#still feels a little surreal that its been almost 5 years since then

[blueywrites]

Where you and Steve swing with Eddie and Chrissy, and it gets complicated.

TO KNOW YOU'RE MINE (modern!swingers!au) (18+ only)

eddie munson x chrissy cunningham x steve harrington x you

fem!reader, chubby!reader, minimal use of y/n, body insecurity, swingers.

chapter two: the lion's roar (11k) | playlist | AO3 | next

🎵 in this au, deftones=corroded coffin. the playlist is a combination of R's sad girl music vibes and some foreshadowing. songs for this chapter include #3-#5. all songs are mentioned by name except for Chrissy's song, which is Tinashe's 'No Drama.'

And I’m a goddamn fool, but then again, so are you

And the lion’s roar, the lion’s roar

Has me seeking out and searching for you

And I never really knew what to do

The Lion’s Roar — First Aid Kit

It's a typical Thursday evening in late February. Dusk light filters through the gauzy curtains covering the one wide window behind the big couch, the window that always casts a glare on the television when you and Steve try to watch Netflix together on lazy Sunday mornings. You have a candle burning on the coffee table, and vanilla and rose now envelop your apartment, filling each corner and cranny with cozy lushness. The couch awaits, ready for you to pour a glass of white wine before folding yourself into its plush comfort to enjoy the peace at the end of your work day.

It's a typical Thursday evening in late February, but it isn't, really. It isn't typical at all.

Steve had been nearly ecstatic when you told him the morning after your double date that you were willing to try swinging with Chrissy and Eddie, and the process had moved along quickly from there. Just as the initial discussion of the topic had felt almost like a dream, it was utterly surreal when you'd all sat down for coffee together, tucked into the corner of a coffee shop, talking over what the arrangement would look like as other cafe patrons ordered their lattes and worked their remote jobs while eating scones. The naughtiness of discussing the details of your plan to swing together in public had been strangely thrilling after the initial surreality wore off. Maybe that's part of the reason people do it, you'd realized, feeling a little like you were back in school, conspiring with your friends during study hall about how you would sneak out of your parents' house and drink in the woods together that night. Except, now, you weren't figuring out the logistics of stealing liquor from your dad's cabinet. You were laying out expectations for when and how you would fuck each other.

The rules were stipulated as follows. First, you'd only engage in sexual acts when you were all together since the arrangement wasn't for you to have open relationships— it was for mutual play that everyone could enjoy. Second, the guys would only finish inside their own girlfriends for the practical reason that, in the event of birth control failure, they wouldn't accidentally impregnate someone they weren't in a relationship with. You'd been on the pill for years, and Chrissy has an IUD, so the risk is minimal, but the group consensus was that the precaution was reasonable and sensible. You'd all also been willing to get tested for STIs simply for peace of mind.

So the rules were agreed to, and tests were taken; and when everyone had received a clean bill of sexual health, you'd all chosen a typical Thursday evening in late February to begin your first foray into this new world of sexual debauchery.

Now, Steve watches you from the bedroom's threshold, fists on hips as your hands flutter over the pillows on the loveseat, fluffing them back into shape before dropping them with hasty plops against the cushions. You spin, eyes darting over the interior of your apartment, searching restlessly for anything that may still be out of place. But you've already tidied up the kitchen island, migrated your haphazard stacks of books back onto their proper shelves, bought the grapes and the crackers and the artisan cheese, and buried your Nintendo Switch back into the decorative ottoman that conceals it from company. Steve had been in charge of drinks, and he'd set the hard liquor out on the Formica counter like a college kid's makeshift bar. You'd also let him choose the Spotify playlist because having to make yet another decision in your current state might actually put you over the edge. Plus, you doubt that your typical musical selection would set the proper mood for the evening. 

Most people don't wanna listen to mournful folk when they're trying to get it on with their boyfriend's friend. In front of their boyfriend. While their boyfriend is getting it on with his friend's girlfriend.

Steve's hands are suddenly on your shoulders, and you realize that you've been squeezing the crap out of one of the pillows. "Honey, you've gotta relax," he coaxes, voice kind but tinged with exasperation. "Show the pillow some mercy."

You drop it back onto the big couch with a remorseful grimace, smoothing it out with little brushes of your fingertips before turning and facing your boyfriend. "Are you sure I look okay?" you ask, searching his face for any hint of judgment as his eyes do yet another cursory scan of your body.

You'd chosen the outfit carefully, tearing apart your closet and reassembling it before Steve had returned home from work, none the wiser to the way you'd agonized over the decision. You'd wanted something that looked nice but not too dressy; something comfortable but flattering; something that said, 'I am totally at ease with myself and this situation, and I'm ready to have some fun!' You'd settled on a pair of tight high-waisted jeans that are slimming and make your ass look good, and though you're feeling a little exposed at the way your stomach is on display, you'd paired the jeans with your favorite cropped baby tee that flatters your breasts. You'd decided to forego jewelry aside from some dainty earrings and finished off with light makeup: blush to give yourself a healthy glow, mascara, and some tinted lip balm. You'd decided against gloss since, well. Thinking about why gloss wouldn't be advisable fills you with a potent mixture of nerves and, you can't lie, a tiny flutter of anticipation.

When Steve finishes his brief assessment of your outfit, you don't find any judgment on his face, though he does look slightly pained as he reassures you again. "You look fine, babe. You look good." He sighs, scratching at his eyebrow. "You've really gotta relax, though. You're kinda stressing me out."

You pout, lower lip poking out as your eyes go soft. "Sorry," you say, and Steve pulls you in for a hug, solid arms cradling you close. You bury your nose in his crewneck, breathing salty citrus cologne as he rubs your back until you relax against him. 

"It's okay," he says, muffled against your hair before he drops a kiss on the side of your head. He steps back so he can look at you but still holds your elbows, lips stretching in a reassuring smile. "It's gonna be fine. You don't have to be nervous."

You take a deep breath, letting it out slowly through your nose. "Okay," you say, expressing agreement even though someone telling you that you don't have to be nervous has never actually served to make you less nervous in your entire life. Still, you flash a quick smile at Steve, pulling out of his light grip. "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom."

"'Kay," he says, sinking down onto the couch and disturbing the arrangement of pillows you've just fluffed as you shuffle off into the powder room. 

You close the door behind you, the smooth R&B playing over your Bluetooth speakers more muted behind the wood. It's peaceful in this room, small and compact, and you take another bracing breath as you look at yourself in the mirror. You look good, you remind yourself, running fingers through your hair. This isn't like going to a party in college and wondering if the guy across the room thinks you're pretty. Eddie already said he finds you attractive. There's really nothing to be nervous about. And, truthfully, you don't know why you're so uneasy about this, aside from the fact that it just seems… illicit. Like something you aren't supposed to be doing. 

But does that really matter when we’ve all agreed it's something we want to do? Who cares what anyone else would think?

You huff an impatient breath at yourself, a little fed up with your constant overthinking and worrying as you sit down to pee. As you do, your new panties, the lacy blue ones that match the bra you'd bought for the occasion, seem to stare at you from the cradle of your dark jeans. You're suddenly confronted with the fact that Chrissy and Eddie and Steve could all be seeing you in them soon, that Eddie might be peeling them down your thighs before the night is over. And the sight of them makes the situation so real that the haze of nervous unease in your chest expands, creeping farther until it freezes in your lungs.

You wash your hands quickly, avoiding your reflection in the mirror this time. And then, as you emerge from the bathroom, you hear a knock at the front door.

Your heart skips and thuds as Steve pushes up from the couch, and you only have a brief moment to decide whether you should join him or hang back. You choose to join him, and you both end up standing side-by-side in front of the door like a pair of reverse missionaries as he pulls it open, revealing Eddie and Chrissy.

There's a chorus of voices as you see the other couple: Steve's "Hey!", bright and casual; "What's up, man," Eddie's smoky timbre answer; and Chrissy's eager "Hi!", chirped as she reaches for you before you can even offer your own greeting.

You're enveloped by thin arms and soft, slouchy sweater as Chrissy embraces you tightly, stepping in front of Eddie, who waits in the doorway. "Your place is so cute, you guys!" She says over your shoulder, and you smile through your thank you as you gently pull back. 

She hugs Steve next, and while she does, your eyes flick over Eddie— over the gray sweatshirt under his denim vest, over the tight black of his signature ripped jeans, over the thumb slung casually in his pocket, knuckles ruddy over chunky rings. His dark curls are pulled into a lazy bun at the nape of his neck, shorter pieces brushing his jaw. His whole visage tonight is more relaxed than when you'd seen him on stage and afterward— absent leather and chains but still edged with that characteristic intensity evident in his dark boots, pierced ears, and the tattoos peeking from his pushed-up sleeves. 

As Chrissy lets Steve go, the guys pull each other into a one-armed hug, hands clapping a bit too hard on each others' backs as men are wont to do. It allows you to gaze at Eddie's face— soft nose, deep brown eyes, long lashes, sharp jaw, and full pink lips, which are pulled into an amiable grin as he meets Steve's gaze and their arms drop.

It's nearly a revelation, the fact that you're allowed to admit it to yourself: Eddie looks really fucking good. And as you acknowledge it, you feel your cheeks heat with what you're sure is a visible blush. It only makes your previous nerves flutter harder, moth wings kicking wildly in your stomach even as squirmy nervousness roils in your chest. 

And you haven't even acknowledged each other yet. 

Oblivious or mercifully without comment regarding the sudden color in your cheeks, Chrissy slides by you, blue eyes bright as she takes in your decorating. Steve follows her further inside, and absently, you hear him offer her something to drink.

As Eddie steps through the doorway, he finally meets your gaze, dark eyes just as piercing as you remember them— too piercing to keep from glancing away almost by reflex, though you bring them back to him after only a brief departure. You realize then that you should probably say something. 

"Hi." The greeting comes out soft and shy, but he doesn't seem to mind; a corner of his lips pulls into a crooked smile as he hears it, one that you find utterly charming. 

"Hi." He echoes you, though he's not at all shy as he edges forward into your space. And it would be weird not to hug him when Chrissy hugged you and Steve, wouldn't it? 

So you do— you lift on the balls of your feet, painted toes digging into the carpet as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. Your face ends up pressed against the hood of his sweatshirt, his hair tickling the edge of your cheekbone, and as your favorite cropped baby tee rides up with your reach, Eddie's warm forearms wrap around the small of your back. You feel the brush of his fingers against your bare sides; they're calloused, roughened, you suppose, by manual labor and dedicated nights pouring out on stage like the first time you'd seen him. And as the rasp of his touch drags against your skin, your breath catches on smoke and musk and apples, fluttering nerves intensifying so quickly that you have to withdraw, lest you become entirely overwhelmed.

In truth, the hug had lasted maybe three seconds. Still, you feel it linger even after Steve has completed his role as dutiful host: provided drinks for your company, passed a glass of wine into your hands, and sat next to you on the loveseat, arm around your waist but body angled towards your guests. You're perched on the edge of the cushion, legs crossed at the ankles, grateful for the wine and Steve's grounding presence beside you, but it isn't enough to entirely ease the freeze inside your chest, that haze of nervous pressure that's still tight behind your sternum.

"So—" Steve breaks the silence, tone relaxed and conversational but with a hint of a smile. "Have you heard from Henderson yet?"

You watch as Eddie shakes his head fondly, leaning elbows on knees, tumbler filled with amber liquor dangling loosely from his fingers. "Kid's gonna be the death of me, Steve. I swear."

Steve smirks without malice, leaning back as he eyes his friend knowingly. "I take it he tried roping you in, too, then?"

Chrissy's nose wrinkles as she looks back and forth between the two. "What's Dustin trying to rope you into?" she asks, and Steve motions loosely for Eddie to explain, taking a casual swig from his glass as Eddie starts to talk.

It's not a subject of conversation you can add much value to— of course, Steve has mentioned Dustin Henderson often, and you've met him a couple of times now, but you don't share the familiarity the rest of the group seems to have with him. Your eyes dart back and forth as the conversation bounces from person to person, but after a while, you settle into your silence, content for the moment just to observe, offering an occasional laugh or head nod at the appropriate moments as you drink your wine.

As the conversation shifts to new topics, dry sips of wine tart on your tongue, it strikes you suddenly: Eddie's foreignness, his strangeness to you. He looks so out of place among your fluffed pillows in a way that Chrissy does not, even though he's leaning back against your couch and spreading his legs like he's been here before, taking up space in your home. He's so conspicuous, dark jeans and hair sucking in all the light in the room until you can't look away. And as you watch him talk, his black and his white are clear to see. Eddie is rough and jagged as he speaks with his hands, sharp with barking laughter, quirked brows, and wide, manic grins. But the dimple of his cheek, the kiss of his bangs against his forehead, the brown of his eyes— they're nothing but soft, belying something gentle inside, something that can't be concealed beneath all his layers of leather and chains, of smoke and ink. You can see it, that gentleness, but you don't know it. It's not familiar. He's not familiar.

And when, in the midst of a theatrical recounting of some event from the past week, Eddie's gaze flits to yours— attention all focused on you like the light he's sucked from the room is shining in those dark eyes— you feel that tug again, deep in your belly, and it flutters the smoke. 

It makes you nervous.

As your unease refuses to subside, the taste of the others' light laughter turns ashen in your mouth, and you're no longer able to sit still— you need to move, to do something to distract yourself from it. Remembering your snacks— your grapes, crackers, and cheese— you pull from Steve's light grip, rising from the loveseat and carrying your wine glass with you. The music grows louder as you approach the speaker on the island, covering the sound of their continued conversation in the living room and bringing some relief as you recede into the safety of the kitchen. You tip your head back and gulp the rest of the dry wine, ignoring how the tartness makes your lips pucker, focusing instead on the warmth as the alcohol settles in your stomach, thawing the edge off that nervousness on the way down. 

Clinking your empty glass onto the counter, you bend to grab a platter from one of the lower cabinets near the fridge, nearly startling when a low voice speaks from above you.

"Need some help?"

You glance up to see Eddie towering a short distance away, narrow hip leaning against your kitchen island, hand shoved casually in the pocket of his dark jeans. You straighten up with the platter, sliding it onto the island between you, eyes darting from his face to the cabinets behind you. "I'm just getting snacks ready," you explain quickly, reaching high for the box of crackers on the second shelf of an overhead cabinet, fingertips just skimming the cardboard. Your cheeks heat as you wag your fingers faster, tension growing with the awareness that Eddie is watching you fumble, tiny desperate nudges just pushing the box further from your grasp.

"Well, let me help you," Eddie replies, a hint of a laugh in his voice as he moves closer. You sigh, a quick sharp exhale of resignation as you stop reaching, holding carefully still as you feel him move closer behind you, heart thumping with renewed nerves at his approach. But what you're half–afraid of— that this is some covert attempt to make a move on you, to press his body up against the length of yours— doesn't come to pass. Instead, Eddie keeps a respectful distance, ringed hand plucking the box easily from the crowd of its brethren in your cabinet, stepping back from you as soon as he does. You turn to see him placing the box next to the platter, throwing a quick glance at you as he asks, "Want these on here?"

You blink as the rise of your nerves settles back to its baseline, swallowing to wet your mouth. "Yeah," you reply, voice blessedly even. "I have cheese," you mention, implying that he should leave some room for it as you open the fridge, reaching into the crisper drawer. "And some grapes."

"Cool," you hear him say, and it strikes you as a somewhat odd response coming from someone who is, in your estimation, actually cool. The concept that this hot frontman of a rock band would actually find your adult-ish party snacks cool is nearly enough to make you giggle with bemusement, leaving you wondering until you hear a rush of crackers tinking against ceramic behind you.

Turning back around, you see that Eddie has upended the box of crackers and dumped it entirely onto the platter. Your bemusement turns to incredulity as you eye him, dropping the cheese and grapes a little too heavily onto the counter beside him. He takes in your expression, eyes darting from your face to the platter as you stare at him. "What?" He asks, seeming genuinely baffled as to why you're looking at him like that. "Did you not want them on there?"

"No, I did," you say carefully, slowly, fighting against the amused smile twitching on your lips as his wide eyes blink at you. "Just maybe not that many crackers." He looks back at the platter again, and you add, "and maybe not in a pile. More, like, in rows…"

"...Got it," Eddie says, and you can't help the light snort that escapes as he scoops the crackers up messily into his hands, funneling them back into the box as you take out a knife to slice the cheese into thin rectangles. When he notices you laughing, you think he might say something, but Eddie stays quiet, though a corner of his lips curls in a little self-deprecating grin as he reduces the load of crackers to a reasonable volume.

You both work quietly on your tasks, the sound of R&B flowing between you in place of exchanging words. You slice the cheese diligently, though you also sneak little glances as Eddie arranges the crackers into a semblance of order on the platter, brown eyes squinty, the tip of his tongue peeking just slightly between his lips as he tries to keep his touch delicate. A sudden bright laugh cuts through the music, and you look back into the living room to see that Steve has migrated from the loveseat to the big couch beside Chrissy, sipping his drink as she throws her head back, delighted at something he's said. Her beauty strikes you— strawberry-blonde waves cascading to her collarbone, sweater slouching casually to reveal one creamy shoulder, plush sweatpants like velvet as she tucks one leg beneath her. She leans comfortably against the back of the couch, covering her mouth daintily with one manicured hand as she continues to laugh. It seems effortless, the way Chrissy carries herself, the way she dresses— like she's never had to tear her closet apart, agonizing over what she's going to wear a moment in her life.

Chrissy's blue eyes seem to sparkle as she leans forward, talking enthusiastically with your boyfriend as she rests a hand lightly on his wrist. And you don't feel jealous because you'd known what this night was going to become; it's not surprising that she'd be touching Steve like that. But you do feel that icy haze of unease spread in your chest again as you watch them. Because that tiny, insistent voice in the back of your mind, the one that never entirely leaves you, starts to catalog all the ways you differ from her. 

"Hey." Eddie's voice is quiet beside you, and you suck in a quick breath, eyes darting to see him looking at you, hands now motionless and hanging at his sides. And that gentleness you'd seen in him from across the living room— it's there in his dark eyes again, in the concerned tilt to his mouth, the little wrinkle in his brow. "You don't have to do this, you know. If you don't want to."

His words are like that rush of dry wine as it slid down your throat, making the ice start to drip and melt. There's no judgment in his expression, no sense of disappointment you can detect in the set of his features. And, in fact, Eddie looks so sincere and serious that your eyes don't dart away from his gaze. 

It’s then that you become aware of how near your bodies are to each other. You find it strange to be standing so close to a man you don't already know, like each hair on your arms is standing on end with the awareness of his foreignness. But he doesn't try to touch you, and he doesn't move away, either. Eddie just lets you look at him. It feels like permission, his patient stare, so you take him up on his offer. You allow your eyes to run over his face. 

This close, that uncanny feeling from before is even stronger— the sense that Eddie's features are unfamiliar. So you start to learn them: the shadow on his upper lip, the little lines in the corners of his brown eyes, a silvery scar on his chin like he'd split it open before. You wonder how that happened. Your eyes drift down from his face to the pale column of his throat, and there's some razor burn on the side of his adam's apple. 

During your examination of him, Eddie has regarded you calmly, waiting for your response without pressing for it. That ice melts further, trickling down to stir the smoke in your belly, to drip into that buried place inside. 

Eddie smells like musk, like tobacco, weed, and delicate apples, and this time, you let yourself breathe him in, using that breath to ground you. When you're ready, you don't speak to his chest or throat. You meet those dark eyes, letting them tug at you as you tell him the truth, voice soft but sure. "I'm nervous. But I do want to." 

And then you smile at him, moth wings quivering in your belly as he smiles back.

-

Eddie offers to carry the loaded platter into the living room for you, but you kindly decline. Still, you use the opportunity to express your gratitude before you rejoin the others.

"Thank you," you say, eyes holding his without darting away. A faint blush rises as his cheek dimples with a kind smile.

"No problem," he replies, and you think— you hope— he knows it's not just for helping with the party snacks.

You place the platter on the coffee table, sitting on the couch next to Steve as he reaches immediately for a slice of cheese, popping it into his mouth. His hazel eyes are bright with the fizz of alcohol and enjoyment of company, and you grin at him, pinching his cheeks and pecking him on the lips before he's even swallowed. He smiles back at you closed-mouthed, fingers finding your knee and giving it a fond squeeze as you lean forward to catch Chrissy's eye.

"I never got to ask you how your test went the other week," you say, warming at the way she perks knowing you'd remembered. "Did you get your grade back yet?"

"Yeah!" she replies, lips stretching with a smile, all soft and powdery and pleased. "I was so nervous going in, but Steve really helped so much. I ended up with a B!"

You brighten with the news. "That's great!" You reach for a grape, cold skin smooth and round between your fingers as you ask, "Are you taking any other classes right now?"

Chrissy leans towards you as she starts to explain the classes she's taking, and you slant closer to Steve to hear her from across his lap, eyes trained on baby blues.

"Steve—" Eddie isn't trying to interject, voice low and quiet as he leans back behind Chrissy to catch your boyfriend's eye. Your gaze flits to him briefly before returning to her, long enough to see him jerk his chin to indicate Steve should come with him. The couch shifts as they get up, and you slide closer to Chrissy, crossing your legs as you lean back against the couch. She mirrors you, eager to continue your discussion. Her sweetness rivals the fruit bursting on your tongue as she asks you about your work; you explain a little about your job, where you've been working as a medical assistant at a small pediatric doctor's office for the last two years. Chrissy gets excited then, asking you if you have any cute— or crazy— patient stories, and you both swap little anecdotes about the Karens you've encountered in each of your health service roles (generally the parents and not the kids, in your case).

Soon though, the guys' absence becomes conspicuous; as you glance around for them, you joke, "What do you think the men are conspiring about?"

Chrissy huffs a cute little snort through her nose, slanting you with a look tinged with knowing wryness. "Probably planning out how to get us out of our clothes the fastest," she replies, lips curving in a little sardonic grin not directed at you but meant to be shared with you. 

You smile back, trying to be casual and match her energy, but the reminder of where this night is supposed to head has those nerves freezing in your chest again. You resist a squirm as the guys finally emerge from the bedroom, and knowing where they'd gone doesn't help quell the uneasiness that's beginning to spread again. But Eddie diverts from the couch to head into the kitchen like he's on a mission, and when Steve sinks down on the other side of you, you see that, curiously, he's holding a deck of playing cards.

Steve leans forward, dropping the cards onto the coffee table and hefting up the platter, moving it to the side table instead. He blows out your candle, and as you see that his intention is to clear space, you assist, setting the potted plant and the round decorative tray with its contents underneath the coffee table and out of the way.

"Where're your plastic cups, Steve?" Eddie calls from the kitchen, hands reaching for cabinet doors that bounce back slightly ajar as he moves from one to the next.

"Over the sink!" Steve's voice is a little loud in your ear as he ducks closer to you prematurely, looking like he wants to tell you something. You turn your head towards him, chin tilting down as you look into his hazel eyes, close enough to see all the flecks of green, brown, and amber that make them up. "Eddie told me you're still nervous," he says, voice barely a murmur as he looks at you reassuringly. "It's okay; we're gonna take things slow."

Your eyes melt as you smile, gratefulness blossoming to replace the freeze, and you press a little thankful kiss to the corner of Steve's lips. He seems pleased at your reaction, arm draping over your shoulders and pulling you close against his side as he opens the pack of cards one-handed, reluctant to let you go and make his job easier. You take it from him, starting to tug out the cards, but your hands pause as you see Eddie coming from the kitchen, carrying five plastic cups bunched together in his broad hands. His tongue tip is peeking from his lips again as he walks slowly and carefully, dark eyes trained on the bundle in his hands as you watch him approach.

The knowledge of what he'd done— that Eddie had taken Steve aside to tell him that you were nervous, that he thought you needed things slow— settles inside you like the smoke his husky singing voice conjures, billowing full and rich and heady, now more substantial than before. You can feel it fill you as he reaches the couch; his dark pants, dark hair, and dark eyes are still sucking the light from the room into him, though now it doesn't blind you— it warms you instead. 

Eddie looks a little unstable as he tries to set the cups down, and your hands dart out to catch them in case they fall. But he successfully maneuvers them to the coffee table, pulling one away towards the center as you each take the rest of them.

"What are we doing?" Chrissy asks, peering down into her cup, brows scrunched skeptically as she eyes the drink inside. 

The wicked grin on Eddie's face doesn't seem to make Chrissy feel better whatsoever as he replies, "Playing King's Cup and getting really fuckin' drunk, Chris."

-

Despite Eddie's somewhat ominous introduction to the drinking game, you don't actually get really fucking drunk. Still, by the time you've finished your cup, you're feeling loose and warm and melty as you laugh, cheering Steve on with the others as he chugs back the concoction in the King's Cup to end the game. You're all squished onto the big couch, bodies snug, so it jostles you when he shakes his head with a grimace; he pulls the cup from his lips, shoulders shuddering as his brown waves tremble with the motion. "Eddie, that was absolutely vile," he says, shooting a sour look across you and Chrissy as you lean against her shoulder, arms threaded together comfortably in a display of alcohol-aided familiarity. "What did you put in it?"

"Ah," Eddie draws the sound out, hands motioning wishy-washy in the air, eyes a little hazy now. "Little of this, little of that, you know." 

Steve merely humphs, lips smacking as if to try to dispel the aftertaste. "Alright, new game," he says, eyeing you all with a mischievous crook to his brow as he slumps back, widened legs nudging into yours and pushing you further into Chrissy. He waves his hands in front of him as if presenting a new idea in front of the boss. "I call it… 'Strip or Dare.'"

Chrissy snorts, giggling a little excessively as you humor him. "What's 'Strip or Dare,' Steve?"

Steve leans forward, feigning seriousness as he answers, "Simple, honey. It's like truth or dare, except instead of telling the truth, if you choose strip, you have to take off your clothes."

Your eyebrows raise as you nod slowly, eyes wide as you huff a tiny incredulous chuckle. "So, do a dare or get naked, Steve? Is that what you're saying?" You can't deny that now, pressed between two warm bodies and with your head swimming pleasantly from the alcohol, the idea does cause a slight flutter to burst in your belly. But it also seems like too much all at once— the idea of baring yourself entirely to everyone right now.

Maybe I'm just not drunk enough.

"No, no," Steve clarifies, head bobbing back and forth as he shakes it. "Just take off, like, one article of clothing. A major article," he clarifies, leaning forward in emphasis. "Not, like, your socks or something."

You nod again, glancing at Chrissy and Eddie to assess their reactions. Chrissy grins, eyes eager as she says, "Ooh, sounds fun!" Eddie nods, too, dark eyes flitting to yours for just a moment as he shifts against the couch, nestling in as his knees widen, getting comfortable and taking up more space at the same time.

"Okay," you say, looking back at Steve. "Who's going first?"

Steve's eyes dance around the group before landing on his friend. "Strip or dare?"

Eddie huffs, rubbing his palms along the tops of his thighs, lips twisting against a grin as he pretends to think. "Hm. I dunno, Steve," he says lightly, "think I'm gonna have to strip."

You grin widely as Chrissy cups her hands around her mouth, joining in her whoops and little playful 'ow ow ow's as Eddie pushes up from the couch, walking around the coffee table with an exaggerated swagger. He's really playing it up, biting his lower lip as he rubs his hands together, and his intentional goofiness makes mirth and delight entirely consume any last remnants of your nerves.

"Hold on," Steve says as Eddie grabs the edges of his vest, pulling them out; his shoulders sway impatiently as Steve pulls out his phone, holding out a hand as if trying to ward off the performance. "One second." He taps at the screen, and suddenly the smooth pop playing over your speakers cuts out, replaced by a heavily-processed vocal bass and the tik-tik-hiss of synthesized drums.

Steve's playing 'Pony' by Ginuwine.

"Oh my God—" You and Chrissy dissolve into giggles as Eddie barks a surprised but amused laugh, head thrown back and dark eyes glittering as his smirk goes manic. He pulls the elastic from his hair, shaking his curls like a dog as you let out a hybrid woo-laugh to voice your support, knees drawn to your chest as you and Chrissy curl into each other. He peels the vest slowly from his shoulders, tossing it onto the loveseat, hands dropping teasingly to the hem of his sweatshirt. Eddie flashes just a hint of pale skin and dark hair beneath his navel, smirk widening as his eyes meet yours. You can't help yourself— you hide behind your hand, face flushing bright pink at the playful wolfishness in his stare as your giggles intensify, edged with hysteria. You peek through your fingers to watch him as he reveals more skin little by little, hips swaying jerkily to the beat— attempting to, at least.

For a frontman in a band, Eddie doesn't seem to have much rhythm off the stage. Still, though his motions aren't smooth, you find yourself relishing the reveal of each pale inch of skin, each line and curve of dark ink as they emerge for you to run your eyes over in a silent caress. Of course, you'd seen the whole picture when he was on stage, but from your distance, the tattoos had run together into a continuous tapestry that wrapped his arms and torso, one indiscernible from the next. Your eyes devour them now, picking out pieces as they emerge— a skull, a pair of snakes, a cluster of bats, what looks like it may be a broadsword, a demon, scrawls of text and other little filler pieces that you can't make out, plus one tattoo that disappears beneath the waistline of his jeans. You can't quite tell what it is. 

Unfortunately, your eager appraisal is interrupted when, as Eddie has decided to peel his sweatshirt and white t-shirt off together and tug from the center of his back once they are halfway up his chest, his head and arms get stuck. 

You lower your hand, feeling a smidge of concern as he wiggles and writhes, hips halting their movements so he can focus all his attention on extricating himself from the tangle of his clothing. You hear Chrissy huff beside you as he finally manages to free his head, face emerging pink from effort as it squeezes through the neck-hole of his sweatshirt, his hair scraped back until he yanks the material from the length of his curls to let it plop to the ground. Unphased, Eddie grins, holding his hands out theatrically as if to display himself to his audience of three.

"Sexy, babe," Chrissy deadpans, voice wry with fond exasperation. Though you know she's just lightly ragging on him, you can't share in her exasperation. You're struck by the wild beauty of Eddie's hair as he shakes it back into place, body all black and white again like it was on stage— and now, the cut of his shoulders, the latent strength of his biceps, the tendons of his forearms, the dusting of hair on his chest, the lean curve of his waist, covered by a healthy layer of fat— the sight of it flutters in your belly, stirring up that smoke. You know your smile and your eyes betray your thoughts, but the alcohol is fuzzing in your limbs, the couch is comfortable behind your back, and Steve and Chrissy's bodies are warm beside you, lending silent support. And when Eddie's dark eyes meet yours, his grin widening as he sees you looking, the tension of the contact feels a little delicious.

"All right," Eddie says, and when his eyes release you, you aren't sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed. "Who's next?"

You look around at the others as Eddie flops back into his spot beside Chrissy, not quite willing to offer yourself up. "Chris?" Steve suggests, and Chrissy leans forward, shooting a teasing look at each of you. "Well, I think I'll follow Mr. Rockstar's lead," she says, voice pitched slightly lower than usual. "I choose strip, too."

Eddie grins up at her as she stands, sauntering over with a sensual sway of her hips to the same spot he'd occupied moments before. "Can I get a better track?" Chrissy requests, and Steve purses his lips, looking through his phone again. 

"How about this 'Strip Club Anthems' playlist?" He suggests earnestly, and you can't help but giggle at the absurdity of his puppy-dogishness coupled with the nature of his suggestion. 

"That's just perfect, Steve," Eddie says, voice tinged with warm amusement and just the slightest edge of sarcasm. "Go for it."

Steve doesn't seem to notice, eyes locked on Chrissy's form as the song begins. You watch her, too, realizing quickly that Chrissy has decided to take a different approach from Eddie, eyes bedroom-heavy as she twists her body, running one manicured hand sensually up the soft velvet of her sweatpants. 

She really knows what she's doing.

It's clear that Chrissy feels entirely at ease with stripping in front of Steve and Eddie as she teases her audience with a glimpse of her bra strap before concealing it again, flashing little glimpses of her skin meant to tantalize before she gives them the main course, slowly removing her oversized sweater, folding it almost primly with a saccharine smile bordering on foxy as she drops it to the coffee table. The black lace bra she wears underneath is more aggressive than you were expecting, but you can't deny that she looks beautiful, strawberry-blonde hair curling over the thin, dark straps. Her abdomen is trim and athletic, her skin nearly flawless, and though the size of her breasts is modest, you can tell they're shapely in the cut of her lingerie.

"Enjoy the show?" she asks, voice still pitched a little huskier than usual, and you quickly show your support with 'woo's and 'yeah's, enthusiastic for her as the guys also make noises of appreciation. Because it's not Chrissy's fault that that little whispering voice won't silence itself in your head. She's only ever been friendly and sweet and supportive in the short time you've known her, and you aren't going to make her feel bad just because you can't help but compare yourself.

Chrissy sinks back into the cushions, looking at you with blue eyes shiny from her buzz and that megawatt smile she always hands out without restraint. "Your turn," she sing-songs, and you bite your lip, shyly stuffing your hands between your thighs. 

Maybe you would've chosen strip if you'd gone after Eddie, but trying to follow Chrissy? Discomfort races through your belly as you picture trying to measure up to her performance and you discard the idea almost instantly. "Dare," you say, letting a smile curve at your lips as you say it like you're making a bold choice instead of making the only choice you feel you have.

Steve speaks almost instantly, and you turn to him to see his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Babe, I dare you to let Eddie take a body shot off you."

You blink, face pinking immediately, but you try to keep your voice even as you retort, "Doesn't that mean I'd have to take my shirt off?"

"Yup." Your boyfriend looks entirely unrepentant in the face of your wry expression. 

"So isn't that, like, basically the same as choosing strip?"

"You're the one who chose dare, honey," Steve reminds you, smirking as you shoot him a look. But you're not going to back down now, not after both Eddie and Chrissy completed their challenges without complaint. Plus, you'd known you would likely be removing some of your clothes before this night had begun, which was why you'd purchased your new lingerie in the first place. 

"Okay," you say, getting up from the couch to face Steve. "Where?" 

He jerks his chin toward the rectangular table that serves as both your kitchen and dining table. "Lay out on that. Eddie, what do you want for your shot?"

You look at Eddie then, face pinking further as you see him already staring up at you, dark eyes intense as Chrissy answers for him. "He likes tequila." 

Eddie slants a glance at his girlfriend, dark brow crooking. "Are you trying to get me fucked up?"

She smiles sweetly, drawling, "Maybe…"

You hear Eddie huff good-naturedly as you shuffle past the coffee table, making room for everyone to get up from the couch and migrate into the dining area. You hop up onto your dining table, swinging your feet with little half-nervous, half-excited kicks as Steve pulls a shot glass from the cabinet, filling it to the top with amber tequila. 

You feel a little awkward that Chrissy and Eddie are standing nearby, overtly aware of their gazes as they wait for you to remove your shirt. But as Steve approaches with the shot, you know it's now or never. So you peel your cropped tee off, dropping it beside you as you lay down quickly, hands resting lightly beneath the band of your lacy light blue bra. As almost an afterthought, you unbutton your high-waisted jeans, keeping your eyes on your fingers as you tug the zipper down halfway, parting the fabric to reveal your belly button and provide more space to work with.

"Cute bra!" Chrissy says perkily, and you twitch your lips into a smile as you thank her, voice only a little breathless. 

"No salt, Steve? No lime? What is this?" You hear Eddie's warm, teasing voice over the R&B beat as he moves closer to the table, stopping near your left elbow. Steve stops at your other side, and you look up at him first, eyes darting from the shot glass in his hands to his face, registering the quirked brow as he grins at his friend.

"I can get you salt, but I don't have any limes. You're gonna need to suck it up, man." Steve passes the shot into your fingers as you try not to blush again at his choice of words. You keep your hand as steady as possible as you lower the shot to your abdomen, resting the cold, smooth glass on the skin above your belly button. You keep your fingers lightly wrapped around the glass, the liquid inside wavering but not breaking surface tension as you look up at Eddie expectantly, legs hanging near Chrissy's knees, sides flanked by both men.

Eddie's eyes are bright and wide, a corner of his lips tugged into a little crooked smile as he looks down at your body, and you feel that flutter again at the way his eyes drag over the expanse of your skin on display. "You don't need to hold it, sweetheart," he says cockily, smile tightening to a smirk. "I've got it."

Your eyes widen, but you obey, fingers withdrawing, hovering nearby as Eddie bends at the waist, beginning to lean over you. You hold your breath in anticipation of his nearness, eyes locked on dark obsidian as he watches you while his face draws closer to your skin. 

What you hadn't anticipated, however, is how his loose hair would brush against your skin, the light touch of his curls dragging along your side as he leans all the way down to reach the shot glass.

Two things happen at once.

Though the brush of Eddie's hair is sensual, it is incredibly ticklish against the soft skin of your belly and side, and you feel your abdomen contract as you jerk with the sensation. At the same time, Eddie's lips make contact with the shot glass sooner than he'd expected because of your movement. So you both fumble the glass, tequila trickling into your belly button as you start to laugh; you feel Eddie's hot breath huffing against your skin as he chuckles at the same time that he tries to take the shot, hand grasping for the edge of the table as he half-sputters on the burn of the alcohol. The sound he makes just makes you laugh harder, knees pulling up as he drops his head, shot glass tipping sideways beside his nose as it presses lightly into your stomach.

It's so fucking awkward that it's actually really fucking funny, and you can feel him laughing as your gasps turn more hysterical. "I'm sorry," you wheeze through your laughter, and he pulls his head up then, grinning at you through his own shaking laughter. "I-I ruined your shot," you say, still chuckling as he shakes his head, chin dragging warm against your skin.

"I gotta— hold on—" Eddie chuckles, dark eyes twinkling, full lips pink and pulled into a charming grin that dimples his cheek as he grabs the shot glass, placing it to the side out of his way. "I gotta finish it."

You don't have any time to react before Eddie's mouth is on your skin, lips closing around your belly button as he noisily tries to suck up the alcohol collected there. Your whole body contracts with the force of your laugh, spine raised off the table and legs bent, head thrown back as you peal with unrestrained laughter, nearly embarrassing in its vehemence. 

But Eddie is also laughing hard, shoulders shaking as he husks goofy chuckles against your skin. Your hand lands on the back of his head, lightly holding on to his curls as you laugh against each other, only calming as Steve says, voice warm with fond amusement, "You guys are a total mess." 

"Yup," you say, still giggling, hand leaving the back of Eddie's head to swipe the moisture from beneath your eye. The skin where he'd been resting feels cold once Eddie lifts his head, backing up a step so he can throw his arms wide and bow theatrically. You clap for him, Chrissy and Steve joining in after a moment as Eddie straightens up, stuffing his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.

"And that's how you take a shot," he says, grin wide and manic while you all shake your heads at him fondly.

You rezip and button your pants before sitting up, head swimming slightly with the sudden motion. Still, it can't detract from the buoyant lightness you feel as you hop down from the table, leading the group back to the couch. You realize as you reach it that you'd left your shirt back at the dining table, but you find you don't really care; in fact, you like the way Steve and Eddie watch you as you fall back into the cushions, breasts bouncing slightly in the confines of your bra. Chrissy settles back beside you, wavy hair brushing your bare shoulder as she looks up at Eddie and Steve, who promptly pulls his sweater over his head, brown waves tousled more than normal as he tosses it onto the couch to join Eddie's discarded vest. 

As they stand beside each other, now both shirtless, it's obvious that Eddie is smaller than Steve— less broad-shouldered, a little leaner compared to Steve's firm mass. Steve's chest hair is considerably thicker, too, though somehow, that doesn't make him look more masculine. You think they're both distinctly masculine, though in different ways: whereas Steve is all sturdy solidity, Eddie is lithe, all predatory sharpness. And you realize, also, that you're incredibly attracted to both of them.

As everyone stares at him, Steve looks around at the group, saying blandly, "I didn't wanna be the only one wearing a shirt."

You huff a chuckle through your nose, pointing out, "Well, you could've just chosen strip, then."

Steve grins, running his fingers through his hair, bangs falling over one eye in that perfectly messy way you love so much. "I was gonna choose dare."

Beside you, you feel Chrissy straighten up, and you glance over to see her blue eyes locked on your boyfriend. "Well then," she says, pink lips curved like a shiny bow on top of a present. "I dare you to kiss me, Steve."

With the statement, the energy in the room shifts— the playful atmosphere melts into something more loaded, sticker and thicker as Steve's eyes flick to you. And you know what he's silently asking; you know that this is when everything will officially tilt past that invisible line of demarcation. The line that marks the point of no return— the point where, though it doesn't mean that you are obligated to do this again, you know you can never go back to having left that line uncrossed.

You meet your boyfriend's eyes, and slightly, almost imperceptibly, you nod your permission.

Steve shifts forward then, movements slow and measured, and that dream-like quality from your first conversation returns as you shift over on the couch, making room for him next to Chrissy. He settles down between you, sinking back into the cushions, and your body tilts toward him with the shifting of his weight as he leans towards Chrissy, her blue eyes soft and just a little hazy from the alcohol, like you know yours and Steve's and Eddie's are. You tuck your hands between your thighs, eyes wide as you watch Steve cup her cheek with a gentle hand that you can almost feel on your own face, the gesture so familiar; your heart starts to beat faster in anticipation of what is coming. Steve continues in, and in, and in, closing the gap as Chrissy's hand lightly touches his chest. 

And then you watch as their lips meet.

You blink as if the sight would clear from your vision with the press of your eyelids, but it doesn't. This is your boyfriend of three years, sitting beside you, kissing another girl on the big couch in the living room of the apartment you share, and your stomach does a strange little flip as you watch Chrissy's mouth open, lips pink and wet and pressing closer to Steve's mouth. Beneath the loose warmth of the alcohol in your system, your emotions are tangled, an amorphous, shifting mass beneath your skin. You're left just observing them blankly, entirely unsure how to react. 

A shift of black and white beyond Chrissy draws your attention, and you find your gaze darting from that point of connection between her and Steve to Eddie's brown eyes. A little helplessly, you scan his expression, needing something to inform your reaction— to tell you what you should think, what you should do or say in the face of what's currently happening. And as Eddie looks back at you, face entirely calm as he looks from you to Chrissy and Steve and back again, you can feel the shifting mass begin to soothe, that instinctual rise settling like a wave breaking over the sand, receding back into the ocean. 

As Eddie's calm pacifies you, you find yourself fixating on his dark eyes, long-lashed and depthless, as he looks back at you. You can feel the subtle movement of Steve's body beside you as he kisses Chrissy, the warmth of his bare side nudging against yours as he shifts his head. And then, just as abruptly as it began, the kiss ends. You look away from Eddie as Steve's skin drags against yours once more; he turns, cupping your jaw and pulling you into a passionate kiss.

You sigh into Steve's embrace as his lips meet yours, mouth warm and wet and tasting of alcohol, the familiar flavor of Steve, and the faintest hint of something sweet that you realize probably comes from Chrissy's mouth. Any insecurity you may have felt at seeing Steve kiss Chrissy— any doubt that he may not have wanted you after he'd kissed her— entirely flies from you as he pulls you closer, soft hands firm against the skin of your waist as he leans in, deepening your kiss with insistent lips. You kiss Steve back with equal enthusiasm, a low flutter beginning in your belly that he stokes with the drag of his palm up your back, the press of his thumb underneath your chin to angle your face up for him, and the breathy groan he sighs into your mouth.

Steve kisses you for a long moment, and when his lips draw away, you blink open into comforting hazel eyes, half-lidded and lust-drunk, pupils blown wide as a smile curls on his slick lips. He looks so happy and content that you feel that same contentment bloom within your own body, matching his as you smile sweetly at him, pressing one last kiss to his lips, lingering before pulling away.

You lean your cheek against the back of the couch, resting a gentle hand on Steve's arm. You know that the pretense of the game is over now, and you nod towards Chrissy with your chin— another silent offer of permission that makes Steve's eyes soften before he ducks back to you, kissing you decisively one last time as you smile again.

Steve turns from you then, warm skin shifting once more against yours. You sink back into the couch, letting the repetitive beat of the music wash over you as your limbs relax. You are languid and warm and utterly loose, and a vague smile plays at your lips as you curl your knees up comfortably, perfectly content to rest against the warmth of Steve's body until you feel the couch dip on the other side of you.

When you turn your head, your eyes find Eddie's so easily that it almost feels like instinct. He slings his arm along the back of the couch behind your head, pale skin radiating warmth against your hair, dark tattoos stark and so up close now it's almost dizzying. He's left a sliver of space between your bodies, a tiny polite distance that you promptly close when you roll towards him, lowering your legs, your thighs pressing together through both of your jeans. You rest your head against his arm, and your breath hitches as, for the first time, the skin of your side presses up against his.

Eddie's scent, the warmth of his body, and his sudden nearness are disorienting, and your head buzzes with the stimuli; but when you look up at him, his loose curls brushing your shoulder as he slants his face towards you, all that matters are the gentleness in his eyes and the smoke in his voice as he asks you, voice a hushed murmur, "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes," you breathe, and then he does.

It's odd enough that you're suddenly kissing someone who isn't Steve, but it's so incredibly, acutely bizarre that you can feel Steve's back against yours while another man's mouth descends on your lips. Your heart skips and thuds in your chest, beating a rapid tattoo as warmth surrounds you, the heat of two masculine bodies pressing up against you on either side. Yet when you feel Eddie's thumb drag featherlight over your cheek, the touch so light and delicate, your divided attention becomes no longer divided at all.

Eddie shifts the position of his face as you lean into him, nose brushing yours as he slots his mouth better over your lips. Suddenly, you notice everything: the stubble on his upper lip; the tickle of his hair against your neck; the firm but gentle way his lips move against yours, not pressing too deep, not insisting he take too much; and finally his scent, that smoke incarnate, musky and heady and mixing with delicate apples.

The intensity of the tingling flutters that erupt in your belly makes your spine straighten, pushing your body closer to Eddie's. Moth wings beat a frenzy as he moans into your mouth, a little aborted noise that he chokes back as soon as it occurs, though as you hear it, all you want is to hear it again, to make him do it again. But Eddie pulls back, and the seal of your lips breaks as he sucks in a quick breath through his mouth. You can feel his face hovering nearby, and for one fleeting moment, you're almost afraid to open your eyes, to see his expression or, the addled thought hits you, to discover that you'd imagined this entire thing. 

Despite yourself, your eyelashes flutter open into a face framed by wild curls, a soft nose, full, plush lips blushed pink from kissing, and the most beautiful pair of wide brown eyes you've ever seen in your life. Those eyes dart between yours as if to assess your reaction, to check for any return of the nerves you'd been so consumed by earlier that night. 

But Eddie finds none because there are none. And this time, when you're the one to brush your fingers against Eddie's cheek, you can feel him smile into your eager kiss.

-

Later that night, you lie on the bed you share with Steve, bleary eyes staring at the darkened ceiling and a sleepy smile pulling at your lips as you listen to the shower run in the en-suite bathroom. You and he are alone now; the night's encounter is over. 

As the clock had ticked closer to midnight, things had never escalated— you'd all been content to kiss and cuddle up on the big couch until eyelids grew heavy and yawns became abundant. Eddie informed you all that he was okay to drive, and Steve had permitted it after clasping his shoulders, holding him still to look intently into his eyes, face almost absurdly sober with his insistence that he'd better not dare to get behind the wheel if he's drunk. As goodbyes were exchanged, Chrissy had hugged you just as tightly as she had when she'd arrived, if not more so, dispelling any notion that there may be awkwardness between you after having made out with each other's boyfriends. And maybe it will be different in the morning when you're sober, but right now, at the end of this night, all you feel is genuine happiness.

It seems, for all intents and purposes, that your arrangement is a success.

As you wait for Steve to join you in bed, the screen of his phone illuminates with a notification in the relative darkness of the bedroom. As you glance at it, a sudden notion occurs to you, one that, as you consider it, becomes increasingly more attractive as you think about it. So you roll over to Steve's side of the bed, tapping in his passcode— you both know each others' passcodes, having nothing to hide— and you bypass Steve's notifications, texts, emails, and so forth, intent only on pulling up his contacts list.

You press and drag your finger, letting go when you find the 'E's, eyes scanning until you locate what you're looking for: the contact card for Eddie Munson. You click it, mouthing the numbers to yourself as you roll back to your side of the bed, pulling your phone from its mirrored position on your side table and opening up your text messages.

The message you type to Eddie is simple. You don't include your name or any greeting at all. Instead, you just write, "Lacuna Coil equals," followed by three vanilla ice cream cone emojis out of five. You tap send, then follow it up with a second text: the Spotify link for the song 'The Lion's Roar' by First Aid Kit. 

Intention fulfilled, you plug your phone back in, and, hearing the water shut off in the bathroom next door, you snuggle down underneath your covers. You anticipate the imminent press of Steve's freshly-showered body, which you know will lull you to sleep with its familiar comfort. 

You're half-dozing when your phone vibrates once, startling you awake with a little jolt. You watch to see if it will vibrate more, but it just sits there silently until you snake your fingers out, retracting it into the warmth of your bedsheet-cocoon.

You squint against your phone's brightness, blinking to focus on the notification on your lock screen. It's from an unknown contact, just a string of numbers, but you know who it is without reading them.

Eddie's message says, 'Good lyrics. Too twangy.' He's followed it with two chocolate bars out of five.

You frown, bottom lip stuck out as your thumbs immediately tap-tap-tap against the screen, the vibrations of each keystroke under your fingers making the phone feel almost alive. You send your follow-up argument and then wait for Eddie's response. A tiny wing-flutter accompanies the sight of the three blue dots that indicate he's typing now. His reply pops up soon after, and despite its brevity, a small smile blooms on your lips.

You'd said, 'The vocals are so raw, though. You can feel her pain. I think that makes it worthy of more than two chocolate bars.' 

He'd replied, 'I just really don't like country.' And then Eddie had added one more chocolate bar emoji, saying, 'Final offer for you, sweetheart.'

That dark place, buried deep inside you… you don't know it yet, but its peat is fertile, longing to grow roots. It's yearning for those roots to emerge, to leaf, to blossom up through the center of you and bear fruit.

All it needs is a little light.

[ramspatula]

Zinnias | Lloyd Garmadon x fem!reader | Part 5

Why are big statues coming to life?

Previous part, Masterlist, Next part

It was oddly domestic how we worked. Lloyd would often have to leave at odd times for work and would come back very late or early in the evening. I felt like a housewife. I had no lessons due to it being the holiday but I had way too much work to do as it was. I hated being in this shit hole but it was better than back ‘home’, here I had friends and Lloyd. The tapping on my window made me frown. Lloyd was at work. I peeked out to see green and I grinned, pulling back the blinds and opening the window.

“Hey, homeboy, where have you been?” I asked and his eyes turned from wide, happy to see me to a dull, unamused, stern gaze.

“I regret coming here already.” He said and I smiled, climbing out the window.

“C’mon, don’t be like that. Where have you been?!” I asked and he shrugged.

“I’ve been busy- you’ve been busy.” Green added and I flushed.

“You know about that?” I asked and he nodded, he looked almost smug? From what I could tell from his eyes.

“Personal stalker, remember?” He asked and I nodded.

“Right, forgot about your obsession.” I said and he rolled his eyes. “What are you doing here then?” It’s mid-day? Just because my dorm building only has 3 rooms occupied at the moment doesn’t mean no one can see you. There’s probably some 13 year old losing her mind right now.” I said and he rolled his eyes.

“I’m on my way to the museum- I’ve just took care of our dragon and I was on strict orders to not come until all its shit was picked up so I’m sorry if I still smell. I feel like I can’t wash it off.” Green explained and I frowned.

“You have a dragon?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yeah- the one with four heads- they’re actually right above us if you want to see.” He casually added and I looked up to see the beast staring down at me. I jumped in shock as it bent down and the two centre heads gently nudged me and one blew really cold air on me. I even shivered and that caused the other one to breathe really hot air on me and now I felt over heated.

“That is really cool but I also feel like I’m in shellshock right now.” I said and he laughed.

“Okay, back off, she’ll pet you guys another time.” The dragon- moped? And got down to allow Lloyd on- Green- why do I think of Lloyd every time I see him?! I watched as the green, oddly familiar, green eyes winked at me and I smiled in response. “I’ll see you soon, bro.” He said and I laughed.

“You admit it- I’m a homeboy!” I yelled but he flew off. What a surreal experience.

“Was that a ninja?!” Fuck.

🪺. *. ⋆

The ninjas were smashing so many of these little figures that had come to life, Lloyd’s arrival almost made no difference.

“How many of these things are there?!” Lloyd asked only to be met with another one jumping at him. He thought with his father’s sudden disappearance he would get a moment of peace.

“Look who decided to turn up! We’ve been at this for an hour!” Jay screeched.

“Yeah, I hear you, I got caught up.” Lloyd excused and Cole scoffed.

“Ever since this guy got laid, he’s been a flake!” Cole said and Kai stopped one from hitting Cole in the back of the head.

“Yet he’s doing better than us in training!” Kai added and Cole shook his head.

“Who’s giving you that good of a fuck, it’s excelling your training?!” Cole asked and Lloyd smashed the figure in front of him, sending a mini earthquake through the room, the vibrations causing the figures on the floor to shatter.

“Okay, we get it, you still have your powers.” Kai said and Nya sent a burst of water into a figure about to attack Kai. “You too.” Some stone warrior figures poured marbles below him and Cole’s feet and that seemed to push Kai over the edge. “Alright, play times over!” He yelled before doing spinjitsu. The other 3 following as Lloyd, Nya and Sensei Wu watched, un-approving of their actions as the whole room was now destroyed. However, all the figures with the exception of one were destroyed. Only Wu seemed to notice this, sprinting out the chase the figure when the other ninjas clocked on a followed.

He managed to chase the little figure down and smash it with his foot. Wu didn’t have time to be proud of himself when he heard a familiar heartbeat. His super-hearing had made him memorise heartbeats in the same way his nephew and brother did. But this one he had spent hours upon hours listening to. When the door behind him creaked open, and the heart he knew so well almost rang in his ears, he turned. The first and only woman, Wu had ever loved stood before him.

“Misako?” The name slipping so effortlessly from his mouth.

“Wu.” She said, her voice still as smooth and charming as it had been some time ago.

“I- uh…” He fumbled over his words.

“It’s been a long time..” She added and he nodded.

Her braid still hadn’t changed although it was now covered in grey rather than the rich brown he was accustomed to. Thought of so passionately in his mind. The last time he had even seen her, she was only just starting to grey and had a newborn in her arms. A newborn with red eyes like his father. A newborn who was now an adult and his nephew. Because she had chosen his brother. Married him. And had a child with him. A child she abandoned. Wu was now over aware of who had a hand placed on his shoulder.

“So are you going to introduce us?” Jay asked, trying carefully not to break the moment. Lloyd showed no emotion to the woman and actually chose to eye her with suspicion but she hadn’t focussed on him yet. How would she know it’s him? Lloyd didn’t know her. And Lloyd certainly didn’t look how he was meant to after their 12 year separation. Wu cleared his throat and held the boy’s arm, Lloyd frowned at his Uncle but said no more. His Uncle had a content, almost excited smile on him. It was unusual for any of them to see.

“This is Misako, Lloyd’s mother.” And just like that, Lloyd’s world came tumbling down.

“My mother?!” Lloyd spoke, frozen in his shock.

“Lloyd?” She said, stepping forward. Her smile and tone felt so ironic for a woman who abandoned her 2 year old at a boarding school. “My little boy. You’re so much bigger than I thought you’d be-“ Lloyd smacked his Uncle’s hand away and took a step back. The anger seeped into his veins and did so quickly.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a long time.” He said, moving his arm away from his mother’s attempt at holding his hand.

“I didn’t want us to meet like this. I have a reason why I’ve been away-“ Misako tried to get to her son but he shook his head.

“And I don’t want to hear it.” Lloyd said before storming out. The others were shocked at such a reaction from Lloyd. Most his expected the boy to welcome his mother with open arms with how highly Wu always spoke of her. Garmadon had not spoke so highly, not after learning Lloyd had spent his life in a boarding school. Turns out the over-lord wasn’t pleased to learn his son that he was oblivious to his existence had spent a good 8 years in a boarding school being relentlessly bullied and then homeless at 10. It just wasn’t fair. Lloyd’s whole life wasn’t fair. And now his mother turns up in his life again after 12 years?

He couldn’t take it. He found his way into some room, with a giant pit. And a part of him felt like stepping into it. His mother wouldn’t care but Y/n would. His mind was spiralling. All these memories of mothers days that he had spent alone. How could his evil, tyrannical father care more about him than his mother? Garmadon didn’t know where he was or about him and within the first day of learning about his existence, he had sought his way out the underworld and had moved in with his enemies to kill snakes and reclaim his taken son. The first time they had met after he’d been rescued, his father had broken down. Holding him and spewing so many apologies for being absent when he hadn’t even known he existed. Lloyd held him back because for the first time, he had felt actual love. Like someone cared about him. Now he had grown up, he understood love. What it does to you. How deeply it can affect you when the person you love does something. Which is why Lloyd had always listened closely when Garmadon spoke of Misako. And it wasn’t nicely. It’s funny how a man corrupted by pure evil couldnt understand abandoning his son and only kept Lloyd with Wu because he was destined to be the Green ninja and because he believed that Lloyd would stay at the monastery until he grew up. Garmadon believed Lloyd would be safe. He was not.

“Hey, baby, you alright?” He basked in her voice.

“Is there any way you can make it to the museum right now?” Lloyd asked and he could hear the girl’s confusion on the other line.

“Museum- Lloyd the ninjas are there-! What are you-?!” He loves how concerned she is over him.

“I just met my mother.” He cut her off and she paused.

“I’ll be right there, it’s like a 10 minute walk. Are you okay?” He smiled. Not that she could see it.

“Just, come as quick as you can…” He said and heard her agree before she hung up and he sighed.

🪺. *. ⋆

This museum was a fucking maze. I didn’t even know what room he was in and there was barely anyone here. Lloyd wasn’t responding and I was considering giving up, until I turned around and saw a massive live statue of a stone warrior. It would’ve been cool if it hadn’t started raising its sword at me. I screamed. I’m not afraid to admit it. Before I sprinted. The thing didn’t hit me with the sword but it did make the ground shake which almost made me fall.

“What the fuck?!” I yelled as it was now chasing me?! What the hell?! What did I do?! “No,no,no-“ I screamed again as it almost got me.

“Peach!” Someone called but I didn’t see who. That was before 5 ninjas had jumped down before me. I saw no green in this rainbow and continued running. I heard someone talking, aggressively talking. The doors were closed though but I recognised that voice. I recognised it anywhere. I banged on the door, hearing and feeling as the footsteps got closer again.

“Open up! This massive asshole of a statue is chasing me!” I yelled and the doors swung open and I practically fell into Green’s arms- could’ve sworn that was Lloyd.

“Peach! Are you okay- I never should’ve of told you to come here--!” He looked up at someone cleaning their throat. I saw an older woman with grey hair and a braid, she didn’t look too old though.

“Lloyd-“ I said and his eyes widened.

“What?” Green asked. His hands cupping my cheeks.

“Where’s Lloyd-?!” I asked- almost begged, frightened tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

“He’s okay. You aren’t though.” Green told me and I shook my head.

“No-! I need to find him! It’s serious.” I said, my breathing becoming erratic.

“Lloyd will understand, you’ll see him soon but for now I gotta get you to safety and others because that thing is massive-!” He suddenly yelled at the appearance of the statue and I nodded.

“That was chasing me-!” I yelled and he took my hand, making me sprint with him to another room. The woman followed but I didn’t pay her much attention, I was holding onto Green like a lifeline as we ran away from this thing. We ended up in a large room and I noticed that everyone was here but I couldn’t breathe- I was suffocating. This felt like a panic attack. Green frantically turned to me and held me as I crumbled to the floor. I tried to breathe but I couldn’t.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He repeated, smoothing my hair as I gripped onto him like a lifeline. I suddenly pushed him off and looked around.

“Lloyd-“ I said again but he turned me back around.

“He’s fine, he’s okay, he’s safe. You’re not. We’ve got to focus on you, Peach.” Green told me and he sounded so much like him, felt like him. His hand moved my cheek and I held the side of his neck to support myself.

“Lloyd.” I said, more stern as I looked into his eyes. Those were Lloyd’s eyes, I swore those were his. His eyes widened more and I swore I saw some red in his iris. “Lloyd.” I whispered more harshly, my eyes widening. He shook his head. The red ninja placed a hand on his shoulder but he shrug it off. All the ninja were here? How embarrassing.

“No…” he said, weakly. He seemed so vulnerable right now. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I flinched.

“Maybe now is not the time for this-“ Wu said. Fucking Wu. I grabbed the man before I could think.

“Peach-!” I heard Green say but I stared into the old man’s eyes.

“Where is he?! I know you know.” I watched as his stern eyes drift up to Green who reached out for me again. I looked back to him. “Don’t say-“ I turned around to look at Green again, he looked guilty. “-what the fuck?!” i looked back at Wu who nodded. I let go of the old man away and stalked away from them all.

“It’s best to let her cool off-“ I heard a woman’s voice as I walked away.

“Don’t touch me.” That was Lloyd’s voice. He was Lloyd. Green was Lloyd. Lloyd was the Green ninja. With that thought in mind I felt like collapsing. The world around me slowed and I knew what came next.

But it didn’t matter because soon arms were around me, shielding me as a green force field encased us, the green turned mixed of peaches and purples before I watched as the statues sword glitched and burst after the colours turned back to green. It now had no weapon. Green held onto me- Lloyd held onto me -tighter as the big statue tried to attack the green bubble with his hand. It didn’t break but I could feel as it exhausted Lloyd. His eyes were closed tightly, in focus. I held him back and his eyes seemed to close even tighter before suddenly the statue was running away, chasing something else. Lloyd let the bubble burst and took a moment to catch his breath again. I just sunk to the floor. Staring blankly at where it had left. Lloyd quickly looked from me to the doorway before holding my head in his hands, making me look at him.

“I know you’re confused and that’s okay, I’ll be back soon, stay here, okay?” Was all he said before running off. I didn’t move, I don’t think I could.

Fuck that I could.

I moved to the doorway and watched as they tried to lead him to the big gaping hole in the middle of the floor of one room but it suddenly turned around a charged at some civilian who came running this way. I heard the ninjas protests and sounds of disappointment at their little trap not working. I watched as it now charged at me again. The blast of green energy on its back didn’t even make it falter as it stared me down and stopped, raising its hand. Ready to pummel me into the earth. I only glared up as I heard the yells, watching as the first came back down.

When the world slowed, everything felt so dramatic. I felt so untroubled. Like nothing really mattered. I felt like I could see the ins and outs of the earth and more, something no one else could. But now I just felt hurt, lied to. Somehow, I had really thought I’d bet on a winner only to realise I’m still by the loser’s side. Losing every time with them. At least I feel like I win when I lose. So I let myself feel the loser’s guilt as the fist came down on me. If only I could escape my problems so easy. It would’ve been easy to let that thing kill me. I started, tears in my eyes as the thing was now lodged into the floor. It glitched and got stuck. It would stay like that unless dug out. Only side of its face and some parts of the body could be seen. I climbed over the piece of forearm sticking out and saw the rest of the ninja. I didn’t let my tears fall but I suddenly had a feeling I knew who these ninjas were and specifically who the red one was. I shook my head at him.

“Peach! Peaches!” I heard his voice but I ignored him as I walked away. I was too tired and I had been deceived. I really believe they were separate people even with their uncanny similarities. “Y/n! Please!” I paused at that. The vase on display next to me, glitched. I let him run in front of me. “Thank you… I can tell you everything-“ I shook my head.

“I don’t want to know.”

“Just- come back to the monastery please. I can explain everything- show you!” Lloyd said and I shook my head.

“No.” I said and he sighed.

“Then I’ll come to yours just please don’t walk away.” He said and I let the tears flow, I quickly tired to wipe them. His hand reached up and grabbed my face again, I let him. Trying not to cry more as his thumbs gently wiped away a few tear tracks.

“Green, we need to go-!” Someone yelled but he growled- actually growled.

“No!” He said immediately. “Please, Y/n.” He whispered and I nodded.

“I’ll go with you.” I said and he rested his forehead on mine.

“Thank you, thank you!” He said quickly, desperately, and I let him lead me out the museum. I stayed silent, letting him decide everything for me. I felt numb. Like I had been overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion. And in a way, I had. He quickly pulled a cloth from the gift shop and wrapped it around the lower half of my face, covering my mouth and nose, before pulling my hood up. “To keep your identity secret.” He explained but I just looked up, blankly.

The dragon bowed and lowered its body to me. It gestured with one of its heads towards its back and I realised it wanted me to get on. I looked to Lloyd who lifted me effortlessly onto the shoulder of the dragon’s front leg and I had to grab onto onto the straps of the saddle to climb onto the saddle itself. If it wasn’t for my static state I might of been freaking out about the fact I was on a dragon, actually I was starting to feel a little freaked, that was until I felt Lloyd behind me. After adjusting himself accordingly, he held me closer to his body and grabbed onto the reigns. This thing was about to take off. I grabbed onto Lloyd’s arm around me, tightly. My eyes widened as it spread its wings and took off, it was a large and terrifying beast and it took its time ascending into the air. I pressed myself back into Lloyd who didn’t say anything, just rested his head against my shoulder. I hadn’t looked up from the saddle.

“It’s really pretty up here.” I heard Lloyd said but I ignored him. “I’ve always liked flying more than driving… feels more peaceful. Especially when it’s not really windy.” He said and I relaxed a little, looking up. I couldn’t tell if that was a bad or good thing. It was pretty but we were so high up. I was more interested in the dragon than the scenery. I placed a hand on the exposed white scale and felt as a rumble went through its body. I quickly retracted my hand. “They’re purring, they like you.” Lloyd added and I just nodded. The dragon head with brown outlines let out a long croon and I froze. “They want you to continue.”

“I’ve always loved dragons…” I said and scratched the scales area. The dragon shook almost shifting us too far off, I did not scream. Lloyd didn’t laugh at the fact I screamed. Because I didn’t scream.

“I’ve got you… if I knew you liked dragons, I would’ve got you to meet them sooner.” He said and it came back, the deceit. I could almost get it but it still hurt. I thought I had two new people and it almost feels like I lost a friend. I slumped again, removing my hand.

“You lied…” I said and he fumbled to try and get his words together.

“I didn’t want to… but I had to! I can’t go around saying I’m the green ninja.” He said and I nodded.

“I get that, I do but- but why would you get so close to me?! I thought I had a friend, Lloyd.” I said, hurt evident in my voice and I felt as he held on a little tighter.

“I wasn’t meant to! But I can’t leave you alone, you’re all I think about- I wasn’t meant to get too involved but then the thought of seeing you and not talking to you got to me- and then I found out about your powers-!” He reminded me and I shook my head.

“You were going to try and teach me as another person?!” I yelled and he cringed.

“Yes…” he admitted and I scoffed.

“And I felt guilty about the fact I didn’t tell you about my powers.” I said and he sighed, digging his face into my shoulder.

“I would’ve told you. I wouldn’t have let you find out like this if things were different.” Lloyd said and I paused.

“You called me…” I started and he pressed his head further into the corner of my neck. “You sounded so… so broken. I’d never been so scared, Lloyd.” I said and he nodded.

“I saw my mother and everyone acted like it was this happy thing. Like the woman hadn’t abandoned me and never came back to visit.” He said and I held onto his hand around my waist. We were started to descend now. Lloyd looked up to be able to our surroundings as we went down. “Wu looked at her like she was amazing. Some sort of spectacle. In reality, even my father used to say she was even more of a monster than him for abandoning a baby and not telling the father anything about him.” Lloyd revealed and my eyes widened. The landing was rougher than I thought and he was jumping off as soon as and encouraged me to slide down before he caught me and placed me firmly on the floor. I held onto for a moment as the sensation in my legs came back. We began walking after a moment, taking his hand in mine as he ripped off his mask and I pulled my hood off and makeshift mask too. “She tried talking to me. To explain everything- I didn’t want to know. I don’t want to know.” He added and I just followed him as he led me to a room that was covered in poster and green ornaments and nerdy things. Like Star Wars Lego sets and funko pops. He closed his door after I stepped in and opened his wardrobe. This was his room, I realised. I looked to his bedside to see a picture of a younger version of Lloyd in a smaller green Gi sat next to his uncle with the others in their Gi surrounding the two. They were all unmasked and poor Lloyd has a bowl cut.

“Your barber did you dirty.” I said and he looked at the frame I was looking at and let out a surprised laugh.

“The boys in my old dorm put a bowl over my hair, it was like a mullet- really long, anyway, one day they put a bow around my head when I was asleep and cut my hair. The teachers tidied it up the best they could but because it was boarding school for bad boys, they were rewarded and I just began hating my hair. Luckily, after the tea, my hair had changed drastically and Kai cleaned it up after.” Lloyd told me and I looked back at him, he was now just in his boxers. Pair of trousers in his hands ready to put on.

“I love your hair.” I said and he looked up before smiling, putting on his trousers as he spoke to me.

“With how much you tug it, I was thinking you were trying to rip it out-“

“Okay, Okay! I get it.” I said and pushed him away as he got seriously close. I laughed as he grabbed me and started kissing all over my face and neck. “Okay! I’m sorry, but I do love you hair. It’s softer than mine.”

“It’s not!” He immediately argued but backed off to go put his shirt on. He kicked the Gi towards a pile of dirty laundry, before turning and picking me up, easily. My legs wrapped around him and I let out a surprised laugh. “Being the green ninja means I get a few extra perks, like Cole’s super strength, meaning you don’t weigh anything to me.” He said and my eyes widened.

“That’s how you left my thighs bruised black.” Lloyd cringed at the reminder.

“I’ve not done that since, have I?” He asked and shook my head, kissing him.

“No, I don’t mind, however you do bite.” I said and tilted my neck to expose the bite a little.

“I don’t know where that came from. I think I tried to give you a hickey?” He questioned himself and I laughed.

“With teeth?!” I questioned and he threw me on his bed. He had a double bed. I starfished immediately. “Oh we’re staying round yours from now on.” I said and heard him laugh.

“We’d get zero privacy.” He said and I sighed in relief.

“I don’t care. This bed has made me forget how upset I am right now… that and I want to hear about your mommy issues.” I said and felt the bed dip, he grabbed my ankle and dragged me down the bed. I laughed as I settled in the new position. Putting my legs in his lap. He rested on arm on them, massaging my leg with his thumb.

“Peach… I don’t want to make this about me.” Lloyd said and I frowned.

“Maybe not, but I want to. So speak green boy. Tell me about your life before I leave.” I said and he grinned, amused.

“I realise how much you’re taking in right now, so I’ll give you the summary and we’ll delve into the specifics later.” He said and I nodded. “When I was 10, I left my boarding school and started some trouble here and there, the others had just started their training and were overly cocky and fed up of being called out to deal with ‘Garmadon’ and it being me.” He started and I frowned.

“You started trouble?” I asked, perplexed and he nodded.

“I was a wild kid, wanted to be just like my Dad. Except I was homeless and had no actual power to my name.” Lloyd said and my eyes widened.

“You were homeless?!” I asked and he nodded.

“For like a year before I was forcefully taken in by my Uncle.” He explained and my eyes saddened. “And that was only because my deviance had excelled to releasing the serpentine.” Lloyd told me and my jaw dropped.

“That was you?!” I questioned and he nodded.

“I thought it would somehow make my father proud enough to take me in. But he didn’t even know I was alive. And I was kicked out by each tribe until I met Pythor who I thought was my friend but he just wanted my serpentine tombs map and he deceived me and then tried to push me off the top of my boarding school but he had to run away before he could actually get me far enough to the edge. That’s when my uncle took me in and taught me to never trust a snake.” Lloyd told me and I smiled.

“Hey, I learnt that lesson too! Except it was on my own and with a bitch called Alabama.” I said and he chuckled. “I still don’t forgive that snake.” I said and he rubbed my leg.

“I don’t forgive Pythor either. I was just a kid. A bad one but nonetheless.” He said and I absentmindedly started playing with the hem of his t-shirt. “Then I got kidnapped by him, and my uncle had to go to the underworld to find my Dad to get his help in getting me back. My Dad tried to rip my Uncle’s throat out for knowing about my existence, and the fact I was alone and how he left me there. My Dad still says that my uncle either should’ve brought me to the underworld when my mother left me or took him in himself. Anyway, he saved me and I met him for the first time. It was weirdly emotional, for him at least, I felt nothing which still surprises me. It just wasn’t what I expected.” He told me and I nodded.

“It sounds like your father loves you a lot. Dare I say unconditionally?” I added and he smiled.

“He loves power more.” Lloyd added and my smile fell. “It’s okay, I know what to expect from my father. He came for me, that’s all that matters. A little while later, we go to find a fangblade and it’s in a volcano. Short story short, it starts erupting and Kai achieves his true potential saving me because somehow he realised that it was to protect me and therefore the green ninja. And I know you don’t know the prophecy of the green ninja, but it is the one destined to defeat darkness and bring back light. That darkness being my father. I have to fight and defeat my father in what’s called ‘the final battle’.” My eyes widened, and I sat up.

“You have to fight him?!” I almost yelled and he nodded, soothing me by patting my leg.

“That didn’t really settle well with my father and he left, the whole thing has sent him into a spiral really. Pythor managed to resurrect the great devourer, the one thing my Dad hates more than himself, and Wu. The ninjas gave up their golden weapons to my Dad so he could kill the devourer. He then took off with them after, creating that mega weapon which the ninjas somehow destroyed, that day is a blur really. Before that however, he used it resurrect the grundle. Which led to aging me to adulthood. The tea is supposed to somehow bring someone to the age that fate needs them to be. The grundle wasn’t needed and me, I’m supposed to be fate’s soldier. And children aren’t very successful in fights.” Lloyd said and I just looked up at him for a moment before jumping up and hugging him. He returned the hug, shifting me to actually be sat in his lap.

“I’m sorry.” I apologised and he shook his head.

“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Lloyd told me and I shook my head.

“Maybe not, but everyone else does. You’ve had the shittiest life I’ve ever heard of, and you haven’t even heard what Pearl’s been through.” I joked and he chuckled, kissing my cheek before holding me again. I held the back of his head and played with his hair and he rested the side of his head on mine.

“It’s not so bad. I have you now.” He said and that made me break, sobbing into his arms.

“That’s so sad.” I said and he laughed.

“Not to me.” Lloyd argued and I shook my head. “Hey, don’t cry over me, that’s a waste. Cry over your own shitty backstory not mine.” He told me and I giggled through my sobs.

“It’s not that shitty though! I was just neglected with a heavy handed sprinkle of bullying, you were actually homeless!” I argued and he shook his head.

“No, yours is so much worse. My mother actually tried speaking to me.” Lloyd said and I smiled.

“You sure that’s better than mine not?” I asked and he contemplated it for a moment.

“Yeah, I win. My life is worse than yours.” He said and chucked me onto the bed, off his lap. I laughed as he stood up.

“Okay, I can accept that loss.” I said and heard him laugh before suddenly he was next to me, laying down and star fishing, half over my body. I groaned at the sudden weight. “You’re so big, you need a whole bigass bed just to fit-.” I said and I saw the smirk come across his face and before I could take it back-

“That’s what you said-“

“Shut up- shut up-“ I covered his mouth and he laughed against my hand before licking it. I brought my hand back.

“Ew, Lloyd!” I said and his eyes snapped open.

“Wait licking your hand is gross but now-“

“Shut up! Someone could hear you-“ I said and he shrugged.

“My family has super hearing, my uncle definitely heard us fucking before he knocked on the door. He probably waited until we were out the shower to knock-“

“Oh my god! Are you serious?!” I asked and he nodded but shrugged a moment later.

“My uncle and Dad are really old. They were around during the times people used to fuck publicly like it was nothing.” Lloyd said and my jaw dropped. He started laughing and I shoved him.

“Not funny!” I scolded but he didn’t care.

“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry. But they are really old. I think my Dad is around 1300 years old.” Lloyd said and I froze.

“How old?!” I asked again and he nodded.

“Well my grandfather is the first spinjitsu master so it makes sense.” I stared at him momentarily.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” I said and he laughed.

🪺. *. ⋆

Peach fell asleep as soon as they spent 5 minutes in silence. Lloyd had listened as her heartbeat slowed and her breathing evened out. They had thrown his covers over them both and spent some time just resting in each other’s arms. It was getting late and he hadn’t spoke to his team since the museum. And he was hungry. He had the appetite of a dragon and he can’t remember the last time he ever felt full. So carefully, he got out the bed. Freezing as Y/n turned whined and then turned over, displeased. He breathed a sigh of relief when she settled back and quietly left his room. His footsteps didn’t make any sound anyway.

The halls of the monastery were simple, but elegant. The monks had spent the past millennia carving prophecies and teachings into the walls, making a beautiful architecture as the heads went on. When Lloyd made it to the kitchen, everyone was there. They all paused to look at him and he stopped for a moment before walking over to a cabinet. He hadn’t noticed his mother sat at the table, initially.

“Are you going to explain to us who that girl is or?” Cole asked, breaking the silence and Lloyd looked up, debating whether to say anything.

“That’s my girlfriend, her name is Peach.” He said and the table shot up in uproar.

“Girlfriend?! When?!” Kai immediately whined.

“How long have you even been seeing her?!” Nya asked, outraged she wasn’t the first to know.

“Before me??” Cole’s grating voice.

“It wasn’t just a hook up?!” Jay asked, perplexed.

“That’s where you’ve been?!” Cole’s voice again.

“I have no records of someone named Peach in the residents of ninjago records.” Zane was the last straw.

“Yes! I have a girlfriend! And her actual name isn’t Peach but she’s got powers too, they’re not elemental and really unpredictable. We call it glitching. As you’ve seen. We think they’re triggered by certain emotional triggers. Her name is apparently one of them.” Lloyd told them and it did not satisfy them at all.

“She lodged that thing in the ground! It’s still there!” Jay yelled and Lloyd nodded.

“We haven’t spoke about that yet so don’t bring it up please.” Lloyd said and they all froze. He was different.

“Congratulations, nephew.” Wu said and Lloyd looked up at him. “I’m sure you 5 have probably connected that this girl is the reason for Lloyd’s sudden excelling in training and skills. Love sharpens the mind, and makes the body more defensive.” Wu said and Lloyd’s eyes widened.

“Woah- not there yet!” He said and moved to take his snacks away from his eager Uncle.

“We may live for long, but we fall in love quick. Your mother would be able to attend to this.” Wu said and Lloyd’s eyes sharpened.

“So would Dad, y’know, until he found out he had a son he didn’t know about.” Lloyd said Misako’s face fell.

“Your father spoke of me?” She asked and Lloyd smiled.

“Oh yeah lots!” He said and she smiled back at him. “Lots of unforgiving, hateful things.” Her face fell again. “I haven’t heard him mention you with a positive tone since he asked me where my mother was!” Lloyd said and the atmosphere soured, dangerously.

“Lloyd.” Wu warned.

“Don’t pretend to care about me.” Lloyd said instead of acknowledging his Uncle. “I don’t need you.” He added and walked out the kitchen.

“He’s really upset.” He heard Nya say.

“Can you blame him? Kid was abandoned multiple times.” Cole.

“Lloyd! Wait up!” He didn’t, but Kai caught up anyway. “Talk to me, dude.” He said but Lloyd only looked at him. “C’mon, we used to talk about everything! I even used to read you to sleep when you first moved in.” Kai reminded and Lloyd smiled a little. “I mean- you got a girlfriend?!” Kai said, with a smile. It made Lloyd willingly open his door wider to reveal the lump under his covers. Hair just visible.

“I did.” He said, Kai smiled looking in as Lloyd rested on the door frame.

“I can’t believe you scored Peach.” He said and Lloyd laughed before nodding.

“I was there when you came over the over day.” Lloyd revealed and Kai paled a little. “She said you are a massive dick.” Lloyd added and Kai laughed.

“Are or have one- because she has walked in on me and Pearl-“ Lloyd shoved him and he laughed.

“Are. And she’s right.” Lloyd added and Kai smiled. “Come in, I don’t want those weirdos listening in on us.” Lloyd said and a faint ‘hey’ from Jay was heard. Kai nodded, at Lloyd’s point being proved. It was soon followed by ‘blabber mouth’ from Cole.

With the door closed, Lloyd sat on the end of his bed as Kai took residence on the floor.

“She won’t mind?” Kai asked and Lloyd shook his head.

“The only thing she’ll mind at the moment is an alarm.” Lloyd said and Kai chuckled. “You awake, Peaches?” Lloyd asked and shook the lump who groaned and aggressively pulled the covers around herself more. “See?” Lloyd said and Kai’s eyes widened. “Do you mind if Kai stays in here?!” Lloyd practically yelled and the lump only whined, shoved him away from her and turned on her side to avoid him. “Not a care in the world.” Lloyd concluded and Kai nodded.

“Oh my god.” Kai said, perplexed and Lloyd smirked. They talked for a solid hour before the lump suddenly shot up and collapsed into Lloyd.

“I can’t sleep without cuddling something.” I said and I heard two voices chuckle. How did it take me this long to realise someone else was in the room? I looked up to see Kai and I turned to Lloyd.

“I told you, no privacy.” He said and I shrugged, settling down.

“Shame, I was going to give you the head of your life.” I shut my eyes, as my head rested comfortably on his thigh, facing away from Kai and towards his stomach.

“Get out.” I heard Lloyd say, most serious I’ve ever heard him. I laughed and so did Kai.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Late. You slept most the afternoon away, Peaches.” Lloyd told me and I nodded slightly.

“Is Kai still here?” I asked and Lloyd nodded.

“I asked him to leave.” Lloyd said and I sighed.

“You didn’t ask, you ordered.” Kai argued.

“I told him to leave.” Lloyd said, instead and I laughed. Brothers, definitely.

“No head then.” I said and watched as Lloyd glared at Kai.

“Can you even move, Peach?” Kai asked and I didn’t move.

“I’m gonna pass out again.” I said instead and soon surrendered to sleep again.

“You just cock-blocked me so hard!” Lloyd said and Kai shrugged.

“You’ve cock-blocked me so many time, I don’t care.” It was true. The other ninjas used to send him to knock on Kai’s door whenever they knew Kai was having phone sex or make him tell Kai he was meant to babysit him when he was about to go hook up with someone and then his hookup would start talking about how cute his younger brother was.

“Not my fault.” Lloyd defended.

“You did it for a price.” Kai counter-argued and Lloyd shrugged.

🪺. *. ⋆

I woke up to no Lloyd. I was in his bed but no him. I sighed and sat up. How did I feel so tired? And hungry. What do I do until Lloyd comes back? Stay here? I stood up and looked around the room. He had his own bathroom. Good. I stretched in the middle of his room. The t-shirt he had put on me before I fell asleep rose slightly above my ass, exposing the skin and the fact I had nothing on my lower half. I shoved my trousers from yesterday on, keeping his shirt though. I pulled my bra on, clipping the back before listening with my ear against the door to try and hear if anyone was outside. I noticed my phone was on charge and his was next to it. Good, that meant he hadn’t left. I checked it. No messages. The usual. 8:07am. What the hell? I thought it was like 1pm with how I felt and how everything looked. Where the hell did Lloyd have to go at 8pm?

I slowly opened Lloyd’s door and peeked out it, taking one look down the long hallway. I took a deep breath. It’s a long hallway. How big is this place? I didn’t really get a good look at it. It was already bigger than any home I’d been in before. That’s when I made myself pause. This wasn’t a house. It was a monastery. That meant other people lived here, specifically monks. It was also owned and used by Lloyd’s uncle whose father is the first spinjitsu master. That meant that this wasn’t a normal monastery and in fact it was dedicated to ninjitsu and the first spinjitsu master’s techniques and teachings. It was also evident in the engravings and painting in the walls and supporting poles of the building. I didn’t even realise how far I’d walked when looking at the decor until I was staring into a kitchen. Empty. Thank god. I was really hungry. I can’t just take their food though. That would be extremely rude. Unless I just took Lloyd’s food. I bet they all share though. I’ll wait. I’m starving though. My throat is dry. Having some water isn’t rude, is it? Where the hell are the cups? It’s rude to snoop. Why is etiquette so hard? I’ll suffer. I’d rather suffer than be asked the condensing question of ‘what are you doing?’ Before I could leave, a voice made me jump.

“Not hungry?” An older woman’s voice. I frowned as I turned to see her. Her hair was in a singular grey braid. This is the woman I saw with Lloyd before. In the room with the hole. This is his mother. The woman who abandoned him.

“No.” I lied. My stomach stayed quiet. “Just trying to make my way around.” I said and she smiled.

“In Misako, Lloyd’s mother.” She introduced herself and I nodded.

“Peach, Lloyd’s girlfriend.” I said and Misako’s smile didn’t falter.

“Do you mind giving me your real name?” She asked and I nodded.

“I do mind.” I said, finally smiling back. “If I wanted you to know it, I would’ve said it.” I turned on my heel and went to walk out.

“I understand you’ve only heard about me through Lloyd and he is very upset.” Misako started and I rolled my eyes, turning around again.

“Rightfully so.” I said and she just nodded.

“But it was to try and find a way around the final battle- see, I knew from his birth that he would be the green ninja. So I left him at that school to do everything I could to try and stop it.” She said and I narrowed my eyes.

“I’m not following.” I said and Misako sighed.

“I had to try to put a stop to all this.” Misako said and I nodded.

“No, I got that- I just don’t get why you’re telling me and not Lloyd why you left him.” I said and she came a little closer.

“I tried, he didn’t want to hear it.” Misako said and I ‘oh’d’.

“And you want me to try and talk to him?” I asked and she smiled.

“You are in his prophecies, helping him in any way.” That freaked me out. “You have to start playing your part.” She told me and now I was annoyed. Lloyd did not inherit a thing from this woman.

“Where is he, by the way?” I asked and Misako seemed to ease up, thank god. Except she was still sort of close to me.

“You think about him a lot, don’t you?” This felt creepy now. She reached out a hand to put on my shoulder and my arm glitched causing her hand to go through my body. When she retracted her hand and nodded to herself, I remained neutral. “He’s with the others and Wu in the dojo, training.” Misako said and I nodded.

“Okay. Thank you.” I said and sped out. I had no clue what was up with that woman but I was starting to think it was best Lloyd wasn’t raised by her. This whole place was weird and all the authoritative figures were eery and thoroughly made my skin crawl. Back down the long hallway I went, trying to ignore the fact Lloyd’s mother was apparently following me. She split into another room not long after and I thanked any spiritual being listening. I heard voices at one point and stopped at the open door. Actually none of these dojo rooms had doors. There I saw the 5 ninjas surrounding Lloyd who blindfolded.

“Don’t rely on your eyes, use your ears.” Earth said and they all suddenly drew their weapons and charged at Lloyd. I watched in silence as they fought. Lloyd expertly dodging and even disarming them at some points. It wasn’t until the blue one flew past me, into the hallway and onto the floor was I noticed.

“Oh, hey… I’m Jay by the way.” He said and raised his hand from where he was laying on the floor, I shook it and smiled. He was ginger and had a mass of freckles populating his skin that wasn’t as pale as expected from a ginger.

“Peach.” I said and he smiled.

“Nice to meet you!” Jay stood and nodded before jumping back in the fight. I watched as Lloyd wore them down and worked on not exhausting himself before lighting up his green elemental fire which apparently signalled that he had won or the fight was over? I don’t know. However, I tried not to jump when he suddenly turned to me. Sythe in hand and smirked.

“Hey Peaches.” Lloyd said and I tried not to give too physical a reaction. And he have to sound so smug.

“Good morning.” I said and he chuckled.

“Feels like mid afternoon with how early we got up.” Kai said, from where he was sitting on the floor.

“I hate to tell you, Peach, but I don’t think training is over yet so I can’t see you until Cole tells me I can take this off.” Lloyd said and I laughed.

“Shame, I woke up hotter than I was yesterday.” I told him and he whipped around to the others.

“Bro I could not care less-! Just use your stamina on something other than us at the moment! Got I hate not having my powers!” ‘Cole’ vented and I nodded. Lloyd bent his head down and I untied the blind fold. He let his eyes adjust before looking me over.

“Wow, you did.” He said and I shoved him.

“Lloyd has game. Who would’ve thought? Not me.” Kai said and before anyone could retaliate. The ground shook violently and Kai shot up. “I’m sorry, I won’t diss your grandson again!” Kai pleaded and I looked to Lloyd confused.

“That’s not my Grandad, he likes thunder. That’s an actual earthquake.” Lloyd said and I frowned.

“What the-?” I went to question but was shut up by another shake, more violent. Lloyd held on to me, instinctively and I held grabbed onto his arm.

“Okay, that’s not good.” Jay said and Cole smacked him.

“Thanks for stating the obvious!” He said, annoyed. How did Jay annoy him so easily? Lloyd rolled his eyes and turned on a TV I hadn’t even noticed was in here. That seemed dangerous. He sat on the floor and I joined him, following his lead as most the ninja were already on the floor due to exhaustion. The two elders came in not long after and started watching the news too.

“So it’s just earthquakes?” I asked after Gale went on about how the aftershocks were getting stronger.

“It’s never just earthquakes, there’s always something wanting to destroy ninjago behind it. Last time there were earthquakes, it was because the great devourer had become ninjago city’s new train service except the only way on was through the mouth and into its stomach.” Jay said and I nodded, quickly looking up at Lloyd who shook his head.

“What could it be then?” I asked and Lloyd shrugged.

“Anything from my father to a big evil dog a this rate.” He said and I smiled.

“Would’ve be surprised if it was Garmadon, we haven’t seen him for a while.” Kai said.

“He would never.” Misako said and I couldn’t hold back the frown. “Lloyd‘s father is evil, but he would never do anything to put his son in harm’s way.” She added and I looked up to Lloyd who took a deep breath, restraining himself.

“Misako’s right. He only tried to thwart his training. This is something else.” Wu said and Lloyd stood up, offering me a hand which I took as he lifted me up.

“But what is it?” Jay asked and it went quiet before Ice whistled and a bird came out of nowhere. I jumped at the sudden animal appearing.

“My friend. Be my eyes and ears in the streets from above.” He let the bird fly out the window and I stared up at Lloyd, confusion evident.

“Zane is a nindroid. That falcon is a robot.” He explained and I nodded.

“That’s really bad, we’ve gotta get out there and start helping people.” Cole said and I looked to Lloyd.

“Right.” Lloyd said and turned to me, I nodded.

“I think I need a time out anyway.” I said and Lloyd kissed me before pulling up the mask on his gi. “Do you want to go home?” He asked and I nodded. “Come on.”

🪺. *. ⋆

My dorm building was gone. I just watched it crumble to the ground. There was dust everywhere. My eyes burned from the haze of it. The whole building just collapsed after a particular harsh quake. I was on the other side of the road. It came down like it was made out of sticks. What if someone was still in there? I felt sick. I was glad it was the holidays. My ears were ringing too. I only just recognised the crying and screaming from someone next to me. A girl, not even 13.

“My friend-! She was- I don’t know if she got out!” She said when I turned to her and I held her. “When did you speak to her?” I asked and she shook her head.

“Not even 10 minutes ago-!”

“What floor?” I asked and she took a deep breath.

“5th.” Shit.

“Maybe… come on. We’ll go look for her.” I told her and soldiered in to the haze of dust and fresh debris. “What’s her name?” I asked and the girl was still shaking.

“Kaliyah.” She said and I nodded, before yelling the name. I waited for a moment before nothing. I yelled again and the little girl followed.

“Wait- what’s your name?” I asked and she looked up at me.

“Fiona.” She said and I smiled.

“Peach, we’re gonna find your friend.” I said and Fiona smiled gratefully.

🪺. *. ⋆

The ninja had just successfully pulled a woman out essentially a growing sinkhole. All Cole could say was how annoying her dog was as he panted on the floor. In the haste. Everyone had forgotten he no longer had his super strength and was using his raw natural strength and muscle to haul the 5 of them and a woman to safety. Safe to say, his arms felt like they were just ripped off him. The woman had run off and now they were just stood, looking around at the damage as the quakes continued.

“These things keep coming with no warning!” Kai said, trying to remain on two stable feet.

“That’s it! A warning!” Misako said, pulling out a scroll from her satchel. “The scrolls said the earthquakes would be a warning. A warning for something far worse to come.” She finished and Jay immediately spoke up.

“Far worse? What could be far worse?” He asked.

“Misako? The indestructible stone warrior we fought yesterday, where did you find him?” Cole asked and Lloyd’s eyes widened.

“The one Peach put in the ground?!” He asked and Misako responded.

“He was buried under the city.” She told him.

“You don’t think there’s more do you?” Jay asked, worriedly.

“Be on guard ninja. We must be ready for whatever comes our way.” Wu said.

“Uh- Lloyd…” Kai said, and Lloyd turned to see what he was staring at. He followed Kai’s gaze to the TV screen in a shop broadcasting the news, and on it was a crumbled building. It was expected with the quakes. What wasn’t, was the sign of a particular school and the disturbing title under it.

‘Emmer’s boarding school dormitories first building to fall in unexpected earthquakes, deaths and injuries unknown.’

“Shit- I gotta go-!” Lloyd said and started running.

“Go where?!” Jay yelled after him but Kai stopped him.

“Peach’s home has just been destroyed.” Kai filled in and Jay’s eyes widened from behind the mask.

🪺. *. ⋆

I had nothing. Literally nothing. It was all gone now. What the fuck? What do I do? The only thing I could do right now was look for this little girl.

“Kaliyah! Kali-“ I paused at the sound of a sob. It sounded breathless and strained. “Kaliyah?!” I asked again and I heard it, more urgent. I looked around in the direction I heard it and saw a little leg peeling out under some rumble. I gasped and immediately started lifting the bit of rubble on top of her. “Fiona-! I found her-!” I said and heard the girl yell and head my way. I used all my strength to get the first piece of rubble off and the desperate, immediate breath that the girl took broke my heart. She was bloodied and it took all my strength to not cry at the sight. Instead I worked and dislodging the debris that had trapped her arm.

“Kaliyah! Kal-!” Fiona yelled and held the other girl’s hand.

“Help me lift her up.” I said and Fiona helped me position her better in my arms as I was forced to carry her bridal style. “Call an ambulance, now!” I said and Fiona immediately pulled her phone out. “She’s barely breathing- it must’ve crushed her lungs..” I murmured to myself and set the girl down on the flat ground near the road. Another quake came rattling through the ground and I watched as the school itself came crashing down this time. “Cover your eyes!” I yelled and Fiona, even with being on the phone dropped to ground and covered herself. I used my own body to shield Kaliyah’s and thanks to Ninjago city’s top tier healthcare, we had no idea when this ambulance would turn up. Especially with the emergency currently happening. I felt as the cloud of dust and debris came rushing over us, fiercely. I fully covered the little girl and prayed she lived to not remember this and have a happy life. I opened my eyes to check on Fiona when an ember flew in my eyes and I cried out. It stung and I couldn’t open my eye as it burned through the socket. It probably didn’t but it felt like it. I heard sirens and silently thanked the gods above.

I felt numb as they took the girl away, I told Fiona to go with them. She was unsure but I nodded. It didn’t matter about me being alone and having nowhere to go because Lloyd appeared and rushed over to me. Immediately checking me over. I was probably covered in dust and debris and the odd cut.

“What the hell happened?!” He asked and I shrugged.

“My school and dorm collapsed and I just dug out a 12yr old from some rubble and had to dislodge part of a radiator from her arm so her lungs wouldn’t be considerably crushed. Oh by the way! I have nothing and am currently homeless.” I said and he shook his head.

“No you’re not… come live with me.” He said and I nodded.

“Can’t believe we’re already moving in together… can’t believe I almost died.” I said and he held me tighter.

“You’re safe now, okay?” He said and I just leant on him. “Peach? Y/n?” He asked when I didn’t respond and I just smiled.

“I think I’m gonna pass out…” I said and he shook his head and bent his head down to look at me.

“No, you’re not… not atleast until we’re out of here. Buildings keep falling around here.” Lloyd said and I smiled.

“Tell me about it.” I joked and he shook his head.

“C’mon… the stone warriors are going to be attacking soon- well they already are but more.” He told me and I frowned.

“The who?” I asked and Lloyd grabbed my hand, leading me back to ninjago city.

“Y’know that big live statue from yesterday?” He told me and my face dropped.

“And you’re taking me to it?!” I almost screeched.

“No! Everyone is being evacuated to the top of the news tower and then we’re going to use the bounty to evacuate as many as we can.” He added and I frowned.

“The bounty?! Lloyd- what’s going on?!” I asked and he didn’t stop running but briefly looked at me.

“We think the final battle is starting. The earthquakes are meant to be a warning according to my mother.” Lloyd said and I looked up at him.

“What the fuck…?” I questioned.

“My thoughts exactly.”

[starcasticallyyours]

starcastic’s fun facts about writing Art and Artifice

So, my Vmin Regency AU Art and Artifice is finally finished!! This feels rather surreal because I worked on almost nothing else for the past 6 months. It was such a good experience though because not only did I enjoy myself immensely with the craft and execution of this story, but the people who regularly commented were so wonderfully encouraging and made me feel like the sunken cost was all worth it. Thank you again, I love you all so much!

A lot went into the making of this story, so I really want to share more about how I wrote it as well as pointing out little Easter eggs I included, both relating to BTS or the time period. If any of this interests you, keep reading below!

FUN FACTS FIRST!

Not sure if anyone got this, but the title is in fact a riff on Pride and Prejudice! And the sequel will be even more silly by having a very Blackadder the Third take on another Austen title, but you’ll have to wait and see which one it is.

I already mentioned in an author’s note that each of the estates had IRL basis, but they also all had fictional ones. Harthaven is meant to evoke Mr Knightley’s Donwell Abbey with its stately farmcore vibes. Ivoring Hall should remind you of both Longbourn (especially with the Mins behaving rather Bennet-like) and Kellynch Hall (their money woes reflecting those of the Elliots). And of course, Davensley is a total rip-off of Mr Darcy’s Pemberley and is here to represent the epic breadth and majesty of all major English country estates.

Taehyung’s Grand Tour itinerary is based on Lord Byron’s from 1809-1811. I’m sure he desperately wanted to go to France and Italy but there’s a war going on out there, somewhere. And Seokjin isn’t here. (My Great Comet agenda will never rest)

Speaking of which, there should have been a Jin mention each update but I failed this when the Sope proposal scene became its own chapter and I forgot. Kind of bummed about it, not gonna lie.

I thought about having Yoongi read Sense and Sensibility at some point since it was published in October 1811. But then he went and established himself as an ardent enthusiast of gothic melodrama instead, how very Catherine Morland of him.

[major story spoiler] The backstory of why Merritt suddenly came back to England was that a great-aunt of his died and he had expected to be given her estate just to discover that this was not the case! Having sold his commission, he couldn’t return to a military career so he decided to wiggle his way back into Jimin’s life to gain his fortune/inheritance instead -- except he did not expect a) Minjeong’s wise decision to will Harthaven to Namjoon and b) Kim Taehyung. [end spoilers]

Not about the story/characters at all but I have a weird preoccupation with numbers so I’m particularly happy that I started this fic on 11/11 and managed to finish it on 5/5. 

A tidbit about the sequel: it will be from Namjoon’s POV and centred around him as he was mostly in the background throughout this story and deserves something good after his year of being sad. I’m looking forward to it because how he views himself is absolutely not the same way Jimin does!

THE WRITING PROCESS:

I almost always come up with a story’s ENTIRE plot before even writing it down. So after seeing @dayofkaryn​‘s tweet (like I’ve said so many times) in March, I was bit by a plot bunny and thought about it incessantly for about 2 months to figure out the main beats. This way, I can mentally test and veto things – at one point I had an entire other ending to the story that I never wrote down and ergo have totally forgotten what it was (something about Taegi teaming up against Merritt but I do not remember what their plan was at ALL). Of course, the final version of the story almost never resembles the chosen plot 100% faithfully, but having a roadmap is still really important for my personal security!

Next, I outline. Extensively. The version that I kept on tweaking and rewriting over the summer ended up at 11k words by the time I started. The point is that it’s a 0 draft and again, I’m figuring out the beats and identifying what needs to be done in regards to character development, structure, or just basic research.

I started drafting in late September and had the first 3 chapters ready by the first post in November (totally lost my head start by Christmas though, lol). When I draft, I cut/paste the section of outline that applies into a new Google doc and start forming them into sentences and paragraphs. Sometimes I end up rewriting the outline first, especially for later chapters after the story had developed into its own thing with a much clearer personality that deviated from the original plan! In draft mode, I also keep Wordhippo and Etymonline on nearby tabs to help me catch that word on the tip of my tongue and that my vocabulary choice is both period and suitably British. Luckily, thanks to where I grew up/currently live my spelling habits are already UK style!

Once drafted, I upload as a preview on AO3 and tweak for line edits/formatting there. Will admit that by the last 2-3 chapters this was not done and I would line edit after posting because my work schedule was hectic! But then the chapter is published, yay, and I go about my day trying not to think about it and reminding myself that the stats page is not an indicator of quality or worth. 

RESOURCES:

I’ll admit that I constantly googled shit while I drafted, ending up mostly on the blogs of Romance authors or Jane Austen fanpages. I do want to shout out this extremely cool collection of articles written by literally one person on very particular and niche topics from the era called the Regency Redingote. Even if it just came to one-liners about Jimin using a mote spoon or trimming quills, the wealth of information is just amazing and I could and have lost hours of time just reading about these random Regency things.

I also used videos for general education. Ellie Dashwood is a YouTuber who for a long time made Austen and 19th century her thing, so she was great for simple and straightforward explanations. (And she’s Yoongi biased!) There’s also this incredibly detailed re-enactment of a private ball by the Real Royalty history channel that they held in Edward Austen’s house! That one is just FUN to watch and learning more about the period via direct experience is a great way to do it in my opinion. And this one vlog about a pheasant shoot helped me significantly with Chapter 9 even if it’s very modern.

However, nothing beats immersing yourself in the OG stories! While writing this fic I revisited Emma, Northanger Abbey, and Sense and Sensibility from top to bottom, and picked up Venetia as a new Heyer read. I also checked out Jennifer Kloester’s Georgette Heyer’s Regency World from the library which had a lot of details about the setting and culture that was really useful. My library system has tons of Heyer actually, I should pick up another to celebrate finishing the AU!

WRITING SOUNDTRACKS:

I’m a creature of habit and usually will return to the same handful of mood music for a project. For A&A, these were on constant rotation:

For lighthearted scenes [like in chapters 4-7] / Jimin’s “theme”: the complete OST from Emma 2020. I genuinely love this movie for its cinematography and absurdity, and I love the soundtrack too! For Vmin scenes / Taehyung’s “theme”: Twoset Violin’s Mendelssohn 4mil Concert. I really, really like the Bach piano pieces at the start and end, and I find La Campanella to be very A&A!Taehyung coded: torrid and dramatic and also kind of ridiculous. I do pause writing whenever I hear the concerto starting to catch Brett’s panicked face when they prank him every single time, hahahaha

For Sope scenes / Yoongi’s “theme”: this collection of John Field’s nocturnes. My favourite is No. 10, the “Romance”. Soft and gentle, like our sweet Suga!! Other composers I would also put on from time to time were Beethoven, Pleyel (who Jane Austen was known to enjoy a lot), more John Field (concertos instead of nocturnes) and of course, BTS. C:

If you actually read to the end of this very self-indulgent and longwinded post, thank you for your patience! I hope you liked the story too, and are curious enough to see what the heck I’m going to do with pirates in the sequel. Because now I’m going to have to figure that out too. As always, I remain starcasticallyyours!

[defira85]

So

tw: covid, tw: death

It’s been a rough few months to say the least

My boss got covid back in May. By early August, it was pretty obvious he had long covid. Anyone who’s been following me for long enough knows that it’s a real small business - there’s him and me and our receptionist, and we’ve got one girl off-site doing admin stuff. He hasn’t been able to work for almost 8 weeks now, and there’s a point coming soon where he won’t be able to keep paying us all

I’ve been trying to keep spirits up as best I can and keep things running

Then I got covid

It was honestly not as horrific as I was scared of, and right up until the moment when I got the text confirming a positive test, I was convinced I didn’t have it. Which was weird, given how terrified I’ve been of it for the last 2 and a half years. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy, but I’ve been convinced I was going to die, absolutely certain it was going to kill me. The fact that I got through the worst of it without needing to go to hospital is unfathomable to me

But it hasn’t been easy. It’s almost 5 weeks now and I’m still symptomatic. Nowhere near as bad as the first 2 weeks, but it’s not letting me go. I’m trying to stay positive (again) about avoiding long covid but with every day that passes and I’m still showing symptoms, things look a little bleaker. I might have to find a new job before the end of the year, how am I going to find a new job while I have long covid? when I already have fibro?

Last Friday morning, we got a phone call from Tom’s dad

His mum had a massive heart attack during the night and had been rushed to hospital. I won’t go into the particulars of everything that’s happened in the last week, but to summarise, she never woke up. We lost her on Wednesday. The woman who was more of a mother to me than my own mother for the last decade was just gone without warning. And because I’m still symptomatic even if I’m returning negative RATs, I wasn’t allowed into the hospital

I never got to see her again. I had to say goodbye over the phone

I haven’t cried since it happened. I think everything is just too much to cry right now. I know it’s coming, but everything just feels so surreal and comically over the top at how catastrophic life has gone off the rails so fast that I swing between numb and hysterical

I’m trying to stay positive about things because if I don’t try, I’m going to break. I’m holding on by the slimmest thread

So that’s been me

Its her birthday in 3 weeks

[intoafandom]

Ok bruinsblr, it’s been a few weeks and i think im finally ready to say some stuff.....

Firstly, if it wasn’t ABUNDANTLY CLEAR, i was in denial, probably more than ive ever been in my entire life. I’m only NOW starting to feel it as I type this out (which i KNEW would happen and its why i put off making this post).

It doesn’t feel real. It feels like someone took the script and ripped it into a thousand pieces. It feels like it wasn’t supposed to happen that way at all and that there was something evil force flipping the scales. It feels like everything just suddenly disappeared, like all of the sudden everything just freaking stopped and everyone just disappeared. I feel like I haven’t seen the team in YEARS even though its only been a couple weeks. Everything just feels gone.

Yall know ive been posting about oneus (and onewe) waaaay more often lately (and its not just because they came back with new music and ravns been active). Again, ive been in denial and oneus (and onewe) are my helpful distraction. Cuz otherwise ik i would’ve been a total complete mess. 2019 still feels worse to me because, again, I haven’t let myself feel all the emotions tied to the elimination. I haven’t thought about bergy or krech, I haven’t thought about the free agents, or anything else relating to it because if i do ik I’ll probably break aaaand im not ready to go down that road yet.

I’m happy about the regular season, probably more than I’ll ever be about another season ever again. Everything that happened was so surreal. Linus’ goaie goal, the bench clearing for Bergy’s 1000th point (and the fact that i got to go to the game where they honored him). The winter classic at fenway and JD killing it in LITERALLY every way possible. We got pooh bear, we got meth bear, we got everything. There were so many milestones, so many players who had the best seasons of their career.

I kinda feel like im in limbo. Like I don’t really know what to do with myself. Cuz i literally haven’t watched ANY other playoff games and it all just feels so weird. And i guess that’s the word that sums everything up for me. Weird.

I think when the season started, we all could feel that this was the last dance. And now that its over, I don’t know how to feel or what to do. I don’t even know how to post about the bruins rn. Cuz everything just feels so freaking weird and disconnected. I think im just detached from reality. I’m in my own little space where none of the painful emotions have fully hit me yet.

And now i feel like i don’t really know what to do with myself. Because since 2018 this has been a hockey blog (with a few other things randomly thrown in). The past 5 years have been hockey hockey hockey, and ive been posting about the same people for so freaking long.

And like...I don’t really know what to do now because im pretty 100% sure that some of those core people are going to be gone. Dynamics are going to change, and im someone who HATES change.

Honestly, at the beginning of the season/the end of last season, I was almost completely checked out of bruinsblr. That was the height of all the drama (iykyk) and the team got crushed in the playoffs + all the sh!t canes fans did to pasta. I was sick of lb’ing because i just wanted to watch the games in peace without having to see all the hate. I was sick of missing cute cellys just so i could type “BERGY YOU KING” before anyone else. I was exhausted.

But then this season came along and it was like all the joy from 2018-19 (my first year as a hockey fan) all came back. I was lb’ing the way i used to, without focusing on notes or followers. I was just enjoying it. Enjoying the games, enjoying the moments in real time. I didn’t make as many edits, I didn’t force myself to make them when I wasn’t motivated.

I enjoyed the season the way i was supposed to. As a fan rather than...whatever the fvck this account is. And it was amazing.

All this to say, idk what is coming. Idk what this off-season is gunna be like and idk what next season is gunna be like. Will I still lb? Maybe. Will I still edit the bruins? Maybe. Will I still post about the bruins? Maybe. Probably.

But am I going to obsess over the wags anymore? No. Am I going to screenshot things from insta and post them here with the caption “omg player xyz is so funny/cute for this!” No. That’s stuff I feel I’ve grown out of. Don’t get me wrong, i still love jd and cmac and bambi carlo and all the others, but i dont feel like posting about their personal lives anymore, especially when yall can just go to their instas and see it RIGHT THERE.

Here’s what I know though. I still love the bruins. I love their friendships and the team dynamics. I still love hockey, i still love sports. And this is still a fan account (duh its literally called IntoAFandom). I’m still going to post/talk/rant about it all. I’m still going to be a reblog queen and im still going to follow the tags like ive always done.

But I’m also telling you that I’m going to he posting a lot of oneus and onewe now. I feel like im moving into a new stage and they’re a part of it. So if you dont like it, this is your out. I wont get offended, kpop isn’t for everyone (hell, i used to ACTIVELY avoid it the entire time i was in high school and for a couple years after I graduated too).

Basically, I’m going to do what makes me happy now, just as I started doing this season. I’m going to do whatever I’m in the mood to do and I’m not going to force myself to do anything. Im going to watch the bruins and im going to continue to be a fan of them. I still love them and i still love the team. But im also going to love oneus and onewe and im going to stop holding myself back.

Yall know i loved marvel for the last 5 years too, but i think a lot of you probably know that I haven’t been into it lately, but that’s a post for a different time lol.

All this to say im growing. Im exploring new things, finding new loves. And its fun. Im learning korean (why am I lowkey good lol), I’m writing a book, i finally got over my fear of talking to people (yay me).

I feel like im starting to look at the world in a new way, a way I haven’t looked at it in a long time. And it’s making me happy, honestly.

This post took a weird (theres that word again) turn, so I apologize, but i feel like this is all connected somehow. I don’t know what this account is going to look like in a few months, but I guess thats the fun of it all.

Thanks for reading, sorry for the typos (ik there’s gunna be some but I’m too lazy to proof read this oop).

Thank you to all the friends ive made on bruinsblr (Liv and Sarah, thank you❤️). This isn’t a goodbye, because lets be real lol. But I guess its a new beginning? Idk. But yeah.

[oceanlipgloss]

𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧

ABOUT ME [THE WRITER]

Ra (pron. she/her) is a nickname I chose for myself. I may be in my 20s, but my mind is that of a tattered old lady, yes. Laziness devours me. I yearn for the old times and cling to my DVDs. Every now and then I disappear or go on hiatus because my affinity bar is maxed out with exquisite mental health. Hail useless anti-depressants.

My taste in most things is quite curious. I write and supposedly make ‘art’ once in a blue moon as well, so I’m a semi-illustrator. Anatomy and I are longing strangers. And though dealing with romance in real life is undesirable to me, I do delight in painting my work with a palette of sweet love, tragic romances, and twisted hearts.

Love for ‘Ghibli’ films and ‘Mystic Messenger’ sparkles in a great land in my heart; they’ve been so dear to my soul for many years now, and that’s how things will forever stay. Saeyoung, Ray, and every Saeran are eternally my sweethearts <3

+[1] a lover of art from almost each of its movements prior to the 21st century, while Pop Surrealism is the strange, modern dessert I delight in.

+[2] Russian literature is a drop of reality and tragic paradise.

+[3] Tokyo Ghoul is the only actual manga I have ever read, and the only one I will ever read. A multitude of its colours speak to me and feed my interests. Uta is #1—a rare character who makes me feel as though he was crafted to represent a part of me by possessing qualities, emotions and views that resemble mine and are rarely, if ever, spoken of.

+[4] 90s and 2000s Cartoon Network programs are gems. One of my little dreams is having on a DVD-disc Ed Edd n’ Eddy and Courage the Cowardly Dog.

+[5] Tragedy, dark/twisted themes, horror, and gore make my brain pulse with excited admiration.

+[6] Green Day’s songs take me back to a time I long for and make me feel summer, longing and nostalgia in sound form.

+[7] Venom is the cutest and sexiest creature from outer space to ever be, and I feel like The Wolverine would understand me.

+[8] A premium-grade night owl who can either stay up until morning and wake up at 8AM, or go much earlier to bed.

+[9] 180cm and wish I were a bit shorter, yet still do like my height.

+[10] I may have written—and continue to write—a considerable number of fanfiction works, but it is much, much too rare for me to read those of others.

+[11] Years ago, perhaps in 2019, the ancestor of this blog was crafted under my current username @oceanlipgloss, and on its digital walls I also taped writings for the same games I write fics about now still (with the exception of both ‘Love and Deepspace’ and ‘What in “Hell” is Bad?,’ of course, since both projects had not yet gotten launched back then), so a number of my works are actually old; I chose to deactivate said account during April of 2022. Truth be told, however, I would never have managed to remember neither the month nor year of deactivation were it not for my awareness of a reblog on a once renowned fic of mine (fun fact #1: that fic is ‘Wishes to the Devil’; back then it was the most popularly beloved alphabetical creation I had made).

+[12] @graffitifactory makes for my secondary writing blog; it is particular to fics about Shaw of MLQC. Very rarely do I log-in and put anything up on it now.

+[13] I always give MCs and OCs names I’m fond of, meaning any in-game name that may appear in screenshots I post is not mine. In my mind, the stories are all unrelated to me, and each MC is an individual absolutely separate from and completely different from myself. To put it otherwise: as I play, I view myself as a distant reader and faraway spectator, for I have no interest in being doted on, quite frankly, whether that be in virtual worlds or reality :P

ABOUT MY WRITINGS [THE FANFICS]

On this little slice of internet I stack all my fics like scoops of ice cream—most of them are bitter with melancholy, a couple are spicy with sensuality, and some are sugary with romance.

My writings are not in the sort of style and themes normally sprinkled in popular culture. They can be as short as less than a 100 words and pretty peculiar, but I try to keep them as canonical as could be, for that caters to my tastes. Oftentimes, I make sure to conduct a study on characters and do not write any piece about them before I understand them to the bone, yet there may still be exceptions, however rare.

None of my works are ever sexually explicit, but all of them are written in the 3rd person perspective and maintain feminine pronouns; fanfics about ‘Mystic Messenger,’ ‘Love and Deepspace,’ ‘Love and Producer,’ and ‘What in “Hell” is Bad?’ revolve around the existing female MCs (including their official traits and appearances), while ‘Obey Me!’ fics star my original female MC (with descriptions of her looks, as well as mentions of her qualities, personality, talents, and hobbies).

The otome world knocked on my window about a decade earlier, so I’ve played about 99% of Voltage Inc.’s old games and 95% of NTT Solmare’s. As of now, though, the games I write—and have written—for are five:

+ MYSTIC MESSENGER

+ SHALL WE DATE? OBEY ME!

+ LOVE AND DEEPSPACE

+ LOVE AND PRODUCER

+ WHAT IN “HELL” IS BAD? [GAME_UNINSTALLED]

—note: someday, my writings may include Tokyo Ghoul.

Subjects and themes I am fond of writing about—as well as may tint my works with at times—on the other hand, are as such:

+ art & surrealism

+ classics & history

+ fairy tales & folklore

+ vintage times & pop culture

+ broken souls & romance

+ tragedy, identity & death

+ sacrilege & the forbidden

+ crime, infidelity & obsession

+ dark themes* & messy selves

+ gore, thrillers & body horror

+ psychological torture & toxicity

+ religion, destiny & philosophy

*like: somnophilia, non-consensual sex, sex with dubious consent, as well as much of the above material which has been aforementioned.

FAVOURITE CHARACTERS [THE RANKINGS]

+ MYSTIC MESSENGER: ¹ the twins (except for how they aren’t mere favourite characters of mine, but so much more than that; I love them both so much) | ² Jumin Han, V | ³ Rika (interest × loathing; she is such an intriguing and complex soul, but I will hate her to death even as I lie a cold, rotten corpse in my black grave).

+ SHALL WE DATE? OBEY ME!: ¹ Mephistopheles | ² Raphael, Simeon, Mammon, Belphegor | ³ Lucifer, Satan, Solomon.

+ LOVE AND DEEPSPACE: ¹ Sylus | ² Rafayel | ³ Zayne, Xavier.

+ LOVE AND PRODUCER: ¹ Shaw | ² Gavin | ³ Victor.

+ WHAT IN “HELL” IS BAD?: ¹ Satan, Lucifer, Leviathan | ² Zagan, Gusion, Belphegor.

+ GHIBLI: ¹ No Face, Soot Sprites, Kamaji, Zeniba, Yubaba, Haku, Shō, Turnip Head, Howl | ² Lin, Fujimoto, Lisa, Jiji, Catbus.

+ TOKYO GHOUL: ¹ Uta | ² Naki, Nishio, Touka, Ayato, Shuu, Akira, Juuzou, Seidou, Hideyoshi | ³ Yamori, Kuzen, Arata, Banjou, Kotarou, Kureo | ⁴ Ken, Tatara, Eto, Rize, Arima, Urie, Saiko, Shirazu, Hanbee, Nimura.

+ THE CONJURING UNIVERSE: Valak (fun fact #2: I actually dislike the movies. I just like Valak; a male demon who pretends to be—and presents himself as—a brutally unholy nun so as to mock real nuns, is somewhat quirky, has dark humour surprise surprise and also looks sort of hot? Ya lol)

+ THE MARVEL UNIVERSE: ¹ Venom | ² The Wolverine | ³ Carnage, Deadpool.

©𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨

[merry-kuroo]

Top 10 2020 Anime

Hello everyone! Its the last day of 2020, and like with every year, here is my top 10 anime list. This list covers anime that aired this year only :) Hopefully you can use this list as a recommendation for something to watch. But tbh this list is for me to remember which wonderful anime made my year a little brighter :D I apologize for any typos lol.

1.) Tower of God

AHHH! I love Tower of God so much!! So, I almost dropped it at episode 1 because I was really confused. But I stuck with it and I’m glad I did. Tower of God gave me HxH vibes, but it was still different enough where I didn’t need to compare the two. The opening and ending by Stray Kids was amazing too.

Because I loved Tower of God so much, I made a Webtoon account and ever since then I’ve been hooked on Webtoons. I’m really glad they partnered with Crunchyroll to bring us this anime!

I read the TOG Webtoon and it explained things a lot better. I highly recommend going to read it after watching the anime!

I hope there is a season 2, but I won’t get my hopes up :( I’m sure this anime was just advertisement for the comic.

So, yeah, go check out Tower of God <3

2.) Great Pretender

WIT Studio has done it again. First with Attack on Titan, then Seraph of the End. They keep bringing me my favorite animes.

I love animes that feature a found family, and cons. Great Pretender brought all of that and more. Great characters, jokes, missions, and music. The music in Great Pretender is fantastic (I mean the ending song is a Queen song!)

I still stand by my opinion that Part 1 was better. I wasn’t a huge fan of season 2 and the ending as well. I think they dropped the ball. But I still won’t let that stop me from recommending it to you! It was still fun to watch :D

I’m going to miss Team Confidence <3

3.) Weathering With You

So, I have been a fan of Makoto Shinkai’s movies for a long time (5 Centimeters Per Second will always have a special place in my heart). So, when I saw that Weathering With You was coming to the movie theater, I immediately purchased a ticket. It was such a surreal experience watching in the theaters.

This was the last movie I saw in theaters before...you know >.> I’m glad this movie was my last too. It makes it even more special.

Everyone, please go see this movie. It’s beautiful. It will make you laugh and cry. I left the theater with tears in my eyes. It was such a amazing experience. I’m patiently waiting for his next movie!

4.) Kaguya Sama: Love is War Season 2

My favorite rom-com returned with a season 2. The opening is still stuck in my head. It always will be lol.

Anyway, this season was not only hilarious, but there was development between Kaguya and Miyuki <3

Miko IIno was also a interesting character. She is so different from everyone else, so I’m excited to see how being on the student council will change her. Maybe she and Ishigami will start to get long lol.

Another thing that made this season special was Ishigami’s backstory, and how Miyuki saved him. I just really love their bromance, okay?

Please go check out Kaguya Sama: Love is War if you haven’t! It’s funny and heart warming <3

5.) Jujutsu Kaisen

I’ve been hyped for this anime for like a year! When it was announced last November, I was like AFJAIOFJAOGLJMAPOGJ

I love the manga, and the adaption is doing a fantastic job so far. I definitely ended up loving Sukuna more due to the anime adaption though lmaooo.

Not a lot to say here except, go watch Jujutsu Kaisen <3 and read the manga!

6.) Moriarty the Patriot

I wasn’t sure if I was going to like this anime or not. I only started watching it because people said Sebastian Moran was Daddy! Kuroo lmaooo

But I have to say...I do like that Albert was like “Oh yes lets bring William and Albert into our home” then William was like “Haha hey Albert do you hate the upper class and nobility too? You wanna murder your brother and parents, burn down the house, and reform society?” And Albert is like “DON’T MIND IF I DO!” (The Moriarty brothers are wild af, my God.)

I liked each individual case, and it got even more intense when Sherlock and John were introduced. Super excited for season 2!

The opening and ending songs are also fantastic. Go give them a listen!

7.) Digimon Adventure 2020/Digimon Adventure Tri/Last Evolution Kizuna

Tfw you go to buy tickets Digimon Last Evolution Kizuna, but all the movie theaters shut down :(

ANYWAY

I was super hyped when Last Evolution Kizuna was announced, and then the reboot of the 1999 anime. I finished up Digimon Adventure Tri...which could’ve been better tbh. I only liked the first three movies, so at least I got some good content out of them lol.

I like the new spin on the new Digimon anime, and I’m excited to see what they’ll do next. I kinda want a reboot of 02 Digimon...and Digimon Tamers and Frontier, but that may be pushing it lmao.

Last Evolution Kizuna was absolutely phenomenal. It was the perfect 20th anniversary movie :)

8.) Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

Another show I started at the beginning of the year! I read the manga in 2019, and I was happy to hear it was getting a anime adaption! I enjoyed this series a lot, and I really want there to be a second season. I feel like some stuff was left out. But the anime might have been created just to promote the manga.

The opening song, the different wonders of the school, and the art style quickly made this one of my favorites!

9.) Idolish7 Second Beat

Idolish7 is vastly underrated. It’s more than just pretty guys singing and dancing. Every character in the show has gone through their own hardships, and all the characters are fleshed out well.

The second season did not disappoint. It still served me with a good dose of angst, drama, and comedy.

And season 3 was announced!!! I wasn’t expecting that, so that surprise made me really happy <3.

I was really sad when Idolish7 stopped airing back in the spring, but I’m glad they were able to finish up the season this year :D

10.) Haikyuu!! To the Top

Alright, so my excitement deflated when Part 1 aired back in January. I hated the new art style and while Part 1 did have some good character development moments, I was really bored :/

The OVAs were really good though >.> I love Nekoma and Fukrodani so those were fun to watch.

Part 2 was a 100 times better. I accepted the fact that the art style wasn’t going to change and we wouldn’t have those cute breaks where the volleyball players would serve the ball and hit the water bottle. Once I got over that, I found myself enjoying part 2.

The two Nekoma episodes,the episodes focusing on the Miya Twins and Kita were my personal favorites. But overall, Karasuno vs. Inarizaki was fantastic and I enjoyed it a lot!

I need season 5 to be announced already!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Art of Conveyance and Round-Trippery' Liveblog!

Sorry this is a few days late!! I moved across the country this weekend, we drove like 13 hours within 2 days and we did a lot of heavy lifting. I'm exhausted, but the boxes are slowly emptying and I've been wanting to watch this episode so gd bad, so LESGO

Over halfway through the season!!!! That's absolutely surreal

1:11 oooh they're getting their royal fitting

1:22 LMAOO WTF 😂😂 Princess Diaries vibes

1:42 ✨CONFIDENCE✨

1:52 Alfonse is a perfect name for that guy HAHA

2:05 Nathaniel, my guy, you've made some points

2:11 "do you feel your power?" POWER RANGERS, GO

2:24 no no hesitation just prolly thinkin bout how he was caught cheatin

2:39 "can you not allow yourselves luxury?" okay fr I feel that I get Nice Things Guilt(tm) too easily

2:52 dayummmm let's talk about Sticky being a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, mans is brave as fuck under extreme pressure and loyal to the point of putting himself on the line

3:15 bro Sticky getting some recognition. Love to see it, he deserves it

3:19 "is that a coincidence? Or written in the stars?" IS DR. CURTAIN CATCHING ON THAT THEY KNEW EACH OTHER BEFORE OR LIKEEEE

3:49 WHAT WORD AROUND CAMPUS 😭😭😭 MY BOYS ARE NOT A MISTAKE HOW DARE YOU

4:09 why doess the action of Dr. Curtain putting the sash on them seem so nefarious

4:36 I dont really understand the whole pastel yellow, blue, and pink palette of the school but the boys both look pretty okay in their vest-sash getup

4:42 THE OPENINGGGGG. This shit slaps.

5:41 Kate and Constance look so fucking cute in that shot, dont ask me why but hnnggggg

5:54 sash rope 😂😭 kate, honey, that's a reach

6:09 it might feel buttery, but, my guy, it also looks buttery. It's literally the color of butter. Get yourself some crisco

6:24 I find it kinda interesting that they made up new riddles for the show, I'm almost positive that that one wasn't in the book. Correct me if I'm wrong though

7:03 "I'm not gonna apologize for knowing things" the sass. the ✨confidence✨. living for it

7:03 If they build on that it sets Sticky up really nicely for the arc in the second book where he starts to show off a little

7:15 tiny Constance who is constantly dressed in pink with cute little braids is the perfect medium for the most morbid comments 😂😂

7:55 Martina's hot in her uniform. Can't prove me wrong.

8:15 why does that make me sad 🥺 eat with your friendssss. iirc they only talked about eating at the Messenger table in the books

8:26 dipshits forgot their lunches. Seems Constance is holding the communal braincell atm

8:50 anyone have Guiness on speed dial? Reynie and Sticky have a submission for them

9:25 oh hello this was alluded to in the preview!!! Morse code is compromised, rip

10:05 so are Jackson and Jillson stuck with night guard duty all the time?? They've been outside at night a lot

10:18 ahhhhhh the little blinkie light, stopppp

10:25 MILLIGANNNNN!!!

10:25 so is this the point where he starts staying on the island with them????

10:39 so are they just like "fuck it we'll do it right before sundown" ???? Like Jackson and Jillson are still gonna be on the lookout, they aren't gonna chill just because it's not fully dark

10:50 did the kids.....just not tell them that Mr. Bloom was on the island 😂 nice oversight guys

11:05 MADGE TIME MADGE TIME

11:05 remind me to tell you guys a story about Madge, I may or may not have done something irl a few years ago that would make y'all proud 😂😂😂

11:16 idk why but it makes me so happy that they kept Madge as a peregrine falcon

11:37 Rhonda, my love, you have my heart in your hands

11:46 roll credits

12:05 THE HEAD SHAKE HAHAHAH

12:06 Awww man, I was so excited for Milligan to be on the island .-. He must have been scoping out the inlet

12:07 "they're quite regal" A. I read the subtitles as "legal" the first time and that's somehow really in character for him, and B. IS MILLIGAN GOING TO NAME HER???!? HER MAJESTY???? PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH

12:15 his grimace KILLS ME

12:17 the hard cut from Nicholas in a brown setting and brown suit to Nathaniel in a blue setting and blue suit was lowkey striking

12:36 are they looking up Morse code 😳 can you imagine if they wrote down the message and are now decoding it

12:41 omfg all that for a HAT 🙃 I feel stupid

12:51 two things: 1. Those walls are atrocious, and 2. Yeah, talk about Morse code in a louder voice Connie girl, you're just in a public hallway

13:03 I'm sorry but those orange pillar things are not the vibe

13:03 the golden gate bridge called, they want their arches back

13:10 please let Kate climb the tower before the end of season 1. please.

13:22 y'all are about to be flying something else 😎

13:33 cleansing breaths

13:47 OH HELLO MESSENGER DUTY ALREADY??

14:06 what the heck is that teal pole for 😭😭

14:12 blindfold timeeee

I'm so sorry but I'm exhausted, it's 11:30 pm on Sunday night right now, I'll finish this episode tomorrow morning after I get some sleepies

~~

Good morningggg lesgetatit

14:50 "vomit of metal" ashhdjdjd

15:16 a wild Martina appears!

15:36 and if you folks look to your left, you'll see a wild Constance being the voice of reason once again

15:57 "lose the bucket" "I'm not gonna do that" HELL YEAH KATE

16:07 I get not having the bucket on the court lolol, I thought Martina was telling Kate to lose the bucket in general. Like, yeah, good luck convincing her to so that

16:35 show!Kate is much angrier than book!Kate and I'm still deciding how I feel about that. The Kate we've known from the books is a sunshine baby with looots of repressed trauma.

17:03 ......what is that. why is that.

17:11 WAIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE REYNIE AHEHDJDJD

17:15 HI MADGE

17:41 the grand swell in the music makes me think it's going to go comically wrong

17:51 she's majestic because she's a queen 🥺

18:03 LMAO CALLED IT

18:14 Rhonda and Number Two getting at each other is such a sisterly thing to do 😂😂😂

18:37 ohhhhh? Someone's approaching? Miss Perumal perhaps????

18:45 YEAHHHHH BABY

18:50 PROTECTIVE MOM COMIN IN HOT!!!

19:22 THEYRE SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭 I feel like I've been subconsciously starved for her and Mr. Benedict's interactions

19:36 died at that line in the one trailer

20:00 so Miss Perumal pulled a Sherlock Holmes. Love that for her

20:20 Cheri Tupintown??? Of all the aliases they could pick, Cheri Tupintown???

20:33 "Power in Truth Inc" that HAS to be something Rhonda came up with

21:01 you can literally watch Mr. Benedict realize that this is a woman not to be fucked with and he is CORRECT

21:23 "he's fine. Perfectly fine." At this, Mr. Benedict's pants caught aflame.

21:52 something about Constance sitting in on practice!!! It scratches an itch!!!!

22:19 "incorporate the helix. Live in the helix." Lord Helix is pleased with this offering.

22:26 so what I'm hearing is Kate is going to blow up on Constance for messing with the bucket

23:13 unrelated but Jillson'a shoes are cute

23:29 why does this room give off Johnny Depp's willy wonka vibes

24:13 that looks like a chair from a doctor's office waiting room 😭

25:29 they do be egg heads tho

26:02 baby girl, I have no idea why you're crying at weird art but let me dry your tears 🥺🥺

26:50 SHE FOUND ITTTT

27:27 okay Indiana Jones, go off

27:46 why did that kinda sound like Miss Perumal

28:43 the return of everyone's favorite, "enjoyable"

29:05 not that I'm not loving the ice breaker questions and the one-sided conversation, but I'm not loving it

29:22 oh so we're getting right into it aren't we

29:54 his eyes being open again makes this infinitely creepier

30:36 "where's your proof?" Miss Perumal doesnt fuck around!!!

31:29 you're telling me Constance has been there all day?? And Kate went to find her???? 🥺

31:58 oh so we're getting right to it then?? Kate addressing her independence and trust issues arc????

33:29 NEWS!!!!

33:49 CONSTANCE RIDING PIGGYBACK!!!!!!

34:04 okay, so they opened the murder hole, what are they gonna do now

34:59 Italian? 🤨 m'sir that is so fancy

34:59 fun story I learned Italian diction in college, so I know a little bit

35:16 "take your time" the whisperer says, immediately repeating the prompt to get the answer sooner

35:31 theeeeere it is

35:46 SOMETHING ABOUT THE WHISPERER SAYING "YOU ARE HOME" 😭😭😭 the show really played up the cult shit!!

36:02 Kate being protective of Constance 🥺

36:20 ohhh shit is it time for Connie girl to have double Reynie? Double Sticky?

36:36 STICKY

36:52 "what kind of nonsense?" HAVE THEY NOT ASKED THAT BEFORE THIS?????

37:14 "and your tiny brain can somehow pick it up!!" KATE STOP 😂😂😂

37:16 "I knew you had to be special in some way." WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

37:51 she's right, this is disregard for their safety. The show made Mr. Benedict and his team a lot more back-alley and dishonest, and Miss Perumal has every reason to be pissed

38:30 oh good they finally remembered he has narcolepsy

39:38 and the best mom award goes to:

40:38 I was gonna say that this hallway is how I imagined the KEEP in riddle of ages but then I remembered that (spoilers) the Institute is the KEEP

40:46 oh, hello propoganda

41:10 that's the other person Rhonda couldn't contact, along with Mr. Bloom. This has to be the brainsweeping process

41:22 yeppppp

41:44 this dark doctor's office theme gives me horror movie vibes

42:22 ohhhh, so that's how they replaced that scene where the four of them jump in a crate to hide and Sticky drops his glasses in the open

42:47 and so we've come to the part of the story where Sticky and Reynie become infinitely more conflicted

42:47 and since we've reached that point..... can we have the white knight scene? Pretty please? Please Disney I'm begging you-

43:12 so Reynie just figured that out without Constance? :/

44:03 love the manipulation

44:31 I'm sorry, the farm?

44:35 farm and forest????

45:16 "the Emergency has served its purpose" 😳 well okay then murder man

45:39 "one thought, one purpose" the hive mind rises once more

45:48 LOVE THE MANIPULATION

46:07 "what have you done to earn anyone's trust?" VALID

46:26 "please do!" WHY AM I EMOTIONAL

47:06 "we still have the falcon" that you do 😂

47:19 AYYY HERE WE GO!!! Time for Milligan to stay on the island??

47:49 ohhhh Constance, casual telepath strikes again

48:16 "stop it, Kate!" OOOOHHHHH

48:53 that line ("it would be nice to be unburdened") would be funny as shit if not for the fact that Constance is a telepath unbeknownst to herself and can both subconsciously perceive people's thoughts and hear the subliminal messages

49:20 HI MRS. PERUMAL!!!

49:25 wow, she's really going through with it 😳 not that I doubted her, but still, that's dedication

49:39 OH SHIT

50:17 oh, so he's an asshole to SQ too. Got it. Torches and pitchforks? Ready to kick his ass?

50:40 "for the moment, anyway" FUCKIN WHAT

This episode was really good!!! They covered a LOT. I hope Miss Perumal comes back to the group and talks about her findings, I hope Milligan goes to get the kids and they tell him no, and I hope they get that classic 4-person Society brainstorming and binding time that hits that sweet spot

[dottiechan]

Tempest (Pt. 5)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Read on AO3

Pairing: Ava Du Mortain x f!Detective

Wordcount: 4048

Warnings: mourning, mentions of death and torture, smoking

Summary: The private detective must work through the sudden and unexpected disappearance of Ava - quite literally, as she embarks on solving her greatest mystery yet. But she is not the only one who's been busy...

A/N: This chapter is a rather long one as there's much to unpack at this point of the story, and there is much to explain. Sorry for the long wait, and thanks for being so patient and supportive of me!

The Private Detective’s Office, London, 1898

5 months after Ava’s disappearance

The key turns in the lock with ease. The door creaks as it gives way to the dark office. The lights flicker in the corridor outside, and the entrance gapes like a mouth ready to swallow her whole.

She steps inside, unaware of her fingers skittering across the glass pane that has the name of her detective agency painted on it. Some have great bloodlines to look back on, and nobles and kings to proudly call their ancestors. Her legacy is this stuffy little office, her sigil is a hand painted business logo. But her ancestor - her father - was a warrior too, noble of heart, even if not of blood.

She hangs her coat and hat, and proceeds to smooth down her hair before locking the door and switching on the lights. The old pieces of furniture that would have been regarded fashionable 20 years ago are dimly illuminated, and the sight of them makes her heart ache. They belonged to her late father, and in a way he lives on through them. The dent in the cushion of his chair where he always used to sit, the scuff marks on his desk he carelessly carved into the polished surface with books and folders, the medical and law tomes he hoarded lining the bookshelves that hug the dark green walls... As a child, she was afraid of coming here in the evenings - something they often did after her mother passed away and her father tried his best to raise her alone. The heavy nailhead leather armchairs looked like hunched monsters in the dark, the looming mahogany desk with its long curving legs resembled a giant spider, and the serious wallpaper enveloped this macabre scene like some sinister forest. “The real monsters are in here, my darling,” her father would ruffle her hair affectionately, pointing at the files he came to pick up.

It is late, but the office no longer feels scary. Her rational mind knows she should have gone home to her empty bed and her unread books and the cold supper awaiting her. And yet she’s here because hardly anything matters anymore. Because no place ever really feels like home ever since her father left. Well, her small house felt like home for a while when she was still here. But she left as well, and with her she took the last tattered shreds of joy the detective had somehow managed to cling to. She is submerged in saturnine reticence now, and ironically it helps her stay focused, even though it makes her more and more like the person she tried to thaw out. More and more like Ava.

One should only embrace the iciness of a statue if they’re willing to risk turning into marble themselves.

The Commissioner would be lucky to have a detective such as myself, she thinks bitterly as she glances down at the neatly kept files piled on her desk. Most are petty cases, even she has to admit - cheating husbands, unanswered invitations and letters, and the likes. But she takes all the work she can, and she prides herself on her ability to solve them with the proficiency of a man. Ava used to praise her for that. Now she whispers praises to herself even if the words turn sour in her mouth, because she will not let anyone ruin her. She will not. (Even though Ava has, because the world feels different without her in it.)

Her sudden disappearance left her on the precipice of panic at first. Ava, along with her partner Nate, simply vanished into thin air as if they never even existed at all, as if they were a pleasant reverie she used to lull herself to sleep at night. No trace, no item that belonged to them was left behind. If not for the spare key to her house being gone - the one she gave to Ava - she wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference between reality and her mad suspicions. But oh, she was here. She was. Missing her is a malady burrowed in her heart, but it is also the testament of her existence.

She opens the file on top, and hums in bitter satisfaction. Right. The aching of her heart isn’t the only testament anymore. It took her months, but she’s finally one step closer to the solution, planting her foot firmly and holding her crumbling sanity together with a determination she didn’t know she had. Ava was probably never meant to be in the background of a photograph taken during the opening night of the National Gallery of British Art.

But she was. And it really only takes one mistake.

The private detective picks up the photograph gingerly, giving herself one second to lose herself in the whirlwind of emotions Ava’s angular silhouette awakens in her.

One step closer.

She leans back in her chair, her gaze gliding over the photograph and landing on her personal little project. The blackboard is filled with dates, locations and places with a map pinned to the middle of it - by now, it is practically a blueprint of Ava’s and Nate’s every activity over the past two years. The deeper she digs, the more unknowns she unearths about the people she once thought she knew.

But there’s still time to get to know them - first impressions are overrated anyway.

Train station, Wayhaven, 1899

7 months after Ava’s disappearance

January quickly set to work and changed the countryside. It swooped down from the heavens and gently buried the forests and the hills under a heavy blanket of snow, concealing the detective’s childhood home from her as she exits the train, the handle of her heavy bag already digging into her gloved fingers. The shapes are still visible though underneath all the snow and ice - she sees the old station with the crumbling roof, the road leading into town, the bell tower of the small church peeking out just above the treeline. She recognises them all, though she sorely wishes she didn’t.

Because with the recognition comes the inevitable sting of her memories. Faces emerge in her conscious she hasn’t seen in years. The kindness of her mother’s eyes and the curve of his father’s lips, both lost forever now, never to be seen again, cutting deeper than a knife ever could.

An old woman is prating about her insufferable nephew, a business man is constantly checking his pocket watch with a disdainful look from across the station, three young women gossip, a man is rubbing his hands together in an effort to stimulate his circulation in the cold weather. The detective tunes out the comfortable commotion of the small town station, imagining she is still in London and not here. Anywhere but here. People brush past her, the train whistles and whirs to motion, and before she knows it, she is alone, paralysed in one spot, snowflakes catching softly on her fetching ensemble of a royal blue travelling dress and matching hat.

She takes a shaky breath, almost already on the verge of tears.

“Are you alright, Miss?”

No.

“Of course,” she turns with a slight smile. “Just admiring the view. I used to live here.”

“Ah, then the gossip about you was true,” the man nods, his eyes glinting intelligently under his bushy brows. There’s an apologetic smile sitting on his lips, and a twinge of regret spoiling the beauty of his otherwise handsome square jaw and bold features. “I apologise, I couldn’t help but overhear some women on the train talking about your father. About you.”

“I didn’t know our name carried such weight,” the detective admits cautiously, one hand reaching up to fix her hat self-consciously. The man seems to notice the way her fingers linger over the hat pin, and he almost cracks a grin. It would be a highly inappropriate moment to joke, and besides, he’d rather befriend this interesting person than anger her to a point where he’d end up being skewered by the hat pin in question. After all, her friendship and assistance is why he’s here.

“Your father served in India with Sir Edward Bardford, the current Police Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police,” he adds gently. “You were betrothed to Montagu Edward Bradford.”

“How do you know about that?” the woman asks, her eyes widened by shock as she takes a step closer to him.

“Who didn’t Montagu tell?”

The strained grin the stranger allows himself seems to put her momentarily at ease. Montagu did tell everyone, God rest his soul. In a way, she could never really begrudge him for the betrothal - it was their fathers’ scheming, even if Montagu really didn’t seem to mind. She always wanted a way out, but she never wished for his death. He was in India when it had happened, and she was in London. In a way, even 9 years after, it feels surreal. She never saw the body. For years afterwards, she sincerely thought he would turn up one day unexpectedly as if nothing had happened.

He never did.

“How awfully rude of me to not even introduce myself!” he exclaims suddenly, sheepishly sticking out his hand. “Dr Van Helsing. Abraham Van Helsing.”

“I believe Mont had spoken about you,” she nods as she shakes his hand, deliberately squeezing his fingers with more force than a mere handshake would warrant. Yet another trick she learned from Ava.

“I hope so. We were... we were quite close. I know it’s been a while since he...” Van Helsing pauses as he withdraws his hand and waves it in the air before drawing it up to his ginger curls. “Please accept deepest my condolences.”

“Thank you, Dr Van Helsing.”

Her tone signals the end of the conversation, and she nods her head stiffly before turning. She knew coming back here would unearth the loss of her parents, but she is not ready to speak of Montagu yet. She bared her soul once regarding the matter, and only to one person, but she will not repeat the experience again. As liberating as it had been to tell Ava everything, she wishes to leave this heartache and guilt where it belongs - in the past.

“Please wait. We got off on the wrong foot! I didn’t come here to ask you personal questions - in fact, it is a disappearance that I was hoping to discuss with you.”

“You are a physician, not an inspector, correct?” she asks over her shoulder, not bothering to slow down her steps as she strides towards an unclaimed hansom.

“Yes, but-”

“Are you here to hire me?”

“No-”

“Then we have nothing to talk about, Dr Van Helsing. Good day.”

The driver, smelling a wealthy client who’s just arrived from London, clambers down from his seat quickly to open the door for her to get in. Just before she could disappear inside, the physician speaks again.

“I’m trying to find Miss Ava Du Mortain and Mr Nathaniel Sewell. I was hoping we could help each other out, but more importantly, I was hoping to warn you.”

“Warn me?” the detective pauses, looking back at Van Helsing with genuine shock on her prepossessing features.

“They’re not who you think they are - what you think they are.”

There’s a stretch of silence between them as her eyes assess the tall, lanky man as he stands just before the hansom, hands stuffed into his coat pockets, his breath fogging in the chill air as he looks back at her expectantly. The nerve on this man alone is making the private detective want to leave him high and dry in the snow, but her insides twist and her pulse quickens at the mention of Ava’s name. She’s all but given up hope - for months now, she could find nothing regarding the woman and her partner, or the Agency they claimed to work for. She knows virtually nothing about this man, but her need to find Ava outweighs her better judgement.

“Are you hungry, Dr Van Helsing?” she asks, scooting further down the seat to make room for the man.

“Is eating and working on disappearance cases simultaneously a habit of yours, Miss?” the physician asks as he climbs in next to her.

“And here I was trying to be nice. I suppose I will not offer to pay for your lunch then.”

“I take it all back! I am positively famished.”

Meanwhile, across the train station

Lucille Licht twirls her cane, lips pressed into a disdainful frown. Cities at least have crowds upon crowds of people to distract her, but small towns such as Wayhaven hold no entertainment value whatsoever. She isn’t here on pleasant business anyway, she thinks to herself as she sighs, pulling her fur coat tighter around the expensive suit she’s wearing. No, she is here on ghastly business indeed, even by demon standards. But the prophecy was clear - though irritatingly vague too, no doubt to account for the rather large margin of error witches have these days in their prophecies. They’re more lawyers than soothsayers by now, their profession diluted by those who hunger for nothing but profit and security, and who are willing to sacrifice quality for those two aforementioned gains. Lucille finds sordid business such as this distasteful, even in her line of work. Falling from grace is one thing, but living in the Agency’s ever growing shadow is no excuse not to have honour among thieves. Or rogues. Or both, when it comes to the social circles she frequents.

A small voice in the back of her head whispers sadly, poisoning the faux assuredness she’s lulled herself into on the train. She’s just like I was, in a strange way. Before it all happened. And now I’m about to do the same horrible things to her that were done to me.

But the private detective is the one she’s been waiting for. She has to be. It all fits - the dead father, the career, the place where she was born. Lucille can’t smell anything strange about her blood yet, but she is sure she can bring about the power that was promised to reside in her veins. She has her ways, and her old magic, and her knife. And most importantly, her determination.

It was centuries ago, when she was stripped and bound and the curse was carved into her flesh. Strange, how vividly one can remember a single terrible moment, even centuries later. Even though the ancient magic rendered her undead, she can still feel the searing pain all over her body, red lines raging like fire in the form of symbols and Echolian text. It made her immortal, but it also bound her to her creator. He is the reason why she’s on the hunt. Why she is desperate to gain power beyond what she could achieve alone. Even as a human, as a meagre farmer’s child, she was roaming the fields of her father as she pleased. She was free. It was so long ago that she can’t even remember the name her parents gave her, but her freedom she remembers.

And nobody enslaves Lucille Licht and gets away with it.

Her slow burn vendetta must be coming to an end soon. There’s only so much of the supernatural underworld she can bring under her control - what she has will have to suffice. She already runs a widespread rogue organisation, with its key leadership positions held by her loyal Daughters, as she eloquently calls the women she’s bound to her service over the centuries the same way she was bound once. A necessary evil. Pawns in the game she plays with the Ancient One. There is nothing she wouldn’t do to ensure her victory in the coming battle. I will not be outwitted again by that Echolian bastard, she thinks, whacking away at a nearby bush with her cane. Specks of snow and ice glitter where her hits land. And yet she always finds herself hesitating before turning another human.

The abhorred feeling of helplessness always comes creeping back. As well as the pain, and the panic of thinking your life is about to end. She has to push it all down. Grit her teeth and get it over with. Months of preparation leading up to the final act that barely lasts ten minutes. And then you wait, and 3 days later their pain and mortality will be but a distant memory.

But she’s slipping. She no longer only hesitates before, now the intrusive self-doubt catches up to her after the rituals too. The Ancient One is still the centre of her nightmares, but the dream has changed. She is no longer the helpless little lamb brought to the slaughter. She is one with the Ancient One, his hand is hers too as it raises the knife, their voices merging together as they chant the same curse together.

She knew this victory would cost her everything. But she never imagined the real price to pay would be stepping up to fill the void the Ancient One’s death will create.

Lucille never wanted to be like him. She only ever wanted to kill him. But it seems those two things are one and the same.

She awakens from her thoughts when the man joins the private detective in the hansom. An annoying little man, that Dr Van Helsing is, though harmless in the grand scheme of things. It doesn’t matter that he’s taken care of a Transylvanian rogue vampire with his entourage, it would take far more to stop her plans now. Lucille focuses on the woman instead, letting her will force itself into her mind. All too easy, she raises her eyebrows in an unimpressed fashion as she flicks through her thoughts as if she were reading the latest issue of The Times. She thought she would be more difficult to read. To control. But alas, she is just like everyone else, aside from the love that seems to seep out of her every thought for none other than Agent Du Mortain.

She grins, remembering her failed attempt at getting to the private detective earlier. She’s learned several invaluable lessons in those two years. One, you can’t trust dark elf mercenaries, no matter how much you pay them. Two, it’s better to divert the attention of the Agency first before you try to kidnap someone who has important connections in the London Metropolitan Police. Three, love makes people do really, really stupid things.

Thankfully, Lucille Licht is a smart woman, and an even better strategist - not to mention a quite powerful demon with telepathic abilities and her boot firmly planted on the supernatural underground’s neck - and this time, she has learned from all three of her mistakes. This time, there will be no Agent Du Mortain rushing to the rescue. (But that doesn’t mean she can’t use her name as bait, yes?)

Cemetery, Wayhaven, 1900

1 year and 8 months after Ava’s disappearance

He doesn’t appreciate being jerked around the way he has been lately, but he isn’t a man to grumble too much either. He was closest to the backwater little town, he gets to check out the possible supernatural case. Everyone draws the short straw sometimes, and he’s learned to cope with it. He has certainly lived long enough to do so.

The wind shifts, and suddenly Agent Fuller’s nostrils are invaded by the stench of magic. Things finally start looking up for him, and that thought alone is enough to make him pick up his pace, excitement coursing through his body. He lights a cigarette to conceal the smirk threatening to overtake his lips when he sees the pallid looks of the constables as they pass him by. One stops him to ask what his business is out here, but the Agency has already notified the meagre Wayhaven police force, and he is soon on his way again to the centre of the commotion. Cemetery of the commotion would be a more accurate description though - the little town was as dead in the mid-February frost as a place could get, and aside from the bored stationmaster who gave him directions, these men are the first living beings he’s encountered since his arrival.

“Name’s Agent Fuller. What can you tell me about the crime scene, constable?” Fuller asks as he exhales a lungful of smoke, turning to the least disturbed looking man surveying the scene.

“Welcome to the middle of nowhere, sir. Why don’t you come see for yourself?”

A handshake and a suppressed grin later Fuller follows the young man down a row of tombs. They take a sharp turn to the left, and immediately it is clear why he was called here. The sight is confirmation enough, but the smell of potent and ancient magic is the real giveaway.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a walker,” Fuller snorts as he crouches down, picking up a piece of the crumbled marble.

“The poor woman was buried only 3 days ago,” the constable mutters, rubbing his hands together before bringing them to his lips and blowing hot air onto them, desperately attempting to revitalise his frozen fingers. “Who could do such a monstrous thing?”

“Indeed, who could...” the agent mutters, too focused to really pay attention to the human on his right. The tomb was torn open, the coffin deserted, the body missing. It coincides with many reports made over the centuries - it’s unfortunately not rare for the dead to be taken and repurposed again for magic, but this particular pattern is characteristic of demonic rogues having too much time on their necromantic little hands. He will need to consult a few colleagues to confirm it, but the 3 days and the apparent magic hanging in the air is all the evidence he needs right now.

He stands, the lapels of his dark coat flapping in the chilly wind ominously. There’s a page typed up about the busy life of his missing body in his pocket, crumpled around the edges from being handled carelessly, but he takes it out to skim over it again. That’s when he spots the little detail about the private detective’s history with the Agency that he seemed to have missed the first time around.

‘1896-1898: under Agency protection

Threat: classified

Agents on the case: A. Du Mortain, N. Sewell’

The Agency gossips like there’s no tomorrow, and ever since Lady Ashbury’s return to the main facility, the gossip about the ‘Ice Queen’ and her pet detective have been the most fashionable thing to blabber on about. And since Fuller has been to the scene, it will be him who will have to provide all the answers when Du Mortain comes with her demanding questions, no doubt breaking down doors in the process as it is in her nature. Fuller is by no means a man who shies away from conflict or hard work, but he’s never been particularly good with emotions. Explaining to a lovesick elder vampire that her alleged lover is now very dead, and also quite probably the plaything of a very bored and elusive demon who likes to play with necromancy is not a task he would gladly carry out.

“Well, shit.”

Fuller shoves the page back into his pocket and sighs. He should retire and buy a house in the wilderness. Get a cat. Maybe try some cocaine - he once saw Heinrich Quincke use it for spinal anaesthesia before one of his surgeries, and have been meaning to try it out ever since. But he does none of those things - he never does.

He walks back the way he came, trying to prepare himself for the most awkward conversation of the century.

Needless to say, he couldn’t prepare himself for what was to come. But for once, he couldn’t feel mad about a messy situations. He just felt a little more hollow afterwards. And then he got another case as this one was closed and the woman was declared dead once more. And he moved on.

But, like with all his cases ending in death, he never forgot.

[sammy-gvf]

Buckys Pin

- IMAGINE/ONESHOT-

40s!Bucky Barnes x reader

Age restriction : None

Warnings : None, just pure fluff

Preface -

Bucky’s last night at home.

The year was 1943.

Brooklyn was beautiful this time of year. There was so much to do in town on the warm summer nights, it was like a dream. Tonight though, I am seeing my sweetheart Bucky and we are going to the Stark Expo, something about the future of technology. I could care less about the contents of the expo though, it’s my last night with James.

Sergeant James Barnes is set to leave for the Army, the 107th. Shipping out to England tomorrow.

It was hard enough to see him go for bootcamp, now who knows the next time he will be home.

Bucky has been my man for a long time, even since before the whole draft thing. He is such a beautiful person, a gentleman. We have gone on countless dates and have had many beautiful moments together, I just hope that he is safe when he is away. I can't bear to lose him. Ever.

I will write to him every day. Every. Single. Day.

It's almost 6 oclock, I should probably get ready.

I slip on a beautiful but comfortable dress. It's a blue floral knee length dress that puffs out a little down near the waist with a little plunge in the front. I just know my father is going to make a fuss.

It's my last night with Bucky, I might as well dress a little special for him.

I finish up my hair letting the curls fall down to my shoulder, fluffing them up with a comb and the final touch, hairspray of course. Perfume and a little powder with a red lip should finish the look.

I suddenly hear a knock at the door.

“ Dang it, what time is it “ You start to rush around to find a clock around you.

You check the time. 6:00 on the dot

“ Bucky is always on time, not a bad quality” You say to yourself chuckling, grabbing your things and putting your shoes on.

You grab your blue cardigan and clutch, heading out your bedroom door and into the living room. You get to the living room, looking to the front door where your father and Bucky are standing there talking. Your parents and Bucky have always gotten along for the past 5 years of your dating Bucky. Never a problem, only when he would bring you home late from dancing, which was fine with you. Dancing was your guy's thing, the swaying and the subtle touch of Bucky's hands around your waist just made you feel like you were on cloud nine. Above the clouds, never wanting to come down. Slow dancing was intimate with him, you could smell his cologne and feel his freshly shaved face against your cool skin. You always closed your eyes and wondered how you got so lucky with such a down to earth man. Your hands touch and you lay your head on his shoulder, relaxing against him as you sway along to the beat of the music. His hand in yours, caressing the skin of your hand with his thumbs. He is yours.

Bucky and your dad turn around and turn towards you, both of their faces lighting up with glowing smiles. Bucky has a bouquet of flowers in hand, special for you. Your father knew it was the last time you were seeing Bucky for a long time, so he let a hug and kiss slide in front of him. He knew his little girl's heart was going to be missing a piece of her heart the minute Bucky drops you off at home after your date.

“ You look absolutely stunning doll” Bucky says to you as you give him a wide toothed smile, he always knew how to make you feel like you outshined the other girls

He hands you the bouquet of red roses and you quickly give it to your father to put in a vase.

“ Oh! I forgot to get something for you, hold on just a minute Buck” You say as you shove your clutch into Bucky's hand to hold real quick, him letting out a chuckle and you rush off to your room.

You were going to give him a necklace you had made for him. A sort of parting gift.

It’s a beautiful gold link chain necklace with a circle locket with a picture of you on one side of the locket and on the other side, a picture of you and Bucky.

Something to help him keep you close to him, even during combat. So he knows you are always with him no matter what. No matter where he goes.

You rush out of your room to see your father and Bucky talking on the couch, roses in a vase on the table in front of them making the room smell beautifully. Bucky rises and shakes your fathers hand and you give your father a kiss on the cheek. You take Bucky's hand and he guides you to his car, he opens the door for you and helps you get in.

“ Doll, we are going to have a wonderful night together, I don't want to see you upset.” Bucky says turning towards you while he buckles himself in.

You start to tear up a little bit knowing that this is it. You just have to hold it in.

“ It just feels surreal, you know?” You say looking at him. He has the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen. Everytime he looks at you, his eyes sparkle and you just get lost in them.

“ I know, love.” He says as he raises his hand to caress your cheek where one single tear is finding its way down your skin. The skin of his hand is soft but there's always going to be a certain roughness to them.

You raise your hand to his and hold it as he holds his hand to your face, still holding your slender cheek. Sharing a moment, you just sit there in silence.

He pulls his hand away gently from your face and puts the keys in the ignition.

“We are going to be late, we should get going baby” He says, giving a sort of smirk to you which instantly makes you smile.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You say as you put your seatbelt on, the car starts up and you hear a faint song on the radio, it's quite low.

You guys arrive shortly after being on the road for about 15 minutes, you get out and the sight in front of you makes your eyes glow.

It really is something like you have never seen before. Bright lights and extravagant displays in cases around you as you walk around together, marveling at the stuff on display. Bucky is especially interested in the flying car that Howard Stark is working on.

You continue to walk around with Bucky, looking up at him as you walk together to get glimpses of his beautiful side profile. His hair is hidden by his hat, he has the most beautiful soft brown locks that are always combed to the side to look sleek. His cheekbones are prominent and his pink lips are perfectly soft and plump on their own, his cupids bow is what ties his lips together.

As the night starts to end, you start to realize that you need to give him what you brought with you.

You are sitting on a bench together, people watching like you guys usually do when you go for a picnic with him in the park.

“Did you have fun?” You ask him, he grabs your hand and holds it in his with both hands wrapped around your small hands.

“ Of course,I did. This is how I wanted to spend my last night, with you by my side experiencing what I have left of civilian life.” He says smiling at you, he suddenly gets closer to you holding your hand with his right hand and he slips his left over your shoulder, pulling you close to him.

You lay your head on his shoulder, taking in the world around you. The smells of candy floss and popcorn fill the air, intoxicating your lungs. You slowly put your hand in your pocket as you watch bucky, who is still staring out into the distance admiring the view in front of him.

“I want to give you something, love.” You say, he turns to you and has a smug expression on his face. You hand him the box and you wait to see his reaction.

“ Go ahead, open it” You say nervously.

Bucky slowly opens the box and takes the chain out of it. He holds it up looking at it with admiration, as if he has never received something so beautiful like this.

“Open it, Buck” You say. He opens the locket and starts to get teary eyed, knowing that you put a lot of thought into your gift. He turns to you and gives you a gentle kiss and then stands you both up. He towers over you. He takes your hands and gives you the locket, he turns around and motions you to put it on him. You do with no hesitation. He turns around to face you, taking your hands and looking into your eyes.

“Doll, I love you with every fiber of my being. I will wear this every single day and touch it every time I need a reminder of my girl. You are so perfect and more than I have ever deserved.”

Bucky says, he brings you closer and brings you in for a hug that turns into a bit of a slow dance, the music in the background adding an ambiance.

After the song has ended, you pull away from each other and walk to the car hand in hand, reveling in the moments you have left together.

The ride home is silent but there's a mutual understanding in the air. Not of anger or sadness but of enjoying eachothers company, just being within distance of each other brings a feeling of comfort.

You reach the door of your house and you two just stand there together holding hands. Your father said to be home by 10, it's 9:50. You have only 10 minutes left with your lover boy.

“Buck, I-” You start to say but you are cut off by a soft kiss, his hands are caressing your cheeks and your hands wander up to hold his jaw. You feel as though the kiss lasted forever but it only lasted about a minute, you just wanted it to last a lifetime. He backs up from your face slowly, taking in your soft features.

You start to get visibly upset but you're trying to hold it in for him.

“ Babydoll, I just want you to remember all the good times we have had. Remember when we made Steve ride the Cyclone at Coney Island and he threw up everywhere? Or when we first met? God, I thought I saw an angel in those high school hallways. Steve had to hit me to come back to earth. I had to muster up the courage to come ask you on a date. It was the best decision I have and ever will make. You looked ravishing in the dress you chose to wear when we went dancing for the first time, I almost lost my cool. Not in a bad way, just wanted to pick you up and twirl you around and kiss ya. I’m not leaving forever, doll. I will be back for you, love.” He says holding your face.

You chuckle through the tears that are falling down your cheeks, taking a moment to calm down, you step away for a second to look at your watch on your wrist. The clock strikes 10 o’clock.

You turn around suddenly and give Bucky the tightest hug you could muster up, squeezing him with all your might, never wanting to let up. You pull back and give him a passionate kiss, hoping it will last forever but you start seeing movement in your house. You pull away from Bucky and touch his chest where his pins are. You sneakily take a pin that's on his collar and he just takes a minute to chuckle and let you think you did something sneaky.

The door opens revealing your father and mother.

Bucky turns to you, giving you one final kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight,doll. Sleep well. I love you. See you soon.” He says to you. All you can do is mouth back “ I love you more, goodbye” to him. You feel like if you mutter one word, you'll completely lose it.

You slowly turn to face your parents and you hear him scream out

“ It's not goodbye doll, it’s see you later.” He says. You stand there with your parents as you watch him drive off.

You hold the pin to your heart, keeping it close always.

—————————————————————————————————————

WOW. This was the longest by far. I just hope that you all like the fluff that bucky has to offer!

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged in my writing!! I should be making a masterlist soon.

AS ALWAYS, dont forget to like/reblog/comment !

Tags - @buckysdolls , @local-spacegirl , @ladyfallonavenger , @nerdy-depressed , @youcancallmeishita , @not-another-fangirl

[fyexo]

200924 20 Questions With SuperM: The K-Pop Supergroup On Their New Album & Becoming ‘Like Family’ With Each Other

Last year, SuperM notched a huge win when their self-titled “mini album” debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart. The K-pop supergroup -- which consists of members of EXO, SHINee, NCT 127 and WayV -- had generated a huge amount of buzz before releasing a single track thanks to its star-studded lineup, and with the No. 1 bow, SuperM was off to an explosive start.

With Super One, the group’s first full-length out Friday (Sept. 25), SuperM continues its positive momentum. The hopeful, hook-stuffed album allows all seven members of SuperM to shine, while also expanding the group’s pop aesthetic and finding the right balance between singing and rapping. Songs like “Wish You Were Here,” “Better Days” and lead single “100” demonstrate SuperM’s dexterity -- and even though it’s still uncertain when their global fans will be able to see the songs performed live, the collective sounds prepared to put on an eclectic, wide-ranging show with these tracks.

Ahead of their new album’s release, the members of SuperM answered 20 questions about their musical backgrounds, leaning on each other during the pandemic, the highlights of Super One and more:

1. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

BAEKHYUN: An Avril Lavigne CD. I really liked her music when I was young so I remember going to a CD store with my brother to buy her album.

2. What was the first concert you saw?

KAI: I remember I went to my first concert when I was 16 years old. This was Usher’s concert when he came to Korea. Seeing him perform onstage inspired me to work harder towards my dream to become an artist like him. I still can’t forget the energy and the vibe of people around me and remember wanting to perform on a big stage like that.

3. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

TAEMIN: My mom was the first person actually. When I was very young, she saw how much I enjoyed singing and dancing and encouraged me to audition. Since then, I started moving towards my dream to become an artist and performer. She helped me discover my passion at an early age and encouraged me to do what I love, and for that, I’m forever grateful.

4. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

TAEYONG: I just want everyone I work with to be happy, and work together for a long time. This includes not just SuperM members, but also the rest of the staff and the team behind the scenes that make it all happen!

5. How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

MARK: I think everyone is influenced by their hometown and where they come from. It’s really special to be a K-pop artist and perform in front of fans in Canada, where I’m from. When we performed in my hometown during the world tour earlier this year, it was such a significant “homecoming” moment for me. Canada always has a special place in my heart.

6. What’s the last song you listened to?

LUCAS: The last song I listened to is Justin Bieber’s new song, “Holy.” It’s a great song to listen to when you are feeling tired. I listen to it on repeat when I’m on the move during the day and it puts me in a good mood.

7. If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

TEN: I would choose Michael Jackson, because I always regret that I didn’t get to see him perform onstage live. I look up to him as an artist, and I’d love to see him sing and dance live at one of his concerts.

8. What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your shows?

MARK: Well, one thing that happens at every show is how emotional I get seeing the venue packed with our fans. Before going onstage, I always take a peek at the audience from behind the curtain, and it’s hard to describe the exact feeling in words but it feels surreal — too good to be true, almost. Especially for a standing audience, it’s not easy standing for hours straight in a tight space, but their energy never goes down. I never feel tired onstage because of them. It’s still pretty crazy to me to see and feel their energy every time. I miss them!

9. How has the pandemic affected the way you’ve created music in 2020?

BAEKHYUN: The process of creating music, writing and recording songs, was pretty much the same. However, planning the album promotion during pandemic was a little different, since everything had to be done online. We had to think of fun and unique ways to interact with our fans, from creating our own reality show to holding livestream, AR tech-based concerts. We have a lot more creative content in store for our fans, so stay tuned!

10. What was your reaction to SuperM’s mini album topping the Billboard 200 chart last year?

KAI: Everyone was super happy. We put our heart and soul into the album and worked really hard on it, so in a way, we were looking forward to the results. When we saw that the EP hit number one on the chart, it was one of the happiest moments of our career.

11. What’s the biggest difference, creatively speaking, between last year’s mini album and Super One?

TEN: The mini album was more about introducing SuperM and our SMP-style performances, whereas for Super One, it shows more of our different musical styles and really brings out the dynamic qualities that we possess as a group. So, to put it simply, Super One is the completed version/look of SuperM. Also, what was important for us when creating this album was to include a message of hope and deliver that positivity and strength to listeners. Music can really lift your spirits when you’re feeling down, so I hope people find healing and happiness while listening to our music. That would make us very happy.

12. Why did “100” make the most sense as a lead single?

TAEYONG: “100” is all about speed and energy, so it’s the perfect single to showcase SuperM’s power as the opening act of Super One. It also helps convey the message that we are always moving forward at full-speed, giving our 100% in all we do.

13. What’s one song on the album that you suspect will be a big fan favorite?

LUCAS: I think fans will like “Better Days.” It’s a nice ballad song for a great start to your day. It also contains a message of comfort and empathy to help get through these difficult times. We hope our fans can feel the warmth of this messaging through our vocals and fluid rapping.

14. How has the group bonded during what’s been a wild 2020?

TAEMIN: We’ve been through a lot and have always been there for each other through thick and thin so naturally, we’ve gotten very close. They’re like family now. We didn’t have to “try” to become close, it just naturally happened -- as if we were destined to be in the same group.

15. SuperM has been part of a massive year for the global expansion of K-pop. How does it feel to see so many K-pop songs, albums and artists setting records?

MARK: This makes me really proud. I remember growing up in Canada, a lot of people at my school didn’t know K-pop. It was mainly just popular among Koreans. Now, so many people all over the world know about it and K-pop is getting so much attention. I feel honored and proud to be a part of this movement. Bringing the two cultures closer together and building that bridge through music is such a historic moment, and I can’t wait to contribute more to it and create great music for listeners worldwide.

16. What’s your go-to song that you’ve been singing along to lately?

BAEKHYUN: These days, I have Eric Benet’s “Still with You” on repeat, so I’ve been singing this a lot lately. This was one of my favorite songs in high school, and ever since I started spending more time at home, I’ve been revisiting some of my old favorite playlists. They bring me back to that moment when I was in school, aspiring to become an artist.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

TEN: This always changes, but when I can empathize with the characters in a movie or connect with the emotions in a song, it makes me cry. I recently cried watching the animated film, Grave of the Fireflies. I watched this for the first time when I was young, but re-watching it as an adult touched me in a different way.

18. If you were not a musician, what would you be?

LUCAS: If not a musician, I’d probably be a firefighter – a job that saves other people’s lives is truly inspiring to me. But if not a firefighter, I’d definitely choose a career that make people happy, just like what I try to do now through music and performing.

19. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

KAI: I would tell my younger self to take care of yourself and stay healthy, because health is so important! I would also tell him not to be so hard on himself and enjoy the ride as a young teenager. This is the time for having fun and trying different things! Back then, I was so focused on my career and working towards my dreams that I didn’t spend a lot of time doing “regular teenager experiences,” which I wish I did more of!

20. What’s your message to fans who have been supporting SuperM -- and waiting for this album to arrive?

TAEMIN: It’s been almost a year now since our debut, and we are incredibly grateful to have so many fans cheer us on. We put our heart and soul into the album knowing that our fans have been waiting for a long time. While we’re sad that that we can’t meet them in person, we hope they can feel the positive energy through our songs and performances.

Jason Lipshutz @ Billboard

[curekibouka-writing]

Take My Heart with You (Pandora Hearts one-shot fanfic)

Summary: It is in autumn that she lost him, but it is in autumn that she recalls...

A/N: The more I try to rewrite this, the worse it becomes, so I’m just gonna post it before I ruin it enough to want to delete it. (And I’m already a few days late so...)

@phmonth2021 Rainsworth Trio Week day 5 - Autumn

@i-prefer-the-term-antihero @maddyisenough

*This fic is also on FF.net and Quotev

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“Good day to you, mother,” Sharon kneels before the grave on the right, then turns to the one on the left, “And to you too, Xerx-niisan.”

If not for the cold breezes prodding at her skin (occasionally bringing with them cold memories to prod at her heart), she could hardly believe that it is late autumn again, that a year has almost passed since...

The breeze frolics between her fingers, as if coercing her to recollect his passing, as if coercing her to recollect how his skin was just as cold to the touch.

Back then she dug her nails into his coat until her knuckles turned white as if that would somehow prevent him from slipping away.

Alas, his life was void like this wisp of wind. Her hands feel warm again the next second, not a trace of the scattered zephyr left.

It still feels surreal, how someone she had certainly loved perished in such silence, such mundanity.

And yet she’s still here, living out her life with her hands warming up. Not frozen. Not broken. So she really has to ponder, how certain was her ‘love’?

Had she loved him for his loyalty? For his many years of servitude? In return for the numerous times he had kept her safe?

Had she loved him as a brother or a father? As family? For all the burdens he had shouldered in consideration of her well-being?

Had she loved him as an individual? As a male? As someone she had wished to stand beside in sickness or in health, until death did them part?

She scoffs. What is she, a novel character? As if pondering about it would change the fact that she never even stood a chance... Never, not against her own mother.

His heart had been stolen from the start, and she knew that.

She was about 11 years old when she had noticed, before then, her head had still been regretfully stuck in the fictional world of dashing princes and pretty princesses who would fall in love with the former.

It had been autumn too, where fallen leaves were swept across the air, along with affectionate words burning with the same colour.

She ran into the garden merrily, about to call out to her mother and her valet as they came into view.

She slowed down. Something hadn’t been right.

The two of them stood face to face. Her mother said something, and his eye — one overwhelmed with so much sorrow on the day Sharon had found him 3 years prior — brightened up.

That crimson eye averted its gaze, but her mother gingerly guided it back to herself with a delicate hand on his cheek. Everything around them seemed to have vanished. There was only him and her, alone in a world of their own, segregated from obligations and expectations, in a fleeting moment where they allowed themselves to stay lost in each other’s presence.

Everything was so perfectly in place that she had wondered how she never noticed before. Her mother’s cranberry-coloured eyes shone lovingly as always — no, perhaps more than ‘always’ — complemented with a hint of longing, meeting his evasive wine-red gaze.

His lone eye reflected his fear of being unworthy, and yet the joy in it had been far too conspicuous to remain unnoticed.

She should know, because a few years after, when she was mesmerised by the sweet fantasies of adolescence, she had burnt him into her sight with those very same eyes.

Yet she still never stood a chance.

When her mother breathed her last, Sharon was devastated, certainly. She remembers the long days of lamenting and the long nights of weeping, and she remembered her valet offering her a gentle smile in her time of need.

But somehow she sensed that he had been in a far more bottomless chasm of despair than whatever she could fathom.

The vitality and joy which had once returned to his wine-red eye because of her mother had been washed away with the silent tears he had shed for her mother. Whenever she looked into his eye, she would no longer find the elation she once saw in it.

From there on out, she mourned how much sorrow and loneliness she could feel from his eye alone, how little it resembled the eye of a human.

He resembled a specter instead, long gone, only still wandering in this disgusting world because of some unfulfilled love and some crippling regrets.

She knows how he felt. They both chased after autumn breezes destined to cross the boundary of winter before they do.

Yet at the same time, she doesn’t know. Because she still lives, still breaths, not even half a foot inside the boundary.

But is that really such a crime? After all, what is there left for her to linger on? Her mother had long since taken his heart to the grave with her.

Yes, when enough time had passed, even he had regained his sweet, silly grin, as if nothing had changed. But that ever melancholic eye of his would never gaze upon anyone in the same way, not Sharon, not anyone else.

Even the scarce moments in which he had looked at her with affection of a similar magnitude, she knew that he had only been looking at her resemblance to her mother.

But it was only fair. After all, she was exactly what he saw. A spoiled, greedy, prissy lady who constantly relied on her knight’s protection, who never quite managed to prove herself worthy to stand by his side.  

Not like her mother, who had healed him, who had taken his hands and yanked him out from despair into a world he had been blind to, as a benign God would heal a man born without sight.

Sharon was incapable of such a feat, incapable of bringing him solace. It was frustrating, yes, but she understood that she was no match.

For that autumn day she had witnessed their secret was blooming with more life than any spring morning, raging with more passion than any summer afternoon, and shimmering with more beauty than any winter night.

She blesses them, she’s still proud of how she insisted if Break were to be buried anywhere, it must be beside her mother. There were far too many limits but never enough time when they were still alive. Maybe that helped them find each other in afterlife. Maybe that helped them perpetuate their somehow warm autumn.

What more could she do, other than wishing them the best...

...and letting him take her heart to the grave with him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

[busterkeatonfanfic]

Chapter 9

Buster hooked his thumbs in his suspenders and stared up with admiration at the 120-foot crane. Having been delivered to the set in multiple pieces by a fleet of huge trucks, the workmen had just finished putting it together. “Beautiful, ain’t she?”

At his side, Joe grimaced. “Did you have to?”

“ ‘Course I did,” said Buster. “How else are we going to lift the hospital off me in the cyclone sequence?”

“I just didn’t expect it … it’s so big, you know?”

“Damn right it is.”

“How much did it cost?” “How much did it cost? Really?” Buster said, feeling like Joe had just stuck a pin in his mood and popped it. “It cost what it cost.”

Joe rubbed the back of his neck as he looked up at the crane. “I just wish you’d said something first. Harry’s worried about going over budget.”

“Tell him he can blow it out his ass,” said Buster. “I’m getting damn sick of Harry. Didn’t we all sit down and agree a cyclone was just fine?” He bit his tongue and didn’t say ‘I told you so,’ because if they’d stuck to the original plan, there wouldn’t have been a crane. He wasn’t sure how much the cyclone had run them so far, but it was already over $20,000.

“Yeah, I guess we did. Just try to—” said Joe. “Well don’t go overboard, is what I’m getting at.”

Buster, who had already handsomely paid to go overboard, kept his silence again. “Sure.”

They took a street car to K Street. The sidewalks were still busy when they arrived at the Senator theater around 6:30, everyone parading around in their Saturday night finery. She felt good about the ensemble she’d chosen, a short-sleeved dusty peach cotton dress with a mauve straw cloche hat and silk stockings. Inside, the Senator was cool. She’d been to a picture there only once before, but it was enough to make her fall in love with the place, which had been built just two years prior and was new like everything on the West coast was new. It was adorned in velvet drapes and jardinières heaped with fresh chrysanthemums, plush wall-to-wall carpeting, and fringed lamps, but her favorite feature was the painted dome and the enormous multi-tiered chandelier hanging from its center.

As she and the Kimbles took their seats in the balcony, she looked to the box seats on either side of the theater, half-expecting to see Buster in one, but she didn’t. Maybe he was in the crowd, but there was only so much gawking she could do before attracting attention. She saw him in person nearly every day now, but always at a distance and always when he was busy in front of or behind the camera. River Junction had been a bustle of workmen and noise in the mornings as they rebuilt sets for the cyclone and put together the biggest crane she’d seen in her life. Bert allowed her to take breaks a couple times a day to watch the filming. Even though she was behind the scenes now and could see everything, from the cluster of noisy cameras to the even noisier rain machines, the sight of Buster falling into a puddle up to his waist or being blown off his feet by a gust of wind was still a laugh. On Thursday, she’d been called upon to place an order for five large loaves of bread from a bakery, but they were spirited off to an unknown part of the set and their purpose remained a mystery. 

Her brief acquaintance with Buster seemed to have come to an end and she wasn’t inclined to press it any further, having made an ass of herself the first day in his dressing room and then later after the party at the blind tiger. It was enough that he knew her name. She’d begun hoping that the company would keep her on when they wrapped filming and packed up for Hollywood in a few weeks. The more she stuck around, the more people would know her face, and the more people knew her face, the greater her chances were of being recognized by a studio.

She shared Joe and Maggie’s jumbo box of Junior Mints as the lights went down and the opening short started. An organ in an arched box with pillars provided accompaniment. 

When the opening credits of Buster’s feature began, Nelly’s pulse quickened a little bit. It was surreal when he finally appeared on the screen, walking beneath an umbrella with his mother in the pouring rain, soaked to the skin; she’d gotten used to him as a flesh-and-blood person. She now knew how his production company made that rain and that there were cameras in front of him tracking his every step. She also knew that the person inside the truck driving down the street in the background was an extra. Nevertheless, the scene still looked believable, and pretty soon she was sucked into the story like the rest of the audience.

Buster played a brainy college freshman without a lick of athletic ability, which happened to be the only thing his girl cared about. He spent most of the picture trying out for sports to impress her and failing miserably. Buster often took two or three-hour lunches to play baseball with his production team, so Nelly couldn’t quite buy that he didn’t understand the rules of the game and couldn’t hit a ball to save his life.

As the movie wore on, she became aware—and it gave her an unpleasant sensation, like an itch—that he was better-looking than she remembered. It embarrassed her somewhat to see him in his skimpy track outfit. In one scene where he sat on the sidelines, the shorts rode up so high she could see where his tan ended and his natural skin tone, considerably paler, began. She was almost glad when the movie ended. The last few seconds had been queer, besides. The scene of Buster and his girl walking out of the chapel after being married had melted into a scene of them sitting at home while their children played in the background, then one of them in old age, before concluding with a shot of two headstones.

The organ died away and the lights went up. 

“What on earth did that ending mean?” said Maggie, with a look on her face.

“I don’t know,” said Nelly, but it had given her a bad taste. Judging by the expressions on their neighbors’ faces, they weren’t alone in their confusion. Even in Shakespeare’s time, everyone knew that you ended a comedy with a marriage. To do otherwise was to let your audience down. The abrupt, morbid ending brought her back to reality and reminded her that the real Buster was not to be confused with his handsome, whimsical on-screen counterpart.

Joe was the only one who seemed to find the ending funny and tried explaining it as they made their way up the balcony and down the stairs. Nelly was busy searching the exiting crowd for Buster’s face and only half listened. They made it out onto the sidewalk before she accepted she wasn’t going to see him that night. 

Maggie proposed getting hamburgers before they went home and Joe and Nelly agreed. They found a diner on L Street and sat in a booth with a checkered red-and-white tablecloth.

“So what’s he really like?” Maggie said, after their food arrived and they were tucking into burgers and coleslaw. She was a heavier girl, pretty, with auburn hair and freckles on her nose. Her claim to fame was that her maternal grandfather had been one of the original inhabitants of Sacramento when it was first incorporated. She’d asked Nelly the question before, but Nelly didn’t mind answering it again. Buster had rubbed off some fifteen minutes of fame onto her and there was no sense in not using them. Of course, she hadn’t told them that he was her savior the night of the party; in her untruthful retelling, Bert had played that role. They did know, however, that he had invited her to be an extra and that she’d baked him cookies after his accident with the baseball.

“Not much like that,” said Nelly. She looked up and scanned the faces in the other booths as if one might belong to Buster, but they didn’t. “He smiles in real life, but you know that, I’ve said that before. He can be very solemn. He’s not boyish like he is in pictures. I think he’s a kind person, mostly.” She was almost surprised to hear herself say it, but it was a conclusion she’d come to in spite of how he’d appalled her at their first meeting. He’d been a gentleman through and through when he rescued her at the party and took her back to his hotel room, and she couldn’t help but alter her opinion because of it. “He keeps a lot to himself and sticks to his own pals. And he’s very funny, just as funny as his movies.”

“He’s a real athlete too,” Joe said. “He can’t hide that.”

Nelly agreed. “Yes, he plays a lot of baseball with his team.”

“I liked the picture anyway. The gags were funny,” said Joe.

“It was alright,” Nelly said.  

Maggie added, “I’m still not keen on that ending.”

“No,” said Nelly. 

They ate their burgers and the conversation moved to the Senators game (everything was called Senator here since Sacramento was the capital) and how, according to Joe at least, the team hadn’t been the same since Brick Eldred (whoever he was) left. It was getting late by the time they left the diner, and they took a taxi back to 22nd Street, Nelly and Maggie deciding that they’d forgo the dance hall for the evening. 

Nelly had almost forgotten about Buster by the time she crawled into bed around eleven. She tried to drift off by boring herself with thoughts of baseball. Her father and uncle liked the White Sox, but she’d never really understood or cared for the game. Her only memory of the game she’d been taken to as a little girl was of eating hot dogs and popcorn and wandering the stands with Ruthie. Although she couldn’t say why, fantasies of men had not been satisfying since the incident with Tommy, not even her go-to of John Barrymore. The idea that a man might take up baseball or another sport he was abysmal at in order to win the love of a girl seemed laughable now that she thought about it, but Buster had done it—and more—in College. He’d even rescued the girl from his rival who was trying to ruin her reputation.

Her eyes shot open. She hadn’t thought of it until now, but Buster had rescued her that night at the blind tiger. Of course, he hadn’t done it out of a sense of love and there was no reading into the coincidence since the picture had been shot long before she’d met Tommy or Buster, but it struck her regardless. Maybe Buster’s pictures did reveal something of his character. As she puzzled over it, her thoughts got hazier and hazier, until finally she dropped off to sleep.

Note: Bonus update this week. I think you all deserve it after current events! Also, do admire this screengrab where Buster’s tan ends and his normal skin color begins. 

[reversemoon255]

Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution - Kizuna

I’ve been a fan of Digimon since I first watched it as a kid, but I’m also one of those weird fans where I’m more excited to see the series give us something new rather than treading old ground (I’m not very nostalgic in general), so I wasn’t actually that excited for Kizuna, especially after the terrible experience it was to sit through Tri. Still, the movie surprised me, and grabbed me a lot more than I though it would. I didn’t cry at the ending, but I did well up a bit. Still, this movie isn’t without its problems.

Rather than going over the goods and bads like I normally do, I’m actually going to go through this one chronologically, as I feel it’s the best way to tackle this film’s strengths and flaws. Sit back for a long one, folks.

Chapter 1 (Parrotmon and the First Adventure): We start out with the same intro music we got in the original Digimon Adventure movie. This first section is full of a lot of very purposeful callbacks, like Greymon VS Parrotmon and the recreated evolution sequences. This is the part of the movie where I think this works the best, grabbing people’s nostalgia right at the beginning, getting them to remember the good times with the Digimon before the drama starts. My only, very minor, nitpicky issue is that the Agumon to Greymon sequence is a bit choppier than the original, but it’s also not meant to play 30+ times over the course of two years, so it’s easily forgiven. Also, I’m gonna put PIN 1 in the aurora, because we’ll be coming back to that later.

The animation here is also fantastic (the few moments of off CG aside). It’s been a while since I’ve seen fight scenes this good, and this is probably the best they’ve ever been in Digimon. I also enjoy that Taichi and Yamato are immediately on good terms. So much of Tri was them arguing with each other, so seeing them as friends is nice.

Chapter 2 (The New Normal): Something I didn’t notice the first time, but did on a repeat watch was Sora’s Digivice with its timer ticking down in the opening credits. I’m not a fan of how little Sora was in this movie, especially considering her reinterpretation in the reboot hasn’t been that strong, but I do think the route they went with her was fitting for her character.

Seeing Taichi and Yamato in a rut while everyone else is pursuing their dreams is well done. I definitely feel like I’ve been there before in one form or another, and it’s easy to empathize with. Also, seeing the two of them drinking is so surreal. And them talking about how they have a hard time fitting their Digimon into their lives, only to almost immediately have the idea of losing on them thrust upon them hits very hard on the first watch.

Menoa’s voice... As a native English speaker, hearing people who are supposed to be American in anime only to spout obviously line-read Katakana is always a little vexing to me. I definitely weigh it a bit based on the budget of the show I’m watching, but this is a very big budget movie and they could have gotten a better trainer at the very least to go over the lines with her. Her character is well done, though. I thought she was certainly suspicious my first watch, but on a rewatch I caught more hints, such as her reaction after Izumi mentioned his database.

Chapter 3 (It’s in the Internet): This is where I started falling off a bit. Let me know if this sounds familiar, “Taichi, Izumi, Yamato, and Takeru must battle a Digimon inside the internet. Just as they seem to have the upper hand, it evolves and the children must rely on Omegamon to defeat it.” This particular part of the movie is recycled from Children’s War Game. Even Eosmon darting around the arena with a timer going, being difficult to hit and having to be forced to slow down is reminiscent of how Diablomon was defeated. This really took me out of the film, and it kind of gets worse, but we’ll get there.

Maybe this is me, but I can’t help but feel the whales during Omegamon’s evolution are a callback to Summer Wars >_> I do like the new version of his sword with the flared guard.

Chapter 4 (Some Old Yet Newer Friends): I don’t agree with Menoa’s explanation for why Digimon disappear, but my evidence as to why hasn’t appeared yet, so we’ll put PIN 2 in that. Menoa’s assistant on the other hand was a decent red herring. I wasn’t sure which of them it actually was until the full reveal.

I can’t properly express how excited I was to see Miyoko and Hawkmon after Tri. The 02 crew got so shafted that seeing them here and how involved they were in the plot had me legit excited. There’s actually a ton of 02 love in this movie in the background that I was very appreciative of. That brings me to another point, though, that this movie feels very responsive to Tri. The heavy inclusion of the 02 cast over many of the other original Adventure members, the number of cameos from the final episodes of 02, and a very certain plot point that we’ll stick PIN 3 in for now all point to this. Heck, it was even revealed to be in production near the end of Tri, which was supposed to be the series finalé, except people didn’t like Tri so they apparently didn’t want the series to go out on a sour note (though not a bitter-sweet one).

Chapter 5 (People Change): Can we talk about how Agumon finds Taichi’s stash? It’s a little too real, man. But this scene also brings up the point that the Digimon haven’t really changed since 1999, yet the children have significantly. The Digimon change their appearance and the humans change on the inside. It’s also a little weird how the Digimon aren’t that beat up about saying goodbye. I mean, they don’t want to, but they aren’t crying their eyes out. But we’ll talk about that more when we actually pull out PIN 2.

Also, seeing Sora at the end of this chapter, knowing what’s happening to her is really sad on the second watch.

As a little bonus, I was questioning the Digivice Smart Phones until Taichi turned his off and Izumi’s name popped up. Good show-don’t-tell. That scene also has some great lighting...

Chapter 6 (Better than Himekawa Maki): You definitely feel bad for Menoa. Her story is very (and probably purposefully) similar to that of Himekawa Maki’s from Tri, but in this case we feel more for her because she went through what our leads are going through right now. Her plan makes sense to her because of her tauma. And as we’re talking about the similarities to Tri, I’m going to pull PIN 3 and mention that Taichi and Yamato are going through the same thing that Meiko did. It’s strange that they’re recycling the Tri plot for this, but it works so much better here because our connections to these characters, that we’ve known for years, are so much stronger than those of the new ones introduced in Tri. And it’s 1/10th of the run time, too. It’s almost like Tri was terrible or something O_O

Chapter 7 (Touching Down like a Revenging Hurricane): So now we’re on to a Digimon trapping Chosen Children and reverting them back to children all for the sake of one Chosen Child who has aged up. Man, that sounds familiar. It’s almost as if this plot point was taken from another movie or something...

Look, I wouldn’t harp on it so much if every Adventure + 02 Digimon movie didn’t have plot elements recycled for this film. The beginning was Adventure, the first battle with Eosmon was War Game, Tri is sprinkled throughout, we’re currently on Touchdown, and everything from here up to the final is Revenge of Diablomon. Don’t get me wrong, this was probably on purpose, and they are well integrated, but it pulls me out of the movie super hard. As I’m writing this, I’m on the scene with the 100 Eosmon reveal, just like all the Kuramon. They also do the thing all the Kuramon do where they combine together and defeat Omegamon (by removing his arms, weirdly), only to have two Digimon achieve a new evolution to defeat it.

That being said though, it is, again, handled very well. The damage you see done to Omegamon in these scenes is heartbreaking, and you can certainly feel the weight of the situation.

I also want to pull PIN 1 here, because they bring up the aurora again. There’s never actually an explanation for it, is there? It just shows up one day. It helped Menoa make Eosmon, it drove Parrotmon and apparently other Digimon crazy, but where it came from and why it’s here is never actually explained. I feel like this is bait in case they’re ever at the point where they need another big nostalgia push again and a plot for another movie. But I also don’t want to see that. After Reboot wraps (even though I like it) I’d like to see a new cast, Digimon, and story please.

I also don’t believe a word of anything Menoa says in these scenes, but she does a very good job of pushing Taichi and Yamato’s buttons. I also want to point out, it’s Greymon that isn’t phased by all this and goes on the attack when they’re doubting themselves.

Chapter 8 (An Unreliable Narrator): Time to pull PIN 2.

This is the reason why I don’t believe Menoa. This scene. Menoa kept going on about children losing their infinite possibilities and being unable to supply their Digimon with power, but the Digimon we see going through this situation don’t reflect that. Evolution is a two-way street. We help the Digimon evolve, but in turn they help us evolve, and it is when we reach the pinnacle of our evolution, when the job of the Digimon is done that they disappear. Menoa sped through her evolution because she wanted to become an adult, and when she finally achieved the dream she had set for herself is when Morphomon disappeared, but she’s so traumatized by her disappearance that her views on the situation are negative. This has to be a bad thing, there can’t be a positive reason why the Digimon would disappear. But Agumon and Gabumon are happy. Happy that they could see the great people that Taichi and Yamato turned out to be.

Gotta say, the CG fight with Omegamon and Eosmon (Perfect) isn’t as great as the previous ones. Definitely gets better when we get to Eosmon (Ultimate). This is also a scene where they very easily show the stakes by having Taichi and Yamato getting injured, which we don’t see a lot of, not to mention Omegamon getting sliced up as I said previously.

Also, how many kids got stuck with Numemon as a partner?

Chapter 9 (We’re All Together): I hate that whistle. Every time I hear it in Adventure I start crying. And seeing Sora without Piyomon in these scenes is also heart wrenching on a repeat. I enjoy the others getting involved in the Eosmon fight, but I would have liked it if all the Chosen Children who were captured helped out (though I understand the nightmare that would be aging up all those 02 designs). Overall, just some good, back-to-back emotional moments.

Agumon Bond of Courage and Gabumon Bond of Friendship are decent designs. They definitely feel more newer Digimon than anything that would have appeared in the first season, but that’s ok. It took me a while to get used to Agumon’s new face (it’s kinda weird how human they get; makes me feel like wanted this to be a Bio-Merge). Though brief, their appearance is also beautifully animated.

Seeing Menoa lose Morphomon is also pretty emotional. Actually, this whole ending sequence (y’know, the part of the movie that’s the most itself rather than rehashing old material) is very good, and it’s constant heart-tugs one after another.

Chapter 10 (Goodbye for Now): As I said, there’s a lot of tug-at-your-heartstrings moments throughout the film (especially the ending), but this is the biggest one. This is the one that almost got me. I’m choked up a bit even writing this. It doesn’t help that they end it with a non-movie, realistic cry. But as Gennai said, as long as you have infinite possibilities...

This movie does feel like it embraces the epilogue from 02, and in that epilogue everyone has their Digimon again. And when’s the moment in your life when your life becomes chaotic and hectic and full of infinite possibilities again? The unifying thing everyone in the epilogue has? Kids.

I know that sounds weird, but it makes sense. I can totally imagine Taichi sitting on the couch, and his wife walks in and tells him she’s pregnant, and there’s this stunned silence for a moment, then Agumon pops out from under the cushions and says “How did that happen!?” I’m sure there are other ways it could happen, but that’s the most comedic and “Toei pushing having kids to help with the Japanese population crisis” way I can think of doing it.

I’ll also give special mention to the credits, where they go out of their way to show the 02 Crew with their Digimon, but the main cast without. But, again, we know they get them back. And hopefully they don’t make that movie anytime soon, because I’m sick of Adventure. I’d like new things, please!

Overall, this is a good movie, but it is, to me, heavily hampered by the fact that it is too nostalgic. The animation and writing is fantastic, but that writing is built on the back of elements from the previous movies. If you haven’t watched all those movies multiple times like I have, you’ll probably enjoy it a lot more than I did (and I enjoyed it a lot, still), but be aware. Next time we talk Digi-Shop will probably be about Reboot.

Unless I manage to get my hands on the rest of the Xros Wars toys. (Where are you, MailBirdramon!)

[dansnaturepictures]

10/07/21-Amazing day at Knepp: Part 1 of 2  

Due to the amount of photos and amount of what happened on a brilliant day today I decided to simply split the day at Knepp into two so this is part 1 and my next post is the second part. The second post shall have my wildlife sightings summary so list of wildlife seen through all of today. Today we did what we are so thrilled we have been able to do every year since 2018 and come to the inspiring and famous Knepp. On the way I enjoyed crossing the border into Sussex and seeing beautiful areas of it including near Petworth Park. I then reflected on the places in Sussex I know and have been to most; Bognor Regis our family bank holiday favourite when I was a child, Arundel particularly for the WWT centre when my birding days arrived and now the vital rewilding project of the Knepp Castle Estate.

Today was the usual festival of wildlife, on a day with rain to begin with and then dryness with it getting sunny towards the end. At the car park as last year when we came a little bit earlier during our June week off I admired a colourful patch of wild flowers that was brimming with life a real circus filling a little verge area shown in the first picture I took today in this photoset. There is something so nourishing and charming about taking in an area covered in flowers out well in the peak season. And it was a good focal point coming about a year from when my flower interest started to intensify leading to me getting the all important PlantNet app for ID suggested by a kind Twitter friend that I could name most of them. Knapweed, oxyeye daisy, Lady’s bedstraw, scabious, yarrow, buttercups, viper’s bugloss, some straggling perhaps red campion, bright white campion too nicely, poppy, hawksbeard and later on when here we saw my first ever sweet pea. This place was alive with colour.

Then as we began the walk all started brilliantly with a view in the rain of a special Little Owl cosily tucked in on a branch within a tree which I got the record shot in the second picture in this photoset of. We had seen one here before and this was our second seen in 2021 after one on our opening week of the year so it was lovely to add another in probably my best ever years of owls with the amount of species seen and how we’ve seen them. An exceptional species to be in the presence of. Then as the rain persisted I risked raindrops on my macro lens coming across my first common toadflax this year and I just had to get a macro picture which I tweeted on Dans_Pictures tonight of it there were a couple of spots with them. One of the flowers I learnt last year at Durlston and Martin Down that I am most fond of they are so beautiful and well coloured. It’s also known as butter and eggs and I can see why it does look quite egg like especially in a Haribo type way for me some sweets I loved as a kid and have had recently again its warm mixture of orange and white so this was very nice to see a memorable moment today for me. I took the third picture in this photoset of a Kestrel it was lovely to see as we walked on. 

Other flowers I saw today were a lot of self-heal including some big ones, much ragwort as well dominating the meadows a little, agrimony of a few sizes, orchid, hedge nettle, common vetchling, bird’s-foot trefoil, white clover, chomomile, speedwell, bindweed including some giant looking ones like seen last night and mouse-ear chickweed. A real festival of wildflowers too.

As we walked on we were over the moon to catch a glimpse of some White Storks high in a tree! The bird this visit first for butterflies the Purple Emperor has become majorly about seeing. It was such a thrill to see them again and get a very nice view. We went on to see them a lot this afternoon and this was a great start to ensure we’d seen them for a third year running which we are so lucky for. Walking along the many classic oaks which contribute so much to this transformed land’s butterfly fame and with the rain still falling we were so happy to see one of the key oak species with Purple Hairstreaks flitting high up along the trees. It was brilliant to see these delicate little butterflies today my first of the year and one of my next ones I wanted to see this summer.

Around where we saw one of the Purple Hairstreaks the day took a mammalian turn with a Grey Squirrel chomping away which I got a photo of which I tweeted we saw a few today and a gorgeous brown Tamworth pig we watched munching away on the ground for a good few minutes. Lovely to see this one of the pioneers of the wild and beautiful landscape.

We then made it to the area where the White Storks produced chicks historically for the UK last year with the pond in which had some lovely water lilies in. And we were delighted to see two chicks here this year and the adult getting some brilliant views of them stood still and flying later on too. It was so lovely to make out these enormous white birds and it still felt a bit surreal seeing them on top of the oak tree so in place in this wild landscape and its so good to really have them coming bank to the UK. I took the fourth picture in this photoset of one of the birds. 

Waking out of the field back round to towards the car park and the rain would eventually stop. It was great to hear a Yellowhammer here. This, many Common Whitethroats seen well throughout the walk, Linnet seen a lot and Chiffchaffs seen and heard well made a great quartet of birds I am having brilliant years for that I saw really well today that have seemed to pop up on big moments in my year. That’s what I do like about the Knepp visit each year as it’s such a snippet of yesteryear with how everything looks and feels so you see birds in a different way almost species that you have been seeing for months and it’s all part of the fantastic time out. We also saw more pioneers of the place Exmoor Ponies getting close to some of these beautiful coloured equines well and and we saw a nice amount in an under trees area. Here in an opening we were also delighted to spot a Fallow Deer and some Red Deers. Conveniently we were close to one of the lovely tree houses here that provide good vantage points and we spent a joyful few minutes watching these two star species of previous visits getting cracking views of them munching away too these were our beat ever Red Deer views at Knepp at least and the Fallows standing out too against previous years. One rusty brown Red Deer even entertainingly stood up in the air to eat some of the higher characteristic thick vegetation of this place. I took the fifth and sixth pictures in this photoset of the Red Deers and a view from this platform. This vantage point provided excellent views of a Bullfinch which we would go onto to see well later too with a ruby red male dashing across the path and some of the storks again.

Coming down the steps back onto the walk and some of the key moments of the day occurred. Firstly joining in the sweet melody of Blackbird song was the exciting distant purr of the Turtle Dove. An iconic species we had not seen this year yet and hadn’t ever at Knepp before. As we walked wanting to hear it some more and see if we might see it we first saw the prominent large and angled figure of a Purple Emperor quickly lurking and flying along high up a tree. We had done it, seen the main butterfly species of the day. Other things sort of all allotted that meant any Knepp visit during the Purple Emperor season would be today and we didn’t know what the weather was going to do. In a butterfly year more of quick sightings of things often flying than lots landed soaking up the sun with the inconsistent weather thus far in the spring and summer I said if we came on a rainy day and just saw one Purple Emperor quickly I’d take that. So I felt lucky to see this.

Then moving on further after getting an exceptional view of a Fallow Deer really closely by in thick undergrowth and hearing Turtle Doves again we met a very kind group of people who we spoke to later on nicely too and they very kindly pointed us to where they had just seen the Turtle Dove we had heard purring. And we saw the bird, a very special moment seeing this smaller than Woodpigeon dove species sat well into vegetation. A smashing moment with a quintessentially rural species and one so precious. It made me so happy to to see those subtly brown and divine looking bird. Knepp becoming the third place I had seen Turtle Doves at after Martin Down a similarly rich area which brought them back as options for us to see the past few years and beside the River Itchen at Bishopstoke in a freak sighting I got of one in 2009 there. It was great to secure a Turtle Dove sighting in 5 of the last 6 years for me now. My year list now sits on 172, one higher how many birds I had seen at this stage of my highest ever bird year list 2019 so currently for the first time since New Year’s Day I can say I have seen more birds on this date this year than I had in any other year for a short time probably having found growth in past year lists in coming days a very exciting place to be with my year list now after this strong run of getting year ticks since March. I took the seventh picture in this photoset of the area we were hearing the dove.

Walking on and we were teased by brown and orange looking hairstreaks seeing a handful flitting around fast. We determined these were what alongside purple was a likely candidate for the possibly hairstreaks I saw at Lakeside last night, White-letter Hairstreak. These views of them today were a huge bonus and very special. After seeing them in another dizzy English football summer 2018 on a key week a week before going to Knepp for the first time at Peartree Green in Southampton with a visit to Yorkshire in between, then again at Knepp that day my first ever two then there a year later we missed them last year. So this feels so good to have seen then again my fourth ever sighting of one and as butterfly species 37 of my year levelling how many I saw in my entire 2013 and 2016 it gives me a good chance to finish with a high total again by my standards as with a local sight where we often see Purple Hairstreaks to try had we not seen them today the Purple Emperor did too. Joyful moments. I got the eighth picture in this photoset of area won the walk. 

Walking on we enjoyed seeing a Cinnabar moth a red and blue beauty very well. There were also some longhorn cattle around like the ones in the ninth picture I took today in this photoset, a Red Admiral dancing around us as I had with one at Lakeside last night also seeing Red Admirals well throughout the walk today and a hornet. We then enjoyed a lovely break with a cup of tea and cookie at the nice diner at the centre near the car park I got the tenth and final pictures in this photoset of the arch of old deer antlers which is so characteristic of this place and makes me reaise I’m here for the annual visit a little. Seeing Jackdaw and then a gorgeous Wren as I tweeted a picture of sitting on the antlers was brilliant to notice too. 

My next post to follow shortly.