#still funny

[thatgirl4815]

When Only Friends is over and everyone has moved on, we will always remember that the fandom had such an outrage over a two second clip of a man touching another man’s hip tattoo that the director had to apologize and edit every version to put the scene back in

[mumms-the-word]

guys

GUYS

you’ll never believe what nonsense I came across while I was brainrot doomscrolling through all the books and notes on the BG3 wiki trying to find stuff I might have missed in act 2

druid self-insert romantic fanfiction about the first battle against Moonrise and Ketheric

fanfic that Halsin read and criticized!!

Okay if you played early access you shouldn’t be surprised because these books existed in EA. I’ve tried to find them in my game post patch 6 but all I can find is volume 3, which is disappointing because I was hoping to find volume 4

But as a treat, if you’re like me and completely didn’t know about this, buckle up and please enjoy the self-insert adventures of a certain “Roa” who totally isn’t Roan Featherway, a druid of Silvanus and colleague(??) of Halsin himself

———

Book Draft - Volume I

The name on the inside of this faded journal suggests it belonged to a 'Roan Featherway', a druid of Silvanus.

[Neatly written chapters fill this journal. A list of what appears to be book publishers in Baldur's Gate are on the first page. The cover has a multitude of titles, all crossed out: 'The Unforeseen Alliance, volume 1', 'Druids and Harpers, a fight for good!', 'The Shadowed Evil: who dares to stand against it?'] Our hero, the [brave? mighty?] druid Roa arrives in the grove. When he received the summons from the Emerald Enclave, he knew something was afoot. Filled with druids and rangers alike, members of the Enclave are scattered across the realm. They fight to preserve the natural order, keep the elemental forces of the world in check, and do battle with those who would upset this delicate balance. They are fierce warriors, though none as fierce as Roa. Built like [an ox? A bear?], he stands head and shoulders above the crowd. The grove is buzzing with activity. Roa spots a beautiful woman with ebony hair flowing past her shoulders, her eyes as blue as a [summer's day? bluebird?]. His smile turns to a frown as he notices the crescent moon and harp pinned to her chest. By Silvanus, what was a Harper doing here?

———

Book Draft - Volume II

Formed from several journals, paper scraps and, in one case, the back of an envelope, this book has been carefully glued together to form the second in a series of romance novels.

[This seems to be the second volume in a series written by an amateur novelist. The title on the cover, 'Love in Shadowed Lands', is crossed out.] The ebony-haired woman notices Roa's gaze and crosses the grove, [winking? smiling?] as she stands by the druid's side. 'I don't usually wear it out in the open,' she says, tapping the brooch on her cloak, a crescent moon and harp pinned to her chest. 'Except for special occasions.' 'What's a Harper doing in a grove of Silvanus?' Roa asks. 'Not just one.' She gestures to a group by the sacred pool. 'We're generally more cloak and dagger,' she continues, 'thwarting tyrants and [guarding? protecting?] the realm is best done in secret. But you lot have a fight on your hands. We're here to help.' 'Since when do the Emerald Enclave need a bunch of Harpers?' Roa says. 'You haven't heard?' She laughs, her laugh tinkling like a bell. 'Strap in, sweetie. We're about to take on Dark Justiciars, their demented leader Ketheric Thorm and, if we're very lucky, Shar herself.'

———

Book Draft - Volume III

The third book in a series of romance novels, this once beautifully bound book has had pages ripped out, glued back in and even tied to the book's spine using a piece of twine.

['Volume Three' is written in bold on the front. The title 'The Cost of Sorrow' is followed by a number of question marks.] 'But why?' Roa screams, the beast within barely contained. 'Why follow Shar? Why destroy Moonhaven?' Ketheric stares down [haughtily? cruelly?] at Roa as he steps over the bodies of Harpers and druids alike. 'Shar knows all.' He smiles [maliciously?]. 'She gave me a holy mission. I'm merely fulfilling it.' 'The people of Moonhaven trusted you!' Roa cries, his anger rising. 'How could you turn your Dark Justiciars on them?' Ketheric smiles, 'They needed the target practice. Can't have Shar's elite getting rusty, now can we? As for you...' a crescent blade appears in his [cruel?] hands. 'You are but one lone druid, Roa. Who are you to stand against me?' Roa forces himself to his feet, Silvanus' fury coursing through him. 'I'm your downfall. Today you die, Ketheric!'

———

And for the pièce de résistance 😮‍💨🤌

Book Draft - Volume IV

The fourth volume and final novel, this book has had almost every single page ripped out, except for the last twenty or so pages.

['Shadow's Kiss' is written in bold on the front. Pages of crossed out lines have notes in the margin reading 'finale!', 'more exciting!'. The final entry reads:] 'Get out of here.' Roa whispers, clutching his side. Blood pours from his fingers, a final gift from Ketheric's blade. 'I'm not leaving you,' Selene sobs, blue eyes filling with tears. Roa cups her face. 'I won't make it out in time. But you can.' Selene presses her forehead against his. Her ebony hair falls forward, forming a curtain that envelops them both. Roa closes his eyes, a smile lifting his lips as her scent, wild roses, washes over him. 'That grappling hook. You still have it?' He asks. 'Of course. Why do you -' With the last of his strength, Roa pushes her from the balcony. He watches her fall, watches her pull the hook from her pack and expertly throw it, swinging gracefully to the ground. A mighty crack splits the floor beneath him as the tower crumbles. He smiles contentedly. Selene was safe. That's all that mattered. Epilogue: 'Selfish bastard.' Selene says, kicking the base of the grave. Balsin places a comforting hand on her shoulder. 'He was the greatest of us all,' Balsin says, a towering behemoth of a druid, although not as tall as Roa. 'We will forever honour him, for he single-handedly broke Shar's hold on the land, and helped -' [A different hand appears beneath the final entry.] Roan, you had one job. This is not a historical record of what occurred, it is poorly written romance with no basis in fact. And if I ever see the name 'Balsin' again, I will personally feed you to Ormn.

Halsin you’re such a critic

we were robbed

[tedhead]

[heyshinichiran]

[intriga-hounds]

the bad brigade

[zuzla33]

random friday thoughts …

personally, I would mind it if my fiance kept a picture taken by his ex as a pfp on his socials … especially if the gap between our relationship and the one with his ex was like two weeks (?) … it would just annoy me …maybe I would feel differently if it wasn't as serious as the engagement, but … like bearding? ... you know like when Timbo was with LRD but he kept that nice pfp that was done by his ... ok it wasn't an EX ... wrong example ... I messed up

[taylorrepdetective]

how many holes can the toe timeline get?? imagine your gf writing you are losing me and then you help her write sweet nothings 🥴

November2021: Taylor and Joe have a romantic time together with Jack and Margaret in Panama.

Early December: Taylor hating on Joe because he won’t marry her.

Mid December: Joe comes back from Panama and thinks everything’s great! They write sweet nothing together.

End of December they fly off to a romantic getaway in Tahiti

January: they head straight to Cornwall, a special place to joe and his family, where he proposes. Taylor’s says whoopsie I guess you do want to marry me!🥰

All the rest of 2022: happiness! Except Taylor is secretly recording joe diss tracks like Bejeweled and planning to make videos for her new album that call him a loser, all while kissing him in the Caribbean. Lena Dunham calls him a Titan of Industry. Everyone cheers.

Sept: I wanted to stay in the lavender haze and protect my relationship 6 years 😻

2023: all chaos

[itsme-tori]

I think the funniest part (imo) about this scene is that most people freak out about how Jinx sat on Silco's lap but not the fact that she's stabbing his face.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I'm not sure what that box is supposed to be but it's so freaking funny to me because it looks like a box of tissues and that is the illustration that opens volume 20 / chapters 84-88 and like. yeah u sure gonna need that. Chapters 84-88 sskk themed tissues to dry your chapters 84-88 sskk induced tears

[crabs-and-bongos]

There are some powerful thumbnails on youtube

[the-lemonaut]

(2021) Fantasy AU comic with our OCs that I never ended up finishing but I still like looking at. Some proportions are really off, but the colors remain great

This was actually the start of their friendship, don't let yourself get tricked by that fierce face Charlie's making lol. Unfortunately I just couldn't get the rest of the narrative quite right

[blmpff]

- Uncle Jim age 50000, more wrinkles than skin and all that

[segretecose]

the english word pistachio is so funny they were like yeah we’ll borrow the entire word from italian but we draw the line at it having two Cs

[princessfroslass]

I love that the weapons in Hazbin are like, super fantasy/sci phy and magical and stuff- like Vaggie's magical spear or Sir Pentios's machinary or Husk's cards and stuff.

And then there is Angel all pulling 4/6 clocks out of his ass and nobody ever question him. Like I know what that is hinting but next to tho these cartoon violence I just can't get over him going full:

In the background.

[violent138]

Me as a Time Traveller in 1665, spotting Newton under a tree: "Oh this is my chance to help make history." *chucks an apple, hard, at Newton's head.

*Concussed Newton immediately forgets what he was thinking about (initial concepts of gravitational theory), world altered dramatically off course*

[flowerscentedartist]

Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation

Killer: How do you eat pickles?

Ink: What do you mean?

Killer: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

Ink: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

Killer: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

Ink: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

Killer: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

Ink: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

Killer: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

Ink: Nods in agreement

Dream: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

Killer: Jeez, okay.

Ink: Quit yelling at us already.