#store closing in a week. so your last chance to get them before february

[layaart]

dragon book stickers are now on my store! the gold + the dragon and gem are shiny and metallic :)

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Lighthouse [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@happyheidi) Center (@agentdilfhotchner) Right (@theindividualchef)

Prompt: Hotch notices some distressing signs from the reader when he bumps into them at the grocery store. He doesn’t say anything, but something tells him that the reader isn’t well. He goes to their job and finds them just in time. Aka, when Aaron and the Non-BAU!reader get a chance to heal together. 

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: hurt/angst/comfort

Word Count: 8.9K

Content Warnings: Grief and loss, single fatherhood [Aaron],  depression [Hotch and Reader], brief mention of kidnappings [unsub], domestic violence (fights, implied beating, yelling, chocking, kicking hitting, degrading comments (reader)], hospitals, broken bones. If I missed any please let me know. 

A/N: Good evening, loves! He’s the first Aaron fic of 2024! It’s a bit dark but I tried to handle the subject matter with care. This idea came from @imagining-in-the-margins's amazing January/February Challenge Prompt list: “Character escapes an abusive relationship and the recovery is harder than they thought.” Given that Aaron went through abuse himself and has healed from many things, I wanted to think about how he would try and help someone else going through it too. I just love it when Hotch gets protective and puts someone in their place. I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you enjoy reading it. If you do, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re all having a good week! Love Levi - ❤️

P.S. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or any kind of abuse, there are resources out there. Please speak to a loved one or trusted individual. If you need help you can contact The National Dometic Hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or you can visit their website for resources. Please be safe. 

List wil all stories 

_y/n_ = your name 

_l/n_ = your last name 

_y/f/c_ = your favorite color 

_y/p_ = your partners 

_y/p/n_ = your partner’s name (as the partner is a real jerk, put some terrible person’s name here) 

_y/s/hw_ = your style of handwriting (cursive, loopy, blocky, etc.) 

_y/d/a_ = your dominant arm

_y/e/p_ = your ex-partner 

Hotch was walking down the pharmacy aisle of the grocery store. He was looking for the children’s nausea medicine. He’d been looking for twenty minutes. Aaron wondered if they kept it in some other part of the store. Jack’s tummy ache still hadn’t gone away since the night before, and he considered if he should take Jack to his pediatrician. The issue was, that it was Saturday and the doctor's office was closed. Aaron knew he could be paranoid and that Jack probably just had a stomach bug, but he worried. He always worried about his son. Since Haley’s passing, Jack took up a majority of his free time and all of his thoughts when he wasn’t on a case. Adjusting to the grief and loneliness had been hard. Harder than he’d ever imagined, but time, as the saying went, heals all wounds. Even those unseen. Emotional wounds that needed sutures and tender care long after they’d healed. It wasn’t perfect or easy juggling being a single dad and work. It had taken a long time to figure out. But he’d leaned on people, and after a while, he started to feel like a version of himself again. One that still mourned the loss, and regretted his choices, but he was getting better.  Jack was too. Except, this Friday Jack went to a party at a friend's house and caught some illness that was going around. Aaron was so busy trying to find the medicine that he didn’t see that he was about to bump into someone. When the two collided, _y/n_ flinched, but composed herself quickly. So quickly that the familiar man didn’t notice it. They both said in unison, “Sorry.” Aaron straightened and _y/n_ got off of her toes. The pair looked at each other and after a beat, realized they knew each other, at least a little bit. It took a moment for _y/n_ to say, “Oh, cold brew with a shot of espresso on the side. Aaron, right?” For _y/n_, most people she interacted with were associated with some sort of coffee or tea order. _y/n_ was surprised with herself that she’d remembered the tall man’s name. She’d never seen him dressed so casually before. He was just wearing jeans and a dark green t-shirt that accentuated the muscles of his toned torso. In the mornings at six a.m., that man that she thought was called Aaron, only wore a suit and tie. The kind that was tailored just for his tall frame. The expensive material didn’t reveal as much as this outfit did. Even so, he was very attractive. Often, seeing him at the counter was the highlight of _y/n_’s morning. _y/n_ knew that sounded pathetic, but hell the guy actually smiled at her before the sun was up, and he always tipped. Being a barista wasn’t the most exciting job, but at least _y/n_ got to see him on and off during the work week. 

Aaron was desperately wracking his brains for the name of the woman who had memorized not only his coffee order but his name as well. Why couldn’t he remember it? Aaron could picture her name tag with the gold lettering embossed on the enamel pin, but the name was out of focus. Admitting defeat, he replied, “That’s me. And you are?” _y/n_ looked at Aaron and replied, “_y/n_, _l/n_.” She wasn’t disappointed that he didn’t remember her name. No one remembered her name. _y/p_ wouldn’t let her get close enough to anyone to need to remember her at all. _y/n_ told herself internally, “I’m used to it. It doesn’t hurt if you don’t care.” As much as _y/n_ wanted to believe that lie, she was hurting. Her body ached under her dark long-sleeved shirt. She hadn’t meant to make a snarky quip back at _y/p_ last night, but the remark had come unbridled, and she’d paid for it dearly. _y/n_ snapped back to the present as her most irregular, regular customer asked, “Were you trying to reach something on that top shelf? Can I grab it for you, _y/n_?” Something about the way he said her name, had _y/n_ look at him like she’d never seen Aaron before. Like she’d never seen a man before. Not one that oozed confidence even when he was just standing in a grocery store aisle. _y/n_ knew that _y/p_ would never live up to that standard, as hard as they tried, and as long as they lived. _y/n_ flinched at the very idea of the thought. The things _y/p_ would do to her if she ever thought or dared speak something like that in their partner’s presence. Aaron noticed the reflexive jerk of _y/n_’s body like she’d been hit by an invisible hand. He furrowed his brow and took a small step back. “_y/n_, are you alright?” Aaron knew that look and understood the flinching away from things. He’d done enough of it in his childhood. Suddenly, he was concerned about the woman that he saw when he was on his early morning caffeine runs. Hotch felt ashamed that he’d never paid _y/n_  much attention. However, he was paying attention now, as _y/n_ fixed her face back to normal. Back to a friendly smile that hid any physical or mental pain she might be in. _y/n_ didn’t notice Aaron profile her. Instead, she cleared her throat and said, “Yeah, um, could you grab three of those instant ice packs? The cheapest brand on the left?” Hotch nodded and didn’t even need to reach very high to grab the aforementioned items _y/n_ had requested. _y/n_ held out her basket, and he dropped them into the container. Aaron noticed but didn’t comment on the odd assortment of painkillers, gauze packs, and a single pregnancy test on the far right side of the basket. Aaron moved his eyes up quickly to not look like he was prying into her personal life. Sometimes being a profiler had its downsides, and situations where he could see things that didn’t look good were one of them. It’s not like he could just say, “Hey, _y/n_, why do you need those ice packs,” or “Hey. _y/n_ if you lifted your shirt sleeves what would I see?” He wasn’t a mandatory reporter. He wasn’t a professor, or a nurse, or a school counselor. He just had a brain that let him see things that others didn’t. Things that people like _y/n_ probably didn’t want him to see. Then again, he could be reading into the woman’s grocery choices a bit too much. He didn’t know her, at least not more than her name, and she worked at his favorite coffee shop that was closest to the Quanitco Field Office. He liked it because, on a good morning, it took him less than ten minutes to get from the coffee shop to work. 

_y/n_ looked at cold-brew-and-a-shot-of-espresso. He seemed to have gone somewhere else in his brain. She didn’t plan on standing there forever, and had to say, “Well thanks, Aaron. I’ll see you…” she hesitated and finished the sentence with, “...when I see you.” _y/n_ gave the man a little wave and walked toward the self-checkout. Hotch replied, “See you Monday, _y/n_.” It was an odd interaction, to say the least. Aaron realized he’d said, “See you Monday” like a man who worked in a bank, or finance, or some mundane job that let him keep a regular schedule, when he had the opposite of that job. He could be called into the office that moment, and he’d go because that’s what he’d signed up for. Aaron’s phone buzzing made him fish it out of his back pocket and lose his current train of thought. The text was from Jess asking if he was headed back yet. He quickly replied, “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just picking up the medicine now.” Hotch put his phone away and scanned the kid's medicine section once more. At the end of the row, he found what he was looking for. The child-friendly gummies, he hoped, would allow Jack to relax. Aaron and his son had stayed up most of the night as Jack threw up once an hour or so. Hotch felt the tiredness of the night, and his concern for Jack deep down. Those thoughts had him forget, at the moment, the worry he had for _y/n_. As Aaron was texting and recounting last night, _y/n_ was quickly scanning her items and placing them in a _y/f/c_ reusable bag. Once the receipt was spat out of the machine, she took it, crumpled it, and tossed it in the trash by the front door. If there was one thing _y/n_ was grateful for, it was the self-checkout. There wasn’t anyone there to judge you on what you bought, unless it was alcohol, and it was quiet and quick. She saw no one, and no one saw her. Except, today had been different because she had been seen. That was a rarity. Even if it had only been a minute-long conversation with Aaron. He was a customer who was gone for days in a row with no apparent rhyme or reason, yet always came back. Always at six, and always in a suit. He was part of the group that she called, before the morning rush. That’s probably why she remembered him so well. He was distinct and unique and by far the hottest guy who graced the crowd from six a.m. to seven a.m. After seven the people came like a mob and names, orders, and faces all blurred together until the mid-afternoon lull. As _y/n_ sat in her car thinking, she realized that she didn’t have time to daydream. Especially not about a guy. She looked at the clock in her car and realized that she’d spent more time in her thoughts than she’d anticipated. “Shit” _y/n_ muttered to herself, realizing that if she drove fast, she’d have just enough time to ice the worst of her bruises and discard the ice packs in the dumpster outside her apartment before _y/p_ came home from work to notice them. Given the time crunch, _y/n_ started the engine and whisked her car out of the parking lot as safely, and quickly as she could manage. Any thoughts of Aaron were temporarily replaced with thoughts of getting to ease the aches in her body for a few minutes before another fight inevitably broke out when _y/p_ got home from work. 

As it turned out, Hotch didn’t show up to the coffee shop on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, and on Thursday it was another no show, _y/n_ really started wondering what the man did for work. She first thought was a lawyer. He looked the part with his clothes and his stern expression. There were plenty of law offices around the coffee shop, but she never saw him go into any of those buildings after he’d picked up his order from the counter. After he’d told her, “Have a good day,” and then walked out the door with long confidant strides while the bell rang. She considered the possibility of banking or finance, but from what _y/n_ knew, both of those jobs must require consistent hours in an office somewhere. But cold-brew-and-a-shot-of-espresso didn’t seem to keep any type of schedule, and he didn’t seem to be the type that worked in an office. Plus, all the bankers and finance bros she served every morning seemed glum and depressed. Aaron was intense, but he didn’t seem depressed. At least not anymore. The first time he’d come into the coffee shop she’d noticed him because he was new and it was early. He was the first customer of the day, and _y/n_ hadn’t even pulled the cold brew mix out of the fridge when he ordered one to go. As she’d explained that It would be a few minutes,  and the tall man just nodded and said, “It’s fine. I can wait.” The man’s low voice sounded deeply sad. Like he was already dead and buried. It made _y/n_ look at him fully. He had a handsome face, all jaw, and dark hooded eyes. He looked like he sounded, far away. Internally _y/n_ wondered, “Is he going through something? Has this dude slept in the last month?” Both looked true from his slightly disheveled appearance and deep bags under his eyes. At this point, _y/n_ was happily in love with a person that she’d never guessed would lay a finger on her. A person who didn’t raise their voice, threaten them, cheat, or humiliate her in public. No. she was newly in love and everything was perfect. In fact, her partner had just agreed to move in with her last night. But the man in front of her, who’d said his name was Aaron, didn’t look any like she felt. _y/n_ wanted to ask him if he was okay, but it didn’t feel right. He was just a new customer and by now a small queue was forming behind him. So instead, she’d pulled a shot of espresso for him while he waited for his cold brew.  

When Aaron heard his name, he walked over to the counter. Unless he was very behind on the coffee scene he didn’t think the small cup he was being handed was his. _y/n_ saw the look of confusion on his face, and she quickly explained, “Pulled you a shot on the house for making you wait. Hope it will tide you over.” Hotch left something in him that could be gratitude, and he murmured, “Thanks,” as he stepped back with the cup in his hands. It was the kindest thing _y/n_ could think to do for him while she took the next few orders and then started getting out the drinks including Aaron’s. Hotch had found the coffee spot because he had driven past it countless times since living in D.C. and commuting to Virginia. It had caught his eye early on because it seemed to be the only coffee place open that early. It had finally drawn him in when he wasn’t sure if he could live past the grief of losing Haley. Jack kept him going and that was enough, but he could admit he was struggling. He’d decided that doing something different, anything different, might do something for him. He wasn’t sure he could keep doing what he had been doing for the last two months. Even though he wasn’t much of an espresso person, he drank the free shot because it was nice of the barista to give it to him. Shortly after, he was given his cold brew, and he drove toward the office like he normally did. Not much changed for him in the day, except the addition of a lot of caffeine made his body feel like he was buzzing until noon. The sensation wasn’t unwelcome, at least it gave him something else to think about apart from loss. Aaron came back the next day and, just because, _y/n_ gave him another free shot of espresso. After a while, he started paying for the espresso, and as the months passed, he seemed to get better and _y/n_’s life got worse and worse and worse. _y/p_ had shown his full colors, and Aaron had worked on healing while  _y/n_ began hurting. Their paths seemed to be like those of ships in the night. Their lights were never bright enough for the other to fully notice. That was until Friday. 

Aaron had come back from a case in Arizona. It wasn’t the worst, It had been a stalker who kidnapped women who looked like the unsub’s mother due to abandonment issues. When the victims didn’t agree to play the part, the unsub wanted, they were replaced. Aaron moved into Dusk til Dawn like he always did. The bell rang as the door opened and he stood in the short line to get to the counter. He had almost forgotten about his interaction with _y/n_ at the store a little over a week ago. Jack had quickly recovered and then the case came, and time just went on like it always did,  but as he caught _y/n_’s eye, he remembered. Not only did he remember her name now, but he remembered what he’d suspected she might be going through. When he got to the counter, she asked, “The usual?” Aaron nodded as he pulled out his card. He looked over at _y/n’s hands as she wrote his name on the two cups in _y/s/hw_. He noticed the slight bruising and scratches on her knuckles. The signs that something might have happened to her were minimal, but he caught them. Aaron was about to comment something, but as he put his card back in his wallet, _y/n_’s demeanor changed in an instant. The small smile and wide eyes she gave him whenever he came in disappeared. Hotch could almost feel the person behind him shuffle on heavy feet. Hotch stopped himself from looking behind him where _y/n_’s eyes were trained. _y/n_ barely murmured, “You’re order will be out in a second.” Aaron stepped a few feet back and listened from a spot far enough away that it didn’t seem like he was snooping, but also close enough to be able to listen in on the conversation happening at the counter. He crossed his hands over his chest. He could feel the slick material of his grey suit under his arms. He heard the person in front of the register say, “Hey. Good morning, sweetheart.” Hotch looked at _y/n_’s face. It was half reverence, half fear as she replied, “Morning. What are you doing here, _y/p/n_?” In a voice laced with love but a hint of bile _y/p_ said, “Can’t a person see their girlfriend in the morning? Plus I’m in desperate need of a coffee. Make it half soy, half oat milk latte with frothed milk, vanilla, and two pumps of sugar-free syrup. And a shot on the side.” _y/n_’s partner sounded more like an order than a command. Like shouting at a caged dog. _y/n_ knew why he needed coffee. He’d broken her carafe last night throwing it at her head. He’d accused her of cheating again because a friend from high school had checked in on her. 

_y/n_ temporarily forgot all the other orders before _y/p_’s, and with a hurried, jerky movements. tried to make _y/p_’s order. If _y/p_ ever showed up to work, it meant she’d fucked up big time. Done something so big or bad that they had to come and see her before their work started, just to let her know that she was going to get it later. It was a promise. What she’d gone wrong since last night’s accusation and makeup session, _y/n_ wasn’t sure, but there was always something. y/n_ wasn’t paying attention to anything, and as she tried to steam the milk, she accidentally burned herself on the steamer. After a second, the pain circuits in her brain fired and she felt the burn, dropping the metal container holding the hot milk. The metal made a clanking sound on the floor, and a few patrons looked over at her. _y/n_ dipped behind the counter before anyone could notice the soft sob that left her. It was a cry of pain and fear. _y/n_ took the towel from her apron and wiped the floor first. She then fixed her face, got up, placed the dirty metal container in the sink, and remade the drink and espresso shot. It took her about twice as long as normal, but her hand was letting out red hot pulses every second or so. She wasn’t in the right head space to be making drinks at the moment. When the coffees were done, she moved back to the checkout where _y/p_ had firmly planted themself. In a sickeningly patronizing tone, they said, “Now that wasn’t that hard, was it _y/n_? God you always were a clutz. Anyhow, see you tonight, love.” _y/n_ raised a hand and said, “Tonight,” with a forced smile. Aaron watched as _y/p_ took one tiny swipe of her hand to rub under her eyes. The tears were too faint for him to see. _y/n_ then moved back to the cups that had piled up behind who Aaron assumed was her partner. A person who had just spoken to her in such a condescending and humiliating manner. _y/n_’s odd assortment of things at the store, the marks on her hands, and now this interaction only highlighted what Hotch assumptioned about _y/n_. When she eventually called his name for pick up, he approached the counter with care. Aaron grabbed his two cups and after _y/n_ said her normal, “Have a good day,” in a tight tone, he couldn’t help himself but say, “_y/n_ can I see your hand?” _y/n_ froze. She looked over at Aaron and pulled her injured hand to her chest with the other. Softly she replied, “It really doesn’t hurt.” Hotch could still see some of the red skin that looked painful. In the kindest tone he had, Aaron said, “It doesn’t look good, _y/n_. Do you have a first aid kit around here somewhere?” Hotch scanned behind the counter to see if there was a red box holding medical supplies nearby. _y/n_ hadn’t expected anyone to notice her hand. She especially didn’t expect it from Aaron. Without really thinking, she said, “There’s one in the staff room.” “Would you grab it for me?” Aaron asked. Much like the first time _y/n_ met Aaron, the tone of his voice had her look at him. The dark-eyed man looked concerned. It didn’t make sense. Neither did his tone. It came off as a caring suggestion. Something she hadn’t heard in a long time. _y/n_ was used to apathetic orders from her boss, Lisa, and _y/p_ disappointment in her everything. But care? She hadn’t heard or felt it in years. Aaron’s comment alone had her disoriented. To catch a moment to get back into balance, _y/n_ moved to the back room and took the first aid kit out of the cabinet. _y/n_ swallowed back whatever emotions were trying to force their way out before she stepped back into the main room. 

_y/n_ set the red box on the counter. Aaron held out his hand for her hurt one, and to his surprise, she placed it in his large palm. After a moment of looking at the burn. It didn’t seem too bad, maybe a grade-two burn at worst. After his assessment, Hotch said, “You should run that under a cool tap for a minute. I’ll see if there’s some gauze in here to cover it up. As Hotch heard the water run and rifled through the first aid kit. He pulled out a large bandband-aid a generic antiseptic cream. _y/n_ returned in a moment, drying her hands. _y/n_ didn’t know how to react to this kindness and said, “Sorry I don’t mean to hold you up. You’re always so punctual. You’ve got to be late to wherever you go at this point.” She was giving him a way out. She was giving herself a way out because _y/n_ wasn’t sure how to be in this situation. How she would feel about Aaron if he helped her. Aaron looked at her. He saw the hesitation on her face and replied, “I won’t be late, and I’ll be quick here, I promise.” Aaron sensed that _y/n_ wanted this over with as soon as possible. It didn’t give him much time to think of something to check in with her. Hotch couldn’t delay and he didn’t want to make _y/n_ more uncomfortable, so he took _y/n_’s hand back into his. He squeezed a small dot of the cream on his finger and dabbed it onto her burn. _y/n_ flinched as he touched her more deliberately. Hotch finished that part swiftly and tore open the band-aid gently pressing it over the burn, securing it on her hand. He softly dropped her hand and closed the medical kit saying, “Good as new.” Aaron recognized that he was using the tone that he did with Jack when he came home from a play date with a scrape or bruise. _y/n_ took the kit off the counter and said, “Thanks for the help.” She sounded reserved and Hotch nodded, saying, “It was nothing. Have a good day, _y/n_.” With that, Hotch took his drinks again and moved out of the shop with a weight on his shoulders. _y/n_ watched him go and wished she could have a good day, but the threat of _y/p_ hung over her. _y/n_ also wished and tried to get Aaron’s concerned face and kind words out of her head, but she wasn’t very successful at that either. 

Rossi noticed how perplexed Aaron seemed as he entered the building and moved up toward his office. The older profiler also clocked the two cups of coffee Hotch was precariously holding in one hand. Dave, who was at the railing at the top of the stairs asked Hotch as he got to the top, “You turning into Reid or something?” Aaron scoffed and replied, “I hope not. I’m too old from that kind of energy.” Rossi gave a half-smile before saying, “Well today it looks like you picked up more than a caffeine addiction.” Hotch didn’t understand and asked, “What do you mean?” Dave followed his friend to his office and said, “You look like you’re worried about something. Is Jack alright?” Hotch’s deep sigh told Rossi that he was correct. Something had happened. Aaron looked over at him with knowing eyes. Eyes that had seen too much pain and loss for one man. Hotch swallowed his sip of coffee before saying, “I just saw someone getting torn down. Put in a place I don’t think they deserve, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I’m the Chief of the BAU, one of the most revered branches in the FBI, and I see someone get hurt and I don’t know what to do about it.” Rossi leaned his arms on the desk chair opposite Aaron’s and slowly replied, “Aaron, you can’t save everyone from a bad situation.” Hotch bit the inside of his lip and replied, “But I want to. Am I losing my humanity?” Aaron often wondered after the death of Haley what he was becoming. He hoped it wasn’t something bad. Someone who didn’t care. Rossi watched this struggle and uncertainty play out on Hotch’s face and said, “I think this job can warp the way people working it see things. Pardon this reductionist analysis, but we go out and see countless victims and there’s a big bad to get and hold accountable. The scope of the evil we see is like a tsunami, and when we see a wave we don’t always know what to do. But a wave can still drown someone. That person’s no less deserving of a life jacket.” Rossi knew that he was making it sound like Aaron didn’t want to help whoever he was talking about, and knowing Aaron that was never the case. But Rossi wanted to provide some perspective before delving further into the conversation.  Dave then said, “But Aaron, Not everyone knows they're drowning either. Maybe they don’t know to ask for a life jacket.” Dave was taking a guess here. He knew Hotch well enough that if this was a person Aaron knew well or personally, he would have done something already. So most likely this was a stranger or acquaintance that he’d encountered struggling, and Hotch, being the man he was, couldn't bear to see it happen. Rossi didn’t want to press Aaron. He wasn’t the type to go into detail, so Dave just stepped forward, patted him on the shoulder, and, said, “You’re a good man, Aaron, no matter what you believe, you’re a good man.” With that Rossi stood and walked to the door to let his friend decide what to do after that. And just to lighten the mood, Dave said at the door, “Don’t drink all that coffee at once. You’ll put yourself into cardiac arrest.” 

Once Rossi was gone, Aaron moved behind his desk and sat down. He pulled out his briefcase and set to work on a floor-wide memo about a new policy on overtime. As he worked, he let Dave’s words churn in his head. By lunch, he’d decided that he’d go back to the coffee shop after work. No one had been a lifeline for him in his childhood and he wasn’t going to let it happen to someone else. Yes, he was aware that abuse happened all the time, all over the place and he couldn’t stop all of it. But he could let _y/n_ know that there were places she could go, and resources to her to get out. Something like that would have changed his life, and as it would turn out, Aaron’s willingness to step into a sensitive situation would save _y/n_’s. 

Hotch moved back to Dawn til Dusk after work. Thankfully a case hadn’t pulled the team away. It was just after five thirty and the shop would close in a half hour. He’d never been there in the afternoon. The place took on a more subdued quality. There wasn’t the anxiety, the day was all ahead of me energy that the early morning held. As Aaron stepped inside, there was no one to greet him. Not _y/n_ with her smile that he’d grown used to when he stepped in the door or any customers either. For a second Aaron realized that he might be very silly because maybe _y/n_ didn’t work the afternoon shift and when someone came to out of the backroom or storage room, it would be a total stranger. Aaron assumed that whoever was still in the shop would come out of the staff room because the door stood ajar. He couldn’t see into the room, from where he was standing, but a loud thump had him snap his head to the side quickly. The sound hadn’t come from inside the room, but somewhere just beyond it. The same sound came again, and whatever it was, Aaron didn’t like it. Hotch moved to the side enough to see through the open door which led to another door with a window that looked out onto the alley behind the coffee shop. At first, it just looked like a small corridor that ran out to the street beyond the far side of the building. It seemed quiet until a body was pushed harshly to the ground and into Aaron’s view. Hotch realized that it was _y/n_ from her outfit from that morning. In a split second, Hotch was running through the backroom and out the door as the person who had stood behind him this morning came into view and began viciously kicking _y/n_ in the side. 

_y/n_ curled into a ball on the pavement, choking for air. When _y/p_ came back again on the same day and said they needed to talk, she tried to swallow any fear she had. _y/n_ said they could talk in the back room, but _y/p_ insisted they go outside. That had been her fatal flaw. She didn’t know how to say no to them anymore and even though she was still on the clock, she’d let him into the small space behind the shop. Once the door was closed, _y/p_ had pounced. They pinned _y/n_ against the wall, choking her with such force that she couldn’t get a word out. When _y/n_ was sure she’d pass out from the lack of oxygen, _y/p_ threw her to the ground so hard she felt stunned. When _y/n_ had come to her senses, she tried to crawl away from the pain in her body and the threat of passing out. She still hadn’t fully regained her breath and the sides of her vision blurred at the edges. _y/p_ didn’t let _y/n_ crawl more than a few paces before grabbing her shirt and dragging her toward the dumpster on the opposite wall of the alley. _y/n_ groaned as the pain tore up her body. _y/n_ could feel her shirt riding up due to the rough surface of the concrete. _y/p_ tried for the first time to fight back. To get away, but _y/p_ pushed _y/n_ up to the edge of the dumpster and kicked her in the groin. They crouched down while _y/n_ covered her face and neck. _y/n_ said, “Did you think you could get on birth control and I wouldn’t know. Did you think I wouldn’t know?” _y/n_ shook her head and attempted to explain, but _y/n_ stopped trying when she gasped in pain. _y/n_ had pinner _y/d/a_ under a thick steel boot. The sickening crack that came shortly after had _y/n_ turn to the side and vomit in pain. When she looked up at _y/p_’s face, she knew this was how it was going to end. For some fucking pills. _y/p_ moved in again, pressing their hands to _y/n_ neck, cutting off the air she needed; _y/n_ spluttered fighting for life.However, the pressure was suddenly gone from her arm, neck, and everywhere else. Nothing was making much sense in _y/n_’s pounding head. She could only focus on trying to breathe. 

It took Aaron five long strides to get outside and reach _y/n_ and her assailant. Hotch grabbed _y/p_ around the middle and pulled them off _y/n_. Hotch rolled with the person who trashed and screamed, “Let GO OF ME. Get off me.” Hotch grunted and tried to hold the person still. He found it ironic that _y/n_ was so against being manhandled with what he’d just done to _y/n_. From the anger, the person beneath Hotch showed, Aaron assumed it wasn’t the first time it had been this bad. Rage like that just didn’t start from nowhere, It grew and grew until it became uncontrollable. Aaron knew monsters were bred not born. Hotch caught his breath and said, “Stay still for your own sake. Move and I’ll knock your light out.” _y/p_ spat and said, It’s none of your business.” Aaron tightened his hold and said, “As a federal agent when I see someone get assaulted it suddenly is my business.” _y/n_ stilled for a second but then tried to use all their strength to shove Aaron away. Hotch rocked back on his hip and _y/p_  swung at him. Aaron took the brunt of the blow in his sternum. As big as _y/n_’s partner was, the hit wasn’t strong. It hardly hurt. Hotch was done. He had no place of remorse for abusers and he, unlike the person struggling below him, aimed one solid punch at the dude’s face. Maybe _y/n_ wasn’t fully out, but they were stunned enough to slump back on the ground with a groan. Hotch let them go and moved over to _y/n_ who was coming back to herself. Aaron dropped down on his knees next to _y/n_. The lower half of her body was in a murky puddle at the foot of the dumpster and their upper body leaned against the refuse bin. Aaron didn’t notice as his favorite trousers got soaked in the same murky puddle. He pulled out his phone and dialed 9-1-1. The operator answered asking, “9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?” Aaron cleared his throat and replied, “There’s been an attack on Maddison and Smith. Fourth block down from the stop sign. At the back of Dawn til Dusk. I need medical and police services.” Hotch heard the operator typing in the information before asking, “Are you or anyone in immediate danger? Are you the one that was attacked?” Hotch replied quickly, “No, it was someone else.” He took a second to see that _y/n_’s partner was still out of it and added, “There’s no immediate danger.” The woman on the other end of the line said, “Thank you for the information. Can you provide your name and phone number?” At this stage, Hotch was multitasking. He was carefully looking over _y/n_ who was starting to stir. He held a hand up to still her movements and turned his head toward the phone on the ground saying, “Agent Aaron Hotchner, the number’s 982-289-7765.” After a second, the woman on the phone said, “Thank you, Agent Hotchner, please stay on the line, medical and police services are on their way.” Hotch nodded minutely and when he looked back at _y/n_, she was staring at him with wide eyes. She had registered who he was now and heard his conversation in the back part of her head that wasn't screaming in pain. _y/n_ whispered, “Where’s _y/n_?” The weak attempt at speaking had her cough harshly into her chest, and Aaron leaned closer saying, “Don’t worry about them, _y/n_. Just stay still and try and relax. If you can take small breaths, it might help.” _y/n_ nodded and tried to do as he said. 

_y/n_ watched as Aaron pulled out another phone and called someone else. She thought she heard the name, Morgan somewhere and the name of the shop, but for a man of Aaron’s stature and power, he spoke with surprising softness. As she had seen Hotch take down _y/p_ there seemed to be an anger she hadn’t imagined she’d ever see from him. But now he just looked worried for her. Like he had looked worried at the store. His emotions had turned on a dime. She was used to that with _y/p_. But that was from a constant disappointment to a visceral rage. Aaron’s were different. His seemed to shift from anger to firm protection. _y/n_ didn’t know what to make of it. Didn’t know what to make of her life anymore. She hadn’t expected to live a few minutes ago and now time stretched out before her like nothing she’d ever seen before. It was beautiful and horrifying at the same time. _y/n_ couldn’t think about that though. Not now. Instead, she just did as the man beside her suggested, relax and breathe. That was managable at least. Hotch stayed by her, checking every minute or so to make sure _y/p_ stayed put. Aaron hadn’t even put fifty percent of his strength into his punch, but the slumped body on the ground didn’t move. At least until the police showed up five minutes later and hauled them into a cruiser. _y/n_ suddenly got their energy back and bellowed that they had been attacked by Aaron. _y/n_’s bloody face and broken arm plus Hotch’s badge and account of the story had the officers removed _y/p_ from the scene shortly after. The paramedics showed up at the same time as the officers and started to treat _y/n_. Hotch gave his side of things and tried to listen in on _y/n_’s conversation at the same time. The EMT finished his assessment and asked, “Is your vision blurred? How’s your breathing?” _y/n_ softly replied, “I can see okay. My neck hurts, but I can breathe okay. But my arm, it really, really hurts.” The EMT nodded and said, “It looks like it’s broken. My colleague is going to bring the stretcher around the building now. Once you’re in the ambulance we can get you some pain medication, okay?” _y/n_ nodded and the paramedic asked one last question, “Is there someone we can call for you? A family member or friend?” Hotch watched as _y/n_ shook her head no. She looked incredibly sad and lonely in the moment and it pulled at his insides so much they ached because he knew exactly what that felt like. To feel alone in the world. Hotch stepped forward and said, “I’ll stay with her. Which hospital are you taking her to?” The EMT stood and made room for the gurney along with Aaron. The man replied, “Grand Gen on 45th.” Hotch nodded and watched as _y/n_ got loaded onto the stretcher. As she was taken toward the ambulance Aaron walked beside her and said, “I’ll be at the hospital okay. If you need anything just ask for me, alright?” _y/n_ gave a small nod, thankful that anyone was going to be there for her. 

Aaron spent the next few hours talking to the police and waiting in the hospital for an update. _y/n_ called him in before the doctor came to tell her what was wrong with her. _y/n_ even though she didn’t know the man who had saved her well, was the closest thing she had to a friend in town, and she didn’t want to be alone when she found out the extent of all what was wrong with her. Doctor James was compassionate as he detailed her minor concussion, broken arm, and deep bruises on her body. He detailed a care plan and her need for at least a week of rest. _y/n_ looked at the medical professional and asked, “Can I work after that?” James pursed his lips and replied, “I wouldn’t recommend it. You’ll need to come in for a check-up next week and we can talk about that then. But for now, I need you to rest.” _y/n_ mouthed okay, trying to think about how to tell Lisa that she wasn’t going to be at work for probably over a week. Lisa had fired much of the staff last year and was a chronic, didn’t show up to work even though she owned the coffee shop. _y/n_ had ended up picking up the slack. The doctor looked over _y/n_’s chart and wrote down the pain medications he was going to prescribe her. He looked up from the clipboard and said, “I’ll schedule your release for an hour. I just want to ensure you’re not confused or don’t have any reactions to the medications we gave you. There are some pretty strong ones and not everyone’s body takes to them well. It’s not safe for you to drive, so you’ll need to call someone to get you. Does anyone come to mind?” No one came to mind. If anything came up, she always called _y/p_, but she wouldn’t be doing that anymore. The realization seemed overwhelming. Everything in her life felt overwhelming right now. Hotch stepped forward and said gently, “I can take you home, _y/n_. If you’re comfortable with that. Or I can get you a cab?” _y/n_ looked over to him and said, “You’d do that?” Hotch nodded and reassuringly replied, “Yes. Of course.” Hearing someone so vulnerable sound so desperate only made Aaron want to look out for _y/n_ more. The doctor derailed that train of thought and said, “Well good. Can you go and speak to the charge nurse at the counter, just so we have your information?” Aaron nodded and moved out of the room. After he’d provided the details the hospital needed, he got a call from Morgan. Hotch answered, “Derek, what do you have?” Morgan replied, “I asked Garcia to look up the dude, they have a record as long as my arm. Assault and battery, resisting arrest, DUI’s. After this, I don’t think they’ll be bothering anyone for a while. It was still a bad situation. The cops told me about the details. How’d you know it was going to happen.” Aaron sighed and replied, “I didn’t really. I had my assumptions but it was just a gut feeling I guess.” Derek hummed and said, “Well it’s good you were there. Things could have gone differently.” That was true, but it didn’t stop Aaron from wishing he’d noticed earlier. After asking Morgan to have Rossi pick Jack up from school and watch after his son for a few hours, Aaron ended the call. Around fifty minutes later, _y/n_ was released and Aaron pulled his car up to the front of the hospital. A nurse helped her into the driver’s side of his car. It was an awkward ride as he asked her for her address and he plugged it into his phone. As Aaron drove there was a silence that neither knew how to fill. 

_y/n_ didn’t know how to thank Aaron for saving her life when, up until that afternoon, he’d only been someone to make her mornings a little brighter. And Aaron didn’t know how to comfort a woman who had helped him heal in a small way many months ago. Finally, Aaron just said, “I’m sorry, _y/n_” while keeping his eyes on the road. _y/n_ looked over at him not understanding. She replied, “Why are you sorry, Aaron? You saved my life today, spent four hours in a hospital, and are using your car to take me home. You don’t even know me and you’re doing all of this” Hotch shifted his eyes to _y/n_ and back to the road as he said, “But I saw you. What was happening a few weeks back and I didn’t say anything. I didn’t ask if you needed help. It’s my job to help people. To keep them safe, and I didn’t do that.” _y/n_ pulled her bottom lip into her mouth for a second before responding. When she found out that Aaron was in the FBI while he was speaking to the police, things seemed to make more sense about him. But _y/n_ didn’t understand why he felt bad. She said, “Aaron, lots of people saw. You’re the first person to have ever done anything about it, and it saved my life. I won’t ever be able to pay you back for that, or the kindness you showed me every morning you come in.” _y/n_ stopped herself from saying that he’d given her something to live for. But seeing him slowly get happier had kept her going over the long months when things had gone from bad to worse. She knew that at least one person wasn’t suffering anymore. Hotch’s soft response of, “You don’t have to thank me, ever.” The conversation stopped there as they reached _y/n_’s apartment. Hotch pulled out his card and scribbled his number on the back saying, “Call or text me if you need anything.” _y/n_ nodded, took the card, and slowly walked to her door to enter an empty home. 

_y/n_ hadn’t expected to need to call Aaron Hotchner. But she also hadn’t expected it to be so hard to be alone, to wake in cold sweats every morning. She didn’t think showering alone would be as hard even though showering with _y/e/p_ always ended in fights. _y/n_ knew she had to talk to someone, and the only someone she could think of had been Aaron. So she called him on a Thursday night and he’d picked up on the first ring with, “This is Hotchner.” _y/n_ wasn’t even sure what she was going to say, but finally choked out, “Umm, this is _y/n_, _l/n_, from last week.” There was a pause as Aaron’s synapses fired and he said, “Yes, _y/n_. Is something the matter? Do you need something?” The was a soft shuffling sound on _y/n_ side before she replied, “Kind of. Can we, talk sometime? If you have time?” Hotch blinked a few times before saying, “Sure. Do you want to talk now or later?” _y/n_ who half hadn’t expected Aaron to pick up and fully wasn’t sure what she even wanted to say, said, “Later. Maybe Saturday?” Hotch agreed and said, “Saturday works. I’ll have to bring my son. Would meeting at a park be okay? Jack, my boy could play and we’d have an hour to talk?” _y/n_ hadn’t known Hotch was a father. “Of course, you don’t idiot. You formally met him last week. Can you read minds now or something?” _y/n_ pinched the bridge of her nose and stifled a sigh at her thoughts. Instead, she said, “That works for me. Is there a time and a park that works for you?” They made their meeting plan, and when _y/n_ hung up, she felt oddly comforted that Aaron was a father. The role fit him in some way that she couldn’t fully understand yet. 

That Saturday at Lincoln Grove Park, _y/n_ and Hotch leaned against the rail. _y/n_ looked at the flock of kids on the playground and asked, “Which one is your son?” Hotch smiled and pointed out Jack saying, “The one in the grey beanie and Power Rangers shirt.” _y/n_ spotted the little boy going down the slide and smiled saying, “He’s cute.” Aaron smiled and said, “As his father, I have to agree.” He took a breath and moved his gaze from his son to _y/n_. She looked at him as he asked, “What’s the matter, _y/n_? Are you okay?” Hotch realized that he could have, should have said those words to her when he’d helped her at the store, but it was too late for that now. All he could do was ask them in the present, and be there for whatever answer _y/n_ gave. _y/n_ had considered this question beforehand and replied, “After the first day I thought it was going to be easy. I thought I was going to be happy and want to do things and live life again.” _y/n_ hesitated and Aaron’s eyes softened. He’d seen and experienced enough trauma to know how hard that sudden kind of change was. You didn’t just go from sad to happy overnight, or scared to empowered either. He gave _y/n_ space to finish he thought, and after a moment she did, saying, “But when I wake up and the other side of the bed is empty, I panic. I wonder where _y/e/p_ is and how the fight is to be once it comes. And when I go to the store, I get the things they liked because I liked them too. _ye//p_’s still everywhere even though they’re sitting in a jail cell right now.” It all sounded pathetic to _y/n_ and she continued, “Am I an idiot for falling for someone like that? I really thought they loved me until they hurt me. And at that point, I loved them too much to see past it.” Feeling ashamed, _y/n_ put her head in her hands, not even sure why she was saying this stuff to Aaron. Hotch took a step forward and said her name, soft and melodically. _y/n_ raised her head and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. He put a hand on her shoulder and replied, “You’re not stupid, _y/n_. Some people are just good fakes. They let you see what you want until you think you know them. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Good people don’t have to hide what they are.” Aaron took a pause and felt _y/n_ lean into his touch a bit. He wondered when the last time was that _y/n_ had been offered comfort without it coming at a price. Hotch chose his next words carefully, as he said, “I can’t speak for you _y/n_. But I’ve felt a lot of pain before. Some I didn’t think I was going to make it through. But in time, things got better for me. Small things changed first, and then bigger and bigger things. And finally, I felt like I could breathe again. Like I was a human deserving of love. I had to work for it, but it was worth it. I hope you can find that too, _y/n_. I’d be happy to be there for you if you want to try.” _y/n_’s tears were falling now, and she nodded her head yes. For the first time since she’d been free of _y/e/p_, she wanted to try. 

As _y/n_ and Aaron stood at the edge of the playground, talking and finally getting to know each other after months of almost being friends, it seemed that perhaps they weren't destined to move past each other without ever knowing the other existed. Perhaps they had both been lighthouses on opposite shores trying to save strangers, but now their warm beams were fully on each other. Shining the way to safe passage. And when Aaron saw the hint of a real smile, not one masked by pain or fear on _y/n_’s face, he thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

______________________________________________________________

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[purplesurveys]

1831

What colour is the photo frame closest to you? Green.

Are your pets asleep right now, if you have any? I won't be able to confirm for sure for you since I'm already all wrapped up in bed haha, but there is a very good chance they are. They generally treat crate time automatically as sleep time.

Would you have any idea what your parents are doing right now? My mom's asleep, I assume my dad is beginning work, if he does have to work today. I've never asked him if he works even weekends.

How many windows (roughly) does your house have? I think a good guesstimate would be around 15-20.

Do you have a good relationship with your cousins? I have a good relationship with 99% of them, but I am not necessarily close with all of them.

What was the last kids movie you saw? I'm not sure. It may have been Turning Red a couple of years ago.

Do you know anyone who was born in Africa? I don't think so.

Have you ever been to an internet cafe? Yeah. I was in one just a few years ago to get something printed; they're still relatively common here as not all households have internet.

Are there any upcoming events for you to look forward to? There's Wrestlemania next month which'll be two days; two weeks after that it'll be my birthday.

Has the year gone quickly for you so far? It has. It's weird that it'll be April soon and I'll be celebrating another birthday already; but at the same time it all also feels kind of funny considering January alone felt like 500 years, but then February and March happened/is happening in a flash.

How many siblings does your significant other have? I don't have one.

Are you one of those people who can drink vodka straight? No. I did that once when I was 19, never repeated it.

Have you ever done three or more shots in a row? Not in a row I don't want to die. The most I've done was take them in, like, 5-minute intervals.

Do you share a middle name with any of your friends? Nope.

Are you interested in international politics? I like to keep generally updated on news, but I don't study specifics.

How many pairs of jeans do you own? I have around five pairs of jeans, the rest are different types of pants.

When was the last time you showered? This morning, around 3 AM before I had to leave for work.

Do you know the name of the pharmacist at your local drug store? Nope.

What was the first cellphone you had and how old were you when you got it? I had a Nokia 3310 that had a Winnie the Pooh sleeve; I got it for my 7th birthday. Peer pressure is stupid. Like I'm grateful to my parents for giving into my (ridiculous) wish and getting me a phone, but I wish I never felt like I needed one at that age.

Do you use public transport in your town or city? No.

Have your parents ever worked in a factory? They have not. They started and have stayed in the hospitality industry in the 30+ years they've been working.

Do you have several best friends? Yes.

How many lights are in the room you’re in? I have one ceiling lamp, then one desk lamp.

Is there a Hard Rock Cafe in your town or city? Not here, no. I'll have to go to Makati to visit the Hard Rock we have.

Do you eat fast food more than once a week? No; I'd say once a week itself is the average for me.

What flavour is your toothpaste? Just mint.

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? Sure.

When was the last time you had a bubble bath? Years ago. I prefer showers.

Are you sleepy right now? Getting there.

How big is your backyard? Spacious enough to hold a party or for the dogs to run crazily around.

Do you know anyone with Tourette’s Syndrome? Continued from Sunday. I might? Andi has a set of sounds and movements that would come up every few minutes, but I've never asked about them.

What time does your alarm wake you up in the morning? I don't have any; my body takes care of waking me up anywhere from 6 AM to 8 AM.

What was the last zoo you visited? I've never been to a zoo.

Do you like crime films and tv shows? I like watching true crime stuff, but usually as YouTube mini-documentaries that talk about real cases.

When you shop, do you take a basket or a cart (trolley)? I mean, it depends on how many things I need to get.

Have you ever tasted milk straight from the cow? I haven't.

What’s your favourite sleeping position? On either side, hugging a pillow.

What colour is the bra you’re wearing? I'm not wearing a bra; I'm at home.

Have you ever seen A Clockwork Orange? I have.

Are you bitter about anything? Ohohohoho yes, very much yes.

Do you like to make games out of chores to make them more enjoyable? No.

How many letters are in your best friend’s surname? Seven.

Is there anything in your possession that probably shouldn’t be? Mmm, I don't think so.

What is your favourite flavour of yoghurt? I find yogurt nasty.

What was the first online account you remember having? Discounting emails, I think it may have been Twitter? Either that or Livejournal.

Do you listen to music to fall asleep? Not music, but I have YouTube on and let it go into autoplay.

Where did you go last time you left your town or city? Not counting Metro Manila since I go in and out of there almost everyday, it would be last Friday when I went to Batangas for a company outing.

Do you use emojis? Yes.

Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? For a period. Then I realized I wouldn't make it past a day in law school and promptly let go of that 'dream.'

What percentage of battery does your phone currently have? 76%.

What was the last type of soda you drank? Not sure...either a Pepsi or Coke Zero when there was nothing else to drink. I don't like soda.

How far away from your house is your favourite place to shop for clothes? 15 minutes.

Do you have supplies handy right now to draw something if I told you to? Yups.

Have you ever been married? Nopes.

What does your deodorant smell like? Baby powder.

Is your bedroom more messy or clean at the moment? A little messy, but it's not a shitshow. There are just a couple of things not in their proper place at the moment.

Do you use Twitter? Yup. Not nearly as much as I used to, but I still check it at least once a day just to see what everyone's up to.

Are you any good at baking cakes and cookies from scratch? No.

Is there a floor lamp in your bedroom? There isn't.

What does most of your weekly or fortnightly income go towards? Savings. I hardly touch my money these days except for when I want to buy food.

Have you ever been to another continent? I haven't.

Do you have any hidden piercings? (this includes bellybuttons) I don't.

What month is your birthday? April.

What can you hear right now? One Direction, hehehehe

[olko71]

New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on https://yaroreviews.info/2024/03/asda-billionaire-boss-ive-not-done-bad

Asda billionaire boss: 'I've not done bad'

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By Michael Race & Emma Simpson

Business reporter and Business correspondent

Mohsin Issa, one half of the so-called “billionaire brothers” who own Asda, says he plans to hand over the running of the UK’s third biggest supermarket.

In his first broadcast interview, the entrepreneur told the BBC he was carrying out a “reset” at the grocer before appointing a chief executive.

Despite Asda’s £5bn debt pile, Mr Issa said he was “here for the long haul”.

He also dismissed rumours of a rift with his brother Zuber, saying the pair “get on exceptionally well”.

“We talk to each other probably two or three times a day. We’ve been very, very privileged. We have been on a journey and we have got a long way still to go,” he told the BBC.

It has been quite a journey. Until now the British-Indian Issa brothers have preferred to stay out of the media spotlight, giving no interviews while they built a business empire spanning 10 countries.

They have made it big time – so big the double act was listed 40th on the Sunday Times’ Rich List last year with a net worth of £5.05bn.

“We’ve not done bad to be honest,” chuckles Mr Issa at the opening of Asda’s 1,000th store in Stevenage. “It surpassed our dreams and visions.”

Asked if they hate being called the billionaire brothers, he replies: “It’s not a tag you want to be associated with, absolutely not. But I suppose that’s what people call it and I suppose it is what it is.”

The pair, from Blackburn, had humble beginnings, and ran their own individual businesses before jointly purchasing their first petrol station in Bury, Greater Manchester, in 2001.

Who are the billionaire Issa brothers?

Asda: How to buy a £6.8bn supermarket for £780m

As the oil companies began selling off and closing their High Street petrol stations to concentrate on production and refining, the brothers took a chance to expand and joined forces with private equity firm TDR Capital to snap up the vacant sites.

They also realised another opportunity in making the shops on forecourts more attractive to drivers to spend more money on coffee, fast food and other groceries, which Mr Issa said was a shift from the “dirty, kiosk style” stores offering “cokes and smokes”.

EG Group

Mr Issa claimed the pair got lucky. “We have been in the right place at the right time and taken advantage of some of them opportunities.”

Today, the EG Group empire includes some 6,000 convenience and petrol stations across 10 different countries, including the US and Australia, with the likes of Starbucks, Greggs and Subway on offer at various sites.

The forecourts fuelled the Issas and TDR Capital to buy Asda from Walmart three years ago, but they took on a huge amount of debt to complete the takeover. The brothers were both subsequently awarded CBEs.

Why Asda? “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity,” said Mr Issa, the details man of the double act, who oversees the running of the supermarket while his brother Zuber focuses on the petrol station business.

Mr Issa says he works “six-and-a-half days a week”, often popping up at stores across the country. He is still very much a retailer at heart.

The 52-year-old has been the architect of Asda Express, the convenience store aiming to rival the likes to Tesco Express and Sainsbury’s Local.

The expansion has been his mission. On Thursday, Mr Issa opened the latest Asda Express, but the company has already converted some 110 former Co-op and EG stores to Asda Express in February alone. The firm will have amassed 470 convenience stores in the UK by the end of March.

Meanwhile, Asda is proposing raising the hourly pay rate for its employees from £11.11 to £12.04. For those working at Asda store within the M25 region, pay will rise from £12.28 to £13.21 an hour. Shopworkers’ union Usdaw is recommending that their members accept the offer at a vote later this month.

“Did I ever think I’d be in a business the size and scale of this? Absolutely not,” said Mr Issa. “I just had that vision of running my own business. I always had that determination of trying to control my own destiny.”

But running Asda has been a challenge for the Issas, with Asda losing market share in recent times, with the likes of Aldi and Lidl attracting more customers, especially as household budgets have been squeezed.

The £4.9bn debt pile has also drawn scrutiny. Higher interest rates have prompted fears over the company’s ability to pay loans off, but Mr Issa dismisses any questions that Asda has bitten off more than it can chew, arguing the debt is sustainable due to the majority of it being fixed. Asda claims 90% of its debt is fixed.

He said Asda generated so much cash that “even if our interest payments were to double Asda has more than sufficient headroom to service that”.

“It is challenging. If you get up and if you’re not challenged then I suppose you shouldn’t be doing your job,” said Mr Issa.

“We’re in a transition period where we’re evolving, but also we’re investing significantly. Market share will fluctuate over a period of time.

“We feel we’re doing the long-term investment that will help us regain some of that market.”

Asda

Launching the convenience stores and implementing a “best in class” IT system have been the two goals for Mr Issa, who said he was now “getting to a point” where he could step aside and appoint a chief executive to head up the business.

The brothers have kept EG Group’s base in their hometown and remain close to their roots, building homes for themselves and their families, as well as building a mosque and funding a hospital.

But while they made their money in petrol stations, the pair have bought other big brands and attempted to purchase others.

They snapped up fast food chain Leon in 2021, but narrowly missed out on buying the struggling convenience store chain McColl’s, losing out to Morrisons. There were also reports they had their eye on pharmacy chain Boots and coffee shop chain Caffè Nero rejected a takeover bid.

But their empire building has not been without its controversial moments, with questions raised about EG Group’s governance and a fine for “appalling” safety breaches at a former company.

When it comes to Asda, Mr Issa said he felt a responsibility to make sure he was a “great custodian at the brand”. He said there were no more business deals on the cards for now, but added “never say never”.

“When you’re fortunate enough to see the opportunities and have the ability to execute them and be part of a plan and then move on to the next thing then that’s something that I will always look to do.

“That’s the entrepreneur. That’s in your DNA.”

Related Topics

Companies

Mergers and acquisitions

Retailing

Blackburn

Fuel

Asda

Bury

More on this story

Who are the billionaire Issa brothers?

31 August 2022

[gubler-me-up]

Red Lingerie

Request: Can I ask for a Sub!reader fix please? Some heavy nsfw?

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! Very simple request but did I ever struggle to think of something LOL I hope it checks all your heavy NSFW checkboxes and it satisfies your craving! Happy reading! 😏

Couple: Dom!Spencer/Sub Fem!reader

Category: Smut (NSFW 18+)

Content warning: Unprotected sex, choking, oral sex (male receiving), rough sex, creampie, hair pulling, overstimulation, fingering, penetrative sex, degradation, slight bondage, spanking, slapping, dom/sub dynamic, spitting, swearing

Word count: 5k

————-

Valentine’s Day was a day to celebrate the love between two lovers. Too bad your lover was away during the day. You two wanted to go out for a nice Valentine brunch, go for a romantic walk down by the lake before going home for the day to enjoy each other’s company. It was supposed to be extra special considering you two hadn’t spent a lot of time together for weeks.

Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend had an unpredictable job. He left a week before Valentine’s Day which earned him a huge, exaggerated sigh from you before you accepted he would be absent. You were excited to show him the special outfit you had planned for the night portion of your Valentine’s Day extravaganza. It was a little number you had picked up a few months prior because you felt as if you dripped sex in it.

When you tried it on in the store and looked at yourself, you felt as if you were the most beautiful version of a femme fatale. The mesh babydoll dress with mid-thigh high matching mesh stalkings that had a cute lace pattern at the top. The lace at the top of the stockings matched with the red lace thong that accompanied the outfit. Faux red feathers decorated the bottom of the mesh babydoll dress and a generous amount of the feathers covering your breasts. You knew it had to be yours immediately for not only your eyes to appreciate but for Spencer’s eyes as well.

You stood in front of the bathroom mirror with the lingerie hanging from your fingertips as you pressed it up against your nude body. You sighed as you thought of what could have been. You tossed the outfit aside as the chances of Spencer coming home for Valentine’s night was slimming by the hours. Even though you weren’t going to wear it you decided you could at least get ready as if you were about to wear it. You opened the cupboard and pulled out your favourite lotion that made your skin feel amazing. You then pulled out your hair products and tools.

You reached for your phone on the bathroom counter to change the playlist on your phone to something uplifting. Sometimes you needed the motivation to style your hair into something decent. You noticed a text from Spencer on your lock screen. You raised a curious eyebrow as you saw the message he had sent you. A smile instantly spread across your face and you could feel your heart race in excitement. You put down your phone before picking up your red lingerie piece.

You placed it against your body again. You admired yourself in the mirror once more but this time you looked more energized, over the moon even. You used your free hand to press the lingerie closer against your body as you rand your hand down it to mimic how Spencer’s hand would caress your body in a few minutes.

“I guess I am going to be his little whore tonight.”

You spent the next 20 minutes preparing yourself for his arrival. You knew how much he loved seeing you all dolled up for him. It made the unwrapping process so much more enticing for him. He loved stripping you from perfection down to the desperate whore you masked behind your perfect hair and put-together look. You loved the way he looked at you once he had you how he wanted you. It was as if you were his candy he wanted to indulge in over and over and over again.

You made sure your hair was perfectly done with not a single strand out of place. You made sure every part of your body had your favourite lotion portioned on it. You then pulled up your mid-thigh high stockings before slipping on your lace panties. You then completed your ensemble with the red baby doll dress. You made sure to fix your hair in the mirror one last time before leaving the bathroom to get yourself positioned.

Before you went on the bed, you went to the dresser and selected his favourite perfume of yours. You sprayed your neck once on the left and then once on the right. You lightly sprayed your breasts for him. You then sprayed your wrist and rubbed your wrists together to pass on the scent to the other. You placed the perfume bottle back in its spot and went to turn off the bedroom light.

When the lights went off the only light pouring in was from the February moonlight. You went to the side table to turn on the lamp to add a bit more light to the room. You didn’t waste any more time lingering on the small things as you knew he’d be home any minute now. You crawled in the bed to get yourself ready for his arrival. You laid on your side with one hand propping your head up with the other laying on your side.

It was as if he knew you were ready for him because not even a minute passed by when you heard the apartment door open. You felt your heart race again as you could hear him place his keys down on the side table next to the door and heard his footsteps walking towards the bedroom. He wasn’t even in your presence yet and you were already getting wet at the mere thought of all the things he would do to you.

He opened the bedroom door to see you waiting for him on the bed with your red lingerie. He had a large bouquet of red and white roses wrapped in a light pink wrapping paper. You believed he wanted to surprise you with them but you had beat him to the surprise of the night. He stood there, frozen, analyzing every inch of your body.

You smiled at him. “Are those roses for your favourite whore?”

He smirked before he started to move again. He walked over to the empty chair in the room and placed the flowers on it. He looked back over at you before taking off his suit jacket. You eagerly changed your position from laying down to being on your knees on the bed.

He walked over to you as he started to undo his tie. As soon as he stood in front of you, you couldn’t help but put your hands on his face. You looked at him with an overbearing lust in your eyes as you caressed your hands down to his neck to pull him closer to you. You took a hold of his undone tie with both hands as you stared into his desired driven eyes.

“Please make me your whore for tonight,” you begged.

He tried his best to refrain from breaking into a smile from how needy you sounded. He placed his hands on the back of your thighs and caressed them gently up and down. Your muscles loosened up under his touch and you just wanted him to wreck you already.

“I don’t think you’re ready to be my whore tonight,” he said.

You pouted. “I am. I want you to fuck me like a dirty whore. I want you to use me as a cum dump.”

He nested his head in the crook of your neck. You could feel his steady breathing on your neck before he planted two kisses on your neck. You let out an eager moan as you tugged on his tie to get some kind of response from him. He hit your earlobe softly before placing his mouth close to your ear.

“You want to be a cum slut not just a simple whore,” he whispered.

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be. If you want me to be your cum slut, I’ll be your cum slut. If you want me to be a filthy whore, I’ll be-”

You gasped as you felt him shove two of his fingers into you. You felt his fingers steadily flick against your g-spot. You moaned out a hungry as you desperately wanted him to continue. He had you right where he wanted you and you wanted to continue being in his lustful grasp.

“I’ll decide what you are and what you’re not tonight. Do I make myself clear?” He asked.

“Y-yes, sir,” you whimpered.

He took out his fingers from inside you. He leaned away from you and you immediately dropped your grip on his tie. From the way he looked at you it was clear he was ready to use you like the whore you wanted to be treated like. He placed his fingers on your mouth and then shoved them in so you could taste yourself. You moaned in delight to let him know you enjoyed the taste.

“I need a good vessel for my dick. Do you think your whore mouth can do that?” He asked.

You nodded in response. He took his fingers out of your mouth and immediately gripped your neck. He pulled you close to his face so you could see how disappointed he looked.

“I think a desperate whore like you can use her words,” he said.

“My whore mouth can do anything for you, sir,” you said.

“I don’t want to hear any gagging. You’re going to take my dick like a deprived whore. Am I making myself fucking clear?” He asked.

“Yes, sir,” you responded.

Without another word exchanged, he pushed you down to the side with you looking up to the ceiling. He gripped onto your hair and yanked your head so it would dangle off the bed. Even though you could see he still had his pants on you didn’t wait to open your mouth to prepare yourself for his dick.

You watched eagerly the upside-down image of him undressing. He threw his tie on the bed which could only mean he was planning on using it later. He threw off his dress shirt and flung it on the ground. He then unbuttoned his dress pants and pulled them off just leaving his underwear on.

He approached your mouth and rested his bulge on your mouth. You licked the fabric which concealed what you really wanted in your mouth. You could feel his hard dick through the fabric which made you overly excited and overly wet.

“Pull it off if you want it so bad, whore,” he demanded.

You didn’t hesitate to yank his underwear off. His dick slapped you on your face as it bounced out which made you smile. With no more delay, he shoved it in your mouth. You tried your hardest not to gag on it, especially when he went right into fucking your mouth.

He pulled down the top of your babydoll dress to reveal your breasts. He gripped your right breast into his right hand with a mighty grip on it. You let out a powerful moan in response. He slapped your breast and you felt the sting linger before he did it again.

“Did I tell you to make a fucking noise? Your mouth is for sucking my dick, not for commentary,” he said as he slapped your breast again.

Your facial muscles flinched but you didn’t make another sound. If you wanted to be his whore for the night, you had to do everything he said. You knew what he had in store for you was going to be a night of sexual thrills.

You then felt his hands messing around with your underwear. You heard a slight rip of lace but didn’t care since you expected it to happen. When he was in the zone, clothing couldn’t keep him from getting what he wanted from you. You soon felt his fingers back in you stroking your g-spot. You tried your best to refrain from moaning even though he was pushing you towards it.

“Your whore pussy’s as wet as your fucking mouth. I can’t choose which one to cum in first,” he said.

You felt your legs tremble as he started to stroke your g-spot even more intensely. You tried your best not to make a single sound and continued to let him fuck your mouth. Your spit started to leak out of your mouth and go down your face. You could feel it go down your cheeks, past your forehead, and into your hair in an overflowing, bubbly stream.

Your focus switched from your hair to your clit when you felt him fiercely circling your clit. You couldn’t even hide how badly your legs trembled and you could no longer hold back your moans. You let out a cry of a moan repeatedly. Your sounds only motivated him to go faster and faster around your clit. His thrusts inside your mouth started to become more rapid and deep to the point where his dick was touching your throat.

“I thought I told you not to say a fucking word while I’m fucking your disgusting whore mouth,” he said.

You couldn't even respond to plea your case as his thrusts weren’t lightening up and neither was his hand around your clit. He stopped circling your clit and landed a harsh slap on your overstimulated clit. You let out a muffled shriek as the slap tingled throughout your body. He then went back to circling it for a few seconds before slapping it again. You arched your back as you muffled out another shriek.

“You were fucking begging me to treat you like a whore and you can’t even put out like one. You better be the fucking best cum slut right now if you want a chance to get fucked,” he said.

He went back to circling your clit as you tried to maintain your cool. Then you felt it. You felt a tingling sensation overcome your body. You tried to hold it back. You tried extremely hard to. Then he put his fingers back in you to stroke your g-spot relentlessly. You had no choice at that point but to cum.

You arched your back further as you let your orgasm take over your body. You moaned loudly around his mouth but he didn’t let up from fucking your mouth. He also wasn’t done with you. You felt him roughly squeeze your left breast in response to you having an orgasm. You let out a muffled shriek in response.

He went back to rapidly circling your overstimulated clit. You were still on a high from your orgasm so you couldn’t control anything any longer. You could feel tears forming in your eyes from how overwhelmed your pussy felt from his touch. You muffled a scream around his dick as you felt yourself squirt. He slapped it one last time which nearly made you jolt off the bed.

“You weak fucking whore. You get a little overstimulated and you decide to cum,” he said.

You didn’t attempt to moan anything. He didn’t give you the chance to anyway. He grabbed the back of your head to push your mouth all the way on his dick. You couldn’t hold back your gag as he hit the back of your throat. You could feel the tears drip from your eyes to join your saliva in your hair.

You couldn’t even move back from it with the way he gripped your head. He had you exactly where he wanted you and where you wanted him to have you. In no more than a few seconds you felt his cum in your mouth. You coughed since it tickled the back of your throat. He soon pulled it out to look at you. You let out a few more coughs and some of his cum managed to leak out of the side of your mouth.

He didn’t ignore your little slip-up. He slapped you on your cheek as a response to wasting his cum. You took it with no complaint because you knew you were being bad for wasting his cum after you begged for it. You already disappointed him with disobeying his demand of you being quiet and now this. You were definitely in for some big trouble.

“What kind of fucking cum slut wastes cum?” He asked as he slapped you again.

“A bad one, sir,” you whimpered.

“Don’t beg for shit if you can’t fucking deliver,” he said with another slap to your cheek.

“I’m so sorry, sir. I promise I’ll be a good cum whore from now on, sir,” you begged.

He grabbed you by your hair and sat you up on the bed. He then yanked you off the bed with your still slightly shaky legs. You got off and he pulled you down to your knees so you were face to face with his dick.

“Apologize to it,” he said as he shoved your face into his pelvis.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“Sorry for what?” He asked.

“For wasting your cum,” you said.

He shoved your head down towards his balls. You assumed he wanted you to put them in your mouth to show how really sorry you were. You placed them in your mouth and sucked on them until a fresh pool of saliva escaped your mouth. He then pulled you away and forced you to look up at him. You could see this desire mixed with fury in his eyes. You could feel a tingle run down your spine again. If he could send chills down your spine with just a look he definitely owned you. You could have just melted into a pool with the way he looked as if he wanted to fuck his rage into you.

“Do you think you deserve punishment?” He asked.

“Yes, I do, sir. I’ve been such a bad cum slut,” you said.

He slapped you on the cheek with his free hand. “Don’t dare call yourself a cum slut until you can properly take cum. Fucking get up.”

He didn’t give you the chance to stand on your own two feet before he yanked you up by your hair. He pulled off your red babydoll lingerie dress and tossed it aside. He then threw your torso onto the bed, leaving your legs to be close to the floor. He pulled down your underwear and you stepped out of it. You felt him roughly squeeze your right ass cheek as if he was trying to find the right spot or the most tender part. You knew exactly what he was going to do and only a second later did he do it.

You let out a scream as he harshly spanked your right ass cheek. It stung so bad you knew it was going to leave some sort of bruise in the morning. He then did it again in the same spot. You screamed again as you tensed your right ass cheek from the pain. You knew his hand was in the air for a third one on the same spot so out of instinct you placed the back of your hand on the spot he hit. You could feel the heat radiating off from it.

“You fucking slut,” he said.

He grabbed your wrist and yanked it away from the spot he had hit. He then grabbed your other wrist and held them both together with his right hand. You turned your head to the left to see what he was going to do next. You saw him reach for his tie he had thrown on the bed and knew the chances of you using your hands for the rest of the night were slim.

He tied your wrists together as tightly as he possibly could. He made sure you weren’t able to interfere with his punishment any further. He yanked on his tie to see if it was tight enough. You knew they were tight enough just by the way they squeezed your wrists. They would definitely leave a mark once you were untied.

He noticed you looking at what he was doing. You immediately looked away so he wouldn’t think you were trying to overpower him in any way. You were genuinely curious as to what he was doing. You knew he wouldn’t accept that answer at all.

You felt his body closer to you as if he was leaning over you. You felt his teeth dig into your shoulder and you let out a short yelp. Then he did it again and again and again across your shoulder until he reached your ear. You bit your lip so you wouldn’t make another weak sound.

He grazed his lips on your ear. “This is exactly why a slut like you needs someone like me to keep you in line.”

You nodded your head still without looking at him. You felt his hand grab the back of your neck. He turned it so you had to face him. His eyes were low and his breathing was oddly calm and steady. You hadn’t even done much work but you knew you looked wild and untamed compared to him. Exactly how he loved you to look.

“Isn’t that right, slut?” He asked.

“Yes, sir,” you whimpered.

“You’re going to take your punishment and you’re going to fucking love it. Are we clear on that?” He asked.

“Yes, sir,” you said.

He leaned up and didn’t waste a second. You felt him spank the same spot for the fourth time. You buried your face into the sheets to prevent your scream from hitting his ears. He grabbed your hair and yanked it up.

“Say how much you fucking love it,” he demanded as he sparked the same spot.

“I fucking love it,” you screamed with tears stinging your eyes again.

“Keep saying it,” he said as he spanked the same spot again.

“I fucking love it. I fucking love it. I fucking love it. I fucking love it,” you repeatedly shrieked as he continued to spank the same spot.

He then let your hair go. You let your head fall onto the bed in silent relief. You breathed heavily into the sheets as you took the time to catch your breath. It didn’t even sting anymore. After the fifth time it almost became numb. Obviously your punishment wasn’t over though. He yanked your head up by his right hand this time.

“Next cheek,” he said.

His announcement was followed by a deafening spank on a fresh canvas. You bit your lip hard as you tried not to scream. You let your tears freely escape your eyes as he did it again.

“I fucking love it. I fucking love it,” you repeated as he spanked you repeatedly.

“That’s what a fucking cum slut should act like. Pathetic and desperate,” he said as he spanked you again.

“I’m a pathetic fucking cum slut,” you screamed as he spanked you again.

He yanked your hair. “And what are you fucking desperate for?”

“Your cum in my pussy,” you screamed as he spanked you again.

He yanked you up so you were standing in front of him. He shifted your body so you were facing away from the bed. He yanked your hair back so you could see his face. By the way he looked at you, you knew it was time. You tried to refrain from smirking to avoid another round of spanks.

“You better make me fucking happy,” he said.

“I’m your fucking cum dump, sir. I won’t waste it again, I swear,” you said.

He then pushed you over so you were at a 90-degree angle. You had nothing supporting you by your legs and your back. Your hands were still tied and you had no bed to rest on. You knew this was his way of testing how committed you were to his need for you to be his willing cum slut.

He grabbed your ass and you let out a soft yelp from the sting that ran through your body. You waited in anticipation as you could feel his dick outside of your hole. You wanted to move back so bad to take him into you fully. You had to keep reminding yourself about the stinging of your ass to calm your desire for him to fuck you.

He cut you from your thoughts as he pushed you back onto his dick. You shrieked out of surprise as you felt his whole dick enter you. He kept pushing you back and forth instead of thrusting into you. It was a unique choice but a calculated move. He for sure wanted to test you and you weren’t one to make a mistake twice. It was hard keeping your balance as your stockings were sliding against the hardwood floor.

“Keep your fucking balance, slut,” he demanded.

“Yes, sir,” you moaned.

You straightened yourself up as you continued to let him use you in the way he pleased. You could hear him making slight groaning sounds which you hadn’t heard all night. You just knew he was in love with the way his dick felt in you. You started to think he realized how good of a cum slut you could be with a pussy like yours. Your mouth could use a bit more work but he could never complain about the way your pussy hugged his dick so well.

“Your pussy sounds as if it’s ready for cum,” he said.

You took the time to hear the way your pussy sounded when his dick went in and out of you. You smiled at the sound of it. He then sped up the pace. Nothing but his groans, your moans and the sound of your juices sounded the room.

“My slut pussy wants your cum in me,” you moaned.

He continued to move you back and forth on his dick at a rapid pace to what you guessed was to come to his finish. Your legs started to wobble and become unstable as his strokes made you unbalanced. You arched forward as the pleasure of him fucking you was taking over your whole body.

He smashed you against him all the way. You shrieked at the thrill of having his dick all the way in you. You didn’t even care about the sting you felt when your ass hit his body. He grabbed your hair to pull you all the way up so your body was against his. He pulled your hair back so you could look at him again.

He placed his mouth against your neck to bite it. You moaned loudly in satisfaction and widened your eyes as you felt him full you with his cum. You bit your lip as he slowed down his pace to gently fuck his cum into you.

“Let’s see how good your slut pussy took my cum,” he said into your neck.

He pulled out his dick from you and reached down to rub his finger up your pussy. You shivered at his touch and let out a soft moan as he inspected. He brought his finger up so you both could see how well you did. There was a little bit of cum on his fingers. You eagerly opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out. He gave in to your eagerness by glazing his cum on your tongue.

You gladly took his cum into your mouth. You made sure to show him how happy you were to have his cum in your mouth again. You wanted him to know you wouldn’t dare waste another drop of his cum. You opened your mouth to show him every trace of his cum was gone.

“Now that’s how a cum slut takes cum,” he said.

“Does that mean I can always be your cum slut, sir?” You asked.

“You have major potential, slut,” he said.

He used his other hand to grip the side of your cheeks. He squeezed them hard enough for you to open your mouth. He spit into your mouth. He let go of your face and watched you swallow his spit. You opened your mouth to show him you could swallow more than cum to make him happy.

“I’m dedicated to being your personal cum slut,” you said.

“I love to hear that, slut. I can’t wait to use you again,” he said.

“Maybe another day though. I think I overworked you tonight,” he said.

He let your hair go as he backed up from you. He untied your wrists and you could feel the circulation back in your hands. You watched him go over to the chair and pick up the bouquet of roses. He looked back at you with a gentle smile but still had lust glazing over his eyes. He walked over to you with the bouquet.

“For my favourite cum slut,” he said.

You smiled as you took the bouquet from him. He grabbed your face to pull you closer to him. He hit you with a huge, pleasure-filled kiss. It felt as if he waited to give you this kiss from the time he walked through the door. He backed away from you and leaned into your neck to kiss it.

“I know you wore that perfume for me. Don’t think I didn’t notice. I love a cum slut who cares about the little details for me,” he whispered in your neck.

“I would do anything for you, sir. Thank you for the flowers,” you said.

He leaned up from your neck to look at you. He grabbed your neck gently which brought a proud smile to your face. He grabbed your ass which caused you to yelp pathetically. It brought a smile to his face.

“There are also chocolate covered-strawberries in the kitchen for you. Eat up so you have the energy to be my cum slut again. I want to give your mouth a second chance,” he said.

“Thank you, sir. I promise I won’t disappoint this time,” you said.

He kissed you gently on the lips. “I love to hear that. Happy Valentine’s Day, slut.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, sir.”

—–

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @laneybobeczko-g @littlewierdalien @cynbx​ @calm-and-doctor​

[auroracalisto]

for the first time

summary: the reader finally sees her life in a new point of view, thanks to carlisle, who has helped her with her abusive husband, her baby girl luna, and her life in general.  

pairing: carlisle x female! married/widowed! abused! reader

word count: 1.6k words

warnings: female reader, married and eventually widowed reader, reader is abused by her husband, reader has the surname Wolf in this bc comedic reasons, reader has a child named Luna by said husband, mentions of murder, no depictions but carlisle definitely did the stabby stab (at least if that’s what you wanna assume he did), uhhh reader got them widow benefits by the end but that’s a story for another time, ALSO for some reason i put this in the year 2005 and it goes on to 2006/2007?  so this would technically be the same timeline as bella and edward meeting.  so first movie.  yes.  i love the technicalities of everything.  honestly didn’t mean for it to happen but it did so 

a/n: i have no words

Carlisle first had the honor of meeting you at your then-husband’s Christmas party.  It was December 20th, 2005.  Your child was most definitely due by the end of January.  You were quite literally glowing, and Carlisle believed you were the most beautiful thing he had seen in some time.  However, most of the beauty was because of your skill with makeup.  Without it, bruises galore would be revealed to the outside world, and your husband would not be too happy to find out that you showed off the newest shiner he gave to you. 

Even while pregnant, he did not care for your wellbeing.  Hell, he made it quite obvious that he would never care for the little girl growing in your midsection.  But even if he was a terrible prick, you decided to have this child.  Of course, maybe it would have been better for you to end the pregnancy early on.  However, a part of you didn’t want that.  A part of you wanted to have the baby and leave your husband.  Whichever order it came in would be fine.  But knowing now that it would be the latter made you nervous.  

The second time Carlisle saw you was in the middle of a grocery store, calming down your newborn baby.  Your husband had sent you out in the middle of February, just a month after giving birth.  You were alone, and everything was upsetting.  Your baby’s little cries caused your own tears to well up in your eyes.  

When the two of you made eye contact, you finally broke.  You didn’t want anyone to see you like that, and yet, here you were with your husband’s co-worker, crying in the middle of the bread aisle.  

“Mrs. Wolf, please.  Let me help you,” Carlisle softly said, leaving his buggy on the other side of you.  He came over, looking at your baby.  “I’ll get her to calm down.”

You took his word for it, allowing Carlisle to comfort your crying child.  “Please.  Don’t call me that.  [Your name] is fine.”

He watched you with soft eyes and nodded.  “And who is this?” he softly asked, looking down at the fussing infant.  Her eyes were shut and she never once had actual tears—one thing that never sat right with him was how babies couldn’t form tears until they were about two months old (sometimes even longer).  

“Luna,” you softly spoke, watching as your little girl started to calm down in his arms.  You sniffled softly, wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeve.  You should have been more careful, but you didn’t care at this point.  It was getting harder and harder to do this; if someone saw a bruise, someone saw a bruise.  

“That’s a beautiful name,” Carlisle spoke, looking back at you.  “She is very lucky to have you as a mother.”

By the third time Carlisle had properly talked to you, your husband had died.  Under mysterious circumstances, but he was gone.  And you couldn’t have been happier.  You had an idea of what had happened.  Especially when you once opened your eyes in the middle of the night to see a flash of blond hair.  But you drifted off back to sleep, not thinking anymore of it until the morning after when your husband was missing.  However, you never once said anything.  

Weeks after he had passed, you had hired a babysitter for the evening.  Carlisle’s two girls.  

And for once, you did not have to worry about the makeup covering your bruises.  In fact, you wore your makeup how you liked it instead of having to wear it to protect your dead husband.  You found yourself sitting in your car, in front of the hospital.  Alice had informed you that her adoptive father was currently at work—that he was constantly working, and he never once took a break.  

Maybe you should have just turned around.  Maybe you should have just left Washington, altogether.  But your legs started moving before you could stop them.  And once you saw Carlisle, you knew that you had to speak with him.  

You didn’t even have to say hello to him for the man to walk in your direction.  He smiled kindly at you, and you wanted to say something.  You desperately wanted to thank him for saving you, even if he never admitted it.  

But the words never found your tongue.  Your arms wrapped around the doctor, your face buried deep in his blue dress shirt and his white lab coat.  Carlisle had never been more grateful for not carrying his clipboard around.  He wrapped his arms around your body, holding you close.  

Although the two of you never said anything, one thing was clear; you were both grateful for each other’s existence.  Even if you lived vicariously through passing glances and thoughtful actions.  

Luna was nearly one by the time you decided enough was enough.  You were a widow, now.  You did not have to worry about what your husband would say.  And one thing was certain; the blond-haired doctor had your heart in more ways than one.  

He was so kind to you, always offering help and joyful smiles.  His conversations carried you through your long days and kept you awake at night as you thought of how you could tell him how you truly felt.  

But now, you knew enough was enough—you knew that you were not getting any younger, and neither was Carlisle (of course, because he was human—of course, you wouldn’t learn that until later).  You needed to talk to him.  You needed to take a course of action.  

You grabbed your keys, walking to your door.  Luna was babbling in her car seat.  You sat it down to get the door open, nearly jumping out of your skin when you saw Carlisle standing there, prepared to knock.  

He had a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a rather awkward smile.  

“My apologies... are you going somewhere?”

Your cheeks began to burn.  You sat your keys on the table beside your door, shaking your head.  “I was going to see you, actually.”

Luna giggled up at the man when he came into her line of vision.  She adored Carlisle.  

“Oh, that makes this easier then,” he let out a soft laugh, hesitantly holding out the flowers to you.  “These are for you.  I... I had asked Alice what your favorites were.  I hope you don’t mind.”

You smiled.  “No...  No, I don’t,” you said, clearing your throat.  You moved out of the doorway so that he could come into your house.  “I was hoping that.. well, I am hoping this now.  I’ve needed to talk to you.  For a while now.  I really, really need to just get this off my chest, you know?  I just—”

“—could I be of any assistance?” he chuckled softly.  “Perhaps I can find the words that you are searching for.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to keep your smile from forming.  “Carlisle, I’ve... loved you since before my husband died.  I know that for a fact, now.  And I... hope that you feel the same way.  About myself.  And Luna.  We’re a package deal, you know.”

He chuckled softly and nodded.  “I know that you are a package deal.  I... am very glad you feel that way, too.”

“Too?”

“Yes,” Carlisle smiled at you.  “I have loved you since the first time I have set eyes on you.”

You snorted out a laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.  “That long, huh?”

He just smiled, watching you with kind, golden eyes.  “There are many things I need to tell you, [Your name],” he said, finally shutting the front door behind of him.  He looked down at Luna and got her out of the carrier, especially when she happily reached for the man.  “Perhaps we can take this evening to talk?”

You smiled, nodding.  “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but yeah.  I’d like that.”

All of you made Carlisle’s beatless heart skip.  He could only hope that it was the opposite for you (he could definitely hear how fast your heart began to beat the closer he got to you).  Luna entertained herself with the buttons on Carlisle’s shirt while the two of you talked until she fell asleep against him.  

Perhaps it was that moment that you truly knew that you were in love with Carlisle.  No—that action only fortified your love for the man.  You knew you had loved him just as long as he had claimed to love you.  And for once, you were not afraid of what love could do. 

Because you believed you loved your deceased husband, you married him.  You slowly watched him become a horrible person.  And then you had Luna with him.  Of course, that was the one good thing that came out of him.  Perhaps the chance of meeting Carlisle as well.  

But you knew that now, the love you felt for Carlisle was as real as the infant in Carlisle’s arms.  And it would never burn like your last loveless love.  

For the first time, it felt like you were seeing yourself in a new light.  You were seeing everything from a different perspective.  And Carlisle allowed that.  Carlisle helped you find that.  

Even if he hadn’t have been there, you would have still found it.  However, you knew that he made it so much easier than it would have been.  

For the first time, you knew real love.  With Luna, and now with Carlisle.  

Despite everything that had happened to you, it seemed as though the universe was finally connecting the dots.  And you couldn’t wait to see what she was going to give you, next.  

[hizashis-lil-bunbun]

BNHA Valentine’s Day Headcanons!

Happy first day of February! Some of my Discord friends and I were brainstorming how different My Hero characters would celebrate Valentine’s Day. So let’s give ‘em a whirl! All characters are adults or aged up to be 18+ in these scenarios.

Big thanks to @varnienne, @emmappelle, @sweet-darling91, @donica95​, and @katsontherun for letting me bounce ideas off of them. 💖

⚠️MOSTLY FLUFF BUT THERE IS SOME NSFW AHEAD!⚠️

Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic)

SFW

Gotta start with my blonde bby. And the best way I can describe his ideal Valentine’s is BIG and LOUD!

He’s never been one shy away from telling you how he feels, but he’s especially talkative on V-Day. Going on and on about how lucky he is, how much he loves you, etc.

It’s love songs all day, baby! From blasting modern pop songs while he makes breakfast to sweet, old-fashioned tunes that he makes you slow dance with him to in the living room. He’s a true romantic (and a surprisingly good dancer to boot).

And he might even (re: definitely will) serenade you. The man is a musician after all! In fact, don’t be surprised if Hizashi wrote a song just for you.

As far as gifts go, Hizashi goes all out. He’s a hero and a celebrity, with the salaries to match. So you can expect a few big ticket items. Plus, he’s a good listener. If you ever mentioned something you needed/wanted/expressed interest in, chances are it will arrive wrapped up in red and pink paper on the day.

“Hey little listener! Remember how ya said you might wanna try painting? No? Well I turned the spare room into a studio for ya anyways! Maybe you can make me something to hang up at the station, yeah?”

But just because his gifts are expensive and flashy, that doesn’t mean he devalues your own. Hizashi will blubber and gush over anything you give him, from lavish luxuries to a something as simple as a homemade card. Loudly I might add. Make sure to have earplugs handy.

Unfortunately, one of the drawbacks of having a radio star as your partner is that he’ll most likely have to work on Valentine’s Day. It’s even worse if he had teach that day as well. So don’t count on any fancy dinners until after the 14th.

But if you tune into his station on the day (and you will), there will be at least three or four songs dedicated to “his favorite little listener.”

NSFW

Even if he can’t be with you on the actual night, he’s definitely going to make up for lost time. Mood music, candlelight, the whole nine yards. He wants to romance you. To make you feel as good as you make him feel everyday.

Oral and overstimulation are the name of the game, and Hizashi is a giver through and through. He’s happy as a clam once he’s got his face buried between your legs, making you cum for the umpteenth time that night. Seriously, does he ever come up for air?

Praise is also a big thing for him. It flows from his mouth like the sweetest wine. And with his quirk, every whispered word and groan against your body feels just as intoxicating. Good vibrations indeed.

He also loves it when you’re vocal. No love song can compete with the way you cry and moan under his touch. He’ll make you sing for him all night long and into the morning hours.

“Damn, baby. I love you so damn much. Love the way you look cumming on my tongue. Think you can do it again?”

Eijiro Kirishima

SFW

Okay. This boy adores Valentine’s Day! Like it’s his favorite holiday.

And how can he not? Everything in the stores is red! He can stock up on red merchandise for the rest of the year in the span of a week. And believe me, he does.

This means his partner should expect a lot of the cliché gifts on the big day: teddy bears, heart-shaped boxes, and red roses to name a few. Oh, and he’s definitely got a stockpile of cheesy, punny Valentine cards centered around his and his friend’s hero personas.

His favorite is the one that says “I think you’re a Red Riot! Be my Valentine?” But maybe that’s partially because it came from you.

Kirishima doesn’t just shower you with crimson trinkets; he buys treats for everyone! Especially his closest friends. To him, Valentine’s is all about showing the people he loves most just how much he cares. And it’s honestly adorable to see him practically bouncing off the walls in excitement when he finds a little red treasure for this year’s celebration.

“Babe! Look at that red shark plushie. It looks just like me! So manly!”

*proceeds to buy seven of them: one for him, one for you, and one for everyone in the Bakusquad + Tetsutetsu*

But at the end of the day, once all the chocolates and stuffed animals have been given away, he’ll make sure you know there’s no one he loves more than you. He spends the final hours alone with you, eating a home cooked meal and cuddling on the couch. Times like these are his favorite, just being to hold you close and appreciate your presence in his life.

Fair warning though. You’ll probably end up watching some some cheesy romcom, cuz he loves those too.

NSFW

Of course, the red theme continues in the bedroom: red rose petals, red sheets, even a set of red lingerie he bought just for the occasion. Which he proceeds to rip apart minutes after you’ve gotten them on. Hope they weren’t too expensive.

Kirishima tries to be gentle with you, he really does. Savoring your pleasure and letting your orgasms crest and fall naturally. He wants to see you cooing and boneless by the end of the night.

But sometimes he underestimates his own strength and gets a little rougher than expected. Maybe he gives too sharp of a love bite, or squeezes your hips a little too hard. But it’s all done out of passionate love, so you don’t mind too much.

You might actually prefer it if he gets a little rougher.

However, if you wanna get kinky, there is one thing Kiri’s always down for: pulling you over his knee for a good, old-fashioned spanking. His quirk is perfect for it, hardening the palm of his hand just before it smacks down on the soft flesh. It’s like he has a set of built-in paddles. Trust me, if you let him get into a good rhythm, by the end of the night your ass will match the Valentine’s decor perfectly.

“Not pushing you too hard am I, beautiful? I know I can be unbreakable sometimes, but I never want to break you. I love you too much to do that.”

Mirio Togata

SFW

TBH, before he met you, Mirio was a bit of a player (which is kinda canon). Like “has a different date every year” player.

And can you blame him? He’s a total heartbreaker with that (le)million dollar smile and those baby blue eyes. He got so much Valentine’s chocolate from girls in high school, it was sickening! But with you, things are different.

For starters, he’s not so big on material gifts. Giving or receiving.

“How could I want anything more when I’ve got my sunshine right here?”

No, this sweet himbo is all about making memories with his partner! Sharing experiences and spending as much quality time together as possible.

So he plans everything days, sometimes weeks, in advance. Budgeting his time and money to squeeze as much love into a single day as humanly possible.

The moment you wake up on February 14th, he hits the ground running. Quite literally! He’s practically doing laps around your bedroom in his excitement to get the day started.

Valentine’s Day with Mirio turns out to be a marathon of couple activities. Bike riding to a local café for breakfast. Sight-seeing in Tokyo followed by ice cream in the afternoon. He even manages to sniff out a carnival for you to go to in the evening, letting you run amok on the rides and games. And yes, he definitely spends too much money trying to win you one of those giant stuffed animals.

By the end of the day, you’re thoroughly spent and just want to snuggle up next to him. And maybe have a late night snack of chocolate. Mirio is more than happy to indulge you, even offering to carry you home. Anything to be close to his precious sunshine.

NSFW

Despite your sleepiness and aching feet, Mirio insists he has one last surprise to give you. So he asks you to lay face-down on the bed and wait for him. Naked of course.

Once he finds what he’s looking for, he straddles your tailbone with his thighs and squirts something slippery onto your back. You yelp at the cold sensation and that earns a laugh from Mirio. He tells you it’s massage oil. One specifically designed to relieve muscle tension.

It’s like he knew you’d be sore after his day of non-stop adventuring. Almost like he planned it... What a smooth criminal.

It makes sense though. Maybe it’s because his quirk requires him to pass through things, but physical touch is his primary love language. Nothing grounds him quite like having you in his arms, worshiping every inch of your body.

He works you over, kneading at the muscles in your back, hips, and legs with steady pressure and prescision. He even rubs your feet, making the earlier pains melt away into bliss.

You’re almost too sleepy and relaxed to realize one of his hands is creeping up your body until it’s too late. Next thing you know, he’s curling his fingers into you, amplifying the pleasure of the massage in a new way. Like I said, Mirio’s a smooth criminal when he wants to be.

“Feeling good, sunshine? Yeah, I’ll bet you are. You always look so cute like this... just makes me want to kiss you all over. Maybe I will! But I think you’re still a little tense right... here.”

[xpeachesncream]

hi my dearest nikki <3, for Valentines season, Idk if someone already requested this but I wanted a Tae x y/n vacation somewhere abroad with some spicy steamin' lovemaking and a marriage proposal perhaps? hahaha i am forever in love with these two and your playlist in PW is my everyday playlist,just a tmi :)

perfectly wrong | drabble [12]: when the love is real, and right.

word count: 2.7k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, sweet taehyung, unprotected soft sex as you try and cater to your man, straddling, some breast play, nothing too bad really - this drabble is meant to be cute af! (highly recommend music linked above lol)

note: imma make ya’ll cry with this one. lmfao, jk 😂 please don’t cry! happy valentines, loves! you are all beautiful and strong ❤️ you’ve come so far, please don’t ever give up! keep on keepin’ on, baby! i’ll always be here rooting for you!

update: please read this announcement!

School graciously provided another week of freedom in February, which so happened to fall right by Valentine's day. You were excited to relax and sleep in, be lazy with Taehyung and do absolutely nothing.

Except, not. Because all of a sudden, your man is rushing into your apartment, telling you to pack your things so you could make it in time for your flight later that evening.

"We gotta go, love." He pulls the luggage out of your closet and starts throwing your undies and bras from your drawer into it.

"Taehyung, please. What are you doing?" You looked over your covers, too lazy to move and do anything about it right now. You watched as he started rummaging through your pajamas and your socks, for whatever reason. "Tae, hello?"

"Come on, you need to pack. We have a flight to catch."

"Says who?"

"Says me." He smiles toothlessly, his bread cheeks poking out from either of his face as he holds up two airline tickets. Because you have terrible eyesight, you can't even make out the destination on the tickets and you don't even try to. It would be useless.

"Where are we going? I thought we were just going to stay home all week."

"I mean, that's always nice, but I saw that flights were cheap so I just bought 'em."

"So you just bought 'em? Really?"

"Miss girl, I don't have time to answer all of your questions right now. I can do that on the flight." He tilts his head and starts motioning for you to get up. "Come on, pretty please? It'll be worth it, I promise." You slightly whine, but you get up anyways and start to get ready for whatever this was. You throw on some comfy sweats and Taehyung's hoodie, then begin to pack your things. He says it's a tropical area [but 'not really,' he also says?], it's mainly humid and you'll be going into the water majority of the time. So, you pack a few bathing suits, a few light kimono type cardigans, shorts, crop tops and light jackets and call it a day. You've left whatever pajamas, underwear, socks and bras Taehyung had throw into your luggage cause at this point, you've learned that he does pay attention to what you pack and bring along.

And so that's what happened before you found yourself in a 1-bedroom Villa overlooking the ocean in Disney Aulani 8 hours later. You began to think this was planned all along, being that Taehyung had snagged a fancy room, with an ocean view and a fat bouquet of roses just waiting for you on the king-sized bed. Happy was an understatement.

Taehyung had made sure your entire week was filled with things to do, being that you both didn't know when you could go back to Hawaii like this. He rented out a jeep, driving you around the entire island of Oahu within the week's time, sight seeing, taking tons of pics together, stopping at food trucks, shopping small towns, and pulling random, small hikes together. He even made sure to take you to the Dole Plantation so you could grab that dole whip you had been raving about for so long and to the flea market to grab tons of cheap, fun souvenirs. He knew just what you liked, and he knew what would make you happy. He was happy to see you happy. Some days also were more lowkey, where you'd spend it at the various pools in Aulani's backyard, going snorkeling or paddle boarding, or even just going down the street at the ABC Convenience Store to binge on the cheap hot food [like $2 spam masubis!] and milk tea.

If it was easy to just snap your fingers and live somewhere else with Tae, it would be right here. Days moved so slowly on the island and you loved every minute of it. People really appreciated taking things slow here. Just imagining your life with Taehyung on an island like Oahu was *chef's kiss* - imagining your man in his shorts and fluffy hair in a loose shirt, waking up to the sounds of the beach every day. God damn. You truly loved him, and you'd go anywhere with him.

And Taehyung felt the same exact way, which is why he had one last thing planned before it was time to head back.

He had gone downstairs to grab some things as he says, but he had asked you to get dressed so he could take you on a fancy, romantic dinner. He had thrown on some slacks and a button up short-sleeved shirt tucked in, his curls messy but also not? Whatever you call it, he was fine as hell and you wanted nothing but to eat him up. Truthfully. You sat on the couch in a simple black, off the shoulder, mesh-like dress, which Taehyung also wanted nothing but to eat you up with the way you were swaying your hips in that dress. On everything, he almost wanted to call dinner quits just so he could have you instead.

But, he needed to stick to the plan for specific reasons. You sat on the couch, flipping through the channels when Taehyung had walked in and straight into the room. He had something tucked under his arm but you couldn't figure out what else he was fiddling with in his hands. Then, you heard him on the phone, faintly responding behind the walls with a 'sounds good, thank you!' before he opened the room door with a smile on his face.

"Ready for dinner?"

"Sure, weirdo." You laughed as you walked towards him, getting on your tippytoes to plant a kiss on his lips. He took your hand and led you inside the room, only for you to see the balcony lit with candles and a table for two set up, with a simple rose in the middle as decoration and soft music playing in the background. You had placed your hand over your mouth, speechless as to how he even did this right under your nose.

The best part [besides Tae himself] was the view of the ocean with the sun slowly setting in front of you.

"Welcome to Maison de Taehyung." He giggled with that deep, nerdy giggle of his that you love so much, making you playfully shove him away. Before you could make your way to the balcony, there was a knock on the door. Taehyung had welcomed Room Service in, allowing them to wheel in the food to the balcony and set the rest of the finishing touches before leaving you both to your privacy.

"Baaaaabe." You whined, almost in tears. He pulls you close, his large hands cupping your cheeks as he plants a kiss on your forehead. Your nose. Your lips. The butterflies.

He leads the way, pulling out your chair before sitting himself down. The food was amazing, the main course being a specialty the chef had whipped up just for Taehyung pulling his charm downstairs with the front desk. Typical Tae, really. You didn't need dessert, being that the main dish was super filling, but you ate it anyways because fuck it - you're in Hawaii with the love of your life and it was a bomb ass chocolate cake. You don't skip on that.

You sit on the bed as room service is quickly cleaning out the balcony, taking the plates and the table cloth along with them. You were full and satisfied, and you couldn't wait to just be in bed in Tae's arms. Dinner was special because not only did you get to eat this food with that view, but you got to talk to Tae about everything and anything. He indulged in every minute of it, giving you his undivided attention while the colors of the sunset bounced off of your skin. He loved you more than you even knew. He loved that he was here with you, and that you had taken a chance on him because this is where he wanted to be. This is the life he wanted, and this is the person he wanted to share it with.

"I'll be right back, baby."

"What are you up to now?" You giggled.

"Mmm, it's probably best you just wait." You nod silently as you watch him walk out of the room.

You stepped out into the balcony again in hopes of Tae joining you when he gets back, getting the last few bits of the sun right before it sunk into the horizon. Your phone began to buzz in your hands, signaling a call coming in.

"Jeon Jungkook." You answer his facetime call.

"Let me see Hawaii."

"You're too late, the sun literally just went down." He clicks his teeth.

"Maaaan. I would have liked an invite."

"Don't get mad at me fool, I didn't even know we had a flight until Taehyung busted into my room trying to pack my things." He laughs.

"What a guy."

"What do you want?"

"Jeez, that's no way to talk to your bestfriend."

"I'm on vacation, you should be lucky I didn't send your ass to voicemail. What do you want?"

"I just wanna talk to you guys. I'm bored."'

"Where's Hobi and Yoongs?"

"Being boring at their own homes."

"Jin?"

"Cafe."

"Jimin and Namjoon?"

"Jimin is home, Namjoon is downtown."

"Then sucks to suck, loner."

"You're a real piece of work, even in Hawaii." You laugh. "Where's Tae?"

"I don't know, he ran off again. He's been busy trying to surprise me with things left and right."

"Has he now?" Jungkook bites his bottom lip, knowing full well what's about to happen next. The whole reason Taehyung stepped out was to call him and calm his nerves. Was this Taehyung's bestfriend, or yours?

"Yeah, he's the best." You say, smiling to yourself as you fiddle with the top portion of your dress. You hear the front door close, assuming Taehyung had gotten back from whatever he was doing. "Uh, I think he's back, I should--"

"No, can't you just talk to me for like 5 minutes, Y/N?"

"Why are you so needy?" You chuckled.

"I just told you I was bored. I wanna say hi to Tae."

"Well when he comes here, I'll let you say hi."

"What else did you guys do today?"

"Uh, we took it pretty easy and played around at the beach."

"Cute."

"Baby, can you help me find something?" You hear Taehyung's voice right behind you.

"Sure." You say, keeping your eyes on Jungkook, who's chuckling to himself. You furrowed your brows at the camera. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Go help him."

"Okay, hold on." You say, putting the phone down by your hip. You turned, only to jump back in surprise. "Taehyung!" You gasped, your hand over your mouth. Taehyung had been behind you the whole time, his 100 watt smile shining as he bent down on one knee, holding out a small case that held a fancy diamond ring.

"Look, you know I'm pretty bad with speeches but I think you already know how you make me feel. I just, I--" He did a slight head tilt as he chuckled and took another deep breath. "I really, really love you, Y/N. It's always been you. You've become my better half and I truly can't see my life without you." You begin to cry heavily, forgetting Jungkook is still hanging on to dear life by your hip. It all makes sense now.

Why the hell would Jungkook call you at this time?

"Will you spend the rest of your life with me?" He asks, tears welling up in his eyes watching you cry in front of him. Your words can't escape your mouth because you really don't even know what to say. You're speechless, and you didn't even expect this to happen right at this moment. You knew you loved him, and you knew you were set with him. But to have him propose on a night like this in Hawaii? Unbelievable.

You nod and he shakily slips the ring onto your ring finger before you wrap your arms around his neck tightly as he hugs you. You pulled back to kiss him, only to be startled by all the screaming coming from your phone. Taehyung laughs as he holds you and watches you bring the phone back up to your view, seeing Jimin, Namjoon, Hobi, Yoongi and Jin all in one frame with Kook.

"You fucking liar!" You yell at Kook, making him laugh his loud, elmo laugh.

"We love youuuuuuuuu!" Jimin yells from his position, with Jin blowing kisses into the frame.

"You planned this all along." You turn and say to Taehyung softly. He just nods and shrugs, making you bite your bottom lip as to how attractive he was for pulling all of this shit right under your nose. "I'm gonna have to call you guys back later."

"Ooooooh, ew." Yoongi says before you abruptly hang up the call and jump into Tae's arms.

He brings you into the room, you tossing your phone onto the dresser, causing Taehyung to laugh into the kiss. He sits on the edge of the bed as you grip his face softly, your tongues fighting each other for dominance as the kiss intensifies. You feel his hands start to unzip your dress from the back, causing you to bite his bottom lip and gently pull back. He lets out a small moan as he fiddles with the rest of your zipper and successfully gets the dress to fall from your shoulders, exposing your breasts from underneath. You arch your back slightly, allowing Taehyung to plant kisses down your neck and to your breasts, using his tongue to toy with each nipple one by one. He sucks on it gently, pulling back with a pop before he blows onto them, goosebumps rippling through your body. You quickly unbutton his shirt as he's kissing your neck, causing you to let out a small hiss feeling his tongue against your skin.

It doesn't take long before both of your clothes are scattered across one side of the room, Tae holding you close as you continue to straddle him. You grind your hips into his, feeling his hardened member rub against your throbbing pussy.

"Fuck." He whispers. "I can feel how wet you are." You bite onto your bottom lip as you position yourself onto his hardened member and slowly sink yourself down. You watch as his head tilts backwards, eyes shut while his mouth is slightly opened to let out a moan. You began to slowly rock your hips into his, his arms wrapping tightly around you. You loved feeling his warm skin against yours and his strong arms holding you close. "Baby." He moans. "God, I love you." He says as you start to pick up your pace, rocking your hips a little  quicker.

"Nnnnng--Tae." You let out a breathy moan, tilting your head back in pleasure. Your back slightly arches along with it, allowing Tae to let his hands roam up your back while he kissed you softly along your chest, down to your stomach and back up to your breasts. He loved every bit of you, and he wanted to show you. Every. Single. Inch.

"If you keep moving like that, you're gonna make me cum." He whispers, nibbling onto your earlobe while his hands guide you, pushing you to ride him faster. In which, you do. You grant your man's wishes and pick up the pace quite a bit. The least you could do is cater to him after what he's done for you this week. He's moaning your name, calling you baby and whispering how special you are to him in your ear, making it incredibly difficult for you to keep holding on while he does so. "You're so beautiful."

"Babe, I'm close." Your nose is touching his, his eyes locked onto yours. "Fuck, babe. I'm gonna cum." You whine the more your hips are working his cock. You feel every inch of him inside of you, tickling your core enough to send you hurdling over the edge in a matter of minutes. "Ohhhh, fuck!" You yell, your body tensing up as he holds you close with your hands tangled in his hair. It's not long before he fills you up, your walls pulsating around his member being the cherry on top for him.

"Mmmmmshit! Baaaaby." He elongates his moan, no other noises coming out of him as the sensation completely takes over his body. You wrap your arms around his neck while regulating your breathing, his member beginning to soften within you.

"I love you." You whisper in his ear.

"I love you too, fiancé." He says, causing you to giggle as he places a kiss on your shoulder before allowing you to get up and get cleaned up.

So, we're really doing this thing, huh?

This thing called life with Kim Taehyung.

Absolutely, yes. 100%. 

You'd do it over and over again, just as long as he was by your side.

[mochegato]

Hope on Board

Chapter 4 – Acing the Test by Not Preparing Properly    

Chapter 1     Chapter 3

“Are you under the impression the third test might give you a different result?” Adrien asked with a strained amusement.

“We’ve seen stranger things,” Marinette spared a glance from the test on the counter in front of her to glare at him.  “And if I was in any way lucky,” this time she glared at Tikki who shrunk away behind Adrien while Plagg cackled at her, “it would.”

She returned her attention to the test only to give an aggravated yell.  “Son of a bitch!”  She grabbed the edge of the bathroom counter to support her as she folded over gasping for breath.

Adrien nodded thoughtfully. “It might be.”

She turned her head to glare at him.  “Are you kidding me!  Really?” He gave her a sheepish shrug even as he grimaced.  She groaned and collapsed on the floor, leaning against the wall and pulling her knees into her chest.  The distant thought occurred to her that she wasn’t going to be able to do that for much longer.  She wasn’t going to be able to do a lot of things for much longer.  God, how could she be so stupid.  She pulled her hair in frustration.

She was just starting up her business.  She had just entered into a partnership that was supposed to last at least two years. How was she going to manage the project if she was throwing up and had to take months off to take care of the baby? What if there were complications? How was she going to take care of the baby?  How was she going to support a baby if her business failed?  But how was her business going to succeed if she was focusing on making sure her baby had the attention they deserved.

She was broken from her spiraling thoughts by a weight across her shoulders.  She turned her head, still letting it rest on her knees, to look at Adrien.  He reached over to wipe away the tears she only then realized she had been crying. “It’ll be okay, Bugaboo.  There are options if you don’t want the baby and if you do, there are options.”

She gave him a weak smile, keeping her head on her knees for a few more moments before switching to lay her head on his shoulder.  “How am I supposed to get my company up and running and raise a baby on my own?  It takes so much time, both of them.  I’m half a world away from my family and most of our friends, fresh out of school, starting a business, entering a new partnership, which might get reneged if I can’t fulfill the requirements, and all alone. How do I do this?”

Adrien hugged her closer. “You’re not alone, Princess.  I’ll be right by you every step of the way. Even when you tell your parents.”

She gave a halfhearted laugh. “Yeah, that’s going to be a bloodbath.”

Adrien rested his head on hers.  “No it won’t. Do you have any idea how excited your Dad is going to be about being a grandfather?  They’re going to be worried about you.  They’ll have the same concerns for you that you do.  They won’t be mad.”

“The father might be,” she hedged.

Adrien was silent for a moment.  “You’re going to tell him?”

“I think he deserves to know. This baby might have a loving family nearby.  I don’t want to take that away if it is available.”  Her voice was starting to get stronger.  This was a decision she could control.  She could control whether she invited the father to be a part of their lives.  She couldn’t control his answer, but she could control the ask.

“You’re not worried about the weapons?” Adrien asked carefully.

“I am.  But Tikki is right, it could be an innocent explanation. I owe it to him to have the chance to explain.”

Adrien nodded, determination settling in his eyes.  “Okay, we tell him.”

“We?” she asked with an amused smile.

“We,” he confirmed.  “I said you weren’t going to do this alone. I meant it.  I’ll be there to support you.  I’ll help you find him and stay nearby when you tell him, if you want me to.”  He squeezed her again.  “So, what do you remember about where he lives?”

“It had a kitchen with weapons, a living room with a comfortable couch, and a bedroom with a bed that didn’t squeak,” she deadpanned.

He shot her a playful glare. “You can’t remember anything?”

“I remember… it was a door in the middle of a long corridor of doors on a floor a few floors up in a building in Gotham.”

“Oh that’s helpful.”

“I don’t know!” She threw her hands up in exasperation.  “I was still drunk and panicked and swung away as Ladybug so I don’t even have stores I passed to go off of.”

“What do you remember, for real this time?”

She turned to stare at a point in the distance, trying to focus her mind and order her thoughts. What did she remember?  Not much.  She had flashes.  She remembered the feelings he stirred in her.  She smiled nostalgically as she described her memories.  “A smile, a touch, his eyes looking soft and sweet. The feeling of being watched out for, of being wanted, more than just physically.”

Adrien gave a long suffering sigh and collapsed his legs to the bathroom floor.  “Well that’s helpful to track him down.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and pushed him away.  “You asked what I remembered.  I didn’t even remember his name on my own.”  She groaned and hit her head against the wall behind her.  “Why did you let me go home with him?  You were supposed to be my voice of reason!”

“You said you were sure. You said it was cosmic intervention… I think.”  He rubbed his head as phantom pains returned.  “You remember more about that night than I do.”

She groaned again, this one taking a whinier tone than the previous groans.  “That was the sixth drink and eighth shot talking.”

“Well your eighth shot was very convincing to my ninth shot.”

“And how could I have not used a condom?  I couldn’t possibly have been that far gone that I didn’t demand protection.  Could he…” her body stilled, her mind froze as a horrifying thought occurred to her, “…could he have not used one?  And said he did?”

Adrien grimaced.  “Or he was drunk and thought he did.  Or thought you said not to.  Not that you did!  Just that he was really drunk and misinterpreted!” He rushed to add upon seeing her reaction to the suggestion.

“No, you used a condom,” Tikki offered quietly.  “Just not the whole time.”

Marinette’s head whipped to her.  “Okay, first, ew!  Why do you know that!  Were you watching?”

“No!” Tikki exclaimed indignantly.  “But voices carry, especially when they are very loud.” She gave Marinette a pointed look.

Marinette eyed her suspiciously but continued, “Second, what does that mean?”

Tikki sighed dejectedly. “It means you did stuff before you put it on.  And if you’re particularly lucky, that’s enough.”

“Oh my God,” Adrien muttered absentmindedly.

“Oh my God!” Marinette yelled, realization setting in.

“Yeah, I bet Tikki heard that a lot that night too,” Plagg cackled.

All three eyes shot to him in a glare that did nothing to diminish his laughter.

“You mean I’m pregnant because I’m Ladybug?  Because I was wearing the earrings?” Marinette whisper screeched.

“Not… entirely… but, it influenced it.  You’re the wielder of Creation.  It’s going to increase your chances of the right things happening in the right order to create life.  But you two are the ones who didn’t wear a condom for the whole act, allowing semen to be present and you two are the ones who gave each other multiple orgasms, which helped move the semen into the right position.  You very much could have gotten pregnant without any miraculous intervention.”

Marinette’s mouth hung open and her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.  “Multiple orgasms, huh?” Adrien asked waggling his eyebrows.

“Judging by the screaming, I’d say both of them were highly proficient,” Tikki nodded in confirmation.

“Oh my God,” Marinette whispered into her hands covering her face.  “This is a nightmare.  Not only am I pregnant, I have to hear this.  I cannot get a break.”

Adrien shrugged.  “It could be worse.  It could have been bad.”

“It doesn’t really matter if I couldn’t remember it,” Marinette pointed out.

“Yeah, but next time you’ll remember it,” he pointed out.

“If there is a next time,” Marinette sighed.

“There will be,” Adrien reassured her.  “It was cosmic intervention.  It will bring you back together again.”

Marinette shook her head and rested it on his shoulder with her eyes closed.  “I wish I was as optimistic as you.”

“It will all work out eventually.  Until then, you have commissions to finish before the gala, including your dress. You need to look impeccable so we can network for your company.”

Marinette groaned and dropped her legs to the ground.  “Can’t I just fall apart for one minute, please?”

“Nope.  You need to get back to work doing something you love and can focus on.  If it happens to be something that calms you as well?  Well that’s just good for you and the baby.  Come on,” he stood up and offered her his hand to help her up, “you start working and I’ll go out and get some pregnancy supplies for you.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I think you’re more excited about this than I am.”

“You’re going to have a baby! You have a little bug in the oven! If you don’t break it to your dad with a pun, he and I will be so disappointed,” he gave her a mock stern look before pulling her into a comforting embrace.  “You’re going to be ecstatic about this, too, once the shock wears off.  I know you and I know you’re going to be an amazing mom,” he whispered with a kiss to the top of her head.  “And I’m going to be the fun uncle that he, she, or they gets really excited to hang out with and takes them for ice cream and he comes to whenever she has problems they can’t go to you about.” He gave her an excited smile as he thought about the future.

“Now move.  The gala’s coming up in just a few weeks and you have a ton of work to finish and you’re going to be panicking about letting Tim down and you’re not going to be able to chug coffee and energy drinks anymore.”  

Marinette emitted a woeful, agonized moan that even the neighbors heard.

Chapter 5

Tags:

@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness

[therealvalkyrie]

What Could’ve Been Without the War

Pairing/setting: Jean Kirschtein x Female!Reader, modern!AU within the Walls, set after the War; canon divergent w/ modern tech

Summary: You and Jean embark on your weekly trip to the grocery store.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: equal parts angst and fluff, idiots to idiots, mutual pining, unsatisfying ending (i’m so sorry)

AN: Surprise Jean! I hope you are all having a wonderful Friday evening and that I don’t ruin it too much with angst. This piece started out as a super fluffy drabble involving grocery store shenanigans and kinda....uh....got away from me. Ahem. It was also originally intended as a 157 follower cool prime number thank you! I think we’re up to 180-something now, but we can still count it. Big thanks yet again to the love of my life @ghostlightprincess for her edits and encouragements:) Please come let me know what you think in my DMs/askbox/comments!!  ~valkyrie

Jean opens on the third knock on his apartment door, already shrugging on a jacket. He greets you with a short “hi” and receives the kiss you plant on his cheek out of habit.

“You ready?” You’re practically bouncing on the balls of your feet, car keys jingling off of the magenta key ring looped around your finger. It’s cute, and he finds himself matching your enthusiasm with a grin of his own.

“Almost,” he replies, reaching back to his coat rack to grab a scarf. “Honestly, I still don’t understand why you’re always so excited for the grocery store.”

He looks back to catch you rolling your eyes. “I don’t understand why you’re not. A grocery store is a magical place, with all of the cheesecake and ice cream you could ever wish for!”

He chuckles and joins you in the hallway, leaning down to lock his door behind him. “Need I remind you that you’re lactose intolerant?”

“That’s what Lactaid is for, stupid. Come on!” He lets you pull him down the hall, your small gloved hand in his big one. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Croft!” you greet his elderly neighbor as you pass her open door, sticking your head in with a wide smile. “You need anything from the store? Jean and I are just on our way.”

Jean stands beside you awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with his shrewd neighbor. You haven’t let go of his hand and he can feel a blush working its way up his neck. 

“No, that’s alright, honey, I just went this morning.”

“Okay! Well, let us know if you think of anything!”

“Thank you, dear.”

“Have a good afternoon, ma’am,” Jean chips in as you wave. 

“You kids have fun.”

The next second, you’re pulling him away again and he misses the way Mrs. Croft chuckles knowingly and looks back to her knitting. 

—

“What’s next on the list?” Your voice drifts down the aisle back to him, and Jean pauses in pushing the cart to shuffle the papers in his hands. 

“Umm… AP flour, vanilla extract,” shuffle, shuffle, “brown sugar, olive oil, yeast.”

You hum in acknowledgment and he watches as you flit from shelf to shelf, gathering items in your arms. He pushes the cart up to join you.

You dump everything in haphazardly, and he sighs, leaning down to straighten it all out into categories.

“What’s next?” You’re already halfway down the rest of the aisle again, gazing up longingly at the Oreos on the top shelf.

God, she’s cute.

He joins you, reaches up to pluck a pack of Double Stuf off of the shelf, and wordlessly places it in your section of the cart, suppressing a smile of his own as you grin up at him.

“You sure know how to treat a girl right, Jean-bo.” You reach up to ruffle his mullet. 

“Don’t call me that,” he grumbles, ducking away and flushing red like a smitten schoolboy. “Next is the frozen aisle.”

—

“Was it the lasagna that she liked last time? Or the shepherd’s pie?”

“The lasagna.” He accepts three frozen dinners as you pass them over from where you’re leaning past the glass freezer door.

“Hey,” he looks up sharply at your soft call to see you staring down the aisle like you’ve seen a ghost, hand still holding the glass door open. He follows your gaze and sees him just as you say, “It’s Erwin.”

It’s not, but Jean’s heart twists all the same at the resemblance the stranger carries. Same neatly parted blonde hair, broad shoulders. But he’s shorter, still has both arms. And he’s alive. 

“It’s not, sweetheart,” he murmurs, reaching to wrap an arm around your shoulders.

“It is, look he—” you insist until the man turns and instead of the Commander’s piercing blue gaze you’re met with brown eyes that flick between you and Jean in confusion. “Oh.” Your face falls and you allow the door to close, turning into Jean’s side.

“You alright?” He tilts his head to catch your expression. It’s pure pain, mouth twitching into a frown and eyes unfocused. Your hand comes up to grip the bottom of his jacket, and after a second he can see you physically force your face back to neutral. 

“Fine,” you nod. He knows you’re faking, that it’s a survival tactic, so he lets it go for now, only steps back to let you in between his body and the cart. 

“Up you go,” he prompts you to step up, feet on the bottom shelf and hands clutching the bar. He starts to push as you ride, walking first then running down the aisle until you finally throw your head back and laugh genuinely. 

He misses the exasperated look an employee gives him as the pair of you whizz past, too preoccupied with your smile.

—

“What do you need three dozen eggs for, anyway?” you ask incredulously, nevertheless opening each carton to inspect before handing them over. 

“They’re a good source of protein,” he defends. “Plus, you always end up running out and coming to me to complain. Ran me dry last time.”

Another playful eye roll. “It’s only ‘cause I messed up my brownies! And I needed them to entice the landlord to finally fix my heater.”

“Your heater’s been broken?”

“Well, it’s not anymore. Espresso brownies work wonders, I’ll have you know.”

You’re trying to brush it off as you normally do when he worries, but the thought of you shivering and blue-lipped keeps him pushing. “How long did you not have heat for? It’s February!”

“Not the point, Jean-bo!” You poke at his cheek and twirl away towards the cheese. 

“It definitely is the point. Come to me next time and I’ll fix it.”

“And lose my deposit?” You scoff, reaching for mozzarella. “Fat chance.”

“Freeze, then.”

You grin back at him. “Why d’you think I came over so much last weekend?”

“Is that all I am to you? A hot water bottle in your time of need?” He feigns hurt, but some pride swells in his chest that he kept you warm, after all. 

“And a cute one, at that. Think fast!”

His hand flashes up to catch the mozzarella you toss deftly. 

“You wound me.”

“Eh, builds character. What’s next?”

Shuffle, shuffle. “Wine and flowers.”

—

Jean watches as you bounce in the driver’s seat, hands almost dainty on the wheel, leaning forward to stare resolutely out the windshield at the darkening road. You’re singing along to some song he doesn’t know that’s playing from the stereo.

It’s so familiar, this Saturday evening ritual with you, and it wraps Jean up like the softest blanket. He knows why you’re always so excited about grocery shopping, and it’s not the cheesecake — it’s the way this routine has centered itself in both your lives. He feels it too, the semblance of normalcy, of domesticity, that you’ve cobbled together with him in between hard weeks and harder nights.

You navigate the bends and odd intersections of his old suburban neighborhood with ease, having driven to his house maybe thousands of times since you were teens. The elementary school passes, then the vet clinic, until finally, your old black sedan pulls into his mom’s driveway alongside her silver minivan.

You shift to neutral and yank on the parking brake habitually, then turn off the car and settle back into your seat.

You’re both quiet for a moment: you staring out the window lost in thought, Jean checking the time on his phone.

“Jean?”

“Hm?”

“Do you ever regret enlisting so young?” This catches his attention, turning sharply to look at your contemplative profile.

“Never. It was the right thing to do.” He’s resolute in this conviction, always. The War had seemed to be at its worst when you’d joined up, driven by the promise of Wall Maria’s reclamation and impassioned by your comrades’ fury. It had been the only choice, in his view.

“I do, sometimes,” you admit quietly, eyes downcast to where your fingers twist in your lap. “Maybe then my head wouldn’t be so messed up,” you laugh dryly and tap your temple, then shoot him a sideways glance. “And maybe—” you cut yourself off.

“Maybe what?”

“Never mind.” You’re out of the car so fast Jean almost questions if you moved at all. It reminds him of your natural grace on the ODM gear, how you’d whoop and holler as you hurtled past him among the trees during training. He wonders for a moment when your agility turned from a source of joy to an escape mechanism, then stops himself. He knows exactly when that happened.

—

The grocery store tulips thankfully survived their ordeal in the trunk of your car, bright against Ma Kirschtein’s tile kitchen backsplash as you arrange them in her favorite vase. After a minute of fussing, you take a step back, give a nod of satisfaction, and scoop up the trimmed stems off the counter. The rest of the groceries are already put away, organized so she can reach them without trouble.

It’s as you’re stepping on the trash can pedal to open its lid that the voices from the living room catch your ear. You pause, smiling as mother and son converse.

“Have you been eating enough, Jean-bo? You look so skinny….”

“Ma, I—”

“What am I saying, of course you haven’t. You’d waste away to nothing if you were left to your own devices. I’m so glad that darling girl is there to look after you.”

“Ma, she’s not my keeper—”

“When are you two getting married, again? I could’ve sworn I wrote it down in my book, but I looked the other day and couldn’t find the date anywhere.” She sounds serious. Confused, even, not a hint of teasing in her tone. Must be an off day. A symptom of her early-onset dementia.

“Ma, we’re not even together.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve been together since high school.” She’s so convinced, so sure, and you squeeze your eyes tight against the reality that you and Jean have only ever been friends. In the adolescent insecurity of high school, in the intensity of military training, in the fucking heat of battle, all you’ve ever shared is friendship.

“Ma, I don’t think… I don’t even think she—” He pauses and your ears strain in the silence to catch his last quiet phrase. “She doesn’t think of me that way.”

You just know, you can tell, he only says it like that to ease her confusion. It’s the opposite, really, he doesn’t think of you that way. Before you can hear more sideways rejection, you toss the flower stems and make a beeline for the bathroom.

—

“What was that movie you were telling me to watch, again?” You ask around a mouthful of spaghetti with sauce fresh from the jar, covering your mouth with one hand.

The pair of you are eating shoulder-to-shoulder on the floor of your apartment two floors above Jean’s. It’s got the decidedly better view out your picture window, complete with the perfect Eastern perspective of the river that cuts through Trost and its famous bridges. It’s this, the third leg of your traditional Saturday evenings together, that makes you feel the most warm.

Jean has the manners to chew and swallow before replying. “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? Connie, Sasha, and I went to see it when they visited last month—”

Your snicker cuts him off and he raises his eyebrows as you roll your eyes and take a sip of wine. “The feet movie? Sasha said it was pretentious.”

“Really? I thought she was too preoccupied with the fact that the theater sold chili fries to pay attention.” He teases back, twirling more pasta onto his fork.

“I’m telling her you said that,” you warn with a jab of your own fork in his direction.

“Snitch.”

“Hey!”

He ducks to avoid your swat to the back of his head, grinning at your pout. “No, but seriously, apart from the feet it’s a good movie.”

“Hmm. I’ll consider putting it on the roster for next week.”

You take a moment to relish the comfortable silence, looking out at the city lights as you chew thoughtfully. His thigh is heavy and warm against yours under the thick knitted blanket his mom gave you last Yule. Your belly is warm and full, your shoulders relaxed in the company of your closest friend, your lungs breathing easily.

Jean says your name quietly and you turn to see him staring pensively down at the plate in his lap. “About what you asked earlier… in the car?”

You nod, eyes wide and mouth serious.

“Sometimes… I do regret it.” He grits the words out through his teeth, like it’s difficult to force the truth into the world. “Not because I regret what we did in the War. But because sometimes I wonder,” his eyes cut to yours for a split second, “I wonder what could’ve been. Without the War.”

You don’t say anything, don’t say you understand, because you know he knows. Instead, you loop your arm into his and lean your head against his shoulder. It takes a moment, a release of breath and the fall of his chest, but eventually he closes his eyes, turns his face into your hair, and allows himself to sink into the what could’ve been. Just for now.

[jungshookz]

so did ballet jimin and y/n get any... closer on valentines day?? I know that you said you would never write a full fic on them but we the audience would like to see them finally get together or a smut 😔🥺

y/n can barely look jimin in the eye right now so i wouldn’t expect any sMUT any time soon but here’s a suRPRISE DRABBLE-

➺ pairing; park jimin x reader

➺ genre; balletteacher!jiminiverse!!! fluff :-)

➺ wordcount: 1.6k 

➺ what to expect; just because he’s single doesn’t mean he has to be so bitter on a day that’s dedicated to expressing your love for your significant other.

➺ readings: part one; part two 

➺ note; every time i tell myself the balletteacher!jimin storyline isn’t going anywhere my brain spazzes and couGhs out another chunk of the story so i’m retracting my statement of ‘i’m never going to give them a fic’ and replacing that with ‘idk????? mAYBE????? but IDK!!!!!! probably not but also probably yES??’ ok bye please accept this short drabble that’s too long to be a baby drabble  

                                 »»————-　♡　————-««

jimin completely forgot about the existence of valentine’s day because:

a) why the hell would he remember it in the first place and

b) there literally is nO point of valentine’s day??

like why can’t you prove your love to your significant other on any other day??? why does it have to be february 14th specifically??

so yeah that’s his general take on valentine’s day

the only good thing to come out of valentine’s day is the next day when all the chocolates and candies go on sale

one of his guilty pleasures are those decadent chocolate-covered strawberries

he thinks there should be a day dedicated to eating chocolate-covered strawberries

now thAT he would celebrate and cancel class for

but valentine’s day?

hAH

nope

basicaLLy you guys usually come in three times a week (monday, wednesday, friday) and valentine’s day just so happened to fall on a friday which, in his defence, is completely out of his control

and yeah he knows that some of you were disappointed to find that he hadn’t cancelled class but he aLso knows that no one’s going to pipe up and argue with him because you’re all terrified of him

with that being said he does feel a teeny bit bad

before class on wednesday he heard a couple girls talking about how they had to cancel their plans with their significant others and how it suCked that they were going to be stuck here dancing all night instead of going to the movies or going to a nice dinner oR getting laid lol

unrelated: he noticed that you didn’t contribute anything to the conversation when everyone was going around sharing what their would-be valentine’s day plans were

either you’re very secretive or you’re single

and he’s hoping it’s the latter

which he thinks is 98% the case because of the incident (“i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him.”)

anyways

yeah

he felt a liTTLe bad

just because he’s single doesn’t mean he has to be so bitter on a day that’s dedicated to expressing your love for your significant other

…which is why he bought a dozen single-stemmed roses aNd he tied a little satin bag containing two hershey kisses to each rose

at first he was just going to get everyone red roses but then he thought that thAt was crossing a line of professionalism so then he settled on light pink

to be honest he felt a little silly on the drive to class because he feels like doing this is going to make him seem less authoritative and make you guys leSS scared of him

but it’s fine

he’ll just yell at someone and then his power will fall right back into his hands

“now, i’m well aware that today is valentine’s day.” jimin clears his throat as he sets the basket full of roses down on the ground

he can see all of your eyes flicking in between him and the flowers

“and i know that some of you had plans tonight that had to be cancelled because of class,” jimin continues on and notices you getting up on your tip toes to peek over lisa’s shoulder at the basket

cute :’)

wait what

uh

he means.,,. um,..,

noTHING

“contrary to popular belief, i do have a sympathetic bone in my body.” that gets a chuckle out of some people but everyone shuts up promptly when jimin raises a brow

“so everyone gets a rose and some chocolates from me as a…” jimin pauses and thinks for a second “as an i’m-sorry-happy-valentine’s-day hybrid… gift? i’m also giving you twenty minutes to sit around and… talk… to each other, or… whatever it is you do when i’m not around.”

he clears his throat again

he can see the confusion swimming in everyone’s eyes

god

why is being nice so HARD

“what i’m saying is that today is… less about dancing - we’ll stiLL be dancing i’m not saying that class is cancelled - and more about… i don’t know. being… together? i guess?” he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly

…

coughs

“you know what, just- just talk amongst yourselves while i hand these friggin flowers out. dispErse.” jimin flicks his wrist and everyone immediately relaxes from the stiff first position you have to stay in when jimin’s talking

“i’m not gonna lie, that was painful to watch.” wendy mutters under her breath and you stifle a giggle

“aw, give him a break, he’s trying to be nice for once!” ailee teases as a couple of you get settled on the ground

it is actually really nice of him to do this

the nicest thing he’s ever done for the class was that one time he extended the mid-class break by one minute

you’re barely paying attention to the conversation because your eyes keep wandering over to jimin as he hands out the flowers to everyone

most of the girls are getting all blushy and giggly before they’re curtseying to him

as he approaches your group you scramble up from the floor before you get the chance to fix one of your leg warmers (they’re heaRT patterned!!!!!) so now one is pulled up the other one is still pushed down

but it’s too late to fix it because mr park is here so

“thank you, mr park.” seulgi offers him what yoU think are painfully obvious bedroom eyes and you resist the urge to scoff

of course you can’t call her out on it because then she’s going to say something about how you’re just jealous because you have a crush on him blah blah blah

which you DO but you’re not planning to actually admit that to anyone anytime soon

you’re still trying to get everyone off your back about the incident

right now everyone thinks you only said you had a crush on jimin just to get seulgi to pipe down and you’re just going with that because you can’t imagine the merciless teasing if people find out you actually like jimin 

the jokes have died down a little bit but everyone’s going to remember that day for the rest of their lives

like the other day jisoo came to class wearing a new lipstick and you said it was pretty on her and then she proceeded to ask if she was pretty enough for you to want to sit on her face  and everyone found that hiLARIOUS

“-i hope you don’t mind, miss y/l/n-“ you straighten up when jimin gets to you

“sir?” 

you almost let out a fond sigh when he smiles lightly at you 

he’s just so unbelievably handsome 

you’re the last in line and everyone else is (as instructed) talking amongst themselves anD enjoying their chocolates

“there weren’t enough pink roses in the store…” jimin trails off and you let your eyes drop for a split second

oh

well

that’s okay!

it’s the thought that counts

you try to hide your disappointment but jimin notices the way your shoulders droop just a tiny bit

“which is why i got you a lavender one. i know it’s not a traditional colour, but…” jimin presents you with the baby purple rose and you feel your entire boDy spring back to life

suddenly you feel your cheeks tingling with heat and your heart starts to pound in your chest as you accept the rose from him

“it’s very pretty, mr park. thank you.” you smile politely and give it a sniff

roses always smell so goOd

“ah- uh, yes. you’re welcome.”

“happy valentine’s day, mr park.” you blurt out before you can stop yourself and your eyes widen a little bit

oops

was that inappropriate?? 

because it felt inappropriate even though today is literally valentine’s day

and it looks like jimin wasn’t expecting that either considering the slight flush on his face

you’re about to start apologising profuSELY and you’re [this] close to returning the rose before he-

“…happy valentine’s day, miss y/l/n.” he smiles fondly and falters for a second before nodding once and walking off

“god, you can tell these are the expensive roses, too.” seulgi sighs as she gives her flower another heArty whiff

“ooh, i found it!” jisoo raises her phone and everyone turns to look at her

class ended ten minutes ago and everyone’s packing up now and wendy was wondering what light pink roses represented just out of curiosity so jisoo volunteered to look it up 

“associated with gentleness and admiration, light pink roses lets the receiver know that they are a pleasure to behold – an indication of joy. light pink roses can also be used to express sympathy and saying thank you.” everyone immediately bursts into coos of adoration

“oh my god, he’s so sweet…”

“i think i’m, like, actually in love with him!”

“when he handed me my rose i actually considered breaking up with my boyfriend-“

“oh my god sAME-“

you make sure your rose is tucked safely away in your duffle bag before you pull your phone out

time to do your oWn google searching

aH

okay

here it is 

‘the lavender rose is often a sign of enchantment and love at first sight. those who have been enraptured by feelings of love and adoration have used lavender roses to express their romantic feelings and intentions.’

you swallow thickly as you feel your heart flutter in your chest

oh boy

(jimin just hopes you bought his excuse)

(of couRSE the store didn’t run out of light pink roses)

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[chickensarentcheap]

Never Gonna Be Alone- Chapter 56

Title: Visitors

Warnings: profanity, slight angst

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @miss-smutty, @tragiclyhip, @ocfairygodmother, @ocappreciation

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860450/chapters/80479972

He dreams of one of his tours in Afghanistan. Two years into his time with SASR and his platoon imbedded with local friendlies; two dozen militia members that hated The Taliban just as much as the rest of the world and wanted a hand in bringing them down. He’d only been thirty at the time and already considered a seasoned veteran; several deployments into active and heavy combat, scars left behind from gunshot sounds and where shrapnel from roadside bombs had embedded into his skin. He’d felt as if he were eighty years old; shoulders weighed down by the horrors he’d seen and the things he’d had to do. No longer flinching when he had to take the life of another, but still feeling nauseous and when confronted by the bodies of those tortured and mutilated at the hands of terrorists. The healthy, the disabled, women, children; no one was safe from the brutality and it wasn’t uncommon to pass corpses in the streets or drive through bombed out towns.

Threats were everywhere; he’d long ago learned to sleep with a gun underneath his pillow. His instincts and senses sharp and keen and always on high alert; ears pricking to the howl of the wind or the rustle of rocks or the stirring of sand. Actual rest was a rare commodity for younger soldiers, but he’d become used to bedding down in the earth; body accustomed to the hard surface beneath him and his head not minding his rucksack as a pillow.

Three days had been spent navigating through rough terrain despite brutal elements they’d been faced with, and on the fourth night they were able to find refuge in a cave carved into the mountainside of the Tangi Valley. On their way to Mazar-i-Sharif; a well known Taliban stronghold. There they and the Afghan friendlies would attempt to take back the city; hoping and praying that they’d have enough weaponry and ammunition to wipe the enemy forces out. And that their own death tally wouldn’t be too high.

It was the first time he’d been afraid while with the SASR; warned that even with success, the chances of getting home alive were extremely unlikely. His wife had been pregnant at that time. Three weeks away from delivering his son; experiencing difficulties because of her own stress and worries revolving around his health and safety and his whereabouts. There’d been close calls already; snipers in the mountains, ambushes with rocket propelled grenades and tanks. His hyper-vigilance had been on high alert; every strange noise or shift of the rocks jarring him awake and seeing him reach under his backpack for the handgun he’d hidden underneath it.

He feels it now; the presence of someone standing beside him. Hears it; the soft breathing and the slight rustle of clothes. And he acts on pure instinct; hand sliding under his pillow and waiting for his fingertips to come in contact with the barrel of his Glock. Its absence sending his fear into overdrive and immediately instilling panic; eyes snapping open as he bolts into a sit and both hands shoot out to grab hold of the threat.

“Hi daddy.”

He blinks rapidly. The dream quickly evaporating and the cavern of sand and rocks dissipating; replaced by the wall of windows that provide a view of the darkened backyard and the glow of the space heater located in the far corner. Swallowing down the bile that sits in his throat, he briefly closes his eyes; using a forearm to clear perspiration from his forehead.

“Are you okay?” Addie inquires as she stands at the side of the couch. Clad in her favourite pair of unicorn themed pyjamas; Franklin the stuffed koala tucked under her arm, dark hair mussed from sleep.

He finally manages to gain control of himself; senses registering the familiar surroundings. “What are you doing?”

“I got up to go pee and then I wanted to snuggle with you and mummy in the big bed, but you guys weren’t there. I know I’m not supposed to come downstairs by myself while everyone is sleeping, but I was worried and I wanted to find you.”

“Are you okay? Did you have an accident in your bed?”

“Nope. I made it in time. I was scared; when I didn’t find you and mummy in your room. I thought maybe you left us.”

“Why would we leave you? You guys need us. We’d never do something like that. We love you guys way too much to ever leave you.” Reaching out, he gently cups the back of her head in his palm. “You know that, right? That mummy and I love you guys so much.”

Nooding, she tucks Franklin under her arm and she balls her hands into fists; rubbing vigorously at her eyes. “Why are you guys down here? Why aren’t you sleeping in your normal bed?”

“Mummy and I were up late. Talking.”

“About what?”

“Stuff.”

Addie tilts her head to the side. “What kind of stuff?”

“Stuff that mummies and daddies talk about. That little ears don’t need to hear.”

“So scary stuff? Or stuff with lots of swears in it?”

“Just stuff you don’t need to worry about.”

“Were you talking about…” she taps a finger against her lips. “... my birthday party?”

“You have a birthday coming up?”

Giving a dramatic huff; both hands find her hips and a pout curves her lips. “Daddy! You know my birthday is soon. February thirteenth. The day before Valentine’s Day. How could you forget that? Your own kid’s birthday! Your favourite kid!”

“I’m teasing you. I didn’t forget your birthday. I could NEVER forget it. Ever.”

“Mummy said maybe we could go to the koala place again.”

“That’s where you went last year. And the year before.”

“It’s my favourite place in the whole world. Mummy said to ask you. If we could go there. She says it’s up to you because you’re paying AND driving.”

“If you want to go to the koala place, that’s where we’ll go. Or we could go to the one in Melbourne; fly down and make a weekend of it.”

“I don’t want to fly. I don’t like it. It’s scary. “

“Since when? You’re fine with it when we go to Disney World.”

“That’s because I know I’m going to see Belle and Ariel and Snow White and Moana. That makes it worth it; being scared to death and worried the plane is going to crash.”

“The plane is NOT going to crash.”

“You don’t know that. Can’t we just drive to the koala place we always go to? They know me there. The koalas. They’ll be happy to see me.”

“If that’s what you want to do, we’ll do it. Now….” he reaches out and clears messy strands of hair away from the sides of her face and out of her eyes. “...why are you still up?”

“Isn’t today when we go to the American Girl store?”

“Yeah, but not for a while. Not for a LONG while. It’s still dark out. What time is it? Grab my phone. Check it”

Snagging the item in question from the cluttered coffee table, she presses the button on the side to make the screen come to life. “It says it’s six zero two.”

“Addie….” he groans and presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. “...it is way too early to be up, Peanut. Sun’s not even out.”

“Can we have breakfast? And then when we’re done it’ll be time to go to American Girl?”

“Baby girl, we’re not leaving until eleven. So even if we eat really slow, it’ll still be hours away. Why don’t you go back upstairs and lie down. See if you can fall back asleep for a bit.”

“I don’t want to go back up there. It’s too dark and I used up all my courage coming to find you and mumma. What if something chases me up the stairs? And catches me?”

“Where’s your monster spray I made for you? You all out?”

“I forgot it. In my room. That’s why I had to use all my courage to come find you. I’ll go back up there if you come with me. And snuggle for a bit.”

“I got a better idea; climb in here and snuggle with mummy.”

“And you?”

“I don’t snuggle.”

“You do too. Why are you so embarrassed to admit it? Snuggling is nice. It feels good. It makes your heart happy. It’s never a bad thing when your heart is happy.”

“Yeah,” he smiles, and lightly ruffles her hair. “It does. Come on; get in here.”

“I’m too tiny to get in.”

“You can make it. I know you’re like a spider monkey; I’ve seen you scale the fridge and the cupboards trying to get to things. Come on, hurry up.”

Tossing Franklin over the top of the sofa, she glances around the room; a fingertip pressed against her lips as she considers her options for assistance in getting to her final destination. Electing to push the coffee table over; groaning and grunting dramatically as her tiny body puts all the effort and strength it can in getting the heavy wooden object into place. Climbing effortlessly onto it and then slinging one leg over the top of the couch and then another; sitting on top of it with a victorious, proud smile that spreads from ear to ear.

“I did it! Daddy I did it! All on my own!”

“I knew you could do it. You just had to think about HOW you were going to do it. You’re crazy smart, you know that?”

“Not as smart as Tanner.”

“Nobody is as smart as Tanner. Not in this house anyway.”

“Not even you or mumma?”

“Definitely not me. But your mumma comes pretty damn close.”

“Mumma’s pretty smart. I mean, she has to be right? She fell in love with you.”

He grins. “You’re smooth, you know that?”

“I learned that from you. I’mma lie with you for a bit, okay? Then snuggle with mum.”

Nodding in agreement, he pulls the sleeping bag back and then he places his hands on her hips, steadying her as she slides down the back of the sofa and then plants herself on his stomach. Both arms wrapping around her tiny body as she stretches out along him; lips pressing against her brow as he head settles on his collarbone.

“It’s like a nest,” Addie enthuses, as he covers them both with the sleeping bag. “I like it. Maybe we can do this at home sometimes.”

“Maybe.” A tiny hand reaches up to brush against his beard, and he turns his face into it and kisses the palm.

“You need to shave, daddy.”

“Last week you said you liked my face like this. What gives?”

“It’s getting TOO bushy. I can’t see your face. Why you want to hide your face? It’s a cute face.”

He frowns. “Excuse me? I let you into the nest and you treat me like that?”

Addie giggles. “Sorry. I know it’s worse than a swear to you. You let mummy call you cute.”

“Sometimes I let her get away with it.”

“Well, I’m a mini mumma so that means I should get be able to get away with it too.”

“Your logic is actually pretty sound. I can’t argue with it. I’ll clean it up when we get home; thin it out, get my hair cut…”

“Don’t shave it off though. I don’t want you to have NO hair. I don’t think it would suit your face. If you were bald like Grandpa Koen.”

“Short, but not too short. Sound good?”

“I’ll agree to it. Mumma would NOT like it; if you got rid of all your hair.”

“She definitely wouldn’t. Speaking of mumma, let’s not talk so loud okay? Mumma didn’t sleep well last night; she needs her rest.”

Addie lifts her head from his chest. “Is she okay? She’s not sick is she? I don’t want mumma to be sick.”

“She’s not sick. Just tired. She hasn’t gotten a good sleep in a while. So let’s help her do that, yeah? Help her get the rest she needs? So she can take care of you guys? Be the mumma she always is? Can you do that? Help her get some sleep?”

Addie manages a nod; chin tucked into her chest and tears sparkling in her eyes.

“Hey…” he brushes her dark locks away from the side of her face. “...what’s wrong? Why are you going to cry?”

“Are you sure she’s alright? Are you sure mumma isn’t sick? That there isn’t something wrong with her?”

“Peanut, I am one hundred percent sure there is nothing wrong with her. She’s just tired. She hasn’t been sleeping well and she’s trying to catch up on what she’s lost. That’s it.”

“Are you sure, daddy? I don’t want mumma to be sick.”

“Mumma is NOT sick. She’s just tired. Would I lie to you?”

“No. You don’t lie ever. Maybe sometimes for your job because you have to, but never to us. OR mumma.”

“You need to trust me, alright? She’s fine. Just really tired. And that’s why we need to help her; keep our voices down and let her sleep. Make sense?”

Addie nods.

“Don’t cry. There’s no reason. Come here…” Laying a hand on the back of her head, he presses a kiss to her forehead and then draws her back down to rest upon him. “....mummy’s okay. Just sometimes, she gets worn out. She does a lot. For you guys, for me. She just needs to recharge her batteries. That’s all.”

Addie frowns. “Mumma doesn't have batteries. She’s human. Like us. She IS human, right?”

“Sometimes I wonder if she is; considering how awesome she is and how much she loves and takes care of all of us. But yeah, she IS a human. It’s a figure of speech; needing to recharge your batteries when you’re really, really, REALLY tired.”

“You promise she’s okay?”

“I promise. I would never, ever lie to you, Peanut. Mummy’s okay. She just needs some rest.”

“Alright,” she relents, and once more lays her head upon his chest; her eyes closing as his fingers repeatedly comb through her hair. One of her hands finds his right ear; softly pinching the top before her fingertips begin a slow and repetitive caress of the outer edge. Both she and Millie had adopted the same self soothing technique when they were just babies; the thumb of one hand shoved firmly in their mouths while the fingers of the other either stroked his ears or twisted at his hair.

“Addie?”

“Daddy?”

“I need to ask you something, okay? About when you get upset. Like you did just know about mummy. Is that okay?”

“That’s okay.”

“When you get like that, does it make you feel any different? Is there a change from how you normally feel?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Inside of you. Does anything different go on? When you get worked up like that, do you notice anything weird or funny or strange going on? Like in your stomach or your chest or your head or…”

“It hurts a bit,” Addie admits. “Like someone is squeezing my chest really tight. And my heart goes really, really fast and my tummy gets all butterflies in it. But not good butterflies; like when you meet someone beautiful and fall in love with them. Bad butterflies; like I’m gonna throw up. But I don’t.”

It’s the last thing he wanted to hear; yet another one of his kids showing telltale signs of mental health issues. Apparently running rampant through the family thanks to the combination of parental genes; moderate to severe anxiety issues, neurotic tendencies, feelings of panic and fear, episodes of mild to severe depression. He’d hoped that none of them would ever have to battle those kinds of demons; praying to whatever higher power existed -if any- that they’d be spared and their lives filled with nothing but love and light and the most trivial of problems. The guilt is quick to set in; blaming himself for the ‘fucked up, messy genes’ that have been bestowed upon them; a father with a lifetime of trauma and severe mental health issues that bears the titles of alcoholic and drug addict.

“Is that bad?” Addie inquires, and when he glances down he notices the worry that darkens her eyes and lines her face; deep furrows across her brow and the pout capturing her lips. “Am I sick? Am I going to die? I don’t want to die, daddy!”

“You’re not going to die,” he assures her, and tightens his hold on her. “And you’re not sick. It’s pretty normal. A lot of people feel that way. I know I do.”

Her face brightens at his confession; the joy of sharing something -even anxiety- with him and the relief that she isn’t alone in her struggles. “You do?”

Tyler nods. “Quite a lot, actually.”

“That’s part of your brain stuff? Feeling like that?”

“It’s one part of it. One of MANY parts.”

“Is my brain sick too? Is it sad like yours?”

“I don’t think so . I think it’s just something you’re going through. It’ll probably go away as you start growing up.”

She scrambles into a sit. “What if it doesn’t? Will I have to take medicine like you do?”

“You know what, how about we only worry about that IF it happens? Let’s see how it goes, alright? As you get bigger. But if things get worse and you start feeling like more and more and it’s getting stronger, you have to tell me or mumma okay? It’s important that you tell us. Will you promise? That if things get worse you’ll tell me or mumma?”

“I promise.”

“Good girl.” Laying a hand on the back of her head , he gently pulls her closer; pressing a series of kisses down the bridge of her nose. “Mumma and I need to know; if you’re feeling stuff like that.”

“I promise I’ll tell you. I won’t keep it a secret. Can I ask you a question now?”

“Can you lie down and ask it? Because it’s still really early and we still need to get some more sleep.”

Nodding in agreement, she once more stretches out along him. Side of her head resting on his collarbone and her fingers immediately reaching for the chain around his neck; rubbing the pendant -engraved with his and Esme’s zodiac symbols- between her thumb and forefinger.

One palm rests in the middle of her back as the other softly strokes her hair. “What do you want to ask me?”

“What did Austin look like?”

“What?” He gives an uncomfortable laugh; the mere mention of his son’s name tightening his chest. It’s creeping up on him; Addie’s sixth birthday and the anniversary -just three weeks later- of the death of his first child. Some days he doesn’t think of Austin at all; his past life nothing but a faded memory as he enjoys the new one that continues to play out in front of him. Other days the grief is profound; ripping at his heart and clawing at his throat and making his sorrow nearly unbearable. He wonders if it will ever go away; if he’ll wake up one morning and realize that years...decades even…have passed by without being haunted by his son’s demise and his horrible mistake leading up to it. “Where’d that come from?”

“I had a dream. He was in it. He didn’t say his name or anything and I don’t know what he looks like, but I KNEW it was. He was at our house. In Australia. And he was playing with us; chasing us in the sand and throwing us into the water and helping look for rocks and shells and sea glass.”

“Was he a little boy or…?”

“No. He was big. Older than Millie even. A teenager. He looked like you; he was tall and he had your eyes and muscles. Not as big as yours, though. Little ones. What DID he look like?”

“He looked a lot like TJ. Blond hair that was always kinda messy. Blue eyes. Same nose. Ears.”

“That means he was cute then. ‘Cause Tyler’s cute and he looks just like you and you’re cute so…”

“You realize you’ve called me that twice? In less than an hour?”

“It’s a compliment, silly. Mumma said you can be cute AND a bad ass. At the same time.”

“Well if mumma says it, I guess it’s true.”

“Austin was just little, right? When he died?”

“He was. He was six.”

“I’m going to be six soon. Does that mean I’m going to die too?”

“No, Peanut. It doesn’t mean that at all. It has nothing to do with turning the same age. Austin was sick and the doctors couldn’t fix him. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re healthy. VERY healthy.”

“If he was six when he died and you met mummy four years after that…”

“He would have been ten when I met your mum. And I met her almost thirteen years ago.”

“So he’d be…” her eyes narrow and she chews on her bottom lip. “...twenty-three now.”

“That’s pretty damn good; you figuring that out. You’re pretty smart.”

Addie beams. “Like mummy.”

“You’re like mummy in so many ways. And that’s a good thing. A VERY good thing.”

“If Austin never died, would he have lived with his mummy or with you and my mummy?”

He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that if Austin hadn’t passed away, the life she knows wouldn’t even exist. SHE wouldn’t exist. Had his first born son never been diagnosed with cancer and had lived a healthy life, he would have never gotten into the job; he would have stayed in the military and made it his career and would have never had a reason to even think about the ‘job’, never mind actually getting into it. And although his first marriage still would have fallen apart for many reasons, his path never would have crossed with Esme’s. Meeting her had only taken place because of his choice to become a mercenary; his enormous guilt and regret and immense sorrow pushing him in that direction.

Addie couldn’t handle hearing it; the cold, hard truth. Not even at fifty years old, never mind only five. She’s remarkably different from his other girls.; tiny and dainty and sensitive to a fault. Prone to easily having her feelings hurt and bursting into tears if someone so much as raises their voice at her or casts an angry or disappointed look in her direction. Millie and Brooklyn are ‘harder’. Boisterous and fearless and ‘rough and tumble’ ; never blinking under the often harsh teasing from their brothers and never flinching when they’re scolded or punished. They’d never needed the amount of coddling and physical contact that Addie craves; always needing cuddles and kisses and unabashedly seeking them out whenever she craves them. The others hate the idea of being ‘babied; fiercely independent and not needing the level of attention and reassurance that their sister does. And it’s a welcome change; the one little girl that he can dote on and spoil and treat like a princess. Something he -of all people given his sheer size and physical prowess and often intimidating nature- had never known he wanted; something so bright and beautiful that needs him almost as much as he needs them. She keeps him grounded and ‘light’ in ways the others can’t; her purity and her innocence infectious, her giggle and her smile and the way the word ‘daddy’ sounds coming out of her mouth doing wonders for his aching body, mind, and soul.

“He probably would have lived with his mum,” he says, fingers lightly dancing over her silky, dark hair. “And come to visit us.”

“He had a good mum? She was good to him?”

“She was VERY good to him. She loved him very, very much. And he loved her just the same; they were really close. Did everything together. Because I was away a lot.”

“When you were in the military?”

He nods.

“Was she as good as my mum?”

“Peanut, I don’t think there’s anyone in this world that is as good as your mum. Your mum is pretty awesome. She’s been through a lot of stuff in the past twelve years. Stuff that would have scared other people off. But she hung in there and she made things work even when I thought they might fall apart. And she had all you guys; all seven of you. That’s something. That’s a lot of babies.”

“No one is as good as my mum. No one. She’s pretty and she’s funny and she always gives us hugs and kisses and stops whatever she’s doing to pay attention to us. And she does fun things with us. Even when she doesn’t really have the time to do them. She just stops everything and gives us whatever we need. And she has fun doing it. Spending time with us.”

“Your mummy loves you guys so much. You know, there was a time she thought she wouldn’t even be a mummy. And I think that’s why she gives so much of herself. Why she’s always willing to put everything else aside for you guys. Because she never thought she’d have kids. And now she’s so happy she does.”

“But she had to have help, right? To have us. You had to help.”

“I played a little part in it.”

“What did you have to do?”

“Things that you’ll find out when you’re older. MUCH older.”

“How much older?”

“I don’t know…” he presses a kiss to her forehead. “...thirty? Forty?”

She giggles. “Daddy! That’s way far away! I need to know before that.”

“I’ll decide when you need to know those things. Until then? I’m going to keep you locked in your room. So no boys can get to you. Or girls, if that’s the way you wanna go.”

“Like Rapunzel,” Addie muses. “She was locked in her room. But her parents were mean and that’s why they did it. You and mumma aren’t mean. You just don’t want me meeting someone and moving away.”

“That’s EXACTLY it. I don’t want that. I want you to stay little forever. Exactly how you are right now. The one that still wants me to cuddle her and still likes to spend time with me.”

“I’ll ALWAYS want daddy cuddles. And to spend time with you. Why wouldn’t I want cuddles? Why wouldn’t I want to do things with you? You’re my daddy. I love you.”

“And I love you. So much. So very, very, VERY much.”

“If I’m going to be like Rapunzel, I better start growing my hair faster.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “You better.”

Abandoning the chain around his neck, her fingers move to the tattoo that graces the left side of his throat. “What was her name?”

“Who?”

“Austin’s mummy. What was her name?”

“Why so many questions? Especially about this stuff?”

“I’m just curious. What was it? Her name?”

“Her name is Sarah.”

“That’s a pretty name. Not as pretty as Esme, though.”

“No. It’s not. But you and I are a little biased, so…”

“Just a bit,” Addie agrees. “What does she look like? Does she look like mummy?”

“Nope. She’s totally different than your mum. She’s tall and heavier and more muscley. Blond hair. Green eyes.”

“She sounds pretty. But no one is prettier than mummy. NO ONE.”

“I have to agree there. I don’t think anyone else is either.”

“Was she nice? Austin’s mum?”

“She had her moments. And speaking of moments…” he lightly pats her bum. “...the moment is long past for you to go back to sleep for a while. So you’re not too tired to have fun at the American Girl store.”

“I’m not sleepy though. I’m too excited to be sleepy. I get to spend the day with you. All by myself!”

“And you know what? I’m excited about that too. But I’m also very tired and if I don’t get any sleep…”

“You’ll be really grumpy. Like a bear with a sore asshole.”

Laughing, he clasps her face in both palms and presses a kiss to her lips. “I think you sometimes listen to your mum TOO much. Do you think you could try? To get some more sleep?”

Addie nods. “I’m going to lie down on the other side of mumma. So she’s in between us. Then we can both snuggle her, okay?”

“I think that’s a great idea. Be careful though…” he lays a hand on her hip as she gets to her knees and begins the gingerly process of climbing over her mother without disturbing her. “...don’t fall on her, kick her, knee her, anything like that, okay?”

“I’m careful. And smooth. Like a ninja.”

Crawling under the sleeping bag, she settles herself on her side between Esme and the back of the couch. And he watches silently as the five year old’s hand begins softly exploring her mother’s face; gently fingertips moving across her forehead and over her eyes and along the bridge of her nose. So much love and adoration written all over Addie’s face that it brings tears to his eyes and causes a lump of emotion to settle in his throat.

Esme stirs; soft whimper followed by a groan of disapproval. And he rolls over onto his side and moves closer to her; lips meeting the back of her head as his hand rests on her hips. “It’s alright, baby. It’s just Addie. Climbing in with us.”

“Okay…” she mutters, and her eyes flicker open.

“Hi mumma,” Addie greets, her smile spreading from ear to ear.

“Hi little bug.”

“Daddy said I could sleep here. You’re in the middle so we can BOTH snuggle you. Alright?”

“Alright. I can’t think of anything better; stuck in the centre of a daddy and Addie cuddle sandwich.”

“Go to sleep, mumma.” Addie presses a kiss to her mother’s lips, then snuggles into her as tight as she possibly can. “Daddy and I got you. We’ll take good care of you. Right, daddy?”

“Right,” he agrees, as his hand slides to his wife’s stomach. Palm pressed against where he imagines his unborn child could be resting; safe and secure in the confines of its mother’s body. And he leans in to place a kiss on her cheek, whispering “I love you” into her ear before burying his face in her hair.

***** She busies herself with household chores; two loads of laundry to wash and dry, suitcases that still need to be packed, a sink full of dirty dishes. The house is oddly quiet; Addie and Tyler gone for their trip to the American Girl store, Desi taking the others out shopping and to lunch and a movie. It feels odd to have no commotion going on around her; no flurry of activity, no little voices all shouting for attention at the same time, no video games blaring from the television in the living room. And while the silence and the lull should fill her with a sense of peace, she finds it even more distracting; enabling her brain to go into overdrive and allowing her to dwell on the mountain of worries that are plaguing her.

It’s a welcome relief when she hears the front door click open and her sister’s voice shouts out in greeting. Both dogs snapping out of their naps and rushing towards the visitor; the loud jingling of their tags against their collars accompanied by their raucous barking. And she laughs just minutes later as Riley’s arm curls around her neck, pulling her backwards into her sister’s much taller frame.

“What are you doing here? I thought you and Shaena were playing tourists today?”

“Way too damn cold!” The red head grumbles. “And you can’t enjoy yourself when there’s that much white shit on the ground.”

“It’s kinda weird; growing up in Colorado yet complaining about the temperature and the weather here. New York City has nothing on Snowmass.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s a dry cold there. Here? Damp as fuck; you feel right into your bones! And the wind? Why is it always so windy here? Isn’t that supposed to be Chicago?”

“I think you’ve just become completely spoiled,” Esme muses, as she presses a kiss to her sister’s forearm and then turns her attention back to the sink of soap suds and dirty dishes in front of her. “Moving to Australia totally turned you from snow bunny to beach bum.”

“Was the lifestyle change I desperately needed and didn’t even realize it,” Riley admits, then plants a noisy kiss on Esme’s temple before stepping alongside her, fetching a towel from the countertop and starting on an already full rake of plates, bowls, silverware, and cups. “What happened? Dishwasher broke?”

“The dishwasher is full. Because we have been so caught up on laundry and putting Christmas shit away and packing to go home, that we never even gave it a second thought. So sadly, I have to do it the hard way. Like the pioneers did.”

“Well thankfully, you still have electricity, running water, and flushing toilets. You do, right? Have flushing toilets?”

“When Takota isn't shoving things that shouldn’t be shoved down them, they flush just fine.” Sighing, she drops her head to her shoulder; using the latter to push wayward strands of hair off her brow and away from her forehead.

“You sound a little...stressed.”

“You think? I’m just a little...oh I don’t know...overwhelmed. I’ve still got shit to pack, I’ve got to confirm our flight plans, I’ve got to somehow pick up the girls’ dresses for the wedding between now and Saturday morning, and I totally forgot to make a hair or nail appointment. So yeah, I am just a tad stressed.”

“Not to mention you've got a little Australian hot cross bun cooking in the oven.”

Her hands still within the soapy water as she glances over at her sister, both eyebrows raised. “He told you?”

“Well, I suspected and asked. He just confirmed it. Did you know he’s already got that goofy, proud as hell, daddy to be grin going on? For a guy that only had to put in five minutes of effort…”

“Don’t ever let him hear you say that. There’s no insult quite as damaging to his ego as that. And in his defense, he puts in more effort than that. A LOT more. He’s a very willing, extremely talented, and selfless participant.”

“I do NOT need the gory details, thank you. Bad enough I’ve come over and he’s been wandering around butt ass naked. Outside.”

Esme laughs. “That’s just the way he is. He has no fucks to give. Not to mention, we’re pretty secluded where we are and we’re not used to people just showing up. If you’d used the front door like a normal person and not come down the beach…”

“I thought I’d be perfectly safe. I wasn’t expecting to see my brother in law in all his naked glory.”

“You’re lucky it’s only happened that once. Tyler’s known to strip down when he’s out there. At least four to five times a week. He’s in his own little world and there’s no one around to bother him; if he’s dirty from working on the land or he’s been surfing, he’ll just whip his clothes off and use the outdoor shower. To be honest, he’d probably whip them off in front of a crowd of people. He literally does not give a shit.”

“Well, I’ll give credit where credit is due. Even though I do go for the ladies, I was pretty impressed. It’s only fuelled my all time burning question, though. How does he NOT break you in half? I mean, you’re so tiny and he’s so….not tiny.”

“We manage. Although sometimes I wonder if he IS going to break me in half. But in all fairness, that’s my fault. I’m the one who tells him to kick it up a notch and who likes it…”

“I do NOT want to hear this. I know you’re a kinky little thing, but I don’t need the details. If you say it’s fun, I believe you. And it MUST be. You’re still satisfied with the same dick after almost twelve and a half years.”

“I have zero complaints. Nothing but praise, believe me.”

“I remember the old Esme. The one that got bored of guys really quickly and sent them on their way. I mean, other than Tyler and he who shall not be named, you’re not exactly known for being a long term kinda of gal.”

“Never met anyone that could hold my interest long enough. People I dated? All they wanted out of me was purely physical and I longed for something more than that. They just weren’t the type that I could get that out of. Not everything is about sex, Ry. I don’t quite have the resume that you do.”

“I keep forgetting; you’ve always been more into finding someone that’s soul food and not just good for the body.”

“You make it sound like there’s something wrong with me. When you say it like that. I’m not some kind of freak because I didn’t bang everyone that showed interest. I was just looking for more than that. And the people I was with? They bored me. And if they weren’t turning me on in every way…”

“You wanted both clitoral AND intellectual stimulation.”

“I guess that’s one way of putting it.”

“Kind of funny Tyler fits that bill. He’s not exactly the intellectual type.”

Esme frowns. “He’s not exactly stupid, either. He happens to be very smart, Ry. Way smarter than anyone gives him credit for. Why do people think he’s not? I fucking hate that; people underestimating him like that.”

“Okay...that’s not what I was doing…”

“It’s like people hear what he does for a living or look at him and think he’s stupid. They see the size of him and the muscles and the scars and the tattoos and they think doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together.”

“Me-Me, I do not look at Tyler that way. I never have. I was just teasing. I didn’t…”

“He’s not a dumb ass, alright? I know he has his issues; with his brain. And I know things are starting to slip; his short term memory is getting worse and he’s got some cognitive things going on and he sometimes doesn’t make the best decisions. But he’s a good man and he’s a great husband and an even better father and he’s not stupid! He’s not...he’s….” She tosses the dish rag into the sink and brings soap covered hands to her face as she bursts into tears. “...fuck...these fucking hormones!”

“Hey...hey…” Riley peels her sister’s hands away from her face and uses the dish towel to dry them. “....what’s going on? What…?”

“I am so overwhelmed. I’m not doing well with this. At all. Accepting this.”

“Accepting the baby or…?”

“Everything. Everything is falling apart, And I’m trying so hard to keep it all together and I’m worried I won’t be able to do it for much longer.”

“Okay, you need to take a breath and start at the beginning. I know things are pretty damn scary right now and having another baby wasn’t exactly on your radar, but…”

“Things are getting worse. With Tyler.”

“What things? Between the two of you? With his mental health issues? Esme, give me something here. Please.”

“With his brain injury. I know the doctor said that things could start to deteriorate; short term memory, cognitive skills, temper. Even his handwriting is getting worse. And he gets confused so easily; even with the most simple things. There’s times when he’s talking and he just stops and it’s like he can’t come up with the words. Sometimes he manages to remember them, but other times it’s like his brain just won’t let him. And then I see it; in his eyes. How it frustrates him. And how worried he is.”

“Have you said anything to him? About all that stuff?”

“I’ve tried. But he doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s scared. I know he is. I know when to back off; when not to push things. And if I push it…”

“What about his doctor? The shrink. Have you talked to him?”

“I sent him an email. He said we’ll talk in the new year. He’s away on vacation.”

“Listen…” Riley places her hands on Esme’s shoulders. “...I know it’s hard not to read into things and it’s even harder to calm down when someone tells you to, but you need to calm down and not dwell. All those things you mentioned? They’re not necessarily signs that things are getting worse. I know I’m not a shrink, but I am a nurse and I would not lie to you about this. You know that, right?”

Esme nods.

“Tyler’s been under a lot of stress. The last five years have been sheer and utter hell. And the business is really picking up and yeah, he’s struggling with his bipolar and PTSD. He’s been overworked and overwhelmed and all those things? It’s very possible it’s just how the stress and the fight with his mental health are making him act. There is no guarantee this is a sign that things are deteriorating.”

“Really?”

“Really. And I think he realizes he’s in a little over his head and that he needs help so things DON’T get worse. Would he have called me if he wasn’t thinking right? Me-Me, his brain is working just fine. He went into protective hubby and daddy to be mode right away; he stepped it up and he admitted he needed it and he called me. That isn’t a man who’s losing it. Not by a long shot.”

“He actually did surprise me,” she admits. “When he told me he called you. I expected him to dwell on things, you know? Tyler has a tendency to do that; he always has. But he didn’t even hesitate. He outright admitted he needed help and went looking for it. And that’s a big step for him. That’s huge, actually.”

“It is. That shows he’s progressing, not regressing. And look how well he’s been dealing with other things; how well he’s been running that business. It’s like a well oiled machine. Look at the rep he has; he’s got clients pouring in, he’s got umpteen people wanting to work for him. He’s obviously doing something right or none of that would be happening. He’s doing so well, Esme. Especially considering everything that happened to him five years ago. And I know you love him; more than you love yourself. I also know you worry about him. But right now? You need to try and calm down and concentrate on yourself. And that baby you’ve got in there.”

“I don’t want to lose him to this. To his mind. I don’t…”

“There is nothing saying that is going to happen,” Riley gently interjects. “The things you’ve noticed? Stress can do all of that. Especially to someone whose brain is already vulnerable.”

“When I think of losing him, I think of the job. I think he’ll go out there one day and someone will kill him. I’ve almost kind of relegated myself to you, you know? That if old age doesn’t kill him, a bullet probably will. I mean, he’s a mercenary. I married into this life. And honestly, I’d rather lose him that way than his brain deteriorate and watch him slip away.”

“Esme…” Riley firmly clasps her sister’s face in her hands. “...listen to me. I would not lie to you. About anything. But certainly not about Tyler. I don’t see what you’re seeing, sweets. I don’t.”

“You don’t live with him. I see it. I’m not making this up.”

“I’m not saying you’re making it up. I’m saying maybe you’re reading too much into it. We all know that you can be a little neurotic…”

“I’m not being neurotic. I see these things. That’s my husband. The father of my kids. I see what’s happening to him.”

“I think what you’re seeing isn’t as bad as your brain is telling you it is. I think you’re stressed and you’re overwhelmed and your brain is making a bigger deal out of things than it needs to. Do you really think the business would be this successful if he was losing his mind? Do you really think he’d be able to step it up and take care of you and those kids? Do you think he would have recognized he needed help and called me?”

“No…” she sniffles. “...I guess not.”

“Sweets, you need to just try and take it easy, alright? I highly doubt things are as bad as your brain is making them out to be. Considering everything he’s been through and everything he’s been dealing with? Tyler is functioning very well. You have to admit that; that he has surpassed every doom and gloom bullshit those doctors gave you.”

“He has. He totally proved everything wrong. And he keeps proving them wrong. Every day. He’s so strong, Ry. He is the strongest person I have ever known. And when I think of a life with him being that way …”

“Then don’t think about it. You’re your own worst enemy, you know that? Esme, he is fine. Do you really think if something was going to go wrong with the brain injury, it would have taken almost thirteen years?”

She shakes her head.

“It would have already happened. You see how well he’s doing. How far he’s come. He’s fine, Me-Me. I think you’re overwhelmed and you’re tired and you’re worried and it’s just making things seem worse. You need to take it easy, alright? It’s not just you to worry about now.”

“This is the last thing I expected. Another baby. I mean, I’m forty-two years old.”

“That’s not exactly old. Women are having babies into their fifties these days.”

“Yeah, well they’re fucking insane. Number eight, Ry. EIGHT. Knowing my luck, nine too.”

“I highly doubt it’s another set of multiples.”

“What if there’s something wrong? Because of my age? What if…?”

“Then you deal with it. You’re not in this alone. You’ve got an incredible man in your corner. Who loves you so wholly and completely. Right to his very soul. If any couple can raise a baby with issues, it’s you guys. Look at everything you’ve been through together. Everything that would have destroyed weaker couples. You guys just kicked ass and kept going on. And that’ll happen again; if it has to.”

“I just worry I won’t be good at that kind of thing. Being that kind of mom.”

“Esme, you ARE that kind of mom. Look at Tanner. All his issues. Look how you’ve handled that. How you stepped to fight for what he needs and what will help him thrive. You’ve gone to bat for that kid over and over again and you and Tyler are raising him to be an amazing self advocate. You already ARE that mom.”

“I never thought about it that way,” she admits. “I guess I don’t think of TANNER that way. I don’t look at him and see his diagnosis. I just see him. I just see Nugget. And how well he’s doing. I mean, he struggles and we have to help him from time to time, but he’s done way better than we expected him to. And every day he gets more and more amazing.”

“Because of how you and Tyler are raising him. Don’t you see that? He’s doing that well because of the mom and dad he has. Because you two love those kids with everything you have. And there’s nothing that stands in your way when it comes to providing for those kids and making their lives incredible. Give yourself some credit, okay? You are a good mom. A damn good mom.”

“Sometimes I think I am; that I’m doing alright. But then Millie comes along and totally blows that out of the way and makes me feel like a shit mom.”

“Millie is also two years away from being a teenager,” Riley reasons. “An asshole teenager, at that. She is her father’s daughter; she’s stubborn and she’s tough as nails and she does not give an inch when she thinks she’s right about something. Hell, she doesn’t even give it if there’s proof she’s wrong.”

“She hates me. She’s hated me since she was six years old and I lied to her about Tyler being hurt and in the hospital.”

“She doesn’t hate you. You’re her mother. You know what she IS doing though? Holding a grudge. Because like I said, she’s her father’s daughter and she’s stubborn as fuck. Probably even more stubborn than he is. And I bet the old puberty monster is howling on the doorstep and that’s only going to make things worse.”

“She’s starting to develop. Told Tyler the other day she needed to get a bra.”

“Oh shit…” Riley can’t help but snicker. “...that must have gone over well.”

“I think he aged ten years in about thirty seconds. That was NOT what he wanted to hear. That’s his little girl. His first daughter. His miracle baby. The thought of her having boobs and getting her period and boys paying attention to her? He just can’t handle any of that.”

“Well, he doesn’t need to worry too much about the boys. They get out of hand? Millie will kick their asses herself.”

“Yeah,” Esme laughs. “She most certainly will.”

“Now…” Riley loops her sister’s hair behind her ears. “...your ever adoring husband called me about an hour ago and asked me to come over. Take care of the things in the house that you’re so worried about. Shaena’s out shopping and she’s going to get someone to come here and do your hair and your nails the morning of the wedding?”

“Really?” Tears well in her eyes once more. “She’s doing all that?”

“The girls’ hair too. It’s all taken care of, alright? And she’s going to pick everyone’s dresses up and bring them here. So that’s a few things off your list already. You know what else he told me? That you didn’t sleep well last night. And he’s worried. Already in protective daddy to be mode. So, I’m here, and I will cross off whatever I can on your to-do list. Alright?”

“You don’t have to, Ry. You don’t…”

“I want to. You’re my sister. This is my family too. And when things need to get done, we step up and we help each other out. How many times have you and Tyler done that for me and Shaena? When we’ve been working or we’ve gone away and the kittens need to be looked after? You guys always step up. So, we’re returning the favour.”

“Thank you. I really DO need sleep. And Desi won’t be back for a while; he took the kids and Alannah shopping and to a movie.”

“That means you have time for not just a nap, but a long, hot bubble bath. Unfortunately, you can’t have your usual glass or two of wine with it.”

“Glass or two?” Esme scoffs. “More like the whole bottle some days.”

“Sadly, you can’t indulge. I could make you a tea. Bring it up to you?”

She nods. “Tea sounds perfect.”

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Riley assures her, then pulls her into a tight hug. “Things happen for a reason, right?”

Esme laughs. “You’re sounding like Tyler.”

“Well what can I say?” She presses a kiss to her sister’s cheek. “The Aussie’s starting to rub off on me.”

[imaginingmanyfandoms]

The Triwizard Tragedy

summary: a collections of moments between Rachel & Cedric before his death. Also her coping with his passing afterwards.

warnings: depression, ptsd (maybe), death

October 25, 1999 - The Present -

Rachel was constantly wrong, about a lot of things. For one, she was not the first person to ever feel the pain of lose. Second, she would eventually heal. But it didn't feel that way. Not to her. Not now.

In the dawn of war, Rachel had returned to her alma mater to fight against the very person who had taken away the love of her life. Cedric Diggory had died years ago, leaving a cocky, lovable Hufflepuff sized hole in her heart. For the last few years of her schooling, she had distractions from the pain left, right, and centre. In the midst of war she never really had time to grieve.

Of course, she never had any direct contact in battle with Lord Voldemort, but sending a few death eaters to their graves was enough. But that didn't make her feel better, instead the reminder that she had taken lives, even on a battlefield, had her waking up screaming in the middle of the night, traumatized by the memories of the past. The ghosts roaming her mind. It was like a constant stinging reminder that the pain she felt over losing Cedric, someone definitely felt about the men she'd hurt during the war. She knew she was on the right side, and those men were evil. But it still felt as though there was no coming back from ending a life.

Her best friend and roommate (until he moved in with Angelina Johnson, but that has never been truly talked about) is the only person that Rachel was really close with. Everyone else she knew was left at arms length. Never getting close enough to hurt her.

George knew what she was feeling, probably worse. He had lost the most important person in the world to him. And he'd never be the same. But he was managing. He had the legacy of the Wheezes, and he had his family. He had his fiancée and his best friend, who he was deeply worried about. He'd tried to talk to her about the clear PTSD and grief she displayed, but like a switch she would shut off whenever the conversation would start. Once she shut off, she was a robot for days, and he couldn't risk doing that too much for fear that something horrible would happen to her. He was afraid he was going to lose her to herself.

And he couldn't lose her.

You see, after the war, after feeling like nothing would ever be okay again. Rachel pounded on the door to the closed shop of the Wheezes. When George continued lying in Fred's bunk bed, she broke in. She climbed into bed with him and they stayed there for days. Leaving only to use the bathroom and eat. Then she snapped her fingers, and said, "let's get this baby back into business."

And just like that, they had a distraction to focus on instead of dealing with their pain. The difference between the two was that George would frequently talk to his siblings, and reach out to them when he needed support. Rachel was like a brick wall, and wouldn't say a word even as she wept alone in her room.

George couldn't let it go on forever, soon she'd die of a broken heart. So he did what any confused, young man would do. He ran to his mother and asked for help.

"I think that maybe I'm not the one who's going to pull her out of this, mum. I've tried but I think I'm too close to it to see what she needs."

Molly only smiled slightly, and took a day - with the help of Hermione, to head to the Wheezes and try and talk to Rachel. The store closed early on Sunday's, giving both Rachel and George the afternoon off. Ron took the entire Sunday since the mornings were slow anyway.

Rachel didn't notice at first that this was a gentle intervention, and put on a cup of tea for both of her guests. Hermione casually strolled around the shop, giving some space to Molly and Rachel.

Rachel served the tea.

"How are you doing, honey?" Molly asked, trying to sound as light as possible, not wanting Rachel to shut her out.

"I'm fine, store could use a little cleaning tonight, and I might get a head start on the inventory night for tomorrow."

Molly suspected she'd be filling her time with distractions this week. Saturday would've been Cedric's birthday. Molly thought for a moment, and decided to just go for it, and fill Rachel's head with Cedric before Molly could be shut out.

"How old would he be?" she asked. She knew the answer, but she needed to talk about Cedric. That was the root of Rachel's pain.

Rachel quickly went as stiff as a board, as her head filled with images of the boy she loved so much. The boy who took her heart and died with it still in his possession.

"What is this?" Rachel asked, standing from the table. "How dare you?"

"I just want to help you, Rachel. You're wasting away in here. We're worried about you," Molly said, "We love you and we want to help."

"Who's we? You and Hermione?" Rachel asked, Molly stayed quiet. "Did George put you up to this?" Rachel sighed. "Of course he did. Well if I'm causing this much stress maybe I should just get out of his hair then."

Rachel left the room, and climbed to her bedroom. Angrily, she threw clothes into a trunk, crying and repeating how everyone should just leave her alone. She sat on the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets in her hands until her knuckled turned white. She had pushed Cedric out of her mind for so long, and his memory was like a dam bursting, filled her head until she was drowning in her pain.

November 16, 1992. - Fourth Year -

Rachel held her potions textbook tight against her chest, willing this git Marcus Flint to give her back her essay. He persisted in trying to get a kiss from her.

"Come on, who says Gryffindors and Syltherins have to be enemies? We can be sweethearts instead," he said, grinning.

Gross.

She rolled her eyes, and once again told him to just give it back. She didn't have time for this, it was almost dinner time and she had plans to meet her friend afterwards to play chess. Also, she just didn't particularly care to be harassed.

"I'm not giving it back until I get a kiss, love."

"Not happening," she said, shaking her head.

"Well, then I guess I'll keep this. I don't need it but I bet I could sell it to someone in your year. Last chance, love."

"Give her the parchment back, Flint," a boy said, approaching the pair. He was a Hufflepuff prefect, and absolutely stunning. She knew him as Cedric Diggory, all the girls did. He was in the year above her, so there was no way he knew who she was. She felt her cheeks heat up as Cedric came to save her homework. She could've turned into putty right then and there.

"Who's gonna make me? You? You've got no power over me, Diggory."

"No, you're right about that. Except I am a prefect, and I would hate for Snape to hear about this, I really would."

"He'd take my word, he wouldn't believe you."

"He'd believe her, top marks in his class you know. Above all the Slytherins," he said, smirking. "And he'd know you definitely didn't write that. All the words are probably spelled right."

"And if I rip it right now, burn it even. How are you going to prove it?"

Rachel saw Snape rounding the corner only a few feet away from where they were standing. He had an extra sour look on his face, the kind of face he made when he knew he'd have to discipline someone from his own house. Marcus hadn't noticed him approach yet.

"I won't have to."

"I'll take the essay, Mr Flint," Snape said, putting a hadn't on Marcus' shoulder. Snape unrolled the essay, skimming over it briefly. "You disappoint me, Mr Flint. Five points from Slytherin, and an essay on why stealing is wrong to be on my desk by the end of tomorrow."

Snape looked at Rachel and scowled, before giving her back to essay and leaving. Marcus huffed off as well.

"Thanks, I really didn't want to do that twice," she said. She wanted to ask how he knew she had top marks, but she figured he was bluffing. Good thing Marcus hadn't called it.

"No problem, Rachel. Happy to help," Cedric said, walking off.

She took a breath and began walking towards the Great hall, before stopping dead in her tracks and turning around in time to see him turning the corner, out of her sight.

He knew her name?

October 25, 1999 - The Present -

The pain in her chest was agonizing. It was like her chest had been set on fire, while her mind filled with water and froze. The tears continued to fall, as her white knuckles began to fall numb. She was suffering. She'd never really let herself grieve over Cedric. She stuck to distractions, and numbing herself.

Turns out she couldn't stop the pain, only postpone it. And today it was coming back with interest.

Rachel heard the door open, and relaxed her hands, letting the blood flow return, making her hand tingle with pins and needles.

She looked up and saw Hermione peeking her head in. The girls used to be a lot closer than they were today. That was how it was with pretty much anyone that used to be close with Rachel. After Rachel's sixth year, aside from Fred and George, she'd pushed away everyone, and shut them out. Refusing to give anyone the power to leave her.

"He would've been 22," Rachel said, her voice no louder than a whisper. Hermione said nothing, but continued to look at Rachel. She'd never seen her look so weak. It was always hidden. Suffer in silence.

"Not to say you're wrong to miss him, and hurt over the fact that he's gone. But we've all lost people. And we've survived by dealing with it. That's all we want for you, we just want you to experience life again." Hermione sat down on the bed next to Rachel, and put a soft hand on her shoulder. Rachel genuinely couldn't remember the last time she'd been shown physical affection from anyone. She hadn't hugged anyone since Fred died. “We miss you.”

“I think I miss me, too.” Rachel sighed. “But I miss him, more.”

February 12 - Fourth Year -

Rachel crossed paths with Cedric Diggory again, less than a week later. He was standing in front of the Great Hall, talking to a friend of his – Jon, she thought his name was. And she was passing by, trying to escape without having to make eye contact with him. She knew that if she saw his beautiful smile, or the way his grin made it up to his eyes, letting you know that everything about him was genuine. It made her sick. Made the butterflies in her tummy jump to life, like a toddler was running through and disturbing them.

“Hey, Rachel!” Cedric said, thwarting her plan. “Wait up.”

She had no choice to, there was no way to pretend she didn't hear him. She turned around with a forced smile. Small talk is easy to fake, just get through it.

“You okay?” he asked, his grin fading into concern and he put a hand on her arm, immediately setting it on metaphorical fire.

“Yeah, uh, I just need air.”

She ran away.

From the cutest boy in the world.

She ran.

Was she ever embarrassed.

She made it to the entrance of the school, and sat on the top stair. Putting her head in her hands and trying not to cry of embarrassment. When the guy you develop a crush on touches you... don't run away, maybe? A couple of deep breaths later, and someone joined her outside. Cedric had followed her out here? Why? He didn't even know her.

“You're pretty quick,” he said, clearly trying to lighten the mood. She said nothing. “You want to talk about anything?”

“How'd you know my name?”

“Uh, we met last year.”

She shook her head. “No, why didn't. I would've remembered that.”

A blush crept onto his cheeks, and he looked away from her. Now she was really confused.  “I might have asked your friends about you.”

“What? Why? They never said anything.”

“I kind of lied to them, and said I was just trying to learn everybody's name. They pointed out like forty people before they got to you. Funny thing is, I don't remember any of the other names. I was just anxious to get to yours.” His grin was back on his face, but his cheeks still held the ghost of a blush.

“Why me?” she asked.

“Because I think you're beautiful,” he said without skipping a beat.

Rachel blushed, her eyes growing wide. He chuckled when she looked away. Between the pair of them the only pattern was a 'blush and turn.' Casually, Cedric slide closer to her, so their thighs were touching, and from the corner of her eyes she saw him drumming his fingers against his knee. With a relax face, and natural smile she looked over at him, and tried to find an ounce of a lie in his features. When she couldn't find one, she settled for just smiling at him. He smiled back. When she thought the moment was ending, he was planning to start a new one. He moved his hand up to her neck, and ever so gently guided her closer, giving her every opportunity to move away. When she started moving with his advances, he smirked. Drawing her in for the final collide of a kiss. They both knew they were goners, right then and there.

Hogwarts was truly magical.

October 25, 1999 - Present Day -

“I can't think about it anymore, Hermione. It hurts,” Rachel said. “It hurts so much.”

“I know,” she said, tearing up. Hermione felt pain in her chest watching Rachel breakdown. Was t weird for her to admit it was better to see her breakdown than shut down? Felt like they were having a break through. “Tell me about the day.”

“Which day?”

“The day he died.”

“No, no, no, no...” she kept repeating no, but Hermione stood her ground.

“You need to talk through your feelings. I have all day. Just start stalking and if you need to stop and cry, or collect your thoughts. Fine, that's absolutely fine. But I'm afraid if you wait any longer your going to permanently stunt your emotions.”

“It hurts...”

It felt like Hermione was forcing razors down her throat. Felt like she was fighting against drinking a lava smoothie. If she recounted the day, after all these years. She could no longer deny he was dead. Could no longer hope that one day he'd walk through the door as if he hadn't missed a day. Could hold her and tell her everything would be fine.

June 24, 1995 - Fifth Year -

She sat crossed legged on the bleachers, on edge just as everyone else was. She was so hoping that Cedric won. She'd be so proud of him. Her boyfriend, the Triwizard Champion. Even thinking the words made her excited.

“I thought you hated the idea of the whole thing,” Hermione said, eyeing her friend.

“I've come around to it,” Rachel said, smiling. “He's been so proud of himself. And I've been proud of him. And I'll admit, every time he completes one of those challenges, and he's all proud and sweaty... it's pretty sexy.”

“You're shameless,” Hermione said, laughing.

“Maybe.”

Then someone appeared back at the start of the maze. Harry came back first, he won! Rachel got ready to cheer, happy that at least Hogwarts won if not Cedric. But then she noticed something else.

“Is he knocked out?” Hermione whispered, talking about Cedric.

There was a commotion down there, and immediately Rachel was fighting and shoving her way down the the area. She hopped over the wall and made it, staring at the body of her body, lying lifeless on the grass. She heard things going on around her, but she couldn't make out details. The air around her felt thin, she couldn't breath. She felt dizzy, and confused, and upset. What was going on? What happened? It's okay, he's just petrified she kept repeating in her head. But she knew that wasn't true.

On her arms she felt two cool, firm hands. She looked and saw Professor McGonagall gently shaking her, and telling her not to look. The words, Do you hear me? Rachel, don't look! Don't look! Didn't even register with her. She kept staring at Cedric's face. His beautiful face. Frozen.

Cedric wasn't going to wake up. He died out there. The air got thinner. And her throat got tighter. But she didn't even realize she was dizzy – she just kept staring at Cedric until tears streamed down her face. But it wasn't even crying, she just hadn't blinked in so long. She couldn't stop looking at her recently deceased boyfriend.

“What's happening?” she asked, but it came out in a wheeze. And only a few seconds later, Rachel passed out, falling onto the ground like a ragdoll.

October 25, 1999 - Present Day -

After recounting every second of that day, Rachel wept for another twenty minutes before the tears finally stopped.

“I never got to say goodbye. There was so much wee were supposed to do. So much I had to say. So much left,” she said. Hermione still hadn't spoken. “I was so mad at him, Hermione. For weeks I was so mad at him. I kept thinking, I knew this tournament was going to be a horrible idea. And I begged him not to enter. I begged him, but he did it. And I supported him – like a girlfriend is supposed to. And then he died. And I was mad.” Rachel didn't start crying again, but her throat tightened and she felt like it could start at anytime. “How am I supposed to move on from perfection? From someone who loved me so genuinely, and selflessly? From someone who didn't break up with me but is just... gone.”

“You don't move on,” Hermione finally said. “He's never going to leave you. He's always going to be a part of you, you have to know that by now. I get that you feel guilty for living when he isn't, but you have to remember he wouldn't want you to waste your life. He wanted more for you than anyone. You don't move on, you don't forgive and forget. You forgive and carry on his memory, because that's all you can do. And one day, when your kids, or my kids, or George's kids... someone, asks you about your first love. You tell them. You tell them that you fell in love with a beautiful guy who was a perfect gentleman. And you tell them that you still love him, and you will always love him. But love doesn't stop because a heartbeat did.”

Rachel sat unmoving during Hermione's whole speech.

“Did you rehearse that?” she asked, smiling.

Hermione laughed. “Yes I did.”

For the first time in years, Rachel thought she might be okay one day. She just needed to let them in. Let her friends back in.

June 1, 1995 - Fifth Year -

“Not still mad at me, are you?” Cedric asked, sitting between his girlfriend's legs, propping his elbows on her knees and sinking back into her chest. Even, yes, she was still mad – she loved when he tucked himself close to her. She continued reading her book without answering him, letting go with one hand to get comfortable. She raised the book above his head, and set her now free palm on the grass, feeling the blades between her fingers. “C'mon, babe! Dumbledore wouldn't let anything happen.”

She sighed, and closed her book with one hand, making sure to use enough pressure to let it slam with a clap. “They cancelled these games because people kept dying, you realize that?”

“I'm not going to die,” Cedric said, stretching himself up to nuzzle his nose against her neck. She sighed contentedly at the softness of his hair, brushing against her sensitive neck. He laid a few gentle kisses on the skin there, before slacking back down to his original lazy posture. “Cute that you're so worried about me though.”

“It's not cute,” she said, rolling her eyes. She set her book down and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing the side of her head against his. He laughed, and turned to kiss her cheek.

“I love you, always and forever.”

She sighed happily. “I love you, forever and always.”

[viktorrotkiv]

Trust Me

This fic was written for the @snowbaz-sweethearts-exchange as a gift for @seducing-a-vampire , and beta-read by @stevenuniversestolemyheart ​ (<3).

Read on AO3

*

Simon was being weird again. Avoiding him. Being evasive and distant.

Baz has been through this once before, and he really doesn’t want to do it again. This game of avoiding one another, almost-talking about feelings, trying to keep hold of a sinking ship. They survived the last time, but just barely. Baz thinks maybe he didn’t do enough then, because it feels like they survived on pure chance. Luck of the draw. Fate had tested their relationship, pushed it almost to the breaking point, then got bored and gave up, and they bounced back. Slightly broken, and a little less idealistic, but realer, and stronger. Different.

Baz couldn’t stand change. He had had enough ‘different’ for a lifetime. This time, the ship won’t even start to sink, because he’s going to stop it.

He’s going to prove to Simon Snow that he’s the best boyfriend around.

*

At first, Simon was worried about Baz’s birthday. He wanted to make sure it was perfect and special. After everything they’d been through, Baz deserved some happiness and peace. But the moment he thought of his brilliant idea, he relaxed completely. He sunk fully into planning and organizing, devoting hours and days to it, but he wasn’t worried anymore. He was confident.

The grand plan was this; on the morning of February 24th, Simon would show up at Baz’s parents’ house, where Baz was staying for a few weeks. They would have breakfast with Baz’s family, after which, everyone, including Simon, would give Baz his gifts. Simon’s gift will be a pair of jeans, reminiscent of Simon’s first visit to Baz’s house, and a hand-made gift card, entitling Baz to “give Simon Snow a makeover of your choice, including, but not limited to, hair, clothes, and manners.” Baz will laugh and immediately change into the jeans (this was, of course, a crucial part of the plan). They’ll spend the morning with Baz’s family (and maybe some of it in Baz’s room, decidedly away from his family), and then Simon will noncommittally suggest lunch with a few friends. Baz could either accept or decline; this was important in order to make it seem like the day wasn’t orchestrated. In the afternoon they had tickets to see an exhibition at a Normal museum that Baz was buzzed about; this part he was aware of. On the way back from the museum, Simon would suggest walking through a park, where, lo and behold, all of Baz’s friends and family would be waiting with balloons and home-cooked food and cake.

The only problem was that Simon was terrible at keeping secrets, and worse at lying. There was only one solution: he would have to try and avoid Baz for the next few weeks.

February 1st

Mordelia was going to be the death of him. Last night there had been one acceptable clean pair of trousers in his closet. He was sure of it, because he had checked specifically, because he knew that most of his clothes were in the laundry. And now, as he was getting dressed to meet Simon, it was gone. The only things he could find were old trousers that didn’t really fit anymore, and a few pairs of pyjamas.

“Mordelia!” Baz slammed the closet door shut and stormed out of his room. “What did you do with my clothes?! Good morning, Daphne. Mordelia, I’m going to hex you!”

“What?” His little sister peaked innocently out of her room, seemingly trying to shut the door on herself.

“You know what you did. Where are my trousers?”

“Oh, these?” Mordelia bent down and picked something up from the floor behind her.

“Yes, these!” Baz snatched them away angrily. “What on earth did you need them for?”

“Nothing.” She shied away from his inquisitive gaze. “I was, er – I was playing dress up.”

Baz huffed and sighed, but walked away. He didn’t have time for this. The ‘perfect boyfriend’ that he was trying to be was never late. But seriously, who on earth thought that moving back home while he looked for a flat near Simon and Penny was a good idea? Oh, right. All of his friends. His parents too. His siblings were happy to have him. And he wasn’t paying rent.

*

Simon’s secret phone beeped with a message. Yes, he had gotten burner phones for the Top Secret Baz’s Birthday Surprise operation. Growing up in a Normal orphanage had left its marks, and a love for trashy spy movies was one of them.

The message was from Mordelia, one of his many accomplices, and it contained Baz’s trouser size.

Also, he’s mad at me now. Can you tell him it wasn’t my fault that I had to take his trousers?

You’re brilliant, Simon wrote back. And no! You mustn't tell him either, remember?

Will you buy me sweets?

Only if it makes you shut up and promise not to tell Baz

Alright :)

Fine. Simon saw Baz through the window of the coffee shop and quickly put the phone away. As Baz entered the shop, holding a bouquet of flowers, Simon stood up to wave him over. When he reached the table, Baz gave Simon a quick kiss on the cheek, and held out the bouquet.

Simon accepted the flowers and brought them to his nose to cover his embarrassingly big grin. They didn’t usually kiss in public; Baz was as shy about kissing as he was about eating, and they never knew what seemingly-charming old lady would shoot them a disapproving glare. This was a nice change of pace.

The flowers smelled good, and like they had been kept fresh with magic. Simon wondered what they were called.

“They’re Gerbera daisies,” said Baz, seemingly reading his mind. “Now, what disgustingly sweet monstrosity do you want to drink today?”

Simon couldn’t help but grin again. Avoiding Baz was going to be very, very difficult.

February 5th

Simon picked up a pair of jeans, only to be horrified at the amount of tears and holes it had. There was virtually more empty space than cloth. He quickly put it back down, trying and failing to fold it into the right shape, and moved on to the next display. He was feeling kind of lost. Now that Mordelia had acquired Baz’s trouser size for him, he could actually buy Baz’s present, but this wasn’t his speed at all. Big shopping centres. The actual shopping. Lots of Normals around. Fashion. God, he felt completely lost.

“Need any help?”

Simon turned to find that a chipper employee had appeared behind him. They popped up like mushrooms after the rain. “No, thanks, I think I’ll be fine.” Simon did his best to smile as he spoke, but he guessed that the vibes he was giving off were actually ‘terrified’ and ‘lost’ and perhaps ‘sad puppy’.

The employee seemed doubtful but didn’t push it. She was short, with short hair, and her store-mandated vest was covered with optimistic pins. Her ears reminded him of a pixie.

She had started walking away when Simon changed his mind. “Actually! If you don’t mind, I think I do need help.” Her kind smile encouraged him to continue. “I’m looking for jeans for my… my, er, boyfriend. I’m looking for something without many tears, and not too tight.”

“Do you want me to bring you a few options?”

Simon sighed in relief. “That would be great, thanks.” He told her the size he needed, and she walked purposely towards a rack on the other side of the store. As he watched her pull out different pairs and pile them in her arms, fascinated by her decisiveness, Simon’s phone rang. The regular one, not the burner phone. The phone he had forced Baz to buy with him, so they could talk. Baz, who was the one calling him right now.

Shit, shit, shit. He took a deep breath, finger hesitating above the screen, and let the phone ring almost five full rings before picking up.

“Hey, babe.” Simon closed his eyes and mentally kicked himself. He had been going for ‘casual’, but there was nothing casual about pet names with them.

“Babe?” Baz’s incredulous tone was almost enough to make Simon hang up.

“Erm. Yeah. No. Ignore that. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh.” Simon looked nervously around the store. The employee was halfway back to him, still stopping at displays and racks.

“Remember how I told you that Mordelia stole my clothes? Now she’s decided to teach the baby how to play the piano. The sound is deafening. I’ve started taking walks around the garden just to avoid her.”

“Oh, that sounds awful.”

“It is! It really is. Erm, so, I tried to find a reason to get out of the house, and I’m in the coffee shop we like, and they have a sale on chocolates, and I was just wondering if you like marzipan.”

“Erm, yeah, sure. It’s sweet, right? Then sure, I guess I like it.” The employee had almost completed a full round. He’d have to hang up soon.

“What about hazelnut? Or – or, get this, hazelnut coffee.”

“Er…” Simon smiled apologetically at the employee, who was back in front of him, carrying a pile of clothes almost as tall as her. “Yes to hazelnut chocolate, no to the coffee. I, er, I kind of have to go, can we talk later?”

“Sure, I – I guess.” Baz let Simon hang up.

Simon thanked the employee profusely and started going through the pile of jeans.

Baz pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at the blank screen, disappointed. Mordelia really was trying to teach the baby to play the piano, that much was true, but it wasn’t the reason he was looking at chocolates. He was trying to do something nice for Simon, and his boyfriend was still acting weird and pulling away. That had to have been the shortest phone conversation they’d had since Simon had forced him to buy the damn thing. What could he have possibly done wrong?

Baz paid for the chocolate in a stupor and left the store deflated.

February 10th

Dearest Basilton,

No. Simon crossed out the words. Who was he, Baz’s grandmother? Wait. Did Baz have a grandmother? Obviously, genetically, he had to have grandmothers. But were they alive? How could Simon not know this? He’d have to ask him.

Simon shook his head and stared at the paper.

Baz, he started again. Simple and personal. You already know how much I love you.

Simon chewed on his pen. No: I hope you already know how much I love you.

But birthdays are a time to state the obvious again. So, I love you, I love you, I love you. You’re the best person I know. The bravest, the strongest, the most resolute person I know. The smartest. Wait, nevermind. Second smartest. Stop glaring at me and read the rest of the card.

I love how good you are with your siblings. How patient and gentle you are with me when I need it most. I love how dramatic you are, and how dramatic our story is. I love that you’re looking for a flat near me and Penny. Maybe eventually we’ll be looking for a flat near Penny. I hope so. I hope we get there.

I wish you the best birthday ever. The best fucking birthday anyone on this planet has ever had, Baz. And an incredible year. And an amazing life after that. You deserve it. I’ll be there to share that year and that life with you, for as long as I can.

Well. If all goes according to plan, you’ll be reading this in front of your family, and I don’t want you to sob like a baby in front of them, so I’ll stop now. But I just need you to know that you matter, so much.

Love,

Me.

There. Perfect. Simon started copying the words from the draft paper to the card.

*

Baz glanced at the recipe again to make sure. Three quarters cup of butter wasn’t going to be enough for his boyfriend. He turned back to the counter and filled the cup to the brim with melted butter.

As he poured the butter from the cup to the bowl, he heard Mordelia’s small, barefoot steps entering the kitchen, and then he was attacked from behind with a waist-height hug.

“Hey!” He turned around, pretending to be mad. “Never put your sticky little hands on my clothes again. As your punishment, you now have to help me bake.” He lifted her onto the counter and she giggled. “Here, take this and mix the batter.”

Mordelia turned to the bowl beside her and started mixing with great concentration as Baz added the rest of the ingredients. Mordelia helped him shape the batter into scones, and when they came out of the oven, round and fresh and smelling like the feeling of home and lazy mornings and butter, he let her have one.

The rest of the scones went with Baz to Simon and Penny’s flat. Baz hardly bothered to knock these days. He had a key to the flat, but since Simon was the world’s biggest airhead, the door was usually left unlocked. It was the first in a long list of things that both Baz and Penny chided him on.

He called out as he entered, but spotted Simon almost immediately, sitting at the kitchen table with a look of intense concentration. When he noticed his boyfriend, Simon quickly shoved the piece of paper he was working on under the napkin holder.

“What’s that?” Baz gestured to the table.

Simon waved his hand, trying to blow away the question, but he looked a bit worried. “It’s nothing.” He enveloped Baz in a hug and a kiss. “Are these scones for me?”

Baz nodded. “Home baked.”

Simon’s thrilled yell startled Penny out of her room. The three of them spent a cozy afternoon together, eating scones and watching movies, but Baz couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that Simon was hiding something from him.

February 14th

Valentine’s day wasn’t nearly as big a deal for mages as it was for Normals, but Simon had told Baz all about what it was like for Normals a few months ago. Apparently, they went completely out of their way to show their partners that they loved them. To Baz, it seemed kind of obvious that people liked who they’re dating. But apparently Normals bought ridiculous gifts, like huge teddy bears that were completely impractical, or much too much chocolate for one person.

Actually, in Simon’s case, there was no such thing as too much chocolate. Baz supposed the whole ordeal was kind of sweet. At least, it was sweet how excited Simon got over the holiday. So he decided to surprise him with a date.

He was currently at a Normal shopping centre, making preparations. Baz looked at the bags he was holding, wondering if anything was missing. He had bought a teddy bear (medium sized, so it could fit on Simon’s bed); a box of chocolates (not heart shaped, God forbid); a bouquet of red and white roses (these, Baz could appreciate the value of); and a box of pastries (chock-full of butter, of course). It seemed like enough, until a colorful stall caught Baz’s eye. In a clear plastic case sat a pile of colorful heart shaped candies, engraved with cheesy-sweet sentiments. Kiss me. First love. Be mine. Baz thought that some grubby little child had probably put their dirty hands all over the candy. Simon, on the other hand, would love them. Baz added a bag of the candies to his shopping pile.

Next was picking up Simon’s favorite dishes at an Italian restaurant they liked, and finally, picking Simon up and taking him on a surprise picnic in the park.

*

Simon didn’t usually bake, but since he wanted everything to be special on his boyfriend’s perfect birthday, he had announced to Penny and Agatha that he was going to make the cake himself. They had promptly laughed in his face, and then offered to teach him how to bake.

At the time, Simon had protested that there was always a recipe, and you didn’t need to learn how to bake. Now he couldn’t be happier that the girls had convinced him to make a practice cake, especially after Baz’s scones had set the bar pretty high. Apparently, there was a certain cup size you had to use for measurements, and there were different types of flour for different types of doughs, and some people (Simon included) needed to break a few eggs wrong before they could break an egg right.

So the brisk knock at the door, followed by Baz’s voice floating in, couldn’t have come at a worse time. Simon was wearing Penny’s ridiculous apron, which had the names of classical composers printed haphazardly all over it in strange angles, and he was covered in flour and a milk stain.

“Shit. What do I do?”

Agatha pulled the apron off Simon’s neck and patted most of the flour off his shirt. “Make up some excuse, if you can.”

Simon walked around the corner to the front of the house tentatively. “Hey!”

Baz flourished yet another bouquet of flowers. What had gotten into him lately? “Hello. I’ve come to steal you for a few hours.”

“Oh, it’s… it’s not the best time. Er, Agatha is here, and, erm, she and Penny really want me to bake this cake with them…. Can we please reschedule for tomorrow?”

“Actually, we can’t. You can bake a cake any other time. Oh, it smells good…” Baz started to walk towards the kitchen, but Simon quickly got in his way. “Snow, what are you doing? I would like to say hello to Penny and Agatha.”

“Snow?” Simon seemed dumbfounded. “You haven’t called me that in a while.”

Baz sighed. “I’m sorry. It just feels like you’ve been pulling away from me lately. Which makes me feel like we’re in school again. Which is one of the reasons you need to come with me right now, because I planned a lovely date for us, and the food is getting cold.”

Simon ran a hand through his hair, mussing up the curls. “Give me three minutes, and then we can leave, okay? This is really sweet. Thank you.”

“Alright. I’ll say hello to the girls and then wait in the car. I’m not sure that it isn’t going to get towed away.”

“Erm, no. I – I need three minutes first, and then you can say hello.” Simon hurried into the kitchen and shut the door firmly behind him, feeling very guilty. “Ladies. We need to wrap this up. I told him we were baking a cake, but he probably expects something much… smaller than this.”

Penny looked back and forth between the multi-layered cake and the door, behind which stood Baz. “We’re just about done. It needs to go into the refrigerator for a few hours.”

Agatha shook her head. “He might want to see it if it’s in the refrigerator.” She picked the cake up carefully and slid it gracefully into the oven.

Penny, ever the rule stickler, looked shocked. “You – you can’t. It’s a chilled cake.”

“Just trust me, okay?” She shut the oven door just as Baz opened the door.

“Simon, this is ridiculous. Hello, Wellbelove, Bunce. Please tell my idiot boyfriend that he can bake with you any other time, and that today is Valentine’s Day, which he was excited about, and he has to come with me before our food gets cold.”

“That sounds like kidnapping.”

Agatha, ever the peacemaker, shot Penny a glare. “I personally couldn’t agree more. We actually just put the cake in the oven, so it’s the perfect time for Simon to leave.”

“The oven… isn’t on.”

“We’re using magic. That’s why it doesn’t look turned on. Penelope wanted to practice her heating magic. Right, Penny?” Agatha sickly-sweet smile still held a remnant of the murderous glare.

“Erm… yes. Exactly. Simon, go and have fun. It is Valentine’s Day, after all. We’ve got this.”

February 24th

The last week and a half before Baz’s birthday passed uneventfully. He and Simon toured a few apartments and had some nights out, but neither one had any more steps to their plan. Simon was done with his. Baz was just exhausted and out of ideas.

*

In Simon’s opinion, Baz’s birthday passed without a hitch. He showed up at the Pitch manor at the appointed time. Breakfast, presents, and a lazy morning all went according to plan. Baz even teared up a little when reading his card.

“You’re such a sap, Sn– Simon. I– I love you too.” Baz embraced him, but Simon was practically buzzing with giddiness and pushed him off.

“Open the rest of it!”

“This gift card entitles you to–” Baz burst out laughing. “That’s incredible. I am definitely using it in the next week. And this is… jeans. These are jeans. You probably want me to change into them right now, don’t you?” Baz walked into the guest bathroom accompanied by excited cheers from both Simon and his siblings, and emerged wearing a snug pair of jeans to excited claps and whoops from his parents.

*

Later, in Baz’s room, Simon decided it was time for a little digging. “Do you… this is a bit random.” He picked at Baz’s duvet absentmindedly. “Do you still have grandmothers?”

“Daphne’s parents live an hour away. We see them once a month or so.”

“And your biological grandparents…?”

Baz shook his head minutely.

“Oh! It’s one already! I told Penny I would let her know– your dead relatives are fascinating and everything, but do you want to have lunch with the girls? Maybe Dev and Niall?”

“My dead relatives are fascinating, don’t disrespect them like that.” Baz broke out in a smile. Maybe Simon’s cold patch was over. “Sure. Let’s have lunch.”

*

Later, much later, they were walking on a lamp lit street, arms hooked together and frosty breaths mingling in the air, and Simon leaned his head on Baz’s shoulder. “I have to admit, that exhibition was actually interesting.”

“I know. Robert was a genius. But I’m still having a bit of a hard time believing that you enjoyed an art exhibition so much.” Baz could feel Simon shaking with laughter beside him, his warm body pressed to his shoulder to hip. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. He really didn’t. But… “Simon. We should talk.”

Simon picked his head up and Baz immediately missed the comforting weight on his shoulder. “Huh?”

“You’ve been distant lately. As if you don’t really want to spend time with me.”

“Don’t be silly. I love you. Here, let’s walk through this park.” Simon was barely listening, pulling on Baz’s sleeve to steer him towards a lit patch of grass.

Baz took a deep breath. “You’re avoiding my questions again. It feels… It feels like you’re hiding something from me.”

Simon stopped walking and looked back at him with sudden realization. “Something like… your birthday surprise?”

Baz squinted at the park ahead of them. Were those...?

“Don’t be silly. I would never hide anything from you. Not again.” Simon reached up and kissed Baz sweetly. “Now come on. Everybody is waiting for us. I’m in charge of bringing the birthday boy, and it’s too simple a job to mess up.”

Baz let Simon lead the way. He didn’t want him to see the ridiculous grin that he couldn’t seem to wipe off his face.

[tabloidtoc]

Star, March 1

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Humiliated Jennifer Lopez used for money and fame by Alex Rodriguez

Page 1: Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank, who is a UK ambassador for George Clooney and Rande Gerber's tequila brand, welcomed a son on February 9 at London's Portland Hospital

Page 2: Contents, Robin Thicke in front of a piano at Gold Diggers studio in L.A.

Page 3: Star Shots -- Serena Williams honored late Olympic gold medalist Florence Griffith Joyner by rocking a one-legged Nike catsuit at the first day of the Australian open, Chrissy Metz brought some vibrancy to the virtual SCAD aTVFest where she discussed This Is Us and was honored with the Vanguard Award, Olivia Culpo checked out the view before heading to the Shaq Bowl in Tampa

Page 4: Inside Britney Spears' nightmare -- a shocking new documentary exposes how Britney was used and abused by people she trusted -- Britney's unable to communicate with fans directly without permission -- fans flooded Justin Timberlake's Instagram to demand an apology for what one called profiting from trashing a woman

Page 5: Facing a lawsuit from her estranged older sister has rattled Mariah Carey -- Alison Carey alleged to a NYC court that Mariah had intentionally inflicted emotional distress by writing about her in the 2020 tell-all The Meaning of Mariah Carey and Alison is seeking $1.25 million after the singer accused her of, among other things, throwing boiling hot tea on her and trying to sell a 12-year-old Mariah to a pimp -- now Mariah has become wary of even those in her inner circle and is making longtime employees re-interview for their jobs -- Mariah's always been on the paranoid side but everyone is a suspect now and she's grilling everyone from bodyguards to chefs to stylists and household staff who have been with her for years and if anyone pushes back they are shown the door -- her great fear is that people could cross over and spill secrets to the enemy because she's been caught off guard before by those she trusted

* Catching ZZZs has become a real problem for Kelly Clarkson -- between her gig as a daytime host, trying to sell homes in Nashville and Encino, and battling her ex Brandon Blackstock over custody of their two kids, she is beyond stressed and she can't sleep and nothing works; the most shut-eye she gets is two to three hours -- it's gotten so bad she's even tried hypnotherapy but her workaholic brain outwits it -- meanwhile her legal woes including a lawsuit with her husband and ex father-in-law's talent agency are getting nastier and Brandon has told her in no uncertain terms that he's not going to stop until he gets what he wants which is a ton of money and time with the kids

* She was the most loathed mother in America and now Casey Anthony wants her say -- 10 years after she was acquitted of murdering her two-year-old daughter Caylee, Casey is making a documentary about the trial and she thinks she can clear her name -- she's not looking for sympathy but she believes she's a victim too and was unfairly convicted in the public eye -- she is planning on dropping bombshells in the doc including her take on the theory that the toddler accidentally drowned in the family pool as well as shocking secrets about her own abusive upbringing but don't expect much remorse

Page 6: Just over a year after her father Kobe Bryant and sister Gianna Bryant perished in a tragic helicopter crash, Natalia Bryant who is Kobe's oldest daughter, has signed a modeling contract with IMG Models who also represent Bella Hadid and Gigi Hadid and the just signed Inauguration standout poet Amanda Gorman

* Rumer Willis was heartbroken when her months-long relationship with Armie Hammer fizzled out in December but after harrowing reports of Armie's alleged abuse of women including asking to barbecue their ribs and carry their severed toes in his pocket, Rumer is telling friends she feels lucky -- she wanted to defend him when the cannibalism stories first came out because she thought they were outrageous and now she feels badly for all of the victims and she's really grateful she didn't get caught up in the Armie nightmare

* Star Spots the Stars -- Eva Longoria, Mandy Moore, Demi Lovato, Dan Levy, Dorinda Medley

Page 8: Star Shots -- Meg Ryan wore some wide-legged trousers and a cute cap on a nature walk in Santa Barbara, Gavin Rossdale wore pink socks while playing tennis in L.A., Ciara holding six-month-old son Win during a family getaway to Hawaii

Page 9: Delilah Belle Hamlin and Love Island's Eyal Booker removed their masks for a quick street smooch during a coffee date in L.A., Sofia Richie enjoyed some PDA with shipping heir Gil Ofer in Miami

Page 12: Kate Upton doing yoga, Tia Mowry-Hardrict and her husband Cory Hardrict shared dishwashing duty after cooking at home, Robin Roberts tasted a treat on Good Morning America in New York City

Page 13: Pregnant Brittany Cartwright brought her dog along to retrieve the mail in L.A., Victoria Justice showed off her toned tummy post-workout in L.A.

Page 14: Goldie Hawn turned quality time with granddaughter Rani into a workout toting her in a backpack, Madonna and Guy Ritchie's son Rocco Ritchie waded in during a vacation in Tulum in Mexico, Lucy Hale on a stroll with her dog Elvis in L.A.

Page 16: Chris Noth put in a day's work on The Equalizer in Paterson in New Jersey, Flavor Flav and Flo Rida at The Super Glow Super Bowl kick-off party in Tampa, Bradley Cooper kept daughter Lea close as the two ran errands in NYC

Page 17: More than a week after celebrating 18 months of sobriety Lily Allen enjoyed a snack on-the-go in London, Jessica Alba lifted her son Hayes while riding scooters with husband Cash Warren in Beverly Hills

Page 18: Normal or Not? Cody Simpson got physical with new girlfriend Marloes Stevens during a romantic getaway in St. Barts -- normal, Selling Sunset's Christine Quinn picking up a portrait of herself in L.A. -- normal, Jack Black raised Thor's hammer in a parody posted on Instagram prompting Chris Hemsworth to call it the greatest thing he's ever seen -- not normal

Page 19: The Crown's Emma Corrin looked intrigued by a leafy object she stumbled upon during a stroll in London -- not normal, Sarah Jessica Parker kicked back in heels during a break from assisting shoppers at her flagship store in NYC -- not normal

Page 20: Fashion -- stars look sweet in tiered dresses -- Maude Apatow, Logan Browning, Margot Robbie

Page 21: Julianne Moore, Camila Morrone, Saoirse Ronan

Page 24: After months of quietly dating, Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley are ready to marry and they announced it in the most low-key way possible and the couple are madly in love and feel unequivocally that this is the real deal -- Aaron and Shailene were friends long before sparks flew in August last year and having to endure a long-distance romance during football season actually made their bond stronger -- Aaron and Shailene are already planning to start a family and they're at that stage when they feel ready to be parents and are keen to have a baby

Page 25: Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles have found another dynamic duo to spend their downtime with which is Florence Pugh and Zach Braff -- the foursome hit it off on the set of Don't Worry, Darling which Olivia is directing and in which Florence and Harry star -- they have the best time together and know how to forget the world outside -- as it turns out bearing witness to Florence and Zach's happy relationship despite their 20-year age difference played a part in Olivia taking a chance on dating Harry who is nine years her junior following her split from Jason Sudeikis and seeing them together inspired Olivia to go for it with Harry and she's so glad she did

* While some couples are overwhelmed being with their kids 24/7 in lockdown, Prince William and Duchess Kate have enjoyed the extended family time with Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis -- having the kids at home during the pandemic has given Kate baby fever and she loves being around them and wants to have one more and she and William are trying for another, with Kate saying she's hoping for a girl -- as for raising four young kids, the pair are up to the challenge because Kate's a pro at multitasking and William is a devoted dad and they'll split parenting duties

* Matt Damon is hoping a change of scenery will save his rocky 17-year relationship with wife Luciana Barroso as the couple and their three girls have set up house in a lavish $7000-a-night rental in Australia's tony Byron Bay while the actor films Thor: Love and Thunder -- the beachy new surroundings are just what the couple needs after hitting a rough patch and Matt is working overtime to make sure Luciana enjoys herself Down Under by arranging date nights and buying gifts for her to open every day and even when he's working he's got time set aside for just them and the gestures seem to be working and it's the shot in the arm they both needed

Page 26: Cover Story -- Jennifer Lopez humiliated and used -- shocking cheating allegations rock J.Lo's world as fiance Alex Rodriguez's mistress Madison LeCroy tells all -- while Jennifer is putting on a brave face the affair rumors are devastating to her whether she admits it or not -- after revealing she and Alex exchanged DMs Madison said she doesn't want anything bad for his family or for hers -- Alex says it was innocent and that nothing happened but Jennifer is not fully buying it -- Jennifer and Alex's relationship is personal but it's also business; together, their fortunes have doubled

Page 30: Chip and Joanna Gaines -- inside our farmhouse reno -- Chip and Jo are expanding and renovating their Waco home and it may be their toughest job yet

Page 32: Celeb Parenting Fails -- these celebrity moms and dads share their hilarious hapless moments -- Anne Hathaway, Brad Pitt

Page 33: Willie Geist, Mila Kunis, Pink

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Despite it being her first concert in over a year, Miley Cyrus was ready to rock while headlining the TikTok Tailgate Super Bowl pre-show event in Tampa -- the show treated 7500 Florida-based healthcare workers to a set that included guest appearances by Joan Jett and Billy Idol, who both collaborated on Miley's latest album

[jujywrites]

don’t know how to say this (you’re really my dearest friend)

Valintine’s floof for Valentine’s! I wrote this some time ago for @julzlajulzjulz’s Fruits Basket zine, and... I really like it ghgfhfhfhfhfhh

AO3

FF.net

or keep reading~

***

On a February morning, Uotani Arisa woke up with an excess of energy. She dressed efficiently, pulling on a recently-bought coat (purple, with a fleece-lined collar), made sure there were instructions for the leftovers in the fridge, and left for Kaibara High with a lilt in her stride.

Not even the red decorations and explosions of hearts on nearly every storefront could dampen Arisa's mood, and she regarding the ads for chocolate (discount and otherwise) as a personal challenge. Chocolates were easy to make; store-bought chocolate was for unimaginative, lazy losers.

Rounding the corner, she spotted Tohru and Hana waiting at a crosswalk and jogged to catch up. "Yo," she said with a wave.

"Good morning, Uo-chan!" said Tohru, smiling brightly.

"Good morning," Hana echoed, nodding. It was warm enough that she could wear her lace gloves.

The light changed, and they stepped off the curb.

"Is that a new coat?" Hana adjusted her own, edged with lace around the collar. "It's a flattering color on you, Uotani."

"Hana-chan's right," said Tohru. "You should wear purple more often."

"Jeez, you'll make me blush." She chuckled, remembering how she'd felt looking at her reflection. "But I do look good, don't I? Not as—" She cut off what had been about to come out with a cough. "Not that I don't always, obviously."

Not as good as you, Saki.

Her near slip-up didn't dent her mood either. After all, Hana liked her coat.

Today's gonna be great.

~~~~~

Around lunchtime, amid chatter from her classmates about chocolate brands and chocolate ingredients and how many gifts the Prince would get, Arisa's mood had changed from determined to panic-struck.

Goddamn it, what am I doing?! I'm such a loser.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" she asked Tohru as they left the classroom for the cafeteria. Hana was (Arisa looked over her shoulder) talking with Carrots, of all people.

Tohru barely agreed before Arisa dragged her out of the crowd with an iron grip.

"You gotta help me," Arisa said, far more frantically than she'd intended. "There's-" she swallowed some words, "someone I like, and I wanna make chocolate and I have no idea how!"

Tohru's confused expression gave way to pure joy. "Uo-chan, how exciting! Of course I'll help."

"But I!" She shut her mouth, opened it again, and sighed, feeling the adrenaline leave her. "I can't decide whether Valentine's or White Day would be better."

Tohru blinked. She stepped forward, raising a gentle hand to Arisa's arm. "Is the person you like a girl?" she said, almost too soft to hear.

Cringing inwardly, Arisa nodded. She blinked at her arm being squeezed.

"You should do it whenever you like," Tohru said, voice firm.

Arisa stared. A smile took over her face without warning, and she scratched the back of her neck with a short laugh. If Tohru knew which girl…? "I guess I should stick with Valentine's. If I survive that long."

"Valentine's it is," Tohru replied with a giggle. "How about this Friday?"

"What about Friday?"

Arisa didn't yelp when Hana appeared. She did startle and say, "Nothing!" louder than necessary.

Tohru started walking, seemingly unaware. "I'm getting a head start on tomo-chocolates, and Uo-chan wanted to learn how to make some."

"Alas," Hana said, voice distant over Arisa's ringing ears, "I would join you both, but I have a prior engagement."

"That's too bad," Arisa said, shakily. "You'll miss out on me making a fool of myself."

"Don't be silly, Uo-chan," Tohru said, beaming.

"You're the least foolish person I know," Hana added.

Arisa dearly hoped she wasn't blushing.

~~~~~

Hana had once said that her wave-reading didn't reveal romantic intentions. Still, after asking Tohru for help Arisa couldn't shake the feeling that there was now a sign on her back announcing just that, never mind what her waves were doing. Hana didn't comment, and Arisa wasn't going to question why.

The shift in Arisa's feelings toward Hana had crept up on her over the new year; she still didn't know what the catalyst had been. All she knew was that February had stolen any chance of keeping them buried and there was only one thing to do. The thought of shoving those feelings back down now was infinitely more painful than the possibility of getting rejected.

But was that worth the change it might cause in their relationship? Just putting the confession out there would change things, even if Hana was gracious and Arisa was understanding. She had made peace with that possibility, hadn't she?

On the way to Tohru's house her mind had remained quiet, thanks to daydreaming about perfectly-made chocolates. She'd managed to keep most of her cool around Hana after the Monday incident. Small talk with Tohru while she got settled further filled the time; writer guy was in his study, the Prince and Carrots were AWOL and hadn't had the decency to inform Tohru why, but the soft look on her face when she mentioned how quiet they'd been lately seemed to mean she wasn't concerned.

Arisa had plenty to think of. But as soon as Tohru began telling her what equipment to get and what to put where, all those pesky concerns came back. Well! She'd beat them back with the power of knowledge.

Having failed to notice whether Hana had a preference or if she loved all kinds of chocolate with equal fervor, Arisa figured two-in-one was a safe bet. Thus, white and dark. Tohru, in her infinite wisdom, said that chocolate bark would be a good choice. And so Arisa had meticulously followed directions up to this point, where the makings for one bowl each of white and dark were ready to be melted.

"Thank god I asked you for help," she said for the twentieth time as she carried one bowl to the stove. "This would've been a disaster otherwise."

"I'm sure you would have been okay," Tohru responded for the twenty-first time, carrying the other bowl. She set it down with a smile. "Now for the fun part."

It was rather meditative, waiting for the mixture to melt enough to be stirrable. She found herself counting bubbles despite the thoughts bubbling up in her brain; she couldn't poke those out with a spoon.

She stayed quiet as she guided the mess into something recognizable; once it was smoothed out, though, her mouth had other plans. "Tohru… how do you- how would you, hypothetically..." Her words were getting tangled in the swirl of the spoon, it seemed, but she couldn't stop blathering. "If there's someone you've only given tomo-choco to, and meant it as tomo-choco… how would you handle explaining why, this year, it's honmei-choco?"

She startled at the clunk of the spoon next to her and looked up. Tohru's face seemed oddly flushed, even given the heat of the stove.

"W-Well, that is… oh, I think mine is done now! A-And yours looks good too!" She grabbed potholders and moved her bowl back to the counter, onto a hot pad.

Arisa followed, anxiety fluttering. A baking sheet had been laid out for her to pour the dark chocolate onto.

It took no time, and Tohru handed her a knife with reverence, and now it was up to her what patterns to make.

After the first spoonful of white met dark, and Arisa slide the knife into it, Tohru spoke.

"You have to have courage, that's all. If you know they don't owe it to you to return your feelings, it's not selfish to confess. It's okay to hope, but... whether they like you back or not isn't a matter of deserving something. They're their own person." Her voice was contemplative, almost unsure. But then she paused and caught Arisa's eyes. "You've known this girl for a while, right?"

"Nearly as long as I've known you," she whispered, dolloping more white in.

"Then… You'll be happy she's in your life, even if she wants to stay friends."

Arisa looked up again; Tohru wore a strangely pleading expression. "...Yeah." Then more firmly, returning to her task, "Yeah. We've been through… a lot, and I think even if she rejects me our friendship won't change."

"I hope so."

Had she spoken? No, Tohru had. Before Arisa could figure that out, Tohru was smiling widely down at her handiwork.

"It's beautiful." She took a breath. "Hana-chan will love it."

~~~~~

She put the bark into a plain box, tied with purple lace. She left it with an unsigned note in Hana's— Saki's— locker (because she was a living cliché), asking to meet her in the yard when the school day ended.

Seeing her there, with Arisa's heart in her hands, made everything Arisa had planned to say disappear.

"You should open it." She moved closer while Saki did. Close enough to touch her cheek if she were braver. Instead, she kept talking.

"This is honmei-choco. I made it. With Tohru's help, but..." She chuckled drily. "I know a heart-shaped box would've been plenty to clue you in. But I didn't just wanna buy something that looks extra pretty. This is— you're too important."

Her pulse stuttered from Saki's hand around hers, from her gentle gaze.

"I understand now why your waves have been different the last few weeks," she said. Her cheeks were pink, and Arisa forgot to breathe for a moment. "I'm glad. You were braver than me."

Another laugh, incredulous. "I was what?"

"You confessed first. I was too afraid of what might happen to our friendship if you didn't reciprocate."

"You've got it all wrong. I was terrified." She pulled her hand free of Saki's only to place it, lightly, on her shoulder. "I was just too bullheaded not to say anything. But even if I didn't feel this way…" A sudden lump was in her throat; she swallowed, blinking fiercely. "I want you to know I wouldn't give up our friendship for anything."

Saki half-smiled, and reached into the box, breaking off a small piece. "Tohru wouldn't stand for it either."

"God, of course not." She grinned back, heart pounding. "It's a moot point, anyway."

"True." Saki looked at the piece intently before putting it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, eyes closed.

Arisa waited.

Slowly, Saki opened her eyes. Slowly, she brought her hand to Arisa's cheek. "It's delicious. Thank you very much." The pink on her face bloomed crimson. "...Arisa. May I kiss you?"

The lace against her skin made her want to tremble. "Saki." She inhaled shakily. "Yes, Saki. Please."

Arisa closed her eyes and leaned down. For a few seconds, everything was sweetness and warmth.

After, Saki's hand stayed on her cheek. Arisa put her own over it. "Happy Valentine's Day, Saki. Thank you."

"The happiest." Saki's bright smile was better than any sugar rush.