#stupid-yoda

[stupid-yoda]

Yoda Gumball Machine

[drawnbythestream]

Yoda: Understood that reference I did. Know the rest of the quote I do. Ignore us Qui-gon will.

Mace: Adi, it’s your turn to accompany Qui-gon and make sure he and his Padawan come back alive.

(This is a reference to, obviously, Nick Fury’s line in Avengers. And Yoda’s comments are a reference to the Council offering Qui-gon a position in the Master and Apprentice book because they think differing views are healthy.)

[antianakin]

If we do ever get a Reva spin-off show (or movie, whatever), I would like to put it out there that it shouldn't have a SINGLE cameo. Not one. No Rebels characters, no Sequels characters, no Force ghosts, no Ahsoka, no Luke or Leia, no other Jedi survivors, NOBODY. No cameos, just Reva and a cast of original characters.

[techwrecker]

Jedi Council: yeah so now that quigon yk… bit the dust… i guess you can train the kid.

Obi-Wan: cool. :T *first move is to give Anakin the same fuckass haircut quigon gave him*

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: *holding Anakin in his lap in the Naboo palace while Yoda and Mace are trying to evaluate how fucked up he is rn, crying, holding Ani like a teddy bear* yolo

Mace: Obi, that’s not an appropriate response right now.

Obi-Wan: *sniffling and points to Anakin* Play stupid games, win awesome prizes.

Yoda: Think you should give him to a nanny, I do.

Obi-Wan: I’ll punt you.

Mace: *deep sigh* Master Yoda won’t take your cuddle buddy, Kenobi, but you need a meditation therapy session.

Obi-Wan: I need a nap.

Anakin: Obi hasn’t slept in a while. He’s right about that one.

[roselightfairy]

I really really really love Master and Apprentice, not least because Claudia Gray is standing as a lone bulwark against the mass woobification of young Obi-Wan Kenobi and letting him be the sullen, snappish teenager (with the tendency to lash out when he feels he’s been wronged) we deserve.

This is not my first time through this book but this time around it’s just cracking me up how incredibly, utterly seventeen he is in it, how the whole book is full of Qui-Gon’s guilt-ridden internal monologue about how he’s failing Obi-Wan as a teacher and it’s all his fault, how can he ever fix what’s gone wrong - and then we snap into Obi-Wan’s mind and he’s like, yeah. yep. he is. I’m so frustrated with him and it’s all his fault. his Special Interests are annoying and he doesn’t understand me and I don’t understand him and I wish he’d leave me alone but also how DARE he leave me I need him I admire him I wish I understood him why is he like this???

and of course neither is 100% right and neither is 100% wrong and it is about finding understanding and learning to communicate and learning to listen and how affection and love can exist even when understanding has yet to be reached, but SPECIFICALLY the teenage angst in it is extremely funny to me, because Obi-Wan being mean on purpose (and on accident) is frankly one of my favorite things about him and bless this book for giving it to me.

[tennessoui]

the council is so invested at this point djbsdfgb how many credits are in the betting pool d'you think. is it council members only or temple-wide

do you think yoda has credits in this game

Yoda was not allowed to put credits in the game because he is known to cheat and nudge things to happen the way he wants instead of how they would naturally go

I feel like it’s council wide only until some poor young knight gets pulled into a mission with anakin and obi-wan, pre-wife reveal, and report back to the council like “um. Mission ok. Vibes were REALLY weird though. Kenobi did some stuff with the planet’s king that I REALLY don’t want to talk about. And then Skywalker sort of lead a revolution? And deposed the king that Kenobi seduced? And now the planet with the longest running monarchy has a prime minister? Oh yeah but the princess is safe yeah. I mean shes not a princess anymore of course but Skywalker pointed out that would make it safer for her in general so in a way we neutralized the threat. Thankfully kenobi only told him he also slept with her once the ship was in take off and then i refused to turn the ship around because Skywalker forgot something, so I feel like I doubly neutralized the threat. But yeah. Absolutely rancid vibes. Do y’all think that’s something ?”

and the council opens the betting up to the whole temple

[teddytoroa]

reminded of that one time many years ago when i was making sam @itwashotwestayedinthewater a birthday cake and asked what she'd like and the only request she made was that it should have this one specific picture of yoda as an iguana on it

and i assumed she was joking but i love escalating shit so i edited it to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM and had it professionally printed in big size on sugar paper with edible ink, shipped it to my house and put it on the cake

iirc it was a pretty good cake too

[cantsayidont]

So, to the extremely limited extent I still care, the question THE ACOLYTE raises is, "Were the Jedi ever actually cool?" The prequels and THE CLONE WARS make clear that by the time of the Clone Wars, they're in pretty grim shape as an order: morally bankrupt, willfully oblivious, self-deluded zealots whose determination to leverage their apparently diminishing power (which even for masters doesn't seem to rise much above the level of parlor tricks) to maintain their privileged political position eventually precipitates their transformation from poor diplomats and inept cops into incompetent military officers, leading a cadre of child soldiers and an army of manufactured slaves in a war that probably wouldn't have happened at all if the Jedi Council's go-to response to any crisis weren't "self-defeating coverup." Yoda and Obi-Wan, who in the original movies come across as wise and basically kindly, if conflicted and somewhat manipulative, emerge in the prequels, TCW, and the awful OBI-WAN KENOBI show as truly contemptible — Yoda a cackling war criminal, Obi-Wan a dupe and a coward — while the sequels and THE MANDALORIAN emphasize that Luke Skywalker's determination to repeat the exact same mistakes almost immediately plunges the galaxy back into fascism. As Hal Holbrook says in ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

THE ACOLYTE is set a century before that, but it goes out of its way to present the Jedi Order in exactly the same ways: kidnapping children; a culture of emotional abuse in the name of religious and martial discipline; a focus on really incompetent police work; constant coverups and political ass-covering; and really very little personal/supernatural power in the context of the general level of technology. The Jedi are not wise, they're not clever, they're not competent, and it's hard to see what they're good for except maybe as a symbol to people who've never actually encountered them.

In a franchise more complex and grown-up than STAR WARS is usually willing to be, that might be interesting, and the books and comics have occasionally grappled with these points with somewhat more nuance, but the onscreen canon since 1999 has been pretty emphatic that the Jedi are a blight on the galaxy. It's hard not to come away from this stuff feeling like everyone else would be better off if there were no Force-users of any kind, which I assume is not the intent. It's like if all canon Marvel and DC superhero characters were like the "heroes" of THE BOYS or BRATPACK all the time.

[everly98]

Here are the new actors for the live action movie "Barbie as the Island Princess" That's an ironic comment! Don't take it seriously!

[dragonjadearts]

i’m so excited for season 3 i’m going to explode

———

if you like it PLEASE REBLOG IT

[131-vr]

Look, I've slept for about three hours and this is very funny to me.

[charadreammer]

I want more content where we see Anakin but without the shadow of Vader looming above him. Just Anakin after being brought to the temple. He is a scare kid who is doing is best and nothing more.

Anakin story is a tragedy and I think that by always reminding us he is going to be bad or is already bad constantly the story spoil (in all senses) this.

We should be able to see an Anakin more reminescent of The Phantom Menace just to really see the difference between what he was at heart and what he became.

Without this crucial moment it almost seems stupid how nobody saw or act before to stop him from falling (further ?) .

Like just why does Mace Windu defend and trust him in Attack of the Clones ? Why does in the Anakin & Obi-Wan comic Yoda send them in a last mission when Anakin already clearly said he wanted to quit the Order ? Why doesn't the Jedi Order just send him away at the first mistake ? We already know he is dangerous, instable and destined to be the most horrible person so why can't we see a before totaly clean of that. Aren't we told to not fully trust propheties/visions because they're not the futur but a futur ?

I really just want content were Anakin is good.

If any of you have suggestion (comics, books, fanfics, headcanons) please be my guest, I'm all ears.

[daisychainsandbowties]

contributing to the autistic beatrice & lilith agenda, bealil are just the “me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic” meme except they’re both autistic and the bad bitches

i've literally been thinking about this all day u are so right i mean separately they both have so much game. good god. but also 0 swag.

we have lilith who is being mostly accidentally rude to everyone & so profoundly touch-starved she looks thirsty even in comparison to tantalus. she has that ianthe tridentarius flair for the dramatic which is an almost inexplicably cringefail kind of drama. like just a mythically bad sense of when it's the appropriate time to do or say literally anything.

she's hot but there's absolutely no point to it because she pretty much only excels at dragging around dead things (including herself in that category) and being a Massive Fucking Problem for No Reason

meanwhile we have beatrice. the kind of person who grows up thinking that if heaven exists it's definitely just a really big library with a buffet table (in her case, this buffet table is stocked with little chocolate pudding cups and very cold water).

she knows Facts & it's lilith's problem because nothing makes beatrice happier than 1. hitting things and 2. info-dumping sotto voce & lilith is amazing at 1. being hit with things and 2. sitting there listening to beatrice talk.

so the batshit bullshit they have going on is just ridiculously compatible

but also when you put them together the Dumb Bitch language barrier is so absolute that they both end up swagless and pathetic and wet with blood but also utterly convinced that the other person has been bamboozled out of recognising their innate Badness.

bealil is incredible because it's like no they cannot talk to each other but no they don't NEED to talk to each other. these bitches are psychically linked they have history they were ex-girlfriends before they were girlfriends. beatrice is good at talking and blind to her own needs but hyper-aware of lilith's. meanwhile lilith is BAD TERRIBLE AWFUL at talking but good at listening (to beatrice, only) and again could be bleeding from the eyes and not notice but is capable of gauging with one glance how many hours of sleep beatrice has had.

what i'm saying is that beatrice is the library and lilith is the buffet table and they don't really think that heaven exists anymore but they've kind of blundered their way into making a heaven out of each other and it's really just girlfailure central but also they're fucking profoundly good for each other and also yes they're also both wearing the 'me and the bad bitch i pulled by being swagless and autistic' shirt

[padawansuggest]

Can I say one thing in slight defense of yoda haters? I hate that they didn’t keep the consistency up in all the media, making him a hypocrite. They had a whole episode in clone wars where Ashoka keeps having visions of padme dying and he was like Ah yes go investigate and save her life but with Anakin, he was immediately like no fuck her move on with your life. Which, to me, just highlights how different the Jedi and specifically yoga treated Anakin. I completely understand that this was two different people and crew but like. If Anakin went to yoda and that was his answer, why wasn’t it with Ashoka? Why include that episode at all? I’m not blaming the character but like. I feel like they made him a hypocrite, even if it was to highlight how different the Jedi treated Anakin.

Also “do or do not there is no try” is literally the stupidest thing ever imo. That completely dismisses any effort put into a task, and the amount of effort matters especially when talking about behavior.

Y’all are so fucking stupid. I don’t care if he’s a secret Sith okay I just like the dumb lol mold cat shut up. I don’t care about how he’s written. In the books and media I like him in he’s a chill and cuddly cat okay. Just calm down. I don’t need to defend him I love the bullshit I think it makes him funny.

[dumbassdumas]

Star Wars really shouldn’t be owned by Disney because 80% of the characters would use Fuck in every sentence if allowed.