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ajdrawshq · 1 year

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3, 9, 23 :D

u know u did smth right when i have to re-look up how to do readmores on mobile for an ask cksbxjsbn

3 - 1-3 games you've played in the past 12 months that you really enjoyed

Omori, Radiant Historia, and Octopath Traveler (in that order)!! and probably several more that im currently forgetting bc the last few months felt like years. i saw Omori on game pass n since i remembered seeing the occasional post abt it i decided to try it out and man!!!! good fucking game!!!!! i dont talk abt it often bc theres very little i can say abt it that hasnt already been said, but it means a lot to me - both the games messages and the world n characters. i even got some new mutuals out of it :3 then Radiant Historia.. i could say a million things abt this game and i Have (most of which is still in my drafts) but god i wish more ppl knew abt this thing. it has its flaws for sure but it does some stuff ive never seen in other games, or not quite the way they do it. n im super attached to the characters <3 probably one of my favorite time travel games by far. and then!!! Octopath Traveler!!!! my most recent beloved.. i did Not think id like it as much as i do but now im very not normal abt it. its such a gorgeous game both in story and the general Vibe of it all its just so <3

9 - A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved

definitely octopath. i didnt know Anything going into this game other than that someone recommended it to me bc i also like radiant historia so there had to be some kinda similarity there. going into it, i wasnt sure how following 8 seperate characters and 8 seperate storylines would work nor did i think the endgame would tie them all togther that well, if at all. starting up the game wasnt the most interesting, like when ur going around collecting all 8 characters for the first time and trying to keep up with em all, BUT!! its the kinda game that gets good if u put the time and effort into it and before long i already had 100 hours in. after a while i got really attached to the main team id been using and the other 4 were just as interesting, even the ones i didnt expect to like much?? i adore all the different dynamics within this funny lil ragtag found family so much and all their individual stories.. and everything else is incredible too!! the music is SO fucking good its literally all live orchestrations (and all the musicians are credited too!!) and the boss themes and town themes and route themes are all gorgeous. the graphics are fucking ridiculous, like this game has the best water graphics ive ever seen and that is not an exaggeration in the slightest, and the snow is so so pretty, and the blur effects.. mwah. the overworld pixel art is cute and the enemy/boss pixel art is suprisingly beautiful and detailed. the level design for dungeon-esque areas made treasure hunting fun and i like having to search for hidden pathways in a game built in such a different way than im used to (tho i still have yet to find a way to certain treasure chests >:/). and the gameplay - ive never seen an rpg with set characters that is as flexible as this. u can literally build any character any way and it will be perfectly usable and that is so awesome to me. like theres definitely some optimized builds, but if u wanna make the heavy hitting physical tank guy into a magic dps machine there is nothing stopping u. and he Will kick ass. the gameplay is straight up made for u to do whatever u want with it. the whole world is entirely at ur fingertips. anyway very cute game highly recommend it <3

also worth mentioning are omori, 999, and kh3, but only to some extent bc i technically knew at least Some stuff beforehand for each game but not enough to like. Know. yknow

23 - A "wow" moment of awe

ohhh ive been wanting to talk abt this for a while now thank u for enabling me. in octopath traveler, a Big moment for me was entering the .. spoilery true ending area. ive played a lot of games by now. there are very, very few that have 1. made me genuinely worried about a side character ive met 3 times total n had little more than neutral feelings about and 2. made me feel Actual Dread upon entering an area. the vibe is incredible. first going to a place thats talked about only in tales of a recent tragedy, where there is almost no sound, no life, nothing but burnt, abandoned remains, a save point, and an entrance. and when you actually go inside.. good god. the music is haunting. just the very place is haunting - quite literally!! and the massive lore drops along the way,, man. Man. theres a fuck ton of stuff they just drop on you all at once (some ppl dont like the massive infodump style and im usually the same but i was so fucked up by it i actually absorbed it all lmao), but One Specific Reveal alone was its own wow moment and i havent fully recovered from it. and then the final fucking boss(es)???? hello?????? and the fact that within the eye you can even see (spoiler)........ oughhh. and thats not even mentioning the leadup to it all - the hints are somewhat obvious as you complete each characters ending, but they dont really tie together until you find the diaries. some are more subtle, like the previously mentioned reveal that continues to fuck me up whenever i think about it and i have yet to recover from the whole thing. yes the true endgame is ridiculous and hard as shit and everyone hates doing it. yes its one of the most awe striking moments ive ever felt in a game and i wish i could do it again without the literal suffering that comes with it. no its not even worth it but id do it. yes i am so fucking normal about this game

i also need to mention 999, aitsf, and stella glow here bc holy fuck the three of them deserve it. ive talked abt the first two at some point on their own (the safe ending........ that fucking safe ending!!!!!!!!!!) n i dont have it in me to do a whole thing on stella glow after that ^ so just. trust me on this. ill probably rant abt it at some point its really one hell of a game. oh also ffxv but specifically bc of like the first cutscene where it shows the chocobros getting ready to leave bc that was the first time since id played kh1 and kh2 thatd id seen such pretty looking graphics n characters

#can u tell that im. very into a specific game rn #octopath makes me feel so many Things i need to punch a wall #made my rantings as spoiler free as i could just in case someone following me wants to play it <3 very good game i highly recommend it #literally couldnt stop playing it for my entire first playthrough im so in love with it #ive been writing this for so long i had to block a bot midway #rants that make me feel like squenix should pay me for advertisement .#BUT. YEAH. THANKS FOR THE ASK LMAO <3 #ask #honrupi

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1990jeevas · 3 years

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Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

#shit self #asks #the get down #mylene cruz #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #long post #analysis #info dump #idk if anon has seen tgd or is just being nice so i tried givinh background to things #kinz #bangerz #discourse

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irameii · 4 years

Text

HEATHER:||: ERIC

Warnings:|| one sided love

Summary: I wish I was her....

A laugh rings throughout the air. One so familiar, you cant help but smiling automatically at the sound. His presence, one that illuminates wherever he goes. Slowly turning around, there he is ,your best friend.

There it is , a smile, a gesture so simple yet it causes a million butterflies to flutter within you and causes your mind to go fuzzy. Its like he doesn't know his own charm or the control he has over you, but no one knows. No one knows the feelings you carry within.

(Idkh these pov thingys work yet sorryy)

Eric: y/n!!!!!!. Eric yells as he jogs closer, and grabs y/n's shoulder y/n: yes Eric?* deep breath* Eric: did you do the homework for math class? * Breathe* y/n: Yeah I did.I actually finished it before class ended yesterday. Eric: you're gonna let me see it right??? *heart beating gets louder* Take a step back Y/n : nope. You should've done it. *starts walking down the hall* Thinking he's wandered off you let out a deep sigh... Knowing if you let him beg enough youd cave in and you knew better. He would never learn this way.and soon enough you could see yourself falling farther and farther into his grasp over time and he didnt even know it. You let out one more sigh before turning around to see Kevin , who cant help but look at you concerned. Kevin: whats wrong y/n?

.. You avoid eye contact. Kevin is one of those people. Someone who can tell when someones upset. He can read you well. So you knew you had to leave quickly. Y/n: I didnt get much sleep last night. So I'm feeling quite off today, its nothing serious. *nervous laughter*

He seems to kind of believe it since he just nods his head as if he can see it apparent on your face.. But something feels off, like he's pretending to believe you for your sake but you just excuse yourself and head towards the bathroom.Totally unaware he hasnt stopped looking your way since turning around as he nods to himself again as if comfirming somthing to himself before turing to head to his own class.

Y/n Pov

*splash*

*in a quiet voice* 'Whats wrong with me..'.. Its like the moment I look at him I cant help it. My heart begins to race, my stomach ends up feeling funny like there are millions of butterflies, and I get nervous and run away each time he gets closer... *Looks back at self in mirror* only if he knew...

(5 min later.)

*sigh* *walks towards math*

Other POV

You sit down before class begins , and there it is again , his laughter, but this time its different. You cant help but turn around to see whats caused the change in his voice, and its like your throat gets caught. Her. The girl he always is talking to you about.It seems like he was finally able to build the courage to talk to her. The one he wants to take to the movies to see his favorite movies with. The one he wants to show his safe places to . The one who keeps him up at night. The one he wants to wear matching clothes with. The one he wants to spend his holidays with. Her. Its her. Guess he didn't need the homework anymore afterall.

You quickly turn back around , trying to keep your emotions in. You feel yourself go colder with each sound. A tightening feeling in your chest builds everytime you hear them laughing . You sigh and breathe in slowly , praying the class ends quickly .

The moment class ended you jolt up quckly and grab your things and head towards your locker for the next class.

Y/n Pov

*sigh* *grabs snack for break*

Eric:y/n!!!

I dont respond.

Eric:y/n? Whats wrong .*looks concerned*

There he goes again.

Nothing Eric i say. He looks in disbelief. Knowing theres something off.

Eric: hmmm.You sure sure?. Hmm Well lets go with the rest of the guys. They are waiting for us for sure. *wraps arm around shoulder*

It was like a sudden new reflex. I didnt mean to. But jerking away from him seemed like the only thing that my body felt like I should do...

The look of surprise on his face made me feel embarrassed I reacted that way. And as soon as it looked like he was going to ask me what was wrong again I speed down the hall.

And there I meet the rest of the guys , thankfully.

New: thank goodness you're here. Look help me out. Changmin keeps saying this chucky doll here is cute... Come get him .

I cant help but laugh. I take a seat next to Sangyeons right side while Juyeon is on my left.

Juyeon looks towards me as i sit and smiles that crescent moon kind of smile. Of course i return it .

Y/n: I dont know about chucky being cute. But his bride is quite a beauty tho.

New:..... You... You two are something else with your horror movies... Like... You know what, forget it. *laughs in defeat.*

Y/n: *dramatic gasps* my oh my you say that like WE'RE the weird ones.🙄👀

Sunwoo and Q: periodt👀👏

Eric finally arrives.

Eric: Guys!! Guess what?

Sunwoo: you did your math homework for once?

Eric:.... Mm well Uh no, i didnt

Sangyeon: you didnt ask y/n for the answers this time?

Eric: no i did, but she said no. I got it from. H/n (her name)

Hyunjae: so thats what it is. You spoke to her?

*breathe*

Eric: yes and guys, like, I think I've maybe got a chance.

There he goes again... Her. Its all her. JUST her...

Jacob: so did you ask her out?

Eric: yeah I did. I invited her to our movie night tonight. I was gonna ask you guys if you guys were cool with it beforehand but I didnt think I would must the courage to.

Juyeon: anything for you to get the girl. We got you

New: IF he gets her. She just doesnt know the headache she's in for.

Sangyeon: Guess all that practice on y/n was worth it.

Practice...

Thats all I was....

He says it smiling towards me , not knowing the hurt his words have just caused subconsciously but I cant smile. Not even a forced one. I just pretend I didnt heard him.

Eric: yeah she told me she actually thought I was dating y/n but of course I could never. We're like siblings.

Ouch...

New: true...

Q: I dont even think eric is y/n's type anyways

I make eye contact with someone who seems to have been watching my every move.

Kevin...

He looks like he is observing everything... From my reactions to my responses.After another 3 seconds he looks away.Not saying a word either.

Everyones laughing. Everyones congratulating him.

Younghoon:y/n?

Everyone turns to face me.oh .

Y/n: hm?

I was too lost in thought. I spaced out.

Sangyeon: What time are you coming by?

Y/n: for what?

Sunwoo: for the movie. We gotta all be Eric's wingman here. He needs all the help we can offer.

Oh.. She will be there too? Can I handle it? Yes? No? No I cant handle it

Y/n: Uh i cant . I have something that just came up. I just remembered.

I lied. And sure enough. I was seen through.

Eric: like what?

Y/n: something

Q: really? What is it? Maybe we can help you out so you can come by and hang out.

Something is snapping within me. I need to leave.

Y/n: no thanks. You guys have fun.

I get up before they give me a response. I cant be around them . not until i get over these feelings. But its harder than i thought. But i dont want to take it out on them either so I should try.

Everytime We'd see each other after that. It was HER. It was either him with her or about her.

Everytime in class, itd be HER.

Every text , HER.

And the guys went along with it.

And everytime , itd hurt. A punch to the heart. And a bit tighter it would feel each time.

And the constant reminder that its just HER and will always be HER..

only if he knew.. I wish I was her.... its like the way he'd talk about her was like he was telling you the reason for his existence, the way his eyes shined when hed see her and then theyd soften when she'd smile at him,the smile he'd have when hed describe her or simply talk about her and trust me he was always proud to, or the way he tried to contain his happiness when she'd come around to speak to him just showed me all i needed to know.

He loved her. She made him happy . Thats all that mattered.

I felt one of those sad smiles form. Because though he was happy . I was not. I dont want to be reminded its not me constantly..so with thaat thought. I call it quits. Until I no longer feel this feeling. I'll distance myself so I can let go properly and move on with time.

I suddenly stopped responding to the gc messages. Slowly started to decline to hang out. But it seems it wasn't a big deal though. She was there eveytime instead.She became apart of everything they did. And with that I started to spend all my time in the library as a way to naturally distance myself. The guys were worried at first. But once i told them I needed perfect scores to get into my dream college, they decided me spending most of my time in the library for it was alright. It was for my other "dream college" so I should put it first they said. For my future they said.And then they also suddenly stopped asking me to hang out.It didnt take long.They also suddenly stopped directing messages towards me in the gc. Personal messages as well. Slowly one by one. We stopped having things to talk about ,like we've become strangers with time.. Now to just glances every now and then, that was all. Other than that, we became just like strangers. Strangers with memories....

Suddenly..

Kevin: y/n...

*Distant laughter*

I turn to look at Kevin.Sensing he had something to say but it wouldnt come out. He looks towards the table and I follow his gaze towards the table full of boys with her in it. I can only smile. I smile when they errupt with laughter at something new and sunwoo said. Happy they're happy. And with that I turn back to Kevin.

I can only smile at Kevin. No words. Just a smile.

The look on his face says he has something to say still present.

For the past 6 months. He would have that same look on his face when I'd walk past him. But hes never actually stopped me.

Kevin: y/n...

And just like that . Suddenly I'm wrapped in a warmth I didnt think I missed. And it's like it went quiet..and the sound of sniffling fills my ears , and his hold gets tighter. Oh Kevin..

THE END.

Authors note: Maybe I can male a Pt2? This one turned out bad tbh .

I did not edit this but i will later onnnn thank youuuuuu

#the boyz scenario #the boyz eric #the boyz #the boyz oneshots #the boyz angst #the boyz onesided love #the boyz kevin

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ao3gingerswag · 3 years

Text

Learning

Prompt Submission by modernurbanfantasy:

I would love some sort of future situation (if/when) Dean, Cas and Sam when they are back at the inn around how smart Sam is. Like we know how smart Sam is (and I think Dean probably does as well) and he wants to get Sam some education (in the church or in some local school) but that is obviously v difficult. So he is all sad thinking about what he would need to do to get Sam into a school and is trying to hide it from Case and then like idk Bobby or something is able to help get Sam some sort of deal with the local school bc they see how smart and talented he is. Idk just an idea.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE OUTSIDE

To: Pastor Murphy

My name is Sam and I am 10 years old. I saw your pamflet on the phisics of momentem posted on the church bulitin borde. I liked it a lot. I am writing to you becase I think you made a mistake tho. You cubed the largest side of the triangel when I think you meant to square it. If you square it it solves the problem you were talking about. I tride to go in to tell you but the man at the door said no I cant come in becase theres no church today and only the students can go in. And I dont go to the college. I tride to say I need to see you becase you made a mistake and tride to show him but he said i dont know what your talking about. So I am writing this note and leaving it here on the borde for you.

Thank you.

-Sam

Dear Sam,

In all the years I have posted my articles on the church bulletin, I have not once received a response from the local population. I have always continued to post them regardless, just in case anyone is reading them. I was so happy to discover that my efforts have not entirely been in vain.

I have received several letters from my colleagues since the publication of my paper pointing out my error, but none have been so polite as yours. Did you know, none of my own students caught the mistake you so kindly made me aware of? Authority is the bane of progress, I often think, as it seems since I took my position none but the few others in similar positions dare to question whatever I say.

Sam, I am delighted that Whitecreek is blessed with a child as inquisitive and bright as you. It is not often that I meet ten year olds who are interested in physics, much less those who can follow my published papers. If you like physics, I would be happy to meet with you and your parents this coming Sunday to discuss the subject and the possibility of furthering your education.

I am leaving this note with the guard you spoke to last week, and have asked him to give you this letter if he sees you again. If you have another letter for me, you can leave it with him and he will pass it along. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

Sorry I didnt come to the church Sunday I didnt get your letter until now. I dont live in whitecreek we only come once a month to get suplies. I live at the inn outside of whitecreek they call it the willow inn becase it is near a willow tree. Maybe you have heard of it maybe not if you dont travel.

I like everything not just phisics I like biolagy and astranomy and math and I like reading and I like learning and I like looking at bugs and plants and things in the woods. My dad didnt like it when i read tho becase he didnt know how and he said do you think your better than me. I said no but he still got mad at me. But I dont live with him anymore.

I really like learning a lot. I would like to meet you and talk about phisics and other things but I dont have parents I just have Dean and Cas. They run the inn and I help them. They said I can meet with you but Cas said to tell you that we have no money for school becase he said maybe you think I’m rich becase I can read and write but we are not rich. I learned to read by myself becase I like it. So I cant go to school and cant further my educatin like you said but I would still like to meet with you please if you want to.

Do you have any books I could look at? I like books but no one has any books. Cas has a book and he let me read it but I read it like a hundred times now and memerized it. If you have any books I could look at I would be very gratful and I would not mess them up I would be very careful. But if you dont have books or dont want me to look at them thats ok i understand i would still like to meet you please. I have a lot of questins. Like is the moon hot or cold. And lots of other things. I used to ask my dad but he yelled at me and sometimes he hit me i think especially when he didnt understand the questin.

It is better now becase Dean was always nice to me and listened to my questins and Cas I dont know him so well yet but he is nicer than dad and he hasnt gotten mad at me for asking questins yet. He says you are very smart Sam and it is good to ask questins which is nice. But even tho Dean and Cas let me ask questins alot they sometimes know the answer but usually they dont. They say you know more than me Sam. I think I do know more than them but only becase they dont know how to read I think everyone could learn everything if they just knew how to read. Thats how i learn things.

Please let me know if you still want to meet with me even tho I didnt see your letter in time. The guard said you are not here today becase you are at a lectchure about math in a diffrent city that is so exciting maybe you can tell me about it when you come back. I will be here again in four weeks I will come and maybe I can see you or maybe there will be another letter eether way thank you I am so happy.

-Sam

To: Sam, ten years old. Willow Inn, outside of Whitecreek.

Dear Sam,

I was truly overjoyed to receive your most recent correspondence. I had worried that I had scared you off or that your interest in science had faded. Clearly, these were merely the fears of an old man, who has become a bit too paranoid in his old age. I have in fact heard of the Willow Inn, and in fact I have stayed at it a few times when traveling that direction for a conference or a lecture. It has been a few years since I last had the pleasure of receiving their hospitality, but I had thought it was run by only a man and his son, who was about 13 at the time. Has the inn changed hands, since I was last there? Or has my faulty memory yet again betrayed my years?

In any case, I have sent a courier with this letter to the inn, in order to avoid missing you yet again when you again make your way into town. Sam, I am absolutely still interested in meeting you, regardless of your financial situation. Your literacy and thirst for knowledge is made all the more impressive by your lack of formal education. I will happily share all the resources I have with you, if you would like to learn. The college’s library has many books on all of the subjects you have expressed interest in. We have collections on physics, biology, astronomy, math, and several thousand others. All of these can be made available to you, and if you are as careful as you promise you will be, you can borrow almost any of them and take them home with you for the month. I would be happy to meet with you and discuss your readings when you make your regular trip to town, and could suggest which books you may want to start with, and which to continue with once you have studied those.

I am sorry that you have had difficulty in the past when you have tried to express your curiosity. Unfortunately there are many in the world who don’t care for knowledge, and resent those of us who seek it. I am glad to hear that you are now living with people who are more understanding of your interests, ignorant though they might be of them. I must say that I am struck by your optimism regarding the natural learning capabilities of the general population. I strongly agree with your statement, which I have quoted here because it means so much to me: “I think everyone could learn everything if they just knew how to read.” This is an opinion which I have always agreed with, and have been trying to convince many of my colleagues of for most of my long career. I am glad we are of the same mind in this area.

In answer to your question: Unfortunately, no one knows for sure if the moon is hot or cold. The prevailing theory currently is that it is cold. The reasoning here is that we are fairly certain it is made of stone, and stone is cold unless otherwise heated. In the absence of an internal heat source, we assume the moon is likely cold to the touch. However, we cannot know this for sure without knowing exactly what it is made of and how this material would be affected by the heat of our sun at its current level of exposure. Perhaps when you grow up, you will be able to figure this out for us.

I look forward to hearing your other questions when we meet, and I of course will be happy to share what I learned at my conference with you. If I am correctly understanding your schedule, I believe you will be in town again two Wednesdays from when this letter should reach you. I will be at the church from dawn to dusk on that day. The guard will know to let you and your family into the building, and we can discuss the possibility of further meetings then. Please give my best to your family, and I wish you the best until then.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

I asked the man to wait for a minit so I can write a letter back and he said he would but I cant take forever he said so I wont. I am so excited to meet you in two weeks I am going to write all of my questins down. I am so excited to see your books I am so excited to learn. Cas said we can all come meet you together and then they will go do shoping and I can stay if thats ok or Dean can stay with me if you want. That is so intresting about the moon i didnt think about that thank you for explaneing. I will be so careful with your books if you let me take them home and I will read anything you say I should I will be good and learn fast and you will be happy you let me learn I promise I will be good and you will not regrat it. Thank you I am so excited sorry this is mesy and there are stains I am crying a lot. I would wait to write later but the man wants me to hurry up. I used to dig in the trash to find anything with words on it to read and Dean would let the man at the church do bad things to him so he could bring me pamflets sometimes. I said dont do that but he did anyway and I was always so happy to get them even tho I said dont do that. Which I felt bad about but I still read the pamflets. Anyway if you let me take lots of books home I will learn everything and I will read to Dean and Cas so they can lean too and I will be very happy. I am so excited thank you I will see you in two weeks.

p.s. i forgot to say. Cas’s dad died and now he runs the inn with Dean who is my friend.

-Sam

To: Sam Winchester, ten years old, of brown hair and brown eyes. Willow Inn, outside of Whitecreek.

Dear Sam,

I have sent the courier along once again with this letter. The suggested coursework I promised you is enclosed. I also again wanted to express how wonderful it was to meet you and your family, and how excited I am to have such a bright young man under my tutelage. Your questions were delightful, and I can only hope that I have answered them to your satisfaction.

Please do reiterate to your friend Dean that it was lovely to meet him as well, and that he will always be welcome in my church regardless of the content of his past.

I look forward to seeing you all again in person next month, and wish you the best until that time comes.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Sam :)

#ao3gingerswag #asks #prompts #submissions #learning #wander home

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nomintokki · 4 years

Text

1𝓼𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓪𝓻𝔂

PAIRING: Lee Jeno x Na Jaemin

GENRE: Fluff, couple anniversary, university setting, nomin couple uwu.

WORD COUNT: 0.8k

SYNOPSIS: its Jeno and Jaemin’s first anniversary as a couple nut Jaemin hasn't heard from Jeno.

A/N: this is my first nomin/jaemjen oneshot AU pls bear with me hekhek

Jeno’s POV

Its the 11th day of June, exactly a year ago Jaemin asked me to become his boyfriend. Up till today, I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach whenever I remember that day.

Hmm… I wonder what surprise will Jaemin give me this time. Jaemin is such a sweet Boyfriend he never misses our monthsarys and always gives me surprises throughout the day. Like on our 5th monthsary he surprised me with breakfast he personally cooked by himself. Last month he surprised me with the new PS5 I kid you not I cried the moment I opened the gift. I would always thank my past self for whatever he did for me to have a Na Jaemin in my lifetime. I can already feel that this would be a great day like every other month.

I reached out my phone smiling, thinking all the possible surprises Jaemin would pull off. W-wait this is unusual and weird. Jaemin would always text me good morning and greet me first. Well maybe he slept in… yeah he definitely have slept in. I’ll text him good morning first instead

“Good Morning my nana 🥰”

For this time I composed a song for Jaemin I’ve been working on this song ever since we got together. I just knew we would last this long thats why I put an effort to make him a song He deserves it. I hope he likes it. I need to get up I still have 8am class I would see him in school anyway.

“Jenooooo” oh look at that it’s my friend Renjun. “Jeno today is your anniversary with Jaemin right??? What did he get you this time” Renjun asked ‘I’m not yet sure I haven’t heard from him today hehe’ “well thats weird usually jaemin Bombards you with good morning texts”

Speaking of he hasnt replied to me yet lol.

As me and Renjun near our lockers I was hoping there is something for me from Jaemin inside. Why am i shaking Jeno you’re just gotta open your locker… Welp there goes my hope. Nothing. I let out a heavy sigh and moved on with my day.

*bell rings*

That was the last bell for today finally It’s dismissal time. I checked my phone to see if there is any notification from Jaemin. Not a single one. I’ve sent him a snap, a tweet, even posted an appreciation post on IG, Nothing. Has he forgotten? No actually I’m more on worried sick this is very unlikely of him. I sent his best friend, Donghyuck, a message asking him if he has seen Jaemin. Oh donghyuck Just replied *yeah he went to our class earlier but he looks like hes on a rush* . So he was here, not sick, completely fine but didn’t send me one message??? Oh gosh Na Jaemin what is happening.

“Hey jeno” oh its renjun again

‘Yes?’

“Still no word from Jaemin”

I sighed and shook my head

“Come one lets go out I dont want you sulking in your dorm” and just like that Renjun was already dragging me to god knows where.

I just wanna go home I know Renjun is trying to cheer me up but this won’t work I want Jaemin right now. Its our f*cking 1st anniversary and he is Mr. MIA. “Jeno I’ll just go to the restroom, stay here.” Renjun told me and I just nodded as a response I don’t have the energy to talk anymore. I don’t even know where am I so I started to look around and- out of all places Huang Renjun really why in this froyo place where Jaemin asked me to be his boyfriend. It’s weird tho only the staffs are here. Do they have an event? the place is fully decorated. I should go out and just wait for Renjun outside. W-wait is that Day 1 by Honne playing Oh gosh can this day get any worse this is the song I sang for Jaemin on our first monthsary. ughh I can feel my tears swelling up I’m out of here

“Jeno-ya My nono”

Is that Jaemin? I turned around and saw Jaemin in the outfit he was wearing on our first date. He look handsome as ever. Am I hallucinating?

“*chuckles* No Jeno you’re not hallucinating” Jaemin walks closer to me as he talks

sht did I say that out loud

“Happy First anniversary Nono, I’m So sorry if I made you worry something came up with my reservation in this froyo place so I was all panicked and-”

‘Shh Jaemin let us not ruin the moment whatever the reason why You ignored me its okay, just explain later okay’

“Okay” and we swayed to the music him holding my waist, our foreheads together.

“Jeno”

‘Hmm’

“Lee Jeno”

‘Hmm’

“My nono”

‘*chuckles* yes my nana’

“ you know I love you right, I love you my Nono”

‘I love you too nana’

#nomin #jaemjen #jeno au #lee jeno #na jaemin #jaemin au #oneshot au #nct #nct dream #jaemin #jeno #kpop fluff #nct-writers

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avpdpunpun · 5 years

Text

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm.

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores.

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

#text #update #mostly tagging this for myself to read later if i ever start blogging frequently again

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rint4rous · 5 years

Text

meeting the parents: karmelle

(this is so long hhhh)

karma met the (step)mom first

he already sorta met her in the summer trip since she was one of the assassins in the hotel

but they properly met when he comes over anielle’s house after school

as anielle unlocks the door karmas ready for her little siblings running up to her and welcoming her home and saying hi to him

but to his surprise its a woman with her arms crossed thats there when they walk in

wowie ! its arime kiriya !

anielle seems unbothered and ignores that her mom looks mad as shes taking off her shoes

“didnt know youd be home today”

“daichi says you skipped training for a week again.”

“daichi says a lot of things especially about me, probably to stray you from the fact hes failing one of his classes”

theres a screech from the kitchen

“?!!???!! SHES LYING DONT LISTEN TO HER”

arime just sighs, shaking her head

meanwhile karmas standing there like …?? um ok

as hes taking his shoes off, arime notices him

“oh, the boyfriend.”

ani: um??? no??? hes not??? my boyfriend???

“this is karma,,,”

“is he staying for dinner??”

karmas kinda panicking and his Respecful Mode is ON

hes not really intimidated, she just seems like a ‘normal’ mom to him but at the same time ..

this .. arime kiriya might be a pro assassin but before that she’s still anielle’s mom

he doesn’t really care about first impressions

so he has no idea why hes worrying now

“i usually do, unless you don’t want me to??”

“oh no no i would have insisted you stay if you said no”

anielle grabs karmas wrist

“call us down when foods ready”

shes dragging him up the stairs

she lets go of his wrist when they got in her room and shes like

“yeah um,, thats my mom,, i didnt know she would be home”

“shes different from what i expected?? from the trip she seemed more intimidating”

“oh shes actually pretty nice ?? we get in playful arguments sometimes but yeah even though shes not always at home she tries her best”

dinner time !

anielle said they werent together but arime could tell that even tho they werent tgt yet there was something there

arime asks karma a few questions as they’re eating and when karma answers, his tone’s polite and tame

anielle notices this

she finds it a little amusing, but honestly cute more than anything

when karma goes home arime says

“he seems like a good kid. you like him?”

ani, blushing: ?!??!!?! n-no

arime: ok sure

after that karma sees arime whenever shes home

he usually comes over anielles house so

but on the times that ani doesnt come home with karma, arime invites him for dinner

he says yes every time

arime always refers to him as the boyfriend though

not your boyfriend, but THE boyfriend

“you gonna invite the boyfriend over?” “how’s the boyfriend?” “ask the boyfriend if he wants to eat dinner with us”

anielles like please stop calling him that (1) he isnt my bf and (2) even if he was it sounds so weird and lame

(when karmelle start officially dating though she refers to him as karma)

karma eventually gets comfortable that he drops the Timid Tone and starts talking like himself

arimes not shocked at the change

HHH she looked thru the poor kid’s records and looked him up after they met because she has to know abt him if hes gonna end up with her daughter so she knew abt his personality and was waiting for it to show

arime’s honestly amused by him but she likes him and still thinks hes a good kid

he gets invited to their training sometimes

and sometimes gets to spar with arime he almost beat her once

as for ani’s (birth) mom, karma goes with anielle to the cemetery whenever she asks for mental support because sometimes it gets a little too much for her

the first time he went was after the incident with shiro

anielle wasnt planning on bringing him, but he insisted

he couldnt leave her alone, not after the emotional torture shiro put her through

when she broke down in his arms, he knew coming with her was the best decision, even if she didnt like the idea at first

the dad .. he met him three months after arime

karma knew that he was in the ministry of defense and is friends with karasuma, but was dealing with things overseas

thats all he really knew, he was expecting someone like karasuma

karma and ani were just playing a game tgt

then they hear the doorknob rattling ?!??!?!

out of instinct, anielle grabs the gun she keeps under the sofa hjgfhjksd

shes walking slowly towards the door gun in hand

the door opens

“i swear to god yuto i told you to stop doing that.. stop trying to scare the kids and open the door anielles gonna accidentally shoot you one of these days” arime scolds him as they walk in

yuto just laughs

anielle drops the gun and runs to hug her dad,, she hasnt seen him in months

“see! she had a damn gun ready!” arime sighs, pulling their luggage in

she sees karma “oh hi karma!! how you been?”

“good,,”

“so you’re karma? are you gonna join us for lunch?”

karmas like this is like meeting arime all over again

man he never thought his Respectful and Polite Mode would make a comeback but here he is

HHH karma: no fear

yuto: hi

karma: one fear

“yes sir”

anielles trying so hard not to laugh,, she cant believe karma just called her dad SIR HRKHHKJJKH

she and arime are silently snickering together while karma sits there as yuto studies him

“i’ll go start making the food,,” arime heads to the kitchen

“elly, go help your mom”

karma and anielle knew it was to get karma alone with him,, ani doesnt argue and goes to the kitchen

“arime and karasuma told me a lot about you.”

“oh”

yuto asks karma questions, but they arent Extra ykno

hes not Overly Protective, but hes more protective of ani because out of the two oldest, he knows anielle was affected by their mothers death most and took longest to get over it

he just wants to get to know karma

after arime karma was expecting the dad to be like her except more strict and intimidating but

for arime, it took two months for him to drop the timid tone

for yuto, it took an hour

hes still answering politely, but now hes including some snarky remarks as a joke and is talking in his usual tone

arime calls them for lunch

they all talk while eating and karma could tell the dad likes him too

hes just happy he got both of anis parents to like him

anielle met karmas parents like two weeks after graduation,, meaning karmelle are tgt now

she decided to tag along when karma went to the airport when they were coming back from a trip

he said they were coming back for a bit to spend time with him and to congratulate him for graduating

anielle didnt really know what to expect

shes looking at her phone when she hears a “karma!!!!”

she looks up and sees a woman waving at karma and a man beside her

as they’re approaching, his mom notices anielle beside him

“oh you came with... your girlfriend?”

“hi, i’m anielle!” ani greets. “i hope i’m not being a bother by being here?”

“not at all! i didn’t know our karma had a girlfriend?? since when??”

“we haven’t been together for long, but we met during our second year,,”

his mom turns to karma, “you dont tell your folks anything nowadays”

karma just shrugs

anielle shares brief greetings and conversations with his dad, the mom talks more

they dropped off their things and anielle stays for an hour and leaves so they can settle in

she gets invited to eat out with them the next day

(bruh all of these involve eatinf i am so original)

she gets to really talk with his parents

karmas mom jokes around like “our problem child managed to get himself a girl!!! he’s a real handful, isn’t he?”

anielle laughs it off, “hes tiring to deal with sometimes, but i manage. you learn to have patience with him”

karma: Bruh

ani came over sometimes, and she got to know the parents better (and vice versa, they just dont know shes a hitman)

they really like her, she keeps karma in check and they think she brings out the best in him,, shes reckless and chaotic just like karma but if she needs to, shes able to stop karma from doing stupid things and he actually listens so

his parents arent the kind that are like “wanna see karmas baby pics” to embarass him hes thankful

after a month they leave again

ani got their numbers, and the mom texts her from time to time to check up on karma (and her !!)

(karma doesnt know this)

#karmelle #j writes karmelle

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trickstarbrave · 5 years

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today in reasons i feel shitty: my friend blew up on me on twitter bc i kept ASKING him if he wanted to play dnd with us bc hes a part of our group. i asked him if he could LAST WEDNESDAY and he has been giving me the run around since then. saying “i dont know yet” and “ill tell you when i do”. i tell him to let us know sunday at least, because the only days off he has are monday and tuesday. he says okay

sunday evening comes and he hasnt said shit so i ask him. hes drunk and i tell him we’ll talk tomorrow. monday i ask him if he can play tomorrow and he says hes “not sure and will need to ask if theyre playing mtg” so i say “okay”. he doesnt reply back all day. TODAY i ask him if he wants to play today or not and he says “i have to pick up a court summons” (not, “actually sorry i am playing mtg today”, not “i dont feel like playing, im sorry”). i sound suspicious but say “okay” and remind him we havent played in over a week AS IS. and he then GOES OFF ON ME for “guilt tripping him” and “making it an ~obligation~ he plays” and how i “stress him out by asking over and over again”. when i tell him he should have told me straight out he didnt want to play instead of just giving vague “maybe i dont know” answers he gets defensive even more and says “I DID” and when i say “no, you didnt, the only thing vaguely like that is you saying “im gonna be tired” on a question about your days off. thats not a yes or no answer and lots of us play while tired so why would i assume it was something else”

“WELL ITS NOT MY FAULT YOURE A BUNCH OF SADISTS WHO HAD TO TURN A FUN CASUAL GAME INTO A OBLIGATION WHERE YOU ALL ARE FORCED TO PLAY SICK OR TIRED! i cant even SAY i dont want to play because you all guilt trip me and get mad when i do.”

see, he doesnt say “sorry guys my next days off will be full and im not up to it.” and apologize for keeping us waiting or giving us the go ahead to play without him (WEVE HAD THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE and PURPOSEFULLY made the game so if he doesnt want to play he can leave whenever so long as its not in the middle of a fucking mission. okay. its not like we just sit there doing nothing but complain if he cant play). he waits until the DAY OF OUR GAME to tell is he purposefully made plans on game night, no he cant change them, no he was absolutely always forced to do them right now during game time, and then get pissy when we all complain because we dont even have time to plan around him and have cleared out our evening for nothing and our time is wasted.

he then keeps going on and on because apparently i was just supposed to know the words “im tired” and his vague answers like hes genuinely unsure about the state of tomorrow were him “actually” telling me he doesnt even want to play and i should have fucking caught on, he wanted to quit this game MONTHS ago. i was just supposed to know him being ‘busy’ was a ‘secret message’ that actually meant ‘just stop even asking me when i want to play a game and hang out with my friends! just stop inviting me in general! i dont like you or the game! its not fun and stresses me out and im LYING to you.” and we just all fucking ignore him and play without him and let him figure out we havent even been giving him the opportunity to join to play

which is so fucking. terrible. who would just assume “thats what you mean”???? like imagine if you WERENT doing this and actually were really busy and your friends just eventually stopped even inviting you to game night, only for you to check the group chat months later and find out they have been playing without you and having fun and didnt even bother inviting you to anything at all. you just find this out. and by the time you figure it out they might have done a lot stuff or played games YOU wanted to play and they arent going to go back and replay the stuff you missed bc they just assumed you were lying to their faces and it wouldnt matter anyways if you were there or not. how hurtful would that be? imagine if some of your friends did that to you, would you be HAPPY they did it???

keep in mind HE is the one who picked out the VERY NEXT MISSION WE”RE ABOUT TO DO so fucking sorry if we assumed “HEY HE PROBABLY WANTS TO PLAY IT. YKNOW THE MISSION HE FUCKING PICKED OUT. THE MISSION INVOLVING STUFF SPECIFICALLY FOR HIS CHARACTER” oh my fucking god.

now i dont know the state of our group bc he yelled at me more and said he quit and deleted all his tweets and our dm is miserable and put the game on hiatus for 2 fucking weeks. i feel miserable too bc my friend has been lying to me and called me a guilt tripper and manipulative for reminding him hes stringing along 5 other people by not being fucking honest with us and said its OUR PROBLEM he cant be honest even though we structured the game so he can take MONTH long breaks if he needs to just give us the heads up. i told him he could quit once we got more than 3 players bc do you know how annoying it is to do a full campaign w only 2 characters playing???? bc one of the three dropped out??? i told him to just fucking play until then and he could quit for real and he went “but i DO wanna play : ( im just stressed!”

well now ill just fucking believe every time he complains abt smth like “man i have to spend money on this thing” that means we’re just not hanging out like we planned. im not gonna ask him if hes actually going to the ren fest even tho the bed situation was taken care of bc i just assume now that he only brought up the bed to tell me hes not fucking going and to fuck off. im not making a costume for it either if my best friend doesnt go im just gonna stay home.

i cant read the fucking air and he knows this. hes known me forever. he knows im ignorant and dont ‘get’ stuff like “if someone keeps canceling plans that means they want you to leave them the fuck alone and stop even inviting them or talking to them”. he knows im probably autistic and struggle with ‘unsaid” social cues like that and he just STILL does this and calls ME terrible for not ‘getting it’ and ‘forcing him’ to yell at me. im rtired.

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flyingcookierambles · 6 years

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i made a fool of myself on snapchat over a movie lol

so basically my mom ordered the movie a wrinkle in time from the library. by which i mean, she wanted to see the new one because it has oprah in it and she loves oprah. now, what we didn’t realize is that there are TWO wrinkle in time movies.

also for context, i have ad block on youtube. i use my aunt’s netflix. i dont really watch live tv anymore. so, because of these factors, I HAD NEVER SEEN A COMMERCIAL FOR THE NEW WRINKLE IN TIME MOVIE. I DIDNT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT OR WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE. (i think i actually did see some tumblr post about the new one and black panther tho and how the two movies had african american directors but ill get to that later.)

so we go to the local library and order the wrinkle in time movie because we assume that since its been out for like a month or two that it would be out on dvd n blu ray already and we’d just save money this way. so, the librarian orders it for us and we go back like a week later to pick up the movie. now, this box looked pretty sucky. once we put it in the tv the screen said that this was a special version meant for educational classroom showing. now the movie was this thing.

according to wikipedia and movie imdb, this is a not-very-good made for tv movie from 2003.

at this point, the only thing my mom told me about the movie was that oprah was in it and that it might be about time travel. so on snapchat, me being the idiot i was, took some pictures of my tv during the movie playing and i wrote stuff like “wow i really like the 90′s aesthetic” and “huh even the noise and lighting and stuff really does look like it came from the 90′s.” even when the kids travelled to another world the first time, i thought that incredibly bad CGI was like intentional. yes, i even thought that this very very scary horse with a human face was intentional.

now the reason that i thought this crappiness was intentional because of the recent boom in nostalgic stuff. by which i mean, shows like stranger things, mindhunter, the americans (that one set in the cold war 1950′s), the continuation of twin peaks, GLOW, etc. basically, since i was at this point still an idiot, i assumed that they would travel to the “future” (today) like tomorrowland and then the image quality and cgi graphics would improve to be more “modern.” you know, like how in the wizard of oz, once dorothy got to oz the image became color? that’s basically kind of what i thought would happen to represent that traveling happened.

when it turned out that they DON’T time travel, but travel to different worlds and stuff like some yggdrasil tree walker, I WAS SO CONFUSED.

at this point too, i remembered the tumblr post about how the wrinkle in time (2018) and black panther were both by african american directors and how the movies were good because they could pave a way for more diversity in hollywood directors (which honestly that’d be great bc im so tired of like whitewashin and yellowface and getting crap like ghost in the shell and the netflix death note but i feel like i could just complain about that on some other post). so i then was just like, huh, uhh, most of the characters in this are white people, i thought a movie by a wpoc would have more diversity in it. the main characters are a white family and stuff so i was just more confused.

also, at this point my mom complained that she hasnt seen oprah yet and she said, “i think the librarian gave us the wrong movie.”

but we continued watching b/c we hate ourselves and wanted to torture our minds with IS THIS THE RIGHT MOVIE OR NOT???

anyways by the end of the movie i googled a wrinkle in time and learned that there was a 2003 version. and at this point i also made some posts about it and now im sure that my friends that saw them at this point just think that im an idiot for not realizing that the crappy cgi was not intentional and that this movie looks nothing like, well, whatever the new 2018 version is.

ANYWAYS IM LIKE SUPER EMBARRASSED ABOUT NOT REALIZING THAT WE GOT THE WRONG VERSION AND NOW MY FRIENDS PROBS THINK IM LIKE RLLY DUMB AND I JUST WANNA CRAWL IN A HOLE AND DIE QUIETLY LOLLL

#gummytruck rambles #snapchat #a wrinkle in time #a movie #ugh #im an idiot

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wannasoftimagine · 7 years

Text

imagine park woojin as your classmate

project partners to dating partners :’)

(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))

okay so ure a fan of wanna one

who isnt tbh

and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)

u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u

anyways

its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online

like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea

and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance

as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous

also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him

little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute

;))

okay but anyways

u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn

u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times

(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)

but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned

bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned

of course, it’s a partner project

it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random

unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners

so u have no idea who ure paired up with

ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember

everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh

and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad

u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library

even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on

so. all excuses aside u fall asleep

prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk

but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep

ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side

u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird

u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy

so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat

as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before

in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”

u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol

somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice

then ure like WAIT A SECOND

ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real

so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him

eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free

u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS

ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment

anyways

ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up

only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing

u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back

u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u

its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate

and u KNOW its not a date

u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???

but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework

u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out

anyways skip to the next afternoon

u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks

and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest

hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally

as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date

u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud

he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas

he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen

its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck

anyways

neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart

ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field

it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again

ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy

u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions

u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business

still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project

of course, all things must come to an end

so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives

and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again

bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore

after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class

so as ure freaking out over this

he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it

and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?

obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling

when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in

u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two

woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye

u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh

u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out

but anyways

u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done

a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila

its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim

u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed

but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too

so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards

it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day

it still feels like a dream tbh

but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can

most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person

this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life

but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself

as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed

it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call

but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED

and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something

eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good

and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about

he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it

but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”

even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting

u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses

finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???

and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”

and. WHAT.

he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly

“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”

and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???

n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious

but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”

n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy

honestly u both just make each other super happy

when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other

both physically and with ur words

he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same

esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys

u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most

honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch

still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world

#requested #wanna one #woojin #wanna one imagine #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #wanna one scenario #park woojin #park woojin scenarios #park woojin imagine #woojin scenarios #woojin imagine #woojin imagines #fluff

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stuclyblrs · 6 years

Text

alright here’s my semester reflection that i’ve been putting off for too long but i dont have all my grades back yet so w/e

let’s start w/ my general opinion abt nyu n college life

it’s better than high school lmaooo

nyu was my dream school and tbh idk if it met my expectations ??? idk it was the best of the best for me so i think i could be having the same experience at another (cheaper) school idk ???

but in general i rly do love it !! i think my hesitation comes from the fact that everything isn’t perfect lol and i had a rly rough start

i like being on my own tho and i eat better when im at school whoops

however even tho i obviously have more free time when compared to high school i still felt very pressed for time and that’s something i rly need to work on for next semester

social life !

this is where i say i had a rough start

my roommates were shit and i did change rooms a month into school lololol

my new roommate is rly nice but we never speak to each other which is kind of a disappointment that’s kind of on me for never making an effort to like try and get lunch with her or smth but at the same time she doesnt make on either so idk man

but we dont have any problems w/ each other, we both respect each other, aren’t messy, all that good stuff

but she never cleans the bathroom so rip it never gets cleaned cause i dont wanna do it if she wont do it

also had a rough start friend wise......

for the final month i did feel like i was starting have good friends but now that were on break its kind of like ????? lmao im just worried i’ll be at square one again with the new semester since they are all ppl i met in my classes

in terms of activities i love everything i’m doing ! i’m in student council, model un, alternative breaks (its where u do service trips over breaks - my trip will be over spring break), and the kpop dance club but im terrible lmao

classes

lmao rip me i Did Not do as well academically as i wanted to like at all

im also still very ????????? about what i want to pursue as a major and this semester did not offer any clarity lol

okay so here’s the shit i wrote about my classes about the beginning of the semester

uhh so i was right fuck this class lmao. my professor was generally chill but also annoying. i went to the writing center once and hated it so i never went back whoops but the biggest shock of all was i finished this class with an A- lmaooo cause my prof had some weird grading system but it worked in our favor and i got an A on the final paper despite my other two being a B- and a B+

was 100% right about this class !!!!!!!!! my fave professor and my fave class i miss it soooo much. it was very relaxed and we pretty much just talked about our lives and vines lol p much all of my friends are from this class and i lov them all. i would take this class again if i could 1000000/10 best part of my semester (((if anyone is interested in the books we read they’re all on my books page)))

ahhh chinese......... how wrong was i about you :) yeah i kind of hate studying chinese now and im gonna take korean next year :) i’ve kind of been keeping that a secret on here since i made that decision awhile ago.... idk it just became Not Fun for me and i dont want to learn a language if its not fun and just seems like a chore. idk but my love and interest in the language just completely died half way through the semester whoops. i do want to continue to learn it one day, just not now. and im also not proud of my performance this class and its just gonna be an ugly failure to me lol. im super excited to formally learn korean next semester tho !!!

did well on my first midterm. did poor on my second midterm. idk my final grade yet cause he hasnt put it in which kind of concerns me cause he’s a very punctual professor but it’s been two weeks since we took our final and in general last day of exams was friday so like ??? so again another class where im not happy with my performance.... think i could’ve done better if we had regular exams rather than three total but lol w/e..... i took this as it’s a prereq for a major i was considering but now idk if i am even considering it which is a mess cause that just means its a not so great grade for something i kind of didnt even need to take sigh. also the class had about 450 ppl and generally only 350 of us showed up to lecture everyday lolz

so yeah that’s that ! now that im writing this overall this semester seemed like more of a dissapointment than a success (for reasons that i didnt necessarily talk abt in this post)........ idk im still optimistic abt next semester i think i just wanna start it on a better smth idk the right word haha but i also dont want freshman yr to end cause idk then im actually a legit college student which is just What

#uhhh u dont have to read cause its me rambling but lms if u do ?????#BUT there is smth lowkey major in here that i havent said on this blog yet and.....#it will get a seperate post at some point so if u dont read this then nbd #*separate lol #personal #college adventures

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aicchi · 7 years

Note

what are your favourite kiribaku au's? ;o

Oh boy this is my favorite ask because I have a loooooot of KiriBaku AUs, and I have a lot of favorites too (my own AUs as well as the AUs from my friends).

So… I guess I’m gonna tell you about my AUs, and well they’re sort of long… so I’m putting them under the cut hahaha

AU number one

Dragon / Dragon rider AU

it all happened in a magical land obviously hahahaha but dragons are very rare and dragon riders even more so since the dragons choose them…

and well there are like only three riders known in the entire history of the kingdom and all of them were knights and became riders only after seeing/meeting some random dragon and being chosen for reasons

but then bakugou was born and like he’s already been chosen.. he’s already a rider (but ofc no one would know not even bakugou himself) before he even met a dragon.. and like because of it he’s always spacing out, hearing a voice, feeling like he needs to go somewhere.. and since he’s always out of it he’s super prone to danger and everyone thinks someone evil is trying to lure him away.. plus it was the main reason why he was so angry all the time..

“Why the fuck are you looking at me like that ? I just said there was a voice, didn’t I ?”

“But Bakugou, there’s no voice-”

“I’m not fucking crazy, okay!”

but really its just his dragon trying to call out to him

and like in their kingdom they have magic schools too and well bakugou is like in the top of every class…the written ones at least.. the actual magic class… the reason? He has zero magical abilities.. nothing, nada, nope, none…

the thing is he can’t use any magic because he’s a rider even tho he hasnt met his dragon yet and because he’s a bron rider having magical abilities can mess up the dragon bond..

and like bakugou on top of the class, always wants to be the best, always angry when he’s not spacing out (everyone thanks the gods that bakgou is like spacing out 85% of the day) BUT doesnt seem to be bothered by the fact that he cant summon.. like everyone was expecting him to be super frustrated about it but he’s really not and he’s just like

“It’s just fucking magic. It’s not a big fucking deal.”

and no one really understands why because they live in magical land and he can’t even use any magic, so why is he calm?

(bakugou doesnt understand it too but deep inside its like he already knows he’s not made to be able to use magic)

but he’s still in the class because they thought he might just be a late bloomer.. it happens..

but their class had actual battles and the school system is shit so bakugou has to fight even if he can’t use magic.. so yeah he’s strong; breezed past other weaker magic users with just his sheer force and will..

but then this one summoner is too stupid and summoned a fucking high rank beast he cant control and its the first time bakugou actually got scared because shit his he can’t use magic and the beast had gone postal on everyone (not to mention the summoner had been knocked out)

and bakugou is just thinking “where are you? I’m scared. Help me.” and like he doesnt even know who he’s calling

and then bam kirishima THE GODDAMN KING OF THE DRAGON RACE just glides down and tears the beast who dared to harm his rider and bakugou just knows this dragon is his

(and it’s so much cooler because this guy with zero magical ability is the chosen rider of the DRAGON KING)

also bakugou’s the only one who can understand kirishima like he’ all growls and groans and whines and yips but bakugou understands him just fine

(ofc kiri has his very hot, very manly, and most of the time very nude human form buuuuuut that’s a story for another time)

—–

AU number two

The AU where Bakugou is quirkless and a nurse, and Kirishima is the hero who always needs to be patched up

So Kirishima is the hero who’s very reckless, despite his quirk, he still gets injured.

A Lot.

But one time he got minor injuries and well Recovery Girl is attending to someone with more pressing injury, so Kirishima got sent to one of the nurseand lo and behold its this blond angry looking guy who’s hands seem to move super gently?

His movements are super gentle despite the mighty scowl on his face.But Kirishima is a big baby.

He’s doesn’t like the sting of wound disinfectants and he just automatically uses his quirk

Bakugou: Stop being a fucking baby and let me put this shit on your wound before it gets fucking infected.

Kiri: But that’s gonna sting.

Baku: It’s supposed to sting. That means its working

But Kirishima doesn’t deactivate his quirk, and Bakugou just points to one corner

“oh whats that?"

Kiri got curious, deactivates his quirk and suddenly he’s howling from the sting and he whips at this nurse looking so smug

Kiri: you did that on purpose

Baku: of fucking course i did, you baby.

And Kiri promptly decides he likes this nurse so every time he gets injured he seeks this blond nurse out (he doesn’t know Baku’s name yet)and this went on for like 3 months until Kirishima finally asks what Baku’s name is

Kiri: i always give you trouble but i don’t even know your name.

Bakugou: its no trouble. I’m a nurse. this is my job. but if you want to know, my name is Bakugou

Kiri is just happy he got to know Bakugou’s name so when he comes in injured he just always ask for Bakugou like, "hey where’s Bakugou? i have this giant cut in my arm"

and Baku is like, "what injury did shitty hair have this time” when he gets called to patch a hero upkiri even wants to have baku patch him up when he gets a really deep wound

“you cant patch me up?”

“no shitty hair this needs stitches, meaning you fucking need an actual doctor"

"you’d go with me at least, right?"

"fucking fine, you baby”

—-

AU number three

That AU where Kirishima is a major villain doing minor crimes so he would get noticed by Bakugou

This is my most fave AU.

I mean, please just imagine this

Kiri: Hey, Blasty I stole 10 diamond rings. Do you want to get married?

Baku: Return them from where you stole them.

Kiri: You didnt say no

or this:

Todo: Hey Bakugou -

Baku: What did shitty hair do this time?

Todo: He stole the mayor’s statue and city welcome sign. He said he’ll drop them off im the sea if you dont show up.

baku: tell him i’ll be there to kick his ass

and also

(there’s a big RED Lettering on this newly painted walls saying, “I LOVE YOU, BLASTY!)

baku: did you do this?

kiri: Yup!

baku: Why the fuck?

kiri: because i tried to write i love you on a paper but its too small so i vandalized a wall and wrote it there instead so you can see. Did you like it? I practiced lettering to make it pretty!

baku: *groans*

this too

Baku: Did you just steal a toy from a five year old?

Kiri: Im a villain Blasty, what do you expect?

Baku: return them.

Kiri: I will if you kiss me. Do you want to kiss me.

Baku: return them

Kiri: You still didnt say no!

and also

kiri helping baku catch some of the other villains

baku: why are you helping me? isnt he one of you?

kiri: have you seen his face, blasty? its so annoying. it pisses me off.

and also this

baku complaining about being too tired to always run to where kiri shows up

kiri: !!!

the next day there are five cars parked in front of the hero building and a note from kiri

"i didnt know which car you liked so i stole five of them. Xoxo, Red Riot"

last but not the least

baku: return the painting.

kiri: maybe if you kiss me, i will

(and bakugou just walks over to him and kisses him!)

baku: now the painting?

kiri: *hands over the painting while screaming inwardly*

and thenvillain boss: where’s the painting?

kiri: HE KISSED ME *SCREAMS*

*cue all villains face palming*

#kiribaku #kiribaku au #bnha au #heroaca #hero academia #ahhhhhh i love talking about my AUs ahhahahah #also my friends also have great AUs #my fave is the search and rescue AU!!#Anonymous #you ask aisu delivers

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animal246 · 7 years

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for a year and half i was happy with him he was my best friend. i relied on him he saved my life more then once. but he broke me down. he was depressed all the time he talked about suicide constantly he called me nearly every night for months he kept me up during times i was barely sleeping. i finally told him i wouldnt answer his calls at night that if it was that bad he should call a suicide hotline or call 911. i couldnt handle it anymore so i ended things. at one point in our relationship he said he would kill himself if we broke up. i didnt think much of it. i still dont considering hes still alive and dating my ex friend. i grew so weary my mental health wasnt good and his poor mental health made it worse. i couldnt keep going with him. i broke up with him a week or so after we hung out last. i was ok for a long time after we broke up i felt relieved. but now i miss him like crazy part of me believed we would eventually get past that and get back together in the future. but then i found out he was dating her and that little hope was crushed. now im feeling more alone then ever. i dont have anyone to lean on i dont have any romantic prospects and i have very few friends. if i attempted again no one would stop me. things r going better im working, going to school, have fin, and the pain is better. yet i still feel depressed. im especially depressed about my weight. i have gained like 50 pounds in the last year due to testosterone. i knew it would happen but i didnt realize it would be so much ya know? so im back to starving myself. i only eat a max of 2 meals a day. dinner and sometimes lunch or breakfast. otherwise i eat nothing. which is fine becuz im considered obese and i need to lose weight. my doctors have been encouraging me to lose weight for the past few months. and so far i have lost 4 pounds and that took a month. tho it could have been sooner cuz i didnt get weighed sooner. but im hoping by november i have lost 10 pounds at least. thats when i have my gender doctor appointment. shes the one whos been encouraging me to lose the weight most. i want to be skinnier no i need to be. the less i eat the better. i been considering purging. but i dont like puking. and my mom would probably hear me. shes almost always home when im home. and my brother is ALWAYS home he only leaves the house twice a week for therapy. thats it nothing else. he doesnt even walk to the mailbox with us. i ask rarely and he ALWAYS says no. so i stopped asking. its usually just me and mom or just me. my mom hasnt noticed how little i have been eating. i find that ironic becuz my brother is a "recovering" anorexic. you would think she would see the signs in me but she doesnt. she doesnt seem to notice anything im doing. ever since my brothers suicide attempt im not noticed at all. hell i could be slicing myself and she probably wouldnt notice the cuts. hell i cut on my wrists for about 2 years and she didnt see them. my dad saw them before she did. i told him flo got me and he didnt even question it. mom didnt find out til the school called her and told her. and that was during my junior or senior year! i had already been hospitalized at least once. mom doesnt notice me no one does

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momtaku · 7 years

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SnK Chapter 92 Poll Results

The chapter 92 poll closed with 500 reported entries.

RATE THE CHAPTER (486 responses)

This chapter had a better reception than the last one. Seeing Reiner and Zeke was cited as a factor by many. Also the action was hard to resist.

that was an interesting way to set up a new story arc. i don’t really know whether i liked it or not, and i’m really eager to see what’s going on with our main crew. i’m gonna reserve most of my judgement until there’s a bigger picture though, so i can fully see what’s going on and why Isayama decided to start like this.

I have no idea what’s going on anymore.

Switching perspectives and presenting intel for readers from new, fresh and different povs is an ability Isayama has like no other, tho can be criticized for its abruptness and the kinda unexplained way it came crashing to the story..but nevertheless I enjoyed it and I think Isayama aced it.

It’s odd, I can see the effort made for us to connect with these new characters. But that just isn’t working for me sadly. While this and the previous chapters have been useful, I would have preferred more SC content. In particular reactions to the recent losses

I have no idea if it was intentional or not but Zeke’s dramatic “War is bad” line right as he chucked a fistful of rocks at the boats was hilarious. Like stahp Isayama I can’t handle all this Edge.

Zeke did the superhero landing, now I can die in peace

I’m grateful as we’ve finally seen Zeke’s method of turning humans into titans and I believe it has nothing to do with his titan form since he’s able to use it without shifting

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REINER’S NEW LOOK? (482 responses)

Unsurprisingly, 86% of the fandom found something here to agree on. Reiner scored extremely well on the scale from “No Thanks” to “Hello Daddy”!

Reiner is getting hotter with each passing chapter. I fear we may rapidly be approaching a state of ultimate hotness that may be too much for us mere mortals to handle.

I am sad that “Hot Dayum Daddy-o” Is not an acceptable answer for Reiner’s hotness rating.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ZEKE’S SHORT HAIR? (483 responses)

While the results were still favorable, Zeke’s long luscious locks were missed by a significant portion of the fandom. The scale from “No Thanks” to “Hella Hot” had the largest percentage of respondents sat right in the middle.

THE DRUGGED ELDIANS BEING USED AS WEAPONS WAS THE MOST TRAGIC MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER. WHAT WAS THE #2? (483 responses)

I was very curious what this result would be. I watch the poll numbers shift back and forth between sympathy for Reiner and the big picture view of Eldians as whole. In the end “The world’s view of Eldians” narrowly edged out Reiner’s flashback and comment about walls at the 2nd most tragic moment.

Seeing what actually fighting within the walls has done to Reiner–his trauma, etc. was an excellent contrast to the relative innocence the new cast gives off, and it’s heartbreaking to consider that the Warriors we know may have once been the same way. Eren & co. please arrive promptly and save them.

Reiners flashback scene was the most impactful moment in my opinion. It was so heartbreaking.

I thought poop machine was bad, titan carpet bombing is even more wtf

Devastating. To see the Eldians being used as mindless weapons was severely disturbing. And Zeke finally realising that War is indeed a terrible thing.

These chapters are hella intense and enlightening about the world outside. It’s still really sick though. Totally sick I can’t even.

LAST MONTH THERE WAS OVERWHELMING SUPPORT FOR GABI. HAS THIS CHAPTER CHANGED YOUR OPINION OF HER? (445 responses)

Gabi’s glee in the last chapter didn’t sit well with some people. In this chapter she was more sedate, but still very much in it to win it, even accusing Falco of having ulterior motives for rescuing that dying enemy soldier. While the majority claim to have had no real shift in opinion, I urge you to look at the next question to see how popularity numbers have changed.

Her sympathy for her older warriors. that line with “Reiner… be careful” killed me

Her character seems more sympathetic. She was kind of a brat last chapter. This chapter she seems to actually see the realities of war.I was supposed to have an opinion on her?

I lost a lot of respect for her when she didn’t support Falco’s choice to help the soldier from the other side

Something that stuck out to me was Gabi’s concern for Reiner, “Reiner… be careful.” It’s a bit odd, she wants his power (aka eat him) but is concerned for him?

I think it was kinda satisfying to see Gabi’s view on the world change since she seemed so cocky before hand.

I was supposed to have an opinion on her?

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE OF THE NEW RECRUITS? (471 responses)

In the last chapter poll, support for Gabi is overwhelming. She had 38% of the popular vote and Colt was second with 25%. Falco was sitting in 3rd with only 19%. But look at how opinions have changed! Falco is new best boy with 37.2% picking him as favorite while Gabi has dropped more than 10 percentage points.

Gabi and Falco warmed on me but not enough. I still want to spend the whole volume on Marley before moving on.

It was really disturbing to realize that Annie, Bertolt, Reiner, and Marcel were once probably just like Gabi, Falco, Udo, etc. They might have been idealistic, prone to kindness even to their enemies (like Falco)…

HAS REINER’S LUCK FINALLY RUN OUT? (474 responses)

The overwhelming majority think Reiner’s streak of immortality will continue. This is one of those times that I disagree. I think Reiner’s titan age plus the severity of his hit may have weakened him to the point of no return.

I’m still sad about Reiner’s potential fate but I have to get prepared for him to die next chapter or in the chapter after. Poor boy only dedicated his life to an imposed duty since childhood without a break, on top of losing everybody he loved.

Since Reiner’s been knocked out (again XD) it could be a good time for the next chapter to open up with a flashback and end with him waking up? He’s been kept alive for a while, and there’s obviously a reason for it.

Maybe im in denial but Reiner cant die yet, he’s the warrior that knows the enemy best and needs to teach someone to use the 3dmg (If he hasnt already in these 4 years)

WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO INHERIT REINER’S TITAN FORM? (477 responses)

Last month 39.3% thought Reiner would keep his power. Confidence has grown slightly in chapter 92 with 42.3% thinking he’ll stay around a bit longer.

i hope reiner will not gonna die because of gabi , if isayama want to kill him no matter what i want him to die like a hero

I really don’t want Reiner and Zeke to be replaced, as I don’t see how that would add anything to the story and many conflicts would never be resolved.

WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO INHERIT ZEKE’S TITAN FORM? (473 responses)

Last month 55.4% thought Zeke would keep his power. That number has increased to 58.6% with The Jaeger Brothers Reunion Tour cited as the primary reason.

The real difference here is that last month 26% thought Colt would be his successor. That number is down to only 16.3% with Falco gaining the difference.

I wish they would show why zeke was the holder of the key to the whole story.

I don’t think Zeke is going to get eaten, not soon, at least. He’s got so many plot points that require him

I can’t wait until Eren re-unites with Zeke.

Perhaps I’m really reaching, but I hope Zeke was genuine when he said he’d save Eren.

I refuse to bid Zeke farwell before he gets to see his lil bro once more

DA BEAST DADDY IS DA BEST DADDY.

WE GOT A LOOK AT GALLIARD’S EXTREME AGILITY. DO YOU THINK HE ATE YMIR? (474 responses)

Last month 39.8% of people thought Ymir was dead. While this question isnt identical, it carries the same thought. 69.2% of people think Galliard is a new and unique shifter and not a recycled Ymir.

While Gaillard is agile, Ymir’s titan didn’t have the special jaw design, which would be weird AF if she really was the “Jaw Titan.” So I’m pretty sure she’s still safe

I feel 50/50 about the probabilities of Galliard eating Ymir, but the agility he has is not a proof, i don’t believe the “every titan has a unique ability” thing.

I hope Ymir isn’t dead not just bc she’s my bae, but bc, contrary to Reiner to who I don’t see relevant to the story anymore, so, Ymir is…

YAMS my man dude bro I wanna know the dealy-o with Ymir ASAP thx

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE PIECK AND GALLIARD’S HUMAN FORMS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER? (475 responses)

People are curious, but seeing Pieck and Galliard as humans is not as important as seeing the main cast.

I’m really hoping to see Galliard and Pieck’s human forms soon. Since there were many parallels between RBA and EMA and Zeke is said to be like a warrior Levi, I’m hoping for Galliard and Pieck to be like some warrior versions of Erwin and Hange.

I do want to see Galliard and Pieck’s human forms but not if it means we get another Marley chapter. It’s time to go back to the real protagonists.

HOW READY ARE YOU FOR THE MANGA TO MOVE BACK TO OUR MAIN CAST? (486 responses)

I’ll leave this one without my usual commentary :D

All I hoped for was to at least see Reiner and Zeke again. But I’m ready to see my children again next month. :’)

honestly I really want to see Eren’s side again, but I think it would be extremely entertaining to discover what exactly changed within the Walls and the Scouting Legion from Reiner/Zeke/Marley’s point of view once they will actually attack them. It would mean more surprises which is always good, no matter how much I’m dying to see what our other characters look like now.

please @ god i miss our main cast babies

I can’t wait to see Eren & Co! \>o</ Maybe Armin had grew his hair into a Ponytail too!

back to eren, please

fans are making too much drama for the recent lack of the main trio and the 104th squad. I’m more happy to learn about new characters outside the island and see differents points of view about the world

It’s all well and good to introduce new characters but this late in the story, after all these very dramatic plot/character changes and massive mystery revelations it’s a bit… abrupt, to suddenly be with all these new people. I feel like it’s a different series and no one told me about it.

WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST (484 responses)

Last month 42.1% cited the 104th as faves; 33% favored the vets; 10.9% said the warriors. This month the warriors saw the a nice increase, moving up to 14.7%.

Final thoughts

There are more chapter thoughts in this post. If I didn’t publish your comment, please know that I read it and I thank you for the support. Even though these polls are more silly than serious, I enjoy getting a perspective that’s wider than my own. Thank you!

#snk meta #snk analysis #snk 92 #snk chapter 92 #snk poll #thank you to everyone for participating #publishing without proofing #and while drinking #I will regret this tomorrow

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