, rolling your eyes. You stood up, leaving the Slytherin common room all together.

After that your relationship was a touchy subject in your friend group. Often you'd all just ignore it entirely. When Cormac would interrupt, which was more frequent than you liked, everyone would fall silent and glare at him as he tugged you out of your seat. Though sometimes they would bring it up with you, every one of them always had some bad words to say about your boyfriend. Everyone, except Mattheo. He never spoke about it. Though that didn't mean Mattheo's point wasn't known. Often if Cormac's face was shown or even mentioned, all of a sudden Mattheo went silent. He was clenching his jaw, rolling his eyes, and clicking his tongue every two minutes. If he wasn't showing his hatred physically, Lorenzo or Theo would be reporting back to you. Theo always told you all the distasteful names Mattheo called Cormac. Lorenzo always told you the different ways Mattheo planned on torturing your boyfriend. No matter what he told the boys, Mattheo never said anything to you.

Until now.

You had planned on spending the weekend with your friends, whether that meant a sleepover, almost sacrificing Draco, or teaching Theo how to play charades. You thought it would be fine by Cormac because he never asked you out or made plans with you. You had a spectacular time with them. Just one hour with your friends and you were already feeling the stresses of your school week wash away. All of you laying in the courtyard grass as Draco ranted about his god awful experiences this week. Theo popping in his opinion every few minutes but the group was still filled with laughs and giggles. You were sat at the bottom of the tree you were all scattered around. It was peaceful and happy until you heard someone stopping towards you, the shuffling of a bulky Quidditch uniform. You peered around the tree to see Cormac storming towards you. Your friends noticed your sudden stiffness, looking to the source of the noise. You heard most of them groan.

"Not this bitch again." Blaise muttered.

"Stronzo" Theo whispered under his breath.

"I have got to get my father to hire an assassin." You rolled your eyes at Draco. You heard the muttering of Cormac approaching closer to you. He finally reached you, tapping you roughly on your shoulder. You looked up at him and smiled.

"Why hello, lovely boyfriend. Whatever can I do for you?" You wished your friends had chuckled or laughed but they all winced.

"Save it." Cormac grunted, pulling you up by your forearm. You quickly grabbed the strap to your bag, hauling it over your shoulder. Cormac noticed his glaring crowd of Slytherins. He leaned into your ear before angrily whispering to you.

"What happened to watching your Lovely boyfriend at Quidditch practice? Hm? 'Stead of watching me you're over here dicking around with your freak friends."

"Don't call them freaks."

"Shut up, do not interrupt me when I'm talking. You know my family has a saying? If a bitch doesn't know their place, beat them into it-" Cormac's grip on your arm tightened. You glanced down at his knuckles whitening.

"That's enough out of you Cormac." You looked up at Mattheo. This was truly the first time he said something disapproving of Cormac in front of you. Cormac rolled his eyes, tugging on your arm for you to follow him.

"Release their arm, you incomplete little dickhead." Pansy said, standing up next to Mattheo. You glanced around as all of your friends began to stand up. You suddenly felt like you were watching a children's movie and they were all going to break into song and dance. You wrenched your arm out of Cormac's grasp, stomping off to the Quidditch pitch. Cormac chasing after you and chiding you. You watched Cormac's practice, you cheered, and you ignored your friends for two days straight.

When you did return to them they didn't mention your boyfriend but they kept reminding you of how they supported you. Draco told you he'd hire a very good assassin for you if you gave him the word. No one mentioned Cormac's name but all of a sudden your friends were mentioning their deadliness. You told them you could handle yourself. You didn't need your friends to fight your battles. Sure Cormac said some odd things but it had been a particularly bad day for him. He treated you greatly but he just had a rough time and mishandled it that day. Pansy told you on your next birthday she was gifting you with Cormac's skull. Through all of their planned homicides, Mattheo stayed quiet.

At first you appreciated his silence because at least he wasn't telling you how he'd brutally murder your boyfriend. Now you were annoyed. You used to talk to him all the time, spending all your free time with him. Now Mattheo couldn't even look you in your eye when Cormac was mentioned. With more of Cormac’s appearances, the less Mattheo talked to you. Not only was he neglecting your friendship now he was neglecting to speak to you. You were starting to wish he'd tell you all the ways he'd decapatate Cormac just so he'd talk to you. So you hung out with your friends less. Their constant gorey talk and Mattheo's silence just made it difficult for you to sit through a conversation with them.

It'd been weeks since you last talked to them. You missed them but you had a feeling if you returned they'd make a stink about it. You saw them in the halls while Comarc walked you to wherever he wanted. Mattheo always grimaced at Cormac's hand on the back of your neck, dodging your eyes. Cormac seemed to trip suddenly when Pansy reached into her pocket. So you avoided them like the plague.

Weeks later, You placed your books back where you found them, humming to yourself. You had spent the whole day in the library. You sat in the window nook. Your stacks of read books growing taller around you. You didn't fully finish most of them but you skimmed them and that was enough for you. It felt nice to be alone and peaceful. No Cormac. No Mattheo. No drama. No Quidditch practice. No "oh come watch me arm wrestle Fred Weasley I'm going to beat him." And then lose nonsense. Just you, a peaceful room, and a good couple hundred of books.

"Hey baby, come here often?" And in comes Mattheo. You glanced behind yourself. He was leaning against a bookshelf, looking through the titles of your books.

"Oooh sorry handsome, I have a boyfriend. Awe." He smiled at you, happy to have you joking back with him. Mattheo rolled his eyes at you, remembering that you mentioned Cormac.

"Fuck your boyfriend. He's a bitch. You can do better." You sighed picking up more off your floating stack of books. You did not respond. Mattheo followed after you, taking a few books off the top himself.

"You know how at store if you buy something you can return it and swap it out for a new one? You can do that with your funk ass boyfriend too."

"Mm hm yeah, whatever you say Matty." You flicked your wand. Your books flying off the stack back towards their home. Mattheo held his stack out towards you. You snatched the books out of his hands, sending them back to their original spot.

"Come on, baby. We miss you. Not your skank ass boyfriend but that's besides the point. Come on are you really going to cut your friends out because your boyfriend is all "be my slave, suck my dick, make me dinner my tummy's rumbling"?" Mattheo stuck his arms out and wobbled like a zombie as he mocked Cormac. You deadpanned at him.

"Yes. That is exactly how my partner treats me." You said laced with severe sarcasm. Mattheo pointed at you.

"See. I'm glad you've realized that. But seriously, there's no way he treats you well. His middle name is Cornelius." You glared at Mattheo as you finished putting back your last book. You stifled your laugh and schooled your features. Mattheo caught it though, his grin growing.

"I mean does he even listen to the Smiths thinking of you?"

"Which one? Girlfriend in a Coma?" Mattheo’s face fell as he glared at you. Not the same one he sent to Cormac, this one was softer around the edges.

"Ha. Ha. Baby, come on. Does he even fantasize about your future together? Does he even get sick to his stomach thinking of how much he cares for you? Does he ever just look at you? To watch how pretty you are? Or does he just look at you when you can give him something?" You thought for a moment. You started to realize how little Cormac actually did for you. You covered up your concerns with a bright smile.

"Don't you have friends? Or do you only bother poor defenseless people in the library?" Mattheo rolled his eyes. He leaned against the table behind him.

"Mm hm. Listen baby, you can call me if you need anything. To beat up your-"

"Just say boyfriend"

"Punk ass boyfriend, if you feel lonely, if you need to get rid of a body, if McLaggen can't figure out how to make you cum and you need a very enthusiastic dildo, if you want arsenic to kill McLaggen, whatever I'm here for you." Mattheo gently grabbed your wrist and tugged you closer to him. He rubbed your back as he stared up at you with puppy eyes.

“If he hears you talking like that I think he’ll have your head.” You whispered to him. Mattheo shrugged. You intertwined your fingers behind Mattheo’s head. His fingers gently tracing shapes on your back. Cormac was never gentle. He always tapped you a little too hard, pulled you roughly, yanked on your clothes until you heard stitches pop. Mattheo would take his time with you while Cormac would always try to get something out of you the fastest. He always felt like he was racing against his own personal best to see how fast he could ruin your day. Mattheo tilted his head gaining your attention again.

“Could not care less about that little-“ you pressed your finger to his lips. Mattheo closed his mouth.

“I have to go.”

“To him?” You rolled your eyes at Mattheo.

“Yes I have to go, I have a date with my boyfriend.” Mattheo nodded. Just as you were about to pass him entirely, he reached out and caught your wrist.

“If he says anything to you, I mean anything. Friendly reminder; I keep my wand with me and I’m fully ready to Avada McLaggen.” It felt strange with him saying such terrible things while staring at you with such warm eyes.

“I love it when you talk dirty.” You whispered. Mattheo groaned and released your hand. He stood up from his seat on the table and disappeared behind the bookshelves. You smiled as you left to Library off to your date.

You truly tried to ignore Mattheo’s words. It’s like when you walk into someone’s home and all you smell is dog but they can’t smell anything. You become so accustomed to the smell you don’t even recognize it. Well Cormac’s shameful behavior was the dog smell and Mattheo was pointing it out. All of a sudden you started noticing things. You saw how anytime you decided to do something on your own he’d get upset. Asking if you were going to go see your “freaky Slytherin friends”. He never looked at you unless he was thinking about undressing you. You always felt cold under his eyes like you were vulnerable. Mattheo was right, McLaggen sucked. So you decided that was it. Only problem was figuring out how to end it.

You sent Pansy a long winded letter, apologizing to her and the boys, begging, crying, and plotting your breakup. You watched her as she stared at the letter on her plate from Cormac’s side. Cormac was squeezing your shoulder, always a little too hard. As Pansy started reading while pushing the nosey boys away, a smile grew. When she finished the letter she glanced over at you. Pansy grinned at you as hid your smile with McLaggen’s cloak. Pansy denied showing the boys her private letter, stuffing it into her pocket. She met you where you told her to in your letter and you both spent the night plotting. Pansy knew a girl, who knew a girl, who knew a girl, who knew a girl, who knew a girl, and that girl knew McLaggen. According to Pansy’s informants McLaggen has a crush on some Ravenclaw. Luckily Pansy also knew this girl. Pansy seemed to know a lot of girls. Pansy talked to this Ravenclaw and this Ravenclaw happened to be what Pansy would call a “girls girl.”

Here’s the plan: Ravenclaw Girl will wear her best dress. You will convince Cormac to go to this party. You’ll ask him to go get you a drink. At the drink station, Ravenclaw Girl will flirt with Cormac. He’s utter garbage so of course he’ll reciprocate. Ravenclaw Girl will ask him to follow her up to her room. You’ll wait a couple minutes and all of a sudden oh no where ever has your boyfriend gone best go look for him and now you’ve walked in on your unfaithful lover. Stage a scene in front of everyone, he probably calls you a couple bad names, you breakup and you’re back in business. You’ll be back with your freaky slytherin friends, flirting with Mattheo as friends of course, and calling Cormac every atrocious name in the book.

So the night of the party you dress in the best outfit you knew Cormac wouldn’t fuss about. It was going to be a great terrible night. You hadn’t felt this much excitement since before your god awful relationship started. Cormac complained about the stairs as you both made your way to the party. The music was too loud, the lights were too bright, the people stank too much, but nothing could bring you down. You were beaming even though you spent the first hour sitting on a blue velvet couch tucked under Cormac’s arm. Finally, you pointed out to Cormac you were a little thirsty. He groaned and stood up, moving to the drinks. You watched him from across the room. A beautiful girl with braids that turned blue at the ends approached him.

You understood Cormac’s attraction, she was stunning. Her hair reached just past the small of her back. She had dramatic, sweeping, bright blue winged eyeliner and a blue dress that swayed with her movements. It stopped at her mid thigh, trimmed with black lace. You would cheat on Cormac with her any day. You smothered your grin as you saw her gently tug him up the stairs of the girls dormitroys.

You waited a few minutes. You caught Pansy’s eyes across the room. She gave you a sinful grin and mimicked it. You looked around you. “Searching” for your faithful boyfriend.

“Oh boyfriend, where have you gone? Boyfriend where ever did you go? Oh no I can’t seem to find my lovely boyfriend, Cormac. Best go check the dorms.” You whispered to yourself. You stood and slowly made your way upstairs. You wanted to give Cormac plenty of time to get comfortable with Ravenclaw Girl. You flung open the door Ravenclaw Girl had marked with her necklace around the handle. Cormac had his tongue down her throat his hands squeezing her thighs. You gasped loudly.

“Oh. My. God.” The girl pulled back and gasped just as you did. She covered her mouth with her hands. Cormac spun around and his face fell when he looked at you. He tried to explain this away but all his excuses sounded like an extravagant way to say I tripped and fell I didn’t mean to. You let him have it. You screamed at him. You pulled out the waterworks. You stormed away from him. He followed you still trying to explain this whole situation away. The girl followed after him wanting to see this up close and personal. You spun around when you reached the middle of the stairs, visible to everyone. You called him every name in the book.

“You lying, cheating, filthy, disgusting, revolting, bastard.” You raised an octave with each insult. You saw the people around you turn to look out of the corner of your eye. Cormac tried to get a word in but you cut him off . You spilled everything how he had you working, spending all your time taking care of him and he couldn’t even have the decency to be faithful. Pansy joined you at your side, rubbing your back and glaring at Cormac. You kept yelling and scolding halfway through you noticed most of the crowd had gathered around. You kept shouting and when you finally let everything out you stared at Cormac as you caught your breath. He opened his mouth the second you closed yours. Cormac called you every degrading name he could think of. It didn’t bother you, he said them all before. Then he said it, he crossed the line.

“You hate yourself so much instead of being with a high value male like myself you’d rather fuck the disgusting freak that is Voldemort’s child” You felt your blood boil. You were going to kill Cormac McLaggen. Just not today, maybe tomorrow. You swung and hit him in the nose. Cormac’s head shot back as he quickly gripped his nose. The crowd oooed. Pansy gasped and let out an excited squeal. You heard your friends cheering.

“That’s my fucking girl.” You rolled your eyes at Mattheo’s yells and turned towards Pansy.

“Ready to go?” She nodded. As you turned to walk away Cormac spoke up from his place leaning on the stairs banister.

“I’ll gut you like a fish, and keep your-“ Mattheo’s drink flew at McLaggen’s face, drenching him.

“God just shut your mouth already.” Mattheo added, joining you at your side. The rest of the boys followed after you each stopping by McLaggen to toss in an insult. Blaise had to drag Theo away. Apparently that spaghetti whore comment still made his blood boil. Even the Ravenclaw Girl tossed in one, following after your group.

“You’re really hot when you punched your boyfriend in the face.” Mattheo whispered next to your ear as you all pushed through the crowd.

“Ex-boyfriend. And trust me I know.” You patted Mathheo’s cheek.

[angelskills]

JJK men reacting to you saying you got a brazilian wax from a man, would love if Gojo and Toji were included :3

a/n: thank u for the req!! this is too funny LMAOO 😭😭😭😭, I'm not sure if you wanted smut or just overall silliness, so i wrote silliness and smut for Sukuna, if you want smut pls request again! I'm gonna be writing this character accurately! you might not think this is accurate, but if you want something else, pls be more specific and request again! I'll be more than happy to write, NOT PROOFREAD :)

JJK men reacting to you getting a Brazilian wax

characters: Sukuna, Gojo, Choso, Toji, Naoya

warnings: None really for Gojo, Choso or Toji, Misogyny Naoya and smut for Sukuna

‹𝟹﹒Gojo

⪩⪨﹒Satoru always has a big reaction whenever you get a Brazilian wax in general, doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman.

⪩⪨﹒You got your Brazilian wax done on a Saturday, and usually, Satoru doesn't work that day. This time, you forgot to tell him.

⪩⪨﹒You came home, still feeling a bit of pain in your private area from the waxing. Satoru heard the front door open and rushed there, checking to see if you were there. He was in his blue apron with a pan in his hand. You pointed your hand out, signaling for him to take your purse.

⪩⪨﹒"Where were you?" he asked. You told him about the Brazilian wax and apologized for leaving without telling him, you pointed out that you got it done by a man but, he just ignored it.

⪩⪨﹒You couldn't believe that man. He actually got on his knees and started petting your lower abdomen, "Aww, I can't pet it anymoreeeee."

⪩⪨﹒You were so tired of him. You smacked his head with your purse, he's driving you absolutely crazy with these jokes. He started pointing and laughing at you. You swear you wanted to kill him right there, but you ended up giving in and laughed too.

✹﹒Toji

⪩⪨﹒Toji made sure you always got your Brazilian wax done by a woman. But this time, you didn't tell him about it, and made an appointment yourself, not knowing your waxer would be a man.

⪩⪨﹒Toji happened to not have work that day, and you came home to him, though you were expecting him to be at work.

⪩⪨﹒You were telling Toji about your day as he was on his phone, taking a sip from the cup of tea.

⪩⪨﹒As you continued speaking, "I swear, he-",

"He?" He interrupted, choking on his tea, "You got the wax done by another man?"

⪩⪨﹒He was a very jealous man, and you knew that. You knew this would be bad, "Well, I didn't know and it was too late to-"

He stood up and cupped your jaw gently, making you look up at him, his eyes burning with jealousy, "Don't ask no other man to do that for ya. If there are no female waxers, then I'll go ahead and do it myself, don't matter if I know how to or not."

⪩⪨﹒You had the fucking of your LIFE that night, nearly said your safeword, and almost passed out. You promised yourself you will NEVER get your wax done by a man AGAIN.

ᗢ﹒Sukuna

⪩⪨﹒Sukuna never really cared whether you got your Brazilian wax done by a man or a woman, as long as he could fuck you, he was good.

⪩⪨﹒You finally came home from your waxing appointment, looking around the house for your boyfriend, Sukuna. Until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in. Sukuna buried his head in your neck, kissing and biting on it.

⪩⪨﹒You chuckled and talked about the waxing appointment, you also mentioned how it was a man, but he seemed to really not give a fuck. But, he was happy because that man was excited to fuck your brain out.

⪩⪨﹒He carried you to the bed, burying his head in between your thighs. He kissed your lower thigh and worked his way back up. You felt him press his tongue against your clit, making you slightly arch your back.

⪩⪨﹒His tongue swirled around your clit, sucking on it in a way that made your eyes almost roll back. He slid two fingers in at the same time, making it easier for him since you were so wet. Your pussy clenched around his fingers as he curled it right against your g-spot.

⪩⪨﹒The funny thing is, Sukuna is so good in bed, you never had to fake an orgasm with him, he would just pull it right out of you.

⟡﹒Choso

⪩⪨﹒Choso didn't know that much about modern times. He didn't even know what waxing meant, let alone Brazilian wax. You were getting ready for your appointment which was in the afternoon, you gave Choso a kiss and left.

⪩⪨﹒You finally came home after a few hours, Choso was waiting for you on the couch, watching a movie in his pajamas.

⪩⪨﹒You gave him a kiss, sat down next to him, and talked about your Brazilian wax appointment.

⪩⪨﹒You were shocked. You never knew that he would ask THAT question. That man really asked, "You went to Brazil?"

⪩⪨﹒ You sighed and explained what Brazilian wax is to him, though he was so confused and frustrated.

⪩⪨﹒At the end, he still has a lot to catch up on, so this would take a long time to explain.

✦﹒Naoya

⪩⪨﹒Naoya is the most possessive and insecure man you would ever be with. Who knows why you're even with him in the first place.

⪩⪨﹒You had come back from your Brazilian wax appointment, sneaking in the house in hopes Naoya doesn't notice. But, he just appeared right behind you.

⪩⪨﹒"Where have you been, woman?" He asks, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

⪩⪨﹒"U-uhm... I w-was at a wax appointment." You turned around to look at him, gulping from fear. His eyes widened and he pushed you against the wall, "Why are you going to appointments without me? A woman isn't supposed to go anywhere without a man present. Was the waxer a man or a woman?"

⪩⪨﹒You gulped, you were scared to tell him about the waxer being a man because you knew he would get mad and start throwing things at you.

⪩⪨﹒You didn't answer, he got annoyed by that fact and pinned you against the wall. "Answer me, you stupid of a woman!" he hissed at you. "A m-man... the waxer was a man." You looked away in fear, your heart was beating out of your chest. He chuckled, "Really? Is that so?". You were surprised for a bit that he didn't do anything. Until, he slapped the shit out of you, "Make me a damn sandwich now, woman."

[starhvney]

can you do an angsty laurance mcd (romantically) where reader has been waiting for his return and they reunite after he was stuck in the neither?

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: mcd laurance x fem!reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: he can’t stay with you as long as the war underground calls to him. to stay with you he has to leave, not returning until three years later. 

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: angst, lots of resent and crying, but then hurt/comfort, malachi is reader’s adopted son with laurance cause i said so

𝐂𝐖: none?

𝐀/𝐍: omg the past two weeks have been so busy i actually thought i might have gone insane if i didn’t have this day off to write this. but i'm back from the dead(work) anyways this prompt has actually been in my mind a lot so thank you for the request! hope it hurts

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

“please come back with me. you don’t have to do this.”

your chest hurt. whether it was from the man in front of you or the unbearable heat, you weren’t sure, but you found yourself choking on the air, lungs constricting and heart rushing cold blood uncomfortably fast through your veins. 

you could tell he was angry that you came here. not at you. no, never at you. but the fact you came alone and risked your safety for him again had him nearly spiraling, his jaw clenched and hands gripping uncomfortably tight against your arms.

it was still him, you reminded yourself, as you pleadingly looked up to the pools of blood red that pierced through you. it was an unsettling shade, the color startling against his face yet somehow dull and dark at the same time. it was so different from the steel blue before it, and the beautiful green before that. 

yes, you’d seen him in many different ways, and though he was naturally taller, and the air around him sent an anxious wave down your spine, it was still him.

the same olive skin and caramel hair, though a duller shade.

the same shape of his face.

the same determination in his eyes. 

the same urge to protect you, no matter how much this new form of his ached to do the opposite. 

“i told you not to follow me. you shouldn’t be here—”

“i couldn’t just let you leave!”

he sucks in a breath, your name leaving his lips with a sense of urgency and irritation.

“…i can’t go with you. you know i can’t.” his voice is tight, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of your eyes glossing over. “it would be selfish. i put you at risk just by being next to you.”

you start to shake your head, but swallow down your next words at the way he says your name again, desperate for you to understand. 

“he’s in my head when you’re near me. i can’t keep you safe when it’s just us, because it isn’t just us. that calling clouds my mind and—he almost got to me, and you know it. i almost killed you.”

you’re silenced by this, knowing he was right. the horror on his face when he realized his blade was raised against you had set forward the timeline that got him here. he’d forever feel chained to this place unless he broke the chains himself.

“if i ever want to have a future with you, i have to do this. don’t you understand? until this war is over you have to stay away.”

“no…” you shake your head, tears beginning to spill from your lashes.

it was out of your control. the salty crystalline that slipped down your face. it was the same as the man in front of you, each second left with him like trying to hold water in your hands, continuing to slip through your fingers no matter how tightly you tried to grasp it. 

his eyes close, face pained, looking like someone was about to end his second life right there where he stood. 

“i love you. i always will. you have to know i’m doing this for you.”

he dips down, lips crashing into yours with a desperation that you couldn’t put into words. it’s not enough, too short-lived as his hands suddenly grip your waist, manhandling you up as he carries you to the portal.

“no, no! laurance, put me down! you have to come with me!” tears have turned into hysteria, your fists pushing and beating against him to no avail.

“i’m doing this for you.” his voice wavers shakily, contradicting his firm hold and long strides. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m hurting you again and i’m so sorry.”

“stop! i won’t go through that portal unless i know you’re coming with me.”

your name leaves his lips once more, pleading and desperate for you to understand. “i’ll return to you. i swear i will.”

his arms tighten around you, face shifting to rest in the crook of your neck and lips pressing against the skin for just a moment. you think he could’ve changed his mind, but the next second your feet are back on the ground, and his hands are gently pushing you through the portal in your disorientation.

you stumble through, cool air meeting your back as the nether fades from your vision and is replaced by the overworld. your feet trip over the other as you try to catch your step, falling back and turning to look back at the portal through your hazy vision. before you can scramble back the purple mist solidifies, shattering and collapsing to the floor into crystallized pieces.

you started in shock for who knows how long, curled on the stone beneath you as sobs wracked your whole body.

you don’t remember the trip back to phoenix drop after that. you only recall the horrid feeling that your heart had just been torn from your body, left behind in the fiery hell it’s owner had condemned himself to. 

that emptiness never evaded you either. you went through day-to-day life completing your duties as normal. but at night when you were left with your thoughts, your mind wandered to him. the space in your bed felt bitterly cold, almost as if the emptiness was taunting you of the lack of his presence.

the boy the two of you had taken in as your own all that time ago was extra sweet on you, despite all the time you had missed with him. when you returned that night he had looked at you expectantly, only for his green eyes to fade in hope as he saw your puffy eyes and grieved expression.

soon a whole year had passed. then another. then another. it was what you had presumed to be another ordinary day, as you prepared a lunch for you and malachi to share on his break. you recognize his footsteps, but when you turn to greet him you’re met with a concerned expression and heavy pants from the boy.

“he’s back.”

you hate how you immediately knew what he meant, even after all this time. how your heart swelled tightly in your chest and rushed the adrenaline into your veins. 

you can only stare blankly at the boy in the doorway, mouth open in shock and mind scrambling for some sort of reaction to give. he turns to look at something approaching him from out of sight, a protective frown forming on his face.

“mom, do you want to see him? you have to tell me now.”

a small part of you wants to say no, to resentfully send that man away for the loneliness he left you with. your head is nodding before your thoughts can resist, following the desperate tug in your chest rather than your brain screaming for the opposite.

your breath hitches when the taller man who had been haunting your mind for so long steps into view. you wonder if maybe you had fallen ill and this is all just a fever dream, but you know it’s not a hallucination or a memory as you take in his appearance. 

he looks like a man returning from war, circles under his eyes darker than they had been all those years ago. new scars are littered across the skin that you could see, and his posture was that of extreme exhaustion.

him and your son stare at each other for a moment in the doorway, a silent and sort of awkward moment that you couldn’t decipher being exchanged. malachi gives you one last wary glance, before disappearing from your sight and leaving the two of you alone.

you want to scream at him, hit him, something. but you can only focus on the lump building in your throat, choking your airways as a painful sob threatens to break out from your chest.

he takes a step forward, then another. then another. soon he’s right in front of you, not in the haze of your dreams but tangible and real. 

his hand, rough and scarred, lifts up to cup your soft cheek, fingers trembling as if you had sent a shock through them just by the contact. your name shakily leaves his lips, and you finally look up to his face.

you’re greeted with steel blue, glazed over with pain and guilt. something about them is much more hardened than when you saw him last, yet he still manages to look at you tenderly, full of a deep devotion he could never get rid of even through his years spent in hell.

his thumb brushes away the damp streaks from under your eyes, and you finally realize you had begun to cry. you had thought about this moment many times. how you’d call him a bastard for leaving you alone and kick him out to get a taste of his own medicine. or maybe you’d tell him all about the loneliness he’d put you through, watching his face drop with guilt.

instead of using any of the dialogue you had prepared in your moments of spite, you can only utter a few words, voice choked on your tears. 

“is it over?”

he nods, eyebrows furrowing together and lip curling as if your voice had caused him physical pain after years of deprivation from the sound.

you collapse forward into his arms, years of raw emotion crashing down on you all at once as you begin to sob.

“it’s over. if you let me in i’ll never leave again.” his hushed voice speaks into your hair, the deep and roughened tone vibrating through his chest. “but if you want nothing to do with me anymore you only have to say the word and i will obey.”

you can only shake your head, chest heaving as you grip the linen shirt he wore and attempt to steady yourself on your feet. there’s not much need for your efforts though, when he picks you up into a tight embrace, holding you to him as he trembles at the feeling of your body once again pressing into his. 

“i’ll never leave you again. i’m so sorry. my light in the darkness. please forgive me.”

he carries you to the nearest chair, fingers running through your hair like they were delicate strands of gold and continuing to hold you to him like you were the only thing worth any value in this life. as you continued to cry you felt tears that were not your own drip onto your skin, the shaky breaths and hitches in his chest proving you weren’t just imagining things as he too wept into the crook of your neck.

you two stay there for a long time, until the afternoon sun faded to a dim evening light, casting a warm haze into the room. it’s not until then that you feel composed, lifting yourself from where you had limply collapsed into his arms.

his hands gently hold your face, rubbing away the leftover tears and puffiness from your eyes. his own eyelids were red, eyes glossy. now that you’re looking at him you can see just how much his time away had changed him. 

his once lovely olive skin had sallowed into a paler shade, leaving him sickly looking. his cheeks were thinner, and the lack of body fat wasn’t just on his face. he remained muscular, yet he somehow looked malnourished at the same time, his scarred skin stretching over his bones and muscles in a way that didn’t look healthy.

your fingers trail along healed over cuts that hadn’t been there before, gulping down the urge to cry again. how many times did he have to patch himself up, suffering in pain while fighting to get back to you?

“hey.” he gently pinches your cheek in his hand, noticing your eyes unfocus as your mind wanders. 

you look up to him, taking in a shaky breath as you reach up to cup his jaw in your hand. immediately he leans into it, a deep sigh leaving his nose as he practically deflates at your touch.

“when did you get back…?”

he sighs, looking up at you through his lashes.

“i came here as soon as i came back through the portal… malachi was on patrol and spotted me at the gates.” his eyes grow distant. “he was… pretty angry with me. looked like he wanted to kill me as soon as i walked in the village.”

he chuckles dryly, looking at the wall behind you. “he cussed me out pretty good before leading me here. he had some good reasons for doing so, too…" he takes in a shaky breath. "i’m proud of him. i’m relieved to know he was watching over you when i wasn’t. that kid’s grown up to be a good man.”

“he is.” you agree, voice quiet in the moment, unable to come up with any words.

his hand drifts to brush your hair behind your ear, fingers trailing to brush along your jaw. “you have plenty of reasons to hate me, too.”

“he doesn’t hate you.” you quickly say. “and i don’t either.”

“i was scared you would. sure you would.”

your eyes drift from the guilty pull of his brow and the pain in his eyes, down to the slope of his nose and the curve of his mouth.

“i couldn’t.” you whisper, before leaning down and connecting your lips with his.

he wraps his arms tighter around you, breath stuttering as he returns the affection. very quickly it evolves to you being left breathless as he practically devours you, kissing you like a man who had been starved of his lover's touch for three years.

reluctantly he pulls away, gritting his teeth as he once again finds himself reigning his self control in with you. he doesn’t go too far though, his huffs of air meeting your lips as he whispers.

“it’s late. i should go.”

“go where?”

“just the inn down the road—”

“no. stay here tonight.”

he stares at you before closing his eyes, a low groan leaving his throat. “are you sure?”

“yes.” you quickly respond, hands cupping his face.

he gulps, before pulling you tightly to himself and lifting you in his arms, carrying you to your bedroom.

“okay. i’ll stay.”

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

[oikasugayama]

write for chuuya x fem!reader where she receives oral?

UMMM YEP YEP YEP, I SURE CAN!!! MDNI!!!!!!

Chuuya eats you out for his own pleasure--he likes the taste of you, he says (and you don't believe him no matter how much he proves it). He likes how soft and wet you are on his tongue and in his mouth. He feels proud when he makes you cum from his tongue and two fingers alone.

He comes home from work tense and annoyed. He had to run stupid fetch quests for scraps of information today, and none of it was useful to him. He hated feeling like a runt on the PM ladder again, so it pissed him off to no end. There's only one thing he can think of to cheer him up.

"[Y/N]," he calls out, kicking off his shoes by the door. "I need my sweet girl. I had a shit day."

He hears your voice from off to the right, so he heads in that direction not bothering to take his coat off. He peeks in your bedroom but you aren't there. He hopes maybe you'll be naked in the shower all warm and wet for him but-- no, you're not there either. Finally he pushes open the door to your office, and there you are, sat at your desk, typing away on your computer.

"Doll," he says, gripping the back of your chair. "Did you hear me?"

"Not exactly," you admit, still typing. "I heard you call for me and say you need something."

"You," he says, turning your chair toward him, forcing you to stop typing and look up at him. "I had a miserable fuckin' day and I need my pretty girl," he says, kneeling in front of you. He wastes not a single second spreading your legs apart and kissing up your thigh. He does so slowly, giving you plenty of opportunity to stop him, but you don't exactly.

"Huh? What happened? Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it first?" You take his hat off, internally chiding him for not even doing that on his way in the house.

"No," he grumbles, reaching up to your hip with one hand to feel at your waistband. "Just let me have a taste."

"Well who I am I say no when you need it so bad?" you coo playfully, lifting your hips up to give him access to take your shorts and underwear off in one swipe. You scoot to the edge of the seat and spread your legs wide, hooking them over the armrests of your chair.

Chuuya uses his teeth to take one of his gloves off. With his naked hand he spreads your pussy open, and his other, still-gloved hand, helps stabilize one of your legs. He leans in, using his tongue to draw circles over your clit. You bite your lip and watch him, arousal instantly building as he stimulates you.

He swipes his tongue in a wide, flat line up your labia, wetting the whole area and teasing you slightly before going back to circling your clit. He sucks it into his mouth slightly, giving it a little tease, then leaves open-mouthed tongue kisses over it, making our with your pussy.

"Chuu," you moan softly, pushing a strand of hair out of his face. He looks up at you, blue eyes bright and shining under his furrowed brows. You gently push on the line between his eyebrows with your thumb, trying to settle the stern look on his face. He lets you, fluttering his eyes closed as he continuously licks circles, working you up until you're wet, and even wetter for him.

His mouth pauses but one of his un-gloved fingers swipes across your pussy, gathering some of his spit as it trails down to your opening. He circles it slowly, using his spit to slide across the rim until his fingertip starts to disappear inside and he feels some of your wetness.

"Yeah, that's my good girl," he sighs happily, pressing his finger into you slowly. He only goes about halfway in, pressing up to what would be the backside of your clit. He massages the spot gently, sliding his finger in and out slowly as he starts licking all around your opening, your labia, your clit, giving you little tickles of stimulation all over.

When he feels your leg quaking a little, he activates his ability just slightly so your legs are easier for you to hold up, (he's ever so thoughtful). When they keep trembling anyway, he smirks and noses against your thigh.

"You're already getting sensitive, huh?"

"Yeah," you whine. "It feels good, Chuu. You know you're good at this."

"It's my pleasure, baby, trust me."

He commits to your first orgasm of the evening then, pushing his finger further in as he starts up flicking his tongue over your clit again. His speed only increases from here, his finger going faster in you, searching for all your best spots, while his tongue tickles your sensitive nerve. Your breath picks up, your chest heaving as you try to control your breathing and focus on the feeling your partner gives you.

He adds a second finger, now twisting and curling them to find the best spot deep inside you. His tongue works relentlessly now, spinning in sopping wet circles, going wide around your clit and then narrowing in to be only precisely on top of it. He takes a brief pause, giving it a brief suck and spitting on it then returning to flicking his tongue over it as fast as he's able. His fingers are also rabbiting in and out of you, hitting your favorite spot and working a deep feeling into a tight coil in your gut.

"I'm close, Chuuya," you moan, carding one hand into his hair. "Make me cum. I wanna cum in your mouth," you whine.

He hums against you to acknowledge what he said, and he keeps building as much as he's able. His excellent strength and stamina allows him to keep working on you rapidly, never slowing down and losing any of the progress he worked to make on your impending orgasm.

You finally feel the tightening reach its peak, and you arch slightly, trying to push your hips up to meet his face even a millimetre more if possible, trying to get as close to the man creating your orgasm as possible.

You babble his name over and over, getting progressively louder and more slurred as your orgasm hits and washes over you, making your legs shake and your toes curl. You grab a fistful of his face, holding him in place as he works you through it, still keeping his pace with impressive skill. He lets you try to ride his face, taking what you want of what he gives you. Your climax happened so quickly after he started, your body going from no stimulation to so much in under 15 minutes. The quick change, the start of overstimulation has you gushing just a little bit of squirt onto Chuuya's fingers as you cum.

He lets you ride it out until you're satisfied, then he drastically slows down, withdraws his dripping fingers, and gives a final kiss or two to your clit.

"Delicious," he says, licking his lips and then his wrist and hand and fingers to clean up your juices. You whine, somewhat embarrassed still at him so brazenly excited about eating your cum and tasting your body. He just smirks up at you, not acknowledging it.

"You're not busy are you, pet? I could go for another round. You've got some squirt for me in there tonight."

"Only if you'll fuck me to sleep," you say, feigning an innocent voice and attitude, and Chuuya pounces up to grab you and effortlessly lift you over his shoulder.

"What kind of stupid fuckin' question is that?" he asks, carrying you out of your office and toward the bedroom. "Of course I will."

[murdrdocs]

just a little bit | e. landry

description. the heat of nightingale, the campers running around, the bus waiting for your departure, none of it matters when you're with your now-frenemy ethan landry

includes. SMUT 16+, afab!anatomy, frenemy ethan landry, slight bickering, heavy make outs, fingering, very slight public sex, chad meeks martin woo!

a/n: ello! no p in v this go around folks but i rlly like this entire setting so i'm down for whatever in the future. also barely proof read but thats okay

word count: 2.4k+ words

The crunch of leaves alerted you every so often, reminding you of not only the obviousness of your location, but also of what was going on around you. Laughter of kids, screams of enjoyment-filled terror, all of it repeatedly telling you that if you were going to do ... what you were going to do, you should probably do it in someone's cabin. Not outside of someone's cabin.

Ethan Landry, your ex-frenemy now just friend (?), continued to kiss at your neck, either unaware or uncaring of the lack of seclusion, his hands gripping at your waist, fingers bunching up the yellow fabric of your camp tee.

You know that you were the one nagging him earlier, begging him to let loose on the last night of camp and just have fun with you once. Your irritation sprung from Ethan’s new status as a Head Camp Counselor, leader of the Wombats, something he’s wanted since you both were young friends on the playground, both growing your final sets of teeth. You have been head of a cabin group for the second year in a row now, the Quokkas, and you’d attempted to tell Ethan that just because he was head of a cabin group didn’t mean he had to abandon all fun. 

He’d only started to believe you today, where his responsibilities mostly ended after encouraging his team during the start of the color war, when the mammals all teamed up against the amphibians. It wasn’t until you cornered him against the outside of his cabin, looked up at him with doe eyes, and pouted all prettily with sweet begs leaving your lips, that Ethan’s resolve physically melted away, and he finally started to give in to the relentless flirting you’ve subjected him to for the past few weeks. 

Which led you here, getting what you wanted, although now you’re starting to reconsider if this really is what you wanted. 

Ethan sucks a hickey at your collarbone, giving himself access with the way one of his thick fingers curls under the fabric of your shirt, and your moan is cut short when you hear what sounds like a twig snapping. 

Your hands instantly create fists at Ethan’s shoulders, your head turning towards the sound, and your eyes squinting in an attempt to see through the approaching darkness. “Wait, Ethan,” he pulls away from your neck, the silence of the forest alerting you of how wet his mouth is. “What was that?” 

In your peripheral, you see him turn his own head, brown curls bouncing with the movement. “I don’t hear anything.” 

He turns to face you and you do the same, your noses almost touching with the proximity. You instinctively push yourself further back, your head colliding with the wood of the cabin behind you, but the distance between you doesn’t feel right so you end up where you started. 

“Are you sure? I swear I heard someone coming.” 

Ethan smiled reassuringly. “There’s no one there. I swear.” 

You have no other choice but to believe him, but there’s still something nagging at you. “Are you sure you don’t wanna go inside? Or go to the bathroom?” 

He shakes his head, one of his hands rising to trace your lips since he isn’t kissing them right now. “Not the bathrooms, Mack and Will are cleaning them tonight, remember? If you wanna go inside, we can.” He swiftly places a kiss on the other side of your neck, coming to face you again. “But you wanted to do this here, remember?” 

He’s got you there. You were the one who suggested how useless it was to go inside whenever none of the campers would be coming to the counselors quadrant. 

You watch a grin come onto Ethan’s face, realizing that he’s purposefully playing on the fact that you’ve always refused to go back on your word, or even – in the absolute worst case – back down from an argument. It’s something that’s made you a great counselor, and something that’s made you a fun frenemy. 

“Fuck you,” you mumble, a smile unable to be forced from your lips. 

Ethan grins, leaning closer to you, his cheek brushing against yours as he brings his lips to your ear. “Oh, I hope you do.”

You decide to shut him up by sandwiching his face between your hands, pulling him to meet you halfway. You take a second to stare into his eyes, admiring the deep brown of them, loving the way he looks enamored with your existence. Then, you kiss him. 

It’s just a little bit softer this time, a little more tentative. There’s more emotion in this kiss, the feelings felt from your childhood crush resurfacing for a second to allow you a quiet, peaceful moment with the guy you’ve dreamed of kissing for years. 

Ethan is the one who changes it. His hand slides down to run over your ass, before it comes around to the front of your denim shorts. 

There’s anticipation in your system. 

You push your back more securely against the wood, praying you don't somehow get a splinter, and tilt your hips more towards Ethan. He takes it as a good sign to slide his hand down, long and thick fingers playing with the frayed ends of your shorts. 

You sigh, hands slinking around to the back of Ethan’s neck, fingers digging into his hair. When his hands just sit there, not doing anything, you grunt and warningly tug on the ends of his hair. He laughs against your lips, clearly loving having something over you. 

But then his fingers nudge up in the small gap of your shorts, and the tips of them tease against your cotton panties, and just that ghost of a touch has you lagging, lips pausing for a second before you pick up the action again. 

Your shorts are shorter than they should be, and earlier today you self consciously commented on it to Mindy, not wanting to wear something too revealing. After Mindy reminded you that you’ve been walking around Camp Nightingale in tiny bikinis, you shrugged and buttoned the pants, thinking in the back of your mind that the pants provided the easiest of access, and also made it easy for you to flash someone your white panties if your legs were spread far enough. 

Now, you’re grateful for the loose and revealing bottoms. They allow Ethan’s fingers to slide further up just enough for him to press against your cunt with more pressure, touch just a tad off from your clit. 

It’s welcomed either way and you pull away from Ethan to heave in a large breath of fresh air, the smell of campfire distant yet still greeting your nostrils. 

Ethan takes that as a good sign and he continues, pushing the pad of his finger in the center of your cunt, running the digit along the expanse to separate your lips and give him more access. In his journey, he feels how wet you are, a sound that sounds like a mix between a choke and a gasp with a bit of a sigh in there, released from his lips. 

“Jesus, fuck.” His pink tongue darts out to lick his lips and you have a thought, hopefully a premonition, about what his tongue would feel like between your legs, stuffed deep inside of you, straight nose nudging against your clit while he loses himself in the action. 

Your slight fantasy-slash-premonition makes you unaware of Ethan’s fingers probing at the edge of your panties, and you don’t come to until he has the elastic band separated from your skin, air greeting your slicked core, and his fingers soon doing the same. 

The sound you let out is completely unattractive in your eyes. Deep in the back of your throat, a hint of bass in it, but it’s mostly a squeal. One that sounds similar to the squeals of frustration you would let out at Ethan up until late last night when things took a turn in your relationship. 

Ethan, however, seems to take pride in the sound, and it spurs him on to continue. He takes his hand out of your shorts for a second, and you're already huffing frustratedly, mouth opening to say something a little offensive, but it instantly shuts whenever thick fingers are forced into the cavern, Ethan staring at you expectantly. You want to be a brat about it, maybe bite down just to piss him off, but the way he's looking at you makes your cheeks hollow out around the digits, and a sucking motion comes shortly after.

Ethan grins, like the asshole he is, and your eyes roll, but you don't stop. You continue as he uses his other hand to unbutton your shorts, undoing them quicker than you thought it would've taken, and then your zipper is down and Ethan takes his fingers out of your mouth. You watch as he uses the dry hand to pull the band of your panties back, and then the wet hand slips down, resting between your lips.

Your head thuds back against the wood, your eyes closing with a sigh as Ethan starts to really work you. His fingers slip down to your entrance, one singling itself out to probe at your entrance. It slips in easily, a little embarrassingly, but it feels so good so you're not ashamed of how ready you are for him.

The first finger is barely there before you're begging for the second to join, Ethan clearly also in a better mood than usual as he gives you what you want without any teasing from his end.

He steps closer into your space, free hand clutching your waist gently, his head burrowing in the crook of your neck where he presses a kiss into the skin. "That feel good?" he asks, voice low and gravely and so fucking hot. Your hips push into his hand, you nod, hand reaching behind his head to hold him in place.

"Yeah, E. Feels good."

Another kiss is pressed into your skin and your hold on the back of Ethan's head tightens, nails scratching into his scalp. Ethan takes the hint and his lips wrap around your skin. He sucks, and licks, and nips, and you tilt your head to give him more access.

It's risky, letting him mark you up, but its dark and you have makeup back at the cabin and you want something to remember this moment by.

His fingers reach deeper, if even possible, and you're sure that they would've reached the spot in you that only one other person has been able to. You're sure that Ethan, as receptive and observant as he is, would've noticed your reaction and he would've given you what you want, maybe after some healthy teasing, and then he would've given in, working you to an orgasm. Which, probably would have happened. If it weren’t for the distinct sound of footsteps from around the cabin. 

You flinch aggressively, a swear escaping from your lips as your legs instantly close around Ethan’s hand. It takes him a second to pull his hand from between your thighs, and for you to at least get your pants buttoned, and a second is all you have before Chad is walking around the cabin to face you both, a look of shock and entertainment on his features.

His dark eyes look between you two, Ethan wide eyed, clearly having just been caught doing something, and you behind him, with your arms crossed, eyes narrowed as you attempt to pretend like nothing was just happening between you two. 

None of you say anything, then Chad licks his lips, takes a breath, and his eyes widen just a bit. “Oh,” he says, dragging out the exclamation. You think that you’re caught, and that Chad will never let you live this down. But when you take a closer look at Chad, you see this he looks a little more relaxed than usual, and there’s a slight sway to his stance. 

“I see what’s going on here.” And you do, too. 

“Do you?” you challenge, eyebrows raised. 

“Yep,” Chad pops the ‘p’, clearly proud of himself for coming to whatever conclusion he’s reached. “You two are still on the outs, huh?” A weight instantly lifts from your shoulders. Chad already isn’t the most perceptive (he never knows when people have crushes on him, for example), but add slight intoxication, and he wouldn’t know anything if it knocked on the door and introduced itself. 

Chad nods, hands resting on his hips as his lips purse for a second. “Yeah, mhm. That’s what it is. You’re over here bickering and arguing and fighting off that sexual tension but hey! I say give in to it, you know. You’re only young and horny once!” And that’s all Chad has to say because he’s waving dismissively to you both with one hand, going up the steps and reaching for the handle, and he’s stepping into the cabin, the wood slamming against the doorframe acting as a goodbye. 

You turn to face Ethan, still a little flustered yourself, and he’s still a little flushed. His hands twitch at his sides, and you mindlessly bite down onto your lower lip. 

“So, do you wanna continue?” he asks, words low, and he’s back to being awkward. 

A small smile on your face, your foot steps behind the other, your thumb hooks over your shoulder. “I should probably check on my kids …” You trail off, Ethan doesn’t say anything, so you turn around and take a step in the other direction. 

You don’t make it far before Ethan has a hand wrapped around your wrist, tugging you back, and the other finds your waist to keep you steady against him. He kisses you, and you melt into it, chest pushing against his, hands fisting in the bottom of his shirt. You’re willing to stay like this a little longer, but the footsteps get louder from inside, and it acts as an alarm, warning you of Chad’s incoming arrival, which comes just as you two pull away with enough room between you both to be deemed slightly platonic. 

Chad doesn’t acknowledge you both again, whistling to himself as he walks away, and you and Ethan stay silent until he’s far away enough for either of you to speak. 

“Still wanna check on your kids?” Ethan asks, eyebrows raised knowingly. 

You take a second to think about it, eyes scanning over Ethan’s brown curls, his pretty eyes, his pink tinged cheeks and his even pinker lips, the way they’re swollen with enough evidence that you were there. And you have your decision when your eyes reach his shoulders, strong even under his shirt, a piece of his body you’ve seen during lake days but you were never really allowed to ogle due to wanting to seem professional. 

“I’m sure the others have them handled.”

[scekrex]

An idea? Did somebody just say they have an idea? Oh wait, that would be me! Hi, hello, love, me again, the little pretty devil on your shoulder that encourages you to sin, or rather, create ✨

Just Adam, reader and Lute playing UNO. You probably knew this was coming. It's basically them just playing it like that one video on Smii7y's channel where everybody basically just yells at each other. Honestly it would be so funny to read about them playing, the reader placing a card for Lute, a nice +4 (Fucking hate that bitch, the sole reason for my misery during that game), what he didn't think of was the possibility of Lute having another +4. She put it down on top of the reader's (They play by the rule where the +4 or +2 stack) and Adam just goes "I can't believe you've done this!" (Like the meme with the British dude in sunglasses getting punched in the face), reader laughing and mocking him with "Oh, I cAn'T bElIeVe YoU'vE dOnE tHiS!" with a British accent, but then Adam finds another +4 in his cards, places it down and looks at reader with a satisfactory smirk. When readers sees it he just goes "Fuck, I actually can't believe you've done this. You fuck" with an accusatory tone, realising he has to pick up 12 cards and just flips his cards like Steve Harvey sometimes does at stupid answer during Family Feud saying "Man, fuck this, I ain't playing with you no more! You best believe I'll get my revenge. No damn sex for you" while walking away, obviously directing it for Adam, but Lute just going "DISGUSTANG" and Adam just going "He was not speaking to you, bitch. Mind ya business. This one is mine, there's my life on the line😭". I just see the possibility of them playing UNO while bored in Heaven would be the funniest shit ever 😂 UNO destroys relationships, kids... AND emotionally damages you 😭

Nah bc they'd roast the living shit outta each other. Just imagine how they'd react when playing Mario Kart, they'd tear open each other's throats.

Tired Games

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, crack fic comin' through whoop whoop

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

All you had wanted was a chill evening with your husband and Lute, to relax and enjoy the day off. So you three sat on the floor of your and Adam's apartment, in front of you there was a stack of UNO cards. You had been playing for a couple hours by now and slowly all of you were losing your patience. UNO was one of the games that always ended in fights, either because Lute was convinced the ‘you can stack a +4 on a +4’ rule was entirely made up - she had once shown you a tweet from the company that said doing so was against the rules - or it was like today.

“Hurry up babes,” Adam poked you in the side which caused you to flinch away from his touch and bat his hand away, “Stop that you touch starved bitch.” You slapped a +4 onto the stack, offering Lute the most wicked grin you had in store, “Sucks to be you, bitch.” Lute however was having none of it, she returned the grin, equally wicked and pulled another +4 out of her deck.

The look the first man gave you was priceless, he looked truly betrayed while a bit of annoyance gleamed in his golden eyes, “I can't believe you've fucking done this.” You chuckled to yourself as you poked him back, a small giggle escaped you as he flinched away just like you had. “Oh, I can't believe you've fucking done this, go cry about it bitch,” you mocked him as you laid down. You were starting to get tired but you also wanted to finish the game. The problem was when you grew tired you also grew short tempered and so you knew it was only a matter of time until things would escalate. Still you continued as you put your head in Adam's lap. The brunette looked down on you and offered you a small smile, then his hand was in your hair and for a tiny moment your eyes fell shut as you embraced the warm touch your husband gave you.

The first man stayed silent for a long time as he went through his cards, clearly thinking hard about whether to play the card he had or not. “Hurry up, old man,” Lute grumbled and kicked his shin, that made Adam yelp in pain and scoot backwards a little - he made sure to move drag your body with him so that you could continue to use him as a pillow - to get away from the executor, “Geez, the fuck is wrong with you?” he complained as he played yet another +4 card. The smirk on his face was sweet, so sweet that you genuinely wanted to tear it off and throw it in the trash. You looked at the stack of cards, then up at Adam and back down at the cards. That meant you had to draw 12 godforsaken cards. Fucking 12.

“Fuck that,” you flipped your cards over in anger and pushed yourself up - away from Adam - so that you sat on the floor before you fully got up, “Fuck you,” you flipped Adam off before turning to Lute, “And fuck you too.” With crossed arms and in a shitty mood you walked over to the couch and wrapped your wings around your body in order to hide from the people sitting on the floor. “I ain't playing with you with you no more,” you grumbled quietly, then raised your voice a little so that Adam could hear your threat, “No fucking sex for you.”

Lute's face twisted in disgust and she wrinkled her nose at your words, “Disgusting.” Adam raised an eyebrow and side eyed her, not sure if she truly thought you had addressed to words to her or if she was playing, “Bitch, he was talking to me, this is my punishment, my fucking life's on the line here,” the first human soul in heaven whined and got up from the floor as well. “Don’t forget so is your dick,” Lute reminded the brunette who just groaned at that as he walked over to you. He carefully nudged the tips of your wings apart and really couldn't help the smile when he saw your pointing face. “Aw, c’mon babes, it's just a stupid fucking game,” he hummed as he kneeled down to be on eye level with you, his hands were resting on your knees which were pressed against your chest. “Fuck off, I said what I said,” you mumbled as you were avoiding eye contact. You knew too well that he could plead so prettily with them golden eyes of his, looking straight into them meant risking taking your words back and letting him win. He put a finger underneath your chin and tilted your head slightly, he basically forced you to look at him. All it took was one glance and you were done for, you simply knew you lost.

Your eyes must've given that away because Adam leaned in to give you a short yet soft kiss, “That’s a good boy.” You turned your face away, grumbling something about how he should watch his mouth. “You two done with your shit? Can we continue?” Lute interrupted and while you loved her like a sister, you would've loved to grab her by the wings and throw her out the window. You might save that for later though. You pushed yourself away from the soft fabric of the couch and right into Adam's arms, “Actually,” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his neck so that he could carry you, “I think I’m going to bed.” Tiredness had won you over once again but Lute understood, of course she did. “Feel free to crash on the couch, danger tits,” Adam offered the exorcist but she shook her head, “I’d rather not want to wake up to the sound of you two fucking again, thanks. One time was more than enough.” Adam shrugged, he thought that was fair. And while the two of them had that little conversation, you had already fallen asleep in Adam's arms.

[ilexdiapason]

(part one here) (part four here)

Oli doesn't try to broach the subject again until the pizza is delivered and the ice cube is a soaked-up puddle in a napkin on the coffee table.

When he does, though, it's with his hands in his lap and his best efforts to not sound like a scolding teacher. "You wanna tell me what that was about?"

Martyn, in lieu of answering, pulls open the pizza box and wiggles a slice free from the still-stringing cheese. His fingertips bounce it between them, ginger; he bites down and clearly regrets it. Still, he chews, mouth caught in a conflict between ventilating the heat and keeping his secrets sealed tight shut behind it.

"Come on," Oli continues, gentle as he can push it. "I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is."

Martyn swallows. He looks like he's deliberating.

He must decide, whatever the stakes of this crisis are, that Oli's worth it, because he does reply.

"You know," he says, quiet, "I wasn't kidding when I said you should keep your computer away from me."

"Do you want me to take it upstairs?"

"I mean - bit late now. But yeah, that'd probably help."

So he probably has the conviction that something, somebody, is listening in through the machine. That's understandable; if whatever his situation was involved him being able to join some random strangers' games, he probably had a computer, and it was probably monitored, which would explain why he's so terrified of being tracked. It makes about as much sense as anything else in this exchange does. 

Even if it didn't, though, Oli still would have taken his laptop back upstairs, tapped out a quick notice that he'd be unavailable for the rest of the day, and tossed it on his bed - and his phone beside it, after a moment's thought. Martyn's comfort is what really matters here.

"There we are," he says on his way back in, "the highest-tech thing in the room now is probably the microwave."

Martyn offers him a thin smile, which feels more like progress than anything else.

"Right." He sits back down, takes his own piece of pizza (which by now is a far more edible temperature than it must have been when Martyn tried it), and gets the whole thing down before he takes another shot. "You want to start, or shall I?"

Martyn exhales amusement. "Go on then. Tell me what you know."

"Not a lot," Oli admits, "apparently. You don't make a lot of sense. You fell out of the sky, you still seem fairly surprised that things are real, you didn't know we’d been playing Minecraft - and you were calling me CHEST agent, which isn't a job title my company offers, as far as I'm aware. What, were you born in a video game?"

"I told you I was born in Nottingham."

"That might have been a cover story!"

"Nah. Wouldn't lie about that. I am a real boy, Gepetto, you can believe me on that one."

"Well, there's one thing I know for sure about you," Oli says. "All this talk of being in there, though. I don't know. VR?"

"Something like. You -" he hushes his voice, even though it's the middle of the afternoon and the neighbours won't be home "- you're, like, a normal CHEST employee, then? Front end stuff?"

"Yeah. I told you, I'm a software dev. If it's a front, I'm not in on the secret."

"God," says Martyn, "okay, so you're still not safe, but… okay, telling you this now, you're not getting the whole truth. But your company sucks and you should quit your job."

"Sucks like questionable QA policies or sucks like torturing teenagers in the basement?"

"I - shit," says Martyn, "a lot of those agents might have been folks like me, huh. Damn. Least I never killed anyone."

"I seem to remember you being pretty handy with a knife."

"Yeah, 'cause none of that was real, I was a bloody rat in a maid dress. You can't be on at me for killing people there."

"Suppose Jimmy killed the gardener."

"Exactly!"

"So, what, CHESTCorp have figured out how to turn VR into R, and you got caught up in it?"

"Not CHEST," Martyn takes another go at his slice of pizza, "just Doc. It's real experimental stuff. You're lookin' at test subject number one, I'm pretty sure."

"And now that you're not a test subject any more," he finishes, "you're having trouble readjusting."

"I guess. It's just… y'know, like, it's nice to be back, but… weird. Incredibly weird."

"Two and a half years would do it," Oli nods.

They take another lull to properly eat. Oli hadn't realised before this how starving he is; he would have thrown something together from the groceries he'd picked up if he hadn't had a guest to entertain. Martyn, too, seems fairly intent on ingesting an entire pizza by himself. His mother’s voice sounds inside his head, urging him to slow down, but Oli ignores it. If Martyn ends up with stomach problems it’ll just be another stark reminder that he’s not… trapped in a virtual reality simulator, he supposes.

“So, er,” he picks back up, once they’ve cleared the wedges and made more than a dent in the pizza, “what now?”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve gone through all that. Nobody’s going to believe you, I assume, if this stuff’s as top-secret as it seems to be.”

“Kinda thing you’d need a two-hour primer with your therapist for,” Martyn nods, “and a lot of faith in doctor-patient confidentiality.”

“But, what, do you just… go home?”

“I’d like to,” he says. “I would really, really just like things to go back to normal.”

There’s a silence. But they can’t rings clear as a bell in the air between them anyway.

Martyn looks down at the last three slices of pizza. “You should take me home.”

“You’re sure?”

He swallows. “Yeah. I’ll just… I’ll be a big surprise for my parents when they get back home from work. And then I’ll add you guys on Discord, and hopefully we’ll be able to talk more on there?”

“Hopefully,” says Oli, meaning it more than anything. His entire life’s been pretty much flipped on its head by this encounter. “We’re always wondering about you, y’know. Or, I mean, I am. Owen probably thinks you’re there from Apo, Apo probably thinks you’re there from Owen, all that, but… Hard not to wonder who the hell you really were, when you would never act like it was actually a game.”

“I mean, it’s all a game, isn’t it, really?” Martyn muses, half-distant. “Just in the long dream now.”

“Is that from the End Poem?”

“Is it?”

Oli shakes his head. No time for all that. “So I’m driving you back to Nottingham, and… you’ll DM me when you can?”

“Yeah.”

It’s the best he can ask for.

Martyn refuses to tell Oli his exact address, just asks him to drive close enough that Martyn can walk the rest of the way home. It’s understandable - a CHESTCorp employee knowing Martyn’s exact location is, apparently, an incredibly dangerous thing - but still a little concerning. He’d at least like to be sure that Martyn won’t be getting poached back by this Doc guy at the earliest notice. Still, Martyn’s comfort remains the most important thing, and so he leaves his Google Maps at home.

It’s a bit of an autopilot drive, even without directions. Oli feels the wheel under his fingers, the pedals under his feet, like they’re abstracts. He looks over once or twice and sees Martyn glued to the window, to the mirrors, hypervigilant; he hopes that Martyn feels a little more real now than he did before.

They’re idle at a semi-populated roundabout when Martyn straightens his back. “Second exit, then pull over,” he announces.

“Almost there?”

“Pretty close.”

Oli obliges.

Martyn, with just the barest tremor in his fingers, pops the car door and steps out.

“You’re sure you’re gonna be okay?”

The words leave Oli’s mouth in a rush, the emotion behind them probably more visceral than Martyn is expecting, if the way he startles at them is any indication.

“Because - ‘cause if you need a hotel, or cash, or -”

“No,” says Martyn, “no, I’m fine. Promise.”

He hesitates, hand on the open car door, a few more seconds.

“And thanks,” he finishes, “I don’t - I’m not - I don’t know. Appreciate it.”

Oli understands what he’s getting at. “Stay safe, okay?”

“Nah, I’m gonna throw myself right in the Trent when you’re gone,” Martyn smiles, and Oli dutifully ignores the crack in his voice. Blame it on the last vestiges of teenagehood.

“And if you do end up needing to - I suppose erase all traces of your old life online… then it’s been an honour.”

“Yeah.”

“... Good luck.”

“Talk to you later,” Martyn says, and slams the car door closed.

All Oli can do, once he’s ambled out of eyeshot, is mechanically drive back home.

So that was InTheLittleWood. Friend group cryptid, unethical experiment, man with more trauma than Oli could ever begin to help him deal with… but man he was able to feed, and house, and walk through an emotional response, which is better than nothing at all. The one person in the world who Oli could almost hit with his car and have that be a better situation than the one he’d just escaped from. Still a mystery, too; he’s left Oli with far more questions than answers, left him returning to an empty house and wishing he’d been selfish enough to make Martyn stay a little longer, talk a little more.

Oli picks up his phone where he’d tossed it in the bedroom.

He has one new email to his work address.

Human Resources 3:04 PM

to me ˅

Subject: Performance Review

Dear Oliver,

You have been scheduled for a performance review. You are required to report to our Shoreditch location by 09:00 tomorrow, Tuesday December 12th. Failure to comply with this request will result in disciplinary proceedings, which may lead to your subsequent termination.

Regards,

Dan

Human Resources

CHESTCorp UK

Ah.

That’s… well.

The word termination is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that threat.

… Okay, so they’re working to a deadline now. That’s fine. He can deal with that. Martyn’s been dealing with far worse, right?

The friend request, at least, flips through from pending to accepted.

TheOrionSound — Today at 16:14

[Attachment: Screenshot_20231025_161408.png]

InTheLittleWood — Today at 16:14

Shit.

(end! now on ao3, if you’d like to leave a comment slash kudos slash bookmark!)

[lieslab]

Enamored Remedy

Summary: Han turns himself into a magician to cheer you up while you struggle with the common cold.

Pairing: Han X gn reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.8K

_ _ _

You took breathing through your nose for granted. The common cold caught you when you least expected it. Two days ago, you woke up with a stuffy nose, a pounding headache, and intense sinus pressure. No matter what you did, nothing seemed to work. 

Honey glazed cough drops quieted your cough for a few hours until it came back stronger than ever. The cold medicine you continued to take only provided comfort by causing you to get sleepy and drift off to sleep. The saline nose spray, the one you purchased out of pure desperation, cleared up your sinuses for twenty minutes, before they became plugged again. 

You were miserable and Han knew it. You pressed through the annoyance of it all and continued to go to work. You didn’t have a choice. You only received a handful of sick days throughout the year and you already used a few. Unless you wanted to use the rest, or get fired, you were forced to suck it up. 

On the third day, you came home and threw yourself on the couch. Pockets filled with snotty tissues and a red nose from where you kept blowing it, you were exhausted. Working while in this state was starting to take a heavy toll on you. 

You weren’t sleeping properly due to coughing so much. Your throat was sore and it hurt to swallow. You kept trying to sip tea with honey because that’s what Google recommended, but you hated tea. No matter what kind it was, you dislike the taste. 

At your wits end, you just wanted to fall asleep and reawaken when your body decided to come to its senses and work properly. Unfortunately, you couldn’t because that’s not how life worked. You were miserable and a snotty mess. Not to mention, you kept Han Jisung at an arm’s length away at all times. 

You dodged his puckered kisses and wiggled free from his hugs. He was working on a new batch of songs and the last thing you wanted to do was share your cold with him. He hated when you were sick because you were as stubborn as a mule. 

He could pout and whine and beg, but you’d never budge. You’d avoid physical touch like the plague until you were better. You let him make you tea and you’d let him pour your medicine, but that was it. No comforting hugs, no soft kisses, none of that. 

A round of mucus-filled coughs left your throat and you groaned while flopping over onto the side of the couch. At this point, you were starting to pray for a miracle. Something to take your mind off the sickly ache that clung onto you. Something to ease the throb of the headache behind your eyes. You shut your eyes and let out a sigh. 

Five minutes later, your miracle showed up in the form of your boyfriend. Han Jisung flung through your front door with a pep in his step. He glanced around the corner of the living room. His eyes glittered with excitement once he spotted you on the couch. 

“Baby?” He called out wondering if you were awake. 

“Hmm?” You responded without opening your eyes. 

This was far better than he expected. He slipped around the corner and made his way into the middle of the living room. “I have a surprise for you! Open your eyes!” 

You opened your eyes and blinked in shock. Han stood in an eggshell white button-down shirt with a black suit coat over it. Black dress pants adorned his legs and a bright ruby-red bow-tie was secured around his neck. 

A matching pair of white gloves covered his hands. A comically large top hat perched on the top of his head with a thin line of red lining the bottom. A shiny red cape fluttered behind him and followed his movements. To complete the look, there was a black wand in his hand with a white tip. 

“What the fu-” 

“Welcome, welcome to Han Jisung’s one man traveling magic show!” He waved the wand. A toothy grin sat on his face as his chipmunk cheeks puffed up from smiling. 

You couldn’t help, but laugh at how excited he looked. “The one man traveling magic show?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“And you just decided to stop in my apartment today?” 

“I had a special request put in by someone.” 

“Your secret admirer.” 

“And who might that be?” 

You chuckled and sat up on the couch. “So what kind of tricks can you do?” 

“All sorts of them. Watch this!” Han took a few steps back. He placed his wand on the fireplace mantle behind him and held up a thumb. “I can make my thumb disappear.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Take a good hard look at it and watch it carefully.” He moved his thumb around and wiggled it. He even tugged on it to prove it was real. He held it up, cupped his other hand over the front, and looked at you with wide eyes. “Are you ready to make it disappear?” 

You nodded while watching with amusement. 

“Go ahead and say the magic words.” 

“Abracadabra.” 

His face fell as he looked back at you. “Is that all the enthusiasm you’re going to give to me? I came all the way here from the JYP Building.” 

“Abracadabra,” you tried again a little louder.

Han’s eyes narrowed.

“Abracadabra!” Your voice raised. You coughed into your elbow, but kept your eyes on Han. 

He suddenly pulled back his cupped hand to reveal his thumb gone. “Ta-dah!” He grinned again. “Look at that, it’s gone. Where did it go?” 

“Is it hidden behind your cupped hand?” 

“Pft, no.” 

“Prove it.” 

Han quickly placed his other hand back over the other and pulled it away to reveal his thumb again. “Would you look at that! I brought it back! Now onto my next trick.” 

A smile began to tug at the corners of your lips. Han pulled out a coin from his pocket. “I can make this coin disappear and reappear from behind your ear.” 

“Wow.” 

“Uh-huh. Watch this.” With a snap on one hand, he caused the coin to disappear in the other. “Isn’t that crazy, baby?” 

You suppressed a laugh. “Where did it go?” 

He bent down and dug in his pockets. “Well, it’s certainly not there.” His eyes scanned the floor as he looked around. “Do you feel anything near your ear, sweetheart?” 

“I don’t think I do.” 

Han walked closer, his dark eyes looked into yours. He bent down, so your faces were only a few inches apart. He reached out towards your ear, placed his hand behind it, and pulled it back. Your eyes never left his. 

“Would you look at that?” He moved back and pulled his hand with it. When he opened his hand, the missing coin laid in the bottom of his empty palm. “It really was behind your ear.” 

“Are you sure it wasn’t just sleight of hand?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

You shook your head and continued to watch him. Your mind had been pulled away from your stuffy nose and sore throat. Your focus was completely on Han now. 

“And for my next trick,” Han said. He slipped the coin into his bottom pocket. He reached into the front pocket of his suit coat and tugged out a piece of orange fabric. He pulled on it until a yellow one appeared tied onto the end of it. 

He let out a sigh, “where is it?” He continued pulling on the handkerchiefs. You bit down on your lip to stop yourself from laughing. He continued to pull on the yellow fabric and a red one came out. 

“Did I seriously lose it?” He frowned and continued tugging at the fabric. One-by-one, different colored fabrics came out of the pocket. He pulled and pulled and pulled but the string of tied fabrics never seemed to end. 

You shoved a hand over your mouth. The pile had begun to create a small mound on the floor. The frustration plastered onto Han’s face was priceless. He tugged and tugged and tugged until he reached the end. A green handkerchief sat in his hand and he dropped it to the ground. The pile covered the tops of his black dress shoes. 

“Well that didn’t work, moving on. Let me try another one.” He reached into his pocket and a loud horn sounded. 

It caught both of you off guard. Your eyes widened and Han nearly jumped ten feet in the air. He jerked a small metal horn out of his pocket. A black rubber covering sat on the back of it. He grimaced and dropped it onto the floor where it landed on the rubber section and let out another small toot. 

You couldn’t take it anymore, you erupted into a fit of giggles. Common cold be damned, you couldn’t help it. Your body shook with laughter. Han stared at you for a moment with his lips pressed together. He tried to keep his own laughter inside, but when the two of you made eye contact, he burst. 

Falling to his knees, he leaned forward with laughter. The top hat fell off his head and rolled over the handkerchiefs. You clutched your stomach trying to properly breathe. After a few moments, tears pricked in the corners of your eyes. 

“I-I thought,” you sucked in a deep breath, “horns were for clowns.” 

“The party store only had so many objects and I was trying my best!”

You fell into another fit of laughter. Every time you remembered the look on Han’s face, it sent you spiraling. The wide eyes, raised eyebrows, and jaw dropped in shock, it was the funniest thing you had seen in a while. 

Han finally pulled himself up and dragged himself across the floor to you. He threw himself over your lap and began to silently laugh again. You ran a hand through his hair. “You’re such a goofball.” 

“I’m sorry, I really wanted to cheer you up, but I-” Laughter bubbled up inside him again. 

It took a while for the two of you to finally gain your bearings back. You wiped tears out of your eyes. “That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I love you so much. Did you mean for it to play out like this?” 

“No! I was trying to make you laugh, but I had different tricks picked out.” Han picked himself up off your lap to look at you. “I love you too, but I do have one more trick for you.” 

“You think you can do it?” 

“I can’t mess this one up.” He flicked his wrist and within seconds, a fake bouquet of flowers appeared in his hand. He pushed the fabric flowers towards you.

“Woah,” you glanced down in shock. This trick caught you off guard completely. “How did you do this one?” 

He grinned, “a magician never reveals his secrets, baby.”

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Taglist: @fairytaleskiess

Requests are open.

[bardicbeetle]

Damask, 2005 - vee the vampire

Angelface had walked away to the back room for something—she’s been assuming it’s a storage room of some kind, hasn’t been back there yet as so far she hasn’t needed anything. And thus far being left alone at a well stocked bar before there are even any patrons has been plenty entertaining. Mainly because she doesn’t get to touch anything otherwise, mostly she washes dishes in the bar sink and listens to Angelface chat up patrons all night. It’s not glamorous, but it’s also not being cold on the fucking street.

Notes from this latest foray into digging through the back bottles: Whatever that green label one is tastes fucking awful, like melted licorice. Disgusting. Conversely, there is something down there that reminds her of toasted marshmallows and that’s making up for the awful one.

The next thing she picks up is in such a dark bottle she can’t even see what’s in it. Which isn’t fully abnormal, some of the bottles are frosted or opaque. Rather than dirtying cups she’s taken to putting the little shot spouts on and then giving them a quick rinse afterwards. It’s saved both time and suspicious dishes.

This time is no different, after double checking that she is still—in fact—alone, she tips the bottle up holding the spout a few inches from her open mouth—she had missed the first couple times but the spout is surprisingly consistent no matter what’s in the bottles, and she learned fast—and gags.

It’s thick like some of the creme bases are but—fuck—it’s salty and metallic and the bottle slips out of her hands with the shock of it and shatters on the tile behind the bar.

Sending bright red spraying across the floor and the bottom shelf glasses.

She doesn’t really process it, busy heaving over the sink.

It’s not until she hears the door open and shut at the far end of the room that she looks back at the floor in panic.

So whatever it was sucked, but it was probably expensive and—

—no.

No that was blood.

Something about seeing the way it’s spreading on the floor. The color it turns as it soaks the bottom of her jeans. The taste. When she wipes a hand across her mouth it paints her skin the same way a nosebleed would, and she’s stuck staring at it, feeling very suddenly like she is going to be properly actually sick—what the fuck.

“Cassidy?”

Her gaze snaps back up to Angelface, who has made it all the way to the little half-door blocking the back of the bar before she even noticed he was there. “I—I didn’t—”

“—are you hurt?”

Relief.

He looks more—amused? Than anything else. But there is genuine concern in his tone. She thinks.

“Was that—that was blood—what the fuck is that doing under—”

“—Cassidy.” That word is sharper. She’s still getting used to connecting it to herself. “Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Good. Hop up on the bar, I’ll take care of the glass.”

“Answer my question first.”

“Blood is a medical hazard, Cassidy. Get on the bar.”

She plants her feet, the tile slick under her boots, arms crossed. “No. Answer my fucking question.”

Angelface sighs, stepping carefully around shards of glass until he’s close enough to—is she really that small or is he stronger than he looks?—pick her up and set her none too gently onto the bartop. It happens so quickly that she doesn’t really have time to react until it’s already done. “Ridiculous. It’s like you don’t have a goddamn survival instinct at all.”

The reaction he’s having feels so out of place that she’s struggling to find any sort of response. She just watches him start picking up the larger chunks of glass from the floor, listens to the little plopping sounds as blood continues to drip from the bottom shelf.

In the end it takes until he’s fully cleaned the floor and filled the sink with blood spattered glassware for her to speak again.

“Am I fired?”

He gives her a look. It’s the face he makes every time she asks a stupid question.

She’s pretty sure that isn’t a stupid question though, so she repeats herself.

“Am I?”

“No,” He tells her, “you will not be left alone back here again though.”

It startles a laugh out of her.

“So…” She’s still sitting on the bar, the blood on her jeans has dried dark and stiff. “I’m still waiting on an explanation.”

“You’ll be waiting forever, Cassidy.”

“Is it like—sketchy?” She asks, “Like—is there some sort of black market thing going on—are there organs down there too? Is that what you keep in the back room?”

“It is not like—sketchy,” Angelface repeats, faintly mocking and ignoring the latter half of her question. “and it isn’t your concern.”

“I drank blood,” She insists, “that’s concerning.”

“You didn’t drink blood—you spit it in the sink.”

“I swallowed some of it.”

“And?”

“Didn’t you say it was a medical hazard?”

“Would you like me to take you to the hospital?”

She glares at him, and for a moment both are silent. She’s putting it together though. Between his reactions and the rest. Or maybe she’s crazy. That’s also possible.

“We’re only here after dark.” She says finally.

“It’s a night club, Cassidy. We’re only open at night.”

“There’s blood under the bar.”

“There is. You spilt it.”

“It was there before I did that.”

“Is this little train of thought supposed to be impressive?”

“I don’t think you should be able to pick me up that easily.”

He does look mildly offended by that one. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve read books.” She’s treading dangerous waters now. She knows it.

“I should hope so.” He replies, and maybe she’s imagining the slight quirk to his expression, the sour little smile. “Are you going to start making sense any time in the next few sentences?”

“Promise you’ll answer one question?” She asks, voice suddenly very quiet. “Honestly.”

Angelface gives her an appraising sort of look, like he’s weighing a risk. “One question, Cassidy.”

“Are you going to kill me?”

He smiles.

It’s sharper than it should be.

It’s almost like he’s suddenly got too many teeth.

“I certainly hope not.”

[alexagirlie]

Whispers from the Void

A/N: please ignore the crappy art and just get the *vibe*. I am not good at scenery stuff but wanted to use my drawing vs finding something. Another old Dune fic for cross posting. Inspired by Old God of Appalachia podcast.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Pairing: None technically but past Paul/Duncan

Rated: T

Word count: 914

TW: Dark. Spirits. Voices. The dead speak. Ambiguous Ending.

Summary: It's only as he is rubbing the dusty powder between his fingers that Paul realizes that the whispering voices have stopped and in the absolute silence a feeling of dread builds up in Paul's chest. He remembers leaving his Yali, he remembers walking the corridors but does not remember making the decision to move his feet. To listen to what the voices were saying.

Taglist: @succnfuccubus @almostg @gatoenlaciudad @softhecreator

Paul tells no one, not his mother, not Stilgar, not even Chani who had become a close friend in the weeks since arriving at Sietch Tabr. It started with voices, whispers in the dark calling to Paul, begging him to come. They lead him down a winding dark corridor, somewhere he had never seen until he comes to what at first he thinks is a dead end in the dark. Only its not a dead end, its a hole, a hole in the wall that seems to suck all the light in.

As Paul's eyes adjust to the dark he sees the wall surrounding the hole is covered in strange sprawling symbols. Reaching out with a trembling hand he touches one of those symbols, fingers gliding down the drawn point and coming away smeared with white. Its chalk.

It's only as he is rubbing the dusty powder between his fingers that Paul realizes that the whispering voices have stopped and in the absolute silence a feeling of dread builds up in Paul's chest. He remembers leaving his Yali, he remembers walking the corridors but does not remember making the decision to move his feet. To listen to what the voices were saying.

It had been like he had no control over his body and the idea terrified him. The hair on the back of his neck stands on end and a chill runs down his spine. He takes a step back from that black hole in the wall, then another and another and as he gets further away the fear continues to grow until he can no longer stand it and he takes off running down the corridor. Bare feet pounding on the stone and taking him back the way he came, back to his Yali, back to where he was safe.

The next day, when the light of the twin suns have filled the halls of the sietch and the fear from the night before is but a distant memory Paul asks Chani about the strange hole with its strange markings. Claims he couldn't sleep the night before and was wandering trying to tire his mind.

A look Paul has never seen on Chani crossed her face, a pit opening in his stomach filled with unease. She explained that the area was off limits to everyone, the tunnel was abandoned due to being deemed unsafe. She would not say anymore on the matter. Would not explain how or why it was unsafe and Paul was forced to drop his questioning.

That night the voices came back, louder and more persistent than the night before only this time Paul was determined to ignore them. Nothing good could possibly come from listening, from going to that dark place again. On and on they went, getting louder thensofter than louder again screaming in his ear. Voices of strangers, voices of people he once knew. Gurney, Thufir, his Fathers voice making Paul's heart clench with grief. But still he ignored them. Until he heard a voice he couldn't ignore, a voice he longed to hear again with all his heart and soul.

My Boy

I need you

Help me

Paul

Paul's mind had barely caught up to the fact that it was Duncan's voice calling him before his feet were carrying him out of the door. He raced blindly down corridor after corridor until he came panting to the dead end that wasn't a dead end. To the hole in the wall that sucked in all the light.

A figure was standing just the threshold, tall and broad and achingly familiar. Duncan. Paul did not hesitate, did not stop and think how Duncan was dead and could not possibly be standing there and he ran to him. Threw his arms around Duncan's middle and buried his head in his chest. Eyes burning with tears.

Several minutes go by, Duncan's name falling from Paul's lips in a mantra, before that skin crawling feeling from the first night creeps back down Paul's spine. During the whole time he has been embracing Duncan he had not wrapped Paul in his arms, had not reciprocated in any way. Paul wasn't even sure that Duncan was breathing.

He goes to step back when hands lock onto his arms, grip so tight they pull a pained gasp from mouth and he jerks his head up to look at Duncan's face. Before he has a chance to open his mouth to ask what was wrong he is pulled up and a mouth crashes against his in a bruising kiss. Lips and teeth, devouring and pulling the breath from his lungs. Paul can't help but return the kiss, a groan rising up out of his throat as he presses back. Arms rising up and wrapping around Duncan's neck, Duncan arms wrapped low around his hips and hiking him up into his arms. He had missed Duncan with every piece of himself.

So caught up in the impossibility of having his love back with him that he couldn't see it. Couldn't see that the warm brown he had spent hours staring into was replaced with soulless black. Couldn't see the darkness crawling out of the hole like oil slicked fingers, traveling across the wall. The white chalk symbols disappear one after the other until none remain.

The thing wearing Duncan's face had finally gotten what it needed to step out of the prison that had kept it trapped for a millennia and it was hungry

[inproelia]

"i already lost you once. i'm not going to lose you again."

“"I already lost you once. i'm not going to lose you again."”

✘ — ; Even though it hurt to just breathe, a chuckle forced its way through battered lips, revealing his pearly whites from behind blood stained flesh just as his head bowed weakly. The bitter irony of his disposition felt more like a joke.

It was foolish, being a shield that needed protecting.

Yet, Joshua’s words tugged at his heart, tickling him with a glimmer of warmth that for a moment made him forget about the pain rocking his body. He felt his weight thrown and adjusted against his brother’s smaller frame – one arm thrown over his shoulders as he struggled a bit to carry him away towards safety. Clive stumbled about, kicking up some dirt he started dragging.

Clive tried to focus all of the energy he could muster on alleviating some of the burdens he unfortunately placed on his brother by staying conscious and making sure his two feet continued to move forward one by one; no matter how difficult it was to even stay awake. His left knee buckled and very wistfully he sucked in his teeth and damned himself. It was ridiculous how in one moment, he was on top of the world in perfect shape and the next, reduced to shambles where even walking took every fiber of his being.

Gently, his back found some support as Joshua rested him against the wall. It was then that Clive released the air he had been withholding. The wounds on his body made themselves known; burning and stinging now that the adrenaline dissipated from his veins.

He groaned, exhaustively and pain stricken just before stammering his eyes shut in an attempt to find a moment of reprieve. The icy cool touch that washed over his frame from all the blood lost made his body quiver – made him feel like shutting his eyes and sink into the comfort the darkness behind his eyelids offered.

An orange light flickered, threatening to chase away those shadows. That quick spark soon exploded into a brilliant glow. The temptation of sleep was kept at bay following the warmth of his fire.

Clive reopened his eyes, gingerly at first. He winced as the light before him was forever blinding. In a daze, he was confused as to what it was at first – until the warmth of it made his body feel lighter, coating his wounds with a delicate healing touch.

Finally, as his blurry vision cleared, he saw his brother’s face.

He was not smiling – in fact he had quite a rare expression of frustration and anger on instead. His younger brother didn’t have to say a word – Clive knew exactly why he was upset and what was running through his head.

Old habits die hard, especially the kind that he had no choice in making. Clive was reckless when it came to himself; he gave all of the love he had away and kept none for himself. So whenever there was a battle, whenever there were people in danger – Clive thought little of his own safety and well-being.  The only worth Clive thought he had was what help he could offer to those he loved – as Joshua’s shield above all. And he knew that mentality of his upset his younger brother to no ends.  

“Forgive me…Joshua.” He faintly muttered.

@flamesofrebirths

[ffxiv-f13ndish]

Calm Before the Storm: Simple Delivery

Collab. write with @sorrel-haven [ also credit to sorrel-haven for gpose shot ^^]

Characters:

Kore Grimvik [featured] (sorrel-haven)

Lament Sorrel [mentioned] (sorrel-haven)

Mina [mentioned] (sorrel-haven)

Tofu Curry [mentioned] (@ro-valerius)

Miyu Murasame

Miyu gets bamboozled into going to talk to Kore by Lament's request to deliver a letter. They come to an understanding after the events of their last conversation and reconcile.

Just a simple delivery, that's all. No talking about their embarrassing decisions the night they drank a little too much at the festival – none of that. Lament had given Miyu a letter to pass on to Kore from Mina, and all Miyu intended to do was pass it on… under the door. The moment they got home, they went right to Kore’s door and started to slide the letter through the gap under the door. 

It was that moment Kore opened the door to her room. They both stared at each other in stunned silence, unprepared to face one another so soon. The awkward air lasted a moment too long.

“I’m sorry!” They both shouted at the same time. “Wait you’re sorry? No no, I’m sorry.”

Kore pressed a finger to Miyu’s lips. 

“Would you stop saying the same thing as me?” Kore huffed.

The anxious tension in Miyu’s face melted away, an amused snort sounding from the Miqo’te as giggles bubbled out of them. Kore couldn’t help herself and joined in with the infectious giggles.

“S-” they cut themself off, flashing a cheeky little grin. “You aren’t supposed to see me until after you touch the poisoned letter. Ruined my dramatic reveal.” 

Miyu gave a wink to convey that they were only joking as they handed her the letter, which had never quite left their fingertips. She accepted it and started to open it.

“Mina has a letter for you. It was supposed to be Lament delivering it, but… he seemed a bit caught up in something,” Miyu explained, their delivery coming up dry near the end.  

Kore looked up from the letter and gave Miyu a questioning look. “What do you mean by “caught up?”” 

“Shenanigans, is my bet,” Miyu said as they casually entered the room, casting a look over their shoulder at Kore to indicate it was indeed not a hallway conversation. “I can’t blame him, really. I’d do the same thing, for a bite of messy entertainment.”

Really, Lament likely had other things to do, they believed. However, Miyu was a petty little bastard. But it was all in good fun, for the most part. 

Miyu pulled up a chair and sat themself in it, putting their feet up as they squatted on it. They crossed their arms across their knees and propped their chin on their arms as they kept their gaze pointed towards Kore. 

“He knows that I know, you know?” Stone cold sober, yet Miyu still couldn’t give a clear explanation on things. 

“And that little shit didn’t warn me…” she muttered as she closed the door. She leaned against the door and looked at Miyu. “So they gave you a hard time then?”

“Nope! And she seemed quite keen on tossing Tofu biscuits of the manner of your affections to him,” Miyu continued, with a simultaneous mix of a pained and amused grin. “Coming from one person with siblings to another, I’d be smacking him across the head right about now. But, he isn’t my own sibling so… up to you on what to do with that one.” 

“I’ll tie his ears in a knot…” Kore grumbled.

Miyu chuckled and leaned back where they sat, but stopped doing so as the chair began to tilt back. They sucked in a breath and steadied themself again before they could fall back and knock their head on something. 

“Though, not just your own affections floating about, it seems. Apparently…” they trailed off, pausing to count on one hand. “...four of us, total? My! This is as endearing as it is painful.” Miyu snorted again. Uncomfortable as the conversation topic may be, they were glad to be able to speak about it openly with Kore. 

“Wait… four??” She counts her own fingers, “who’s the fourth?” 

“Doesn’t matter! They are irrelevant to me,” Miyu gave a shrug, along with a sheepish grin. “Only person I cared about hurting was you.”

Kore burst out laughing, this was getting more comedic the more she thought about it. She was almost able to forget the other night. It was just so easy to talk to Miyu. She smiled at them after she recovered from her laughing fit. They really were…

“You really are my best friend.” She gave voice to her inside thought.

Their expression softened at Kore’s last remark. They stood from the chair, approaching Kore to take her hand again. 

“You’re my best friend, too.” They gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “What… happened that night — I… really wish it didn’t turn out like that. I want you to know that nothing has changed, at least for me.”

“I shouldn’t have gotten jealous like that…” She looked down at her hand in theirs.

Miyu gave a shake of their head. “No, you had a right to be. I… do it too.” Miyu gave an embarrassed smile. “I guess it's why I started giving Lament a hard time, too.” 

Kore raised an eyebrow with a smile. “How did you give Lament a hard time?”

“Juuust a little bit of the silent treatment. And I guess I got a tiny bit snappy.” They laughed, with much more ease as their anxiety melted away. Miyu lightly swung their clasped hands back and forward as they talked. “I almost wanted to slap them when they warned me about missing something while I wait for what’s to come of this… situation.” 

A moment of deep reflection crossed Miyu’s features, a distance in their eyes, though their gentle smile never flickered. 

“But… maybe it was something I needed to hear from Lament. I will come to accept whatever happens from all this, however long it takes. If it takes more than three years to chase my heart, I’ll risk missing something. I wasted my heart for more than three years keeping it locked up in some awful place it shouldn’t have been. I won't regret what I do from here.”

Miyu pulled Kore in for an embrace, face buried into their neck. 

“Whatever the outcome is, I just hope you’ll still be in my life.” 

Kore wrapped her arms around Miyu in turn and rested her cheek on their head. She squeezed them lightly in reassurance. 

“Oh Miyu, my little Rainbow. If I were not in your life it would be because I am dead. And even then, I might just haunt you,” she said. It was really hard to tell if that was a joke, or not.

A puff of air escaped Miyu’s nose before they erupted into giggles. 

“Yeah? You better. If you didn’t haunt me, I’d summon your spirit just to chew you out,” they laughed, voice muffled somewhat by the hug. 

[blnk338]

One of the many great things about the universe is it is constantly expanding, which causes many stars to be farther and farther away from earth, and therefore causes them to be dimmer. But, the expansion of the universe only affects the distance between galaxy groups. Which leads me to believe that before the dark era that our black holes will not be able to effect one another. that does space will be so vast and expanded, and we don't know how far it will expand, but it'll be so vast that black holes will not be close enough to each other to even effect one another.

The fact that theoretically the universe can recreate itself to be something completely different something unknown or exactly the same following the exact same flow of time is just an amazes me I love that part of of the unknown cuz there's so many possibilities so many theories that you can come up with and I'm genuinely obsessed with that. That also feeds into the fact that the universe is so grand there could be other "Milky Ways" out there that have just started to begin their journey and could create life similar to ours

(i like ur cat pfp :))

im so glad you mentioned the universe expanding bc my feet r fuckin swinging and shit DID YOU KNOW that we literally have no fucking clue what the edge of the universe, if one at all, is? okay, so we basically have three options:

There is no edge, none, not a single one; that the big bang (which is a theory, still, even though there's so much evidence. also, the big bang wasn't an explosion as many believe bc there was nothing to "ignite" it, it was just a bunch of matter moved all at once) just blasted a bunch of atoms and nuclei out into the universe, they bashed together, and they created shit-- but there's nothing else. as in, technically, you could go out as far as you can and eventually, you'll just have all the stars dwindle and reach a wall of nothingness

there IS an edge, and it's somehow even more terrifying. going back to the big bang, we're going to hypothesize that the "blast" was in an ellipse-ish shape (sort of resembling how a black hole looks where there's the one mass in the center, a force around the "top" and "bottom", and a ring around the side). there is technically an "end" to it-- but its horrifyingly stark. it's like, there's a bajillion, trillion stars, and then suddenly, there's nothing. the question that has to be asked then, is that: will we even see the edge if we DO eventually get to said edge (assuming that earth will continue in the milky way, to move further and further way from the big bang's "blast" zone)? as in, are there mere windows that we can see that utter nothingness? have we missed that window? assumingly, once we'd hit that edge, we, the observer, would just cease to be. or perhaps suddenly, half the night sky would be missing stars and would be an endless void that slowly consumed the rest of the sky until there was nothing to realize that the planet had "fallen off the edge."

finally, the third option-- that the universe is in one big cycle (but not like my last response to your ask); using an example of a black hole. think of it sort of like this:

so think of it like we start at point A and move to point B, hypothetically, if we were to stick with the second option, we would then just fall off the universe entirely and cease to be HOWEVER, in this third case, we'd be thrown from B to C if, at the center of the big bang's "blast" was sort of a reverse black hole (this one was a wild card that i saw), and in that sense, we would also cease to be, as we would then be sucked into the black hole. UNLESS, it acted more as a gravitational pull sort of thing and swung us under/around the "center" and onto point D. If, however, it wasn't as strong, we would be thrown to point E and, hypothetically, be thrown to point F, and somehow make it back to point B and start the process over again (although, it'd take a few trillion trillion trillion years, id assume)

The reason why I throw the third one out the window is that I don't think there'd even be enough TIME for any of that to occur, if anything, because the Milky Way galaxy and Andromeda galaxy will collide and therefore wipe out all living things and also most DEFINITELY throw both galaxies out of balance. if you're curious, (thank you NASA for the visuals), the first image is what Andromeda looks like today.

See that little white line beside the big ring of bright stars? That's Andromeda outside of the Milky Way's rings (unfortunately, most people can't see.

The second image seen is in about two billion years:

it's far closer, in fact, we can make out the goddamn details-- it's scary, but most likely not a single person reading this post will actually ever experience it. bummer for the space brain, major win for present-day humanity as we would not experience the horror of living on a planet that, in 2 billion years, would be exponentially hotter

third image is in about 3.75 billion years:

i believe it is now (and do correct me if I'm wrong) that this is the point where the oceans begin to dry up; the planet is so fucking hot that there's no way life could be sustained

fourth image is in about 3.85 billion years (happening fast since the last image):

the formation of stars lights up the sky as every speck in the sky we've ever know gets outshined by the constant collateral and literal damage in the sky above us.

fifth image, in about 3.9 billion years (IK!! close together, mark you calendars):

the formation continues into this beautiful and terrifying amalgamation of clusters hashing it out through bared teeth and gaseous war cries

image six, roughly 4 billion years:

andromeda and the milky way now become one. like some epic yaoi finale, they've merged together to create milkomeda/milkdromeda. we are far past dead at this point, luckily, and anything that lived on earth is far past deceased at this point

image seven 5.1 billion years:

the cores of what used to be the milky way and Andromeda have now appeared in the sky as two giant bulbs, and the planet somehow heats up further (it has been, in case you thought it'd stop-- this is space, shit's always hitting the proverbial fan)

final image, 7 billion years:

the merged galaxies become one, ultimate yaoi, and the bright core would take up the entire sky-- no stars would be seen.

... or whatever

[spacecadetspe]

A snippet from last year...

Jul. 20, 2023

I had a nightmare rather early last night.  It started with an argument with Fortitude about my regular ups and downs.  He doesn't like seeing me cry, just as I don't much like seeing him depressed.

He asked me a couple days ago about my favorite modern orchestral composer and conductor, Joe Hisaishi (iykyk), and where his music takes me.  At the time, I told him it was a place of wonder and joy and comfort... and then I realized with a start exactly what I meant: not here.  Not the world that continuously tries to beat me down, no matter how hard I fight.  And I started crying because the world I live in just became too overwhelming for a moment, and I was tired of carrying its weight.

So he came to me last night, after I had a lovely day walking the dog, making candles, and piddling around in my sketchbook, and told me he wasn't sure what we could talk about when just about anything might "trigger" me.

I took a few minutes to think about it, as well as to get him a bowl of made-from-scratch curry that I'd put together for us, and finally went back into the fray.  I told him it wasn't his responsibility to tiptoe over my traumas, and that, yeah, I was probably going to cry occasionally.  It's not always a problem that he can fix, and sometimes all I need are his hugs (which he sells himself far too short on).  And no, it doesn't fix things, but I feel supported and loved, and that gives me the strength to keep fighting.  I would be more than happy to talk out what started the episode; but the last thing I need is for him to think it's personal.  I lost my grandmother, two of my best friends, my job, and the trust of one of my closest advisors, all in under a year.  None of my emotions are his responsibility to deal with.  

I told him that I don't like when he's depressed, either.  I tried to convince myself that it's because I care, and I want him to be happy, but the truth is it makes me uncomfortable.  And it makes me uncomfortable because I have grown up as a people-pleaser (i.e., without boundaries) who perennially attempts to placate the chaotic people and my life.  I had to sit with that discomfort until I realized that his emotions aren't mine to deal with, either.  And yeah, it sucks to know there's nothing I can do to make it better, but I'm here for him, and when/if he tells me there's something I can do, then I absolutely will.

I lay down and tried to go to sleep, but... it didn't work out.  I had a nightmare that I was looking for W in the parking lot of a cheap buffet he loves.  I had the notion that he was either inside the building and had been waiting for me for some time, or X and his girlfriend had driven away with him in a faded green classic car.

My solar plexus and sacrum cracked under the weight of that terror, and I woke up.  It took me for-damned-ever to go back to sleep, it was so painful.  I honestly don't recall if Phobetor was involved, but... if it was, then why?  Did I need the experience, and I just wasn't fully healed?  Was he trying to hurt me again?  Did he want to try to dream with me the way Morpheus does?  I don't really understand... and I don't want to jump immediately into feeling resentful.

But... if I'm honest, it's probably best if I let these feelings peter out.  Fortitude mentioned that I might be attracted to Phobetor for the same reason I was attracted to Hades; sheer magnetism.  And really, I'm pretty sure I don't need a consort who tries to hurt me repeatedly.

I just... don't know what to do with all these thoughts.  I don't know how I should resolve any of this.  I don't want to dislike or resent Phobetor, not when I've spent the last three years and change getting close and being affectionate with him.  It's true I'd like an explanation, but it's not like that's going to heal me.  In the end, all it does is help me determine how I should treat him in the future.

[shadowsofmysoul93]

Almost five days later and I’m just still so stunned and shocked at all this. I can’t believe you did this and just left me again. I’m just fucking shook. Like I just don’t get it. I’m trying to. But I don’t get it. No closure. Nothing. Last week around this time we were trying to work this out. We could of worked this out, or we could have at least tried since there was so much history and time invested between us. I didn’t wanna take a break for us to just turn out like this. I wanted to come out stronger. We could have done this. I still believed in us. I wish you would have really taken the time to think about all this before making this decision. Now a week later and we’re just two strangers. I don’t get it. I have endless texts of you saying I can have all the time in the world. I had a gut feeling this would happen again. I should have just listened to it. I thought I could control the situation and give you what you needed.

Twice now this has happened. I should’ve known, I should’ve known this would happen again. I have never done this to you. You may of been heartbroken on the break, but I wasn’t just done. We were in communication and you knew if you needed me I would be there. I always was. How can you just throw everything away? How can you just throw me away? I feel like in some weird way I’m being punished out of spite to show me how you felt. But I didn’t just drop you. We were in contact a lot. We had talked about everything and we were on the same page. If you felt differently I wish you would have communicated that, so we could’ve had a conversation. This isn’t fair at all. How can you just not care at all.

I almost feel like you just wanted me because we were on the break. And now when I was ready to try again, you didn’t want me anymore. You found someone new so easily and just threw me away. I would’ve never done that. This whole break my heart was with you. At the end of the day, I always wanted you. I know at times it didn’t feel that way and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like I didn’t want you. That wasn’t on purpose. I was just trying to figure out some things for me. I thought I was doing something healthy for the both of us, so we could have a fresh start. I wish I could change things. I never thought we would end up like this.

It crushes me that you said you love me but you don’t wanna be with me, that I will find someone great. The thing is… I wanted you. You had someone who wanted you through Everything. I hope one day you realize that. No matter what you did, or the mistakes you made I still wanted to be with you. None of this makes sense. You said you did all these things for me. Like buy new clothes, double pierce your ears, buy perfume, etc… so you did all those things for me, just to leave me? It sucks that you wanted me until you found someone new, and makes me wonder how genuine your feelings actually were for me… I mean, you beg me to stay, I take the time I need for me, while still involving you in lots of things over the summer and still in contact with you, hanging out with you, and still giving you different types of affirmation, and reassurance until I needed a little more space for me. I then turn around and give back into you. Wanting to try to make this work even after what just happened. All I wanted to do is at least try, b/c I love you. I thought we cared about each other more than this. I was guarded for months for many reasons, and was scared to let you back in b/c I didn’t want this to happen, and then right as I let my walls down, you leave…you don’t wanna be alone, but you leave me alone. Literally makes zero sense. Do you even understand how mean and confusing that is? I have so many questions and I continue to think I’ll never understand.

I thought I knew you better than anyone. I’m about speechless. I wanna think you care but idk if you do. You’ve probably made me out to be some shitty person to your friends and family so you can get through this. So you feel validated for fucking me over. When I’m sure they don’t know half of it. I’m gonna be the bad guy no matter what. Obviously you know how much you’ve hurt me, and either you just don’t care or you’re using this new guy as a shield from your feelings. I’ll never know, and that’s not business. But god damn does it suck. This all fucking sucks.