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andy-solo1 · 2 years

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Heartache [Cassian Andor x Reader]

Cassian Andor x Reader

Part 1 of a 3 part fic for Cassian Andor x reader.

Warnings: Angst, Andor spoilers, brief mentions of suicide, cannon typical violence, mentions of death, cannon character death

Words: 4,554

Notes: This is the longest single chapter I’ve ever written and I poured everything I had into it. I really hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

“On program!” Kino yells and you quickly place yourself into position. You lost track of the amount of times you’d done this. The days spent toiling away, each passing by in an endless blur just like the day before. Hope was a nonexistent entity. Your only hope on any day was not being the team in last place.

You’d heard the whispers of an uprising. You’d seen the others communicating between floors, trying desperately to find a way out. But you knew it was a hopeless endeavour. There were only two ways of getting out of Narkina 5. By finishing your sentence and being freed, or in a body bag.

The officer on the level above shoved forward the latest poor soul to enter the compound and rode the small elevator down. You studied the new man, his brown eyes blown wide as he took everything in. You knew what he must be feeling, for you’d stood in his place once. And realising that this is what your fate was, was a crushing feeling indeed.

After the guard was gone and Kino gave his speech, the new guy moved in towards his table, the one next to yours as work started back up once more. You kept your eyes glued to the task before you, unwilling to let your group fall behind, to be the last team. Even as you focused on your task you could hear the murmurings of the group next to yours, curiosity driving you to pay some attention to what they were saying.

“What’s your name?” Melshi asked, probably already guiding the new guy into his work.

“Keef Girgo.” The man replied curtly, and that was the last you heard from the group as Kino snapped at them to get to work.

* * *

The flames flicked high into the sky, casting the world around you in a red glow. Your eyes strained to see anything through the flames and smoke. The same smoke that was filling your lungs, making each breath feel like another flame was burning within your lungs.

You screamed, looking all over to try and find your family. You knew they were here somewhere within the flamed wreckage of what had once been a peaceful village.

Someone far off screamed in pain and you thought you recognized their scream. You turned to go towards them when a tight, vice-like grip grabbed hold of your arm. You let out your own wailing scream of despair as the stormtrooper gripping your arm began to drag you out and away from your home.

You struggled against him with all your might, but he wouldn’t let go, rather he tightened his grip upon you. You were strong, working the soil all your life had taught you strength, but he was a trained soldier, he knew how to hold back someone who could be stronger than him. You were left weak and at his will.

The stormtrooper threw you onto a shuttle, a few others were on it with you, fellow villagers. All of them covered in soot and ash, fear blowing their eyes wide open, as you knew your own were.

Silence rang in your ears as the ramp to the shuttle raised and lifted up off the ground. Your stomach sank as the shuttle flew off, away from the fire, away from the remains of your home, away from your family.

You just knew you’d never be back again.

* * *

Keef Girgo, or rather, Cassian Andor, watched the proceedings of the prison in silence. A dull emotion had settled over him, and he wasn’t sure what it was. Hopelessness perhaps. Or, perhaps it was his resolve to find a way out no matter what, which was something he wasn’t entirely convinced wouldn’t just end with him dead. But he was willing to try.

So he observed the proceedings around him during his work shift, and even as he stood waiting in the walkways with the others in his group for the changeover of shifts, he observed. That’s how he saw one of his fellow prisoners making gestures out the window, and looking, he could see one of the other walkways, and a prisoner over there making hand signals back to the man on his side of the glass.

“What are they talking about?” Cassian asked quietly.

“Plans of escape usually, though I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Nobody escapes from here.” You whispered softly in reply. Cassian turned around to see you standing behind him, he froze for a few moments as he took in your features.

“On program!” Kino shouted, walking past the two of you and Cassian snapped back around, falling into position like the others. He knew he shouldn’t push boundaries, at least not on the first day.

“They are organising an escape?” He asked you quietly, keeping his eyes glued before him.

“They attempt to. It’s also just a way to talk between floors.” You replied quietly. “But like I said, nobody escapes, so don’t get your hopes up.”

“What other choice is there if not to try to escape?” Cassian asked. He could tell from the tone in your voice that your spirit was crushed. But he believed that escape was possible, and he was going to die trying if it came to it. He owed it to Maarva to try and get word back to her.

“Keep quiet!” Kino shouted from the front so loud Cassian almost missed your reply.

“Finish your sentence, or die in here.”

* * *

Days blended together for Cassian. He worked, trying to help prevent his team from coming in last everyday, and tried to work out escape plans with his fellow inmates who were already working on plans. At nights, before the floor would activate he would gather with the others and work out plans in hushed tones. Even though none of the prison guards would be listening in, they all agreed they didn’t need Kino yelling at them all for making up foolish plans, as he had a few times before.

Cassian was distracted from the conversation when he saw you walking past. He didn’t know why, but something about you just drew him to you.

Maybe it was the fact, that even though everyone here had a sense of hopelessness to them, especially so with the increased sentence times, you seemed to be so much more devoid of life than any of the others.

Leaving the conversation, Cassian stood outside the opening to your sleeping quarters, the one next door to his. You looked at him, quirking your brow in question.

“Why don’t you want to escape?” Cassian asked you. He’d asked the question of a few others, and mostly he’d gotten to learn that if they could, they’d want out.

“There is no escaping from here.” You replied flatly.

“And what if you could. Wouldn’t you want to?” He pressed. He didn’t know why he was so persistent with you. But he wanted to know you, wanted to know everyone around him really, but especially you.

“Do you have someone at home to go back to?” You asked him instead of answering.

“I do. I have my mother.” He replied. He looked into your gaze, and for the first time since he’d been there, he saw more than just blank despair. He saw pain, raw and true flicker across your features. As you opened your mouth to say something to him, a voice rang out above them all, warning prisoners to return to their cells before the floor became active.

You turned your back on him and he watched you for a few more moments before quickly moving over into his cell just before the lights went dark and the floor went live.

* * *

The shuttle landed down on some planet. You didn’t know where you were. You had never before left your home, never even left your village, and now, here you were, being ushered off a shuttle by stormtroopers, scared and practically alone. The other villagers were with you, but like yourself, they were all silent, fear and anguish gripping their tongues tightly.

The stormtroopers lead you all into a large building and had you all wait in a line before who you quickly came to realise was a judge. The stamping of the sentence tickets rang out in your head, like a guillotine dropping over the necks of everyone she sentenced.

Finally it was your turn on the chopping block as you stepped up before the judge. You repeated your name out to the judge before she read out your sentence, your stomach dropping out from your gut.

“Guilty of rebellion against the empire. Six years.” She stated, and down came the sentence stamp. The clang of the metal being engraved ringing in your ears as your whole body and mind went numb.

You awoke with a gasp in a pool of your own sweat. You could feel it across your back and dripping down your forehead. Standing up you stumbled forward to the edge of your cell, trying to get some cooler feeling air as you tried to shake the memory from your mind.

Your whole body shook as silent tears began to fall and you slid down the wall until you were sitting right on the edge of the floor. You let out a choked sob and you faintly heard the sounds of someone moving on the other side of the wall.

“Are you alright?” You heard someone whisper quietly and it took you a moment to realise it was Keef. You took a long, shaky breath before answering.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” You replied quietly, lying to both yourself and him.

“But, you are crying.” He replied, sympathy in his voice. You were both silent for a few moments after that. You turned your head to gaze blankly at the red lights on the floor as tears still flowed freely down your face.

“Have you ever lost anyone?” You asked, so quietly you weren’t sure he’d even hear you.

“Yes. I lost my father. And I’ve seen the deaths of others around me.” He answered honestly. “What about you?”

“I lost my whole family. I don’t know for sure if they died, but deep down. I know they’re gone.” You replied, voice cracking as fresh tears rolled down your face in heavy waves. “They’re all gone.” You sobbed. “My parents, my brother, everyone. They’re all dead. They’re all gone. I’ll never see them again and it’s all because of this blasted empire.”

You put your head in your hands and cried. You cried until you didn’t think any liquid was left in your body. Keef had been silent so long you’d almost even forgotten about him when he finally spoke up again.

“The empire is the reason my father died. The reason why I was not able to stay with my mother. They’re why I’m here now. I understand loss, but yours is a greater loss than I could know. I am sorry for that.” He said quietly. You knew he meant well, trying to comfort you, but the words fell hollow and heavy on your heart, so wrung through with pain that it surprised you when you felt a small flicker of warmth and appreciation for the man.

“Thank you Keef.” You whispered softly, wiping away the remainder of your tears.

“Cassian.”

“What?”

“My name. It’s not Keef. It’s Cassian. Cassian Andor.”

“Well thank you Cassian. And, your secret is safe with me.”

* * *

Something was deeply wrong. Everyone could feel it. Taga was frantically trying to communicate with the other floors as panic levels rose within everyone.

Panic gripped your heart like an icy vice, sinking its talons in deep and making your blood feel cold as it coursed through your veins.

“What’s going on?” Cassian asked from Taga’s side, looking out at the other floors despite not being able to translate the hand gestures himself.

“Something’s happening on 2.” Taga replied, panic lacing his tone as he continued trying to communicate with the others.

“Everyone calm down.” Kino ordered, though even he had a note of panic in his tone. That was something that worried you deeply. The floor manager never once showed panic or fear, but now. Now you knew things were really wrong if even Kino was impacted.

“What is going on?” Someone yelled.

“I don’t know. Something’s happening on 2 but nobody can say what.” Taga replied, more panic in his tone than before. You could practically feel the fear in the air now. Everyone was on edge and nobody knew what to do.

Suddenly the voice of your captors came over the speakers, calling for all prisoners to get on program or face consequences. Everyone was in too much of a panicked state to process the order at first.

“Get on program, now.” Kino ordered, pulling people away from the windows. Soon they were all complying, standing still with your hands on your heads.

“What happened?” Cassian hissed.

“Be quiet.” Kino snapped, not turning around to look at him.

“They’re all dead. They killed the whole floor.” Taga replied quietly. Shock fell through the group and you felt like you could breathe anymore. Each breath was an effort for you as you followed the others in the lineup towards your sleeping area.

Panic held you tightly in its clutches as your mind ran wild. The only reason you could think of for them killing a whole prison floor was that they found out that they, like those on your floor, wanted to find a way to escape.

Numbly, you barely even registered you were back standing before your cell, taking a few moments to realise where you were. Cassian started to walk past you and you snapped. You were beginning to care for the man, having had other late night talks with him when neither of you could find any comfort in sleep. And now, with these new events, you didn’t want the man to wind up dead, much less bringing all the others to the grave with him.

“You realise why they killed them!” You snapped, moving to stand before Cassian. He looked at you, slightly bewildered at your sudden change in mood and tone. He’d never heard you speak in more than a hushed tone, and definitely not with so much venom in your voice.

“Why?” He asked quietly.

“Because they must have found out they were looking for a way to escape. Why else would they kill an entire floor? You need to stop this, you’re going to get yourself and everyone else around you here killed.”

“We don’t know that that’s why they killed them all. And I’d rather die trying to get free then let them break me in here trying to work for a freedom that may never come.”

The blood was roaring so loudly in your ears that you didn’t hear the warnings for the floor. You didn’t hear Kino yelling for you to get into your cell, now.

The next thing you knew, your arm was being grabbed and you were pulled up against someone’s chest, just as the lights in the room went dark and floor went live.

Your breath came out in ragged gasps, the rage and anguish that gripped you before dissipating as you stared at the spot on the floor where you’d been moments before, the same spot of floor that now ran with an electrical current, set to kill anyone who dared touch it.

Slowly you turned your head to look up at Cassian. He still held a loose grip of your arm, hand just above the elbow. Your chests were nearly touching, but closest of all was his face, his mouth close enough to you that you could feel his breath fanning across you. Your heart thrummed in your chest, and you were certain that he could hear it. For the first time in a long time, you truly felt alive.

However, the moment was over before it could even truly begin as Cassian slowly let his hand fall back to his side and took a step back in the already small space. The pounding of your heart slowed back down and the feelings subsided, leaving you back to your bleak world, as though the colour had been leached back out of your life right after being able to see it again for the first time in a very long time.

“You can take the bed for the night since you’re stuck here.” He offered quietly, and you nodded mutely in response. All the emotions from before and the near death experience as well as the odd swell of emotions from being faced so close to Cassian left you feeling numb.

You lay down on the bed and find sleep a hard thing to come by. The events of the day left your soul feeling raw, and your heart feeling numb. Eventually your eyes became too heavy to hold open and you drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

The dreams were different this time. Rather than reliving the events as they happened, you could move around, and you weren’t sure if that was worse.

You watched as the stranger approached your village, injured and weakened. Your mother, always a kind woman with an open heart for anyone, helped the man into your home. You learned little about him, but it was clear he was hiding from something and despite protests on your part, your mother insisted on keeping the stranger and helping him.

Then they came.

You screamed and tried to stop them as they marched towards your home. They carried on walking, despite all your efforts and you watched helpless as they banged on your door. It was odd, seeing yourself opening the door, watching as your eyes widened in fear and called for your mother just as you had that day.

You disappeared from the doorframe and your mother appeared instead.

“What can I help you with?” She asked politely, calm even then.

“You are harbouring a fugitive of the empire. Return him and the punishment will not be as severe as it can be.” The leading stormtrooper replied.

“I’m sorry. We have nobody here like that.” Your mother replied, lying to the stormtroopers. You closed your eyes, tears falling because you knew what came next.

The stormtroopers searched your home from top to bottom, but found nothing because your mother had moved the stranger next door when reports came to her of the approaching stormtroopers.

The same stormtroopers who returned later that day and began to burn everything down.

You were helpless to do anything but watch as your brother stormed towards the Stormtroopers, begging them to stop and blocking them from getting to a home. The home of his Fiance that he’d so proudly asked to marry him just that morning and you’d all been so happy about. That happiness felt a lifetime away now.

A scream was ripped from your throat as the lead stormtrooper casually pulled out a blaster and shot your brother down. A single shot to the head and the stormtroopers stepped over the still warm body of your brother, smoke curling up from the wound, and began to set fire to the house. The screams from inside the home echoed in your mind as you stared down at the face of your brother, a look of fear and anguish permanently frozen on his features.

Once more you woke, drenched deeply in sweat. You were shaking and tears were rolling freely down your face. You exited the bed, stepping carefully over Cassian who was asleep on the floor and walked to the edge of the cell.

You leaned forward, staring down at the floor. Every nerve and fibre in your being told you to do it. All it would take was just one step. Then you could finally be free from everything. You lifted one foot and started to move forward.

A tight grip on your arm came suddenly and pulled you back into the cell and flush up against Cassian’s chest once more. His breath came in ragged gasps of panic across your face and you could see the fear in his brown eyes.

You broke down sobbing, burying your head against his chest as his arms moved to encircle you. He gently rubbed your back as you cried. He knew to just let you get it out of your system and wait for you to be ready to talk.

“I’m such a hypocrite.” You sobbed against his chest after a while, the tears had resided some, though you were still crying. “I was so mad about a whole floor being killed, but then I-” you broke off into sobs again.

“You are not a hypocrite. Hearing about the deaths of others is always a hard thing. And I don’t know what drove you to this, but I know you must have had your reasons.” Cassian replied quietly. He slipped a hand under your chin and tilted your head back to look at him “But please, promise me you won’t try this again. I care about you, and if that means nothing, then just hold onto the fact that if you can get one person to care, you could get someone who you care about to care too.”

It took you a while to process his words, gazing up into his soft brown eyes, you could see the care he’d come to hold for you in the time he’d been here shining in his gaze. You leaned in closer, heart pounding in your chest in a different way that it had been before. Cassian closed the final distance between the two of you.

His lips were soft and warm against yours as your eyes fluttered shut, leaning into the kiss. You moved your hands up to hold the back of his head while his hands moved to cusp the sides of your face. Everything about the moment was pleasantly warm, and that warmth filled your heart, chasing away the lingering curls of the sadness from before.

Eventually the two of you parted, though still remained close in each other's arms. You opened your eyes to look up at him, and saw a small smile curling his lips. A smile came to your own lips.

“Please, promise me you’ll stay for me.” He whispered softly. “Don’t leave me.”

“I promise.”

* * *

Your heart was racing in your chest as you followed Cassian and Kino through the halls. Adrenaline fueled you and the three of you ran towards the command centre. So far, Cassian’s escape plan was actually working.

Ulaf’s death had spurred things into action and now, now that freedom was so close you could nearly taste it, you actually felt hopeful.

Cassian kept you close to him as you went. He carried a blaster and took out any guards you came across for you. He knew you couldn’t handle killing anyone and he wasn’t going to force you to make that choice.

When you reached the command room you stuck close behind Cassian, listening as Kino made his speech. Everything Kino said set your blood ablaze, giving you a newer will to get free.

When the three of you left the room, you were all chanting, so was everyone else in the building.

“One way out!”

“ONE WAY OUT!”

The flow of people pushing past you was strong. You got separated from Kino and Cassian as people pushed past you, and pushed you closer to the edge of the prison. You didn’t even get your own chance to jump as the waves of people pushed you over the edge.

Hitting the water was a shock on your system, and your head slipped under the water for a few moments. The sudden cold stunned you for a few moments before instinct kicked in and you swam your way up to the surface, gasping for air as you got your head above water. People were all around you, swimming as fast as they could to get away from the building. Your heart tightened in your chest as you looked around in a panic.

“Cassian!” You screamed, trying to find him. You didn’t know if he’d hear you over the sounds of the waves and the people swimming through them but you had to try. “Cassian!” You screamed again, turning around to look the other way.

You were about to give up when you finally saw him, and he was clearly looking around for you too. He looked over and spotted you and he quickly went over to you, Melshi with him as well. Together again, the three of you began to swim, just like all the others.

Away from the prison. Away from the pain. Away from the empire.

* * *

Niamos was a quiet planet, especially now as the sun was setting before you. You stood next to Melshi, watching your first sunset in years. Your new stolen clothes feel so much more comfortable against your skin than the prison uniform ever had. Glancing back towards Cassian, you watched him talking on the phone for a moment, trying to contact his mother to let her know he was okay.

“We might be the only ones who made it.” Melshi said quietly next to you, drawing your attention towards him.

“I still can’t believe we made it.” You replied softly, and he gave a small smile.

“One way out. And we found it.” He replied, before looking to Cassian as he came over to join the two of you. “Everything okay?”

Cassian nodded “Yeah, it’s fine.” You could tell that he was lying, but you weren’t going to press him, not right now.

“We need to let people know about what happened.” Melshi said and Cassian nodded in agreement. “I think we should split up, get the word out. If they were moving prisoners around on Narkina 5 they’re probably doing it in other prisons too.”

“I agree. People need to know what happened.” Cassian said, and he pulled Melshi into a hug. The two embraced before parting. Melshi gave you a hug as well before Cassian gave him a blaster and the two of you watched as Melshi took off on his own.

“My mother died.” Cassian told you, long after you’d stopped seeing Melshi in the distance.

“Oh Cas, I’m so sorry.” You replied, turning to look at him.

“I’m going back to see her funeral.”

“Then I’m coming with you.”

“No, the empire is there. I can handle myself but please, don’t come. If they get me, I can find my way out again. I don’t want to put you through that again though. Promise me you will wait for me.” He says quietly.

“I promise.” You whisper, and he pulls you close in his arms, pressing his lips to yours. Heat fills you once more, and this time, there are no others who could see the two of you around.

Cassian gives you a night of love and passion. And even though your mind is distracted by everything about him, deep down you knew.

You knew in your heart that when you woke in the morning he would already be gone. In his place was a note with just three words.

‘Wait for me’

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canonskyrissian · 1 year

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🔥 the sequels? Anything about them tbh, I just wanna hear your hot takes about them 😂

oh boy do I have Thoughts™. some of these are unpopular, some are popular, but I'm not here to discriminate

the entire thing should've had at least a rough plan before they even started to make tfa. the problems that the cursed movie and tros had were mainly caused by the fact that no one planned anything for shit beyond tfa

the problems the shitshow trilogy had reflect directly to the problems everything made after it has

ruin johnson is a hack writer and hack director who doesn't understand star wars for shit

I will never understand why they felt the needs to separate the original squad like that

if you're gonna write a sequel, don't just recycle what came before. I still love tfa but can agree it was too much of an anh rehash

speaking of recycling, don't recycle every single mistake made in the earlier installments jesus fuck

if they wanted rey to be a nobody then don't give her all those luke parallels!

lando was criminally underused

rose tico deserves better now and forever

kyle ron did not deserve any kind of redemption, especially not by hallucinating his father who he killed after his mother dies for him

speaking of, han and leia deserved a better child and I wish kaydel ko connix had been their canonical daughter

poe had a canonical backstory in the comics that could've easily been referenced with a line or two, why the fuck did they feel the need to retcon it???? and make it worse?????

finn's storyline in the cursed movie is just his storyline in tfa with some extra steps

rey's storyline in the cursed movie is just her storyline in tfa with some extra steps

finn should've lead a stormtrooper uprising

LET SKEEVY SHEEVY STAY DEAD AND KYLE BE THE MAIN VILLAIN JESUS FUCK

I love parallels and callbacks but they have to mean something. don't just slap them in and call it a day

if you're gonna boast about having a diverse™ cast then don't make the white male villain your main character and actually treat your characters of color well

lucasfilm didn't do shit to protect john boyega and kelly marie tran from bigoted harassment and I will forever hate them for it (I know daisy ridley and oscar isaac also got some but john and kelly were especially targeted throughout the run)

all the characters, even the villains who I hate, deserve a better story

send me a 🔥 for unpopular opinions (please give me a topic)

#replies #shrinkthisviolet #sw asks #unpopular opinions #kind of #idk how unpopular these are #anti sequel trilogy

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oh-three · 2 years

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Andor

They would call the episode Rix Road. Not only is that where I bet everything will go down, but the road's been mentioned so much that I'm happy to see it named as a show of how significant it is.

The title theme for this episode speaks doom.

Dedra taking a shuttle to Ferrix and landing beside one of the Rogue One cargo shuttles. Subtle...

Cassian's friends remaining loyal to him even as their planet's fallen so deep beneath Imperial rule...love them. Even Paak's son, I'm curious what he's up to.

"He can't hear me." Oh, Perrin, if only you knew. Fucking Kloris.

Either Vel or Cinta is going to die, I'm calling it. (I'm personally going for Cinta, since we've seen so much of Vel and have been learning about who she is vs Cinta)

Omg, Clem flashback

Rancor dogs????????????????

Shit, I forgot Cassian doesn't know about Bix. He's missed a lot.

NEMIK 😭 Thank you for inspiring Cassian- for giving him hope- even after your death 😭

Ahh, Kloris is spying for Blevin. That makes sense, I was wondering if we'd see him again. He'd seemed to important to be pushed aside by even Dedra.

Rip Kreegyr

Maarva's message 😭

Nothing is funnier to me than Mossk coming back to Ferrix with Syril

Oh, Luthen's come back to. Literally everyone expect for Mon and those related to her situation. But he actually wants Cassian dead. Wow.

Jesus Christ, the people of Ferrix have music talent. This is a funeral worth remembering. It's gonna turn into an uprising though, isn't it?

I knew something was off about that one guy. Helping the ISB dude.

Imagine Cassian wasn't on Ferrix and everyone was there for no reason. Kinda funny, since Dedra brought death troopers.

ISB is gonna lose Cassian because they try to kill him against orders, I just know it.

Bix is coming back to herself, I think.

Oh my god, Maarva, what have you done. Yeah, uprising on the way for sure. She's inspiring them with this one. Damn, that speech.

Called it.

Oh shit, Paak's kid built a bomb. Pretty scary one, too.

Oh hey, stormtroopers.

I have a feeling Ferrix isn't recovering from this one.

How the hell did Bee survive the explosion???

Lmao Cinta stabbing the ISB guy

Way to go, bell tower guy!

Oh my god, Syril saving Dedra. I hate him.

Fuck, Cass is never seeing Bee again, is he 😭

Aww, Bix. ❤ She deserved so much better.

Oh great, Mon actually agreed to it. I knew it was coming, but wow.

The parallel clip of Luthen riding across the badlands of Ferrix vs episode three. Kinda expected Cassian to be waiting for him ngl

"Kill me, or take me in." PERFECT FUCKING ENDING.

So, Narkina Five was helping build the Death Star. Kinda knew it, but it's still chilling to see. And the fact that it's nearly done.

#andor finale #andor spoilers #andor

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merrysithmas · 2 years

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I realized that I'm kind of surprised that Palps didn't remove the chips from the clones after Order 66. The trauma and guilt alone from killing their Jedi would be enough fuel for the dark side for a long time. Although, on the other hand, there would also be an uprising in mutiny, desertion, and assassination attempts on his life if all the clones suddenly remembered who they were.

yeah and definitely they'd also try with 100% certainty and to the death to save Anakin (Vader), their beloved general and friend. they'd literally stop at nothing to free him from Palpatine's slavery and torment, and die trying. and they'd defend every last Jedi until their dying breath.

i wonder if clones were "phased out" and replaced with enlisted or kidnapped Stormtroopers because Palpatine feared some of them overcoming the chips like Rex did, or if he feared Anakin's attachment to them as the 501 because Anakin did break through Vader occasionally to have brotherhood or empathy with the clones.

#ask #anon #sw asks #anakin skywalker

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takadasaiko · 2 years

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A Flicker of Light, Chapter Five (a Star Wars fic)

Story Summary: A canon divergent AU in which Luke Skywalker is raised within the Empire to be either his father's heir as a Sith Lord… or his replacement.

Chapter Summary: Luke is sent out on his first mission off-planet with Mara.

FFN I AO3

There were times that Mara wondered just how much the people around them knew. From the staff at the palace to the pilot flying them and the small collection of stormtroopers to be dropped off along with - but never responsible for - two twelve-year-olds on the planet, did they ever ask questions? Did they know who they were, what they were doing? She didn't think so. The Emperor functioned on a need-to-know basis, and those around him had to rely on - to trust - that he had the bigger picture.

It was that trust in a larger plan that had demanded that Vader send Natus off with her after suffering retribution for his failures, and, Mara cautiously assumed, trust in the larger plan that had eventually bent his knee to the Emperor's demands. Granted, he'd nearly choked the life out of her when she'd come to collect his son, but the end result was the same. Trust was given, even if that was the only available choice to make.

Though that didn't necessarily extend to her. Natus had talked his father out of killing her and had gone with her without a fight, but the usual excitement had washed out of him and there was nothing friendly in the cold look he gave her, if he looked her way at all. He hadn't initiated conversation and hadn't bothered to ask where they were going. The real worry came when he boarded the ship and hadn't needed to be run off from the cockpit. While his father had been giving him flying lessons, he never left Coruscant's atmosphere. No matter the reason, Mara had thought he would want to see their jump to hyperspace firsthand. Instead he'd found an alcove and sat with his eyes closed in what looked like a meditative state. Fantastic. The kid that never seemed to stop preferred to meditate than talk with her. That boded well for the mission.

Mara watched him from the short passage she'd taken from the cockpit. She pursed her lips and drew in a breath. She'd given him all the time she could. Time to clear the air.

"We'll be coming out of hyperspace in a couple hours," she said by way of greeting. "You should get caught up."

"I take it I need to know this time?" he asked without opening his eyes.

Mara snorted at that. "Listen, I get you're not happy with me —"

Blue eyes snapped open and there was a sharpness in his voice that matched his expression. "You don't matter. It's your Madter that doesn't think I'm ready. You're just his eyes and ears. You proved that much."

She tried not to grimace at the razor sharp words. "Natus…. Luke."

There was a flash of anger in his eyes and her skin tingled as she felt a brief pressure from the Force pushing in around her, reacting to his mood. "You're not going to manipulate me."

"I'm not trying to," she answered, trying to keep her voice calm. There was very little about him that reminded her of his father until that moment. Under the boyish features ran an incredible amount of power, and while she had her own set of talents, she knew she couldn't match him in the Force. If he was going to start developing the same paranoid streak his father had, there was no telling if she'd live long enough to prove she wasn't his enemy.

"What's the mission?"

She blinked, startled out of her thoughts. With a small sigh she pulled a datapad from her pocket and took a seat on the floor with him so that he could see as well. He wanted to act like she hadn't been his only friend for years? Fine. She could be professional about this.

"The planet is called Myrkr," she explained, the datapad zeroing in on the planet in question. "Type One atmosphere, forest covering most of the terrain, inhabited."

"It says we already have control over it. So what? There's an uprising?"

Mara swallowed the snort she normally would have given him. He wouldn't take it as their normal teasing today. "That's more your dad's area of expertise. You and I are going in to confirm a rumour."

Natus - because apparently she was only allowed to refer to him by his real name if she was in his good graces - scrunched his nose. "That's a waste of talent."

"You want to tell the Emperor that or should I?" She felt his reaction a fraction of a second before his head snapped up to glare at her and she raised her hands in mock surrender. "I don't mean literally. I just mean that he didn't tell me why, just assigned the mission. If he gave it to me - to us - there's a reason."

"You trust him."

"Of course." She swallowed down all the reasons why that he wouldn't be ready to hear in that moment. If the Emperor was right - and he always was - about his split loyalties, then she had to ease him into the understanding. She had to show him. Otherwise she'd drive him further away and she wasn't willing to dwell on what that would lead to. She slid her finger across the screen, pulling up the next page of data that included a holo that popped up of a small, lizard-like creatures. "These little guys are what we're looking for. The ysalamiri. Supposedly they reside in the jungle."

Now Natus looked even more insulted. "Anyone could verify they're there."

"He wanted us."

"He wanted you."

Mara let a small smirk touch her lips. "Exactly. That's how you know he needs his best."

—-

Luke squinted against the bright sun as they exited the shuttle on a small landing platform and adjusted the pack that Mara had tossed his direction on one shoulder. Inside, tucked between supplies, was his lightsaber. He'd been informed that it was too conspicuous to wear in the open without the dark cloak he typically wore on their adventures in the lower levels of Coruscant to hide it. He felt naked without it - exposed - and he resisted the urge to touch the bond he shared with his father for reassurance and guidance. If he truly wanted to travel with his father on the Executioner, he had to learn to hold his own in any part of the galaxy. That meant against enemies seen and unseen. Against any obstacle. He took a breath, his goal in mind, and he allowed it to sharpen his resolve. His lightsaber wasn't his only weapon, and any enemy that found him would learn that all too quickly.

Locals lingered at the edges of the permacrete as if they thought they were being inconspicuous, watching stormtroopers march out onto their world. There was an unease that flickered through them, their attention fixated on the white-clad soldiers as they whispered amongst themselves. Why, Luke wasn't sure. There were countless stormtroopers on Coruscant and only the tiniest fraction visible here. They kept the peace. The people should be relieved, not afraid.

It didn't matter. They didn't matter. Getting to the creatures - the ysalamiri - and confirming whatever rumour Mara had been tasked to confirm was all he needed to focus on. He didn't have time for distractions.

Speaking of… Luke moved to where Mara was quietly looking between her datapad and the thick foliage in the distance. "Exactly what rumour are we supposed to be confirming?"

"Not beneath you anymore?" she popped off, not bothering to look at him and he bristled. She didn't have any right to be mad at him in all of this. She was the one that had broken confidence and he and his father were punished for it.

He set his jaw. "I'm just not interested in being caught unprepared."

Mara's datapad chimed and she sighed, finally looking up. "I don't know the details because the intel didn't provide them. An ISB agent caught a transmission and was able to decrypt part of it, but not enough to know more than, if these things exist, they're worth an exceptional price on the black market. The kind of price people only pay for weapons. We're supposed to confirm that the ysalamiri are actually here and see if it's worth sending a retrieval team in."

Well, now that he knew more, it sounded like even more of a waste of time. And maybe it was. Maybe the whole point was to see if Luke would follow Palpatine's orders and how he'd react paired with someone he no longer trusted. Maybe this was his test. "In there?" he asked, motioning to the trees.

"It looks like the way."

The two almost-teens started towards the outside of town in silence. With the arrival of stormtroopers, no one paid any attention to them and they made it to the forest in just under half an hour, which was quicker than Luke would have predicted. The foliage was thick, tendrils of plants he'd never seen in either the Palace gardens or in planetary studies reached out from beneath. While they were likely reaching for the sun beyond the shade of the other growth, Luke couldn't help but feel like it was reaching for them. There was something strange that he couldn't quite put his finger on, and it lay beyond what they could see. If Mara felt it, she didn't show it. Instead she started picking her way along the edge, looking for the opening to make her way inside.

Luke let his gaze sweep the treeline, the sounds of the forest filling his ears. He pulled in a deep breath as he let his eyes flutter closed, reaching out with his senses and letting the noise blur together and pull him in. It felt…. thick. Congested. So much so that he felt like he was running into a wall not too deep into the forest.

Mara's curse pulled him out of the moment and he saw where she was sucking on the side of her hand like a thorn had snagged her. Without warning, he reached forward and tugged at a nearby branch with the Force, ripping it from its tree and sending it and the wall of vines clinging to it crashing down. Mara jumped back with a surprised yelp before she whipped around. "Some warning next time?"

"Pay attention then," he snapped back and strode past her, feeling a bit more smug over her boiling frustration than the situation probably warranted. For half a beat, he thought she might lash back out, but instead he just heard her push a breath out through her nose and stalk after him.

"Did you feel anything?" she asked after several moments of wordless walking, even if not quiet. There was no way to keep their steps completely silent against the thick underbrush biting at their boots.

"Something," he acknowledged. "Not sure what though. You?"

He could practically feel her frown. "There's a lot of noise."

On instinct, he almost started to walk her through how to filter some of it out. They had always helped each other before, sharing bits of knowledge that the other lacked. But then she'd taken the trust he'd given her and handed it straight over to Palpatine. She'd put his father at risk. She'd put him at risk. She didn't deserve his help.

He turned to look at the thick forest ahead of them. They could make it through, but unless they knew where they were going, they'd be wandering aimlessly. Even as he paused, she pushed ahead, pulling her datapad out to supplement what she couldn't feel through the Force. Not willing to be left behind, Luke followed, jogging a couple of steps to catch up with her quick stride and reaching out to try to get some sense through the thicket.

And then it crashed into him hard enough that he stumbled. He reached out, fingers searching on instinct for some sort of invisible forcefield that would have caused his body to react that way, but there was nothing there. He looked to Mara who had also stopped, and he reached out to get a feel for if she'd been hit by it too or if she'd merely stopped because he had.

There was nothing.

Luke blinked hard, stretching out again, but he couldn't feel her. He couldn't feel anything through the Force. It was like suddenly going blind and deaf. Fear crept up and he swung the bag around, reaching for his weapon even as Mara tilted her head curiously.

"Interesting," she murmured and took two steps back in the way they'd come. She looked around before motioning. "Come here."

Fingers grasping his lightsaber, and Luke kept his thumb close to the trigger as he swung the pack back around and followed Mara's instructions, confusion overwhelming his earlier need to be obstinate for obstinacy's sake. As quickly as he had lost his connection, it came flooding back, and his fear hardened into anger as he turned on her. "What the hells is that?"

"I don't know. The forest, maybe? Something blocked our connection to the Force." She reached into the folds of her tunic and removed her lightsaber. He watched her step forward, step back, then to the side as she tested the limitations.

"It can't be the trees," Luke murmured, gaze sweeping upward. "They're the same kind we've seen since we entered."

"Something else then," she answered and her purple blade snap-hissed into existence. She swung it forward, lightly marking a tree. She moved again and marked a second one. Then she stepped back through the invisible wall and glanced back thoughtfully. "Your training may have focused more on it… is there any weapon that can nullify the Force?"

"No," he answered immediately. "It's in everything."

"I mean, I know that, but maybe it can be… contained? I don't know."

"What are you thinking? The ysalamiri are doing it?"

"Maybe. They're supposed to be a weapon right? And the Emperor wanted two Force sensitives to confirm the rumours." She started forward again.

Luke didn't dare cross the threshold again. "Consider it confirmed."

She turned a look on him like he'd lost his mind. "We haven't confirmed anything. We haven't even seen one."

"Then let's find another way in," he pressed, looking down the way. Maybe it was the trees. Who knew what was hidden in all of this?

"You really are reliant on it, aren't you?"

"What?"

"You can't do anything without the Force."

"Of course I can!"

Mara snorted. "Good. Then you won't slow me down."

Luke stared at her as she practically bounded deeper into the forest, clearly pleased that she thought she had the advantage. It wasn't that, he told himself. Not at all. He just had a bad feeling about this. A bad feeling that stayed with him even as he crossed the barrier and felt the punch to the gut that was being cut off from the Force. And it stayed with him as he and Mara trudged deeper into the forest.

—-

She had been more curious about it than worried. Hells, Natus was worried enough for both of them. The further they made their way into the forest - both with their lightsabers drawn and clearing a path forward at this point - the more the silence weighed on her. Not the auditory silence. Every sound still screamed in her ears, making it hard to rely on her hearing for any forewarning of danger, but the silence in the Force that had begun to feel like a wet blanket draped over her face. It was thick and warm in all the wrong ways, limiting her view and throwing off her senses. Mara had given Natus grief before about his reliance on the Force, but - and she wouldn't dare admit it to him - she was finding herself right there with him.

A creature scurried off to their left and both of them turned, lightsabers held ready and Mara reached for a blaster she had holstered at her hip. They stood still for a long, tense moment before nothing happened. Natus was the first to let his guard drop and she followed suit, begrudgingly reminding herself that her instinct to follow his Force sensitivity above hers was null and void in this place. The deeper in they went, the more she felt like her theory had to be right. They just had to prove it and they could get out of this Force-forsaken place.

They made it another standard hour before the sun set too low to safely continue. They prepared the camp, Mara directing Natus on what needed to be gathered, stacked, and situated. Once they'd gotten the fire going, they huddled on either side of it, both still shivering. Mara looked through the flames to see the strained expression etched into her - former? - friend's face. She hugged her knees a little closer. "He can't hear us, if you wanted to talk," she ventured.

Natus looked up, startled by her words or maybe just her voice. "What's there to talk about?"

Mara pursed her lips together. "I don't know, maybe the fact you blame me for something stupid?"

"I blame you for selling me out," he growled, shoulders hunching down a bit more as he bent forwards the flames. "I shouldn't have expected anything more from you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're the Emperor's Hand. That's who you're loyal to."

"That's who you're loyal to too," she reminded him.

There was a longer moment than she would have preferred before he grunted a soft affirmation. "Sure, but you didn't have to tell him about what my father did. If you'd just kept it to yourself, Palpatine wouldn't have hurt him."

Mara set her chin on her bent knees, watching him. "He would have known," she said softly.

His eyes flashed dangerously. "Not if you hadn't told him," he snapped. "Father warned me, but I didn't listen. I —"

Another sound caught their attention and both of them were on their feet in an instant, lightsabers in hand. Mara's gaze swept the dark foliage in search of the source. Across - with nothing to show for it - and then up until she saw it. High in the tree, claws hooked into the branch, a ysalamiri. She motioned up.

"Is that it?" Natus whispered.

"Yeah. I think so."

"How do we know if it's causing the… problems?"

"I don't know."

They stood there for a long moment, marveling at the creature that didn't seem to care that they were there. Their eyes were turned upward when the branches gave the barest rustle and a creature leapt forward and at them.

Mara reacted on instinct honed by her instructors rather than the Force, and swung out with her blade. It caught one of the canine creatures in the jaw, sending it yelping into the night. She held her humming blade up, ready for the next attack, but heard a cry that was all-too-human behind her. She spun, finding Natus sprawled out on the ground with his lightsaber just out of reach. The creature loomed over him, teeth bared, and for whatever reason Natus looked unable to move.

A snarl behind her was the only warning as another creature leapt out, whip-like tail snapping at her and it caught her left hand. A tingling sensation instantly spread, giving her the answer as to why Natus was still on the ground. These creatures paralyzed their prey and he had no connection to the Force to push the venom from his veins.

She sidestepped, lightsaber out to hold her own foe back as she reached for her blaster to try to take out Natus'. The creature was too smart for that and switched its trajectory. Mara gave a cry as it leapt forward. It threw her to the ground and the hilt of her lightsaber was all that she could put between its teeth and her throat.

The creature snarled in her face, straining the muscles in her arms as she struggled to hold it at bay. She swung up with her blaster, the butt of it slamming into its skull and it howled as it scurried away.

She rolled to her feet, a weapon in either hand, and she leveled her blaster at the ysalamiri. Time to test a theory.

One shot with a second for good measure and the creature fell dead to the forest floor. All at once the Force flooded her senses and it was like she could hear again. She looked up at Natus who was pinned under the creature who had already sunk its teeth into his left shoulder and looked ready to move to his neck. It didn't have the chance as power leapt off of him, slamming hard into the creature and there was a loud crack as it hit a tree. Any of its pack mates scattered at the display and Natus collapsed to one knee from where he had stood.

Mara was at his side in an instant, her voice as calm as she could muster as she swatted his hand away from the bleeding wound. "That bad?" he asked, taking a hard seat on the ground.

"I packed med supplies," she promised, a mental inventory running through her mind.

"Figured you needed to deliver me back."

His meaning caught up with her a fraction of a second later than it should have and she pressed down lightly on the wound. She thought every muscle in his body must have tensed. Served him right. "I'm worried about you, not the mission."

"Sure you're capable of that?"

She reached for her bag with the med supplies. "Listen, just because your dad's a paranoid son of a bantha herder doesn't mean you have to be. I was protecting you - and him - when I told my Master. And I want to help you now, so hold still."

She tugged at his dark tunic to get a better look at the wound and his back arched, the cry only barely swallowed. She reached for a bacta swab and dropped it, the hand that the creature had swiped at still partially numb. She switched hands and grabbed it, opening it after several tries and laying it across the wound.

There was a long moment before his muscles relaxed just a little and his chin drooped, a sigh escaping him. "Did it get you too?" he asks softly.

"Only with the tail."

"That's how it starts," he grumbled and she found blue eyes on her, only slightly unfocused. "How?"

"How did I get away?" she guessed.

"How were you protecting us?"

It was Mara's turn to sigh and she took a seat with him. For now, in this spot, they had warning and defense. "Your father killed an Inquisitor. That much would have gotten back to the Emperor from any number of spies he keeps in your father's ranks."

"He does what?" Natus demanded, clearly regretting the way his head had jerked up almost instantly. He grimaced and she waited a moment for him to work through the fresh wave of pain.

"Your father knows," Mara said softly. "It's expected. The Emperor also knows what I do… when he wants to, but you knew that. It's why you thought I could help you."

"So you were saving your own skin," he huffed.

"And yours. It's not often that he's caught unaware, but when he is he gets angry. He had time to plan before Vader returned. His reaction was controlled. I'm not saying it was pleasant, but neither you nor your father's lives were in danger. If I hadn't said anything, it could have gone much worse."

"Or better."

"I wasn't willing to gamble with your life," she murmured, and while the words could certainly be strategic to soften him, she found that she meant them.

Natus sighed, hunching forward. "I don't want to hate you," he confessed softly after a long stretch.

"Then don't. You don't have any reason to. I'm on your side."

"You're on his."

Her eyes narrowed. That was the second time he had made it sound like he stood opposite of his Master's master. She reached forward, her fingers stained with his blood and they touched the back of his hand. Slowly, tentatively, they ghosted along his knuckles until she could wrap her fingers around so they touched the palm of his hand. His own fingers tightened on hers and those blue eyes of his were fixed on her. "I'm on yours," she pressed, her voice quiet but firm. "Always."

He watched her for a long moment, the emotions bubbling past his barriers bigger than she thought a person should have been able to have. And maybe that's what made them special, Luke and his father. Maybe they felt everything more strongly, with more ferocity than any other Human could. Love and hate, fear and determination. Loyalty. Betrayal.

Finally he gave a nod of acceptance and she could see the wariness pulling at him. She rocked forward, fingers as gentle as they could be as they peeled back the bloody bacta patch to reveal the jagged wounds left by the creature's teeth. She frowned and grabbed a second one, fitting it into place to continue the first's work.

A soft sigh escaped him. "It's all going to be different," he murmured tiredly, but she wasn't sure exactly what he meant. With the slight slur in his voice, she wondered if he'd know if asked later.

"You should rest."

"They might come back."

"I'll keep watch."

"You'll protect me?" he asked, his tone a little teasing and it pulled a real smile from her.

"Yeah, Luke. I'll protect you," she promised.

He didn't argue the name. Instead he shifted, laying his head against her bent leg and settling in, trusting her to keep them safe.

—-

He woke in stages, confusion hanging over him like a thick fog. He wasn't sure where he was. Certainly not in his own soft bed in his room on Coruscant. As he broke through another layer of fog, Luke could hear the sounds of nature all around him. Birds chirped, leaves rustled, and as he shifted he felt dirt under his fingertips. He pried his eyes open to see early morning light through a canopy of trees.

A soft groan escaped him as he rolled, fully intending on sitting up and regaining his bearings. Discomfort spread through his left shoulder and he felt a hand against his back. "Easy," Mara coaxed and she helped him sit up. "How're you feeling?"

"Groggy," he answered, the prior day's events slowly working their way back to his memory. He reached up to his injured shoulder, fingers exploring the dried bacta patch. It was stiff and sore, but nothing compared to the burning pain from the night before.

"Looks a lot better than last night," Mara murmured. "Can you stand? We should get going when you're up for it."

Luke grunted an affirmative and let her help him to his feet. "What about our proof?"

She shrugged. "I shot one of them and we got a pocket of access to the Force. It's up to the scientists to figure out how that works." Mara crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at the trees. "I'll make sure the Emperor knows."

"Knows what?"

"What you brought to the mission," she answered. "Technically you ran the rest of those things off last night."

Only after she'd found a way to not only prove that the ysalamiri were responsible for blocking the Force, but in taking the one that had been blocking it for them out. But she knew that. Of course she knew that. This was her trying to prove that she meant what she'd said the night before: she was on his side.

"You okay?"

Like turned to find Mara watching him curiously. He didn't feel the light pressure that would have told him she was prying. Instead, she was letting him decide how much he wanted to tell her. "Yeah," he said at last. "Just thinking."

She hummed softly, a little uncertainly, and he turned. It was his decision. He could fight himself the whole way, struggling to stay angry at his only friend who hadn't tried to betray him. Who truly did believe that she was on his side, and maybe she was. Maybe if it came down to it - and the truth was that, someday, it would. There'd be a day that Palpatine either killed him or his father or they killed him. There could only be two - she would choose him. He wanted to believe that.

He offered her a smile "You ready?"

Mara blinked, her own expression softening. "Yeah."

They started forward, passing through the bubble to where the Force was inaccessible and he tilted his chin and squared his shoulders, ignoring the pull on his healing muscles. He wouldn't let the weakness show. He wouldn't let it stop him.

---

TBC

Notes: I feel like it took me a bit longer to really find the story for this one because there was a lot of heavy emotional work that needed to be done and while these kids are definitely working above their age bracket here, they're still kids trying to navigate all of this emotional chaos. I hope all of you enjoyed the nods to Luke and Mara's first adventure in Heir to the Empire that I used as a backdrop to that! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Next Time: Luke is faced with a decision that will either bring him closer to becoming worthy of joining his father on the Executioner or destroy that hope forever.

#Star Wars #Star Wars fanfiction #Luke Skywalker #Mara Jade

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sassinake · 2 years

Text

Thorn in my Side

Summary:

Or on how Kylo Ren discovers he needs her. Not so sexy though, just an early exploration of the dynamic.

Work Text:

The first time he saved her, he thought it was just payback for not killing him in Snoke's throne room.

He'd decided to go planetside for this skirmish, training never as good as actual battle, if only to slake his bloodthirst and freeze laser bolts in the air. The ground battle was in a sparse forest, and best of luck, it was night.

The Resistance were aiding some woefully unprepared and untrained minor uprising on some minor colony, and it was frankly embarrassing how soundly they were being routed with just his one company. Only a couple hours in and they were already retreating. He advanced, a bit tired of walking but still cutting through their numbers when he felt her near, off to his left.

Bitter anger rose in him at once and he immediately set in her direction. He found her just as a trooper cut her down. He couldn't be sure, but it looked as if his appearance had distracted her from her opponent. He stopped in his tracks, and when the trooper raised his vibro-sword for a final blow, he Force-pushed the man into a tree, hard, snapping his spine.

He looked around: they were on the edge of the battlefield, pretty much alone in this area. He walked over to her. She was curled up on her side, clutching her flank. He made a vexed sound and crouched down beside her. Anger seeped out of him, just as blood seeped from her body.

He could kill her now. Should. Instead, he said: "How can the Last Jedi be beaten by a bloody Stormtrooper? This is just shameful."

Her eyes snapped open. "What?" she breathed hard, "I'm doing the best I can." There was recognition on her face as she looked at him. They may well be the last Force-Users in the Galaxy.

"I told you you need a teacher."

She grunted in pain. He felt it through the Bond, almost like it was his own, realized berating her was pointless. He had to make a decision: kill her, the only person like him in the world, or save her so she could grow strong enough to be a worthy opponent. "Kriff," he growled, "let me see."

Her eyes widened in shock but she grunted her consent, unfolding a bit and removing her hand. He pulled the fabric open. The wound wasn't fatal if she got medical attention soon. If she knew Force-Rage, she could use it to her advantage - but she obviously didn't. No one could teach her: just him. And now was as good a time as any.

"I'm going to show you something," he told her as he took off his glove and lay his hand over her wound. The contact felt deep, the intimacy shook him and for a second it scared him. Then he clenched his jaw and opened his mind to her.

Rey had only minutes to understand what he was showing her. Somehow, she could use the "excitement" of the Force swirling around her wound as a source of Power, to either give her enough strength to continue combat, or walk back to the transport ship and get help. She lay there, dumbfounded at his help. He pinched her, hard. "Get up, you idiot! Or I'll kill everyone that came with you." He slapped her, for good measure.

She got up, face burning, but she chose to retreat. "Thank you, asshole," she growled at him. He watched her limp away for a minute, her force-signature burning like a human-sized torch in the twilight, then turned away to head for his ship.

By the time he made it to his quarters, the blood on his hand had dried. He stood over the little sink in the fresher, looking at it, smelling its metallic tang, loathe to wash it off. He was tempted to lick it. He was tempted to jerk off with it. He closed his eyes and imagined her, well-trained, them dueling again, close like dancers. He never wanted the dance to end. Finally he stripped and stepped into the fresher, watching the blood rinse off and seep into the drain.

The second time he saved her, it'd been in extremis.

She'd fallen through the ice. She didn't even know how to swim. He ran along the surface of the river, following her as the current dragged her further away from the encampment they were raiding. The whole time she'd been drowning, he'd felt it too and it was all he could do to keep from wailing in terror as he chased her flailing body under the icy sheet. When she finally snagged on some tree branch, he cut open the ice with his Ren saber and dragged her out. He found a solid area and pushed the water out of her lungs, and when she lay still unmoving he pressed his mouth to hers and gave her two quick breaths. He felt for her heart: it was beating, if sluggishly. The force of his sigh of relief surprised even him. He gave her two more breaths and she choked, turned to her side and vomited the rest of the water out. He took off his cloak and wrapped her soaked form in it. He got up and looked around: Stormtroopers and Resistance soldiers alike were running towards them. He signaled his men back into the fray, running at an angle away from her curled up body. At the edge of the woods he looked back to see her comrades pick her up. He thought he should teach her to swim.

This was becoming a problem. Sure, he didn't have Snoke to mock him now, but he didn't have Snoke to control him with the "grace of his training" either. He felt a fool. He felt alone. He felt he wanted to be with her. He thought of her heartbeat under his hand and it was just like his own. He felt her lips against his as he had breathed life back into her.

In the evening, the Bond connected them. She was lying in the infirmary, feverish. The water she had breathed and the cold had knocked her out for good. He looked at her for a moment before moving forward and grasping her hand in his. After a moment, she squeezed his hand feebly.

*Don't leave me alone in this world,* he thought, and it shook him to the core to feel this way.

*Come to me,* she answered before fading away.

***

The third time... well the third time, she saved him.

Hux, and his Ren, were upset with him now. It was not the place of the Supreme Leader to get into the fray of every little skirmish. At first they thought he was just bloodthirsty, until they realized he was mostly defensive on his forays now. He would go down planetside, observe for a while, and then come back to the command shuttle, as if satisfied with what he saw. It wouldn't be so annoying if not for the fact that he was often pleased even when they lost.

This time, he had pushed forward all the way into the Resistance Headquarters, some blinding impulse leading him on beyond any reasonable tactical advantage. When he came face to face with his mother, his crazy light-saber raised, he hesitated, as if waiting, and Rey froze him still in mid-swing. The men quickly disarmed him and beat him unconscious, while Leia looked at Rey, half-shocked, half-grateful. Something momentous had just happened. They escaped, taking him prisoner with them.

He came awake to the feeling of the Light gently caressing his wounds. He opened his eyes and saw Rey there, face in intent concentration. He stared at her for a long time before realizing they were not alone. He turned his head and saw his mother. His heart stopped until he saw her smile. After a moment he turned to the sunlit window and water welled in his eyes, a tear finally leaking into his temple. Rey opened her eyes, looked at Leia, and left. He felt her hand leave his heart.

When he turned back to his mother, she spoke:

"Rey is going to teach you how to Force-heal. She said she deduced it from Force-Rage, which you taught her. If you want to stay here, this will be your job. Do you understand?"

He nodded.

"You'll be teaching her how to swim too. Though not under ice. Someplace warm." That was an order. He imagined it in his mind. The implications went further than anything he'd ever hoped for.

He swallowed and nodded again.

#Reylo #fanfiction #star wars #ao3 writer #kylo ren #rey of jakku

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