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#tagged: ff
ebonyheartnet · 6 months
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-Recording begins-
Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.
Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!
Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*
Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.
Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*
Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.
Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*
Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.
Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*
Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!
Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*
Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.
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redysetdare · 3 months
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All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.
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parallelpie · 5 months
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First off this absolutely cursed AU was inspired by Lemonomelette and a post they made -X Secondly I imagine it all being about bots and cons trying to one up each others factions and not actually helping in any serious way because their too busy with their own faction bs.
Think of two rival car dealerships across the street one upping each other to get business and instead of business with cars its interstellar robot fairys trying to woo sm children to let them grant their inconsequential wishes (which may or may not be worth it) instead of the other guy next door.
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dumplingsjinson · 7 months
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List of “mix of random dialogue and non-dialogue, smut and non-smut” prompts
“I’m a mess because of you.” “You’re my mess.” “I’m… I’m your mess.” (FUCKING HELLO BITCH DO NOT- WLKFNFKLN I’ll get on my knees for you, my love—)
“That’s my baby girl/baby boy.” (Can he just— HEWOQKNFWKELNF) 
“You look so hot like that.”
“God, you turn me on so much.”
“Fuck, I’m gonna come—” Character B whimpers, hips bucking into Character A’s. “Mm, yeah? Then come for me,” Character A murmurs, stroking their fingers through Character B’s hair. (The noises he made as he came undone were SO FUCKING HOT BYE. those WHIMPERS?? FUCKING DELICIOUSSSSS LET ME HEAR MORE OF THEM, I BEG- ALSO WHO KNEW I HAD IT IN ME TO SAY THAT TO SOMEONE LMFAO, “then come for me” WQBHRELWJKNEWF BITCH. GET OUTTT-)
Those sweet little noises Character B tries so hard to suppress but is unable to as they come undone.
“I’m such a fucking wreck right now…”
“Imagine how good I’d feel inside of you.” (FUCKIFKSKSKKSKSKS WHEN HE SAID THAT AND I WAS LIKE LKENFKLEWNF-)
“I love you so much,” Character B murmurs, hugging Character A closer to them. (🥹🥹🥹 HE SAID IT HE SAID IT HE SAID ITTT 😭 He’s said it over text before but now it’s in person and I’m actually gonna WEEP EWKLNFWEEFN)
“I love you for you, and I’m going to continue to love you. I’ll always love and support you no matter what,” Character B reassures after Character A spills out their anxieties and worries to them about a situation they’ve been so, so scared to tell them about; scared of how Character B would react. (…I’m just going to say I love this man so much.) 
“When I first met you, I didn’t know you were like this,” Character A murmurs, slowly grinding their hips down against Character B’s. Character B grins up at them, hands wrapped around their thighs, squeezing gently. “Yeah, and I didn’t know I was like this, either. And I thought you were shy when I first met you... Now look at you, huh?” 
Character A not knowing how sensitive their breasts are until Character B pays full attention to them with their mouth. (…I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING ELSE BUT FUCK YES—) 
Character A tearing up as they try to be vulnerable with Character B, and Character B reassuring them by telling them they can take their time and it’s okay if they can’t say it right now; that they can say it when they’re ready. 
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so enamoured by someone,” Character A murmurs, caressing Character B’s face. (I’M A POETIC SIMP, WHAT CAN I SAY—) 
“Fuck, why are you— Mmh— why are you doing this to me?”
“We can take things as slow as you want. I want you to be comfortable, and as long as you’re happy, then I’m happy.”  (PLEASE WJDJJS IM CRYING AHH, how’d I get someone so sweet sjkdms)
“We can rent a hotel somewhere… You can be as loud as you want then, hm?” (HE’S JUST FUCKING OUT HERE, YOUR HONOUR!!) 
“Fuck me,” Character A whimpers as Character B’s hips picks up with speed. “I could if you wanted me to,” Character B grunts. (SIR- FUCK OFF ISTFGGG)
Character B placing their hand on Character A’s thigh while they’re sitting down.
Character B wrapping their arm around Character A’s shoulders and pulling them closer to them, letting Character A rest their head on their shoulder.
Character B leaning in for a kiss and Character A shyly leaning in to give them a quick peck on the lips. 
“Whatever I do, I’ll always be adorable to you, won’t I? Even if I do the most heinous shit known to mankind—” “Yes. Yes, you’ll always be adorable to me.” 
“You sure you don’t wanna close the blinds? People outside could see us…” “Trust me, they won’t.” (this FUCKING GUY, but I guess he wasn’t wrong after I took a closer look at the blinds—) 
“You’re enjoying yourself up there, aren’t you?” Character B teases, watching through hooded lids as Character A rides them while clothed. “Does it look like I am?” Character A questions, breathless. 
“You just… You make me happy.” (YOU DO TOO, MY LOVE <333) 
“You’ve always been so caring and supportive of me so I don’t know why I doubted you… I’m sorry.” 
Character A being ticklish on their neck whenever Character B plants soft feather like kisses there, so Character B plants even more soft kisses there, turning Character A into a giggling mess. 
Kisses on the eyelids. (The softest shit EVER)
“Didn’t realise your objective was to get into my pants all this time,” Character B teases, and Character A rolls their eyes, a breathless laugh leaving them. “You know that’s not true. I think you’re the one who has the objective of getting into my pants,” Character A throws back. Character B shakes their head with a chuckle. “That’s not true.”
“How are we gonna manage being away from each other for a whole month?” Character A murmurs softly. “Mmmh, we’ll somehow manage,” Character B reassures, stroking their fingers through Character A’s hair.
“How are you going to manage without this for a whole month?” Character B questions as Character A grinds down on them. “I don’t think I fucking will is the thing,” Character A admits, unabashedly.
Character B moving Character A’s hair out of their face to plant gentle kisses on their face.
Character B laying their head on Character A’s stomach and Character A fondly saying to them, “You’re such a baby,” while carding their fingers through their hair.
Character B snuggling up next to Character A, post-orgasm. (SIRRRR- PEHFLKEWNELKWNF) 
Character A moaning Character B’s name and Character B losing their self-restraint over it. (Maybe I did it on purpose to turn him on—)  
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volos-wish · 4 months
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Old not-vampire man struggles with technology and gets help from his boyfriends fursona
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spllwys · 2 months
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PAPA IV BACKSTAGE in Rite Here Rite Now
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kiwiplaetzchen · 21 days
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Character Sheet / Student ID
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With the help of some cute Gremlins, I was able to create a Character Sheet / Student ID with different designs for each house for your Hogwarts (Legacy) OC/MC!
Please feel free to use it and share your character(s)! :3 💚💙💛❤️
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rosanishelios · 2 months
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canon-typical homophobia
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adpndrgn · 3 months
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give her a spin
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glitterynebulas · 5 months
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THIS IS CRAZYYY
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jtl-fics · 1 year
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Fluent Freshman - 01
Just thinking about some poor Palmetto Freshman who, due to the nature of the Foxes, is super quiet and blends into the background. This poor freshman is a foreign language major (forcing himself to have to talk to people and he likes languages) and he knows a couple languages already!
He hasn’t mentioned his major so no one knows but its fine there will be time to make friends and- did Captain Neil just call the scary goalie милый (Darling)? Their tones give away nothing but the goalie with all the knives responded by calling his weirdly intense captain кролик (Bunny).
He stares at them but Andrew threatens to cut him if he keeps looking (he thinks its about Neil’s scars) and now he has officially missed the chance to mention that he is fluent in Russian.
Cue being subjected to the sappiest shit on the entire planet because Andrew and Neil are fucking extra with the shit they say when no one can listen in. So now begins the long play of trying not to let on that he knows because that would be so embarrassing! So awkward! He masters the art of the poker face by the Fall Banquet. He refuses to sit in hearing distance of the two of them on the bus because last time he listened to Andrew describe in excruciating detail what he was going to do to Neil if Neil let him when they got back to the dorm. (He couldn’t get up and walk away! That’d be suspicious!)
This is his hell but at least he made friends with the other freshmen when he accidentally said “No I think Andrew likes Captain Neil plenty.” Because he was trying not to process the absolutely filthy things Andrew was saying to Neil in what looked like a heated argument.
The only person who knows is Nicky because Nicky came up and asked if he was homophobic (power walking away from Neil and Andrew when Neil sat in Andrew’s lap for movie night because he has LEARNED that lesson) and he panicked because HE IS NOT HOMOPHOBIC and confessed that he is fluent in Russian.
Nicky, wisely, promises to take this information to his grave. The freshman weeps in gratitude.
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NEXT
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nobie · 3 months
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people also ask: how to acquire a clone boyfriend? [template/insp]
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dontfuckmylifewtf · 2 years
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No matter how weird the questions are that Neil Gaiman gets (or for the matter we see because he answered them), I would like to remind everyone, that having around 80.000 asks in your inbox gives you a lot to choose from.
Meaning, that Neil Gaiman probably actively chooses from these 80.000 questions what he answers.
So for the love of god, stop bullying the people asking "cringe" questions. They probably didn't expect to get an answer anyways, and Neil chose to answer them.
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city-tickles · 3 months
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“I haven’t tickled you nearly as hard”
When the ler is 100% not ticklish, you’re in trouble 😂
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wild-flowerhoney · 5 months
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"i dont understand how you can ship-" you're no fun.
"they're the blueprint! canon! why would you-" you're boring. shush. go back to playing with your sad beige toys.
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agender-wolfie · 2 years
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Guys. Stop tagging your OC stories as X reader. It’s hard to sift through and I don’t go to the x reader tag for OC’s I don’t care about .
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