#steve did have a big list of movies to watch so it's canon

[shurisneakers]

bridges break (vii)

summary: steve shuts himself away. you pull him along on a trip of a lifetime in an attempt to reconnect. great plan! except there’s one big secret he’s keeping from you that could change the course of your entire relationship, and there’s no greasy stack of diner pancakes in the country big enough to hide behind.

(road trip!au, best friends to lovers)

Warnings: mentions of death, injuries, war, angst, mental health issues and disorientation, ptsd, swearing, panic attacks, lemme know if i missed anything and I’ll tag it.

A/N: hate mail to j*ss whedon for not making the avengers friends when he literally. could have. like it was right there. and now unfortunately i have to stick to that part of canon like sir you're ruining my found family ihysm. anyway this part mentions tony. (how are we all doing btw how is everyone's life going?)

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

"Fact number 3. Captain America's favourite colours are red, blue and white."

Steve's face contorts. "Absolutely not."

"I can see why they think that," you say through a mouthful of popcorn. "Take a wild guess, why don't you."

"I prefer the stealth suit," he grumbles. "Not that they cared to ask."

"Because you'd tell 'em if they did? King of open communication?" you retort before going back to your phone.

Steve stays quiet. He knows it's a joke but there's a bite to it that he isn't sure you've used before.

"Fact number 4. The shield is calibrated to return to his arm constantly," you continue, however.

"Now that's just wrong," he states. "Sometimes it comes back to my face."

You hold back a laugh. "You've hit yourself in the face with your shield?"

"I wasn't born with the ability to throw that thing around, you know." He can't help a smile. "The serum was the only thing that stopped us from finishing half the army's medical supplies. I had a new broken bone at the end of each day because I caught it wrong."

"What?"

"Broke both my femurs once. Had to lay there on the ground for a couple hours till it healed so I could walk back to the main camp."

You wince. "Steve."

"They always leave that out of the movies," he says dryly. "Wonder why."

"You're insane." You shake your head. "I feel bad for Bucky."

Steve finds himself grinning. "He was convinced I liked doing it."

"Your smile doesn't tell me otherwise," you say, entirely unimpressed yourself.

There was still a tiny scar on his shin. He sometimes saw it when his legs were propped up in front of him. Each time, ghosts of the searing pain shoot up his thigh and fade away a second later.

"Fact number 5," you digress when he doesn't counter your earlier statement, "His favourite food is apple pie."

Steve shrugs.

"I know that's wrong. You like blueberry better."

The corner of his mouth quirks into a tiny smile. "I do."

"Fact number 6," you call from where you lay on the bed. "His favourite movie is Gone With the Wind."

Steve stares at you from the chair, one leg crossed over the other.

"Well?" you urge. "Is it?"

"How many of these are there?" he asks wearily.

"Like, twenty four." You turn back to the phone when he doesn't answer. "Fact number-"

"Please," he says. "No more."

"Fair enough."

He watches you close the tab, dropping the phone onto your chest.

"It isn't Gone With The Wind."

"Yeah, I know."

You continue to stare at the ceiling. It's an easy afternoon, for the both of you to rest. Check out was later and then you were supposed to be on the road again.

"You know, I don't think I've ever asked you that," you say, flipping onto your stomach to eye him. "What is your favourite colour?"

Steve thinks for a second but invariably settles on the first colour that pops into his head.

"Yellow."

"Fun." You pull your phone out from under you and unlock it again. "I'm gonna comment that, hold on."

After a beat, Steve asks, "What'd you say?"

"Told them I have it on good record that Steve Rogers' favourite colour is yellow--" your focus stays on whatever you were typing out-- "and that their list sucks."

"Maybe leave out the last part," he suggests.

"And posted." You give him a thumbs up. "I'll give it five minutes before someone starts an argument with me in the replies."

He's gotten into his fair share of online arguments. It'd dwindled over the years, but there were enough for his PR agent to pale whenever she saw him near a phone.

"Did you actually post that?"

"Huh?" you ask, but it comes out distant as you click dedicatedly at something.

"Are you already fighting with someone?"

"Give me a second." You hold up a finger.

Steve settles on watching you focus on the task at hand.

In a flash, your nose scrunches up all weird. He thinks it's adorable, especially when he catches your eye and you immediately try to get rid of the disgust, disdain, whatever it was.

"What?" He laughs.

"Nothing."

"C'mon," he prods. "I'll tell you my favourite movie."

"That's a trick question, Rogers." You wave the same raised finger at him. "You don't have a favourite movie."

Steve huffs a little at the failed attempt, but his heart swells. Just a little. A normal amount. He represses the everloving shit out of it.

"It's nothing," you repeat, locking your phone again and dropping it beside you. "I just took a Buzzfeed quiz to find out my superhero boyfriend."

Steve's eyebrow quirks up. "And?"

"It's the raccoon." You sigh. "The space raccoon."

"Rocket?" Steve asks. "Yeah, I could see that working out."

"Do you now?"

"I've got a way of contacting him around here somewhere. You think you can wait that long?"

You reach over to throw a pillow at him and Steve laughs when it misses by a long shot.

_____

The clear, unobstructed skies are dealt with by looming trees. Dark, tall and swaying.

Steve loses sight of the road minutes into the woods, watching in awe and trepidation. His ears stay tuned-- he can hear every footstep in a two-mile radius if he really tried, and for a second he really does consider it.

The car moves along slowly, windows rolled down welcoming the freshness. Steve inhales and exhales just as deep, letting clean, crisp air flood his system.

"That's the owner," you sing, pulling the car to a halt by the side of the house.

It's a wooden A-frame, with windows giving him a peek into the inside. A ramp goes up the side and to the back, serving as an entrance and a patio, a pit out front for campfires.

Steve steps out first, doing a quick scan of the environment before you join him. Nothing was wrong. Yet.

You greet the blonde woman dressed in a bright red tracksuit, hair up in a pony and a bandana pushing back flyaways.

One hand on her hip and the other out to meet yours in a shake, she jumps back and forth between Steve and you as you introduce yourselves.

"It's nice to meet y'all," she chirps, eyeing the both of you up and down. "We get a lot of couples out here this time of year. Y'all got lucky with the booking."

"Oh, we're not..." you begin before trailing. "Thanks for fitting us in."

She catches it, however, raising an eyebrow at Steve. He gives her a polite smile.

"Here's the number to the keypad. Just remember to keep the noise down if you're playing music, no smoking, no pets. If you're using the fire pit, pour water over it when you're done."

"Got it," you confirm. "Won't be an issue."

"I'll be a few miles away at our campsite." She looks at him. "Don't hesitate to call or visit if you need anything. My phone's on at all times."

"Thanks." He gives her a smile.

"At all times," she repeats slowly as she backs away. It has you stifling a laugh.

"We'll keep that in mind," he replies. "Have a nice day."

"You too!" she calls out. "Make yourselves comfortable. Have a nice stay."

You wave at her as she gets into her own car, engine whirring to life as she pulls away, but not before sending him another look out her window.

"Wow," you say in awe when her car disappears beyond the trees.

"I know, it's beautiful." Steve isn't even looking the same direction as you are, seemingly having turned towards the house in the middle of the encounter.

You look at him strangely, almost as if you're gauging his reaction. "Uh huh. That's what I'm talking about. The house."

He tilts his head at you and you dismiss it with a shake of yours.

"Come on," you adjust the bag over your shoulder. "I call dibs on the upstairs bedroom."

_______

The sun sets faster in this part of the world, or he just doesn't notice the time slipping by.

Afternoon turns to evening turns to night in a flash by the time he comes back from exploring the nearest surroundings. There's a lake nearby, still and gentle with a paddle boat nearby that he might convince you to go on the next day.

But above all else, there is just overwhelming quiet. He can hear twigs cracking a mile away, the beating of your heart next to him as you walk beside him and every bird that lands on a branch.

You eat dinner out in the open that night, diner food balance don your laps as you sat on the stairs. Steve has a jacket thrown on. He realises he doesn't really need it, but he keeps it on nonetheless.

"Staying in places like this for at least a week would factory reset your brain," you say. "It's dangerous."

"What d'you mean?" he asks.

"Why do you think people who go on vacation sometimes just stay there?" You bite down on another spoonful of rice. "It's the peace. Once you get addicted, there's no going back."

"Have you?"

"Not yet." You shake your head lightly. "I don't ever stay long enough. I've got work to finish that I won't get to otherwise."

Steve finds himself relating a little too much to that. "Yeah."

"My parents liked it," you add wistfully, almost. "The quiet. Our house was silent a lot."

Steve has nothing to say in reply. He supposes that's why he hears you humming to yourself so much-- filling in spaces left behind by other people.

"But maybe someday." You shrug, facing him with a little smile. "It's something to look forward to."

"Today we're in Morocco. Next week we'll be in Lebanon," she says. "After that who knows?"

"Depends on where we're needed next." He takes aim and throws his dart.

"I guess.” She watches it hit the board. “And eventually, we won’t be needed anywhere." Nat looks at him. "That's what we're doing this for, aren't we?"

"That's the goal." He offers her a dart out of his own pile. She turns it down. "Don't know if that's ever gonna happen. Retirement, stability; it seems a long way off."

"The quiet?" Steve asks.

"The quiet," you affirm.

The sky is cloudy, but the moon is bright enough to illuminate the area around you without the support of the cabin lights. You don't say anything much, only tidbits of conversations here and there.

The leaves rustle whenever a draft blows, and once the wind chime that hangs above you both settles down, you are left in the same silence as before.

He can't tell if he likes it or not.

_______

Steve raises his arms above his head and stretches until he hears the usual pop in his shoulder.

The sweater he's wearing rides up his waist, exposing a tiny sliver of skin before his arms drop to the side again. It was cooler outside than he'd thought it would be, even after you'd raised the temperature in the house in anticipation of it getting even worse at night.

"G'morning," you say, sipping from a mug, settled back in a lounge chair on the patio.

"Is it?" he squints at the sun.

"Well no. It's like, one o'clock, but I didn't wanna wake you," you confess. "Thought you'd need the rest."

Something-- and he' can't quite put his finger on it-- had kept him on edge the entire night. His sleep was light, barely there, just in case something decided to show up from the trees.

"Breakfast?" you propose. "Brunch, actually."

"I'll get it," he replies. "It's in the bag?"

"Yeah, there's some muesli for you. Bread's on the counter," you reply, going back to the news you were reading.

Steve steps into the house, bare feet against the cool floors. He locates the duffel bag on the dining table, already left open.

He finds the box of cereal fairly quickly, and as he pulls it out it reveals the supply of crackers, chocolate and marshmallows underneath.

It brings a smile to his face as he reads the label on each one, sifting through a few ready made meals before his sight lands on a box somewhere near the bottom.

Pancake mix, and a tiny, sealed bottle of syrup.

He sends a glance over to where you're sitting unaware, back turned to him.

It takes him about twenty minutes to find a pan, mix up the batter and make enough pancakes to keep the both of you full the whole day.

_____

Tonight, you declared, was the fateful night.

"You can see the stars clearly from the outskirts," you tell him. "And apparently it's not supposed to be cloudy tonight, so yay."

It's a task, but you gather up all the firewood you could find, a big grin on your face as you drop it near the pit. Steve follows behind, carrying even more than you were, amusement on his face.

"C'mon," you instruct, "time to put those arson skills to use, Rogers."

So he does. Puts all his century-gathered knowledge together and creates the best fire he can, steady and would last a pretty long time. By the time he's done, even he's impressed.

"You got the bucket?" he queries. "The owner said it'd be under the kitchen sink."

"Have it right here, filled and ready to go," you confirm, patting at it. "Don't worry, I heard her through all the swooning."

He pokes at the fire to shift around some sticks. "What swooning?"

You narrow your eyes at him. "Don't tell me you couldn't see it."

Steve holds onto the log for longer than usual before declaring, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, my God." You bite down on your lip to prevent a laugh. "I know you're shitting me, Rogers, there is no way you didn't notice her flirting with you."

"Is that what this is about?" Steve's eyebrow creases. "I didn't notice."

"Sure you didn't."

"Swear to God, I got no clue what you're talking about."

"She told you to visit her campsite," you remind him lightly, "at any time, whenever you want."

Steve's face twists when realisation sets in. "I didn't read into it."

"She's got a little crush on you," you tease. "Who can blame her, really?"

"Stop it," he mumbles, attributing the heat creeping up his neck to the fire. "She doesn't."

"Do you usually not notice when people hit on you or--?" you point out, "Because it's been happening on this trip, too. I have eyes, I can count."

"First of all, I didn't get hit on for about, sixty per cent of my life," he retorts. "And when I did, it was hard to miss."

You quirk an eyebrow, throwing a random twig into the flame. "What, no playing coy?"

"The exact opposite." Steve's smile, the one he reserves for the days gone by, is slight to himself. "Sometimes the girls used to just grab me and kiss me. It caused a lotta trouble.”

The boys used to keep track of every time Steve stumbled into his quarters with lipstick smudged across his cheek and genuine excuses for being late being met with 'uh huh, yeah right!'. They thought it was the funniest shit in the world while he painstakingly wiped away at his mouth.

You, however, react differently. A flinch. It's small enough that he probably wouldn't have even caught it if he wasn't paying so much attention.

He's quick to ask, "What's wrong?"

“I dunno. Just think that they shoulda asked first.”

He pauses to think about it for a second. Wonders if that's why he never laughed as much as the boys did.

He can’t think of a response so he lets it go.

"She doesn't have a crush on me." He feels the need to defend.

"Absolutely." You nod. "I completely agree with you."

You laugh when he mumbles something under his breath and it drags a reluctant smile from him.

As dusk moves into night, the clear sky is unfortunately forced covered by clouds rolling in. Not a star to be seen.

"Maybe it'll clear up in a while," he offers.

You sigh. "I don't think so. Damn weather forecast lied to me."

Steve's mouth presses into a thin line. "I'm sure we'll see it along the trip somewhere."

"I suppose," you reply, head turned up to the sky. "I thought we could see it together. I loved stargazing as a kid.” 

“I remember you telling me.” Steve's face can’t help itself, his lip tugging upwards. 

“Yeah, I’d stay up pretty late to wait for my parents so I found my way towards it. I picked up on a few constellations to show them but they were always too tired." Your head inclines, trying to see past the clouds. “Or they weren’t really interested. But eventually, that’s what got me into science, y’know?”

Steve’s mouth tugs to the side unhappily, eyebrows knitting together. He doesn't know how you were so casual about them, each time, after everything. 

You face him again. “Did you ever do it? Stargazing?"

"Not like you, I think," he says. "I can name a few constellations, but that's it."

"You got a favourite?"

"Scorpius," Steve replies. "This kid in my apartment used to point it out to me from the roof sometimes. He liked insects in general, used to chase his sisters around with them.”

A wide smile grows on your face. "That's adorable."

But it’s been years since Walt was long gone; so was his mother and his sisters and almost everyone else in that brick-walled apartment that was falling apart at the seams. 

He clears his throat before he can think too hard about it. "Your favourite changes every time you do this, doesn’t it?"

"It does." You reach over to pull out the supply of marshmallows you'd got along the way. "I can't ever pick one."

"Do you have a favourite star?"

"Yeah," you shoot back, smile changing into a grin, "You."

It's the first terrible joke you've made in days. That fact alone is enough to get a laugh from him. It smells of relief and mixes with a groan.

"Leave one out for the bears," he reminds as you hand him a stick with a marshmallow speared on one end.

"Mighty generous of you, Steven." You hold it over the fire. "I'll make extras for you too. Gotta get that energy in when you're fighting them."

"Yeah, you gotta even the playing field."

The joke brings with it the memory of bright sunflowers that should be picture perfect, but instead, it feels like someone's poured water over the campfire.

His fingers itch, and he chooses to run it through his hair to shake off the sudden despair that threatens to weave its way through him again.

Steve reminds himself that's why he keeps the jacket on.

When he looks back at you, your face has sobered too. It's no stretch to assume you were reminded of the way the afternoon had taken a turn after a mostly pleasant day.

"What happened there that day, Steve?" you ask softly, pulling your roasted marshmallow back from the flame.

"I don't know." He bites the inside of his lip. "Guess I was just tired."

He was, but even you know that wasn't entirely truthful.

"I'm not going to push you," you say, neck craned towards him. "But I think keeping everything in isn't the way to deal with it."

His own treat is singed at the edges by the time he remembers he pulls it back, but he can hardly find it in himself to care. He doesn't even think he wants to eat it anymore.

"Everyone says it's something different. The way I am." Everyone's got an opinion, everyone's dissected him open on every television station, podcast, internet forum. "Everything from possession to being a cyborg."

"Doesn't matter what they think."

"What's your assessment?" Steve turns to you.

"Doesn't matter what I think either." You look him in the eye. "I'm not qualified to hand one out. Different kinda doctor."

But it does. It does matter what you think.

Steve looks at you before looking back up at the clouds.

"We didn't have names for all this back then." He finds it easier to talk about the war than himself. "Mostly just called it shell shock or combat fatigue. Sometimes all it took was thirty days on the field."

He can hear it it still, ringing in his ears. With the flashbacks and the commands he remembers shouting over raining bullets, the only thing missing was the smell of blood stained mud and death lingering close by. He doesn't know how he speaks so easily about it, like a reality he's detached himself from. He supposes it was good. If he re-lived every emotion he went through during those years, he'd go insane.

"The first year out of the ice, they had me meet with a few living World War 2 vets. Some sort of publicity stunt, I don't know." He shrugs. "They thought it'd be good."

Your breath hitches in your throat.

"Didn't really know them, but I knew people who knew them," Steve says. "We talked about what we remembered. Most of it matched up, some of it were things I didn't even know happened."

They stuck him on a plane within two weeks of coming out of the ice and attributed his face going pale and vice like grip on his knees to air sickness. It took a while to get used to being in the sky again.

"One of the guys there, retired Colonel, was talkin' about how one of the privates was gonna get court-martialed for going A.W.O.L. during the war." Steve shifts, tugging his arms closer together. "Just a kid too, eighteen years old. Don't know how they even got past Basic, they always did the vilest shit to get you ready for what's out there."

"I can handle it."

"You're all of four feet tall with twigs for bones, and you think you can handle it just cause your mamma called you a strong boy? Go home."

"I can handle it," Steve repeats, teeth gritting, sweat tearing down his skin. The sky had barely seen the light of day and his muscles already ached in places he couldn't put a finger on.

"Why, cause you got heart? You believe in the power of friendship?" The man's stare hardens like his fingertips. "What those posters sell ya- that's all bullshit, kid. That ain't gonna save you."

Steve's fingernails bruise into the palm of his hands but he doesn't shift.

"This-" He shoves at his chest and Steve is forced to take a step back, heels digging into the soil. "This is gonna save you."

He'd seen this kind of people before. Ones that violence hadn't made softer, just the opposite.

"Your scientist buddy may believe in that good man, boy scout horseshit but out there-" the man points behind him- "out there, Rogers, there are no morals. Would you eat a brother if you were starving? Would you stand on his dead body to pick fruit from a tree?"

Stories of pushups with broken ribs, limbs getting blown up right in front of him. Always hard to talk about the nicer things, the good things in life. Stories shrouded in negativity flow from his heart so easily that he fears that it's become his new normal.

"They called it the war to end all wars. It's what they told everyone, told them their sacrifice would be worth it. You start losing friends once, twice and then over and over again and you start wondering--" Steve presses his mouth into a thin line. "Come out a hundred years later and nothing's changed."

Your mouth is pressed into a hard line. You don't say anything, however.

"That's my assessment." He looks at you. "I think that's what happened there. Thought I'd gotten used to it, letting go of people you care about. Apparently I didn't."

He didn't think he'd have to deal with it again. He'd put it away, locked it in a room with the rest of the memories of the war and when he was forced to break it open again, it just didn't compute.

"We didn't talk about it," he continues, voice clear. "Wasn't really heard of to ask for help. You just... dealt with it. Moved on. Get out of there if you can and get your life together if it all works out."

Some of them dealt with it well. He met Morita's grandson, and from what he heard, the man had lived a good life. He wouldn't talk about the war too often but when he did, it was always about the boys. Others were lost in thousand yard stares and memories he kept locked away, but his grandson mentioned the clementines he always had for him when he visited.

"Have you talked to someone about this?" you lean forward on your elbows. "Anyone?"

"Sam knows a little bit. Buck too, but that's different." That was informal, filling in the gaps from what Bucky could remember and what he wanted to remember.

The VA sessions were good whenever he could attend them. Not very regularly, or a lot; he was always more of a listener than a talker. But it felt liberating to know he wasn't alone.

"There are more specialists out there now." Your tone's shifted from the light one earlier this evening, but he's grateful it doesn't hold the same air of patronisation he's heard before. It's kind. "People who've been through similar things."

"Yeah," he says, chewing on his lip. "I know, but-"

He took the support group job on after Sam, hoping it'd help. Every session, the dull guilt of hypocrisy and the inevitability of someone calling him out on what he was-- a fraud. Trying to help others make sense of a world he couldn't, help them continue when he still hadn't figured out how to move on. A lie.

“They won't- they don’t understand. All they wanna do is take notes and try and figure out what's wrong. What if I don't want to know what's wrong?”

It's like a snap when he suddenly gets what it is, back in the doctor's couch with her opposite him. It's suffocating. He's suffocating.

He blinks hard, turning his head up to the sky.

Stars. There's a constellation hidden up there, but he doesn't know the name.

He could make a new constellation. For the way he can hear you breathing beside him and the spitfire warmth of the burnt-out logs. A constellation, and he'd name it after something you love. Rain on pavement, or videos of penguins falling over. For you and him, and the silence in the between and the words he can't distinguish the meaning for yet.

“Would it help if it wasn't, you know, that methodical?” you pipe up again. "Like talking to me, or to someone else who isn't taking notes."

He looks at you wearily. "Ain't that unethical?"

"What, talking to a friend?" You give him a smile. "No, I think we're within the laws on that one."

Steve's eyebrows upturn, and he waits for you to say something more.

"Not like therapy. Just-- anything. I won’t say anything. But you need to talk it out because I'm worried you're going to implode if you don't."

"I don't know what to say." Where to begin. How to begin. Who is he talking for? How does he do it right?

You look at him with no expectations, but a strong concern. Steve stays where he is, one hand holding a branch, one balanced on his knee.

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Whatever you want," you promise. "I'd like to hear you talk about what you want to. Even if it's about the forties, or I don't know; the MET Gala or something."

"They invited me this year."

"Of course they did."

"Don't think I'm going."

"Had a hunch."

But something you said rings out to him, forcing him to reconsider.

Steve hesitates. "You want me to talk about the 40s?"

"If you want to," you reply. "Jus' don't want you to feel like you don't have anyone to talk to. Because I'm here, I wanna listen."

Steve chews on the inside of his bottom lip.

And surprisingly, it makes sense that it's all he wants to talk about.

Going to the past is comfortable. It's calm.

"Don't know if I can get it out," he says. "I'm tired."

"Of?"

Everything, really.

"It's been a long day."

"Well, let's get some rest then," you break the silence, offer him a kind smile.

You reach down to repack the uneaten food without another argument. The ball was in his court again, and he knows that eventually he'd have to rally it back. It wasn't fair; for you to keep trying and for him to offer nothing back.

So he says, "Ask me something. Anything."

You look up at him, and his lips slight upwards in encouragement. You let the bag drop back down.

"Okay," you pause, and decide on trying to keep it light for a start. "Tell me something good."

Something good.

Like what? His favourite childhood memory or the song he finally found whose two lines he had been singing to himself over and over in the past month? Something big, with bubbling laughter and strained voices, or small with subdued contentment and blush stained cheeks?

Almost like you can sense his trepidation, you add, "I can go first."

He agrees.

"I," you begin, almost like an announcement, "saw three cats yesterday."

His eyebrows furrow. "Where?"

"Near the museum."

"I didn't see them."

"That's 'cause you were in the gift shop."

"Oh."

"You know what?" You reach over to dig through the bag. "I actually got a picture. I thought you'd might wanna see."

A thorough look at three felines lazing around in the sun is enough to convince him that the small joys of the world have not, in fact, evaded him.

"Okay, your turn," you say after tucking your phone back.

He gives a small 'hmm' in response, head turned down as he thought.

"Tell me something good, Steve Rogers."

He shouldn't be finding it as hard as he does.

"I've always wanted a dog," he settles on. "When I was a kid, all I wanted was a dog."

"You didn't have any pets growing up?"

"Not really, just a lotta strays I used to find along the way." More like Steve sneaking out several hours in a day with his food wrapped in an old handkerchief to feed some new alley cat he noticed while getting beaten up. "Closest we got to keepin' one was this Labrador. Guess his owners couldn't handle an older one so they just drove over to our town and abandoned him."

"Fucking dickheads."

"Yeah." The corner of Steve's lips lift. "We found him near our house. Called him Champ."

"What was he like?" Your chin rests on your palm as you listen intently.

"Lived up to his name." Steve shrugs. "Ma made him a vest out of an old shirt. I wrote our names on the back."

The smile on your face is infectious. "How long did he stay with you?"

"Not long. Couldn't really afford to keep one, so we searched for anyone in the neighbourhood who could take care of him. He left in a couple of weeks."

He neglects to mention how he never saw him again. Broke his whole heart, it did.

You told him to tell you something good.

So he follows it up with, "Buck tried throwing him a stick to fetch and he just sat there. Never tried again."

"What a king."

Steve exhales out a laugh. "My mom got real mad when we both showed up covered in dirt every day."

"How do you manage to convert everyone you meet into a vagabond?" you tease and Steve just shrugs, mouth stretching down in cluelessness. ""Did he grow on your mom?"

"Oh, she loved him. Wouldn't ever admit it, but I knew she was upset when he left. I told myself I'd never get one after that 'cause I'd never seen her that sad before."

As if Sarah didn't know exactly what her son was up to when he stowed half his breakfast into his pocket and left in a hurry. As if she didn't make sure there was an extra portion that she knew he wouldn't be able to finish, even if it meant giving up half of hers.

"Well, I think she would have wanted you to have a dog if you could," you say. "Maybe you could name him Champ."

Steve's mind ruminates over it for a few seconds. "Yeah, maybe."

Because the truth is, she would. Of course she would. Even if he had asked back then, even if things were a little difficult, she'd have found a way to do it for him.

"There's this picture of her I used to carry around with me everywhere."

Your head motions towards him in question. "Your mom?"

"Yeah." It sat on his mantlepiece until now, where it was back in his wallet.

Her in a white sundress, smiling brightly with her eyes squinted to avoid the glare of the sun. It was before he was born, the laugh line hadn't fully formed yet and her face didn't hold the same suffering it did in the years to come. His favourite picture of her.

"I had it in my wallet the night Ultron happened, and in the middle of that mess, it tore." He still remembers staring at it in the kitchen, knees bent over broken glass. The growing hole of despair in his stomach reassures him that maybe if he looked at it long enough it'd go back to normal. Maybe if he sits there enough he'll realise it never happened in the first place and the nausea rising to his throat was just the adrenaline wearing off.

But the call comes and the group has to reconvene and the photo, torn and jagged, finds its way back into his wallet for another day.

"Do you still have it?" you ask quietly.

"I do, yeah." He nods. "Uh... Tony got it fixed. Called it a birthday present and made me swear to never mention it again."

In exchange for not telling him how he knew about the picture in the first place, managed to sneak into his wallet and restore it without Steve ever knowing it left at all.

Your eyebrows slightly furrow. "I didn't realise y'all were that close."

"We weren't." Not really, not as much as the publicity team pushed it anyway. "But we had our moments."

In another world, they could have been friends. Respect certainly. Admiration, even, to a certain degree.

"He's my friend."

"So was I."

Steve trusted him. Would agree without a doubt that he was one of the greatest minds of the century, if not ever.

But what follows him on nights he can't sleep and days he spends thinking of things that could have been differently, is that Tony thought of him as a friend. And Steve, he thought... co-workers, acquaintances even, but friends--

He snaps his attention to you. "You got anything good to tell me?"

"I finally got around to deep cleaning my house," you say and Steve lets out a low whistle. "Yeah, I know right? Threw out all the garbage, got some new succulents."

"Who's watering them while you're gone?"

You pause. "The cute neighbour down the hall."

Steve's mouth lifts. "Cute neighbour, huh?"

"You know the one. You've heard him play the banjo when you stayed over."

"The banjo guy's watering your succulents?"

"Now when you put it like that." Your eyes narrow, eyebrows wiggling.

He doesn't notice it at first-- but there is a lightness that's replaced some of the fog in his mind. It feels almost foreign, sacrilege to admit that he does feel... better. Not good. But better than he had been earlier.

"You and banjo guy, me and the cabin owner." Steve turns to the flame that was beginning to die out. "Who woulda thought?"

"Hottest double dates in town." You poke at his leg with your stick. "They're really more cacti than succulents, so he isn't going to be over too often."

"That's a damn shame." Steve cracks a smile.

"I know." You sigh loudly in mock despair. "He plays at the community centre on Saturdays, guy's got a whole cult following on TikTok. The kids love him."

Steve didn't really try to keep up with the trends but he wasn't unaware of them. His Twitter page was mostly active, often cited as one of the most influential political accounts out there. He could tell when certain trends set in by the way his mentions would blow up, or the way his following would increase drastically. Most times it was better not to check.

"You know," he muses, "there's a whole generation of kids that hate me 'cause of the high school fitness videos."

You turn to him incredulously. "The what?"

Steve shuts his mouth.

Additional scene #2

The office is muted. Beige, white, cream. It's professional but not cold. It's calculated.

There's a table behind the swivel chair Dr Nasser sits on, but he hasn't seen her using it to date.

He's practically memorised the whole layout.

"How was your week?" she asks, clipboard balanced neatly on her leg.

Her hair was thin and pushed back behind her ears, and glasses hung from a chain around her neck. She had to be a few years younger than him, thirties he thinks, and she's got a warm look in her eye.

Steve shrugs. "Same old. How was yours?"

"It was good," she replies like always before looking back down at her sheet. "What do you mean by same old?"

“Woke up, met with people, go back home." Rinse, wash, repeat.

“So the schedule hasn't changed at all in this last month.” She finally writes something. It's rare, he never really gives her a reason to note anything down. “How are we looking on the 'time for yourself' front?"

“Lunch breaks, the occasional weekend," Steve says, picking apart the fake fern in the corner of the room with his sight. "Sometimes I pretend I’m sick.”

She cracks a smile at that. His lips quirk upwards, fingers intertwining and releasing themselves.

"Any updates on the yoga, meditation... anything of that sort?"

“Can't say there is." There are seven leaves. Last time there were eight.

“Have you met any of your friends?”

“Whenever I can.” Steve moves on to the pot in the other end of the room,

The doctor doesn’t show any sign of agreement or disagreement with his method. Only clicks her pen before looking back up at him.

"Are you comfortable Steve?"

He adjusts in his seat slightly. "I am, yes."

"I mean, during our sessions," she corrects gently. "Are you comfortable during our sessions?"

There are nine leaves in that one. Funny, there were eight last week.

"I am," he replies, one arm crossed over his chest while the other rest on the armchair.

"I'm asking because you've been coming here for weeks now, Steve, and all we’ve discussed so far is the weather."

"Cloudy today, isn’t it?” He gives her a wry smile.

She gives him a unaffected one in return.

It's not her fault. She was just doing her job, and unfortunately, got stuck with the world's most emotionally constipated man.

“Why are you here, Captain?” Dr Nasser asks finally.

“You know why, doctor.” Steve's cheek leans on his fingers, leaving behind indents.

“It’s a part of your deal, I know,” she says, “but why are you here?”

Steve’s smile is tight. “What would you want to hear?”

She writes down something on her notepad. Steve's nose twitches.

“Your actual reason why you keep coming back,” she says when she looks back up again.

Steve's brows pull together lightly at her implication, though he has no idea what it actually is.

“Why do you think I keep coming here?” he asks again.

Her head tilts. “I could name plenty of reasons why, but that’s not the point. It has to come from you.”

Steve observes her the same way she does him. A little guilt springs up in him-- she's been trying and he hasn't at all.

He clears his throat, glancing down for a second before back up. “I was told it’s the only way they’d let me come in.”

“To help with the aftermath, you said?” she clarifies, looking at the three total lines she probably had on him.

"Yes,” he replies. “Relocation, search and rescue for people missing after the battle.”

“Right, the Battle of Earth.” Dr. Nasser writes something down. He follows the movement of her pen. “We haven't talked in too much detail about that.”

He doesn’t know what’s there to talk about. Everyone knew what had happened, the details were there in a public forum. Articles upon articles, documentaries upon documentaries had been made in the few months since it had gotten over, and they were still pouring in.

So Steve asks, “What would you like to know?”

“Your side of it,” she responds. "I could read about the battle anywhere. What I’m interested in is your side, how you’re dealing with it.”

Steve wants to smile bitterly at the fact that she only knows what they wanted everyone to know, but he couldn’t tell her that either.

"I deal with it just fine, I think," he says distantly.

"What do you mean by just fine?"

If this was what one on one therapy was like, it's a wonder why he doesn't care for it much.

"Well--" he blinks-- "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Are you happy?"

"About?"

"The win," she answers. "Sad? Angry? How do you feel about the team's success?"

A win? The words rest so disgustingly on his shoulders, the weight of a double-edged sword like everything else in his life.

He got the serum only to watch the closest person he had to a mentor die in his arms. He went down with the plane only to be pulled out in a year he didn’t belong in. He fought a civil war to lose his team, the War for the Stones only to lose half the fucking planet, the Battle of Earth only to lose friends who had become family. He fought and fought and fought and over the years, he started losing himself like sand slipping through his fingers.

Steve didn’t know what win was without the burden of loss. He didn’t know happiness without tragedy, and like mortality and death, they found themselves inseparable.

“We tried our best,” he says. “I don’t think it’s up to me to judge whether we succeeded or not.”

She looks at him with a strange sort of expression, like she's deciding what to make of what he said. Trying to decipher him, like he's some puzzle to be solved.

“If I’m being honest, Steve,” she begins, “from what you've told me, it doesn’t look like you’ve given yourself time to process what happened.”

He did process what had happened and look where it got him. Dreaming of people long gone and stolen cake in army convoys.

“I’m not sure what’s left to think about, doctor.” His voice is level, methodical.

A quick glance at the wall.

A note of the time.

The doctor’s head tilted slightly, staring intently at him. “Do you feel restless, Steve?”

All the fucking time, like an itch at the back of his throat he can’t get rid of.

“Sometimes.”

“And what do you do when you do feel that way?”

“Walk around. Park’s open pretty early. There’s a gym a few blocks away.”

“Physical activity- does it help?”

“It does the trick.”

“Are you restless now?”

His fingers stop tapping against his thigh, tongue in cheek and wry when he asks, “Who, me?”

Her smile returns with the realisation that it may not have been the smartest question, head turned down.

"Why do you think you're restless?"

A glance at the wall.

A note of the time.

"Been that way since I was a kid."

She shifts in her seat, picking up her pen again. Steve's realises it's the first time he's let anything about his past slip.

"Why were you restless as a child?"

His back is still stiff against the futon, and there's thirty minutes to go.

"Had places to go, things I wanted to do," he replies unclearly.

"What's changed since then?"

Well, nothing, really. There were still places to go and things to do and to a certain degree he did want to do them. The rest was...

"My mom's not there to lock the door so I don't walk out at three in the morning."

The corner of her lip tugs up. "How old were you?"

"Seven? Maybe eight." Steve squints.

Either way, he started climbing out the window after that, so it wasn't like he was trapped.

"Where did seven year old you go at three in the morning?"

"Hung out with this neighbour kid of mine on the roof sometimes." Steve shrugs. "If it was during the day I'd go down to the store and spend a couple of hours."

"You'd spend hours at the... grocery store?" she asks, trying to clarify.

"There was a guy there I liked. He always thought I was annoying but he let me stick around." Steve smiles briefly, letting his other arm cross over his chest.

Other times-- most times-- it was with Bucky, who'd also climbed out on his fire escape to silence Steve's incessant rock throwing at his window. They didn't really have any place to go, so they did as any fifteen year old would do; jumped over the gate and into the park to skip some stones across the pond.

Steve's mind sharply wipes away the memory and his focus snaps back to the lady before him, one leg crossed over the other, arms resting on them.

She's already looking at him. He genuinely hopes he wasn't staring at her when he zoned out.

"You know, Steve," she pipes up when he doesn't say anything, "I don't know a whole lot about you even though this is our fifth session."

He exhales deeply through his nose, but his gaze is unwavering.

"But--" she looks down at the paper-- "this is the first time your answers don't seem so calculated."

Steve doesn't have any comment. He watches her twist to put aside the notepad on the table behind her.

"What does talking about the past make you feel?"

"At home."

Her eyebrows quirk up in the slightest, like she didn't expect an answer from him so soon.

"Feels familiar," he says further.

"Easy?" she offers.

He nods.

A glance at the wall.

A note of the time.

"Do you feel more connected to the past than you do with the present?"

Steve wants to get up and leave. There's still seventeen minutes to go.

"I don't know," he replies stiffly.

And just like that it's over.

There is tension in the air, mainly from his side because he knows to her, this had to be a breakthrough.

She reaches behind her to pick up the note pad again, clicking the pen against her thigh as she writes something down. Steve can feel a twinge of annoyance in him.

She finishes scribbling something. He can see she's halfway down the paper already.

"How do you feel about a little homework, Steve?"

Steve's eyes flick down to her notes and back up at her. “Haven’t really done any in the last century or so.”

"It's a small task," she explains, "just to let you embrace that part of you fully before we go forward."

Steve raises an eyebrow.

"Let's do this, shall we? Why don't you create a list of things that remind you of the past?"

"What kind of list?" His voice is a lot rougher than it had been a moment ago.

"Could be anything. List of people, places, things. If you wanna bring it in here next session too, that'd be great." She flashes him a kind smile. "What do you think?"

He thinks he's dug himself a grave here. He was having trouble enough as it was. He could already feel his mind slip past his tight grip and into a spiral.

"I'll try, I guess," he replies almost robotically.

It seems to satisfy her, though. He can tell from the look in her eyes that she’s only the littlest bit exhilarated at the crack in his shell.

“That was a lot, Steve,” she notes, leaning back slightly. “How are you feeling?”

A glance at the wall.

A note of the time.

"I feel fine," he says.

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

Pre-war au in which Steve and Bucky are the same height as canon but Steve weighs as much as Bucky did and vice verse?

Thicc, sturdy boy Steve with a good constitution, he’s got some muscle under all that doughy fat, and has a near-endless appetite — Sarah couldn’t afford much, but she could afford to put food on the table so that was always how she spoiled him, the only real way she could. So now he’s all good 5’4, but he’s pure beef — the good kind, prime, lean with good fat.

Bucky’s a good half-foot taller, but half his weight, and with none of the muscle mass. He’s got a list of allergies and intolerances a mile long, and a list chronic illnesses longer than that. He’s canon Pre-Serum Steve, but taller and with dark hair. And with some kind of health insurance too.

I headcanon often that Bucky’s parents were business owners, so maybe Steve gets a job there? Its a bakery and Steve helps out in the back, doing the heavy lifting — carrying huge sacks almost as big as he is over his shoulder. It always does things to Bucky, sat studying for college while watching this little butterball throw a fifty kilo bag like it’s nothing.

Ooooh, this is an interesting idea! I like it! 

Putting most of this under the cut because there are specific weight discussions (re: weight discussions with numbers) that can be a trigger if you’ve experienced disordered eating or eating disorders (as I have). Just FYI. 

I love this idea! The trading weight is so fun!

Although, I know right off the bat that there’s no way, looking at the movies at least, that Bucky would ever be as light as Steve was pre-serum. It’d be pretty impossible/near-deadly for Bucky (since he’s played by Seb, who’s 6’0” not 5’7” to 5’9” as Bucky is in the comics). And I don’t wanna go there exactly, so… Bucky will be very light but not that light. I’m gonna go for the skinny Steve look but not literally is weight, y’know? 

Anyway, information dump lol~

In the movies, Steve was 5’4” before the serum and weighed roughly 95lbs whereas Bucky was 6’0”, and the “average” weight for someone that size (who’s male) ranges between 160-196lbs. However,  this was during the Great Depression so it most likely would’ve been either the low end of that range of a “healthy” weight or below the range itself, since food was rationed and expensive. However. We like ‘em thick here, so just because, we’ll say that Bucky in the films, pre-war, weighs 180lbs. Meaning… using as BMI visualizer, they look like this:

(Steve left; Bucky right)

But if they swapped...

(Again, Steve left; Bucky right*)

They’d then look like this! Look at that, that fat little Steve 🤤🤤

*note: according to the BMI visualizer I was using, to get Bucky to look like Steve from before they swapped weight, he’d be 115lbs which is still very scary to me, someone that tall being that thin but… this is fiction. This is fiction. Poor baby’s never actually gonna be that light.

Looking at them is really interesting and woof, yeah, imagining Steve walking around, beefy and strong and sturdy™️ is really fucking good. Like...

His thighs rub together. He flexes and his arms are HUGE with both fat and muscle. His belly jiggles except for when he’s put in a good day's work and returns home only to scarf down as much food as he can, packing himself tight. Filling up that tank of a belly on baked sweets. Mmm. 

And poor Bucky! Baby has a lot of issues, just like canon pre-serum Steve, but also he’s got a fainting issue. So sometimes when he feels extra faint upon waking up, he just stays in bed. And if Steve isn’t out working (or if he can get away from work), he’ll stay with Bucky, getting up to fetch Bucky (but mostly himself since Bucky’s appetite is tiny) snacks or something to drink. However, when he’s in Bucky’s bed, he lets Bucky lay his head on his lap- his thighs making a nice pillow. Or he lets Bucky put his head on his fat, pillowy tummy when he begs with those big puppy-dog eyes and that soft mouth that wouldn’t even melt butter. Bucky likes the contrast between them. Skin and bones versus soft, plush fat. Well. Soft when Steve isn’t full. But it’s not that Bucky doesn’t like when Steve is stuffed, he also likes resting his head on Steve when he’s full. He might even like it more when he’s full because when he’s full his tummy gurgles and makes sounds as it tries to plow through everything Steve’s shoved into it, trying to turn all that good food into even more fat and beefy muscle. Those gurgles often put Bucky to sleep. And that fat and beef keeps him warm when he can’t do it himself. 🤤😍

And, YES, "It's a bakery and Steve helps out in the back, doing the heavy lifting - carrying huge aacks almost as big as he is over his shoulder. It always does things to Bucky, sat studying for college while watching this little butterball throw a fifty kilo bag like it's nothing."

SAME BUCKY. IT DOES THINGS TO ME. (Btw for other dumb Americans like me, 50 kilos is about 110 lbs)

Thank you for this little AU, I love it!!

[strawwritesfic]

Steve Rogers x Female!Reader: Butterfly

Summary: Boys will be boys, and boys are weird.

Rating/Warnings/Tags: T (sexual references; Bucky/Natasha; Steve & Bucky friendship; Natasha & Reader friendship; Dance Dance Revolution; not canon compliant past Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

Challenge: "160 Collective Drabbles" challenge by BobaPop on Lunaescence Archives.      

Butterfly

It all started with one of Steve and Bucky’s infamous double dates. You’d heard about them enough before dating Steve yourself to know you ought to stay as far away from such situations as was humanly possible, but Natasha wasn’t about to let you weasel out and force her to go on her own. Just when you were working up the nerve to lie to Captain America and say you simply could not risk going out that night-on account of coming down with death-flu virus, she showed up at your door with a makeup bag in hand. That was only your first indication that your life was about to take a definite, unwanted swerve.

The date itself wasn’t too bad, really. Steve and Bucky behaved themselves better than you expected. No big fights over dinner. No one even said anything about your makeup; Steve just gave you his standard you-look-beautiful smile, which made you wish you hadn’t let Natasha near your face all the more. Dinner was delightful, dessert sublime, and you actually found yourself enjoying being out with your boyfriend, his best friend, and his best friend’s girlfriend, despite all four of you being super spies to some degree.

It was on the way home when things actually began to fall apart. The restaurant had been selected due to its close proximity to a movie theater you and Steve were headed to afterward, while Natasha and Bucky went home to a more intimate night. You hadn’t thought twice about the restaurant being inside the same mall until your little quartet passed an arcade full to bursting with teens and pre-teens that Friday night.

“What’s that?” Steve pulled to a complete stop. Since you were arm in arm with him, you did too.

Two lanky girls could be seen on a brightly flashing machine a few steps inside. A crowd had gathered around to watch them stomp to the rhythm of music blaring from the machine’s speakers.

Bucky released Natasha’s hand to backtrack to you and Steve.

“Obviously that’s a dubstep party game,” he observed after watching the girls leap and come crashing down onto the metal bases to wild applause. He tugged Steve down into a headlock and pushed his flesh knuckles into Steve’s skull. “Did your brain fall out while you were busy playing hero without me?”

“Don’t act like you know everything about this time period,” Steve said, struggling to break free of Bucky’s grip.

“I know a hell of a lot more than you, punk. Which one of us was conscious the last seventy years, and which one was getting his beauty sleep?”

“It’s really too bad, because you could use some beauty sleep, Buck.”

“I feel sorrier for you. You got some, but you’re so ugly even seven decades couldn’t fix your face.”

You rolled your eyes. Quiet though you might have been, even you couldn’t stand Steve and Bucky for long when they started tearing into each other like that.

“Steve,” you said, as they began to wrestle right there in the foyer. He ignored you, even when you placed a hand on his bicep. “We’re going to miss the movie.”

“You’ve clearly got permanent brain damage. Anyone could tell that isn’t dubstep,” he told Bucky.

“Oh yeah? Tell me, does your list of things to catch up on this century only include garbage?” Bucky asked.

“Oh, for the love of–” You turned to see that Natasha had sidled up next to you. “Jim, I’m leaving.”

“Okay.”

“You’re coming with me.”

Bucky looked up. “Do I have to?”

Sometimes you believed Natasha when she lamented that Bucky’s bromance with Steve was deeper than Bucky’s romance with her. Still, she handled it with more grace than you would have, merely arching a single eyebrow. “Do you want to see me naked tonight?”

The answering pause was just a little too long. “Yes.”

“Then yes. Let Steve and [Name] get to their movie. Who cares about a couple of kids playing Dance Dance Revolution?”

“Dance?” Bucky echoed, turning back to the arcade.

“That’s dancing?” said Steve.

“It’s a rhythm game from Japan,“ you explained.

“Who cares where it’s from?” Bucky asked, grinning as he stepped away from Steve. “If it’s got the word ‘dance’ involved, no way can Steve do it.”

“I’ve gotten better, you know. [Name] and I do go dancing sometimes. I didn’t step on her toes once last time. Right, [Name]?” Steve asked.

“Er…it’s not really the same kind of dancing,” you answered carefully.

Steve frowned, then turned hotly back to his friend. “Doesn’t matter. I could beat you at Dance Dance Revolution with my hands tied behind my back, Barnes.”

“Fine,” said Bucky. “Two weeks from now, you and me, back here, hardest level.”

“Deal!”

“And–”

“Jim,” Natasha said warningly.

“Coming, Talia.”

That should have been the end of it. You’d thought that was the end of it. Steve was perfectly attentive for the rest of your date, and the arcade was long closed by the time you got out of the movie. The boys might have had super-soldier memories, but they usually got over their scuffles pretty quick these days so they could move on to the next one. You fully expected Steve to complain about Bucky’s nerve for a few days more, then forget all about their little bet.

What you got instead…wasn’t that.

“So I was thinking we could try somewhere new for lunch today,” you told him a week later.

“Uh-huh.”

“A new vegan place just opened up around the corner. We could walk there, and it’s healthy.”

“Yep.”

“Thing is, they’re only open for a few hours for each meal, so we had better get going now so we don’t wait in line for nothing.”

“Right.”

“Steve.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you listening to me?”

The vague noise he made in answer wasn’t necessary. Steve hadn’t listened to you for nearly seven straight days. He had arrived at your apartment that morning as he had every morning since that stupid double date: carrying an old PlayStation 2 and 25 thin plastic dance mats in his arms. There were already six torn-up pads sitting shoved up against the opposite wall along with your sofa. Something told you Steve’s seventh wouldn’t last much longer.

A loud buzz interrupted your quiet seething. Steve didn’t react at all, which made some sense since this wasn’t his place. Still, you were starting to feel like Steve’s bromance with Bucky was more important than Steve‘s romance with you, too. You hunched your shoulders as you stalked over to press the button on the intercom.

“Who is it?” you asked.

“Natasha.”

“Come on in.”

A few seconds after you buzzed her up, there was a knock at your door. You didn’t think Steve’s music was loud enough to disturb your neighbors (just his stamping around), but Natasha figured out what was going on immediately.

“Let me guess,” she said. “Your idiot is obsessively playing DDR, too.”

“How’d you know?” you asked flatly, opening the door up enough for her slip inside.

“Oh, only because Jim insisted on stopping by Game Stop after our date last week and he hasn’t stopped playing since. I don’t even think he’s sleeping.”

“Steve’s sleeping, but only because he won’t stay the night and his apartment’s too small for all that jumping.”

“Are you really just going to sit here and watch him all afternoon?”

You shrugged. “I don’t have much else to do on my days off. I was trying to convince him to take a break and go get lunch.”

“At that new vegan place?” Natasha brightened up considerably. “I’ll go with you. I have got to get somewhere with less testosterone.”

So lunch was nice that day. Dinner was considerably less so. As the days wore on, you found yourself spending more and more time with Natasha, to the point that by the time the two weeks were up you seriously wondered if dumping Steve so you could date her instead might have been the easiest solution available to you. Too bad Natasha wasn’t really your type–and that Steve was so cute when he was excited about something.

“[Name], what are you doing?” he asked over your breakfast before his and Bucky’s big DDR showdown.

You had only just showered, dressed, and put a bowl of organic oatmeal in the microwave, and there Steve was, standing fully clothed in your kitchen.

“What are you doing in here?” you asked, bewildered. You certainly couldn’t remember letting him inside this morning.

Steve waved away your confusion. “I never left. I was up all night practicing.”

Of course. Your boyfriend wouldn’t stay over to cuddle with you, but he would stay over to cram in a few extra hours of video games. Somehow, this wasn’t the life you had envisioned for yourself when Captain America had asked you out. You decided it prudent not to comment on his priorities as you took your oatmeal out of the microwave.

“I’m eating breakfast. You should have some, too,” you told him.

“I’m not hungry,” said Steve. A blatant lie, considering he could eat whole mountains of bran cereal on mornings he hadn’t spent the entire night before exercising. What on earth was this contest turning him into? “Besides, there’s no time. We’re late enough as it is.”

“Late for what?”

“For DDR. We want to get there before a crowd starts to form.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Bad?”

“You don’t want anybody seeing you wipe out, do you?”

Steve flushed faintly. “No!”

“Uh-huh.” Maybe you would have been sympathetic, if he hadn’t spent the past fourteen days ignoring you. “Well, go on. Don’t let me stop you.”

“You’re…not coming? [Name], you have to come.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you there.” You shot him a look and Steve added, “and the loser has to buy lunch for everyone afterward. We could try out that vegan restaurant you were talking about a few weeks ago.”

He didn’t realize you had been there three times already with Natasha. For one second, you considered telling Steve where he could cram his remaining dance pads. But he was Steve, after all, and you missed him even when he was incredibly stupid when it came to Bucky.

“Fine,” you groaned.

Steve beamed, placed both hands on your shoulders, and bent to swiftly kiss you once on each cheek. “Thank you.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his affection, but still told him “you owe me one” as you threw on your jacket and headed out the door.

“For what?” Steve asked.

Sigh.

Natasha must have felt the same way. She appeared as annoyed as you’d ever seen her as she and Bucky crossed the street to you and Steve in front of the arcade. Her hands were shoved into the front pockets of her coat.

“Hey,” you said to her, not Bucky. Bucky did not deserve a hello. If he hadn’t started this whole affair, the last two weeks would not have been as frustrating for you and Natasha.Not that Bucky noticed your snub, busy as he was eyeing Steve and the vacant DDR machine in turns.

“Hi,” Natasha replied. “Ready to get this over with?”

“Can we please?”

Steve and Bucky were doing stretches, looking very serious. A couple of kids playing hooky smirked at them from over by the Mortal Kombat cabinet. This went on for several minutes before Bucky started looking around for his girlfriend–a first in a long time, you’d hazard a guess.

“We’re ready for you,” he said when he found her.

Hard-faced, Natasha crossed her arms and took a deep breath and a step forward.

“The rules are as follows,” she said in a deadpan. “Best score over three songs wins. No do-overs. No extensions. No sabotaging the other player. Stay on your own pad. Got it?”

“Got it,” said Bucky and Steve and unison. They took their places and prepared to slip several quarts into the machine’s slot.

“One more thing,” said Natasha. “[Name] picks to the songs.”

“What?” Steve said.

“Why?” said Bucky.

“Because she deserves to after this mess, and that way I won’t have to listen to you whine about how the other guy cheated or that I picked songs so Bucky would win.”

“She’ll pick songs so Steve wins!” Bucky protested.

“Really? Would you now?” Natasha lifted both eyebrows this time as she looked at you.

Wincing slightly at her forcibly dragging you into this feud, you moved closer to the dance floor’s edge. No need to tell Steve how really peeved you’d been; he looked concerned enough as it was.

“Keep rotating through the music until I feel you to stop,” you said.

Though he didn’t look happy about it, Bucky did as he was told. There were a lot of songs, most of which sounded to you like Steve’s dubstep phase–that being a lot of unnecessary noise. But there was one that sounded kind of nice.

“Stop,” you commanded. “That one. I like that one.”

Bucky snorted. “Butterfly? Seriously?”

“It doesn’t have many feet, [Name],” said Steve. Certainly the little level indicators next to it didn’t go very high compared to some of the other songs Bucky had looped through.

“You heard the woman,” Natasha said. “Now move it up to the highest level and get on with it. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in this arcade.”

The men exchanged looks, then, with an obvious lack of grace, lifted their legs at the exact same time to press the arrows until the mode read “challenge.”

The game began. Immediately the screen became so full of arrows that you had no idea what was going on. Somewhere some woman was singing about butterflies and samurais and the colors in the sky, but you could hardly make her out through all of Bucky and Steve’s frantic steps on the pads. Their uncoordinated movement looked to you like only putting one foot down at a time when your estimate told you they’d need about eight mats apiece and twelve legs to clear whatever that minefield was supposed to be.

Just as soon as it started, the song ended. “Failure,” a deep, booming voice rang out as a picture of a metal gate clanged across the screens.

“What?” Steve cried, indignant.

“Come on!” said Bucky.

“Weird,” said Natasha, “that a serum designed to make you a good soldier during World War II isn’t also designed to make you good at Japanese rhythm games.”

“If it had,” Steve panted, “we would have won the war a hell of a lot faster.”

Bucky was less generous. “I’d like to see you do batter, Natalia.”

Much to your surprise, Natasha grinned. “Gladly. Come on, [Name].”

“What?” You stepped back. “Me?”

“Sure. Let’s show them how it’s done. We’re not going to do it on that insane mode they did, though.” She stepped up as Steve and Bucky left, producing a roll of quarters from one of her pockets. Must have expected this result.

“Hey! Then what’s the point?” asked Bucky.

Natasha rolled her eyes “Please. You couldn’t have even passed a beginner mode chart with those moves. [Name] and I will fill in for you two–whichever us wins, wins for her boyfriend–but we are not going to make fools of ourselves in public, no matter how amusing it was to watch you do it.”

“She’s got a point,” Steve murmured.

“Shut up, Steve,” Bucky said.

If Natasha wasn’t going to make you try to step on twelve thousand arrows at once, you figured it was worth a shot. All of that watching Steve for the past two weeks had to have paid off somehow, right? You took your place on the pad beside her, and soon Butterfly was starting up again, this time on a level just slightly above beginner.

You weren’t great-she was definitely a lot better, racking up perfect combos while you got mostly goods–but you had fun. So much fun that the song was over just a little too quickly. You tried to catch your breath while waiting for your scores: An AA* for Natasha and a B for you.

Steve applauded as you turned around. Bucky appeared slightly more surly.

“Good enough for you?” Natasha asked him.

“Wasn’t challenge mode,” Bucky said. “Not hard enough.”

“Let he who can pass challenge mode pass judgement,” she said brightly, and swung off the pole and onto the floor. “And since you couldn’t even do what I just did, I think it’s about time for you to put your money where your mouth is.”

“Guess it doesn’t really matter. Natalia won, which means I won, which means Stevie is buying us all lunch. Let’s go!”

“Suppose I owe it to you,” said Steve, “after all those pathetic dance moves. Maybe you would have done better on a full stomach.”

“You did every bit as bad as me, pal. Don’t go pretending you could hold a candle to my girl. Now make with the lunching.”

Natasha groaned. There they went all over again. What was next? A House of the Dead marathon? Because if you were going to have to listen to these two trade quips with each other over zombie headshots, you were out of there.

“No,” you blurted over their arguing.

This time they both went quiet.

“No?” asked Bucky.

“No what?” Steve agreed.

“No,” you repeated, hopping onto the carpet. “I’m not going. Lunch by yourselves.”

Steve and Bucky looked dumbstruck. You had never so blatantly refused Steve’s company before, and most women even these days didn’t refuse Bucky’s. Natasha just smiled a knowing smile and leaned her arm on your shoulder.

“[Name]’s right. I don’t think that was your win anyway, James,” she said.

“Then whose win was it?” he demanded.

“Common sense’s. And since we’re the only ones here with that, it’s [Name] and I’s win together. We don’t want another double date.”

“What we want is our boyfriends back,” you said. “The only thing Steve’s paying for is to take me out. Not Bucky again.”

“If you disagree,” Natasha added with a further smile, “I can personally guarantee that I will make your lives a living hell. Both of you.”

They exchanged another look.

A second later, Steve came forward to take your hand. “Right,” he said. “Lunch. You and me. Where do you want to go? That vegan place?”

“Anywhere. Wherever you want to go.”

It was with great relief that you let Steve guide you out of the arcade, through the mall, and up the busy street. Just before you left, you heard Bucky talking to Natasha:

“You know, you don’t have to be so persuasive.”

“Don’t I?” she replied.

Then Steve was speaking to you, and whatever was going between Natasha and Bucky didn’t matter anymore.

“Was I really ignoring you that much?” he asked. “You should have said something.”

“I did, Steve. Several times. You were too busy ripping those dance pads apart to notice.”

“Oh. Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Now that this over with, I don’t need the rest of them. I’m thinking about donating all that stuff to the YMCA.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” you said, thinking of all the room you would have back in your apartment. These dreams were dashed almost as soon as they appeared.

“On the other hand, maybe I should keep them. For when Bucky and I have a real rematch.”

Clearly, you were going to have to get used to this idea: If you were going to date Steve, you were going to have to do a lot of sharing with Bucky Barnes. At least Natasha was in the same boat–and at least sometimes Steve could focus on you just long enough to have a nice lunch.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JUNE 22

Big action! Twisty plots! They can only mean one thing: summer. Big blockbusters are back in theaters, and so am I! This month’s list of recommendations is on the short side, but there are still top 10 picks, including three movies fresh to the big screen or streaming.

June Crowd-Pleasers

1. Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

The kind of blockbuster that is making people who aren’t passionate about movies to become passionate about this movie. I’ve talked with many in the last few weeks who have said they haven’t seen or don’t like the 1986 Top Gun or action movies in general, but they all left in love with this sequel. As one who is passionate about movies and loves Top Gun, I also gotta say it took my breath away. Be sure to see it on the big screen for the ultimate thrill ride. Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 8/10

2. Chip ’n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)

Apparently Rescue Rangers was a TV show starring Chip and Dale in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s—that means nothing to me. What does mean something to me: John Mulaney and Andy Samberg teaming up to voice animated chipmunks and inviting their pals (like Will Arnett, Keegan Michael-Key, Chris Parnell, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, J.K. Simmons, and—wait, Steve Curtis Chapman?) to join this hilarious Who Framed Roger Rabbit?-style adventure. Now make Aunt-Man, you cowards! Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

3. Double Feature—Police Action Thrillers: Chaos (2005) + Copshop (2021)

Fun fact about me: I’ll watch Jason Statham in pretty much anything, and…I’m pretty much on my way to doing that. Chaos (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10) is one of the most watchable action B-movies he’s been in (and believe me, “watchable” is higher praise for his canon than you’d think—you can only remake The Italian Job so many times). Statham, Ryan Phillippe, and Wesley Snipes lead a twisty bank robbery plot that may surprise you even with its hackneyed setup. That’s also true for Copshop (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), which is a twisty prison break plot Gerard Butler, Frank Grillo, and Alexis Louder turn into something fun. Pair these movies together for an afternoon of action comfort food.

4. Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Look, we can sit around and pick at its flaws, but that is not this review. Here are three things I loved about this movie (which is part of a franchise you know I love):

Dominion is by far the most intellectually curious of the World movies, asking big questions about ethics in science, how we cope with impending disaster, and our responsibility to each other. These are all-time questions but feel especially relevant to our time in how they're presented, and I don’t think any Jurassic movie has been this curious since ’93.

It reunited my Avengers (Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill) and gave them appropriate and consistent arcs for each of them, not just cameos! Even better, it let Goldblum be Goldblum, which was my biggest wish for this movie.

It featured some of the most fun set pieces of the World series: That chase in Malta! A triple giant dino fight! Scary locust! Even better, homages to the past and the fresh-to-the-franchise ideas were in balance.

Maybe another day I will write about the things that did not work, but I'm still reveling in the Dern and dinos at the moment. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

5. Runaway Jury (2003)

2003: My dad dragged me to see this in theaters though I insisted I wasn't interested. To this day it is still only one of two movies I've ever fallen asleep during at the cinema. (The other was Master and Commander, which I did want to see. Apparently 2003 was a bad year for holding my attention.)

Father's Day 2022: Finally finished it with Dad! Though I’m feeling validated this movie was not for a pre-teen me, it’s quite fun for adults who understand of how juries work. Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman are competing to chew the most scenery, and John Cusack and Rachel Weisz may or may not be your classic John Grisham heroes to root for in this twisty conspiracy plot. PSA: I am ready for John Cusack to make a comeback at anytime. If you have any influence in the matter, I appreciate you using it to make whatever we're watching better. All team-ups with Joan welcome. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

June Critic Picks

1. It’s Always Fair Weather (1953)

I don’t care what you say—Gene Kelly’s tap dance in roller skates here confirms my love for the terrible-yet-delightful Xanadu. The Turner Classic Movies intro informed me this was pitched as a sequel to On the Town but was reworked when Frank Sinatra and Jules Munshin were unavailable. Knowing this does make me wish the OG team could’ve reunited for that vision—the other two guys felt like filler, not like a part of a true ensemble—but I’m such a sucker for Kelly and Cyd Charisse that their dancing and the fun premise covers those weaknesses. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

2. And the Oscar Goes to… Podcast

TCM host Jacqueline Stewart is putting together a podcast about pivotal Oscar ceremonies? You don’t have to tell me twice to subscribe. Listen for insight on how the Academy Awards overlap with politics, social change, the history of film in in 1940, 1957, 1973, 2002, and more.

3. Margin Call (2011)

I can’t pretend I understand all the economic, um, stuff in this inspired-by-the-2008-financial-collapse drama, but I do understand the power of a top-notch cast to create suspense even with a clueless audience. Paul Bettany, Jeremy Irons, Demi Moore, Zachary Quinto, Stanley Tucci, and more will get you invested even if you’re like me and have zero interest in Wall Street. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10 

4. Good Reads

A miscellaneous Round Up of links that appeared in my inbox and Twitter feed I’m happy to put in yours.

“The Jonas Brothers Are 'Better' Than They've Ever Been: 'We're Having the Time of Our Lives,’” People.com (2022) - I’ve never felt more seen than when People listed 100 reasons to love American and made the Jonas Brothers #1 

“The 25 Most Quintessential 1980s Soundtracks, From Top Gun and Footloose to Do the Right Thing and Repo Man,” Variety.com (2022) - Because no other decade has done soundtracks like the ‘80s 

“A New Golden Age Emerges for O.G. Film Stars,” HollywoodReporter.com (2022) - A follow-up of my recommendations of Top Gun: Maverick and Jurassic World Dominion 

“Labor Exploitation, Explained by Minions,” Vox.com (2022) - This is a little ridiculous—few things in life deserve to be analyzed less than the Minions—but it’s so well-written I couldn’t help but get a kick out of it 

“What Would You Like to Know?” Vulture.com (2022) - You know I wouldn’t scroll past a Joe Alwyn profile 

“I’m Not Afraid of Stephen King Books Because I Know Maine Isn’t Real,” McSweeneys.net (2022) 

“The Lord of the Rings Hobbit Stars Reunite for 'Smash It Out of the Park' Dinner,” EW.com (2022) - My heart!

5. Letter From an Unknown Woman (1948)

Joan Fontaine strikes again! Here she’s a lovesick groupie of a handsome pianist (Louis Jourdan) who basically wills a relationship with him into existence. It’s a tragic romance that will make you swoon over their affair and the gowns. Another entry on my Letterboxd list “’40s Gals Just Trying to Live Their Best Lives BUT SOCIETY.” Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

Also this June…

My Best Picture Project continues slowly but surely with How Green Was My Valley, aka the film that beat Citizen Kane for Best Picture. If this kind of movie isn’t your cup of tea, this especially slow-paced drama won’t be for you. But if historical family dramas make you feel warm and cozy, it’s worth checking out. Read my Crowd and Critic reviews.

On SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I released a new episode the HBO sitcom(?) The Comeback. What real life lawsuit may have inspired a storyline on the show? Is it possible for a show to be cringier than the character of April Nardini on Gilmore Girls? (Spoiler alert: Yes.) And what on Earth is the “that” no one wants to see? Get the documentary crew ready to follow us on our journey!

And in ep. 123, Lorelai is comparing Rory’s new apartment to an Irish memoir and a ‘70s sitcom—you know, like you do all the time. How were we introduced to these references by two modern sitcoms? What do Harry Potter actors have to do with Angela’s Ashes? Can you still go to the Sanford and Son junkyard? And are Rory’s new digs with Paris really as bad as the homes Lorelai is referencing?

[kaypeace21]

i'm losing hope of byler being an endgame :( milevens say that we are invalidating mileven, besides having several scenes that they show "passion/love". they make fun of us, besides always giving reasons why mileven is an endgame, and disrespecting other people's ship, and maybe actually Will will be with another boy right?? idk but I really hope I'm not being deluded

lol  lets not focus on byler for a sec and mostly discuss mileven. what scenes show mileven’s  ‘passion/love’? Because the show invalidates mileven constantly-why they’re so aggressive/afraid of us.THEY KNOW IT’S DOOMED (they live in head canons and nothing else).  I’m going to try keeping this short by doing bullet points.

-The writers in s3 threw in a telemarketing joke just for Mike to say “El. no. sorry not interested” and hang up the phone. 

- Flo  in s1: “only love makes you that crazy and that damn stupid.”

Mike: “if we’re both going crazy. we’ll go crazy together right?”will: “yeah, crazy together “ *smile and stare longingly at eachother *————————————————————-Mike: “they do say it makes you crazy”El: “what makes you crazy?”(the exact opposite of crazy together as she continues to be confused over every explanation he gives of love 😂)————————————————————-During the byler fight  Mike says “el’s not stupid!” After this, Will calls himself “ so stupid “ 4x .  rips up photo where they said they’d go crazy together and cries . But, El after fighting with mike happily says: “there’s more to life than STUPID boys .”  El’s catchphrase being “not stupid” which she says in s2 before going to see Mike at the school. And Nancy before Mike says he loves El / Mikeduring the byler fight (about mileven) say “El’s not stupid!”

original gifs  sources

-the s3 stobin confession parallels mileven’s s3 shop confession (full analysis in link). Both El/Robin have bandages on their legs and both pairings sit together (on the floor) during their confessions- and are interrupted by Dustin. And in both straight baits- the guys use the terms “stupid/crazy” but subvert the expectation of it being romantic-as both girls say they’re not “crazy” or “stupid” for the guy. El saying “what makes you crazy?” in response to Mike. And Robin saying she was not into Steve’s “stupid hair” (similar to El saying there’s more to life than ‘stupid boys’/other saying she’s not stupid.”Also the song ‘the first i love you’ only plays twice in s3. During Steve’s romantic confession and robin rejecting him because she’s gay & El’s romantic confession and awkward kiss with mike (where Mike doesn’t reciprocate). Cause Robin/Mike are both gay and will reject the romantic confession.

- Erica making he-man and barbie kiss: “Hey , They’re in love!”Lucas (livid- and standing right next to a rainbow forcing them apart): “No, actually,  they’re not. they’re not even from the same planet.”  El even watches he-man in s1! Mileven is not in love!

Cue El and mike being compared to ET and Eliot -WHO AREN’T FROM THE SAME PLANET (by the Duffers in multiple interviews and in the pilot script ) .   And then there’s the  old euphemism of “girls come from Venus, and boys come from Mars”.  The Duffers saying mileven isn’t in love cause they’re not from the same planet (aka the same gender) -is just them telling us Mike is gay so he can’t fall for El-who is a girl/diff species. They literally have Will say to Mike “welcome to my world” as a contrast. So El telling mike he should ‘stick with his own species’ (aka boys) is another gay hint.

In s2 they even had El wear the same shirt as a 1986 movie character (staring Winona Ryder). The movie is called coincidentally “lucas”- and he’s in an unrequited romantic relationship with a gal named maggie. And he later says him and Maggie are  from “different worlds.” El being movie-Lucas in a unrequited romance, in this scenario. And the other easteregg is the Duffers have st-Lucas  say the “planet/worlds” similar to movie-Lucas.

some milevens also attribute romeo/juliet to mileven cause Dustin mentioned it while mileven was out of shot. But romeo & juliet weren’t actually in love-it was just kids in infatuation. And also used to describe the unrequited infatuation of Lucas/Maggie.

-Also when dustin in s1 says el is “like a wizard” (like Will.) Mike corrects dustin and says “more like yoda”. Really hammering down the alien references- which the Duffers reference to el in interviews all the time-by comparing her to et . In the pilot they even said mike and el are like “Eliot and et.” They said they made el dress like a ghost cause et did so- and then for the extra burn they made mike a ghost hunter/buster. And they also said that EL’s makeover in s1 was like et’s in the movie. And sorry ... who compares the girl they “crush on” with a green gross alien (yoda)- kind of shows how he sees her more as this foreign superpowered entity rather than a girl/crush. And on what planet is et /Eliot romantic??Answer is -it’s not. 

- In contrast, They have Mike and Will parallel  Diane and Venkman. In ghost Busters, Mike -is Venkman- and Will -is Dana Barret- who Venkman flirts with shamelessly until she is possessed. Dana finds a demon-dog in her fridge, and hires the ghost busters. And right before Venkman goes on a date with her she is possessed by the big-bad, Zuul, and is transformed into the gate-keeper (who controls demo(n)-dogs). Venkman proceeded to try to talk to the real Dana , ignoring her possessed form and eventually realizes how serious her condition is, is forced to sedate her. Eventually with the help of his team, Venkman closes the gate to Zuul’s dimension, rescuing Dana in the process. And Venkman plants one on Dana before riding away in triumph. While, El is a ghost and Mike is a ghost hunter XD

Notice in the same season lucas says mileven is ‘not in love’ and compares mileven to he-man and barbie .  Dustin has a  he-man & Et next to each other (along with a ghost buster sign above them, and the ghostbusters-trap next to et). This just reinforces the mileven eastereggs I’ve already talked about -  and how they want you to make the connections  about mileven not being in love. They showed et/barbie next to he-man, had El watch he-man, compared El to Et (who had a barbie-like makeover/ghost costume), so the next he-man ref of ‘not being in love’  cause rhey’re from different planets would connect in a more obvious way to mileven.  Same with Et next to the ghost trap and ghost busters sign (and El dressing as a ghost and Mike as a ghost buster-as an extra burn).

- Mike dehumanizing El is hammered down again when they compare s1 mileven to s2 dart /dustin (a demo dog) , to further show how un-romantic it is. Fin even said the duffers told him Mike saw el (OFFENSIVELY) as a “puppy’ (right after s1).  And of course millie accurately said “what a horrible way to describe me!”But the parallels are there: Dustin/Mike sharing sweets ( nougat vs eggos) for breakfast and saying they’ll have to wait for them to come home from school. And having mike annoyed, say  “a bond? cause you shared nougat?!” is dissing milevens who think the ego thing is cute/romantic. Dustin/Mike saying they ‘promised’ to take care of them and that they ‘trust’ dustin & mike. Dart killing a cat and El almost killing a cat. Dustin/Mike trying to convince Lucas- Dart & El aren’t bad. The boys thinking both El & Dart were bad guys causing both to end up running away because of that. Mike even admits in s1 he doesn’t like eggos and told El she doesn’t have to eat “like a dog” anymore.  it’s ironic when Mike says to Dustin “she’s not a dog” cause he treated her as such. Why El says in s3 angrily , “am I your pet?” It’s because he did/does unfortunately treat her this way to some degree. 

-They Parallel Mileven to Hopper & El (since mileven isn’t actually romantic)!

*teaching the meaning of promise vs com-promise. And making “promises” to eachother is not some super romantic thing- for just mileven.

* Telling her to eat “real food” vs eggos

* saying her new look is “cool”and saying it’s “bitchin” after El says the look is.

* Saying others are “corrupting her” and in response gals say neither respect her ability to make “decisions” in regards to romance. Hopper not accepting Mileven together (want them to break up)  and Mike not accepting she dumped him.

* Max saying to not let Hopper/Mike control her

*El saying “you lie” to both of them

ok , back to listing other points

- they dance to ‘every breath you take’ a break up song about a stalker ex who can’t accept he is now with her friend. The writer of the song also has said many times “it’s NOT a love song.” The duffers obviously knew that. Lumax also danced to it and Lucas was called a ‘stalker’ . El also stalked Mike in s2 (all that stuff milevens found romantic- El watching him without him knowing. Mike says he was not ok with it in s3). And in s3 he said not to do that and she just says ‘i make my own rules’.Plus, sting (the singer) mentions it’s supposed to sound romantic but the lyrics are sinister. And that the ambiguity/deceptive happy -romantic tone was intentional. Kind of like how people think mileven is healthy and in love when the show (ambiguosly says ) that it’s not -and the “opposite”.Just like the song being misinterpreted as romantic because of its deceptive packaging -mileven is the same . Mileven got popular cause everyone missed all the warning signs it wasn’t healthy (cause it was packaged as ‘cute’ and ‘ in love’) when behind the surface it was shown to be the opposite and not healthy.

 Not to mention Nancy teaching Dustin how to dance is a direct parallel to Mike teaching El. 

Mike also tries to act like Dustin, and  forces Will to dance with a girl (who’s wearing a rainbow hair clip). Trying to be a good sport like Dustin is about lumax. And right after this we see Dustin look sad about Max/Lucas dancing and Mike (next to Dustin) look sadly at Will/girl dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these 2 shots to emphasize their sadness/jealousy.Then they both sit down (mirroring each other) on the verge of tears before Nancy and El show up to comfort them and distract them.  As El once again (presumably) wears Nancy’s dress. Mike after El asks “will you be my brother?” “you cant go  (to the snowball) with your sister... i mean you can but it’d be really weird.” 

- before their first kiss in s1 she asked if he would be like her brother (after being compared to a cousin, and being compared to Holly, and wearing Nancy’s dress.) In s2 they even make a direct parallel to Luke &Leia (who were siblings who had a weird romantic relationship/kissed before realizing they were related). Mike (as Leia) saying “it’s a trap” to El (Luke). 

- Mike in s1 writes a d&d story for Will inspired by star wars.  in ep one Will tells Mike “it was a 7, the demogorgan it got me.”At the end of the season Mike writes a whole story of him and his friends killing a 7 headed monster, and showing the decapitated head of the monster to king Tristan (Will). Similar to how at the hospital he tells Will to not worry cause “it’s dead now”. This is right after Will rolls a 14 (cause Mike and Will are 7s together). And Mike who is a fan of starwars has King Tristan give them medals after killing the monster. Cause he wants Will/king tristan (instead of Leia -a girl) to present him with medals and be his romantic love interest (and praise him for being a hero).

- They had Dustin call mileven “bullshit” just like stancy (who were never in love). And in s3 for almost every single character in the show to dislike mileven . if that isn’t a cry for help from the writers idk what is XD

other stancy parallels: Making out on a bed to cheesy music. stancy wasn’t in love but they kissed the most in the series and nancy and steve (similar to mileven exchanged ‘i love yous’) but weren’t endgame and it was never love. Mike and Steve sing to their gfs and neither girls are fans and cut them off.In s1, both Nancy/Mike slap Steve and El and then both yell “ What is wrong with you?!”  Stancy/mileven are compared to Karen/ted who according to Nancy “never loved each other”. El is a fan of ted’s lazy boy. (Karen in s3 looks at Ted in the chair when the lyric “I should have walked away “ plays). And Steve and ted continuing to eat chicken as their gf /wife storm off from the table upset , and they do nothing. After the mileven and Karen/Ted fight- Steve says while eating “what did I do?what did i do?” And mike while eating says about el after their fight “what did i do wrong? what did i do wrong?!Steve and Ted both tell Mike to “stay on the bench/you’re on the bench.” Karen/ ted that they “never loved each other” (just like mileven and stancy which are “bullshit.”) All 3 wheelers were with people cause it seemed like the rational choice ( rich guy/ popular guy/ girl). Not to mention mike said “ I don’t remember” ( in reference to saying he loved el ) . And doesn’t say it back when el says “I love you”. Which mimics Nancy in s2 saying “I don’t remember ” (saying the stancy relationship is bs) . And she is also unable to say she loves Steve when he says“say you love me.” And Steve and el walking away as both wheelers stand there in silence. Unable to say “I love you” back.  Also, when stancy officially breakup it also pans to mileven on the porch as another parallel.And 11byers mentioned (at Christmas)  jancy has a moment but despite stancy’s issues she goes back to Steve where she looks sad over the decision .  Similar to how Byler have a moment , but then after , mileven talks about christmas  and they have that awkward kiss. In s3, steve when talking about stancy and trying to be popular even says “dustin’s right it’s all a bunch of bullshit.” (meaning Dustin’s right about mileven). Steve even says “everything people tell you is important that you’re supposed to care about- it’s bullshit.” (same season Mike mimics Lucas’ words from s1 about El being the “most important thing”.

-They also had Mike tell Max “i don’t hate you. I don’t even know you.”  Aka he can’t hate Max or love el cause he knew both for a week-and doesn’t know them. The amount of mileven burns that were in s2 -were insane XD.

other direct contrasts between Mileven & byler 

besides the ones already mentioned. 1) ‘crazy together/so stupid’ vs ‘what makes you crazy?/el’s not stupid/more to life than stupid boys & 2) ‘they’re not in love they’re not even from the same planet’ vs byler’s ‘welcome to my world’

3) Mike has drastically different expressions after the byler/mileven fights and the difference in weather and music selection ,convey how Mike is feeling. He looks regretful with Will, and almost annoyed with El dumping him.  Mileven breaks up to upbeat music on a sunny day (the break up being in front a crowd and a joke) vs the morose music and the storm shown (with just Mike and Will fighting ). We are supposed to take the byler fight seriously and the mileven one as a joke.They had Mike apologize to Will immediately. But with El he says “what did i do wrong?’ (Kind of like how ted, after pissing off karen says “what did I do?”)And then had Mike wait by the phone for her to apologize- says sexist stuff about her. Then have mike laugh/burp and talk about cheese and El to laugh about the break up/high five max and immediately oggle a pic of another boy/male celeb (unlike Will who looks sadly at the pic of Mike after their fight). And then after staring at the  teen-male celeb,  El says she’s not sure if  Mike’s a good kisser cause he’s just her “first boyfriend” and she has no other boys to compare him to (implying she’s thinking of other boys in the future).  Contrasted to Will who said he thought him & Mike would never get gfs but just spend the rest of their lives together. El after all these events, then happily reads comics  as Max says she shouldn’t hang out with Mike all the time. VS Will having him sadly read his comic to distract himself  only to throw his comic on the ground right before he looks at the pic of mike from Halloween (where they said they would go ‘crazy together’), calls himself stupid (unlike El saying there’s more to life than stupid boys/mike saying El is not stupid-aka in love ). And then destroys castle byers /crIES after the their fight. These events were perfect opposites.

4) When Mike says in the pool shed she’s the “most important thing in the world” to him. she cuts him off and says Hopper is right about them spending too much time together. But when Mike in the shed says asking Will to be his friend was the “best thing he’s ever done” (it was practically the cliche of true love breaking the curse) XD.

When Mike says to El  “you’re most important thing to me” in the pool shed. El doesn’t even acknowledge the comment (and neither should the audience- cause the words were empty). The framing of this mileven scene was not cinematic or heartfelt, and neither was the delivery from Mike. He’s not crying, trying to reach her with proclamations of his genuine feelings. There’s no dramatic music, framing, lighting or shot composition (and the scene was incredibly short).And El just responds and cuts his supposed ‘true feelings’ off- only to agree with Hopper and says “ what if he’s right”  . I didn’t speed this up FYI.

Juxtaposed to the MUCH longer byler shed scene. A literal single tear falling down his cheek as Mike , recounts the first day they met. This whole monologue is only of tight shots of just their faces (their bodies aren’t shown like in the pool shed scene). With contrasting colors of light and shadow.This is a personal moment between them and them alone- and the fact we zoom in on their faces (expresses this to be important emotionally) . And when we see Will’s reaction to Mike saying “it was the best thing I’ve ever done”. We just see Will’s face only- no music is playing and all we hear is  Will’s whimpers and Mike crying in the background.*

5) Max in s2 at Will’s house questions how Mike can still trust Will now that he’s a spy for the mf . Max (in s3) at El’s house: says that Mike doesn’t trust El- and Mike mentions that her spying is why he doesn’t trust her.  in s2, Mike: “if anyone could stop them it’s Will“. Max: “ I thought we couldn’t trust him that he’s a spy for the mf now?” Max in s3 calling Mike out  : “El has saved the world twice. And Mike still doesn’t trust her.” Mike: you want to talk about trust really?! after... Eleven spied on us! I guess girlfriends don’t lie they SPY!”

Not to mention - the fact is... El has “saved the world twice but Mike still doesn’t trust her” to fight the mf. Yet he 100% believed Will could defeat the mf -despite Will being possessed/a spy for the mf . And despite the fact Mike  thinks Will has no powers - unlike El ( but we all know he does , though :P). And, Mike even says Billy is dangerous cause  the “mf is in him ...Billy’s mind is sick, diseased” (but with Will possession -Mike still trusted him).  Max rolls her eyes and stares challengingly at Mike cause she remembers what Mike said about Will in s2- and the hypocrisy . And she finds it annoying how little faith he has in her compared to his almost unmoving-trust in Will (who at the time was possessed) . Mike has 100% trust and faith in Will-but simply doesn’t trust El.  And MAX KNOWS IT! Cause she’s paying attention. Like her facial expression/raised brow, at the end, is a challenge- you think non-superpowered Will could defeat the mf but not El with a history of fighting monsters? You say Billy possessed by the mf is dangerous- but still have more faith in Will possessed by the mf- than your own gf?! tbh El couldn’t defeat the mf (so technically him trusting Will over  El was proven to be correct). He wasn’t right about the El ‘giving up’ bs and he was still wrong for not respecting El as her “own person” with her “own free will” : not believing in El’s ability to make decisions like breaking up with him/ not believing El made the idea to spy on him, etc . But, Team work has always been what saved the day in s1-2, so over-relying on El to do it all and acting like she was the messiah ( like most of the st fanbase) was a poor plan . It’s not the El-show (it’s an ensemble cast with several mains). When they relied on her only ,to be the chosen one- she lost her powers, 30+ people d*ed, and they had to save her.

6) ) El and Will both calling for “Mike” alone in the upside down . And Mike “never giving up” on them.In the exact same ep (s2 e2) , both call for Mike from the upside down. El saves herself without Mike’s help. But Mike rushes to save Will crouching to comfort Will (whose body language mirrors El’s but who was alone in the forest after she sees mike and he did nothing). 

in s2 ep 1, both call for Mike ,but Mike only comes for Will -not el. It was like how Nancy in s1 called for Jon, and jonathan pulled her out of the upsidedown.  And as Jonathan and Mike both pull Nancy and Will back from the upside down , Jonathan says “I got you”. And Mike says “I got him “ twice. But mileven is like how barb while in the upsidedown called for Nancy (but nancy didn’t hear her screaming her name-cause it shows symbolically Nancy does not return Barb’s romantic feelings). Just like mileven.

Mike even saw Will’s dead body but the second he heard his voice he convinced everyone he was alive. Mike deep down assumed El was dead he brushed off seeing El as seeing things (like how Hopper described seeing Sarah). He even tells Max “ they took her just like they took bob” who was dead. Then a few minutes later lies and says he “never gave up” on her when she appears alive (which was a lie cause he just said she was dead). When El goes to his house Mike doesn’t ever go the forest to find her (unlike how Mike went into the forest in the pouring rain twice for Will). The truth is the only person he ‘never gave up on’ was Will.

7) They have El & Will have pics of Mike on Halloween (same night of the ‘crazy together’ speech). El only has a pic of Mike being miserable  and Will has pics of Mike staring at Will, and smiling next to him- despite the joke Mike never smiles in photos , this isn’t the case when mike is next to Will (he always smiles with Will). Cause being crazy with Will makes him happy - unlike his relationship with El who he fakes being ‘crazy’ about .

zoom in of Will & El’s pics of Mike: Will’s pic on left vs El’s on right . XD

8) Millie said El is “obsessed with Mike” so she has Mike-themed stuff all over  her room. She has a drawing with a heart that says mike on it/random heart pics, mike pic, dice that spell out mike, mikes’ stuff. So, It’s funny that mike has nothing relating to El at his place. In contrast to this, he still has 5 d&d drawings from Will on his wall (that he’s kept on his wall for 3 years despite removing an old poster from that same wall-which he gave to El). Mike even put up a 6th Will-drawing in s3- next to his new poster. And he never put a single 1 of her many drawings on his wall-just Will’s).

back to other points...

- They compared mileven to karen/billy. El in s2 , mimics Erica Kane who m(in the ep she is watching) rushes into a relationship with a writer named Mike Roy. (That relationship is not endgame-and  literally ends with one of them stalking and sabotaging their next relationship, but eventually accepting it’s over). This, also parallels Karen/ Billy. Before she meets him in s2, Karen is reading a romance book that has a guy that resembles Billy on the cover. The Duffers even mentioned they changed the cover to show the resemblance between Billy and the fictional book character. And we see Karen reading the sequel in s3 before Billy appears. Both El and Karen don’t/didn’t love Mike or Billy- they just projected onto them fictional characters they were infatuated with. El being into Mike roy- but projecting her crush on to Mike wheeler.

-They had El’s whole s2 arc be destroyed to show mileven is bad for her. “friends don’t lie” to let me lie to my friends so I can kiss mike and ditch them. lucas even said “they’re lying (about her curfew).”And lie to Mike about hearing his confession. Then in s2 trying to leave the cabin to experience the world and see my friends and fam again. To literally ignoring them all for 6 months and never leaving the cabin-despite Hopper letting me leave the house in s3.

- El in s3 says Mike treats her “like a pet” and “garbage”.

-In s1 Mike referred to her as a ‘weapon’  to help get Will back. smacked her when he thought she lied about Will being alive and said Lucas was right about her all along when he thought Will was dead and he couldn’t use her anymore. 

- They had El never apologize for spying/stalking . And  Mike never apologize for lying -despite it being the cause of the breakup . And had mike not reciprocate the kiss/ or say ‘i love you ‘ back  and had his eyes open while the same exact song plays that robin came out to: called ‘the first i love you’). These are the only 2 times the song plays in s3. The ‘first i love you’ also sounds like ‘the first lie’ - that song played when jancy said they were just friends. it sounds the same cause jancy lied about it not being romantic while mileven lied by saying it was.  He never apologized for lying cause the love is the lie- like Max said “boyfriends lie ALL THE TIME”. And it’s why the camera panned to Will when Lucas asked why Mike lied to her. And he never answers El’s question of ‘why do you lie?!’ (he just looks up silent and guilt ridden).This awkward kiss all happens in Will’s room too while Mike is in front of an open closet (while El is holding Will’s old bear).  

Plus he also fought with Hopper in s2 (’about El’) in Will’s room too. He wasn’t actually calling Hopper the liar he was calling himself “a stupid disgusting liar”out of self hate .  That scene was foreshadowing his lying to El in s3 (about his feelings for her). He blamed Hopper for his feelings for Will cause he told himself it wouldn’t have escalated if El had been around to ‘fix him’ . “I BLAME YOU! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK. YOU STUPID DISGUSTING liar, liar, liar, liar”.starts crying.

- Mike says “i never gave up on you (to El). “ When moments earlier he says “it took her just like it took Bob.” HE’S LYING AGAIN. He always thought she was dead -he was just hoping she was alive so he didn’t have to blame himself. He felt bad for treating her like a “weapon”. Mike saw El and didn’t even bother looking for her in the woods cause he assumed she was dead and was hallucinating. Mike saw Will’s dead body- but heard his voice and got him from another dimension (for El he couldn’t even bother to walk into the woods). Despite going into the woods in the pouring rain 2x for Will in s1& 3. El and Mike both call for Mike in the upside down (Mike in the same ep only comes for Will).

- They barely spoke to each other and all they did was makeout for 1 ep (while Mike put a drawing of ‘Will (the fire wielding) wise’ on the wall to help him kiss her/ with rainbows pic everywhere in the room to signify he’s gay and lying).  All while listening to a mixtape Will gave him as he kisses El.As Mike moves her hands off him (and sings a song from ‘boy in the box’) and El says to Max later she doesn’t know if mike’s a good kisser . And Mike rushes to one of his many established double-dates with Will and lumax  (x). And Mike in s3 when dating el, removes the sign of the heart being propelled by a rainbow (which he had before meeting El in his basement) .BUT it follows him symbolically ,as a drawing of a heart being propelled by a rainbow (in el’s room- cause no matter how much he kisses el there, he can’t escape his rainbow/being gay.)

-as mileven kiss in s3 e1. We zoom in on the drawing of Will the wise (the lyrics over the pic are “a little more time can open closing doors”). And then Mike continues to sing this song from ‘boy in the box’ (cough closet).Will in s3e1 says he won’t fall in love and the song then a diff song plays “love that was new to you , you open up the door.” mileven at the end of s3 kissing in front of Will’s open closet door with Mike’s eyes open not kissing back , and saying he doesn’t “ remember “ the love you and just says it was “in the heat of the moment”. The mike song being from “boy in the box” (closet). And they make out to “I can’t fight this feeling” which the singer says is about wanting to admit your feelings to your friend of many years and being afraid it’ll ruin the relationship. Aka even when kissing El he’s thinking of Will and admitting his feelings and not being able to fight his feelings

- Mike saying about Max “awesome? you don’t even know her.” Dustin says “ i don’t have to i mean look at her.” El was said in s1 multiple times to look like a boy (specifically Will). So Dustin and Lucas had no interest in her -only Mike did. BUT when max (a girl who looked like a girl) arrived- they as straight boys  were smitten. And Mike was not interested at all (cause he’s gay). The fact people don’t realize Mike was rude to her because he thought Will liked her too makes me laugh - he even was 1/2 honest in s3 saying he was jealous of her  XD 

why in s3 (when she looks like a girl) the compliment to her look is almost the same as Hopper’s comment to her makeover in s2. Paralleling Mike to her dad is the opposite of romantic!

-people say in s3 Will saying “a day free of girls” is gay coded but everyone ignores Mike in s3 saying “BOYS ONLY”. Same energy.

-MiKE has more rainbows than Will: Mike’s rainbow bedroom blinds, the rainbow-heart wooden sign in the basement in s1, the rainbow heart drawing that says Mike in s3, a rainbow sticker in his room, byler standing behind a rainbow poster in s2. And Will with the rainbow ship and the girl he danced with having a rainbow hearts-hairclip.

- People mention Mike saving El in s3 was romantic ( when he hit Billy). But when Billy slapped max he charged in to save her too and tried punching him (despite their beef). that moment wasn’t romantic (unless you think madweheeler is- which no). Mike is just a good person- he also risked his life for dustin. He’s brave and will defend HIS FRIENDS. 

- we’re almost to the end for those not keeping tract mileven is compared to stancy, ted/karen,  karen/billy, stobin, Dart/Dustin, max &mike, barb/nancy, nancy & dustin, siblings & cousins & a parent/kid dynamic. And contrasted to byler.

- Finn, after s1, said the duffers told him,   Mike thinks of her as a “puppy/ “et” , and that Mileven was a  “first summer love thing”- foreshadowing what was mileven’s downfall during the Summer (aka s3). He repeats this “first summer love” phrase 2x.  Millie when he mentioned what the duffers said, rightfully thought the puppy thing was “awful”, but Finn was clearly told mileven doesn’t last -very early on.Summer love” by definition fails-as it only lasts during the summer.  

-It wasn’t a break it was a breakup. Like Max and Will said in response to Mike  “ she said she dumped your ass! That doesn’t sound like a break?!/ it wasn’t!’ Or El knocking all the candy out of the machine, except the kit kat Mike wanted. Slogan of kit-kat “ having a break , have a kit kat.” In other words, it was NOT a break. It was a breakup. Difference is - in s4 it’ll be El who can’t accept this fact , not Mike. Max having to correct El that Mike is her “ex boyfriend” after the breakup (in s3) foreshadows this.The other couples in s3 who fought -were always still paired together in framed shots (jancy/ lumax) were on a break (but got back together- by the end of s3,  not confident about their futures together, but they still have a distinction from mileven-based on such framing). That mileven didn’t get back together. El in s3 was always on her own and Mike was paired with Will (while the other couples were in frame). 

this could go on and on honestly. there’s so much other stuff proving mileven is not going to be endgame. Not to mention all of Mike’s queer coding (x) XD   

[anika-ann]

There’s 1111 of people who are willing to put up with my stuff on their dash... you know what that means?

(image source)

That’s right! Since I’m terrible at filling up prompts, I decided to host another writing challenge...

I know that’s not much of a thank you, so just let me say to all my followers and people who help to spread my work: 

Thank you! ✨🥰❤️

Now, onto the rules and prompts... check it out under the cut!

There are 40 prompts of various types and a bonus, so I hope you’ll find one to inspire you, or at least one you’ll just like ;)

EDIT: Masterlist of submitted stories is HERE.

Rules:

You don’t have to be following me, I know I’m not for everybody :D

As of now, it’s one prompt per person, one person per prompt. We’ll see how it goes. Claim a prompt via an ask or a DM. But please, if you claim it, try to write it...

Keep it Marvel (any character) or CEvans characters, please. Movies, tv series, comics (?), whichever suits you the best. If you truly want a different movie/show characters, DM me please.

Fluff, angst, humour, I take it all. Smut must be properly tagged and with a warning before the text of the fic. (Absolutely no underage smut or incest. Also I’m not a big fan of non-con and extra dark, but you can DM me and we’ll figure it out if you insist.)

Drabbles, one-shots, first chapter/prologue to a new series. No word limit, because that would make a hypocrite. If it’s over 500 words, please, please use the keep reading bar.

Canon or non-canon ships, reader inserts, pairing with an OC, no pairing at all, platonic relationships – bring it all.

When you choose a line/dialogue prompt, you can still make it an AU completely of your choice, just to be clear.

Tag me in your fic when posting and use # ann1111fc. I should respond within 3 days with at least a heart. If I don’t, DM, it means tumblr ate it all.

Deadline: 1st July. Should be enough ;) If you need an extension, DM me. We’re all only human and life gets in the way.

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Lines/Dialogue prompts:

(feel free to alternate pronouns/names/insults/states/tenses; some quotes taken from favourite shows, some pretty random)

1. “Is that judgement I’m hearing?“

2. “I thought you said you had faith in me.” @nekoannie-chan 

3. “I get all tingly when you take control like that.”

4. “Say/Do it again. I dare you.”

5. “You always have an excuse, don’t you?”

6. “I want to say something I’ve never said to you before… thank you.”

7. “She’s kinda hot…. I’m gay, not blind.”

8. “I’m losing my mind.“ @smediumsmeatbae with Steve

9. “Did I say that out loud?” @donutloverxo

10. “Sorry is not gonna cut it, not this time.”

11. “Just breathe, okay? Deep breaths, come on.”  @just-one-ordinary-fangirl with Steve

12. “There had to be a better way to phrase that.”

13. “You’re escaping without me?!”

14. “I was wrong about you.”

15. “He‘s mostly a jerk… but every once in a while, he can be a dick.”

16. “Do you have any idea who I am?”

17. “You look like crap.” “Thanks, I saw the mirror this morning.”  

18. “No offence.” “Offence taken.”

19. “This outfit? It’s a part of my cover!” “Well, it doesn’t cover a thing!” @saccmaass

20. “So we’re not doing the ‘what happens in Russia stays in Russia’?” “We’re still in Russia!”

Tropes and AUs

(take all the liberty you need, e.g. Language differences can range from misunderstandings to a kink  😏, Culture shock from an alien to intercultural relationship etc.)

I. Language differences @galaxy-barnes with Bucky

II. Mistaken identity @chase-your-dreams-away​ with Steve

III. Body-swap

IV. Amnesia @sophiria with Steve

V. Murder mystery

VI. Last seconds/minutes to live

VII. Truth serum

VIII. In a closet

IX. Fake relationship @what-is-your-backupplan-today with Bucky

X. A/B/O dynamics @stargazingfangirl18 with Ransom

XI. Culture shock

XII. Cop AU

XIII. Fairytale/Fantasy AU @elysianecho with Ransom

XIV. College AU @secretswiftymarvelfan with Steve

XV. Escort AU  @queen-kass-the-writer 

XVI. Soulmate AU @trashywritestrash

XVII. Coffee shop AU/Bakery AU

XVIII. Angel (and/or Demon) AU @hufflepuffvs with Matt 

XIX. Medieval AU

XX. Flower shop AU @a-little-counter-esperanto

Crossovers:

Aka the category where everything is possible.

MCU/Marvel series x anything. I don’t even care with what. Just bring it!

You can check out few shows I watched in my bio, but the list goes on and on, and you don’t have to pick one of the ones I mention. Just try to make it so even people who haven’t watched the series in question can so-so catch on.  

You don’t have to claim a crossover, but you could let me know if you’re planning one for this challenge, so I know what to look forward to 😊

1) MCU x Pacific Rim @rodrikstark with Steve

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Happy writing! (on not, depends)

[sgtbuckyybarnes]

everything from the salty ask list for marvel pls mate

Let's do this!

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

I'm not overly into OTPs with the canon characters but I would say I don't understand the pedestal people put Tony and Pepper on. I think she deserves better tbh.

I never used to get Vision and Wanda but WandaVision did help me see it more

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

SamBucky and Stucky

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Yes! I let it slide the first time but unfollowed the next time

Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

Probably Steve/Tony, I've seen a few people ship it but I don't and will never get it

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

Yes, Stucky. I used to really like them and think they were cute, loved the edits people did etc...but the fandom really made me dislike it

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

Probably Steve/Nat!

Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

Iron Man, he kicked off the MCU and I remember how excited I was to see his film but as the storylines went on I just have liked him less and less

Have you received anon hate? What about?*

Nope, but I can imagine it after my answers to the previous and next questions hahah

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Tony Stark. I don't like how he thinks he's better than everyone, how he has double standards with a lot of things, how he treats Pepper, how he treats Steve...I have a lot of issues with Tony Stark.

Most disliked arc? Why?

Again, probably Tony. I don't even think he had much of an arc to be honest. He stayed pretty much the same until the last minute when he did the snap.

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Carol Danvers, I just love her. She was in the first solo female superhero movie and I'm not saying it was an amazing movie but I am saying I feel like it started Marvel on the roll to adding more and more diversity to the franchise which was so needed and is still needed.

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Steve's ending haha! It's probably because I just didn't want him to die but, to me, he finally chose himself after spending years of putting others before what he wanted. I'm not a big Steggy shipper so the only thing I think of in my mind is that he gave her the dance and then moved on...when asked about the woman he married he didn't elaborate so how do we even know he stayed with her!

That's just my thoughts on it anyway hahaha!

Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

I think people are being overly harsh on the newer movies and characters being brought out. Yes I'm going to miss the OG6 so much and I enjoyed the last 10 years so much but I'm also so excited with what we have to come!

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Give Bucky more lines hahaha

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

I wouldn't say so! I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions as long as it's not hurtful to someone else.

And, if you don't agree with something someone says, just do what I did and unfollow. It's easy.

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

The misogyny and how people put so much on ships. Just because I don't ship Stucky doesn't mean I don't like gay ships, just because someone doesn't ship the same thing as you doesn't mean you're wrong

What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Druig and Makkari at the moment I reckon!

What are your thoughts on crack ships?

You do you!

Popular character you hate?

Tony Stark

Unpopular character you love?

I feel like these Qs are repeating themselves a bit so I'm just gunna say Carol again

Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

Yes and I have, it's just taken you too long to watch it hahaha

Most shippable character?

Natasha! She has chemistry with so many people!

Least shippable character?

Yelena but only because I am an advocate for Ace-Yelena so don't like seeing her in ships!

[snarkwrites]

03 | upside down ; steve harrington

NOTES:

So, uh.. did I mention this is not even remotely close to a slow burn? Because surprise it's not. I wanted it to be one so so so bad too. But it'll be okay, I'll live. Maybe next time, lmaooo. Anyway, as I said in the notes on chapter 2, parts one, two, this one and maaaybe four, I haven't written it just yet so Idk how it'll go tbh, are potentially set BEFORE the series starts.

Summary:

She moves back to Hawkins and manages to turn his life completely upside down. In the best of ways.

But how will everything play out between them? Also, can they handle all the weirdness ahead? We shall see.

Warnings:

LOOSE CANON COMPLIANCE AT BEST, TOTAL DEVIATION AT WORST - this is just an up front catch all because sometimes, things happen that I don’t particularly care for (the senseless death of Barb, anybody?) and if you’re one of those canon only people, this is here to warn you that this is not the fic for you. LANGUAGE, OCCASIONAL GORE, MONSTERS / FANTASY ELEMENTS, TEENAGE DRAMA AND SHENANIGANS - Obviously, teenagers are going to do stuff. They’re at that point in their life where not every decision they make is the best one. So if you’d rather skip over this kind of thing (teen drinking, fighting, etc) then yeah.. you’ve been warned. THIS IS NOT A SLOW BURN, I REPEAT NOT SLOW AT ALL / EVENTUAL FILTHY GOOD NESS - because lets be real.. we’re all wondering when we’re gonna drop the plot and get to the good stuff. When this chapter occurs, I will flair it with an M. In the meantime, if you’re not into slow burn or mutual pining, then you’re probably not going to care about this.

Other Parts

[ SOUNDTRACK | PART ONE | PART TWO]

Other Stuff

[ FAQ - TAG LIST DOC ]

Tagging:

There’s nobody on my list yet but… If you wanna be tagged for this, tell me pls. It will make me overjoyed.

Throwing out a no pressure tag to @RAMPAGEWRITING​ and @TWISTNET​ as well as @CHASINGEVERYBREAKINGWAVE​ just because. No pressure though bbies!

THREE.

“You can’t be serious. Her mother was the town tramp. And from what I’ve seen of her and the way she dresses, she’s on the fast track to follow in those footsteps.” Carol’s statement and her voice annoyed Steve.

He rolled his eyes. Shrugging.

“I’m serious. Did you think I was asking your permission?” Steve raised a brow at Carol and laughed. “Because if you did, you were wrong. I do what I want.”

Carol grimaced and grumbled that she was absolutely not going to be nice to Jennifer Brown just because Steve wanted to put his dick inside her.

Tommy smirked, leaning in while Carol was on her little tangent to mutter into his ear, “Lucky bastard.”

Steve chuckled, nodding in agreement with Tommy.

Brown eyes scanned the crowd, searching for any sign of Jennie. He spotted her wandering the midway, one of those giant cotton candy sticks in her hand, sandwiched between Barb and Nancy, the three of them laughing. All he could do was stare at her. Smile to himself at the way she threw her head back to laugh. Follow the sway of her hips like his eyes had magnets attached.

Carol spotted her too and pretended to gag. “Does she not have a grasp of the concept of clothing, Steve?”

“Carol, do you ever stop and think that maybe everyone doesn’t want your crappy opinion?” Steve quipped, rolling his eyes at her. Tommy mouthed an apology.

Steve shrugged it off, telling them he’d meet up with them later if he felt like it and didn’t forget. Then he wandered over, falling into line behind Jennie. Wrapping his arms around her waist and snickering when she whirled around, eyes full of fire and ready to explode because she thought it was some random playing grab ass.

Steve raised his hands, chuckling. Biting his lip as he gazed down at her and the way she lazily swatted at his chest. “Easy, Jennie. It’s just me.”

“You can’t just do that! I thought you were that asshole who wouldn’t leave us alone over by the spinning tea cups.” Jennie took a sip of her drink, blowing bubbles into the straw. She held it up to Steve and he took it, taking a sip or two. “Are we still on for tonight?”

She nodded, smiling up at him. “Nancy, Barb and I just wanted to come together early. A girl thing.” she explained.

Steve wanted to swear to himself when he heard Tommy clear his throat from nearby. With Carol in tow, of course. Tommy nodded to Jennie and smirked at Steve as he gave Jennie a playful wink. “Aren’t you gonna introduce your girl to your best friend, man? He has no manners. My name is Tommy.”

Carol rolled her eyes and grumbled about Tommy being a flirt right in front of her and as per usual, her complaints went in one ear and right out the other.

Jennie eyed Tommy with a raised brow, shaking her head. Glancing at Steve who chuckled. “She knows who you are, dumbass. She lived here for a while, remember?”

Carol was giving Jennie a frosty glare. From beside Jennie, Nancy and Barb nudged each other, whispering, watching the two.

“I know I haven’t forgotten her.” Carol spoke up.

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten you either.” Jennie responded, tensing up. Folding her arms over her chest as she glanced at Carol with thinly veiled disinterest.

“Okay, no fights. Carol, come on.” Tommy spoke up, letting his gaze linger on Jennie just long enough that Steve tensed a little, gave him an annoyed look and shoved tightly clenched fists into the pockets of his jeans.

Tommy and Carol wandered off and Steve chuckled. Pulling his hand out of his pocket, dragging it through his hair. “I’ll come pick you up at 8.”

He stepped closer, curious as to whether she’d be open to him kissing her in front of her friends. Because things were kind of shaky. They really hadn’t gotten to talk about last night quite yet.

Jennie surprised him because she stepped closer too. Hooking her fingers in the belt loops of his jeans. Closing the distance between them when she did so. He chuckled. Leaning down a little, his arms slipping around her as his crashed his mouth against her mouth. Grinning into the kiss as the taste of her watermelon shaved ice filled his mouth. He deepened the kiss and as it pulled away so they could both catch their breath, he joked with Nancy and Barb, “Don’t let her get into too much trouble, yeah?”

“Oh haha sir. If memory serves, you got involved in just as much as me when we were kids.” Jennie teased, raising up on her feet to fluff his hair and turn up the collar of his polo shirt. She pouted as she stepped away and as she walked off with Nancy and Barbara, Steve leaned against the wooden post nearby and watched her walking. Fanning himself and smiling like an idiot.

Once he knew no one was watching, he jumped up and down, pumping his fist in the air in victory.

XXX

“Shit, shit.” I stomped my foot, blowing at a curl that refused to go where I wanted it to go. Frowning at the offending strands of hair, I swatted them out of my eyes. From my closet, Nancy called out, “Hey? Think I can borrow this white sundress?”

“Yeah! Go for it.” I called out to her as I tried to get into a steady position to apply my mascara. Nancy stepped out of my closet, holding the dress up to her in the mirror. I smiled and spoke up, “Carol’s still the uptight killjoy, I see.”

“Carol Perkins is a bitch.”

I pretended to be shocked when Nancy said it and Nancy shrugged, blushing a little as she laughed. “It’s the truth though!”

“I think her entire reason for walking over earlier today was just to be rude.”

“Or to be weird and creepy about Steve. She had this huge crush on him last year, I think? Anyway, Steve turned her down from what I heard and that’s why she went for Tommy instead.” Nancy picked up a lipstick from her makeup bag, lightly bumping against me and laughing when I did it back.

“Barb’s meeting us after the movie, right?”

“Mhm. She said Logan was taking her to one of those fancy restaurants over in Rollins before though. Their anniversary.” Nancy smiled and laughed softly. “They’re so cute, I swear.”

“I know. It’s so sweet it kinda makes my teeth hurt.”

“Excuse me? Who was practically draped all over Steve earlier today when we ran into him?”

“I was not draped all over him.” I corrected, blushing a little as I said it because I knew for a fact that yes, I was lying through my teeth. I shrugged.

“Was he kissing you like that last night? Because if so… Wow.” Nancy teased, fanning herself with the issue of Seventeen that sat next to my hairbrush on my vanity.

I blushed even more, biting my lip as I nodded.

“I’ve never seen him get that handsy before.” Nancy mused, stirring the pot a little. I took a deep breath and sat down my lipstick, turning to look at her. Raising my pinkie. “What I’m about to confess to you does NOT leave this room.”

“What?” Nancy’s brow raised as she linked pinkies with me and laughed softly.

“I’m a virgin.” I admitted, shrugging. It wasn’t a big deal either way, I just hadn’t met anyone that particularly sparked my interest in that way for more than a day or two at a time. And I was nothing if not picky. ,, Just admit you never got over your stupid crush and go, sheesh.” the thought came, making me smile. Because it was true. I really hadn’t gotten over my crush.

I think that’s what kind of freaked me out so much about me and Steve if I’m being honest. Knowing that I hadn’t ever gotten over a crush I had on him when we were way too young to really know or understand anything.

“That’s really not a big deal. I mean I am too. So is Barb. Or she was, the last time either of us mentioned anything.” Nancy smiled at me. “It just means we’re selective. Stronger. I don’t know, but I do know it’s not a bad thing at all.”

“Now if a certain short order cook at my nana’s diner were to take you out for a long moonlit drive…” I teased gently, just to watch Nancy blush. She shrugged, but she nodded at the same time. Shushing me as she giggled. “Yeah. But I mean, I am not about to act on that right now…”

“But you’ve thought about it.” I asked.

“And you haven’t?”

“Maaybe?” I answered, laughing a little. “I came close to just getting it over with last year but I came to my senses. I mean, I knew the guy wasn’t the guy if you get my drift. Besides, if he kissed like a Hoover vacuum, I really wasn’t keen on finding out about… Other things. Especially not when I bought myself a buddy.”

Nancy’s brow quirked. I held my fingers to my lips and tiptoed over to my top drawer, pulling it open. Showing her the vibrator I’d gotten myself last year. I mean, she's my friend, I know she's not going to go tell everybody. I'm also not the least bit ashamed of literally anything about myself. Private matters included.

“So you’re not really a virgin?” she asked. I shrugged. “I am as far as doing it with a guy. As far as other things? Nah. So yes and no.”

“I bet your mom flipped out.” Nancy raised her hand, covering her mouth.

“Actually, she took me to buy it. Something about she was too damn young to have me coming home knocked up with not one clue what guy was the lucky donor.”

“Ugh, my mom cringes if I even hint at anything involving a guy. And don’t even get me started about the ongoing battle with my dad about my makeup.”

“Oh, Hank is an actual child when I’m putting on makeup and getting ready to go out. He’ll insist that I wait in the living room and make the guy walk up to the front door. So he can see them.” I smiled to myself. “At least he cares. If it weren’t for him or my Nana, not sure how my life would be and I mean that.”

“Yeah, your mom was something else.”

“Remember that time she came to pick me up in that stupid jumper and the gogo boots? With a flask? On the back of some guy’s motorcycle? Just to walk me home? Then she told our teacher “It’s vodka.”” I cringed at the memory, sighing quietly.

“I hate that it took us so long to even get a little close like we were before the accident.” I muttered after a few seconds and Nancy nodded solemnly.

She happened to see the time on my alarm clock on the nightstand and she swore, hurrying into my bathroom to change clothes. “Crap! Jonathan said he’d be here at 7.”

“Nancy, it’s only 6:30.” I laughed at her rushing around trying to find her shoe as she stepped out of my bathroom and into my room. I spotted her shoe and tossed it to her.

“ Deep breaths. It’s just two people going to a carnival together, woman. Pull yourself together.” I teased gently, placing my hands on her upper arms. She nodded, taking several long and deep breaths. I don’t think they really helped, but.. I tried.

Feel Like Makin Love came on the radio and the both of us devolved into a fit of loud laughter that ended in us collapsed on my daybed.

My nana called up the stairs. “Girls, I think one of your fellas is outside.”

Nancy shot up in the bed, flinging herself off of it, and racing to my window. Jonathan was parked behind my grandma’s Chevelle, pacing beside his Mustang. Almost as if he was psyching himself up too.

I laughed softly, catching Nancy’s gaze. “Aww, he’s as nervous as you are right now.” I peeked out the window again just as he reached into his car, pulling out flowers that he had to have picked himself. When I caught him looking up at the window I stood in, I closed the curtain quickly and giggled.

“Guess who picked you flowers?” I said in a playful tone as I looked at her.

“Oh my god. No shit? He… That means this is a date and I am.. Severely under dressed.” Nancy was starting to worry. Pacing a hole through my carpet.

I shook my head, placing my hands on her upper arms again. Making her look at me. “It’s going to be okay. Relax. You look hot. Now go down there. Don’t make that poor guy suffer the Inquisition, because you know that’s what Hank’s going to put him through.” I held my bedroom door open, giving her a gentle but firm nudge when she froze in the doorway. Throwing the door shut behind her so she couldn’t chicken out and come back into my room.

After a few seconds of jamming out to Madonna, I peeked out of my door to make sure she wasn’t upstairs still, pacing the landing. She wasn’t, so I smiled to myself and shut the door again.

Flopping across my bed and grabbing for the issue of Seventeen that Nancy brought over for all of us to look through when we got back after the carnival tonight.

And almost ten minutes later, my nana was calling up the stairs for me to come down. I sprang off my daybed, pulling on my new red boots. Giving myself one last look in the mirror. Smoothing my hands over the red sundress I’d chosen to wear with the denim jacket my mom wore all the time.

“I’ll be right down.” I called out. Taking a few seconds to calm myself down, because surprisingly enough, I found myself almost as jittery as Nancy had been when Jonathan came to collect her earlier.

I made my way down the stairs just in time. Able to avert a potential crisis in the making as Hank eyed Steve. “What are you doing here, hair?”

“I’m here to pick up Jennie, sir.”

Hank eyed him and then he eyed me. “You hit your head or somethin, Jaybird?”

I bit my lip. Trying not to burst out laughing as I shook my head, I answered, “No, I didn’t. He’s taking me to the carnival tonight if that’s okay? Nana already said I could go…”

Hank eyed Steve warily. Tattooed forearms folded over his chest. Trying to look as threatening as possible. “Remember, hair… You hurt her, there’s nowhere safe for you.”

“Hank, let those two get goin! Get in here and help me eat these brownies.”

Thank God for my nana.

Steve and I hurried outside and he opened the passenger door to his BMW, letting me get in. I sank down into the seat, cringing a little, groaning because I was a little embarrassed. I knew Hank was only doing it with good intent, but still, it was just a little embarrassing sometimes.

Steve burst out laughing when he got into the car. “So that was intense, huh?”

“Just a little. I’m sorry. You know how he is.”

Steve leaned across the console, pulling me in for a kiss. Muttering softly as it broke, “I don’t blame him. I mean earlier today, Tommy just looked at you the wrong way and I wanted to punch him.”

“Yeah, no. Tommy Hagan is not my type. And he never will be.” I shook my head, pretending to be offended that Steve even put both of us in the same sentence. Steve chuckled, winking at me as he started the car and started to back out of the driveway.

“Just out of curiosity, who is your type, Jennie?”

“Ask me again at the end of the night.” I teased, glancing at him as I shrugged.

He laughed and reached out, turning the dial on the radio. We found a station to listen to and Steve reached out for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. Raising my hand to brush his lips against my knuckles.

I squirmed in my seat a little, muttering quietly to myself as he did it. Making him chuckle again as we pulled into a parking space near Tommy’s car. I scowled as soon as I set sights on Carol and she pretended to gag when she saw me sitting in Steve’s passenger seat.

Steve grumbled and shook his head, complaining about Tommy and Carol being pains in the ass as he got out of the car. Pointedly pretending he didn’t see Tommy standing nearby or hear him call his name. Making his way around the car to open my door.

“Just ignore them. Maybe if we ignore them, princess, they’ll disappear.”

“One could only hope.” I answered, giving his hand a squeeze as I gazed up at him and smiled.

We walked right past them, but naturally, Tommy caught up to us. Staring a little too long and too hard at me. I rolled my eyes. And I found myself scrunching into Steve’s side.

“Tommy, hey man. We were just gonna go to the midway.”

“Didn’t you hear me trying to call you, Harrington?” Tommy finally tore his gaze off me to glance at Steve.

Carol was glaring daggers at me, I could feel it. I didn’t have to look over at her.

“Tommy, can we like.. Go now? I don’t want to stick around the tramp too long.”

I leaned in, hissing at her a little. Laughing when she shrank away and cringed before making a hasty retreat, practically having to drag Tommy with her when she went.

I called out casually, “It was nice to see you again too, Carol!” and turned to face Steve, finding him nearly doubled over, clutching his sides as he laughed.

“I was about to handle them for you...” he muttered as his laughter died away and he stepped closer to me, a hand lingering at my hip. I scoffed. “Them? Oh trust me. I can handle those two half-wits.”

“And I see that, Jennie. But as your date..” Steve spoke up, chuckling as he smiled at me. I swallowed hard because I wasn’t stupid. I heard him hesitate. I heard him almost refer to himself as my boyfriend. And god help me, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop the warm feeling that took over. Or the way my heart lazily skipped a beat or two.

I gave a soft giggle, reaching for his hand. Lacing my fingers between his as I bounced around on my feet, nodding towards the Zipper and giving him a pleading look. He eyed the ride warily but finally shrugged. “Okay, alright. But I’m telling you, it’s gonna scare you.”

“That’s why you’re here though, right?” I cozied up to him when we stopped walking for a minute.

If I sounded any flirtier… The thought came and I tried to just enjoy the moment and not get too wrapped up in my own worries and fears about letting him too close.

I needed to relax. Stop overthinking everything and just live. My mom was always telling me that before I lost her.

Steve slipped an arm around me, pulling me into his side. “You hungry or anything?”

“I’m fine right now.” I answered, gazing up at him. Raising up to brush my lips against his cheek. Making him laugh quietly. Smile at me and pull me closer as he whispered against my ear, “What was that for, hm?”

“Because I’m glad I said yes and came out with you tonight.” I shrugged as I responded. We wound up in line for the Zipper behind Nancy and Jonathan and giggling, I held a finger to my lips as I glanced over at Steve before reaching out to cover Nancy’s eyes.

She squeaked and Jonathan covered his mouth to keep from laughing about it, shaking his head at me. Mouthing a thank you when Nancy wasn’t looking. I shrugged at him and turned my attention to Nancy.

“You realize that ride is up in the air.”

“I’ll be fine.” Nancy swallowed hard.

I nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re in good hands.”

“Hey, you guys get on with us.”

“I think I’m gonna hurl. Are you sure you wanna get on that thing, Jennie?” Steve spoke up, pressing against me from behind. I glanced up over my shoulder at him and raised a brow. “Are you scared? It’s just a ride. It’ll be fine.”

Nancy eyed Steve and I, giggling as she shook her head. The line moved forward and almost as soon as Nancy and I spotted Barb, we started to yell for her. She came jogging over with a giant of a blond guy in tow.

“Logan, you know Nancy. This is my best friend Jennie. She just moved back from Louisiana. Jennie, this is Logan.” Barb was grinning from ear to ear, all doe eyed and soft giggly voice. I smiled because seeing her so happy made me happy for her. I looked up at Logan, sizing him up. “Hurt my friend, I break your knees. That’s all I’m saying.”

He chuckled, slipping his arms around Barb, leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Jennie.”

“Hey, if you get in between Jennie and I, we can get on the ride at the same time.” Nancy spoke up.

Jonathan and Steve nodded. Steve spoke up, addressing Logan. “Didn’t you play basketball for Varsity last year? You were the senior starter, right?”

I locked eyes with Barb, wiggling my brow as I leaned in and whispered, “Ooh la la.. An older guy, huh?”

Barb blushed, teasing right back, “Mhm. Wanna explain why your lipstick is smeared and there’s just the slightest hint of red on Steve Harrington’s mouth while we’re on this topic?”

I stuck my tongue out at her, snuggling against Steve, laughing. It was our turn to get on the ride and we got into a bucket, strapping ourselves in after we’d emptied out our pockets. Steve took a deep breath. “This might not be so bad.” but then the ride took off, flipping over and he screeched “I was wrong, holy fuck I was wrong.” I grabbed hold of his hand and muttered against his ear, “Deep breaths, Steve. It’s okay. It’s just a ride. You have a harness.”

“Woman, this thing is flipping and rolling!” Steve teased, managing to plant a kiss on my forehead as he met my gaze, laughing. Leaning in to whisper against my ear, “You’re the one death gripping my hand though? Are you maybe a little afraid now that you looked down and saw how high up in the air we are?”

“Oh hush.” I pouted, burying my face in his shoulder, screaming and stomping my feet against the cage while squeezing his hand even more. “I thought it’d be okay. Mistakes were made.”

He laughed and let out several shaky breaths as the ride began to descend, finally coming to a full stop at the bottom.

We stumbled off, finding Barb and Logan and Jonathan, holding Nancy’s hair out of the way as she threw up in a garbage bin while rubbing her back.

Steve spoke up, nodding in the direction of the fun house. Grabbing hold of my hand and starting to pull me towards it, laughing. “C’mon guys!”

Barb and Logan shared a look, shrugging. Jogging to catch up. And Nancy and Jonathan finally caught up, falling in line behind us. Cozied up to each other.

I cozied up to Steve and he leaned his chin on my shoulder. “Having fun, Jennie?”

“I am.” I answered quietly, glancing back at him and flashing a soft smile.

XXX

Steve rubbed his hands together and stepped up, taking the sledgehammer. Swinging it as if it weighed nothing, even though the damn thing was so heavy he honestly thought he pulled his shoulder out of place as the sledgehammer made contact with the base of the Strongman attraction and the needle went soaring upward. The lights lit up and Steve leaned the sledgehammer against the side of the machine, pretending to curl his biceps as he turned to Jennie, laughing. Stealing the cotton candy flavored shaved ice she was sipping and taking a sip for himself as he nodded to the wall of prizes. “So, what’ll it be, huh?” he gazed at the wall of prizes too. His eyes settling on the gigantic pink unicorn and fixing on her.

“The pink unicorn.” they said it at the exact same time, bursting into laughter. The barker turned and grabbed the stuffed animal and Steve took it, holding it out to Jennie. “For you, princess.” he teased as she took it, hugging it against her. Then hugging herself against him and asking in a soft laugh, “That didn’t hurt you, did it?”

“Not even a little, babe.”

And he wasn’t stupid, either. He saw the way her pupils blacked out the rest of her eye for just the ghost of a few seconds after he called her babe. Slipping an arm around her, he pressed his mouth against her forehead and muttered quietly, “Where to next?”

Her eyes settled on a bright yellow tent. The sign outside of it proclaimed “Free readings.” and she gave him those big pleading eyes. Eyes that may or may not have gotten him in right over his head on more than one occasion when they were both kids. Eyes he couldn’t turn down.

“It’s going to be fake as hell, but okay. Alright. If you wanna go over there, we will. At least the lines not as long as the one for the Ferris Wheel is.”

“And it’s close to the field, so when the fireworks and the music start, we can go over... “ Jennie smiled, slipping her hand into his. He gave her hand a squeeze after lacing their fingers together.

“Maybe they’ll tell me I’m going to be a billionaire.” Steve teased, making her shrug. “I just wanna see if there’s any truth to whatever they tell me at all…” she trailed off and Steve eyed her, asking quietly, “And? What else?”

“I don’t know… Maybe I was hoping they’d have a message for me from my mom..” Jennie bit her lip, going quiet. Laughing at herself softly. “It’s dumb. I know it won’t be real.”

“Hey. C’mere.” Steve pulled her into a hug, squeezing her a little. As the hug broke, he nodded towards the tent, smirking. “C’mon. Let’s go see what they have to say about our future, huh?”

“Yeah. Let’s.” Jennie smiled up at him, practically dragging him towards the tent. Given that there wasn’t an actual line, they stepped into the tent. Without even looking up, the woman on the other side of the round table announced calmly, “I’ve been waiting on you two.”

Steve and Jennie shared a look, both of them raising their brows.

Jennie dug around in the pocket of her denim jacket, prepared to pay the fortune teller for the reading, but the woman shook her head, nodding towards the chairs in front of them. They sat down.

For a minute or two, it was quiet. For Steve, it was a little too quiet and he chuckled. This seemed to get the fortune teller looking up at them both from the cards spread out in front of her.

She put the cards away quickly after shaking her head and mumbling about something she’d interpreted to be worrying. “Sorry about that, I was doing a reading for a young woman who came by earlier. One of your friends, I do believe.” the fortune teller addressed Jennie.

“One of my friends?” Jennie questioned. The fortune teller nodded. And then she got down to business.

“You two always wind up together, don’t you? In every new life. You always manage to find one another.”

Steve’s brow quirked.

Jennie spoke up, laughing softly. “He’s not a believer. What’s it mean… If we’re always in each other’s lives?”

The fortune teller gave a soft laugh. Glancing at Steve for a few seconds, nodding. “I picked up on that when you two were walking over. That’s not all I picked up on…” she teased, letting her words die away.

Jennie took a deep breath. Giving Steve’s hand a squeeze beneath the table. Steve squeezed her hand back and repeated the question that Jennie had just asked. What the woman meant when she told them that they always wound up together, in every life.

“It’s not a bad thing. Well, not in the case of both of you.” the fortune teller explained, smiling at them both. “You’ve had a few not so good ones, but usually, your story has a happy ending.”

Steve let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. And then he immediately reminded himself that this was all just baloney to begin with. A way for the woman to make money.

“Over the next few years… Things around you are going to get downright peculiar.” and after saying this, she gazed at Jennie. “A woman is coming through for you, dear. She has the same hair as you. Wilder and curlier. I think she’s..” but before she could finish, Jennie spoke up, “My mom? Is her name Bonnie?”

The woman closed her eyes, focusing.

Then she nodded. “Tell Jen to stop fighting the natural order of things so hard.”

Steve eyed the woman warily. Giving Jennie’s hand a squeeze. Jennie squeezed his hand back and she seemed to relax even more.

The woman continued, glancing at Steve this time, “A lot of growth and change ahead for you. You are on the right path. Stay on it. No matter what strange things it might bring your way. Always go with your first gut instinct. On everything.”

Steve nodded, chuckling to himself. It was a pretty standard reading. Anyone could’ve given it.

But what the fortune teller told them both about always winding up together in every single version of life they’d lived thus far, that was sticking with him.

No matter how much he tried to tell himself this was pointless and she was doing this as a gimmick to make some cash on the side.

“As far as the immediate future. Stick together. Stick close to your friends, because there are some things up ahead and you’re going to need each other.”

The fortune teller dismissed them and as soon as they were out of the tent, Steve cleared his throat. “That was, uh.. Something.”

“It was.” Jennie was gazing up at him thoughtfully. Almost like she had something on her mind. Just as she was about to say whatever it was, Tommy spoke up from the funnel cake stand across the way.

“Hey man! C’mon. Sit with us.” Tommy called out.

Carol was quick to add, “ Kind of feels like we’re being ditched, Harrington.”

Steve grumbled in frustration and glanced down at Jennie. “It’s up to you.”

“If you want to go over, we can. But I make no promises that Carol won’t be wearing my shaved ice before it’s all said and done.”

“And that goes double for Tommy.” Steve muttered, chuckling quietly. Mulling it over.

“Ah, let’s just ignore ‘em. I don’t feel like dealing with his crap.” he spoke up a second or two later.

“Thank God.” Jennie laughed softly. Steve laughed too, shrugging. Practically dragging her as fast as humanly possible right past the table Carol and Tommy were saving for them to sit at and grab a quick bite.

“I know he’s not ditching us.” Carol mused out loud, annoyed. Tommy chuckled, teasing when he called out, “It’s okay man.. I know you’re whipped right now. I’d be whipped too.”

“Seriously? I’m sitting right here. Right beside you, Tommy.”

“I know, babe. I was just sayin, it’s nice Harrington found someone willing to put up with him.”

Carol’s eyes followed the two and she rolled her eyes, grimacing as she mumbled mostly to herself, “He could’ve done so much better than… her.”

Tommy turned to look at her. “Do you have to be such a bitch?”

“Do you have to be such a manwhore?” Carol asked in response, pouting when he mimicked her instead of apologizing.

XXX

The fireworks were starting. Steve and I hurried over. Tommy and Carol were calling his name, but we spotted Nancy, Barb, Jonathan and Logan around the same time. Steve nodded towards my friends and squeezed my hands. “I really don’t feel like hearing Carol’s mouth tonight.”

“And I really don’t feel like catching Tommy attempting to fuck me with his eyes every few seconds, ew.” I responded, asking a second later, “You’re sure you’re okay with sitting with Barb and Nancy, right?”

“Yeah! It’s actually been a lot more fun tonight?” Steve dragged his fingers through his hair as he gazed down at me. I smiled, nodding because I agreed.

Tommy and Carol were still yelling his name. Steve picked me up over his shoulder, making me laugh and a few seconds later, we were settled in between Barb and Nancy, right as the first big burst of color lit the night sky. Steve moved to sit behind me, letting me sit between his legs and lean back on him as he wrapped his arms around me.

All in all, I have to say… Maybe that fortune teller was making everything up. But maybe there was some logic to her words too. Because if I hadn’t just gotten tired of fighting off the pull I felt to Steve all summer long, I never would have agreed to come out on a date with him tonight.

And that would’ve been a serious bummer.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Jenna Tooms

Jenna Tooms has 37 stories at Gossamer, plus you can find X-Files stories and more by her at AO3 (as misslucyjane). I've recced some of my favorites of her fics here before, including the MSR Christmas story An Acceptable Level of Happiness and the historical AU Katherine of Ireland. Big thanks to Jenna for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes, definitely. I had no idea there was still an active X-Files fandom.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

For the most part, it was pretty good. I made a lot of great friends that I'm still in contact with, and I think I learned a lot (by trial and error) about how to behave online.  Writing fanfic with a built-in audience did a lot for my confidence as a writer.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Message boards at first, then mostly email mailing lists.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Writing fic made me a better writer. Fandom has introduced to a lot of amazing people.

But there were some bad feelings, mostly the vitriol directed at Doggett and Reyes, towards the end of the series that ruined the rest of it for me. I've kind of held back from getting super-involved in fandom since.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I've always liked things like ghost stories and cryptozoology, so that drew me in at first. I think my first episode was The Host in summer reruns, as I was working Friday nights at the time and only learned about it from my dorm mates. We lived together again in an off-campus apartment a year or two later, and by then XF was on Sunday nights so that was our standing Sunday night appointment TV.

I feel old.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I knew what fanfic was, more or less, and had been writing since Star Wars: A New Hope was originally released. When I first wanted to get involved in XF fandom I went looking for other fans, and found the OBSSE (Order of the Blessed Saint Scully the Enigmatic) newsletter, which had fanfic recs. I can't remember what story it was specifically but I'm pretty sure it was by MustangSally.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Like an ex whose good times were very, very good, but whose bad times were horrid.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I've been involved, to various degrees, in Harry Potter, Supernatural, Doctor Who/Torchwood, MCU, and Sherlock fandoms, and dabbled in a few smaller ones.

I've also playing in a multi-fandom role-play game since 2004, that introduced me to some great fandoms and some amazing people. The game is kind of a fandom in itself, and is the only thing I've been as intensely involved in as X-Files.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Dana Scully, Steve Rogers, Sherlock Holmes (any incarnation), Deadpool, Sansa Stark, Aang, Groot, Peter Parker, Wonder Woman. Yes, I am looking at my Funko Pops :).

I tend to like characters who are trying to do good in the world, or who stay strong in the face of adversity. I have no explanation for Deadpool except that he's Deadpool.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

No, not really. I haven't watched the new series or any of the movies since the first one. I think of Mulder and Scully fondly, but I don't feel the need to revisit them.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

X-Files, no. If I come along something promising in a fandom I'm interested in like the MCU or Sherlock, or if something is recommended by someone whose taste I trust or written by an author I ready like, then I'll read it.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I really liked bugs, Rachel Anton, David Hearne, Plausible Deniability, Penumbra, Terma99, and OneMillionStars, I think their pen name was? [Lilydale note: I think this is Onemillionandnine.] Some stories I liked are "Condemned to Repeat It" [Lilydale note: by Branwell], "Cherry Ripe" by Rachel Anton [Lilydale note: co-written with Laura Blaurosen], "Cadenza" (part 1, part 2) by Terma99, and "Twelve Inches" by Federal Dust. There were more but all my saved files were lost several computers ago. 

[Lilydale note: try as I might, I could not find “Twelve Inches” online, not even a mention of it. However, I have a copy saved from 2003 (!!). It’s a season 8 story with the summary “In trying to understand his own feelings about women and relationships, Doggett inadvertently helps Scully understand Mulder.”]. 

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Favorite X-Files fic is Draw Down the Moon, a Scully/Doggett post-canon AU.

Favorite in general is Apocalyptic Love Songs, a Supernatural Dean/Castial fic I wrote for a Big Bang challenge. I'd had the idea for a modern-day Grail quest for a long time -- originally as an XF fic, in fact -- but could never figure out how to do it until Supernatural came along.

(Because of the actions of some unscrupulous persons, all my fic on AO3 is locked to members.)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

No, I don't see that happening.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I write a little fanfic now and then, mostly for Yuletide or other challenges that catch my eye.

I have been writing and publishing original work since 2007 with a small publisher that is now shut down. I'm now publishing independently.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

It's hard to say. Sometimes I hear a line or two of dialogue in my head and want to see where the conversation goes. Sometimes I just have a random thought of "What if..." and have to find the answer to that question.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I get bored of names easily so I've changed it a few times. I currently write fic as Misslucyjane, which is a nickname my mother calls me.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

They knew I write it, they don't know the content. I'm okay with that.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Fanfic is at misslucyjane.me (though I haven't updated it in ages) and Archive of Our Own (as misslucyjane). Original fiction, largely M/M romance, is posted or linked at jennalynnbrown.com. I hang out on Twitter as @misslucyjane.

(Posted by Lilydale on September 22, 2020)

[yikesharringrove]

You've given us DadHopper taking care of Billy and learning how to deal with his issues with the help of Steve, buy what about Hopper and maybe Joyce (because Steve's parents always seen like a double dose of bad that feeds off each other) accidentally triggering a panic attack in Steve? Maybe that being when they realize how important they are to Steve with a bit of Billy and/or some of the kids yelling at them to really drive it home?

Under the cut. There’s some mentions of Steve’s terrible parents and Steve having a panic attack. This is based on a lot of my own personal head canons for this tiny boy that I include in most of my works.

Read on ao3

Steve can take being made fun of.

Seriously, look at who is best friends are, his boyfriend. The kids poke at him, Robin is always cracking jokes, and Billy loves teasing him just to get him all riled up.

But they always know what to avoid, how certain deliveries can cut him.

He’s sitting at dinner with Hopper and Joyce and Billy. He was over, just watching a movie with Billy when Joyce arrived, toting a big lasagna and a few side dishes.

Hop had invited her over while El was having dinner with the Wheelers’. (He thought Billy and Steve were going out, but apparently Billy just couldn’t be fucked to leave the house tonight). So now he was kind of on a double date with his son.

Dinner was nice. Steve helped Joyce in the kitchen while Hop and Billy set the table, crashing onto the couch after. Billy grinned and winked at Steve, starting cracking jokes about look at our cute little wifies makin’ us dinner. Get yourself a GOOD woman. Steve threw a piece of garlic bread at him.

Everyone was having a good time, crowded around the small table Hopper had bought after realizing they all needed a lot more space than just he and El did. Joyce asked the boys about school, how Steve’s new job at the ice cream place in the mall was.

But then Hopper turned to Steve, asked him what his plans for after graduation were.

“I was thinking about taking some time off. Working for a little while so I can figure out what I want to do.” Steve was pushing a chunk of tomato around on his plate.

“So you’re big plans are working at the mall?” Steve’s ears were tinged red. He was staring at his plate, the piece of tomato.

“Why does he have to know right now? He doesn’t.” Billy was always quick to defend Steve, but he could tell where this was going, could smell it a mile away. He knew Hop didn’t mean anything by it, was just being the chiding dad wanting to look out for his son, but this was a touchy subject. Steve often got yelled at for not having future plans, for throwing his future away.

“I thought Jonathan told me you were going to work for your dad.” Steve starting taking practiced breaths, glancing up to smile at Joyce before looking back down.

“Uh, that was the, the plan but that’s, it’s not anymore.”

“What do you mean? That would be a better job to tide you over than the mall.” Billy kicked Hop under the table, shaking his head just a little, eyes wide.

“Uh, yes. Yes it would be, but um, since I  don’t, won’t have a, a degree, the offer has been rescinded.” Billy closed his eyes. Figured rescinded was the exact word Mr. Piece-of-Shit Harrington had used after calling his son his idiot for an hour. Billy hadn’t gotten the whole story, Steve didn’t tend to speak clearly when he was sobbing into Billy’s neck.

“Wait, what do you mean you won’t have a degree?”

“Dad-”

“I didn’t get into college. Any college. Not even Tech,” He placed his fork down, blinking rapidly. “Thank you so much for dinner, but I really have to be going.” He gave a weak smile at Billy who stood up with him, following Steve out of the cabin, throwing a glare over his shoulder at Hop.

Joyce began picking up plates.

“I don’t feel good about that, Hop.” She put the plates on the kitchen counter, standing on her toes to look out the window. “Oh no.”

Hop joined her, got a clear view of Billy sitting on the porch steps, Steve draped over him, completely in his lap. He had his face buried in Billy’s shoulder, and they could see the way his back was heaving, shaking as Billy rubbed gently up and down it, one hand playing with Steve’s hair.

“That, uh, that doesn’t look good.” Joyce turned to Hopper.

“I didn’t think we were, were hard on him, I mean maybe you could’ve gone in on him less-”

“I just spent a lot of years dealing with that kid being a brat. I want to make sure he’s good enough for my son. Billy has all of his eggs in that kid’s basket and he’s working at a mall for the foreseeable future.”

“Yeah but Hop, that’s not your call to make. He’s a good kid, he’s good with the kids, and he’s good to Billy, good for him to. Billy can make his own decisions about who’s in his life.”

“But I’m just worried about Steve being dead weight. Billy’s smart I’ve seen his report cards. He could go anywhere, do anything, but he’s gonna end up sitting in Hawkins working minimum wage because he doesn't wanna leave Steve.”

The front door slammed shut.

Billy was standing in the threshold, shoulders drawn tight, fists clenched.

“Jesus Hop, tell me how you really fuckin’ feel.” Hopper sighed.

“Look, you know I like the kid, you’ve just got a brighter future than-”

“You know he told me he sees you guys as his parents. You know why? Because his parents fucking suck.” He came to stand on the other side of the L shaped counter, looking sternly at Hop and Joyce. “Do you remember when he came over because he wanted to tell me he got a B on the essay I helped him write, and you patted him on the back and said good job, kid.” He gave a gruff imitation of Hopper. “You probably don’t, because it was such a nothing moment, but he talked about that for weeks. If he had brought home a B to his own parents, his dad would’ve yelled that he can do better and his mom would’ve taken her Vicodin and went to bed. Because that’s what his house is like. A B is the best grade he’s ever gotten.”

“Well, not for nothing, but there is a grade higher than-” Billy cut Hopper off with what sounded like a fucking growl.

“When Steve was five his teacher wanted to test him for dyslexia and ADHD and all this other shit that, mind you, he obviously fucking has, but his dad wouldn’t let him get tested. He said Steve just needs to work harder and calls Steve a retard and all this shit like every day. School is really fucking hard for him because he can barely fucking read on a good day and no one has ever helped him. He got a B on that paper because I read the book out loud to him, and he could actually understand the meaning of everything because he wasn’t trying to decipher all these letters moving around. And when he didn’t get into college, his dad went off on him, and told him he’s a disappointment, and told him he has one year to work and re-apply and get into college or he’s cut off. And don’t even get me started on his mom.”

Joyce looked like she was about to cry. Hopper felt like shit, felt like there was cold water running down his spine.

“You know she tells Steve she doesn’t love him? Seriously, she did it in front of me one night, like got drunk and starting talking about how she feels literally no emotions towards him, and never has.

He took a deep breath, gripping the edge of the counter so tightly his knuckles were white.

“So then tonight, you start in on him, saying a lot of the same shit his dad has been saying to him, except this time, he actually really cares what you think, thinks of you as more a father than his own dad, and you just shattered his fucking world. He’s out on the front porch right now, probably calling himself stupid and trying to pull chunks of his fucking hair out, because that’s his panic attack M.O.” Billy snatched up his and Steve’s jackets, Steve’s keys. “I’m going to take him home and stay the night with him to make sure he doesn’t fucking hurt himself because of this.” He stomped towards the door, turning back one last time. “And I expect and apology.”

It was silent after he left. They could hear him gently coercing Steve into the car, lots of hushed it’s okay Baby and hey, quit pullin’ your hair. They could hear Steve’s car start and pull out of the drive.

“Joyce, I feel like shit.” Her eyes were sympathetic.

“Me too, Hop. I had no idea. Can you imagine having a child and being that cruel?” Hop sat down on the couch, burying his head in his hands.

“And I can’t even fucking adopt him because he’s eighteen.” Joyce was quiet.

“Is that how you solve problems now? Adopting kids?” He looked at her.

“Worked for the other two, didn’t it?” She gave him a Look.

“I’m so embarrassed.” She sat down next to him, tucking herself under his arm. “That poor boy. That actually explains so much.”

“It really does. God, he’s just been crying out for fucking attention this whole time. Why didn’t I see it?” He groaned. “And I called him fucking dead weight, Joyce I’m a terrible person. I fucking remember that essay, because his face fucking lit up, and I thought it was kinda, kinda weird, but I don’t know if he’s ever heard good job before.”

Over the next few weeks, every time Steve was over Hopper tried to be kinder, softer. He had apologized to Steve, told him he didn’t need to figure himself out right now, and told him about how it took Hop three years of wasting away at University to realize he wanted to joint the police force.

The next time he came in with B paper that Billy helped him with, Hopper put it on the fridge, next to El’s list of daily vocab words, a few pictures Jonathan has taken, three of Will’s drawings, and Billy’s quarterly report cards (straight A’s, 4.0 GPA because his son is fucking smart).

“So, I pulled a few strings, got you in here with pretty short notice.” Hop was standing with Steve outside of a plain building. He had taken him into the city, said he needed help with something for Billy.

“What, what do you mean?”

“You’re gonna be tested for dyslexia. The test takes about 6 hours, but afterwards they’re going to know exactly how to help you.”Steve was looking at him with big eyes. Hopper awkwardly handed him a brown paper sack. “Joyce packed you some snacks and a lunch. You’ll get breaks and stuff. And don’t stress yourself out. There’s no right answers, this is just to find the best ways to help.” Hopper led Steve into the building, checking him in at the front desk. Steve was quiet behind him, had been blinking a lot as he looked around the testing center.

“I’m going to stay in the city in case you finish early.” He gave Steve a small smile, squeezing his shoulder. “Good luck.” He went to turn around, but was tackled into a tight hug, Steve squeezing Hopper probably as much as he could. He squeezed the kid back, gently patting his back. When Steve pulled away, he looked Hop int he eye.

“Thank you.”

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 7, Number 9

Les Filles de Illighadad

Another collection of short reviews closes out this week at Dusted, with selections ranging from avant garde classical to free jazz to whacko punk to an unusually gender-inclusive guitar band from Niger.  Writers this time included the usual stalwarts, Bill Meyer, Ray Garraty, Jennifer Kelly, Jonathan Shaw, Bryon Hayes, Tim Clarke, Andrew Forell and Chris Liberato. Enjoy.

All Set — All Set (RogueArt)

In 1957, serialist composer Milton Babbitt’s All Set applied his language-transforming compositional tool kit to the sonic resources of a jazz orchestra. Six decades and change down the road, such ideas haven’t exactly infiltrated the mainstream of either jazz or orchestral music, but they’ve become as handy for some music makers as hammers and nails are for carpenters. So, when saxophonic colleagues Ingrid Laubrock (who sticks to tenor here) and Stéphane Payen (playing the straight alto) needed to come up with a framework to make music together, out came Babbitt’s notion, which they did not play straight, but used as a suggestions for writing their own tunes, and for good measure named their band after the Babbitt’s piece The formative influence manifests in zig-zagging intervallic leaps, but instead of treating these of ends in themselves, the saxophonists carry on constant overlapping dialogues. The rhythm section of Chris Tordini (bass) and Tom Rainey (drums) can’t help but swing, but they do so in a shifting, discontinuous fashion that occasionally leaves it to the saxophonists to play the gaps as well as the horns they use the fill them.

Bill Meyer

 Rodrigo Amado Motion Trio & Alexander Von Schlippenbach — The Field (No Business)

The Field by Rodrigo Amado Motion Trio & Alexander von Schlippenbach

Motion Trio is one of tenor saxophonist Rodrigo Amado’s more enduring combos. But it’s not one that has played often in the years preceding this concert, a consequence of the growth and success of its members; Amado, cellist Miguel Mira and drummer Gabriel Ferrandini all keep busy with other projects. So, this encounter with pianist Alexander von Schlippenbach, which took place in Vilnius, Lithuania in 2019, was not just a reenactment of the trio’s favorite tactic of improvising with a strong fourth musician, but a reunion of the trio itself. This means that the process-oriented can listen for three comrades finding reviving a common language at the same time that they confront with an outsider’s efforts to deal with it. Schlippenbach’s playing brings an unusual harmonic density to Motion Trio’s music, which seems to coax an especially dynamic and at times reflective response from the saxophonist. Ferandini, on the other hand, proposes shapes and timbres that seem to build out from Schlippenbach’s intricate constructions, while Mira keeps up a steady, almost subliminal stream of contrapuntal commentary that is simultaneously assertive and nearly subliminal. But some of the concert’s most exciting moments come when the pianist lays out for a second, and you can hear Motion Trio’s members responding to each other.

Bill Meyer

  BangGang Lonnie Bands — H2K On the Way (TF Entertainment \ Anti Media)

Lots of artists have watched small projects intended only as appetizers grow to surpass their grander efforts. BangGang Lonnie Bands’ recent work, especially his King of Detroit albums, contained a few gems but were bloated in length. There was an ironic twist, as Lonnie’s claimed the throne to the city where he no longer resides. While it remains to be seen what the rapper brings after H2K On the Way, this 15 minutes long EP is his leanest work in years, leaving a long list of LPs behind. Lonnie no longer flirts with scam rap and returns to murder music, fusing gutsiest Michigan-style punchlines with no hostage Californian approach to verse spitting. He’s the naughtiest when he’s trolling the music industry: “Copped a 100 pounds of crank \ should have bought a verse from Drake.” 

Ray Garraty  

  Buffalo Daughter — We Are the Times (Anniversary)

Buffalo Daughter always caught in the cracks between mainstream and experimental, layering vocal sweetness over chopped up blippy beats, not as wildly original as OOIOO, but not exactly girl pop either. This latest album comes after a long break and a slightly less lengthy COVID lockdown, and it’s got some prickly, dreamy jams, part dance, part pop, part funk, part inscrutable. “ET (Densha)” is the mad, moody single, full of low-end synth blasts and thundering drums, but leavened by high whispery vocals. It’s like Shackleton sound-tracking a Hello Kitty movie. “Global Warming Will Kill Us All” is similarly ominous, with vocoder chants and trippy pop choruses and blown out by phosphorescent blots of synth, but I like “Don’t Punk Out” the best, because it struts like an animatronic James Brown, the funk percolating through gleaming futuristic swells of sounds. If disco’s going to come back, can it be this weird and disorienting?

Jennifer Kelly

 Fashion Pimps and the Glamazons — Jazz 4 Johnny (Feel It Records)

Jazz 4 Johnny by Fashion Pimps And The Glamazons

This new EP from Fashion Pimps and the Glamazons manages to fit into the tradition of whacko punk records from Cleveland (and what a tradition that is…) and to comment on the problematic nature of tradition itself. There’s a decided No Wave vibe to Jazz 4 Johnny: listen to it, and you’ll flash on Buy Contortions and on Robert Quine’s attempts to channel Miles Davis and Pharoah Sanders through his guitar. At points you’ll swear there’s a sax somewhere in the buzz and thunder that the Fashion Pimps create — but that’s just Richard Glamazon’s skronky guitar tone, which does Quine one better by not only aping the cadences of a free jazz solo but also the sound of a brassy axe. That’s fun, but we should also recall No Wave’s sharp antipathies for concepts like “tradition” or “perpetuity.” A lot of those bands wanted to neutralize their own existence and thus evade the ultimately conservative action of canonization. Other tunes on Jazz 4 Johnny are more engaged with the later Downtown noise rock scene. The guitar on “Dream Police” gestures toward early Sonic Youth—but even there, the band can’t quite help themselves. Vocalist Steve Chainsaw shouts, “Show me your DNA!” Most of those references are based in Manhattan, so what about Cleveland? The city often recedes into the background when conversations turn to rock-n-roll history, which is too bad. Fashion Pimps and the Glamazons don’t sound all that much like electric eels or Pere Ubu, but the band is tuned into a similarly feral, post-industrial ethos and an avant-garde sensibility that makes anti-art into art you can dance to. Or break things to. Or both. Which may be the best response to the wild and smart tunes on this record.

Jonathan Shaw

 Les Filles de Illighadad — At Pioneer Works (Sahel Sounds)

At Pioneer Works by Les Filles de Illighadad

The entrancing At Pioneer Works documents the American touring debut of Niger-based Tuareg ensemble Les Filles de Illighadad, specifically a pair of shows at the eponymous Brooklyn venue. Travelling as a four-piece ensemble, the band created a swirling three-guitar maelstrom, as captured on this pristine-sounding recording. Founder Fatou Seidi Ghali — the first known woman Tuareg guitarist — and her cousin Alamnou Akrouni were joined by Fatimata Ahmadelher, the only other known woman Tuareg guitarist, with Ghali’s brother accompanying on rhythm guitar. Blending the traditional calabash drum and call-and-response vocals of the tende song form with the electric guitar, Ghali and company steep the communal origins of their sound with a gentle clangor. The music is simultaneously hypnotic and driving, the four performers acting as one multi-limbed, multi-throated being. For the most part, Ghali is content setting the pace and playing along with the melody. One exception is the trio of deftly executed solos during “Chakalan,” where she demonstrates her prowess with six strings. Reports from those Brooklyn shows indicate that the band completely enraptured their audience, and if At Pioneer Works represents only a fraction of how powerful Les Filles de Illighadad are live, this writer doesn’t doubt that at all.

Bryon Hayes  

 Henri Guédon — Karma (Outre National)

Karma by Henri Guédon

You don’t have to be a big fan of R.E.M. to feel overly familiar with “It’s The End of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine).” In dire times, it’s such an easy go-to tune that even adherence to lockdown prescriptions won’t keep it out of your ears. So, deejays, we’ve done your research for you, and found a new tune to soundtrack defiant frugging in the face of disaster. It’s called “Fin Di Mond,” by Martinique-based singer/percussionist/sculptor Henri Guédon. It, and eight more similarly motion-motivating tunes, can be found on Karma, a predominantly celebratory set of retro-futuristic, Franco-Caribbean grooves. Mind you, this music wasn’t retro when Guédon recorded it 46 years ago; the synth lines that swoop through its massed percussion were probably the height of modernity back in the day. Heard now, this music is just the thing to put time itself on pause.

Bill Meyer

HTRK — Rhinestones (Heavy Machinery)

Rhinestones by HTRK

Rhinestones is a sneaky one from Melbourne’s HTRK, a slight but incisive release that seems minor compared to their previous albums but cuts just as deep. Running to a brutally economical 26 minutes, most of the album is built around delayed guitar, drum machine and Jonnine Standish’s ghostly, dejected voice. To a world laid low by the pandemic, Standish sounds startlingly apposite for these times, and track titles like “Sunlight Feels Like Bee Stings,” “Real Headfuck” and “Straight to Hell” signpost the vibe clearly. This is sad, skeletal music, sure to offer a degree of solace if you’re weary, wrung out or wasted — 2021 in a nutshell.

Tim Clarke  

 Matt Jencik — Matt & Lyra (Trouble In Mind)

Matt & Lyra by matt jencik

Matt Jencik is a member of doomy, spacey Chicago band Implodes, plus he’s released two solo guitar albums: 2017’s Weird Times and 2019’s Dream Character. For his latest, Matt & Lyra, part of Trouble In Mind’s Explorers Series, Jencik focuses on the thick, fuzzy tones of the Russian-built Lyra-8 synthesizer (hence the album title). Having said that, he does pull out his guitars to add some acoustic strumming to “Cmellow Ayellow,” and builds 16-minute closer “Clandestine Half Pipe” around electric guitar drones before the Lyra begins to dominate the frame. Jencik apparently made this music to help him sleep, and while this music is suited to nocturnal listening, with an all-enveloping warmth, there’s also the sense of something looming in the darkness. Whether this presence is reassuring or threatening probably depends on the frame of mind with which you approach this immersive 35-minute release.

Tim Clarke

 Joakim — Second Nature (Tiger Sushi)

French producer and Tiger Sushi founder Joakim’s Second Nature is a reflection on the state of the world. It combines samples of whales, elephants, toads and other wildlife with the kind of pop facing ambient techno from aughts chillout compilations.  It is testament to his skill as a producer that the record doesn’t wear out its welcome despite the occasional lapse into the anodyne and the associations this kind of gentle background music evokes. When Joakim disturbs the tranquility on tracks like “Sferics & Whistlers” with its crackles of static and breakdown of discordant notes, Angel Bat Dawid’s klezmatic clarinet on “Waves Ahead” and the komische roll of “Kepler-39” that one is jolts from reverie and pays close attention, but at 16 tracks it feels like Second Nature needs more such moments.

Andrew Forell 

 The Killing Popes — Ego Kills (Shhpuma)

Ego Kills by The Killing Popes

Thank god this unfortunately named combo isn’t someone’s absurd scheme to crossbreed the sounds of Killing Joke and Smoking Popes. Instead, the Berlin-based project exists at the crossroads of jazz and electronics. I know what you’re thinking, and no this isn’t a modern take on acid jazz; this crew makes a jazz-on-acid sort of racket. The core Popes are drummer-percussionist Oli Steidle and multi-instrumentalist Dan Nicholls, who together conjure up a brew with a myriad of ingredients. Their genre-defying fusion of disciplines does have a center, however. Steidle’s dextrous drumming and the elastic band bass proffered by Phil Donkin serve as an anchor point for the other elements — both melodic and bizarre — to revolve around. The addition of vocals inserts the sense of narrative, creating a gravity that tugs at the sounds and prevent them from spiralling out of orbit. As zany as Ego Kills may be, it’s jazz-like enough for afficionados to appreciate. On their own, each of the instrumentalists demonstrates a mastery of their craft; together, they create an uncanny sort of magic.

Bryon Hayes

 Norman W. Long — BLACK BROWN GRAY GREEN (Hausu Mountain)

BLACK BROWN GRAY GREEN by Norman W. Long

Chicago soundscapist Norman W. Long walks his southeast Chicago neighborhood, listens deeply and records the ambient sounds of nature, the echoes of railyards, wasteland and industrial sites both working and abandoned. Adding subtle electronics and treatments to his field recordings, Long conjures atmospheres that speak to space, atrophy and the delicate symbiosis between nature and humanity. On BLACK BROWN GRAY GREEN he immerses listeners in the often unnoticed aural richness at the intersection of the built, neglected and the natural. His choices about when to augment or to present his sources as are forms a narrative of associations, displacements and tensions. Long’s is also a story of reclamation and recognition, a rumination on the situation of the largely minority and migrant populations who live in the neighborhood, many of whom toil as essential workers across the city in the face of ongoing prejudice and hostility. Site specificity is integral to Long’s art but his themes are universal.

Andrew Forell 

 Andy Moor — Music For Safe Piece (Unsounds)

Music For Safe Piece by Andy Moor

Music For Safe Piece is the antidote for every piece of children’s music that’s ever made you want to not hear another played or sung note, ever again. Electric guitarist Andy Moor (the Ex, Dog Faced Hermans) and dancer Valentina Campora have included their sons, Elio and Milo, in onstage performance ever since they were so young, they had to be swaddled and strapped to one of their parents in order to participate. The recorded results of this shared adventure are raw, unpredictable and exhilarating. Moor’s guitar, occasionally augmented by a child’s vocalization, a foot pounding the floor or some choice tune fragments on a cassette tape, blazes a trail of reverberations, scrapes and wobbles. In performance, the boys are known to get in on the act, helping pop to make his sounds while mom handles the movement. This music isn’t particularly pacific, but it’s pretty close to the way kids actually play when no one’s stopping them. The technologically adept will find a QR code inside the CD’s gatefold, which unlocks the short film, “Safe Piece.”

Bill Meyer

RXM Reality — Advent (Orange Milk)

Advent by RXM REALITY

Long-time Hausu Mountain dweller Mike Meegan has relocated to the Orange Milk abode, taming his frenetic brand of electronic mayhem in the process. The blown-out, off-the-grid beats are still plentiful, but with Advent Meegan injects his tunes with melody. He’s also allowed himself to slow down and relax. The vast expanse of “Character Limit” literally breathes deeply as Meegan allows it to swirl around. He drinks up the pleasant melodic aromas of the track before switching gears and unloading burst after burst of explosive beats. “These Days” comes off as an electro-shoegaze hybrid, with gauzy synth pads that float effortlessly among bouncy percussion clusters. Of course, the signature RXM Reality sound — a hybrid of 1990s video game and blockbuster movie — is present and accounted for in tracks like “Allure,” “Screaming,” and “Grip of Evil.” Yet even these balls of energy are tempered with shades of consonance. Having blunted some of the jagged edges of his frantic brand of electronic music, Meegan fits in nicely among the kooky ranks of the Orange Milk imprint.

 Bryon Hayes

 Macie Stewart — Mouth Full of Glass (Orindal)

Mouth Full of Glass by Macie Stewart

You might already know Macie Stewart as one-half of the complicated indie rock duo Ohmme or for her regular appearances as violinist of choice in Chicago jazz and experimental music scenes, but this solo LP shows another side.  These eight songs are lushly, intricately arranged with strings, orchestral instruments and brass, recorded with precision and clarity, but nonetheless personal and introspective.  “Garter Snake” sheathes flaying honesty with baroque instrumental flourishes. Stewart’s voice is bare and unaffected as she confides, “I am addicted…to indecision,” but she makes riveting choices in framing the melody.  Old-fashioned movie strings swell in the spaces between talking-right-to-you verses; agile guitar chords mark time.  “Finally” begins in bare, Bahian guitar play, as Stewart’s voice flutters and floats an unpredictable but fetching tune.  Strings swoop in at the end of the phrase, lavish and lucid.  The title track unlooses massed, harmonized vocals on the spare architecture of picked guitar, a shock of extravagant sung beauty in an otherwise restrained palette.  Like Wendy Eisenberg, but with different instruments, Stewart weaves post-modern complexity into the delicate fabric of pop songs.  The difficulty — combined with the beauty — makes this music memorable.

Jennifer Kelly

 Stingray — Feeding Time (La Vida es un Mus)

Feeding Time by Stingray

In places where heavy music is played and endlessly debated, 1982 might be most strongly associated with English street punk — see the ersatz “genre” of UK82, which enshrines the year and ties it to acid green liberty spikes and scuffed Doc Martens. Fair enough. But street punk was thoroughly informed by the dirty working-class metal being made by bands like Motörhead and Venom, and this new EP by Stingray celebrates those noisy intersections of influence. Of course, Stingray’s version of celebration likely involves several cases of Bass Ale, an eightball of something white and a fistfight or two. Or five. The English band features members of other current hard-driving acts, including Subdued, the Chisel and Chain of Flowers, but Stingray doesn’t prize currency. The songs are short, hard and nasty, landing their punches like a “Bomber” and also like a bunch of “Death Dealers.” The guys in Stingray understand the past they’re drawing on, but does music like this have a future? Fuck knows. Do any of us have a future? Does the earthball? The tunes are less interested in such flights of existential angst, and more intent on their rapacious appetites for speed, sweat and raunch. It’s Feeding Time. Get it while you can.

Jonathan Shaw

Nick Storring — Newfoundout (Mappa)

Newfoundout by Nick Storring

You’ll miss some towns if you blink. The ones that have given their names to the compositions on Newfoundout might confound both eyesight and your GPS, since they are all ghost towns in Ontario, Canada. The music that Nick Storring has made to go with these titles is correspondingly elusive. Performed entirely by the composer, using strings, percussion and whatever bric-a-brac happened to be at hand, it is by turns lush, staccato and propulsive. “The sounds are never particularly difficult, but they rarely telegraph where they’re going, so if you listen passively, sooner or later you’ll look up in dismay, wondering how things got from where they were to where they are now. “Khartum,” for example, starts out sounding a lot like “In A Silent Way,” and finishes up sounding like a respectfully paced conference of grandfather clock chimes. So, put your head back and your ears forward, and let Mr. Storring do the driving. 

Bill Meyer

Ten Ka — Sonic Geometry: Structures, Patterns And Forms (Jersika)

sonic geometry: structures, patterns and forms by TEN KA

Ten Ka is experimental side project of Deniss Pashkevich, a Latvian woodwinds player. The album title’s invocation of mathematics is apt, since this music is produced by dissimilar musical values acting upon each other. Pashkevich’s sound on tenor sax is full and soft around the edges, which is probably what it takes to be a working musician in a part of the world that doesn’t have much of a jazz tradition; on flutes, and especially the Bansuri, he hints at a far Eastern vibe. He also plays Fender Rhodes and prepared acoustic piano, bringing in further elements of user-friendly jazz, but also some sharp, Cage-y edges. But most of the nine tracks on Sonic Geometry: Structures, Patterns And Forms feature modular synths, which provide a foundation of pulsing bass patterns and some intriguing disruptive, acidic sizzles.  It all adds up to something simultaneously familiar and out of the ordinary.

Bill Meyer

 Luis Vicente / Vasco Trilla — Made Of Dust (577 Records)

Made of Mist by Luis Vicente & Vasco Trilla

Not many improvisational settings are more exposed that the drums and trumpet duet. The two instruments are sufficiently different in timbre and frequency range that you can’t help but hear everything each player does, and also how those actions fit together. Trumpeter Luis Vicente and percussionist Vasco Trilla approach this situation with a combination of relaxed consideration and wholly earned confidence. Vicente can power-play when necessary, but for this session, he exercises restraint, using mutes to extract the most lyrical and vocal sounds he can muster. Trilla likewise seeks out the extremities of his kit, drawing continuous ribbons of widely differing characters, such as the alarm clock-like clatter and low-scrubbed drumskin heard on “Swirling Mist.” Their interactions are not just sonically novel, but trusting and deeply intimate.

Bill Meyer   

 Simon Waldram — So It Goes (Self-released)

So It Goes by Simon Waldram

Simon Waldram’s refrain-heavy eighth solo album, So It Goes, is a song cycle on love, loss and acceptance influenced by classic indie pop bands like The Field Mice, The Fat Tulips and The Go-Betweens. Indeed, it was the Grant McLennan-channelling “Don’t Worry,” a plaintive reassurance to a past lover, that initially caught my attention. But “I Miss The Sun” betters it, really laying on the Hammond, and squeezing in something noticeably absent from the other songs: a bridge. “When will we see the lull again/Feels like these dark days will never end,” Waldram sings, reestablishing buoyancy as it winds down repeating the title phrase. There’s promise elsewhere, like on the 1960’s-flavored psych strummer “Boats In The Sky,” before it lifts its bow in harmonic repetition a few too many times without checking its fuel gauge first, stranding itself in the firmament. “The Wild Wanderings of Wildebeests” is another one with potential, but its flawless first verse’s worth of strum and fuzz just recurs instead of building towards something of greater impact. The record hits its lowest point on the nearly nine-minute “Windswept,'' a “Primitive Painters'' rip that goes nowhere productive. When Waldram starts repeating ad infinitum “I miss you so much/ I can’t let go of this dream of ours,” you wish you could step in and save him from himself. A pleasant enough acoustic instrumental with birdsong follows in the form of “One May Afternoon,” serving as a much-needed palate cleanser and bridging the gap to the album’s closer. However, “Shimmer” is another moaner that never quite rounds into shape and instead fades out and then, unremarkably, back in.  There’s an EP’s worth of good material on So It Goes, but as an album it only ends up burning itself with the flame its carrying, leaving the listener wondering, “Who hurt you, Simon?”

Chris Liberato

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Avengers Endgame”

Yes- I still haven’t seen this movie.  Yes I know exactly what happens in this movie.  I mainly avoided it for a while due to overhype but with some convincing from my brother, Imma sit my butt down and try to watch this.

Pressing... play!

Right off the bat, I feel like I should warn you guys and say that I have... my opinions... about stuff.  Plus I’m a dumbass about Marvel so just bear with me.

I like that Disney Plus has to warn us about product placement

Clint!

Are we gonna see little Nathaniel running around- THERE he is!

We are gonna see Clint’s entire family get freaking obliterated

Is all the rumbling from the sky or are those airplanes freaking crashing to Earth in the distance?

What if they pulled a reverse WandaVision and showed the people getting snapped out of existence in a future film or show?  That would be freaking terrifying.

They’re [Tony and Nebula] playing paper football...

I wanna see more of THEIR interactions aboard the Milano.  The shots of them just repairing the ship are great too.

“I’m fine.  Totally fine.”  Everyone ever.

I also like you see the visual difference between Tony and Nebula.  While he’s growing gaunt and haggard from loss of oxygen, you can still see that Nebula looks absolutely fine because she’s like 75% android

So between 1995 and now, what the heck has Carol been up to?

“Thanos wiped out... 50% of all living creatures.”  So like entire ecosystems are just demolished.

*anthropology major part of my brain scrambling for answers*

“We lost.  And you [Steve] weren’t there.”  HE WAS IN WAKANDA!

Wait so the arc reactor ISN’T in Tony’s chest anymore?

“Where the hell have you [Carol] been all this time?”  Good question!

*silently bops to opening theme*

For some reason, I just really want the ship radio to randomly turn on so you just see everyone sitting awkwardly as “Piano Man” plays over the speakers

*Thanos slowly cooks his food*  Faster, all together now!  COOKING CAN BE FUN!

“I [Thanos] used the stones to destroy the stones.”  ...what?

“I am...[Thanos] inevitable.”  *starts humming “Inevitable” from TGWDLM*

“I [Thor] went for the head.”  YES YOU DID

[FIVE YEARS LATER] All righty so we’re doing this

*gasps*  Is... Steve running the therapy sit downs like Sam did in “The Winter Soldier”?  That’s awesome.  I really like this tidbit.

I’m also really liking Alan Silvestri’s score for this so far

I’m really trying not to nitpick but I feel like it would take more than 5 years for greenery to just completely overtake a suburban neighborhood

Also wow pre COVID life looks great you guys

“There’s a part of me that doesn’t even wanna find him.”  Are they talking about... Clint?  Is Clint just going the full vigilante route?

DOES HE KILL PEOPLE?!?

I really like Steve and Natasha’s friendship in these movies but for some reason I don’t feel like we get enough of Natasha for me to get behind her on an emotional standpoint

Are they gonna use the quantum realm to jumpstart the multiverse for Phase 4?

Also speaking of multiverse, I honestly really don’t want Spiderman:  No Way Home or Wandavision to get too cluttered by that

I like Tony’s lake house.  And he got a whole vegetable garden going too.  Kudos!

The little kid who plays Morgan Stark is adorable

“Not if we strictly follow the rules of time travel.”  Which we obviously won’t.

“We’re gonna need a really big brain.”  So where the [expletive] is Banner?

“Stranger danger.”  *snorts*

“Dab!”  *rolls eyes*

So is the whole Professor Hulk thing permanent?  I know he’s gonna be in the She-Hulk show but I’m wondering how they’re gonna tackle that.  And they’re gonna have Tim Roth too!

*smiles when Tony takes Morgan to bed*

Steve Rogers here [when they do the first time travel tests] is a Look ™

Maybe don’t let the GIANT GREEN MAN keep pressing a bunch of tiny tiny important buttons on a dashboard

*laughs at Steve shaking his head in disbelief when they finally bring Scott back*

*Tony’s car races toward the Avengers base*  NYOOOMMMM

*Tony rolls down his window*  It’s Britney, bitch

“And maybe not die trying.”  And you definitely will.

This whole bit where Scott keeps losing his dorito only to get another one from Bruce feels like a Doritos commercial.

*jams out to "Supersonic Rocket Ship by The Kinks*

Did they just keep reducing the green pigment for Hulk or what?

*sighs when they reveal Fat!Thor*

MIEK’S ALIVE!

Please tell me Noobmaster69 is Kid Loki, whom we meet in the Loki series

“Don’t... say that name.”  “Yeah we actually don’t say that name here.”  I like this.  I like that Thor has so much resentment for killing Thanos at the wrong time and that he felt that could have done better cause he’s A GOD.  So the fact that THANOS was on equal level and BEAT HIM-

Hawkeye’s killing people

This sword fight’s great [between the Yakuza person and Clint]

WHY DIDN’T THEY BUILD ON THIS [Clint and Natasha’s connection] ???

*laughs when Rhodey suggests killing baby Thanos*

These shots of Clint going through the Quantum Realm looks like something straight out of Andy Park’s concept art and that’s awesome

“Well I [Scott] haven’t [encountered an Infinity Stone] but I don’t even know what the hell you’re all talking about.”  *snorts*

“The Aether, firstly, is not a stone.”  Thank you!

The little glance Nebula gives after Thor mentions the Dark Elves just make me think that somewhere down the road, she has either A) encountered them or B) has encountered other Asgardians besides Thor

“Guys if you pick the right year, there are three stones in New York.”  “Shut the front door.”  *laughs*

Also underrated trio:  Steve, Natasha, and Bruce.  Gimme more.

Wait a minute, in 2012, Doctor Strange wasn’t active yet.  So are they gonna go see- OOOOOOOHHHHHH

[NEW YORK 2012] Oh here we go

*cracks up when Bruce very half-assedly smashes stuff on the street*

“I’m looking for Doctor Strange.”  “You’re about five years too early.”  Wait a minute.

HOW DOES SHE [the Ancient One] KNOW?!?

*giggles at Thor and Rocket sneaking in the background with a bored Loki in focus*

“That’s my [Thor’s] mother.  She dies today.”  I love this scene already.

Also WHY IS THOR- or the Thor films in general- have like the most well written characters in the whole canon?

It’s those movies, Guardians 2, The Winter Soldier, Civil War, aaand.... I can’t think of any more of them. 

Oh yeah and WANDAVISION cause THAT HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK-

Rocket just said he thinks of the Guardians as his family I’m gonna die...

What about their [Natasha and Rhodey’s] friendship?!?  I want more of that!

“Ronan’s obsession... clouds his judgment.”  ...HUH

*Thanos uses his sword to lift up Nebula’s chin*  Aw heck no

“As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s ass.”  *has to take a second before nodding in agreement*

Wait is that Jasper Stillwell?

“Flick me.”  That bit alone could be taken out of context

“We’re in route to Doctor List.”  Who’s Doctor List?  Is that a code name?

“Hail Hydra.”  THE BASTARDS WENT AND DID IT

Please tell me this hand off scene is gonna be the opening for the Loki show.  Please tell me this is gonna happen.

*Loki takes the Tesseract again*  AND HE’S GOOONNNEE!!

LET’S GET TO FREAKING JUNE ALREADY!

*ends up quoting “Yeah, I know, I know” along with Steve*

I’m really glad Tilda Swinton actually came back for this cameo

*keeps slapping my laptop screen when people keep saying Doctor Strange made a mistake when it was an explicit point in Infinity War where he encountered 14 million other AUs to find the best result*

Are you telling me that this whole plan could derail because Nebula accidentally hacked into her own WiFI network?  Are you seriously doing this?

*Thanos and Ebony Maw scan Nebula’s duplicate memory bank and track her down*  Are you freaking kidding me?

...I have 96 minutes left?!?

“The future hasn’t been kind to you [Thor], has it?”  Frigga is underrated

So for these shots with Jane, are they just reusing different shots from Thor 2 or just footage from deleted scenes?

Can we talk about how Frigga is absolutely the best parent Thor has?  Meanwhile her husband ODIN is like “oh yeah by the way you have a secret sister totes magotes i’ll die now byeeee”

*sings along with “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone*

*laughs when we cut to Quill just very badly singing along to his iPod in the distance*

I want a bonus short with just Rhodey and Nebula doing their thing

*Nebula gets her memory taken over by 2014 Thanos*  Nooooooo...

Are the glasses that Tony wears here part of EDITH from “Far From Home” or are they like a prototype?

Also I haven’t seen “Far From Home” yet because Sony hates me

Doctor Zola?!?

*jams out to the music playing when we see Hank Pym’s lab*

“A little girl would be nice.  Less of a chance that she’ll end up exactly like me [Howard Stark].”  *gasps softly*

Oh my God, he’s [Steve] in Peggy’s office

Alan Silvestri is really killing it with this score

JARVIS!!

Wait and that’s the guy from “Agent Carter”!

Ohhh that shot’s [of Thanos’s ship coming out of the clouds] awesome...

*2014 Nebula hands Thanos the Pym particles*  Oh are you kidding me...

The CGI for Red Skull is also awesome

*gasps when Natasha reveals that she never knew her dad’s name when Red Skull told it to her*

*is super bummed out when Natasha sacrifices herself*

Kevin Feige really went and said “so Phases 3 and 4 are gonna make everybody cry” and the writers went “YES”

Wait doesn’t Cap go and return the stones at the end of the movie?  How’s he gonna handle meeting Red Skull on Vormir then?

“It’s like... I [Bruce] was made for this.”  Please someone get Mark Ruffalo his own Hulk movie before he combusts from giving out more spoilers

So Thanos used the Pym particles to time travel then.  Honestly that’s kinda genius

I just noticed that Scott shrank himself right as the explosion hit the windows

I really want someone to just drop one F-bomb somewhere in the MCU and I really hope it’s Clint because he would 100% say it

*starts singing “Hollaback Girl” when Thanos arrives*

Here’s my question;  how did Thanos acquire Nebula then?  With Gamora, it was with the genocide of her people.

“We [Gamora to Nebula] can stop him.”  LET’S GO!

[Thor uses his storm powers to summon both Stormbreaker and Mjolnir] *softly* Ohhhhh that’s badass...

Now I’m just imagining the cast just in the green screen room just hitting Josh Brolin with a bunch of foam weapons and making all the sound effects while poor Josh is just struggling under the weight of the Thanos reference head on his mocap suit

Who does the voice for FRIDAY?

AN:  Irish actress named Kerry Condon

*Steve deems himself worth to wield Mjolnir*  OKKAAYY OKAAYY

Love how Thanos is like “yes, I’m gonna stab you with an AXE”

“In all my years of conquest...”  Steve you suuuucckkk...

Are we getting the Chitauri again?

“On your left.”  *laughs incredulously*  O-ohhh my God...

*Everyone starts coming out of the portals*  Oh my God I’m getting chills

I would have lost my mind in the theater

I HAVE ACTUAL GOOSEBUMPS RUNNING ALL OVER ME.  This is how good this is

WAIT ARE THOSE THE RAVAGER SHIPS ABOVE THEM?!?

“Avengers... assemble.”  Oh my God this is amazing!

M’BAKU!

Also “Endgame” really just said “We are KILLING FOOLS TODAY”

How are they gonna tackle Peter and Gamora’s relationship in Guardians 3?

[Horn plays La Cucaracha] LET’S GO

God I’m gonna turn feral

*has to pause to scream in excitement when Wanda touches down in front of Thanos to fight him*

*puts hands on head*  OHH MY GOOOOODDDDD

They’re literally just playing Keep Away with a teenage boy.  Marvel, everybody.

*Captain Marvel destroys Thanos’s ship*  WELL IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

OK I got mixed feelings about that [the girl power team up scene]

*Thanos unsuccessfully headbutts Carol*  Oh shit!

*Doctor Strange holds up one finger*  Oh my God this is it

Someone definitely tore off when Thanos pushed Tony off

It was in that moment he [Thanos] knew- he effed up

*All of Thanos’s army dissipates*  Byeee...

Is it bad that I’m not crying at Tony’s death?

*gasps when Peter reunites with Ned at school*

Wait the whole time heist takes place within ONE DAY?

“I love you 3000.”  I really hope we see Morgan again somewhere in one of the movies or shows.  Actually a cool way to reincorporate her would be in the Ironheart series whenever they make it

Even Drax is wearing black!

It’s the “We should be getting therapy but we got a TV show instead” trio [Wanda, Bucky, and Sam]

Wait is that guy- was that guy- the little kid from Iron Man 3?

AN:  Yes

So right after this funeral, Wanda’s gonna storm SWORD right?

AN:  This was finished up on 2/26 so probably YES

*Thor crowns Valkyrie the new leader of New Asgard*  I now cannot wait for “Thor Love and Thunder”

Wait Peter’s looking for Gamora!

Still cannot believe that the time travel suits are completely CGI

I know they had a body double for Chris Evans here but I do think it would have been cool if they used the body double’s voice for Old Steve instead of Chris trying to sound old

He [Steve] put the shield in an art portfolio bag...

*says “No, no I don’t think I will” along with Steve*

*silently jams out to “It’s Been a Long, Long Time” playing during the credits*

Wait and that was the song Fury was playing in “Winter Soldier”

Oh they even got the actual signatures!  That’s awesome!

[ronweasleyisourking]

A Response to “Why Harry & Hermione Should Be Together”, a YouTube Video by the Super Carlin Brothers

First, there are some things that I want to get out of the way:

I harbor no hatred towards Jonathon and Ben or any members of the Super Carlin Brother team and this is not meant as a reason for anyone to leave hate comments on their videos or social media. I have been a fan of theirs for several years now and am simply using their video to get my opinions on the matter out there.

I am all for letting people have their own opinions and people shipping whatever they want, with a couple exceptions such as pedophilia and incest, neither of which is the case here. This is not meant to make Harry/Hermione fans feel attacked or excluded. Again, I am just using the reasons stated in defense of Harmione in this video to create a list of reasons of why I, personally, am against them being together. 

Some quotes might be slightly misquoted due to very quick annotations on my part, but I believe the meaning of the quotes stayed the same.

The video starts out with Ben wanting to get a few things out of the way before getting on to his reasons on why Harry and Hermione should be together and those things were: “Hermione is, like, whatever comes, like, one steo above queen.”, Movie Ginny, and horrible Harry/Ginny moments in the movies which honestly instantly put me into fight or flight mode because while he explains that he doesn’t know if the movies are affecting his judgement, I could tell right away that a lot of the reasons were going to boil down to the movies. 

Then he moves on to his reasons which in summary are: Harry and Hermione are really great friends, Harry and Ginny came out of nowhere, Ron and Hermione fight a lot, and he ships Ron and Luna. Below, I will discuss each of these reasons and my thoughts on it. 

Reason #1: “Harry and Hermione are just really good friends who get along and work well together.” 

Sure, they’re great friends, I’ll give you that, but let me show you how they act when Ron isn’t around: 

Deathly Hallows, Chapter 16 Godric's Hollow, pages 311 and 312

Now let’s get to his actual reasoning

“In the first book it seems like that’s what they’re setting you up for anyway.”

Interesting take, I wonder why he thinks this.

“Ron is straight up mean to Hermione all the way up to Halloween.”

Oh, really, an eleven year old was mean to another eleven/twelve year old and then they became friends. How odd. That never happens in real life. (Note the sarcasm.) And I wonder, was Harry friends with her before Halloween? *thinks back on book* Hmm, nope. 

“...Extremely touching moment right before Harry has to go through and face down Quirrel.”

Philosopher’s Stone, Chapter 16 Through the Trapdoor, pages 286 and 287

Listen, if I thought one of my friends was about to die, I don’t need to be their  soulmate to say something nice to them before I may never see them again. Plus, they’re eleven and twelve at this point, and even if Hermione did have a crush on him then, that doesn’t mean they belong together.

“It’s not like the rest of the books are just littered with confessions of admiration. I think it’s just overall the way these two would treat each other, like, it comes with so much more respect, it feels like.”

Friends can respect each other.

“It seems like all the time, she’s throwing her arms around him, like a big hug whenever she sees him.”

I feel like a lot of the hugs are movie scenes but also friends can show physical affection, hugs do not mean someone likes you. 

“She’s like kinda low-key super interested in Harry’s love life.”

This was about Cho and Hermione’s interest in Harry and Cho’s friendship/relationship but I’ve had complete strangers interested in my love life, let alone my friend’s interest, it does not mean any of them liked me. 

I didn’t get a direct quote on these next two, but he goes off on a tangent about Krum and Hermione (which I do not even want to talk about) and ended it with his theory that Hermione only went to the Yule Ball with Krum to make Harry jealous and backs it up with zero proof - unless you count stating that Krum is also a seeker is great evidence, which I do not.

He also brings up the fact that Hermione helps Harry with the summoning charm before the first task in Goblet of Fire but Ron let Harry practice the stunning spell on him repeatedly before the third task so... I’m just saying if we’re going to base ships off people helping Harry with a task, we have better options.

Honestly, a lot of evidence in the video for Hermione and Harry was speculation about Hermione liking Harry and very little on whether Harry liked Hermione, which matters just as much, and we know for a fact that he didn’t:

Deathly Hallows, Chapter 19 The Silver Doe, page 378

Reason # 2: “Harry and Ginny, I guess are, like, fine, but it’s this thing that’s, like, lightly introduced where Ginny has a crush on him in book two and then it sort of evaporates and doesn’t exist at all until it comes on full bore in book six and it kind of feels, like, shoehorned in.”

This reason is given little evidence, other than a theory that Hermione was “eliminating the biggest threat” by telling Ginny to date other guys, which is just weird. 

The build up of Harry and Ginny’s friendship and eventual relationship is subtle but amazing and I really suggest you check out @hillnerd​ ‘s post on it here because they explain the build up better than I ever could.

Reason #3: “Ron and Hermione fight... a lot.”

Disclaimer: A lot of these quotes are less about them fighting and more about Ben trying to discredit Ron and Hermione.

“It’s not that I don’t like Hermione and Ron together, like, I would say they’re a 95 out of 100, it works pretty good, but I’m here to say that Harry and Hermione are a straight up one hundo out of one hundo. Okay, maybe not a one hundo out of one hundo but at least a 96 and when did Hermione ever settle for one point lower than she possible could have on a quiz.”

Relationships are not a quiz that can be graded and Hermione did not settle for Ron, this is just a horrible argument. 

“Hermione and Ron, they don’t exactly always share the same kind of intimate friendship.”

Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 23 Christmas on the Closed Ward, page 503

He specifically uses this book excerpt to back up his point, stating that Hermione’s responses to gifts prove that she likes Harry better than Ron - when in truth, she just likes Harry’s gift better. 

“...Yule Ball though, let’s actually talk about that because I feel like it’s a really great example of Ron not noticing Hermione.” 

Goblet of Fire, Chapter 22 The Unexpected Task, page 400

“He’s only just now realizing that she is someone that he either is or even could be romantically interested in.”

I just want to point out that at this point, Ron is fourteen, and fourteen year olds, at least in my experience, are not the smartest. Yes, he was being a bit of git in this scene, thinking that just because Hermione was a girl and their friend, she should go with one of them, and thinking that it’s impossible she could have gotten a date on her own - but he obviously knew she was a girl. And yeah, maybe he is just realizing that he could be attracted to her, but fourteen isn’t a weird age to begin recognizing attraction. 

Ron and Hermione have a great relationship, and yes, in a lot of the text, they are fighting. But we should not forget that Harry is narrating the books and we don’t get to see the entirity of their relationship. Of course he’s narrating about their fights - that’s the part of their friendship/relationship that effects him.

“Secret” Reason #4: “I think that Ron should have ended up with Luna.”

I can see some of the reasoning for this because there is a little bit of evidence of Luna maybe liking Ron in Order of the Phoenix, but I don’t think we see anything that would suggest Ron liking Luna, which again, is also important. And he gives no reason why he thinks Ron and Luna would have been better suited for each other.

Finally, Ben’s concluding point was 

“And you know what, if I’m reading too much into the books which maybe we do, the movies go out of their way to reinforce the idea.”

This concluding statement is basically my earlier fear coming true, when in the end, all the reasons boiled down to a montage of scene of Harry and Hermione in the movies, which let’s be honest, were basically just Steve Kloves’ Harmione fanfiction.

I’m going to be honest, I watched this video all the way through twice, and I found the reasoning weak and not at all convincing. You can ship whatever you want - even Harry and Hermione - but that doesn’t mean it would work in actual canon. 

[anika-ann]

Little Big Things to Celebrate... with a challenge

I’m gonna start by saying THANK YOU. For every single one of you, whether you interact a lot or only a bit or rarely at all. This is for all of you and for those who aren’t in the 500 too ;) 

So, let’s celebrate the only way I can think of:

Rules:

You don’t have to be following me, but it would be nice if you did. (Come to the dark side. We have fluff and stuff.)

As for now, it’s one prompt per person (but after you post it, you can pick another if you’d like!). Let me read your stuff!

Send me an ask when you pick one (or a DM if you’re on the shier side). You can add character you’ll be writing for if already decided. I’ll try to update this list as often as possible.

When you post, use the tag #challenge500ann in the first 5 tags and tag me in the fic please. If I don’t respond with at least ♥ within two days, please, reach out, the system messed up again. (I’ll be a bit out from 9th to 14th August though, fair warning.)

Feel free to alternate the pronouns/tense/etc in the prompt in case that it would sound… unnatural in your fic otherwise.

Keep it Marvel, please. Movies, tv series, I don’t care. Comics are alright, but I guess I’ll have to do some research. If you truly want a different movie/show characters, DM me please. Crossovers are fine, welcomed actually.

Canon or non-canon ships, reader inserts, pairing with an OC, no pairing at all, platonic relationships – bring it. We don’t discriminate here. AU completely of your choice when picking a prompt? Gimme those too.

Fluff, angst, humour, I take it all. Smut must be properly tagged and with a warning before the text of the fic. (And yes, I’m aware most of the prompts are easier to make fluffy/funny, sue me or surprise me.)

Drabbles, one-shots, first chapter/prologue to a new series... size doesn’t matter O:-) But I’m begging you, if it’s over 500 words, use the keep reading bar (yeah, I know, sometimes it doesn’t even work, but let’s try).

Deadline: 9th September. 

If you need an extension, DM me. We’re all only human and life gets in the way. I just want to make sure to have time to read all your stuff before starting my last(?) year of uni. Bachelor thesis is going to eat a lot of my time.

Prompts below the cut. Dig in!

Prompts  

(it’s scary, but I can hear the characters say it in my head, change it for me!) There’s a source of the prompts above each group that means nothing but me crediting them:

(The Flash)

1. “Am I the only one who watches movies around here?” @randomsevans​

2. “Say something so we know you’re okay!” “Ow.”  @elysianecho with Steve

3. “Rule number one: when a girl says it’s fine, it’s not fine!” (optional follow-up: “Amen!”)  @adorkably 

4. “What is wrong with you two? That’s not friendship.” @scentedsongrebel

(Arrow)

5. “You tell anyone about this, I will kill you.” “…that’s just an expression, right?” @nekoannie-chan  with Steve or Rumlow

6. “As far as plans go, this isn’t a good one.” “This was your plan.” “I didn’t think you’d actually say yes!”  @chris-evans-indian-fanfic with Captain Marvel & Valkyrie

7. “Is that judgement I’m hearing?” “Pride.”

8. “So we’re not doing the what happens in Russia stays in Russia?” “We’re still in Russia.” @buckybarney​

9. “You are such a bitch!” “Takes one to know one, sweetheart!” (feel free to change the insult and/or petname)  @amythedvdhoarder​ with Bucky

(Supergirl & Legends of Tomorrow)

10. “You look like crap.” “Thank you, I saw the mirror this morning.”  

11. “Name/pronoun is/are super hot.” *Silence* “Gay, not blind.”

12. “No offence.” “Offence taken.”

(Chuck)

13. “So in this plan I basically do nothing?” “Yep.” “Let’s do this!”

14. “If my primary objective wasn't to protect you, I'd kill you.” @lilbabycee​ with Bucky

15. “What are you doing?” “Escaping.” “From your own birthday party?” @averyrogers83 with Clint

16. “You actually listened to me?” “I can’t quite believe it myself!” @hufflepuffvs with Steve

17. “This is a part of my cover.” “Well, it doesn’t cover a thing!”

(Supernatural)

18. “I get all tingly when you take control like that.”

19. “’Game of Thrones’ is complicated. Shower sex - that's complicated. *thing* ain't complicated.”

20. “So? Maybe I’m not real, nobody’s perfect.”

(Merlin)

21. “What are we still doing here?!” “You were unconscious!” “Always have an excuse, don’t you?”

22. “This is one of those moments when I tell you something isn't a good idea and you ignore me, isn't it?” @pies-writes-and-more with Steve

23. “I want to say something I’ve never said to you before… thank you.”

24. “I thought you said you had faith in me.” “Whatever gave you that idea?”

25. “I had no idea you were so keen to die for me.” “Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.” @mysterioh​

AU and tropes

A) (Evil) Twin/Mistaken Identity @anjali750

B) Time-travel @sophiria

C) Bodyswap

D) Horror AU 

E) Fairy Tale/Fantasy AU   @queen-kass-the-writer  with Steve

F) Lawyer AU

G) Biker AU @kayteewritessteve with Steve 

H) Bodyguard AU @donutloverxo with Steve

I) Single Parent AU @romaxnogersav​ with Bucky

J) Escort AU

Ball’s in your court now! Have fun! And stay safe!

[amandajoyce118]

Agents Of SHIELD S7E01 “The New Deal” Easter Eggs And References

In the season seven premiere, most of the team ends up in 1931 New York thanks to some time travel shenanigans. We love shenanigans, right? The is the last season premiere ever, and it’s bittersweet, but I’m diving right in.

As always, if you don’t remember this from the last few seasons of me writing up Easter eggs (posts are tagged aos easter eggs if you want to read old ones), this list assumes you have seen the episode. There will be spoilers.

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Again, spoilers. Turn back now if you don’t want them. Okay? Good.

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The Episode Title.

It’s a reference to FDR’s political work. I mean, Coulson even references it and says the episode title in the show. I kind of love when show’s do that? This show didn’t used to, but they did it a lot more the last two seasons, so maybe it’s a thing now.

The Title Card.

I feel like it’s unfair to call this an Easter egg, but if they didn’t put a 1931 timestamp on the top of the episode, the title card could have told you what era the team was in. Whoever was in charge of designing it did a great job making it look like a classic film title card.

Faceless People.

Okay, so the chronocoms erase the faces of the people they wish to resemble. This isn’t really a thing in the comics, but there is a character called “Faceless One.” He happens to be an alien who wants to conquer Earth as well, but is basically a big yellow ball with legs, so I doubt there’s any connection other than the cool effect.

Coulson’s Data Flood.

Okay, we get that literally everything Coulson says when he’s not talking to Daisy, Mack, and Jemma are quotes from previous seasons, right? Good. He even downloads the information on Ghost Rider, his own death, last season, etc.

Deke Has A Workstation.

Okay, not an Easter egg, but I think we need to take a moment and appreciate that Jemma built Deke a workstation and Fitz left him the tool we saw way back in season five. Why? Because Deke never feels like he belongs and he wants so badly to be close to his family, and now, we see that they thought of him while upgrading their ship. He has a place. And it’s right next to Jemma.

Elena Is Quarantined.

That’s because she was infected by the shrike in season six, not because the writers are psychic and knew there would be a massive epidemic going on when the show premiered. (Sorry, typed that before I realized Jemma was going to actually say it in show, so it’s staying in.)

Gemini And Koenig.

Gemini is actually a pretty popular name/codename in Marvel Comics, so it being used as, supposedly, the code name for the person in charge of the speakeasy made me laugh. It’s much more likely here that the bartender didn’t react wrong to the use of the word, that it’s used to weed out pretenders, hence the double barrel shotgun he affectionately calls the twins. I also like that it’s a tease for a Koenig appearing since we initially thought the Koenig siblings were twins and it turns out there are too many for us to count at this point (not really, I’m exaggerating, but great that grandpa or great-grandpa Koenig looks exactly like the modern day Koenigs. I mean, come on, they’re clones or something, right?).

“It’s not exactly your first time being separated by space and time.”

Okay, look, if you have to keep inserting meta humor into a show about how often you separate your main couple, maybe you should stop separating your main couple. (Yes, I know, Iain de Caestecker had another job he was working on in seasons six and seven, but seriously, it’s not funny. Your audience is tired of it.) I mean, to be frank, Fitz is one of my favorite characters in the show, but I didn’t really miss him in this episode? That might sound bad, but I don’t think they needed to comment on him being gone so much considering Jemma told them at the end of season six she didn’t  - and couldn’t - know where he was.

Wilfred “Freddie” Malick.

Daisy explains who he is, but look, it’s the father of Gideon Malick, the same Gideon who became the leader of Hydra after a broken SHIELD (and the Avengers) decided to squash all of its heads, the same guy who got Ward interested in visiting an alien planet where he ended up as Hive. He’s, like, ancient school Hydra, not just old school Hydra. What doesn’t make sense here is that they’re saying the SSR forms in response to Hydra. Technically, the SSR forms, and then they learn about Hydra, unless I’m misremembering, which is totally possible.

The Substance.

So, I gotta wonder… what’s in the test tubes? The earliest we go in the MCU is Captain America, which is still a whole decade after the events of this episode. Prior to that, Hydra experimentation did create the Red Skull, but… still not sure what’s in the tubes. I don’t really have a frame of reference from the comics to speculate either since Hydra was into literally anything and everything. 

New York.

Okay, so I’m curious if anyone knows where they filmed their 1931 New York scenes. I have questions. Because they use the same couple of blocks for all their outside scenes, which makes me think it’s a studio backlot (which would definitely help keep the script quiet) and they’re going to use a different part of the lot next week. A friend asked me if I thought it was the same as the one used for Captain America when he’s in Brooklyn in his first movie. Cap’s first movie’s Brooklyn scenes were filmed on a Universal Studios lot where they had New York building facades and street signs. If you’ve been to the theme park, you basically know what it looks like without the 30s/40s dressing. I think it’s the same lot, and I say this because I actually kept thinking that they used the set pieces Disney used for The Newsies movie in 1992 while watching the episode. Do you know where that was filmed? On the Universal Studios backlot’s New York street set up right after it was renovated in 1991. Huh.

So, Mark Kolpack basically answered this on twitter when discussing VFX. They filmed their New York street scenes on the Warner Bros. backlot, not the Universal one, so I guess the people in charge of designing the set pieces did a great job because they look pretty much the same.

This Picture.

This boxing poster was shared by Jed Whedon on instagram. Honestly, I didn’t spot it in the episode, but that could just be because I have a small television screen and I can’t read the signs unless I pause on a computer and zoom. I have bad eyes, guys. Sorry. Usually signage is something I spot on a second or third watch, but according to Whedon, this is set dressing in the episode somewhere. Probably on the street the characters walk down multiple times. 

Let’s break down the names. Kitson is George Kitson, a story editor, writer, and production assistant on the show. He wrote this episode, and, actually, next week’s episode. The planet Kitson was also named for him. Titley is Craig Titley. He’s a producer and writer for the show, probably best known for writing “4,722 Hours” at this point. Brown is such a common name, but I’m going to guess it’s for Garry Brown who has directed a handful of episodes and is also a producer on the show. Bell is, I’m thinking, Jeffrey Bell, one of the producers and writers on the show. Tancharoen is for Maurissa Tancharoen, one of the showrunners, or you know, maybe her brother, who has directed several episodes (including this one!), or her father, who is in charge of transportation to sets. Gierhart is, I’m assuming, Billy Gierhart, who has directed a lot of episodes of the show, though I don’t think he’s directed any since 2017. (If you look at the matchups, it ends up being writer vs writer, producer vs producer, director vs director when you assume the Tancharoen is Kevin.) It says there are four main events though, and only three are listed?

Not sure if the October 15 date is intentional, but if it is, that’s the day “Eye Spy” aired in season one? Steve Roger’s mother dies on October 15, but in 1936. Not sure if that’s even canon since it’s in a promotional comic, not in anything on screen.

I’m sure there are more, and if you guys spot them and tell me, I’ll add them in. If I notice any on a rewatch, I’ll add them in as well. Who’s looking forward to the time traveling this season?

[kajaono]

Some more well sorted thoughts on the Cherik ending.

The Cherik ending was not groundbreaking or a big step for the LGBTQ community, especially when you compare it with what is allready possible in todays TV shows and also Hollywood movies. But from the “original” white gay male ships they were the only one who got their happy end/went canon (not canon CANON but canon enough for me). Let me make a short list:

Sherlock: Especially season 4 was a queerbaiting mess (who is sherlock in love with? Ha, with nobody!). And it also let John beat up Sherlock, it was implied that John moved out of 221B. John cheated on his wife with another woman because he has this... sexual desire for women... i guess? And Sherlock still had contact to Irene because he is a man and sometimes he needs that female contact. Basiclly #nohomo

Stucky: Not only was Stucky the closest male friendship this movies had it also had a lot of queercoded energy. And the fans created a lot of pressure with #giveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend that also pointed out bad the MCU is when it comes to LGBTQ representation. But all this ended in Stucky being written apart, sharing one sentence with eachother, one hug and then Steve ran away with a woman he had burried a long time ago, leaving a deeply traumatized Bucky behind

Sterek: I never watched that show but i know that fans actually had high hoped for that ship. But it also turned out to be a queerbaiting mess, with the “Sterek forever” promo video. And this whole Stiles scene: “Do you like girls, do you like boys?” What ended with one of the actors leaving the show, both having female love interests till the end

Destiel: I mean we still have one season to go and maybe the ending will surprise all of us. But right now it is only a queerbaiting mess (i love you. I love all of you #nohomo). With telling everybody how much Destiel loves eachother but never showing the intention to show it on the big screen. Although they are allready 10 seasons in and have a lot more freedom then a big hollywood superhero movie when it comes to LGBTQ representation

Queliot: They actually do not deserve to be on that list because both Eliot and Quentin are both confirmed queer. But i think this show was a really recent example how quickly one of the characters can be killed of after three seasons of queerbaiting

And then there is Cherik. The couple that was constantly fighting. That constantly got Moira pushed in, or a woman for Erik to prove how #nohomo they are. But the last movie ignored all this and said: Fuck it! They are queercoded. Yeah, we admit it. And we maybe can not show a love confession, hand holding, a kiss or what ever, but we can show them in a little café in Paris, the city of love, smiling at eachother like love sick idioits, asking eachother to move in together and plaiyng chess like they allways did and allways will be.” It is little, it is not groundbreaking. BUt it showed that when you have queercoded characters you do not need to behave like a total dickhead. You can just admit it and give them there happy end. Because it is no big deal to let two men spend their whole life together in 2019. And this is why i am so fascinated by that ending. Because at least one movie understood that. And it was the movie i had the lowest hopes for.