#supporting organizing and mobilizing. all that good stuff

[queerb]

Now is one of those times where I really wish I'd dedicated myself to streaming part-time.

[waywardsalt]

finally got around to putting together elden ring builds for the post-ph crew, and tested them out briefly, so here are the builds i came up with and all that! (absolutely a very long post, i had fun explaining a lot of my reasoning)

i'm not going to give them exact stats, just some vague idea of what they'd likely lean towards, and i can't say much to what equip load they have. when i tested these builds out i had 72 endurance. this uses exclusively base-game equipment since i don’t have the dlc and wanted to test these out for myself.

i also don’t use many spells or any incantations so the spell and incantation choices are mostly based on wiki descriptions and whether or not i felt it would fit the character.

some context is that this is with the idea that somehow these four get zapped into the lands between as tarnished, and this is the equipment i think they’d use, disregarding what is needed to access most of this stuff.

i also didn't change my tarnished's appearance for these, not that i think i could accurately replicate these four in elden ring's character creator, anyways, so you get to see my tarnished's face with all of these :)

Link:

His armor is: the highwayman hood, the blue cloth vest, exile gauntlets, and Carian knight greaves.

There's practically no green armor in this game, and what is there isn't really armor and isn’t exactly good protection. I wanted a bit of a balance between just cloth, but also some armor, as well as a headpiece somewhat like the usual hero's cap. The highwayman's hood works well enough, honestly, and I think it fits in well with the blue cloth vest; plus, I can see it being helpful in keeping dust and whatnot out of his eyes. Blue works well enough with Link nowadays, and I do think the blue cloth vest actually fits Link well enough- I doubt he'd want to wear something like a plate breastplate, so a vest like this is good.

The exile gauntlets I feel work well, they're simple and slim with some decent coverage, and the Carian knight graves not only look great with the blue cloth vest, but are also something that I believe fits Link, and the tall boots are likely decently practical in the same vein as the hood.

His weapons I chose are: The Carian knight's sword, with the pulley bow as a secondary weapon, and the Carian knight's shield in his offhand, with the academy glintstone staff as a secondary.

He obviously had to be the good standard sword-and-shield combo fighter, but I went ahead and gave him with Carian sword and shield partially because they look decently similar to what weapons he normally uses, but also because I enjoy the idea of him dabbling in magic along with typical damage types. The Carian sword does a good bit of magic damage along with standard, and the shield guards again both of those types, and the sword's unique ash of war (Carian Grandeur) is a good mix between swordfighting and magic, and actually really good to use in-game. I feel like they suit him well.

For his secondaries, I had to give him a bow, and I feel like the pulley bow is just right, especially with it's special feature of having increased range. I could see him being the one tasked with deactivating faraway traps and hunting the animals of the Lands Between for materials, and even just luring enemies with some normal arrows.

The academy glintstone staff is a solid staff (and the one I personally use), and him using magic is a good way to translate his usual versatility, though I only limited him to five spells, those being:

Loretta's greatbow, giving him what is technically now a second bow, and a pretty good spell for luring and doing some decent magic damage,

Magma shot, a good, simple fire damage spell,

Glintstone Icecrag, a good ice spell, especially for causing frostbite buildup,

Great glintstone shard, a very basic but reliable spell, and is good when cast a few times in succession,

and Thops' barrier, for deflecting magic attacks, and though I've heard it's a mediocre spell, I could see Link getting the timing down and getting some good usage out of it. I tried giving him a decent range of spells, which is a little bit easier said then done considering the actual spell variety and wanting to pick spell that I think suit Link, but I think this is a good lineup.

For talismans, assuming that all four of them have all four talisman slots open, Link gets the silver scarab, the graven-mass talisman, the erdtree's favor +2, and the companion jar.

The silver scarab, raising item discovery is... perfect for Link. It only feels right that he gets a talisman that makes him more likely to get items off enemies. It definitely works, too, while testing, I got way more items out of the gatefront ruins group than I'd ever seen before.

The graven-mass talisman boosts sorcery power, which is certainly perfect for boosting Link's versatility and magic power, simple and useful.

The erdtree’s favor +2 is just an all-around great talisman to use for the hp, mp, and stamina boost, and it feels perfect as something for Link to use, especially to increase his effectiveness and endurance in battle.

And then the companion jar, which goes hand-in-hand with him also being a pot user to further his versatility, and it’s very easy to see him doing the Jar-Bairn side quest. My choices here disregard how the items are obtained, but I could absolutely see Link going out of his way to interact with Jarburg.

Link’s standard fighter, with a balance between offense and defense and physical and magical damage with a slight leaning towards magical, and the main archer who aims to do more damage with archery, and uses pots when needed. He’s probably the one ‘leading the charge’ in that he’s suited for most situations, but isn’t necessarily the most effective in all-out combat- he is the most defensively oriented, however. He’s likely in the mid-to-light equip range, and likely mostly levels Strength and Intelligence to keep his damage up, and focuses a lot on keeping his Vigor up for a good chunk of health.

Linebeck:

His armor is: the black knife armor, the gauntlets, and bandit boots.

The black knife armor is the most important part of the set, not just for it being a nice blue, but because it has the unique effect of completely silencing your movement sounds- perfect for steal and getting in a good number of sneak attacks. It’s light, too, and so are the generally standard gauntlets and bandit boots, all put together for a general… blue rogue kind of look? It’s practicality and some looks and all put around the idea that he’s going to be sneaking around and panic-rolling out of the enemy’s way- so his defenses are a bit lacking in favor of mobility. I do think it’s a good look overall.

His weapons are: A bloody antspur rapier with the poison mist ash of war, the redbranch shortbow as a secondary weapon, and the frozen needle in the offhand.

For Linebeck's build, it was either daggers or rapiers, and the extra damage, range, and great designs for the rapier won out- and I think rapiers suit him well. This specific pair of rapiers are oriented around inflicting ailments, with the frozen needle inflicting frostbite, and the antspur rapier- specifically with the poison mist ash of war and blood upgrade- can inflict scarlet rot, bloodloss, and poison with poison mist active. With the blood upgrade, the scarlet rot buildup suffers, but with the speed of rapiers and just how effective scarlet rot can be, it's a decent trade-off for the ability to do four ailments at once. His role in the Radahn fight is to inflict scarlet rot and then run off to snipe him with the redbranch shortbow, which is a simple ranged option, and helps with further ailment inflicting with ailment arrows.

His damage would probably be pretty decent, especially considering inflicting frostbite and his equipped talismans, but he's mostly going to be heading in with everyone and sticking around until proccing an ailment, and then backing off, especially if poison, rot, or frostbite are inflicted. Plus I think dual rapiers look great and it's very easy to see Linebeck using rapiers.

For talismans, he gets the gold scarab, the assassin's crimson dagger, the dagger talisman, and the blessed dew talisman.

The gold scarab boost rune acquisition by 20%. It's perfect. It's one of my favorite talismans. I can't make an Elden Ring build for Linebeck and NOT give him the money-boosting talisman.

The assassin's crimson dagger restores hp upon successful critical hits, and paired with the silencing effect of the black knife armor, is perfect for someone who's more used to sneaking around and taking down enemies from behind- and it's good for topping off your hp.

The dagger talisman boosts critical damage- so then making sneak attacks all the more effective, and even making any critical hits he manages in fights do much more damage.

And then the blessed dew talisman gives you a very minuscule constant hp regen, about 2 hp per second iirc. It’s incredibly slow, but it's hp regen all the same, good for saving flask uses and good for some health regeneration if you back out of the main fight.

Linebeck's got a big focus on stealth and ailments, with just a bit of health regen tossed in with the talismans to help with survivability. his weapons and offhand options are mainly based around ailments, and besides the bow, he tends to use darts and other throwable items, and is often the one to pick off enemies at the edge of a group while the others go in to the handle the main group. With bosses, he's in the front lines until an ailment is inflicted, and will jump back in either if he's really needed, or if ailments are needed again. For longer bosses, or bosses immune to a few ailments, he would probably find moments to jump in and get a bunch of quick hits in, then back out and wait for another opening. Rapiers are pretty good for quick hits considering that I believe you actually get three attacks from a dual-rapier sprint attack. He’d likely have a focus on Dexterity and Arcane, with some Endurance mixed in for that good running and rolling stamina.

Damien:

His armor is; the sacred crown helm, exile armor, crucible gauntlets, and drake knight greaves.

Picking armor for Damien was a bit of a challenge since he’s still a bit of a work in progress and I usually picture him in generally casual clothes, but I knew I wanted to stick with some red clothing and put together a bit more of a practical sort of outfit. Plus this end result kind of helps me further figure out Damien’s actual design and outfit variations.

I knew I wanted to give him one of the simple footsoldier helmets, and the sacred crown helm won out with the additional detail of the little vine-looking wreath, plus the minor faith boost. It’s a nice little helmet and I think it suits him. The exile armor was considered due to the red cloth around the shoulders, and was properly decided on when I found that the helmet got rid of the cloth covering the bottom half of the face. So it’s a good solid chest piece.

The crucible gauntlets and drake knight greaves work both with color and giving him some more armored extremities, the crucible gauntlets are pretty good heavy armor gauntlets, if the crucible knights themselves are anything to go by, and the drake knight graves seem to have a good bit of practicality with the high boots and armor. It’s all meant to end up somewhere in the medium equip load area, for a balance between defense and speed, and the lighter helmet and chest piece were primarily to even out with the heavier weapons.

The weapons he gets are: the axe of Godrick, the highland axe as a secondary, and the clawmark seal.

The axe of Godrick is a pretty good greataxe with what selection there is, some good damage and a really good ash of war skill with a really good area of effect. It’s fantastic for crowd control when two-handed, and worked pretty well for me when I tested it out without having upgraded it. It’s all in all a great standard axe. The highland axe as a secondary is used partially as a faster one-hand option, and partially for the boost given by its war cry ash of war. The axe of Godrick is almost always what he’d use, but the highland axe is probably better for some specific situations. Damien was always going to end up using axes, and I think these two are pretty good and fitting.

In his other hand is the clawmark seal- scaling with faith and strength and so working well with him relying on strength, and boosting bestial incantations, of which he has one- and he mostly uses support incantations with some minor attack incantations- but he is primarily support, usually backing out of the fight to switch to casting due to usually two-handing the axe of Godrick. He gets six incantations, those being:

Heal, as a very standard heal, mostly just for himself,

Erdtree heal, a heal more intended for group healing,

Golden vow, a group offense and defense buff for a time,

Protection of the erdtree, for increased non-physical defense, which is likely useful for many bosses,

Bestial sling, which is a pretty basic but effective attack incantation, and boosted by the seal he uses, and is probably great in tandem with his axes to break an enemy's poise,

and then Dragonclaw as his final spell, a stronger and closer-up attack spell, likely for individual bosses that are lower on hp.

His offenses are standard and meant to be pretty decent for crowd control and poise-breaking, so his attack spells follow suite, while his support options are based around healing and some basic buffs. I personally do not use buffs or incantations when I play, so I do not know the nuances of a lot of this stuff, but Damien's got a good set of incantations to use.

Damien's set of talismans are the green turtle talisman, the mottled necklace +1, the axe talisman, and the bull-goat's talisman.

The green turtle talisman is a great talisman, simply increasing the speed of stamina regeneration, and it's a fantastic talisman. Very useful with the stamina drained by axe attacks and backing off to cast spells.

The mottled necklace boosts immunity, robustness, and focus, an across-the-board status boost, and I imagine it's useful for being up close with enemies and then staying alive to help with support- even if he doesn't have much in the way of ailment-based support.

The axe talisman is a damage booster, and considering his decent poise, charged attacks are pretty viable for him to be using.

The bull-goat's talisman is standard but very effective in practice (or maybe that's me being used to low poise), as it raises poise, therefore making it harder for you to flinch or be knocked out of an attack. Very helpful with a slower main weapon like the axe of Godrick.

Damien's standard all around, with pretty good damage and likely very helpful with crowd control, usually two-handing the axe for maximum damage and will back off when using incantations. He primarily uses incantations for support, and the offensive incantations are usually saved for bosses or rougher encounters- or sometimes just if he wants to switch things up for fun. He's likely going to focus on Strength and Faith, with some Mind thrown in for most casts.

Bellum:

His armor is: the altered tree sentinel armor, and the malformed dragon gauntlets and greaves.

Chosen partially for the color and because they're all heavy plate armor; meant to emulate a lot of the phantom designs, and for that yellow color, and I wasn't even aware that the malformed dragon gauntlets had a darker color until I was initially putting this together. Heavy armor fits with a desire to survive in battle, plus I think decent mobility in heavy armor suits Bellum; when I tested this out, I was firmly in medium equip load territory, plus it made for a good bit of poise to go with slower weapons. It wasn't too hard to pick out armor for him.

The weapons I felt suit him are: the blasphemous blade, the Marais executioner's sword, with the gravel stone seal as a secondary.

The blasphemous blade was practically necessary, a greatsword with the bonus effect of hp restoration on enemy death, plus the Taker's Flames skill, which also heals hp when it hits an enemy. This is was made me decide on greatswords over colossal weapons, trying to stick a bit with some ideas from the phantoms, plus the hp-leeching effects, plus it’s a pretty good weapon and I think it originally belonging to Rykard also fits pretty well; it’s Bellum’s main weapon unless he switches to the Marais Executioner’s sword for it’s specific skill. That sword is mostly chosen for it’s skill, as well as it’s origins- those bell-bearing hunters are absolute nightmares to deal with- so the two swords are kind of also picked for a sort of intimidation effect. At least the wriggling flesh on the blasphemous blade does the job well enough if someone doesn’t know the origins (which don’t practically matter). He would likely switch to the executioner’s sword for some boss fights, and its skill can be highly damaging to lone enemies- the focus with these two is on heavy damage and hp regen.

The secondary left hand weapon he has is the gravel stone seal, which boost dragon incantations, and so he only uses offense incantations, with a lot of incantations that cover a wide area and some that inflict ailment buildup. Bellum gets five incantations, all attacks (and all maybe emulating the idea that he’s a monster forced to be human in the lands between lol);

Beast claw, a pretty standard but pretty effective ground-level attack,

Unendurable frenzy, a wide range, fiery madness-inflicting incantation that, while only inflicting madness on a select few enemies (and himself) is likely more than useful for crowds and large enemies,

Rotten breath, a dragon communion incantation that is about what it says on the tin, a dragon’s breath attack that inflicts scarlet rot,

Fortissax’s lightning spear, another dragon incantation that summons a pair of lightning spears, with the damage at it’s best up close,

and Aspects of the crucible: tail, a wide-range crucible incantation, and the most fitting of the crucible incantations, I feel.

He has no issue getting up close to bosses, since he can fall back on the honestly insane hp regen he’s afforded by both his main weapon and some of his talismans.

The talismans Bellum gets are; the taker’s cameo, the dragoncrest greatshield talisman, the pearldrake talisman +2, and the godskin swaddling cloth.

The taker’s token has the same passive effect as the blasphemous blade; hp restoration upon enemy death. The fun part is that the taker’s token and the blasphemous blade’s hp regen effects stack with each other.

The dragoncrest greatshield talisman reduces physical damage by 20%, and the pearldrake talisman +2 reduces non-physical damage by about 11%. Covering just about all defenses with these two talismans.

The godskin swaddling cloth allows for additional minor hp restoration upon landing a certain number of melee hits within a short timeframe. This could be harder with greatswords, but with dual greatswords and jumping right into the action, I don’t imagine it’s at all impossible for the talisman’s effect to never trigger. As always, it’s extra effective with a larger number of enemies.

Bellum’s the main damage-dealer with a focus on staying power and lots of hp regen, using the blasphemous blade for regular battles while switching to the executioner’s sword for bosses due to the more aggressive ash of war. His incantations are more often used for crowd control, but are absolutely effect for boss battles, especially when given time to charge them up. He’s all about staying power and straightforward damage-dealing, with some decent poise to back things up despite his checking piece being altered and his lack of a helmet, and all of his incantations are a bit more bestially-inclined. He'd probably focus on Vigor and Strength, with some Faith or Dexterity thrown in for damage-dealing.

Overall, the idea is that the four of them are in the lands between like this, working and running around together, probably fighting over what bosses to go after next and whether or not to head into the catacombs that one of them just spotted. I could see them taking the time to scour the lands between for every little trinket and discussing whether or not to bother with some character's quest. Not too different from actual post-ph stuff, but it's fun to put them in Elden Ring and think on what kinds of equipment to give them and what would suit them.

[fandomtrumpshate]

Fandom Trumps Hate 2025 Calendar

We're back, folks! FTH is back for what will be our ninth (!) auction, and there's lots of good work to be done. (What is Fandom Trumps Hate?)

In this post you'll find the calendar for the 2025 auction, along with links to some useful information, including this year's list of supported organizations. (All of these same links can be found in our masthead, but since that's not visible on mobile we wanted to make them easy to find elsewhere.) You'll also find dates for our Crafts Bazaar.

Here is this year's list of supported organizations. We'll be posting more detailed profiles of each of them over the coming weeks. We also encourage you to look at the Auction FAQ (which has lots of useful information for people thinking about signing up as creators, as well as dedicated sections on bidding and on nonprofit orgs.) If you're raring to go, you can look at our bidding policies.

Lastly, in a couple of weeks we'll be kicking off our newly-revived offscreen activism blog @fthaction. Why not give it a follow?

FTH2025 Auction Calendar

Monday, January 20th: creator signups open for both the auction and the crafts bazaar

Sunday, February 2nd: creator signups close; craft bazaar signups remain open!

Friday, February 21st: browsing period begins, crafts bazaar opens

Tuesday, February 25th, 8am ET to Saturday, March 1 8pm ET: bidding is open!

Saturday, March 1st, 8pm ET: auction bidding closes

Monday, March 10th: craft stalls close

Wednesday, March 12th: proof of donations due

Wednesday, December 31st: fanworks due

...and if you're thinking the gap between the end of signups and the beginning of browsing period looks long: we have also noticed this! In order to accommodate some back-end changes that will help the auction run more smoothly, we've given ourselves an extra week to get ourselves set up. We've also got some stuff in the works to occupy that time -- we'll say more about that when the time arrives.

Together, we're going to make sure that there is at least one (1) good thing in the world with the number 2025 attached to it.

[codenamesazanka]

the leaks:

skimming through the entire chapter 431 with my rough translation skills.

Uraraka's Quirk Counseling expansion seems to be her (and Tsuyu) trying to single-handedly screen for problems and child abuse by spending one month at every single (elementary) school/school district? They're helped by volunteer heroes.

She's also helped by Hawks, who negotiating with the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology and other organizations to provide support to change quirk education.

She is the best hero. 😭😭😭

My worries about quirk counseling have been slightly mollified by this. Slightly. It's geared towards very young children, and we don't see the actual counseling, just Heroes spending time with kids to make sure they're not showing signs of distress, but it's nice to see this tiny glimpse.

Uraraka has dreams about Toga, and wonders if Toga left her blood/quirk/will inside of Uraraka similar to how OFA functioned. Uraraka can't remember the content of the dreams, though, and wonders if Toga is trying to send her a message.

Deku says he's developed a policy to help students develop their quirks. He also goes around to elementary schools and facilities and give lectures, sharing his experiences with young girls and boys.

Shouto has taken up pottery-making classes, after thinking a lot about fate and inevitability and his path

The entire class mobilizes to capture a car thief who may or may not have used his quirk - alert said that if he does just his quirk, it might cause a big accident? idk about this part.

When Deku asks Uraraka out, Uraraka finally remembers her Toga dream, which is Toga telling her that just like how Toga lived as she liked, Uraraka should live as she likes. So Uraraka says yes to going out with Deku.

.☠️☠️☠️.

Laughing so hard because 'go live as you please!' is so Toga! It's Toga's ideal and guiding principle. She clung to being her quirk-influenced, bisexual-love, creepy-smile self, fighting to love and die as herself. She would be happy for Ochako following her heart! But did it have to be the most conventional hetero cutesy romcom shit.

The OFA-esque accumulation of will and power of Toga's quirk and love and ideals............... to encourage Ochako to date Deku.

I don't believe the League is mentioned at all by name except for Toga via Uraraka's dream, and one line from Shouto saying he was praying at Touya's altar (thus confirming that Touya is dead).

AFO is mentioned but in context of young heroes deriving their impressions of heroism from the AFO battle? idk about this part.

Two flashbacks to Shigaraki, from Deku.

First is Deku flashbacking to him inside Tenko's heart, holding Tenko's hands, as he talks about how even if he had OFA, he would still come to want to be a teacher.

(Feel like this is interesting because AFO has always been 'Sensei'/teacher to Shigaraki. In a way it feels like Deku is trying to be a Good Teacher to AFO's Bad Teacher, I guess?)

Second is Deku ruminating on Shouto's talk about 'inevitability' and how he's doing everything he wanted, and he's blessed. He flashes back to Shigaraki's "Really, do your best," which is when he also notices Uraraka laughing and get heart eyes.

So i'm laughing again that even without a dream ghost, Shigaraki's words about destruction also gets used and recontexted to fuel Deku/Ochako.

Did that extra panel of Shigaraki's almost-smile in Chapter 423 come about just to give us this ~*~parallel~*~???

It's pure gold. Villainous creeds (Destroy everything / Live as I please) ultimately used to not even prop up the Heroes doing heroic stuff related to the society that the Villains were rebelling against... but rather to get Deku and Uraraka on a date.

[b3d-r0t]

"I don't know how I ever got this big!"

its an easy thing to tell people to shed some of the responsibility, to make it seem like it wasn't your fault.

But it's not true. Not for me it's not.

Because I do know. I do know how I got this big.

I made choices.

Choice after choice, day after day, hour after hour

I chose my greed over my health over and over again.

I chose to fill my kitchen with foods that I knew were bad for me , and my choice to ignore every healthy or reasonable option at the grocery store, because my lust for sugar, fat and salt, my immediate pleasure, was more important than my health, or my life.

And I chose to stuff my face with excessive amounts of that food every day, more and more.

I chose to conveniently ignore how my clothes continuously stopped fitting after only month because I was accumulating lard so quickly.

I chose to ignore the red stretch marks covering my belly, my hips, my ass, because I was gaining weight so quickly my body didn't know what to do, sending the fat anywhere it could, stretching, ripping my skin apart to accommodate the new blubber the signs of a body overwhelmed and scarred by gluttony , screaming , begging for a break, a chance to catch up for even just a moment.

I chose not to exercise or do anything even remotely active to try in any small way to counteract some of the damage being done by the type and amount of food I was consuming, if I wasn't going to fix my diet. I chose to lay in my bed and sit on my ass day after day, letting all those calories solidify and bury me deeper in rolls rather than burning them off doing something productive.

I chose to make no changes whatsoever even as I was diagnosed with diabetes , high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and countless other ailments.

I chose to make no changes, even as I watched my weight sore past 400, 500, 600 pounds...

I chose to give up my mobility willingly and happily even before my weight immobilized me, because that way I had an excuse to fully give up , be cared for and provided for by others all the time, and never be expected to get out of bed, or work, or leave home, ever again.

I made the choice to find every way to continue to enable my bad habits, my insatiable need for more and my profound laziness rather than work to improve myself or address the issues.

I chose to slowly kill myself and ruin my body with the fat I've drowned it in

I chose my own selfish pleasure over the concern and sadness of those that watched my descent into this shell of a person, that ignored their pleas for me to make a change and take care of my health

I chose to wait to take any kind of medication until it was the only way to keep my organs just barely scraping by at least a short while longer so I could continue to consume and push the limits of my body as far as possible for as long as possible

And I choose to continue fueling the ever consuming fire of my greed and the endless pit that is my stomach today until even the life support machines can't fight off the abuse I've done to my body any longer.

I choose to satisfy my desires rather than my needs. To listen to the false hunger that constantly aches in my stomach no matter how much I eat, endlessly needing more.

I choose to continue enabling my gluttony to become somehow even worse by installing a permanent feeding tube for me to keep in my suckling mouth in the minutes between when I finish one meal and the next is brought to me, and between bites, even while I'm sleeping, because i can't go even a moment without something filling my stomach

I make choices based on what's going to make me feel good right now, not using my actual thoughts or intellect to discern what's best for me to do.

[lesbicosmos-writes]

@deadboyween day 4!!

day 4 prompt: orbs

summary: edwin is worried about charles, who just will not sit still. he knows something is troubling him, but he just won't talk about it. eventually, he exhausts himself so much he reverts into orb form.

notes: when i made the prompt list this was the one i was determined to write something for, so when i realised it was TODAY and i hadn't written anything yet, i just kinda threw this together oops

also on ao3!!

and it feels good to be known so well

Charles Rowland rarely sat still. He always had to be somewhat dynamic, whether it be bouncing his leg up and down or fidgeting with whatever was in his hands at the time. He was fine if he was focused, like during client interviews and while on cases, but when he was just relaxing, he was never truly still.

That had been the case for as long as Edwin could remember, but Charles’s constant movement had never been quite as bad as it had been for the last few weeks. Even seeing him sitting down at all had been a rarity.

He’d been on his feet for so long that he just looked so…tired. Ghosts may not sleep, but that didn’t mean they could keep moving forever without so much as a break. Edwin had been beginning to worry. Something was bothering him, that much was clear. And the way he kept looking directly at Edwin, as though to say something, then immediately looked away as soon as the other boy made eye contact, really didn’t help Edwin’s growing anxiety.

“Charles, are you quite alright?” he asked, putting his notebook away in the drawer of his desk and giving the boy his full attention. “I know you’re usually very mobile but there is clearly something on your mind.”

“I’m good, mate. Don’t worry about me,” Charles replied simply.

Edwin knew Charles well enough to tell when what he said was just a pre-programmed response to get people to stop worrying about him, no matter what was going on in that brilliant-yet-troubled mind of his. Edwin also, however, knew Charles well enough to tell when pushing him to talk wasn’t a good idea. And it was clear that this wasn’t the time, so Edwin chose support over questioning.

“Okay, but if you do need to talk, you know I’m always here to listen. And please sit down, you look exhausted.”

“I said I’m fine, Edwin,” Charles said again, snappier. He immediately regretted his tone. “Just…”

Then, Charles seemed to wobble a little on his feet. He let out a shaky breath, even though his lungs hadn’t truly inhaled air in thirty-five years, and leaned back against the arm of the sofa as though to steady himself.

“Charles…?”

“Shit, Edwin, I think…”

Before Charles could even finish his sentence, a spot on his chest just over his unbeating heart began to glow, and within a few seconds the rest of his corporeal form had faded away, leaving only a glowing sphere in his place.

“Charles!”

Edwin rushed over to the sofa, just catching the orb before it rolled off the sofa and onto the ground. He lifted the pulsing light to face height, inspecting it as though it could actually be harmed.

“This is the second time in two weeks, Charles. Please, just talk to me, you’re exhausting yourself,” he sighed, trying to fight back tears he couldn’t quite explain.

He thought things had gotten better since Port Townsend. He thought they had agreed to talk when they had important things on their mind, no matter what. He thought they weren’t keeping the deep stuff quiet anymore.

Evidently, he was wrong. Edwin couldn’t help but think that perhaps it was his confession that had caused them to backtrack so significantly in terms of communication. Sure, Charles told him that he was fine with it, that it hadn’t changed anything between them, that they were still the most important people in the world to each other – and Edwin believed him. At first glance, it would seem that they were just as close as they had been before – closer, even. Charles seemed more inclined to initiate physical contact than ever, and always seemed to be calmest when Edwin was in the room with him. But Edwin also knew Charles had gotten very good at keeping things locked up inside himself, especially things that could potentially make him feel like a burden. If everyone would be happier without it being said, it wouldn’t be said. Edwin genuinely thought that if you were to look up people pleaser in a dictionary, all that would be written there as its definition would be Charles Rowland’s name.

So if his confession had changed things, if Charles really was worrying about it, of course he wouldn’t mention it. If it had changed things, of course he might think twice about being quite so open about his own struggles. Edwin just wished he understood just how much he loved him. Not necessarily the love that made Edwin want to kiss Charles, to touch him in a romantic sense – but the love that made him always want Charles around, the love that made Charles the most important person in Edwin’s universe, the love that he had for him no matter what, no matter whether or not he returned Edwin’s romantic feelings.

Edwin just loved Charles because of who he was, and he always had. He hoped one day the other boy might finally understand that, so he knew intrinsically that he really could talk to him about anything, and didn’t have to bottle it up so much that things like this happened so often.

Edwin returned to his desk, but didn’t pull his notebook back out just yet. He simply sat there, Charles’s most pure and natural form floating slightly in his palms.

A few hours later, Charles had still not returned back to his usual gangly, grinning form. He was still just that tiny sphere of glowing energy. He’d been rolling around on the desk for the better part of half an hour – Edwin scolded him for moving around in this state when his constant activity was what prompted it in the first place – and had now found a place to settle.

He was nestled on Edwin’s shoulder, as though peering over him to look at his notebook like he usually did in his corporeal body. Every so often he nuzzled closer to Edwin’s neck, and Edwin couldn’t help the sense of pride and comfort he felt in the knowledge that Charles felt safe with him, no matter what secrets might be causing problems in his currently non-existent head.

The quiet of the room was interrupted when the door to the office opened and Crystal walked in.

“Hey, Edwin, have you seen Charles-” she began, but cut herself off when she spotted the flickering sphere on Edwin’s shoulder. “What’s that?”

“Oh. Hello, Crystal. Uh, this is Charles,” Edwin said.

“I’m sorry, what? He’s…a blob?” Crystal looked confused as she took her coat off, laying it across the empty sofa.

“An orb,” Edwin corrected. “It happens to us sometimes when we get tired. We may not be able to sleep like the living do, but we can compress ourselves into our most natural form – pure spectral energy. Well, I say we can. Sometimes it is involuntary, like fainting. That’s what happened to Charles.”

“Okay, that’s…kind of cool actually. Like ghost hibernation.”

As Crystal walked over towards the desk, Charles seemed to vibrate, growing brighter for a couple of seconds before dimming again.

“That’s him saying hello,” Edwin clarified.

“Oh. Hey, Charles! Wait…he can hear us?”

“Yes. Well, no. Sort of. He can sense that you’re here but perhaps not understand what you’re saying. Well, if we do hear we forget it when we turn back. We don’t fully understand it, if we’re honest.”

“Right,” Crystal said, clearly understanding even less than Edwin did.

The orb moved again, this time towards the side of Edwin’s neck as he had been doing all afternoon. Edwin chuckled – it did always tickle a little when he did that.

“Charles tends to get clingy when he’s like this,” Edwin turned back to Crystal, who had sat opposite him in the chair usually reserved for clients.

Edwin from a few months ago might have told her to move, or at least given her a glaring look, but now-Edwin simply smiled at her. They’d become good friends since everything, once they’d both realised they were being a little unfair taking out their frustrations on one another.

“He told me once that it is like his way of ensuring me he is there even when he cannot exactly talk. He seems to have a proclivity for always having to be near me in some way, especially since Hell,” he continued.

“I had noticed that,” Crystal said.

“I keep trying to tell him he doesn’t have to, that I can protect myself, but he just won’t listen.”

“It does seem like protecting you makes him happy,” she commented.

“I know. And I like knowing that he is happy, of course I do. But he seems to think that if he isn’t useful to me, then I will not want him around.”

“He’s like the biggest people pleaser I’ve ever met.”

“I just wish he knew that I want him around no matter what.”

Edwin turned to look sadly at his shoulder as he spoke. Charles only nuzzled even closer.

Crystal leaned further towards him, comforting.

“I’m sure he does know that, Edwin, it’s just… it’s just who he is. I think with everything that happened when he was alive, he constantly feels like he has to prove himself to everyone because he could never seem to be good enough for anyone. His dad beat him, and even the people he thought were his friends turned on him and fucking killed him. He’s gonna have a lot of trauma from that. Even if he refuses to really talk about it.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

“Also, if he can hear us right now, I’m sure he’ll know he can talk to us if he needs to,” Crystal said, her voice growing louder at the end as though specifically intending for Charles to hear.

Edwin appreciated how much she cared. Despite his initial jealousy and coldness towards her, it was nice having someone else who cared for Charles so deeply.

“I hope so. Especially since…” he took a deep breath. He hadn’t expected to be confiding in Crystal about this, but he was glad she came over. “Lately, he’s seemed even more distracted. Something is weighing on him – this is the second time he’s transformed in the past fortnight. I wish he would talk to me instead of keeping it inside.”

Crystal nodded slightly, her face unexpectedly relaxing a little.

“Okay, I think I know what specifically it’s been about more recently,” she said.

“Really? Did he talk to you about it?”

He tried not to be a little sad at the idea that Charles went to Crystal about it before he went to him. It was irrational, of course – he knew the two of them were close, and of course he loved Crystal – but it wasn’t helping that little voice in the back of his head that kept thinking something had changed between them since Hell, that he didn’t feel as comfortable sharing things with him anymore.

“Not exactly,” Crystal said, and Edwin’s mind eased. “I kind of figured it out and brought it up.”

“What is it? Is something wrong?”

“No, no, nothing like that, don’t worry,” Crystal reassured him, clearly noticing this was causing Edwin distress. “Look, I’m not the one who should tell you about it, so just believe me that it’s nothing bad, please.”

Edwin sighed.

“Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I promise. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

What could he possibly need to prepare to tell him? Edwin desperately suppressed the many anxiety-riddled questions and possibilities his tireless mind thought up.

“I’ll be here for him no matter what,” he said.

“I know,” Crystal smiled. “You always are.”

Edwin smiled back at her – the sister he never had. Crystal suddenly reached her hand up to her face and wiped a tear from her eye before it even had chance to fall.

“Alright, enough of that,” she sniffled. “I just came to say I’m not gonna be here for the next couple days. I’m meeting up with a few old friends, I wanna try and fix things. If I can.”

“Of course. I know you can, Crystal. I’m aware I don’t say things like this often, but you really are such a lovely person. I don’t know exactly what you did to these friends before everything happened, but I hope they see how much you’ve changed.”

“Thanks, Edwin. That…it means a lot.”

Both of them looked at one another for a few seconds, the small smiles still on both of their faces.

Then, all of a sudden, the orb on Edwin’s shoulder grew brighter, and brighter, and brighter.

“Woah, what’s-”

Before Crystal could ask, the light faded, and Charles’s familiar form faded back into corporeality. Since he had been perched on Edwin, he was sat on the arm of the chair practically clung to him when he opened his eyes.

“Charles! Good to have you back,” Edwin sighed, relieved.

“I need to talk to you,” Charles said, looking directly into his eyes.

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Crystal said, standing up from the chair and grabbing her coat from the sofa. “I’ll see you guys on Wednesday, yeah?”

“Goodbye, Crystal. Good luck.”

With that, Crystal left the office. Edwin swore he saw her give Charles a smile and a thumbs up as she left the room.

Edwin turned, surprised to see Charles hadn’t even moved, and was still all but pressed up against his side.

“How are you feeling?” Edwin asked, trying not to focus too hard on the proximity.

“Better. Thanks.”

“Are you sure? I’m not trying to pry, but I’m getting worried about you Charles. We said we’d talk-”

As Edwin spoke, Charles moved – but only to face him, leaning back against the desk like he did when they had clients.

“I know, mate. I’m sorry, I just…right, I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you about something but I didn’t know how or when or if, and I guess…that rest I just got kind of gave me time to think a bit more without there being everything else,” Charles explained.

Edwin was confused, but gave him the chance to talk.

“Right. Is there something wrong, or…?”

“No! God, no, Edwin. Shit, I’ve really stressed you out, haven’t I?”

“Yes, I rather think you have,” Edwin chuckled. “I guess I’ve just been worried that perhaps…you feel differently about our agreement to talk to each other about things since I told you what I did in Hell.”

“What? Edwin, no. Fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise-”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” Edwin told him, reaching out to take his hands.

Maybe that was overstepping, but Charles didn’t complain or pull away – quite the opposite: he held Edwin back.

“No, I do. You’ve been here thinking I…god, I’m sorry. I swear, what you told me in Hell is…well actually I guess it kind of is why I’ve been acting all weird, but it’s not what you’re thinking, I promise.”

“Then what?”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, right? Ever since you told me what you did. I wanted to properly think on it because I love you so much and, like, I know we’d be us no matter what, but I just couldn’t just let this go, could I?”

Edwin opened his mouth to say something, but Charles cut him off.

“I know what you’re gonna say. You’re thinking I’m doing what I always do and just telling you what you wanna hear, but I’m not. I needed to think about this for me as well as for you.”

“And…?” Edwin prompted, trying not to sound as hopeful as he was steadily growing to be.

“Well, I was just driving myself insane, wasn’t I? I had no idea how to put this shit into words or figure out what it means. But then Crystal brought it up, and you know what she’s like – she’s direct about shit. And it really helped. She kinda put everything about this into perspective. ‘Cause, like, I was trying to find someone to compare my feelings to, to figure out if I felt the same, but, like, I’ve never been in love. I don’t know what that feels like. Sure I had a couple of girlfriends when I was alive but that was just typical teen romance, doing it just because it was expected of you and because it felt good. It was never proper love. All I knew was that you weren’t like anyone I’ve ever known. And Crystal helped me realise that maybe…”

Charles held Edwin’s hand tighter.

Edwin tried not to breathe too heavily, looking up at Charles with such hope and love and relief in his eyes.

“Maybe I’ve been in love with you since the start. I knew you were different, but we just clicked so well I didn’t even realise what that difference was, that it was deeper. You’re my best friend above everything else, but there’s definitely something else too. I just needed a little help to see it.”

“Charles, what are you saying?” Edwin asked.

He knew what he was saying. Of course he did. But he couldn’t quite believe it, so he asked anyway.

Charles reached his other hand out and tipped Edwin’s head up slightly by his chin, ensuring they were making eye contact.

“I’m in love with you. Always have been.”

Edwin couldn’t help the soft surprised noise that escaped his throat.

“Charles…why were you getting so stressed about this? You know you could have told me before it got to this point.”

“I know, it’s just…I think it took a while for me to realise I could have this. Like, obviously I knew you felt the same, but…I didn’t feel worthy? Almost. I don’t know. I never- I never really knew what proper romantic love was. My parents, maybe they were in love once, before I came along, but I don’t remember it. The only long-term romantic relationship I really knew was one full of fear and like, tension. And abuse. I guess I just worried I might not know how to do this, so maybe you wouldn’t want to. I dunno, it’s stupid.”

“No. It’s not stupid, Charles.”

Edwin held Charles’s hands under his own chin.

“Well, the idea that you aren’t worthy of my love is preposterous, but I understand why you might have felt like that. I know your family weren’t the image of love you wanted to see growing up. I can’t exactly say my own were either. But I promise you; your love, in all its forms, is beautiful. You might not think you know how to do this, but you’re doing it brilliantly. Even if you didn’t feel the same romantic inclinations I do, you are enough. You’re so, so much more than enough.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Charles couldn’t hold back any longer – he surged forwards, wrapping his arms around Edwin. It was awkward, with Edwin still sitting in the chair, so Edwin stood up. The two of them pressed up against each other, holding the other close as though they could disappear at any second.

Edwin only held him closer when he heard a quiet sniffle come from Charles.

“I love you,” he mumbled into Edwin’s shoulder, and Edwin swore a rush of warmth flooded his cold dead heart.

“I love you too,” Edwin replied. “More than anything.”

When they broke apart, they simply looked at each other for a moment, soft smiles on their faces.

“Can I kiss you?” Charles asked, and Edwin didn’t think he’d ever heard him sound so quiet, his mind so still.

“Of course you can.”

Edwin had been dreaming about this moment for a while, no matter how hard he tried not to. Every so often, his thoughts would wander to what Charles’s lips would feel like against his own, whether their kisses would be hungry and passionate or soft and gentle – or a little of both.

He always imagined, in the rare instances that he allowed himself to ponder the potentiality of Charles one day feeling the same way, that their first kiss would be quick, in the heat of the moment. Charles had always been an impulsive person, so he imagined this would be no different. Perhaps they’d be out on a case and Charles would pull him aside, crush their lips together and whisper a hurried ‘talk later?’ before getting back to the task at hand.

Edwin had never been happier to be wrong. Obviously, he wouldn’t have predicted or asked for the circumstances that led up to this, for Charles’s emotional conflict and physical and emotional exhaustion, but this moment, their lips meeting softly in the early evening light that poured in through the office window, was perfect.

When their mouths separated, Edwin kept his eyes closed for a few seconds, just revelling in the moment. Then, he opened them and oh he was glad he did – Charles looked incandescently beautiful standing before him, his lips slightly parted, his eyes huge and focused on him.

They both moved together for a second kiss, resting their foreheads against each other when their lips broke apart, as though being even centimetres apart from one another was a curse.

“I’m sorry, about the stress, and about the…orb-ing thing,” Charles said quietly, and Edwin swore he could feel breath against his own lips. That wasn’t possible, though. Ghosts didn’t breathe.

“Charles, it’s alright. I’m just glad you’re not suffering without telling me. Besides, we finally had an opportunity to explain our exhaustion symptoms to Crystal. You gave her a very confused fright when she first walked in and saw you.”

“Oh, I bet.”

Both of them laughed, heads falling onto each other’s shoulder.

When they separated, Edwin took a step back. But Charles kept his hand where it was on Edwin’s waist.

“Can we…go to the sofa? I don’t…wanna let go just yet.”

Edwin just smiled, smitten.

“Of course, Charles.”

The two of them settled together on the sofa – it was a little bigger than their old one, but still too small to fit two nearly six feet tall teenage ghosts if they wanted any semblance of space between them. Luckily, these two ghosts specifically weren’t bothered about space.

Charles positioned himself practically on top of Edwin, curled up on his chest, quiet and still. Edwin’s arms wrapped around Charles’s waist, keeping him close. He’d never really known quite how much he wanted this – how much he craved this – just being this close to the boy he loved most, touching in any way they could. Charles shuffled impossibly closer, nuzzling his face into Edwin’s neck in the same way he had earlier while in his orb form. The only difference was this time, Charles left gentle kisses there too. This time, he could definitely feel the warmth of Charles pressed against him. This time, there was no stress, no anxiety, no panicking. This time, the two of them were all that mattered.

They held each other tightly. Two spirits, at their core just bundles of pure energy, transforming that energy into love for the other.

[briarpatch-kids]

Seeing the latest discourse I feel like there needs to be some sort of. Disability dictionary? To outline "these are the terms with legal definitions that are not up for debate" and "these are the terms with general definitions that can be interpreted in x y z ways." Like the severely disabled thing, you were using the legal definition/understanding of the term, while that other person was using a social understanding of the term. They do absolutely deserve better help and the situation they're living in is abysmal, not being able to afford what you need to not live in pain every day would be horrible for anyone, but. They didn't seem to be understanding how the definition of "severely disabled" you were using had actual legal basis and guidelines for qualifications of the term and hence help. You weren't arguing the level of care and accommodations they would definitely benefit from, more just pointing out that legally speaking you two have different experiences, and only yours qualifies for the help offered in our current support systems for in home care. Which frankly that sucks! People who would benefit from care and higher level mobility aides should be given them, even if they can "do without" if they absolutely have to, even if they're in pain. But that isn't how the system works and it's not how "severely disabled," as a legal term, is defined. So many distinctions like these don't seem to be common knowledge. The scope of disability is wide and many people belong in this community, but if most people aren't on the same page on how to use the terms that already exist, it makes it harder not just to find people with similar experiences but also to just. Communicate with other people in the community. A lack of shared understanding of community terms can really create massive obstacles for mutual understanding and community organizing. I wonder if anyone's made a dictionary for things like this, and if they haven't, maybe it can be a community project...?

I feel like that would be awesome, but I also want to be nowhere NEAR the discourse of writing it. I'd imagine a whole lot of people like the one I dealt with earlier would want to control the narrative and the amount of arguments and stuff would be SO exhausting.

Ideally it would include things like "here's when I should have started using a manual wheelchair" "here's when I should have started using a powerchair" "this is what needing a ventilator feels like and heres why/how I got mine" and stuff like that from people with experience. Or like "this is how a disability assessment works and this is what theyre going to ask and what each question means" and "here's how to get aide hours in [country] and what qualifies for them."

Basic stuff for people new to disability and worried about what's going to happen or don't have any idea how it all works. It would be great to have multiple voices with a variety of circumstances and disabilities. Maybe a little section with different people and how they live just to give a picture of like... what life with SMA or a spinal cord injury or whatever is like. The good and bad and what kind of goals and hobbies they have and what they're interested in. The part that scares a lot of disabled people is the future and seeing people just out there living helps so much with that.

[axnewxera]

// I've been deep in thought the last few days about Rufus and his character. I just started this blog and I'm still fleshing out my muse in my head.

So. I'mma dump some of my headcanon on the character, and this WILL affect how I RP him and this WILL get long and ranty.

(I'm sorry if the format is wonky, I'm laying in bed on mobile. Also spoilers of pretty much all FF7 media ahoy)

In the original game (and arguably in different levels in other media since then), Rufus is definitely presented as a villain.

His big introduction in the original game has him giving off this big speech to the party about how his father was too soft on the world with propaganda and narrative control and intended to instead rule through fear and intimidation. He stages a public execution of our party members late in the game. He tries to take Cid's plane instead of reviving the space program. He sent Cait Sith to act as a Shinra spy on our party (or at least was aware of this, as the Turks actively follow Cait Sith's intel). He bankrolled Avalanche to essentially backstab his father! He's very manipulative and deceitful and you can never quite trust him!

But honestly..... Nothing he's actually done has me convinced that he was ever actually a bad guy.

Yes, he SAYS how bad he is when you first meet him in the original. He definitely seems to WANT to be the big villain of the series. But Sephiroth's greater threat to the planet aside... Rufus is just not that guy.

Is Shinra, Inc. evil? Oh hell yeah. Heidegger, Scarlet? Yup. Hojo? LOL

But almost IMMEDIATELY after becoming president, Rufus started suppressing Heidegger and (presumably) Scarlet. Heidegger seemed to be THE dude for President Shinra. The two were very much in alignment in their goals and methods. And Rufus lowers him by berating him and never taking him seriously. Not to mention the fact that he basically started an eco-terrorist group to get his heartless evil father gone.

Even though he starts off saying how little the common people mean to him, his goals from very early on are to protect the world from Sephiroth, and to spearhead the effort to find the Promised Land. Even his execution of Barrett and Tifa is an attempt to comfort the people (and, I suspect, to draw Cloud out of hiding) - but he never seems too upset that they escaped the attempt. Or that Cait Sith remains on the party after his usefulness as a spy was over.

He comes off as arrogant and tricky, he sure does some mean things... but his intentions are noble, and his known tendency to play both sides of any conflict - secretly funding Avalanche, secretly funding the World Regenesis Organization, whatever amazing shenanigans are going on in the remakes with Wutai and Viceroy Sarruf - has me doubting that the "evil" stuff like the execution were even intended to actually take place. He's pulling strings to get people where he wants them.

Rufus can't just SAY what he wants. Advent Children is a good example - his intentions are much more openly "good", but no one believes him and there's all this doubt and "What is he really up to?" that swirl around his character. When it counted, he seemed surprisingly honest, yet it just pushed Cloud away.

If he came out as the president of this huge evil corporation and laid out his noble intentions to the world, everyone would doubt him every step of the way and his plans would never get done. Not to mention the very likely possibility that Heidegger and Scarlet and whatever supporters President Shinra still had would stage some sort of coup against him in that event. He still has to be a Shinra. So he does it to play the game, give the world or sometimes our party a villain to unite against, and get things done.

I also think Rufus sees HIMSELF as a villain, even though his intentions are pure. He's a Shinra, after all, and was raised by his father to be this heartless embodiment of pride and corporation. All that lying and manipulating and double-dealing leaves a mark on the psyche. He is fully comfortable presenting himself as the villain because he believes that's who he is, but he disagrees with his father's goals and methods so much that he actively sabotages himself.

I'm not sure if any of this was the writers' actual intent or if it's just all my interpretation, buuuuuut that's the fun of RP right? Getting to dig deeper and assign your own spin on the character.

[flowersofevilvn]

Does Wither do good in in the heat? Like 100° F type stuff?

Yeah, he does! He's originally from an alpine region and his basic composition was made to thrive in permafrost conditions, but given how flexible and adaptive he is as a colonial organism, he can easily propagate what supportive plantlife he uses as the basis of his body to fit the region. He'd do better in a tropical environment than a desert one, though- he hasn't quite figured out how to get cacti and drought resistant plants to do what he needs to support his fungal nervous system and retain mobility.

If he were to wander into a desert for too long he'd likely be able to assume the local plantlife, but lose a lot of his actual benefits functionality in the process. In especially hot temperatures, he has a series of xylem and phloem tubes that run along the most sensitive parts of his nervous system, circulating water and functioning to keep him cool.

He absolutely pops off in the tropics, though. He spent some time there for a while just making himself look absurdly pretty and listening to all the birds and insects.

[nonuel]

so, mass effect galaxy ends with the big bad telling jacob that they are more alike than he thinks - that jacob would also go to great lengths to protect his own people. you know, standard villain stock phrases and stuff. there are a few options jacob can say here, but as the game is defunct and there's only one existing playthrough left of it that i can find, i have no way of knowing what all the variances are. the playthrough has jacob say "we are nothing alike" - you know, standard hero stock phrases and stuff - and that's really it, the game ends, jacob saved the day, and we never hear anything about this ever again

this bothers me, because i can't help feeling this was the perfect set up for what jacob's loyalty should have been about. while the lines exchanged were cliché, they're cliché for a reason: the villain is often a foil to the hero in any given story, and while mass effect galaxy is a mobile game of limited storytelling, it is Still A Story where the writers were making conscious decisions to include the dialogue and story beats that they did

when you combine this with the fact that (1) jacob is introduced to us as a counterpart to miranda's staunch support of cerberus, someone who is far more critical and doubtful of cerberus; (2) yet he is in cerberus anyway because of the freedom it allows for him to get the job done in a way he was unable to in the alliance; (3) then when you ask jack's opinion of him, she says "jacob doesn't know who he is"; (4) and when you ask samara's opinion of him, she says "events will either forge him into a great man, or utterly destroy him"...

all of these provide a proper set up for a loyalty that would have jacob reckoning with the idea he is, in fact, willing to go to certain and possibly dubious lengths to do what he think is right for humanity. he is already on this path by willingly being in cerberus, instead of staying within the tried and true but often utterly ineffective method (as evidenced in me2) of being in the alliance

note here that this is not a criticism of the alliance per se so much as an observation of the obvious. the alliance is an organization that cannot afford to do what it pleases regardless of the cost, because if it did, then it would have no allies and various wars. these are the sacrifices that have to be made to Exist In Society. this naturally means that the alliance is not always effective at its stated goals

jacob is an action-oriented character concerned with doing good, but he didn't have to join cerberus to keep doing good, because one's standard for "doing good" is subjective. let's contrast him with another action-oriented character concerned with doing good who doesn't join cerberus, and in fact is utterly hostile toward the idea of doing so: kaidan. this post is not about kaidan and i have no desire to derail it by spending much time on him, but i want to illustrate a point

kaidan, much like jacob with cerberus, is willing to criticize the alliance but overall defends them as being the best option. unlike jacob, he is unwilling to meaningfully consider alternatives due to his own personal hangups that relate to his story and background. despite his own misgivings, kaidan will stay with the alliance because he believes it will always be better than joining cerberus, even if cerberus is objectively doing a better job in the moment of handling a dire situation. this is all to say: kaidan already has a hard limit of what he is personally willing to do in order to "do good" like he wants

we never see this hard limit for jacob, hence my saying he is already on the path of doing whatever it takes by merely joining cerberus. my personal feelings of cerberus aside (as that would really derail this post), they are known for the dubious methods they are willing to take to get what they want and are, canonically, classified as a terrorist organization

it would have made a lot more sense to actually explore this hard limit in jacob for his loyalty, rather than we got. what is jacob's limit? what lengths is he actually willing to go in order to do what he feels is right? what effect does this have on him? and this is where jack and samara's statements about him materialize. like most of the loyalties, there would've been a paragon and a renegade route, and samara's prediction would correlate with whichever route was done. and at the end of it, jacob would grapple with his identity in a way a lot of the squadmates do at the end of theirs, and this is where jack's assessment would be answered. jacob would know who he is at the end of his loyalty, for better or for worse

the details of whatever it is jacob does isn't really the point of this post, because it could really be anything as long as the dilemma within the loyalty was sufficiently complex enough. i personally think something involving cerberus, the alliance, and characters from mass effect galaxy would be best, because these are all things that already relate to jacob's character and the main plot (or significant b plots)

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary621

6/14-15/25

saturday - sunday

eventful, i guess.

i haven't done much at home stuff, no writing, a little reading, i went out and did something i'm mixed about. not because i think action is wrong, just that it mostly didn't feel like action. i'm also mixed about writing about it. i don't want to come off like... i dunno, like i'm trying to use it in some way that makes me seem good. or like i think it means that, or something. like it can save a soul or something. i mean, obviously not. i wrote a lot but deleted it because i was just like, i don't know, i think it must all be very obvious, but talking about it here now, after a lot of thinking, or circular wandering in my head, i suppose i should be frank about it.

mostly, the protest felt like it had any turn out, and any momentum, because of the preceding protests / riots / action in la and the 11th, here. people mostly came because they wanted to make it known they don't like ice. however, the position the protest creates for itself, by naming itself no kings, and so on, all that particular pageantry, makes it easy to make the fact that out here, and probably lots of other places, especially out this way in the country, there's most likely a lot of energy coming into this from that particular movement/this moment we find ourselves in where the state is using ice as a freakish military to destroy people's lives. this is the animating force, however, because it's right beside this super-lib-y thing, that gets muddled, comes off weaker because there are people there who will attempt to excise the word 'ice' from chants and replace it with 'trump,' because they want to point at him in particular. which i just don't get, and i didn't like all the flag imagery, all the stuff about this being what democracy is, all the stuff about the constitution and trump being a criminal. that has no bearing on these things happening to people. but people came out and i think, as clumsy as this whole ordeal is, and as questionable an effect it could have (i don't think anyone went with much expectation that this would change things, it feels mostly like people need to / want to articulate that they feel this way, that it's not just anonymized voices online, families came, as much lame american flag stuff as there was, lots of people came wrapped in the flag of mexico, and there were people ready to try and protect others from tear gas if it came, with umbrellas), ultimately something which expresses support for feeling a certain way, negatively towards ice, accomplishing nothing. but maybe it means there's potential. i can't find any solid reporting about ice raids here, where they happen, i would like to know, where they're doing these things, what they're doing, what anyone could do, what anyone could mobilize any of this energy towards. but it's kept opaque by media.

at one point, dina titus, a congresswoman, came out, and was like wow, this is amazing, i don't want any kings either!! it's so peaceful!! ha ha!! and it's like she's just a zionist, you know. she came out, talked to people, had photos taken by journalists, police watched with huge loops of zip ties hanging off their belts.

the protest also had a time limit from the organizers, and as soon as that came, basically, they were like, time to go, 20 minutes to go, time to go, you know, and just like, fled. it's so maddening. there was a kid who got arrested, apparently, only 15 people were arrested, and 4 were teens, we saw one of them, he was just sitting there doing nothing. we yelled at the police but it is upsetting thinking that, i don't know, it was a lot of people who don't seem to know entirely what to do about that, i mean, i don't, i don't know anything at all about de-arresting. looking into it now, that was like 8 cops grabbing one kid, what shot did like, my friend have, the 4 of us split in half by this thing happening, and then, all these other people in a confused mass too. there were people who stayed late, and it's good that a bunch of them were not arrested, from what i know happened on the 11th out here, 100 people roughly were arrested. this one was very very like, not aggressive, people did bring their kids, so i guess going crazy would have looked bad, there were kids there, yelling about ice, there is at least a nice sense of solidarity in that.

the whole thing was organized very very in line with the police i think, they were everywhere, they quickly moved us out of there, anyone who stayed was at a lot of risk.

i feel bad that i wasn't more radical or something, i feel bad that it was limited in potential that way, but that's the point and it's at least a showing of solidarity. but, you know, you wish you could do more, fix everything, i wish i did more, but i also feel like that panic about some lack of action isn't getting me anywhere and it's just this thing that comes from absorbing the voices of others, i have to shed that, completely.

i have been watching the adam curtis doc, shifty, the new one. i think i need to watch his one about russia because i think his films without narration might be a kind of peak for him as a filmmaker.

a bug got in here... not the kind i hate, it wasn't a roach, it was a caterpillar of some kind... i threw it back outside, hopefully it does well, it's strange it came in here, it was really sprinting on the ground. if my gf saw that she would have screamed really really loud.

my friends that were there, at the protest, i am glad we all were together and had eachother's back at least.

i really have to get other people out of my head, i know that's obvious and it's not like, new to me, i just really have to. it's a kind of craziness that's totally totally totally nothing and doesn't actually make anyone kinder or more 'effective.' and when have i ever cared about use value of a person. this has nothing to do with me seeing critiques of these particular protests, the no kings thing, i think most analysis on that is right, it's just despair over the sense i don't do enough.

should i watch the show this is an op for... and the performance is so beautiful. i want everything to be a little bit like this. it soothes me, at least, right now.

i don't think i will draw... i'm so tired. the heat out here makes you feel so deathly...

local band i like put this out:

i like that they're screaming more on the new stuff. kind of an ideal synth-y dance punk neo no wave-y thing. not sure how i feel about the chorus synth being that big pad blast. it sounds good, i just, i dunno, i like the synth riff thing a ton more. maybe i just wish it were something like a blast of noise. it comes off more digital hardcore-y to me, which is fine but i also find myself wanting to move away from that kind of music a lot. i'm also nitpicking a song i like a lot. i don't know why. i guess trying to find some difference with it, so i feel like i can exceed it maybe. but i mean, they're better than me anyway, who cares.

i watched 4 episodes of this adam curtis thing.

i found this rather funny to drop in. i'll try to find the 5th bit of it tomorrow. i am rather tired now,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[theresattrpgforthat]

Any good stuff for psychic vigilantes fighting from the shadows? Apologies if this is too vague or if I’m asking wrong.

THEME: Psychic Vigilantes.

Oh boy oh boy I am excited about this ask!! Buckle up, this week's gonna be a good one!! I got some pulp action goodness, some horror, and some cyberpunk for you.

Psych-0 Team!, by John Pineapple.

A one-page TTRPG about psychic agents saving the world! Heavily inspired by the TTRPG "Lasers and Feelings”.

This is a game about being psychic secret agents, so it’s a very different feeling from being on the run from the law. However, I think it might be a good introduction to something a bit grittier, and could possibly be re-tooled to make you part of a secret vigilante organization as well! The game system is very lightweight, using only d6’s, and implements a staggered level of success, so not every win will look or feel the same. Definitely worth checking out!

Psi*Run, by Meguey & Vincent Baker.

Whoever’s after you, you know one thing: they will stop at nothing to capture you and you’ll stop at nothing to stay free. The holes in your memory vie for attention with your startling abilities - stay one step ahead of the Chasers long enough to answer your questions, and hope your psychic powers don’t go wild.

I don’t know much about this game specifically, but Meguey & Vincent Baker of Lumpley Games have made their stamp on the ttrpg scene with games like Apocalypse World, Under Hollow Hills, and Mobile Zero: Firebrands. Their approach to game design births games with mechanics that replicate emotions and genre mainstays very well. I expect this game to do the same for a game about being insanely powerful and yet always on the run.

Bellbottoms and Brainwaves, by Mekkekat.

The United States military has been conducting secret experiments on “willing” subjects in a program called PSY-CLOPS (Psychic Covert Learning Operatives). The program has successfully created a 6th sense in a  REDACTED number of subjects. This 6th sense can manifest within a subject in several ways, but all of these abilities are simply referred to as ‘powers’. The project has been funded for the past REDACTED years, but in last month, there was a problem. The Pentagon wants answers. REDACTED subjects have managed to escape.

This is a brutally short game that places you right into a cinematic 1960’s, with each character given a different suite of powers - and a different list of consequences that can get pretty brutal pretty quickly, so make sure you go over the possibilities with your group and apply safety tools in this kind of game. This game starts you out as on the run from a government agency, but go on the run long enough and you’re a vigilante by default, aren’t you?

The game itself is free, and if you want an online character keeper, I’ve made one here!

Syndrome, by Ill Advised Gaming.

Syndrome is a cyberpunk setting with strong elements of body horror in the vein of Scanners or Akira. High tech, low lifes dealing with illness in a society that fears them. Powerful and vulnerable in equal measure with only their fellow Nockers for support.

Built off of Caltrop Core and borrowing elements of systems like Apocalypse World and Unified Cutlery Theory, Syndrome frames psychic abilities as a metaphor for disability; in a world where data chips and facial recognition software are par for the course, psychics are off the map. Invisible. Marginalized. Perfect for both poverty and vigilantism. Syndrome is a pretty horror-heavy game, so I wouldn’t advise trying to run a power-fantasy in this game, but if you’re looking for a way to talk about living on the margins with some unique tools to strike back, it might be worth checking out!

Psychopunk, by Gormengeist. (@gormengeist)

PSYCHOPUNK is a TTRPG about being poor, being psychic, and murdering law enforcement. In order to play, you need a deck of cards, a d12, paper and pencils, and a can-do attitude. It's best with one game master [A.K.A the Scripter], and 2 to 5 players.

The year is 2022. Being poor is punishable by death- or perhaps worse- Time Prison. You are poor. But you’re also psychic, which very few lowly peasants such as yourself are. This means that where most people in your situation are rat meat, you are (probably) alive. For now.

If you want to keep it that way, you’ll need to evade the law, keep up on your Double Dollars ($$), and scuz some fucking corpos before they scuz you.

Another cyberpunk game about psychic powers, I love the pitch for this game. It’s mean to kick you down and force you to get back up scratching and bleeding and screaming. It comes with 12 life paths, 12 psychic abilities, 8 different signature enemies and everything you need to run deadly quick combat. Also it’s published by Gormengeist, who really knows how to find a theme and sell you on it. Check it out!

[fullyarmoredbattlesturgeon]

Could I have some resources please on the claim that under anarchism, disabled people would have no aid, especially insulin, etc. I'm an aspiring anarchist but I hear anti anarchists say this stuff and cannot find anything to rebutt their claims or proof of it! I want to be an anarchist, but I do not want disabled people such as myself to suffer under it if that's a true claim

here's a really good all-rounder for you, with sections on both disability and healthcare.

that's such an alien thought to me these days because so many of the anarchists i know are disabled, guess i forgot that there's people out there that think like that.

i gave ya a link, but im gonna share some of my own thoughts anyways.

the thing (that most of us(looking at you, ancaps)) are fighting for is explicitly a society built around mutual aid and accessibility for all.

why would we stop caring and providing for those around us, without the state telling us to?

if the state goes away, my mom and i will still mow and clean up my blind neighbor's lawn and shovel part of his sidewalk. If the state goes away, my sister is still going to watch the dog for our other neighbor who's a busy single mother and can't always be around. if the state goes away, i'm still going to be looking out for my houseless friends and trying to get them whatever help or support they need.

if that can be true on a personal level, why can't it be true on a organizational and professional level? would doctors magically stop being doctors? would people stop making prosthetics and mobility aids?

so why would insulin suddenly dissappear overnight?

does the president like, secrete it, or something?

no, it's made by relatively normal people who make it because it's their job to make it. in a more horizontally organized society, the only thing that would really change is that their workplace would be democratized, and in the context of a gift economy (or something similar) the insulin would be seen not as a product, but something to be given, just as food or water would be.

"from each according to their ability, to each according to their need", right?

care is not something magically handed down from the heavens, it is something that people *do*.

*we* care for us, and to some extent or another, we always have.

how that care is *organized* though, is a political question, and this is what anarchism seeks to change - under capitalism, care is generally something that you either have to pay for, is handed down through "charity", or is controlled and parceled out by the state.

authoritarian communists want to hand everything over to the state, and simply assume that the state will care for us once it controls everything. that nationalization is an unalloyed good, simply because the state ain't the bosses - making it inherently good since the bosses are inherently bad.

on the other hand, a lot of people have this stereotype of anarchists as unorganized, rowdy bandits - but it's not that anarchists don't believe in organization, rather we believe that we should organize as horizontally, freely and democratically that we can. that is to say, anarchists tend to be... less *optimistic* about depending solely on the good graces of an all-powerful state, regardless of what 'flavor' that power comes in.

we take care of us, right?

well, except for ancaps i guess, they think that everyone should just be thrown to the wolves. it's no wonder why everyone thinks the ancaps are clowns.

bit rambly, but hope that helps. this isn't exactly something I'm well-versed in, but even i can defend against arguments as simple as this.

oh and hey, thanks for asking! hope ya have a nice day.

[lasersheith]

I really need help with understanding some important things (Palestine related) and need to get my feelings flung out into the void before I can start figuring out what and how to research so I'm gonna do all that in one messy post and hope maybe someone else has a good starting point or has already done this rodeo or something.

First off, I've been donating to and reposting the OOB links and other charity links and all of those people deserve safety and dignity and shouldn't be experiencing any of this, I'm not at all confused about this being a genocide and that being unequivocally horrible and the state of Israel being guilty of war crimes and crimes against humanity of increasingly horrific nature over the course of the last 60 years but especially last 6 months.

That out of the way, I get that people need to get out of Gaza, I get that Israel is bombing places they've said are safe zones and are targeting civilians and getting out is the only way to guarantee they won't be killed there. I also know that there are a lot of people who won't or can't leave for various reasons and there are orgs like doctors without borders and save the children that are helping those people and that's great, that infrastructure is really important.

I keep getting lost in my own thoughts and trying to set up something worded perfectly that no one could misconstrue as anything so that it's 100% obvious that I'm asking because I'm worried about people and don't know what to look into in order to keep helping but I know that's impossible so I guess I should get on with it.

A ton of these people are going to Egypt as refugees and I'm sure some of them are going to get there in a way that isn't legal (which I'm not saying is morally wrong here, they're literally being killed so I'm not going to judge them) because the border crossings are limited. For both groups of people I'm just terrified about what comes next for them. I know this is rich coming from someone in 2024 USA, but Egypt hasn't exactly been known to be the friendliest place for its own citizens and non-refugee immigrants, and I'm just really scared for everyone and I don't know what to do about it.

I don't know what organizations there are in Egypt that are helping organize refugees, if there are any that might be helping people get visas once they get into Egypt to keep refugees from piling up and ending up back in tent encampments with hardly any food or medicine because the Egyptian government doesn't have anywhere else to put them (or will say they don't). Most of the stuff I've found online has seemed fishy or is in arabic and the in browser auto translate has been horrendous to try to decode. I just don't know where to even look and I'm feeling really overwhelmed and anxious all the time because I know people are suffering and I want to put money in the hands of people who can help them navigate this horrible situation. Because like, getting out of the blast zone is definitely the most important thing and I'm glad so many people are mobilizing to help with that, but getting visas and getting ID cards and finding work to support their new lives after being through so much trauma and all of the other stuff they're going to have to navigate is going to be so hard and so confusing for so many people and I'm just. Overwhelmed.

[siriannatan]

Adventures of Superlad - Chapter 2

I have to confess I am trying to write this like a storyline in a game.

Featuring new original characters, making friends and gay panic.

The next few days were calm for Conner even with all the media outlets in the city trying to figure out everything there is to figure out about him. His true identity. Where did he come from? His connection to Superman and so on. But all Conner wanted was to help people in peace. Well, according to Dad, it was normal that the media were interested. He was a new, young hero who, as far as anyone was aware, had no connection to the Justice League.  Justice League even made a statement that as long as he didn't disturb their operations he was free to act in Metropolis. Which was as nice as it was unexpected.

“Supes? Are you there?” Celine asked as he hung out on top of LexTower as he tended to do when there was nothing else. 

“Yeah, what's up?"

“We have a prototype of the new glasses and jacket and my colleague Ash came up with a solution for our police Comms issue, feel free to come by the lab whenever,” she said with a ‘sup’ in the background.

“Okay, but you two better talk to me face to face,” Conner joked and entered through a hidden entrance that led straight to the lab.

The lab was a bit quieter than last time. Less people. When he was presented with the suit there were about ten scientists present. Now there were just two.

“Where's everyone?” He asked as he exited the elevator.

“Working on other ideas for stuff to either keep you safe or give you an edge in case anyone tricky shows up and retreat isn't an option. Celine by the way,” a dark-skinned woman with impressive hair bound back with a colourful scarf greeted him  Next to her was a pale… individual Conner would not hazard a guess here. Hair shaved completely on sides leaving a brightly pink mohawk. And they had piercings, like a lot of em. “This is Ash, the HUD system is our joint creation,” she added.

“Hiya kid, sorry I wasn't here last time, had a nap after pulling an all-nighter,” Ash raised their arm with a lazy grin.

“It's okay, but I'll need pronouns, I’d hate to assume anything,” Conner grinned back. Celine did give him her pronoun preferences as he chattered to her while flying around the city.

“I'm non-binary so feel free to use any that come to mind just none of that neo-pronoun shiz, I hate it,” Ash rolled his eyes and started talking Conner through his new glasses.

Big round, tinted. Much cooler. With hidden elastic that kept them secure. Shouldn't block lasers if he developed that and fully supported his x-ray vision. The new jacket was even cooler. It had spikes. L

“Prada’s neat and all but LexTech can withstand extreme temperatures and pressure while remaining lightweight and fashionable,” Celine half joked as Conner marvelled at the team's newest creations.

“I feel so cool,” he laughed. 

It looked and felt like leather despite being made of LexCorp experimental protective material, the same as his suit, that landed as a good mix of kevlar and latex for optimal protection and mobility.

“As for the police…” Ash grinned and pulled out a small round object. “All the precincts around the town have these towers,” he spoke while starting a presentation showing one of the towers. “You'll just have to get close enough to one and stay there for a short moment aiming this decryptor and voila, we're in. It should also work to disable more rudimentary electronic locks,” he explained while swapping the slides. 

Conner nodded along. Mid-distance hacking. Like in that spy movie, he saw a couple of weeks ago as a lesson on human culture. Neat. “That's awesome,” he grinned, putting the decryptor in one of the many pockets he was equipped with. One of the ones free of granola bars. He got hungry easily.

“Well, we still need to test it against Wayne's technology,” Ash sighed before grinning. “I might have been fired by ol' Brucie himself for trying to make that system too invasive for his delicate sensibility, so this might be a bit of revenge,” he added with a shrug.

Celine just rolled her eyes. “Just go to the precinct in the Meadows and try it out,” she said, patting Conner's shoulder and slipping him a chocolate-covered cereal bar. A rarity within LexCorp's b headquarters. Conner saluted them casually and took the lift out of the building before flying off to the Meadows.

Meadows was a rich area with not that much crime. Lex's apartment was actually in one of the skyscrapers there. Meaning Conner's house was there. So he wasn't sure it was a good place to test this thing but eh. He might be a bit of a genius but he was just a bit over five months old.

The precinct was silent. No one on the roof. So he pulled the device and clicked a button to activate it. It expanded to look a bit like a looking glass but with crosshairs light up in red. It turned blue when he had the satellite lined up. With a green bar progressing around the edge of the ‘glass’.

“It's done scanning,” he said, not sure it had worked.

“Give me one second,” Ash hummed. “There's a hijacked truck speeding through the main street of the area,” he said after a couple of seconds. “Wait… I don't like the look of this, be careful,” Ash said before muttering something to Celine about having to talk to the boss.

Conner confirmed to Celine he'd be careful before approaching the truck. It was clearly breaking speed limits. And was chased by two police cars. He had to stop it carefully.

“I can't see inside the truck. It's covered in lead,” he told Celine while actively thinking on how to stop it without risking whatever was in the back. They needed this truck intact. Not to mention all the pedestrians.

“Retreat immediately if you see a green glow,” suddenly dad's voice was in the Comms.

“Got it,” he said and, in an act that challenged the intelligence Lex's DNA was largely responsible for b landing in front of the truck to stop it manually. With his own body.

“Conner!?!” He heard three voices and he struggled to stay grounded as the truck collided with him.

“I got it, I'd doesn't hurt at all, I promise,” he said, straining until the truck came to a halt. 

“What the… no Super was supposed to find us,” a thug in a black mask. Not full head covering but enough to make identification hard jumped out aiming a gun at Conner.

“Surrender and you'll land in prison painlessly,” Conner warned. He felt a rare headache building up.

“Oh fuck off, this is just the rookie, what's there to be worried about,” the other thug laughed. 

Conner sighed before knocking them both out.

“Thanks for the help. Super…lad, correct?” One of the cops approached Conner as he hovered near the truck, keeping an eye on it as his father and the two scientists talked.

“Yes, it's lucky I was in the area, they were terrible drivers,” he joked. “Would you mind if I stick around until the owner collects this?” He pointed to the truck.

“Not at all, honestly, considering it's LexCorp property it's even better you're here. Who knows what an insane breakthrough is inside.”

“Yeah,” Conner nodded before the cop joined others in securing the area.

“There were no trucks scheduled in that area,” Celine spoke as he returned to paying attention.

“Not to mention, the truck with these numbers was supposed to be decommissioned when the rogue project that made you got shut down…” Ash's tone of voice was absolutely not reassuring.

“So what about the goons? Any connection there?” Conner asked. Okay, one rogue LexCorp truck that was supposed to be scrapped into toasters or something. He noted on a mental map.

“Not from Metropolis, the only match for these masks I get is… Gotham's Black Face gang…” Celine said after some furious typing.

Gotham gang in Metropolis? That couldn't be a coincidence or good for anyone.

“Conner, once the truck is collected by our people, come right back here, we need to talk,” Lex said and Conner never heard him be this serious. 

“Got it,” Conner said without a hint of joking or mischief.

Once the truck was collected by confirmed LexCorp employees, Conner flew off right to LexTower for a talk with Dad.

Lex was still in the lab. Now with the full team present and busy looking at screens. And dad, Ash, Celine and team lead Jenkins, gathered in the middle.

“So?” Conner asked, approaching fully ready to be told they'll be calling Justice League or at least Batman.

“I know I said no big villains, but we'll have to handle this ourselves,” Lex said sternly. “So I'll need you to be constantly vigilant and careful, okay?”

“Understood,” Conner nodded, internally glad they'd not be handing this off. “So what now? We track whoever was connected to that project?”

“That won't be easy,” Jenkins said shakily. “This was… a truck assigned to the team that ended up making…. Well. You,” he added after Lex gave a nod.

“What? Then why can’t we just find them?”

“We never told you but… most of the team that was supposed to have been working in that lab was found dead surrounding the tube you were in,” Lex said quietly. “And they were dead for a while,” he added as Conner just stood there shocked. An image of a dimly lit, distorted by glass room flashed through his mind. For now, he kept it to himself.

“And the rest? You said most,” Conner forced himself to remain calm. 

“Vanished. We tried everything but couldn't find a trace of them,” Ash saved Lex from having to say that.

“Meaning they might be working with that Gotham villain? Black Mask?” Conner asked, finally having enough control of himself to sit down.

“They certainly are the type that would,” Lex confirmed as the four of them sat around a map of the city. “We have a plan that shouldn't put you at too much risk.”

Conner nodded. As much as he'd like to solve this whole thing on his own he knew it would be too dangerous.

“We’ll use the name of the old project for simplicity. Cadmus,” Jenkins started explaining. “Our main objective is to find proof they're working with Black Mask, and if possible that boss had no hand in your creation and send that to Batman so he can talk to Justice League as they won't talk to us,” he laid it out.

It was a solid plan. Black Mask likely wouldn't have too much kryptonite, a mineral Conner was warned about. 

“And if Batman doesn't believe us?” Conner had to ask. Just to have everything laid out in his brain.

“We handle it ourselves and make the Justice League look stupid for making a child handle it,” Lex huffed with annoyance.

“Indeed, and boss… ummm about kryptonite. We have a theory, purely a speculation about possible serum that might neutralise it even for a brief moment. That is if our theory is right,” Jenkins stepped carefully with his words.

“What is this theory?” Conner asked. They'd really need anything they could if Bat turns them down.

“Well, the theory is that kryptonite basically drains certain vitamins from Kryptonian bodies and by reintroducing those vitamins we can at least temporarily disable it, hopefully long enough for our young hero to escape the most immediate danger,” he explained slowly, choosing his words with great care. “It is a theory though.”

“Can we do a test?” Conner shrugged looking at his father. “I'd rather be exposed to a controlled amount of that stuff here than out there. Especially if it might help me deal with it but I won't push.”

Lex sighed. “Fine, but have a version of the serum ready by the first exposure tests the fewer we need the better,” Lex's desire to keep Conner as safe as possible was certainly in great conflict with his practical side.

“So where are we starting?” Conner moved away from uncomfortable topics.

“Those police towers. One, more crime coverage, two it might help me pinpoint where Black Mask’s goons might be hiding, even if just a small hideout will be helpful in finding their main spot,” Ash said as the spots lit up on the map.

“Okay, so lunch, then fly around, hack stuff and save people, easy,” Conner nodded. 

He asked Dad if they could eat together, but sadly he was busy with a meeting he delayed for this meeting. Conner understood. They'd have dinner together anyway. So he changed and went out to eat as Conner Luthor. A kid who had to catch up on being rich. So of course he went to the best mall in town. 

Being a Luthor, most reporters left him alone. His dad was known to not like being jumped and Conner followed in his footsteps. And while usually he would ignore reporters hounding any other celebrities or socialites when he spotted one Timothy Drake-Wayne being stuck their eyes met. And the guy was obviously in distress and Conner was weak to people in distress. So he decided to save the son of his father's business nemesis.

“How about you guys go bother someone else and leave my friend alone? Sorry I'm late, Dad just had to talk to me,” he grinned at Timothy who was silent for a second just like the paparazzi.

“I wasn't waiting that long, though next time tell me where we're meeting so I don't have to wait outside,” Wayne chuckled and Conner just shrugged as the media slowly backed out just to run as he gave them the Luthor glare.

Once they were alone it instantly turned awkward. What was Conner supposed to do now? Was he supposed to think Timothy was kinda cute? Maybe just offer to buy him lunch? But they were both damn rich…

“Sooo, Conner Luthor, right?” Timothy was the first to speak. “Thanks for the save, Metropolis paparazzi are so much worse than Gotham's,” he sighed.

“Well, your family has a reputation of liking the media, it's my dad who threatens any he didn't invite with lawsuits,” Conner shrugged.

“And you?”

“I'll wave and smile if it's an event, when I just want to have my lunch in peace I'll let them know how displeased I am to be disturbed,” he shrugged. “So how about lunch? Sorry, I suck at socialising,” he chuckled.

“What about your dad? He hates my dad,” Timothy hummed.

“I can just say something along the lines ‘just imagine how annoyed Brucie Wayne is’ and he'll be satisfied,” Conner tossed out casually and they both laughed.

“Okay, I suppose we can try being friends. Timothy Drake-Wayne but you probably already knew that,” Timothy formally introduced himself. “But you can just call me Tim.”

“Conner Luther, and I don't really like when people shorten my name. My… mom gave it to me so…” Conner really only allowed Lex to call him ‘Kon’. Though on second thought he wouldn't mind Tim calling him that…

“I get it, come on let's go before I'm needed at the freaking office,” Tim urged and Conner took him to his favourite restaurant.

“So what's the story? Lex was rather stingy with details at your… unveiling,” Tim chuckled after they had their pizza and were waiting for dessert. They chatted about their dads and being rich boys with expectations. It all went well so far in Conner's opinion. He didn't think Tim had any reason to think he was just a few months old.

“Aah, that… well there's not much of a story. I was born, my mother maybe got five minutes to hold me before I started dying from every illness in the air of that hospital. Being born with practically no immune system,” Conner said the story they have made up for the press. “Since then I lived in a completely sterile room eating astronaut food,” he tacked on as a half-joke.

“Dang, no wonder Lex never told anyone about you, whole bunch of activists would scream at him about child abuse,” Tim winced.

“It's not that bad I had cartoons,” Conner joked. He did have to speed-watch a whole bunch of stuff to make this believable and cartoons were his favourite. Worth it since now he could move his talk with Tim to topics other than his sad backstory.

“Back to the sterile room. How are you so…” it only worked for so long. “Buff.”

“It was my immune system that was bust, not these guns,” Conner laughed. Okay, this wasn't a bad take on it. He even flexed a little.

“Are you sure you're Lex's? You're too funny.”

“I guess I must have it from Mom. And cartoons,” he shrugged as his phone buzzed. End of lunch break there was a fire that needed his attention. “Sorry I gotta go, dad's free from his boring meeting with the board of boring.”

At least he got one more smile from Tim. Didn't have to argue who was paying. And most shockingly had his number.

After stopping the fire he patrolled and hacked the satellite dishes. Listening a bit in on the support office as they analysed everything they could about the Cadmus project. What wasn't wiped out before the old lab was abandoned. But mostly he just zoned it out focusing on being helpful.

Tim couldn't believe his luck. Just a few days in Metropolis and he met Lex Luther's miracle boy. And it was honestly hard to connect the two without knowing they were related. Wasn't Lex supposed to have been a ginger before he went bald? And like…

Conner was genuinely nice, friendly and funny. Like really genuinely. There was no hint of him faking it. Yes, he was sure hiding something but considering his whole story… yeah he was free to keep some details to himself.

And yeah, Conner was freaking hot sue him. The guy wore a leather jacket and probably the tightest jeans in all of Metropolis. And like… Tim was just a guy okay. And puberty was strong. And Conner's arms were a masterpiece.

And then there was the new Super flying about. In a fitted bodysuit and as of today new, cropped, leather jacket and shades. Did he and Conner go to the same stylist or something? And yes he had work but damn Metropolis was the heartthrob central of America. He needed some good coffee before tonight…

[urfavsidekick]

okay here’s the rundown

- i’m cas! 18, queer, mostly just here to mess around

- (very) amateur filmmaker. film is my artistic medium of choice, i’m so completely in love with it, and i’m probably gonna talk a lot about my experiences with it and also movies i like. current favorite is titane by julia ducournau, but it’s always always changing. please! ask me about movies cuz i will have answers and can yap at length about any of them. also if we’re longtime mutuals and you’re really into a specific film and just need someone to talk to about it feel free to recommend it to me because i love a good conversation about a movie!

my header is from i saw the tv glow in case anyone wanted to know !

check out my letterboxd if you’re curious! i mostly mess around on there but occasionally i’ll write serious reviews. i’m way too invested in it, and am constantly on there.

- i also love music, all types of it.

- i’m a big reader when i can be, seriously i need to make more time for it, but i’m happy to chat about books too.

- BE WARNED i will sometimes yap at length about whatever’s on my mind, this isn’t all that curated, but if you don’t want to see long text posts that’s cool! i’ll tag them all with #thinkin so you can avoid them if you don’t want a wall of text on your dash

- also let me know if you want me to tag anything else, i don’t really use tags to organize but absolutely will use them to filter out stuff if anyone needs

- feel free to chat with me, send asks, interact however you want! i love talking to people about things, just don’t be weird obviously but i feel like that’s common sense. if you feel like it feel free to say hi !

REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF:

^an awesome action guide with tons of resources for how you can help

^a cool mutual aid organization with chapters all over the world