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yoonguurt · 6 months

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Summary: A failed relationship and an ailing mother forces Y/N to move back to her hometown, despite not wanting to. She knows in her heart that everything will be the same as the day she left. Nothing ever changes in a small town. Except when it does. A new neighbor, a new hardware store, and two new additions to the town bring the holiday magic into Y/N’s life. The question is, will the magic stay or will the ghost of Christmas past ruin everything?

Pairing: non idol!San × reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut

Trope: strangers to lovers

Word count: 15,207 (yikes)

Warnings: mentions of death of a parent, mentions of cheating (not San or reader), mentions of depression and antidepressants, reader's mother is in poor health. Smut warnings under the cut.

A/n: this is the longest fic I have ever written and I genuinely had fun writing it. I'm so proud of this. Thank you to @kwanisms for making the banner as always

@anyamaris @stardragongalaxy @millennial-fangirl @kpop-stories-21 @twisted-tales-of-all @skyechild @staytinyville

Smut warnings: Switch!San, switch!reader, oral sex (m&f receiving), fingering, marking, protected sex, they just soft for each other.

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You step off of the bus, leaves crunching under you feet as you look around, noticing that the town looks pretty much the same as the day you left. Some of the buildings are more run down than they used to be, the roads are a little less maintained, but it’s nothing major.

You sigh and readjust the bag on your shoulder, tightening your grip on the suitcase beside you. Your thoughts drift, reminding yourself to call the moving company to confirm the arrival date of the rest of your things. Your thoughts shift to Joshua and you hear bits of your final conversation, before blinking away the tears starting to form and take your first step.

You had sold your car, knowing you wouldn’t need it in such a small place, your mother can no longer drive so you can use her car if needed. You look at your watch, not having a cell phone since not only was it on Joshua’s plan, but you didn’t want an easy way for him to contact you.

You start walking along the sidewalk, keeping your head down and lost in your thoughts. Your childhood home isn’t that far from the main square and you still know the way like the back of your hand.

A few people stop you and make small talk, surprised that you’re back in town and seeming to be staying for a while. You try to be polite, though avoidant when they ask questions, only telling them that your mother needed you here so you came. Your patience is being tested, but you do your best not to let it show on your face. God, you really don’t want to be here.

After finally getting away from the nosey town people, thinking that no one in this town has anything better to do than worry about other people’s business, you smile as you pass the local diner. You know you’ll be the talk of the town for a while, but the memories of all the time spent in that dingy diner drift through your mind.

Your first date, your first job (well sort of), your last hangout before leaving town. You remind yourself that you really need to stop by and talk to Lou as soon as possible. Out of everyone here, you’ve missed him the most and you know he’ll be happy to see you.

You make it to your mother’s neighborhood, looking around to see what, if anything has changed. Everything looks mostly the same, your mother’s house is in desperate need of paint and good lawn care, though. You notice the house to the right of her mother’s has changed.

There is a swing set in the yard, a small inflatable pool and a tricycle scattered throughout. You guess that the older lady that lived there must have moved. Of course she would have, it has been 12 years since you left. That lady may not even be alive anymore, that thought bringing a ping of hurt to your heart. She was always such a wonderful lady. You shake the sad thought away before stepping up to the front door and pulling your key out and unlocking the door.

You call out to your mother, letting her know that you made it. You hear your mother’s voice sounding out from the kitchen. You kick your shoes off beside the door and walk down the short hall, making a right into the kitchen to see your mother standing at the island in the center of the room, a smile on her face. You greet your mother with a hug and accepts the mug of coffee she hands you.

You look around as the two of you talk about your trip, noticing that there are many repairs that need to be made. Cabinets need to be painted and finished, the counters need to be fixed, and the wallpaper is peeling. You briefly wonder what else needs to be fixed.

You think you noticed the railing along the stairs was tilted. You sigh again, knowing that there’s no way you can leave these things the way they are. You know these things are bothering you, but in her current state you also know that she can’t fix them herself.

Your mother’s questioning about Joshua brings you out of your thoughts, and you force a small smile. “ He’s fine, mom.” You know that your mother can tell that there is something you aren’t saying, but decides not to push the issue right now.

After finishing your coffee, you excuse yourself, telling your mother that you are going to unpack your things and you make your way back down the hallway, making another right to go up the stairs.

As you reach the top of the stairs, you pause, taking a look around the upstairs of the house. Your childhood bedroom is to the left of the stairs There is a door to the right before you get to your room, your mother’s old sewing room. You remember sitting on the bean bag chair on the floor of the room reading while your mother sewed.

The next door on the left is the bathroom, you think about how many days you spent hours in there, trying to make sure you looked your best for school. Your bedroom door is the last door on the right, the room across the hall is an old storage room that you’re sure has many of your childhood toys. Your mother has always been a sentimental hoarder.

Before entering your room, you turn and take a long back down the hallway. There aren’t as many rooms down the right side of the hall. Your parent’s room is the only door on the left, the master bedroom with their own bathroom and there’s a small alcove with a bay window on the right.

Your eyes pause on the door at the end of the hall, your father’s study. You stare at the door for a moment before turning back to face your door. With one more sigh, you open your door, throwing one last look at the door at the end of the hall, and head into your room, closing the door softly behind you.

You let your eyes drift around the room. The desk that you used for homework is set up against the back wall and you quickly take your laptop from your bag, setting it on the desk and plugging the charger into the wall.

You had found a job as a remote legal assistant, mostly fielding emails to the correct parties, getting video calls of meetings that you needed to type the minutes for. You were very thankful that your former boss had put you in contact with someone that had the position available. Without being able to stop them, your thoughts drift to your old life.

You had left your hometown not long after graduating, knowing that the small town life wasn’t for you. You had quickly found a job as a receptionist for a law firm, and you were damn good at your job. And you loved your job. You regret that you didn’t visit more, really only making the two hour drive back home for the holidays. You had still talked to your mother every day, but you knew that she would have loved to see you more.

After being with the firm for a year, a new partner was welcomed into the work family. Joshua had immediately caught your attention. Not only was he gorgeous, but he was soft spoken and polite. A true gentleman. He had a wonderful sense of humor. He was just amazing.

For two years, your life had been everything you had wanted. Until the death of your father. His death hit you hard. You essentially shut down for a while, you can admit to that. You know that Joshua tried to bring you out of your grief, but you hadn’t let him in.

Though you could realize that those things happened, that didn’t excuse Joshua’s actions. It didn’t excuse you walking into Joshua’s office on day to find him fucking his assistant. No, there was no excuse for that. You had come to tell him that you would need to come back home for a while, your mother wasn’t doing well and you needed to get her settled. Now, your visit has become a permanent residence.

You shake yourself out of your thoughts and focus your attention back on your room.

Your bookcase sits left of the door, mostly empty. Your face falls into frown. You didn’t read much when you were a teen, too busy with parties and friends. You had picked up on the hobby after you had moved. The thought that the bookcase would be full once the rest of your things arrive lifted your spirits a bit.

Reading had become one of your most treasured hobbies. When you had a bad day, you could lose yourself in a fictional world. The thought that you didn’t know if you could take away the worries and doubts you have currently makes your heart sink a little bit, but you swallow the sadness down, determined not to let yourself breakdown again. You had done her crying the night she left and you promised yourself that that was the last time you would cry over Joshua.

You look around your room again, smiling at how it looks exactly like you left it. Your queen size bed still has the zebra print bedspread you had gotten when you were 16 and you cringe a little. “The first thing I’m buying is a new bedspread and sheets.” Your voice is a whisper despite being the only one in the room.

Your slight grimace fades into a smile when you see the handmade quilt your aunt had given you as a Christmas present folded and placed at the foot of your bed. You take a step forward and rub your fingers along the fabric, her eyes watering a little at the memory of your aunt giving it to her. You really need to call her and see how she’s doing. You huff a small laugh, remembering that even in this day and age, both your mother and aunt still have wall phones, thinking that they really are sisters.

After taking a shower and changing into a tank top and sweats, you make your way back downstairs to check on your mother and help her make dinner. You pop your head into the kitchen, clearing your throat to let your mother aware of your presence. “Need any help?” Your mom smiles and nods. “I would love some.”

The two of you make small talk as you bumble around the kitchen, cutting vegetables and preparing everything your need. You turn to face your mother, only to notice that she is winding, but trying to hide it. “Mom, sit down. I can handle the rest of this.” She opens her mouth to argue, but you throw a stern glare at her and she sighs and sits at the table, a slight pout on her face. What an adorable woman.

The food is ready in no time, and you make a plate for each of you.

“Wanna eat in the living room? Maybe we can watch The Thornbirds?” Your mother quickly agrees, glad to be spending time with you and watching something you both love.

You eat quietly, paying attention to the movie like you haven’t seen it a million times. When you’ve finished your food, you set your plate on the coffee table, fully intending to wash it once the movie is over. It hits you just how much you have missed spending time with your mom like this. You pull your feet onto the couch and throw a blanket over yourself as you lay your head in your mother’s lap, simply enjoying how much better it makes you feel.

“Y/N. Wake up, sweet girl,” your mother’s voice wakes you up.

You hadn’t meant to fall asleep but you guess that the comfort of snuggle up to your mother must have lulled you into slumber. You stand slowly, stretching with a grunt. Your mom stands as well, much more slowly than you had.

“Mom, is it your feet?”

She nods and tells you that it’s fine, but you make sure to help her up. You wrap your arm around hers, helping her up the stairs. “I can do this on my own, you know?” Her voice has a bit of her trademark attitude and you have to bite back a laugh. “I’m sure you can, but you’re not.” That makes her fake angry front break and she giggles.

Once you make it to your mother’s door, you let go of her arm. “I’m glad to have you home. I love you,” she ends with a kiss to your forehead and you tell her that you love her too before turning to return to your bedroom. You hope that your bed is as comfortable as it used to be as you climb in, getting comfortable. Sleep comes quickly, though your dreams are filled with arguments and tears.

You wake up later than you had planned the next day, though you don’t feel guilty about it. Your new job doesn’t start until next month so you don't necessarily have to be up early.

You hear your mother moving around downstairs and you make a stop by the bathroom to potty and brush your teeth before heading downstairs. You can’t help but stop at the top of the stairs, your eyes stopping on the door at the end of the hall. The thought of walking into the study crosses your mind, but you quickly dismiss it, knowing that you aren’t ready for that.

You peek in each room looking for your mother, eventually finding her on the back porch, a cup of coffee in her hand as she sits on the porch swing. She flashes you a smile and wishes you a good morning. “Though it’s almost afternoon. There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen,” she laughs at her own little joke.

“Morning Ma,” you greet her. “I’m so glad you made coffee. I’m not used to that bed anymore so I tossed and turned all night.” She hums in acknowledgement and you turn, moving forward to the kitchen to get your coffee.

While in the kitchen, your attention is brought back to the state of disarray of your mother’s home. You make the decision that today you'll go into the main square and get yourself a new bedspread and some basic necessities. Tomorrow you can go to the hardware store and look into what you’ll need to fix the kitchen up.

You make your coffee, and return to the porch and talk to your mother about your plans for the day, asking if her mother needs anything.

“All I can think of is that my medicine should be ready at the pharmacy. Do you mind picking it up for me?”

You agree and the conversation turns to what happened to the older lady that lived next door. “Oh. Her son had to put her in a home after she fell. I heard she passed after about a year.” Although this was what you expected, knowing that this is what happened still hurts.

“There have been a few people in and out of the house since then. Right now, there’s a young man around your age and his son. I don’t know much about him, but he seems like a nice boy.” Maybe more changed around here than you thought.

You take your time enjoying your coffee and chatting with your mom, getting a shower afterwards and getting ready to run your errands. The hot water feels amazing on your skin and once again you take your time. You’re used to being in a rush when you get ready and it’s nice to just be.

Looking through your clothes, you choose a pair of black skinny jeans and a band tee. You complete the outfit with your black combat boots, the ones that have little metal hearts on the side. A lot of things have changed since you left town, but you still sure hasn’t.

When you decide that you’re ready go, you stop by the back porch to tell you mother that you’re heading out and telling her that you’ll see her later.

The late fall air feels crisp and you take a deep breath, simply enjoying it. The fresh air is definitely something you’ve missed about being home. The city is great in many ways, but the air quality certainly isn’t one of them. It’s also nice to step outside and not hear sirens and horns everywhere immediately.

There’s something peaceful about being able to feel the breeze and just walking in silence.

As you step off the front porch, you find yourself walking to your mother’s car out of habit. You had already decided to walk, though you have second thoughts when you remember that you’ll be carrying a bed set home.

You stand firm in your decision to walk, thinking that the walk could be the replacement for a gym trip that you totally would have gone on in the city. (That’s a lie. You hate the gym, but it sounds better in your head.)

As the slight breeze hits your back, you think about grabbing a jacket. If your back gets cold, you’re fucked, but you take the risk instead of trudging back inside. Plus, you remind yourself, the weather here is finicky and it could suddenly warm up and you could be sweating.

As you walk to the square, you feel as if you’re repeating the day before. Multiple people stop you, they obviously haven’t heard the gossip from the people that stopped you yesterday. Or they just want to see if they can get something else out of you, which is entirely possible.

As you make it to the center of town, the sidewalk traffic slows down and you breathe out a sigh of relief. You notice that the hardware store has barely changed, only the name is new. You glance through the window, the inside still looks exactly the same. There’s a little boy grinning and talking to anyone he see. The boy is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. His little afro bouncing a little as he runs around.

Smiling softly at the image in front of you, you turn your head back to the sidewalk as you press on. Just past the hardware store is the pharmacy. It looks as if it hasn’t changed a bit and you are certain that an older version of the pharmacist sits inside behind the counter. You make a mental note, reminding yourself to stop and get your mom’s medication on your way back home. The thought of carrying medication around the home goods store makes you uncomfortable, so you feel resolute in your choice.

You lower your head as you pass the diner, not ready to be stopped yet. You still need to stop in and see Lou, but you think that you’ll do that tomorrow. The home goods store is a couple buildings down from the diner. It still baffles you that this town has such a large store, though it wouldn’t be considered large by most people’s standards, and you’re kind of shocked it has lasted as long as it has.

The bell dings as you open the door and you cringe slightly, hoping no one notices that it’s you who walked through the door. You walk down the main aisle, looking at the signs on the edges of side aisles trying to find the bedding aisle. Honestly, you don’t have high hopes about the selection they’ll have, but you guess anything is better than the zebra print monstrosity that is on your bed currently. You finally find the bedding aisle and you are pleasantly surprised to see both sides of the aisle are full of options. You look over the choices in front of you, realizing that you were correct. Most of the options are different brands of the same plain sets. When you resign yourself to having to get a plain white set, you find something that perfectly suits your taste. It’s black in color and has a large sun with smaller stars and moons floating around randomly on the rest of the comforter. You discretely jump in happiness when you see that they have one queen sized set left and you quickly snatch it up and make your way to the register, remembering half way there to grab some new body wash and basic necessities. Luckily, the store is fairly empty and you don’t recognize the young girl at the counter, so you feel relief at someone probably not knowing you. You’re very glad to know that your assumption was correct, the girl barely pays attention to you and you’re able to quickly pay and leave.

As you carry the bedding, you groan internally, annoyed at yourself for not stopping at the pharmacy before you went to the home goods store. The bedding is slipping from your hand and the angle is awkward. This is not one of your best decisions.

'Mistakes have been made. '

Readjusting you grip on the bedding, you pick up you pace, doing your best to make it to the pharmacy as quickly as possible. As you turn towards the door of the pharmacy, you let out a groan when you realize that you going to have a time getting this open with your hands full.

Resigning yourself to the fact that you’re going to have to put the bedding down to open the door, you’re surprised when a hand and a soft “Let me,” comes from your right. You turn your head and you have to hold in your gasp gasp.

An absolutely beautiful man is smiling a bright smile, briefly reminding you of the boy you saw earlier through the window of the hardware store. His black hair is pushed back off of his forehead and you have the thought that you want to run your hands through it.

His shoulders are broad, but his waist is tiny. He’s gorgeous.

He pulls the door open, gesturing with left hand in an “after you” motion. You smile, slightly shyly which is very unlike you, and thank him. He holds the door open for you before he steps inside him self. “You’re welcome,” he replies. “Just couldn’t stand to see a pretty lady struggling,” he adds, giving you a smile and a nod, turning while you continue straight toward the counter.

A friendly older man smiles as he asks you what he can help you with. You were right when you guessed it was the same man that worked here before you left. People tend to stick to the same thing forever in small towns.

You give him your mother’s name and tell him that you are her daughter and are here to pick up her medication. He gives you a nod and steps away to locate the medication. You quickly set the bedding down, giving your arm a stretch so it doesn’t get stiff.

The pharmacist comes back with the medication for your mother and gives you the total of the purchase. You pays pausing to ask him a few questions about the medication before you grab your things and head toward the door. You notice the man from earlier standing in front of the vitamins, looking a little confused.

You step forward, voice not too loud to scare the man. “You need any help there?” He startles a little and you chuckle a little and apologize, telling him that he just looked like he was confused. He laughs shyly, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “I-uh, came to get my son’s vitamins, but they’re out of the ones I usually buy. I’m trying to find a suitable substitute.”

You give him a firm nod turning to look at the options. You asks him what kind he normally gets and he tells you the brand. You scan the shelf, unaware of the eyes on the side of your face, before making a small “aha” and setting your bedding down again and reaching out to grab a bottle.

“These are just as beneficial as the ones you normally get, but they’re cheaper. Plus, they’re gummies so he’ll probably like them more,” you explain as you hand him the bottle. He smiles widely at you and you can feel your breath catching again as he thanks you.

“No need for thanks. Just returning the favor.” He gives you another big smile and follows you to the door, opening it again so you can step outside. You thank him and tell him to have a good day as he turns back around to pay.

The rest of your trip home is without incident, much to your relief. You walk through your mother’s door and call out. “Mom! I’m back!” You take your things upstairs to drop your things off in your room. You go back downstairs to find your mother. She asks about you day and you decide to bring up her medication as you hand it to her.

“Momma, why didn’t you tell me things were so bad. Mr. Jones told me a bit about these medications. Antidepressants, medicine for chronic sinus issues and face pain, and pain medication for your feet.” You watch her face as she processes what you’ve said, not pushing her to answer you immediately. You want her to be able to take her time.

After a moment or two, she speaks. “I’ve been handling things the best I could. You had your own life and I didn’t want to worry you more than necessary.” Your eyes begin to water and you hug her, apologizing for not being around more.

“Oh dear, I’m not upset with you for growing up and going on your own path. But I sure am glad to have you home.” The two of you stand in each others arms for a bit longer.

You think it’s finally time to break the news to her mother that you and Joshua are no longer together and the reasoning behind your breakup.” Mom, Josh and I aren’t together anymore. I found him with another woman a week or so before I came back.”

She tilts her head and pulls you back into her arms, asking if you’re ok. You softly tell her mother that you’re ok, still hurt, but ok. You mother suggests that the two of you cook together and watch another movie and you smile and agree.

After eating and watching the movie, you had decided to watch Ma and Pa Kettle, an old favorite of yours, you help your mother to bed and change your bedding. You take a look at what feels like a brand new bed, beyond pleased to have the god awful zebra atrocity gone from sight.

You check your email before bed, noticing an email from Joshua. You delete it without even reading it, not even thinking twice about it. You order yourself a new phone, already tired of not having one and climb into bed.

You wake up earlier than you did the day before and go through the routine of brushing your teeth, showering, and having breakfast and coffee with you mom. You definitely picked up your coffee addiction from her.

“Just a reminder that I’m going to the hardware store today. Gotta get started on fixing this kitchen.” She nods telling you to take the car today, and you agree with a laugh, telling her that you had already planned on it. “Are you dead set on these white cabinets?” Your mom smiles softly.

“The kitchen is your project, my baby. You do whatever you want with it. The house will be yours eventually, might as well have it the way you like it.” You smile despite the painful thought that one day your mother won’t be here. “Besides, you did always talk about designing the perfect kitchen.”

You give her a wide smile, glad she remembers how much you always talked about designing the kitchen in your future home. You tells her that you will see her later as you grab the keys to the car and steps outside.

You hear laughter from the lawn of the house next door and turn to see a little boy running to the car in the driveway, and a man hunched down chasing him, wiggling his fingers like he’s going to tickle the boy. The sight warms your heart and you briefly think that they look familiar. You smile to yourself and makes your way to the car.

You park the car in the small lot in front of the hardware store, sitting for a moment before getting out and stepping to the door of the building. Pulling on the handle, you find that the door won’t open. You check the hours on the front of the glass, it says that the store should be open by now. You heave a sigh, something that has become quite common lately, and turn to head back to the car.

“Are you trying to get into the hardware store?” A voice comes from behind you. You turn to find the man from the pharmacy the day before, a set of keys in one hand and the hand of a small boy in the other. You give him a smile and nod, waving at the boy. You bend down a little.

“Well, hello there.” The boy smiles and waves back. “I’m so sorry. Normally, I’d have opened up by now, but a certain little boy didn’t want to get out of bed this morning.” As he finishes his sentence, his eyes flicker down to the boy, who is still wearing his bright smile.

You laugh and tells him that you understand and there are still some days where you don’t want to get out of bed. The man laughs his beautiful laugh again and opens the door, making the same motion with his hand as he did the day before.

Once you get into the store, the man snaps and makes an oh sound. You jump a little and look at him with a confused look. “This is the second time we’ve met and I still haven’t introduced myself. I’m San and this is my store.” He’s wearing a small smirk as he speaks.

You give him your name back, trying not to let your tummy flutter when he says that it is a pretty name. You squat down to the boy, making sure you’re face to face. “And what is your name, cutie?”

He gives you a big smile. “I’m Mason Choi and I’m four.” He holds up four fingers as he speaks. “My address is--”

“Ok, buddy, you don’t have to tell her all of that,” San interrupts with a breathy laugh, causing you to giggle along with him. You stand back up to full height, asking San where you can find the paint, and he points you in the right direction before you both go your separate ways.

You browse the paint aisle, taking your time looking through the colors. You aren’t sure you’ll be able to pick one for certain, but you know she’ll be taking home some swatches. You spend a few minutes thinking about the overall theme you want for the kitchen, trying to think about what would go best with what you have in mind. you gets a memory of what she wanted to do as a child, softly smiling at where your thoughts have drifted.

“You must really like that color.”

A voice comes from you left, a laugh following. You turn to find San there, giving you a smirk. You laugh softly and tell him that you were just thinking about a childhood memory. “When I was little, I wanted to design my mom’s kitchen. When she asked me what I wanted to do with it, I had a solid plan. Bubblegum colored walls, with white paint dripping down and splats of bright colors randomly placed around. I wanted the walls to look like ice cream.”

He gives a big laugh and you feel your insides churn again, internally cursing yourself. “What even brought that to mind?”

You tell him that you’re here to pick out paint, but you needed to think of a theme first.. He nods his head as if telling her to continue. You tell him that you current pet project is to redo the kitchen and that it’s in desperate need of a remodel.

“Do you plan to paint first?” His question isn’t judging, merely asking as if he’s trying to help. You think for a moment before shaking your head. “I should probably replace the cabinets and counters first, a slight blush coming to the surface of your cheeks.

You should have thought of that. And why are you blushing? You don’t blush. What is going on?

“In that case, you’re probably going to want to look into what kind of style you want the cabinets you want. There’s many different styles. Same goes for the counters. So many different patterns for counter tops.”

He pauses for a moment, allowing you nod to let him know that you are paying attention. Honestly, you don’t think you could pull your attention away from him.

“Now, I don’t have pre built cabinets here, but I’m sure I could track down a catalog somewhere that you can look through.” You give him a shake of your head, telling him that he doesn’t have to go through that much trouble, you could just do a search online. He gives you a sideways smile, telling you that he’s going to do it anyway. The smile is so fucking adorable that it has you smiling with him.

“So, are you going to be doing this yourself or is your dad or boyfriend helping?” The mention of both your dad and a boyfriend makes your smile fall and your body stiffen a little.

“No, it’ll just be me.” He gives you a shallow nod, his smile falling slightly too. He quickly recovers, though, keeping his cheerful mood. “If you need any help, please just ask. I don’t mind helping at all.” You smile and tell him that you will definitely keep that in mind.

Mason runs up to San, telling him that someone has come into the store asking for him. San bends down and thanks his son with a kiss on the cheek and stands to take his hand. “If you need help with anything, just let me know.” You tell that you will and he gives you a wink as he heads to the front of the store.

You look at paint swatches for a while longer, lost in thought. Your stomach eventually begins to rumble and you make the decision to finally brave the diner. You make you way back to the door, throwing San and Mason a smile and a wave before leaving.

You walk to the diner, stopping to take a deep breath before making you way in front of the windows and to the door.

Pulling the door open, you’re hit with the smell of greasy burgers and fries and you sigh, suddenly overcome with a homey feeling. The diner holds many memories, both good and bad, and you figure it’s time to face them head on.

You slide into the booth in the back, it was always your favorite. You glances down, seeing the menu on the table, knowing that you don’t even have to look at it to know what you want.

A middle aged woman comes up to you and asks if you’re ready and you nod. You go with your favorite, a bacon cheese burger with extra pickles and a tea. Lou makes the best burgers. Before the waitress can leave, you ask her to tell Lou that it’s Y/N. The lady gives you a confused look before nodding and walking off to the kitchen.

You can hear the waitress yell Lou’s name before her voice lowers. You smirk slightly, counting down in you head. Only a second later, a tall man with a big belly comes barreling out of the kitchen area, throwing his apron on the counter.

You stand up from the booth, waiting beside it as the man makes his way to you. Lou greets you with a hug, telling you that he’s missed his best waitress. You laugh at his antics.

“Lou, I never actually worked for you.”

He brushes you off with a wave of his hand and asks how you’ve been. You tell him that you’ve been better, but you’ve also been worse. He gives you a sigh and a nod.

“You’ve always been so quiet about how you actually feel. Come on and tell Big Lou what’s going on.” You sit down, motioning for him to sit across from you. He holds his finger up in a hold on signal and walks back to the kitchen. You smile as he walks away, thinking back on your time knowing the gentle giant.

Lou has owned the diner for as long as you can remember, though you knows that it can’t be as long as it feels since the man is in his late 40s. He’s a man that looks gruff and unfriendly, but once you really get to know him, he’s a great person to have in your life.

Lou has always been your group of friends’ confidant in a sense, always listening, never talking unless asked. With you in particular, he always dragged what was wrong out of you. When you first boyfriend broke up with you, you went to the diner, obviously upset but refusing to talk about it. Lou told you that if you were going to sit and mope, could you at least take an order to a customer since he was short staffed.

You remember that you had looked at him like he was a crazy man and he just gave you a toothy grin. That had made you smile as well and you grabbed the plate and took it to the customer. That had started the tradition of you coming to the diner when you were sad and Lou giving you things to do to take your mind off of it. He always paid you out of the money out of the register, even though you told him that he didn’t have to. You always ended up telling him what was wrong and he always gave the best advice. It was an unusual friendship, but one you greatly treasured.

You’re shaken out of your thoughts by Lou sliding into the booth, your burger on a plate in one hand and a plate full of cheese fries in the other. “Lou, I didn’t order cheese fries,” your voice is teasing. He just tells you to hush and eat you food. You laugh a big laugh and start to dig in.

“Alright Peanut, spill the beans.”

You take a breath and repeat the story of your relationship with Joshua. You vent about your mother’s health and how you’re worried about her. You talk about the kitchen remodel. For the first time since your father’s death, you talk about it and how you handled it when it happened and how you’re handling it now. You mention your thoughts of going into his study, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.

By the time you’ve finished spilling your guts to Lou, you’ve finished your burger and are starting to work on the fries. You flick your eyes up to Lou’s face, trying to gauge his reaction to the spew of information you’ve given him. His eyebrows are furrowed, obviously deep in thought. You stare at him for a moment, waiting patiently. He takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly. He looks at you with a serious expression before opening his mouth.

“So, you looking for a job?”

The question makes you burst out laughing, the first whole hearted laugh you’ve had since finding out Joshua was cheating on you, probably since you lost your father. You laugh until your stomach hurts and you have tears gathering in her eyes. Lou reaches across the table to pat you on the hand.

“You’re a strong woman and you’re gonna get through all of this and come out stronger on the other side. Now, what is this boy’s name and where does he live. It’s for science.”

You give his hand a slight slap and tell him to get back to work. He stands and gives you another hug and you move to go pay for you food. Lou moves in front of the register, shaking his head and pointing to the door. You giggle and shake your head, knowing this is a fight you won’t win and leave. As you reach the door, you hear Lou call your name. You turn back to face him, an eyebrow raised.

“Go into the room, Peanut.”

Deciding to head back home, it’s been hours since you left that morning and it’s well after lunch time, you make you way back to the hardware store to grab your mother’s car, noticing San’s car is gone.

You wonder if he is only open a few hours a day, but quickly dismiss the thought, deciding that it’s none of your business and continue on your way back home.

Turning into the driveway, you hear laughing from next door again, thinking that you’re glad your new neighbors are so cheerful. You hear a small voice calling your name and you turn to see Mason smiling wide and frantically waving.

You says his name with as much enthusiasm as he had said yours and start waving just as frantically. San stands in the background smiling at the two of you just standing in the middle of your yards just waving like crazy people. He steps forward with a “howdy neighbor” and you laugh and say hello.

San gives you a wink, saying that it looks like you’ll will be seeing each other a lot and you laugh and agree. Mason cuts in and asks if he and San can go have their lunch now, and San agrees, picking him up and saying goodbye to you before heading inside. You watch as they walk through their door, thinking that this man and his flirtatious nature are going to be problem.

Not entirely an unwelcome problem, but a problem regardless.

You step through you own door, calling out to your mother. You hear her voice coming from the back porch and you slip your shoes off and walk toward the back of the house. Your mother asks how your day has been, and you tell her about your time at the hardware store and lunch with Lou. She gives you a smile, telling you that she’s glad that you met with Lou, and saying that he always asks about you.

“I met the new neighbor, he also owns the hardware store.”

Your mother huffs out a laugh. “Yes, I know, dear. It is a small town after all.” You roll her eyes with a laugh. You mention San telling you that he would see if he could find a catalog with cabinets for you to look at, and your mother hums and nods, asking if you have figured out what you want to do with the kitchen. You shake your head. “San brought that up too, but I need to think about it for a bit. I’m gonna go look at the kitchen and see if something comes to me.”

You walk into the kitchen, glancing around while in thought. You do your best to envision what you want the kitchen to look like. After standing around just looking at the cabinets, it hits you. You look around, picturing what you want. You wanted dark gray cabinets with silver handles.

As you look around, the thought of making a little nook comes to your mind. Cabinets and drawers on the bottom, a counter, the area is boxed in, like a little alcove. On the very top, you envision putting potted plants. Your vision is sort of a forest-y vibe.

Smiling to yourself, you turn around and makes you way back to your mother. Before you leave the room, you make yourself a cup of coffee.

When you get back to your mother, you tell her about your idea for the kitchen and she gives you a smile and tells you that she loves it. You notice your mother getting tired and you offer her your arm and tell her she should take a nap.

She immediately disagrees, but you insist and tell her that you will make dinner and wake her up when it’s ready. Huffing, your mother relents and grabs your arm and pulls herself up. You helps her to her room and tell her to have a good nap and leave her room.

You stand outside of the door, looking at the door to your father’s study. Lou’s words float through your mind and you take a hesitant step forward. You step until you have your hand on the knob, but you quickly let go and turn around and head to your room to grab your laptop before going back downstairs.

Feeling like it’s a bit early to start on dinner, also knowing that your mother needs a nice nap, you grab yourself another cup of coffee, deciding to sit on the front porch this time. You tell yourself that it definitely isn’t with the hopes of seeing San, you just want a change.

You grab one of the wicker bucket chairs on the front porch, sitting in it with your laptop on your lap and your coffee on the small table to your left.

Opening your email, you find two more emails from Joshua. Taking a deep breath, you open the first one. You know that this is the first step in healing and moving on. The email is exactly what you expected it to be. Josh says he’s sorry and that he does love you and he wishes you would email him back.

You close out of the email, still feeling hurt, but not as bad as you had expected. Before you can open the second email, a voice calls out to you making you look up to see San.

“You’re drinking coffee this late in the afternoon?” he asks. You let a little giggle follow. “It’s never too late for coffee.” You have a teasing glint in your eye as you respond. “I think that I have to respectfully disagree.”

The two of you talk for a while, before you remember your vision for the kitchen. You tell San that you have an idea and he tilts his head and motions for you to continue.

You tell him about how you wants everything to look and he nods as you talks. After you finish, he tells you that it sounds like a really neat idea and he will look around for that catalog. You thank him and ask where Mason is. He tells you that he’s down for a nap.

“I know it’s a bit late for a nap, but I never let him sleep too long or he’ll be up all night.” You laugh and tell that him you couldn’t even imagine what it’s like to deal with a toddler that’s wide awake at three am and San laughs with you. You bite you lip and ask if his mother is watching him while he’s down. San stiffens a little, shakes his head. “No. It’s just me and Mason.” You remember you mother mentioning that he was a single father so you aren’t sure why you even asked.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. That was none of my business.” San assures you that it’s fine and that he and Mason are doing well on their own.

“It looks like it. From what little I’ve seen, you seem like a great dad.” He blushes a little and thanks you. You giggle at his sudden shyness and tell him that it’s not a problem. He checks the time on his phone.

“I better wake the little guy up.” You nod and he gives you a smile and turns to head back to his yard. You stop his movement with a call of his name and he turns to face you.

“Would you two want to join my mom and I for dinner? Think of it as a belated welcome to the neighborhood celebration.” San gives you a large smile. “I’ll ask Mason, though I’m positive he will agree. It would seem that he has already taken a liking to you.”

You giggle and tell him that you’ve taken a liking to Mason too. “If you guys decided to come, just knock on the door. It should be ready in a couple of hours.” He nods back at you and you end the conversation by telling him that you’ll make sure there’s more than coffee to drink and you open the door and step inside, San’s beautiful laughter ringing out behind you. You gently wake your mother, telling her that you have invited San and his son for dinner.

By the time dinner is ready and you take a shower, there’s a knock at the door. Since you’re already right by the door, you open it to find San and Mason smiling at you. Your eyes wander over San. 'Damn he looks good.' He's dressed casually in some jeans and a black tee while Mason is wearing sweatpants and a dinosaur shirt.

You squat down to the child's level. “Wow,” you say looking at the dinosaur on his shirt. “I love your shirt!” Mason smiles up at his dad before looking back at you. “What's your favoritest dinosaur?” you ask.

“Raptor!” he enthusiastically answers, even going as far to try to make a raptor noise. You give him a laugh. “Well, my favorite dinosaur is a Spinosaurus, but I don’t even know what they sound like!” you said, sounding impressed. “You sound like you know more about dinosaurs that I do.” Mason nods.

“I’m a dinosaur expert!”

His enthusiasm warms your heart and you stand, inviting them to come inside.

You show them the way to the kitchen. “Ma, this is San,” you say, formally introducing them. San smiles, stepping forward to shake her hand. “It's nice to officially meet you,” he says as Mason steps forward to proudly introduce himself before you could.

“And I'm Mason!”

Your mother smiles at him. “That's a lovely name, Mason. It's nice to meet you.” Mason thanks her with a smile which she returns before offering San two plates and asks him what they would like to drink.

“Just water is fine.” He makes Mason’s plate and gets him set up at the table before making his own. “Mom go ahead and sit down,” you say as you make her plate and place it front of her before you make your own.

You take the seat next to your mother, San is sitting to your other side. You all chat idly, talking about nothing in particular. San brings up the kitchen remodels and you perk up and start pointing and showing San where you wants the little alcove to go, not noticing your mother watching on fondly.

San listens before offering once again to help you, telling you that he can even draw up your idea for you to see before you starts on it. You give him a nod as your mother asks if he’s an artist and he laughs while shaking his head.

“No ma’am. Before having Mason I was in school studying to be an architect.” Your mother tells him that that is a good field. “If Y/N won’t accept your offer to help, I certainly will. If I left everything to her, this kitchen would be torn apart for months.”

Your cheeks burn, again with the blushing, telling you mother to hush with a slight slap to her shoulder. You all finish dinner, San offering to help clean up but you tell him absolutely not and that he should get Mason home since he’s falling asleep on your mother’s shoulder.

“You have a good point there,” he says while looking fondly at his son.

“I'll walk you out,” you announce before walking them to the door, San holding Mason. “Have a good night,” you say softly as San crossed the threshold. "You, too,” he says just as quietly.

“And thank you for dinner.”

“I'll have that drawing for your kitchen done soon,” he adds with a smile. You thank him and watch as they walk next door.

A few days later, you wake to your mother knocking on you door. You tell her to come in, rolling on to your side to face the door. Your mother smiles before coming to sit on the edge of your bed, running a hand through your hair. You hum in content, asking her mother what’s up.

“The rest of your things are here. The van is waiting outside. You also got a package this morning. I sat it on the table by the couch,” she says fondly as she smiles down at you.

She leaves and you quickly get dressed and brush your teeth, not wanting to keep the moving van waiting any longer. You step out of the door, greeting the man waiting by the van. He greets you back, opening the back of the van revealing a few boxes. You thank him and you start to help him unload the van.

“You need any help?”

You turn to see San standing not too far away, arms crossed as he leans on Mason’s swing set. “Yes please!”

Once all of the boxes are out of the van, you pay the driver his tip and the man leaves. San lifts a box and asks you where to take it. You momentarily get lost in admiring the way his arms flex as he grips the box before shaking you head and giving him directions to your bedroom. You take a box and follow him.

“You can just set it on the floor at the end of the bed,” you instruct and he does as you ask before you both move to get more boxes.

Once all of the boxes have been put in you room, you offer him some water and he accepts. As you makes her way to the kitchen, he tells you that he will be right back. You watch as he walks out the front door, not being able to stop yourself for look at his ass as he walks away and continue into the kitchen to get his glass of water ready.

San returns soon with a baby monitor and a piece of paper in his hands. “Mason is asleep and I should still be in range to hear him if he wakes up.” He lifts the monitor as he speaks. He hands you the piece of paper and you take it, looking a little confused.

Looking at it, it’s the design of the kitchen. You're happy that it looks exactly like what you pictured. You smile at him. “San it’s perfect! You’re really talented!” The tips of his ears turn slightly red, causing you to giggle softly.

You suddenly remember the package you mother told you about and perk up, telling San that you’ll be right back as you go to get it. You bring it back into the kitchen, setting it on the table and telling San he can sit if he wants. He joins you at the table, making sure to set his glass on a coaster.

You grab a knife and open the package carefully. Once you gets it open, you pull out her new phone. You sigh in relief, going as far as to kiss the box. San laughs from across from you.

“I haven’t had a phone for a while and I’m so glad to have one again.” He asks if you broke your or something, and you go quiet for a moment. “No, I didn’t break it. I left it with my ex boyfriend when I left him.”

“I'm so sorry,” San immediately apologizes. “I didn't mean to pry.”

You brush his apology off, telling him that it’s ok and that it’s been a little rough, but you’ll be ok.

“Do you mind if I ask what happened?” he asks and you nod.

“Joshua and I were together for two years when my dad died. I didn’t handle his death well and closed myself off,” you start to explain, San listening patiently. “And then when my mother’s health got worse, I went to his office to tell him that I would be coming back home for a little while to help get her situated,” you continue, hesitating as you reach the catalyst for your leaving.

“I found him and his assistant... together,” you continue, not noticing the way San's expression shifted. “Apparently, Josh couldn’t handle me being so down and unavailable so he found someone who was,” the last part comes out a little bitterly but you are beyond caring.

You had been fiddling with your phone the entire time you talk, trying to get it up and running. After you finish talking, you look up to see San’s jaw clenched and a serious look on his face. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. You don’t deserve that shit. You deserve a hell of a lot better than that.” You tell him that it’s ok and thank him, ending in a small cheer when you get your phone ready to go.

You sit in silence for a moment before you look up at San.

“Could I ask you something?” San looks up at you and nods.

“Where's Mason’s mom?”

You notice how San stiffens a little but he relaxes. “So, I moved from Korea to study abroad. I told you already, but I was majoring in architecture and I was very excited to start my new life here,” he starts to explain.

“I met Anora in one of my classes and we really hit it off and started dating. After a year and a half, we found out she was pregnant.” You could hear it in his voice, the way he spoke about his son with such adoration.

“I was thrilled, but Anora was far from happy. Even though she really didn’t want to have Mason, but she stayed.” You can hear the sadness in his voice. “She decided after four years that being a mother wasn’t the life she wanted and she left right before his fourth birthday, almost a year ago.”

You felt your heart break for them. San sighs and continues. “I just felt like we needed a new start so I bought the store and the house and here we are,” he finishes his story to your stunned silence.

You stay silent for a moment before apologizing. “So, how is Mason handling all of this?” Your voice is soft and a little hesitant. San makes a face before answering. “He’s handling it well. Even when Anora was around, it was still pretty much the two of us. I stayed with her, hoping I could get her to fully accept Mason, but that was useless.”

You apologize again and San tells you that it’s ok. “Honestly, I feel like we're better off.” You nod in agreement. “I think can agree with that. I said it before, but you’re doing an amazing job at being a dad. Mason is a very lucky kid.” San smiles, looking down at his hands resting on the table. “Thank you,” he says. “I really appreciates that.”

“You're welcome,” you reply and without thinking, you reach across the table to give his hand a squeeze. There’s a beat of silence before you take your hand back and San clears his throat and nods his head toward your phone.

“So, do I get to be the first person to get your new number?” You laugh and nod, taking his phone to type your number into his phone. After you exchange numbers, San pockets his device and looks up.

“I should probably get back to Mason, even though I haven’t heard a peep from the baby monitor.” You walk him to the door, thanking him for helping with the boxes.

“Really,” he starts. “It's no trouble. We're neighbors after all. And isn't that are neighbors for?” he adds with a wink.

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Over the next month or so, San helps you get what's needed for the remodel, at a discount even though yourefused, and on weekends thetwo of get to work in the kitchen while Mason plays around with your mother. Mason's presence in your lives seems to brighten her mother's days and you have become very fond of the boy yourself.

San is a complicated story. You’re also very fond of him, perhaps too fond you think sometimes, and he seems to be equally fond of you. When you aren't talking in person, you’re texting. You’ve spent every weekend for a month working on the kitchen, often times working close together.

San teaches you the basics, even though you already know them but he doesn't need to know that. He's even taught you about how to get the grooves you want in the wood on the side of the arch way of the alcove. The fact that he stood behind you, chest to you back, to show you flustered you a bit. (But we don’t really need to talk about that. Nope. No need to talk about how you could feel the hard planes of his chest against your back. Not at all.)

By the time the kitchen is finished, it's the middle December with Christmas just around the corner. You stand in the entrance of the kitchen with San, looking around at the space the two of you have created. You’re absolutely in love with it.

“San I love it. Thank you so much!” You wrap your arms around his neck in a hug, surprising him. He just stands there for a few seconds before wrapping his arms around you in return, giving you a squeeze. He slightly buries his face in your neck. “There’s no need to thank me. I really enjoyed doing this with you.” His breath on you neck makes a shiver run down your spine, but you try your best not to let it show.

You separate, slowly, and look at each other for a moment before a squeal interrupts your moment. Mason comes running into the kitchen, crashing into you and hugging your legs. You laugh as you stumble a bit and bend down to give the boy a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

You don’t see the way San's eyes shine as he watches you with his son, happy you’ve clicked so well. Mason directs his attention to San “Daddy did you ask her yet?” . San shakes his head, a slight blush on his cheeks as you quirks an eyebrow up. “So the Christmas festival is next Saturday. Would you like to come with us?” You eagerly nod your head, gaining a smile from San and a giddy squeal from his son.

Your week is filled with emails for work. Joshua still sends you emails, but you rarely open them, more often than not, completely ignoring their existence. Not because you’re still hurt, you’ve moved on, but because you genuinely do not care to know what he has to say.

Though, a particular subject line draws your attention.

An email sent the day before. “See you soon” and you quickly click the email, reading it in a slight panic. Joshua goes on about he misses you and he just wants you to talk to him and that he’ll be coming to see you that upcoming weekend, the same weekend as a date you'd set up with San.

Your first thought is to go to the diner to talk to Lou.

You quickly put your shoes on, opting to drive to get there faster. You pull in to the diner parking, rushing to get inside.

“Lou!” Your voice is louder than you meant for it to be, but you don’t pay any mind to it. You notice how they diners enjoying their food look at you, but at this moment you really don’t care. Lou comes out of the kitchen, looking a little annoyed at someone yelling in the diner. His face changes as soon as he sees you and the panicked look on your face. He quickly discards his apron, yelling into the kitchen that he'll be back soon and ushers you to your booth in the back.

He asks you what's wrong, trying to keep the worry in his voice unnoticeable. “I got an email from Joshua,” you rush to explain. “It said that he was coming here this weekend. Before you even ask, I’m not worried I’m going to go back to him. I’m over that part of my life and I have moved on from him, it's just...” You pause and Lou takes the opportunity to finish for you.

“You really like San and don’t want Joshua to ruin anything before it can really start.” You nod, knowing that coming to Lou was the right choice. “I’m going to the festival with San and Mason on Saturday.” You know that you’re wearing a massive smile, but you have no embarrassment about it. Lou smiles back and you.

“Have you told him about Joshua yet?” His question throw you off a little, even though you should have known he’d ask. “I’ve told him that Joshua is my ex and how things ended between.” Lou nods for a moment.

“And the email?”

You shake your head. “I saw the email and came straight to you.” He smiles widely and you can tell that your confession has made him happy. “Peanut, you’re a smart woman. You know what you need to do.” You nod, knowing that he’s right. He usually is, it’s why you come to him. You thank him with a hug and leave, deciding to walk to the hardware store to talk to San.

The bell dings as you walk in, and Mason yells your name and runs up to you. You smile down at him, picking him up and giving him a kiss on the cheek before asking where his dad is. He wraps one arm around your neck and points with the other, telling you that San is on the paint aisle.

You thank him with another kiss on the cheek as you set him down. You make your way to San, feeling a little nervous as you watch him look through paint swatches. “San.” You try to keep your voice from wavering, but you aren’t sure you succeed.

He turns to face you, his face breaking out in a wide smile. “I was looking at swatches, trying to decide what color would go best with the kitchen.” You can feel yourself smile, despite the anxiety flowing through your body.

“We need to talk,” you start, internally cursing yourself as you see a flash of panic cross San's face. “It's not like that!” you continue quickly. “But it is important.” San nods, searching your face, no doubt noticing how serious you look. “Okay,” he nods slowly as he leads you to his office while he calls out to Mason to tell him to go into the break room and play so he knows where he is.

“You can sit there if you want.” He points to the chair in front of his desk as he moves behind the desk, grabbing the chair there and bringing it to sit beside you, facing you. “What’s wrong?”

You take a deep breathe before speaking, trying to calm your nerves. “I was looking at my email today and when I noticed an email from Joshua.” You can see his jaw tense, but he says nothing, letting you continue. “He’s coming here this weekend.” Your voice drops in volume, almost sounding small.

San is quiet for a moment, seemingly in deep thought. When he finally speaks, his voice is quiet, matching the feel of your small voice. “Do you still love him? Are you planning to leave and go back with him?”

You feel sad that the thought even crosses his mind. You obviously haven’t been as clear showing your feelings as you thought you were. “No. I really like you, San and I don’t plan to leave. There was a time in my life when I wanted to escape this town, but I don’t want to do that anymore.”

You can see him visibly relax as he breathes put a sigh of relief and telling you that he feels the same and that you can deal with Joshua’s visit together if you wants or he can let you handle it. You don’t say anything, only thanking him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, telling him that you should head back home.

The closer it gets to Christmas, the stronger the urge to go into your father’s study gets. You talk to San about it as you text and he tells you that it's ok to still need time, but it's also ok to want to go into your father’s favorite place. He once again offers his help, telling you can be there for moral support if you needs and though you don’t tell him, you think that San is a great man and thank him.

Saturday comes quick and even though you’re anxious about Joshua’s arrival, you’re also excited about spending the evening with San and Mason. By dusk, Joshua still hasn't arrived and you hope that maybe he has changed his mind. You gets ready for the festival, deciding to wear jeans and a sweater.

A knock on the door has you almost sprinting down the stairs your thoughts swirling. You feel like a teenager waiting for her prom date. Opening the door to find San and Mason both giving you big smiles, you smile back and give them both hugs, unintentionally hugging San a little harder. “You ready?” San’s voice is light and cheerful and it makes your heart flutter. You give a nod and call out to your mother, letting her know that you’re leaving.

The festival is simple, a few decorations and booths with games and food trucks. Of course Lou has a stand with all of his best dishes and hot cocoa and coffee. The three of you stop by and you give Lou a hug, thanking him again in a whisper. He squeezes you in return, his way of telling you that you don’t need to thank him.

You grab a cup of coffee as San grabs both him and Mason a cup of cocoa each. As you reach into your wallet, preparing to pay, you notice San moving quickly to hand Lou money. Lou scoffs and tells him that there’s no way he’s letting them pay. You both try to argue, but Lou shuts you both down with his trademark eyebrow raise.

After getting your drinks, you walk around the festival a bit, stopping to play games when Mason finds one he wants to try out. By try out, he means that San has to play and try to win the toy Mason wants.

You hear your phone going off and you’re quick to grab it in case your mother needs you. You do find a text from you mom.

Mama: Honey, Joshua just came by looking for you. I didn't tell him where you were but just be on the lookout for him

Your breath catches, drawing San’s attention and you show him the message instead of speaking, not wanting to clue Mason in that there is a problem. All San does is grab your hand and gives it a tight squeeze before he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer with a kiss on the top of your head.

You walk around a bit more, stopping to get Mason a corn dog when you hear your name being called. You stiffen. You knew that voice and would recognize it anywhere.

You're brought back to reality by San giving your shoulder a squeeze, silently letting you know that he’s there if you need him. The two of you turn around while Mason is preoccupied with his food and find Joshua standing and glaring at San.

San looks unfazed, other than the tightness in his jaw. Joshua steps forward, eye San before turning to look at you.

"Y/N, can we talk?” You notice how his eyes flicker over to San once more. "In private?” he adds.

You lean further into San's side, taking a deep breath and filling your nostrils with the scent of San’s cologne, which calms you a little.

“Whatever it is, you can say it say right here.”

Joshua narrows his eyes, heaving out a sigh before speaking.

“Fine,” he says softly. “You left me no choice. Since you refuse to answer my messages, I came here to see you.” You say nothing, letting him get it all out.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, I’ll say it a million times if that’s what you want. I miss you so much. You’re all I can think about. Please let me make it up to you. I know I can do it if you’ll just let me.”

You stare at him for a moment, not saying anything. “No.” He looks taken aback and you take the opportunity to continue. “I don’t love you. I don’t hate you either. I don’t really feel anything for you. I’m happy where I am. I’m happy having San by my side.” San acknowledges you statement with a long kiss to you temple.

Joshua goes to take a step forward, only to be cut off by Lou. “I think the lady has said what she needs to say. It’s time for you to leave.” Joshua looks at you one more time, searching your face for any change of your mind before he begrudgingly leaves.

After the confrontation with Joshua, San decides that it's time for you to leave and he gathers Mason, who throws a tiny tantrum before listening to his father and taking his hand. You walk in silence for a moment, hands intertwined until San breaks the silence. “You ok?” You smile and squeezes his hand, looking into his eyes. “I’m great.”

When you get back to your house, you’ve accepted it as your home now and you’re proud to call it that, you ask San if he can help you with one more thing and he immediately agrees. You all enter the house, Mason immediately calling out to your mother.

“Nana! Where are you?” Both you and San freeze, eyes wide. This is the first time Mason has called your mother that. Your mother steps out of the kitchen, equally surprised, but she quickly schools her expression and opens her arms catching Mason in her arms as he jumps to her. You look at San, tying to gauge his reaction, only to find a soft smile on his face and he watches your mother with his son. You squeeze his hand and tilt you head toward the staircase and he follows you up the stairs.

You walk to the end of the hall, standing in front of the door of you father’s study. San kisses your temple before speaking. “Take your time, love. There’s no rush.” With one last deep breath, you turn the knob and open the door and you step inside while San waits in the opening of the door.

The room looks the same as it always has. Books are tucked neatly on the bookcase, your father’s large desk in the center of the room. You walks over to the desk, running your fingers over the top of the desk slowly.

There’s a thin layer of dust and it’s the first time you have every seen dust on the desk. Your father always kept his study perfectly clean. You look around at all of the pictures on the wall. There are pictures of your parents on their wedding day. A picture of your dad with his parents.

You notice a single frame on the desk and you carefully pick it up. It's a picture from the day you were born, your father holding you with a bright smile and tears in his eyes. Your own eyes start to teat up and you feel arms wrap around your waist from behind, San moving to prop his chin on her shoulder.

“It’s ok to cry if that’s what you need to do. I’m so proud of you for coming in here. That took a lot of strength. My strong girl.” Your stomach flips at him calling you his and you turn to kiss his check, San turning to face you at the same time and your lips meet The kiss is sweet and gentle, just barely there.

San turns to to face you completely, his hand coming up to cup you check before giving you another slow kiss as your arms wrap around him. The kiss only last a moment, Mason’s footsteps coming up the stairs making you pull apart.

He stops at the door of the study, quickly asking San if he can stay the night with Nana and San looks at you with a lustful glint in his eye. “If it’s ok with your Nana, I don’t mind.” The sound of San calling your mother Mason’s nana makes your heart skip a beat.

You follow Mason down the stairs, listening as he asks if he can stay the night. Your mother doesn’t even hesitate. “Of course you can, my little monster.” Mason laughs and hugs her legs with a squeal. She turns to you and San, immediately noticing your intertwined hands. She smiles at the two you and gives you a slight nod of her head.

San tugs on your hand gently, looking at you with both lust and care as he leads you out of the door and across the lawn to his front door. He quickly unlocks it, letting you go in first. As soon as he steps through the door, his lips are on yours and his arms are around you.

You fist his shirt, pulling him as close as you can get him. It feels like the two of you are kissing forever, like the only oxygen you need is each other’s breath. San’s hands slide down to your hips, pulling your further against him, moaning slightly when you bump into his already hardening cock.

He pulls away, eyes flickering between yours. “Do you want to go to my room?” You aren’t sure you’ve ever nodding so fast as you take his hand and follow him.

You're able to take a brief look around San’s room before his lips are back on yours. His kisses are soft, gentle as his hands slowly find your waist. He tugs you closer to him, it's obvious he can't seem to get you close enough. His hands slide down, firmly kneading your ass.

You moan against his mouth, giving him the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. He takes the chance he's been given, immediately deepening the kiss. His wet muscle dances with yours, slow and passionate. He steps forward, softly pushing you backwards until the backs of you legs hit his mattress, pushing you further back to lie flat.

He separates from you long enough for you to scoot until you're fully on his bed, him immediately climbing on top of you and connecting your lips again. One hand rests on your hip as his other cups your face. He pulls back, just far enough to speak against your lips.

“You're so pretty.” His voice is a whisper, but you still manage to hear him, and you give him a smile and peck his nose. “So are you.” He smiles, rubbing his nose against yours as his hands fall to the hem of your sweater.

“Can I?” You murder a soft ‘yes’ and he doesn't hesitate to lift it over your head. He stares at you in silence and you feel like you should be self conscious, but you aren't. You just let him admire you.

“Gorgeous.”

You aren't sure he meant for you to hear his words, so you don't say anything in return, just let out a whine, prompting him to snap out of his daze. He brings his hands up to cup your breasts over your bra, his touch firm but still soft. He looks up to your face, quirking an eyebrow up and you nod and sit up, allowing him to reach behind you and unclasp what's between him and your bare skin.

He flings the fabric over his shoulder, not even bothering to see where it lands. His hands come back to your chest, gripping you once more. San gives your nipples attention, pinching them in between his thumb and forefinger, causing you to arch your back with a soft moan. The sound of your pleasure makes him let out a moan himself, obviously enjoying that you're enjoying his actions.

Leaning down, he wraps his lips around one of your perked buds, his tongue immediately making its presence known with a flick. His hand continues to massage your other breast.

After a moment, he switches sides. “San. Please. Need you.” Your voice is in a quiet whine, as much as you enjoy what he's doing, your core throbs with need. He pulls back, releasing your nipple with a pop. His eyes are blown out with last, but his gaze is still soft and caring.

He slides his hands down your body, finding the button of your pants and flicking it open. He backs off the bed, immediately falling to his knees as he grabs your pants by the hem, slowly pulling them down.

The tension in the air is thick and you can tell that he's enjoying the teasing nature in which he undresses you. Your pants find the floor like your sweater and bra. His lips are on your ankle before you realize what is happening, slowly kissing up your leg.

He places a barely there kiss on your clothed core before kissing down your other leg, only to stick the tip of his tongue to your skin and lick his way back up to your hip. The unexpected action causes you to shiver with want, and you look down at San only to find him staring back at you with a smirk.

He grabs at your panties, continuing his slow pace in pulling them down. Part of you wishes he would hurry, but the greater part is enjoying the build up. Once your panties are off, he once again takes a moment to just look at you.

Slowly, he brings a finger to your core, sliding it from your hole up to your clit. You let out a soft moan, his groan coming not long after. “Look at that, baby. You're soaking. I've barely done anything, love. Is this all for me?” His words shoot a jolt through your body, causing your core to throb even harder.

“All for you, San. All yours.” Your words seem to spur him into action as he leans forward, his tongue making the same movement his finger had. Your moan is louder this time, his own moan right against your pussy has you bucking up into his face.

His hands find your thighs, wrapping around them to speak you open for him. He brings the tip of his tongue to circle your throbbing bud while your hand finds its way into his hair. He hums against you, his way of telling you that he approves of what you're doing and you give a slight tug. You can see his hips buck against the mattress, prompting you to give one more tug.

He dives into you, sliding his tongue up and down your pussy a few times before coming back to your clip for a brief moment before repeating. Your moans echo throughout the room as brings his finger to your entrance, sliding on in slowly. Your hips buck on their own as he pulls back out, a second finger joining as he slides back in.

His mouth is working hard against you and his fingers search for a moment before they find what he's looking for. A loud moan rips from your throat as he pushes against the spongy part inside of you. “Right there, baby?” You only manage a nod and he goes back to eating your can't, doubling his efforts as his fingers speed up. Your mind is swirling as your orgasm builds. No one has ever been able to work you up this quickly.

You're babbling now, vaguely aware of what you're saying. “Feels s'good. Please. Please.” He pulls back just enough to mumble against your core. “Come on, angel. Let go. Cum for me.” The vibrations against you coupled with his already fucked out voice causes the dam inside you to burst as you coat his fingers. He works you through your orgasm, fingers slowing down as your high fades. You look down to find him staring at you in awe. You mumble for him to climb back onto the bed and he immediately grants your wish.

Your hands move with purpose as you pull him to you, grabbing his shirt and ripping it from his body. Your breath catches as you look at the ridges and planes of his chest. He's well built, looking like a man cut from marble. “Fuck.” The words come out breathy and as you look back to his face, you can see a slight blush.

You place a soft kiss on his lips as you push him gently to lie on his back. He offers no resistance, letting you move him as you please. You spread his legs enough for you to fit in between his thighs as you bend down to kiss down his throat. He lets out a soft whine when your lips find his chest and you take the opportunity to give him a slight bite and his hips buck upwards. You can feel his hardened length against you and your core gushes with a fresh wave of wetness.

Your hands find his jeans, making quick work of getting them off of him, pulling his underdogs down with them. His cock hits his stomach and for a moment you're in awe. He's above average, but not huge. Long and thick, but you can't help but think that's it's the prettiest dick you've ever seen. His voice draws you out of your thoughts. “Baby. Please do something. I'm dying here.” You give him a slight chuckle, cupping his election with a gentle squeeze. His moan is load and oh so beautiful.

You scoot yourself down until your face meets his cock, your tongue peeking out to give his tip a kitten lick. This time he whines, obviously not able to take the slow treatment he had given you. You lick from his balls to his tip slowly, circling your tongue around the mushroom head of his cock.

Without missing a beat, your mouth engulfs his length, sliding down as far as you can take. Your hand wraps around what your mouth can't fit and you slowly start to bob your head. Just as yours had done, his hand finds your hair, giving a slight pull and you moan around him.

His hips buck again, causing his tip to hit the back of your throat and you hold back a gag. You let him slowly buck into your mouth as words tumble from his mouth. “Oh god. Fuck. So warm. Feels so good.” You pull off of his length as his thrusts get faster and he whines at the loss of contact.

You sit back up on your heels, watching the way his chest rises and falls heavily. You make eye contact as you speak, wanting to see his every reaction to your words.

“Condom?” He scrambles to his knees, reaching into the drawer of his bedside table and pull out a foil packet. He rips it open with his teeth, moving to place the rubber around himself. You stop him before he can, taking it from him and sliding it slowly down his length yourself. His groan comes from the back of his throat.

Once the condom is snug around his cock, you push him back down, climbing on top of him. You slide his cock up and down your pussy, getting him slick with your juices. On the slide back down, you push his tip into you.

Your moans come simultaneously, making a beautiful song of pleasure. His hands find your hips as you rotate them, letting your walls adjust. “Wait. Baby, give me a minute.” His eyebrows are furrowed as he pants. After a moment, he gives your hips a squeeze, letting you know that you can move.

Lifting your hips, you rise and fall back down slowly, enjoying the way he feels inside of you. You keep your pace slow, wanting to savor every moment of pleasure. The more you move the more San whines. His hands are clawing at your hips, his nails leaving little marks on your skin. He's babbling again and you clench around him.

“So fucking good. Fit me perfectly. Like you were made for me.” You lean forward, placing your lips on his as your pace increases slightly. At this angle, the tip of his cock nudges the place you need. It isn't long before your hurling towards your second orgasm, San's name repeatedly falling from your lips. With one thrust from San, your falling over the edge with a moan.

San makes quick work of flipping you over, his length never leaving your core. His pace is faster than you had expected, but his strokes hit deep. You've had no time to recover from your orgasm, but the sensitivity you're feeling only improves the way you feel. San is letting out of string of grunts as his balls hit against your ass. Your nails are digging into his back as you hold on to him.

“You're so perfect. So glad I get to have you like this. Wanted this for a while. Dreamt about it.” It's like he can't stop talking and you can't say that it bothers you. His hips start to stutter as the tension builds in your belly.

“San. I'm gonna come again. Cum with me. Please, baby. Please.”

Your words seems to have the desired effect as he delivers one last hard thrust, your name leaving his mouth in a groan as he fills the condom. Your high hits you at the perfect time, syncing with his. He falls on your body for a moment, panting heavily as you both come down.

He slowly pulls out of you with a wince, looking down to see your cunt still slightly pulsing. He gives a sweet kiss to your clit, giggling and apologizing as you whine and try to back away from him. You watch as he walks to his bathroom, coming back with a warm cloth to clean you up. He takes great care to get you well cleaned. “You want to take a shower?” You nod and make grabby hands at him and he lets a loud laugh and connects your hands to pull you up gently.

The shower is filled with soft touches and even softer kisses as you clean yourselves. Once the water is turned off and you've dried yourselves off, San offers you one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers, which you eagerly accept.

You crawl into bed, finding yourself in his arms immediately. It's quiet, but comfortable. “So. You're mine now, right?” The fact that he even has to asks makes you giggle a little. Tilting your head up to face him, you place a kiss to his jaw.

“Yeah. I'm yours.”

Christmas the next morning is spent in your mother’s house, the four of you enjoying dinner and opening presents. And finally in your life, everything feels right.

[ONE YEAR LATER]

A year flies by, bringing new challenges and experiences and you're beyond happy. You watch as Mason plays on the floor by the tree with your mother, who's helping him unwrap his presents.

“Mommy, look!”

Your heart soars at the boy calling you mom. You can feel San smiling as he stands behind you, arms around your waist. As you talk to Mason about his new toy, you don't notice the look your mother gives your boyfriend. Behind you, he smiles, slowly reaching into his pocket, trying not to draw your attention. Your mother smiles wide as she watches San pull the ring box out of his pocket slightly.

#16 days of smutmas #cultofdionysusnet #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez smut #ateez x reader #san scenarios #san imagines #san fanfiction #san fanfic #san angst #san fluff #san smut #san x reader

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seawardboundsammy · 9 days

Text

after many months of work, I reveal my magnum opus. The Sidestep Battlejacket.

pov: ortega seeing sidestep whole for the last time

Holy shit! It's finished!!!

This was my final for my costume design class and it took. so long. Weighing in around 800 pounds in faux leather and spikes, this is by far the most polished and focused battle jacket I've ever made. also noting that typically i wear big glasses! i just had to show off sidestep's eyebags (my hair is always teal though! ult fave color). The prop gun is a nerf gun covered in so much paint.

This design is based off my sidestep Arbor's suit combined with the dog themes sidestep has (eg: bite the hand). More thoughts and wips under the cut!

So this jacket has actually existed in some form since 2020. I bought this leather jacket with the intention of covering it in studs and spikes and then i petered out half way through. Then, after sitting in my closet for 4 years, i finally started back up on it.

These images were my gospel through the project. The design on the left was made a while before and then you can see in real time how i developed my ideas. I had the idea of the front side being "sidestep" and then the back side with the teeth being "retribution/vsona". like a mullet of trauma. the gun was made to match the organic flowing designs of the jacket, to fit the arboreal theme.

the painting of the teeth was a painstaking process filled with much masking tape and clean up. the arm stripes were free handed in a mad dash to the finish. I used Angelus Leather Paints (which i bought WAY too much of, a little goes miles also its so good not sponsored its just good paint) and every section got two coats of white and two coats of teal. The only exception was the orange which is much more transparent which took more coats and hand cramping with those letters. (which btw! no stencil! just moving my brush around all silly style).

i really wanted a prop to make the jacket into something that actually feel like a cosplay, so i hunted down the most sci-blaster nerf gun i could find on amazon and threw gallons of paint at it. the experienced among you may note that nothing wants to stick to that smooth of plastic, but with a solid sanding and angelus acrylic hardener i made it work. originally there were more stripes but it looked busy. there were also going to be two charms for charge and anathema but i um. forgor.

unsanded vs sanded (and some acetone to remove paint) vs final

the hood! good god that hood. that was ripped off an old hoodie and then i found a shirt at a thrift store that just happened to match the color perfectly. its. attached. if you know anything about sewing, please look away from this evil seam. the purple is just to keep it from fraying btw, the actual connection to the jacket it with a much thinner thread in big stitches as to not weaken the faux leather too much. also you can see where i was testing the paint lol.

if you read to here, thank you!! im so proud of this thing and i cant wait to wear it everywhere (when the weather allows.) have a sleepy steppy as a treat for sticking around

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stellamancer · 2 months

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heel (gojo x reader???)

notes: um. idk what i should say. though i am not hating on feet people!! i am feet people!! if you want a non foot version of this feel free to read my other fic empty threat: also post spar with gojo shenanigans (even reused a line to connect the two lmao). part of the infinite loop! fic verse.

ageless blogs and minors do not interact

contains: gn!reader (no gendered language is used) gojo, feet (or what i like to call the steppy)??, dubcon?? (just in case), sexual implications, the use of the words dick and cock, no this isn't smut

wc: 812

You wish you knew how you ended up in this situation.

It all started with you agreeing to spar with Gojo and thinking back now, that was your first mistake. Training with him has been odd lately, though you can’t quite put your finger on why, but one minute the two of you were engaged in hand to hand combat and now he’s laying on the floor with your foot pressed firmly against his crotch.

You don't even know how it got there in the first place.

“Well?” he drawls, that stupid amused tone of his grating on your nerves as he waits for your next move.

Idly, you think it’d be nice if you could end his family line here and now by stomping down hard enough but you know that that’s just wishful thinking on your part.

Should you just back off then? Fight’s over; you’ve won, but only because Gojo let you. Honestly speaking, that fact burns you, keeps your foot in place despite your attempts to rationalize it with the notion that a win’s a win. If he were a curse, you wouldn’t care about it being an easy win.

But he’s not; he’s Satoru Gojo and there’s something off about all this.

“Enjoying the view?” Gojo asks, yanking you from your thoughts. You stare down at him, scowling, but he remains unfazed as usual. “Not that I can blame you since—”

Your body reacts instantly in annoyance, your foot jerking down, digging into his dick and, for a split second, you think that it’s the surprise of it that causes him to cut off mid-sentence.

Except for the fact that he moans.

He fucking moans.

You’ve always thought, always known that Satoru Gojo is an absolute freak but you’d never really given much thought to it.

If you could, you’d keep it that way— the last thing you want is to be giving him more mental real estate than he deserves.

This is way too much for you right now.

“Ah, so you’re into that, are you?” Gojo’s voice sounds way too entertained, way too pleased for someone who just had someone grind their heel into his crotch. “Somehow, I’m not surprised.”

Instinct bids you to crush his cock beneath your foot because normally guys find that to be pretty painful, but you have to remind yourself that Gojo is far from normal. He might actually be into it. So instead, you try to pull your foot away, to get away from him as fast as possible, but try as you might, your foot doesn’t move, as if it’s being held in place by some invisible force.

You’re mildly horrified when you realize that it is and this, you think, has the be the most disturbing use of the Limitless technique in all of history. The realization causes your self-control to slip and your foot presses even harder against him.

Gojo moans again, louder this time and you can’t ignore the slight pressure of what you fear to be a growing boner pushing against the sole of your shoe.

Nor can you ignore the electric prickle running up and down the length of your spine. What the heck? When it starts to settle in the pit of your stomach you realize what it is.

You need to get away from Gojo.

Now.

You yank your foot away from him and luckily, luckily, he releases his technique and you’re free of him. Like a frightened creature, you back away and refuse to look Gojo in the eye.

“...get up,” you say after a second of absolute silence. You hear the ruffle of clothes as he rises to his feet and slowly, carefully, you peer at him from the corner of your eye. “Don’t do that again.”

Gojo’s expression is unreadable. Figures. But who knows, maybe, for once in his life, he’ll actually listen.

Unfortunately, your hopes are dashed the moment he opens his mouth. “Why? You looked like you were enjoying yourself.”

You are horrified. What kind of face were you making? There’s no way. He has to be lying, saying what he wants for the sake of his own entertainment. You couldn't have been into it! You were mortified, horrified by all of it, but yet you still managed get tu—

Before that last thought can fully form itself in your mind you shake your head violently as if that will rid you of it.

Gojo laughs lighthearted and amused as always, “Okay, okay, if you say so.”

He doesn’t believe you, but he’s always been delusional. You glare at Gojo but he ignores it, and stretches.

“Let me know if you change your mind though,” he says casually. “I think it could be fun.”

“Yeah right,” you huff, ignoring how he laughs, ignoring how the tiniest voice in the back of your mind thinks that maybe, just maybe he’s got a point.

Satoru Gojo’s definitely a freak, but maybe you are too.

is gojo actually into getting his dick stepped on or was he just fucking around and you were just finding out? you decide.

#gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #jjk x reader #gojo x you #satoru gojo x you #nsft #tw feet #cw feet #infinite loop!verse

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cuuno-moved · 2 years

Text

The Aro Team Rancher fic

(1748 words, no tws that i can think of)

It was, admittedly, very hard to feel guilty around Tango.

He was so forgiving, so casual about everything. Every time Jimmy messed up, every time he broke a tool or accidentally killed an animal, every time he thought he'd blown it for sure, Tango would just shrug it off, grin that needle-sharp grin at him and tell him it was alright, everyone made mistakes.

It was hard to feel guilty around Tango, but not impossible.

And Jimmy was nothing if not a guilty man.

First of all, he felt bad that Tango was stuck with him, instead of anyone else. He had been so close with Impulse and Bdubs in the past, and he was good friends with both Grian and Scar. Surely one of them would have made a better soulmate.

Besides, Jimmy had the curse hanging over his head at all times: he was the first to die, every time, and Tango didn't deserve that. He deserved a winning chance, not to be tied to the canary in the coal mine, farming cows in an ugly dirt hut. He had to be bitter, even if he was too nice to say it.

Worst of all, even if you ignored the curse, even if you pretended that they had a shot at winning, there was the fact that Jimmy- although he hated himself for it- just didn't like Tango.

He "liked" him, sure: the older man was kind and warm, and when they cuddled at night, Tango let him steal the blankets, but he didn't like him in the right way. He didn't love him.

He knew what love looked like, he'd seen Joel with Lizzie, he knew the gentle looks and soft touches that came with it, but he didn't know if he even wanted… that. He didn't know if he wanted someone to love him, knowing that if he messed up, they could leave him so easily. Or, worse, if they stayed, and he lost interest or realized he never had any to begin with, what then? Would he have to tell them he was wrong, that his love had been fake, conditional, wrong?

Tango was his soulmate, they were supposed to be perfect for each other but, truthfully, Jimmy wasn't sure they were.

He thought, once or twice, about the concept of dating Tango, maybe even marrying him, just to see how it sat with him, and both times, he was left with a bitter taste in his mouth.

He'd get sick of his voice first, he thought. The strange buoyant cadence with which the fairy spoke was calming, usually, but at some point, in the grand scheme of forever, it'd get old.

He wasn't sure what Tango thought of their relationship.

He hadn't said anything to Jimmy about it, but… they were soulmates. Surely, he expected romance. Impulse and Bdubs, Tango’s closest friends, were married already, only days in, and Tango spent more than enough time at their place to no doubt get ideas about what a soul bond should or shouldn’t be. He'd also called Jimmy "babe" a few times, never in a conspicuous way, always just mid-sentence, but that was a romantic thing, so…

Jimmy had to do something.

He had to tell Tango, had to inform him that he didn’t want to be with him like that, because he was broken, and wrong, and didn’t love correctly.

But he wasn't sure how to do that.

They were soulmates, after all.

They were supposed to love each other.

They had to.

So he kept his mouth shut.

They were working on the house when it finally came up. The door wouldn't hang straight no matter how Tango tried, so he asked Jimmy to come take a look.

"Here, look here," Tango ran a long, thin finger over the top of the door frame. "Look at the gap. I don't know how to fix that."

"Uh," Jimmy said, trying his absolute best to remember how Scott had fixed it, back in Third Life. "I think… I don't know…"

Tango looked at him, his yellow eyes glittering unknowably for a moment. Jimmy braced himself for the insult, the cruel words, but then he shrugged.

“Ah well, damn it,” The older man chuckled, shrugging a shoulder casually. “I’ll message Impulse, see if he can come look at it. No harm, no foul.”

“Right,” Jimmy said, and then, weakly. “Sorry.”

“For what?” Tango huffed, stepping down from the chair he was balanced on and dragging it back to the crooked table. “I didn’t know either.”

“So maybe we’re both idiots,” Jimmy muttered, halfheartedly rapping his knuckles against the top of the door frame. “Good for us.”

Tango’s face screwed up at that. “Jim, babe, don’t say that.”

“Sorry,” Jimmy said, again, watching him deposit a handful of scrap wood in a chest. “Why do you keep calling me that?”

“Calling you… what? Jim?”

“No, babe. Why do you call me babe?”

“Uhhh,” Tango made a face, measuring out a handful of seeds from a bag. “Would you rather I not?”

“...Yeah,” Jimmy said. That was only the tip of the iceberg of his issues, but that was enough to warn the ship. “Yeah, it’s… not my favorite.”

“Okay, I’ll stop, then,” Tango said, putting the sack of seeds back, standing up again. He stood there for a second, just looking at Jimmy, before shrugging. “Is that it? Anything else?”

“No,” Jimmy stepped aside, expecting him to walk out, but he didn’t. “That’s all.”

“You know,” Tango said, narrowing his eyes at Jimmy in thought. “You know, we’re soulmates, we’re stuck together from here on out, if you have anything else, it’s better to say it than to keep it inside.”

“I know, I know, I just-” Jimmy hummed in frustration, glaring at the wall. “I’m not good at explaining things.”

“That’s alright, I’m usually pretty good at understanding,” Tango said, setting the handful of seeds on the table. “What’s up?”

“...You know how Scott and I were married, yeah?”

“Yeah?”

Jimmy huffed, annoyed with himself now. This wasn’t so hard to say in his head, didn’t feel so catastrophically important. “I didn’t… I didn’t want to be married to him. He kind of… I don’t know, he took things too far, and I didn’t know how to tell him to stop.”

“Oh.” Tango said, his jaw tight.

“Not- not like that,” Jimmy said, quickly. “Not like that, just… and I don’t blame him, it was really my fault, but, uh…”

“Uh-huh,” Tango hummed, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Are you… okay?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine, but, um,” Jimmy hissed out a nervous breath. “Uh, I figured that… since we’re soulmates… and since Impulse and Bdubs have already gotten married…”

Tango’s eyes widened abruptly, his mouth working for a few moments before he seemed to remember how to talk. “Are you- are you asking me to marry you-?”

“No! No, no, no, no, uh, the opposite, actually,” Jimmy said, and then, weakly. “I’m asking you… not to marry me?”

Tango blinked, before shaking his head and laughing in confusion. “Alright, you’ve lost me.”

“I want… I don’t want…” Jimmy whimpered, frustrated. His wings were pressed between his sweaty back and the wall and he took a moment to readjust them, and try to think of a way to phrase it. “There’s something wrong with me.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, like, uh. You know how people… fall in love? Like, they meet someone they like, and they spend time together, and as time goes on, they fall more and more in love with them?”

“Let me guess, you don’t?” Tango asked, something… almost hopeful in his voice.

“No, I do. I mean, I get crushes, but then they almost always… go away? Or I realize I don’t like being in a relationship at all, or I get too stressed out over it. That’s what happened with Scott, I did really like him, but once we were married, I felt… I don’t know, I felt like whatever stupid crush I had on him wasn’t… worth it?”

“...So, you get crushes, but you don't like dating?” Tango asked, leaning on the table, rubbing his chin. “Huh.”

“...Sorry,” Jimmy said, softly. “I know you… I don’t know, you probably wanted a romantic relationship.”

“Huh?” Tango looked up at him, blinking absently, before his eyebrows suddenly raised as soon as he realized what the other man had said. “What gave you that idea?”

“I don’t know, that’s what soulmates are supposed to be, yeah? Like, the person you’re supposed to love forever?”

“Uh, no?” Tango frowned. “I mean, I was kinda… I might have been dozing off when Grian explained it, but I think it’s just someone who you, y’know, click with. Sometimes that’s a romantic thing, sometimes it’s a platonic thing.”

“So you don’t… you don’t want me to love you?”

The fairy laughed at that, but not a mean laugh. “No! I’m gonna be honest, I… I don’t really know if I’m even capable of loving people like that. Romance has never actually… appealed to me? Like, if you want to cuddle someone, just get a best friend?” He shrugged a shoulder. “I dunno, but I don’t really get the hype.”

“Have you never had a crush on someone?” Jimmy asked, surprised. “Ever?”

“Not really,” Tango shook his head. “Like, my buddy Zedaph, back home? I thought I had a crush on him because he made me really happy and I liked spending time with him, but when we tried dating it just ended up being… like… the exact same thing as when we were friends? So we broke up, and nothing changed. Like, there’s no difference between romantic interest and platonic interest to me.”

“Huh,” Jimmy tilted his head curiously. “That’s… an interesting way to think about it.”

“Yeah, so,” Tango paused, before laughing. “So, it’s probably good that you don’t want to date because I would have absolutely panicked and said yes and then we’d both be miserable.”

Jimmy giggled almost hysterically at that, pressing his cold hands to his forehead in relief. “Oh my god, you have no idea how happy I am to hear that you don’t like me.”

“Oh, it’s mutual,” Tango laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, man, is it mutual.”

“In that case,” Jimmy rubbed his face one more time, still chuckling quietly. “You may call me babe.”

“Thank you,” Tango nodded at him, his needle-like teeth poking through his lips. “Thank you, I will.”

#double life spoilers #double life #tangotek #jimmy solidarity #dave's author arc

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arece · 1 year

Note

hii love!

could i request john x reader (platonic ofc) within the perfect storyline that you created?

ive always wondered what happened to aurelio when the reader thought he abandoned her while he was just trying to protect her. maybe they have met after john died and he apologized and maybe reader forgives him??? i just need to know he is not the bad guy 😭

thank youu

It'll All Work Out

♤ Summary: Reader gets closure she never knew she needed from Aurelio. The series

♤ a/n: You're right my dear anon, he was never the bad guy. Reader was just a baby who needed someone to blame at the time. This one's really short but it has a bittersweet tone that I love and I hope you enjoy it too!

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

You ended up staying in Berlin for three months, learning all that you could from those in the Ruska Roma about John’s childhood. You decided that it was time to go back when you realized the first year death anniversary was fast approaching.

Though you could use the comfort of your new family, you’d never forgive yourself if you weren’t with him on the day. You wanted to do something special for him, some part of you hoping he sees your gift from wherever he is.

You took Dog’s leash off, letting her rub against his headstone as you reached for the packet in your pocket. You sprinkled the wildflower seeds around his and Helen’s graves, giving them something that would come back each year, never leaving them.

You were moving the knife he gifted you back into place when you heard steps behind you, quick to turn you held it threateningly before becoming shocked at the person you never expected to see in front of you.

“Aurelio?” You faltered before dropping the knife completely. The man gave an awkward, unsure smile, “look at you, not so little anymore.” You stood from the ground, calming Dog with a pet as she watched him anxiously.

“That’s what seven years does.” He winced at your blunt tone and you felt bad, not intending for him to feel guilty. By now you’ve grown to realize why he had sent you away. “Look I-”

“It’s okay, Aurelio. I don’t blame you, you saved my life by bringing him to me.” It seemed he’d been carrying the guilt for a while by the way he slightly got choked up. He cleared his throat, stepping beside you to look at his grave.

“Loving father, huh?” For once the tears that stung at your eyes weren’t from a place of pain, rather one of remembrance, something you thought you had surely lost three months prior. “He was the best one I could’ve ever asked for,” you turned towards him, “I was too lost before to thank you.”

“I’m glad you’re okay.” The sarcastic snort you let out had him raising an eyebrow, “I was a mess.” You explained to him your journey with grief for the past year, struggling to move on and almost falling back into the underworld, your panic with forgetting, your arguments with Caine and Winston.

“Why do you have to find someone to blame?” It startled you slightly, how easily he revealed to you another direction your grief was driving you to. If it wasn’t yourself, it was Winston or Caine. Why did you need someone to put at fault?

“I don’t want to be angry at him.” Aurelio sighed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, still seeing you as that feisty fourteen year old who had a talent for stealing. “You’re too hard on yourself.”

For the first time you allowed yourself to seek comfort from somebody that wasn’t John, from the man who had also chosen to let you go to protect you, a recurring theme it seems. “You seem different. Like him.” The passive comment brought a smile to your face, reminding you how Katia told you he lived on through you. You were glad that someone saw it too.

“Do you have any regrets?” He asked. You thought back to all the pain, loneliness, confusion, grief. But you also thought back to when you were loved. That made it all worth it ten times over, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

You called Dog over to put her back on her leash, inviting Aurelio out for a memorial lunch for John. He agreed, stepping back to allow you room for your goodbyes. You leaned forward, softly kissing his grave, “I’m doing better now.”

With a parting touch you left feeling more fulfilled after gaining closure, healing a wound that had added to your suffering, one that now left a scar, a memory.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @tamnight @hesvoid34 @scarletmeii @romanreignsluver1 @wi1steria @not-a-big-slay @howlerwolfmax @mizzy-pop @sarapaprikas-blog @angrykitsune01

#john wick father figure #platonic #john wick #john wick x fem!reader #john wick x you #john wick x reader #fanfic #keanu reeves x reader #fem reader #keanu reeves #arece drabbles #john wick one shot #john wick imagine #john wick chapter 4 #john wick 4 spoilers #keanu reeves one shot #keanu reeves imagine

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maxverstepponme · 1 year

Note

Kelly and her friend martha at louis vuitton show

https://instagram.com/stories/marthagraeff/3051998366607615018?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

I don’t want to sound mean, but this look is not it and I’m starting to think that the people who style her, hate her guts. This is literally what my grandma wore for Christmas.

I don’t know if it’s the lighting -so we have to wait for another pic- but this color doesn’t suit her at all. The green however, suits her a lot. She already has green eyes so it will make them look greener, and brunettes often look really good in green. Just look:

(Tried to put her in a similar color to the coat her friend is wearing lol)

I’m personally not a big fan of the jacket, but as you can see, she looks WAY better. Just imagine this being a suit instead of a jacket. She would’ve looked great.

If anyone wants more fashion posts let me know 👀

#steppy thoughts

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winchesterwild78 · 1 month

Text

Chance Meeting pt 19

Master list

18+ Minors DO NOT interact

Please be kind and all mistakes are my own. All work is mine. Please don’t take or copy it.

Warnings: Angst, heart break, physical assault, SMUT

A/N: This chapter is another ride. Stay with it. I promise happiness is on the way. It’s also a bit of a roller coaster. I haven’t mentioned the kids names or his ex for a reason. This is fiction and I don’t want any disrespect towards Jensen’s family. I adore him and this is just fiction. However, because he’s older it made sense for him to be divorced and with children. I edited this quickly, so please overlook any errors.

———————————————————————

*Time Jump 5 Days*

You sat beside Jensen nervously with your leg bouncing. Jensen placed his hand on your leg trying to calm you down. You looked at him and he gave you a soft smile. His attorney was looking over some things and the three of you were trying to figure out how to deal with the current situation with Ashley and the baby. “So Jensen, you said you didn’t sleep with her but you did wake up in bed with her, right” his attorney asked. You felt sick to your stomach thinking about it. Jensen looked over at you and then said “yes” softly. “Okay, so we need to petition for a DNA test to see if the baby is yours. I believe we can push to have an amniocentesis done and DNA extracted that way. We should have the results soon” he said typing away.

You tensed up and Jensen felt it. He looked over at you and you were fighting tears back. “You okay baby” Jensen asked leaning over. You shook your head no. You stood, cleared your throat and excused yourself. You went to the bathroom and went into a stall. You covered your mouth and let out a sob. The idea of this child being his broke your heart. You knew if he did sleep with her it was before you met, but it still hurt. Even though he said he didn’t remember it, it still hurt. You tried to compose yourself but it took a few minutes. Your cell phone went off, it was a text from Jensen.

J: you sure you’re okay baby. We can leave if you want to.

Me: No, I’m fine. I just needed a minute. You keep talking. I’ll be back soon.

J: Okay. I love you. ❤️

You let out a soft sob

Me: I love you too, Jensen. So much.

You finally got yourself together and walked to the sink. You heard the bathroom door open and a woman say hello. You didn’t look up but said hello back. You took some paper towels and wet them, washing your face.

The woman walked up to the sink and stood there for a minute. You started to walk away and she said “hello y/n” and you spun on your heels. You looked at her and knew it was Ashley. “Are you enjoying your time with my future husband” she said as she stepped closer to you. “I saw his cute little post. Isn’t that sweet. He felt guilty and asked you to marry him. Don’t worry once he realizes he wants to be with me and our baby you will be yesterday’s news.” She said as she stepped even closer to you.

You took a step back. You saw her pregnant belly and your heart broke a little more. She really is pregnant you thought to yourself. “Jensen doesn’t love you and if that baby is his then he will step up, but as far as Jensen and I we are solid and nothing is going to change that. We are getting married and there is nothing you can do about it.” You said as you walked towards the door. Just as your hand was on the handle you felt something hard hit you and your head hurt. Then everything went black.

You woke up to the sounds of steady beeping. You felt a hand on yours and your head hurt really bad. Your eyes fluttered open and you saw Jensen sitting beside you. “Hey babe” you said in a weak voice. Jensen’s eyes looked over at you and went wide. “Oh my god, y/n. You’re awake. Let me get the doctor” he said standing up. Before you could say anything else he was out the door. You waited until Jensen returned with a doctor and a nurse. “Hello Miss Y/L/N, I’m Dr Roberts. How are you feeling” the middle aged man said stepping towards you. “I’m okay. My head hurts bad and I’m really tired” you said. The doctor took some vitals and the nurse checked your IV and drew some blood.

“Well you took quite a bump on the head. I’d be surprised if it didn’t hurt. You’ve got a concussion and a big knot on your head. I want to keep you another night and we will see how you’re doing tomorrow.” The doctor said before giving you a soft smile. “Wait, how long have I bet out” you asked. “Almost 4 days” Jensen said. You looked at him with wide eyes. You whispered “oh wow”.

The doctor and the nurse left and Jensen took your hand. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “Jensen, have you slept” you asked him rubbing his hand. “Not really, I couldn’t leave your side. I’m so sorry this happened to you” Jensen said with tears in his eyes. “It’s not your fault, Jensen.” You said looking at him. “Please tell me she’s been arrested or something. I don’t even know what happened for sure. I just know she was in the bathroom and we had a little back and forth about you and the next thing I know I’m waking up here. What the hell did she hit me with” you asked him.

Jensen’s face dropped and he whispered out “a metal pipe”. Well that explains why I have a headache you thought. “Was Ashley caught” you asked. He shook his head no. “I’m so sorry baby. When you were gone for as long as you were and not responding to my texts we went to the bathroom and found you on the floor in a puddle of blood. I was terrified I lost you. There is a warrant out for her. They lifted her prints off the pipe and there is surveillance footage showing her entering and exiting the bathroom. You and her were the only ones on the video going into the bathroom. I’ve called Clif and he’s gonna hang around for a while until we can make sure you’re safe. He said hugging you.

“Jensen how can this woman do this? If you broke it off why is she still so convinced you’re hers and the baby is too.” You asked choking back tears. “She’s just obsessed and needs professional help. If the baby is mine we will figure it out. Until then I want you to rest. Don’t stress and don’t think about her or the baby” he said kissing your head.

Your head was spinning with all the thoughts of Ashley, the attack, Jensen possibly being the father of the baby, how his kids would react to a new baby, if you’re still going to get married if the baby is his. Ugh! Your head wouldn’t stop. The only sound in the room was the steady beeping of the machine. You could feel the tension and you just wanted to cry. You pushed the call button and the nurse came in. “Yes ma’am, how can I help you” she said with a soft smile. “Um my head really hurts is there anything I can take for it” you asked not looking at Jensen. “Yeah, I’ll go grab it and be right back” she said and she left.

Jensen looked at you and said “baby, everything is going to be okay. I promise” he kissed your hand. The nurse came back and you took some medicine. When she left you looked at Jensen and said “you can’t promise that. I thought I would have been safe in an attorney’s office, but somehow I was attacked. I love you, but I’m scared. She won’t stop until I’m out of the picture.” You said as the tears broke loose. He reached for you but you turned over. Sobbing you asked him to leave. You wanted nothing more than for him to stay, but your heart was breaking and you were scared for you and anyone who loved him. You loved him so much but how could you compete with the baby if it’s his. You would never make him choose between you and his children. He’s an amazing father and he would be to this child. If you’re in the picture she might not let him see the baby or she would stop at nothing to drive a wedge between you two. Or worse, she might get you out of the picture permanently.

You heard the door shut and you just cried. The medicine finally kicked in and you fell asleep. When you woke up it was dark out. There was a soft light coming in from under the door and the television was on. You rolled over and reached for the light. Your heart was hoping Jensen would be there when you woke up but you knew he would give you space.

You grabbed your phone to send him a text. Picking up your phone you noticed you had a few missed texts. A few were people texting to check on, a few were from Jensen, and then there was two that made your blood run cold. It was Ashley.

Ashley: I told you he was mine. That was just a taste of what I’m going to do if you don’t leave him

Ashley: *picture* (it was a picture of Jensen leaving the hospital. He looked like he was crying.) Why is he so upset. Maybe I’ll follow him and make it all better. I can’t wait to feel his arms around me again.

You felt sick. The picture of Jensen had to have been taken after you told him to leave.

You: Jens, baby I’m sorry. Please call me when you get this. I love you.

You looked at the time. It was a little after 11pm. He shouldn’t be asleep. You waited for a text or phone call. Nothing. You started to get worried. You sent another text.

Me: Babe, please answer me. You don’t have to call me but please just tell me you’re okay. I got another text from her and I’m scared for you.

Still nothing. You tried to call but he didn’t answer. You texted Gen and Jared and asked one of them to call you. Gen called you right away. “Y/N is everything okay” she asked. “No, I got a threatening text from Ashley and Jensen isn’t answering my texts or calls. I’m really worried.” You started crying. “I told him to leave Gen. I’m so scared someone is going to get hurt because of my relationship with him. I was trying to keep him safe.” You said through sobs. Jared grabbed his keys and took off towards your’s and Jensen’s house. Gen told you she’d stay on the phone with you until we heard back from Jared.

You talked to her about your fears and she did her best to calm you down. “I’m sure he’s okay, y/n. When he spilt with his ex we found him passed out cold many nights. I’m sure that is what’s going on.” She said reassuring you. About 20 minutes later you heard Jared in the background. Gen told you Jensen was fine and Jared brought him back to their house. He had been drinking but he wasn’t passed out he just didn’t take his phone outside with him.

You finally let out the breath you had been holding. “Okay. Thank you, Gen. Please tell Jared thank you too, and tell Jensen I love him and I will talk to him tomorrow.” You said She told Jensen you said you loved him and you heard him giggle and say “hey guys I’m gonna marry her. Shhh don’t tell her” You smiled and told Gen thank you again and hung up.

At least he was safe and you could rest a little easier. Your mind kept playing what he said over and over again. He wanted YOU and he wanted to marry you. He LOVED you, not her. Even if the baby was his you two would figure it out. You decided she was not going to win. Jensen loved you, you loved him and the two of you were going to get married. He had room in his heart for you and all of his children. You two were going to be fine.

The next morning when you woke up Jensen was sitting beside you. As soon as you saw him you let out a sob. “I’m so sorry Jensen. I was scared and thought I was protecting everyone. I know we are better together and we will figure this out. I love you so much.” Jensen stood up and wrapped his arms around you. Kissing the top of your head trying to calm you down. “I know baby. I was hurt but I know why you did it. I’m sorry you got hurt because of me. I love you and I can’t wait to marry you. We will tackle whatever comes our way together.” Then he kissed your lips.

A few minutes later the doctor came in and said you were good to go home but you needed to rest and take care of yourself. Since you have a concussion there were certain things you couldn’t do according to the paper. Jensen looked over at you and looked at the doctor. “I’ll make sure she’s taken care of Doc. So what about sex, can she have sex” Jensen asked smirking at you. You turned red. The doctor chuckled and said yes as long as there weren’t any acrobatics involved. Jensen said “well, I guess I can resist acrobatics for now”. You playfully slapped hit arm and he kissed you.

The doctor left and Jensen helped you get up and get dressed. Once you were ready he helped you out of the hospital and into his car. When he got in the drivers seat he took your hand and kissed it. “I’m so glad you’re okay baby and you’re coming home. We’ve missed you so much.” Jensen said looking at you.

“Oh Jens, I’ve missed all of you too. How are the kids doing” you asked. “They are okay. They’ve missed you and can’t wait to see you. We told them that you got hurt by a bad person but were going to be okay. Little man was really upset. He cried for almost an hour. It was heartbreaking but in a weird way made my heart melt to see how much he loves you.” Jensen said. “Oh poor little guy. I hope he knows how much I love him too. I love all of you very much.” You said giving a soft smile to him.

When you finally arrived home Jensen helped you into the house. You went upstairs to o your room and decided to take a shower. Jensen was walking in your shared room and saw you getting undressed. “Need any help sweetheart” he asked with a grin. “I don’t know Mr Ackles. Are you talking about my clothes or something else” you said with a smirk and a wink. Jensen growled and attacked your lips.

You got undressed and so did Jensen. He helped you in the shower and he stepped in. You leaned back standing under the falling water. Jensen moved in close and put his arms around you. You missed his touch. You missed his lips, and everything about him. He kissed your lips and started kissing a line across your cheek, down your jaw, onto your neck. A shiver ran through your body at the touch of his lips. He kissed down to your breasts and one of his hands cupped the breast not currently being teased by his tongue. You moaned and called his name.

Your hands were running over his body and you found your way to his hardening cock. When you took it in your hand Jensen moaned.

Jensen spun you around and gently pinned you to the wall. His hand finding your folds and running in between your folds. His hand was met with a dripping wet pussy. “Damn baby you’re ready for me” he said into your mouth as his lips ghosted over yours. You moaned and nodded your head yes. He started to rub your clit and as he rubbed his fingers pushed inside. You gasped and moaned as you felt your core tightening and your release building. You knew it wouldn’t take long because it had been awhile since he touched you. He could feel you getting closer and helped push you over the edge. As you came he crashed his lips to yours helping you ride out your release.

Jensen turned off the water and grabbed the towels. You both dried off quickly and he led you to the bed. He gently laid you down and positioned himself between your legs. “You okay with this sweetheart” he asked leaning down to kiss you. You nodded your head. He took his length in his hand and lined himself up. He pushed in slowly letting you get used to his size. You gripped his biceps and moved your hips a little. His size and girth took your breath away. It was a pain and pleasure you craved. You looked at him and said “move baby”. He nodded and with one thrust he bottomed out. You gasped as he set a steady pace.

You knew he wasn’t going to last as long as he normally did because it had been awhile for him too. You wrapped your legs around him and pulled him closer. He leaned down capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You could feel his thrusts getting sloppier and you knew he was close. “Cum for me Jensen” you whispered into his ear. That was all it took before he was coating your walls with his warm seed. As he softened he kissed you and got up to get a washcloth to clean you up. He returned and cleaned you gently and once he was clean he crawled in bed with you.

He put his arms around you and pulled you close. “I’ve missed this baby, and I’ve missed you. I’m so glad you’re safe and home” Jensen said kissing you gently. You smiled and snuggled in his arms. “I’ve missed this too and I’m glad I’m home. I love you, Jensen” you said kissing him. “I love you too, y/n. Now, one last thing.” He said sitting up. He opened the bedside table and pulled out something. Tears filled your eyes when you saw it. “I had to bring this home when you were in the hospital. Every night I would hold it and pray you would get to have it again. I’m thankful I can give it back to you.” Jensen took your hand and slid your engagement ring back on your finger. A tear slipped down your face as you looked at it. You were glad to have it back, but you were more glad to be back in Jensen’s arms.

Forever tags: @nescaveckdaily @nescaveckwriter @kr804573 @jensengirl83 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373

#jensen ackles x plus size reader #supernatural convention #jensen ackles #chance meeting #jensen ackles smut #so damn sexy #jensen ackles x reader #jackles #hes gorgeous

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flock-talk · 7 months

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how did I not know until, like, last week that you have a YOUTUBE CHANNEL??? I thought you were just a cool tumblr account lol

😂 probably because I hate self-promotion so I avoid mentioning it here unless I have a very specific video that answers someone's question

on that note though Ive been animating a new intro and Im at that stage where Ive been staring at it for so long that it just looks bad to me so if y'all want to help out and provide feedback Id appreciate it very much! (sound on for silly little toto steppy sounds)

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onenicebugperday · 1 year

Photo

@loracarol submitted: No ID needed, I just caught a pic of my T. vagans sticking her foot in her waterdish and I thought it was cute. ❤️

Ohhhh wet steppy. I love her :)

#bugs #spider #arachnids #submission #tarantula #mexican red rump tarantula

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gretavangroupie · 1 year

Text

Burn (Chapter 3)

Word count: 6.6k+

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, smut, fluff.

SAM POV

The door slammed shut behind her so loud, that the windows rattled and you are pretty sure you felt your heart crack from the sheer force.

How did you manage to fuck this up again?

You find yourself rushing to the door to go after her, but stop yourself as you see her stepping into the Uber. You watch her from the window as she drives away, and with her a piece of something you’ve been chasing after for years. Never quite able to put your finger on it, but now finally found. Gone just as quickly. Throwing the paper cup of coffee into the kitchen sink, you hover over it staring into the stainless, a blurry image of yourself reflecting back through the puddles of brown liquid.

“My Sammy…”

You run your hands through your hair and turn on the sink, washing away the evidence of your outburst. You look up at the plants on the window sill, and you see a few brown leaves. As you gently pluck them away as you hear the bedroom door open.

“Did you tell her? Is she gone?” Morgan asks.

A pang of resentment washes through your chest as you turn to face her.

“You heard the door slam Morgan, don't ask questions you already know the answer to. Also, what the hell was that little show you just put on? You have never made such a scene since we agreed to this, and I know if the roles were reversed you would be pissed at me. So what the fuck?” you ask.

She rolls her eyes and turns on her heels, walking over and plopping herself down on the couch, just staring at you with a condescending glare. You join her on the opposite side of the couch.

“Sam, do you think I’m stupid? Do you think that I didn’t know this was going to happen? I knew it was going to happen since the day you told me you saw her on the plane. You aren't very good at keeping your emotions to yourself. That night at the bar? You two were all over each other…you thought I couldn’t see. So when you told me you had a work meeting on a Friday night, I knew it had to be her. Who has a meeting at a bar at 8pm?”

You shoot her an annoyed, questioning look before realizing what she was getting at.

“Yeah, you forgot to turn your location off, Sammy boy…” she says, putting emphasis on her last words.

“DON’T ” you snap at her, cutting her off as she rolls her eyes again. She knows better.

“I had my suspicions and a key, so why not find out for myself?” she says, tapping her finger on her chin. “Low and behold, I’m right. Again.” she finishes.

“This whole arrangement was YOUR idea, Morgan. I didn’t break any rules.” you call out to her.

“This arrangement was for random one time hook ups, Sam. Not for a hall pass with your highschool sweetheart.” she replies.

“Oh fuck that, we never laid out specfics.” you know you got her when she cuts her eyes and turns her attention to her phone.

“You didn’t have to be such a bitch to her, you know.” you add.

“Really, Sam? Are you sure about that? Is that why you sent her out of here in that pink sweater? The one you claim is your favorite? The one you never let me wear?” she says snidely.

You look past her to the kitchen, ignoring her insinuation.

“How exactly do you think you’re going to get that back from her? Not by contacting her, right? Because that would break the rules…” she says, with a sneering tone.

“You’re being dramatic.” you say, playing it off, knowing that she is exactly dead on the money.

“No, I’m not. She needed to know her place, and I think she now knows, it’s nowhere near here. It was one time, Sam. That’s the rule. She needed to know.” she says finally.

You twirl the tassel on the throw pillow in your hands, looking over to Rose laying at your feet. She looks up at you with pleading eyes. You smile at her, and stand up.

“I’m taking Rose out, I have some errands to run. You can come with me or go home. Your choice.” and with that you walk into the bathroom, flicking the shower handle on, and stepping inside the steamy glass. Your anger is bubbling in your chest at how Morgan is acting and you question if any of this is even worth it anymore. You already know your feelings for her are nothing like what you felt last night.

As you massage the soapy suds into your hair, you let your mind wander back to last night.

Images of her eyes looking up at you, as she unbuckled your belt. Her long eyelashes fluttering as she gripped you in her hand.

Your hand wanders down to your dick, that is now screaming for attention, and you find yourself mimicking the motions of her hand that are replaying in your mind.

Her perfect pink lips wrapped so delicately over your length, her velvet tongue dragging slowly over you. The way your tip grazed the back of her throat. The groan of pleasure coming from her full mouth.

Your hand picks up its pace as you continue to stroke yourself more furiously.

“Fuck me, Sam…”

Your jaw hangs slack as you can almost imagine the sensation of how tight she was around you, poorly imitated in the grip of your hand now. As your breathing starts to falter, you pull from your most prized memories to get you over that finish line.

“Sammy…Sammy, fuck….”

The way her face looked as she reached her release around you, your name falling from her lips.

With one more pull you are groaning as your cum shoots into your fist as you continue to stroke your pulsing length, releasing every drop, wishing it was into her.

As you struggle to catch your breath you steady yourself on the shower wall and wonder if this will be the only way you'll be able to have her again. In your memories.

You begin to rewash your body, letting the suds wash down your legs and feet. Looking down to your legs, your mind flashes back to her legs being tangled with yours just a few short hours ago.

Sometime around 4am you woke up from the nagging in your bladder. She was out like a light next to you, and you found yourself just looking for her as you forced your eyes open. When you saw her next to you, you studied every inch of her, memorizing every curve. Every freckle you could make out in the dim light. She looked exactly like you remembered, though older now, like she had been through her share of struggles and triumphs. You wondered what her life has been like since you knew her. You wonder what would have happened if you never left her at Prom that night. How things may have played out between the two of you if you had told her how you felt. If a relationship with her would have eventually started. Would it have made it past high school? College? Would you still be with her now?

You were caught off guard when she mentioned the memory of that day in the car together, because you do remember it. You remember it for one specific reason, though you have buried it into the deepest folds of your brain, you remember. It was the day you realized you had feelings for her.

You had all spent the entire day swimming at the lake, hanging out together. Her, Lauren, you, and Danny, enjoying the coolness of the water on a hot summer day. Maybe it was your teenage hormones but you left the lake that day with the image of her sun kissed body floating endlessly through your brain. The way her bikini sat on her hips. The delicate blue string tied around the back of her neck in a bow. On the way home the setting sun was shining in on her and Lauren in the back seat they danced and sang to Ke$ha. The sun illuminated the side of her face, a beautiful peachy glow cast onto her skin; The wind from the rolled down windows blowing their hair around and smiles glued to their faces. You turned around to watch them and as her eyes met yours, they lingered for half a second longer than normal. There was something there and that's when you felt it the first time.

You knew right then you wanted her, but you couldn’t bear the thought of ruining the friendship you shared. The thought of no more days like that scared you into staying quiet. You kept and harbored those feelings for her, wondering if she felt the same, but denying anything between the two of you.

So when Prom came around and Lauren and Danny decided to go together, you felt it was only right to ask her. No one else had, and the thought of her going alone crushed you. You wanted to go with her, more than anyone, but you were scared. Scared that you might tell her how you felt, and scared that it could ruin your friendship. You didn’t even know if she liked you that way. No one knew you felt that way about her, and you didn’t want them to. Not even Danny. But you couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone at Prom, so you asked her and she accepted.

As the night came, the more you danced with her and talked with her the deeper those feelings for her began to root. When Danny pulled you aside in the bathroom and asked you what was going on between you two, you lied. You told him you felt sorry for her and that you didn't want her to go alone. But he didn't believe you. You were so sure he could see right through you. So you did the only thing you could think of that would drive the point home at 18 years old. You left her there and you took someone else home that night. Someone you couldn’t even remember the name of today.

But she remembered, right there in seat 14B. So when she told you on the plane that she had feelings for you back then, you were shocked. You thought at the time, maybe she might have but you never really knew for sure because you never talked to her after that night. You had effectively destroyed the friendship you tried to protect.

She didn't talk to you either. You didn't know you broke her heart. You didn’t know that she liked you that way, until Lauren told Danny and Danny told you. But by then it was too late. The band was finally taking off, you were graduating soon, and things in your life were finally starting to fall into place. But she was still there. Rooted into every fiber of your heart. Ever since that day at the lake. Ever since that one glance in the car. Over time it felt as if those roots disappeared one by one. That is, until you stepped into seat 14A and made conversation with an all too familiar stranger, whose smile lit you on fire the same way it did all those years ago.

So last night as you looked at her, laying in your bed, in your favorite t-shirt, you thought back on how stupid you were then. How you wished you had just told her how you felt. How you let her believe that she wasn’t the person you wanted to take home on Prom night. Or any night for that matter.

She was still there, still rooted into your heart, just gone dormant for all these years. You kicked yourself, because now you were with someone else. Someone who had allowed the opportunity of that moment with her. But someone who could never hold a candle to how you felt about the girl laying next to you. The one you’ve thought about since you were an eighteen year old nobody, playing your bass in your parents garage. The only girl you’d ever let call you Sammy. You have always been hers, whether she knew it or not.

As she rolled over closer to you, she wrapped her arm around your chest. You smoothed the hair away from her face and suddenly found that your bladder didn’t seem so important after all. You wanted to tell her how you felt, and you would in the morning. But the morning came quickly, and bearing different ideas.

You shake your head to clear the thoughts, turning off the shower and stepping out. You aren’t sure how long you were lost in that trance but it had to be a while. You could hear Rose scratching at the bathroom door. Drying yourself off you thought about how you were unprepared to face the reality of your situation. The reality being that you let her slip through your fingers again, and you didn’t know if you could bring her back. The other part of the problem being the 5 foot 4 brunette sitting on your living room couch.

You walk into your bedroom and get dressed, Rose walking into the room to meet you.

“I know, me too.” you say as she throws herself onto the floor with a huff. “Let's go, we’re gonna go run some errands.”

You pull your phone out of your pocket and stare at her contact for a minute, trying to convince yourself not to text her, but ultimately you do.

You: Can we please talk?

You slide the phone back into your pocket before walking down the hallway, to find Morgan still sitting on the couch.

“Are you staying or going?” you ask her.

“I’ll come with you.” she replies.

“Alright, well let’s go.” you say, attaching Rose’s leash to her harness and stepping towards the door.

You spend most of the afternoon running to various shops and stores picking up items you are running low on, grabbing coffee and enjoying the Farmers Market. You have a nagging feeling in the back of your head that has had you checking your phone for a reply multiple times today, but every time you’re met with nothing. As you pull into the last store, you let Morgan and Rose hang out in the car.

“I’m just going to run inside and grab what I need real quick. Do you need anything?” you ask.

She shakes her head no and you step into the building. You pull your phone from your pocket and see that the message has been read for over 3 hours now, and still no response. You have lost your self control and find yourself hitting the little green phone button next to her name.

Placing the phone to your ear you hear the call ring out, one, two, three times before you get her voicemail.

Fuck!

You: Please call me, I really want to explain. I promise it will make sense if you just let me explain.

Read.

Knowing that she is actively ignoring you almost makes it worse. You grab the bottle of Advil you came in for, and head to the register to checkout. As you get back into the car you sigh and pull away from the parking lot.

“What’s wrong, you’ve been in a mood all day.” Morgan asks.

“Nothing is wrong, just have a headache.” You say holding up the bottle of Advil.

Lie. Strike Two.

“Good, I thought you were still hung up on that girl.” she says, reassuring herself.

If you only knew…

She reaches out to grab your hand and laces her fingers with yours. It feels so wrong. It feels alien. You pull into the parking lot of a restaurant to pick up your to-go order and run in again with your wallet, leaving Morgan and Rose in the car to wait.

As you approach the counter, they tell you it’s going to be another few minutes so you sit on the bench and wait. You instinctively reach for your phone, but realize you must have left it in the car.

MORGAN POV

Oops, looks like he left his phone...

You pick it up out of the seat and go to put it in the console, but curiosity gets the best of you. You bite your lip and slide your thumb up the screen opening up the device.

Looking up to make sure he isn’t walking out, you check his calls. You have a sneaking suspicion he is still in contact with that girl.

Yep. There she is…

What the hell… why does he even care about her… what was so great about her… whatever.

You close out of the phone log and switch to his texts, seeing Jake, Daniel, and there she is again. You click on her name and see that he has just texted her 15 minutes ago, and multiple times before that, for weeks.

Whatever.

To be honest, you kind of expected this. You know he has been in a pissy mood all day but he will never admit why. That's why you wanted to come with him today, to see if he would crack.

Honestly, your relationship with Sam has lasted longer than you expected. When you started to get bored you suggested an open relationship and he went for it. You told him that you wanted him to be able to enjoy his tour when in reality you had been seeing others on the side for a while. You were surprised when he agreed without argument, but didn’t question it. It gave you both the freedom you wanted. You do care about him as a person and boyfriend but something was missing from the relationship and maybe it always has been.

When it all started that night at the bar you knew exactly who he was. He was lonely and looking for someone, and you were looking for your ticket to the career you always wanted. You had hoped that things would progress into a relationship and they did. You knew dating someone like him could help you get where you wanted to be, and like magic you landed your job with Lava. You knew he pulled some strings for you, so you stuck around. You kept things casual with him, while wearing the girlfriend badge. He made your life easy, granting you access to things you wouldn’t be able to attain without him. But as you spent more time with him getting to know him you did begin to care about him and enjoy his company. So seeing him want someone else hurts but you always knew this wasn’t forever.

When you saw the two of them at the bar that night, you could see that fire in his eyes that he once had with you. You knew this would happen. That he was drawn to her. You said nothing, waiting to see if your hunch was right. When he said he had a meeting last night, you knew. It had to be her.

Locking the phone and tucking it between your legs, you sat and waited. Ready to press him further to see if he would snap. You want him to admit it.

You sit back in the seat and wait.

SAM POV

As you slide into the driver's seat you check the console for your phone but you don't see it. You open the center console and it's not there either. You lift up wondering if it fell out of your pocket but it's not there.

“What the hell?” you mutter looking all around.

“Looking for this?” Morgan asks, holding it up in her hand, with a sneering tone.

You grab it out of her hands and shove it into your pocket.

“So this little love affair has been going on for weeks, huh? Like since the day you saw her on that plane?” she asks condescendingly.

“What?” you ask.

“You have been texting her for weeks… You texted her 20 minutes ago.” she says.

“You went through my phone?” you say.

She shrugs dismissively, “What exactly are you going to explain, Sam? What wasn’t clear this morning?”

“You have got to be kidding me! Why would you do that!? This is a complete invasion of my privacy! You had no reason to believe that I was doing anything against our rules, and yet you decided to break my trust and go through my texts? This is low, even for you Morgan.” you yell, accelerating the car faster than you should.

“But you did break the rules Sam!” she yells back. “That was it. That was the last time. Nod if you agree.”

You clench your jaw and nod, not wanting to even look at her. You hate that she is right. You hate that you are caught. But honestly, you don't even really care anymore.

Now she knows.

The rest of the night is uneventful and you end up letting Morgan spend the night so as to not raise any further suspicion. You do feel bad that you broke the rules, but it just felt like something worth breaking the rules over, and if presented with the opportunity, you would probably do it again. Rules be damned. Morgan be damned.

By the morning she is gone to get ready for work and you awake alone in your bed. You stumble out of bed and get dressed, seeing that t-shirt laying on the floor by the window. You pick it up and throw it into your laundry basket, prompting you to reach for your phone, just to check and see if she had by some miracle replied. Nothing.

I’ll be damned if I let her get away again without so much as an explanation.

You hit the phone button and let the dial tone ring out, before getting her voicemail again, so you send her another text.

You: Can I please talk to you? I need to explain and then I will leave you alone if that's what you want.

Error: Message could not be delivered.

What?

She blocked me.

You slam your phone down onto the bed and storm off into the kitchen. You let Rose outside and slam that door too. You slam the cabinet shut, the coffee pot closed and the mug down onto the island. You are pissed. You have ruined your last shot. The shot you never thought you’d get to take, again.

As you wait for your coffee to brew you stand and think.

How can I make this right? How can I get her back?

But then, it comes to you.

HER POV

Your phone vibrates across your coffee table, dancing along as you stare at it. You know who it is, and you know what he wants. But what you want is to respect the woman he’s in a relationship with and the rules they have set with each other. You know what happened with Sam was not just a casual hookup. You know that, or else he wouldn’t be begging for you to talk to him. He would forget about you, just like the rest who likely came before you. Shoving your feelings aside, you ignore the call.

The phone stops vibrating and you pick it up, just as it vibrates again.

Sammy K: Can I please talk to you? I need to explain and then I will leave you alone if that's what you want.

That’s when you decide to block his number. No matter how bad it hurts. You know that if you answer him and let him talk to you and explain, that you will fall right back into his arms. You will be the other woman. You will be responsible for hurting someone else. You deserve more than to be someone's secret.

You scroll to his contact and hit block, wishing it would also block the feelings radiating inside your chest. But it doesn’t. Sadly there is no button for that.

The next several days are filled with work, cheap bottles of wine and romantic comedies. You have tried to push the thoughts of him out of your head, but you can’t. Your mind keeps racing back to that tender moment you shared just a week ago. When he told you, how even after all these years, you are the only one who can call him Sammy. How you make him feel normal in the hustle and bustle of his busy life. That feels too real for you. It feels too, right. You want that. But not in these circumstances.

Polishing off the last of the Merlot, you slide the glass onto the coffee table, as your phone buzzes. Looking down at the screen you see a familiar name.

Jake?

Jakey K: Free for lunch tomorrow? Would love to catch up.

What in the world? Why is Jake texting you to have lunch…

You: Are you sure you picked the right contact? Lol…

Jakey K: Yeah, if you don’t want to, that’s okay too.

You: No, I do. I have my lunch hour from 12-1.

Jakey K: Tomorrow at 12:15 at Bone’s?

You: Sure, okay. See you then!

Well this is odd. I mean, you did always hang out all together… I guess it’s not so strange, and he did say ‘don't be a stranger’ that day at the airport.

As you fall asleep tonight, you are happy that you have something to look forward to tomorrow. It will be nice to spend your lunch hour outside your office. Thinking about what to wear, you drift off to sleep.

The clock is ticking closer and closer to 12:00. It’s a 5 minute drive from your office to the restaurant Jake picked, and you are actually really excited to see him. You decided on a dress today, and you are feeling happy and confident with your appearance. You busy yourself for another few minutes before you are collecting your things and walking out the door. As you get into your car you reapply your lipstick and set off to the restaurant.

You park your car and get out, and as you open the front door you are greeted by the hostess and a familiar looking face in a black hat.

“Hi, Jake.” You say with a smile.

“Hello, there.” he says with a soft smile. He looks to the hostess and motions for two and she escorts you to a table. You both sit down and settle yourselves as he passes you the drink menu.

Maybe one drink would be ok… it will probably wear off before you have to go back…

“What do you think, does anything look appealing?” he asks.

You continue to read the menu, biting your lip as you decide. “Yeah I think I can probably have one, if I drink it fast.” you both laugh.

The waitress comes and takes your drink order and you give her the menus.

“So how have you been, just wanted to catch up. Like to talk to old friends.” he says rubbing his thumb over his chin.

“Yeah, it’s really nice of you to reach out! I have been great. I have a great job, and I love Nashville. There is always something to do or a show to see.” you smile. “How have you been? What’s going on in your life?” you ask.

“Ahhh, you know just traveling, touring, living my life. My girlfriend just moved in with me, things are getting more settled down, you know?” he asks.

You smile, remembering the 19 year old guy playing his guitar far too loudly in the garage and how far he has come. He always said he would be famous, and sure enough.

“That’s amazing, I am so happy for you Jake.” you smile. “I would love to meet her if you guys ever decide to go out one night.”

“Oh she would love that, she loves meeting new people.” he says, but is interrupted by the waitress asking for our food order.

Once you place your order, you continue to chat casually sipping at your margarita, and enjoying the conversation.

Jake pulls his phone out of his pocket, “I’m sorry, excuse me.” he says standing up and walking away.

You swirl your straw around in your glass, the pale green liquid growing clearer as the ice melts. Your tongue darts out to lick the salt on the rim as you take another sip through the tiny black straw. Your eyes flick up and out of the corner of your eye you see Jake’s hat near the front door.

What is he doing?

Who is he talking to?

Leaning over to peer out of the booth your eyes find him again, but this time you can see who he is talking to you and you feel your face heating and turning red.

Just as you are about to collect your things and storm out, your waitress arrives with your food.

“Here you are, your steak salad. Can I get you anything else? Another drink maybe?” she asks.

You contemplate just leaving all together, but you know this is an expensive lunch, and it looks so good. You decide that if you are about to sit here and suffer through this set up, you are going to need another drink.

“Sure, I will do one more Margarita, thank you.” you say politely.

Throwing back the rest of your watered down margarita, you see Sam approaching the table with Jake in tow.

Sam slides into the booth with sorrowful eyes, and you immediately look away, fully intending on ignoring him as you eat your lunch.

“So sorry to do this, but I have to run. Luckily, Sam can keep you company.” Jake says with a smirk and a pat on the shoulder, and with that he is a blurry shadow walking away.

That asshole. This was the plan the whole time.

You cut your eyes back to Sam who is still sitting there, staring at you, waiting for you to say something. Instead you pick up your fork and knife and begin to eat. The waitress drops off your drink and you tell her thank you and smile at her, and do every single thing that you can to make sure the message is very clear that you are ignoring him. After a few more minutes he finally cracks.

“Can you please just say something!” he begs.

You look up at him slowly and dramatically. “Yeah, I can. Where should I start? Should I start with you failing to mention that what happened between us was only going to be a one time thing? Or should I start with you calling and texting me incessantly over the past week to the point where I had to block your number? Or this little setup you planned? Or the fact that you're even seeing me right now is breaking your little rules?”

He throws his head back into the seat. “You didn’t give me a chance to explain. I tried to call you, I tried to text you. You blocked me, and you’re entitled to that, but you have to hear my side of things. Please. This was the only way.” he says pleading.

“The only way was to drag your poor brother into this? Did you tell him? Did you tell him what happened?” you ask.

“Yeah, he knows. It’s the only way I could get him to agree to it.” he says defeatedly.

“Oh my god, Sam… this is…beyond…” you say, shocked, shaking your head.

“Can I please explain? After I tell you everything, if you want me to leave and never speak to you again, I will do it. I’ll respect that, but you have to know my side of things.” he says.

You pick at your salad a little bit, before you look up to him. “Okay, go ahead.” you say begrudgingly.

“I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you the details of mine and Morgan’s relationship. I should have been completely up front with you about it. The rules are that one night stands are allowed, but no contact after, and it can never happen again. Right? You know that part. The part that I didn’t tell you is that about five minutes after meeting you at the bar that night, I threw all the rules out the window. I knew this would never just be one time for me. It couldn’t.” he says nervously.

“You asked me that night if I remembered that day in the car… I do remember. You know why I remember it? Because that day we all went to the lake… I realized that I liked you. Not like a friend, either. I never stopped liking you. When I asked you to Prom? I had no question in my mind that I wanted to take you. You were my first choice. But I was so scared of ruining the friendship we all had. I couldn’t stand the idea of something happening and us losing everything. So I kept it to myself and when Danny asked me about it, I lied to him. I was nervous that he could tell so I left with that random girl that night. I had no idea that you liked me back. I was shattered for weeks when I found out that you cried the entire way home. Danny gave me shit for weeks. I gave myself shit.” he says, with hurting eyes.

“We stopped talking and I realized I ruined everything. It was too late, I blew it. I would search you every now and then, see how you were doing. But I knew I lost my chance. Until I saw you on the plane that day. I knew right that second that I had to know you again. I had to know this version of you. Danny knew. Even Jake… Josh. But there was Morgan. She threw a wrench into everything.” He says with a sigh, running his hands through his hair.

“Things with her have been rocky at best, I feel like this arrangement we made was a means to an end. Then you came along. She’s been reading my texts and telling me that I need to stop talking to you, and the only thing I feel for her at this point is resentment. That’s part of the reason I had to set this up through Jake. I didn’t want her to show up here. I know that all of this doesn’t change anything that happened and I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am. You deserve better than what I gave you but you had to know. It was never one time for me. It never has been. It never will be.” He says, reaching his hand out to yours.

Your heart aches at his confession.

Has he really felt like this all this time?

You want to give in, you want to tell him you feel the same, and you always have. You want to run back into his arms. But you can’t. You can’t let him off this easily.

“So you mean to tell me, that instead of just telling me how you felt back then, you lied and kept it secret and ended up hurting me anyways? Ruining the friendship that you were trying to protect? How did that workout for us, Sam? How would it be any different now? You’re doing the exact same thing now! How am I supposed to trust you? Have you learned anything since then?!” you ask.

“I know, it's… it’s a mess and it's all my fault. I was so stupid then, I guess I’m still stupid, now. But I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. All day everyday, you’re there. Just like back then. I know this is a lot, and I know you probably don’t feel the same way anymore. But you just had to know. It’s always been you.” he finishes.

Your eyes lock with his, and you can feel how badly he wants you to understand. To forgive him. To be with him.

“Sam…I think you know how I feel about you. If you’re serious, you will go and figure things out with Morgan. Figure out what you really want.” you say pulling your phone from your purse.

You scroll to his contact and unblock his number. “There, you aren’t blocked anymore. Figure out what you want. When you’re ready, you can call me and let me know what you’ve decided. Either way. Until then…” you trail off.

Please make the right choice Sammy...

SAM POV

As she flashes you the screen of her phone, your heart leaps. You see that you are still Sammy in her phone. After all these years, you're still Sammy.

You reach your hand out for hers, and she lets you grab it.

Maybe there is hope after all…

You want this with her. You want everything with her.

You breathe a deep sigh of relief, “Thank you...I swear I’m not going to fuck this up again.”

She squeezes your hand, “I really hope so Sam.”

You nod your head in agreement. The waitress comes with the check and you quickly slide her your card.

“Sam!” she scoffs.

“It is the least I could do. I mean, I did set you up anyways.” you smirk.

“Yeah, don’t think you’re off the hook for that either.” she says with a grin.

You laugh, as she smiles at you. “I’m going to make this right. I promise.” you say in a more serious tone.

She nods and grabs her purse, “I have to get back to work. I am already late.” she says.

“Oh, go. I’m sorry I kept you.” you say.

“I’m not.” she says with a soft smile. She stands and throws her purse over her shoulder, giving you a soft kiss on the cheek and disappearing down the aisle.

Your body feels like it is on fire after her small display of affection. The waitress returns with your card and you quickly sign your name and head out to your car.

Once you’re inside you turn off do not disturb and see that you have a whole slew of messages and phone calls.

Jake: How did it go?

Morgan: Why are you on DND, call me.

Morgan: Hello?

Missed Call: Morgan

Fuck...

You text Jake back and tell him that it has gone as good as you’d hoped and thanking him for his help.

But now you have to call Morgan. You select her contact and hit the phone icon, listening to it ring.

“Hello?” she answers.

“Hey.” you say.

“What’s going on? I saw you put ‘do not disturb’ on. You never turn that on.” she asks.

“I was just having a meeting. What are you doing?” you ask.

“Nothing, I just got home. Why, what’s up?” she asks.

“Can I come over?” you say.

“Aww, yeah. You can, how long until you’ll be here?” she asks.

“Maybe 10 minutes?” you reply.

“Okay, I will see you soon.” she says.

“Sounds good.” you say hanging up, swallowing heavily.

A few minutes later as you pull into her driveway you put your car in park and get out, making your way to her door.

She opens the door just before you knock, and wraps her arms around your neck. As you wrap your arms around her you sigh, returning the hug that feels so foreign to you now.

You care for her, but now you are torn on what is right and wrong. You have feelings for both girls. You have so much history with both of them. They both know you, just in different stages of life. You want them both.

Stepping into her house you push the hair from your face and shut the door behind you.

Now, being forced to make a decision between the two, you wonder if you really have to.

Or if you will.

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