#strbrymlkthoughts

[strbrymlk]

03/01/2023

happy march!! february was a good month for me, and i plan to have march be even better :) this week has been good, though dreary in terms of rain and cold. it reminds me of home though, so it's a nice feeling, and i know once the 24/7 sun comes back i'm going to miss this weather. classes are going well, i'm hanging out with my friends regularly, and i feel like i've been staying off my phone way more, which has been really nice, and i think i've been enjoying life more because of it. <3 life is beautiful.

we have this shelf in the music building where people can leave music for others to take, and i think it's really cute that we have a little free music library.

these jeans are my favorite cause i love the cut of them, and the color. they actually used to be my dads, but he gave me a bunch of his old jeans that he doesn't wear anymore. i think that's one of the best ways of living sustainably, and plus, one mans trash is another mans treasure :)

the sky has been so pretty in the evenings due to the rain, and so i take way too many photos of it hehe.

i carry a lot of books around with me and it makes me feel so studious, especially since in past years i usually have only had to carry my ipad and computer. books just make everything feel so much more substantial, i guess? idk how to explain it, i just really like it :D

i hope you're all doing well. take the time to appreciate little things <3

[strbrymlk]

7/20/2023 (happy anniversary!)

it’s been one year since i started this blog!!! absolutely bonkers to me, since i usually give up on accounts like this after a few months :,) i love posting on here and sharing little tidbits of my life and school life!! thank you to all y’all who decide to follow and stay updated with my life<3

i don’t have too many photos this week, but i tried to compile them

green thai iced tea is better than normal thai iced tea, i don’t make the rules

Him <3

someone gave us a very generous tip at the bar and i’m still reeling from it 🥹

yogurt bowlllll

have a wonderful day!

[strbrymlk]

06/21/2023

hello hello! summer has been lovely ! i’ve been working a lot as a bartender and it’s been so fun!! when i’m not at work i’m just hanging out at home, practicing, reading, etc. i’ve been really enjoying my time!

my summer class starts next month, and i also leave for school at the end of next month :( i’m a little sad, just cause my summer always feels so short. but i think this semester will be good, so i’m trying to have a positive mindset about it.

i went on a walk with my parents, and our cat decided to follow us for a little! he’s so cute <3

matcha, matcha, and more matcha :)

living up north, the sun stays up for a lot longer, so drives home are so nice

went to dinner out on the docks and watched the float planes take off! it was neat :D

hope everyone is doing well!!

[strbrymlk]

11/28/22

these are all fairly old photos, but i liked how they looked all together <3

a bit of a recap of the past week and a half ish:

thanksgiving break was very nice. i spent it with my boyfriend and his family mainly, and also just in my own space. i had the suite to myself, and i could just lay in bed as long as i wanted. i cleaned the suite, and felt a lot better about how i was living. it was a restful break.

today, however… was a very harsh slap back into the present. i’m just,,, so tired, and anxious. my recital is next weekend, and i broke down cause i don’t feel prepared at all. it’s not even an official recital, but i can’t seem to get that through my head.

i haven’t hung out with my close group of friends in over three weeks. i miss them so much. but they don’t seem to have any interest in rekindling our relationship. I don’t know if i want to give up or keep trying. it makes me ache thinking that they don’t like hanging out with me, or we’re not that close anymore. i really hope they come to my recital. if they don’t, i think i might cry on the spot haha.

i’m a little depressed i think. i know that for a lot of people that’s the norm, but i don’t think i’ve experienced this many lows in such an extended period of time.

i’m sorry all my posts have been so downtrodden. i tend to think of this blog as a diary more often than not. if anyone else feels the same as i am these days, i feel for you. i wish nothing but for you to give yourself grace and forgiveness. we’re all trying to get through it. <3

[strbrymlk]

11/12/2022

i’m home for the weekend, and when i say it’s the best decision i could have possibly made, i mean it.

school was(is) kicking my ass, completely, and not in the way of like “oh, im falling so behind, my grades are destroyed, there’s no way to come back.” it’s more like a “i am so burned out from keeping up with everything, and i just want to sleep forever.” i have been stressed 24/7 and i cant seem to catch up enough to be in a good spot. i am unmotivated, and coming home was what i needed. i needed to see my parents, sleep in my bed, hang out with my pets, just all of it. i needed my own space away from suite-mates to make my own meals, and feel comfortable laying around in the living area.

when i walked up the stairs for the first time, i cried a little. i don’t think i realized how absolutely desperately i needed this break, even if it’s only for two days. i go home tomorrow morning, and i really don’t want to, but hopefully just recuperating with my family will be enough to get me through the end of this semester.

sorry for how sad this sounds, im really okay, i just wish the school system didn’t absolutely destroy any sense of happiness and relaxation lol.

hope you’re all doing well. <3

[strbrymlk]

1/15/2023

long time no chat :) i hope everyone is having a wonderful start to their year, and are reaching their goals/maintaining their precious goals <3 here’s some updates!

i went to japan this christmas! some friends and i have been planning this trip for two years, waiting for the pandemic to die down, and it finally did! we spent a little over two weeks in tokyo and kyoto, and it was absolutely amazing! these are some photos i took :) i think they turned out very well. overall i think the group of us traveled very well together, and we were able to enjoy each others company throughout the whole time <3

i’m back home for a week before i head to school for training, and so i’ve been resting and trying to make the most of this time with my family. it’s been a rough 2022 for us, and 2023 is starting about the same way, but i know my parents and i will persevere like we have this past year.

i’m preparing for classes and whatnot, and i’m looking forward to this semesters class load, as it is significantly less than last semester. i’m hoping this will allow me time to care for myself, and lead to a more productive and enjoyable semester.

my semester starts the end of january, so expect more academic content coming then, but before that, i’ll mostly be uploading travel photos, and little updates here and there. i fell off the wagon of posting at the end of last year, but now i’m determined to continue posting in this upcoming year.

stay tuned ! 🫶🏼

[strbrymlk]

11/17/22

y’all. I don’t know what happened. but i’m sick. AGAIN. it feels like i’ve been sick literally the entirety of november and i’ve had it up to here with it. i just want to feel good again. like i get it’s flu season, yada yada, but i just got my vaccines too !!! what is this life. i’m busy as hell this week too, which is not helping me recover. here’s what i have to do this week:

pit orchestra performances with my school’s musical thursday-sunday

a rough draft of a research paper (got an extension tho thank god)

rehearsal with pianist sunday night

i know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but pair that with assignments, being sick, etc, it’s just a recipe for disaster. i know i’ll be fine! i really do! but i just know it’s not gonna be great while doing it.

anywho, if you need me, i’ll be chugging water, and getting rest when i can. stay safe y’all during this flu season, it’s a doozy i’ve heard. <3

[strbrymlk]

1/22/2023

i’m back at school! thankful to be surrounded by friends again, and i’m feeling really good about this semester. i’m taking less classes, and will be focusing on myself a lot i think, which i’m looking forward to.

in some sadder news, my grandma passed away a couple days ago. i knew it was coming, and thankfully was able to say goodbye before it happened, but it’s still sad. i think it was good that i wasn’t there, as that would have been not a great start to the year, but knowing i couldn’t be there for my mom was hard. she’s doing a lot better though! taking care of my grandma was hard for her to do, so knowing that there’s a bittersweet weight off her shoulders is a relief to me.

besides from that, i’m doing quite well. school hasn’t started yet, we have a couple more days, but i’m feeling prepared and good about the future to come.

has school started for y’all? how are you feeling about it? let me know <3 stay hydrated 🫶🏼

p.s. i made my new home screen and lock screen, and they were too cute not to share <3 im super proud of them.

[strbrymlk]

welcome <3

[edited 2/25/2023]

welcome to my studyblr ! here i hope to post things that make me happy, as well as motivation for myself and those that are also studying. i also plan to post photos that i take throughout the days, as i like to find beauty in small things <3

i'm a third year double major in music performance and linguistics. this semester i'm taking five classes, which is significantly better than last semester, however i am still working to maintain my grades and improve myself as best i can! i plan to use this blog to post my random thoughts as well as any updates i have with classes. i hope i can be a consistent part of your study days! i think these posts will go under strbrymlkstudies.

i also hope to use this blog as a little bit of a diary/journal for when i have a lot on my mind. i also like to write in an actual journal, but i think it'd be nice to post just little thoughts i have through the day on here. if you want to find these look under strbrymlkthoughts.

anywho, i hope that if you come across here, you stay and follow along on my academic journey! feel free to message me or ask me anything, i'm happy to answer <3

[strbrymlk]

09-24-2022

i had a really, really rough week mental-health wise. literally right after i posted last i got some really bad news, and it's been on my mind a lot since then. i was really depressed this week, and i felt awful. im feeling better now, if only because i have a lot more on my mind right now, but ill take it. ive kind of fallen off track because of it though, so im going to work hard to get back on track for myself. this is a reminder that if you're mental health is not doing too hot, that's okay. work on yourself and making sure you're okay and safe, and that's all you really need to do. dont feel like you have to please others when you feel like that, because you really dont. i thankfully have a wonderful support system that really helped me through this week, and im so thankful for them.

anywho, i finally cleaned!!!! it's a miracle but i did it, and lord knows the suite needed it. i get the whole "you feel better in a clean environment" mindset now, i really do. i have a lot of readings to do this weekend, so im gonna get started on those right after i post this.

to do:

chapter 7 conducting

chapter 8 conducting

chapter 7 LING

different chapter 7 LING

chapter 8 LING

[strbrymlk]

09-21-2022

some updates on the things i wanted to do this weekend:

clean suite: i was too busy this weekend to get that done, which i’m kind of disappointed about, but it’s definitely something i’m gonna do as soon as i can. i mainly just need to get my vacuum back from a friend lol.

practice friday and saturday: i DID practice friday, which i was proud of myself for, but i didn’t practice saturday, which i regret, because my lesson sunday did not go well, and i was really upset after it.

finish geology module: now that i did do, and it was really quick, so i’m proud of myself for catching back up, especially after that atrocious start last monday. i went to the class this past monday, and i honestly didn’t even miss much, but i’ve already finished this weeks module too so highkey i’m really proud of myself.

start and finish critical summary essay: i started my essay saturday night and finished it sunday. is it the best? no. is it supposed to be a rough draft? yes, so i’m not too worried.

basically i was busy and not entirely happy most of the time, but i got stuff done. this week has been better, and i’m working on self care a bit more than usual, which i think i need. i’m working on myself slowly.

[strbrymlk]

9/15/2022

sometimes the week just passes in a blur, and this week was one of those weeks. its definitely calmed down in terms of my job fitting in with school, which i'm super thankful for. i feel like in some of my classes im starting to become lazy, which i really don't want to happen, so i need to re-evaluate the effort im putting into my studies. i really like my classes, so i dont want to fall behind.

i did make one rather bad mistake this week, and that is i missed attending a class entirely, purely because i forgot i was taking it. it's online but synchronous, so when i realized i missed it my heart dropped. thankfully after i emailed the professor he said it was no worries, and he hasn't added any new material, so im still on track with the rest of the class. i never want to experience that again though.

something good DID happen though! i was missing a credit for a class i tested out of, and i procrastinated (say 1.5 years) on trying to get that credit to show up in my transcript. i finally found the drive to figure it out, and i was able to get the class waived! what a relief too, that was gonna be hell to figure out.

other then these things life has been mundane, but enjoyable. it's finally cooled down, and so i've been pulling out the fall outfits, which i've been having a lot of fun trying to create.

i have a bit of a list for the weekend, so here it is:

clean the suite

practice on friday and saturday

finish geology module

start & finish critical summary essay

[strbrymlk]

10-12-2022

to say im tired is an understatement. this past weekend i did almost nothing academic wise, except for some notes here and there. thankfully i didn’t have much due, so it was a break i was very grateful for. but i dread every new academic week. i’m so burnt out and we just made it to the half way point. i dont know how to fix it right now. im struggling to balance homework, practice (i’ve practiced so little im so ashamed of myself), and my mental state. i’ve yet to get a pianist for my recital (i should do that rn) and i feel like i dont know how to give myself a break.

i’ve decided to take five years to finish school rather than four, and so trying to figure out my plan for the next five semesters is making my brain hurt. how do i spread out my classes so i don’t have to take a 19 credit course load every semester?? beats me, it’s all i’ve known. i just feel behind, in everything, and i’m not even behind. i just feel so unproductive, yet stressed, and i don’t wish that upon anyone. sorry, a bad rant, but if y’all have any tips on “healing” burnout, they’d be much appreciated.

i wish you all healthy mindsets, productive study sessions, and full water bottles.

[strbrymlk]

10-07-2022 (museum date !)

today was so nice!! i had a very good flute lesson in which my teacher said that i’ve improved a lot this week with my sound, and she’s really happy!! it made me feel so good getting that validation after a few weeks of struggling. i’m super proud of myself and it’s this kind of thing that pushes me to continue in a healthy way.

i also went on a lil museum date with my friend! we haven’t seen each other all week so this was much needed. the art on display was super neat, i especially liked the sculptures. i thought they were gorgeous and so delicate. i definitely want to go back regularly when they have new exhibits.

also, i got the results back on my linguistics midterm, and i scored the high for the class! i’m super proud of myself for that as well. we had a quite few wins this week!

hope you all are doing well :) stay hydrated and well rested 🤍

[strbrymlk]

11/2/2022

on sunday it was my birthday! i had an absolutely lovely time with my friends, and i couldn't of asked for a better way to celebrate my 21st.

now, the week prior to sunday felt like a hellhole. it was just one anxious thought after another, as i believed i had contracted covid (i hadn't! but i had plenty of reason to believe i had.) instead of trusting myself and my body, i fell into an anxious state for the entire week, resulting in many tears, and guilt ridden thoughts. saturday led to the culmination of all these thoughts, when i finally was able to get my hands on a rapid test (thank you @ spectato) and finally could sag with relief at the negative results. i still don't feel amazing, but i'm just thankful it's not covid.

because of my anxiety ridden state, i didn't get much done over the weekend, and have been trying to keep up this week. by keeping up with just assignments, i have fallen behind in my readings and slide notes, unfortunately. i need to get caught up on these since im going home the weekend after this coming one, and i want to be present the whole time, since i've been itching to go home since september. so, my goals in the next week and a half are:

corelli slides notes

vivaldi slides notes

bach slides notes

english vowels notes

acoustic vowels: tube models notes

more vowels, vowel like articulations notes

prosody notes

voice quality notes

research paper intro outline

its a lot :,) im sure i wont get it all done, but its good to see it all listed out.

i hope youre all doing ok :) if youre having a hard time, i know u can get through it! we got this :D

[strbrymlk]

9/04/2022

a little sad today :/

im typing this from my bed cause i was craving comfort. im listening to a playlist i made for my boyfriend since it's his birthday today, and i didn't realize how many sad songs/sad sounding songs i like. none of my friends could get lunch with me, and i broke down crying because of it. i was so devastated, even though we spent the whole day together yesterday. i think im sad because i know we're all developing other relationships, spending time with others. typing it out now it sounds really dumb to be so upset about it, but yesterday was the first time in a long time that we all were able to hang out together, and i realize that we're all slowly finding other paths and it scares me cause i love my friends so much. anyway. yeah. i cried a lot, and im still really sad, even though i probably shouldn't be.

i guess my plan today is:

read 100W reading (just read, no annotating)

make anki cards for tempo terms (quiz on tuesday)

read manifestation book, maybe journal about it

try a modeling application

anywho, thats it. just wanted to write out my feelings rn.