#still in it for melodramatic ed

[pumpkinspicepirates]

Fuck it if I can't have him.

[mammalsofaction]

SIKE! GET LOVED IDIOT

Rating: G

Relationship: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus

Add tags: fix it fic, rewrite the unmentionable chibiverse episode, the destiel-fication of Perryshmirtz, this is an excuse for me showeing Heinz with love and aftercare.

AN: Many thanks to my lovely, sleepy beta @agentlizardofowca, who sent me the video through discord so it could be the first thing i would see upon waking up so we could both yell at each other about it. They fucking destiel-ed him.

---

"Perry the Platypus!"

There is a brief, but meaningful applause as he descends in appropriately melodramatic way. The stage is well built, and the mic doesn't screech. Perry keeps an eye on the prize, even as he swallows the given pill.

Heinz looks…wary. He did not, at least, have his arms crossed, but over the course of the last few hours Perry notices how he's grown to hunch further into himself, curling into his seat. His brows were deeply furrowed, like he was waiting to be physically hit at any moment, which still might be likely.

The pill goes down smooth as butter. There is a discernible electrical buzz, from his insides. As he coughs, he expects himself to belch smoke. Instead, as he approaches the mic, he speaks with a voice that was his-and-not-his-own.

"Well, hello there!"

Heinz yells in disbelief. Perry blinks.

"Oh, that is weird, hearing you speak,"

It's an even weirder sensation, Perry thinks, to be able have Heinz firmly understand him speak. He grips the edges of the podium tightly, then forcibly relaxes.

"Heinz," he laughs nervously. It still sounds like it came from someone else. "What can I say, about my greatest frenemy? I'd take my hat off to you, but then you'd have no idea who I am,"

A chorus of laughter follows . Heinz harrumphed, briefly looking away to stubbornly insist that he "Doesn't get it." But Perry does not miss the distrustful twitch of his lips.

God he can't do this. Perry takes in a deep breath.

"There are many things you continue to surprise me about, my friend," Perry continues, and he watches in real time as Heinz both blooms and flinches in anticipation of his next words. "But most astonishingly is how you…can twist your mind into such horrible directions."

A confused silence ensues. Someone yells out a demanding "What?" that breaks the man's confused daze.

"Yeah, what?" Asked the man of the hour. "Are you saying I think in a really evil way, or are you just calling me dumb?"

The former, Perry knows, would be a compliment the man sorely needs, but it would not be an accurate one.

Perry isn't interested in playing this stupid game. "Neither. Heinz, look around you. Don't you see?" Perry's mouth pursed tightly. "You are surrounded by friends."

There is a perceptible change in the air, punctuated by muttering and distressed whispering. Perry exhales loudly. "Do you really think all of us genuinely think so lowly of you?"

Heinz scowls, confused. His eyes dart to and fro, but they eventually land back to him. They always do.

"Some friends. I don't have any friends.That's half the point we've been making all day."

"I'm your friend." Perry says, a little desperately, but it isn't about him. "Heinz, you insist that the people you surround yourself with think of you in ways you already think of yourself in that too big brain of yours, that you don't see the affection and respect of the people who like having you around. This event is your idea. Do you think people would have thought about anything cruel we've said if you hadn't said you wanted to hear it? "

" There were plenty of volunteers."

"We're an outgoing group who like to help one another! Heinz, look," Perry scowls back. "I don't agree with everything Darcy said, but she was right about one thing. Your biggest enemy is, and always has been, yourself. You tend to think of yourself as a being a failure, as being hated. But that isn't true."

"Yeah!" Marcy yells helpfully from the crowd, followed by some pointed hushing. She doesn't seem to notice. "I do actually think you're talented, Dr. D!"

"I think you're really fun!" Someone adds.

"You always know when to stop when we ask."

"You really rock a labcoat, too, Dr. D!"

"I actually like your shoulders!"

The auditorium grows loud, as more and more chibis cheerfully add their kind, honest opinions of the man in the throne. It seems to throw him off, and he looks panicked, shocked, and heartbreakingly, astoundingly confused.

"Wait, WAIT! Everybody STOP. You guys were supposed to make fun of me!"

"We can keep making fun of you if you like, Dr. Doof." Star answers happily. " If you want, but it's all in good fun, right?"

"That doesn't mean we don't think you're also really cool, Dr D. " Mabel adds cheerfully. She has her little piglet in her arms, rocking him affectionately back and forth. " I do it with my brother all the time! I still love him to bits and bits."

From behind one camera, Dipper makes an embarrassed sound. He's still smiling, and Mabel comes around to tug him into a hug, sandwiching Waddles in the middle.

"But that-," Heinz began to sputter indignantly. Somewhere far below, there is a grinding, whining noise. Perry frowns. "But you-! But what about-what about-what about my, hey, what about my doctorate, huh? I bought it off the internet for 15 bucks! My teachers hated me! Im not actually a Doctor."

"We both know you never needed one to prove yourself more than capable of breaking the laws of physics on the daily." Perry chirps drily. There is another chorus of laughter for the not-quite-insult. "And I'm the last person to make fun of you for enjoying a spot of alliteration. Hello, Perry the Platypus?"

"Hey!" Heinz shouts, as the crowd continues to giggle. "This is my roast! Get in line!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Perry coughs into his fist, hiding a smile. " Where were we? Ah, yes, embarrassing you."

Heinz harrumphed, slouching back down into his seat in the assumption that the self loathing party was about to continue apace. Perry clears his throat. "Let's talk about how much you love your daughter."

Heinz shoots straight up, hands clenched into the sides of his seat. He looks, for a second, genuinely hurt, and angry. But Perry meets his gaze dead on, and the man eventually unclenches himself enough to speak, taking a deep breath as he looks away. "Fine. Fine. Whatever. There's nothing you're about to say that will make me feel even a little bit ashamed of how much I love my Vanessa."

"Yes, that is quite the pickle, isn't it? You, Heinz Doofenshmirtz," his voice turns soft despite his best efforts, feeling his cheeks burn fondly in reminiscence. "Are one of the strongest, kindest, sweetest parents I have ever had the pleasure to meet in my life."

Heinz blinks, caught off guard once again as the crowd goes "Awww,"

"You are embarassingly loving, you never let yourself forget the things she tells you she enjoys, even if they're gifts she asked for when she was barely a child. You are protective and vindictive of anything that could possibly come to hurt her, and you have never, ever, ever once forgotten to throw her a birthday, even when you've never had a decent one yourself in all your life,"

And finally, finally, Heinz blushes. A tint of red for being pleasantly flustered instead of the ashamed flush from before. The chibis laugh, coo and yell in playful disgust. Perry smiles smugly, pleased for having turned the tide of the event on its head.

From beneath their feet, the rumble grows, and the whining increases in fever pitch. Chibis begin to jump in surprise, the sounds of joy and celebration turning into ones of distress. Quite tellingly, Heinz looks perfectly unbothered, arms crossed petulantly. Perry raises an eyebrow.

There is a distant boom, muffled by a safe wall of dirt. One part of the stands collapses in on itself, and the chibis get off of it hurriedly. There is an ensuing silence.

Perry and Heinz had not, even once, looked away from one another. Perry leans on his elbow on the podium, raising his second eyebrow. Heinz slumps down his seat.

"Fine. I had an inator that was being charged by the negative energy of insults to take over the chibiverse, yada yada yada. It was supposed to be Platypus proof, because I didn't have time to put a self-destruct button. You jammed the energy input and made it explode by calling me nice things, happy?"

"Delirious." Perry answers, as the crowd cheers in celebration, another scheme thwarted, and another day saved.

The crowd climbs the stage in droves, chanting his name. Perry lets them have their fun, though he's not particularly enjoying being thrown into the air and carried over their heads, off the stage, to the backstage buffet.

He slinks off the second he was able to get away with it, to where Heinz was still curled on the throne in the auditorium hall, scribbling into his inventions book. He's not noticed Perry approaching, peeking over his shoulder to see he was already brainstorming his next scheme for molecular chibiverse domination, muttering angrily to himself.

"-tupid to think he actually meant what he was saying, I should've kept my lid on the plan better, hide my blueprints-,"

"I did, you know." Perry interrupts, and Heinz jumped, clutching the notebook close to his chest. "Meant them, I mean."

Heinz sighs gustily, posing like he's meant to retort something clever, but he's not sure what it is, yet. To render Heinz Doofenshmirtz speechless was no easy feat, adding another tally to Perry's accomplishments this day.

Not that he was ever unappreciative of Heinz's chatty nature.

After opening his mouth and closing it a couple more times, the doctor blurts; "I don't think I'll ever get used to that. You, talking, I mean."

Perry shrugs, self-conscious. Heinz adds, hurriedly, "I didn't say I didn't like it."

Perry tilts his head in question.

"I'll get used to it," Heinz assures, a bit shyly. It's making Perry blush too.

The agent shakes his head. " I don't think…, "

Heinz frowns. "You don't like it? "

Perry shrugs. "I don't need it. " He looks down. "I have you. "

He's not looking, so he isn't able to tell what expression Heinz might be wearing in the following silence.

Heinz breaks it eventually. "You keep doing this, you know?"

When Perry looks up, Heinz had donned a poorly executed scowl. It makes him smile. "Reminding me about the good things. Call me nice, I mean. That's not right. It's ruining my street cred."

The idea of Heinz having a street cred makes him laugh, and even if he does not enjoy most of the actual talking for now, this was nice. Laughing together, and being able to communicate, thoroughly and well, what exactly he adored of his best friend, uninhibited of Heinz's own self-esteem issues.

I love you, Perry wants to say, desperately. He wants to say it more than anything in the world, but even with all the communicative technology at his disposal, he is still hesitant, still scared, of putting his vulnerability into words.

Later, he keeps telling himself. Soon. Eventually. He reaches out to hold Heinz's hand in his own, leadened with all the words he can't bring himself to say.

Heinz smiles, and squeezes like he understands him anyway. Like Perry would have all the time in the world.

It can wait.

[thetardigrape]

Okay yeah when Stede learns the crew killed Ed he takes the news really quietly and calmly and still does the right thing by rescuing them.

And then when they think his suit is cursed he has a massive melodramatic meltdown about it because he's gay and sensitive and he's been needing to have this fucking meltdown for a while and he couldn't really do it before but now they ripped his pocket.

And still, even then, even when he knows there's nothing wrong with the suit and he loves the suit and the way it makes him feel—

He gets rid of it. Because that's what the crew need. And he really, truly is a good captain who cares about his crew. Not as people who serve him, but just as people.

And that's why they're all gonna be okay.

[areyoudoingthis]

I love so many things about the blanket scene, I love everything about it (I didn't type this on purpose apparently I just feel about them the way stede feels about ed.) I love that ed gets to be hurt and melodramatic about it because stede leaving hurt him a lot and stede needed to know this. I love that stede comes back with "I was a whim to you!" because he felt very insecure about ed's feelings for him and not talking about it and agreeing to run away to china instead is what led them to the hard place they're in. I love that stede immediately wants to show ed that he's all in now for good but ed isn't ready to hear "I love you." I love that stede persists nonetheless because he knows ed needs to understand how important he is to stede. I love that they arrive at a place they're both comfortable with: they can talk about their feelings for each other, they can communicate the ways in which they were hurt, they've decided without even needing to say it that they're both still interested in being a couple, they've made each other feel reassured and cherished, and they're ready to go into the world together as a united front

[ladydisdainblog]

My thoughts (and prayer) while I'm diving in Daisy Jones & The Six finale:

— The whole sequence with Nicky in a hotel hall showcased found family trope so well. That was the moment I knew the band's break up is about to be the most painful part of this melodramatic conclusion.

— I think we all enjoyed Simone's story so much exactly because it was a very pinpoint but nuanced narrative and there's no fillers or unnecessary drama.

— I'm so glad they didn't kill Teddy off. Yes, it was the very strong moment in the book, but with this amount of ups and downs another low point would be exhausting for this narrative pace.

— When Eddie exclaimed "Grandma!" I awww-ed so loud that my own grandma came to check if everything is okay😂

— Also Eddie being enthusiastic about new heavier music at the same time he's bitter about Cami is so 2007 of him.

— Ugh, I'm usually Billy's apologist however "She's my wife. I never gonna leave her" somehow felt like the most asshole thing in relation to both of women. Also, dude, this is your mother's house, can you stop being a whore for at least a second.

— Little kiss of Warren and Lisa in the background of a Pittsburgh farewell was so cute. My boy deserved all the good things and he kinda got it in the end. Still the love my life.

— Something something Billy being the oldest member of the band. Something something Roy Kent being the oldest member of FC Richmond. Smth smth boys looking up at Billy since the beginning. Smth smth little Jaime Tartt is idolizing Roy. Smth smth Roy being able to pass his life experiences as a lessons to younger mates and looking after them even when their are cocky shit. Smth smth Billy failling as a leader to read the room and prioritize people and him being a cocky shit himself. Smth smth about Eddie need for validation being constantly overlooked and him losing it even though he knows he's quite good.

— Everyone's costuming for the Chicago show was so fucking hot.

— "More Fun To Miss" scene was indescribably insane. I want to punch them both in a face, I want to put self exploding bracelets on their legs and forbid to move closer than 100 steps. I want them to fuck nasty.

— As great as Daisy and Cami's conversation was in the book, it's kinda cool that Daisy made the decision to let Billy go and come clean on her own.

— Look, here the thing: I don't like what they did to Billy and Camila as couple. But I do like what they did for them individually. And yes, Camila is way more jealousy and bitter, but it's also feels rawer and more real than a straight from a pedestal woman who never communicated her frustration and insecurities to her partner.

— In conclusion it's not perfect but very compelling adaptation with an absolutely phenomenal cast. I loved Riley since "Logan Lucky' and she was born for this part. I had zero expectations for Camila Morrone and she did justice to proud spirit of book!Camila even when the script was against it. And Sam, the actor you are... There's was no need to go that hard on this but I'm glad that he did.

[jam-n-jay]

i love this scene so much because you can tell Hohenheim is just absolutely ITCHING to do like a casual-but-still-melodramatic introductory monologue and Ed just cuts him off with a swift clock to the face

[londonspirit]

The Big Picture

The second season of Our Flag Means Death takes a unique approach to the trope of separating romantic couples, exploring the emotional ramifications instead of resolving it quickly.

Season 2 delves into the heartbreaking consequences of the split between Stede and Ed, showcasing Stede's pure affection and Ed's descent into self-destruction and violence.

While their reunion is a melodramatic and intimate affair, the emotional reconciliation between Stede and Ed will likely unfold over time due to the aftermath they have both experienced. The show's strength lies in its intentional pacing and character development.

Tropes are tropes for a reason: when done with clever forethought, they're a comforting delight. As with anything recycled a hundred times over, however, there are the Bad Tropes; the "please, beloved media, don't fall into that lazy writing trap." One of these Bad Tropes surrounds break-ups. When a series separates its main romantic couple, the split tends to lack lasting consequences or finds itself resolved altogether too quickly. Exploring the emotional ramifications for each character, let alone those on the periphery, takes a backseat in favor of restoring things to the status quo. It shouldn't be a surprise to fans of Our Flag Means Death that Season 2's first three episodes didn't take the expected route. Nevertheless, the relief that the first season's intelligent writing didn't vanish overnight burns as bright as the fictional pain that cuts like a knife.

David Jenkins' period pirate rom-com could've easily, immediately reunited the unlikely star-crossed lovers Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) and Edward Teach/Blackbeard (Taika Waititi) or smoothed over their climatic separation. Season 2 does neither, avoiding that temptation. It forces its own storytelling to earn their reunion in a way as slow burn as the romance's development. For a series already acknowledged for its insightful writing, that's the smartest move David Jenkins could've made.

‘Our Flag Means Death’ Season 2 Earns Its Darkness

Season 1 of Our Flag Means Death was aggressively revolutionary in its quiet normalization. It shattered Western television's long-established history of queerbaiting (teasing an LGBTQIA+ relationship for attention but never confirming it) just by existing. Our Flag Means Death's romance between Stede Bonnet and Ed Teach wasn't just unambiguous, it was a tender takedown of toxic masculinity, an intimate exploration of male vulnerability, and a story of two opposites stumbling into their perfect compliment. By seeing beyond the other's unconventional exterior and expressing tenderness, Stede and Ed become one another's safe space: their lighthouse in the dark, if you will.

Then the Season 1 finale ate fans' dreams for (temporary) breakfast. Shattering a happy couple usually means drama for drama's sake; said decisions aren't concerned with character growth or arc resolution. Not only are those the express purposes behind Stede and Ed's split, Our Flag Means Death Season 2 forces us to witness all the bloody misery, psychologically vivisecting both characters. The differences in each man's perspectives have never been more heartbreaking than charming; now it's the reverse. The pure simplicity of Stede's affection is just that: pure. He writes Ed love letters. He dreams about being a traditional pirate who exacts violent revenge before running into Ed's arms along a sunset beach. He's a man reveling in his first love, and he's gloriously smitten while also painfully yearning in his loneliness and regret. Even surrounded by members of his crew, without Ed nearby, Stede's skin doesn't quite fit his exuberant body. It's the same revolutionary gentleness Our Flag Means Death displayed in the crafting of their romance.

Then there's Ed. Even with the series' reliable banter and rom-com undertones still in play, it's difficult to watch his parade of slaughter without flinching. He labels himself the devil and is, at certain times, worthy of the moniker. Ed hasn't merely re-embraced his Blackbeard persona through his homicidal actions, he's spiraled into suicidal self-destruction. There's no goal except torment, no outlet save violence. He sprays innocent blood at weddings. He maims his crew via torture and courts their retaliation. And it heals nothing; he lies despondent on the floor clinging to a wedding token that reminds him of Stede. Ed's brutal unpredictability is both disturbing and heartbreaking, especially since he's relieved when the crew of the Revenge mutinies and nearly kills him. Our Flag Means Death never holds back on where the heartbreak of shattered vulnerability might tip a traumatized murderer, both holding Ed accountable and empathizing. This triplicate of episodes marks the best acting of Taika Waititi's career for balancing all the scripts' demands, especially with their unhurried detail. Everything could have been resolved in the first episode, but that would've betrayed all that Season 1 carefully developed.

‘Our Flag Means Death’s Love Story Has Always Been Vulnerable

Underneath the quirky pirate shenanigans, Our Flag Means Death deconstructs childhood trauma: the ricochet effects on individuals' lives and how courageous and healing it is to give and receive emotional vulnerability. Ed views himself as a monster, and this inherent belief in his unlovable irredeemablity, seemingly confirmed by Stede's abandonment, manifests outward into trying to burn down the world. He and Steed were both lost souls, but Ed's outcast state took the too-relatable form of self-hatred. When he decides to live in Episode 3 after actively imagining all the ways he could die, it's a sentiment in line with Season 1's themes as everything else. The moment's earned, and means something, precisely because Our Flag Means Death took its time getting there.

Meanwhile, Stede the daydreamer is left to reckon with Ed's actions. He tries to reason them away; he's never seen Ed reduced to his darkest base impulses-slash-coping mechanisms, so Stede's beloved is just "blowing off steam," surely. It's Lucius (Nathan Foad), the man who survived Ed's murder attempt, who forces Steed to look directly at "the man he loves" in all his shades: beheadings, arson, senseless parades of violence. (When freaking Izzy Hands wants to protect the crew from further "suffering," you had better start paying attention.) Only acknowledging Ed's better side is the same romanticization Stede applied to the entire idea of gentleman piracy. Much like the audience, Stede now has no choice but to either accept Ed or truly reject him and acknowledge his own unintentional culpability. Then, Stede's the only person who refuses to write Ed off as a lost cause. He's seen the terrified, tender man behind the kraken. And this reckoning wouldn't have happened, or would've occurred under less satisfying and revelatory circumstances, if Stede hadn't dashed back home.

Stede and Ed’s Reunion in ‘Our Flag Means Death’ Season 2 Won’t Be Easy, but It Will Be Worth It

Our Flag Means Death keeping Stede and Ed apart for three episodes of reflection also makes their inevitable reunion more effective. One of the things the series does best stays intact: Jenkins both embraces his rom-com inspirations — Stede leaping into the ocean, professing his love over a dying Ed, and a symbolic rescue involving a merman tail set to a Kate Bush needle drop — and twists them onto their heads. There's no instant catharsis, as Stede finds the Revenge a tomb of hate. But he still saves his crew, and he still saves Ed. This Stede Bonnet is assured and decisive, a far cry from the man we met in the pilot. He knows what he wants, which isn't wasting his wealth on the high seas but being with the man he adores more than any treasure. It's only fitting that their reunion is a melodramatic, silly, and achingly intimate affair on both sides. Neither character would know themselves as well or reached an emotional breaking point to rebuild from without having spent time apart.

Having said that, although Stede and Ed are physically reunited, Season 2 has sat in the horrible aftermath for too long for the emotional reconciliation to be instantaneous. This is Season 1's reverse slow-burn echo. Even if the pair "talk it through as a crew," the raw encounter will likely unfold over time. There's too much behind them to rush into the future. Everything in Our Flag Means Death is building toward an intentional conclusion. Its best strengths, namely building character through pacing, are already soaring as high as a raised ship flag.

New episodes of Our Flag Means Death Season 2 premiere Thursdays on Max.

[taylortruther]

oh my god thank you. there is nothing i hate more than melodramatic edits of real people’s lives. people on tiktok will put pictures of taylor and joe together with the caption ‘did we make it?’ and then the next slide says ‘no :(.’ like. okay. 💀 sometimes it will be about her ED, which is just so inappropriate. like they’ll put a picture of 2017-19 taylor with the caption ‘she got so big!’ or something (supposedly what people say about her idk. I’ve seen more swifties discuss her body than haters but whatever) and then the next slide will be something from the 1989 era with the caption ‘…’. or they’ll have this trend where current taylor is talking to her past selves about the eras tour, and obviously every other taylor is excited, but then 1989 era taylor goes ‘three HOURS?’ 💀 it’s such a common trend that no matter how many times i click ‘not interested,’ it still shows up periodically because i do generally watch taylor edits. rant over.

sorry i'm still stuck on "did we make it?" "no :("

[mslullabies]

Idk why I'm posting this, I'm not trying to say anything about what should or shouldn't happen or have happened or anything like that. I guess I just want to state for the record that I'm sad.

A Treatise On Breaking and Repairs was the fic I turned to while I was grieving when my sister was sick and after she died.

Make Your Bed and Lie In It was the fic of the pandemic for me, it was like the epic poem of the essential worker - I could feel the palpable exhaustion in every word of it just resonating off of my own constant, unending exhaustion, every time I re-read it these last 3 years.

I had scribbled out the first part of a fic inspired by For Safekeeping in the aftermath of the loss of Roe v Wade - not deliberately mind you, I was just seized with a writing bug, and it all poured out of me like a waterfall, and it wasn't until that flow stopped that I realized that I was writing about the horror of existing as sentient livestock.

I have a penchant for weird little acts of fannishness, usually not posted anywhere, they're just for me, usually combining the fannish thing with some other hobby of mine. I want(ed?) to make a Lego diorama of a scene from sanguine. I've sketched out the scene a bit, I've looked at acquiring/customizing more 212th minifigs. I'd been looking for a work to copy when playing with my fountain pens and inks and practicing my handwriting - mountainofink always copies jrrt's work when testing inks for example - and I finally settled on sanguine, like last week. I'm still doing these things, but the context in which I am doing them is different now. This is melodramatic to say but I can't think of another way to describe it - these works now feel slightly ghostly, the thing they are trying to interact with and respond to is no longer alive.

I still have the comments I left on these fics and the always kind and gracious replies glimmerglanger sent, in the form of email notifications, so I'm glad I never delete anything I guess.

I also have copies of most of their works now, thanks to the very generous and kind curators who put lists and dl links together. Even with rec lists though, the odds of new fans, or fans new to fic, finding their works is now enormously decreased. Their work is not part of the active flow of the fandom anymore, it's separated in a way that I'm struggling to articulate. Even though I have these fics and can continue to engage with them, and to engage with Star Wars through them, that engagement now feels confined in some way. It feels ghostly.

[hero-israel]

I found an organization called the Indigenous Coalition for Israel, which looks pretty good, but it’s apparently an international Christian initiative according to the website. Should I distrust this as an Evangelical ploy or something?

Also, I learned about it from an article on Tablet, which is a pretty good Jewish news site generally but they often go a little crazy (they had one article about how evil the trans rights movement was from a token cis gay guy who I could find no other writing credits from so he might not even be real (the article is melodramatically called “The Great Transitioning”) and I watched a talk from one of papers’ leaders and he said because of antisemtism on campuses, Jews shouldn’t go to college)

Tablet is wildly, embarrassingly erratic. They've had a lot of good commentary from respectable authors like Matti Friedman, Dara Horn, and Phyllis Chesler, but they also platform absolute far-right wackos who insist Q is real, hydroxychloroquine is better than vaccines, and environmentalists are pussies. They did apologize for their "Harvey Weinstein is a particularly Jewish kind of rapist" article, but it is still on their site. Just this very week they published a propagandistic profile of RFK Jr. that went all-in on his anti-vaxxism. In like 2015-16 I was comfortable citing Tablet as a source in mixed company, but now I often hesitate. I'll sometimes still post their better articles here, but I usually first check to see if someone less crankish has covered the topic.

And that ambivalence is on-topic for the Indigenous Coalition for Israel, which seems to be a non-proselytizing, non-apocalyptic Christian / Maori philosemitic group based in New Zealand. I've seen a lot of their op-eds around, including in Israeli papers, and most of what they write about that topic is a good match for what I already believe. As a concept, it is very beneficial to counter the bullshit narrative that Jews are white colonizers, indigenous to nowhere, and that the fight against Zionism is the same as getting European rulers out of Vietnam and Zimbabwe and whatever. Unfortunately, their founder seems to be a TERF. I don't have the heart to search back much further through her Twitter feed for examples before the Posie Parker thing. Any concepts that ICFI articulated that happened to be positive and good for Jews and Zionism were already true before and regardless of ICFI's involvement. If they are not safe allies for LGBT Jews, we don't need to settle for them as allies at all.

[dearreader]

hello! welcome back to my FMA Characters as Taylor Swift albums!!! previous albums are here:

debut, fearless (taylor’s version), speak now (taylor’s version)

now, lets talk about the album that spinning 'round in our head’s burning:

RED (Taylor’s Version)

Trisha Elric

- THE album of all time

- red was my first era, my first concert, my first foray into the swiftie community (which is still up for debate on if that was good for me or not) but it's still one of my favorite albums and will forever hold a special place in my heart.

- i loved this album before atw10 dropped and am 100% positive this album has affected my writing to be so overtly melodramatic because i know listening to the line

"and all we are is skin and bone/trained to get along/ forever going with the flow/but your friction" at the age of 12 fucked me up (affectionate)

- the way this album connects you're first real heartbreak to a season and describes the absolute devastation that comes with not only losing it but losing yourself is still one of the best pieces of art to ever be made

- she was ROBBED of her album of the year grammy

- but trisha fits this idea and motif to me. from everything we see about her she is the greatest person ever, like embodiment of light type of person, though she is lost to the world in her death and because of that she haunts the narrative and the actions of several characters, setting ed and al on their journey through trying to bring her back in grief and only amplifying hohenheims guilt over leaving his family to defeat father

- this one is less about what the album means to the character but what the character does for the narrative and how that relates to them.

- trisha isn't meant to be a deep character, she is mainly there to serve as a plot device to get ed and al on their journeys (similarly to hughes' death for roy). without her death ed and al wouldn't have attempted human transmutation and roy would've never gone to recruit them. and izumi wouldn't have taken either of as students.

- she is meant to haunt the readers thoughts though

- to think about her ghost and how her love still impacts the characters story

- she is the red album in that she is something that hangs around you. something that you can't quite shake off (🥁)

- to quote other taylor albums, she's a wine stained dress you can't wear anymore. her memories follow you around. she comes back into your mind in burning red. you see something that reminds you of her and you think of her. she is grief as it's merely an expression of love after death.

- she is meant to be dead and gone but even so people can't let go of her. they can't stop thinking of her or doing reckless things to try and get her back.

- shes like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it all

- …

- trisha was also diagnosed as red album because i view the evermore album as the red album grown up (and i view folklore as speak now all grown up. no i will not elaborate you either get it or you don't) as that's another album that discuses heartbreak and hoping that a person you'll love will return even though the universe is telling you it won't be that way but in a more mature, having seen more of the world than RED. (i will also elaborate more on this later and you'll probably get what i mean here)

- but anyway, hope this made sense cause i feel like i went to deep into pretension english major territory

- apologies if did.

[finniestoncrane]

if it's ok i had a idea where ed gets (ever so slightly, oswald rly overreacts <3) injured after a mini crime spree where he put himself in danger for oswald's attention. he's a kinky mf so most kinks would be fine but i'd love some spanking, possessive daddy oswald and brat ed. maybe even a collar/leash lol or anything adjacent 💖 also just want you to know you're an amazing writer and person!!!

Harm's Way

Nygmobblepot, word count: 500 my sweet lil baby bean i can absolutely indulge this, he's a kinky little muppet and i love him, but i think i made him too subby oops 💜 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: violence, danger, almost injury, lil kinky, mostly suggestive, some humiliation/degradation implied

“Don’t be stupid, Oswald, I am perfectly fine and more than capable of-”

Ed was interrupted by a tirade of screams from Oswald, punctuated by his exasperated and melodramatic hand movements and stomping. A typical tantrum.

“If you’re going to shout, I’m not going to listen.”

With lips pursed, head tilted up and back straightened in an effort to seem, or feel, taller, Oswald let out a deep sigh and waved his hands over his chest.

“Fine…fine…I can calm down. I don’t know why I’m expected to though considering that you could have been blasted into nothingness!”

“I have a scrape on my elbow.”

His lips twisted as he furrowed his brows at Ed.

“A scrape which very well could have been a lost limb, or a lost life. How poorly would that reflect on me to have my partner decimated so easily?”

“I’m surprised you even knew I was gone.”

His features softened again, trying to at least appear outwardly calm against his internal rage.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve been so caught up in this immense undertaking of your grand heist, that you’ve barely been able to see past your own nose.”

Oswald closed his eyes in disbelief at Ed’s subordination.

“Was that supposed to be funny?”

“Well…no, actually.”

“So, you’ve put yourself in danger to prove a point? To get some…attention?”

It never ceased to amaze Ed how someone could not only sound painfully sarcastic, but also look sarcastic. And yet Oswald achieved this on a semi-permanent basis.

“You did. You would get in harm’s way just to get a reaction out of me?”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

The timidness in Ed’s voice was entirely put on. He knew how much Oz preferred him to be submissive, and he was more than willing to play into it, to receive the attention he craved.

“Turn around.”

Oswald barked out his instructions, and Edward was quick to follow, turning around to face the wall, hands against it as he braced himself. The anticipation of his touch, be it tainted with anger and disappointment or subtly evocative of Oswald’s possessive love, either was good.

The dull thud of Oswald’s cane against the back of his thighs came as a shock, but a pleasant one. A further strike, and another, moving up the skin until the cane was coming down hard on his still clothed cheeks.

“I’m angry with you, but I’m equally enraged by whoever thought they could harm you and get away with it. The very notion baffles me. You’re mine, and everyone is aware of that.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

A further crack of the cane against him, skin stinging even under the protective layer of clothing, a smile threatening to creep onto his face, Ed managed to stifle the joyful whimper.

“You’ll take me to the person who did this and we’ll see to it that the matter is resolved.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“And you’ll wear your collar. And I’ll take you on your leash. Embarrassing or not, you evidently can’t be trusted on your own.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“Yes. Sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

[rozonrozark]

A lot of people in the Ao3 comment sections thought Hawkmoth was the one who attacked the meeting, I never understood that. It's way too far from his MO. I just figured it was some random American villain either attacking the UH heroes or attacking Cheshire in retaliation for her actions in the NY attack. Possibly Techlonizer or Evilnator, but it could be another villain we haven't been heard of.

About the sentikids thing, I would personally not make Adrien one. There's just no point to it. Think about it, if Adrien was released form his amok while unaware of it, then there's nothing more that can be done with that plot line. So what if he's a sentimonster? He cannot be controlled or destroyed like a sentimonster. You might be able to get some minor angst form "Am I really a person", but that borders on melodramatic.

Also, there's this line from Gabriel's PoV in the Early discovery AU:

"This is why they should have gone with the plan of a sentimonster child!"

But like... that's one line in a side story, it can be retconned pretty easily and no one would bat an eye.

Lastly, I was checking out some of your earlier posts and saw this:

This post is from before I made the timeline. Does it still apply or is the august birthday a thing now?

Yeah, I don't know why so many people were thinking it was HM. I think it was due to me not hinting that villains from outside of Paris could be there... Oh well, it is done and enough people figured it out..

As for the sentikid thing like I said and implied in the other AU in the ED AU I'm personally not fond of the senti Adrien. I also agree that the only reason that it is canon most of the time is for drama and I don't think I'm going to add it but then again it is confirmed canon... Have I mentioned recently how much I hate how much I hate canon.

Now as for my past post about Mari's birthday, that is something I am willing to go with your timeline the only reason I said it would be around February is that in Canon it took place during the school year so I tried to figure out when during school it would make sense but I guess this is just another time I'm willing to toss it aside and just go with what makes the most sense.

[carewyncromwell]

"Sorry, but I've had enough of running away, Sophie. Now I've got something I want to protect -- it's you."

x~x~x~x

Another installment of the "Halloween costume" sketches where I dress one of my MC's as a character from one of my favorite animated movies! This time, I'm giving some long-delayed love to my Marauders Era boy-band member, Edmund "Ed" Rosier, by dressing him up as Howl Jenkins-Pendragon from Studio Ghibli's Howl's Moving Castle!

Of Ghibli's work, Howl's Moving Castle is actually not in my top three (those would be Whisper of the Heart, Castle in the Sky, and Kiki's Delivery Service), but that doesn't mean I still don't really enjoy it. My favorite aspects are the music, the overall aesthetic, and, of course, the two main characters, Sophie and Howl -- and honestly, as soon as I thought of Howl for this prompt, I realized that he was 120% a perfect fit for Ed. Not only are these two both pacifistic sorts who loathe war and conflict, but nonetheless have to gain the courage needed to fight in it-- not only are they both melodramatic, but clever wizards who end up building their own "found family" over time -- not only do they both put out a very suave, charming affect to the outside world and have their fair share of romantic admirers because of it -- but Ed used to dye his hair blond when he was young, before going back to his natural darker color, just like Howl does over the course of the film!!

I hope to have other sketches for this series ready before the end of the "Spooky Month"...in the meantime, though, much love to you all! xoxo

[twistedtummies2]

Barnaby - The Three Best of the Worst

“Babes in Toyland” is a very strange case when it comes to Christmastime staples. Most people haven’t even seen or heard the original operetta created by Victor Herbert (who was inspired by the works of L. Frank Baum), and the actual story changes depending on which of the many televised adaptations (and even a few newer stage interpretations) you look at. Certain things do stay the same throughout them all, but virtually none of them have any real faithfulness to the source material, instead mixing and matching different elements to create their own unique version.

The one thing that practically every version of “Babes in Toyland” keeps, however, is its central antagonist: Barnaby, the Crooked Man of Mother Goose fame. Barnaby is a classic melodrama villain; a pure evil nasty of the highest order, who is entertaining in how unrepentantly and enthusiastically wicked he is. While elements of his character do change throughout different versions, he is an archetypal baddy in every rendition, and while other things in “Toyland” change from version to version - the names of the protagonists, the plots of the stories, and even the songs featured - Barnaby is a presence in every single one. Toyland just isn’t Toyland without its resident nasty ol’ Crooked Man. Out of the numerous takes on “Babes in Toyland,” and numerous takes on Barnaby in turn, everybody has a personal favorite of their own. Today, I just wanted to present my three favorite versions of the character. By extension, you can basically call this my three favorite versions of “Babes in Toyland” as well. Again, there are others out there - a cult classic 80s version starring Keanu Reeves, an episode of the Shirley Temple Show which featured Jonathan Winters as Barnaby, etc. - but these are the three nearest and dearest to my heart. So, without further ado, allow me to present my picks for My Top 3 Favorite Portrayals of Barnaby!

3. Ray Bolger, from the 1961 Disney Film.

The Disney version is probably the best-known take on “Babes in Toyland” nowadays (most likely because it IS the Disney version, so to speak). While the film is a bit clumsy in places, it’s still a lot of fun. Most people agree that the two best parts of the film come in the form of two actors/characters. One is Ed Wynn as the bumbling Toymaker…mostly because it’s Ed Wynn. The other, of course, is Barnaby, played by Ray Bolger. If that name or face seems familiar, Bolger - almost two decades prior to the film - was one of the main characters in a little film from the late 30s I’m sure none of you have heard of called “The Wizard of Oz.” Yes, boys and girls: that’s the Scarecrow! And ironically, I think he and the Wicked Witch would get along splendidly in this outing. Bolger’s charisma is a big part of what makes his Barnaby such a joy; the performance, writing, and direction all REALLY ham the character up to the Nth degree, take this already melodramatic archetype and making him a pure pantomime villain. He breaks the fourth wall, he dances, he gets into a swordfight, he makes all of the crazy faces you’d expect, he even speaks in rhyme! He wears the cape, he twirls the moustache, he’s everything you’d want out of a bad guy like this in spades. Bolger is clearly having the time of his life with this over-the-top slimeball, and it’s just a joy to watch him work. My only problem with this Barnaby, and the reason he’s the lowest in the ranks, is that while Barnaby has always been a hammy character with a humorous side to his personality, I think I prefer it when there’s a bit more balance between the humor and the menace. There are one or two moments where Bolger’s Barnaby is actually pretty threatening (the aforementioned swordfight is a good example), but for the most part he’s just a riot. That’s not a bad thing, because he truly is a ton of fun to watch, I guess I just like it when the character is a LITTLE more menacing.

2. Christopher Plummer, from the 1997 Animated Film.

This TV film adaptation of the story (or is it direct-to-video? There seem to be conflicting accounts there.) is not highly regarded, and admittedly for good reason. Of the three versions listed here, it’s probably the least well-made of the bunch. It’s not God-Awful, but it’s very…“generic 90s animated kids movie,” if that phrase gives you any idea. However, I have a soft spot for this film, largely because it’s actually the first version of “Babes in Toyland” I ever saw. And even as a kid, my favorite character was always the villain of the story: Christopher Plummer as Barnaby Crookedman. (Yes, that is literally his full name in this version, as if his identity needed to be spelled out.) Plummer brings that extra little touch of menace to the part that I felt largely lacking in Bolger’s interpretation; he’s still overall a melodrama villain, but here there’s a bit more balance. In a weird way, Barnaby here feels more like a Disney Villain than…well…the ACTUAL Disney Villain version of Barnaby is! Something else I admire is that they actually give a small amount of empathy to the character in this version: it’s strongly indicated that the reason Barnaby is so cruel and nasty is because, as a child, he was never shown love. He’s never had any friends, never had any toys to play with, and that’s left him crooked both inside and out. However, don’t go thinking that means there’s much reason to sympathize with or feel sorry for Barnaby: this version does some of the absolute worst things of any take on the character, and shows no sign of remorse for any of his actions. There’s no redemption for Barnaby, no matter what his origins; he’s too far gone. Plummer gives a solid performance in the role, and this remains among my Top 12 of his characters just for the sheer nostalgia of it all. Again, the movie overall isn’t too great, but this is one of the first versions I still think of when I think of Barnaby.

1. Henry Brandon, from the 1934 Laurel & Hardy Film.

Laurel & Hardy’s “Babes in Toyland” was first released in 1934 in black-and-white; later the film was re-released in a colorized format (as you can see via the pictorial reference) and retitled “March of the Wooden Soldiers.” (I have no idea why.) What I love most about this film is that, despite being a Laurel & Hardy venture, this actually isn’t a parody piece: unlike some later films of a similar nature, such as “Snow White and the Three Stooges” or the Abbott & Costello Meet the Monsters series, which are basically comedic satires of the characters or stories involved, “Babes in Toyland” is treated more like a straightforward fantasy/fairy-tale film. It definitely DOES have a comedic side to it, of course, but rather than mocking the universe in question or contrasting it sharply with the silliness of the comedians involved, it just treats Laurel & Hardy as if they are just characters in the story, so to speak. The film isn’t afraid to get a bit dark and intense at times, and this is most evident with Barnaby. Played by Henry Brandon (nee Kleinbach), Silas Barnaby, as he’s called in this version, definitely has some humorous scenes. There’s absolutely no subtlety to the role at all. But unlike Bolger, Brandon brings an edge of danger and something bordering on the edge of insanity with the character, which makes his Barnaby feel far more intimidating. He gets involved in some slapstick, but the shrieking laugh he lets out as he tries to summon man-eating monsters, the almost animalistic ferocity he shows in his duel with Tom-Tom Piper, and near-demonic expression he has on his face as he leads his forces to invade Toyland at the climax, all give him a definite darkness that no other version of Barnaby has really been able to match. On top of that, there’s a sort of unintentional empathy to this Barnaby, as well: it’s a long story, but contemporary audiences have noted there are elements of Brandon’s performance and the script that hint there might be a soft side to Barnaby under his devilish demeanor. While likely not intended by the actor, nor the writers, they’re still interesting to note. In other words, this Barnaby has everything both of the previous Barnabys I’ve spoken of have in spades, and he’s in a generally better (albeit older) movie! This is the version I now think of first and foremost when I think of Barnaby, or even when I think of the Crooked Man from Mother Goose. That, above all else, earns him the meaningless title of My Favorite Portrayal of Barnaby from “Babes in Toyland.” Happy Christmas Eve, everybody!

[harmonicabisexuals]

X Files Rewatch: Season 7

overall thoughts: I hate to say it but this might be my least favorite season so far? I still really enjoyed it for the most part and there were a few genuinely amazing episodes in here but i gotta admit the blatant flirting was one of the only things that kept some of these more mediocre episodes watchable

msr: the huge debate over when they actually became A Thing is kind of impossible to find a definitive answer for, but I tend to subscribe to the idea that "millennium" was their first kiss (bc it was awkward! but still sweet) and that things progressed quickly from there, bc there is no other explanation for their behavior in "rush" that makes sense in my mind lol. at the same time though, i can see the argument for "all things" being their first time, and i can even make a case for something happening post-"amor fati" or even post-"milagro" if I'm feeling especially silly. in truth though, the main reason why i don't want "all things" to be their first time (even though it makes narrative sense) is that i just want them to have as much time together as possible before mulder's abduction :(

writing: i am still in a committed loving relationship with vince gilligan and i loved all of his episodes with the exception of "hungry", but that was mostly for the lack of M/S interaction and the weird treatment of EDs. but "x-cops" was hilarious and so creative, and "je souhaite" is one of my favorite episodes of the series and honestly a microcosm of the thesis of the show. I also really enjoyed both david duchovny and gillian anderson's solo penned/directed episodes. "hollywood ad" is hilarious and sweet, and "all things" is so quietly introspective with some really beautiful things to say about fate and free will.

directing: one of my favorite sequences in the entire series is the end of "orison" when scully shoots pfaster, it's SO chilling, it makes me literally clutch my chest. rob bowman literally going out with a bang, if i chose to forget about "en ami" (which i'm still mad was his last episode of the series). sigh. "sein und zeit", "closure" and "all things" are also beautifully directed episodes, and i loved vince gilligan's funky directing in "je souhaite" i think his shots and camera angles really add to the comedic bits

hair: their worst hairstyles in the whole series 😭 by the end of the season they've grown out to a better length, but gillian's mid-season hair is especially tragic

favorite episodes: sein und zeit, closure, x-cops, all things, hollywood ad, je souhaite

68% of episodes worth rewatching, and that's being generous...yikes

individual episodes reactions under the cut:

The Sixth Extinction- wtf is happening…scully’s melodramatic letters to mulder tho <3

The Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati- YOU WERE MY CONSTANT, MY TOUCHSTONE

Hungry- the monster guy looks like a young christian bale

Millennium- I forgot the plot of the entire episode once they kissed

Rush- guys stop eye fucking you’re literally at a crime scene

The Goldberg Variation- scully smiling :))))

Orison- choosing to ignore that they made pfaster a demon, otherwise really good

The Amazing Maleeni- silly and smiley :)

Signs and Wonders- terrible terrible awful I hate snakes

Sein Und Zeit- :((( the spiritual successor to paper hearts

Closure- cried like a baby at the end bc I am a sensitive cancer <3

X-Cops- no one does meta humor like the x files

First Person Shooter- a more sexist, more boring kill switch. pass.

Theef- creepy but meh minus the blatant flirting

En Ami- disgusting, was literally dry heaving through the second half 

Chimera- one funny scully monologue but otherwise meh

All Things- beautifully quiet and introspective, also congrats on the sex

Brand X- boring

Hollywood A.D.- so goofy but really funny

Fight Club- terrible, unwatchable

Je Souhaite- amazing, adorable, hilarious, cried real tears at the end

Requiem- this whole episode was just one long Jesse from breaking bad screaming noooo gif