#still don’t rly know what I’m doing but I’ll get there lmao

[xxrat--punkxx]

Repair day

[awek-s-archived]

literally sickens me that ppls criticisms of me even irl is that im not passive enough or that im too ill or too poor or whatever like .. do you really hate me soo much for no reason that you have to invent the most flimsy surface-level frankly concerning and invalid reasons you can for why i don’t deserve basic respect

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Then & Now (M, cold)

Hiii, hope you like A LOT of hurt followed by 2-3 sentences of comfort lmao. This is Greyson fic - Grey is sick on a day he and Reed are supposed to have a date, and he's sure Reed is going to be angry with him because Trauma(TM). It's told in a flashback sort of format which I really enjoyed because I love writing blurbs of colds at different times in life lol. I hope you guys like it, please let me know what ya think, good, bad, or otherwise :)

CW: Male snz, cold, pneumonia mention, coughing, contagion mention, lots and lots of whump lmao. A little over 4K words under the cut.

Then & Now

Now

“Morning, Chef.”

“Huh-! HhITSZHH-ue!”

Elijah turned towards Greyson, who was doubled over into his hoodie sleeve, and gave him a sympathetic grimace. “Cooks finally pulled you under, hmm?”

“Ugh, like way fuckin’ under,” Greyson muttered, rubbing his eye and sucking in through his nose. “I feel like ass.”

“Sorry, dude,” Elijah said, tossing his counterpart a box of tissues. “Sucks.”

Greyson caught the box and pulled out a few just in time. “HITSZHZH-uhh!” This one, he managed to catch in the handful of tissues. He wiped his nose and shrugged. “Yeah,” he said, tossing the used tissues. “Mbostly because I was supposed to have a date tonight.”

Elijah smirked at his friend, who was pushing past the GM into their shared office. The two of them sat in unison. “Do you guys still call them dates? You’ve been official for, like, six months.”

“It’s our six-month anniversary,” Greyson said, his voice flattened by congestion. “We were going to do EMP.”

“Awww, now I’m depressed,” Elijah said. “Also, why didn’t you tell me earlier you were going to Eleven Madison? I still know people there.”

“So does Reed,” Greyson said, massaging his temple. “That’s why we were goigg. Fuck, mby fuckin’ head is pounding. Do we have any -?”

Elijah placed the ibuprofen in front of the chef before he could ask, along with a bottle of cough syrup and a decongestant. “You know we have it all,” he said, pushing an old cup of water across the desk for Greyson to swallow his arsenal of pills. “And fair enough. Well that fuckin’ sucks, dude, I’m sorry. Hey, at least you can leave early, right? Matt’s closing?”

“Yeah,” Greyson said, unwrapping a cough drop and popping it in his mouth. “I’ll head out once the rush is over. I still have to text Reee – hh...hhNTSHH-ue! HGTSHH-uhh!” Greyson doubled over, sneezed into his arm, and groaned. “I’mb gonna kill the guys when they get in,” he said, mostly to himself.

“Don’t do that,” Elijah said, placing a hand on Greyson’s shoulder on his way out of the office. “Then you’ll have to stay all night.”

Greyson huffed out a laugh and pulled out his phone. He clicked on his conversation with Reed, sighing. He did not want to have this conversation.

Greyson

9:31AM

hey babe. gonna have to cancel tonight, the cooks infected me w their plague :( im rly sorry.

The chef set his phone on the desk, prepared to either be ghosted or gaslit – two of Collin’s favorite pastimes whenever Greyson had had to cancel their plans during their relationship – and was shocked when the phone buzzed with a text almost immediately. He was almost afraid to look at his boyfriend’s response.

Reed

9:32AM

Oh, baby don’t be sorry!! what time are you off? I’ll pick you up and take you home :) we can do a sick day little date night instead!

Greyson stared at the phone, stunned. He couldn’t help it; he read the message again, then out loud said, “What the fuck?”

Then – Ten Years Ago

“Chef?”

The Executive Chef looked up from his paperwork at Greyson and sighed. “What is it, Abbott?”

“I, um – hh! HTSHH-uh! HGXTSH-ue! Snf. Umb, I just wanted to see if it was okay if I… left a little early today?” Greyson asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His chef raised his eyebrows and put his clipboard down. Oh, no, Greyson thought.

“Leave...early? And leave your clean up and prep to whom, exactly? Me?” The Executive Chef huffed out a laugh. “That’s rich, Abbott. Why the fuck would you need to leave early?”

“I…” Greyson started, but his voice gave out on the single syllable. He attempted to clear his throat. “I just… I really feel like shit? I was hoping I could, like… sleep it off, I guess. I mbean, I wouldn’t want to get anyone else sigck.” Greyson felt a cough bubbling to the surface; he tried to quell it, to no avail. The younger man collapsed into a coughing fit that felt like it lasted a lifetime.

The Chef remained unmoved. “My guys,” he said, placing a hand on his chest as Greyson attempted to compose himself, “don’t get sick, Abbott. And if they do, I don’t fucking hear about it. Understand? Because I really don’t give a shit. If you’re here, you’re here. If you decide to leave early,” he shrugged, uncaring, “then you leave for good. And Abbott, if you try to get a job after walking out of my kitchen, I promise you I will make it impossible. I know you’ve only been here a couple months, but here’s what you need to learn: put your head down and do your fucking job, and you can work anywhere in the world after this. Be a whiny piece of shit who tries to walk out on his shift, and you’ll be working at McDonald’s for the rest of you life. Got it?”

Greyson, too shocked to rebut, just bobbed his head up and down.

“Let me hear you say it,” the Chef said. Greyson cleared his throat.

“Yes, Chef,” he said. The Chef nodded.

“Now get the fuck out of my office.”

Now

“Elijah. Look at this text.”

The GM looked up slowly from the iPad where he was going over reservations for the evening. “...Why?” he asked, taking the phone from Greyson’s hand.

“Just look. Tell mbe that’s ndot weird,” Greyson said, crossing his arms over his chest. Elijah looked down, confused, and read the text. He pinched his eyebrows together just a little, and read it again. “See? Isn’t that weird?”

“Greyson…” Elijah said, handing the phone back. “That’s not weird.”

“Seriously?” Greyson asked, reading the text yet again. “It’s bizarre. He’s ndot even a little mad? C’mon. That’s weird.”

“He’s being sweet,” Elijah explained, slowly, as though he were talking to a toddler. “Did you want him to be mad? Because that’s bizarre.”

“Ndo I don’t want him to be mad. I jus – HTSZHH-ue! HRRSHH!” Greyson wrenched to the side to sneeze, which sent him into a fit of hacking coughs. “I just figured he’d want to, like, yell at mbe or something. For canceling,” Greyson finished, his voice strained against another cough. Elijah didn’t respond, not at first, and instead pressed a hand onto the chef’s forehead.

“I think you’re sicker than we thought, because you’re acting fucking delusional,” he said as Greyson slapped his hand away. “Greyson, normal people don’t yell at each other for getting sick, or having to cancel a plan. That’s, like, really twisted.”

Greyson rolled his eyes. “It’s ndot twisted, Lij you fuckin’ drama queen,” he said, then held up a finger. “Onesec – hh! Hh...hnn.” Greyson sniffled, a let out a little irritated cough. “Lost it.”

“Go back to the kitchen,” Elijah said, pointing towards the swinging doors. “Sit down. Rest. Let your medicine kick in. I don’t want people seeing this -” he gestured to Greyson, as if to allude to his entire being – “when they walk past the restaurant. Alright? Text your boyfriend something nice. Not something unhinged.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Greyson muttered, turning toward the kitchen, his phone still open to the conversation with Reed. He turned towards Elijah again before pushing through the kitchen doors. “I still say that this is the unhinged thing.”

“Go to therapy, Greyson,” Elijah said, not looking up from the iPad. Greyson rolled his eyes, pushed into the kitchen, and regarded his phone once again.

Greyson

10:07AM

thanks, babe. it’s ok, I can take care of myself. it wont be a long day, ill just grab some nyquil omw home and sleep it off. ill reschedule our rezo too, don’t worry about that. im really sorry again for canceling. if I could taste the food id still go lol.

Figuring that sounded at least relatively normal, Greyson hit send. He sat down at his desk once again and placed his head in his hands. No way he’s not pissed, Greyson thought, and he really believed it. In all his years of dating, he’d never met anyone who would respond that way; they’d at least have a snippy remark about the last-minute nature of the cancellation.

Greyson’s phone pinged once again, and he couldn’t help but grab it right away to assess the damage.

Reed

10:08AM

honey, please don’t apologize, seriously. youre sick, it happens, its no biggie :) I already moved the reservation to next week but if we need to ill move it again. james at emp said to tell you feel better btw.

Greyson blinked, dumbstruck. He started typing without thinking.

Greyson

10:10AM

you REALLY arent mad? seriously?

Reed

10:10AM

im really not mad. who gets mad at someone for being sick…? is someone at work mad at you? am I supposed to be mad..? lol

Greyson

10:11AM

I mean its a last minute cancellation. id understand if u were mad.

Reed

10:11AM

welllll….im not. is that ok? haha

Reed

10:15AM

grey…? you believe me, right?

Reed

10:21AM

greyson..?

Then – Seven Years Ago

He was moving through molasses.

Greyson placed a sluggish hand to his own forehead – you can’t check yourself for a fever, dumbass – and blinked painfully. He’d made it to work, he’d made it through the day, and he’d made it back home, against all odds. Now, he was stuck on his couch, unable to even crawl to the bathroom for a thermometer.

It had all compounded on him, was his guess. The endless fourteen hour days for the better part of two years at his thankless sous chef job. The shitty Chicago-suburbs apartment with no heat, where he froze for the few hours a week he slept. The near-constant drinking. Sure, he was only twenty-five, but what was it they said about this industry? It ages you in dog years. Yeah, that was it.

“Hh-! Hh...ITSZHH-ue! HTSHHH-ue!” Greyson sneezed helplessly into the blanket he’d wrapped around himself, and groaned. This was not what he’d imagined when he moved here from Minnesota. He’d thought it would be glamorous, working as a sous chef at a high-end hotel in a big city. He thought he’d have friends, or a girlfriend, or something. Instead, he was trapped on his couch, benched by a sinus infection and seasonal depression that seemed to last the whole year round. Fuck this, Greyson thought. He couldn’t get off the couch, but he could reach his phone; Greyson pulled up Indeed and changed his search parameters.

Actively searching for work. Location: Any.

Now

“Um… Chef? What’s, uh… what’s going on?”

Greyson paused for a moment, a crate of spoiled food held on his shoulder. He turned towards Matt, keen to answer, but instead held the crate tighter and wrenched to the side. “HRTTSHH-uh!”

“Bless you,” Matt said, an automatic reaction. Greyson nodded, turned towards the dumpster, and dumped the food in before beginning the cycle anew: pick up crate. Turn to sneeze. Dump old food. Matt wasn’t sure if he should help his boss, or go inside for backup.

He chose the former, picking a crate filled to the brim with rotten tomatoes off the ground and hoisting it into the trash. “You gonna tell me what’s up?” he asked as the two of them continued gathering and tossing.

Greyson sighed, pulled a hand down his face, and shook his head. “I thingk Reed and I are over,” he said, voice soft and throaty. Matt’s eyebrows shot up.

“What? Seriously? What did you do?” Matt asked, prompting a stuffy laugh from his boss.

“I just don’t thingk it’s going to work,” Greyson said, shrugging. “I… I don’t want to, like, play gambes. I can’t do that again, ndot after Collin.”

“Chef,” Matt said as he gathered and tossed the last milk crate, “what are you talking about? Reed is, like, the most straight-shooting guy I’ve ever met. How is he playing games?”

Greyson, left without anything to occupy his hands, just shrugged and pulled out his phone. He handed it to Matt without explanation, and the sous quickly read through the text conversation Greyson and Reed had going. Matt furrowed his brow.

“I don’t get it,” he said, handing the phone back. “He wants to take care of you, what’s the problem with that?”

“He doesn’t want to take care of me, he wants to have the upper hand,” Greyson explained, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and sitting on the step just outside the back door. “Want one?”

“Sure,” Matt said, sitting beside his boss. “I mean, you shouldn’t be smoking if you’re -”

“HTSHH! Hh-! ITZSHH-ue!” Greyson turned into his elbow, taking a long moment to gather himself before handing Matt his cigarette.

“-sick,” Matt finished. The older man shrugged, and Matt plucked the lighter out of Greyson’s hand to light both of them up, not daring to push his boss any closer to the edge. For a moment, they smoked in silence, only Greyson’s sniffles and coughs interrupting the quiet.

“Boss,” Matt said, finally, “I think you need to talk to Reed.”

“I did,” Greyson said, stubbing out his cigarette. “You saw.”

“No, I mean actually talk to him,” Matt said. The two of them stood, looking at each other – a face-off without the malice. Matt continued. “Not ignore his texts and clean out the walk-in.”

Greyson scoffed. “Matt, just because you have sombe fairy-tale love story doesn’t mbean everyone else does, too. Okay? If it’s over between me and Reed, it’s fine. I’mb better off alone, anywaa – hh! Hh… Hhhii-!” Greyson stood with his elbow poised at his face, stuck in pre-sneeze agony for what seemed like an eternity. While he was incapacitated, Matt took his phone and typed out a message that his boss couldn’t see. Finally, Greyson lowered his arm and sucked in, fruitlessly, through his nose. “The fugck are you doigg?” he asked, snatching his phone back from his sous.

“If you’re not going to talk to Reed,” Matt shrugged, unapologetic, “I will.”

Greyson looked down at his phone, which buzzed twice in his hand. Reed’s face popped up on the screen. Call from: reed <3

Then – Three Years Ago

“HTSHH! Huh! ETZSHH-ue! HRTTSHH-ue!”

“Bless, bless, bless you. Allergies?” Collin asked, not looking up from his phone. Greyson sniffled in vain, and coughed painfully.

“Ndot exactly,” he croaked from the doorway to Collin’s living room. “Baby, do you thingk you could drive mbe to urdent care, actually?”

Collin looked up and slowly raised an eyebrow. “For what?” he asked, obviously annoyed. Greyson swallowed as best he could and placed a hand on his throat.

“I thingk… I mbight have strep. Or bronchitis, or sombething. I, uh… I’ve had a fever for like. A week.” Greyson had to stop to close his eyes and grab onto the door frame, a sordid attempt to keep from hitting the floor like a rotten sack of potatoes. Collin rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a drama queen. You seemed fine when you came over last night.”

“You were asleep whend I came over,” Greyson said, his eyes still closed. “Did you ndot notice that I haven’t been over in like five days?”

Collin shrugged. “I mean, yeah, but I figured you were busy with work. You’re always busy with work,” he said, the venom in his voice making clear that he wanted to fight.

Greyson, physically incapable of fighting at that moment, just slid slowly to the ground and nodded. “Yeah. You’re right,” he said. “Ndow I’m paying the price. Please, baby. Can you please just take me? I… I really don’t feel well.”

It was pathetic. He knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself; he was fairly sure he was moments from passing out. Collin turned and made himself comfier on the couch.

“I’ll call you an uber,” he said, pressing some buttons on his phone. “You barely make time for me, and now you’re asking me to be your chauffeur? Please, Greyson.” He showed his ailing boyfriend the phone. “He’ll be out front in five minutes. Better make your way down.”

“Okay,” Greyson said, pulling himself slowly to his feet. “Thangk you.”

Collin didn’t say a word as Greyson let himself out of the apartment. He made it downstairs, and into the uber, and into the waiting room at urgent care. He made it out by himself, too, with a laundry list of prognoses – strep, sinus infection, walking pneumonia – and a handful of prescriptions. When he texted Collin later to fill him in, his boyfriend didn’t text back.

Greyson fell asleep on his shower floor and awoke to freezing water pounding on him, and a courier pounding on his door. When he toweled off and answered it, chicken soup from the local bodega and a note that read feel better -c sat at his feet. Greyson breathed a sigh of relief; at least he had been forgiven.

Now

Reed had dated plenty of men is his thirty-five years of life, and had found that there were two general categories when it came to sick men: there was the Baby, and there was the Don’t Look at Me.

Greyson though, an enigma since the moment they met, seemed to fall into a third category, a category that was, to Reed, yet undiscovered: the You Hate Me.

Reed was good with the first two categories; the Don’t Look at Me, you left medicine outside their room and texted them funny memes. The Baby, you laid in bed with them and spoon-fed them soup. Easy. Understandable. Truthfully, this was one of his favorite things about men: they were easy to crack. He figured Greyson would likely fall into the Baby category, which was fine by him – there was nothing he’d like more than to look after an ailing Greyson, to be honest. This third category he seemed to embody, though, was not something Reed knew what to do with.

“He didn’t answer when I called him,” Reed said into the phone receiver. “I just want to know what’s going on, I mean, did I say something wrong?”

On the other end of the line, Elijah sighed. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is just… it’s just Greyson being Greyson.”

Reed wasn’t about to take this lying down. “Hey, are you guys super busy tonight? I mean, I don’t want to be that boyfriend, but, like, can I come get him? We really need to talk, and if what Matt said is true he probably shouldn’t be, like, working anyway, right?”

While Elijah paused, Reed pulled the phone away from his ear and once again re-read the text Matt had sent from Greyson’s phone: hey reed, it’s matt. grey is sick as hell, so DO NOT take any of the crazy weird shit he says seriously, k? his temperature needs to lower by like 5 degrees before you do this, but u guys need to actually talk. he’s being stupid.

“Please,” Reed heard Elijah’s tinny voice on the other end and put the phone back to his ear. “Please, come and collect him. I’m begging.”

Reed stood from the couch and grabbed his keys. “Give me twenty minutes. I’m on my way.”

Then – Two Years Ago

“Heyyy, baby, cand I buy you a dringk?”

The girl leaned back, her face marked by disgust. “No, thanks. Save your money and get yourself some NyQuil,” she said, disappearing into the crowd. Greyson huffed out a sigh and coughed into his hand – a long, crackling sound that made the other bar patrons inch their chairs away.

“She’s right, you know,” the bartender – Skip, Greyson had learned his name was a few weeks back when he had started coming in every night – said, filling Greyson’s shot glass yet again. “You need to go home.”

“And yet you pour mbe another drink,” Greyson said, knocking back the shot. “The duality of mban. NGTXSH! HTSHH! Huh-! HRRSHH-ue!” Greyson covered his mouth lazily with one hand, wiped it on his pants, hand held the glass up to indicate ‘another’.

“Bless you,” Skip said, not pouring the shot. “Greyson, seriously: go home. You sound fucking awful.”

“Are you cutting mbe off?” Greyson asked, his rheumy eyes meeting Skip’s over the bartop. “Because unless you are, I’mb staying.” He coughed again, into his elbow; the cough was quickly becoming a problem. He’d had a cold two weeks ago; the symptoms had been mild, but the cough had hung around. When he caught whatever-the-fuck this was two days ago, the cough had turned from an annoyance to a pressing issue; he should go home. He should go to the doctor, he should take a day off, he should, he should, he should.

But he wouldn’t. He would stay, and he would drink until he was kicked out, then he’d pass out on the train and not make it home to sleep. He’d go to work at seven AM and stay until midnight and do it all again.

“I’m not kicking you out,” Skip sighed. “I’m just saying… you should take care of yourself.”

Greyson blinked slowly. He could feel his lungs, heavy with fluid, gearing up to cough again; his head, pounding in spite or because of the alcohol; his heart crushed into a million, Collin-sized pieces. Take care of yourself. It felt impossible, when you’d never been shown how.

“This is mbe taking care of myself,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll have another.”

Now

Greyson rested his head on a case of lettuce in the corner of the walk-in. He knew he should be continuing his madness of cleaning, but he’d accidentally sat down on his fifth trip into the refrigerator, and now he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get up again.

Fucking Reed, Greyson thought as he allowed the cold salad box to sate the fever he had burning in his brain. Why can’t he just be up front with me? If you’re mad just say it, don’t fucking torture me.

Perhaps deep down, he knew he was being ridiculous; Matt and Elijah were most likely correct. The simplest answer – that Reed truly was just a good guy – was probably the right one. But he just couldn’t get out of his mind all the times he’d reached out, needed help and asked for it, and been shot down. He certainly couldn’t allow himself to believe that the person he was dating was truly good; he knew he’d never deserve that.

“Greyson?”

Speaking of Reed, that sounded a lot like him – was Greyson hearing things? Had he, in his fever-addled state, conjured a hallucination of his boyfriend to have a fight with? Bizarre, Grey, he thought to himself. That’s really fucking bizarre.

���Grey? Elijah said you were in here but I don’t – oh!”

Either this was a really crazy hallucination, or that really was Reed standing over him, in the walk-in. Greyson blinked hard, then blinked again, and suddenly Reed was on the ground next to him.

“Babe...it’s really cold in here. Do you think we can, um, leave?”

Greyson furrowed his eyebrows together. “Leave… and go where?” he asked, his voice cracking. “I have to… work. What are you doigg heeee...HRTSHH-ue! Huh -! HTSHH! NTSHH! IGXTSH!” Greyson attempted to stifle over and over, until Reed gently took his hand and pulled it away from his face.

“That has to hurt,” Reed said, his voice quiet and calm. “You can just… sneeze, you know. Like, regular.”

“Tryigg ndot to get you,” Greyson croaked, his eyes glazing over once again. “Youbettermov – HRRETSZCHH-ue! ITSZZHH-ue! Fuck – NGTSHHZ-ue!” Greyson sneezed into his lap, then coughed until his lungs felt sore. Reed didn’t move; he came closer and rubbed Greyson’s back.

“Bless you, baby,” Reed said, eventually.

“Thangks. Sorry,” Greyson murmured, pushing his hair out of his face and turning to look at Reed. “Why are you here?” he asked, levity out the window.

Reed let out a little laugh. “Umm, why do you think?” he asked. “You’ve been ignoring me since this morning. I got worried, since Matt said you were super sick – no lie detected, by the way, you sound truly awful –”

“Sorry,” Greyson said again, wiping under his nose. “I kndow, it’s gross.”

“Please, Grey,” Reed said, taking both sides of his boyfriend’s face in his hands and looking him in the eye. “Please. Stop apologizing. It’s okay to be sick. I don’t understand why you think I’m angry at you. I’m not.”

Greyson swallowed, painfully, and gave a little nod. “Okay,” he said, finally.

“Okay,” Reed repeated. “Anyway. I called Elijah. He said to come and collect you.”

At this, Greyson couldn’t help but cough out a laugh. “Collect mbe?” he asked. Reed smiled a little.

“Yeah,” he said. “His words, not mine.”

They both laughed, softly at first, then ramping up to near-hysteria. They only stopped when Greyson started coughing again and couldn’t seem to stop.

“Let’s go get you some water,” Reed said, helping his boyfriend to his shaky feet. Greyson allowed himself to be pulled out of the walk-in, and given a bottle of water that was sitting on his prep station. Greyson drank until the fit subsided, then regarded Reed once again.

“So… you really aren’t mbad?” he asked, rubbing his goosebumped arms up and down. Reed shook his head and shrugged off his windbreaker. He draped it over Greyson’s shoulders.

“I’m really not mad,” he insisted. Greyson nodded, seemingly satiated. Reed sighed through his nose and slipped his arms around the chef.

“Life’s done a number on you, huh?” he asked, quietly enough that it could’ve just been to himself. Greyson huffed out a sad little laugh.

“Like you wouldn’t believe, baby,” he murmured, pressing his hot head into Reed’s hair. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

[talonflamee]

POV: Volo character analysis but you’re only 6 hours into PLA

making good progress in pokemon legends!!! just defeated kleavor (what the HELL is kleavor btw, i’ve never seen that thing before in my life) and i’m having SO much more fun with it than before! rly glad about that cuz it was just sitting & collecting metaphorical dust lmao. i still have my qualms, but i definitely see the appeal now!

i’d like to talk a little about Volo. well, as much as i can from my current point in the game.

full disclaimer, i haven’t even gotten close to beating PLA and i won’t for probably another 40 hours, but i do know what ultimately happens with Volo. my thoughts here could honestly be totally incomprehensible or may change as i continue playing. but i just think he’s neat :)

so i don’t think Volo is like…... evil? don’t get me wrong, he absolutely fucked up and there are no excuses for what he does. but i see a lot of people in the fandom make him out to be this irredeemable horrible awful murderous twisted cycle path and i just. don’t agree with that.

i think people prioritize vilifying him solely to further angst with a certain pair of twins rather than focusing on the nuance that’s embedded into his character. i don’t want to skrunkli-fy him either, but i think it’s important to recognize that he’s kinda just Some Guy. he’s not a cult-leader, he’s not a mob boss, he doesn’t have people who follow or look up to him much (as far as i know); he’s just some dude who works in retail, and he has realistic, human flaws that result in self-destructive behavior that ultimately harms everyone around him. he strikes me as someone with a boatload of (likely religious) trauma and a desperate, insatiable desire to comprehend some kind of higher being. i hope to expand on this particular train of thought later

this brings me to one of my favorite narratives in pokemon. he has Three!!! pokemon that evolve through high friendship. compared to ghetsis, with a hydreigon that was forced to evolve before level 64, holds a life orb, and absolutely obliterates with frustration with the highest amount of damage possible—it absolutely hates ghetsis. but togekiss, lucario, and roserade can only be obtained when they adore their trainers, this cannot be forced.

and, interestingly, this is lucario’s pokedex entry in shield

Volo also has a genuine interest in archeology and history and he wants to share it with people! this guy can infodump like a champ, i really respect that !

so my opinion can certainly change, but these are a few reasons why i don’t think he’s irredeemable. i don’t like how complex characters are always reduced to all or nothing values in fandom spaces. there’s so much more to these characters than 100% evil or 100% good.

this is not helped by the fact that PLA just. doesn’t seem finished? which is completely understandable considering the amount of crunch these artists and writers had to deal with. but it’s still unfinished. most characters don’t have closure or even any development at all. i’m hoping on dlc at some point but. augh

soooo yea das it lol. i hope to write some actual characters studies and analyses for this guy the more i play!! this was just to get my thoughts down, i’ll probably revisit and add to it down the line!

[jack-kellys]

i said i’d post more notes so here are some MORE uk notes, organized enough for u to skip to whichever part u wanna read first. main hits in order are:

1. delanceys as a whole actually

2. jack and physicality (bodily and visually)

3. davey and leaders

4. ensemble notes at the end. here we go!

also all my other analyses so far r linked at the bottom <3 go look

~the delancey brothers!~

so help me i love these guys. i hate them so much and i rly don’t think they’ve been this evil before, like i think. they were more of a cartoonish school bully kind of threat.. but like. nah dude. these are strikebreakers. and they act like it.

they are both taller than essentially all of the newsies except davey. which idt has been true in the past but is significant based on the fact that jack kelly is usually cast always under 5’10 i THINK.. to show he’s still a kid. these delanceys just look bigger, and are older. they don’t interact as much with anyone wearing knickers instead of full-length pants. except.

when each newsie goes up to grab their papers, oscar does a different mean thing to LITERALLY EACH ONE OF THEM. he’ll drop them, or fake a kid out (his fake out w/ buttons has made me jump each time i’ve sat close enough in woodside LMAO he nearly hits him!!), or hold the papers away from them, or push them into their chest. or just give them a sneer. like he is just awful LMFAO

another thing is that they smile very easily when they are doing horrible things. it’s so fucking cool HAHAH but ok lemme go chronologically i’ll speak on dis later

when jack is writing up on the chalkboard, he’s not fighting some guy- it’s oscar, dude. jack and oscar literally go at it, and jack is so physical in this show so when he’s fighting his whole body is fighting. jack shoves oscar down onto the stairs, oscar gets up and tries to grab him but jack SHOVES HIS ENTIRE FOOT into oscar’s stomach and literally pushes him with everything he’s got and oscar tumbles into the stairs, knocking more wind out of him, and is coughing and shit all while “strike!” goes up on the board. god. it rly is the way jack has to put his whole body into making sure oscar can’t get up… it must be an even fight normally

when -5 newsies show up to the gate and they have the “ahh oscar we got bum information” it’s like… they don’t have to intimidate to intimidate. “my skull bustin’ arm” isn’t cartoonish, bro, it’s a fucking fact. and then oscar just laughs, and it’s not evil it’s like bc this is genuinely fun and amusing to him that they are going to kick some kid ass. man!

and then they do i mean i think it’s brass knuckles to the face that take crutchie out… they might kick him too. idr i’m watching all the kids run for their lives during the fight tbh.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, THEY SHOW UP WITH BATS. and it’s not like. a little stage combat bop to the face via a wrist motion— morris at least is swinging with two hands at these kids like he’s tryna hit a home run. it’s choreographed well obv, so he doesn’t even have to slow his swing it’s literally a straight up… if a kid got hit with that they’d be down for the rest of the strike. period bro. it’s kinda fuckin terrifying.

act 2 baby! pulitzer’s office. when pulitzer is extorting jack, when he says “oh, but it’s not right to condemn that little cr*ppled boy to conditions like those…” oscar. fucking. looks over to his brother. and smiles. no it was not a one night thing either. it is every. time. pulitzer mentions crutchie. and it’s chilling, it’s slow and knowing and BAD ASF !! then they haul jack off.

he’s taken upstage behind the scaffolding towers while pulitzer sings the rest of the reprise, but there’s enough light to see what’s going on between the three of them. and what’s going on is that jack is held to the wall while the delanceys take turns punching him. like. whole-shoulder-into-it hits. in the ribs so no one can visually see. oh. my. god. they wrench him downstage and toss him to the ground, jack actually falling and sliding (unlike….proshot where jerjor stumbles to the ground ig) onto his stomach during “we’ve been given discretion..” (discretion only, which is why they rough jacks up privately as he technically hasn’t given the brothers a reason to smack him around..) jack looks like he’s about to get up when my perhaps my favorite detail in the show happens. everyone listen closely:

oscar puts his foot down, on jack’s shoulder. his right shoulder. the shoulder of which fic writers and headcanoners for years have been including as some place where jack has chronic pain after an injury. and michael does a few shoulder moments through the show if you’re really looking (not as obv as jerjor but more natural maybe) and like. and oscar stands on it and pushes jacks back to the ground. holy FUCKING SHIT! ITS!!!! ITS THERE!!! our fucking!! the Thing!!!!! the fucking lore bro like does oscar know it’s sensitive for jack… duuuude. evil delanceys best delanceys

anyway they literally rock. pay attention to them onstage if u can! also the actors r quite funny together and they often do a bull-and-cape bows choreo thing w/ george running thru alex’s mimed cape <3

speaking of jack though, …jack!!

im not making this up jack does tilt davey’s chin up at some point i just don’t remember when… it has to be sometime on seize the day. it’s.. i don’t think i’m making this up.

he does make a point of tilting… might’ve been romeo’s chin up during the seize the day speech during “ain’t no crime to being poor,” and jack makes a movement for the kid to hold his head up. ugh. jack’s pride through this show is a wild wild journey because all it really is.. is within other people. god. god…

another big jack thing as i like to yell abt is his physicality.. when he’s impressed he’s soft and when he needs to get something out of someone or get them away from him he’s distinctly rougher. his physical action is also quite purposeful and feels less reactive than it does like… thought through. even when he’s tugging himself away from les even it’s like an “oh, get off of me already”. it’s a slow, sort of just sick-of-it motion, it’s a wind-up into pulling his arm away (oh this could. be because it’s his bad shoulder and oscar had dug his heel into it the night before. hold tf on WOAH WOAH!!!! rizz ghost-directed this production fr) before of course he realizes it’s les. like it’s very clear he’d be the type to hide an injury really well and then when he lets himself feel it he feels it.

continuing the end of the rally though oh my god. he basically stands upstage center as everyone passes him. everyone he’s ever known passes him and insults him and shoves him but what’s interesting is like. the money is still in his hand. and no one takes it. idk it’s just cool. but literally everyone has words to say to him (well, some spit at him), because honestly, jack said words to them.

significantly, and i can’t stress this enough, jack is an extremely good observer and because of this he does think before he speaks.. in a way. he bases it around a person for sure though, specifically: during the seize the day speech, he goes up to race (he makes his rounds through the whole stage during this part, getting to speak to every newsie on stage. it’s really.. ah, moving, tbh) when he says “they are slaving to support themselves, and their folks” BECAUSE he’d been seeing race and davey not get along (hello to my post about that) through most of the show.. because of davey’s privilege of having a home. inversely, during the rally ‘speech’ jack says “how long can you go without making money” to fucking tommy boy, WHO HAD BEEN A SCAB. tommy literally stands up from the ladder he’s sitting on too bc literally how dare jack… like that is SO. specific.

^but, it also shows that jack definitely knows the methodology of trying to win people over. he knows how to be persuasive, he just obviously isn’t at the rally bc he’d been even more persuasive during seize the day.

• caveat. race is literally so fun to watch during the rally. because he quite literally is only here for the cause because of jack, like if jack wasn’t leading it… idt he’d be in support of it. (especially based on his dislike of davey). he does this “oh my god” of disbelief when jack says to vote no, shaking his head and laughing a little. it’s just. horrified. and it’s gradual too, like he slowly realizes what is going on, that jack is selling out vs. being genuine. ugh. love this racetrack so much but anyway

davey’s shove to jack when he goes to get les is like so small and light in the way of like. not wanting to touch him. because WWH reprise had been filled to the brim of davey touching jack and now davey can barely even fathom it. god they are so going out. also i think it’s interesting that dave and les are the ones to take on and off jack’s newsie square mural, since they’re the only two who have been in the know of jack’s talent since towards the start of the show (meddas)… cool choice.

santa fe for this jack feels the least tangible, like it’s very much in his mind. from it being ingrained in the set, and certainly the moon expanding and practically consuming him from behind, it’s very… dreamlike and visual. when davey walks in on jack painting he’s like “ohhhh is that santa fe. lmao.” LIKE?? it’s very not real in this which is interesting. because jack is very very good at running in this. so it’s cool that this rly is the one time he can’t (when he wants to).

also it rly is the way that the mics caught the ripping noises when jack is taking off the portraits from his penthouse’s overhang… the slow one at the end of “ you stole for those boys, didn’t you?” whew. and he looks at it. and then hides it. god

also, and i’m realizing this hasn’t been canon before: jack is packing a bag to literally leave. he has the money, he kept the jacobs out of jail, he has to go. because his pride does reside in others, and when there seems to be no one left, he has to leave. of course he does. god…

davey time.

the holding of davey’s head is after world will know while the tables are being set up. finally nailed down when tf this happens lmao

“oh, wow… well. you’re really good.” davey covers up when he’s impressed in favor of a statement of fact. he doesn’t like giving away his position, even when it’s not about the strike (/this foreshadows his hesitancy in the next scene, and his statements of facts about how strikes work accidentally backfiring as a stalling tactic and turn into actual reasons to strike).

davey laughs when he’s nervous, which makes when he’s smiling and when he’s not.. quite stark. his resting face is a little inquisitive frown, like he’s always kind of listening. but yeah for his spotlight at the rally he literally is like “oh haha! um- umm, haha— NEWSIESOFNEWYORK. haha! ummm, we got kids from- from every neighborhood!!” i love him. just the concept of meaning what you say so much that it needs to come out of you no matter what form it takes. @we-are-inevitable and i have talked abt poet!davey before and yeah it was uk davey who it stemmed from for a reason.

the role call moment in seize the day is cringe but genuinely davey’s will never not make me laugh bc like HE THINKS it’s cringe too. but what he also does is not call himself david. he says davey. during a role call. names. and it’s davey. do y’all understand

i actually will probably never shut up about crutchie’s open arms to davey after the refuge and davey rly just falling into it my god.. it makes me so emotional. and they talk for so long…

• to this point, i think it’s rly interesting how leaders, specifically, gravitate towards davey. charlie is talking to the guy upon impact- after world will know the two of them are borderline speaking over jack.. the blocking has charlie turned inward towards davey while sitting on the table, which blocks jack off. race argues with davey partway thru the pre-seize the day scene enough so for jack to push race back. and spot LOVES davey. he’ll try to look toward jack and she will bring him right back down to her level and get him looking at her again and they RUN OFF WITHOUT HIM even though they’re all headed to the same place. like lmao. davey is built to lead and engage, there is just something within his nature that is desperate to come out that all the other leaders tease out in different ways. tbh katherine too. DEFINITELY katherine too, since they’re attached at the hip.

we end the davey section with a javid moment idr if i’ve mentioned or not: when jack sets the deal to buy back papers with pulitzer, the transition back to newsie square is davey running. running to jack, katherine a ways behind, and grabbing jack’s shoulders with his eyes widened. well? and jack kinda shrugs, he’s playing it cool before he just grins, and davey rattles jack’s arms before they like. their hug is so close and intimate and rough and davey shoves jack into him, it’s the kind of hug that rocks them side to side a bit. my god. it’s unbelievable. can’t believe they got away w that level of homo onstage <3

speaking of homos im gonna go thru some ensemble quick stuff

albert and crutchie are close friends in this which is so cool. albert is also like consistently the one to pick anyone up off the ground, be it crutchie or les or another kid. it’s just what he does and it helps to not single out crutchie as well. he’s just so helpful and unhinged. like what a weird fucking paring he’s so crazy LMAO

finch is the one who starts the boos during the rally, loud and abrasive and angry. he and race are standing at manhattan with… ooh. idk. it might be splasher but literally do not quote me. finch is just so abrasive through this whole show i fucking love him. loud weirdo

mike is the angriest newsie in town. he is always yelling before a dance break

every time jojo and jack interact it’s like he’s picking up his baby brother or he’s hugging him etc and it like literally makes me emotional lololol. wow

jack bromage was fully back as tommy boy for my show (he’d been out for a bit/doing partial things bc of an injury!!) and THANK GOD because he is. and i’ve been over this but he is literally so cool LMAO he is For The Cause.

buttons is literally so cool in this despite his name. he steals from a vendor before getting the other newsie he’s with to toss their fruit to a sitting-alone splasher, his bit with the delanceys gets him pissed, he’s just consistently ready to actually throw hands and appreciate him for it. kind of serves uhhh livesies tommy boy energy which is fantastic

henry just has a lot more lines in this which surprises me every time. either that or he talks a lot just when he’s onstage LMAO

specs kind of always either literally leads or encourages the movement when newsies are in the aisles/city alleyways, which makes sense— of course the lookout would know the city back and forth!! god! i love him. i do wish we had a black actor again but sam is very sweet <3

that’s all! i say, having done another multiple thousand-word analysis post. thanks for joining me once again gents.

my past analyses have been about:

the show at large +principal characters,

davey,

something to believe in’s new perspective,

other general notes/characterizations,

and racetrack!

[tiptapricot]

Hiya!! This may sound like a weird ask question but my autistic brain and it’s hyper fixations won’t let me live until I have this all figured out. So I watched moon knight and obviously became obsessed with Layla, the thing is, I love her outfits, and I feel like there ain’t enough on the show!! Like literally only three outfits maybe four that we can see and I need more it makes me sad. Could you maybe recommend me some other characters with the same style as her, or give me some links to Pinterest outfits that would fit her? I saw your stevens apartment post and I know a ‘I never miss a detail’ person when I see one which I adore about you being honest. Thanks for reading I know it’s weird lmao 🤭

He anon!! I don’t know if you ended up finding other answers, this got lost in my drafts while answering and I’m only just getting to it now (edit: got lost in drafts again while half finished and I’ve wrapped up some pieces to finally post it now months later), but I hope this helps! I unfortunately am not a fashion focused person nor someone as familiar w a wide range of characters outside of my interests as far as immediately available brain information, but I’ll do what I can :-) This is more of a post examining Layla’s outfit details and trends, so make of that what you will!

I checked costume designer Meghan Kasperlik’s Instagram where she’s posted a lot of the details of the costuming process, however the general focus seems to be on the suits and godly designs. I also couldn’t find any immediately available interviews talking about the choices made with Layla. Still! Here’s her post on the behind the scenes for the Scarlet Scarab costume, with detail shots and some notes.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Meghan Kasperlik (@mkcostumes)

(No ID available for video)

As far as more regular outfit stuff for Layla, here’s my own peeking and observations! These are the outfits we see her in in show (excluding the Duat Layla, the look she takes to blend in with Harrow’s men, and Scarlet Scarab, as those are outside of her canonic own fashion choices and wardrobe).

Summon the Suit:

What we see here is a more casual outfit, but still somewhat tactical. This is what Layla wore to go looking for Marc after his radio silence, a situation she wasn’t sure was his choice or because he was in danger. As such, we can assume this is a generally a more mission oriented outfit, tactical but able to blend in with civilian crowds. Stuff to notice!

There are colors but they are more muted

The pants are not loose and are sturdy while still allowing for good movement, but are not leggings or stretchy fabric

The pants are also somewhat high waisted/pulled up, with the top tucked in

She is wearing rings on her right hand, even for a more official mission (will go more in depth in next outfit)

She has a watch on her left wrist

More a fun fact, but the jacket mirrors/resembles the scarlet scarab design/look, which is a really fun character detail and good foreshadowing

The Friendly Type:

Layla’s most outfit heavy episode :-D These show some rly interesting trends in her choices and allows us to see her more casual outfit looks, and what she wears outside of business.

Outfit one, opening scene:

This one we never get a super clear shot of, but it’s what she wears while getting her passport forged. She’s with a friend, but doing slightly more illegal activity. I don’t know where she is when this happens, but things to note!

Big comfy black leather jacket, a black shirt, and black (skinny?) jeans

Darker tones again, possibly because she had to blend in or be under the radar for this meeting, but also may just be a casual look as her wardrobe trends darker

Pants are not loose but still flexible again, and are high waisted/pulled up again

Rings! Same as from summon the suit, on the same hands. These seem to stay constant in all following outfits. Will have their own mini section

A loose gold chain necklace

Still has her watch

Outfit 2, confronting Marc in Cairo:

This is Likely Layla’s most casual and every day type outfit we see her in during the show. She’s clearly been about town, having grabbed a drink, changed, and been looking for Marc. Things to note!

A bit more color again with the pinkish pants, but still a dimmer shade, nothing too bright, but cute and casual

Pants have a button and are pulled up higher again, seemingly looser than previous bottoms we’ve seen. I’m also unsure if these are shorts as I don’t have a clear shot, but they could be

Her top is loose and casual but nothing like a tight tank top, and has an almost ruffle look to it

Rings and watch as usual

Outfit 3, Mogart’s/turning back the sky (and what she fights in in the beginning of the next episode):

Initially a more formal, elegant type look, meant to blend in well with Mogart’s vibe, but still present a professional front, and double for a confrontation she knows is coming.

Darker tones again, grey and black this time, with a loose vibe to everything with nothing too stretchy

Pants high waisted again, seemingly tied around her waist either with a belt, a sash, or something built into the pants

Sleeves rounded against the wrists

Top is sleeveless under coat in a similar cut to her more casual pink and white Cairo look from previously

Watch and rings as usual

The tomb/God’s and Monsters:

Suited up to go into the tomb, all pretenses of formality have been dropped for something tactical.

New vest and belt, earth tones and sturdy fabric

A new shirt as her undershirt from previous was short sleeved

New pants, grey this time instead of the previous black

While I think she may have been wearing them at Mogart’s, has her gold snake earrings very prominent in this scene

So!! With all of this. The general sense I can get of Layla’s fashion is:

high waisted pants almost always

generally muted color palette of blacks, greys, browns, etc, occasionally with a splash of color usually in warmer tones like red or pink

Not much super stretchy fabric like leggings, and not many tight or athletic tops. She goes comfortable and generally loose, as well as going with more matte(?) textured clothing, nothing shiny or super silky

She has a range of jackets and jewelry

She wears her watch and rings with everything

And speaking of—

Rings!

Layla wears the same sets of rings throughout the show, a different set on each hand.

Right hand:

A gold ring with some kind of flat and engraved top, though I can’t tell the design on it in the shots we get

Two rounder and more generic silver rings

Left hand:

Two more generic flatter gold-ish rings

One silver ring with raised edges and maybe details on the flatter part, unsure

This is the hand she has the watch on!

As far as the significance or referencing of these with all of this, I don’t know! Again I am not tied into the fashion world and wouldn’t know where to start on research if these hold more significance or referential character detail than just being rings she likes to wear. But it’s an interesting detail to see her preferences and that she keeps these as well as her earrings on on missions and in deadly situations.

She doesn’t do this with necklaces, and it makes me think it’s likely related to function. Rings can help with punching (debatably) and earrings won’t cause a disadvantage, but a necklace would be a choking, tangling, or face-hitting hazard. The one time we do see her wear a necklace during active mission time is at Mogart’s, and of course, we see that’s because it’s specifically worn to be layer used as a weapon.

So! Again sorry this took so long, not even sure if you’ll see this if you don’t follow me, and I know I am more presenting information and details over analysis or giving you alternative looks, but I hope this was at least interesting and helped some for vibes to look for!

Also if anyone has things to add in about details I missed (it’s been long enough now I don’t remember if I rewatched the episodes to examine shots or not), or significance or references I didn’t pick up as someone not familiar with fashion, please feel free to add it in a reblog! Similar to my Steven’s flat layout post I’m more than happy to have this be a growing and changing source of Layla outfit information and discussion :-)

(IDs besides video in ALT)

[mostlymaudlin]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me. 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

544,914. (again. woagh)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)

man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!

anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading! 

i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.  

ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.

that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3

[jackienautism]

edit : you know just ignore this entire thing im just stupdi 😭 keeping it up still but . yeah

my thought of the night:

idk idk. i just . it rly irks me when ppl characterize amanda as this ruthless killer? fnsjfnd like. that’s just. not it.? YES she is a killer and shit and she’s def no angel but. she wouldn’t stab me just because i asked for her pronouns?FNSJFNS LIKE

even UNDER john’s influence, that’s just not how she operates yk? she’s only like that whenever she believes lynn is attempting to get between her and john. she’s only like that bc of her unhealthy relationship. WITH JOHN. if john had NO influence in her life, had not taken her under his wing, she wouldn’t be willing to pull a gun on someone just bc they’re getting “between” her and him. she isn’t necessarily violent, unless i’m reading things COMPLETELY incorrectly. she’s only violent when her relationship w/ john is at stake LMAO

her kills (outside of her Attempts towards lynn) are typically an act of mercy. not to say that makes things any better, but. she doesn’t kill bc she wants to or bc she doesn’t have anything better to do. she kills adam and she STILL regrets it to the point of harming herself like😭 and the only reason why she’s there to witness kerry’s death, as another post mentioned and def explained much better than me, was bc of her inherent involvement w/ eric. it was probably almost like a . thing to bring her solace or whatever. and her rigged traps? it’s all to prevent them from undergoing the “rehabilitation” process. to prevent them from living the life, the trauma SHE had to live after surviving her trap. basically she’s saying that dying is soooo much better than whatever the fuck she had to go through lol

does that make her an angel? of course not. does that make her much more interesting and NOT ruthless? yeah. at least imo it does

like. she wouldn’t just beat me up for no reason. she’s not someone who would piss on me and also spit on my grave. like ? unless i’m just ?????? totallly mischaracterizing her? LIKE . even JOHN says that her emotion is her downfall. the reason WHY she is killed in the first place is BC she cares too much. she cares too much abt john and her relationship w/ him. THATS why she shoots lynn. and THATS why she couldn’t save gabriela. her loyalty to john means so much more to her than most things. she cares WAAAY too much, to the point that it kills her

and saying and implying that she’s a killer and is violent bc she wants to be just …. it rly disregards and takes away that aspect of her character

and i truly don’t think that her being added as a dead by daylight killer helps here either LOL LIKE. i wouldve looooved to see her as a survivor but i totally understand why she wouldn’t be one. but at the same time . she’s not LIKE most other killers there yk? she’s basically manipulated into being a killing machine. by fucking john. bc SHE was supposed to take over his legacy once he died. if john had NO involvement in amanda’s life, she wouldn’t be the way she is

and like….. yeah that’s what makes her character interesting blah blah blah BUT. and hear me out. amanda never killed before she was recruited LMAO she kills now bc she feels like she has to. to save ppl from whatever shitty fate awaits them

idk if this makes any sense at all but . idk it just irks me brother. bc she isn’t your typical slasher. she’s sooo much more than that. she isn’t inherently violent. she wouldn’t beat me up and call me names . unless she had a reason to yk😭

LIKE basiclalg what i’m saying is. yes amanda is a killer. but that doesn’t mean she’s heartless and mean and shit. in fact she’s the complete opposite?????

i could go on a whole thing abt her actions and whatnot in saw ii despite already being an apprentice by thag point, but i’ll spare y’all the details. but. how she held herself and others in that murder house? most of it was def NOT faked. she genuinely cared for these ppl and wanted to see them succeed. and look at how she sympathized w/ gabriela? she cares TOO much which prevents her from being the Great apprentice to jigsaw and his legacy

i forgot exactly what john said, but after hoffman told him that he didn’t expect to feel remorse after putting the guy in the barbed wire trap? he says smth along the lines of needing to be detached from your emotions… . and that’s something amanda CAN NOT do. she lets her emotions dictate her actions ALL the time

yeah ok i just checked and he said that theheart can never be involved... that it can never be personal... and you know what amanda does ALL the time? ESP w/ gabriela?

went all over the place here sorry. but saying that she’s the WORST person on the planet is just wrong. like. watch how she held herself in her interview w/ police and that rockstar deleted scene and then we can talk abt amanda .

idek what i’m trying to say here . uhhhmmm. amanda young isnt an inherently violent and shitty person, you all are just stupid

[lostfracturess]

nici i’ll have u know i just took two shots of tequila in preparation for this chapter 🤣🤣 and it’s close to 1pm on a tuesday

ALSO I CANT BELIEVE S&C IS OVER 100k NOW THANK U FOR THE NEVER ENDING FEAST QUEEN

“how can u stay so calm?” “drugs, sweetheart. it’s the drugs.”

i cackled so fkn hard 🤣

"Tell me," he whispered, his breath a warm caress against your ear. "Where would you want him to touch you?"

IM CHEWING MY MF KNUCKLES I NEED THIS MAN (or both men) IN MY BED IMMEDIATELY

Geto stripped the rain from his hair, then twisted the dark strands into a fresh bun. His eyes flickered between you and Satoru, a single raised eyebrow his only question. You wouldn't meet his gaze, the floor suddenly fascinating. 

stoppppp okay first of all the writing is eating so hard idk how but w every chapter i just fall more n more in love w the way u write 😭 BUT ALSO DON’t GIMME THE IMAGE OF A RAIN SOAKED GETO or else something ELSE is gonna be soaked out here🧍🏻‍♀️

ok i have to stop quoting every other line lmaooo

"Just so we're clear," Satoru's voice suddenly cut through the quiet, "I don't share. Not you."

PLS I KNOW I SAID I WLD STOP QUOTING EVERY OTHER LINE BUT THIS WAS THE NEXT LINE AND IM SCREAMING this is not fun to read while i’m in my fertile window

sighhh the conversation ab the 37 y/o pt passing n how he’s just a statistic now 😭 so heartbreaking yet realistically put

im loving the daddy dom energy satoru is exuding in this chapter i just love when usually flirty/amused men lock tf in when things get serious lol it’s so hot. also so sweet how all he’s concerned ab is her reputation & career ahead

“A familiar ache rose in your chest. You longed to reach out, to bridge the chasm he insisted on maintaining. But his posture, rigid as stone, and his clenched jaw, sent a silent warning. This was his battle, one he'd fight in isolation—as always.”

ughh i feel like this perfectly sums up their dynamic. also if s&c was a paperback book this wld 100% be a quote that readers wld highlight on the page n crop to post on pinterest lmaooo it’s so good

“He was falling apart. But all you could do was watch.”

🥲 pls. stopp im so fragile rn.

NOOOOO NOT SUKUNA BOOO BOOOOOO 🍅 🍅 GIMME FIVE MINS IN A ROOM W HIM RN 💥👊🏼

i have sm anxiety over this ethics hearing my palms r actually sweaty. its like i’m THERE rn.

wait nici can u explain again sukuna’s want for revenge towards gojo n wanting to tear him/reader down 😭 was it like the jealousy that he wasn’t able to become a successful surgeon like gojo n had to settle on educational matters instead? :”) im dumb sry. ik he’s the root of gojo’s addiction but i think i might be missing something here lol. or do we not know yet

ok i still hate sukuna’s guts but there is partial truth to what hes saying🧍🏻‍♀️not saying reader isn’t brilliant n talented in her own right, but for sure, satoru’s attraction to her has given her opportunities that other qualified students were potentially robbed of (we live in a society lol). but idk how exactly she ranks among her peers, so maybe she rly was the best student for the job, but that’s all very subjective

"Because you would do the same," you finally managed, the words scraped raw from your throat. "You would stay. You wouldn't leave me."

ok “why do you even stay?” sent a chill down my spine but THISSS. im gaspeddd :””(( reader loves him sm and if her commitment to not letting him take all the blame isnt evident enough, her sticking w him thru his drug addiction is truly a type of devotion that comes from a purest point of love

“You—you make me feel things I've spent a lifetime avoiding, things I don't know how to handle. It scares the hell out of me."

ouchhhh 😭 ok but i feel him on this. that avoidant attachment be hittin againnn lmao me n him are so same

"You don't need to deserve me, Satoru. Love isn't about deserving. It's about choosing each other, again and again, no matter what. And I choose you.”

CRYINGG YES 😭😭😭💕💕💕 this healed a part of me ngl

"If you don't come down in the next few minutes, you're the one getting folded, first-year."

WHY IS HE ALL OF A SSUDEN MR FUNNY MAN NOW PLSSSKDJDJD their chemistry this chap is off the charts

FFFFFUCKKK MEEE JUNKYARD BOY CHOSO!!!!????? I BET HE SMELLS LIKE GREASE N SWEAT N SOMEONE I WANNA FUCK. omg he called me pretty company 🤭🤭 bye dr gojo im all about them blue collars im sorry 😔🤚🏼

"I love you, first-year. Damn it, I love you. I don't care how complicated this gets, I want you."

god pls 🧎🏻‍♀️ if i’ve done anything good in life, then just give me this man

OMGGG HES GONNA FUCK US OVER THE HOOD OF A CAR ?!??!!?

"You give in too easily." A teasing smile played on his lips. "You don't really want me to fuck you on this hood, right?"

😐😐 this isn’t funny. im not laughing rn. i will not stand this sort of edging. gimme dick NOW

omg🧍🏻‍♀️ive no words to say about that smut. delicious, devious, dampening. he is my every fantasy and i desire him. i desire him so deeply

aaa he hurt her in his sleeeeppp 😭😭 for a man that cares so deeply like him that mustve really fucked w him. also this is so random and must be my daddy issues speaking lmao but satoru (minus his addiction) wld be such a good family man🧍🏻‍♀️the way he loves is sooo providing and stubborn to a fault but almost in a way that’s kind of grounding lol bc i feel like he’s almost always, at the end of the day, right about everything? haha i cld be proven so wrong ab this but i just had to share the thought

mannn im on the second court hearing n im just SO damn curious what is going thru satoru’s head rn 😭 it seems like something switched in there somehow, his demeanor is so different

him actinf so calm rn is scarinf the shit ourta me im ngl🧍🏻‍♀️like bb ur scaring me. PKS IN SO SCARED WHY IS HE SUDDNELY TELLINF US HE LOVES US

ah. and there it is. satoru’s impending fall from grace. i saw it coming from a mile away and that he wld do something like this, but fuck. the way it was written. i thought it would be something that came a place of more heightened emotions from him, something desperate to protect (kinda like in the first hearing). but THIS….so calm, collected, so sure of his love for reading that he’s willing to let go of almost everything that has given him purpose in life up until this point. it aches.

:( im heartbroken rn. amazing chapter 😭💕 thank u sm for writinf it, oh my gosh, jusf amazing

i need more tequila

giiirl!!! not the tequila ahhhhh 😭😭 that brings back bad memories omg.

& yes the story is over 100k already and still no end in sight. i never thought i would write so much lol. but also i'm already so sad when the story will eventually someday end. like i never want to not write about my unhinged neurosurgeon gojo help.

stoppppp okay first of all the writing is eating so hard idk how but w every chapter i just fall more n more in love w the way u write

thank you so so much!! that's such a big compliment coming from a fellow author <3

BUT ALSO DON’t GIMME THE IMAGE OF A RAIN SOAKED GETO or else something ELSE is gonna be soaked out here🧍🏻‍♀️

GIRL 😂 I'M SORRY.

i have sm anxiety over this ethics hearing my palms r actually sweaty. its like i’m THERE rn.

so glad the angst transpires well in this chapter!!!

wait nici can u explain again sukuna’s want for revenge towards gojo n wanting to tear him/reader down

so first: sukuna is an asshole.

second: sukuna is an asshole.

third: SUKUNA IS AN ASSHOLE.

no seriously, how i portray him is like a very power driven man, that thrives on the misery of others. moreover satoru being his lifelong rival and sukuna finally getting a change to push him of his throne is just something he wouldn't let slip through his fingers. so it's really all about power and control on sukuna's side.

also satoru's states in that chapter that he did something stupid in his past that sukuna is still mad about. feel free to speculate, given satoru's past 😂

ok i still hate sukuna’s guts but there is partial truth to what hes saying

yes it is!! satoru really has just eyes for yn and is defensively letting other students down in the process. this just adds to the overall mess their relationship is.

ok “why do you even stay?” sent a chill down my spine but THISSS.

hmmmmmm ahhhhhhh SO HAPPY that these lines landed well <333 love them!! they are so messy and raw ahhhhh

WHY IS HE ALL OF A SSUDEN MR FUNNY MAN NOW PLSSSKDJDJD their chemistry this chap is off the charts

he had a little bit of drugs and was all happy again lol.

FFFFFUCKKK MEEE JUNKYARD BOY CHOSO!!!!????? I BET HE SMELLS LIKE GREASE N SWEAT N SOMEONE I WANNA FUCK.

i was wondering, if i should just do a random character or one of the jjk cast and choso just came into mind at first. idk why but i think it fits ahaha.

omg🧍🏻‍♀️ive no words to say about that smut. delicious, devious, dampening. he is my every fantasy and i desire him. i desire him so deeply

here to serve!! so glad you liked the spicy scene. they are always a pain in the ass to write.

aaa he hurt her in his sleeeeppp 😭😭 for a man that cares so deeply like him that mustve really fucked w him.

YES!!! you're the first to comment on that!!! also thought that this is so so so SO BAD for him. like he would never (physically) hurt her and doing it unintentionally in his sleep??? EVEN WORSE. poor boy must have felt so miserable and angry at himself after.

the way he loves is sooo providing and stubborn to a fault but almost in a way that’s kind of grounding lol

honestly, love your observation about the potential family man side of satoru! his love IS fierce, demanding, and sometimes overbearing, but at its core, it's deeply protective, and i think you're spot on about that being grounding.

but THIS….so calm, collected, so sure of his love for reading that he’s willing to let go of almost everything that has given him purpose in life up until this point. it aches.

so happy satoru's fall from grace hit well!! wanted that choice of his to feel both shocking and inevitable. not a desperate outburst, but this chillingly calculated decision, born out of love. it just hurts so good!

thank you so so much for your lovely reactions to the chapter ellie, as always!! it means the world. also give me some of the tequila lol. sending you kisses and hugs ♡

[grimmcheems]

The blonde trio after the Quirk War

So I did a continuation of the my previous Villain Aoyama AU art lmao. Ig it’s not rly an AU canonically?? (Though idk how the manga has been handling my boi since I dropped it after his reveal oop) anywayyssssss…..these babies now have to live with new identities and frequently change jobs every year in order to keep a low profile.

Monoma works as a Cab/Taxi driver and street food chef(think like hole in the wall restaurant?/place with frequent customers but within the backstreets of cities) Toga is a Sales Clerk💀(don’t ask how she even managed to get the job, the hiring manager was probably too scared by her aura to refuse her) AND Tutor(don’t ask how she landed that either since she never got to finish high school to begin with) and Aoyama works as a Bartender in a HOST CLUB(Kurogiri helped him land the job and taught him some cool stuff from his experience of working their dingy bar they used to live in with the LOV[which has since been disbanded after the quirk war].

Btw I added the “Kumo/Kuro” bc Shirakumo and Kurogiri get it? Idrk why I decided to add him in last minute but I thought it’d be funny if he pretended/acted to be their dad when they escape during their trial and onto living in the streets (for the sake of being brief: which ends in them faking their own deaths. I thought to make an art of the events leading up to this but who knows how long that will take me or when I’ll get to it🗿it is also pretty gruesome with the way I imagined it for my AU so I’m not sure if many people would even be up for seeing that oop)

They have to frequently dye their hair since they can easily be recognized by just their blonde hair and facial features, which is also why Monoma and Toga wear color contacts. Aoyama doesn’t need them since he wore different colored contacts when he became a student at UA, so there’s no need for them since everyone remembered him to have the color contact eyes instead of his natural green eyes.

They all will work multiple part time jobs to keep up with their rent and budget etc. However there are times where they will all quit to just take time to themselves. They all live together in the same apartment. Everyone also thinks they are dead, so there’s no need for them to really hide, but they’re too traumatized by heroes and their peers(hero students) to not stay in the hidden parts of towns and cities and lowkey jobs. There’s more to that on the “trial” I imagined for them (I dropped the manga some time ago but I heard that my baby Aoyama may POSSIBLY get actual time in prison for his affiliation and that was the forefront of the idea I came up with that they would all go through a trial process as they are still just children)

ALSO, in my AU Aoyama ends up with Dark shadow at some point (don’t question it I’m still trying to figure out how to fit it in so it makes sense👩🏽‍🦯, but they sort of form a bond and Dark Shadow develops depression after his “death”. He does go back to Tokoyami at some point after Aoyama realizes that Toko must be in ruins not having his best bud anymore and ‘gives’ him back?

I also mentioned that this is AFTER the “quirk war” I’m not sure if they actually use that title but from what I remember they distinctly called it that when I last read the manga. I could be wrong though.

One last thing, idk how the whole Oboro thing would work out, since he can use his quirk on command in this(hence the lack of purple mist) but technically he IS dead canonically….LIKE FRFR. Bro ain’t coming back and his body was just harvested and being used, but ignore that for this……he was just in a deep slumber and awoke after breaking out of the high security quirk prison he was in and decided to take care of the three because he would’ve wanted someone to do the same for him when he was younger and “died”.😫🖤

I know I write a lot so I highly doubt anyone read all of this😅but it’s so hard to JUST post my art and NOT WRITE ANYTHING since they all spawn from these ideas I get and I NEED to provide the context lmao Σ('◉⌓◉’)otherwise I feel wack that no one will ever know what I was aiming for lol🥲

[cornerihaunt]

omg thank you!!!

she’s a huge capitals fan (and loves her boy ovechkin) so i def keep up with the caps now. i know there are intermissions between each period, i can gauge how a game is going based on score (like 1-0 isn’t a HUGE thing by second period but 2-6 as a final score is a curbstomp kinda thing)

i don’t have a team myself yet that i support beyond the capitals, which is a support-by-proxy thing, but i always keep up on the score at least when i’m busy doing something but i know she’s watching a game

i also know enough to know the poor flyers got HUMILIATED saturday. i’m an ohioan and i know damn well the jackets suck ass but then they turned around and won 6-2 against the flyers and fucked up the flyers’ path to the playoffs despite the fact that the jackets sure as hell ain’t going this year

she listens to it a lot more than watching it until the playoffs unless she can go to a game or isn’t busy and can sit and watch it, so following has been more difficult since i have auditory processing issues BUT watching numbers has helped. i know about goalies being pulled if they’re sucking (which blew my mind) but i’m still trying to understand the circumstances where a team pulls players and it’s like 3v5 etc and more complex things than that

i’m just a simple gay but i’m rly enjoying it thus far! idk how i’ll pick my team tho

boooo the caps boooo /j!!! i do love ovi tho (he scored what i’m pretty sure is my favorite goal ever, against arizona in… 2006? it always makes the highlight reels. for good reason!!)

imo the team finds you and not the inverse. like i literally imprinted like a baby duckling (or a baby penguin? haha) on the penguins.

that one flyers game i was checking on for playoff race purposes and my god. i was hoping (sort of foolishly, bc as you’ve said, they’re not the best team lmao) for a jackets win but i did not expect that blowout from both of those teams??? insane little game

speaking of playoff race. i feel like rn it’s such an exciting time to get into hockey!!! you have an insane playoff race for a spot in the east, and anyways the playoffs themselves are gonna start soon!! (right during ttpd release week lmao so that’s gonna be fun FOR ME)

i prefer to watch the game simply bc if i only listen i can’t really… see it? but i have listened to a couple of games and imo it is sooo much more intense with the radio broadcast than the tv broadcast. if you like numbers you might like “watching” a game as i did last year, so by literally checking on the gamecenter on nhl.com which has aaaall the numbers (shots on goals, hits, face-off percentages, etc) and it’s a fun way to gauge the way a game is going. also you’d love. LOVE the standings bc those are sooo fun once you get into it and know how to read them!! calculating who needs to win what in order for your team to get into that one playoff spot is fun (if not unnerving. but fun)

on the when a team pulls a player etcetera imo that stuff you get it by watching really. bc there’s shifts and there’s line changes and power plays and penalty kills but they alllll make sense in the context of the game.

[steffigraf]

got tagged by @rafasbiscuits mwah thanks babe <33

tea, coffee, or soda? soda my beloved

dogs or cats? right now dogs since i never rly spent a lot of time around cats, but i might get a cat soon ish so that answer’s gonna change if ever lmao

can you play any instrument? nope but i like messing with keyboards sometimes even though i don’t know how to play for real

what’s your sun sign? virgo

first song lyrics that pops into your head? “knew i’d see you here, i guess you still look great, it’s been a couple years since i let you break me open”

do you have any tattoos? no and not planning to

favorite place you’ve travelled? kinda hard bc i love traveling! buuuut i’ll go with takayama in japan <3 it was a lovely village-y area with snow and all. absolutely picturesque

what’s the last movie you watched? hm it’s been a while bc i don’t watch movies too much. i think it was frozen in german for language practice, but i only reached halfway through and forgot to finish it

do you have any hobbies? language learning <333 and ofc also watching sports like football and tennis. and lately collecting cassette tapes has been a thing with me. and reading books my go to hobby since childhood

what languages do you speak? english, filipino, and i’d like to believe i can at least do a little itty bit of german lmao. but i’m currently trying to learn german and italian for uni and on the side a bit of latin and spanish in my free time. yeah i may have a bit of an obsession ok

you can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose? penelope from the odyssey bc she seems cool and i wanna trash talk men with her

compliment yourself! love how much you obsess over the things you love. and i’m proud of you for forging your own path even though it wasn’t what you thought you’d do with your life

tagging (only if you want!! no pressure) @jaagate @andreyrublevs @bluespring864 @ruudlev @bwehdal @candlelitutopia

[viragosoul]

HUH YUNJIN  22  FEMALE  SHE / HER — ; where do you get your inspiration, SONG SIYEON ? you’re so OUTSPOKEN, i can’t help but think of BLASTING MUSIC AT 3AM, THE LINGERING SMELL OF SUNSCREEN, BROKEN CLAY SPREAD ACROSS THE FLOOR when i hear your name. your friends tell me you can be DELUSIONAL sometimes . i guess it’s understandable given the circumstances . besides , i can’t even imagine how stressful SCULPTOR classes must be — not to mention you’re also in THE RED AND GREEN CLUB & SODALITES ! you’re a NEWCOMER , right ? yeah , i thought so . either way , welcome to mugunghwa !  ( rouge , 21+ , cst )

hello friends ♡ i’m rouge and i’m v excited to be here to bring you this bullheaded woman named song siyeon! she’s still relatively new and doesn’t rly know what’s going on, but that’s okay b/c she’s just here to prove herself 💪 anywho i have her profile and personality page set up, but under the cut i’ll have more info on her background and maybe even some half-baked plots if we’re lucky! please like this post to plot or add me on discord at saturnian charm#3118 which is highly preferred over tumblr ims! i’m super stoked to write with you all!

there’s nothing much to note of her background: she was born in seoul to a well off family as the miracle child after many fertility issues. mother was a professor turned stay at home mom, and her father is a politician, although a highly controversial / disliked one. her grandparents on her mother’s side are known art aficionados within the seoul scene. due to being the only child, she was pretty much your typical spoiled golden spoon baby.

deemed gifted with art at a very young age, and because her skills brought esteem to the song name, her parents decided to cultivate it and throw the best of whatever money could buy: tutors/mentors, supplies, schooling, experiences, whatever was recommended and whatever she asked for was gotten. in return, she was constantly put into art competitions “for her benefit” in her parents terms, but in hindsight it was obviously just for the attention ⏤ and didn’t start off too hot. anything that wasn’t top three was a failure

high school was ... alright. that’s when her father started becoming more controversial, and every time she started to win a competition her name was always attached to his, which caused her to be less socially accepted with her non-artistic peers ⏤ and even some of the artistic ones as well, thinking that she only won due to her family name. and in her eyes, there were only two ways of dealing with this: fall into despair and feel sorry for herself, or fight it. don’t give a damn and prove them wrong by working hard at her craft. and so, she does. and tbh ... this is probably whenever she reaches full menace status too LOL.

reaches out a sculptor that she admires via social media, and after meeting up at her exhibits siyeon becomes her mentee during her third year in high school. during breaks she travels abroad to where she lives in paris and hones her craft under her knowledge. does a lot of growing up during this time too.

after high school, she flies to paris after an argument with her parents regarding her future and decides to wing it. but actually living in a place abroad is much different from visiting, and culture shock hits her hard; she’s about to give up probably 4 weeks in until her mentor finds her, and instead siyeon spends that time under her tutelage while in art school. doesn’t reconnect with her parents ( especially since her father’s views get much worse while she’s away ) and instead contacts her grandparents more instead.

her grandparents talk about coming home and going to mugunghwa, as her grandpa has invested within the school, but she says no. however, when she meets minjun and finds out that he goes to to the same school, siyeon takes that as a sign and uproots her life to transfer there instead.

and yeah, that brings us to here and now! except now she’s single LMAO

okay so i actually lied and i don’t have plots here because the above took a lot out of me but i promise i love brainstorming so please don’t be afraid to hit me up! ♡ 

[hyunverse]

you’re so right hyunjin would 100% write you literally anything you like or would just come up w smth new whenever he felt like it. also would def just give you artwork he made for you 🥲. imagine him giving you little pieces of your fave animal or his fave pic of you guys together </////3 god id be in shambles. also i did not realize malaysia was that hot ?? i couldn’t do it i hateeeeee the heat. but then i also hate the cold. like i’ll literally be going to school in -20C weather where i live😭😭 it’s so awful. so spring and fall are 100% my times of the year like i’m always happiest at those times bc the weather is just normal

so true men are just men. i think we got lucky w our skz’s zodiacs. bc changbin is the only leo man that can exist okay 🙅🏻‍♀️ he is nothing like these average ass horrible leo men. he’s bias wrecking me so hard lately like he’s literally fighting w hyunjin rn for the spot. i can hear them bickering in the back of my head 😒😒

ALSO RIGHT i can’t help but baby him 💔💔 same w seungmin i just want to squish his cheeks 💔💔💔 manifesting seungmo forehead rn 🙏🏼. SO IMPRESSED W THE BOWLING BTW THATS AWESOMEEEE. i hope you had sm fun 😋 i’ll have to try it again soon and lyk. most likely i’ll be shit but it’s worth a try. my day was not the besttttt i’m rly stressed out and have a ton of crap going on but seeing ur response made my day ^_^. i saw it and blushed and squealed not even kidding. ur the sweetest you always put a smile on my face. i hope your day is good today :)) i think it’s like 6 am there rn which is so funny bc i’m about to eat dinner. like it’s cool to think we’re doing our opposite routines at the same time. does that even make sense ?? 😭 this is what i mean w the rambling i’m just 💔 LOL

alsoooooo i’m gonna reply to your other post here too and say i’m so glad you moved on from those pos’s. relationships suck and that’s why i read fanfics like yours to fill the void 🙏🏼. i’m jk i’ve also moved on but im a lover girl at heart so not being in a relationship is legit torture. like i just want to talk to someone and be loved and like go on dates 🙄 KISSES AND HUGS FOR U THO you deserve all of them bae <33

- 🐈‍⬛ (spammed again omg what is my PROBLEM ?? you bring out the talk in me and most ppl can’t do that <33 i can’t help it ur too kind)

hyun <3 painting u <3 with a fond smile in his face <3 they don’t make men like him anymore!

malaysia IS hot bae. . . it’s located at the equator </3 spring and fall seems so pretty, especially fall!! like dawggg i wanna be jumping on piles of fallen leaves too mane 😔🙏 dress up cute ‘n stuff. i will be showing up everywhere lookin like rory gilmore 💯 everytime i see an autumn grwm i gotta stop myself from kicking and throwing a tantrum cs i don’t live somewhere with the four seasons 🤸‍♀ -20°C weather is insane i would literally drown myself in boiling water 🧘‍♀

the thought of changjin bickering IS SO FUNNY like those two istg. . . love how hyunjin rejects every single one of changbin’s affections LMAO i always laugh at them. binnie in the samsung ad got the girlies going CRAZY LIKEEEEE. . .

i get the desire to be loved tbh. likeeee feeling loved is so nice but at the same time i feel like i have no mental span for a relationship anymore 💀 i am so busy during the times i am in campus so having a bf wud probably be disastrous for me.

u need to come bowling with me i Will defeat u 💯 LMFAOOO. or maybe you, too, will find out that ure actually a hidden bowling prodigy. u never know ykyk. also yeah timezones are so odd but it is somewhat painfully endearing. . . ? just two people doing opposite routines but still being able to be friends at the same. isnt that so cute omg. i’m sorry your day was crap my love, here i giv u minho pics to hopefully make ur day today better than yesterday’s!!

mwahmwah sending u my love sweetheart <3

[lightspren]

thanks for the tag @zeromorph !!

tagging a few people but absolutely no pressure, and if I don’t tag you but you wanna answer feel free!! @cephalopodvictorious @wendelbarge @cedar-phoenix @unthinkingclunk @iwishiwasatraveler

What book are you currently reading?

Dawnstar by Rachel Dugan! it’s the second book of a pretty good fantasy romance series.

What’s your favourite movie you saw in a cinema this year?

literally could not tell you the last time I saw a movie in theaters. I think it was pre pandemic? Truly do not know. I’m hardly much of a movie person anyway, they’re too damn long anymore. I like being able to be at home and pause them when I get too restless.

What do you usually wear?

for work days, dress pants and a nice top, often button ups or nice sweaters in winter. out of work, jeans and tshirts mostly. sometimes when I’m feeling it I’ll wear skirts, because I love skirts, but I have to be in the mood.

How tall are you?

5’6.5”! and I claim every last half inch damn it.

What’s your star sign?

Aries!

Do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

Nothing of note that I’m immediately aware of.

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Online, Kit is a nickname i adopted when I was 13 lmao. Offline I go by the short version of my real name, so nickname I suppose.

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

Child me wanted to be a biologist, then an artist, then a vet, and late teenage me wanted to be a psychology researcher. so not at all LOL. One day I might like to go to school again for biology/botany, but that’s a long way from now if ever. Right now I’m happy where I am in tech support.

Are you in a relationship? Who is your crush if not?

Yep, been married for 7.5 years (and in a relationship with him since we were 14, which is essentially half our lives, which is… wild, to say the least. I got rly lucky on that front lol)

What’s something you’re good at versus something you’re bad at?

Good at: fixing computers/technology in general, baking, problem solving in general. Bad at: making friends and keeping my house clean

Dogs or cats?

Both!! I only have cats right now but I still one day would like a dog. I don’t know if we’ll be able to with our current cats though because Mist is scared of dogs and idk if it’d be fair to him. I really want a shepherd or cattle dog or corgi though, herding dogs are my favorites. Or a rottweiler mix because I adored the rottie mix I grew up with.

What’s something you’d like to create content for?

Uuuuuuhhhhhh Zelda maybe? I’d still love to make a good Zelda and Link cosplay for myself one day. Or Cosmere, that’s my other big all consuming interest. I don’t really do art though or fanfic writing or anything so.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

At the moment, Zelda lol. I’ve been replaying breath of the wild to manage my obsession and excitement wrt tears of the kingdom

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

We essentially got no snow and I’m still mad about it. My last hope is we get a freak snow storm in March again like we did last year.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I’m really good with direction and can usually mostly remember how to get to or from a place if I’ve gone once

Are you religious?

I’ve become increasingly comfortable with the term agnostic. Sometimes I’ve wanted more but usually I’m good saying “I think there’s probably a higher power but I can’t really know” and leaving it at that.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

more fucking sleep. 100k free dollars a year so i can go back to fucking sleep. prescription grade cough syrup. new lungs.

[wooahaes]

thank you for the tag @twogyuu !!

rules: post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

oof okay so this one is already gonna be hard because... everything on this blog rn was released in the year 2022. idk how many fics that is, but its a ton.

also sorry you can tell when my mood seriously dropped off during this

5 works i’m most proud of from 2022

under the sun: yes, i know she’s not finished yet. i debated including her because of it, but i’m genuinely proud of what i’ve written for UtS so far!! hopefully i’ll finish the fic next year, thank you all for bearing with me as i finished off school since that too precedence over most things (+ sometimes i just need a break from longer projects like UtS), i’m hoping to have wonwoo’s part out soon! but i think there’s a lot in this fic that i’m definitely in love with, primarily the world building. i feel most in my element when i work on UtS and the vaguely supernatural background it has, all wrapped up with a sweeter romance in most cases. without spoiling anything, i’m genuinely excited to eventually get to cheol’s part. whether the series ends with his part or continues on to a different title for the alternate ending, i feel like cheol’s part functions as something encompassing a lot of what this series means.

lonely hearts club: ah, lhc. my beloved. i genuinely have such a soft spot for wonwoo, and this is actually a series written in full! its been a while since i’ve done one of those lmao. i think my writing has come a way since i wrote lhc, and i think if i were to rewrite it, there’s things i’d add in--but she has a special place in my heart nonetheless. writing wonwoo as someone who is soft and loving is genuinely just something i enjoy because i feel like i rarely see it sometimes. he’s just a big ole softie who’s quiet and i love it about him.

sweet night: another unfinished one, i know, but... i think there’s parts of sweet night that i genuinely enjoy writing a lot. i think it’s pretty telling how every fic i’ve listed so far is pretty damn plot heavy (because genuinely that is what i love writing!!) and this one is no different. plus, i think this one has a special place for me because it’s technically a collaborative piece with several anons from a mutual’s blog (if you see this, hi sol! hi anons! thank you again for giving me permission to write this fic!) and i think collaborative works are fun. but there’s also some heavier emotions that i do like addressing. 

a mermaid’s kiss: a short one! but i do love her. idk i just love vague mermaid lore and joshua was a rly good fit for this au.

enouement / singing in the rain: ok so im linking both of these here bc SitR is a retelling of enouement as a skz fic. idk why i was abt to say both of these flopped when they did decent. i guess i just don’t hear much feedback on either of them? they both have a special place in my heart. enouement was the first long fic i posted and one i was excited to write, while the other was just one that i have some lines in that i really like.

4 current WIPs for the new year

the rest of under the sun + [potentially] shadow: ok im cheating here but genuinely i’m excited to eventually finish UtS and hopefully still have the juice to write what i’ve been titling shadow! it’s the alt ending, name currently pending.  just assume any series i haven’t finished, i’m hoping to finish next year.

i can’t run away: a vernon fic that feels kinda venty. it’s angst with no happy ending. title also might change a little, but i do like keeping it as it is now.

[WORKING TITLE ALERT] 88/134: a bang chan fic! its another chubby!fem!reader long fic because i can’t be stopped. might change the title later, but it was a reference to apparently how long it takes people to fall in love (men 88 days, women 134 according to a study i have linked on the google doc)

topsy turvy: both versions even though one will be titled differently!! :)

3 biggest improvements

honestly? just motivating myself to write in general. sometimes i hit dry spells, sure, but i’ve been getting better about forcing myself to sit down and write most days.

idk i just feel like i’ve found my style a bit more. focusing on emotions within a plot just fits into what i enjoy writing the most.

properly planning things (most of the time) and sticking to writing out those plans. trust me when i say i never used to plan things out.

2 resolutions

writing the full goddamn fic before posting it OR at least finishing all the plans first.

write more for non-svt groups. please.. @ myself this blog was started for svt AND trsr.

1 favorite line

ughh i think i usually end up having multiple lines that i like in fics so i’ll just pick one at random:

If eternal love took the form of a person, then that truly was you. You’d always have one part of his love tied to you, no matter how far away he went. That was the funny thing about love: you gave up parts of yourself for someone else. Wonwoo might always see you in the books he’d read, in the stores he passed, in the world itself. One day the pain would fade, but his love would always rest with you whether you knew it or not. He tried to think of what the Twitter account would say. Part of him wanted to message it, even if the person running it was on a break. But what could they say to comfort him? That it was okay to be hurt, that they were sorry for encouraging him? That love was a leap of faith and sometimes you fall but it’ll all be okay?

They said falling was the best part of love. If it was, then the impact of hitting the ground was the worst.

(from pt.10 of lonely hearts club)

i will simply mention some ppl and no one has to do it if they don’t want to @junkissed @thepixelelf @husbandhannie